ZEN for intellectuals
(Unintellectual Fables & Koans)
FREDO VELAZQUEZ
Velazquez, Alfredo Zen for intellectuals First edition KDP Morelia, Michoacán, Mexico. February 2022. ISBN 979-8-4113-8450-5 © Alfredo Velazquez, 2021-2022 alfredovr86@hotmail.com Editorial services and layout design by Qvixote Press leo@qvixote.press Cover design by Emir Plancarte Illustration * P10 - Zen fish. Oi Yee Tai (2016). Retrieved on February 1st, 2022, from
http://www.oystudio.com/oygallerywhite.html
Image taken from a freely accessible website.
tab l e o f c on ten ts
What of Zen for intellectuals? About the language of Zen
i iv
故事 - Fables Why believe in reality, above all things? The peach blossom spring On the foolish “promoters of love”, to say the least “How is one to practice Zen?” Zen: a legacy of who?
11 12
公案 - Koans The nature of a koan Once said Master Grasshopper: The only solution In pursuit of “the present” Non-duality in the thick of multiplicity How come they don’t need a Buddha? Stone Buddhas What’s the point?
17 20 21 22 24 25 26 27
5 6 9
Eternity: always something ephemeral Is this life just an illusion? Overpowering the mind Where lies destiny? Remaining nowhere Self-realization The meaning of life The Buddhas… what are they good for? The highest truth Shhh!... the void Figuring out the “I” Reality is… Worthless beauty What does it mean to exist? Some-thing instead of no-thing The main purpose Who was born to be happy? The beginning of every reality The better use of Mr. Gautama’s words Between reality and the mind What’s after death? A universal “one”? Understanding Zen Before our origins Mastering the mind Of the most important thing
28 29 30 31 32 34 36 37 38 40 41 42 43 45 46 48 50 52 54 55 56 57 59 60 61 62
Overcoming the ego? Zen voices of nature The unmasking of human existence The nonsense of the Buddha The pathless path The essence of the ten thousand things Annihilating self-identity Faster than the mind? Look not in the present The wayless way of Zen Spiritual insanity Who or what is responsible for this creation? No need to be compassionate Overcoming death What Zen is not On the sacred texts Figuring out eternity Barely existing Awakening: always an accidental happening Born to die thoughts Unthinkable thoughts Disregarding Zazen Absent moments The impossibility of meditation An eternal thought? The origin of all things
63 64 66 67 68 69 70 71 73 74 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 84 86 87 88 89 91 92 93 94
Give it back to the sacred texts! The language of what is Just another attempt to be eternal Who is spiritual? Don’t use the mind! Elucidating destiny Fed up with the sermons Soothsayers, prophesiers, and “the son of god” The right teacher of Zen Better to live, or cease to exist? Every meaning in the world One with the universe, or just one more? Is anyone perfect? On human nature Learning to ignore reality Overcoming the need to overcome the veil of ego Before death arrives Understanding enlightenment When to give up Zazen The fascinating world of earthly temptations The explanation of the world A sermon of Zen An infinite understanding The Zen speech of the century Recognizing the correct teacher of Zen Intentions that cut your head off
96 97 98 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 109 111 112 113 114 115 116 118 119 120 121 123 124 125 126
The endless in the temporary and the temporary in the eternal On those who wish to become eternal Who can think of nothing? Figuring out how to live What reality really is How much do you ignore? Supreme plan vs. springtime cherries Into the other side It’s never been a matter of life and death The end of all questions Acknowledgments
128 130 131 133 135 137 138 139 141 143
w hat o f Z e n f o r in t el l ec t uals?
Z
en is originally an outgrowth of the rich Buddhist spoken folklore introduced to China by Bodhidharma, a monk of Persian roots presumably somewhere near the year 520 A.D., and of the flourishing Taoism of such latitudes, and times of the like. Only a merging of the sort could have given birth to an unparalleled philosophical and artistic movement that up until the present (and perhaps now with even more thrust than ever) enlightens all sorts of experience-makers, dissenters, and poets. Its spiritual facet...? Suffice it to say that the present compositional endeavor alludes only to that which anyone, at any time, may effortlessly attend. Historically, we could very well say that Zen is a sect that derives from Buddhism, but Zen as an experience! (The nothing-to-learn paradox), strips away even the tiniest speck of tradition. It is rather a dis-interiorizing adventure that originates from no-where and belongs to no-thing that can be intellectualized; so never mistake it for explanations that come with past, present, or future hopes, for it is, instead, the fascinating power of The Immediate Reality that, curiously enough, can never be put into words (and silence is too weak to contain it). The ancient poets declared it to be something impossible for the mind, thus, a happening the ten thousand words will forever fail to say.
i
So, it must be said: this scribe’s naïve attempt across the entirety of the present text could be said to be, at best, child’s play. For how could one capriciously dare try, by means of words, come close to that which can never be told? In this case, the isness of Zen. An even though Zen’s spontaneousness is tremendously meaning-full, and yet, meaning-less, such meaning occurs as The Artistic Expression that no brushstroke, nor tome, nor say (I do wonder about the song of the fisherman), could possibly convey. For when it is conveyed, it could very well be the beauty of all things, but never truly Zen. What is it then, that which makes the present written attempt and the idea behind Zen for intellectuals, for any reader, so appealing? With ample certitude, having managed to strip Zen away from a disproportionate heft of metaphysical and spiritual pretense, as well as presenting it purely as an artistic expression free of sanctimonious heredity, moral decorum, and the pretending to fill existential voids through rituals and auspicious words. Though, the reader must be warned (!): Let it not confound you, the writer’s contradiction. This night, that same moon, brightens both the sages and the fool. Zen for intellectuals is, after all, a promising road to be walked (comparable to those of the old spiritual days). And the depths of such a road (or should we say practice?), come not without contradiction or paradox. The Zen for intellectuals’ ever-present stroll consists in not succumbing to dreamlike speculation, in not, in any way, discoloring with existential-faith any one of life’s events; in not ever addressing the next experience with truths formerly known, in ii
knowing about and enjoying the confines of our conscious intellection, and of course, in relying solely on what is: a goal from which no one can escape, but that every-one, can easily evade. And, at the risk, despite the book’s infancy, of having already confused the reader, allow this wordsmith to assure you that Zen for intellectuals was never meant for “intellectuals”. It is in itself, with luck and at best, a title that beguiles conscious awareness into wallowing in the next experience, whatever that may be, free from all intellectual need. A mighty task that is! The art of not-knowing is a counterintuitive affair of hardly any friends, for what mind in its proper state would seek to decimate, even for the briefest of moments, the assortment of descriptions that fashion it-self?
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ab out th e l a n g u a ge of Ze n
I
t should be known that the linguistic expression of Zen, since time immemorial and to this day, avoids verbiage at all costs and despises any resemblance to metaphysical speculation. Ergo, it has become the lingo that points directly, through unexpected voices, to that which is, and that which is not. Its dialectical gestures bring to light the ambiguities of conceptual thinking in addition to destabilizing bred-in-the-bone cognitive processes, hence, thrusting any given aspirant into the experience of awakening to the ordinary, of unconcern for all known truths, of forsaking all superior existential faith, and, naturally, of the non-seeking mind-set. Such is the above-mentioned lingo’s audacity! Has any other ever dared to make of silence, something to be read? Crafting its movements, its stillness, and demeaning it in cases well deserved? Consequently, one could say: “wait, is it just the penman, or is this written page starting to lose its Zen, falling into the trap of wordiness?” So, in order to avoid a literary catastrophic event, let it just be noted, and said, that the language of Zen, means the end of every way. P.S. If some-one, whilst appreciating the various artistic expressions of Zen, believes to have understood, any one thing about Zen, they couldn’t be more wrong. Which, in this respect, is the best-case scenario that some-one could realistically long for. iv
Nocogo has been the only Zen nun that dismissed her Zen, to make it happen.
ZEN for intellectuals
(Unintellectual Fables & Koans)
f abl e s
故事
w hy b el ie v e in reali ty, a b ove a l l t h in g s ?
A
fter many weighty years of contemplation, the until then cenobite believed himself ready to face the impetuous rants of Master Grasshopper. Confidently he approached: “Master Grasshopper! Zen quiets faith, faith reduces Zen to naught. Reality contains no Zen let alone, faith.”
“Have you returned only to spit out foregone conclusions? Oh, how much you’ve achieved!” Retorted Master Grasshopper in his accustomed farcical manner. “Tell me then, was reality able to save you?” “Master, I no longer care to believe in reality.” “Oh, my! You have no Zen, you have no faith, and now you also lack reality?! Good then, you have freed yourself from The Believer’s Pursuit, as would any other sage.” “Nay Master, sorry to make you confused. I continue to rejoice and believe in all things that needn’t be believed in.” “Thank the stars! I came to think that you would become, at most, any other sage.” 5
th e pe ac h b l o s s o m sp ri ng
Delve, inquire, seek! No one has ever found by such means, the peach blossom spring.
I
***
n ancient times, near the capital of the Xia dynasty, a humble villager journeyed on his wooden raft without care nor destination, he simply enjoyed being carried away by the soothing current of The Yellow River. After several hours of boating downstream, the modest drifter began to notice that the width of the river got narrower with every traveled league. Suddenly, it was no longer The Yellow River through which he navigated, but a slim stream covered with peach blossom corollas. In awe, the villager stood up hoping to glance back to the way he came. Alas! It was far too late. As far as his eyes could see, there was nothing more than an oasis of blossoms of pink. The humble villager calmly sat down and was left with no other choice but to rely on the gentle stream that had carried him into the distances unknown. After countless leagues, the gentle stream turned into a lazy creek which, in turn, became a tiny passage of water with just 6
enough room for the wooden raft to move through. And so, it came to pass: no more signs of the current that had brought him to such distances were to be seen, merely peach blossom petals on which he and his raft melodiously streamed. On walking away from the wooden raft, the humble villager was found by pleasant fields of pink upon which rose modest timber huts that sheltered pleasant, generous, and peaceful folks. The foreigner was well received. He spent several weeks indulging in some of the world’s finest delicacies and drinking without end by the side of the joyous people of the place, wines of the rarest strains. He was endlessly delighted by the graceful landscapes covered in a sea of corollas of pink, where he played and frolicked with the children that selflessly befriended him, as did all the sentient beings that there lived. Upon leaving, the humble villager was asked only one thing: not to mention the whereabouts of The Peach Blossom Spring. He was told the story of how it had been decades since they managed to escape civilization, and only then, after breaking away from morality, laws, and order, were they able to harmoniously coexist. He promised, as would any other indebted human being, to not ever say a thing. The humble peasant got onto his raft and somehow made it back to his village without delay; the current did not oppose his way. He immediately marched into the capital of the whole empire only to give a detailed account of his dreamlike encounter with the bright colors and the cordial beings of the distances unknown. The emperor, Yu the Great, sent tens of thousands of runners to try to find this supposed pink and harmonious place… they all got lost along the way, and were never seen again. The wise man of 7
the empire, after years of seeing no success, decided to go himself in search of such a heavenly earthly place. Oh, how close did he get! But just before arriving at the blossoms of pink, he fell tremendously ill, and passed away. Ever since, no one has dared talk about the river that leads to The Peach Blossom Spring. (Inspired by a poem of Tao Yuanming)
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on the foolish “promoters of love”, to say the least
T
he young cenobite, after having delved into the reasons contained in the Diamond Sutra next to his ordained brothers inside the Zendo, rushed enthusiastically toward the inscrutable gardens of the sacred precinct, hoping to share his most recent understandings with the wisest of his friends: “Master Grasshopper! It is said tha…” “Wait!” Master Grasshopper interrupted the cenobite’s speech. “Before you are too quick to say what it is said, elucidate something for me.” “Uh… Yes Master, of course. Whatever you ask of me.” “What is your say on the ‘promoters of love’, those who come into the world to free you from your ignorance, point to the better ways, and make your life a worthy stay?” The cenobite, was no longer so. He immediately renounced his monastic vows (was he too quick to answer?) losing all interest in becoming the words of the sacred texts and of those who come to change this realm. He no longer cared to be a part of something more, now before his eyes a foolish chore. He headed back into the Zendo to set fire to the world’s first printed work, The Diamond Sutra, and left his monastic dress on top of where the book was usually kept. He was never to be seen again. 9
※ note to the reader The “promoters of love” … Do we really need to point them out? Look around! Their prophecies continue to colonize the minds of our fellow men. But, so claim the colonized, it is the promoters’ duty, due to their ‘higher levels’ of consciousness, to walk these lands selflessly, distributing ‘mastery’. In this fable’s mysterious turn of events, the cenobite, after being asked about “the promoters of love”, immediately woke up to the realization that he was becoming trapped by the never-ending paths toward betterment. He no longer cared to be constrained by the self-improvement ways, nor was he willing to hope for a better stay. Howbeit, the question remains Which way did he take And who could precisely say? Rumors speak of his voice being heard among the morning songs of the fishermen.
10
“how is one to practice Zen?”
A
sked the cenobite vigorously. To which Master Grasshopper replied:
“Drink to thirst. Eat to hunger. Sleep to weariness.” “Is that not something we all do?!” Shouted the cenobite.
“If so, what is it you’re still doing here, studying the ways of Zen at the expense of denaturing your most ordinary needs?” The cenobite was never again to be seen.
11
Zen: a legacy of who?
“I
n this and all of the worlds, what has been the most precious piece of wisdom the sage of the Shakyas (Buddha) bequeathed us?” Asked Hui-neng, the sixth and last great patriarch of Zen, hoping to awaken any given aspirant. “Honorable Hui-neng, my nature has never asked me to turn his way. I could not say.” “Thanks to whom then, if not Shakyamuni, are we able to speak of Zen?” Inquired Hui-neng, expecting as an answer the one implied in his quest. “If the ‘zen’ you speak so highly of is subdued by simple laws of cause and effect, I don’t see why not attribute it to the sage of the Shakyas. In which case, however, it would also be fair to mention his efforts to consider the present as something to be contained by the mind, and the mind, as something to be explained by the present. How much of that is true, O patriarch of Zen?” *** Could the former fuss have something to do with the fact that Huineng was, in the history of Buddhism, the last patriarch of Zen?
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k o ans
公案
Before encountering a koan, always remember: its gateless gate has one way out, but no way in.
the natu re o f a k oan
H
uman beings, generally speaking, are accustomed to describing every new experience through preconceived terms, that is to say, mystical, religious, philosophical, scientific, faithful, godly, existential, logical, academic, cultural, and conventional terms… amongst many others. They are also fond of gabbling second-hand knowledge as means to communicate their personal relationship with the world: “regurgitated fools”! (Would surely opine Master Grasshopper). But what would happen if we were lucky enough to face such an astounding intellectual challenge before which the entirety of our conceptual content proved to be barren and vague? A stumper before which the act of thinking (always late with regard to immediate reality) would turn out to be but useless and vain. Such would be any human’s fate while trying to address the crushing intricacies of a koan. A koan, if it were possible to describe, it would be said to be a hopeless riddle presented in the form of a statement or a question that impedes our accustomed understanding process and makes it impossible for us to react by means of logic, reason, common sense or, needless to mention, truths formerly known. And so, what could be said to be the purpose of such a paradoxical existential riddle traditionally rendered by the Zen masters of 17
the Rinzai lore to any “one” in hope of enlightenment? Could it be to try and penetrate remote places of the mind reasoning cannot? Is it perhaps to cause an unprecedented mental shock? Could it be to produce an endless chain of inadequate responses so that the koan is finally consumed by them all? Perchance it is to create awareness and compromise the relevance of the reality of one’s existence, or it could very well be to expose the futility of the accumulated human sageness before a conundrum which exists in the existent, but dwells not in the mind. Lastly, could it aim to leave the mind blank, or does it intend to show how the need for enlightenment is the only true riddle unsolved? In the end, all of the aforementioned reasons could be said to be true, and yet, not one of them could be said to be true. For the writer, these enigmatic yet ill-mannered and diverting riddles (for the essence of a koan is but solemn), make evident the countless limitations of the human intellect, especially when it comes down to the effort of figuring out the importance of our existence amid the universal hustle and bustle. At the same time, one of the koan’s greatest gifts, is the possibility of estranging any thought-process from its relationship to what is and what is not, to such a degree where the mind is stripped from all proper thoughts to grasp and face any given riddle hidden within the nonchalant and ambiguous tone of a koan. Just as the Trappist monk Thomas Merton so rightly pointed: If you believe to have understood the slightest thing about Zen, you could never be more wrong. The same goes for a koan: the aspirant who faces these mental exercises with exceeding certainty, or thinks to have solved them, could never be further away from a koan’s very own purpose. Which, by the way, is always in the opposite direction: nothing to grasp, nothing to learn. Perhaps that is why they are so 18
fascinating, for more often than not, they bend and demean you in such a way that you find it preferable to refocus your attention on that which truly concerns your human experience. In the Rinzai tradition, some tell stories of monks isolating themselves for years on end in a quest for solving a koan; most of them failed. Nevertheless, a few courageous cenobites returned with answers more ridiculous than the quest itself. It was them, precisely, the ones that eventually had the Zen master rolling in the aisles making that whole scene worthwhile. In the end, inevitably, both the cenobite and the Zen master ended up breaking out in laughter, and amongst laughter it was that it became clear that there was nothing left to solve.
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on c e s a id M a s te r Gra s s h op p e r: (koan)
H
e who travels these lands collecting superior motives to harbor allaying truths, is but the barren voice that wishes to change the world while chanting the sacred books. Oh, how much better it would be to run into the valley of endless questions… questions that bear no answer, but are of refreshing nature. However, watch out for the intellectual fools that promote high expectations by asking questions that bear no answer, but are of refreshing nature. For, in the end, there is really no difference between the acolytes of truth and the upholders of hopeless questions: both are of fearful nature. Now, do you see the freedom that brings not caring for answers, nor questions?
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the o nl y s o l u ti o n (koan)
“C
enobite!” Shouted loudly Master Grasshopper while in the priory gardens. “Why are you so dishonest with all the devoted minds that dwell here?” “Master! All I do is but glorify your teachings.” “Nonsense! You have become but another fraud that preaches ulterior motives. Kick everyone out… give them back their vows!” “But Master! How could I even consider doing that to hundreds of devotees that have literally forgotten their former lives?” “Very simple. Before parting from the monastic grounds yourself, stick a note on every stone Buddha’s face that says: ‘The only solution, is no solution.’” Thenceforth, the only inhabitants of the priory have been its gardens, Master Grasshopper, and tens of Buddha’s statues covered with paper notes.
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in p ur su it o f “t h e pre se nt” (koan)
“M
aster, how is one to be absolutely present?”
“Who dares disturb the calm of the wee hours of the morning?!” Grumbled Master Grasshopper. “Master, it is I, your most loyal cenobite.” “In that case, you are excused. Only in the absence of an ‘I’ could we address the present. Come back when you become nobody.” “But Master! How could somebody ever pretend to be nobody?” “I don’t know… by making the cherries blossom.” ※ note to the reader In the absence of an “I” there would be no time, and without time, there is no “present”. Thus, we could very well say that “the present” is a hoax of the time-full “I”. So, in order to kill time, and therefore obliterate the “here and now”, there needs to be no “one” … just as Master Grasshopper suggested. But as long as the “I” remains, there will be time, heck, lots of time! And also, the eternal “present”.
22
Master Grasshopper, inscrutable as he is, concluded by speaking to the cenobite in a figurative way, urging him to uproot “the present” that flourishes in the core of his selfhood, so as to have just enough space where the cherries can bloom instead.
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non- d ua l i ty in th e thi ck of m ul tip l i c ity (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I have spent my long years being nothing but a faithful apostle of The Way of Zen, perhaps I will just never be able to overcome duality’s conceptual crisis.” “Please, come. Allow me to show you the end of all dualities.” Suggested Master Grasshopper as a small gesture of kindness. “Look that way… are you not aware of the world’s multiplicity?” “I am, Master.” “Now look the other way. Are you not aware of the world’s multiplicity?” Immediately thereafter, the cenobite woke up from duality’s conceptual crisis. ※ note to the reader The cenobite was indeed hoping for Master Grasshopper to respond in the language of non-duality, alas, the latter did just the opposite: he gave prominence to the world’s multiplicity, and somehow, unbeknownst to the author, the cenobite overcame the need to overcome duality’s conceptual crisis, while exulting in the infinite diversity of things. 24
h ow c o me t h e y don ’t ne e d a B udd h a ? (koan)
A
fter an abrupt realization, the cenobite rushed angrily and almost out of breath to the priory gardens:
“Master Grasshopper! How come only the human species is in need of a Buddha? What about plants, and all other species... are they better than us?!” “Please, calm down. It is only while you become plants, and all other species.” The cenobite felt contented, and quietly walked away.
25
sto ne B u d d h a s (koan)
A
fter many years of absence, out of pure chance or perhaps due to the curiosities of fate, Master Grasshopper showed up to the shala of the priory. The devotees of the place, upon noticing his presence, paid their most sincere respects. “Show me your best Zen!” Cried out Master Grasshopper. At once, the assembly of cenobites staged their best posture of Zazen. “Stone Buddhas... forever useless.” Muttered the legendary Orthopteran. As he made his way out, he noticed the empty space of one of the cenobites. “Where has he gone?!” “Master, he passed on just two nights ago.” “What a fool! He was so close to showing his best Zen.” ※ note to the reader Unfortunate cenobite. If only he had waited a few more days to die, he might have been able to show his best Zen. Maybe then his Zen would have finally been approved by Master Grasshopper. 26
w hat’ s th e p o i n t ? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what is the point of earnestly trying to follow The Way of Zen?”
“This is the point: whether you follow The Way of Zen or not, you will soon die, and then be nothing.” Soon after the words of Master Grasshopper, the cenobite realized Zen, and decided to follow its way, for the rest of his days. ※ note to the reader Could The Way of Zen be, after all, no way at all?
27
ete r nity : a l w a y s some thing ep he m e ra l (koan)
T
he cenobite, upon noticing a throng of Christians on a lifelong pilgrimage, decided to go to his Master for an accurate account of what was truly happening: “Master Grasshopper, how come they march towards eternity?” “Ah, them again! Clearly, because they have no idea that eternity is in fact, quite ephemeral.” ※ note to the reader How long could an idea last anyway?
28
is this l if e j u s t a n i llusion? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, how come The Three Lineages of Buddhism hold that this life is but an illusion (maya)?”
On this occasion, Master Grasshopper responded not with words, instead, he powerfully struck the cenobite hard on the back of the head with a bamboo stick. “Ouch! That hurt!” “Why on earth do you complain?” Wisecracked Master Grasshopper. “It’s just an illusion!” From that moment on, the cenobite lived his existence as if it were the realest thing in the entire world. ※ note to the reader Could anything other than this… “illusion”, legitimately concern the cenobite?
29
ov e r pow e rin g th e mind (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, how is one to control the mind? Years of living by the precepts and worthy meditation have led me nowhere.” “Simply let it be.” “But… it is way too rebellious!” “There! You have controlled it.”
30
w he r e l ie s d e s tiny? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, The Way of Zen… where does it take us?”
“Right back to the start.” The cenobite awoke and forever lost sight of The Way of Zen. ※
note to the reader The cenobite was able to unriddle the essence of the words of Master Grasshopper: Zen is slain before it begins, and it begins where it always ends.
31
re m ai ni n g n o w h e re (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, please, I need some reassurance! Long decades of practicing Zen have gotten me nowhere.”
“Reassurance for what?!” Replied Master Grasshopper in anger. “From the beginning, your only task has been to remain nowhere.” “Oh… and how am I to stay there?” Asked the cenobite, feeling awfully ashamed. “By getting rid of your ‘long decades of practicing Zen.’” “But, how?!” “By having no place.” ※ note to the reader Master Grasshopper was certainly speaking figuratively when he answered: “by having no place”. In a wide variety of philosophies, “having no place”(epoche) is a permanent state of discovery, and to discover, all processed knowledge must temporarily be put aside so that one is left with pure awareness, that is to say, the immediate reality experience.
32
But, is there a place where the immediate reality experience could possibly remain?! The natural answer to this question would most likely be: “in the mind”. However, if we understand the mind as the constant relationship between our awareness and the existent, then, the mind that once was could no longer be in the mind that now is. So, “by having no place”, after all, means to give no place to preconceived ideas of the existent that could possibly compromise the clarity of the immediate reality experience. Zen philosophy aspires to remain nowhere, for “nowhere” is where we can intimately relate to the world. But be aware! Once “nowhere” becomes a place, you will strive hard, very hard, like the cenobite, to be able to keep going back to that manufactured and ridiculous spot many refer to as “the present”.
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sel f - r e a l i z a t io n (koan)
B
odhidharma, while in a state of extreme confusion, resolved to go to the abode of the only true sage of that whole region:
“Master Grasshopper,” howled Bodhidharma upon noticing him, “how am I to attain self-realization?!” “Are you kidding me? It is the simplest thing in the world!” Responded Master Grasshopper burlesquing Bodhidharma’s need. “You should be ashamed of yourself for being so distracted. As anyone in their right mind would know, self-realization could never be attained in the presence of a self, just as it would be utterly impossible to attain in the absence of a self. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve said enough for today.” ※ note to the reader Bodhidharma was indeed distracted. But it wasn’t because he did not know how to attain self-realization (that was never the crux of the matter), instead, it was because he failed to heed to what truly concerned his human experience, thus becoming just another metaphysical animal who lives to rise above what is genuinely relevant to its human experience.
34
Self-realization… bah! More likely to dream of Mount Fuji Absent the winter white.
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th e m e a n in g o f l if e (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what is the meaning of life?” “Have you noticed: the peach blossom spring!”
“Master…” “Ah! Yes, the meaning of life, sorry. You see, in your case, it most likely holds the same meaning as that of your question.” The cenobite gritted his teeth and walked away, extremely unpleased. ※ note to the reader So, what was the significance of the cenobite’s question? Well, in order to find that out, we must first figure out what were his intentions for asking such a question. And, just in case we were to go a step further and would like to figure out the meaning of our own life, we should probably ask ourselves the same thing: what are our intentions?
36
the B ud d h a s … w hat a re th e y g o od for? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what are the Buddhas for?”
Surprisingly, Master Grasshopper was caught off guard on this occasion, and for a long while, he hadn’t a reasonable enough answer. It wasn’t before much consideration, that he finally broke his silence: “They have been great at telling things that no one could ever know.” “I see, Master. What about enlightenment?” This time Master Grasshopper answered without hesitation: “Enlightenment is ideal for people who boast of knowing the quintessence of what the Buddhas have told.” Ironically enough, the cenobite became enlightened right there and then.
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th e hig h e s t tru th (koan)
“V truth.”
enerable Master Grasshopper, I am only passing through these lands of great tradition in the hope of the highest
“You will leave here empty-handed.” Replied Master Grasshopper with indifference to the quest of that wandering seeker. “Venerable Master Grasshopper, please! Share something of spiritual value with me, anything! I have traveled over a hundred leagues just to get here.” “Time contains no mind, mind holds no time, though how on earth could they be separated?” Sure enough, the wandering seeker left the lands of great tradition empty-handed, yet as happy as could be. ※ note to the reader Was the message conveyed by Master Grasshopper of any importance at all? It seems as if the wandering seeker was so eager to receive any spiritual word that he could have been told pretty much anything along those lines and still would have parted more than fulfilled. 38
“Time contains no mind, mind holds no time, though how on earth could they be separated?” What in the world is that supposed to mean?!
39
sh h h!. . . th e v o id (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, is it true that the void…?” “Zip it!” Abruptly interrupted Master Grasshopper.
“Master, have I said something wrong?!” “Only a fool would speak of such idiocies.” “But Master... the Buddha himself spoke of…” “All Buddhist texts ought to be burned!!!” Broke in once again Master Grasshopper. “But… fine! If you wish for us to speak of the void, so be it. However, you must first prove yourself capable of such a task. Please, show me the void, free of space and time.” “But Master, is that even possible?” “If you do not know, then how in the world are you expecting to discuss the void, you imbecile?!” The cenobite walked away without saying another word…emptier than ever.
40
fig ur in g o u t t h e “I ” (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, in the end, what am I?”
“Well, at least you did not start out looking for a ‘who.’ You are, now that I think about it, the paradox of individual existence: you can’t be found within, and yet it is impossible to find you without. You seem to be independent, in a world of interdependence. Your life efforts amount to nothing, though effortlessly, you are equal with all things. You pretend to direct the course of destiny when you can’t even choose what thoughts to think! All in all, you are a universal ‘what.’” The cenobite, honoring the paradox that he was, not only overcame the “who”, but also left behind the “what”, that he once was.
41
re a l ity is . . .
W
hen asked about Reality, Master Grasshopper, with a slightly aggressive stance, and force, usually says: “Reality is neither mental nor physical. It would be completely absurd for the mind to think it has thought Reality, just as it would be impossible for physicality alone to amount to It either. Nevertheless, ironic as it may seem, without the mind, and absent the physicality, Reality could never be. Or, could it?”
42
w o r thle s s b ea u ty (koan)
O
ne late winter morning, Master Grasshopper happened to be strolling about the peach blossom spring, when suddenly he caught a glimpse of a group of faithful monks who were devoting themselves entirely to the sacred texts. Master Grasshopper did not care to avoid his sardonic motives, and towards them, he went: “What are you bunch of inconsolable spiritual freaks doing here? Do you hope to gain something out of nothing?” “Master, we fill our hearts, as needed, with the beautiful and divine message of our Lord Buddha.” “For crying out loud! Are you still seriously given over to the ‘beauty’ that never is?! Don’t you hope to be awakened?!” “We do, Master.” “Then follow me. I will bring you into town and show you the beauty that always is. Together we will make a hundred toasts, drink the finest rum, and sing and sleep to a delicate woman’s voice.” The monks, panic-stricken, looked at each other trusting someone would know what to say. “You fools take pride in suppressing the pleasures of sensory experience,” carried on Master Grasshopper, “and expect to be one 43
day compensated for your pledge to austerity. Is that the best your sacred books have to offer? You truly are a laughingstock: not only are you inconsolable, but you are also inconsolably austere. Anyhow, keep on treasuring the ‘beauty’ of your texts: esteem what is never here. And since you’re obviously incapable of taking interest in my proposal, there’s no further need of me here.” ※ note to the reader What is of more importance: to find one’s place amongst the ten thousand things, or to enjoy oneself, carefree, amongst the ten thousand things? To indulge oneself, or to realize oneself? To search for the meaning of life, or to give life any meaning one wishes?
44
w hat d o es it m ean to e x i st? (koan)
“M
aster, what does it mean to exist?”
the ground:
Master Grasshopper struck his staff vigorously against
“Nothing is left to say.” The cenobite walked away quite satisfied. Free from descriptions… full of existence. ※ note to the reader A trillion words would not suffice to explain one’s existence: some things are meant to be explained, others are purposed to be experienced. Master Grasshopper, and in general all Zen lore, abhors entertaining acolytes by describing things that to be understood, must simply be lived. Likewise, descriptions come to an end the moment they are assumed, so how could one give a definite description of something that is continually being lived? Besides, how could Master Grasshopper possibly have known the meaning of the cenobite’s existence? Doesn’t everyone have their own life to live? 45
som e - th in g ins te ad o f n o -th in g (koan)
O
ne winter night, during the blackest hours, the cenobite found himself lost in deep meditation somewhere within the gardens of the priory. Master Grasshopper, noticing his enchanted presence, decided to approach him with provocative intentions aimed at probing his conscious attention: “Why is there some-thing instead of no-thing?!” Shouted Master Grasshopper into the cenobite’s ear whilst perturbing his most profound meditation. “Because that is what I know.” Replied the cenobite peacefully and without hesitation. “Leave! Now!” Ordered Master Grasshopper. “There is no place for you here.” ※ note to the reader At any moment did the cenobite speculate. He did not care to answer with preconceived terms, nor did he give any mystical or metaphysical references to evade the truth of the matter, he merely responded by means of the only possible reality to which he could relate. In the end, the cenobite behaved most rationally: “It exists because such is my experience.” 46
Master Grasshopper, being rarely surprised, was stunned to hear the cenobite’s response and had no other choice but to forever banish him from the spiritual ways.
47
th e m ain p u rp o s e (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, the ancient sages presumed a myriad of unearthly reasons for being alive, and they all claimed to be right! But, how can I be sure that there is an actual purpose to my existence?” “That’s easy! You will find out as soon as you can realize that which can never be thought. Nevertheless, you don’t need to worry so much about that, if you cannot accomplish this particular task, it will suffice for you to have a glimpse of the uncreated. The cenobite, after years of painstaking efforts, ended up becoming just another transcendental mortal (what an oxymoron!), as did all the ancient sages. ※ note to the reader When looking for the purpose of one’s life, it is always easy to fall into “the transcendental trap”, for only a metaphysical creature can stop giving much thought to that. Master Grasshopper offered the cenobite two impossible tasks, just as impossible as the ultimate answer he sought. But the latter
48
was unable to break through the impossibility of such tasks, instead, he became of a different nature: the transcendental one. In the end, it would have been much easier if Master Grasshopper had simply told the cenobite that “the purpose of life” has to be created day-to-day, and is therefore prone to ineffable change. Why didn’t he just say that?! When the ancient sages spoke of the purpose of life, they referred to places distant to human nature, inaccessible to our physicality, and far removed from these earthly places: What was their day-today all about?
49
wh o w a s b o rn to be hap p y? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I usually hear people say that we are meant to be happy. Is it true? If so, how can we be so sure?”
“First off, what makes you people so sure that you are meant to be at all?” “Well, Master, some speak of the subtle Mind.” “Then there is your answer! What could possibly come between your existence, your happiness, and ‘the subtle Mind’, right?” ※ note to the reader Insane anthropocentrism! Are humans supposed to be this special creature that suddenly popped up so that it could be happy? (Let us laugh!) Master Grasshopper challenges one of the central pillars of Buddhism: the subtle Mind. Which, according to this particular lore, allows the human species to become enlightened, to overcome the ego, to transcend this “illusory experience”, to beat suffering, and a bunch of other… stuff.
50
But, Master Grasshopper, loyal as he is to the Nothing-to-teachnothing-to-learn Zen experience, hopes that the cenobite will realize that there is most likely nothing substantial separating him from the ten thousand things. So, if humanity came about to transcend and be happy, why not an owl or a leech? Though, yet again, why didn’t Master Grasshopper just tell the Cenobite that happiness is just another part of living? If only he wasn’t so loyal to the Zen experience!
51
th e be gin n i n g of e ve r y re a l ity (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, how am I to capture the essence of reality?”
Master Grasshopper, who found himself resting on the summit of The Tanggula Mountains, appeared utterly disinterested in the cenobite’s query and continued to repose without saying a single word. Long hours passed, and the cenobite showed not the slightest intention of going anywhere without an answer. After a couple of days, Master Grasshopper began to grow impatient, hence decided, more out of pity than anything else, to respond by throwing a tiny rock into the depths of the valley in the hope that it would suffice to quench the cenobite’s metaphysical thirst. “I saw it!” Uttered the cenobite. “What’s it like?” Replied Master Grasshopper while not being exactly sure of what the cenobite was referring to. “Is the reflection of the emptiness of the valley turned into sound.” “So, you did see the sound?!” “Of course! How nice it is to witness the echo adorning the void.” 52
“In that case, could you please allow me to rest? You have just interacted with the void, beginning of all realities, what more do you need to know?”
53
th e be tt er u s e of M r . Ga u t a m a ’ s word s (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, how can I best interpret the words of our Lord Buddha?”
“Beautiful question! You’ll need to tear out the pages of The Pali Canon and use them all as toilet roll. That is indeed the most beautiful interpretation you can give to the sermons of our Lord Buddha.” But, despite Master Grasshopper’s advice, the cenobite was determined to keep trying to figure out the deepest meaning of Mr. Gautama’s words before deciding to use them as toilet roll. The only problem is… he’s getting old. ※ note to the reader Master Grasshopper was only trying to rid the cenobite of the weighty influence that the Buddha’s sermons had on his relationship with life. In the grasshopper realm, it is said that the awakening of intelligence comes with one’s liberation from all established ways. Mr. Gautama’s words as toilet roll: Buddhism solved! 54
b etwe e n rea l ity a nd the mi n d (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, is there any relationship between reality and the mind?”
“Sure. The moment you blink, it’s gone!” “Master, my only reality: a pink chrysanthemum before my eyes.”
The cenobite realized the only possibility between reality and the mind: The immediate world. ※ note to the reader The moment you try to discern, unravel, pinpoint or explain the connection between reality and the mind, it is always too late!
55
wh a t’ s a f ter d e a th? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, please, save me from this hardship. I need to know what comes after death!”
“Very simple! Death is always followed by another stupid thought.” The cenobite, thinking that he was being made fun of, decided to leave the side of Master Grasshopper for good. But it was only shortly before his death that he was able to understand his misunderstanding and see the foolery of his life’s hardship. ※ note to the reader “After death” is nothing more than a thought. Knowing this, Master Grasshopper spoke frankly to the cenobite and let him know that what follows “death” is, naturally, another silly thought. Therefore “after death” can never be more than an idea, unless of course, someone can speak of it through personal experience.
56
a unive rs a l “o n e ”? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, am I one with the universe?” “And zero and ten and a gazillion!”
“But Master, is it not a misguiding illusion to see ourselves as something separate from the manifested universe?” “Indeed, just as it would be a childish chimera to see ourselves as ‘one’ with the unmanifested universe.” It is said within the Zen lore, that soon after this encounter the cenobite stopped seeing himself as part of all things, without actually feeling separate from all things. ※ note to the reader Had Master Grasshopper responded with an affirmative statement, the cenobite would have thought he had grasped an impenetrable mystery by simply giving the manifested universe a romantic, spiritual, convincing, and inclusive description: “one”, thus falling into a conceptual trap. In his response, Master Grasshopper accentuates the hopelessness of the cenobite’s ambition to capture a universal reality by
57
means of a number. In any case, embracing a number could never introduce anyone to any reality. However, had Master Grasshopper answered with a negative statement, the cenobite would have been dissatisfied (grasshoppers always say that humans can’t do without an answer) and would have continued his hopeless query.
58
u nde r s ta n d in g Z en (koan)
“M
aster, how is one to understand The Way of Zen?”
“It’s really quite simple!” Answered Master Grasshopper. “But first, you should not care to understand it, otherwise, you’ll have to be born again, but not in the human shape! Instead, in the form of a Sakura tree.” The cenobite lived on for the rest of his days like a weeny mouse that longed to become a beast.
59
be f o r e o u r o rig in s (koan)
“V
enerable Master Grasshopper, from where do we come?”
“Right out of nowhere.” Replied Master Grasshopper unhesitatingly. “But Master, every universal unfoldment must have a birthplace.” “I see what you are saying: Some-where necessarily implies somewhere else. Well, if we were to speak sincerely about the origins of any-thing or any-one, we would have to be able to locate the beginning of all beginnings, long before the first universe could even be named, and last time I checked, that was nowhere to be found.” The cenobite was left completely discouraged. He wandered off… straight to nowhere.
60
m a s te r in g th e mind (koan)
“H
ey you! Remnant of The Twelve Buddhas. How can you be sure that you have not wasted your whole life reciting sutras and following the 227 Bhikkhu precepts?” Inquired Master Grasshopper, so as to compromise the relevance of the cenobite’s reality. “Master, from the time of my early years I have chosen to live a sacred life. As far back as I can remember, I have but faithfully honored the noble eightfold path, and, not to mention, it is thanks to an honest practice of austerity, silence, and meditation, that I have learned to master my mind. So, how could I have possibly wasted any bit of my life?” “You have learned to master your mind! That’s something. Could you please show me?” “How?!” “Easy! By producing an empty thought. * It is said that after the previous encounter, the cenobite forgot all about the eightfold path and never spoke of meditation again. Some even claim that during the last years of his life he was found drinking and dancing in the village’s most notorious taverns.
61
of the m o s t i m p o r tant thing (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, in this life, what is the most important thing?”
“Ah! The most important thing. It has to be asking yourself: ‘What is the most important thing?’ And finding no answer.” The cenobite was pleased to hear about the most important thing, about which he never got an answer. ※ note to the reader If not this, that, or the other, then no human thought will ever be able to conquer “the most important thing,” and we’ll be left to wonder at the totality of things.
62
o ve r c o m in g t h e ego? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I have spent most of my life trying to rid myself of the insidious ego, but I am beginning to wear myself out. Could it be that this is, in fact, an impossible task?” “More than that! It makes absolutely no sense. Overcoming the ego is an occupational therapy for existential idiots: those who walk around feeling perfectly imperfect due to their self-ishness.”
“Stop! Listening to you makes me feel even more hopeless. Isn’t there something you could actually do for me?!” “Fine! But first, show me that darn ego! I need to see it.” “What?! Where am I supposed to find it? And how am I supposed to show it to you?” “Well done. You may now leave.” ※ note to the reader The more attention and care you give to the illusion of “the ego”, the more real it becomes, and the more energy you will have to invest in it. Trying to get rid of an idea is an endless, vicious cycle. Want to be unselfish by overcoming the “I”? Selfish try! 63
Ze n voi ce s o f n a ture (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I have brought love and compassion to the four corners of the world and have always honored the noble eightfold path in my every action. I have understood and memorized the Buddha’s Words to perfection, and thus I have been able to penetrate into the nature of the mind, space, and time. My consciousness never wanders, and my awareness always rests in the present moment. Yet the world does not seem to acknowledge my tireless devotion and unwavering benevolence! And you, puny insect, who does nothing but stroll about the grasslands, are considered a sage!” “Hmm… Do not be so easily fooled by the devotional voices; nowadays even the representatives of the spiritual world are taken for wise men! Besides, anyone who thinks that of me is most likely desperately seeking comfort in superior truths, you know, the kind of truths that always fall short of reality. But you, exemplary cenobite, why come to me when having so many noble truths guiding your every action?” “Master, in spite of the unprofaned life I have led, never have I been appreciated for what I really am! Why do I have such luck?” Cried the cenobite low-spiritedly.
64
“I couldn’t tell you. I have never been concerned with such intricacies. Unlike you, I have never troubled myself with following the right path, nor have I ever bothered to heed a single word the Buddha supposedly said. I honestly don’t give two hoots about being good or what the spiritual bums think or say. But you… Do you see how being an ‘exemplary devotee’ has brought you absolutely no freedom? Even worse: you are a slave to the meaningless approval of others!” “Master, not only am I not free, but I also feel completely useless. What is it I have to learn?! What path is it I need to take?!” “Unfortunately for you, anything I tell you will be of very little use. What I can do, however, is to share with you what I have always heard from the voices of the grasslands: ‘Impossible to be of use by boasting of what you think you have become. The wise man is always aware of the importance of bringing to the fore the beauty of all the things that he is not.’” The cenobite now frequently wanders the grasslands, hoping to find the correct path.
65
th e unma s k i n g of hum a n e x is t e n ce (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what is the true reason for our human existence?”
“Precisely this: you being here this morning, asking me what is the true reason for your human existence.” Both of them burst out laughing, and the cenobite left without a single concern.
66
the no n s en s e o f the B ud d ha (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what is the importance of the Buddha?”
“Ah, the Buddha! None other than the one he deserves: six letters forming a word.” The cenobite left, and along with him, transcendental expectations. ※ note to the reader The cenobite was troubled by the need for the Buddha to be of absolute importance, but when Master Grasshopper reduced his significance to basically nothing, the monk was unexpectedly relieved of a very heavy, and most unnecessary, conceptual burden.
67
th e pa th l e s s p a th (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, to become enlightened and transcend these worldly lands, which is the correct path?”
“In such cases, follow only a path that’s able to take you nowhere.” The cenobite failed to grasp the message behind Master Grasshopper’s response and continues until the date, on the right path to enlightenment. ※ note to the reader “Follow only a path that’s able to take you nowhere”, in other words, a path that holds no existential truths to come. Master Grasshopper’s laconic reply was enough to admonish the cenobite to focus solely on the place that no path could ever lead him (existentially speaking, of course): immediate reality. Similarly, Master Grasshopper tries to elucidate to the cenobite how existence is but a koan that can only be solved right under our feet. Human’s existential tragedy: a million ways, so far from here. 68
the e s s en c e o f th e t en t h o us an d t hi n g s (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I dream of resting on the essence of the uncreated world and the ten thousand things.”
“Extinguish all that you have acquired through self-contemplation!!! That is the only way!” Retorted Master Grasshopper. From then on, the cenobite forgot all about Zazen and self-contemplation: he now looks, primarily, in the opposite direction. ※ note to the reader When focusing on our self, we are confined, so to speak, to a very limited and minuscule dimension. But when we look in the other direction, we open ourselves to the unlimited universal width. Master Grasshopper says that it is always good to leave the center, which never actually is, and forget all about the point of equilibrium, which never really exists.
69
an n i hil a tin g s el f -i de ntity (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, while at the top of Mount Koyasan and near the maturity of the winter season, I was able to recognize the poetic dwellers of the timeless times. I used to go through life with such high morale, boasting of being eternal! But when I saw them, I felt so distant to the timelessness that houses the evanescent times of all things that lie between earth and sky.” “You must dwell nowhere!” Hollered Master Grasshopper. “And be like that wacky poet who traveled these lands expecting to reach no place. I think some used to call him Bashō.” The cenobite was able to put eternity aside, but his spiritual zeal was such that he could never penetrate the impenetrable reality of the poetic dwellers of the timeless times. ※ note to the reader Self-identity means time, so much time! Heck, all the time in the world! Thus, how could the cenobite ever relate to the poetic dwellers of the timeless times? The Zen masters of ancient times used to say that he who dwells nowhere is free from having to abide in the self. In other words, to dwell nowhere means not to cling to any idea, concept, or place. 70
fa ste r th a n th e mind ? (koan)
A
fter many long and tiring years of searching for Master Grasshopper, Bodhidharma, the First Patriarch of the Chinese Zen lineage, finally came upon the grasslands where the little sage dwelt: “Venerable Master, I have faithfully honored the noble eightfold path throughout my life in my every action; where I’m from, people hold me dearly and always speak of me as a compassionate and righteous man. My meditative practice is exactly as the ancient masters described it: I become one with the ten thousand things. But, alas, despite abandoning myself to a life of purity, the ego still troubles me.” “As long as your mind acts first, you will never be good enough to overcome the misfortunes of the ego.” These were the only words Master Grasshopper ever spoke to Bodhidharma. Poor First Patriarch of the Chinese Zen lineage. After that day, he spent his nights wondering how he could be faster than the mind. ※ note to the reader By striving to overcome the ego, Bodhidharma only strengthened the presence of the idea of the ego in his mind. The more you think of something, the more it becomes real to you. Isn’t that obvious? 71
Asking Bodhidharma to be faster than the mind was Master Grasshopper’s way of saying that it would be utterly impossible to overcome the burdens of the ego as long as that thought existed in him.
72
l oo k no t in th e p re se nt (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, where lies the fountain of self-discovery?” Asked the cenobite at the end of a life devoted solely to this question. “Great question!” Answered Master Grasshopper enthusiastically. “All you have to do is not to look for it in the present moment. Then, with a little luck, you will find it.” *** The until then cenobite returned his kasaya (Buddhist robe) to the sacred world. Recently, some monks claimed to have seen him strolling joyously about the monastery gardens right at the hour of sitting meditation. Before immediate reality, a self to be discovered? A thousand leaf clover!
73
th e w a y l es s w a y o f Ze n (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper!” Cried the cenobite indignantly. “How is it that The Great Way of Zen is for humans only?! Could it be that other species and the “inanimate” world are considered inferior? Or is it perhaps that they are not worthy of holding the same aspirations?” “First of all,” snapped back Master Grasshopper, “who are you to speak of The Great Way of Zen?” “Master, I have walked The Way by your side throughout my life!” “What way?! My life has always been ruled by the ordinary world. I fear, enthusiastic cenobite, that you have wasted your existence. Not only because you hoped to gain something by staying near me, but also because you thought you could travel The Great Way of Zen. Need I remind you that it cannot be walked as long as there is a walker willing to walk it? The Great Way of Zen can only be experienced in the absence of an experiencer.” The cenobite became extremely upset and decided to leave the side of Master Grasshopper immediately. But he had nowhere to go, so he just walked aimlessly in the opposite direction. Could it be that the cenobite finally came to enjoy The Great Way of Zen, inadvertently? 74
※ note to the reader Zen is never a path to be followed. It is neither a conceptual scheme nor a system of symbolic representations designed to bring existential relief. Zen is, if anything, an anti-philosophical philosophy, for its aim is never to remain in people’s minds as a concept or truth; on the contrary, it always intends to be destroyed by the Immediate Reality Experience.
75
spir itual in s a n i ty (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, is it possible to arrive at a universal understanding of things?”
“How would you use it?” “Sorry, Master, I don’t understand.” “For what do you need a universal understanding of things?!”
“You see, Master, I would like to better understand the uncreated world and the ten thousand things.” “Oh dear, you wouldn’t know what to do with such an understanding! Leave me alone… You don’t need it!” ※ note to the reader To enjoy being human, we require but human traits. Then why has humanity struggled so much to go beyond the (mainly cognitive) capabilities of its species? Spiritual insanity: see what the eyes cannot; relish eternal motives, walk from this fading world. 76
w ho or w h a t is res p onsi b le fo r thi s c re a ti o n ? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, how did this universe come into existence? Was there someone or something in charge of its creation?” “See that lizard over there, sitting in the scorching sun?” Replied Master Grasshopper sardonically. “I see it, Master.” “Then please go and inquire of the lizard about the beginnings of this universe.” “But Master! How could the brain of a petty lizard conceive something as majestic as the birth of this universe?!” Asked the bewildered cenobite. “That is precisely what I wonder about you, and the rest of humankind.” The cenobite awakened to the Zen Art of Not Knowing.
77
no ne e d to b e c o m p a s s i o n ate (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I must confess to you that I sometimes act and feel as if others in this world were of less importance than myself. Please tell me, how can I be more compassionate?” “Extinguish all your compassionate desires! Instead, practice indifference.” Answered Master Grasshopper, sure of his advice. Incredibly enough, Master Grasshopper was able to eradicate the thought process through which the I-Others dualism sprouted in the cenobite’s mind. ※ note to the reader “Practice indifference”! In other words, let go of your ambition to be compassionate toward others and forget the hypothetical desire of others that you be compassionate towards them. Allow the spontaneity of the nature of each circumstance to manifest itself, and act accordingly; there is nothing more selfless than that. Otherwise, compassion can become a huge burden, and, not to mention, it can also be an extremely selfish pursuit (paradoxically as it may sound). (This last statement comes not from Master Grasshopper, but from me, the author of the book: a former prisoner of the need to be compassionate… all the time!) 78
o ve r c o m in g d e a th (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, after death… What comes after death?”
“After death, comes the end of the living. But why should you be concerned about that? Just stop being part of the living already, then you won’t have to worry about the repercussions of death.” “But Master! How am I supposed to do that?” The Cenobite asked, completely confused. “By dying before death comes! Never forget that ‘the living’ is only a fluke of the uncreated world.” ※ note to the reader Once again, an impossible answer to an impossible question.
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wh a t Z en is n o t (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I have heard some bitter voices say that Zen is just another form of indoctrination.”
“As long as you bear a mental representation of Zen, they are more than right! But I don’t suppose you hold any mental images of Zen, so worry not about such hearsay.” Unfortunately, despite the cenobite’s subsequent formidable efforts, he was never able to rid his mind of his many ideas of Zen. ※ note to the reader Zen cannot be translated into books, nor can it be put into words; it simply cannot be contained in anyone’s mind! Zen is nothing but the arising of that which is, and that which is not. Zen is: This morning’s dew echoing the fishermen’s early tunes, anew.
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o n the s a c re d texts (koan)
O
ne morning in The Peach Blossom Spring, Master Grasshopper caught a glimpse of a young cenobite completely given over to the sacred texts while surrounded by a sea of corollas of a springlike pink: “Why are you so absent-minded, young cenobite?” “Nay, Master! Anything but absent-minded! I am mesmerized by the spiritual wisdom of the texts dictated by the ancient sages.” “So you think those archaic men stand out against this morning’s hues of pink!” “Master, they are impossible to compare! The ancient sages are of sacred magnitude!” “In that case, I hope they’ll be able to help you when there is nothing left to compare.”
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fig ur ing o u t e tern ity (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, are we truly eternal?”
“What do you take me for?!” Answered Master Grasshopper angrily. “Only an idiot with a spiritual mind would claim to know anything about eternity! Who else would be able to ‘relate’ to such a reality?” “Forgive me, Master. It was never my intention to aggravate you. I only pretend to know what will become of me.” “You’ll have to figure that out for yourself! Or are you just another one of those acolytes who rely on the testimony of others?!” “But Master, how could I possibly bring to light a mystery of the like?” “Thought is incapable of grasping the nature of time, so… get rid of it at once! Also, forget about verbalizing everything you see: concepts only keep us away from that which is. All in all, you need to be able to recognize eternity without the intrusion of the mind.” Master Grasshopper’s words caused the cenobite to lose his marbles. And it was thus, in the midst of his madness, that the cenobite became free from all Zen intricacies.
82
※ note to the reader Without thought, what was ever born? Absent the mind, where goes time?
83
ba r e l y e x is tin g (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, it has been over twenty years since I devoted myself entirely to spiritual contemplation. I have given over most of my days to a humble meditative practice, and have immersed myself in the Buddhist sutras with respect beyond compare. Never have I drunk, never have I smoked, never have I gambled. I eat only what’s needed, I sleep only the hours required, and I harm not a single sentient being. And (!), needless to say, I have honored each one of the sixteen Bodhisattva precepts.” “You are about to make me gag. Vomit your Zen-insides out!!!” Shouted Master Grasshopper, compromising the relevance of the cenobite’s entire life. “I do not understand, Master. Am I mistaken?! I thought I had lived an exemplary life.” “Tell me just one thing: why do you do everything you do?” “Master, I hope to be awakened and never to be reborn.” “What a shame. It is now too late for you to understand.” “What do you mean, Master?” “That you forgot to live, and now… now you barely exist.” 84
※ note to the reader What a funny thing it is: existing in excess, can keep us from living.
85
aw ak e nin g : a l w a y s an a c c id en ta l h a p pe ning (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I have been by your side for as long as I can remember, but I am now in my declining years and still you have not shared the essence of the ten thousand things with me.” The cenobite scolded. “I am utterly baffled by your accusation.” Replied Master Grasshopper. “Let me remind you that each day, at teatime, I greeted you with the friendliest of gestures. And, not to mention, every time I returned to the monastery gardens, I greeted you with the friendliest of gestures. Is there something of greater importance I could have shared?” “At this point, I couldn’t care less! I have had enough of you: I am sick of your questions and all of your friendly gestures! I’m getting out of here… You have not helped me solve anything in all these years!” The cenobite left the side of Master Grasshopper dismissing all of the existential concerns that had once given meaning to his life. Never again did he look back on the spiritual being he once was. He lived his last days enjoying the hustle and bustle of his birthplace and made a living reciting Zen poetry in the town’s infamous taverns. He was then truly awakened (!): free of all existential concerns. 86
b or n to d ie th o u ghts (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, why are we, sentient beings, born to die? Is there any purpose in that?”
“The purpose is quite beautiful and clear: there comes a thought, there goes a thought.” The cenobite spent many long years trying to unriddle Master Grasshopper’s response, adding thus more inconsequential thoughts to the born to die list.
87
un thi nk a b l e th o u g hts (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, with so many practices, traditions, and spiritual teachers around the world, how is one to find the right path to realizing the authentic selfless self?” “You and your always ridiculous questions! It’s about time you find another generous benefactor.” Replied Master Grasshopper sleepily, as he rested under a cherry tree. “But now that you have disturbed my sleep, I might as well tell you that the authentic selfless self is only to be discovered amid unthinkable thoughts.” The cenobite walked away muttering imprecations at Master Grasshopper, without a thought for the unthinkable thoughts. ※ note to the reader An unthinkable thought is only possible for a mind free of all thinkable thoughts… would that be a mind at all? Perhaps Master Grasshopper’s earlier reply was just another way of letting the cenobite know that his intentions were indeed mind-less. And judging by the cenobite’s mutterings, he probably did get the message after all.
88
d isr e g a rd in g Z a ze n (koan)
“S
top chasing after ideals!” Said Master Grasshopper to the cenobite, just before leaving the monastery gardens for good. ***
Some twenty years later, Master Grasshopper happened to be promenading near the monastery gardens where he had once befriended a young and determined cenobite. He recalled the last words he said to the young monk just before leaving the greenery of that sacred place and couldn’t help but wonder if he had actually unraveled the essence of his exhortation. Master Grasshopper decided to enter the grounds of the monastery and see for himself. He began looking in the refectory, but there was no sign of anyone being there; he then looked in the dormitories, the tearoom, the kitchen, and at last, fearing the worst, he entered the meditation shala. There sat the cenobite (!), absorbed in devotional meditation. “What in the world are you still doing here?!” Master Grasshopper barged in without warning. The cenobite did not react in any way to the sound of Master Grasshopper’s voice, by then he was already an expert in mastering 89
the movements of the mind. It wasn’t until the end of his Zazen practice that he finally heeded his old master’s words: “Master Grasshopper! I faithfully follow the guidance you once gave me: I practice to overcome ideals!” Master Grasshopper broke into laughter right there and then, disregarding both the cenobite’s efforts and the sacredness of the place. He was never seen in the monastery again. ※ note to the reader Poor cenobite, he understood so little. Did he really think he could escape the delusion of ideals by simply sitting on another hopeful ideal (Zazen)?
90
a b s e nt m o m en ts (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, to overcome the mental distress caused by the realization of our impermanent nature, must we dwell in the present moment?” “Not at all!!! The present moment is most impermanent. Dwell only in the absent moments; they will always be contrary to your impermanent nature.” The cenobite ceased to worry about the present moments, and present he became. One could probably guess that he managed to unriddle Master Grasshopper’s sardonic advice and thus recognized impermanence as the absent moment par excellence. ※ note to the reader Master Grasshopper once said: Only an absent mind is in need of the present moment.
91
th e i m po s s ib il i ty of m e di ta tio n (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, countless traditions boast of the spiritual goods that can be obtained by putting their meditation techniques into practice. With so many of them, how is one to choose correctly?” “Know that a well-established meditation technique can barely provide customary goods. If truth be told, meditation can only take place in the absence of all meditative efforts. In this regard, Seng T’san, the third Chinese patriarch of Zen, once said: ‘All efforts to control the movements of the mind could only lead to more movement.’” From that day on, the cenobite (what a character!) devoted himself to the practice of non-meditation. ※ note to the reader To believe that one can “practice” meditation is similar to believing that one can “practice” sleep. It’s an oxymoron! You can’t be sleeping and “practicing” at the same time.
92
a n e te r n a l th o u g ht? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, is there a way for us to better understand eternity?”
“Absolutely!” Answered Master Grasshopper. “You have only to experience eternity for yourself.” “But Master, how will I know that I am experiencing eternity?!” “When you are no longer part of the ten thousand things or the uncreated world, you will know for sure.” ※ note to the reader Not only is it naïve but is also very childish when we humans aspire to experience things that are far beyond the reach of our conscious intellection. Eternity (if it even exists) is not a reality we can consciously experience! Our human condition is not of infinite characteristics, so how could we possibly relate to an endless existence? Master Grasshopper once said: “Only those capable of creating an eternal thought can speak of eternity”. But what would an eternal thought look like? 93
th e or i g in o f a l l things (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper! The valley spirit, the peach-blossom spring, the starry skies above, the flower’s scent, life… where does it all come from?!” “First, would you be so kind as to tell me where your question comes from?” “Well… from in here, Master.” Said the cenobite pointing to his head. “In that case, you never have to worry about the origin of all things: they all come from in there.” Expressed Master Grasshopper satirically, pointing to the cenobite’s head. ※ note to the reader Neither Master Grasshopper nor anyone else (even though that’s what spiritual narcissism is all about) could be so irresponsible as to speak of the universal origin of the ten thousand things. In the previous koan, Master Grasshopper hopes to make the cenobite see that the observer cannot possibly be without the observed; consequently, his question could not exist without the flower’s scent, the starry skies above, and the peach-blossom spring. All in all, the 94
cenobite’s inquiry does not come from inside his head, as he foolishly pointed out, but from the interplay of the ten thousand things (his mind amongst them.)
95
g ive it b a c k to the s a c red t e x ts! (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, in order to achieve Self-realization…”
“Who or what gave it to you?!” Master Grasshopper rudely broke in. “Gave me what, Master?” “The Self!!! Where did you get the Self?!” “Well, according to the sacred texts…” “Give it back to the sacred texts!” Master Grasshopper interrupted once more. “You have no need for it!” The cenobite burned all of the sacred texts in the monastery and retreated to a solitary mountain with the aim of forgetting everything he had learned from them. About 25 years later, he suddenly reappeared in the monastery gardens: “Master, there was nothing to give back to the texts.” Master Grasshopper simply smiled. ※ note to the reader How liberating it must have been for the cenobite to find out that, after all, there wasn’t a “Self” to realize. 96
the l an g u a g e o f w hat i s (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, after faithfully meditating alongside the enlightened saints of this planet and penetrating the essence of all that exists, I am still dissatisfied. It seems I always have the need to know more and more about this existence… Why do I carry such a worrisome burden?” “Relax! All you have to do is relearn everything you have learned so far, only this time, in the appropriate language.” “And what language would that be, Master?” “A language incapable of penetrating the essence of all that exists.” ※ note to the reader Let’s face it: any oral tradition capable of revealing the essence of all that exists or solving the mysteries of human existence is too far removed from this earthly world. Master Grasshopper urges the cenobite to a language that corresponds to his human reality, a language that is always grounded in what is, and not in speculations about that which is not. 97
jus t a no th er a tte mp t to b e e te rn a l (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, the Chinese patriarchs of Zen argue that only the present moment is eternal.”
“They smell the rose before it has sprouted.”
Suddenly, the cenobite was no longer concerned with the supposed eternity of the present moment. He remained in the monastery for a few more years, though not to attain a higher state of consciousness anymore. He stayed only out of a desire to rejoice in the company of Master Grasshopper, to wake up to the paradisiacal sight of the cherry blossoms, and to enjoy a warm and cozy place during the winter frosts. ※ note to the reader The cenobite wished to inquire about eternity, but Master Grasshopper, oblivious to such matters, responded alluding to impermanence. Through such a terse reply, Master Grasshopper let the cenobite know that any teaching that distracts us from the simplicity of daily life, is never a reliable teaching. In this case, the idea of eternity deprived the cenobite of the clarity of immediate reality.
98
The present moment is not eternal. It is but a present idea while the thought of “the present” is in your mind! Besides, how could you smell a rose before it has sprouted?
99
wh o i s s p i ritu a l ? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what does it mean to be spiritual?”
“Ah! The epigones of existential faith and their frantic search for the answers of tomorrow! They really do think that the world is made-to-measure human understanding, and in the more ridiculous cases, these beings of light pretend to have worked out the riddles of destiny and believe that the universal unfolding somehow holds an interest in their deepest longings.” “Sadly, I know firsthand everything you are talking about, Master. Heck, not only do I know it, I live it! I am a being of light myself.” “Light born from light is a pathless path: immediate reality. Light born from darkness, that’s a lifelong path!” The cenobite awoke.
100
d on’ t us e t h e mind ! (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what can I do to get to know myself better and identify with what I really am?”
“With respect to self-knowledge, I can only tell you this: never, under any circumstances, make use of your mind; it will only get in the way.” *** The cenobite stopped giving much thought to self-knowledge and dedicated much of his life to trying to decipher his master’s advice. Many years passed, and with them the cenobite’s determination and strength. He never fully understood the words of Master Grasshopper. Presently, at the height of his senescence, the cenobite spends his time playing xiangqi and drinking baijiu amid the bustle of the village market. He can be heard singing in the wee hours of the morning as he stumbles home to catch some sleep.
101
elu c id a tin g d es tin y (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, is there a special destiny for each one of us?”
“Watch out!” Shouted Master Grasshopper, as he pointed to a spider running around the cenobite’s feet. “Kill it! It could be venomous!” The cenobite didn’t think twice before smashing the spider with a stick. “Great!” Master Grasshopper exclaimed. “You have fulfilled its destiny!” ※ note to the reader Could the fate of the cenobite be of greater importance than a spider on a stick?
102
fe d up w ith th e s er mons (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I’m sick of having to listen to sermons that claim to hold life’s deepest meanings.”
“Luckily, life’s deepest meanings are not something to be understood, but something to get used to. In fact, those who claim to give proof of life’s significance through their voices are as ridiculous as those who talk of the realities of death while still alive.” The cenobite freed himself from the fruitless world of conceptions and immersed himself in a life of experiences.
103
soo ths a y e rs , p ro p he sie rs, an d “ th e s o n o f g od ” (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what is your opinion on ‘the son of god’? He who, according to the annals of history, came to save us… humans.” “I could never make sense of his story.” Master Grasshopper promptly answered. “Could you at least tell me if his spiritual proclamations were real, Master?” “Unfortunately for you, the words of soothsayers and prophesiers have never been within my reach.” ※ note to the reader From the words of Master Grasshopper, we can infer that “the (mythological or not) son of god”, praised realities far beyond his time and age. In this respect, the ancient poets of Zen used to say: faraway truths always fall through the cracks of reality.
104
the r igh t tea c h er o f Ze n (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, before you go, could you at least tell me how am I to recognize the right teacher of Zen?”
“Of course!” Answered Master Grasshopper enthusiastically. “He will be the one who is not worth staying with. But, most importantly! The one who knows nothing more about your existence than you.” To this day, the cenobite is trying to imagine what that teacher might be like; he wouldn’t want to miss the chance to recognize him. Perhaps the cenobite will soon have a good enough image of him and finally embark on his quest. ※ note to the reader The knowers of existence! How funny they are: They hand out existential prescriptions as if we were all walking the same paths, living the same lives, seeing through the same minds, and striving for the same heights. (Could Master Grasshopper be a suitable teacher of Zen? I’m just asking. He has no need for disciples, nor does he care to teach about existence. If so, then why has the cenobite stayed by his side for so long?) 105
be tte r to l ive, or c e a s e to ex is t? (koan)
“Y
oung cenobite, come!” Ordered Master Grasshopper. “You, who out of your own will have always walked a spiritual path to avoid this earthly existence anew, tell me but one thing: is it more beautiful to live or to cease to exist?” “Master, I…” After a long and awkward silence, the cenobite blushed, not knowing what to say. “If you have no idea, then what the heck are you doing walking a spiritual path to posterity?!” ※ note to the reader If someone gives their life to posterity (existentially speaking, of course), they better be sure that ceasing to exist is the way to go. In this regard, Master Grasshopper once asked: How could someone make the best out of living while preparing for the great beyond?
106
e ve r y m ea n in g in the w orld (koan)
“C
enobite!” “Yes, Master.”
“Is there a meaning to life?” “It is impossible to know, Master. You said it yourself.” “Idiot!” Replied Master Grasshopper as he struck the cenobite on the back of the head with a keisaku stick. “Ouch!” The cenobite exclaimed. “I am but reaffirming your teaching, Master!” “Think for yourself!!!” “So, it is possible to know the meaning of life!” “Well, that depends. I, for example, can perceive many at this very moment.” “Which ones, Master?!” “Every meaning in the world!”
107
※ note to the reader Master Grasshopper tried encouraging the cenobite to dare give his life a unique and authentic meaning, a meaning of his own! (With any luck, one that would actually relate to the meaningness of his human reality). But just the opposite happened. The cenobite was eager to receive a meaning tailored to his existential greed, a bestowal that the clientele of spirituality constantly needs.
108
o ne with th e u n iv e rse , o r just o n e m o re? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, recently I have found myself completely absorbed by a mystical union with the universe while meditating. It is clear, Master, we are all one with the ten thousand things and the uncreated world.” “And two and three and four!” Master Grasshopper exclaimed. “But since you already know yourself undivided with the rest of all things, perhaps there is something you can help me solve.” “What is it, Master?” “Existentially speaking, how am I to distinguish oneness from a pure fluke?” The cenobite, exasperated, went back to the meditation hall. ※ note to the reader Pretending to have arrived at a universal understanding of things through altered states of consciousness (meditation in this case) is an old and hackneyed trick of the human mind. Let us call it: the conceptual “one” delusion.
109
It is widely accepted that altered states of consciousness can lead us to mystical experiences, in the sense that we have no words to describe them: something completely understandable. But what is not at all comprehensible is to relate such mystical experiences to a universal understanding by means of conceptions, as if our language were of boundless proportions. Besides, a mystical experience is just that: mystical!
110
is a ny o n e p e rf ec t? (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, how is it that no one is perfect in this world of sentient beings?”
“Because the ideals of sentient beings are often too far removed from sentient beings.” Answered Master Grasshopper. The cenobite later wondered about the existence of imperfection, but he didn’t dare ask.
111
on hum a n n a tu re (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, are we humans, good by nature?”
“Come, quick!” Shouted Master Grasshopper. “Look out the window! See the snow? Watch how gently it falls, though it seems to be unaware of the cherries on our trees! Alas, with the snow, they fall and freeze.” Comes the snow, cherries to-and-fro. How lovely and white both fall! The cenobite stopped giving much thought to the strange and mysterious nature of the ten thousand things. ※ note to the reader Some speak of human nature as if our entrails were a depository for good or bad inclinations, inclinations that someone or something apparently decided upon before we came into existence. Perhaps such voices could also enlighten us as to the true intentions of the white winter snow. 112
l ea r ni ng to ig n o re re ali ty (koan)
“M it?”
aster Grasshopper, I have to be honest with you: some days reality weighs heavily upon me. Is there any way to ignore
“Sure there is!” Replied Master Grasshopper. “I know of a brotherhood of transcendental beings who, in an effort to feel safe in the face of the uncertainties of the world, turn their backs on that which is.” “Master, at this stage I would do anything to overcome the hardships of reality. What is it I must do to turn my back on that which is?” “‘Look within’, they would recommend, and be as spiritual as you can!” ※ note to the reader They look deep deep “within”, and way way up “high”, no wonder they’re able to “transcend” their own lives.
113
ov e r c om in g t h e n ee d to o ve r co me th e ve il of e go (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, the want to always experience that humbling and liberating sensation of being free from all self-identity is compelling. Is it natural for me to always feel the need to overcome the veil of ego, Master? What would be the wisest way to proceed when faced with an existential dilemma of this magnitude?” “As far as I am concerned, it’s anything but natural for anyone to worry about the presence of an ego; it’s more a matter of romantic idealism and lack of understanding of the human phenomenon. And as for what the wisest way to proceed would be, it would most certainly be to overcome the need to overcome anything related to an ego.” Said Master Grasshopper. ※ note to the reader Giving one’s best efforts to overcome the ego-ideal would only further entrench said ideal. Is that not obvious enough? On the contrary, paying no heed to that burdensome thought… now that is a Zen-like pathless path!
114
b ef or e d ea th a rriv e s (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, before death arrives, is it important to leave behind a legacy that will…”
“Zip it!” Master Grasshopper interrupted. “You’ve got it all wrong! The only important thing before death arrives is to know that ‘before death arrives’ never leads to the most important thing.” Unfortunately, it was only shortly before the cenobite’s death arrived that he stopped worrying about the times previous to the arrival of his death. ※ note to the reader The cenobite spoke in terms of death, but Master Grasshopper answered in terms of the most important thing: The Living Present. What is “before death arrives” anyway? Is it a specific moment in time, is it a person’s lifespan, is it part of the timeless times?! Whatever it is, as Master Grasshopper implied, it is probably not the wisest of ideas.
115
un de r s ta n d in g en l ig hte n m en t (koan)
“Y
oung cenobite!”
“Yes, Master.” Answered the cenobite as he practiced walking meditation. “Are you aware that by being here, hoping to become awakened, your existence is just as ordinary as that of any other sentient being?” “I am, Master.” “And what would happen if you were to become awakened? Will your existence mean something more then?” *** Master Grasshopper’s question troubled the cenobite deeply, not only because he knew he had no way of answering it, but also because he felt so distant from any possible answer. Immediately thereafter, the cenobite decided to isolate himself in a cave in the Himalayas (following the example of many saints) where he could stay away from all worldly disturbances and thus find the meaning of being enlightened.
116
Many years passed, and still, the cenobite had no answer. Though there was a greater problem: the deplorable living conditions in which he had lived for so long had taken their toll, and in the face of death, he was forced to return to the monastery. “Tell me all about your struggles, old man!” Master Grasshopper ridiculed the poor cenobite upon seeing him. “You don’t look like having much of an answer!” “What am I to know Master, what am I to know? I wear the same old robe, the mornings are always cold, spring is still covered with cherries, a rose is but a rose. Today… I invariably exist today.” “Come in and rest, Master.” Said Master Grasshopper as a way of recognizing the cenobite’s understanding. ※ note to the reader Men, in their desperation to be something more than just ordinary creatures, embark on ridiculous existential quests with the aim of filling nonexistent voids. Fortunately, on this occasion, the cenobite realized that a rose is but a rose.
117
wh e n to g iv e u p Z aze n (koan)
“Y
ou again!” Master Grasshopper exclaimed with obvious annoyance. “Haven’t thousands of hours of probing the unconscious been enough?” “Pardon my intrusion, Master. It’s just that despite being able to completely empty my mind during my meditative practice, I feel far from liberated. Instead, the need to constantly savor that mental void keeps growing stronger! So I wonder, Master, when is it wise to give up Zazen?” “When this mental void you speak of reflects the totality of things, you will know what to do.” “I’m afraid I do not understand, Master.” “When you can think an empty-universal-thought! A thought that reflects both everything, and nothing at all.” ※ note to the reader Will the cenobite ever have a respite? Or will he be forever doomed to meditate, and meditate… and meditate?
118
the f as c in a tin g wo rld o f e ar th l y t e m p tations (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, what would you say to a monk who, after many years, decides to leave his monastery, never to go back?” “I’d call him an idiot!” Said Master Grasshopper. “What then would you say to a monk who, after many years, decides to leave his monastery but ends up going back?” “I would call him an irredeemable idiot!” ※ note to the reader The first monk went back to the world of fascinating earthly temptations. What an idiot! What took him so long? The second monk also returned to the world of fascinating earthly temptations, but, alas, the poor fellow felt ordinary and lost. What an irremediable idiot! He had to go back to the existential solace of the monastic ways in hopes of overcoming such an earthly and tempting world.
119
th e e x pl a n a tio n o f the w orld (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, can this world be explained?”
“If this world couldn’t be explained, what are all the enlightened sages for?” “You’re right, Master. For most of us, this world is unexplainable.” ※ note to the reader Many beings there are who believe they have arrived at a clear understanding of the world through the narrative of spiritual written language and spoken words. Very few are the brave ones who dare see their earthly experience as the only factual and most sincere explanation of the world. Ah! Almost forgot to mention the most comical beings of all, namely, those who pride themselves on saying that the ten thousand things are “inexplicable”, thereby pretending to be KNOWLEDGEABLY referring to an intrinsic characteristic of the world (the unknown), and not to a limitation of our own.
120
a se r m o n o f Z e n (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, I am weary of Buddhist sermons that speak of awakenings to come. Oh, what they’ve made of me: not only am I an expert in avoiding reincarnation, but also a holder of noble truths and superior paths to walk. And yet, at the end of the day, I feel so distant from the essence of that which is, and that which is not. Master, where did I go wrong?!” “Please calm down, young cenobite. Your problem can be readily solved.” Replied Master Grasshopper. “From now on, listen solely to the sermons whose message is destined to be immediately destroyed.” “You mean a sermon that gives no relevance to itself, Master?” “A sermon of Zen! One that, in the face of immediate reality, has nowhere else to take you, and no further truths to tell.” So far, it seems that Master Grasshopper’s advice has not been of any help. Wherever the cenobite goes, no one has ever heard of a sermon of Zen.
121
※ note to the reader Some sermons long to remain important but have no importance in the remaining world. How might a sermon of Zen be voiced?
122
a n inf in ite u n d e rs tand ing (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, it is commonly said that our universe is of infinite proportions. Is that something wise to believe?”
“That’s quite a risky statement! Unless, of course, someone’s understanding can encompass the infinite.” “I see, Master. And how could anyone accomplish such a monumental feat?” “Easy! By not knowing which direction a particular understanding will take, where it is to end, and what exactly that understanding is supposed to understand.”
123
th e Z e n s p ee c h of the ce n tu ry (koan)
A
fter many years of failing to convince Master Grasshopper to speak at the annual gathering of all the Buddhist monastic orders in the region, the cenobite finally had his way. On that day, Master Grasshopper took the stand before the longing gaze of thousands of Buddhist acolytes only to say two words: “Good luck.” Soon after, many of those present gave up the religious ways: they realized how far from enlightenment they had been all along. ※ note to the reader How many words does it take to overcome the urge for enlightenment? How many?! P.S. Next time anyone wishes to make sense of someone else’s existence by means of discourse, remember Master Grasshopper’s only two words.
124
r e c o g n iz in g th e corre ct tea c her o f Z en (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, before I leave the monastery grounds, I must ask: On my wandering path, how will I recognize the teacher who can show me the way?” “When you come across an enlightened sage who has absolutely no intention of showing you the way, he is not the one.” Said Master Grasshopper. “However, if ever you come across an enlightened sage who, having considered your noble aspirations, would gladly show you the way, he is also not the one.” “But Master, how then shall I recognize the right teacher?!” “Because he will know nothing about the way.” ※ note to the reader In this regard, the great Nyogen Senzaki once said: “Zen is not a thing that can be given by a teacher to a disciple […] we know that the best help to be gotten from Zen is ‘no help.’ Many sects of different religions aim to help people, not realizing that this very help disturbs the inner growth of those so ‘helped’ as well as their own.”
125
inte nti o n s th a t c u t y ou r he a d o f f (koan)
O
ne summer morning, as Master Grasshopper munched gleefully on the golden Japanese grass of the monastery fields, he noticed the presence of a graceful lad heading straight to the Buddhist compound with nothing more than monastic intentions. “Where in heaven’s name do you think you’re going?!” Master Grasshopper severely reprimanded the would-be cenobite. “Sir, I have come this far in the hope of becoming an ordained monk. Ever since I can remember, I have dreamed of living a worthy existence and being of service to all sentient beings.” “You have not the slightest idea of what you are saying!” Cried Master Grasshopper. “They will cut your head off!” “But…” “Leave!!!” Want to be of service to other beings? Empty a bottle of sake and that song to your lover, never stop singing.
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※ note to the reader The poor young lad was so close to losing his mind! Fortunately for him, Master Grasshopper managed to prevent irreversible monastic truths from anchoring in his head, thereby losing it.
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the endless in the temporary and the temporary in the eternal (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, when you die and only your carcass is left, where will I be able to find you?”
“Do not worry about that; I will find you first.” Replied Master Grasshopper. “Are we to meet in the place where things have neither beginning nor end?!” The cenobite asked enthusiastically. “Quite the contrary! We shall meet where things that have no beginning are meant to end, and things that have no end never commence.” ※ note to the reader “I will find you first”: I will pop into your head countless times before you can even blink an eye. The place where the cenobite hopes to see his master again is nothing more than a superstitious ideal as far as human reality is concerned, which is why Master Grasshopper decides to answer with even more ridiculous nonsense.
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But just in case Master Grasshopper is incorrect, and the place of which the cenobite speaks is indeed within the discerning capabilities of our intellect, I apologize to the reader for not being able to see the endless in the temporary and the temporary in the eternal.
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on tho s e w h o w is h to b e c o me e tern a l (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, is it convenient to think of ourselves as being eternal?”
“Only if you have already thought of yourself as being temporary.” “Master…” (The cenobite awoke from the delusion of time) Some twenty years later, the cenobite sent the following poem to the monastery along with his resignation letter: Hope to quiet your-selves in silences so loudly heard? Hope to vanquish your-selves in times so deliberately made? Get out of the Zendo! Hear the noises of nature, and time… and selves.
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w ho c a n t h i n k o f nothi ng? (koan)
“C
enobite! Come out here for a short moment.” Ordered Master Grasshopper.
“Yes, Master.” “Think of nothing!”
The cenobite turned around, made an obscene gesture toward the monastery, and forever left the place without saying a single word. ※ note to the reader Zen is known to be an anti-philosophical philosophy, in the sense that it does not care for Zen narratives to remain in people’s minds, quite the contrary! It aims to abolish all preconceived notions about the world in the face of immediate reality, thus destroying all philosophical-theoretical forms of Zen. When we speak of nothingness, at least in the anti-philosophical sphere of Zen, we automatically point to something, some-thing which is never no-thing.
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It is therefore impossible to knowingly allude to nothingness by means of reason or intellection; unless, of course, someone has consciously experienced the void (let us laugh!) Nevertheless, some speak of “emptiness” pretending to express an immanent attribute of things: how ridiculous can spiritual pretensions be!
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fig ur in g o u t h o w to liv e (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, when I look at myself and my fellow men, I cannot help but wonder: why is it so complicated for us to live wisely?” Master Grasshopper struck the back of the cenobite’s head with a bamboo stick. “Ouch!” The cenobite screamed in pain. Master Grasshopper struck the back of the cenobite’s head once more. “Please stop, Master!” But despite the cenobite’s pleas, Master Grasshopper continued to strike. “Stop it, Master! Now it all makes sense!” “What do you mean?” Master Grasshopper asked. “Nothing makes sense, Master.” “Great! Your Zen was not in vain.”
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※ note to the reader “It makes perfect sense that nothing makes sense”: what a difficult Zen realization to come about! After the cenobite left the monastic ways for good, Master Grasshopper told the rest of the monks what had happened, and said: “The cenobite and his fellow men had difficulty living wisely, probably because they hoped to find infallible reasons and ways to give their lives an unmistakable universal existential meaning, as if human life were some kind of systematic and unchanging event relatable to all minds, purposes, realities, contexts, and times.” The blows to the cenobite’s head were an invitation for him to stop wondering how to live wisely and dare to recognize the uniqueness of each situation and live accordingly, whether it makes sense or not. Want to learn how to live? A Zen blow to the head, is all you need.
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w hat re a l ity rea l ly i s (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, how right are our Hindu brothers: it is a shame to have to live mentally trapped in this phenomenal world that appears not to be an illusion. What kind of ‘reality’ is this, Master?!” “One that is neither false nor true. It isn’t eternal, but neither is it transitory; it is not numinous, just as it isn’t ordinary. All in all, a reality that could never be contained by the preconceptions of your Hindu brothers.” Said Master Grasshopper. “What is it then, Master? It must be something!” “Indeed! something it is.” “And how can we be totally sure that this ‘something’ actually exists?” “Just as you can be sure of the reality of your questions about reality.” The cenobite left… to a different reality.
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※ note to the reader Can anyone doubt that they are doubting while they are doubting? For what purpose, then, doubt the reality in which one can doubt? The ancient poets of Zen used to say: Reality must be where your eyes can see, your nose can breathe, and your dreams exist.
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h ow mu c h d o y o u ignore ? (koan)
“C
enobite!” Shouted Master Grasshopper. “Yes, Master.”
“You have devoted your whole life to self-realization. But not only that! You have also delved into the reasons behind it all and discovered great things that could never be spoken of.” “I humbly acknowledge your words, Master. It has been the effort of a lifetime.” “I imagine that after such a great and sincere effort, you are also aware of the limits of your ignorance. Tell me about them! How much can you know? How much do you not know?” The cenobite stuttered before returning furious to the meditation hall. ※ note to the reader Before thinking you have arrived at a substantial understanding about it all, please, tell Master Grasshopper, how much do you ignore?
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su p r e me p l a n vs. s pr in g ti m e c h errie s (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, was this universe created with us in mind?”
“In other words, it frightens you to know that maybe you’re not part of a supreme and divine orchestration?” Replied Master Grasshopper. “You are probably right Master. It would be very hard to accept not being part of something greater.” “Supreme-ordinary, orchestration-disunity, chance-destiny: despite your intellectual dichotomies, the foothills of Mount Fuji will be brimming with cherries, next spring.” ※ note to the reader What will the cenobite do next spring? Regardless of whether or not he has solved such universal mysteries by then, he’d better enjoy some delicious cherries!
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in to th e o t h er s ide (koan)
“W
hy have you allowed yourself to be called The First Great Patriarch of Zen?!” The cenobite asked Bodhidharma in a challenging tone and without having paid his respects, as was customary. “And what exactly is it that’s so important that you can give to others?” “I am afraid we do not speak the same Zen. Show me your Zen!” Replied Bodhidharma. “I came here to get it.” “You have never been further away from it. Throughout the four corners of the world and among the ten thousand things, you will only find old Zen masters like me. Zen is always on the other side.” Bodhidharma drew a thin line in the air and crossed over, to the other side. ※ note to the reader The Nothing-to-Learn Paradox: That is a nice and simple way to describe the experience of Zen. But since the experience of Zen can never be put into words (and silence is too weak to contain it), it is, nonetheless, a futile description. 139
Perhaps it would be convenient for all of those looking for masters, awakenings, Zen-like descriptions, and existential cures, to do as Bodhidharma did, and cross over to the other side.
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it’ s neve r b ee n a matte r o f l if e a n d d e a th (koan)
A
s a novice of Buddhist monasticism strolled about the monastery gardens, he happened to cross paths with Master Grasshopper. We can only imagine what happened next. “Create an empty thought!” Demanded Master Grasshopper. After five long and arduous years of uninterrupted meditation, the novice finally gave up his quest and went in search of Master Grasshopper, completely demoralized. “Master, I have not been able to bring about such a thought. Now I must go back to Koyasan, my family awaits me.” “Don’t give up so quickly!” Urged Master Grasshopper. “Just give it a couple more months.” A few months passed, and again the novice returned weeping to Master Grasshopper. “I am not worthy of enlightenment, Master!” “Try it once more!” Exclaimed Master Grasshopper. “If you aren’t able to create an empty thought by this time tomorrow, then you should probably walk away from the monastic ways.” The next day… well, suffice it to say that the novice now enjoys all the festivities of his hometown with his family and friends. 141
※ note to the reader We could very well say that the novice did reach enlightenment after all, in the sense that despite so much struggle, he finally made it home. But let’s be honest, if enlightenment were a matter of life and death, everyone would make it home in no time.
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the e nd of a l l q u esti ons (koan)
“M
aster Grasshopper, why are we here together? In such a beautiful garden, under a radiant blue sky, and in this palatial monastery. Could it be life’s way of telling me that my karma is purified?” “Here, let me show you why!” Master Grasshopper, enraged, set himself on fire and… left? ※ note to the reader As the reader has noticed throughout this work, many of the cenobite’s questions were overwhelmingly absurd and, moreover, mostly unnecessary. But this last question! Dear me, it really was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The cenobite was pleasantly enjoying the company of Master Grasshopper in a beautiful garden under a radiant blue sky. Why did he need further explanations?! How ironic things can be: His need to intellectualize this experience through Zen-full descriptions took away all Zen. In this regard, the author believes that if The Immediate Reality experience needs to be enhanced by assurance, sermons, or any 143
particular truth, then we are severely distracted. What is it that’s so important that can flourish in the mind, but not in our relationship with life?! It seems that for many of us it is of greater importance to know why things happen, than to actually experience the happenings that happen. Lastly, who has made our minds believe that they could contain the essence of the ten thousand things and the uncreated world?! Who?! Whatever the answer, Master Grasshopper set himself on fire so as to prevent any other cenobite from being distracted by his presence.
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Countless tomes have been written in the name of a better world; where have their readers hidden?! Which way have their penmen gone? Oh my, what have I just done?! This Zen was to be, nothing but fun.
a c k now l e d g me n ts
I hereby thank my good friends and writers JT Lachappelle and James A.M.E. Stevenson for so Zen-lessly helping this written endeavor overcome literary and philosophical challenges that would have otherwise prevented it from seeing the light of day. My deepest gratitude and appreciation to you, Masters.