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INDIA'S NO.1 PREGNANCY, BABY & TODDLER MAGAZINE TOTAL PAGES 100

SUBSCRIBER'S COPY

JANUARY 2020

THE

FUSSY

MILKY

Feeder Fix

New ALTERNATIVES TO DAIRY

foods code

WAY

The

new

SHIFTING

HOMES?

HELP YOUR

New MUM-TO-BE

CHILD COPE

WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT?

ISSUE FOCUS

Talk to me

New Beginnings

BONDING TIPS FOR

New MOMMY

Disha Madan

The Kannada actor reveals what goes on 'behind the scenes' in her parenting journey

@motherandbabyindia

@MotherandBabyIN

@motherandbabyindia

www.motherandbabyindia.com

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Contents

January 2020

On the Cover

Disha Madan With her son Vian Visual by Mommy Shots by Amrita

In every issue M&B PANEL ............................ 10 Our team of experts EDIT NOTE ............................... 12 From us to you MUM’S THE WORD ................... 16 Snapshots from your mommy diary THE WHOLE NINE MONTHS ..... 18 Show off your baby bump ANGEL SPOTTING .................... 20 Your favourite baby clicks WHAT’S IN STORE .................... 22 Grab that shopping bag and head to your nearest mall WHAT’S ON .............................. 27 All the buzz from across the country

34 FIRST OUTFITS......................................30 Make her first clothes oh-so special COVER MUM..........................................34 Actor Disha Madan on her latest role FINGER LICKIN’ GOOD...........................44 Finger food for your li’l one to feast on WELCOME HOME BABY.........................52 Be prepared to bring your newborn home COVER PLUS.........................................54 Watch out for your baby’s firsts!

EXPERT SPEAK.....................................58 Tips for your new beginnings HOW TO................................................60 Communicate with your baby

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EMBRACING YOUR NEW LIFE......64 Welcoming the new and exciting change VAGINAL BRUISING.....................66 A low-down on keeping it in control HELLO, NEW MOMMY!.................68 Settle into your new role with these tips

FIRSTS OF MANY!.........................72 Watch her physically develop EXPERT SPEAK.............................76 Why that first feed is the most important LEAVING HER WITH THE BABY SITTER..........................................78 Don’t let the anxiety get to you!

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OPEN WIDE!........................................80 Introducing your baby to new foods THE MILKY WAY .................................82 Knowing what milk to give your one year-old PLAYTIME...........................................84 Introducing your baby to new toys BEHAVE YOURSELF!..........................94 Tame your unruly tot ON THE MOVE....................................88 Shifting houses with a toddler TALK TO ME.......................................92 When she starts to communicate with you LET’S BE FRIENDS............................94 Get your baby to socialise TIME FOR SCHOOL!...........................96 Making the big move from preschool

Views and opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of Next Gen Publishing Pvt. Ltd. does not take responsibility for returning unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, or other material.

All material published in Mother and Baby is copyright and no part of the magazine may be reproduced in part or full without the express prior written permission of the publisher. Printed by Stephen Cyril D’Lima, 105-106,Trade World, B Wing, 1st Floor , Kamala Mill Compound, Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel West. Mumbai -400013. Printed at Kala Jyothi Process Pvt. Ltd, 1-1-60/5 RTCX Roads, Hyderabad 20.

Published at Next Gen Publishing Pvt. Ltd, 105-106,Trade World, B Wing, 1st Floor , Kamala Mill Compound, Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel West. Mumbai -400013 Editor Swati ChopraVikamsey

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THE TEAM EDITORIAL Editor Swati Chopra Vikamsey c.swati@nextgenpublishing.net Asst Editor Kriselle Fonseca k.fonseca@nextgenpublishing.net

f E o x l perts e n a P

HEAD - DESIGN & PRODUCTION Ravi Parmar ART DIRECTOR Vishakha Khanolkar Palav PICTURES DESK Dipak Gaykar PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR Dinesh Bhajnik STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Mahesh Reddy PUBLISHING Publisher Stephen Cyril D’Lima Mother and Baby India is a licensee product of Bauer Consumer Media Ltd. UK CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Hoshang S. Billimoria

DR KIRAN COELHO A succesful gynaecologist and practicing obgyn for the last 30 years.

DR DHERANDRA KUMAR Consultant clinical and child psychologist, he is founder and director of Psyindia, and engaged in direct work with children.

MARKETING General Manager-North & East Ellora Das Gupta General Manager-South Girish Shet CIRCULATION MANAGER Kapil Kaushik (North & East) SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscriptions Supervisor Sachin Kelkar Tel: +91 22 43525220 E-mail: subscriptions@nextgenpublishing.net APPLE NEWSSTAND & MAGZTER QUERIES help@magzter.com ZINIO SUBSCRIPTIONS QUERIES http://in.zinio.com/help/index.jsp TERRITORY SALES INCHARGE (SIP) Srinivas Gangula (Hyderabad) Mob: +919000555756 Vidyasagar Gupta (Kolkata) Mob: +919804085683

DR ANITA MADAN A doctorate in education, she is currently the Curriculum Development head with EuroKids International Pvt Ltd where she promotes a developmentally appropriate curriculum.

DR GEETANJALI SHAH Popular Mumbai paediatrician, conducts holistic fitness workshops for pregnant women.

SONALI SHIVLANI Mumbai-based childbirth educator, certified by Childbirth & Postpartum Professional Association, USA.

ANIKA PURI Childbirth educator, prenatal and postnatal massage therapist, certified counsellor, reflexolgist and a holistic practitioner of women’s health and fertility in Delhi.

MARKETING OFFICES Mumbai 105-106, Trade World, 1st Floor, B Wing, Kamala Mill Compound, Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel West. Mumbai -400013 Tel: +91 22 43525252 Ahmedabad Devendra Mehta - Mob No.- 09714913234 Bengaluru Unit No. 509, 5th Floor ‘B’ Wing, Mittal Towers, MG Road, Bangalore -560001, Tel: +91 80 66110116/17 Fax: + 91 80 41472574 Chennai Salma Jabbar Cenetoph Elite,No.5,1st street, Teynampet, Chennai-6000018 Tel: + 91 044 421-08-421, 044 421-75-421 New Delhi Ellora Das Gupta 26-B, First Floor, Okhla Industrial Estate, Phase-III, New Delhi - 110020 Tel: +91 11 4234 6600 / 6678 Fax: + 91 11 4234 6679 Pune Next Gen Publishing Pvt. Ltd., S.No.261/G.L.R.No.5 East Street,Camp, Pune-411001 Tel : + 91 20 26830465 Hyderabad Srinivas Gangula -Territory Sales Incharge (Circulation) Mobile no. 09000555756 Kolkata Vidyasagar Gupta -Territory Sales Incharge (Circulation).

Mobile no. 09804085683 BAUER CONSUMER MEDIA Picture Researcher Kirsty McNeil INTERNATIONAL EDITIONS Australia • Croatia • Indonesia Poland • Serbia • Singapore Thailand • United Kingdom

NUTAN PANDIT Breastfeeding counsellor and natural birth therapist who’s been teaching in New Delhi since 1978.

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EFFATH YASMIN Founder of Nourish & Nurture Lactation Care & Parenting Education, International Board Certified lactation consultant, and accredited La Leche League leader.

Views and opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of Next Gen Publishing Pvt. Ltd. does not take responsibility for returning unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, or other material.

All material published in Mother and Baby is copyright and no part of the magazine may be reproduced in part or full without the express prior written permission of the publisher. Printed by Stephen Cyril D’Lima, 105-106, Trade World, B Wing, 1st Floor , Kamala Mill Compound, Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel West. Mumbai -400013.

Printed at Kala Jyothi Process Pvt. Ltd, 1-1-60/5 RTCX Roads, Hyderabad 20.

Published at Next Gen Publishing Pvt. Ltd., 105-106, Trade World, B Wing, 1st Floor, Kamala Mill Compound, Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel West. Mumbai -400013 Editor Swati Chopra Vikamsey

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Editor’s Note

ou must have heard it several times over. And I assure you, it is not an exaggeration. A baby changes literally everything about your life. So much that it's a whole new life—with the good, the bad and the ugly—and it does take some getting used to. Your body, your relationships, your sleeping pattern, your friends, hell, even your own belief systems may change! And though you've been warned, you have no idea what is going to hit you (definitely not the first time around). And try as we might, we may not be able to ready you enough. So, what we will do this new year's instead, is make Mother & Baby all about the “new”. If you're a new mum-to-be, we bring you advice for preparing yourself for the transition in every way possible, including gearing up yourself and your home. You'll also find guidelines on the first feed during the golden hour, picking her first outfits and ways to communicate with your baby.

Dig in for info on all your baby's firsts, including milestones and first words.

Dish out her first finger foods from our baby-friendly recipes as you circumvent your way around introducing her to different kinds of foods.

Or new toys, for that matter. Or new friends. Or her new baby sitter!

It's a whole new world. And she is as nervous about it as you are. You hold her hand through all the learning and exploring. And we promise to hold yours.

Visual: Shruti Tejwani Photography

Swati Chopra Vikamsey Editor

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M&B Promotions , k r a m r u o y On

arrival of your li’l one BEFORE YOU GIVE BIRTH

The final trimester is a time of excitement for any mommy-to-be. Your wait of all these weeks is finally about to end, and you are all set to meet someone who will be your prime focus for several years to come. So while you make sure that you take all the care you need to for your own health and that of your baby, always remember that it’s important to take it easy too.

HERE ARE A FEW THINGS YOU MUST DO BEFORE THE BIRTH

Pamper yourself: Pretty soon, you may not find the time to have a shower and get dressed every morning, let alone paint your nails or shave your legs. So why not treat yourself to a haircut, a leg wax, or a manicure? Treat your tootsies to a

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pedicure. It’ll help relax you and will mean you’ll start mummy-hood feeling fantastic.

Sort out your finances: Get all your bills switched to direct debit and sort out a budget, so you can manage easy when you’re on maternity leave.

Dig out the duster: Make the most of your nesting instinct and give the house a good spring clean. Don’t overdo it, and try to keep the harsh cleaning products full of chemicals to a minimum.

Ditch the alarm clock: Before breakfast in bed becomes a thing of the past (for anyone apart from your baby that is!) make the most of having as much time as you like to sleep and spend some long, lazy mornings reading the papers.

Decorate the nursery: Okay, so she won’t really care whether there’s jaded floral wallpaper in her room or not for the first few months, but you will, and once your baby’s here, you’ll never get round to doing it. Get the nursery, and the rest of the house, organised before you bring your new bundle of joy home.

Remember remember: Start a pregnancy diary and record your thoughts, feelings, hopes and fears.

Then, when your baby’s born, you can add all the must-remember info like her weight, when she cut her first tooth or when you got the first longawaited smile.

THE BIRTH

It can be an anxious time as you approach labour, but your body has been preparing for this for the past nine months. Try to stay calm, and let your body do what comes naturally.

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NEWBORN CARE She’s here and you realise that taking care of someone so small and fragile is a beautiful, yet nerve-racking experience. If you’ve never handled a tiny baby before, it is worthwhile to learn a few basics of baby care BEFORE you go back home from the hospital. Some of the things that you will need to learn are: How to carefully hold a baby that small, ensuring that her neck is well supported Giving your baby a bath safely and gently Clothing your baby Cleaning your baby’s wee bits, and changing the diaper Swaddling your baby Soothing your baby Feeding and burping your baby Cleaning the umbilical cord Essential grooming like clipping his nails, cleaning her nose, ears, etc Basic first aid and a list of medicines to keep at home Of these, your baby’s very few basic needs are to be held, to be fed, to be cleaned and to be changed. We will look at how you can master at least one aspect of newborn baby care—cleaning and diapering.

TIME FOR A CHANGE For the first few days, your baby may have remnants of protective vernix around her diaper area, as well as in other creases over her body. Don’t try to clean it away. Leave it and it will absorb into the skin. Babies need to be changed as often as it is needed. If the diaper is not absorbent enough, it will cause discomfort to the baby, as their delicate skin cannot handle too much moisture. You should always choose diapers

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with premium absorption, like Mamy Poko Pants, which comes in various sizes suitable to the baby’s growth. It is very important to steer clear from uncomfortable material or sticky tapes that can irritate your baby’s gentle skin and cause leakage issues.

YOUR STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE Removing a pants style diaper is easier than you’d think. Lie your baby on her back on a changing mat or folded towel. If you have a raised surface, such as the bed or a changing table, it’ll be easier on your back, but never leave her unattended—she could easily roll off. Hold both her ankles in one hand, and undo the pant style diapers by gently ripping it off from the sides. Remember to watch out for fresh leaks—if you have a boy, it’s best to hold the nappy over his penis for a while!

Use a baby wipe to wipe off any excess poo. Still holding her legs up, fold the diaper towards the bottom, and slowly slide it out from under her. Clean her bottom with a baby wipe (for girls, wipe from front to back to avoid spreading germs). Pat her dry with a tissue or soft towel.

Let your baby have a nudie kick for a few minutes (cover boys’ willies to prevent any unwanted leakages!). Apply petroleum jelly or barrier cream to stop her skin from getting sore. Pass both your arms through a pant style diaper, and holding her legs with each hand, slide the diaper under her bottom, and over her waist, all the while, taking care that the umbilical cord is carefuly handled. Point your baby boy’s willy towards his feet so nothing can leak over the top of his diaper.

Newborn skincare Here are some of the things you should keep in mind Peeling skin: This is normal in babies born past their due date, and clears up in a couple of weeks.

Baby Acne: Pimples usually disappear within a few weeks, and are known to be caused due to yeast. No treatment is needed.

Eczema: An itchy rash may appear on the face or body, in response to a trigger, and is common in children who have a family history of asthma, allergies, or atopic dermatitis.

Use a mild soap and apply moderate amounts of moisturizers. More severe eczema may need medical intervention.

Cradle cap: Also called seborrheic dermatitis, it appears as crusty patches of scaly skin on your baby’s scalp and may be caused by too much oil. You may have to use medicated baby wash or creams to help with this. Check with your pediatrician if it is severe.

General skin-care: Always use renowned diapers and toiletries as these come in direct contact with your baby’s skin. Use a gentle detergent to wash everything that touches your infant’s skin, from bedding and blankets to towels, and even your own clothes.

January 2020 | 15 Mother and Baby

Do you have something to say?

Is there any way Mother & Baby can help you in your journey of parenthood? Write in to the editor at this e-mail address: mbeditorial@gmail.com The letter of the month will win a special gift from Sophie la girafe®

Hi Team, I love reading M&B and often recommend it to my friends who have babies. The content is insightful and interesting. When I was pregnant, I often got my doubts solved from my doctor and asked him additional queries based on the content I’d read in the magazine. One of my favourite sections is ‘What’s in Store’. I like the fact that it’s a compliation of products for the entire family, and not just restricted to only children.

Thank you.

KOMAL SETHI, NEW DELHI Hi Komal, We are glad you find the content worth your while. It makes us feel appreciated for our work, and motivates us to work harder.

Cheers! - Swati

Sophie la girafe®, Baby’s favourite teething toy made of natural rubber, since 1961—And happy sponsor of

Mum’s the Word For product-related queries visit www.sophielagirafe.in, or write in to hello@hoyabella-distribution.com

Dear Team, A few months ago, I remember feeling absolutely helpless and lost, because my baby girl Naila just wouldn’t sleep! No matter how much I tried to get her on a schedule, sang or fed her to sleep, my little night owl would somehow manage to wake up and stay awake through the entire night! That’s when I came across your sleep special issue, and I can’t thank you enough. Being a first time parent and facing such challenges can really make you question your abilities, but after reading the magazine, I was definitely put at ease. I even consulted with one of your experts, and Naila now sleeps through the night, waking only on occassions.

Thanks a ton!

SABINA MERCHANT, SECUNDERABAD Dear Sabina,We understand that new parents schedules go completely out of whack with a new born. It’s okay to get help wherever need and we’re happy M&B came in handy to get your sleep situation sorted. Sweet dreams then! -Swati

Hi M&B, I’m an expectant mother and I’m six months along. I have recently joined yoga classes as suggested by my doctor. I also read an article relating to these classes in an issue of M&B. These classes keep me happy and I feel fit rather than lethargic. I’ve even made a few friends at these classes, which made me think of another article I read in the magazine called ‘Mum-Friends Forever’. Meeting new mums and even second-time mums made me feel relaxed about my pregnancy. Thank you for all that you do and good luck for the future!

RIDDHI JADHAV, MUMBAI Hi Riddhi, We’re glad to know that you’re keeping yourself fit during your pregnancy, and that you’ve made some friends in the process. Sharing your experience and journey with mums-to-be can be quite relieving, and will also enable you to connect with them emotionally. Nothing like a solid support system! Good luck. -Swati

Subscribe now Turn to Pg 23 ¶ WHY SUBSCRIBE TO MOTHER & BABY MAGAZINE? If you’re a smart, savvy and style-conscious mum, you will enjoy the perfect mix of information and insight that M&B offers. Get useful tips on pregnancy and babycare plus articles to enhance your own life. + recipes + fashion + hot destinations + reviews

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Whole Nine Months

Photography

Deepika Luharuka, Kolkata

Manisha Sharma, Hyderaba d Share your pregnancy photos with us and you could

Visual: Neha Brackstone

Win exciting

It is important to plan your baby’s birth, and learn as much possible about what it would be like in what you have chosen. Whether you choose a hospital, birthing center or a water birth, do a thorough research and make sure your doctor will be able to guide you with your choice, and build your confidence for your pregnancy and childbirth

prizes!

Send high-res images with your full name, personal address and contact details to mbeditorial@gmail.com marked ‘THE WHOLE NINE MONTHS’ in the subject line.

Featured mums-to-be will receive a gift hamper from Himalaya, valuing `1000 each.

Sakshi Jiwarajka, Mumba

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2019 Inviting nominations for the following categories: 

Taped diapers



Mommy care product



Pant style diapers



Baby toiletries



Baby stroller



Pregnancy apparel



Car seat



Retail chain



High chair



Safety brand



Baby toy



Online retailer/

(0 to 24 months)

e-Commerce



Toddler toy (2 to 5 years)



Breastpump



Baby utilities



Best Investment for



Kids apparel



Nursery product

the future 

Innovation of the year

email: motherandbabyawards@gmail.com (mention ‘Mum’s award 2019’ in subject line)

Angel Spotting

Reyaan Luharuka

Jaclin Chakrabo

rty

Send high-res images of your baby to mbeditorial@gmail.com with ‘Angel Spotting’ in the subject line, with your baby’s name, your address and phone number.

Agastya Bangera 20

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Life &Kids

What’s in store

Bite me!

The Sophie la Girafe So’pure teething ring is made with 100% natural rubber, ideal to soothe baby’s sore gums! It has many parts including its ears, horns, ring and neck that are both natural and healthy for baby to chew on. The texture of the teether also relieves pain due to teething. The dark and contrasting spots stimulate baby’s sight. The lightweight construction makes it light and easy to grasp for little hands Age: 0 to 18 Months Product dimension: 10 x 5 x 12 cm

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Soft and supple Cetaphil Baby Daily Lotion’s gentle formula is clinically proven to hydrate babies’ delicate skin for 24 hours, restoring the skin’s natural barrier, softening and soothing the skin. It is specially made for babies’ sensitive and delicate skin, keeping it that keeps the skin hydrated for 24 hours. This non-sensitizing formula is not just mild on the skin, but also does not sting the eyes. It is formulated with soyabean oil, shea butter, sunflower oil and glycerin, which nourishes and protects your lil one’s skin.

`63

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It helps mums make the right choices for her baby, for herself and for her family.

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JANUARY 2020

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What’s in store

Bottoms up

Superbottoms recently launched a cloth diaper for special children, which would be made-to-order and would be launched at a no-profit basis. Many parents of special children and NGOs who work with special children, approached Superbottoms with their need for diapers for older children. They are not completely toilet trained until late and disposable diapers cause a huge economic strain on the parents of these children, besides the skin issues faced due to prolonged use of plastic and chemicals present in disposable diapers. The team is working with parents of special children to develop the design and sizes that would work for these children. The diaers are 100% washable and reusable cloth diapers which are leakproof, have long absorbency, and a dry feel layer on the skin

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Lips don’t lie!

Revlon has launched an exciting range of matte lipsticks to suit every need—Super Matte lipstick, Velvety Matte lip colour, Hyper Matte lip mousse and Moisturising Matte balm. These are available in a number of different shades and mainly boasts of big bold colours, balmy effect, velvety touch and long lasting wear.

The range has a smooth, non-drying formulation, high impact colour, and leave your lips feeling soft and hydrated.

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What’s in store

Curl it up!

Mommies, now you can care for your curls with ease! Nutricurls is a complete line-up of care products by Wella Professionals, that provide the right level of nourishment to enhance your waves and curls. It makes your tresses defined, bouncy and manageable while reducing frizz. The range features a shampoo, conditioner and a mask. All Nutricurls products include a nourish-in complex with wheat bran extract and jojoba oil. This helps to give your curls and waves definition, antifrizz effect, better manageability, lusciousness and bounciness. The wheat bran extract is naturally rich in vitamins and minerals, proteins and essential fatty acids, while the Jojoba oil is known for its nourishing properties.

I hate tears!

Chicco baby moments body wash and no tears shampoo is gentle to the eyes and made with mild natural ingredients of specific origin. It gently cleanses the baby’s delicate skin and hair, making them soft and smooth.The texture of the bodywash is completely transparent. It includes natural ingredients like oats extract and pot marigold to gently cleanse baby’s sensitive skin everyday. This range is free of parabens, SLS and SLES, dyes and alcohol free.

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What’s on READY. SET. GO! Mumbai Juniorthon, India’s largest under 15 kids’ run, took place recently and saw as many as 4000 families participating at MMRDA Grounds, BKC, Mumbai. Child celebrity Shivansh Kotia, along with BJP spokesperson Shaina NC were special guests at the event, where children from the age of 5 to 15 years participated in category-specific runs. This year, Juniorthon supported the ‘right to education’ for underprivileged children through its partnership with NGO Ekal Yuva. Proceeds from the race would be donated to the organisation. Juniorthon, along with ADAPT, a school for children with special needs, also organized a ‘Happy Run’ for especially abled children in a bid to provide them with equal opportunities.

The special 0.5 kms run saw participation in both wheel chair based and non-wheel chair based categories.

There was also a Fun-Fitness Carnival, which hosted over 50 attractions like games, food, rides, fitness activities, workshops and specially curated shows, and more. To support sustainable development, Juniorthon tied up with NGO iVolunteer for a free workshop on Seed Bombing, where children made small bombs of vegetable and herb seeds.

Juniorthon also associated with Akhil Bhartiya Terapanth Yuvak Parishad, an NGO that works towards sustainable disposal and waste management to ensure zero waste the event. Children who crossed the finish line were given a finishers’ medal and a completion certificate.

SAYING NO TO PLASTIC The Moms Co., a leading personal care brand, has partnered with rePurpose Global to deliver a plastic neutral experience to their customers, in a bid to reduce the ill-effects of plastic from the environment. Customers are now able to voluntarily offset the plastic consumption associated with their online purchases. This ensures that their products reach their customers without compromising on the environment. They hope to empowercustomers to choose responsible consumption practices and manage plastic waste generated through the product packaging, Through their association with rePurpose Global, the brand is implementing the first-of-its-kind solution on their website through which consumers can contribute `1 per purchase towards offsetting plastic footprint. The contribution will enable rePurpose Global to facilitate collection and ethical recycling of low value, single-use plastics at vetted environmental organisations in India.

“At The Moms Co., we go to great lengths to create products that are safe and now by partnering with rePurpose, we are taking our mission a step further by contributing towards recycling the low-value plastic waste.

Through this opportunity, we are the first mom and baby care brand in India that is empowering waste management workers by creating upward mobility opportunities for them,” says Malika Sadani, founder and CEO. rePurpose and The Moms Co. are also in discussions to develop a closed-loop model next year, that will entail recovery, recycling and reuse of post-consumer plastic waste generated through the use of The Moms Co. products.

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January 2020 | 27 Mother and Baby

SHOPPING GUIDE

www.toffy-house. myshopify.com www.ohmsclothing.com www.carters.com www.firstcry.com www.amazon.com

If you have a baby on the way, shopping for those first outfits is a special experience altogther. And we’re here to make sure that your baby makes a style statement, as she makes her grand entry into the world!

Full sleeves tee And lounge pant

by Mini Taurus `429

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Must-Haves Half sleeves party wear romper with bow

by Kookie Kids `579

Full length dungaree with printed inner tee by Babyhug `1,149

Full sleeves teddy print onesie by Yiyi Garden `319

Dungaree with full sleeves penguin patch striped inner tee

by ToffyHouse `895

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Pack of three full sleeves printed vest

by Zero `255

Cotton half sleeves onesie by Simply `575

Half sleeves onesie by I Bears `500

Three-piece polka dot bodysuit and jumper set

by Carters `2,099

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Dungaree style romper with stripe tee

by ToffyHouse `695

Cotton long sleeve romper

by BabyCry `533

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Cotton full sleeves striped vest by Babyhug `199

Two-piece lion French Terry top and striped pant set by Carter’s `1,949

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Printed casual frock by Baby Rabbit `799

Two-piece hedgehog bodysuit pant set by Carter’s `1,499

Cherry embroidered full sleeves onesie by Awabox `1,599

Full sleeves printed sleepsuit by ToffyHouse `645

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Cotton full sleeves vehicle print sleepsuit

by Babyhug `849

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Lig Actor Disha Madan on stepping into a new role with her five month-old son Vian

BY KRISELLE FONSECA VISUALS MOMMY SHOTS BY AMRITA

baby!

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hen actor Disha Madan found out she was pregnant, it took her by surprise. “We did not know how to deal with it,” she says. Coupled with a few upcoming projects that she’d only just started working on, there was this sense of fear and anxiety she went through, because a baby simply just wasn’t a part of the plan. But when baby Vian made his entry into the world, all she wanted to do was “cherish every minute of his existence.” She talks to us about life, playing a new role—being mum to baby Vian.

“I’ve been dancing since I was three, and having been trained in Bharatanatyam for over 20 years, I’ve always had a keen interest in professionally being associated with Arts. I took part in a dance show, Dance India Dance in 2014 and was the only participant to represent Indian Classical Dance from Bengaluru at Top 40. I also won a regional dance show called Dancing Star. I then took my first step into acting as the negative lead on a daily soap in Kannada.

I then took a break for myself and met my husband Shashan Vasuki while at it. Shashank runs a business manufacturing automotive products. The fact that we aren’t from the same industry actually brought us closer! We dated for a while and decided to get married in 2017.

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“We always wanted to have a baby, but it was supposed to happen only after about three years. We never planned Vian. It just happened overnight. Quite literally! My period was 10 days late and I began to panic. Shashank and I were driving back home from work and we thought we should get ourselves a home kit, and see if we were really pregnant. I didn’t even have the courage to buy a pregnancy kit, Shashank did. I was so nervous. We woke up the next morning and took the test and it turned out positive.

“My whole career flashed in front of my eyes. I had just decided to get back into acting. I had a project that I still had to start dubbing for. I signed a big movie and was supposed to start shooting in two weeks, which involved heavy physical activity and stunts. There was way too much happening and being pregnant in the middle of it all was just not what I wanted.

Shashank was not ready either. We had nothing planned out.

This was a big surprise we honestly did not know how to deal with it. Shashank and I had a lot on our plate in terms of our careers, and mentally, we were not prepared for a baby. We both felt like this wasn’t the right time for us, and we even had a fleeting thought of terminating this pregnancy.

“We then called my friend who’s a OB/GYN and fixed and appointment with her. She told us how important a first time pregnancy is and why we should consider having the baby.

Getting pregnant isn’t easy and if this just came our way, we

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should figure it out.The people in our lives too, were so supportive and encouraging of us, that we let go of any and every thought of termintation, that crossed our minds. We went into our first ultrasound, and the doctor checked everything and told us the baby was all okay. After about a minute, he made us listen to a heartbeat, and that’s when all the feels kicked in for me and my husband. We knew this was meant to be.

“As soon as I found out about my pregnancy, even before I told my parents, I told my director from the movie that I had already signed to be a part of. As soon as I broke the news to him, I thought he’d ask me to step down and cast someone else for the role. But instead, he was so particular that I play the role and he said we’ll figure out the rest as we go. He made sure we finished my portions before I started showing. So I was basically shooting through my first trimester. I’ve had incidents where I’ve thrown up in the caravan, gone back home with a

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throbbing head, woken up feeling horrible, but I’m so glad to have kept working through those times. I have immense gratitude towards Pannaga Bharana, my director, who took such good care of me throughout the shoot. We need more men like this!

“Luckily, I had very minimal morning sickness and nausea. I did feel very lethargic though, especially to go shoot! But staying active during my pregnancy helped me recover a lot faster after I delivered. I craved ice creams the most. I probably had a scoop almost every day of my pregnancy! A major challenge I’ve had to face, would be the reduction of amniotic fluid as my pregnancy progressed. The last month was truly stressful because my water was dropping every week and that could have made way for various complications. I was on medication for it, but nothing seemed to help, so we had to induce labour to make sure my baby didn’t face any discomfort.

“My doctor was my childhood friend. My pregnancy was a breeze, thanks to her, and she was there at 4pm or 4am if I need to talk to her. When it came to planning my delivery, she always advised me against it. She told me to take it as it comes and not stress about it. And I’m glad she did.

I’m generally someone that plans every single minute of my life and if I had planned my pregnancy a certain way and it didn’t go as I did, oh boy!

I would get worked up and that would in turn effect my mental health at the time of delivery. I had my complete faith and trust in her and the decisions she was going to make, because the end goal for all of us was to have the baby out safe and sound.

“I watched a hundred YouTube videos, read lots of blogs and I had my bag ready three weeks before my delivery! I think packing a hospital bag is SO IMPORTANT! It just helps your mind be at peace as soon as your baby is out. Basic essentials for you and the baby, is so necessary! I had a lot of things labeled in case I couldn’t reach for it, and my husband or mother had to.

“Since it was an induced labour, I was mentally ready to take on the pain.

I was admitted at 6am and the induction started right then. The pain was very light. Then, a second dose was induced at 12pm. The contractions got quite intense after the second dose. I was in a lot of pain till about 4pm. My doctor came in to check how I was progressing and told me that the contractions weren’t strong enough. We noticed that the baby’s heartbeat was also hitting the roof and falling rock bottom every ten minutes, and figured that he was in distress. When she did the pelvic test, she told me that I’ve got a condition called Caput. My pelvic bones were putting pressure on the baby’s head which means it would be near impossible for a normal delivery. That’s when she decided to wheel me into the OT for an emergency c-sec.

“I was wheeled in at 4:30pm. I was shifted onto the table, the anesthetist gave me a few instructions and my body started to shiver like never before. The AC’s were turned off but I was still really cold. They even gave me an injection to bring my body temperature up, because I was

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assistants the time and she said it was 4:40pm. Turns out, the whole thing just happened in 10 minutes!

I loved the experience of C-Sec. Its such a blessing for people like me who face complications on the table. Just to have my baby out safe, in my hands and not in the NICU because of prolonged complications is truly a boon.

shaking a lot. I was then given the painkiller on my lower back and was told very kindly that I would be numb, chest below, for about four hours. That did freak me out but all I could think about was my baby being okay. My husband was brought in right after that and the first thing he said as he walked in by my side was “How are you baby?

I’m here, let’s do this.” The second I heard him, I knew I could take on anything!

“The anesthetist then told me about how my belly would physically feel, a little rub here and there, and that’s about it. My doctor then told me she’s going to start, and I honestly didn’t feel a thing! It felt as though my belly was being rubbed around. And in what I felt was like about 60 mins, my baby was out with a little squeal! I was so relieved when my doctor pulled him out and said “It’s a healthy baby boy, Disha!

Congratulations.” Then some more belly rubbing happened and the doctors completely cleaned up and left the OT. I asked one of the

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“The first thing they did when he came out was bring him close to my face. He was so warm and soft.

I instantly had my eyes fill up! It was such a magical moment, I’ve never felt anything like it. I had my husbands hand in one hand and my baby’s face in another.

My whole life was so content. The first week was okay, I could barely sleep because of the pain from the stitches. That made it hard for me to pick him up, feed him, put him back down. Just a slight move from right to left was so painful! But my husband was my biggest support.

He was up every two hours and brought him to me. He even held him for 20 minutes, every feed, so there was no pressure on my wound. I don’t think I’d have the courage to do this without Shashank. He was with me for every scan, every blood test, every doctor’s appointment and every late night ice cream binge!

“As the first week passed, I thought “Oh great! Breastfeeding isn’t all that bad.” But I said it too soon.

As I entered the second week, my nipples were chapped. They even bled. They got so sore that every time my baby latched on, the pain was excruciating. I literally wanted to cut my boobs off! This happened for almost three weeks.

But thankfully, it got better with time

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“Post delivery, I’ve had quite a few depressing days. Not being able to sleep enough, not being able to step out—I felt very isolated mentally. My mood swings were all over the place and my husband has had to bear thr brunt of it! I love bonding with my baby every second of the day, but I honestly was so exhausted by end of it. The stitches took almost 15 days to heal and the pain lasted all throughout. I was never someone that slept 8-10 hours a day, so sleep was something I never complained about. I loved having to wake up to feed my baby. I just hated the physical pain I was going through.

“But I’ve been so fortunate to find huge support in my mum. From the day I told her I was pregnant, till today, she has worked selflessly for me and my baby.

From making my favourite dishes every day during my pregnancy to making sure I’m eating healthy and sleeping enough after delivery, she has done it all. She’s woken up at 4am for us and slept at 2am for us. My son adores her and I think that’s all that she ever wants —To be able to spend time with him and watch him grow. I look forward to giving her another grand baby too!

“Life changed drastically! I was someone that would go out for dinners, every weekend, loved catching up with friends every now and then, went out to the mall almost every week for some little work.

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After the baby, I’ve been the opposite!

I never want to step out of the house, take off my comfy pajamas and dress up.

I just want to cuddle with my li’l one and be in bed, all day! One smile from him, and I forget the back pain, the knee pain, the headache, all of it! He always wants to be carried and entertained. He gets so angry when he’s not! Oh, and he smiles at everyone, but no one can make him as happy as his dad does. Shashank is a total entertainer, and a complete hands on dad. He’s always there to step in when work makes it difficult to care for Vian.

“As an actress, I’ve always had this notion that your career takes the first blow when you get married, and the second, when you have a baby. My body went through quite a change, I put on 16 kilos, and in an industry where so much of importance is given to appearances, I was honestly worried. To add to it, I underwent a c-sec, which meant that I couldn’t exercise for a bit. But my only

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priority was spending time with my baby.

My mum put me on a strict diet, and luckily enough, I got back to my original shape in two months!

“I never thought I’d get back to working so soon. I didn’t have a project in hand for the first three months after Vian was born. My good friend and actor, Danish Sait, called me one afternoon and asked me when I’d be willing to start acting again! I said as soon as I had a project in hand. He offered me HPN 2 right then.

I said yes instantly and without a second thought, the director, Saad Khan came over and gave me a gist of the script, and had me on board officially, in just a week.

“I’m so blessed to have opportunities like this. All the pre conceived notions I had were taken away. The younger generation of industry professionals are more accepting. Men, in particular, never saw my postpatrum self as a problem, or a challenge they had to overcome. The

norms of the industry have definitely changed and I’m grateful for it.

“So far, I’ve been doing script readings and look tests with the team, and I leave my son with my mum. I pump milk in advance and go to work. I start shooting soon and I’m sure it’s going to be challenging then. But I will be taking him along to the sets, making sure that my priority is feeding him, and have my mum or Shashank take care of him when I can’t.

“I just want my son to be a good human being. Learn from his fathers good manners, patience and calm nature, take inspiration from my creative side, and mould that into his personality. I would never want to bind him to certain norms that society sets. His mental health is as important as good grades. I’d only encourage my son to do what makes him happy. As parents, Shashank and I only want to do our best in giving him a good education and upbringing.

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Fab Finger nger Foods Chef Shazia Khan, the host of Mother’s Menu on LF channel, shows you how to make your munchkin’s first finger foods a total hit

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our li’l one is becoming increasingly independent now, and it’s time to make the dreaded yet exciting transition to solid foods. At this point, you’re probably wondering how to even begin and despite scouring the internet for trusted recipes, you find yourself feeling way more overwhelmed than you expected. First foods are always the toughest for both you and baby—you’re trying to figure out what she likes and she is wondering about these new textures and flavours. If you find yourself in a fix and the parenting books aren’t working out, these easy recipes will certainly come to your rescue, and have her gobble like she means it!

Stuffed gur mini paratha YOU NEED 1 small ball wholewheat dough/atta dough 1 tbsp powdered jaggery/gur ½ tbsp grated coconut 1 tsp white sesame seeds 1 tsp ghee A pinch of cardamom powder A pinch of fennel powder Dry flour YOU MUST Mix jaggery, coconut and cardamom powder in a bowl Roll a ball of dough to about four inches in diameter.

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Spread ghee using a soon. Spoon the Jaggery mix in the center and join the sides to make a ball again, just like you’d do for any other stuffed parantha. Now, roll the parantha using the dry flour, taking care that it does not get torn.

Sprinkle sesame seeds on top and roll. Heat a tawa or skillet and put the paratha to cook. Once roasted on side, flip and apply ghee. Roast for about a minute and flip again and apply ghee on other side too. Cut into triangles and serve.

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Methi thepla YOU NEED 2 cups whole wheat flour ½ cup besan 1 cup chopped fenugreek leaves ½ cup curd ½ tsp ginger paste ¼ tsp hing ½ tsp cumin seeds/jeera ½ tsp carom seeds/ajwain ½ tsp turmeric powder ½ tsp red chilli powder Salt (optional) Water as required ¼ cup grated cheddar cheese (optional) YOU MUST Mix all the ingredients except water in a bowl. Keep aside for 10 minutes. (Fenugreek will leave water) Add very little water and knead to make a soft dough. Cover and keep the dough for 15-20 minutes. Add a tbsp of oil in the bowl and knead the dough again for a minute. Divide the dough into 10 equal balls. Dust and roll the balls to a six to seven inch circle. Heat a tawa and place the Thepla. Cook on both sides till done, by brushing little ghee. Once done, sprinkle cheese (if using), cover and allow the cheese to melt. Cut into thin long strips and serve.

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Egg with carrot purée YOU NEED 1 egg 2 tbsp milk 2 tbsp carrot purée ½ tsp butter YOU MUST Whisk the egg with a dash of milk and the carrot purée. Add a small pinch of pepper. Heat the butter in a frying pan. Put the egg and cook like an omlette, till done but soft. You can also add some grated cheddar for taste, and cut into mini rolls.

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Corn and broccoli idli

YOU NEED  1 cup suji/semolina(dry roasted)  1 cup curd ½ cup corn (boiled and blended coarsley) ½ cup broccoli (grated) ½ onion (finely chopped)  1 tbsp coriander (finely chopped)  A pinch of baking soda  Salt (if required)  Ghee to brush mould YOU MUST  Mix all the ingredients to form a batter.  Steam in a mini idli mould for 8 minutes and serve.

hef Shazia Khan is the host of Mother’s enu on LF, celebrity chef, teacher, uthor, culinary expert, entrepreneur and homemaker. She also has a presence on arious other YouTube channels, and was recently awarded Celebrity Chef of the Year.

ABOUT THE SHOW Mother’s Menu aims to encourage mums to eat healthy and making well-informed choices when it comes to their child’s nutrition. The show features healthy recipes for expectant mums, newborns, post-natal nutrition for mums and babies, and recipes for fussy eaters from three to nine years.

Expert nutritionist Vasudha Sainik will also talk about healthy replacements for junk food and the science behind a child’s nutrition.

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Bringing home a new baby

Your baby is here. What are the things you need to do straightaway?

Arundhati Nath tells you

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fter nine long months of anxious wait, your newborn is finally in your arms. Your friends and family are excited and you can’t wait to get home. Fun and celebration are to begin when the new member of the family gets home. Here is a checklist on bringing home your new baby.

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LEAVING THE HOSPITAL: If you have any questions about your baby’s health and hygiene, breastfeeding or vaccination, do ask your doctor before leaving the hospital. Make sure to note when you need to visit next for your child’s check up. Dress up your baby in a comfortable pair of clothes, preferably cotton if it’s warm. Avoid overdressing him. You will not fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes yet. It is advisable to dress up in comfortable loose fitting

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clothes. Take your time to get all your post delivery queries addressed to before leaving the hospital. Do not feel rushed.

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THE FIRST CAR RIDE: Make sure to buy and place a car seat to take your baby home safely. It is advisable to use a car seat even if the drive to home is a short one.

It is not safe to carry your child in your arms while your partner drives the car. A single sudden jerk could throw the baby out of your arms.

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THE CHECKLIST OF ITEMS: It is essential to have all the necessary items ready at home before you reach. Your family’s support and partner’s help is very essential here. Here is a checklist of items you will need after reaching home: ● Baby bibs and burp clothes ● Bottles and nipples ● Formula and breast pump ● Diaper bag with lots of diapers ● Nursing pillow, nipple cream ● Diaper cream, baby powder ● Nursing pads and bras ● Crib, cradle, stroller and mattress ● Baby bathtub, soft towels ● Baby soap, oil, cream and shampoo, ● Baby nail clippers, baby brush ● Blankets, mosquito net ● Waterproof linen and baby wipes

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Several baby outfits, a pair of socks, sweaters and a baby cap A changing table to change diapers

WELCOME BABY HOME: “The birth of my baby changed my life and my entire family’s life too. Each and every member of the family was eager to meet the baby, and they took turns to carry and feel the my little girl,” says Nanditha Sandeep, mum to little Sana. Most families would celebrate the arrival of a baby through various religious ceremonies and fanfare. Introduce the new one to the family and see the smiles all around.

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CELEBRATE: Maitri Karthik remembers when her son Atharva was born, her family and friends went berserk.

“Their excitement helped me feel enthused,” she says. We planned an elaborate birth announcement and came up with our own poem for Atharva. We tried several chocolate brownies before deciding which ones to distribute. My friends decorated our car and room for the baby’s arrival home. It was like a mini wedding. In fact, some of them prepared a small dance. We’ve recorded all of it for our baby to enjoy when he grows up,” says Maitri.

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Wondering how quickly you can see your little one smile or when he can wear his first shoe? Here’s your guide for what and when to expect cute baby milestones

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treats like chocolate. But does this mean it’s okay to give your baby chocolate?

No. The answer is - it’s best to wait.

Even though you may love the taste of it and your baby will enjoy it too, it’s best to wait until he turns a year old before letting him have his first bite.

Meanwhile, try introducing new fruits and vegetables after six months instead.

So relax, have a chocolate bar for yourself and know that in a few months little one will be old enough to enjoy it with you.

FIRST SWIM

FIRST SIP OF WATER Most babies will get all the hydration they need from breastmilk or formula for the first six months of their life and will not require any additional water.

But if you’re wondering when can your infant have his first sip of water, at six months, your baby is ready. Be careful though. For, if you give him too much, it can possibly cause a tummy ache or make him too full to be able to eat properly. Giving newborn babies water could also interfere with their ability to absorb nutrients from breastmilk or formula. Well after his first birthday, when he’s eating solids and drinking milk, you can let him drink as much water as he likes. While a few sips of water will not cause any harm to your young baby, you should give water only if your doctor has instructed it.

You are often drawn to the benefits that swimming lessons offer kids, but are unsure of the age they should start?

Babies younger than two months, have low immunity and are vulnerable to illness, so we recommend that you should not take your young infants in to swimming pools or the lakes or the ocean. In the early months, you can encourage him to get comfortable in water by taking baths together at home.

When he is six months of age, you can consider enrolling him in to swimming lessons (make sure they have qualified instructors) or you can join a parent and child swimming class if you find

any. Keep swimming times short at first—not more than 10 minutes, and build up from there. Take your baby out if he starts to shiver or looks like he’s had enough. Because your baby’s body is not equipped to regulate his body temperature well until about 12 months, make sure the water is warm enough for him. Give swimming a miss if baby is unwell or tired. He will be physically and developmentally ready for formal swimming lessons by age three or four.

FIRST OUTING Feel like taking your baby out and introducing him to the outside world?

Unless you’ve had a home birth, your little one must have already experienced his first outing on his journey home.

Considering that you need time to recover and he needs time to build his immune system, it’s safe to take him outside after a month or two. As soon as you feel ready, it’s fine to take your newborn for a short walk or to visit the loved one nearby. It’s best to keep trips short at first, to limited about 30 minutes. When you are out with your baby, make sure you dress him appropriately for the weather. Don’t forget to add or take layers off your baby when needed.

FIRST BITE OF CHOCOLATE Yes it’s so absolutely delicious, it’s only natural that you’d ask, ‘Can I give my baby chocolate?’. When you’ve found something that is so yummy, you want to share it with your child and let him see that it’s a beautiful world filled with

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FIRST UNSUPPORTED SIT At five or six months, he will slump or topple sideways while trying to sit up.

At about eight or nine months, you can see him sitting completely erect without support for the first time. You can help your baby learn to sit by encouraging him to play lying on his tummy as much as possible. Try to get him to look up, by using colourful and noisy toys, or by pulling funny faces and making sounds.

As always, and especially when he’s just learning to sit, be sure to stay close to your baby in case he falls.

FIRST SHOE The moment he takes her first step unassisted, you may be tempted to rush straight to the shoe shop. But, only when he starts tottering around outside the home and needs more protection than socks, consider putting on a comfortable pair of shoes. Shoes are only meant to protect your baby’s feet; they don’t help him learn to walk any faster. Indoors,

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where it is safe, barefoot is best for an improved grip and to encourage good development.

FIRST SHAMPOO Though most of you might wash baby’s hair only with water, he can have his first hair wash with shampoo anytime after he turns eight to 10 weeks old. Initially, you only need to wash baby’s hair once a week. Use a mild, hypoallergenic, fragrance-free baby shampoo. Support his head and shoulders with your free hand and gently massage a tiny blob of baby shampoo onto his scalp. Rinse the shampoo with a damp washcloth or directly under the faucet, cupping one hand across your baby’s forehead to avoid getting his eyes wet.

FIRST PROPER OUTIFT The baby stores will be gleaming with fancy and colourful clothes but you can dress him up in fancy shirts and jumpsuits after 18 months. Till then,

stick to cotton jablas and avoid buttons, bows or tight tees that need to be pulled over your baby’s delicate head. Cottons are the best bet for newborns; they keep their delicate skin safe and off allergies.

FIRST SUCCESSFUL POTTY You have brought all the equipments, made him comfortable, taught him how to use the potty. Now all you can think of is when you can ditch those diapers.

Well, some kids start as young as 18 to 24 months, others may not be prepared to learn until well past their third birthday. Most children become toilet trained by age three or four. Key signs of readiness include pulling his pants up and down by himself and knowing when he has to go before it happens.

Put the potty in an accessible place and tell your child where it is. Encourage him by making him sit on the potty as a part of his daily routine, perhaps when dressing in the morning and before the evening bath. Be sure to praise

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all attempts to use the toilet, even if nothing happens.

FIRST SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT Generally, after four months of age, an infant should be able to sleep at least six to eight hours straight without feeding.

And by six months, he should be able to sleep at least eight to 10 hours without a feed. How can you encourage it? Well, let him sleep. Slowly start extending the time between nighttime feedings until you get there. And don’t rush to pick him up the moment he cries at night.

If he’s not sleeping through the night by six to eight months, it might just be because you’re hitting the nursery too often at night. But you may mention it to your pediatrician if the baby keeps crying and has difficulty falling asleep.

FIRST SELF-FEED It can be exciting to see your little one saddle up to the dinner table with you.

At around eight to 12 months, your child will begin to use his thumb and index fingers to feed himself. Between 13 to 15 months, he will start using a spoon, and by 18 months, he will start using her utensils.

It’s only at age four, that your child will be able to hold utensils like an adult. Until then, be prepared to help out.

FIRST GIGGLE As a parent, it is one of the biggest moments you’ve been waiting for. You will get to see him giggle when he’s around three to four months old. His first laugh may be inspired by something as simple as his favourite toy or activity or pet or sound or person’s face (that would be you or your husband). You can encourage his laughter by talking to your baby often and making funny faces, goofy dance moves or silly sounds. Have fun discovering what makes your little one light up with laughter. Don’t panic if he keeps a straight face at first. At three months, if he is only cooing and gurgling, there’s no cause for concern.

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To new

beginnings! time of the year which the whole world celebrates—The beginning of a brand New Year. If you are expecting your little bundle of joy this year or are a new parent, then this is a very special year for you, as this will be the first of many things to come. Here’s a little sneak peak as to what you can expect as firsts……

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FOR PREGNANT PARENTS A positive pregnancy test can bring about a lot of thoughts, feelings and emotions, but have you thought about all the things that as a first time parent you are going to be treated to?

Meet the EXPERT M&B’ panellist Sonali Shivlani is an Internationally Certified Pregnancy Consultant and a child nutrition counsellor. She is the executive director of CAPPA India, and also trains aspiring birth professionals to achieve certification in pregnancy, birth and lactation counselling.

First Ultrasound: Seeing that little blip and watching the tiny heart beat for the first time can make your heart skip a beat.

questions, discuss concerns and at the end of the session, leave with a bonding experience.

Wave of Nausea: Even the feeling of nausea is welcomed by many expecting mums, as it gives them the sense that everything is well with the pregnancy.

Labour Pains: Even though you may be dreading this one, it is still an experience, and interestingly, after the baby is born, most women will remember it will a lot of fondness.

Movements: Feeling the first flutter, the first kick of life in your belly and experiencing the same with your partner is an emotion that you will never be able to describe.

FOR NEW PARENTS Holding your new baby: This is a feeling that cannot be beaten.

Your heart will melt with all the feels as you hold your li’l one in your arms.

Anomaly Scan: A memory to keep since this is the scan done at 20 weeks, where you will be able to see your baby in full detail. You may want to keep the pictures as a memory in your baby album.

Breastfeeding: The first time your little one latches and suckles with a little hand resting on your breast is a feeling of ultimate bliss.

Maternity Photo Shoot: Don’t forget this one as it can help to create a lifetime of memories, that you and your partner will cherish and look back on.

Prenatal Class Experience: The first time that you walk into a room full of other expecting couples and tentatively ask

Skin To Skin For Dads: You read that right. Dads should also indulge in some skin to skin with the baby. It’s an amazing bonding experience.

Shopping: Wanting to buy every cute item in the store for your mini-me can be a surreal experience. You will really need to control your impulses on this one!

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Doctor’s visits: Even though you will have many many of these, it’s a good idea to have a list of questions ready for your first paediatrician visit as it can help to reduce a lot of anxiety.

Keepsakes: You may want to create some keepsakes—like the hand and foot print, baby’s lock of hair, first pictures, first sounds and anything else that comes to mind to create your very own memory album.

First Social Smile: This is the first milestone which most babies will achieve at around one month of age.

Milestone Memories: You may also want to create a record of all the milestones that your little one achieves—the first sound, the first time the baby rolled over, the first picture of the baby crawling, the first word spoken, the first time the baby ate solids and so on. The first year of life will be a time for many many ‘firsts’.

Your newborn will soon grow into a toddler, a busy child and then an even busier teenager.

The first year is a time to cherish as you will share many memorable moments together. Many cuddles, hugs and tender moments. There will be many frustrating moments as well when you may feel helpless and wonder why you even decided to take on the mammoth job that is parenting. But over the years, as you watch your little one flourish under your guidance and love, this year of firsts will always be firmly etched in your memory.

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January 2020 | 59 Mother and Baby

w Communicate

T with your baby Gain a deeper understanding of how your baby communicates, and put your new skills into practise, and you’ll be surprised how much stronger your connection becomes

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o one knows your baby as well as you. But know a little more and you’ll be able to build an even stronger, longer-lasting bond. Establishing a secure connection between the pair of you relies upon effective communication. This guide will help

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NEWBORN When your baby is born, he already has the skills to immediately recognise and bond with you. ‘A newborn is very quick to develop a relationship with his mother, who usually offers his main means of survival,’ says Victoria. He can recognise your voice and hearing it soothes him, even when he is asleep. He also knows your scent and the smell of your breastmilk. Use these senses to communicate with him with skin-on-skin contact and gentle chatter.

At birth, your baby’s vision is unfocused and he can only ‘see’ to a distance of 30cm. ‘Your baby can detect if you are looking at, or away from him,’ explains Victoria. ‘It’s important to him that you do look at him.’ He’ll recognise you by the shape of your head and your hairline – which is why he may be upset if you appear with your hair up!

He communicates mainly by crying, to prompt you into action and remove the cause of his discomfort.

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you optimise how you connect with your baby. It outlines how he communicates and comprehends, so you can recognise his subtle cues and respond more effectively.

And you’ll find activities to refine these heightened skills.

It’s a self-perpetuating process. Your easily understood

2 MONTHS 1 MONTH After four weeks of life outside the womb, your baby has made huge strides in his ability to communicate. He can now focus his eyes and see details of your face. ‘A baby is intently interested in faces,’ says Victoria, ‘which is important if he’s going to learn vital skills such as language.’ He’ll be happy to gaze at yours for minutes at a time – so let him!

He will also begin to smile purposefully now.

Previously, his smiles will have simply been practice manoeuvres, but now he responds directly to you, in particular to your voice.

‘All babies instinctively start to smile at a very similar age,’ says Victoria. ‘And if you support this early behaviour by copying it and smiling too, they’re likely to do it more. Most parents instinctively imitate their babies and that’s crucial to a baby’s learning.’

Watch carefully and you will notice, from around six weeks, your baby start to open his mouth and move his tongue purposefully. He might also move his hands or arms at the same time.

This is called ‘pre-speech’ and is your baby’s latest communication skill.

‘Recognise that your baby is trying to communicate with you,’ says Victoria, ‘and talk back. This is crucial. Research shows that babies are not persistent. If you don’t respond, they’ll stop trying.

And those babies will learn less than those who get an appropriate response.’

He’ll also have started to UISM ^WKIT [W]VL[ )\ ÅZ[\ these will be vowel sounds such as ‘ooo’ or ‘aaa’, and your baby may get upset if you don’t copy or respond to his efforts. He’ll listen intently to you – watch and you may see him move his body in time to your speech.

He has good control of his eye muscles now so your face becomes far clearer.

Don’t underestimate how much he still enjoys looking

4 MONTHS Physically, your baby is far stronger and uses his body more. Heed his behaviour and try to work out what it means. So if he reaches for an object, communicate that you understand by passing the object to him.

‘Mothers who naturally tend to their babies’ communicative efforts are more likely to respond appropriately,’ says Victoria.

‘And their babies are more likely to learn faster.’

Your baby now hears the sounds you make distinctly and listens to them carefully.

He’ll try to make the sounds you do and will enjoy you repeating these back to him aW]Z ÅZ[\ KWV^MZ[I\QWV ‘It doesn’t matter what you say, as long as you talk back,’ explains Victoria.

‘It’s not just about teaching your baby words and their meanings. You’re also showing him you are a social partner who will reliably respond to him in a predictable way – and that’s really important!’

January 2020 | 61 Mother and Baby

responses will instantly reward and renew your baby’s efforts. The frequency and depth of your interaction will skyrocket and your bond will deepen.

At birth, your baby's brain is 25% of its adult size. But by the age of two, it has grown to 75%, facilitating huge leaps

6 MONTHS By now, your baby is trying hard to get a handle on the tricky business of speech.

He’ll often babble and make repetitive sounds, ‘speaking’ in nonsensical ‘sentences’ to mirror the way you talk. ‘He understands that communication is a two-way process and will anticipate and expect your answer,’ says Victoria. He’ll have mastered all the vowel sounds by now, and about half of the consonants.

Listen to his babbling and you’ll quickly be able to work out those he knows.

As his speech develops, he’ll start to make recognisable sounds. »)\ ÅZ[\ \PM[M _QTT JM repetitions such as ‘ma-ma’ or ‘da-da-da’,’ says Victoria. ‘Respond to your baby with the actual word you think he is trying to say, rather than repeating his babbling, to support his learning.’

He can see you from across a room now and will squeal and coo to get your attention. Respond to reward his efforts.

in his ability to communicate. So be prepared to adapt how you relate to him as his skills develop. Your baby was born with an instinctive wish to interact with you and use all his senses to form a strong bond. So listen to what he has to ‘say’ and discover who this little person is. He is trying to fathom you out too!

12 MONTHS 9 MONTHS Usually on the move by this age, your baby will realise that he is physically separate from you. ‘As your baby starts to become more independent, you might notice him looking back at you to check that what he’s doing is safe,’ says Victoria. ‘If he was with his mum, he wouldn’t need to worry – he knows Mum would make sure it was safe. But without her, he’ll look to check.’ Notice these backwards glances and reassure or redirect him.

His hearing is now well developed and he’ll respond to your voice even if it’s very quiet. Make the most of this by chatting to him when you’re out of his sight. His vision is nearly as good as an adult’s, so he can see and understand more of your body language. His babbling will start to include more recognisable sounds and he’s aware of the power of communication, being more likely to cry if you are nearby.

Your baby may well be able to say one or two words, and can follow simple commands, demonstrating that he understands what you say. ‘Babies understand way more than they can speak at this age,’ says Victoria. ‘Parents are often preoccupied with whether their baby is talking yet, but it’s comprehension that’s important. Babies who understand more at one year do better at academic assessments later in life.’

Now that his verbal skills are coming to the forefront, don’t forget to heed your baby’s body language too.

Notice when he is pointing at an object – he may point with his whole hand rather \PIV I ÅVOMZ [W Q\ UQOP\ not be obvious. ‘This is a JIJa¼[ _Ia WN ÅVLQVO W]\ the name of an object,’ explains Victoria. ‘Respond by telling him all about the object to help him learn.

If you don’t respond, he’ll soon stop trying.’

18 MONTHS Your toddler will now increasingly use language \W N]TÅT PQ[ W_V VMML[ ») baby acquires lots and lots of new words at this point, and it’s important to demonstrate that you understand what he’s saying so he knows he’s got the right word. Show him he’s succeeding and using his language appropriately,’ says Victoria. Pass him the toy when he asks. Tell him the name of the object he’s pointing at. Smile and say thank you when he blows you a kiss. Don’t overrule him every time he says ‘no’, but ask him why he doesn’t want to do whatever it is. He’ll be delighted that you have listened and understood.

‘But the single most important thing you can do is to keep talking to your baby,’ adds Victoria, ‘and give him the best chance of developing his own language skills.’

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Bump To Birth

Hello, new life Pregnancy has perhaps already started preparing you for an unfamiliar way of life ahead. Work, socialising and life is never going to be the same again. Here’s how you can prepare for your new life...

BY ARUNDHATI NATH

T

he day a woman realises that she has conceived, numerous thoughts pass through her.

She’s happy, excited, scared, anxious and overwhelmed all at once. As the initial months pass by, mood swings, coupled with nausea caused by the pregnancy hormones, can make her moody and exhausted. It is essential to prepare physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually to welcome a new phase of your life.

RELAX AND DESTRESS: Dr Kiran Coelho, renowned gynaecologist, Hinduja Healthcare Surgical, Khar feels that when a woman is pregnant, her baby is exposed to everything she experiences—the

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sounds in the environment, the air she breathes, the food she eats, and the emotions she feels.

Hence, it is essential for a mumto-be to relax. “Maternal stress and anxiety during pregnancy have been associated with higher incidence of preterm birth, low birth weight, miscarriage, and slow mental development of the baby,” warns Dr Coelho.

DO YOUR FAVORITE THINGS: During the nine long months you get before the baby comes in, enjoy doing your favourite things. “I had the most number of holidays during my pregnancy as I knew that would be a difficult proposition after baby arrived. So, every other weekend, the husband and I would take off. Towards the third trimester, I made it a point to meet different sets of friends for lunch or dinner. Once a week, I would ask my mum to make my favourite dishes, and I would relish them. Another thing I enjoyed doing was flaunting my bump with borrowed clothes and taking selfies,” chuckles Akshata Sheth, who is now mum to one year old Pari.

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR PARTNER: After a baby is born, a mum’s sole focus is on her newborn. You’ll be sleep deprived and will smell of baby powder while you change diapers

throughout the night. Spend quality time with your partner before you get busy with your baby. Enjoy some child-free sex and take pleasure in going on outings together. You’ll miss these moments later.

ANTENATAL CLASSES/YOGA AND BREATHING EXERCISES: According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, regular exercise helps a pregnant woman keep fit and helps her cope with labour.

Walking, swimming, cycling and aerobics are good options to try.

Avoid heavy sports or stressful exercises which may cause injury or have a risk of falling. You can also join an antenatal class or learn garbhasana at a yoga centre. “Breathing exercises like pranayama ensure a steady intake of oxygen and prepare the woman for the need to maintain uniform and rhythmic breathing during labour.

Focused and relaxed abdominal and low chest breathing skills improve ventilation and enhance relaxation during pregnancy,” Dr Coelho explains.

WORK ON YOUR FINANCES: With a new member being added to the family, your monthly budgets will go haywire. Babies are expensive. There are so many things you’ll need to buy and arrange for. Start saving so

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that you are prepared for the mounting expenses KEEP YOUR SANITY: During pregnancy, people around you tend to give you tons of advice. It is essential to not feel overwhelmed by this unwarranted flow of tips, tricks and suggestions. Learn about birthing and parenthood, but do not get tensed. Palak Shah, a new mum, says, “There were people all around me with their good and bad experiences and stories.

I heard them all and took them with a pinch of salt. I tried to gain mental strength from meditation and would practise it every day for at least five minutes; it was a huge stress buster.”

BE PREPARED PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY: Dr Poornima Ramakrishna, consultant gynaecologist, Apollo Cradle, Bengaluru, feels that getting ready for pregnancy is very important because vital cell division takes from the point of conception throughout the first trimester. “Around the 10-week mark, the growing foetus will be making some critical changes that play a miraculous role in the long-term health and well-being of the baby,” Dr Ramakrishna says. A lot of these changes bring with them emotional and physical changes like mood swings, aches, pains and of course, the piling kilos. Know that all this is likely to happen and is only temporary.

START A JOURNAL: If you haven’t thought of this already, here is the time to start your own book about your motherhood. When your baby grows up, you both can go through it together, and laugh some and cry some.

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January 2020 | 65 Mother and Baby

Tearing 9 out of 10 mothers suffer tears during a vaginal birth

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normal delivery is the best gift that a mum can give her baby.

Experts unilaterally believe in the several advantages of a vaginal birth.

However, despite all the benefits, it can be a physically painful and draining effort for the mum. Also, there is a big chance of vaginal bruising. When a baby is being delivered through the vagina (which, albeit elastic, is also very tiny), it gets distended to at least 10 cm. The anus and anal sphincter is also at full stretch. When the baby’s head crowns spontaneously or during instrumental deliveries (especially if it’s the first baby) then, it is natural to get tears. However, not all tears are equally hurtful or tough to recover from. In fact, most tears heal naturally, or with simple remedies.

Women are nervous about the amount of bleeding that follows these tears, but even that is not a scary aspect. Vaginal birthing is followed by secretion of lochia (much like blood during periods) for a few weeks. A simple sanitary pad is used to contain this flow. However, lochia is not a by-product of vaginal tears. It is internal blood flow following the birth.

Dr Sonal Kumta, gynaecologist at Fortis hospital, Mulund, Mumbai, explains more about vaginal bruises: “Vaginal tears are usually seen following an instrumental or manipulative delivery.

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you apart

Vaginal tearing or bruising is common in normal deliveries.

Reshma O Pathare gives a low-down on why this happens, and how can it be managed A minor degree of cervical tears are invariable, and do not require any treatment; but, extensive tears—which occur in a mere 3 to 4 per cent of women—do need medical attention.

Perineal tears, ie, injuries to the region between the vagina and anus, are classified from first to fourth degree tears based on their severity and involvement of the perineal body—area between the opening to vagina and back passage— anal sphincter and rectum. The first- and second-degree tears hurt only the tissues and outer muscles of the vagina and perineum. These heal through medicines and normal remedies. However, in a few cases, third- and fourth-degree tears can occur, wherein the muscles of the anus, rectum and bowel get hurt. These are serious tears that require major stitches and take a long time to heal.

They also lead to long-term problems for the woman. Though the perineum is stretchy, the baby may need more room during delivery. If the perineum stretches so far that it tears, it may require stitches.

About nine out of 10 mothers tear to some degree during vaginal birth, but most tears are minor.”

TO HAVE OR NOT TO HAVE… AN EPISIOTOMY This topic is a matter of constant debate amongst medical practitioners.

Episiotomy is a surgically planned

incision on the perineum and the posterior vaginal wall during the second stage of delivery. It helps enlarge the vaginal opening for easy and safe delivery. It also minimises overstretching and injury to the perineal muscles. Most episiotomies tend to heal in the first two weeks after the birth. Dr Kumta elucidates, “Episiotomies are of two types: median and mediolateral. The median is made directly towards the rectum. Inspite of its advantages, like lesser blood loss, better healing, lesser post-operative discomfort and lower possibilities of infections, it is less frequently used because it can tear completely to the rectum. Thus, the right or left mediolateral episiotomies, which slant away from the rectum, are preferred.”

Dr Manchanda adds to this: “Episiotomies are, in fact, a better choice than letting the perineum tear raggedly. Ragged/uneven tears are prone to infection and can take a long time to heal. Such tears happen when the woman is being delivered by inexperienced midwives (daais) as is common in rural areas. A properly ministered episiotomy can help reduce the time of labour and heals fast as well with simple antibiotics.”

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SOME POINTERS TO HEAL THE VAGINAL BRUISES NATURALLY ● Change the sanitary pad at least once a day. ● Expose the region to fresh air for a few minutes every day. ● Wash regularly with warm water and a mild soap. ● Wear loose-fitting salwars or trousers to prevent the area from being rubbed. ● Wear cotton underwear till it heals. ● Change your sleeping position from time to time. ● Do not sit in one place for too long; keep moving. ● Wash the perineum from front to back to avoid infections. ● Eat fibre-rich foods to avoid constipation.

THE EXTENT OF DAMAGE / DAMAGE ASSESSMENT Some amount of bruising is bound to happen, whether there is a tear or cut. Bruises are more common when forceps and ventouse (a suction device to assist in the birth) are used to deliver the baby. That’s because the external pressure of these tools hurts the mother’s perineal region. In some extreme cases, prolonged labour, previous tears and use of instruments to deliver the baby can result in rectovaginal fistula. This condition results in breaking the passage between the rectum and vagina, thus causing immense pain, faeces passing through the vagina and flatulent incontinence that may continue for years postdelivery. A few women have longterm perineal pain or problems with controlling their faeces. About 25 per cent of women who have stitches after the birth may have bladder problems or pain during intercourse. Sometimes, faecal incontinence in old women is also linked to serious perineal tears during deliveries in their young age.

THE DEBATE CONTINUES Despite adovates for episiotomies, quite a number of medical practitioners feel that they do more harm than good, and are, in fact, avoidable because they cause long-term problems like more bleeding, infections and painful intercourse.

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Instead, they advocate the use of Kegel’s exercises, light workout and localised massage prior to delivery as a safer way to strengthen the perineum.

However, in case of an episiotomy, women can resort to healing techniques such as cooling gels pads, anaesthetic gels or sprays, sitting on a rubber ring and washing with warm water. With the right treatment, most problems that arise from having stitches can be helped or cured. However, it is best to ask your doctor to suggest a cure depending on the status of the tear.

All said and done, bruises are bound to occur during vaginal delivery. Whether the bruise happens naturally, or through an episiotomy can be decided only when the baby’s head is crowning. If the doctors feel that the perineal muscles will remain unhurt, only then do they forego the episiotomy. There are pros and cons to both.

Natural tears are said to heal faster,

cause lesser blood loss, behold a lesser risk of infection and allow a woman to resume intercourse after delivery faster. However, as has been discussed, episiotomies also have their advantages and are sometimes unavoidable in cases where the baby is large or the woman has had the procedure in earlier births. To sum up, if done in the proper way and if healed properly, these bruises will remain only a distant memory once your bundle of joy comes along.

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new tips for new mums Pregnancy and birth aren’t what they used to be. We asked Dr Meenakshi Ahuja, gynaecologist, Apollo Cradle, Bengaluru to explain new and improved advice that you’ll benefit from EXERCISE TO PREVENT DEPRESSION Studies show that exercise during pregnancy may enhance the quality of life and wellbeing, improve self-image and fitness, prevent excessive maternal weight gain, low back pain, as well as decrease the risk of depression during pregnancy and postpartum.

“Hence, we urge would-be-mums to start exercising in early pregnancy. Regular exercise in the form of antenatal classes, pregnancy yoga, pilates are also encouraged. Earlier, would-be-mums were asked to rest as much as possible while now we advise you to exercise

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as it releases endorphins. These are happy hormones and generate a lot of positivity.

The added energy, increased stamina and improved muscles gained from exercise also helps prepare your body for labour. It also makes women more confident in dealing with discomfort during pregnancy and labour, thus countering depression,” Dr Ahuja explains.

“We also advise healthy weight gain during pregnancy and intake of proteins, fruits and nuts,” she adds.

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January 2020 | 69 Mother and Baby

NATURAL BIRTHING IS THE BEST Mothers and doctors have warmed up to natural births. “Because painrelieving drugs, including epidural injections, carry serious medical risks for you and the baby, and may leave you unable to play a role in your own care and that of your baby,” says Dr Ahuja.

Natural birthing actually helps the mum find her own ways of facilitating birth. The pain of the contractions becomes a guide for the labouring woman, encouraging the baby to settle in and move down the birth canal.

When the pain is entirely removed labour is likely to slow down and become less efficient.

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Dr Ahuja says that recovery is quicker after natural child birth and also gives a sense of achievement to a pregnant woman. “With excellent monitoring facilities available, it is safe for doctors to encourage natural childbirth too.

Pain prepares you for the demands of motherhood hence natural births are encouraged now-a-days by more and more doctors.”

CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY TO SAILING THROUGH YOUR BIRTH Feeling more in control, believing more strongly in your capacity to cope and understanding the childbirth techniques helps to build your confidence.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP Very often most women feel they have no say in the care that is being provided.

But you can speak up! You have the right to ask questions, to get those questions answered, and you have the right to say no. Don’t be afraid to be assertive while in the hospital. It’s easy to feel like you have lost control, that things are being done to you, but you have the right to be in control of your treatment. Also, be patient. Even with your husband, tell him exactly what you need. He can’t read your mind, and he wants something to do to help.

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Dr Ahuja says, “However one should remember that confidence should be built up with knowledge and wisdom about how to deal with pregnancy. Talking frankly with your doctor can put you at ease. Approaching labour with a positive attitude can help you feel less pain, avoid c-sections and feel satisfied with your experience. Antenatal checkups are a confidence building exercise too as they confirm baby’s health. These visits also give you a chance to ask any questions and to talk about any issues that you are unsure about. Hence confidence building is mostly the responsibility of the obstetrician and complete antenatal programme to guide the expectant mum towards her fitness, nutrition and well-being ensuring a smooth birthing process.”

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DON’T GET INDUCED UNLESS YOU HAVE A MEDICAL REASON The primary reason for an induction should be a medical one, such as gestational diabetes or high blood pressure in the mother.

“I would never advise induction on a purely arbitrary or mahurat basis. Not every induction ends with normal delivery and there should always be a medical indication for deciding that the baby is being delivered without a natural start to labour. Interfering with a natural process always leads to unnecessary interventions—including cesarean sections— that substantially increase health and safety risks for mum and baby,” she explains.

Inducing labour before 39 weeks can affect the development process of the baby as research shows, in the last weeks of pregnancy, every day counts for your baby’s development.

So you should understand the reason for your induction.

If your doctor says she wants to induce you, but you’re not clear on the reason, speak up. If there is no clear medical reason for your induction, you do have the right to refuse.

DON’T WORRY IF IT TAKES A WHILE TO BOND Don’t feel guilty if you aren’t bonding with your baby right from the start. That’s totally okay. Parents think that they should instantly feel overwhelmed with love with their newborn and some people do feel that. But for others, these feeling grow slowly over the time as they come to know and care for their baby.

Like any other emotional relationship, developing a connection with your child can take time. The biological changes that you go through make bonding more likely, but it can still take awhile for you to begin to feel close. If it doesn’t happen in the first few weeks, be patient—it’s just part of the process of becoming attached.

As you care for your new baby, you may find that your attachment grows. This relationship will have it’s own rhythms and pace of development. The timing will depend upon you and your baby; your experience of childbirth and your life circumstances have a lot to do with it as well. Remember that you’re showing love to your baby even when you don’t feel like it. When you care for your baby’s basics needs, that’s showing love.

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January 2020 | 71 Mother and Baby

READY,

grasping your finger to ng onto his front, babies ve in leaps and bounds

SET, GO! NEWBORN FIRST REFLEXES

The most exciting change in your baby’s early years is his physical development. “You’ll be amazed at the way he’ll progress physically from a tiny newborn,” says UK childcare expert Rachel Waddilove. Here’s what to expect...

Your newborn enters the world with reflexes so he can survive outside your womb. “He can suck, swallow and root for food when he’s hungry,” explains Rachel. He’ll grip your finger and may also place his feet on a firm surface if held upright. Finally, you may notice your baby startling when shocked by a loud noise. The Moro reflex causes him to fling his arms or legs out and arch his back.

It’s his way of attempting to protect himself.

TRY THIS At this age, it’s important to just make sure your baby is happy and settled – you can encourage his development later on.

1–3

MONTHS

4–6

HEADS UP

Your newborn’s head accounts for a quarter of his body length, so it’s no surprise he finds it hard to control. “As his neck muscles strengthen, his head and trunk control will improve,” says consultant paediatrician Dr Martin Ward-Platt. It’s the foundation for all motor development. His physical progress starts with head control, moves down to truncal, then lower limb.

TRY THIS Introduce five minutes of tummy time every day from birth, lying him on his front on a soft mat.

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MONTHS

ON A ROLL

Between these ages, your baby may be able to roll over from his back to his front – so never leave him unattended on a high surface. “Rolling often happens when your baby starts bending his knees and bringing up his feet to play with them, then flips over by accident,” says child physiotherapist Kate Drake. It’s a key stage in development as your baby twists and turns, transferring weight from one side of his body to the other.

TRY THIS During tummy time, shake a rattle by his head so he’ll turn and roll. Consider baby yoga, too. “The postures give him the chance to stretch and twist, boosting limb coordination,” says yoga teacher Avril Berry.

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6–9

MONTHS

BOTTOMS DOWN

Your baby will learn to sit up as his neck and trunk muscles strengthen. “When your baby wobbles, he’ll right himself without thinking,” says Martin. Sitting is also closely linked to the ability to move and pass objects now your baby’s hands are free to explore.

TRY THIS Prop him up with pillows to limit wobbles and put toys beside him to encourage him to turn. Check his position, too. “Your baby kneels with his bottom between his knees and his feet behind him, which makes a passive W shape,” says Kate. Instead encourage your baby to sit with his feet in front.

8 – 12

MONTHS

2 YEARS RUN FOR IT

8 – 12

MONTHS

CRUISE CONTROL

Keen for a better view of the world, you’ll probably find your baby hanging onto the furniture as he pulls himself up to stand.

Strength in his upper and lower body is needed, along with coordination – skills he’ll also use for cruising, the side-stepping motion he makes while holding onto the sofa for support, which strengthens his leg muscles.

TRY THIS Line up a row of chairs against the wall then place your baby at one end and his favourite toy at the other, so he’s tempted to cruise,” says Kate.

9 – 18

ON ALL FOURS

Most babies crawl by this stage, although not necessarily forwards. “Your baby’s first attempts may be clumsy,” says Kate.

If his arms are stronger than his legs, he might commando crawl, moving along on his tummy, or shuffle on his bottom. While some babies never crawl, it does aid development. “It coaches the opposite sides of the body to work together, and trains hand-toeye coordination, which is useful for later on,” says child development expert Sally Goddard Blythe.

TRY THIS “To get him used to a crawling posture, lie your baby over a cushion, so his knees and hands are on the floor,” says Kate.

He might skip this stage, but if he isn’t mobile by 12 months, see your paediatrician.

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MONTHS

Around age two, after months of walking, your toddler will probably break into a run. After his second birthday, he’ll be upping the physical ante, jumping and climbing on everything.

These kind of skills not only require balance and coordination, they demonstrate your baby’s body is properly aligned.

TRY THIS Head to a soft play area where your toddler can safely practise his running, climbing and jumping skills. He can explore what his body’s capable of. It also helps him understand the limits of his own strength and to see what his body can do.

STEPPING OUT

Your baby’s first steps are the exciting climax to all the skills he’s learnt up until now. While the average age for first steps is around 13 months, it usually happens between nine and 18 months.

TRY THIS Avoid shoes inside. “Being barefoot makes it easier for him to grip the floor,” says Sally. Each milestone is important, so let him go at his own pace.

HOW OUR BABIES GOT MOVING Rania was so happy sitting and watching that she wasn’t bothered about moving at first, but now she runs everywhere!

ANUSHKA GANDHI, 34, from Pune, is mum to Rania, 23 months

I need eyes in the back of my head with Aaryann.

At six months, I showed him how to tuck his knees under him and he took off commando crawling.

NIDHI SAXENA, 26, from Delhi, is mum to Aaryann, 22 months

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Stay cold-snap happy Live smart and help boost your baby’s immunity with these nifty tricks POP A SUPPLEMENT It’s that time of year when bugs are flying around – the cold weather lowers our resistance, plus we stay inside more, so germs are exchanged much more easily.

“If you’re breastfeeding a baby under three months, your main defence is to carry on,” says UK - based GP Catti Moss. “Breastmilk contains all the nutrients and immune-boosting goodness your baby needs. If your baby is older than three months, you could give her a daily multivitamin.”

Once your baby is weaned, you can boost her vitamins through food. “Zinc is known to strengthen your immune system, so it can resist infections like colds,” says UK - based nutritionist Amanda Ursell. Find it in red meat, oily fish and wholegrain cereals. “And studies show that, while vitamin C won’t prevent a cold, it will reduce its severity and length.” Fill up on berries, citrus fruits, dark green vegetables and brightly coloured peppers.

GET FRESH It’s important your baby gets plenty of fresh air, even when you don’t feel like going out. “Vitamin D is a crucial bone-building, immune-boosting vitamin, which comes mainly from exposure to the sun,” says Amanda. “Even in winter, your child gets a little bit of sun whenever they step outside in daylight —20 minutes is enough. Fresh air also clears out her lungs, and going outside usually leads to some exercise, which will boost everyone’s mood.” It also reduces your baby’s exposure to other people’s bugs, so make your way to your nearest park.

WRAP HER UP Grandma obsessed with your baby being wrapped up properly? She may just be right. Although experts are split on this, there is research that suggests being physically cold makes you more likely to catch a bug, as it lowers your immunity. One study, by the Common Cold Centre in Cardiff, found that volunteers who kept their bare feet in icy water for 20 minutes were more likely to develop a cold in the following week than those who didn’t. “Being cold stresses a child’s immune

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system, making her more susceptible to illness,” says Angela Chalmers, UK based pharmacist. “Layer her up with long-sleeved T-shirts, fleeces, hats and scarves. It’s better to take off layers as needed, rather than putting her in one big coat that can cause her to overheat when she runs around.” Take off soggy hats and socks as soon as possible, too— they cause body temperature to drop quickly.

DRINK UP Staying hydrated is as important in winter as in summer. “Water helps our kidneys to flush out toxins, so it’s vital for fighting illness,” says Amanda. In addition, when your baby has a cold, her mucus will be drier and thicker. Drinking plenty of water will help to flush it, along with any other infections, from the body. Breastmilk contains water, so give your baby as much as she wants to keep her hydrated. “If your toddler is poorly and drinking less than usual, water down her favourite juice as an incentive to drink,” says Catti.

DON’T BE A SOAP DODGER You’ve been at playgroup with your crawling baby and not only has she come back filthy, but she’s been mingling with the snottiest kids in town.

“Nothing reduces your baby’s odds of getting ill as much as hand washing, especially once she’s mobile and picking up more germs,” says Angela.

Wash her hands after she’s been around other children. “Hand gels are great if you’re out, but bear in mind, they don’t usually beat the norovirus, which causes vomiting. Good old-fashioned warm water with soap kills nearly all bugs, including this one,” says Catti. With younger babies, wipe their hands after you’ve changed them, and keep toys clean. Until your tot is mobile, she’s more likely to catch germs from shared toys than from physical contact with other children.

RESET HER BODY CLOCK As well as making children cranky, lack of sleep leaves them more prone

to infection. If you haven’t done so already, establish a bed and naptime routine. A recent study at University College London found children who had regular bedtimes slept more soundly. Fresh air also helps them slumber – research at Liverpool John Moores University found that being outside in the late afternoon helped babies and children rest better at night, because it sets their circadian rhythm – their internal body clock.

STICK TO A 10-MINUTE LIMIT Winter takes its toll on your baby’s skin.

“Rain, wind and central heating can leave it dehydrated, dry and itchy, especially as a child’s skin is more sensitive,” says UK - based dermatologist Dr Nick Lowe.

“Baths also strip skin away natural oils so keep water warm, not hot, she further adds. Keep your baby in there for 10 minutes or less to avoid drying her skin.

Afterwards if you want, you can apply a gentle moisturising cream.

FILL UP ON THE GOOD STUFF TOUGHEN UP YOUR TOT’S IMMUNE SYSTEM WITH THESE BABY SUPERFOODS, SAYS NUTRITIONIST AMANDA URSELL BREASTMILK In addition to containing all the vitamins and nutrients your baby needs for the first six months, it’s packed with antibodies that protect against illness. Formula milk is boosted with nutrients, such as vitamin D and iron.

FROZEN PEAS The freezing process ensures peas retain lots of their power-packed vitamin C. They’re easy to add to soups and pies, and you can even throw some in a pan of boiling pasta for the last few minutes.

SWEET POTATO This great winter comfort food is packed with coldfighting vitamin C. Babies can have it puréed, and older children will enjoy it baked and filled with toppings, like houmous or baked beans.

SALMON This contains vitamin D, which supports a healthy immune system. Most children don’t get enough vitamin D in winter, so serve salmon once a week.

MINCE RED MEAT is a good source of iron and zinc, which will help strengthen your child’s immune system.

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GARLIC Its antibacterial properties can help reduce the length of colds and ease chesty conditions. Crush and add it to dishes like soups, stews and pasta sauces—most tots won’t even notice it.

January 2020 | 75 Mother and Baby

The Firsts of Meet the EXPERT Effath Yasmin is India’s leading International Board Certified lactation Consultant (IBCLC), Biodynamic CranioSacral Therapist, internationally certified lactation educator and the founder director of Nourish & Nurture Lactation Care & Parenting Education, an outreach clinic for mothers and families seeking professional clinical lactation management and parenting counselling. Yasmin sits on the board of directors and National Advisory Board of Birth India, an NGO striving for safe and supported birth in India and an active governing council member of the International Association of Tongue-Tie professionals (IATP).

FIRST GOLDEN HOUR A newborn has an innate ability to survive and thrive if we allow the primal reflexes to kick-in, as a sequence during the birth of the baby. During a safe and supported birth within an empowering birth environment, the newborn often undergoes a quiet, alert phase, which has been referred to as the first phase, or simply the Breast Crawl.

When the newborn is placed skin to skin on the mum’s chest, shortly after birth, the baby is able to move closer to the breasts and attach, to initiate suckling. Studies show us that baby’s alertness gradually decreased within 150 minutes after birth, when baby usually becomes more drowsy and sleepy. This confirms the importance of first golden hour being critical to allow integration of many sensory, motor and neuro-endocrine inputs to facilitate a ‘Breast Crawl’ soon after birth. This helps mum and baby deeply bond in a

Breastfeeding natural, undisturbed way and maximise the opportunity for the baby to prime the milk receptors to stimulate and increase milk production for the mum, for the natural term breastfeeding.

During the Breast Crawl, babies use all senses to explore that world of bonding.

The smell of the dark potion of the breasts is similar to the amniotic fluid, which guides in the movement along with eyes to look at the mums’ face. The first golden hour breastfeeding is also a boost to the mum’s ability to improve breast milk production, and facilitate in loss of blood.

FIRST SIX MONTHS Breastfeeding is a normal, natural way to provide growth and development, both nutritionally and physically to babies. Multiple breastfeeding advocacy organisations in the world recommend exclusively breastfeeding for the first six months of life, to support optimal growth, development and health.

Complementary food is recommended to be introduced, mostly around the middle of the first year to support optimal development.

or other food, except remedies and medications when required. It also supports optimal gut flora and microbiome, that behaves as the shield of immunity for the baby, from risk of gastrointestinal infection, diarrhea, pneumonia, otitis media and urinary tract infection, among other risks. For the mum, breastfeeding exclusively reduces the risk for developing postpartum depression, type 2 diabetes, and cancer. Exclusive breastfeeding is also a method of birth control called Lactational Amenorrhea Method of birth control, or LAM. This method has been reported to be 98-99.5% effective in preventing pregnancy as long as exclusivity is maintained, with no mixed feeding methods.

FIRST TOOTH

During the early breastfeeding months, it is important to remember to nurse the baby before offering solids, because mother’s milk continues to have far more calories and nutrition than solid foods. The first six months of weaning, during the first year of the baby, is to explore taste, texture and color of the solid food variety. This is building a relationship with food safely and enjoyably.

It’s that time that many mums dread and decide to stop breastfeeding when they first notice a tooth erupting in their baby’s mouth. Usually, this is because they might fear that baby will nip the breast during a feeding session, or because the mum fears she will be bitten. It’s also the time when many mums experience frequent night waking and frequent feeding for baby.

Infact, this might be the case of fussy nursing behaviour due to experience of discomfort in the gums. The only way baby can find comfort, sometimes, can be suckling at the mum’s breast. During these intermittent phases which run into second year baby’s behaviour at the breast can also resemble staying longer at the breast or even pulling off and crying and wanting to go back to the breast again.

Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months will mean only breast milk without mixing it with water, no other solid or liquids, herbal preparations

This can be extremely overwhelming for the mum, and frustrating for the baby. To help this, teething homeopathic pills have been known to be very

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useful. Also, baby can be given a cold washcloth to chew on before feeds, to help with gum discomfort.

Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy can be extremely helpful as well to help restore comfort and regulation for both, the mum and baby.

FIRST WEANING

Weaning from the breast is usually a slow and gradual process, starting during the time of complementary food introduced, yet weaning is an interactive process between the mum and her baby. It might help to know baby can be completely be trusted to wean himself as his need for security and comfort slowly gets fulfilled over the toddler years, and is not a habit that needs to be broken.

This is a milestone reached at their own internal pace, like walking, talking and other milestones.

La Leche League, an international organisation that supports breastfeeding mothers all across the world, recommends gentle weaning methods rather than methods that might harm the trust in the relationship that has been built with nurturing at the breasts.

Need for sucking is real for babies, which is separate from sucking for nutrition. Sometimes weaning too fast might hamper the milk supply for the mums or might result in babies resorting to thumb sucking, sucking on fingers, hair, blankets and pacifiers.

Norma Jane Bumgarner in her book Mothering your Nursing Toddler says, “A baby is learning to trust and depend on other human beings, especially his mother and to suppose that nutrition is primary significance and that attachment is secondary will be a mistake.� Therefore, helping baby to drop her first feed naturally will be a gradual weaning process, as needs are being met.

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January 2020 | 77 Mother and Baby

The First Time...

You leave your baby with a baby-sitter

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ou may be looking forward to catching up with your friends without having to change a nappy or sing Twinkle, Twinkle, but you’ll probably find you’re on edge the first time you leave your little one with a babysitter.

“It’s natural to feel nervous about leaving your baby,” says UK-based psychologist Cynthia McVey, as she’s the most precious thing in your life. A recent survey found that 50 per cent of mums feel guilty about leaving their baby with someone else and 30 per cent are unable to relax. So it’s a good job we’ve got all the tips you need to have a stress-free few hours away from your precious little baby!

TEAM CREATE A TRUSTED out ed while you’re out with

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BUILD IT UP SLOWgLYto be away for a whole night

If you know you’re goin or ok in a few afternoons without your baby, bo e th prepare you both for to is th re fo be gs in en ev a 10-minute trip to the ith w t ar st n ca s hi “T n. separatio a. “Then atches her,” says Cynthi shops while a friend w until amount of time away gradually increase the ues. in nt le evening,” she co you’re ready for a who few ur baby for those first yo to ay aw ll ca a g in Stay sily if at you can get home ea times will also mean th you need to.

NEFITS r you RECOGNISE THE BEfro m your baby is good fo

Having an evening away the perfect opportunity to s, it’s and for her. “For mum at you’re and remind yourself th by will enjoy some ‘me time’ ,” says Cynthia. Your ba um m y’s od eb m so st not ju her e spending time with ot benefit from it becaus y is to e independent. The ke or m r he e ak m ill w ts adul may be six months, your baby not leave it too late. By e as she becomes more stag going through a clingy t near her. no e aware of when you’r

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Baby & Toddler

Hi there, broccoli!

Do you find it difficult to introduce new foods to your kiddo? M&B comes to the rescue

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or the majority of us, the very thought of food is equally appealing and appetizing. Our festivals, celebrations or parties are incomplete without scrumptious food and drink. We celebrate every happy piece of news with sweets and our guests are always fed well.

Though we adults like to try new foods and enjoy them at our convenience, most toddlers grow to have an aversion to new foods. Deborah Colson, MSc DipION Nutritional Therapist, Thinking Nutrition and author of Optimum Nutrition For Your Child explains, “Babies grow neophobic as they grow more mobile into toddlers; it is a builtin self-protection mechanism to stop them from trying to eat new foods, unsupervised, which might be poisonous.” As parents, we need to keep this in mind while introducing new foods to our tiny tots.

START SMALL: Deborah feels that the best approach to get a toddler to like a new food is to introduce it

very gradually. “Mix the new food into a food that the child already likes. For example, this might mean blending a new food and stirring a pea-sized amount into a whole cup of a sauce. Eventually, you will be adding a large amount of the new food and no longer blending it, then finally giving the food whole and unmixed,” she says. A toddler will start eating new foods this way because he can’t tell that the food is new to him.

ASK HIM TO SELECT: The next time you’re going shopping for veggies at the supermarket, ask your tot to select which fruit or vegetable he would like to buy.

Introduce your child to new foods at the supermarket and take her opinion on which one to select.

The child is more likely to eat a vegetable he has selected on his own. You could also involve him in the serving process like in decorating the fruit salad with a little cream or cherries.

FUN FOOD: You must have observed that products aimed at children are attractively packaged. The colour and look of these packaged foods make them appealing to kids. “As a mum you need to make the new food colourful, attractive, tasty and fragrant to entice the senses,” says Amitabh Pandit, leading nutritionist and author of Superfoods: Make your Child a Genius. You can add cut veggies in attractive shapes; add a little cheese, vanilla essence, cherries or spices like cardamom and cinnamon to make a new food appealing.

MEALS ARE FAMILY TIME: You cannot expect a child to eat carrots if he hears his mum say, “I hate carrots!” Make sure you’re

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eating right while trying to make your kid eat right. Make a meal a daily family ritual where all family members eat the right foods Neha Chopra, film maker at Out of Focus Pictures and mum to two and a half years old Noor started following the Baby-Led Weaning technique. BLW is a great way of introducing solid foods that allow babies to feed themselves—there’s no force feeding and no purées.

The baby sits with the family at mealtimes feeding herself first with her fingers and later with cutlery. “This method helped me to introduce many tastes, textures, colors and smells to my baby. It might seem messy to begin with but the joy of seeing your child developing a sense of independence and developing their hand-eye coordination and chewing skills is very fulfilling,” Neha says.

HIDDEN NUTRITION: Amitabh Pandit explains that hidden nutrition means adding some nutritious fruits or veggies to their favourite foods. You can make the gravy of matar paneer with lauki and tomato, add carrots and radish to her favourite aaloo paratha or chop small bits of fruits with the cornflakes. This won’t make the child fussy and he will easily relish eating a new food.

BE PATIENT: “Getting kids to eat the right foods requires a lot of persistence,” Amitabh says. A child would need time to form a habit.

Counselling also helps him change his eating habits. If a child wants to be good at sports, he should be told that he must drink milk for strong bones even if he dislikes it. You’ll be surprised to see how children respond to such explanations especially when they want to achieve a particular goal.

January 2020 | 81 Mother and Baby

Milking it!

It is important for new mums to understand what milk to give your baby, once she crosses the one year milestone

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very biological being, that produces milk for its offspring, is hardwired to create the perfect formula that will help build the foundation for the child’s long term health and provide for its immediate needs.

At birth, a child is at her most tender and delicate stage, and requires a food source that is specially made for her, until her digestive system develops and strengthens enough to move onto more complex food sources, after six months of age. Breastfeeding is without doubt the best source of nutrition for a newborn and builds the start of a healthy mother-child relationship.

Once the baby crosses the one year mark, she is ready to explore the wonders of food groups beyond that of mother’s milk.

It is at this age that the mum considers introducing alternative milk—commonly cow’s or buffalo’s milk to sustain the child’s nutrition needs before expanding further into other food groups. However, recent research has raised doubts on

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the benefits of cow’s or buffalo milk for human consumption, claiming it to be difficult for the stomach to properly digest, leading to milk allergies.

milk today and is sourced from cows of Western origin such as Holstein and Jersey (due to their large yield). Most milk available in the market today is A1 milk.

Earlier, cow and buffalo’s milk were a staple in an Indian household. Today, the variety of options and sub-types available in the market are vast, and may even be confusing for a new mother. Milk today even encompasses rice milk, soy milk, almond milk, coconut milk, cashew milk—the options are endless. Mothers who are vegan by choice might consider feeding their baby plant-based milks over the typical cow or buffalo’s milk.

A2 milk, on the other hand, is obtained from cows of Indian origin—Gir, Sahiwal etc. A1 milk contains the protein component casein, and when this casein is broken down by the body, it leads to the release of Histidine, which creates Histamine, causing allergic reactions. It also leads to the release of a component of morphine called beta-caso-morphine (which is a habit-forming drug that has effects on the central nervous system)

ANIMAL V/S PLANT BASED MILK Despite the common notion that everyday milk consumption is crucial for a child’s development, this is not so. Throughout her development, a child requires nutrients sourced from a variety of food groups, out of which milk is one option.

A mum should also continue to breastfeed beyond the age of one. Until a baby is a year old, she must be fed only breastmilk. Once a baby crosses one year, her body is able to break down more complex substances. At this age, a mum can introduce more and more semi solid and soft foods, along with animal or plant milk into their diet. An adequate amount of fats, vitamins and minerals is important at this age.

WATCH OUT FOR THOSE SNIFFLES Kids who drink A1 milk have a higher incidence of developing skin allergy (allergic dermatitis), runny nose (allergic rhinitis), asthma and allergic cough, lactose intolerance, constipation, poorer immunity, obesity and diabetes.

Nutritionally, animal milk is higher in fat, calcium and protein than plant milk, which would help build the foundation of your baby’s skeleto-muscular system.

Animal milk is broadly divided into two types, A1 and A2 milk. A1 milk has become the most commonly used

On the other hand, the presence of protein component—Proline in A2 milk releases energy upon breakdown in the body and is greatly beneficial to the child. Indian-cow, buffalo, goat, sheep, camel’s milk is the better and healthier option to be given to a child as all these animals give A2 milk. Keep a close watch for symptoms of an allergic reaction— rashes, a stuffy nose, indigestion and stomach pain, swelling—these could all indicate lactose intolerance or a milk allergy. Also note that the benefits of milk can also be given to your child in the form of dairy products such as cheese, paneer, buttermilk, yoghurt, butter etc.

It is also good to consult with a local

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nutritionist for their advice as the composition of the milk available in your region may differ. Your doctor will be able to guide you if skimmed, low-fat or toned milk would be a better option for your baby. Conversely, plant-based milks are good but may not have the required nutrition content that your baby requires, and most plant-based milks will have to be fortified with calcium and vitamins to provide for your baby’s needs. Plant milks are also low in fat, except coconut milk, which has good amount of monolauric acid. Plant milks are typically artificially sweetened, which is bad for your baby.

Unsweetened and fortified plant milk may be beneficial for those babies who are allergic to animal milk.

MILK IS AN OPTION, NOT A NECESSITY Quite often, mums are used to regularly feeding their children breast milk and may find it hard to break off from this habit when their baby begins to grow older. Particularly in the Indian culture, mums have always been encouraged to give their children a tall glass of milk every day. However, it must be understood that the value of any milk (which is not breastmilk) in a child’s diet must be evaluated in the larger context of the child’s overall diet and nutritional needs. It may be difficult for a child to accept complex adult type of food later in life if the child is got used to drinking excess of milk.

Animal sourced milk contains nutrients in the percentage that is necessary for the baby, but even then by itself it cannot replace the benefits of breastmilk. If a mum wishes to give her baby either animal or plant sourced milk, it is important that she remain aware of the composition of the milk, and use it as a part of the expanded diet of the baby.

By no means should a mum completely depend on regularly feeding her child any one particular type of milk, because no naturally sourced milks apart from

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January 2020 | 83 Mother and Baby

Meet your new

aeroplane

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Introducing a new toys to your child?

Arundhati Nath tells you how to do it right

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o you remember the first time you took your baby to a toy store? She must have looked around in excitement and told you that she wants most of what’s on display. Possibly, you would have had a tough time convincing her to pick one.

Apart from the fun and play, toys play an important role in introducing children to a variety of colours, textures, shapes and sounds. “Toys play a crucial role in children’s life because they improve their senses of hearing, sight, touch and concentration,” says Annapurna Manelli, Hyderabad based mum to an eight month old.

Toys foster a kid’s imagination and creativity while helping them interact and play with a friend.

Eileen Kennedy-Moore, professor for The Great Courses audio/ video series, Raising Emotionally and Socially Healthy Kids says, “Kids make friends by doing fun things together. Toys can be a vehicle for them to do that.”

HOW TO INTRODUCE NEW TOYS ONE AT A TIME: Marianne Szymanski, founder and president of Toy Tips, Inc. and co-author of Toy Tips: A Parent’s Essential Guide to Smart Toy Choices advises parents to introduce one toy at a time.

“The best thing about the early years is that all the toys you have received as gifts should be

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introduced by the level of skill value; once you notice a child begins something new, follow with a toy to enhance that skill,” she says.

PLAY TIME: Anamika Pandey, mum to two little girls, Aditri and Mishika, introduces new toys during play time by playing with them. You can hold out a soft toy of a tiger or dog by telling them,” Look! This is your new tiger or dog!” This will not only interest him in the toy but will also make him remember the names and learn.

TREASURE HUNT: Deepika Zabee, mum to two year old Armaan, says, “I love to introduce a new toy to my kid by surprising him while playing a fun game like treasure hunt. He loves exploring and taking turns while playing.”

This could be an innovative way to introduce toys.

AGE APPROPRIATE TOYS Marianne feels that toys should be age-appropriate mainly because of safety reasons. “No child learns the same as another but advancing toys not matched to a child’s developmental ability can lead to frustration and unsafe play experiences,” she says. We have prepared an age-appropriate guide to toys for your child here.

0-1 year olds

“Mom, dad, siblings and caregivers are the best play things for the first few months,” Marianne says. The interaction and bonding with you, your touch

and voice gives utmost pleasure to your child. She advises to follow with toys that squish, rattle, squeak and promote sensory stimulation. After three months, start with soft stuffed animal toys or balls, rattles, small push and pull toys, large blocks, safe bath toys and small hardbound baby books. Avoid toys with sharp edges, batteries, magnets, loose parts, balloons and marbles.

1-2 year olds

Your child is a toddler now. He loves being mobile. Some good bets for toys would be simple puzzles, picture books, pop up toys and books, musical toys, large non toxic crayons, CDs to listen to nursery rhymes, dolls and dress up accessories, kitchen sets, wooden toys or puzzles, small ride on toys and sorting and nesting toys. Ensure that the toys are well made, big in size, without small parts or sharp edges and are light weight and non toxic. Avoid toys painted with lead or which contain harmful chemicals like cadmium or arsenic.

4-5 years olds

Your kid is a preschooler now and making him play with toys that solve problems would make it fun. Get him basic board games, paints and papers for drawing, advanced picture books, basic musical instruments, basic crafts with glue, round edged scissors and paper folding, modeling clay, cars and train sets, etc. Avoid electrical or battery operated toys or let the child play with these only under adult supervision.

January 2020 | 85 Mother and Baby

Tots Gone wild

If you’re struggling to tame your unruly toddler, it might be time to relax the rules and try ‘unschooling’: the new parenting trend helping kids learn about life

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ince he’s turned two and a half, my son William has gone from being an angelic child whose temperament matches his looks—all smiles and big blue eyes—to a monster. It’s scary. He’s become a scowling little thing, covered in blackmail-begotten chocolate while clutching random items stolen from my handbag.

I love my son, but he rules our (toy-strewn) home like a mini emperor, yelling for biscuits and turning into a immovable plank when it’s time for bed. The other day, when I was trying to clean his teeth, William looked up and said glumly, ‘Please shut up, darling.’ I was clearly annoying him as much as he was annoying me.

Something needed to change. But I can’t be the only mother struggling to enforce rules and often tempted to give up completely. Can I? TIME TO CHILL When I confided in a fellow MOT (mum of a toddler)— my friend Francis, from Los Angeles, who’s mum to Ethan, four—she told me about unschooling, the latest parenting trend to hit Stateside. With links to attachment parenting, in which you let your baby lead your routine, this approach promises peace and mutual respect—two things missing from my relationship with William. The main principle is allowing your toddler to show you how he wants to learn and grow. Instead of obsessing about parent-led ideas, such as table manners and playing with toys you think are beneficial, it’s about indulging your toddler in his passions and intervening as little as possible in his relationships with other children. So, if he’s obsessed with fire engines, go with that and visit a station together. And let him dress in his fireman pyjamas (yep, day and night).

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So far, so normal—you’re probably doing some of this already. But you also let him set his own boundaries. Say he doesn’t want to go to bed at 7pm because he’s engrossed in a game or his favourite cartoon, you consider these things educational tools and allow him to continue until he’s happy to stop. Part of a backlash against the superstrict Tiger Mum style—which sees parents putting value on high standards—unschooling allies itself more with the latest wave of anti-parenting books, such as Jill Smokler’s Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies) (£9, Gallery Books). These suggest we stop trying to follow every piece of advice and do what works for us, making family life easier.

Giving your toddler more freedom than you might normally will certainly nurture his curiosity and creativity, says family therapist Katherine Lloyd. ‘By letting him play hide and seek in the park, even though you’d rather rush back home for lunch, you’re giving him a chance to develop his interests. You’re also showing that you’re acknowledging and responding to them.’

The key is to stop seeing your role as one of parental controller and more one of provider, according to father-of six Leo Babauta, the American author of bestselling self-help book The Power Of Less.

He points out that giving your toddler more independence teaches him to set his own limits. ‘Unschooling is basically just exploring, playing and doing whatever you normally do without relying on the artificial learning environment we call the classroom,’ he says. ‘It prepares children for the future—for being an entrepreneur or being autonomous.’

TEACH HIM TO MAKE DECISIONS Sounds great, but learning how to parent in a new, more democratic way takes a certain amount of skill and restraint. ‘The aim should be to provide a safe space for your children to push limits and develop their passions,’ says

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Katherine. ‘Rather than dictating, offer him choices. For instance, “Do you want to wear your wellies today or your trainers?” You may even have a little discussion about what you are going to be doing and which shoes might be best for the activity. If he chooses to go with the ones you feel are less suitable, just live with it, then use it as a learning opportunity later.’

When it comes to TV, the choice might be between another Chuggington or an extra story at bedtime. ‘Your child gets a certain amount of control and experiences the consequences of his choices,’ says Katherine. ‘This will help his understanding of cause and effect, and he’ll learn to modify his behaviour.’

Could this be the key to a naturally wellbehaved toddler? ‘I think it would work with a child who has a certain amount of self-discipline already,’ says my friend Elizabeth, 32, from London.

She had previously taken the idea and introduced it to her son Rafferty, two.

‘Raffy would just roll in mud all day if I let him. I don’t think there would ever come a point where he said, “Mummy, enough puddles today, I want to learn Spanish.” I reverted back to being to a bossy-boots mum after a month.’

PUTTING IT TO THE TEST Nevertheless, inspired by the theory, I decided to try unschooling for myself. After all, accepting William’s interests could be liberating for me and empowering for him. I would let him choose his games and activities, plus what parts of his meals he ate, when he went to bed and how long his screen time would be.

Yes, I felt more relaxed as I stopped trying to run William’s life on my schedule. However, in practical terms, it meant agreeing to spend an hour admiring diggers on a building site one day, and clearing up more mess than usual the next (‘Yes, darling, let’s pour the pasta shells into a big saucepan

and crunch them up with the potato masher.’) But, while I did get frustrated at the loss of control, the house was calmer because, in theory, he wasn’t doing anything wrong, so I found myself more accepting of his toddler-typical irrational nature. Before long, though, I began to feel that I was being taken advantage of, as William chose not to eat any vegetables—ever. I also sensed I wasn’t doing him any favours.

When he didn’t want to share his toys in the park and it would have been un-unschooly of me to intervene, I just thought what a terrible husband he’d make one day if I allowed this to continue. I also noticed this parenting style was encouraging me to be lazy. For a week, William wanted to watch Jake And The Neverland Pirates on repeat.

The new rules meant he could sit— unbathed, munching on dry cereal—for four hours straight. I could work, trawl the internet and drink coffee… But I felt too guilty to enjoy it.

Taking my cynicism a step further, psychologist Brian Beckham believes unschooling could be detrimental in the long run. ‘Children crave some structure and boundaries—they need something or someone to rebel against,’ he says.

‘It’s the parents’ job to temper freedom with common sense, so their child grows into a well-adjusted adult who can respect authority.’

After a month, I reclaimed the remote control and reinstated the 7pm bedtime.

His freedom was exhausting us more than his rebellion. But I didn’t reject the theory entirely, I just picked my favourite parts. I liked the idea of getting into William’s passing obsessions, as well as encouraging him to take more responsibility for his decisions.

Ultimately, though, I don’t want to be the playground mum with the spoilt child allowed to misbehave in the name of self-expression. And, one day, William’s wife will thank me for it!

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Move it

Shifting into a new h always a tough job. Touse is is multiplied several he stress over if you have a to times hand. M&B promises ddler at to make it easier...

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new house brings with it new dreams and aspirations for the family moving in. However, if you are a mum, you may find the whole process emotionally and physically draining. Since packing, moving and unpacking could be tiring and stressful, having a baby to care for is one more thing to worry about. Here’s our handy guide to make your moving easier: TAKE PRECAUTIONS: Packing and unpacking means loads of mess in the Indian context. Neha Chopra, a new mum has recently moved to a new house in Mumbai. She feels that exposure to dust can mean allergic reactions triggered by dust for you and your toddler—sneezing, coughs and cold, red eyes and irritability. “Keep relevant medicines handy and try boosting your and child’s immunity through Vitamin C-rich foods and fruits. Make sure you and your husband take turns taking children out to play in open areas so that they can breathe in fresh air, instead of sitting cooped in front of screens,” says Neha.

ENLIST HELP: “If you have a baby or toddler moving in with you, make sure you enlist help,” says Nanditha Sandeep, who has recently shifted homes with her toddler Sana. Ask a family member or get outside help if necessary to look after the child while you supervise the shifting. Of course, we can not emphaise enough that you must ensure that the help you hire/ enlist should be trustworthy. Always—at all times—have someone watch over the child and nanny. It is easy to be distracted while there’s so much going on, and this may endanger your child’s safety.

STOCK UP ON FOOD: Children are better off when they stick to their routine. It’s wise to pack enough food and water for him, and offer it from

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time to time. Shifting is tiring and you will need time to settle down. So, it is best to plan out meals beforehand.

Treat him to a new toy: In order to keep your little one occupied, you can consider buying him a new toy or board game. This might take his mind off the shifting process, and help him play on his own when you’re busy with the unpacking.

KEEP HIM INVOLVED: Although a child cannot help much with packing and unpacking, he can be involved in these processes. Talk to your child about the new house and how you plan to decorate it and his new room. Keep him assured that you’ll not leave behind any of her favourite toys or clothes.

PACK HIS ROOM LAST: It is preferable to pack the child’s room last so that there is least disruption in his play and sleep routines. Ask your packers and movers to unload the carton with the kid’s things first at the new house for the same reason. He will immediately feel comfortable and things would be familiar to him this way.

USE YOUR CREATIVITY: After the packers have emptied the boxes in your new home, don’t be in a rush to dispose them off. You can use them to make box forts with your toddler during tea breaks. “The cardboard boxes can keep your child busy for hours, while you get the much-needed time to unpack and settle in, just make sure the scissors and cutters are out of limits! Cardboard play gives your toddler sensorial and free play experience, they can also be up-cycled to make a doll house, play station or anything that tickles your creativity,” Neha says.

CELEBRATE: When you’ve finally reached the new home, take out a few minutes to celebrate with your toddler.

Take her to every room, introduce her to the new place and have her favourite snack to commemorate the shifting.

EXPLORE: After you have unpacked, familiarise kiddo with the surroundings of the new house. This will help him adjust quickly. Look for the nearest playground or children’s park and take him there as early as possible.

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LOOK WHO’S TALKING From gurgles to first words, here’s how to boost your baby’s communication skills

1–3

MONTHS

COOING NOISES

At this age you’ll notice that your baby becomes more vocal, as the screams and gurgles give way to a birdlike ‘coo’ sound. “This is a key milestone in speech development,” says Libby. It’s a sign that the muscles of his tongue and mouth are getting stronger and he’s beginning to understand the link between making sounds and getting a reaction from you.

TRY THIS Mirror his sounds. “Babies love to listen to your voice, so talk, sing and coo back to him, making eye contact,” says Libby. Your child is never too young to make conversation. When your baby lets out a coo, repeat it back to him and he’ll do the same.

4–7

MONTHS

BABBLING SOUNDS

Those first attempts at sounds are your baby’s way of learning how to form words. Around this stage, your baby’s vocal cords will be more developed and he’ll start to experiment with different words and sounds. This babbling will start with repetition of simple vowels and consonants (for example, “ba ba ba”), but will gradually incorporate more complicated sounds until it begins to sound more like the language he hears you using.

TRY THIS Narrate his world. “This is a time when your baby loves exploring the sounds he can make,” explains Libby. Talk away to him about what you’re doing and point out familiar objects. Your baby will understand words long before he can say them, so the more you talk about the world around him, the greater his vocabulary will be. If he has a pacifier, reduce its use so he can talk freely.

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7 MONTHS+

SIGNS AND SYMBOLS

Using baby sign language to communicate has become all the rage internationally in the last 10 years. But while going to signing classes is a great way to meet other mums, does it improve your baby’s speech? “Research suggests it improves your baby’s understanding of language by providing a visual layer,” says Libby. The key is to use it alongside spoken language. If you accompany signs with words then it’s a great way to encourage interaction.

TRY THIS Create your own sign language.

“Watch closely and you may find your child uses his hands to gesture for things,” says Libby. Mirror these gestures and, focusing on just a couple, such as mimicking a drink of milk, repeat and see if he starts to copy.

1 – 1� YEARS

SAYING WORDS

WHAT CRIES REALLY MEAN

1� – 2 TALKING IN YEARS

SENTENCES

By 18 months he may have a vocabulary of around 50 words and could even start putting them together. The sentences will be simple and the words may be in the wrong order.

But this is the first step to becoming more fluent.

So he might say, ‘Me want juice’ or ‘no like nani’.

TRY THIS Give lots of praise and rewards. “If he says, ‘Go park’ for example, show him you’ve understood by saying, ‘You want to go to the park?’ then reward him by carrying out his wish,” says Lauren. Once he sees you respond to his words there will be an incentive for him to say more. Children develop language at very different rates, so if your child isn’t saying much by 18 months, don’t worry. If he isn’t putting simple sentences together by age two or showing understanding, it’s important to speak to your paediatrician to check his hearing, among other things.

From around 12 months your child will use simple words such as ‘cup’ and ‘hot’. “From this point you’ll see a huge development,” says Libby.

He’ll understand much more than he can say, for example identifying people, body parts and objects, and will also start pointing out familiar things and trying to say their names.

TRY THIS “Rather than getting your child to parrot you, which he may find hard, prompt him to say the word instead,” suggests Lauren Woodcock, a speech and language therapist.

Instead of saying, “Say ball, say ball” point to his ball and say, “This is a...” and pause. He’ll delight in telling you the answer. Don’t pressurise him or worry if he isn’t word perfect. “There’ll be mispronunciations,” says Lauren, “But he needs encouragement, so if he points to a cat and says, ‘tat’, praise him by saying, ‘That’s right, a cat’, which reinforces the correct pronunciation without him realising.”

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FRANCESCO Guicciardini said, “Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.” Friendships are as important for your toddler as they are for you. Kids learn about love, empathy, kindness and caring for another through interaction with other children. Valuable social skills including good behaviour and solving misunderstandings are imparted naturally through a bond of friendship.

Here is a checklist on how you can help your kiddo make new friends.

BE A ROLE MODEL

TALK ABOUT FRIENDS

Children often learn behaviour and communication skills from the way their parents behave or communicate.

Be a role model for your child. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, professor for The Great Courses audio/video series, Raising Emotionally and Socially Healthy Kids, feels that parents can model good friendship skills through good communication in the family, having fun together as a family, and showing that they value spending time with their own friends.

“Start from just talking about friends or listing/brainstorming some qualities of good friends with your children; like being honest, friendly, sharing, kind, talking in a polite manner and respecting each other,” says Kashika Dabra, pychologist and counsellor at Delhi Public School, Gurgaon.

You can also explain clearly by doing a role play of a good friend.

OPEN UP OPPORTUNITIES Eileen feels that the most important way to support children’s friendships is to give them opportunities to make friends. “Get your child involved in activities that can lead to friendships, such as sports or clubs,” Eileen says.

Take your child on social visits to your friend’s or neighbour’s homes and get them interested in activities which will make them interact with other kids.

SCHEDULE A PLAY DATE

Friends?

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Do schedule play dates at home with classmates or neighbours whom your child likes. “One-on-one play dates help your child deepen friendships. For new friendships or children who are shy or have trouble getting along with peers, inviting other children over for an activity and keeping the play date to no more than two hours can help,” Eileen says. Make sure to talk to your tot about how a guest should be treated before he comes over. Make him understand that a host should behave well and a guest should be well looked after.

Your baby will soon have to get social to maintain healthy development. Here’s how you can get your tot to make new friends

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BE AN OBSERVER “Parents should let children get to know each other instead of trying to make an official introduction,” says Aarti C Rajratnam, parenting expert and co-author of Parenting: Innocence to InnerSense. She feels that children need skills to relate to the peer group and that can come only when they meet each other regularly, in a noncompetitive environment and have opportunities for age appropriate play.

Parents should be silently supporting the children without intervening much.

MEET THE PARENTS Always try to make friends with the parents of your child’s friends. “We made sure that our children interacted regularly. We would visit each other

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houses or meet down in the garden and let our children be. Gradually they started interacting and had lots of opportunity of free play and unstructured interaction,” says Neha Chopra, mum to Noor.

TEACH SOCIAL SKILLS Research suggests that when parents talk more about feelings as they come up in books, movies, or real life, children become better at imagining other people’s perspectives.

“Teach social skills directly by guiding your child to think through a situation or practicing through role play; this works better than just lecturing,” Eileen says. Discuss questions like: “How do you think you should respond to that?”

DO NOT COMPARE Never compare a child’s ability to his or friend’s. This can not only result in low self esteem in the child, but can also have an adverse effect on friendship by giving rise to feelings of jealousy and hatred.

BE PATIENT Parents must be patient and have reasonable expectations about their child’s social skills. Kashika feels that children develop the ability to become more mutual, reciprocal and empathic over time. “Most twoyear-olds will not share easily. Many preschoolers (and school age kids) don’t play well in groups, but do well in pairs.” she says.

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call. A date. Nail-biting excitement. Butterflies in the stomach. What shall I wear?

Oh, but it’s not what you’re thinking. It’s a call from the preferred school with a date for the interaction leading to panic/ excitement-driven nail biting and stomach churning. And what should the baby and husband wear?!!!

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“Has he been registered?” asked in the same tone as “Has he had all his shots?” is a seemingly innocuous question posed invariably by the parent who has already ‘registered’ his or her child. This question can pop up anytime post the arrival of your baby. I was asked when our son was 13 months and then started my spiral of chaos, anxiety and fear about

which school and admission procedures.

“Registered? For what?” I queried back.

“School, of course,” said the man, “Don’t you know you have to pre-register your child in Mumbai? We registered Guddu when he was two days old.” This was an acquaintance from South Mumbai and apparently some even register at conception!

My ‘phone a friend’ in crisis to several friends revealed that they had not heard of this early enrolment process and the general consensus was ‘chill, our tots are too young for school.’ However the wheels had been set in motion and ‘now what?’ was the question.

Two years down the line, we have just finished with the admission process and

were fortunate to have our baby get into the school that was our numero uno choice. The fact that this school also started its procedures before the others helped immensely. We did not have to apply to all on the list and then wait endlessly.

As a new mum or for that matter new parent, the first exposure to the concept of school is daunting. It’s been years since we were in school, a lot has changed, the arrival of the baby has had us in a blissful cocoon of family bonding and now bang – our darling, precious, delicate baby who has barely even rid himself of diapers needs to be introduced to socio-cultural communication and it is back to classroom basics for us.

Now that your toddler is ready to move from preschool to the real thing, here’s what to expect and tips to deal with the entire process of picking the right school

Rights of

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If you too are at the planning-on-school stage, get ready for an emotional roller-coaster ride. There is a lot to think about and discuss with your spouse and family. Here’s a list to get you started and hopefully ease off some of the tension...

Select a preferred board or type of

Discuss the schooling you received.

Chat with your child about the

schooling. The options are plenty – SSC, CBSE, ICSE, IGCSE, IB, Gurukul, Montessori and even Home Schooling.

Introspect and list out a set of priorities with your expectations from a school. Have your spouse do the same and then compare and discuss.

Be ready to compromise. If ideologies on schooling are different, some amount of conflict is bound to be generated.

Think about features like merit lists, extra-curricular activities, playground, air-conditioned class rooms, canteen quality, fee structures, weekly offs, proximity to home, quality of teachers, options for further studies either abroad or within the country.

Make your own wish list with pros and cons of the schools in your vicinity.

List the schools in your area. Ask yourself if you would relocate to provide your kid the education you want to give him? Young children need to feel secure as it builds a foundation for confidence. In the event of any unforeseen eventuality, can you get to the school quickly and easily?

Some schools openly demand hefty donations. Will these schools feature on your list? Will peer pressure guide your decisions regarding this issue?

Does the type of children that attend the school affect your impression of the establishment?

Advice will pour in from everywhere.

This leads to confusion. Stop. Re-look at your list, interact and take opinions but don’t be driven by them. Steer clear of people or information that make you anxious. Keep to your priorities. The important thing is to know what you want from a school and work towards that. Don’t be swayed by the herd mentality.

What struck you and your spouse as the most relevant or striking and what made lasting impressions on you?

Chat with your parents. What were their priorities for you? If, as grandparents, they will need to be involved with the schooling process, discuss all the aspects that will require their input and time.

Visit the schools yourself or call and get information. Don’t go by hearsay.

Get a feel of the place, observe and notice the people you meet, the outside of the school, the playground, the classrooms, the students, the discipline, the washrooms, the maasis that assist kids, the security at the gate, the canteen, the laboratories, the history of the school and more. It is your right to ask pertinent questions. Your child will spend most of his waking hours here.

Registering at birth or earlier is a very limited trend and tends not to exist where many new schools are opening up.

List the schools preference-wise. Find out admission-form dates and take it from there. Call and re-check with the school from time to time.

Be yourself at the interview and interaction. If your child has been to a preschool, there is no need for additional coaching for the child or parent. Admission coaching classes are excellent marketing, ingenious, alternate urban professions.

Age-appropriate questions are asked of the child and all educators of any merit know what to look for in young children. They are sensitive to behavioural patterns and realise that extraneous factors such as waiting long hours, hunger, fatigue, change in routine can affect the child and these are taken into consideration.

process and give him a heads up too.

Even better, take the child along on the first familiarisation trip and gauge the reaction.

Don’t fret if you do not hear a positive reply from the first school on your list just look to the next best option. You can always retry at a later date for the school of your choice.

Finally, heave a sigh of relief first when you have selected your preferred options and then at every step until you have the letter of admission in your hand. Sing, dance, celebrate and frame the letter if getting it was fraught with sleepless nights and endless tension about which, where, when, how much, will we, won’t we.

Been there. Done that. Best of luck.

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