Freshwater Literary Journal 2021

Ruth Pagano The Wedding Dress What excitement! I thought my days were over. But here I am. I have just been purchased on eBay for Jennifer’s wedding. At least I will be out of this house of despair. I actually like Jim, but Karen leaves a lot to be desired. I was worn at their wedding reception when Karen’s mother insisted upon having a postwedding reception at their Golf course country clubhouse in the Garden of the Gods. I was picked off the rack impulsively, I think as Karen’s mother did not approve of the other dress choices that Karen liked. Sure, I was traditional, very lacey, Victorian, pale champagne and tea length so I could be worn again.

No, Karen was not going to choose a white-white dress after sleeping with Jim for six months as well as several other eligible men before that. But Jim loved her, his mother liked her, even giving up her widow’s diamond for their engagement ring. I really liked the reception, photos from every angle and lots of celebration. I certainly played my role of making Karen look good. Strange there was no alcohol served at the reception. A party is always more fun and livelier with at least champagne and wine flowing. Religious restriction, I guessed.

But when Karen and Jim got home, she let her guard down. What frustration it must have been, no alcohol for 72 hours. All those AA and Alateen meetings and counseling with her parents. What good were they? So, no alcohol at the wedding was probably a sign to her parents friends and relatives that surely Karen was “cured. “ Jim did not mind a drink or two. A nice glass of wine before the elaborate dinners she wooed him with even relaxed him. However, as the months rolled along and I hung in the closet of their apartment, I could hear the bickering after dinner about who was supposed to keep the house clean and why could she not have at least a cocktail before dinner. Karen would get up at night and have a few shots of whiskey to avoid Jim’s suggestions on how to cut back on her drinking. No, he would not have another glass of wine, there was no reason to rush through the bottle.

I did get out to several parties that they both enjoyed. One was his holiday company dance and another a wedding of her workmate. I certainly looked nice and enjoyed being dropped to the floor when they got home and were hungry for sex. But back into the closet I went in the morning, but I could still hear them and see her as she chose what to wear to work that day.

But the conversations accelerated into arguments and then when he was away on business, she would choose me to hit the casino down the street. Hour after hour we sat playing those slots; she accepting the free drinks every hour she continues to sit there. I was beginning to smell like smoke and booze combined. She never had me cleaned but I was happy that she chose me to go out.

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