Live @ the lounge

Yeah gidday. Lizard here. How’s it all been going?

These are definitely confusing times, hanging out on our tiny island at the bottom of the world.

It feels like we’re all holding our breath, half expecting someone to sneeze into our faces and the tide to rush in through the ranch sliders. Reminds me of that old adage about the bloke who fell off the 10-storey building and on the way down said, “So far, so good.”

The other day Lizard Junior drove me into Titirangi Village to score a coffee from one of the several hundred joints that compete for my caffeine dollar. Dollar? That'll be the day. More like a fiver.

For those so inclined, the chemical formula is C8H10N4O2 and it’s a stimulant for the nervous system. Yeeha. Believe me, when Junior is driving, you sure have a system that’s nervous.

While Junior was texting Tierra, his latest BFF, he looked across at me and asked, “If I send an emoji to Tierra of two apples close together with a love heart, do you think she’ll know I mean she has a hot butt?”

He didn’t get that class from his old man. I used to make a mixed tape of mainly Zeppellin and ZZ Top songs for Shaz. Rest in peace brother Rusty Hill. Thanks for the awesome music man.

We tried out a new coffee place. I forget the name. Reminded me of that little blue pill the old or needy need. Oh yeah, The Rise. It was OK. Really busy. Same old faces but.

Way back, on a road trip to Timaru with Shaz and her mum, we stopped in at some roadside tearooms for a 'pot of tea’. Shaz’s mum was horrified when the girl brought out a ‘mug' with a teabag in it. Not the usual tea leaves in a teapot with an extra pot of hot water for seconds. It was like we were wiping the cake crumbs from the sides of our mouths on the hem of the Queen's frock. I hadn’t expected Tierra to turn up. Junior must have told her we were in town. She sure is a show stopper. Every head in the place turned in her direction. Tierra is a five foot nothing, full-on Goth. She’s all blacked out eyes and clothes. Still, at least she never has to worry about mixing colours and whites on wash day. She’s actually really cute and very kind-hearted. Most importantly, she seems to get Junior and he takes some getting. He told me that Tierra was once possessed by a dead altar-boy. “That’s why she can speak Latin Dad.” He’s a bloody worry that boy. Tierra is Gay Gary's daughter. He and Manaia had her before he went completely gay. They all still get along just fine and see each other heaps. Quite the amusing family picture. A Goth holding hands with her very Māori looking mum and her very camp looking dad. Not sure how she got the white-as complexion, but she definitely got her Dad's sweet nature and her Mum's quirky sense of humour.

Check this out: before Gay Gary and Māori Phil tied the knot, they went through a slightly rough patch. Gary went over to Manaia’s to talk things through. Later she said to me, “When a man cries, nothing feels safe.” Wow. What does that even mean? I love it.

Well, that’s about all that’s going on in my corner of paradise. Watch out for each other and please try not to look over the neighbour's fence.

Catch ya later, Lizard.

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