A 2ND ACT {stories of perseverance}
FINDING THE WAY Becoming upstanders rather than bystanders Judy Pearson | Contributing Writer
This is the story of parents experiencing the unthinkable, and then doing the unimaginable.
if Bobbi would speak at the conference to be held three months later. Bobbi agreed.
When beautiful and talented Kaity Sudberry was 16, she began dating a polite, respectful and caring young man. About six months into the relationship, he became possessive, jealous and obsessed with knowing her every whereabout. Six months after that, Kaity realized this was an extremely toxic relationship and broke it off.
Researching for the conference, Bobbi discovered staggering domestic violence statistics. At her next grief counseling session, she told her counselor she was sick and tired of crying. “I just feel like I need to DO something,” Bobbi said. The counselor, together with the ASU professor, planted the seeds that would blossom into Kaity’s Way in 2009.
Shortly after the breakup, Kaity’s former boyfriend assaulted her. With both the police and school officials involved, he was suspended from school. However on his return, he assaulted Kaity again, this time being expelled. But his erratic and threatening behavior persisted via phone calls, prompting Kaity to file an injunction against harassment. Five days later, on January 28, 2008, Kaity was walking home from school. The young man grabbed her from in front of her house, pulled her to the side yard of the house next door, and killed her with a shotgun. Then he turned the gun on himself. Three days later, a neighbor approached Kaity’s grieving mother, Bobbi Sudberry. The neighbor was an ASU professor of women’s studies who was putting together a conference on domestic violence. She asked 44 FRONTDOORS MEDIA | JULY 2018
The organization’s mission is to advocate for healthy teen relationships by providing education, skills and tools to youth and their allies. “Everyone is a solution to this problem,” Bobbi said. “It’s an epidemic, a societal disease. So the inoculation must come from society, too.” The organization uses the “P.E.A.C.E.” approach — Patience-Empathy-AcceptanceCaring-Equality — in all of its work. And that work includes workshops and speaking opportunities anywhere and everywhere. Their target population is young people ages 13 to 24, but for maximum success, Kaity’s Way must also reach parents, court and law enforcement personnel, middle and high school teachers, community college instructors and medical professionals.
