1. BORN LOSER
You’re so ahead they tell me, So why does it feel like everybody is two steps ahead of me? Born last Achieve last Win last. My life Is like a mental period cramp, No pain killer can soothe me. I am a forgotten species, The girl who never spoke But had so many questions in her mind, Sometimes I wake And go through life like the ghost of a Dodo.
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2. (H)ART
Where does my creativity lie? In areas of untapped potential, Anger issues – symbolic of a rocky past, Pain, regret, unwanted wishes. Giving my all (to you) causes me to tremble, Like wind is hitting me in every direction And I picked the wrong day to wear a scarf.
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3. ???
Feeling useless isn’t good enough anymore; For a time it was. I am overcome With a desire to do more, Know more. Kuti to music, Wa Thiong’o to literature.
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4. OCTAVES
Why does it seem That the sun burns brightest when it sets? Drought Rain Day Night We have been trapped in the circle of life .
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5. DESIRE
Am I, As a woman Supposed to go through a checklist Of things that make me desirable? A part of me doesn’t want to, But a part of me does… I’m so inconsistent with my feelings What I have is never enough, I’m so gluttonous with my expectations Satisfaction is what I lack, I’m so tired of my anger Confusion pops up I’m so done with my tears They’ve all dried up, I’m so done with people’s expectations Yet, I still look them up. I need a solution. Something to keep me afloat Before I dip into this green sea of dissatisfaction.
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6. FIN
An ambulance car passed me the other day And I couldn’t help but think How one life can begin When another one ends, How a moment of joy Could be someone’s sadness, How the moon eclipses the sun Isn’t it fun To sit down and worry? To think about living instead of living, Lungs collapsing Because they’re struggling to breathe Am I responsible for how I feel? Or should I count on someone else To tell me how I should feel?
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7. END CREDITS
Artwork – Sharon (Basquiat) Neema
Words – Victoria (Odua) Muthiani
That’s it.
Thanks for reading.
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