Life & style
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guilty pleasures J’A dore: How do you feel about people who refer to mistresses as “whores,” “marriage wreckers,” “manipulators,” etc? What do you say to them?
images By: Faith Ambrose, SweetFX Studio
confessions of a
mistress In part one of a candid interview, J’Adore enters the mind of a professional athlete’s mistress. words By: Rob Littal
With the tragic death of NFL quarterback Steve McNair, a lot of eyes were opened to the covert side of some professional athletes’ lives. It’s a side that exposed the fact that some pros are not monogamous. It also disclosed how some women can be swept off their feet by fame and fortune.
People wonder how such indiscretions make the wives of these athletes feel, but the story presented here offers a different perspective. This is an account from a young woman who isn’t the “wife,” but claims to be treated as such. How does she feel knowing that in the eyes of the “first wives club,” she is perceived as less than a lady and in many cases, a home wrecker? That “her man” has a wife and kids at home, but still reaps the benefits of dating a millionaire celebrity? Obviously, her entire existence is affected both positively and negatively. The following is part one of an interview from a woman who was once a mistress of a NFL player for almost five years. Names have been changed to protect those involved, but the relationship is real. Meet “Tina” and her account of an affair with an athlete.
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Tina: I understand why they use those terms. Most people don’t see a mistress as a woman just like themselves. Some mistresses are all those things; there are some women who target married men. I can’t speak for those types of women. I can only say who I am. I am a Christian, God-fearing mother, sister, daughter, niece and friend. Was I wrong for loving a married man? Yes! However, I don’t know any perfect person; my sin is just a little different. It’s no smaller or bigger. It’s different. I never saw myself as a woman who would accept sharing a man, but it happened. I didn’t know for almost two years [that he was married] and once I found out, I know this will make no sense to you, but his marriage wasn’t real to me. Our love was real; I dealt with who I knew him to be. I don’t know who he was when he was at their house, but inside our world, he loved me and wanted to be with me, but because of timing he had married her before our love came. He married her because he was tired of whoring around. His grandmother was dying and thought she was a good choice. He never thought real love existed, so how could he plan for it? I wasn’t a monster; I didn’t sit home and think of ways to get him to leave her. No, never! I loved him and love isn’t selfish, so my love for him made me want to remain cool with the arrangement. I made the decision to not be all over town with him because I knew the hurt of hearing about him creeping. Hell, he was cheating on me, too! I was crying the same, if not more, tears than his wife when I would catch him. I dealt with the truth of knowing he was in her bed minutes before waking up early to cuddle with me at our home every morning. What
are the pros and cons of being the mistress
instead of the wife?
There [are] no pros. I guess for whores, the pro is the money and the trips without the stress of commitment. But for me, there were no pros. Money and things, I would have gotten from any man I was with. Sure, he was on a different level, but I would have never been with a bum. Cons? You lose your self-worth. You begin to second-guess everything you know about yourself and you start believing that this is what you deserve–being someone’s second or secret lover. You learn not to trust
anyone. Girls become your friend just to meet the men you know and talk about you. Men, once they know you have accepted the role as a mistress in your past, they treat you as such. You really have to reprogram yourself after you find the strength to end it. Share some of the things that he provided for you while you are in the relationship.
I quit my job a week into our relationship. He provided everything! I’ve gotten a new car every year. I currently drive an Audi A8 2008. I have a two bedroom condo in midtown Miami. I also own my own company, which was started with money he provided. My daughter has been in a private school since 2005 and, again, I haven’t worked since 2004. I started my company at the end of 2007 but all my bills have been paid up until December 2008. How did it finally come to an end and could you share the conversation recently you had with his wife asking you to come back?
I sent him an e-mail. After trying to forgive him for sleeping with my close friend, I just couldn’t. I stayed up and cried and wrote him a simple note: I can’t do this anymore. Please let me go. He has written, called and I’ve seen him, but loving him was killing me. I don’t have anything else to give, so it’s not even something I think about. Yes, I miss him; I have lonely nights, but I pray for strength and press on. His wife loves him and because we had been in this situation so long, she knew when we were having problems because he was a terror at home. She called me recently to tell me she was worried about him; he is just staying in his office and not leaving the house. He told her I wouldn’t see him and with all the changes he is making in other areas of his life, he feels like I abandoned him like he was played. She asked if I would please take his call and at least explain why I left so that they could start the new phase of their marriage, a marriage just between the two of them. Please read the interview with “Tina” in its entirety online at jadoremag.com. J Rob Littal is the founder of BlackSportsOnline. com, a Web site that covers sports and entertainment in both written and video formats.
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