FTM Magazine | Issue 6 by FTM Magazine

MODEL OF THE YEAR | BENJAMIN MELZER PAUL GRACE PHOTOGRAPHY FTMMAGAZINE.COM

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

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BATTLE the third annual

BEARDS of the

THIS MARCH: The third annual Battle of the Beards brings together the fairest of facial fuzz to show off our grooming and genetic combinations. Last years winner Oliver Ace Davies can be found in our Summer 2015 issue and this years winner can be found in the Summer 2016 issue.

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

Every year FTM Magazine celebrates the efforts made by members of our community through a nomination and voting process called Blank of the Year. This year we had record participation and added many new categories. To check out the winners and those nominated in each category visit ftmmagazine.com/blankof2015

FTM WINTER WINTER 2016

ISSUE 8

PAGE NUMBER TRENDING: 8 SOCIAL: 10 CLEVER CULTURE: 12 HEALTH & FITNESS: 17 SPORTS: 19 THE SELF MADE MANUAL: 20

STYLE GUIDE: 28 LAITH ASHLEY: 31 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT: 35 COMMUNITY: 40 TRANSWERS: 46

Available at: ftmmagazine.com early2bed.com packerlocker.com toolshedtoys.com Guest Writers ftmmagazine.com/submit

“

Photo by Sthefanie Souza

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” —Steve Jobs “It’s hard to do a really good job on anything you don’t think about in the shower.” —Paul Graham

“

Timing, perseverance, and ten years of trying will eventually make you look like an overnight success.” —Biz Stone

Here we are again, another issue and another letter from me. Since the last issue I got married! It’s been really nice, and I’ve had emails from younger trans men’s mothers about how it gave them hope that their son would find someone that loved them too. While those were happy letters, it broke my heart to think back on my life and where I was when I was there too. There have been many decision I made with my heart that were also made with my fear of no one ever loving me because of my trans status. I can’t tell you how to find love or to find someone who sees beyond that, but I can say to always be true to yourself, your feelings and needs and the rest will fall into place. It always does. As far as the magazine goes, I feel as if this entire time I’ve been in the mind set of an artist, or a graphic designer with a project. A project I was so close to emotionally that when negativity was directed at the magazine felt like negativity directed right at me and this baby I’d created. It wasn’t

until I was standing on a beach in Florida, people watching, when I knew the switch I had to make. I owned a business now, and like it or not I have to treat this like a business and not an art project. I’ve started reading books and listening to motivational speeches on YouTube. I’d highly recommend Rich dad, Poor dad by Robert Kiyosaki. Changed my life. As we release issue 8, I can’t help but thumb through issue 1 and see all of this growth. This quarter has been a period of progress for me as a person and for this community. Every subscription that comes in, I can’t help but smile now knowing that someone liked this venture enough to want to see the next four issues and what’s inside. Jason Robert Ballard

JRB

FTM WINTER Model: Laith Ashley Photographer: Nelson N. Castillo Grooming and Styling: Irving St Irving Creative Director: Jarrid Jones Enigma Studios NYC

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

TRENDING|NOW: Tell us about it @ftmmagazine

Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders tweeted “In many states, it is legal to deny someone housing for being transgender. That is wrong and must end.” - Sanders has made a promise in his campaign for transgender individuals to sign into law any “bill that prohibits discrimination against LGBT people.” Which puts him in our spotlight for best candidate running.

Point 5cc Clothing Company, recently awarded FTM Magazine’s Clothing Company of the Year, has released new graphics that we’re really feeling. We can’t help but notice that the designs are outdoorsy and fun, much like founder Aydian Dowling’s Instagram photos have been all year with his wife, combining what he loves. Shop now at Point5ccClothing.com

The photo above, of photographer and model Sawyer Devuyst, made it’s way through social media platforms over the captain “There’s Finally Period Underwear for Transgender Guys” From Cosmopolitan Magazine. Company THINX has released a masculine version of their product, as well as changed their slogan from “Women with their Periods” to “People with Periods”. Perhaps hygiene products everywhere will move towards gender neutral products.

Party at the White House! Jake Graf, known for his film Brace, also worked on The Danish Girl. Graf was invited along with the team of two other transgender productions to screen the films at the White House.

Model and Gym enthusiast Benjamin Melzer is the next guy up for the battle for a Men’s Health cover. Men’s Health Germany is running a similar contest to the one in the US featuring Aydian Dowling. Based on voting, like Dowling, he’s way in the lead. Will Germany choose the clear answer, or play it safe?

Remember the guys from that Google Ad video from Kansas City? They’ve made it inside of Men’s Fitness Magazine for their work in The Union, a fitness group dedicated to the needs of trans men. The guys of The Union are featured in our Fall 2015 issue, as well as the December issue of Men’s Fitness.

FTM Magazine has been accepted into a periodical publishing company and is scheduled to be on shelves of major bookstores by mid-late 2016. Of the bookstores they cater to, we’re the most nervous and excited about Barnes and Noble bringing us in to their stores.

Fitness coach Shawn Stinson competed in a body building competition specifically for trans men and has walked away with the 1st place title for the second year in a row. We look forward to seeing if his winning streak lasts, and who brings him down if it doesn’t.

#noshavenovember on Instagram has blown up since well… November 1st. Leading its tags and being featured as the main screen trending photo; Aydian Dowling and his freshly shaven face. This means out of all the photos tagged no shave November on Instagram, his had the most likes.

A music video titled Brave Man by Will Young, told the story of a young trans guy as he strips down naked and walks through town and a mall. The video hit home to all those that experienced gender dysphoria and was extremely emotional. To see the video visit ftmmagazine.com/braveman

Interstate 71 in Warren County, Ohio, is now dedicated to the teenage trans girl that took her life nearby. Reports say they chose to do this to shed light on the struggles the community faces.

Comedian and actor Ian Harvie, gave a Ted Talk for TEDxDirigo on November 12th. Harvie is best known for his roll in the Amazon web series Transparent. His Ted Talk was definitely an ‘idea worth sharing’. To watch it, visit IanHarvie.com

Get Social with us Hey Readers, want to see your face in FTM Magazine? So do we! Please post a picture of yourself with the magazine to social media (Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, or Facebook) with the hastag #ftmmagazine. We pick our favorites and publish them here each issue. And if you tweet your pics to @ftmmagazine you will likely find yourself favorited and retweeted by us!

editor’s pick

“In case you haven’t seen it or subscribed yet, you’ve got to check out FTM Magazine! It’s full of fun things, important information and messages, and helpful products for our community! You can learn more on their Instagram.” - @gorillashrimp

“I came home today to find the Ftm magazine in the mail that my mom ordered for me. I would personally like to thank Malcolm for the opportunity and everyone with Ftm magazine for choosing my photo to be used for his article. In no way am I trying to become famous. I like my privacy, but I thought this was really cool.” - @grown_one

“Hey ma! My first magazine feature! Seriously though...so excited and honored to be featured along with 3 other guys from our fitness group, in FTM Magazine. Very cool experience all around... I can’t thank City Gym enough for being such a great and welcoming space and helping create endless opportunities for the group.” - @drewKC “10 copies of FTM Magazine going out to some Midwest guys that are not able to make physical support meetings due to work or transportation issues love seeing community helping community.” - @theunionKC

SNAP OFF: Next issue’s #ftmmagazine Editors Pick will receive a Free “Property Of FTM Magazine” Hoodie and $5 OFF their next purchase.

“A candid shot with my new copy of FTM Magazine. Yeah, baby! Feeling very lucky to call the FTM mag team friends.” - @jake_graf5

twitter: @ftmmagazine | facebook: facebook.com/ftmmagazine | instagram: @ftmmagazine

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

CLEVER CULTURE

WHAT TRANS LOOKS LIKE

rans looks like the evolution of the mind to me. The understanding that gender is a fluid concept. We see so much visibility in our media now and it represents the fight we have ahead as well as the victory we have accomplished. A time where labels no longer seem to serve their old purpose. I grew up in Jamaica and many may think it is the most homophobic country in the world- in fact it is of my own opinion that the only difference between Jamaica and the UK, is the UK has laws to protect against trans & homophobic abuse. My advice to anyone living in Jamaica and experiencing gender dysphoria is to be confident in who you are and be respectful to yourself.

ctually at the beginning it was very hard for me to be open about being a trans guy, so for a while I lived stealth. I spent years thinking about it, and remembered how I felt as a young boy, and that there was nobody I could look up to or ask for advice. I’m now trying to become the best version of me! I work really hard for my body and I’m very focused on who and where I want to be in a few years. Some people say I’m just a face, but I really have something to say! It’s a tough journey you need to go through but it’s all worth it. In the last few years, I have met so many beautiful people who I guess I wouldn’t have if I wasn’t trans. The positive feedback to my Instagram page is just unbelievable. There was a guy, 47 years old, who sent me a message that said “after 47 years you finally inspired me to go be myself and start transitioning”. How cool is that, huh? You guys out there always remind me why I’m doing this and that’s the biggest gift you can ever get!

Since I was a little boy, male models in fitness mags were a big inspiration to me, but to imagine that I might one day have the opportunity to be on such a cover myself was unreal. So far away, and out of my reach. I’m now trying to get on the cover of Men’s Health Germany, which is as big a deal here in Germany as it is in the U.S. I’m the first trans guy in Germany to go for it! There needs to be more visibility for trans people in the media and people need more education on the subject. Trans people are all beautiful and we should not forget that we ALL have to travel this sometimes painful journey. In my opinion there’s no space for hating. We should stand together and lift each other up instead of beating each other down! Live, love and laugh a little more. Don’t forget where you come from. Be patient. Stay strong. Look forward. Work hard and BELIEVE!!! #muchlove for y’all • • • Benjamin Melzer @egoshooter Photo on page 2/51

I want to add that my life has not all been about transitioningwhich is something we miss sometimes in pursuit of our true self. Today, I create personal videos of my life to inspire others who may feel down, blog, speak and stand as a proud owner of PureGender.com. The most important accomplishment today for myself however, has been rebuilding my life with family and close friends. Now I am blessed to meet complete strangers who quickly become like family and it’s from going through this journey of transitioning that I have learnt to smile. I wish for whoever is reading this to know, given the right attitude towards life- it does get better. Be crazy enough to be yourself, because as I always say ‘Crazy People Live Longer!’. • • • Romario Wanliss/MrBlackBranson

A special thanks to Jake Graf for coordinating this feature, as well as the guys involved, and Paul Grace Photography Studios

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

Blank of the year

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

CLEVER CULTURE

WHAT TRANS LOOKS LIKE

Kieran Damien Moloney: @kierandmoloney | Photo on page

was born in Wellington, New Zealand, a place that still haunts me every time someone asks where I’m from. I didn’t have anyone to look up to, guide me or give me advice, and I was extremely lonely. Every morning I would start my day the same, digging deep to pull myself out of bed, standing in front of the mirror feeling sorry for myself. Then out into the world where I would be laughed at, abused and bullied. Unfortunately for me it wasn’t just verbal and I ended up in hospital after being badly beaten for “thinking I’m a boy.” I still remember the faces of the guys that night. It’s something I’ll never forget. One day I’d had enough, and knew I deserved more than this.

Better than this. I didn’t need someone to save me, I needed to save myself, to believe in myself. I would envision a bright future, I would picture top surgery and make little steps towards getting there. I stopped focusing on the negatives and began to make positives. Soon I found myself starting to gain strength, comments spat at me, bounced off. I was saving for surgery, and finally doing well! People only hurt you if you let them, and I wasn’t letting them anymore. I was alone but I was on a mission, and promised myself that I would look back on this one day and laugh! Transitioning is hard, but it builds you and moulds you into someone extraordinary. It makes a person

that this world is lucky to have. It takes someone incredibly brave to stand up and say this is who I am, even when the world is looking down on you with judgement and hate. I refused to let society break me. I had a right to be happy, just like anyone else. I’m now on the other side of the world with the woman I love, making great memories, friends and loving life like you wouldn’t believe! I got myself here. I stood up and said enough. I saw a brighter future, I believed in myself. Once you start believing in yourself you can do anything! • • •

’ll admit that a few years back I was too embarrassed of being transgender to live my life to the fullest. I thought that if others knew I was trans, they wouldn’t see me as a ‘real man’. Over time I learned that it’s nothing to be ashamed of - in fact, the journey I’ve been on is something to be proud of! Being open and honest with the world has benefited me in so many ways. My confidence has grown, I’ve been given career opportunities I would have never had otherwise and I’ve met the most amazing girlfriend I could ask for. Not only that but sharing my story has helped people understand, and other trans people with self-confidence and coming out. I now use my creativity and passion for comedy to make lighthearted educational videos, and I implement my trans experience into my writing and comedy sketches. I’m all about being positive and moving away from the sympathy vote - proving that you can be trans and live a successful, happy life and most importantly, not take life too seriously. Some people now ask me why I’m so open about being transgender and in response to that I say, because it’s not a big deal - it’s such a small part of who I am, it doesn’t define me and it certainly doesn’t make me any less of a man! First and foremost I am a comedy writer, actor, boyfriend, son, cat lover, tea drinker... For me, ‘being trans’ looks like this! • • • Lewis Hancox www.youtube.com/MrLewzer

Continue on Page 48

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

HEALTH&FITNESS

THE ANATOMY OF A GYM BAG

THE SHAKER BOTTLE Shaker bottles can be found at Walmart or Target for minimal investment. They come with a metal spring ball that helps to completely mix your protein shakes or pre-work out powder into your water. You can also take the ball out and use it exclusively for water during your work out. THE TOWEL Most gyms will provide towels but sometimes it can come up that you need your own. After showers at the gym, towels designed for sweat and keeping the equipment clean might not fit all the way around your waist. Your own towel can provide that coverage.

THE HEADPHONES Whether music pumps you up, or you feel insecure at the gym, headphones and music can get you mentally prepped to hit the gym. Cardio is significantly easier with a beat in your head. You may even just have them in your ears if you feel a bit self conscious at the gym, then no one will approach you about anything. THE SOAP A plastic soap dish is a key item if you shower at the gym. This will keep your clothes and internal gym items safe from a wet bar of soap rattling around getting all over everything.

THE GLOVES Workout gloves can protect your wrists, as well as your palms from blisters and strain. A good pair can cost anywhere from $12-$25. It’s a good idea to throw these in the washer occasionally as sweat and bacteria can build up within the glove.

THE DEODORANT Post shower or pre workout, this is a no brainer. Maybe you like the after gym funk though and can hold off until you get home. However, if your gym trip is between classes or during your lunch hour, this is a good thing to have around.

A SNACK A snack of some kind is a good idea to pack for days you may push too hard or forget to eat before hand. Pushing yourself can cause low blood sugar or a weakened state that can be rectified by trail mix or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This is especially important if you drove to the gym.

THE BAG And last but not least, something to store all of your stuff in in the locker. We’ve found that simply having a gym bag increases the desire to hit the gym. It makes it simple to grab the bag and go before you can talk yourself out of it. Throw in a pair of shoes and a gym outfit and it’s all set to just go when you get that urge. Want all of this stuff? Tag us on Instagram in a photo of you at the gym with the hash tag #upgrademybag and be entered to win all of this stuff. No purchase necessary.

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

INTERVIEWED BY LEO REICHSTETTER

SPORTS

anyone else in the fitness industry and they wanted someone that had a story. When I read that, I thought I should give it a shot, it has been my dream since I was young to be a bodybuilder and become a sponsored athlete, but I never thought that would be possible because I’m trans and I’m not ideal for the cookie cutter image that most companies want. I definitely have a story that I want to share and it would be a great way for me to share my story if I did win this contest. If I win this it won’t just be a win for me, but the transgender community to gain visibility. This will be a win for the transgender men and woman who never got to live out their dreams because they took their own lives or their lives were taken because they were different, and this will be a win for society to show that there is great change happening in this world. FTM: What is your favorite way to exercise? Adam: I love old school training. My personal opinion is nothing beats the aesthetics of Arnold’s days. I usually just stick to weight training in the gym. To most that can be boring doing the same thing day in and day out, but I love it. Usually the one thing I switch up with my training is cardio, like most people I get bored with it so I like to find a variety of things for cardio. Some days ill do some boxing, some days I do circuit training, it all depends on how my body feels. I go off more of how my body feels rather than a strict set training schedule.

FTM: Why are you interested in being a bodybuilder? Adam: Through my transition I haven’t had much of a say on how I wanted things to turn out or look. When I had top surgery I didn’t know how it would turn out and if I would be happy with the way it looked. When I started hormones I couldn’t control the changes that were going to happen or how quickly or slowly they would happen, I didn’t know how deep my voice would sound or how thick my beard hair would be. Bodybuilding gave me the ability to control something for once in my life, whether it was how big I wanted my arms to be or what percentage of body fat I wanted to have. I had the ability to control all of that. To me bodybuilding is a beautiful art, I’m the artist and I get to create the vison that I have in my head. Through bodybuilding I have been able to sculpt my body in ways that I never thought I would be able to. It has not only physically strengthened me, but it has also mentally strengthened me. Working out gives me a chance to be by myself and shut the world out and be alone with my thoughts, the good and the bad. That alone time has given me the ability to truly understand myself and what I want out of this life. Bodybuilding to me is much more than just picking heavy things up and putting them down, it has truly changed my life and given me the confidence to be who I am regardless of what others may think. FTM: What interested you the most about the 1st Phorm contest? Adam: I’ve been following 1st phorm for a while now and kept on seeing a contest that were having to sponsor an athlete. I would always think about entering, but looking at all the people who are in the fitness industry I didn’t think I would stand a chance of winning. I don’t have a six pack and some incredible body. Then a couple of weeks ago I went on their website to see what the contest was all about. They didn’t want a cookie cutter athlete that was like

FTM: What tips do you have for beginners? Adam: Find your training style that you love. Not everyone wants to lift heavy and train for hours on end and that’s fine. Living a healthy lifestyle is about finding something that you enjoy doing. You might hate lifting weights and love doing Zumba, who knows, just get out there and get active. Do research on how to exercise properly with the training style that you choose and always use the correct form because if you don’t do things properly then you won’t develop your muscles properly and you run the risk of injuring yourself. So study up or think about hiring a personal trainer to show you things properly.

“Bodybuilding gave me the ability to control something for once in my life” FTM: How do you handle being trans in locker rooms? Adam: The honest truth is I don’t think much of it. Just like every other guy in there I go in there to change and do what I need to do and get out. I think It’s just about walking in there with confidence in who you are and that’s it. There’s no need to draw attention to myself. FTM: Who/what is your inspiration for working out? Adam: The reflection I see in the mirror inspires me. Before I had top surgery I would look at myself in the mirror and cry because I despised the person that stared back at me. I was disgusted with what I saw because it wasn’t the person that I felt I was. I look at the mirror now and see how far I have come and how much I Continue on Page 48

THE SELF-MADE MAN|UAL™

raveilghter! TL Crossing the threshold of the men’s washroom, it’s everything we’ve looked forward to since the first weird look we got in the women’s. It’s full of foul odors, foul noises, foul hygiene, yet surprisingly tidy. Welcome to the troff, gentlemen, here’s your map.

The Men’s Room

P THINX reworks brand to include trans men

photo via thinx

We have many names for it: that time of the month, shark week, periods, menstruation, feeling under the weather, hell week, and many more. This is a very difficult thing for many trans men to deal with from the very first time it starts. Until that part is physically removed, it is a worry for many of us for years after it seems to stop. Just because it’s a difficult topic doesn’t mean we shouldn’t talk about it. This is something

Many people love the so-called “sweater weather,” but to trans men who are still binding every day, it is one of the best season changes of the year. Here are a couple of tips to help your binding stay effective but comfortable.

Layer:

The more layers you wear, the less apparent your binder seems to be. Start with your binder, then maybe a snug undershirt. If you throw on a baggier sweater, flannel, or hoodie, no one will be able to tell what’s on underneath. Take this opportunity to wear one size up on your binder to allow yourself to breathe for the day!

that we have to deal with, and if you ignore it, problems will come up. What is the best way to handle your period? It comes down to personal preference. There are the most common ways of using sanitary pads or tampons, but those are almost exclusively advertised towards very feminine women. Certain brands, such as Kotex U have more of a plain packaging, which can help alleviate some dysphoria that comes with buying these products.

Pads and tampons need to be purchased every so often, so what if you could just go to the store for that once a year? Look into menstrual cups such as Diva cups. They’re similar to a tampon, but instead of absorbing they collect and are emptied throughout the day. Simply wash and reuse them (there are single-use versions as well). A big question guys have is “How do I wear boxers and still deal with this crap?” There are two answers: switch to briefs for a few days, or opt for just tampons or cups. The latter option can be risky depending on your body, so make sure you’re playing it safe.

A new option is Period Panties by THINX. Period Panties are exactly what you think they are: underwear that function as a pad. Check out the website, it’s pretty neat. And they debunk all of the thoughts running through your head about how gross that must be. The best news is, they’re coming out with a line for men and nonbinary persons in the near future! The only permanent solution for dealing with this part of our lives is to get those organs removed. Consult a health professional for more information on what your best options are for that, but in the meantime we hope this guide is helpful! • • •

Polos:

WINTER LAYERING FOR IDEAL BINDING Wear darker clothes:

Darker clothes are inherently seen as more masculine, but they also don’t show shadows that might give away your problem areas. Wearing darker clothes where you’re insecure about your body, and brighter clothes in other areas draw the attention away from those insecure parts as well!

Fit your form:

Wear clothes that are fitted for your body type. For example, if I wear the jeans that the average cis-man wears, it only accentuates my natural body type. If I wear a more relaxed cut, it gives the illusion that my hips and thighs are more boxy and masculine.

Many people forget that polos are a great way to dress masculine. They can be layered, they are usually darker, and they come in different cuts. Polos usually have very broad shoulders, so make sure that you get the smallest size that fits if your shoulders aren’t filled out. This will help you achieve that triangle frame for your torso. Remember to always bind safely! Never wear a binder that is too tight, and only use binders that are designed for this use. There are resources for free binders all over the internet, please use them if you need to. • • •

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

THE SELF MADE MAN|UAL™

raveilghter! TL

THIS KIND OF PACKING Get it in

Now you’ve got all the things you need in a pile ready to go into our two bags for carry on. Does it all fit folded up neatly? If so, have a great trip! If not, the first thing we suggest is to roll your shirts. Even dress shirts, most hotels have irons if you need them. Next, place the legs of your pants in the luggage with the waists dropped outside. fill the bag with your rolled shirts, underwear, socks, belts, accessories, etc. Then fold the waist of your pants into the bag on top of the pile.

Unless you’ve got the hook up of a traveling credit card, checking a bag can cost you anywhere from $25-$50 dollars for your trip. Ditch the checked bag and carry it all. How? Unless your trip is longer than two weeks, we’ve got you covered with these tips.

What can you carry on?

One personal item, meaning a back pack of sorts, and a classic carry on luggage. Carry ons typically run 22” x 14” x 9” - Or in other words, the luggages labeled ‘carry on’ when you’re purchasing them.

How to pack

Leave the hoarding attitude at home! If you’ve packed a nice dress outfit, dress shoes make sense. Do four different flip-flops make sense? The most important item here is underwear, especially if you won’t have access to

“Who’s bag is this?” - TSA and prosthetics Before my honeymoon I had consulted a few friends on whether or not to mail my prosthetic to the vacation spot, or to travel with it. In the end, I chose to travel with it. As I put my bag through the scanner and stood in my socks waiting to have it returned, the TSA staff picks it up and asked who it belongs to.

My sense of humor didn’t allow me to panic, but I can see how others would. He opened the bag for about three seconds and as he was rezipping my bag he leaned forward to me and said “we’re very discrete here sir, she just didn’t know what it was on the scanner, have a great day!” and returned my bag.

a washer or drier where you’re going. Next item to give more room in your bag to is shirts, because you can wear the same pair of pants several days. Pick out one to three outfits, remembering you can mix and match to create more. Look over your itinerary and decide whether you’re going to be in dress clothes the entire time, or if you’re likely to wear the same pair of shorts with different shirts on the beach for the weekend. Pack accordingly.

Save your back pack for two pairs of shoes, your lap top, camera, and anything that couldn’t fit into the carry on last minute. Remember to pack your 3oz toiletries into a zip lock and leave them in the top zipper space on your carry on for easy TSA access. Most bags have an extendable extra space zipper, but stuffing your bag too full could result in it being too wide for the upper carry on storage bin. You’ve done it! Skip the luggage claim line, have fun on your trip, take loads of pictures and treat yourself to dinner with that 30 bucks you saved. • • •

FTM MAGAZINE | FALL 2015

THE SELF MADE MAN|UAL™ 8 Weird Facts About the Men’s Room 1. Men will only wash their hands if someone else is watching.

2. Sometimes men will walk into a stall to pee and not shut the door, causing people to walk in on them.

3. It’s not so much that they’re peeing on the seat, but that the distance the pee travels from body to bowl makes the water splash up onto the seat.

4. Farting, heavy sighs, and grunts are natural

sounds we’ve heard come from the urinals and stalls.

Who are you with?

This is a very important question to ask. If you’re not out to someone before starting your transition, you should probably go with the restroom that they expect you to use. Especially if you’re not expecting them to be supportive of your transition.

Where are you?

School/work can be tricky. These people see you every day, if you’re in a small school they have known you your entire life. It is probably best to find a gender inclusive restroom if possible. Otherwise find one that has low traffic so that hopefully you can use it alone. When it comes to the time that you want to start using the right restroom, make sure that you consult a teacher, guidance counselor, supervisor, or HR to make sure someone is on your side. If you’re at the mall, a sports event, movie theater, or just somewhere that is busy and has some anonym-

ity, feel free to try your preferred restroom. Be sure to take note of your safety first! If you feel that you’re not being perceived as a guy, maybe marching in the men’s room isn’t safe for you yet.

What’s in there?

It’s actually pretty common for men’s rooms to not have doors on the stalls. In nicer places it usually isn’t a problem, but at sports facilities and bars this is pretty common. If you have a friend who can go in and scope things out that is your best bet. It can be intimidating to think that any guy can see you doing your business, but 99% of guys will not think twice if they even notice you in there. They will assume you’re doing a #2 or that you just wanted to rest your legs. Just like anything else in life practice makes perfect. After a while it will no longer be scary to go into the elusive men’s room and you will be a pro at ignoring everyone else in the vicinity.

REFUGE is a web application that seeks to provide safe restroom access for transgender, intersex, and gender nonconforming individuals. Users can search for restrooms by proximity to a search location, add new restroom listings, as well as comment and rate existing

listings. We seek to create a community focused not only on finding existing safe restroom access but also looking forward and participating in restroom advocacy for transgender, intersex, and gender nonconforming folk. Available in the App Store

5. Everyones flow is different, some are steady

streams, others will have to work to get a few drops out… No idea why.

6. General rules of operation and polite behavior dictate that one stall or urinal should be left between you and the next guy.

7. If there is only one stall and you’re waiting for it,

the polite thing to do is to wait outside. The men at the urinals sometimes feel watched if you’re standing there looking at them. Even if you’re not.

8. Men’s rooms are not as social as women’s rest

rooms. There is far less grooming in front of the mirror too.

In a historical turn of events, Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter signed into law that starting January 16th, all public, single-space stalls must be gender inclusive. This is a huge deal for the transgender community not only in the very progressive city, but for trans people across the country. While many who op-

pose trans people from being included in nondiscrimination policies claim that we want to use the restroom to peek on women and children, there have been no reported cases of this happening. This is a huge step for the city, and a huge win for the transgender community.

STPP TIPS TIPS for using a Stand to Pee Packer By Alex Jay, creator of the Real EZP Stand to Pee Packer

Having used a lot of STPs in my time, I’ve learnt a few tips and tricks along the way to make it just that little bit easier. Here’s a little summary to keep in mind when using a stand to pee packer. • Always wear snug underwear with either an H fly or side slit. It’s so much easier to use an STP when you don’t need to hoik it over a waist band. • Another good trick as far as side slit underwear goes, is to cut a small hole in the layer that sits against your skin, where the shaft sits and actually pull the shaft through this first layer. This helps with keeping the STP in place and makes using it that much easier as it doesn’t have to bend around two separately directioned pieces of material. • You’ll notice all side slit underwear has the slit on the right seeing most of us are right handed. To further aid in easy access, I recommend wearing your STP with the shaft sitting at about 45 degrees upward and towards the left. That way it sits very comfortably, won’t create any embarrassing bulges, and is very easy to access. • As well as being selective in your choice of underwear, be selective in your choice of pants and choose ones that are loose enough to allow the fly to undo well below the base of the STP. • Then remember gravity and point the shaft accordingly.

FTM mag full page.indd 1

• Once you’ve finished, there’s a good chance there’ll be some left overs in the bottom of the cup. Discretely lift the cup forward with your thumbs, so that any remainder runs straight down the shaft and you’ll be guaranteed it’s all cleared. • Vary positions depending on what you’re doing. If you’re riding a bike, have it sitting further forward so it’s not being squished between you and the bike seat. When you’re using it to pee, position it further back to ensure the cup is underneath you. Note: Though the above tips are intended to be applicable to many STPs, they are based on the user guide from the Transthetics Real EZP Stand to Pee Packer.

Want to WIN a Real EZP Stand to Pee Packer? Go to transthetics.com for details* For more tips and tricks, competitions, give aways and other news, subscribe to the Transthetics newsletter at www.transthetics.com/subscribe * competition closes February 28th 2016

The story of the Real EZP Having made my way through pretty much every STP currently on the market, and experienced frustrations with all of them, I decided to start experimenting in my own kitchen laboratory, to create a stand to pee packer that addressed my personal needs: Being a very active guy, who rock climbs, bike rides, hikes and swims, it needed to be: • Soft and comfortable for all day wear even riding a bike! • No harness required and a discreet and natural contour in underwear, wetsuits, swimmers or rock climbing harness. • Super realistic even under close scrutiny. • Easy to use with soft edges to prevent spills and minimise direct skin contact. • Made from non sticky, skin safe, prosthetics grade silicone that’s durable and easy to clean. So after months of trial and error, product testing, iteration and experimentation, the Real EZP Stand to Pee Packer was finally born. Now you can order yours at www.transthetics.com

transthetics

aesthetic prosthetics for trans men et al... trans owned and operated

25/11/2015 11:32 am

THE SELF MADE MAN|UAL™

UPGRADE YOUR

SELFIE FORM Rule of Thirds: Hows the actual composition of your photo? Have you positioned yourself in a way that is interesting to look at? The rule of thirds can give you a good place to start. Use the grid on your phone camera screen to position important elements in the cross sections of the thirds grid.

Filter & Edit: Studies have shown that a small amount of contrast in your photo will cause you to look more masculine and receive more positive feelings and likes. Use filters that accentuate your skin type, contrast needs, lighting, etc.

Ditch The Camera: There is nothing that screams “Selfie” like a bathroom mirror with you and your phone in your hand. The best selfies we’ve seen have no camera phone in sight. Flip the camera, use a selfie stick, set a timer… But it’s a selfie not a phone-ie.

Lighting: The lighting in the photo is going to GREATLY effect whether it’s low resolution. Outdoor lighting, especially overcast but bright, are going to give you the best lighting. None of our favorites have been low resolution.

FTM MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2015 - MANUAL

Background: What are you showing us along with yourself? Your dirty bathroom is going to distract from the work out progress you’re actually trying to show us.

Don’t forget to hashtag #FTM Let’s not pretend to be above the confidence boosting power of a couple likes on your selfie you posted on Instagram. It’s the new social equivalent of asking all your close buddies if you look okay before going out into the world.

Lets not forget however, that a selfie is a photograph, and there are tricks to photography that can make your selfie look less like a selfie. All the images to the right were tagged #ftmmagazine and demonstrate these tricks.

STYLE GUIDE

STYLE GUIDE Where Fashion Lives It’s your gender to express. These men show us how they take fashion and their clothing choices to the next level, gentlemen style.

By now the fashion seasons have changed inside of stores and outside the temperature is dropping and it’s time to find that coat that keeps you warm and makes you feel awesome when you wear it out. There are some choices you’ve got to make. The easiest way to do this is to get right out there and try them all on. We recommend JC Penny’s because they’ve got a lot of great mens wear designers, such as Arizona and IZOD. Outerwear will likely have it’s

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

own section. Figure out which collar you like, whether you want a hood or not, and whether you’d prefer zip up or buttons. Look for a coat that is waterproof and insulated and this will keep you warm and dry from that run from your car, inside (We’re from New York). These might cost quite a bit. Stores like Burlington Coat Factory and Marshel’s get fashion brand coats from bigger reatil stores to save some money.

Dividing gloves into three categories, you’ve got the fancy knit, the waterproof sport, and the classy leather. Each go with jackets and serve different needs.

Fancy knit gloves let air through the knitting unless the inside is insulated. These gloves pair well with peacoats and solid colored jackets, adding a bit of pattern and personal touch.

Waterproof sports gloves will be the go-to for snow touching activities and paired with sports jackets. If you’re flying down the mountain this winter, hit up North Face or Columbia for quality gear.

The Classic Leather glove is just warm enough to protect your hands from the wind and the snow, but not once they themselves get cold, they’ll carry a chill. Pair this with suits, leather jackets, and peacoats.

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

Laith Ashley was born in Harlem, New York to Dominican parents. He graduated from Fairfield University with a degree in psychology, and until very recently, worked as an Insurance Navigator at Callen-Lorde Community Health Center (CL), in New York. there he helped at risk and homeless LGBT Youth apply for health care coverage. He counseled youth there, and taught young patients to advocate for themselves in a medical setting. Working for callen-lorde gave Laith the support and courage he had needed to begin his own medical transition. after a photoshoot of him went live, and then viral, life changed for laith and we’ve caught up with him to talk about how, and what’s next.

The Most Beautiful Man Alive BY JASON ROBERT BALLARD

PHOTOGRAPHS BY NELSON CASTILLO

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

FTM Magazine: Tell us about your jump into modeling Laith: In February 2014 I was asked, along with 17 other transgender models, to be in a campaign for Barneys called Brothers, Sisters, Son and Daughters. That was my first modeling experience. After that shoot, everything remained pretty routine. Then I was asked to be a part of Trans Models NYC around the end of August this year, but did not expect much to come from it. After doing some test shoots and the release of some behind the scenes footage by Trans Models founder, Peche Di, my name slowly began getting out on social media. In October, I was contacted by photographer, Nelson Castillo, who I learned was an old friend of my family. He asked if he could do a test shoot. Apprehensive, I said yes. When I arrived at his studio we got right to work. First, he took some head shots, then a few without a shirt. Wanting a few different looks for my portfolio, I asked if I could do a few in just my underwear. I stripped down to my white Calvin Klein briefs, and the session took off. At the end of the shoot we chose four solid photos for my portfolio. By the time I arrived to my apartment, Nelson had already sent me the final edits. Excited to show them to my friends and family, I posted them to Instagram and Facebook. FTM: And that’s when everything kind of took off right? Laith: Essentially, yes. The following day, I awoke to messages from a few friends, letting me know that my photo was found on several gossip sites, including Media Takeout. I quickly withdrew and fell into depression for about two weeks. Everything that was being said was completely fabricated, and the commentary from the readers, was shockingly disgusting and transphobic. I was warned to stop reading, but like an addict, I read on. I read post after post, eventually wanting to deactivate my social media accounts and disappear. Before I

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

could, Laverne Cox reposted my photo, and the negative commentary nearly ceased, and I was showered with support and new followers. It seemed as though it happened overnight. I went from maybe 600 followers to 42k followers in a very short period of time. I was getting tons of questions and requests for photoshoots. I couldn’t believe it! So many doors had opened that I decided to resign from my position at Callen-Lorde (CL), to pursue the opportunities that had been presented to me. CL will

always be in my heart, and if all else fails, I know I have a home there. FTM: Is there anything you’ve been doing or are working on that you can share with us? Laith: I was featured twice on New Now Next, shot the cover for Guy magazine, and was part of a transgender awareness spread in ID magazine. I have a few things lined up for TV, but I am legally obligated not to disclose that information at this time. The exposure is definitely opening doors, and I am very excited for what’s to come. Continue on Page 50

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Spectrum East

A highly anticipated Web Series based out of the UK launched their pilot episode this quarter. Summer 2015 cover models all shared in creating web series with the trans community in mind and we’re finally able to see the work of Jake Graf. Jake, listed as FTM Magazine’s 2015 Film Maker of the Year, is responsible for award winning titled such as Brace, Chance, and now Spectrum East. Being able to view the pilot before many others, I was asked to run a review on it and share what I thought. Having my fair share of web series under my belt thanks to binge watching on netflix, I happily accepted.

If I had to marry two TV shows into one to create an accurate description of where I see Spectrum East headed it would be a very well done Skins (The UK version) and possibly a bit of the L word. If for nothing but it’s majority queer culture and queer characters. It’s edgey and unapologetic. I couldn’t pick you out a single character I was most excited to watch and see what happens to. This is a don’t miss series.

No Fire Escape in Hell

It’s not very often that Transgender characters make it into new novels not meant to be about transgender issues. In this book No Fire Escape in Hell by Kim Cayer, a true story about her life and experiences, the author includes a man who, at the time, was seeing her daughter, who happened to be trans. The book as a whole is fantastic and worth a read. FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

An Interview With A Young, Fairly Stealth, Trans Musician From Massachusetts

Izzy Heltai

here’s no arguing the fact that the FTM community is filled with many talented artists: painters, writers, photographers, filmmakers, and of course, musicians. Joining the ranks of young trans musicians, like Skylar Kergil and Ryan Cassata, comes 19 year old folk singer Izzy Heltai of North Adams, MA. Heltai has been writing music seriously for about as long as he has been transitioning. At first listen, his music has a striking resemblance to the likes of Vance Joy in areas such as gentle vocals and mellow instrumental accompaniment. On his website he describes his latest release, a five track album called “Black Sheep,” as an album of “simple, sweet, original melodies.” Heltai has been living stealth in his career, but as difficult as living stealth can be in a career that requires public appearances regularly, he’s been doing pretty well -- so well in fact that many of the people he works with don’t even know, but he thinks he wants to change that. Like most trans individuals, he felt that he should be ashamed of himself which led him to living a stealth life. Heltai reached out to FTM Magazine as a stepping stone to living more openly as a trans man. He hopes to be more vocal about who he is, especially through his music, so we asked him some questions not only about his music, but also about who he is and what transition has been like. FTM: Tell us a little about you. Izzy: So my name’s Izzy Heltai. I’m 19 and -- currently [a sophomore] at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts -- I study Arts Management and live with five of my friends -- I grew up in a town bordering Boston called Brookline. Unlike many people in the trans community, I had a very comfortable high school experience. Though grappling with your

gender identity is never easy, compared to most trans people, I had a very smooth time transitioning. I had friends who were accepting, I had parents who were incredibly supportive, and a sister who was already in the queer community. My transition was so smooth that most of the time I could drop my trans identity entirely and bask in the glow of “passing privilege”. Reaping the benefits of being seen as a straight cis white male, it is only recently that I realized where my silence has come from. For years after I transitioned I was silent. I was silent because underneath everything was still the nagging societal standard that I was wrong. That I should be ashamed of who I am. This leads me to the reason I reached out to FTM magazine. I want to be more vocal about who I am, especially with my music. FTM: How long have you been performing/writing music? Izzy: I’ve been writing music seriously since I was probably 15. I started playing open mics at 16, but those were mostly covers. I didn’t start thinking about music as [a career] until my senior year of high school. At this point I realized I wasn’t seriously interested in anything except my songs. FTM: Why the ‘folk’ genre? What drew you to that? Izzy: I grew up listening to folk music. I was constantly surrounded by great artists like James Taylor, Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell, Pete Seeger and many other artists from the folk revival movement. Folk music is one of my deepest loves. It is such a simple pure form of songwriting that during the 50’s and 60’s was coupled with a radical social movement that changed America. Folk music has had such an impact on our culture, and it also happens to be my alltime favorite genre to listen to. For a while in my early teenage years, I kind of abandoned folk. When I was 14 my dad took me to the Newport

[RI] Folk Festival for the first time, and I fell in love with modern folk music. I’m lucky because New England has this incredible rising folk scene like no other. FTM: When did you start your transition? Izzy: I started transitioning socially when I was fourteen. As I said before, my transition was very smooth. I always had plenty of friends, and my parents, though a little skeptical at first were incredibly supportive through the journey. I started hormones when I was sixteen, and had top surgery seven months later at Boston Children’s Hospital. I’ll be getting a hysterectomy in the summer with no plans of [bottom surgery] anytime soon. FTM: What kinds of effects has your transition had on your life and even your music, if any? Izzy: Being trans hasn’t really had an effect on my music except what I write about is definitely deeper because of what I’ve gone through. I think going [through] what we’ve gone through can give us a much different perspective than a lot of people get. I think it comes through in my lyrics pretty well. FTM: Did the deepening of your voice take extra practice to “master” in order to be comfortable with it or was the vocal transition more seamless since you do it every day? Izzy: Starting testosterone and being a singer, you kind of have to take it like any male vocalist going through puberty. It’s going to suck, but the only thing you can do is practice through the tightening of your vocal chords to try [and] stretch them out as much as possible. You’re going to lose range drastically, and until your voice settles down into its permanent key, you aren’t going to have much of a range at all, but like any skill the key is to keep practicing. Continue on Next Page

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Izzy Heltai Continued: FTM: What or who inspired you to become a musician, and who are your biggest influences in music? Izzy: There wasn’t any one singular person that inspired me to want to be in music. Like a lot of artists it’s just something you kind of know you need to do. FTM: Is there anyone in the trans community who you look up to, musically or not? Izzy: Unfortunately I don’t have any trans people I’ve been able to look up to. There aren’t many popular trans musicians I know, and in my life I actually haven’t met a lot of other trans people.

FTM: Has being a trans artist had any effect on your career? Where do you see your career heading or where do you hope to be in the future? Izzy: Within my career I’m actually stealth. A lot of the people I work with don’t even know. It’s something I kind of want to stop doing. I just want to show people that I’m proud of who I am and that there’s no reason to hide. • • • You can preview and purchase Izzy Heltai’s album “Black Sheep” on his site, izzyheltai.bandcamp.com. Interviewed by Joshua D. Lambert Artist | Jason Robert Ballard

Daughters Skylar Kergil I. Across from me, an acquaintance mentions she just learned ‘women are attracted to men because they know men can give them babies,’ as she winks at me awkwardly. II. Last January, I put my life in the hands of a doctor with a warm smile, who demonstrated how my very own womb could be sucked up and out of my own little bellybutton. III. My daughter would have had a dimpled nose and curly brown locks of hair coupled by cancerous genes and mild manic episodes – in any and every case, she would be magnificent.

James Alexzander Vande Hey My name is James and I’m a 24 year old from Wisconsin. I attend college at Black Hills State University for a Bachelors degree in photography, I really look forward to using my transition and my art work to help young trans people find themselves and know they aren’t alone in this world.

These images were created for my capstone photography class Each student in the class is responsible for a 20 image body of work, 10 of which will be exhibited. I’m inspired by my fiancé who is responsible for getting me really truly interested in photography.

“This Is What Trans Looks Like” project by Maxwell Hunter. Portraits of trans men in various stages of their journey, showing that there is no certain look or requirement to being “trans enough.” and that they all deserve respect equally for their gender identity.

Here I Am Atticus Ranck We used to play a game in which we’d pretend to be sisters. We called it “Sister, Sister;” We were cool way before Tia and Tamara. I know you miss your sister. Growing up, it was always Nicole, Shane, and the girls. I haven’t forgotten how close we were.

I’m sorry I left you in the dark but even I didn’t know I was in the dark until I saw the light. My looks have changed, but this version of me is better. The façade is gone. My smile and my sobriety. are evidence that I have much to live for.

The love I felt for you then Ashley hasn’t gone anywhere. is dust in the wind She’s become his best self now. compared to the love I have for you today. Atticus is here. Here I am. FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

The day before it aired, FTM Magazine broke the story about a documentary featuring an FTM pubic phalloplasty and it likely being the first time such a surgery has been filmed and debuted on television. The documentary “Girls to Men” highlighted Billy-Joe Newington, a 26-year-old DJ from Cardiff, Wales in the U.K, undergoing the first stage of pubic phalloplasty, a less common type of bottom/lower surgery. In August 2014, Newington was approached by Firecracker Productions and producer and director Nick Sweeney of Channel 4 about them following and filming his journey over a couple of months. But Newington said he told them they wouldn’t get any results in that time frame due to the waitlists for National Health Service (NHS) in the U.K. After Newington told them one or two years was better, he said Sweeney came up with the idea of illustrating the three main stages of medical transition. It just so happened he was in line to have his lower surgery in October 2014. But it was a good thing Newington said to extend it because he didn’t end up having the procedure until June of 2015 because of the waitlist.

The procedure, which was done in London by Dr. Nim Christopher, who uses a skin graft from the lower abdomen that is then formed into a tube to create the structure of the phallus. Then they cut skin from the hips and pull it to cover what they took off the stomach. The doctor also did his hysterectomy during the procedure because his abdomen was

on his right arm to create the urethra and hopefully they can take a nerve to give him a bit more feeling. “If I were going to advise the Trans guys in the U.K., it would be never to assume or trust what the doctor is saying where dates are concerned. Always expect the furthest date from the date they give you and then hopefully something in between will happen. Just so you don’t get depressed if it doesn’t happen,” he said. Every month when people in the U.K. get paid, they pay taxes towards the NHS which is used to provide medical care which covers whatever care is needed. This is how Newington was able to have lower surgery. But because he was able to access a surgery that isn’t covered in many places in the U.S. and costs a lot, he said he has gotten hate from American Trans guys telling him he is lucky and that he doesn’t understand having to pay. People don’t realize there is a massive down side to it. Because everyone is entitled to medical care, that causes waitlists to be years long. Newington said he waited eight years just to get on testosterone. “I’m like no you don’t understand because if I was in their shoes, I could have had HRT within a year or so. It increases huge risks of suicide in the Trans community in the U.K.,” he said.

“He has gotten hate from American Trans guys telling him he is lucky and that he doesn’t understand having to pay.” already open. All of this was filmed and aired uncensored with the exception of his pre-op parts which was a request by Newington. “All they’ve done right now is create like a sausage that does nothing,” Newington said. Though in the documentary, he said it was nice to pack with his own skin instead of using a packer. Stage two of this procedure, which is usually done three or four months after stage one, is meant to be scheduled in November 2015. But he said he is going to have to stall it, being self-employed he can’t afford to take the time off work especially over Christmas and New Year. During this stage, he will lose the tattoo

Newington also said years ago, he nearly gave up and was on life support for it but luckily fought it and pulled through. “I don’t want to think that other people feel like they have to go down that road and end it because that is not the case,” he said. The DJ, who said he spends up to eight hours of his day helping people online, did the documentary to help as many people as possible. Because of his horrible experiences with the media he did have fears about being made to look like a freak show. Continue on Page 48 FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

TRANS OVER 50

The Story of Mike Maier Written and Interviewed by Leo Reichstetter

ooking back on the beginning of my junior year of high school, I have come so far. The first day of that school year was the day that I discovered what “transgender” meant. Like many others, I was introduced to the world of exploring my gender through YouTube where people were documenting their transitions. Not only have I learned so much in the past five years, but I have also witnessed the community - and even society change in so many ways.

At 42 years on hormone therapy, Mike has been on testosterone for twice as long as I have been alive! What changes have happened in that long of a time span? Recently I was introduced to Mike Maier. Mike is 62 years old, and has been taking testosterone for 42 years. Mike has been on testosterone for many more years than anyone I’ve ever met. In fact, he’s been on testosterone for twice as long as I have been alive! I could only imagine what sort of changes in himself, the transgender community, and society he has lived through compared to my measly five year journey. I asked Mike to talk about himself over Facebook Messenger, and he is a great guy. My first question for Mike was if he identifies as “transgender” after all this time. He said he does with other trans men, and he did while he was in transition but now he just identifies as a guy. To my surprise, Mike said he’s never had a problem getting testosterone and getting it covered by his insurance! He did have one doctor a long time ago give him a weird look

FTM MAGAZINE | FALL 2015

and walked out when he brought up being trans, but other than that all doctors have been very welcoming of his identity. My biggest struggle with transitioning has been coming out to family. Mike said he just sat his parents down and told them he was changing his sex and had an appointment with doctors at Stanford’s Gender Identity clinic. Both parents were extremely supportive. In fact, his dad said “I knew something was up” but he “couldn’t put his finger on it.” Mike said his dad was always his role model as a good, hard working man. He said “Yes men today do not take care of their kids the way it was back then. Dads took pride in their kids. … Things changed in the 80’s.” Having noticed that Mike and his wife had just celebrated their second wedding anniversary, I asked if he has ever thought about being trans affecting his relationships. He replied saying that it

is a natural thought of “Who will love me?” but his gender identity has never been an issue with the women he has been with. His wife’s reply when he told her was “Oh ok babe we can work around that.” The final question I had for Mike was if he had any advice for younger trans men. I have to admit, this is just about the wisest advice I’ve ever got in an interview. On the topic of being trans, Mike suggests that we “exercise our patience” and not to hurry our transitions. “Enjoy this fantastic journey guys. Keep a journal, record your voice each month. Know that you’re awesome just the way God made you. He made no mistakes.” He also said “Listen you want to get and keep a good woman (partner): treat her (them) well, respect her (them), or simply do not ask her (them) out. Life is short. Get what you want and need and enjoy.” I thoroughly enjoyed talking to Mike, and he is definitely a great addition to my social media. He is living proof that we can get through this transition, and for an older gentlemen, he sure does look great! • • •

RELATIONSHIPS

FROZEN IN TIME

So how does it work? There is a difference between freezing egg cells and freezing embryos. Some people, due to religious beliefs, opt for the freezing of their eggs. Another reason that eggs might be frozen unfertilized is because the sperm donor, however that ingredient fits in, isn’t present yet or decided upon.

OF THE MANY REASONS TRANS MEN MIGHT FREEZE THEIR EGGS... The biggest we’ve found is that in the future they may want to have children that are biologically theirs. That reason is stressed by the uncertainty of what hormone replacement, whether for a short period or long period, may have on our eggs and the ability to reproduce at a later date. Given the medical rumors of children being born using two egg cells, or the couples who happen to have both sperm and eggs cells together, this act of preserving their future options, while carrying out there current transitional goals is important. As our research has progressed, most sites suggest starting this process before starting hormone therapy. It is uncertain at this time and from the clinics we’ve researched as to whether or not years of testosterone will harm your egg cells. There are many cases where trans men have stopped testosterone treatment and worked with a family planning specialist to induce pregnancy. Much like a lot of our medical history, there is not ‘for certain’ or ‘definite’ answers unfortunately.

Egg cells are the largest in the body and they’re made of mostly water. This can cause the water to freeze and over time the cell is ruined. These days the clinics dehydrate the egg cell and then add a sort of ‘anti-freeze’ to the freezing process that protects the cell.

Egg cells are then frozen at -196 degrees Celsius, says USC Fertility and “based on scientific evidence, as well as our experience achieving pregnancies with frozen embryos we are confident that long-term storage of frozen eggs does not result in any decrease in quality”. They also reported that one embryo was frozen for almost 10 years. How much does it cost? We’ve taken a look at a few different clinics and the average cost of the egg freezing cycle is around $10,000. At most places the eggs are stored for the first year at no cost, but after that anywhere from $300-$500 per year for storage fees. When it comes time to thaw them and use them, fertilization and embryo transfer procedures cost around $5,000. Most clinics we’ve researched offer payment plans, though it isn’t clear at this point whether they work with insurances. • • •

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

COMING OUT: WHEN YOU’RE ALREADY OUT By Byron Kimball

I once worked for a little online gaming magazine that was large enough to have our review scores factored into Metacritic’s Metascore but small enough that most of our articles were only read by about a dozen people every day. It wasn’t a bad gig in itself, although the magazine had decided to only pay its writers $3 per thousand views on their own articles (which you may notice was a problem with the dozens of views per day). I had been out of the closet for two years at that point. While I wouldn’t say I was stealth, I had gotten to the point where I wouldn’t disclose my trans status unless I was asked, which was rarely. Working from home as a freelancer with a penchant for under the table work may not have paid a lot but for me, anxious about being outed due to the fact I hadn’t yet legally changed my name, it was a decent pay-off. The editor of this little gaming magazine was a man in his early twenties (not much older than me, if it may be said) and with about as much professional experience as I had, which was barely anything to speak of. Like me, the editor of this magazine looked as though puberty had completely sidestepped him. Unfortunately for me, I sounded like it too.

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

@ cj_transboi

My voice and my young appearance, despite the fact that he was in the same boat, was a constant fascination for my editor. “Gosh. How old are you again?” “Are you sure you’re 20? You sound so super young.” We would have weekly phone meetings. On paper, they were to discuss our editorial plan. In reality, it was five minutes of letting me know that my latest article was okay and ten minutes of him wondering just how old I was. After almost a month, I broke down and confessed that I was FTM and in the process of transitioning over instant message. My editor was silent for much too long. A week later, I resigned from the magazine, partly because I was getting too paranoid about the fact that my editor was weirdly quiet on subsequent phone interviews and the fact that I was barely making any money from the gig. Since, I’ve disclosed my trans status to a handful of clients, mostly when I felt it was relevant. I even began writing for small transgender publications, which I’d been afraid to pursue due to my fear of being found by the wrong people (whatever that may mean, but it made sense to my overly paranoid, anxiety ridden mind at the time). A good percentage of you may be in the same position. Perhaps you’ve been stealth for a while and have decided to finally come forward about your trans status. Or maybe you fear that you’ll be outed at work or to acquaintances and you want to know how you can handle the situation.

A good friend of mine had been living as himself for years. After top surgery and hormones, he had gotten to the point where he passed 100% of the time in most situations. An offhand comment about being in Girl Scouts as a child while out and about with work friends lead to him eventually coming forward as being FTM in order to clear up any confusion. He was lucky to have an accepting workplace for the most part and he later confessed that coming out to his coworkers took a weight off of his shoulders. Like my friend, you might be in the same boat. But not everyone is keen to the idea of coming out at work or knows the best way to go about it. Here’s a few ideas I’ve found to keep in mind in order to navigate coming out when you’re already basically out to the world.

Consider the Situation Carefully I think one thing that cannot be stressed enough is the importance of considering your situation carefully. Everyone’s workplace, school or community is different. Some people, like my friend, may come from a very accepting community. Others, like many of you, may live in an area that’s unfortunately not very open-minded when it comes to trans issues. For many of you, this is a no-brainer. But I think it is worth thinking about if you decide to eventually disclose your trans status. That’s not to say that you should be paranoid and refuse to come out if you sense any possible issues with coming out. But understanding your community can help you decide both the best way to go about it and what you can do if there are any issues. You’ll want to understand your legal rights as soon as possible. I find Lambda Legal is an amazing resource when it comes to understanding what your legal protections are, concerning your trans status, in the workplace and elsewhere. Some states and cities have specific protections for gender identity in the workplace. Others, unfortunately, do not but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t report any potential cases of discrimination or make your case known.

If you really don’t want to come out of the closet, you might also consider whether you need to in the first place. If you’ve changed your legal documentation, including your birth certificate, driver’s license, and social security card to match both your name and gender, then you won’t have much to worry about when it comes to whether you need to disclose your trans status to an employer. If not, however, the conversation will come up at some point and it’s best to either be prepared or do whatever you can, with whatever legal limitations you may have, to change any documentation you’re worried about.

Be Prepared I live by the old Boy Scout motto: “Be prepared”. It’s the closest I’ll ever come to being involved with Boy Scouts, which is probably good in hindsight considering my penchant for male partners. But being prepared is one of the best tools you have.

If you choose to disclose your trans status at work or school, you may want to prepare yourself for documenting any potential discrimination you may face. Hopefully, you’ll be lucky enough to work for decent human beings. But unfortunately, time and time again, too many people refuse to be respectful of other human beings and so documenting any potential incidents is one of the best tools you have for eventually making a case should you ever feel that you’re being unfairly treated at work or you’re let go for your gender identity. You may also want to be prepared for how coworkers and friends may react. At my first job out of high school, a minimum wage position where I inventoried products, a coworker eventually discovered I was transgender. Her reaction? She sidled up to me in the back of the company car. “Oh that’s…that’s amazing. I want to see pictures of your

“My editor was silent for much too long. A week later, I resigned from the magazine”

naked body when you’ve had all the surgeries. And did I ever tell you about how I used to fantasize about having a penis when I was a little girl? Oh, I’d love peeing standing up. Do you pee standing up? Isn’t it amazing? Needless to say, I was fighting back the urge to dry heave all the way home. I’ve had a mix of reactions to me coming out as trans. Some people have been utterly supportive of my transition. Others were like my coworker. And others still, although I’m glad those people are somewhat rare in my day-to-day life, didn’t exactly react in the nicest ways possible. When coming out to people, be prepared for anything. Not everyone acts in the way you may expect them too, especially when it comes to coming out. A very religious coworker may accept you wholeheartedly. Your Whole Foods frequenting, granola-munching manager may raise an eyebrow. People surprise you in both good and negative ways. The best way to navigate how people will react is to simply expect anything.

Approaching the Conversation But approaching the conversation is another thing altogether. If you’re like me, you might not feel like it’s necessary to say anything unless you’re asked. And in that case, the best bet is to probably be respectful, succinct, and upfront. After all, you are who you are and there’s nothing wrong with that. But you may want to come out on your own, without any prompting. While it puts the power of the conversation in your hands, you don’t really have an icebreaker going in.

@ dktrchrdsn Want that flag? We’ve got those and ones with Trans symbols in the middle at ftmmagazine.com along with longs of other great pride gear.

I find the best situation is to talk to whomever you’re coming out to on a one-on-one basis. Not only is this significantly less awkward but this allows you to focus and contain your announcement on one person and potentially tailor your conversation in order to make sure the point gets across. Continue on Page 50

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

TRANSWERS™

@assemblingclark

If I take more than I’m supposed to, will I transition faster? Taking more testosterone will not make your changes occur more quickly, that’s a common myth. The true keys to transition are genetics and maintaining normal levels of hormones. Though we haven’t done the actual research on this exact statement we’re about to make, if you’ve seen Fight Club and remember the character Bob, Bob took too much Testosterone supplements and his body fought it by upping his estrogen production giving him severe gynecomastia. High levels of T can cause physical and emotional problems and should be discussed with your primary care provider.

What’s a Packer? What’s the best kind of Packer? What size binder should I get? When will I know it’s the right time to go into male restrooms instead? How do I change my name legally?

Trans Answers | Transwers

Why do I only inject 2/4 times a month but most gels are applied daily? Testosterone that is absorbed through the skin is a small dose of extremely fast acting hormones. It’s applied daily because the dose is small but it provides a more even T level then injections. Injections are suspended in oil to slow the bodies absorption of the hormone across either a week or two. The topical doses can eliminate the highs and lows of T levels. Some guys prefer one way to another, those each have their pros and cons.

What is the difference between Testosterone Enanthate and Cypionate? Generally speaking, you will not likely feel a difference between the two. Cypionate is suspended in cotton seed oil and Enanthate is suspended in sesame seed oil. Another difference, for the science guys, is that Enanthate molecules are composed of 3 carbons, 6 hydrogens, and 2 oxygens. Where Cypionate is 8 carbons, 14 hydrogens, and 2 oxygens. (ftmguide.org) FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

I’ve just started hormones and I’m afraid of going bald and getting hairy other places. Unfortunately hormone replacement therapy is nothing like a salad bar. It’s impossible to choose certain effects of the therapy and negate the others. As for going bald, it’s usually based on genetics so looking at your mothers father for his hair patterns should be a good indicator of your future hair patterns. With your concern about the hairiness, man-scaping or trimming your hair is always possible! There are some effects that should be closely monitored, such as your cholesterol levels and blood pressure, so it’s important to have a primary care provider that knows what they’re checking for. • • •

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

Con’t from page 19. have transformed my body thus far and it inspires me to push myself more and more each day. I also get inspired when I get messages on social media of people telling me that I inspire and motivate them. To me it’s so humbling and makes me want to work harder to continue to inspire others. • • • Con’t from page 41. One bad experience was in 2014, when a news article published by Daily Mail, said he was going to have a tribal tattoo penis. He told them he was going in for pubic phalloplasty and they asked if there was any other way of doing it. He said he told them about the different donor locations but said he wasn’t using his forearm because of the tribal tattoo. “That got turned around into ‘oh we can make an awesome story out of this,’” he said. Newington said it was a horrible position to be in when they used him as their freak show story, but he never felt this way about the documentary. After the documentary aired on Channel 4 in the U.K. as part of the channel’s “Born in the Wrong Body” season, it was criticized for its obsession with genitalia and surgery and using a transphobic title and language. But Newington said it was necessary for the show to be as basic as possible. Originally, Sweeney pitched it as Testosterone Diaries but Newington said, Channel 4 changed it because only Trans people would know what it meant and they needed to reach a larger audience. He signed multiple consent forms saying he was happy to be filmed, signed he was happy for the surgery to be filmed and signed another one saying he was fine with it to be called “Girls to Men.” “It is a shame but at the same time they are just stating black and white facts. If that gets the most naïve person on board then that’s good. If it teaches that naïve person that this is what transgender is then we’ve

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

reached out to another person,” he said. In Britain, there isn’t as many Trans activist, he said, so you have to start with what is called black and white Trans in order for people to understand. Even though he understands why the trans community was insulted, he said he doesn’t think they are seeing that they just educated nearly 2 million people that watched it that night that wouldn’t have been educated if it was called Testosterone Diaries. Newington defended the documentary saying, “When people say they focused too much on surgery they are forgetting it was a three part series, one of the episodes had only two minutes of surgery in it.” There is also a scene in the documentary at the beginning where Alfie (the transman starting testosterone) is in a shop looking for clothes and a worker says “Aren’t you just a glorified Dyke?” which angered the community that it was even included in the documentary. “I just said they included that because they needed to show people what we go through on a daily basis so I’m glad they showed that. I’m glad that guy had the bollocks to say it on camera,” he said. Everything that was done was to help us move forward. To help your moms, dads, brothers, sisters, to understand and it wasn’t to insult anyone. That was never anyone’s intention. Things need to be done and steps need to be taken in order for society to move forward, he said. His lasting words were: Don’t give up because one day you could be somebody’s inspiration and their reason to keep living, which he said is the moto he tries to live by. • • • Con’t from page 44. With my editor, I came out to him over instant message. While, in general, you may want to have these conversations face to face, emails or instant messages do give you the luxury of being able to think about what you say without the pressure of a face to face conversation (technology is amazing for the socially anxious types) and provide links to resources if needed. Next Page

or years, I truly had no real idea what ‘trans’ looked like. Growing up with no reference points, no role models or heroes to identify with, the only trans folk I saw were those in the media, who were largely portrayed as freaks and weirdos. It was hard to see anything past the general feeling that trans people weren’t ‘normal’, were simply anomalies, or figures of fun, the punchline to so many ‘jokes’... To be perfectly honest, even when I fully understood who I was, and knew that transition was my only option, I hesitated for another year or so, so worried was I that I would be one of those figures of ridicule, but the need to be myself overrode that fear. As I began my transition, I eschewed the trans support groups, instead relying on my (cis) friends and my mother to help me through the dark days. Looking back, having trans friends might have somewhat smoothed the process, but my close network were there for me unwaveringly, and I know how incredibly lucky I was to have even that. It is only in the last few years that I have made a real effort to get to know other trans people, and there is a certain comfort in knowing that they will never meet the mess that I was pre T..! Now, some of my very favourite people are my new friends, who just happen to be trans too. There is an ease, a familiarity, and a palpable relief at never having to explain anything, either myself, or the sometimes complex terminology that we bandy around effortlessly, and sometimes with little consideration for our cis counterparts. Surgeries are discussed, but without embarrassment. Phallo, boob jobs(the girls!), baldness, ups, downs, trials and tribulations all are taken in stride, and the joy that this makes me feel is tantamount to euphoria. We may all come from different walks of life, but the bond that ties us is one that to me feels strong. Having now moved on from ‘trans talk’(although we do often slip back!), and becoming at ease with one another, we now take each other simply as people, sharing the stories that have little or nothing to do with our trans status. As we stand together outside a pub in London’s East End, people around us oblivious, I look at these people with pride, their stories inspiring and heartbreaking all at once, and feel glad that the next generation of trans children has someone, many someones, to look up to, and feel that same pride. THIS is what trans looks like, and hell, it’s beautiful. • • • Jake Graf

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

Con’t from page 45. If you’re coming out to someone face to face, the important thing is to be calm. Take a deep breath. Chances are, whoever you’re coming out to probably doesn’t have a lot of exposure to what it means to be trans. Thankfully, you have people like Caitlyn Jenner and Chaz Bono in the media. If your manager/ coworker/teacher/pub buddy happens to ask if you’re “just like that Caitlyn Jenner”, this can be a good jumping off point. I find a lot of people who may be somewhat familiar with the concept of a trans person have never really heard of a trans man, so you may want to divulge a little bit of time into what it means to be FTM. Don’t hate on clichés. Being a “man trapped in a woman’s body” may not be how you see yourself (I myself like to call myself a man with wonky chromosomes and a dress filled past) but it may be the most relatable way for someone without a lot of knowledge of the transgender community to understand what it means. But most importantly, coming out when you’re already living outside of the closet involves going into it with a level head. True, you do have to consider your situation and any potential possibilities but regardless of whether you disclose your trans status or not, you’re still you either way. And that’s what matters in the end. • • •

Con’t from page 32. FTM: In a social media world where people are on to the next thing sooner than before, do you have a long term plan for keeping these opportunities coming in? Laith: All I can do is work hard. I haven’t been targeting big magazines myself, but have met big names that are trying to pull some strings on my behalf, which is awesome! I am kind of shy when it comes to that. I know things will happen in time, as long as I stay positive, and continue working.

FTM: So what’s next for Laith Ashley? Laith: Honestly, I would love get into the music industry, and possibly acting after that. I will continue posting photos and videos when I can, and continue to work. on my voice. • • •

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CONTRIBUTORS || FALL 2015 EDITOR IN CHIEF || JASON ROBERT BALLARD EDITOR || LEO REICHSTETTER COPY EDITER || SAMANTHA BALLARD CONTRIBUTING WRITERS BENJAMIN MELZER JAKE GRAF KIERAN D. MOLONEY LEWIS HANCOX ROMARIO WANLISS JOSHUA D LAMBERT DECLAN LAWSON BYRON KIMBALL SKYLAR KERGIL

FTM MAGAZINE | WINTER 2016

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