Padraic Cawley on working around restrictions

As a community we are finding new ways to help support and carry a family through their grief

We have all faced a very difficult job this year since Covid 19 began, trying to offer our families a service while abiding by the rules and restrictions. And while those rules have been varied over the last six months, the restrictions of allowing between 10 and 25 mourners to attend a funeral have had a huge impact on how the life of a lost loved one is celebrated.

Funerals are about a community coming together to offer support or just words of comfort, and families draw great strength from these acts of kindness. Even the book of condolence has been suspended, and the signing of a name or writing a personal note, along with leaving a sympathy card was always an easier way for people to express their feelings when the spoken word might sometimes be awkward. People are now posting messages of sympathy on RIP.ie, and I have noticed some Funeral Directors are now putting those comments into a beautifully presented folder for families.

The ritual of the ‘three day funeral’ has also gone, and the length of a funeral service has been curtailed to a single time slot in the crematoriums. As a celebrant, this is proving to be very challenging – it’s impossible to fully celebrate a life in twenty minutes! Thinking outside the Padraics Civil Advert July 2020.qxp_Layout 1 17/07/2020 13:50 Page 1 box has opened up new avenues and opportunities, and I have suggested to many families that a service

could be held at the family home, allowing neighbours and close friends to congregate outside, pay their respects, and feel included in a ceremony of farewell. This is then followed by a service of committal at the crematorium or graveside. This idea has proved to be popular with many families, and I have witnessed some very emotional send-offs from family homes where many friendships were forged, and memories created. One such funeral for a man who was a huge GAA Dublin supporter, saw his neighbours line the streets wearing jerseys and waving flags – it was like all Ireland Day! For others, the simple clapping of hands as the cortege passes can be as positive as a handshake or embrace.

On another occasion, as the hearse was driving through the crematorium gates, people who were gathered, burst into singing a Dublin ballad.

Sometimes an unannounced or pre planned gesture can be very emotive and moving. For venues that don’t have a live stream facility, a whole new enterprise has been born with services being recorded by professional videographers.

So as we enter a new year, and a still uncertain future, the ritual of ‘Irish Funeral’ as we know it, will find ways to adapt, and people, as a community, will find new ways to help support and carry a family through their grief.

Padraic Cawley

Civil Funeral Celebrant

T: 087-2676050

E: padraic@padraiccawley.ie W: www.padraiccawley.ie Celebrating the life of the deceased, reflecting their personal beliefs, wishes, values and traditions.

INSTITUTE OF CIVIL FUNERALS

Treasured Keepsakes

Would like to thank you all for your support throughout this very difficult year. We wish everyone a safe and peaceful 2021!

Liza Webster

“Quality, Professional Embalming Care Service Founded on the Importance and Values Associated with Viewing & Visitation of a Loved One After Their Passing”