Coffin Mixtures by Mattie Lennon

Coffin Mixtures

Am I right about this? When growing up in Catholic rural Ireland would one merit a Plenary Indulgence by procuring one’s coffin before death? Or did this apply to the purchase of the brown habit pre-mortem? Or am I imagining the whole thing? What put that into my head? Oh yes. When Covid restrictions were lifted I visited the Men’s Shed in Blessington. Woodworking tools dating from the early eighteen hundreds to the present day and wooden ashtrays, lamp bases and wood carvings of various shapes and sizes confronted me. Testimony to the talent and skills of the members. Personally I can’t even saw straight. If I attempted to hammer a nail into scaffolding plank there is a good chance that I‘d split it. (The plank, not the nail.) So, you can imagine the reaction of the assembled craftsmen when I asked, “Why don’t you make coffins.”

They didn’t say that I was stone mad. Well... not in so many words. But it was pointed out to me that coffin-making was a closed shop. My lack of manual skills is compensated for, somewhat, by my dubious talent for sourcing information. So, I managed to track down a septuagenarian former palliative worker, Katie

A Tardis Coffin

By Mattie Lennon

Eileen and Dot

Williams, in Rotorua, New Zealand, who, in 2010, decided to make her own coffin. She called a meeting with some of her old friends who had useful skills. Some males raised their eyebrows but did attend the next meeting and the Coffin Club was formed. Katie researched the legalities of the project, tools were discussed, templates were made and plans for construction of coffins were secured. Away they went. Each member enthusiastically embraced the new pastime and set out to make his or her own coffin. Membership is made up of mainly people over 65. Disabled people also help. For instance there was the blind man who wanted to undercoat coffins. He was set up and guided by a volunteer. His Black Lab Help Dog was in great danger of changing into a Dalmatian. Usually the coffins are decorated to reflect the lifestyles of the occupants. Raewynne Latemore’s casket is a shrine to Elvis. And there was the man who planned to take his wallet with him. He attached the back pocket of his jeans to the end of his coffin with the sign, “Who says you can’t take it with you.”

Some people might be reluctant to make their own coffin but there is no record of even one death being caused by the exercise. One

A lovely floral Coffin

female member who made three coffins for herself when asked why? replied, “Because I keep putting on weight.”

Katie Williams gave me precision yet easily followed drawings for coffin manufacture. Those graphics were accompanied by a sheaf of instructions which included terms like Kerfing, toe-corner, overhand and end-ribs. On 29th April 2013, the following was signed into law, “Uncoffined burials may be permitted, unless a direction has been issued not to do so by the relevant sanitary authority or medical officer.” However, most Irish people prefer not to make or break a tradition. So, armed with the aforementioned plans and instructions back I’ll go to the Men’s Shed in Blessington.

Jeff Gascoigne and Mum, Hazel, standing alongside their new Volvo fleet supplied by Wilcox Limousines Ltd

New Volvo fleet for A. J. Gascoigne & Son Funeral Directors

A J Gascoigne & Son Funeral Directors was formed in 1986 by Alan and Hazel Gascoigne. Alan retired in 2013.

Sadly, he has since passed away. It is now in its second generation with Jeff at the helm. A professional Independent Family business, they are members of BIE, BIFD, NAFD and SAIF. Quite unique to the funeral industry, the business also has its own privately owned cemetery.

Jeff has been really pleased with his previous Volvo fleet and had not hesitation in ordering the latest Volvo S90 hearse and limousine. He opted for the 2.0 diesel engine with a bespoke 3 bearer deck format. The high specification on the vehicles includes leather interior, active cruise control, climate control, satellite navigation, DAB stereo and alloy wheels. The limousine also included a removable vehicle hygiene screen.

Wilcox Limousines Ltd would like to thank Jeff for his continued custom and wishes him every success with his new fleet.

CASSIDY CHAUFFEUR DRIVE

Newly Restored 1940’s Rolls Royce Hearse For Hire