Empire Times 40.7

anniversary edition. free

Band Day on the Plaza 11th September

(Special free lunch for all)

Editorial First Ever Editorial, Volume 1 Issue 1

2 Martin Fabinyi

4

Contributor Spotlight

5

Letters to the Editors

7

A Mirror to the World

Agnik Sarkar

8

The Term ‘State Secrets’ Implies that Government Owns Them

Aneta Peretko

9

Dear Diary

10

Mistress M: Sexual Fantasy, the bad kind

Emma Sachsse

11

Fun with Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Miranda Richardson

12

Wilderness Society

Kegan Daly

An Open Letter to a Middle-Aged Me

Katerina Bryant

16

Empire Times: The Early Days

James Vigus

18

In Defence of Radicalism

Ira Herbold

19

Protesting the PNG Solution

Grace Hill

20

Blast from the Past

22

Reflections on Editing [ET]

Simon Gray

29

Back to the Future: On Student Media and VSU

Steph Walker

30

A Brief History of (Empire) Time(s)

Andrew McHugh

32

Vox Pops

34

Spotlight: Predator

Dorian Bašić

37

Film Reviews

Annie Robinson, Cara Solly, Georgia Brass

38

Music Reviews

Elizabeth Daw, Angus Rawson, Jack McEntee, Holly Richter

40

Theatre Review

Josh McLean

42

Book Review

Charles Chiam Chuang Chao

43

Fiction

Emma Thompson

44

Poetry

Nala Berbury, Harry Inniss, Lily Brasini

46

Crossword

Nathan Erdely

47

Games

48

Editors: Sarah Gates, Simon Collinson, and Preesan Pillay Thanks to Steph Walker for the cover artwork Empire Times is a free publication of the Flinders University Student Association Editors: empire.times@flinders edu.au Advertising: stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au Visit us at facebook.com/empiretimesmag or empiretimes.com.au Empire Times does not support any political party or the election of any person to a Commonwealth, State, or Territory parliament or local government body.

All views expressed by contributors belong to them alone.

[et]

Contents

[ editorials ]

C

lusterfuck. That seems to be the general consensus in the ET office whenever a deadline looms. You may think we’re being melodramatic (I think you’re strange for actually reading the editorials) but, in all honesty, jumping into this with no experience or past editors to guide us was a bitch. Luckily, we had our awesome media officer, Steph Walker to help us out.

The woman needs a cape. She’s saved us that many times. Of course having a rapidly growing base of keen contributors also helps immensely.

Enough of that though, this is the 40th year of ET’s publication! It’s time for celebration and reflection. ET, at its conception, was the only student paper with its own printing press. This gave it the power of real free speech. The power to tell people to fuck themselves without fearing funding cuts. The first ever editorial on page four ends with probably the best line I’ve ever read in a magazine, “up against the wall you pricks!”

That sentiment remains true. For some reason student and uni politics cannot exist without ample amounts of ego, drama, and idiocracy. It all melds together and forms a big gooey mass that sludges around the campus, hindering culture, and engulfing innocents in its wake.

Similarly, we had Flinders One take not so kindly to a contributor voicing his opinion on their somewhat average coffee and chicken schnitzels. Flinders One allegedly wanted to ban the mag from all of their facilities.

Which happens to be all of the facilities (of the food variety) at uni, because they’re big fuck-off monopoly. I think maybe, Flinders Uni isn’t used to having a student mag yet. But we’re here, we’re 40, get used to us! Surely this almighty status would mean that they’d have the resources to actually make a good brew. No, all we get is a measly 10% discount that we pay for anyway through our SSAF. This is a university, not Soviet Russia.

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Then came the student council. It should be known that they’re not actually that bad. Given that it’s their first year of operation they’ve made quite a lot of ground.

They may eventually be the David to the Flinders One’s Goliath. Despite this, they still seem incapable of getting their articles to meet the word count, sent to ET on time, or even sent to us at all — notice the complete lack of FUSA articles in this issue, for which we received zero warning or correspondence. When you’ve been doing 18 hour binges and waiting on content, I just want to type swear words. But our Media Officer is literally using my hands to re-edit at this point, Ghost (1990) style.

Finally we come to the penultimate hindrance to campus culture. The student body. I’ve probably heard from over fifty different people that there is “nothing” on at Flinders and that there is no campus culture. Oddly enough, these people are never at the student forums that FUSA runs nor do they ever appear in club meetings or events.

Hell, they probably don’t even read ET. Fuckers.

Coincidentally, if you want to write a letter to the editor, you may do so, angered masses.

But you’re reading this — so you’re probably all good.

Later, Preesan

B

ecause I’ve been studying at Flinders since 2009, I’ve always had a vague idea that there was a student magazine around before the birth of Libertine, but I didn’t really know anything about it. I doubt anyone did: in fact, I suspect that after the plague of voluntary student unionism ran through the world of student media in the mid-2000s nobody here knew or cared much about it.

Since the start of the year, we’ve been working hard to rectify that. One of the most powerful things student media can do is build a sense of community, and we’ve been surprised and thrilled by all the writers, artists, former editors, and lovers of student media who’ve come out of the woodwork to write for, comment on, or just read Empire Times.

As it turns out, Flinders has a rich history of students – and staff – writing for student papers about politics, culture, and everything else. The library’s Special Collections department opened our eyes not just to the story hidden in the archives of Empire Times, but also that of its wildly protean predecessors: Bacchus on the Campus, Kaliban, and Gita.

For me, one of the most interesting things about editing Empire Times has been digging through these archives.

In this issue, we’ve reprinted what we think are some of the most important and interesting moments from the magazine’s first 39 years, but given the space restrictions inherent to print magazines, we’ve barely been able to scratch the surface. Just think: at 25–50 pages per issue and ten issues per year, in our forty years of existence ET must have yielded somewhere between 10,000 and 20,000 pages of original content.

This is why we’re so keen to digitise the Empire Times archives. They contain fascinating political, social, and cultural commentary, hilariously dated ads, brilliant illustrations, wacky cartoons, and some of the most snarkily creative bitching you’ll read anywhere outside a toilet wall — but they’re trapped in print, and we need the help of some departments to set them free. We will be in contact!

B

eing editor of Empire Times is like having a baby.

This year, ET was resurrected after its death in 2006 - with the introduction of VSU. We had no templates, structure or any other expectations to abide by. There was no ready pool of contributors and, in fact, students had no idea we existed. We had very little money and very high printing costs, dreams of full colour, and almost no prior experience in editing a magazine. We were the ignorant soon-to-be parents.

Because of the steep learning curve, creating ET from scratch was a long and uncomfortable process in many ways. But it was also very exciting to have such complete control. Issue One was basically all three editors (Simon, Dunja, and me, at the time) calling in a lot of favours.

Once the ‘pregnancy’ stage was out of the way, we had an inbox full of articles and artwork, but no idea what we were doing. This was painful. The ‘birth,’ if you will, was an extraordinary amount of hours spent editing and figuring out how to design where I, personally, lost all sense of joy from reading, writing, and grammar. And then it was born: Empire Times, Issue One. But the journey didn’t end and it didn’t get easier. It got harder.

There was screaming. And shit hit the fan. Yet here we have it, the reestablishment of Empire Times. A beautiful baby magazine. I’m really proud of how far we’ve come - and in such a short time. We’ve had conflicts with two different Flinders bodies and a change of editors after just two issues; countless students have disregarded promises, but even more have overjoyed us with their pure genius, reliability, or even kindness.

It’s a hard slog — what with study, work, volunteering, and hobbies alongside the 20-30 hours of ET each week. But man, have I learned (and loved) a lot.

Peace,

Love,

Simon

Sarah

[5]

First Empire Times Editorial, March 11, 1969. It’s funny how little has changed.

[ contributor spotlight ] Steph Walker

Josh McLean

Tell us a bit about yourself.

I’m Steph. I’m the Media Officer at FUSA and I volunteer for Format on the side. I’m a big nerd for student publications and I do all the social media, web and design for FUSA. I watch a lot of comedy and I work too much because I love all things media.

Tell us a bit about yourself.

I would describe myself as a passionate individual who seeks to improve the health and wellbeing of communities through sustainable activities, particularly urban-farming/ permaculture. Currently I am undertaking the development of my own community health project, which was born whilst on a student exchange in Sweden last year (on a student exchange – I know, right). At the moment I am studying the Masters of Public Health – Nutrition, which encapsulates all that I stand for and all that I hope to work towards in the future. Finally, after 4 years of slaving!

What’s the first thing you would do if today was your last day?

Honestly, I’d organise a bunch of pranks and maybe an amazing race style battle for my belongings. That way people could have a bit of a laugh after I was gone. I’d drink a bunch of fancy cocktails. Also ideally it’d be warm, humid, sunny with a chance of a big thunderstorm.

What’s your vision of a perfect world?

I have no idea. I think we’d be better off if people only consume the media they wish to support. When you watch, read, or buy media that is awful, like A Current Affair, it only increases the chance that it will be further funded and increases the opportunity for more people to consume it. So maybe if we all stop that then we’ll have proper news, media, and people on our screens/pages.

Best/Worst Flinders moment?

I’ve only been here since January. Has anyone noticed that one really mean duck up on main campus that picks on the other ducks – what’s his deal?! Also, a few months ago I saw a wasp lodge itself into someone’s sandwich that he then dropped on the ground. The wasp was angry. Then it started raining on him. It was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while but then I felt bad so went out and gave him some FUSA freebies.

When I grow up, I want to: Murdoch the world, except be nicer and thus less of a billionaire.

What’s the first thing you would do if today was your last day?

If you’re reading this, then I have probably already had my last day on earth. It went something like this: Boarded flight with family – Landed in New Mexico – Travelled to Roswell Base (Area 51) – Break into base – Commandeer Foo Fighter (UFO) – Tack såmycket! (Swedish for thankyou so much!) – SPACE HERE WE COME! (But not before I had dinner with the following 5 people: Nikola Tesla, Charles Darwin, Mike Reynolds, Bill Mollison, and Stephen Hawking.)

What’s your vision of a perfect world?

My vision of the world isn’t perfect but its framework would be based on sustainable systems that look after those who are most vulnerable in society and in global communities. Perfection is subjective; as for survival, well, that remains to be seen, unless we begin to radically change our values and beliefs.

When I grow up, I want to: When I grow up I want to live in a sustainable community and have the opportunity to educate others on how they can improve their health and wellbeing through participation in sustainable practices (actually, it wouldn’t really be growing up, as I won’t be working 9-5, you can count on that).

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THANK YOU! Hello wonderful, glorious people! Thanks for reading our magazine. It truly is amazing that anyone actually looks in between these glossy covers and puts eye to text. But this page is dedicated to those who rise above the hectic rush and/or mindless laziness that is their everyday life to send us an article, artwork, or other such creative form. It’s a huge privilege to look through them all and select the very best to appear in print. So a big thanks to all of our contributors, especially those who have contributed consistently this year - mostly our sub-editors and columnists. There were also a lot of last minute rushes this issue (e.g. music and theatre reviews), so a big thank you to everyone who swooped in and saved the day.

If you want to be one of those people who writes last minute reviews for very grateful editors, join our Facebook group for contributors: https://www.facebook.com/ groups/134074086783799/.

If you’d like to join us for issue eight, drop us a line at empire.times@flinders.edu.au.

Check out our Facebook page: facebook.com/empiretimesmag.

Writers Artists/Photographers Daniel Phillis

Columnists Agnik Sarkar Dorian Bašić Emma Sachsse

Sub-Editors Alice James (Fiction) Aneta Peretko (Law/Policy) Annie Robinson (Film) Elizabeth Daw (Music) Katerina Bryant (Features) Nathan Erdely (Crossword)

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Angus Rawson Cara Solly Charles Chiam Chuang Chao Emma Thompson Georgia Brass Grace Hill Harry Inniss Holly Richter Jack McEntee James Vigus Josh McLean Kegan Daly Lily Brasini Miranda Richardson Nala Berbury

[et] Veterans Andrew McHugh Simon Gray Steph Walker

[ letters to the editors ] Dear Editors,

Dear ET,

Why does the law school keep stuffing up people's topics? I enrolled in an elective earlier this year, then they cancelled it. I enrolled in a replacement, then they cancelled that.

What exactly is going on up there?

I love the magazine, but I want to be able to read it when I don't have one of my multiple copies of each issue at hand. I think you should have a website.

Sincerely, Elective Surgery.

Sincerely, Charlie

It’ll have heaps of expanded features, articles from back issues, and exclusive web content! We’ll let you know when it’s ready.

Dear ET, I've noticed the food at the Refectory has improved all of a sudden - in Refresher Week alone I ate Jamaican jerk chicken, Malaysian fish curry, tasty nachos, and butter chicken. Can you find out why it's suddenly improved?

Sincerely, Hungry but Suspicious

Charlie, you’re in luck. We’re building a website right now!

Dear Editors, It's cold.

Sincerely, Everyone who's never been to Hobart or Canberra.

Want to have your opinion heard? Have a complaint to air? Or maybe your friends and family are sick of your tireless flattery?

Send it our way.

Shoot an email to empire.times@flinders.edu.au and we’ll probably publish it — with your name or anonymously, it’s up to you!

[9]

Sex Ed With Mistress M: Sexual Fantasy, the bad kind.

W

e all know that it is acceptable to have sexual fantasies, and sometimes it is even okay to tell our partners. Occasionally you might even be able to act them out. These are not the ones I am concerned with. I want to talk about the really damaging fantasy, that sex with someone you like is going to be great and sex with someone you love will be mind-blowing.

In fact, what about the fantasy that two complete strangers can find each other attractive, hook up and have fantastic sex, first time? Everywhere we look on TV, in movies, and in literature people are having great sex without having any awkward moments. No tripping as they take off a sock, no fumbling with bra catches, no bad breath, no slips, no bumps, and no cramps.

Okay, there are exceptions, in the comedies we get sex at its most foolish, but that doesn’t teach us that the next time we have sex with the person we have romantic feelings for, it might end in a fanny fart or a teeth clash because, in our minds, we are in a great romance, not a Wayans bros-movie. Admittedly, Game of Thrones is pretty realistic about sex, for a fantasy. The young princess gets brutally taken by her new husband each night, until she gets lessons from a prostitute on how to have sex in a way that will be pleasurable for both of them. Unfortunately, not all of us have a sexy exprostitute handmaiden to teach us the ways of pleasuring our partner.

On the whole there, seems to be an assumption that because we are now all so open about sex, and that we have access to so much information about it and so many images of it, that we should all just naturally be good at it. Well, I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work like that.

The information and images being fed into our brains are not enough to magically make us great lovers. I’m not trying to say we’re all bad, I’m just saying that sometimes our expectations are too high and when the fireworks don’t go off we can be disappointed. The sex we are going to have and the people we are going to be having it with are not going to be like in the movies, we don’t have great direction, editing, camera angles, lighting and stand-ins to make it all look smooth, sexy, sensual and attractive.

I am not advocating we all drop our standards, bad sex is not the goal here, but managing expectations and understanding that great sex doesn’t just magically happen is.

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If you want great sex, you need to work at it. Find out about sexual techniques that will give yourself and your partners pleasure, and no, not from those stupid “How to drive him/her wild in bed” articles from Cosmo, Ralph, etc. Go online and buy a good book or DVD on sexual techniques (no, not porn, that’s just fantasy too). There are lots of great resources that can help you to become a better lover generally, or you can use them with your partner to open up communication on how the two of you can make your sex life “even better.” Communication is so important. Never criticise; taking criticism is hard at the best of times, and when it is about sexual performance it is a really touchy area. Do, however, always feel free to express what you would like more of, or would like to try, and then reward actions that work with praise.

It is the worst fantasy of all to think that if your partner and you were “meant” to be together you would instinctively know how to turn each other on. Unless you are psychic (you aren’t), you need to learn about your sexuality and your partner’s. Even if it is a one night stand, don’t put up with mediocre sex, learn what you like and how to ask for it.

Love yourself, touch yourself, and be good to each other.

Yours, Mistress M

y h t o r o D r a De Dear Dorothy, I am a straight male living at home with my parents and sister. The problem is how do I bring home various lady friends after a night out? I’m not sure how happy my parents would be, etc.

Forever Alone Dear Forever Alone, One night stand protocol can be tricky even without your parents down the hall.

When do you kick the other person out? What is blanket sharing etiquette? Do you provide toast to ease your lover’s soul-destroying hangover the next morning?

I would suggest an open and honest dialogue with your parents and sister (as she’s also sharing your space). This WILL be incredibly awkward, but will be worth it for some sweet, sweet lovin’.

Alternatively, avoid the whole situation. Go to your lady friend’s place. Spend some dough and treat yourself to a hotel room. Or have some risqué public place sex: public bathrooms, park benches, behind a dumpster, a car park. The world is your bedroom; just don’t blame Dorothy if you get arrested!

X

Dear Dorothy I am in love with my best friend’s girlfriend. We’ve been friends since Primary School but she’s incredible! What do I do?!

The Other Man Dear The Other Man, Don’t go there. Do. Not. Go. There.

This is your ‘best friend’ who you presumably don’t want to lose. And while I strongly believe we don’t own our past lovers, this situation will cause you, your friend and his girlfriend a huge amount of heartache heartache.

If you think know this girl is your soul mate, if they go out for under 6 months and end amicably or if you’re just really, really sneaky then maybe give it a try. Whatever you do, don’t act while they’re committed to each other.

Tread lightly and good luck.

X

[11]

“There is no citizen of the world who can afford to be complacent about this,” so declared Janos Bogardi, former director of the UN University’s Institute for the Environment and Human Security. This was not said in response to political instability in the Middle East or worldwide government surveillance, but to the unfolding global crisis of water security.

T

he UN estimates that by 2025, between 2.7 billion and 3.5 billion people will live in water-scarce regions.

Unsustainable population growth, climate change, pollution, and abuse of natural resources are on a collision course. Growing demands for fresh water worldwide are fast outstripping availability. As this disaster evolves over the coming decades, the implications for global agriculture, sanitation and, by extension, civil stability are dire.

With regard to agriculture, the world’s ability to feed itself is inextricably tied to the ability to sustainably source water. Half of globally consumed calories are in the form of grains, roughly 40% of which originate from irrigated land. Farmers tend to source water for irrigation from two principal sources: rivers and underground aquifers. Whilst the majority of such aquifers are replenished through regular rainfall, others, known as fossil aquifers, are not.

Today, eighteen countries accounting for approximately 50% of the global population are considered to be overpumping their aquifers, including the world’s three largest grain producers: China, India and the US. Consider China, where lies, under the North China Plain, one of the world’s most agriculturally important fossil aquifers. This water supplies a region that contributes half of China’s wheat and a third of its corn. Overpumping has mostly emptied the shallow aquifer, shifting dependence to fossil aquifers lying underneath. In 2010, groundwater monitoring teams reported that the country

A Mirror to the

World Words by Agnik Sarkar

is now drilling five times deeper to reach the deep aquifer than 20 years ago. Whilst water security in China has yet to reach its nadir, the country will progressively lose its ability to water and feed itself as it draws on increasingly polluted rivers and parched aquifers. Across India, the Middle East, and the US the narrative is little better, with each country beset saddled with fast depleting sources of water for irrigation. If the existing global paradigm persists, the planet risks not only detonating a time bomb of water scarcity, but suffering the after-effects of an ensuing hunger crisis.

Whilst water scarcity for food production is a developing problem, lack of fresh water supplies and poor sanitation continue to claim thousands of lives. Already, 37% of the world’s population lack access to toilets, of which, 783 million people lack access to safe water for sanitation.

Consequently, diarrhoea, dehydration, dysentery and cholera have flourished, causing over 3000 deaths daily among children under the age of five. According to Caterina de Albuquerque, the UN Special Rapporteur on the human right to safe sanitation, “access to sanitation currently ranks as the most off track of the Millennium Development Goals, and one that will obviously not be met by 2015.”

The Millennium Development Goals outlined in 1990 optimistically outlined global aspirations to curb extreme poverty, reduce child mortality, and preserve environmental integrity. It is clear, however, that more needs to be done to improve water access and availability globally. According to the Green Economy Report published in 2011 by the UN Environment Programme, a yearly investment of 0.16% of global GDP could halve the number of people without access to basic sanitation and potable water. In addition to the obvious moral incentive, the World Bank estimates that $5.7 billion could be saved annually if all people were fortunate enough to have clean water for sanitation and consumption. This, however, would require a total investment of up to $145 billion, particularly in Southeast Asia and Sub-Saharan Africa.

Solutions to such herculean challenges are rarely simple. However, we can all afford to be more pro-active in making the most efficient use of our resources. After all, famine, economic collapse, civil war are all potential sequelae once the water bubble bursts and leaves a thirsty global populace in its wake.

The Term ‘State Secrets’ Implies that Government Owns Them Words by Aneta Peretko

I

t’s been a bad few weeks for government security in the US, and when things get heated in our political big brother, we tend to hear the same arguments here – though we often forget that despite our cultural similarities, our legal and political climates are starkly different.

The PRISM project and the wiretapping of journalists are important issues in their own right, but the cacophony swirling around Edward Snowden has to some extent conflated two incredibly important but formerly distinct issues: exposure of state secrets, and governments’ surveillance of their populations.

Snowden engaged in the first to shed light on, and critique, the second. Now, Australia hasn’t had any whistleblowers revealing state secrets lately, but there have been many a frank admission that the government is monitoring our lives in a way that instinctively feels like a breach of privacy.

But what privacy? Australians have no constitutional protection for any such notion, and that makes it a lot harder for us to fight for privacy rights. Anyone who has ever seen a cop show (and let’s face it, this is a student magazine – so that’s everyone) is familiar with the American process of Miranda rights, the droll “you have a right to remain silent...” that Detective Stabler utters whenever he catches a child molester, for example.

You’ve also seen the judicial struggles over what a warrant covers – it clearly states that only the hallway is searchable, so evidence of the pile of cocaine visible from the hallway but physically inside another room is inadmissible.

The Australian Federal Police and state police departments file thousands of requests per week for metadata (duration and source, mainly) relating to citizen internet and phone use, and the law states that they do not need a warrant to do this. Who else doesn’t need a warrant? Centrelink actually monitors us more than the police. The Tax Office and the Post Office are in there too.

We don’t expect such bodies to be able to access our information, because we think of that information as ours, as belonging to us. We have a right to spread it around on Facebook, but goddamnit, Facebook shouldn’t give

it to advertisers, and the government collects it as a function of its own existence, but it shouldn’t share it without good reason. Protecting national security might be such a reason, but protecting public revenue seems like a much less worthy cause.

So do whistle-blowers have a good reason for revealing the government’s secrets?

There is sympathy for Snowden due to his meticulous method of only sharing documents that didn’t harm any person or any national strategy, and publicising classified documents that caused no strategic harm, no harm at all beyond some embarrassment.

This question of whether whistle-blowers have a good reason for their actions has permeated throughout the Snowden debacle – but its most striking aspect is not the debate it inspires, but the inherent assumption it makes.

It assumes that the government owns those secrets.

In Snowden’s case, which so blurs the lines between secrets and surveillance, this question should be the first one. Revealing private information that we consider belongs to ourselves, not to the government, is revealing state secrets. Revealing the process of revealing that information is an artificial distinction.

It is foolish to deny the need for classified information altogether. National security, to a large degree, depends on it. But if agencies outside the security apparatus like Centrelink are routinely accessing information that we consider ‘private’ and ‘ours,’ then the question of ownership of information spreads far beyond the expanses of the law.

[13]

Fun with Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Words by Miranda Richardson

L

ong-term illness is an experience I could never fully understand until it happened to me. I’d always had random inexplicable stomach aches as a kid, but then nearly two years ago my body broke. For the three months before I could figure out what it was, I had diarrhoea approximately five times a day almost every day. I was always a bit nauseous, with a bit of pain, and pretty frequently in a lot of pain. Welcome to the magical world of chronic Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Unfortunately, IBS is not a disease – it’s just a body not functioning too well – so it can’t be cured. Regardless of how strictly I diet, a wave of stress or hormones can have me incapacitated for days. But IBS can be managed.

I saw a whole bunch of doctors who gave me things that made it worse or had no effect, until I saw one who gave me a drug that stopped the pain. I had to take it three times a day. It was amazing. It did concern me, however, that it also stopped me from pooping at all. This was clearly not a sustainable solution. At the moment I thought I actually couldn’t take it for much longer, a friend recommended a naturopath. She told me what foods I couldn’t eat (all the fun things) and what I could eat (meat, veg, seeds, leaves). The diet made an almost instant change.

It’s hard for lots of reasons. My food bill almost eats up my entire fortnightly pay – for example, you’d be amazed how expensive the only honey and fruit free muesli on the market will cost. It’s also surprisingly hard to rely on others to keep you alive, due to guilt and self-loathing and whatnot. I should probably also mention the actual symptoms: I’ve felt a little bit sick at some point almost every day for over a year. It’s like your brain is drowned in nausea; all your thoughts are muffled and every action takes more effort. There is a haze between you and others; you can’t speak or joke as well, or produce work the way you used to, and you can see the change even if others can’t. It’s like watching your true potential slip away.

When I’m healthy, I feel like my body is a part of me; it can express how I feel and who I am. The sicker I am, the more separated my body and my identity become. On bad days I look down at my body shivering beneath me, pain knifing through my stomach and waves of nausea crashing down, it feels like my bones are fraying – and I

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think, Wow. Things are falling apart down there. It’s just kind of funny in that moment. And that’s when I know my body is not so much a part of me, but more of a wall between me and the world.

There’s a weird sort of loneliness in going to a party and not being able to share some chocolate with your friends. And a weird sort of loneliness in the fact that you know most people can’t understand, because there are things about the illness that you can’t tell anyone.

My illness isn’t pretty. Someone once told me that no illness is beautiful, but I still feel that if all I had was the pain I wouldn’t be so ashamed of it. Whenever I have to tell someone that I have IBS, I always go bright red and/ or want to cry. One time someone asked me what IBS was, and since I couldn’t bring myself to say, “Irritable

Bowel Syndrome,” I ended up saying, “Lots o’ poopin’’ and nodding matter-of-factly. Quick thinking, Miranda.

That sounds SO much better.

As an IBS sufferer, I have become quite adept at calculating the likelihood that I will make it from one location to another without needing a bathroom. It can be quite a gamble. I make sure I don’t go anywhere for long if it doesn’t have an accessible bathroom. I also have numerous techniques for achieving audible privacy in various bathroom scenarios. I go to the furthest bathroom from people as possible, or hide behind the sound of talking at parties. In public loos I predict flush times and hide behind that noise, or (worst-case scenario), I just go for it and then don’t leave my stall until all the people who would know it was me have left. It’s freakin’ hilarious, but only in retrospect. I have to think about my bowel movement strategies far more than anyone should.

The disability access plan at uni is my best friend: it’s extremely hard to get a doctor certificate when I need to prove that I’m too sick to leave my house. People understand. I hate the idea of disability stopping me from following my dreams and people allow me to keep going.

And the truth is, people understand because pretty much everyone has a big crap thing to deal with, healthbased or otherwise. Maybe we can all afford patience for weakness because we know it intimately ourselves.

IBS taught me that, regardless of all the crap I go through to manage it – if you’ll excuse my choice of words – I

“

On bad days I look down at my body shivering beneath me, pain knifing through my stomach and waves of nausea crashing down, it feels like my bones are fraying and I think, Wow. Things are falling apart down there.

”

can’t bring myself to regret the experience. I can live with this illness and that makes it a blessing. Because every day I manage IBS, I learn more about allowing myself to rest; forgiving myself for weakness; and understanding others in similar situations. I had a terrible diet and lifestyle before I got sick, and I don’t think anything short of illness would have persuaded me to fix my life – this illness will thus make me significantly healthier in the long run. It reminds me constantly to turn my priorities back to a focus on health and a more direct pursuit of fulfilment than my usual intense career focus. IBS has taught me just how strong I can be. Knowing that you’ll be okay, regardless of some of the depths you can sink to, changes how you live. I thank God for IBS almost as much as I ask him to help me through it. And when I think about it, I realise that most bad things rarely produce purely bad results, because we always learn from them.

So next time you think about that big problem in your life, I guess I just want you to know that it doesn’t make you weak. Every moment you still haven’t given up is a moment of strength. Second of all, while you’re alone in some ways, you’re never alone in every way. And finally, consider what good things your challenges have brought to your life. When you tell yourself it will be okay, remember how true that really is. It will be okay.

Rainbows and unicorns.

Artwork by Daniel Phillis

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Flinders Community Garden Words

by

Kegan

Daly

H

ave you ever been down to the bottom of Flinders Hill? There you’ll find the Flinders University Community Permaculture Garden, where passionfruit drapes the fence, a fridge is home to worms, and a happy collective of gardeners work together to ensure that this little patch of heaven is well looked after. Each season brings a new crop, new rays of sunshine, and new ideas that are carefully put together by a creative and dirt-loving team.

Community Garden In 2001, a group of savvy and environmentally-conscious Flinders students decided that they’d grow a place where people could relax, garden, share worldly ideas, and learn how to become more self-reliant.

After much consultation with the uni, a slopey, oliveinfested site was chosen. Work commenced on removing weedy olive trees, building garden beds, composting, beginning revegetation, and planting pioneer tree species to start improving the soil’s health.

Now, after 12 years, the transformation is truly incredible.

It’s the longest running permaculture community garden and the only university community garden in the country.

The Community Garden is a 0.2 hectare site adjacent to the Sturt campus which features rare and exotic fruit trees, vegetable gardens, and a revegetation project.

The garden is constructed according to permaculture principles, which encourage creating productive landscapes which promote diversity, stability, and resilient natural ecosystems whilst nurturing human health and interaction with nature.

Permaculture design principles & ethics

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What the bloody hell is permaculture? Well, a boring response would be “it’s the combination of the words ‘permanent’ and ‘agriculture’.” Another, more

concise, explanation would be “the conscious design of landscapes to provide for humans’ needs using ecological principles.”

In essence, permaculture seeks to work with nature rather than against it, and to provide food, water and shelter. Ethics are also important. They are three: Care for planet, care for people, and a fair share for all.

The Strawbale Gazebo project Way back in 2006, community garden members envisioned building an undercover area where all members of the Flinders community could gather to socialize, learn, and relax. The idea of a strawbale gazebo was conceived in response to this need.

A strawbale gazebo would demonstrate sustainable building methods and permaculture principles, while serving an important function that is currently lacking in that area of the uni. New volunteers and active members of the student population have been cooperating and organizing to reinvigorate the strawbale gazebo project and the garden generally.

At this point, the university administration is putting together an updated design package to present to the relevant local council for approval. Alongside these efforts, the community garden is beginning to approach various sections of the university community to seek support and involvement in the project. This could come in the form of awareness raising, written endorsement, funding assistance or workshop participation.

This will take a community effort and we welcome any and all support. If you’re interested in getting involved please make contact with us through email or Facebook. We will run a number of workshops for education students, teachers, and everyone else about how easy it is to build with bales of straw, while also building a structure that we can all use and enjoy!

Upcoming events The garden has many upcoming events that all are welcome to participate in. Come along and see what the garden gnomes and gumboot girls get up to. Focusing on permaculture principles and with our heads full of ideas for growing sustainably and building with strawbales, we will be running workshops and activities at a range of events throughout the rest of the year and beyond.

Organic gardening and permaculture skillshares down in the garden every Wednesday at midday.

Tuesday 17th of September – Sustainafair Stall and spring planting workshops!

Saturday 12th of October – Garden Fiesta! and working bee.

Sunday 1st of December – Permaculture SA comes to the Garden!

Regular stalls in the Plaza.

Stay tuned for more working bees and workshops that will be running throughout the semester!

Contact us Email: flinders.garden@gmail.com Flinders Community Permaculture Garden facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/218449528175453/ Tumblr: www.flindersunigarden.tumblr.com/

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An Open Letter to a MiddleAged Me Words by Katerina Bryant

F

or the 40th Edition of ET I ask myself, what will life be like when I reach 40? Will I be happy when my spanx go down to my ankles and I am a not-so-proud owner of multiple pairs of mum jeans?

Assuming I am not taken by a bungee jumping accident, when I hit the halfway to death mark the year will be 2033.

By then, will they have perfected a flawless technique of cryogenically freezing the human body? Maybe cancer will no longer tear apart families in the 2030s. Perhaps, science would have advanced in extending the lives of animals and I’ll never have to outlive my precious pup. Or just maybe global warming (or vengeful aliens) will have incinerated the earth and no one currently experiencing youthful bliss will make it to the dreaded 40.

Steven Millhauser in his Pulitzer prize-winning novel, Dangerous Laughter, claimed that, “only the mundane offended us, as if we secretly feared it was our destiny.”

Realistically, suburbia is the destiny of the majority of us.

Whilst clipped lawns and picket fences may bring out a cold sweat in some, others cherish the thought of the perfect nuclear family.

Personally, the monotony of middle age and suburbia, of kids and home loans, instil a deadly fear in my heart.

I’m not good at the mundanity of the everyday, and accumulating dull, choking responsibilities is not my ideal life goal. I am skeptical of having to provide a nutritious meal each night, instead of idly consuming ice cream for breakfast and Wizz Fizz for lunch.

I can understand the safe, homely comfort provided by an accounting job, a salad for lunch, and a life insurance policy, but in a world of chaos, nothing you build is safe.

Death is life’s only certainty. So why not live the life you crave?

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Benjamin Franklin coined the phrase, “some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.” I’d rather be buried at 25, knowing I’d lived, than apathetically wandering through the next 50 years with a void in my chest and living for the latest episode of NCIS. Don’t ache for the stable job or the wine and cheese nights with your divorcee friends. Don’t rush into an engagement or decide to have kids because ‘it’s time.’

Cherish these commitment free years and above all else, refuse to buy into the social construction of what your life should be.

You deserve a happiness fashioned on your unique personhood rather than societal constructs. Your happiness could manifest itself in a sky-high loft in Manhattan. Or it could be in owning nothing more than a backpack, exploring the world one country at a time.

Joy can be found at home or at work. It can be found in a painting or in a Woody Allen film. It can even be hidden at the bottom of a bowl of pasta. Happiness is most definitely spread amongst friends and can occasionally be found in a lover.

Bliss is ordering a side of fries. It’s overflowing in your everyday. It may not be in having three kids with boring names or getting the big promotion at work. But then again, it may. Your life is to be explored with enthusiasm, it is not a preordained path to be followed.

Comfort and cheer can even be found in sadness.

Nothing is more freeing than being sad. It allows you to build your life. It pushes you to change. Only from unhappiness, can you grow.

So just for now, forget the traditional four-wheel drive fantasy. With this comes blood pressure woes, tubal ligation and idle gossip at the water cooler. Take a risk or three. Open your mind to what the world offers and politely reject the path many have taken before you. They may even be jealous of your road when disillusion sets in.

“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.”

- Benjamin Franklin

Empire Times: The Early Days

Extracts from the paper were read out to an enraged State Parliament.

In his history of the first 25 years of Flinders, David Hilliard described Empire Times as “racy, argumentative, politically radical, often crude and obscene.” In the first issue, the editor, Martin Fabinyi, blasted a censorship threat in a style that became familiar during the early years of Empire Times: “The SRC are licking the arses of the Union Board bureaucrats who want to censor Empire Times. We don’t intend to let these bastards wear us down.”

In 1972, in a series of articles looking at the student press, The Australian concluded that Empire Times “was the most lively of all the university newspapers.” Much to the dismay of the authorities, Empire Times had one advantage over other student newspapers also battling state-imposed political censorship: it had its own printing press.

Words by James Vigus

“P

olice Disembowel student body” screamed the headline of the new Flinders student newspaper, Empire Times, in April 1969. The lead story was about a “brutal and unjustified attack” by police on Flinders and Adelaide students participating in “a national day of action of demonstrations against the Conscription and Crimes Act.” From the moment it first appeared in March 1969, Empire Times has taken sides. The late 1960s were a period when university students were affected by a deep political radicalization, across the world and at Flinders itself. Empire Times reflected students’ mood of political unrest and rebellion.

Empire Times was highly political in its early years. It was never bland, but saw itself as part of the student rebellion.

The paper stimulated discussion and challenged assumptions on a range of controversial issues, including sexism, the politics of abortion, gay rights, Australian racism, US military bases in Australia, workers’ rights, East Timor, nuclear power, and, of course, the biggest issue of the time, the Vietnam War. The Women’s Empire Times appeared for the first time in 1972, following the establishment of a women’s liberation group at Flinders.

Whilst the paper reflected the radical mood on campuses at the time, in particular at Flinders – which by the early 1970s was one of the country’s most radical universities – it enraged others, particularly in the university administration and the South Australian political class.

Members of the more conservative older generations were outraged at what their children were bringing home from Flinders, reflecting the growing generational divide. Politicians urged that Empire Times should be prosecuted, because it was “pure pornography” from cover to cover, and part of “an evil in our society.”

e more “Members of th lder conservative o generations were outraged at what ere their children w om bringing home fr Flinders” In a town where all the major newspapers are owned

by Rupert Murdoch and in a world where all the talk is of funding cutbacks, a user-pays system, and education being geared towards narrow corporate interests, we have much to learn from the approach to such issues in the early Empire Times. In its early years, Empire Times took sides to argue clearly who was to blame for various injustices on and off campus, and it also made arguments to students about the need to engage in political activity to challenge such injustices, whether they be in relation to public education, workers’ rights, opposing sexism, or challenging racism.

The student movement and student-run press today need to have the same boldness, independence, and radicalism, in order to make the hard arguments against the current decayed state of higher education, which is the direct result of successive and current government and university administrations. Long live the radical student media!

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Protesting The Facade PNG Solution Pretence

Words by Grace Hill

T

housands of people have protested around the country for two weekends, with more protests planned in capital cities at the end of this week. The demonstrations have come in response to the racist immigration policies of the Labor and Liberal parties, with some of the worst attacks we’ve seen on refugees in decades.

Here in Adelaide, 500 people took to the streets for the first rally, and 350 the week after that, with 50 more people joining in en-route. The rallies occupied intersections, flooded Rundle Mall, and filled Adelaide with cries of “free the refugees.” Speakers from the Adelaide Refugee Action Group condemned Labor’s racist scapegoating of refugees. Sarah Hanson-Young from the Greens spoke against the abuses refugees are subjected to by the Australian Government. Claire O’Connor, a prominent South Australian barrister, addressed one of the rallies, confirming that it is not illegal to seek asylum and that the Australian government are violating international law with their new, vile policy.

Last Wednesday night, Adelaide activists received a tipoff that Kevin Rudd was to be in Adelaide the next night for a fundraising dinner. Rudd was unable to simply slip into Adelaide after announcing his anti-refugee policy – at least not without being greeted by a furious crowd.

His dinner was picketed by 100 angry protestors, and inside the restaurant no conversation could be heard over the crowd’s chants of “Shame Kevin, Shame!”

Rudd’s fundraiser was cancelled, then moved, severely

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Excuse Sham

disrupting the few hours he had to spend in Adelaide before jetting off to Perth. Wherever Rudd goes, he meets protest. Aside from the massive protests which attracted nearly 10,000 people around the country last weekend, protests have been held outside Rudd’s functions, and hundreds of protesters descended upon Rudd’s office, singing “Pack up Kevin and Throw Away the Key,” waving pro-refugee banners and surrounding the building.

More protests are being organized in the weeks to come.

Another protest will happen this weekend on August 3rd outside Parliament House. It’s crucial that people act.

Labor parliamentarians are intent on preserving their own political careers by extinguishing the rights of others.

They consider short-term electoral gain more important than human rights, more important than the right of all students to access education, more important than the rights of workers, and more important than the rights of queer people to be treated equally. Labor is attacking refugees with this new policy, and is attacking students through the education cuts, in order to win their election.

From a so-called worker’s party, this is unacceptable.

All students should be outraged, and we need to fight if we want change. Further rallies for refugee rights will be advertised on campus, and the next big protest to fight the education cuts will take place on the 20th of August at 3:00pm, Ligertwood Court, North Terrace.

(Written 1st August 2013)

In Defence of Radicalism Words by Ira Herbold

I

n contemporary political discourse, the term ‘radical’ finds itself being used almost exclusively as a pejorative—radicalism, the prevailing view insists, is to be strenuously avoided in favour of polite moderation.

It has become standard for various fanatics, from Islamist militants and murderers to Islamophobic lunatics like Anders Breivik, to be described as radical.

This is a false association; when one considers their hostility to modernity and emphasis on some sort of ‘traditional’ morality, it becomes clear that these people are the most plainly reactionary in the world.

Genuine radicalism is the polar opposite of this.

Derived from the Latin radix, meaning ‘root’, radicalism is a set of political principles which seek to alter social structures and value systems in a fundamental way, not to revert to an idealised past but to progress to a more equitable future. Radicals seek not to simply plaster over the warts of our world with the temporary fix of reform, but to strike at the root of the problems which plague our society, and initiate deep and lasting change.

The derision of radicalism often stems, in my estimation, from the scorn of extremism. Extremists, goes this argument, do nothing but pollute the discourse and turn everything into a shouting match. What is need is a calm, moderate political conversation to find the reasonable way forward. It is true that radicals are extreme, in the sense that their political principles generally go beyond the standard fare, but this should not be held against them. The appropriate reply to the anti-extremist argument is perhaps best put by Martin Luther King, Jr. “[T]he question,” wrote King in his Letter from Birmingham Jail, “is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice of for the extension of justice?”

This is an essential point. We face an extreme situation in the world today, where we produce more than enough food to feed the global population and yet millions die of hunger, where wealth inequality has progressed to the point where the net income of the world’s 100 richest people would be sufficient to end extreme poverty four times over, and where the hegemonic march of neoliberal capitalism that produces and sustains these inequalities shows no signs of slowing. This is a situation which unequivocally calls for an extreme response. To again quote King, “the nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.”

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The oft-encountered preference for moderation and disdain for extremism may simply be an attempt to disguise cynicism as wisdom or steely-eyed realism.

Do not be fooled; cynicism is the furthest thing from wisdom. It is, rather, a kind of self-imposed blindness.

The cynic already knows why things are the way they are—people are inherently selfish and greedy, and must be distrusted—and so all experience is passed through a filter which reinterprets the motives of those involved to ensure that they line up with this preconceived notion. No thought is spared for why people might behave in these ways, beyond a simplistic account of an unchanging human nature.

Idealism (and I here mean idealism in the colloquial, not philosophical, sense) is not a thing to be feared. While one should always be wary of divorcing one’s ideals from any proper material grounding and slipping into utopianism, the possession of high ideals to strive for, which go beyond mere moderation, is essential. Those who decry idealism, urge moderation, and denounce extremism the loudest are often those whose interests lie in defending the existing state of things; it is hardly a coincidence that those pundits and preachers who condemn a radical transformation of society as impossible are also those who gain most from the preservation of the status quo.

Radicalism is not something to disdain, scorn, or avoid.

Don’t be misled by those who seek to marginalise radicals as a lunatic fringe seeking to undermine decent society.

Radicals do seek to undermine, this much is true, but only because they recognise that society as it stands is an engine of inequality and injustice—not so decent, in other words—and they are unwilling to leave this be. In the words of Alain Badiou, “I refuse to be content with the ‘least evil’. It is very fashionable right now to be modest, not to think big. Grandeur is considered a metaphysical evil. Me, I am for grandeur, I am for heroism. I am for the affirmation of the thought and the deed.”

Celebrating 40 Years Of Empire Times

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Refections On Editing [ET] Words by Simon Gray

I

t’s almost ten years ago that I was an editor of Empire Times. I became a reviewer in 2003 because I was broke and wanted the media freebies. That year’s editors, Tom Bettany and Stephen Lockwood, found me a reliable enough contributor that Tom asked me and another ET regular and drinking buddy, Casper Fertier, to replace the existing editor Stephen. We had to compete for the office. This was pre-VSU; there was allocated funding and an election to survive.

Nominees competing for the office are either medianerds who want the experience, or politicians who want the power and influence of any office they can get. Thankfully we were of the former, but we had affiliated with a party - so we were supported in the election. Where politicians thrived - we did too.

Editing ET was something that consumed one’s life and we threw ourselves in that office whole-heartedly. We had themed issues that saw us in costumes, or decorating the office with odd décor during deadline week, and that was fun. We put emphasis on getting entertaining content amongst the news and politics required of the “students’ voice.” Thankfully, our work generated an active readership and regular contributors. This was a high point.

I was regarded as the hippie of the three editors; along with my arts reviews, the environmental articles became my responsibility. I learned pretty quickly that people trying to raise awareness about environmental issues can’t spell to save themselves, let alone the planet.

Eventually, however, I transitioned from hippie-arts guy to controversial jerk when campus politicians reacted angrily to comic strips I was publishing. These days they would be described as containing insensitive ‘triggers.’

At the time though, it was just labelled sexism and I got condemned by the student council, which was quite a rare motion. This was the most remarkable experience

during my time in the office.

Some of the angry reactions were from the same politicians who helped me get elected. It was bad for any kind of student politician to be associated with a condemned office bearer. Come the election for the following year, Tom had completed his two-year term and I didn’t bother nominating without the support of a party. Casper gave it a shot by himself, but lost to one of the two new teams that were party-endorsed. At the post-tavern party I got wind of some outrageous rumours about me from my new political enemies. That was a low point.

Some of the batons were passed to our contributors and I contributed to their volumes here and there. I maintained some contact with the media-nerds among them. The political re-shuffle in the office did cost ET some readers and contributors, but this was only a year or two before the Howard Government’s VSU legislation passed and all the funding fell out of the paper anyhow.

It’s sad that the silly idiocy of the politics is getting press (again), but the high points were justifiably so and something of which I am proud. It’s great that ET is enjoying a re-boot around the forty year anniversary, especially as I was editing around the thirty year anniversary. I hope there are enough media-nerds to ensure the current editions have entertaining content and a healthy readership.

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BACK< & FUTURE: ON STUDENT MEDIA AND VSU WORDS BY STEPH WALKER

E

mpire Times has been around for 40 years. Well, it was around for 39 years, and then there was a bit of a break. I’ll get to that in a second, but first I’ll tell you a little about student publications. I am lucky enough to be the Media Officer for FUSA, and part of my job is to support Simon, Sarah, and Preesan and teach them the ropes.

In 2009 I edited On Dit, but all in all I spent four years with On Dit, a year in Toronto with another couple of student publications, and finally wrote and designed a guidebook for student editors. This year I was the coordinator of the NEWS conference, run by Express Media. It was the only national conference for student publications in Australia, although another one has popped up this year.

I’ve been involved with NEWS since I attended as editor in 2009. This year, I brought your editor Sarah with me to Melbourne where she met most of the other student editors of publications around Australia – more on them later too.

In Australia, the first student run publication created was Farrago (University of Melbourne, 1925), followed by Honi Soit (University of Sydney, 1929), On Dit (University of Adelaide, 1932), and Semper Floreat (University of Queensland, 1932). Many editors speak of their newspaper or magazine following ‘dynasty’ periods. I think you’ll notice a bit of that as you read some of the past editors’ pieces outlining their experiences. While each publication is unique, if you take a step back you can argue there are recurring motifs. Within each student publication, there exist multiple pressures in the form of funding cuts, societal changes, and a shift from year to year as each new editorship alters the concept of their student paper.

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Empire Times, like all student publications, has never been without controversy – I’m sure ET oracle Andrew McHugh will reference the longest student protest in Australia. That was here: students took over the Registry

Building for 28 days. Through ebb and flow, Empire Times remains an integral part of campus culture, and a platform from which many passionate and talented individuals have found their passion.

A few notable former editors of student magazines: Lindsay Tanner (Farrago), Bob Ellis, Clive James, Laurie Oakes (Honi Soit), David Penberthy, Nick Xenophon (On Dit), Kate Ellis (Empire Times), and Peter Costello (Lot’s Wife). Let’s not get into notable contributors, but a great many journos and politicians have written for student publications. More often than not, when I sit down to watch Q&A at least one person on the panel comes from a student media or student politics background.

Pretty cool, hey? But also a little messed up. Many of those that came before us enjoyed a free education, honoraria for editing, or paid contributions during their time at University. It’s worth noting that many ex-student politicians (not those listed above) supported voluntary student unionism – and/or the new round of funding cuts coming our way. Back in the day people got jobs after being involved with campus politics or publications: it’s funny that those lucky enough to have enjoyed this seem fine with denying young emerging talents the same opportunity.

In 2006 when VSU was introduced by the Howard Government, student publications were starved of funding and support. Those of you too young to have experienced the soul-destroying nature of VSU probably hate paying your SSAF fee. Please don’t. Of your fee, a few cents go to Empire Times. That seems like a pretty good rate – you can write for it, read it, win stuff from it, and most importantly, you can mould it into what you want it to be. Same with the campus – lots of proper grown-ups I talk to think that you’re all lazy, apathetic students who couldn’t care less what’s happening around you. I think they’re forgetting that you all have jobs and stuff.

“Lots of proper grown-ups I talk to think that you’re all lazy, apathetic students who couldn’t care less what’s happening around you. I think they’re forgetting that you all have jobs and stuff.”

have been far more difficult if it wasn’t for Flinders Press and the lovely team there who support and encourage both the editors and myself. I can honestly say they’re the nicest printers I’ve ever met (the others I’ve met are monsters).

Lastly, there is a very limited record of the impact of student media or its history. The archives here aren’t digitised, and I’d really like it if we could digitise them as a bit of a happy birthday to Empire Times. I’ve flipped through those archives and they are insane. Someone told me that back in the day the editors placed a drop of acid on a page of each copy of ET for one particular issue. Now, I’m in no way condoning that, and to my editors – don’t ever do that. But gosh, that sounds pretty crazy to me, and I reckon we should start taking a non-literal leaf out of the old school ET and making this campus feel a little more student-centric.

Although while we’re on the topic, I could use a favour from all of you: come and tell FUSA what to do. We get a percentage of the SSAF to do a bunch of very necessary stuff. You might not get to see it, and if you haven’t, you’re very lucky. Our little office on the Plaza, with the giant FUSA stickers on the windows, sees thousands of students seeking financial and academic help, plus all the fun stuff – events, clubs, and societies. We’re terribly lonely without students, so follow FUSA on Facebook or Twitter and I’ll totally keep you up to date with stuff you should know about!

The effect of VSU has been profound. When it hit, Empire Times crumbled under severe financial strain.

It obliterated the funding of student publications – the meager honoraria and umbrella organisations funding student publications disappeared, leaving them with little choice and limited means. Each year since VSU, papers have fallen into obscurity, disappearing then perhaps popping up under another brand, often with a smaller print run and less frequent editions. The VSU era has been the most demoralising event in Australian student media history, at least in the sense that its impact has been felt and referenced off campus consistently.

So I reckon you’ve come to uni at a bit of a weird time. Gone, it seems, are the sun-kissed days of free education and protests and people staying on campus to have fun. I arrived at uni right when VSU hit, and now I’m working to reinstate some form of communication between grown-ups and students. Oh, and a bit of fun.

Whoever’s taking my Lionel Ritchie posters down, I wish you wouldn’t, ‘cause they’re funny.

I’m very proud to have the opportunity to help bring ET back. It’s worth noting here, too, that ET has always been printed by Flinders Press. Our relaunch this year would

On Dit Magazine, Vol. 77 Issue 8

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A Brief History of (Empire) Time(s) Words by Andrew McHugh

E

mpire Times began in 1969 because there was “a great amount of dissatisfaction among the students” about “the format and price of the then student magazine Gita,” according to Gita’s Associate Editor/Production Manager Rod Boswell. A few “progressive-minded students decided to actually do something about the iniquitous situation,” and obtained a grant for the purchase of a typewriter and headliner machine from the former Union.

The “respectfully submitted” report from Rod Boswell went on to say that he and the Editor (Martin Fabinyi) decided to buy a printing press “in a fit of pique,” and that was how the first official student newspaper in Australia to be fully printed and published by students came into being. Our A&M Multilith 2066 offset press was rumoured to have been the one used to produce the first forged decimal currency notes in Australia, so Empire Times got off to a controversial start from which it rarely deviated.

Essentially, it was only mirroring — from a slightly fractured student perspective — the intention of the University itself, which was not to replicate previous universities, but to be more egalitarian and forwardthinking. At the time, Flinders was a magnet for students with an artistic bent, because of its Humanities courses in general and Drama in particular. Of course, there was student unrest in most parts of the Western world at the time, so it certainly wasn’t something in the water or air at Flinders in particular.

In the early years the luxury of owning and controlling a printing press allowed the student editors to rail against Australia’s draconian censorship regime, which was often just an excuse to print somewhat risqué and sexist images and content. Of course, the times were changing in many ways, so the “free love” ethos jostled with the early stirrings of Womenʼs Liberation. The counterculture was alive and well then, as it is now, and so was an awareness of “isms” other than capitalism.

I editorialised that Empire Times should be “campus oriented, provide an alternative news service to that already offered” and that it be “available for use by the various pressure groups operating within both the

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campus and society at large.” In fact, that could be the definition of ET in almost any year, and it was the tradition that I inherited. The paper reflected, refracted, and sometimes wilfully ignored both the external and internal community for the next nearly 39 years, until it became the victim of the VSU legislation in 2006.

The list of editors over the years throws up some interesting names and current occupations, too numerous to mention here, and even includes a few who continue to work as journalists and/or social commentators today. It is worth noting, though, that it took 32 years before an Empire Times editor made the ultimate sacrifice and became an Advertiser journalist — but not for long. If there is one unifying characteristic of Empire Times editors over the years, it has been their belief in social justice which has often lasted beyond their undergraduate tears.

Production of the paper was usually an all-night affair (and Iʼm certain it still is ), often taking several nights and days, and the changes in technology over the years have been significant. It has gone from electric typewriters, headliners, letraset, bromides, wonderfully addictive rubber cement and other arcane potions and arts known only to the cognoscenti, through to computer layout programs. The press itself had a couple of makeovers, and the last one was a more substantial Heidelberg offset machine, which was last seen on the back of a truck heading for parts unknown.

The merger of the Sturt CAE and Flinders University foreshadowed the end of printing the paper on campus, as the limitations of a sheet-fed printing press became apparent. Empire Times became more like other student newspapers (produced on campus but printed externally) at about the same time that Flinders itself became more like other universities, but for a very different reason: the “Dawkinisation” of Australian Universities.

The big issues over the years? Take your pick: the Vietnam war; the Gulf war; the war on Iraq (well, any war really); conscription; the nature of education and who it serves; education policies of the government of the day, especially to do with fees (TEAS, HECS, and their ilk); US imperialism; censorship; socialism, communism and

most other “isms” (including racism and feminism); dope smoking; Refectory food; the University (its rules and policies); assessment; the environment; nuclear mining, and the list goes on forever. Nothing was too big, or too small, or too trivial, or too obscure, for Empire Times to have an opinion about.

I suppose the overriding ethos of the paper for most of its life has been its irreverence toward all authority; it cocked a snoot and gave the two-fingered or one-fingered salute to all of the powers that it identified (including its own, or the student bodyʼs, at various times). Hopefully Empire Times will always continue this proud tradition, in honour of all those previous editors who gave up more sleep than you might think possible and more academic study than was good for them to make the magazine, which tended to increasingly become an academic and financial burden.

As long as there is an Empire Times, there will be ET editors, helpers and contributors, because itʼs the best student job on any campus, and the most rewarding. So raise your glasses to the resurrected Empire Times, 40 volumes on.

Andrew McHugh edited Empire Times in 1974, 1975, and 1976, and has contributed to the magazine every year since 1972.

VOX Tom Degree: Bachelor of Science What are you most looking forward to this semester?

Finishing my degree!

What was the most exciting thing you did in the holidays?

Went to Sydney to see Manchester United.

If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it? In my Lancer.

What is the weirdest or most disturbing thing you’ve witnessed on public transport?

Public display of affection, to a high degree.

What is your greatest fear?

Heights.

If you were a supernatural creature, what type would you be? A unicorn.

[36]

Olivia

Justin

Degree: Bachelor of Media and Cultural Studies

Degree: Bachelor of Behavioural Science (Psychology)

What are you most looking forward to this semester? I am looking forward to being immersed into a different culture.

What are you most looking forward to this semester?

Finishing.

What was the most exciting thing you did in the holidays? I went to Nashville, TN. If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it? In a large swimming pool, holding its trunk out as a fountain to breathe, of course.

What is the weirdest or most disturbing thing you’ve witnessed on public transport?

Someone singing opera on the bus.

If you were a supernatural creature, what type would you be? An invisible horse like in Harry Potter.

What was the most exciting thing you did in the holidays?

Saw Pacific Rim. It was AMAZING!!

If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it? Underneath my bed with all the other scary things.

What is the weirdest or most disturbing thing you’ve witnessed on public transport?

A guy talking to himself.

What is your greatest fear?

Commitment.

If you were a supernatural creature, what type would you be? A ghost.

POPS JEDIDIAH Therese Degree: Bachelor of Behavioural Science (Psychology)

Degree: Bachelor of International Studies

What are you most looking forward to this semester?

Making friends.

What are you most looking forward to this semester?

Travelling the world.

What was the most exciting thing you did in the holidays?

AvCon.

What was the most exciting thing you did in the holidays?

Partying.

If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it? Behind your mama!

If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it? Home.

What is the weirdest or most disturbing thing you’ve witnessed on public transport?

Someone getting a hand job on the bus.

What is your greatest fear?

Heights.

If you were a supernatural creature, what type would you be? A griffin.

What is the weirdest or most disturbing thing you’ve witnessed on public transport?

An old lady swearing.

Jeremy Degree: Bachelor of Arts What are you most looking forward to this semester?

Graduating.

What was the most exciting thing you did in the holidays?

Locked my keys in the car.

If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it? A shed.

What is the weirdest or most disturbing thing you’ve witnessed on public transport?

I don’t catch public transport.

What is your greatest fear? Foul.

What is your greatest fear?

Spiders.

If you were a supernatural creature, what type would you be? I don’t know.

If you were a supernatural creature, what type would you be? A ghost.

[37]

Spotlight:

The Predator

I

t has been mentioned that use of the ‘Dandy’ stereotype was a coded way of communicating to the audience a character’s homosexuality. His perfumes, fashion sense, and foppishness became obvious red flags to the average viewer as to his preferences.

However, during the 1940s there was a gradual shift away from the tried and tested method of depicting gay men (and women to a lesser extent). The femininity and passiveness of the past was replaced with an aggressive level of detachment, and intimidation.

The Dandy was mostly a harmless character, but was, at worst, affably evil in some situations. He was never physically or psychologically imposing. His counterpart however, possessed a number of qualities which created an exclusively antagonistic character archetype.

One of the crucial components of such a character’s construction is the level of moral, spiritual, and emotional detachment that was often seen onscreen. The progenitor for the antagonistic homosexual in film is Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray, who has a dualistic element to his personality and lifestyle. His personal life is dominated by extreme vices and other antisocial behaviours. To hide this, his outward appearance obeys all social conventions and moralities.

This artificial exterior became a mainstay for the new and improved gay antagonist. It is also the lynchpin which holds together all the other elements which provided cinema with many notable homosexual villains in its ‘Golden Age.’ The first example of such a character is the ever vigilant and loyal Mrs. Danvers from Alfred Hitchcock’s Rebecca (1940). As the head maid, she was adamant in haunting the “second” Mrs. de Winter, driving home the notion that she could never replace the first lady of the house.

Danvers had an inhuman, ethereal quality. The new Mrs. de Winter could never escape her, seemingly having to deal with an omnipresent and bitter head maid.

This cold, calculated persistence would crumble into a type of mania whenever Danvers reflected on her former employer, Rebecca. As the plot unfolds, the audience comes to the realisation that Mrs. Danvers’ villainy is propelled by her lesbian obsession. The core of her being is completely submerged in a deep, almost pagan

worship of Rebecca. Her passion manages to hollow out her being which, in turn, transforms her into a mere vice with a human-like appearance.

Similarly, the titular Rebecca, although not seen in the film, is eerily reminiscent of Mr. Gray in her secrets and moral degeneration. From what the audience is told, the film paints a picture of her as a manipulative, mesmerising figure, much unlike Gustav Moreau’s Salome. Practically, she is the inverse of Danvers. Her romanticism and beauty are a cover for sadistic puppeteering and emotional apathy.

Throughout the film, the second Mrs. de Winters is essentially preyed upon and stalked by a jealous, spiteful lesbian, sometimes masked as a simple, loyal servant mourning the memory of a lost wife.

Likewise, Hitchcock provides another perfect example in Bruno Anthony from Strangers on a Train (1951).

His exterior is one of charm, social etiquette and daintiness. He is a subtle perversion of the past Dandy type. Underneath the highly extroverted layer of his personality lies extreme ruthlessness and sociopathy.

Bruno’s femininity is turned on its head when, in certain scenes, he displays the ease at which he can summon significant physical strength. The unmasked Bruno is cold and distant. He is chillingly calculating, amoral, obsessive, and hateful. All this manages to ooze from his typically calm, cool, and detached demeanour. There is a predatory nature to him as his eyes lock onto the hero, Guy, and he proceeds to stalk Guy throughout the film.

The evolution of gay characters in cinema brought with it the creation and perpetuation of an inwardly rotten, archetypal homosexual. Their coded orientation was a mark, a sign of a degenerative or maladapted person who often lead a double life. Danvers, Rebecca and Bruno are much like Judaic dybbuks — persons possessed and overcome with spiritual decay, manipulating and preying on other characters around them.

Words by Dorian Bašić

Flim Reviews B

efore watching Mud I felt that I had seen one too many films starring Matthew McConaughey in my lifetime and would have been quite content never having to endure another. However, I can safely tell you now that McConaughey’s been holding out on us. Mud will completely change your perception of this actor who, unfortunately, has a reputation for appearing in cringe-worthy romantic comedies. McConaughey’s performance as the disturbed yet romantic fugitive, Mud, in the movie of the same name is heart-wrenching and extremely memorable. The film is written and directed by relative newcomer Jeff Nichols, who offers an original and refreshing take on a coming-of-age story about love and its disappointments.

Tye Sheridan plays Ellis, a fourteen-year-old boy who, together with his friend Neckbone (Jacob Lofland), is starting to venture away from his family’s houseboat on the Mississippi River in a small Arkansas Delta fishing village. They discover Mud living in an abandoned boat on a remote island and start a tentative friendship with him.

These young actors are just starting their careers, but both give enthralling performances and are instrumental in providing the film with its fresh perspective. Mud tells the boys he is waiting on the island for his girlfriend Juniper (Reese Witherspoon) and eventually reveals he is hiding from the police after shooting a man who hurt Juniper and her unborn baby.

Parallels are drawn between Mud and the young Ellis who is traumatised to learn his parents are considering divorce. Ellis starts looking up to Mud as a father figure and completely believes in and relies on Mud and Juniper’s love story, despite warnings from local man Tom (Sam Shepard). Tom tells Ellis that Mud was a pathological liar growing up. The boys begin to help Mud repair the old boat to use in his escape, all the while acting as messengers between him and Juniper. The drama escalates as a gang led by the father of the man Mud murdered arrives in the small town to try to find Mud, threatening the boys in the process.

The role of fathers and father figures and their importance throughout a person’s life is a major theme. Despite the film’s male focus, the dependence of the male characters on the women they love in order to be truly happy is

evident. Some critics believe that the female characters in Mud are selfish and nasty, and have labelled this portrayal as sexist. However, I feel Nichols was merely trying to include realistic examples of how relationships can play out. It’s certainly not always males who are the cause of relationship breakdowns, and I’m sure male viewers of Mud will appreciate this twist. The female characters in this film are neither selfish, nor victims.

Reese Witherspoon is excellent in her portrayal of Juniper, who decides to turn down an offer that strangely enough may have been the best thing for her. Somehow through Witherspoon’s subtle yet meaningful scenes, which often include minimal dialogue, the audience knows, as Juniper does, that there is probably not a bright future ahead for her. Despite this, she chooses not to lie to Mud, exemplifying her integrity as she ultimately decides not to use him as she has in the past.

The Mississippi River is the perfect setting. The river provides many of the poor with an income and Mud with his hiding place. It is a place of loneliness and desperation, but one that has fuelled the boy’s childhood and friendship, and a place that Mud hopes will provide him with freedom. Action, fear, suspense, and heartbreak are skilfully combined to make this film unforgettable without a hint of predictability. One downside is that at 130 minutes, the film is quite lengthy, and drama-hungry viewers may feel that it drags. Nonetheless, this movie deserves recognition that it is unlikely to get, and it is a huge shame that it has only had a limited release globally.

It’s that time of the cinema year where nothing truly exciting is hitting our local screens. Mud is the exception.

Words by Annie Robinson

“Never attempt a genre hybrid” is a golden rule of filmmaking, especially if you’re hoping to sell your Australian film in an international market. 100 Bloody Acres must be the exception to prove that rule, because after an incredibly successful run in America, it’s making its debut in Australian cinemas.

S

hot largely in the Adelaide Hills—including a little place called ‘Fairyland’ which you can find just outside Lobethal— 100 Bloody Acres tells the story of Sophie (Anna McGahan), Wesley (Jamie Kristian) and James (Oliver Ackland), three youths on their way to a music festival who become stranded on a deserted country road when their car breaks down. They manage to get a lift from truck driver and co-owner of Morgan Brothers fertiliser company, Reg Morgan (Damon Herriman), who just has to make a quick stop at the farm on the way to the festival. As it turns out, Reg is trying to impress his older brother and business partner Lindsay (the effortlessly psychotic Angus Sampson) with his initiative to harvest some fresh stock of their secret ingredient.

In keeping with true horror form, almost all of the characters will be killed off throughout the film, but the balance of the comedy results in twists that you’ll never see coming. Screenwriters/directors Colin and Cameron Cairnes noted that they became so fond of the characters during the writing process that it was painful to write their deaths. The affection they have for the characters really comes across in the film and as the characters become more well rounded with each scene, audience members will find themselves getting attached to them too, rooting for them until the end.

Be prepared to laugh, cringe, and laugh-cringe at this hilariously bloody Aussie film which exposes the true horrors of small business ownership.

Words by Cara Solly

B

ig women with bold personalities, badass attitudes, and a boundless ability to make people piss themselves have been making mainstream movies their bitch. Actresses such as Aussie Rebel Wilson and Melissa McCarthy are perfect examples of this, finding international recognition from their roles in estrogen fests Pitch Perfect and Bridesmaids respectively. In Paul Feig’s new film The Heat, McCarthy asserts herself as a strong screen presence in kick-ass chick flicks, and her comedic collaboration with co-star Sandra Bullock brings some fierce, funny female fire to the big screen.

McCarthy plays loose cannon beat cop Mullins, with an arsenal in her fridge. Bullock plays neurotic FBI agent Ashburn with a thing for stealing the neighbour’s cat for company. The two tentatively team up to bring down drug lord Larkin, and together wreak all kinds of hilarious havoc across Boston as polar opposites. Both actresses have portrayed similar characters in the past (McCarthy’s pooping in the sink, puppy stealing Meghan from Bridesmaids, and Bullock’s bitter, bossy book editor Margaret from The Proposal). As such, the film is slightly predictable, but awesome nonetheless. Packing heat and hilarity, McCarthy and Bullock’s performances provide practically endless entertainment, working together with the same amusing awkwardness as Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell in The Other Guys. Many minor characters and cameos such as Mullins’ unintelligible and unintelligent family, a fascist albino, and McCarthy’s hubby as her on-screen squeeze should also be credited for their contribution to the comedy that is The Heat.

Feig has followed in similar fashion to his first femaleoriented film Bridesmaids, continuing to foster McCarthy’s comedic talent and giving her some great backup in Bullock. As a result, The Heat has become the newest addition to the aforementioned list of contemporary comedies dominated by women.

Words by Georgia Brass

Music Reviews Phosphorescent – Muchacho

P Cloud Control – Dream Cave

T

he 60’s are back! Following the path carved out by bands such as Tame Impala, the psychedelic sounds of the 60’s are back on the radio with a California rock twist. Sydney’s Cloud Control’s much-awaited second album Dream Cave really shows their influences from their last three years of touring with bands such as The Temper Trap, Vampire Weekend, and Arcade Fire.

The new single off the album, ‘Dojo Rising,’ gave me the feeling that I was on a beach with a Corona in my hand and a girl at my side, until it ended four-and-a-half minutes later and I was brought back to reality, where I was at home, out of beer, and had nothing but a box of tissues. At least there are more tracks afterwards to keep the imagination going. There is a fair bit of diversity in sound over the album. ‘Moonrabbit’ sounds like a song The Beatles never got round to writing, but if these guys start going round saying they’re as big as The Beatles then they might run into the same problems as Oasis, Kanye, and Bieber, and no one really likes that!

Instrumentally, no single track really stands out, but you can see each musician’s underlying talent, with raw psychedelic guitar riffs, groovy bass lines, and quirky lyrics. This is a great album overall and you won’t be able to resist dancing along (or at least swaying, if you’re not too big on dancing), especially when tracks like ‘Happy Birthday’ come on. If you’re a big Triple J fan then definitely give Dream Cave a listen, it’s unlikely to disappoint.

Words by Angus Rawson

[42]

hosphorescent is the alias of lo-fi American musician Matthew Houck. Muchacho is his sixth album, but he is relatively unknown in Australia. Muchacho is an album I am very happy to have stumbled upon. The intriguing thing about it is its sense of familiarity. It feels as though you have heard it before – it’s like remembering an old friend – but then it twists and turns in new exciting ways. Muchacho does not fit nicely into a genre, but seamlessly moves between elements of indie rock, folk, and psychedelic. Phosphorescent also slips into the new Americana style starting to emerge among artists such as Kurt Vile.

Houck largely produced Muchacho himself. He cites Brian Eno’s Apollo: Atmospheres and Soundtracks as a starting point, combining its ambient elements with Mexican tinges. The production of this album is high quality, with every overlapping element perfectly balanced, creating a full but not cluttered sound. The album is very consistent, with each track complementing the track before it. This makes it a wonderfully satisfying album as a whole.

Muchacho begins with the dreamy ‘Sun, Arise!’ and finishes with a reprise titled ‘Sun’s Arising.’ This creates the feeling of a journey, where the starting point is revisited, but seen and interpreted in a new way after the experiences in between. ‘Ride On/Right On’ is a fun song that uses organ and fuzzy guitar sounds to create a relaxed and catchy tune. ‘The Quotidian Beasts’ is a standout track. It is melancholic and subtly uses strings beautifully. Houck’s vocals are usually a cool drawl, but in this track they soar and combine perfectly with the instrumentation. Muchacho is a very impressive album, and hopefully it will cause Australians will start to listen more to Phosphorescent, as he has great talent in both writing and producing music.

Words by Elizabeth Daw

Snakadaktal – Sleep in the Water

S Bliss n Eso – Circus in the Sky

B

liss n Eso’s latest album Circus in the Sky is an easy buy for any fan of either Australian hip-hop or the boys themselves. The opening three tracks ‘Unite,’ ‘Pale Blue Dot,’ and ‘I Am Somebody (feat Nas)’ have beautifully natural ebb and flow; they ease you into the album in increments.

Unfortunately, this organic start cuts off abruptly with ‘Home Is Where The Heart Is,’ a nostalgic look at the origins of Bliss n Eso, which – like many of the tracks in this album – is largely about the artists’ memories, but it feels relatable nonetheless. These tracks are accompanied by a generous use of movie samples and references (including track titles like ‘Animal Kingdom’ and ‘Reservoir Dogs’), which help to bring us into the world of Bliss n Eso. Like much of Australian hip-hop, by the end of the album the artists feel like old friends.

‘Reservoir Dogs’ is a treat of a track for any fan of Australian hip-hop, featuring 360, Pez, Seth Sentry, and Drapht (all notable names in the hip-hop scene).

However, like many large hip-hop collaborations, it drops the artists’ names numerous times, feeling a little like an industry circle-jerk. Now if that little jab had your sensibilities shivering, this album is not for you.

There is repeated use of misogynistic profanities and unapologetic innuendo: you have been warned. ‘Animal Kingdom’ is a gem on this album, with Bliss n Eso’s signature flow and great references, it’s short, sharp and fast. Tracks ‘Bomb Like Banksy’, ‘I Am Somebody (feat Nas),’ and ‘My Life (feat Ceekay Jones)’ bring a notable theme of self-confidence to the album; they call on you to be yourself and be proud.

Overall, this album is a good choice for any existing fan of the genre. It has a distinctive ‘lie about the house and reminisce’ vibe, which is great for a Sunday afternoon.

However, it isn’t anything great or new, and it’s probably not for newcomers to the genre.

Words by Jack McEntee

leep in the Water is Snakadaktal’s debut LP. The Melbourne five-piece has delivered a celestial record that brings its title to life. This brand of mood music is divisive: listeners will either love or hate its simple, haunting melodies and dreamy pop. Diversity is not a word that comes to mind; many of the tracks ripple off each other, with key melodies and harmonies repeated throughout.

‘Fall Underneath’ is ghost-like, resplendent with layered echoes. This song will work for late nights, driving, contemplating beautiful tropical things. Sean’s vocals on ‘Hung On Tight’ are refreshing and addictive. The first whispers of pain and heartache are present. ‘Deep’ is a welcome change: the sexier bass line contrasts sensually with Phoebe’s airy voice, although the chorus is a tad boring and the track — like many on the album — lacks punch. ‘Isolate’ is way catchier, and the closest thing to a sing-along to that point. It’s not as smooth as I would like, but it’s pretty all the same. ‘Ghost’ is suitably eerie: beautifully, sleepily stoned. Grab a cuppa and hide from the world. ‘Union’ is more of the same — soft, gentle and lyrically bare. A much-needed upbeat rhythm brings ‘Feel the Ocean Hold Me Under’ to life. Closing out the album are ‘The Sun’ I, II, and III — all fresher, less produced, and without the same suffocating underwater vibes that define the other tracks. ‘The Sun II’ gets solid marks for the cool beat: certainly a favourite.

The standout is ‘Sleep’, hidden right toward the end of the record. The beautiful notes, plucked like raindrops, set the scene perfectly for Sean’s voice. The bass line is better, and the beautiful harmonies and lone tambourine slowly build to a stunning pace. The track becomes optimistic and heartfelt, packed with emotion. The lyrics are stark, and it is their repetition that is so powerful, while the music is Polyphonic Spree-esque in its crashingly passionate sounds.

If there were more tracks like ‘Sleep’, this album might just be excellent. Instead, it slides around within itself, leaving you wanting more singing and dancing and less lying and listening. It’s beautiful work regardless, but definitely not everyone’s cup of tea.

Words by Holly Richter

[43]

Theatre Review:

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) Words by Joshua and Kirstie McLean

“You sit there before us, a living symbol that society’s capacity to comprehend, much less attain to William Shakespeare, has been systematically sodomised by soap operas, reamed by reality T.V, and violently violated by the VOICE! But have no fear…. YOUR INTELLECTUAL SALVATION IS HERE!!” – Nic English

F

rom the moment you take your seat, you’d better be sure to have both legs and arms inside at all times, because you are about to embark on a whacky and interactive adventure of all 37 of Shakespeare’s plays.

Whether or not you can tell the difference between who William Shakespeare and Will.I.Am are, there’s no need to panic. Three outlandish actors, Damian Callinan, Nic English and Tim Overton, take their audience through the ins and outs of one of history’s greatest playwrights.

Whilst covering far too many roles to mention, the actors create a hilariously funny show that keeps the audience gripping at their seats from side-splitting laughter.

But don’t be fooled into thinking it’s all bright lights (by Ben Flett) and laughs. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) may leave you laughing, but expect blood to be shed and vomiting as the performers attempt to comprehensively cover Shakespeare’s ‘blood and guts’ phase. The performance incorporates contemporary issues and references such as political climate change denialists, modernised music (composed

by Stuart Day), alternative slants on the traditional Shakespearean props (designed by Ailsa Paterson), and modern displays of period courtship. All the while, Callinan, English and Overton work to craft an arousing atmosphere, with references to the audience members peppered throughout. The actors work tirelessly towards the great feat of covering every work of William Shakespeare while also remaining entertaining to a crowd of significantly varying Shakespearian knowledge, with great success.

As Glam Adelaide labeled in its recent review, it really is “37 plays for the price of one!” and this brother-sister duo agree. Director Adam Cook excelled in pulling together a seamless production.

The actors work to complement each others’ stage presence and, at times, appear to feed off the banter and frivolity of the characters and clever script, cowritten by Adam Long, Daniel Singer and Jess Winfield.

It is a lighthearted performance, easy to watch for even the most passionate Shakespeare haters. And yet, it is also mentally stimulating if you look beneath the surface comedy.

Just for the hilariously funny performances, this production is worth every dime.

We challenge you to leave the theatre without a smile...

[44]

books

God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything

by Christopher Hitchens

men because it is allowed within the religious texts. This is also true of the subjugation of women, as so-called ‘holy’ texts give men power over women.

Hitchens also mentions the inconsistency of many religious texts. He notes that when a new “revelation” is made, it usually benefits the person who is the subject of the revelation, even when contradictory to earlier text.

Another case that, for Hitchens, proves that religion is man-made is the contradiction between the rules and the followers. He gives us the example of the Ten Commandments, and how Moses’ followers committed murders in God’s name, yet these killings do not count as violating God’s laws. Hitchens believes that religion, and the idea of gods, are simply some of the tools and weapons of past leaders to make their people fear them, resulting in complete obedience. And like a dictator’s ruling, no one should question what’s written in holy texts, even if it may be proven wrong in the long run.

I

must admit, even after five years of living in Australia, I am still fascinated at the freedom one possess to speak and publish one’s thoughts – no matter how controversial they are. It is this curiosity that motivated me to picked up a book which I am certain I would never be able to buy in my home country, Got is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything. However, before I go any further, I believe I should include a disclaimer.

I have absolutely no intention to offend; I mean to encourage and stimulate debate of an academic, scholarly nature. I do not agree with everything the author wrote, but I will admit that his arguments are well researched, and some do make sense.

Most of Hitchens’ arguments are directed at the world’s major monotheistic religions – Christianity, Islam, and Judaism; but others, such as Buddhism, are also discussed. One of his main points is that religion is fabricated by humans, for mostly self-serving purposes.

Hitchens points out that many people in the past have used religion to justify acts that, without the “shield of religion,” would be criminal. He states that certain civilisations have justified the enslavement of their fellow

The idea that religion is fading, or ceasing to play a role in society, in light of humanity’s progression is also discussed. There are numerous social norms today that would be considered criminal by holy texts. Hitchens gives the example of a baby’s circumcision involving the sucking of his penis, a technique still used in various places. He asks why it is that a random person would be denounced as a paedophile if they performed this act, yet citing religion made the same act justifiable? Not to mention, there is no scientific evidence that circumcision is beneficial. On the contrary, there are actually reported deaths due to this operation. Hitchens, like many other atheists, acknowledges how ancient scholars, whose work often contradicted religion, were being forcibly prevented from undertaking their research, sometimes fatally. Even today, religion is one of the most used excuses to deny research that can advance humanity.

It is as I said before, I do not completely agree with Hitchens. Nonetheless, Got is Not Great contains many valid arguments. Personally, the lesson I took from him is this: nothing is absolute. If you want to improve, be prepared to admit your ignorance and mistakes. Do not cling desperately to what you have always known, blindly insisting that you are right.

Words by Charles Chiam Chuang Chao

[45]

Out of Time Words by Emma Thompson

T

ime is running out. I almost laughed as I repeated the line in my head. Mary would never take me seriously if I opened with that. Maybe it would be easier to start with a joke. I turned my keys over in my hands slowly. I have to go in, I can’t stand out here all night. Ignoring the lump in my throat, I unlocked the door and forced myself over the threshold. I was immediately hit by the scent of home cooked pizza, and a weak smile tugged at my lips. Mary was in a good mood, then. I opened my mouth to announce myself, but the words caught in my throat. What was I going to say to them? The Time Mines have run dry, the reserve should last us a few days, but after that…

I cut that line of thinking short. If I was going to tell them, I would find a way to sugar coat it first, as much as the news that they had less than a week to live could be sugar coated.

“Leo? Is that you?” Mary called in a singsong voice from the kitchen.

“Yeah, hon, I’ll be there in a minute.”

I tried to keep my tone light, but the waver in my voice gave me away. I heard the slap of bare feet on tiles coming down the hall. Crouching, I held my arms out as Sarah rounded the corner at top speed.

“Daddy!”

She jumped into my arms and I pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Did you have a nice day at school, sweetie?” I said as I released her.

She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me down the hall, chattering about her day as we went. She pulled out dozens of finger-painted drawings, carefully explaining each and every one. I should have been annoyed that they were using our exorbitant tuition fees to let the kids finger-paint, but today I was just glad she was happy.

“Daddy, guess what we learned about today?” she said, bouncing with energy. She didn’t give me enough time to guess, though, barrelling down the hall at a thousand miles per hour.

“We learned all about Time! Miss Adams said mining Time ore is one of the most important jobs you can have. She said that miners dig up time chunks and then we melt it and that’s how time is made.”

Not entirely correct, I mused to myself, but a rather good understanding for a seven year old. I ruffled her hair and she pouted while she smoothed it down.

“Do you know why mining Time is so important?’” I asked.

Her brow furrowed.

“Because...if we didn’t, time would stop?” she said, her tone laced with fear. I nodded slowly, preferring not to go into the details of what exactly it would be like for time to slow to a standstill, leaving the entire universe frozen. My decision was made, she didn‘t need to hear it.

“Daddy, we’re not going to stop digging up the time, are we?”

[46]

I pulled her into a hug and tried to steady my breathing as she buried her head in my shoulder.

“Of course not, sweetie.”

Mary poked her head around the door, glass of wine in hand.

“Are we okay in here?”

Sarah jumped back from me, suddenly smiling again.

“Yeah, Mummy, I was telling Daddy what I learned at school today.”

“Oh? Well, you can tell me all about it while we eat, dinner’s ready.”

I savoured the taste of the piping hot pizza in my mouth. Pizza was a small blessing at a time like this, but I’d take it where I could.

“Sarah isn’t the only one who had a good day.”

Mary said, an impish grin playing at her lips. With a flourish, she pulled a small slip of paper from her pocket, holding it close to my face.

“Management finally decided that I’d earned a pay rise!”

For a moment, I forgot everything and hugged her tightly. I went to take the slip of paper, but she snatched it away.

“Nope. No lecture on sensible spending, Mr Responsible. I think I’ve earned the right to spend this one however I like.”

Any other day of the last ten years, I would have told her that we needed to put that money away, save it for a rainy day. But the rain was about to start and it was going to be apocalyptic when it hit.

“You’re completely right. But I was thinking, we’ve both been working so hard recently, and not to mention Sarah, who has been working her butt off at school, hasn’t she?”

I looked down at my daughter with mock sternness before giving her an exaggerated wink.

“Maybe we should take a holiday. I think we all need a break.”

The sentiment rang false, even to me. I’d been against spending what little we had on a holiday for years now. Mary would know something was up.

“They might put me back where I was if I just disappear. Maybe we should wait.”

I was torn. It was kinder not to tell them, wasn’t it? Or would they fight me every step of the way, making their last days as miserable as they would have been at home?

“Mary, they’re not going to fire you if you take a few days off.”

She paused, then grinned like Christmas had come early.

“Come on, then. Let’s book some plane tickets.”

Mary took Sarah by the hand and led her off to the kitchen, leaving me alone in the hall. In the silence, I noticed the ticking of the battered clock on the wall. My eyes wandered over to its scratched face, watching the moving hands.

I tapped the glass; the second hand was running a little slower than it should have. Mary was already halfway up the stairs before she noticed that I hadn’t followed.

“Hurry up! We don’t have all week, you know.”

[47]

Poetry Cancerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Captive Nala Berbury

The moster lies beneath Cunningly biding its time In a prison of brittle bones Its poison runs thicker than blood Waiting, watching It hides benath the surface Behind her eyes, within her smile

Child of War Harry Inniss

They stream from the dark sky, blazes of light that glitter before my eyes They kiss the ground with dancing flames And are met by screaming song They roll like the waves, Crashing against the shore When the sound stops I open my eyes And the world has gone black

Mother Earth Lily Brasini

Maybe sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s getting old, her body deteriorating like that of a person Maybe the floods are her tears and the shakes merely symptoms of fever Maybe the heat is her temper flaring sporadically and unpredictably And the hole in the ozone is her eyesight thinning and dimming over the years Or maybe her children are eating her alive Making demands Pushing too hard Talking too much and acting too little Killing her gradually, piece by piece

[48]

WIN!

Complete the crossword and send a picture of your answers to stephanie.walker@flinders.edu. au to win one of 10 free double passes to Palace Nova.

ACROSS

DOWN

2 One of the richest directors of all time thanks to his ingenious merchandising rights.

7 Pioneer of the ‘method’ achool of acting, he was very influential from the 50s to the 70s.

8 A film about a mentally unbalanced man trying to get his wife back.

10 The most nominated actress in the Academy Awards’ history.

11 Creator of many a rommantic comedy, including Sleepless in Seattle.

13 Considered by many to be the most influential director of the 90s.

15 A director’s third film, and considered to be his most mature. Adapted from a novel.

19 A woman who is famous for directing action-packed films.

24 This film depicts different forms of addiction.

25 A film about the mission to kill Osama Bin Laden.

26 Robert De Niro stars as a comedian who kidnaps a famous talk show host for publicity.

27 Considered a ‘wunderkind’ of American cinema, he directed Boogie Nights and Magnolia.

28 An upcoming film about a group of teenagers breaking into celebrity houses.

1 An Australian actress who has played Queen Elizabeth.

3 A romantic dramedy science fiction film.

4 A film about a screenwriter trying to adapt a book about flower catching, hilariously writing himself into the film.

5 Before Hollywood he got his break on Home and Away.

6 Created many of the most famous blockbusters of the 20th century.

9 Canadian director of American Psycho.

10 A former rapper who got his break in the film Boogie Nights.

12 A famous director responsible for Somewhere, with a famous director father.

14 A prolific actor who danced in one of Fatboy Slim’s music videos.

15 A second youngest winner of an Academy Award for best actress.

16 A prolific film maker with a New York sense of humour.

17 An Italian-American director who directed The Departed.

18 He once played a man who wants to erase the memories of his past relationships from his head.

20 An actor who also fronts the rock band 30 Seconds to Mars.

21 A young actor who tragically died outside the Viper Room on Sunset Strip.

22 Not a fan of interviews and a constant collaborator with Martin Scorcese.

23 A surrealist film-maker.

GAMES! Easy

Puzzle 1 (Easy, difficulty rating 0.38)

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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Sun Aug 4 03:12:24 2013 GMT. Enjoy!

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Sun Aug 4 03:12:40 2013 GMT. Enjoy!

Puzzle 1 (Hard, difficulty rating 0.63)

Puzzle 1 (Very hard, difficulty rating 0.78)

Hard

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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Sun Aug 4 03:12:48 2013 GMT. Enjoy!

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[50]

Medium

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.48)

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Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Sun Aug 4 03:12:58 2013 GMT. Enjoy!