Empire Times 41.10 by FUSA Association

EMPIRE TIMES STUDENT MAG. ISSUE 10. VOL 41.

1 IT'S FREE!

RHINO ROOM 13 frome st

9pm-3am

1st and 3rd Sunday of every month

IRXUZRUGV Sat Nov 29th

+ Dec 20th

HIP HOP, Indie, trash....

9pm-3am

$4 Coopers + $5 Vodka

9pm-11pm

in the basement bar

Nov 1st Halloween Party Nov 22nd End of UNI Party

NIGHTCALL

see gig guide for more details

rhinoroom.com.au

,Q WKH 5KLQR %DVHPHQW %DU spring breakers meets the bling ring, like amanda bynes, miley cyrus and lindsay lohan partying together!

18th Oct, 15th Nov + 13th Dec

EDITORIAL

Hey guys!

Heellllooooooo sunshines,

To ET readers and contributors,

Don’t be alarmed by my latest snap- I haven’t been infected with leprosy! I was actually taking part in my fifth year at the Adelaide Zombie Walk, where I had a heck of a time walking with the fellow zombies of Adelaide with some great costumes and amazing theatrics. My group and I always like to go with a theme, so for this year we decided on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (myself as Mr Wonka, pictured.)

The last issue for 2014, tear! We have all done a fantabulous job, signing, dancing, submitting articles, signing some more and by the end, all earned a well deserved break! Take a pat on the back you wonderful chappys. Look at what you’ve accomplished this year, for the magazine, your studies, youself and life!

Change is happening everywhere. 2014 has seen changes in the political arena, the environment, the media, feminism, technology, and much more. By the following academic year we will have seen a change in student council and a dramatic transformation to the campus. The new Student Hub and Plaza redevelopments will dramatically impact student and staff’s routine, orientation, location, study and work. We will need to be flexible, patient and optimistic during this coming year. I will be fortunate enough to follow up on these developments as editor next year.

Writing this editorial fills me with a little pang of sadness- this is my last issue as editor for Empire Times. However, I’m really proud of the work our little trio has achieved this year and I am happy to be handing on the editorial baton to our good friend Jen, who I know is going to make a wicked ed. This won’t be the last of me, either. You may see my name around, particularly in fiction! You can’t get rid of me that easy! My only regret this year was definitely letting Jess sit behind me as I filled out my email address for Facebook (that I made when I was 12), which she has not memorised and will gleefully tell to anyone who listens. Other than that, I’ve had a hell of a time and I thank everyone who supported and helped me through the initial frightening as hell introduction into the life of being an editor (you all know who you are!)

WOOO HOOOOOO! Now time to get emotional! Bethany, my coca cola addict buddy you! Our conversations about our addiction will always be in my heart! Jess, Jess, Jess. Myself and the world couldn’t survive without you! You’ve been a co-editor, a friend, a shoulder to lean on but most of all, you’ve been my strongest support and encouragement within the magazine and life. Can’t thank you enough! Steph, Steph. One creative life support in whom I’m jealous of all her talent. You have taught me a lot this year, stalk forever! And finally the contributors, to you! This magazine would not exist without all you and your hard work throuhgout the year. You continually submitt ahhhhhmazing pieces of work showcasing your personalities, interests and abilities. Although this year is at a close, please continue to submit next year! ET is a medium for you, make the most of it before Fred the duck takes over the world!

It’s been a heck of year, 2014, but time is short and we have bigger things to do. It’s time to blow this popsicle stand and make way for 2015!

I hug you all.

See you round, kiddos! Bethany

Jade :3

Have a fantabulous break and see you all next year!

I won’t make this an Emmy Awards speech but there are certain thanks in order. First, thanks to Bethany for being a kick-ass co-editor. Her diligence and sense of humour have made for a great partner in crime. Of course my other amigo, Jade, who has been with me since Issue 2. She has always been so supportive and so optimistic, both on a personal and work basis. Thanks to Steph, our media officer, for being patient, helpful and the funniest person I know. A lot of things wouldn’t get done without her. Finally, thank you to the contributors. You wouldn’t believe how many compliments we receive on behalf of your writing and artwork. Empire Times represents the student body and its voice. It wouldn’t exist without you and we wouldn’t want it to. We all appreciate the times you delayed study, went without seeing your friends, stayed up late, and dedicated your free time to making this magazine. Catch you next year, Jess

OH HELLO there. EDITORS: Jade Kelly, Bethany Lawrence & Jess Nicole.

empire.times@flinders.edu.au fb.com/empiretimesmag

Empire Times would like to acknowledge the Kaurna people who are the traditional custodians of the land Flinders University is situated on. We would also like to pay our respects to the elders past and present of the Kaurna nation and extend that respect to other Aboriginal peoples.

EMPIRE TIMES magazine is a publication of Flinders University Student Association. For advertising information: stephanie.walker@ flinders.edu.au

THANK YOU to Michael Adams, Charles Chiam Chuang Chao, Emma Sachsse, Grace Hill, Jesse Barker Gale, Eleanor Danenberg, Teigue Porter, Tim Walter, Jack McEntee, Craig Blane, Callum Mclean, J.R Koop, Anita Sanders, the sub-editors J.J Nestor (Features & Poetry/Prose), Shaun Hobby (Film & Crossword), the columnists Laura Telford (Politics), Kaisha Wyld (Feminism), Robbie Peschel (Food), Rohan Neagle (Science), the illustratorS Rafal Banasiak (back cover), Melanie Pal (inner back cover) and the cover artist Madeleine Karutz for their brilliant work on the final issue of Empire Times 2014. The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors or FUSA. All work within remains the property of the producers and may not be reproduced without their consent. Correction: In issue 8 the article Young and Well Towns (written by Kaisha Wyld) states that: ‘The Young and Well Towns project is supported by the Young and Well Cooperative Research Centre, Flinders University, Country Health SA, beyondblue and Movember.’ This should be understood as ‘The Young and Well Towns project is funded by the Young and Well Cooperative Research Centre, Flinders University, and Country Health SA, and is supported by beyondblue and Movember. The author apologises for any misunderstandings.

Index

Page

Contributor Spotlight

Empire Times 2014 Awards

Politics

HeForShe, what about AllForAll?

Popping My Travel Cherry

Religion On Campus

Dear You

Being Mistress M

Comic

VOX POP

Student Hub

Rhyme Without Rhythm

Science

Fiction

Film

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On In Adelaide

ET Team 2015

CO N TRI B U TO R SPOTLIGHT

Chiam Chuang Ch s e l r a ao Ch

Tell us about yourself! I’m a 24 year old Theological Studies student doing a Grad Cert. I came from Malaysia, and fell in love with Adelaide since 2nd year. I have a BA in English and Creative Writing, and an Honours in Creative Writing. I like Doctor Who, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, Harry Potter, Frozen. ‘Let It Go’ has been stuck in my head for months, and I love it! Also, I consider myself a massive happyending lover, which is why I never got into Games of Thrones despite fantasy being my favourite genre. You’ve been a consistent contributor throughout these last two years - what do you like to write about? I like to write about anything that interests me and things that others might not know about. The topics vary from issue to issue – I have reviewed books, submitted poetry, sent in photographs, discussed movies and TV shows. I once wrote about my favourite show, only to reveal that it’s a kid show at the conclusion, while talking about many of its traits that are not normally found in stereotypical children cartoons. I have also covered events such as AVCON. Generally, topics on fiction and the supernatural. Though I pay attention to real life issues, most of the time I’m too negative about it to be able to write properly. What does Empire Times mean to for you? An awesome community that allows my creativity, imagination, and writing to find a home on campus. Which villain would you be and why? Q from Star Trek The Next Generation – immortality and omnipotence! Loki, as portrayed by Tom Hiddleston – he’s the best looking villain I’ve seen! GLaDOS – she has a sexy voice, even though she’s a machine.

Most people don’t know… I created an OC (original character) that is a representation of myself, only that this character can do things I can’t, and has traits I want but don’t have. I also created a female character for him – think the tale of Pygmalion and Galatea. I started designing him when many other fans of My Little Pony started creating a pony avatar, or Ponysona, of themselves. What are your plans for 2015? Find a job, hopefully in the publishing and editing industry, preferably in Adelaide, and hopefully obtain Permanent Residency. I would consider photography and other arts-related job too, though I won’t mind certain desk jobs. Alternatively, a volunteer job somewhere that lets me help people while providing me with the basic needs of food and shelter. I really really really love Adelaide! Who/what has been your biggest support throughout this year? Oasis and Empire Times. They have been the biggest on-campus source of sanity, refuge and happiness for me. Best moment/experience at Flinders? So far - when my I met my first friend in Australia, and the revival of Empire Times. Then there’s Flinders Living, a great home that I like more than my hometown.

Letters to the Editors: Hey Eds, Why is it that some of our potential student council reps are acting so abhorrent on campus? Aren’t these the people that want to represent us to the world next year? How embarrassing for Flinders if our SC reps are incapable of acting like adults in an adult environment while they ask us to vote them into positions that place large SSAF budgets in their hands. What’s a poor student to do? - Jennifer

~ Hi ET editors, Congratulations on Issue 8, I’m reading it in the library now and it’s an excellent issue, so colourful, and I especially liked the Robin Williams piece :) Thank you, ladies :) - Eleanor

~ Hellos ET Editors of the Universe, A HUGE congratulations on all your efforts this year! You have produced an awesome mag full of student voice, thank you! However, can you solve the problem of paying of my future HESC Debt for me? Cheers, Forever in Debt!

empire times 2014 AWARDS

the DA VINCi Stable, stubborn and supportive, Shaun has made making a student magazine achievable. His amazing writing skills and infuriatingly wise words will always be appreciated.

Rafal Banaisak. Raising the bar for Creative Arts students everywhere.

GIRL GANG Special mentions go to Kaisha Wyld, Eleanor Danenberg, Emma Sachsse and Stef Rozitis for their commentary on gender, feminism and sex.

KNIGHTS OF ET

FRIENDS

Thanks to all those who brought us coffee or stopped what they were doing to make us laugh and encourage us through sunshine and shitstorms. Special mentions: Paul, Steph, Chris, Shaun, Charles, J.J, Marat, Adam, Jen, Sarah and Preesan.

FUCK YEAHS: • •

movers &

groovers

behind the scenes

Bold, honorable or reliable with their submissions. Our Knights: Laura Telford, Tim Walter, Michael Adams and Rohan Neagle.

Those who got out there, experienced something, and wrote about it: Charles Chiam Chuang Chao, Jo Schofield, Robbie Peschel, Lauris Buckley, RubyRose Neimann.

• • •

FUCK nos: • • • •

Hugs to Lauren Gobbett from the library, you’ve helped keep us connected to the roots of Flinders and supported us wholeheartedly. Thank you so much to Mike and Rob from Flinders One for supplying us with much needed booze, food—but most importantly—for being lovely people.

Editors final note:

Emerging Writers’ Festival A cold beer at the Coopers Bar after a long day A solid community of creative and supportive contributors and readers Learning Bethany’s real highschool email address ACUMA Best Publication Award

the

Without artists Madeleine Karutz, Rosemary Ellison, Hannah Everett, Nathan Erdely and Melanie Pal we would have been left to our own devices.

Sending the wrong proof back The error “Jimungi” 3 people rocking up to the ET gathering The centipede graveyard in the office

Jess: “You can sort your life out anytime, the pub closes in five hours” — Bernard Black, Black Books I’ll see you there.

Jade: “Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” — Buddha Bethany: “Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” — Lewis Carroll

Prez Dispenser

It’s been a hell of a year! Battling the Liberal Government’s attempts to gut our education system, trying to secure the best possible outcome for students in the new Hub, fighting the efforts of Labor party students to conservatizise our National Union, standing up to the university administration… ‘busy’ doesn’t even begin to describe 2014! I’m happy to have had the opportunity to be President. I’d like to thank all the students who voted last year, and all the students I’ve been able to assist this year. So much has happened this year, but there are some moments which stick out as highlights. Firstly, leading a charge of 300+ students from the main campus, across South Road and to the Mark Oliphant building to confront Slime Minister Abbott. We were victorious - Abbott crawled away, back under the rock he came from, and we marched back up to the main campus. Of course, some of the worst measures of Abbott’s hated budget are at time of writing, still to be decided upon, and may be passed. Students must remain active and vigilant, we won that battle with Abbott on campus, but we have to keep going if we’re to win the war on the budget. This year has been marred by racism, which has been a theme nationally. This has had an impact on a campus

level. Another highlight of this year has been students pushing back against that trend. Participating in antiracism campaigns, rallying for refugees, and standing in a minority on Student Council to support the people of Gaza, are some of the activities I’m proud of, and issues I’m sure Flinders students will keep fighting around next year. I’ll finish up by noting what (at time of writing) is happening in Hong Kong. Thousands of students have come out to protest for their rights, against their government. Students in Australia have been protesting quite a lot this year, and we should offer our support and solidarity with the students and youth in Hong Kong who are doing the same. Students don’t win rights by being polite; we don’t win by turning our union into a business with KPI’s. We win rights by fighting, and we win rights by militancy. We should take lessons from students around the world, from Hong Kong, to Chile, to the students in Germany who have recently won FREE university education. It’s possible, we can do it. Thanks for this year, Grace.

Politics

What the Scott?!

So, hey guys, something pretty epic is going on right now. The people, at least from where I am sitting, are losing their minds over it. I’m in England - the land of tea and scones, the Queen and a total love fest over a lady called Catherine, her baby George and for a moment there the UK look set to say goodbye to Scotland all in the name of independence. Now this may not seem like a huge and epic deal to those of us who live ‘down under’, but let me tell you the world almost stood still as the Scotts voted from 8am until 10pm! And in the wee hours of the morning it was declared that the Scottish people wanted to remain and continue to get the perks afforded to them, by Britain. Now I know you are thinking: what does this have to do with me? Why do I care if some country on the other side of the world wants to break away from the Commonwealth? Let me tell you why. If the Scotts became independent, half our pollies would have come out in favour of Australia becoming a republic while the other half would have been flying to England to show the Queen how much we love her. It would have been splashed all over the news and endlessly debated on a scale of sublime proportions! The republican issue in Australia has been quietly debated for a long while but was most popular during the early 1990’s. This forced PM at the time John Howard, much to his disgust, to hold a referendum. It was due to his total devotion to the Queen, the voting public decided that leaving the Queen was WAY too hard; if it ‘aint broke don’t fix it. The outcome in the end was similar to what happened in Australia when we tried for the same thing in 1999 and failed. The Australian Republican Movement (whose biggest supporter BTW was Malcolm Turnbull, one of Tony Abbotts BFFs) convinced our pollies and the voting public that the issue was important enough that we needed to have a referendum on the subject. This then would determine once and for all, whether or not Australia would become fully grown up

“If the Scotts became independent, half our pollies would have come out in favour of Australia becoming a republic while the other half would have been flying to England to show the Queen how much we love her.”

thing entirely to commit and follow it through. The nationalistic view that every country should be their own, and that no matter what a sense of national identity is important, is at the core of why countries strive to call themselves independent. One only needs to look at Australia to see that increasingly the Queen and the Royal Family are becoming more and more redundant in the political and social sphere, and while it is lovely to have a visit from a member of the Royal Family at sporadic intervals, it is in no way a necessity. The Australian constitution was even changed to remove being able to appeal to the Privy Council in 1986, forcing Australia to decide in house, its legal affairs. The situation in Scotland obviously has its differences, one being that it shares a land border with England, but also the financial and monetary ties mean that the separation would be more severe than discontinuing dual citizenship for residents living outside England. The individuals who said that Scotland should become independent ran their campaign on the grounds that the people would be able to support themselves financially if independence became a reality, something the “No” camp strongly detested. Comparing the possibly separation between Scotland and Australia in most respects in untenable on the grounds that land mass proximity to the motherland, but the idea that a country will only be “grown up” when it reaches independence is an ideal that long surpasses 1999. As far back as 1776, the United States declared independence and decided to forge their own way in the world and today remains one of the global superpowers influencing and controlling world affairs. That is not to say that if Australia or Scotland declared and gained independence they would turn into a world superpower, dominating global talks on the international stage, but on a nationalistic level the peoples of that country would be able to aspire to the highest form of government (if however unlikely for most people!). Whether or not independence or republicanism will ever evolve into something other than a figment of a sectors imagination remains to be seen, but one thing is for certain, the more polarised and the more controversial our political representatives get the less likely a successful push for independence will be. While the Queen/Head of State, is having less and less of an influence in Australia, the fact that if something was to happen they would step in, is a comfort to many people and one that cannot be changed in a mere matter of weeks or months.

Words by Laura Telford

and leave the Commonwealth or not. Apparently that was one step to far for us and the security blanket tethering us to the UK was too strong as in the end overwhelmingly the answer was a big fat no. While obviously Scotland withdrawing from the Commonwealth would have been a significantly bigger deal than Australia leaving, both times the night before, the outcome look pretty set. One reason for this is because it is inherently harder to cause change solely through referendum alone. In Australia, of the 44 proposed referendums since federation, only 8 have been successful, 3 of which have significantly altered the power breakdown. Through all of the Scotland Decides televised coverage, commentators continually referred to this referendum as ground breaking with no way to judge the outcome, but to an Australian the writing was on the wall. Malcom Turnbull once said that a referendum could only be successful if there was unwavering support behind the cause and in both instances there was a considerable opposition. It is one thing to support the plight for independence but it is another

mistress m

Psycho Exes, I wish I had the answers. Many of us at some point will have to deal with a psycho ex. The worst part is when it isn’t just vitriolic bullshit but an actual real live symptom of a mental illness. You know that they are depressed; you may suspect they have borderline personality disorder and hell there may be a touch of narcissism thrown in. It may be the reason you broke up with them. What can you do? It isn’t like you can say R U OK? You know they aren’t and you know they are focussing their negative thought spirals on you. If you respond you will just trigger more problems, but if you don’t respond they work themselves up into more of a frenzy. Because you are not a callous evil individual you want to help them, you know a few good books, a great therapist or understand they need to get into rehab but you are the last person that they want to get help from. Sorry, make that ‘your new boyfriend/girlfriend they have been obsessively jealous about’ is the very last person. I was first stalked by an ex when I was 19. I had moved back in with my parents and he sat outside our house all night. He would also ride his bike past places I hung out at. This was after I left him for hitting me. I didn’t get back together with him. The second time I was stalked was by my ex husband but he was lazy and rich and paid private investigators to do it. Just so you know, it is no less creepy being followed by strangers videoing you. I didn’t get back together with him. The third time I was stalked was by my ex Darren, for eight months. I had a restraint order against him but unless he actually hurt me or actually got caught outside my bedroom window where he liked to hang out, there was very little I could do. I wanted to help him, I felt sorry for him but I also hated what he was doing to me and nothing I did made things better. Responding to him and trying to be nice didn’t work and screaming at him to leave me alone didn’t work and nor

did having him arrested. I didn’t get back together with him. The fourth never actually “stalked” me, he just never stopped texting or ringing or asking me back. I did get back with him once. That was a really stupid thing to do. The next time we broke up it was for good. It only took four more years of no response from me for him to finally stop ringing or sending texts weekly, then monthly then… well it has been a year since the last one so fingers crossed that was the last. It is frustrating, scary and annoying and those around you have great advice about what you should do; you should talk to them, you should ignore them, you should send the flying monkeys after them. However nothing but complete radio silence and time seems to be the answer. Well I haven’t tried the flying monkeys. By the way, people never believe that you are not in some way encouraging the stalking behaviour. This is because they are not insane and obsessing over someone and feeling that if they could just get that person back the demons in their heads will go away. It is really hard to understand why someone would keep begging you back after 4 years of separation with no encouragement on your part, you can’t have been that good in bed, can you? We can’t understand because it is not rational, and to be honest you shouldn’t be that flattered by it because at this point it is no longer about you. It is a dark, weird imaginary thing in their head that has nothing to do with the reality of you and if only they would stop and get some help from their family, their GP, some drugs and a psychologist then maybe they could have a better, happier life. It is a pity that you can’t tell them that. Well, you can, but that won’t help. Get a friend of theirs or a family member to help them. You can’t. Love yourself, touch yourself and be good to each other. Mistress M askmistressm.com

HeForShe, Whatabout AllForAll? On September 20th, 2014 Emma Watson spoke at the United Nations General Assembly in New York to launch the HeForShe campaign. Her speech was quickly shared all over the Western world, and soon was called a ‘game changer’ by tabloids and online commentators. The HeForShe campaign is a solidarity movement for gender equality, which brings together one half of humanity in support for the other half of humanity for the benefit of all- according to their website, which is a confusing mess of images and empty quotes with no substantial information which could help anyone looking to break free of gender inequality. I have spoken before about why feminism is still relevant, and I admit that it irks me that after decades of trying to get everyone involved in the gender equality movement, it took a rich white girl with a large heart and a camera crew to get the message out and being spoken about in society. Yet I definitely support this speech, at its face value anyway. It seems that gender equality has been over simplified and important aspects, which really shouldn’t be ignored, have been included in this speech. At face value, the first time you hear or read it, it sings to you. It works. It’s inspiring. But as soon as you begin to think about what has and hasn’t been said, you’re left trying to figure out when any misunderstandings will be corrected. Providing examples of gender inequality won’t change anything, no matter how loud you are or how good the makeup crew is, simply talking will get very little done. Although Ms Watson spoke directly to men and presented passionate examples throughout the speech, she didn’t actually change any behaviours. All she did was talk. I know that it’d be absolutely fantastic if this speech did plant the seed of gender equality in the minds of thousands, and that seed grew into an empire of gender equalitists who acted as well as thought, but just from this one speech I doubt that’ll happen. Too bad no one was listening every other time someone spoke about systematic gender inequality - we might have made more headway by now.

Even in its title, this campaign isn’t about gender equality, it’s about male-female equality. This has negated the experiences, lives, even existence of millions of non-binary gendered individuals. There aren’t just males and females in the world, there are people. Gender equality is supposed to be for everyone, and by ignoring those who don’t fit the presumed gender binary this has become a standpoint for the two dominant genders over everyone else. Ms Watson also extends a ‘formal invitation’ to men to be a part of gender equality. This is absolute bullshit. Men, women, everyone have always been free and open to join gender equality. They don’t need an invitation, they need supported action. Throughout the speech it is made to seem as though the best reason to join the gender equality movement is because it’ll benefit men. Although I agree that men are subject to damaging stereotypes and inequalities that stem from the oppression of women, asking men to be a part of gender equality to benefit men is perhaps not the best perspective to take. I applaud Emma Watson for being the chosen face of this attempt at gender equality. I admire her courage in facing the idiots online that thought it was fitting to threaten to release nude pictures because she dared to speak about gender inequality. I also congratulate her on being a white, cis-het, able, rich, and physically attractive woman speaking to men on behalf of women the world over in a push for equality. But I don’t think this speech really did anything except get people talking, and talking generally just leads to more talking.

For more info: http://www.heforshe.org/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkjW9PZBRfk (speech)

Words and opinions by Kaisha Wyld

feature

Popping my Travel Cherry Words and Photography By Shaun Hobby

Yeah, I bailed out of Bali early. I am both happy and extremely saddened by the fact that I saw everything I needed to see within the first 24 hours of my visit. The sections that I did see, mainly Kuta, and Seminyak are filled with both heart warming and heart breaking sights. The time I spent there was enough. This first trip out of the country was both short and long enough to give me what I need for later. It was enough to work out that there is very likely no hidden layer. There is no “real Bali” in that part of the island. If that is the real Bali, then Bali both terrifies and saddens me. It’s chaos. Pure and simple, it is just insanity. Scooters, by the hundred, whizz by you with the utmost care and seemingly no care in the world. The “shopping” districts are littered with warungs filled to the brim with the same counterfeit goods as those a few shops down. The same NBA and Premier league Jerseys litter the walls of hundreds of stores. They’re all fake as the day is long, but nobody seems to notice or care. Watching this endless, running battle scene is a struggle. Coming at it from the standpoint of an economically able westerner who doesn’t even go into shops where the same merchandise costs twice as much because he doesn’t need anything, I feel like a fraud. It felt like I was admitted to an event that I didn’t plan to participate in. I felt like, by not playing into the practiced and predatory sales tactics employed by the locals, I was somehow breaching a contract between a whole island and me. An offer of a scooter taxi ride quickly turned into an offer of a massage with happy ending. The t-shirt guy quickly morphed into the psilocybin mushroom guy, then into the Viagra guy. The tattoo studio guy magically

also owned a counterfeit surf wear shop just across the road. Then some other guy has his hands on me, pushing me back into the store when I suddenly decide against purchasing their wares. This morning, I succumbed, and went for a walk along the beachfront. Don’t get me wrong, the beaches of Kuta are amazing and any people should feel blessed with an incredibly bountiful resource such as those pristine sands and steady, vibrant waves. It was the people I couldn’t get over. It was the endless parade of ice-buckets filled with locals brews, the parade of young men hustling for business along that strip of sand that separates clear blue water from the dirt of the streets beyond. I should not have done it, the walk along the beach. Not because I did not enjoy it, because it was wonderful exercise and a great opportunity to experience one of the world’s most treasured strips of sand. It was us, both the national and the collective us, that put me off Bali. I may never have worked this out, were it not for the walk along the beach. What I saw was not a group of conscious, deliberate customers availing themselves of a service that they understood the finer detail of. Rather, I saw a horde of wealthy western tourists being grifted by talented young men whose job it is to make tourists feel at home on the beach. The problem is that where I should have interpreted the scene as innocent and relaxing, my overly active imagination instead saw the tiniest hint of menace. The few times that I elected to dig deeper into the nature of the wares being hocked by the seaside and roadside vendors, almost always did it lead to something seedier than advertised.

On my second morning in the country, I quickly worked out that I was the only person staying at my hotel. In fact, I think I may have been the only person staying on a street with four hotels. All around the hotel, rather than surf shops and bars were houses. It turned out that I had ended up staying in a deeply residential section of the city, just metres from the airport. I was so close to the airport that I never even found the main entrance. I was entering and leaving by a service walkway hundreds of metres away. As I was walking across the roadway that services the terminal the people who weren’t narrowly avoiding squashing me were looking at me like I was crazy for even being there on foot. Personally, I think they might have been right. I think that I made a few missteps of misunderstood architecture as I tried to find my hotel. I ended up prowling about the back yard of a scooter mechanic’s shop for a few minutes, trying to work out if all of the little doors that ran off of the courtyard led to hotel rooms. In the light of the following morning, I discovered that I’d just been rambling around people’s front yards, stepping on their ceremonial offerings and just generally making a panicky spectacle of myself. I’ll go back, but I won’t go back alone and I’ll head straight north to the less commercially oriented parts of the island. The resort scene holds no interest or mystery. The shopping makes me sad just to think about. The whole scene makes me feel like there has to be something more. There has to be more for the people of Bali to aspire to than being well-meaning roadside hustlers s

Religion on Campus A BuddHisT’s TAle Venerable Thích Trúc Thông Pháp aka Thầy was previously the Buddhist chaplain at Flinders (2006 - 2010) and is a Harry Potter tragic.

1. How do you define religion? There is good religion and bad religion. Good religion leads us in the direction of open-heartedness towards others including those who are different from us. Good religion includes universal values such as active compassion, love, kindness and so on. It results in generosity, awareness, joy and fearlessness enabling us to see that all things are interdependent thereby enabling generosity and love to arise. Bad religion leads us in the direction of closedness towards others especially those who are different from us, and it uses acts of kindness and generosity to draw us into adherence to that religion’s views, thereby creating divisions in societies where there were no divisions before.

2. What does Buddha say about religion? In my view the Buddha says that religion needs to lead us away from greed, hatred and ignorance and out of suffering. His view also was that we should respect the religious paths of others. If we do not respect the wholesome paths of others, we cannot really respect our own path. 3. What do you think of religious pluralism? Religious pluralism has always existed. Religion is a human activity like all other human activities. Religions grow up in varying circumstances and so they will take different forms, but they are always the ways people have of dealing with the great questions of life. So, religious pluralism is no big deal. A healthy garden is

made up of many different types of plants and animal organisms living together within a matrix of soil, air and water. Monoculture is unhealthy. So a healthy society is one that can live with multifarious differences and in which people can enjoy. 4. is there a definite right and wrong between/within all these religions? The question of right and wrong is interesting. Is there one religion which is superior to all the others in my opinion? The answer for me is “Yes, Buddhism is the best” because it answers my questions, it makes clear sense to me. Buddhism challenges me to acquire deeper understanding and reasoning. But that may not be the case for others, because they are not going to be asking the same questions I am. The Buddha teaches that there are 84,000 doorways that lead to the truth. That means that there are enough ways to the truth as there are people. We are all so different so that no one way suits everybody. 6. do you think there’s a place for religion and/or spirituality on campus? When people come to this university, they bring their whole selves, everything that they are as human beings. That includes their physical appearance, their appetites and interests and their deeper yearnings or their yearnings for a deeper life. That yearning will express itself in many different ways: artistically, philosophically, politically, religiously and so on. So, religion and spirituality will be here because human beings are here. If handled properly by the university, it could provide a great opportunity for students to engage in thinking about the great issues of the day including the ideological hegemony which, I suspect, much of the Christian west would like to hold on to. 7. How does one differentiate between telling another about one’s belief, and trying to convert another? It all lies in the intention. Am I talking about my faith because I have been asked to or am I talking about my faith because I want to convince someone else to talk about things the way I do?” You’ll know when it happens. 8. “Religion doesn’t hate other people. People hate other people.” Yay, or nay? Of course its people hating other people but they may use religious premises to dress their hatred up. There is no such thing as religion apart from people. All phenomena are a result of causes and conditions. Hateful religion is only possible because of hateful people. Hateful people are only possible because of conditions that give rise to that hatred, one of which might be a hateful religious ideology. Change the conditions and the hate will disappear and that is the good part of impermanence: not even hateful people and their religions are permanent.

Words by Charles Chiam Chuang Chao

15 15

Religion on Campus inTeRVieW WiTH An ATHeisT shaun is a 30 something atheist coffee addict who enjoys creative writing and cycling round the streets of Adelaide on his fixed gear bicycle. 1. How do you define religion? I define religion as a community of practice that offers a set of teaching, an organisation or a collective that shares a worldview that centres around a deity – “We are gathered here because we believe someone who knew someone who has a message from a god, and we believe it and want to talk about it.” 2. What does atheism say about religion? is atheism a religion? From a dictionary standpoint, it’s a lack of a belief in a lack of gods or a god; atheism is different for everyone, just like different Christians have a different view of God. I agree that religions sometimes give people a sense of hope and community, but I do think there’s a better way, as religions risk setting up an “Us vs Them” mentality. So no, it is not. 3. Where do atheists get a sense of hope then? From watching all these wonderful fleshy creatures trying to improve themselves and the world, seeing them trying to contribute to this grand experiment we call civilisation. Every time somebody doesn’t do something terrible to someone else, because they

understand it’s not morally or ethical to do so, as opposed to fear of punishment or abandonment, or punishment via abandonment.

forward thinking, curiosity. There seems to be an anti-questioning bias against doctrine within major religions, and it appears to be antithetical to the ideals of education.

4. What do you think of religious pluralism? Does it not exclude others when you mentally commit to one religion? The basic structures are opposed to each other to a degree, that it makes pluralism something that requires effort. It will be a good thing if it works. As a university community, we ought to have adequate space to accommodate a range of thoughts and opinions.

7. What are your opinions on having religious figures on campus? I think there are more denomination of Christians than there are students at this university. The university is a publicfunded entity. We have in our constitution a separation of church and state, we embrace pluralism, and a long history of religion being a private matter. They are sincerely welcome, but not absolutely necessary to the point that the university has to fund them. We have great chaplains here who doesn’t push their ideas upon others, but unfortunately the same cannot be said to many others schools, who are dominated and in the stronghold of certain dominations who focus more on getting converts.

5. What do you think of preaching/ proselytising in academic/education institution? I support everyone’s right to free speech, even when I don’t agree with what’s being said. However, I don’t believe in not challenging speech. If something is demonstrably unhelpful, those with alternative opinions have as much right as the one who originate the first opinion. Satire is a perfect form of response, and I have no problems with outright mockery of demonstrably stupid ideas. 6. some students express negative opinions regarding religious groups on campus. What do you think this reflects? Largely, it reflects a desire for an education institution to encourage an expansive,

8. How does one differentiate between telling another about one’s belief, and trying to convert another? Simple – “I believe this because……” VS “You should believe this because……”

Words by Charles Chiam Chuang Chao

dear you, A thousand times I’ve written this letter in my head. A thousand times the letter has never been finished. A thousand times I’ve scrunched up the paper and threw it away. A thousand times you’ve never see it.... until now. I don’t know who I was before you walked into my life, but since we parted ways I know I’m not any better off without you in it. There are times when I carry on my wayward son and the daises are growing again, but before I know it the daises are replaced with all the memories of what it could have been - of what should have been.

Artwork by Kelly Erwin, 2004

I am told I’m not allowed to miss you. I am told I’m not allowed to want to see you. I am told I’m not allowed to talk to you. I am told I never have or never will deserve you. I tell myself distraction is the key. Don’t think, don’t feel, and learn to conceal. I tell myself… I ____________ you.

words by anonymous

I remember the endless words communicated between us that constructed all the hopes, dreams and desires that I could never share with anyone else. I remember the endless conversations about the simplest things in life which held so much passion, pain and love, that I’m not sure these emotions exist without you. I remember that time and suffering didn’t exist when in each other’s company. Being in your presence my salvation was, still is. But these memories exist in a world, time and space too far away to reach until I re-visit you through your words, your favourite music and your physical presence. I feel I could grasp on tight and never, ever let go ... but I do ... you do ... we do. I can’t escape you. I see the sun rise every morning, a beauty you once told me that humanity doesn’t appreciate. But I appreciate it, though it is a moment I’ll never get to experience with you. I can’t forget you. I read all the words and immediately I want share it with you, analyse it with you, make it mean something with you - but no.

Why I won’t say ‘I do’ Marriage and Weddings are not for me, and this is not a phase. I’d like to start this article off by warning you - opinions such as mine on this topic are usually regarded as radical or ‘over the top’, and will not be shared by most. I consider what I’m writing to be a critique of overlooked aspects of ‘traditional’ weddings and marriage – classically heterosexual institutions. I wasn’t always anti-marriage; I’d chosen the song I was going to walk down the aisle to years ago! Just in the last year or so, I’ve became more inquisitive, more stubborn, and more educated on the topic. Embracing Feminism and undertaking Women’s Studies at University have taught me to question all that is passed off as ‘traditional’ and ‘normal’ in society. Seeing marriage differently was, in a way, like re-watching Disney movies from your childhood and noticing all of the plot-holes for the first time…but in another way, it was awesome. It’s like taking off the rose-coloured glasses and seeing everything as it really is…and it’s a way cooler colour underneath. It all started when I realised I didn’t want to change my surname upon getting married, even though it is eternally misspelt and mispronounced! I didn’t want our name to die out as a result of Danenberg men only having daughters - and daughters grow up to take their husbands’ last name, remember? Before long, I realised that I didn’t want to just keep my surname; I didn’t want to get married at all. The name. According to research by Australian academics Jo Lindsay and Dr Deborah Dempsey, the estimate figure of Australian women taking their husbands’ surname at marriage ranges from 80-95% - I read somewhere that it was 90% and upwards. This data is astounding, to say the least. Our names are the basis of our identities, and it’s not exactly rocket science to comprehend that when women give up their names at marriage, they are therefore willingly sacrificing a significant part of their identity, independence, being, and personhood. The ownership aspect is also important; the name-taking demonstrates that the wife now belongs to the husband, like his car or his livestock. The changing of the name is one of the many unequal and sexist elements of marriage; after all, how many men would take their wives’ name after marriage? According to Dempsey and Lindsay’s research, only 3%. I’ve never heard of a man changing his surname after marriage, and I imagine he would put up with a lot of crap for doing so. And that raises the question, why is it completely abnormal for a man to take his wives’ name at marriage but it’s expected that a woman takes her husbands’? Traditions, of course! I think that when we attempt to justify a history of systematic inequality against women as ‘tradition’, then we need to re-evaluate and start making some changes.

Interestingly, Dempsey and Lindsay’s Victorian study (Apologies, SA) revealed that 90% of children have their father’s surname; this includes children of women who keep their surnames, but still give the children the fathers’ surname. It’s simple enough to understand that babies are a mixture of their parents’ DNA, yet their names are more often than not, not representative of that mixture. Now, name-wise, what would be representative of both parents having their genetic input towards the child? The controversial double barrel, of course! It makes perfect sense in theory that the child gets a fair amount of each parent, but in real life only 2.4% of children have double-barrelled surnames. People say that hyphenated names are unfair to the kids themselves, as supposedly they’re harder to spell, to write, and they get teased for it. I’m sorry, but what a load of bull – it’s literally just a hyphen. Giving the child the mother’s surname is a lesser-chosen option too, and one that I like. If the norm is for only one parent’s name to get the limelight, why not make it the Mum’s for once? Let’s turn this double standard on its head and shake it up a bit. The Ring. Feminist writer Jessica Valenti has compared an engagement ring to the ear-tags of livestock, and I have to agree with her here. Now, I love jewellery as much as the next girl, but when you think about it, the engagement ring is really a mark of

“Seeing marriage differently was, in a way, like re-watching Disney movies from your childhood and noticing all of the plot-holes for the first time…but in another way, it was awesome. It’s like taking off the rose-coloured glasses and seeing everything as it really is… and it’s a way cooler colour underneath.” territory. It’s not exactly being urinated on, but these diamonds worn on a specific finger, show the world (and specifically men) that this woman belongs to a man – and the bigger the ring, the more impressive the man. What would really contribute to this double standard or ‘tradition’ being debunked would be if engagement rings were given to and worn by men as well as women.

The Dress. White wedding dress. White is the colour of purity. Virginity. Do you see where I’m going with this? Historically, and still today according to some religions, the bride and groom remain virgins until their wedding night; however, the emphasis of purity is on the woman, as the groom’s don’t wear a white suit to demonstrate their chasteness. The concepts of virginity and the idea that sex with a man has the power to literally change who a woman is (virgin/not a virgin, angel/ whore), is sadly misogynistic. I believe that sexual experience isn’t a measure of self worth; absence of sex doesn’t mean you’re pure, and presence of sex doesn’t mean you’re dirty. These socially constructed stereotypes only seek to hurt women; have you ever noticed how lots of sex makes a man a legend or a stud, while the very same thing makes a woman a tramp or slut? The Ceremony. In my opinion, this is the most romanticised and misunderstood aspects of weddings; the father walking his daughter down the aisle, and ‘giving away’ his little girl. The origins of this ‘tradition’ are symbolic of the bride’s father literally giving her away to another male; it implies constant patriarchal ownership over the woman, and she goes from having her father’s name to having her husband’s. The idea of the father ‘giving her away’ represents that she is not her own

person. I see it as a business deal, an exchange of goods; dowry for daughter. A lot of people have said to me that weddings and marriage don’t mean the same thing they used to, and that’s partly true. Progress has been made; we can have weddings with no engagement ring, no name changing, no white dress, and no father giving away his daughter. Would that make it a feministapproved wedding? Can a feminist wedding truly exist? I don’t know. The fact that the institution of marriage still widely denies gay people the right to marry proves how closed-minded it is, and how far it still has to go. What I do know is that one day I want to have a long-term, committed relationship and children; and I don’t need a marriage certificate to do that. To me, weddings and marriage today are a preservation of an institution that I will always have a problem with, and the rose-coloured glasses are well and truly off. Link: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/most-women-say-i-do-tohusbands-name-20120719-22d5c.html

Words and opinions by Eleanor Danenberg

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Being Mistress M

Artwork by Laura Anne, 2002

Words By Emma Sachsse

A couple of things you should know! Firstly I hate the BDSM connotations that the name Mistress M has. It just makes people think I am going to tie them up and spank them, I wouldn’t even know how. However, it is the name we used for the first You Tube videos and it stuck. Secondly, this all started when I was a comedian doing a sketch as a joke sexpert to promote my comedy show. The questions were written by my director and we aired it on Angry Aussies channel and that was to be the end of it but people wrote in wanting advice. Real people, wanting real advice and many more viewers than had ever wanted to hear my jokes. So I went with it and I really enjoyed it. I loved answering tricky questions, learning all the time and being shocked. I made disclaimers and when appropriate advised people to go to therapy. Then I thought, rather than send them to professional help, why not become the professional help? And so here I am at Flinders studying Psychology. Now when I tell people I am actually Mistress M, they start to tell me stuff about there sexuality or their sex life they haven’t told anyone else. They have known me for five minutes and I know more about how they like to have sex than their last sexual partner. The other thing that happens is, people tell me I got it wrong which is fine. To be honest I am so thrilled that people are reading my column, I don’t mind what they actually think of the content. However I do feel I need to clear something up. What I write is my opinion and my opinions have and do and can change according to my experiences, my mood, the latest research and who I feel the actual audience is. No one should read my column and think I have all the answers for everyone. I have an opinion and it is mine, it belongs to me. Your opinion is yours and should be shaped by various bits of information from many sources, varied experiences

and books, not by reality TV (psst, I will give you the heads up, it isn’t real). The problem with writing about sex is that I am trying to write something that is somewhat general about something that is so uniquely different and specific to each individual. We all have entirely different experiences of sexuality and all I hope to do is make your journey an easier one. I want everyone to have positive attitudes and experiences towards sex and sexuality. I am not advocating any particular type of behaviour, just find what works for you. What surprised me when I looked into it was that two people who I think do a great job of promoting sex positivity; Laci Green and Dan Savage have entire blogs of hatred directed at them, many of them. The reasons are numerous and are sometimes justified from the writers perspective, Laci appears anti theist and that upsets some people, Dan has used words that are considered slurs in the transgender community and there are many other examples. I figure that they are just people trying to make a living from giving their opinion and they won’t always have the answers, or the answers that work for everyone, or sometimes they will plain get it wrong. I still admire them for being out there and making a career from talking about sex and promoting sex positivity. I hope to do the same and I hope I never come across as ablest or cisgender biased but if I ever do I apologise, it only comes from the fact that I write from my point of view as that is the one I know best. I do try to take other points of view and experiences into account but if I don’t, please feel free to let me know, I am always happy to learn and to know that yet another person reads my column. s

COMIC BY MADELEINE KARUTZ

VO Q.

1. Rolling dice, summoning demons, drinking beer. 2. Not particularly, all the cool people are me anyway.

1.it’s the end of the year! what are your plans for the break? 2. do you ever miss uni while on break? 3. what has been the highlight of your year? 4. what is one thing you wish you could reverse this year? 5. one word to describe this year’s experience at uni? 6. what is your go-to method for surviving uni?

1. Work, watch movies, gym....Party?

2. Yes, because it gives me something to do.

3. The Sailor Moon remake.

3. Meeting new people.

4. Reading Clockwork Princess and making a Tumblr.

4. Crows not making the 8.

5. Expensive.

6. Hanging out with mates and alcohol.

6. Alcohol and children’s cartoons.

Nicholas

5. Exciting.

joel

1. I am headed home to the United States! But first celebrating Thanksgiving here with my Aussie mates! 2. Miss spending time with friends at times but not per say.

3. Working, relax days and going to games nights. 4. The problems I have had thanks to my heart condition. 5. Eventful.

6. Hanging out with friends and eating good food.

amber

pop

X O 1. Work, partying. 2. Nope.

1. Not coming back.

1. Vidya and beers!

2. I miss the bar.

2. I miss the Coopers Bar.

3. Free highlighters.

4. Procrastinating.

3. Burning my house down.

4. My grades.

5. Procrastination.

4. My bank account.

5. 13.

6. Procrastination.

5. Fresh start.

6. The bar.

3. Getting chocolate brought over from UK.

6. Pool and beer.

michael

max

adam

23 23

the future of flinders your student hub and plaza Flinders University is undergoing a transformation across campus that will see dramatic changes and developments occur throughout the year. These include the Plaza Redevelopment, the Student Hub and the Tonsley developments, and will affect every student and staff member of Flinders University. Words by Jess Nicole

Early plans for the Plaza Redevelopment and Student Hub Project began in 2013 in liaison with the Vice-Chancellor, Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Academic) and the University’s Council. Influenced by the facilities offered elsewhere at Australian universities, the project also sought out the opinions of the student body through the ‘Your Hub, Your Say’ student engagement campaign. Flinders students reported a desire for healthy and affordable food and beverage options, improved spaces to learn, socialise and relax, as well as better student services. There appears to be a trend of hubs following the development of The University of Adelaide’s student hub: “The emergence of student hubs is both an international and national trend, recognising the changing needs of students and responding with modern facilities to suit those needs,” says Shane McGregor, the university’s Senior Vice-President whose responsibilities include infrastructure planning.

Flinders University is forking out $30 million dollars for the student hub which is expected to be open by the start of the 2016 academic year to coincide with the university’s 50th anniversary. Older spaces in the Union, Library and Humanities will also be modernised on top of developing a professional services building. One of the integral aims of the developments is to encourage students to socialise and give them more reasons to stay on campus. The plaza redevelopment and student hub changes include facilities such as open learning areas, student lockers, and a student kitchen with microwaves and sandwich presses. The bar will be located on the first floor, at the southern end of the new hub and run across the front of the existing Union Building. It is expected to have a modern, contemporary vibe with a view of the lake, campus and ocean from the balcony. It will provide front bar style food and a pool table (possibly a foosball table in the student lounge). The bar will

only be able to host small live performances so larger performances will be held at the Plaza and utilise the big screen (and amphitheatre layout). The big screen will also be used for community activities, events and twilight movies. Alcohol will be available at Plaza events though the liquor license will not extend beyond the bar outside of special occasions. As such, on the average day, students and staff will only be permitted to drink at the bar and not the Plaza. In addition to the bar, there will be a food court (an improved Refectory), function centre and the provision of student services. The hub will offer a range of foods through Wholefoods, a mall café, restaurant, student bar and food vans. Interestingly, while Wholefoods and other food and beverage will be provided through Flinders One, most food and beverage will be provided by “independent operators” according to Shane McGregor. Flinders One will continue to provide health and

“It’s time to reinvigorate the heart of the campus.” fitness facilities however it will be less present on campus in terms of hospitality. It is public knowledge that redundancies have already been made at Flinders One. The General Manager of Flinders One, Andrew Nairn says, “Following discussions with the University, Flinders One is focusing on the delivery of more student facing food & beverage outlets, hence a greater focus on cafes and convenience. We will remain a considerable operator of cafes on campus but have less of a presence in the Student Hub. By focusing on cafes, Flinders One has the opportunity to restructure and become more efficient. This efficiency will allow us to far better reinvest back into student services. Flinders One is still working on a workforce plan.” Empire Times will be following up on the extent to which the Student Hub developments have impacted employees of Flinders One next year. The redeveloped model for the Plaza will be spacious enough for students to socialise, congregate, protest, hold stalls, and various other student events. Currently, there are no plans that see a bank available to students since NAB closed this year. The Flinders Post Office will offer an ATM and there is a possibility of an additional NAB ATM. Currently, the Post Office free cash withdrawal through EFTPOS. Unfortunately, there does not appear to be any ATMs available to students with no withdrawal fee though Shane McGregor says they are “looking at other options.” Toilets will be accessible where facilities

are open after hours and Universal Access toilets will be available in numerous locations. There will be super speedy WIFI campuswide and lockers available, some with electronic recharging devices. 24-hour access to computers will continue and there will be more computers available in the Library and in Union Building Hub spaces. Flinders University is boasting 2200 access points across campus and a download speed of 1GB/s. The Library will remain a four level building and the major refurbishments occurring on Level 0 (Plaza level) will also affect Unibooks. Flinders’ Plaza Redevelopment Art Advisory Panel has been established to identify and help harness art-related opportunities in the newly developed precinct. With student and staff representation from across the University, including Flinders University Art Museum & City Gallery; Flinders University Student Association (FUSA); Yunggorendi First Nations Centre; Flinders Asia Centre; School of Education; Law School; Department of Screen and Media; The Library; as well as Buildings and Property and Architects, Woods Bagot. The panel is in charge of consulting about art, murals and outside installations and they will work together to see student art, integrated art and commissioned works be displayed around campus. Students and their study are the main priorities during the developments. As

such, in order to minimise the impact the developments will have, major work has been timed to be outside of semester times. There may be “unavoidable disruption” during the project says Shane McGregor, however “we are committed to a strong communication plan to make sure everyone is well informed and disruptions are minimal.” Signage and other forms of communication will keep students informed about orientation to and from different locations during the developments. The construction period will see the temporary erection of food and beverage ‘laneways’ to provide options for students and staff. Shane McGregor says that the most exciting thing about the student hub is that it is “a radical transformation of a 50 year old space, into a dynamic, vibrant campus heart as well as the opportunity to provide improved and more versatile spaces, better food and beverage, and free, secure and reliable access to one of the fastest WIFI networks in the world.” While this project will undoubtedly prove disruptive to the study of students and work of staff over the course of the next year, if everything goes to plan, the new student hub and plaza will benefit both staff and students of Flinders University for years to come. Feedback from everyone throughout this process will be necessary to reflect the needs and concerns of the student body. To get a visual idea of how the new Hub and Plaza will look, go to flindersfuturefocus.flinders.edu.au

The hub has been designed to make the most of natural light and the extension to the Union Building will mainly be constructed from glass and the lower level of the Library will be opened up to allow a lot more natural light.

ART WORK BY HANNAH EVERETT

Just what is 'Students of Sustainability'? Words and Photography by Teigue Porter Let us consider the following potential hot button issues. We have environmental issues such as climate change, logging and pollution. Now let’s think about the injustices committed against Australian Aboriginals, past and present. If you still have the time and hunger, you can jump any which way into issues of capitalism, environmental sustainability, gender and sexuality issues, all of which is brought together in a week of fun, music and camping: Students of Sustainability (Or SOS for short).

I will spare you the many, many details I could go into, and the long tangents I could go on. I will tell you, that the very next morning, in the first of five morning plenaries (one for each day of the conference), which focused very much on Aboriginal Sovereignty, listeners gathered around the sacred fire at the Tent Embassy to listen. I am ultimately not sure if what the elders said that day changed my views, or tempered views I may have already held (both, I suspect), but I did not leave for the ANU that day with my views unchallenged.

I attended this years SOS in the nation’s capital, Canberra, held at the Australian National University. The following is a short retelling of events and experiences.

Workshops and plenaries provided at this conference range from covering a wide range of issues, starting with the environmental, and also including but not limited to issues of gender, sexuality, nuclear power, social justice, and activism. I was particularly impressed upon by the workshops pertaining to the broader environmental movement, and I feel as if my concerns have been further tempered with direction by these old “war stories” if you will. A high note of the conference for myself was the opportunity to listen to people such Drew Hutton (Founder of QLD Greens) and Jack Mundey (Who organised the green and black bans in Sydney during the 70s).

Upon arriving in Canberra, we had already been on the road since the day before, having travelled through and spent the night in Bendigo, Victoria. “We” took the form of myself and fourteen other individuals of varying ages, genders, and educational institution (although mostly from Flinders), representing the state of South Australia. We made our way to the Tent Embassy where accommodation for camping had been very generously provided by our nation’s traditional elders. The many tents set up there gave some idea as to the size of the conference; hundreds must have been set up.

When not immersing yourself in plenaries or workshops, you may alternate yourself into

political discussion with other attendees. Conversations concerning alternating points of view amongst a group of broadly very progressive students does smack of an echo chamber, but whether or not this is the case, I still found plenty of worthwhile topics to disagree with others about. Also of note, at least to me, is the significant artistic elements that come together beautifully in SOS. I had the pleasure of befriending many musicians within this community, including something of a legend in the community, musician Winiata Puru. As hippieish as it may sound (as if communal entertainment were a hippy notion) it was a genuinely joyful release and experience to share music (as a musician myself) with others at SOS. Whether you are new to activism, or a veteran, if you are interested in new ways of thinking and environmental politics, if the broader political platform appeals to you, or if this sounds like your gig, you can experience it all first hand in 2015, and without the need to travel interstate: this next year shall see SOS and it’s colourful activities come to Adelaide. s

Politics

Rhyme without Rhythm American author Mark Twain once noted, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.” And certainly the announcement by Prime Minister Tony Abbott that Australian planes will participate in United States-led air strikes on forces in Iraq brought with it more than a smattering of familiarity. Mr Abbott, who once described himself as the “love-child of Bronwyn Bishop and John Howard”, has gone further than his vaunted Liberal predecessor in justifying Australia’s need to commit to another incursion into the birthplace of Western civilisation. Lest we forget, John Howard’s justification for engaging Australian forces in Iraq was to, “[D]eprive Iraq of its weapons of mass destruction…which, even in minute quantities, are capable of causing death and destruction on a mammoth scale.” Despite the shifting justifications for Australia’s involvement in the war as it dragged on,

there are few people that could plausibly argue that Saddam Hussein should have been kept in power. Despite this, there are growing numbers of people who, with the benefits of hindsight, apparently preferred the deposed dictator to all of the mess caused by the imposition of democracy.

standing up with the United States for what is right. The only things that keep the world swinging on its axis, in his mind, are the men and women — mostly men — who speak English as a first language and who are willing to go out there and do the hard yards.”

Tony Abbott’s justification for embarking on yet another war in this region is to stop the ‘apocalyptic death cult.’ Language like this serves only to feed our sense of decency and embolden us to act, to do what must be done no matter the consequences. To be clear, the entity operating in Syria and Iraq increasingly known as Da’ish – calling them Islamic State is factually wrong, as a number of prominent Islamic scholars have noted – should be stopped. But this is not Australia’s concern.

Similar criticisms were made of John Howard in his decision to follow President George W. Bush. Furthermore, the demonization of asylum seekers as ‘national security risks’ during the Howard Government has continued under an Abbott Government, with an extra focus on the Muslim community in Australia thrown in for good measure. Because what better way to discourage radicalisation than by damaging relations with those in the community who could actually help de-radicalise disaffected youth?

As Hugh White noted in a New York Times quote, “Abbott thinks of brave little Australia

When announcing on October 3 that the

“When announcing on October 3 that the Cabinet had approved of the decision to begin strikes against militants in Iraq, Abbott said of the 2003 Iraq conflict, “I accept that we have to learn the lessons of the past.” But what lessons? ” Cabinet had approved of the decision to begin strikes against militants in Iraq, Abbott said of the 2003 Iraq conflict, “I accept that we have to learn the lessons of the past.” But what lessons? That it’s hard to improvise an occupation? That counterinsurgency is ugly? That the adversaries might defend their interests in ways ‘we’ may not like? Or that shockingly, incredibly secure countries like Australia and the United States are unable to sustain public support for extended wars of occupation?

invaded or attacked four of his neighbours and killed tens of thousands of his citizens. In the unstable and insecure environment of 9/11, Saddam was seen to be more a threat to the region than any other regional strongman.

These discordant notes skitter across our debates on this issue. The (ostensible) Opposition Leader Bill Shorten, in his haste be perceived as something, has added exactly nothing to the debate. In this endeavour, he not only fulfilled Labor’s inability to defeat the coalition on foreign policy issues, but also abdicated the role of the Opposition in holding the Government of the day to account.

In the same way, this new mission in Iraq is seen as being able to ‘correct’ the mistakes that the Allies made in the 2003 invasion of Iraq. This time, ‘Nation Building’ is the key objective of the new Iraq campaign. Rather than being a problem in the region, the reformulation of Iraq is talked about as being the solution to numerous and highly complex problems that the West faces in that region. Chief among them is the hope that a consensual government in Iraq would not only strengthen the feeble democratic urgings of the region, but would also intensify the pressure on the despotic regimes to cease their funding of the sorts of terrorist organisations that began this mess.

So what are we to believe? A large part of the justification of the 2003 invasion of Iraq was to ‘correct’ the mistake of the 1991 Gulf War – that is, the decision to not remove Saddam. In the time period between the Gulf War and the 2003 invasion of Iraq, Saddam had

The 2003 case for invading Iraq was weak as it was based on finding weapons of mass destruction, and when they ultimately failed to materialise, the rationale shifted, talk of ending tyranny and fostering democracy became the watchwords words when

justification of the invasion was needed. On one level, the invasion of Iraq was little more than a demonstration of raw power wrapped in the comforting garb of a grand global strategy. When it comes to foreign policy, despite the various misfortunes of our geography and the small but respectable size of our armed services, Australia has generally eschewed the regionalist limitations placed upon us by well-meaning outsiders. Our strategy is generally formed along the same lines as that of our ‘Great and Powerful Friend’, or rather, we occupy the spaces in strategy assigned to us by that power. Ultimately, our reasons for re-entering this war will be judged against our behaviour in it. For posterity’s sake, let’s hope that this time we can partner with those who have a better vision for the future and avoid the urge to smash something.

Words by Jesse Barker Gale

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The Science Science The Words by Rohan neagle illustrations by Rafal Banasiak scientists engineer brain virus that can make you sleep: Sure, maybe you can take a melatonin pill or go under the smooth and easy effects of anaesthesia to help you sleep, but that’s not an option for everybody. What if I told you that there is a different way to help you go to sleep? A batshit science way to kick in your biological snooze algorithm? It all comes down to a place in your brain called the parafacial zone that’s located inside your brainstem. The parafacial zone holds a type of neuron that, when activated, releases a neurotransmitter that makes the body enter a deep sleep. Electrocuting the neurons is too mundane of a job for some insane researchers – in fact, some insane researchers decided to use a virus modified with a protein attachment to infect and infiltrate said neurons. This virus was injected directly into the brains of rats. The rats were given a pill that interacted with the protein attached to the virus, which, at the end of a chain reaction, stimulated the neurons and made the rats sleep. The rats were described to wake up well rested, but didn’t undergo REM sleep. Basically, if you undergo this procedure, you’d have a sleep on-off switch facilitated by a pill. This is great for people suffering insomnia or narcolepsy, and also great for being incredibly insulting at parties. All it requires is a virus injected into your brain. Hopefully, you don’t wind up like the rats and have your brain removed, frozen, and sliced for neurological mapping.

Why do we sleep? To clean up the brain, of course! We sleep for a lot of reasons, but the most compelling reason is for facilitating a wastedisposal service deep in the brain. Over the course of an average day your brain builds up lots of waste – such as something called a ‘beta-amyloid’ protein. Think of your brain as a collection of MMO addicts who don’t leave their computers at all – they kind of just let dishes pile up and don’t clean up after themselves. When you are sleep deprived, your brain doesn’t work optimally because of this cruddy build up all in your thinkbits. By going to sleep, your cells are given time to shrink, and cerebrospinal flushes your gross brain gunk out into the bloodstream where it can be taken to the liver to be broken down. Your brain’s waste disposal system is called the ‘glymphatic system’ and, without it, the build-up of waste in your brain would bring you to a sleep-deprived demise. Even though you’ve read this, you’re probably still gonna deprive yourself of sleep and fill your brain with its own shit to a point where it’s dying. Get some sleep you grots. (Note: this ‘Science Of’ was finished at 4AM)

of Sleep Your sleep patterns determine your ethics:

some people have genes that are better at dealing without sleep: There’s X-Men style mutants among us, and their superpower is going with slightly less sleep than us common folk. Before you grab your pitchforks, torches, and intolerance of things you don’t understand, first let me explain. These people not only need less sleep than most but they also deal with sleep deprivation after an all-nighter better than us. And the reason is because of a gene variant called ‘p.Tyr362His’ compared to the gene us normal folk called ‘BHLHE41’. Folks with the p.Tyr variant sleep five hours a night on average compared to our regular 7 hours a night on average (for a baseline decent sleep, anyway). How did science recognise this? Well, it didn’t involve invasive brain surgery, but rather, testing many pairs of twins in a lab setting. The twin pairs were recognised as one having the variant and the other not, which allowed for a 36hour sleep deprivation experiment. The twins did tests during their sleep deprivation so the scientists could watch their steady decline into cognitive disrepair and wild flights of creative delusions. In the end, the twin with the gene variant did better at tests, and they also spent less time sleeping in order to recover from this voluntary torture - 8 hours of sleep on average compared to the regular twin who spent 9.5 hours. Hopefully, one day, those of us who need more sleep can get medical certificates to justify coming into appointments late. Still, that requires many people getting that.

There is a war between the early risers and the all-nighters. I’m talking Larks vs Night Owls. I’m talking those freaks who wake up all chipper in the morning for god knows what and there’s those depraved and moody bastards who stay up all night. See, despite your allegiance, when you’re up at a time you’re not used to you’re more likely to be less ethical in your behaviour. So, in response, a Lark vs Night Owl experiment was done in the morning and at midnight. A participant would roll a dice and report a number. The researcher wouldn’t know the number, but they would pay the participant based on how high they scored on the dice roll. This allowed the participant to lie and get paid more. The researchers didn’t use any sneaky recordings of the dice role but instead used basic probability to determine who lied more. A six-sided die rolls a total of 3.5 on average so if everyone was honest the average of the dice rolls would be close to that. By looking at trends, they were able to determine people were much more likely to lie and report a higher roll if they were up at a time they hated. Other studies have shown that, to circumvent this sleep-deprived lack of morals/will, you can drink something caffeinated and be your regular self. Then again, if you’re an opportunistic evil bastard I guess there’s not much you can do (except exploit this information, of course).

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POETRY & PROSE A KNIGHT’S PLIGHT It appears, with shame, you can’t call me knight. These soldiers of our capture total nine, Though none of them with more fear to incite, While we are locked in our ancient confines. It is clear that a love has been lost And you are determined to make theirs break — But I must ask, my dear, at what cost? With a bloodied sword, your intent’s opaque. I watched as, through their many necks, you tore. With wicked sword, you birthed such horrid sights! In the dungeons, we heard only a snore — As you, my lady, took of me my plight. My love, escape at your hand tastes so sweet, Yet, having made their cruel deaths, you weep. Words by J. R. Koop

Cherry bomb splitting belt Everything I knew about Has gotten up and gone out Is it me just being a lout? Or have we chosen separate routes? Everything up now feels down No love felt from my small town The wind howls and blows my gown Smiles turn into a frown Nobody here is right tonight Everything in this night’s a plight It’s not right and we’ve reached our height It’s time to leave and say goodnight Words by Tim Walter

An Unanswered Question Why is it that we weep for trivial losses but cannot shed a tear when a stranger loses a son? Why is it that we will share our profits when we have nothing and stand together as one? What is it called when a wealthy man elects to waste his riches rather than give to those in need? What is it called when our ambition takes on the form of a greater evil such as greed? When do we close our eyes to all the beauty and open ourselves to hate? When do we sell out our dreams and forget our destinies and fate? Why is it that our trust and love can turn to fear and anger after one futile fight? Why is it that we are honest and fair in the day but steal and cheat under cover of night? Why is it that we can hold our heads high while our brothers cry in despair? Why is it that we realise our mistakes when they are too late to repair? Words by Michael Adams

Artwork by Bronte Rea

Wide Awake Jake Words by J.J Nestor Met you when I was just sixteen Which would have made you all of fifteen As scrawny as you were sweet…we shot the breeze with ease But in those brief, silent moments… …between our synchronised, post-laughter exhalation and the mutual escapism we found in the crackle of our hollow, flowing voices… In those quiet sighs … I realised only words can lie…plus your smile was so blinding (a mask no one looked inside) ….but even then, there was a darkness in your eyes, I recognised within myself But we were kids and even though we didn’t know it at the time …with our snarky teenage angst… Early adulthood knocking at our door Our hearts were pure… When I saw you two years later… The innocence was gone and in your eyes, was a defiance stronger than the strongest substance in your pockets… You swapped me powder for downers, We swapped stories for hours and watched girls dance in clouds of smoke around us… For two more years we crossed paths For two more years I ignored Our ugly similarities In fact I was relieved when you pushed the boundaries

with fair regularity

I took things too far but you were fucking crazy… I stopped caring enough to compare when fun buzzes and trips turned into only methamphetamines I should have known the pipe’s the devil Because the devil’s very careful Persistent, calm and gentle Led me down yet another level Until I stumbled at the needle And with hands full of tremble I said “just this one time, Mr. Devil”. But sicker still, when the shame faded and in its place, a sort of self-righteous malaise… ‘til i couldn’t even recognise myself- it wasn’t just my face that changed I was barely 40 kilos; a sick young girl How I recovered is a story for another day… As I got out Wide Awake Jake Strutted to the devil’s door When you didn’t join me, in bright and sunny sobriety I cut you out like every other threat I have the luxury of living With my regrets Last year… You tried to get clean Moved back in with your mum Three weeks later On Valentine ’s Day She found you dead in your bed You were barely twenty-one I wonder… did you miscalculate? Or was it too hard to go straight? I think of you all the time Finally Sleeping Jake

pin cushions for arms

Imagery by Andrea Surajbally

Photography by Jack McEntee

FIELDS I saw empty land like this field when I was at home But the grass had always been like dirtied straw And beneath these dry strands was ochre sand That hid a secret born from want. My memories kept me safe, kept me on the road, Never allowing me to veer for a wander in the fields. Even in safe lands, every step away from the road feels like it will bring my end. Every muscle is stiff, rigid like a coffin But I walk on and look to the sky. It is a blue that fades to white as it touches the ground. It is not stained by smoke or flashes of red. It is the calm I hope my country will one day see. Words by Anita Sanders

Time Days push you like waves towards the shore crashing atop sand already ground fine. They pull at you drawing you into unfathomable depths only to drop you unceremoniously back at their end. Waves build and build Days build and build and build Tides build and build and build and build then stop. Buildings crumble broken bits everywhere. Tsunamis. Symphonies. Epiphanies. Great cataclysms of time and thought. We think of time as uniform, the seconds ticking in beats. We watch time come and go, but act as if it never leaves its seat. Words by Jack McEntee

Selective Memory My clothes in a pile lay next to yours Everything I know and love I adore Memories we share lay side by side It’s in my heart you can live and confide Two blips on a radar, yours and mine Matching outfits hung out to dry on the line How I miss your voice and your touch I wear the shirt you bought me buttoned up We have shared the most love that I have known Love is all I want to show and be shown But what’s the point when you can’t see I’m still the boy you love, the boy that I used to be Words by Tim Walter

FictioN

Frightened out of your skin! “What’s wrong? You scared?” “no,” Martin scoffed, trying to sound casual. “i just think it’s stupid.” “Then just do it. it’s only twenty minutes, then we can go home... unless you’re too chicken.” Martin gulped and looked at the house. It wasn’t just any house; it was the Fortman house. And as if that wasn’t enough; it was the Fortman house on Halloween night. It was the creepiest building in town, and everyone knew it was haunted - even the grownups. Its jagged roof reached into the night sky like a reptile claw; its windows boarded shut. The walls were free of vandalism, because of course no graffiti artist was brave enough to so much as set a finger on the rotting gate. Martin had paused too long and his friends turned on him, masking their own apprehension with sharp taunts. “Not so confident now, are you?” Curtis smirked. “Why don’t you just admit you’re a scaredy cat?” Martin felt his face flush. “Why don’t you shut up?” He stomped forward and opened the gate in one quick movement to disguise his trembling hands. Stepping onto the cracked stone path, he turned around and closed the creaky gate. The hatch clicked shut. “See you in twenty minutes.” Before his pride failed him, he turned and walked towards the front door. He hadn’t even made it half way when the looming house sucked out his fortitude, replacing it with ice-cold terror. His chest felt tight; his limbs tingled. He could hear his own panicked breathing

as it rasped in and out of his parched mouth. Had he always breathed this loud? You’d think his parents would have sent him to a doctor if he had. Martin inched his way closer, all pretense of bravado lost to his jangling nerves. The wind chilled his bare arms, making the hairs stand on end. The house creaked on its foundations, the ominous noise leaving Martin unable to do anything but walk and try not to pee. How did you get yourself into this? his mind screamed at him. It had been his own fault, really. He had been at home with his friends watching scary movies for Halloween, and somehow they’d ended up playing truth or dare. After daring Curtis to spend ten minutes alone in the dark basement, and witnessing his spectacular terror, Martin had laughed until he nearly passed out. Curtis, as revenge for making fun of him, had dared Martin to spend twenty minutes in the Fortman house. Just give up, Martin’s mind told him. Just turn around, go home and bury your shame with a bag of jelly beans. But he had reached the door, and there was no going back. If he quit now, he’d never live it down. He twisted the handle and it turned reluctantly. For a glorious moment he thought it was locked, but then it opened with a clunk. Reaching out, he gingerly poked the door like he was afraid it’d bite him, and took a wary step back as it opened with a creek that was eerily reminiscent of every horror movie Martin had ever seen. He forced himself to turn and gave a nervous smile as he waved to his friends. With that, he stepped through the doorway and was swallowed up by the house.

Remembering the rules of the dare, he grudgingly shut the door behind him. With what little light the moon had been casting now sealed off, he was thrown into impenetrable darkness. He waited several agonising seconds for his eyes to adjust, feeling like bait floating in an endless black ocean, knowing nothing but the floorboards under his feet and the smell of dust in the stale air. Finally he began to make out shapes in the gloom, and started moving around cautiously. There was old furniture covered in dusty plastic sheets, the skirting boards freckled with paint that had peeled off the walls. He found a light switch that unsurprisingly did nothing. After a few moments of wandering he discovered a door and peeked inside at what seemed to be the silhouette of a kitchen. He wondered if he might find a torch in one of the cupboards and stepped inside, the door swinging shut behind him. Clutching his hands close to his chest, he crept towards a marble workbench and opened one of the cupboards underneath. Empty. As he closed it and stood up, there was a click and the kitchen was flooded with light. Martin felt his heart seize, his body jolting with surprise even as his head whipped round to find the source of the click. The sudden light made his eyes sting, but once he was able to focus there was no mistaking what he was looking at, and his mouth dropped open in disbelief. In the corner of the room, finger still resting on the light switch, stood a skeleton. As he watched, it raised a hand and waved uncertainly, despite having no muscles or tendons to hold its yellow bones together. “Umm... Hello,” it said. “Now... Don’t freak out.” Martin screamed, felt his head get very light, and everything went

black. When he woke up, the skeleton was crouched by his side, nervously fanning him with a dainty napkin. Martin screamed and kicked himself away, scrambling across the tiled floor until the back of his head hit the pantry. “Oh good,” the skeleton sighed with relief, “you’re not dead.” “Get away from me!” Martin shouted as the skeleton stood up. “Get away? But this is my house.” Martin could feel the adrenaline pumping through his body, his legs aching to run. “Don’t hurt me!” The skeleton tilted its head. “Why would I do that?” “You’re a talking skeleton!” Martin pointed. “Don’t you like, eat people’s flesh?” The skeleton laughed. “I wish! In case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have a stomach.” “So you’re... Not going to kill me?” “Sorry to disappoint.” “And you live here?” Martin asked slowly. “How has no one found you?” “They have,” said the skeleton, leaning against a workbench, “mostly kids like yourself, skulking around the house for dares. Normally they don’t get this far back, but when they do I just lie down and play dead; that always sends them running. Never once had the police turn up afterwards though, which seems odd. You’d think they’d report a skeleton to the authorities, but I guess that says a lot about today’s youth. I would have done the same with you, but you caught me off guard and it was too dark to see a bloody thing.”

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Despite himself, Martin smiled. “How long have you been living here?” “I don’t know, how long has it been abandoned? It’s not like I have a calendar. I tried keeping track of the days by marking the walls, but I thought it was too dramatic and I just felt silly.” Martin stood up warily, slapping the dust from his jeans. “You’re not very scary, for a talking skeleton.” “Oh?” it tilted its head “Met a lot of talking skeletons, have you?” “Well... no,” Martin admitted. “So how do you know what we’re like? That, young man, is called profiling, and I won’t have it in my house.” “Sorry. Do you... have a name?” “I did, but I forgot what it was, so you can just call me Marrow. And you are?” “I’m Martin. Can I shake your hand, or would I like, pull your arm off?” “Handshakes are fine,” Marrow nodded, stepping forward and offering his hand. They shook, and Martin looked around. The kitchen wasn’t nearly as ominous now that it was light. It smelled a little damp, but was otherwise tidy. It was certainly cleaner than the front room had been. All the shelves and, Martin assumed, the entire kitchen, was empty of food. “How long have I been in here?” “I’m not sure, you were out for like fifteen minutes after you fainted.” Martin felt his cheeks redden. “I didn’t faint, I just... fell asleep.” Marrow nodded. “Of course, you just took a tactical nap.” “Exactly.” “While you were standing.” “Umm... Yeah...” “And screaming like a three-year-old.” “So,” Martin cut him off, “how do you not just fall apart? I mean you don’t have any muscles or anything.”

“Would you believe that it’s tiny invisible fairies?” “I don’t think so.” Marrow lowered his head and shook it sadly. “No one ever believes tiny fairies.” “Okay then,” said Martin, clearing his throat. “You seem to have gone slightly crazy from being alone in here, so I better get back to my friends before they leave without me. It’s been great meeting you.” “The pleasure was all mine. Do me a favour and don’t tell anyone I’m here; I’d rather avoid the attention.” “Like they’d believe me?” Martin smiled. “Well, have a good night, Marrow.” He turned and stepped out the kitchen, weaving through the furniture to the front door. He wasn’t nearly as frightened of the house as he had been, and it made him smile, knowing it would drive Curtis mad. Just as he started turning the handle, Marrow called to him from the kitchen door. “Martin?” “What?” Marrow waved his hands. “Happy Halloween!” With that, he closed the door. Martin chuckled as he stepped outside.

Words by Craig Blane

FOOD REVIEW

Nordburger Words By Robbie Peschel Burgers. When you think of burgers, you usually think Micky D’s or KFC. The past two years we have had an explosion of burger joints around Adelaide. Everyone loves a good burger; you can even get a decent vego burger those days - not imitation meat but a genuine replacement. ‘Gourmet’ burgers joints aren’t new; one seems to pop up every month. It’s hard not to hear of Nordburger, which has become a bit of a Norwood icon. The brainchild of Micheal Weldon, who was one of the previous ‘Masterchef’ contestants. Welden has taken advantage of the newly vacated (and missed) vegetable shop. And what excellent use he has made of ita modern retake of an American diner, with a limited set of burgers to choose from – recommended is the Bacon-Double, but be warned – it may look like a slider, it is very filling! A vego burger is also on offer. Also, you cannot, and should not, go past the salted caramel shake. It’s worth going there just for that. The only downside of the joint is the limited seating. Grill’d is across the road (and one opened lately in Rundle Street). It’s bigger, but also quite busy. It’s less traditional, aiming for more of a ‘restaurant’ feel. A great spot for an after-movie bite. You have a choice of panini or sesame bun with your burger.

The satay chicken burger with coleslaw was interestingly original and fresh. The chips cost extra on the side, nicely toasted, but for the price of $4.50, felt they were over-priced and not that great. The upside is, you don’t have to battle for a place like Nordburgers .

late. And you can even get a discount if you make an order voiced as ‘Duff-Man’ from ‘The Simpsons’! Aw yeah!

Now that SWOTVAC is almost upon us and, even worse, exams, you’re probably spending a lot of time on campus – take a break and drive to Blackwood, and soak in the warmer weather now it’s spring\ summer? Give Fancy Burger a go, they have a small menu and it’s hard to choose from. It’s a nice hole-in-the-wall place across the shopping centre in Blackwood and you can even have a sneaky beer while you’re at it.

The Triple Royale has three 150gm beef patties with cheddar cheese sauce, American pickles, mustard and ketchup. It’s a heart attack to order, but oh so delicious! Despite this, the desserts are well worth the trip alone.

If you’re looking for a place where you can chase an amazing burger with an equally incredible dessert, Chuck Wagon in Prospect is well worth the trip. It has been recently renovated. It is full of iconic Americana, and the food is as American as it gets. The place is hard to miss, with a lifesized Captain America mannequin placed by the door. There is a wide choice of burgers, amongst other food you can get here, and the menu is consistently changing, with ‘special’ burgers to go with a theme that is occurring at the time. It is something out of Homer Simpson’s dreams. It’s also close to the cinemas as well and stays open quite

There are vegetarian choices, but if you are vegetarian, you would probably want to avoid the place.

The dessert menu consistently changes and includes delights like this – house made waffles - with grilled banana, creamy mascarpone, crushed hazelnuts, caramel sauce, Nutella sauce (Nutella lovers rejoice!), toasted marshmallows, raspberry coulis, whipped cream, candied bacon strips, vanilla ice cream, peanut butter honey sauce (OMG, I know!), MORE hazelnuts AND - two sparklers! It can be your birthday, anytime! It’s probably wise to keep a healthy diet around this time of the year with assignments and exams upcoming, but don’t forget to treat yourself! Wishing you the best of luck for the exams and the rest of the semester and a summer full of good times and food!

Film REVIEWS

Gone Girl Words By Shaun Hobby As a David Fincher film, Gone Girl is more Zodiac than Fight Club. Gillian Flynn’s acclaimed exploration of suburban ennui and media frenzy moves through its waypoints with a careful deliberation. From a directorial standpoint, the film is a thing of beauty. From the disorienting opening credits that move so quickly that the feeling of small-town America seeps subliminally into the viewer’s brain to the bookended opening and closing that shows us the lengths that we will go to to stay exactly where we are. No Spoiler Warning: All of the ghosts of the general fiction section have already read the book. But, this is Hollywood not Dymocks, so I don’t plan to give away any of the plot spoilers from the second half of the film. Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike play Nick and Amy Dunne, a pair of Manhattan creative who, hit hard by the recession and family tragedy, relocates to suburban Missouri. Nick, who returns home to care for his dying mother, opens a bar with his sister while Amy begins to fade into the background of her own life. The story picks up when Amy goes missing under suspicious circumstances. The eyes of the national media turn upon Nick. Gone Girl is a wonderful exploration of the ways that a relentless, bloodthirsty, media machine can pluck a person from an ordinary set of circumstances and cast them as a monster in a matter of days. Amy’s disappearance, combined with her public profile as the inspiration for the protagonist of a series of children’s books, fuels an increasingly vitriolic whirlwind of character assassination and thinly veiled accusation. Pike shines as Amy, the very picture of the caged bird yearning to be free of the suburban hell her increasingly distant husband has consigned her to. Affleck, true to form, plays Nick Dunne with the

charisma of a piece of particleboard. Maybe I’m missing something, but I just didn’t get anything from his performance. It’s almost like they sat down at the start of production and said, “Alright, we need somebody who looks okay in a chambray shirt and is taller than Rosamund Pike”. I’m not sure that Affleck didn’t just pretend he was making a sequel to The Company Men. For me, the standout performances come from Carrie Coon’s Margo, Nick’s feisty twin sister and the true moral core of the story and Missy Pyle’s Ellen Abbott. Ellen Abbott is a beautiful caricature of tabloid vulture Nancy Grace. Tyler Perry is Tyler Perry playing a lawyer shaped like Tyler Perry. Fincher’s direction is sumptuous. His masterful eye for angles and composition is on display in Gone Girl. Almost every frame of the film gives the impression that it is being marshaled by a director who is truly on top of his game. The film is ponderous where it needs to be, but doesn’t hesitate to show moments of jarring, unexpected action which serve to drive the plot forward at a pace that held my attention for the film’s two and a half hour runtime. Gone Girl shows us, in exquisite detail, that things behind the walls of suburban McMansions littered with European SUVs are rarely exactly what they seem to be. Some of us may be filled with doubt and regret about the way our lives turned out when the outside world started to encroach upon our dreams, but rarely do we get the chance to watch people discover the lengths they will go to in the quest to reclaim their sense of self. Gone Girl is perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon. It is a simple visual feast and a darkly comic gem. It’s not always an easy time, but it is a good time.

The Immigrant Words By Callum McLean James Gray’s latest film, The Immigrant, is a subdued firecracker of a film. In this story of an immigrant being fed to the underbelly of 1920s New York society, there is a tempestuousness that boils under the surface, creating a controlled fire that threatens to explode at any point. This is a quietly determined film. I’m not familiar with any of Gray’s work, but on this viewing alone he seems to be a master filmmaker. The Immigrant follows Ewa Cybulska (Marion Cotillard), a Polish immigrant who is forced to leave her sick sister Magda behind on Ellis Island while she goes on alone to New York. She turns her hand to prostitution to make ends meet, aided by theatre owner Bruno (Joaquin Phoenix). Bruno has an intense passion for her, which is turned to worrying obsession by the interest of illusionist Emil (Jeremy Renner). Whilst this might read as a fiery tale of love and anger, the proceedings are exceedingly controlled by director James Gray. He keeps his subjects in tight focus and claustrophobic conditions; from the packed Immigrant Station to the theatre and tunnels that Bruno and his girls are reduced to working out of. The film is a slow burner, moving at the same pace for most of the run time bar one moment of high intensity. Still, there is a fair amount of restraint going on here; in the design, direction and performances. Darius Khondji, who did the cinematography for Woody Allen’s colour fantastic Magic in the Moonlight, brings down the lights for a far more intimate experience. Chris Spelman’s score is emotive and strong. Stylistically it hangs together beautifully, forming a collage of anxiety—and yet, it feels like there is a fire that never gets lit, a payoff that never comes. This doesn’t ruin what is an emotional satisfactory ending—there is one hug present that feels thoroughly deserved. The three leads are perfectly cast; they not only look suitably period, but manage to work together as a trinity. As Ewa’s two love

interests, Phoenix and Renner give fine performances. Phoenix in particular makes much of his troubled character, starting out cool and effortless and slowly unravelling this as his world falls apart. Despite the negative aspects of his character, he becomes strangely sympathetic. Ric Menello and Gray’s screenplay does not bother to flesh out Emil, who is seemingly there just to make a wedge between Ewa and Bruno, but Renner makes good work of his limited character. From start to finish, though, the star is undoubtedly Cotillard. Her restrained performance breaks in some standout moments where all her quiet desperation is thrown aside to reveal the inferno blazing inside her. It is powerful to watch. The Immigrant’s timing could not be more apt. It did the film festival rounds last year, but only received commercial release in the last quarter of this year. With its themes of immigration and its migrant audience perspective, it does not shy away from what a terrifying experience immigration to a new world from a hopelessly wrecked one is like. Australia resembles right now what this film retroactively reproduces; a city of casual racism and distrust for the outsider. I say ‘retroactively reproduces’ with intent, as this film is depicting 1921; not exactly a time we should, from an advanced stage, be trying to emulate. Though this message is probably lost on those who need it most, The Immigrant at least turns out to be timely in its appearance in cinemas. And when said message comes in such a stylish package as this, there is little reason to miss it.

Complete the crossword and send a picture of your answers to stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au and WIN one of ten free double passes to Palace Nova!

Across 1. Didn’t get into a decent University? Open your own. Get … 5. Charlize’s futuristic bomb somehow made less sense than the cartoon. (2 words) 7. Mall security guard who attempts to foil an organized gang’s robbery (2 words) 9. These girls get scared to death in an early “haunted farmhouse” scholker. 11. Zombies, cricket bats, Bernard Black. No prozes for this one. (4 words) 15. Angels to some, demons to others … 19. A twisted caterer sets his sights on a young women travelling for love (2 words). 21. Godfather writer pens story of the “discoverer” of America. 22. A young girl builds a dream world that helps her parents save their marriage. 23. Things aren’t quite right at Straker and Barlow Antiques (2 words)

Down 1. It’s fate vs free will with this millineristic bureau. 2. An urban legend haunts a Chicago housing project. 3. Is a man who cannot be bad truly good? (3 words). 4. Substandard remake of Spanish “zombie” flick. 6. This short film tells the story of telepathic exotic dancer. 8. Can you handle the truth? (4 words). 10. Falling off the road of this building may wreck your hair, mother goose (2 words). 11. Did she murder her baby? Tilda will get to the bottom of this case (2 words). 12. This curse involves a shady hypnotist’s tool (2 words). 13. A radio DJ helps a man find the holy grail (3 words). 14. Vengeance and rash decisions take Lance to the with in the bayou. 16. Estranged brothers battle it out in a nonsensical mixed martial arts tournament. 17. Broken broker breaks out the ten-speed and turns bike messenger. 18. This Napa Valley Wine tour of a film still feels corked. 20. Midian is where the monsters live.

ZINE REVIEW

a homo healed

shit’s fucked

$4 AUD - I got it from Sticky in Melbourne. Contact them here: stickyshop@gmail.com Zinemaker: Kieran fear.gaia@gmail.com bukkake-bouquet.tumblr.com

$3 USD - - I got it from the same etsy store as Awkward Sex (https://www.etsy.com/shop/antiquatedfuture) Zinemaker: Gina Sarti Oakland, California Fall 2013 Printed at Inkworks Press

Misleading: The zine isn’t as offensive as the title suggests. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. The title is a play on the title of a book called Can Homosexuality Be Healed? The zine recites poems refashioned from the original text of the book the zinemaker’s Catholic parents placed upon their bookshelf.

Support and advice: Shit’s Fucked is a 20-page canary yellow pocked sized self-help guide for “punks, nerds, and malcontents,” though I would argue that it is a booklet of intellect and advice for just about every 20/30-something out there. The advice is well intentioned and well received by this reader. Zinemaker Gina Sarti has conjured up a list of 16 very sweet and funny reminders of what we all need when we’re feeling down or, as the title says, when shit’s fucked. From reiterating the mantra of eating well while shrugging off the minor difficulties life spits out at you to creating an annual theme of “go big or go home” to avoid indecision throughout the year, this zine is a cute bundle of counsel aimed at improving your overall mental and physical wellbeing.

Effective editing: Seeing such a book on your parents’ bookcase is pretty terrifying and the zinemaker has chosen to reject the homophobic ideals within the book through blackout (or in this case, whiteout) poetry. The zinemaker has photocopied pages of the book and selectively blanked out words, leaving broken sentences to make up individual poems. The zinemaker transforms the negative commentary in the book into poems that reflect the appropriation and empowerment of homosexuality. “A survey…of…homosexual clients…23 percent changed to…become heterosexual…These results are…another myth” is a blatant rejection of the concept that sexual orientation is a choice and something that can be manipulated. Other poems playfully mock the notion that homosexuality is a sin—“Jesus Christ…is quoted as saying…I’ve had a long,hard…homosexual activity”. Less is more: A Homo Healed uses a lot of white space which suits the simplistic and direct nature of the poetry presented. I also appreciate the use of a typewriter for the preface (despite the errors I love a hands-on zine) and the amount of time that must have been put into selectively deleting masses of words. Overall: the zine isn’t as seething as one would expect when dealing with an aggressively religious, homophobic book focused around ‘healing’ gay people through faith. Instead of making it kindling material, the zinemaker has cleverly converted (pun intended) the text into a celebration of homosexuality.

That made me snort-laugh: The snarky cover with an illustration of a burning house, especially in conjunction with the italicised handwritten tag “a positivity guide,” however the content really is more positive than you would think on first glance. It’s a perfect gift for: a friend, housemate, family member or anyone who needs the motivation to escape from mendacity. Place this zine in your box of cherished self-care items along with your blankets, hot cocoa, sweeties and your favourite inspirational movie (mine has always been Bend It Like Beckham, despite not ever having played soccer in my life - it’s just a really encouraging film).

Words by Jess Nicole

WHAT’S ON

THE COFFEE POT If The Coffee Pot was a television series it would be Boardwalk Empire. Waistcoats, pocket watches and stiff drinks wouldn’t be out of place here. The Coffee Pot is a venue that time hasn’t touched. The stained glass, rouge blinds, newspaper reader, leather booths, gold leaf wallpaper, vintage lamps and wooden panels are all reminiscent of the charming tea and coffee house it used to be in the 1980s and early 1990s. It was the place to be after shows and shopping, and at one point it was rumoured to have been a goth hangout. Surprisingly, the hidey-hole located upstairs in James Place collected dust for quite some time with its doors remaining closed to the public for 12 years. “It was basically just broken furniture [and] one dead pigeon,” says Bryan Lynagh who reopened The Coffee Pot as a speakeasy style bar with his partner Cassandra Tombs. The Coffee Pot is wildly out of date which is possibly its best quality. It is a romantic, charming and cozy time capsule perfect for traditional boutique bar drinks with a few friends. But you’re not just going to go there for the drinks. The Coffee Pot “has a strong cultural muscle” Bryan says. It features jazz, acoustic blues, jam nights and one-off events like book launches, writing workshops and spoken word events. On Wednesdays, courtesy of Bryan, there are ‘Kate Bush Wednesdays’ where entire vinyl records play through hard rubbish speakers. As venue operators for the Fringe Festival for ten years through Tuxedo Cat, Bryan and Cassandra brought the Fringe to The

Coffee Pot this year using their second level room as a gallery and DIY theatre space. During this time it also hosted ‘Twin Peaks Sundays’ also knows as ‘Pint and Parma’ where people drew Laura Parma and exhibited it. On this fact alone, The Coffee Pot is all the more endearing and eccentric. It is probably fair to say that Adelaide folk take a while to skip tradition and try out a new place; it’s very tempting to settle on a habit of going to the Exeter with your friends rather than taking a chance to find something different. However, what The Coffee Pot has over most pubs and clubs is character. The photo you see here does not do this bar justice. It’s impossible to capture the nostalgic and rich feeling you get when visiting The Coffee Pot. So, I encourage you to grab your partner or a couple of friends and drop by with plans to settle. Oh, and pinch the balcony booth - it’ a killer position to watch the bands. PERKS: $5 beer, free wifi and rarely a drinks cue. DEETS: The Coffee Pot Level 1, 27 Rundle Mall, Adelaide SA 5000 Tues-Sun 3pm-late fb.com/thecoffeepot

Words by Jess Nicole

QUADRIVIUM Quadrivum is an emerging Adelaide Jazz band full of class and upbeat sway. Active in the music scene through his studies and The Coffee Pot, pianist Josh Moorhouse speaks to ET about Jazz as an emotional outlet, getting involved and creating honest music. Who is Quadrivium and what instrument do you each play? Quadrivium is made up of Josh Moorhouse on piano, Matt Oulton on sax, Declan Horan on double bass and our drummer Jim Glaister. Do you all study? If so, what degrees? We’re all currently studying a Bachelor in Music at the Elder Conservatorium of Music, specialising in Jazz Performance. Who introduced you to jazz music? Years ago the keyboardist from Babylon Burning (an Adelaide Reggae band) introduced me to improvising over the ‘Hit The Road, Jack’ chord progression. It was all I knew about improvising until I studied music at Noarlunga TAFE. It wasn’t until studying at the Con’ that I really had a true exposure to Jazz music.! How did you decide on the name of your band? I wanted something that had meaning. In Latin, Quadrivium translates to ‘where four separate paths meet together.’ As a collective, what interests you most about jazz music? The freedom. Jazz creates a platform for an artist to truly express what he/she knows, hears and feels, into something conversational, whether it’s with other band members or with the audience. It’s just a lot of fun - it allows the musician to be stimulated mentally as well as emotionally. Do you have a favourite cover to perform? ‘The Groove Merchant’! Many gigs we’ve played have seen some local musicians come and play with us on that song. Do you have any inspirations for your music? If so, who or what and how have they inspired you? Listening and learning from recordings is the best way to learn and grow as a musician. Learning the musical language and style, and then allowing your own personality to come through in the music is deeply important. Lately though I’ve been more in

tune with my emotions, and seeing/hearing them come through in my music has been really nice. You can draw inspiration from anything if you allow yourself to. How long have you been playing at The Coffee Pot? Six months now and it feels like time has really flown. We celebrated recently with a really great SA vocalist Laura Zubreckyj. The venue reached full capacity and we all had the best time! How did you get involved with playing at The Coffee Pot? One night in the city I saw an old TAFE friend dressed in a suit. At the time I thought it was pretty out of character so I approached him and asked him what he was up to. He let me know he was helping to run a really cool new venue on Rundle Mall that was in need of some music. We started the residency the following week and have been playing there ever since! How do you feel when you go on stage? Usually, just a general mix of how I might have been feeling during that day/week. When I play I just try to be in the moment so I can create something honest. In your opinion, what is the jazz scene like in Adelaide? It’s growing. There is some really world-class music happening at our fingertips. Venues and musicians need to keep working together and people need to support local music. Go see a gig, talk to people, get amongst the scene and prepare to be blown away by what you’ve been missing out on. What are your hopes and aspirations for the band? We would like to frequent gigs in local venues more often and help the growth of an emerging music scene in a city with a growing culture. We want to help in transforming music into something that is easily accessible, creates a fun atmosphere and brings people together. s

Quadrivium @ The Coffee Pot 7:30pm til late fb.com/QuadriviumMusic

ET TEAM; 2015 Students shouldn’t be defined by their degrees. They should be given the opportunity to express themselves through alternative ways and be exposed to alternative views that allow them to develop as people, not just as students. You are more than your FAN. We want to be the editors that give you the megaphone, that help you write the article you always wanted to read, and showcase your talents to inspire others. You can be more. Our team has the depth of experience to ensure that your voice will be heard. Loudly.

JADE Alter-Ego: The Spadinator Alignment: Neutral Good Familiar: The Dalai Llama Special Power: The ability to recite every episode of Big Bang Theory Personal Kryptonite: Coke Bad Habit: Hunger Games enthusiast Theme Song: “It’s Nice to Be Alive” - Ball Park Music Catch Phrase: “When in doubt, dance it out” Superhero Skills: 2014 Editor of ET Extreme dance skills

JESS Alter-Ego: George Costanza Alignment: Chaotic Good Familiar: Squirtle Special Power: Weirdo magnet Personal Kryptonite: Nicholas Cage bathing in nachos Bad Habit: Oversharing on Facebook Theme Song: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” - Cindy Lauper Catch Phrase: “Nap time” Superhero Skills: 2014 Editor of ET Can deliver up a delicious compliment sandwich

JEN Alter-Ego: The Hovercraft Alignment: Lawful Good Familiar: A coal puff from Spirited Away Special Power: Vintage hair in seconds! Personal Kryptonite: Migraine headaches Bad Habit: Blanket thief Theme Song: “Just Because You Can” - Catherine Russell Catch Phrase: “No….just…just no.” Superhero Skills: Beginner’s Luck Facebook Detective Skills