Empire Times 42.10 by FUSA Association

EMPIRE TIMES YOUR

FINALEs

STUDENT MAG

42.10

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- Editorial -

Hello you beautiful people!

Hey everyone,

It is a very bittersweet moment as I sit here and write this to you. It is devastating to think that I won’t be sitting here again, writing to you and working on another issue of ET but I guess I also feel excitement that in a matter of weeks, I will be graduating and going out and finding a real adult job, in the big wide world.

The year has passed by in a puff of air. How do you say goodbye to something that’s brought you so much joy? In this being my last edition of ET, I’m about to find out.

When all good things come to an end it is important to reflect on the year that was. This year ET has achieved some remarkable feats. We have been inundated with submissions this year, uncovered some extraordinary artists and tried to foster an environment where writers new and seasoned feel like they can express themselves. This year I have had the opportunity to work with some gorgeous people. I was also lucky enough to call my fellow editors friends, and I now think of them as vital parts of my life. Helping me, inspiring me and forcing me to do better. I could never have prepared for how completely and utterly ET can change your life, but I am so thankful that it did. And finally I just wanted to say thank you, lovely readers! Thank you for reading beyond the pages of my travel tangents and self-indulgent musings, and exploring the pages of ET to find the beautiful, the wacky and the insightful. You may not have enjoyed every article but if even one made you think or question what you already believed in, then I have done my job. For those graduating, congratulations, and for all those coming back next year, good luck!

I first started writing for ET in the first edition of its revival in 2013 and it was such a buzz. Originally petrified of writing sub par pieces that would filter into a pool of rejection, when I was accepted as a contributor a huge wave of confidence hit me and I haven’t looked back since. ET is the most responsibility anyone has entrusted me with—this being surprising since I think ricey puffs are a valid dinner option and at eight I hissed at other children. Being part of such a creative, diverse and highly supportive community has been a privilege, and one that not everyone gets to experience. For that, I am very lucky. A huge thank you, can-I-buy-you-coffee for everyone who has supported what has been a monumental few years. ET is here for you guys, and it’s in you that we trust ET—so keep talking, keep fighting and keep being creative. It’s been swell! Jess* *It’s best not to imagine me listening to a sad, shitty graduation song and self-indulgently crying into a packet of discontinued Toobs after I wrote this (even though that’s the reality).

Much love Laura

Well here we are, in the final issue for the year. It’s hard to believe that this is the end, but here it is. The grand finale. The final countdown (throws playing cards). The end times. And thank god. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been an amazing year of new experiences, new friends, new lessons learnt, but man was it exhausting. But now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel; Christmas, New Years, avoiding many months of searing heat by hiding away in ice caves as I pray for winter. If I had the cash, I would ensure I spent every summer abroad, enjoying an icy winter. I’m definitely not a beach person and the sun is my natural enemy, but at least the end of year break will give all of us, something we have so little of during semester; time. Time to pursue our hobbies, our pet projects, our true passions. Time to see long-neglected family and friends. Time to make memories. Also time to work and earn some real cash in those Christmashire summer jobs, if you’re lucky enough to have landed in one of those. One thing I’m constantly told by full-time workers is how lucky we are, as students, to have so much free time. Sure, they usually use phrases like ‘lazy’ and ‘time wasters’, but really their bitterness is just masking their jealousy. They wish they could have three months off too. So if you have the luxury of free time, do yourself a favour and make the most of it; learn a new skill, get stuck into that reading pile, have a summer romance, or, if you’re like me and have extended your studies for another 8 months, get cracking on that thesis; but remember to take a break now and then. Happy holidays and see you next year! Simone

TOP PICKS FOR THIS ISSUE

p. 26 p. 8 p. 14 p. 22

p. 13 p. 16 p. 18 p. 37

p. 10 p. 18 p. 29 p. 38

Lest We Forget Politik Accidental Discharge Eds on Eds

Openly Sexual Feminism Get Smart VOX POP: Voice of the columnists

Denying Domestic Violence Get Smart Musings of an Almost Graduate Dead City

OH HELLO there. EDITORS Jess Nicole Laura Telford Simone Corletto

SUB-EDITORS Jess Miller Tamsin Alexander Kayla Gaskell Liam McNally Anupol Bordoloi Riana Kinlough

COLUMNISTS Emma Cresdee Jonno Revanche Emma Sachsse Kaisha Wyld Eleanor Danenberg Karen Smart Kelly Guthberlet Kevin Clark Aden Beaver Bethany Lawrence

FINALES ISSUE

Issue 10 Vol 42 October 2015 empire.times@flinders.edu.au www.empiretimes.com.au Advertising: stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au Empire Times is the student publication of Flinders University. All work within remains the property of the producers and may not be reproduced without their consent. Empire Times reserves the right to republish in any format. Empire Times would like to acknowledge the Kaurna people who are the traditional custodians of the land Flinders University is situated on. We would also like to pay our respects to the elders past and present of the Kaurna nation and extend that respect to other Aboriginal peoples. ‘The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the editors, Flinders University, or Flinders University Student Association. Reasonable care is taken to ensure that Empire Times articles and other information are upto-date and as accurate as possible, as of the time of publication, but no responsibility can be taken by Empire Times Magazine for any errors or omissions contained herein.’

ILLUSTRATORS

FRONT COVER

Sheydin Dew Aden Beaver Amber Hall Benjamin Hall

INNER FRONT COVER

CONTRIBUTORS

BACK COVER

James Vigus Laura Telford Jess Nicole Liam McNally Tamsin Alexander Elle Void Simone Corletto Cameron Lowe Catherine Wagg Sarah Barrett Emma Hobbs Christine Bennetts Kayla Gaskell Kirsty van der Veer Leeza von Alpen Marithe Solis Jess Miller Anthony Bruno

Sheydin Dew

Amber Hall

Benjamin Hall

FUCK YEAHS • • • •

To all those who are finishing their degrees this year—FUCK YEAH! Summer holidays CHRISTMAS IS UPON US!!! The new year is here, and with it, comes new possibilities

WITH THANKS TO The FUSA staff for helping and supporting us—they have cheered us on from the start. The subbies, columnists, feature writers, artists, sometimes and one-time contributors and readers for their hard work, creativity and passion. We love and will miss you all.

Index INTRO

FEATURES

CREATIVE

EDITORIAL Words from the Editors

INTERVIEW WITH SC Catherine Wagg

FICTION Courtship and a Caterpillar

PREZ DISPENSER A message from the President

ENDING THE SEMESTER

FICTION Dead City

SEXUAL HARASSMENT When a Night out turns UGLY

EDS ON EDS Goodbye from your Editors

42 POETRY Phantom Pain, Morning Approaches, Dear Someone, Headstone

BEST TEACHER Voice of the people

COLUMNS 7 TECHNOLOGICA The End of Time 8 POLITIK How much public consultation do we need? 10 EQUALITY Denying Domestic Violence 13 OPENLY SEXUAL Thanks for the good times 14 WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT Accidental Discharge 17 FEMINISM What I have learned

LEST WE FORGET Remembrance Day

MUSINGS OF A SOON TO BE GRADUATE

VOX POPS Voice of the columnists

SO YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW ENDED NOW WHAT?

44 CROSSWORD Win movie tickets! 48 QUIZ Which video game do you belong in?

How to get by during the hardest times...

GET SMART Expert More

TV REVIEW Hannibal

LEVEL UP The end of the world as we know it

TV REVIEW Mr Robot

MUSIC This year in music: best albums

FOOD Spats Coffee Lounge

MUSIC Northlane//Node

Which Ending do you deserve? 49

FUN STUFF

26 46

Prez Dispenser

The Student Council President (“Prez”) is the official spokesperson of students and the Student Council. They make representations on behalf of students to the university, media, government, and external organisations.

James Vigus As we approach the end of the year, the world watches a desperate movement of humanity, with people running from Syria for their lives, seeking freedom for themselves and their families. Military conflict has forced millions to flee from Syria into surrounding countries and further afield across Europe in the hope of sanctuary. On their journey, most of the refugees remain stuck in neighbouring countries, ‘housed’ in vast refugee compounds in tents or other makeshift shelters that amass into sprawling informal cities. In some cases they are treated like caged animals with scarce food being tossed over fences by foreign police to these suffering people. These desperate people’s lives are now marred by insecurity, without rights to work or education and with little hope for the future. Media has focused on the wave of humanity seeking asylum in Europe, but most refugees are also in Turkey, Pakistan, Lebanon and Iran. Refugee policy ought to be driven by human solidarity, generosity and profound respect for those who have escaped persecution and attempted to save their own and their family’s lives. In Australia, the overall policy situation facing many refugees is even worse. Whilst a select few are allowed entry on humanitarian visas—when they arrive, instead of being welcomed, refugees are met with even more oppression. Of course, many refugees are still languishing in cruel offshore concentration camps in Nauru and Manus Island—the hopeless scapegoats of the ‘stop the boats’ crusade.

The language of the Australian Government is all focused around the military needing to ‘protect’ the borders. Those in power want us to believe that this is all about keeping us safe, and (patronisingly) keeping refugees safe too. It’s a farce. It’s little wonder that racism is alive and well in Australia, and discrimination impacts new arrivals in all facets of life. For example, refugees on a Bridging Visa or TPV who live in our community on highly restricted terms—with no hope of permanent resettlement—stand before a cliff-face when it comes to studying at a university. They can often finish school, and in many cases gain the entrance scores to go to university. However, they are told they must pay fees up-front and in full. But how can you do this when you are not allowed to work, and can only rely on a measly Centrelink pension (less than the dole)? It is a trap; it is discrimination. The government spends more than $8 billion annually on its cruel refugee policies. This money could be spent on funding our education system and building new public housing or massively upgrading our public transport systems. It could also go to providing a decent, dignified life for refugees at a fraction of the cost of the current cruel regime. Australia is the only country in the world with a policy of mandatory and indefinite detention for all ‘unauthorised arrivals’. It wasn’t always this way. Between 1948 and 1992, Australia resettled 452,000 refugees. All were processed in the community. It wasn’t until the Keating Labor government that the descent into barbarism started.

During the conservative Fraser Liberal government of the mid-1970s, tens of thousands of Vietnamese asylum seekers were brought to Australia. They weren’t detained but housed in transitional hostels. Thousands who did arrive in Australia by boat were, for the most part, housed in migrant hostels. Here they could access free english classes, financial support and trauma counselling. Nurses were on site and doctors visited regularly. At the Maribrynong Migrant Hostel in Melbourne there was a childcare centre, grassy areas and a sandpit for children. Many of the outside walls were decorated with murals—windmills and tulips by Dutch migrants and an Asian scene painted by Vietnamese migrants to make the surroundings more hospitable. Most importantly, they had freedom of movement and the right to work. In the current refugee crisis it’s time that our university administration created full scholarships for refugees on Bridging Visas and TPVs to study at Flinders University. Our university educates many students from various backgrounds from all over the world. It is time Flinders makes provision for some of the most desperate refugees living in our community to enroll as students. Flinders University needs to sign up to be a Refugee Welcome Zone with the Refugee Council of Australia and set up at least four full scholarships for refugees on Bridging Visas or TPVs who are currently in Australia. There are many in this situation, and another batch will be finishing years 12 this year and hoping for a chance to go to uni. We have an opportunity to help, and we must. - James Vigus, Student Council President

INTERVIEW WITH COUNCIL: General Member

Catherine Wagg Why did you run for Student Council? I ran for Student Council because I saw it as a way to really get involved in university life. I thought it would give me an opportunity to help make the university experience better for other students as well as myself. University should not just be about study, it should also be an experience and a part of students’ lives that they enjoy. I also saw many issues around campus that didn’t seem to be getting addressed. What kind of issues does a General Member of SC handle? A General Member of SC handles any issue they wish to get their hands on. We work alongside the office bearers and staff and help out where needed. We are also encouraged to come up with our own ideas around campus and because we don’t have a portfolio, this can be basically anything. What kind of things have you done as a General Member? I have helped out with many different events around campus. I have worked closely with Caleb, the Education Officer. So, I have worked on things such as various surveys, Super Tuesday (where we attempted to start 5 school associations, 3 being successful) and National Day of Actions (NDAs) which hosted by FUSA on behalf of the National Union of Students (NUS) as a reaction to various Government proposals impacting on students. I also helped out with other events such as NAIDOC celebrations, the Multicultural Festival and the Second Semester FUSA Pub Crawl. The exorbitant price of textbooks has long been an issue I have faced at uni, spending over $400 each semester on textbooks myself. Such an issue takes its toll on student welfare. Therefore, Student Council and FUSA had a textbook sale at the start of Semester 2 this year and there are discussions about what we can be done in the future. What are some of the issues you think are important to begin/continue tackling for next year? For next year, I think we need to focus more on inclusion.

It has been a challenge—particularly without the use of the Plaza this year—to get people involved on campus outside of their classes. However, I believe that with the new student hub, we will be able to get more people involved in uni life outside of study and socialising with others in similar circumstances. We need to focus on mature age students, those with kids and international students. I have been fortunate enough to talk to many students with these circumstances and from these backgrounds and they have reported that they often feel that the events on offer do not appeal to them. What has your experience been like as a General Member? My experience as a General Member has been really positive. I feel as though I have been able to make a difference, even if it has been small. I have been supported by many people, both on Student Council and others around the university. Do you have people contact you as a General Member and if so, why? I have had a few people contact me directly as a General Member. These are often people that I already know, and who have a problem around campus. Sometimes it is just a question about what’s happening regarding an issue but other times they raise a concern that they want dealt with. I have had people asking about the possibility of a second hand textbook sale as well as various events that FUSA are holding. I have also had people raise their concerns about people smoking in non-smoking areas, which I then raised with Student Council as a student issue. More importantly, though, I have had the opportunity to speak with a variety of students at various events and BBQs in person. In informal settings such as these, students will often raise their concerns about the university and what they want to see around campus (more free food anyone?).

technologica The End of Time Do you remember Y2K? I don’t. I was five years old at the time and probably just excited about the fireworks, but I have certainly heard of it. People are often happy to laugh about how worried everyone seemed and how it turned to not be an issue. However, those people are wrong—while it wasn’t as dire as everyone predicted, Y2K still caused some issues across the globe, including the blackout of a CIA satellite for three days. This may not seem like much, especially as most of the worry seemed overrated, but the CIA weren’t the only ones to have problems. Other ‘disasters’ ranged from the trivial, such as slot machines malfunctioning in Delaware, to the concerning, with malfunctioning radiation alarms in Japan. They also included some heartbreaking, multi-million dollar lawsuits when 154 expectant mothers incorrectly received positive Down Syndrome test results, and at least two of the expectant mothers chose abortions. Even with these errors aside, it is estimated that up to 300 billion US dollars were spent mitigating any potential Y2K risk. The reason is fairly trivial; the dates in many computer systems were only storing two digits, so computers got confused by 00 (for 2000), some thinking they had travelled back to 00 (for 1900). Whenever someone tells me computers are smart, knowing that we haven’t yet reached the singularity, I remind them that, at best, they are only as smart as the teams of people developing them, until you give them an unexpected problem to solve. At that point, at best, they simply act confused or find a way to temporarily ignore the problem. Much of it comes down to the really fine details, like the number of digits they have to store dates in. The number of digits used isn’t the only way a date can be stored differently. Another example is the numbering system used. When counting, normal people use base 10, that is we start at 1 and then after 9 we add an extra 10s digit. Computers use base 2, so after the number 1 they add a 10s digit. Some systems use base 16, or hexidecimal, where after 9, you have the digits a—and after f you get 10. While many phones and similar communications system have agreed upon decimal (base 10) for their date communication, some use hexidecimal, including early Windows phones. For this reason, when we reached 2010,

some phones were confused and thought that cell towers were telling them that it was 2016 already. In some regards, Windows can sometimes be ahead of the times, even in today’ mobile markets. Y2K was an issue because of two numbers that, when written down in a certain way, looked the same. In 2038 we could be facing a similar issue, with many computers being based off the same operating system (called UNIX) which uses a date system which ends then. Like Y2K, the consequences for each computer may vary, however, if this is left unaddressed we can certainly expect to see, or at least read reports on, some levels of disruption. After all, who isn’t going to write about the end of time? If the consistent passage of time wasn’t causing enough problems, the earth’s rotation sometimes alters slightly: changing how different units of time should be measured in the first place. Unlike the ever-predictable leap years, this is hard to know too far in advance, which has led to the development of an international body who meet semi-annually to decide whether or not we need a leap second. That is, whether or not the time we all accept as accurate has drifted one second off of the actual time according to earth’s position relative to the sun. Since 1970, there have been 26 leap seconds added to the official international time. Most computers are not affected by this—if your laptop is a second out it will simply update itself to the internet-displayed time. Additionally, even if most systems weren’t updated, a one second perceived delay is not enough to cause more than the very rare issue for many systems. However, ‘many’ is not all. In 2012, QANTAS, Reddit, Linked In and other companies had issues with the leap second, requiring the former to check in passengers by hand while the IT staff worked on the issue. Having learnt their lessons, 2015’s leap second caused far fewer issues, but given their irregularity it may only be a case of several years break before the computing community is caught out by another leap second. AUTHOR Kevin Clark, 21, Bachelor of Engineering (Software) The hardest thing for Kevin to say goodbye to is his bed on Monday morning.

Politik

How much consultation do we need?

Australia is a representative democracy which means that other than the election for our local members and senators, we don’t really get to vote on anything else, apart from the rare referendum, or plebiscite (basically a huge national poll that the government doesn’t have to listen to anyway in the end). There has been a lot of talk and questions raised of late about the current public consultation process, and about just how engaged voters and the wider public in general are. The general consensus is that yes, we should be increasingly consulted as a community on the actions and policies of government, as a natural evolution into a more democratic society. The Abbot government led a captains call government, where consultation was the last concern on their list. Hockey and Abbott constantly proved their adversity to consultation through the 2014 budget where, multiple policy initiatives came as complete shock to the public and interested parties. Continually through Abbott’s leadership he made his famous captains pick such as reintroducing Knights and Dames, and then choosing to Knight Prince phillip, and banning his front bench from appearing on Q&A. This was a sign of a leader who did not listen to his own party let alone the public. Malcolm Turnbull now in the top job has vowed to lead a consultative cabinet government, whilst it seems as he refers at least to consulting his own party on decisions as the first among equals, rather than Abbott’s attitude of the first and only, it will remain to be seem how far that consultation will extend to the public. A more democratic society would mean involving the public in political decisions. This could happen traditionally through an increase in plebiscites and referendums, but with this comes a lot more expenditure and time, and paperwork. Moving to a presidential system could bring about an increased connection between voter and leader. However, this would, without any other structures, also result in a leader removed from party discipline, and after being elected, removed from public responsibility as they can claim to speak for the public that voted them in. Whilst a presidential system may sound as if it contains more consultation and connection with the public it is not necessarily the case, and if imputed into our Australian model of government could create frictions, when the executive is removed from the legislative and therefore not accountable to it. So if becoming a more democratic society doesn’t directly mean changing to a presidential system of government what else can it mean? Those who are die hard political groupies with strong ties to a party can engage easily enough with their chosen party by becoming a member, attending events and participating in partywide votes, such as positions on social policy like gay marraige. The real place where community and civic engagement can occur, I believe, is within public policy. Community engagement can be a range of things from being informed about issues though government information websites, pamphlets, or sessions, to attending forums held by the government, to volunteering at community events, to being apart of a citizens jury in which, policy engagement is at a peak. It is when, during policy development, the community that is directly affected by the particular policy is engaged in the decision making, that creates the best results. This already happens especially in cases where a local community is affected by a particular issue, such as the building of a new road, such as the darlington upgrade, or when an environmental issues is impacting a local community such as chemicals found in the soil. In South Australia the department of Communities and Social Inclusion, is one of the main sources where community engagement is facilitated. Active citizenship is a term used to describe an engaged society in policy development, one where citizens take an active rather than passive role in the community and policy development. Strong communities are often able to create the best policy outcomes for such a community and are actively engaged the process and implementation of policy which in turn gives them ownership of the problems and solutions. When this happens you have a community that is invested in the outcome and implementation

of the particular policy. This is often seen in community groups disassociated with government such as football clubs, cultural clubs where the aim is to bring this same engagement with government in developing policy affecting a community on a larger scale. Community engagement has many positives when policy engagement is done effectively and when there is a particular community concerned, however, it becomes trickier once larger communities are affected and when policies become more complex. Governments are recognising the benefits of public consultation in policy making such as community ownership, increased compliance with new policies introduced, increased credibility and legitimacy of the policy because of the community support and involvement, a development of a variety of policy options through more ideas being filtered, and decreased policy transition costs, which are the costs associated with educating, and making the public compliant with a new policy; and thus employing consultation in order to reap the rewards. However, if done poorly, or if employed in a tokenistic fashion, public consultation can produce negative results such as a distrust of government, resistance to policy change, high costs of consultation, and undermines policy. This was apparent in a lot of the policies introduced in Hockey and Abbott’s first budget, where the public was not properly informed or consulted about the drastic changes that were to be introduced. This meant a very negative and defensive reaction against the policies deemed unfair, which ultimately blocked a lot of the measures through the senate, and perhaps more accurately reflected the publics opinion. So therein lies the problems when discussing public consultation, to ensure the best results possible maximum effort and care with community engagement must be taken. It is important to chose policies where community engagement can have the most impact, and where communities feel as through their recommendations are valued and incorporated into the ultimate policy. It is also important not to over burden a particular group or groups with continued consultation, which could tire the community out and lead to a lack of motivation from the community to be involved. Community engagement can look like public forums, polling, information sessions, focus groups, citizen juries, and, as the most extreme form, referenda. An important part of community engagement is an informed community. Whilst this is idealistically a great thing, it takes a community willing to engage with government, and one willing to become informed in the policies of the day. This is possible in Australia as long as we continue to recognise the importance of our civic duties, and do not crumble to the shallow likes of the 24 hour news cycle. Malcolm Turnbull, has vowed to take Australians with him and have rational adult conversations on the complex policies and steps his government want to take. This is a great sign that community consultation will continue to grow as an aspect of policy development, creating ultimately a more democratic society. Jay Weatherill has also expressed great interest in civic engagement and has created a citizens jury which has tackled issues such as dog and cat management and sharing the roads safely. So as a strong believer in active and informed citizenship, I encourage you all to find ways to be involved with your government, even if it is as simple as becoming informed on parties policies before it comes time to vote; or as complex as being involved in groups lobbying government about policy. Australians are some of the luckiest people in the world to be able to engage with politics and government as much as we can so we should embrace the opportunities to create an even better more democratic, more informed society. AUTHOR Emma Cresdee, 20, Bachelor of Arts

Emma says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is family and friends at the airport!

- Equality -

Denying Domestic Opinions by Jonno Revanche During the middle of last year, Lana Del Rey released her second album and people jumped to criticise it, specifically complaining that they found disturbing content in the lyrics of the title track ‘Ultraviolence’. Repeated in the chorus with a morbid refrain, the words “he hit me and it felt like a kiss” ring out like a death knell. They are uttered so softly and longingly that you would think that was what exactly Lana had wanted—that she really wanted to be hit, that nothing could be more delightful to be struck by the person who claims to love you. Ever since the beginning of her mainstream debut (around 2011) rumours and criticisms of Lana Del Rey have been abundant. Controversy and popular music in America goes hand in hand, it seems, and here we catch them at play again. Perhaps the delivery, not the content, then, was the cause of all the commotion. Out of that song came a million text posts, tumblr arguments, tweets, and debates fired off at each other in the digital world. Lana was, however, appropriating the lyrics from the song ‘He Hit Me and it Felt Like a Kiss’ by The Crystals. Courtney Love, who is now friends with Lana Del Rey and has toured with her, has unsurprisingly covered this Crystals song. This context is important to remember, because it indicates a sense of irony and selfknowingness. I suppose that means nothing when you have a thousand critics at your throat, braying for blood. The song ‘Ultraviolence’ has perhaps rightfully attracted criticism from those who have been the survivors of domestic violence. How dare she? How on earth did that get past the filters? And why does she think it’s okay to speak about a topic in such a way? As a survivor of partner violence and emotional abuse, I completely understand these complaints, but at the same time I still think it is well within her right to sing those lyrics. I think domestic violence is complex and speaking about the way you approached it during the relationship is a brave thing to

do, even if it seems that you’re romanticising it because, well, that’s a common coping mechanism. Of course domestic violence isn’t romantic—but when it happens to you, do you have any other choice except to perceive it that way? I do think singing those words of my own accord, completely unironically, would take a great deal of separation from my life and experiences. I admittedly still love Del Ray no matter how stupid she is occasionally, and how horrible that Ride video was. (In this instance I’m referring to that scene with her wearing a Native American headdress. Girl, you could’ve done better.) Respecting the survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse (who are more frequently affected by PTSD than soldiers) means respecting the way they craft their narratives. Some of us deal with our trauma in ways that are healthy and understandable, and are commended by trained psychiatrists. Some of us tackle our issues head on and deal with them, and try to find peace with ourselves. Some of us choose to use recreational drugs or engage in self-destructive sexual behaviour. After trauma, our agency and sense of right and wrong is compromised. Our concept of what is good for us is often rightfully damaged, because after trauma, the brain is biologically and metaphysically different. If Del Ray has been affected by something like partner violence, detailing her feelings and thoughts at the time of the event should be something she’s allowed to do. If we’re being honest, this may be a healthier tactic than ignoring it altogether, which we know would probably hurt her more in the long run. Telling girls that they are ‘romanticising’ their abuse or mental illness is really not a valid criticism and might actually be a way to silence them from speaking about their experiences. They’re the ones living it. And a lot of the time, these critics are more annoyed that women are expressing the things they’ve been told they’re not allowed to express. A lot of the time, victims are just telling it like it

- Equality -

Violence is. They’re telling their side of the story, how they interpreted that love at the time. When we are within a loving relationship that turns abusive, we often still hold that romance deep in our hearts. This is one of the very foundations of abuse. How could someone we love truly hurt us so much? It’s one of the reasons we don’t realise what is happening until too late. There is a suspension of belief, and we can either choose to accept the unspeakably horrible or stay entrenched in a problematic romance. How can it not be romanticised? To use this criticism undervalues and misunderstands the very conduct of manipulative and narcissistic men, and the effects their actions and words have on us. It also removes the responsibility from male artists like Eminem who glorify male anger and violence. Critics of LDR’s Del Ray oeuvre may suggest she is ‘attention seeking’ or being overdramatic, or making light of something that is inherently serious. These same critiques are also directed towards women who accuse men of raping them as a scapegoat to detract from what has actually happened. All of these reactions are intertwined. It’s not a surprise that audiences have had a knee-jerk reaction to Lana Del Rey’s music. Normally, we don’t have to face extreme or intense emotion from women, so when we are finally forced to be put into a position where that is necessary, we take any option necessary to not address it and to lay blame elsewhere. I am not only concerned with survivors speaking out about their stories and creating their own version of events in order to survive, comprehend and recover from violence. I am also concerned that songs like this, and ‘Me and a Gun’ by Tori Amos for example, as they are often (but not always— consider the protest of Chris Brown’s entry to Australia) more outrageous to people than the fact that Eminem and Chris Brown, both convicted partner violence offenders, regularly receive air time. In fact, I’d be willing to bet both of them have received more

airtime than Tori and Lana ever have. What this is telling us is that to live through sexual abuse, assault, and violence of any kind means that you are going to be seen as dirty and frightening for talking about it. Our culture is such that by admitting to being abused, you are considered the weak, filthy, unfortunate beggar who has been desecrated by unfortunate circumstances. At best, you were ‘asking for it’ (I mentioned Courtney Love earlier in this article, and here I am again, trying my hardest to resist referencing her work). You’re going to break the status quo in a way that is going to make a lot of people uncomfortable; because to speak about male violence is to speak about toxic masculinity, and toxic masculinity runs the whole fucking world. It is a central cog in the machine that is capitalism, hegemony, and colonialism. Violent and abusive men are not cast-offs from a society that values domination and lack of empathy. In fact, these men are the desired product and successful creation of it. The men who have escaped the cultural conditioning forced upon them, who have strong values about women and who listen to them, respect them and practice kindness, are unfortunately anomalies. In our culture, women (as well as LGBTQIA people) who are strong willed, who speak up for themselves, and relay their stories even in a way that is reasonable and understandable, are still marketed by the media as crazy or unreasonable spirits. Their emotions have been sewn into the fabric of our societal consciousness on the same path that we see, well, children. This has been present seemingly since the dawn of western civilisation, and progress is happening all too slowly. It is the men who talk about ‘edgy’ topics who are seen as geniuses. Eminem regularly writes raps about abusing women and hurting them and Rolling Stone give it five stars. Chris Brown is regularly featured on top 40 songs, given money to perform to large crowds of people, and given airtime on the radio. In alternative music

scenes, I see men who have been outed as abusers still booking shows, receiving accolades, and going about the world freely with no care for their victims. Basically, we’re being taught that male violence and manipulation is not as common as it is, or e are taught that it does not intersect with our day-to-day life, or that it shouldn’t affect an abusers personal life or career, that it is some unseen monster lurking in the shadows. This is an extreme falsehood. It is extremely common, as almost any non-man can attest. Little parts of it linger in all the men we know because controlling and manipulative men are seen as being essential to run this world. These patterns continue endlessly in our culture. Consider how Ke$ha cannot produce music now because her producer (who she accused of sexually abusing her) has her under contractual obligation, or the relentless denial of Bill Cosby’s sexually abusive behaviour despite the great number of women who have spoken up about it. I ask you to look within yourself and see whether you have questioned the legitimacy of sexual abuse claims or belittled a woman who spoke about her experiences. I ask whether you have said that it ‘isn’t important’ to think about these things, despite the fact that I do not know one woman who has not been abused, harassed, or cheated on. Your answers are important, because even though the examples I give appear in popular culture, they are happening all over the world. The best thing I can say to everyone I know is this: no man, especially the ‘good ones’ ,should be passive while an epidemic of violence against women continues. It is their responsibility above all others to interrupt this culture of violence, speak up against violence when they see it, and use their privilege for the good of the women, and non-men, most affected by it. AUTHOR Jonno Revanche, 23, Graduate Diploma of Counselling

Jonno says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is a beautiful experience.

Ending the Semester

This issue is all about endings and I wanted to share a few of the endings that have been a part of my life. I turned 24 this year and I’ve done a lot of stuff this year that makes it one of my most successful years of my adult life so far; I’ve moved to a new house, started getting a few distinctions, made huge strides of personal development, started hormone replacement therapy, and made some new friendships. But sometimes endings can be just as important as beginnings. Ending things is sometimes easy, but often it’s hard. We fall into patterns of thinking and some actions become muscle memory and we stop even thinking about them. Have you ever tried to change your vocabulary? To change from saying ‘hey’ when you message your best friend to ‘hello’. Or to change from saying ‘awesome’ when something goes your way to ‘grouse’? It’s quite hard, but it is possible if you keep at it. Somehow the four letter acronym ‘lmao’ [laughing my ass off] made its way into my vocabulary (ironically, as in ‘lmao my life sux’) and I am doing everything I can to get it out (I have enough online slang in my vocabulary and I’d like to cut back), but it’s gotten harder to do because a few of my friends now use it. I’m also trying to end my use of ‘haha’ whenever I say anything in casual conversation. That’s going pretty terribly too. At the start of the year the relationship with my partner of over two and a half years ended. Unlike my break ups prior to this, it was not a bad ending, but more of a mutual ending as we

had drifted apart. Our relationship had been pretty great the whole time, but honestly it just wasn’t a perfect match. We’re both still pretty close friends and that’s probably the best part of our relationship anyway. But we had been drifting apart for a while and it was only a matter of time before it would end. I’ve also ended several friendships that weren’t healthy for me. This is one of the harder things I have had to do. I don’t like having people upset with me and in the past I have stayed friends with people who have been completely unhealthy for my mental health. But as a ‘new’ me, I have found the will to cut people from my life. Some people know why I have done so (such as the ex-friend I sent a pretty scathing message to, who was pro-Israel), and others less so (I tend to be pretty liberal with unfriending/unfollowing if people continue to perpetuate unhealthy stigmas after they’ve had people attempt to educate them). I quite recently ended a casual relationship with someone, because while the sex was not too bad (pretty average, but not especially bad), this person was not good for me at all. There was a lot of pressure for me to change things about myself, and they were not the best person to hold a conversation with over some topics (feminism, gender, and politics), which are quite important to me. I ended a subscription to one of my favourite Youtubers. Their opinions on many topics were absolutely on point,

and their videos on specific issues were extremely educational for me. They had recently been talking about an issue that is close to me and they were extremely biased in their handling of it and were completely closed to alternate opinions. I hate the idea of quitting things sometimes, but other times it’s a fantastic release. I can quit smoking whenever I want, but do I really want to, when it gives me this opportunity to spend more time with specific people? I’ve been through different stages of alcoholism over my adult life, and I think I’m pretty comfortable with being known to most of my friends as a ‘wine mum’. Sometimes my use of microblogging sites seemingly gets in the way of other more productive things, but I quite like how my tumblr looks. Maintaining some of my friendships from it requires a little bit of attention, and I don’t think it really has an impact on my uni work (not compared to other things anyway). I’m also pretty frugal with my money so my casual drug use means I can only do it if I really save up for it, so do I really need to quit smoking weed? I don’t think so, maybe once I graduate… AUTHOR

Elle Void, 23, Bachelor of Social Work

Elle says that the hardest thing to say goodbye to is the last mouthful of wine before payday.

OPENLY SEXUAL

THANKS FOR THE

GOOD TIMES Here are some things I hope you learnt from my time as your sex columnist:

Consent is so very important, not just to be a decent human being (only an arsehole ever has sex with someone who is too drunk to know what they are doing) but also because gaining clear consent will protect you from false (or even just confused or regretful) accusations that can ruin your entire life. Safe sex: there is no such thing as “too big” for a condom. Too diseased to fuck? Yes. But too big for a condom? No. Lesbians, yes the risk of disease is low for you guys but it is even lower with a dental dam—your choice. And for those of you that want to know whether rimming could lead to getting germs, well duh!

Porn: think about it the same way you should think about eating sugar— moderation is the key and the more natural and unprocessed it is the better. Too much of the same type and you might be doing yourself a disservice.

Penises: no, do not send pictures of them until someone specifically asks you for one. If you have a particularly small penis, learn how to give great head using your mouth and your fingers together. If you have a particularly big penis, the same applies. Oh, and no matter what the size, keep it clean because no one likes the smell of stale urine or sweaty balls.

Vaginas: well, they are not actually ‘vaginas’, they are vulvas. The vagina is just the inside (I know, I still call it a vagina too). Anyway, they are all very, very different, unique and a bit mysterious. We are all more comfortable and familiar with penises which I think is partly a trick of geography (well, anatomy really) since penises stick out. The vulva and the vagina are hidden. So the big tip is to look at some on the internet (not plastic porn ones as these are homogenised and unrealistic) and take a look at your own, get comfortable with it and be proud of it. If anyone has the temerity to insult your vulva, labia, clitoris or vagina in any way, they are the four letter word for that area. Stay away from them.

Labels suck and don’t adequately describe the full gamut of our diversity and experiences as sexual beings. A lesbian who has sex with a man is not any less of a lesbian than her lesbian peers just as a straight person who has a gay experience is not necessarily queer. At least there are a few more labels to choose from these days.. However there is still no need to let anyone else label you nor is there any rush to stick one on yourself. Fantasy life: I encourage everyone to have a healthy one as long as it doesn’t include thinking that first time sex will be amazing and won’t involve bumps, slips, trips and fanny farts. It takes practice, thought, and time and effort to get it right. We certainly don’t all have an innate knowledge of what to do and how to please our partners and what pleases us. Just because you are incredibly turned on by someone doesn’t mean you will magically do it “right”.

Education: we should all feel comfortable learning what we can, when we can. There are great books out there and some hilarious (yet surprisingly educational) ‘how to make love’ DVDs. Get online and order yourself some today or borrow them from the library. There may be an opening for the sex columnist next year so start researching—if not for you, for your fellow students. Just quickly…

n Slut shaming is bullshit—enjoy your sexuality and don’t presume to comment on other people’s. n Having an STD does not make you dirty

or mean that you are being punished for having fun. Just get it looked at and don’t pass it on. Especially if it is oozing.

n Virginity shouldn’t be romanticised. It

is an outdated, irrelevant concept, just ask a lesbian.

n Lube, always and forever, use lube. It is great stuff. Use the right type for the job, even if that means using Crisco.

n There is no such thing as “The One”. It takes time and work both finding and staying in a relationship. n Not having sex is a valid option. n Never let anyone say or do anything to you that you don’t feel comfortable with; at work or at a party, or in your loving relationship. Your body, your rules. n Only go to a sex party if it has high standards of admission and strict rules. n Love is not a good enough reason to stay with an arsehole/bitch. n Being single is totally okay and with the right attitude, lots of fun. n If you bonk celebrities, treat them like a valued human being, not a trophy. n Communicate about what you want, how you want it, what you feel, what you want to feel, what you like and what you don’t like. n Sex should always be enjoyable. It doesn’t have to be movie magic perfect but it should always be fun and pleasurable. nHave I mentioned safe sex? Well let me mention it again—have it. Thanks for reading, love yourself, touch yourself and be good to each other. I will miss this. Yours, Mistress M, aka Emma Sachsse

AUTHOR Emma Sachsse, 42, Bachelor of Psychology (Hons) Emma says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is the idealised expectations of where you should be by now.

- Feminism -

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT: ACCIDENTAL DISCHARGE MAGAZINE

- Feminism -

Independent Australian feminist magazine, Accidental Discharge, is the brainchild of 19-year-old Maile Bowen and 21-year-old Gemma Mahoney. It started out a year ago as a crowd-fund project by two girls who had yet to meet face-to-face, and today it is a magazine that sells Australia wide, and its third issue is currently in production; this promising and unique project has even had a documentary made on it.

Empire Times’ Eleanor Danenberg caught up with Maile and Gemma to find out what sets Accidental Discharge magazine apart from the rest. Tell us about your magazine’s name, Accidental Discharge? Maile: I decided on Accidental Discharge because my aim at the time was to create something that made people feel uncomfortable—and then question themselves on why they felt uncomfortable. There are so many parts of being a girl that girls are embarrassed about, and I aim to tackle those problems in the magazine, so the name had to do that as well. “Accidental Discharge is the event of a firearm discharge at a time not intended by the user” was the answer I found when I googled ‘Accidental Discharge’ nearly two years ago. It stuck with me because to me it meant two things; it made people stop, question, and think, and it also explains how I stumbled upon this whole idea: accidentally. Now, hopefully, it can explode into something bigger.

What inspired you to create your own magazine for girls and women? Maile: Growing up I felt there was a gap in magazines/media for myself, I was so heavily influenced by media and the way that I should be as a female. As I hit puberty, I hated myself and felt like I was never comfortable in my body; I never quite understood why until I was 17, and discovered feminism. I think a lot of the time so many young girls and guys feel confused about [themselves], because they are taught through media [how] they are meant to feel and think [and look]. I remember as a teenager getting on the bus to school realising I hadn’t shaved my underarms, when I was wearing a singlet, and just feeling so horrified. Another time [was] when a crow went through my bag at school and pulled a pad out. These are things that as soon as I was introduced to feminism, I didn’t feel so self conscious about. So when I turned 17 I had to choose a project to do for the duration of year 12 (as I went to an alternative school that focused on this project instead of end of year exams) I decided to spend the year creating something for my friends and the girls I saw growing up in the years below me; and that is how Accidental Dischargecame about.

I think in Australia, especially, we have such a large gap with arts, teenage-hood and feminism. So I wanted to start something like that here [in Australia]; at the time feminism hadn’t become [sensationalised] by the media so it was all a pretty new concept for my friends and I. The biggest inspiration for me was that whenever I heard a girl speak out and bring up certain issues, it was so powerful and influential to me; I wanted to create that feeling for every girl.

Tell us what we can expect from a flick through a copy of Accidental Discharge? Gemma: We hope that a quick flick through of Accidental Discharge will capture and intrigue the reader. We aim for every page to be interesting, unique and different. We intend to have a strong aesthetic that makes the pages an engaging and inspiring experience.

Do either of you have a favourite piece that you have published so far, and if so, what is it? Gemma: I personally really connected to the article I wrote called ‘Comfort in our home’ and the series of photos I created to accompany the words. This was a very personal and real experience between my friends and I. When we all let our guards down and finally saw each other topless we felt a great change in our friendships and confidence in ourselves. We all felt the change and I decided to document it. Publishing a feature on Sticks & Stones Agency (photographers/artists) and Courtney Barnett (musician/singer) feels amazing, it’s almost like, how? We feel so lucky.

The two most complained about TV ads of 2014 were by Carefree—who produce pads, tampons, and panty-liners. This degree of complaint and rejection clearly speaks to how periods are still a controversial topic today, and the same could also be said for the recent #FreeThePits movement on social media. Can you tell us how Accidental Discharge is working to break down stigmas around women’s bodies? Maile: When I turned 17 and began looking into feminism I found a couple of essays on body hair for women. It made me realise how young women are being socially constructed to believe that a ‘real’ and ‘beautiful’ woman is something altered. The fact that we place so much meaning on this ‘childlike look’ frightens me. Personally, I feel that this issue relates to every problem we have in the media with how women are portrayed—because frankly women aren’t [portrayed realistically]. For example, the [archetype of] the perfect woman is very thin, has a thigh gap, no pubic/underarm hair and obviously doesn’t bleed. All of these constructions are of a prepubescent girl and in my opinion our fixation on this endorses paedophilia in our society. Accidental Discharge is aiming to reconstruct how we perceive beauty and change the ways that women are seen, and actually talk and show how real women look and feel. Body hair, periods, fat, and personalities are all part of this. My favourite quote about this is, ‘people expect women to be that easy to understand, and women are mad at themselves

- Feminism -

for not being that simple…when in actuality, women ARE complicated. Women are multifaceted. Not because women are crazy, but because people are crazy, and women happen to be people.’ - Tavi Gevinson

Accidental Discharge started out as an online crowd-fund project by the two of you and you hadn’t even met each other at that point! A year later, Accidental Discharge has grown and evolved so much, as have the both of you in your partnership and friendship. Do you ever pinch yourselves to remind you that this is your life now, and that you have achieved all of this? Gemma: It really is crazy that last year we started this together and hadn’t met. At that point I had no idea what this could be. I think I am really naive about it all; I don’t really stop and think about it, I just keep looking forward with so many plans and hopes. I will admit though, when I had an interview and photoshoot with Banoffee (musician) I definitely had a pinch myself moment, it was sort of like what, how am I doing this? Maile: I pinch myself every time I am on the phone to girls that are my idols. This whole thing still seems like it’s happening and I am doing it but then when I get home it feels like it was a completely different girl.

What does feminism mean to you, and how long have you identified as feminists? Maile: Feminism to me in the core roots means equality of both sexes. I think we have a long way to go to accomplish that and I think right now we are actually in a dangerous spot because of the way feminism is becoming branded in media. I have properly identified as a feminist since I was 16, but looking back further I was always interested in women’s rights and was taught feminist ideals; I just never understood what the term meant. I am an animal, human, and environmental rights advocate. Feminism is so natural to me; if we aren’t feminists then we believe that women and men should not be seen as equal, I still struggle to understand that there are people out there that don’t believe in this. Gemma: To me I see the term ‘feminism’ simply as creating a voice and bringing light to equality issues. I simply believe in equality between all human beings. I think the expectations and pressures put upon genders is not right, especially women. Feminism is not about man hating, it’s just about being able to have a voice. Unfortunately I wasn’t properly educated or aware of what feminism was until Maile really brought it to my attention. I grew up and was taught feminist views but the term was never used. I definitely identified as a feminist as soon as I understood what the term was. I think the issue with people not wanting to call themselves a feminist is that they don’t fully understand the term.

What or who has been your biggest feminist / girl power inspirations? Maile: Tavi Gevinson (Rookie founder) and Petra Collins (artist) inspired me to be comfortable in my own skin and to feel like I was capable of anything. Kathleen Hanna (Bikini Kill frontwoman) has been my biggest inspiration within feminist ideals and rioting, as well as Lina Esco (#FreeTheNipple director), Namoi Wolf (Author of feminist classic, The Beauty Myth), and my mum.

In an interview you did 8 months ago, Maile, you mentioned feeling intimidated because of your age and experiences, and like you didn’t have the authority to create a publication and comment on serious issues. Do you think that this is a common, knee-jerk, guilt reaction that young people, particularly women, get when they take up space and raise their voices? Do you feel differently now? Maile: I think 8 months ago I was feeling confused because so many people were asking me what made me think I could have a voice. I remember the first time I pitched the idea of the magazine to my teachers, they commented back and said, ‘what makes you think you have a voice or the experience to do this? Why don’t you do something in fashion.’ I remember running out of the classroom and going into the bathroom with my friend to have a cry. Because I was tall, skinny and interested in clothing my teachers always would tell me to just do fashion. They [the teachers] were meant to be progressive, as I was attending an alternative arts based school, yet even they were too constructed by society, and failed to see beyond that. I nearly failed my entire project and just scraped through in year 12, which [is ironic because] I am the only one who made something of [my project] and I managed to reach out to a lot of people. Maybe one day I will tell them. To me the most important part about issue one of Accidental Discharge is the fact that it was created by a group of girls at the ages of 17—I think that’s so important for other young girls to see and feel like they have a voice. Because (as I wrote back to my teachers), any girl from the moment she can talk has enough to say to fill an entire book on how she is treated wrong in society. As women, we are taught through the media to be soft, quiet creatures; Accidental Discharge is here to change that. My voice is just as important and so is yours, and I don’t think anyone should ever have the right to tell you differently.

Where do you see yourselves, and Accidental Discharge, 5 years from now? Maile: I have so many aspirations and dreams for the years to come with this project. I would love for this magazine to become accessible for girls around the world, to replace the likes of Girlfriend and Dolly. I always hope to be more than a magazine, to run discussions, classes, and be a space that uplifts females and males. Gemma: I have huge dreams and hopes. I would love for this to be my full time job. Doing something this creative and inspiring is my dream. I would love for Accidental Discharge to be reaching a far bigger audience and offering people something that they can really connect with and benefit from. We have spoken of all the different directions we can take this, like being more than just a magazine. We see this as being a creative journey that could go anywhere. We both want this to be as successful as it can be. Facebook: Accidental Discharge Instagram: @accidentaldischarge Website and purchasing: accidentaldischargemagazine.com AUTHOR Eleanor Danenberg, 20, Bachelor of Arts (High Achievers)

The hardest thing to say goodbye to for Eleanor is her two dogs when she leaves home (in Victoria) to come back to Uni.

- Feminism -

What I have learned because opinions are allowed to change

I thought I was well versed in feminist theories, and that I didn’t need to listen to other feminist theories because it would be a waste of both my own and other’s time. I knew everything I needed to know. Oh, how young and naïve I was. I have gradually started reading more about feminism, started listening to different speakers, and seeing things from other perspectives. I have been broadening my understanding and I am better for it. You see, identifying with any political or moral movement, you cannot avoid change. The world changes, laws change, views change, and people change. It is only right that ideas and opinions change too. I still staunchly believe that feminism is the fight for gender equality, the equality of all genders regardless of whether a person has a vagina or not. But I am not the feminist I once was, nor am I the feminist I will be. So I would like to share with you the biggest realisations I have had since defining myself as a feminist.

1. Tone policing is not good. Tone policing

is focusing on how something is said or conveyed, and ignoring the actual words. It’s the ‘catch more flies with honey than vinegar’ argument, and now that I’m aware of it, it grinds my gears. It doesn’t matter how a person is dressed, the language they use, the volume, or tone. What matters is the content of their argument. To the radical feminists dressed in vagina costumes I once dismissed—I am sorry. You deserve as much time and serious attention as any other person fighting for equality.

2. Be ever aware of intersectionality.

This is the connection between forms or systems of oppression or discrimination. People don’t just experience one from of discrimination at once, they experience a multitude. For example, I am both female and bisexual. Someone may make a rude comment about my sexual history—are they being sexist, biphobic, or both? No one from of discrimination is lesser than another.

You cannot save all the oppressed people. This is not just because of a lack of resources or time, but because they don’t all need saving in the way you want to save them. Some women find strength and comfort wearing a hijab, others wearing a bikini. You cannot save people by forcing your own values and beliefs onto them— instead respect their autonomy and their ability to decide. By forcing your own values onto someone else, you are just as bad as the original oppressor.

You cannot change people. You cannot change people. Some people will swear the wage gap doesn’t exist. It doesn’t matter how much you explain systematic oppression or that the term ‘wage gap’ is a very literal name for a very complex issue. They won’t understand because they either cannot or will not, and you cannot change that.

Some people will dismiss what you are saying as soon as the words ‘feminist’ or ‘gender equality’ comes up. I can’t explain

it. You’ll be having a great time with some mates, and then some uncultured swine introduces a rape joke to the conversation. You won’t laugh, you’ll call them out and tell them the joke is insensitive/sexist/ not funny/all of the above, and you’ll be accused of being a feminist and slowly alienated from the conversation. First, people who use rape as a punchline are not people to be friends with. Second, keep doing it. I learned early on to not let dismissal get me down, and the longer you keep at it, the more likely people are going to start taking you seriously.

Listen to other people. Bonus points if you’re listening in a non-judgemental way. Really non-judgemental, not the pretend non-judgemental I know we’ve all done. Listen to their opinions and why they hold those opinions. It might be public opinion, it might be personal, but it’s important to listen, and you may learn something new. Above all, practice what you preach. It may take some time to realise the feminist gaffe you might have been making, but turn that behaviour around. Actions always speak louder than words.

AUTHOR Kaisha Wyld, 22, Bachelor of Psychology (Honours) Kaisha says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is her two cats. They’re so innocent and cute, she cannot bear to leave them without being overwhelmed by guilt.

- Get Smart -

E X P E C T M O R E When I was nineteen, I had a baby. He was four weeks early and he changed my world. Three years later he would be diagnosed as autistic. That’s the short story. The long version is a lot more complicated. It involves speech therapy, MRIs, EEGs, speech playgroup, inclusion workers, childcare integration, two more kids, and lots and lots of frustration for his father and me. I would spend my day in a trance, just getting through until bedtime, when I would ease out of his bedroom like a ninja, find a quiet corner, and just bawl my eyes out. If you’d asked me then, I’d have told you that his life—and mine by default—would never change. This was it. This was all there was. He was non-verbal. He was not toilet trained. Life looked pretty damn gloomy. It took a long time for us to realise that we needed to up our expectations. It started to happen in the oddest of ways. We were reading a story together one day; a brand new book, one he hadn’t seen before. All of a sudden our largely non-verbal three year-old just pointed at the page and said, clear as day, ‘ball’. I nearly fell off the bed. After that, we experimented. We’d point out simple words in newspapers, magazines—any place that your average pre-schooler was unlikely to stumble across the written word. He got them all right. At the time of his diagnosis a few months earlier he’d had a vocabulary of only about fifty words, so naturally we were dumbfounded. There was no ‘sounding out’ of syllables, none of the usual learning-to-read signposts. Zero to sixty in the space of a day. BAM. It took us another few months to realise that he’d taught himself to sight-read by watching Wheel of Fortune. At three. I wouldn’t say the following few years were easy. Some years were more crumbs than cake walk, especially the time when a psychologist gave us a report that stated our then-four year-old son was ‘developmentally on par with a 14 month old’. That was a particularly wonderful day. But our son’s everyday speech got better and better and by the end of primary school, you’d never have known he’d had a delay. When our son started high school he enrolled as a full mainstream student.

And his first year out of the gate, he joined the debate team. Let me just pause and repeat that. Our initially-speechdelayed child, who taught himself to read via game shows—the kid that people probably assumed wouldn’t achieve much—joined the debate team. Never mind him; I was fucking terrified. Author Elizabeth Stone says that having a child is like ‘deciding forever to have your heart go walking around outside of your body’ and it’s true. Kids on the autism spectrum often have trouble maintaining eye contact, or adapting ‘on the fly’—both key skills for a debater. It took all of my strength not to talk him out of it. Why would I willingly let my child fall flat on his face in front of dozens of people? Folks, this is where I learned that my limitations are not his limitations. That maybe, just maybe, the problem wasn’t in his head, or even in the heads of those he came across in everyday life, but in mine. He killed it. He absolutely, one-hundred-percent blew everyone away and walked home with a ‘Speaker of the Night’ award. And followed it up with a second one two weeks later. That was the last time I ever underestimated my son. With the semester fast drawing to a close, and some of us considering our future path in study or in our personal life, allow me to offer this one small piece of advice; If John Burgess can teach my non-verbal, autistic threeyear-old how to read, then you, my friend, are going to be just fine. See you next year!

AUTHOR Karen Smart, ‘On the flip side of 30’, Bachelor of Arts (History/Creative Writing)

Karen says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is the last TimTam in the packet.

When a night out turns UGLY Trigger Warning: Sexual Harrassment I was doing my ‘groove thang’ in the corner of the Dog and Duck, being all Presidential-like (cue being asked by security to stop dancing on the furniture). It was a Friday night in the city, a rare occasion for me to go out and about as the mother of a four year old. But in my position as the President of a student association on campus, I was fulfilling my duties by being present and engaged in our university event—our semester two pub crawl. Obviously, I was not present enough [rolls eyes]. Obviously, I had ‘too much’ to drink [rolls eyes again] because I could not have foreseen that a man, also on our pub crawl, would come up behind me, reach around and purposely grope both breasts—like I was providing some sort of quick stress ball service with my chest. My reaction time had slowed due to the effects of the vodka I’d consumed, and the shock of what had just happened, I turned around. Unfortunately I could not identify the man who did this, I saw his face only for a moment, and he disappeared into a sea of red, which was either the pub crawl t-shirts donned by our students that night, or the glow of my growing rage. The support from other office bearers within our association, while appreciated, did not make a difference. Despite not feeling victimised, it tainted the rest of my evening. I was constantly looking over my shoulder trying to identify the man who had just violated my body in front of everyone; I wanted to confront him. I kept watching the other females on the pub crawl to try and ensure that they were not being or going to be groped too, or perhaps worse. I stopped drinking, I wanted to be entirely focussed. I had to change my behaviour to try and ensure the incident was not repeated again. A woman should not have to avoid her body being treated as if it were public property. I ranted on Facebook. If a President of a student association could not attend a pub crawl that she facilitated with her team, then who the fuck could? This was the second time I had received unwanted sexual groping at a pub crawl. The first time I dismissed as an isolated event, and thought that it was not serious enough to report or even confront the person that did it. Yet, the more I have discussed it with other female students, the more I am realising how fucking prevalent it is. The 2010-2011 National Union of Students Talk About It survey, conducted by the NUS Women’s Department, found that 35 per cent of the women respondents had experienced unwanted groping or sexual contact while at university or university-related events. The most recent Talk About It survey results have not yet been published, but I imagine they are going to be much the same. I should not have to be constantly wary of my surroundings as a human being. I should not have to maintain my sobriety to ensure that I do not become vulnerable to the predatory ass-slapping, boob-grabbing that plagues nightlife and, I am absolutely sure, other university events. Someone stated that perhaps because I was President, it may have been seen as more of an ‘achievement’ to grab my breasts. Well, go for a high score on Snake on your Nokia 3315, you neanderthal, and keep your hands the fuck away from our bodies y’all. Authors Note: I use humour, satire and sarcasm in this article. But make no mistake, sexual harassment, sexual assault and misogyny are not funny in the slightest. They are serious issues and have serious outcomes for the victims If any of this content was distressing or triggering for you, please contact either 1800 RESPECT or members of University staff engaged in Equal Opportunity or Counselling on 8201 2118

AUTHOR Christine Bennetts, 25, PhD Candidate (International Relations)

Christine says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is the last piece of chocolate…and puppies that your partner won’t let you buy.

Artw ork by Sheydin Dew 21

EDS

Laura

Jess

ON Jess

Simone

Having the title of ‘editor’ is a pretty tremendous understatement for what myself, my fellow editors, previous editors, and future editors have and will do for Empire Times. The role of editor not only involves the obvious—editing student’s writing—but it encapsulates pretty much everything else to do with the magazine (you name it, we do it). From the get go, you’re given an office and told to make a magazine. No words could have prepared for me for the experience of being an editor and if someone could have articulated it back in 2014 when I first applied for the job, I’d have thought they were being overzealous. Perhaps it’s because I’m addicted to being high strung from stress, or probably more likely it’s because I love being part of something so creative. Regardless, it’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. The vibrant student community we are part of is something to be celebrated and within this role I’ve come to know and love many students and staff I’d otherwise never have met. Being given the opportunity to provide a platform for the many talented students we have at this university is a great feeling. We are surrounded by passionate, creative and opinionated peers who have made Empire Times a publication worth every student’s and staff’s time. Being part of the ET team, I feel damn proud to have worked in an environment that is supportive of

the great writers, artists, journalists, bloggers, and editors of the future. Our contributors might not know it yet but their journey with ET is just the beginning of something even bigger for them. I quickly learnt that not all our hard work is in the forefront of every reader’s mind and nit-picking will inevitably ensue. Sometimes it may feel like being an editor is much like playing tetris—all your mistakes pile up and your achievements disappear. This is not the case, however. It’s been important to remind myself that the errors I have made feel more dramatic at the time and having a glass or three of wine is a perfectly adequate means of encouraging myself to interpret negative feedback as constructive criticism. Somehow, in amongst all the meetings, emails and designing, we find the time to support each other on a personal and professional basis. We are constantly ‘on’ for our fellow editors as well as contributors. Making ourselves available at all hours, it is often late at night when the most intriguing of ideas can, over the course of an editor-contributor dialogue, blossom into fullyfledged articles. Students have been our greatest asset and it is their voices that permeate through Empire Times long after a reader has put it down. Being an editor of a student magazine places you in a very rare and opportunistic position in that you are the first contact for a student looking to have their work published and must respect the vulnerabilities associated with new writers and artists. I feel very lucky to have been involved in many writer’s first steps towards being published—what may initially present as tentativeness, uncertainty and self-consciousness soon transforms into confidence, articulation and a passionate drive. To wrap it up—because I could go on for pages—the editor experience is one that is unique, challenging and rewarding. It’s cliché but ‘you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, it’ll change your life’. AUTHOR Jess Nicole, 24, Bachelor of Psychology

The hardest thing to say goodbye to, says Jess, is the last bite of a really good sandwich.

Laura Despite being the politics columnist in 2014 and writing for ET in 2013, I was absolutely not adequately prepared for all that Empire Times was going to throw at me as Editor. I did not get the job in the usual way—I was still on exchange when FUSA posted that they needed a new editor. Using my in newfound European courage I threw caution to the wind and hoped for the best. As luck would have it, I had a Skype interview at 2am in a hostel in Budapest and received a 4.30am phone call in Berlin to say I had the job and—not one to shy away from a challenge—started editing when I arrived in Amsterdam two days later. Three weeks later I arrived in Adelaide half way through the first week in March and less than nine hours later I joined the people who would challenge, inspire and push me to be the best I could be. Hitting the ground running I soon learnt that Empire Times is all-consuming and the term editor sold the job short. Those first few weeks were a total blur of learning and freaking out, and it mere weeks before my fellow editors (and beautiful FUSA staff) cropped up in my dreams. I also learnt very quickly that spending more time with them than my family/regular friends was incredibly normal. When I first started I assumed Photoshop was just a program to make models in photos skinnier, Illustrator was for people with super genius level drawing skills and that InDesign was a typo. Fortunately now, not only can I kinda sorta use these programs I actually find it the highlight of my week. It is fun to see a concept in your mind become a reality. I think the one thing newbie editors don’t really prepare for is the fierce learning curve that takes place as soon as you are handed the keys to your fancy office on the first day. I remember sitting down at my computer and not having a clue how to turn it on… I found out there is such a thing as a dumb question. Seriously though, joking aside, there is actually NO such thing as a stupid question, you just have to be willing to ask for help.

This year has been challenging and stressful, but coming out the other end I would absolutely not change anything for the world. The people I have met, and the things I have done are truly a once in a lifetime experience. AUTHOR Laura Telford, 20, Bachelor of Arts (High Achievers)

Laura says hardest thing to say goodbye to is the people you love...especially at airports.

It’s been a real struggle trying to balance my responsibilities for Empire Times with my Honours requirements, including the two week internship I spent in Canberra. But my fellow eds, Jess and Laura, have been incredibly patient and accommodating during these times. Without such a wonderful team, I’m not sure how I could have managed this year. Yes I inevitably extended my studies part time, but that just seems to be how everyone copes with such a demanding job as Empire Times. And those who don’t are insane (or insanely talented at time management). I’ve learned a lot this year. I’ve learned how to use a Mac (something I was very hesitant to do, as a PC purist), I learned InDesign and Photoshop (changing the image type counts), and I learned that there are no short-cuts to transcribing a recorded interview. If the technology to accurately turn audio file to text does exist, I could not find it in the several hours I wasted trying. So you’re probably just going to have to do it the hard way, or hire a professional transcriber, if you really want to spend your Editor money on that instead of fun things like food and car registration. Which brings me to the pay. The money from FUSA has been a huge boost in my funds, doubling what I was previously earning from my other casual job and Youth Allowance combined (which is really more of a comment on how underemployed I was/still sort of am). It’s still not minimum wage, but the honorarium is better than nothing, which is what editorial teams at some other student mags get. It’s also less than what eds were paid back they brought in the VSU, but there’s not much we can do about that (other than complain about it constantly in SC pages and editorials, haha). I’ve also learned that wrangling contributors can sometimes be like herding cats (which is my favourite metaphor for everything), although our writers tend to be better behaved and apologetic when missing deadlines. It’s been really amazing working closely with a number of you to help hone your craft and let your voices shine. I hope you’ve enjoyed the experience as much as I have. It’s been a real honour to work on this magazine, and I thank all of you who have come up to me, in person or online, to tell me how much you’ve enjoyed my half-rants, half-poor-attempts-atcomedy in my editorials. I’d love to continue, and depending on the results of the elections (I’m writing this before voting opens), I’m super excited to be back for another year, OR I’m super sorry to go and best of luck to the new team (you bastards *shakes fist*). Jokes aside, it’s been a blast. You’re all beautiful. Thanks for the ride. AUTHOR Simone Corletto, 24, Bachelor of Creative Arts Honours (Creative Writing) Simone says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is a good book series..

Simone

Having control over 1/3 of Empire Times puts you in the power seat (read: swivel chair) and with it, a responsibility to execute and show off the best of what Flinders students have to offer. It is up to you to go and find those spectacular artists floating around the Humanities Courtyard, it is up to you to source those exciting and original articles, and it is up to you to nurture and inspire contributors so they can do and be their best. Editors are the playmakers, they have their hands in all the pots and without out them everything falls apart; but it is only with complete dedication that it turns out successful.

I joined the editing team in June, when a space opened up, and while I’ve only worked on six issues, this has been one of the most intense, and enjoyable, years of my time at Flinders.

Julian Meyrick HIGHLY ACCOMPLISHED IN BOTH THE THEATRE AND ACADEMIC WORLDS, IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE PROFESSOR JUILIAN MEYRICK WAS NOMINATED AS ONE OF FLINDERS UNIVERSITY’S BEST TEACHERS. HE SAT DOWN WITH ET EDITOR SIMONE CORLETTO TO CHAT ABOUT THE THEATRE, THE CULTURAL VALUE OF THE ARTS AND THE BENEFITS OF A VARIED CAREER.

Professor Julian Meyrick is a Strategic Professor of

Creative Arts at Flinders University, as well as holding a position on the Artistic Counsel for the State Theatre Company of South Australia, and a Chief Investigator on two ARC Linkage Projects, and a lecturer of Dramaturgy and Cultural Policy. Julian explained that he originally trained as an economist, before completing an MA training degree in the US and getting into stage directing. Since then he has worked in Sydney and Melbourne, holding various positions in the theatre industry, including director, historian and academic, publishing widely on the Australian theatre, performance theory and practice, contemporary dramaturgy and cultural policy. Before coming to Flinders, Julian spent 6 years as an Associate Director and Literary Advisor at the Melbourne Theatre Company, and held an honorary position at La Trobe University. When he arrived at Flinders three years ago, Julian was made a Strategic Professor of Creative Arts, as appointed by the last Vice Chancellor in a number of what he described as Strategic Chairs within the faculty. ‘When I first arrived, the position had been mis-written as a Professor of Strategic Arts’, he jokes, which sounds to me more like some sort of military position. As a strategic professor, Julian is situated between four areas at the university, whether through their research or teaching. These areas are drama, screen, media and creative writing, as the major streams, which form the

creative arts group within the school of Humanities. Through this Julian does his research primarily on cultural policy, cultural value assessment and other economic issues relating to the creative arts, and where this sits within the contemporary economic landscape. As a teacher, Julian teaches courses in Dramaturgy and Cultural Policy, which reflects the two focuses of his career. He describes Dramaturgy as the love of his life, where he teaches students about understanding how scripts and plays work; useful theory for any hopeful writers, actors or directors hoping to get into the theatre. As a result, these classes primarily cater to creative arts students, unlike Cultural Policy where he gets to teach students from a variety of faculties, from film and media, even law. He remarks that it’s a boring name for an interesting topic, with a lot of scope for students to find their own research interests. Julian notes that the best part of his role here at Flinders is working in such an extremely friendly environment, surrounded by a myriad of interesting people. It’s easy to see how, with his office up on the second floor of the Humanities building, clustered between academics of a variety of disciplines, from creative writers and editors, to poets and philosophers, and even language specialists. Julian remarks ‘you can’t find that mix of people anywhere, except at a university, and at Flinders it’s very convivial. People are extremely open and love to talk, and talking at the university is a form of collaboration, so it’s a good thing.’

Julian says the worst part of the job would have to be paperwork and navigating the complicated systems the University runs on. Also the parking situation, as the true equaliser between staff and student which everyone seems to struggle with. (Being on the pay role doesn’t guarantee you a fancy spot near your office, unfortunately.) The journey into teaching was almost a natural one for Julian, having turned to teaching and research throughout his theatre career, after returning to study in the early 1990s to get his PhD. However he never gave up on the theatre, continuing to direct at least once a year, even now. Being able to balance working in the industry he loves and enjoying the financial support of teaching may be the dream of many drama majors, but Julian warns it isn’t easy. ‘It’s difficult to pull off [the double act] and the balance is really hard to find,’ he remarks, ‘and often I wish I got some recognition for just that.’ He doesn’t believe he does any of these roles amazingly. ‘I think there are greater artists than me, and greater scholars without doubt, but I think to bring the two things together has been a real achievement in my life. God knows it’s been hard enough.’ During our interview we were interrupted several times by people needing to talk about one thing or another, which really just stands as a testament to how busy and hard-working Julian is. On striking the balance, Julian replies that he very much relies on the support and good will of those around him, especially his work colleagues and the dean and executive dean. When asked what his students tend to go on to when they finish their degrees, Julian confesses that he doesn’t know specifically as he hasn’t been here long enough. He’s known a number of his old students to head into dedicated art form roles, such as acting and film making. A larger number of students go on to what Julian calls portfolio careers, where they go on to do a variety of different roles which is basically what his own career has been like, having taught, directed, adapted, and even worked as a journalist. Julian says this variety has

made for a rather fun career, and that there’s a lot of opportunity these days for those who are adaptable into different arts jobs. It’s a work style that seems natural for people with a creative arts background, since the skills taught tend to be transferrable into a many different roles. This same versatile, generalised nature of the arts is what some people look down upon. Julian puts on his economist hat to interject that it’s a cultural misconception that the Arts isn’t as economically viable as other industries. ‘I always give this statistic; agriculture returns 3.9% of GDP, just under 4%. The cultural industries are 3.6%. So within the next 10 years, maybe even sooner, those cultural industries will be larger than the agriculture sector,’ he says. He goes on to note that media and video game production especially are key emerging industries in our economy, so people shouldn’t be so dismissive of studying in those areas if they’re interested. While he might not have much spare time, Julian says that one of his other great interests is history. ‘I’ll look at anything old and dead,’ he remarks. ‘My idea of a good time is stomping around a ruin or learning about Tudor history or ancient Rome.’ I remarked that it must have been great being in England, with so much history and all their castles, to which he replied he’d even lived in a couple of them. On advice for students looking to go into the theatre, Julian replies that if you want to be a creative artist, you should imagine how you might feel if you got to his age (roughly fifty), and had a life that was full of variety, but not necessarily rich or famous. ‘Some people in the industry are rich and famous, but some people are rich and famous dentists,’ he replies. While some find great success, it’s a ‘freak occurrence’, and most people who go into this industry just get by, so you really have to be driven by passion. If you just love what it could bring you, in terms of money or fame, it won’t be enough. But if you love the work then it will be a satisfying and socially significant role (someone has to create all the art and media we consume on a daily basis). Julian advises to look into your heart and make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons, good advice for every student in any faculty, really. No matter what you graduate from, it’s about making your education work for you. Julian is a big believer in education for the arts, saying ‘I think that if you’re going to be an artist, being a thinking artist is the way to go.’

THANKS

TO EVERYONE WHO NOMINATED THEIR

PROFESSOR/ LECTURER/TUTOR/TEACHER

FOR BEST TEACHER

WE’VE LOVED SHINING A LIGHT ON SOME

OF FLINDERS HIDDEN GEMS. IT’S CLEAR WE HAVE SOME

EVERY EXTRAORDINARY PEOPLE AMONGST US. A poster from Jerzy Grotowski’s Theatre Laboratory, for their show The Constant Prince. It was given to Julian by one of the actors in that famous company, after he had completed some research on their early work. ‘He told me never to frame it! I hope he doesn’t look at the Empire Times!’

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning, We will remember them. Laurence Binyon, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;For the Fallenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918, the armistice was signed and the Great War came to an end. After four years of bitter and bloody battles, World War I was finally over. A conflict that mobilised over 70 million people and saw the death of between 9 and 13 million people; it was total warfare, and something that had never before been witnessed in the modern era.

failing for the allied powers, but poor decision making on the part of German leaders and the entry of the USA in to the battle ultimately saw the balance of power shift back towards the allies. Towards the end of 1918, it was clear that Germany was flailing, and France and Britain prepared an armistice. This was signed in the early hours of the 11th of November, coming into effect at 11am, finally ending the war.

World War I was an intense and bloody conflict that saw a new type of battle being waged. New technologies, in the form of canons, ammunition and communications resulted in a different battle to what had been fought in Europe in the past, and it was the first time that a war had broken out on such a large scale. Countries from around the world were involved in the conflict, and nothing on this scale had ever been seen before, nor would it until the outbreak of World War II in 1939. At the beginning of 1918, Germany was confident that they could win the war. Russia had withdrawn, facing its own internal revolutionary conflicts, and offensives seemed to be

The first anniversary of Armistice Day in 1919 saw a minute silence being observed in remembrance of all those who had lost their lives in the First World War, and this practice is one that has continued into the 21st century. Eventually, the 11th of November began to signify not only the end of the First World War, but as a day to remember all of those who have lost their lives in any war. After World War II, both the Australian and British Governments changed the name of the day from Armistice Day to Remembrance Day. Although Australia focuses on commemorating the fallen at ANZAC Day services on the 25th of April in remembrance of the Australian soldiers

landing at Gallipoli in 1915, it is Remembrance Day that offers a moment of reflection on a wider scale, across the nations that participated in the Great War and beyond. It is a day that asks us to remember the futility of war and the huge loss of life suffered as a result of all wars. The red poppy is a symbol most often associated with Remembrance Day. During World War I, the poppies were one of the first flowers to grow on the war torn land in Northern France and Belgium, and for the soldiers, the red colouring was likened to the blood of their fallen comrades which had soaked into the ground on which the poppies later stood. The poppies that stood at the Battle of Ypres in 1915 inspired one of the most famous poems to come out of the war period, In Flanders Fields by Colonel John McCrae. Ultimately, the poppy became symbolic of shed blood and fallen comrades. The poppy has become widely recognised as the flower to be worn on Armistice Day across the allied nations. According to the Australian War Memorial Foundation, the poppy was first sold by

the Australian Returned Soldiers and Sailors Imperial League (now the RSL) for Armistice Day in 1921, a tradition that is continued in the present day. Remembrance Day is an important historical finale. It marks the end of one of the most destructive conflicts in modern history, and it is an event that still very much has an impact here in Australia. On the eleventh of November at eleven oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;clock, I hope we can all take just one minute out of our hectic lives to remember the effect of war, remember the sacrifices made, and reflect upon the lives lost. Lest we forget.

AUTHOR Sarah Barrett, 20, Bachelor of Teaching (Secondary) and Bachelor of Arts Sarah says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is loved ones.

ARTIST Sheydin Dew

Musings of an Almost Graduate: When all stability comes to an end Around this time three years ago, I was in the last leg of year twelve. At that time, much like now, I remember thinking where on earth did this year go? But at the same time, I wasn’t worried; I knew exactly what I was doing and what I was going to do. I had applied for Psychology (Honours) but knew that my chances of getting in were slim (I did get a lot closer than I thought I would though), so I had my backup plan ready: a Bachelor of Behavioural Science, followed by applying for honours and then a PhD or Masters. Despite being a stressful year, I didn’t find year twelve nearly as bad as everyone made me think it would be because I had my life—or at least, my life plan—together. Then I got to this year.

a psychologist would be awesome, but if I don’t have the passion to take the road that gets me there, then there’s no way I’ll be able to reach that goal. Right now, I’m able to empathise with the other kind of year twelves you encounter: the ones also going ‘where the hell has this year gone?’ while at the same time saying ‘what the flip am I going to do with my life?’ This whole year I’ve been stuck in an elongated quarter life crisis. I’ve never had a plan B if the psychologist thing didn’t work out, shy of quitting social life and becoming a Netflix watching, binge eating recluse (more so than I am now). Unfortunately, I’m unable to pursue this lifestyle, so instead I have been reduced to a sleep deprived, not-even-five-foot ball of stress.

Shortly after I started high school, my mum mentioned that she thought I’d enjoy psychology and that it would be something I’d be good at. Ever since then I had looked forward to my later high school years when I was able to choose to take that class. Just like mum said, I did enjoy it and I did well in it. Psychology was one of my all-time favourite subjects and, even before I’d started it, I’d decided I wanted to be a psychologist. But psych at uni is not the same as at high school. I mean, we covered the high school material in first year and keep covering some aspects even now in third year, but it’s not all the same. Throughout my degree, I’ve lost the passion I had for psych five years ago. There are still aspects I love, but altogether it’s difficult for me to find the motivation to actually do the work. I have never gotten the grades I got in high school for my uni psych topics; instead I receive higher grades for my major and elective topics, even though I haven’t enjoyed them either.

Originally I had planned on looking into psych related jobs, however, now I’m not even sure I want to work in something related to my degree. But I’m finishing this year regardless. I’m so close to the end, there’s no point quitting now. Maybe a part of it is to prove that I can finish what I’ve started. And at least then I’ll have a degree. Despite this, I’ve learnt through this year that it doesn’t matter if my original plans fall through. I’ve grown up in a society that says ‘finish what you start’, and that you’ll amount to nothing if you don’t have your whole life planned out by the time you finish year twelve, and that university is the only way to get a job and succeed in life. But, slowly, this mentality is changing, because the truth is that not many people do know exactly what they’re going to do with their life after high school, and university’s not the only way to get a job and succeed, and people change.

At the beginning of this year, I came to the realisation that I didn’t want to do a PhD. I didn’t even want to do honours. I realised that I despise thesis work. I still think being

The short, timid Tamsin that started university in 2013 is definitely not the same as the short, timid Tamsin now. I have changed a lot in the past three years in ways that are not always obvious; but one of these changes relates to where I want to end up. To be honest, I’m still

not actually all that sure what I want to do with my life, but I know I want to have fun, be happy, and experience more of the world than just little Adelaide. Part of me wants to go back to university next year and study English for a few reasons; it’s a subject I’ve always loved, I only got to do two English electives in my current degree, I’m thinking I might go down the pathway of an English related career, and because coming back to university is easy. I’m not ready for a full time job yet. I’m not even ready to move out of my parents’ house. I’m not ready to pay bills, and cook dinner every night, and go to bed and get up at reasonable hours. I’m not ready to adult yet, and university is the perfect escape from that. University is limbo. It’s that middle ground where you’re a student, but you’re a grown up, people treat you with respect, but you don’t quite need to worry about full on adult life yet. University is a safe haven from the ‘real world’ and, as someone who spends the majority of her time insides pages and scenes of fiction, I’m not ready for the real world. Not just yet. Through this year of uncertainty, I’ve learnt, however, that it doesn’t matter what others think of what I do with my life—that’s why it’s my life. So I will finish my degree and I won’t apply for honours. Instead, the day after the exam period ends, I’ll fly to Canada to work at a ski resort and when I come back in April next year, I’ll decide what I’m going to do next. And that’s okay. As a wise man once said, it does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop. AUTHOR Tamsin Alexander, 20, Bachelor of Behavioural Science

The hardest thing for Tamsin to say goodbye to is old friendships.

ARTIST Benjamin Hall

Vox Pop Questions 1.

What do you study, what year did you start and when do you graduate?

2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

What have you gotten out of being involved in the making of ET?

8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

1. 2.

Your idea of hell is… Something that really speaks to you? Who do you look up to? Favourite Flinders University building? What is one topic of conversation you know way too much about? something you have done this year that you are proud of? If you could change one thing about the way this country is run, what would it be? What is your spirit animal? Best thing you have taken from studying at Flinders?

On a Sunday afternoon, you are usually found…. Best advice you could give to your 13 year old self?

3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

emma sachsse openly sexual Bachelor of Psychology (Honours). I graduate this year. Being part of ET made me feel like I was contributing to uni life, and whilst my degree often left me tired, stressed and feeling like I had achieved nothing of worth, seeing people reading my articles in ET was wonderful. Statistics.

When humans are kind to each other for no reason. Every woman who has fought for her right to a voice so that I can be heard too. The Myrtle and Mae Caravan.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Sex.

Surviving Honours.

Let’s start showing some compassion for displaced persons. None, I bow down to the great leader Chairman Meow, of the Enlightened Republic of Purristan.

9. 10.

Creatives can do science.

I’m not, I am usually hiding. Not fitting in in a country town is okay. It will get better. Eventually you will be appreciated for being creative and funny.

11. 12. 13.

Jonno Revanche Equality I studied a Grad Diploma of Counselling and started this year. I’ve learned how to run a consistent column on specific issues and have my (very rough) drafts get turned into literary magic by the adept hands of my editors, and how to get into a writing routine. The facebook group ‘minion spotting’.

Frank Ocean’s selfies. There’s a reason I run the ‘queer’ column and liking his selfies is a prerequisite. Myself! And lots of people who have undergone struggle. I have a lot of idols but it’s healthier for me to distance myself from blind worship. I don’t have one! The whole campus is beautiful. I prefer the natural environments. Strange how Harry Potter details always have a way of resurging their way up through my memory from years of devotion. I won an internship at Oyster, moved to Sydney briefly, and moved past some personal things/obstacles that I thought I never would. Stop the forced closures of Indigenous communities and focus on decolonisation. I’m more of a sucker for the phrase ‘patronus’ because of my youth, but my favourite animal since I was really young was a whale. These days, an afghan hound or a hummingbird. Totally self-motivated study. Sitting on my bed doing something mundane or automatic like scrolling through facebook and eye-rolling at everything I see. Keep doing weird gay shit.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

kevin clark technologica Bachelors of Engineering (Software), Computer Science and a Diploma of Languages (French). 2011-2017 at full time. Writing is fun, as is any research required for my articles—I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy it. It also feels more productive, when procrastinating, than Netflix. The weights room. My phone—all I have to do is download podcasts and it will speak to me all day. Anyone 6ft2 and taller. Oh, and Bill Nye (the science guy) (who’s 6ft1). Tonsley—it even has a pub around the corner. Only one? Goldfish, although ‘the half-life of a Teaspoon and other odd papers’ is close second. Science Busking in Rundle Mall. The shitty way our country treats, and talks about, both refugees and first Australians.

The giraffe.

I have taken many free pens over the years. Some of them were good. Working in Hungry Jacks. From the time you turn 18, the teams to bet money on winning the grand final are…

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karen smart get smart BA with a History/Creative Writing focus, slated to graduate in 2018. Seeing the inside of my brain in print is always a thrill.

1. 2.

Being forced to watch sporting events on TV. The pen is mightier than the sword (and a lot easier to conceal in battle).

Pretty much everyone. I’m only 5’3”. Education, because then all my classes are downhill.

The Walking Dead / Game of Thrones.

Returned to study.

Prime Ministers that last longer than two years!

My Italian Greyhound, Louis—100 mile an hour couch potato.

The ability to systematically hold my own head to the rotating blades of the deadline merry-go-round over and over and survive. Roaming the aisles of Officeworks looking at notebooks and pens and procrastinating about the essay due the next day. Unfortunately, you aren’t going to marry a Backstreet Boy, so it’s best to make peace with it now.

3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

kaisha wyld feminism Bachelor of Psychology (Honours) and this year I graduate! Huzzah! I’ve started actively questioning the content of my beliefs and why I hold them. If I cannot write a full article on an issue, then my understanding of that issue is flawed or incomplete, so I do more research and change my beliefs accordingly. Being perpetually unprepared. Spoken word poetry; it’s just so brilliantly beautiful. I try and look up to everyone I know; everyone has done something aspirational, you just need to find what it is. Central Library, because it has books. How to train animals. I’ve written a thesis! I’m trying really hard not to print copies to send to everyone I know. Introduce a mandatory high school topic to understand the basics of Australian politics. The humble house cat. Sleeps all day, eats all night, and gets hair everywhere. The role of scientific thinking in dayto-day life. I have started nerding out over sample sizes, confirmation biases, and questioning the reliability of statements. Cleaning the house. Dream bigger, rock the boat, and failure won’t hurt you.

eleanor danenberg feminism

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11.

A Bachelor of Arts (High Achievers) majoring in Women’s Studies and Creative Writing! I started in 2014 and if all goes to plan, I’ll finish in 2017. I’ve met some great fellow contributors, and it’s been fantastic to learn about the production of a magazine; particularly one that is created by and for the students. Being forced to listen to Lewis McKirdy on Triple J. Sex and The City—it’s hilarious, full of life lessons, and it constantly reinforces the significance of female friendship and girl power.

emma cresdee politik

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Maile Bowen and Gemma Mahoney, who I interviewed on page 14. Yunggorendi Mande—beautiful views! I know an alarming amount of James Bond film trivia. I was in the Flinders Uni Hall girls soccer team and we won the intercollege competition overall! Adequate representation of the people goes a long way. Like, having a Minister for Women who actually identifies as a woman—not Tony Abbott. Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy, 100%. When you follow your heart and pursue your passions, you’ll find your way.

12.

Waking up from a sleep-in and searching for the perfect café for brunch; eggs Florentine and lattes.

13.

In the words of Dame Helen Mirren, ‘use the words “fuck off” much more frequently’.

6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

A Bachelor of Arts, majoring in Public Policy and minoring in Politics and History. I started at Flinders in 2013 and I finish at the end of this year! Yay

kelly guthberlet level up

It has been an awesome experience to write about political issues, and to be able to contribute to part of our Flinders community.

Being stuck on a blind date with Tony Abbott

My cat, I swear! When I’m home alone she’s my confidant but somehow no one believes me! Gough Whitlam he was a really inspirational leader, a true reformist, with big ideas. Also my Dad who faced many adversities to get to where he was today, and has always been a hard worker, and the first deaf man from a deaf family in Australia to complete his PhD. The library, I spend most of my time there when I’m at uni, it’s where I can get most of my work done. Sister Act 2, I think I actually know way too much to be okay. Writing for Empire Times, of course! I wouldn’t change much apart from the mainstream media, the commercialisation of news, and the way that they can create bias. A butterfly. Critical thinking skills, and the ability to objectively analyse an issue. At work, it’s part of the joys of working retail. Please for the love of god get rid of that awful ‘fringe’. Two strings of hair on each side of your face does not look good and never will!!

4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

I’m studying the Bachelor of Education (Middle and Secondary Schooling)/ Bachelor of Science, I started in 2013 and will graduate at the end of 2016. I got to play a lot of games for a good reason, which is always fun, and I learned a lot about the editorial process. Being surrounded by moody, angsty teenagers who won’t listen or understand—oh wait, that’s my job (I kid, of course). Punks with crazy style. Col. Chris Hadfield, that Canadian astronaut who sang a David Bowie song in space. The Physical and Chemical sciences building, it has the best computer labs and I have a lot of great memories from there. Makeup, or Dungeons & Dragons, it’s hard to tell. Found love (in a hopeless place?) Proper distribution of education funding. Probably the flamingo, because they’re so fabulous. Studying is easier when you have a whole lot of friends to struggle along with. Hanging with friends, or frantically working on an assignment that’s due Monday, it really depends. Don’t worry about being cool or popular or getting in with the right crowd; just be you, it all works out in the end.

Thank you! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

aden beaver music I started studying Creative Arts (Digital Media) this year and should be completing it in a few years time. An expanded musical taste and better language skills. Being chained to the front row of a Pitbull concert. The fact that we’re on a slowly dying planet hurtling through the universe at thousands of kilometres a second. Rafal Banasiak, or “The God”.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Humanities.

Assassin’s Creed.

Uninstalling League of Legends was a proud moment. God I hate that game now.

Establish a dictatorship run by SBS newscaster and Supreme Leader Lee Lin Chin. If her twitter feed is anything to go by we’ll all be much better off.

A beaver, of course! Or an eagle. I like to think I possess the qualities of both (except the teeth, of course). My lecturer, Katie Cavanagh, pushing me to be a better artist. Either working on my garden, cleaning the house or finishing assignments that I shouldn’t have left to the last minute. Get a haircut and relax. Life is for living! Enjoy every moment.

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bethany lawrence food I’m studying a BA, majoring in Creative Writing. Should be graduating next year, if all goes ahead :) Fat, haha! Nah, I enjoy providing info on where the student-budget friendly food is at. A classroom on a 35 degree day with a broken air-conditioner. I’m really into Humans of New York. I enjoy the perspective of other’s lives, good and bad. The idol slot is currently kinda empty, after last year my hero went on a weird anti-religion tangent that rubbed me the wrong way. Eh, I don’t really play favourites with the buildings, but I guess the library. It’s where I spend most of my time, and is pretty close to everything. Way too many things, but if I narrow it down, I’m pretty freakishly fluent on everything to do with Disney or Simpsons quotations. I started driving a giant ute around. His name is Beastie. I havent mowed anyone over yet, so hurray, accomplishment! I’m gonna be completely non-serious here, and say that Australia needs to make up its mind on whether we want Halloween or not. We sell the costumes and decorations, yet it still isn’t a thing? The blob fish. Nobody knows how the hell it came to be, but there it is.

A huge pat on the back to everyone within these pages. A special thanks goes to our columnists. Without them taking the time each issue to write for ET, we wouldn’t have such a kick arse magazine. So, as evil editors we made them do even more work by asking them all these questions! To their credit, they appear here with perky faces despite us busting their chops all year.

That even the tutors know that reading the whole reading is bullshit—skim all the way! Sleeping, most likely. You wont give a shit about what people say about you now in a few years time, I promise.

SO YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW ENDED NOW WHAT? How to get by during the hardest times... Oh, television; you entered our lives as a source of entertainment and somewhere along the way became our raison detrê. We set shows to record so we don’t miss them, buy them on DVD so we can re-watch them (definitely buy and not illegally download, amirite?), and join fandoms and online forums to discuss our favourite TV shows at a length that’s, quite frankly, disturbing. I’m looking at you, Supernatural fans. I’ve yet to meet a normal one of you. In a world where television is such a big part of our lives, we face the all-too-real problem of a show finishing their season…or worse, ENDING ALL TOGETHER. So I’m here to spit-ball some ideas to help you out the next time you have to say goodbye to a treasured TV show. 1. NETFLIX, PRESTO, STAN AND THE LIKE… With large and diverse libraries, and whole seasons available on demand, online streaming networks like Netflix, Presto and Stan are a binge-watcher’s wildest dream and worst nightmare Read: My wildest dream and worst nightmare. I finished Orange is the New Black in less than 48 hours (while still attending class, #humblebrag) and this was excellent. Until I realised, I now have to wait A WHOLE YEAR for the next season. At least on a weekby-week release systems we’re forced to stretch it out and only have three or four months of waiting around. But twelve months? I might have to do some petty crime, go to jail and create my own prison drama to get by. 2. BOOKS Oh wow, the creative writing student is suggesting reading, there’s a surprise. But wait! Books are not only great sources of entertainment that make you look smarter than sitting in front of a TV or device; many of our favourite shows actually started

out this way! Dexter, Orange is the New Black, Pretty Little Liars… Admittedly I have yet to stumble across the original novelisation of 30 Rock (R.I.P. Liz Lemon) but this is a great way to hold on a little longer to characters you aren’t ready to let go of, or just to know what happens next. And I have to say it…the book is always better. 3. FRIENDS I don’t mean Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, Chandler, or Joey. Unless by coincidence, that’s the name of your BFFL (why did BFFL stop?) While your show is on hiatus or gone forever, you should ask your real, live friends what they’re watching, or suggest your beloved show to them. A lot of the time they’ve seen something great that you haven’t (it’s embarrassing to admit, but I hadn’t seen The Office until last year when my friend said I HAD TO, and it was a life changing event.) And if you convince a friend to give your favourite show a try, you get someone to have all the fun of watching it for the first time with, and someone to cry with when it inevitably ends. There are so many things you can do when your show ends— maybe get a life, or find a new hobby—but at the end of the day, all that matters is time. I promise you will learn to love again. They’re going to bring out new TV shows to distract you, and one day, one of them is going to be funny enough, and smart enough, and pretty enough that you’ll forget all about that other TV show. (This also applies to ex-boyfriends and girlfriends.) And then eventually you’ll end up repeating the cycle, but let’s not go there. AUTHOR Kirsty van der Veer, 20, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Creative Writing)

The hardest thing for Kirsty to say goodbye to is a free Wi-Fi connection.

- Fiction -

COURTSHIP AND A CATERPILLAR

A gunshot whistles through the canopy as a

great body crashes down to Earth. Atop the green balcony above Sanson rears proudly. The caterpillar has won the challenge to his milkweed, and begins to feast on his prize. #

It is a beautiful day; the sun is out flaunting an energetic yellow hue, and Cassandra is out searching for something. The butterfly is not entirely sure what compels her to undertake her search, but she trusts her instincts. Her curiosity affixes on the broad caterpillar before her. She is both horrified and awakened by the aggressive manner of what she sees. The raw power of this stubborn being overwhelms her. She flies toward him, unsure as to why; attracted and annoyed. ‘Is it really so hard to share?’ She speaks without thought. Sanson stops gorging and lifts his entire thorax in a proud display of prowess and strength. He directs his gaze toward Cassandra; a wonderful assortment of colour, her delicate wings like stained glass. Sanson cannot understand this feeling within him. His sole purpose is to eat, and yet the tug inside is not from his stomach. ‘Hello there’ he quite confidently says.

Cassandra finds herself lost for a moment, but the noise from the cocky caterpillar brings her to. She exhales quickly, releasing hot air sharply in disgust. ‘I said, is it really so hard to share?’ Surprised by this challenge, Sanson looks puzzled. He is accustomed to defensiveness, sure, but not defiance. He is taken aback. ‘Well?’ She asks impatiently. ‘Well what?’ Sanson is at a loss as to why such a beautiful butterfly bears such a temper, especially against him. His face grows warm, and he gazes expectantly toward the beauty. Cassandra scoffs, disappointed at the stocky caterpillar sat upon the half eaten milkweed leaf. Her wings flutter softly and she darts off in disbelief. Sanson’s eyes follow her as she effortlessly flickers off into sky. Happiness washes over Sanson, and for the first time he ponders as to whether there is more to life than milkweed. Perchance there is another indulgence. Sanson looks toward the great white pillows above and delves into thought. Who is she? Where is she going? The last word of that sentence rings through him, and like the overexcited first light of the sun peering out before the sunrise it dawns upon him; she is going.

- Fiction -

Where, I do not know; flight I cannot take. Neither can I follow; this boundary I cannot break. # Despite the escape from the morning’s argument that the sun’s afternoon glow brings to Cassandra, she cannot help but feel as though she did not give that caterpillar the chance she should have. Her frustration was lost upon him, and she couldn’t help but think there was reason for it. Perhaps his barbarian ways were unbeknownst to him. Maybe he saw it in a different light. Perchance this innocent butterfly actually liked the raw, instictive caterpillar. The sky embellishes a warm orange as the sun sets and Cassandra is left to reflect on the day’s encounter. The following morning Cassandra feels renewed. She knows that today she will go and see the squat fellow from yesterday and apologise for her impatience. With cause she takes flight toward the milkweed where they met. As she approaches Sanson a surge of knowing floods her. It is a feeling of content. He is busily chomping through the milkweed with a certain delight which brings her joy. ‘Hello,’ she says, a little hesitantly but with a smile she cannot hide. Shrouds of doubt fester in Sanson’s mind and he is slow to respond. He slowly raises his grazing head to look upon her. ‘Hello.’ The greeting does not bare the same confidence, and Cassandra can feel this. What have I done? ‘Uh, maybe you don’t remember me, but we spoke yesterday.’

‘Oh yes, yes we did’ ‘I wanted to apologise. I gave you no grace, I…’ ‘Thank you.’ Sanson cuts her off, shying his head back into the green balcony to hide his flushing cheeks. Cassandra is disheartened as she watches the caterpillar burrow back into his food. Perchance the feeling is not mutual. Cassandra’s feelings of hope begin to disintegrate; she cannot stay. Sanson collects himself in time to see her stained glass wings fade against the sun. She is going. Of course she is going. What use would a magnificent butterfly have for a mere caterpillar? Defeated, Sanson takes to the stem and coils a fine line of silk around it. Depression is heavy in his heart, and he feels on the borderline of metamorphosis. Inside he knows what he must do to truly satiate his hunger. And so he does. He closes his eyes for the final time and begins to moult. A strange feeling of fulfilment takes place as his emotions break the surface of his being and seep, hardening and forming a barrier of protection; a chrysalis. Emotions ablaze and unsatisfied, Cassandra returns. This time she is sure she gave the caterpillar his dues. She wants to close the ordeal, and say what she intended. She is unable to let the conversation go without such closure. Where is he? She hovers beneath the green island where they spoke, in case he is gorging on the underside. He is not. All that she finds is an elliptical green bauble, hanging like an ornament from the stem. The wave of an opportunity missed crashes down upon her. It is over, I am too late. #

- Fiction -

Day breaks and Sanson hauls himself out of his prison. He looks toward the sky’s cotton and gives a thankful nod. He is blessed with new life; able to overcome the barriers of his prior form. Sanson can feel it. He is with purpose now. A strange pride engulfs him, and omniscience guides him. He patiently airs his wings in preparation for his first flight; the one he has waited his whole life for. The warmth of the sun fills him with hope, for he is no longer a mere caterpillar. He too is a magnificent butterfly. He casts aside a caterpillars’ doubt and takes flight. His destination is unknown, but he knows what he will find at the end. He knows not her name, but he will know when he finds her. He searches for her. From dawn til dusk, he searches. # The sun is out, flaunting energetic yellow hues, and Sanson continues searching for her. It has been days. Hopeful and with purpose, he looks toward the white wisps above. They are fewer today, and yet somehow they mean more. He lowers his head and across the horizon he sees a plethora of colour; magical and vibrant. It is the colour of stained glass wings. His heart starts to canter, and at once his wings hasten. Sanson flutters with rejoice toward the assortment of colour. ‘Wait, wait!’ He cries out.

‘I was once a caterpillar; an arrogant, hulking caterpillar.’ Cassandra’s cheeks rise as she is reminded of the haughty caterpillar she once knew. In flight, she begins to bob and dance around him. The corners of her mouth turn upward as she is overjoyed that he has not forgotten her. She looks at his unfamiliar face, and sees his eyes are the same as those she remembers. Sanson continues. ‘And you were a butterfly; a beautiful, gracious butterfly.’ Again Cassandra’s mouthparts and her smile broadens. ‘I do not know your name.’ ‘Sanson. And yours?’ ‘Cassandra.’ They both gaze wondrously into one another’s eyes. ‘I’m so happy I found you,’ he says, and looking in his eyes Cassandra can tell Sanson means it. ‘And I, you.’ For the first time Sanson watches Cassandra land, and he docks beside her. The couple end to end, and anchor. A feeling of great content fills both of them. As partners and as one the pair take flight, this time in courtship; fluttering off to join the sky’s white canopy.

‘Hello, may I help you?’ ‘Yes, yes,’ Sanson says between breaths, ‘maybe you don’t remember me, but we spoke before.’ A mantle of familiarity cloaks Cassandra’s thoughts. Could it really be?

AUTHOR Aaron Collier, 21, Education Student The hardest thing for Aaron to say goodbye to his my iPod. He loves music and whenever he misplaces it he just can’t bear it.

3737 37

- Fiction -

‘I

don’t know what you think I can tell you,’ said Dana Skinner, holding her coffee with both hands like a shipwreck survivor. ‘Anything that might help our investigation, Ms. Skinner,’ Jane Reynolds replied, only briefly looking up from her notes. ‘Investigation? There’s nothing to investigate. He just came in and killed himself. There are enough witnesses.’ ‘All the same, I want to have everything in order. Was he a regular here?’ ‘Regular as anything. Any day he could get himself a feed from the volunteers, you’d find him here. He used to work across the street at the casino.’ Dana gestured as though the casino could be seen through the wall of the soup kitchen. The old wreck of a building stood like a gravestone driven through the heart of the city. ‘Are there any other regulars who used to work there?’ ‘Plenty. Find some poor bastard without a job, I’ll bet anything they used to work over there.’ Dana gave a little snort at her choice of words. ‘Bet,

eh? I guess that’s what got us in this trouble in the first place.’ ‘So some of the witnesses knew him?’ ‘Yes. I don’t know how we can help them. We’re volunteers, not psychiatrists.’ ‘Speaking of which, Ms. Skinner, do you know whether he was seeing anybody regarding his mental health?’ ‘Does he seem like the kind of guy who had money for that?’ ‘Of course,’ said Jane, clipping her pen to her notepad and standing up. ‘Thank you for your time. You’ve been very helpful.’ ‘Any time,’ said Dana, her eyes still focused on the space Jane’s face had previously occupied. Jane went to join the contingent of officers by the table where the body had been. Some sitting, some standing, they all wore expressions of boredom and were engrossed in idle talk. ‘Anything new?’ she asked. ‘Not much. Black male, aged 46, dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound

to the head. Fuck all to say about it. Happens a bit around the city these days. No jobs, no future, no hope,’ came the response of David Kenner, the commanding officer. ‘Just never this public,’ said another officer whose name Jane didn’t know. ‘It’s tragic, sure, but nothing to investigate. File the report and move on, Reynolds. We’ve asked the usual questions. We got the usual answers. No-one saw it coming and all that. Course they didn’t or they’d have stopped him.’ ‘Damn selfish, if you ask me,’ said the other officer. ‘I didn’t,’ said Jane, turning her back on the group. ‘Do you have an address?’ said Kenner. Jane turned back briefly. ‘No,’ she said, before making her way out of the kitchen. She heard Kenner mutter ‘no-one seems to have his address’ as she left. ‘Homeless,’ the other officer added. Jane made her way through the bored

- Fiction -

officers and their interviews being held at each table in the soup kitchen and out into the harsh daylight. The monolithic casino stretched out before her, straining the life out of the sunlight radiating upon its concrete. There was a throng of reporters to welcome the dead man’s body as it was put in the van. ‘It’, she thought, not ‘him’ any longer. Many calls for comment and cries of ‘officer’ rose up from the throng as they saw her in the doorway. She stood there for a moment and did nothing. She did her best to screen out the baying crowd and search for something. There was something off but she couldn’t tell what. It had drawn her senses but it was too obscure to note. She scanned her surroundings again. A loud voice in the crowd broke through her concentration. Unbidden, her eyes turned towards the sound. There it was; a man in the crowd who didn’t fit in. His clothes may once have been neat and elegant but were now too worn. He wasn’t with the rest of them. The unkempt figure was edging out the back of the crowd as Jane caught sight of him. She quickly walked around the crowd, and put her hand out, palm exposed, the message clear: no comment. The man was disappearing around the corner. She broke into a run, rounded the corner and saw him vault the vandalised wall of the casino’s grounds. She ran to the wall and did the same. Rolling out a landing, she saw him look to her and enter the casino, closing the door behind him. Jane wasted no time. She ran to the door. She opened it and her feet were knocked from beneath her. She fell through into the dark interior. ‘What are you doing, following me?’ came a voice from the doorway. Picking herself up, Jane drew a small torch and shone it in his face. ‘I’m a police officer. There’s been a death across the road.’ ‘Get that flashlight outta my face.’ Jane turned off the torch. ‘A man shot

himself in the soup kitchen. Do you know anything about that?’

‘We don’t know his name. He gave several to different people at the kitchen. Middle-aged guy. Used to work here.’

When they got there, she found a city within the city. The pokies were smashed and piled up as makeshift partitions and chairs. Blankets and mattresses were strewn about the place to form a communal living space. It was full of people lying around, the cloud of hopelessness hanging heavy over them.

‘That’ll be Don,’ said the man. ‘He would lie. He hated the name. Can’t really blame him considering this place. Surprised the cops would care. Jobless guys kill themselves all the time round here.’

‘Here you go, officer. This is it. This is where Don used to live. There’ll be a suicide here today, probably. There’s one most days here. This is what Don wanted to be seen. This is the hidden stuff he put out in the public.’

‘Not usually in crowded places.’

‘What did he think would happen from his death?’

‘Probably. Depends who it was.’

‘Yeah, well, that’s Don for you. Used to be a great host here at the casino. Theatrical, you know?’ ‘You don’t seem particularly surprised by it, sir.’ ‘I wouldn’t ‘cause I’m not. Everyone needs a purpose, I guess. He made that his. People give up and end things all the time with this city gone to shit. Don wanted to show it off. He said as much to me.’ ‘So he was some kind of suicidal activist?’ The man laughed. ‘Yeah, guess you could say that. He wanted people to look. He wanted people to not be able to look away.’ ‘He certainly managed that. He probably traumatised a whole room of people.’ ‘I doubt it. The way this city is, I think people have too many of their own problems to be traumatised by that,’ said the man. ‘Tell you what, why don’t you come with me? I’ll show you the rest of this place.’ They made their way through the old casino. Stained carpets and peeling wallpaper, broken glass and fleeing rats. They headed for the main floor. The place where magic happened, or whatever the old slogan was. Jane couldn’t remember.

‘I think he thought someone would come snooping around and find themselves here. And look what happened.’ ‘I have to let the station know about this.’ ‘They’ll just move us on again. Further out of sight. No-one here gets listened to. The country’s next president might be the guy who owned this place and look at it.’ ‘You’d have been better off with a journalist.’ ‘Maybe. But you’re a good source for one,’ said the unkempt man. Jane looked around her. She noticed children in the pokie city for the first time. There were pets there too. She looked at the man in his ragged clothes, seeing them as the clothes of the casino’s croupiers for the first time. ‘What do you want me to do?’ ‘I want you to tell the outside the story of the inside of the casino.

AUTHOR Liam McNally, 22, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Creative Writing)

Liam says the hardest thing to say goodbye to are those days when you’re almost nostalgic in the moment.

- Review -

Hannibal:

A Three-Course Banquet

Hannibal is a recently cancelled drama by American network NBC. It ran for three seasons and told the history of the relationship between cannibalistic serial killer Hannibal Lecter and his patient, Will Graham. It attracted an intensely loyal fan base but could never find its way into the mainstream of American television. It’s not hard to see why it never became a massive hit when one looks at its content. It delves deep into the machinations of a sophisticated psychopath in Lecter and Graham, a man haunted by his ability to empathise with killers. Graham’s gift is useful to the FBI in hunting down and capturing serial killers and is used to great effect by Jack Crawford, his colleague and friend. Graham’s ability is not without its dangers as it carries with it a great moral weight that troubles Crawford as he sees the harm it causes Graham to be so connected to the serial killers he hunts. This is a fascinating premise to a television drama and uses the source material of Thomas Harris’ Hannibal Lecter novels as reference points rather than adapting the narrative to screen. This puts viewers on a level playing field as familiarity with the novels will count for very little. Hannibal Lecter is such an iconic character in popular culture that everyone knows at least something about him. To see him in action—with his veneer of normality still fully in tact—taps into that fundamental tenet of suspense as set out by Alfred Hitchcock, building with a metaphorical bomb under a table that the audience could see, but the characters could not. Dr Lecter, the urbane sophisticate, is that ticking bomb. We all know he’s going to go off, but none of us know when. Hannibal pairs its gory narrative with beautiful cinematography. It captures the duality of its main character perfectly. A plain horror of a gruesome crime scene unfolds to a beautiful and artistic image as the killer’s mind is portrayed on screen. This series only entertains the most sophisticated of killers. This is the way of the show: to build something beautiful out of something grotesque. What is portrayed in Hannibal borders on the fantastical as it is heavily influenced by the perception of Will Graham, a criminal profiler who falls victim to his over-abundant empathy; an empathy that knocks down too many of the barriers between the shocking crimes witnessed, and Graham’s own psyche. It doesn’t help a great deal that his psychiatrist is a psychopathic and cannibalistic serial killer. The bouts of surreal imagery presented in the show work well to illustrate the mental illness Graham faces. The narrative takes jumps to exhibit Graham’s confusion in situations. The blurring of the lines between the real and the dreamt owes a great deal to the works of David Lynch. Bryan Fuller, the creative driving force of the show, said that in the planning stages he sat down and asked the question, ‘What would David Lynch do with Hannibal Lecter?’ The result is a surreal world of true and imagined things layered upon each other. Graham and Lecter grow closer over the duration of the three seasons, developing figurative and literal scars from their relationship. The term ‘bromance’ has been thrown at them on

many occasions and the connection that develops between them fills out the definition of it more over time. A friendship with Hannibal Lecter is never going to be without its troubles. Lecter’s manipulation of Graham starts as a killer toying with his prey but warps into a passionate new form. The second season features prominent analogies between Graham and water, and Lecter and fire. Fire cannot destroy water, but it can alter it. This is exactly what Lecter sets out to do. The analogy is further strengthened by Graham’s love of fishing. He seeks out imagery and memories of fishing to calm himself on occasions of great stress and mental unease. That Graham seeks out comfort in a form of hunting draws the parallel between Lecter and him even closer. The third season is where Hannibal becomes most intense, embracing the relationship the two characters have and placing it front and centre. The artistic flourishes become even more pronounced; occasionally too much so. Some scenes meld reality and warped perception, leaving the viewer not always certain as to what is happening. On occasion, this offers a deeper insight into the characters themselves and on other occasions, it obscures the narrative. Mads Mikkelsen’s decision to play Hannibal Lecter as the Devil proves a unique one. It makes a clear difference between the well-known Anthony Hopkins interpretation and this one. Lecter is an eternally calm manipulator. He seems always in control but sometimes something else is visible in his performance: his connection to Will Graham is a deep one. They could almost be friends. An unnamed creature visually portrays the devilish manipulation of Hannibal Lecter. A great black stag seen with feathers around its shoulders appears to Will throughout the series. It comes out of the discovery of a body impaled on the antlers of a stag’s head and the feathers of the shrike. The first case investigated in the series is the Minnesota Shrike killings. The two come together to form the stag that Will sees. When later, the Stag metamorphoses, it is into a form reminiscent of the Wendigo, a mythical creature in the legends of the Algonquian culture. The Wendingo is a malevolent figure representing gluttony and associated with cannibalism. The beautiful series of fantastical representations and meaningful imagery is often grotesque. This is the paradox of Hannibal. It is beautiful and horrifying. It is one of the most perfectly made series to ever hit television screens. Images such as Hannibal’s broken heart, the angels, and an unconventional musical instrument will not be quick to leave your mind. I would personally rate this the third greatest television show ever.

AUTHOR Liam McNally, 22, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Creative Writing) Liam says the hardest thing to say goodbye to are those days when you’re almost nostalgic in the moment.

- Review -

Where are our minds? The triumph of Mr. Robot Mr. Robot’s addictive & ambitious first season has the world paying attention to our TV screens and the world we live in.

Mad Men is gone, Breaking Bad is gone, The Wire and Sopranos have long since passed and we are left to ask ourselves, as television lovers, what’s next? What television giant will be next for us to obsess over, talk about with colleagues and fall madly in love with fictional characters? The answer to that might well be Mr. Robot. Mr Robot is a series which has just finished airing its first season on the USA network. Created by showrunner Sam Esmail, Mr. Robot revolves around Eliot Alderson, played by the magnetic Rami Malek, who lives in New York and works at a cybersecurity company by day, while working within a clandestine hacker group called Fsociety at night. Fsociety plans to overthrow the structures of capitalism, media and consumerism in modern society. Think of them as a not-so tongue in cheek parallel to the Anonymous movement. The series follows Eliot balancing his office job and his dangerous night-life, endeavouring to take down the global system of capitalism through cybercrime. Similar to Breaking Bad, Mr. Robot illuminates this balance by showing Eliot struggle to protect the people he loves and cares about from being hurt through his actions as a hacker. Cinematically, this show provides an absorbing and unique vision of New York rarely seen in television. Often New York is painted as an overcrowded metropolis, but Mr. Robot revels in the portrayal of its isolation and loneliness, meant as a parallel to the mental health of our hero Eliot. Much to its credit, this show is an exercise in looking at mental health which does more than break the fourth wall. You are watching it from the perspective of Eliot and how he views and interprets the world. For example, his company is referred to as Evil Corp because that is what Eliot cynically refers to this multinational as, as does everyone around

him in the world of Mr. Robot because you are meant to feel as if you are living inside his head. This show demonstrates a thrilling, paranoid and emotional commentary on the state of the world we live in, commenting on the themes of surveillance, privacy, technology, mass media and capitalism. This show is so current that it has seemingly preceded real world events of the year with commentary on the Ashley Madison Hack and the Chinese Stock Market Crash. Disturbingly close to reality, this series chose to postpone its finale after it was revealed that there were similarities in it to the tragic shooting of two reporters in Virginia late last August. But the real thrill ride is in the narrative and the characters. Eliot has a puzzling relationship with a mysterious character named Mr. Robot, played by the evergreen Christian Slater. With hints to Fight Club, there is a sense of mystery about the character Mr. Robot, who he is, is he even real, and what role does he play in Eliot’s life. You will find yourself going back and watching previous episodes to try and figure out the puzzle. Mr. Robot is a dread-filled, paranoid emotional odyssey gravitating around the trauma of a family history set in the backdrop of our troubled and anxiety-filled modern society. Before you pick apart the nods to Fight Club or American Psycho in the not-so-subtle subtext as tacky, understand that it comes from a place of adolescent nostalgia within the characters. This is reflective of a much deeper, darker yearning for understanding your personal arc when it is filled with nothing but pain and confusion. It is more a meditative comment on dealing with the trauma of the past being draped in darkness, rather than answering the question of who is Tyler Durden. In these technocratic times we have to question whether our technology, our

media and our institutions are our gods or our demons, and who will be the prophets to expose them. Mr. Robot believes that the bigger question lies in whether these mere mortals-turnedprophets should expose them, and as they make these choices do they metamorphosis into god, the devil or the better of our angels? A re-occurring question Mr. Robot asks is who really has the moral authority to take justice in his or her own hands in the world and does such a person even exist? It can be considered extremely close to a perfect first season, in what was one of the bravest, most ambitious and soaring first seasons of television in the last decade. Every now and then shows come along that remind you why we obsess over television on an intellectual, existential and emotional level, why we read the television blog recaps, why we listen to the podcasts about television, why we have these water cooler conversations. Its life affirming. As we check Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, hope that our Ashley Madison account didn’t get hacked and book our next Uber, we are left to ask in this blurred, dizzying world on the Information Superhighway, are we even real ourselves? It’s not that Mr. Robot has been meditating on our collective angst and ire to the state of modernity, it’s literally breathing it in and bleeding it out, holding up the mirror to ourselves as we ache and aggravate within. Mr. Robot comments on this in the most dazzling and surreal of ways. This is the show that we want right now, but before that, it’s the show we deserve right now when we look outwardly at our obsession and paranoia with technology, surveillance and privacy. AUTHOR Matthew Holding, 26, Master of Arts (International Relations)

Matthew says that the hardest thing to say goodbye to is his favourite TV shows, for fear that they’ll be rebooted poorly in 15 years time.

Phantom Pain I waste scratches of this shrinking pencil’s lead On a sty of crumpled paper piled high, and though I try I cannot weave your wonder with the words inside my head Words lack your flair; my page is bare—how can I say goodbye? I hear the gurgle of the drain, gargling thick rivulets of rain And rake the air with my fingers where your afterimage lingers Lightening flashes—I see your face, but I’m staring into space This empty place I must face through this paper and phantom pain People leave, but leave a mark, deep inside a person’s heart For kindness spreads but does not die, eclipsed in soul and eye So I will not say goodbye—no; because we’ll never truly part The rain clouds will disperse, and I will hence rehearse A name too dear—yes; far too dear for here: for verse

- Leeza von Alpen

Morning Approaches Morning approaches quickly, Turning my blistering heart to shreds But still it beats… For without it I’d be dead. Why are you leaving? What did I do? I was only thinking Of being alone with you... It was all a dream, I see: Of long nights and lazy Days. A dream of you and me… Now that fantasy has grown hazy. Outside the skies are blue, foretelling good times for me without you.

- Kayla Gaskell

Dear Someone I know sometimes the skies can get rough, but just hang on and be tough. I know we all have feelings that we suppress, and often this mundane world’s heartless. Do you have days where you doubt yourself, and times when you feel like there’s nothing that can help? Don’t let these unwanted thoughts ruin your day, it’s hearbreaking seeing anyone hurting in any way.

poetry

Listen to me, YOU are amazing in your own unique way Nothing can ever change that, no matter what they say. Believe YOU can do this, YOU can soar high, lose yourself into the sky. And in all of this.. Someone up there is looking after you, And promises to never let go of you.

- Marithe Solis

Headstone Dear headstone. You are the roof overhead of somebody who is safe now. I know this might seem bitter, or jaded, or a tiny bit maligned But the facts show there is the basement of the dead, the no-longer-feeling. There is you, the ceiling, And then there is the attic of mankind. Headstone, our world hurtles on like a hijacked bus But this world is in conflict For its convicts, that’s us, We are sitting backwards in our seats. We would rather look back at the people we have loved than forward at the people we might. Now—if strangers are just friends you haven’t met And friends are just strangers you have Then you, headstone, might say we’re just getting too caught up in the individual: that which is conditional in those who are invisible. Do you think we should find our way forward? Turn on the Sat-Nav, look at all the strangers we will have? No. Headstone, our world is your attic, But we’re all asthmatics up here And nobody’s dusted in years As the guinea pigs of language we live through metaphor But, really, who is that better for When we are taught that clearing the air means telling the truth And then we go and fail at that? We lie And then we lie about it being a lie And then we lie to ourselves about lying about it being a lie and somehow we aren’t appalled. And when the sky falls we will not howl regrets like terrible singers, we will run to the cemetery and we will point fingers. Headstone, I think the Earth takes the best of us because it fears the rest of us. We no longer look like the pictures in our files. Our hearts aren’t in our bodies On the contrary, You’ll find most of them in the mortuary! We are brilliant mourners on church corners We take out huge bank loans We give them you, headstone. We put our savings into your millimetre deep engravings. But no matter how hard we try to be particular, No matter what we write, the Earth will read, “This human cannot declare war,” And for the tiniest, most wonderful moment, the Earth isn’t scared anymore. So it might seem more pragmatic to close off the attic And pretend we were never here, But headstone, there is air to be cleared. Maybe you should send up that decently merry, recently buried lodger downstairs. I’m sure he’s qualified, I can’t imagine he’s occupied Maybe if we saw him out of his coffin we wouldn’t need to mourn him so often Maybe he could bring our hearts back up with him, if it isn’t too much fuss— Maybe then we wouldn’t be so angry. Maybe then we could learn how to face the front of the bus.

- Jess Miller

Complete the crossword and send a picture of your answers to stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au and WIN one of ten free double passes to Palace Nova!

ACROSS

DOWN

2. A ridiculously egocentric British DJ finds himself involved in a siege. (4 Words)

1. The wife of a lunch wagon owner and a drifter conspire the death of her husband. (5 Words)

5. A father redeems himself and turns on his former mentor as an empire falls…for thirty years or so. (6 Words)

3. A naval veteran encounters a religious cult that is not at all like Scientology. (2 Words)

8. A baseball manager uses computer analysis to formulate a team using a small budget.

4. British secret agent goes on violent vendetta for the attack on his friend and friend’s wife. (3 Words)

10. 1960s spin-off from successful British sci-fi. The first of two. (5 Words)

6. A convicted killer befriends a nun as he awaits his fate on Death Row. (3 Words)

16. Latest in TV and film sci-fi franchise, featuring debated ‘whitewashing’ of genetically superior villain . (4 Words) 19. An old Native American warrior tells a young boy the story of how a legend of the west began. (3 Words) 20. Extra-terrestrials make war in the Wild West. (3 Words) 21. With his wife in a coma and having prepared to leave him, a Honolulu lawyer reconnects with his children. (2 Words)

7. Probably Britain’s most controversial PM talks about life to a dead loved one. (3 Words) 9. A thriller telling the tale of controversial light-haired hacker. (3 Words) 10. Uncertainty is everywhere as a Catholic principal begins to question a priest’s connection to a teenager. 11. A film exploring a family in Texas in 1956. (4 Words)

22. Christopher Walken might not understand how watches work—going by how he wore one for a few years. (2 Words)

12. British retirees go to India and reside in a hotel. (4 Words)

23. Climate change hits early and for some reason attacks America first and foremost. (4 Words)

13. A sequel to one of the most iconic neo-noir films of all time. This time it’s oil, not water. (3 Words)

24. The story of several lives and their influences down the ages. Hugh Grant is a cannibal and a piece of music is written. (2 Words)

14. British-American political satire featuring swearing Scotsman spinning off from British TV show. (3 Words)

Crossword clues by Liam McNally

15. Animated film in which a new baby is born and the older babies decide he must be returned to the hospital. (3 Words) 17. Film that spawned countless online videos of Hitler reacting badly to things. 18. Nazi experiment decides to blow up Silicon Valley. (5 Words)

LEVEL UP

The End Of The World As We Know It In late September, I was invited to an innocent lunch at a friend’s house. Once we consumed enough nachos to feed an army (they were most delicious), the true purpose of this invitation was revealed, and a collection of card games unveiled. We started with Exploding Kittens, the renowned card game developed by Elan Lee, renowned game designer, and Matthew Inman, creator of the comics site The Oatmeal. The game is famous for having its Kickstarter campaign goal of $10,000 exceeded in just eight minutes. Published in July this year, it is designed for 1-5 players, with games running for around 15 minutes. It was a fun game, very simple to play and yet allowed for some strategic planning, and with the iconic art of The Oatmeal illustrator Matthew Inman, it was a delight just reading the cards. All players are dealt a hand of cards, each with a defuse card to defuse an exploding kitten card, of which there are a few in the deck. Every turn a player may play as many cards as they like but must end by drawing a card. It is essentially a Russian Roulette styled game, running until everyone has drawn an exploding kitten they can’t defuse, except for one player who is left standing. Some cards let you mess around with your friends by stealing their cards or forcing them to take multiple turns, or even blocking their actions if you really want to make enemies. Others let you peek at the deck and shuffle it to mix things up a little. Then there is the coveted defuse

which allows any exploding kitten that is drawn to be defused, however the kitten goes back into the deck to wait for another unsuspecting victim. It is a very competitive game, where everyone fends for themselves, and great to play over and over again, if only to see all the different sorts of amusing art you get in your hand. Exploding Kittens is simple, very light on rules, easy to pick up, and it doesn’t last for too long, with the main strategy being a struggle to hold the most defuse cards. I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for a quick and easy but hilarious party game, and is sick of Cards Against Humanity. The other competitive card game of worldending excitement that we played was Chrononauts, an older game released back in 2000 (but it didn’t really feel dated at all). It is designed for 1-6 players and games run much longer than Exploding Kittens. Chrononauts is a highly interactive game featuring 32 cards that form a timeline of major historical events from 1865, including the Assassination of Abraham Lincoln, to the Columbine High School Massacre in 1999. Every player is given an ID and Mission to instigate certain events so that they may go home or complete a task for the fictional time travel agency. Certain historical events act as linchpins, which can be changed to cause paradoxes that must be patched with an alternate version of history to stabilise the timeline. These

patches are often requirements to fulfil an ID and go home. There are also artefacts to collect as part of a mission, gadgets that act as time travel devices to change certain conditions or give a player more turns, and cards that let players steal artefacts from each other. The major appeal of Chrononauts for me was the timeline-altering chaos. You typically compete against all the other players to patch linchpins to suit your desired timeline, which meant in our game Hitler kept being assassinated, then saved, then assassinated, and so on. The Hindenburg disaster was similarly messed around with, and eventually someone decided to initiate WW3 to ruin everything for all the other players who needed the world to keep existing after 1962. Chrononauts was a difficult game to pick up at first, but ended up being very enjoyable, I would definitely recommend it for those of you who like complex strategy-based games, and it is well suited for an older crowd (15+) as the rules are harder to pick up, but it was challenging and interesting to see just how the timeline changed. We also managed to prevent WW3, which gave me a great sense of accomplishment. AUTHOR Kelly Guthberlet, 20, Bachelor of Science/ Education

Kelly says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is her bed in the morning.

2015 s

a t s e b This year had some great releases from a wide variety of artists; the return of Tame Impala with Currents, and debut LPs from artists like Courtney Barnett, Jamie xx, Georgia and Halsey. There’s too many to list, and at the time of writing this column many more are expected. With a few months left in the year it seems very early to be writing a ‘best of’ column, however here’s what I would consider to be the best male and female albums of 2015. Kendrick Lamar returned with his concept album To Pimp a Butterfly at the start of the year to worldwide acclaim. If good kid, m.a.a.d city was his biographical album, then To Pimp a Butterfly is his legacy album, considered a classic the moment it hit the shelves, and for good reason. On display is his best work as a lyricist and narrative songwriter, coupled with funk and jazz vibes. He and his many talented feature artists pay homage to early hip-hop and address many current political issues, including race relations in “The Blacker the Berry” and self-love in “i”, and makes them personal and relatable, without forcing an ideology. There’s plenty to say about this record as a work of art, but you should take the advice of every music review I’ve read on this album and give it a try. The first verse, nay, the first lyric on Natalie Prass’s selftitled album should answer an obvious question. Yes, this is a breakup album. But it’s beautifully crafted and mastered, standing apart from the more recent contemporary breakup albums. Her voice is quiet, delicate and moving, working with the instruments in total harmony and control of volume and intensity. The instrumental backings constantly reminded me of old Disney films, especially on the tracks “Christy” and “It is You”. Natalie’s lyrics are just as intricate, with carefully constructed metaphors hidden across the record. As for the best tracks of the year there’s also plenty to name. A favourite of mine since it’s release was “Ratchet Commandments” from American rapper Tink. I love everything about this track, from the absolutely dope verses and hooks (“Thou Shalt Not!”) to Timbaland’s production. However, one that will be near the top of every Hot 100 list (guaranteed) is “Lean On”. Major Lazer teams up with the Danish vocals of MØ and trademark samples of DJ Snake, which has led to the crafting of the hottest single they’ve ever dropped. (Dare I say, better than 2012’s “Get Free”?) The track is a simple, bouncy dancehall beat of repeated chords—the entire track has been on repeat for me ever since it’s release. These albums and tracks aforementioned will always have a place on the top of my iTunes library—at least until Peking Duk release the debut album we’ve all been waiting for.

AUTHOR & ARTIST Aden Beaver, 18, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Digital Media) Aden says the hardest thing to say goodbye to would be his left kidney or liver.

s m u b l

Northlane // Node

z Northlane is somewhat of a juggernaut in the Australian metal scene, with sold out tours, a large fan base and a #1 place on the ARIA charts. A band that is continually evolving, yet the release of their third album Node shows perhaps their biggest change to date. With a brand new vocalist in the form of Marcus Bridge, as well as a deviation in style, will they remain at the top of their game or will their reputation end up south? Compared to Northlane’s last record Singularity, Node features more melodic song writing and an increased amount of clean singing. There’s certainly not a lack of the heaviness we have come to expect from Northlane, as is the case in the absolutely crushing sections of the song “Rot”. Overall, however, there is a definite focus on the softer side, like in the mostly instrumental “Nameless” and the rather mellow “Weightless”. This change from hard-hitting metalcore may not be liked by the band’s entire fan base, but I thoroughly enjoy the change of pace, especially when we are currently saturated with a multitude of same-sounding generic metalcore. My favourite song on the album would be “Animate” which concludes the album. The lyrical themes of the song explores breaking away from the norm and being your own person, with the concluding line: ‘We’re not defined by a blueprint if we re-write the plans. So will you paint paradise with the stroke of an artist’s hand?’. “Animate” showcases what the band excels at: threading between heavier rhythm sections and lighter passages. The song also contains the catchiest chorus in any Northlane song to date. The big question many fans of the band will be asking is whether their new vocalist, Marcus, will be able to match the standards set by their old singer, Adrian. In my opinion, Marcus manages to blow Adrian out of the water in clean singing, however, he does lack some power in terms of his screams and growls. Overall, he should prove to be a worthy successor to Adrian. The song “Obelisk” is probably the weakest song on the record. It has off-putting mixing and production values compared to the rest of the album. It feels like the vocals overpower the song and not even the awesome riff that is played in the middle and at the end is enough to save it. The band re-recorded “Rot” so as to improve the mix of the song—if only they did the same to “Obelisk”. Northlane has undoubtedly crafted another fantastic album. The stylistic change may not suit comfortably with all the older fans, and there is the sub-par “Obelisk” which blemishes an otherwise solid album. However, I believe that they deserve their place as one of the bigger Australian metal bands, and I see them becoming even more popular in the future.

AUTHOR Anthony Bruno, 19, Bachelor of Computer Science Anthony says the hardest thing to say goodbye to is eating copious amounts of sushi at Tonsley.

FOOD REVIEW: SPATS COFFEE LOUNGE In keeping with the theme of ET’s final issue for 2015, I have decided to review what my friends and I consider a grand finale to a night out: Spats Coffee Lounge. You may be already familiar: Trip Advisor ranks Spats as the 6th best dessert café in Adelaide and a ‘must go’ destination. It’s located right on King William Road; a gorgeous two-story building nestled snugly between two shopfronts. If you haven’t heard of it that may be because Spats is predominantly a night café, and rarely opens during normal business hours. So I’ll give you a pass if you’ve missed this one—the tinted dark glass windows hide just about everything about the café during the day. At night, on approach, you’ll notice a red soft glow coming from their tinted windows. Everyone I’ve introduced Spats to have commented on this, jokingly referring to it as an Edwardian brothel or opium den. Upon entering Spats you’ll see exactly why the destination is so compelling; the whole café looks like it was decorated by a viciously trendy grandma. You’ll find cute little knick-knacks sitting on the fireplace, patrons sipping tea out of small teapots, and the walls decked out in a warm red. As well as some vintage art hanging from the walls, Spats has recently undergone a small makeover and now also displays the work of local artists. You will always be met by a friendly waiter or waitress, a couple of who, I believe, have started to recognise our troupe from the many visits. The booths are incredibly intimate at Spats, making this place a great date destination with the soft piano music and atmosphere. The menu has a wide range, with dinner, desserts, cocktails and coffees on offer, although my friends and I mainly stick to the desserts to finish off a night’s shenanigans. The

best (without a doubt) is their chocolate lava cake. A small but devilishly rich chocolate pudding that explodes when attacked, spurting a hot gooey river of chocolate. Another firm favourite is the punch and iced chocolates, always served with a wedge of pineapple and a chocolate freckle on the side, along with the cute little brandy snap baskets served with cream and strawberries. The drinks and desserts are reasonably priced for the quality, but the dinner menu can get pricey if you’re going for a two-course meal. As they say, however you pay for atmosphere as well as the food--and Spats is no exception. Seeing as Spats is open till ungodly hours (I believe 2am is the closing time on weekends) I recommend that you tired students take a study break for a coffee or cake, or even head up there for some quiet studying in an elegant atmosphere (as long as you order something). I’ve always wanted to go there on a late night writing jaunt, as it seems like the perfect out-of-university destination for a creative discussion, and absolutely nothing would beat discussing chapters of your upcoming novel over frosty chocolate milkshakes, right? Of course not. So the next time you have those late night sugar cravings and want to treat yourself to a Edwardian style decadence, head to Spats. You won’t regret it. Hell, you’ll probably find me there.

AUTHOR Bethany Lawrence, 21, Bachelor of Arts (Creative Writing)

When asked the hardest thing to say goodbye to, Bethany said, ‘After the release of Toy Story, I get so guilty throwing away ANYTHING. Thanks Pixar, you’re raising a generation of hoarders.’ Photos: Emma Toker

Which Ending do you deserve? What’s your genre?

Contemporary/ Romance

Who composes the soundtrack to your life?

Indie bands you probably haven’t heard of.

John Williams

Danny Elfman

Fantasy/Sci Fi /cool things. Your boyfriend, dog and the world’s president are in danger. Who do you save?

Do you brake for ducks crossing the road? The Pres Uhh...

Of course!

Boyfriend/ Dog/ Shapeshifting dogfriend

All three

A golden-eyed white wolf

A raven What’s your worst nightmare?

Dying alone

Living alone (cos everyone else died)

What is your spirit animal?

A Unicorn

Who is the best Stephen/Steven? Is this the real life?

Is this a dystopia?

Happy

No matter life’s ups or downs, in the end you’ll get the girl/win the race/save the rec centre and swagger off into the sunset happily ever after.

Spielberg

King

Yes

Bittersweet

You won the war but at what cost? Lives were lost, you have PTSD, but the regime was defeated and ultimately the world is a better place.

Yes

Tragic

You poured out your heart and soul but it wasn’t enough. It’s hard to see where to go from here but maybe you’ll find redemption in the sequel.

Is this just fantasy?

It was mario kart all a dream

You love to race aga Everything you just achieved and learned was entirely pointless because it all happened in your head. Don’t you just hate it when that happens? Me too.