FUSE 01 Gay Love Life and Politics (Girl Cover) by FUSE Magazine

CANBERRA’S NEW GAY & LESBIAN MAGAZINE

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HEALTH AND FITNESS CLUBS

We talk to openly gay ACT minister and member for Molonglo Andrew Barr about love, life and politics

Self Obsession : Are we too vain?

It’s fun in the sun at Girlfest, Australia’s premier lesbian event held on the Sunshine Coast Clean Feed : Dirty Politics You can’t keep a good moralist down

Camp-berra at Mardi Gras 09

FUSE REGULARS 06 What’s On in Canberra

FUSE01 APRIL 2009

CONTENTS

FUSE FEATURES 04

The Buzz : News & Gossip

Fitness : Do You Need a Trainer?

Op.Ed : The Face of the Future

18 22

24 PUBLISHER & DESIGN Lithium Innovation Pty Ltd EDITOR Alexander Thatcher

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Profile : Hair Raising

Fabulous Things We Love!

{www.lithium.net.au}

{editor@fusemagazine.com.au}

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Yasmin Element

BUSINESS AFFAIRS Christopher Powell

FEATURE WRITERS Nelida Contreras Brendan Dahl Abbey Jane Lanny K Erin Gallagher

Helen Stevens Stuart Poole Nic Proudman Rose Pappalardo Phil Schubert

Out & About in Canberra

Eye Candy : Arts

Film & DVD

CONTACT Advertising, editorial enquiries or letters Telephone: +61 2 6287 7125 Email: editor@fusemagazine.com.au Mail: PO Box 44 Waramanga ACT 2611

Money Shot : Finance & Business

Op.Ed : Oh, You Must Know...

Top Queer : MINI Review

Slogging

Ear Candy : Music

www.fusemagazine.com.au

All rights reserved. No part of the magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. The appearance, mention or likeness of any person or organisation in editorial or advertising in no way suggests sexual or political orientation. Photographs used to illustrate editorial do no depict the real lives, behaviour or sexuality of the models. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher. Submissions of text, photographs or any other material will be taken as consent to publish said material. So there!

Tranny Talk Dear Rose

FUSE 1

WHAT’S EDITOR’SON RANT

Welcome to the first issue of Fuse. Alexander Thatcher trying to look like a serious editor type guy

My eyes are somewhat bloodshot from the endless late nights at my computer and my voice hoarse from all the hooting I’ve had to do to get Fuse off the ground. But hey, looking back now I think it was all worth it. My partner and I arrived in Canberra just over six months ago. I was returning after being away for over a decade and for Christopher it was to be a whole new experience, being a Sydney boy. Canberra is a pretty special place for me, it’s where I was first posted as a young sailor, learnt to be a designer and, most importantly, it’s where I first came out and met my first gay friends. I have a real feeling of being home again. A part of me thinks that you don’t get a real appreciation for Canberra until you’ve been away from it for a while — but I suppose that’s like most things in life. When we first arrived in Canberra it was difficult for a new-comer to find community connections and we where surprised that Canberra did not have it’s own local GLBTQ paper or magazine. It started us wondering if we should maybe start one. This became particularly relevant when Sydney Star Observer and LOTL both decided that, in our current economic climate, we were no longer worth the cost of a courier… ‘go to the website,’ they said. So we decided it was time for the Canberra GLBTQ community to have its own voice. And here we are… Woo-hoo!

Christopher with his bunny Charlie

Yasmin Element burlesque dancer, hot chickie babe and Associate Editor

Our first issue is jam-packed with some great stuff and we’ve tried our very best to make it as balanced as possible in relation to content. If you think we are missing something important, then here’s you chance to change that. We’ll always be looking for people who would like to contribute to the magazine and website. I would like to extend a very special thank you to everyone that has already put in a tremendous effort to get our first issue off the ground. All our contributors who wrote their little hearts out, and to our advertisers, who’s support is very much appreciated. The magazine would probably only be half as good if it was not for my wonderful partner Christopher who is always pushing me to go that extra mile, and the fabulous Yas, our associate editor, who is nothing less than a bloody genius. Enjoy! Alexander Thatcher Send all letters to the editor to editor@fusemagazine.com.au

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Reflection + Functionality = Form Established in 1996, Form Haircutters in Kingston ACT, centre of Canberra’s Café District offers a high level of client comfort, quality customer service and the latest fashion trends in hair, whilst providing you with a ‘value for money’ commitment. Managing Partner/s Wayne Friend and Paul Granata, lead a dynamic and creative team of stylists whom share Wayne’s passion for the art of hairdressing and his ongoing commitment to education and awareness of the Hair Industry at both a national and global level. Upon arrival at Form, you are immediately greeted by the fresh, 25 Kennedy Street

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solutions ranging from hair cutting/styling, colour, and both in-house and at-home hair treatments.

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Nelida Contreras is a facebook junkie, a lover of words who would love the opportunity to tell the world your story, a mum of two very lovely cherubs, a servant of the public, and a woman who dresses as a man who sometimes dresses as a woman. She loves a good laugh, a good bit of dark chocolate and is madly in love with Uber Dyke.

FEATURE

Close & personal with

Andrew Barr By Nelida Contreras

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When Andrew Barr and Anthony Toms enter into their civil partnership later in the year, neither will be wearing a dress. When they first met, Anthony was visiting Canberra with some friends, ditched them in Civic and told the taxi driver to take him to a gay bar. The driver delivered Anthony to the Meridian in Braddon. That same night, Andrew Barr was making his first ever visit to the same place. Andrew had been out of his closet for a few months and, taking his friend’s advice, he ventured out into the gay world for the first time. It was to prove a very important outing. Like other love stories, the one belonging to Andrew and Anthony has some little miracles. The first is that at the time they met they were both with the same mobile phone company. The morning after the night before, Andrew timidly texted Anthony with a little message, and if they’d had different phone companies, the text would not have arrived. After 18 months of commuting between Canberra, where Andrew lived, and Newcastle and Wollongong, where Anthony lived, Andrew was offered a prestigious job with the newly elected Bracks Labor Government in Melbourne. He knew that if he took the job it would mean his relationship with Anthony was over, so he turned it down. By the beginning of 2001 Andrew had established himself in a great private sector job and managed to lure Anthony to Canberra. They moved in together into a one bedroom apartment in Braddon. These days they live in domestic bliss with their two four-legged children – Jasmine Toms-Barr and Marky Barr-Toms. Both cats have found them, not the other way around, and Marky (a very clever cat) has his own Facebook page.

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But this story begins in the dark halls of the Australian Labor Party, ACT Branch, where Andrew Barr is a mover and a shaker. At 26 years-of-age, Andrew was on his way to a stellar political career, having just being elected the President of ACT Young Labor. Six weeks after his election, he came out of his closet. He was not the first gay man in the ALP, but by the reaction he received from some unexpected quarters, you’d think that Andrew was the first openly gay person in the world.

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Everywhere he went people were talking about him.

During this difficult time Andrew found support from some very unexpected colleagues and friends, and was also saddened to lose friends over it. Andrew had known he was gay for eleven years before he came out, and in that time he’d had his share of relationships with women. He always wondered why he could be their best friend, yet have the worst sex of his life. After he came out to himself, all this made perfect sense.

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In that situation the ACT will then be able to pass similar legislation. According to Andrew, it’s all unfinished business. Social change, he says, is not easy. When he came out Andrew chose to leave his job as a Labor Party staffer because he was in such an emotional state. Every day he had to go to work with ALP colleagues and came face to face with people whose politics professed inclusivity and support, yet their actions were showing the exact opposite. Everywhere he went people were talking about him — about what he was wearing, about his haircut and mindless and unending gossip and innuendo about who he was sleeping with.

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Andrew is the ACT Member for Molonglo and has a long record of support for equal rights for gay and lesbian Canberrans; the reproductive rights of women; multiculturalism and the humanitarian treatment of refugees.

After six months things calmed down and Andrew took up a career opportunity with the Stanhope Labor Government, working on that Government’s law reform program. It was the first step back into the fold of the ALP for Andrew, who had been a life-long supporter and worker for the cause.

We have to cop the good with the bad. Hopefully the Government will bring these changes in with some compassion and a gentle hand. The Centrelink database will identify relationships that may not be known or that may not be ready to be known. There are times when Andrew feels pressure from the GLBTQ community. For instance, he’s been personally accused of being responsible for closing the gates at Black Mountain Peninsula. But that had more to do with vanadalism from burnouts than any other after hours activities. But back to the important questions. Andrew says he doesn’t want to be a politician when he’s fifty. His dream job then would be to run a coffee shop which also sells books and cds... by the beach. Either that or he’ll become one of those dreaded lobbyists, telling the politicians what to do instead of the other way around. The interview finished on two important points. Firstly, Andrew’s porn name would be Ruby Gordon (his first pets name and the first street he lived in) and he would turn straight for Myff Warhurst. What more do you need to know?

Now he is Canberra’s first openly gay member of the Legislative Assembly and Cabinet Minister. Yet, there are still some in the community who think he shouldn’t have a view on some things because of his “lifestyle”. For instance, some believe that he shouldn’t have views about children or young people because he is unlikely to have children of his own. When speaking about the current political climate in the ACT, Andrew is of the opinion that Civil Unions are unlikely to become law in the ACT while the current Prime Minister continues to occupy the Lodge. There is a possibility of this being revisited, however. If a State Government passes legislation, which takes the Relationship Register further than the legislation currently does in Tasmania and the ACT, the Commonwealth will not be able to do anything to interfere or change it.

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WHAT’S ON

Canberra April09 National Close the Gap Day 2009 Thursday 2 April Put this date in your diary now, pack your sunblock and show your support for closing the seventeen year life expectancy gap between Aboriginal, Torres Strait Islanders and other Australians. oxfam.org.au/events Canberra District Wine Harvest Festival Saturday & Sunday 4 & 5 April Drinkies anyone? Celebrate autumn at one of Canberra’s fabulous wineries. It’s a beautiful time of year when grapes are harvested and turned into glorious wine. canberrawines.com.au Daylight saving — ends 3am Sunday 5 April Put your clocks back an hour love! 23rd Annual Womens & Girls Fun Run and Walk Sunday 5 April 9:00am Just for the girls. A 5km fun run/walk beginning and ending at Stage 88, Commonwealth Park. Proceeds will go towards Marymead child and family centre. canberrarunner.com.au Gear Up Girl Challenge? Sunday 5 April Could it be dykes on push bikes? Are you ready for the Gear Up Girl Challenge? Join hundreds of other women in Canberra for this fantastic women-only event: with a choice of ride options, there’s no excuse not to get on your bike and enjoy a fun bicycle ride! gearupgirl.com.au

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Check out fusemagazine.com.au for a full list of what’s happening in Canberra including local and national GLBTQ events.

The National Folk Festival 9 to 13 April It’s boot-scoot heaven! The National Folk Festival is celebrated at Exhibition Park every Easter when the city is frocked up in its golden, autumn, best. folkfestival.asn.au Easter Good Friday 10 April • Easter Saturday 11 April Easter Sunday 12 April • Easter Monday 13 April Jane Austen Festival 16 to 20 April If you go for a bit of ‘Mr Darcy’ then the Jane Austin Festival is for you! Events held at various locations around Canberra. earthlydelights.com.au/Austen.html Pink Bun 23 April to 13 May An excuse to buy a delicious pink bun from Bakers Delight. Yum! 100% of the profits will be donated to the Breast Cancer Network Australia. Anzac Day Saturday 25 April Remember the diggers. Q Radio Every Saturday Evening Canberra’s own Lesbian, Transgender, Gay and Bisexual radio show. Funky music, community interviews, current news and reviews. Listen on Saturday nights, 7 – 9pm on 2XX, 98.3FM. HUSH — CUBE — BAR32 Keep up to date with what’s happening at Canberra’s queer night spots at fusemagazine.com.au

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By Alexander Thatcher

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I’m so vain, I probably think that song is about me…

Vanity and self-obsession is something that I think just snuck up on me and I can probably tell you the actual night it happened. I had only been out for a few months and my entire sheltered experience of being gay was based on my weekends at The Meridian Club (which was in its death throes at the time) and Heaven Night Club. My new found gay friends decided it was time to take me to Oxford Street in Sydney. I was excited to say the least. It was a Saturday night that I walked into The Shift Night Club. It was loud, dark and packed to the rafters with sweaty, toned and muscular bound alpha males. My poor little brain and eyeballs almost exploded from the rush of adrenalin and hormones. Later that evening this really hot guy that I had been swapping looks with walked up to my thumping heart, smiled and said, ‘You know, you’d be one of the beautiful people if you where just a bit taller.’ I was completely devastated. The very next day I joined a gym, got a better haircut and went shopping. As I immersed myself in this new found gay culture and my body shape changed along with attitude, my desire to be one of the perceived beautiful and popular became a major focus in my life. Before I knew it I had moved to Darlinghurst and was headed to an emotional place, where only acceptance of others would fulfill me — it was not going to end well and it’s something I still struggle with on a regular basis.

FEATURE

SELF OBSESSION I find it very interesting that usually when I try to make positive changes in my life it takes a tremendous effort, but for some unknown reason in this instance, I could change my whole personality and attitude in only a few months. It shows what can be done when you’re so driven and absolutely committed to something you want. When I was recently gathering statistics on the Gay and Lesbian social and spending habits, it became clear to me that I was not alone in my obsession and constant struggle for acceptance and that it had spilled over to a need too also have the best, latest and coolest stuff. Surveys show that Gay and Lesbians tend to be more focused on luxuries, leisure, entertainment and travel than their heterosexual counterparts. Gay men in particular spend up to a massive 600 per cent more on clothes and grooming products than the average Australian male… Oh my god that’s me! What does this say about us (or me in particular) and is it just a gay thing? I have a sneaking suspicion that lots of straight people are just as affected. If you look closely it actually seems that self obsession, vanity and the need for acceptance of others is something that our western society encourages and is most certainly a popular and emotive advertising tool. I was wondering if there is some good I can get out of all of this now. Looking back, although I’m still ‘somewhat’ vain; hang out at the gym; shop like some crazy person; and drink wheatgrass juice when I have time to grow it, I think that vanity can actually be a good thing in that it drives me to stay healthy. If I can just rid myself of my ego, which desperately needs others to validate me, I’ll be on the golden path — because how I look and what I own is not who I am. PS: I still wish I was a few inches taller :-)

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If you have any thoughts on this subject please send them to editor@fusemagazine.com.au

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NEWS & GOSSIP

The Buzz* AND THEY RECKON WE DO WEIRD SEXUAL STUFF! I can only think that it’s because of the heat. Recently a Queensland man broke into an adult shop and abducted an inflatable sex-doll called Jungle Jane. After snatching some lube and blowing Jane up, he then proceeded to have his way with her before abandoning her in the back ally... Sounds like a few dates I’ve been on. Apparently the man had also abducted five other innocent plastic lovers from around Cairns to have sex with on the spot. Method of entry — smash through walls and squeeze through tight holes — seems like pattern is appearing here. The police quickly caught up with Mr Plastic Fantastic as he had left DNA on the dolls and fingerprints on their faces.

HOLY JUMPING CATFISH ROBIN. BATWOMAN’S A LESBIAN! The big announcement from DC Comics at the New York Comic Convention — A lesbian superhero!! Batman will be taking a backseat in 2009 and handing the Detective Comics series over to Batwoman — a sexy, redhaired, crime-fighting, lesbian. Batwoman although killed off in 1979 will make a comeback. Billed as a ‘lesbian socialite by night and a crime-fighter by later in the night’, she replaces Batman, who was himself killed off in a recent issue of Detective Comics. She’ll be the publisher’s “most high profile title starring a gay superhero”. DC is planning for twelve issues featuring the openly gay superhero starting in June of this year. It gets us thinking, how cool would a Batwoman movie be!

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HAVE THEY GONE TOO FAR? One of Fox’s latest Family Guy episodes has angered the PTC — Parents Television Council. The conservitive group has filed an indecency complaint with the Federal Communications Commission against the show who found the content to be extreemly objectionable. Screened in the US, Fox treated viewers to everything from an eleven-way gay orgy to Stewie eating a bowl of cereal with horse sperm instead of milk and even a bestiality scene. PTC president Tim Winter in a statement printed in The Hollywood Reporter said “If that isn’t enough, the show’s leading character is also shown fanaticizing (sic) about his wife and moaning while a horse licks his bare behind. Clearly, the explicit content was not isolated to one instance in one segment of the show; it permeated the entire program.” Fox’s reaction? “No comment”.

LESBIAN AFTERNOON DELIGHT “There will be intimate kissing and dance scenes over five weeks as their relationship blossoms into love.” Have you been tuning in to Home and Away as policewoman Charlie Buckton falls in love with Joey Collins — who works on a fishing trawler? Hmmm. The Conservative family groups have and their not happy about it. Attacking Channel Seven, they say lesbians are not appropriate viewing in a PG timeslot. Apparently it’s ok for heterosexual couples to kiss on afternoon TV but not homosexuals, being we’re not normal and all. Pro-Family Perspectives director, Angela Conway said, “The plot lines that young kids and teenagers should be presented with should be about really authentic relationships that are not just sexualised.” It seems however that Psychologist Dr Janet Hall and actor Esther Anderson who plays Charlie Buckton disagrees. Anderson said, “You learn pretty much everything at school,” she said. “I don’t think it’s like I’m lifting the lid on something they don’t already know about”. “To me there’s no difference — love’s love. The fact that your partner’s the same sex is no different. You just want to be loved.” Psychologist Dr Janet Hall has welcomed the lesbian love plot, saying it allows families to discuss the topic. “Young audiences are basically aware of the whole gay thing anyway. All it’s doing is reflecting society,” she said.

GOODMAN LAW

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FEATURE

Girlfest09 {

Les-tralia Day

By Helen Stevens

on the Sunshine Coast

“Being able to provide an environment for the lesbian community in a way it has never been done before,” is the passion that drives Girlfest Managing Director, Nicci Madden. “I love the awesome energy that is created at Girlfest each year. Women of all shapes and sizes, all different styles of living and financial backgrounds come together for one weekend and none of that matters — they are all the same and all equal for that small window in time”. If you’ve been to a Girlfest event, you’ll know exactly what Nicci is talking about. Girlfest is the single biggest lesbian event held in Australia. Held over three nights and two days on Australia Day long weekend, women are entertained with a plethora of events in an exclusive all-women environment at the luscious Hyatt Regency resort at Coolum on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland. Girlfest is a unique combination of leisure and pleasure. It’s the best opportunity to relish in lesbianism, it’s a party, it’s sexy, it’s flirty, it’s sporty and it’s relaxing. It’s a reunion with friends and an opportunity to make new ones.

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I was out for only a short time when I first attended. For me and other women in a similar situation it provides access to the lesbian world in an open environment where real and sustainable connections can be made with like-minded women. Over 1000 ladies from all over Australia attended. Women travelled from Queensland and interstate metropolitan and regional areas. International guests from Denmark, the Netherlands and Canada celebrated our national weekend bender with us.

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Girlfest a fabulous festival of freedom and celebration

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Twelve Canberra women made the trek to the event. Some were regular punters and for others, it was their first time. And these Girlfest virgins loved every minute of the atmosphere. The popular 80’s dance bar with DJ Ish, day-time pool parties, Sunday night movies and the comedy night were all back in 09. The comedy night is the first glimpse of all women together in one space. It’s a chance to reunite with Girlfest friends, scope the crowd and make eye contact with potential lady lovers. A Girlfest comedy show veteran and MC for 2009, Julia Morris, reminded us in her high-energy style that “she’s not here to judge”. She kept the laughs rolling in between performances by Monica “my people” Dullard, Fiona McLaughlin and Jackie Loeb.

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My international friends learnt a new meaning of “Map of Tasmania” thanks to the Aussie themed humour of Hannah Gadsby. She left me with a stomach so sore I felt like I’d just pushed out a 100 sit-ups only far more enjoyable. New events added to the program for 2009 included Speed Dating, Wii Challenge, a karaoke bar, a solos club for women attending on their own and a variety of dance classes. All were a hit with girls, particularly the karaoke bar that saw Eliza’s Bar packed to the rafters. For ear candy, the talented DJ Sveta (Sydney) and DJ Neroli (Brisbane) kept us carving up the dance floor from Saturday night into early Sunday morning.

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Saturday’s poolside party was alive with girls dancing and cheering for Christine Anu and Deni Hines. Likewise, Bluehouse brought one goose-bump moment after another on Sunday morning. The empowering energy of women celebrating music they love is what makes Girlfest the, “fabulous festival of freedom and celebration of women that it is,” for Canberra girl Jen. I left Coolum feeling like I was walking on clouds and with a grin that wouldn’t move. Let’s hope the wait for the next Girlfest event isn’t too far away. Or perhaps it’s time for Canberra girls to have their own festival for women.

Story by Helen Stevens

Helen is an ex-Queensland, ex-Vic chick, who relocated to Canberra to further her career and studies. Now they’ve both gone down the gurgler, she’s still here for the proximity to snowfields and the wild nightlife. Helen’s worked and written for LOTL magazine in Sydney. She admits to liking Jenny Schecter, can’t wait to snowboard in North America and has a habit of bumping into things without noticing.

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FITNESS

DO YOU NEED A TRAINER? If you’ve ever been to the gym, you’ll probably already know how hard it is to stay motivated and maintain a good gym program that gets the results you’re looking for. If you’re anything like me, getting back into a fitness routine after all the fun of Mardi Gras is a major challenge. Some years it’s taken me a good couple of months to drag myself back into a regular program. I’ve often wondered if I should shell out a few bucks for a personal trainer to help me stay focused, and possibly introduce some new types of exercise like Yoga or Pilates to my current weights routine. To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure if what I’m doing is right for my current goals. I decided to ask Garry from Alive Health and Fitness to see what he thought on the subject. The first thing he said was...

Great champions have great coaches. Why should you be different? Tiger Woods never hits a practice ball without his coach watching. Amelie Mauresmo doesn’t go on the court for training without her coach. The Manchester United team do not go on the training field without the coach and assistant coaches there to support, push, motivate and create a consistency that converts to ingrained habits. If you want to be a “legend in your own lunchtime” why should you be any different from the world’s sporting champions? Having a trainer is a great way to reach your fitness and health goals. You’ll find those people with a personal trainer are more apt to accomplish their desired fat loss and muscle gains.

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Here are five top reasons why it works and why it can work for you: ONE

FOUR

Consistency. The number one way to achieve your targets is consistency. A lot of people find that unless someone is there to meet them at the gym, they will find excuses not to go. Having a trainer ensures you will get out of bed and into the gym.

Knowledge. When you train with a personal trainer you are exposed to an abundance of information. Take advantage of it. Your trainer should explain what muscles each exercise affects, what foods are good for you, how much rest you need, and so on.

TWO

This is information you can use for the rest of your life. If you have questions, ask your personal trainer. If they do not know, they are trained to find out the answers to your questions. Remember the old adage, “there is no such thing as a dumb question”. Learn and you grow.

Accountability. So, let’s say one day you fail to show up at the gym at your scheduled time. Your caring trainer will call you and make sure you are on your way. He/she will enquire about your cardio fitness, your eating regime, your sleep and work patterns. If you have expressed a desire to reach a certain goal your trainer will hold you accountable and with caring and commitment, make sure you stay honest to your direction and ensure you reach it. So whinging won’t cut it.

THREE Inspiration. Where does motivation come from? The answer is simple — from deep within us. A trainer’s job is to be the pilot flame of inspiration to ignite your fire of motivation. Sometimes you may not want to work out. Everyone has those days. A great trainer will lead by example. They will practice what they preach and in turn get you motivated as well.

FIVE Habit. A good habit takes roughly 8-12 weeks to fully establish. Once you reach that point you will hate missing your workouts. Stick to your programs and stop making excuses and you will have a positive habit and you will automatically let go of negative habits that may have held you back for years.

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If you would like more information about a fitness trainer, Garry Hart can be contacted at Alive Health and Fitness Clubs on 6295 9500

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Story by Nic Proudman

The Face of the Future? {

WHAT’S ON

OP.ED FUSE

Now call me old fashioned, but for the past 20 years (my entire life) I’ve generally considered some things as quite gender specific — my prime example in this case being make-up. It all started with a friend of a friend. I was a little surprised when I noticed he was wearing a number of cosmetic products. At first I thought it was a little strange, I mean I’d always thought that make-up was something for the ladies? When I asked my friend about it he simply shrugged and told me that lots of guys do it. So, I did a little asking around and soon discovered that he was right. It took me no time at all to find a number of young gay men who were willing to preach the benefits of a little foundation and eyeliner. It seems to be that there are a few things that they all agree on: foundation is an absolute must for a night on the town; there’s nothing wrong with a little eyeliner or mascara to accentuate your eyes; and there is no shame in walking into the local chemist or Myer and buying it straight off the shelf. The most interesting thing I found was that all these guys said the same thing when asked why they choose to wear cosmetics; all of them felt that it is something special. It makes them feel good about themselves and therefore gives them greater confidence and as such, they have a lot more fun. So I’m wondering, am I falling behind the times, is this just another step into the 21st Century? Or is this gender equality gone mad? In my opinion you should do whatever floats your boat!

I’d love to hear some feedback, so feel free to write into Fuse at hello@fusemagazine.com.au with any thoughts or opinions on this subject. ~ Nic

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FUSE PROFILE

HAIR RAISING

Sometimes we come across quiet achievers that always seem to be out and about making a difference. It’s a very cool thing. After chatting to Mest Hair coordinator, Kirstie , I discovered that ‘Doves and Ribbons Day’ was just the tip of the iceberg — it seems that Mest is often more busy raising either awareness or money for good causes than cutting hair. I was impressed that Kirstie doesn’t make a big deal about their efforts. I was excited to hear that apart from raising money, Mest are also keen to support the art scene in the ACT—something close to my own heart.

Recently on a beautiful sunny afternoon in Manuka, Mest Hair held their second World AIDS Day event, ‘Doves and Ribbons Day’. There was some funky live music; lots of interesting stalls; deliciously smelling food; and a huge raffle with prizes donated by local Manuka traders. I actually won a great prize from the local flower shop and am now the proud owner of a very lovely Bonsai tree. The day raised close to $3000 — an awesome effort. As World AIDS Day coincided with Stop Violence Against Women Month, all proceeds raised were donated to OzCots, a Canberra based organisation founded by Despina Voudouris that helps raise money for AIDS affected orphans and their families in Cotlands, South Africa.

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‘Make your Mark’ is an idea brought about in conjunction with Canberra Arts Marketing and is a celebration of local artists and also a chance to promote and encourage the arts community in Canberra. The first event in 2007 was an exhibition with bodypainting, belly dancing and temporary tattoos designed by local artists. The exhibition was so popular that ‘Make your Mark 2’ was the opening event for Canberra Living Artists Week 2008. It featured local photographers both amateur and professional to take pictures of tattoos and their own unique take on body art. This event was another huge success, with over 300 people attending. Kirstie said, “It was fantastic to see so many people turning out to support local artists”. And just when you think Kirstie may need a break, she’s off organising another fund raising event. ‘Mest@Parlour’ which was held on 11th March, was just another successful evening of fun, fashion and fundraising. The hair and fashion show was held at Parlour Wine Room. The evening showcased Autumn/ Winter 2009 clothing from local boutiques, as well as the latest looks in hair styles under the artistic direction of Byron Turnbull. All proceeds went directly to the National Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Three cheers for Mest!

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If you have a fund raising event coming up, contact hello@fusemagazine.com.au ~ we’d love to help out!

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FABULOUS THINGS

We do love to shop! It seems that shopping has become almost a staple of life in our modern society. For some it’s a love/hate relationship and for others it’s as important as the air we breathe. These are some of the fabulous things we love.

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SETGO URBAN ACCESSORIES I know we should all buy Australian made brands, but hey, some things are just too good to pass by. Today’s guy carries way too much stuff: keys, wallet, mobile, MP3 player, headset, camera, maybe even a game player to pass time. Some bags are a killer on your back, but everything is at arm’s reach with the Setgo line of urban accessories. There’s a lot of utility in a very sleek, sexy, masculine package. Order direct from setgogear.com in New York. USD$80

GEORGE NELSON BALL CLOCK This fabulous fifties styled wall clock was designed more than half a century ago, in 1947 by George Nelson. It’s probably the most recognized wall clock in modern day history. Although originals are hard to come by replicas are now available. Lifeinteriors.com.au $99.00

FOR THOSE SPECIAL NIGHTS Hmmmm... so soft and sensuous against bare skin. Choose from furry and playful or silky and sexy. Loverlays Overlays will embrace you and your partner in skintillating pleasure. Loverlays.com.au $99.00

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ROBOT WATCH Don’t like wearing a wrist watch? Well you can’t go past this extremely cute key-chain robot watch. Not the best made time piece around, but at $25 from Freedom you can always get yourself a new one.

LET THERE BE LIGHT When I first turned the Firefly lamp on I stared at in awe for an hour. The Australian made Electric Firefly is designed along timeless principles of fractal and sacred geometry; the forms of nature are expressed in a modern medium. It’s extremely captivating and beautiful. From $60 electricfirefly.com.au

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THINGS

FUSEFREEBIES

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SPREAD IT ON BABY! Only one thing can make this Australian made Deluxe Body Chocolate taste better and that would be a body to eat it off! $18.99 online at sensuous.com.au

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DICK TRACY A boyhood dream has finally come true. It’s the world’s first 3G wrist watch video phone from LG and it’s even better than Dick Tracy’s. You can even search the web and download films and music. It will probably set you back about $1500 when it lands in Australia.

SIZE DOES MATTER! The world’s smallest music player is also the world’s first talking one. The hot new iPod shuffle is jaw-droppingly small. It’s half the size of the previous generation, yet there’s room for so much more -- with 4GB of storage, it now holds up to 1,000 songs. From Apple $129

OZFACTOR Stunning girls Bondi print swimwear from ozfactor.com, feature stylised nautical graphics and romantic typography, hibiscus flower and 50’s pin up girls. An essential in any beach bag and could be yours.

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COCKSOX An Aussie icon! Hot and sexy cocksox swimwear gives you that added support and lift needed to make you a proud man!

Would you like a FREE pair of these popular swimwear brands on your bod? Log on to fusemagazine.com.au and check out the Fuse freebies page for your chance to pickup one of these hot items.

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OUT & ABOUT

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Cube is located in the heart of the Civic district, downstairs from Antigo’s cafe. 33 Petrie Plaza Civic, Canberra City www.cubenightclub.com.au

CUBE where the party is!

More than a nightclub...

Cube is a home away from home with a sense of family so unique it cannot be compared. Canberra’s premier gay venue along with ARIA accredited resident DJs provide a mix of music beyond the charts. With a décor featuring beds, a two way mirror, lockers, mosaics and loads of poufs to sit on, there’s an ‘anything goes’ attitude and a certain open-mindedness that smacks you in the face often before you’ve even walked in the door. Amazing theme parties such as Homo High, Drag Queen/King Idol, White Party and Moulin Cube, along with dancing poles on the centre stage, mirror balls, mirror posts and mirror men, Cube makes for a cocktail of interest and fun – shaken not stirred – ensuring a night to remember every time. Above all, Cube boasts a zero violence policy within the club ensuring the safest clubbing experience possible. Like the carousel located out the front of the club in the heart of the City, just come in and enjoy the ride. Take a break from the everyday; learn to play the gay way and party Cube style for a night. From Thursday to Sunday you can paint the town rainbow before the weekend starts and well after it’s over. At Cube we don’t care where you’ve been before..

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WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON! Friday 24 April

MasQUEERade

From 9pm till 5am Come wearing a mask for FREE entry and awesome prizes for best costume. With very talented, DJ Peter Dorree.

Every Thursday Night

Karaoke

From 9pm till 11pm Cash prizes!!! Two-for-one basic spirits and tap beer

Cube Sunday

Every Sunday, 10pm till late with DJ TJ

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OUT & ABOUT

Hush Lounge is located at the corner of Launceston & Irving Streets Phillip www.hushlounge.com.au

THE

HUSHLOUNGE You absolutely have to experience this venue & vibe!

The Hush Lounge is a unique new lounge bar in Canberra for gay guys & girls, trans-genders, bi-sexuals, queers and their straight friends. Fitted out with comfortable lounges and funky artworks, it is a venue that offers you something really special. The ethos of The Hush Lounge is based on a return to good customer service, a safe place to get together with like-minded people and party, fuelled by reasonable drink prices! Come and enjoy a live band, an exciting show, or just relax in fantastic surroundings, having unpretentious fun. Hush has a well-stocked bar, an outside beer garden, dance floor and a stage for our fun-filled shows. Hush is an ideal venue for your next party, function or celebration of any kind, with a range of catering options available. Our private nooks; cordoned off by sheer sexy curtains are fabulous for a VIP party or just some privacy.

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WHAT’S ON! Friday 10 April

Chicks Rock! The inaugural Chicks Rock! concert event will be hosted by Hush Lounge on Friday April 10, 2009 (Easter Friday). Adelaide based all-girl punk band, Legless will headline the event and will be joined on the evening by local acts, The Glaciers and Mudpie Princess (formerly ‘GiLF’) for a jampacked evening of chick-heavy rock, punk and party! Doors open 6pm! Tickets on sale from monday 16 march, available direct from hush lounge. $15 pre-sale or $20 at the door. Saturday 18 April

Canberra Kings This group of boys formed the Canberra Kings along with a few other women who had previously performed. The performance on the 18th will see the return of several of these boys along with some “new boys”. It is likely that there will be several group numbers as well as individual solo pieces. The show will be a bit suave, a bit sleezy and a bit slinky with some country charm. Tickets $10 at the door Doors open 6pm!

HUSH Sundays Chill out with live bands every Sunday afternoon from 2pm.

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OUT & ABOUT

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Across the week Bar 32 plays Indie, Pop, Rock, Dance and much more. A friendly atmosphere with great Bar staff and Security.

THE LINE UP THURSDAYS Always something new every Thursday, check web site www.bar32.com for our weekly events. FRIDAYS Friday is REV Club night featuring Indie-Pop Rock Alternative music. Request your own songs on the video jukebox from 8.00pm-10.00pm then our DJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take over till way late! SATURDAYS Saturday night Shakedown sees an awesome combination of Indie, Alternative and Dance music. Bar 32 brings their newest night to the punters of Canberra. Following the rampant success of REV comes Shakedown making Saturday nights in the capital lots more fun. A nip of Indie and a dash of Alternative topped up with Dance makes for a great musical cocktail to be enjoyed chilled, warmed or swished around the place.

Canberraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s home of

alternative music

Bar 32 is perfect for functions; why not hire the upstairs lounge with bar and dance the night away. Bar 32 is at 32 Northbourne Ave in the heart of Canberra City in the historic Sydney Building Visit www.bar32.com and become a VIP member.

VIP members enjoy Long Island Ice Teas for $7! The Canberra Fasterlouder kids will be often seen galavanting around with their cameras and notepads.

Bar 32 32 Northbourne Avenue (Sydney Building) Canberra ACTION bus stop Number 10 is right outside our front door. Phone: 02 6162 3232

Indie + Alternative + Dance = Shakedown Saturday! FUSE 27

’ ALWAYS FUN G ISN T N I C N DA THE LIFE OF THE DANCING BEAR

The sorrow of the bear dancing begins in the forest where the cubs are stolen from their mother at less than 4 weeks old and the mother is killed. The traumatized cubs barely survive the rough handling they undergo as they are moved in sacks from one trading market to another. Those who survive and reach the Kalandar villages have their canines knocked out, a brutal castration without anaesthetic; a red hot iron needle thrust through their tender muzzles and a coarse rope inserted.

They will now spend the rest of their lives tethered to a short rope, led through hot dusty streets of India, beaten and starved to perform unless we step in and help them.

CUTTING THE ROPE Our aim is to rescue every last dancing bear from the streets of India and to ensure that this cruel tradition ends forever. To date over 470 bears have been rescued and have found safety in spacious sanctuaries, and Humane Society International is working to establish a well equipped veterinary hospital, complete with dental suite and full time vet staff dedicated to their care.

HELPING THE PEOPLE As important as the rehabilitation of these rescued bears is, it is equally important that we end the cycle. Bear dancers are very poor and most of them feel that if they could find a kinder way to survive, they would. We offer them that chance by helping with start up costs and training to set up alternative ways of earning a livelihood. We also make it possible for them to send their children to school, and the women receive vocational guidance to help them contribute to the family income, ensuring that the family has other options in life besides bear dancing.

Help stop the misery of the dancing bears It is only through the generosity of people like you that make this work possible — for the bears, for the people and for the habitat the bears rely on. Thank you for caring about the bears who thought they were forgotten. Yes! I would like to make a donation of $500 $250 $100 $50 $25 Other $___________ to Humane Society International Inc. Donations of $2 or more are tax deductible Please send me more information on Humane Society International Inc. Please send me more information on how to become a regular donor of HSI My cheque/money order is enclosed Please charge $__________ to my

Mastercard

Visa

Amex

Dr / Mr / Mrs / Ms / Miss First Name ___________________________________________________________ Last Name ____________________________________________________________ Address ______________________________________________________________ Suburb _______________________________________________________________ State _________________________________ Postcode ______________________

Card number

Phone (H) ___________________________ (W) ___________________________ Cardholder’s Name ________________________________ Expiry _____________

Mobile ________________________________________________________

Signature _____________________________________________________________

Email ____________________________________________________

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Please send your completed form to: Humane Society International Inc. PO Box 439 Avalon NSW 2107 Australia • Tel (02) 9973 1728 • Fax (02) 9973 1729 Freecall 1800 333 737 • Email admin@hsi.org.au • www.hsi.org.au

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By Alexander Thatcher

MORALIST down! Censorship has always been a contentious subject and if you think it’s ever going to go away then you’re living in fairyland (which from all accounts isn’t that bad, but we aren’t talking about that kind of fairyland). There always seems to be somebody who thinks they know a better way for ‘us’ to live. And the tools used to disseminate this mantra are often hidden beneath the call for family values or religious morals… as if we don’t actually have any.

FEATURE

YOU CAN’T KEEP A GOOD

Peer-2-Peer and online dating sites such as Gaydar, Gay/Lesbian Matchmaker, and Gotagetagirl would all be blocked. Coming out… well not on the internet anymore. Many queer websites dealing with this and with sexual health issues would most be blocked and the list just goes on. Heaven forbid you type any word that contains ‘sex’.

…Which brings me back to the moralists. In politics, individuals are always looking for something to further their own agenda. We all do it. Unfortunately some people’s so called ‘good intentions’ are not what If you stop and think about this they seem. A ‘clean ‘clean feed’ for a moment, as far as feed’ disguised under ...we would join countries like it affects the GLBTQ community at the banner of ‘save China, Saudi Arabia and Iran. large, it’s really quite insidious. In the little children’ is an effort to get mainstream Australian families on board, the Government really just another tool used by hard says that the filter’s main aim is to censor material that is ‘harmful and line religious and moralist groups inappropriate’ for children. But is it really all about the little children or to censor the internet for content is that just propaganda because what the filter would really do is far that they believe is not suitable — more reaching than you may think. Mandatory across-the-board internet and let me tell you, that includes censorship for every internet connection, with no opt-out facility, would ANYTHING gay. mean we would join countries like China, Saudi Arabia and Iran and let me ‘Clean feed’ may all seem dead tell you, these are not good holiday destinations for anyone with different in the water but let’s not let our sexual orientations from the norm… Look I can use fear as a tool too! guard down yet (or ever). The ‘Inappropriate content’— It’s a very broad term. Sounds awfully flexible Rudd government could still use to me and who decides on what that is anyway — Stephen Conroy, regulation rather than legislation Steve Fielding, Nic Xenophon, the Greens? God knows? Or does she? to censor gay and lesbian content Remember the bad old days when the Catholic Bishop’s man in the on line. As long as there are Senate, Brian Harradine had balance of power? He basically ordered up governments and politicians there the censorship regime in the Senate to any government who needed will be duplicitous agendas and our his vote on other issues. Obviously you can say goodbye to any ‘adult rights to sexual freedom and choice content’ online if Harradine’s successor, Senator Fielding has the final say. will always be under threat. The Federal Government’s proposed internet ‘clean feed’ courtesy of Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy, Stephen Conroy, seems to have finally been flushed down the toilet where it belongs. But it’s important to remember that sometimes that half flush does not work so well and things have a habit of floating back up to the surface.

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Just in case you hadn’t noticed yet, another iconic monument opened in the nation’s capital over summer — in fact the most significant construction to be built in the Parliamentary Triangle since Parliament House in 1988. The National Portrait Gallery was designed to work on a scale allowing visitors to relate to the intimate, human-sized portraits in the same relative proximity as artist was to subject. For this reason you will find only one floor of exhibition spaces, with bite-size corridors and rooms of artwork that don’t leave the visitor lost in cathedral-like spaces, or with the feeling that there is just “one room too many”. Ross WATSON, Ian Roberts (after Coypel 1709) 2003, oil on composition board. National Portrait Gallery collection

Given the depth of stories on display about both sitter and creator, there’s a lot to absorb in each room. Although smaller by comparison with established national collections, the National Portrait Gallery already owns work visitors will be familiar with, such as Howard Arkley’s fantastic take on Nick Cave. Regular commissioning of portraits is well under way, with featured stars such as Rolf Harris occasionally turning up in person. Accomplished gay and lesbian Australians are represented as artists and subjects – Missy Higgins, James Gleeson, James Houston, William Yang, Patrick White, Molly Meldrum, and Robert Dessaix. Ross Watson’s recent painting of Ian Roberts hangs in the permanent collection as their first image of Australia’s most well known ‘out’ gay sportsman. Ian Roberts (after Coypel 1709) shows a distinct male physique familiar in Watson’s paintings and photographs, which have been described as ‘homoerotic contemporary realism’. Watson’s highly sought after paintings are of finely sculpted semi nude males placed out of context, often reworking classical paintings by masters such as Caravaggio, or in this case Nicolas Coypel’s Abduction of Europe (1727).

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By Brendan Dahl

EYE CANDY

THE LOUNGE ROOM OF CANBERRA

One of Watson’s first sales at age 25 was to Elton John, followed by a number of high profile patrons that have led to an international career and a Melbourne-based solo gallery for the artist The subject of a number of Watson’s series of artworks, Ian Roberts offered to pose nude to symbolise his shedding of, the Superleague celebrity image. For me a standout is the large 1998 painting of Michael Kirby by Ralph Heimans. The portrait captures a cursory glance somewhere between light hearted and stern, from a man more focussed on improving human rights and ethics next door at the High Court and internationally, than stopping to have a portrait painted. Having just retired from High Court duties might give him time to see it in situ during regular stays as Visiting Fellow for ANU Law. He’s also found time to create a personal website about the ‘great game’ of Australian law michaelkirby.com.au My first visit to the new Portrait Gallery surprised me. I had not expected it to be a stirring experience, serving as a reminder that a strong sense of self is linked to a healthy collective identity, which depends as much on the passion and daring of individuals within a group to stand out, as to our ongoing value and celebration of their achievements. Our own self-portraits need not have a limited frame. Cate Blanchett’s looping video effectively makes this point, “who I am is constantly changing” inevitably shifted by internal and external forces. During the time the Portrait Gallery was temporarily housed in Old Parliament House I’d been circumspect about the need for an additional memorial presenting ‘Australian identity’ in Canberra—something you might experience in any current ‘national’ gallery, museum or library. However, the building’s physical reality has made the original Portrait Gallery ideal to fuse history, stories and art more easy to appreciate. The current display is an eclectic mix of acquired, commissioned, and borrowed art from Australia and overseas—a unique outing certainly worth a visit.

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By Helen Stevens

FILM

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Canberra premiere of local lesbian film With a turnout of 350 people—many from the local GLBTQ community— Down Dere productions screened its Australian premiere of Lightswitch in Canberra on Friday 27th February. Shot in Canberra and Bateman’s Bay on a time trial winning eight days, Lightswitch shows us what happens when two women randomly meet and find themselves attracted to each other. Co-writers and producers, Natalie Krikowa and Penny Glasswell, Director, Emma Keltie and Clare Ellis (sound design and recordist) all grew up in Canberra, so producing the film locally was a sentimental connection for them. It also gave them access to shoot on a shoestring budget. Kylie Watson, best known from Home and Away, is convincing as an independent, chivalrous motorbike rider with a secret. She randomly meets and ‘rescues’ the injured Danielle, played by Lara Dignam (Veiled Existence) who is a ‘princess’ with writer’s block. Natalie, producer of Down Dere Films, says they cast Lara in the role to challenge the stereotypes of what a lesbian ‘looks like’. Natalie says, ‘How many people would think Danielle is gay if they saw her? And the point of that is to break those stereotypes’. After their first meeting, Danielle and Shauna make no plans to reunite. Instead their synchronised visit to a supermarket finds them wondering what might happen between them.

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Lightswitch

The two set off for a day at a NSW South Coast Beach (shot at South Durras). The scene of the women driving on the highway touches on the Aussie tradition of travelling to the beach for the day. Director Emma has provided us with some innovative shots throughout the film, particularly the sunset scene. What ensues is a lesbian love affair that shows women don’t always say what they feel, and the struggle between keeping it casual vs embarking on a deeper relationship. Natalie says she wanted to show this situation between two women because she thinks it’s underrepresented in cinema. She said, ‘It’s real and highlights what can happen randomly in life as we go about our lives’. For me, the reality of how quickly women become attached to each other is embarrassingly accurate and touching. As Natalie says, ‘You’ve got to make it gritty!’ Look out for more quality shorts from Down Dere Films. The next big screen showing will be in Sydney in May. It’s also available to order via the website www.lightswitchthemovie.com.au

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DVD

Pure cornball vulgarity! Apparently half the previous cast didn’t want to be typecast as gay — or maybe they just saw the first movie. Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild features a mix of new and old faces playing largely the same random characters as its predecessor. This is no Scorsese masterpiece; it is of similar ilk and budget to Another Gay Movie including cameos from a variety of gay pop personalities including RuPaul, Perez Hilton and Brent Corrigan to keep it bubbling along. It’s a colourful story that follows four young gay guys on spring break in Fort Lauderdale where unsurprisingly the idea is to get laid, with regular tally-counts across the cast. Sexual references are rife, as well as incredibly camp acting at every corner. The sex scenes are plentiful and the film definitely earned its R18+ classification in the sexual simulations department. Best not watch it with the door shut and the sound up or your housemates will think you’re busy making your own solo disco references.

Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild! By Phil Schubert

A storyline lightly based on youthful competition in spring break activities, musical numbers from pubic lice, plenty of cute sound effects and an extended singing dancing watersports sequence all make for charming interludes. The product placement is cute, if for no reason other than enhancing the pop value, if that wasn’t already fairly questionable. Drag queens are everywhere, but they keep proceedings fairly light. Have a glass of something stiff, don’t expect too much and you’re guaranteed a giggle or two.

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Left: The Boys Get Crabs. Below: The very cute Brent Corrigan is Stan the Merman. www.anothergaymovie.com

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Compact, quiet and elegant, this revolutionary line of personal massagers are the very best quality. Uniquely created by a woman to naturally fit a womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contours and deliver ultimate stimulation. Feel good about yourself.... start today!

Waterproof | G-Spot Delight | Classic Fun | Pulsator

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Sex Positive explores the life of Richard Berkowitz, a revolutionary gay S&Mhustler-turned-AIDS activist in the 1980s, whose incomparable contribution to the invention of safe sex has never been aptly credited. Berkowitz emerged from the epicenter of the epidemic as a community leader, demanding a solution to the problem before anyone else would pay attention. However, it was not Berkowitz’ voice alone that sparked contention. Dr. Joseph Sonnabend, a controversial virologist and AIDS doctor, postulated that AIDS was more complicated than just a new virus.

With Sonnabend’s theory in tow, Berkowitz fought, alongside beloved activist and musician Michael Callen, for safer sex practices without giving up on sex altogether. Sex Positive explores the explicit bravery of this unrecognised triumvirate, and their dire quest to save lives in the midst of unwavering dissent. Now destitute and alone, Mr. Berkowitz tells his story to a world who never wanted to listen.

FILM : TASTY BITS

A new documentary just about to be released called Sex Positive is sure to be provocative.

Through the eyes of Mr. Berkowitz, the audience is made witness to a graphic testimony of sex, death, and betrayal, while placing the invention of ‘safe sex’ in a fresh and compelling context. Keep a lookout for Sex Postive in the coming months.

LESBIAN

ZAC EFRON

Let’s hear it for the boy! Golden boy, Zac Efron is sure getting around these days. Paramount Pictures have just announced that Efron will star in the remake of Footloose, which is expected to be released in 2010. Although we’re not sure if Footloose needs a remake we’re happy to see Zac get hot and sweaty in almost anything. Looks like we may have Fame and Dirty Dancing re-do’s also thrust upon us in the coming years. Oh my god! Did we say anything? Maybe I spoke too soon? 17 Again — Hollywood plot number 23b — sees Efron play a guy whose life didn’t quite turn out how he wanted it to and wishes he could go back to high school and change it. He wakes up one day and is seventeen again and gets the chance to rewrite his life. I’ll let you be the judge. 17 Again is in cinemas from 9th April 2009.

VAMPIRE KILLERS There are a few things about this movie which suck but mostly it’s the fact that Lesbian Vampire Killers is about people who kill lesbian vampires, not lesbians who kill vampires. And secondly all the lesbians die.

So now that’s out there let’s move on. The film is a tongue-in-cheek homage to the classic Hammer Horror films of yesteryear. The plot revolving around two slackers, Fletch and Jimmy — played by Corden and Horne, who decide to escape their woes and go on holiday to a remote village, only to find that all of it’s been enslaved by lesbian vampires due to an ancient curse. We were not so impressed with the teaser trailer (see it at fusemagazine.com.au), but the girls do look pretty hot in it and it might be a bit of fun if you don’t expect too much. Unfortunately I just can’t get past feeling sorry for the lesbian vampires.

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NATIONS UNITED

Camp-berra at

Mardi Gras 09

Nations United

Mardi Gras’ 31st year was a huge success — it was a fabulous star filled evening, with an estimated 300,000 revellers lining the parade along it’s usual route to the showgrounds and party. The Canberra float ‘Camp-berra’ was organised by Richard Allen (aka Rachel) and included a contingent of the Australian Federal Police as well as ACT guys and girls, who were loud and proud and out to have a great time! These awesome photos where supplied by Snezana Saravovska and Julia Pittard.

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WHAT’S OP.ED ON

Oh, you must know… No I don’t. I’m just telling you now. There is some major misconception happening out there in the world. Just because I’m a lesbian, apparently I KNOW every other lesbian, not just in my suburb or my territory but in the world. All too often, this is such a common story. I’ll be having a conversation. It’s actually going along like every other conversation. Talking about the weather, about work or about the MX5 that blocked me in when it was double parked outside my local IGA and made me half an hour late for a really important meeting – like seriously there were about fifty other car-parks, why park there? Why park behind me? But I digress… and then it happens.

“Oh I know a lesbian, (insert random and suitably appropriate lesbian name here); they live down your way.” Or, “I met a lesbian from Timbuktoo once, her name was *****.” Seriously, on what planet do they think that I would not only know a lesbian from Timbuktoo, but that I would know their lesbian from Timbuktoo? Nothing I can do about it now, but politely mention I don’t know that person, brush it off and wait for the next day—oh yes I expect that it will happen again!

Now I hear the cogs in your mind starting to turn. Yes!

Creeping in to most facets of our lives… Facebook, msn, yahoo; email addresses for home, work and the junk stuff you want to subscribe to on the internet but do not want to clog up your ‘good address’ with; mobile phones and GPS’s.

When the sms you swear you sent to apologise for not being there didn’t send. Yes!

Wikipedia states that resistentialism is when inanimate objects display hostile desires towards human beings — and yes, I am one of those people naïve enough to believe that most things I read on the Internet are true. 42

A comment by you, or an awakening by them, the moment where they realise I’m a lesbian. I can see it coming, but through no force that I possess can I prevent those words coming out of their mouth:

Technology is rampant! Be warned however, there is a dark side to the apparent advantages of all this technology. Resistentialism is a new theory that I’m beginning to put great stock in.

FUSE

{ By Erin Gallagher

When the computer froze on you and all you got was the blue screen of death just when your final report was due, and you had forgotten to save since you had your brainwave three hours ago. Yes!

When you were writing that email in anger and haste after your argument and you swear you didn’t press the send button but off it’s gone into the non retrievable, non undoable ether. This is resistentialism at play. A fair step-up from the dumb chair that jumped out in front of you and made you kick your toe. Technology isn’t just being created by us for us to use, it’s just evolution of the inanimate objects waging war on us unsuspecting people.

TOP QUEER

Mad about you { ‘My favourite car has always been the old skool Mini’.

I had one for my first car and still have one for fun on weekends. When the opportunity to review new cars came along, the new MINI Cooper was my first choice. The MINI is a quirky, individual car for people who want more than just another hatchback. There are countless funky colour and trim combinations so you can tailor the MINI to your own individual style. Also, the MINI comes with a choice of wheels, various levels of performance and countless options and extras, to make the MINI “yours” personally. No more being told you can only have a grey interior. You can pick the type of seats, the upholstery and the trim on the doors. “Your” MINI can be built in just three months. Or if individuality is less important to you than having a new car now, you can choose a MINI from the dealership’s stock. You can select from three body styles too — the MINI , The MINI Cabrio, offering open top fun, and the practical MINI Clubman, a small wagon version. There are also some new variants on the way this year, including a diesel version, which will use less fuel than a Prius. If you fancy a weekend away there is the John Cooper Works version with high performance.

By Stuart Poole Stuart has been a car enthusiast as long as he can remember and greased up more moving parts than one can possible imagine.

Or if it is zipping down to Bunnings so you and the girlfriend can stock up on power tools, you might prefer the Clubman model, a small wagon version. And for those who like to be seen there’s the MINI Cabrio that offers open-top motoring — and the possibility of more positions when you are “parking”. There is also a twin sunroof option on the hatch and wagon, surely for the same reason. Some cool features are the in-cabin “mood lighting” that, depending on how the night is going, allows you to select feature lighting in a variety of colours. The stereo is speed sensitive, and turns itself down as the vehicle slows and increases the volume as you speed up again. So you don’t sound like a wanker going doof doof doof at the traffic lights, but can belt out your latest Wild Nights CD on the highway through the ten speaker sound system. The interior is very comfy for two adults, though back-seat passengers might prefer the roomier Clubman version. MINI has plenty of storage compartments for all your “stuff” (we don’t want to know what that may include) and a handy net on the passenger’s side for your gym pass or house keys. Each sun-visor has a lighted mirror, so you can perfect your makeup on your arrival. The MINI Cooper ate the road up quite nicely and the instant fuel readout told me it was doing it on minimal fuel too. It felt very solid, and sat nicely on the road too. The new MINI has captured the spirit of the old style Mini, providing sporty handling and braking that will please the Fangio in all of us. You can practice building your own MINI on MINI.com.au with all the options and colours you like, this also gives you the RRP of “your” MINI, and is a lot of fun. Or go in and see Brad, Nick or Ron at Rolfe MINI Garage in Botany Street, Phillip, who generously supplied the vehicle for the review. Contact them on 02 6208 4111 or rolfeclassic.minigarage.com.au Don’t forget to mention FUSE when you visit!

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SLOGGING slog n. A weblog providing a commentary, news or imagery relating to or being critical of things of a sexual nature. [s(ex)(web)log.] intr.v. slogged, slog·ging, slogs –To write entries in, add material to, or maintain a slog.

BOYZONE GAY COUPLE

LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS

Boyzone have become the first boyband to feature a gay couple in their video Better. The song and video is all a bit smolzie but hey, it’s a boy band after all. Hate to admit it, but I liked it... well, just a little bit. View music video at: fusemagazine.com.au

A comic, horror flick about two men who stumble upon a village where all the women are lesbian vampires. Unfortunately all the lesbian’s get done in... Sad. Watch out for our review on release in OZ. View the trailer at: fusemagazine.com.au

HOMOSEXUALS TAKE OVER

MILK A TERRIFIC FILM

CIAO SAD AND BEAUTIFUL

TRANSGENDER CAMPARI AD

“They’re coming to your town...” A doco by the American Family Association, on how ‘gays’ have taken over a local government to change the very moral fibre of the city... It can happen to your town! View clip at: fusemagazine.com.au

“Ciao” can mean both “hello” and “goodbye” in Italian. A man dies unexpectedly and leaves behind, Jeff, his best friend and Andrea, an Italian he’s been corresponding with online. The two men come together, where love and friendship changes their lives forever. View the trailer at: fusemagazine.com.au

FUSE 44

If you have not been to see Milk yet, then this may entice you to go along or get the DVD when it’s out. Milk is a powerful, feel-good movie that will stir more than a few hearts and minds. View the trailer at: fusemagazine.com.au

When Transexuals meet. Take a look at this beautiful gender-bending Campari ad for Red Passion entitled The Secret, it was a finalist for the Epica 2005 Awards which is Europe’s Premier Creative Awards. Beautiful ad, beautiful people. View ad at: fusemagazine.com.au

EAR CANDY

To Wax or Not to Wax? I’m a gay man, I’m hairy and I love wax! Mind you, not the kind of wax that painfully rips the fur from the body — tried that once and never again thank you. The wax I refer to is the classic 12” record: beautifully circular, bringing joy not only to the ears, but to the eyes, the mind, body and spirit. So what is it about wax that sets it apart from other musical formats? In the year 2009, why would anyone choose a bulky, space-consuming record over the weightless and invisible MP3? For starters, it traditionally comes in sexy, basic black or in a myriad of high-gloss colours, and on some occasions eye-popping pictures fused into the wax. An MP3, however, is vapour-wear; no colour, no taste, no weight, and unless you suffer from synaesthesia it generally cannot be seen. Indeed, you’re buying something that doesn’t really exist. Records can be packaged in a wide variety of cardboard sleeves, often with fantastic art-work to enhance and accompany the music. Jackets may also contain detailed notes on the artist and/or history of the music and can include cool bonuses such as collectable posters, booklets, or even an additional record that cannot be purchased on its own. Although the same might be true for a compact-disc, it also means smaller art-work, miniscule text and compact packaging. Packaging is one area where ‘bigger is better’… and MP3s almost never come with pretty or special extras. On a decent sound system, wax almost always sounds better than other formats. A record is a near perfect, physical imprint of the vibrations, warmth and nuances of the sound without loss of detail or the need to convert to data. When the record is played back the original vibrations and warmth are re-created. Your listening experience not only includes the music, but its soul. When it comes to an MP3 or compact-disc, however, the original vibrations are converted to numbers and stored as data, greatly assisting to minimise the size of the format, hence the more convenient size of a compact-disc versus a record, and an even greater scale with an MP3. The trade-off here is sound quality, as the ear no longer hears

‘Wax’ is an old-school term for a vinyl-record, taken from the first wax cylinder recordings used in the late 1890s to the early 1900s, for play on the Edison Phonograph. The original cylinders were made of ceresin, beeswax and stearic wax.

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a perfectly stored and therefore perfectly reproduced vibration, but instead, an interpreted and compressed version of the original sound. The result can sometimes be a crystal clear sound, but typically thin and lifeless. I could go on and on for pages and pages, singing the praises of vinyl and bashing the remaining formats, but admittedly it does come down to personal choice. For me, there’s nothing like spending an afternoon pouring through record bins, scanning fabulous picture covers. Sometimes I purchase the record based purely on its art-work alone and savour the magical surprise of its contents when I get home. At the end of the day I can view and touch my record collection and be totally satisfied with every skerrick of time and money I’ve spent. I will have them forever. I certainly can’t say the same about the folder of MP3s on my PC and IPOD.

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By Lanny K Lanny is the co-owner of Reefer Records and dedicated turntable terrorist.

FUSE 45

TRANNY TALK

By Abbey Jane Abbey, a proud transsexual person; Miss Fairday 2002; and Canberra Pride award holder is out there doing it as much for herself as for other people in the ACT.

Trannytalk { Canberra Gender Centre.

Never heard of it? Well that’s because it does not exist— not yet. However, there is an ever increasing need for a central point for Gender Diverse people in the ACT and surrounding regions, including the South Coast, Illawarra and out West. How do I know this? Operating a TRANS support group in Canberra that has people from these areas seeking assistance, I soon noticed that such a need not as an option but a basic requirement. So what are we going to do about it? Sit on our hands saying, ‘It’s too BIG a thing, oh we need more time, and how are we going to do it?’ Or, as this article proposes, we get the ball rolling now? Amongst first requirements are allround community support; funding from various sources to make this happen; a location; and perhaps most of all, credibility. We must be seen and believed as serious about ourselves and this initiative. Why would a Canberra Gender Centre exist? To provide resources and refer Transgender people to empathic General Practitioners and specialists in

FUSE 46

}

THE CANBERRA GENDER CENTRE

Canberra; access to empathic counselling services; support with GENDER identification documentation and advocacy; peer-support and drop-in facilities; both mediation and training in workplaces; and to promote both community education recognition and resources about GENDER diversity. Canberra still does not have a reference point for gender diversity. Until recently, the transgender population was low and the amount of individuals out there and doing it in the public was eye equally low. In the last few years however this has changed, Canberra is developing into a self-guided city with noticeable changes in the way people think of and embrace diversity in the 21st century. Some say we need to wait for the prefect time and my response is, ‘Why?” There is no perfect time. However, the time and needy factors are now upon us when we should seriously address this topic. So to get a Centre happening we need the support and energy of individuals and other people in the community to whom this initiative both directly and indirectly matters. I’m talking about people who can willingly help to lobby/write submissions for Government grants and/or philanthropic assistance, creating a solid base for the Centre with Mission and Directional statements and perhaps an advisory steering board. The Canberra Gender Centre needs to create and maintain networking opportunities with Australian and International Gender Centres/ support groups, work to elevate Transgender and Gender issues in the community and the ACT and Australian Governments, and just as importantly provide employment options for transgender individuals who face their own sets of barriers. But this remains a dream. Though with a little effort the avenues can be explored and we can get ‘a start happening’ because once you have the ball rolling it is easier to keep it going than to stop and restart. We have two support groups in Canberra for Trans-people, so why not The Canberra Gender Centre?

All the business on this page are Gay and Lesbian friendly or owned business. We’d like to thank them for their support of the GLBTQ community and hope you’ll support them in return. You’ll also find their details, email and website links at www.fusemagazine.com.au

BUSINESS DIRECTORY

FUSE Business Directory

If you would like to advertise in Fuse please contact us on 02 6287 7125 or editor@fusemagazine.com.au

FUSE 47

DEAR ROSE

Dear Rose, I just met the most amazing girl, only to find out she was on holidays. I still talk to her over the phone and through email. Things are starting to get more intense but I don’t know if I can/could cope with the long distance relationship. I don’t want to lose her. Please help! Long Distance Blues Dear Long Distance Blues, Long distance is one of the hardest relationships to maintain. You have to be really clear on the boundaries and what is going to work for both of you, and I have done a few of these! It really depends on what you are prepared to do to be with this girl. You could try the commute thing where you are both visiting each other alternatively, or if you are in a position to move to where she is that is also a good option. My advice, though, is to always have a plan B, so that if things don’t work out you have a plan and support to return back home. Put some cash away and be prepared that it might not work out — if it doesn’t at least you would have had an adventure! Dear Rose, My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now and he has recently told me that he wants an open relationship. I’m not really sure about it, am I just being insecure. Andy — Aranda Dear Andy, Navigating the shark infested waters of an “open relationship” is an interesting process and is to be approached with much in-trepidation. Most polygamous folks that I have spoken to are quite open with the people they are with regarding their needs in this kind of relationship. I would be questioning why, after three years, this is suddenly an option, when you both obviously started out as monogamous? Is there something beneath the surface of the relationship that you both need to be looking at? Emotionally: you need to ask yourself “what do I want from this relationship.” If a polygamous relationship is not for you, then you need to make a decision about whether staying in this relationship is for you. Knowing that your partner is off with someone else is a HUGE emotional roller-coaster — and you need to ask yourself whether you are able to cope with that kind of pressure.

FUSE 48

Rose

Dear

If you would like to write to dear rose please email her at dearrose@fusemagazine.com.au ~ letters are placed either here or on the fusemagazine.com.au website

Physically: when entering this kind of relationship you need to establish some rules that are non negotiable. Things like safe sex practices, whether you would want someone in your home, whether you want to know about it, or whether there is an agreement that your partner can be with someone more than one time. I mean there would be nothing worse than having a partner come home bragging about the shag they just had with someone else whilst you’re being the “little woman” at home! My advice is that as long as you are honest with yourself about the things that you need from this relationship you can’t go wrong!

Dear Rose, For the past two months I have been seeing someone that I consider a partner. My frustration is I do not know how to express my feelings with regards to sexual satisfaction. I am so attracted to this woman but I just cannot climax and find it really hard to express what I would like. When I say something, and she does it, it kinda turns me the other way and in turn I become more frustrated. Please what do I do? Signed, Frustrated Dear Frustrated, I hear your pain! One of the biggest issues that women have is communicating what they want when it comes to the bedroom. The great thing is that she is prepared to try what you want. Women put so much pressure on themselves to perform and feel like failures if they don’t get it right in the first place. My advice to you is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. Take a weekend off from the world; stock up on some champagne, good music, plenty of good humor and remember to talk it through…. ”a little to the left……a little to the right…..HARDER…..softer……”

Dear Rose, My dad has just come out. I know I sound like a hypocrite, but I’m not real happy about it. My dad — gay — it’s just creepy. Tom Grow up Tom, You might think it’s creepy but what your dad does in his bedroom is none of your business, and certainly doesn’t change the fact that he is your dad! I am assuming that you are gay and if that is the case, shame on you for not respecting your dad’s choices. If you love someone unconditionally you might not like or agree with some of the choices that they make, but the most loving thing that you can do is say to them, “I respect that you have made a choice in your life and I will support you, no matter what!” Coming out as an older man must be the hardest thing in the world to do, especially if it is your children that you have to come out to. Most of the older men that I have spoken to who have come out after a lifetime of living in the straight world, do so because they know that coming out will make them a happier, better person.

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