TRUE LOVE OR A CHEMICAL COCKTAIL
REAL L WORD
TV TRASH OR TREASURE
MANAGING RELATIONSHIPS WHAT’S MONOGAMY? WHAT’S CHEATING?
CHALLENGES OF BEING
YOUNG & GAY BJÖRN AGAIN CAN YOU HEAR THE DRUMS FERNANDO
LOUIZA WITH A ‘Z’ THE LADY TAKES THE STAGE
SPRING IS IN THE AIR: BABES, BOYS & BUTTERFLIES
17
14
The Real L Word — it’s reality TV for lesbians: trash or treasure!? Carmen Sarjeant has her say on Showtime’s reality lesbian fest!
18
With the huge popularity of social networking sites and the invention of online cybersex we discuss what’s monogamy and what’s cheating.
28
Being young and gay is not always easy and sometimes it feels like the whole world is against us. There is hope however — and there are people that won’t judge and can help.
FUSE OP.ED 40
34
20
Scott Malcolm, ACT AIDS Action Council President, reports back from the World AIDS Conference in Berlin with news of both triumph and despair.
26
Does love really exist or is it just a complex interaction of friendship, lust and hormones? Zara, our new youth writer looks at the chemistry of love and how it affects us all.
FUSE17 SEPTEMBER 2010
16
CONTENTS
FUSE FEATURES
FUSE REGULARS 42
16
PUBLISHER & DESIGN Lithium Innovation Pty Ltd {www.lithium.net.au} EDITOR Alexander Thatcher {editor@fusemagazine.com.au}
{
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Yasmin Element
PRODUCTION & EDITORIAL Christopher Powell
CONTRIBUTORS Tony Hamlyn Carmen Sarjeant Brooklyn Hulands Rose Pappalardo Robert Henderson
Scott Malcolm Damien Pratt Stuart Poole Chad Wijayatilake Hilary Caldwell
Zara Jackson-Martin Lisa Kelly Andrew Burry Lucy Jane Lesli Purcell
PHOTOGRAPHERS Jimmy Walsh
Douglas Robinson
Fenkil Abraha
CONTACT Advertising, editorial enquiries or letters Telephone: +61 2 6232 7662 • Email: editor@fusemagazine.com.au Mail: PO Box 3577 Manuka ACT 2603 • ISSN 1836-8387
02 04 07 08 10 14 22 24 30 32 34 38 40 42 44 46 47 48
Editor’s Rant What’s On at the Movies What’s On in Canberra The Trap : Local & Gritty The Buzz : Entertainment & Gossip Footlights : Björn Again Money Shot : Economic Freedom Footlights : Tommy Fleming Health : Decisions, Decisions! Grooming & Fashion : Love New York Out & About : Canberra’s Night Life Ear Candy : Music Reviews Footlights : Louiza With a ‘Z’ Out & About : Equal Love Rallies Community : Rainbow Network FUSE Community Directory FUSE Business Directory Dear Rose
www.fusemagazine.com.au All rights reserved. No part of the magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. The appearance, mention or likeness of any person or organisation in editorial or advertising in no way suggests sexual or political orientation. Photographs used to illustrate editorial do not depict the real lives, behaviour or sexuality of the models. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, editor or FUSE staff. Any health, fitness or dietry advice contained in this magazine is for informational purposes only. Consult your physician and a fitness/health professional before changing your diet, doing any exercise program, or taking any supplements or remedies of any kind. Submissions of text, photographs or any other material will be taken as consent to publish said material.
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EDITOR’S RANT
THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE Alexander Thatcher FUSE Editor
Although Australians are split down the middle about who should be running the country, I think I can safely say that most of us are not very happy with our politicians in general. As I write this it is still undecided who will be our next Prime Minster. It will probably all come down to a few hundred votes, and who will negotiate with whom and on what. Personally I don’t have a lot of faith in politicians being able to work together with the country’s best intentions at heart — but hey, I’d love them to show me otherwise. Maybe then we can have real action on the environment, full marriage equality… and then perhaps the development of flying courier monkeys! I really can’t tell you what’s more likely, but I think winged monkeys are in with a good chance. I could go on, but if you’re like me you are probably a bit tired of politics by now. If you do want just a little bit more however, Brooklyn Hulands has a few comments of his own in The Trap — something about upper houses, lower houses and dog houses. p08. The world is full of a lot of trash and the best stuff always comes from the US — you know it’s true. Well this month, FUSE writer Carmen Sarjeant goes straight for the jugular on the new Showtime hit The Real L Word — reality TV for lesbians that follows ‘real’ lesbians just being ‘themselves’. Scary stuff, but makes for TV you just can’t drag yourself away from, even thought you know you should. p16. We’ve got the start of what’s possibly an awkward conversation with your partner. What’s monogamy and what’s cheating? Once upon a time this may have been an easy question, but with the huge popularity of online social networking and the rise of Second Life and Grindr, the lines are blurred and things have become much more complicated. p18.
Yasmin Element Associate Editor
Christopher Powell Winged Courier Monkey
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Two of our writers were off overseas last month — lucky them. Chad, our grooming guru, reports back from America with the latest summer styles and trends — and what he thought about New York city boys. p32. Scott Malcolm, our finance expert and ACT AIDS Action Council President, went the other direction to Vienna to attend the 2010 World AIDS Conference. He comes back with feelings of both triumph and despair in the long battle with HIV/AIDS across the globe. p20. Lastly I’d like to talk about another important feature article we have in FUSE this month. Depression and youth suicide has risen to crisis proportions over the past twenty years and has become a particular problem for GLBTI teenagers. The fact is being young and same sex attracted, bisexual, transgender or intersex just adds another layer to an already difficult time. Feelings of isolation and discrimination can be overwhelming for kids growing up in an increasingly complicated and not always supportive world. So if you are a teen or a parent this article may help if you’re struggling with these issues. p28. It’s a mixed bag, enjoy and grow. Alex
Send all letters to the editor to editor@fusemagazine.com.au
}
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At the Movies DISPICABLE ME : OPENS 9 SEPTEMBER
THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT : OPENS 2 SEPTEMBER It’s all about family. The most talked-about movie at the 2010 Sundance Film Festival, The Kids Are All Right combines wonderful comedy with warm-hearted emotion in a vibrant and richly drawn portrait of a modern family. The Allgoods share a cozy Southern Californian home, experiencing life’s typical ups and down: Eighteen-year old daughter Joni (Australia’s Mia Wasikowska) is heading off to Stanford University and starting to distance herself from her parents; and 14-year-old Laser is hanging out with a deadbeat friend who constantly leads him into trouble. The only difference is, this family has two mums. Jules (Julianne Moore) and Nic (Annette Bening) have been together for years, deeply in love. When their two children decide to seek out their biological sperm donor-dad Paul (Mark Ruffalo), the household will never be the same again. Paul is a bachelor whose sudden longing for a family introduces an interesting dynamic to the not-quite-ordinary equation of the Allgoods. Funny, smart and sexy, this pitchperfect film features brilliant fantastic performances from its acclaimed cast and The Kids Are All Right is proving to be this year’s independent breakout hit.
WALL ST 2 : OPENS 23 SEPTEMBER Michael Douglas is back in his Oscar-winning role as one of the screen’s most notorious villains, Gordon Gekko. Emerging from a lengthy prison stint, Gekko finds himself on the outside of a world he once dominated. Looking to repair his damaged relationship with his daughter Winnie (Carey Mulligan), Gekko forms an alliance with her fiancé Jacob (Shia LaBeouf). But can Jacob and Winnie really trust the exfinancial titan, whose relentless efforts to redefine himself in a different era have unexpected consequences.
In a happy suburban neighbourhood surrounded by white picket fences with flowering rose bushes, sits a black house with a dead lawn. Unbeknownst to the neighbours, hidden beneath this home is a vast secret hideout. Surrounded by a small army of minions, we discover Gru (Steve Carell), planning the biggest heist in the history of the world. He is going to steal the moon (Yes, the moon!) in Universal’s new 3-D CGI feature, Despicable Me. Gru delights in all things wicked. Armed with his arsenal of shrink rays, freeze rays, and battle-ready vehicles for land and air, he vanquishes all who stand in his way. Until the day he encounters the immense will of three little orphaned girls who look at him and see something that no one else has ever seen: a potential Dad. The world’s greatest villain has just met his greatest challenge: three little girls named Margo, Edith and Agnes.
THE LAST AIRBENDER 3D : OPENS 16 SEPTEMBER Air, Water, Earth, Fire; four nations tied by destiny when the Fire Nation launches a brutal war against the others. A century has passed with no hope in sight to change the path of this destruction. Caught between combat and courage, Aang (Noah Ringer) discovers he is the lone Avatar with the power to manipulate all four elements. Aang teams with Katara (Nicola Peltz), a Waterbender, and her brother, Sokka (Jackson Rathbone), to restore balance to their war-torn world.
FREE MOVIE TICKETS FUSE has double passes to give away to Dendy Theatre in Canberra. Write in and tell us what you think of FUSE, comment on an article or sign up to the FUSE website and you could win these great Dendy movie tickets • email: hello@fusemagazine.com.au • www.fusemagazine.com.au
Free movie passes kindly supplied by Dendy Cinemas Canberra Level 2, North Quarter Canberra Centre, Bunda Street, Canberra City
www.dendy.com.au
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MORE MAGICAL THAN EVER Stroll among a million blooms illuminated by breathtaking lighting effects and be enchanted by the five magical nights when Floriade transforms into the after-dark spectacular – NightFest. Shop up a storm at the bustling night markets, watch a film under the stars or sneak away and experience Garnier’s natural beauty with a complimentary pamper session in Garnier World. Groove the night away with DJs and live music, plus enjoy side-splitting comedy for adults or a crazy circus show and fun in the Kids’ Corner.
Be swept away by the magic of Floriade NightFest, book your tickets now at Ticketek! Wednesday 22 – Sunday 26 September 2010, 6.30–10.30 pm Commonwealth Park, Canberra visitcanberra.com.au
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Direct from Africa, Winston Ruddle‘s
CIRCUS OF THE SENSES
100% 1 00% AF A AFRICAN FR 100% 00% %J JOY OY Y 100% PARTY
“Think Cirque Du Soleil with a fulsome African flavour” Australian Stage Online
Fun f o r t h e w h o l e f a m i l y !
October 6-9 Canberra Theatre Centre canberratheatrecentre.com.au | 6275 2700 FUSE 6
cirque-mother-africa.com
RETFAR ENTERTAINMENT
Check out fusemagazine.com.au for a full list of what’s happening in Canberra including local and national gay and lesbian events.
WHAT’S ON
WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER { BJÖRN AGAIN : ABBA GOLD One night only 30 October at The Canberra Theatre Attention all ‘Dancing Queens’, Björn Again are coming to Canberra. Established in Melbourne in 1988 by two research scientists, Björn Again are now one of the most popular and most successful international acts in the world and have performed sellout tours to critical acclaim in over 70 countries. The best thing since... well... ABBA! Don’t miss them! Tickets Call 02 6275 2700 or canberratheatrecentre.com.au
FLORIADE NIGHTFEST 22-26 September, Commonwealth Park Unlock your imagination as the daytime festivities of Floriade spill into five spectacular nights of fun and enchantment at Floriade NightFest 2010.
AMY MEREDITH Amy Meredith are excited to announce details of their headline RESTLESS TOUR, after what has an been an incredible start to 2010. The tour takes them across Australia and to Canberra on 13 October. Off the back of huge chart success with their smash hit single ‘Lying’ and debut album Restless it’s going to be an awesome night. At The Maram on 13 October. 9/38 Gartside Street, Wanniassa Tickets From: Venue Call: 6231 0000 • www.themaram.com
WOMEN’S DRAGON BOATING
Experience an array of live entertainment and great activities set amongst spectacularly lit garden beds. See breathtaking views of the park and our city at night from the top of the giant ferris wheel. Shop for something special at the bustling night markets. Enjoy a cocktail from the stylish Glow Bar or grab a bite to eat from one of the many food and drink outlets onsite. For a full line up of activities and the outdoor movie program — don’t miss The Twilight Saga: New Moon — check out the Floriade website at: www.floriadeaustralia.com/nightfest Tickets available online or from Ticketek.
Sunday 16 October & Saturday 16 October At Southern Cross Yacht Club, Lotus Bay, Yarralumla The Diamond Phoenix all-women dragon boating team is hosting a free come and try day. Women of all ages and fitness levels are welcome to come along. More info at: diamondphoenix.asn.au
CHECK OUT THE FUSE COMMUNITY DIRECTORY ON PAGE 46 FUSE 7
THE TRAP
THE
By Brooklyn Hulands www.brooklynross.com
UPPER HOUSE
DOG HOUSE
The two new members for the ACT’s House of Representative seats actually fought their election campaigns months ago, behind closed doors. The poll on August 21 was just their rubber stamp
The stakes were much higher for the ACT’s two Senate seats. But despite some questionable early polling, the Liberal’s Gary Humphries managed to hold on.
And now to something completely different.
This was the only battle the newcomers had to win. Gaining pre-selection was like having a seat in parliament put on reserve. So, as expected, the ALP retained both electorates last month — despite losing a bit of ground. The Liberals grabbed a 2% swing for Canberra and a slightly smaller improvement in Fraser. Now with a campaign run on the notion that anyone dressed in ‘I Love Julia’ t-shirts could have won, you may be wondering who the hell Andrew Leigh and Gai Brodtmann actually are. Well he is an economics professor, and she is a communications consultant. Gai is also married to the ABC’s chief political reporter Chris Uhlmann, a potential conflict of interest few have really questioned yet...
8
{
LOWER HOUSE
In April, Andrew Leigh (Fraser MP) and Gai Brodtmann (Canberra MP) managed to secure Labor pre-selection in the very safe Labor seats, taking over from two retiring veteran MPs.
FUSE
TRAP In fact, I’ve chosen this story simply to lower the overall IQ of this page.
Former ACT Australian of the Year Lin Hatfield Dodds fought a tough campaign, and in her own words ‘polled the highest Green vote in any state, any province, anywhere in the world’.
In what could be the most ‘enhanced’ sex tape since Pamela Anderson stripped off on the high seas, Heidi Montag is now being threatened with adult-film infamy.
But, it still wasn’t enough to win. The Greens managed about 23% of the Senate vote, behind Labor on 41% and the Liberals, who only just secured the required 33%.
The Hills’ star has filed for divorce from reality-TV husband Spencer Pratt, but in possibly the world’s worst attempt at getting out of the dog house, Pratt is now peddling the X-rated video to porn distributors.
An amazing effort by The Greens, but when you’re fighting for one of only two seats, third isn’t good enough. If polling released at the start of August (commissioned by the Greens) had been correct, Gary wouldn’t have come near the quota needed to secure a seat. Labor preferences then would have got Lin over the line. In the end, just a dream... ‘til next time!` Now for those disappointed that there’s one less gay marriage supporter in the Senate, keep your chin up. Back in 2006, Gary Humphries stood up to John Howard, and supported the ACT’s right to legislate civil unions. In the volatile political environment we now face, who knows what progress could be made in the next three years — and how it’ll come about.
On Twitter, he says he has ‘the Citizen Kane of sex tapes. Honestly, Orson Wells makes a guest appearance’. Reports are that the footage will show Montag before and after her ten plastic surgery procedures, and may even involve bisexual scenes with a female Playboy playmate. ‘F U!!!!!!!!!!’ is all Heidi has tweeted back to Pratt. It all seems too messed up for words, and the ‘experts’ in this field seem to agree. The articulate Perez Hilton says ‘we have a feeling this is only the tip of an especially douchey, pyschotic, famewhoring iceberg’.
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FUSE 9
THE
ENTERTAINMENT & GOSSIP
BUZZ
*
{
By Tony Hamlyn
ELLEN QUITS ~ GAYEST SHOW EVER ~ LITTLE BLUE GUYS ~ ALL THINGS OZ
FAMILY SWING GUY Who isn’t a fan of Family Guy? It’s easily one of the funniest, most wonderful, subversive comedies of all-time — animated or otherwise! Family Guy creator Seth Macfarlane is not only a brilliant TV writer (and a total babe!) he is also a musical genius. He studied piano from a very early age and recently admitted during a special Family Guy episode of Inside the Actors Studio that (much like me, after a few daiquiris) he in fact has perfect pitch. So I guess it’s no great surprise to hear that Seth Macfarlane is currently in the studio recording a big band album for Universal. From all reports the album will be a collection of swing greats from the 40s and 50s, with songs from legendary Broadway composers such as Rogers & Hart, Lerner & Lowe, etc and will all be recorded using a full orchestra. How Streisand is THAT! Macfarlane confirmed all this during a recent interview on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and even delivered a bit of a teaser a cappella — See the YouTube. Usually when something like this comes across my desk I become angry and cynical (remember Naomi Campbell’s 1995 album Baby Woman?) and start hurling around words such as “bollocks” and “self-indulgent”. But I gotta say, there’s something about this I really like, and I think I’m very onboard with this venture. Obviously Seth Macfarlane has talent — we’ve all heard him sing the musical numbers on Family Guy — and it sounds like he has a real love for the material, and that he’s not necessarily just trying to jump on the Bublé bandwagon. The official press statement has him saying, ‘It’s rare in this day and age to have the opportunity to create an album that celebrates the classic, sophisticated sound of rich, lush swing orchestrations…’ That sounds promising, right? I mean, you have to admit, it sounds less like a cash-in and more of a passion. Or is it just that I’m trying to talk myself into this? Maybe I’m more forgiving ‘cos I just totally wanna have his babies. Judge for yourself, ‘cos the album apparently ‘drops’ just in time for Christmas.
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SMURFS UP! The Smurfs film is well and truly in production, with my future ex-boyfriend Neil Patrick Harris being photographed in and around New York City filming glamorous scenes with the wonderful Jayma Mays (the cooky OCD counsellor from Glee). NPH will NOT be adorning blue facepaint, a’la Avatar, as he has actually been cast as one of the real life characters in the film, so good is his ability to portray a human being. There are three completely fabulous things you should know about The Smurfs film: a) it’s going to be live action mixed with CGI; b) the cast is OUT OF CONTROL fantastic!; and c) Tim Burton and his regular team of miscast misfits are NOWHERE TO BE SEEN thank god! The names attached to voicing these characters are enough to make you want to scream into your elbow: Saturday Night Live regulars Keenan Thompson and Fred Armisen, gay icon and all-round LEGEND Alan Cummings, Paul Ruebens (Pee-Wee Herman for god’s sake!), BJ Novak from The Office, and Katy Perry as Smurfette. The cameos are camp and funny, including Tim Gunn from Project Runway, but the most exciting news is the casting of Hank Azaria as the Smurfs’ nemesis, Gargamel. Azaria is of course a long-standing Simpsons regular, and was unforgettable as Agador, the outrageous gay houseboy in The Birdcage. In fact he is brilliant in everything he is in, so this cartoon villain is sure to be a real treat.
The Smurfs of course originated in Belgium, where in their native tongue they are referred to as Les Schtroumpfs. I lived with a German who told me once that in Germany they are called Der Schloompfs and Smurfette is in fact Shloompfina! Think about that each and every day of your lives. Oh, and if you want a sneak preview of the new Smurfs film there are a number of fantastic previews available at fusemagazine.com.au
MORE FRIENDS OF DOROTHY! I was five when our neighbours took me along with their own kids to see The Wizard of Oz for the first time. It was at the old Boulevard Blue cinema in Civic (kids, ask your parents!) and it was a completely life altering experience, wholly responsible for making me gay, no question! And to this day I am slightly obsessed with all things Oz, including of course Wicked, and the less successful 1985 film sequel Return To Oz. I even religiously watched OZ, the HBO prison series, but that had more to do with a naked Christopher Meloni than any love I might have of the L Frank Baum literary classic. Well, imagine the thrill of hearing that a new animated Oz project is currently underway entitled Dorothy of Oz — a musical, no less, and with none other than Glee’s Lea Michele due to voice Dorothy. The casting is sensational, with Dan Aykroyd and Kelsey Grammar voicing the Scare -crow and the Tin Man, and with Jim Belushi as the Lion. The story’s nemesis is the evil Jester, who will be voiced by the fabulous Martin Short, and other smaller roles are being filled by the likes of Oliver Platt and Patrick Stewart. The storyline sees Dorothy returning to Kansas, only to discover her small town abandoned after the effects of the devastating tornado. Somehow she gets magically drawn back to Oz where, whilst searching for her old pals from the first film, she develops new relationships with a China Doll Princess, a Tug Boat with self esteem issues, and a man made of Marshmallows. Does this sound like a stoner adventure or what? The music has been left in the hands of an up and coming country writer/performer called Tift Merritt and a Disney songsmith called Mike Himelstein. I have heard of neither (and I’m actually a bit of a country music fan) and their Wikipedia references are anything but thorough, so I can’t really comment, except to say that when you’re working on something as potentially phenomenal as this kind of project why on earth would you entrust it with new talent? But it could turn out to be a risk worth taking and, lets be honest, Lea Michele could sing the alphabet and we’d all go straight to iTunes for the remixes, so I have no doubt she’s gonna bring this baby home. It’s still a long way off, with the official website slating an early 2012 release, but definitely one to keep an eye out for. http://www.dorothyofozthemovie.com
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THE GAYEST SHOW EVER? MORE BUZZ
Exciting doesn’t even BEGIN to describe the following news: HBO are making a new TV pilot, which will hopefully get picked up as a series for 2011 entitled The Miraculous Year, a drama about a gay musical theatre writer trying to produce the show of his life whilst his dysfunctional relationships cause chaos and drama all around him. I can hardly breathe, and I haven’t even gotten to the good bit yet…
ELLEN BOWS OUT OF IDOL Big changes are afoot in the American Idol camp with our favourite judge Ellen DeGeneres confirming a few weeks ago that she will not be returning for the 2011 season. The official word is that Ellen is too busy with her own daytime talk show to concentrate on Idol, but even in the press statement she hinted at the fact that she was unable to give criticism when it was badly needed. Simon Cowell famously finished up with the show at the end of last season to focus on launching a US version of The X Factor, so this leaves two vacant spots on the judging panel. It was leaked recently that one of them will be filled by none other than Steve Tyler, lead singer of rock group Aerosmith, and hopefully the show’s producers will leave it at that. Under a panel of four Idol was suffering from too much judging and not enough talent, maybe the cause for last year’s disaster ratings and a number of critics calling it the worst season yet. Three judges are more than enough, and Tyler’s huge personality will surely make up for a missing fourth. But what does having someone like Steve Tyler mean for the show? Well, yes he is VERY rock’n’roll, which may not bode well for the more pop-flavoured contestants, but he’s also quite camp (in a straight-boy kinda way) and quite outspoken so I think it’ll be entertaining at the very least. Tyler did a rehab stint at the end of last year to kick painkillers, which is great for him but a bit of a shame for the viewing audience as the show has really been missing the slightly crazy element that a drug-addled Paula Abdul used to bring. On the subject of reality TV, Channel Seven here in Australia are busy producing the Australian X Factor, which begins airing next month. Guy Sebastian, Natalie Imbruglia, Ronan Keating and Kyle Sandliands are judging and Matthew Newton will be hosting. And trust me when I tell you it will be bigger than Australian Idol ever was! Also on the cards for Seven is an Aussie version of The Amazing Race. Remember, two gay brothers won the last season in the US, so everyone is in with a chance. They are currently calling for applications, so if you and a friend reckon you’ve got the chutzpah to win go check out on the Channel Seven website.
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The cast is made up of Broadway’s absolute cream of the crop, including Norbert Leo Butz (the original Fiyero in Wicked and Tony winner for the musical adaptation of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels), Patti LuPone (the original Evita and complete Broadway superstar) and Eddie Redmayne (straight off his Tony win for Best Actor in a Play in Red earlier this year), and announced just this week is the inclusion of Susan Sarandon in the bitchy choreographer role. GENIUS! The gorgeous Lee Pace (tall, geeky hunk from Pushing Daisies) will be playing the gay love interest, which will be very exciting to watch, and Oscar winner Katherine Bigalow (The Hurt Locker) is directing the pilot episode. Gay pop culture website afterelton.com are already calling it “the gayest show ever!” and, as if all that isn’t enough, the internet is already abuzz with salacious rumour and gossip surrounding the production. The New York Post just published an article suggesting the series’ main character, Terry Segal, is clearly based on Broadway composer and all-round legend Stephen Sondheim. John Logan, who created the pilot, and HBO are now getting all kinds of hassle from Sondheim who wants to review the script and is threatening to sue if he doesn’t like what he sees. Logan worked on the screenplay for the film version of Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd and the two were apparently firm friends ‘til this particular drama unfolded. Bear in mind, all this has happened while the pilot is still in production, so if the excitement is this intense before the show’s even made, just imagine how fabulous it’s all going to be! Stay tuned…
Photo : Eddie Redmayne as Antony Baekeland and Unax Ugalde as Black Jake in SAVAGE GRACE directed by Tom Kalin. 2007.
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BJÖRN AGAIN FOOTLIGHTS
{
If you’ve seen Björn Again before, you know they’re great, if not, this show is the one to see. This time they are performing every hit from the ABBA Gold CD, and as they say, ‘not a show to be missed’. ABBA Gold sold over 36 million copies so Björn Again thought perhaps everyone would just like to hear the album live. Speaking to John Tyrrell, co-founder of Björn Again in 1989, he told me what Björn Again do is unique. They combine the highest production standards, with the best singers and musicians available, but with a big dose of parody and fun, keeping it light and fluffy. ABBA began with Björn and Benny who had their own rock band and hired Agnetha and Anni-frid to sing some of their songs. Once their producer heard them, the boys were sent to the background and the world’s most popular pop group was born. But they’re always wanting to get back in the limelight, slipping in their own numbers like ‘Rock Me’ into the line up. Björn Again take that as their starting point. Björn’s trying to hog the mic but he has to be kept in his place. Björn Again are like a theatrical company. Demand is so great that they have three bands playing simultaneously in Europe, America and Australia. Occasional cast changes occur but the concept keeps going. The band members are AGNETHA FALSTART, the Abominable blonde bombshell; FRIDA LONGSTOKIN, the brilliantly bossy brunette; BJÖRN VOLVO-US, dainty rock god and guitar hero and BENNY ANDERWEAR, bearded boppy piano dude and occasional rapper. Hilarious! It’s a bit hard to overstate just how big Björn Again are. The list of places they’ve played, and the people they’ve performed for are incredible; from Wembley stadium to a private show for Bill Gates, from Royal Albert Hall to playing at Russel Crowe’s wedding. When they started, the girls and us gays loved them. Then the ABBA revival started and mass media took notice. At the massive London gay pride in 1994, they asked the audience, who’s a ‘Dancing Queen’? – the crowd roared. This year the band went to South America for the first time and the audience went nuts.
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By Robert Henderson
They’ve met an amazing range of people. Playing for the opening of the cricket league with Lionel Ritchie, who was full of interest in what they do and how they got where they are.
PRESIDENT PUTIN IS NOT AN ABBA FAN Recently the Russian Kremlin issued a media release that Björn Again did not perform a secret concert for Vladimir Putin, that such a concert never occurred and that President Putin is not an ABBA fan. Björn Again have now performed well over 5000 shows in over 70 countries, with multiple line-ups based in Australia, the UK and Canada. Björn Again are the only ABBA show endorsed by Benny and Björn of ABBA. Benny Andresson has stated, ‘Fans had better make the most out of Björn Again because that’s the closest they are going to get to seeing ABBA. ABBA will never reform.’ Canberra Theatre. $52 or $180 Family. Saturday 30 October 2010. Bookings 6275 2700 www.canberratheatrecentre.com.au
Tilley’s
Devine Café Gallery
TILLEY’S IS NESTLED IN TREE LINED LYNEHAM JUST 4KM FROM THE CITY For over 26 years Tilley’s has been famous for its breakfasts, lunches, and dinners... and of course its fabulous coffees. Tilley’s attracts not only ‘regulars’ but visitors from overseas and interstate who enjoy the all-day menu specials, and oh such lovely cake! Internationally renowned for legendary blues, jazz and classical concerts, Tilley’s continues to attract artists of international calibre who prefer the intimacy of a warm theatre atmosphere clad in red velvet, brass and dark timber booths. With a fully licensed bar, one can enjoy champagne with breakfast, or in the evening savour our broad range of wines, spirits or boutique beers on tap.
OPENING HOURS Serving you breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 days. Monday to Saturday : 9am – 10pm Sundays : 9am – 6pm
THE CALL IS YOURS! TILLEY’S CAN DO IT FOR YOU... To reserve your favourite table or booth phone us on 6247 7753 Corner of Wattle & Brigalow Streets, Lyneham • www.tilleys.com.au FUSE 15
Debaser the real
FEATURE
aka
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L word By Carmen Sarjeant
Debaser: the show and the viewer. Yes, you! Are you a self-loathing lesbian currently watching the Real L Word? Okay, enough with the personal attacks. I will concede I have in fact fallen victim to the show. I judge nobody any further, except myself. Reality TV for lesbians: finally the lowest common denominator has reached our demographic! And it’s proving a bit pornographic — ratings won’t come from lesbian, bisexual, omnisexual and bicurious women alone.
Remember The L Word? Yeah that six seasons of lesbian sex on your screen that you are currently re-watching because the closest thing to a lesbian on TV right now is on the teen drama, Pretty Little Liars (We called it quits on the judging, remember?). I have to say, I was desperate and on the hunt for new entertainment. And there I was, all lonely one night and looked up The Real L Word a few weeks after it started screening in the States. So back to where it started: The L Word. Set in Los Angeles, we came to learn that some of the stereotypes of the lesbian world not only don’t exist there but when confronted with them the characters were almost horrified by the concept of such ‘backward’ portrayals of sexuality. It is true that these stereotypes have been broken down over the years and this is most visible in bigger cities with larger and more varied homosexual communities. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, get in your car and go for a weekend in Sydney or Melbourne. I was interested in how these ‘real’ LA lesbians would be portrayed. Would there be complete ignorance of stereotypes, active refusal to identify oneself with a stereotype, or would there be at least some representation as well as a wider scope of lesbian characters on the show? A point in favour of the show is that each episode begins with a question that seems to capture aspects of stereotypical lesbian lifestyles or perhaps general public opinions about lesbians. Each cast member approaches the topic individually from sex toys, what is lesbian sex?, to what is a hundred footer? It’s a pretty funny way to start the show, especially since one of the women clearly knows no lesbians apart from her partner.
LET’S BREAK DOWN THE CHARACTERS • The Ellen and Portia — Jill and Nikki. They live the modern lesbian dream: money, dogs and they are getting married. • The Player — Whitney. I haven’t decided whether she’s partially represented on the show to make her seem inhuman and stupid but this girl thrives on at least three girls being obsessed with her at once and she encourages them. • The-I’m-Too-Busy-and-Stressed-to-See-My-Girlfriend-But-I-Will-Have-a-Massive-Bender-Instead-of-Work Butch — Mikey. Her life is so hectic she needs protective eyewear at all times. • The Papi Character is Loosely Based on Me — Rose. Well, we don’t need to see you transform on our TV screen then, do we? We already saw Papi change her ways and fall in love with Kit. • The One We Actually Like — Tracy. She’s a bit Molly. But mostly she’s actually real. She came out in her twenties, makes adult decisions and is dating a comedian lady who has kids. Oh, and she’s hot and can be seen in Bound magazine.
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There have been suggestions by Whitney, Rose and Mikey that they are ‘tops’, ‘pants’ or ‘butch’ — yeah, okay, whatever. Big egos, big drinkers, big flirts is what they have in common. There are some reoccurring ladies: Romy, Sara and Tor are Whitney’s main playthings; Rose’s girlfriend turns up a bit and Tracy’s girlfriend Stamie; we hardly see Mikey’s girlfriend; and Nikki and Jill have a new wedding planner/dress designer/ interior decorator every week. Pretty much all of them work in the ‘Industry’ one way or another, i.e. for non-wanky, non-LA people, this means the entertainment industry. So there are the more typical scenarios that we relate to with Tracy. Mostly because she says things that people actually say instead of being a massive cover-up for TV — I’m looking at you, Whitney. The thing about Whitney is she lives the life a lot of young lesos live. She parties, barely works, thinks about whether a woman is gay as soon as she meets them and loves to be loved by many all at the same time. She’s probably full of shit and you probably have been like her at some point in your life or have liked some girl like her. But she makes us sound like a pack of idiots! She’ll probably get her own spin-off where she can wrestle girls in creamed corn and then do them with her strap-on.
She might be a phoney as she pumps her dominator ego on the show and she may play up the stereotype but her real personality does get some minor exposure. She definitely doesn’t hide the fact that she would be a nightmare to work for. It’s the double-edged sword, I know. I don’t want to like the show. I don’t think I do. But I continue to watch it because I do recognise parts of people I know on the show. And I feel I have enough knowledge to be able to critique it (apparently). The show had actually portrayed some of the most boring and clichéd aspects of lesbian life — marriage, kids, dogs, jealousy in a bar — up until they started filming Whitney on her porn adventure with Sara and Romy. However, watching Whitney interact with her admirers just reminds me of every little bit of lesbian bullshit I’ve ever witnessed and it’s humiliating that most people who watch the show will enjoy this the most. I’ll let you decide what you find to be the most debasing parts of the show. Check out the webiste at: www.sho.com/site/reallword/home.do
The Tracy story is probably already boring for most: she has problems with her family accepting her girlfriend and she has to deal with Stamie’s kids at a young age and compete with them for Stamie’s attention. I don’t know how people feel about watching lesbians picking out wedding dresses but it makes me zone out. Watching Nikki and Jill is like watching Sex and the City to me. I wouldn’t choose to watch it but it’s on anyway and it’s not offensive enough for me to change the channel. I find Mikey amusing because she is just SO GAY. She likes to party with drag queens and Whitney, she has that shaggy/choppy haircut, she thinks she’s butch but her girlfriend has made a point of noting that she’s not always on top.
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SEX TALK
What’s
? Y M A G O MONWhat’s ? G N I T A CHE
al Health) ell (MHSc – Sexu 5 739 By Hilary Caldw ll 0430 85 Ca : r llo se un Sexuality Co
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TECHNICALLY, MONOGAMY MEANS ONLY BEING MARRIED TO ONE PERSON, BUT THE WAY WE TEND TO TALK ABOUT IT, IT MEANS TO ONLY HAVE SEX WITH ONE PERSON. The definitions of sex and monogamy and the expectations of those in relationships cause more confusion — and more door slamming/bag packing — than any extra kilos, or shabby housekeeping ever will. The issue is tricky, and not because it’s difficult to understand, but because we don’t talk about it properly. Even discussing it can be threatening to us and to our relationships. Biologically, we are not meant to be monogamous creatures, but due to current culturally constructed mores, 78% of men and women think that it is always wrong to have an affair. It is possible to have a happy, healthy monogamous lifestyle if you both understand and agree to what that means. A lifetime can present many changes and challenges to this concept: having children, the children going to school or leaving home, different working arrangements, menopause, and retirement — the monogamy contract is fluid and needs to be revisited often. At times, it may be necessary for both parties to accept that ‘resisting temptation’ is difficult.
Amongst heterosexuals in Australia, 96% of couples expected that they were in exclusive relationships. However, 94% of men expected that they would not have sex with anyone else and 97% of women. This represents about 5% of men and 3% of women ‘having affairs’, in the last year. Of couples that have arranged an open relationship, 60% were having sex outside of the relationship. Of Bisexuals, having a relationship with a person of the opposite sex, 43% of men and 78% of women expected monogamy. It is presumed that higher rates of open relationships are negotiated within the gay community. American figures are quite different, with 80% of people believing that sexual exclusivity is the ‘right’ thing to do, but 55% of women and 65% of men had had at least one infidelity and 75% of gay males agreed on open relationships. Discussing the monogamy contract can be confusing with many more women than men (in committed hetero relationships) saying that they had successfully negotiated what monogamy means exactly and some couples agreed that they had disagreed. Here is where it gets complicated: our own definitions of monogamy are based on our cultural, religious and moral beliefs, our family background and what we believe to be traditional sex roles. For instance, is oral sex, sex? Only 46% of young men thought so in a large Australian study.
IF YOU ARE READY TO HAVE AN AWKWARD DISCUSSION, THINK ABOUT THESE POINTS: • Is flirting with another person cheating? Being naked with another person but not sexual? Being naked and self pleasuring with another, but no touching? • Is perving cheating? Is porn cheating? How much is ok and of what type? • Is emotional love of another cheating? What about sharing intimate secrets with other people of either sex or orientation? • Is sexual fantasy of a another person cheating? • Sex with another but you don’t ‘love’ them, is that cheating? • Going to a sex club or a beat? Seeing a sex worker? What about a massage with a happy ending? • Online chatting? Web Cam, what about Cybersex?
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Often, people who have felt betrayed by their partners’ infidelity say that the dishonesty is worse than the affair. As with all shared responsibilities in a relationship, frequent conferring about fidelity is important for both members of the couple to feel mutual understanding, trust and safety.
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&
FEATURE OP.ED
TRIUMPH DESPAIR
THIS MONTH I AM WEARING MY HAT AS PRESIDENT OF THE AIDS ACTION COUNCIL OF THE ACT REPORTING ON THE WORLD AIDS CONFERENCE IN VIENNA, AUSTRIA. Since doctors noticed the first cases of a mysterious new disease in 1981 only very restricted information was available on the real nature of HIV/AIDS. There was limited hope for those with HIV/AIDS as it was considered an untreatable, incurable and deadly disease. In 2010 the story has changed for those privileged enough to live in a developed country, with access to treatment and support, HIV/AIDS is now considered a chronic illness, however from a human rights, stigma and discrimination perspective we still have a way to go. There are an estimated 33 million people living with HIV in the world today. Of those, there are an estimated 7 million people who do not have access to any form of treatment; this means their only certainty is death. This is why big hitters like Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were amongst the speakers, giving their time to discuss this global issue.
THERE ARE AN ESTIMATED 33 MILLION PEOPLE LIVING WITH HIV IN THE WORLD TODAY The conference theme emphasised the importance of protecting and promoting human rights as a successful response to HIV/AIDS; the right to dignity and respect for affected populations, equal access to health care and life-saving prevention and treatment programs. Overlaying all of this was a focus on evidence-based interventions over those coming from ideology. Ideology from some, in this day and age can cause more harm then good, abstaining from sex being a method of prevention, not acknowledging men that have sex with men (MSM), same sex or transgender communities again is harmful to the overall response.
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THE REALITY OF
WORLD
AIDS
The Vienna Declaration (www.viennadeclaration.com) is one of these evidence based approaches, a statement seeking to improve community health and safety by calling for the incorporation of scientific evidence into illicit drug policies rather than government and communities focusing on ideology. Check out the above link and if you are inspired please take the time to sign the declaration with the other 14,000 people. In Australia we have achieved some triumphs with the HIV response; we have access to treatment and stabilizing of the average infection rates — although our work is far from done. Australia is very different to the rest of the world. Our key populations are MSM, transgender and injecting drug user communities and a smaller number of heterosexual people living with HIV. However, globally, women account for more that fifty per cent of all people living with HIV/AIDS. I feel our Government and policies still have a lot to do. We are leading in some areas compared to the rest of the world, for example countries where same sex relationships and transgender communities still face criminal charges and live in genuine fear. I found it hard not to reflect on how far we had come and how our community response back in the 1980s achieved so much and how well placed organisations like the AIDS Action Council are to do more good work. Work towards more rights for affected communities: how is a newly out gay man or transgender person supposed to have the selfconfidence and esteem to make safe choices when our Government will not yet support and recognise our relationships? And how do we communicate these safe choices to people who may not feel connected to their community? We still have more to do; to paraphrase Bill Clinton, ‘this is not the end, it’s not even the beginning of the end, it is only the end of the beginning. In other words, we’ve ramped up, but we have to transition now from what has essentially been a make it up as-you-go along, emergency response, to one that we can sustain’. Our role as a community here in Canberra is to support, advocate and respond. For more information on how you can get involved in your local community check out www.AIDSaction.org.au.
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By Scott Malcolm President AIDS Action Council of ACT President@AIDSaction.org.au
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{
ACHIEVING
By Scott Malcolm
MONEY SHOT
ECONOMIC FREEDOM
>
Some of us are very clear on what we want in life, while others of us can be a little more carefree in where we are heading; then there are those of us who the thought of planning is not even on the radar. No matter where you are at, my money challenge for you this month is to take a moment to think about what ‘wealth’ means to you and create your personal definition. The meaning of wealth or financial independence can be a very personal point of view and perception. Do you believe you are wealthy as you no longer worry about money because you are able to pay your bills on time? Is it more about having enough money to choose whether or not you work? Would you only consider being wealthy if you lived in an expensive house and travelled regularly? Is wealth for you more about lifestyle and less about money? We can sometimes take elements of our wealthy lifestyles for granted as we can get caught up in focusing on what we don’t have in life. Setting your goals and working out what it means for you and your partner is a major part of the financial planning process. Setting SMART or SMARTER goals can be a challenge in itself so is taking the action to make them happen. SPECIFIC
You know exactly what your focus is with as many details as possible; don’t hold back on your dreams.
MEASURABLE
You are able to measure how far you have progressed towards the final goal.
ACHIEVABLE
The goal takes account of your particular situation at the time.
REALISTIC
The goal reflects your skills, resources and ability to achieve a specific outcome.
TIMEFRAME
There is a definite timeframe against which progress towards the goal can be tracked.
EXTRA REALISTIC The what, where, when and how of your goal in a high level of detail, so much so you can almost touch it! A financial planner can assist with helping you to document your plans and get you on track to achieving your financial goals as an individual or a couple. We can also offer a reality check to see if the numbers stack up and your goals are achievable in the timeframe that you are planning. A result of this could be getting investment advice which can open up a whole new world of jargon and experience for you such as buying investment products. My advice is that this process should be a partnership and your adviser should take you on the journey with them allowing you to be educated and empowered along the way, which could add a further depth of wealth to your life. Scott Malcolm (scott@money-mechanics.com.au) is Director of Money Mechanics (ph: 6257 5557) who are authorised to provide financial advice through PATRON Financial Advice AFSL 307379.
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The information provided on this document is of a general nature only. It has been prepared without taking into account your objectives, financial situation or needs. Before acting on this information you should consider its appropriateness having regard to your own objectives, financial situation and needs.
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fleming
FOOTLIGHTS
tommy
TOMMY SURE FITS THE BILL, PLUS HE’S A MAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO PUMP OUT A GAY ANTHEM OR TWO.
I spoke to him when he was in Australia in August to promote his tour and what impressed me as I chatted to him on the phone from his Sydney hotel room is how refreshing he was. Despite regularly working with some of the greatest performers such as Andreas Bocelli, Russell Watson, Catherine Jenkins, Leslie Garrett, Bryn Terfel, Hayley Westerner and Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, he was a totally natural and unpretentious guy. This is Tommy’s second trip to Australia after his sell-out tour early last year. We may not know him all that well in Canberra, but he’s won 32 platinum albums; receives invitations to represent Ireland at major international events; has sellout concerts everywhere he goes; and has one of the most beautiful voices around.
24
By Robert Henderson
LOTS OF BOYS (AND GIRLS) ARE A SUCKER FOR A RED HEAD.
The gorgeous red-headed Irish singer Tommy Fleming comes to Canberra as part of his Australian tour on Thursday 14 October.
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There’s many a gay anthem coming up in his newest album, featuring lots of songs outside his usual range such as ‘Smile’ and ‘This is My Life’. There’s a heap of Barbara Streisand, Shirley Bassey and Dusty Springfield hits that he used to listen to when he was a little boy in his parent’s sitting room — the album is a special treat for them. So many of the songs have been a special discovery for him, such as learning ‘Happy Days Are Hear Again’ was originally a Roosevelt election campaign song from the 30s, or that ‘Smile’ was written by Charlie Chaplin for his movie Modern Times. Also included are items like ‘Can’t Take My Eyes off You’, ‘Solitaire’, ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’ and ‘Somewhere’. ‘Really it could be called the great gay anthems album,’ he said with a laugh.
THERE’S A CONNECTION THAT THE IRISH AND AUSTRALIANS HAVE: WE BOTH LOVE A DRINK — A BIT TOO MUCH, HAVE A HEALTHY DISRESPECT OF AUTHORITY AND ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULL.
“THE BEST I HAVE EVER HEARD, BAR NONE.” — ERIC CLAPTON.
What is nice about his concerts is that he treats the audience as intelligent people. ‘What you see is what you get, on stage I’m me, I don’t put on some act. I’ve seen performers do this thing where they have this lovely stage persona but off stage they are the nastiest pieces of business around.’ Tommy talks to the audience about his life and the songs he sings, so no two concerts are ever the same. Tommy was at pains to point out to me that although he has a high voice, he’s not going to inflict on Australian audiences that terrible creature known as the Irish tenor. ‘True tenors, the likes of Placido Domingo, have never done ‘Danny Boy’ and the like as they are too much of a true artist to know that songs grown out of a folk tradition would be ruined by the large voice of an operatic tenor. We found this gorgeous new arrangement of ‘Danny Boy’ and I think people will love it,’ he said. I checked out him singing ‘Danny Boy’ and ‘Bridge over Troubled Water’ on youtube and surprisingly he was even stronger and more beautiful in the higher and more difficult sections — quite moving. Comparing his homeland with Australia, Tommy commented on the similarities he had seen, ‘The Australian audiences are sincerely the best. They get so involved and become part of the show and they completely get my sense of humour which can border on a little dangerous if I get very relaxed in the show; it’s like we get each other. We’re probably all related somewhere along the line. We have the same sense of humour, we love our beer and we don’t take ourselves too seriously.’ Canberra Theatre. Thursday 14 October 2010. Bookings Call 02 6275 2700 or www.canberratheatrecentre.com.au
T
’ R N UR D O G BE DOSS N I N TEM M RA I EP G PEN25 S O
AY RD TU SA
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OP.ED
♥
{
L♥CHEMISTRY VE I HAVE A FRIEND WHO RECENTLY ANNOUNCED HER ARDENT BELIEF THAT
LOVE DOES NOT EXIST. SHE SUGGESTED WHEN WE FALL “IN LOVE” IT’S SIMPLY A COMPLEX INTERACTION BETWEEN LUST AND FRIENDSHIP.
Personally I think it comes down to how you define “love”. The oxford dictionary defines love as, ‘An intense feeling of affection. A deeply romantic or sexual attachment to someone’. Assuming love is a hypothetical construct (i.e. truth, hate, motivation) both of these definitions provide a plausible circumstance for its existence. But in the popular culture of westernised society love has exceeded the boundaries of this definition; love now comes with connotations of irrationality and blindness, the kind that can only end in heart-break and disaster. Society, it seems, has taken what should be a simple concept and polarised it until an alternate and ambivalent definition has been created. Thus to many, love has become an inexplicable, almost spiritual occurrence so ridiculous that younger generations are losing faith in the whole idea. But what if there was a scientific explanation for love? Can we explain this phenomenon in the same way we can explain sadness or joy (which occur consequently with the release of certain neurotransmitters in the brain)? Love is perhaps the single most complex neurological process, and there’s still a lot of potential candidates as far as neurotransmitters go, but here’s some research to consider. When we first fall in love, serotonin levels plummet to a degree similar to that of sufferers of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter linked to feelings of well-being, excessively low levels of serotonin can even lead to “religious experiences” and other delusions.
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In addition to serotonin, dopamine floods the brain, giving a “high” similar to that of illegal stimulants and creating a strong association between pleasure and our love interest. Despite dopamine being a normal neurotransmitter (also released when we eat chocolate and for some of us even when we shop), it is highly addictive and thus break-ups can lead to withdrawal symptoms worse than those of many addictive drugs.
Written by our new youth writer Zara (Zee to her friends). Zara is a Medical Science student at the Australian National University and an active member of the university’s sexuality department. Today but not necessarily tomorrow, Zara identifies as a female, pansexual, but mostly gay. She thinks science has a lot to say in relation to sex, sexuality and love, and that’s what she’s going to be writing about. If you want to read more, check out her blog. http://idburnthiscitydowntoshowyouthelights.blogspot.com
If you’ve ever wondered why the lines between love and good sex become blurred, then the answer you’re looking for could be oxytocin, a neurotransmitter released by women during labour, best know for its role in cementing the relationship between a mother and her new born child. But oxytocin is also released during orgasms for both males and females. The amount of oxytocin released into the brain increases with the quality and quantity of sex, and creates a sense of intimacy similar to maternal closeness. Oxytocin can also affect the sex-appeal of total strangers, the more oxytocin coursing through our veins, the more attractive and trusting we find strangers. It is thought that this neurotransmitter dampens the activity in the amygdala, a region of the brain which deals with fear. So next time you have a wonderful one night stand, which ends with you swearing undying love to the persons involved, remember oxytocin.
LOVE IS PERHAPS THE SINGLE MOST
COMPLEX NEUROLOGICAL PROCESS But then again... who am I to say, ‘What’s love and what isn’t?’ Notably oxytocin levels also surge with the use of the drug Ecstasy, meaning that “coming down” after a high, is literally equivalent to having your heart broken. One particular study in Switzerland has found that teenagers who consider themselves to be in love, exhibit symptoms and brain wave pattern similar to people suffering from hypomania. They required, on average, one hour less sleep than others their age, acted 60 per cent more compulsively and reported having had reoccurring intrusive memories similar to people suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome. As to whether these symptoms were psychosomatic or not, research was inconclusive. Emily Dickinson once said, ‘That love is everything, is all we know of love’. So ‘til next time, don’t give up on love, we may understand the biological process, but we may never know why it occurs.
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FEATURE
BEING YOUNG IS NOT ALWAYS EASY
You’re not alone {
By Lisa Kelly from headspace ACT
Being young is not always easy. Many young people face pressures and feel like they are juggling lots of demands. Adolescence is a time when we are trying to sort out who we are, what we like, who we like, what we want to do with our lives, what’s important, what we believe in and what we don’t. It can be really confusing and challenging. For young people who are same-sex attracted or who are transgender, adolescence can be even more of a challenge.
Despite changing attitudes amongst much of the Australian community, there is still some prejudice, marginalisation and discrimination against members of many minority groups. Did you know that in 2004 a survey of 1,749 GLBTI young people found that many had experienced homophobia, mostly through verbal abuse (44%) and unfair treatment due to their sexuality (38%)? Unfortunately, but possibly not surprising to you, the most common place people experienced this abuse was within schools (78%). Such discrimination can seriously affect our health and wellbeing and leave us feeling isolated and alone. Discrimination and prejudice can leave us thinking that we are somehow ‘different’ to everyone else. This feeling of difference can be really confusing and lead to doubts, questions and pressure to conform. For GLBTI young people this pressure to conform can affect your selfesteem as it leads you to question all of your thoughts and decisions. It can make you doubt yourself and your self-worth. When we doubt our self-worth we can get caught in a cycle of negative thinking that affects our ability to build relationships with other people, concentrate at school or work, make decisions, or recognise our strengths and positive attributes. We can become lonely, isolated and disconnected from our friends, our families and ourselves. Young people who are GLBTI often comment that the process of telling people about their sexuality is one of the hardest things they have ever had to do. “Coming Out” to people can leave us really vulnerable. Young people often express significant worry and concern about being rejected or dismissed, of losing friends and family members, of being misunderstood or stereotyped. It is definitely a source of stress and turmoil and can leave us feeling scared, anxious and depressed. However, young people also tell us that being able to be open about who they are and what they think and feel can be liberating and exciting, which can bring acceptance and peace and a sense of empowerment. It is the stress, challenges and confusion that GLBTI young people experience that can increase their risk of developing a mental health concern like depression or anxiety. There is also a high risk of suicide or attempted suicide amongst GLBTI attracted young people.
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Depression and anxiety are words that we throw around all the time but what do we actually mean when we are talking about depression and anxiety?
DEPRESSION
We all feel ‘down’ or sad from time to time — it’s part of being human. ‘Sadness’ is a reaction to something in particular, like a relationship break-up. ‘Depression’ is when feelings of sadness last longer than normal, affect most parts of your life, and stops you enjoying the things that you used to. Depression is really common. Among young Australians aged 12-25 years, depression is the most common mental health problem. Around 1 in 4 young people will have had a depressive disorder by the end of their adolescence. It’s important that you get support if you think you might be depressed. The consequences of untreated depression can be quite serious and include underperforming at school and/or work, losing friends and family supports, substance abuse and risk of suicide.
ANXIETY Anxiety is another word to describe worry. It is an unpleasant emotion that we all feel when we are faced with challenges. Anxiety can be useful at times, as it helps us prepare for and perform tasks. Anxiety disorders occur when the anxiety becomes intense, causes distress, lasts more than a few days and affects day-to-day living. Anxiety disorders are also really common. Around 1 in 10 young Australians aged between 18-25 will experience an anxiety disorder in any 12-month period. For young people between the ages of 13-17, the figure is around 1 in 25. A person’s ability to achieve their full potential can be seriously reduced if they do not receive treatment for an anxiety disorder. So how can you tell if you or your friend or family member might have a mental health concern like depression or anxiety? There are a couple of things you can keep an eye out for, including some signs mentioned on the following page.
PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION WILL OFTEN:
PEOPLE WITH ANXIETY WILL OFTEN:
•
• Find it really difficult to get to sleep at night and will talk about lying in bed and not being able to stop thinking about things;
Withdraw from their friends and families, which means they will stop accepting invitations to go places, they will become less chatty, they will spend more time on their own than usual, they will stop posting on facebook or twitter, and they might stop answering the phone or responding to text messages;
• Find it hard to keep doing activities that they used to enjoy like playing sport, going out, playing music or doing a hobby; • Find it difficult to concentrate for long periods of time and can find it difficult to sleep through the night even though they feel tired all of the time.
• Excessively worry about things and will find it really hard to stop worrying or be distracted; •
Start to avoid situations that cause them to worry — so they might stop going to class because they are worried about speaking in front of people, or they might stop going to work because they are worried about making a mistake, or they might not do activities because they are worried that they other people will laugh at them.
We know that even though it might be really hard sometimes, talking to someone about what you are thinking and feeling or about your worries and concerns can actually help. We know that it can sometimes feel like you are making things bigger than they are or that you don’t want to burden someone. Or you might be concerned that someone will judge you or you might get a homophobic response. All those concerns are very real, but we also know that talking about a problem can help to make it more manageable, talking about our feelings can reduce their intensity, and talking about what is going on in our head can reduce the confusion. It is about finding the right person and the right place to talk, and giving it a go. You may have heard about or seen these things called headspace centres popping up all over the place. Headspace centres have been set up in thirty locations across Australia, including one in the ACT, to provide safe and supportive spaces for all young people, regardless of gender, race or sexual preferences to access support from a range of people and professionals. Headspace can provide support and information on mental health concerns, health concerns, drug and alcohol problems, housing, school/work, family and friend hassles — in fact, headspace can either help you or hook you up with someone for just about any issue you might have. Headspace ACT is a GLBTI friendly space. Staff at headspace won’t judge you or comment on your sexuality, won’t deny you support and won’t stereotype you. At headspace you will be treated with respect and your right to make choices and decisions about your own life and sexuality will be acknowledged. At headspace, staff are happy to listen to your problems, big and small, help you to carry your burdens and relieve your worries and concerns so that you can just be your fabulous self and live the life you want to live. For more information on headspace check out www.headspace.org.au. If you want to come and check out headspace ACT, you can drop an email to: headspaceACT@canberra.edu.au or call 6201 5343.
HEADSPACE 6201 5343 • LIFELINE 13 11 14 • ACT CRISIS 1800 629 354
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HEALTH
DECISIONS DECISIONS In FUSE16, the AIDS Action Council’s Keiran Rossteuscher reported on the recently published Pleasure and Sexual Health (PASH) study, which was really the first Australian study that considered the connection of risk and pleasure. In another month or so, the latest Gay Community Periodic Survey will be released. Both of these studies show some evidence of an increase in unprotected anal intercourse with casual partners (UAI-C). This tends to support other studies, suggesting condoms are being less used in some circumstances. Despite this, the rate of HIV infections is stable and amongst some age groups is showing modest declines. Of course, if the total remains constant and is declining amongst some age groups, we can conclude that it must be increasing in others. This is what’s happening, and amongst younger gay men we are seeing more HIV diagnoses. It is tempting to link a decision by some gay men not to use condoms all of the time with a rise in infections, but it’s not quite so straightforward. We know from all manner of research that gay men in particular have an extremely high awareness of HIV. They know how it transmits from one person to another and they certainly know how to avoid that transmission. They know of the consequences of an HIV infection too. In other words, by and large, gay men know that if a condom is worn during anal intercourse, they are pretty much protected from acquiring this incurable virus. However, there is a gap between knowledge and behaviour, which is why some of us continue to do things that we know carry a risk. We also know from research that highly sexually active gay men are aware of other strategies that can be used to, if not eliminate, at least reduce the risk of HIV. Strategies like sero-sorting for example. This is the practice of choosing sexual partners of the same HIV status. Another is strategic positioning, which recognises the disparity of HIV risk between active (top) and passive (bottom) partners. These practices are not supported by the sector, because even if they reduce risk, they remain risky choices. Negotiated safety is supported however. This is where partners make an agreement about the sex they have with each other and the sex they will have outside the relationship. It involves testing and therefore implies known HIV status.
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{
By Andrew Burry
The bottom line is that all human decision making is complex and results from a range of factors an individual experiences right up until that moment when a decision is taken. Decision making around sexual choices is at times a conflict between risk, pleasure and desire; education and health promotion must reflect this reality. Very few people are completely risk averse in their lives, so why would we assume that people are any different when making choices within the context of a sexual encounter? In fact, throughout our lives we manage risk by balancing outcomes and consequences, and we accept a level of risk that we feel comfortable with. The more we believe that we are well informed, the more confidently we will consider risky behaviours. It is wrong and probably dangerous to make an assumption that condom use declines when gay men become ‘complacent’. The truth may well be that gay men have informed themselves on alternative strategies and that their perception of risk is changing. If this is the case, and we don’t know this, then we need to develop more sophisticated messages. Gay men may well be the most researched group in contemporary society and we know an enormous amount about what they do. When it comes to why, I’m not sure that we have even scratched the surface.
For more information on avoiding HIV and other STIs, check out the AIDS Action Council website at aidsaction.org.au or call Westlund House on 02 6257 2855
I
y a d r i fa 0 1 0 2
SATURDAY Canberra’s biggest LGBT event!
30
th
OCTOBER
WESTLUND HOUSE RESOURCE CENTRE
12 noon to 5pm at Westlund House 16 Gordon Street Acton
westlundhouse.org.au/fairday FUSE 31
GROOMING & FASHION Chad with Jon Kortajarena, a hard day shopping and hanging with Tal Evans
FASHION REPORT STRAIGHT FROM NEW YORK So it’s been just over a month since my return back to freezing cold Canberra from the sunny streets of New York City. Now my trip seems just a distant memory of yellow cabs, great shopping and amazing style. I was recently in New York to work with Ruth Roche, who is an amazing hairdresser, and also for a bit of a holiday. I went with one of my best friends Tal, that I’m sure a few of you would already know since he has been on the cover of FUSE06 and was also one of the models at the FUSE 1st Birthday Aussie Bum fashion show held earlier this year. My highlights of the trip would have to be shopping down 5th Ave or pretty much shopping full stop. Getting picked up at Gucci by a guy called Alanzo, who now is great friend of mine. Being invited to a party to celebrate Vivien Westwood’s son’s latest collection — and party we did. Meeting the girls from the current season of America’s Next Top Model and getting the dirt on Tyra Banks, haha! Also, dirty dancing with Miss Amanda Lepore at the same party, which was pretty insane. Going to one of the hottest nightclubs in New York called ROCK IT where Kelis, at 2am in the morning, hops up on the bar and starts to sing the ‘Milkshake’ song — insane! But the one thing that took my breath away was meeting Jon Kortajarena, (top right) who is one of the top three male models right now and has been in every single Tom Ford ad campaign and also in the movie, A Single Man that Tom Ford directed. I met him poolside at our hotel while he was working on his tan.
Being summer, major fashion looks for girls were floral print dress’s and tailored shorts worn with a crisp white shirt. All looks completed with sky-high heels; I don’t think New York girls own many flats, even at a Sunday market in the meat-packing district they wore strappy Dolce and Gabbana stilettos. It was hot!!! Nude is also a very big colour for this season with a lot of nude coloured skirts with pleated detailing seen on the streets. For the boys: loafers, chinos or jeans cuffed at the ankles worn with ether a bright coloured polo or a crisp white shirt. Very smart yet casual — loved it. Chequered shirts and double denim is still hot, so keep mixing it up. Shorts cut to the mid thigh were also hot and was completed with a messenger or a duffle bag. If you haven’t yet been to New York, I highly recommend it. If the shopping and amazing food doesn’t lure you, then maybe the hot boys and girls will.
LET’S TALK STYLE... What I loved about New York and its style was that there is such a variety of trends and not just one sort of look. From the Chanel to Ralph Lauren looks of 5th Ave, to the eclectic looks of Vivien Westwood and the punk rockers of the lower eastside. New Yorkers kept surprising me with some outrageous looks, I even found myself walking down the street with a man in a wedding dress — loved it! I could tell that no one cared about being judged on what they wore, they just wore what they wanted. To describe the style of New York I would say ‘anything goes’. But the main trends I saw coming through with hair — the blonder the better — from creamy tones to the very cool blondes. A major hair trend seemed to be hair worn with a messy textured wave, or a messy not bun worn rite on top of the head, which we saw Lanvin do early this year on the European catwalks.
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{
By Chad Wijayatilake from Form Haircutters
New York City boys
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OUT & ABOUT
33 Petrie Plaza Civic, Canberra City www.cubenightclub.com.au
}
More than a nightclub
ARE YOU FREE THIS WEEKEND?
Every Thursday, Friday & Saturday night until 11pm you’ll get FREE entry & 2 for 1 drinks at Cube Nightclub. Cube is your home away from home with a sense of family so unique it cannot be compared. Canberra’s premier gay venue along with ARIA accredited resident DJs provide a mix of music beyond the charts. Come join the fun!
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FUSE 35
OUT & ABOUT
COME DINE WITH HUSH THURSDAYS! Come by and enjoy a fine wine and dine in with HUSH on Thursday evenings with our exclusive new menu options for both meat lovers or vegetarians. Something delicious for everyone.
THREE-COURSE MEAL WITH ONE GLASS OF WINE OR BASIC BEER FOR ONLY $35. The menu is a set menu with a vegetarian option. This event will be held every Thursday and the menu will change from week to week.
BOOKINGS CALL JOEL @ HUSH
0433 858 467
CHILL OUT EVERY WEDNESDAY @ HUSH, WITH LIVE MUSIC AND $10 PIZZAS!!! Every week at HUSH we now have Acoustic Wednesdays with Rock Nation Unplugged, organising local musicians to sing and play. That means that every Wednesday night we turn down the lights, turn down the volume and unplug the amps for an intimate session with Canberra’s finest musicians — this is not a rock event, so come and chill out with us. Crn of Launceston & Irving Streets Phillip www.hushlounge.com.au ~ 02 6282 1944
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}
WWW.HUSHLOUNGE.COM.AU CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE FOR THE FULL LINE UP OF LIVE MUSIC, KARAOKE NIGHTS, SPECIAL EVENTS, PARTIES & MORE!
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MUSIC ROUNDUP
EAR
CANDY
DARWIN DEEZ
Wow another freakishly good experimental electronica band that I had never heard of until one of my friends at the gym was listening to it on his iPod and told me I had to give it a crack! On face value, Crystal Castles seem like just another electronica band made up of a dance music producer that somehow stumbled across a slightly bizarre female vocalist and “ZAP” band formed! But the difference is this time the electronic music is seamlessly infused with the female vocalist who in her own right is amazingly different, talented and just fu@king fantastic.
The Darwin Deez are total new kids on the block. Forming only last year, they are from New York City and this self-titled album is their first. The band has around six members with the lead singer being known as none other than ‘Darwin Deez’.
Both band members hail from Canada (instantly cool in my books) and this is their second album titled Crystal Castles (II), which came after their first album Crystal Castles (I) hehe cute hey?! The ripper tracks include ‘Celestica’ and ‘Baptism’, which are a must listen for next time you are in a record store with those cool headphones that you can use to try before you buy. The music is laid back and soft so listen to it in the coming summer and relax bro!
38
By Damien Pratt
CRYSTAL CASTLES II
Their music is relatively simple with regular fat bass beats and nice little repeating dance patterns, but it’s been put together so well by producer Ethan Kath that it transforms into this deep and incredibly mysterious and totally amazing sound that seems to pull you in. Alice Glass’s voice is a strange strange thing that is for sure! Some of the tracks you cannot even begin to work out what the lyrics are, instead her voice has been used as more of a beautiful musical instrument rather than solely for the purpose of narrating the story.
FUSE
{
This album is an indie/folk/rock fusion thing and it’s great. The songs are hilarious as the lyrics are really about nothing at all and are really worth listening to just to try and follow the story. It’s not easy at times to work out what the theme of each track is but after a few listens to each song you finally piece together what he is singing about. The tunes are boppy, happy, fun and incredibly catchy with my favourite track being ‘Radar Detector’ because it is about… you guessed it, a radar detector. No shit, it’s actually about a radar detector that you put in your car to warn of police radars so that you can speed more! I mean I guess that’s just as an important thing to write a song about as love and breakups, isn’t it? If you need a bit a cheering up then pop this little gem in the CD player and sit back and tap your feet all the way to blissfulness! Best tracks are easily ‘Constellations’ and ‘Radar Detector’ but all the others are just as cool and fun. Enjoy boys and girls!!!!
FUSE 39
Stage Stage
FOOTLIGHTS
THE LADY TAKES THE
LOUIZA WITH A ‘Z’
The first solo show of one of Canberra’s most talented and exciting singers, Louiza with a Z, opens at Teatro Vivaldi Restaurant on Friday 1 and Saturday 2 October. Having appeared in many great shows, such as Boy from Oz, The Musical of Musicals (The Musical), Singer Dancer Actor and Music Ticket Passport, Tony Turner spotted Louiza Blomfield performing in Spam-A-Lot and got the boys Marc and Anthony at Teatro Vivaldi to book her for a show. All these shows gave her starring and solo numbers where her talent was obvious, but the big step up to carrying an entire night solo is a big challenge she’s relishing. And the beautiful intimate setting of Teatro Vivaldi will only aid her. Full of the proprietors’ musical memorabilia, it’s a lovely venue nestled at the ANU, where you can enjoy a nice meal as you watch a stunning show. Bookings are essential as capacity is usually reached well before the night of a show. As it’s her first solo show, Louiza will be doing a fairly autobiographical production, starting with the earliest songs from her childhood. She wouldn’t tell me what the opening number will be, ‘It’s a surprise,’ she said, ‘but it’s sure to be something everyone recognises and loves. I will also perform the song that made me realise I really could sing.’ The title of the show is a natural, given her close links to musical theatre and like Liza Minnelli, she’s had to often point out it’s Louiza with a Z, not an S. Louiza also shares with Liza a love of the proud gay man, but this fiery honey blonde diva never made the good fortune of marrying one. Louiza describes her music tastes as eclectic; ‘I love everything from stuff that’s a little bit girlie, to rock and roll, country and of course, musical theatre. In this show I put together a lot of my favourite songs; pieces that I love but I’m too old now to sing in a show or are written for male performers, and pieces I hope to sing in a production in the future,’ she said. We’ll hear hits of Nina Simone, Crystal Gayle’s ‘Brown Eyes Blue’, John Denver, Linda Ronstadt, hits from Chicago, Sunset Boulevard and Grease. There’ll also be an original song, for which Louiza won a CAT award, ‘Moment in Time’ composed by Lucy Bermingham. Louiza with a Z. 1st & 2nd October 2010. Teatro Vivaldi Restaurant. Bookings phone (02) 6257 2718.
FUSE 40
{
By Robert Henderson
FUSE 41
OUT & ABOUT
MELBOURNE, BRISBANE AND PERTH
Equal Love is a nationwide campaign for same-sex marriage in Australia. On August 14, thousands of Australians took to the streets once again as part of a national day of action for equality and same-sex marriage, sending a clear message to our leaders that our community won’t settle for anything less than equality. Rally photographs by Doug Robinson, Nick Hines, Toby Longhurst, Ann-Marie Calilhanna, Andie Noonan and Mikey James.
FUSE 42
CANBERRA AND SYDNEY
FUSE 43
{
WHICH WAY SAME WAY COMMUNITY
RAINBOW NETWORK Canberra has an active Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander (ATSI) gay, lesbian, bisexual and sister girl community. The Which Way Same Way Rainbow Network is now active. The network’s objectives are to promote social inclusion, arrange social activities, promote awareness, discuss issues and enhance cultural harmony within the GLBT community. The term Which Way Same Way refers to ATSI everyday language and in network’s terminology meaning which way: a person’s sexual orientation and same way: implying simply, same way sex attraction.
The reason for the network’s formation is to have a central mailing list so that community members are informed and can become involved in social activities, discussion topics, networking and support each other as well as arranging family days. A priority of the network is supporting our younger generation in feeling comfortable in coming out. The history of ATSI people’s involvement in the gay and lesbian movement in Australia is vastly relevant and in this community, equally important. It is difficult for a majority of our community members to come out. There are many reasons for this, one reason is we are sometimes hit with a double barrier, one for being gay or lesbian and another for being ATSI.
By Lesli Purcell
Historically there has been negative energy and abnormal behavior towards being gay and lesbian and our cultural history indicates that being gay or lesbian was not deemed culturally acceptable. It’s not about what is right and what is wrong; it’s about accepting, cultural understanding and educating people on this topic. Today, through promotion, awareness and education, this negative energy is becoming positive energy and a lot of our people are willing to support and assist our members in coming out. Our members now have a proud equal stance within our own community.
ACT IS KNOWN CULTURALLY AS A MEETING PLACE Coming out is the first step in the journey of self discovery, emotional wellbeing and innerharmony. Our people, who are firstly curious, need to begin a journey of answering questions relating to what is important and what their initial attraction is. Young people find it extremely hard to come out, as there is limited support and in some cases, family may not support or agree with the young person’s choice of sexual orientation. ACT is known culturally as a meeting place. ATSI gay, lesbian, bisexual and sister girl’s who now live in Canberra come from other communities across Australia. Automatically, members are away from family, community and country but need support and positive encouragement to feel comfortable to stay in Canberra. On the twelfth of September, a forum will occur in partnership with ACTCOSS (ACT Council of Social Service) as well as a kind funding grant from ACT Gay & Lesbian Tennis Club. The aim of this forum is to meet and discuss GLBT topics as well as cultural topics. This is the first forum for the ACT community and in the future there will be more. One of the Forums topics is ‘Self Identity’. Our culture has one overall identity as proud ATSI people however our other identity is being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. Identity is feeling comfortable and proud, knowing ourselves and having the self confidence to proudly say we are either. The network will create a sense of community pride and on the other hand, promote education within its own community. In the near future the network would also like to build relationships with other GLBT social groups and support services in ACT. Nationally, the network will also play a role in being a resource link to other ATSI GLBT communities. www.communitylists.org.au/mailman/listinfo/ whichwaysameway
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The AIDS Action Council of the ACT would like to thank all of our sponsors, supporters and volunteers for helping to make the Annual AIDS Action Council Trivia Night Extravaganza the best night possible!
WESTLUND HOUSE RESOURCE CENTRE
S.O.C
FUSE 45
COMMUNITY DIRECTORY REGULAR QUEER EVENTS
GLBTQ COMMUNITY DIRECTORY
HANGOUTS
Q RADIO ON 2XX FM98.3 Canberra Queer Radio Show. Saturdays 7pm – 9pm 2XX, 98.3FM Canberra’s own GLBTQ radio show.
CUBE NIGHTCLUB Canberra’s premier gay night club venue along with ARIA accredited resident DJs playing a mix of music beyond the charts.
DYKE DINNER & MOVIE GROUP More info on FUSE website or see Canberra Lesbians on Facebook. GAY & LESBIAN TENNIS Mondays 6pm – 9pm. Turner Tennis Club, Cnr McCaughey and Condamine Streets. Bring a tennis racquet, shoes and $5. GAY ACT SQUASH GROUP Wednesdays 6.30pm – 7.30pm. National Sports Club, Mouat St, Lyneham. More info see: groups. google.com/group/gayactsquash
COMMUNITY GROUPS 46
GIRL THING ON RAW FM 87.6 Wednesdays & Sundays from 7pm For girls who like girls. Presented by Tori Mac, an hour of sexy house and electro served up girly style. QWIRE WANTS YOU! Want to be involved with Canberra’s own gay and lesbian choir? Singers and non-singers encouraged. More info: canberraqwire@yahoo.com.au RAINBOW BOWLERS Meet new people on ‘Gay Bowling’ Sunday nights at Belconnen Bowling Alley. 1 Emu Bank from 7pm.
RAINBOW BUBS A playgroup for same sex parents and their kids. Email Michelle at hoogied@yahoo. com for info.
ACTQUEER A free email list for LGBTI people in Canberra and surrounding region. groups.yahoo.com/group/actqueer
AIDS ACTION COUNCIL The AIDS Action Council provides information, support and services. More info: www.aidsaction.org.au
BIT BENT YOUTH GROUP Meet other young people, get support or just hang out. Mondays at Belconnen Youth Centre 6pm – 8pm and Thursdays at the Woden Youth Centre 5pm – 6.30pm. For more info email: bit_bent@hotmail.com
ACTOUT ACTOUT is an informal outdoorsie activities group for Canberra’s gay and lesbian community. More details: www.fusemagazine.com.au UNI OF CANBERRA LGBTI GROUP A social group for all LGBTI students staff at the University of Canberra. Queer Space is located at the UCSA building 1 Uni of Canberra. Info email: sexuality@theucsa.org.au LONG YANG CLUB ACT A social club for Asian and nonAsian gays and their friends. More info: lyccanberra@gmail.com
FUSE
BENT LENSES Canberra’s very own Queer screen culture group. www.bentlenses.org
FRUITS IN BOOTS A social and support network for rural GLBTI members outside the ACT. Email: fruitsinboots@gmail.com
CANBERRA BEARS Bears at the Bar is held at 4pm, first Sunday of each month HUSH. For the bear facts: www.bearscanberra.com
33 Petrie Plaza Civic, Canberra City. www.cubenightclub.com.au More p34 THE HUSH LOUNGE Hush is a unique and stylish gay and lesbian (GLBTI) lounge bar. It has a friendly, relaxed and chilled feel about it with regular live music, shows and great food. Cnr Launceston & Irving Streets, Phillip. www.hushlounge.com.au More p36 TILLEY’S DEVINE CAFE For over 26 years Tilley’s has been a gathering place for the gay and lesbian community. Warm and sumptuous, it’s famous for its food and fabulous coffees and cake. Tilley’s is a place for everyone. With a fully licensed bar, you can enjoy champagne with breakfast, or in the evening savour a broad range of wines, spirits or boutique beers. Corner of Wattle & Brigalow Streets, Lyneham. To reserve your favourite table or booth call us on 6247 7753. More p33 BAR32 Bar32 is gay friendly bar and nightclub with a mixed younger crowd. Indy and alternative dance music and bands. 32 Northbourne Avenue, Canberra City. www.bar32.com
RAINBOW BUBS Rainbow Bubs and IVF Support Group is a playgroup for same sex parents and their kids as well as a support group for GLBTQ people who are thinking about starting a family. More info: hoogied@yahoo. com
CHAMPIONS MEN’S LOUNGE Canberra’s men’s space. Champions Lounge is located within Mustang Ranch and is a venue for men who want to meet men. More p47
CANBERRA GAP GROUP Gap group is a monthly coffee/drinks group for same sex attracted women and gender diverse people. Contact: meganmunro2001@yahoo.com.au
Want to know ‘What’s On’ or be listed here, then visit us at www.fusemagazine.com.au
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FUSE 47
DEAR ROSE
Dear Rose, I’m not gay, but a mother and read FUSE every month. I’m pretty sure my son (16) is gay and is not coping. We have always been close, but lately he is very distant. What should we do, I don’t want to interfere in his life, but I’m worried.
Rose
Dear
If you would like to write to Dear Rose please email her at dearrose@fusemagazine.com.au ~ letters are placed either here or on the Fuse website fusemagazine.com.au
Worried Mum. Dear Worried Mum, You’re a total sweetie “Worried” and bless your cotton sox for noticing something is changing with your son!!! Will you be my Mum too? “Coming out” is a huge deal, especially at age 16, because as most of us remember, at 16 all you ever want to be is just like everyone else. Grappling with the idea that your sexuality is different from others can be the most terrifying thing in the world. And unlike other things in life, once the news is out there, it’s out there as well as all the implications that go with it. Most young people struggle with this self actualisation, not because they can’t cope with the fact that they are gay, but because it may change how their friends and family may treat them. The best thing for you to do is create a situation where you can tell your darling son that, ‘no matter who you are or what you do, I will love you and support you because you are my son’. Take him out shopping, walking, coffee, whatever, but create a “mother and son” moment where you can tell him how much you love him and that there is nothing that he can’t tell you that would ever make you ashamed of him — that he can tell you anything. Remember, it may be that he knows he is gay, it may not be, it might be something completely different, either way, get in there and remind him that you are there for him, no matter what. And if he does come out to you, talk to him, be there for him, but also make sure that you seek your own support, a friend or join PFLAG. It’s important that you also have someone to talk to.
Dear Rose, My new girlfriend (6 months now) really dislikes my best friend (a gay boy) who I’ve been mates with since school. I would say she is just jealous, but I’ve noticed she doesn’t really like men at all for some reason. It’s difficult and I’m not sure how to handle it. Bec Dear Bec, If there is one hard lesson that I have learnt in life it is that lovers come and go, but your best friend always will be, especially when a lover breaks your heart. It’s really sad that your new girlfriend has a thing about men. I don’t understand it but some women feel “icky” about men in their lives. I personally don’t get it, because most of us have to deal with the opposite gender in our lives, whether it be work or in families. We don’t live on a planet that men live on one side and women live on another. My best advice is to have a discussion with the new girlfriend and get down to the nitty gritty of what is on her mind. Find out whether something has been said or done between the girlfriend and the best friend that you might not know about. My best Dear Rose advice is to deal with this issue as soon as you can, or you may find that you will be in that awkward position of having to choose between either one!
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}
Dear Rose, I “came out” to my family when I was 15. I am now 17 and happy, but my brother hates me because I am gay. I know I should live my life for me and not for him and I also know to be happy with all the choices that I make. But the fact that my brother hates me for my choices really does upset me and I don’t know how to deal with him. I have been put into tears because of him and the things he has said and I really don’t know how to deal with it. It is getting too hard. He destroyed a past relationship by being himself and being rude and it crushed me when he did it. I really don’t know what to do? Please help J.E Dear J.E It sounds like you need some Rainbow Family Intervention! I could get a group of my rainbow flag wavers and stand out the front of his school /work singing, ‘We shall overcome!!!’ that will really get him going. But seriously before we do that, you need to establish in your mind exactly what behaviour your brother is doing that is disrespectful and unfair. I suggest this because if you really want some changes in the way he behaves towards you, you need some specifics in order for him to take your concerns seriously. The last thing that you need is to have him brush it off as a brotherly rough and tumble thing or worse, ‘I was only joking, can’t you take a joke?’ Explain to him how his behaviour makes you feel and that if the roles were reversed and he had something that made him a little different that you would never treat him that way. And regardless of how he feels about you being gay, you need to remind him that you are brothers and that nothing in the world will change that. If that doesn’t work, you can always call in the big guns and get Mum and Dad to intervene, the big guns tend to not tolerate that kind of behaviour!
‘‘
DEAR ROSE’S
QUOTE OF THE MONTH Nobody can hurt me without my permission. Mahatma Gandhi, Indian philosopher and practiser of non-violent protest.
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