Fusion 6th edition by Fusion Lifestyle Magazine

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lifestyle magazine ISSUE 06

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5 essential tips for money investors Hair to toe beauty tips Hot fashion trends

BUSINESS EVENTS BEAUTY FASHION HEALTH INSPIRATION ENTERTAINMENT 1

Welcome to Ghanaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s First Apartment Hotel A luxury complex of 24 Apartments classically furnished and has two bedrooms, spacious sitting room and a kitcheneette The Picasso restaurant will delight you with our Spanish, Italian, Continental and Ghanaian cuisine. lunch meetings and parties can be held here. For jazz loving people, Kwekuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bar is a cozy, classic and intimate environment where you can enjoy your cool jazz music whiles you wind down. Dodge the traffic, relax and enjoy our live band this and every wednesday, friday and saturday by the swimming pool.

Telephone:

+233 30 277 1712

Faximile: +233 30 762 942 www.crownapartamentohotelghana.com 3

From the EDITOR

CONTENT

Welcome to the 6th edition of Fusion,When my team and I were planning this edition,we had one thing in mind, diversity. In this edition,we touch on several aspects of life.Business, Inspiration, Fashion, Beauty, health and fitness.

Easy Ways To Make Fitness A Habit 22 08 Cover Model: Official Launch Joycelyn Aduakye 23 09 Of Yougora Caring for Your Fashion Basics 25 Womanhood 10 Culinary Tips with Ethel 26 Hair To Toe 14 Beauty Tips 7 Ingredients To A 28 Healthy Relationship 4 Simple Tips To 16 A Fuller Life Me, My Wife & Jane 154 Graduate From 33 Fusion team 19 BlueCrest College 36 Directory 5 Essential Tips For Money Investors

Our columnist, Vasty shares with us tips on how to care for your woomanhood,a basic necessity for everywoman. Each edition is carefully planned just for you.Enjoy it.

Publishers Fusion Production

fusion

lifestyle magazine ISSUE 06

FREE!

5 essential tips for money investors Hair to toe beauty tips Hot fashion trends

BUSINESS EVENTS BEAUTY FASHION HEALTH INSPIRATION ENTERTAINMENT

Editor Melissa E. Ahadzi Co – Editor Mic Yamoah Marketing & Production Roland N.D Addy Design & Layout fusion Production Contributors Vasty Klutse klenam Fiadzoe To advertise call 0208720326 | 0243442286 Email Fusionmag.gh@gmail.com

Cover Model: Joycelyn Aduakye Make-up:Paint me beautiful by Akai Designer: Gorjiors by Royal dennis Photographer :RQV Studio 6

Like us on facebook Fusion Lifestyle Magazine GH Follow as on instagram Its_fusionmagazine

Velmaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Millinery Supplies 15th Lane ,Osu RE,Oxford St(Inside sarahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fabrics) 0249106325 /0262106325| www.velmamillinery.com

Stripped Hackle Coque & Brush Feather

Stiffened Window Sinamay

Plastic Combs

Hat Box

Plain Stiffened Sinamay

Cone Fascinator Hat block

Hand Made Silk Flower

Braids Base

Spotted Veiling

Metallic Comb

Goose Bunch

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5Essential

Money

R 1

Tips For

Investors

ead this carefully and keep this magazine. Adhering to these points can make a big difference towards reaching your financial goals.

To Retire Rich, Start saving Now. I’m sure many of you have heard this before and it seems like simple advice. However, the importance of this point deserves emphasis and repetition. Consider a goal of accumulating GHȻ1 million by age 65 and that you are able to earn 8% return per year. According to a renowned mutual fund company, if you put off investing until you’re 45 years old, you will have to sock away some GHȻ121,900 a year. However, if you begin investing at age 25, you’ll need to make an annual investment of just GHȻ3,900. That’s a big price to pay for procrastinating.

Don’t Confuse Saving with Investing. I am sure many of you are intent on saving for a house, a car, higher education or something else. By all means, continue saving, but don’t invest your savings in stocks and stock mutual funds if you plan to make a large purchase within the next four to five years. Remember, investing will work wonders for you, if and only if, you put time on your side. Time periods of less than five years may not give you enough time to recover from a substantial market drop. The sensible thing to do when saving money for a short-term objective is to invest in a certificate of deposit, short-term bond fund or money market fund.

Take Full Advantage of your Pension scheme These days many employers have pensions plan available, whereby, you the employee are responsible for contributions and how you want the money to be invested. These plans offer a 8

great opportunity to accumulate enormous sums of money. The money that you contribute from your salary is tax-deductible and will grow without being taxed. Some companies will match your contributions, but even if your company doesn’t, a retirement plan is still a great wealth building tool.

You don’t need large sums of money to begin investing. An automatic investment plan is a terrific idea for a young investor and here’s why: •You pay yourself first every month before you pay the bills and before you start spending •It turns you into a disciplined investor •It’s affordable as I mentioned before •It helps you avoid the pitfalls of market timing •You will be a smart investor because you’ll be buying more shares when prices are low and fewer shares when prices are high

Choose Stock Mutual Funds for the core of your portfolio. Mutual funds are terrific for the young investor because they allow investors to own many company stocks without having to shell out large sums of money. Assuming the fund is properly managed, it should provide exposure to companies in several different industries. For starters, I would look for a conservative fund that invests in large company stocks in many different industries. Before I wrap this up and let you get on your way, I want to remind you we cannot count on the government, unions or big corporations for income and health care in retirement. Therefore, you must view stocks as a defensive investment necessary for combating the biggest risk facing us all: Outliving your money. credit Jeff Golden

Fashion Basics w

hen it comes to fashion and style, it sometimes seems that everyone and their mother (literally!) have triedand-true tips and tricks they absolutely swear by. Some are useful, while others - well, not so much. With that in mind, we’ve culled 101 of the best from the best: designers, lifestyle experts and, of course, our readers. Trust us: With these gems, you’ll be well on your way to living your most stylish life. • Use white wine to remove red wine stains.

• If you get an oil stain on your favorite handbag, coat the mark with baby powder and let it stand overnight. By morning, the stain should be gone. If a bit still remains, repeat the process until the stain is completely gone.

• If you don’t have time to try on jeans in the store, try the Neck Method: You can determine your size by placing the waistline of the jeans around the diameter of your neck. If the waistline of the pant comfortably meets at the back of your neck, then the jeans will fit. • Never put a garment on immediately after ironing, as this can actually cause new wrinkles to form. Instead, let it sit for five minutes to set the press. • Snap clip-on earrings onto flats for an instant evening shoe, or onto shirt collars for DIY embellishments.

• Panty lines are not okay! Every woman should invest in nude, seamless underwear.

• Add a 1/2 cup of distilled white vinegar to the final rinse cycle while doing laundry to maintain the wash of your favorite pair of dark jeans. • Everyday bras should be replaced every three to six months, as that’s when they start to lose elasticity and support. 10 10

• Ideally, a pencil skirt should hit just at the top of your knee. Any lower and it will start to shorten your leg.

• Still look chic while showing some skin : If you’re wearing a miniskirt or shorts, cover up on top. If your top is skimpy, go for full-coverage bottoms.

• Hoop earrings are a classic style that every woman - regardless of age - should have, but the type depends on your face. If you have a thin face, go for larger round or embellished hoops. If you have a round face an elongated hoop or drop style is best. • Heat can warp your glasses frames, so always keep them in a hard case and never wear them on your head on a hot day.

• It’s a myth that loose styles flatter a large bust or a plus-size woman. The area just under the bust is a woman’s smallest torso measurement, so emphasizing it with a structured waistband that hits higher than your natural waist will make you look a size smaller. • Pile on good accessories - scarves, sunglasses, hats, statement jewelry - to instantly transform even the most basic outfit.

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Gorgeous Hair

Don’t use the strongest relaxer EVERY TIME you get your hair relaxed. The super strength and industrial strength relaxers are traditionally used on African American hair because it is so resistant to straightening. Nothing wrong with that. Just don’t use it EVERY time. Alternate between the mild and strong relaxers (of the same brand) so your hair gets some rest between uses of the strong stuffCondition your ends. By tradition many African Americans avoid conditioner. As a result they have damaged breaking hair. CONDITIONER IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. Conditioner strengthens hair. Condition the length and ends of your hair daily or at minimum every other day, AND DO NOT APPLY CONDITIONER TO YOUR SCALP MORE THAN ONCE A MONTH. Do not put water on your scalp daily either, just the ends. Simply wet your ends about 2 inches from your scalp to the ends of your hair. Apply the conditioner according to the instructions. Your hair will love you for it. Conditioning your ends will keep them thick full and rich and they will not break easily.

Beautiful Brows

Get the right shape. If you have never had your brows shaped, have a professional do them the first time, and then you can maintain them. Here’s how to see where your brows should grow: Hold a ruler vertically on the outside of your nose. The inside of your brow should line up with the outermost part of your nose. Move the ruler toward your hairline, and find the point where the ruler is on its edge. Tweeze any hairs that fall outside of this zone. Try trimming. Sometimes, we don’t need the hairs tweezed, just trimmed. Brush your eyebrows up with an old mascara wand and trim the longer hairs with small scissors.

Bright eyes

Go Light Applying a lighter shade of eye shadow to the brow bone (the space below your brow arch) will have a dazzling effect on the eyes. Eyes will look brighter and wider.Plump those Lashes Using black or dark colored mascaras will definitely add definition to your eyes.

Pretty Face

Watch your diet and drink plenty of water. Remember, our skin gets its nourishment from the foods we eat and the fluids we drink, not just 1414

from our moisturizers.Smile. Your face will be ten times prettier by simply smiling. Remember, your face is your most obvious tool of expression. It’s the first thing people see. People form first impressions about us based on our faces. So show the world you’re feeling happy by smiling.You’ll not only be prettier, people will wonder what you’re up to. Pamper yourself with the Basics Water and good sleep are natural facial beauty enhancers. 10-12 glasses of water per day and six to eight hours of sleep every day is essential for your skin to revitalize and repair damaged tissue. Set reasonable limits, scale back your to-do list and make time to do the things you enjoy. It will help in curing acne breakouts and other skin problem

Lovely Lips

Licking your lips damages the protective barrier, which can dry out the lips, Instead, regularly apply lip balm keeps lips protected.Get lips soft and smooth by using a damp, warm washcloth at night to rub off the flaky dry bits; follow with a coat of lip balm. Smile when you put on your lipstick—it’s the best way to ensure complete coverage, corners included.

Smooth Legs

Improve circulation in your legs and lower the risk of unsightly veins by elevating your feet when resting. Wait until after your shower to shave. The steam softens hairs for smoother results. Don’t use creams that contain heavy fragrance or alpha hydroxy acids on freshly shaven legs. They’ll sting and cause a rash.

Model-Like Hands

Shape nails with an emery board, filing sides toward center—never straight across—and

rounding off edges.What works for your face works for your hands. Remove age spots with facial brightening cream.The fast way to remove nail polish: Hold cotton saturated with polish remover firmly on your nail for a few seconds to let it start working, then wipe nail clean. Apply polish starting at the pinky, working toward the thumb to avoid dragging your hand across wet

nails.

Happy Feet

Relieve swollen feet by soaking them alternately in hot water (for 3 minutes), then cold water (for 1 minute), for a total of 15 minutes. Use fresh pineapple, which contain bromelain (a meat tenderizer), to exfoliate heels. Rub the fleshy part over heels for 5 minutes, then rinse, dry and moisturize.To avoid toenail fungus, keep feet dry and clean, and remove athletic socks and shoes immediately after working out. Quick relief for weary feet: Place both hands under the arch and, pressing firmly, draw the hands upward past the ankle with a good strong pull.

Hair totoe Beauty tips 15

What’s Best for All The Power of Choice. Every one of us makes countless choices every day. Every choice we make has an impact on our lives. Even insignificant choices can affect what we experience and how we feel. When hunger strikes, we can reach for a healthy, nutritious snack, or we can choose the sugar high of junk food. The more important the decision, the more profound its effect How Do You Make Choices? If you are interested in living a richer, fuller life, there is a foundation upon which you can base all of your decisions which can make life better not only for you, but also for those around you. This foundation is to choose based on what’s best for all. “But how do I know what is really best?” you might ask. The answer is simple. It doesn’t matter. What matters is not the choice you make, but rather the intention behind your choice. What matters is that whatever decision you make, you are clear in your intention of choosing based on what’s bestt for all. If it later turns out that you made what appears to have been a bad choice, there’s no need for guilt. Knowing that you did your best to choose with a sincere desire for what’s best for all, your conscience stays clear and open. This then allows you to more easily learn from your mistakes, and to live with a clear heart and mind.

easiest or most enjoyable. Sometimes unwanted or unexpected challenges, difficult situations, and even pain can teach us important lessons that in the long run help us to enjoy life more fully. When we choose to see all experiences as gifts from the divine and opportunities for growth and understanding, we open to a deeper level of divine guidance.

Acceptance and Understanding

Our Core Essence. Deep down we are all beautiful beings worthy of love and support. The sweet innocence of babies and young children is a clear example of this. Yet for most of us, the shining essence with which we came into this life became obscured over the years as our family and others were unable to give us the kind of unconditional love and support we so craved.

Divine Guidance

The Mask. By the time we are grown, most of us have developed a protective mask or persona to hide these layers of fear and insecurity from others, and at times even from ourselves. Outwardly we might appear happy or content, yet on the inside most of us to varying degrees feel unhappy with who we are. Yet beneath it all, that shining essence is still there. No matter how much we may have forgotten, no matter how thick those overshadowing layers may be, our beautiful core essence is and has always been there.

Many Meanings for Divine. Guidance can come from many sources. Yet by opening to guidance from the divine, we open to the support of powerful forces greater than ourselves. The divine has different meanings for different people, whether it be God, Creator, Jehovah, Allah, or Great Spirit. Yet even if you don’t believe in any of these, consider the possibility that there is a very wise part of yourself—a higher self or a deeper self—which can provide you with guidance. What is important is that we open to this presence, however we choose to define the divine, and that we consciously invite this powerful guidance into our daily lives. All Requests Only if it’s Best. When seeking divine guidance with a specific result, be sure to end with “only if this is what’s best for all.” There are times when what’s best is not what’s

Courage. It takes courage to accept and work to understand our fears and weaknesses. Yet by doing our best to be fully ourselves in all our strengths and weaknesses, our relationships can grow richer, deeper, and more meaningful. This may be challenging, as some people are unable or unwilling to accept certain parts of us.

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Accepting and Understanding Myself. By choosing to accept and understand all of who you are—both your deep shining essence and the layers of dark clouds within—you can invite that beautiful inner essence to shine through the clouds and to shine again in your life. When fears, dark thoughts, or difficult emotions arise, first choose to accept that they are there. Then work towards understanding these dark clouds and where they came from. Ask for divine guidance as you explore and transform these dark places.

Yet as those around us see us becoming more real and honest with them, many will also be inspired to be more real and honest with us. Thus, instead of continually avoiding or denying those clouds or dark layers in both ourselves and others, we open to a deeper, more authentic way of living and of relating to others.

Love and Empowerment

Let me start with myself. I will do my best to love and empower myself to be the best I can be every day of my life. By making this commitment to yourself, it becomes easier to love and empower those around you. But do you really want to give this gift to all other people? What if you really don’t like someone? In this case, you can remind yourself that it is usually a person’s personality that you don’t like—the mask or dark clouds blocking their deeper essence. Remember that beneath the mask is a shining divine essence. While acknowledging those parts you don’t like, do your best to empower the shining being hidden beneath the mask or personality that you don’t like. You can choose to love and empower the divine spark within all.

Negative Judgment. Judging someone to be bad as a person does not empower or inspire anyone to be a better person. When you find yourself feeling negative judgment, first acknowledge the part of you that wants to judge—the part that wants to be right or better than others. Then do your best to learn from your judgment and let it go. Open to finding first acceptance, and then understanding and love both for you and for the person you judged. Choose to let your last thought always be that of love. Stopping harm. What if someone does something that is clearly wrong or causes harm? In this case, be firm and take whatever action you feel is best to stop harm. Enforcing a serious consequence with someone who has acted out of extreme self-interest may be the most loving, empowering action you can take. Yet even as you take action, open to seeing the inner turmoil that causes people to do harm. You can act from a place of love and support, even while firmly stopping someone from doing wrong or causing harm.

4 Simple Keys to a

Fuller Life

154

Graduate from BlueCrest College

lueCrest College (formerly NIIT Ghana College) organized graduation for 2nd batch of degree and Diploma students for its Accra and Kumasi campuses on 28th & 29th June 2013 respectively.

Speaking at the occasion in Accra, Dr. Kapil Gupta, Chairman - BlueCrest College stressed the need for maintaining the high standards of educational delivery in the country. He congratulated the graduating class for their effort and charged them to use their qualification for the development of their country. He also shared BlueCrest Collegeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vision to diversify into the field of Management, Oil & Gas and other sectors to provide world class qualification to students in Ghana.

BlueCrest College has tied up with University of Petroleum and Energy Studies (UPES) India and IPED-UK to offer degree, diploma and certificate programs in Oil & Gas, Aviation, Logistics & Supply Chain Management.

The Dean, Student Affairs, University of Education, Winneba, Professor Jonathan Armah, representing the Vice Chancellor informed the graduates about the challenges that they would face in their professional lives. He said they had been trained to cultivate the skills to identify, appraise, appreciate and fashion out solutions to IT problems, hence he expects that they would live up to expectation and work with people and for people, wherever the opportunity avails.

Prof. K.S. Nokoe, Dean - Department of Statistics and Mathematics, University of Energy and Natural Resources, who also chaired the event, asked the graduates to be mindful of the fact that they would be evaluated by society, not just by their academic qualifications they had gained, but also by their personal character, their sense of responsibility, their moral character, and their values to their communities and the entire Ghanaian society.

He charged them not to sit aloof and wait for government employment which by virtue of the numbers and the size of the economy would continue to be elusive. In all, 154 graduands were awarded. 96 of them received BSc in Information Technology, and 58 received Honours /Professional Diploma in Information Technology and Business. Mr. Jonathan Anderson received the first class award for the BScIT program and thanked the lecturers, friends and family for helping him achieve the biggest milestone in his life. Mr. Boateng Jackson Kwadjo received the Best Student award from the graduating class (Accra Campus). The event was attended by parents and guardians of students. BlueCrest College is affiliated with University of Education, Winneba to offer various degree programmes in the country.

Loc: No.7 king Tackie Tawiah Avenue, Adabraka Tel: 0244226767 | 0307037750

Loc: Adjacent Gak Clinic,Nyaniba Estate Tel: +233 540955350 | +233 307097737 Web: www.gorjiors.com

Easy Ways to

Make Exercise aHabit

et’s face it: it’s not all that difficult to start a fitness routine. After all, most of us have done it more than once. The trouble, of course, comes with sticking with it. All too often, our initial enthusiasm and energy wanes, we get distracted by other things going on in our lives, or we don’t think we’re seeing results quickly enough -- and we throw in the towel. Yet many people do manage to hang in there, and would no sooner skip their regular workout than their morning shower. What’s their secret? 1. Do a variety of activities you enjoy. And remember, there’s no rule that says you have to go to a gym or buy equipment. We’ve shifted

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our perceptions from regimented exercise to physical activity. Having a variety of activities -- weight lifting, walking, running, tennis, cycling, aerobics classes -- will ensure that you can do something regardless of the weather or time of day. 2. Make exercise a priority Plan to exercise at a certain time each day so it becomes a part of your schedule. If you know at six pm you have your favorite aerobic class, or made plans to meet a friend for an evening jog, stick with it. Planning your workouts ahead of time allows you to have something to look forward to and, like stated above; having a reasonable goal is essential in accomplishing them.

3. Exercise first thing in the morning If you exercise at about the same time every morning, and ideally wake-up at about the same time on a regular basis, your body’s endocrine system and circadian rhythms adjust to that. Physiologically, some wonderful things begin to happen; A couple of hours *before* you awaken, your body begins to prepare for waking and exercise because it “knows” it’s about to happen.

4. Be aware of all the indicators of progress. It’s great when your clothes fit better and you can lift heavier weights or work out longer without getting exhausted.But there are a slew of other progress indicators, such as: • Getting a good night’s sleep. • Thinking more clearly. • Having more energy. • Realizing your muscles aren’t screaming after you’ve helped a friend move furniture. • Seeing your resting heart rate drop over time. • Hearing your doctor congratulate you on improved cholesterol, blood pressure, bone density, triglycerides, and blood sugars. 5. Reward yourself. Are you telling yourself that you don’t deserve a reward for something you should be doing anyway -- or that you can zip your jeans without lying on the bed, that will be reward enough? Well, honestly, how inspiring is that? Experts say that making behavior changes is hard, and rewards motivate. So decide on a goal and a reward, and work toward it. Do whatever works for you. Essentially, working out on a regular controls weight, combats health conditions and diseases, improves mood, boosts energy, promotes better sleep and puts the spark back in your sex life

JoycelynAduakye Cover Model

Age: 21 years old

Height: 5â&#x20AC;? 7.5ft tall

Joycelyn Aduakye, winner of Miss West Africa Ghana Started Modeling after she was discovered by a model instructor who introduced her to a modeling agency. She has been modeling for 4 years now. Joycelyn is a student studying Telecommunications engineering at Ghana Telecom University. Her portfolio includes Runway shows, Photo modeling, commercial modeling and fashion brand modeling for both local and international designers. Portfolio For runway modeling, I have worked with various fashion houses both local and international, including :

Runway shows Ghana fashion and design week 2012 |

Achievements Miss West Africa Ghana 2012 (Still Reigning) (Represented Ghana in the Miss West Africa International 2013 beauty pageant held at Cape Verde)

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...real designs for real people...

Location: Osu,244/2 Abebresem street,2 buildings from Radio XYZ and right underneath Nice Nails 054-345-9000 | 020-886-8652| :selinabebgh@gmail.com :selinabeb| :@selinabeb :@selinabeb

It is also advisable to eat yoghurt containing lactobacillus at least once a week to promote the growth of normal vaginal flora.

Caring for your Womanhood

remember as a little girl taking a shower, my mother repeatedly told me to bend down and wash “in-between your thighs.” I always wondered why I couldn’t wash standing up. I guess that was her way of making sure I was properly cleaned. Every girl wants a clean good smelling private area, and even though it is easy to achieve, it can sometimes be slightly difficult and somewhat challenging.

Always remember the following tips: Wipe from front to back Wet wipes leave the area wet leading to bacterial growth and odor. Use regular toilet paper. Never apply powder to the vagina because when you sweat, the powder can cake in the creases and cause a stench Never spray anything directly on the vagina unless prescribed by your healthcare provider. Most sprays can be very irritating to the vagina Avoid wearing wet underwear, change any pads and underwear as soon as they are wet. Douching is generally not recommended because the vagina is self-cleansing Washing the vagina with plain water twice a day is ideal and sufficient. Follow the above tips and you have nothing to worry about, however, if you experience any abnormalities like foul odor, irritation or abnormal discharge, please contact your healthcare provider.

My recommendation, do use any products for your vagina, it is a waste of money and can actually be problematic. Credits: Vasty nauvyk@gmail.com

Therefore in order to project how to keep the vagina clean, we are constantly bombarded with various products: vaginal washes, wipes, douches, gels, creams and even lubricants claiming to keep the vagina clean and from bacterial infections. With all the products out there, it can be confusing as to what is actually healthy and beneficial to our privates. Most women have different practices and ‘rituals’ when it comes to keeping the vagina clean. When considering what the best practice is regarding the vagina, keep in mind that this is a very sensitive area that was made to actually clean itself. It does not require any soap or antibacterial products. In fact irritations and infections can occur due to the use of any harsh products.

Culinary Tips with Ethel Cucumber and Tuna Salad Canapé

Hi lovely readers, it’s good to massage your appetite by trying something simple but unique.

Canapés. A canapé is an appetizer consisting of a piece of bread or toast or cracker topped with a savory spread. These flavor packed bite size morsels are perfect for a party or small gathering. Ok. It’s a friend’s birthday and I want to throw a small surprise party for about 10 people, but I don’t want anything over expensive. I just want something small and different. Canapés to the rescue.

Canapés are very simple to make and nutritious as well. One can use meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, bread and biscuits. Wear your creative cap as we make a simple canapé. Ingredients • 1 large cucumber • 1 can tuna flake • 1 table spoon mayonnaise • 1 large tomato • 1 medium sized onion • Mixed spices (garlic, ginger blended together) • Red cayenne pepper • White pepper • Pinch of salt • 1 tsp honey 26 26

Method 1. Wash cucumber, tomato and onions in salty water and put in refrigerator until ready to use. 2. Drain stock or oil from tuna flakes and using a fork, mash it. 3. Slice cucumber about 1 inch thickness (do not peel) and arrange in a plate set aside. Chop onion and tomato finely. 4. In a mixing bowl, put chopped tomatoes and onions together, then add tuna, and mix together. 5. Add mayonnaise, mixed spices and white pepper together. 6. Add 1 teaspoon honey and mix together. 7. Take cucumber from the fridge and put a tablespoon of salad mixture on top of it. 8. Continue until all the cucumber slices are finished then sprinkle a little cayenne pepper on it. Put in refrigerator or serve immediately. You can use corned beef in place of tuna flakes. For a more hot spicy flavour sprinkle a dash of ground black pepper on it. Is this not simple? Enjoy. credit: Ethel Vardon-Odonkor elvardon@yahoo.com

Opposite Royal Aluminium Systems, Labadi Tel: 024 775 7880 | E-mail: ďŹ dausgh@yahoo.com 27

Ingredients of a

Healthy Relationship

28 28

hroughout our lives, we are involved in many different kinds of relationships. We have friendships, romances, work and schoolrelated connections, family ties, and, quite often, relations that defy categorization. Each of these situations has the potential to enrich us, adding to our feelings of self-worth, enjoyment, and growth. These relationships are healthy.

On the other hand, in other situations, we may find ourselves feeling uncomfortable. It can be difficult to come to the realization that a lover, friend, colleague, or family member is not treating us with the respect we deserve. Keep in mind that in all kinds of kinships, there is likely to be some disagreement, need for compromise, and times of frustration. These alone do not necessarily indicate that a relationship is unhealthy. Here are some things to think about when considering whether a particular bond is a healthy one or not:

Emotional Responsibility This is the most important ingredient for creating a healthy relationship. When people do not take responsibility for their own feelings, they tend to try making their partner responsible for their own happiness, emotional safety and self-worth. As adults, happiness, emotional safety and self-worth come from how we treat ourselves and others, rather than from how others treat us. Therefore, if we are abandoning ourselves rather than loving and valuing ourselves, we will feel unhappy and emotionally unsafe, and have low self-worth. If we then blame our partner for our feelings, we participate in creating an unhealthy relationship. The main thing that causes relationship problems is emotional self-abandonment, which generally occurs in four ways: ignoring your feelings by staying in your head rather than being present in your body, judging yourself, turning to various addictions to avoid your feelings, and making others responsible for your feelings. Learning emotional responsibility is vital for creating a healthy relationship.

Kindness, Acceptance, Compassion and Empathy Relationships thrive when both partners are kind, accepting, compassionate and empathetic. This occurs naturally once you have learned to be kind, accepting and compassionate toward yourself, but it becomes a huge challenge when you are abandoning yourself. Again, the ability to be kind with others is directly related to learning to be kind with one’s self.

Warmth, Affection, Connection, Laughter and Fun. When people take loving care of themselves and take responsibility for making themselves happy, they generally want to share their happiness with loved ones. When you learn to stay connected with yourself, you likely want to share your connection with loved ones. Warmth, affection, connection, laughter and fun flow easily when both partners have learned how to take responsibility for their own happiness.

Learning through Conflict Healthy relationships have a system for learning from their conflicts and resolving their conflicts in ways that work for each partner. Healthy partners are able to listen attentively to each other’s points of view and do not get stuck in having to be right or having to win.

A healthy relationship is an evolving relationship -- i.e., each partner is learning and growing through the relationship, and often through the conflicts. Conflict can provide fertile ground for learning when each partner’s intent is to learn, rather than to control or avoid being controlled. The basis of a healthy relationship is when each partner maintains an open intent to learn about loving themselves and each other, rather than being intent on protecting/ avoiding/controlling. It is the intent to learn about love that leads to being able to take personal responsibility for your own feelings.

Trust That You Support Each Other’s Highest Good -Joy for Each Other’s Joy In healthy relationships, partners trust each other to not deliberately hurt each other. They support each other in what brings each person joy, and they feel joy in witnessing each other’s joy. Healthy partners, instead of being threatened by each other’s success or joy, are delighted by it.

Spark -- Physical, Emotional and Intellectual There is a spark that exists in healthy relationships that is not easy to define, but most people know what I mean by this. You enjoy being physically next to each other. You enjoy talking with your partner, playing with your partner, and sharing your feelings with your partner. You enjoy making love with each other. A spark is not a superficial thing -- it is not based on looks or status. Rather, it’s about the deeper loving energy that exists between two people. Often, people feel a spark at the beginning of their relationship, but self-abandonment and the intent to control generally squash it. Spark is maintained by all the above ingredients, and can be maintained throughout the relationship. When you see older, long-married couples still gazing at each other with love, you are seeing the spark -- the deeper energy of love that exists between them. These people love each other on the soul level; time and aging take nothing away from the spark when people love each other on this deep, essence level. Due to this deeper love -- this spark -- these people are able to maintain their experience of being connected with each other throughout the trials and tribulations of relationship challenges.

By doing your own inner work to become an emotionally responsible, kind and loving person with yourself and each other, you can create a healthy, loving relationship!

Enjoy Time Together and Time Apart In healthy relationships, partners thoroughly enjoy being together, but their well-being is not dependent on being with each other. Emotional dependency is the opposite of emotional responsibility. While some people enjoy being together all the time, some partners also enjoy being with their own friends or pursuing separate interests, and in a healthy relationship, they are supported in doing this by their partner.

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continuation...

is words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door,

I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to the office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

me, my

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad,

Credits: Amanda a d a m s o n

wife and Jane

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