nomic Club of Canada Meet Taylor Dhamo, a Mother of 2

Meet TAYLOR DHAMO

WORDS BY SARA MAGINN PACELLA PHOTOS BY ELZA PHOTOGRAPHIE

Taylor first felt that something was wrong at 17 years old, when a pain in her hip (presumed to be a sports injury) progressed into her back. It took two years of persistence, pain, frustration, and being told that it was all in her head before she was given a diagnosis. A few years later, the aggressive tumors came back, impacting her future fertility, mobility, and quality of life. Now in her early 30s, Taylor is a mom, health advocate, and inspiration for perseverance.

The following interview excerpts have been edited for clarity and brevity.

How quickly did things move once you got your initial diagnosis? After an MRI in Buffalo, I dropped it [the results] off at my sports therapist’s office on a Friday night. When they saw something that needed attention, they sent it to a neurosurgeon. I had a call that Sunday to come in on Monday morning. They found a tumor the size of a plum in my spine that had grown into the nerves that operate my right leg and bowel. My life changed in an instant. Surgery was scheduled for Thursday. I had no time to prepare and had to sign wavers acknowledging that I might not walk again. The surgery was successful, my surgeon did an amazing job and got 95 percent of the tumor, and I had full use of my functions and a diagnosis of Intramedullary Myxopapillary Ependymoma (a rare and aggressive benign tumour that my doctor believed was probably a one-time thing).

What difficult decisions have you had to make over the course of your treatments? After the first time the tumor came back, they had to radiate through my reproductive organs. I was barely 20 and was told that if I wanted kids, I needed to freeze eggs and consider surrogacy. It was a lot to handle and at 23. I was very “out of sight out of mind,” and I decided it wasn’t the end of the world if I couldn’t have kids.

How have your decisions and treatment impacted your relationships? I met the man who is now my husband when I was 24, and things got serious after about a year of dating. I had never discussed my medical history in detail, so a year and a half into our relationship, I told him I wouldn’t be able to have kids. He was supportive and said we’d take everything one day at a time. Just one month after this conversation, they found a tumor between my shoulder blades. The location of this tumor meant I could lose all function below my shoulders. My sister and parents had been my support through previous surgeries and treatments. My husband did such an amazing job taking care of me that my family knew that he was the one. Thankfully, I was okay and even gardening a few weeks after surgery. We got engaged, but as our wedding approached, so did my anxiety. I had never made it to four clean MRIs, and when I got my fourth clean MRI, I was able to relax and enjoy our honeymoon in Italy. During our honeymoon, we discovered, despite all odds, that I was pregnant. It was a high-risk pregnancy, but it turned out to be uneventful, and my tiny but healthy daughter Nova was born.

How did you cope with post-partum depression? I barely listened to doctors about warning signs for post partum depression, and then when Nova was nine months old, it hit. For the first time in my life, I feared the tumors and not being around for Nova as she grew up. I called my mother 14 times a day in tears. I didn’t leave my daughter’s side. My husband eventually arranged for me to go to New York with a friend for a weekend, and despite my fears that everything would go wrong, it was okay, and I finally started to get better and slowly got my head back to where it used to be.

Around the time you turned 30, you were diagnosed with pseudo angiomatous stromal hyperplasia (PASH), a rare, noncancerous breast lesion, and your original spinal tumor had started to grow back, but you wanted to give Nova a sibling before you underwent more radiation. Tell me about that. I found an amazing naturopath and we began a “hail Mary” approach to supplements that would help reduce tumor growth—my vitamin cabinet was obscene. My next MRI showed the tumor had shrunk, and my doctors gave me the option of trying to get pregnant but

cautioned that if I wasn’t pregnant by January, I’d have to undergo surgery and radiation that wouldn’t allow me to get pregnant. It turned out I was already pregnant at that meeting with my doctor, so we were months ahead of schedule, but I had to stop my cycle of supplements to ensure a healthy pregnancy.

How was this pregnancy different than your first? One day, at six weeks pregnant, I felt something warm and uncomfortable. I realized I might be having a miscarriage. I went to the hospital, and it was suspected that I may have miscarried a twin, but there was another baby thriving. I was relieved, but three weeks later when I started bleeding again, they said everything was normal. At 15 weeks, my cervix started to shorten; I had to undergo a couple of small medical procedures throughout my highly monitored pregnancy, and all with modified bed

rest, with a three-year-old by my side. I made it to the end of pregnancy for a C-section birth because she was breach. My daughter was healthy and strong. Unfortunately, my post-pregnancy MRI revealed the hormones had made the tumor grow to five times its original size, and [it had] wrapped around scar tissue from previous surgeries. I put my daughter on formula and went in for surgery that same week.

How was this surgery different than the others? This was the first time I woke up with nerve damage after surgery; I could feel everything in my right leg, and then I lost feeling below my right knee. I was lying in the hospital, experiencing postpartum hair loss and stress, and I had to learn to walk again. I kept on falling, and I panicked about how I’d manage to take care of my kids if I couldn’t walk. I was scared about dropping my baby. My husband is amazing at not letting me go to too dark of a place. When I came home, my 3 and half-year-old understood she had to help me with her baby sister. I am so fortunate to have my mom and mother-in-law and such a strong family to help me get through this. I learned to walk, but with no feeling. Then that winter, I broke my ankle at the grocery store because without feeling, you can’t adjust to stabilize. When March hit, the pandemic aligned with my radiation treatment. As an immune-compromised new mom, we moved to Cambridge to live with my parents for support. I finished radiation the Monday after Mother’s Day.

What are some of the most important lessons you want to teach your children? Don’t be scared of life. I was a cautious kid growing up—one of my nicknames was “Chicken of the Universe.” The biggest lesson I’ve learned from everything was from those four years I spent not dealing with tumors but spent so much time worrying. If I can teach them not to be nervous, that would be the best lesson. For my future, there are no guarantees, there is no cure, you must keep moving forward. You are taking time away from your days by being scared.

What are you reading, watching, or listening to right now? I finished The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen and, considering

the tone of society right now, this book written about Vietnamese refugees coming to the USA is really interesting to read, paralleling life right now. After I finished this book, I downloaded a Vietnam-themed war playlist. It led me back to one of my favourite soundtracks, Good Morning, Vietnam. That soundtrack brings back childhood memories of my dad putting [the movie] on during the weekend and my sister and I knowing it was time to do chores. I grew up listening to classic rock with my dad, and I’m happy to introduce my daughters to this music. I love the Lord Of The Rings films and often have them on in the background while I’m working in the evening. I am also a huge fan of classic Kung Fu movies!

What accomplishments are you most proud of? Not to be the corny mom, but being a mom. It’s not something that I ever thought I could do, and it’s something that I convinced myself, for a while, that I didn’t want. Every mom is willing to put their life on the line for their kids, and being able to show myself that I can put my life on the line to have a healthy baby and to be what my kids need is a huge accomplishment. It’s one of those things, like a happy accident, where you can see what you’re capable of doing despite people telling you it’s not going to happen.