Meet Anh Pham

Meet Anh Pham, Mother of Two and Breast Cancer Survivor

TELL ME ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE OF RECEIVING A CANCER DIAGNOSIS WHILE PREGNANT? When my husband and I initially found out that we were having another baby we were so ecstatic. Our first child Maxton was going to have a sibling and was looking forward to being a big brother. We’ve always wanted a big family and we tried over a year with no success. It was definitely a miracle that we were able to conceive again.

During the 1st trimester, I noticed that my breast was not the same as it was when I was pregnant with Maxton - it looked and felt very different. One day, I was in bed scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I took notice to an ad about breast self-examination. I decided to do it right then and there and ended up feeling a lump within my left breast. At first, I thought it was one of my milk ducts but the more I did the self-examination I knew something was wrong. When I told my husband, he didn’t seem too concerned at the time. He said to let my family doctor know as I was set to see her for my 17 weeks OB appointment. As the day came for my appointment – I made mention in regards to the lump that I had discovered to my family doctor, to which she proceeded with a breast examination. She too did not seem to be concerned and said that it might be one of my milk ducts. However, as I was scheduled for an ultrasound appointment, she made a request to have my breast scanned as well. During my ultrasound appointment, not only did we find out the gender of the baby but the technician noticed that the lump in my breast was solid. I was told to get a mammogram done right away. I was so scared and terrified for the baby but, the nurses and the technician had reassured me that it is safe for the baby. After the mammogram I got sent home to wait for my family doctor’s phone call. Within an hour my doctor called and said to come in right away. My heart was pumping, I started to think “OMG what if its cancer? What will happen to my baby? I can’t die, my family needs me. My baby is not even born yet.” So many negative thoughts were going through my head but I had to keep my cool in front of my family, especially for Maxton. When I got to my doctor’s office, she said that there is a suspicious tumour in my left breast. However, she had greater concern about the lump next to the tumour. I was recommended to see a Breast Surgical Oncologist and have a biopsy performed. I was numb. I didn’t know what to think or say at that time. I just held my son, crying and noticed that my doctor was also tearing up as well. My mom just rubbed my back and said that everything will be okay.

The next morning, I got a call from the breast surgeon office and they wanted me to come in right away. When I met the Breast Surgeon Oncologist (who is an incredible doctor) she was open and honest with me and said that there are two things that it can be. One - it is a benign or two - it is cancer. She said let’s hope and pray that it is not cancer. That same day I had three biopsies, two was done on my left breast and one was done on my right breast. I have to admit, it was very painful but I just kept my eyes closed and rubbed my belly so the baby knew that everything would be okay.

A week later, my husband and I went to see the Breast Surgeon Oncologist for the result. The moment that she walked into the room; I can see it in her face that something was not right. She looked at me and said, “I’m so sorry but it is cancer”. As I’m writing this right now, I can still feel the anxiety and fear that I felt on that day. She started to tear up and I held my husband and cried. I was in shock and didn’t know what else to say. The doctor then started to explain to me about the cancer and that it the most aggressive type of breast cancer. I was diagnosed with Stage III Triple Negative; it had spread to my lymph node because of the size of the tumour. At this time, I was already 22 weeks pregnant so she wanted to make sure that I was on their top priority list throughout my cancer treatment. She referred me to one of her best Oncologists who happened to be my mom’s client at her shop. She was another incredible doctor that I was blessed to have as part of my cancer treatment team.

A week after my diagnosis, everything was a blur to me. I started chemo right away and had lost all of my hair within two weeks. I had 4 chemo treatments in less than 3 months. My Oncologist and my high-risk OB wanted me to have the baby one month early so I can continue my chemo treatment.

The day of my induction, the OB doctor said that my body would be under a lot of stress if I were to be induced. She said that she would need a few hours to discuss with all of my doctors if I could have a c-section. At this point, I was mentally exhausted and all I wanted was to have the baby. That’s when my baby Ashton was born at 35 weeks healthy and strong. He was able to breath on his own and was kept in NICU for only a week. He was our little warrior.

HOW DID YOU MANAGE CARING FOR A NEW BABY, AND RECOVERING FROM A C-SECTION WHILE RECEIVING CANCER TREATMENT? WHAT WERE THE MOST IMPORTANT SUPPORTS YOU HAD IN PLACE WHILE YOU RECEIVED TREATMENT?

I started a different type of chemo treatment after my c-section. During that week, I had multiple scans and one of them was called a bone scan which is done through nuclear medicine. I wasn’t able to hold my baby for 72 hours. It was so hard not to hold and kiss him. My older son didn’t understand why he couldn’t go near his mom. During the time that I was getting treatment, my family was my #1 support. I was lucky that my parents live with me so they were able to help me with the kids. My sister and her boyfriend moved in for a few weeks to help out. Maxton would sleepover at my brother’s house during the time that I was getting chemo. My husband’s work was able to accommodate his absences so he could take me to my

The most important thing that I’ve learned about myself through out my cancer journey is self-love

treatments. I had so much help from my family and all that I needed to do was to focus on healing.

HAS BATTLING CANCER CHANGED THE WAY YOU PARENT? IF SO, HOW? Yes, it had changed a lot. I don’t have the same energy as I used to. There were days when I was able to run around and chase after the kids and then there are days when I just want to lie in bed all day. Both of my kids have different needs. Maxton is 4 now and he’s starting to understand when to let mommy rest. He would come up with ideas on how to play with mommy while she’s lying down. But one of our favourite things to do is to watch movies and cuddle in bed.

During my chemo and recovery from surgery, Ashton was still a newborn. It was easy to take care of him because all he did was eat and sleep all day. Now that he is turning one soon, he is a lot busier. I would try to find ways to keep him busy without tiring myself out. What we would do most of the time now is go for long walks, which is good for me or, I would lay inside an octagon playpen and watch him play. When there are days that I have zero energy, my husband or a family member will help take care of the kids.

WHAT IS THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION YOU WERE ASKED DURING TREATMENT? No one really asked me inappropriate questions. I think they were more concerned about me and the baby. I’m pretty sure that if they had questions, they would just google my diagnosis and were able to get answers from there LOL! However, when I was pregnant and going through chemo, a lot of people would ask me “Is it safe for my baby? What will happen to him? Have you done your research? Are you sure this is what you want to do?”. I understand that everyone was worried and concerned and that it was okay to ask these questions. But all I could say to them is that I trusted my doctors and that they know what they are doing.

WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU’VE LEARNED ABOUT YOURSELF DURING YOUR JOURNEY SO FAR? The most important thing that I’ve learned about myself through out my cancer journey is self-love. I had always taken care of other people around me and never really took care of myself and my mental health. I learned to accept help from others and focus on getting better and understanding what I need. I started to eat clean, workout whenever I had the energy and most importantly, I learned to meditate to help clear my mind.

What helps is to change your mindset to think positive. Every morning I would say or write 3 things that I was grateful for. Then I would write 3 affirmations about self love and acceptance. At night before I went to bed, I would thank God and the universe for the day. The more you train your brain to think positive the more you’ll build confidence and learn to love yourself.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DISCOVERY OF REIKI AND YOUR WORK AS A REIKI PRACTITIONER TODAY? I discovered Reiki when I was pregnant. I was following a young girl from Montreal on Instagram that has Stage 4 Breast Cancer. She was

an inspiration to a lot of people especially in the cancer community. She talked about Reiki and how it helped her cancer journey. So, I decided to do my own research and found my Reiki master name Daxa. I emailed her my story and right away she called me to book an appointment. It was 4 days before my induction when I saw her. I didn’t know what to expect and to be honest I was a little scared but when I met her, she made me feel comfortable and at peace. We talked for almost an hour and she said that she could help calm my anxiety. I told her that my anxiety was not about the cancer but it was about giving birth. After my session with her, my body felt very light and I felt like I was floating. It was one of the best feelings that I’ve ever had in a long time. That’s when I knew Reiki was the key to what was missing in my life.

During my recovery from my surgery and radiation treatment, I had reconnected with an old friend on Facebook. She is also a breast cancer survivor and during one of our talks she mentioned being a Reiki practitioner and how she got certified by Daxa. That’s when I knew it was meant for me to take her course and learn more about Reiki. My intention of becoming a Reiki practitioner is to learn how to self heal and to help my family and friends.

WHAT MESSAGE WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROVIDE TO OTHER PARENTS COPING WITH A CANCER DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT? The one thing that I would suggest is to find a support system. Whether it’s from your family, friends or cancer support groups. It is okay to ask for help and don’t feel bad for asking. One of the hardest things that I had to learn to do is accepting the help. I had always felt bad for asking, because I never wanted to put the burden on other people. But there are times that I had no choice. I needed the help in order for me to get better. It also made my family and friends feel better knowing that they were able to help me.

There are so many cancer support groups in the community, so don’t feel bad for reaching out. Not everyone has family and friends that can help. The community offers free babysitting, cleaning services, cooking services, therapies etc. Take advantage of all the help you need. It will definitely ease your mind; you will have less stress and most importantly you can focus on yourself.

WHAT ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF? The one accomplishment that I am most proud of is to be able to take care of my family and still be able to take care of myself. I learned to slow down and focus on what’s in front of me and be in the moment. If I felt tired, I was able to get extra help from my husband and my family so I could rest. If I have the energy and want to go for a jog or workout, I’ll ask my mom or my sister to watch the kids. I’ve learned that asking for help will only make things better for my well-being.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHEN THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC IS OVER? The first thing I want to do is book a trip to a tropical place with my family and friends. Our family vacations have always been a week or 10 days. But this time I would like to book 2 weeks or more. Only if my husband’s work allows it, LOL!