F-Word Spring 2018 by The F-Word

the f-word

spring 2018

Mission Statement At The F-Word, we define feminism as the demand for the equality of all people, regardless of gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, or religion. We firmly believe that feminist art and writing can be a powerful driver of positive social, political, and cultural change. We aim to provide a platform that privileges the voices of women, queer people, people of color, and other ethnic and religious minorities and help them share those voices with the world. In doing so, we hope to foster a dialogue and put a balanced face on feminism to show that this movement is not just for white women.

Dear Reader, We are so excited to present to you our Spring 2018 issue! Three years ago, we set out to rebuild this publication from the ground up, an endeavor which found success thanks to the many people who have touched us and helped along the way—from the talented writers and artists who have given us the honor of publishing their work to our diligent and dedicated staff, who have always done their utmost to make this magazine the best it can be. We began as a small group, rallying for content and funding. It was a massive undertaking, but we were met with positivity and endless help. We learned so much from working together and with our mentors. We published that first issue with so much love and hard work, and, in doing so, made a name for ourselves on campus again. Now, we are proud to say that we have increased our output to not one, but two issues a year (and, soon, a blog!), with a group three times the size of our original team. As graduating seniors, our journey as leaders of The F-Word ends here, with this amazing edition. And what an edition to end on—at 81 pages, it’s our longest one yet! This issue features a diverse body of voices conveyed across an equally diverse body of mediums—experimental writing, academic writing, poetry, prose, traditional and contemporary art If something isn’t your cup of tea, don’t worry! Just turn the page, and hopefully the next piece will catch your fancy. All we ask is that you come into this publication with an open heart and give each story a chance to win you over. The works inside these pages do not necessarily reflect the views of The F-Word, but we hope that regardless of how you enter this body of work you are able to leave with something more. Whether it be questions, solace, or conflict, our aim is that this publication stirs something within you and serves as a reminder that your voice is powerful, and that whatever injustice you see in the world, you have the ability to create radical change.

More than anything, we hope that this issue inspires you to expand your notions of what constitutes feminism. As feminists, it is crucial that we constantly challenge each other’s views and work to exist outside of our own echo chambers—especially the most privileged among us. We must recognize that feminism that isn’t intersectional simply isn’t feminism, and only serves to hold us back. More than that, we must acknowledge that feminism is not a solitary thing. It is a collaborative effort; we must work together and for each other if we wish to change the way the world operates, supporting each other even when, and especially when, it means putting aside our own egos to do so. We must, too, be willing to engage with the world at large. We have said before that there are spaces of humility within both art and writing. The kind of institutional change we wish to implement does not happen on the page alone. It happens out in the streets, through activism, and protest, and grassroots organizing. The world is changing fast. Our movement must adapt. As you enjoy this publication (that, after all, will always be our bread and butter), we hope that you will choose to engage with The F-Word in other ways, whether in person at our weekly meetings, online through our soonto-be blog, or in print by submitting to our physical magazine. Our door is always open! As we near graduation and our departure into the future, we feel confident that we are leaving this publication in capable hands that will carry on our legacy. We cannot wait to read your work in print, and we look forward to seeing how our amazing group of staffers continue to grow this magazine in the years to come. This journey has been incredibly rewarding, and we thank you all for being a part of it. Signing off, with positive vibes and feminist thoughts,

Regina Salmons and Sara Albert iii

Editorial Board Executive Board

Managing

Sara Albert Sophia Clark Regina Salmons Sabrina Ochoa

Production

Aneri Kinariwalla

Poetry

Maryanne Koussa Noelle Graham

Prose Art Copy Design

Anya Gilroy Lilli Leight Via Lim Sarah Fendrich Sarah Cronin Monica Chen Sophie Lee

Internal

Jordyn Shor Olivia Zietz

Treasurer

Anmol Jain

General

KaJaiyaiu Hopkins

About the Cover By Sophie Lee digital media

Drawing portraits is a kind of love. You look at someone, and you try to figure out all the little details that make a person special and singular. You try to capture pieces of time and light and breath. You become responsible, most of all, for honoring their truth. It is also a lesson. You are forced to confront your own biases, your worst fears and insecurities. There are questions that demand to be unpacked: What tendencies do I have for favoring certain faces over others? What are the features I code as ugly or beautiful or sexy or cute or boyish or girly? How did I come to these conclusions? And how are they causing hurt? From childhood, we are taught a definitive binary and how to perform it; we draw girls with dresses, ponytails, curves, and pink. To look back on my own old drawings is to see, in tangible form, the effects of growing up immersed in Eurocentric media and being raised to not look in the mirror for too long. When I first decided I would learn to draw people, I drew white people. That was the default, and I never thought twice about it. I drew the only faces I had ever seen with real stories in the books and movies I emulated, the faces I wanted because I had been told in so many explicit terms that mine was strange, the faces I could never have. But then these things begin to become undone. Artificial notions of beauty, both conscious and unconscious, fall away as your pencil shades in the subtle gradations of somebody’s cheekbone. “Her nose is too big,” becomes “Her nose is shaped like this, where the darkest part is here, and that highlight shows you where her nostril ends, and don’t forget this edge and there’s this curve over here, and that’s her nose. Isn’t that nice?” Freckles and blemishes are no longer flaws but the very things that bring the piece to life. “Looking pretty” takes a backseat to existing wholly. I found, through countless self-portraits of my own, that my face was not ugly but simply mine. This is the process I go through every time I draw people, real or made up; and it is always changing, as I, too, grow and change. The cover art for this issue in particular was not based on any reference image or model. The inspiration instead comes from a sense of peace. I wanted to paint somebody who was at home in their body, and to do it centered around that sentiment rather than attempts to make something necessarily “pretty.” The result, I believe, is imbued with a sort of quiet but undeniable strength in self and one’s own worth. A strength I strive to cultivate for myself. v

Content Warning Some of the following work describes or touches on themes of sexual assault and violence, and may be disturbing and/or triggering for some readers. Because of the nature of this publication and the importance of the process of discovery that occurs within the walls of each text, The F-Word does not provide specific content warnings for individual works. That said, the health and safety of our readers is of the utmost importance to us, and we urge you to explore these pages with discretion, and to read what feels right for you.

Campus Resources The HELP Line: 215-898-HELP: A 24-hour-a-day phone number for members of the Penn community who seek help in navigating Penn’s resources for health and wellness. Counseling and Psychological Services: 215-898-7021 (active 24/7): The counseling center for the University of Pennsylvania. Student Health Service: 215-746-3535: Student Health Service can provide medical evaluations and treatment to victims/survivors of sexual and relationship violence regardless of whether they make a report or seek additional resources. Both male and female providers can perform examinations, discuss testing and treatment of sexually transmissible infections, provide emergency contraception if necessary and arrange for referrals and follow up. Reach-A-Peer Hotline: 215-573-2727 (every day from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.): A peer hotline to provide peer support, information, and referrals to Penn students. Penn Violence Prevention: 3539 Locust Walk (Office Hours: 9 am – 5 pm), (215) 746-2642, Jessica Mertz (Director of Student Sexual Violence Prevention, Education) jmertz@upenn.edu, Read the Penn Violence Prevention resource guide. Sexual Trauma Treatment Outreach and Prevention Team: A multidisciplinary team at CAPS dedicated to supporting students who have experienced sexual trauma. Public Safety Special Services: Trained personnel offer crisis intervention, accompaniment to legal and medical proceedings, options counseling and advocacy, and linkages to other community resources. Penn Women’s Center: 3643 Locust Walk (Office Hours 9:30 am – 5:30 pm Monday-Thursday, 9:30 am – 5 pm Friday), pwc@pbox.upenn.edu. PWC provides confidential crisis and options counseling.

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Table of Contents MISSION STATEMENT.......................................................................................i LETTER FROM THE EDITORS........................................................................ii EDITORIAL BOARD..........................................................................................iv ABOUT THE COVER..........................................................................................v CONTENT WARNING......................................................................................vi CAMPUS RESOURCES....................................................................................vii

IN PREPARATION FOR SUMMER emily schwager.......................................1 SALT & HERB sophie lee....................................................................................2 APPARITION carole bernstein...........................................................................3 HELEN OF SPARTA HAS STOCKHOLM SYNDROME aliya chaudry........5 DECLARATION doricka menefee......................................................................7 MASCULINITY AND MASS SHOOTING moriah kofsky..............................8 BRAILLE torinn fennelly....................................................................................11 JUNEL sabrina ochoa.........................................................................................12 FIGURE 1&2 via lim...........................................................................................14 PLAYTHINGS IN THE PARK dorika menefee..............................................16 THE FIVE BEST SHAPES FOR THE (UNFLATTERING) BANGS YOU WANT veronica kowalski..................................................................................17 BOWLS AFTER SHANTA lisa zou...................................................................19 THIS IS NOT A LOVE POEM emily schwager..............................................20 POOL veronica kowalski....................................................................................21 (UN)QUEERING CLOUD ATLAS samantha destefano...............................23 SOLIDARITY robyn kweon...............................................................................26 WHERE IT ALL BEGAN zoe stoller.................................................................28 BABY GIRLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FIRST BIRTHDAY (DOLJANCHI) via lim............................30 HEGEMONIC MASCULINITY samantha fox...............................................31

PUMPKINS AFTER MIDNIGHT doricka menefee......................................38 ALMOST torinn fennelly...................................................................................39 GUMBALL torinn fennelly................................................................................40 FEMALE ROLE MODELS zachary walters.....................................................41 CURIOUS CAMOUFLAGE doricka menefee................................................42 BOYS torinne fennelly........................................................................................43 POST-FEMMAGE alyson del pino...................................................................44 BLANK WALLS aelita parker............................................................................56 MELT sophie lee..................................................................................................58 DREAM GIRL emily schwager..........................................................................59 HANDS sophie lee..............................................................................................60 AND NOBODY CAME—WOMEN WITNESSING OF LOST IN THE STORM maurice henderson..............................................................................61 RECEIPT OF MODERN TIMES jonida kupa................................................64 MOON RISING sophie lee................................................................................68 FIVE BEST CONCRETES TO FILL IN YOUR CROW’S FEET veronica kowalski................................................................................................................69 FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS anonymous.......................................................71 STREET HARASSMENT elena schiavone.......................................................74 STEVE WYNN regina salmons.........................................................................75 AS GIRLS WE via lim.........................................................................................78 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS................................................................................81

In Preparation for Summer By Emily Schwager

Picture this: I am standing in front of a bathroom mirror, naked. In one hand, a razorâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;pink and unused, it lies in my palm like an unwelcome house guest. Imagine me; All humid and nude, my belly, soft and round, tits sagging in the mirror. I am a gardener, can you tell? Every night, I stand in the shower and water my willow trees, fingers brushing calves, dripping steam, bleeding dew. I have whispered for years saying this is how to be a woman and this is how to please a man. Raised myself to cut and to clip and to crop and to kill, loving my body like a house chore. Beads of sweat stick to my bangs and sit on the red in my cheeks. My raw thoughts stand up, raise their fists and ask me how to love my body. I confront my reflection. I want to be naked in front of you, want you to drop to your knees, drop to your boniest bones and worship me in all of my nature. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell me how to define womanhood. I am not a lady; I am a gardener. Let me breathe life where I please. 1

Salt & Herb By Sophie Lee felt pen on paper

Apparition By Carole Bernstein Jowly, bucktoothed like a flabby bloated baby— the relative, with whom she cooperated— the disembodied face of the old abuser long since buried. Why does it recur, hang for paralyzing seconds in the pitch— dark bedroom, before her hand slaps for the switch? Years in the grave, yet completely fleshed: grinning insanely, rigor-mortis teeth-clench, eyes vibrating wide in laughscream hilarity. A crawling crotchconsciousness seeps through her. The damage— no matter what she understands, brings to light, forgives— still reaches into her pants. Later, behind closed lids: a medieval festival? Blazing sunlight. Flies, meat laid out on trestles;

puppets of wood and tin— his face is one of them—shaken on sticks in the broad light of day, the garish paints flaking, mingling with the dust. Pounding heels, hooting voices, warm, surround her. They know what he is! No place for him with the decent! The old evil lifts from her heart, shouldered now by all… But they’re only playing a part, and must perform this ritual endlessly. The characters re-gilded, their strange, corrupted names in the mouths even of children.

Helen of Sparta has Stockholm Syndrome By Aliya Chaudry

My dad, who apologizes before he Tells me Iphigenia’s story, Says Helen switched sides, Defected like the turning tides, When I asked him why Nobody bothered to clarify If she went by choice. He says it’s beside the point— They just needed an excuse To put their thousand ships to use. But I read Atwood first. Euripides and Virgil are worse: They give Helen the blame. The critics say it’s a word game Because if it wasn’t her, whose Fault was it? Paris read all the clues: Her dress, her smile, her hair. What she said he could care Less about. Helen is the culprit. Unless, you could say Aphrodite did it, Another woman in a battle of looks (Women don’t get words in men’s books). Or Hecuba, she had Paris, right? Who probably wasn’t even white. We were taught history is selection, A spin game, each fact ripe for correction. Maybe the phrase “victim-blaming” Is anachronistic, this kind of shaming Passes for truth. No one contests. Helen’s trauma never of interest, Helen’s conviction a narrative ploy— What’s her suffering compared to Troy?

They were looking for someone to name A villain. They took their aim: At Helen, an easy target, A captive. Let literature forget She had no power, no agency. A prize in their game, her destiny Was only to inherit all of our hate. A victim, she didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t deserve this fate.

Declaration By Doricka Menefee Princess Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what I think when I see her smile I wish she was of my flesh But my sisterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is close enough. Beautiful with slim eyes and dimples dotted, I want more for her than the scraps Society has thrown us Like stale breadcrumbs, To hungry birds. I want to shield her like a knight in shining brown armor From the men who just want a novelty. The title of bad bitch will never seem like a compliment. She will deserve the title of Queen. A crown of obstacles will never graze her head, because The ceiling will not be too much for her Just a starting point. When I look at my beautiful niece, I see endless possibilities in the form Of a sweet little brown girl. I see regality. I see what every princess desires to be A Queen.

Masculinity and Mass Shooting By Moriah Kofsky The 18th mass shooting of 2018 occurred on February 14th at a high school in Parkland, Florida where 17 people were killed and 14 were injured. The suspect is 19-year old Nikolas Cruz, who reportedly posted on YouTube that he would be a “professional school shooter” prior to the Parkland shooting. This is the 273rd mass shooting since Sandy Hook in 2012. New gun regulation policies that require background checks, a permit to purchase, registration of firearms, the licensing of owners, and a permit to carry will probably reduce mass shootings. But regulating gun access only eliminates a symptomatic cause of mass shootings—it does not eradicate the root. It does not eliminate the inherent motive for why men commit mass shootings. I say men because the shooter is nearly always a boy or man. Yet the national conversation about mass shootings instead centers on mental illness, gun control, and international terrorism. While America’s mass shooting epidemic can’t be distilled down to one cause, the national dialogue almost never mentions gender as a factor—unless the shooter is a man of color—while it is the single most reliable predictor. The common denominator of men becomes evident when examining the trends among mass shootings: 95 percent of mass shooters in the United States are men. Plenty of girls and women have easy access to guns. Plenty of girls and women are mentally ill, and women of color have the most difficulty accessing mental health services. So why aren’t women and girls committing mass shootings? Imagine if 95 percent of mass shooters were women. Wouldn’t gender then be central to our description of perpetrators? Manhood in the United States is directly tied to patriarchal heterosexual white masculinity. Our imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchal culture feminizes traits like vulnerability and sensitivity, teaches a boy to reject these traits, and perpetuates the idea of “manning up.” If you’re told from boyhood to “be a man” and that “being a man” entails violence, then of course masculinity becomes linked to violence. Video games and traditional militaristic ideology codify guns to be a boy’s toy. When society threatens to restrict access to guns, it threatens to restrict access to objects that construct a sense of toughness and dominance that bolsters a patriar8

chal man’s sense of masculinity. For mass shooters, the fear of ever seeming weak is remedied by exerting control over life and death itself with a gun. Sanctioning gun regulations controls a man’s ability to access objects that fortify systematic masculinity and patriarchal power structures. Misogyny thrives on the degradation of women, but misogyny implies ideals of virile masculinity. Today, we see these principles enacted in men who feel that they’re failing their ideals. Patriarchy also teaches men—especially white men—they are entitled to financial success, women, and power. When men don’t get these things, it harbors resentment, anger, and often, rage—it manifests in aggrieved entitlement. The offense here is not that men had power rescinded from them, but that they feel entitled to be in a position of power that they never had. The night before the USBC shooter committed a mass murder, he posted a video to YouTube saying, “For the last eight years of my life, since I hit puberty, I’ve been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection, and unfulfilled desires, all because girls have never been attracted to me. Girls gave their affection and sex and love to other men, never to me.” Texas church mass shooter Devin Patrick Kelly had a history of bribing women to hang out with him and assaulting them when they refused. The aggrieved entitled narrative is abundant among mass shooters. Men and boys committing mass shootings are classmates, sons, and brothers. They epitomize something about our culture. But when society’s first instinct is to other these boys and men, often by casting them off as mentally ill, they appear separate from the mainstream. Misguidedly ostracizing mass shooters allows society to continue operating without quetioning what we’re teaching boys and men about masculinity. And maybe we are teaching boys and men to accept mental illness. To benefit from therapy, a man must admit that he needs help, rely on a therapist, and express his emotions—all actions that have been feminized. Patriarchy and the variables that play into mass shootings, such as mental illness, don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Examining how they intersect to breed violence is important. But gender needs to be at the center of this conversation and all conversations about mass shootings. While protesting for gun control is important, we also have the immediate power to begin changing our behavior and ideas around masculinity as well as talk with people to change theirs. When you see a friend perpetuate patriarchy, speak with them with empathy to examine their behavior and ideas behind it. When analyzing the horrendous crimes mass shooters commit, do not forget that they are human. For numerous men, violence is an external manifestation of internal pain. 9

The correlation between men and mass shootings is undeniable. The questions we should be prioritizing are not only “Where did he get the gun?” or “What kind of gun did he use?” but also “What’s happening to men?” “Why do some men possess healthy masculinity while others don’t?” The answers lay within the systems, institutions, and individuals. We can only start to improve if we deconstruct and reconstruct imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy in each of these domains. There are two primary components to gun violence: guns and violence. We can regulate guns and likely reduce mass shootings. But we will never eliminate gun violence if we don’t look at hegemonic masculinity and the demands it puts on boys and men to integrate violence into their identities.

Works Cited Chuck, Elizabeth, Alex Johnson, and Corky Siemaszko. “17 killed in mass shooting at high school in Parkland, Florida.” NBC News. Patel, Jugal K. “After Sandy Hook, More Than 400 People Have Been Shot in Over 200 School Shootings.” The New York Times. Hartmann, Margaret. “How Republicans Have Been Making Gun Laws Worse Under Trump.” New York Magazine. Calamur, Krishnadev. “Australia’s Lessons on Gun Control.” The Atlantic. Follman, Mark, Gavin Aronsen, and Deanna Pan. “US Mass Shootings.” Mother Jones. Curphey, Shauna. “Black Women Mental-Health Needs Unmet.” Women’s E-News. hooks, bell. “Understanding Patriarchy.” Imagine No Borders. The Mask You Live In, directed by Jennifer Newsom (2015) Kalish, Rachel and Michael Kimmel. “Suicide by mass murder: Masculinity, aggrieved entitlement, and rampage school shootings.” Taylor & Francis Online. WITW Staff. “Texas church shooter reportedly tried to bribe women to be with him.” Women in the World. Qiu, Linda and Justin Bank. “Checking Facts and Falsehoods About Gun Violence and Mental Illness After Parkland Shooting.” The New York Times. Galdas, Paul, Francine Cheater, Paul Marshall. “Men and health help‐seeking behaviour: literature review.” Wiley Online Library.

Braille By Torinn Fennelly lavender walls, lavender glow, the smell of lavender linen, she’s sitting up stiff and prim like she’s waiting for a fire drill to begin. I’m chipping away at our pebbled,vulgar[history, she’s a [mystery -she’s all in [Braille, impossible to know her without touching her and I’m just so glad to be in this room] to be watching the sweat drip,,,,,,down her back she knows that this is the first draft, so she kisses’’’”” me on the mouth and promises me more. (I don’t know what it is, but I’m already drowning in it) If they ran in right now, I wouldn’t know the difference. I’m completely occupied -technicolor cheeks(flutter of sheets everything wanted or seen *** all sweet) -- peeling off her shirt to touch her breasts -she’s shouting in his defense, is there any love without violence? [why why why do I] always end up sprawled across the floor with something just(shy of what I’m searching for?

Junel By Sabrina Ochoa Smooth edges, yellow and red like a coral snake back home Papa told me poisonous animals hide in our front lawn. In the garden among the perennial blooms Mama on her knees in the dirt said we should still be happy here swallowed dry, red and brown like dust and burnt earth when the drought came made the lawn brittle I found a river that never stopped flowing inâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; the still unpolluted sky among the dead stars the Moon in her constant punctuality chastised me we should still be in sync here dull waves, green and gray like the sea right before Katrina constantly creaking and writhing my stomach indiscriminately uprooted itself in the bleached bone-white room before the bowl Mama on her knees next to me said we have to make sacrifices

vacuum, colorless I gulped daily to slip further into Synthetic numbness. After the annual trip to Beige, garden-variety office I longed to tell the man authoritative in his fresh, unstained robe we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t settle for this.

Figure 1&2 By Via Lim charcoal on paper, 2016

Playthings in the Park By Doricka Menefee You had me right where You wanted me Hands touching more than hearts Mouth on more than lips Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m your toy An intricate intimate play thing A portrait that moans Art that breathes Something moist Something new Borrowed actions Stolen kisses In the cover of darkness Just a finger Fuck in a park Another place Tarnished with Almost memories Sweetness stereotypically Turned sour One less object To fill this quota One more object to drive Into Obsession.

The Five Best Shapes for the (Unflattering) Bangs You Want By Veronica Kowalski

You’ve decided to commit to unflattering bangs—the easy part’s over. Now you have to choose which unflattering bangs you want. There are so many oddly specific versions of this self-inflicted hair mutilation to choose from, it’s overwhelming! If you don’t know whether to get baby bangs or a kind of mullet or whatever happens when you take a beard trimmer to the hair on the front of your head, this handy guide for choosing the best bang shape is for you! Waning Crescent If you want bangs that scream “I love lopsided things!” or “I paid 0-5 dollars for this haircut!” waning crescent bangs are the best unflattering shape for you! They’re a pointier, longer version of those horrid side bangs you had in 6th grade, but maybe even worse! They don’t even pretend to cover your five-head (you know, a forehead so large that it can’t be called a four-head anymore). Perfect for those overachievers who don’t just want extra forehead grease—this style really delivers in the chin zit department! Trapezoid How does one achieve trapezoid bangs? For those of you with five-heads, you get bangs the width of the bottom of your face that leave a couple of weird triangles of exposed skin! Wow, flash those sexy temples! This look may be slightly more difficult to achieve for those of you with pinheads. Don’t worry, though, to solve this problem you can always go for the inverted version of this look by cutting inverted triangles into the sides of your bangs, instead of having them appear naturally from having bangs too narrow for your wide, weirdly angular face. Shark Bites These are those triangular, super goth bangs Lydia Deetz has in Beetlejuice but actually cut into your hair instead of styled with gel! This cut gives major D.I.Y. haircut vibes due to how choppy and feral it looks, like a shark literally chomped your hair! Aside: “shark bites” isn’t technically a geometric shape, but as my hairdresser (me) says, “geometry is for lozers!”

Scrapbook Scissors This is another take on the Lydia Deetz look, but instead of razor-sharp hair bits, your bangs are scalloped kind of like if you used giant scrapbook scissors to cut them! This look is perfect for bringing out your inner craft bitch, who has been dying to come out since you bought all those doilies for “valentines” that you’ve actually been using as disposable coasters for three years! Dodecahedron How can bangs have twelve sides like everyone’s favorite polygon? I was imagining a Cousin Itt-esque look in which your bangs cover your entire face and the veil of hair that covers it is made up of twelve equivalent sides, duh! This is perfect for those of you who want a low-effort look! You’ll never have to try if no one ever actually sees your face! Maybe they’ll eventually assume you don’t have one, and then you’ll truly be in the clear! Now that you’ve read this, you’ll be on the road to extremely unflattering hair in a jiff! Bang safely, friends!

Bowls After Shanta By Lisa Zou

Ten times overâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; she says, if you say marriage enough times, it sounds like cage. In Nepal, Shanta scrawls numbers in italics and paints scenery you might find on the oldest of cave walls. Every other woman cannot read the books Westerners come in droves with. There are too many lessons this world has left to teach. In Pokhara, an old woman cures a village and has no degree like the English doctor who traveled a hemisphere to be here. He says, an educated girl grows up to be an educated mother; she says, and if I do not want to be a mother? There is only silence. In Nepal, one girl writes a poem that brings an audience a continent away to tears. In the afternoon, I translate Dickinson, Austen, and Woolf to Shanta. She says, bearing life means death for education. Her family name precedes her own; and her caste is now a chain. In Kathmandu, a girl buys enough food for her family, rat poison, and a rope. There are too many lessons this world has taught but not the right ones. In Nepal, there are temples more beautiful than the night sky and there are too many bowls and not enough rice. Nights where the distance between morning and mourning is a thread. I tell Shanta in broken Nepali that hope has such a short lifetime. She says, if you teach a girl enough poetry, humanity itself becomes immortal â&#x20AC;&#x201D;ten times over.

This Is Not A Love Poem By Emily Schwager Saturday mornings, we would travel to the forest after soaking cheap sushi in cheap soy sauce and sipping overpriced bubble tea— You, humming to the radio and me, arms swaying to the music, agile and vulgar as the cherry pits spat on the pavement of our street. We discovered treasures under our fingernails, treasures buried deep in your backyard. You, my yellow bird, made me radiate shades of the sun, made beams of light emit from my pores like sweat. You leave traces of yourself in my pockets. You will leave for Philadelphia on my birthday. 5am on a Sunday, you lay in your backyard with someone else, humming along with the earth’s rotation. The music you sing for her is the same you sing for me but—sweeter. She makes you radiate shades that I never will, never want to, be able to.

We must exist in stolen moments, those in between a breath, after the TV static has died down. This is where I wait until you pry yourself away and sneak to my house to make fresh squeezed lemonade and pancakes at 2:00am. We play soft music and avoid talking about her but when you leave I allow myself to flood the basement, to discover what the insides of my drainpipe look like. Feet firmly planted on the street we grew up on, I join the earth on its relentless journey around the sun. She is teaching me how to hum along, to reclaim myself. When you leave, I will invent new colors to radiate.

Pool By Veronica Kowalski imagine: a swimming pool emptied, now a hollow summer, ready for slimy leaves to fall into; ready to resist being jumped into I am not a space open for your leisure if my water felt soft on your boiling skin, it was a mistake if you took the absent whistle as an invitation, it was a mistake the lifeguard just wasn’t watching for you. she thought “no diving” an apt warning, that was a mistake. you stayed for the draining, for the first day the gates were chained. now you’ve seen my corners demagnified, unsoftened by bared bodies, seen my tiles cracked, collapsing in, seen them holding only space-21

what have you left to move through? did you stay to make the pool toys feel the hurt of hitting bottom? to hear them clatter on the concrete? was it the sound you wanted? does my barren space seem to grow? does it feel uncomfortable when the season brings nothing to fill it?

(Un)Queering Cloud Atlas By Samantha DeStefano The 2012 film Cloud Atlas, based on David Mitchell’s 2004 novel, consists of six interwoven tales about a soul that is reincarnated in different times and places, and faces different forms of oppression in each lifetime. In one of the narratives, Robert Frobisher, an aspiring composer in 1930s Europe, writes letters to his lover, Rufus Sixsmith, detailing his experiences as an assistant to the aging composer Vyvyan Ayrs. While the novel portrays Frobisher as a promiscuous bisexual, the film implies that he is romantically committed to Sixsmith, and therefore depicts homonormative LGBT identities rather than queerness. The film version of Cloud Atlas provides a normalizing representation of gay people by erasing the sexual possibilities that Mitchell explores. It has been argued that the film increases the visibility of LGBT people in mass media and provides a positive representation of a loving gay relationship. José Esteban Muñoz notes that in the first two seasons of The Real World (1992-1993), the token queer characters and their romantic lives “were contained and rendered narratively subordinate to the show’s straight characters,” making it difficult for the show to produce a queer counterpublic (151). Twenty years later, Frobisher is a protagonist in Cloud Atlas, and the film makes the gay subtext of the novel explicit in a way that Muñoz might see as a victory for gay visibility in mainstream media. Frobisher’s first words in the film are a voice-over in which he reads a letter to “my dear Sixsmith” explaining his decision to commit suicide and adds, “we both know in our hearts who is the sole love of my short, bright life.” The latter line appears at the end of Frobisher’s section of the novel, which contains only a few vague hints that Frobisher and Sixsmith are more than friends, but the film immediately frames their relationship as romantic, and another early scene confirms their sexual involvement by showing them naked in bed together. When an older Sixsmith meets the protagonist of another storyline, he wistfully says that her birthmark reminds him of “someone [he] cared very much about,” but in the novel he says “I’ve been married to science all my life,” when she asks if he has children (Mitchell 96). By claiming that his profession is a substitute for intimacy and family, he keeps his sexual orientation in the closet and provides a more socially acceptable justification for his non-normative singlehood. The film’s portrayal of an unambiguously gay couple produced a counterpublic in certain viewers that were “socially marked by their participation in this kind of discourse” (Warner 424). While mainstream reviews focused on the film’s unconventional structure and participated in its discourse around time and the conflict between good and evil, the film provided an opportunity for LGBT consumers to discuss and evaluate 23

representations of gay men. Out subsequently published an article on “Why You Should Watch Cloud Atlas,” and The Village Voice exclaimed, “Cloud Atlas is Gay Positive!” These reviewers claimed that Cloud Atlas provides positive LGBT visibility for a public that consumes popular films. That being said, the film presents gay love as generally monogamous and composed of both tenderness and sexual passion, making it analogous to the narratives’ other heterosexual relationships. In the novel, Frobisher enjoys a variety of non-normative sexual encounters, such as a lengthy affair with Ayrs’ wife Jocasta, an unrequited infatuation with Arys’ daughter Eva, casual sex with a steward on a ship, and sex with an older man for money. Even though his entanglements with Jocasta and Eva form a significant part of the novel’s plot, Eva is absent from the film, which briefly mentions Jocasta as a distraction that does not threaten Frobisher’s love for Sixsmith. A symbol of sexual involvement in both texts is the waistcoat that Frobisher wears. In the novel, it is an old garment of Ayrs’ that Jocasta gives Frobisher to seduce him, but in the film, Frobisher takes it from Sixsmith and says, “I needed something of yours to keep me company.” The waistcoat changes from an object that facilitates a triangular sexual and economic transaction between Frobisher, his employer, and his employer’s wife, to a sentimental reminder of monogamy and emotional intimacy. It is an example of how the film erases queer sexual practices and desires “for the explicit purpose of making homosexuals less scary, and more acceptable—just like everyone else” (Bronski, Pellegrini, and Amico 143). The film also introduces homophobia into the narrative in order to define Frobisher by his sexuality. Disowned by his wealthy family after gambling away his inheritance, Frobisher drops out of Cambridge and later sells Ayrs’ antique books on the black market to supplement his income. When Frobisher accuses Ayrs of plagiarizing his compositions, Ayrs threatens to ruin Frobisher’s reputation by telling eminent musicians that he raped Jocasta and is “disinherited, gambling, bankrupt” (Mitchell 455-6). The film glosses over Frobisher’s backstory and unconventional attitude toward money and prestige in order to give Sixsmith more screen time, and Ayrs uses the exposure of a more immediately recognizable kind of queerness as a threat, stating, “I’ll tell everyone that you’re a prostitute who consorts with perverts and sodomites.” Frobisher denies these accusations and later shoots Ayrs in rage, suggesting that he views promiscuity and deviant sex acts as antithetical to his own homonormative orientation. The motivation for Frobisher’s suicide changes accordingly—in the novel, he kills himself because he has no reason to live after composing his masterpiece, but in the film, he is driven to despair only by Ayrs’ threat of blackmail. Unlike the novel, in which economic hardships are more shameful than queer sexuality and erratic, risk-taking behaviors are possible in all areas of life, the film’s single-minded efforts to deny Frobisher’s sexuality as deviant support the idea that “sexual identity is one of the most important things to know about a person” (Bronski, Pellegrini, and Amico 143). Presenting Frobisher as a victim of 24

others’ intolerance, rather than as a flawed character who contributes to downfall, makes the film a more sympathetic and arguably more positive representation of LGBT figures at the same time that it sidesteps “the messiness of reality” (145). While Cloud Atlas purports to expose the interconnectedness of all things across time and space, it suggests that the only way for people to connect during their own lifetimes is to engage in loving monogamous relationships. The film’s nonlinear structure and quick jumps between stories might be considered an example of queer time, but it promotes normative ideologies of sexuality in more narratives than Frobisher’s. In the novel, the cynical, elderly Timothy Cavendish is content to write his memoirs in solitude, and Zachry and Meronym go their separate ways after helping each other survive a tribal war. The film, on the other hand, reunites Cavendish with his college girlfriend and reveals Zachry and Meronym as the grandparents of the children listening to Zachry’s story. It is ironic, yet perhaps not surprising, that a film whose characters resist authority in their personal lives as well as political engagements, ends with a teleological focus on compulsory heterosexuality and procreation. However, these conventional endings still contain subversive elements, such as Zachry and Meronym’s interracial relationship, that allow their heterosexual protagonists to triumph over oppressions based on race, class, gender, and age, suggesting that homophobia is the only system of oppression that cannot be overcome. Although reviewers in several mainstream and LGBT publications argued that Frobisher’s suicide creates pathos that builds sympathy in straight viewers, giving them a glimpse of the injustice that queer people faced before Stonewall and implicitly contrasting it with the progress achieved by the gay rights movement, Frobisher’s fate ultimately reproduces pre-Stonewall representations of homosexuals as disturbed and pitiful. While the heterosexual protagonists of the film’s other narratives find love and defy their oppressors—even Sonmi-451, the only other protagonist who dies, becomes a political martyr in her own narrative and is worshipped as a goddess in another—Frobisher is presented as a one-dimensional victim of homophobia who is remembered only by an aging, lonely Sixsmith, reinforcing the stereotype that gay love ends in tragedy. Frobisher’s suicide reminds audiences of queer communities’ traumatic past and present challenges, which include allegedly positive representations of LGBT people that nevertheless exclude individuals whose queer sexual practices and desires prevent them from assimilating into mainstream culture.

Works Cited

Bronski, Michael, Ann Pellegrini, and Michael Amico. “You Can Tell Just By Looking” and 20 Other Myths about LGBT Life and People. Boston: Beacon Press, 2013. Muñoz, José Esteban. Disidentifications: Queers of Color and the Performance of Politics. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press, 1999. Warner, Michael. “Publics and Counterpublics (abbreviated version).” Quarterly Journal of Speech 88.4 (2002):413-425.

Solidarity By Robyn Kweon Photoshop C26

artist statement I wanted to represent a queer interracial relationship, and the overall purpose of the piece is an attempt to illustrate and normalize the presence of queer interracial relationships. The figure on the right is wearing a traditional hanbok, which is a representational example of traditional Korean wear. The figure on the left is wearing a simple, modern dress inspired by the sari.

Where It All Began By Zoe Stoller There is much I could say about chairs, doors and openings, one rib touching strap. Difficult brain with funnels, red creeping through. It always finds a way. This is something because with cover I was less enthused. I am sitting for a while and body designs me. Every time the shower ran I had the same color, watermelon on all sides. People write for disembodied, but Starbucks bathroom stayed shut. Dirt stayed clean, only existing in consideration. It started in front of the tree counting down, and I don’t know my skin when we hit one. I remember so vividly the next day because it was deeper than water streaming. I would answer but another body next to mine. It started in blue sea grey, high walls, still the old phone and one flavor per week. It kept as feet flew above snow. In the ocean I was burnt by thighs, saw a number and took it. Trips to middle of land, mouth open on a rock. This is why I counted ephemeral. Bright pale blue. Would this mind exist as wolf child, or else will paper won’t stay blank. This is not as clear as the last but neither am I. Say curious and the knob, but either way inside became for them. It’s difficult. Watermelon bright and too stretched to stay, before I met that one, before I learned this. Rotation and was good. I feel the blue draped on arms. The red on stomach, waist. The hair down back. The ladder and I don’t know what’s in the box. The entirety of underneath is because top dictated on the page, the I reduced to singular. It’s difficult because layers because fork cannot hold weight. I saw the first again and again mouth open above substance. It would all come off either way. There was a fourth and then a fifth then the second because papers broke and glitter spilled on floor. The top never mattered and in pictures I feel the red blue stirring. All of it is a way home, every moment underneath. To the next one and by that time I’d lost count, forgot the tour of grass.

And again there is language in a word cloud, consciousness of phase. Everything already there and people lighting up. Behind the shed in a thunderstorm, tights down, poetic. In the building, the basketball, eyes meeting skin. Are you sure because weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve run out of time and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d seen them all and finished, canceled the last day of car. The next one because inside is too hot. Biomimicry is convincing of necessity. I know no truth but hours open late. Swish under letter, lace under hips. It is difficult when I was orange blue. Red and white, purple then before that pale protruding green. Each way my eyes know how to see. Right now I am inside my mind and ears absorb my skin. Thoughts shedding from shoulders. Numbers existing in blank. Body bequeathing itself. Trees wading in clothes. Fingers learning to breathe.

Baby Girlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s First Birthday (Doljanchi) By Via Lim mixed media installation, 2016

artist statement When we are born, we are given a color based on our gender. For decades, pink has indicated femininity and blue has indicated masculinity. We are often oblivious to the fact that gender-based colors are a social construct, a product of shrewd marketing tactics of toy companies. In the midst of pink is a baby, myself, free of stereotypes and fabricated femininity. Through the recreation of my first birthday, I wish to convey the message that we as girls are not born pink, but made pink. 30

The Deconstruction of Hegemonic Masculinity in Brokeback Mountain By Samantha Fox

When one thinks of Western films, John Wayne inevitably pops into mind. Strong and resilient, Wayne’s characters were men of the land who could seemingly do anything. Stephen Colbert even jokingly called John Wayne “the manliest man to have ever manned.” Redundancy aside, this epithet touches upon the Western frontier’s unique place in American political thought and culture. In film and literature, cowboys are considered paragons of masculinity; the West as a land of adventure and opportunity where only the truly tough can survive. This perception is closely tied to societal understanding of hegemonic masculinity. Indeed, the Western genre continues to thrive likely because it indulges in this fantasy of ‘perfect manhood’ and adventure. As arguably both a queer and Western film, Brokeback Mountain (2005) puts a spin on the tropes that permeate the cultural understanding of the Western genre, such as manhood’s reticence, association with nature, and implicit heterosexuality. By placing these tropes in dialogue with the theory of hegemonic masculinity, Brokeback Mountain posits that the American cultural understanding of masculine heteronormativity as hegemonic is false, as it is a normative standard for social performance rather than an attainable ideal. In modern social formations, certain constructions of masculinity are hegemonic while others are subordinated or marginalized (Connell 736). That is, hegemonic masculinity “is more than an ‘ideal,’ it is assumptive, widely held, and has the quality of appearing to be natural” (Nagel 247). As do those in many cultures, Americans have traditionally held the ideal of masculinity as closely tied to power, bravery, and efficacy. A ‘real man’ is he who provides for his family, easily performs physical tasks, and never backs away from a threat. He who cannot do these things is considered fundamentally weak, or less than a man (Nagel 245). Furthermore, these “definitions [of masculinity] include a separation from and repudiation of femininity: being a man is not being a woman, and no man would ever want to be a woman” (Nagel 246). One could even argue that the construction of white American masculinity is primarily defined by its relative social power over women and other races, a domination that is facilitated by an allegiance to heteronormativity (Nagel 249). Of course, there is both a social and physical danger to refusing this traditional gender role, particularly in the context of sexuality (Connell 736). Indeed, “to many people, homosexuality is a negative of masculinity and homosexual men must be effeminate” (Connell 736). Under this ‘toxic masculinity,’ masculinity 31

and power are inherently dependent on heterosexuality. Overall, American hegemonic masculinity is dependent on a rejection of femininity, assertion of one’s masculine power, and the social performance of heterosexuality; basically, on a strict adherence to the traditional gender binary through the display of dominance over women and other races. In American culture, this desire for dominance is also tied to the civilization of the Western frontiers. Indeed, American imperialistic desires and policies are rhetorically tied to and may even be propelled by domination over the land as well as native peoples, in a demonstration of nationalist/masculine power (Nagel 249). As such, the West and those who have settled it have been idolized within American culture through “the allure of adventure, the promise of masculine camaraderie, the opportunity to test and prove oneself, and the chance to participate in a historic, larger than life event” (Nagel 259). Essentially, the West is the pinnacle of opportunity to bring honor to one’s country and to prove both national and individual masculinity and dominance. Due to the historic and political conflation of masculinity and nationalism, those characters who brave the perils of the ‘Open Frontier’ in Western films are those who are stereotypically masculine in every respect. Western films usually have a somewhat formulaic plot: a white, male loner with a propensity for violence who defeats some opponent (be it nature, a Native American tribe, or a mustachioed villain) and/or rescues a beautiful woman against the stark background of the beautiful American frontier (Timko 3). These men are strong, brave, and traditionally handsome (though, of course, completely unconcerned with their appearance). In general, this character is unflappable, a man of action who engages in physically taxing, blue-collar work (Timko 3). Indeed, many of these films even disparage white collar jobs as emasculating, as they prevent men from taking physical risks (Timko 3). Although women are rarely the main focus of these films, they do occasionally appear in Westerns in subordinate roles (Timko 4). Generally speaking, the women in these films usually need to be rescued or else taken care of by the ‘stronger,’ more dominant cowboys. As such, these female characters serve to “assist in portraying the dominance of masculinity” (Timko 4). At the same time, women’s roles in Westerns generally serves to remind the audience of the men’s heterosexuality. As Timko points out, the male characters in Westerns often regard women in the context of the nuclear family (a heterosexual structure that favors the dominance of men as fathers and the submission of women as mothers) or as sexual temptations (4). As such, the masculinities of these men are hardly ever questioned, but rather supported by their actions, their bravery against the wildness of the Frontier, and their interactions with women. In many respects, a stereotypical Western film and its rejection of the feminine is the antithesis of a stereotypical gay film and its embrace of both homosexuality and non-traditional masculinity.

Brokeback Mountain certainly deviates from other Western films through its 32

presentation of masculinity as a precarious ideal, despite a cultural interpretation of hegemonic masculinity as ‘natural’ (Nagel 247). In particular, the film shows the duality of certain stereotypically masculine acts as simultaneously emasculating and empowering, especially within the complex power dynamics of the nuclear family. This duality is particularly painful for Ennis. Ennis is a blue-collar worker, a trait that has typically been lauded in the Western genre (Timko 4), and is implicitly touted as masculine in Brokeback Mountain, as no women ever appear on Ennis’ job sites. However, Ennis is unable to provide financially for his family and is ashamed of this inadequacy. In one scene, his wife, Alma, asks Ennis to put a condom on during sex so that she doesn’t have to worry about getting pregnant. Ennis is insulted and haughtily asks her why she doesn’t want to have any more of his children, to which she responds that “[she’d] have ‘em if [he’d] support ‘em” (Lee, Brokeback Mountain). Ennis is incredibly insulted by her assertion that he cannot provide for their family, even though she has a point: their family is obviously destitute. Of course, Alma already knows at this point that her husband is having an affair with Jack, so her refusal to have unprotected sex may also be influenced by her disgust with her husband’s sexuality and cheating rather than Ennis’ inability to provide financially. In either case, at this moment, Ennis is hearing his identity as a blue-collar worker as an emasculating trait while the two of them are having sex, and his reaction shows his ongoing frustration at his inability to do anything about it. Indeed, their marriage ends under such financial stress; to add insult to injury, Alma’s second husband is a much richer man. Although blue-collar work is generally celebrated in Western films as more masculine work, it is ultimately emasculating in Brokeback Mountain as it is the cause of the breakdown of the standard structure of the nuclear family and heterosexual, patriarchal dominance. Therefore, Brokeback presents hegemonic masculinity and its demands on men as potentially damaging, impossible ideals. Like Ennis, Jack is similarly emasculated by his financial situation. After marrying Lureen, Jack quits his job as a rancher and stops participating in rodeos to work for his father-in-law’s tractor supplies company. Although it’s clear that this job is well-paying, Jack’s choice of occupation similarly casts doubt over his masculinity, especially within the context of his own nuclear family. Throughout the course of their relationship, Jack and his wife’s father are at odds with each other. It’s implicit that most of the father-in-law’s dislike for Jack stems from classism; he calls Jack ‘rodeo’ as a disparaging reminder of Jack’s humble upbringing, despite his own daughter’s participation in those same rodeos. He also seems to believe that Jack is less of a man because Lureen is the primary earner. However, had Jack insisted that his wife not work and that he be the sole financial provider for the family (as Ennis does with Alma), Jack most likely would have worked as a rancher and their family would have been poor. In this case, it’s still unlikely that Jack’s father-in-law would have respected Jack. Outside of any homosexual acts but within the context of their own, heterosexual, nuclear families, both men are emasculated. It then follows that hegemonic masculinity cannot be inherently dependent on an adherence to het33

eronormativity, because such an allegiance leaves room for failure, regardless of financial status. As such, the movie asserts that hegemonic masculinity is normative, but unattainable. The film’s use of common Western tropes—in particular, the genre’s celebration of blue-collar work and providing for one’s family as masculine—makes this commentary salient. In addition to the financial emasculation of the main characters, Brokeback Mountain uses the Western trope of reserved but powerful men to reinforce the masculinity of the characters as well as establish Jack and Ennis’ desire for each other. Despite engaging in both a homosexual and homo-romantic relationship, the men’s reticence with regards to their relationship puts them in conversation with heteronormativity. In many Western films, cowboys’ masculinity and power is emphasized by their agency (such as, their ability to work in ranches, provide for their families, and get what they want), not the words that they speak (Timko 4). Indeed, in these movies, femininity is often portrayed as chatty and therefore silly or ineffective, which re-emphasizes the Western genre’s already-salient gender roles (Timko 4). Jack and Ennis’ overall reticence helps to illuminate their internal conflict over adherence to hegemonic heteronormativity and homosexual repression. Mirroring other cowboys in Western films, Ennis and Jack hardly say anything in the first few scenes that they share with each other. Indeed, one of the first things that Ennis tells Jack is that he’s planning to marry Alma when the summer is over, therefore immediately establishing himself as a socially heterosexual man. However, while on Brokeback Mountain, that same reticence creates sexual tension between the two men. For example, in one scene, Ennis is changing clothes while Jack smokes by the fire. In this scene, the camera keeps Jack in focus while a naked Ennis fumbles with his jeans behind him. Both men are silent; the only sounds are diegetic. The camera work in this scene enhances an understanding of this silence as the result of both a repressed desire and as a generally accepted social practice. The camera’s close up on Jack suggests that the audience is meant to identify with Jack. It simultaneously indicates that the audience is meant to look away from Ennis’ blurry body in the background, much as Jack himself is meant to keep his eyes averted. Indeed, the temptation to look at Ennis is quite strong; Ennis’s body takes up nearly a third of the frame and is a contrast to Jack’s own dark clothing and the dark green of the foliage. At this moment, their silence—which echoes the trope of reticent cowboys— creates a tension that they are either unwilling or unable to acknowledge. As previously discussed, hegemonic masculinity is generally tied to heterosexuality and, particularly in Western films, associated with nature. As it uses the trope of ‘silent but powerful’ men to draw attention to Ennis and Jack’s desire for each other, Brokeback Mountain also plays with the association of nature and manhood. Unlike other Westerns, Brokeback Mountain doesn’t depict nature simply as a way for “the men to find an environment away from women with lots of space to roam in order to feel like men again” (Timko 4), but rather, as a setting in which two men 34

reject heteronormativity—and therefore hegemonic masculinity—through engaging in a homosexual relationship (Connell 736). Though they initially travel to Brokeback to herd cattle and engage in blue-collar, masculine work, the two men’s relationship starts and continues there for decades, therefore inverting the Western trope of nature as a place for release into hegemonic masculinity. It is only when Aguirre, a consistent figure of masculine authority and societal judgment in the film, sees the two men wrestling and kissing that the construction of Brokeback Mountain as a utopia is thrown into doubt. When Aguirre sees the two men wrestling, he sees them from afar, and therefore they are unaware of his presence and judgment. Even though Aguirre isn’t watching the two men for more than a few minutes, his brief presence on Brokeback Mountain forces the audience to consider how society’s own unacknowledged presence on the mountain may impact the characters, even if this impact is subconscious. Is their desire for each other the result of purely natural impulses, or is it made more erotic under oppressive societal structures? The film doesn’t really try to answer such a politically loaded question, but instead simply poses Brokeback Mountain as a thought experiment, as an idealistic place where labels and societal judgment don’t necessarily matter until this utopia is interrupted by societal judgment. In such a place, hegemonic masculinity can be recognized for what it is: a normative, oppressive, social structure. However, hegemonic masculinity’s standards can never truly be escaped, even on Brokeback Mountain. Of course, such a utopia is imperfect, even within the context of the movie—after all, Aguirre is able to invade this space and Ennis is unable to fully reconcile his own internalized homophobia with his relationship with Jack. In addition, hegemonic masculinity’s pervasive presence influences the scene in which Jack is ignoring Ennis’ naked body. Unlike Jack, the audience is not punished for sneaking a glance at Ennis; we are allowed to look without anyone else knowing that we did. This unfairness and the audience’s invasive voyeurism emphasizes both Jack’s longing to look at Ennis and the reality that such a look would have social repercussions, even in such an isolated an area as Brokeback Mountain. Even though Jack later says to Ennis that “it’s nobody’s business but [theirs],” there is no denying that their relationship does exist in a world with homophobia and with the harmful, normative influence of hegemonic masculinity.

Brokeback Mountain also irreverently blurs the difference between heterosexual and homosexual encounters, despite the cultural assertion that the two are fundamentally different (Miller 54). In their first sexual encounter, Ennis penetrates Jack from behind. Although Jack is the bottom in this scenario, he is far more sexually aggressive than Ennis, a reversal of the common perception of the penetrative partner as being more sexually forward or dominant (Nguyen 6-7). In encounters with other people, the two recreate this position. For example, while having sex with Alma, Ennis flips her on her stomach while he is on top; conversely, Lureen straddles Jack while he is beneath her. By suggesting that the men occupy the same sexual roles during both hetero and homosexual encounters, the film de-idolizes 35

the heterosexual encounters as fundamentally masculine. By conflating these sexual encounters, the film depicts them as arbitrary and culturally founded, rather than as hegemonic. Though Brokeback Mountain was almost universally praised for its artistry and for its heart-breaking story, some prominent queer theorists criticized the film as being overly sanitized for straight audiences (Miller 50). For a film driven by the characters’ lust for each other, there is very little sex in the film. The gay sex that does occur has been lambasted as highly unrealistic (Miller 50), perhaps offering straight audiences a comfortable degree of separation between their perception of these empathetic characters and their discomfort with stigmatized anal sex (Nguyen 8). D.A. Miller argues that the film ultimately illuminates “what is bogus in the liberal attempt to ‘relate’ to the Homosexual” (54) by making “the Homosexual a Martian” (53) and “[denying] a relationship to him that already exists” (54). With this denial, Miller says that the film therefore unjustly portrays Jack and Ennis—who he argues are in the closet—simply to be straight men who fell in love and have sex. Furthermore, perhaps it is the whiteness of the characters that allows a reading of their identities as more complex than ‘closeted,’ as opposed to being on the ‘Down Low’ (Ward 146). That is, some critics thought that the film failed to engage with the nuances of identity politics and instead presented an internalized, benevolent homophobia that ultimately alienated the gay characters from their audience. There is certainly value to the criticism that Brokeback Mountain may have shied away from “gayness” (Miller 50) by presenting Ennis and Jack as men who enjoy homosexual sex but don’t want a queer identity. After all, Ennis’ denial of queerness does seem partially fueled by self-hatred (see his violent, distressed reaction when Alma confronts him about his affair with Jack). Though such a portrayal is perhaps disappointing to queer groups who have historically seen little positive representation in the media, these very straight-presenting characters do illuminate the sometimes-forgotten cultural link between the social understanding of sexuality and gendered micro practices. There is “a consensus within queer studies that queerness is defined not by a presence of homosexual sex, but a refusal of gender and sexual normativity” (Ward 130). Why, then, should audiences necessarily understand Ennis and Jack as closeted queer men, and not men who have a much more complicated relationship with their identities and sexuality? In one scene, Ennis tells Jack that he “ain’t a queer” (Lee, Brokeback Mountain). Rather, both Ennis and Jack would prefer to be seen as “normal, average white guys” (Ward 128) whose homosexuality does not threaten their “way of life” (Ward 130), and allows them to occupy the same roles as their predecessors in other Western films. Overall, this debate illuminates Brokeback’s presentation of a more nuanced, complicated representation of sexuality as social performance rather than as a series of specific sex acts. In response to some of the criticisms of the film, the author of the short story Brokeback Mountain said, “how different readers take the story is a reflection of their own personal values, attitudes, and hang-ups.” This response to criticisms 36

is certainly a bit reductive but does has a valid point. After all, the film carefully avoids using queer vocabulary to describe the characters’ relationship; even Aguirre, an outwardly homophobic character, uses the euphemism “stemming the rose” when speaking of Jack and Ennis’ sexual relationship. As such, it becomes the onus of the audience to create labels and project their own interpretation of sexual and gender roles unto the characters. Rather than hide their desire for each other behind a mask of heteronormativity, Brokeback Mountain allows its characters to come into discussion with this mask by allowing their desire to come into conflict with the societal standard of hegemonic masculinity and their desire for each other. One of the major themes of the movie is Jack and Ennis’ struggle to reconcile their desire for each other with their desire to be seen as utterly masculine. Due to the conflict between “conventional masculinity [as] an aspect of the object of desire [and a subversive] object-choice, a contradictory masculinity is produced” (Connell 735). That is, because Jack and Ennis desire to fulfill masculine social roles yet also desire homosexual contact, they simultaneously deny and accept the demands of hegemonic masculinity and are therefore placed in an entirely different social role. Indeed, this ‘contrary masculinity’ creates conflict even outside of the events depicted by the film. At the time of its release, Brokeback Mountain received a great deal of attention as “the gay cowboy movie”—a nickname that persists more than 10 years after its release (Mackie). The salience of this nickname is interesting in itself, because it speaks to the film’s unique place in Western cinema as a departure from implicit heteronormativity and the traditional presentation of hegemonic masculinity. Overall, Brokeback Mountain’s treatment of its characters’ sexualities is an artistic case study in sexual identification as more of a social performance. Indeed, this interpretation of the characters is largely tied to an understanding of how masculinity and heterosexuality are presented as hegemonic in many Western films, an understanding that is ultimately subverted through the film’s use of several prominent tropes.

Works Cited Brokeback Mountain. Dir. Ang Lee. Perf. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger. Focus Features, 2005. Connell, R. W. “A Very Straight Gay: Masculinity, Homosexual Experience, and the Dynamics of Gender.” American Sociological Review 57.6 (1992): 735-51. Mackie, Drew. “15 Things You May Not Know About Brokeback Mountain, 10 Years Later.” People. com. People Magazine, 7 Dec. 2015. Miller, D. A. “On the Universality of “Brokeback Mountain.” Film Quarterly60.3 (2007): 50-60. Nagel, Joane. “Masculinity and Nationalism: Gender and Sexuality in the Making of Nations.” Ethnic and Racial Studies 21.2 (1998): 242-69. Taylor and Francis Online. Nguyen, Tan Hoang. “Introduction.” Introduction. A View from the Bottom. Durham: Duke UP, 2014. 1-28. Timko, John. “The Promotion of Masculinity in Western Films.” Saginaw Valley State University. Saginaw Valley State University, 2004. Ward, Jane. “Averages Dudes, Casual Encounters.” Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men. New York: NYU, 2015. 119-53.

Pumpkins After Midnight By Doricka Menefee I flirted with that. The need to be someone’s everything. To nuzzle them when it’s cold, back then when they can’t stand. To love them unconditionally, like the warmth from the sun It’s just natural. I could fit myself in this commitment. I could see myself a casualty of this fool’s paradise and strife. But, What happens when the glass slipper shatters and the pieces cut too deep? What happens when the kiss never comes? Or the poison is effective? I guess the gamble is too great for the reward. We shouldn’t play make believe with something so fragile.

Almost By Torinn Fennelly glowing rum and white of the sheet seem to be telling me memory— summer’s heat and hot struggle bruised chest and the walls are wet you touch my ankle don’t thinkabout where they are thinkabout where they would be i hope you thinkabout me crushed petals green for my eyes sharp bite muffled laughter cushy sighs softly i turn to you and lean forward on all fours you cool my senses undo all the lace a fruitless chase a nice piece of metal i always wanted to be more than a vessel vital and dreamy blushing pull me closer your head in my lap i rose went left— please bring it back— red lips beating full breasts in the cup of your hand i always wanted to be the better man wildly you lay on me warm gold high hot struggle hand on the nape of your neck not a demand i just wanted to doublecheck and press into me like daisies into book pouting willing you to look and maybe not but maybe you would rolling warmly smoothly eyesclosed maidenhood— you don’t know but thinking i will go down without a fight is like trying to separate moon from night.

Gumballs By Torinn Fennelly saturdays were red machines, now, i’m someone’s mountain flower. little girl, looking for a movie i hadn’t seen, saturdays were red machines. i’m still dazzled by the silver screen, though, some boy’s eating all my hours. saturdays were red machines, now, i’m someone’s mountain flower.

Female Role Models By Zachary Walters

artist statement All the women that were role models in my life are represented by the various tattoos on the bust. Each is representative of the challenge they overcame or are still overcoming. The bust of a woman’s breasts is because the foundation of this project was my mom, who overcame an unbelievable amount of challenges (breast cancer being one that especially stands out to me). I wanted to do something as a tribute to the incredible women that have made me who I am today and continue to shape me. I think that feminist issues shouldn’t just be women’s issues, they should be everyone’s issues. Obviously men shouldn’t be the ones deciding how to address these problems for women, but we do need to be part of enacting the change women want to see. I hope this piece might help more men think critically about their role in addressing feminist issues. 41

Curious Camouflage By Doricka Menefee I blend in invisible black and white against a colorful background. The opposite of how it should be. How I should be. I could stand out. I could scream look at me just once donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ignore my cries. What if I were in a car, taken what if my hands are up and they still shoot? What if I told him no and he still claims me his? Will you ignore my cries then? Will I still blend in then just a bit more broken?

boys By Torinn Fennelly tall or taller than me touch of gray and stubble under chin shaving cream and musky scent from bottle to impress and oh the way you dress : collar shirts and do what i want and keys jingle like whistling my name and tomorrow now and dark blue i never knew how many things i liked about you

Post-Femmage By Alyson Del Pino mixed medium

artist statement Through this work I question art institutions directly about their responsibility to feminized art. These postcards follow in the “waste-not, want-not” tradition of women’s collage, one historically denied the status of fine art. Accordingly, the compositions are formed of obscured pieces of confessional writing and unaltered scraps from other paper and fabric works. In late September of 2016, I sent these 10 postcards to two major art institutions in each of five major cities: Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Philadelphia, and Detroit. These presented varying compositions but followed the same format: they stated the definition of femmage as formed by Miriam Schapiro and Melissa Meyer and presented a question of accountability to the art institution: Return address, date sent Femmage: a word invented by us to include all of the above activities as they were practiced by women using traditional women’s techniques to achieve their art— sewing, piecing, hooking, cutting, appliqueing, cooking and the like—activities also engaged in by men but assigned in history to women. Miriam Schapiro & Melissa Meyer, 1977-78 Dear [Institution], What is your role as an institution in the validation and documentation of marginalized female culture? Hope to hear from you, Alyson The work is ongoing, as I have yet to hear from nine of the ten institutions. With the exception of the Perez Art Museum in Miami, whose response is also attached, the museums have remained silent.

Blank Walls By Aelita Parker A black sofa and a dresser in your living room a bookshelf no pictures your apartment was always so empty I found one Once, a metal frame and a couple that looked like you hiding behind a stack of war novels you maybe read Your mother had curly hair almost red teeth visible smiling she held your fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arm He was white like mine had been You were like me but you never said you never told me that Like me, you existed in a middle place belonging nowhere I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know We used to sit on your floor and your head in my hands my fingers against your temples skin brown silk you would close your eyes and I would watch you breathing 56

Sometimes you played the guitar: Flamenco and you smiled one tooth crooked looking at me watching. You held my hand nights before we fell asleep and in the mornings you made tea bought especially for me But the walls were empty save for a few masks. Gifts from your father when he left you briefly for trips abroad I tried to look for you In cabinets drawers for stories you never spoke aloud I tried even to fill that space empty with myself. To spread out expansive so it would feel less lonely there But then one day I left and I wonder Still, what if I waited

Melt By Sophie Lee digital media

Dream Girl By Emily Schwager in a room of sweat and skin, nightclub drenched, in lust future lovers share cigarette embers, a gin & tonic, a kiss on the cheek. This is where the heartache blooms. Forget the lace and the panties, run your tongue over your teeth, powder your nose in the bathroom, baby, this is all for me.

Hands By Sophie Lee

And Nobody Came — Women Witnessing of Lost in the Storm By Maurice Henderson

were you there I was did u see them I’ve been there I’ve been there I’ve been there I don’t know what were going to do And some jumped in whoosh! go through go through how do you want me to say it she was Murdered/Murder/murder I saw an old lady who looked just like my great grandmother born in 1898 could have been yours most likely mine she was in the water-walking I don’t know if she had a cane, or a walker she said / I heard somebody please save me her chin her mouth her eyes her head suddenly engulfed-in the water and nobody came because nobody knew how come they did not know / yes they did how do you want me to say it whoosh! go thru go thru murder! murder! murder!

I will fight no more for this country forever and some were white many were Latino migrant workers most were African Americans I saw a woman in a wheelchair who could look just like you could have been you / but wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t not this time / now and forever this woman in the wheelchair could not speak but I think I heard her say somebody Save Me and nobody came because nobody knew I saw a mother a teenage mother standing on a rotten wooden porch looking into the water screaming / shouting / shout now somebody could you please save my baby my baby my baby cry beloved / cry out souls look back and wonder how to make it over / one morning I looked up I saw this baby somebodies child shout / shout now in the water drowning / dripping tear after tear after / after tear how sweet the sound that saved a wretched like me this baby that turned from colored peoples time blue black magical skin tone stays on my mind a baby drowning with hindsight of a mother shout / scream / pout my baby my baby my baby 62

in the water so I stepped out on faith without works is dead not by sight by faith evidence of things unseen Amen corner, invisible lives in the water like fire shut up in my bones I began to walk on the water for the children of no lesser God a heard through grapevine walk together children donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you get worried all Gods Children got wings beneath my feet I walked back out with baby in hand to tell them we are rising to know why a caged birds sing remembering always sincerely yours a sent for yesterday prophetical visions and informed destiny weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been waiting waiting for the world to change and the weight is over like the sins of their fathers and the greatness of our fathers falling squarely on shoulders were you there I was there did you see them whoosh! go through go through go through nobody came, because nobody knew how do I say it murder, murder, murder we will fight no more for this country forever

Receipt of Modern Times By Jonida Kupa WOMEN YOU NEED TO STEP UP OR BE STEPPED ON MEN KEEP MARCHING

The outline of her body More important Than rights to her body Rewarding male mediocrity Snubbing female success Rosalind You deserve better LET’S BLUR OUT THEIR FACES IN THE MUSIC VIDEOS LET’S GET THE GIRLS WITH THE BIGGEST ASSES DEGREE MEN ULTRA CLEAR BLACK + WHITE ANTIPERSPIRANT $3.49 DEGREE WOMEN ULTRA CLEAR BLACK + WHITE ANTIPERSPIRANT $3.89 NO, NOT UNTIL THE SECOND DATE IF I POUR YOU ANOTHER GLASS OF WINE WILL THAT COUNT AS A SECOND DATE? SEDUCING IN HER CALVINS MAKING MONEY IN HIS 64

CALVINS OUR PRESIDENT SPILLED WINE ON WOMEN TWICE AS AN ACT OF REVENGE

Sorry, I have bad aim My breasts Threw my balance off I’M YOUR FIRST? REALLY? IN FACT, I LIKE IT BETTER THAT WAY YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL BREAKING UP WITH A GIRL IS EASY BECAUSE I’M THE GUY I CAN JUST SAY SHE WAS CRAZY

Only men drink beer That’s why Only naked women Appear on beer ads THE DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION IS A MEDICAL NECESSITY CONTRACEPTION IS A LEGAL MANDATE TAMPONS ARE STILL TAXED I’LL COME OVER ONCE YOU START THE PILL AND I DON’T HAVE TO USE CONDOMS ANYMORE

UNLESS YOU MEANT AS PLATONIC FRIENDS LOL

An ounce of his pleasure More valuable Than her health I hate the word fuck boy It’s almost as if It gives men the Right of passage To behave like shit It’s not a cleaning commercial Unless A mother A grandmother A wife A clueless husband A daughter Is present Burgers and Beer and Fast cars and Football and Tits Nothing says I respect you, Quite like a men’s Fragrance commercial EXCUSE ME, PLEASE DON’T INTERRUPT WHILE I’M SPEAKING SHE IS THE VIOLIN LIGHT ON HER FEET 66

HE IS THE MUSICIAN PLAYING HER I DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T LIKE HER SHE TALKS TOO MUCH

Moon Rising By Sophie Lee collage with felt pen & marker on paper

artist statement A piece about the feeling of space. Measuring my body against the skies. 68

The Five Best Concretes to Fill in Your Crow’s Feet By Veronica Kowalski Botox will soon be a distant memory, because you should be pouring concrete in your crevices! Here’s a comprehensive guide to the best mixes for filling the gaping holes in your ancient, abandoned, decrepit face! Quick Setting Quickcrete’s great because you get instantaneous results in only 10 minutes! Who has time to wait for regular concrete to set properly? You won’t even have to fend off high schoolers trying to carve their names in your flawless, hard, grey skin with Quickcrete. Plus, it comes in a variety of natural, skin-inspired colors like grey, darker grey, and terracotta! Fiber Reinforced Concrete Throw some accidental sparkles in those sagging folds to really distract from your ever-decaying bod! Not only is it an even closer match to your actual skin, which is still speckled with glitter from New Years’ Eve in 1986, but because it’s used for sidewalks, it’s a profound metaphor for how older, wrinklier women get overlooked and literally stepped on by the hordes of men clamoring for women younger than their cars! Mortar Mortar’s usually used to repoint walls, so it’s perfect for women who feel like they’re talking to walls while talking to men! Show them who the real wall is! (Hint: it you!) Bonus points for the fact that it sounds eerily similar to Mordor (maybe because this is what Sauron uses to buff up his sad, wrinkly, sack-like face)! Hydraulic Water-Stop Concrete Perfect for the leaky ladies who cry every time they make weird eye contact/stub their toe/breathe! This porous mix will soak those salty tears right up!! (Though you may want to brace yourself for the new issues caused by the all-consuming slurping sounds that may ensue.)

Gravel-mix reinforced This baby’s perfect for really really gaping gaps more than 2 inches thick. This mix is for those wrinkles so deep they’re regularly mistaken for ass cracks! If you’re over the age of 12, I’m looking at you! Let’s face it: the boys called you a buttface in middle school because your crow’s feet were that horrendous! You need to either close the gap with this gravel-mix that matches your warbled, aging, gravelly voice or embrace the fact that you are, and have mostly always been, a butt.

“Friends” with Benefits By Anonymous His body is warm behind me, Slow breathing and soft hands Curving around my hips. I wait for my roommate to fall asleep Before I roll over to steal a kiss: A crime I was content with. But as I roll, he slides down his jeans, Gives me That look. I reach out a fingertip and feel his raw skin beneath my fresh sheets. He whispers And I say: “But she’s right there,” “She’ll hear us,” “I told her we wouldn’t,” “She’ll be mad,” “Anticipation is Hot.” That’s what he heard, but I said: No No No No No. He said: “It’s ok,” “We’ll be quiet,” “I think it’s hot,” “Just hand stuff,” “Maybe for You.” 71

A soft hand pulls at my own. I listen, Let him pull quietly. I try to enjoy His Pleasure with sleep-soaked eyes. And when it is my turn, His touch is not gentle and wise, But impatient, Expectant. I’m too sensitive, Apparently. So I roll over, wait for sleep and those Soft curving hands, and I think Nothing of any of it. Not until he presses against Me, wordlessly sliding between My thighs, Wet and wanting, After I turn down his offer for Slow Sloppy Sex. Soft hands squeezing: “Just take your panties off.” And it feels so good to be wanted, even without Want.

But as I stare at my sleeping friend, I know Something isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite Right. But I think, Next time will be better. Next time.

Street Harrassment By Elena Schiavone mixed medium

Steve Wynn By Regina Salmons Philadelphia, my second home the waves of the schuylkill bounce me on their knees this city is green this city is history this city is history in the making the founding fathers all fucked around here and nothing has changed for the elite sons of liberty still study economics and foreign policy at ben franklin’s feet but hey they take the time to piss on his statue too this is a city of working class too we’ve got construction workers who have built this city since the eighties when skyscrapers started blooming in the horizon at penn you can be a wynner here we all have trump cards to play this is an institution built on being a play boy franklin teaches us that foreign diplomacy means persuasion through penis women can whisper loudly in their husbands ears also it is important to remember that franklin owned slaves and now the university owns us if you want to play the game you have to help them set up the board must put in your time do the dirty work for a while my work study job expects me to work twenty hours a week for nothing the university pays me to work for itself so I can’t afford to come here nobody can afford this institution even the rich pay in sanity there is only so much you can do before the mind starts to unravel before things start to go haywire when was the last time you got bored like the way your body is on autopilot and then I am remembering a bad hemingway quote write drunk edit sober my mind falls in love with misogynist writers because deep down I want to know why men love themselves so much, I want to know self love the way men love men love men the way men love themselves I want to know why a man can make himself come quicker than the average woman I don’t want to hate men the way the classic writers the politicians the lawmakers hate women I just want to love myself as deeply as they hate women if that makes sense in any twisted logic I want to paint portraits of myself and think they are the most stunning things in the world why do I not think I am beautiful despite all logic pointing towards it, my mind falls in love with writers like fitzgerald and hemingway and eliot and melville and auster because I never have to worry about them writing me into their stories I can fall in love with plots that don’t include me there is never a complex heroine there is never a female writer locked in the room grappling with the questions of the universe I can fall in love with a story a male writer writes because I am never dying in the tragic ending it is always the other the false woman the barbie doll that doesn’t exist it is always the 75

devil that is exaggerated the woman who is imagined in his mind I do not have to worry about seeing myself pop up in books it is easier to read a single gendered writing because I can choose when I want to feel I can step into the questioning male protagonists shoes or I can choose to judge him from afar there is no moral obligation to try to understand him I know who he is he is a thinly veiled excuse for the author to project his own flaws to the world justify them tell the truth through fiction I can read mistaken male identities blown up as human identities easily because plastic is easy to recycle the stories are all old I’ve heard them a million times call me a bitch call me a whore call me a tease I’ve heard them all before it’s nothing new if you’re going to be misogynist at least be radical confuse me into thinking I might have to think while reading your work and then hit me with the experimental female aimed misanthrope sucker punch hit me real good this is the type of shit hemingway wished he could have read see I’m getting into it the men I’m talking about are cocky bastards they loved themselves so they thought you would too see I can be cocky too if I play pretend long enough I’ll be cocky for real cocky I loved hemingway’s book “the sun also rises” in high school I felt Brett was real but she wasn’t she was hemingway’s best attempt at developing a female character but it didn’t even work because he wrote her as if she was a man there was no dialogue no trip into her mind she never had more than a sentence out loud she didn’t even get a beginning or an end she just appears from nowhere and fades into the sunset a brief interlude I just liked the scene where she is placed on a pedestal and made to watch all the men dance around her I guess I liked it because I want to dance too, they dance for her they offer themselves to her like a high priestess choosing which lambs to slaughter but she doesn’t feel like eating lamb she feels like dancing and they deny her this carnal pleasure she is above them physically they put her above them but she still can’t reach what she wants and the man she loves can’t satisfy her but this sounds like a man’s story there are two ways to read chauvinism either you can pretend you are the male protagonist live the life of a foreign male hero or you can sift through the pages no emotional buy in watching the movie play out from a window you can’t win a game you were never meant to play the white man waits for no one he keeps rolling the dice but I have fallen in love with bukowski too we are here to laugh at the odds and to live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us the odds aren’t good for me but I like to laugh I can laugh at myself I can laugh at the absurd tumble of jumbles of mumbles of words not sure how I’m going to do at living quite yet but thing is that these writers these classics the founders of our infrastructure slipped in little rules for themselves little escape hatches for the ones who were wild but the

cockiest of them all they needed extra routes but these are our ways in take the back doors meant for the scoundrels expose them all burn down the pages the best way to ruin the system is to know it my days reading the blue prints because the worst part is that they are amazing writers the misogynists are the best freaking fitzgerald was brilliant enough to plagiarize zelda then lock her away ruin her voice so he never had to answer for it the best husbands hid their genius in a vagina that they called hysterical safest place in the world is a vagina it can expand it is the lock box for the worlds secrets but at penn we’ve somehow come full circle they’ve revoked bill cosby’s honorary degree three years later I don’t know why it took three years but it did at Penn we’ve finally discovered that money can only cover rape for so long eventually the blood will soak the hundred dollar bills eventually the currency will drop eventually the blood will tear the bills in half seven and a half million dollars only gave him twelve years on a sign he didn’t even get a building they gave him a commons for seven and a half million dollars but with black paint, black the color of the righteous his name came tumbling down they took his name down after the vandalism no more wynners here he paid off a girl for sexual harassment she got the same amount the university got she got seven and a half million dollars for forcing her to have sex with him guess he values his education as much as he values sexual assault seven and a half million dollars to her and seven and a half to university of penn together fifteen million dollars this is the worst part he has almost three and a half billion dollars and the settlement and donation are just drops in the bucket to him the shame won’t even change his life he will be fine he will be fine he gives up the positions he is still rich he has no trauma no loss his body is fine no trauma just a few less board meetings to go to.

he still eats the caviar he still throws the dice—

As Girls We By Via Lim acrylic on canvas, 2015

artist statement As girls, we are given extreme Western beauty standards, often seen in mass media and consumer products. I decided to paint a popular toy, Barbie, to criticize the idealistic and fabricated beauty requirements that girls are told to meet from childhood. 79

Acknowledgements We would like to conclude this edition of The F-Word by thanking all those who supported us this year. Thank you to our advisors and friends at the Student Activities Council and PubCo. Thank you to Jessica Lowenthal and the Kelly Writers House, Litty Paxton and the Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Center, and Demie Kurz with the Alice Paul Center. Thank you to our dedicated editorial team and our general body, who worked so hard to make this spring issue a reality. We are also tremendously grateful to everyone who submitted to the publication this semester, and encourage others to do so in the future. Finally, thank you to the University of Pennsylvania community for reading this edition of The F-Word and thereby participating in this vital conversation.

Call for Submissions The F-Word is officially seeking submissions for our Fall 2018 issue. As Penn’s only feminist arts and literary magazine, we accept submissions from all members of the Penn community (undergraduates, graduates, faculty, staff, and alumni). Send us your poetry, fiction, nonfiction, academic papers, photography, drawings, paintings, anything—we’ve even had music! In other words, if there is a way to put it on a page, we’ll do it! Entries should be no longer than five pages and should explore topics related to feminism, race/ethnic identity, gender and sexuality, and social justice. Multiple submissions are encouraged. While we do accept submissions on a rolling basis, we ask that those who would like their work considered for the Fall issue submit to upennfword@gmail.com no later than November 4. We look forward to working with you!

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