FYI Family Magazine Aug/Sept 2016 by FYI SW Michigan

Aug /Sept 2016

Families of Many Colors Back to School! Get Involved at School Beat the Bedtime Blues Plus: Events, Recipes & More

Published by

Kalamazoo Public Schools

are reaching higher! st 5 years la e th r e v o te ra n o  Rising graduati nd high a l o o h sc le d id m , ry  Rising elementa chievement school student a dents taking u st f o r e b m u n e th  More than doubleent courses in the last 8 years Advance Placem e tuition for g e ll o c e e fr : e is m ro  The Kalamazoo P idency & attendance requirements apply) KPS graduates (res been or e v a h ts n e d u st S P K  More than 4,200of The Kalamazoo Promise are beneficiaries 00 students ,4 2 ly te a im x ro p p a  Growth of in the last 10 years

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from the Editor Happy Birthday to us! With this issue, FYI Family Magazine begins its third year and is just getting bigger and better. FYI has been a labor close to the hearts of its staff: All of us are parents, a couple of us are grandparents and we know that nothing is more important or more lasting than our families. Some faces have changed since FYI’s inception, but our mission hasn’t. We created FYI to be the area’s best resource for information for Southwest Michigan’s families and to provide that information in a judgment-free way. You have

responded so enthusiastically that we know we’re delivering on that promise. This issue is no different: We have back-to-school features on parent involvement in schools as well as great tips for getting back into the swing of the school year. In addition, we have a feature on how families are growing through transracial adoption. And while we are excited about FYI’s third year, there’s one sad note. Jef Otte, whom readers have come to know as our Family Man columnist, has decided to take a break from FYI. Something about three kids

and a full-time job. We are happy to say, however, we are not fatherless — Brian Lam will be taking over Family Man and sharing his insights with us on fatherhood and man-stuff in general. We look forward to the surprises and great things this year will bring!

Marie Lee Editor

Back-to-School Time In September, children prepare themselves with new backpacks and school supplies. Many businesses carry back-to-school specials on products and services for kids. What about the parents?

The Top 4 Reasons to Choose K-Prep 1. Inspires lifelong learning. Our K-Prep program utilizes industry-respected curriculum and proprietary learning tools to establish a solid educational foundation for the future. 2. Provides a developmentally-appropriate learning environment. Our K-Prep program features hands-on learning that’s stimulating and fun, so your child can grow academically, socially, and emotionally at their own pace. 3. Offers exciting enrichment programs. Our preschoolers exercise every muscle, through on-site fitness, Spanish, technology and music classes. 4. Your child will love our program. Our preschoolers discover the amazing world of science through hands-on, activity-based learning and experiments.

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If your business serves grown-up customers, think about holding a “They’ve Gone Back to School!” sale. September is a great time for adults to catch up on house chores, commitments to their personal health, and personal projects. Why not give parents a little incentive and help them get more out of their September? When the kids are away, finally the parents might have time to get things done! Marketing works best when it’s targeted towards a group that isn’t getting the attention it deserves and would truly appreciate the help you have to give. After the kids go back to school, what can you offer their parents? They would appreciate the attention, and give you their business in return!

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What’s more comforting than a chicken pot pie? Not much, and our recipe maven has figured out a way to make mini-pot pies that are not only fun to eat, but also fun to make. Ren is an Allegan mom, graduate of Grand Rapids Community College’s Secchia School of Culinary Arts and a former baker for Alpen Rose, Via Maria and deBoer Bakery.

ANDREW DOMINO

ren briggs

Who are these lovely people? See below.

A frequent contributor to our sister publication Encore, Andrew shares his story this month about transracial, or interracial, adoption. A freelance writer, Andrew lives Kalamazoo with his wife and 3-year-old son.

Aug / Sept 2016

Families of Many Colors Back to School! Get Involved at School Beat the Bedtime Blues

Published by

Plus: Events, Recipes & More

Publisher

encore publications, inc.

Editor

David Miles

Here at FYI we marvel in Melissa’s ability to come up with creative and beautiful craft projects using such things as a little glue, foil and a cereal box. We shouldn’t be surprised: Melissa has spent her professional career working in early childhood education, with a focus on arts, crafts and creativity. Check out her foil paintings on page 14. Melissa lives in Kalamazoo with her husband and 6-year-old daughter.

anne lape

In this issue, Brian, who has provided the giggles in our Last Laugh column since FYI started, takes on a new role as our Family Man writer. A Kalamazoo native, Brian juggles being a dad and a business owner with being a husband, brother and son, so, yeah, he gets the whole family thing.

Melissa Lam

brian lam

marie lee

Our Everyday Hacks writer, Anne is a teacher by day and knows a little something about getting kids back in the swing of school. Her tips for getting that bedtime routine back on track are on page 11. Anne lives in Kalamazoo and is the mother of a high schooler.

While David has spent years perfecting his cherry meringue pie recipe, he has also been mixing it up with a career in illustration. From deep within this subterranean artist’s lair he has created pictures for Zonderkidz, Highlights, Sleeping Bear Press and many others. This is the first time he has been a magazine contributor! Wahooo!

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Graphic Designer alexis stubelt

Contributors

ren briggs, andrew domino, brian lam, melissa lam, anne lape, marie lee, david miles, brian powers, emily townsend

Advertising Sales

tiffany andrus, celeste statler, krieg lee

Office Manager hope smith

Distribution

kama mitchell, mark thompson

FYI is published 6 times a year by Encore Publications, Inc. Copyright 2016. All rights reserved. Editorial, circulation and advertising correspondence should be sent to Encore Publications, 117 W. Cedar St. Suite A, Kalamazoo, MI, 49007. Phone: 269-383-4433. General email correspondence to publisher@encorekalamazoo.com FYI is distributed free of charge at locations throughout Southwest Michigan; home delivery subscription rate is $18 per year. Advertising rates and specifications at fyiswmichigan.com or by request. FYI does not assume responsibility for statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors; articles and advertisements do not necessarily reflect FYI’s opinions or those of the FYI staff. To learn more about us visit fyiswmichigan.com

About the cover: The Perso siblings — from top, Ella, 9; Samson, 5; Leah, 6; and Aiden, 2 — are a diverse family created through transracial adoption. Photo by Brian Powers

Aug/Sept 2016

In Every Issue 3

From the Editor

Our Contributors

Fun for Free

Family-friendly fun at no charge!

Playground Pick

A wooden castle is part of the play at Northside Park in Otsego

Make This!

Mini-pot pies are fun to make and eat

Everyday Hacks

Beat the back-to-school bedtime blues

13 Is This Normal?

FEATURE

How to handle a child’s “fat-shaming”

Creation Station

A little foil and glue make beautiful paintings

Families of Many Colors

PARENT TO PARENT

Transracial adoption is creating diverse families

20 Parent Involvement at School Being involved in kids’ school starts at home – no bake sale required

30 Family Man

If Dad likes it, his daughter doesn’t

Ac tivities 24 Family Events

The area’s most comprehensive calendar of family-friendly fun!

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Fun For Free FYI Try New Outdoor Activities

Feel Good at KIA’s Block Party

Make going back to school a little more fun and feel good about it at the Kalamazoo Institute of Arts Backto-School Block Party Aug. 25. The event offers a night of familyfriendly fun with hands-on art activities and the premiere of the KIA’s newly renovated Upjohn Mason Grandchildren Interactive Gallery. The gallery provides a “play-based space for families where kids can touch things,” says Candie Waterloo, KIA assistant curator of youth and family programs. The Block Party is also an opportunity to give back as the KIA is collecting items to be donated to the Communities In Schools Kids’ Closet. Kids’ Closet provides basic clothing, personal hygiene and school supplies to children so they can attend school comfortably and with dignity, ready to focus on learning. Among the items needed are children’s shorts and underwear, deodorant, hand/body lotion, and feminine hygiene items. When: 6:30–8 pm, Aug. 25

If it’s an outdoor activity, your kids can try it at the Barry County Outdoor Recreation Youth Day Sept. 10 in Hastings. Experts will be available to help kids from toddlers to teens try out more than 30 hands-on outdoor activities, including kayaking, fishing, archery and shooting sports. Kids can receive a free lunch and prizes (based on availability) and there will be a free raffle to win a kayak. The event is presented by the Barry County Conservation District, funded by donations and run by a network of local outdoor enthusiasts who want to help kids get the same exposure to outdoor sports that they had as children. When: 10 am–5 pm, Sept. 10

Place: C harlton Park, 2545 S. Charlton Park Road, Hastings Ages: All ages

More Info: barrycd.org/home/youth-day or facebook.com/bcyouthday

Get Geeked at Geekfest

If you are into comics, cosplay, robotics, gaming and other “geeky” things, GeekFest 2016 is meant for you. Participants at this firstever event can engage in board, card and role-playing games, see robotics and 3D printing demonstrations, enter a cosplay contest and meet with graphic novelists and authors, including Kenjji Jumane Marshall and Ruth McNally Barshaw (Ellie McDoodle series). In addition, food trucks and other vendors will be on site. You have a collaboration of local libraries to thank for this free event: Kalamazoo Public Library, Lawton Public Library, Paw Paw District Library, Portage District Library, and Van Buren District Library.

Place: K alamazoo Institute of Arts, 314 S. Park St.

When: 11 am–3 pm, Sept. 17

Ages: All ages

Ages: School-age and older

More Info: 349-7775, kiarts.org •

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Place: Antwerp Activity Center, 24821 Front St., Mattawan More Info: facebook.com/SWMGeekFest

All About Shelter

A house is more than a home — at least that’s the premise of Sustainable Shelter: Dwelling Within the Forces of Nature, an exhibit that opens at the Kalamazoo Valley Museum Sept. 14. The exhibit, on display through Jan. 8, explores the functions of shelters and how animals and humans have adapted to differing environments. It includes graphics, cartoons and interactive computer games as well as scale models that show how the size and environmental impact of American homes have changed over time. The exhibit also has a metal cast of an actual underground ant colony, a seven-foot-high termite mound and a diorama of the subterranean burrows of a ground squirrel. When: 9 am–5 pm Mon.–Sat., 1–5 pm Sun. Place: Kalamazoo Valley Museum, 230 N. Rose St. Ages: All ages

More Info: 373-7990, kvm.kvcc.edu

Music Instruction for All Ages & Abilities • Study & learn in a positive and supportive atmosphere with professional, enthusiastic, experienced, university-trained teaching artists including Kalamazoo Symphony Orchestra Artists-in-Residence • Private instruction on strings, woodwinds, brass, piano, guitar, percussion, voice, theory and composition • String and wind chamber ensembles • Community Voices for teens and adults Our mission with mental and physical challenges is your • Music Together® classes for infants, toddlers, musical growth and preschoolers & enjoyment! • Orff Studio classes for grades K-5 & adults • Join us for our annual Café and Open House on October 15, 1:00-4:00 pm Member Epic Center, Suite 12, 359 S. Kalamazoo Mall information@crescendoacademy.com www.crescendoacademy.com 269/345-6664

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Playground Pick FYI

Emily To

wnsend

Northside Park, Otsego Reviewed by Olo, age 4, and mom, Emily

Northside Park is tucked amongst rolling hills, a short

sages and was like drive north of downtown Otsego. Two experts in the field “a treehouse castle of playground greatness, mom Emily and her 4-year-old on the ground.” son, Olo, squeezed an adventure in there before naptime Emily said the and shared their thoughts on this wooden mammoth of a Northside structure tempted her to play as well with playground. Upon arrival, Olo immediately ran toward the Swiss its rope spider webs, miniature zip lines, casFamily Robinson-style wooden playground structure. tle, spaceship, kid-sized honeycomb, four slides and wallNoting that the playground was fenced in, Emily was able puzzles. “It feels a little like a funky Middle Earth,” she said. It should be mentioned that the park is ready for some to follow behind at her own speed, knowing Olo couldn’t updates such as adding disability-accessible swings and get too far from her view. Olo reported that the structure’s wooden boxes, sculptures paths and new rubber casings on the chain-link climbing and games were stacked together with maze-like secret pas- elements. The skate park, too, was a bit of an overstatement with one small ramp on a large blacktop. Upon reflection, Olo’s favorite part of Northside Park was playing baseball with his mom, which just goes to show that kids will always have the most fun doing what We Make they could do in their own backyard. Reading Possible However, Emily didn’t mind the nearly 30-minute commute from Kalamazoo to the park, saying, as Olo nodSpecializing in literacy development since 1974 ded off on the ride home, “He always falls asleep on long rides home.” Where: Watson Road, north of River Street, Otsego Hours: Dusk—10:30 pm Best Ages: 3 years—adult Amenities: • Fenced-in wooden playground structure • Regular and baby swings

Specialized support for literacy success in and out of the classroom. * Tutoring * Professional Development * Parent Workshops

www.sldRead.org 269.345.2661

• Rolling hills and landscaped garden • 2 covered picnic pavilions with 7 picnic tables and permanent charcoal grills • An in-line skate/skateboard area with a ramp • Baseball and softball diamond • Basketball court — Emily Townsend

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Make this! FYI

Family Dinner Mini-Pot Pies by

Ren Briggs

Ingredients • Nonstick cooking spray • 4 frozen deep-dish piecrusts •1 6 oz. can white-meat chicken in water •1 14.5 oz. can peas and carrots, drained •1 14.5 oz. diced white potatoes, drained •1 10.5 oz. Campbell’s Cream of Chicken with Herbs condensed soup • ¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese • ¼ tsp. fresh minced garlic

• Salt and pepper to taste

HOW TO

• 1 egg

Tools • 1 3-inch round cookie cutter • 1 2-inch round cookie cutter • Any mini cookie cutters your kids might enjoy • Mini-muffin pan • Pastry brush • 2 sheets parchment paper • 1 small bowl • 1 medium bowl • 1 sharp knife

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. 2. Thaw piecrusts at room temperature (should take about 15 minutes). 3. In medium bowl, stir together chicken, peas and carrots, potatoes, cheese, garlic, salt, pepper and soup. Mix well because the mixture will be very thick. 4. Remove thawed piecrusts from aluminum pans, carefully laying them flat on parchment paper. Use the 3-inch round cookie cutter to cut circles out of the dough of 2 piecrusts. 5. Spray the mini-muffin pan and carefully press a 3-inch dough circle into each muffin cup. If small tears or

holes occur in the dough, press extra dough left over from cutting to patch. 6. Place a spoonful of the chicken mixture in the center of each dough cup. 7. Lay out the remaining 2 piecrusts on another sheet of parchment paper. Using the 2-inch round cookie cutter, cut enough circles to cover the tops of the pies in the mini-muffin pans. 8. Beat egg in small bowl. Brush both sides of each 2-inch dough circle with egg. Press one circle onto the top of each pie, and press the tops and bottoms together to seal the edges. Slice small vent into center of each pie.

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9. Bake at 375 degrees for 25—30 minutes or until golden brown. Allow the pies to cool about 10 minutes before removing them from the pan or the crusts will crumble. Using a sharp knife, go around the edges of each pie to loosen it from the pan (use a plastic knife if using a nonstick pan so you don’t scratch the pan’s finish).

HINTS • You can use cooked diced chicken breast that you prepare yourself and frozen veggies for a lower sodium version of this recipe. It will take longer to prepare if you cook the chicken yourself. •H ave your kids help by letting them cut out the dough circles with the 3- and 2-inch cookie cutters. • With the leftover dough scraps, let your little ones use the small cookie cutters to make shapes to decorate the tops of the pies, using egg wash to “glue” the shapes to the tops. (A knife can also be used to cut out shapes, but make sure you supervise your children if they do this.)

• The pies can be prepared and frozen for up to a month. When ready to cook them, remove from the freezer, allow them to thaw, brush the tops with an egg wash and bake at 375 degrees for about 25 minutes or until golden brown. • You can use this recipe to make one large pot pie. Place all the filling ingredients into a thawed deep-dish piecrust (leave in aluminum pan) and cover with the second crust removed from its pan. The kids can decorate the top by creating a design using a toothpick to poke the vent holes into the top crust. • Try substituting 8 oz. of broccoli florets, 8 oz. of cooked rice and ¼ cup of shredded cheddar cheese for the peas and carrots, potatoes and Parmesan cheese for a completely different pot pie experience.

Imagine a school where each student gets the attention he or she needs and virtues are part of every school day. That’s Paramount Charter Academy. For your child, it changes everything.

Call Katie

269-202-4151

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Everyday Hacks FYI

Beat the Bedtime Blues by

Anne Lape

Soon

the yellow school buses will be rolling down our streets again and the long summer nights will turn back into practices, rehearsals, homework and refrains of “Your project is due when?” One of the hardest transitions of back to school is getting back into the school-year bedtime routine. Because my child is not, nor ever has been, what you’d designate as a “good sleeper,” I have struggled with helping him get 8-plus restful hours of sleep each night. But along the way, I’ve learned a few things that have helped smooth out the bumps to get the best out of bedtime. (P.S. All of these hacks work for helping adults get a better night’s sleep, too.) Start ahead of time

Block out light

Get back on your school-year bedtime schedule at least two weeks before school starts. Establish a bedtime and wake-up routine that allows for plenty of rest — this is important if your kids are transitioning to a new school that has a different start time than they are used to (such as going from elementary to middle school). Ease back into the routine by setting bedtime 15 minutes earlier each night until you are back to the right bedtime for the school year.

It’s so hard for a kid to go to bed when it’s still light outside! Try to block out as much ambient light in the bedroom as possible. Start with the windows: Use blackout curtains that cover the entire window and some space on either side so that light doesn’t seep in around the edges. If you want a more temporary solution, make your own custom-fitted blackout window shades from black felt or a vinyl tablecloth. Cut the felt or tablecloth to match the size of the window and then use painter’s tape to attach it to cover the glass. It will peel off cleanly when you no longer need the darkness (thank you, painter’s tape!).

Let the kids help Get buy-in from your kids on their bedtime routine by creating together a list of what activities will happen before and at bedtime. For younger kids, drawing pictures of pre-bedtime activities of what “brushing teeth” and “story time” will look like can be helpful. My sister pasted the pictures on her fridge to provide a constant reminder to her 4- and 6-year-old of the routine. A bonus to the posted list and pictures: They also support the bedtime routine for sitters when you aren’t there.

Softer nightlight Whether it is to give our kids a sense of security or so we don’t stub our toes getting to the bathroom in the middle of the night, nightlights are a staple in many households. And while illuminating, they can be disruptive to sleep. Choose red, yellow or orange bulbs for the nightlight, rather than clear or white bulbs, to soften the effect the lights have on brainwaves.

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Make a little noise In late summer and early fall the birds are still chirping and lawn mowers are still mowing outside in the evenings, while we are inside trying to convince our kids it really is bedtime. Not to mention the noises parents and siblings make just moving around the house. Invest in a white noise machine to run in a corner of your children’s room. An oscillating fan set on low with the air flow aimed away from the bed (but not on anything that will rustle) is also good for drowning out those bumps in the night. Snack time About 45 minutes to an hour before bedtime, give your kids a healthy snack. It helps to fill up their tummies so that they aren’t waking up because they are hungry. Make sure the snack includes some protein, like a cheese stick or peanut butter, and complex carbohydrates or fiber, such as whole-grain crackers or apple slices. Keep the portions small so they don’t get over-full. Electronics break This one is as hard for parents as it is for kids, but put away electronic devices (such as computers, phones, tablets, etc.) an hour before bedtime. This can be espe-

cially difficult as your kids get older and are required to use computers for homework. Make the break from electronics part of the bedtime routine, using the time for showers or baths, to read a book (an actual paper one) or eat a snack. No weekends off If you thought turning off the electronics was the hard one, then you won’t like this one, either. Keep your sleep schedule, even on the weekends. I know, I can sense the teen eye-rolling from here. I relished when my son began sleeping in on the weekends, because then I could sleep in, too. But sleep experts agree that sticking to your normal sleep schedule as closely as possible on weekends is best because it keeps your brain more alert during the day and ready to go to sleep at bedtime. And then you don’t get the Sunday night blues because you are tired from not getting enough sleep all weekend. Finally, be consistent. Bedtime and sleep are tricky, so if you try a new routine or method, commit to it for at least two weeks and stick to it. It’ll make the transition of back to school way less exhausting.

Welcome Back Students

Fall Classes Start September 10 Ages 3 - 4: My First Art Class (4 Fridays) Ages 4 - K: Artistic Expression (6 weeks) Parent & Child Clay Play

4 Saturdays starting Sep. 11 One adult + one child age 5+

www.portageps.org

Grades 1 – 3 Parent & Child Glass Workshop

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Sun. November 13, 1-3:30 pm One adult + one child age 7+

Unless noted, classes are held Saturdays for 11 weeks. Members enjoy discounts, join at kiarts.org Register online kiarts.org/school

12 • Aug/Sept 2016

PPS.BACK TO SCHOOL AD 16.indd 1

Art in the Kitchen South of the Border (6 weeks) Grades 4 - 6 The Art of Drawing Clay on the Wheel Fun with Photography (4 weeks) Middle & High School Drawing & Painting Photography Clay on the Wheel

6/22/16 10:58 AM

Call (269) 349-7775

KALAMAZOO INSTITUTE OF ARTS

Is this normal? FYI

You Ask, Experts Answer

My 8-year-old daughter has started making comments about people’s weight. She points out “fat people” when we are in public and says to me that they eat too much. Then yesterday, she said I need to go on a diet and should be “skinny like other moms.” I could stand to lose 20 pounds, and when she said that it hurt my feelings. I totally snapped at her and told her that was an inappropriate way to talk to me. Actually I think my reaction was inappropriate. I feel like I need to help her not be so judgmental about other people. How do I do that? — Portage Mom

It seems like this is a difficult situation with your daughter, not only because you are concerned about her hurting someone else’s feelings but also because she has hurt you. A good place to start when dealing with this problem may be to have a non-confrontational conversation with your daughter about weight and body image. Through this discussion, explore with your daughter where this attention to weight began and where she is getting her messages about what healthy looks like. It may also be helpful through this discussion to explore if she has witnessed this behavior of identifying overweight people from others in the family or social group. This would also be a good time to share with your daughter how you felt when she said that to you. Encourage her to think about how she might feel if someone made

negative comments about the way she looks. Enhancing empathy may decrease her negative thoughts and comments about weight. It is important to also assist her in fostering a healthy self-esteem without comparing herself to others. If she is looking at others in a negative light to feel good about herself, it will be helpful to work on self-esteem building along with the empathy building. If you think she would benefit from self-esteem or empathy building, in addition to ongoing conversations with you, seeing a mental health professional may prove to be helpful. Questions answered by Nichole Holliday, MA, LLPC, LLMFT, Private Practice at Child & Family Psychological Services Portage, and Alyssa Noonan, LLMSW, Private Practice at Child & Family Psychological Services Kalamazoo.

St. Michael Lutheran School Christ for Kids Childcare Center 7211 Oakland Drive  Portage, MI 49024 St. Michael Lutheran Church LCMS

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www.stmikeschool.org School (269) 327-0512 Christ for Kids (269) 327-4889 Church Office (269) 327-7832

Education with Christ at the Heart fyiswmichigan.com •

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Creation station FYI

Foil Paintings by

Melissa Lam

Not every art project you do with your kids requires a trip to the craft store. Opportunities abound for you be creative with everyday household objects. Foil Paintings are just such a project: You need aluminum foil and the cardboard from a cereal box, which you probably have in your kitchen already. Foil paintings aren’t really paintings, but they look like it when finished. They are easy to make, and the finished work looks great.

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HOW TO DO IT

• Trace the design with glue.

Materials Needed

• Let the glue dry (it should be raised).

• Cereal box or other cardboard •G lue (can use white liquid glue such as Elmer’s, tacky glue or a hot glue gun)

• Place a sheet of foil over the design and gently press until the glue creates a raised outline. • Wrap the excess foil around the edges of the cardboard.

• Pencil

• Color the design with markers.

• Scissors

Hints

• Colored markers

• It’s essential that the glue is dry or the foil will smoosh it, ruining your design. Hot glue dries the fastest, so if you use Elmer’s or tacky glue, be sure to allow plenty of time for the glue to dry.

• Aluminum foil Directions • I f using a cereal box, pull open the flaps at the box’s bottom and cut those and the box’s sides off, leaving two flat, rectangular pieces of cardboard.

• Dark-colored markers typically show up best on the foil.

• I f using other types of cardboard, cut an 8-inch by 10inch piece for your painting.

• You can help your children to avoid tearing the foil while coloring by encouraging them to not press too hard on the foil.

•O n the non-printed side of the cardboard, draw a simple design using a pencil.

• The higher the quality of aluminum foil, the better. Cheap foil can rip even during coloring.

Working together to help all students succeed. The Kalamazoo Regional Educational Service Agency collaborates with Kalamazoo County schools to inspire educational excellence. We provide responsive, cost-effective support for learners, parents and educators.

For more information, visit www.kresa.org or call 269-250-9200

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Transracial Adoption Creates

Families of Many Colors BY ANDREW DOMINO

hite babies kind of seem pale to me now. Both my wife and I are Caucasian and pretty ordinary looking (actually, she looks better than ordinary), but our son is brown, and it’s obvious his beautiful caramel skin didn’t come from us. We adopted Benjamin in 2013, and while we didn’t set out to have one, our adoption is among the estimated 40 percent of U.S. adoptions that are transracial. Transracial, or interracial, adoption occurs when a child of one race, culture or ethnicity joins a family where one or both of the adoptive parents are of a different race or ethnicity. Transracial adoptions are most often seen in families who adopt children from developing nations, but, as in our case, they are occurring more and more with domestic adoptions as well. Several years ago, we turned to an adoption agency for help in starting a family, and in December 2012, we finally heard what we had been waiting to hear for nearly two years: a baby was available for adoption. We wanted a healthy baby, and the color of the child’s skin didn’t matter to us. So, just before Christmas, we were matched with Benjamin. There isn’t much information about his biological father, but we know that Ben’s birth mother has some Hispanic heritage. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Children’s Bureau, more than half of the children adopted in 2013 and 2014 in Michigan were white, while 24 percent were African-American. Children of two or more races, such as Ben, accounted for 14 percent of the state’s adoptions. Many families, however, make an active choice to adopt children of different ethnicities by adopting chilThe Perso family, clockwise from top left: Thomas, Samson, Leah, Aiden, Kristen and Ella, grew through transracial adoption.

dren from other countries. In 2015, American families adopted more than 2,300 children from China. Another 300 were adopted from Ethiopia, including a boy adopted by Nikki Racine and her husband, Michael, of Grand Ledge. The Racines already had one adopted child and adopted their second child from Ethiopia. Their older son, now 4, is African-American and was born in Grand Rapids. While born in different countries, Racine notes the boys have one thing in common: both are of African descent. “Race does make a difference, but love conquers all,” Racine says. Kristen and Thomas Perso of Kalamazoo also have children through transracial adoptions of international children. With two daughters of their own, the Persos decided to add to their family by adopting boys. Their 5-year-old son, Sampson, came from Uganda in July 2013, and the Persos adopted a son from China last year. Kristen Perso says about two years ago, her older son started asking questions about why he looks different from his sisters (the Persos and their daughters are Caucasian). The entire family spent three weeks in Uganda before the adoption, and Perso says showing her son photos from the trip and talking about their time in Africa has helped. “He knows we brought him on an airplane,” Perso says. “He notices that he has a different skin color, and we explain why and say that’s OK.” Adoption agencies encourage transracial families to recognize the culture of their children’s birth parents and can provide materials like books and videos on hairstyles and holidays of the children’s birth cultures. Racine says her family celebrates Kwanzaa and Black History Month. Joel Bell, assistant branch director for Bethany Christian Services in Kalamazoo, says adoptive families often look to community organizations — not only professional

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A number of agencies in Southwest Michigan can facilitate adoption: Calhoun County Family & Children’s Services, Battle Creek 269-965-3247 www.fcsource.org Youth Guidance Foster Care & Adoption Center, Battle Creek 269-969-9438 www.citylinc.org

Kalamazoo County Bethany Christian Services 269-372-8800 www.bethany.org/kalamazoo

Samaritas (formerly Lutheran Social Services) 269-345-5776 www.samaritas.org

Kent County Bethany Christian Services, Grand Rapids 616-224-7550 www.bethany.org/grandrapids Catholic Charities of West Michigan, Grand Rapids 616-546-1443 www.ccwestmi.org D.A. Blodgett for Children – St. John’s, Grand Rapids 616-451-2021 www.dabsj.org Greater Hopes Family Services, Grand Rapids 616-451-0245 www.greaterhopes.org Source: Michigan Department of Health and Human Services and Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange

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18 • Aug/Sept 2016

Tammy Boneburg

Family & Children’s Services 269-344-0202 www.fcsource.org

adoption firms, but also churches and groups for stay-at-home parents — to help find children with the same skin color and ethnicity as their adopted children, so the children will be able to learn about their own cultural heritage among people of the same background. Early in our own adoption process, the agency we worked with gave us books on transracial adoption, telling stories of black children raised in white families, among others. We also have a DVD with tips on AfricanAmerican hair care — but it turns out Ben’s hair is more wavy like mine, so I already know what we can do to manage it (go to a professional hairstylist). “We encourage families to find a church and maintain friendships of

Andrew Domino, top right, and his wife Tracy Pollard adopted their son Benjamin Domino three years ago.

the same race as the child, so they have connections who look like he or she does,” Bell says. Eventually, we may talk with his birth mother about her Hispanic background when Ben, who is 3, is a little older.

The Process

Transracial adoptions begin the way most adoptions in the United States do. The process begins when a pregnant woman or couple decides they can’t care for the child once he or she is born. In most cases, the birth mother or parents seek out an adoption agency to help place their child

with an adoptive family. These agencies have lists of potential parents who have signed up with the agency to find children to adopt and have been screened for everything from their financial situations and hobbies to the families they grew up in. There are also “direct placement” adoptions, where an adoption is arranged between a birth family and an adoptive family without using a public agency. In the state of Michigan, an adoption attorney usually handles these and adoptive families are still required to go through the home-assessment process. If the birth parents know a family interested in adopting their child — maybe a relative of the mother or a friend at church, for example — they may choose direct placement. According to the U.S. Children’s Bureau, nearly half of all Michigan’s adoptions in 2014 were by married couples, 30 percent by single women, 17 percent by unmarried couples, and just 4.6 percent by single men. Same-sex couples can adopt in Michigan, though adoption agencies can legally refuse service to them for religious reasons. Most adoptions these days are “open” adoptions, where the child will know at least one of his or her birth parents, as opposed to a “closed” adoption, where the birth parents remain unknown to the adoptive parents and the child. Once the norm, closed adoptions accounted for only about 5 percent of U.S. adoptions in 2012, according to a report by the Donaldson Adoption Institute, an adoption advocacy group. In an open adoption, the birth mother (or couple) gets to know the adoptive family, and — as long as they agree — they stay in contact with one another throughout the pregnancy, birth, and long afterward. After the baby is born, but before he or she is legally adopted, the child is placed in a temporary foster home, while the courts officially terminate the birth parents’ parental rights and assign these rights to the adoptive parents, a process that can take weeks and even years. In other cases, such as ours, the birth and adoptive parents may not have months to get to know one another. There are “gift” babies, born to women who decide to give a child up for adoption only after they’ve given birth, and international adoptions, where a child from another country comes to the U.S. to be adopted, and the adoptive parents learn little to nothing about the birth parents. Ben was a gift baby. The hospital where he was born had a relationship with the adoption agency we were using, and the agency contacted us on the day he was born.

We didn’t know anything about him or his birth parents, but we said, “We’ll take him.”

Answering Questions

However, bringing children of a different race, culture or ethnicity into a family requires some preparation. Agencies recommend that parents who are planning to adopt and who already have children talk with their children about their plans for a transracial adoption and what that will mean for their family. Adopting parents might have to talk with their own parents, too, about the possibility that the new family member will be a different race. When my wife and I were told this, we weren’t concerned; we knew our parents would be happy with our child, no matter what he or she looked like. And we were right. But our agency had told us stories of Caucasian would-be grandparents who didn’t want a child of a different ethnicity as part of their family. Bell says parents who claim “not to see race” may have the right idea, but that may not be enough when a child is old enough to understand that he or she doesn’t look the same as his or her parents and extended families. “We say, ‘We’re glad you feel this way, but your child is going to come to the realization that ‘I’m different, and what does that mean?’” Bell says. “We encourage parents to have answers to those questions.” My wife and I haven’t had to face those questions yet — Benjamin is still a little young to ask about his birth parents, though we meet with his birth mother twice a year and send photos. He attends day care five days a week and his classmates and teachers are racially diverse. He already realizes that not everyone looks the same and, hopefully, in a culturally and physically diverse community like Kalamazoo, he’ll have friends from all races and ethnicities. Adoptive parents who take agencies’ advice and celebrate a child’s cultural background may find it allows them to learn about different social and ethnic groups. The Perso family meets with a Western Michigan University student from Uganda about once a month, just to spend time together. “I was always interested in adoption, but it’s nothing like I ever expected,” Perso says. “I feel like our kids are learning things they wouldn’t normally. We see life beyond our tiny little slice of Kalamazoo.”

“Race does make a difference, but love conquers all.” -Nikki Racine

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d e e m o h v t l a t r a o t s n v a c ol GePtarenIt n involvement in scho BY MARIE LEE

f you want to help your children do better as students, get involved in their school. But before you take this as another “you should” parenting lecture, hear us out: An abundance of research has shown that family and parental involvement in their kids’ school helps students perform better. In its publication, A New Wave of Evidence: The Impact of School, Family and Community Connections on Student Achievement, the National Center for Family & Community Connections with Schools reviewed more than

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50 recent studies on family engagement and schools and found that the data is clear: parental involvement in school has a positive influence on student achievement at all ages. Now for many of us, the words “parental involvement” and “school” conjure up visions of Parent Teacher Organization meetings and chaperoning field trips, which for many parents may be unfeasible because of full work and home lives. But involvement in your children’s education can happen on many levels — no bake sale required.

Parent involvement in school can be divided into four basic categories: discussing school activities with your child, monitoring his or her out-ofschool activities, contacting school staff, and volunteering and attending school events including conferences and open houses. And most of the research agrees: Parental involvement in school starts at home.

at home

Ann Pilzner, head of school of The Montessori School in Kalamazoo and Richland, says that being involved with your children’s school sends them a big message. “Children need to understand that education is important, and when they see their parents engaged at their school, it tells them that their parents view education as important, too,” Pilzner says. The easiest way to get involved is simply by discussing school activities with your children daily, including what subjects they are learning in class and their assignments, checking their homework and even reading to them, all of which have very positive impacts. Researchers Esther Ho SuiChu and Douglas Willms found that of the many different ways parents and families can be involved in their kids’ education, involvement at home has the greatest effect on student achievement. Schools will often help facilitate family involvement at home. For example, Kalamazoo Public Schools provides resources, information and programs to enhance at-home involvement efforts, according to Dodie Raycraft, director of school improvement, Title 1 and assessments at KPS. “Involvement at school expands to the home environment and we work to support parents and find out in what ways they need support,” Ray-

craft says. “We are finding ways to expand the opportunities for kids to learn outside of school in order to reinforce the learning within the school day. Our Lift Up Through Literacy program teaches hands-on literacy skills to parents and children that they can use at home. We make sure all first graders visit the Kalamazoo Public Library and receive library cards so they can visit the library year-round. And many of our schools send home activity packs or books for the summer.”

Communication is key

Active, onging communication between families and schools is pivotal in facilitating parental and family involvement, say both Raycraft and Pilzner. When families are informed about what’s going in their children’s classrooms, it is that much easier for them to engage with their child about school. Schools employ many methods to provide information to parents. From weekly newsletters and websites to Facebook pages, voicemail messages and text messages, schools can keep parents apprised of everything from upcoming school events to homework assignments and testing schedules. The Montessori School also has parent liaisons for each class, says Pilzner, who help teachers spread the word to their students’ parents about what is happening in class and how they can become involved. It is also important that parents know how to contact and feel comfortable contacting the staff and teachers at their children’s schools. Research has shown that positive parent–teacher relationships contribute to children’s academic success. One of the best ways for parents to establish this contact is to attend a school’s open house to meet the teachers and then follow up by attending par-

ent–teacher conferences, even as students get older. Not only do the conferences allow families to learn about their student’s progress, but they also allow parents to provide teachers with valuable feedback on the student, such as his or her academic and social development, that they might not otherwise know.

Building community

A key element to foster family involvement in schools is to make families feel that they are part of a community, say Raycraft. Raycraft says KPS works on building relationships with families and establishing a sense of community at its schools so that families feel welcome. “Many times families are cautious about going to a school for an open house or other activity, because they had a negative school experience themselves,” says Raycraft. “Our schools are working on building relationships with these families so they are more comfortable. Open houses and programs like Literacy Night and community dinners help these families to have a positive experience in the school. It creates a whole sense of belonging for them and helps them see the important role they can play in their children’s education.”

Starting now

As the school year begins, Raycraft suggests families begin their involvement efforts by attending their children’s school open houses and reading the communication that is mailed to them from school principals. Both of these provide a wealth of information on opportunities for involvement as well as programs and resources for families. “It gives information that helps set the year up for you,” she says. Pilzner says that helping to enhance kids’ learning outside the classroom is also key. “The best thing a parent

fyiswmichigan.com •

21 •

d e v l o Get Inv

can do is show children that learning is fun and provide opportunities for them to engage in learning in different environments, like going to a library or a park,” she says. Finally, for families who have the time and want to be more involved, there are ample volunteer opportunities at the schools. Parent Teacher Organizations, which are run by parent volunteers, engage in a number of activities that support their schools. There are School Improvement Teams and committees where parents can provide input on ways to improve schools. In addition, many teachers have a long list of needs that families can fill. And rest assured, teachers are looking for some help: A 2014 survey of 1,000 K–12 teachers found that 97 percent of them welcomed parental involvement.

setting up a quiet place at home for them to work on homework and assignments.

• Take advantage of the learning technologies available for schoolwork outside the classroom, such as Compass Learning, a program that allows students to practice math skills. Participate with your child, so he or she can see it as a fun learning experience. • Sign up for the text alerts, Facebook posts and email newsletters from your children’s school and teachers. • Pay attention to your child’s progress reports when they are sent home and set aside time to discuss the reports together.

Here are some simple suggestions to become involved in your children’s school:

• Take advantage of online grade reporting systems — such as KPS’ Home Access Center — and check it weekly to know the status of your student’s assignments, homework and progress in each class.

•S tress to your children the importance of school and being responsible for schoolwork, and reinforce it by

• Read to and with your kids daily and visit libraries throughout the year, especially during the summer.

How to Be Involved

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WHERE IS? Addresses, phone numbers & websites of venues frequently appearing in the calendar: Air Zoo — 6151 Portage Rd, 382-6555, airzoo.org

Binder Park Zoo — 7400 Division Dr, Battle Creek, 979-1351, binderparkzoo.org Comstock Township Library — 6130 King Highway, 345-0136, comstocklibrary.org

Galesburg-Charleston Memorial District Library — 188 E Michigan Ave, Galesburg, 665-7839, facebook.com/galesburg.charleston.library Kalamazoo County Expo Center — 2900 Lake St, 383-8778, kalcounty.com/parks/expo Kalamazoo Institute of Arts — 314 S Park St, 349-7775, kiarts.com

ONGOING Thru Aug 7, Grand Haven Coast Guard Festival, parades, fireworks, ship tours & entertainment, Grand Haven, coastguardfest.org, all ages, outdoors, see website for details

Thru Aug 12, Kids’ Summer Movies, watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Aug 1–5; Despicable Me 2, Aug 8–12, 10 am, Kalamazoo 10, 820 Maple Hill Dr, 345-6434, goodrichqualitytheaters.com, all ages, $1

Thru Aug 21, Fares and Squares: The History of Checker Motors, the company’s history & view a 1923 taxi, museum hours, Kalamazoo Valley Museum, all ages, FREE Thru Sept 3, Treasures of the Great Lakes, how navigators use the night sky & lighthouses, 3 pm Tues & Thurs, 2 pm Sat, Kalamazoo Valley Museum Planetarium, all ages, $3

Thru Sept 5, Kids Camp @ Alamo Drafthouse, kids’ movies that benefit local nonprofits, noon, Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, 180 Portage St, 532-7990, drafthouse. com/kalamazoo, ages 3 & up, see website for schedule Thru Sept 11, LEGO® Travel Adventure, build vehicles & plan a travel adventure, museum hours, Kalamazoo Valley Museum, all ages, FREE Thru Sept 16, One World, One Sky, Big Bird, Elmo & Hu Hu Zhu explore the sky, 11 am Mon–Fri (excluding Sept 5–9), 1 pm Sat, 2 pm Sun, Kalamazoo Valley Museum Planetarium, all ages, $3

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Kalamazoo Nature Center — 7000 N Westnedge Ave, 381-1574, naturecenter.org KalamazooValley Museum — 230 N Rose St, 373-7990 KPL-Alma Powell — Kalamazoo Public Library-Alma Powell, 1000 W Paterson Ave, 553-7960, kpl.gov KPL-Central — Kalamazoo Public Library-Central, 315 S Rose St, 342-9827, kpl.gov KPL-Eastwood — Kalamazoo Public Library-Eastwood, 1112 Gayle Ave, 553-7810, kpl.gov KPL-Oshtemo — Kalamazoo Public Library-Oshtemo, 7265 W Main St, 553-7980, kpl.gov KPL-Washington Square — Kalamazoo Public Library-Washington Square, 1244 Portage Rd, 553-7970, kpl.gov Parchment Library — Parchment Community Library, 401 S. Riverview Drive, 343-7747, parchmentlibrary.org Portage Library — Portage District Library, 300 Library Lane, 3294544, portagelibrary.info Richland Library — 8951 Park St, 629-9085, richlandlibrary.org

Thru Oct 2, POPnology, handson exhibit of pop culture’s impact on technology, Air Zoo, all ages, regular admission

Thru Jan 8, Sustainable Shelter: Dwelling Within the Forces of Nature, investigate how homes use & discard energy, water & natural resources, Kalamazoo Valley museum, muesum hours, all ages, FREE Aug 5–14, USTA Boys’ 18 & 16 National Tennis Championships, the top 400 tennis players compete, Stowe Stadium, Kalamazoo College, 337-7343, ustaboys.com, all ages, outdoors, ticket prices vary

Aug 8–13, Kalamazoo County Fair, Kids’ Zone, farm animals, 4-H exhibits, carnival rides, games & food, 9 am–9 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center, 373-5181, kalamazoocountyfair. com, all ages, $6 adults, $2 ages 6–12, 5 & under free

Aug 12–Sept 17, Cotton Patch Gospel, a musical retelling the life of Jesus set in modern-day rural Georgia, 8 pm, Fri & Sat, New Vic Theatre, 134 E Vine St, 381-3328, thenewvictheatre.org, all ages, $25 Aug 16–28, Singin’ in the Rain, musical comedy about Hollywood performers in the 1920s, 8 pm Tues–Sat, 5 pm Sun, Barn Theatre, 13351 West M-96, Augusta, 731-4121, barntheatreschool. org, all ages, $37 Sept 23–Oct 9, Oklahoma!, Rogers & Hammerstein’s musical production, 7:30 pm Fri & Sat, 2 pm Sun, Kalamazoo Civic Theatre, 329 S Park St, 343-1313, kazoocivic.com, all ages, call for ticket prices

WEEKLY Mondays Maker Mondays, (Aug only), tinker, create & explore, 1 pm, KPLCentral, grades 5–12, FREE Woodward School Summer Garden Nights, (thru Aug 22), help garden, play & eat fresh treats, 6 pm, Woodward School for Technology & Research, 606 Stuart Ave, 492-1270, fairfoodmatters.org, all ages, outdoors, FREE Tuesdays Kalamazoo Farmers’ Market, produce & other goods, 7 am–2 pm, 1204 Bank St, 359-6727, farmersmarketkalamazoo.com, all ages, outdoors, FREE Baby Lapsit–Infants, (Aug only), songs, bounces & rhymes, 9:30 am, KPL-Central, birth–walking, FREE Baby Steps–Walkers, (Aug only), rhymes, songs & books, 10:30 am, KPL-Central, walking–24 months, FREE Tech Tuesdays, (Aug only), experiment with cutting-edge tech tools, 3:30 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE No Family Left Indoors, (thru Aug 16), a different family-oriented program each week, 6:30–8 pm, Pierce Cedar Creek Institute, 701 W Cloverdale Rd, Hastings, 721-4190, cedarcreekinstitute. org, all ages, FREE Wednesdays Toddler Talk, toddlers play & adults share with a parent educator, 10:15 am–noon, KPL-Oshtemo, ages 1–3, FREE Farmyard Wednesdays, a different farm-related theme each week, 10:30 am–noon, DeLano Homestead, 555 West E Ave, 3811574, naturecenter.org, ages 2–8, outdoors, regular admission plus $2 fee Theatre Camp with Face Off Theatre Company, (thru Aug 24), scriptwriting, casting, & performing, 11 am–2 pm, KPL-Central, grades 6–12, FREE Baby Talk, (Aug only), talk infant care with Carolyn Call, RN, 1:30– 3:30 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, ages 0–12 mo, FREE 100-Mile Farmers’ Market, fresh food from local farms, 3–7 pm, People’s Food Co-op, 507 Harrison St, 359-6727, pfcmarkets. com, all ages, FREE Thursdays Kalamazoo Farmers’ Market, produce & other goods, 7 am–2 pm, 1204 Bank St, 359-6727, farmersmarketkalamazoo.com, all ages, outdoors, FREE Code Camp, programming, scripting, coding & problem-solving, 10 am, KPL-Central, grades 1–4, FREE Family Storytime, stories, songs & activities, 10:30 am, KPL-Oshtemo, ages 0–5, FREE

Code Camp, programming, scripting, coding & problemsolving, 11:30 am, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE Reading with Tucker, (Aug only), read to a friendly Golden Retriever (registration required), 4–5:30 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, all ages, FREE Arrows Away Archery, (thru Sept 1), introductory archery program, 5, 5:30, 6 & 6:30 pm, Wolf Lake State Fish Hatchery, 34270 County Road 652, Mattawan, 668-2876, michigan.gov/dnr, ages 8 & up, outdoors, FREE Fridays Brain Buster Fridays, puzzles, board games, math mysteries & riddles, 9 am–6 pm, KPL-Central, ages 6–11, FREE Brain Buster Fridays, puzzles, board games, math mysteries & riddles, 10 am–5 pm, KPL-Alma Powell, ages 6–11, FREE Family Storytime, stories, songs & activities, 10:30 am, KPL-Central, ages 0–5, FREE Lunchtime Live, local musicians, food trucks & pop-up vendors, 11:30 am–1:30 pm, Bronson Park, 337-8295, kzooparks.org, all ages, outdoors, FREE Hook, Line & Sinker, (Aug only), learn casting & fishing basics, 5–7 pm, Wolf Lake State Fish Hatchery, 34270 County Road 652, Mattawan, 668-2876, michigan.gov/ dnr, ages 3–16, outdoors, FREE Saturdays Kalamazoo Farmers’ Market, produce & other goods, 7 am–2 pm, 1204 Bank St, 359-6727, farmersmarketkalamazoo.com, all ages, outdoors, FREE Hook, Line & Sinker, (Aug only), learn casting & fishing basics, 9–11 am, Wolf Lake State Fish Hatchery, 34270 County Road 652, Mattawan, 668-2876, michigan.gov/dnr, ages 3–16, outdoors, FREE Creature Feature, (Aug only), see a different animal up close each week, 11 am, Kalamazoo Nature Center, all ages, regular admission Sundays Portage Farmers’ Market, produce & other goods, noon–4 pm, Portage Senior Center, 320 Library Lane, 359-6726, pfcmarkets.com, all ages, FREE Concerts in the Park, Lowdown Brass Band, Aug 7; The Nightingales, Aug 14; Seventh Son Blues Band, Aug 21; Lake Effect Jazz Band, Aug 28, 4 pm, Bronson Park, 342-5059, kalamazooarts. org, all ages, FREE Kindleberger Summer Concert Series, (Aug only), Big Boss Blues, Aug 7; Ben Daniels Band, Aug 14; Megan Dooley & the Last Roots, Aug 21; SHOUT! – A Beatles Tribute Band, Aug 28, 6:30 pm, The Stage at Kindleberger Park, Parchment, kindleberger. org, all ages, outdoors, FREE

August Monday, August 1

Little Scientists, stories & science (registration required), 10:30 am, KPL-Central, ages 3–6, FREE Craft: Color a Sports-Themed Backpack, (registration required), 10:30 am & 1:30 pm, Comstock Township Library, ages 3 & up, FREE Tie Dye, create a colorful project, 2 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, grades 5–12, outdoors, FREE Tuesday, August 2

Baby & Toddler Program, stories, fingerplays & movement, 10 am, Portage Library, ages 0–23 mo, FREE Drop-in Storytime, stories, songs, games, parachute play & craft, 10:30 am, Comstock Township Library, ages 1–5, FREE Tie Dye, create a colorful project, 2 pm, KPL-Washington Square, grades 5–12, outdoors, FREE Open Roads Bike Fixapalooza, get bike parts & help fixing your bike, 4 pm, KPL-Eastwood, grades 5–12, FREE Teen Game Club, video games, comics & snacks, 4 pm, Portage Library, grades 6–12, FREE Dairy Open House: Cheese, learn about cheesemaking, 4–8 pm, Pasture Dairy Center, WK Kellogg Biological Station, 10461 N 40th St, Hickory Corners, 6712508, pasturedairy.kbs.msu.edu, all ages, FREE Craft: Color a Sports-Themed Backpack, (registration required), 7 pm, Comstock Township Library, ages 3 & up, FREE Wednesday, August 3

Family Fun, interactive art, dance & stories, 10 am, Portage Library, all ages, FREE Drop-in Building Blast, building with LEGOs, 10:30–noon, Richland Community Library, all ages, FREE Wonderful Wednesday – Flying Discs, decorate a flying disc, 11 am, Galesburg-Charleston Memorial District Library, all ages, FREE Stars of the Pharaohs, travel to Egypt to see how they used science & the stars, 1 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum Planetarium, all ages, $3 Challenger Experience, experience the simulation program & a spacecraft, 1 pm & 1:45 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum, all ages, $3 Hands-on Happenings, enjoy arts, crafts & LEGOs & learn about the museum, 1–4 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum, FREE

Go WILD! With Nature-on-theGo, Naturalist Educator Laurel Zoet teaches about wildlife, 2 pm, KPL-Alma Powell, ages 6–11, FREE Spacepark 360, travel to an amusement park that spans the solar system, 2 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum Planetarium, all ages, $3 Tie Dye, create a colorful project, 2 pm, KPL-Eastwood, grades 5–12, outdoors, FREE Voyage to Mars Mini-Mission, interactive, hands-on simulated space mission, 3 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum, all ages, $3 STEM: Candy Science, science & engineering activities (registration required), 5:30 pm, Comstock Township Library, ages 5 & up, FREE Speak It Forward Presents, empowering youth through spoken poetry, 6:30–8 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE Thursday, August 4

Paper Marbling, kids’ workshop creating with water, ink & paper (registration required), 10 am–noon, Kalamazoo Book Arts Center, 326 W Kalamazoo Ave, 373-4938, kalbookarts.org, ages 6+, $15 Go WILD! With Nature-onthe-Go, Naturalist Educator Laurel Zoet teaches about wildlife, 10:30 am, KPL-Washington Square, ages 6–11, FREE Ribfest, food, entertainment & music, 11 am, Arcadia Creek Festival Place, kalamazooribfest. com, all ages, $10 Teen Time: Chocolate Olympics, crafts & activities (registration required), 1:30 pm, Comstock Township Library, grades 6–12, FREE Meet the Author: Wong Herbert Yee, the author of Eek! There’s a Mouse in the House, 2 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, ages 4–8, FREE Tie Dye, create a colorful project, 2 pm, KPL-Alma Powell, grades 5–12, outdoors, FREE Thursdays in the Park, Honey Ear Trio performs, 6 pm, Bronson Park, 342-5059, kalamazooarts. org, all ages, FREE Canvases with Kara—Tween, a step-by-step process to paint a masterpiece (registration required), 6:30 pm, Portage Library, grades 3–5, FREE Friday, August 5

Preschool Storytime, a story & a craft, 10:15 am, Richland Community Library, ages 3–5, FREE

Ribfest, food, entertainment & music, 11 am, Arcadia Creek Festival Place, kalamazooribfest.com, all ages, $10 Art Hop, art & music at locations around Kalamazoo, 5–8 pm, 342-5059, kalamazooarts.org, all ages, FREE Summer Movie Night, Respect for Law displays at 7 pm; Star Wars: The Force Awakens at 9 pm, Celery Flats, 7335 Garden Lane, 329-4512, portagemi.gov, all ages, outdoors, FREE Magic of the Otherworld, journey to a magical place of other cultures, 8 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum Planetarium, all ages, $3 Movie: Cool Runnings, 8:45– 10:15 pm, Richland Township Park, 629-9085, richlandlibrary. org, all ages, outdoors, FREE Saturday, August 6

United Teens Talent Show, performance by the winners of the 2016 United Teens Talent competition, 8–10 pm, Kalamazoo Civic Auditorium, 329 S Park St, 342-5059, kalamazooarts.org, all ages, FREE Sunday, August 7

Reptile Weekend, hands-on encounters with reptiles & amphibians, 11 am–6 pm, Binder Park Zoo, all ages, regular admission Monday, August 8

Zumba, dance & kickboxing, 2 pm, KPL-Eastwood, ages 13 & up, FREE #TAB, join the Teen Advisory Board, 4 pm, KPL-Central, ages 6–12, FREE Musical Storytime, stories, songs & special guests, 6:30 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, all ages, FREE

Fitness in the Parks, free exercise program, 9–10 am, Upjohn Park, 1000 Walter St, 337-8295, kzooparks.org, all ages, outdoors, FREE

Tuesday, August 9

The Big Latch On 2016, support the breastfeeding community, 9–11 am, Bronson Park, facebook.com/ events/1539572883002818/, all ages, outdoors, FREE

Oddball Olympics, jump rope & relay race with water, 10 am, Portage Library, grades K–5, outdoors, FREE

Reptile Weekend, hands-on encounters with reptiles & amphibians, 9 am–6 pm, Binder Park Zoo, all ages, regular admission Kanoe the Kazoo, paddle your kayak or canoe along with a Kalamazoo Nature Center naturalist, 10 am–noon, Ramona Park, 8600 S Sprinkle Rd, 329-4522, portagemi.gov, all ages, outdoors, FREE 5th Annual LEGO Building Contest, enter original creations, 10 am–5 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, ages 0–5, FREE LEGO @ the Library, build, race & imagine, 10:30 am, KPL-Oshtemo, all ages, FREE Ribfest, food, entertainment & music, 11 am, Arcadia Creek Festival Place, kalamazooribfest.com, all ages, $10 Field Day, games & activities in the park, 11 am–12:30 pm, Galesburg-Charleston Memorial District Library, all ages, FREE The Enchanted Garden, dress up & experience gnomes, fairies & garden magic, 11 am–2 pm, Leila Arboretum, 928 W Michigan Ave, Battle Creek, 269-969-0270, lasgarden.org, all ages, outdoors, $2 First Saturday @ KPL, stories, activities & door prizes, 2–3:30 pm, KPL-Central, all ages, FREE

Baby & Toddler Program, stories, fingerplays & movement, 10 am, Portage Library, ages 0–23 mo, FREE

Stroller Stroll, walk on strollerfriendly paths, 10 am, Kalamazoo Nature Center, ages 0–5 with adult, outdoors, regular admission Capoeira for All, Afro-Brazilian martial art, 10 am & 6 pm, KPLAlma Powell, all ages, FREE The Bubble Man Returns, Ron Loyd educates & entertains with bubbles, 10:30 am, First Presbyterian Church, 8047 Church St, Richland, 629-9085, richlandlibrary.org, ages 3 & up, FREE Bubbleman Ron, watch bubble artistry, 1 pm, Galesburg Charleston Memorial District Library, all ages, FREE Paper Marbling, kids’ workshop creating a starbook/storybook (registration required), 1–3 pm, Kalamazoo Book Arts Center, 326 W Kalamazoo Ave, 3734938, kalbookarts.org, ages 6+, $15 Bookworms, discuss Fortunately, the Milk, by Neil Gaiman (registration required), 4:30 pm, KPLOshtemo, ages 6–11, FREE Speak It Forward Presents, empowering youth through spoken poetry, 4:30–5:30 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE Wednesday, August 10

Family Fun, interactive art, dance & stories, 10 am, Portage Library, all ages, FREE

fyiswmichigan.com •

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The Enchanted Garden, dress up & experience gnomes, fairies & garden magic, 10 am–noon, Leila Arboretum, 928 W Michigan Ave, Battle Creek, 269-969-0270, lasgarden.org, all ages, outdoors, $2 Challenger Experience, experience the simulation program & a spacecraft, 1 pm & 1:45 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum, ages 15 & under must be accompanied by adult 16 or older, $3 Game Central, video, board & card games, 1–2 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE Hands-on Happenings, enjoy arts, crafts & LEGOs & learn about the museum, 1–4 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum, all ages, FREE Cooking Camp with Chef K, author & chef Keneisha MorganDarden (registration required), 2 pm, KPL-Alma Powell, grades 5–12, FREE In My Backyard, children’s entertainer Fred Penner teaches through story & song, 2 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum Planetarium, all ages, $3 Spacepark 360, travel to an amusement park that spans the solar system, 2 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum Planetarium, all ages, $3 Voyage to Mars Mini-Mission, interactive, hands-on simulated space mission, 3 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum, all ages, $3 Summer Reading Party, spend tickets earned during the Summer Reading Program, 5:30–7:30 pm, Comstock Township Library, all ages, outdoors, FREE LEGO @ the Library, build, race & imagine, 6:30 pm, KPL-Washington Square, all ages, FREE Thursday, August 11

National Blueberry Festival, various activities for the family, downtown South Haven, blueberryfestival.com, all ages, outdoors, cost varies Creative Dance with Joy, jazz, modern, hip-hop & ballet, 10:30 am, KPL-Eastwood, ages 8–11, FREE An Evening Preschool Storytime, wear your pajamas for stories, songs & snack, 6:30 pm, Richland Community Library, all ages, FREE Friday, August 12

National Blueberry Festival, various activities for the family, downtown South Haven, blueberryfestival.com, all ages, outdoors, cost varies Preschool Storytime, a story & a craft, 10:15 am, Richland Community Library, ages 3–5, FREE

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26 • Aug/Sept 2016

Human Foosball Game, a lifesized game on a life-sized court (registration required), 1–2:30 pm, Village Square, Richland, 629-9085, richlandlibrary.org, tweens & teens, outdoors, FREE Saturday, August 13

National Blueberry Festival, various activities for the family, downtown South Haven, blueberryfestival.com, all ages, outdoors, cost varies Get Active Portage, youth triathlon & health fair, 8:30–11 am, Ramona Park, 8600 S Sprinkle Rd, 329-4522, kidsgetactive.us, ages 7–13, see website for details Fitness in the Parks, free exercise program, 9–10 am, Upjohn Park, 1000 Walter St, 337-8295, kzooparks.org, all ages, outdoors, FREE Fancy Pants Theater, songs, stories, games & pretend play (registration required), 10 am, KPLOshtemo, ages 3–6, FREE 5th Annual LEGO Building Contest, enter original creations, 10 am–5 pm, KPL-Central, all ages, FREE Art U, hands-on creativity, 11 am, Portage Library, all ages, FREE Fancy Pants Theater, songs, stories, games & pretend play (registration required), 11 am, KPLOshtemo, ages 6–11, FREE Nelson’s Wildlife Safari, handson natural science program, 11 am, Galesburg Charleston Memorial District Library, all ages, FREE PalletPalooza, a recycled pallet creation competition, 2–6 pm, WMU Recreation Center, Western Avenue & Oliver Street, 3820490, PalletSWMI.com, all ages, $20 per entry Sunday, August 14

National Blueberry Festival, various activities for the family, downtown South Haven, blueberryfestival.com, all ages, outdoors, cost varies Discover DeLano Farms, a guided hike & visit the animals & homestead, 2 pm, Kalamazoo Nature Center, all ages, outdoors, regular admission Music in the Park, art activities at 4:30 pm, Tony Fields Trio performs at 5:30 pm, Flesher Field, 3664 S 9th St, kpl.gov, all ages, FREE BBQ & Music by the Michigan Mafia String Band, a buffet-style barbecue dinner & concert (registration required), 6–8:30 pm, Pierce Cedar Creek Institute, 701 W Cloverdale Rd, Hastings, 7214190, cedarcreekinstitute.org, all ages, call for cost

Monday, August 15

Summer LEGO My Library, create & build with LEGOs, 10 am–1 pm, Portage Library, all ages, FREE Air Zoo Ocean Kids, learn about the ocean with music, puppets, & dramatic play (registration required), 10:30 am, KPL-Central, ages 3–6, FREE Air Zoo Ocean Odyssey, explore marine ecosystems & ocean animals (registration required), noon, KPL-Oshtemo, ages 6–11, FREE J-Pop Club, latest media & food from Japan, 4 pm, KPL-Central, grades 6–12, FREE Evening Farmyard & Wagon Rides, visit the animals & enjoy a wagon ride, 4–6 pm, Kalamazoo Nature Center, all ages, outdoors, regular admission, $2 for wagon ride Pokemon Party, battle with cards, DS games & Pokken Tournament, 5:30 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, grades 5–12, FREE Hike the Night, hike after dark with a Kalamazoo Nature Center naturalist, 9 pm, Eliason Nature Reserve, 1614 W Osterhout, Portage, 329-4522, portagemi.gov, all ages, outdoors, FREE Tuesday, August 16

Storyteller Chris Fascione, mime, juggling, comedy & storytelling, 11 am, KPL-Central, ages 0–11, FREE but ticket required G.Y.M. – Get Yourself Moving, hula hoops, animal movements, & playground favorites, 2 pm, KPL-Alma Powell, ages 6–11, FREE Storyteller Chris Fascione, mime, juggling, comedy & storytelling, 2 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, ages 0–11, FREE but ticket required Teen Game Club, video games, comics & snacks, 4 pm, Portage Library, grades 6–12, FREE College & Career Fair, investigate after-high-school options, 5:30 pm, KPL-Alma Powell, grades 5–12, FREE Wednesday, August 17

LEGO @ the Library, build, race & imagine, 2 pm, KPL-Alma Powell, all ages, FREE Thursday, August 18

Summer Crafternoons, create various projects (registration required), 1–2 pm, KPL-Eastwood, ages 6–11, FREE Minecraft Launch, join the world-building game, 2 pm, KPL-Washington Square, grades 5–12, FREE

Community Voices Summer Recital, a musical ensemble for teens & adults with mental & physical challenges, 3 pm, Crescendo Academy of Music, 359 S Kalamazoo Mall, Suite 12, 3456664, crescendoacademy.com, all ages, FREE Thursdays in the Park, singer Caesar performs, 6 pm, Bronson Park, 342-5059, kalamazooarts. org, all ages, FREE Movies Under the Stars, Jurassic World, 8 pm, Oshtemo Township Park, 7275 W Main St, 553-7980, kpl.gov, all ages, outdoors, FREE Friday, August 19

Music Hop, live music in multiple Kalamazoo venues, 7:30–10:30 pm, 349-1035, themusichop.com, all ages, FREE Saturday, August 20

Oshtemo Family Fun Day, community family fun, balloon rides, firetruck bucket rides & petting zoo, 8 am–4 pm, Flesher Field, 3664 S 9th St, 375-6215, all ages, outdoors, FREE Fancy Pants Theater, songs, stories, games & pretend play (registration required), 10 am, KPLOshtemo, ages 3–6, FREE LEGO @ the Library, build, race & imagine, 10:30 am, KPL-Central, all ages, FREE Sensory Showtimes, Pete’s Dragon, a welcoming environment for guests with special needs, 10:30 am, Celebration! Cinema, 6600 Ring Rd, 324-7469, celebrationcinema.com, all ages, regular admission Fancy Pants Theater, songs, stories, games & pretend play (registration required), 11 am, KPLOshtemo, ages 6–11, FREE Butterfly Day, about butterflies & flowers that attract them, 11 am–2 pm, Leila Arboretum, 928 W Michigan Ave, Battle Creek, 269969-0270, lasgarden.org, all ages, outdoors, $2 Eco Raft Race, race your raft built with eco-friendly materials, 4–6 pm, starting at Mayors’ Riverfront Park, 200 Mills St, 337-8295, kzooparks.org, ages 18 & up, $25 per vessel Sunday, August 21

Pollinators in Action, observe a beehive & search for pollinators, 2 pm, Kalamazoo Nature Center, all ages, outdoors, regular admission Crescendo Chamber Recital, 7:15 pm, Kiva Room, Friendship Village, 1400 N Drake Rd, 3456664, crescendoacademy.com, FREE

Monday, August 22

Summer Crafternoons, create various projects (registration required), 2–3 pm, KPL-Central, ages 6–11, FREE Improv, learn the basics of improv, 6:30 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE Musical Storytime, stories, songs & special guests, 6:30 pm, KPL-Central, all ages, FREE Monday Movies, Tortoise vs. Hare: The Rematch of the Century, 7:30–9 pm, GalesburgCharleston Memorial District Library, all ages, FREE Tuesday, August 23

Abracadabra! It’s Morning Magic, mystifying magic show, 10 am, Portage Library, all ages, FREE Stroller Stroll, walk on strollerfriendly paths, 10 am, Kalamazoo Nature Center, ages 0–5 with adult, outdoors, regular admission Speak It Forward Presents, empowering youth through spoken poetry, 4:30–5:30 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE College Application Prep, tips for getting organized & presenting yourself well in applications & essays, 6:30 pm, KPL-Central, grades 9–12, FREE

Zen Journaling, stress relief plus creativity, 6:30 pm, KPL-Oshtemo, grades 5–12, FREE Wednesday, August 24

Butterfly Day, learn about butterflies & flowers that attract them, 10 am–noon, Leila Arboretum, 928 W Michigan Ave, Battle Creek, 269-969-0270, lasgarden. org, all ages, outdoors, $2 Game Central, video, board & card games, 1–2 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE Cinema Shorts, watch the film Sesame Street Presents Abby in Wonderland (registration required), 2–3 pm, KPL-Central, all ages, FREE Teen LEGO Club, build with LEGOs, 4 pm, Portage Library, grades 6–12, FREE Storytime with Mr. Steve, stories, songs & rhymes, 6:30 pm, KPL-Washington Square, ages 0–6, FREE Thursday, August 25

LEGO @ the Library, build, race & imagine, 2 pm, KPL-Eastwood, all ages, FREE Bookworms, discuss Fortunately, the Milk, by Neil Gaiman (registration required), 4:30 pm, KPLCentral, ages 6–11, FREE Back-to-School Block Party, a family event to collect donations for Community in Schools Kids’ Closet, 6:30 pm, Kalamazoo Institute of Arts, 314 S Park St, 3497775, kiarts.org, all ages, FREE Friday, August 26

Richland Park Horse Trials, competition in dressage, cross country & show jumping, 8 am–5 pm, Richland Park, 8651 N 30th St, 629-5532, richlandpark.com, all ages, outdoors, $20 per vehicle for one day, $25 for multiple days Saturday, August 27

214-2172, kalamazooscottishfest. org, all ages, outdoors, FREE Nature Art Fair, nature-themed artists & vendors, 9 am–6 pm, Binder Park Zoo, all ages, outdoors, regular admission Kalamazoo Reptile & Exotic Pet Expo, buy, sell or trade, 10 am–3 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center Room A, 779-9851, all ages, $5 adults, $2 children, under 6 free Family Campout, campfire, night hike & sleep under the stars, 5 pm–noon on Aug 28, Kalamazoo Nature Center, all ages, outdoors, $35 member, $40 non-member, ages 3 & under free Sunday, August 28

Richland Park Horse Trials, competition in dressage, cross country & show jumping, 8 am–5 pm, Richland Park, 8651 N 30th St, 6295532, richlandpark.com, all ages, outdoors, $20 per vehicle for one day, $25 for multiple days Kalamazoo BB Gun & Airgun Show, airguns, toy guns & BB guns, 9 am–3 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center North, all ages, $3 adults, 12 & under free Nature Art Fair, nature-themed artists & vendors, 9 am–6 pm, Binder Park Zoo, all ages, outdoors, regular admission

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fyiswmichigan.com •

27 •

Mudfest, a giant mud pit & slip ‘n’ slide, learning stations & zip line, noon–5 pm, Kalamazoo Nature Center, all ages, outdoors, regular admission, fee for zip line

SEPTEMBER Saturday, September 3

LEGO @ the Library, build, race & imagine, 10:30 am, KPL-Oshtemo, kpl.gov, all ages, FREE Monday, September 5

One World, One Sky, Big Bird, Elmo & Hu Hu Zhu explore the sky, 2 pm, Kalamazoo Valley Museum Planetarium, all ages, $3 Friday, September 9

NSRA Street Rod Nationals North Plus, street rods, muscle cars & custom vehicles, 8 am–5 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center, 303-776-7841, nsra-usa. com, all ages, $15 adults, $5 ages 6–12, under 6 free Art Hop, art & music at locations around Kalamazoo, 5–8 pm, 342-5059, kalamazooarts.org, all ages, FREE Saturday, September 10

CONSIDER THE DIFFERENCE

YOU

COULD MAKE Become a Foster Parent

NSRA Street Rod Nationals North Plus, street rods, muscle cars & custom vehicles, 8:30 am–2 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center, 303-776-7841, nsrausa.com, all ages, $15 adults, $5 ages 6–12, under 6 free Tuesday, September 13

Speak It Forward Presents, empowering youth through spoken poetry, 4:30–5:30 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE Friday, September 16

Collingsworth Family, contemporary gospel group, 7 pm, Chenery Auditorium, 714 S Westnedge Ave, 337-0440, cheneryaud.com, all ages, $15–27 Saturday, September 17

Bethany.org/FosterCareKzoo

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28 • Aug/Sept 2016

Bangor Apple Festival, farmers’ market, kids’ activities, classic car show, vendors & entertainment, downtown Bangor, 350-3759, bangorapplefestival.com, all ages, outdoors, FREE

Home Town Sports Card Show, buy or trade sports cards, autographed items & memorabilia, 9 am–4 pm, The Overlook, Wings Event Center, 3600 Vanrick Dr, 345-1125, wingseventcenter. com, all ages, FREE Kalamazoo Reptile & Exotic Pet Expo, buy, sell or trade, 10 am–3 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center North, 779-9851, all ages, $5 adults, $2 children, under 6 free LEGO @ the Library, build, race & imagine, 10:30 am, KPL-Central, all ages, FREE Be Fit! Family Health Festival, health-encouraging activities for the family, 11 am–3 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center, 3494485, all ages, FREE GeekFest 2016, a comic book/ gaming/cosplay convention, 11 am–3 pm, Antwerp Activity Center, 24821 Front St, Mattawan, 329-4544, facebook.com/SWMGeekFest, school-age & older, FREE Mall City Harmonizers Diamond Jubilee Show, a cappella barbershop chorus, 7 pm, Dalton Center Recital Hall, WMU, 6158796, barbershopharmony.org, all ages, $15 Saturday, September 24

Kalamazoo Expo Mom-to-Mom Sale, gently used kids’ clothing, toys, books, furniture & maternity items, 9 am–1 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center, 903-5820, all ages, FREE Fall Expo & Craft Show, crafters, artists & vendors from across Michigan, 9 am–4 pm, Kalamazoo County Expo Center South, 9035820, all ages, FREE Scarecrows & Pumpkins, make a scarecrow & take home a pumpkin, 11 am–2 pm, Leila Arboretum, 928 W Michigan Ave, Battle Creek, 269-969-0270, lasgarden. org, all ages, outdoors, FREE Sunday, September 25

Bronson Children’s Hospital Walk & 5K Run, benefitting Southwest Michigan’s only children’s hospital, 11 am–3 pm, Bronson Methodist Hospital parking lot @ John & Lovell streets, 341-8100, bronsonhealth.com, all ages, outdoors, registration fee Tuesday, September 27

Speak It Forward Presents, empowering youth through spoken poetry, 4:30–5:30 pm, KPL-Central, grades 5–12, FREE

Family Man (continued from page 30) mend a food, she’s sure it’s going to be terrible. As I grow as a father, I’m beginning to recognize what my daughter responds to. She wants to be her own person and make her own decisions. She doesn’t want to be told what to do, but she does need guidance. I’ve realized that there’s nothing I can say that will ever have more impact than something I do. My wife is a creative artist. She never told my daughter she should try her hand at arts and crafts. My wife would just do them, and when my daughter would see her mom’s focus and enjoyment, she would get curious, ask to join, and my wife would let her. Now my daughter has this same focus when she does arts or crafts. In fact, the first time I heard my daughter mention that she might even consider playing soccer was when I recently brought home a troKPL_FYI_Fall_TheHub_2016Ad2.pdf 1

phy after the youth team I coach won a tournament. “Where did you get that trophy?” she asked. “I got it for winning a soccer tournament,” I told her. “Maybe one day I could win a trophy in soccer,” she said. “Maybe,” I said. And then, careful not to push, I casually added, “If you’re ever interested in playing, let me know.” I’ve been carrying this mentality with me of late. I run and work out a lot now — not just because it’s summer and the beach bus is leaving — but because I want my daughter to see that it’s important to me. “Whoa! You’re really sweaty,” she’ll remark when I walk in the door. “Did you go for a run?” “Yep,” I reply, knowing that the image of me coming in from a long run sweating through my shirt is 1,000 times more 6/27/16 3:37 PMpowerful than my telling

her about the importance of exercise while I stare at my iPhone. I stopped insisting she eat “at least two bites” of whatever vegetable was on her plate and just started eating a lot more vegetables myself. Now she’s addicted to kale salad. I’m finding the results favorable, but don’t get me wrong, this approach doesn’t work 100 percent of the time. And some things I’m just not going to spend the effort on. I’m not going to climb into bed at 8 p.m. with the hope that she’ll see my example and be willing to go to bed shortly after. Sometimes it’s just easier to yell, “It is almost an hour after your bedtime! Get in bed!” So she’ll see me stay up late, while I send her to bed at a reasonable hour. Because she doesn’t realize yet why that’s important for her: you have to get your rest if you’re going to grow up to be a soccer star.

kpl.gov/hub

the Ihub your digital gateway

CMY

Preserve the past. Create the future. fyiswmichigan.com •

29 •

Family Man FYI

Dad Doesn’t Know Best (Or Does He?) Brian Lam

David Miles

I was good at one sport growing up: soccer.

Not real good, but good. High school good, not college good. Anyway, when my daughter was of an age where she could kick a ball, I thought, “Here is an activity we can bond over. Here’s an activity I can give her guidance on.” My plan wasn’t to pressure her to be a standout or anything; I just wanted her to enjoy the game. “You need to try soccer,” I told her. “Daddy used to play, and we can play together.” It was about that moment that she decided soccer was her least favorite sport. When I took her to a summer camp so she could “at least try it,” she cried. When I watch soccer on TV, she boos. Not at the team I’m rooting against, but at the game itself. My wife and I asked her if there was a sport she wanted to participate in and she chose dance and gymnastics — two sports of which I am completely ignorant and can be of no assistance to her. •

30 • Aug/Sept 2016

“That looked like a dance move. Was that a dance move?” I’ll ask my wife at recitals. “Good jumping out there,” I’ll tell my daughter after gymnastics practice, realizing how lame it sounds. Even though she doesn’t play, I still coach youth soccer and enjoy it tremendously. I often run into parents with whom I played soccer growing up. Parents who were also “high school good.” Their kids love soccer. They spend time kicking around together on the fields before the game and they talk about kicking around together at home. I wonder if their kids just liked it, or if the parents said to them, “Hey! You’re playing soccer, get over it.” And then eventually the kids liked it. I know my daughter thinks the world of me. She tells me so all the time and lights up when I come home from work. Yet, soccer isn’t the only thing she pushes back on. If I recommend a movie, she has no interest. If I recom-

(continued on page 29)

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