Boys don’t cry

As a new generation matures, the time has come to cease judging men based off traditional masculine ideology

COMMENTARY BY ALIA GAMEZ, STAFF WRITER

Boys are raised to be commanding, strong and never to falter, while girls are taught to be meek and passive both physically and mentally. To be considered real men, boys must unreasonably show apathy and take part in traditionally masculine aesthetics.

If one dares to break away from the standard, they risk being ostracized by the people around them. Everything around us, from our methods of entertainment to our cultural communities, contributes to imposing harmful stereotypes. While some men are shifting towards freely expressing themselves, the long-lived pressure to conform to the misogynistic norm has left men afraid to be open, only further internalizing their feelings and limiting their growth.

Often, patriarchal values are acknowledged to socially affect women, but there has been minimal conversation of its internal effects on men. Recently popularized in the 2010s, toxic masculinity has become known as a term to describe the negativity that results from conforming to some traditionally male behaviors. These behaviors focus on the glorification of strength and dominance as the features of the ideal man, both physically and emotionally. This superficial cultural standard denies men the right to be sensible.

Normal human behavior, such as crying, is looked down upon, as any emotion that displays signs of weakness are considered the opposite of how a man should act. In a similar light, men who take part in what is considered to be societably female — such as wearing makeup — are often labeled as gay in a derogatory manner or ridiculed for being deviant.

In recent years, men have slowly begun breaking away from the stereotypes thrust upon them. Household names like Timothée Chalamet and Harry Styles can be found wearing jewelry, makeup, nail polish or even feminine clothing very often. Whether it be fashion week or a typical Tuesday, the pair are known for their eccentric outfits.

The stars have both spoken out about their dislike of traditional masculinity, alluding to the fact that there is not anything specific men need to take part in to be considered masculine. Styles’ and Chalamet’s popularity among youth holds a lot of power and is capable of being a major vessel of influence to redefine gender norms.

Across the globe as well, K-pop sets an example of how excessive masculinity is not required to be loved and accepted by the world. The recent popularization of breaking gender norms has started a trend that could have a lasting effect on societal standards.

“Guys shouldn’t be afraid of being judged and conforming to social standards from previous generations,” senior Thiago Abad-Sanchez said. “Gender is extremely subjective and arbitrary in nature, so redefining roles and expectations is nothing to worry about.”

Younger men are slowly becoming accustomed and open to new gender boundaries. As more experimental fashion tastes such as the gothic e-boy and streetwear become more common, boys are beginning to outgrow the traditionally expected t-shirts, cargo shorts and gym clothes. The freedom to wear expressive clothing has been long awaited for.

“I am very proud to see gender roles take a step into the inclusion of men with what is considered to be female,” senior Valeria Orjeala said. “I feel like most girls in our generation love people like Harry Styles and Jaden Smith, men who do not hate something inherently female.”

With masculinity’s distaste for emotion and need to prove dominance, the mindset that toxic masculinity produces can be fatal. According to the American Psychological Association, men of all ages and ethnicities are less likely to seek support regarding their mental state. Even though in many cases men deal with subjects such as depression, substance abuse and stressful life events, many do not seek help in order to prove their emotional strength.

“Society dislikes when men express themselves with their emotion,” junior David Caldera said. “I am thankful that people are starting to go against the norm.”

In a society that has constantly perpetuated a harmful ideal, moving on from tradition will be a long journey. Even though it may take time, preventing harm towards the future generations from lack of emotional support, fear of expressing themselves and violence against others will be worth the effort in the long run.