Gadfly
Gadfly. September 2013 Pop-Up Book Edition
Editors
Wisdom Akpan Gabe Newsham David Burke Giuseppe Vitellaro Gabe Miller Sam Fentress Nick Messina
Contributors Noah Weber Paul Daues
Special Thanks Dr. David Callon Ralph Scozzafava Snoop Lion Dr. Ed Kornfeld
“…our city is like a large horse which because of its size is inclined to be lazy and needs the stimulation of a gadfly… before long you will awake from your drowsing, and in annoyance take Anytus’s advice and swat me; and then you will go on sleeping.” -Socrates
What is Gadfly? So you have this chance to create an article or a video that will make people think. Now think of your favorite alto saxophonist. Take their surname and put it in a banana smoothie. Drink it up—quick—and let your pen/mouth/fingers/noses fly.
Concert Calendar September 9: Lucinda Williams—The Pageant September 14: Imagine Dragons—Verizon Amphitheater Michael Bublé—Scottrade Center September 15: Zedd—The Pageant September 16: Best Coast—The Firebird September 17: Mickey Hart Trio—The Pageant September 18: AFI—The Pageant September 19: GrandMothers of Invention—The Pageant September 20: Béla Fleck/Abigail Washburn—The Pageant September 20: Jason Aldean—Verizon Wireless Amphitheater September 21: Jazz/Blues Festival—Webster Groves September 22: Anita Jackson—The Sheldon September 23: Tom Byrne Group—BB’s Jazz & Blues September 24: Vampire Weekend—The Pageant September 25: DJ Shadow—2720 Cherokee September 26: Michael Franti—The Pageant September 27: Black Rebel Motorcycle Society—The Pageant September 28-29: Bassnectar—The Pageant September 29: Virucide—Fubar October 1: 9 Inch Nails—Chaifetz Arena October 1: California Guitar Trio—Old Rock House October 3: The Vanilla Beans—Schlafly Tap Room October 4: The Lumineers—Chaifetz Arena October 5: Sons of Ill Repute—Way Out Club October 6: Oblong Box—Fubar October 7: Gideon—Fubar October 8: Drake—The Pageant October 9: Mixtapes—The Firebird October 10: LP—The Pageant Nearly EVERY weekend: Jazz at the Bistro
Review
Metroid: Not Past Its Prime Paul Daues Deep within the planet Zebes, a lone figure stands in a dark, blue cave, one with purpose, with stoicism, and most notably, a kickass, Iron-Manish power suit. That figure is Samus Aran, bounty hunter by trade. This is the opening of Metroid. First of a fairly large and immensely popular game franchise, Metroid was released for the NES in 1986 by Nintendo. What could be described as a genre combination of Nintendo’s earlier hits, Mario and Legend of Zelda, this game fuses open-world exploration with 2D, platform-based game style. The plot is simple: you, Samus, are sent to destroy a species of monster called “metroids,” which are sort of like flying octopi who suck your energy out, and defeat the space pirates who are breeding them. Gameplay is fairly simple; you, the player, control Samus, whose main abilities are to jump and fire energy blasts from the suit’s arm-mounted cannon. Along the way, you can collect various power-ups hidden within the labyrinthine twists and turns of the game’s world. The objective is to defeat the two bosses and then face the final boss and escape the complex. Tough as it is, there are many aspects of this game that make it great. There are others that make it not great. Here are a few; GREAT!- there are a variety of different enemies to fight, from what look like flying cucumbers to little red rings to the metroids themselves. NOT GREAT!- None of those enemies are actual space pirates. Seriously, almost all the minor enemies are bugs, and the bosses (named Kraid and Ridely) are just Bowser on steroids and a weird purple dragon, respectively. Where did all the pirates go?! GREAT!- The score, which provides perfect ambience, loops smoothly and is fun to listen to. NOT GREAT!- The map is somewhat copy-paste. A lot of the monsters are identical in behavior to others and corridors can be repetitive. GREAT!- Plot twist! Samus is a girl! At the end of the game, her female physique is freed of its obfuscating facade. (Well, depending on how long it takes you to beat the game. 10+ hours makes her look away, as if to say, “You are just pathetic.”) Regardless of all detriments- Metroid is a dang fun game. It has a dark atmosphere, major replayability and edge-of-your-seat action that a lot of games don’t. I would recommend it to gamers of any age, experience, or interplanetary species.
Feature
Pencil Sharpening: Some Tips Noah Weber But it used to be different, you know? It used to be so great. I remember the days when I would walk out of Dr. Tai’s room different from what I was when I walked in. I remember the days when I would walk into that room with two dull pencils in my pocket and leave a changed man—the crisp point of the graphite a dangerous weapon to the impending page of homework ahead. The pencil sharpener in that room used to be so perfect. And to see that thing collapse all over itself these last three years—. There’s nothing quite so terrible. You know, there're some days when I walk into that room and I think maybe. Maybe it’ll work. Maybe it’ll be okay. But it isn’t okay. It’s never okay anymore. Here’s where to look for the real deal. These are the sharpeners that rise above the others: 1. By far the best sharpener in the school makes its home in Mr. Chura’s Russian room. Using the minimalist, one-hole approach, this smooth, clean sharpener is sure to deliver satisfaction every time. 2. The one in Mr. Baud’s room is a close second, but its location leaves a lot to be desired. For all of those lastthree-minutes-of-activity-period homework assignments, a sprint up to the physics lab isn’t going to cut it when the graphite goes down.
3. Making a rightful surge this past year into a very solid third place is the library sharpener. Going with the classic select-wheel approach, this marvel made drastic improvements in the offseason by increasing the strength of its rubber feet, thus eliminating its former pitfall of sliding around too much on the printer table. Honorary Mention: The math office provides a nice electric alternative for those seeking a more classy sharpening experience. At all costs, avoid: 1. Mr. George’s room’s sharpener. Don’t let the decorations deceive you: this sharpener will eat your pencil up. 2. Dr. Callon’s sharpener. Most of the English hallway has terrible sharpeners. Dr. Osburg’s in 206 isn’t so bad, though. 3. M107. No.