Free Word 701
gairrhydd Cardiff’s Student Weekly
THE JOKERS BACK FILM take a pledge with Nicholson
MEATY TOPIC FEATURES take on capitalism with the McLibel trial
Monday 15 October 2001
SNOOKER LOOPY GAMES try and find any merit in a snooker sim
INSIDE: YOUR FREE 7-DAY TV GUIDE AND COMPLETE CARDIFF LISTINGS
XPRESS JOY AT NOMINATIONS XPress Radio gain record number of nominations at Radio One’s Student Radio Awards By Kathryn Burden CARDIFF’S OFFICIAL STUDENT radio station, Xpress Radio, has gained an outstanding eight nominations for this year’s Radio One Student Radio Awards. The awards are the highlight of the student radio calendar, with only the very best of student radio talent across the country reaching the shortlist. For the first time, the nominations were announced simultaneously at six ‘It’s A Scream’ venues in Cardiff, Glasgow, Leeds, Leicester, Liverpool and London. Xpress Radio was nominated for Student Radio Station of the Year and New Media Innovation with individual Xpress reporters being nominated for the following categories: Laura Sykes and Lydia Spooner for Best Female, Jamie Dunbar for Best Male, Nick Simon and Jamie Dunbar for Best Newcomer and Gareth Griffiths for Best Specialist Music Programme with Dance Nation. Station manager Emma Gait-Carr
was delighted by the nominations, particularly the entry for Student Radio Station of the Year. She said, ‘It reflects the effort and dedication put in by everyone on the team, and how fruitful the training scheme we introduced last year has been. The Radio Station of the Year award is the most coveted and the most desirable award for any student station to win.’ She added, ‘It is fantastic to see student stations being recognised by the industry. It has been Rowland Hill’s vision to prove Xpress Radio’s credibility and potential, and it is now becoming a reality. My heart-felt thanks go out to him for giving Xpress Radio such a good start to the year.’ The awards, hosted on November 9 at the Alexandra Palace in London, received over 300 entries from a total of 38 member stations of the Student Radio Association. Out of the 17 entries that Xpress Radio submitted, eight were chosen for the final nominations after several stages of judging by the controllers of such stations as Radio One and Kiss FM.
Xpress Radio’s nearest rival with five nominations is Nottingham University. Nick Simon, nominated for best
newcomer, said, ‘It is very exciting. I tried not to expect a nomination but I was hopeful.’ When asked how he felt being up against fellow presenter Jamie Dunbar he responded, ‘Jamie and I are used to competing with each other. In the Gair Rhydd and XPress media awards last year we were up against each other and he won. Now it is my turn to level! Seriously though, it is great to have two nominations in one category, especially when there were so many entries.’ Jamie Dunbar echoed these sentiments, ‘It is a great opportunity for both of us. Just being nominated is fantastic and if one of us wins then it is all the better for Xpress Radio.’ Aaron Scullion, Chair of the Student Radio Association said, ‘The sheer number of entries for this year’s awards is testament to both the size of UK student radio and to the wealth of
talent working within it. I don’t envy the judges who have to choose between them. There will be a lot of tension and excitement on the night.’ The awards are in association with ‘It’s A Scream’; the national network of student focused pubs and clubs. Brand manager at ‘It’s A Scream’, Chris Moulson, said, ‘There is so much great student talent out there and we are very proud that we continue to be involved in an event that both recognises and encourages that talent.’ It is hopeful that some of the winners may be fortunate enough to follow in the footsteps of some illustrious predecessors like Kevin Hughes, now of BBC Radio Wales, and Alison Hume, presenter on Kiss 100. Xpress Radio will begin broadcasting across Cardiff on November 2 on 106.8 fm.
XPress team: Jamie Dunbar, Emma-Gait Carr, Lydia Spooner, Laura Sykes and Nick Simon with Kevin Hughes from Radio One
Security warning as female assaulted by James Bladon FEMALE STUDENTS are being warned to be extra vigilant following a terrifying ordeal for a young woman on Senghenydd Road. The woman, who is a student at Cardiff University was attacked as she walked home from Jive Hive in the early hours of Thursday morning.
At around 12.30 am, after crossing the footbridge from Park Place to SenghenyddRoad and making her way in to Ruthin Gardens she was approached by a stranger. The man grabbed her from behind, and attempted to remove her clothing. The attacker fled when he was disturbed when another group of people approached. Police are appealing for any information
in tracing the man, who is described as being pale skinned, in his early 20’s around, 5’7” tall, of a thin build, cleanly shaven and wearing a gold sleeper in his left ear. On the night of the incident he was wearing a baggy white t-shirt, with a logo on the left side and dark baggy jeans or trousers. Anyone who may have information on the attack is asked to contact either
University Security Operations Manager, Tony Lewis, or Cardiff Police CID on (02920) 20222111. In the wake of the incident Mr Lewis said ‘I would advise any female students to avoid walking home alone in the dark, and suggest that friends to look out for one another.’ He added, ‘Any female student finding themself alone on Park Place should not hesitate to come to the Security Centre.’
STUDENTS SUBJECT TO SAVAGE ATTACK IN CATHAYS – PAGE 3
2 ● News
Briefly... NUS Supports Wednesday sports NUS Wales have this week launched a campaign to ensure that Wednesday afternoons are kept free for all students and staff to participate in sporting activities. As a result of academic commitments Cardiff University’s NUS Wales Executive, Pete Goodman, believes that a significant number of staff and students, across Wales, are being prevented from taking part in Wednesday sports events. He said, ‘It is our aim to make sure Wednesday afternoons are kept for sport.’ Anybody wishing to support the campaign is invited to contact Pete on (02920) 375980 or e-mail goodmanp@cardiff.ac.uk
As clear as your conscience A RACY vodka ad from the popular ‘If Smirnoff made...’ series has been deemed offensive by the Advertising Standards Authority. The poster, showing a man sliding down a banister nude, bearing the slogan ‘If Smirnoff made painkillers’, received 47 complaints by people who believed they could see the man’s equipment
RAG loses rag with thief MEMBERS OF Cardiff University’s RAG society were furious after 16 bottles of vodka were stolen from their office in the Student’s Union last week. RAG, the ‘raising and giving’ society. were raising money for the Breast Cancer campaign featured in last week’s Gair Rhydd. In a letter to Gair Rhydd Naomi Dawkins the RAG chair, appealed to the better side of the thief and requested that he or she anonymously repayed the society £20 which they would give back to the Breast Cancer campaign.
gairrhydd Address: Gair Rhydd University Union Park Place Cardiff CF10 3QN Telephone: Editorial – (029) 2078 1434/436 Advertising – (029) 2078 1416 E-mail: ssugr1@cf.ac.uk Visitors: Find us on the 4th floor of the Students’ Union
Monday 15 October 2001, gairrhydd
Debating war in Cardiff By Dominic O’Neill STRONG DIFFERENCES in opinion were exchanged during a debate on the current war in Afghanistan in Cardiff union
REFUGEES: negative effects of war
last Friday. Both students and general public attended the debate which took place in the Great Hall. The event was organised by the South Wales Coalition to End the War, an alliance assisted by local representatives for Amnesty International, Liberty, CND Cymru and the Green Party. Tom McGarry, the President of the Students Union who chaired the debate said the event was intended for “educational purposes and for non-students to ask questions about the war”. Chris Norris, a Cardiff University philosophy lecturer, was the first speaker to give his views. The other speakers were Amin Barzanji from Cardiff Kurdish Society, Simon Wakefield, the Liberal Democrat Councillor for Cathays, and David Sharp, Labour
Party Councillor for Riverside. Chris Norris highlighted the dangers of “moral certitudes” in the US response, in which he said the ‘rule of war has been suspended’. Meanwhile, David Sharp said that while he was opposed to “carpet bombing” in Afghanistan, military action ‘has to be part of an overall strategy.’ Simon Wakefield went on to comment that any military action should be ‘limited, focused and proportionate’. He said he ‘hoped future generations will see September 11 as the first sign of a New World order with more concern for the third world.’ Amin Barzanji used his personal experiences in Northern Iraq in 1991 to comment on the events. He asserted that ‘we should act to stop
the creation of the likes of Bin Laden by providing an international platform for people to express their grievances.’ Royal Mail employee, Charlie Baulch, helped organise the debate. Speaking afterwards, he expressed his disappointment that the Liberal and Labour Councillors ‘did not offer any alternatives to war.’ The anti-war coalition has also campaigned to end the war by organising demonstrations and rallies in Cardiff following the national demonstration against war in London last Saturday. A recent poll by Radio 1 showed that the majority of students are against the attacks in Afghanistan. Over half the students interviewed expressed concerns about the possibilities of nuclear warfare or a chemical attack.
Sign of the times
National deaf awareness week focuses on profile of sign language Emma Blake Deaf awareness week begins this Monday with the aim to draw attention to the issues faced by deaf people. The week aims, in particular, to focus on raising the profile of British Sign Language within society. Sign language is used by a quarter of a million people across Britain but is not recognised as an official language. Deaf awareness week aims to bring this, and the prejudices faced by people with learning difficulties, to the attention of the public. Most of the problems faced by deaf people stem from their difficulty to communicate with words to the hearing world. Finding it difficult to follow a fastflowing conversation can leave a person with hearing difficulties feeling isolated and make social situations difficult to participate in. However, a study by Dr Oliver Sacks in 1989 on the interaction between people in an all-deaf community proved that, by using sign language instead of words deaf people can communicate just as well as those without hearing difficulties. Speaking at the time on his findings Dr Sacks said, ‘At the university most of the problems facing deaf people in everyday society didn’t exist.’ He continued, ‘Subjects
such as mathematics and even poetry were all signed, and the bars were full of people signing’ Cardiff University’s Students with Disabilities Officer, Natasha Hirst is keen that Cardiff students are made aware of Deaf Awareness Week. As one of the 8.7 British citizens with hearing difficulties Natasha understands only too well the problems faced by the hard of hearing. She said, ‘I went through the stage when I was younger of accidentally losing my hearing aids because I was embarrassed to wear them and be different from everyone. Eventually I realised that my hearing problems were not going to disappear and that it was other people’s attitudes towards deafness that needed to change.’ Part of the importance of Deaf Awareness week is to promote the increase of deaf facilities in films and the media. Already some television companies are using sign language in their programmes allowing deaf people to enjoy the same entertainment as everyone else. It is hoped that Deaf Awareness Week will encourage more companies to follow suit. Anyone wishing for further information on Deaf Awareness Week can contact Natasha Hirst on (029) 2034 4730 or email HirstN2@ cardiff.ac.uk
HANDS ON ART: Sign language is displayed through clay models.
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News ● 3
gairrhydd, Monday 15 October 2001
Best seller for student authors by Lydia Kirby
Surviving student life: the guide
TWO CARDIFF University Students spent the summer living the high life after publishing a book on surviving the difficulties of being a student. Jenny Hawkins and Lucy Clark, both 3rd year English Literature students, attended interviews and publicity campaigns across the country after publishing their innovative Student Survival Guide. The guide, published by How To Books, is the fastest book ever produced for freshers and has already sold over 5,000 copies. The duo decided to write the guide after
realising that there were no books on the market that offered freshers the things they really needed to know. Lucy Clark explained, ‘Our book is full of things we wish we’d known before we went to university, such as getting your first house and careers advice.’ After consulting their professor the girls wrote to several publishers with details of their idea. Within a few days How To Books contacted the girls asking them to supply two chapters of the novel. Reluctant at first to raise hopes of friends and family, Jenny and Lucy decided to keep the book a secret and spent three solid weeks
Students attacked by gang in Cathays Student sustains horiffic injuries in vicious attack by Liam Norman Two ex-Cardiff University students were viciously attacked by a group of three men and two women in Coburn Street last Saturday night. James Gwatkin and Lee Burdenuik, who both studied physics at Cardiff, were visiting friend and current student, Rhodri Jones and had decided to spend the night at the union. Lee and James decided to leave early so they could get some food on City Road and meet Rhodri at his residence in Coburn Street. On the way back they were confronted by a group of three men and two women said to be in their mid twenties. The visitors were singled out because of their English accents. They were shouted at and intimidated by the group on Coburn Street. The scene deteriorated into violence when both the ex-students were punched to the floor. Rhodri Jones spoke to Gair Rhydd about the incident as his friends had informed him. He said, ‘Lee was punched first and then James
was knocked to the ground and kicked.’ Both men were taken to casualty and James received 16 stitches to the area around his ear. Rhodri explained, ‘The medics at casualty couldn’t tell if the wound was from a bite or from being kicked by pointed shoes.’ Rhodri had looked out of his front room window after hearing a disturbance and had seen Lee who was in obvious distress. Rhodri continued, ‘When I went outside I could see the whole side of James’ head and face was covered in blood.’ Lee led Rhodri to the group who had attacked him but on confronting them about the attack Rhodri was told that his friends had shouted anti-Welsh abuse and had provoked them. Rhodri was unconvinced by this excuse and refused to believe the attack was provoked. He said, ‘The boys lived in Cardiff for five years and they love the place. They wouldn’t have done that.’ After a slight scuffle one of the assailants picked up a wine bottle and threatened the two friends. Fearing further attacks the men backed away from the group and headed home. Rhodri continued, ‘When we got back the emergency services were there. Apparently one of the women was caught and arrested.’
Gair Rhydd recognised by Suzanne Carter
THE SPOTLIGHT is once again focused on the dedicated and talented staff of Cardiff University’s Newspaper, Gair Rhydd. After the honour of two nominations in the Guardian Student Media Awards, the paper has extended its credibility further by being nominated for an additional and even more prestigious award, at the Independent Newspaper’s National Student Journalism Awards. The Independent Newspaper Award, which is sponsored by the National Union of Students, has nominated Gair Rhydd in the
category for Best Campaign. The campaign, which is also up for the same award in the Guardian Newspaper, was for the Bond Bank scheme, which aimed to regulate the bond between students and their landlord or housing agency and ensure that agencies could not unfairly withhold them from students. With the support of Welsh Assembly members, in particular Labour MP for Cardiff Central, Jon Owen Jones, Gair Rhydd were able to introduce a legislation to create a Bond Bank, which is now in its final stages and should be put into practice by 2002. Gair Rhydd Editor, Sarah
Hodson said, “I’m delighted to see that all the hard work and effort from all the staff over the last year has been recognised”. Gair Rhydd won the award for Best Campaign in 1999 when it contested the university’s summer examination timetable and managed to pressure the university into rescheduling several exams. The student paper, which has been in print since 1972, picked up the Guardian award for best college Newspaper in 1990 and 1991 The results of the Guardian and Independent Newspaper awards will be announced within the next few weeks.
writing the first two chapters. Jenny said, ‘We used to spend hours alone in our rooms much to the confusion of all our friends. We eventually told everyone once we’d signed the publishing contract’. The students spent the summer publicising the book, which is acclaimed to be the first of its kind. The girls appeared on Radio 1, Radio 2, BBC Wales, Red Dragon and in numerous newspapers and magazines both local and national. The girls also sent a copy of their book to Prince William who began his first term at St Andrews University last month and received a letter of thanks from the Prince. Pic: Jenni Blurton
COBURN STREET: Scene of the attack
All three friends were admitted to casualty and due to the severity of James’ wounds did not leave the UHW until eight o’clock in the morning on Saturday 29th September. James was left with two black eyes and signs of possible kidney damage, after what appeared to be a completely unprovoked and barbaric attack. Although attacks such as this are rare in Cardiff, students are being warned to take
extra care when returning home late at night and to avoid walking back alone. A representative from Cardiff Union security said, ‘ It is regretttable that such an attack occurred.’ He continued, ‘We advise students to be viligent at all times but especially at night when alcohol cause people to be more rowdy and more aggressive than they would otherwise be.’
Email scammers aim for Cardiff accounts
By Helen Butler
SEVERAL STUDENTS at Cardiff University have received fraudulent emails from people claiming to be in search of a ‘foreign business partner’. The two e-mails currently in circulation are believed to have been masterminded by the same organisation. The sender of one of the two e-mails claims to be ‘Barrister Ado Ibrahim’, legal adviser to Mr. Mohammed Abacha, whilst the other is allegedly a ‘Mr. Atu Atu’, the only son of a wealthy cocoa merchant. The emails attempt to persuade the recipient to enter into a business venture with them. The recipient is asked to provide details of a bank account to which the sender of the email
can invest a large sum of money then to invest the money in an appropriate scheme with the promise of receiving a considerable amount of the profit for their efforts later in the year. However, it is believed that the senders of the emails are criminals laundering money from unknown resources with the aim to con people into providing their bank account details. Cardiff University’s security communications manager, Tony Lewis, who is in liaison with Cardiff police in this matter, has warned students to be wary of such emails and not to respond to them and certainly not to send any confidential information by email. Students who receive such emails are advised to forward them on to Tony Lewis at Lewis@cardiff.ac.uk.
4 ● News
gairrhydd Editorial Staying safe This week in Cardiff has been characterised by the spate of attacks on students, especially in the predominantly student area of Cathays. As we all know, Cardiff is a very safe city, which is a reason why many of you chose to come to uni here. And, although we have two awful attacks to report on in this weeks Gair Rhydd, it does not necessarily mean that Cardiff is getting any more violent or unsafe. Although I am in no way suggesting that any of the attacks were provoked by the victims or deserved in any way, at least one of them occurred when the girl was walking home from the union on her own. Many of the crimes that are reported in these pages are partly attributable to the poor security and personal safety habits of students. It seems stupid to say it, but in their first time away from home students often forget that their Mum isn’t there to close their window before they go out or lock their door. Is is often the case that the message about looking after yourself and your possessions only comes home after you have been a victim of crime yourself. After finding myself in a potentially frightening situation walking on my own along Talybont cycle path one evening, I am now fully aware of the dangers and take care to protect myself. It is OK to look at situations like this with hindsight, and it for this reason why people like PC Bob and the staff in the Student Advice centre repeatedly go on about personal safety. It only takes one drunken moment and the front page story could have been something much worse. Sorry to sound like a nagging parent, but two victims of assault in the first two weeks of term are too many. I hope that there are no more front page stories like this one for a long time. However, I don’t mind reading more front pages about the success and hard work of Cardiff students, so I would like to send my congratulations to XPress on their eight nominations for the radio awards. It just goes to show that hard work and dedication does pay off.
Licence to bill
gairrhydd, Monday 15 October 2001
Students warned to get a TV licence as clamp down is ordered by Fran Pattison THERE IS to be a clamp down on TV licence evaders as the numbers caught without a licence is on the up. Despite hard hitting advertising campaigns to scare potential fraudsters, there are still huge numbers of people still with out a television license. Advertisements and posters show how easily TV signals can be traced through detector vans and hand-held devices. Addresses are then checked on a national database to determine which household has purchased a licence. However despite warnings, it seems that students especially are taking their chance and failing to adhere to current legislation. Using a
television without a licence is a criminal offence and carries a £1,000 fine. And on one day alone last week, Cardiff Magistrates dealt with 44 such cases - it is estimated that over 1,000 people per day are caught without valid licences. TV licensing law states that students who live in halls of residence must each have a separate licence for televisions used in their bedrooms. Similarly those living in shared accommodation must also have their own licences if they hold individual tenancy agreements. The cost of a TV licence is £109 per year for colour televisions and £36.50 for black and white. Students are however, then eligible for a three-month refund covering the
summer months when most return home. The government recently introduced free television licences for OAPs and it seems there is support for this to be extended to students. Jake Redson, a 4th year
Tuition fees on way out by Suzanne Carter AFTER THE announcement made by the Prime Minister concerning the abolition of tuition fees, the government has announced it will review student funding. The Westminster review follows a Welsh Assembly enquiry in to student debt, which identified a ‘mismatch between the vision and the reality of the government education policy’.
Teresa Rees, who chaired the investigation, recommended that an introduction of a basic grant of up to £1,500 for Welsh students in higher education. Rees also recommended that students should be allowed to pay their tuition fees after they have graduated rather than the existing ‘pay as you go’ system. It is hoped a new scheme would would alleviate student debt. Steve Brooks, President of the National Union of Students in Wales, said ‘We are delighted
by the news that the government has finally decided to review student funding. Although we’ve had an investigation here in Wales, many of the changes students want to see can only be enacted by Westminster.’ The NUS is also running a ‘Priced Out Pushed Out’ campaign, that is lobbying for the outright abolition of tuition fees. From November 13, students across Wales will take part in campus based action in support of the campaign.
TUC: Students are exploited at work
by Dominic O’Neill
A RECENT Trades Union Congress (TUC) report has concluded that students in temporary employment are not receiving the rights they are entitled to. In co-operation with the NUS, the trade union body is lobbying the government to include provision for equal pay and pensions in legislation next July. The NUS and TUC are also encouraging the government to include new laws
GAIR RHYDD OFFICE: we know about slave labour
for agency workers. NUS President Owain James said, ‘Ninety per cent of students now work at some point during their degree. As well as this having a detrimental effect on their studies, many students find they are being exploited.’ In a survey of two hundred workplaces in the UK, the TUC found that 47 per cent of temporary workers were getting paid less than permanent employees. The survey also showed that 25 per cent of temporary workers were not allowed sick leave and 14 per cent were not given holiday pay. John Monks, the TUC Secretary, commented that, ‘Many students are getting a raw deal.’ The TUC survey showed that the employees most likely to be on temporary contracts are women, under 30s and people from ethnic minorities. Simon a 2nd year student at Cardiff University reinforced the opinion of the NUS. He works in a Cardiff call centre to fund his studies and said, ‘You get the impression that employers are taking liberties with students’ he continued ‘But they have a lobster tight hold over us – we have no choice but to work.’
Mechanical Engineering student said: ‘I think it is an insult to ask students to stump up even more money for what is now a necessity in most households, especially when they are worse off than ever thanks to the abolition of grants. I won’t get
£3m for top BRASS by Sarah Gunn CARDIFF UNIVERSITY’S Government’s Economic and Social Research Council has been presented with a £3 million grant to support the creation of new and greater businesses for the 21st century. The funds represent the largest ever social sciences grant to a University in Wales. The substantial funds will finance the Business Relationships, Accountability, Sustainability and Society centre (BRASS). The BRASS centre is a joint venture between the University’s schools of Business, Law and City and Regional Planning, who aim to collaborate and develop the school’s existing expertise on issues of business communication, business ethics, company law and corporate reporting. Professor Ken Peattie, leader of the BRASS initiative, said, ‘The need for businesses to become more sustainable, more socially responsible and more accountable is widely acknowledged. The challenge for business is how to change for the better.’ Although the investment in to BRASS covers an initial five year period, it is hoped it should just mark the beginning of the University’s opportunity to contribute to the creation of more sustainable businesses.
News ● 5
gairrhydd, Monday 15 October 2001
Allies The Week Strike In Print Afghans Sioned Bevan and Eleri Cunningham round up the stories making the news in Britain and Wales. THE NEWS IN WALES gan Eleri Cunningham
Carchardai newydd Cymru GOBAITH ELFYN Llwyd, AS Meirionnydd yw gweld dau garchar newydd yng Nghymru. Yn ddiweddar bu’r Gwasanaeth Carchardai yn ystyried y posibilrwydd o adeiladu dau garchar, un yn y gogledd a’r llall yn y de. Mae Elfyn Llwyd yn awyddus i weld carcharorion dan glo yn lleol gan hwyluso’r drefn ymweld i’w teuluoedd. Gyda’r nifer o garcharoion o ogledd a chanolbarth Cymru yn aml yn cyrraedd pum cant hawdd fyddai cyfiawnhau adeiladu carchar yn y gogledd. Mae’r Gwasanaeth Carchardai wedi cydnabod hyn a dymuniad Elfyn Llwyd yw cael y carchar yn ei etholaeth ei hun. Byddai carchar o’r fath yn creu hyd at ddau gant o swyddi.
Y Deri Dan y Don MAE CWMDERI’n cael ei foddi! Os am weld ychydig o ddrama a llawer o ddwr trowch eich teledu ymlaen wrth i raglen deledu mwyaf poblogaidd Cymru ddioddef llifogydd yr wythnos hon. Mae cynhyrchwyr Pobol y Cwm yn awyddus i’r llifogydd fod yn un o straeon mwyaf dramatig yr opera sebon. Fydd y cymeriadau’n llwyddo i ddianc rhag y lli, neu fydd y sebon yn cael ei olchi i lawr y cwm unwaith ac am byth?
GERI: Corporal punishment
Soldier Spice by Sioned Bevan
gan Sioned Bevan
GERI HALLIWELL entertained British troops in a concert in the Oman desert last week. The special arena in the Dhofar desert dug out by the Royal Engineers saw more than 7,000 British troops assemble to hear the exSpice Girl sing. The concert also featured Steps and comedian Bobby Davro, and was dubbed “tonic for the troops”. Both the exercises and the concert had been planned before the events of September 11.
BU GERI Halliwell yn diddori aelodau’r fyddin Brydeinig yn anialwch Oman. Cafodd safle’r cyngerdd ei dyllu yn arbennig gan Beirianwyr y fyddin yn Dhofar, ac aeth dros 7,000 yno i glywed cyn aelod y Spice Girls yn canu. Roedd y band Steps a’r diddanwr Bobby Davro hefyd yn perfformio. Trefnwyd y cyngerdd ac ymarferion y fyddin yn Oman cyn erchyllterau Medi 11.
Hero Beckham secures Korea path by Eleri Cunningham DAVID BECKHAM had a nation on its feet after ensuring that England would be part of next year’s World Cup finals. With England 85 seconds away from a shock home defeat and the hands of Greece, captain Beckham rescued a nation of nervous armchair fans. With the prospect of a tricky play off looming Beckham’s leading by typical example, managed to bring England back to egality, with a breathtaking free kick. The Manchester United’s stars late strike, brought the score 2-2 and meant that England topped their qualifying group, edging Germany in to the runner up spot. The Germans will now face Ukraine in a two-leg play off. The Republic of Ireland have also secured themselves a play off spot. Wales and N. Ireland failed to qualify for the further stages of the World Cup. Despite a John
Hartson goal, enough to secure a 1-0 victory over Belarus, Wales had failed to amass enough points during the qualifying campaign.
gan Sioned Bevan
“MAE AMERICA wedi agor drws na allent fyth ei gau.” Dyma oedd neges arswydus cynrychiolydd Osama bin Laden o’r grp al-Qa’ida. Mae’r terfysgwyr am i’r byd wybod y byddant yn gorchymyn mwy o ymosodiadau ar awyrennau yn yr UDA a bod ganddynt ganoedd o wyr ifanc sy’n fodlon marw. Daeth y neges rai dyddiau ar ôl i America a Phrydain ddechrau ymosod ar Afghanistan. Yn ôl yr awdurdodau, maent wedi bod yn llwyddiant ac wedi sicrhau fod grym awyrennol y Taliban wedi ei ddinistrio. Dyma’r cam cyntaf yn y frwydr ‘Infinite Justice’ yn erbyn y Taliban ac Osama bin Laden. Nid oes neb yn
datgelu beth fydd y camau nesaf. Mae Tony Blair wedi datgan y bydd gwledydd eraill megis Iraq yn cael eu targedu yn y dyfodol. by Sioned Bevan “AMERICA HAS opened a door that will never be shut.” This is the chilling message to the world from Osama bin Laden’s alQa’ida. The terror network is threatening more attacks on the United States and is urging all Muslims to join in the war against American interests around the world. The horrifying message was received days after America and Britain began air strikes on Afghanistan. The strikes are reported to have targeted carefully
selected military sites and important Taliban buildings, including targets in the capital Kabul and the southern Afghanistan city of Kandahar. Where ‘Operation Infinite Justice’ goes from here is only being discussed in general terms by the authorities. Abdul Salam Zaeef, the Taliban ambassador to Pakistan described the attacks as “indiscriminate terror” and with Taliban cabinet declaring a holy war or jihad. Displays of growing anger at the attacks by the West were evident in neighbouring Pakistan, where thousands of anti-American protestors filled the streets of Quetta. Protesters burned shops and cinemas, as well as the local office of the United Nation’s Children’s Fund (UNICEF).
STALLS OCTOBER 2001 ALL DAY, ALL WEEK, 1ST FLOOR STUDENTS’ UNION
MON 15
• CD Stall • Crystal Stall TUES 16
• Big Peaks • Bookstall • Jewellery WED 17
• CD Stall • Marimba THURS 18
• Jewellery FRI 19
• Lancashire Textiles • Jewellery
www.cardiffstudents.com
CARDIFF UNIVERSITY STUDENTS’ UNION PRESENTS/ ADLONIANNAU UNDEB MYFYRWYR PRIFYSGOL CAERDYDD YN CYFLWYNO
FreshersAutumnBall
All building Event / Achlysur Adeilad Cyfan
Spin ‘em Eddy Arena:
Hard House
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GARETH GRIFFITHS LIL LAURA (One Mission) Silent Running Arena:
Drum and Bass
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Reprazents:
DJ SUV
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HIGH CONTRAST Hospital Records MC GUYVOR Sumo Arena:
Electric Funk
STANTON WARRIORS
KUNG-FURY/WEST ONE Junction Bar:
Hip Hop/Breaks
HUSTLER ALLSTARS
Thurs 18thOct2001
Tickets £10 adv from box office / swyddfa docynnau: 029 20781458 2am Licence / 9pm-2am / NUS and guests only / No dress code PLEASE BUY EARLY TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT THIS EVENT WILL SELL OUT
Letters ● 7
gairrhydd, Monday 7 October 2001
Letter of the week The writer of this week’s Letter of the Week wins a replica pair of Teddy Sheringham’s magic eyebrows. Dear Gair Rhydd, Bloody marvellous. No sooner have I started my final year of study than the government start talking about abolishing tuition fees, since they now admit that they are ‘a barrier to higher education.’ Is this not exactly what student bodies have been saying ever since the evil plan was first hatched more than five years ago? Or have the government decided that they’ve stolen enough of our cash for the time being? Why can’t Blair and his chums accept that education is fundamental to the functioning of a democratic nation, and try to actually encourage people into further education, rather than making the whole process a financial nightmare? Yours, Maria Whitlock Final Year Student Lettersdesk says: Indeed, the government have made a complete balls-up of their education policies, but at least now they can admit to it. It would be nice to feel pleased about recent developments on principle, even if the majority of current students will not see the benefits of any legislation changes. However, neither of the reform schemes being considered as replacements seem particularly inspiring, what with talk of graduate taxes and the like. What do people think? Have your say.
TV Slick Dear Gair Rhydd,
I am writing to thank you for the best TV guide I have ever read. The comments on the TV programmes are both funny and honest, something that most TV guides forget to be. The best thing however, is that I don't have to buy The Sun on Saturday to get a guide and so I save 40p a week. In a month I will have enough money for a pint in the Tafarn. Excellent. Yours, Paul
P.S. I saw Maureen from Driving School in town. Does that make me famous?
Lettersdesk says: The TV listings editor looks suitably smug, and no, Paul, it doesn’t.
Identity Crisis Dear Gair Rhydd, During enrolment this year, I noticed something that disgusted me. Several of the other students nearby were clutching their enrolment forms, and as I nosily strained to see them, I noticed that a large number of them had, in the nationality box, written ‘Welsh’. (Before you tell me that it was worse last year with the census and all that, I was around, and that disgusted me too, but it was compounded when I saw students guilty of the same crime). This is
utter rubbish. Welsh people, you may well be 'Welsh', I don't really care. But your nationality IS, unarguably, BRITISH. At the time, I considered changing the nationality on my form to read ‘Surrey’; the boundary is equally arbitrary, but didn't, because I refuse to degrade myself to a similar level. Whilst I appreciate this will aggravate many, I feel that it has to be said, because proud identity of this kind is a dangerous thing. I have been shunned for being 'arrogant' on more than one occasion, when all I have said was that I was from England. STOP THE MINDLESS NATIONALISM (for want of a better word). Yours, Non - Welsh alien P.S. In the interests of diplomacy, I have included a translation: Pendant l'enlistement de cette annee, j'ai vu quelque chose qui m'a beaucoup degoute. Plusieurs des autres etudiants pres de moi tenaient leurs fiches, et quand j'ai essaye des les lire, j'ai constate que pa peu d'entre eux ont ecrit "gallois" dans la biote titre 'nationalite'........... Lettersdesk says: I can’t help thinking someone’s being deliberately controversial here. In case it escaped your attention, you chose to attend a University in Wales, and as such should be prepared to tolerate the ‘Mindless Nationalism’ which ‘disgusts’ you so. And one of the two official languages of the country you inhabit is Welsh, and not french, so your translation is as irrelevant as it is unfunny.
Bookworms Beware! Dear Gair Rhydd, This is just a word of warning about the Blackwell’s book shop at the foot of the Union. Just because it is situated within the Student
Union, doesn’t mean that its prices are competitive. Several of the items on my booklist are available elsewhere in Cardiff at lower prices, sometimes as much as 50% lower. It was only by chance that I discovered this, so I would advise people to shop around before shelling out vast sums unnecessarily, Yours, Carla O’Driscoll
Gunned Down Dear Gair Ryhdd, I am writing to complain about Ed Holmes’ cynical parodying of the great Top Gun in last week’s edition of “Dolly-wood” (GR 700). Such mockery of this great artistic icon of the 20th century is tantamount to blasphemy. And casting the wonderful Cruise as bloody Pikachu? What was he thinking? Pikachu is meek, unassuming and mute, whereas Maverick is arrogant, abrasive and excessively talkative. Hey, your body’s writing cheques that your body can’t cash. I only hope that whoever the hapless Holmes picks on next time will be treated more respectfully. Yours, Goose P.S. Slider . . . you stink.
Card Games Dear Gair Rhydd, Despite not yet being comparable to to a Wednesday night at Jive, my enrolment was also a pleasantly surprising affair and showed considerable planning by the anonymous bods who have to do these things. Nonetheless I was disappointed to find that having been charged anything up to £20 to join a sports club, I was then asked to contribute another pound of my hard-earned summer job money to the coffers of the Union to pay for an AU card. I assume this only covers the costs of printing the cards? It is, I admit,
lovely to have a card of comparable quality to the University ID cards, especially given it has a bar code, though for what purpose I’m not sure. In previous years the cards have been free, not involved massive queues to get your photo taken, and I can’t recall ever showing mine to anyone anyway. Still, at least it makes my wallet look deceptively fatter! Laters, Richard Lee-Smith
Mature Matters Dear Gair Ryhdd,
Just a few thoughts at the beginning of a new semester. Mature students make up quite a large proportion of the student body. . .or so we are told. But how do we find each other? Once again there was no ‘mature’ student representation at the Freshers’ Week, no invites for drinkies or pub crawls. Many of us are juggling families, jobs and finances, so hanging out in the Tafarn or Solus until the wee small hours just isn’t on. We are scattered around many faculties so distinguishing us from staff can sometimes be difficult. A tip here: the staff can generally afford better shoes and some of them even have parking spaces! Starting at uni can be a very lonely, disconcerting experience. For many of us it’s our first step back into the world of education and confidence can be at a bit of a low ebb. Our mates who are living in the parallel universe of salaried employment don’t understand. They think we are taking 3 years out to have a doss. So how about getting together for some socialising? Anyone who would like to meet up for a pint on Wednesdays, look for the “wrinklies” in the Taf from 1pm. Cheers, 3rd Year Carbs
Send your letters in to us at Gair Rhydd, Students’ Union, Park Place, CF10 3QN or e-mail SSUGR1@CARDIFF.AC.UK. Gair Rhydd will attempt to print any letter sent in, but apologises for those that do not make it in due to space restrictions. The views expressed in these letters are not necessarily those of the newspaper or the editor.
Crossword Ladies and Gentlemen, the attraction you’ve all been waiting for, the world-famous GR crossword. ACROSS: 7. Brightly-coloured talking bird (6) 8. Charge on oath (6) 9. Former (3) 10. Type of melon (4) 11. List of names (4) 12. Zany (3) 14. Space within the top of a house (5) 17. Alas and ____, oh dear (5) 19. Assumed name (5) 20. Prejudiced person (5) 22. In a bashful way (5) 24. Exercise room (3) 26. Heroic tale (4) 28. Unchanged (4) 29. Instrument for boring small holes (3) 30. Intelligent or gleaming (6) 31. Rectangular (6) DOWN: 1. Savoury meatball (6)
2. Broad smile (4) 3. Turbulent weather (5) 4. Lost brightness (5) 5. Partly open (4) 6. Cavort (6) 13. Friendship (5) 15. Strip of paper used as a label (3) 16. Feline animal (3) 17. Chump (3) 18. Whichever one (3) 21. Make known (6) 23. Thin plate (6) 24. Framework of bars for containing a fire (5) 25. Large succulent fruit (5) 27. Barred enclosure (4) 28. Offer of goods at reduced prices (4) Send your answers to the gair rhydd office and the winner will be announced in the next issue. We had no correct answers for the last issue, so this week is a rollover. But no, you, don’t get two prizes. Cheeky. 700’s solution: ACROSS: 3.Our; 7.Lollop; 8.Orator; 9.Hesitate; 10.Melt; 11.Attune; 12.Toiler; 15.Direct; 18.Deface; 20.Fill; 22.Insomnia; 23.Plural; 24.Grumpy; 25.Eve. DOWN: 1.Modest; 2.Altitude; 3.Opiate; 4.Rodent; 5.Warm; 6.Collie; 11.And; 13.Infamous; 14.Rye; 16.Icicle; 17.Trife; 18.Dosage; 19.Crispy; 21.Lurk.
Name:_____________________________________________ E-mail:_____________________________________________ Without love, where would we be now?________________________________ ________________________________________________________________
This week’s winner wins a meal for two at The Roath Tandoori & Balti Restaurant
cardiff university students’ union
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Competitions ● 09
gairrhydd, Monday 15 October 2001
The ultimate in...
THIS WEEK: OPEN YOUR ROCK CHAKRA
Get with it Grandad
I’M FINDING it increasingly difficult to keep up with the latest developments on the music scene. I think it’s largely to do with my upbringing on a cloying diet of Radio 2. I remember when I was just a tiny urchin clinging to my mother’s fur, sleeping peacefully to the earthy drone of Terry Wogan murmuring his approval of some dusty Manfred Mann LP. While an interest in this kind of music gives a chap something to talk to his nan about, it doesn’t give him the same kind of street cred as, say, a drug habit. This is an important lesson for any kids out there who were
thinking of listening to tonight’s biography of the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band. The effect of all these hours listening to the best that the world of light entertainment has to offer, is clear. Spending the best part of two decades suckling at Alan Freeman’s teat, my taste in music now seems limited to bands whose lack of original members is matched only by their lack of original teeth. And can I just say for the record that Top of the Pops 2 is about the best music show on telly, apart from Songs of Praise. I think it’s time that I get with the now and try to expand my music taste to include something a bit more hardcore. What better way to do this than by joining the 100,000 maladjusted kids who read Rock Sound magazine every week? (Competitions Page: Corporate Whore and Proud Of It). Rock Sound can smugly claim a 19.6% rise in sales at a time when the music magazine industry is, frankly, a bit crap. Rock Sound already has a reputation for giving away free CDs with gay abandon, which more than makes up for the lack of nudy pics. And this is the crux, the nub, if you will, of this week’s competition. In a fit of heartbreaking generosity, the modern-day heroes at Rock Sound are SIT IN DISCOUNT offering you, via the mercy (Excludes Drinks and Desserts) of Gair Rhydd, five highly desirable Rock Sound goodie bags. Each sack of TAKE-AWAY
mirth contains a lighter, bottle opener, stickers, a t-shirt, back issues of the magazine and a selection of CDs. I’m sad to report that there’s no Bobby Womack amongst the CDs on offer, but there you are. This seems just the thing to drag sad Baby Boom/Generation Next hybrids like me out of the seventies and into the modern world. Of course, if you already wear black t-shirts with frightening pictures and have a pierced eyeball then these goodie bags will be right up your street anyway. ROCK SOUND: Bags of attitude
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gairrhydd Drop your answers in to the Gair Rhydd office on the fourth floor of the Students’ Union. Or you can send them to: Gair Rhydd, Cardiff University Students’ Union, Park Place, Cardiff CF10 3QN Alternatively, e-mail your answers and contact details to: ssugr1@cardiff.ac.uk Win this stuff or I’ll have to keep it for myself.
Does it rock? Not ‘arf. To get your black nail-varnished hands on one of these goodie bags, answer me this cunning poser. What is the name of Slipknot’s new album? A: Idaho B: Iowa C: Ohio
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Comment ● 10
gairrhydd, Monday 15 October 2001
Comment Comment A
The war of the words
t the Labour Party Conference Jack Straw became the latest person to warn of the dangers of ‘appeasement’ in the current crisis with bin Laden. We would wholly delude ourselves, he said, if we were to try to negotiate and reason with our enemies, just as the Chamberlainite ‘appeasers’ of the 1930s had deluded themselves. I think it is time to stand up for ‘appeasement’, a policy which sought peace in a fragile world, yet which has come to be demonised in contemporary imagination. It’s easy to lampoon the British and French ‘appeasers’ of the 1930s because we have hindsight to prove them wrong: they were deluded, Hitler would not be satisfied. We seem also to have accepted Winston Churchill’s history of the period as gospel truth. But at that time Churchill was a fringe maverick with no hope of political office: when Chamberlain waved the piece of paper which he thought heralded ‘peace in our time’, almost everyone in the country supported him. Furthermore, Chamberlain’s policy of negotiation with Hitler did not mean peace at any cost – when Hitler’s threat became clear, it was Chamberlain who ended the policy, Chamberlain who declared war on Germany and Chamberlain who brought Churchill out of the political wilderness and into the cabinet. So Foreign Secretary Mr.Straw
lambasts negotiation with modern successfully. terrorists as a venture akin to the Chamberlain’s policy cannot really be appeasement of the 1930s. Are criticised. He tried negotiation until Hitler appeasement and negotiation the same proved himself to be in the wrong, and thing? then he embarked upon a morally The word ‘appeasement’ was used by justifiable war, an accolade which few (if Chamberlain’s critics to discredit his any) other wars can claim. negotiations with Hitler by suggesting that they were designed to help A unilateral decision that the Nazis. But Chamberlain and most negotiation and appeasement are of the country saw wrong is a renunciation of anyone these negotiations as else’s right to believe anything an attempt to answer except what we ourselves believe: possibly legitimate it is a renunciation of peace German grievances in order to avert the horrors of a second international war. We have forgotten – or If ‘appeasement’ is substituted for perhaps never known – how horrendous ‘negotiation’ and certain other words in war is, something the 1914-18 the rest of this article, how different will generation could never forget. the argument become? Northern Ireland And what of the alternatives: is a case in point. isolationism or war? Isolationism was There, the peace process impossible and Churchill suggested war. (appeasement) began with unofficial and Churchill would have brought the then official meetings with the IRA and Second World War forward by a few Sinn Fein, groups that many loyalists years. Since the two strongest Allied equate with the Nazis or the Taliban. So countries entered the war because of when John Major legalised the events unrelated to Britain, this transmission of Jerry Adams’ voice; hypothetical early start would not have when Tony Blair shook hands with the led to an early finish: the war would two Sinn Fein MPs in Downing Street; simply have lasted longer. And if peace when cross-border bodies were set up had been abandoned so readily Britain and when power was devolved into the could hardly have claimed the moral hands of erstwhile ‘terrorists’ the British highground which it occupied so Government became an ‘appeaser’.
ike most students in evening couch potato mode, last Sunday I watched Pop Idol while curled up on my sofa and found it rather entertaining. It seems this nation can produce a little talent and some may argue that Pete Waterman had the outburst from Mr. Angry coming, judging from his less-than-kindly comments on pop wannabes with less-than-pleasant voices, let alone the fact that his music industry power unleashed the likes of Steps upon us. But what did scare me was how they asked one aspiring munchkin if they would go and see their bank manager dressed like that to ask for a loan of £1 million, because that’s effectively what they are doing. To a humble student now in her fourth year, any amount of money like that simply whistled past me as I doubt a sum a fraction of that size would ever find itself in my bank account. Yet to music industry movers and shakers it would just be peanuts. The artists at the top of the industry know they have the potential and track record of sales to demand salaries that would fund small countries. Add this to the weekly pay packet of your average Premiership footballer, and the chances of the recipient remembering the figures of people who
starve to death every second throughout the world, and the huge numbers of people murdered because of their unshaking faith in their religion, may just pale into insignificance when the prospect of several mansions dotted around the world and the bright lights of a celebrity lifestyle beckon. After all, it’s not as these events usually happen right on their doorstep. I’m not saying that all celebrities have it easy – some do use their status as pulling power and in doing so can generate amounts of money that would take the can-rattlers on Queen Street light years to achieve. But when this amount of money is lavished on someone with the aim of nurturing them into the limelight, parading them in front of wide-eyed youngsters and reaping millions from what is essentially a great deal of lipgloss and clever studio production, I don’t think I’m alone in wondering who is going to stand up and get our lessfortunate brothers and sisters in the rest of this spiralling nation a better quality of life. Let alone think about doing something that could have saved those who died needlessly whilst you’ve been reading this.
“ ”
Yet all this was done with the best of intentions and in an attempt to remedy the horrendous civil strife that had scarred that region for thirty years. When the Government doubts the good intentions of Sinn Fein it can freeze the policy just as Chamberlain could cease the policy of appeasementnegotiation and embark on war when he stopped trusting the good intentions of Hitler. Northern Ireland is a product of two communities apparently irreconcilable in their differences, yet the process of negotiation-appeasement has nevertheless produced a glimmer of hope of reconciliation, even if it does now look more fragile than ever. Appeasement-negotiation is unpopular for both sides – all compromises involve sacrifice – yet without it there can be no peace. A unilateral decision that negotiation is wrong is a renunciation of anyone else’s right to believe anything except what we ourselves believe: it is a renunciation of peace. War is never satisfactory because the majority of its victims are never responsible, so we should at least try to negotiate before bringing out the guns. And please, let’s stop criticising Chamberlain for trying to prevent the bloodiest war in human history.
The price of fame Halliwell L A
Ceri Ashton
James Lewis
Hell
cloud of uncertainty lurks over our spot for Geri to pose for pics wearing a tiny white bikini. Gosh, how racy these heads, as America launches morale-boosting efforts have become. action against Afghanistan. One would never catch Forties But the other week, troops in Oman sweetheart Dame Vera frolicking around took a welcome break from their duties in the surf. to enjoy an evening of entertainment as Using celebrities to the ambassador of raise spirits seems to be encouragement herself, a popular choice. Geri Halliwell, flew out to Recently, many perform in concert. Hollywood starlets joined Far from a low-key forces to raise funds for affair, a huge crater was the victims of New York. dug to provide a Even Julia Roberts makeshift arena – now donated $2 million of her nicknamed “Halliwell Hill” own cash to the cause. – and over 8,000 forces GERI: Hello, Sailor! Obviously, this personnel turned up. expression of generosity A dilemma occurred at and kindness is a good PR move but the one point however, when organisers event was dealt with sensitively, realised that Halliwell’s performance demonstrating how acts of terrorism would clash with England’s World Cup affect us all. qualifier against Greece. Imagining the Another concert has been arranged worst that could happen – people for the UK which will combine the efforts preferring footie over Raining Men – the schedule was reshuffled. Phew! Now the of chart-toppers Steps and comedian Bobby Davro. Perhaps the finale will be crowd could be completely dazzled by a karaoke rendition of We’ll Meet Again? Geri’s rigorous yoga routine as she mimed Scream if You Want to go Faster. Hmm. Celebrities do convey a certain The ex-Spice, not satisfied with having sparkle, but Britain surely needs to a crater named after her and troops export talent of an A-list calibre, travelling for eight hours to watch the otherwise these morale-boosting show, demanded more. And so a top crusades will be a weary exercise. hotel was on the agenda. All is forgiven though, since the beach Lori White near the Hilton in Salalah was an ideal
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THE BIG RED HOUSE P
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Film: Win tickets to see American Pie 2
Film look at the career of Sean Penn
Games review Snooker 2000
Jack’s Back!
Film check out The Pledge
American Pie 2 • The Pledge • X-Men 2 • Basil Brush • Vampire Hunter’s Handbook Inside: Get There! The ultimate guide to Cardiff and beyond!
Contents
02. Get There Clubs! Pubs! Gigs! Cinema! And Zeus. Everything you need to plan your perfect night out.
04. Arts
Arts get jazzy with the Benn Chatsworthy Quartet and look at Flight exhibition at the National Museum.
05. Books
Books review the life in print of Ernest Hemingway and get creepy with vampires.
06. Film
Film get sticky with the new American Pie film an review the film writers favourite films.
09. Music
Interview with gloommeisters Elbow and young pretenders Goldrush.
13. Games Games try to get over the boredom of World Championship Snooker and Championship Manager.
15. TV Guide
Want a useful guide to what’s on TV this week? Then buy the Radio Times. We want a laugh.
GRiP Editor Sarah Hodson GRiP Editor John Bayley Arts Lizzie Brown and LaDonna Hall Books D.C. Gates Film Jonathan Steven Games James Morley and Chris Faires Music Gemma Curtis and Maria Lane Get There Luke Holland TV Listings Charlotte Martyn, Noel Gardner, Nick Harrison GRiP needs your help! We are overworked and losing our minds. Visit our media penthouse on the 4th floor of the Union or • E-mail ssugr1@cardiff.ac.uk • Hear us speak 029 2078 1434/6
Get There
02
E
ver found yourself, alone, in front of the TV on a Friday night, unsure of what to do and where to go in the sprawling metropolis that is Cardiff? No, me neither. On the off chance that some people have, though, here are the listings. Any Society types wishing to advertise an event are more than welcome to, by dropping a line to the Gair Rhydd office, or e-mailing us at ssugr1@cf.ac.uk, putting Listings as the subject, by noon Wednesday.
Union Yes, I know that bright lights of Cardiff city centre can prove to be something of a draw, but let us not forget just what a thigh slappingly good time we can all have in our very own Student’s Union! As well as the renowned charms of the Taf, feast your eyes on this little lot....
Monday 15/10
Fun Factory @ Solus 9pm, free. With ‘Beat the Clock’ promotions running from 9-11pm.
Tuesday 16/10
Comedy Club @ Solus 9pm, £3. Andy Zaltzman, hailed by The Observer as ‘...a genius in the making’, makes his Cardiff debut. Sounds good to us.
Wednesday 17/10
Jive Hive @ Solus 9pm-1am, £2.50. The midweek look back in time with loads of ‘60s and ‘70s tunes for all you sports fans to go crazy to.
Thursday 18/10
Freshers Ball @ The Whole Bloody Union! ‘Til 2am, £10 tickets in advance. A bit special, this one. Three arenas, a galaxy of DJ’ing talent and a 2am drinks license- all for a tenner. Fergie, Grooverider, The Stanton Warriors, Hustler AllStars, a few of the One Mission crew- the list goes on. Tickets are expected to fly out at a suitably fast speed, so buy yours now!
Friday 19/10
Lashtastic @ Solus 9pm, £2. Drink-friendly cheese abounds. People drink, dance, smile and occasionally vomit. Mine’s a large one.
Saturday 20/10
Disco Stu 70’s Night @ Solus If anyone can make a 70’s night worth going to, it’s that cheeky Disco Stu. Details were sketchy as we went to press, but expect the usual mixture of drink, costumes, sex and... drink.
Sunday 21/10
Java @ Seren Las (Coffee *1) 7-11pm, Free Entry. Suitably chilled Sunday shindig, with the Hustler AllStars seal of approval. Wine less than a fiver a bottle, and liquor only £1 a shot. Andy Loveless mans the decks with his usual flair, and this week a live jazz band rounds things off. Cor blimey!
Coming up....
Shed Seven: Monday, 22nd October Tickets: £12.50 adv. They’ve been around longer than anyone can remember, written off by the music press on a regular basis, but somehow Shed Seven still pull the crowds. Trendy they may not be, but go along and you’ll be amazed at the number of songs you not only recognise, but actually like. And it keeps Rick Witter off the streets.
Clubbing Monday 15/10
Rational Thinking @ The End... 8pm-11pm. Drum ‘n’ Bass on a Monday. Great. Big Jugs @ Bar Med ‘Til 11.30pm. Hilariously named two-for-one night. Guru Vibrations @ Berlins 9pm-2am. Soul, funk, hip-hop and, er, 80’s. NUS only. One Mission @ Cafe Calcio 8pm til late. Cracking night, cracking venue. Cheese on Toast @ Cuba 9pm-2am, Free b4 10pm. Student night, obviously. MAD @ Dylan’s 8pm-1am. Well worth a look. Maybe. Or not. At all. Exit Club Gay venue. Chart and Dance. Fantasy Lounge Erotic dancing! Pole dancing! Lap dancing! Sad! Student ‘Night Fever’ @ Flares Til 2am. £1 drinks all night. Salsa Classes @ Latino’s Classes from 7.30pm, disco 10pm til midnight. Universal @ Liquid
9.30pm-2am. Student night, £1 a pint. A Vibrant Thing @ R.S.V.P. R&B, soul, swing, garage. No hats/caps. Honestly. DJ Mix Selector @ Sam’s Bar £2-£5 entry. Open deck DJ session. Toucan Club 8pm-2am. Chilled out jazzy beats.
Tuesday 16/10
Rock Inferno @ Clwb Ifor Bach 9pm-2am. Rock, metal, goth. See ya there, then. Hoochy Koochy @ The Emporium 9pm-2am, £1 b4 10pm/£2. Student madness! Salsa night @ Cuba 9pm-2am, Entry varies, Salsa classes from 8pm. Dylan’s Loves 80’s @ Dylan’s Selected drinks 80p. Still rubbish. Pulse @ Zeus Has cheap booze, but so does Spar, and you wouldn’t go there for a night out, would you? Alternative Beats @ The End... 8pm-11pm. Courtesy of the naffly named DJ Pete. Exit Club Gay Venue. Chart and Dance. Singles Night @ Life Looking for love? Try this. Or the Fantasy Lounge. Fantasy Lounge Women, lonely men, poles etc... 2-4-1 Night @ Flares Does what it says on the tin. Offya Face @ Metros 9pm-2am, £2 b4 10.30pm. Alternative NUS night. Boozeday @ Reds Glamorgan Union night. Enjoy. Latin Dance Party @ The Toucan 8.30pm-2am. Latin music, dancing, party vibe. Obviously.
Wednesday 17/10
The Cheesey Club / The Milky Bar / Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach 9.30pm-2am. £2/£2.50 after 11pm. With a playback of the new Pulp album this week. Splendid! Student Night @ Bar Ice 9pm-2am. Late bar, drinks promotions. Party night @ Cuba 9pm-2am, free entry, Carlsberg £1 a bottle, Bacardi £1.50 a bottle. Down to It @ Berlins 9pm-2am. R & B and Garage. Uni-Sex @ Club X 10pm-2am. Gay Venue. Student Night Cross The Tracks @ Cuba 9pm-2am. Free Entry. Soul, Funk and Old Skool. Toucan Acoustic Sessions @ Toucan Club 8pm-2am. Open mic, hosted by Little Miracle. Fantasy Lounge More women dance. The Boogie Box @ Flares Karaoke. ‘Nuff said. Latin Night @ Life Bar Cafe 2-4-1 drinks offers and dancing. National Student Night @ Evolution 9.30pm-2am. Carlsberg £1, all spirits £1, all other drinks £1.50. Wipeout @ Reds Bob Monkhouse hosts popular daytime quiz in Cardiff bar. Maybe. Uprising @ The Roxy 10pm-2am. £3. Dub, ska, reggae and roots. Homegrown @ The Toucan Club 8pm-2am. Live sessions and guest DJ’s. Ace night! Handbag 120 @ Zeus 9pm-2am. Best avoid.
Thursday 18/10
Student Night @ Bar Ice 9pm-2am. Late night bar and drinks offers. Hard House @ The End... DJ Jomec does the honours. (Get it?) Disco Inferno @ Zeus 9pm-2am, £3/£2 NUS, 70s stuff. Zzzz. Beyond The Calico Wall @ Clwb Ifor Bach 10pm-2am, free. Fantabulous night – well worth a look. Plush @ Emporium Anything with a groove, says the press release. Apart from tyres and stuff, I presume. Fantasy Lounge You know the score by now. What A Feeling @ Flares 70’s fun and games, open til 2am. From the Hip @ Incognito 8pm-1am. House and Dance. Old School Funk @ Is It? Cafe. Bar. Place Open til 1am. Old Skool night, but you can’t wear trainers or caps. You do the math. Soul Power @ Liquid 9pm-2am. Soul and R & B, with Trevor Nelson every other week. Spellbound @ Metros 9pm-2am. 2-4-1 cocktails, metal early on, then indie classics. Cabaret @ Minsky’s Show Bar
Cabaret and regular drag acts. Contact venue for more info. Student Night @ Oz Bar 9pm-1am. Dance music, £1 entry. Med-Club @ Reds 9pm-2am. The most ‘up for it’ party in town, apparently.
Friday 19/10
Precinct @ Clwb Ifor Bach 10pm, £8/£6. Information (07950) 345791. Bad Company and DJ Skully this week, along with Precinct residents and Cakemix DJ’s. Bar 150 @ Zeus 9pm-3am. Favourite party choons and games. US Garage @ The End... 8pm-11pm, With DJ Gavin. Fever @ Barfly DJ Mike with a selection of indie classics. Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Turntables @ Berlins 8pm-2am. Chart, garage and R&B. No trainers. Foreplay @ Club X 10pm-3am. Gay Venue. Chart and pumping house. Weekend Madness @ Cuba Til 2am. Red hot Latin grooves. Big Bash @ Dylan’s Smart dress code, expensive drinks and duff music. Enjoy. Chaos @ Metros 9pm-3am, alternative student night. No dress code, cheap booze and good tunes. Robots Eat My Face @ Oz Bar (downstairs) 9pm-1am, £1. Stoner rock/post-hardcore/absolute arse night. ROAR @ Evolution 9pm-4am. £10 or £8 NUS. Lisa Pin-Up and Rob Tissera are ably assisted by residents Jimpy and Damien Lee. Cool House @ Las Iguanas 9pm-1am. US & UK house. Simon Player and Phil Brobin guest this week. Exit Club Gay Venue. Commercial chart and dance. Get Down and Groove @ Flares Til 2am. Funky disco, by all accounts. Moda @ Rajah’s 8.30pm-midnight. Groovy pre-club night. Twin Scene @ Reds No denim, no trainers, no-one under 21, no good music. No point, then, really. Heavy Metal @ The Roxy 10pm-4am. £5. Unsurprisingly, heavy metal. The Mothership Convention @ The Toucan 8pm-2am. Live funk, and mixing madness courtesy of Kris Jenkins, Bones and Dave Grooveslave. Well good, actually.
Saturday 20/10
Fever @ Barfly 10.30pm-2am. Indie classics and lager. Deliciously Wicked @ Berlins 8pm-2am. Yet another R&B/Garage night, with trainers outlawed as usual. Great. Deep Heat @ Club X 10pm-4am. £4-£7. Gay venue. 6 rooms, 3 floor balcony, games room & garden terrace. Well worth a look! The Big Party @ Dylan’s 8pm-1am. The party sounds like a great idea. Sadly, it’s in Dylan’s. L’America @ The Emporium 10pm-4am. £10. US House & Garage. Funky Techno @ The End... 8pm-11pm, with One Mission DJ’s. Exit Club Gay venue. Chart and dance. The Betty Ford Guest List @ Metros 9pm-3am, £3 b4 10.30pm. Top alternative night. Incognito Open ‘til 1am. Old school, house & funk. Hombu 9pm-1am. Free. Tip top and happening night of breaks, beats and house. Weekend Madness @ Bar Cuba 10pm-2am. £2/£4. DJ Andy Loveless Twin Scene @ Reds Same as Friday, only more expensive! Hooray! Glam Night @ The Roxy 10pm-4am. £5. Expect an orgy of all things glam. Apart from Gary Glitter, of course. Club Class Latino @ The Toucan Club 8pm-2am. Latino, world beats and rare grooves. Desire @ Zeus 9pm-3am. Aaaagggghhhh! Twisted By Design @ Dempsey’s 7pm-12am, £2. Frankly marvellous night of all things indie and leftfield. Twee as Stuart Murdoch in a dress sucking a Chupa Chup. Lovely!
Get There
A bit of a bumper week for all things live and musical this week, courtesy of those lovely people at Radio Two. We’ve tried to fit in all the Fringe events going on, but it might be worth double checking with the venue for any last minute changes and exact times. Best of all, most of it’s FREE, so get out there and... er... listen. Some events are ticketed, and a few gigs have alreday had their full allocation sent out already. Whatever, there’s still a great big bundle of fun to be had. You can check availability, and check any other details, on the following address: WWW.VIRTUALCARDIFF.COM/RADIO2FRINGE.
Monday 15/10
Dr John @ St David’s Hall 8.00pm, £12-£18 adv. New Orleans voodoo blues madman comes to Cardiff. If his new album is a marker, it should be ace. Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci, Owen & Gene @ Clwb Ifor Bach 8.00pm, FREE with adv ticket. Whilst it’s always a treat to catch the wondrous Gorky’s live, tonights support is of equal interest. Owen are hotly tipped for great things, while the criminally under-rated Gene start out on the rocky comeback road. Get there if you can. Heavy Quartet, Wase, Diffidence @ Sam’s Bar From 8.00pm, FREE Labi Sifre (Poetry reading) @ Dempsey’s The Eminem-sampled, super fly soul legend visits Cardiff to read his poems! Hooray! David David, Janeiro & Saint Rose @ Oz Bar From 8.00pm. FREE! And with good reason. People @ The Toucan Club 8.00pm, FREE. People, at the Toucan, on a Monday? That’s a first! Haven & Grand Drive @ Barfly 8.00pm. £1 Two marvellous bands. Haven are currently new indie darlings, whilst Grand Drive are still touring the superb ‘True Love and High Adventure’ album. Gwacamoli, Sal & Marcel @ Jumpin’ Jacks 8.00pm, FREE The stiff competition may keep some away, but this is worth a gander if you get time.
Cinema Showtimes
The Iron Ladies Mon/Tue 20.00; Weds 14.30 + 20.00; Thurs 18.15 + 20.15 Moulin Rouge Fri 18.15 + 20.30; Sun 20.00 Children’s Midsummer Sat 15.00 King Lear Sun 17.00 What’s Cooking? Mon-Wed 19.30; Thurs 14.30 + 20.00 Angels Of The Universe Thurs 18.00 Startup.com Fri-Sun 19.30
UCI Cardiff Bay Until 11/10 Tel: 08700 102030
Amelie 12.30 (Sat & Sun ), 15.15, 18.00, 20.45, 23.30 (Fri/Sat ) A.I. 11.30 (Sat & Sun), 14.55, 18.05, 20.00, 21.25, 23.35 (Fri & Sat ) American Pie 2 ADVANCE SCREENING SUNDAY ONLY 13.45, 16.35, 19.00, 21.40 Moulin Rouge 11.45 (Sat & Sun), 14.25, 17.30, 20.30, 23.20 (Fri & Sat) The Score 15.35, 18.20 (Not Tues), 21.10 (Not Tues), 21.55 (Tues), 23.55 (Fri & Sat) Mike Bassett: England Manager 14.40, 17.00, 19.30, 21.45 Scary Movie 2 00.15 (Fri & Sat) Driven 13.00 (Sat & Sun), 15.50, 18.35, 21.20, 00.05 (Fri & Sat) Enigma
GRiP
Embrace, Nerrina Pallot & Pete Wylie @ Clwb Ifor Bach 8pm. FREE, with adv. ticket. The oft derided, but perennially popular, Embrace top the bill, supported by rising star Nerrina Pallot and Merseyside legend Pete Wylie, of ‘Wah!’ fame. Should be great, could be awful, depending on Danny’s voice and Wylie’s mood. Dead Men Walking, Tetra Splendour & El Goodo @ The Toucan 8pm-2am, FREE. Tetra Splendour are from Porthcawl, and rock. El Goodo are similarly Welsh, and similarly ace. Dead Men Walking feature the combined ‘talents’ of Glen Matlock and that old goat from the Alarm. They will, therefore, be poo. You have been warned. Murry the Hump, Belasco & Teflon Monkey @ The Barfly 8pm, FREE. Last Murry the Hump gig! Ever! A nation mourns. Briefly. Squeezebox, Quicksand Charlie & Salon Kitty @ Sam’s Bar 8pm, FREE. Something for everyone, including Cardiff’s very own Quicksand Charlie. Talkshow, Farrah & Spacehopper @ Oz Bar 8pm, FREE. The 49ers, Denzel & Watershed @ Demsey’s 8pm. FREE. The Loves & Special Guests @ Jumpin’ Jacks 8pm, FREE. Cooler than they have any right to be, Cardiff’s very own The Loves defy any convention that you care to mention, and produce a melodious pop not heard since The Velvet Underground’s ‘Loaded’. Quite why they find themselves here, on the fringe of the fringe events, is a mystery. Go and watch them. Please.
Wednesday 17/10
Rosalie Deighton @ Clwb Ifor Bach 8pm, FREE with adv. ticket. Pink Assassin, 14*28 & Guests @ Sam’s Bar 8pm, FREE. Mohobishopi, MC Mabon, Pep Le Pew @ Dempsey’s 7.30pm, FREE. They’re from Cardiff (sort of)! They’re signed to V2! They’ve released the same single a million times! They’re Mohobishopi! And tonight, they’re playing acoustic. So is MC Mabon, which is a far more
12.45 (Sat & Sun), 16.05, 18.50, 21.35 The Fast and the Furious 13.45 (Sat), 16.35 (Not Sun), 21.40 (Not Sun & Weds) Original Sin 12.15 (Sat/Sun), 15.10, 18.15, 21.00, 23.40 (Fri & Sat)
UGC Cinema, Cardiff Until 04/10 Tel: 08709 070739 A.I. 10.40 12.10 1.40 3.10 4.50 6.20 8.00 9.30 11.20 Fri/Sat Amelie Thu 10.00 12.30 3.00 5.30 6.00 8.40 Battle Royale 11.30 (Sun-Thu) 1.40 4.00 6.10 8.20 10.30 The Brothers 10.40 12.50 3.10 5.30 7.40 10.00 12.20 (Fri/Sat) Crazy/Beautiful 10.00 (not Sun) 12.10 (not Sun) 2.20 (not Sun) 4.30 6.40 Delicatessen 10.40 (Mon-Wed) 12.50 (Mon-Wed) 3.00 (MonWed) 5.10 (Fri-Wed) 7.20 (Fri-Wed) 9.30 Enigma 10.10 12.50 3.20 5.50 8.30 11.30 (Fri/Sat) The Fast And The Furious 11.40 2.00 4.40 7.00 9.30 11.50 (Fri/Sat) Jurassic Park III Sat/Sun mat 11.00 1.00 A Knight’s Tale 10.30 1.10 4.00 6.50 9.40 (not Thu) The Magic Sword: Quest For Camelot Sat mat 10.30 The Martins 10.20 (not Sat/Sun/Thu) 12.20 (not Sat/Sun/Thu) 2.20 (not Sat/Sun/Thu) 4.20 6.20 (not Tue/Wed) 8.20 (not Tue/Wed) 10.20 Mike Bassett: England Manager 11.30 1.40 3.50 6.00 8.10 10.20 Moulin Rouge 10.00 12.30 3.20 6.10 9.00 11.50 (Fri/Sat) Planet Of The Apes 8.50 11.30 (Fri/Sat) Rush Hour 2 10.10 (Mon-Thu) 12.10 (Mon-Thu) 2.10 (Fri/Mon-Thu) 4.40 6.40 8.40 11.00 (Fri/Sat) Saving Private Ryan Thu mat 11.00 The Score 10.30 1.10 3.50 6.30 9.10 11.50 (Fri/Sat)
interesting idea, in all honesty. Proud Mary, Tommy and the Chauffeur & Headtest @ The Barfly 7.30pm, FREE. Heavy soul or just heavy going? The jury’s still out on Proud Mary, so take a look and make up your own mind. Support is partly supplied by purveyors of top class melancholia, Tommy and the Chauffeur. Tom Hingley, Joya & Ben @ Oz Bar 8pm, FREE. He used to be in the Inspiral Carpets, and was a bit rubbish. He’s still a bit rubbish, but hasn’t got a band any more. Ladies and Gentleman, we give you Tom Hingley.... Rag Foundation, Dragonfall, Ultra Violet Pilots @ The Toucan Club 8pm, FREE.
Thursday 18/10
The Divine Comedy, The Afternoons & Lorien @ Clwb Ifor Bach 8pm, FREE with adv. ticket. A good bill all round, though there’s always the chance that it could all be spoilt if La Hannon chooses to play ‘National Express’. Probably worth the risk, nonetheless. The Scooters, Rita & Brody @ Sam’s Bar 8pm, FREE. Cardiff’s favourite sons The Scooters, fresh back from the CMJ Music Awards in New York, take to the stage of Sams Bar for what will surely be a highlight of the Radio 2 festivities. With a new album in the pipeline and a European tour in the offing, this may well be your last chance to see them play in a venue such as this. So go. Choc Ice & Mike Church @ Dempsey’s 8pm, FREE. Barker, Walker, Kosha @ Oz Bar 8pm, FREE. Well known around Cardiff for no reason in particular, Barker play some songs. Enjoy. Drugstore, Melys & Skep @ Barfly 7.30pm, FREE.
Friday 19/10
End of Fringe Party @ The Coal Exchange 7.30pm-3am. £5 tickets adv. Not even the fantastic setting of Cardiff Coal Exchange can salvage this. The ‘new’ (i.e. crap) line up of Dodgy are the main attraction, leaving the support acts with no real chance at all. A shame that the truly tip-top Rocket Gold Star are given such a bum deal, and that an otherwise excellent fringe festival should end with such a damp squib.
★
Societies
First of all, big apologies to all the lovely societies people who have been rather poorly catered for over the past two weeks. The frankly unbelievable madness that pervaded the Gair Rhydd office at the start of term has now subsided (a bit), so here is your lovely new listings bit! Feel free to send in any news about events, meetings, classes or anything else clean and legal to our address, email us or, if you’re feeling particularly brave, pop up and see us!
Ski and Snowboard Club
EVERY MONDAY Meet at the back of the Union at 5.40pm for training and lessons. All welcome, but please sign up on the noticeboard first. EVERY TUESDAY Holiday bookings taken in the Meeting Rooms from 6.30pm to 7.30pm.
Socialist Student Society WEDNESDAY 17th OCTOBER The fight against fees continues. Speakers tonight travelling from Swansea. Meeting Room One, 4th Floor, Student’s Union.
Riding Club
WEDNESDAY 17th OCTOBER The Riding Club invites everyone to their ‘Grand National Pub Crawl’, kicking off @ 8pm in The Woodville. There are cinema tickets to be won over the course of the night, and if anyone is still standing, the night should finish at Jive Hive. Marvellous.
Dancesport
EVERY TUESDAY Lessons take place in The Great Hall. Advanced / Intermediate: 6pm-7pm. Beginners: 7pm-8.30pm.
Gair Rhydd
ALL DAY, EVERY DAY Come and write for Gair Rhydd and let your long suffering section editors get some sleep. See our advert on page 27 and come to our media penthouse with booze and Pro-Plus. Seriously, meeting times are 2.15pm on Wednesdays for GRiP and 1.15pm on Mondays for News, Sport and Features. Come along for lots of buffoonery and lobster boiling.
FREE HOME DELIVERY ON ORDERS OVER £10 ★
Dine in relaxed, contemporary surroundings
SPECIAL OFFER
Set Meal for One -
£6.95
• Any Starters, • Any Main Course • Any Rice or Nan Bread • Anything from the Menu (excluding King Prawn dishes) or 20% discount to all students on the à la carte menu
40 City Road Cardiff Tel. (029) 2048 8480 Restaurant Dining or Takeaway
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OPENING HOURS: THURSDAY - 6PM TO
LATE FRIDAY
★ FREE HOME DELIVERY ON ORDERS OVER £10 ★ FREE HOME DELIVERY ON ORDERS OVER £10 ★
Chapter Arts Centre (Canton) until 7/10 Tel: 029 20304400
Tuesday 16/10
★ FREE HOME DELIVERY ON ORDERS OVER £10 ★ FREE HOME DELIVERY ON ORDERS OVER £10 ★
Live Music
03
& SATURDAY
FREE HOME DELIVERY ON ORDERS OVER £10 ★
01.10.01
artsreviews
04 BENN CLATWORTHY QUARTET Welsh College of Music and Drama BENN CLATWORTHY is a sax man whose head spins with jazz. His fingers are clicking even before his quartet has reached the stage. When he takes a break for the pianist’s solos, he groans to himself in the corner. Between songs, he’s dizzy and incoherent, itching to start playing again, and when he does, he and his band dive straight in, never wasting time on an intro. The man is held up pretty high. He’s a regular guest at London’s groovy Ronnie Scott’s Club, and was in fact trained by the man himself. And he made a name for himself in L.A. None of which is bad for a guy from south London who looks and talks like an extra from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. His music, then, after seeing his enthusiasm and reputation, was surprisingly ordinary.
Bad as it sounds, it was just jazz. The sort of thing Frasier Crane might chill out to: the bass bops, the piano tinkles, and it feels like the Forties. But there were fragments of the set where they let themselves loose and the air caught fire; where they were ragged, and the drums blew up outside the beats like John Bonham’s, while Benn’s valves clacked, his reed rasped, and
Charlie Parker and Thelonius Monk, he can really wail, man. The drummer (Mark O’Connor, one of “Wales’ finest musicians”, says the flyer), also knows how and when to let go, breaking from the standard jazz tisk-a-tisk to wild, inverted microwave-popcorn crackles, popping in and out of WCMD’s Paula Gardiner’s bass runs. The one weak point was Benn’s pianist, a
Between songs, he’s dizzy and incoherent, itching to start playing again, and when he does, he and his band dive straight in, never wasting time on an intro. between every slippery phrase he wrenched his head away from his saxophone and groaned like a dead man. He doesn’t try to revolutionise sax playing. He just blows it all out, with a strongly melodic, Sonny Rollinsinfluenced style. And when he blows well, as he does with covers of
headmasterish man whose ivory tickles were just too standard, too Frasier. If you’re looking for an introduction to jazz, you’d probably be better off looking through your dads records. But Benn Clatworthy’s quartet isn’t bad at all. Mat Croft
Benny plays the blues FLIGHT National Gallery
LEONORE New Theatre
IS IT a bird? Is it a plane? Yes, actually, it is, and everything in between, now at the National Gallery’s ‘Flight’ exhibition. You must have walked/crawled past the massive aeroplane suspended outside the Park Place gallery nearly a hundred times now, and never thought about going in. And yet, in these turbulent times, when the whole flying business seems to be in dire need of its very own Superman and his mighty saving power, now is the time to go along and work out why we’re so obsessed with travelling a stupidly long way from earth in, to be brutally honest, a piece of flimsy steel. ‘Flight’ traces this obsession from our prehistoric ancestors, with displays of 145 million year old fossils to prove it, to the latest rockets and space machines. Life –size models, informative and well-lit boards, and the stable ingredient to any museum exhibition, hands-on experiments, mean this appeals to all shapes and sizes. Even better, for those of us who still freeze in terror at the word ‘experiment’ from nightmarish GCSE days and weirdo chemistry teachers, there are pretty pictures to look at and admire, especially borrowed from the museum’s very own impressive art collection. The myths and legends of flying are thus expressed through these paintings and sculptors, from Icarus and his fateful winged journey, to Paolo Uccelli’s interpretation of St. George and the dragon – Wales’ very own flying icon. Leonardo da Vinci even got a look in – his grand designs to get
‘LEONORE’ IS a story that deals evenhandedly with romance, politics, loyalty and personal ethics. Leonore, the heroine, begins the opera dressed as a man. She has joined the household of the jailer, Rocco, in order to get closer to her husband, Florestan, who has been wrongfully imprisoned. Rocco’s daughter, Marzelline, is in love with Leonore, believing her to be a man, and wants to marry her. Leonore accepts on the agreement that she will be allowed to tend the prisoners with Rocco. The governor, who has imprisoned Florestan, orders his murder as Leonore is man off the ground were always going bottom up, but nonetheless interestingly explained. Art and science were placed side by side, but seemingly in harmony. For me the highlight was logging on the NASA web site, through which there is access to a programme, which gives you a guided tour of the ins and outs of a space shuttle. At the touch of a mouse you could get a real idea of what goes on inside these Apollo-12 types, and I came as near as I’m ever likely to being inside a real space machine. The exhibition runs until 24th February, so you’ve got masses of time to get down there. Admission is £2 a pop, but if you run in at 4.30pm, you’ll get in for free. Contact the National Gallery on 029 2039 7951 for more details. Lizzie Brown
Act One Pub Golf worry if you’re a virgin to this sort of thing, I’m sure if you wait long enough the right man or woman will come along soon, and they’ll respect you for the person you are and not just use and abuse you in a callous and selfish manner…If on the other hand you haven’t ever played pub golf before, that’s fine too ‘cos all the rules will be explained to you before we begin. The date of this monumental piss up is FRIDAY 19th OCTOBER. Please meet at 7.30 in ‘The George’. Mark Twain once said: “Golf is a good walk spoiled” but he lived 200 years ago and probably hadn’t consumed his own body weight in lager, so what the hell did he know! For more details on any of the Act One shenanigans, check out their top website www.cardiffstudents.com/actone.
about to see her husband for the first time. He is to be killed before the minister arrives to inspect the prison. Rocco and Leonore go to the prison to dig his grave. The political heart of the opera comes alive as Florestan pleads with Rocco to help him. Rocco replies, “What do you want from me, I carry out my orders. That is my job, my duty.” When he is pushed to help him in any way he says in despair “I’d perish and I would not have helped you.” The dialogue could almost be seen as reflective of later German politics. It is the tragedy of the man caught between his orders and his conscience. When the governor arrives Leonore pulls a pistol on him. She is disarmed and left unconscious in the cell with Florestan. He pulls against his chain to reach her yet cannot. It all turns out fine in the end. The minister frees them, the governor is punished and Leonore is showered with praise. So Photo: Clive Barda
WELL, THE TIME is finally upon us. The die has been cast, the seeds have been sown. The people sit on the edge of their collective seats; a hush falls over the fields and valleys of this ancient land and the Queen has been notified. Literally tens, yes tens of words have been written about what many believe will prove to be THE social event of the minute. My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen please be squatted as we announce to an expectant nation, that the time is nigh, the price is right, stay out the black, aim for the red cos you get nowt in this game for two in a bed! Yes tonight Matthew, Act One is proudly going to be, Bully’s special prize…the inaugural world pub golf championships!!! All are welcome to join in, including nonmembers. All you need is yourself, a drinking buddy and flippin’ great wodges of cash! Don’t
It is a tragedy of man caught between orders and conscience
everyone is cheery and bathing in the glory of God. Except for one dissenting figure. Marzelline turns away from the universal joy and leaves the stage. The dialogue notably does not deal with the woman who loved another woman. The plot is an absorbing one; however, it is Beethoven’s music that carries the audience through the roller coaster of emotion. The overture (which was utterly confusing to me as an opera virgin; ten minutes with no singing and no actors?) defines the entire opera. It is cold and bleak and makes you shiver a little (I won’t even try to get more technical than that). The universal bleakness of the opera was well expressed in the WNO’s performance. The staging was minimal and the performers were all intense and angst ridden, even when they were happy. I have only one complaint and it has nothing to do with the performance. All those stereotypes about snobbish opera crowds turn out to be true. I hate to judge a whole group on one encounter but to be honest they were uniformly rude. If it wasn’t somebody elbowing us out the way at the bar because we weren’t in suits and didn’t own a gold card, then it was the lady in front of us who felt she had the right to snap at my friend rather than make a polite request. The opera is frequently being accused of superiority and exclusivity which is a real shame because it will deter people like me from going more often. Hazel Cheeseman
gamesreviews g
06
Baize of X-Press Yourself Glory X-MEN 2: MUTANT ACADEMY Activision (PS)
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP SNOOKER 2002 Codemasters (PS2)
S
S
NOOKER IS the evolutionary cul-desac of man’s instinct to hit things with a stick. It’s played by people who prefer not to move around much, and its videogame manifestation is a very questionable move indeed. World Championship Snooker is undoubtedly a quality realisation of the sedentary sport and, until Suzuki or Miyamoto get on the case with a Mario Pool or Virtua Monkey Billiards, it’ll remain the benchmark snooker title available for any console. Being a shrewd simulation, the pathologically spiked difficulty curve of Snooker is captured perfectly – fluff just one single shot, and you’ll
"That’s a lovely pot," he drawls in his soporific brogue, with all the charisma of gravy; this isn’t commentary, it’s a collection of inane and misplaced platitudes. more than likely spend the rest of the frame sat in the corner whilst your opponent Hoovers up every single ball on the table. It’s true to the sport, but it makes for some frustrating and passive gaming unless you’ve ramped up the handicap in an exhibition match. Snooker is a game best enjoyed with someone of equal ability, and so WCS2002 is best suited for two player love-ins. The blow-by-blow ‘analysis’ in WCS2002 is provided by one-time world champion and pensioner pin-up, Dennis Taylor. "That’s a lovely pot" he drawls in his soporific brogue, with all the charisma of gravy; this isn’t commentary, it’s a collection of inane and misplaced platitudes. It ranges from the obvious ("Potting that colour will put it back on its spot") to the asinine ("Played liked a true pro", just as you snooker yourself snugly between the pink and black). Not to mention his feverish obsession with any colour that’s positioned anywhere vaguely near the cushion. Decent commentary is made up of banter between two well-versed and slightly unhinged fans of the sport, not a selection of pre-determined responses. Commentary in sports games is nothing but a white elephant, a nice corporate USP that adds spice to the press release, but little to the game. Even with 1000’s of well-timed phrases, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire syndrome will settle in after a minute or so and things begin
GRiP
to grate. Until something very snazzy is pulled off in terms of AI and chatbot small talk, commentary is destined to be little more than a verbal equivalent of the clumsy text parsers featured in ye olde text adventures ("Use dwarf in keyhole" etc). Whilst there’s a brilliant physics engine at work on the table, animation and detail is poor elsewhere. The ref comes across as a constipated droid, stitched together from the back of cereal packets, and the players are gangly, hesitant praying mantises, gingerly grasping the cue as if it’s been smeared in puke. There’re nice televisual touches, mostly involving camera cuts to animations of your opponent acknowledging a fluke, holding his head in his hands, wiping a bit of dribble from his chin, or sobbing gently under the existential despair of a life spent in orbit around a green table. Any criticisms of the trimmings and garnish, though, are academic – this is snooker, and all the important bits are in good, working order. The feel of the table is spot on, even down to the satisfying clunk of ball-on-ball. The controls are simple to grasp and utilise, whilst the camera is flexible enough to facilitate any mad one-in-a-million long shots you may decide to try and hustle. Most of the current world rankers are present (lemon-faced Mark Williams and pocket tiger ‘O Sullivan, for example), and there’s a pointless create-aplayer option replete with Virgoan fashion victim waistcoat. The conclusion cliché is at its most applicable with a title like WCS2002 – snookerloopy-nuts-are-we fans will love it and appreciate the fine recreation of the sport. Anyone else, though, will find the experience akin to sitting in a deserted library, watching a slug have a race with a snail. Steven Bailey
TAN LEE is a genius, as Indie filmmaker supremo Kevin Smith points out in Mallrats. Spiderman, the Incredible Hulk, the Uncanny X-Men – all Lee creations, and everyone well renown show what contribution to popular culture he's made. Last year, the X-Men movie tie-in managed to do justice to Marvel's best-selling title. Hardcore X-Men fans, of course, weren't happy, but then again hardcore fans of anything are never happier than complaining about the minutiae of their chosen text. They need somewhere to channel their frustration, and what better way than via an X-Men themed beat-em-up or – hey! its brand new sequel. The original was only released a couple of years ago, so what improvements have been made? It can't be the identikit fight screen as seen in most beat 'em ups post Street Fighter 2 – in the middle of the screen is a timer counting down from 99 and to the left and right are the combatants health bars. Maybe its the graphics – refreshingly ambitious although the usual PS jagged edges spoil the backgrounds and surfaces, the characters are nicely rendered for a 32-bit machine. The character list has been expanded so movie absentees Gambit and Beast are alongside weather-controlling Storm and literally hard-as-nails Wolverine, in addition to more obscure Havok and Forge. It plays like your typical beat em up with a good range of moves – standing still, crouching, jumping, combos and power moves that can only be activated when symbols appear at the bottom of the screen after you've dealt out sufficient pain to your opponent. There is no character list that can be called up as in Tekken, instead you'll need to use the Academy function to learn all the moves from Professor Xavier. It's a good feature that exploits the X-Men plot for the benefit of the player, but mid-battle you'll really wish you knew why those punishing combos that kicked ass in the academy aren't even pinching donkey now. As an X-Men licence, its well done, especially the fan oriented Cerebro function showing artwork designs for the film. If you're a fan of the X-Men, you'll have been sold before the first paragraph began. You'll have more affinity with Cyclops et al than any of the 'characters' from Tekken, Powerstone and Tech Romancer. You'll appreciate being able to use the unique powers that every X-Man has, to control and unleash them against your adversary. Its the enjoyment of this, rather than being enveloped in some shallow motivation to be 'king of the fighters' that is the selling point here. But if you're not a big fan then the words 'Soul' and 'Calibur' should be etched in front of your eyes way before this. If you've got any other fighting game made to the SF2 layout circa 1993 then you'll find no inventiveness here. If you get frustrated by the way beat em ups rely on your own memory of fighting sequences or your inability to bash them out exactly then X-Men should be put onto the ‘Rainy Day’ pile. Chris Faires www.stanlee.net
Games Top 5 GAMES YOU CAN PLAY ALL DAY 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Championship Manager Sim City 2000 Mario Kart Populous Le Mans 24 Hours (do you see?)
15.10.01
g gamesreviews
07
More Than A Game John Rowlands is a self-confessed Championship Manager addict. Like many across the country he finds it too alluring to resist, suffering the inevitable antisocial consequences. So tell us why is it better than life John? Why?
I
T COULD be any normal day. On awakening you grudgingly roll out of bed and stumble towards the kitchen for some brekky. After ambling around the house you eventually get dressed and begin contemplating your seemingly revolutionary plans for the day and POW! The PC is on and some devilish bugger has loaded Championship Manager. Don’t they know what they’ve done?...But it was you, and you know it all too well. After winning the Treble with Brentford without conceding a goal and getting sacked because you’re just too good, you glance at the clock and its bloody teatime! If all the above sounds familiar then prepare yourself for another hefty dose of the antisocial drug that is Championship Manager from Sports Interactive (SI Games). On October 12 the latest edition, season 2001/2002, is released and for all you proud CM addicts out there it’ll be Christmas come early. But what exactly is it about this gaming revelation that makes food
every aspect of the job, ranging from team selection, tactics and transfers to dealing with the media and managing the clubs finances. The attention to detail is immense. Every player in every team throughout all the world’s top leagues has a comprehensive list of statistics. These range from pace and finishing to a bingedrinking rating and dodgy mullet potential (no, really). Even so, the kind of realism achieved by SI in relation to, for instance, in-game time is such that it does not hamper gameplay and keeps things moving. Take for instance the transfer of a player. Once you make a bid it may take days in the game for the targeted players club to get back to you, creating an unerringly real sense of anticipation. Even if they accept your offer there’s still no guarantee that you will agree on personal terms, value to the squad and proximity to the nearest brothel (only joking Dwight!). Yet, if you were up for a hardcore eyestinging CM session (far too often, you’ll find) you “I recommend CM, one can could quite comfortably learn a lot from this game.” – complete an entire Jerzy Engel, Poland Manager season and more in a day’s play. Such a well programmed, carefully consumption and bladder relief the only reasons constructed inter-relationship between the real for its haplessly addicted victims to venture from world time dilation and that of the computer their hovels? Any self-respecting football fan game world means the realism is foremost while would dearly love the opportunity to take a crack the gameplay is still maintained. The day-to-day at club management. Indeed, until recently marathon of an actual football season is made every man and his dog thought they’d do a compatible with the immediacy and speed of better job than any of the poor whelps who’ve progress needed to maximise gaming recently held the ill fated, career tarnishing satisfaction. There is nothing better when England post. As a result it is easy to see why playing computer games than the feeling that the popularity base of the CM franchise is so you’re actually getting somewhere. If there is vast. But with plenty of other management sims one thing you could say about playing CM it is on the market there is one factor that makes CM that you’ll never run out of things to do. champions elect – realism. Despite the fact that there are few graphical After playing the game for a considerable niceties included (or needed) in CM, it is a length of time you genuinely feel you know what massive game, not least noticed by your being a football manager is actually like, trembling hard drive. Critics (lonesome, appreciating the kinds of day-to-day problems lonesome people) would say that this lack of they have to face. You are in control of virtually graphical punch (not actually seeing the game
unfold in FIFA-esque fashion) is a detriment to game basically un-finishable, with your primary the games realism. However the sheer attention goal being to achieve and maintain a good to detail such as the flashing commentary and reputation as a manager. So it goes on and stats on each players performance easily give a on…and on. satisfactory impression that the game is taking So why not try and win the Champions place. League with Watford, or even harder, save The AI is outstanding throughout as you try to Southampton from relegation (no, that’s just out-fox your opposite number from first minute silly). On release day if you’re a hardened, scar to ninetieth and watch your tactical decisions ridden CM veteran then no doubt you’ll shoot make a difference on screen. Quirkier aspects into town like a whippet with a bum full of also add to the realism. Aside from physical and “It’s the best game I’ve mental attributes the players played. It is a game isn’t it?” have personalities that frequently interfere with all - Robbie Williams aspects of the game. Pierre van Hooijdonk always ‘wants to move to a dynamite. If you’ve yet to experience the evil… bigger club’, Stan Collymore constantly ‘has mean greatness…of what is quite literally the personal problems’ and Paul Merson has beautiful game then why not sting your frequently ‘just been on a bender.’ Such touches overdraft and give it a whirl. It’ll lose you your give the illusion that these players genuinely friends, they’ll think your weird, you won’t sleep harbour an in-game existence and are yours to at night, it makes your eyes hurt, it causes you buy, sell, flatter and mistreat as you see fit. grief, its out Saturday…and you will love it. CM novices, heed this warning. All experienced practitioners of the virtual ‘hardest www.football365.com job in the world’ will tell you that those God-like, neon-lit (callous! callous!) programmers from SI Championship Manager 01-02 will be have created a game that, when you get into it, reviewed very soon. We’ll just need to extract will literally take over your life. Matters aren’t the CD from the computer to stop John helped by the fact that they have made the playing all day.
Freestylers MX 2002 (Featuring Ricky Carmichael) THQ (PS2)
well earned points along the way. Each rider has their own signature stunt, as well as a bunch of crazy actions they can all do. Within minutes even the novice will be pulling off the Coffin,
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OR THOSE not familiar with the world of motocross, Ricky Carmichael is a 21-year old legend and four-time AMA national champion. Not exactly a household name though, is he. Mind you neither was skateboarder, Tony Hawks until he was more then willingly launched into the console ‘Hall of Fame’ earlier this year. THQ are supposedly hoping that the thirty-or-so motocross big-wigs that all feature in this PS2 riot will have the same effect. It may not have you tearing up your Mum’s bedding plants with your older brother’s Kawasaki, but it’s still worth a look. Boasting the chance to both race around in mud and jump over things MX2002 is well thought out, easy to get to grips with and well...fun. The stunt or freestyle mode allows even the most uninventive of folks to grab themselves some air time a fling themselves into back-breaking oblivion, hopefully picking up some
the Lazy Boy, the Kiss of Death and other such mid-air yoga, all of which come crashing back to earth with a seductive mixture of success and hospital treatment. Race mode allows you to test the power of your detergent with
some dust-busting slides, spins and jumps, all of which bombs along incredibly smoothly, giving a real sense of speed. Engine noise is also kept to a minimum, which believe me is a very good thing seeing as most of the bikes usually sound like a pissed-off mosquito. Plenty of real life Motocross and Supercross circuits have also been compiled from satellite photos so they’re as accurate as a bunch of mud humps can be. NASA are reportedly less than chuffed about this misuse of their resources. Graphically, and being a PS2 title, all things are pretty impressive. The riders movements in the air and an interactive replay mode are stunning. The only downside is the fact that when grounded, Ricky and his chums look fairly static, maintaining the same rigid stance on the bike. In the long run though, this makes little difference as you’re too busy thinking how to hurl yourself of the next hill that’s rapidly looming. The music also adds to the high-octane atmosphere, with tracks from Saliva, Relative Ash and American Hi-Fi resounding thoughtlessly as you thrash along. Another added bonus is career mode, where you can customize a rider, choose their sponsor, bike and team and advance through the echelons of motocross, unlocking new tracks in your wake. The Bus-Jump in freestyle mode is also one you’ll want to unlock in what turns out to be a stylish, challenging, approachable title. MotoX has come a long way since Exitebike on the NES. Long live Ricky Carmichael! James Morley
Hey, you! Yes You, fatboy. Do you like paying for stuff? or would you want to.... get them FREE? ENTS, in association with the Playstation Network, are running competitions to win PS2 games and goodies in Fun Factory, Mondays 9-11 in Solus.
filmreviews/competition
08
What a great BOOM! BOOM! pie-formance
AMERICAN PIE 2 Starring: Jason Biggs, Shannhon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Chrsh Klein Dir: James B Rogers 15, 105 mins
CRAZY DAYS. Really weird days. Inevitably quite scary days. We’re young, free and in love. Well maybe not love, but we definitely want a member of the opposite sex. And it is that, that we have in common with Jim, Finch, Oz, Kevin and Stifler. The whole gang from American Pie are back, with another hilarious coming-of-age movie, and since we are all coming of age, it is particularly relevant to us.
In the summer of 1999 they ‘took the pact’ and explored the undiscovered frontiers of love, sex and friendship. The guys are now a year older, just having finished their first year of college. After a boring start to their summer, Kevin gets on the phone to his older brother (the one who gave him ‘The Sex Bible’ in AP) who recommends that they all rent a beach house. So they jump in the jeep and race on up to the beach where they rent a ridiculously expensive house and get jobs as house painters to support their party lifestyles. American Pie was such a runaway success that the producers obviously wanted to try to recreate the profits when they planned American Pie 2. So, what they have done is to take the first movie and rewrite each scene, but with basically the same premise. For example, AP opens with Jim spanking his monkey as his folks walk in. AP2 opens with Jim and a chick in bed, and, yes you guessed it, in walk Mum and Dad. AP has the incident with the pie, AP2 has an incident with some super glue. As you can see, the similarities are incredible, but I must say,
they do manage to pull it off. The scenes are funny, and different enough from AP. The cast are also very good. They all seem to have built up their characters since AP. Jim’s Dad (Eugene Levy) plays the ‘un-cool, but trying to be cool’ Dad so well, that the producers have extended his role in AP2. There are more moments that make you think of your own parents, and thank God that they were never as bad as him. The casuality with which he turns to the father of the girl who is in bed with his son (having just walked in on them) and says, "Hi, this is my son Jim, I didn’t catch your daughters name, but hopefully my son did", is brilliant. I think that the reason I liked this film so much is that I see myself in the characters. They are honest, genuine guys, who you can’t help but like. Some of the things that they say, is what we are feeling. OK, I’ve never attempted to have sex with a pie, but, some of the other scenes are strangely familiar. The script-writers have really got into our heads, and printed out the contents. American Pie 2 does keep you entertained, with a fast pace. There are so many laugh-out-loud moments that I am just dying to write out the script in this article, but that would just spoil the film for you. There is no point when you think that the film is dragging or simply repeating the same jokes as in the first one. Rather than that, it builds on AP, a lot of the jokes you wouldn’t get unless you have seen it. And for all you guys, the girls have really grown up. They are now so much, well, more grown up than they were in the first one. And
Five pairs of UGC Cinema Tickets
High St. Queen St.➔
Howells
Cardiff Castle
GRiP
Last weeks answer: (b) Jack Winners: David Shute, Chan Yan, Bhauana Reddy, Dimitra Fimi, Angela Rwegellera. Just pop up to the GR office to collect them.
St Mary St.
Dex
in association with
In the first American Pie movie what did Jim try to make babies with? (a) A Warm Apple Pie (b) A Warm Cornish Pasty (c) A Lovely Lady
Funky Wigs, & Shades Flares, Jeans, Shirts, Mini Dresses Ball Masks & Theme Accessories Royal Arcade
This week to celebrate the release of teen-flick American Pie 2, we have another five pairs of tickets to the UGC Cinema in Cardiff to give away to the fastest Gair Rhydd readers. Simply answer the question below and e-mail your name, course and answer to: grfilmdesk@hotmail.com with ‘Film Competition 701’ in the subject line. Last weeks winners are listed below and they have each won tickets. But even if you didn’t win, you can still see a movie for just £2.95 at any time at the UGC cinema. So get Weekly Film on down there.
gairrhydd
Dir: Basil Brush On Video: Now WHAT'S ONE foot tall, wears a cape, and goes 'BOOM BOOM'? Basil Brush is back with his 'Best of' video. It's the chance to relive those childhood moments - and everyone knows we students love our kids TV! Well, the distribution company thought we would and sent us a copy of the video. And we thought that it would be rude not to at least give it a mention. Of course the Teletubbies could never compete with the sparkling wit of Mr Brush. Coupled with its
nostalgic 80's charm - mullets, glitter, spandex and all - this video's sure to make you giggle. The pantomime style allow Basil to display his many guises, from French Mademoiselle to leather-clad rock star, including a brief flirtation with Maid Marian along the way. He's accompanied by a host of 80's icons, such as Lulu and Alvin Stardust. As if that wasn't enough, we're also subjected to the painful warbling of 'Cilla my gob's too big Black.' However, despite budget special effects, dodgy French accents and cringe-worthy song and dance routines, Basil's appeal still stands the test of time. His manic laugh and repeated cries of 'BOOM BOOM' ensure that Basil Brush remains the classiest fox around! Gemma Fields
that much hotter. So if you liked American Pie, then definitely get on down to the cinema and see American Pie 2. You never know, you may even see yourself in one of these guys or girls. Jonathan Steven
WIN WIN WIN Competition
THE BEST OF BASIL BRUSH Starring: Basil Brush
10%
Student Discount
Open: Mon - Sat 10.00am - 5.30pm
UPSTAIRS CARDIFF ANTIQUE CENTRE 10-12 Royal Arcade, Cardiff Tel: 029 20 398891
15.10.01
filmfeature
09
Cream of the Crop
It’s a new year at Uni, so we have a new team at Film Desk. In this feature, we introduce the team who will be bringing you everything you need to know about film in Cardiff, and take a look at some of their all time top movies. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the 2001/2 Gair Rhydd Film team . . .
THE THIN RED LINE
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Ben Hammond s a meditation on War and the Human Spirit, The Thin Red Line is unparalleled. It is a poetic, shocking and above all, truthful account of how war affects the lives of those on the front line. The story is not so much concerned with the politics of war; big battles or the larger picture, but instead chooses to focus on what happens to a man when placed in the role of "kill, or be killed". The movie boasts an all-star cast, featuring John Travolta, George Clooney, Sean Penn, Woody Harrelson, Nick Nolte and John Cusack. However, surprisingly it is the lesser known actors, such as Jim Caviezel and Ben Chaplin (from Game On) that really carry the story, proving that these pretty boys can act. Though nominated for seven Academy Awards, The Thin Red Line was overshadowed at the time by Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan. Yet, to my mind, the former comes far closer to portraying what it actually feels like to live staring death in the face, than any other war movie. This film also hailed the return of the reclusive director of Badlands, Terrence Malick, after some twenty-year absence. Set during the Second World War as America vies with Japan for possession of the Pacific Islands, Malick takes us down into the very souls of the infantry men as they attempt to eradicate the Japanese presence. When these men are propelled into the brutality of war they are forced to acknowledge their own mortality and re-evaluate the moral chaos within which they find themselves surrounded. However, the fascination of this movie derives from the variety of ways in which these ordinary men try to cope with it. Some are pushed towards committing acts of unspeakable evil, others towards acts of astounding courage. Some men are paralyzed by fear, others go insane because of it. Some numb themselves from the horror and still others open themselves up to the beauty they
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see in life. That a man can find beauty in oblivion at all is almost as shocking as the scenes of violence. As the hero of the story puts it: "One man looks at a dying bird and sees nothing but unanswered pain... Another man sees the same bird and feels something smiling through it."
THE WILD BUNCH
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Neil Blain egarded by many as the greatest western of our time, Sam Peckinpah's The Wild Bunch revolutionised the
interview with Mark Cousins that "after you've seen one of Sam's films, the last thing you want to do is shoot a gun. . . he hated violence." Although during his time Peckinpah became more infamous for his 'cowboy' use of drugs and his treatment of women than for his films, recent critics are now fully assessing the artistry of Peckinpah's works. With The Wild Bunch he destroyed the John Ford constructed myth of the romantic cowboy by sympathising with his fading anti-heroes played so well by William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Warren Oates and Ben Johnson. As the men are finally ripped apart by bullets in the conclusion, the audience cannot but admire the mens commitment to their loyalty for one another and their suicidal male camaraderie.
10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
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way films were both directed and viewed. Peckinpah's Oscar nominated script deals with a bunch of ageing outlaws who are pursued by bounty hunters whilst they simultaneously trade with Mexican revolutionaries, actions that culminate in their deaths in the climatic shoot-out at the end of the film. The script, set on the eve of World War One, was loaded with themes dealing with the death of the west and male camaraderie. Peckinpah's action packed directorial use of fast cutting mixed with slow motion in his balletic final gunplay also revolutionised ideas of screen violence. Peckinpah, obsessed with realism, packed squibs and blood bags with animal flesh to show the full effect of a bullet hitting a body and exiting out of the back. It is argued that more bullets are fired throughout the film then during the entire Mexican Revolution which caused many critics to slam Peckinpah's blood-bath, which has only been rivalled since by Spielberg's beach assault in Saving Private Ryan. However many actors such as James Coburn have defended him, claiming in a recent
Lisa Mann hile this may deter those cinemagoers who are happy watching the latest Adam Sandler hit, I would recommend that those of you who like your jokes simple, your characters stereotyped and your token old women smoking pot and break dancing check this out. "I Love You Baby...." is a song that many will recognise if you've ever been serenaded by a drunken phone call but only Heath Ledger does it justice in the comic hit 10 Things I Hate About You. Set in an American High School, new boy Cameron, played by Joseph Gordan-Hewitt falls for the very popular, ever so virginal Bianca (Larrissa Oleynik). The only thing that seems to stand in the way of their lust, sorry love, is her neurotic father, who will only let her date when her sister does. Based on Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew, Julia Stiles plays the ill-tempered Kat, who no one is brave enough to date. Cameron goes in search of Patrick Verona (Ledger), the one guy with an equally scary reputation to take on the task. Although Stiles and Ledger's performances are entertaining they can sometimes be seen as merely delivering their lines. It's the minor characters whose spot on one-liners really upstage them, and make this a hilarious hit film.
love and a sense of belonging. It is clear to see why the John Irving Novel became an instant success as a film. The heavy subject matter is tastefully conveyed and the love story allowed to shine through. The Cider House Rules is set to bring tears to your eyes and leave you with the feel good buzz.
GROSSE POINTE BLANK
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Kathryn Williams rosse Pointe Blank is my favourite film of recent years. Starring the enigmatic John Cusack (who also cowrote and co-produced) as Martin Q Blank, this blackest of comedies tells us of a professional hitman who is becoming disillusioned with his loner lifestyle. Co-starring Minnie Driver as the love interest, Alan Arkin as Blank’s Psychiatrist and Dan Aykroyd as a rival hitman, who steals almost every scene he appears in (really!). Of course it also stars Joan Cusack (a regular in most of her brother’s movies) as Blank’s secretary Marcella, who persuades him to attend his ten year high school reunion, while carrying out his last assignment. It is important to note that he hasn’t been home since he ran away on prom night and joined the army! Having watched this film more than a few times, I know the story fairly well, but just saying what happens will just spoil a film that must be watched! The dialogue is witty and fast moving, the script as a whole is clever and funny. The humour is dry and dark to which John Cusack is very well suited. He is excellent, he seems to be perfect in roles that require him to be clever and smart yet still uncertain of himself, with a dark side to boot. The Grifters
THE CIDER HOUSE RULES
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Kate Dorsett-Bailey et in Rural Maine in the mid 1940's The Cider House Rules is a heart warming story which teaches that destiny is uncontrollable, however much you fight it. During a period where abortions are illegal, St Clouds Orphanage provides a haven for expectant mothers who either want to leave a baby, or get rid of one. Homer Wells (Tobey Maguire) is the oldest unadopted resident of the orphanage, and is taken under the wing of Doctor Larch (Michael Caine), who teaches him to be of use provides him with the invaluable knowledge of medicine. Like most young adults however, Homer feels he needs to experience life for himself and goes instead to be "of use" in an orchard picking apples for a cider business. Here he falls in love with the beautiful Candy (Charlie Theron) and fills the gap of her boyfriend (Paul Rudd) who is away at war. It is in the simple apple picking buciness, so different from the toil of life inthe orphanage, that Homer learns the valuable lessons of life,
and more recently High Fidelity are both examples of the quality of an actor who managed to escape curse of the ‘Brat Pack’ era. The scenes between Cusack and Arkin are very funny, the almost neurotic gunman questioning the nervous shrink, then more or less answering his own questions. This film is definitely a modern classic, and is so underexposed despite overwhelming critical acclaim. It takes themes like romance/comedy/nostalgia and mixes them together with a new twist. It also has a cracking 80s sound track, none of the usual crap, and an original score by Joe Strummer of the Clash. You would have to be stupid or ignorant not to enjoy this funny witty and violent film. More from the rest of the team next week ...
15.10.01
filmreview/profiles
10
Promises, Promises, Promises THE PLEDGE Starring: Jack Nicholson, Benicio Del Toro, Patricia Clarkson, Beau Daniels Dir: Sean Penn 15, 124 mins
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Actor Profile: Jack Nicholson
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ACK NICHOLSON, it can be said, is one of Hollywood’s modern veterans. His trademark grin and menacing onscreen presence has captured audiences for the past thirty years, while at the same time his skills as an actor have won him much critical acclaim and awards. His first big screen outing was in 1958, when at the age of twenty-one he featured in The Cry Baby Killer under producer Roger Corman. The next ten years he was kept busy by starring in, writing and producing little known films such as Ride in the Whirlwind (1965), as well as a handful of TV appearances. His big break came when Rip Torn dropped out of the production Easy Rider. The film was a phenomenal success and earned Nicholson his first Oscar nomination for the role of the boozy southern lawyer. The 1970’s saw Nicholson cement his place in Hollywood’s memory. Five Easy Pieces (1970), The Last Detail (1973), and the excellent Chinatown, all won him Oscar nominations. He finally succeeded in 1975 due to his performance as Randall Patrick McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. His next notable film role was as the crazy caretaker in Stanley Kubrick’s adaptation of The Shining. It was seen as a tour-de-force performance by Nicholson, though by some critics rather over the top. During the 1980’s there were more Oscar nominations for Reds (1981), Heartburn (1986) and Ironweed. He won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role in Terms of Endearment (1983). At the end of the decade he took the role that would introduce him to a new generation of cinemagoers. As ‘the Joker’ in Tim Burton’s Batman (1989) he stole the film and used his distinctive ‘shark’s grin’ to its utmost effect. As well as stealing the film with his performance, Batman was a financial goldmine, with Nicholson ending up with $60,000,000 in total earnings. He followed up this lifetime performance by achieving his long term goal, to direct and star in the sequel to Chinatown; The Two Jakes (1990). A Few Good Men (1992) brought yet another Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor. In it he out performs his co-stars Tom Cruise and Demi Moore (although that could not be difficult) while only being on screen for a short time. After these box office hits he worked on a varied line of film roles, the biographical Hoffa , he was a werewolf in Wolf and his first collaboration with Sean Penn in the Crossing Guard. None of these were a spectacular success at the box office. Nicholson’s next notable role was in Mars Attacks, re-uniting him with director Tim Burton. He tackled dual roles, playing both President James Dale and Las Vegas gambler Art Land. 1997 saw another Oscar winning performance as the mean and neurotic, but redeemable, Melvin Udall in As Good As it Gets. His co-star Helen Hunt also walked away with an Oscar. Since As Good As It Gets Nicholson has had a break, returning only to the screen late last year in Velocity and this week in The Pledge. Directed by Sean Penn, Nicholson plays Detective Jerry Black, bound by a promise to protect a young girl from a murderer. With a filmography covering almost forty years, it is amazing to see that Nicholson is still going strong, with the strength and influence to pick and choose his roles and who he works with. Katheryn Williams
ISHERMAN AND ex-cop Gerry Black (Jack Nicholson) has something on his mind. On the night of his leaving do, he makes an early exit to assist his colleagues in the recovery of a 10 year old girl’s body in the snowy forest. The promise he makes to the girls parents later that night to find her attacker, haunts him as he attempts to retire, despite the rest of the department’s satisfaction with their conclusion. When I first saw the trailer for this film, my initial impressions were Scooby Doo meets Sixth Sense. I was right to a certain degree – there is definitely an eerie spiritual feeling to the plot, a mixture of little girls, fairy tales, giants, wizards and religion. Mental illness confronts Gerry at every turn and uses the audiences preconceptions about religious or mentally unstable people to fool us and turn those stereotypes on their heads. There are a number of scenes which stood out for me as particularly noteworthy. A scene where he tells the parents of their daughters death takes place in a barn where the turkeys are kept and is entirely free of dialogue, drowned out by the sound of thousands of turkeys gobbling. Strangely macabre can only describe the noise. Very clever though. A really nice touch.
The police’s prime suspect, Toby Wadenum, is magnificently acted by an almost unrecognisable Benicio Del Toro, whose manages to stir sympathy and bitter hatred simultaneously from the audience. Spectacular performances from both Jack and Robin Wright Penn who manages to pull off being minging for a whole ten minutes worth of film, with the help of a broken front tooth. Her husband, Sean Penn of Madonna fame, holds his own, directing and coproducing with thought and ingenuity, often reminiscent of the style of The Graduate. The camera angles are unusual and
the focus is either on subject or background, rarely both. Often what you want to see is out of focus and what you don’t want to see (the really gory bits) inescapably to the fore. He operates with stylised ugliness and attention to detail, such as the increasingly consuming cigarette habit of the main character to the point where you almost feel like you are smoking his fags. The cinematography is fantastic, with wide camera angles and breath-taking views of beautiful scenery. Despite a marketing campaign designed to try to scare people into going, The Pledge isn’t that scary. For those of you who scare easily you should be fine, the genre is, without doubt, thriller not horror. Having said that, those of you who prefer the later will not be disappointed either. The teeth gnashing ending is unpredictable and although some may consider disappointing, highly appropriate. It is very jumpy and gutwrenchingly chilling – I dare you to try and solve the mystery of the Porcupine Giant. Really one to get out and see. Emma Osborne
Director Profile: Sean Penn
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N A world where one low budget movie can earn any mainstream actor the debatable honour of maverick status (even Tom Cruise was granted the privilege for Magnolia), truly experimental actor-directors like Sean Penn are a welcome breath of fresh air. Born 41 years ago in Santa Monica, California, Penn’s acting credits span 38 roles which include last year’s Woody Allen helmed Sweet And Lowdown and the critically acclaimed classic Carlito’s Way alongside film legend Al Pacino. Since bursting on the scene in Fast Times At Ridegemont High, Penn has consistently permeated all his characters with the same understated menace and unease. Unsurprisingly his transition into directing has thus far been underpinned by the same edgy discontent. The Indian Runner (1991), his first directorial outing, also represented his first tentative steps toward screenwriting. The boy who spent most of his childhood filming Super8 home movie with Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez finally had the opportunity to execute his own vision from behind the camera. Subsequent to the films release there was much speculation that the tempestuous fraternal relationship between the two protagonists was a thinly veiled reflection of Penn’s own home life, specifically the love-hate roller coaster which allegedly exists between
himself and younger brother actor Chris. However at this time, Penn was best known for a rather more famous failed relationship. His three year marriage to Madonna, which formally ended in 1988,
had impacted heavily upon his career. The negative publicity surrounding the split was compounded by a 60 day jail sentence for assault. Perhaps it was the unsympathetic reaction of the Hollywood machine, during these darker days, which cemented Penn’s contempt for commercialism in film. Even his harshest critics were forced to acknowledge that The Indian Runner and The Crossing
Guard (1995) demonstrated his gift for carefully crafted character study, while strongly resisting the false drama of studio blockbusters. The latter was also his first collaboration with Jack Nicholson, star of this months The Pledge. On a strikingly similar premise to this latest offering scary-Jack played Freddie Gale a jeweller who has sworn to take revenge on the drink driver who killed his daughter much credit was given to Nicholson for his measured and haunting performance, it was however Penn’s direction which transformed a plot based loosely on the Bruce Springsteen song Highway Patrol Man into a taut and sophisticated thriller. Eventually the Penn cannon was given the seal of approval from the very establishment it had always rejected. Nevertheless, he could not resist one more dig. Accepting his Independent Spirit Award he struck the proverbial boot into Sally Fields much maligned Oscar speech with the immortal words "Tolerate me ... you really tolerate me." These days the rebel without a budget appears to have mellowed. His second marriage, to 80’s icon Robin Wright, has produced two children, Dylan and Hopper, and the man who forged a career on railing against the sell-outs is due to make a guest appearance on the new series of Friends. So much for the revolution. Claire Malcolm
musicsingles/albums LO-FIDELITY ALLSTARS Lo-fi’s in Ibiza (Skint) WITH A departure from the previous compulsory dark and sinister leanings of the Lofis hedonistic throbbings, Lofi’s in Ibiza has a slick funky disco feel. Perhaps from the presence of disco-diva vocals or maybe it’s just that the Lo-Fi’s are livin’ it up in Ibiza. This demands that you get down and boogie whilst the amount of attitude the bassline serves up will leave you scowling at the DJ and spitting on the floor. These brazen beats don’t claim any new ground for the Lo-fi’s sound since the whirling outburst of Voodoo House on last years Ghost Mutt E.P. Still the dub mix manages to take the party to the level of stomping mash-up that it deserves to be. Kathryn Archer
Canine It!
LORIEN Shivering Sun (Instant Karma)
but a run of the mill Cranberries song is far better than much of today’s chart music. You know what to expect, Dolores O’Riordan’s inimitable voice combined with the usual guitars and drumbeats. It’s no Zombie or Linger but it’s still a good song, if a little poppier than usual.The tune doesn’t go anywhere in particular and there’s not much distinction between verse and chorus, but in some cases this can benefit a song and this is definitely the case with Analyse. Aled Wynne
FRIGID VINEGAR Diddleysquat (EMI)
OH, HELLO, I thought The Motorhomes had split up! Well, actually they have, but their spirit lives on here. Gentle guitar raindrops herald the start of this precious little tune, which sways lazily along for four minutes, asking ‘Where have you gone?’ and ‘What have I done?’ Nothing to offend, I assure you Mr. Lorien singer. A gentle, wistful chorus, with just a hint of underlying electrical power, and the guy even has a charming inability to pronounce ‘sh’. Hardly world-changing stuff, but very likeable. Mark Cobley
THE CAMPAIGN begins here, oh my brothers and sisters. Only through collective action can we succeed in our mission to bring ska to the foreground of popular music. The first step, from where we must continue, has been taken by Oxford-based skankers Frigid Vinegar. Their latest offering may not have the power of The Specials and other associated twotoners, but buy it for nothing else than to make you laugh. A cynical sideswipe at mass-media game shows, or just mindless drivel- you decide: “Stand up if you want to win a million, jump up if you want to win two”. So buy it and love it, for it is ska. Andrew Davidson
THE CRANBERRIES Analyse (Island)
SAMMO HUNG Hit The Konvulsator (Townhill Records)
EVERYONE’S FAVOURITE fruit–based band are back with another catchy, singalong tune. Admittedly, there’s no new ground trodden here,
HMMM. WHAT can I say? Imagine 12 year old Britney and Christina having a fight on the set of the Disney club. Images of Alvin and the
musicalbums
11
RIGHT SAID FRED Fredhead (RCA)
PITY THE oft-misunderstood genre of the comedy record. But lo! Mincing to the rescue comes the er, long awaited new Fredhead. Germany understands this, hence Right Said Fred keeping David Hasselhoff from the top of their charts this summer. Back home, it’s like they’ve never been away since the formula remains the same: apparently improvised rhymes over bontempi-like eurodisco beat. And sod credibility, let alone commercialism when you’re onto such a winner. The only odd concession here being that all songs are somewhat dubiously addressed to a girlfriend. More bizarrely, they still look exactly the same as you remember. But then they always did look like pensioners pumped full of steroids. You’ve got to love any album opening with ‘Aaargh’ll tell you what I think/ I think she’s a cow’. What a mighty single You’re My Mate is, accompanied by the most camp (read greatest) video since Bowie met Jagger and they pranced
R.S.F: a picture can say a 1000 words...
down the street in complimenting silk jumpsuits. Adding whistling, a choir and the by now inevitable bagpipes only reinforce their genius. If your sides have recovered, the Freds proceed to take in the memorable Funk You (sample line: ‘Girlfriend/ Fancy a lager/ Or would you prefer a Pina Colada’), cybersex (Lovers.com), a couple of approximations of Lover’s Rock and they even find time to rework old fave, I’m Too Sexy, along with the genuine daft pop classic, Don’t Talk Just Kiss. A fitting work then, to remember last year’s legendary appearance at Brannigan’s. What? You missed it? It was only £2! Sadly, of course, Fredhead is destined to become a lost gem, which is a shame since its mastery of high camp disco should make Kylie’s bared buttocks blush with shame. Get this record, if only to dig out for your future grandkids. Especially since it’s likely to make its way all too hastily to Woolworth’s bargain bin. Nick Mcdonald
AKA Pigeonomics (Things to Come) THERE’S this guy right, and he’s from Scotland right , but he’s called Future Pilot AKA , so don’t get confused!This happy chappy is called plain AKA and although he tries hard, he mostly fails to produce an album of much worth. You Been Sold is a repetitive big-beat trawling of all things cheese-funked in music history. On Make It Nice AKA thinks he is a cross between Barry White and Ricky Martin as he sings “I’m gonna make it nice, do you want it hard, do you want it slow?” Eeurgh...What on earth could he mean? He really is pushing the social limit with Say Yes in which he reasons “Why don’t you and me just do it.....say yes.” Not really as slick as Tricky or black stallion and lady’s man Roots Manuva but it does get better. Starz is a shouty, uplifting glam gospel send-up of an anthem with a similar vibe to The New Radicals about the superficial delights of celebdom. Junky
Chipmunks come flooding back... It sounds like it should be quite bad but I like it. I think. Genre? Hard to say exactly but I’d go for poppy punk/punky pop. I didn’t quite catch the lyrics but with this, but I don’t think they matter too much. Watch out for the screaming. Cool. Cheers. Ed Holmes
THA DOGG POUND Just Doggin’ (Death Row Records) FOLLOWING ON from tracks like Oh No and The Next Episode, Nate Dogg delivers another of his irresistible choruses on Tha Dogg Pound’s Just Doggin’. With that clean and heavy beat T.D.P:Smokin’; not big or clever.... characteristic of many Death Row releases, Just Doggin’ bounces for Craig David’s 7 Days – why else would their along in a perfectly acceptable and enjoyable new single be formed around a day by day way, although it’s difficult not to feel that it relies account of a relationship. Of course, being on an already overused, if successful, formula. indie-types and not smooth operators, it’s about On the flip, the track What Would You Do, the end of a relationship rather than getting describing a meeting with a ‘m*therf*cker jiggy. Poor lads. named Dr Dre’, (and unsurprisingly mixed by Musically it’s pretty much typical, but still rather the man himself) is more entertaining if less good Beta Band stuff with a nod to tracks like immediate. Altogether this release isn’t bad, but Dry The Rain and Dr. Baker from The 3EP’s. Just Doggin’ is really just a pop song at heart. Unfortunately it’s still not as good as Squares Paul Sloman. the original first single from their new album, (which was pulled due to having used the same THE BETA BAND samples as that I Monster track) but in a much Human Being more inventive way to create a gem of a track. (Regal) The campaign to get them to re-release it starts here… THE BETA Band have obviously got a soft spot Andy Parsons is a brooding, atmospheric affair with Easterninfluenced guitars and Massive Attack-style vocals.The gospel influence re-appears on The Thundering Mantis, a schizophrenic track which jumps into breakbeat sections. It all sounds crazier when you find out the song is about him waking up to find, you guessed it, a thundering mantis in his room. Your Vision Of The Future is the last track and probably also the best, where dubbed-out snare drums are textured with electronics and deep bass - Morcheeba without Skye Edwards. The rest of the album doesn’t really do much, in parts folksy, poppy, soulful and quite chilled out. Nothing really stands out. AKA goes through too many styles and fails to bind the songs together as an album. Though he does seem to sound best on the downbeat hip-hop tracks, it seems he may be destined to remain anonymous. Pauline Cheung
PLAYGROUP Playgroup (Source)
OF COURSE it’s all Daft Punk’s fault. They become robots for their second album and start making 80’s cheesy electro-synth music popular again and the imitators start crawling out of the woodwork. Playgroup are just like that. Taking 70’s funk, house music, rap, dub and electro and throwing it all into a big melting pot, they’ve come up with an interesting concoction, albeit one that has a distinct whiff of cheese about it. Trevor Jackson is the mind behind this project, a name not meaning much to most, but in his more well known guise as The Underdog, has remixed and produced some fantastic hip hop tracks. So what the fuck is he doing playing with disco music? Perhaps it’s just to have a bit of fun. There’s certainly a light hearted feel to some of the tracks. Other parts of the album are quite dark though, especially when Peaches is around adding her sultry vocals or the bizarre Medicine Man where Edwyn Collins tries to convince us he’s a voodoo priest. This album is not the easiest to get into and some of the funk tracks don’t really work at all. New single Number One is a highlight and the closing cover of Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave
Your Lover raises a smile, although it sounds remarkably like a mid 90’s Stereo MC’s. Perhaps if I give this album more time to digest, it will improve. But at the moment the view through the square window is an extremely disappointing one. Andy Parsons
SET FIRE TO FLAMES Sings Reign Rebuilder (130701)
AAH WELL another week, another Godspeed You Black Emperor! side project. Boasting 13 members, many of whom play in Godspeed or Godspeed-affiliated side projects such as Silver Mt. Zion, Fly Pan Am, etc. Set Fire To Flames are the latest Canadian collective to explore the outer reaches of post-rock. The idea of the project was to see what could be produced when the band locked themselves and their instruments in a house for 5 days – with tapes continually recording their evolving work. Thankfully this recording is only a 75minute edit of those 5 days, not the full works. Like the more ‘challenging’ segments on Godspeed’s albums or the work of Fly Pan Am, sections of this album are basically just strange noises melting in and out of the background, occasionally finding a melody or rhythm that suits it for a brief while, before discarding it and starting again. Other parts though, are lovely constructed pieces like the lilting mellowness of Drive North, the Morricone blues of Omaha… or the sublime beauty of Love Song for 15 Ontario. And of course there are the compulsory field recordings of Canadian nutbags that give the album it’s vocal texture and unsettling edge. It’s hard to criticise the album for lacking focus, which it does in places, because that’s part of the whole project. Apparently the album is 40% composed and 60% improvised live. The good thing is that plenty of the supposedly improvised pieces work so well that you could think they had been worked on for months. So once again an album perfectly suited to a post-apocalyptic world of broken radios and tv static. Not a great place to start to become familiar with the wonderful works of the Montreal music scene, but for the initiated it’s another gem to discover and enjoy. Andy Parsons
15.10.01
musiclive
GUY GARVEY: Very big lungs
TIME FLIES – GRAND OPENING PARTY Solus WHY IS it that whenever a big name DJ is scheduled to spin his vinyl collection at Solus that something goes wrong? When Judge Jules sessioned Solus last term, his set lasted all of 10 minutes. This evening Dave Pearce didn’t show, apparently due to illness. Despite this, the evening’s events were set to be enjoyable, especially when random people (with extremely dilated pupils) approach you with sporadic conversation. Students eh!? Solus itself was experiencing a slow start due to the lack of real numbers here and the fact that the earlier sets were, frankly, lame and uninspiring compared to the sonically dynamic treats of the Drum and Bass room (in association with the One Mission crew). Omega 2 made the small crowd put aside any of pre-emptions to just dance wildly to an onslaught of stylus upon vinyl. Later on, Raeph Powell (Silent Running) ticked over some ‘phat’ tracks and melodies. It was only at this point that the main room started to seduce more clubbers to the breathen of its dance floor thanks to the capable hands of the Time Flies residents. Those being Richard Hitchell and Ian Dundgey, who amongst his mixes used Madonna samples and actually made them sound good! Hitchell is a busy man of late, what with coheadlining the recent Gatecrasher launch party at The Coal Exchange whilst working on new material. Nonetheless, he finished the night with an upbeat set, mixing the best of Hard House with Euphoric and banging Trance tracks to have the glow stick contingent doing their usual lanky impersonations of a strobe light on acid. This is a new monthly event so any excuse to not attend this term should mark you out as spent! All the Students Union has to do now is sort out a late license to avoid the anti-climax that is a 1am closure. Rich ‘David’ Moore
AEREOGRAMME Barfly AEREOGRAMME MAY be big and beardy but that’s where the clichés end. They are the Brian Blessed of Post-Rock. Arguably the most promising name in the Delgados’ Chemikal Underground stable, here, they return to Cardiff to promote their excellent new release, A Story In White. A clue as to what is about to unfold presents itself in the bear of a bassist’s Slayer tour Tshirt. We’re not disappointed. Refreshingly unpretentious, Aereogramme debunk just about every criticism of this precious genre. Keeping a jovial rapport with the audience, they use more conventional vocals, along with regular bursts into Metal chords: none more so than with the short, twisted and explosive finale of Shouting
ELBOW/GOLDRUSH Bristol Anson Rooms
‘A
VERAGE’ IS the word for Goldrush. They come out tonight, in the shadow of the forthcoming brilliance that is Elbow, and perform a competent but average set. The problem is their music is middle of the road and, dare I say it, more pop than rock. However, although young, the band comes across as an experienced outfit, always confident and comfortable on the stage. They are also well received by the majority of the crowd, although the majority of the crowd is also drunk. Despite this, however well the music is performed, there is simply nothing there to make me want to do anything more than nod my head and tap my foot. However, all is not lost. Feeling let down by Goldrush something is needed to make up for my sense of dissatisfaction. At first this is solved visually. Upon the large screen positioned behind the stage a familiar image is projected. It is the street outside that leads up to the Anson Rooms. The camera shot then slowly
for Joey. This is Rawk Action, if you like. As such, look here if you’ve previously found Post-Rock hard to approach. There’s something for everyone. Forget ‘quiet is the new loud’. You can have it all. However, if you prefer pretension, tonight’s support, Kardomah are fairly amusing. “Hello Cardiff! We are Kardomah!”,which precedes some voiceover announcing that “Some of us dare to live the dream”. Or some such anyway. For half an hour it’s as if irony doesn’t exist. A parade of bizarre rock posturing and what can only be described as a racket. Which only serves to make us appreciate the headliners all the more, who along with the mighty Lift To Experience, perhaps offer a new dimension to Post-Rock. Nick McDonald
THIRTEEN:13 Barfly FRESH FROM the festival fields of Reading and Leeds 2001, the practically silent and searching indie scene was at last provided with a glimpse of hope for revival with the appearance of Thirteen:13. The evening standard was set by Welsh support Jylt, who with their unique melodic rock and tight harmonic vocals of the fronting females, provided a sound which wrapped itself tightly around the venue. Retrospect conveyed the rare flair of a tight and steady foursome. With their second performance at the Barfly, the ‘Fall on Me ’ tour with a mesmerising and powerful impact, certainly stamping their mark
takes us up the street, enters the Anson Rooms, ascends the spiral staircase in the foyer and finally enters the concert hall, filming the stage just as Elbow step up. Nice touch lads. The display manages to capture the feeling of the audience perfectly; that something great, worth waiting for, is about to happen. Then just before the band burst into album-opener Any Day Now frontman Guy mutters ‘It’s a
one could ask for from a gig; Guy interacts with the crowd and makes us laugh, we are played a new song as well as outstanding b-side George Lassos the Moon. The songs are all excellently performed but not to the point where they seem mechanical; still with a passion that you can not receive from a hi-fi unit, only from a stage. So by the end of the relatively
‘Atmosphere’ is the word for Elbow’s set tonight. They are able to create an amazing feeling of euphoria in the room beautiful day, a beautiful day’ before the whole hall is consumed by the blistering rhythms of the set opener. ‘Atmosphere’ is the word for Elbow’s set tonight. They are able to create an amazing feeling of euphoria in the room, which is what live music is all about. If it is the fragility of songs such as Red and Powder Blue or the raw electric anger of Bitten by the Tailfly and Coming Second, the band seem to create the related sensations with aplomb. We are given everything
on Cardiff. In contrast the Fantastic Superfoofs hardly blasted the evening with originality, providing a tried and tested form of indie, which satisfied some but left half the audience sitting at the bar. The night was finally drawn together by the entrance of Thirteen:13, who needed no introduction to the thirsty crowd. Opening with I Need An Army, they laid the foundation for a set that was to bring the crowd flocking to the stage. With a flowing and rhythmic sound, it was the certainly the lead vocals that brought this band together into something different. Thirteen:13 attracted the hardly the major crowd but nevertheless certainly seemed to impress and capture the attentions of both the avid fans and the slightly less familiar. With their light mix of light rock and indie waiting to attack the pubic, hopefully their sense of individuality will escape the indie genre and emerge into a new sound of its own. Liz Gibbons
SPIRITULIZED Bristol Colston Hall TONIGHT IS no easy ride, and no hits by numbers set. Onstage facing sideways, Jason Pierce’s posture reflects the inherent distance he places between himself and everyone around him. Somewhat bizarrely, amidst a whirlwind of sound from plentiful accompanying band members, he manages to look as isolated as a solo artist. Opening with an understated Cop Shoot Cop, the visuals of a blackened half globe and
Well Hung
SAMMO HUNG Barfly
FAMILIARITY NEEDN’T necessarily breed contempt as Sammo Hung demonstrate, in possibly their billionth Cardiff gig. Once again, they offer an all too brief masterclass in the wonders that may be wrought from three chords in two minutes. Always exhilarating, they prove that consistency can indeed be a virtue. Here, they keep it to a half-hour headline slot, which is disappointingly short for this audience. Nevertheless, they are blessed with an engaging frontwoman in Jemma Roper, whose amiable growl lifts them above the usual punky chord fayre. This is ably shown in the short sharp shock of the closing Random S.O.B, of a gig which heralds their forthcoming 7”. Out on Town Hill this features Hit the Konvulsator, along with the brilliantly angry Who Do You Work For? Somewhat less impressive are Salon Kitty, whose rough and ready approach deals with their influences on a track by track basis. This becomes very tiresome, very quickly after their (dare I say it) sub-Muse opener. However, they improve very rapidly, taking in The Clash before sticking to the American Garage that they do best. Those who recall the excellent Twee Rule The School DJs, read on, for this was the launch night of their new project ‘The Style’ at Barfly. Continuing fortnightly, they provide a pleasing mix of camp and cool, juxtaposing Bananarama with Stereolab. A vast improvement on most pisspoor weekend club nights. Nick McDonald
short hour-long set, I am perfectly content with the evening. The disappointing Goldrush no longer bother me; I am quite frankly overwhelmed by the brilliance of Elbow’s performance. As I recover the steps earlier shown on the large screen behind the stage and leave the building, all I can think about is every beautiful second of every beautiful song, which made a beautiful finish to, as Guy pointed out, ‘a beautiful day’. Jamie Grierson
spotlights as a backdrop transcend immediate atmosphere. Disintegrating into melancholic baseness, the turn then to the fucked-up mashing of Electricity has little of the expected highlight charisma. Despite an eye-watering light show, and being one of the ‘tunes’ of the night, its enthusiasm is overhauled by an air of insincerity. Instead it is the sonic edge and sounds of brass and slickly-achieved arrangements that have the edge. Shine A Light crescendos frantically in a build-up of layers and speed. Tracks from the new album, Let It Come Down, are aired with phenomenal confidence. Out of Sight and the magnified lazy swing of The Straight And The Narrow, concrete the man as master of song–writing. Rightly so, the country riff and harmonica of the phenomenal Don’t Just Do Something, is played with an air of completion. And although at times the lashings of noise and concentrated instrumentals nears selfindulgence, each time the set responds just in time by changing the dynamics. Thus the encore sees the euphoria of Come Together immediately replied to with a desolate nursing of the musical delicacies of Lord Can You Hear Me. And this is where they leave you stranded. Emotive, dominant and downright hostile in mass proportions, Pierce is an argumentative bastard if he’s like his live set. Never giving you quite what you want, and telling you in a roundabout way to fuck off, perhaps he’s right to. After all, with a set like this, he seems to know better. Gemma Curtis
PIC: Mikey P
PIC: Mikey P
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Sammo: Hung like a donkey
musicinterviews
13
Just falling short of Mercury, but landing in Bristol, we understand the melancholy and infinite sadness of Newborn five piece Elbow as Paul Barnett makes no bones about asking a band that are top of the newest tree in British music whether they are driving in the fast lane or just asleep in the back.....
Fancy a Joint? woke within me that you can be a superhero.” After an hour spent with Garvey and guitarist Mark Potter, it is apparent that Elbow aim to have exactly the same effect on their audience as Unbreakable had on Guy – to awaken longforgotten emotion. The title of the album, for instance, is deliberately evocative. “Asleep in the Back is supposed to be when you’re a kid, when you’re coming back from holiday at night and you’re asleep in the back of your folks car. It feels so safe, mum and dad are in control, it’s alright, I can kip here”. From listening to their debut album you’d find it hard to believe what charming, funny, upbeat men Elbow are. They’re often called ‘miserabilists’, a tag which doesn’t sit so easily as Elbow see no direct correlation between the sadness inherent in their music and the way that it makes you feel. The sort of chirpy pop that the
G
OLDRUSH, TO most of us, is a new name in the music world. However, they are certainly not new to the whole music scene. Coming out of various country villages surrounding Oxford, they are a product of hard work and determination. At first the five piece were not as one but divided; they played in separate bands but due to their location were limited to playing the same clubs. Robin, lead singer and guitarist, looks back on all his experiences in bands as worthwhile, as does Jeff, keyboard player in the band. Their first major glimpse at the rock world beyond Oxford came in the form of Whispering Bob, the band that formed the penultimate line up to Goldrush. Playing support slots with Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci around the country, prospects appeared encouraging. However, differences in the band left them unable to carry on as Whispering Bob and they had to rearrange themselves once again. A few new additions were made to replace those who had left and the band needed a new name. Of course, the name change was a decisive one, as Robin
GRiP
pointed out. “There were different people, making different music, so a different name just felt right’ and so Goldrush were formed.” As Goldrush, the band produced their music themselves on a record label Robin set up, given the name Truck Records. This was relatively successful, with national distribution of their music and one of their singles selling over a thousand copies. The band were adamant, though, that they would do what they wanted, in their own time. The record deal they signed with Virgin Records was a result of “them coming to us”as they proudly point out and their current success is a result of the complimentary words spread by those who have seen them live. They appear both proud of this but also feel that it was inevitable, Robin pointing out that “record labels are like girls”, then adding with a grin, “if you don’t seem interested, they come to you.” Today, they are three dates into a tour with Elbow, tonight playing the Bristol Anson Rooms. Robin and Jeff both see this as no different to life on the road before, they are there to send out the message and
keep the word spreading. They know how difficult it is to describe their own music, avoiding the question respectfully, trying not to list influences or suggest any direction, they just want the music to speak for itself. Robin mentions that he has recently been listening to Spiritualised and Neil Young, two very different artists. I guess whether or not they creep through in the music of Goldrush is up to the listener (I for one, cannot hear them…at all). So now they have finally achieved their first goal, the record deal, what comes next? Going with the general attitude they appear to take on almost everything, they seem pretty relaxed about the future. They clearly understand there is a great amount of touring, recording and promoting to do but still they aim to do it as they wish, avoiding pressure at all costs. Robin claims “we can’t write under pressure, we couldn’t just write a hit single if ordered to, we take our time but the hits do come.” The band’s confident and comfortable stance comes through when they later perform. There are no dates for singles and albums yet, although spring 2002 is a rough estimate given. Whatever the music Goldrush produce sounds like, whether you like it or not, they are a band that prove that unconventional methods can work if you stick to them. To get where you want, doing what you want, when you want, is very respectful indeed.
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Newly acclaimed yet never more acquainted, Goldrush; tonight’s support choice for Elbow, fall asleep in the back of the Anson Rooms with Jamie Grierson as he asks them just how gold are the streets they are paving...
Stereophonics churn out “depresses the living after 6 weeks, the song meant so much to them, shit” out of Guy, so why should his music make it was played at the baby’s cremation. For Guy, you feel any better? this was a humbling experience. “It’s not designed to make people feel sad, “You don’t feel worthy but at the same time it’s designed to comfort “If you are in your darkest people who perhaps get melancholy. If you are in hour and you feel fucking your darkest hour and alone in your plight, it’s good you feel fucking alone in your plight, it’s good to to know someone else feels know someone else has the same way, that’s a felt that same way, that’s a positive thing.” positive thing.” This isn’t something that Guy takes lightly though. New single you feel massively privileged that somebody’s Newborn had a profound effect on two of their listened to you in that way. To be involved in fans that will stay with them forever. The couple somebody’s life in that way is scary.” So maybe were pregnant upon first hearing the song and Guy has more superhero qualities than he first instantly fell in love with it. When the baby died thought?
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THE SORT of success that Elbow have had in the last 12 months can do strange things to a man. Massive critical acclaim for their debut album, virtually no bad reviews, a Mercury Music Prize nomination and a heap of interest from America would be enough to swell anyone’s ego, but surely singer Guy Garvey has gone too far this time? “I’ve got some media attention at the minute, I could save the world!” Could it be that success has divorced Garvey from reality so much so that he considers himself superhuman? Fortunately not, for Garvey and his band have their feet planted firmly on the ground and he’s gushing about believable superhero movie Unbreakable. “Unbreakable woke something up within me that had been dormant since I was 12 or 13, it
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15 October
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6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Real Rooms 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 Wipeout 12.30 Doctors 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News and Weather 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Diagnosis Murder 2.55 Birds of a Feather 3.25 Pingu 3.30 Tweenies 3.50 The Woody Woodpecker Show 4.10 The Cramp Twins 4.20 Eureka TV 4.35 The Queen's Nose 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours Lou and Harold become housemates. Is that a euphemism? If so it gets a fnarr. Probably not though. Hello for another week.
6.00 Open University 7.00 Potsworth and Co 7.25 Arthur 7.50 DIY TV 8.10 Brum 8.20 Little Bear 8.45 64 Zoo Lane 9.00 Tweenies 9.40 Playdays 10.00 Teletubbies 10.50 Schools 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Sn**ker: LG Cup We can’t even be bothered to slate sn**ker today. We do however have to hand the BOMB to JT Mouse; Cardiff house soon-to-be-superstars who still let TV Desk into places for free; those girls who got really excited when Debaser came on; Will and Katie; and anyone who can tell me what I was doing last night. You guys all SLAY.
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Watch to Win 9.30 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1.05 Shortland Street 1.35 The Biggest Game in Town 2.05 Crossroads 2.35 The Bill 3.05 ITV News Headlines 3.10 HTV News and Weather 3.15 Animal Stories 3.20 Mopatop's Shop 3.30 Angelina Ballerina 3.45 Cardcaptors 4.15 The Quick Trick Show 4.35 Two of a Kind 5.05 Crossroads Tracey hits the bottle after being rejected by Bradley. I have no idea who Tracey is but she can come for a pint with me if she wants. 5.35 Nuts and Bolts
6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 The Big Breakfast 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Suddenly Susan 12.30 Planed Plant: Pei Pwmpan 12.45 Planed Plant: Miffi 1.00 Creme de la Creme 1.20 FILM: The Tall Target 2.45 A Place in the Sun 3.15 Watercolour Challenge 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Planed Plant: Uned 5 5.15 Planed Plant: Ffeil 5.30 Tell It to Me Straight Today, JJR Nacallows discovers that everyone is out to get him, especially that guy who keeps looking at him over there, and they all know.
6.00 ITN News Channel 7.00 Milkshake! 7.05 Havakazoo 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.00 Beachcomber Bay 9.30 The Powerpuff Girls 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 Family Law 12.00 5 News 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.35 FILM: A Dream of Kings 5.25 Vox Pop Randoms spout off about terrorism. We’re still hoping Uncle Ossie’s fit sister (the one on the far left in that family photo) turns up in Popscene soon. 5.30 5 News
6.00 BBC News; Weather 6.30 Wales Today 7.00 X Ray Jane Harvey, Tanni Grey-Thompson and Rupert Moon present a series which aims to tackle wrongdoers and dodgy dealers. That’s very publically-minded of you guys. But unless you can PROVE that those pants were never worn by Japanese schoolgirls, you can’t touch me. So feel my fists. 7.30 Holiday 8.00 EastEnders Although Billy's party does not go exactly according to plan, he has a surprise for Janine. Fnarr. 8.30 Changing Rooms 9.00 Sweet Revenge Twopart thriller about Ellen, who attends a ‘revenge school’ to learn how to exact revenge on her errant ex-boyfriend, Peter. Revenge is cool. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News and Weather 10.35 Living with Cancer: Second Time 11.15 FILM: A Vow to Kill Thriller about a widow who marries a handsome photographer and then gets caught up in some sort of kidnap plot. This sounds mince. 12.55 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 The Simpsons Homer and Marge recount how Lisa came to be the owner of a saxophone. Is this the one when she meets Bleeding Gums Murphy? In that case... “I guess I should go to the dentist, but I got enough pain in my life as it is.” 6.20 Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 6.45 Sn**ker: LG Cup 7.30 Class Act Docusoap about trainee teachers. 8.00 University Challenge 8.30 What the Victorians Did for Us: Making it Big Featuring William Armstrong, who installed a swing bridge in Newcastle, Otis whose lift made the skyscraper possible, and celebrated portrait painter Hector Fundament who captured the first ever DVDA scene on canvas. 9.00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks With guests Brian Molko, Roger Sanchez, Tony Mortimer and Jon Culshaw. Humourless midget, boring overrated house merchant, washed-up loser and random cunt. Nice one guys. 9.30 'orrible 10.00 Coupling 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Sn**ker: LG Cup 12.00 Despatch Box 12.30 BBC Learning Zone
6.00 HTV News and Weather 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Rodney is forced to take up Ray's offer. Fnarr. I thought this said ‘otter’ when I first read it. 7.30 Coronation Street 8.00 Trauma Team Ludicrously titled rubbernecking of injured kiddies and the like. 8.30 House of Horrors MORE dodgy builders shite. 9.00 Denis Norden's 6th Laughter File 10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.20 Bob and Rose 11.20 HTV News and Weather 11.30 Big Bad World 12.05 The Premiership 1.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.25 Nationwide Football League Extra 2.05 Young, Gifted and Broke 2.30 Trisha 3.30 The Web Review 3.55 Box Office America 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News Gates just came in and told me that we watched a Chemikal Underground video (does such a thing really exist?) at Will’s, and then The Year Punk Broke. Gutted, I’ve wanted to watch that for years and then when I do I can’t remember.
6.00 Newyddion 6 News 6.10 Heno 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion News 8.00 Ydy Coleg Yn Gret 8.30 Pobl y Glannau 9.00 Taro Naw 9.30 Sgorio 10.35 Plague, Fire, War and Treason: A Century of Troubles: The Great Plague 12.05 Lost 12.35 Hollyoaks: Movin' On 1.25 FILM: Tales from the Crypt 2.50 Football Italia – La Partita 4.00 Schools
6.00 Home and Away Hayley is determined to come between Mitch and Brodie. Fnarr. 6.30 Family Affairs 7.00 Toyota World of Wildlife: Cats Wildlife documentary looking at the various members of the cat family. Cats are bomb, even ones which are sponsored by Toyota. 7.30 5 News 8.00 Secrets of World War II: The Enigma Secret This programme looks at the capture of the German ‘Enigma’ code machine. Initially regarded as infallible, its secrets were revealed by an Allied-built decoding computer. 8.30 The Most Evil Men in History: Pol Pot See the genocidal Preview. 9.00 FILM: The Vanishing Ford: “Shitty remake”; Pearlo: “Awesome”. 11.10 Dr Fox's Chart Update 11.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.10 American Football: NFL Update 12.45 Moto GP: Qantas Australian Grand Prix 3.15 FedEx Cart 4.45 Motor Sport: World Cup Rally Motorsport 5.10 European PGA Seniors Golf
CH4. As S4C except: 6.00 Tales of a Wise King 9.30 4Learning 12.00 Montel 12.35 Suddenly Susan 1.00 Cheers 1.30 FILM: Tiara Tahiti 3.45 4.15 5.00 A Place in the Sun 5.25 Tell It to Me Straight 6.00 Friends 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Escape from Colditz: The Escape Academy 9.00 Plague, Fire, War and Treason: A Century of Troubles: The Great Plague Look at the four elements in that title. Does one seem a bit of an odd one out to you? Treason, it’ll be the death of us all. 10.35 Lost 11.05 Hollyoaks: Movin' On 11.55 Stephen King's It 1.40 FILM: Vor (Aka: The Thief) 3.25 Chef for a Night 4.00 4Learning
Evening
Monday 15 October
Bob and Rose ITV 10.20pm
BBC 1
Daytime
Today’s Highlights
Living With Cancer BBC1 10.35pm
16
The Thief Channel 4 1.40am
STAYING IN TONIGHT? Call for the latest student deals
CHOICE The Most Evil Men In History: Pol Pot Channel 5, 8.30pm
(029) 2022 9977
62 CRWYS ROAD, CARDIFF
GRiP
Would we be right in suspecting that C5 mandarins are currently scrabbling around compiling Osama bin Laden footage to tack onto the end of this
series? It wouldn’t surprise us. But to give the politics of evil some sort of perspective, this week we look at Pol Pot, the leader of Cambodia’s communist, murderous and racially motivated Khmer Rouge. An estimated two million dead under his regime – best illustrated by photos of the huge piles of skulls – stands as testament to the dangers of unchecked power in the hands of total psychopaths. 15.10.01
Television
17
16 October
Tuesday HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Real Rooms 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 Wipeout 12.30 Doctors 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News and Weather 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Diagnosis Murder 2.55 Birds of a Feather 3.25 Pingu 3.30 Tweenies 3.50 The Woody Woodpecker Show 4.10 UBOS 4.35 So Little Time 5.00 Byker Grove Ollie and Teraise's wedding day is threatened by family tragedy and a lovesick best man. Lovesick or hungover? You decide. 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours Flick confronts Joel. Dione and Tess face off. Now! That’s more like it – that sounds properly rude. Fnarr!
6.00 Open University 7.00 The Magical Adventures of Quasimodo 7.25 Arthur 7.50 Blue Peter 8.10 Binka 8.20 Little Bear 8.45 64 Zoo Lane 9.00 Tweenies 9.40 Playdays 10.00 Teletubbies 10.50 Schools 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Snooker: LG Cup 2.40 Assembly Live 3.20 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 3.30 Sn**ker: LG Cup Aaargh! Merciful God protect us. I come in from a hard day’s work to write these listings and look – acres of space to fill because half-witted BBC mandarins have seen fit to broadcast bloody sn**oker. Hmm...turn to Wednesday or Thursday and I’ll try to think of some jokes to put here.
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Watch to Win 9.30 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1.05 Shortland Street 1.35 The Biggest Game in Town 2.05 Crossroads 2.35 The Bill 3.05 ITV News Headlines 3.10 HTV News and Weather 3.15 Animal Stories 3.20 Mopatop's Shop 3.30 Angelina Ballerina 3.45 Cardcaptors 4.15 The Quick Trick Show 4.35 Two of a Kind 5.05 Crossroads Virginia arranges a romantic weekend away for her and John, but receives some devastating news. No fnarrs – but a big shout out to ex-editor Vicky who’s come back to make sure we’re doing some work. 5.35 The People Versus
6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 The Big Breakfast 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Suddenly Susan 12.30 Planed Plant: Rhacsyn a'r Goeden Hud 12.45 Planed Plant: The Blobs 1.00 Creme de la Creme 1.15 Elizabeth 2.15 Location, Location, Location 2.45 A Place in the Sun 3.15 Watercolour Challenge 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Y Marinogion Lewis ponders what fancy dress would trick the judge. Nazi uniform wins every time. 5.30 Tell It to Me Straight Chris discovers his mates think women are turned off by his intellectual chat-up lines. Like it’s any business of theirs.
6.00 ITN News Channel 7.00 Milkshake! 7.05 Havakazoo 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.00 Beachcomber Bay 9.30 The Powerpuff Girls 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 Family Law 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.35 FILM: Everybody's Baby: The Rescue of Jessica McClure “Was she the baby that fell down a well? Or the one that got taken by dingos?” asks Film Desk, unhelpfully. 5.25 Vox Pop 5.30 5 News It’s news!
6.00 BBC News 6.30 Wales Today; Weather 7.00 Holiday – You Call the Shots The team explore the Italian capital city of Rome. On last week’s show from Sydney they featured a game of Bingay – which is like bingo only gayer. Call in to the Gair Rhydd office for full rules. No, really. 7.30 EastEnders Peggy cannot face the customers in the Vic. Mr Davis is bothering Laura. Janine is looking for a new home. Lynne is adamant that Trevor must not find out about Zoe's predicament. So, busy then? 8.00 Holby City Nurse Sandy Harper's birthday party reaches an explosive climax when Keri McGrath finds herself in a compromising situation with a colleague. Awesome! FNARR! 9.00 Sweet Revenge 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News and Weather 10.35 Brighton Bill: Drugs Mmm, don’t mind if I do – a bottle of Actifed thanks. 11.05 FILM: On the Line “Gritty rape crime drama thing with that woman from out of Terminator,” mutters Film Desk through a mouthful of houmous, rocket and cucumber – pretentious buffoon. 12.45 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 Star Trek: Voyager Captain Janeway and her officers are blamed for the deceptions of a band of con artists who are impersonating them. What? Jesus, TV listings people – send this back to me when it makes some sense, why don’t you? 6.45 Sn**ker: LG Cup 7.30 Food and Drink 8.00 Gary Rhodes With recipes for chicken liver pate and smoked haddock scotch eggs. If I went to Gary’s house for tea and I got that, I’d be very upset. 8.30 The Naked Chef Jamie Oliver says goodbye to his flat, and prepares a steak sarnie for the removal men, a pasta salad for Jules, and chilli con carne for the housewarming party. For those of you who missed this observation last week: That new Sainsbury’s ad? The last line uttered by our scrofulus chum? He can’t fucking say it properly because of his stupid fat tongue. CUNT! 9.00 Battlefields: Arnhem 9.50 We Are History 10.00 Double Yellow Actually-not-too-bad arts programme which I meant to watch last week and missed. Better luck this time, eh? 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Snooker 12.00 Despatch Box 12.30 BBC Learning Zone
6.00 HTV News and Weather 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale 7.30 Grass Roots Where I live, in the Meridian TV region, Grass Roots is an astoundingly inane gardening programme. Here, however, it’s a ‘countryside magazine series, presented by Hywel James’ (it says here). Why not let us know about TV shows in your neck of the woods that have similar or identical names to programmes in the HTV Wales region? [How about you don’t? – TV Overlord] 8.00 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Early evening version of popular quiz Who Wants To Fight Chris Tarrant Naked In A Barn In Norfolk? 9.00 The Bill 10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.20 The Big Match: Champions League Highlights “5-0 to the Greeks,” says Pearlo. “3-1 to the Gunners,” says YTS Sports Desk. Ooh, tension. 11.20 HTV News and Weather 11.30 Top Sport 12.35 Take the Mike 1.05 The Big Match: UEFA Champions League: Dynamo Kiev v Liverpool 2.45 World Sport 3.10 Racing Arrows 3.35 Nationwide Football League Extra 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Newyddion 6 News 6.10 Heno 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion News 8.00 Cerdyn Post 8.30 Ffermio 9.00 Dressed to Kill: the Downfall of Jane Andrews 10.00 Brookside 10.35 Amdani 11.30 Lost 12.00 Hollyoaks: Movin' On 12.50 Frasier 1.20 FILM: Mr Wonderful “How do I know? You’ve deleted all the bloody listings!” ejaculates a furious Film Desk. Well, Ms Uppity, it’s got Matt Dillon in it, and it’s directed by Anthony Minghella. So there. 4.00 Schools
6.00 Home and Away Can Gypsy take much more? Ahahhaaaaa! Fnarr! That reminds me of something terribly unpleasant I once read in catalogue of, erm, adult goods that I found in my old house. 6.30 Family Affairs Vince is shocked to hear that Fern is thinking of moving on. Don’t worry, Vince – she’s a pot plant, how far can she go? 7.00 The Impressionists A series about the lives, loves and passions of Impressionist artists. In this programme, he looks at Renoir. Lawks – this makes a bit of a change from the usual ‘Fishcake of Death’ programming. Might actually watch this.... 7.30 5 News 8.00 The Tutankhamun Conspiracy Controversial documentary which looks at a theory that Tutankhamun's tomb was discovered eight years earlier than Howard Carter and Lord Carnarvon claimed. Hmm, this looks good too. 9.00 FILM: Conspiracy Theory “Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts find a, er, conspiracy theory,” reasons Film Desk. 11.40 Arrest and Trial: Vampire Cult Killers This is the best Channel 5 evening EVER! 12.10 La Femme Nikita 1.00 NFL Game of the Week 4.15 Motorsport Max 4.40 Major League Soccer
CH4. As S4C except: 6.00 Tales of a Wise King 9.30 4Learning 12.00 Montel 12.35 Suddenly Susan 1.00 Postmodern Pastimes 1.15 FILM: Young Bess 3.15 3.45 4.15 5.00 A Place in the Sun 5.25 Tell It to Me Straight 6.00 X-Fire 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Brookside 8.30 Driven 9.00 Extinct: The Great Auk 9.30 Going Critical: The Sinking of HMS Coventry 10.00 Sex and the City 10.30 Lost 11.05 Hollyoaks: Movin' On 11.55 Stephen King's It 1.45 Cut 2.10 Football Italia – Mezzanotte 4.00 4Learning
Holby City BBC1 8.00pm
Battlefields BBC2 9.00pm
The Bill ITV 9.00pm
Extinct Channel 4 9.00pm
CHOICE Sundry cookery programmes BBC2, 7.30pm – 9.00pm Can’t be bothered to cook? Doesn’t matter – you can spend all evening in front of the TV watching someone else do the legwork while you eat a takeaway. GRiP
BBC2’s epicurean delights kick off with the new ‘hey kids’ style Food and Drink which has gone all skewed camera angles and outside broadcasts. Sadly, Jilly Goolden seems to have been locked in a cupboard as she doesn’t pop up with any nutbag thoughts about wine. Spikey loon Gary Rhodes dons his stupid checkered trousers to extol the virtues of
Tuesday 16 October
Evening
BBC 2
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
‘traditional’ cooking although I’m sure Mrs Beeton wouldn’t be overly impressed with his habit of ‘popping’ everything (“pop it in the oven”, “pop it in the mixing bowl”, “pop it under the grill...” - just fucking put it, you silly little man). And as for Jamie cunting Oliver...don’t even get me started. “Ooh, it’s gone in me helmet...yakyakyak”. Oh do fuck off.
15.10.01
Television
18
17 October
Wednesday
The Booker Prize BBC2 9.50pm
HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Real Rooms 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 Wipeout 12.30 Doctors 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News and Weather 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Diagnosis Murder 2.55 Birds of a Feather 3.25 Pingu 3.30 Tweenies 3.50 The Woody Woodpecker Show 4.10 Jackie Chan Adventures 4.35 Oscar Charlie 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours Toadie finishes his relationship with Sheena. Evan struggles with family duties. I’m not a regular viewer of Neighbours so can someone write in and say if this is Evan Dando or not?
6.00 Open University 7.00 Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show 7.25 Arthur 7.50 UBOS 8.10 Bob the Builder 8.20 Little Bear 8.45 64 Zoo Lane 9.00 Tweenies 9.40 Playdays 10.00 Teletubbies 10.50 Schools 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Sn**ker: LG Cup 2.40 Assembly Live 3.50 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 4.00 Sn**ker: LG Cup Sorry, I said I’d have some jokes for you but I can’t remember any right now. I learnt a very good limerick about a dirty mouse last night but there isn’t room here. Andif you call up to the Gair Rhydd office I’ll do you an impression of Britney Spears using only a drinking straw. That’s quite funny.
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Watch to Win 9.30 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1.05 Shortland Street 1.35 The Biggest Game in Town 2.05 Crossroads 2.35 The Bill 3.05 ITV News Headlines 3.10 HTV News and Weather 3.15 Animal Stories 3.20 Mopatop's Shop 3.30 Angelina Ballerina 3.45 Cardcaptors 4.15 The Quick Trick Show 4.35 Two of a Kind 5.05 Crossroads John tells Virginia he wants her to come on the cruise with him. Dave and Oona try to coach Mandy and Ray for their coming interrogation. Sweet Jesus! How rude! Fnarr! 5.35 The People Versus
6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 The Big Breakfast 9.00 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Suddenly Susan 12.30 Planed Plant: Ari Awyren 12.45 Planed Plant: Sionyn 12.50 Planed Plant: Caio 1.00 Creme de la Creme 1.15 Great Civilisations 1.45 Property Ladder 2.45 A Place in the Sun 3.15 Watercolour Challenge 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Labordy 5-4-3-2-1 ‘Zany series’ set in a laboratory in the company of a couple of mad scientists 5.15 Planed Plant: Ffeil 5.30 Tell It to Me Straight A personal assistant learns that she spends too much time in bed. And...?
6.00 ITN News Channel 7.00 Milkshake! 7.05 Havakazoo 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Jay Jay the Jet Plane I saw this yesterday and it’s really disturbing – proper headfuck animation. And the ‘hostess’ looks like the eating-mans’ crumpet Lisa Riley. 9.00 Beachcomber Bay 9.30 The Powerpuff Girls 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 Family Law 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.35 FILM: Kojak: It's Always Something Tell me about it 5.25 Vox Pop 5.30 5 News
6.00 BBC News 6.30 Wales Today; Weather 7.00 This Is Your Life “You know what would liven this up? Peter Sellers coming on in a Nazi uniform, saying ‘Sorry, I thought it was Spike Milligan today’, and walking off again,” ventures Books Desk. And I agree. 7.30 The Bench 8.00 The Weakest Link Nick will be in later so I’ll ask him how the audition for this show went – I saw him briefly this afternoon and he said he’d called Robinson a bitch, but not to her face. Coward. 8.45 National Lottery Winning Lines 9.00 The Blue Planet: Coral Seas Essential viewing for stoners, fish-fans and people who have trouble sleeping and find David Attenborough’s voice oddly soporific. Best avoid it if you’re hydrophobic, mind. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News and Weather 10.35 Week In, Week Out Featuring a former highranking police officer's controversial solution to the scourge of heroin abuse. Involves thumbscrews. 11.05 Band of Brothers 12.05 The Practice 12.55 Sign One: The Blue Planet 1.45 Sign One: Panorama 2.25 See Hear on Saturday 3.10 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 TOTP 2 Featuring punk gems from X-Ray Spex, the Ruts, Sex Pistols, the Clash and the Ramones. “Fucking yes!” chirrups Punk Desk, sporting a studded dog-collar and yoof-ful ska-punk t-shirt. “About time we had some proper fucking music on TV.” Absolutely. 6.45 Sn**ker: LG Cup ‘Action’ from some dull provincial town. 7.30 A Question of Sport Guests are Andy Gray, James Cracknell, Jamie Baulch and Austin Healey. “Clearly, Austin Healey, Jamie Baulch and that rower are all gay so Andy Gray would win.” Contentious answer from Sports Desk. 8.00 Would Like to Meet Lowri Turner and her team of experts offer advice to members of the public on the complex art of dating. They turn their attention to a shy primary-school teacher. I’m on next week. No, really.... 9.00 Babyfather Apparently quite good, but I was working so I missed it last week. Anyone care to tell me what’s it’s like. 9.50 The Booker Prize Your annual chance to appear far more erudite than you are by watching this and nodding sagely when the winner is announced. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Sn**ker: LG Cup 12.00 Despatch Box 12.30 BBC Learning Zone
6.00 HTV News and Weather 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Rodney feels the pressure from both Ray and Chris. Double-headed Fnarr! for Emmerdale tonight. Well done! 7.30 The Big Match: UEFA Champions League Live: “United’ll win,” shrugs Sport. How about a scoreline then? “3-1,” is suggested, under protestaion. Miserable fools. 9.45 Coronation Street Janice and Dennis share a kiss. Mike sacks Ryan from Underworld. First off, always best to share a kiss than keep it to yourself. And by ‘underworld’ are we talking actual Hades? Because that would be really cool. 10.15 ITV News at Ten 10.35 The Ferret 11.05 HTV News and Weather 11.15 The Big Match: UEFA Champions League Highlights 12.25 FILM: Darklands ‘Atmospheric horror’ with Craig Fairbrass. “He’s either Dan from EastEnders or one of the brothers in Right Said Fred – I get confused,” admits Film Desk. 2.00 The Big Match: UEFA Champions League: Porto v Celtic 3.35 ITV Sport Classics 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Newyddion 6 News 6.10 Heno 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion News 8.00 Sgwadnewyddu 8.30 Hoelen Yn Yr Archif 9.00 Skinny Women 10.00 Brookside 10.30 Ally McBeal 11.30 Lost 12.00 The Secret Life of Us 1.00 Untold – An Indian Affair 1.55 FILM: Arizona Raiders “Probably not as good as Raising Arizona – which is amazing,” spouts Film Desk 3.30 Football Italia
6.00 Home and Away 6.30 Family Affairs Kelly admits that she's agreed to be a surrogate because she is in love with Karen. Meanwhile, Nicki and Jim admit their feelings for each other. Lordy, it’s a hotbed of lust and what-have-you. 7.00 The Movie Chart Show 7.30 5 News 8.00 FILM: First Do No Harm Medical drama with Fred Ward and Meryl Streep. “Fred Ward? Wasn’t he Robin in the original Batman series?” queries Film Desk. Ah, no, that was Burt Ward. “Oh, no, you’re right – Fred Ward was that bloke out of The Wonder Years.” Ahm, no, Fred Savage. Sorry. 9.45 Murder Detectives: The Wilson Murder 10.15 FILM: Phoenix “It’s got Ray Liotta and Anjelica Houston in it – so it should be good. But it just sounds a bit shit,” laments Film Desk 12.20 outTHERE 12.50 Major League Baseball 4.00 Ice Hockey Cripes, a bit of space left here. Not that I’ve got anything exciting to say. Erm, happy birthday to Abby for last week – forgot that, sorry. Oh, and hello to everyone who’s stopped me to talk about Jamie Oliver’s fat tongue – cuntiness, together we’ll crack it. I might start a society....
Skinny Women Channel 4 9.00pm
STAYING IN TONIGHT? Call for the latest student deals
CHOICE Skinny Women Channel 4, 9.00pm
(029) 2022 9977
62 CRWYS ROAD, CARDIFF
GRiP
After ITV’s astonishing ‘fat bloke’ documentary last week (which I missed, gutted) Channel 4 present this show about attitudes towards womens’ bodies and how women regard food.
CH4. As S4C except: 6.00 Ivor the Engine 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 4Learning 12.00 Montel 12.35 Spin City 1.00 Cheers 1.30 FILM: The Man from Colorado 3.45 4.15 5.00 A Place in the Sun 5.25 Tell It to Me Straight 6.00 Model Behaviour 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Brookside 8.30 Location, Location, Location 9.00 10.00 Ally McBeal 10.55 Lost 11.30 The Secret Life of Us 12.30 4 Music: Flava 1.00 4 Music: 4 Play 1.20 4 Music: 4 Play 1.35 4 Music: Superstar DJs 2.10 FILM: Mixing Nia 3.45 Driving Miss Crazy 3.55 Diary of a Garden 4.25 Trans World Sport 5.15 Countdown
Evening
Wednesday 17 October
The Big Match ITV 7.30pm
BBC 2
Daytime
Today’s Highlights
This is Your Life BBC1 7.00pm
BBC 1
Not wishing to rain on Channel 4’s parade, hasn’t this sort of thing been done to death? Anyone who’s read any sort of ‘wimmins’ magazine will be wellaware that all women are allegedly preoccupied with food and will no doubt be bored to tears with the whole subject. But, just to chuck in my two cents before the debate that will surely ensue in the papers on Thursday, I’m not overly bothered about what I eat so who wants to take me out to dinner? 15.10.01
Television
19
18 October
Thursday HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Real Rooms 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 Wipeout 12.30 Doctors 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News and Weather 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Diagnosis Murder 2.55 Birds of a Feather 3.25 Pingu 3.30 Tweenies 3.50 The Woody Woodpecker Show 4.10 UBOS 4.35 Hollywood 7 5.00 Byker Grove Luke discovers that he has a coordination disorder on the day Adam gets a trial for Newcastle United academy 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours Toadie considers Rhonda's offer. That could be naughty. So let’s have a ‘fnarr’.
6.00 Open University 7.00 The Magical Adventures of Quasimodo 7.25 Arthur 7.50 Blue Peter 8.10 Dr Otter 8.20 Little Bear 8.45 64 Zoo Lane 9.00 Tweenies 9.40 Playdays 10.00 Teletubbies 10.50 Schools 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Sn**ker: LG Cup 2.40 Assembly Live 3.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3.30 Sn**ker: LG Cup Bugger it! Yet more space to fill up. Okay, try this for size: “My wife’s just come back from India,” “Goa?” “Phwoar! I’ll say!” Ahem, well, I liked it. And believe me, there’s a lot more where that came from so pray that the sn**ker doesn’t last much longer.
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Watch to Win 9.30 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1.05 Shortland Street 1.35 The Biggest Game in Town 2.05 Crossroads 2.35 The Bill 3.05 ITV News Headlines 3.10 HTV News and Weather 3.15 Animal Stories 3.20 Mopatop's Shop 3.30 Angelina Ballerina 3.45 Cardcaptors 4.15 The Quick Trick Show 4.35 Two of a Kind 5.05 Crossroads John convinces Virginia to come with him on the cruise. Immigration officials arrive at Crossroads to probe Ray and Mandy's marriage. Um, I think ‘probe’ earns a ‘fnarr’. 5.35 The People Versus
6.10 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 The Big Breakfast 9.00 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Suddenly Susan 12.30 Planed Plant: Saith 12.45 Planed Plant: Bibi 1.00 Extinct 1.30 Channel 4 Racing from Newmarket 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Planed Plant: Uned 5 5.30 Tell It to Me Straight Sara's friends think she cannot keep a secret. These had better be some hardcore secrets that she’s not keeping in order to justify wasting half an hour of Channel 4’s time. I’m always out when this programme is on anyway – is it really as dreadful as it sounds?
6.00 ITN News Channel 7.00 Milkshake! 7.05 Havakazoo 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.00 Beachcomber Bay 9.30 Plonsters 9.35 The Powerpuff Girls 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 Family Law 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.35 FILM: To Trap a Spy “You need a bloody great net. Or maybe some sticky strips laid outside the major embassies in London,” suggests Film Desk, stupidly. 5.25 Vox Pop 5.30 5 News
6.00 BBC News 6.30 Wales Today; Weather 7.00 Watchdog Is there anything left to complain about? And if the Watchdog team are so brilliant why don’t they all just work in the diplomatic service and sort the world out? 7.30 EastEnders Everyone is keen to meet Robbie's mystery girlfriend at his birthday party. Who could it be? Sod me! It’s Gina Lollobrigida. I wasn’t expecting that.... 8.00 Match of the Day Live: Ipswich v Helsingborgs “I think Ipswich will win, they’re having a good run – 3-1”. Thanks Sports Desk. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News and Weather 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the topical debate, which comes in this edition from Cheltenham Ladies College. Lots of discussion about lacrosse and pashes on the head girl. 11.35 Film 2001 with Jonathan Ross Includes reviews of the spine-tingling Jeepers Creepers. There’s a poster in the GR office which called that film ‘the best horror film in ten years’. Which makes me instantly sceptical. 12.05 Liquid News 12.40 Sign One: Watchdog 1.15 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 The New Adventures of Superman Superman battles with a mystic martial arts expert whom even he cannot overpower, so Lois and Clark look for help in Chinatown. Who is this help? Lawks – it’s Pat Morita a.k.a. Mr Miyagi from The Karate Kid. 6.45 Sn**ker: LG Cup 7.30 Rivers of Wales 8.00 Dragon's Eye 8.30 Porridge When Lennie starts working hard to get another O-level before leaving prison, Fletcher cannot understand why he doesn't just cheat. Ronnie Barker was always funnier than Ronnie Corbett. Did anyone else get bored during Corbett’s monologues? Hell, did anyone even watch The Two Ronnies? Ah, thought not.... 9.00 Horizon Taking a look at hypernovas, the death throes of massive stars which met their end in an apocalyptic explosion. Chris Farley, for instance. 9.50 Body Briefs 10.00 Dad's Army An enemy pilot bails out and gets tangled in the town clock. Ah, thems were the days. John le Mesurier, eh? Legend. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Sn**ker: LG Cup 12.00 Despatch Box 12.30 BBC Learning Zone
6.00 HTV News and Weather 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Bernice's attempt at reconciliation leaves Ashley torn, but will she get the response she deserves? That, my friend, merits a ‘fnarr’ if ever I heard one. 7.30 Wales This Week 8.00 Coronation Street 8.30 Vicky Entwistle: Star Lives Carol Vorderman delves into the life and career of actress Vicky Entwistle, otherwise known as Janice Battersby from Coronation Street. Listen, children – can you hear? That’s the sound of the bottom of the barrel being scraped. Jesus wept.... 9.00 Without Motive 10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.20 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 11.20 HTV News and Weather 11.30 Sharp End Mark Hannaby investigates whether waste tips are a toxic danger to children. How fucking investigative do you have to be to work this one out? 12.00 The Night before the Morning After 12.35 Young, Gifted and Broke 1.00 CD:UK 1.55 ITV at the Festivals 2001 2.45 Cybernet 3.15 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Newyddion 6 News 6.10 Heno 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion News 8.00 Brodyr Bach 8.30 Cymru Ar Ras 9.30 A Child's World: The Mind Reader 10.00 Driven 10.30 Rising Damp 11.05 Clipsen 11.40 The Armando Iannucci Shows 12.10 Los Dos Bros 12.40 First on Four 1.10 Action 1.35 Action 2.00 Easy 2.55 Flava 3.20 FILM: Operation Amsterdam
6.00 Home and Away Hayley uses dirty tactics to get back at Mitch, while Will gets on the wrong side of Rhys. Nope, sorry, not smutty enough. No fnarr for you. 6.30 Family Affairs The Farmers are burgled and Fern's book is stolen, but the insurers suspect fraud. What? It’s a book? What was it? First edition of The Bible? 7.00 UEFA Cup Football: Hapoel Tel-Aviv v Chelsea “96-1 to the Jews,” elaborates Sports Desk, somewhat cryptically. 9.20 FILM: Coma “Not that bad, for a conspiracy theory film,” reminisces Film Desk. 11.30 Real Sex This edition of the sex-related documentary series features a gender-bending cabaret, ‘whole-body’ orgasms on a Hawaiian workshop retreat, talking dirty for a new Xrated CD, and a Swedish erotic-show hostess in search of kinky delights. Well, it’s either this or a documentary about the history of pornography on Channel 4. And I think this might be more...earthy. 12.25 European Blue Review 12.50 Jonathan Pearce's Football Night 1.20 Football: UEFA Cup 2.55 Dutch Football: Roda JC v PSV 4.30 Argentinian Football: Independiente v River Plate
CH4. As S4C except: 6.00 Ivor the Engine 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 4Learning 12.00 FILM: Dangerously They Live 3.45 4.15 5.00 A Place in the Sun 5.25 Tell It to Me Straight 6.00 Friends 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 Property Ladder 9.00 BodySnippers: The Body 10.00 Frasier 10.30 The Armando Iannucci Shows 11.05 Pornography: the Secret History of Civilisation: Sex Lives on Videotape 12.10 Action 12.40 4 Later: Late Night Poker 1.40 4 Later: Onedottv 2.10 Football Italia – Mezzanotte 4.00 Diary of a Garden 4.25 Untold – An Indian Affair: Brief Encounter 5.20 Countdown
Eastenders BBC1 7.30pm
Newsnight BBC2 10.30pm
Emmerdale ITV 7.00pm
Property Ladder Channel 4 8.00pm
CHOICE Liquid News BBC1, 12.05am A curious beast, Liquid News. I think it had its inception on BBC Choice – home of some awesome programmes but also the breeding ground for a vast amount of cliquey BBC GRiP
nonsense (Radio 1 TV, anyone?). Not having watched this show for more than about two minutes at a time I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not terribly well qualified to comment upon its relative merits and failings but the fact that it consistently fails to hold my attention is perhaps some indicator of its quality. The host is eminently smug and clearly
Thursday 18 October
Evening
BBC 2
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
aspires to be Jonathan Ross-esque style but falls woefully short. The ‘celebrity’ commentators – wheeled in to speak their brains about entertainment issues of the day – range from the not-veryfamous-yet to the shouldn’t-really-be-famousat-all. And why watch this anyway when there’s crappy soft porn on Channel 5?
15.10.01
Television
19 October
Friday
Gardeners’ World BBC2 10.00pm
Friday 19 October
BBC 2
HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Real Rooms 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 Wipeout 12.30 Doctors 1.00 BBC News 1.30 Regional News and Weather 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Diagnosis Murder 2.50 Birds of a Feather 3.25 Pingu 3.30 Tweenies 3.50 The Woody Woodpecker Show 4.10 Super Duper Sumos 4.35 Bring It on 5.00 DIY TV 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours Woody is up to something. Toadie might be in with a chance of a job with the biggest law firm in town. Tad is determined to obtain booze for the school camp. Ignore all this faff – the first sentence wins the biggest fnarr of all time – FNARR!
6.00 Open University 7.00 Chipmunks Go to the Movies 7.25 Arthur 7.50 UBOS 8.10 Bill and Ben 8.20 Little Bear 8.45 64 Zoo Lane 9.00 Tweenies 9.40 Playdays 10.00 Teletubbies 10.50 Schools 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Sn**ker: LG Cup I’ve just been on the phone to my brother who told me some jokes which could have filled this space but they weren’t actually that good. So I think I’ll save him the shame of having his rather shoddy gags aired in public and instead I’ll recommend that you write to the BBC and advise them not to show any more snooker ever again.
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Watch to Win 9.30 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1.05 Shortland Street 1.35 The Biggest Game in Town 2.05 Get Gardening 2.35 Soft Sell 3.05 ITV News Headlines 3.10 HTV News and Weather 3.15 Animal Stories 3.20 Mopatop's Shop 3.30 Angelina Ballerina 3.45 Cardcaptors 4.15 The Quick Trick Show 4.35 Two of a Kind 5.05 Nuts and Bolts 5.30 The Biggest Game in Town The residents of Barnsley are invited to take part in a mammoth round of Mousetrap. Meanwhile in Chichester, the huge Monopoly board has covered the civic centre.
6.00 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 The Big Breakfast 9.00 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Suddenly Susan 12.30 Planed Plant: Tecwyn y Tractor 12.45 Planed Plant: Sali Mali 1.00 A Place in the Sun 1.30 Channel 4 Racing from Newmarket 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Planed Plant: CIC 5.30 Tell It to Me Straight Dance instructor Debbie discovers she's a bit of a helpless girlie. To be fair, I’d be surprised if a dance instructor called Debbie wasn’t found to be a bit girlie. Not often that dance teachers crush beercans agaist their foreheads....
6.00 ITN News Channel 7.00 Milkshake! 7.05 Havakazoo 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.00 Beachcomber Bay 9.30 Plonsters 9.35 The Powerpuff Girls 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 Family Law 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.35 FILM: Murphy's War “I don’t know which Murphy they’re talking about,” admits Film Desk. My money’s on Eddie Murphy although there’s a strong case for the fictitious Murphy Brown. 5.30 5 News
6.00 BBC News 6.30 Wales Today; Weather 7.00 Top of the Pops Goes Large Jamie Theakston, Zoe Ball and Dermot O'Leary present this hour-long special celebrating the return of the programme to TV Centre after a ten year absence. Hopefully they’ll be celebrating with some bands from ten years ago – The London Boys, for instance. And Transvision Vamp. 8.00 EastEnders Little Mo has an unexpected caller. Lummee! It’s Peter Lorre back from the dead. 8.30 My Family 9.00 Have I Got News for You 9.30 They Think It's All Over 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News and Weather 10.35 Just Up Your Street 11.05 Jo Brand's Commercial Breakdown 11.35 TV's Finest Failures Like Before They Were Famous but with a different title. And Phil Jupitus. Sounds quite bad actually. 12.15 The Stand-Up Show 12.45 LA Pool Party 1.35 FILM: Keep It Up Downstairs Farcey thing with Willie Rushton and Diana Dors. “My Dad fancied Diana Dors,” Film Desk mentions in passing. 3.10 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 Masters of Combat Gail Porter and Trey Farley present the series in which two teams of martial arts experts compete against one another in a variety of disciplines. Yeah, but they don’t actually really fight – like if they were cornered in an alley or something. 6.45 Scrum V Live 9.00 Band of Brothers Wartime drama series. Due to heavy casualties, a group of fresh paratrooper replacements joins Easy Company in time for a massive drop into Germanoccupied Holland. Apparently ace. But I’ve got a life so I don’t watch TV on a Friday night. 10.00 Gardeners' World 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Mark Lawson discusses the week's cultural highs and lows with Germaine Greer, Jonathan Freedland and Ekow Eshun. The twunts on here were very rude about Amelie – so they clearly know nothing. 11.35 Later with Jools Holland Artists include New Order, Zero 7, alt-country star Ryan Adams, Grammy award-winner Michael McDonald, and Roots Manuva. First two and last one ace – the other two, who? 12.35 Snooker: LG Cup 1.35 The X Files 3.00 BBC Learning Zone
6.00 HTV News and Weather 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain's undercover operations lead to a confrontation with Zak. ‘Undercover’ could easily be misconstrued. So fnarr. 7.30 Coronation Street 8.00 Bruce's Price Is Right Slot-eyed members of the public are summoned to a temple of greed where they exchange banter in return for cheap household goods. 8.30 Rich and Famous This week, actress Samantha Giles, better known as Bernice from Emmerdale, welcomes Caron Keating into her home. Famous in the broadest possible sense of the word. 9.00 The Bill 10.00 The Elton John Story 11.00 ITV Weekend News 11.20 HTV News and Weather 11.30 Shotgun Slideshow Videos by new bands featuring the Erban Poets from Cardiff as well as Newport nu metal outfit Scapegoat. 12.00 Refresh 12.30 Dial-a-Date 1.00 Players 1.55 New Music Television 2.25 Take the Mike 2.50 Box Office America 3.15 World Football 3.40 Trisha 4.35 Judge Judy 4.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Newyddion 6 News 6.10 Heno 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion News 8.00 Cefn Gwlad: Aneurin Jones 8.30 Lle Neis i Blant? 9.00 Friends 9.30 Will and Grace 10.00 Brookside 10.35 So Graham Norton 11.15 Sex and the City 11.45 Bar Wars 12.50 South Park 1.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus: Movin' on 2.50 Beach Volleyball: FIVB World Tour 2001 3.20 Why Men Don't Iron 4.15 Power to the Pixel
6.00 Home and Away Has Hayley lost all her friends? Will refuses to take any more nonsense from Dani. Shauna finds herself under suspicion for murder. Another busy half hour in Summer Bay. 6.30 Family Affairs Siobhan gives Pete an ultimatum – either give her the pub or she takes the confession tape to the police. Wow, imagine being able to get someone to give you a whole pub. Beats scrounging a pint. 7.00 Cleopatra 2525 Cleopatra, Hel and Sarge must restore a force field and prevent a supply of plutonium from getting into the wrong hands. Haven’t we all? 7.30 5 News 8.00 To Be Announced 9.00 FILM: Imminent Danger ‘Action drama’ about rafting. And convicts. 10.50 FILM: Wildflower “Erotic drama,” yawns Film Desk complacently – too busy listening to Nick Cave to care about soft porn. 12.35 FILM: Somewhere Tomorrow “Very early appearance from Sarah Jessica Parker – could be unintentionally funny,” posits Film Desk 2.15 FILM: Blue Suede Shoes 3.55 Behind the Music - 1977 4.35 Russell Grant's Postcards 4.45 Strange Luck 5.35 Okavango
CH4. As S4C except: 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Samuel Beckett on Film. 11.40 Stop, Look and Listen. 11.50 That's My Life. 11.55 My Brilliant Career. 12.00 FILM: Background to Danger 3.45 4.15 5.00 A Place in the Sun 5.25 Tell It to Me Straight 6.00 Friends 6.30 Model Behaviour 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Not All Houses Are Square 8.00 Great Civilisations: China 8.30 Brookside 9.00 Friends 9.30 Will and Grace 10.00 So Graham Norton 10.40 Los Dos Bros 11.15 South Park 11.45 12.50 Hollyoaks Omnibus: Movin' on 2.20 Beach Volleyball: FIVB World Tour 2.50 FILM: My Brother Jonathan 4.35 Jack and Jill 5.25 Countdown
Evening
Coronation Street ITV 7.30pm
BBC 1
Daytime
Today’s Highlights
Have I Got News For You BBC1 9.00pm
20
Friends Channel 4 9.00pm
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CHOICE Have I Got News For You BBC1, 9.00pm
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GRiP
In the same way that Viz magazine went a bit rubbish for a while, so Have I Got News For You went through a period of being frankly sub-par. So it was nice to see Deayton, Merton and Hislop back
on form in the last series. It will be interesting to see how, if at all, they respond to recent events – Hislop’s Private Eye has been praised and criticised in equal measure for its coverage of the WTC attacks. Having seen the ‘offending’ issue I can only hope that the clearsighted and hysteria-free attitude of the magazine makes it to the TV. Unless the BBC wuss out, of course.... 15.10.01
Television
21
20 October
Saturday HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
7.00 Little Bear 7.30 Brum 7.40 Fix and Foxi 7.50 Gadget Boy 8.15 Flint the Time Detective 8.35 Rugrats 9.00 The Saturday Show 12.00 Football Focus 12.50 BBC News; Weather 1.00 Grandstand 1.05 Rugby Union 1.15 British Touring Cars 2.00 Rugby Union: Ireland v England 3.45 Football Half-Times 3.55 Rugby Union: Ireland v England 4.45 Wales on Saturday 5.20 BBC News; Weather 5.35 Wales Today Regional news. 5.40 Star For A Night Talentless nobodies get their big break. And that’s only Jane McDonald. Ha!
7.00 Weekend 24 9.00 FILM: Let's Dance 10.50 See Hear on Saturday 11.35 The Sky at Night Quite black this week. 11.55 Stingray 12.20 Home Front Tricks Revealing the secrets of the DIY conjurors. Today’s edition exposes the mechanics behind the famous Disappearing Black & Decker sander trick. An incredible insight into a fascinating world. The things they can do with a powerdrill! 12.25 FILM: Swing Time 2.05 FILM: Romeo and Juliet 4.20 TOTP 2 5.05 What the Papers Say 5.15 Snooker
6.00 GMTV 9.25 SMTV Live 11.30 CD:UK 12.30 On the Ball 1.20 ITV News; Weather 1.25 HTV News and Weather 1.30 International Motor Racing 1.55 Sailing: Volvo Ocean Race what the fuck do volvo have to do with boats? 2.55 The Magnificent Seven Couldn’t be bothered to create original TV concept so stole one from a good film. Avoid 3.45 And the Word Was Bond 4.20 The Goal Rush 5.05 HTV News and Weather 5.20 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.30 Challenge of a Lifetime Read: challenge of a Saturday afternoon. If that.
6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 Blue's Clues 7.00 Hot Heels Street Luge 7.30 World Offshore Powerboating Championship 8.00 Trans World Sport 9.00 The Morning Line 10.00 Scrapheap Challenge 11.00 X-Fire 12.00 Stargate SG-1 1.00 FANatic Vomit inducing crass MTV buy-in; watch only if dull, shallow, don’t-ever-read-books type. Devoid of any useful content - feels like you’ve just wated precious moments of your life. If you watch it. Don’t. 1.30 Channel 4 Racing 5.00 Newyddion News 5.10 Y Clwb Rygbi: Llaneli v Caerdydd
6.00 Russell Grant's Postcards 6.05 WideWorld 7.00 ITN News Channel 7.30 Milkshake! 7.35 Redwall 8.00 The Powerpuff Girls 8.30 FILM: Babar, King of the Elephants Damn good. 9.55 Agrippine 10.25 Singled Out 10.55 The Core 11.00 Core News 11.05 Edgemont 11.30 Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane 12.00 5 News at lunch 12.10 Home and Away Omnibus 2.15 Atlantis High 2.55 The Core 3.00 Pepsi Chart 3.30 Harry and Cosh Wot, like a “cosh” you hit someone wiv? 3.55 School 4.55 Under Pressure 5.55 5 News
7.05 Dog Eat Dog Cretins shaft each other. More tedious than it sounds. 7.40 Star for a Night Spare me. 8.00 National Lottery Winning Lines Phillip Schofield and news editor James Bladon struggle to see who have the strongest nostrils. 8.10 Casualty Schofield, still smarting from defeat, appears in this episode. Warning: scenes featuring Schofield’s nose may upset some viewers. 9.00 Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) Reeves and Mortimer’s Career (Deceased) 9.50 BBC News; Weather 10.05 Parkinson 10.55 Heavyweight Boxing: Audley Harrison v Piotr Jurczykn This week Audley tries to conquer his opponent by continually flicking his ear and annoying the fuck out of him. 12.25 They Think It's All Over 12.55 A Question of Sport 1.30 Top of the Pops Goes Large Featuring Jamie Theakston blowing cocaine up Gail Porter’s a-hole. Now that what I call going large. 2.30 Joins BBC News 24
8.10 Lost on Everest: the Search for Mallory and Irvine Documentary exploring the circumstances surrounding the fatal attempt in 1924 by George Mallory and Andrew Irvine to climb Everest. In all seriousness this is probably worth watching. 9.00 Snooker 10.30 FILM: Thief With James Caan and Tuesday Weld. Is Tuesday a man or a woman? Well, Nigerian footballer Sunday Oliseh is a man, but by the same token Wednesday Addams is a girl, so it’s difficult to say. I’ll plump for a woman. 12.25 FILM: The Boys Courtroom drama about four youths accused of murdering a nightwatchman. The defence attempts to persuade the jury that the boys are guilty of a crime of passion and should not be executed. Sounds a bit like Sleepers. Except it doesn’t have Brad Pitt in it. 3.00 BBC Learning Zone Sub-ed’s note: can whoever wrote Saturday’s listings in the style of a ketaminefuelled chatroom try a little harder with the basics of spelling, grammar and punctuation next time? Please? Thanks.
6.00 Pop Idol ESSENTIAL VIEWING. Never has watching deluded fameseeking idiots looking stupid been so much fun. 7.00 The Premiership Featured games including Man U and Bolton. Des Lynam is a willy, but people won’t watch if the show is bad. ITV take note. 8.10 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? People who dont want to work for their money, and who invariably won’t be able to handle anything they do win. 9.25 The Frank Skinner Show The overpaid Frank's ‘topical’ comedy show, featuring ‘sketches’, ‘standup’ and special vests. 10.05 FILM: In the Line of Fire Quite good. Got Clint in it, one of the last true stars. You can tell the baddie as soon as you see him though. The bad guy in Dirty Harry though – never worked again. Evil fuck. 11.10 ITV Weekend News 11.25 FILM: In the Line of Fire Conclusion 12.40 The Premiership 2.10 Forever 3.05 Dial-a-Date 3.30 Mixmasters 3.55 Box Office America 4.20 World Sport 4.45 World Football 5.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
7.15 Newyddion a Chwaraeon 7.30 Sadwrn Ar y Stryd 8.00 Noson Lawen 9.00 Tystiolaeth y Meirw: Y Corff yn Siarad 10.00 Top Ten TV 11.35 Stephen King's It 1.20 Late-Night Poker 2.20 First on Four and last 2.45 Motorsport on 4 - the Powertour Notice the ‘Power’ in Powertour. “The Fast and the Furious” was shite - point break with cars and less style/verve/brains (quite an achievement, I hope you’ll agree). 3.40 FILM: Mixing Nia Intriguing...
6.00 Fort Boyard Melinda Messenger doesn’t get her yams out. And they expect us to watch this? 7.00 Night Fever 7.55 5 News and Sport Something newsworthy: AI is cool up to the part where it ended in the Kubrick version – with David and the statue underwater, after which it becomes spuriously sentimental, implausible and shite. See in particular the alien sitting next to David on the bed and saying (in fatherly English accent), “Thanks to you we can now understand the genius of mankind as explained through art and literature,” etc etc blah bleeeuuuurrr. The actor playing the alien should have said (quoting Harrison Ford on set of Star Wars), “You can type this shit, but you sure as hell can’t say it”. 8.25 Earth's Fury: Hurricanes: no-one cares. Twister came out years ago. 9.25 CSI: Casanova Sock Imbiber? Maybe. 10.20 5 News Update 10.25 FILM: The Lesser Evil (1998) Don’t bother. 12.20 FILM: The Favor Do yourself one & see above. 2.10 Sportsweek 4.45 The Legend of the Hidden City 5.30 Bamboo Bears
CH4. As S4C except: 10.00 Gazetta Football Italia 11.00 Motorsport on 4: The Powertour 12.00 X-Fire 1.00 Family Guy 1.30 5.00 5.05 Brookside 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Seven Wonders of the World 8.00 Extinct 8.30 Not All Houses Are Square 9.00 Top Ten TV 10.35 FILM: Poison Ivy Some hot sex/nudity, so I’m told. One for the lads. Why does CH4 always show better films than S4C? 12.20 Lost Omnibus 1.55 FILM: Little Buddha 3.40 4.05 The Norm Show 4.30 For Your Love: The Forbidden Dance 4.55 Diary of a Garden Better than sex. If gnomes turn you on 5.20 Countdown
Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) BBC1 9.00pm
Fort Boyard Channel 5 6.00pm
Casualty BBC1 8.10pm
Brookside Channel 4 5.05pm
CHOICE The Premiership ITV1, 7.00pm Oh ITV. Oh my days. My sweet sweet days. What on earth have you done? I’ll tell you. You have taken the privilege of football – not just any football, the bloody Premiership GRiP
no less – and you have created the most embarassing pile of shit imaginable. Des Lynam has completely lost it. No longer do you strut your hair and tache on the Beeb with Alan and Trev, oh no, you chat to Terry ‘the geezer’ and that Scotish twat who shagged Patsy Kensit. Not content with these fools, ITV have also stuck Andy Townsend in some kind of
Saturday 20 October
Evening
BBC 2
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
oversized caravan, where he sits to chat to various icons like Dion Dublin and Jari Litmanen. It is just ridiculous. What about Venners and those little dots, fucking Pro Zone, it’s like a fucking Amiga game from 1986. Finally they top it off with adverts interspersed with footballers family members: “Yeah er hi, I’m Ashley Cole’s mum.” WANK.
15.10.01
Television
21 October
Sunday
Rex The Runt BBC2 Time am/pm
Coronation Street ITV 7.30pm
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GRiP
BBC 2
HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Breakfast with Frost 10.00 The Heaven and Earth Show 11.00 Geoff Hamilton's Paradise Gardens 11.30 Countryfile 12.00 On the Record 1.00 EastEnders 2.50 The Blue Planet 3.40 Morecambe and Wise I cannot stress highly enough the importance of watching Morecambe and Wise on a regular basis. More than exercise, more than healthy eating, more than breathing... Morecambe and Wise are all you need. 4.20 My Family 4.50 Points of View 5.05 Lifeline 5.15 BBC News; Weather 5.35 Regional News; Weather 5.40 Songs of Praise
6.45 Tweenies 7.25 Pocket Dragon Adventures 7.40 The Lampies 7.50 Gadget Boy 8.15 Flint the Time Detective 8.35 Rugrats 9.05 Hollywood 7 9.30 S Club Search 9.35 Mona the Vampire I had a limerick about a vampire earlier as well. I’m having trouble getting the second line to scan properly though – so you might have to wait for that one. 9.50 The Cramp Twins 10.00 Kenan and Kel 10.25 Byker Grove 11.20 Rex the Runt 11.30 FILM: Cagney and Lacey: Together Again 1.00 The Pop Factory 1.30 Sunday Grandstand 1.35 Snooker 5.15 Scrum V
6.00 GMTV 9.25 How II 9.45 Fetch the Vet 10.00 The Ark 10.30 My Favourite Hymns 11.00 Sunday Morning 12.00 That's Esther 12.30 Waterfront 12.55 HTV News and Weather 1.00 Jonathan Dimbleby 2.00 Soccer Sunday Live 4.30 Pulling Power 5.00 Holy Quiz Religious quiz show, hosted by the Reverend Lionel Fanthorpe. Not the most inspired name in the world, something of a missed opportunity. Many years ago in Smash Hits an interview with a popular band of the times was headlined, ‘Christ Almighty, it’s Jesus Jones!’. They don’t make them like that any more. 5.30 Textured Lives
6.20 Pippi Longstocking 6.45 Blue’s Clues 7.15 The Hoobs 7.40 Tales of a Wise King 7.45 Tales of a Wise King 7.55 Football Italia – Gazetta 8.55 Blunt attp 9.25 Model Behaviour 9.55 Model Behaviour 10.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.55 Rownd a Rownd 12.30 4 Trac 1.00 Y Clwb 2.00 Welsh in a Week That’s rather a tall order. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. Unless they’re suggesting that Cardiff was. 2.30 Brookside 3.55 Extinct 4.25 Maniffesto 5.25 Newyddion 5.35 Pobol y Cwm An omnibus of the week's events in Cwmderi. Just in case you missed it the first time....
6.00 WideWorld 6.30 Moto GP: Malaysia 8.30 Tintin 8.55 Tiger, Tiger 9.25 The Mole 10.25 Core News 10.30 The Big Question 11.00 It's Your Funeral 11.35 The Movie Chart Show 12.00 Wildlife Photographer 12.35 5 News at Lunchtime 12.40 Moto GP: Malaysia 2.20 Exclusive 3.15 Family Affairs Omnibus 5.30 FILM: Hercules and the Circle of Fire “Not as good as ‘The Tasks of the OneLegged, One-Armed Hercules’,” snorts Film Desk, referencing tvgohome.com for the umpteenth time today, much to the annoyance of people who haven’t seen that website.
6.15 Last of the Summer Wine When Truly jokingly tells Billy Ingleton there's a tiger on the loose, he does not anticipate the repercussions. Which, we’re guessing, probably involve a tiger going down a steep hill in a tin bath. 6.45 Antiques Roadshow 7.30 Richard Briers - a Good Life A celebration of actor Richard Briers. Contributors include Kenneth Branagh and Penelope Keith. Nick has just seen some play with Penelope Keith in. That boy is like that with the BBC. He’s auditioning for The Weakest Link as well. Anyway, was it bomb, Nick? “Yeah it was actually.” 8.00 Down to Earth 9.00 Silent Witness 9.50 Children in Need 2001 10.00 BBC News; Weather 10.15 Panorama: Koran and Country There is only one prophet, and that is TV Desk. Read our scriptures below. 11.05 FILM: Rules of Obsession 12.45 The Sky at Night 1.10 Joins BBC News 24 I’M NOT EATING WITH THAT PSYCHO – PART II ■ KETTLE “EVIL” – POT OUTBURST ■ TWO WEEKS TO GO
6.00 Wild: Polar Bear Diary “Woke up, smoked fag, drunk coffee, mauled Inuit. There’s got to be more to life than this.” 6.10 Wild: Congo's Secret Chimps Forgive our crudeness, but all we can offer for this listing is that Charlotte Uhhlenbroueehhk, or whatever she’s called, is actually awesomely fit. Hey, look – we’ve just been to see Gorky’s in Bristol (who were bomb BTW) and got a lift back with Zabrinski and had to sit there politely while they started speaking in Welsh. Awesome blokes though. Hope they found the drugs they were looking for. Anyway, the point is we’re very tired and don’t want to think about chimps. Much. 6.40 Wild: Natural World 7.30 Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em 8.00 Sn**ker 10.30 Have I Got News for You 11.00 Rock Profile Jamie Theakston pretends to interview Bucks Fizz and Blur. I seem to remember this being funny when I saw it, but I was caned at the time. 11.30 Rex the Twunt 11.40 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 12.10 'orrible 12.40 Correspondent 2.00 BBC Learning Zone
6.00 HTV News and Weather 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 Pop Idol 7.30 Coronation Street 8.00 Back Home 10.00 2DTV Was there ever a time when doing impressions of celebs was funny? Cos I don’t remember it. 10.10 ITV Weekend News 10.30 The Premiership 11.00 Alpha – Will It Change Their Lives? David Frost presents a series about Alpha, the groundbreaking course in Christianity which can change people's lives. Sounds like you’ve answered the question posed in the title then... hmm, I think not somehow. There are many ways in which I would like to change my life, but becoming a fucking Christian isn’t one of them. NAH BRAH. Polly Toynbee was right the other day when she wrote that time was running out for people to say ALL RELIGION IS WANK and get away with it. Let’s get a bit of that in before it’s too late. All religion is wank. There. 12.00 The Web Review 12.35 Roar 1.25 Dance 2000 2.25 Trisha 3.20 Judge Judy 3.40 Cybernet 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
7.30 Y Sioe Gelf. 8.00 Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 8.30 Llwybrau Paul 9.00 Amdani 9.55 Newyddion News 10.10 FILM: Jackie Brown 1.00 RIBA Stirling Prize Awards Show - Building of the Year 2.00 WWF Heat Late-Night 2.50 FILM: Lost Highway
7.00 5 News and Sport 7.30 Motorsport Max 8.00 The Mole 9.00 FILM: City of Angels “It’s a good rom-com, if you like that sort of thing... with an UNBELIEVABLE ending. Meg Ryan dies!” No, I refuse to believe it, Pearlo. 11.15 Murder Detectives: Case Files: Deadly Target 12.15 Poltergeist: the Legacy 1.10 US Major League Baseball: League Championship Series PlayOffs 4.05 Major League Baseball Replay Fucking yank rounders, who watches this. Thanks to the guy who wrote in saying TV Desk was bomb – much appreciated. We can only assume you don’t like reading about TV very much, as I certainly don’t like writing about it. FUCK ME! They’re playing Shellac on the radio. In fact, they’re playing a really weird blues-type versh of The Rambler Song. Where the fuck did they get this from? Apparently this is Twisted Nerve people DJing. Legends. They send me free records so I s’pose I would say that. Anyway, cheers brah. We’re off to do the shittest job ever and then go and see the Super Furries and get battered. FUCKIN YES!
CHOICE Panorama: Koran and Country BBC1, 10.15pm Vivian White presents what looks to be a brave bit of programming from the BBC. In Britain, the post-WTC attack shockwaves have been felt, most notably and distressingly, in a spate of attacks on random Muslims, or Muslim buildings, by the kind of loathsome balls of Nazi shit who were probably waiting for something like this to happen. Meanwhile, the Bush-Blair coalition proclaims, “If you’re not with us,
CH4. As S4C except: 6.05 Ivor the Engine 6.10 The Clangers 6.20 6.45 7.15 7.40 CatDog 8.10 Investigators 8.35 One World 9.00 T4: Blunt a.t.t.p.9.25 9.30 T4: Andi Meets Atlantis 10.00 T4: Popworld 11.00 T4: Hollyoaks 12.35 T4: Model Behaviour 1.10 T4: Model Behaviour 1.50 T4: FANatic 2.30 FILM: A Town Like Alice 4.30 Stargate SG-1 5.25 Scrapheap Challenge 6.30 Extinct: The Great Auk 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Not All Houses Are Square 8.00 RIBA Stirling Prize Awards Show Building of the Year 9.00 Elizabeth: Heart of a King 10.00 FILM: Jackie Brown 12.50 Football Italia - La Partita 1.50 The Chequered Flag 2.45 Motorsport on 4: TVR Tuscans 3.15 World Offshore Powerboating Championship 3.40 Motorsport on 4: The Powertour 4.35 Hot Heels Street Luge 5.00 Countdown 5.45 The Magic Roundabout 5.50 Bagpuss
Evening
Sunday 21 October
Congo’s Secret Chimps BBC2 6.10pm
BBC 1
Daytime
Today’s Highlights
Down To Earth BBC1 8.00pm
22
you’re against us,” and the result is a nationwide community of British Muslims wondering where exactly to place their support. Not that they’re alone there; we’re sure we’re not the only ones who would (a) like to see the Taliban pounded into submission and/or death while (b) still hating that cokehead yokel fuck Bush for all he’s worth. This special programme goes to inner-city Birmingham to talk to Muslims there. The overriding question is where their loyalties lie, at a time when their faith is being blamed by many on the attacks – the reality, obviously, being a little more complex than that. Still, as long as no-one lets Margaret Thatcher speak everything should be just fine.
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McFocus
The Gair Rhydd Features Section Free Word 701
Burger wars
PiC: Mike Parsons
This week sees London Greenpeace’s thirteeneth ‘International Day of Action Against McDonald’s’. Ex-employee Ruth Dickenson investigates the allegations held against the multinational fast-food chain
I
t had turned into one of those days during the Easter holidays. I was trying to improve my financial situation by doing a few shifts at McDonald’s, which had been my Saturday job throughout the sixth form. The drive thru was busy and we were understaffed as usual. Some bloke marched into the restaurant and demanded to know why he had been waiting in his "f***ing car for 20 f***ing minutes for his f***ing order, call this f***ing fast food." etc etc. You get the idea. Alan, the manager, was duly called. I like Alan, he's an affable enough bloke, the trouble is he's got no balls and can't stand confrontation. As often happened, he spent about half an hour licking the arse of the customer in question, offering him enough free food to feed a small country, and in the end placated him enough to get him to f*** off. Fair enough, job done; let’s move on, you might think. But I was embarrassed – everyone had seen me getting yelled at by the irate bloke – and I knew I hadn’t been in the wrong. I tried to argue my point later to Alan. The reply? “You can’t waste time worrying about who was right and who was wrong, you’ve just got to give the customers what they
“It was not her sex appeal but the obvious relish with which she devoured the hamburger that made my pulse begin to hammer with excitement”
want.” And that was that. An insignificant incident which I only remembered when I came to write this article. Because it turns out Alan, who I never had down as much of a philosopher, just an overworked and underpaid floor manager, had said something rather profound. On 16 October 1985, ‘London Greenpeace’ (an entirely separate organisation to Greenpeace) launched an ‘International Day of Action Against McDonald’s’. Since then, they have campaigned for local demonstrations against restaurants to take place every 16 October. According to the anonymous Mclibel Support Campaign, previous years have seen people all over the globe boycotting, picketing and protesting. This year, they predict that in some places you’ll get a free veggie burger if you happen to be walking past. In others, you may see people dressed up as Big Macs or Ronald McDonald staging a gruesome death outside a city centre restaurant. Some may be forced to close down, as happened last year in Rome, for others it will be business as usual. So what’s the point? The leaflet “What’s wrong with Mcdonald’s?, published by London Greenpeace members David Morris and Helen Steel in 1989, alleges that the company was guilty of promoting unhealthy food, exploiting workers, robbing the poor, damaging the environment and murdering animals. I hasten to add that McDonalds have vehemently denied these allegations and have been pursuing Messrs Steel and Morris through the Courts for the last 10 years. The claims are pretty serious stuff. The problem for anyone who may be concerned? McDonald’s tastes good. Especially after an exam at Talybont, or a night out, or a Monday...You just can’t stop going to McDonald’s. Well I can’t anyway even though I know perfectly well how corrupt they tell me it is. Life without McFlurrys? Unthinkable. Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s, puts it another way in his autobiography. “It was not her sex appeal but the obvious relish with which she devoured the hamburger that my pulse began to hammer with excitement.” And that’s the secret of McDonald’s success. In the two years I spent smiling and “have a nice day”-ing at people across the counter I learnt a couple of things. You get all sorts coming in – rich people, posh people, students, families, children, polite people and people who just want to swear at you – yet they all speak the universal language of McDonald’s (although some do so more fluently
than others). They love it because it’s cheap, fast and predictable. They all relish it and they all come back. Thanks to Alan, the complainers also come back. This time swearing even louder than before to see how much free stuff they can get. But what about globalisation and the world domination of multinationals? The most famous corporate logo in the world, the golden ‘M’, has come to be symbolic of the supremacy of capitalism. Think of when Yeltsin took over from Gorbachev as president of the Soviet Union. Tanks in streets, Yeltsin addressing the crowds, and queues forming outside McDonalds in Moscow. The communist party lost its grip and capitalism took over. And good old Maccy Dees was a part of it. A major political event symbolised and remembered by the world because of the golden arches in the sky. It is quite frightening when you think about how much power these multinationals have over individuals. I realise how robotic and accepting I had become after a relatively short time working there. But we don’t think about it all that much and certainly during my time as an employee, I concentrated on getting my stars and making it to the end of a shift, either unaware or forgetting the company I was working for. The trouble is that it’s all a bit hopeless. What
difference is an anti-McDonald’s day going to make? It raises awareness that some people have issues but is ultimately futile because it won’t change our behaviour. I return to Alan’s wise words to me that day last summer; “Just give the customers what they want.” We want cheap fast-food. We don’t really want them to be kinder to the environment at the expense of our pleasure and nobody really gives a damn about how much the people who wear the baseball hats and stupid clip on ties are paid because it would mean an increase in prices. And as for globalisation? Well, for as long as people get cravings for Big Macs McDonald’s will keep on expanding. And as long as it keeps expanding people will keep protesting. But like it or not, it’s part of the world’s culture, its here to stay and there’s not an awful lot you can do about it. Focus would like to thank and apologise to Dan McKee, whose article was going to run on this page alongside Ruth Dickenson’s. After consulting with our lawyers we decided that his work contained too much material which could be deemed as libellous. Subsequently, the entire article was cut. We would also like to point out that the article on this page was altered for similar reasons. Ed Holmes.
INSIDE FOCUS THIS WEEK: Terrorism special – the far reaching effects of September 11 investigated • Including Islamophobia in Britain • Blair’s response • Where do we go from here? • Also Walking across France• The demise of 5ive
Focus • 14
Gair Rhydd Monday 15 October 2001
A world reordered The tragic events of September 11 will remain with most forever. However, the full consequences are yet to unfold. Rebecca Pash considers the shape of the new world order.
A
s a third year journalism student confronted with the task of writing a piece about the terrorist bombing of the World Trade Centre and what has occurred since, I am completely out of my depth; submerged under and struggling to comprehend the complex tangle of facts, histories, accounts and testimonies; overwhelmed, like all, by the sheer magnitude of the event, the implications and the uncertainty. Where to start? I am totally unqualified to comment. Registering the scale of the event is beyond me. Words are simply obsolete as a form of representing this tragedy. The images say enough…so much in fact that the vision of the exploding planes and toppling towers are undoubtedly etched in the memories of populations the world over. Few are likely to forget where they were and what they were doing when they first heard the reports and saw the images. Yet wherever you were and whatever you were doing the experience of witnessing the event was probably somewhat similar. We watched television. Our jaws dropped in disbelief but words could not
describe the enormity of what was happening in ‘real time’, right there and then. Before September 11 these were images that belonged on the big screen; it was devastation that seemed fitting only on a film set. This was one of those defining moments of experience and emotion shared the world over through television. The television, perhaps the greatest symbol of the capitalist, civilised western world that was suddenly under attack, now united millions in witness of their way of life being blown apart. Like everyone waking the following morning, I sensed a world profoundly altered. I remember sitting on the tube struck by the realisation that the very same thing was occupying in the mind of every person on that train and indeed every stranger I would pass that day. For that morning, and the following days I was in many ways comforted by the sense of sharing the experience of witnessing this tragic event, of thinking similar thoughts, of asking the same questions. How could such a thing happen? Weeks have passed and today I’m sure we continue to share, maybe not so much in shock but in the uncertainty of what is to come of all this. If anything has grown clearer over the past few weeks is the fact that September 11, despite being a profound and tragic turning point, was by no means the start. The question that emerges now is more a matter of why (rather than how) such a thing has happened? Perhaps it has something to do with the very technology that presented those pictures to us on September 11. It is the same technology that transmits the privileged lives of Western nations into millions of homes throughout the Third World on a daily basis, exposing the poor and homeless to a culture which puts itself on the moral highground. Jealousy? A plausible but shortsighted explanation. Utter hatred is far closer to the truth. Why are there people that despise America and the Western World so much that they are prepared to give up their lives? The answer is of course complex, yet the principle surprisingly simple. Injustice is rarely forgotten and the only resolution is achieved when justice has been served. Until justice is truly observed, any peace treaty will fall short and simply serve as short-lived relief before further hostility and conflict. The consequences of injustice endure for generations, as they have from slavery, the holocaust, and the occupation of Ireland, the nations of what are now South Africa and Israel. It is a pattern of injustice repeated the world over that reveals its true colours in every
instance of conflict, exploitation, poverty, starvation and death. The story is the same in the Middle East. Generations have grown up in refugee camps, erected on the most inhospitable of landscapes that provide no substance on which to live or work. Afghanistan has been blighted by almost twentytwo years of continuous war, four years of drought, an ingrained culture of violence and extreme
Day by day we are bearing witness to moments that are defining and redefining the 21 st centur y
poverty. The world which Osma Bin Laden operates within and draws his support from is consequently one of rage and alienation. Rage at America’s foreign policy which since 1945 has largely alienated Islamic nations of the Middle East and generally depended on the outside world having no direct impact on the lives of most Americans. Anyone who has spent time in America will have recognised that most people, most of the time rarely know or care much about what is going on in the rest of the world. Not any longer. The ‘New World order’ in 2001 undoubtedly requires an American engagement with the rest of the world that is far more conscientious and appropriate. Surely they (and we) must come to realise that taking out Osma Bin Laden and his henchmen is only the answer to an immediate desire for revenge rather than to the long term problem of being hated by people that are prepared to take their own and others’ lives. The pattern of injustice only stands to be repeated as seven and a half million Afghans are in danger of starving this winter. We have learnt that the despair of the poor and unprivileged leads to desperate actions. Now we must look to the past and remind ourselves that injustice breeds injustice and slaughter only brings fresh slaughter. Day by day we are bearing witness to moments and decisions that are defining and redefining the 21st century. If September 11 is to be turned to any good at all, it must lie in some Western humility and determination to redefine a 21st century in which past lessons are learnt and in which world order is based on principles of true justice, freedom, and fairness.
Blair do we go from here?
He’s been compared to Gladstone and Churchill and delivered his most important speech to date. Stephen Cushion examines Blair’s ‘defining week’.
L
ast week Tony Blair laid the political foundations to the current military attacks on the Taliban regime in Afghanistan. His political schedule since September 11 has been industrious but conscientious: acting as the global diplomat, defending the Islamic faith; on top of shaping a new global order in his most ambitious and revealing speech at the Labour party conference. They say a day is a long time in politics, but let’s try dissecting and disentangling the week’s political rhetoric, and reflect on how the newspapers responded to the government’s newly-formed vision on international developments. Before the tragedy in America, the Labour party conference was
billed as the occasion for Blair’s most important speech to date, dispelling public-private debates and revelling in the wake of reelection. This still holds true, but with greater resonance: the eyes of the world, not just Britain, wait, watch and listen. President Blair has his audience. In what The Guardian termed Blair’s “defining week,” the speech last Tuesday afternoon managed, as always, to connect to the consensus, appeasing both the left and right and establishing a solid moral and political platform to engulf the many doubters and cynics. Mixing metaphors of justice, standing “shoulder to shoulder” with America and addressing issues of global inequality, Blair encapsulated a vision that blinded political polarity. “This is a battle
with only one outcome: our victory, not theirs,” Blair said, then switching his focus to humanitarian concerns with reverent aplomb, whilst revealing and projecting his personal rectitude and enlightened impulses, declaring “The starving, the wretched, the dispossessed, the ignorant, they are our cause too.” The day after Blair’s speech, The Times, Daily Telegraph and The Daily Mail appeared to have abandoned their proprietors self-serving political agendas. They all led with heightened speculation that the speech was intended to enter Britain into the Euro-currency by stealth. The sweeping conclusion across the print media tagged Blair a success, elevating his status in world-leader-rankings. The best-selling and the most politically influential paper, The
Focus • 15
Gair Rhydd Monday 15 October 2001
The mis-understood face of Islam
N
ewspapers, television, tabloids, everywhere you look, that familiar face with its long grey beard and white turban stares at you with intense brown penetrating eyes… the face of Osama bin Laden… the face of terror...but is it the face of Islam? All too often Osama bin Laden and his terrorist actions are identified with the Islamic faith: bin Laden is portrayed as the personification of Islamic ideals. Muslim communities worldwide have come under attack both verbally and physically, the scapegoats for a world trying to comprehend the incomprehensible. Bin Laden’s beliefs are, however, as much to do with Muslim ideals as twenty-four hour massage
Sun, relished the new Blairism, exclaiming proudly “We are lucky to have this man as our Prime Minister...Our world is a better place – and a safer one – because of Tony Blair.” The Daily Telegraph, the Tory wielder, reluctantly agreed, calling it Blair’s “Finest Hour.” And the Guardian, the champion of liberalism, hailed it as Blair’s “...most intellectually ambitious and formidable [speech]... “ When the political axis of the Guardian-Daily Telegraph-Sun all agree on the same subject, (albeit for different reasons) Blair knows he has impressed. However, it would be wrong to simply portray Blair’s speech as formidable. Several commentators mocked the tone, the naïve idealism and the neo-presidential delivery. The Times’ Matthew Paris ridiculed Blair’s utopian rhetoric and superior moral overtones: “...Blair left the runway on a limited strike to remove one individual from a hillside in Afghanistan and veered off on a neo-imperial mission to save the entire world.” On the continent, France’s Le Monde criticised Britain’s hypocritical stance on terrorism. Italy’s La Stampa mocked Blair’s determination to promote his own personal seniority in world rankings: “In some phases Blair was seen to be lagging at Bush’s jacket, so as to appear not so much the trusted friend but more the petulant friend or even the
In issuing blame, people’s emotional and irrational response has wrongly translated Islam as the scapegoat for the events of September 11. Focus points out the stark difference between Muslims and terrorists.
parlours are to do with the art of massage; both act merely as a guise for dirty work. Bin Laden’s actions contaminate Islamic ideals and belittle their religion. Yet ignorant people are still intent on blaming Muslims, or anyone wearing a turban, for the tragic events of the past month. On Sunday October 3 Margaret Thatcher, the former Prime Minister, publicly declared that the Muslim communities in Britain had not shown enough condemnation for the attacks on the Twin Towers. “The people who brought down these towers were Muslims and Muslims must stand up and say that this is not the way of Islam…I have not heard enough condemnation from Muslim priests.” This traditional conservative view was quickly distanced from Iain Duncan Smith and his ‘new’ Conservative Party, yet what is worrying is how many people share this right-wing view. In North London alone, three Islamic schools were shut down the day after the attacks on the World Trade Centre following bomb threats and an attempted break in. The Muslim Council of Britain has reported a heightened sense of fear and insecurity amongst British Muslims since September 11. Michele Messaoudi from the Forum Against Islamophobia and Racism revealed many cases of harassment of Muslims in London, the Midlands and Scotland, and believes that there have also been incidents elsewhere. She comments that ‘Muslim women wearing the headscarf are being attacked. Muslim children on their way to and in school are being verbally abused. Muslim and Islamic centres are receiving threats by the hour.’ The events in New York are a tragedy incomprehensible to many but we must not let them become an excuse for racial hatred. Islamophobia has been widely acknowledged since the attacks in America. In true nationalist style the BNP (British National Party) encouraged this fear of Islam. In Oldham, for example, they published leaflets with photos of the planes going into the World Trade Centre underlined by the caption ‘This is what Muslims believe should happen to the West.’ However, Islamophobia is not a new phenomenon. It has been rife in Britain for decades. In 1988 the publication of the much talked about Salman Rushdie book Satanic Verses led to huge irritating friend.” Conversely, American newspapers were unashamedly complimentary in their assessment. The Washington Post, the political establishment of the broadsheets, branded Blair the “closest ally” to America and heralded Blair’s language the most explicit and articulate by any senior officials. Herein lies the problem. Blair’s diplomatic adventures, from Berlin to Washington, and on through to the Middle East, have certainly advanced the dynamic of diplomacy amongst sceptical countries and atoned accords within the forefront of the coalition. However, it has also displaced and detracted from the democracy of debate here. The President of the United States dictates his decrees from his domestic setting, galvanising support in Congress. Blair, on the other hand, imperiously jettisons to collude with hesitant leaders around the globe, thereby flagrantly neglecting Britain’s richest asset: debating the issues that concern the United Kingdom with the democratically-elected members of the cabinet and members of parliament. Last Friday, to reinforce this point, The Wall Street Journal featured a story: “Newest U.S. Ambassador Is Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.” If Blair is using his position of authority as the springboard for support then I applaud. However, political opportunism and
controversy within and against the Muslim faith. Huge demonstrations against the book took place shortly after its publication. Then in February 1989, Ayatollah Khomeni of Iran ordered Muslims to kill Rushdie for his sins against Islam. This did little to improve Islam’s image. While only an extreme minority of Muslims believed that there should be a Fatwah of death on Rushdie’s head, the whole of the Muslim community came under suspicion. NonMuslims were outraged at what they perceived as a religion which dictates that a blasphemer must pay for his crime with his life. To this day there has never been a televised public debate between Rushdie and Islamic scholars allowing both sides could put forward their arguments. Islamophobia is not only seen in riots and in the aftermath of world events, but is a continual presence for many Muslims living in Western societies. The strict dress codes that some Muslims follow often leads to racial abuse and discrimination. In schools and universities it is often hard for students to find quiet places in which to pray, which is essential for those who want to follow the Islamic tradition of praying five times a day. With the images broadcast by the media it is often too easy to associate the word Islam with fundamentalism and extremism. Many people are aware of the extremist group Al-Muhajiroun, banned from campus at the NUS conference last year under the no-racism platform, which is famous for recruiting students to take part in military action. But hardly anyone is aware of that there are more controversial groups within Islam such as Al-Fatiha, an organisation for gay and lesbian Muslims, set up in 1997. Adnam Ali the founder of the British Al-Fatiha group laments that ‘Muslims are always presented just as these bearded old men. And they’re always really badly dressed.’ He, like many other people, wants to see the image of Islam changed for the better. However in the light of recent events it is unlikely that this is going to happen any time soon. In the aftermath of September 11 and in the present political climate, it is imperative that we all understand the stark difference between Muslims and terrorists. To equate the Islamic faith with the horrific events of September 11 is like identifying Catholicism with the Omagh bombing. People who
image-driven agendas will crack easily when they fall by the wayside. Let us remember that America will make the real decisions and execute the permanent political punches. As Andrew Marr, the BBC’s political editor warned, if a cruise missile only slightly misses its target and civilian casualties pile up, the whole tide of Western support could subside – and with it – Blair’s approval ratings. Although parliament has been recalled three times since the tragic events, more transparent governing must be evident in order for support to be sustained. In a week where Blair was compared to Gladstone and Churchill, and The Sun told Maggie to ‘shutup’ over ill-conceived comments, Blair has to be careful of the pitfalls that embrace shortterm headlines. Past Prime Ministers have by the very nature of our society, capitalised on the public opinion formed by patriotic reporting. One thinks of Thatcher’s Churchillian rhetoric in the Falklands, which reinvigorated her sliding political profile and cementing a second term in office. Let us hope Blair governs by clear-sighted morals and not by patriotically effective headlines. Blair’s speech skillfully walked the political tightrope, but at some point he’ll fall. Let us hope he falls to the side of morality and not to the padded comforts that Fleet street offers.
Islam condemns such abhorrent b e h av i o u r … t h e H o l y Q u ’r a n equates the murder of one innocent person with the murder of the whole of humanity kill in the name of G-d and religion in almost all cases defy the religion they believe themselves to be fighting for. Terrorism is not religious. In the terrorist attack Osama bin Laden and his Al-Qaeda organisation mocks the idea of religion, dishonours the word God and brings only shame to the rest of the Islamic world. As Dr. Anas Shaikh-Ali declares on behalf of the Association of Muslim Social Scientists ‘ Such indiscriminate acts of terror are a affront to humanity at large. Islam condemns such abhorrent behaviour…the Holy Qu’ran equates the murder of one innocent person with the murder of the whole of humanity. The perpetrators of this atrocity, regardless of what their religious, ideological or political background may be, stand outside the pale of civilised values.’ Islamophobia is propagated by fear and ignorance. Don’t be ignorant! Don’t be afraid!
Focus • 16
gairrhydd 2001-2002
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Contact us Address Gair Rhydd Cardiff University Students’ Union Park Place Cardiff CF10 3QN Telephone Editorial – (029) 20781434/436 Advertising – (029) 20781416 E-mail ssugr1@cf.ac.uk Visitors Find us on the 4th floor of the Students’ Union
Gair Rhydd Monday 15 October 2001
5ive to none POPSCENE: A distraught Abbi Shaw investigates how it all went horribly Channel 4 for imaginatively titled five-piece boyband 5ive.
P
ray all…amidst the bustle and chaos of the first few weeks of this new semester…a moment of silence. Or, if you’ve had enough of silence, in view of current world events, at least a sharp, emphatic exclamation of woe. Yes, it is true. 5ive are finally, having reigned proud over our good pop industry for so many years, parting company. We should have seen the signs: the video for that classic track Let’s Dance fully demonstrates the long-term suffering of the band in terms of differing artistic intent. Most notably, established member Sean clearly had such irreconcilably diverse musical differences that he felt that he would be best represented by a remarkably lifelike piece of card. Thus it should come as no great
surprise that Ritchie and J sobbed their aching hearts out, sensitive boys that they are, to nations of under-12s on MTV last week, as they told of their increasing discontent, and the ongoing trauma of being part of such a vital and exciting musical unit. How we will miss their cheeky, laddish behaviour, and their irresistibly catchy tracks that they toiled over collectively in the style of a true popular group. 5ive fans of this country, unite and buy their new single Closer to Me. Strange then, that this new release and their sad demise should 5ive left to right: Sean, Scott, J, Abs, Ritchie (the one who lost Bille Piper to Chris Evans), if coincide… you didn’t already know.
Networking
This week, Lizzy Green has been mingling with Tom McGarry, Union President.
Have you been up to anything interesting lately? “Not really although I’ve been very busy. Freshers’ week is an intense time; it’s been fun but I’m ready for a break”. . What exactly does your job involve? “I lead an executive team of nineteen people and I run the commercial side of the union. I’m also completely responsible for finance and I work with student campaigns and policies really just trying to get the best for students.” What are your aims for
MCGARRY: Terrible with money
the year? “Firstly, to inform students that this is their union and they are in charge. Students are not apathetic and I want them to voice their opinions, to get involved in the Student Union council. I aim to set up group meetings so students can discuss random problems they encounter, such as with housing. The union is on a very tight budget. I’ve had to raise bar prices very slightly (although I pledge never to go above £2 for a pint) in order to fund our assets for example Gair Rhydd and minibus transport. I’d urge students to drink in the Union – that way they’re investing in themselves and their own facilities. What were you like at school? Being an overweight child I was incredibly shy but as I grew older and lost weight I became more outgoing. I was never part of the in-crowd at school; I forged my own independent path. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I’m terrible at managing my personal finances; if I have money I spend it. I can handle the Union’s monetary affairs but it’s a different story when the money’s in my pocket. NEXT WEEK: Lizzy swans around the Sherman Theatre, networking with le qui est qui and drinking free wine. At some point she will hopefully find time in her busy schedule to interview Patrick Jones, ultra-modern Welsh poet, playwright and most famously, Nicky Wire’s elder brother.
Enough beating around the Bush. It’s war, eventually... As Bush leads the West into war, Daniel Barnes takes a moment for Tony Blair
O
n a rainy Sunday afternoon, just when I was just retiring to the drawing room for a little light afternoon tea with friends, George Bush eventually decided to start a war. In the spirit of revenge and regaining some sense of national pride, a war is just what America needs, but is it what Great Britain needs? When Tony Blair bumbled around Britain in his playbus ranting in sound-bites about “education, education, education,” he did not account for the fact that the Middle East were getting angry with the West. He did not consider the remotest possibility that there might be even so much a scuffle during his second term in office, let alone a war. Now, however, he has had the shock of his life as Bush has plunged him headlong into a major international conflict. As a result of this sudden tumult of worries, Mr Blair looks old beyond his years.He looks as though he has been dragged through a rainforest sideways.The thing that worries me here is if he is mostly concerned with fighting what is essentially
Ladies who lunch
I
t would be m o s t fashionable and executive this week to have lunch with Sophie EllisBextor, Ronan Keating, Robin Cook, Nelly Furtado, Damon Albarn, Ruby Wax and Gary Lucy, and some
or more members of 5ive, but not Sean. However, it would be deeply unfashionable to have lunch, or indulge in any kind of social interaction with Mark and Lard, O - T o w n , Courtney Love, Patsy Kensit.
BLAIR: pretty damn worried America’s war, when is he going to have time to look after us? It seems to me to be a reasonable cause for concern that Britain may fall into a complacent decline whilst we all worry about war , which will then leave us bare, an open target for attack. Tony Blair’s job, then, is an infinitely complex one: he has to keep Britain ticking over, fight a war, be a family man and run Railtrack at the same time. When postmodern life is such a drama, we should spare a thought for those people who – seemingly voluntarily – have to run the show. After all, the show must go on, but it can’t go on if it is met with apathy or indifference.The important thing in these desperate times is to have an opinion, is to care to some degree or another, and it is for that very reason that Great Britain has had to get involved in this whole affair, so we must accept our international duties gracefully, but at the same time not lose sight of what is best for ourselves as individuals and as a nation.
Births, Deaths, Marriages, Appointments, Mergers and Acquisitions AUGUST 31ST: Kerry exAtomic Kitten Katona gave birth to a healthy, 8lb 2oz baby girl-child called Molly. The father is Bryan Westlife McFadden. Those lovely Westlife boys have given Bryan and Kerry their blessing, saying that they “feel like uncles” to the
child already. J-Lo last week snared her third husband with a highly undercover wedding, which was so secret that the guests were only told where the ceremony was to be held an hour before it started. Samantha Mumba stands to make £2million for letting Gap plaster her image on billboards across the country. Jamie Oliver cooked up a surprise when he announced that he and his wife Jules are expecting a baby. The colour of the week is BLUE.
Focus • 18
Gair Rhydd Monday 15 October 2001
Check In: France
There are many opportunities for the young at heart and nimble of limb to travel around the world and assist in various charity projects. Paul Adams walked across France this summer for the Pedestrian Association.
T
he idea was first put to me on a night out in Bath. My friend Alex Freeman asked me if I was interested in walking across a country. She got the idea when flying into Hong Kong airport whilst reading Ffyona Cambell’s book. After a bit of thought I agreed to join her. Over the next few weeks we started planning all the things we needed to sort out before taking on such a big adventure. Due to the nature of the challenge we had set ourselves, we decided to raise sponsorship for The Pedestrian Association. They are a British based charity that encourages people to walk short journeys rather than take the car. The main campaign they run is ‘Walk to School’, which teaches the benefits of walking to school kids. We contacted the Pedestrian Association, who were more than happy for us to raise sponsorship. More to the point was to increase people’s awareness of the work they do, since most people we talked to had never even heard of them. Other things to sort out included what we’d take with us. We managed to limit our backpacks to the bare minimum by taking
A day earlier I was walking along a road with my morale at an all time low. Now I was walking with a purpose
a good solid pair of boots, some lightweight camping equipment, a few clothes and a first aid kit. The route we decided to take was from Le Havre to Marseilles, since this was coast to coast and looked the flattest route. Ten days after I had finished my exams we caught the train to Portsmouth and the ferry to Le Havre. After a good nights sleep we commenced our walk on the 17 June. We started off slowly for the first few days, walking 8-12 miles a day. By the end of the first week we’d walked about 70 miles. The way we were approaching it was to walk for six consecutive days, then take a rest day. This worked well since the walk could be broken down into achievable distances, so as to concentrate on one section at a time. Besides after six days of walking and sleeping in fields and near roads you need a break. Our first rest day was taken in Vernuil-sur-Avre which was a beautiful town dating back to the 12th century. After a week we had got into a good routine of getting up at sunrise and walking for a couple of hours before taking breakfast. The next bit of walking would be our longest, probably around three hours up until midday, when it got too hot to walk. For lunch we would eat what ever we could get, but usually cold soup or some French bread and cheese. It was also nice to get a bit of sleep at lunchtime, since this was the hottest part of the day and we didn’t start walking again until the middle of the afternoon. A couple more hours walking would bring us up to dinner. Depending on how we felt a little more walking after dinner was often done. Our little gas stove was used for the evening meal, which consisted of rice and vegetables. It may sound plain but believe me having walked over twenty miles in a day it was more than satisfactory. In the evening we would camp wherever we could. We found some nice fields but we were often reduced to simply putting the tent up by the side of the road. In the North of France this was very easy since it’s very rural. Camping was a lot harder in the South since it is more commercial and the route we followed was quite built up. We passed through Orleans where we joined the Loire River. We navigated our way using a map and compass. After two weeks of following a vague route through fields, along roads, over fences and along random paths we made it to a town just South of Orleans. Jargeau, the town, was twinned with my hometown of Corsham. Here I had friends, Alex and Chantel from a French exchange, who looked after us for two nights. Their hospitality was brilliant, giving us nice comfy beds and amazing meals. The French know how to
eat, taking their time between several courses, eating the nicest food and drinking the finest wine. It was really nice to stay in a house; I could really appreciate all the comforts of home. When we started our third week of walking Alex realised she had left her sunglasses behind. To our amazement Alex, the great man he was, cycled to catch up with us and gave Alex her glasses back. This made me realise just how nice people can be. All the way along the walk people would say ‘bonjour’ and ‘bonne voyage’. The amount of lifts we were offered was depressing. People saw us walking and would offer us a lift but each time we had to turn them down. Following the Loire River was really nice. At last we could follow an official footpath. In France they only have long distance footpaths called GR routes. Our footpaths here in Britain are quite unique due to the number of them and the fact you can walk almost anywhere on a footpath in the countryside. The Loire River has numerous Chateaux alongside it, which we passed, including the fairy-tail like Sullysur-Loire. One evening in the third week we got to a point where we would have to walk at least six miles to find somewhere to camp unless we followed a motorway. So we had no choice but to follow the motorway for an hour then set up camp. By this stage I’d had enough. Walking alongside a motorway is not my idea of fun; after half an hour the thoughts going through my head were not good. It got to the point where I wanted to stop walking and just go home. There was no reason in my head to carry on; walking alongside a very busy road brought me to the lowest level on the
walk. When we stopped that night I explained to Alex that I could no longer continue. She was clearly upset by this and I realised how much the walk meant to her. After a lot of thought I decided to continue. We had taken on this walk together, neither of us could do it alone, so it would not be fair if I left. The next day we had our first bit of real bad luck. We were walking alongside a canal when it started to rain. We thought it wise to try and get back on the road. As we pushed on the rain got harder, eventually it turned to thunder and lightning. The rain was torrential. We had to find shelter. Unfortunately we were 6km from the nearest village. Stuck in the middle of a massive thunderstorm with nowhere to go. All we could do was to keep walking. After half an hour of pushing forward, Alex turned to me and said all I want to do is curl up and go to sleep. She said I looked blue. We were both beginning to panic. There was a house up the road, which we tried to get into, but there was no one home. It’s hard to describe exactly what was going through my head. Anyone who has ever been in an electric storm will know what I mean. There is a very strange energy around you. Your mind accelerates and races with thoughts. Looking confused by the side of the road a car pulled up alongside us. We didn’t hesitate and jumped in the back. At this point the walk was at the back of my mind. Freezing cold and soaking wet all I could think of was survival. The lady who picked us up talked to us very quickly in French. Neither of us could understand, but the relief of finding shelter was immense. The lady, Corrine, was a farmer’s wife. She took us back to her farm gave us towels and a nice warm shower. She washed and dried all our stuff and gave us a big four-course meal. Over dinner we met her family. Her husband, Bernard, had a good grasp of English, so we talked about sport and politics. It gave us an interesting insight into how the rural people of France view the world. Her two kids Emily and Pierre were great too. If Corrine had not appeared from nowhere to save us what might have happened does
not bear thinking about. I’m not a religious person but what occurred that day was mystic. It changed my whole approach to the walk and gave me all the motivation I needed to continue. A day earlier I was walking along a road with my morale at an all time low. Now I was walking with a purpose, we owed a lot to the good nature of the people who had helped us along the way. The next day Corrine took us to the mayor’s house where we had a cup of tea and used his computer to write an e-mail to our parents. Later on she dropped us off where she had picked us up. Our walk had now entered a different level. That day we walked 20 miles with real purpose. It was almost exactly half way that this happened. Central France was very beautiful with the countryside looking very similar to that of the English or Welsh countryside. Most of the farms have sheep or cows. For the next two weeks the least we walked in one day was 25 miles. The Massif Central gave us the most spectacular views. Although it was very up and down, it was the most enjoyable section of our walk. We had our final rest day just South of Lyon in a town called Vienne. During the final week we walked through the Rhône valley passing through Montelimar, Valence and Orange. The South of France was full of fruit farms, so it was hard to cross through the countryside. On the whole it was more commercial in the South, I think mainly due to the number of tourists in the area. On the evening of Friday 20 June we arrived in Marseille. Our walk had taken five weeks and we had covered over 600 miles walking the entire length of France. Our fitness levels had improved from walking 8 miles on the first day to over 30 miles on the final two days. I’d eaten good food and lived outdoors. This experience has changed my outlook on life. It was hard work and there were times when I really didn’t think I could continue. But it wasn’t hard to organise, didn’t cost a lot of money and not only benefited me but also a worthwhile charity. We raised over £1000 for the Pedestrian Association and also gave some money to a boy who is undergoing treatment to walk.
Gair Rhydd Monday 8 October 2001
number three by ed holmes
DOLLYWOOD
Focus • 19
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Dr. Henry Jones jr. (Indiana) Harrison Ford - Tigger - Dr. Henry Jones sr. Sean Connery - Shawn the sheep 1) You know, sharing your adventures is an interesting experience.
3) Well I’m as human as the next man.
6) Do you remember last time we had a quiet drink? I had a milk shake.
This week, a classic father/son scene. Indy and his estranged father, Henry Jones have just escaped Nazi Germany with the precious Grail Diary. Dr. Jones Sr. has spent his entire life in pursuit of The Holy Grail, neglecting his fatherly duties in the process. Indiana has been sent to Venice to find his kidnapped Father who has been working there with Dr. Elsa Schneider, whom both men have got to know. Indy tracks his Father down at a castle in Saltzburg and then the fun begins. In this scene, both men are on a Zeppelin escaping from the Nazis. Indy trys to bond with his father. 7)Hmmm... What did we talk about?
4) I was the next man. 2) That’s not all we shared. It’s disgraceful. You’re old enough to be her father, her grandfather.
5) Ships that pass in the night.
10) A regret it was just the two of us, dad. It was a lonely way to grow up. For you too. If you had been an ordinary, average father like the other guys’ dads, you’d have understood that.
8) We didn’t talk. We never talked. 11) Actually, I was a wonderful father. Did | ever tell you to eat up? Go to bed? Wash your ears? Do your homework? No. I respected your privacy and I taught you selfreliance.
Careers Fair 2001 Don’t Take
2nd
Best
Maximise Your Potential AIESEC Careers Fair 2001 Date Time Location
-
Wednesday 24th October 10am-4pm Great Hall, Students’ Union
www.careersfair.org
9) And do I detect a rebuke? 12) What you taught me was that I was less important to you than people who had been dead for 500 years in another country. And I learned it so well that we’ve hardly spoken for 20 years.
14) Very well. I’m here now. What do you want to talk about? 15) Well. I can’t think of anything.
13) You left just when you were becoming interesting.
16) Then what are you complaining about?
JUSTIN GYPHION 21 but still
a child...
A
s I was looking out of the window whilst writing this article, all I could see was grey clouds and sheets of rain. Which started me thinking, back to my sunnier days and my holiday in Greece with my girlfriend over the summer. A particularly humorous incident occurred when we were eating out at a typically Greek Taverna, originally and aptly named ‘Zorba’s’. Anyone who has ever been to Greece will know what your typical Greek waiter is like – dark haired, greasy-looking ladies man would cover it nicely. On this particular occasion the Greek waiter approached the table where we were sitting and said to me in a very thick and typically Greek accent – “I hope you don’t mind me saying, Sir, but your girlfriend, she has very nice eyes”. I took this as a compliment towards her, but my girlfriend, mistaking the thick Greek accent thought he had said, “she has very nice ARSE!” She then proceeded to grope the waiter’s bum and in return told him that he didn’t have a bad arse either. Needless to say there was a certain amount of embarrassment. Well, all that is greatly beside the point, especially because I’ve agreed to write a law related commentary on the funnier side of the subject, but my extremely clever link is that lawyers and those who come up against them can make themselves look like ARSES almost as frequently. This week my research has come up with a precious little legal anecdote which I hope you will
find equally amusing. Judges, in general, are not known for their startling sense of humour, but the following story tickled my ribs. A well renowned High Court judge was sentencing a burglar – ‘Jones’, who thought that he was going to get, at most, a two year jail sentence. The judge, however (not feeling particularly lenient on that day) sentenced him to four years. As the prison officer was taking Mr. Jones ‘down’, Jones said “You old wanker”, thinking that he was out of earshot of the judge, but unfortunately this old wrinkly had perfectly honed hearing. The judge instructed the prison officer to return Jones to the dock and said – “that will be another six months for contempt of court!” The judge continued to give Jones a good old-fashioned dressing down and proceeded, “Mr. Jones. When I leave this place of justice this evening, I will go home to my house, which backs onto the River Thames. I will be greeted on the doorstep by my dear wife, who will then pour me a Gin and Tonic which I will take into the garden to enjoy until my evening meal is ready, which I believe today is pheasant with all the trimmings. With that meal we will share a good bottle of wine, perhaps a 1984 Chateau Briand. “After our meal we will retire to our drawing room, where I will have another Gin and Tonic and light up one of my favourite Cuban cigars, then listen to some of the best classical music before retiring to my bed. Whereas you, Mr. Jones, are going to spend the night in Wormwood Scrubs! So you tell me, Mr. Jones – who’s the wanker now!”
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Llwch Nid llychyn pob llwch...
BLWCHLLWCH@CARDIFFSTUDENTS.COM CROESO! Dyma dudalen newydd sbon danlli yn y Gymraeg. Tudalen ffres a llawn bywyd. Bob pythefnos bydd Llwch yn cynnig cipolwg wahanol ar y byd a’i bethau. Hwyl, miri ac ambell beth mwy difrifol (wel, rhaid cael rhywbeth felly weithiau!). Dyma dudalen Gymraeg sy’n mentro sôn am bethau
tu hwnt i Gymru fach - ond heb ei hanghofio chwaith. Os oes gennych unrhyw syniadau ar gyfer y dudalen neu os hoffech gyfrannu rhywbeth yna cysylltwch â ni ar unwaith. Cofiwch hefyd anfon eich sylwadau a’ch ymateb i’r dudalen. Gobeithio yn wir y byddwn yn llwyddiant ac yn gadael pawb arall yn y llwch...
Y CWMWL WEDI’R GLAS LLONGYFARCHIADAU! Na, ‘da ni ddim yn wallgof felly peidiwch a throi’r dudalen...ond... llongyfarchiadau. Mae hi hanner ffordd drwy fis Hydref rydych chi dal yma, dal yn fyw ac yn dal i allu darllen! Gyda’r Nadolig ‘mond rhyw ddeufis i ffwrdd, dim ond atgof gwan yw holl bryder a chynnwrf yr haf pan mai dim ond poeni am wneud ffrindiau newydd ac edrych ymlaen at ryddid oedd yn llenwi’ch dyddiau. Ond wedi glanio yma ac wedi bod ymhob ffair a pharti croeso, anodd yw peidio teimlo ar goll wrth gerdded drwy’r gwynt a’r glaw o ddarlith i ddarlith yn casglu dim ond rhestrau darllen,
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traethodau ac amserlenni. Yr un yw rhybudd pob rhiant balch wrth iddynt ffarwelio â’u cyw bach o’r nyth cawn ein hatgoffa’n dragwyddol mai yma i weithio yr ydym ni er mor bwysig ydi mwynhau ein hunain. Ond prin iawn yw’r bobl sy’n cofio hyn wrth i broblemau llawer mwy pwysig hawlio sylw; pwy fydd yn rhannu’ch cartref am y flwyddyn nesaf? Sut fath o bobl fydd eich ffrindiau newydd? Ond bwysicaf oll, be fydden nhw’n feddwl ohono chi? Y problemau hyn sy’n gwneud Wythnos y Glas yn un o’ch profiadau mwyaf dryslyd fel myfyriwr ac nid wythnos gorau’ch bywyd coleg fel y mynnai nifer. Ar ôl cynnwrf dryslyd yr wythnos draddodiadol hon, mae realiti moel yr holl sefyllfa’n eich taro chi. Rydych newydd adael cartref, wedi ffarwelio a ffrindiau a theulu ac wedi glanio mewn lle hollol ddieithr a phawb o’ch cwmpas yn mynnu bod yn or- hapus drwy’r
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MAE’N SWYDDOGOL: ar ôl treulio deunaw mlynedd yn ymarfer iaith y nefoedd, dysgu i’w darllen hi, llwyddo i ennill graddau clodwiw mewn TGAU a Lefel A yn y Gymraeg a thalu dros £3,000 i’w hastudio yn y Brifysgol, dydy fy Nghymraeg i ddim yn cyrraedd safon uchel yr Undeb. Wedi wythnos o lusgo’n nhraed i fyny ac i lawr grisiau’r Undeb yn f ’ymdrech i sicrhau aelodaeth, casglu’r siec hollbwysig fydd yn caniatáu imi fedru aros am flwyddyn arall (ac wrth gwrs er mwyn archebu tocynnau Jive Hive), roedd llygaid y poster gan Radio X-Press (yr un hynod o grefftus a thu hwnt i safon fy Nghymraeg i) yn parhau i’m dilyn a pheri dirgelwch adeg. Mae pawb mor awyddus i sicrhau eu bod yn gwneud argraff dda ar eu ffrindiau newydd nes bod eu bochau’n brifo o’r holl wenu. Yr hyn sy’n gwneud popeth yn fwy anodd i’w ddeall yw eich bod chithau hefyd yn un o’r bobl yma sydd o mor rhyfedd! Gwirionedd yr holl beth yw eich bod wedi llwyddo byw drwy Wythnos y Glas i sylwi eich bod yn 'nabod pawb i ddweud helo wrthynt ar y stryd, yn gwybod yn union o le mae nhw'n dod, pa gwrs mae nhw'n 'neud a pha bynciau lefel A wnaethon nhw astudio,
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Fuoch chi rioed...?
XPRESS MAE GWYLIADWRUS CHI DYN GWRANDAWWR!
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Torrwch, cadwch a chwblhewch! Wedi gwneud ____ Dyddiad ______
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yn y dydd mae’r dr yn fywiog. Nid oes dyfnder i’r pwll felly peidiwch â phlymio. Dylech adael y fan, os heb anaf, wedi profi adfywiad gyda’r fantais na fyddwch angen bath yn y bore! Os am ddyfalbarhau yn y maes hwn, efallai y byddai diddordeb gennych ymweld â Bae Caerdydd, Gerddi Alexandra a’r atyniad newydd sbon yn Sgwâr Bute.
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HANFODOL AM her yng Nghaerdydd Prancio yn y Pistyll (ie wir, dyna’r cyfieithiad am fountain!) Am genedlaethau erbyn hyn, mae myfyrwyr y ddinas hon wedi coroni’u nosweithiau mewn modd gwlyb a gwallgof dan wyliadwriaeth Neuadd y Ddinas. Ceir pwll nofio gwych ar y ffordd adref o’r dre a rhaid ei fynychu cyn gadael y Brifysgol. Doeth yw ymweld â’r fan hon mewn dillad tywyll os nad yw crys-T tryloyw yn mynd â’ch bryd. Ond os mai doethineb yw’r peth olaf ar eich meddwl, ewch â photel o Fairy Liquid gyda chi: diddorol yw’r canlyniad. Mynd yn y nos sydd orau ond
mawr i mi. Es ati’n gydwybodol i dwrio yng ngeiriadur yr hen Bruce a phrynu’r llyfr swmpus Gramadeg y Gymraeg yn fy ymdrech i sicrhau fy nealltwriaeth llwyraf o’r poster deallus. Ond, yn anffodus methiant fu’r perwyl a bu rhaid imi ddod i ddygymod â’r ffaith na fyddaf fyth yn cyrraedd y safon uchel o’r Gymraeg a gafodd ei arddangos ar boster Radio XPress mor eithriadol o gelfydd yn ystod Wythnos y Glas. Ond dyna ni, does dim pwynt boddi yn fy anwybodaeth! Dwi am fynd i chwilio am ysbrydion (yn ymyl y caniau cwrw) yn Sainsbury’s … ond yn methu'n lan a chofio'u henwau! Cymysglyd iawn yw'r hyn yr ydym yn llwyddo'i gofio, ond, na phoener, dim ond megis dechrau ar fywyd coleg yr ydych. Dim ond un cyngor syml hawdd i'w gofio sydd gennym i'w gofio - ymunwch â chymaint o wahanol gymdeithasau a chlybiau ac y gallwch gan wneud yn sir eich bod yn gwneud digon heb wneud gormod ac erbyn gwyliau Nadolig byddech yn ysu am y cyfle i adrodd holl hanes y tymor wrth bawb adref.
Galw’r Gwyllt CORFF YN gleisiau i gyd. Traed o’r golwg dan fol cwrw. Rhifau amheus ar eich ffôn, a’r teimlad rhyfedd eich bod wedi treulio neithiwr ar ben bwrdd. Ydy hyn yn canu cloch? Dyma’ch cyfle felly i hawlio’ch statws fel person mwyaf gwyllt Caerdydd! Bob pythefnos, bydd Llwch yn gosod cwestiwn yn ein cais i
ddarganfod eich straeon gwallgof chi. Crafwch eich pennau er mwyn codi cywilydd ar ffrind neu ymfalchïo yn eich campau eich hunain. Dyma’r cwestiwn cyntaf: “Beth yw’r peth rhyfeddaf sydd wedi ffendio’i ffordd i’ch poced (neu fag!) ar noson allan?” E-bostiwch eich helyntion i
blwchllwch@cardiffstudents.com
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Llwch yw: Cerys Jones, Annest Waters, Sioned Bevan ac Eleri Cunningham
Gair Rhydd Monday 15th October 2001
Focus • 21
Society Scene News from the Society Circuit
Xpress A Yourself Xpress Radio is Cardiff’s award winning student radio station. Laura Bridges gives you the low down on how you can get involved...
s you journeyed through the union last week, you may have been vaguely aware of something quite spectacular going on around you. If you listened more closely you would have realised that Xpress Radio was easing you through the madness of freshers week. This may have raised a few questions: What is Xpress Radio? How can I get involved? Who runs Xpress Radio? Xpress Radio is your radio station - run BY students, FOR students it aims to cater for all your requirements - keeping you up to date with all the latest student news as it happens (which no other radio station can do!) and playing the music you want to hear. Based on the fourth floor of the students union, Xpress Radio currently plays through the union building, but as of november we will be broadcasting on 106.8fm around Cardiff. Any student can get involved in Xpress Radio. It’s not just about the DJ’s - we have many different teams which you can be involved with ranging from events to production and sales to IT. We saw a lot of you at our big welcome meeting on September 28th, BUT do not worry if you missed the meeting; you can join Xpress at any time during the year! A lot of people ask if they can join more than one team, and the answer is that you can join as
many as you want. The work conscious student may ask how much time they have to commit, it is again entirely up to you, but the guarantee is that the more you put in the more you will get out of being involved. Membership is £10 for the year. If you want to join then come up and visit us in the Xpress offices, and if you want to find out more check out our website on www.xpressradio.co.uk. Xpress Radio is run by a team of 15 students who oversee the different departments within the station. The big boss is station manager Emma Gait-Carr, who as a non-sabbatical has to ensure that the station runs smoothly and that all Union staff and students are informed of what is happening at Xpress Radio. Emma is answerable to Chief Executive of Xpress Radio, Elaye Clarke (Communications and Community Officer) Our first social is happening on Tuesday the 9th October in the Woodville. During the night the nominations for the Radio One Student Radio Awards will be announced, so fingers crossed for Xpress!. The night begins at 8pm and we hope to see you there!
CONTACT DETAILS Xpress Radio are located on the Fourth Floor of the union. www.xpressradio.co.uk
Sport ● 22
gairrhydd, Monday 15 October 2001
Beckham set to be big in Japan WORLD CUP PREVIEW ENGLAND GREECE
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Pete Samson
BECKHAM: Could make a Korea out of this
AFTER SINGLE-handedly dragging England to the World Cup David Beckham can expect a warm reception in Japan and South Korea. The England captain will be the biggest star at the greatest show on earth due to his adoring fan base in the Far East – placing him at the centre of the biggest security operation ever mounted at the finals. But at least the midfielder is now justifying the god-like status he has been elevated to by adoring Japanese and English kids alike. If it was not for Beckham’s contribution last Saturday – his tireless legs, his iconic leadership and of course his 93rd minute goal – Greece would have ruined England’s party just as Germany did in Wembley’s last game a year ago. However, Beckham, playing all over the park produced a wonderful display and goal. But despite last Saturday being the worst team performance of Sven Goran Errikson’s nine-month reign, the progress he has made since Kevin Keegan’s departure cannot be denied. With a competitive record of five wins and one draw the Swede got England’s orient express back on track. But he knows that winning Asia’s first World Cup will be a very hard task. It is likely that England will not be seeded for the tournament – with the German’s themselves likely to pip them if they
overcome their play-off with the Ukraine. England’s ninth place in the FIFA rankings – three above Germany – is unlikely to counter-balance the German’s superior record in recent World Cup’s. With holders France and co-hosts Japan and South Korea seeded automatically there are only five places available. Three of these will go to pundit’s favourites Argentina, consistent performers Italy and, assuming they qualify, Brazil. The other two seeded places are wide open, with contenders other than England and Germany including Portugal, Spain, Croatia, Paraguay, Sweden, Nigeria and Cameroon. The Czech Republic and Romania will also have a shout if they come through their play-off matches. However, despite avoiding the big-guns, there is little else to be gained from seeding. Each team will play its group matches in different venues, many hundreds of miles apart in what promises to be a very different World Cup. A team could find themselves travelling 3,500 miles, visiting seven different stadiums in seven games, and shuttling twice between Japan and South Korea on the way to the final in Yokohama. And for any fans who plan on making the pilgrimage to the Far East the travelling will just be the start of a very expensive adventure.
According to travel agents the 31-day tournament will cost fans more than $4,500 in flights, match tickets, hotels and living expenses. Supporters looking for budget accommodation may find themselves in converted brothels or capsule hotels – where you sleep in a plastic coffin and share a huge communal bath. With pints of lager starting at eight quid many England fans may be put off, but despite their stereotype as the world’s biggest lightweights, Japan and Korea is a boozers paradise. In Japan beer is available in vending machines on street corners and the national drink of Korea is a pint of lager with a shot of pure alcohol dropped in for good measure. The Korean Tourist Board marketing manager Nigel Lloyd last week confirmed that martial-arts trained policewomen are set to take the streets to keep unruly fans in order. “All supporters will be allowed to drink,” Lloyd said. “Koreans like a drink and there seems to be a certain amount of worldwide ignorance of what Koreans are like.” However, he warned: “A frontline of policewomen could be brought in to defuse potentially difficult situations. These girls are trained in kung fu and martial arts and could floor anyone.” Let’s hope they can keep their eyes off David Beckham for long enough.
Hartson the hero as Wales finally win WORLD CUP QUAL JJR Callows
WALES FINALLY laid to rest the ghost of the Millennium Stadium as a second-half goal by John Hartson secured their first win at their new home. It was also their first success of this qualifying campaign, which sees them finish with nine points from ten games and halts their poor run of form. Goalscorer Hartson was in jubilant mood after the game. “It was vital to win, because all week we’ve had horrendous things said about the team being the worst side in Welsh football history.” Mark Hughes was also upbeat following his sides win even though several players were missing. “I believe that our campaign in group five has given us a lot of positives. We were missing a number of players and for the lads to come in and play as they did, missing so many great players, is a credit to them.” Craig Brown’s reign as Scotland manager came to an end as his team could only manage a 2-1 win over Latvia. To qualify they had to rely on Croatia losing and themselves scoring six. However, goals from Dougie Freedman and David Weir were not enough. After announcing his decision to quit Brown said; “I’m very happy with the response I’ve had from the players.” Brown defended the attitude of
his players after they were booed off at the end of the game. “I don’t think in my time there has ever been a Scotland team not trying.” Walter Smith and Alex McCleish have already been suggested as Brown’s replacement. In a fiery game in Valetta, Northern Ireland’s manager and coach were sent from the dug-out after David Healy had converted a penalty to secure a 1-0 win. The win ended Northern Ireland’s qualifying with seven points in their last three games and a final position of fifth in group three. After the match, manager Sammy McIlroy explained what had happened. “I did throw the ball, but I didn’t mean to hit the player in the face. As soon as I did it I knew how stupid it was and I apologised straight away but the referee didn’t want to know.” Although the Republic of
Ireland had qualified for the play-offs before the game against Cyprus, the identity of their opponents is still unknown. Their 4-0 win included goals from Ian Harte, David Connolly, Roy Keane and a record breaking twenty-first from Niall Quinn who overtakes Frank Stapleton as the Republic’s alltime leading goalscorer. “I am thrilled but I don’t consider myself to be the greatest Irish goalscorer of all time,” stated Quinn. Matters in the Middle East mean that Mick McCarthy will have to wait to see who his side will be playing. “All the indications are that if anything happens with the crisis, it’ll be a one-off game on neutral territory.” They could now face a tricky match against Iran, Uzbekistan, Saudi Arabia or the United Arab Emirates.
WALES: Secured well deserved triumph at last
CARDIFF KAYAKING Anna Mitchell Cardiff ’s kayakers left the rainy Welsh valleys behind this summer, heading out to the French Alps to enjoy scorching weather and superb whitewater. After a 24-hour minibus ride the team arrived at the famous Rabioux campsite, a haunt for paddlers throughout the summer months. The first day allowed for relatively relaxed paddling down the river Durance, giving everyone an opportunity to fine tune basic whitewater technique, whilst soaking up the sun at the same time. The following day the group visited the Briancon Gorge,
expecting challenging but passable water. Unfortunately water levels in the area are notoriously difficult to predict owing to the substantial effect of glacial melt and thawing snow. The quantity of water meant that only experienced paddlers were able to enter the river and the rest of the day was spent back in the Durance. In the following days it became obvious that water levels had increased restricting available waterways. Various rivers were attempted, as the organisers strove to provide opportunities for all levels of ability. Paddles increased throughout the week alongside a noticeable improvement in confidence. The more competent paddlers attempted classic runs down the Lower Guisane, the Durance Gorge and the Gyr.
Sport ● 23
gairrhydd, Monday 15 October 2001
Welsh lambs to the slaughter in Europe HEINEKEN CUP MONTFERRAD CARDIFF RFC
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Chris Wathan IN THE field of European rugby, there is no room for sympathy. As the debate over the future of the domestic game in Wales lingered on, Welsh clubs were spared no pity by counterparts from France and England in the latest round of Heineken Cup matches. Save from an uninspiring Llanelli victory and a last ditch Newport success, it was a disappointing weekend for the Welsh clubs at a time when they really needed to show their mettle. But out of the five clubs on display, it was Cardiff that really let themselves down when they crumbled at the hands of powerful French outfit Montferrand in a 37 points to 10 loss. Last year’s Welsh/Scottish league runners up had travelled across the channel on the back of an impressive performance against Northampton, and had good reason to be confident in avenging the forty point reverse they had suffered against the same side two seasons ago. However, the Northampton result looked a million miles away in a dire showing by the Blue and Blacks. "We made basic mistakes and missed our first time tackles, we had poor lineout ball and our concentration levels were not good," said coach Rudy Joubert. As damning as the South African was in his verdict on his
side, he certainly hit the mark. The game was effectively won and lost in the opening half hour with Cardiff ’s only try coming late on and after a violent red mist had settled upon the pitch and reduced their Gallic opponents to twelve men. Cardiff were not helped by the injury-induced early departure of skipper Dai Young. No-one really stepped up to the French team’s challenge, whilst Rhys Williams did himself no favours for international consideration with a performance he will not want to remember. Home results are now vital for the capital club if progress to the knockout stages is to be accomplished, and fans will be counting down the days until a full strength Cardiff side can take the field once more. A Tom Voyce hat-trick was the difference between Bath and Swansea as the Welsh champions crashed 38-9 at the Rec. Both sides have struggled so far in their respective domestic competitions but defensive frailties and a whistle happy referee made it easy for the West Country side in the end. It was a game that the All Whites could – and perhaps should – have won and will do nothing to help the argument surrounding their potential merger with Neath. Bridgend succumbed to a second successive defeat as Castres overcame the Ravens 35-23, but the European Cup newcomers again showed signs of potential during a brave second half fight back. Meanwhile, Llanelli recorded a first win versus Perpignan despite the French team’s continuous desire to kill
Lions supremo loses his pride RUGBY UNION J.L O’Sullivan NICKY ROBINSON
JAMIE ROBINSON
the ball at any opportunity. It is only Newport that have managed to rack up two wins on the trot by disposing of former winners Toulouse in dramatic last minute fashion, with Shane Howarth yet again the hero of Rodney Parade. As the battles in the boardrooms of Welsh rugby continue to intensify to similar
levels as those on the pitch, it is surely time for the respective representative sides to let their rugby do the talking, a feat yet to be achieved on a consistent basis by anyone. If the prospect of the end of club rugby and over a century of tradition is not incentive enough, you have to wonder what is.
THE MID-90'S was a time of great flux and uncertainty in rugby union. The onset of professionalism made the erstwhile easily ignored concept of commercial viability a priority. The onus was placed on the clubs and governing bodies of world rugby to squeeze as much from their players as was possible. This brave new world was surely no place for such anachronisms as the Barbarian Football Club, United Services versus New Zealand on a sodden Tuesday afternoon in autumnal Portsmouth or for that matter the British Lions. Stadia were filled and media interest flared for Australia, 2001. Enhanced public interest in rugby football and the British and Irish Lions was reflected in the fact that a number of the touring party fronted newspaper columns back home. The tour was a stuttering affair and seemingly unchecked media access gave the more vociferous tourists an outlet from which to vent their frustrations in the most divisive manner. Both Colin Charvis and Malcolm O'Kelly lamented their
lack of opportunity and criticised selection policy. However, the two most infamous and adept exponents of the art of publicly airing dirty laundry were Northampton's Matt Dawson and his England colleague Austin Healey. Dawson openly criticised coach Graham Henry on the day of the first test. His outburst can be seen as related to his chagrin at occupying the number two scrum half berth behind Rob Howley. Dawson was rightly chastised and fined. Healey's famously ridiculous assault on Justin Harrison, the Australian lock who subsequently played out of his skin during the third and deciding test was also insane. Indeed, Healey distanced himself from the ill-judged rant, but nevertheless was fined and at least must accept some of the responsibility for entering in to the oddly Faustian arrangement and exposing himself so utterly. However the mud continues to fly, even now. On the eve of the publication of his new book, Henry's Pride Inside the Lions, Graham Henry has sold his own story to a tabloid newspaper, and the saga continues. Both Dawson and Healey are heavily criticised as is Eddie Butler. Henry, one suspects, should know better.
First XI skipper looks forward to BUSA UNI SPORT FOCUS Tristan Thomas and Michael Pearlman speak to First XI football skipper Paul Lawrence FOLLOWING THEIR agonising relegation from division 1 at the end of last season, Cardiff’s first XI will be desperate to improve this time around. The team has been strengthened with the addition of three new freshers. As the season climaxed last year Cardiff were left needing a point from their last two matches against UWIC and Ponty, to avoid relegation. Unfortunately they lost both games 2-1 and the Second Division beckons for this season. They begin the campaign without striker Phil Patel who has torn his hamstring, a blow that will worry coach Mike Oswald, in his second year at the helm.
Patel has played an important role in the past, scoring some important goals. However, team Captain Paul Lawrence believes his strikers will not lack pace and strength with Nico Algieri and Gaz Maughan leading the line. Algieri was a particularly impressive performer last season, notching up goals regularly. Early season form indicates improvements across the board, with a fine win against Bristol, and a respectable score draw against Brunel, a talented BUSA side. However, the side was embarrassed away at Exeter last Wednesday, losing a very one sided game disappointingly 7-1. However, the second, third and forth teams will provide encouragement, with Cardiff winning all three ties and the second side yet to concede this season. First team captain Paul Lawrence is upbeat about their chances this year.
“Obviously we would like to qualify and win the Welsh Cup and qualify for the final stages BUSA. Our result in Exeter was surprising considering our other early season form but we have four strong sides this term and we will only get better as our players begin to gel.” The firsts play Glamorgan on Wednesday hoping to improve on these mixed recent friendly results. Certainly they will wish to lay to rest the moral crushing defeat in Devon which sent shock waves throughout the set-up and prompted questions over the mental strength of the team. Lawrence however, remains confident as to his teams chances in the opening BUSA game. “Glamorgan are a good side but I feel that we have the quality to beat them. Nico and Gaz should certainly give them plenty to think about, and we will be looking to defend better as a team”.
FIRST XI: Hopeful of a fine season
Sport
UNI SPORT FOCUS RETURNS: We talk to the First XI football captain
Gair Rhydd
PLUS: Heineken Cup heartache Free Word 701
Monday 15 October 2001
Sam threatens to quit BLUEBIRD CHECK
BRISTOL CITY CARDIFF CITY
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Nabil Hassan live from Ashton Gate
CARDIFF CITY supremo Sam Hammam has threatened to quit the Bluebirds if Cardiff City Council refuse his plan’s for a £50 million stadium at Leckwith. Hammam had hoped for a 30,000 all seater stadium to be built on the site which currently houses Cardiff Athletics Stadium at Leckwith. Plans were also in place to renovate the area around the new stadium into a massive commercial development. However, Hammam’s dream of a new stadium that would eventually accommodate 60,000 Bluebird’s supporters looks to be coming up against stiff opposition. The Bluebird’s supremo has admitted that without a new stadium
City will be in the duldrums and have no real future saying: “If we don’t have a new stadium then we are going nowhere, if we are going nowhere, I will have failed and I will not hang around for long.” He admits though that it would be hard for him to turn his back on something that for the last 14 months has been his life. “It will be hard to walk away from something I have grown to love and I would, of course, make sure everybody is OK within the club. I would leave honourably.” Hammam has spent big since arriving at Ninian Park splashing out more than £10 million pounds on bringing success to Ninian Park. His spending has included big money transfers on players such as Graham Kavanagh, Spencer Prior and of course £1.8 million striker Peter Thorne. He also re-vamped Ninian Park this summer increasing the capacity from 14,000 to 21,000 as well as developing other parts of the stadium. His departure would be a massive loss to Cardiff City who have gained promotion and look set for further success with him at the helm. Meanwhile his City side travelled across the Severn Bridge last week for a crucial league match against high-flying second division outfit Bristol City. More than 3,000 Bluebirds fan’s
made the journey to Ashton Gate to witness a game that could and possibly should have seen City come home with all three points Robert Earnshaw was back for the Bluebird’s in a side that also saw Jason Bowen and Paul Brayson start. In an action packed first-half City produced their best footballing display of the season, passing the ball with speed, skill and for a change accuracy. Despite being the away team Cardiff dominated the first-half playing with verve and vigour that saw them create at least three clear cut opportunities. Earnshaw had the best of them firing just wide of the Bristol goal after Willie Boland and Jason Bowen had carved The Robins’ defence wide open. Earnshaw made amends on the stroke of half-time. Jason Bowen had clearly been felled in the area by Brian Tinnion, leaving the referee no choice but to point to the spot. Earnshaw calmly dispatched the ball into the top left-hand corner for 1-0. The second half saw The Robins’ predictably go all out for the equaliser with Cardiff looking to hit Bristol on the break. Indeed it didn’t take Bristol City long to equalise. Mickey Bell hit a superb 20-yard shot into the back of the net on the
55th minute to put City level. Both teams continued to pressure the opposing defence but it was City who looked to have all three points in the bag at the death. Unfortunately the normally reliable Earnshaw blazed over when it looked easier to score on the stroke of full-time.
Bluebird’s boss Alan Cork was understandably pleased with his side’s performance saying: “The boys worked hard and deserved a point, we must build on this. Remember that we have only played badly once this season against Cambridge United when we were awful throughout the game.”
SWANSEA CITY FACE CRISIS AFTER SENSATIONAL SACKING OF SEVEN PLAYERS
Swans in turmoil SWANS CHECK Chris Evans New Swansea City chairman Tony Petty has sacked seven members of his first team squad in an astonishing catalogue of events at the Vetch Field. A plethora of the Swan’s lauded stars including Steve Watkin, John Williams, Jason Smith, Michael Keegan and their much sought after centre back Matthew Bound have been given their marching orders. Recent aqusitions Romo and the Argentinian U21 international Metsina have also been ordered to leave. Furthermore, first team regulars Appleby, Coates, Freestone et al have been ordered to take a seventy percent cut in their wages, or consider the option of accepting to leave on a free transfer. Even skipper Nicky Cusack has fallen under the chairman’s
sword and has been forced to yield to such reductions. Youth team coach Ron Walton, a stalwart of 18 years service for the Swans has been axed, whilst goalkeeper coach Glen Letheren has been ordered to follow suit. Captain Cusack, also the club’s PFA representative, has revealed that he has been seeking advice from the Professional Footballers Association as retaliation to the events. “The PFA have processes to deal with this sort of situation, but the players involved are devastated,” he commented. The situation shatters the concept of player’s contracts and, in a cynical turnaround, challenges the old adage that players regularly fail to loyally honour their contracts. “We’ve all signed contracts in good faith. It’s up to the clubs to honour them” Cusack added. PFA chairman, ex-Wales international Barry Horne, has pledged his support. The players have families to
support and mortgages to pay, but Horne has vowed, “The players will be no worse off. I can guarantee that.” Fortunately for Swansea fans, the players have promised not to go on strike, even though the façade has threatened the future of Swansea City Football Club. Although the exact details are somewhat sketchy, it is claimed that Petty bought the club, and its £800,000 worth of debts, with the security and financial clout of a monied Australian backer. The backer has withdrawn its support, leaving Petty desperate to reduce the club’s outgoing costs, thus prompting the massive clear out at the Vetch. Even if the PFA fail to adequately resolve the problem, Petty will undoubtedly feel the backlash from the Swansea City faithful, and may be forced out. Doubt remains about each and every Swansea City player’s future, and the forboding prospect of the end of Swansea City FC as a whole.
STEVE WATKIN: Sacked
COLIN ADDISON: From Athletico Madrid to crisis at the Vetch
GAIR RHYDD IS PUBLISHED BY CARDIFF UNIVERSITY STUDENTS’ UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN ■ TEL: (029) 2078 1400 EXT. 434 ■ REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE ■ PRINTED AT WEST COUNTRY PUBLICATIONS, PLYMOUTH ■ THE GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS ■ THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS ■ THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF, UNIVERSITY OF WALES ■ I’VE NEVER SEEN A BLACK DWARF BEFORE ■ I KNOW MY LIMIT. 5000 LINES BUT ■ OI SCARFACE CHILL OUT. SAVE SOME SKAG FOR BLADON