Inside GRiP: Mclusky do Cardiff the only way they know how
Spring into summer Features look at fashion for the coming months Printed at Westcountry Design and Print
MONDAY 29TH APRIL / FREE WORD 719
gairrhydd CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY
Student makes court history Dominic O’Neill reports A CARDIFF University student made history last week when he defended himself in a court case from a phone box on Park Place. It is the first time a court has ever heard evidence from a public telephone box in over a thousand years of British legal history, and the phone boxes in question where none other than those on the crossroads by the Arts and Social Studies library. Richard Jobling, who is training to be a barrister at Cardiff’s law school, was victorious in a case brought against him by a professional firm of solicitors. Speaking to Gair Rhydd, he said, “It was certainly really bizarre talking to the judge from a phone box as the traffic went by. All my fellow students think it’s really funny. “It was great to win, especially against a firm of solicitors. I was nervous about having to pay them money if I lost. Now my beer budget is safe until the end of the course!” Mr Jobling, 33, of close to Colum Road, was being sued by Mills and Reeves solicitors of Cambridge. They said he owed them £175 of
photocopying costs from when Mr Jobling was studying for his first degree at Anglia Polytechnic in Chelmsford. But District Judge Blomfeld, decided that they would proceed with the case using a telephone so that Mr Jobling would not have to travel the 160 mile trip to Cambridge County Court. “I was concerned that it would take too much time up as I was trying to concentrate on my assessments,” he said. “I don’t have a landline and my mobile phone signal is too unreliable, so we had to use a public phone.” The legal whizz-kid won the case in under ten minutes after the Cambridge solicitors backed down when he brought up a technical argument focusing on the size of the case. It is not the first time Mr Jobling has defended himself in court, despite having over a year to go before he is fully qualified as a barrister – he won a case against a
Richard Jobling and the famous phonebox Chelmsford firm of solicitors last year in a dispute with his landlord.
“It was certainly bizarre to be talking to a judge from a phone box as the traffic went by. All my friends think it’s really funny”
Mr Jobling continued, “I was a bit keyed up before the case as I was waiting for the judge to ring up. But after I got going it was fine and before I knew it was all over. “I had trouble hearing the other side, as the phones there aren’t very loud.” “The judge said they would have to speak up and after that
Wheatus in after Atomic kittens drop the Ball Lydia Kirby reports UNION EXECUTIVES breathed a sigh of relief when pop band Wheatus agreed to play at the Summer Ball following the cancellation of Atomic Kitten. The female trio had arranged to headline the summer event earlier this year but pulled out when lead singer Natasha Hamilton experienced problems with her pregnancy and was
advised by her doctor to cancel the gig. Cardiff Union’s entertainments department were notified of the cancellation just one day after American teenage dirtbags, Wheatus, had confirmed they would return to Cardiff for the Summer Ball this June. “We always put our tickets out earlier than other universities because this is what students ask for, so we
can’t always guarantee the line-up,” a spokesperson for the Union said. “We were a bit anxious when one of the Atomic Kitten girls fell pregnant but, up until just recently, were reassured by their agents that they would still playing.” The entertainments department are now searching for a third act to join Wheatus and Trevor Nelson. Finance and Commercial
Services Officer, Alex Molokwu, who saw Wheatus play at Cardiff Union last November, is confident that the band will prove very popular with students. He said, “The Wheatus gig was sold out in November and the band were absolutely brilliant. He added, ‘This year we worked very hard to secure three big acts for Cardiff students”.
PHOTO: ROBIN JACKSON
it was fine. I was concentrating so much on what I was doing I didn’t really notice all the traffic on the road.” Taking witness statements over the phone and holding court hearings using teleconferencing is a relatively new practice. A spokesman for the Law Society said, “There is a new
initiative to use telephones for civil cases. It’s a lot more efficient than having to travel for miles just to give ten minutes of evidence.” But both the Lord Chancellor’s office and the Law Society say this is the first time they have heard of a statement that has being given from a public telephone.
“Form and fitness permitting, if I get selected, it will be a very proud day for me if I could pull the Welsh jersey on and stick it up the English.” SPORT GET PATRIOTIC WITH ROBERT CROFT, PAGE 39 News p1–4 ● Letters p7 ● GRiP p11 TV listings p23 ● Features p31 ● Sport p37
News 2
IN BRIEF Info Services extend hours THE OPENING hours of University resource centres will be extended during the examination period as follows. Four 24/7 computer rooms are available in the Trevithick resource centre and the Science resource centre. Sunday opening hours in the Arts and Social Studies Resource Centre will be 10am to 5pm from May 5th until June 9th. Colum Drive computer and study rooms opening hours are extended to 11.45pm weekdays and 9.45pm weekends. The science resource centre will open from 12noon till 5pm on Sundays from May 12th until May 26th. The Trevithick resource centre will be open from 12noon till 8pm on Sundays from 5th May until 26th May.
Gair Rhydd MONDAY 29TH APRIL 2002
Students willing to sell bodies for cash Dominic O’Neill reports A NEW survey has shown that student debt is so bad, many people at university would sell body parts for some extra cash. Students’ little fingers, big toes, kidneys, sperm and ovarian eggs are all for sale according to the findings of hotrecruit.com. Out of nearly one thousand students questioned at universities nation-wide, 26 per cent said they would flog one of their kidneys on the black market for the chance
“21 per cent of students would Football Fever happily have one FOOTBALL FEVER is to cost British firms £142m during the of their toes cut World Cup Finals as 1.4 million men plan to take the day off to off for £2,000” watch On-line recruitment firm Workthing.com have also estimated that around 2% of female workers are planning to pull a sicky when the tournament kicks-off in May. Employees are not the only ones to suffer due to the timing of this year’s World Cup. Last week, ‘Gair Rhydd’ reported on the plight of students exams clashing with vital England games.
Sun Block AN INTERNET survey has revealed that sunny weather has a direct impact on people’s abilty to remember facts and figures. The results of the study suggest that such a phenomenon may play some part in an individual’s abilty to perform in examinations and remember even simple things such as a shopping list. A spokesperson said “Although the effects are very small, sometimes people exposed to sunlight would mess up simple tasks like making pizza orders for example”.
Gair Rhydd ADDRESS University Union Park Place Cardiff CF10 3QN
to get their debt cleaned-up with the £13,000 price tag. The survey comes just as the Natwest Money Matters survey revealed how most students leave university over £10,000 in debt, while many will still be paying student loans back in their forties. With more than 40 per cent of students finding debt a “major worry”, a further 21 per cent told hotrecruit.com they would happily have one of their toes chopped off and sewn back on for a mere £2,000. More than 30 per cent of the male students questioned admitted they would donate sperm 15 times a week if they could get their hands on the £18 for each usable sample. A similar percentage of female students revealed they were so desperate they would be willing to sell some of their ovarian eggs for cash.
Samantha Matthews reports
CARDIFF UNIVERSITY scientists have made a breakthrough that goes some way to proving life exists in space. Professor Chandra Wickramasinghe of Cardiff University’s Astrobiology Department has for years believed that terrestrial life originally came from space, carried to earth by comets, a theory known as panspermia. Professor Wickramasinghe’s recent studies have discovered living bacteria above the earth’s troposphere, a layer of atmospheric air extending 7 miles upwards from the earth’s surface. Samples of bacteria taken from a height of 41 kilometers PHOTO: ROBIN JACKSON above the earth’s surface were Desperate students are seduced by the gruesome offer found to have microbes present by a research team from Cardiff Cardiff medical student that away to get out of debt University. This bacterium was Kate Macintosh said, “Your shows just how bad the situa- then cultured in Sheffield body is your most important tion is. I hope someone in the University. asset you have. The fact that government finds out about The studies results have students are willing to throw this.” added weight to Professor Wickramasinghe’s Panspermia theory, which he created with world famous astronomer Sir Fred Hoyle. Professor Wickramsinghe said, “The bacteria’s properties are such that they are likely to their course.” survive in space, and when they finance this summer. In response to the survey, come to earth we can grow They have already ruled out a system of grants funded Owain James, NUS president them. These are not amazing or by a graduate tax, and may said, “Although shocking, freakish organisms, they are even take the drastic measure these figures do not come as earth-like organisms.” When the scientific of imposing market interest a surprise. The government badly fails students as yet community has had time to rates on student loans. Ann Marie Blake, Head of another survey now has examine the results, Cardiff University, famous for it’s Student banking at NatWest proven.” Cardiff student, Ian Jones research, may be propelled into commented, “For the majority, university is still who will be graduating this scientific history. Not only could seen as a worthwhile summer, said, “I’m really this evidence explain how life investment and nine out of worried about graduating may have been carried to earth 10 graduates in this year’s with such huge debts. It’s by comets billions of years ago, survey are adamant that debt not a good way to start a but could prove that may indeed exist in space. did not put them off finishing career”.
Graduate debt triples Peter Wearn reports NEW GRADUATES are starting their careers crippled by debt, new research reveals. The poll by NatWest bank revealed that the graduates of 2002 have an average debt of £10,000, triple that of 1999. Graduates are likely to begin their working lives with debt repayments of £200 a month and some are expected to take as long as ten years to clear their debts. This radical increase in the scale of debts
is thought to be a result of those graduating this year being the first to have faced tuition fees throughout their course and not had any access to government grants. Unsuprisingly the majority of the 2000 students surveyed opposed tuition fees, although there was an even split between those wanting the return of grants and those wishing to retain the student loan system. The government expects to complete a review of student
Cinema causes a Ster in the Plaza Mark Cobley reports CARDIFF’S FLAGSHIP ‘Millennium Plaza’ development has been hit by a bitter contractual dispute that is keeping the doors of the new 14-screen multiplex cinema firmly closed. The cinema was due to open ten months ago, to provide the centrepiece of the
£50 million Millennium Plaza development located near to Central Station and the Millennium Stadium. However, the firm operating the cinema, Ster Century, refuse to open until the Plaza’s developers fill up the remaining vacant spaces in the building. This is despite other businesses in the area running
EDITORIAL 02920 781434/436 ADVERTISING 02920 781416 EMAIL SSUGR1@cf.ac.uk VISITORS Find us on the 4th floor of the Students Union
Cardiff prof seeks life in space
The multi-million pound cinema lies empty
very successfully. A spokesman for the Millennium Plaza said, “The remaining vacant spaces are on the ground floor level, and we’re in negotiations with several firms to fill them with restaurants and a bar.
“We hope to be able to finalise the deals within the next five or six weeks, and hopefully at that point, Ster Century will open the cinema.” Jo Murphy, European Marketing Manager for Ster
Century said “Our position has not changed, we will open up when the contractual obligation is fulfilled. She continued, “When we do open, we hope to provide a top-class service to students as well as everyone else.”
Gair Rhydd MONDAY 29TH APRIL 2002
Uni student is a Capitol girl Anna Hodgekiss reports
Kathryn poses as the ‘Face of the Capitol centre’
CARDIFF UNIVERSITY student Kathryn Starke has won a competition to become the face of one of the city’s most popular shopping outlets. As the new face of Cardiff’s Capitol Centre, Kathryn fought off competition from hundreds of hopefuls to appear in promotional and advertising campaigns. Kathryn took top honours in the competition launched in January 2001 to find a male or female to represent the Capitol Centre. In addition to many photo shoots and a front-page
WITH THE smell of fresh paint in the air, and builders making a hasty exit, the newest bar in Student Ville opened it’s doors last Thursday night. A stones throw from the Students Union building, The Social on Salisbury Road is seen as the latest threat to the finances of the Union. Alex Molokwu, Finance and Commercial Services Officer said, "The competition from bars in the area is beginning to seriously limit the money we have available to spend on Union services. Obviously another bar opening is not a going to help, but I think we still have plenty to offer students at the various Union venues.” The Social is the second
Cardiff based bar to be opened by the owner of Cuba! in the city centre, Dave Williams. Mr Williams said The Social has been aimed largely at students, as the bar is located in the middle of the biggest student population in Cardiff. The slick interior with tables and sofa seating, makes it an ideal venue for the style conscious student. The bar looks very similar to its near neighbour, The End. However, Mr Williams insisted that it is very different. "We’re not going for the same feel as The End. We won’t have live DJ’s and loud music all night, and our eating concept sets us apart from them". Half of the building is taken up by a casual pizzeria, with an open-plan kitchen at the
far end. Cosy booths line the walls and large ten seater tables fill the interior. Owner Dave Williams said "With the pizzas we’re going for the high end quality wise, but the low end price wise". Further to this Mr Williams told gair rhydd that tie-ins with Cuba! will be started in the near future with free entry to the club when you buy a drink in The Social and possibly a free mini-bus between the two venues. Good news for the weary feet of Cathays residents. Competition in the area is already hot, with several bars and the Union in close proximity. However Alex Moloku is confident the Union will be able to keep ahead of the bars. He said “The low prices we charge for drinks in the Union
Queen Street set for re-vamp Mark Cobley reports
Queens St is set for a face lift
CARDIFF’S MAIN shopping plaza is to get a major revamp under plans announced by Cardiff County Council. As well as much-needed repairs, Queens Street will have new facilities installed and the ‘look’ of the street improved. One of the most common complaints of Cardiff residents will be addressed, as the scores of uneven and broken paving slabs are replaced in the next few months. A spokesman for the Council told gair rhydd, “In
Animal rights protest disrupts open day
Following her rapid rise to fame, Kathryn has received recognition for her striking looks far beyond Cardiff. She was recently rated Mat Croft reports number 20 in the ‘Wales on Sunday’s Top 50 Welsh Batchelorettes’ poll. Centre manager Jeff Wilson was delighted with the competition winner saying, “Kathryn has something unique and we are very much looking forward to working with her on the numerous campaigns we’ll be doing this year”. Kathryn’s next appearance as the face of the shopping centre in the Capitol’s autumn magazine. ANIMAL RIGHTS campaigners from all over South Wales congregated in Cardiff last Tuesday for the Welsh Day for Laboratory Animals. South Wales Animal Protection (SWAP) were also taking part in the campaign, to protest against Cardiff University’s Pharmacy department’s use of guinea pigs. They claim that the guinea pigs are supplied by breeders who ignore RSPCA guidelines by keeping the animals in should be enough to keep us the city, you still can’t beat the cramped and unsuitable an attractive option to students. Union for a really good night conditions. The breeders, at Despite a lot of good venues in out.” Newchurch Farm in Staffordshire, also supply animals to Sheffield University and other research laboratories. The University has vigorously denied all accusations, referring the campaigners to the Home Office, although the campaigners feel that everyone is passing on the blame. “The Home Office won’t inspect the breeders, nor will the RSPCA,” said SWAP’s secretary and PR officer, Paul Jones. “All the information we have was leaked from people who’ve been there, and from a raid a few years ago.” The raid was carried out by Save the Newchurch Guinea The stylish interior of the new bar PHOTO: JONATHAN STEVEN Pigs, an Evesham-based campaign with links to SWAP. Tuesday’s demonstration, at the foot of the Student’s Union, featured intensive leafleting, an information desk and a 6 foot guinea-pig costume. Queen Street by some parts of the street some on The campaigners took of the slabs are approaching clipboard-carrying Council advantage of Tuesday also dangerous. They’re our top researchers anxious to hear being an open day for the their views. Models and plans University. priority.” Prospective ‘Islands’ are also to be will also be available in students and their parents created in the centre of the public libraries in the coming could be seen scratching their street, where there will be months. heads as they were shown an Deputy Mayor Christine unusual side of Cardiff seats, signs, telephone booths and bins, in the shade of Priday said, “We want to University life. some of the existing trees. accommodate all the activities While the demonstration Further plans include more of a top retail centre in a was not as large as SWAP had restrictions on traffic in the vibrant and festive setting, hoped, they are determined to while promoting the ‘Cardiff continue their efforts to area and improved lighting. Historic plaques are also image’ to emphasise it is not negotiate a compromise with planned to show where just like any other city.” the University. A SWAP The plans to redevelop the campaigner said, “They won’t important events occurred centre represent another part stop testing on animals, but years ago. Traders and the public are of Cardiff’s effort to be we just want them to get out to be consulted, and students named European city of of the seedy, cruel end of the may find themselves accosted culture for 2008. business”. appearance in the centre’s ‘Summer 2002’ magazine, Kathryn also took home a £500 cash prize. Kathryn, a 20-year old Economics and Management student from Carmarthen said, “I was hesitant about entering in the first place so winning was a huge surprise.” She continued, “It was great being pampered by top stylists from Vidal Sassoon and MAC but I got extremely cold modelling summer clothes during March. I’ve spent most of the money already on clothes and unfortunately some on my now ex-boyfriend”.
New bar a threat to Students’ Union Jonathan Steven reports
News 3
News 4
Gair Rhydd MONDAY 29th APRIL 2002
Sven caught in fair tackle
The Week In Print
French voters put Le Pen to paper Mark Cobley reports THEY ARE calling it the most shocking and worrying result in European politics in the last twenty years. Last week the controversial and outspoken leader of the French National Front, Jean-Marie Le Pen, came second in the country’s first-round Presidential elections, sending shockwaves across the continent. Voter apathy is being blamed for the rise of Le Pen, who holds questionable views on immigrants and who once famously described the Holocaust as a “detail of history”. He achieved roughly 17 per cent of the vote as opposed to about 20 per cent for the conservative candidate Jacques Chirac and 16.5 per cent for the Socialist Lionel Jospin, in an election where one third of voters stayed home and almost half
of the rest voted for minority candidates. M. Chirac, of the conservative RPR party, is now virtually certain to win the Presidency overall with a majority of up to 80 per cent. However, Le Pen is describing the result as a ‘great flash of lucidity for the French people” and a “rejection of those who have governed them so inefficiently”. The British National Party, the UK’s major far-right group, has been buoyed by the French NF’s success and is hoping to capitalise on this in local elections in May. “I’m sure the shockwaves of the French elections will have an impact here,” said Simon Bennett, a BNP candidate in Burnley. Tony Blair has described Le Pen as racist and repellent, and warned people against voting for the far right. “There is a danger that
Dan Keel reports
The scene of the crash
“The BNP is hoping to capitalise on the French results” people will think politicians are not taking real social problems seriously,” said the Prime Minister. “Then they do get beguiled by simplistic and usually false solutions from the far right. ” French politicians from both left and right are now
Baftas reward much loved actor Lydia Kirby reports JOHN THAW, best remembered for his portrayal of Inspector Morse, was posthumously awarded a top award at last week’s Baftas. Sheila Hancock, Thaw’s widow, collected the Lew Grade audience award on behalf of her husband who died from cancer two months ago. Fighting back the tears, Hancock received the award for her husband’s part in the ITV1 show, Buried Drama, which was voted for by readers of Radio Times. “I’ve been asked to thank you all on behalf of John. It is very fitting that the last award John will ever get, and he got a lot, should be one that is voted for by the audience,” she said. Hancock said she had attended the ceremony because Thaw would have been angry if she had stayed away, but admitted she found it too upsetting to watch any of the clips of her husband. Typically the BBC carried away the most awards with BBC2 winning seven awards and BBC1 collecting just three. ITV won six and Channel
John Thaw was loved by his audience and colleagues 4, which dominated the awards last year, collected just four. Sky News was finally awarded its first Bafta for the coverage of events on September 11. Louis Theroux saw off competition from Jeremy Paxman, Michael Parkinson and Simon Schama to win best presenter and Graham Norton picked up the award for best entertainment performance. The only surprise of the event was the nomination of
Channel’s 4 controversial satire on media coverage of paedophilia, Brass Eye, which was nominated for best comedy programme and the innovation award despite receiving almost 1,000 complaints. The programme failed to win in either category to the relief of host, Chris Tarrant. Speaking before the event Tarrant said, ‘If it wins there will be an outcry. For me and the whole audience, its unthinkable that it might win”.
discussing how to halt Le Pen’s rise. M. Chirac has already refused to meet or debate with Le Pen, saying, “faced with intolerance and hatred, no debate is possible”. Leading Socialists have signalled that they will be urging their supporters to vote Chirac on May 5, no matter how difficult that might be. Dominique StraussKahn, one of M. Jospin’s closest allies, said that “Le Pen’s score, for the honour of France, must be as low as possible”.
THE MEDIA frenzy surrounding Sven Goran Erikkson reached fever pitch as news broke last week of his affair with TV presenter Ulrika Johnson. In fact we have been treated to some of the most ridiculous but admittedly amusing tabloid coverage for quite some time, with innuendoes and puns in plentiful supply. Cartoon strips with Ulrika complimenting the England coach’s ‘fair tackle’ and ‘ball control’ are obvious gags. But when The Sun shows Sven asking Ulrika if she knows his assistant, Tord Grip, and she replies, ‘No but I’m willing to try anything,’ you know the red-tops are enjoying a field day after months of reporting on international crises. The affair ended spectacularly last Thursday with Ulrika reportedly slapping the English coach. But could the affair be damaging to England’s World Cup hopes? At a glance the answer appears to be ‘no.’ In typically calm fashion
Erikkson brushed aside journalists at a recent press conference and promised not to buckle under the intense media pressure unlike many of his predecessors. As for questions suggesting he could lose the respect of his players, such a conquest is more likely to have elevated the cool Swede’s status in the dressing room. The FA have given him their full backing meaning all is well as long as he continues to tolerate the daily scrum to his car and more importantly guides England through a successful World Cup campaign.
Sven the heartthrob
Gair Rhydd and Xpress Radio Media Awards 2002
s e k a t t i t a h w t o g u o y ? g Have i b t i n i w o t Sponsored by Best News Reporter Best Sport Reporter Best Interview Best Designer Best Critic Best Photographer Best Feature Writer Editor’s Award for Dedication
Best Male Presenter Best Female Presenter Best Newcomer Best Specialist Show Best Feature Best News Coverage Station Manager’s Award Station Manager’s Award for Dedication
Friday 3rd May
GREAT HALL 7.30PM – 11PM Tickets only £4 or £5 with entry to Lashtastic includes wine and buffet
SMART DRESS
TICKETS ON SALE NOW FROM THE BOX OFFICE – PLEASE BUY EARLY
6● Classifieds
gairrhydd, Monday 22 April 2002
Classified Adve r tising ●
Only 10 pence per word
●
20 pence per CAPITALISED word
●
25 pence per bold word
●
30 pence per BOLD CAPITALISED word
●
£1.00 additional charge for a boxed advertisement
●
£2.00 additional charge for photo (box included free of charge)
MESSAGE
Please print your Message in the box below. One word in each box. Capitalise words you want in CAPITALS. Underline words you want in bold.
TICK BOX IF BOX REQUIRED: TICK BOX IF PHOTOGRAPH REQUIRED: FOR INSERTION IN THE FOLLOWING ISSUE(S): CONTACT ADDRESS/TELEPHONE: TOTAL COST: Please circle the category you require: Personal; Services; Employment; For Sale; Wanted; Accommodation; Societies; Miscellaneous Please complete this form and return it to: Gair Rhydd, Cardiff University Students’ Union, Park Place, Cardiff CF10 3QN. All cheques should be made payable to Cardiff Union Services Ltd.
NON-SABBATICAL OFFICERS SHAG OFFICE HOURS: Tuesday 3-5pm and Friday 12-2pm W E L S H A F FA I R S O F F I C E R / SWYDDOG MATERION CYMRAEG: Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons 2-5pm. Contact Cerith Spooner on SpoonerC1@Cardiff.ac.uk I N T E R N AT I O N A L S T U D E N T S ’ OFFICER : Wednesday afternoons. Contact Minelle Gholami on GholamiM1@Cardiff.ac.uk STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFFICER: Monday 2-4pm. Contact Natasha Hirst on HirstN2@Cardiff.ac.uk WOMEN’S OFFICER: Monday and Wednesday afternoons. Contact Sally Cameron Griffiths on Cameron-Griffiths @Cardiff.ac.uk. LGB OFFICER: Wednesday afternoons 25pm, Wednesday afternoons. Contact James Knight on KnightJ2@Cardiff.ac.uk. BLACK AND ETHNIC AFFAIRS OFFICER: Contact Prab Ramkumar on RamkumarP1@Cardiff.ac.uk. MATURE STUDENTS OFFICER:Wednesdays 10aam-1pm in the TV lounge on the 3rd Floor. Contact Gareth Hiscocks on HiscocksG@Cardiff.ac.uk. XPRESS STATION MANAGER: Contact Emma Gait-Carr on StationManager@Xpressradio.co.uk.
All officers (except Xpress Station Manager) can be contacted on the third floor of the Students’ Union.
PERSONAL Every night between 8pm and 8am nightline is just a local telephone call or a short walk away. Here to listen. Here for you. Tel: 2038 2141 Drop-in: 148 Column Rd. Want to talk about sexuality? Or do you want information about lesbian, gay or bisexual issues? No hassle, no pressure, just a friendly ear. Ring the LGB PHONELINE on 029 2039 8903, Monday, 7.00pm-9.00pm
ACCOMMODATION FOR RENT: 19 Lisvane Street, 5 beds, all new furniture, DG, GCH, washer dryer, 2 fridges, chest freezer, TV, microwave, patio, BBQ, great location. Call Kathryn on 02920 668802. One room to rent in a really nice, fully furnished 4 bedroom house on Merthyr Street, Cathays. Tel 07944 893728. ONE ROOM AVAILABLE to share with other students on 159 Mackintosh Place, 10 minute walk from University, all mod cons. £195 p/m. Call 029 20 630103/
07714 202683. FOR RENT: 92 Maindy Road, 3 mins from Woody, 4 beds, fully furnished, GSH, Washing Machine, Microwave, BBQ, conservatory, garden, lane access, water paid. £185pppcm. Call Jill on 07940 435457.
MISCELLANEOUS QUALITY WASHING PRODUCTS AT GREAT PRICES! Do you use washing powder tablets or liquid? Are you paying too much for them? If so then maybe we can save you money! £10 for 10kg (over 125 washes) of powder non-biological or biological. £25 for 360 tablets/ £14 for 180 tablets or 50p for a tube of six tablets. £10 for five litres of concentrated liquid (only 80 ml needed per wash). Also available if you have a dishwasher: £14 for 144 tablets. Contact 01633 601945/ 07812 646333 or baileypeter83@hotmail.com for details.
Cardiff University Students’ Union does not endorse or accept liability for any product/service advertised within this publication.
DON’T FORGET: The Classifieds page is the best way to sell stuff, ask for stuff, sort out a house, stitch up a mate with ‘an hilarious’ birthday photo or to make an announcement to the general populous. Use the form up there. Go on!
ABSOLUT VODKA STRAIGHT FROM THE FREEZER
BLUE / CITRON / PEPPAR / KURANT / MANDRIN PLUS
(if you dare)
“BLOODY”
ONLY AVAILABLE FROM THE RED BULL BAR
ALL @ £1.50
gairrhydd, Monday 29th April 2002
Letter of the Week The author of this week’s Letter of the Week wins a a brand new combine-harvester Dear Gair Rhydd, The AGM. I have just one thing to say to everyone: STOP FUCKING MOANING. I am fed up to the back teeth of students taking to their soap boxes, complaining about the executive and SUC and then refusing to do anything to change things. Was it really such a big thing to ask that societies and clubs send representatives to the AGM? Oh you poor things. You only get to spend thousands of pounds of Union money every year on your hobbies, and they ask for a whole hour of your time. Fucking hell they really are the devil incarnate aren't they? And now all you Toss Fuckling Wank Pots have the bloody audacity to suggest that you would have turned up anyway if only the Union had advertised it more and made more in depth cases for the motions. BOLLOCKS. You would have stayed at home on your fat lazy arses and watched Eastenders. If you want to complain then I simply ask one thing, that you turned up to the AGM because you wanted to, not because you thought if you didn't you would have less money to spend in your eat my own weight in pizza society. Or you turned up to last years AGM and were relatively sober by the time it was cancelled. Otherwise FUCK OFF. You have no right to complain. You are nothing more than a lazy, bottom feeding scum suckers. You don't give a shit about the Union, and all you want is cheap beer. The world doesn't owe you a living and shock horror neither does the fucking Students' Union. So go drink some more cheap beer in the Union and moan about how crap the executive are, what a pig's ear next years lot will make of it, and how much better you could do. Safe in the knowledge that you are too much of a fucking coward to try proving it. And then write a letter to Gair Rhydd under a pseudonym moaning about how I'm a bitter twisted bitch. And you know what? I won't give a shit. Me (and yes its a pseudonym - guess what? I'm fucking hypocritical) (PS Feel free to edit this letter how you like – just don't let me sound any less bitter than I am). Lettersdesk says: No, no, no. I’m not going to edit your letter at all. I usually get into trouble with someone or other when I do anyway. Anyway, this is the sort of emotionally charged response that has been sadly lacking from our readers in recent times and your courage and energy is an inspiration to us all. Whoever you are.
NUS Nasty Dear Gair Rhydd, I have recently returned from my trip to Blackpool as a delegate for Cardiff University at the NUS national conference. It's hard to
convey the surreal and otherworldly nature of this shambolic event: e.g. Zionist conspiracy theories; extreme political correctness; scores of revolutionary types occupying the stage; votes that take an hour to count…
All that needs to be said is that Cardiff students need to start thinking about our membership of this dubious organisation, and whether like other successful Students Unions, we might have a future outside of it. Until a significant S.U. such as Cardiff leaves, I'm not convinced that NUS will ever wake up and stop being such a dinosaur. What we really need is for our S.U. to allow an independent respectable financial group to come and do a cost-benefit analysis of our membership of NUS. I really struggle to believe that the student discounts we get and few other supposed benefits (which we could provide for ourselves) could more than outweigh the huge affiliation fee we pay to remain members... Yours, Hywel Carr 2nd year politics
Chocolate Animals Dear Gair Rhydd, There are two issues I wish to raise, both concerned with misguided causes that have been much in evidence recently. First, no doubt many of your readers will have been aware of the animal rights protest that took place outside the Students’ Union on Tuesday 23rd April. And needless to say some will have been unwittingly duped/ harassed into signing some form of petition from them. The ignorance of the people who carry out this sort of protest defies belief! The testing of pharmaceuticals on living tissue is a necessity in medical research, otherwise vital treatments would become unavailable and human standards of living would be seriously compromised. Much of the research in this area is of value to veterinary science as well, without which many more animals would suffer needlessly. There is a myth that is perpetrated amongst animal rights protesters that the animals they test on suffer greatly
in the name of science. Yet in this country the animals are generally treated well, so the protesters have to resort to taking their evidence for this alleged cruelty from institutions in other countries where controls are not as tight. My second point concerns your esteemed columnist, the Reverend Nick Charles (2nd year Physiology). Why does he feel the need to give voice to a lost cause normally supported only by weak minded fools. All investigations against Nestle were dropped years ago. In his letter the Reverend unwittingly admits that a ban would be futile, a short trip to a corner shop outside of the Union would provide us with all our Nestle needs. So why inconvenience people when it makes little difference to Nestle whether we buy their products inside the Union or out, so long as we buy them. I hope the Reverend sees the error of his ways soon, else some may come to question the true value of his Faith. Yours, Andrew P. Murphy (1st year Biochemistry)
Help Needed Dear Gair Rhydd, I was overjoyed to read Carlos’ letter (MK Madness, GR 716) about his Mario Kart addiction and your subsequent reply. As an exfellow sufferer myself (I also underwent complex brain surgery to cure my Street Fighter 2 addiction) I believe that the university should do more to combat the problem. Maybe the Union could organise a march to demand free treatment on the NHS, or at least take legal action against Nintendo, as I am sure they knew full well what they were doing when they unleashed the SNES. I too nearly failed a year because of this widespread problem and think that the Union needs to wise up on the dangers of NECAS (Naff Eighties Console Addiction Syndrome). Yours, King Koopa
Letters ● 7 Lettersdesk says: I too have witnessed the destructive capabilities of games consoles. I am currently unfortunate enough to share my life with three students who have all, at one time or another, had to retake a year as a direct result of ‘NECAS’. This phenomenon must be stopped. But to compare the addictiveness of Streetfighter 2 to that of the demon that is Mario Kart is like comparing a sherbet dip to crack cocaine.
Culture vs. Garbage Dear Gair Rhydd, Cardiff is running for the European Cultural Capital in 2008. The word culture has many meanings and recycling could be considered one of these. I would thus like to voice my concerns about the lack of recycling facilities in Cardiff. Being from Spain and having lived in other countries and places I can only say that the lack of facilities in Cardiff is appaling. I would like also to contribute in raising the awareness of green issues amongst Cardiff students. The UK has one of the world’s leading economies, so how is it possible that environmental awareness is so underdeveloped here? Lasting development and investment in the future seem foreign concepts for people here. The entire rubbish collection system makes the city a paradise for rats and mice. More to the point, the recycling facilities need urgent and fundamental improvements. If such facilities do in fact exist, then this letter just goes to show how inadequate they are. Having lived here for a year and a half I haven’t come across any yet. Yours sincerely, Nacho and the Flaxland Gang of 3 Lettersdesk says: Good point, your social awareness does you great credit, sir, although there in fact recycling facilities at back of this very building, the Students’ Union.
Please send your letters in to us at Gair Rhydd, Students’ Union, Park Place, CF10 3QN or preferably e-mail SSUGR1@CARDIFF.AC.UK. Gair Rhydd will attempt to print any letter sent in, but apologises for those that do not make it in due to space restrictions. The views expressed in these letters are usually not those of the newspaper or the editor.
Crossword Yes, yes, back again. Fill in dem words in da li’l boxes. If you want. Or you could just wipe your ass with it. Not like I care. ACROSS: 1. Excessively emotional (11) 9. Fortunate (5) 10. American mammal with a black ringed tail (7) 11. Square cap worn by a priest (7) 12. Condensed compound of alcohol and acid (5) 13. Guide, navigate (5) 15. Thick soup (5) 20. Ship’s lowest deck (5) 22. Robot with human features (7) 24. By means of (7) 25. Loop for hanging (5) 26. Substance used after shampoo (11) DOWN: 2. Selected passage (7) 3. Lovers’ meeting (5) 4. Immense number (6)
5. Form of energy (7) 6. Actively in being (5) 7. Land attached to a church (5) 8. Catch in a trap (5) 14. Talk informatively (7) 16. Couple (6) 17. One’s earlier days (5) 18. Prestige (6) 19. Snake, also known as the viper (5) 21. Broad and slow, musically (5) 23. Australian wild dog (5) Get your answers to the gair rhydd office before Wednesday and the winner will be announced in the next issue. 717’s winner was Lydia Dekoun. Come up to the office to collect your prize and cover yourself in glory. And curry. 717’s solution: ACROSS: 1.Rigmarole; 8.Saga; 9.Storeroom; 10.Wren; 13.Olden; 16.Scuff; 17.Until; 18.Fetid; 19.Arena; 20.Gilts; 21.Large; 24.Army; 27.Abominate; 28.Oust; 29.Stitching. DOWN: 2.Into; 3.Mare; 4.Rural; 5.Loose; 6. Fairytale; 7.Dauntless; 11. Escalator; 12. Outermost; 13.Offal; 14.Deter; 15.Nudge; 22.Abbot; 23.Gamut; 25.Ankh; 26.Stun.
Name:_______________________ Email:________________________ If I was stuck in a lift with Kylie I would. . ._______________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
This week’s winner wins a meal for two at Chillies Restaurant and Takeaway
gairrhydd, Monday 29 April 2002
Comment ● 08
Comment Comment
In issue 717 (March 18th 2002), Gair Rhydd reported on the Annual General Meeting of Cardiff Students’ Union, which was fully attended for the first time in 16 years. During the meeting students voted to put Nestle products back on sale in the Union and reduce the
quoracy of the meeting from 5% of the student population to just 2%. The meeting was deemed a success by the Union’s executive team, however questions were raised by the students in attendance regarding the way in which students were forced to attend and how members of
the audience were not given the chance to speak on any of the motions. Here are some of the letters that Gair Rhydd has received from disgruntled students, along with the official Union reply from the officer in charge of organising the event Societies and Union Secretary James Sommerville
The case for Dear all, This letter is written as a general response to all queries and complaints regarding the Annual General Meeting of the Union held on Monday 11th March. As Union secretary I was responsible for calling it and ensuring the attendance of members. The night’s format and agenda were proposed by me in consultation with others and passed by the Union Council, so I am responsible for answering any queries or complaints. First I would like to thank everyone who came for helping us achieve quoracy for essentially the first time ever. I’d like to apologise for those who came because we threatened clubs and societies. I’d also like to apologise to those who came and were told they did not have to be there as we had done so amazingly well in getting the numbers. Hopefully future AGMs will be entirely voluntary affairs. Second, I would like to take the most common issues that have been raised about the AGM and briefly answer them. Why did you change the quoracy (percentage of members required)? The quoracy issue has been presented to many previous AGMs and has been well debated by the executive and Students Union Council. It gives future executives a bit of leeway in presenting important motions to the membership. How annoyed would everyone have been if we’d only had 700 people and couldn’t pass any business? Why was it not publicised? It was – it achieved a front-page slot in Gair Rhydd a week before and a full introduction on the day. Posters were also up across campus. I would certainly like to have publicised it more, but there a many Union events and initiatives that require our time and resources, so we did the best we could. What happened to debate? Beforehand we felt that there would not be sufficient time for a full debate, and to hear everyone who wanted to speak. While I defend that decision, I will recommend that next year comments are definitely allowed from the floor for a brief period e.g. 30 seconds per person. I think the Chair of the AGM must be as strong as Tom McGarry was, as there is always the
danger that we would get bogged down in debate and lose attendees. However, it’s fair to say that this was the most unsuccessful part of our running of the event. You rigged the Nestle arguments/ it wasn’t fair on the speaker for the ban There was no rigging and the speakers actually prepared their arguments in consultation because they wanted to get a balanced view across in the small amount of time they had. Remember, the SUC decision was the revoking of an old motion, not the passing of a new one. The facts were plainly stated by both sides and there was no dispute over them. I’d like to think that Cardiff students are intelligent and able to think for themselves. It’s worth noting that many of the executive, including myself, support the ban, and were surprised at the result – but that’s democracy for you. Wasn’t the voting system unfair? No, it wasn’t quick or perfect, but it was good enough. A block system had been pre-determined but was difficult to put into practice because of the sheer numbers of people there. As noone there had ever done anything like that before we had no experience to draw on. A paper ballot would be more accurate, but after consultation we felt that people would prefer to discover the answer to their decisions there and then. The majority of votes required (75% for the Director motion, 66% for the AGM quoracy motion, and a simple majority for the revoking of the Nestle ban) were provisionally confirmed by several experienced vote counters within seconds of people raising their hands. The actual numbers recorded may be slightly out because some people voted twice, etc, but it was the best we could do. There can be NO dispute that three democratic decisions were made, but the system will be refined for next year. Why was there alcohol at the event? There was actually a mistake in this, as the bar was meant to be open only so that people could get their free bottle (VK or water), and not for the whole event. We were mindful of last year’s event where the meeting
ABOVE: President Tom McGarry counts the votes at the AGM LEFT: Societies and Union Secretary James Sommerville
revoking it and a cheer was raised when the ban fell. I know as many people who care about free choice as I do people who support the ban. It might be bad in some people’s eyes but that’s democracy.
was declared void because too many students were drunk. However, one free drink seems to have gone down very well. The free drink aspect is something of a tradition at previous (failed) AGMs and was one of the best thank-you gestures we could think of. Some, but not all, non-drinking groups were consulted and a separate meeting of the Islamic Society, amongst others, met to discuss the AGM’s issues. I will certainly recommend the bar be closed next year. How could you revoke the Nestle ban? Simply put – we didn’t, you did. There was a clear majority for
What are the effects of the removal of the Nestle ban? The effects of the removal of the ban would be as simple as stated on the AGM Motions document. The Union is now free, should it wish, to stock and use Nestle products – common examples being coffee, confectionery and breakfast cereal. Nestle can also attend the Companies Fayre as a graduate recruiter. You/ the AGM/ etc are a disgrace Well, sorry, but we’re just doing our jobs. Just how many people who have said this have run large scale successful meetings on a shoestring before? If you really think that you could do better, bearing in mind our relative inexperience and need to balance a large number of important Union commitments, then run for sabbatical office. Otherwise, live with it. And finally... There is always a benefit with hindsight, and I feel one can
only improve an event like this if one has already had it. I stand by everything we did and feel that nothing went wrong, was undemocratic or immoral. It wasn’t perfect, and we’re working on it to improve it. rather than just let it sit in the shadows for another 10 years. At the end of the day what was discussed and passed was very important, yet all the motions can be changed next year. The real lasting consequence of the AGM is this – hundreds of next year’s students will have direct experience of an AGM. Thousands more will know of its existence. The debate that has surrounded it has made people more concerned about being a part of their Union and getting their voice across. All of this will help increase student involvement and democracy in Cardiff over the coming years, and that can only be a good thing. Thank you for your time. If anyone has any further comments please e-mail them to me at sommervillej@cardiff.ac.uk – all constructive feedback is gratefully received. Yours sincerely, James Sommerville Societies and Union Secretary 2001-2002
NEWS
Gair Rhydd Monday 29 April 2002
Focus • 09
Non-Sabb
Word on the liberation campaigns
Working with disabilities T
RYING TO SET yourself up with a work placement, vacation or full time graduate job can be difficult enough for most students. However, students with disabilities or special needs can sometimes find this whole process much harder. The pressure of having to work longer and harder than your peers in order to reach your full potential may mean that you do not have enough time to get involved with extra curricular activities. Lacking those all important CV enhancers may reduce your confidence when applying for jobs. Students may worry about the advantages and disadvantages of whether or not to disclose a disability to a potential employer, for fear of discriminatory attitudes. You may also be unaware of the help that is available for you to put your disability in a positive light when applying for jobs.
There are a number of organisations that specialise in placing graduates and students with disabilities, with employers offering careers or placements. These focus on the applicants’ ability and skills, not their disability. They concentrate on encouraging employers to recognise a person as an individual rather than solely as a person with a disability, and can advise on adjustments to the workplace, support and grants and the Disability Discrimination Act. More importantly, employers are aided in understanding the real issues surrounding disability, helping to expel the myths and misconceptions that lead to discrimination and poor access. Employers who use the Employment Service’s ‘two ticks’ symbol in their corporate literature are publicly announcing their commitment to taking positive measures to attract disabled applicants. Organisations such as Workable aim to
facilitate the career development of disabled students and graduates, providing workshops and training as well as one to one discussions, helping with interview techniques, CV writing and with finding solutions to disability related barriers in the workplace.
Useful websites include:www.opportunities.org.uk
www.skill.org.uk www.crac.org.uk www.disabilityaction.org www.members.aol.com/workableuk You can contact Cardiff University Careers Service, Disabilities Advisor Richard Budd on BuddR@cf.ac.uk For more information please get in touch with Natasha Hirst on natashahirst@yahoo.com.
The case against Dear Gair Rhydd. While I agree with the methods used to achieve quoracy reduction and return the AGM to a viable tool of democracy in this apathetic age, I was saddened to see two other motions become sacrificial lambs for that cause and think the SUC should have made this year’s AGM a one-motion event under the circumstances. The tactics used to ensure quorum meant that the voters, forced to attend, were disinterested, bored and just wanted to get out of there fast. Most importantly, we had been given little information about the issues we were voting on, leading to essentially a blind and farcical vote that we didn’t know enough about to make an informed choice; our only education four minute pieces of persuasive rhetoric, and a very limited debate where debate was allowed at all. By trying to achieve too much in one go the AGM defeated it’s purpose and in the bid to strengthen student democracy, instead weakened it, forgetting
that democracy is more than just numbers. That the numbers who vote need to be informed, and in the environment of that evening, with repeated calls to hurry the meeting along to appease voters wanting to leave after being coerced into attendance, I don’t feel there was a genuine attempt at hearing enough about the other two motions to make the votes that resulted be seen as informed or democratic by any stretch of the imagination. Dan McKee First year Politics and Philosophy Dear Gair Rhydd Yesterday I went to my first AGM and was extremely disappointed by the whole event. The means with which students were coerced into attending this meeting was in my opinion not in line with any kind of democratic values and it was highly amusing how the President kept referring to the whole shamble as “real democracy”. Instead the existence of
societies was threatened if they did not send a representative, and a budget that would surely have been better spent on a wider campaign to raise awareness on the issues or the actual event, instead went towards appeasing the masses with free alcohol. How can SUC complain about the lack of interest when there is barely a two week campaign to inform people, and the only feature describing the issues appeared on the same day as the meeting. In my opinion this did not give people enough time to think about the motions. The posters in the Union designed to look like the Kit Kat logo almost made the whole thing funny, except for the fact that Nestle ban can be considered quite a serious thing. I personally feel that it was wrong to raise the ban on Nestle products and lower the quoracy and it is a shame that the SUC seems to think that there is no hope of ever lowering the amount of apathy in regards to these important issues. Sitting back and accepting this is lazy and as much time should be put
into raising awareness and involvement as into to getting free drinks. Neill Dear Gair Rhydd The Student Union’s AGM was a complete joke. I don’t think I am alone in thinking it was poorly organised and not thought through. Generally it didn’t reflect what a good Union Cardiff luckily has. I was there, sitting on the floor for almost two hours along with the hundreds of others, listening to a healthy debate mainly on ‘why there weren’t chairs?’ and, ‘how many can you fit in?’ To be honest, as the cramp set in, I cared less and less if the Nestle ban was lifted or if the votes were counted correctly, so long as I could get out of there. How could anyone be expected to sit and consider the motions? I don’t need to state the obvious conclusion; chairs were needed. Sipping my free drink while harried sabbaticals tried to count the votes, I wondered if people really would have preferred the
organisation spent on getting free bottles of sugary crap to have be put on ensuring the voting was quick and fair. I may be shouted down but wouldn’t a form handed-in as you left have been better? Actually, that’s right, we had a form to put our views on, but the only boxes were whether we liked the new Mexican coloured Taf. How important. To hear true debate of motions by the audience (mainly composed of people only there due to draconian rules..but that’s another story) drowned out by ‘I’m sorry we don’t have the time’, is depressing on its own but, when the vote counting took far more than the 4 minute time-slot which every speaker had drummed into them, makes it laughable. I understand that the AGM needs to change, that the organisation committee have other duties and are busy people, but when they force everyone to attend they have responsibility to ensure that it is worthwhile. I question if it was. A newly moaning student
GAMES ride the waves in Surfer’s Paradise
ARTS Welsh Independent Dance
FILM bring you an Oscar special
Fuck This Band
McLusky rock out at the Barfly Badly Drawn Boy • No Exit • The Cooper Temple Clause • The Inter net: A brave new world? Inside: Get There! The ultimate guide to Cardiff and beyond!
Contents
02. Get There
Newly interactive and more pointless than ever: it can only be Get There!
04. Books
Books guru D.C provides some insightful comments about some up-and-coming literary releases
05. Games
Games relive the magic of Tony Hawks with the homage to the skating genius Transworld Surf
06. Film
Film review the star studded occasion that was the Oscars, and give details of the latest Gair Rhydd Film Club movie
07. Arts
Arts preview the wide range of contemporary dance that’s coming out of Cardiff
08. Music
Music continue their round-up of the best singles and albums out at the moment, and see McLusky and Travis live
15. TV Guide Far funnier than it has any right to be- it’s the Gair Rhydd TV guide!
GRiP Editor Sarah Hodson GRiP Editor Mike Parsons and Jonathan Steven Arts Lizzie Brown and LaDonna Hall Books D.C. Gates Film Neil Blain Games Chris Faires Music Gemma Curtis, Andy Parsons, Gemma Jones and Jamie Grierson Get There Neil Krajewski TV Listings Nick McDonald, Alex Macpherson, and Steve Hurst GRiP needs your help! We are overworked and losing our minds. Visit our media penthouse on the 4th floor of the Union or • E-mail ssugr1@cardiff.ac.uk
02
Get There
et There enters the final straight. Anyone hoping for a final burst of energy should wait a few weeks though as, once again, G Get There remains the only page that looks the same every week but is in fact different! This week, we review absolutely nothing and interview no-one. It’s all about dates in out little world and we’re all the better for it. Remember, gang: Get Hip - Get There!
There’s no more time left to reminisce over holiday nostalgia. Trust in Get There to help you decide your future over the remaining weeks.
Union Monday 29/04
Fun Factory @ Solus 9pm-1am, free. Meet and re-greet session continues in traditional beginning of academic session style.
Tuesday 30/04
Candy @ Solus Postponed for this term, but set to return in September.
Wednesday 01/05 Jive Hive @ Solus 9pm-1am, £2.50. Possibly includes a debate on the future of Welsh rugby, but probably just the same as usual without election karaoke.
Thursday 02/05
Eighties Night @ Solus 9pm-1am, £2.50. The fun continues as people try to spend everyday they have left before the exams in the union. The musical accompaniments are a rather pleasant distraction too.
Friday 03/05
Lashtastic @ Solus 9pm-1am, £2.50. Now the weather has warmed up perhaps this night is set to compete with student barbecues, but I doubt it. You should of course be at home listening to Xpress though!
Saturday 04/05
Flirt @ Solus 9pm - 1am, free In a gesture to reward your loyalty, the Union offers you the chance to spend another craazy night in the presence of a host of ‘Dance anthems’.
Sunday 05/05
Java @ Seren Las 7.30pm, £1 Laid back sounds, wine and food. Decide on their order of importance for yourselves.
Clubbing Monday 29/04
Rational Thinking @ The End... 8pm-11pm. Drum’n’Bass Djs are promised in ultra student surroundings. Happy Mondays @ Barfly Sounds like a cash-in off the back of 24 Hour Party People to me, but you could always go and find out. Salsa Lessons @ Bar Med Probably an inferior version of that hosted by Bar Cuba, but probably worth a look. Guru Vibrations @ Berlins 9pm-2am. Soul, funk, hip-hop and, er, 80’s. NUS only. Why bother? One Mission @ Cafe Calcio 8pm til late. Cracking night, cracking venue. Cheese on Toast @ Cuba 9pm-2am, Free b4 10pm. Better than Zeus. MAD @ Dylan’s 8pm-1am. Rated Cardiff’s best by Zeus, you only need stand outside and look what’s next door to find out why. Exit Club 8pm. Free entry before 9.30pm. Gay venue. Chart and Dance. Original, eh? Student ‘Night Fever’ @ Flares Til 2am. £1 drinks all night. Suggs hosts edition of crap karaoke quiz show in Cardiff theme pub. Possibly. Salsa Classes @ Latino’s Classes from 7.30pm, disco 10pm til midnight. Surprisingly good fun. All abilities catered for. Universal @ Liquid 9.30pm-2am. Student night. Retro Night @ The Roxy Free entry. Retro music played in a club, one
presumes. Oh, the joys of blatant sarcasm!
Tuesday 30/04
Electromagnetic @ Clwb Ifor Bach 9pm-2am. Positive vibe hop-hop / pre-gangster rap / battle breaks / electro funk. Absolutely splendiferous night, worth two quid of anyones money. Which is just as well, as that’s what it costs to get in! Tonight featuring DJ Mass. Rock Inferno @ Clwb Ifor Bach (Top Floor) 9pm-2am. £2.50. Ifor Bach complies with convention and offers its own prescription of metal for the masses. Hoochy Koochy @ The Emporium 9pm-2am, £1 b4 10pm/£2. Student madness, courtesy of the amusingly named Jockstrap 5. Salsa night @ Cuba 8pm-2am, £4. Salsa classes from 8pm, disco afterwards. Great fun with a really friendly crowd. Bonk @ Zeus 9pm, £3 Teens, tunes and terror. Oh the joys of subtlety. Student Night @ Is It? Cafe. Bar. Place. Open til 1am just like most places. Alternative Beats @ The End... 8pm-11pm. Another night of total pish at The End, with ‘choons’ from the naffly named DJ Pete the order of the day. Exit Club 8pm. Free before 9.30pm. Gay Venue. Chart and Dance. Who’d have thunk it?!? YMCA Night @ Flares 8pm, I dread to think what this might entail. Take Warning @ Metros 9pm-2am, £2 b4 10.30pm. Ska Punk Night with cheap drinks. It’s sweaty, it’s smelly, it’s dingy and it’s actually great fun! Karaoke @ Reds If you must, I’ll not hold you back, but don’t expect me to join you unless you’re offering a duet. Shall I be your George, your Kiki or your Elton? Latin Dance Party @ The Toucan 8.30pm-2am. Latin music, dancing, party vibe. Obviously. Alternative @ Sam’s Bar £2 - £5. Live music from local bands plus alternative indie and retro from resident DJ’s. Bar 150 @ Bar Med Everything £1.50 all night. Beware that this fact alone might not justify the name magnificent.
Wednesday 01/05
The Cheesey Club / The Milky Bar / Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach 9.30pm-2am. £2/£2.50 after 11pm. A veritable melting pot of great music, local rivalries and Welsh music celebrities. Spread out over three floors, its technically possible to get through the whole night without seeing a single member of Tommy & the Chauffer, but highly unlikely. Student Night @ Bar Ice 9pm-2am. Late bar, drinks promotions, painfully average. DJ Nicodeamus @ Moloko Electro and Funk in plush surroundings. Shooters and Slammers Party Night @ Bar Med Theme night, where you get to shoot the retarded fuck-wits that drink here with a large gun, then slam their heads repeatedly into the bar. Maybe. Cross the Tracks @ Cuba 9pm-2am, free entry. New(ish) night, with the Hustler seal of approval. Soul, funk and Old Skool are the order of the day. Sounds good, and the flyers are ace. Check it out. Down to It @ Berlins 9pm-2am. I’d rather not, thanks. Ever. Uni-Sex @ Club X 10pm-2am. Gay Venue. Student Night, worth a mention if only for the highly amusing name. Toucan Acoustic Sessions @ Toucan Club 8pm-2am. £3. Open mic, hosted by Little Miracle. Entry gets you into the chilled DJ happenings in the downstairs lounge, too. Perfect for a relaxed midweek night out. The Boogie Box @ Flares Karaoke from the 60s and 70s. The value of the 80s continues to be denied so I recommend a boycott! Is it Chilled? @ Is it? Cafe. Bar. Place. If your week has brought you down to the depths, perhaps you’ll end up here to sink down still further. Latin Night @ Life Bar Cafe 2-4-1 drinks offers and dancing. National Student Night @ Evolution 9.30pm-2am. Carlsberg £1, all spirits £1, all other drinks £1.50. Simple, but no doubt quite effective. Wipeout @ Reds Meet UWIC students at their own night and steal secrets that could potentially accelerate the demise of the University of Wales.
Handbag 120 @ Zeus 9pm-2am. Utterly evil with garage and r’n’b.
Thursday 02/05
Singles Night @ Life Looking for love? Try this. Be sure to come dressed smartly though. Student Night @ Bar Ice 9pm-2am. Late night bar and drinks offers. Hard House @ The End... DJ Jomec does the honours. Big In Japan @ Clwb Ifor Bach 9pm-2am. The coolest Japanese thing this side of Banzai. Cracking tunes, cool clientelle and a permanent in Clwb Ifor. Corking night all round. Plush @ Emporium £3 /£2. Anything with a groove, says the press release, and they’re not far wrong. Sexy, sassy and really too good for a Thursday, Plush truly is a top night for those who like their R ‘n’ B, garage and house slinky and sexy. Of course, if you’re a big Sisters of Mercy fan, you should give it a miss. Enthusiasm @ Moloko Breaks, hip-hop and drum’n’bass. From the Hip @ Incognito 8pm-1am. House and Dance. Is it for Real? @ Is It? Cafe. Bar. Place Open til 1am. Like everyone else Bar Is It offers a night of R’n’B. Only this time you get the company of DJ Tony-C. Soul Power @ Liquid 9pm-2am. Soul and R & B, with Trevor Nelson every other week. A more extensive, and far less effective, version of Plush. Higher Learning @ Toucan 8pm-2am, £3. Beats of a hip-hopping and funky nature. Excellent night. Spellbound @ Metros 9pm-2am. 2-4-1 cocktails, metal early on, then indie classics. Arrive after 11pm, then, and it should be a right laugh. Hooray! Cabaret @ Minsky’s Show Bar Cabaret is the order of the day, usually courtesy of camp men dressed as women. Great fun, actually. You probably won’t be surprised to learn that Noel ‘All Man’ Sullivan of Hear’Say used to work here. Nudge nudge, wink wink etc.. Dance Night @ Oz Bar 9pm-1am. Dance music, £1 entry. Aspire @ Reds 9pm-2am. Great. Alternative Student Night @ The Roxy 10pm-2am. Another night clinging on to the word ‘alternative’, as if it makes any piss poor cobbled together event worth a look. It doesn’t. As The Strokes sort of said, This Is Shit.
Friday 04/05
Biionic @ Emporium 10pm, £8 Trance and Progressive House thanks to two similarly named and equally pleasant gentleman, Marco V and Mark EG. 10pm, £8/£6. Precinct @ Clwb Ifor Bach 10pm, £8 Hip-Hop courtesy of the Smut Peddlers Robots Eat My Face @ Oz Bar Live Bands and Rock, Alternative Djs. Forward Motion @ Moloko Cardiff’s underground comes together for those who can’t afford Emporium or Clwb. Chaos @ Metros 9pm -3am, £4 DJ Hwyel offers a selection of tunes in an alternative vain. Bar 150 @ Zeus 9pm-3am. Favourite party choons and games. US Garage @ The End... 8pm-11pm, With DJ Gavin. Great. Fever @ Barfly DJ Mike with a selection of indie classics. Not bad at all, actually, if a bit cramped. Oh yeah – watch you don’t get your ear bitten off walking home, either. Drinks 4 FREE @ Liquid 9.30pm, £5 entry with 4 free drinks as a bonus if you arrive before 11pm. You’ll have to be over 20 though; who knows what that drink might do you otherwise. Chaos @ Metros 9pm-3am, alternative student night. No dress code, cheap booze and good tunes. Tops! Want your club night or event to be listed in the legendary Get There section? Then email us at SSUGR1@Cardiff.ac.uk including the date, time, price and details of your event and we’ll include you on the page.
03
Get There
Super Rail
raise readers’ awareness of the humourous band names by using the power of the capital letter. Quarterbridge have a more sensible name and have supported Gene. Enjoy!
Reef + guests Thursday 2nd May @ Newport TJs, 9pm £10 There’s little else to do this week so this special outing is probably worth an evening excursion. For those of you have never been, TJs holds a few hundred people. it’s hot and sweaty and hence probably one of the best places in the UK to see Reef. The greatest rockers in the West, the West of England that is, might not have released a stream of acclaimed and inspiring albums, but nevertheless they’re a fantastic live act. Expect the singles, the hair and much in the way of derivative retro noise from the band everyone would secretly like you join. And, before you ask, yes, the trains will ensure you can tuck yourself in bed before dawn.
US Garage @ The End... 8pm-11pm, With DJ Gavin. Great. Fever @ Barfly DJ Mike with a selection of indie classics. Not bad at all, actually, if a bit cramped. Heaven @ Evolution 9pm-2.30am. £10. Brash and brassy hard house night, with a liberal sprinkling of? Its not a sodding wrestling match, people, its a frigging disco! Cool House @ Las Iguanas 9pm-1am. US & UK house. Funky, if a little cramped, house night. Not quite up to scratch as a club venue, but as a stop off en route to somewhere bigger, this fits the bill perfectly. Exit Club 8pm, free entry before 9.30pm. Gay Venue. Commercial chart and dance. Again! PLAY SOME DIFFERENT SODDING MUSIC! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Get Down and Groove @ Flares Til 2am. Funky disco says the press release. A bit crap says Get There. You decide. Mellow Mellow @ Metropolis Not the same as Metros; no this, is Metropolis where tonight Andy Loveless continues to move his mobile entertainment installation around the city. Is his name
related to the My Bloody Valentine classic? Meet him and find out. ROAR @ Vision 2K Four simple steps: remove papers from your Gair Rhydd archive; write down the names of DJs who’ve played at ROAR this year; place names in hat; choose three - hoorah you’ve confirmed this week’s line up! If you miss out tonight you can probably go and see the same men and women play Neath in a few weeks time. Heavy Metal @ The Roxy 10pm-4am. £5. Unsurprisingly, heavy metal. Actually very good at what it does, though.
Saturday 03/05
Fever @ Barfly 10.30pm-2am. Indie classics and lager. Expect a lot of contrived ‘dancing’ and that not very funny Limp Bizkit version of Faith. Not at all bad, though. Deliciously Wicked @ Berlins 8pm-2am. Repulsively awful would be a more accurate description. Deep Heat @ Club X 10pm-4am. £4-£7. Gay venue. 6 rooms, 3 floor balcony, games room & garden terrace. Well worth a
Wednesday 01/05 Loco + Shaped by Fate + Carb @ Barfly 7.30pm, £3
Thursday 02/05
Vibration White Finger + Nim Chimski + Dayshine @ Barfly 7.30pm, £3 Lambchop @ Gloucester Guildhall, £15adv Involves a trip into England, but, with Lambchop in control, one can be certain of a gentle evenining of melliflous Americana and the occasional song about Emrace’s entourage. Marvellous. Reef @ Newport TJs 7.30pm, £10 See above left.
look! The Big Party @ Dylan’s 8pm-1am. The party sounds like a great idea. Sadly,it’s in Dylan’s. Funky Techno @ The End... 8pm-11pm, with One Mission DJ’s. At last! A night a decent night at The End The ever reliable One Mission crew do what they do best – make people smile and dance! Skool Disco Party @ Philarmonic 9.30pm -2am The Betty Ford Guest List @ Metros 9pm-3am, £3 b4 10.30pm. Top alternative night, with tunes courtesy of the great and the good of Cardiff’s indie scene. More leftfield than other Metros nights, the crowd and the music are slightly older and slightly cooler. Weekend Madness @ Bar Cuba 10pm-2am. £2/£4. DJ Andy Loveless. Twin Scene @ Reds Same as Friday, only more expensive! Hooray! Glam Night @ The Roxy 10pm-4am. £5. Expect an orgy of all things glam. Apart from Gary Glitter, of course. And Jonathan King. Or that bloke from Slade... Desire @ Zeus 9pm-3am. A night so unimaginably bad, I refuse to waste a witty comment on it. Deep Heat @ Club X Dance and Funky house Worldwide Special @ Liquid Can you resist.
Sunday 04/05
Rational Thinking @ The End 7pm-10.30pm The same as Mondays except with the added promise of Guest DJs Balling the Jack @ Clwb Ifor Bach Combination of Rockabilly and Full Custom Rock’n’Roll DJs offers much promise. Heartless Crew @ Vision 2K £13.50 The latest collective of garage hopefuls join the Funkin Marvellous hoardes. Remember kids, this is where Pay as you Go Cartel AND So Solid Crew began their voyage to stardom. Danny Rampling + Joey Negro @ Liquid £16.50 Now here’s a story. Rampling is Jakatta! Yes, not only does he have a show on Radio 1, but he managed to get his own song played continuously a few months back. How curious! Nevertheless, L’America are well known and likeable types so this should be a good night.
Live Music The capital burst back into action with some arena action and the traditional round of Barfly action. Plan ahead thanks to the Coming Up section.
Monday 29/04
And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead @ Bristol Academy £10 Frenetic punk-rock action as Texan challengers tour their impressive third album. Should be a great night Fathead + Bombshell @ Sams Bar 7.30pm, free Mark 2 + SPG Venus Elixir @ Barfly 7.30pm, £6 Could this represent Marco V’s departure from Emporium to the depths of Indie rock under a new vaguely similar moniker. Probably not, but maybe one day.
Tuesday 30/04
Quaterbridge + Dopamine + BooksAsFuel 7.30pm, £5(!) In another act, demonstrating unparalleled charity I
Friday 03/05
Fford Allen + Sublimation + Starski @ Barfly 7.30pm, £4 The Gair Rhydd and Xpress Radio Media Awards 2002 7.30pm, £4/ £5 Not exactly a live music event, but we need to plug our event somewhere. Its the Cardiff Student Media awards night – the chance for everyone who has helped out with Gair Rhydd or Xpress to be rewarded for their hard work and dedication. There will be a limited supply of free booze and nibbles, but the real reason you should come is it will be one of the final chances to have a big send off with your friends. Tickets are on sale now from the Box Office. Smart dress or black tie please.
Saturday 04/05
Flood + Slam Marianne @ Barfly 7.30pm, £4 Tommy and the Chauffeur + Watershed + Star*Bodixa 10pm, £5 For those, who queued hours for Rock of Travolta’s autographs, I’m sorry, I was wrong! Hope you enjoyed Larry Love instead. This week’s listing will happen though and it’s as special as ever. Watershed promote their excellent single with a evening cuddled up alongside one of Cardiff’s favourite acoustic duos.
Sunday 05/05
Westgate Street + Steve Singh @ Sam’s Bar 8.00pm, £3 Acoustic pleasantries from student types. Acoustic Jam @ The Toucan Club 8pm, FREE. A chance for all budding songsters to get up and show off their wares, which is usually a good thing.
Monday 06/05
Headtest + Talkshow + Jarcrew @ Clwb Ifor Bach 8pm, £3 Alternative pop sounds from experienced local acts. So famous that a friend asked the other day, ‘is that the Talkshow?’ You know where to go.
Societies Cardiff Film Society Thursday 2nd May, 4-6PM Open audition with everyone welcome. No experience necessary. Meet in Societies Lounge. Email Cardifffilmsociety@hotmail.com for more details.
Arts Arts returns thanks to the Chapter’s admirable and continued commitment to providing poor students with something worthwhile to do in their spare time. No Exit @ Sherman Theatre 2nd-3rd May, £2.50 door Student production of one of Jean Paul Sartre’s later and greater plays.
Coming Up Everyone needs to leave the house or the library at the some point. Therefore, if there’s nothing that catches your discerning eyes this week then take a glance at these forthcoming events. The Electric Soft Parade + Leaves @ Newport TJs, 14th May, £7adv This year’s indie darlings draw the indie kids for their annual journey to Newport’s legendary cave. Iceland’s answer to Supergrass offer their support.
booksreviews
Wars on the interweb Debating Matters: The Internet: Brave New World? (Hodder and Stoughton)
A
critiques from the library this book is great, as it gives you something to talk about and enough references to other texts for you to read further. It should be available for a bargain £5.99 so the University’s buying office, or in fact you, have no excuses not to buy it. You won’t regret it. One can only hope that the rest of the series is this good. Sam Brokenshaw
S THE introduction of the book discusses, the series of books known as Debating Matters has been written by the Institution of Ideas (IoI) to For those of us who find help us, the cultural critiques unwieldy, general public, this book is great understand things in a non-preachy and yet highly academic way (one should note the pun in the title). Sort of cultural studies for Joe Bloggs. It largely succeeds, due to the enthusiasm and quality of the writing contained in this volume. The book is divided into four short essays written by different ‘scholars.’ Titles include, ‘Cyber Schymber, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and to Love the Net’ and ‘Copyright and the Net.’ These essays are informative if sometimes somewhat shallow in their examinations of the subjects. The answers vary and contrast, showing a picture far from black and white in its depiction of the nets values and short-comings. For those of us who really don’t like lugging those huge, dense cultural
04
Critical acclaim made easy AN EXAMINATION of most weekend newspapers will reveal at least one article connected with literature of some kind, whether it is a report on the latest comicbook spin-off, or an interview with an author that half of the paper’s readership had supposed dead. In most cases, the perceived ‘quality’ of the paper (price 80 pence = quality/ coffee-table aesthetic appeal guaranteed) will determine what kind of articles get published, only for them to be ignored by anyone but finks like myself – in most cases Vikram Seth and Margaret Attwood will be lucky to find themselves lining a litter tray come Monday morning. Generally, the reviews of books in these sorts of sections are written much in the spirit of the piece you are reading, i.e. there is space to fill and someone is responsible for filling it. Generally speaking, the reviews of non-fiction will be of a greater interest, if only because the reviewer is more likely to harbour some personal bias towards the subject covered in the book. However, what this article concerns are the interviews with authors and poets, which, depending on the fame/ obscurity/ sex appeal of the person involved, are relegated to the ‘cultural’ section, or feature on the front of the glossy magazine. And why should I be so interested? Three words: grubby, salacious gossip. Oh yes. The three most common
can sometimes lead to a grade-A character assassination), the piece allows us into the freaky world of the writing profession, and thus to the question: is there such a thing as the literary lifestyle? As a hypothetical experiment, let’s invent a fictional author, Orville Cranbourne. Having just turned seventynine, he reflects on his life and work in a dead-cert scoop for Gair Rhydd’s Books page (for ‘hypothetical’ read ‘downright miraculous’). Our correspondent questions the venerable American about his WASP upbringing, his sojourn in both Northern England and Morocco, and is acclaimed lifelong literary career. So far, all has gone well, and Cranbourne seems to be taken with the young chiseller. Gradually the conversation turns to the author’s daily routine. “Oh yes, I generally wake up to a steaming cup of Earl Grey, then after breakfast I take my morning remedy and a mint julep. I write for a couple of hours, take my afternoon remedy and study the racing form...” At this point the interviewer enquires as to what the ‘remedies’ may be. A mistake. Cranbourne begins to show the Southern grit that made him such a force in the literary world. The interviewer reports back to Gair Rhydd with a severe backside. Caused by a pencil. So, even a fictional author leads a shadowy and suspicious life, which means that you, dear readers, need not have to sit through a stream of tedious examples of the lives of authors, Why should I be interested of which you already knew. Instead, in author interviews? Three most why not pretend to be a famous writer from words: grubby, salacious the comfort of your own home, without going gossip through the hassle of composing wordy paragraphs on a limited advance whilst ‘revelations’ are serial adultery (eg. John Updike), hoping to gain critical and public acclaim? Simply live drunken bad behaviour (Norman Mailer) and drug in cheap rented accommodation, acquire a drink or addictions (William Burroughs). Barring the occasional drug habit (or both), cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend worthy interview, usually by another author (and this and generally lead a life of ill health. Easy! Vladimir
gamesreviews g
05
Electric surf parade TRANSWORLD SURF (XBOX [REV]/ PS2) Atari/ Infogrames
I
F TRANSWORLD Surf could be summarised in a sentence it would be 'like Tony Hawks Skateboarding at sea'. Apart from Championship Surf on the Dreamcast and one event in the 8bit classic California Games, we can't remember another surfing game. So powered by Xbox, here's Angel Studios putting their water effects from Splashdown to another good use. Transworld Surf is named after the magazine and TV sports series (which used to be on Saturday mornings on channel 4 and now on Sky Sports) and features digitised versions of real life surfers. Woah, gnarly dude. You can even see mini filmed biographies of each of these meaningless wave-loving
dudes (and one dudette) which means eight selectable characters and even more surfboards. The rules of the surfing sim are this: go under a wave, you're wiped out. Jump badly and you're wiped out. Surf through a net and you'll release the trapped dolphin – this is very good and ups your karma. If your karma falls to bad you'll have to watch yourself in hazardous sectors, or you'll be eaten by sharks. The main problem with Transworld Surf is a stab to realism. After you finish using a wave though either its power draining or you wiping out, you have to paddle to get to the next wave, or call out the lovely 'beach girl' to give you a water-ski lift to another wave. It slows the game down, unlike the arenas of Tony Hawks or Dave Mirra, where you'll just move to the next obstacle. But that’s the point. Part of the pleasure in surfing (I imagine)
It’s like Tony Hawk’s at sea but lacking the open endedness. It can’t reach the gameplay heights
comes from the wait (or so the guy from the Guinness ad says) for the wave, and your skills to conquer it, and to generally show off. The controls aren't intuitive and are awkward to use. For instance, the black and white buttons serve as 'duck', so you can avoid wipeouts, but they're not easy to hit quickly, on the that bit that’s out of reach. The gameplay is at least more than pull stunt, make combo, repeat, so saving dolphins fits nicely into the setting and the surfing ethos. But because you’ve got to catch a certain wave to do so, compared to the open-ended environments of other stunt games, the linearity is a big boo-boo. The camera usually behaves fine, but awkwardly cuts in close when you're going under a barrel of water – a pant-droppingly exciting trick. Graphically, it doesn't stun you until you start to think what other console could represent such a wide range of water up to the horizon. Transworld Surf is an ambitious title that fails to deliver the smooth skill-based fun that Tony Hawk's does so well, but is imaginative and well presented, even if it can’t
Dash and Burn MAD DASH RACING (XBOX) Eidos
M
AD DASH makes a brave attempt to mix two previously separate gaming genres- the racer and the platformer – in a way that can be summed up as Crash Bandicoot meets the Krypton Factor… on acid (house). The characters are all cel-shaded cartoons, and are categorised into three groups – strong bashers, nimble dashers and nifty gliders. You’ve got to race through tracks that are essentially assault courses, and when I say ‘race’ I mean ‘run’ mainly, there’s no vehicles involved. Obstacles have been a prime device in racing games – GT3’s hairpin bends, Mario Kart’s Shy Guys, F-zero’s ice surfaces, all surprising on the first lap, wary on the second. In Mad Dash, the courses are one big (four minute) lap. Although its original (still a very good thing), there’s too little time to appreciate all the little nuances and design that’s gone into the final product. Partly because they are courses, not tracks, there’s more
Pet sounds
Unlike other animated racing games, Mad Dash can boast a top soundtrack from the likes of Moby (a remix of Honey), Fatboy Slim (b-side Acid 8000), the Propellorheads (the big beat-tastic Bang On!) plus less famous artists. The tunes work well, mainly because it’s a relief that it isn’t skate punk and nu-metal, and it goes well with the busy layout of the game. Despite this, it still would have been nice to be able to use the Xbox’s hard drive for your own choons, but the selection here fits the bill fine.
Looks simple, but those platforms rotate. But now is a good time to use your powerup to get the leader freedom than in any other game to go your own way, for not only are there multiple paths, but some can only be reached by certain characters, through boosting up cliffs, knocking down rocks and gliding off high points. As you might expect, the paths are strewn with powerups a plenty, but the speed boost potions are incredibly weak, and act as well as when you cross the road just before the traffic starts to come and you run for all of two steps – almost not worth doing. What is worth doing are stunts, which will get you air, speed and credibility. The same for the taglines that can be leaped upon for a quicker descent. The AI never seems to stray far away from you, in front or behind, removing any competitive nature away from Mad Dash. It wants to be a frenzied multiplayer game like Mario Kart, but theres too much in the courses for you to spend time on attacking your mates. Mario Kart’s comparatively calm courses mean that attacking is part of the equation. A highly creditable effort, but possibly it’s one left for the kids. Chris Faires
match the literal and gameplay heights that big Tone can reach. Rent it for a quick blast, but for
once I’m gonna say that the real thing just might be more fun. Chris Faires
THE NEWS COCK: COCKATORIAL Hide the butter, mother, for truly I have been stroked up the wrong way. Microsoft! Xbox! One hundred pounds off! One month after release! This particular chicken is staggered beyond belief that the price cut was so heavy and so soon. Now Microsoft is losing ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS PER XBOX. And then Nintendo hit back: Gamecube will launch for £129.99, an incredibly low price for a brand new console. If I only I could handle money, I’d be straight into Electronics Boutique for a pre-order. Anyone who spent £300 on an Xbox will be offered two free games and a joypad in compensation. Go to www.xbox.com/uk and download a word file, complete and return to receive your ‘free’ booty. At least Microsoft is doing something right – PS2 owners were offered diddly squat when it’s price was slashed, and yes, dammit, I said diddly! In other news, there are strong net rumours that Nintendo will re-release the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on Gamecube in a 3-disc set that will include the original version, a new version with cel-shaded graphics, the 64DD add on, a making of movie and a soundtrack CD. Also, Square will rerelease FF for PS1. Expect a £9.99 pricepoint.
WEBSITE OF THE WEEK:
www.herobuilders.com
As seen on Have I got news for you, the site which sells action figures of Tony Blair, George Dubya Bush
and Osama bin Laden. You can also send photos of yourself and get your very own action figure made for a princely sum of $400. The others cost $27 each.
filmreviews
06
12 inch gong Armed with only two pizzas, a jar of Nescafe and one of those eye opening gizmos they use on Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange, Film sat down to watch the entire length of the overnight Oscar ceremony. About five loo breaks, nine coffees and seven hours later A Beautiful Mind was awarded Best Film, allowing movie fans around Britain the chance for some well earned sleep. Neil Blain looks at all the tears and traumas from last months event
T
HIS YEARS CEREMONY, in its new Hollywood location, started with its usual flair as the stars arrived to flaunt both their designer dresses, increasingly over the top hair styles (see Jennifer Lopez’s ‘bell’ cut) and most importantly their huge ego’s. All the movie moguls interviewed on the red carpet innocently wished each other luck but the stresses and strains of wanting to win were clearly showing on all of their faces. Fortunately the controversy surrounding Russell Crowe’s behaviour at the BAFTA’S did not overshadow events, and after everyone had finally taken their seats an awkward Tom Cruise arrived on stage to introduce the ceremony. With her usual flair, Whoopi Goldberg floated down from the ceiling to act as host, and after kicking off the night with a few expected ‘black jokes’ the proper business of recognising talent could begin. Expectations for Brit success was high as eight of the twenty acting nominations were British (Tom Wilkinson for In the Bedroom, Ben Kingsley for Sexy Beast, Ian Mckellen for Lord of the Rings, Maggie Smith and Helen Mirren for Gosford Park, and Jim Broadbent, Judi Dench and Kate Winslet for Iris), but only Jim Broadbent and Julian Fellowes (Best Original
Screenplay for Gosford Park) came back to Blighty with extra weight in their suitcases. As anticipated, in light of last years tragic events, Woody Allen, director of Manhattan, received the job of delivering a witty celebration of the city of New York, which featured clips from Big Apple movies such as King Kong, Mean Streets, Dog Day Afternoon, On the Waterfront and The French Connection, and avoided being overly cheesy (that task later went to Kevin Spacey who led a minutes silence). Other tributes went to Arthur Hiller who received a special humanitarian award. Robert Redford, famed for starring in such classics as The Candidate, The Sting, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, All the President’s Men, and The Three Days of the Condor, directing critically acclaimed movies such as A River Runs Through It and Quiz Show, and founding the much celebrated indie Sundance Film Festival, received a life time achievement award. Sidney Poitier, famous for opening Hollywood’s doors to black actors after taking controversial leading roles in films such as In the Heat of the Night and The Defiant Ones, also received a special award, delivering a much applauded emotional speech, telling of the barriers that such films helped to overcome. When Denzel Washington received the
And the winner is... Best Film A Beautiful Mind
Best Short Film The Accountant
Best Film Editing Black Hawk Down
Best Director Ron Howard for A Beautiful Mind
Best Art Direction Moulin Rouge
Best Makeup The Lord of the Rings
Best Actor Denzel Washington for Training Day
Best Documentary Murder on a Sunday Morning
Best Costume Moulin Rouge
Best Actress Halle Berry for Monsters Ball
Best Documentary Short Thoth
Best Supporting Actor Jim Broadbent for Iris Best Supporting Actress Jennifer Connelly for A Beautiful Mind Best Original Screenplay Gosford Park Best Adapted Screenplay A Beautiful Mind Best Cinematography Lord of the Rings Best Foreign Language Film No Man’s Land
Best Animated Film Shrek Best Animated Short For the Birds Best Sound Black Hawk Down Best Sound Editing Pearl Harbor Best Score Lord of the Rings Best Song Monsters Inc. Randy Newman’s ‘If I didn’t have you’ Best Visual Effects Lord of the Rings
This weeks Gair Rhydd film club film is Michael Mann’s blistering thriller The Insider starring an explosive Al Pacino and an Oscar nominated Russell Crowe. The Insider will be showing at 2pm on Wednesday at UGC Cinemas Cardiff and will cost the unbelievably diminutive cost of £2.
Best Actor Oscar for his role as a tough cop in Training Day and Halle Berry became the first black woman to win a Best Actress Oscar, racial equality became the theme of the night. Unfortunately this overshadowed the fact that these two prominent actors won Oscars in recognition of their superlative acting talent, not because of the colour of their skin, and Samuel L. Jackson made an important point when he later commented “hopefully this will be the last time that such a big deal will be made about an African American winning an award because we are part of the Hollywood mainstream.” Other treats featured a celebration of the history of film scores and special effects and Sting, Paul Mccartney, Randy Newman and John Goodman finished the night with renditions of their Oscar nominated songs from such films as Monster’s Inc. and Vanilla Sky, damaged only by the fact they were also joined by Faith Hill and Enya. In a ceremony famed for its gaffes, little actually went wrong, all except the fact that Hugh Grant forgot to wear his glasses and embarrasingly blinked and stuttered out the nominations for Best Original Score, a cock up mostly unnoticed due to the fact that everyone thought he was simply practising for his next role.
filmreview
07
The Modern Age
Contemporary dance groups are hitting Cardiff in a big way this Spring. Welsh Independent Dance and the Transitions Dance Company, at Chapter and the Sherman Theatre respectively are hosting two big shows in mid May. Arts checked them out to get a sneaky preview... If dance is your bag baby, there’s no excuse for you not to treat yourself to at least one of these performances. Welsh Independent Dance presents a vibrant, visual and varied evening of dance by Wales based artists. Funded by the European Social Fund and the Arts Council of Wales, three choreographers will be presenting their latest creations to audiences at Chapter on Friday 10 and Saturday 11 May 2002 at 8pm. Sean Tuan John and Ruth Douglas will be first up, showcasing their individual performances. This event will preview their Wales based Commissions, which has afforded them the opportunity to create new dance work with a pool of five dancers. While Tuan John is renowned for his extensive dark humour, kitsch aesthetic and his aggressive and ironic dance style, Ruth Douglas is a relative newcomer. Selected for her creative potential and choreographic talents she is definitely a choreographer to look out for in the future. Her latest work Outward Bound is inspired by pedestrian and everyday movements, imagined and personal stories and uses theatrical imagery and highly
PIRANESI’S SUBLIME DREAMS National Museum and Gallery Park Place 28th March to 4th June THE IMAGINATION OF Giovanni Piranesi existed in duality, demonstrated in the contrast between light and dark inherent in all his work. Imagining Ancient Rome is a vivid exhibition, taking in this contrast well. There is far to much for one to take in one visit, hence multiple trips may be required, but as this exhibition is free, that won’t be a problem. Piranesi’s works take the form of prints, produced with etched pieces of copper plate. The process is very detailed but explained well in the literature surrounding the exhibition which is always of a very high quality – informative and knowledgeable without being patronising or rhetoric. The two main displays are of his works on ancient Rome and the spectacular gothic splendour of ‘Imaginary Prisons.’ The former work is clean and aesthetically pleasing, whereas the latter assail the mind and are grim, all cross hatchings and
physical movement to create a moving and intricate dance piece. Following them will be multimedia artist Marega Palser. Her collaboration with writers/ artists Alan Osborne and Derek Jarman promises to be a challenging fusion of the Japanese movement form Butoh and accompanying live guitar. To book tickets call the Chapter box office on 029 2030 4400 or for more information on this event call Welsh Independent Dance on 029 2038 7314. Now in its nineteenth year, Transitions Dance Company presents another outstanding selection of work from some of the world’s most exciting and innovative choreographers. Witness the best of a new generation of dancers as they step out onto the international stage. Enjoy a dynamic programme of specially commissioned dance theatre. Featuring diverse artists from the UK such as Jasmin Vardimon and her show Oh Mr Grin, to Jan De Schynkel with Au Suivant, Henri Oguike with Brightside. Vardimon concentrates her work around the social definitions of deviance and morality, questioning the dynamics of relationships within a nuclear family, and often unveiling
nightmare subject matter. Many of Piranesi’s works have found their way into books and some of these are displayed, really illuminating the context of his work and demonstrating the level of detail. It is easy to be over-awed by the imagination of the artist and his attention to detail. Plate five of ‘Imaginary Prisons’ demonstrates the images of ancient Rome that he placed into this work with the lion bass reliefs and images of Roman Legionaires. In essence the two halves of the exhibition merge and mould into each other, creating a visual landscape the binds a relationship between the audience and the artist; creating a panoramic landscape simultaneously of pleasure, aestheticism and of the macabre and psychoanalytic. The sheer volume and quality of art here insists that there are too many highlights to list, and it truly has to be seen to be believed. It is certainly an excellent display of an excellent artist’s work. Not often do exhibition of this calibre find the light of day, due to the private ownership of great art, this we have to thank the University of Manchester for, as they organised and co-ordinated the exhibition. See it before its too late, in fact, as that is far off, see it many times. Enjoy it too, I know you will. Sam Brokenshaw
the hypocrisy behind a façade of blissful domesticity. De Schynkel, explores a world of illusion and magic, through a fairy tale story of tentative relationships. With moments of theatrical brilliance, pitting sensuality against innocence, De Schynkel is a talent to watch. Oguike,
Tuan John is renowned for his extensive dark humour, kitsch aesthetic and his aggressive and ironic dance style renowned for his vigorous and intricate sense of musicality, creates a new work emphasising rhythm, energy and celebrating the joy of dancing and the desire to entertain. For more information please contact the Sherman Theatre Box Office on 02920 2064 6900. The event takes place on Wednesday 10th May in Venue 1 at 7.30pm. Tickets cost from £10.
Arts preview
NO EXIT Two Sugars Productions Sherman Theatre (Venue 3) 2nd–3rd May Three people, one room, one locked door...one knife. Do the math. No Exit promises to be an uncomfortably thrilling evening for all. The play, by Jean Paul Sartre, was first performed in 1944. Three characters; Garcin, Inez and Estelle find themselves in hell. The play quickly descends into a series of psychological mind-games and twisted confrontations, not only with each other but also with themselves. The tension and build up is fascinating to watch. The atmosphere of intense discomfort spreads from the characters to the audience, through a number of pregnant pauses and violent outbursts. Each of the characters begins the play by creating an illusion about themselves, which gradually disintegrates as each explores why they are in hell. Although there is no torturer in
this room, which puzzles all three at first, they soon realise that they are the true torturers of each other. The underlying themes of manipulation, control and retribution combine to give a truly terrifying portrait of the capacity for human evil. The characters question why they have been brought together, but it becomes obvious that there is a deliberate and cunning reason for everything. They are complete mismatches and subsequently clash frequently in opinions, making for an entertaining and
disturbing display. Inez, the postoffice clerk who doesn’t “care much for men”, is one of the most inherently evil characters in drama. Contrasted to this are the manners and shallow vanity of high-society Estelle, who seems superior to her position until gradually her sins are exposed in all their flawed glory. The final member of this triad is Garcin who appears to have the most conscience out of the three, and we see flashes of his painful inner struggles. He utters the most famous line in the play: “hell is other people”. There are many mini-climaxes before the final violent climax that ends the play. These manifest themselves in silences, monologues, the delusions of the characters, and the development of strong feelings that Inez harbours for Estelle, and Estelle directs at Garcin. The violence and futility crescendos to a terrifying height of action, leaving audiences disturbed and contemplative. No Exit has the eeriness of a Gothic tale, the frustration of sexuality and is the cornerstone of existentialist morality. Go and see it! Nicola York
musicsingles
08
So the week has dragged on, but finally, music brings you part two of the magnificent post-easter round-up I ask you, can life get any better. (Um...hopefully, yes) THE COOPER TEMPLE CLAUSE Who Needs Enemies? (Morning Records)
THE COOPER Temple Clause appear at every corner to be desperately trying to make themselves sound more clever, arty, and sophisticated than they are. However simply namedropping Add n to (x), going on about how great Mogwai are live, and the way overly-complicated way you wire up your gear onstage really won’t cut the mustard my friends, when your records still sound like Liam Gallagher farting over a Charlatans bside. Nasal loser-rock of the most shameful quality. John Widdop
The singer has Ashcroft’s voice and vocal style down to a tee and this EP ranges from a Sonnet like anthem, to a Drugs Don’t Work ballad, finally ending with a six minute psychedelic shoegazer so typical of the early Verve. Whilst this EP has it’s moments of quality it is completely let down by the clinical reproduction of the Verve’s sound. Lads – you know you’ll make more money as a tribute act, do the right thing. Andy Parsons
HOOBASTANK Crawling in the Dark (Mercury) A LOT of magazines have said that Hoobastank sound like Incubus, but I think they sound more like Refused, especially on this track, but that could just be because they use an identical bridge and similar riff to the Refused song New Noise. The irony of recycling parts from an album that criticized the lack of originality in modern music must have escaped them. Owain Cooke
THE COOPER TEMPLE CLAUSE: Angry young men
PULP Bad Cover Version (Island)
AH THE unmistakable tones of Jarvis Cocker, how great the world is! Jarvis sings “its not easy to forget me” and how right he is. This song is classically Pulp, but I can’t help but wonder is it five years too late? Admittedly Pulp fans and those who can remember Common People are going to love this but what are the teeny-boppers who now have control over record sales going think? The edge of defiance in the song may be a little subtle for them, can they fall for the geek made cool? Kate Price
WOODSTAR Time To Bleed EP (Regal)
LIMERICK FIVE piece Woodstar release their much anticipated debut Time to Bleed. Each of the five tracks leave your emotions running high and craving more, from the emotive poignancy of Sorry Skin to the shimmering delicacy of These Scars. With leanings toward the likes of Mercury Rev and Elbow, expect heart-breaking intensity against an elegant backdrop. Melancholic yet gracefully beautiful, this stunning introduction into the fragile world of Woodstar is well worth investing in. Gemma Jones
VEGA4 Better Life EP (Taste)
YOU CAN tell that Oasis have just released their comeback single – out of the woodwork comes crawling every indie half-chancer that reckons that can jump on the bandwagon. Vega4 are such an outfit, though while thankfully not sounding completely like Oasis, they sound so much like the Verve it’s cringeworthy.
LAST DAYS OF APRIL Playerin’ (Bad Taste)
IN THE US, Last Days of April are signed to Deep Elm records, which is officially the most emo label in the world, and the high quality of its output means that its stamp is seen as a seal of quality on everything it releases and this is no exception. Playerin’ is beautiful deeply layered emotional-pop music that will get stuck in your head after just one listen, yet still manages to avoid being sickly or repetitive. Owain Cooke
HEIST That’s The Kind Of Man I Am (S2)
FOR EVERY Arnold Schwarzeneggar there is a Steven Segal. Thus we are treated to Heist, a would be lothario robbing from Craig David’s bank of garage inflected R n’ B and escaping with only loose change. This man sings with an emotional detachment that the listener can entirely sympathise with after 3:37 seconds of his pap. In attempting to mimic David’s pristine cool he has made music more routine than scratching ones bollocks on awakening. There are no ingenious hooks here, only Heist muttering of his sexual efficiency. “If this songs a hit, I feel I’ll be the same just rich” says the John Major of pop. It’s unlikely he will have to deal with that transition. John Holman
LHB Everybody Sees It on My Face (Telstar) THE MAJOR difference between sampling and bootlegging used to be the cost of the out of court settlement. These days, we know better – bootlegging is witty and cool while sampling is in his forties and married to Zoe Ball. Thanks go to The Police for providing the main body of the song while LHB (which stands for New Order) have created one of the best unimportant songs I’ve heard in a long time. Very buyable but judge them by their next single. David Gibson
IDLEWILD: Hold guitars in their arms as well
IRON MAIDEN Run To The Hills (EMI) THE CLIMAX of their current live album, this glorious slice of eighties rock is everything you could want from Iron Maiden. The acrobatic melody, the big hair solos and the gleefully insensitive lyrics about the genocide of Native Americans by European settlers are all in place. The live B-sides from 1982 prove that the Maiden haven’t seen fit to change one bit in 20 years. Damn Right! Mat Croft
ADEMA Giving In (Arista) ADEMA VOCALIST Mark Chavez seems a bit confused. Giving In starts off sounding like A1 with a bit more of a kick and moves into a Marilyn Manson-esque menacing whisper. It’s saved, however, by good old-fashioned heavy guitar riffs. Overall, the single makes quite pleasant listening but it’s dull, and the b-sides are no more inspiring. One for the fans but easily missable. Emily Miller
THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS Letter From An Occupant (Matador) THE NEW Pornographers hail from Vancouver, feature the substantial talent of Peel favourite Neko Case on vocals and are bloody good. The lead track is a glorious mixture of Blondie and The Strokes wrapped up with a glitzy pop twist. It’s catchy and infectious as hell and deserves as much recognition as New York’s finest have received. The other two tracks are delicious mixture of Teenage Fanclub, Pavement and Elliott Smith. “When I was a baby I looked like a pig, My nose
Music’s Owain Cooke pays his respect to Layne Staley, frontman for Seattle grunge band Alice in Chains, who was found dead in his apartment last week SINCE ALICE in Chains went on in-definite hiatus a few years ago, there had been many rumours surrounding frontman Layne Staley. Of all of them, the one which most people believed was that Layne was still a heroin addict and it was this addiction that ended his life at the age of 34. The saddest thing was that for fans of the band, this news had been expected for over a decade.
was a snout and my ears were too big,” sings Neko on When I Was A Baby. No matter now though because the noise they’re making now is truly beautiful. Andy Parsons
IDLEWILD You Held The World In Your Arms (Parlophone) THANK goodness. Just when you think there’s no way back from guitar-band-graveyard someone returns just to prove you wrong. And Idlewild should be extremely happy with this electrifying comeback from oblivion. Hardly half-hearted, You Held The World In Your Arms is in fact a storming reminder of what’s we’ve been missing. The similar-to-REM sound is still undeniably etched into the Scots unconscious. But when adding your own particular folk-twang and blazing chorus to such a mimicking means you make a sound this tremendous, they’d be wise to try and keep it there. Gemma Curtis
THE SICK ANCHORS Whole Again EP (Lost Dog Records) ONCE AGAIN proving that Glasgow is the home of pure musical genius a sublime EP of cover versions performed by Aidan from Arab Strap, Stuart from Mogwai and Sheepy (session musician for the likes of The Delgados). The title track of course is the Atomic Kitten song and Aidan’s breathless performance gives the song a tender feel that those three media whores never managed to give it. Bill Is Dead by The Fall and You Always Hurt The One You Love are the other tracks, all performed in a stripped back Arab Strap style. Therefore this EP is possibly an acquired taste, but all fans of Scottish Lo-Fi should certainly sail in this direction. £5 to any DJ brave enough to play this at the summer ball. Andy Parsons Layne was born in Kirkland in 1967, and after playing in several glam bands formed Alice in Chains in late 1987 in Seattle along with Jerry Cantrell, Mike Starr and Sean Kinney. They released their debut EP, the sadly prophetic We Die Young in June 1990. Even at this stage there were references to drugs in the lyrics. During the tours for debut album Facelift, Layne’s problems with heroin began. Layne’s heroin problem was well documented throughout the height of Alice in Chain’s fame, but perhaps nowhere more than on their second album. Named after a slang term for heroin, 1992’s Dirt was almost exclusively about Layne’s drug problem and the lyrics to songs like Godsmack, Junkhead and Sickman left little to the imagination. During a temporary hiatus in 1994, Layne contributed vocals to the Mad Season album Above, which also featured members of Pearl Jam and The Screaming Trees. Mad Season’s bassist John Baker Saunders died of a heroin overdose in 1999. The drug also claimed the live of Layne’s fiancée Demri Parrott in 1996, which sent the singer into a deep depression. It was around this time that Alice in Chains went on leave, never to reform or play another concert.
musicalbums CYCLEFLY Crave (Radioactive)
THE MUSIC press should be very worried that a band can record such dated trash as Crave, already two years into the new millennium. Cyclefly sound like every extinct goth-glam act we laugh at on TOTP2. Why a metal band would try so hard to write songs that sound like Suede B-sides is a question best left unanswered. Cyclefly attempt tuneful metal without the songwriting ability needed for tunes or the dynamic force needed for metal. Frontman Declan O’Shea has a dirty voice that should sound like Mike Patton of Faith No More but comes out like that of the Golem in Lord of the Rings. FNM’s influence does show up on a few tracks (particularly on Crowns), and Chester Bennington of leading FNM copyists Linkin Park contributes vocals to Karma Killer. The muddy production and mid-paced songs make listening a chore. This album should have been as catchy as Faith No More’s The Real Thing, or as glam and camp as Marilyn Manson’s Mechanical Animals, but just sounds tired, dated and pointless. As live performers, Cyclefly have a reputation for incendiary, energetic gigs. On record, though, they are yet to reproduce this. Mat Croft
FC KAHUNA Machine Says Yes (City Rockers)
SO HE really is back then. After two teaser singles, Mr. Kahuna (as in the burger) has released this, his first long-player since the demise of big beat popularity. Although more ambient/ break beat in orientation, rolling bass lines and funky samples are as prevalent as ever they were. Almost all ten tracks are five-minute epics in themselves. With a cleverly layered, mixed and mastered melange of bleepy keyboards, occasional instrumental or vocal samples and healthy beats, it is not far short of legendary. Andrew Davidson
THE BLUETONES The Singles
(Superior Quality Recordings) REGARDLESS OF your opinion on Britpop and its inevitable casualties, with this singles collection The Bluetones have come out of the genres’ scrappy demise smelling somewhat of roses. The problem is that they have always divided the critics, and the concentration of tracks taken from three albums (and a few ‘extras’ tacked to the end) will only further cement the opinion. Although, what in fact it should do, is prove the lads have the ability to write a tune and a half, and provide many a pleasurable indie bit-part lest should we forget. The grubby yet glorious garage-pop of limited release, and now deleted, Are You Blue
Or Are You Blind, fan-favourite and buoyant shimmer of Bluetonic, and chart-topper Slight Return, both from debut album Expecting To Fly, fondly rekindles the early days. Through the Return To The Last Chance Saloon era, they further play the accessible but not superficial pop game. The small-time lonesome wallowing of the blissfully slacking Sleazy Bed Track and instant gad-about catch of 4-Day Weekend, between the years there’s not anything too markedly different in content. But then why change when you’re winning? Unfortunately though something happened when in Science and Nature times they nosedived somewhat, slumping with Autophilia and Mudslide. Harbouring a rather dragging and laboured sound, the usually easy delight and common-touch lyrical reflections went astray. Not awful, but not their finest phase to date either. But you can’t keep good alternative popstars down for long. With the engaging nicety and comic tale-telling of After Hours (of which the recent release saw them back in the public’s conscious and on Top of The Pop’s) and the unreleased The Bluetones Big Score with its incredibly emphatic big-band chorus, the Hounslow massive are limbering up for further action. Admittedly its glaring white-boy indie romps the all of them, but then at large it’s just so good and timeless too. Rather like the last seven years hasn’t happened at all. Gemma Curtis
PO NA NA COMPILATION Door to the Souk (Wrasse)
TWO CDS, fancy packaging, a colourful pullout track listing and lots of bourgeois sophistication. A recipe for success? Maybe… In an attempt to carve themselves a niche in the ever-competitive realm of club culture, the clever folk at Po Na Na take another step in their quest to commercialise the formerly subversive. With the first CD tackling a worldly roots and reggae theme, an eclectic mix of Manu Chao, Aswad, Alpha Blondy and Beatmasters makes for a refreshingly interesting listen. What it lacks though, is any real rude-boy bollocks. The likes of Jimmy Cliff, Lee Perry and Desmond Dekker are sorely missed. Following similar lines of achievement, the second disk breaks little new ground in the funky electronic dance sphere. With that said, this varied conglomeration of beats embraces a global feeling of quite some intrinsic value. Andrew Davidson
THE JON SPENCER BLUES EXPLOSION Plastic Fang (Mute)
I’M SWIMMING against the tide here, since Plastic Fang has generally been received as
09 lacking teeth. But the problem with BDB: Fire Blues Explosion has always been hazard waiting taking them too literally. In fact, this to happen could possibly be their best work yet. It comes closest to the Aegean Stables task of replicating the live experience, while also demonstrating songwriting developed into gothic narrative. Recent single She Said even benefits from being heard in the context of their lupine themes. Finally, Jon Spencer’s mannered vocals find the apocalyptic tales they’ve been crying out for. He’s joined on the journey with a backseat role for Elliott Smith on Tore Up And Broke. In Hold On, Dr John puts in his obligatory cameo, his mumbo jumbo schtick appearing somewhat more genuine than usual, while Funkadelic’s Bernie Worrell drags Over and Over into a particularly funky gutter. High points are the midway tracks Down In The Beast and Shakin’ Rock ‘N’ Roll which kinda sound like a fantasy night out with Tom Waits, Dylan and Chuck E Weiss. There’s only so many times you can riff out while repeatedly calling your own name out and not be found out as crying wolf. Well, now the wolf’s at the door. Hear him roar! Can’t believe I’ve toe-tappers (A Peak You Reach) for the filed that, but you should be equally seduced. restless listeners out there. Nick McDonald I really think this ‘soundtrack’ should be
REQ Sketchbook (Warp)
ALTHOUGH FAMED for being innovative and dynamic, Warp records is not the first place that you would expect to find beat junkie Req after his previous two albums on Skint during it’s “big beat and proud” years. But listening to the often minimal and beat driven productions on offer here, it makes more sense than you’d think. Almost completely home-produced, the album has a very rough and ready texture rather than the slick studio sounds that most electronic music receives. The album has the organic, slightly rural feel of Four Tet and on tracks like Seek and Java Bytes almost captures his gentle, addictive style. On other tracks such as opener Loop Bass and Dolby C the tracks get repetitive very quickly and will have you reaching for the remote. Some excellent ideas, some very good beats but let down overall by being just too sketchy. Andy Parsons
ANTHONY PAPPA Resolution (React)
PROMISING NOTHING, this double CD compilation arrived at music’s cheesy feet. With tunes entitled Electro-pop, Relax, Hollow and The Stand, Mr Pappa isn’t doesn’t give much away. In reality, the mix of beats, breaks and samples proves refreshingly eclectic. Morphing from side-trance to deep house, with occasional nuances of electro and breakbeat, we’re presented with a veritable plethora of cunningly manipulated beats. This is not intended for “the kidz,” ravers, or XR3-drivers, hence the omission of complimentary glosticks. Instead, this will be embraced by the more discerning dance-muso whose passions lie beyond the reach of Radio 1’s mix selector, maybe. Andrew Davidson
BADLY DRAWN BOY About A Boy OST (Twisted Nerve / XL)
THE BLUETONES: you still here?
SO MR Gough has decided to take an unusual route and follow up his fantastic debut Hour of the Bewilderbeast with a specially commisioned soundtrack. Firstly, is the movie any good… WHO GIVES A SHIT! THIS RECORD IS BRILLIANT! Beauty comes from the most bizarre places and in this case it has come from a small hairy Northerner who always wears a wooly hat. Nevertheless, this album teems with beauty. The delicacy of the instrumentals makes you feel like your floating, the gentle, sentimental lyrics create a personal feel matched only by Elliot Smith and there are even a few up beat
treated as an album on it’s own, away from movies, Hugh Grants and Notting fucking Hill; its merits outgrow such extraneous associations, and prove simply that Badly Drawn Boy has the ability to continue the Class A songwriting spree that he set up with his first record. Beautiful. Jamie Grierson
ECHOBRAIN Echobrain
(Chophouse/Surfdog) YOU’D BE inclined to like this album a lot more if you didn’t read its orgasmically hyperbolic press. But then I really should have learnt by now to listen to the music first. Echobrain is of note since it’s a collaboration between two young pups and Metallica’s Jason Newstead but don’t let that put you off. Actually, it’s not bad. Even though they’re asking for it when the album notes present a review of their first and only live performance which ranks it alongside those of Nirvana, Green Day and Smashing Pumpkins. With a straight face. In reality, it’s surprisingly Lennon influenced (in case there’s still any doubt, the hidden track at the end is a straight midperiod Beatles pastiche), with an accompanying mish mash of various American rock influences. Echobrain’s much vaunted funk element, courtesy of drummer Sagrafena remains fairly undetectable, though Dylan Donkin’s vocals do stretch across a fair range, like it says on the tin. He even has a crack at Thom Yorke on Keep Me Alive and We Are Ghosts. But like Yorke, Echobrain are perhaps guilty of taking themselves a little too seriously here – the material doesn’t really deserve it. Still, Echobrain is a good deal better than just something for Metallica completists. Even if they will all download it from the Web. Nick McDonald
THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN Calculating Infinity (Relapse Records)
THIS ALBUM, recorded in 1999, is seeing daylight now thanks to The Dillinger Escape Plan’s recent tour with System Of A Down. Hearing it, there’s no wonder it took so long to find a UK release. It’s hard to describe this CD without giving the impression of it being a misunderstood masterpiece. TDEP play hi-concept, hi-speed thrash metal with complex time signature changes every few bars, Yngie Malsteem-style fretwanking and Slipknot vocals all over everything. It is predictably horrible and relentless. While bands like System, Tool or Fantomas throw sophistication at the metal genre, they all have the self-awareness and humour to carry it off without sounding like pretentious wankers. Mat Croft
She’s electric ELECTRELANE/ SAMMO HUNG Barfly
they also have hearts, lungs, livers etc. That’s obvious really.) Constructing instrumentals through the layering of riffs, chords and 4/4 beats, a plethora of tunes varying in orientation stream forth from four selfconscious young’uns. One moment its laid back, verging on the Beta Band area of indie... then behold! Out streams a veritable cacophony the likes of which most punksters only dream of. Here lies post-rock, my dears. Its all about image, apparently. So that explains the makeup and the efforts made to keep fringes in place. Oh and the explicit uniform, (black trousers, shirts and ties) – rock bands never had that before. There aren’t even any discernible lyrics. Sophisticated opinion has it that they don’t need lyrics, more audience detraction and a flair for revolutionary discord, or something? Andrew Davidson
AH HA – for the element of surprise...As three members of music desk stood, arms folded and waiting to be impressed, they were thrown from their cynical feet by the sonic boom of Sammo Hung’s first power chord. With drum and bass heads for bassist and drummer, the rhythm section was powerful, tight and machined to the truest of true. Impossible to compare to any others currently/ previously on the scene, inaudible lyrics are juxtaposed with organic guitar riffs, artistic bass lines and equally creative drum breaks leaving no room for yawning. Catch them in Bristol and London before regretting you didn’t. Next, the all-girl four piece takes to stage with an organ. Of the musical variety. (Clearly
THE ROCK OF TRAVOLTA Clwb Ifor Bach
SIX BY SEVEN/ BRITISH SEA POWER Barfly
FACT: OXFORD post-rockers know the importance of a great band name, and have accordingly spawned possibly the best two around. It helps, of course, that both Meanwhile, Back In Communist Russia... and The Rock Of Travolta are rather brilliant exponents of cerebral, dynamic and emotional music, and that this is wonderfully illustrated tonight by the latter. It starts with a pounding techno beat of immense gravitational pull, drawing the crowd unbidden to the stage. Then the guitars are detonated, controlled precision battling with a fierce intensity. It ís post-rock on a night out in Fabric, or hard house discovering guitars – big guitars. Frankly, it sounds like Mogwai remixed by Lisa Lashes. The big beats don’t hang around, of course, and TROT soon settle into more traditional post-rock territory (inasmuch as such a thing exists). Throughout their set, though, is a sense of sheer exhilaration: melodies crash into each other and veer off at ear-splitting tangents in a manner which is simply, viscerally, thrillingly alive. One of the songs is titled Fireworks (Exploding Out Of Yer Head), and that is exactly what it feels like.The comparisons to Meanwhile, Back In Communist Russia... are there for all to hear – from the stuttering electronic rhythms to the eruptions of screeching feedback – but in place of MBICR’s bleak melancholy is an intoxicating vigour. Commendable rock’n’roll spirit, too, with gratuitous nudity, even more gratuitous midsong swapping of instruments and a worrying abundance of Star Wars imagery all playing their part. And, although TROT’s dark side is not to be denied – Clique’s malevolent cello, for instance – it’s this which sets them apart from other post-rockers. Mixing studied cool with exuberant sound, The Rock Of Travolta put the ‘rock’ into post-rock in more ways than one. Alex Macpherson
A PLASTIC heron leers across stage at a stuffed owl perched among a thicket of dead branches, between them a pair of erect antlers protrude from a bass drum. This of course is Brighton’s tuneful art-rockers British Sea Power, a band who lug around and assemble a small forest on each of their gigs. A little apprehensive about a lack of audience, BSP stoned imp frontman Yan slurs something incomprehensible and draws another nicotine hit. The man is off his tits, dilated pupils eyeballing every audience member (who assemble just in time) throughout disarmingly melodic opener Fear Of Drowning. By the second number, with descending chorus and a riff so sweet you want to lick the guitar, we’re sold. Shoes are cast off for Albatise (whatever the hell that means), a touchingly calm number that sets up for a frantic bass-plucking manic instrumental barnstormer. Soon enough BSP decide that they’re not acting weirdly enough. Bassist Hamilton waddles like a deranged duck then wails into the mic, Yan jogs on the spot and during the stunning cosmic final mindfuck, guitarist Noble mounts his amp (perilously without shoes), hurls the plastic heron to the ground and begins to batter bobbed beanpole drummer Wood’s cymbals with a huge branch, before dropping it straight into the face of the unsuspecting beatkeeper. During which the stoner bassist frog-hops around the stage, axe overhead to the cymbal thrash. All three freeze like four catatonic mentalists and its over. Wicked. Oh yeah, and Six By Seven played some atmospheric speed-Britpop that your Dad
DAVID DAVID Barfly FOUR MEN take to the Barfly’s humble stage. A skinny man begins to strum a guitar and opens his mouth... and out comes Jeff Buckley’s powerful falsetto. “Aaargh!” screams every music writer in Britain, “Not another Jeff copyist!” Then, as the bass begins to rumble in a schizoid time signature over Cuban drumbeats, the music journos yelp in relief as David David’s true nature is revealed. Singer/guitarist Mark Lord’s awesome voice is applied to such wide-ranging music that he evades the initial comparisons. Indie rock takes equal footing with not only Cuban drum and bass patterns, but also loose jazziness, stinging blues solos, insane polka and anything else they can think of. Currently finishing off a new album for release on their own label, David David are a band we can look forward to hearing a lot more from. Mat Croft
listens to on tape in his Mondeo. “That’s for the Queen fucking Mother...I fucked her two weeks before she died” hulking guitar ogre Chris Olley informs us, partly explaining why they’ve been away for so long. Not bad, but they didn’t have a stuffed owl, did they? Jamie Fullerton
THE BELLRAYS/ BEACHBUGGY Barfly
PIC: Jamie Fullerton
PIC: Jamie Fullerton
10
exploit her ability across the range, and The Bellrays manage to become an experience rather than just another live band. There may not be anything much new about their sound, but then there is something justifiable in it. Meet The Bellrays? You’ll feel you already have. Gemma Curtis
WILL HAVEN Coal Exchange
TWO DRUMMERS, the whole band dressed in white boiler suits and thus the numerous jokes about ice-cream sellers, Beachbuggy could easily be labelled somewhat of a novelty outfit. That is, if only their music wasn’t so decent and the set not so resoundingly enjoyable. Taking a heartful of The Pixies, the Poptones signings deliver brazen high-octane melodica, complimentary to the humour and near flippancy in their deliverance. Quite the opposite, label-mates The Bellrays take the job somewhat more seriously. Fronted by the imposing figure of frontwoman Lisa Kekaula, her confrontational stature and dismissal of any acknowledgement of the crowd only embellishes the highly electrified mood. ‘Performing’ seems to be the requirement of the day, and when a scuffle breaks out between the members and an over-zealous fan, it even has something of a staged feel. Whatever the truth or reasoning behind the ensemble’s behaviour, live the four-piece produces the kind of music meant to excite. At which they don’t disappoint. Largely a derivative sound, Led Zepplin with a stranglehold over MC5, the four-piece relentlessly charge through a set featuring material from forthcoming debut albums Meet The Bellrays. Maximum rhythm and blues, dirty great guitar solo’s and drum exhibitionism, Kekaula’s deep, soulful, fifty-fags-a-day vocals
IT’S A shame that the Coal Exchange is only half full tonight, when trash like Slipknot can fill the CIA. Still, this doesn’t stop Will Haven from playing a blinding show. First though, we have the not so good support bands. Taint open the show and sound like Helmet without the sense of melody or rhythm that made Helmet legends and as a result, aren’t very good. 3rd Strike come on next, and play generic New York Hardcore. Just when you think their set can’t get worse, they play an appalling hardcore cover of Paranoid by Black Sabbath, complete with chest beating chorus. British act Defenestration are slightly better, but the fact remains that they are a fairly unremarkable metal band, who are only popular because they are fronted by a woman. Will Haven burst straight into Carpe Diem which sees the band impressively headbanging to its crushing riff with an energy only a select few bands have. The set is amazing and even though they mess up the intro to Fresno, its off-beat rhythms are still enthralling. There is frantic slam-dancing throughout, especially in set highlight If She Could Speak and as a climatic Foreign Film ends in a wall of feedback, Will Haven leave the stage having shown that there’s more to metal in 2002 than bad rapping and masks. Owain Cooke
Femme Incrediblé THEA GILMORE The Toucan Club JUST FOUR months have elapsed since Thea Gilmore’s last appearance in this city, but word of her talent has clearly spread. Gilmore’s aim is to build her audience the old-fashioned way: avoiding major labels like the plague and touring relentlessly, and judging from her exponentially increasing following, it ís paying off. Work ethic means nothing, however, without good music, and it is the latter at which Gilmore truly excels. She ís accompanied by just two acoustic guitars, but her terrain is as far away from that of the stereotypically timid folkstress as it ís possible to get. Songs such as Fever Beats and the forthright, rhythmic Apparition No 12, coruscatingly furious indictments of a soulless, dumbeddown society, are infused with the undiluted spirit of punk rock. Anger never
gives way to hysteria, though. Gilmore’s lyrics are measured, coherent and darkly comic, combining Tom Waits-esque imagery and post-modern put-downs with ease: “I lipsticked fuck you on the mirror as a mark of my respect”, she croons sweetly on The Things We Never Said. It ís this fiery independence which makes Gilmore’s moments of vulnerability all the more effective; Holding Your Hand, for instance, is spare, still and infinitely gentle. “It ís not my job to be sentimental” she declares on December In New York, though, and she proves as equally adept at dissecting the complexities and contrasts of emotion as at delivering social critique. “I am standing here amidst politics and tears and I am shouting loudly, she near-whispers”; it ís a line which could be used to sum Gilmore up, were it not for the impossibility of capturing her remarkable talent in one line. Alex Macpherson
Thea Gilmore: singing, not sleeping – honest
PIC: Gemma Hampson
musiclive
FRAN HEALY: He’s got fine facial hair
11
The visible band
PIC: Katie Brunt
TRAVIS/ DOVES CIA
THE COOPER TEMPLE CLAUSE/ HALO/ SAHARA HOTNIGHTS Solus GET YOUR act together! Sahara Hotnights throw down an admirably confrontational gauntlet, shrieking their way through a nonstop barrage of frenetic punk anthems with a rare passion. Comparisons have been made with fellow Swedish exports The Hives, but there is a tougher, more dangerous edge to Maria Andersson and her band. Lipsticked and mini-skirted, Andersson rips chords from her guitar with the fury of a madwoman. Unhampered by the hype surrounding their compatriots, Sahara Hotnights merely do what they do best, which is rock like bitches. It ís an attitude Halo could do with more of. They attempt to physically pummel the audience into submission with thudding drums and lumpen guitar, but forget to add anything remotely memorable to the mix. They attempt to match Muse in bombast, but lack the charisma, the pretension and, ultimately, the tunes. The occasional moments of subtlety serve only to highlight their inadequacies rather embarrassingly. Blandly, miserably mediocre, Halo are nothing more than the Dido of rock bands. ‘Bland’ is an adjective which could never be used in relation to The Cooper Temple Clause. Grandiose and monolithic, the scope of their music is astonishing: there’s the bonejuddering bass of stalking mantra Film Maker, the line ‘a killer key change is all you’ll ever need’ heralding – guess what? – a killer key change in Who Needs Enemies?, the sheer, swirling beauty of Amber. Best of all is Devil Walks In The Sand, a bluesy prowl through the swamps of singer Ben Gautrey's mind, encompassing slabs of thrilling melody and a particularly exquisite shift back into tempo. Gautrey himself makes a particularly fine frontman, being in possession of both a jawdroppingly magnificent voice, ripped raw and bleeding from his throat, and jaw-droppingly sexy cheekbones. Shorn of the over-production which mars their LP, TCTC sound natural and instinctive in a live setting, at once detached and possessed. Without doubt the best of the current crop of British guitar bands – and, oddly, the most commercially successful – it seems that their ambitious, epic rock (and Gautrey’s cheekbones) will be treats for some time. Excellent. Alex Mcpherson
MILD MAN Barfly THE HEART and soul of what Mild Man are about, and have always been about, has not changed. For them, it’s about creating an exciting sound that gives the audience a great show, and this was put into practice ten fold in
AFTER QUEUING for a relatively modest two hours, the doors of the CIA swung open, allowing thousands of eager, wellbehaved and respectably attired individuals to enjoy an evening of Fran, Dougie, Andy and Neil – aka Travis. After over an hour on our arses the lights went down and the support act Doves sauntered onto the stage. Jimi, the lead singer, looking marvellous in a scruffy black jacket and jeans, launched straight into the evening’s set. From the bittersweet blues of Lost Souls and the sublime Here It Comes, to the fervently awaited new material such as New York and Satellites, Doves sounded wonderful. Unfortunately a large majority of the audience seemed ignorant of their material, leaving the band somewhat perturbed and Jimi even gave up on the last song to bid farewell. Just goes to show really, the only thing this crowd has their live set at Barfly. Mild Man captures a surf-punk quality perfectly with their catchy tunes, funky base lines, faultless guitar solos and vocal ability that could knock the socks of Pavarotti. The band, made up of young, talented musos from every corner of the UK (well, almost), merge together to produce an exquisite tightness, showing off their fantastic blend of Brit-Pop and surf-side splendour, all with the commercial capability of stadium filling rock Gods. Their energy on stage is immense and is mimicked by the audience, many of whom appear to be dedicated fans that sing word perfectly to almost every number. In a set comprising of almost all originals, Mild Man’s songs have a great melodic quality that incorporates the best of each instrument, with room for experiment on studio recordings. The simplistic arrangements prove to be extremely effective in providing an ear kissing tune, and the more complex sections that show off the musicians true talents put this band worlds away from the US poppy funk shown all to often on the telly. A sound that differs from song to song
come to see is those handsome Scots, the good-boys of rock, Travis. And yes, as the four men poked their little heads around the stage door, the audience went crazy as if their favourite band had just arrived. Oh yeah, right, they had. Sing came first with Andy plucking away enthusiastically at the old banjo. To follow was Good Feeling, an excellent track from the debut album of the same name. The set-list was well chosen, including gems such as The Fear and As You Are from The Man Who, the latter of which contains a wonderful guitar solo from the normally overlooked Andy. The band never goes to extremes with its backdrop or stage effects, just a few cracked oil screens and silhouetted images of female divers in the background to Driftwood (less dodgy than it sounds.) During Slide Show, a white sheet was pulled up to conceal the band and cute pictures from their youth were displayed, including one of Fran’s bum, which was nice. Fran chatted to the
make Mild Man more than just funky pop. Musical styles are montaged from a variety of times and places resulting in a sound that will be pleasing to almost everyone – from 60s country folk lovers, 80s rocking air-guitarists, and modern day summery surfers. They have taken a sound that was top of the charts five years ago with bands such as Reef and Ocean Colour Scene, and have revitalised it with fresh harmony, melody and style. Mild Man could get signed at the drop of a pint if all stays well and with a little recording behind them, a single could even be on the cards. Definitely one to look out for. Gemma Hampson
LIVE MUSIC SOCIETY Jumping Jacks The audience at Jumping Jacks witnessed, according to the band themselves, The Kennedy Sundays finest hour, or minutes. Their mixture of solid covers, sprinkled with originals, led to Society secretary Dave Gibson eloquent declaration that “they were
audience about being at the Pop Factory earlier in the day, and how his unusually salty sweat was possibly due to the bacon roll they had had in the pub. He then asked the audience if anyone had ever played Gran Turismo III on the Play Station 2 – obviously we all had (yeah right) but one lucky girl got lifted over the rails, given the controls and played the game for us all to see during Coming Around. Quite possibly the best performance of the night was that of Dougie who did a surprise rendition of Rocket Man by Elton John. His voice was amazing and the crowd was visibly stunned. The thing about the Travis crew is that they are just so nice, there’s no other word for it. Creating warmth and vitality in that grandiose arena can’t be easy but Travis managed it. There were no awesome light displays, pyrotechnics or instrument smashing – just four blokes who wanted to sing some songs. And sing they did. Katie Brunt
good”. Next up were the Alex’ who were French, sang in French, played covers in French, and used the kazoo, presumably Gaelically. Their slightly surreal rock was followed by Rob Chapman, wearing a cheeky grin not unlike a schoolboy in church, whilst awkwardly manouvering through a set which climaxed with a splendid rendition of Romeo and Juliet. Things improved further as the voice of Sarah Guy reduced the frankly disrespectful audience to something like quiet. Clean as a whistle, vulnerable as an upturned beetle, her brave but delicate songs were fleshed out well by the accompanying bassist. Thus the true find of the evening arrived. Nic D sounds as if she’s had a long soak in the bath of heartache and emerged with a voice that could make rocks weep. Battered, but forceful, her determined solemnity entranced the audience. Anthony O’ Loughlan brought things to a confident and tuneful, if a little soulless close. He cruised through his set on emotional autopilot until a rousing cover of Like A Prayer ended the night in unexpectedly flamboyant style. John Holman
Mclusky do Cardiff MCLUSKY Barfly
MCLUSKY STRIDE on stage to greet a tiny venue already dripping with sweat and anticipation. A ginormous mass of throbbing veins, manic stares and throat decimating vocals, they proceed to tear through a fifty minute barrage of noise, the like of which has not been witnessed in the Barfly since the Parkinsons last visited. Tonight the three piece brave technical difficulties, bassist fainting incidents and bizarre testicle related heckles to bring us the ragged, screeching assault of old favourites like Friends Stoning Friends, Joy and Whiteliberalonwhiteliberalaction, while also exposing a (vaguely) more melodic, slow paced side during newie Alan Is A Cowboy Killer (‘We had crazy fucking times/ Till her visa card expired’). Recent single and grandiose mission statement To Hell With Good Intentions. (My band is better than your band/ we’ve got more songs than a song convention) provokes the
overheated crowd to go even more berserk than previously thought possible, while Boobytrap single Whoyouknow sees Andy Falkous yelping excitedly like some traumatized household pet, and appears to invalidate one audience member’s claim that McLusky need to “play something heavy! The band (who, fact fans, played their fourth ever gig in the Talybont social supporting an Oasis covers band) are still an angry, sprawling, chaotic mess who sound just that bit like the Pixies, but they have a fully formed, individual sound best demonstrated on tracks from Steve Albini produced new album Mclusky Do Dallas. As bassist Jon Chapple quite randomly observes “people always say it’s a small world and then you go somewhere like Germany and realize it’s actually fucking massive.” If they don’t implode under the weight of their own mentalism first, the whole darn thing may soon be at McLusky’s feet. Maria Thomas
MCLUSKY: show off deep throat technique
PICS: Jamie Fullerton
musiclive
FRAN HEALY: He’s got fine facial hair
11
The visible band
PIC: Katie Brunt
TRAVIS/ DOVES CIA
THE COOPER TEMPLE CLAUSE/ HALO/ SAHARA HOTNIGHTS Solus GET YOUR act together! Sahara Hotnights throw down an admirably confrontational gauntlet, shrieking their way through a nonstop barrage of frenetic punk anthems with a rare passion. Comparisons have been made with fellow Swedish exports The Hives, but there is a tougher, more dangerous edge to Maria Andersson and her band. Lipsticked and mini-skirted, Andersson rips chords from her guitar with the fury of a madwoman. Unhampered by the hype surrounding their compatriots, Sahara Hotnights merely do what they do best, which is rock like bitches. It ís an attitude Halo could do with more of. They attempt to physically pummel the audience into submission with thudding drums and lumpen guitar, but forget to add anything remotely memorable to the mix. They attempt to match Muse in bombast, but lack the charisma, the pretension and, ultimately, the tunes. The occasional moments of subtlety serve only to highlight their inadequacies rather embarrassingly. Blandly, miserably mediocre, Halo are nothing more than the Dido of rock bands. ‘Bland’ is an adjective which could never be used in relation to The Cooper Temple Clause. Grandiose and monolithic, the scope of their music is astonishing: there’s the bonejuddering bass of stalking mantra Film Maker, the line ‘a killer key change is all you’ll ever need’ heralding – guess what? – a killer key change in Who Needs Enemies?, the sheer, swirling beauty of Amber. Best of all is Devil Walks In The Sand, a bluesy prowl through the swamps of singer Ben Gautrey's mind, encompassing slabs of thrilling melody and a particularly exquisite shift back into tempo. Gautrey himself makes a particularly fine frontman, being in possession of both a jawdroppingly magnificent voice, ripped raw and bleeding from his throat, and jaw-droppingly sexy cheekbones. Shorn of the over-production which mars their LP, TCTC sound natural and instinctive in a live setting, at once detached and possessed. Without doubt the best of the current crop of British guitar bands – and, oddly, the most commercially successful – it seems that their ambitious, epic rock (and Gautrey’s cheekbones) will be treats for some time. Excellent. Alex Mcpherson
MILD MAN Barfly THE HEART and soul of what Mild Man are about, and have always been about, has not changed. For them, it’s about creating an exciting sound that gives the audience a great show, and this was put into practice ten fold in
AFTER QUEUING for a relatively modest two hours, the doors of the CIA swung open, allowing thousands of eager, wellbehaved and respectably attired individuals to enjoy an evening of Fran, Dougie, Andy and Neil – aka Travis. After over an hour on our arses the lights went down and the support act Doves sauntered onto the stage. Jimi, the lead singer, looking marvellous in a scruffy black jacket and jeans, launched straight into the evening’s set. From the bittersweet blues of Lost Souls and the sublime Here It Comes, to the fervently awaited new material such as New York and Satellites, Doves sounded wonderful. Unfortunately a large majority of the audience seemed ignorant of their material, leaving the band somewhat perturbed and Jimi even gave up on the last song to bid farewell. Just goes to show really, the only thing this crowd has their live set at Barfly. Mild Man captures a surf-punk quality perfectly with their catchy tunes, funky base lines, faultless guitar solos and vocal ability that could knock the socks of Pavarotti. The band, made up of young, talented musos from every corner of the UK (well, almost), merge together to produce an exquisite tightness, showing off their fantastic blend of Brit-Pop and surf-side splendour, all with the commercial capability of stadium filling rock Gods. Their energy on stage is immense and is mimicked by the audience, many of whom appear to be dedicated fans that sing word perfectly to almost every number. In a set comprising of almost all originals, Mild Man’s songs have a great melodic quality that incorporates the best of each instrument, with room for experiment on studio recordings. The simplistic arrangements prove to be extremely effective in providing an ear kissing tune, and the more complex sections that show off the musicians true talents put this band worlds away from the US poppy funk shown all to often on the telly. A sound that differs from song to song
come to see is those handsome Scots, the good-boys of rock, Travis. And yes, as the four men poked their little heads around the stage door, the audience went crazy as if their favourite band had just arrived. Oh yeah, right, they had. Sing came first with Andy plucking away enthusiastically at the old banjo. To follow was Good Feeling, an excellent track from the debut album of the same name. The set-list was well chosen, including gems such as The Fear and As You Are from The Man Who, the latter of which contains a wonderful guitar solo from the normally overlooked Andy. The band never goes to extremes with its backdrop or stage effects, just a few cracked oil screens and silhouetted images of female divers in the background to Driftwood (less dodgy than it sounds.) During Slide Show, a white sheet was pulled up to conceal the band and cute pictures from their youth were displayed, including one of Fran’s bum, which was nice. Fran chatted to the
make Mild Man more than just funky pop. Musical styles are montaged from a variety of times and places resulting in a sound that will be pleasing to almost everyone – from 60s country folk lovers, 80s rocking air-guitarists, and modern day summery surfers. They have taken a sound that was top of the charts five years ago with bands such as Reef and Ocean Colour Scene, and have revitalised it with fresh harmony, melody and style. Mild Man could get signed at the drop of a pint if all stays well and with a little recording behind them, a single could even be on the cards. Definitely one to look out for. Gemma Hampson
LIVE MUSIC SOCIETY Jumping Jacks The audience at Jumping Jacks witnessed, according to the band themselves, The Kennedy Sundays finest hour, or minutes. Their mixture of solid covers, sprinkled with originals, led to Society secretary Dave Gibson eloquent declaration that “they were
audience about being at the Pop Factory earlier in the day, and how his unusually salty sweat was possibly due to the bacon roll they had had in the pub. He then asked the audience if anyone had ever played Gran Turismo III on the Play Station 2 – obviously we all had (yeah right) but one lucky girl got lifted over the rails, given the controls and played the game for us all to see during Coming Around. Quite possibly the best performance of the night was that of Dougie who did a surprise rendition of Rocket Man by Elton John. His voice was amazing and the crowd was visibly stunned. The thing about the Travis crew is that they are just so nice, there’s no other word for it. Creating warmth and vitality in that grandiose arena can’t be easy but Travis managed it. There were no awesome light displays, pyrotechnics or instrument smashing – just four blokes who wanted to sing some songs. And sing they did. Katie Brunt
good”. Next up were the Alex’ who were French, sang in French, played covers in French, and used the kazoo, presumably Gaelically. Their slightly surreal rock was followed by Rob Chapman, wearing a cheeky grin not unlike a schoolboy in church, whilst awkwardly manouvering through a set which climaxed with a splendid rendition of Romeo and Juliet. Things improved further as the voice of Sarah Guy reduced the frankly disrespectful audience to something like quiet. Clean as a whistle, vulnerable as an upturned beetle, her brave but delicate songs were fleshed out well by the accompanying bassist. Thus the true find of the evening arrived. Nic D sounds as if she’s had a long soak in the bath of heartache and emerged with a voice that could make rocks weep. Battered, but forceful, her determined solemnity entranced the audience. Anthony O’ Loughlan brought things to a confident and tuneful, if a little soulless close. He cruised through his set on emotional autopilot until a rousing cover of Like A Prayer ended the night in unexpectedly flamboyant style. John Holman
Mclusky do Cardiff MCLUSKY Barfly
MCLUSKY STRIDE on stage to greet a tiny venue already dripping with sweat and anticipation. A ginormous mass of throbbing veins, manic stares and throat decimating vocals, they proceed to tear through a fifty minute barrage of noise, the like of which has not been witnessed in the Barfly since the Parkinsons last visited. Tonight the three piece brave technical difficulties, bassist fainting incidents and bizarre testicle related heckles to bring us the ragged, screeching assault of old favourites like Friends Stoning Friends, Joy and Whiteliberalonwhiteliberalaction, while also exposing a (vaguely) more melodic, slow paced side during newie Alan Is A Cowboy Killer (‘We had crazy fucking times/ Till her visa card expired’). Recent single and grandiose mission statement To Hell With Good Intentions. (My band is better than your band/ we’ve got more songs than a song convention) provokes the
overheated crowd to go even more berserk than previously thought possible, while Boobytrap single Whoyouknow sees Andy Falkous yelping excitedly like some traumatized household pet, and appears to invalidate one audience member’s claim that McLusky need to “play something heavy! The band (who, fact fans, played their fourth ever gig in the Talybont social supporting an Oasis covers band) are still an angry, sprawling, chaotic mess who sound just that bit like the Pixies, but they have a fully formed, individual sound best demonstrated on tracks from Steve Albini produced new album Mclusky Do Dallas. As bassist Jon Chapple quite randomly observes “people always say it’s a small world and then you go somewhere like Germany and realize it’s actually fucking massive.” If they don’t implode under the weight of their own mentalism first, the whole darn thing may soon be at McLusky’s feet. Maria Thomas
MCLUSKY: show off deep throat technique
PICS: Jamie Fullerton
musiclive
Television
13
29 April
Monday HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Trading Up 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 The Enemy Within 12.30 Wipeout 1.00 BBC News 1.30 Regional News 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Doctors 2.40 Diagnosis Murder 3.25 Tweenies Songtime 3.45 CBBC: Arthur 4.10 50/50 4.35 Kenan and Kel 5.00 Blue Peter Ronan Keating performs live, and Liz Barker is making mobiles to brighten up the dreariest of rooms. Could she brighten up the dreariest of singers while she’s at it, then? 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours
6.00 Open University: A Hard Act to Follow 6.30 Women of Northern Ireland 7.00 CBBC: Driven Crazy 7.25 Histeria 7.45 Really Wild Show 8.15 CBeebies: Brum 8.25 The Story Makers 8.40 Clifford the Big Red Dog 9.00 Teletubbies 9.50 Playdays 10.10 Tweenies 10.50 Magic Key 11.05 Numbertime 11.20 Words and Pictures 11.35 Watch 11.50 Megamaths 12.05 Pathways of Belief: Christianity 12.20 Maths Challenge Quick, eight times seven. No calculators, now. 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Sn**ker Championship
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 This Morning - Transform Your Garden It’s hardly an ideal morning activity, is it? 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 1.10 Shortland Street 1.40 Crossroads 2.10 Heartbeat 3.10 ITV News Headlines 3.15 HTV News and Weather 3.20 Tiny Planets 3.25 Maisy 3.30 Preston Pig 3.45 Butt-Ugly Martians 4.15 Star Street 4.40 Sabrina, the Teenage Witch 5.05 You've Been Framed! 5.30 Crossroads Kate visits Tracey in hospital. Now there’s a riveting storyline if ever there was one.
6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 RI:SE 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Six Experiments That Changed the World 12.30 Planed Plant: Rhacsyn a'r Goeden Hud 12.45 Planed Plant: Sali Mali 12.55 Planed Plant: Ding Dong 1.00 Planed Plant: Twm 1.15 Time Team Special 2.45 Fifteen to One 3.15 Countdown 4.00 Sam Tan 4.10 Na Dderyn 4.20 Hotel Eddie 4.50 Ffeil 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Newyddion 6 6.05 Wedi 6 6.30 Rownd a Rownd 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion 8.00 Taro Naw
6.00 Sunrise 6.30 Beachcomber Bay 6.55 Nosey 7.00 Happy Monsters 7.15 Little Antics 7.20 Mr Men and Little Miss 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Barney 9.00 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.30 HouseBusters 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 T J Hooker 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 It's Your Funeral ‘I don’t believe in funerals’ - Kelis. 2.00 Divine Designs 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.40 FILM: Before He Wakes 5.30 5 News
6.00 BBC News Right then. For any of you devoted enough to email us last week, you’ll be devastated to learn that bad things happened, and the address we gave you was, in fact, inaccurate. Scold us for our cock-ups (fnarr!) at grtvdesk@hotmail.com which I promise is the real one. 6.30 Wales Today 7.00 Holiday on a Shoestring Featuring St Tropez on the cheap, i.e. giving rich widows sexual favours in return for cash. 7.30 4 x 4 Reports 8.00 EastEnders Ian's attempts to impress an old rival have unexpected results. What, like, they actually work? 8.30 The Inspector Lynley Mysteries: Missing Joseph 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News 10.35 Billy Connolly's World Tour of England, Ireland and Wales Hideously unfunny doggerel. No, acting pissed and barking out swearwords do not a good comedian make. 11.05 FILM: Rocky IV ‘Cold War propaganda where all the Russians are big and ugly’ – Steve. That little myth single-handedly overturned by Anna Kournikova, then – see, she has a purpose after all. 12.30 Liquid News 1.05 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 The Simpsons 6.20 Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 6.45 World Sn**ker Championship Jesus, is this still on? How long does it take to complete a damn sn**ker tournament? Apparently we’ve only just got to the quarter-finals. Nooooo... ::buries head in hands:: 8.00 University Challenge Reunited 8.35 Malcolm in the Middle 9.00 World Sn**ker Championship 10.30 Newsnight There’s nothing else on, so you may as well educate yourselves. 11.20 War Stories: War on the Wadi 11.25 Tinsel Town See Preview. 11.55 Despatch Box Andrew Neil presents the political magazine looking at the day's events in Parliament, with full reports and lively discussion. Lively – that’s a nice word, isn’t it? 12.30 BBC Learning Zone: Open University: Ever Wondered? 12.45 Personal Passions 1.00 Ever Wondered who watches this? Or indeed what it is? No, me neither. 1.30 Waiting Their Turn 2.00 Secondary Schools: Maths File 4.00 Languages: Espana Viva 34/Spanish Globo 3-5 5.00 Working in Engineering is extremely inadvisable.
6.00 HTV News 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Zak tries to set up a scam right under Charity's nose. Don’t mess with people called Charity. They’re tougher than they seem. 7.30 Coronation Street Geena accidentally overhears a revealing conversation between Dev and Deirdre. ‘Accidentally’ chuh! That’s what she says. 8.00 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 8.30 Coronation Street 9.00 Young, Posh and Loaded Follows five young people with plenty of cash to flash as they embark on a social whirl of balls, shopping sprees, polo matches and parties. I’m sorry, but apart from the polo matches they don’t seem that abnormal. ITV trying, and failing, to reignite the flames of Class War. 10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.20 When TV Gets Tough 11.20 HTV News and Weather 11.30 The Premiership 12.40 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.05 Wish You Were Here...? 1.30 The People's Vets 1.55 Trisha 2.50 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 3.15 FILM: Naked Fury 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
8.30 Y Busnes Babis 'Ma 9.00 Mae'r Byd yn Grwn 9.30 Sgorio 10.35 The West Wing 11.30 The Truth about Gay Sex 12.30 FILM: Hombre 2.30 Football Italia 4.00 Schools
6.00 Home and Away Jill continues to manipulate Hayley. Fnarr! 6.30 Family Affairs Fern expresses concern for Gemma. What a very surprisingly empathetic plant she is. 7.00 Toyota World of Wildlife: Swarms 7.30 5 News 8.00 5th Gear 8.30 The Most Evil Men and Women in History: Ivan the Terrible 9.00 FILM: Terror in the Mall Oh dear God, Sarah’s just rushed in to make us listen to the song Ant & Dec have done for the World Cup. Ghastly. Now that’s true terror. 10.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 11.45 The Pepsi Chart 11.50 US PGA Golf - Greater Greensboro 12.45 NASCAR Busch Series Motor Racing 1.40 AMA Supercross 3.10 V8 Supercars 4.00 Motorsport Mundial 4.25 Dutch Football: Ajax v Groningen This week, TV Desk loves: Hugh Grant, sunshine, and The Rock Of Travolta. TV Desk hates: Chris Moyles, computers with issues, and Fran Healy’s Travis-ty of a band. And the Stereochronics, who with horribly apt timing have just come on the radio. But not like that, you filthy-minded people.
CH4. As S4C except: 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Eureka! 9.45 Book Box. 10.00 Chez Mimi. 10.15 Sci-Tech in N I. 10.30 Place and People. 10.50 Being Different. 11.00 The Hoobs. 11.25 Handmade. 11.40 Peak Performance 2. 12.00 FILM: Westbound 1.15 My Eden 1.25 Little House on the Prairie 3.15 Pet Rescue 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Friends 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Channel 4 Gospel Singers of the Year: The Finalists 8.00 Junkyard Wars 9.00 Time Team Special 10.35 The Truth about Gay Sex 11.35 FILM: Man Bites Dog See Preview. 1.25 The Other Side: Bad Boy Thing 2.00 FILM: Rentadick 3.35 Zen and the Art of Landscaping Features a ‘wanton housewife’, should you be interested. 4.00 4Learning 4.00 Top!: En francais. 5.40 Planet.com
The Inspector Lynley Mysteries BBC1 8.30pm
Tinsel Town BBC2 11.25pm
When TV gets Tough ITV1 10.20pm
Man Bites Dog C4 11.35pm
CHOICE Tinsel Town BBC2, 11.25pm If only for the presence of the best-looking boy to currently grace our TV screens – David Paisley, who plays uni dropout Ryan and his cheekbones, you should watch this. But it’s still a fairly high quality drama
– imagine a less sophisticated, ‘grittier’ This Life transplanted to Glasgow, based around a particularly garish club, and with lots more drugs – but retaining the ace soundtrack and using it cleverly: last week, Muse’s ‘Feeling Good’ dubbed over scenes of a pissed-as-a-newt, just-been-stood-up man staggering home and collapsing unconscious amid hints of schizophrenia, while his lady gets, ahem, closer to a work colleague during overtime.
FILM: Man Bites Dog Channel 4, 11.35pm TV Desk hasn’t seen this film and knows shit about it, but is very taken with its plot, wherein a film crew who decide to make a documentary about a charming serial killer end up helping and encouraging him with his murders. Sounds pretty awesome, in a Natural Born Killers-meets-arthouse flick sorta way.
Monday 29th April
Evening
BBC 2
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
STAYING IN TONIGHT? Call for the latest student deals
(029) 2022 9977
62 CRWYS ROAD, CARDIFF
Television
30 April
Tuesday BBC 2
HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
Daytime
6.00 Open University6.30 Pacific Studies7.00 Chuck Finn 7.25 Histeria 7.45 Blue Peter 8.15 Binka 8.25 The Story Makers 8.40 Clifford the Big Red Dog 9.00 Teletubbies 9.50 Playdays 10.10 Tweenies 10.50 Megamaths 11.10 English Express: Grammar and Writing 11.30 Music Makers 11.50 Landmark Shorts 12.00 The Miracle Maker 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Snooker Championship 2.40 Assembly Live 3.20 BBC News 3.30 World Snooker Championship
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 Transform Your Garden 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News 1.10 Shortland Street 1.40 Crossroads 2.10 Heartbeat 3.10 ITV News 3.15 HTV News 3.20 Tiny Planets 3.25 Maisy 3.30 Preston Pig 3.45 Sitting Ducks 4.15 Mystery 4.35 Weirdsister College 5.05 You've Been Framed! 5.30 Crossroads Jazz and Nicola plan to go to an antivivisection demo. Jazz, what as in Jazzy Jeff, once DJ of Fresh Prick, Will Smith?
6.00 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 RI:SE 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Powerhouse 12.30 Planed Plant: Tweenies 1.00 Planed Plant: Bibi 1.10 Tic Toc 1.15 Pet Rescue 1.45 Junkyard Wars 2.45 Fifteen to One 3.15 Countdown 4.00 Chwedlau'r Byd 4.10 Y Rhagalen Wirion Na 4.50 Ffeil 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Newyddion 6.05 Wedi 6 6.30 04 Wal Series7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion 8.00 Clwb Garddio 8.30 Tipyn O Stad 9.00 The Edwardian Country House
6.00 Sunrise 6.30 Beachcomber Bay 6.55 Nosey 7.00 Happy Monsters 7.15 Little Antics 7.20 Mr Men and Little Miss 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Barney 9.00 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.30 HouseBusters 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 T J Hooker 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 US PGA Golf Greater Greensboro Chrysler Classic 2.20 Open House 3.35 FILM: The Nephew 5.30 5 News
6.00 BBC News 6.30 Wales Today 7.00 Wildlife on One: This week green iguanas. They taste good on toast or summit... 7.30 EastEnders Tension mounts when Jamie realises the truth about Sonia's intentions to enter him in the East London’s annual “Greasy Cockney” awards. He comes second to Dennis Wise. 8.00 Holby City Hospital Liam feels he's on the edge of an abyss. “It’s dis fookin coke, me head’s gone fookin mad”. 9.00 Cutting It New comedy- drama thing with Amanda “famous for shagging Neil Morrisey” Holden. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News 10.35 Diet or Die Death or Salad is what I would have called it. About big lardos with health probs.. 11.35 FILM: Village of the Damned Classic John Carpenter horror. 1.10 The Costa Nurses 2.10 Food Junkies 3.10 Sign Zone: See Hear on Saturday 3.55 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 The Simpsons 6.20 TOTP2 Artists include Petula Clark, the Rezillos, the Stylistics, Sly and Robbie, Don Henley and Trisha Yearwood. Useless Info desk: Don Henley once bought a tank off the Super Furry Animals. Tis true.... 6.45 World Snooker Championship 8.00 Country House As the peace and tranquility of the estate is threatened by a proposed new link road, local people are preparing themselves for a big campaign. New road? Locals? Edward? Tubbs? 8.30 The Best Cookery series. No! Not another. The world needs teachers and doctors not cooks. We have microwaves! 9.00 World Snooker 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 War Stories Hilda, who married just a year before the war, went with her husband to his postings in Liverpool and Dorset. Poor bastard. 11.25 World Snooker 12.05 Despatch Box 12.30 BBC Learning Zone 1.00 Blue Haven 1.30 Open Advice 2.00 Secondary Schools 4.00 Languages
6.00 HTV News 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Turner finds himself lumbered with an unwelcome guest when he discovers a large tapeworm in his colon. Sorry. 7.30 UEFA Champions League Bayer Leverkusen v Manchester United Laurent Blanc’s a plank, Laurent Blanc’s a plank, everyone but Fergie knows, Laurent Blanc’s a plank. To the tune of she’ll be Coming Round the Mountain. 9.45 It Shouldn't Happen to a Referee Yeah but they’re all blind from masturbating too much. Especially David Ellery. Sue me. 10.45 ITV News 11.05 HTV News 11.15 Top Sport So unbelievably upset at Bristol Ciy’s end of season capitulation. I’m weeping into my keyboard. No really. 11.45 Love Hurts Documentary series investigating the truth about domestic abuse. Mmm.. Slightly queasy title then. 12.15 F1 2.55 World Sport 3.20 Box Office America 3.45 ITV Sport Classics 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
10.00 Joined at Birth 11.35 Undercover Cops 12.35 FILM: Moonstruck 2.25 FILM: A Lawless Street 4.00 Schools
6.00 Home and Away Colleen is working to rule in the diner by introducing a Stalinesque “5 year plan”. Those who oppose, to the Gulag with you! 6.30 Family Affairs 7.00 5th Gear Including a look at the new Ford Wanker Carrier. 7.30 5 News 8.00 Post Mortem The series reveals how a tiny fragment of paint on a girl's body helped to convict a taxi driver of murder. 8.30 Arrest and Trial: Documentary series looking at how US police have solved some of their most complex crimes. The OJ Simpson probably won’t get mentioned. 9.00 FILM: True Crime The story of an investigative reporter who gets an unusual assignment – the final interview with a condemned murderer. Whooo... 11.25 Amputee Admirers Documentary which joins a weekend social get-together of amputees. Glenn Hoddle offers his radical views. 12.25 La Femme Nikita 1.15 NFL Europe 1.40 NHL Ice Hockey Live 4.00 NHL Ice Hockey Replay
CH4. As S4C except: 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Eureka! 9.45 Stop, Look, Listen. 10.00 Hennings Haus. 10.15 Pressure Points. 10.30 Geog. Eye. 10.50 Number Crew. 11.00 The Hoobs. 11.25 First Edition. 11.40 Science in Focus. 12.30 Cheers 1.35 FILM: Texas 3.15 Pet Rescue 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Friends 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Channel 4 Gospel Singers of the Year 8.00 The Tower 9.00 The Edwardian Country House 10.00 Football's Fight Club 11.05 At Home 12.05 Teachers 1.10 The Other Side 1.40 Football Italia: Mezzanotte 3.30 Powerhouse Political 3.50 R Mertonensis 4.00 4Learning
Wildlife on One BBC1 7.00pm
The Best BBC2 8.30pm
I Saw You ITV1 9.00pm
The Tower C4 8.00pm
CHOICE It Shouldn’t Happen to a Referee BBC2, 9.45 pm My god, is it me or is TV just getter poorer and again still piss-poorer. A recent ITC report slammed ITV for having “piss-poor
repeated format shows”(paraphrased) like Pop Idol and generally turning out shite. A quick look over today’s listings does nothing to refute this. I don’t think this show will be any good at all. In fact I’ll go out of my way to avoid it. This just gives me an excuse to slag off David Ellery whom I hate. Yes, I admit it’s a hard job, but you don’t have to act like Hitler
Tuedsay 30th April
Evening
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 10.40 The Queen's Jubilee Address 12.00 The Enemy Within 12.30 Wipeout 1.00 News 1.30 Regional News 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Doctors 2.40 World Snooker Championship 3.25 Tweenies 3.45 Arthur 4.10 Get Your Own Back 4.35 Big Kids 5.00 SMart 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours Marc and Steph share dreams for the future by indulging in a Vulcan “mind mould”.
Today’s Highlights
BBC 1
14
incarnate and talk to grown men like naughty schoolboys, even if you are a teacher at Harrow in your other job. You git. To be a referee you can’t be obessed with your own image, which Ellery is. He even wrote a book about himself called “My Struggle” or something. A truly despicable man.
Television
15
1 May
Wednesday HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Trading Up 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 The Enemy Within 12.30 Wipeout 1.00 BBC News 1.30 Regional News 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Doctors 2.40 World Snooker Championship and Racing from Ascot 3.25 CBeebies: Tweenies Songtime; Tweenies 3.45 CBBC: Arthur 4.10 UBOS 4.35 Even Stevens 5.00 Blue Peter 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours Marc gives Flick a dressing-down at work. Ooh, I’d love to give Flick a dressing-down. As it were.
6.00 Open University 6.30 Jerk and Jounce 7.00 Ocean Odyssey 7.25 Histeria 7.45 Get Your Own Back 8.15 Bob the Builder 8.25 The Story Makers 8.40 Clifford the Big Red Dog 9.00 Teletubbies 9.50 Playdays 10.10 Tweenies 10.50 It's a Wrap 11.05 Numbertime 11.20 Hit and Miss 11.35 Cats' Eyes 11.50 Hands Up! 12.05 Pod's Mission 12.20 Maths Challenge 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Sn**ker Championship/Racing from Ascot 2.40 Assembly Live 3.50 BBC News 4.00 World Sn**ker Championship and Racing from Ascot
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 This Morning - Transform Your Garden 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 1.10 Shortland Street 1.40 Crossroads 2.10 Heartbeat 3.10 ITV News Headlines 3.15 HTV News and Weather 3.20 Tiny Planets 3.25 Maisy That’s the name of Tricky’s daughter, you know. Well, now you do. 3.30 Preston Pig 3.45 Butt-Ugly Martians 4.15 Star Street 4.40 Sabrina, the Teenage Witch 5.05 You've Been Framed! 5.30 Crossroads Phil ploughs ahead with his expansion plans. Fnarr!
6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 RI:SE 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Powerhouse 12.30 Planed Plant: Caio 12.35 Planed Plant: Caffi Sali Mali 12.55 Planed Plant: Mistar Morgan 1.15 Pet Rescue 1.45 The Tower 2.45 Fifteen to One 3.15 Countdown 4.00 SuperTed 4.10 Y Consuriwr 4.40 Sgorio Bach 4.50 Ffeil 5.00 Richard and Judy Christ just started reading article about Missy Elliott when she came on the radio. Scary. 6.00 Newyddion 6 6.05 Wedi 6 6.30 Rownd a Rownd 7.00 Pobol y Cwm
6.00 Sunrise 6.30 Beachcomber Bay 6.55 Nosey 7.00 Happy Monsters 7.15 Little Antics 7.20 Mr Men and Little Miss 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Barney 9.00 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.30 HouseBusters 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 T J Hooker 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.50 FILM: Abduction of Innocence Surely a bit too prewatershed for a film like this? Think of the kids you’re corrupting, Channel 5!
6.00 BBC News 6.30 Wales Today 7.00 Tomorrow's World 7.30 Celebrity Ready Steady Cook Chefs With `Coronation Street' actors Sherrie Hewson and William Roache - so that’d be using the term ‘celebrity’ in the loosest possible sense. 8.00 Weakest Link 8.50 Jet Set Departure Lounge 9.00 Queen and Country: Servant of the People Examines Queen Elizabeth II's 50 years on the throne. An ironic title, considering that the last people to describe themselves as the servants of the people were New Labour. Anyway, this edition looks at how public attitudes to the monarchy have changed since Lizziebaby became Queen, i.e. charts its gradual slide into complete irrelevance. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News 10.35 There's Only One FA Cup Thank fuck. 11.45 FILM: Voyage 1.15 Sign Zone:Tomorrow's World 1.45 Sign Zone: Holiday on a Shoestring 2.15 Sign Zone: UK's Worst... Rail Operators? 2.45 Sign Zone: Weird Nature 3.15 Sign Zone: The Toughest Job in Britain Being TV Desk, obviously. 3.45 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 The Simpsons 6.20 TOTP2 Artists include the KLF featuring Tammy Wynette, Echo and the Bunnymen, the Jacksons, Louchie Lou and Michie One, Aztec Camera and Hazel O’Connor. Respectively: awesome, awesome, awesome, funnyat-the-time, hideously awful and who? 6.45 World Sn**ker Championship 8.00 Home Front 9.00 World Sn**ker Championship 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 World Sn**ker Championship This isn’t funny anymore. Surely only the most dull, witless specimens of humanity could wish to slump in front of six - count ‘em - hours of sn**ker in any one lifetime, let alone one day? It’s not as if there aren’t better sports around. Christ, speed-ironing would be preferable. 12.00 Despatch Box 12.30 Open University: Driving while Black 1.00 Women and Allegory: Gender and Sculpture in Two Societies 1.30 The Black Triangle 2.00 Secondary Schools: Mathsphere Edits 4.00 Espana Viva 7-8/Spanish Globo 9-10 5.00 Working in Engineering
6.00 HTV News 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Rodney and Turner resort to desperate measures to get rid of Peg. Do those same measures work if we want to get rid of banal, pointless soaps full of yokel mingers? Hope so. 7.30 UEFA Champions League Live: Real Madrid v Barcelona “Real Madrid are run by right-wing cunts and Barcelona are the team of the people” – a fiercely political Sports Desk. 9.45 Survivor 10.45 News at Ten 11.05 Survivor: The Last Word If only. 11.35 HTV News 11.45 Soccer Special 12.45 Coach 1.10 Trisha 2.05 ITV at the Festivals 3.00 ITV Sport Classics 3.25 Judge Judy 3.45 ITV Night-screen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News Did you know that Courtney Love’s been told to prove her sanity in the Nirvana copyright case? She’s a lunatic and will never manage it, but that’s why she’s a rock’n’roll goddess and why TV Desk loves her. And look where Dave Grohl’s revisionist history of Nirvana’s got him – fronting appalling Nirvana-lite bands and shagging – so rumour has it – Christina Aguilera.
7.30 Newyddion 8.00 Gary Bayley - Y Ser Yn Ei Lygaid 8.30 Ffermio 9.00 ER 10.00 Brookside 10.30 Teachers 11.35 Jackass 12.05 The Mark Thomas Product 12.35 Flash 1.35 FILM: Someone Else's Child 3.15 Football Italia
5.30 5 News 6.00 Home and Away 6.30 Family Affairs ::coughs:: What’s this I see – a complete lack of smut in our trusty Channel 5 soaps, upon which we rely to fill space? Very disappointing. TV Desk expects an improved performance tomorrow. 7.00 Toyota World of Wildlife: Communities 7.30 5 News 8.00 FILM: Awakenings No pithy witticisms about this film, because, um, noone can be arsed. Has Robin Williams and Robert de Niro in it though – which tells you nothing, as the latter is a god and the former is a fool. 9.55 5 News Update 10.05 FILM: American Dragons 11.55 NHL Ice Hockey Live 4.00 NHL Ice Hockey Replay Far too much space to fill, so time for some shout-outs. Bex for ringing me just now and alleviating my boredom. Fi and Dave for a great night at Clwb last night. Andrew for stirfry. Ria for reading this in Oxford. Kate for Tori vs Courtney debates. Claire for turning up wherever I am. Someone whose name I don’t know for random flirtation. Thea Gilmore for inspiration. Thank-you and goodnight. 5.00Australian Rules
CH4. As S4C except: 6.00 Animal Alphabet 9.30 Rata-Tat-Tat. 9.50 Number Crew 1. 10.00 Mix. 10.15 All about Us. 10.30 English Programme. 10.50 Number Crew 2. 11.00 Hoobs. 11.25 First Edition. 11.40 Music. 12.30 Cheers 1.00 Montel 1.30 Film Fever 1.40 FILM: Twice Round the Daffodils 3.15 Pet Rescue 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Smallville 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Channel 4 Gospel Singers of the Year: The Finalists 8.00 Brookside 8.30 Selling Houses 9.00 ER 10.00 Teachers 11.05 The Mark Thomas Product 11.35 Ally McBeal 12.30 Strippers 1.00 Wasted: After the Fall 2.00 Death of the Solar Temple 2.55 Murder at Stonehenge 3.50 Poisoned 4.20 Powerhouse 4.45 VeeTV 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Clangers
Weakest Link BBC1 8.00pm
Home Front BBC2 8.00pm
Emmerdale ITV1 7.00pm
ER C4 9.00pm
CHOICE Ally McBeal Channel 4, 11.35pm Latest news is that Fox has decommissioned Ally McBeal in America – apparently to tears from Calista Flockhart – so it looks like waifish lawyers with emotional issues won’t grace us with their
presence for much longer. Which has to be a good thing: it was a series which started well, with its cast of eccentrics and lunatic flights of fancy, but whose fatal flaw – namely, the lead character was the least interesting – has been increasingly exposed in recent times. Although its dubious anti-feminist premise – intelligent, successful heroine is emotional wreck purely because of marital status – was balanced for a while by the superb bitchery
of single girls Ling and Nelle, excellent role models both, the simultaneous sanitising of both and the increasingly, hideously sentimental storylines spelt disaster. The nadir was reached with a gushily American Christmas episode which induced only thoughts of Santa-cide; thereafter, not even Robert Downey Jr could save it. At least it ends with Ally still single, though, permanently etched in our memories as a slightly mopier Bridget Jones.
Wednesday 1st May
Evening
BBC 2
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
STAYING IN TONIGHT? Call for the latest student deals
(029) 2022 9977
62 CRWYS ROAD, CARDIFF
Television
16
2 May
Thursday HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Trading Up 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 The Enemy Within 12.30 Wipeout 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News and Weather 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Doctors 2.40 Diagnosis Murder 3.25 CBeebies: Tweenies Songtime; Tweenies 3.45 CBBC: Arthur 4.10 The Cramp Twins 4.20 There's a Viking in My Bed 4.35 Jackie Chan Adventures 5.00 Short Change 5.35 Neighbours
6.00 Open University: Kedleston Hall 6.30 Picasso's Collages 19121913 7.00 Chuck Finn 7.25 Histeria 7.45 Blue Peter 8.15 Andy Pandy 8.25 The Story Makers 8.40 Clifford the Big Red Dog 9.00 Teletubbies 9.50 Playdays 10.10 Tweenies 10.50 Hotch Potch House 11.10 Look and Read 11.30 Zig Zag 11.50 Landmarks 12.10 Focus - Citizenship 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Lifeline 1.10 World Snooker Championship 2.40 Assembly Live 3.20 BBC News 3.30 World Snooker Championship
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 This Morning Transform Your Garden 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 1.10 Shortland Street 1.40 Crossroads 2.10 Heartbeat 3.10 ITV News Headlines 3.15 HTV News and Weather 3.20 Tiny Planets 3.25 Maisy 3.30 Preston Pig 3.45 Sitting Ducks 4.15 Mystery 4.35 Weirdsister College 5.05 You've Been Framed! 5.30 Crossroads Craaapppp!!!!
6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 RI:SE 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 Ysgolion/Schools 12.00 Powerhouse 12.30 Planed Plant: Sam Tan 12.45 Planed Plant: Sgerbyde 12.50 Planed Plant: Miffi 1.00 Planed Plant: Y Blobs 1.15 Pet Rescue 1.45 Great Estates 2.45 Fifteen to One 3.15 Countdown 4.00 Dogfennau Ebu 4.20 Popty 4.50 Ffeil 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Newyddion 6 6.05 Wedi 6 6.30 Mae'r Byd yn Grwn: Yn Erbyn y Ffactore 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion News. 8.00 Profiad
6.00 Sunrise 6.30 Beachcomber Bay 6.55 Nosey 7.00 Happy Monsters 7.15 Little Antics 7.20 Mr Men and Little Miss 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Barney 9.00 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.30 HouseBusters 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 T J Hooker 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.40 FILM: Gunsmoke II The Last Apache 5.30 5 News
6.00 BBC News News. 6.30 Wales Today 7.00 Animal Hospital 7.30 EastEnders Peggy is horrified to find Sharon living at the Vic again. Sharon uses Peggy’s wig to mop the dishes. 8.00 UK's Worst... Landlords? Including the landlord who seeks to charge his tenants for the use of an outside toilet. Talk about shitting on your own doorstep. Sorry. 8.30 This Is Your Life This week that lovable rogue, Colonel Gaddafi. George Bush Snr. adds his fondest memories. 9.00 MacIntyre Investigates: In this edition, MacIntyre and his team expose a new recreational drug - dubbed `crazy medicine' - which is taking hold in popular British holiday destinations. Hopefully when it gets to these shores they’ll have given it a cooler name. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News and Weather 10.35 The Falklands: The Longest Journey 11.35 Dragon's Eye 1.40 Vote 2002 3.05 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 The Simpsons Apu faces deportation. 6.20 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Will joins a poetry class, but still he fails to pen any decent lyrics in his life. Ever. 6.45 World Snooker 7.30 Reading the Ruins This edition looks at Roman ruins in Wales. Thus proving Welsh nationalism to be flawed. Or any British nationalism, we’re all Scandanavians, French and Italians, you fools. 8.00 Dragon's Eye 8.30 Panic Mechanics Trevor Nelson presents a game show in which two teams compete to transform an everyday car into something extraordinary over two days with a budget of £2,000. What like a monster truck? That would be cool. 9.00 World Snooker Championship 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Rugby Special 12.00 Trading Places 12.30 Learning Zone 1.05 Lab Detectives 1.20 What Have the 60s Ever Done for Us? 1.30 Catching the GoodHealth Train 2.00 Did Tibet Cool the Earth? 2.30 Volcanoes and the Atmosphere
6.00 HTV News 6.30 ITV Evening News 7.00 Emmerdale Gloria pressures Pollard to make the ultimate sacrifice on their wedding night. The ultimate sacrifice would be his life, surely? You’re not saying...oh my god... 7.30 Wales This Week 8.00 The Bill DC Sharpe is thrown in at the deep end on her first day when she quits policing to join Surfers Against Sewage. And swallows a turd. 9.00 Bad Girls Buki is devastated to learn that a child she has become close to in the Mother and Baby Unit is HIV positive. I always find distressing TV more bearable if you whistle the Grange Hill theme tune. 10.00 ITV News at Ten 10.30 Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned 11.00 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 11.30 Night and Day 12.30 Monsters Inc: The British Premiere 1.05 Riders and Rich Kids 1.30 CD:UK 1.55 In Profile - Fun Lovin' Criminals 2.20 Cybernet 2.50 Motorsport UK 3.15 2002 FIFA World Cup 3.40 Tonight with Trevor McDonald.
8.30 Tipyn O Stad 9.00 Selling Houses 9.30 So You Think You Want... Bigger Boobs 10.00 Brookside 10.30 Procar Poeth 11.05 Football's Fight Club 12.05 Strippers 12.35 The Book Group 1.05 Make My Day 1.35 Hypnosex 2.05 FILM: Red Beret
6.00 Home and Away Dani's flirtation with Kane takes a dangerous turn when she drives off a cliff while attempting to give him a handjob. 7.00 The Pepsi Chart 7.30 5 News 8.00 Life Doctor: A focus on 24-year-old Debbie who is bored at work, smokes 30 cigarettes a day and lacks motivation. You and everybody everybody else at GR....sob. 8.30 Stark Naked: This episode looks at British naturists who have left this country and moved to sunnier climes. Why are all naturists the people you least want to see naked? 9.00 FILM: Top of the World A recently released criminal inadvertently becomes involved in a complex scam in which a businessman aims to rob his own casino. Just torch it Frank Butcher style and get the insurance money. 11.00 Sex and Shopping 12.00 Red Shoe Diaries 12.30 Jonathan Pearce's Football Night 1.00 Feyenoord v SC Heerenveen 2.30 Argentinian Football 4.00 US Major League Soccer: New England Revolution v Colombus Crew 5.35 Motorsport Mundial
CHOICE Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned ITV, 10.30pm Still quite funny but still not touch on Fantasy Football League. Read Skinner’s autobiography if you can, though it does make him seem a bit of a weirdo which I
CH4. As S4C except: 9.00 Bewitched 9.30 4Learning 9.50 Number Crew 2. 10.00 Cricket Academy. 10.50 Being Different. 11.00 The Hoobs. 11.25 Handmade 2. 11.35 Handmade 3. 11.40 Peak Performance 12.30 Cheers 1.00 Montel 1.35 Film Fever 1.40 FILM: Man in the Saddle 3.15 Pet Rescue 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Friends 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 Gospel Singers of the Year 8.00 Brookside 8.30 So You Think You Want... 9.00 Hanratty: The Whole Truth 10.35 Friends 11.05 South Park 11.35 The Book Group 12.05 Does Doug Know?12.35 Hypnosex 1.10 The Other Side:
think goes to explain a lot about his humour. He lost his virginity to a prostitute and recounts the event in disturbing detail. Very strange but tragically funny. Sort of. But then he is from Smethick and Baddiel describes him as having “ the kind off head that doesn’t look complete without a flat cap”. MacIntyre Investigates BBC 1, 9.00pm
The last one was quite interesting in slightly moronic type of way. How the football hooligans didn’t suss him when he fainted having a tattoo I don’t know. This one sounds a bit bizarre, I mean ‘crazy medicine’?, surely the most uncool name ever given to a drug. It probably was only designed to numb castration on cows or summit. A chemical world indeed..
MacIntyre Investigates BBC1 9.00pm
World Snooker BBC2 6.45pm
The Bill ITV1 8.00pm
Hanratty: the Whole Truth C4 9.00pm
Thursday 2nd May
Evening
BBC 2
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
STAYING IN TONIGHT? Call for the latest student deals
(029) 2022 9977
62 CRWYS ROAD, CARDIFF
Television
Friday 6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Trading Up 11.30 Bargain Hunt 12.00 The Enemy Within 12.30 Wipeout 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News and Weather 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Doctors 2.40 Diagnosis Murder 3.25 Tweenies 3.45 Arthur 4.10 The Woody Woodpecker Show 4.20 S Club Juniors: The Story 4.35 The Wild Thornberrys 5.00 Really Wild Show 5.25 Newsround 5.35 Neighbours Hullo, still alive after ATP. As you’ve prolly heard, our new email address isGRTVDESK@HOTMAIL. COM
6.00 OU: The Art of Breathing Christ! Can degrees get any easier? 6.30 Food: Whose Choice is it Anyway? 7.00 Ocean Odyssey 7.25 Histeria 7.45 Short Change 8.15 Pablo the Little Red Fox 8.25 The Story Makers 8.40 Clifford the Big Red Dog 9.00 Teletubbies 9.50 Playdays 10.10 Tweenies 10.50 Punch the Clock 11.05 Numbertime 11.20 Words and Pictures 11.35 Watch 11.50 Zig Zag 12.10 Landmarks: Pakistan and Its People 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Snooker Championship And the sweater shop wonder why
6.00 BBC News 6.30 Wales Today 7.00 The Toughest Job in Britain Jeremy Spake gets stuck in with a portable toilet cleaner. Does this programme really exist? It sounds tip top! 7.30 Top of the Pops 8.00 EastEnders No fnarrs, so I shan’t tell you what’s going on. 8.30 The Bench 9.00 Alistair McGowan's Big Impression 9.30 Blackadder II 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News 10.35 The FA Cup Classic A musical extravaganza on the eve of the FA Cup final, with vocalists performing a host of arias, football anthems, and classical themes. I swear to you, I don’t make these things up. 12.10 Have I Got News for You 12.40 FILM: When Saturday Comes Football in films never works, like people dancing in clubs. Players jump out of the way of the star, who dribbles the length of the pitch before shooting like Diana Ross past an absent goalie. And they all play like girls. There, something for you to email in about. 2.20 Joins BBC News 24
they went bust! 6.00 The Simpsons 6.20 Gardeners' World 6.50 Scrum V Live: Neath v Pontypridd 9.00 World Snooker 10.30 Newsnight With Jeremy Vine. 11.00 Newsnight Review Tom Paulin seems to be absent tonight. Prolly strapping bombs to himself and taking a flight to Israel. Ey, Ey, Ey, Ey, Ey, think... KABOOM! 11.35 Later with Jools Holland Featuring music from Elvis Costello, Mary J Blige, the Electric Soft Parade, and Salif Keita. Awesome. Costello, you’re a legend. 12.40 FILM: Zabriskie Point Acclaimed drama directed by Michelangelo Antonioni. A young man, fleeing from accusations that he murdered a policeman during a student riot, steals a plane to make his escape to Death Valley. Soundtrack features Pink Floyd. Recommended by DC for the slow motion explosions at the end representing an attack on the Bourgousie. Nah, I don’t know either. 3.00 BBC Learning Zone: Revisewise Challenge at Home: KS2 Science
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 This Morning - Transform Your Garden 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 1.10 Shortland Street 1.40 Your Century 2.10 Village People 2.40 Get Gardening 3.10 ITV News Headlines 3.15 HTV News and Weather 3.20 Tiny Planets 3.25 Maisy 3.30 Preston Pig 3.45 Butt-Ugly Martians 4.15 Star Street 4.40 Sabrina, the Teenage Witch 5.05 You've Been Framed! 5.30 Catchphrase
6.05 The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 RI:SE 9.00 Bewitched 9.30Ysgolion/ Schools 12.00 Powerhouse 12.30 Planed Plant: Pot Mel 1.00 Planed Plant: Pet Rescue 1.30 Channel 4 at the races from Newmarket 3.30 Fifteen to One 4.00 Uned 5 4.50 Ffeil 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Newyddion 6 News. 6.05 Wedi 6 6.30 Copish 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Newyddion News.8.00 Tic Toc 8.30 Pawb a'i Farn 9.30 Father Ted 10.00 Brookside Steve sets down some house rules for Adele's boyfriend.Keep your snake in its cage! Ron is frightened
6.00 Sunrise 6.30 Beachcomber Bay 6.55 Nosey 7.00 Happy Monsters 7.15 Little Antics 7.20 Mr Men and Little Miss 7.30 Rolie Polie Olie 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Barney 9.00 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 9.30 HouseBusters 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 T J Hooker 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.50 FILM: Dying to Belong 5.30 5 News
6.00 HTV News and Weather 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale 7.30 Coronation Street 8.00 Confessions of... an Estate Agent Nothing to do with smut. Sadly, the only people getting fucked here are the customers. 8.30 Inspector Morse Not worth watching since it isn’t the rave episode. 10.30 Tarrant on TV Oh cruel Tarrant, why do you mock us so? 11.00 ITV Weekend News 11.20 HTV News and Weather 11.30 The Comedy Show . This week, Dave dresses as an owl and visits his friends Gordon’s and Charles. Noel has awesome scenes. Claire sleeps in a wardrobe. Gemma chases bearded men and Louis has a can of beer. That’s right! A can of beer! Cheers guys. I love you all 12.00 Ghost Stories 12.30 Dial-a-Date 1.00 Dare to Believe 1.30 Veronica's Closet 1.55 Box Office America 2.20 In Profile - Toploader 2.45 Mixmasters 3.15 World Football 3.40 Trisha 4.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
out of bed. Fnarr!10.35 Frasier 11.05 South Park 11.35 Does Doug Know? 12.05 Passengers 12.35 FILM: Resurrection Man 2.15 24 Hour Party People The Documentary 3.20 FILM: Bored Olives
6.00 Home and Away 6.30 Family Affairs 7.00 Buildings of the Future: Soft Sell 7.30 5 News 8.00 Where Do We Come From?: Pole to Pole Shurely it’s pole to er...well you get the idea. 9.00 FILM: Moment of Truth - Cradle of Conspiracy No filth. Don’t pretend you want to know anymore. 11.00 FILM: Play Time This however, is much more up your street. 12.55 FILM: Breakthrough Unlikely scheduling for WWII film. 2.30 FILM: Die Laughing Fast-paced comedy about a Californian taxi driver whose life is disrupted when he comes into possession of a chimp with a formula for turning atomic waste into plutonium bombs. He is subsequently framed for murder and hounded by those wanting to get their hands on the formula. This is what it says in the listings! This is awesome! Gates, get the beers in! Just the one can mind... 4.15 Russell Grant's Postcards 4.25 Two 5.10 Sons and Daughters 5.35 Sons and Daughters
HTV
CH4. As S4C except: 6.00 The Magic Roundabout 9.30 4Learning 9.30 Royal Institution Christmas Lecture. 10.20 Spanish Programmes. 10.35 Extra En Espanol. 11.00 The Hoobs. 11.25 Book Box. 11.40 Book Box. 11.55 My Brilliant Career. 12.30 Cheers 1.00 Cheers 3.45 Fifteen to One 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Friends 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Honky Panky 8.00 Tales from the Grave 8.30 Brookside 9.00 Father Ted 9.30 The Book Group 10.00 Frasier 10.35 Does Doug Know? 11.05 Jackass 11.35 Jackass 11.55 Passengers 12.30 FILM: Ed Wood Wearing women’s clothes makes me feel more like a man! Awesome. Watch this. 2.45 Onedottv 3.10 Pump Up the Volume 4.10 Third Watch 4.55 Powerhouse 5.20 Countdown
The FA Cup Classic BBC1 10.35pm
Gardener’s World BBC2 6.20pm
Coronation Street ITV1 7.30pm
Ed Wood C4 12.30am
CHOICE FILM: Ed Wood C4, 12.30 am Bit flimsy just recommending a film, I know but then so’s the schedule. Apart from that film with the monkey with the secret for turning atomic waste into plutonium bombs, obviously. So then, er
Ed Wood. Yeah, watch this, it’s kickin’. Johnny Depp plays the world’s worst film director with a pencil moustache and an angora cardigan. A bit like the world’s worst books editor. Depp’s naive enthusiasm sets the tone, aided and abetted by Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi in a deservedly oscar winning turn. It also won the oscar for best make-up. Beautifully tragi-comic and
underrated film. In fact, it’s possibly Tim Burton’s best work. Wood’s heartwarming faith in washed-up, morphine addicted Lugosi is doomed to end in tragedy. And it’s all a true story as you’ll gather from such ‘masterpieces’ as “Glen Or Glenda” and “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. But then you probably already know this as you should have already seen it. Don’t know why I bother really.
Friday 3rd May
Evening
BBC 2
3 May
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
17
STAYING IN TONIGHT? Call for the latest student deals
(029) 2022 9977
62 CRWYS ROAD, CARDIFF
Television
18
4 May
Saturday HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
7.00 CBeebies: Spot's Musical Adventures 7.10 The Shiny Show 7.30 CBBC: Pocket Dragon Adventures 7.45 The Genie from Down Under 8.10 Yvon of the Yukon 8.35 Rugrats 9.00 The Saturday Show 12.00 BBC News; Weather 12.10 Match of the Day Live: The FA Cup Final 5.25 Bloomers: Best Bits Terry Wogan introduces a selection of mishaps from the BBC archives. 5.45 BBC News; Weather 5.55 Wales Today Christ! Tonight’s TV looks even worse than being forced to participate in Two Pints Of
7.00 Weekend 24 8.15 See Hear on Saturday 9.00 Weekend 24 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 12.00 The Sky at Night 12.50 World Snooker Championship and Racing from Haydock 5.30 FILM: The Malta Story With Alec Guinness and Jack Hawkins. Hmmm loads of space to fill here and it’s Cup Final day so Sports Desk, any predictions? “Arsenal will win the double and it will be the worse thing ever.” “And Freddie Lungdberg to wear a pink mohair suit.” Care to expand any further? Not anything that I can print then.
6.00 GMTV 9.25 SMTV Live 11.30 CD:UK 12.30 ITV News; Weather 12.35 HTV News and Weather 12.40 FILM: Love Affair Soppy 2.40 FILM: Father of the Bride 2 Terrrriibble 4.35 HTV News and Weather 4.50 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5.00 You've Been Framed! 5.30 Lily Savage's Blankety Blank Celebrity panel features Kaye Adams, Keith Barron, Fern Britton, Sherrie Hewson, Steve Penk and Robbie Savage. Yep, it says Robbie Savage. Watch yer legs Lily.
6.15 The Hoobs 6.35 Blue's Clues 7.00 GT on 4 7.30 Trans World Sport 8.30 ICC Cricket World 9.00 The Morning Line 10.00 Sporting Talk 10.30 The Fugitive 11.20 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 12.10 Stargate SG-1 1.00 2002 Pirelli British Rally Championship 1.30Channel 4 Racing 4.30 Tales from the Grave 5.00 Newyddion News5.10 Y Clwb Rygbi Swansea V Cardiff 7.15 Tipyn O Stad Omnibws 8.15 Noson Lawen I'w Chofio 9.25 Newyddion a Chwaraeon 9.40 Hanratty: The Whole Truth An interview with Valerie Storie
6.00 Russell Grant's Postcards 6.10 WideWorld 6.35 WideWorld 7.00 Sunrise 8.00 Klootz 8.05 Fat Dog Mendoza 8.30 Mega Babies 8.55 The Powerpuff Girls 9.20 Xcalibur 9.50 Max Steel 10.20 Animal Xtremes 10.35 Xena: Warrior Princess 11.30 Zoe 12.00 5 News Saturday 12.30 The Pepsi Chart 1.00 Popular 1.55 The Tribe 2.55 Home and Away Omnibus 5.00 FILM: Snowball Express One of those 70s Disney things. May feature a large dog.
Lager And A Packet Of Crisps. Gird your loins readers! 6.00 Friends like These 6.55 The Waiting Game 7.35 The National Lottery Jet Set 8.10 Casualty Free piece of advice for you. Never appear as a member of the public in the first five minutes of Casuality. It’ll all end in tears. 9.00 Parkinson Guests include Martin Clunes, Michelle Collins and Jimmy Tarbuck, and music comes courtesy of Travis.What the hell could these people possibly have to say that’s of interest. And that includes Travis. Michelle Collins – it’s hardly Ali is it? 10.00 Before They Were Famous VI 10.40 BBC News; Weather 11.00 Match of the Day Highlights of today's FA Cup final between Arsenal and Chelsea at the Millennium Stadium 11.50 FILM: The Groundstar Conspiracy Scientist in explosive lab scenes, with possible underhand motives. Stars George ‘I love it when a plan comes together’ Peppard. 1.25 Top of the Pops 1.55 Joins BBC News 24
7.10 Dan Cruickshank and the Lost Treasure of Kabul May be quite good. 8.10 The Victorian Way of Death Seems to be Dan Cruickshank night. 9.00 World Snooker Championship Guests include Graeme Garden. 11.00 WildWestlife Tour Diary and possible cure for insomnia 12.00 FILM: Bad Timing With Art Garfunkel and Theresa Russell. Not one of the greastest from the genius of Nic Roeg, due in not small part to presence of warbler Garfunkel 1.55 FILM: The Leopard Man Horror film in which an escaped leopard is blamed for a series of murders. A public relations man working for a New Mexico nightclub hires a leopard as a publicity stunt. Tragically, the animal escapes and kills a young girl.(Doh! Now I don’t know much about PR but that can’t be good...) When two more corpses turn up, the deaths are blamed on the leopard, but in trying to make up for his fatal error, the PR man discovers another killer on the loose. 3.00 BBC Learning Zone: Exam Revision: GCSE Bitesize Revision
6.10 The Way They Were Rock and Pop Special 2 7.10 Blind Date Still not allowed to diss this which is a shame cos it’s a right old bag of shite 8.10 Family Fortunes 8.40 ITV Weekend News 9.00 Stars in Their Eyes: Celebrity Special Awesome! But surely I can’t have Stars In Their Eyes as pick of the day for two weeks running. We’ll see how the rest of the day pans out. By the way, I get lots of letters from young female readers asking “TV Desk, what do you look like?” and “Is it true your pathetic attempts to fill up blank space are increasingly desparate?” Well I look a lot like Harry Hill when he did Morrissey on this show. These last two parts are true. 10.00 2DTV 10.10 I Saw You Overrated 11.10 Survivor 12.10 Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned 12.40 FILM: National Lampoon's Movie Madness 2.25 Dial-a-Date 2.50 Popped in, Crashed Out 3.15 Box Office America 3.40 Cybernet 4.05 World Sport 4.30 World Football 4.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
who was raped, shot and left for dead by James Hanratty, it says here.Bit of a moot point that. 11.10 Top Ten TV - Kings of Soap Pears get my vote. 12.50 Naked States 2.00 FILM: Cross of Iron By Sam Peckinpah. CH4. As S4C except: 6.05 Animal 6.10 The Hoobs 10.30 Football Italia: Gazzetta 11.30 2002 Pirelli British Rally Championship 12.00 VeeTV 12.30 The Fugitive 1.20 Channel 4attheraces from Newmarket and Uttoxeter 4.30 Six Experiments That Changed the World 5.05 Brookside 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Blair 5 - Tony: President or King? See Choice 8.00 Blair 5: Mo Mowlam - Inside New Labour See Choice 9.00 FILM: One Fine Day With Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney.I went on a first date to this once. Says it all really 11.05 Top Ten TV Kings of Soap 12.40 FILM: The Missionary With Michael Palin and Maggie Smith. 2.15 FILM: Last Holiday With Alec Guinness and Beatrice Campbell 3.45 Dark Skies 4.35 Code Name: Eternity 5.25 Countdown
6.50 Charmed A warlock intends to steal specific powers from witches in an attempt to kill every white lighter in the world. White lighters? It’s one way to cut down smoking but ... 7.40 5 News and Sport 8.00 High Speed Pursuits 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.55 Law and Order 10.55 The Jerry Atrick Show 11.25 Making the Cut 1.15 FILM: The Fall of the House of Usher Great Roger Corman film of the Poe story. Stars Vincent Price. 2.40 FILM: The Vagrant With Bill Paxton and Michael Ironside. Dark comic thriller about an ambitious executive who buys a new home only to discover that a grotesque tramp has been using the house. When he tries to have him evicted, events take a sinister turn. He is soon accused of two murders and makes a horrifying discovery in his refrigerator. A bit like that time DC Gates came round. 4.10 Hercules - The Legendary Journeys 4.50 Monsters 5.10 Sons and Daughters 5.35 Sons and Daughters
CHOICE Blair 5 - Tony: President or King? C4, 7.00 pm Unusually serious choice for us here on TV Desk but there’s bugger else on and anyway I can’t get away with Stars In Their Eyes two
weeks running. In truth, this looks to be very good. Nick Cohen is always a great journalist and I can’t imagine his invesigation will be too complimentary. On the other hand we pretty much know all about. Blair 5: Mo Mowlam - Inside New Labour C4, 8.00 pm
Casualty BBC1 8.10pm
Reading the Decades BBC2 7.00pm
CSI Investigates C5 9.00pm
Stars in their Eyes ITV1 6.50pm
Saturday 4th May
Evening
BBC 2
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
‘Cos it’s been leaked all over the place for the past few weeks. So nothing new in this really. Mo victim of vicious briefing campaign etc. Still, may give us an opportunity to see if her hugely popular public opinion is entirely justified. Don’t know really. Ask me next week. Bound to feature many people lying through their teeth. Such is the dirty world of Spin.
Television
19
5 May
Sunday HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 8.10 Match of the Day 9.00 Breakfast with Frost 10.00 The Heaven and Earth Show Oh, this is a pisspoor attempt to fulfill the Beeb’s remit for religious programming. Usually takes the form of lenghly plugs for various G grade celebs to plug their latest crock of shite as long as they agree at the end that, yes, there always has been a spiritual element to their singing/ books/ crocks of shite. 11.00 The Cruise 11.30 Countryfile 12.00 On the Record 1.00 Afoot Again in the Past 1.15 Keeping Up Appearances 1.45 Cats
7.00 CBeebies: Teletubbies 7.45 CBBC: The Genie from Down Under 8.10 50/50 8.35 Rugrats 9.00 Yvon of the Yukon 9.25 Super Duper Sumos 9.45 S Club Juniors: The Story 10.00 S Club 7 - Don't Stop Movin' 10.25 Even Stevens 10.50 Kenan and Kel 11.15 Malcolm in the Middle 11.40 Sunday Grandstand Wales: Barry Town v Bangor City 2.15 Badminton Horse Trials 2.50 World Snooker Championship and Athletics
6.00 GMTV 9.25 The Story Keepers 9.55 Garfield and Friends 10.25 Stuff 10.55 Animal Stories 11.00 My Favourite Hymns 12.00 A Little Bit of Heaven 12.30 Waterfront 12.55 HTV News and Weather 1.00 Jonathan Dimbleby 2.00 That's Esther 2.30 Carry On Laughing 2.50 FILM: Charade 4.55 HTV News and Weather 5.10 Presenters Gabby Logan presents a series which aims to find a new HTV presenter among 500 hopeful TV wannabes. 5.40 ITV News; Weather 5.55 The All Star Animal Awards Programme
6.00 Countdown 6.10 The Magic Roundabout 6.15 Salty's Lighthouse 6.40 The Hoobs 7.00 Football Italia 8.00 Vee-TV 8.30 Taina 9.00 As If 9.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.00 Rownd a Rownd 1.00 Y Clwb 1.45 Channel 4attheraces from Newmarket 4.25 Maniffesto 5.25 Newyddion5.35 Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 7.30 Y Sioe Gelf 8.00 Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 8.30 Ryan a Ronnie 9.05 Pen Tennyn 9.35 Newyddion News.9.50 Blair 5 - Tony: President or King?10.50 To Be Announced12.55 New Labour 1.55 Honky Panky 10.50 To Be Announced
6.00 Russell Grant's Postcards 6.05 WideWorld 6.30 It's Your Funeral 7.00 Beachcomber Bay 7.30 Tickle, Patch and Friends 8.05 Adventures from the Book of Virtues 8.35 Babar 9.05 Wishbone 9.35 Redwall 10.05 Pet Project 10.35 Hercules - the Legendary Journeys 11.30 FAQ 12.00 You Know What I'm Saying 12.30 5 News Update 12.40 Moto GP: Spain 2.20 Wild Tales 2.50 Family Affairs Omnibus 5.05 5 News and Sport 5.35 FILM: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze
5.30 Points of View Used to be the best show on TV. I wish I was dead. 5.45 BBC News 6.05 Regional News; 6.10 Songs of Praise No, actually I really wish I was dead. Crap religious TV has possibly got more to do with our aetheistic culture than anything. Features Aled Jones. 6.45 Antiques Roadshow Coffin dodgers attempt to deprive their offspring of their rightful inheritance and then piss away the proceeds. 7.30 Ground Force 8.00 Born and Bred 9.00 Auf Wiedersehen, Pet 10.00 BBC News; Weather 10.15 It Takes Two Documentary charting the history of the pop duo from the Everly Brothers to the Chemical Brothers. 11.15 FILM: Strictly Ballroom Cute, says Sarah, Cute. May be the film, may be Paul Mercurio. I don’t know. Directed by Baz Luhrmann. 12.50 FILM: Empire Records Fuggin awwwesssomme! screams the office. A record store version of Kevin Smith before Kevin Smith came along. Wouldn’t take their word for it if I were you. 2.20 Joins BBC News 24
6.25 Scrum V 7.15 Belgium's X-Files: An Olenka Frankiel Investigation Olenka Frankiel questions the conventional view that those who bore witness to the existence of a paedophile network, said to include members of Belgium's ruling elite, are unreliable. 8.00 World Snooker Championship 10.30 The X Files 11.15 Bombay Blush 11.45 Later with Jools Holland I said it before, I’ll say it again, Costello, you’re a legend. 2.00 BBC Learning Zone: Exam Revision: GCSE Bitesize Revision 4.00 Languages: Espana Viva 11-12/Spanish Globo 3-5 5.00 Working in Engineering: Basic IT and Web Skills Hmm, more space to obliterate than an Israeli tank. Well, here goes: If you were driving the stolen Escort which crashed into the traffic lights outside the Old Monk around lunchtime today, I’ve got full descriptions. 2 guys, early 20s, dark hair, both under 6”, both in jeans. One in a blue T shirt, One in a white vest. Am I eligible for a community action reward?
7.00 Wish You Were Here...? 7.30 Coronation Street 8.00 Where the Heart Is Documentary exploring the mid region of the chest but slightly to the right side. Christ, I’ll get my coat. 9.00 The Forsyte Saga Brucie steers his longboat on a quest for the golden rug. After rescuing a scantily clad Rosmarie Ford he is rewarded with a cuddly toy. Aww sorry, look, it won’t happen again. At least not til the next huge gap on the page. 10.30 ITV Weekend News 10.45 2DTV 10.55 The South Bank Show Melvyn Bragg presents a profile of Fay Weldon, who talks candidly about her work, life and love, and her experiences as an unmarried mother in the 50s. 11.55 Ultimate Questions Such as “Why are we here? Especially at 8pm on a Thursday night?” 12.40 FILM: The Woman for Joe 2.15 My Favourite Hymns (Be Though My Vision) 3.15 Motorsport UK 3.45 ITV Sport Classics 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
12.55 New Labour 1.55 Honky Panky 2.25 FILM: Romance on the High Seas
7.10 Martial Law Six million dollars is accidentally deposited into Sammo's bank account, making him a target for criminals who want it back. And a large target at that. 8.00 Ultimate Tanks Documentary about wicked tanks. 9.00 FILM: Operation Delta Force 4: Deep Fault With Joe Lara and Greg Collins. (Action, 1999) You know a series is ailing when even Chuck Norris bails out. 10.55 Hard B-----ds: Charlie Siega Kate Kray presents a documentary series about men and women with criminal pasts. In this edition, she talks to Liverpudlian petty thief turned armed robber Charlie Siega. And then Michael Pearlman challenges him to a fight in the Union. 11.30 Law and Order Drama series about law enforcement. A working mother is accused of prostitution and murder. Thats fuckin Tories for you. 12.30 Major League Baseball Live: Los Angeles Dodgers v Chicago Cubs 4.00 Major League Baseball Replay: Texas Rangers v Cleveland Indians
C4: As S4C except: 7.10 Blue's Clues 7.35 The Kids from Room 402 8.00 T4 8.30 T4: Malibu 9.00 T4: Taina 9.25 T4: Popworld 10.25 T4: Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30 T4: As If 1.10 T4: The Players 4.40 Andromeda 5.35 Stargate SG-1 6.25 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 7.20 Great Civilisations: Egypt 7.50 Channel 4 News 8.05 Blair 5: Mo Mowlam - Inside New Labour Part two of former cabinet minister Mo Mowlam's revealing twopart insight into her years serving in Tony Blair's government. 9.00 The West Wing 10.00 FILM: Sirens With Hugh Grant and Elle Macpherson. That’s three tits on show then 11.40 Football Italia: La Partita 12.40 ICC Cricket World 1.10 Playing for England 2.05 2002 Pirelli British Rally Championship 2.35 GT on 4 3.00 Classic Aircraft 3.30 Why Buildings Collapse: Overload 4.20 At Home with the Crackheads 5.20 Countdown
Born and Bred BBC1 8.00pm
24 BBC2 10.00pm
The Forsyth Saga ITV1 9.00pm
The West Wing C4 9.00pm
CHOICE FILM: Charade HTV, 2.50pm
Why do all my choices make me out to be so gay? I can’t even choose the hyper-masculine TV ‘cos it seems to have been shunted
to accomodate the nngggahh Snooker. Ah well, this is still ace. A cod Hitchcockian plot finds World’s Most Beautiful WomanTM, Audrey Hepburn widowed. She gets embroiled with the too smooth by half Cary Grant who may or may not be baaad. Walter Matthau is his cuddly self but is he all he seems?
All we know is that Audrey looks great in Givenchy, Henry Mancini’s score is groovy and erm, well we can guess the ending. But who cares when it it all looks so damn swingin’. As ever, I’ve got a great impression on offer. My Cary Grant’s ace but I’ll do Audrey for a pint. Oh, fnarr.
Sunday 5th May
Evening
BBC 2
Today’s Highlights
Daytime
BBC 1
STAYING IN TONIGHT? Call for the latest student deals
(029) 2022 9977
62 CRWYS ROAD, CARDIFF
29.04.02
Focus
The Gair Rhydd Features Section Free Word 719
In the summer time... With summer finally on its way, Katherine Sparkes takes a look at the new season’s trends to get us all in the mood for summer loving frosted – Pigment Colour Powder (£15) in gold or tan is also good as an all over wonder product creating everything from a subtle sheen to a powerful iridescent finish. For eyes, green is the dominant colour and MAC’s eyeshadows in De Menthe, Melody and Surreal Frost (£9) contain satin finish colour particles, performing with ease and consistency. Pro Lash Mascara (£7.50) provides the ultimate pro formula with all the must-have benefits – lengthening, thickening, defining, non-flaking and nonsmudging. Complete the look using MAC Lacquer for lips (£12.50) in Juxtarose or Poly Vinyl.
K AT : P u r p l e t o p £ 3 0 K i k a , s t r i p y skir t £36 Great Planes H E L E N : S u n d r e s s £ 4 9 Ko o k a i
BEST BUY:
KAT: Bikini top £14 Oasis, white camisole £18 Coast, white skirt £45 French Connection, sunglasses £10 Topshop HELEN: Broderie anglaise top £25 Warehouse, denim and lace skirt £49.99 Morgan, belt £18 Kookai, sunglasses £10 Topshop, bracelets £3.50, necklace £4 all Freedom
W
ILD AND untamed romance is the proposition designers have come up with for summer and the season is set to be the prettiest, most feminine and seductive for a long time. Finally rid of the pseudo-fetishism of the 80s, understated chic prevails and fashion is set to become both fantastical and frivolous. Embrace the love and peace vibe, updating hippy classics with a sexy laid-back attitude. It’s all about getting nostalgic with must-have pieces including tiered gypsy skirts,
A belt by Kika. Unique and individual, they guarantee no-one else will have the same design as you! Not only will they hand craft your choice but also offer free delivery. Prices start from £5. To order call: 02920 471476
LAURA: Roman crochet top £35 Kookai, white linen trousers £28 Topshop; yellow flower £3.99 Accessorize. CARA: Top and skirt £28 and £35 Warehouse; necklace £12 Accessorize
printed chiffon dresses and wide flowing trousers. Soft fluid shapes in delicate fabrics are the essential for this season of eclectic femininity and fabrics include broderie anglaise, suede, voile and chiffon matched with sunny stripes and giant floral prints. Tough yet chic, weather beaten denim mixed with feminine frills and flounces or a tiered or ruffled skirt capture the essence of summer. Accessorise with fringes, feathers, beaten silver, tooled leather and
turquoise jewellery. Even more compelling is the adaptability of the designs. You’ll find clothes that are easy to layer and work well with what you’ve already got. Many fabrics also come readycrumpled for that time-worn charm. This summer make-up is sheer, sumptuous and sexy and MAC’s Strobe cream (£18.50) - Kylie’s favourite - is ideal to create the look. The richly tinted and brilliantly
60’s chic knocks down male boundaries
K I E R A N : S h i r t £ 5 0 G a s ( a t H o we l l s ) W I L L : T- s h i r t £ 2 0 D i e s e l , s h i r t £ 2 2 To p m a n N I C K : S h i r t £ 4 5 L i n e a ( a t H o we l l s )
Dipping into the 60s and early 70s, designers have created a very cool, laid back look for menswear this season. Freedom dominates as the theme for summer and influences are far-ranging although not as avant garde as predicted. Colour, cut and fabric are spiked with creativity – both spontaneous and controlled with individual identity taking precedence. Boundaries are pushed back to enforce the male personality with clear, effective precision and style is underlined by the need to innovate rather than imitate.
Belts £15 Kika; brown s u n g l a s s e s £ 1 0 To p s h o p , s u e d e f r i n g e d b a g £ 1 5 To p s h o p
S u n g l a s s e s £ 1 0 To p s h o p , b e l t s £ 1 5 K i k a ; d r a go n f l y c l i p £ 7 O a s i s
Clothing features experimental graphic design prints, tone-on-tone graffiti and vertical stripes reminiscent of old baseball uniforms producing a look built on independence and audacity. There’s a slight mixing of men and women’s style in certain pieces such as men’s flight jackets with back ruching detail and also antiquated floral prints combined with oily petrol cast denim. Essentials include denim (dried, blasted or personalised), re-coloured stripes in army green and navy, revival sportswear and bold emblazoned jackets conveying a retro military look. The season’s colours reflect the English Heritage theme in the form of easy to wear neutrals, camel and powder blue.
KIERAN: Shir t £50 Gas, trousers £ 3 5 L i n e a ( b o t h a t H o we l l s ) WILL: White fitted t-shir t £20 Diesel, blue linen trousers £30 To p m a n
NICK: Shir t £45 Linea , trousers £ 3 5 L i n e a ( a t H o we l l s )
INSIDE FOCUS THIS WEEK: A survivor’s guide to the exams – don’t get stressed until you’ve read our guide to getting through them unscathed • Dyspraxia – the disorder you’ve never heard of • The future of Gibraltar • One student’s marathon experiences
Gair Rhydd Monday 29th April 2002
Focus • 12
How to A pass the test of stress As exams and essay deadlines loom closer, stress levels hit new heights. Charlotte Spratt asks how to beat the exam blues
h, the summer. Long warm evenings, frisbee in the park, picnics in the countryside, trips to the seaside…Unfortunately for us students, the coming warmer weather signals exams and essay deadlines, confining us to the gloom of the library or computer room. When all you want to do is go out with friends who you won’t see over the summer months, it’s easy to become stressed and depressed. According to a recent American study, anxiety amongst students has reached record heights. What were considered absurdly high levels of stress in students during the 1950’s are now normal. Experts believe that the combination of academic, financial and social responsibilities make university a stressful and frustrating time. On top of all this our fears of failure, our parent’s expectations and peer group pressure all add to the feeling of anxiety. Stress, however, should be considered as a reaction and interpretation of events rather than a state caused by external events. And stress is only harmful when it is excessive. In fact, mild forms of it will motivate and energise; many people work at their best when under some kind of pressure. It encourages us to time manage, get down to some studying and makes a bit of a challenge that will lead to personal achievement. Although some tension is natural, excessive levels can actually affect exam performance as well as causing medical and social problems. Nerves can cause us to make silly errors, excess tension is tiring and leaves us less alert for revision and essay writing and it makes turning off at night difficult, leading to less sleep and more fatigue. So what can you do to prevent turning into a gibbering wreck over these coming weeks? Firstly, accept that stress is natural and, at this time of the year, inevitable. Then prioritise and make sure your goals are realistic. Making a
timetable, and sticking to it, may sound like the advice given to you in year 11, but if it worked then, it could well work now. Take time out to relax, but don’t waste it. If you want to watch Neighbours, try to combine it with your evening meal, or work it into your schedule. You probably don’t feel it’s possible to spare the time, but try to get regular exercise. It will help you take your mind off work, get some of your frustration out and help you sleep at night. It doesn’t have to be a huge workout, get down the park for a kick around or drag a mate out to play tennis. Having fun is really important. If you don’t relax then you’ll burn yourself out too soon so don’t deny yourself. Remember the proverb ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,’ so get down the pub for a few bevvies after a hard days revision. Don’t ignore your body clock either; if you don’t wake up until midday then trying to work at 6am may not help matters. Equally, working into the early hours if your effectiveness tails off towards the end of the day will make your efforts ineffective. But don’t turn this into an excuse to wake up late and get lashed every evening. When you feel like you’re wasting time, go outside, take a breath of fresh air and drink a glass of water. It may help to keep a pad of paper by you as you work so you can jot down any interruptive thoughts. By doing this you don't risk forgetting them, and you’re acknowledging that the concerns are important enough to warrant attention, but not so important that they must come before your work. Give yourself credit for the work you’re getting done. Even small steps forward in your work are worthwhile and you’re almost always likely to have done more than other people on your course. And make sure that you aren’t surrounding yourself with stressheads. It is hard sometimes to establish a
controlled outlook on your work, but it is easy to lose it when you’re around some one else who is stressed out. Basically, try to focus on the task in hand and avoid looking into the potential longer term consequences of doing well or badly. If you are still feeling more stressed than you should be after trying these things, then think about making an appointment to have a talk with one of the Counsellors on campus. They know all about the problems that students face at exam time and are happy to help. Remember that sometimes exams and essays are worth relatively little compared to the total for the course and so it may not be worth getting worked up over. – Don't try to be perfect. It's great to aim high but keep things in balance – Get help with work from your class mates – Prioritise – Study one thing at a time and follow it through to completion. Then put it behind you and move on to the next task – Working through the hard stuff first may seem stressful but it often allows you to cover more material effectively – Try to maintain an attitude of ‘I’ll do my best under the circumstances’. – As soon as you begin losing concentration, take a short break. – Don't drink too much caffeine as your thinking will be less clear – Don’t go to bed straight after study as your mind will be going round and round. Do something to relax, and take you mind off it – Try to have all the things you need to hand.
Little Miss Clumsy While many of us have heard of dyslexia, the disorder known as dyspraxia is rarely documented or spotted amongst children. Christalle Hayes, a sufferer of the disorder, explains why it is so important to recognise and diagnose dyspraxia
Y
ou may not have heard of dyspraxia, but it is a disability that affects ten percent of the population It is a disorder in which a person has a poor ability to plan and to carry out sequences of co-ordinated movements in order to achieve an objective. To put it simply, dyspraxia causes a person to be disorganized, clumsy and lack co-ordination. This is not dyslexia – it doesn’t affect the way a person reads or writes in quite the same way as dyslexia. Dyspraxia affects the motor system. A dyspraxic child, for example, will have difficulties riding a bike, doing up buttons and even eating using a knife and fork. The movements that are involved with these activities are all skilled movements and are voluntary and so are going to be affected by dyspraxia. Some researchers have described children with developmental dyspraxia as showing impaired performance of skilled movements and no significant findings on standard neurological examination. If a child is diagnosed at an early stage it is possible that with enough help, patience and understanding the child can learn to live with these problems. The later the diagnosis, the less likely it is that the person can be helped.
This could be due to the fact that the child may just have learnt to accept the fact that he or she is clumsy and disorganized, as their parents and friends will also have done. The child will be condemned for it as people around them don’t understand, and this leads to a low self esteem and a frustrated child when the child finds it fairly difficult to change his or her ways. For a dyspraxic child it is a daily struggle to control their body as it interacts with their physical and social environment. This is what erodes selfesteem and confidence. Dyspraxic children will also find sport difficult so PE and games lessons will be a particularly stressful time when their difficulties are put on display. Selfconfidence is likely to be further shattered when teachers and peers single them out; their sense of isolation stems from their disability. And this is why it is important that a child is given patience and understanding and is able to understand why he or she simply cannot “catch that ball.” Many children will go out of their way to miss a dreaded PE lesson simply to avoid being ridiculed. This also applies in the playground where children play together using movements that involve quick physical actions; the poorly coordinated child is left feeling that he is unable to participate. They
stand out as they are unable to react fast enough or appropriately. This can effectively cause ridicule and social isolation. Dyspraxia can cause problems within academic work as it can affect the speed of writing and reading. This is due to dyspraxia causing the mind to be disorganized and to read data in a disorganized way. Therefore, it takes a while for the mind to put the relevant information into an ideal order. It can cause problems in exams and in lessons, especially when speedy note taking is needed. I wasn’t diagnosed with dyspraxia until I reached my A Level years, and by that time I had left school and had moved to a sixth form college. I have always felt resentful towards my old school for never picking up on it. My peers were always helped in one form or another for their dyslexia, I was offered no help for my dyspraxia although the symptoms were clear. Within the first fortnight of my A Levels I was strongly advised by my English teacher to take a test for dyslexia as she could clearly see that I was having problems. Life became much easier once I had been diagnosed. I suddenly became aware of why I was having all these particular difficulties. I was offered extra time in my exams and given advice in how to combat the problems dyspraxia
gave me. I still suffer from dyspraxia in many subtle ways that my friends possibly hardly notice. But I do. The biggest problem for me is that dyspraxia, unlike dyslexia, is a social problem. Sometimes in a social situation I may suddenly become so aware of any blunder that I may make that I end up just sitting in silence feeling totally unsociable. Dyspraxia is a disorder that has not had as much attention as it needs and
deserves. Many people are fully aware of dyslexia but often people stare at me blankly when I try to explain dyspraxia and I end up feeling that I am just making excuses. Dyspraxia is essentially a learning difficulty that will affect academic work and, therefore, needs more recognition and better ways of diagnosis in academic situations. It is also a disorder that can potentially cause social isolation and this is another reason why support is needed.
Keep on running... Focus • 13
Gair Rhydd Monday 29th April 2002
As this year’s London marathon comes and goes, seducing us with its runners’ sweat, determination, and entertainment, Mareile Pfannebecker transports us back to her own experience of life in the fast lane
A
fter months and months spent running up and down the Taff through rain, mud, wind and more rain, weekend after weekend of collapsing in front of the TV with aching legs at 8 pm instead of going out, I found myself in a ridiculously overcrowded starting pen in Greenwich Park, London, glass fibre rhinos to the left, various Sesame Street characters to the right, and a massive plastic bum right in front of my face. Where was I? Who was I? What on earth was I thinking to come here? Oh yes, the Flora London Marathon. Beware, it is not as harmless, happy and flowery as it sounds. Not just a margarine producersponsored sporting event. A revved-up London entertainment highlight. A tourist attraction. A charity event. Forget it, all of this is only secondary. You don’t know it unless you run it. If you have a slight claustrophobic tendency, like me, and don’t really like big crowds…do it! It’s a mad trip. So, the run. The first part felt surprisingly much like one of the shittier nights at SOLUS: crap music along the roadside (you don’t want to know how many times I’ve had to listen to ‘Haaaeeeey, Baby’), worse DJs trying to create some sort of atmosphere and a sweaty, smelly, indifferent, intoxicated slow-moving crowd, too many people, too loud, too hot, plastic bottles on the ground, everyone dressed boringly uniform apart from the occasional Sesame Street bird, (excuse the indulgent comparison, no offence, SOLUS-lovers). But luckily, after a couple of miles, things got better. Less people watching, less people running: After the earth shaking, heartbreaking
experience of passing the half way mark, runners started to drop like flies. The arrow piercing so many glycogen-depleted runner hearts was rather viscious indeed – after 13 gruelling miles and the first alarming signs of fatigue, THERE WAS A 22 MILE MARKER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD! And there were lots of fresh looking club runners going the other way – they had already completed the loop around Canary Wharf we were just about to run. Some people stopped, some just sat down, and I had to come over the loss of dear cockney Jake. He had been my loyal running partner for the last 5 miles, and now, with one last dreary eyed apologetic sigh, he stopped and, heavy footed, made his way to a Burger Van – the drama of it! (A Burger Van, right on a MARATHON running route. Navigation problems? Viscious calculation? Severe lack of sense? Or a terrorist attempt to sabotage the world’s biggest marathon…). The next couple of miles would have been interesting for the ones of us devoted to drug abuse – no acid trip could be stranger. Mr. Pink Plastic Bum (isn’t that a great idea. I’m running a marathon, haha, and I’m going to do it with a massive plastic bum strapped around my waist. Aren’t I hilarious) suddenly reappeared in front of me. No, no, impossible, I passed him TWICE…must be hallucinating…. have to pass him again…right in front of me are, as their vests cry in large white letters, Nick and Mary.nickanmarymickanary…. MUST keep up with blue and white Nick and Mary. Nick and Mary are just great. Apparently, they are ‘Good Shepherds’ of some sort – hopefully the name of their charity and not of their running club.
Nick and Mary are matching head to toe, and are an amazing couple for every one to see, as they’re holding hands on and off on the run. They don’t want to miss the occasional snog either and to let everyone know how much they love each other and how much fun they are they’re both wearing absurdly over dimensional white bunny ears. Isn’t life a joy, especially when running the last third of a marathon…must keep up…. Nick whispers into Mary’s bunny ear, “only 10 glorious miles to go, pumpkin,” and they hop along, two white bunny ears bobbing over the heads of the crowd…. and they’re gone. The road is blue the sky is grey and I am miles and miles away… My consciousness must have started to dim about here, because the next thing I remember is running past the 24-mile marker. By now, the general mood in the pack had definitely switched from Friday night to Saturday morning: blank stare in more white than red faces, a general dehydration of bodies and minds, slowmotion, puke puddles to be dodged…Official photographers having the brilliant idea to take some action shots just now, ‘medical helpers’ lining the route, sticking out their plastic gloved hands with big sticky batches of petroleum jelly, sneering coldly. It’s enough to make anyone want to run. When the finish line appeared around the corner, some actually attempted a sprint, others just stopped running altogether. Did I just cross the line? Am I allowed to stop? What am I doing here again? Not sure. Just know that it has never felt so good to take off my running shoes. This is great. I’ve got to do it again.
Rock on Gibraltar The heated discussion over Britain’s pet colony continues. Should Gibraltar remain British or be taken over by the Spaniards? Nadia Sisarello sweeps us up in her strong pro-British gust, and informs us of a ‘Support the Rock’ rock concert to take place in lovely old Swansea
B
ritain has occupied the Rock of Gibraltar since 1704. For almost 300 years (longer than the USA has existed) the Gibraltarian people have been British. Contrary to popular belief, the Gibraltarians are a mixture of Italian, Maltese, Portuguese and Spanish descent. They are a selfgoverning country with only external affairs being decided by Britain. The official language is English and the locals are bilingual and speak a mixture of English and Spanish in their everyday language. Despite aggressive attempts by Spain to get Gibraltar back, successive British governments have reaffirmed the British claim to Gibraltar, and the right of its people to remain British, embodied in the Gibraltarian Constitution which says that “Her Majesty’s Government will never enter into arrangements under which the people of Gibraltar would pass under the sovereignty of another state against their freely and democratically expressed wishes.” In recent years, the Spanish government have adopted a policy of aggression and harassment against Gibraltar, including: – arresting drivers with Gibraltar licences – not recognising Gibraltar issued UK passports – causing border queues of over 5 hours – blocking Gibraltar’s inclusion in EU matters – preventing Gibraltar flights diverted due to
bad weather landing at a Spanish airport – preventing UK military flights from Gibraltar flying over Spain. Now the British Government is entering into a deal with Spain conceding ‘in principle’ joint sovereignty over Gibraltar, without allowing the Gibraltar Government an effective voice at those talks. Peter Hain and Jack Straw have threatened that the British Government will abandon Gibraltar in Europe if its people do not agree to the deal they have agreed. There has also been an attempt to bribe Gibraltar, promising £35 million of EU money if they accept joint Spanish rule, an offer they rejected. The Gibraltarians want to remain British and do not want Spanish control over their homes. Many people find this bizarre and wonder why in the 21st Century Gibraltar wants to remain a colony under British rule. The answer is that the people of Gibraltar would ideally like to have control over their own country. In a democratic world, a country should belong to its people and should not be a commodity to be freely traded between countries. However, although independence would be the natural progression from being a colony it is not a choice available to them. They would rather be a colony under Britain eventually gaining independence than be taken over by Spain with no prospects of ever being a
country in our own right. In protest of this undemocratic situation, a concert has been organised by the Rock on the Rock club in Swansea. Wales has been chosen as it is the Welsh MP, Peter Hain, who is currently in talks with Britain over the handing over of Gibraltar. Originally the organisers intended to hold the concert in Neath as it is Mr Hain’s constituency, but unfortunately it was banned and no reasons were given. The concert is free and the line up includes three bands from Gibraltar: Jaime Chiappe, Chango Mutney and Dirty Work and the Welsh band Steel Water. Steel Water have performed with Bonnie Taylor, Dire Straits, Rick Wakeman and many others and recently performed at a charity concert in Royal Albert Hall. In addition a mystery headline act has been promised and the Welsh promoter of the concert Steve Eldson has contacts with some of Wales’ biggest bands. Everyone is welcome and it promises to be a fun night with cheap drinks also available. The event starts at 7pm at the Patti Pavilion in Swansea and will probably run until midnight. National Express coaches from Cardiff to Swansea run nearly every hour and start at 00.25 so you can be back by 1.30am on the following morning. ºIf you would like more information please contact me Nadia Sisarello at: nadiakarla@yahoo.com
Gair Rhydd Monday 29 April 2002
Focus • 14
Panic on the streets gairrhydd 2001-2002
Was brought to you by... Editor Sarah Hodson GRiP Editor Michael Parsons and Jonathan Steven News James Bladon and Lydia Kirby Sport Tristan Thomas and Michael Pearlman Focus Charlotte Spratt, Katie Lodge and Daniel Barnes Books David Gates Arts LaDonna Hall and Lizzie Brown Music Gemma Curtis, Andy Parsons, Jamie Grierson and Gemma Jones Film Neil Blain Games Chris Faires Get There Neil Krajewski Television Alex Mcpherson, Nick McDonald and Steve Hurst Blagging Matt Harvey Letters Matt George Proofreader Holly Robarts Contributors Dominic O’Neill, Samantha Matthews, Peter Wearn, Mark Cobley, Anna Hodgekiss, Mat Holmes, Dan Keel, Lizzy Green, Christalle Hayes, Mariele Pfannebecker, Nadia Sisarello, Katherine Sparkes, Andrew Davidson, Jamie Fullerton, Owain Cooke, Alex Macpherson, Gemma Hampson, Katie Brunt, John Holman, Maria Thomas, John Widdop, Kate Price, Mat Croft, Emily Miller, Davis Gibson, Nick McDonald, Chris Evans, David Williams, Pete Samson, Nick King, Matt Greenhill, Sam Brokenshaw, Nicola York, Natasha Hirst and Dan McKee. Thanks to everyone who helped out with this issue. I’d just like to remind everyone to come to the Gair Rhydd Media Awards on Friday 3rd May in the Great Hall, for loads of booze and plenty of awesome scenes. Tickets are on sale now!
In a New Labour style u-turn, Daniel Barnes tries to discourage people from attending Mayday riots in England’s grand and glorious capital
I
T HAS been reported that our very own Rev Charles has suffered two attacks of verbal violence from a protesting Catholic, one of which involved brandishing a KitKat at the defenceless clergyman –8 a hint of violent protest which reminds that its nearly Mayday Before writing this I spun around on my executive office chair twenty times in order to make myself experience the nausea our Good Reverend must have felt when these incidents occurred. The protesting Catholic in question – a Nestle supporter who cannot be named because we are trying to protect the guilty – is exactly the kind of person who grinds us down, exactly the kind of person who voted to lift the Nestle ban, and exactly the kind of person who perpetuates the kind of riots we will no doubt see in London on Wednesday. Of course, with the onset of spring comes people’s poor excuse to get central London closed down for a day. I must confess to having received
bound protestors head for Cardiff instead? It would be more beneficial for everyone. While we’re on the subject of such anti-capitalist calamity, it is worth mentioning that a riot – incited by Rev Charles’s Nestle article – broke out between two flats in Talybont. A food fight reportedly ensued after a heated discussion of the Nestle ban turned
Dancing to a different Beat
Daniel’s views are bound to provoke a reaction. If you have any comments to make regarding anything in this article, please email them to ssugr1@cf.ac.uk.
Britain’s losing faith in schools...
PopScene: Abbi Shaw talks sees the light After a prolonged absence, and realises Ronan Keating is great for so Lizzy Green returns to so many reasons ruminate upon the
C
omebacks are usually required after a star has gone awry. Usually they follow a messy splitting of a group, nights and weeks of drunken and drugged behaviour to feed the gossip pages of The Sun, and a string of X-list “celebrity” girlfriends, who earn their status by appearing regularly in a variety of men’s magazines. Either that or they provide an ageing, decomposing solo artist the opportunity to sell another seven albums before being dumped by their record label and having a nervous
Contact us Address Gair Rhydd Cardiff University Students’ Union Park Place Cardiff CF10 3QN Telephone Editorial – (029) 20781434/436 Advertising – (029) 20781416 E-mail ssugr1@cf.ac.uk Visitors Find us on the 4th floor of the Students’ Union
phone calls from BBC News 24 and BBC Radio Wales, last year, following an article I wrote in support of the Mayday riots. This year, though, I would like to say I have changed my mind. Having actually been to London on Mayday, I have seen the destructive atrocity that it really is. There seems to me no logical connection between the evils of world capitalism and some idiot lefties destroying the best city in the world – for their crimes, capitalism and the protestors are just as bad as each other, with the key difference that we need capitalism to survive. I will not repeat my objections to disruptive public protest, except to say that London is great, and shouldn’t be subjected to such violence. If they want to cause a riot anywhere, they should do it in Cardiff: the suburbs are swiftly falling into decline and riddled with huge drug problems, and the city centre – that is Queen Street – is about to be knocked down and rebuilt anyway, so why don’t all the London-
into violence. Rev Charles is very pleased that he has managed to reach the concerns of his parishioners. The lesson to be learnt is that if you have a point to make, you should make it without getting in anybody else’s way, without slowing down the pace of their life, and without causing damage to them or their property, and without threatening them with a Nestle chocolate bar.
Ronan:
simply the best boy
breakdown. (It may interest you to know that in the first instance I was thinking of Robbie Williams, and in the second, Mariah Carey.) However, the comeback that has luxuriously coated those vital hours of early morning television bears no great resemblance to either. Ronan Keating has been away because he has been having a baby. This must have bothered the tabloids immensely, because, terrifyingly enough, the mother is… his wife. No affairs, no sordid gallivantings in dodgy Irish-themed pubs, no rumours or speculations, just a nice, normal, happy event. Which is rather nice. And now Ronan is back to keep Page Editor smiling like the Cheshire Cat and Lorraine Kelly in her job, we can all rejoice at what, frankly, a lovely boy he is. He has new hair, which is exciting, although it does lead me to wonder if he’s suffering premature hair loss, as he is looking suspiciously middleaged for his 25 years. However, that’s what being an international star and having two young children is all about, I imagine. It is also about singing your new song three times – live – in the space of an hour, and pretending that each time is the first time you’ve sung it for ages. Ronan was on GMTV for hours and hours the other
morning, and it must be said that only Fran from Travis could provide a more pleasant and equally inoffensive sight to wake up to, but I’m afraid that, while I agree wholeheartedly with the propagation of Ronan wherever possible, I do have issues with the continual singing of that new single of his, If Tomorrow Never Comes. Let us not confuse ourselves, however, I like the song a very reasonable amount – nice gravelly voice and entertaining melodic leaps, but I really must question the theme. Essentially, this is one of the most depressing songs ever – the lyrics run to the effect of “There’s every chance I’m about to die and wouldn’t that be just the end of the world” – and who needs to wake up to that entirely upsetting sentiment? In fact, not only wake up to it, but have it repeated to you for the next hour in case you weren’t upset enough the first time or awake enough to think about it. Ronan is a wonderful, lovely boy (can you tell I’ve been well trained to say this?) but honestly, pop is bright colours and fluffy kittens, and although he has cultivated a ritual of only wearing black (which might be allowed, as he looks relatively sexy) he could at least stick with the joyful cowboy look that suits him so well.
goverment’s plans to introduce single faith schools
T
here has recently been a degree of discussion in the press over the introduction of more single faith schools. In short, this means creating schools founded on one denomination of a religion such as Catholic, Baptist, or a religion such as Muslim or Sikh, where the faith teaching is incorporated into the classroom.
Such schools are advocated due to the relative success of already existing single faith schools, which, according to league tables, do better than mixed faith schools. And at present, the Labour government is in favour of setting up more single faith schools, a project which has come under strong criticism. It is obvious, it seems, that single faith schools encourage segregation within a community. To divide an area of children into schools denoting their
religion seems to be a particularly naïve idea, particularly in an area such as Oldham, where racial tensions are already running high. It is easy for adults to tell their children that the children at other schools are no different, but it seems highly unlikely that impressionable thirteen year olds are going to embrace this notion. Surely, segregation at school extends beyond the classroom, and the playground, into the street. It only appears natural that kids at the Sikh school aren’t going to go seeking Jewish friends from down the road, for example. Advocators of the system stress that the schools will not be strictly single-faith; you are allowed in if you hold other beliefs (or your parents do) but, arguably, this only encourages divisions within schools never mind outside them. To parents their child’s educational benefits are paramount but, whether the sacrifice of racial harmony is worthwhile is debatable, and not worth it in my opinion.
Second RSL a success for Xpress Gair Rhydd Monday 29th April 2002
Focus • 15
Jones Xpress Radio, Cardiff’s award winning radio station, is back on Roop Hello, I’m Roop Jones, scoffing down my air on 87.9FM for another month of innovative shows and Weetabix at an unhealthy speed great music. Gair Rhydd gives you the lowdown on some of to make sure I get to studio’s the DJ’s gracing your airwaves over the next four weeks on time to bring you the Elaye Clarke
Elaye is the Campaigns and PR Officer for the Students Union. His show is The Late Beat (Sundays 10.30pm 12am), 1 to 3pm weekdays. He likes good music with a good beat e.g. Alicia Keys, Ja Rule, Sting, and dislikes bad mass produced crap like Popstars, Pop Idol.
Jamie Dunbar
Jamie is a second year Journalism, Film and Broadcasting student. He had a bash at student radio last March for a laugh and has now won the BBC Radio 1 Student Radio Awards for Best Male Presenter. Jamie had never considered radio as a possible career, although that has all changed
now as Radio Wales has already offered him a job presenting. Catch him Monday to Friday, 1pm til' 3pm for great music, challenge Jessica and his Singled Out Sounds on Xpress Radio.
Jamie Saunders Jamie’s show is called The
Fridge and airs on Monday nights 10.30pm-12am. To put it simply and to quote the lost boyz, he’ll be serving up “techniques for the streets over rough neck beats.” Having wowed Spin’ em eddy and Java audiences (as well as a host of other nights in and around the south west), with his quite astounding selection of bar-style fusion, the Fridge with Jamie Saunders at the helm is a show not to be missed. If the idea of lounging in style on leather sofas, sipping straight J-D’s and being wowed by just how sexy music can actually be appeals to you then you must
not fail to check out the Fridge. Its the perfect alternative to Fun Factory. Its free to listen to and has the added bonus of the promise that he won’t come around and put a fag out on your new t-shirt, spill beer all down your leg or try to come on to you in a disgracefully drunken state – embarrassing for all parties concerned. Words struggle to do much of this man’s music justice – with a fine ear for feel good tunes and a mixing ability to match, Monday nights promise never to be the same again.
Jodie Campbell ‘Northern Lass with all the class!’
The only northerner gracing the airwaves during the broadcast, hence the title! The show is fun, energetic and is a musical
extravaganza. We are giving away, fantastic girly LUSH prizes for those girls who need a little indulgence or
for the blokes who have forgotten a birthday or anniversary! A grand opportunity. Pleasant listening to the ears, myself and Medeline (producer) bring a different beat to the show with a feature we call ‘What’s Hot and What’s Not’, basically, what’s on in the union, up and coming events etc, with much laughter. I have my work cut out for the me as I am also a third year Journalism, Film and Broadcasting student, Head of Events at Xpress and a full time alcoholic (joke!) I hope you enjoy the show because I love presenting it.
Pete King Pete is a 2nd year Business
Administration student. He is 21 and according to him, all you need to know is Pete King, Pete King, Pete King, Pete King, Pete King. Monday Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 8am to 10 am. So be aware of the name and listen everyday for your chance to be taken to musical paradise on Xpress Radio.
breakfast show. The fun starts at the student shocking time of 8am and goes on until the hour commonly referred to as 10am. On a personal note, I’ve been involved in Xpress since my arrival at Cardiff in Sept ‘01, and during the time I’ve had paintballs shot at my “rear”, presented weekend shows in Nov ‘01 and have been working hard with all the Xpress members to make the ‘02 broadcast the best yet. Get a spanner and twist your dials to 87.9fm on your old fashioned wireless, set the dog/ flat mate/ Bart Simpson alarm clock to wake you up (or even wake up to Xpress if you have a posh post-80’s hi-fi) and listen in at 8.am. We’ll bring you the best music (a selection that no radio station comes close to matching), a chance to win some fab prizes (or listen to someone win them), sidewalk travel reports – so you know which pavements are blocked on the travel into lectures and lot’s more. Be warned if you’re around the union between 8-10am too, you may unwittingly provide entertainment.
W/C 27.04.02
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
00:00-02:00
Silver Jubilee
SBN
Craig Pilling on SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
Xpress Thru the Night Xpress Thru the Night Early morning Xpress
Xpress Thru the night Xpress Thru the night Early Morning Xpress
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
SBN
08:00-10:00
Ben Clifton
Jamie Dunbar
Roop Jones
Roop Jones
Roop Jones
Roop Jones
Roop Jones
10:00-11:30
Gareth Hiscocks
Gareth Hiscocks
Donna Edmund
Suzanne Carter
Donna Edmund
Suzanne Carter
Suzanne Carter
11:30-13:00
Helen and Ayla
Donna Edmund
Sim and Sam
Sim and Sam
Sim and Sam
Sim and Sam
Sim and Sam
13:00-15:00
Jamie Dunbar
Pete King
Elaye Clark
Elaye Clark
Elaye Clark
Elaye Clark
Elaye Clark
15:00-17:00
Pete King
Soul Inspiration
Jodie Campbell
Jodie Campbell
Jodie Campbell
Jodie Campbell
Jodie Campbell
17:00-19:00
Final Score
Sports Round up
Emma G-C
Emma G-C
Emma G-C
Emma G-C
Emma G-C
19:00-19:30
SBN
Priority
News Programme
SBN
The Matt Willis Film Show
News Programme
19:30-21:00
SBN
L’America Live
Cool House
SBN
Priority
Higher Learning
21:00-22:30
Nick Lambert
Java-Live
The Infirmary with Adam Brooks
Beat Suite with Chico Fresco
Higher Learning
Vicki Blight
Bhangra
22:30-00:00
That Rock Show
The Late Beat with Elaye Clarke
Fridge
That Rock Show
Rakhi and Krupa
One Mission
One Mission
02:00-04:00 04:00-06:00 06:00-08:00
National Student Chart Show National Student Chart Show
The Xpress Radio News Team will provide bulletins @ 0830, 0930, 1330, 1630. “SBN” refers to the Student Broadcast Network
Programme until Thursday 2nd May. Please ring the information line for this weekend’s listings. ABOUT A BOY (12) 11.00 12.30 1.20 3.00 3.50 5.30 6.20 8.10 8.50
STAR WARS EPISODE II : ATTACK OF THE CLONES (CERT TBC)
11.40 2.30 5.15 8.10 Late Night Show - Fri & Sat only 11.00
Opens Thursday 16th May Book your tickets from Thursday 18 th April 10.00 11.00 12.00 1.00 2.00 3.15 4.15 5.15 6.30 7.30 8.30 - Thursday to Sunday 9.45 Thursday to Saturday only 11.00 1.00 1.30 2.00 4.15 4.45 5.15 6.30 7.30 8.00 8.30 - Mon to Thur Late Night Show - Fri & Sat Only 10.45 11.45
THE SCORPION KING (12)
THE PANIC ROOM (15)
Late Night Show- Fri & Sat only 10.50 11.20
JOHN Q (15)
11.40 2.00 4.15 6.30 9.00 Late Night Show - Fri & Sat only 11.30
Advance Screenings Thursday only 11.00 1.20 3.45 6.10 8.40
THE ONE (15)
ICE AGE (U)
11.45 2.15 4.30 Except Sat & Sun 6.45 9.10 Except Weds Late Night Show - Fri & Sat only 11.30
K-PAX (15)
Subtitled Print Sunday only 11.00 12.50
BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM (12) 11.30 2.10 3.30 5.00 6.15 8.00 9.00 12.30 Except Fri
ROADKILL (15) 11.30 1.45 4.15 6.45 9.15 - Fri & Sat only 11.10 1.20 3.40 6.10 8.40 - Sun - Thur only Late Night Show - Fri & Sat only 11.40
ITALIAN FOR BEGINNERS (15) 11.50 2.20 5.20 8.20
THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (PG) 11.30 Except Sun 2.30 5.20 8.20 Daily Late Night Show - Fri & Sat only 11.30
QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (15) 11.10 Except Sat & Sun 1.30 3.50 Except Sat, Sun & Weds 6.10 8.50 Daily Late Night show - Fri & Sat only 11.20
BLADE 2 (18)
24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE (18)
11.50 Except Sat & Sun 3.15 6.15 9.10 Late Night Show - Fri & Sat only 11.50
11.30 Except Sat 3.10 6.10 8.15
CROSSROADS (PG)
ALI G INDAHOUSE (15)
ICE AGE (U)
Not Showing Thurs 11.50 2.30 4.50
Not showing Thurs 7.00 9.20 Late Night Show - Fri & Sat only 11.30
Sat & Sun only 11.30 1.30 3.45
E.T.(U)
RETURN TO NEVERLAND (U)
Sat only 11.30
JIMMY NEUTRON - BOY GENIUS (U)
Sat & Sun only 11.00 12.50 2.40 4.30
UGC KIDS
11.40 Except Thurs 2.30 5.20 Daily 8.20 Except Tuesday Late Night Show - Fri & Sat only 11.10
Sat & Sun only 11.10 1.10
GAIR RHYDD FILM CLUB Wednesday only £2.00 per ticket The Insider (15) Starts 2.00 Ends 5.00
SENIOR SCREEN THURSDAY MORNINGS £1.70 per ticket Maverick (PG) Starts 11.00 Ends 1.00
Saturday Morning only £1.50 per ticket Cats and Dogs (PG) Starts 10.00 Ends 11.25
Love Sport? Fancy interviewing John Hartson, Ryan Giggs, Craig Bellamy, Iestyn Harris, John Charles, Robert Croft... ...Get vital experience in running a newspaper, writing, designing, editing …
...This looks awesome on your CV, experience is essential in in any media career… ...Arrange interviews with your hero’s, meet true legends…
...Come and join the most exciting and controversial section of the paper…
You need to be willing to choose our editorial line, organise over twenty writers, photographers and sub-editors. Writing ability and an eye for design would be useful attributes. We work hard but its a labour of love, generally on a Thursday night, so our readership of 15, 000 Cardiff Students get the latest on University and National Sport. If you think you can improve our coverage next year contact us a.s.a.p
...|f you’ve still got years left at University, make sure you make the most of your time...
Are you the next Gair Rhydd Sport Editor? email grsport@hotmail.com or come to our 4th floor office
IMG
2001 2002 2 for
ITS ALL OVER. All the blood, tears, sweat, bottle bongs, beers and singing in Jive is consigned to the memory bank until next year. The football this year was of an almost unrivalled standard and in our next issue, Gair Rhydd Sport will bring you a comprehensive round-up. We will feature the final group tables, along with Divisional round-ups and exclusive news of the IMG awards. Also reviewed will be the exciting Rugby IMG AND the fastly progressing Netball leagues. It’s been an emotional year for all involved, so make sure you pick up your copy of Gair Rhydd next week.
40p
All flavours of Walkers Square Crisps
2 for 75p Cadbury's Dairy Milk, Whole Nut, Fruit & Nut KINGSIZE Until the end of term.
Tel: 029 20 781472 E-mail shops@cardiff.ac.uk
www.cardiffstudents.com
email grsport@hotmail.com
Monday 29th April / Sport Page 18
Will Irish eyes be smiling in Japan?
IRELAND EXPECTS: Under the spotlight this week are the Republic of Ireland, who under the astute management of Mick McCarthy have qualified at the expense of the much fancied Dutch and survived a tricky playoff against Iran Words by Chris Evans AFTER THE heroics of the Republic of Ireland’s campaigns in both the World Cups of 1990 and 1994, the country labelled a stern, plucky Northerner as their new messiah. But while Jack Charlton was also a legend in England due to his 1966 exploits, the current manager was a relative unknown. Barnsley born Mick McCarthy has, like his predecessor, nurtured a group of gritty players but has witnessed the advent of a new era where he can present eleven players of true Premiership quality, rather than having to cope with a smattering of stars, and a number of ‘good’ club players. McCarthy succeeded Charlton in 1996 when the nation’s football team was in a transitional period resulting in failure to qualify for both the
98’ World Cup and the 2000 European Championships. Surprisingly, Big Mick chose to play the group’s favourites, and semi-finalists at the previous Euro Championships, Holland and Portugal, as their first two games in World Cup Qualification. If this decision had backfired, many suggested that McCarthy’s short reign as manager would come to an abrupt end.
“The majority of the squad is not in doubt, with the spine of the team filled by seasoned stars” Two years on and Ireland progress to the Far East with a degree of confidence after destroying Holland’s World Cup dreams with an unforgettable 1-0 victory over the tangerine army from a Jason McAteer goal.
The majority of the squad is not in doubt with the spine of the team filled by seasoned stars such as Shay Given in goal, Roy Keane, Robbie Keane and veteran Steve Staunton. Steve Finnan has emerged for Fulham in his first Premiership season and should be a staple performer this summer. Liverpool target Damien Duff has started to mature and has developed as a tantalising winger cum striker in the Ryan Giggs mould. His rich promise should blossom when playing with the finest footballers on the globe and, coupled with the attacking prowess of Leeds fullback Ian Harte, presents a potentially match-winning left-sided duo. The importance of both Keane’s is unquestionable but whereas Roy has again been one of the finest performers in the world this season, Robbie has endured a
DAYS UNTIL THE WORLD CUP
32
NEXT ISSUE: GR Sport examine the chances of the host nations Japan and South Korea. We also look at the man who could re-ignite the chances of the Germany, Bayer Leverkusen’s Michael Ballack and Brazil’s prodigal son, Ronaldo frustrating season for Leeds where he has had to play understudy to Viduka and Fowler. McCarthy will hope he will emerge with a point to prove and display frightening vigour to match his mesmeric skill and flair. Up front Niall Quinn will accompany, and dwarf, Clinton Morrison in one of the
striking berths. McCarthy’s men begin their championship against those sleeveless African Champions Cameroon on June 1, then will face Germany on June 5 and Saudi Arabia six days later. With what is probably the most consistent and exciting group of players in the Republic’s history, it has been
testament to McCarthy that a large chunk of the footballing fraternity feel they may do better than their English counterparts. Maybe Mick McCarthy thinks this too but he’s not saying anything. He’s too plucky for that. And he’s Northern. It all bodes rather well already doesn’t it?
Euro qualification poles apart from Nigeria Words by Pete Samson
Le Champions Words by David Williams
IN THE summer of 1998 the streets of Paris came alive as the whole of France celebrated their achievement of conquering the football world. Now, four years on, Roger Lemerre’s team are aiming to repeat their triumph in the Far East as they seek to become only the second country to win the World Cup outside of their continent and only the third to win back to back World Cups. With experienced players like Didier Deschamps and Laurent Blanc out of the picture, the reins of the French side have been left to a new generation of players. Lillian Thuram, Bixente Lizarazu, Emmanuelle Petit and Marcell Desailly will provide the backbone of the team along with Manchester United’s keeper Fabien Barthez. The success of this team will also revolve around France’s Arsenal based players, who have been in top form this season. Patrick Vieira, Thierry Henry and Sylvain Wiltord will provide the impetus for France’s attacks as they look to secure the Premiership title, but they will have to be without the injured Robert Pires.
The newly crowned Football Writers player of the year will not be able to show off his Gallic flair which earned him the award after he was stretched off in the FA Cup replay against Newcastle. But, with Zinedine Zidane in their side, any team facing them will be in for a tough ninety minutes. Senegal, who France play in the opening match of the competition and who are playing in their first World Cup, could provide a banana skin which France will have to be careful not to slip up on. They then face Uruguay, a team who were the last to qualify for the 2002 World Cup, but who have several players like Alvaro Recoba who can win a match single-handedly. Denmark, who France has met in the last two major competitions, will determine whom they will play in the second round. If results go as expected, that may mean a meeting with England. But, with so many world class players in their squad and with no other team coming into form, it looks as though France will be odds on favourites to lift the gold trophy and send the streets of Paris into complete ecstasy.
NIGERIAN-BORN Emmanuel Olisadebe is the unlikely figure who has fired Poland into their first World Cup since 1986. It is easy to forget that Poland were once one of Europe’s finest sides. They beat Brazil to third place in the 1974 World Cup in Germany and toppled France to achieve the same position in 1982. But since 1986 Polish soccer has burnt out and has been waiting for someone to drag it from the ashes. When that man came it was from the most unlikely of places – Nigeria. Olisadebe was discovered by Polish scouts while playing for Nigerian side Jasper United. He joined the unfashionable Polonia Warsaw – traditionally relegation strugglers – and
led them to an unprecedented league and cup double in the 2000 season. A campaign then began to secure the penalty box predator Polish citizenship. And on the eve of Poland’s first World Cup qualifier the striker was granted Polish nationality – but not without controversy. Olisadebe struggled to overcome a barrage of racial abuse as one of very few black citizens in Poland. An incident during his early days illustrates the racism he had to overcome. “I took the ball to the corner flag and all of a sudden it was as if it was raining bananas,” the 23year-old recalled. “Around 50 or so came pouring down on me. I was in shock but I guess I’ve got to live with it”. “I think they weren’t
used to seeing black people.” However since then Olisadebe has won over the majority of Polish fans. The first black player ever to represent the Polish national team has scored seven goals as Poland became the first European team to qualify for Japan and Korea. Welsh fans will remember him scoring when Poland won at the Millennium Stadium in their qualifying match in June. He is often asked why he joined Poland coach Jerzy Engel’s World Cup mission in the face of such abuse. But after being constantly overlooked by Nigeria he claims the decision was an easy one. “I knew I might play for Nigeria some day but the trouble was I did not know when,” he explained. “I was playing in Poland,
in Europe, playing well, scoring goals, won the league and never received a call-up. “It is not only about football. With Polish citizenship I could do other important things after retiring from football. “I still have Nigerian blood flowing in my veins and nobody can take that away.” Nigeria’s loss is certainly Poland’s gain. In a relatively easy group with South Korea, Portugal and the USA second place and a second round game is certainly within their grasp. As for Olisadebe, expect to see a lot more of the striker after the tournament. Olisadebe is currently playing with Panathanaikos but a move to one of Europe’s top leagues beckons – with Juventus the likely destination for the prolific scorer.
Last chance saloon for Maldini Words by Pete Samson JAPAN AND KOREA is surely Paulo Maldini’s last chance of lifting the World Cup after failing with his last three attempts. His side lost in the semi-finals of Italia 90 and the final of USA 94. This year the Italy captain hopes he can help his side to go all the way. For the most capped Italian player of all time the hunger still burns to lift football’s ultimate trophy. The 33-year-old has feasted on success with club side AC Milan – the
only club he has ever played for. He has won six Italian titles and three European Cups. However, Paulo’s achievements at club level have only made his international angst harder to swallow. He talks about previous World Cups as a painful experience. He claims being knocked out by Argentina in Italy is his worst football moment. “This is the saddest memory because we had everything you need to go on and win the tournament,” he said. “A major title win with
Italy is the only one thing I’m missing. “I realise that this World Cup will be my last chance. I don’t want to go on for too long.” The only defender ever to win the prestigious World Soccer Player of the Year award, Maldini is widely
Maldini: Can he finally do it?
regarded as the best leftback of all time. Lifting the World Cup would only confirm that suggestion. It would also provide a wonderful swansong after he confirmed he will retire from International football after the tournament.
email grsport@hotmail.com
Monday 29nd April / Sport Page19
Calzaghe prepares for Hopkins stadium bout Report by Matt Greenhill IN ONE of the best world title fights ever seen in Wales, last Saturday night saw Joe Calzaghe win a comprehensive but albeit enduring contest against the former American IBF titleholder Charles Brewer. A capacity crowd of 5,000 passionate supporters filled Cardiff International Arena to witness Calzaghe complete a perfect 10th defence of his WBO super-middleweight title and the 33rd victory of his career. The 12round slugfest totally encapsulated and enthralled audiences worldwide and reflected Calzaghe’s mantel as Britain’s best boxer and one of the World’s most elite fighters. In one of the most frenetic and exhausting fights in recent years Calzaghe threw an astonishing 738 punches and continuously connected with the chin and body of Brewer. However, the quick outcome that had been predicted never materialised as no matter what Calzaghe took to Brewer, he just simply absorbed the punishment and incredibly held on for the 12 gruelling rounds. "I thought he was supposed to have a weak chin, but he took everything I threw at him," said the 30-year Newbridge southpaw. "Give him full credit. He dug deep and showed everyone the true champion he his." In return, Brewer accepted graciously that a better fighter had beaten him. "He’s the champion and he showed he’s the champion," admitted Brewer. Calzaghe’s speed was the
“I could stick it up the English”
most significant difference, which enabled him to move around the ring with incredible changes of direction and pace. Like his footwork, Calzaghe’s speed of hands was just as impressive. Throughout the twelve Interview by David Williams and James Tomlinson rounds Calzaghe produced many lightening quick WITH A HEAVY defeat in their returned from their tour of combinations which took the first Championship match of South Africa unbeaten. first two or three punches for the season, it looks like another With youngsters Mark Brewer to realise that he was tough summer ahead for the Wallace and Simon Jones being caught. Glamorgan players and returning from the ECB To Brewer’s credit though, coaching staff. Academy and the capture of he simply wouldn’t be After relegation from the first Australian paceman Mike knocked down and defiantly division of the County Kasprowicz as Glamorgan’s took in everything Calzaghe Championship, new coach oversees player, the prospects had to offer him. John Derrick is confident that for the season look promising. But the night belonged to they will be able to bounce Indeed, Wallace, with his Wales and Calzaghe and the back straight away; maiden first class century, and focus of attention now is on "The atmosphere is very Jones, with six wickets in the the undefeated champion’s good, the team spirit is first innings against Derbyshire, next encounter. excellent. The aim is to get were the only players who With every punch thrown back in the first division and seemed to have found their against Brewer, Calzaghe keep going the way we played pre-season form. inched closer and closer to his last year in the Sunday League." Coach Derrick is keen to see dream fight against the That team spirit will have the younger players make a undisputed world middleweight been tested after a 163-run name for themselves; champion, Bernard Hopkins, at home loss to Derbyshire, the "We’ve got a very young the Millennium Stadium that side who finished bottom last squad and it’s nice to see them could be arranged for the year, and who many predicted coming up. It would be nice to middle of this summer. to do the same this term. see Simon Jones have a full "I just want a big fight," Pre-season form had looked season and show what he can said Calzaghe. "I feel I good after the county had do. It would be nice to see him proved that I’m not just one of the super-middle champions, I’m the champion. Now I want to step up a level and face someone like Hopkins. Calzaghe’s promoter, Frank Warren, has long been aiming to stage a big fight at the Millennium Stadium after being impressed by recent attendances at the International Arena. With Hopkins being quoted last week as wanting to come to Wales, it seems that both boxers could be squaring up to each other in the capital PHOTO: DAVID WILLIAMS come August. Glamorgan coach, John Derrick
Robert Croft on Wales V England
“ We’re struggling to keep up with the big boys. We’ll find it hard to keep up but being a Welsh club, and the only club in Wales, we get very good support.”
as they prepare for a parttime existence in the Conference. In stark contrast to Halifax Town are Manchester City, a team who once again have a spring in their step as they advance menacingly back to the Premiership. After scoring well in excess of 100 goals this season, it would be fair to describe Manchester City and Kevin Keegan as a match made in heaven, as the loyal City faithful have finally embraced a new messiah. No doubt they will make a mark on the Premiership next year. Up with City go the miserly West Brom, who won a staggering 26 games 1-0. Gary Megson must unquestionably be a candidate for manager of the season as his side squeezed out Wolves,
who had an excellent season under Dave Jones. Wolves are the bookies favourites to join Man City and West Brom in the topflight, but will face stiff competition from Norwich, Millwall and Birmingham City, who have improved under the management of the loyal Steve Bruce. Stockport County, Barnsley and Crewe Alexandra are the sides who drop down to Division Two. Rotherham United, under the guidance of the superb Ronnie Moore, live to fight another season in the First Division. Sticking my neck firmly on the line, I predict Wolves and Hartlepool for respective play-off glory. And in the Second Division? Well of course it will be Cardiff City who join Brighton and Reading in Division One
have a good run.” With the Derbyshire match aside Glamorgan will want to improve vastly on last years Championship performances and their Benson and Hedges Cup exploits, a competition in which they failed to win a match last time round. After deciding not to tour with England in the winter, spinner Robert Croft is looking forward to the new season; “It’s been a bit of a break for me over the winter so I’m raring to go. I want to take as many wickets as possible and score as many runs.” With the touring Sri Lankans playing at Sofia Gardens, Croft still has the ambition to play Test match cricket; “I haven’t given up hope. Perhaps as you get older things become a bit harder. I stand by the decisions I made just after September 11th and I can just go out and play and if the England call comes then great.” And, Croft, a proud Welshman, is also looking forward to the inaugural Wales against England match at
Cardiff in June; “Form and fitness permitting, if I get selected, it will be a very proud day for me if I could pull the Welsh jersey on, and stick it up the English.” June is also a crucial month in the Championship, when Glamorgan face Middlesex back to back. An encounter which will bring back fond memories for Adrian Dale, who, after 13 years at the county, is celebrating his benefit year; “Plans are all in place. We’ve got about fifty functions during the year already pencilled in. It’s an ongoing thing now.” Over those 13 years, Dale sees one player who stands out as his favourite; “My personal favourite is Waqar (Younis). He’s a great guy, great player, just awesome to rub shoulders with such a great player.” Hopefully Glamorgan will still be able to attract such illustrious players in the future, despite fears over their financial position in the second division.
Cont. from Back Page
Do I not like that... Something on your chest? Riled by our report? email grsport@hotmail.com or listen to the Sports Show Sunday 5pm-7pm X-Press 87.9. Phone 02920 781530
Letter of the Week Dear Gair Rhydd, While its always nice to see a profile of the immense Steven Gerrard, the man who should captain England, it was a shame you filled your report with errors. Maybe you would like me to write the sports pages from now on. Was Kevin Keegan the England manager at the '98 World Cup? Was Steven Gerrard there? No, I don't think they were. The lad deserves credit, but at least for the right tournaments. Andrew Beasley
Our Gerrard howler
GR Sport: What can we say, we’ve let the sport media community down. Pearlo, our sports editor, sits next to me now, head in hands, tears dripping down his Spurs shirt. A school boy error, but in answer to your point, get down here and write for us, we always need journalists, this piece was produced in the middle of the night cause we’re so short of contributors. You can even be Sports Editor if you think you’re so big time. Hope to see you Monday, 1.15 in our media suite at the top of the Students’ Union.
Champions League turn-off Dear GR Sport, The Champions League is appaling. Who gives a damn who wins this Mickey Mouse competition, apart from a bunch of southerners who follow Man Utd from their arm chairs. The format is a laughable way to generate more money from us trusting supporters. The play-offs are where it’s at, every student in Cardiff should see as many matches in the stadium as possible, forget the b***cks, so called Champions League. Chris Gommarsal, JOMEC GR Sport: Though you raise some interesting points, particularly that the Champions League format is ridiculous and has shown that a Super League wouldn’t work, your attack on Man Utd is generally unsubstantiated (though it is one
that we all subscribe to). The playoffs do provide guaranteed entertainment, and will hopefully provide the Nationwide league with some much needed support after some bad press over the situation with ITV Digital. GR Sport,
Spor t show blues I am disgusted that radio programmes like phone-ins on Talk Radio seem to concentrate on Birmingham and Wolves and their failure to gain promotion rather than the remarkable exploits of West Brom. Birmingham are now a joke. An embittered Baggies fan. True words. For fairer coverage, listen to The Gair Rhydd Sports Show, every Sunday 5pm till 7pm on X-Press. FM 87.9. It’s nothing but controversial. Phone us 02920 781530.
GR Sport will almost certainly print your letter, so get writing and get your views read by 14,000 people. The views expressed in these letters are not necessarily those of the newspaper or the editor.
The Week In Sport Embassy World Championship, BBC television, finishes May 6th League playoff semi-finals, 2nd Leg, ITV Sport Digital May 1th FA Cup Finals, Millennium Stadium, BBC Television, May 4th Women’s FA Cup Final, Millennium Cup Final, May 6th Novotel Perrier Open de France, Le Golf National, Paris, May 2-5 Hockey EHL Premiership Finals, Manchester, May 4th- 6th 2,000/4000 Guineas from New Market, May 4th- 5th World Sailing Championship, Portofino, Italy, May 1st ATP Masters Series, Rome 6-12 May WTA Tour, Eurocard German Open, Berlin, 6-1§2 May WWF RAW, from the US, 3rd May on Sky Sports WWF Smackdown, from the US 4th May on Sky Sports Bolton V Arsenal, Monday, Sky Sports 29th May Glamorgan County Cricket Club. All Summer, Sophia Gardens. Equestrianism from Badminton May 2-5 IAAF Half-marathon championships, Eurosport, May 5th
“I can’t wait to pull on a Welsh shirt and stick it up the English” Robert Croft speaks to GR Sport, page 19
gair rhydd
World Cup
Crofty
We investigate Poland’s first black player, their brightest hope this summer
Robert Croft helps us preview the Glamorgan season
Sport email grsport@hotmail.com
Monday 29nd April / Free Word 719
Hockey finalists lead CU charge
PHOTO: CHRIS JACKSON
The Cardiff Hockey team show their steel
Play-off fever hits Cardiff
Report by Michael Pearlman, Sports Editor
Nick King reporting
Welsh Cup Results W. Hockey
1-2
Glamorgan
M. Hockey
7-0
Swansea
Netball 1sts 61-45 M. Rugby Football 2nds
18-21 3-1
Aberystwth Medics Glamorgan
CARDIFF UNIVERSITY Men’s Hockey defeated Swansea in the semi-final of the Welsh Cup competition, and will be favourites to take retain their title. This capped an excellent round in the Welsh Cup, which saw Men’s Hockey, Women’s Hockey and the Football 2nds
setting up final clashes. Cardiff were well below their best and were missing a number of players, yet despite this they were able to put seven unanswered goals past a helpless Swansea defence. Cardiff’s mediocrity was made to look like the stuff of world beaters by a dire Swansea outfit, who found themselves heavily outclassed from the open minute to a final whistle that they were only too glad to hear. The goals came from Davies, Cooper and Burns; there could have been many more but Cardiff were happy to showboat and conserve energy on a hot afternoon at Talybont. The reigning champions now go through
to the final next week with high hopes of bringing the trophy back to Cardiff once again after last’s seasons 12-2 demolition of a hapless Aberystwyth in the final. Cardiff University’s Burns, Cooper and Collis were selected to play for the Welsh Presidents XI against the Canadian national team on Wednesday evening, but were unable to stop a slick and powerful Canadian outfit from running out four nil winners. Burns and Cooper will also play for the full Welsh team this weekend against the tourists, hoping for strong performances to book their places in the final sixteen to go to this summers Commonwealth games.
AS ITV Digital discover that a monkey and a boisterous Nick Hancock are by nomeans a guarantee of success, it is the football league clubs who may well count the costs of the ITV Digital fiasco. Whilst increased ticket prices have stung the average fan, the collapse of ITV Digital could very well deliver a terminal blow to many clubs such as Bury, who may well never get the chance to bounce back to the Second Division. Cardiff City will certainly be hoping to leave behind Division Two, after a quite sensational run under new boss Lennie Lawrence lifted them into the play-off places. The Bluebirds will now face Stoke City in the twolegged semi-final, which is
fitting for Graham Kavanagh and Peter Thorne who will relish the opportunity to consign their former club to another year in the Division. Huddersfield Town will face the unfortunate Brentford in the other semi-final, after Brentford failed to get the final day win they required to leapfrog Reading, who were automatically promoted along with Brighton, Champions for the second season in succession. While Cardiff enjoyed a degree of success once again, Welsh neighbours Wrexham were relegated along with Bournemouth, Bury and Cambridge United, setting up a date at the Vetch Field next term. In the Third Division Plymouth surprised many by
accruing 102 points, but under the shrewd stewardship of Paul Sturrock, they were the team to catch for most of the season. They are joined by Joe Kinnear's Luton and Mansfield, a side who clinched promotion on the final day of the season. Cheltenham Town, Rochdale, Rushden and Diamonds and Jeff Stelling's beloved Hartlepool will fight it out for the final spot in Division Two, as Rushden bid to go up twice in as many years. Spare a thought though for Halifax Town, the claimants of English football's ultimate wooden spoon, relegation from the football league. The club faces an uncertain future and have indeed released all but one of their players,
Continued on page 19
GAIR RHYDD IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN ■ TEL: (029) 2078 1400 EXT. 434 ■ REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE ■ PRINTED AT WEST COUNTRY PUBLICATIONS, PLYMOUTH ■ THE GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS ■ THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS ■ THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF, UNIVERSITY OF WALES ■ NEVER LET COBLEY GET PIZZA AGAIN ■ CRICKET, ICE CREAM, STRAWBERRY SAUCE ■ THANKS CAZ THOMMO, MCCULLOUGHFOR ENGLAND ■ PAPER SCISSORS STONE
“I can’t wait to pull on a Welsh shirt and stick it up the English” Robert Croft speaks to GR Sport, page 19
gair rhydd
World Cup
Crofty
We investigate Poland’s first black player, their brightest hope this summer
Robert Croft helps us preview the Glamorgan season
Sport email grsport@hotmail.com
Monday 29nd April / Free Word 719
Hockey finalists lead CU charge
PHOTO: CHRIS JACKSON
The Cardiff Hockey team show their steel
Play-off fever hits Cardiff
Report by Michael Pearlman, Sports Editor
Nick King reporting
Welsh Cup Results W. Hockey
1-2
Glamorgan
M. Hockey
7-0
Swansea
Netball 1sts 61-45 M. Rugby Football 2nds
18-21 3-1
Aberystwth Medics Glamorgan
CARDIFF UNIVERSITY Men’s Hockey defeated Swansea in the semi-final of the Welsh Cup competition, and will be favourites to take retain their title. This capped an excellent round in the Welsh Cup, which saw Men’s Hockey, Women’s Hockey and the Football 2nds
setting up final clashes. Cardiff were well below their best and were missing a number of players, yet despite this they were able to put seven unanswered goals past a helpless Swansea defence. Cardiff’s mediocrity was made to look like the stuff of world beaters by a dire Swansea outfit, who found themselves heavily outclassed from the open minute to a final whistle that they were only too glad to hear. The goals came from Davies, Cooper and Burns; there could have been many more but Cardiff were happy to showboat and conserve energy on a hot afternoon at Talybont. The reigning champions now go through
to the final next week with high hopes of bringing the trophy back to Cardiff once again after last’s seasons 12-2 demolition of a hapless Aberystwyth in the final. Cardiff University’s Burns, Cooper and Collis were selected to play for the Welsh Presidents XI against the Canadian national team on Wednesday evening, but were unable to stop a slick and powerful Canadian outfit from running out four nil winners. Burns and Cooper will also play for the full Welsh team this weekend against the tourists, hoping for strong performances to book their places in the final sixteen to go to this summers Commonwealth games.
AS ITV Digital discover that a monkey and a boisterous Nick Hancock are by nomeans a guarantee of success, it is the football league clubs who may well count the costs of the ITV Digital fiasco. Whilst increased ticket prices have stung the average fan, the collapse of ITV Digital could very well deliver a terminal blow to many clubs such as Bury, who may well never get the chance to bounce back to the Second Division. Cardiff City will certainly be hoping to leave behind Division Two, after a quite sensational run under new boss Lennie Lawrence lifted them into the play-off places. The Bluebirds will now face Stoke City in the twolegged semi-final, which is
fitting for Graham Kavanagh and Peter Thorne who will relish the opportunity to consign their former club to another year in the Division. Huddersfield Town will face the unfortunate Brentford in the other semi-final, after Brentford failed to get the final day win they required to leapfrog Reading, who were automatically promoted along with Brighton, Champions for the second season in succession. While Cardiff enjoyed a degree of success once again, Welsh neighbours Wrexham were relegated along with Bournemouth, Bury and Cambridge United, setting up a date at the Vetch Field next term. In the Third Division Plymouth surprised many by
accruing 102 points, but under the shrewd stewardship of Paul Sturrock, they were the team to catch for most of the season. They are joined by Joe Kinnear's Luton and Mansfield, a side who clinched promotion on the final day of the season. Cheltenham Town, Rochdale, Rushden and Diamonds and Jeff Stelling's beloved Hartlepool will fight it out for the final spot in Division Two, as Rushden bid to go up twice in as many years. Spare a thought though for Halifax Town, the claimants of English football's ultimate wooden spoon, relegation from the football league. The club faces an uncertain future and have indeed released all but one of their players,
Continued on page 19
GAIR RHYDD IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN ■ TEL: (029) 2078 1400 EXT. 434 ■ REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE ■ PRINTED AT WEST COUNTRY PUBLICATIONS, PLYMOUTH ■ THE GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS ■ THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS ■ THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF, UNIVERSITY OF WALES ■ NEVER LET COBLEY GET PIZZA AGAIN ■ CRICKET, ICE CREAM, STRAWBERRY SAUCE ■ THANKS CAZ THOMMO, MCCULLOUGHFOR ENGLAND ■ PAPER SCISSORS STONE