“I froze my ass off all day, I looked like a right pleb in my seminar.”
Rugby World Cup
BUSA
Are Wales going to make the quarter-finals? It’s going to be a close one p29
Match reports, interviews and results, yes results! p30
Beca Murphy, p31
email grsport@cf.ac.uk
25 October 2003 - Issue 747
SUCCESS
‘Get Your Kit On’ raises £800 for charity
By Tom Brown AU President LAST WEDNESDAY SAW the start of the new "Get Your Kit On" campaign within Cardiff University. It was a very important event, as it promoted all sport within the University. This is crucial in the current environment of uncertainty regarding the merger with UWCM and the potential that Wednesday afternoons may gradually be consumed by lectures. It was a huge success, seeing people from all clubs and teams participating in and supporting the cam-
paign. Lectures were given to audiences comprising of an assortment of American footballers, scuba divers, fencers, cricketers and many more all in their full club kits. I would like to say a massive thank you to all those that made the effort and took part, especially considering it was the coldest day of the year so far. Wednesday night’s Rubber Duck saw an equally good turn out, including those in surf, lacrosse and cheerleading kit. The raffle was a very popular addition to the night and was possible due to the generosity of Asda, Brains, Astoria, Fitness First, CIA, UGC,
Blackwells, Royworld and Endsleigh. Congratulations to all those individuals and clubs that won prizes. All in all, the campaign was a great success and has raised over £800 for the Global Football Challenge in aid of the Red Cross Disaster Fund. However, the event would not have been possible without the efforts of all the volunteers from the Global Football Challenge team, cheerleading squad and the Rag team. The success that this pilot event has had here in Cardiff will hopefully encourage other universities and organisations to take it on as well, thereby making it a national fundrais-
ing project. NUS and BUSA, the largest two student organisations within the UK, and other AU presidents have already expressed support and encouragement towards a national ‘Get Your Kit On’ campaign for 2004 and 2005. If all goes to plan this will become one of the largest student campaigns ever, taking place every year. One thing that has been learnt, however, is that it might be better to hold the event later in the year, when clubs will have had more time to prepare and the weather will be somewhat warmer.
GAIR RHYDD IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN ■ TEL: (029) 2078 1400 EXT. 434 ■ REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE ■ PRINTED SHARMANS LTD. ■ GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS ■ THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS ■ GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF, UNIVERSITY OF WALES ■ TRISTAN’S DAD DEVASTATED TO HEAR OF SON’S ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE ■ WEARING CLOTHES IN CREATION IS OVERRATED ■ MOOO ■ IF MY AUNT HAD BOLLOX SHE’D BE MY UNCLE ■ MIKE RABJOHN’S SHAME PART ONE: I CAN’T GET THAT BLAZIN’SQUAD SONG OUT OF MY HEAD - IT’S PRETTY GOOD; PART 2: I BARE MY ARSE CHEEKS FOR FUN
“
Now it’s our turn to put some points on the board. This puts us back into the race IMG round up from Beca Murphy
Team focus this week: the Rifle Club
p30
p31 COMMENT. Below
”
Cardiff Devils coach Glen Mulvenna, October 2003 Issue 747 25 October 2003 Sport Editors: Riath Al-Samarrai and David Williams Email: grsport@cf.ac.uk Website: www.gairrhydd.net
University Sport. Pages 30 and 31
Page 29
N-ice start for Devils Flash Gordon seals Blues blow By Ben Wright AFTER A SHAKY START to the season, and having put last year’s misery behind them, the Cardiff Devils have finally found their form. Cardiff ’s early season campaign had more ups and downs than the Big Dipper, but recent results have taken a turn for the better. Canadian Coach Glen Mulvenna said: "It would have been easy to hit the panic button, but we’ve shown great character and desire." Mulvenna is no stranger to tough times. He played in the NHL in the USA and was regarded by many as a tough opponent to face on the ice. Since taking over the coaching role at Cardiff, Mulvenna has certainly instilled character and desire into his players. After twice being dismissed by the Belfast Giants, which saw the Devils get thumped 6-3 away, they picked
themselves up and dusted themselves down to beat Basingstoke Bisons 3-2 and Nottingham Panthers 2-1 in two tough matches. And, in the 4-1 away mauling of Coventry, the grease lightning speed of the ‘Zola of Ice Hockey’, Vezio Sacratini was once again at the thick of the action. A suitably impressed Mulvenna declared after this skilful display, “Now it’s our turn to put some points on the board. This puts us back into the race.” And so it did - until, just when things looked to be on the up for the Devils, they managed to come unstuck again, losing 5-2 to Manchester Phoenix. What must be disheartening for Mulvenna and his coaching staff is that the Devils sadly had the shooting prowess and accuracy of the entire US airforce armed with peashooters. The next month sees the Devils play runaway leaders Belfast Giants as well as the mighty Sheffield Steelers. They will have to show real charachter to come through these two tests.
win for Bluebirds By Matthew Ramsden COVENTRY CITY 1 CARDIFF CITY 3 AFTER A ROCKY period which saw only two points taken out of a possible nine, Cardiff now appear to be back on the road to stability in Division One. A hard fought but ultimately deserved win left Lennie Lawrence’s team just four points off the top six. Having gone behind after only 11 minutes to a spectacular Michael Doyle strike, Cardiff fought back against the run of play with three goals in 12 minutes through Gareth Whalley, Gavin Gordon and the prolific Robert Earnshaw. This sent the Bluebirds into the break 3-1 up and virtually ending the game as a contest. However, Cardiff manager Lennie Lawrence felt that the direction of the desired three points had hinged on the minute leading up to Robert Earnshaw’s penalty that put Cardiff into a two-goal lead. Coventry’s Michael Doyle tumbled in the Cardiff area, but visiting appeals were waved away, only to see referee Eddie Ilderton award a spot kick to Earnshaw at the other end after goalkeeper Shearer’s clumsy challenge. Lawrence felt that this had been a
key turning point in the game, as a converted penalty for Coventry could have put an entirely different complexion on the second half, saying: “I don't think their shout was a penalty but ours definitely was, so we haven't got too many complaints
WORLD CUP 2003 By James Cooke WALES 27 TONGA 20 A FRANTIC LAST five minutes saw Wales survive a tirade of Tongan attacks to claim victory by the slender margin of 27-20. The Pacific Islanders, already beaten by Italy, showed the flair and tenacity that many had hoped to see from Steve Hansen’s men in this tournament. In contrast, a surprisingly reshuffled Welsh side struggled to assert the authority expected of them. Hansen’s decision to start only seven players from game one emphasised Welsh complacency, against a side which has now won only two of their eleven World Cup matches to date and, in their last tournament, suffered the
It was British Lions flanker Martyn Williams though, on as a replacement in the second half, who rescued Wales with an improbable drop goal and a try in a ten-minute spell, providing Wales with what should have been a comfortable two-try advantage. Tonga responded late on, however, to run in their third try of the night through Lavaka and set up a final onslaught. As possession was again overturned
Welsh try scorer, scrum-half Gareth Cooper
By Matthew Viney LLANELLI SCARLETS 35 CARDIFF BLUES 20 CARDIFF BLUES WERE left scratching their heads at Stradey Park after a second half capitulation handed rivals Llanelli Scarlets a 35-20 victory. Cardiff started the game well, and despite going behind to a Gareth Bowen penalty goal after nine minutes, new captain Andy Moore led by example running in the first try of the game on 14 minutes. Nicky Robinson’s accurate kicking then increased their lead when he safely converted Moore’s try and
Cardiff scorer Gavin Gordon about the ref, he got most things right.’’ However, a rain cloud seems to be gathering over Ninian Park in the form of the ongoing collection of suspensions. Richard Langley became the fourth Cardiff player to be hit with a ban after picking up his fourth yellow card, following on from the Selhurst Park dismissals of Andy Campbell and Willie Boland.
Wales thwart Ben Hur’s charges ignominy of a 101-10 defeat to England. Kevin Morgan, Martyn Williams and Robin McBryde were amongst those missing and Iestyn Harris, an inspirational presence against Canada, handed over kicking duties to Stephen Jones. Jones responded, slotting home four penalties and a conversion, but missed three penalties in a crucial second half period that could have seen Wales clear.
big chance
by the physical Tonga pack, neutral fans got behind them, anticipating the first upset of this year’s event. Wales were fortunate to hold on, but Tonga can take some consolation from the new bonus point rule which ensured they didn’t come away completely empty handed. Wales had opened up an 11-3 lead as scrum half Gareth Cooper scampered round the blind side of a Welsh scrum to score on 24 minutes. But a Pierre Hola try brought the South Sea islanders to within four points at half time. After captain Benhur Kivalu guided a Tonga maul over the line on 64 minutes, it was the experienced pros, Harris and Williams, who combined to establish a 12-point lead. Despite the late Lavaka score, a lacklustre Wales side had done just enough to ensure victory. A showdown with Italy is likely to determine who plays a quarter final against England. Welsh fans will grudgingly recall Italy’s victory last time the sides met in the Six nations, and Hansen knows that his men have to improve: “You don’t need to be a rocket scientist, but we have to step it up to win.”
Sin binned; Craig Quinnell then added a 45 metre penalty. A Bowen penalty followed but Cardiff then turned defence into attack when Lee Abdul intercepted Leigh Davies’ sloppy final pass. His 75-metre try gave the Blues a seemingly commanding lead. Davies made amends for the blunder instantly, gathering Bowen’s kick off, allowing Matthew Watkins to run in for a soft five points. The teams then traded penalties with Cardiff maintaining their advantage and a half time lead. However, Cardiff’s scoring touch deserted them in the second half. Bowen pegged the deficit back to one point with a penalty goal 12 minutes in. Cardiff indiscipline then handed Bowen his fifth and sixth penalties of an eventual seven. Tal Selley then seized on a halfway turn over to run in the Scarlets’ second try. The final nail in the Blues coffin was added by Bowen, who saw a 50-metre penalty and touchline conversion soar over, to complete the second half rout. The final score didn’t reflect the game, as Scarlets’ Coach Nigel Davies admitted: "When you look at the scoreboard, it’s hard to see where we won the match." However, this will be scant consolation for a Blues side now languishing in eigth place in the Celtic league.
Sport
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October 25 2003
grsport@cf.ac.uk
SPECTACULAR
Rabs stunner lights up bleak week for Men’s AFC By Si Green and John Tuscany ABERYSTWYTH 4-1 CARDIFF FIRSTS AFTER A PROMISING start to the season, Cardiff Firsts were disappointed to lose 4-1 away in Aberystwyth. Despite being two goals down at half time from defensive errors and a penalty, they got back into the game through a Si Green goal on the hour mark. Cardiff were now well and truly on top but, even with their dominance, possession and chances, they failed to equalise and were also unlucky not to have a penalty of their own after Matt Kay was upended in the box. Two late Aber goals, as Cardiff poured forward,
CLUB FOCUS RIFLE CLUB By Richard Collyer The university rifle club is possibly one of the longest running AU clubs, having been founded 39 years ago. The rifle club also have the misfortune of being probably the least understood club in the AU. The reality of target shooting is very different. It is a very technical sport where technique and a bit of luck need to combine to get a good score on the board. It can be a team or individual event where individual scores are tallied to make a team total. This depends on everyone in the team giving it their best.
flattered them. But mistakes at this level are costly and the Men’s Firsts must learn and regroup before their next BUSA f ixture at home to Trinity. ABERYSTWYTH 2nds 3–3 CARDIFF 2nds
A LAST MINUTE Aber equaliser denied Cardiff all three points in this entertaining 3-3 draw. Played in cold, blustery conditions, the Seconds started slowly and saw little of the ball, despite never really being threatened. As the game settled, so the midfield of James Cain, Paul Avery and Tom Morgan grew in stature, dominating long periods and creating good opportunities for strikers Mike Rabjohns and Danny Gunyon. The sucker punch arrived on 25 minutes, as an Aber forward ghosted into the box, planting an excellent header past the motionless Danny Westwood. It was harsh on the Seconds, but they responded in some style. Showing great character, they fought back to go into the break with a 2-1
At the end of every year there is a national meet up in Appleton Rifle Club. This gives us a change to meet the other teams from around the UK. Throughout the year there is a postal competition which allows teams to shoot a comp card and then send it away for marking. This is called the Top 20, and was won last year by UWIC (boo! hiss!). Most competitions are time limited. For indoor competitions you have 15 minutes to sight your rifle, and make 10 scoring shots. Outdoor competitions vary, however - generally 20 to 60 shots per competition. The uni rifle club competes in local events at Tondu and the Welsh Dragon event at Cardiff. We usually do well in each and come away with a handful of trophies. City of Cardiff Rifle Club provide us with an indoor range where the university has its own armoury and storage. Outdoor ranges are used at Tondu,
advantage. Tom Morgan crashed home a header from a Lloyd Godwin corner, and minutes later a Rabjohns free-kick was glanced home by skipper Jon Forbes. The half time break did little to help Cardiff, losing all momentum and surrendering their lead f ive minutes into the second half to an unmarked volley from six yards. As the twists continued, Cardiff looked to have grabbed the points, the lead being restored with 20 minutes remaining. Gunyon swung in a left wing cross to the edge of the box for Rabjohns, nipping in front of the defender, to volley sweetly past the keeper with his devastating left boot. Just as his strike, worthy of winning any game, seemed to have settled it, victory was snatched from them by a strike just inside Westwood’s near post.
Bisley (Surrey) and Sennybridge. The rifles that are used are Anschutz target rifles (German made). They fire a 0.22 (that’s the calibre in inches) bullet that is made of lead. One question we often get asked is "would they kill you?"; the simple answer is yes. The rifle club currently has 45 members, about 10 female, and we
BUSA
ROUND-UP
Results
Wednesday October 22
Men’s Badminton 1sts
6-2
Gloucester
Men’s Squash 2nds
5-0
Glamorgan
Men’s Football 1sts
1-4
Aberystwyth
Men’s Football 2nds
3-3
Aberystwyth
Men’s Football 3rds
3-0
UWIC
Men’s Rugby 1sts
66 - 0
Southampton Institute
Men’s Rugby 2nds
0 - 10
Swansea
Men’s Rugby 3rds
17 - 6
Swansea
Men’s Hockey 1sts
0-1
Gloucester
Men’s Hockey 2nds
1-2
Exeter
Men’s Hockey 3rds
3-5
Aberystwyth
Men’s Tennis
5-0
Swansea
Men’s Basketball
32 - 83
Oxford
Golf
6-0
Southampton
Women’s Football
3-0
Gloucester
Women’s Hockey 1sts
1-4
Bristol
Women’s Hockey 2nds
1-4
Gloucester
Women’s Hockey 3rds
1-1
Swansea
Netball 1sts
28 - 53
Brunel
Netball 2nds
25 - 31
Exeter
Netball 3rds
33 - 40
Bath
Women’s Basketball
37 - 63
Southampton
Women’s Tennis
5-1
Exeter
Women’s Badminton
2-7
Bath
Women’s Volleyball
3-0
Bath
have a good blend of experienced shooters with new freshers. We can cater for all abilities from complete beginner to international superstar. We hold bi-weekly socials, mainly revolving around the George. We then go on for pub golf, Roy World or similar drunkenness. At the moment we have two mem-
bers who are members of the Welsh National Squad, Robert Riddet and Dave Phelps; both currently coach beginners at the club. Overall rifle shooting is a great sport that not many people get a chance to take part in and it is definately a sport with more bang for your buck.
October 25 2003
Five minute fun
Page 27
grfiveminutefun@cardiff.ac.uk
Just drop this in to us on the Union’s fourth floor, or put it in one of the purple competition boxes around the Union. Name:______________________ Email:______________________ Tiebreak: If you could take anyone for your free meal, who would it be and why? ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Last week’s winner : Noel Douglas wins by default as his tiebreaker sentence was actually coherent
Win a meal for two at the Dalchini Fine Indian Cuisine Restaurant - two meals with rice (excluding king prawn, mixed grill and shashlick). Open Sunday to Thursday, 6pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 6pm-2am. 10 Mackintosh Place, 02920 481805
Send in your jokes and humorous quips to:
grfiveminutefun@cardiff.ac.uk
Forget the cryptic crossword, nothing says academia more than a wordsearch. Find the 12 Cardiff University locations, buildings and venues, then dash up here to choose your reward from our box of random prizes (including a signed photo of Busted, you lucky fellows). Only the bravest need apply. Name: ________________________ Email:_______________________________________ Tiebreak: Tell us why you deserve to shag Justin Timberlake: _________________________ __________________________________________________________________________
The Half-Arsed Quiz 1. What is the name of the new Starsailor album? 2. Which popular character from The Lord Of The Rings book was omitted from the film? 3. Who is Liv Tyler’s famous rock star husband? 4. Who was the first British club side to play Brazil? 5. Joey from Friends was an ass-double for which ridiculously famous actor? 6. What was the name of the British skier who was stripped of his Olympic medal after testing positive for a banned substance in his cold medicine? 1. Silence Is Easy 2. Tom Bombadil 3. Royston Langdon of Spacehog 4. Exeter City 5. Al Pacino 6. Alain Baxter
A little boy comes downstairs to breakfast, and his mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores around the farm where they live. Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens and kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussycat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?
Free Stuff
Page 28
October 25 2003
grcompetitions@cardiff.ac.uk
grab!
“Everyone’s a winner baby, that’s the truth.” Errol Brown
WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN Another week, another load of damn good prizes to get your freezing, flu-ridden mits on. This week we’ve got something to excite all you ladies, with our Miss Selfridge competition, a load more free cinema tickets and if you’re into your dance music, then you’ll get a hard-on about our Tribal Gatherings competition. Plus, there’s still the weekly chance for those of you a bit strapped for cash to live free for a week. To enter any of the competitions on this page, write your answers and details on a postcard, a slip of paper or a fifty pound note, and drop them into the Competitions pigeon-hole in the gair rhydd office, or email them to grcompetitions@cf.ac.uk.
Go Tribal for a weekend If you love dance music you’ll have heard of the Tribal Gathering Weekenders. At a time when the “death of dance music” is the new catchphrase, Tribal continues to prove the doubters wrong time and time again. Over 10,000 people turned up for the Tribal Gathering Warehouse Party on August Bank Holiday weekend, making it without a doubt one of the legendary parties of all time.
The combination of immense talent behind the decks from around the world, superb production rigs of lighting and sound and the truly fantastic Tribalist crowd make the weekends so unique. If you missed the Warehouse Party, fear not, as Tribal Gathering returns for another magical event with their hugely successful Weekender party on November 7-9 2003. Tribal has secured your favourite DJs, including Sasha, Morillo, Sneak, Eron Alkan, Jon Carter, Stanton Warriors, Layo and Bushwacka and many, many more. They’ll be playing extended sets in four arenas: Are You Tribal?, Tribal
Sessions, The Soap Box and Feathers & Facepaint. Tickets for the event are available at www.tribalgathering.co.uk,
or by calling 0161 661 9688 and are priced at £99 each (places can be reserved with a £30 deposit). However, gair rhydd are offering you the chance to win two weekend passes for yourself and a guest. The package includes accommodation for two nights and three days in a fully-equipped self-catering apartment and 48 hours of non-stop Tribalistic mayhem. On-site facilities include shops, restaurants, amusement arcades, an indoor pool and a 24 hour Tribal TV. There’s also a 24 hour alcohol license. Whether you take your partner, mate or grandparent, it’ll be a weekend to remember. A prize this good deserves a lit-
Something for the ladies
Meg gets serious FREE PREVIEW TICKETS!
This week we’re spoiling you with a double whammy of topnotch entertainment courtesy of UGC. Tuesday’s preview screening gives you the chance to see the eagerly awaited new Jane Campion (The Piano) film, In The Cut, starring Meg Ryan in (hold your breath) a serious, edgy role. Like Nicole Kidman did in The Blue Room, Ryan realised that in order to get herself taken seriously as an actress she had to get her kit off. And I don’t hear any complaints. She plays a literature professor who is peripherally involved in a murder investigation, which leads to an
intensely erotic relationship with the investigating detective. But fans of Meg’s usual light family romps, be warned: In The Cut is cold, dark and graphic (I think that’s more of a recommendation than a warning!). The screening is on Tuesday at 6.15 (film starts at 6.30).
Before that though, we’re giving you lot the chance to be critics yourselves, with UGC’s ‘Recommended’ scheme. We invite you and a guest to come along to a screening of a film that won’t be released for a few
Livefree4aweek.net
This week’s winner is Katie Johns, who studies Accounting and Finance at Glamorgan.
tle more effort from your part. We want our gair rhydd representatives to have what it takes to live it up tribal style in the dance party of the year. Basically, we don’t want to risk sending Charles and Mildred in their brown cardigans, taking notes on the ambience on their clipboards, whilst tapping their feet out of beat, then turning in early to proof-read each other’s coursework. No! To win the tickets, we want you to send us photos of your own Dancefloor Mayhem. At the end of the week we’ll judge the best photo. The winner will grab themselves the pair of weekend passes. You can either drop the photos into the Competitions pigeonhole or email them to the usual address (but please compress them, otherwise my inbox will explode).
weeks. The title of the film will remain a total surprise until seconds before the opening credits role. At the end of the film you get the chance to express your opinion freely by filling out a brief questionnaire. If the attendants give the film the thumbs up, the film is awarded the ‘Recommended’ seal of approval, which you will see on the film poster and in the adverts when it is released. The ‘Recommended’ screening is on Monday night at 8.15. We have 20 pairs to give away for each screening and we won’t even make you climb the treacherous stairs of the union to collect your tickets. All you have to do is take a copy of this issue of gair rhydd to the cinema any time before the screenings and they’ll exchange for a pair of tickets. Just remember to say thank-you.
WINNER OF THE WEEK URI GELLAR This week we salute Sir Uri of Geller for being the bestest friend of David Blaine in his time of great need, visiting Blaine’s hunger box 30 times. The fact that Blaine has banned him from hospital visits and dubbed him a desperate publicity seeker is neither here nor there. We still love you Uri.
This week we’ve teamed up with Miss Selfridge to give you a taste of what you can expct to find in the Autumn/Winter range. Here’s a rundown of what’s in store: Sports Hype Sexy quilted silks, voluminous soft outlines and plunging necklines give this luxury sport style a feminine quality. The 80s Clan A return to all things British but with a sexy rocker edge and posh punk feel. Casual streetwear meets 80s glam in an unusual clash of colours, fabrics and styles. Sexy Punk An edgy underground look of urban punk, mixed with night-time glam. Black denim makes a comeback with frayed edges, cut outs and zip detailing, worn with deconstructed tees, biker jackets and pointy boots. Boyfriend A sharp tailored look with an 80s twist of mods and rockers. Styles borrowed from your boyfriend and given a girly edge. Sleek Sixties Clean modern silhouettes return this season with a swinging 60s theme. Sharp and ultra hip with a futuristic edge. High Octane High glamour fused with edgy 80s styling creates this sexy look. Shiny lycra mixed with lace and patent leather gives form to a trashy, slightly dishevelled feel.
You’ve read the press release, now all that stands between you and the chance to win £25 to spend in the store is the following simple question: Which decade has inspired three of this year’s Autumn/Winter collections? Enter in the usual way.
WIN!
Last week’s answers and winners
RESPECT
By folding this page into a hat when you’ve finished reading it, and wearing it around university. As well as looking like a top bomb you’ll also be protected from this damn miserable cold rain (until it gets soggy, when your head will look like a papier mâché balloon).
(Don’t lose faith guys, pick up next week’s gair rhydd for a Topman comp)
POST-MATCH ANALYSIS
Walkers grub - Answer: c. footballer. Winner: Karen Bradley. Have I Got News For You DVD - Answer: nothing to do with prostitutes or drugs like most of you went for. It was simply that all are get their names from meat (Richard Bacon, Angus Deayton, Meatloaf) except Jamie Theakston, who’s named after ale. Winner: Adam Brooks. Stereophonics tickets - Stuart Cable was lurking with the Grumpy Old Men on page 24 of the TV section. Apologies it was so difficult - he was originally in the Welsh football team on the back page, but was mysteriously dropped from the squad at the last minute (by our sports editor). Seeing as no one spotted him, there’ll be another chance to grab the tickets in a future issue. All winners, collect your loot from the gair rhydd office (fourth floor of the Students’ Union)
IMG Sport
October 25 2003
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grsport@cf.ac.uk
Marines march as Xpresston North End get taken off the air By Beca Murphy IMG Chair Whoopee, it rained! Everyone got soaked and the scorecards were ruined – all in all, it was a good, wet, Wednesday afternoon of sport. Yet again, the elements caused no problems as far as the scores were concerned. Carbs A, Law A and COMSOC all managed to hit the 20s mark, while English Soc, Optometry B and Pharmacy B didn’t make it further than one goal. The Marines stormed their way to
FOOTBALL RESULTS Group A Momed 8 – 2 Optometry Accountancy 0 – 6 Earth Soc. Cathays FC 1 – 4 Law ‘B’ Myg Myg 2 – 1 Economics
Group B AFC History 12 – 0 English Soc. Carbs ‘A’ 4 – 0 Christian Union FC Real 3 – 1 Uni Hallstars Irish FC 5 – 1 Xpresston Northend
Group C Jomec 5 – 1 Accountington Stanley Carbs ‘B’ 2 – 4 Afro-Caribbean Soc. Mathletico Madrid 2 – 0 Planderlecht John Jenkins FC 3 – 2 Bute Park Utd
Group D Chemsoc 5 – 2 Pharm AC Law ‘A’ 7 – 1 Athletico Roy Lokomotiv Engin 6 – 3 Japsoc Gym Gym 3 – 2 The George FC
NETBALL RESULTS Group A C.U. ‘B’ 14 – 5 Optometry Law ‘B’ 14 – 1 English Soc. C.U. ‘C’ 5 – 8 Medics
Group B The Marines 12 – 4 SOCSI C.U. ‘A’ 14 – 1 Optometry ‘B’ Pharmacy – Chemsoc - CANCELLED
Group C Economics 8 – 5 Gym Gym Law ‘A’ 27 – 2 SAWSA Carbs ‘B’ 10 – 1 Pharmacy ‘B’
Group D Xpress Radio 5 – 22 COMSOC Carbs ‘A’ 23 – 7 Christian Union Psychology 16 – 5 Cplan
their first victory of the season. An impressive 12-4 against SOCSI made the girls beam with delight as they handed over their scorecard. A close match was played between Economics and Gym Gym. Each goal Economics won would be matched by the Gym Gym girls, and at half time the score was even at 5-5. The second half of the match was mostly spent in the Economics half circle, with the Gym Gym defence doing most of the work. In the end Economics managed to fight their way ahead with three more goals to claim an 8-5 victory. Over in Pontcanna, Lokomotiv
Engin steamed ahead of JAPSOC with a score of 6-3. In group B Xpresston Northend failed yet again to impress and lost 5-1 against the Irish. Group A never ceases to surprise me. Momed won 8-2 against Optometry, while last year’s Premiership leaders Accountancy lost 6-0 against last year’s third division Earth Soc – what’s going on, boys? And finally, John Jenkins FC managed a win against Bute Park UTD, -2, and I’ll leave you with a dedication from their managers Chris Adams and Jonny Cockerton: “John Jenkins, FC manager, would like to dedicate the
FEATURED MATCH: Earth Soc v Accountancy By John Stanton
Momed v Accountancy Law B v Earth Soc Cathays FC v Economics Myg Myg v Optometry
Entertainment value 8/10
Group B
Earth Soc John Jackson 7, Dan Forder 7, Lee Morgan 7, Tim Sanders 6, Stephen Maricc 8,Richard Pugh 8, Ben Wade 6, Gethyn Gibbons 7, Steve Fincher 9, Chris George 6, Addy Adeleye (capt) 7, Subs: Gareth Barnes 6, Dave White 5, Andy Borrowdough 5,
Carbs A v FC Real English Soc v Uni Hallstars AFC History v Xpresston North End Irish FC v Christian Union
Group C Jomec v Carbs B Bute Park Utd v Afro Caribbean Society John Jenkins v Mathletico Madrid Planderlecht v Accountington Stanley
Group D
Accountancy Matt Brown 6, Lawrence Beach 6, John Stanton 6, Mark Bate (capt) 6, Andy Whitworth 6, Chris Holland 6, Damir Volanovic 6, Rhys Beak 6, Phil Bate 6, Steve Williams 6, Gavin King 6 Subs: Chris Padden 6, Ben Davies 6, John Sudders 6, Tony Carey 6
Reigning IMG champions Accountancy, fielding just one player from their title-winning campaign, were comfor tably beaten 6-0 by an Earth Soc side recording their second consecutive win of the season. Earth Soc followed their 4-1 demolition of Cathays FC with a display of clinical finishing which ensured an unblemished start to the season. Accountancy fell behind early
FOOTBALL WEEK 3 Group A
Pic: Fabio Santos
Earth Soc 6-0 Accountancy
Star Man: Steve Fincher Four good goals helped destroy the champions.
first victory in JJFC’s history to team mate Ross Lovell, who broke his leg in a 50/50 challenge during the game. His presence in midfield will be missed this season.” Very touching and moving, boys. One last thing: thank-you to all who donated towards the Red Cross Disaster fund and made it to lectures in your sports kit for the ‘Get Your Kit On’ campaign. I froze my ass off all day wearing my basketball shorts and looked like a right pleb sat in my recital seminar! Next week’s fixtures are up on the website, so click on to www.cardiffstudents.com to see what’s going on.
Law A v Lokomotiv Engin The George FC v Japsoc Gym Gym v Chemsoc Pharm AC v Athletico Roy
NETBALL WEEK 3 Group A Head to head: but the game wasn’t so close on when a drop kick from goalkeeper John Jackson was allowed to bounce before being headed into an unguarded net by four-goal hero Steve Fincher. Earth Soc added another five minutes before the break when sloppy defending once again proved Accountancy’s undoing, leaving last year’s winners trailing 2-0 at the interval. The game was effectively over within five minutes of the restart
as Earth Soc grabbed two quick goals which put paid to any lingering hopes the Accountants had of mounting a revival. Earth Soc, inspired by a fine performance from captain Addy Adeleye, added two more before the final whistle – including a fine strike from Gareth Barnes – to record a comfortable, although perhaps slightly flattering, 6-0 victory.
Cardiff Uni B v English Soc Law B v Medics Cardiff Uni C v Optometry
Group B The Marines v Chemsoc Cardiff Uni A v Socsi Pharmacy A v Optometry B
Group C Economics v Sawsa Law A v Pharmacy B Carbs B v Gym Gym
Group D Psychology v Xpress Radio Comsoc v Christian Union Carbs A v CPlan
GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS - GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS - GR SP
GR SPORT FOLIO
Moira Howie University Badminton Team By David Williams
CARDIFF’S TRADITION of producing top badminton players appears to be continuing this year. As well as last year’s players of the year, Kate Ridler and Vicky Luke, the badminton side has a captain who is leading a promising women’s team. Originally from near Glasgow,
Moira Howie, 24, is settling into the role of skipper nicely and is quick to give appreciation to those around her: “We’ve got some really good, strong players on the team. Kate and Vicky, who are our top pair, are very good. “We got to the semi-finals of BUSA last year and I think Cardiff
got there the year before.” As a PhD student, Moira, who now resides in Cardiff Bay, originally joined the club as a bit of fun, after graduating from Glasgow University. “I started when I was 10. I played tennis when I was younger. I played badminton when I was about 12. I’d entered a tournament through school and I just took it up. “I only took it up when I moved here to meet people. As I’m doing a PhD, I don’t meet people on my course.” One of the attributes of being a captain, as many football supporters have seen over the years, is to play down the role and focus on the players around them. Moira Howie is no different. “I’m not good enough to take badminton up full-time and I don’t train enough. Kate and Vicky are outstanding players. They both won players of the year at the AU awards
last year. They haven’t lost a game in their group stage before. We can rely on them and we’ve got a very strong team this year.” Despite not being one of the more mainstream sports, badminton has attracted a vast amount of new people this year and, after the Commonwealth Games last year in Manchester, it is enjoying a renaissance. “We’re one of the biggest clubs in the University. We’ve got 200 plus members. You get people that have played a bit at school but you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it. We have a very broad spectrum of standards. We’ve got an awful lot of strong first years coming in.” With major events being held annually in Cardiff, places such as the University and the National Institute of Sport in Sophia Gardens are able to attract a large number of keen badminton players. However, as Moira says, the sport
is one which is best watched live. “They have it on Sky but it’s not something I like watching on television. I prefer to watch it live. You don’t really appreciate it on television.” As well as playing for the University club, Howie also finds time to play for a local side. “I play for Heath Hospital. We play in the Cardiff district league and we get quite a few matches out of that as well.” After recent success for Cardiff ’s badminton teams, this year could see that pattern continue as the BUSA season gets into full swing. Upcoming gair rhydd interviews will include footie ace Gaz Nettleton. Make sure you pick up the next issue to learn more about the legion of sporting superstars scattered around Cardiff University.
Television
October 25 2003
Page 25
pubesinmykeyboard@cf.ac.uk
Thursday 30 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Family Xchange 10.45 Bargain Hunt 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Trading Up 12.30 Trading Treasures 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15.25 CBeebies: Fimbles 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 New Scooby and Scrappy Show 16.20 The Story of Tracy Beaker 16.35 CBBC Junior Great North Run Party 17.00 Byker Grove 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Steph ends her relationship with Max. Izzy offers to buy a stake in the coffee shop. Sky and Boyd celebrate their good deed. 18.00 BBC News News. 18.30 Wales Today; Weather 19.00 Bargain Hunt 19.30 EastEnders Janine and Paul are trapped in a compromising position. Eugh. I just don’t understand the totty hierarchy in Easties. So Sharon gets to shag the divine Dennis, Janine drives (admittedly rank) men wild and everyone falls at the Tamworth Phil Mitchell’s feet. Maybe if I moved to the Square I’d get some hot loving - but no doubt the evil script writers would shack me up with Billy. 20.00 Superstars 21.00 Hunting Chris Ryan 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Question Time 23.35 Dragon's Eye 00.05 This Week 00.55 FILM: After Jimmy*** 02.35 Sign Zone: Design Rules 03.05 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 03.50 Sign Zone: Watchdog 04.20 Joins BBC News 24
06.00 CBeebies: The Adventures of Spot 06.10 Brum 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 Fix and Foxi 07.30 Super Rupert 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Blue Peter 08.30 So Little Time 08.55 Fairly Odd Parents 09.20 Really Wild Show 09.45 Arthur 10.00 CBeebies: The Story Makers 10.20 Tweenies 10.40 Sergeant Stripes 10.50 William's Wish Wellingtons 11.00 Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 11.30 The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 13.00 FILM: Cloak and Dagger *** 14.50 What the Romans Did for Us 15.00 Country House 15.30 Flog It! 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air 18.45 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 19.30 Counties of Wales: Radnorshire 20.00 Escape to the Country 21.00 Does Meditation Work? Well, I find bending over and humming gets me through most situations, especially anal fisting. 22.00 QI 22.30 Newsnight 23.20 National Teaching Awards 00.20 What the Romans Did for Us 00.30 BBC Learning Zone 01.00 The Next Big Thing: Eyes in the Skies 01.30 Lab Detectives 01.50 What Have the 60s Ever Done for Us? 02.00 A Life of Time 02.30 The Nature of Impacts and Their Impacts on Nature 03.00 The Challenge 03.30 Youth Creativity: Blast TV 2 04.00 Languages: Espana Viva 9-10 05.00 Switched on: Be Creative
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Pirate Islands 09.55 Seriously Weird 10.25 ITV News Headlines; Local News and Weather 10.30 Trisha 11.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Engie Benjy 15.30 SpongeBob SquarePants 16.00 Beat the CyBorgs 16.30 Star 17.00 I'm the Answer 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale Louise is forced to hear a few home truths. Gloria's affair is nearly discovered, as her mother walks in on her pissing on her fling’s third nipple. The pressure is mounting for Siobhan to tell Paul the truth about her baby. It is the love child of Captain Zorg, Uranus. Either that or the milkman. 19.30 Fishlock's Wild Tracks 20.00 The Bill Live 21.00 Holiday Showdown 22.00 ITV News at Ten 22.30 Follow the Fans 23.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 00.05 Love Match 00.30 Turn On Terry I heard he really likes the thought of asphyxiation. 00.55 The District 01.40 CD:UK 02.15 Inside Job - the Making of the Italian Job 02.40 The Machine 03.05 Cybernet 03.30 Motorsport UK 03.55 ITV Nightscreen 05.30 ITV Early Morning News The office is full of pent-up anticipation as tomorrow is TV Andy’s birthday and he is spending it - at home.
BBC3
ITV2
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Freddie Mercury's Rock Shrine 19.30 Fightbox 20.00 Liquid News 20.30 What Not to Wear 21.00 The Third Degree 21.30 Art and the City 22.00 EastEnders Lisa's fragile world finally crumbles around her, and lands in her ample cleavage. 22.30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 23.00 Kylie's Millions are mainly donated by anally obsessed men who buy her singles despite the fact they could be sung by anyone and could sound like anything. 00.00 Liquid News 00.30 Fightbox 01.00 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 01.30 Get Staffed 02.00 CCTV 02.30 New Tycoons 03.00 Liquid News 03.30 Fightbox
08.40 Rugby World Cup 2003: Namibia v Romania 11.10 Great Escapes 11.40 Movies Now 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.45 Dancing in the Street 18.00 Coronation Street 18.30 Emmerdale 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 20.00 Greasemania 21.00 The Bill 22.00 Real Vampires... Exposed! Self-proclaimed vampires discuss the myths and rituals surrounding their cryptic world. TV John stars. 23.00 The Frank Skinner 23.50 Jerry Springer 00.40 Late Show with David Letterman 01.30 Felicity 02.20 Teleshopping 03.20 Trisha 04.10 Trisha Extra
Breasts Uncupped Sky 1 3.55am
Ring C4 12.20 pm
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Dennis a Dannedd 10.00 FILM: It Always Rains on Sunday **** 11.40 Water Stories 11.45 Water Stories 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Binca 12.40 Planed Plant Bach: Rhacsyn a'r Goeden Hud 12.50 Planed Plant Bach: Lisabeth 12.55 Planed Plant Bach: Joshua Jones 13.15 Fifteen to One 13.45 Supercities UK 14.15 A Place in the Sun 14.45 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Byd Bach Bedwyr 16.15 Planed Plant: Hotel Eddie 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon More bitching whilst being irrigated. 18.30 Wawffactor! 19.00 Wedi 7 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Pobol y Cwm Anita's family have a difficult day in court, especially when the judge realises he has been wanking over pictures of her seven year old daughter. Ouch. 20.25 Dau Ddisgo ac Angladd 21.00 Pawb a'i Farn 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Y Sesiwn Hwyr 23.40 Daisy Daisy 00.10 Scrubs 00.35 Magick 01.05 Monkey 01.55 Headliners 02.25 Freesports on 4 02.50 FILM: Meet the Applegates *** 04.20 Burnt Offering: The Cult of the Wicker Man
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.25 Don't Blame the Koalas 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 Charlie's Angels 15.35 FILM: The Bravos ** 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away Sally is the victim of a cruel prank, when she finds her huge boulder-holder full of killer bees. Alf's rapport with Ailsa begins to sour when he squeezes lemon juice over her beef curtains. You should always ask a lady before indulging in that particular whim. 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.30 Great Artists 2 with Tim Marlow 20.00 Young Elizabeth 21.00 A Mind to Kill 23.00 Murder Detectives: Case Files: Double Helix 00.00 Arrest and Trial 00.25 Jonathan Pearce's Football Night 01.05 Dutch Football: PSV Eindhoven v Ajax 02.35 Argentinian Football 04.05 Argentinian Football Highlights 04.55 Major League Soccer: Chicago Fire v Columbus Crew Alex is hell-bent on insulting our intelligence as he pins up guides on how to use apostrophe’s. (Ha ha - Dep Ed.)
E4
SKY 1
C4
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends Monica and Chandler agree to end their new relationship to which Chandler probably says: “That’s SO not fair” to heaps of drug-induced laughter. 17.30 Friends Phoebe feels neglected. So no doubt she does something ‘zany’ to fill her time. Here’s guessing it won’t be dreadlocking her pubes. 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 Joe Millionaire 22.00 Six Feet Under The funeral parlour is brimming over with activity following a trio of unrelated deaths. 23.05 Queer as Folk 23.45 V Graham Norton 00.25 Hollyoaks 00.55 The Salon 01.25 The Michael Essany Show 01.50 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 02.40 Joe Millionaire
06.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Pokemon Advanced 08.00 Pokemon Advanced 08.30 The Simpsons 09.00 Gamezville 10.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Heat 11.00 Futurama 11.30 Malcolm in the Middle 12.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 13.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 15.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 Little Monsters 21.00 Fear Factor UK 22.00 Football Years 23.00 The Big Sex Unusual responses are analysed. Does “covering me in fish paste sandwich filler” count? 00.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 01.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 01.50 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 02.40 Philly 03.30 Shipmates 03.55 Breasts Uncupped 04.45 Dirty Money 05.10 Guilty!
09.00 Bewitched 09.30 Roseanne 10.00 Ed 10.55 Judging Amy 11.45 Icons: Grace Kelly 12.30 Water Stories 12.40 Exposed 12.50 FILM: Uncle Silas *** 14.45 Fifteen to One 16.00 A Place in the Sun 18.30 Hollyoaks 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.55 The Rory Peck Awards 2003 20.00 Tales from River Cottage 20.30 French Leave 21.00 The Last White Kids 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Daisy Daisy 23.15 Wife Swap 00.20 FILM: Ring **** With Nanako Matsushima and Mai Takano. I had to watch this holding my housemate’s hand, and I’m dead hard. Get ready to sleep with the light on (not in the style of Busted). 02.10 FILM: I Don't Want to Be Born ** 03.50 Skin Deep 04.05 Thug Life: The Crisis Facing Young Black Men 05.00 Stephen Lawrence: Ten Years After 05.15 Countdown
Thursday 30 October
Television
October 25 2003
Page 26
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Friday 31 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Family Xchange 10.45 Bargain Hunt 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Trading Up 12.30 Trading Treasures 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15.25 CBeebies: Tweenies 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Rugrats 16.35 The Ghosthunter 17.00 Blue Peter With the new single from Blazin’ Squad. Pfff! 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Max is devastated by Steph's decision to leave him. Pfff! Sky announces that she means to stay in Erinsborough. Hooray! 18.00 BBC News 18.30 Wales Today 19.00 A Question of Sport 19.30 Top of the Pops Undoubtedly going to feature completely awful hip hop moron/shouting man Fat Man Scoop and his “rambunctious” voice, whom my partner in musical crime Anna adores in abundance. 20.00 EastEnders 20.30 All about Me 21.00 Absolutely Fabulous “Absolutely Fucking Awful” more like. 21.30 Have I Got News For You 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Max Boyce Down Under 23.25 Friday Night with Jonathan Ross With The Flaming Lips. Who can kiss my ass, even if my ass is enflamed as a consequence. 00.15 Meet My Folks 01.05 FILM: Roadflower ** 02.35 Joins BBC News 24
06.00 CBeebies: The Adventures of Spot 06.10 Brum 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 The Lampies 07.30 Noah's Island 08.00 Newsround 08.05 CBBC Junior Great North Run Party 08.30 So Little Time 08.55 Fairly Odd Parents 09.20 Really Wild Show 09.45 Arthur 10.00 CBeebies: The Story Makers 10.20 Tweenies 10.40 Little Robots 10.50 William's Wish Wellingtons 11.00 Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 11.25 Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 11.50 Trade Secrets 12.00 Working Lunch 13.00 FILM: And the Beat Goes On ** 14.30 War Walks 15.00 Country House 15.30 Flog It! 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 The Simpsons Forty minutes of Halloween terror. 18.45 Scrum V Live: Neath Swansea Ospreys v Connacht One hundred and sixty five minutes of Halloween terror. 21.00 Timewatch: The Greatest Storm 21.50 Grumpy Old Men Saw a clip of this. Surely Will Self is too young to be an “old” man? Or is forty old these days? 22.30 Newsnight 23.00 Newsnight Review 23.35 Later with Jools Holland This week with the greased prat, John Cale and Jane’s Addiction. 00.35 The X Files 01.20 FILM: Rat Bizarre comedy in which a hard-drinking, Irish gambling man returns home from the pub one day and turns into a large white rat. Yes please. ** 03.00 Secondary Schools: English AS Guru: English I should think so too, given it’s an English guru.
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Pirate Islands 09.55 Seriously Weird This weeks mysterious “What the hell is this?” program. It’s occupying a key slot on ITV1’s daytime schedules so it can’t be that weird. Or even that serious. Misleading! 10.25 ITV News Headlines; Local News and Weather 10.30 Trisha 11.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop “Prefer 2 Puke” more like. 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Hilltop Hospital 15.30 What about Mimi? 16.00 You Can Do Magic 16.15 All Grown Up! 16.30 You Can Do Magic 17.00 I'm the Answer 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale 19.30 Coronation Street 20.00 House of Horrors Sadly not about anything spooky or ghostly, but another crass documentary concerning cowboy builders and people who can’t do plumbing properly. 20.30 Airline 21.00 POW 22.00 Tarrant on TV 22.30 ITV Weekend News 23.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 00.00 FILM: The Glimmer Man 01.45 Hallowe'en Forever Ooooh unprecedented double helping of ...Forever this week. See Pick of the Week. 02.50 Entertainment Now! Back where it should be - after ...Forever. 03.15 Mixmasters 03.40 World Football 04.05 Today with Des and Mel 04.55 ITV Nightscreen
In Your Face S4C 11.45am
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Planed Plant: Dennis a Dannedd 10.00 FILM: Train of Events *** 11.40 Exposed 11.45 In Your Face 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Sali Mali 12.40 Planed Plant Bach: Twm 13.00 Planed Plant Bach: Pot Mel 13.15 Fifteen to One 13.45 Fifteen to One 14.15 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Uned 5 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Gwobrau Tir Na Nog 19.00 Popcorn 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Da 'Di Dil 'De An hour of fun and laughter in the company of Dilwyn Pierce and guests. Set your video. 20.30 Pobol y Cwm 21.00 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd Highlights of Romania v Namibia and France v USA. 22.00 Grand Designs 23.05 V Graham Norton 23.45 Dirty Sanchez 00.15 FILM: The Blair Witch Project **** One of my personal favourite films, although since nobody else likes it, expect me to be staying in to watch this on my own, all alone on Halloween, getting scared, maybe crying. Sniff. 01.45 Fashion House 02.15 FILM: The Wicker Man **** AND The Wicker Man in one night! Channel 4, with your ridiculous horrors you are spoiling us. You’ll be telling us there’s a spoof version of The Exorcist next... ooh look. 04.05 FILM: Repossessed **
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.25 Don't Blame the Koalas 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 FILM: Summer of Fear ** 16.25 Open House with Gloria Hunniford: Celebrity Special 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.30 Mission to the Deep: 20.00 House Doctor 20.30 Dream Holiday Home 21.00 FILM: The Rookie With Clint Eastwood ** 23.20 Boomtown 00.15 FILM: Naked Souls With Pamela Anderson Lee. Erotic drama about an academic who denies his voluptuous girlfriend her pleasures and collaborates with a sinister millionaire in research into the human brain. When the scientist has the chance to further his studies into consciousness-transferral techniques, the enigmatic millionaire's offer of help lands him in dangerous waters. An appropriate film for Halloween then. ** 01.40 Roy Keane: As I See It 02.30 FILM: The Hand ** 04.10 Russell Grant's Postcards 04.25 Beverly
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
CH 4
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Michael Hutchence's Rock Shrine 19.30 Fightbox 20.00 Celebdaq 20.30 EastEnders Revealed 21.00 Grease Monkeys 21.30 Absolutely Fabulous 22.00 EastEnders Moggymurderer Gavin has a nasty surprise up his sleeve for the Ferreiras. Gavin is a great character. You can have your gangsters, but true EastEnders bad guys are just horrible. Plus he likes early Manics, and so is obviously more than slightly psychopathic. 22.30 What Not to Wear 23.00 Trevor Nelson's Lowdown 23.30 Liquid Assets: Kylie's Millions ...come from her ass, and thus go back into said ass. Go away, you overrated tart. Although Confide In Me is still great. 00.30 Celebdaq 01.00 Fightbox 01.30 Get Staffed
08.15 Rugby World Cup 2003: France v USA 10.40 Planet's Funniest Animals 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.45 Movies Now 18.00 Coronation Street 18.30 Emmerdale 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 20.00 Planet's Funniest Animals 20.30 Pop Idol Extra 22.00 Harry Hill's TV Burp Good programme. “Ever noticed how soap characters start looking like their toasters?” 22.30 Coronation Street 23.00 Pop Idol Extra 00.30 Jerry Springer 01.20 Late Show with David Letterman 02.10 Teleshopping 03.10 Felicity 04.00 Trisha Extra
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends Monica gets upset when Chandler gloats about sex. Piss off the both of ye! 21.00 Teachers 22.00 Wife Swap 23.05 Little Friends 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Hollyoaks 00.45 The Salon 01.15 The Secret Life of Us 02.10 The Secret Life of Us 03.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years This week’s music-tastic recommendations: Saves The Day, Dashboard Confessional, Death In Vegas, Vic Twenty, Savage Garden, Sikth, The Black Heart Procession, Eels, Mogwai, Six By Seven, Busted, Electrelane, Caitlin Carey, The Handsome Family, Bardo Pond and their toothy lookalikes, and whatever shite Radio 1 plays in the moning.
06.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Pokemon Advanced 08.00 Pokemon Advanced 08.30 The Simpsons 09.00 Gamezville 10.00 Little Monsters 11.00 Futurama 11.30 Malcolm in the Middle 12.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 13.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 14.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 15.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 Malcolm in the Middle 20.30 Malcolm in the Middle 21.00 Scare Tactics 21.30 Scare Tactics 22.00 Scare Tactics 22.30 Scare Tactics 23.00 Scare Tactics 23.30 Scare Tactics Sod the rest. SIX episodes of Scare Tactics in a row! Highlights include driving a limo into a minefield, and a seance that turns deadly. Fantastic. 00.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation
As S4C except: 06.00 The Magic Roundabout 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 Roseanne 10.00 Ed 10.55 Judging Amy 11.50 Exposed 12.30 Cheers 13.00 Water Stories 13.15 My Eden 13.20 FILM: ** 14.45 Fifteen to One 16.00 A Place in the Sun 18.30 Hollyoaks 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.30 20.30 Friends 21.00 Will and Grace 21.30 Scrubs 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Distraction 23.10 The Osbournes 23.40 Dirty Sanchez 00.10 Fashion House 00.45 Shriek Week FILM: The Hitcher Violent horror story about a driver who picks up a psychotic hitchhiker who engages him in a bloody game of cat and mouse. The hitcher just likes killing people and decides to set up his young driver as the fall guy for a string of horrific murders. Poor man’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre. *** 02.30 Shriek Week FILM: Ring 2 *** Apparently inferior sequal the original Japanese horror film. Although still complete weird.
Scare Tactics Sky 1 9pm
Friday 31 October
Television
October 25 2003
Page 24
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Wednesday 29 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Family Xchange 10.45 Bargain Hunt 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Trading Up 12.30 Trading Treasures 13.00 BBC News 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News 15.25 CBeebies: Balamory 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Get Your Own Back 16.35 The Wild Thornberrys 17.00 Blue Peter 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Toadie receives his wedding photos. Kick a man when he’s down, why don’t you... 18.00 BBC News 18.30 Wales Today 19.00 Animal Hospital Snowy the rabbit needs surgery after Rolf tries to use him as a didgeridoo. 19.30 Kenyon Confronts 20.00 Only Fools and Horses 20.50 The National Lottery: 21.00 Separated at Birth Sharon Osbourne and Cherie Blair. 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 ONE life: Beating the Bullies Preferably with a large wooden paddle covered in rusty nails. 23.15 FILM: The Scarlet Letter With Demi Moore and Gary Oldman. Soft porn masquerading as art.** 01.30 Sign Zone: ONE Life 02.10 Sign Zone: Bargain Hunt 02.40 Sign Zone: Changing Rooms 03.10 Sign Zone: Holiday 10 Best: Family Favourites 03.50 Joins BBC News 24 Respect to whoever bigged up Sage Francis in last week’s Quench. We’re rocking to the Climb Trees EP right now. Closely followed by MC Pitman. “Is that a rocket in your pocket or are you just gay?” Awesome.
06.00 CBeebies: The Adventures of Spot 06.10 Brum 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: Chucklevision 07.20 Anthony Ant 07.30 Galidor: Defenders of the Outer Dimension 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Yo! Diary 08.30 So Little Time 08.55 Fairly Odd Parents 09.20 Really Wild Show 09.45 Arthur 10.00 CBeebies: The Story Makers 10.20 Tweenies 10.40 The Koala Brothers 10.50 William's Wish Wellingtons 11.00 The Daily Politics 13.00 Wildlife on Two 13.30 Working Lunch 14.00 FILM: Sealed Cargo *** 15.30 Flog It! 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons Mr Burns gets tired of running the nuclear power plant so, after much haggling, he sells out to a German company. Classic episode. 18.20 TOTP 2 18.45 Buffy the Vampire Slayer Buffy and friends help a woman who is being pursued by a giant worm-like creature. Riath’s on the prowl again then. 19.30 Mortgage Madness 20.00 Joy of Curry 21.00 Make a Fortune: The Asian Way 22.00 The Office It's beers all round as the team go to Chasers, Slough's premier nightclub. “One up the bum, no harm done..” 22.30 Newsnight With Jeremy Paxman. 23.20 You're Breaking Up 23.55 BBC Four on BBC Two: Dinner with Portillo The fat lipped flange-face serves up beef curtains and cheese sauce for his cabal of rightwing blood drinking freaks. 00.30 BBC Learning Zone: Open University
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Pirate Islands 09.55 Seriously Weird 10.25 ITV News Headlines; Local News and Weather 10.30 Trisha 11.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Meg and Mog 15.35 The Flintstones 16.05 Art Attack 16.30 My Parents Are Aliens 17.00 I'm the Answer 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News 19.00 Emmerdale Ashley prepares for a date with Louise but will she see past his dog collar? If there was ever a programme that deserved a WOOF! WOOF! it is this. I know Corrie had the gay kiss and all, but isn’t bestiality a bit strong for evening telly. Then again this is Emmerdale... 19.30 Coronation Street 20.00 The Bill 21.00 Gifted One-off drama in which two female students happen to meet a star footballer. The results of their meeting are explosive, as his club is rocked by an accusation of drug rape. Art imitating life anyone? Apparently this is based on a true story, but was changed to a footballer to stop the person’s identity coming out. It’ll still be pants. 23.00 ITV News at Ten 23.30 Rugby World Cup 2003 Canada and Tonga. 00.30 Coast to Coast 24.55 Redcoats 01.20 CD:UK Hotshots 01.45 Today with Des and Mel 02.35 FILM: Marty **** 04.05 ITV Nightscreen 05.30 ITV Early Morning News
The Office BBC2 10pm
S4C
five
07.00 Wil Cwac Cwac 07.10 Pei Pwmpen 07.30 Dic a Dei a Delyth 07.45 Dennis a Dannedd 08.30 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd: Canada v Tonga 10.30 FILM: Buchanan Rides Alone *** 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Teletubbies 13.00 Planed Plant Bach: Barrug 13.15 Fifteen to One 13.45 French Leave 14.15 Home from Home 14.45 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Sgorio Bach 16.15 Planed Plant: Mali O 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Xtra The students bask in Siwan's success, but how are they going to get her to the surprise party? And why is Cheryl not eager to join in the fun? She’ll be in her room with a rampant rabbit - I have it on good authority it’s a girl’s best friend. 19.00 Wedi 7 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Pobol y Cwm 20.25 Taro Naw 21.00 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd Highlights of Canada v Tonga, Japan v USA and Georgia v Uruguay. 22.00 Property Ladder 23.05 V Graham Norton 23.45 Brookside 00.45 Brookside 01.15 The Secret Life of Us 02.05 The Secret Life of Us 02.55 FILM: Senseless With Marlon Wayans and David Spade. That should be enough to put you off watching this. * 04.30 Outside: The Phantom Museum 04.45 Outside: Safety Tips for Kids 04.50 Outside: Sucked Up
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.25 Don't Blame the Koalas 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 Charlie's Angels 15.40 FILM: Mother Knows Best *** 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.30 Heroes of World War II: The Men who Liberated Belsen 20.00 Future Flight 21.00 The Funniest Ads in the World... Probably A look at the role of humour in television advertising. 22.00 FILM: Robocop 2 “Shouldnt be as bad as it is considering Frank Miller wrote it, and he’s a legend...” offers Film Desk as he saunters out the door to brave the cold. * 00.15 Real Sex 01.00 NHL Ice Hockey: Detroit Red Wings v St Louis Blues 03.50 2003 X Games 04.45 Motorsport Mundial 05.10 European Drag Racing Championship RuPaul and Priscilla Queen Of The Desert. (Yes I know that’s the name of the bus, but I couldn’t think of another queen...) 05.35 Fastrax
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
C4
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Bob Marley's Rock Shrine 19.30 Fightbox 20.00 Liquid News 20.30 What Not to Wear 21.00 FILM: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory Action-packed thriller set on a train in which terrorists seize control of a satellite particle-beam weapon with which to hold the world to ransom. But in planning their scheme they reckoned without cook and erstwhile Navy SEAL Casey Ryback, travelling to Los Angeles with his niece for a funeral, and caught in the middle of their train hijack. Terrible mullet action flick. ** 22.35 Little Britain 23.05 Denise Van Outen: Essex and the City 24.00 Liquid News 00.30 Fightbox 01.00 Little Britain 01.30 Get Staffed 02.00 CCTV 02.30 New Tycoons
08.15 Rugby World Cup 2003: Canada v Tonga 10.40 Planet's Funniest Animals 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Judge Judy 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.20 Chart Choice 17.30 Emmerdale 18.00 Emmerdale 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 19.30 Great Escapes 20.00 Honeymoons from Hell Featuring a couple who were caught up in a horrifying gun battle at Sri Lanka's main airport. My mate’s out there right now - respect to Steve for having the holiday of a lifetime... 21.00 Celebrities Exposed 22.00 Airline 22.30 Coronation Street 00.05 Jerry Springer 00.50 Celebrities Exposed
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 Perfect Match USA 22.00 Sex and the City Carrie runs into Mr Big's seemingly perfect partner. 22.30 Jackass Gumball Rally! Johnny Knoxville and the Jackass crew risk life and limb on one of the most dangerous cross-country car races of all time. Worth catching if you haven’t seen it already... 23.30 Little Friends 00.00 V Graham Norton 00.40 Peep Show Commission a second series immediately - this is some of the funniest TV I’ve seen in years. 01.10 The Salon 01.40 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 02.30 Sex and the City 03.00 Little Friends I’m 22 in five hours and I’m on my own in the office - gutted.
06.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Pokemon Advanced 08.00 Pokemon Advanced 08.30 The Simpsons 09.00 Gamezville 10.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Afterburn 11.00 Futurama 11.30 Malcolm in the Middle 12.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 13.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 14.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 15.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons Three tales of Halloween horror: The Shinning, Time And Punishment and Nightmare Cafeteria. ”Indeed this is a disturbing universe...” 20.00 For Love or Money 21.00 Z-List Behaving Badly 22.00 101 Things Removed from the Human Body 23.00 The Villa 00.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 01.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer
As S4C except: 06.00 Animal Alphabet This programme features the letter ‘g’ for gibbon and gimp. 06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 Roseanne 10.00 Ed 10.55 Judging Amy 11.50 Water Stories 12.30 Cheers 13.00 Encounters 13.15 Let It Rain 13.20 FILM: Face of a Fugitive Body of an ant. ** 14.45 Fifteen to One 16.00 A Place in the Sun 18.30 Friends 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.55 The Rory Peck Awards 2003 20.00 Grand Designs Revisited 21.00 Teachers 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Sex Rules: Fuck buddies This programme follows a young man and a young woman in search of someone purely to have regular sex with. It’ll all end in tears - I’ve seen Intimacy. 23.15 Segregated Britain 00.20 FILM: Jagged Edge ** 02.20 FILM: Frankenstein Created Woman ** 04.00 World Rally Omnibus: Spain 05.20 Countdown
Sex Rules: Fuck Buddies C4 10.40pm
Wednesday 29 October
Television
Page 22
October 25 2003
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Monday 27 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Family Xchange 10.45 Bargain Hunt 11.00 Joins BBC News 24 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Trading Up 12.30 Trading Treasures 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; 15.25 CBeebies: Boo! 15.35 Bob the Builder 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Metalheads 16.25 Eureka TV 16.40 Jackie Chan Adventures 17.00 Blue Peter Liz Barker and Matt Baker take a trip down the biggest river in the world, the Amazon. Evidently the Nile had dried up or something that weekend. 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Lyn goes shoplifting. 18.00 BBC News 18.30 Wales Today 19.00 Holiday 2004 This week, the staff employed to remind BBC staff what year we’re in visit a country several thousand miles away. 19.30 X Ray 20.00 EastEnders PLEASE will they stop the Lisa/Phil/Den/Dennis story. For god’s sake. You wouldn’t regurgitate food like this. 20.30 Changing Rooms 21.00 Looking for Victoria 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Hot Pursuit 23.35 Ramadan: Me and Uncle Sam 00.05 FILM: Carry On Girls *** “Great” British comedy. 01.35 Sign Zone: The Blue Planet 02.25 Sign Zone: A Life of Grime 02.55 Sign Zone: Auction Man 03.25 Sign Zone: Time Flyers 03.55 Joins BBC News 24
06.00 CBeebies: Spot's Musical Adventures 06.10 Brum 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 Rotten Ralph 07.30 I Love Mummy 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Bring It On 08.30 So Little Time 08.55 Fairly Odd Parents 09.20 Really Wild Show 09.45 Arthur 10.00 CBeebies: The Story Makers 10.20 Tweenies 10.40 Wide Eye 10.50 William's Wish Wellingtons 11.00 FILM: Intrigue ** 12.30 Working Lunch 13.00 FILM: Contraband ** 14.30 War Walks 15.00 Country House 15.30 Flog It! 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air 18.45 Star Trek: The Next Generation 19.30 Landscape Mysteries: Secrets of the Flood 20.00 Mastermind Specialist subjects include 80s pop this week. So questions about the Thompson Twins and Genesis aren’t dumbing down Mastermind or anything. 20.30 University Challenge 21.00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 21.30 Dead Ringers 22.00 Early Doors 22.30 Newsnight With Kirsty Wark. 23.20 BBC Four on BBC Two: Kathleen Ferrier: An Ordinary Diva 00.30 BBC Learning Zone: Open University: The Trouble with Love 01.00 Ever Wondered? 01.30 Open Advice - Study to Succeed 02.00 Secondary Schools Religious Education: KS3 Curriculum Bites 04.00 Languages: Espana Viva 3-4 05.00 Switched on: Which Computer? Not this one.
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Pirate Islands 09.55 Seriously Weird 10.25 ITV News Headlines; Local News and Weather 10.30 Trisha 11.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Hilltop Hospital 15.30 The Flintstones 16.00 All Grown Up! 16.30 My Parents Are Aliens 17.00 I'm the Answer 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale Robert is mortified when a tell-tale bruise exposes him as a scheming liar. “No no no she was naked and fell over ONTO my penis.” 19.30 Coronation Street 20.00 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 20.30 Coronation Street 21.00 Family “Crap Sopranos” more like. 22.00 ITV News at Ten 22.30 The Frank Skinner Show 23.20 Rugby World Cup 2003 00.20 The Premiership on Monday 01.15 Champions League Weekly 01.40 Football League Extra 02.20 Today with Des and Mel 03.10 Now and Again I’ve lost track of this now, but I used to watch it late last year when it was on after Night And Day. Strangely compelling, and completely ridiculous bionic-man style sci-fi drama with a seriously ugly child in it. 03.55 Entertainment Now! 04.20 Tonight with Trevor McDonald
BBC 3
ITV 2
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Elvis' Rock Shrine A documentary about the stinking festering rotting corpsecontainer in which the intensely decayed body of the most over-popular overexposed excuse for celebrity existence the 20th century produced, and is obviously a cynical tie-in with the new Best Of released this week. 19.30 Fightbox Trevor 20.00 Liquid News 20.30 What Not to Wear 21.00 Burn It 21.30 Terri McIntyre 22.00 EastEnders 22.30 Little Britain 23.00 Grass 23.30 They Think It's All Over 00.00 Liquid News 00.30 Fightbox 01.00 Little Britain 01.30 Get Staffed 02.00 CCTV 02.30 The Third Degree 03.00 Liquid News
08.15 Rugby World Cup 2003 10.40 Planet's Funniest Animals 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.45 Confessions 18.00 Coronation Street 18.30 Emmerdale 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 With Jim “The Nose” Rosenthal. 20.00 Planet's Funniest Animals 21.00 Men in Tights 22.00 Million Dollar Babes 22.30 Coronation Street 23.35 Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned 00.00 Jerry Springer 00.50 Late Show with David Letterman 01.40 Felicity 02.30 Teleshopping 03.30 Trisha 04.45 Judge Judy 05.05 Chart Choice 05.10 Late Show with David Letterman
The Wicker Man C4 1.05am
Shooting The Loaded Calendar five 10.50pm
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Dennis a Dannedd 10.00 FILM: Jacqueline ** 11.40 Water Stories 11.50 Water Stories 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Ribidires 12.45 Planed Plant Bach: Caleb 12.50 Planed Plant Bach: Mr Men and Little Miss 13.00 Planed Plant Bach: Bibi 13.15 Tony Robinson's Romans 14.15 Home from Home 14.45 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Troeon Tristan 16.25 Planed Plant: Uned 5 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon Finish please! I’m sick of struggling for things to say about it. 18.30 Xtra Completely awful Welsh Hollyoaks-esque fodder only with less murders, less Tony, and less suicidal Travis fans, if any of them are still in Hollyoaks. 19.00 Wedi 7 News 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Yr Ocsiwniar 20.30 Ffermio Or “that farming program nobody watches because of its very limited target audience”. 21.00 Pobol y Cwm 21.30 Sgorio 22.35 Teachers 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Solomon: The Escape Artist 01.15 Will and Grace 01.40 Speed Machines 02.40 FILM: Angel Heart Alan Parker film involving voodoo, southern state crooners, and mysterious hitmen. Sounds interesting. But almost certainly won’t be, despite the star rating. ****
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.25 Don't Blame the Koalas 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 Charlie's Angels 15.35 FILM: Too Many Suspects *** 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away Leah puts the gym's future in jeopardy. And so forth. 18.30 Family Affairs Geri is shocked to discover the identity of Yasmin's husband. It’s the masked magician. 19.00 five news 19.30 World's Greatest Bridges Dull documentary about bridges. 20.00 Building the Ultimate Dull documentary about submarines. 20.30 Fifth Gear Literally, Top Gear with a different name. This week with a trip to the MoD motor show. 21.00 FILM: Storm * 22.50 Shooting the Loaded Calender See pick of the week. 23.55 Real Sex 00.40 NFL Update 01.20 US PGA Golf: Funai Classic 02.10 Seniors Golf: Estoril Seniors Tour Championship 03.00 NASCAR Busch Series Motor Racing
E4
SKY 1
C4
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 Dawson's Creek 22.00 Sex and the City 22.30 Little Friends 23.00 Porn: A Family Business: Reunion A ten-part documentary chronicling the life of porn producer and director Adam Glasser. In this edition, Glasser attends a high school reunion and wonders whether his former classmates will find him desirable or repulsive. Hmmm... I f--king wonder. Apologies porn fans, but anyone c--t with a brain in his head wouldn’t “desire” the sort of slime who produce, direct, or indeed watch, such sexless drivel. 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Hollyoaks 00.45 The Salon 01.15 Smallville: Superman the Early Years
06.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Pokemon Advanced 08.00 Pokemon Advanced 08.30 The Simpsons 09.00 Gamezville 10.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Smackdown 12.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 13.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 14.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 15.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons Halloween special. 20.00 Stargate SG-1 21.00 The Posh and Becks Years: 2002-2003 22.00 Frank Bruno: Laid Bare Not literally. 23.00 Uncut! Kirsty's Home Videos 23.30 South Park 00.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 01.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 01.50 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 02.40 Philly 03.30 Shipmates 03.55 British Tribes
As S4C except: 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 Roseanne 10.00 Ed 10.55 Judging Amy 11.45 In Your Face 12.30 Cheers 13.00 Exposed: The Baby Photographer 13.10 FILM: Niagara **** 14.45 Fifteen to One 15.15 Countdown 16.00 A Place in the Sun 18.30 Hollyoaks 19.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 19.55 The Rory Peck Awards 2003 20.00 Speed Machines:. 21.00 Lifer: Living with Murder 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Shriek Week FILM: Bram Stoker's Dracula *** 01.05 Shriek Week FILM: The Wicker Man **** YES. A good film, on television. Don’t do anything stupid like not watch it, or forget to ask your eternally unreliable flatmate to video it while you go for drinks and giggles in Creation because nobody will like you for it. And you won’t know anything about the salmon of knowledge. 03.00 Shriek Week Burnt Offering: The Cult of the Wicker Man
Monday 27 October
Television
October 25 2003
Page 23
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Tuesday 28 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Family Xchange 10.45 Bargain Hunt 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Trading Up 12.30 Trading Treasures 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15.25 CBeebies: Tikkabilla 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Metalheads 16.25 Watch My Chops 16.35 The Queen's Nose 17.00 Byker Grove Sarah tries her hand at matchmaking by locking Matt and Emma in the shed. An obvious place to copulate, I would have thought. 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Toadie and Connor hit upon an internet scam: selling their soiled boxer shorts to TV listings monkeys. 18.00 BBC News News. 18.30 Wales Today; Weather 19.00 Watchdog 19.30 EastEnders Barry gives Janine a birthday treat. Good lord, we didn’t need to know. Even I wouldn’t go there, even if he did give me a gold credit card and a job in a fourth-rate car lot. Hang on... 20.00 Holby City 21.00 A Life of Grime This week, the team looks at Robert Street. 21.30 They Think It's All Over 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Week In, Week Out 23.05 The Vicar of Dibley 23.45 Film 2003 00.15 FILM: Point Blank **** 01.50 Sign Zone: The Human Mind 02.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 03.35 Joins BBC News 24
06.00 CBeebies: Spot 06.10 Brum 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 Snailsbury Tales 07.30 Chuck Finn 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Blue Peter 08.30 So Little Time 08.55 Fairly Odd Parents 09.20 Really Wild Show 09.45 Arthur 10.00 CBeebies: The Story Makers 10.20 Tweenies 10.40 Bob the Builder 10.50 William's Wish Wellingtons 11.00 Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons 11.30 The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 13.00 FILM: Hotel Reserve **** 14.30 War Walks 15.00 Country House 15.30 Flog It! 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 TOTP 2 Haircut 100, Leo Sayer, the Three Degrees, and David Hasselhoff. So he did things other than Baywatch and Knight Rider? The man’s a genius! 18.45 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 19.30 Gardeners' World 20.00 What the Industrial Revolution Did for Us 20.30 Days That Shook the World 21.00 Mind of a Millionaire 21.50 Space 22.00 Can't Take It with You 22.30 Newsnight 23.20 BBC Four on BBC Two: Coolies: How Britain Re-invented Slavery 00.30 BBC Learning Zone: Open University: Ever Wondered about Food? 01.00 Images over India 01.30 A Migrant's Heart 02.00 Secondary Schools Religious Education: KS3 Curriculum Bites 04.00 Languages: Espana Viva 5-6 05.00 Switched on: Getting Started
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Pirate Islands 09.55 Seriously Weird: part one - Alex’s giggle 10.25 ITV News Headlines; Local News and Weather 10.30 Trisha 11.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Engie Benjy 15.30 What about Mimi? 16.00 Jungle Run 16.30 Pirate Islands 17.00 I'm the Answer 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale Robert finds himself on the receiving end of Ronnie's wrath. Gloria is stunned when Pollard invites her assistant to stay. Obviously setting up for a spit-roast later. Ashley and Louise delight in fuelling village gossip. What with Pollard and his sexual japes, it’s a wonder they need to make anything up. 20.00 The National Television Awards Expect Judy Finnegan to hide shamefully in a corner. And Richard Madeley to look extremely smug. Matthew Kelly to scoop ‘Most Improved Paedo’ award! 22.00 ITV News at Ten 22.30 Karaoke Queen 23.00 Fishlock's Wild Tracks 23.30 Rugby World Cup 2003 00.30 FILM: The War Lord *** 02.30 Today with Des and Mel 03.20 World Sport 03.45 Football League Extra 04.25 ITV Nightscreen 05.30 ITV Early Morning News
The National Television Awards ITV1 8pm
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Dennis a Dannedd 10.00 FILM: Sailors Three *** 11.35 In Your Face 11.55 The Kindness of Strangers 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Wil Cwac Cwac 12.40 Planed Plant Bach: Pei Pwmpen 13.00 Planed Plant Bach: Dic a Dei a Delyth 13.15 Fifteen to One 13.45 Tales from River Cottage 14.15 Home from Home 14.45 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Cawl Potsh 16.25 Planed Plant: Y Rhagalen Wirion Na 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Friends 19.00 Wedi 7 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Pobol y Cwm What will Britt and Teg name their baby? They could combine their names to come up with Britteg, who will spend her life wearing school uniform and warbling something about the founder of the Scouts. 20.25 Wawffactor! 21.00 Welsh in a Week 21.30 Wife Swap 22.30 Lifer 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Cutting Edge 01.15 FILM: Bram Stoker's Dracula *** This gave me nightmares when I first saw it, but then I do have far worse nightmares about Alex and Michael Jackson. Not together - that would scare you to death. 03.35 FILM: Theatre of Death **
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.25 Don't Blame the Koalas 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 Charlie's Angels 15.40 FILM: For All Time ** 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away 18.30 Family Affairs Cameron reports Jake's absence to the police. Yasmin and Mars are asked to enter a Mr and Mrs competition but would they get away with it? Melanie is terrified about Chloe. I would be too: knowing a bestial necrophiliac is always a problem. Actually, my obsession with bestial necrophiliacs is starting to wear a bit thin - am I flogging a dead horse? 19.00 five news 19.30 Lights, Camera, Accident Channel, five, shit. 20.00 At Home with the Eubanks 21.00 CSI: Miami 21.55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22.50 Family Killers: Love and Murder - FKA California v Menendez 23.40 La Femme Nikita 00.30 NFL Game of the Week: San Diego Chargers v Miami Dolphins 03.45 NFL Extra
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
C4
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Tupac's Rock Shrine 19.30 Fightbox 20.00 Liquid News 20.30 What Not to Wear Crotchless knickers when you’re over fifty. 21.00 Little Britain 21.30 Dead Ringers No 1: TV Andy as Ewan McGregor. No 2: TV John as a vampire. Well, it is nearly Halloween. 22.00 EastEnders Lisa uses her wiles on Dennis. Yeech, poor Dennis. She is, after all, a gnome. One with huge tits, I grant you, but a gnome all the same. Let’s hope Dennis’ fishing rod goes nowhere near her - I hear hobbit herpes is extremely painful. 22.30 Burn It 23.00 Anna in Wonderland: Cage Fighters 23.30 Vinnie 00.00 Liquid News 00.30 Fightbox 01.00 Burn It 01.30 Get Staffed 02.00 CCTV 02.30 New Tycoons 03.00 Liquid News 03.30 Fightbox
08.15 Rugby World Cup 2003: Georgia v Uruguay 10.40 Planet's Funniest Animals 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.45 Ask a Silly Question 18.00 Coronation Street Lucy tries to drive a wedge between Peter and Shelley but it becomes clear she now has more than one enemy in her sights. Group sex ahoy! 18.30 Rugby World Cup 2003 19.30 The National Television Awards: On the Red Carpet 20.00 Inspector Morse 22.00 The National Television Awards: Party Exclusive 22.30 Celebrities Exposed 23.30 Real Crime: Who Killed the Pageant Queen? 00.30 Jerry Springer 01.15 Late Show with David Letterman 02.05 Felicity 02.40 Teleshopping 03.40 Trisha 04.30 Trisha Extra 04.50 Judge Judy 05.10 David Letterman
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends Joey's duck swallows Ross's wedding ring. The ecstasy is so great that Joey vomits, shits himself and comes all in one foulsmelling go. 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 The West Wing 22.00 Sex and the City 22.30 Father Ted 23.05 Father Ted 23.40 V Graham Norton 00.15 Kingpin 01.10 Hollyoaks 01.40 The Salon 02.10 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 02.55 Sex and the City The office is extremely quiet as a rather smug Alex has scarpered - no doubt to work on his story of his new flame. Does the poor boy know that we saw him buy the Anal Intruder from Ann Summers last week? I’m just about ready to pull chute myself - we all have the office lurgee and are looking like extras form Thriller. And TV John isn’t even here today.
06.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Pokemon Advanced 08.00 Pokemon Advanced 08.30 The Simpsons 09.00 Gamezville 10.00 World Wrestling Entertainment: The Bottom Line 11.00 Futurama 11.30 Malcolm in the Middle 12.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 13.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 14.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 15.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 The Simpsons 20.30 Magic Unmasked is normally very frightening - for example, David Copperfield. He must have performed some evil hallucination trick on poor Claudia Schiffer. 21.30 The Simpsons 22.00 FILM: Drop Zone *** 23.55 Star Trek: The Next Generation 00.55 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 01.50 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 02.40 Philly 03.30 Shipmates 03.55 Dead Like Me 04.45 Dirty Money is as good as clean money, as far as I’m concerned. 05.10 Guilty!
06.00 The Magic Roundabout 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 Roseanne 10.00 Ed 10.55 Judging Amy 11.45 Water Stories 12.30 Cheers 13.00 Icons: Rita Hayworth 13.10 FILM: The Battle of the Sexes **** 14.45 Fifteen to One 15.15 Countdown 16.00 A Place in the Sun 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Hollyoaks 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.55 The Rory Peck Awards 2003 20.00 Property Ladder Revisited 21.00 Wife Swap 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Mariah Carey: The Billion Dollar Babe 23.45 Brookside 01.15 The Secret Life of Us 02.05 The Secret Life of Us: TV Desk creep into your rooms at night just to watch you have a furtive wank in front of Eurotrash. Then we have a cup of tea and go home. 03.00 Enterprise 03.45 Stargate SG-1 04.30 Where's Bingo Betty? Probably down at Gala as we speak, drinking G&T and winking at the bingo caller, letting her wrinkly flange hang out of her high-waisters. The hussy. 05.35 In Your Face: Sir Bobby Charlton by Peter Edwards 05.50 Animated Tales of the World
Where’s Bingo Betty? C4 4.30am
Tuesday 28 October
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0
STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFFICER The SWD Officer is here to represent students with disabilities and help with any problems they may encounter, as well as organising awareness campaigns about related issues. In the past, these have included Disability Awareness Weeks, talks on disability issues, and lobbying for improved services and access. CANDIDATES
PROPOSED
SECONDED
Sarah Rennie Rachel Hughes
Tanvi Vyas Stephanie Rhymes
Laura Skuse Anna Thomas
Or RON (Re - Open Nominations)
STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFFICER RACHEL HUGHES Why should you vote for me? • As a student with a disability I understand the problems faced by students with disabilities - I’ve been there myself. • I will do everything I possibly can to help solve problems that students with disabilities face. • I will work with the university to try to improve disability provision. • I’ll make the voice of students heard. • And the biggest reason of all…because I CARE!
COMMITTED - APPROACHABLE -THERE FOR YOU
Students with Disabilities Officer
VOTE SARAH
• A lifetime of experience - a permanent wheelchair user. • Volunteer for disability advice line. • Mentoring Adults/Children with learning difficulties. • Everybody deserves a voice • I am approachable, compassionate, understanding and experienced • I am determined to champion the rights of disabled students.
FIGHTING FOR FAIRNESS
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0
STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFFICER The SWD Officer is here to represent students with disabilities and help with any problems they may encounter, as well as organising awareness campaigns about related issues. In the past, these have included Disability Awareness Weeks, talks on disability issues, and lobbying for improved services and access. CANDIDATES
PROPOSED
SECONDED
Sarah Rennie Rachel Hughes
Tanvi Vyas Stephanie Rhymes
Laura Skuse Anna Thomas
Or RON (Re - Open Nominations)
STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFFICER RACHEL HUGHES Why should you vote for me? • As a student with a disability I understand the problems faced by students with disabilities - I’ve been there myself. • I will do everything I possibly can to help solve problems that students with disabilities face. • I will work with the university to try to improve disability provision. • I’ll make the voice of students heard. • And the biggest reason of all…because I CARE!
COMMITTED - APPROACHABLE -THERE FOR YOU
Students with Disabilities Officer
VOTE SARAH
• A lifetime of experience - a permanent wheelchair user. • Volunteer for disability advice line. • Mentoring Adults/Children with learning difficulties. • Everybody deserves a voice • I am approachable, compassionate, understanding and experienced • I am determined to champion the rights of disabled students.
FIGHTING FOR FAIRNESS
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0
POSTGRADUATE OFFICER The Postgraduate Students Officer is a new role created to ensure that the thousand of Postgraduate students at Cardiff have full representation. They also Chair for the Postgraduate Students Representative Committee (PGSRC) and maintain close ties with the Graduate Centre. CANDIDATES
PROPOSED
SECONDED
Nitin Garg Ngwu Franklin
Tushar Choraria Ufuk Secgin
Gaurav Giupta Erika Sotoz
Or RON (Re - Open Nominations)
POSTGRADUATE OFFICER T
k n i h
Nitin Garg
Vo te
(Tintin)
∞ Lived for 3 years in Cardiff as an undergraduate and quite familiar with the problems faced by the students in University. ∞ Want to work for the benefit of the postgraduate students so as to entitle them for more facilities. ∞ Campaign for the reduction in the fees for postgraduate study for international students. ∞ Effectively communicate with the postgraduate students and voice their concerns before higher authorities. ∞ Organise socio-cultural events for postgraduate students to help them meet each other
!IF YOU THINK VOTING FOR ME IS WRONG, THEN YOU DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT! EMEKA FRANKLIN AS POSTGRADUATE OFFICER ENSURE THAT UNDERGRADUATES UNDERSTAND THE OPPORTUNITIES TO STUDY POSTGRADUATE COURSES MOST POSTGRADS ARE INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS SO A COMMITTEE SHOULD BE SET UP TO DISCUSS RELEVANT MATTERS ENSURE MORE COMMUNICATION BETWEEN UNDERGRADUATES AND POSTGRADUATES LIAISE WITH ALL RELEVANT PEOPLE TO IMPROVE THINGS – HOUSING, TRANSPORT, SOCIALISING etc. CREATE OPPORTUNITIES WITH WORK EXPERIENCE,. PLACEMENTS etc. REPRESENT POSTGRADUATES IN ALL ASPECTS OF UNION LIFE CREATE SOCIAL AND ACADEMIC LINKS WILL POSTGRADUATES FROM OTHER INSTITUTIONS
EMEKA FRANKLIN: CAMPAIGNING FOR POSITIVE CHANGE
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0
POSTGRADUATE OFFICER The Postgraduate Students Officer is a new role created to ensure that the thousand of Postgraduate students at Cardiff have full representation. They also Chair for the Postgraduate Students Representative Committee (PGSRC) and maintain close ties with the Graduate Centre. CANDIDATES
PROPOSED
SECONDED
Nitin Garg Ngwu Franklin
Tushar Choraria Ufuk Secgin
Gaurav Giupta Erika Sotoz
Or RON (Re - Open Nominations)
POSTGRADUATE OFFICER T
k n i h
Nitin Garg
Vo te
(Tintin)
∞ Lived for 3 years in Cardiff as an undergraduate and quite familiar with the problems faced by the students in University. ∞ Want to work for the benefit of the postgraduate students so as to entitle them for more facilities. ∞ Campaign for the reduction in the fees for postgraduate study for international students. ∞ Effectively communicate with the postgraduate students and voice their concerns before higher authorities. ∞ Organise socio-cultural events for postgraduate students to help them meet each other
!IF YOU THINK VOTING FOR ME IS WRONG, THEN YOU DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT! EMEKA FRANKLIN AS POSTGRADUATE OFFICER ENSURE THAT UNDERGRADUATES UNDERSTAND THE OPPORTUNITIES TO STUDY POSTGRADUATE COURSES MOST POSTGRADS ARE INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS SO A COMMITTEE SHOULD BE SET UP TO DISCUSS RELEVANT MATTERS ENSURE MORE COMMUNICATION BETWEEN UNDERGRADUATES AND POSTGRADUATES LIAISE WITH ALL RELEVANT PEOPLE TO IMPROVE THINGS – HOUSING, TRANSPORT, SOCIALISING etc. CREATE OPPORTUNITIES WITH WORK EXPERIENCE,. PLACEMENTS etc. REPRESENT POSTGRADUATES IN ALL ASPECTS OF UNION LIFE CREATE SOCIAL AND ACADEMIC LINKS WILL POSTGRADUATES FROM OTHER INSTITUTIONS
EMEKA FRANKLIN: CAMPAIGNING FOR POSITIVE CHANGE
Media
Page 14
October 25 2003
grmedia@cf.ac.uk
Xpress aim for number one Student station gets four Radio 1 award nominations
By Bec Storey Media Correspondent
C
ardiff University’s student media has done it again. Xpress Radio has been nominated for four Radio 1 Student Radio Awards. Out of a possible 12 categories Xpress Radio has managed to be put forward for some of the most prestigious awards’ shortlists. Most importantly, they’re up for Student Radio Station of the Year along with Best Female Presenter, Best Technical Innovation and Best Speech-Based NonFactual Programme. Xpress Radio has already scooped many awards and was nominated for a record-breaking 10 awards last year. The Student Radio Awards are highly regarded
among the industry with many of the winners going on to work in top industry jobs. The awards are organised by the Student Radio Association annually, and are open to anyone involved in student radio. The organisation was set up in 1996 and since then has continued to have a huge impact on the image and respect given to student radio. Hundreds of student broadcasters enter demo tapes at the end of the academic year to be judged over the summer by a panel of experts. The nominations are announced at the start of the next academic year. This year one of five events around the country was held in Cardiff at Yates Bar on Saturday October 18. The event was organised by Reena Gopaul, Wales’s representative for the Student Radio Association, who believes that “student
Xpress station manager Karen Sharp, left, with SRA events officer Heidi Hansen
WHO ARE XPRESS RADIO UP AGAINST? BEST STATION: Demon FM (De Montford Uni); LSR (Leeds); RAW (Warwick); 1449 URB (Bath); Utopia (Sunderland) BEST FEMALE PRESENTER: Alexa Bickford, Burst (Bristol); Anne Marie Spellman, Demon FM; Frankie Scully, 1449 URB; Natalie Iuurtsema, Altered Radio (Oxford); Victoria Charles, Utopia
Media Muddle And so to Lancaster’s Scan, which has graced these pages before. Following on from their riveting building special, their latest issue not only contains such highlights like a review of Mein Kampf (I’m sure our books section has never got THAT desperate) but also an interview with Steve Davis! Media is eagerly waiting to see if they can top this. A first time arrival in the gair rhydd office this week was Durham’s Palatinate. Although well designed and well written it’s produced in broadsheet form, which would make it incredibly difficult to read in the student pub without looking like a pretentious wanker. We
at GR suspect that it’s designed not for its own students but to catch the eye of judges at certain media awards. In which case they may wish to run a spell check on their main headline. Nottingham Trent’s message from the president (which is accompanied by lots of random polka dots in the background) talks about how he wants to avoid student clichés. Which is why the paper obviously included a picture of traffic cones at this bottom of the article... Headline of the week goes to UEA’s Concrete - “Headmaster acquitted of fish assault”. The man was alleged to have shoved a fish into a pupil’s mouth. We’re herring the police are still carping on about it and coudn’t see the joke.
radio is the best way to gain experience and connections within the business”. The event was a great success with Xpress Radio’s executive team out in force, eager to find out the nominations. Station Manager Karen Sharp at one point exclaimed, “I can’t decide whether I’m excited or nervous!” Representatives from the Bath and Essex University radio stations were also present, making the atmosphere both electrifying and competitive. The announcements were made by Huw Rodma, of Radio 1 Wales. Huw has been a judge twice before for the Student Radio Awards and believes student radio is a very important part of the industry: “[It] does the job of local stations; if you turn on Red Dragon you could be anywhere, but student radio reflects the local cultures.” Huw got involved with the awards to help student radio gain the recognition he feels it merits: “I think America gets a lot of publicity for its student radio stations as they uncover new bands, but Britain has some great stations too”. Huw started his career in radio through Hospital Radio, starting off like all the greats do - making cups of tea! He spent most of his time making demo tapes and sending them to anyone who would listen, before getting a slot reading the news on Radio Cymbr once a week which is where Radio 1’s Bethan Elfyn found him. She passed on his tapes to Radio 1 and the rest, as they say, is history! Huw became Radio 1’s youngest DJ, starting while he was doing his A-levels. He now presents Radio 1 Wales evening session 8-10pm on a Thursday and fills in with Bethan Elfyn for Steve Lamacq. Cardiff University holds its own Media Awards annually, representing the Film Society, gair rhydd and Xpress Radio. They are judged by industry professionals and are seen as a good indication to who will be on the shortlist for the Radio 1 Student Radio Awards. Last year representatives from the Telegraph, Empire, BBC Wales and Red Dragon were on the judging panel. Claire Williams won Best Female Presenter at the Cardiff Media Awards and on Saturday was
nominated in the same category at the Student Radio Awards. Claire graduated from Cardiff University last year and now works for The Wave in Swansea. Andrew Lindsey is nominated for his What’s Wrong With The World? (Part II) show in the category of Best Speech-Based Non-Factual programme. Greg Shepard, Paul Reynolds and James Twigger are also up for Best Technical Innovation. Finally, Xpress Radio are up for Student Radio Station of the Year. Last year they came away with silver, but this year they want gold. They’re up against five other stations including Utopia, the Sunderland University station who are nominated for the most awards this year – seven. The winner of the Student Radio Station of the Year Award receives one hour of broadcasting time on Radio 1. Although the slot is late in the evening, the winning station will still get a few million listeners! The awards ceremony will be held in London on November 21, and will be hosted by Radio 1’s Emma B. The location is still to be announced.
Tense: Xpress DJs wait for nominations
Taf-Od
25 Hydref 2003
Tud 15
tafod@cf.ac.uk
Wedi’i Dal Hi!
Adolygiad o Dal Hi! gan Caryl Lewis [Gwasg y Lolfa] £5.95 Gan Sara Louise Davies
Aber yn arwain (ac yn cau) y ffordd Panty yn brasgamu i’r gad - ond be am Gaerdydd?
A finne yn Gardi oddi cartre, bûm yn edrych ymlaen yn arw at ddarllen y nofel Dal Hi! gan Caryl Lewis. Cyhoeddwyd hi nôl ym mis Gorffennaf, a’i choroni yn Nofel y Mis, ac mae hi wedi derbyn llwyth o gyhoeddusrwydd ers hynny. Ond rhag ofn eich bod chi’n anghyfarwydd â hi, nofel am dîm tynnu rhaff merched o odre Ceredigion yw Dal Hi! Mae’r plot yn un syml: criw o ferched cefn gwlad sydd yma sy’n hoff o garu, meddwi, a thynnu (ym mhob ystyr y gair). Mae Heledd, y prif gymeriad, newydd ddychwelyd adre i fferm ei rhieni ar ôl bod yn y coleg, a darlun o’r cyfnod hwnnw rhwng gorffen coleg a phenderfynu beth wedyn sydd yma mewn gwirionedd. Cymharwyd Dal Hi! gyda nofel Amdani! Bethan Gwanas, ac mae’r gyfochredd yn amlwg. Mae’r naill yn darlunio criw o ferched mewn ardal wledig yn y gorllewin yn tynnu rhaff a’r llall yn disgrifio criw o ferched mewn ardal wledig yn y gogledd yn chwarae rygbi. Mae Dal Hi!, ar un ystyr, yn llwyddo i ddilyn ei chwys ei hun. Mae’r iaith liwgar yn fwrlwm o dafodiaith naturiol Sir Geredigion, rhywbeth prin iawn mewn print. Ceir digon o regi a theyrnasu ond hefyd ambell i ddisgrifiad cofiadwy, pob un bron yn ymwneud â dihuno gyda phenmaenmawr! Ond sai cweit mor siwr, yn y pendraw, os yw hi’n gallu dal ei thir gyda Amdani!. Mae’r seiliau yma am nofel dda ond credaf mai dim ond crafu’r wyneb mae’r awdures wedi’i wneud, a bod angen twrio’n ddyfnach er mwyn creu plot a chymeriadau sy’n argyhoeddi. Serch hynny, mi wnes i wir fwynhau darllen y nofel, a mawr obeithiaf y bydd yna ddilyniant iddi fel yr awgrymir ar y diwedd.
Learn and Live Dysgu Byw Some vital phrases to get the Welsh language virgin started! Gair neu ddau i helpu’r rhai ansicr eu taf-od yn y Gymraeg! When dawn broke, I noticed with joy that the sun was smiling. Pan dorrodd y wawr, sylwais gyda llawenydd fod yr haul yn gwenu. Did you see the sunset last night? It was most magnificent. A welaist ti’r machlud neithiwr y nos? Yr oedd mor ysblennydd. I love all moonlit nights. Yr ydwyf yn caru pob nos olau leuad.
Uchod: myfyrwyr Aber yn herio’r drefn (a rheolau’r ffordd fawr) Gan Rhys Iorwerth Nid ar chwarae bach y bydd neb yn Taf-Od yn teimlo’r angen (o gwbl!) i roi sylw i fyfyrwyr Aberystwyth a’u pethau. Nhw ddewisiodd fynd i’r Coleg ger y Lli ac yn y fan honno, i bob rheswm, y dylai’r anffodusion aros. Ond mi fuodd yna brotest yn Aber yr wythnos diwetha sy’n haeddu ychydig o’n sylw ni i gyd. Am wyth o’r gloch un bore dydd Llun, mi gasglodd yna ddau gant o’r myfyrwyr ym Mhantycelyn cyn gorymdeithio i fyny tuag at y
campws. Wedi cyrraedd, dyma eistedd ar eu pen-olau ar y lôn gan flocio’r traffig a rhwystro mynediad i rai o adeiladau’r Brifysgol. Mi gafodd y cyfan sylw’r wasg genedlaethol, a phrin fod angen dweud iddyn nhw godi cryn gywilydd ar arweinwyr y coleg a rhoi’u hunain yn llygaid y byd yn y fargen. Ond mi oedd achos y brotest – a’r rheswm dros yr helynt – yn rhywbeth y dylai pob myfyriwr Cymraeg yma yn y brifddinas ei ystyried. Cwyno oedden nhw am brinder trychinebus addysg uwch drwy gyfrwng y Gymraeg, ac os ydi myfyrwyr Aberystwyth yn
teimlo rheidrwydd i godi llais, efallai’n wir y dylen ni yng Nghaerdydd fwrw golwg neu ddau yn y drych. "Mae pethau’n druenus yma," meddai Osian Rhys, Swyddog yr Iaith Gymraeg yn Aber, "a digon yw digon." "Dydyn ni ddim am ddioddef yr anghyfiawnder hwn yn ein gwlad ein hunain," meddai Catrin Dafydd, Llywydd UMCA ac un o drefnwyr y brotest. "Mae’r myfyrwyr wedi hen alaru." Y ddadl yn syml ydi nad oes gan neb sicrwydd y byddan nhw’n gallu dilyn eu cyrsiau drwy gyfrwng y Gymraeg, er bod llawer o’r adrannau wedi addo’r ffaith yn wreiddiol. Ac mae hi’n gwestiwn mwy os ydi hynny, hyd yn oed, yn digwydd yng Nghaerdydd. Yr ateb, yn ôl llawer, ydi sefydlu Coleg Ffederal yng Nghymru, a fyddai’n rhoi blaenoriaeth ganolog a stwythur pendant i addysg drwy gyfrwng y Gymraeg. Ar ôl y brotest, aeth Jane Hutt, Gweinidog Addysg y Cynulliad, mor bell â chydnabod fod hynny’n bosibilrwydd yn y dyfodol. Ond dim ond yn y dyfodol pell – ar hyn o bryd ychydig iawn iawn o fyfyrwyr Caerdydd sy’n gallu dewis dilyn eu cyrsiau yn y Gymraeg. Sut mae pawb yn teimlo am y peth? Mae cyfeiriad TafOd ar y top.
Gair i Gall gan Geraint Gan Geraint Brython Edwards Rennes, Hydref 25ain 2003 Helo, Bonjour a Demat o Lydaw! Rhag ofn bod rhai ohonoch chi’n pendronni lle'r ydw i y semestr hwn, rydw i’n treulio blwyddyn allan eleni yng ngwlad y chouchenn a'r garlleg fel rhan o fy nghwrs Gyfraith a Ffrangeg. Roedd gennyf ddewis o blith sawl dinas y gallwn fynd iddi, ond yn y pen draw fe ddewisiais Rennes/Roazhon, sef prifddinas hynafol Llydaw. Ac er bod pethau wedi bod yn ddyrys yma weithiau, mae bywyd wedi bod yn reit dda ar y cyfan! Fel y gallwch ddychmygu, mae bywyd coleg fan hyn yn bur wahanol o'i gymharu â Chaerdydd. Dim Undeb Myfyrwyr, cyfrifiaduron o oes y cerrig (Windows 98 myn uffar i!), darlithoedd yn para tair awr, hyd at 40 myfyriwr mewn un tiwtorial, a dim nosweithiau Gym Gym. Mae'n brofiad gwahanol, yn ddiamheuaeth, ond dwi'n meddwl fy mod i'n dechrau dod i arfer â’r gyfundrefn Ffrengig yma bellach. Mae fy fflat (dwi'n rhannu efo Albanes ac Almaenwr) reit yng nghanol dinas Rennes, lleoliad
Geraint Brython Edwards: mewn lle da yn Llydaw gwych ar gyfer llety myfyrwyr. Bu inni drefnu parti yn ein fflat ychydig benwythnosau yn ol: noson fythgofiadwy, gyda myfyrwyr o bedwar ban byd yn cydganu a chydfeddwi! Mae partion mewn fflatiau myfyrwyr yn boblogaidd iawn fan hyn, gan bod gwin yr archfarchnadoedd mor rhad. Chi bobl sydd yn mynd i Salisbury Superstore i nol eich Lambrini neu'ch Oranjebooms - os am fargen go iawn ar y cwrw a'r Bordeaux, dewch i Rennes!
Un peth sydd yn greiddiol i fywyd pob dydd fan hyn yw'r "diwylliant caffi", rhywbeth y mae Lôn y Felin (y "cafe quarter") yng Nghaerdydd yn trio yn galed, ond yn eithaf aflwyddianus, i'w chyflawni! Ochr arall i ganol y ddinas, yn yr Hen Rennes, y ceir y rhan fwyaf o'r bwytai, y caffis a'r tafarndai. Fan'na y mae'r stryd fechan yna a anfarwolwyd gan Meic Stevens, y Rue Saint Michel, a adwaenir ar lafar fel "Rue de la soif", h.y. Stryd y Syched! Rhywbeth arall sydd yn gwneud Rennes yn lle da i fyw ynddo yw'r sin ddiwylliannol, yn enwedig y sin Lydawaidd. Bu imi fod mewn Fest Noz ryw bythefnos yn ôl noson llawn hwyl (ond chwyslyd hefyd!). Yn ogystal â mynychu'r twmpathau dawns Llydawaidd gwyllt hyn, rydw i wedi ymrestru ar gyfer dosbarth nos wlpan Llydaweg, gan obeithio ynganu rhywfaint o'r iaith erbyn diwedd y flwyddyn. Dyna'r oll sydd yna i’w ddweud am rwan. Gobeithio bod pawb ohonoch yn cael amser da, mwynhewch y tymor! Kenavo, Geraint.
COLOFN Y COFI ALLTUD (IV) Wel, dyma fi wedi dychwelyd, ac mi fuaswn i wrth fy modd yn deud mai wythnos ddigon di-nod arall oedd hi yn hanes y Cofi Alltud. Ond gwaetha’r modd, mae yna amgylchiadau sydd y tu hwnt i bob rheolaeth yn fy rhwystro i’n lân rhag cyhoeddi’r ffasiwn beth. Ar ôl helynt yr wythnos diwetha hefo’r bownsars, y cynllun oedd cilio i’r cysgodion am sbel a gadael i’r byd a’i bethau hedfan heibio heb i mi darfu rhyw ormod ar y lli. Ond mi allith rhywun ddibynnu ar ffawd i roi ei big ynddi, yn gallith, ac yn sgîl hynny gwneud bywyd yn draed moch i bawb. Yn wir, mi rydw i’n teimlo weithau fod trwbwl yn fy nilyn i rownd mor ddeddfol nes ei bod hi’n syndod nad ydi’r peth yn sticio allan o gynffon ar fy nghefn. Un ai hynny, neu mi rydw i fel rhyw bla sy’n chwilio yn bwrpasol am drwbwl a dim ond y Cofi gwiriona dan haul fuasai’n syrthio i’r twll hwnnw. Wedi bod am beint hefo’r hogia oeddwn i rhyw bnawn dydd Sul yn ddiweddar, a hwnnw wedi troi yn ddiwrnod digon hir ar y naw. Efallai y dylwn i brysuro i ychwanegu nad ydi hi’n arfer gan y Cofi Alltud i yfed ar y Sabath, ond mi oedd fy ngwddw i’n gweiddi am gael ei fedyddio a’i fedyddio, o ganlyniad, y bu’n rhaid. Ta waeth, a hithau wedi hen fachlud, dyma ei throi hi am adra cyn colli cychwyn Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol, ac i dorri siwrnai hir yn fyr dyma fenthyg beic rhyw gyfaill oedd wedi meddwi gormod i’w reidio fo ei hun. Tua decllath oedd y Cofi Alltud wedi ei deithio i lawr y lôn pan deimlodd o bresenoldeb yn ei ddilyn ar ei ôl. Mi oedd y presenoldeb hwnnw yn digwydd bod yn gar heddlu a’r panda bach hefo golau glas yn fflachio ar ei ben. "Be sy?" medda fi, ar ôl stopio. "Wyt tisio reid?" "Get off the bike," medda’r plisman. "And then stand up and face the wall." Mi oeddwn i’n dechrau meddwl ei fod o’n cael syniadau gwirion felly dyma neidio yn ôl ar gefn y beic a dechrau’i heglu hi fel ffwl am gyfeiriad y Maci, lle y gwyddwn i y cawn i noddfa saff i guddio rhag yr awdurdodau am ddiwrnod neu ddau. Ond doedd y beic dwy olwyn a’i jaen yn fawr o gop (yn fawr o gop!) yn erbyn y panda bach a chyn pen fawr o dro mi oedd un o’r sglyfaths budur wedi neidio allan ac wedi fy reslo i yn bendramwnwgwl i’r llawr. "Gwranda mêt," medda fi, yn dechra colli’n limpyn. "Lôn gyhoeddus ydi hon, a’r Cofi Alltud ydw i. Rwan, wyt ti am adael i mi fynd ta be?" Wnaeth y mochyn ddim trafferthu atab. Wel, dim hefo’i geg beth bynnag. Mi ffeindiodd y Cofi Alltud ei hun wedi’i daflu i gefn y car mewn modd diseremoni ac anurddasol a dweud y lleia, a hynny heb syniad be oedd o wedi’i wneud i gynhyrfu’r fath ddyfroedd. Mewn cell dywyll ddu y treuliais i’r noson honno, yn unig ac yn brudd a dim ond y bariau haearn a’r hiraeth am Gaernarfon yn gwmni. Erbyn y bora dyma ddallt eu bod nhw am ddwyn achos yn fe erbyn i, a hynny am reidio beic o dan ddylanwad y ddiod gadarn. Mi allwn i ddod ohoni hefo ffein, medda nhw, ond dydi carchar ddim allan o’r cwestiwn chwaith. Oes yna rywun yn nabod cyfreithiwr?
Listings
Page 16
October 25 2003
grlistings@cf.ac.uk
Cinema - Club - Pub - Art - Theatre - Sport - Quizzes - Music - Comedy
Saturday25/10
Come Play @ Solus, SU 9pm-2am £3 (NUS) Glamorous @ Creation £5 (NUS) All Inclusive @ Liquid Pay on the door and pay no more Dress code: smart (no ripped jeans or trainers) Cheesy chart, R&B, commercial dance £10(NUS) Superfly @ Barfly Classic soul, funk, disco 10.30pm-2am £3 (NUS) The Moxie Plenty @ Clwb Ifor Bach (Top Floor) Alternative hip-hop, electro, bastard pop, hooligan house, funk, punk Doors: 11pm £3 (NUS) World Party @ The Toucan Latin and world music Blueprint @ Moloko Retro disco, future house, funk, soul, R&B Bar ‘til 2am, drinks promotions all night Free entry before 10pm Duelling Pianos @ Jumpin’ Jaks Music, comedy and meaningless banter Okii Hyoshi @ Metros Chunky indie and baggy beats with DJs Kimono Oneil and Johnny Akiro 9pm-3am RnB @ Bar Ice Free entry Party Night @ Bar Med Resident DJs 9pm-2am Funk Deluxe @ The Lounge Funky US house and garage Free entry Bullet Proof @ The Coal Exchange Saturday Night Comedy @ Jongleurs
Sunday26/10 Acoustic Speakeasy @ The Toucan Chilled jam sessions, open mic from 8pm. Tapas available Until midnight Sunday Lunch @ Café Jazz 1pm-3pm Who Wants To Be A Clever Dick @ The Taf Pub quiz Kicks off at 7:30 £3 per team Hektic @ Elements Sunday sessions Hard house with resident DJ Shane Morris £3 Acoustic @ Toucan Taxi @ Moloko World music Until midnight Free entry Smooth Jazz Sunday @ The Philharmonic Free entry Acoustic Night @ Sam’s Bar £2 (NUS) Acoustic Bite @ Journeys Atmospheric acoustic 11am-midnight DJ Joe Gulis @ Walkabout
Monday27/10
Fun Factory @ Solus, SU 9pm-2am Free before 11pm, £2 after Saucy Monkey @ Creation Student classics £2 (NUS) Poohyerpants @ Liquid Student session: cheesy chart, R&B, commercial dance 50p per drink before 11pm, £1 after Casual dress £2 (NUS) Student night @ Evolution £3 (NUS) Smell The Glove @ Barfly Good-time rock’n’roll 11pm-2am £2 (NUS) Something Anything @ Moloko DJs play whatever they want Bar till 2am, drinks promotions all night Free entry Jazz Attic @ Café Jazz Jam night Sign in on the door to play from 8pm £1.50 Simple @ The Philharmonic Free Mondays @ Exit Club Cheap and cheerful chart night 7:30pm-2am £1.50 (NUS) DJ Mix selector @ Sam’s Bar Live turntable action £3 Salsa Night @ Bar Med Free food platter with every cocktail jug @ The Slug and Lettuce From 7pm Film Society @ UGC Meet in the UGC bar at 8pm for the film at 9pm; see cinema listings for details
Tuesday28/10
Comedy Network @ Seren Las. SU Doors 8pm, show 9pm £2 (NUS) The Sorrel Quartet @ University Music Department Concert Hall 7:30pm, £3 (NUS) Vodka Republic @ Creation £2 (NUS) Bounce @ Barfly Drum’n’bass 11pm-2am £2 (NUS) Rock Inferno @ Clwb Ifor Bach (upstairs) Rock, goth, metal Doors: 9pm £2.50 (NUS) I Hear A New World @ Clwb Ifor Bach (downstairs) Electronica, psychedelia, downtempo, krautrock Doors: 10pm £2 (NUS) Open Mic night @ The Toucan 8pm-midnight Superstition @ Moloko Motown, soul, nu-jazz, disco, funk Bar ‘til 2am, happy hour drinks all night Free entry Funky town @ Stylus Commercial disco, R&B flavas 9pm-2am £2 (NUS) Chill out @ The Philharmonic Free Quiz night @ Club X Face Dr Beverley Ballcrusher for cash prizes! Table service on drinks from 9pm so you can keep your heads together 6pm-11pm, free Cheese nation @ Jumpin Jaks Student night 8pm-2am offyaface @ Metros Metal, rap, punk, ska, d’n’b with DJs Rod and Mr P, no dress code 9pm-3am, £1 bottles and shots Free before 11pm, £1.50 after International night @ Journeys 4pm-midnight Salsa night @ Bar Cuba £4 a lesson
Listings
October 25 2003
Page 17
grlistings@cf.ac.uk
Cinema - Club - Pub - Art - Theatre - Sport - Quizzes - Music - Comedy gair rhydd’s day by day listings: if it’s on it’s in. With Hannah Muddiman
Wednesday29/10
Rubber Duck Club Night @ Solus, SU Prizes for the best dressed 9pm-2am, £3 (NUS) Student Session @ Liquid Cheesy chart, R&B, commercial dance Drinks 99p before midnight, £1.50 after £2 (NUS) Wednesday Social @ The Barfly Relax with a coffee and soak up the atmosphere, or even play an impromptu set Noon-2.30pm, free Express @ Barfly Party hip-hop featuring resident DJs, turntablists and breakdancers 10.30pm-2am, £2 (NUS) All Three Floors @ Clwb Ifor Bach Cheesey Club: motown, funk, disco Popscene: Indie Milky Bar: Electric chill out and Playstations 9:30pm, £2.50 (NUS) Tokyo-yo @ Moloko Resident DJs play a crazy mix of cool rare groove. Drinks promotions all night Relax @ Stylus 80s, 9pm-2am, £2 Simple @ The Philharmonic Free Wednesdays @ Club X Chart and mix, 7.30pm-2am, £1.50 (NUS) Duelling Pianos @ Jumpin Jaks 70s style Cheapskates @ Metros Alternative and cheese Double shot and mixer 80p, no dress code 9pm-2am Wednesdays @ Sam’s Bar Live bands, £2 Indie Box @ Journeys 4pm-midnight The Big Freeze @ Berlins R&B, garage Free before 11pm, £3 after Latin Night @ Life Latin music and salsa lessons £2 2 for 1 cocktails @ The Slug and Lettuce From 7pm
Where? Theatres, Concert Halls and Galleries Students’ Union Box office 02920 781458 Uni Music Dept Concert Hall Corbett Road The New Theatre Park Place 02920 878889. The Sherman Theatre Senghenydd Road 02920 646900 Butetown History & Arts Centre 5 Dock Chambers, Bute Street, Cardiff Bay 02920 256757 National Museum and Gallery Cathays Park 02920 397951 Chapter Arts Centre Canton 02920 304400 Cardiff Indoor Arena Mary Ann Street Enq: 02920 224488 St David’s Hall The Hayes Enq: 02920 878420 Box Office: 02920 878444 Live Music Barfly Kingsway Info: 02920 396589 Tickets: 08709 070999 Clwb Ifor Bach Womanby Street 02920 232199 The Coal Exchange Mount Stuart Street Cardiff Bay 02920 462311 Toucan Bar and Café 95 St Mary Street 02920 372212 Jazz Café St Mary Street 02920 387026 Blues Dragon Club Gwennyth Street (Cathays) Clubs Stylus Golate (off St Mary Street)
Thursday30/10
Climax @ Solus, SU 9pm-3am, £3 (NUS) Usual Suspects @ Creation Chart, dance, indie, old school Fresh City @ Liquid Cardiff’s premiere R&B session (apparently); dress code casual, no headgear With resident DJ Raheem (Vibe 101) and MC Echo. £2.50 Thursday Night Fever @ Barfly Put on your dancing shoes for extreme cheese 10.30pm-2am, £2 Uprising @ Clwb Ifor Bach Reggae, dub, ska Doors 10pm, £3 (NUS) Enthusiasm @ Moloko Hip-hop, d’n’b, breaks Drinks promotions all night 9pm-2am Free before 11pm, £1 after Twisted By Design @ City Arms Diverse alternative tunes Free Groove Check @ Stylus Classic soul, boogie, funk and R&B 9pm-2am, £2 (NUS) Shag-tag @ Bar X Free before midnight, £2 after Thursdays @ Exit Club Chart and mix 7.30pm-2am £1.50 (NUS) Red Dragon Radio @ Jumpin’ Jaks High school hits Spellbound @ Metros Metal, indie, fat guitars and evil beats 9pm-3am Livewire @ Bar Ice Dub, ska, reggae Northern Soul @ Journeys Ska, reggae, 60s, mod 4pm-midnight
02920 669901 Liquid St Mary Street 02920 645464 Metros (Club Metropolitan) Baker’s Row 02920 399939 Moloko 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Flares St Mary Street Reflex (80s music) St Mary Street Emporium 8-10 High Street 02920 664577 Berlins 5-9 Church Street Creation Park Place 02920 377014 Jumpin’ Jaks Millennium Plaza Wood Street Pubs and Bars Bar Cuba Unit 5, The Friary 02920 397967 Bar Risa Millennium Plaza Wood Street The George Mackintosh Place The Mackintosh Mundy Place The Woodville Woodville Road The End Wyverne Road Gassy Jacks Salisbury Road The Social Salisbury Road Inncognito Park Place Tut & Shive City Road Earnest Willows (Wetherspoon) City Road Ha! Ha! The Friary Bar Med The Friary Henry’s Park Place
Scrum Park Place BSB Windsor Place Central Bar (Wetherspoon) Windsor Place Dempseys Castle Street Rummer Tavern Duke Street RSVP St John Sreet Slug and Lettuce Working Street Gatekeeper (Wetherspoon) Womanby Street Old Orleans, Church Street O’Neill’s Trinity Street Toad Trinity Street Yates’s Westgate Street Queen’s Vaults Westgate Street Oz Bar St Mary Street Is It? Wharton Street O’Neils St Mary Street Prince of Wales (Wetherspoon) Wood Street The Square (Philharmonic) St Mary Street Kitty Flynn’s St Mary Street Kings Cross (gay pub) Mill Lane Walkabout St Mary Street Jongleurs Comedy Club St Mary Street Glee Comedy Club Bute Street, Cardiff Bay Blah Blahs St Mary Street Journeys 1 Upper Cliffton Street
Friday31/10
CinemaWeek
Friday Formula @ Creation Three floors of commercial and old school £4 (NUS) Drink Free @ Liquid Cheesy chart, R&B, commercial dance. Smart: no ripped jeans of trainers £3 entry (NUS) before 11pm, including three bottles Mad4it @ Barfly Indie classics, baggy beats, party tunes 10.30pm-2am, £3 The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach (downstairs) Guest DJs every week Psych, pop, freakbeat, garagerock, punk, R&B and beyond Doors 10pm, £3 Forward Motion @ Moloko Free before 11pm Fridays @ Exit Club Chart and mix 7.30pm-2am £1.50 (NUS) Duelling Pianos @ Jumpin Jaks Live for the weekend Chaos @ Metros The only alternative tunes to make you think/dance/drink from here, there and everywhere 9pm-3am Fridays @ Bar Ice Funky house and good grooves 8pm-2am, free Soul Dreams @ Journeys Old school R&B UpToNoGood @ The Lounge Chunky, funky vocal house Free
UCI Cardiff Finding Nemo (U) 10:30, 11:10 (not Fri), 11:45 (not Fri), 12:35 (not Fri), 13:00, 13:30, 14:30, 15:15, 15:45, 16:15, 17:15, 18:30, 18:55, 20:00 (Mon-Thurs), 20:45 (Fri-Sun), 21:10 Intolerable Cruelty (12a) 12:50 (not Fri), 15:50, 18:15, 21:00, 23:30 (Fri and Sat) Kill Bill (18) 13:10, 16:00, 17:45 (not Sun), 18:25 (Sun), 18:45, 20:25, 21:30, 23:15 (Fri and Sat) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (18) 21:00, 23:45 (Sat) Bad Boys 2 (15) 21:30 Cabin Fever (15) 20:45 (Mon-Thurs), 21:20 (Fri-Sun), 00:00 (Fri and Sat) Mystic River (15) 15:00, 18:00, 21:15 Calandar Girls (12a) 18:15 (not Tues or Thurs), 20:45 (not Tues or Thurs), 21:50 (Tues and Thurs) Down With Love (12a) 10:50 (not Fri or Sun) Secondhand Lions (PG) 13:45, 16:30, 19:10, 21:45 Dark Blue (15) (Director’s Chair) 16:00 (Sun), 19:00 (Tues) Holes (PG) 12:15 (not Fri), 15:00, 18:00 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (12a) 10:40 (not Fri or Sun), 13:20, 16:15, 18:55 Pirates Of The Caribbean (12a) 11:30 (not Fri), 21:00 (not Sat or Tue), 21:40 (Tue)
Ster Century Cinema UGC Cardiff The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (18) (Sat only) 11:40, 14:20, 16:40, 19:00, 21:30, 23:50 In America (15) (Wed only) 20:30 Intolerable Cruelty (12a) 11:00, 13:20, 15:40, 18:10, 20:30, 23:00 (Sat and Sun only) Party Monster (15) 11:20, 14:00, 16:30, 18:50, 21:20, 23:40 (Fri and Sat) 11:10, 13:30, 16:00, 18:20, 20:50 (Sun-Thurs) The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (12a) 11:55, 14:40, 17:25, 20:00, 22:50 (Fri and Sat) Mystic River (15) 20:30 (Sat) 11:30, 14:30, 17:25, 20:30 (Sun-Thurs) Finding Nemo (U) 11:30, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:00, 16:00, 17:00, 18:00, 20:30 (Sat) 11:30, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:00, 16:00, 17:00, 18:00, 18:30, 20:30 (Sun-Thurs) Down With Love (12a) 17:20 (Sat and Sun) Mon-Wed: 11:30, 14:30, 17:20 (Mon-Wed) 14:30, 17:20 (Thurs) Pirates Of The Caribbean (12a) 11:00, 14:00 (Sat and Sun) Life Is Beautiful (PG) 21:00 (Thurs) Secondhand Lions (PG) 11:40, 14:45, 17:30, 20:20 Holes (PG) 11:20, 14:15, 17:20, 20:00 Spellbound (U) 11:00, 13:20, 15:50, 18:20, 20:45, 23:10 (Sat-Thurs) Kill Bill (18) 11:00, 12:40, 13:30, 15:20, 16:10, 18:00, 18:50, 20:40, 21:30 (Sat) 11:55. 13:00, 14:30, 15:40, 17:30, 18:20, 20:30, 21:15 (Sun-Thurs) 23:20, 00:10 (Fri and Sat) Comandante (PG) 21:00 (Sun-Thurs) Cabin Fever (15) 11:55, 14:30, 17:00, 19:15, 21:00 (Sat-Mon) 11:55, 14:30, 21:30 (Tues) 11:55, 14:30, 17:00, 19:15, 21:30 (Wed and Thurs) 23:45 (Fri and Sat) Bad Boys 2 (15) 10:50, 14:30, 17:45, 21:00 (Sat and Sun) 10:50, 14:30 (Mon) 10:50, 14:30, 17:45, 21:00 (Tue-Thurs) Calendar Girls (12a) 20:00 (Sat and Sun) 20:00 (Tue-Thurs) Cardiff University Film Society Film Of The Week: No Mans Land (15) Monday 9pm, meet the society in the bar from 8pm
Holes (PG) 11:50, 14:30, 17:20, 20:10 Intolerable Cruelty (12) 12:50, 15:10, 17:30, 19:50, 22:10 Second Hand Lions (PG) 11:40, 14:10, 16:40, 19:05 Bad Boys 2 (15) 12:05, 15:10, 18:15, 21:20 Calendar Girls (12a) 14:10, 16:40 Down With Love (12a) 13:45, 16:10, 18:40, 21:25 Finding Nemo (U) 11:35, 12:00, 13:00, 14:00, 15:00, 16:00, 17:00, 18:00, 19:00, 20:00, 21:00, 22:00 Kill Bill (18) 11:45, 14:15, 16:45, 19:15, 21:45 Mystic River (15) 12:15, 15:05, 18:05, 21:05 Once Upon A Time In Mexico (15) 22:35 Piglets Big Movie (U) 11:30, 13:30 Pirates of The Caribbean (12a) 19:25 Rugrats go Wild (U) 12:10 The Italian Job (12a) 15:15, 17:40, 20:15 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (12a) 12:20, 14:40, 17:10, 19:35, 22:15 Underworld (15) 22:05 Halloween Fright Week Film Special The Eye (15) 21:30 (Mon only) The Blair Witch Project (15) 21:30 (Tues only) Ginger Snaps (18) 21:30 (Wed only) The Crow (18) 21:30 (Thurs only)
Television
October 25 2003
Page 19
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Your essential guide to this week’s TV 25 October to 31 October
Do you like scary movies? CH4 certainly do with 4 hours of horror favourites
HOT Alien - The Directors Cut The Bitch is back - remastered and with even more spine chilling xenomorph action. One of the finest ever sci-fi films gets a timely re-release and will definitely eviscerate the dire Chainsaw Massacre remake at the box office.
SOAPS It’s all sex and death this week, which is fine by me, nymphomaniac necrophiliac as I am. And if you are anything like me, you’ll be loving soapworld... Over in EastEnders, Barry and Paul both get lucky with Janine ok, not lucky, but every hole’s a goal, y’know. And that Lisa is certainly letting her flange taste the air of freedom as she attempts to seduce a hapless Dennis. Toadie gets his wedding photos - though we may not get to see the ones he took in the morgue - dead isn’t consensual, Toad. Steph has the canker, but hey, we got to see her naked shoulder! And she breaks up with Max, which may (or may not) involve scenes of her ‘flying solo’, so to speak. And affairs abound in Emmerdale - though why you would have an affair where everyone’s related, I don’t know.
BOO! Made you jump? Well if I didn’t C4 and S4C will certainly try as they announce The 100 Greatest Scary Moments, as voted for by the good British public (Saturday and Sunday, 10.30pm). Whist I’m sure there’ll be plenty of our chest-bursting, head-spinning, shower-murdering favourites there’ll hopefully be some more unusual choices amongst the scares. For instance I used to get scared witless by early Suger Puff adverts where the child burst out of his pyjamas and the traumatising sight of Judge Doom with his bulging eyes and chainsaw arm in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? It’s all glitzy for us TV loving types this week - yes, it’s time for the National Television Awards again! (Tuesday, ITV, 8pm). Famed for the venue where Judy Finnegan gave us more than an eyeful, here’s hoping that someone will collect that most coveted of awards, the Most Embarrassing Moment 2003. Although how to beat that matronly yet somehow alluring flash is beyond my power to imagine. Anyway, it’s bound to be entertaining in a mindless way, especially as the king of inane likeability, Trevor McDonald, is presenting. But on Thursday you really should be counting your terrestrial blessings - Channel 4 has come up with a corker, showing us the glorious Ring just in time for Halloween (12.20pm). The most horrifying thing about this film is that it is scary in the most pared-down and original way your
DIGITAL WATCH The Americans are much better comedy writers than the British will ever be. A controversial statement possibly, but on the evidence of the arrival of the second series of Curb Your Enthusiam on BBC4 this Tuesday (10.30pm) one that’s undeniably true. For the unintiated, Curb Your Enthusiam is what Seinfeld creator Larry David did next after the retirement of his former comedic masterpiece. A superb mixture between his former creation’s great characters, wry observations, finely plotted wit and the documentary style format of The Office (David plays himself in the series). Each episode usually begins with an innocuous enough incident which inexorably leads our hero to another nightmare situation. This week Larry tries to plan some script meetings with former Seinfeld colleague Jason Alexander. After a spectacular bust up he’s forced to come face to face with Jeff’s foul mouthed ex-wife Susie, gets into trouble over a remark about a female friend’s bottom and has a run-in with a speed camera. That’s not to mention the road rage incident with a professional wrestler called Thor. In turns both cringingly and pant-wettingly funny CYE is truly the comedic connoisseur’s choice. Could you ever see the writers of My Family beat this?
imagination is the fuel for being frightened. Even if you have seen the American version, which is also very good, it’s worth watching just to see how each version adapted the material to make such different and yet both terrifying films. Even if you’re not scared by films, the final sequence is enough to put anyone off sleeping alone for a while. Wednesday sees both C4 and Sky One plumb the depths of low brow TV with Sex Rules: Fuck Buddies (10.40pm) and 101 Things Removed from the Human Body (10.00pm) respectively. C4’s documentary looks at men and women who go looking for friends to have regular sex with, without the restaints of a relationship. Whilst this could describe nearly 90% of the people in Lash on a Friday, hopefully this programme will highlight
the fact that regular sex comes with more emotional attachment than many people think and is not something to be handed out willynilly (arf!) without the possibility of psychological trauma. Just look at the major soaps and sitcoms for the overwhelming evidence. Or maybe we should just shack up with our best mates and be done with it. 101 Things Removed... looks likey to follow on from Jackass’ Ass X-ray antics, apparently including a javelin, bike pump and live grenade. Not one to watch whilst having your tea methinks. Hopefully it’ll be bettee than the office survey, where the most interesting item removed was Riath’s foreskin... Bringing up the rear, quite literally, is Monday’s pick, which is the highly dubious Shooting the Loaded Calendar (five, 10.50pm) a fairly self explanatory documentary about a selection of salacious bints getting naked in Ibiza while some suits wipe cloths over their steaming lenses. Phwoar! Or not. Keeping with the horror theme, given it is Halloween and all, why not stay up and watch Halloween Forever (ITV1, Friday, 1.45am) because it will be amazing. How “scary” the artists are going to be is a mystery, but expect more video clips and sarcasm in veritable quantities. Possibly the entire Thriller video, Probably something not particularly scary, like Firestarter. Although you’ll all be out trick or treating anyway, so bugger off. Love TV John xxx
VIDEOS TO RENT : BUY Hmm.... My extensive search for exciting new videos to rent and buy this week has not borne any fruit. Unless new fast automatic rotten fruit, or just plain utterly tasteless fruit, is what you’re after. Believe this or even better, pretend you never read this, because the best film out on release to purchase or rent is 2 Fast 2 Furious, which is the abominably titled sequal to The Fast And The Furious, only without Vin Diesel. God knows what it’s about, since nobody went and saw it due to it sounding like a load of old shite. Woo, fast cars racing along some length of Highway Strip. Yum yum yum. Beats having a real life anyday, eh guys? No. For imbeciles who like reality television which follow hapless celebrities around, you can purchase the first season of At Home With The Eubanks, which has just finished its run on five. So wahey, if you thought it was that good, there you go. You were so mind numbingly foolish not to set the video once when it was on, and now thirteen quid out of pocket. Boo. Elsewhere, there are loads of Crap And Released Far Too Early Christmas Videos called things like Frosty The Snowman’s Christmas Capers, or some such rubbish. Or there’s another Have I Got News For You video, which is already out of date because it’s a freaking topial program. Go away!
NOT (Ex-PC) Rob Pulling Yeah nice one! You obviously don’t need TV Desk to inform you what a repulsive racist cretinous viper you are, but hey, are you glad you’ve got your notoriety now? You smug prick. PS your KKK outfit sucked anyway xxx
SPORT Still more Rugby World Cup with the home nations all in evidence still despite Wales’ best efforts. Elsewhere the drugs in sport debacle reaches a climax as the IOC announce a new version of the Olympics exclusively for those sportsmen who don’t take drugs. It is unclear if Ben Johnson will be asked to host BBC coverage...
FILMS
Another bumper crop of top films this week as Channel 4 (and S4C) indulge us with a series of classic horror films to co-incide with their Greatest Scares feature. The Wicker Man, Ring, The Blair Witch Project and The Hitcher are all superb and worth hiding behind the sofa for. Failing that, you can never go wrong with The Matrix (five, Sunday, 9pm).
RADIO For fans of live music, or just plain fans of the gay ol’ seaside town o’ Brighton, turn on your radios right now!!!!! Nah, don’t get too excited, it’s only Radio 1 and their annual week of One Live (MondayFriday) over a vast number of shows. Mostly crap, and with Zane Lowe prattling like a gimp between gigs. Take your pick from the following bands: Electric Soft Parade, Keane, LFO, Starsailor, Adam F, Tiga, Sean Paul, Dizzee Rascal, The Black Keys, Clearlake, Hundred Reasons, The Cooper Temple Clause, Electrelane, Nina Nastasia, Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci, Funeral For A Friend, Tru Thoughts, Jane’s Addiction, Mogwai, Melt Banana, Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster, Har Mar Superstar, Billy Talent, The Dub Pistols and Steven Malkmus. So, five good bands.
Television
Page 20
October 25 2003
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Saturday 25 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 CBeebies: Fimbles 06.20 Bill and Ben 06.30 CBBC: Enchanted Lands 06.40 Moomin 07.05 UBOS 07.30 Mona the Vampire 07.40 Tom and Jerry Kids 08.05 Looney Tunes 08.35 What's New Scooby-Doo? 09.00 Dick and Dom in da Bungalow 11.00 Top of the Pops Saturday 12.00 BBC News; Weather 12.10 Football Focus 13.00 Grandstand 13.10 British Grand Prix Gymnastics With Jacques Villeneuve attempting a triple back flip pike somersault, and Olivier Panis on the rings. 14.45 Boxing 16.30 Wales on Saturday 17.20 BBC News 17.40 Open All Hours 18.10 Born to Win 19.10 Celebrity Dog School 19.40 National Lottery Wright around the World Another season, another ludicrously bad sounding attempt to jazz up the National Lottery. With Ian “I’m only used as a TV presenter so people can pun my surname to within an inch of its life” Wright. 20.15 Casualty 21.05 Silent Witness 22.05 BBC News; Weather 22.25 Parkinson With Meg Ryan, Shane “EastEnders Doorstep Challenge” Richie, those boring groping bints from What Not To Wear and Jamie “Who’s this tedious jazz guy?” Cullum. 23.25 FILM: The Omen **** Classic horror that everyone knows about but has never actually seen. Admit it. 01.15 (BST) Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 01.05 (GMT) They Think It's All Over 01.35 (GMT) A Question of Sport 02.05 (GMT) Top of the Pops 02.35 (GMT) Joins BBC News 24
06.00 Weekend 24 09.15 The Sharp End with Clive Anderson 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Ever Wondered about Food? 12.00 See Hear 12.45 What the Victorians Did for Us 13.15 Film 2003 with Jonathan Ross 13.45 Cagney and Lacey 14.35 Cagney and Lacey 15.20 The Rockford Files 16.10 The Great War 16.50 What the Papers Say 17.00 Miss Marple: Sleeping Murder 18.45 FILM: The Day of the Jackal *** 21.05 The Big Read With William Hague, who may not look like it, but can actually read. 22.35 Have I Got News for You 23.05 Never Mind the Buzzcocks Guaranteed to be boring because one of the contestants is the singer from Elbow. 23.35 Celebdaq 00.05 FILM: Blame It on the Bellboy ** 01.20 (BST) FILM: Little Shop of Horrors **** 01.30 (GMT) Joins BBC News 24 02.00 BBC Learning Zone: Curriculum Development: AS Guru: General Studies 2 Uh-oh, clocks go back today, so dont forget! All you need to know is that on BBC1 you think you’ve wasted an hour of your life watching the repeat of Jonathan “Wectum” Ross, then you have to then turn the clocks back and waste the same hour watching They Think It’s All Over. Alternatively, do what I did last year and forget the clocks go back until halfway through the week and then not bother at all. Think about how much energy you’ll save moving the hands back in March. I did it, and now I look like Dwain Chambers.
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Rugby World Cup 2003: Italy v Wales 11.20 Rugby World Cup 2003: France v Scotland 13.40 ITV News; Weather 13.45 HTV News and Weather 13.50 On the Ball 14.20 SMTV Gold 15.20 CD:UK 16.05 Rugby World Cup 2003 17.05 HTV News and Weather 17.20 ITV News; Sports Results 17.30 Best Ever You've Been Framed Surely everyone knows there’s only been one clip ever on You’ve Been Framed which has been even remotely funny: the cat falling off the television. Although one suspects this won’t be fifty minutes of this clip being repeated; instead, expect babies dribbling chocolate over themselves. Although apparently the best baby dribbling clips ever, so don’t miss it. 18.20 Pop Idol 19.50 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 20.50 ITV Weekend News 21.05 Pop Idol Results 21.30 Single Crap sounding drama with Michelle Collins. 22.30 The Premiership 00.00 The Frank Skinner Show 00.50 The District 01.45 (BST) Guitar Heroes Forever This week’s edition of the sarcastic music video clips show. This week bound to include the talented but completely boring Hendrix, the thoroughly irritating May, and that prick from Led Zep. 01.40 (GMT) CD:UK Hotshots 02.05 Turn On Terry “Turn on the oven and stick Terry Christian’s head in it” more like. 02.35 Entertainment Now! 03.00 Cybernet 03.25 Ghost Stories 03.45 FILM: Mark of the Phoenix ** 04.50 ITV Nightscreen
The FBI Files: Cat and Mouse five 23.55pm
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 UCI BMX Supercross World Championships 07.00 Scrapheap Challenge 08.00 Trans World Sport 09.00 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd Italy v Wales 11.35 Andromeda 12.30 Smash Hits Chart 12.55 T4: Holes Special Excuse my igorance, but what the flip is Holes? I presume the program isn’t literally about holes. Although it IS T4, and what else are teenagers interested in? 13.30 Channel 4 attheraces 15.50 Mother Teresa: The Saint Making Business Note use of the word “business”. 16.50 The First World War 17.50 World Rally: Spain 18.15 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd Highlights from today's games, including Italy v Wales, Australia v Namibia and France v Scotland. 19.45 Newyddion a Chwaraeon 20.00 Hwyl y Noson Lawen 20.30 Y Bws Gwlad Tara 21.00 Llafur Gwlad: Argraffu 22.00 Pen Tennyn 22.30 The 100 Greatest Scary Moments See pick of the week. 24.35 Kill Bill Special 01.05 Channel 4 attheraces 01.35 (BST) The Great Adventure Race Sounds intriguing, but what could it be? Around the world in 80 days? Or just glorified orienteering for snotty nosed f--ks looking to discover themselves? 01.00 (GMT) The Daily Mail Ski and Snowboard Show 2000 “The S4C Barrel Scraping Schedule Filler Show 2003” more like. 01.25 Brazilian Football Championship 2003
06.00 Russell Grant's Postcards 06.10 WideWorld 06.35 WideWorld 07.00 Sunrise 07.55 Shake! 08.00 Gadget and the Gadgetinis 08.25 Beast Wars 08.55 Beyblade 09.25 Beyblade 09.55 Dan Dare 10.25 Xcalibur 11.00 Max Steel 11.30 The Adventures of Sinbad 12.25 Tintin 12.55 Popular 13.50 Our Hero 14.20 USA High 14.45 Flaunt Chart Show 15.15 Home and Away Omnibus 17.20 FILM: Once upon a Texas Train ** 19.00 five news and sport 19.25 Charmed 20.20 Alias 21.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22.00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 22.55 Law and Order . 23.55 The FBI Files: Cat and Mouse Thankfully the last of tonight’s el cheapo American imports, a regular fixture now on five now the regular fountain of documentaries about Hitler seems to have dried up. This is about the FBI investigations into Tom and Jerry. No seriously... Blaaaaaa there’s so little to say about five on a Saturday, so let’s talk about last week’s TV. Bascially it was all crap apart from our TV picks and the utter compelling - in a sick, twisted car-crash way Secret Policeman documentary. See the most blatant “not” so far on the first page... 24.50 (BST) Major League Baseball: World Series Game Six 04.20 (GMT) That 70s Show 04.45 That 70s Show
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
C4
19.00 Superstars 20.00 Fightbox 21.00 FILM: Murder at 1600 22.40 Little Britain 23.10 Liquid Assets: Jacko's Millions Max Flint delves into the finances of one of pop music's most reclusive and enigmatic characters - Michael Jackson. Contributors include Jackson's first business manager, record producers and childhood friends. That’s “childhood friends” folks, so don’t pretend to misread it as some sort of libellous comment. Wacko Jacko’s first business manager was probably fired for suggesting the facepainter didn’t blow wadges on his face and then spread his metaphorical seed over the boutiques of Las Vegas. “No no no I’d much rather have this highly dubious lifestyle bro. Yer fired!” - MJ. 00.10 Trevor Nelson's Lowdown “My Lowdown - don’t watch this bag of shag”00.40 Monkey Dust 01.10 Diners 01.40 (BST) Fightbox 01.40 (GMT) Little Britain 02.10 Liquid Assets: Jacko's Million
06.45 Rugby World Cup 2003 Australia v Namibia. 09.10 Movies Now 09.25 Emmerdale Omnibus 12.20 Coronation Street Omnibus 14.40 Survival Special 15.45 Survival Special 16.50 Pop Idol Extra 18.20 Rugby World Cup 2003 Angus Scott presents highlights of today's matches including Australia v Namibia, Italy v Wales, and France v Scotland. 19.20 Great Escapes 19.50 Pop Idol Extra 21.05 Planet's Funniest Animals . 21.30 Pop Idol Extra - The Results 22.00 Million Dollar Babes Series following the fortunes of seven dynamic young women determined to make a million in the world of clubbing. In this episode, we meet Fleur, Steph and Samantha. “Fifty pahnd furra fack mistah?” - Fleur. 22.30 Office Monkey With <insert name of GR office regular> 23.00 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 00.00 Pop Idol 01.30 (BST) Pop Idol Extra 01.35 (GMT) Pop Idol Results 01.55 Pop Idol Extra - The Results
14.00 The Salon: Reappointment 15.05 Hollyoaks Omnibus 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 18.30 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 19.00 Dawson's Creek 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 Top Ten - Holiday Hits Due to my lack of holiday this year, I don’t feel like reminiscing. Actually, I spent four days camping in North Wales and listened to the Liars a lot, but somehow I don’t think they’ll be ousting Aga-Doo from this chart. Prove me wrong. 22.35 Joe Millionaire 23.35 E Graham Norton “F--king Graham Norton” more like. 00.40 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 01.05 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 01.30 (BST) Dawson's Creek DON’T even think about getting excited about the fact the clock goes back and you can watch Jamie Kennedy’s humourless hidden camera rubbish, and get a free episode of Dawsons Creek. They’re on E4 EVERY DAY. 01.25 (GMT) Joe Millionaire 02.10 Star Trek 03.00 Star Trek
06.00 Star Trek: Voyager 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Transformers: Armada 08.00 Transformers: Armada 08.30 Transformers: Armada 09.00 Transformers: Armada If only every day looked so pretty... 09.30 Futurama 10.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Smackdown 12.00 World Wrestling Entertainment: The Bottom Line 13.00 Gamezville 14.00 Star Trek: Voyager 15.00 Star Trek: Voyager 16.00 Star Trek: Voyager 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons Homer is photographed by Bart cavorting with a sexy belly dancer. 20.00 Fear Factor UK 21.00 Fear Factor USA Players face a plate of maggoty cheese and a balancing act on a pole ten storeys high. Pfff, I’ve done worse. 22.30 Fear Factor 00.00 Football Years 01.00 Meet the Marks 01.25 South Park 01.50 (BST) World Stunt Awards 2003 With flaming envelopes, exploding podiums and hopefully without David Blaine. 02.10 (GMT) TV Years - 1983 The year I was born, beautiful. 03.00 Cribs 03.10 Cribs 03.20 Star Trek: Voyager 04.10 Star Trek: Voyager
CH4. As S4C except: 07.00 The Great Adventure Race 07.30 Trans World Sport 08.25 Daily Mail Ski and Snow Show 09.00 The Morning Line 09.55 T4: Smallville: Superman the Early Years 10.55 T4: Friends Joey takes to wearing a shoulder bag. Fascinating! 11.25 T4: The Salon: 12.30 T4: Smash Hits Chart 15.55 Mummies: Face of Gold Time Team meets Scrapheap Challenge meets Indiana Jones in the desert. Can the Egyptians find the gold before the “Nazi” excavators bulldoze in? 16.25 World Rally: Spain . 16.55 Shriek Week FILM: The Witches *** 18.30 Channel 4 News 19.00 The First World War: Breaking the Deadlock . 20.00 Harem Historical 21.05 The 100 Greatest Scary Moments 23.05 Shriek Week FILM: I Know What You Did Last Summer *** Completely awful film saved only by a car boot full of crabs. 01.00 (BST) Channel 4 attheraces: Breeders Cup 01.30 (BST) Football Stories: Old Big 'Ead 01.25 (GMT) Brazilian Football Championship 03.15 For Your Love 03.40 Norm This week’s edition is a Halloween special, in which Shelly finds herself attached to Norm’s fireman suit. And since when have firemen been relevant costumes for Halloween?
World Stunt Awards 2003 Sky 1 01.50pm
Saturday 25 October
Television
October 25 2003
Page 21
NakedSportsEditor@cf.ac.uk
Sunday 26 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Breakfast with Frost 10.00 The Heaven and Earth Show 11.00 Countryfile 12.00 The Politics Show 13.00 FILM: The Three Musketeers **** 14.45 EastEnders 16.35 Points of View 16.55 BBC News 17.25 Songs of Praise 18.05 Auction Man 18.35 Antiques Roadshow 19.20 Holiday 10 Best 20.00 Monarch of the Glen Duncan discovers that Hermione has big plans. Hopefully it involves taking some acting lessons before The Prisoner Of Azkaban is released... 21.00 Silent Witness Sam is sidelined from the investigation following her discovery of Carlton Johns. If she’d discovered Carlton Palmer I’d be more impressed, to be honest. 22.00 BBC News 22.15 Panorama: Crack UK Report into how Vanessa Feltz’s arse is taking over the British Isles. 22.55 On Show 23.25 FILM: Falling Down With Michael Douglas and Robert Duvall. Intense drama about a middle-aged man who reaches breaking point while gridlocked in Los Angeles traffic on a sweltering day. He abandons his car and embarks on a violent spree across town, increasing his arsenal of weapons after each confrontation. Either a great black comedy or utter drivel; depends if you are, respectively, TV Andy or TV Holly. *** 01.15 FILM: Rules of Obsession With Scott Bakula of Quantum Leap, Enterprise and numerous shite films fame. ** 02.50 Joins BBC News 24 The new Plaid album is the bomb kids...
06.00 CBeebies: Fimbles 06.20 Bill and Ben 06.30 CBBC: Arthur 06.55 TazMania 07.15 Looney Tunes 07.30 Smile 10.30 To the Manor Born 11.00 Sunday Home and Garden 12.40 Time Flyers 13.10 War Walks 13.40 Sunday Grandstand 13.45 Racing from Aintree 13.55 Rugby Union: World Cup News 14.00 Racing from Aintree 15.00 British Grand Prix Gymnastics 17.05 Olympic Dreams Reviewing the World Trampolining Championships in Hanover. Awesome scenes as some fat chuffer jumps too hard and breaks the canvas. 17.15 Scrum V 18.00 Wild West Country Otters are making a comeback in Devon and Cornwall, but as Gordon Buchanan discovers they can still be incredibly elusive. Perhaps he should stick to shagging something that can’t run as fast, like sheep or kids in wheelchairs. 18.10 Running with Reindeer 18.40 Natural World 19.30 The Good Life Margo is horrified when she hears of Tom and Barbara's decision to keep pigs. 20.00 Top Gear 21.00 Sex Empires 22.00 Coupling Steve feels he is having problems keeping the attentions of Susan. 22.30 Gimme Gimme Gimme 23.00 Abortion Ship 23.45 FILM: Duets With Gwyneth Paltrow. ** 01.30 Red Dwarf Polymorph. One of the finest Dwarf episodes, but still not as good as Quarantine: “Mr Flibble says you’ve all been very naughty boys...” Never has a man in a gingham dress been more scary. 02.00 BBC Learning Zone
06.00 Meg and Mog 06.10 Boohbah 06.20 Thomas the Tank Engine 06.30 Engie Benjy 06.40 Meg and Mog 06.50 Thomas the Tank Engine 07.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 11.40 My Favourite Hymns 12.30 Waterfront 13.00 Jonathan Dimbleby 13.55 HTV News and Weather 14.00 Soccer Sunday 14.35 Rugby World Cup 2003 15.35 Walt Disney Cartoon 15.45 FILM: Space Jam ** 17.15 Walt Disney Cartoon 17.20 HTV News 17.35 Your Century 18.05 I'm the Answer 18.35 ITV News 18.50 Emmerdale Terry is scared by his inability to communicate. If he’d have learned semaphore at Scouts then he wouldn’t be in this predicament. 19.20 Creature Comforts Tackling such questions as what oysters do to a bloodhound's brain. Seriously. 19.30 Coronation Street Lucy tries to drive a wedge between Peter and Shelley but her plan backfires and she ends up driving a lorry through them instead. Contains roadkill scenes. 20.00 Heartbeat 21.00 A Touch of Frost Legend though he is, shouldn’t David Jason be at home on a pension by now? And what’s his son going to say when his mates at school ask him if he’s being collected by his granddad? 23.05 ITV Weekend News 23.20 Sweet Medicine Geoff is ill with food poisoning. I diagnose it was from too many dirty kebabs... 00.20 It's My Life 01.05 Trisha 01.55 FILM: Appointment with Venus ** 03.25 World Sport 03.50 Get Stuffed! 04.00 ITV Nightscreen “Yeh get meh?!!”
100 Greatest Scary Moments BBC2 10.30pm
S4C
five
06.35 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 07.25 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd: Argentina v Ireland 09.30 Finding Nemo Special 11.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.00 Welsh in a Week 12.30 Yr Wythnos 13.00 G Girls 13.30 Fashion House 14.00 Stargate SG-1 14.55 Enterprise 16.00 Maniffesto 16.30 Xtra Omnibws 17.30 Newyddion 17.35 Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 19.30 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd 20.30 Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 21.00 Y Swagman O Geredigion 22.15 Newyddion 22.30 The 100 Greatest Scary Moments Here’s a few more of our favourites: Riath: The guy getting his hand eaten in Gremlins or anything to do with the BFG. Gates: The video in The Ring. Books: Sharon from EastEnders. Film: When Judy’s tit popped out at those TV awards. (Truly disturbing.) Personally I’ll go for the last episode of Twin Peaks in its entirety, popular TV’s darkest and finest moment, and the Daleks. They scared me shitless as a child. How was I to know it was some dwarf in a dustbin? 00.35 Iraq: Journey into Madness 01.35 World Rally: Spain 02.05 FILM: The Long Good Friday With Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren. Classic gangster drama that makes Snatch look like a fluffy little kitten. **** 04.00 FILM: Cruel Intentions 2 **
06.00 Russell Grant's Postcards 06.05 WideWorld 06.30 Dappledown Farm 06.55 Tickle, Patch and Friends 07.20 Milkshake! 07.25 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 09.00 Babar 09.25 George Shrinks 09.55 Snobs 10.30 Michaela's Wild Challenge 11.00 Morris 2274 11.30 Braceface 12.00 Stepping Up 12.35 Flaunt Chart Show 13.05 five news update 13.15 FILM: Columbo: Blueprint for Murder *** 14.40 FILM: To Catch a Thief **** 16.45 At Home with the Eubanks 17.15 Britain's Worst Driver 17.45 five news and sport 18.00 FILM: The Next Karate Kid ** 20.00 The Greatest Magic Tricks in the Universe... Ever 21.00 FILM: The Matrix Is there anyone in the universe who hasn’t seen this yet? (Yeah, me, and I have no wish to see such overrated, pretentious manqué shite either - Dep Ed.) Still it’s an awesome film - no matter what you think of the sequels and gave modern action films a much needed kick up the jacksie. **** 23.40 Decoded: The Making of Matrix Revolutions Behind the scenes of the long-awaited third and final instalment of the Matrix trilogy. 00.10 Animatrix: Second Renaissance 00.20 Animatrix: Second Renaissance 00.40 Major League Baseball 04.30 Major League Soccer
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
C4
19.00 Pompeii: The Last Day Reconstruction of the final events leading to one of the worst natural disasters to strike the ancient world, drawing on contemporary accounts and recent archaeological discoveries. 20.00 Liquid Assets: Kylie's Millions 21.00 What Not to Wear 21.30 Little Britain 22.00 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 22.30 Burn It 23.00 Absolutely Fabulous Eddie is having nightmares about becoming a grandmother, as Saffy tells the father of her child the big news. 23.30 Casino This edition looks at gambling and how the casino entices players on to its premises and keeps them there. I reckon it’s chains and crack cocaine... 24.30 Love for Sale 01.00 Celebdaq 01.30 Art and the City 02.00 Vinnie 02.30 Liquid Assets: Kylie's Millions 03.30 Love for Sale
09.25 The Premiership 10.30 Pop Idol 12.00 Pop Idol Extra 13.15 Pop Idol Results 13.40 Emmerdale Omnibus 16.30 Coronation Street Omnibus 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 Argentina v Ireland and England v Samoa. 20.00 Pop Idol 21.30 Pop Idol Extra 22.45 Pop Idol Results 23.10 Pop Idol Extra - The Results 23.40 Coronation Street 00.10 Cold Feet 01.10 The Frank Skinner Show 02.00 Beggars and Choosers 03.00 Teleshopping 04.00 Ant and Dec's Banged Up with Beadle 04.25 Ant and Dec's Banged Up with Beadle 04.50 Movies Now 05.00 Trisha Double Bill Surprise surprise, there’s nothing worth talking about on ITV2 so I’ll just have to repeat the story of a certain sports editor’s birthday antics - naked Arab runs amok in...
10.00 The Salon Live 19.00 The Salon: Reappointment 20.00 The West Wing Bartlet agonises over genocide in an African nation. At least he bothers to think about it first... 21.00 Dawson's Creek 22.00 Six Feet Under 23.00 Joe Millionaire 00.00 Little Friends 00.25 Dawson's Creek 01.20 Six Feet Under 02.15 Joe Millionaire 03.00 Little Friends ...Cardiff nightclub. Apparently he was playing “touch willy” all night and then proceeded to go the whole hog when in Creation. The Samaritans are on standby for those unfortunate enough to witness this display of filth. This morning he has no recollection of what happened but the cactus, false teeth and two litre bottle of baby oil by his bed suggest that it was one wild night. A minute’s silence and black armbands in respect of the death of indie legend (he was so much more than an ‘indie legend’! - Dep Ed) Elliott Smith; RIP. I suggest buying his X/O album - now.
06.00 Hour of Power 07.00 Transformers: Armada 09.30 Futurama 10.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Afterburn 11.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Heat 12.00 King of the Hill 12.30 Malcolm in the Middle 13.00 Gamezville 14.00 Little Monsters 15.00 Star Trek: Voyager 16.00 Star Trek: Voyager 17.00 Futurama 17.30 Futurama 18.00 The Simpsons 18.30 The Simpsons 19.00 Malcolm in the Middle 19.30 Malcolm in the Middle 20.00 Dream Team 21.00 Pammie... Close Up 22.00 Naked Angels in Beach Paradise 23.00 The Big Sex Fantasy 00.00 The Villa 01.00 Naked in Blackpool Is it just me or is Sky One descending into a world of pain and soft porn? Murdoch, what are you doing? 01.50 Pop Idols Behaving Badly 02.40 Scrubs 03.05 King of the Hill 03.30 Family Guy 03.55 Family Guy 04.20 Star Trek: Voyager 05.10 Star Trek: Voyager
As S4C except: 06.05 Animated Tales of the World 06.15 The Hoobs Where can a Hoob hide from Hubba Hubba? What on earth is this programme on about?! 06.40 The Hoobs 07.05 Insektors 07.20 Bug Alert! 07.45 The Kids from Room 402 08.10 Totally Spies! 08.35 Spider-Man 09.00 T4: Smash Hits Chart. 09.25 T4: Popworld 10.20 T4: Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.25 T4: G Girls 13.00 T4: Fashion House 14.05 T4: Friends 14.40 T4: Will and Grace 15.10 World Rally: Spain 15.40 T4: Andromeda 16.35 T4: Stargate SG-1 17.30 Scrapheap Challenge 18.35 Enterprise 19.30 Channel 4 News 20.00 Thug Life 21.00 The 100 Greatest Scary Moments 23.05 FILM: The Blair Witch Project Awesome and underrated. **** 00.35 FILM: Repossessed ** 02.00 V Graham Norton 03.00 Daily Mail Ski and Snow Show 03.25 KOTV 03.55 The Porsche Carrera Cup 04.20 British Rally Zone
Naked In Cardiff Sky 1 1am
Sunday 26 October
News
Page 2
October 25 2003
grnews@cardiff.ac.uk
At
a glance
News Editorial Cobley Politics Letters Elections Media Taf Od Listings TV Listings Five Minute Fun Competitions Sport
1 5 6 7 8 9 14 15 16 19 27 28 29
EDITOR Tristan Thomas DEPUTY EDITOR Alex Macpherson
ASSISTANT TO EDITOR Elaine Morgan NEWS Peter Bramwell, John Collingridge, Anna Hodgekiss POLITICS Andrew Caldicott EDITORIAL AND OPINION Rhys James SPORT Dave Williams, Riath Al-Samarrai GET THERE Hannah Muddiman TELEVISION Holly Howitt-Dring, Andy Parsons, John Widdop LETTERS & CROSSWORD James Anthony BIG WIN CIRCUS Leigh Debbage TAF-OD Rhys Iorwerth, Dewi Llyr, Angharrad George MEDIA Gary Andrews FIVE MINUTE FUN Janine Jones PROOF READERS Alys Southwood, Sayan Chakraborty
CONTRIBUTORS Clare Hepple, Susan Doragh, Rosey Leech, Molly Forbes, Will Talmage, Alison White, David Morris, Rhiannon Spellman, Suzi Slater, Andrew Cullen, Louise Ledger, James Allen, Victoria Corbett, Chloe Rollinson, Sally Phillips, Megan Conner, Polly March, Naomi Blight, Bec Stores, Tom Brown, Beca Murphy, John Stanton, Ben Wright, Matthew Ramsden, Matthew Viney, James Cooke, Mark Cobley, Si Green, John Tuscany, Richard Collyer,
ADDRESS University Union Park Place Cardiff CF10 3QN EDITORIAL 02920 781434 02920 781436 ADVERTISING 0845 1300667 EMAIL gairrhydd@cardiff.ac.uk VISITORS Find us on the 4th floor of the Students Union
1/3 Welsh children living below poverty line
WAR ON Halls POVERTY Vandals Cardiff Labour students take VANDALS: At expense of others
Campaign poster
By Louise Ledger Reporter FORMER RESIDENTS of University Hall residences have been plaguing the site with acts of vandalism. Since freshers week began, there have been four separate incidents where damage has been caused to university property. It is believed that those involved are students in their second year at Cardiff University who deceived new arrivals into believing they were also first years. This enabled them to gain access to the flats. Extensive damage was caused to a flat entrance door meaning that it could no longer be locked and a kitchen was also vandalised. In the most serious incident to date, half a dozen fire extinguishers were discharged along corridors. Two of the culprits were issued with police warnings. The police were also contacted when another group broke glasses in the University Hall bar and refused to leave when asked. Tony Lewis, security operations manager said, "There seems to be a trend for second years to go back to where they lived the year before and have so-called fun at the expense of others. "It is not acceptable and any student identified will be subject to university procedures and possible police action."
action to defeat child poverty
By James Allen Reporter STUDENTS FROM Cardiff University Labour Club joined Labour Students from across Wales at the launch of the Defeat Child Poverty campaign at the Welsh Assembly this Wednesday. The campaign aims to put pressure on the Government to ensure that the target of alleviating child poverty by 2020 is met. Child poverty is an issue on our doorstep, with around one third of Welsh children living below the poverty line. Huw Lewis, Assembly Member and Deputy Minister for Social Justice and Regeneration, described "vicious inequalites" within society, and being shocked with the "mind numbing" statistic that when he came to power, the infant mortality rate in his constituency was very
“The
infant mortality rate in Merthyr was similar to Bombay” HUW LEWIS AM
Recycling for Cathays By Anna Hodgekiss News Editor EVERY STREET in the student village will soon be covered by a doorstep recycling service. The green bag scheme – which currently covers around 60 per cent of households in Cathays – will be extended, because the majority of students live in the remaining 40 per cent of the ward. Cathays Welsh Liberal Democrat Councillor John Aylwin was delighted with the move, saying, " We have been campaigning for the recycling scheme to be extended, so are really pleased we’re beginning to see some progress from the
Council." But it seems the scheme is still far from perfect. Eco-friendly students currently paying for green bags at local outlets must continue to do so, while their new counterparts will get them free of charge. Councillor Aylwin said, "The Council have created a system which is essentially unfair. “Recycling should be free for all households in Cardiff – including halls of residence." At the time of going to press, gair rhydd had yet to receive comment from Cardiff County Council, who will have the right to reply in next weeks’ paper.
DEFIANT: Cardiff students at the Assembly similar that in Bombay. He believes that a child's life expectancy is already determined by their third birthday and fears another generation may be "let down". While the task facing the Government may be huge, there are reasons to be optimistic and the Assembly is clearly committed to ending Child Poverty. Some 30,000 Welsh children have been lifted out of poverty since the Assembly came to power and the Deputy Minister identified new initiatives which increase investment in the poorest communities, such as the Communities First project. Wales is also the first area of Britain to have a Children's
Commissioner, and has a Social Justice Committee working to ensure the effective targeting of resources. Labour student and Second year Astrophysicist Tom Neilson commented, "with the obvious dedication of AMs, there is real hope." Senior AMs in attendance were extremely supportive of the campaign, and the Statement of Opinion from Labour Students was warmly received. At the Cardiff Freshers' Fair in September alone, some 300 people signed a petition supporting the campaign. For more information email cardiff_uni_labour@yahoo.co.uk.
XPRESS DELIGHT As station gets nominated for four Radio 1 awards By Victoria Corbett Reporter XPRESS RADIO is celebrating after receiving four nominations at the Radio 1 Student Radio Awards. The Union station is up for the much coveted Student Radio Station of the Year 2003, Best Female Presenter, Best Technical Innovation and Best Speech Based Non-Fiction Programme. A record 300 entries from stu-
dent radio stations across the country were put forward for nomination for year’s awards. The best were then selected by 100 industry professionals. Station manager Karen Sharp was delighted at the news, "It’s great for everyone’s hard work to be recognised and even better when it’s industry professionals who give us this kind of honour. "It’s an achievement just to be nominated for a Radio 1 Student Award."
Full story in Media: page 14
News
October 25 2003
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grnews@cardiff.ac.uk
STUDENT SAVIOURS By Molly Forbes & Will Talmage Reporters COURAGEOUS ROATH students came to the rescue after a woman was viciously attacked one night last week. The woman, in her mid-thirties, was walking along Moy Road on the evening of Thursday October 16 when the mugging occurred. Students heard a disturbance outside their house at around 10:30pm. On running outside, they found the woman being robbed and beaten. The assailant, a man in his early twenties fled the scene after being confronted. The victim was left with a b a d l y bruised temple, bleeding lip and a swollen eye but managed to hang on to all her belongings. The s eve n - ye a r
TO THE RESCUE: Ben Withey and Lloyd Davies at the scene in Moy Road
resident of Roath said she had never seen any violence like this before in the area. Ben Withey, 18 and Lloyd Davies, also 18, first year UWIC students, chased the attacker down Moy Road but lost him after he escaped in a car parked at the Tesco Metro loading bay. What seems to be a premeditated attack has left many residents feeling unsafe and vulnerable. Ben Hapgood, another of the students said, "I heard this was quite a safe area, but this has changed my mind." A female housemate said the attack has changed her perception of the area, "I wouldn’t even walk home alone from Tesco Metro now, let alone after clubbing." PC Richard Bristow of South Wales Police offered this advice, "It all comes down to personal safety. We advise students to vary their route on walking home and keep in areas lit by streetlights. “It’s very important to walk with other people and if you feel threatened then make your way to a public areas such as a bar or a shop." The attack comes as a stark reminder of the dangers present in Cardiff and the importance of not walking alone.
Students rescue local woman from violent mugger
Anti-war ‘weapons inspectors’ make a stand against Rolls Royce CAREERS FAIR PROTEST By John Collingridge News Editor
AISEC’S CAREERS fair was rudely interrupted on Wednesday afternoon when protesters heckled the Rolls Royce recruitment stand. Six students all wearing anti-biological suits, designed to look like weapons inspectors, targeted the stand of one of the biggest British suppliers of military equipment. One of the protesters Joao Martins explained the reason for their demonstration: “We want to give students the chance to make a
morally informed decision. A company that fuels armed conflict should not be at Cardiff’s careers fair.” A PR spokesperson for Rolls Royce said, "Rolls-Royce supplies and exports engines only to those countries deemed acceptable for defence products by the UK Government. Our engines are used in a wide variety of ways, ranging from helicopters to planes that carry relief to famine ridden areas. “We are proud of the fact that our work creates jobs for thousands of people both in the UK and abroad.”
Demonstrators film event
Nightrider New bus service to studentville By Alison White Reporter A NEW NIGHTBUS initiative now offers weekend revellers a regular, cheap and safe journey home to many student areas around the city. The service caters for clubbers travelling home after Friday and Saturday nights out, departing at twenty past twelve hourly until three. The service departs from outside Yates on Westgate Street and runs five daytime services to Llanishen, Ely, St. Mellons, Llanrumney and Pontprennau. Student areas such as Albany road, City road and Cathays library are covered by the bus service. Safety is a priority, with buses fitted with CCTV and every passenger is filmed getting on the bus. Security staff with communications with the police are present on each bus. The journey home is a pocket friendly £2, and a Night Rider ticket
is available allowing a return journey on inbound bus services after 7pm. Town centre manager Paul Williams reported the service’s success over the short time it has been in operation. "We have had an instant response and plan to extend the scheme very soon," he said. The scheme will provide a useful solution to those who have experienced problems getting taxis at the weekend. Student Nat Price reported problems getting home after weekend nights out. "It’s a nightmare because there are loads of taxis but when they find out you are only travelling locally they don’t want to know. It seems they are only interested in the larger fares gained by longer journeys". PC Bob Keohane spoke about the benefits of the night bus. "The more people use buses the more it will relieve the tension caused from taxi queues, which often lead to problems of pushing in and assaults".
News
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October 25 2003
grnews@cf.ac.uk
BLAINE CRAWLS OUT Oddball survives his 44-day famine By David Morris Reporter UNLESS YOU’VE had your head in sand you can’t have failed to have noticed that David Blaine emerged from his plexiglass box last Sunday. The stunt involved staying in the box for 44 days without food, surviving on water and with only pen and paper to keep him company. During his time Blaine lost 60 lbs, produced 132 litres of urine and presumably used all three nappies provided. He was widely ridiculed while inside the box and was often taunted by flying kebabs, eggs and golf balls. His stunt was met with much scepticism and many found it insulting as so many people are starving all over the world. There have also been many concerns over Blaine’s health as a result of the stunt. Although his doctors claim it is not yet possible to tell the
Volunteering hailed success A RECORD number of Cardiff University students have signed up to become volunteers. Almost 10 per cent have committed to one of the 24 projects on offer within the University since term began. Student Volunteer Centre members are overjoyed at the programme’s success, and believe the statistics reflect increasing awareness of the benefits of volunteering. Although some projects are full, SVC is still recruiting. To find out more visit the SVC office on the 3rd floor of the Students’ Union or www.SVCardiff.org.
toll the stunt has taken, it is known that Blaine has suffered no major organ damage. But his nutritionist admitted that there could be long term effects. He could develop diabetes, blindness and even become impotent. It was reported that while he was in the box he suf-
David Blaine’s nutritionist fered from muscle spasms, hallucinations, heart palpitations and dizziness. Since his release, very little has been heard from Blaine, although it is known he had banned spoon bender
BLAINE: could this spell the end of his sex life?
Girls outperform the guys again By Suzi Slater Reporter WOMEN ARE getting better degrees and working harder at university, according to a study carried out by Brunel University. The study tracked 200 students over four years, and revealed that females consistently outperformed their counterpart males - even though they had started their course with almost identical A-Level results. Analysis of their results exposed
“Please give generously, I am attempting 44 days on continous alcohol alone” Sign displayed by a beggar near David Blaine’s glass box.
Sheryl Crow: Why the ‘camp’ Robbie can’t crack the US chart
The magician said he would not be embarking on any similar stunts in the future- one can only hope he stays true to his word.
“He could become impotent, diabetic or blind”
Quotes of the Week
“Most of our male artists are so aggro they don’t even look like rock stars. They look like they’re all roadies”
Uri Geller from his hospital suite. And despite torment while inside the box - Blaine emerged to a rapturous applause - it seems the villain has become the hero.
that 65 per cent of female graduates achieved a 2:1 or a first, compared to only 35per cent of male graduates. Fiona Smith, the senior lecturer at Brunel that led the study, said, "Females believe they need to work harder in order to be able to compete in a male-dominated environment they will encounter at work. Good grades are viewed as an insurance policy for success." According to the study, male students underachieve due to a notion of working hard not being ‘macho’,
whereas females tend to view good grades as the most important aspect of their university life. The results of this study challenge the established opinion that the academic gender gap is a school phenomenon. Fiona Smith added,"It makes the inequality for working women in terms of pay and promotion all the more poignant. "Women work harder at school, harder at university and do better in both, yet still receive less pay."
Student mental health fears By Rhiannon Spellman Reporter ONE IN four students will experience a mental health problem during their time at university, a report the by NUS has revealed. Despite this, they are the most likely group to access help when problems arise. And a similar study - by the Royal College of Psychiatrists - has highlighted that students are more likely to suffer mental illness than any other young people. In light of these findings, Dr Mike Hobbs, of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, has serious concerns about the growth of mental health problems in students and the quality of services available to what he calls a “vulnerable population”. And it seems rightly so. According to Dr Mark Phippen, head of counselling at Cambridge University, there is usually only one counsellor per four to five thousand students. Factors contributing to student stress include the demands of living away from home, workload and money worries. Drug and alcohol misuse is also a "serious concern", according to the psychologists. Lack of support from universities, coupled with the lack of funding for NHS mental health resources, means students often have nowhere to turn. The report calls for universities to have more structured mental health policies, and better resourcing of on-campus counselling services. It also stresses the need for the NHS to set up mental health services specifically for students, in convenient locations. Students’ particular living arrangements need to be catered for in terms of administration, as most students spend part of the year at home.
RUSSIANS SEE RED By Andrew Cullen Reporter TRAVELLING WELSH football fans must be on their best behaviour in Russia for the 2004 European Championship play-off. Around 3,000 fans are expected to make the journey for the crucial match on November 15 at the Lokomotiv Stadium, Moscow. While Russia is not renowned for football violence, it does have a hooligan element and after its defeat to Japan in the last World Cup, two men were killed in riots that took place throughout the city. Professor Eric Dunning of Leicester University’s Centre for Football Research, believes the
chance of hooliganism is "not small", and warned that Welsh fans would be considered "English" by Russians. Another problem for Welsh fans will be public drinking. And although Russians have a reputation for excessive drinking, it does not usually occur publicly and will not be tolerated by football fans. In fact, until recently, people could get arrested in Moscow for looking as if they had drunk. As if opposing fans and Russian police aren’t enough for the Welsh to worry about there is also the threat of terrorism. A large event like the football match could act as a magnet for terrorists, who have been an internal problem for Russia since the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Adam Rennie, a Wales fan studying Marine Geography at Cardiff University responded to warnings by saying, "I’ll be travelling to the game and I just hope there is no trouble. "I was going to make a day of it and have a few drinks but after hearing this I’ll certainly think twice about it.”
RIOTS: run for your life
Editorial & Opinion
October 25 2003
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gropinion@cf.ac.uk
gair
CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY
By Tristan Thomas gair rhydd Editor
H
ow boring is student debt? Every week countless stories are published in gair rhydd and the national press about our hardship, but what does it matter when we’re all going to be long gone by the time top-up fees are introduced? Unfortunately, this was the prevalent student attitude before the government implemented tuition fees in 1997. And look where we are now. Our front-page story is frightening – it shows that the majority of sixth-form students do not see a university education as a sensible way to further their careers. They are being priced out of higher
rhydd EST. 1972
Student Rant
GAIRRHYDD.CO.UK
education. Of course, there will always be those who can afford tuition/top-up/madeup fees, but in accepting students on the basis of wealth rather than ability, universities are saying goodbye to the principle of education for all. But forget ‘principles’ and the airy-fairy wisdom that often accompany these arguments. With less young people in higher education Britain will suffer - a skilled work-force is vital for the future of our economy. And let us not forget that many of us will have children who will want to attend university. Are we willing to shoulder debts of up to £50,000 for them? It seems a shame to have to appeal to student selfishness. But when Cardiff Students’ Union is taking so few people to the NUS march, you have to wonder where student collectivism has gone. greditor@cardiff.ac.uk
Megan Conner
Tired of all this celebrity standard bashing
I
The reality of television
Pop’s seedier side By Chloe Rollinson
T
HE JUDGEMENT by Kingston Crown Court on Monday that left Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy £3,500 worse off and owing 120 hours of community service goes beyond the individual case to challenge the sugarcoated image that pop likes to project and prompts the question: when did pop go rock? Twenty-year-old Tweedy, who appeared as part of the Girls Aloud line-up at the recent Freshers’ Ball at Cardiff, was this week convicted of assaulting toilet attendant Sophie Amogbokpa in Surrey nightclub Drink. This image of the Popstars: The Rivals winner is vastly different from the girly, pink clad pop princess that the band’s
“No, really Mum, I was staying at a
management likes to promote. Rather, this Cheryl is one to whom late night drinking sessions and pub brawls have become the norm since her move from a Newcastle estate to the luxury of a penthouse London apartment. Perhaps the lads’ magazine favourite really should take some of that “good advice” that the band sang of in their follow-up single to chart topper Sound Of The Underground. While we are used to hearing of the latest wild exploits of Oasis band members, the head-butting of a photographer by wayward Jamiroquai front man Jay Kay, or the hissy fits of musical diva J-Lo, the pop scene has generally been untouched by this bad behaviour. But are the days of squeaky-clean Steps and virtuous S Club over? In stark contrast to his “ g r a n d m a ’s favourite” image, another musical reality TV star, young Gareth Gates, this summer admitted to alliances with the voluptuous, and everexpanding, Jordan. Mr Gates, only 17 years old at friend’s”: aw, bless the time of the
By Sally Phillips
F Tweedy: bad coat, bad attitude affair, bless ‘im, desperately attempted to maintain his boy-nextdoor persona by repeatedly denying the accusations of the glamour model. But, faced with the release of the page three favourite’s autobiography and her so-called proof, Gates was forced to admit to sleeping with the then five months pregnant Jordan. Cleverly used as a steppingstone to appealing to an older market, Gareth has successfully overcome his wild and misguided affair. Whether Miss Tweedy can make as much out of her lapse of judgement still remains to be seen.
AME ACADEMY, Pop Idol, The Salon, Born To Win, Fashion House... the list goes on but the truth is plain and simple: we are a nation engrossed in the phenomenon that is reality television. So, I ask, why do we persistently try to deny our hidden love for such shows? With 11 million calls in her favour, quirky Alex sailed through the final of the second series of Fame Academy - evidence enough that we seem to have a thirst for seeing complete strangers go into battle to achieve their dreams. Or is it secretly the sadistic pleasure in seeing others in pain, being defeated, their hopes shattered? Emerging from every corner, it is hard to hide from the media frenzy that surrounds the reality shows of modern television today, and audience participation is vital in its success. But at what point will we start living our own lives instead of being drawn into a commercialised world that snatches our emotions with cheap entertainment and wasted thrills?
AM SO sick of poncey prudish people whinging about famous females flashing their flesh. Like, get over it. If Jordan wants to flash her boobs, then let her do so in peace. She may not be as dignified as Delta or Dido, but for one, she is not a singer but a former page three girl, and two, what kind of profile do they have anyway? Serious about singing, but far from interesting - and frankly not worth reading much about, mate. Success and fame is not just about the music anymore: a profession is column inches, six inch heels and a good bust. I am not necessarily saying that every girl should pose and expose as these stars do. Some of us just don't have the goods, and even if we did, “doing a Holly Valance” probably would not be deemed quite as acceptable by the bouncers at Come Play on any given Saturday. It is like that poor love from Somerset, arrested for stripping off in Faliraki earlier this year - it just does not quite work as well when we mere mortals do it. Give these showbiz girls a break. Fame is a whole different kettle of fish to our everyday lives - celebrities survive on being beautiful and sexy, so just let them do their thing. Just don't let your little sister/girlfriend/mum/gran copy them. Girls, you have to admit it is kind of empowering. And lads? I cannot remember ever hearing any of you complaining anyway!
Need to get something off your chest? Fancy a rant? Email 300 words to gropinion@cf.ac.uk
Opinion
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October 25 2003
grcobley@cf.ac.uk
MARK
A VOICE YOU CAN TRUST IN A WORLD OF SPIN
Moaners on the March
S
TOCK UP ON YOUR PETROL all you car-owners, because the Fuel Tax Moaners are about to ride again in Cardiff! Not content with dragging the country to a grinding halt for three days in 2000, the ragbag army of con-artists, farmers and truckers that brought you so much misery have been trying to organise more chaos ever since. The latest scheme is to try to clog the arteries of Cardiff on Saturday 25 - the busiest day for shopping and for sports. The masterminds of this little plot the Welsh Road Haulage Association hope their mayhem will spread to the rest of the country. Boss Alan Greene bragged: “Somebody needs to kick things off. We’re in close contact with hauliers across the UK. “We want to show them the way forward. We are sick of the government ripping us off.” I wouldn’t get too worried, though. This latest desperate ploy comes after the ignominious failure of planned countrywide road protests a couple of weeks ago. Gordon Brown - that friend of drivers - raised fuel duty by 6p, leading the Fuel Moaners to announce a UKwide “car stop” at 8.30am on the Wednesday. Road safety groups denounced the idea as potentially lethal - but they
needn’t have fretted, because no-one stopped, anywhere. Considering the hysterical screaming of the con-artists in the press every time the trade unions try to organise a strike or two, the Fuel Tax Moaners get away with murder. Especially when its public support is so non-existent. They haven’t got a leg to stand on in any case. Road freight is one of the
He y, it can talk! Collected thoughts from trained chimp and leader of the free world George W Bush Howdy, y’all! I bin doin’ some readin’ this week. Hey, don’ look so surprised! I’m not so dumb as I look, y’know! No, really! Anyways, I bin readin’“A World Transformed”, which was written in 1998 by my good ol’ daddy about the first war on Iraq in 1992. He was Pressydent too, y’know. Anyway, what he had ta say surprised me a little bit. See fer yerselfs: “Trying to eliminate Saddam, extending the ground war into an occupation of Iraq... would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. Apprehending him was probably impossible... The coalition would instantly have collapsed, the Arabs deserting it in anger. There was no viable ‘exit strategy’ we could see, violating another of our principles.
Furthermore, we had been selfconsciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-Cold War world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the UN mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression. Had we gone the invasion route, the US could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land. It would have been a dramatically different - and perhaps barren - outcome.” Gee, I sure wish I’d read my daddy’s article a year ago! I’m a bit confused why he’s been supporting my war, but I guess it don’t matter. Daddy sure lied enough while he was in power, so I guess why should he stop now? That’s why they say: ‘Like father...’ See you next week!
most heavily-subsidised industries in Britain today. A £60bn road-building and roadmaintenance programme over the next decade is just the start. The roads also cost us £3bn to cover the costs of accidents, £11bn for the impact on health and £20bn in congestion costs for business. Over the past 20 years the cost of motoring in the UK has remained unchanged in real terms (it’s only increased in line with inflation), while bus and train fares have soared. It’s a vicious cycle. The incompetents who’ve run our “public” transport since privatisation have forced millions onto the roads. Then the government hikes up petrol tax to try and encourage us off again or the carbon dioxide we belch out will choke the planet. We’re going round in circles, but one thing’s for certain.
With the amount of cash the government spunks away on this expensive environmental dead-end, the Fuel Tax Moaners would be wise to shut up before someone notices. The fact is, petrol pollutes. Cars pollute. And the less we use them, the better. So there’s nothing wrong with high fuel tax. But instead of frittering away all this taxpayer’s cash on the roads, why won’t this Labour government take back our railways and spend the money building a public transport system that people actually want to use? BRITNEY: Should
be shot?
Jarvissimo! THEY’VE DONE IT AGAIN, everybody! For those of you interested in the continuing merry antics of everyone’s favourite railwaymen and student halls cock-up artists, Jarvis PLC, this week has been a beaut. They’ve just put the finishing touches to the UK’s biggest student accommodation contract: building and running 3,405 halls places at Lancaster Uni. The deal is worth a cool £339m. Their ability to keep the student gravy train running is puzzling when you consider that most of the real trains they touch come instantly off the rails.
While Lancaster Uni was busy showering them with cash, Jarvis were also being quizzed by Network Rail over accusations that they faked their own records to cover up dodgy repairs. Network Rail - Labour’s not-forprofit replacement for the failed Railtrack - has now dumped Jarvis and the rest of the private sector charlatans for its repair work. It reckons it can do a better job itself. So while Network Rail is giving Jarvis the well-deserved boot, our universities are busy welcoming this bunch of cowboys with open wallets.
Elsewhere... HAPPILY, IT’S BEEN a bad week for fat, unfunny loser Jim Davidson. Easily snatching this column’s Worst Comment of the Week Award, Davidson pulled out of a Plymouth show because “there were too many disabled people in the audience.” After his attitude provoked a firestorm of outrage, Davidson claimed it was because part of his act involved taking the piss out of the disabled and he didn’t want to offend them. So it would have been fine to rip it out of them if they hadn’t been there, would it Jim? Wheelchairbound exserviceman Ken Hull, 83, who went to the Plymouth show, summed it up: “I would not go to see him again. His attitude is disgusting.” Good on you, Ken. THIS MONTH saw more bonkers Yank politicians getting themselves into hot water. Kendel Ehrlich, wife of Maryland Governor Robert Ehrlich, was forced to apologise for saying she wanted to “shoot” Britney Spears. Quite what the lovely pop princess did to offend Ehrlich isn’t entirely clear. But what I want to know is why can’t we have political embarrassments as good as this in Britain? Oh wait, we have - he’s called Iain Duncan Smith. YOU CAN USUALLY spot the real Nearo-Nazi headcases when they attack the BBC as a “corrupt left-wing clique”. It’s a fave tactic of the BNP, the UK Independence Party, the Spin and even the more flaky elements among the Con-artists. This group of nutjobs regularly denounced the Beeb’s Iraq war reports as fresh evidence of leftwing, anti-American bias. In which case, the latest ITC report into media coverage should make interesting reading for them. Apparently, large numbers of Brits agree that the Beeb’s war coverage was unfair. They thought the BBC (along with ITV and Sky) had a British/ American pro-war bias.
AGREE? DISAGREE? EMAIL ME AT GRCOBLEY@CF.AC.UK AND IF IT’S ANY GOOD, I MIGHT EVEN PRINT IT
Political Debate
October 25 2003
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ssugr1@cf.ac.uk
menace Corrupt, inept and underhand Globalisation Global trade in labour destroying British jobs An analysis of corruption at the heart of the EU government
By Andrew Caldicott Political Editor
E
I
n last week’s Letters page, Marco Cristofolini asked me if I have any proof of European corruption. Well, the simple answer to that is "yes". Unfortunately I don’t have enough space to write about all of it, but I refer the reader to inspect press releases at the European Anti-Fraud Office at http://europa.eu.int/olaf for further information. For now I will outline just three recent episodes of corruption at the top level of this unelected, undemocratic bureaucracy. The first case refers to an insiderdealing scam spanning no less that three European countries. Eight people including a European Commission official were arrested this month in connection with a scandal involving £30 billion-a-year subsidies from the ridiculous Common Agricultural Policy. The official, who is a Dutch citizen, stands accused of accepting bribes for passing confidential information to grain dealers in France and the Netherlands, and has been charged with corruption, violation of professional secrecy and criminal conspiracy. This case is particularly embarrassing for the EU Commission, coming only weeks after the Eurostat scandal in which it is alleged that officials siphoned off millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money into secret bank accounts. The present Commission came to power in 1999 following the mass resignation of the previous Commission on corruption charges. The second case refers to the exLabour leader Neil Kinnock, who is now the European Commission vicepresident and champion of EU reform.
By Polly March
He is to be questioned by a group of MEPs regarding an alleged cover-up of mismanagement and cronyism in the aforementioned Eurostat scam. It is alleged that Mr. Kinnock dismissed complaints about corruption within Eurostat from Dorte Schmidt-Brown who "blew the whistle" on malpractice within the organisation and who has been subjected to intimidation. This is all the more embarrassing for Mr. Kinnock, who was well known for his "zero tolerance" claims towards corruption in the EU. This is not an isolated case of the intimidation within the EU. Another whistle-blower who caused the resignation of the whole of the EU Commission in 1999 was pushed into resigning in August 2002 after admitting defeat in trying to uncover corruption at the heart of Europe. He exposed one of the worst scandals in the EU’s history when he disclosed that there was prolific abuse in the highest echelons of the Commission,
mostly by the use of fictitious contracts to outside “consultants”, including one to the live-in “dentist” of Edith Cresson, the then French commissioner. He was punished by suspension on half-pay. None of the officials were punished with a custodial sentence. Hardly a deterrent for future commissioners tempted by the generous EU gravy train. Paul van Buitenen also detailed the harsh treatment of the Commission’s chief accountant, Marta Andreasen, who was removed from her post and officially disciplined after she disclosed that the £62 billion EU budget was “out of control”. It is unbelievable that the ruling body of an allegedly democratic pseudo-superstate remains out of the reach of the body democratically elected by the people of Europe to represent them. It should be pointed out that the Commission is wholly unelected, but they make decisions that affect your lives.
ver earned valuable money as a temp at a call centre? Well with National Rail Enquiries’ recent announcement that it is relocating its call centres to India, those days are numbered. Union officials believe this transfer alone will threaten more than 1,000 jobs at call centres scattered across Cardiff, Derby, Newcastle and Plymouth and have labelled the move an act of ‘crass stupidity’. Each year increasingly more businesses are being ‘outsourced’ eastwards. Among them are companies such as Global Telecom, Deloitte and Touche, HSBC, British Airways and Prudential. Now workers in India conduct anything from the processing of student loans to queries about utility bills and flight bookings. On last week’s The Money Programme - The Great British Jobs Takeaway, the BBC investigated this new economic phenomenon and how it is changing the face of global business. An independent study has predicted that at present 80,000 people work in British-run call centres in India and this figure is rising at 50% per annum. Now a telephone call to a British bank or insurer is as likely to be answered in Bombay as Bristol by staff with impeccable British accents. Potential workers anglicise their accents by watching Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady so that they can appeal to our nostalgia for British cultural imperialism. Employees are also encouraged to ‘soapwatch’ and keep themselves abreast of the news and football scores so that they can find a
common ground when reminding customers to pay their phone bills. Eastern relocation creates a 30-40% cost saving for individual UK businesses and the starting salary for an Indian call centre worker is £130-200 per month (just one tenth of the pay in a similar job in the UK). As a result of this cost-saving, the future for UK call centres has never looked bleaker. At present it is a major industry which employs about 500,000 people across 6,000 sites. However, the specialist consultancy, Mitial Research, has predicted that one third of Britain's larger call centres will shut down by 2005 with the loss of 90,000 jobs. Is there anything we can do to combat the massive redundancies this will cause? Mike Harding, the managing director of Mercer Oliver Wyman, sees cost as just one issue: “Companies go for the costs and stay for the quality.” India may be a developing country but its workforce is viewed as more hard-working and well-educated than their British counterparts. The average UK call centre worker is paid £12,500, but companies can hire graduates in India for one sixth of that. While the potential cost savings remain so enticing, British workers haven’t got a chance.
Devolution of fees W By Naomi Blight
ith what is said to be the biggest student protest ever taking place this Sunday, the controversial issue of student funding is prevalent in everyone's mind. This national protest is of obvious importance to all students; however, it is also important that people are aware of what NUS Wales are doing on a regional scale. On July 17, Jane Davidson, the Welsh Minister for Education and Life Long Learning, announced an agreement between Parliament and
the Welsh Assembly Government to devolve responsibility for higher education student support and the tuition fee regime to the Welsh Assembly. The Assembly has already promised not to introduce top-up fees until at least 2007, as well as higher education initiatives such as AimHigher and the Widening Access Agenda. However it is still of vital importance that the Welsh Assembly use its powers to vote against the White Paper in Parliament as the introduction of top-up fees in England will drastically affect Wales and the student population as a whole.
Join the debate Want to get involved? Interested in politics? Email gairrhydd@cf.ac.uk or come to the gair rhydd office
Letters
Page 8
October 25 2003
grletters@cf.ac.uk Letter of the week receives two free cinema tickets courtesy etting of UGC cinemas, Cardiff. If your letter is here, come on up to the office to collect them. We can’t be assed to chase you.
Little Jon talks big Dear gair rhydd, I was delighted to see in last week’s edition (11/10/03, p2) our local MP Jon Owen Jones saying how concerned he was about top-up fees, and the possibility of students from poorer backgrounds being put off going to university. It is certainly good to see the MP from Cardiff Central trying to stand up for students in his area, but the question is can we believe him? After a little research, I’ve discovered that our MP voted FOR tuition fees three times! He clearly wasn’t concerned about student debt then! Joe Carter (politics and history) When you discover that politicians couldn’t care less about anyone but themselves, think of the Parable of the Old Woman and the Snake (see Hunter S Thompson, or Google): "Lady, you knew I was a snake when you picked me up…”
Entry level student Dear gair rhydd, As a paper that has, in the past, championed the ‘fresher hater’ school of thought, I'd like to mention the fact that you are not alone. Call me paranoid, but whoever conspired to run a fire drill at 6 am on a Monday morning, as occurred today at Aberconway, must belong to a secret sect of fresher haters. The people involved in this (ie, the staff) were obviously taking the term 'fresher' from you because no one else gives a shit. No more fire drills please. Yours, shock horror, a first year. Think of it as a kind of "hazing" ritual. And count yourself lucky. If this were America, you’d be bent over, trousers round your ankles, while some chunky fraternity star quarterback rogers you, and forced to yell "Thank-you Sir, may I have another!", with his every thrust.
Smokescreens Dear gair rhydd, The combined efforts of the union pushing up drinks prices (justified apparently though no doubt to pay for those new fancy screens in the foyer) and some twats buying about thirty tickets at a time to re-sell at extortionate prices, means that a Saturday night spent at Solus isn't a bargain after all! Every year gair rhydd reports on countless cases where Cardiff students have been ripped-off by tyrannical landlords or organisations. With regards to the escalating Come Play ticket scam, am I the only one who is shocked that some scabby students have taken to selling on handfuls of these tickets, often at double the box-office price or more, in order to make a quick buck? Shame on you.
We're all in the same boat... on a budget (well most of us) and looking for a good and reasonably priced night out with our mates. Some might say I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face, but I won't be going to Come Play this Saturday. Yours, annoyed fourth year There plenty of other nights in Cardiff. Clwb Ifor Bach, The Toucan…etc. etc. I have been informed that the screens in the union generate revenue from advertising and the union have a deal with a TV company, so they’re paying for themselves. Allegedly.
‘They’re after me lucky charms’ Dear gair rhydd, I am deeply concerned about the principles of our union. When I came to university, I was under the impression that student unions were there to benefit students and that we had an input in the way they were run. I have clearly been misled in this belief. Last year I was a supervisor in the Seren Las. At that time, all employees but the manager and the supervisor of the Taf food bar were students. We were all employed by the student union, which was aware of our needs as a student, such as flexibility around working hours (especially around exam periods) and we were paid weekly in cash. This has now been lost with the introduction of a new franchised company taking over. The percentage of staff that are students has decreased, and those that remain are mostly old members of the team who I believe O’Brien’s were unwilling to re-employ. The menu that we created was specifically aimed at a student market, with cheap hot food. We
intended to provide affordable filling meals. Now students are unable to get a hot meal in any part of our union. This is despite the fact that there are two large kitchens (which I believe have been fully financed by the union) standing barely used! Not only the newly equipped kitchen of Seren Las (fitted with new fryers and microwaves last year) but also the kitchen in Solus, which was not fully utilised last year either (only used for occasionally for performers in the union). As a student café last year we tried to keep to the general ethos of student life with a £1.99 cooked breakfasts, burgers and fair trade goods. All of which have been lost with a commercial brand name appearing in our union. I have not returned to last year’s position largely because of this take over and the fact that current staff have told me they are unhappy with the new environment. What does this new development mean for our union? Will we have a Starbucks next, or will our Taf become a Wetherspoon’s? I feel very strongly that this move has been a management error; the loss of a successful student run café could ultimately end up with our facilities being cut.
The gair rhydd letters page Please email rather than post your letters in, remember kids - this week, paper is mostly for: the ancient art of origami... Arigato gozimasu. This week nobody likes... O’Brien’s. Most disliked gair rhydd staff member is Mark Cobley. Everyone hates the union, and one of you seems strangely preoccupied with koala bears. Everybody likes swearing. Fine by me, but some folks are objecting to it in print... Think of Marlon Brando’s monologue near the end of Apocalypse Now: The army won’t let anyone write “fuck” on their napalm bombs because it’s “offensive”... James Anthony in six different toilets. Of course, I can see his argument against justifying abstinence with religion to the non-religious, but Mark Cobley seems to be anti-abstinence - which frankly is retarded. And besides, the Christian belief is certainly not that sex is in any way ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong’. There is a large section of the student population that isn’t sleeping with anything that moves and smells of vodka (out of choice I should point out to avoid the usually well thought out reply). I’d always considered myself quite left wing, but if this is the representational ‘voice you can trust’ I think I’ll stop listening. Voluntarily abstinent second year
Becki, second year psychology Wetherspoon’s?! Let’s just take a moment to envisage a Cardiff Students’ Union with the pub equivalent of McDonald’s bang in the centre of it... There goes the neighbourhood. The Taf is as close to being a Wetherspoon’s as you can get without actually being one anyway.
Sex is evil, evil is sin... sin is forgiven? Dear gair rhydd, I am writing in response to Mark Cobley’s comments on sex education and his apparent dislike of abstinence. Could I dare suggest that current sex education policies really don’t provide all the answers? Some proposals for future sex education in schools suggest teachers promote oral sex to keep teenage pregnancy rates and STDs down - try and imagine your 12-year-old daughter being taught that. Excuse me for pointing out the obvious, but the only 100% reliable way to avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancy is to not have sex. More importantly though, when I sat through two days of enforced playing with cucumbers and the like at high school, what was completely missed out was a discussion of the nonphysical effects of sleeping around. You might be able to keep pregnancy down (though in reality it doesn’t seem to) but in my opinion the only way forward is to promote sex within long term relationships where partners respect and trust each othercurrent sex education misses this out completely. There’s a lot to be said for knowing that your partner hasn’t had sex with seven different men/women
Re. 21:8 (NIV): "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars – their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulphur. This is the second death." Rom. 1:18-32 (NIV): "…[W]omen exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones… In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion… although they
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know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death…" Sex education not the answer? The Bible says you’ll burn if you give head, and if you’re gay, you get Hell’s equivalent of double detention. ‘Immoral’ = dirty, ‘punishable by death’ = wrong. Incidentally, free Bibles are available from "Words of Truth": 01656 659 372. No kidding. Mark answers: I’m anti”Abstinence Only” sex ed. I happen to think kids should have all the facts about sex before they make whatever decision is best for them. I am against religious nuts like Dubya imposing their views on everyone else, and probably encouraging STDs and pregnancy by spreading ignorance and fear. It’s one thing to say “abstinence is one choice” but quite another to say “abstinence is the only option”.
Insert Joke Containing Pun On The Word “Text” Here... Text us:
07791 165 837
please, please, please bring back seren las, Friends and a decent meal. How long will it take for the union to realise they have replaced a business that was just reaching it’s peak, with a tired and overpriced mess. We want justice! X x Ur already overstuffed existence. Think before you act, that is the question. peace out friends. Where have all the salmon gone?! Freshers will you stop getting a hardon over ComePlay - get a life and go to fucking town (so we can go) All women press the fish on a regular basis, just be honest ladies!
I’d like to announce that i am a goat and i’ve been living in the depths of cathays for 50 years now. I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff! Warning all freshers... the milk in Talybont shop is from an illegal guinea pig milking ring. They use tweezers! I can hear their squeaks of pain. It makes me weep. OK, that’s it. Texts this week were of an overall poor quality. If you want to see your words here, don’t swear, don’t chat mindless pap (unless it’s funny), and make it either thought provoking or relevant. We get in trouble if we say “Shit”, “Fuck” and “Bollocks” all the time.And we especially can’t say “C***” - see? it goes all starry...
Email your letters to: grletters@cf.ac.uk - gair rhydd will attempt to print any letters that I think are good enough. Apologies for those that do not make it due to space restrictions, or are shit. The views expressed in these letters are not usually those of the newspaper or the letters desk.
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0 HEMA KANJI FOR INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS OFFICER I am FRIENDLY, OUTGOING, CONFIDENT and determined to ensure that international students are welcomed, supported and assisted with all sorts of problems. MY AIMS: To represent and fight for your rights as an international student Campaign against visa fees Campaign against the increase of tuition fees Provide for equal opportunity and access to all facilities Further develop the already established buddy scheme Improve cultural awareness by more effectively promoting events like Global Village
Being an international student myself, I understand and appreciate most of the difficulties faced by international students. It would be a great privilege to represent you all as an international affairs officer.
HEMA KANJI A VOICE FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS
International Affairs Officer
João Martins Experience: ∅ 3rd year international student, ∅ President of People and Planet, a student society actively campaigning on important international issues, ∅ Membership of the Students Council helped me understand the intricacies of Union politics Aims: ∅ Campaign strongly against the recent Visa Renewal Charges deeply affecting International students, ∅ Build on successful events such as Global Village and create regular multicultural celebrations over the year, ∅ Support campaigns of international significance, …and ensure that all international students are able to have the best possible time at Cardiff University and thereby enriching the lives of all students from every cultural background.
REPRESENTING YOU, INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS, IN YOUR UNIVERSITY
INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS OFFICER
VOTE FOR TC - Tushar Choraria My Aims: ∞ Enable international students to mingle with local students more easily by organising socio-
cultural events with the help of the Students Union. ∞ Improve Global Village and make it more student friendly. ∞ Campaign to increase the maximum legal working hour limit of 20 hours a week for international students. ∞ Campaign for the reduction in Course Fees. My Experience: ∞ President, S.I.S. Society (Cardiff), (Elected) 2003-2004 ∞ Student Representative, Accounting Staff-Student Panel, Cardiff (Elected) ∞ Actively took part in Global Village 2002.
BRINGING THE WORLD TOGETHER
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0 HEMA KANJI FOR INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS OFFICER I am FRIENDLY, OUTGOING, CONFIDENT and determined to ensure that international students are welcomed, supported and assisted with all sorts of problems. MY AIMS: To represent and fight for your rights as an international student Campaign against visa fees Campaign against the increase of tuition fees Provide for equal opportunity and access to all facilities Further develop the already established buddy scheme Improve cultural awareness by more effectively promoting events like Global Village
Being an international student myself, I understand and appreciate most of the difficulties faced by international students. It would be a great privilege to represent you all as an international affairs officer.
HEMA KANJI A VOICE FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS
International Affairs Officer
João Martins Experience: ∅ 3rd year international student, ∅ President of People and Planet, a student society actively campaigning on important international issues, ∅ Membership of the Students Council helped me understand the intricacies of Union politics Aims: ∅ Campaign strongly against the recent Visa Renewal Charges deeply affecting International students, ∅ Build on successful events such as Global Village and create regular multicultural celebrations over the year, ∅ Support campaigns of international significance, …and ensure that all international students are able to have the best possible time at Cardiff University and thereby enriching the lives of all students from every cultural background.
REPRESENTING YOU, INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS, IN YOUR UNIVERSITY
INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS OFFICER
VOTE FOR TC - Tushar Choraria My Aims: ∞ Enable international students to mingle with local students more easily by organising socio-
cultural events with the help of the Students Union. ∞ Improve Global Village and make it more student friendly. ∞ Campaign to increase the maximum legal working hour limit of 20 hours a week for international students. ∞ Campaign for the reduction in Course Fees. My Experience: ∞ President, S.I.S. Society (Cardiff), (Elected) 2003-2004 ∞ Student Representative, Accounting Staff-Student Panel, Cardiff (Elected) ∞ Actively took part in Global Village 2002.
BRINGING THE WORLD TOGETHER
rhydd
gair
FREE
free word - EST. 1972
CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY
INSIDE
ISSUE 747. OCTOBER 25 2003
Cobley Love him or hate him, our resident “Richard Littlejohn for the left” rants about road tax moaners p6
grab! Win two weekend passes plus your accommodation for the Tribal Gathering grab! p28 Weekender!
TOP-UP FLOP
SCRAPPED: Wendy Sadler
Cardiff on the scrap heap By Clare Hepple Reporter
A CARDIFF University physicist is part of the first all-female team to take part in Channel 4’s series Scrapheap Challenge. Wendy Sadler, of the School of Physics and Astronomy, teamed up with two other women to form the ‘Iron Maidens’. Scrapheap Challenge brings together two competing teams to construct a working machine using any scrap material available. In a race against the clock, both teams have 10 hours to complete their contraption before the final test. All three are members of NOISE (New Outlook In Science and Engineering) – a UK-wide campaign to promote science and engineering to teenagers and discourage the stereotype of middle-aged men in white coats. The show, broadcast last Sunday, saw the Iron Maidens lose out to the competition. Despite this, Wendy said, "I had a great time. It was physically exhausting, and I ached a lot the next day, but it was a good learning experience. I really enjoyed it."
Debt will deter 85% of young people from uni say NUS By Peter Bramwell, Susan Doragh and Rosey Leech THE NUS has revealed an alarming 85 per cent of young people would not go to university if they were to accumulate £20,000 of debt. The statistics come from survey which investigated the attitudes of year 10 pupils on higher education. These are the first cohort to be affected by government proposals on top-up fees. To sceptics of top-up fees, the results vindicate the position that debt and fear of debt is a critical barrier to those from lower income backgrounds when considering applying to university. NUS President Mandy Telford said, "Fees and debt will deter the very people the government wants to attract to university. "Although 90 per cent of respondents believed in the power of higher
education as the route to a better life, they also believed education is a public service and that they had the right to progress to higher education should they wish." Other key findings from the study show that a third of those who wanted to go to university said they would change their mind if fees were raised to just £2,000 per year £1,000 less than the government
not to introduce top-up fees until at least 2007. “However, we remain concerned that some Welsh MPs may use the devolution of HE funding to sidestep the student support issue.”
K N BA
T P RU
has proposed. Natasha Hirst, NUS Wales President said, “NUS Wales has an excellent working relationship with the Welsh Assembly government and with Jane Davidson AM, and we have enthusiastically welcomed the Assembly’s commitment
The NUS’ study comes after a recent survey by the Times Higher Education Supplement provided a shocking insight into the future cost of university study. Fifty-five universities and colleges responded to the questionnaire, with 20 giving detailed information regarding how much they intend to charge for each type of course if legislation is passed.
Each indicated that they would be charging the highest bracket of fees. Among them were the University of Nottingham, Exeter University and Surrey University as well as Leeds Metropolitan University. Furthermore, fees for certain subjects may be higher than for others. Mandy Telford added, "First, we were told that top-up fees were being introduced because cash-strapped universities needed the money – yet this week Tony Blair said they were needed to raise extra money for
“Fees and debt will deter the very people the government wants to attract to uni” MANDY TELFORD
Will numbers in higher ed go down?
Sport
Page 34
November 1 2003
grsport@cardiff.ac.uk
BUSA
PHOTO: TOM BROWN
CLUB FOCUS
Results
SURF CLUB By Tom Curren
“In there like swimwear” is a phrase often heard as keen members of Cardiff Surf Club brave the unpredictable waters of Porthcawl. The club is over twenty years old and although the glory days of being BUSA champions seem a distant memory, there exists within the club a very friendly and welcoming spirit which makes the sport a worthwhile one to take up. The enthusiastic committee recruited over 130 members at the Freshers’ Fair this year and the club has since gone from strength to strength. At least once a week, depending on the swell, members travel to Porthcawl to ‘catch some waves’.
All abilities are catered for and all equipment, including wet suits, boots, and boards are provided. The club recently purchased two mini-mal boards, which will be especially good for beginners to learn on, but which everyone will be able to have fun on if the waves are small. On the weekend of March 5, the club will descend upon Fistral Beach, in Newquay for the BUSA Championships.
CARDIFF 1sts 9 – 1 TRINITY CARDIFF GOT THEIR season back on track with a comprehensive 9–1 thrashing of Trinity. In truth, had Cardiff sustained their dominance for the entire 90 minutes the score could and should have been more. All this despite the squad being depleted through a number of injuries. Within 10 minutes, Simon Lewis had scored after a thumping 20-yard drive from skipper Matt Kay rebounded off the post. Leading by example, Kay covered every blade of grass as he drove his team on against their somewhat lacklustre opponents. From there Cardiff were never in danger and looked capable of scoring with every advance. Soon they were two up, Si Green scoring the goal of the game with an audacious chip from 25 yards. Quick strikes followed from Mike Rabjohns and Green as Cardiff cantered into the break with a four-goal cushion. Complacency crept into the Cardiff play in the second half, with many of the players seemingly content to rest on their laurels.
However, any thoughts of an easy second half were eradicated with 25 minutes remaining as Trinity struck direct from a free kick, which sailed over a flapping Rich Warwick in the Cardiff goal. This caused Cardiff to spring to life once again, netting five more times in the final 20 minutes. Jamie Parkinson and Kay scored almost identical goals, heading in following in-swinging Green corners, before Green himself scored. lt completed a super hat-trick. Green has now bagged ten goals in seven games this season, a remarkable achievement by any standards. All that was left was for midfield linchpin Benny Thomas to steal the show, netting goals eight and nine, deftly finishing after some dazzling trickery. Elsewhere, the Seconds were soundly beaten 30 by an organised UWIC side, seeing Forbes’ men losing their unbeaten league record in the process. The Thirds picked up their first point of the season, drawing 1-1 away to Gloucester, Steff Dutch bagging for Cardiff. The Fourths, meanwhile, continue to defy all expectations, with Hawes’ men beating previously undefeated Glamorgan 4-1.
Gloucester
9-0
Lacrosse
12 - 6
Southampton
Men’s Football 1sts
9-1
Trinity
Men’s Football 2nds
0-3
UWIC
Men’s Football 3rds
1-1
Gloucester
Men’s Rugby 1sts
6-3
Swansea Institute
Men’s Rugby 2nds
7 - 10
Bath
Men’s Rugby 3rds
20 - 27
Gloucester
Men’s Hockey 1sts
6-0
Swansea
Men’s Hockey 4ths
6-0
Gloucester
Men’s Tennis Men’s Basketball
Bristol
135 - 80
Southampton
5-1
Bath
65 - 109 4-2
Southamton Institute
Women’s Football
1 - 14
Marjons
Women’s Hockey 1sts
1-1
Swansea
Women’s Hockey 2nds
6-0
UWE
Women’s Hockey 3rds
5-1
Aberystwyth
Golf
Netball 1sts
64 - 20
Oxford
Netball 4ths
26 - 29
Gloucester
Women’s Basketball
29 - 35
Women’s Volleyball
UWE
3-0
UWIC
Women’s Tennis
W/O
PLymouth
Women’s Rugby
72 - 5
Aberystwyth
A word from the President..
Hat-trick hero Green grabs glory as firsts fire nine By John Tuscany
Wednesday October 29
Men’s Badminton 2nds
Men’s Fencing
This year they hope to enter three teams, including one girls’ team, so any budding Kelly Slaters are urged to get involved. The surfers not only enjoy themselves in the water, but also on dry land. They have already had one successful social, which ended messily in Creation, and have many more plans in the ‘pipeline’. The club makes great use of the University website (www.cardiffstudents.com) and their site is definitely worth a visit. There are photos of previous trips and also a messageboard, which is checked and updated regularly. Otherwise, please contact Dan or Ed, cardiffsurf@hotmail.com, for more information.
ROUND-UP
Tom Brown discusses this week’s BUSA action WEDNESDAY WAS A gloomy, miserable, and wet day but it seemed the sun shined on our teams, who produced some great results. The ladies’ rugby team, looking smart in their new kits, used solid scrums and a well-organised back line to thrash Aberystwyth 72-5 with three tries scored by Mezz, who was awarded player of the match. Although the Second and Third netball teams suffered narrow defeats, the First team won impres-
sively against Oxford 64-20 with a great performance by Helen Richards. The injury-stricken mens’ First rugby team had a vicious battle to take a tight 6-3 win over the Swansea Institute boys in difficult conditions. Fortunately, the Institute’s last drop goal attempt to tie the match dropped below the bar. On the hockey pitch, the men’s Fourth team are still unbeaten with another big win of 6-0, this time against Gloucester Seconds, and the First team had a
great pre-Varsity 6-0 victory over Swansea. Further congratulations go to the football, volleyball, badminton, lacrosse, squash, tennis and golf teams. Finally, the infamous ‘Search For The Baylord’ event takes place over the weekend, which is the product of such hard work and organisation by Cardiff Windsurfing Club. 213 students from across the UK signed up to take part in the fun both on and off (and in) the water.
Cardiff net comfortable win over Saints By Hywel Bevan FOLLOWING LAST WEEK’S whitewash victory away at Swansea University, the mens’ tennis team entertained Southampton University. Third seed James Franklin once again teamed up with fifth seed Raphael Olszyna-Marzys as they won a decisive tie-break in the first dou-
bles match, taking the rubber 9-8. Meanwhile, first and second seeds Saq Rana and Dan Arbatto had a comfortable victory in the second doubles rubber, winning 8-1. The only rubber lost by Cardiff came when Rana was defeated 7-6 26 6-4 in a three set encounter with his opposite number. However, Rana’s loss was not crucial, as firstly Arbatto (6-0 6-2), and fourth seed Toi Tee (6-1 6-2), regis-
tered comfortable victories in their singles rubbers. Cardiff ’s dominance was confirmed as Franklin won 6-1 5-7 6-2 against Southampton’s third seed. The final match score was 5-1 to Cardiff. Cardiff womens’ team had a walkover as the match against Plymouth University was cancelled. Both the mens’ and womens’ teams will hope to extend their unbeaten runs into next week’s BUSA matches and continue their good runs of form.
Television
Page 28
November 1 2003
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Friday 7 November BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Garden Invaders 10.30 House Invaders 11.00 Trading Up 11.30 To Buy or Not to Buy 12.00 Trading Treasures 12.30 Bargain Hunt 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15.25 CBeebies: Tweenies 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Rugrats 16.35 The Ghosthunter 17.00 Blue Peter 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Summer tries to make things better for Max. Fat chance. Is she planning on moving out, or snorting acid and possibly kicking the bucket? That’s the only way I can think of her “making things better”. Oh shut up you revolting pervs. 18.00 BBC News News. 18.30 Wales Today 19.00 A Question of Sport With Roberto “I’m surely not the best they could come up with” Di Matteo. 19.30 Top of the Pops 20.00 EastEnders The gloves come off as Andy delivers a chilling handjob to Alfie. (“warning”, surely? - ed.) 20.30 All about Me “All about Jasper Carrott being a humourless prick,” more like. 21.00 Absolutely Fabulous 21.30 Have I Got News for You 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Friday Night with Jonathan Ross Guests are Samuel L Jackson, Jerry Springer, the surname-free Alex from Fame Academy; and Radiohead being boring. 23.25 Boxing 01.00 FILM: North Dallas Forty ***
06.00 CBeebies: Angelmouse 06.10 Fireman Sam 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 The Lampies 07.30 Round the Twist 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Noah's Island 08.30 CBeebies: The Story Makers 08.50 Dr Otter 09.00 Tweenies 09.20 Little Robots 09.30 Fimbles 09.50 Teletubbies 10.20 Magic Key 10.35 Storytime 10.50 Science Clips 11.00 Speak for Yourself 11.20 Writing Across the Curriculum 11.40 BBC Primary Geography 12.00 Working Lunch 13.00 Golf: Seve Trophy 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air 18.45 Scrum V Live: Cardiff Blues v Newport and Gwent Dragons 21.00 Gardeners' World With “Hullo, I’m” Monty Don 21.30 Timewatch: The Last Tomb Raider Was almost certainly NOT a half naked frumpy female who flipped switches for a living and posed in salacious garments on Playstation magazine. But it’s all artistic license, yeah? 22.20 Ancient Apocalypse 22.30 Newsnight With Gavin Esler. 23.00 Newsnight Review 23.35 Later with Jools Holland Jools 00.35 The X Files 01.20 FILM: The Addiction An “intelligent” vampire movie, apparently, so obviously they had me in mind... *** 03.00 BBC Learning Zone I wonder, has anyone ever used The Learning Zone to actually learn anything? Or is it just cheap television? Bring back pages from Ceefax, I say.
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 This Morning: Soaps Special 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Boohbah 15.30 What about Mimi? 16.00 Fingertips 16.20 You Can Do Magic 16.30 All Grown Up! 17.00 Boot Sale Treasure 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale 19.30 Coronation Street Fred's Dracula Pie gives Les food for thought. Dev is left confused as Maya blows hot and cold. A “say what?” and a big “fnarrr” respectively. 20.00 House of Horrors 20.30 Airline Rachael Gardner's hen night gets underway. Since we’re on the subject, Stag and Hen nights can actually fuck off. People seem to use them as excuses for one last chance to shag strippers and get wasted and superglued to lampposts. Doesn’t the fact you’re engaged suggest something fidelity-related? Aaargh. 21.00 POW 22.00 Tarrant on TV 22.30 ITV Weekend News 23.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 23.30 Harry Hill's TV Burp . 00.00 Tarrant on TV 00.35 The Making of Matrix Revolutions See pick of the week. 01.05 FILM: Top Dog Comic adventure about a cop who is reluctantly teamed with a new partner - a slobbering police dog called Rob Pulling. 03.35 Mixmasters 04.05 Entertainment Now! 04.35 World Football
Top Dog ITV1 1.05am
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Ysgolion 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Sali Mali 12.40 Planed Plant Bach: Twm 13.00 Planed Plant Bach: Pot Mel 13.15 Fifteen to One 13.45 Fifteen to One 14.15 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Uned 5 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Friends 19.00 Popcorn 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Dudley 20.30 Pobol y Cwm A happy day for Teg and Britt as they bring baby Catrin home. From the morgue. 21.00 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd 21.30 World Rally: Great Britain 22.00 Grand Designs Revisited 23.00 V Graham 23.40 Dirty Sanchez 00.10 Distraction 00.40 Fashion House 01.10 FILM: Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town It really, really pains me to say this, but I saw this a few years ago the last time C4 showed it, and, sadly, it’s nowhere near as good as the title suggests. Loads of Cell Block H mullet-munchers literally fucking about on both sorts of bike, and the zombie bits aren’t even that good. Boo. *** 02.40 Honda Formula 4-Stroke Powerboating Championship Gotta stay up for this one... 03.10 The Porsche Carrera Cup 03.35 Brazilian Football Championship
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.30 Capital Floyd 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 FILM: All the Winters That Have Been ** 16.25 Open House with Gloria Hunniford: Celebrity Special 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away Alf has a harrowing premonition of the future, as he teeters on the edge of the after-life. Hmmm Ok Ok, since when has Home and Away gone all Twin Peaks on us? Next they’ll be telling us Jesse has been having backward-talking dreams, and Vinny’s returned to wreak revenge on his former collegues in a vicious game of Summer Bay chess. 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.30 Mission to the Deep: WWI's Deadliest U-Boat 20.00 House Doctor 20.30 Dream Holiday Home 21.00 FILM: The Pelican Brief *** 23.45 Boomtown 00.40 Shock and Awe: The Return of Alien, with Danny Boyle 01.05 FILM: Captive * 02.35 FILM: Term of Trial With *** 04.25 Beverly Hills, 90210 05.10 Sons and Daughters
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
CH 4
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Buddy Holly's 19.30 FightBox 20.30 Celebdaq 21.00 Grease Monkeys 21.30 Absolutely Fabulous 22.00 EastEnders 22.30 Trevor Nelson's Lowdown 23.00 What Not to Wear 23.30 Liquid Assets: Prince's Millions Legend. That’s official. The entire Purple Rain soundtrack, YES. To be honest, I don’t really care if the half-baked shortass spent all his millions on hookers, crack cocaine and Led Zeppelin CD’s, providing I can go home after this and listen to the dulcet tones of I Would Die 4 U, When Doves Cry, or indeed, Purple Rain itself. 00.30 Celebdaq 01.00 FightBox 02.00 Stripping Pop: Badly Drawn Boy Things not to think about No. 570 02.25 Celebdaq
09.55 Emmerdale 10.30 Trisha Extra 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.45 Movies Now 18.00 Coronation Street 18.30 Emmerdale 19.00 Jerry Springer 19.50 Dancing in the Street 20.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 A look ahead to this weekend's quarter-finals. 20.30 Pop Idol Extra 22.00 The Joy of Decks Series following four unknown DJs as they are guided by Roni Size and Mr C.Presumably the Mr C. from The Shamen, not Hollyoaks 22.30 Coronation Street 23.00 Harry Hill's TV Burp 01.00 Jerry Springer 01.45 Late Show with David Letterman
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 Wife Swap 22.00 Sex with Your Ex Documentary about snivelling twats who can’t stop sleeping with their exes. 23.05 Little Friends 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Hollyoaks 00.40 The Salon 01.10 The Secret Life of Us 02.05 The Secret Life of Us 02.55 Smallville: Superman the Early Years Hum-drum, nothing to do. I left the office early last night and I feel like I’m being kept in the next day like I’m in detention or something. It’s not my fault I wanted to go and make Halloween pumpkins, it’s a natural urge. But anyway, since you probably can’t live without my musical suggestions each week (admit it) I’ve only got three letters for you this week. Emo. You love it.
06.00 Dr Phil 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Yu-Gi-Oh! 08.00 Gamezville 09.00 Stargate SG-1 10.00 The X Files 11.00 Angel 12.00 Dharma and Greg 12.25 Jenny Jones 13.20 Dr Phil 14.15 FILM: Loss of Faith ** 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 Malcolm in the Middle Lois imagines what life would be like if her boys were girls. Life would be a lot better to live, for a start, and the two programs on later tonight may not have been made... 20.30 Scrubs 21.00 Dead Like Me 22.00 Dead Like Me 23.00 Unofficial World Records of Sex 23.30 Double Entry Two frankly unbelieveable programs discussed earlier in these TV listings. 00.00 Mile High 01.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 01.50 The X Files 02.40 Angel 03.30 Philly 04.20 Cream 05.10 Guilty!
09.00 Bewitched 09.30 4Learning 9.30 Science in Focus. 10.10 Self Portrait. 10.35 Technology. 11.00 The Hoobs. 11.25 Extra. 11.50 Making It. 11.55 Life Stuff. 12.30 Cheers 13.00 FILM: Guadalcanal Diary . *** 14.45 Fifteen to One 16.00 A Place in the Sun shop. 18.30 Hollyoaks Kristian lends Izzy a shirt but Ben walks in and begins to wonder what's happened. Surely not the entire subject of todays ‘Oaks? 19.00 Channel 4 News. 19.30 World Rally: Great Britain 20.00 Unreported World: The City of the Lost Girls I was wondering what happened to that girl I asked out in Year 10 and never saw again... 20.30 Friends 21.00 Will and Grace 21.30 Scrubs 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Distraction 23.10 The Osbournes 00.10 Fashion House 00.45 FILM: A ma soeur! Highly salacious sounding film, about sibling rivalry and sexual awakening. Incestuous fucking and fighting in historical France, then.
Liquid Assets:Prince’s Millions BBC3 23.30pm
Friday 7 November
Sport
Page 30
October 25 2003
grsport@cf.ac.uk
SPECTACULAR
Rabs stunner lights up bleak week for Men’s AFC By Si Green and John Tuscany ABERYSTWYTH 4-1 CARDIFF FIRSTS AFTER A PROMISING start to the season, Cardiff Firsts were disappointed to lose 4-1 away in Aberystwyth. Despite being two goals down at half time from defensive errors and a penalty, they got back into the game through a Si Green goal on the hour mark. Cardiff were now well and truly on top but, even with their dominance, possession and chances, they failed to equalise and were also unlucky not to have a penalty of their own after Matt Kay was upended in the box. Two late Aber goals, as Cardiff poured forward,
CLUB FOCUS RIFLE CLUB By Richard Collyer The university rifle club is possibly one of the longest running AU clubs, having been founded 39 years ago. The rifle club also have the misfortune of being probably the least understood club in the AU. The reality of target shooting is very different. It is a very technical sport where technique and a bit of luck need to combine to get a good score on the board. It can be a team or individual event where individual scores are tallied to make a team total. This depends on everyone in the team giving it their best.
flattered them. But mistakes at this level are costly and the Men’s Firsts must learn and regroup before their next BUSA f ixture at home to Trinity. ABERYSTWYTH 2nds 3–3 CARDIFF 2nds
A LAST MINUTE Aber equaliser denied Cardiff all three points in this entertaining 3-3 draw. Played in cold, blustery conditions, the Seconds started slowly and saw little of the ball, despite never really being threatened. As the game settled, so the midfield of James Cain, Paul Avery and Tom Morgan grew in stature, dominating long periods and creating good opportunities for strikers Mike Rabjohns and Danny Gunyon. The sucker punch arrived on 25 minutes, as an Aber forward ghosted into the box, planting an excellent header past the motionless Danny Westwood. It was harsh on the Seconds, but they responded in some style. Showing great character, they fought back to go into the break with a 2-1
At the end of every year there is a national meet up in Appleton Rifle Club. This gives us a change to meet the other teams from around the UK. Throughout the year there is a postal competition which allows teams to shoot a comp card and then send it away for marking. This is called the Top 20, and was won last year by UWIC (boo! hiss!). Most competitions are time limited. For indoor competitions you have 15 minutes to sight your rifle, and make 10 scoring shots. Outdoor competitions vary, however - generally 20 to 60 shots per competition. The uni rifle club competes in local events at Tondu and the Welsh Dragon event at Cardiff. We usually do well in each and come away with a handful of trophies. City of Cardiff Rifle Club provide us with an indoor range where the university has its own armoury and storage. Outdoor ranges are used at Tondu,
advantage. Tom Morgan crashed home a header from a Lloyd Godwin corner, and minutes later a Rabjohns free-kick was glanced home by skipper Jon Forbes. The half time break did little to help Cardiff, losing all momentum and surrendering their lead f ive minutes into the second half to an unmarked volley from six yards. As the twists continued, Cardiff looked to have grabbed the points, the lead being restored with 20 minutes remaining. Gunyon swung in a left wing cross to the edge of the box for Rabjohns, nipping in front of the defender, to volley sweetly past the keeper with his devastating left boot. Just as his strike, worthy of winning any game, seemed to have settled it, victory was snatched from them by a strike just inside Westwood’s near post.
Bisley (Surrey) and Sennybridge. The rifles that are used are Anschutz target rifles (German made). They fire a 0.22 (that’s the calibre in inches) bullet that is made of lead. One question we often get asked is "would they kill you?"; the simple answer is yes. The rifle club currently has 45 members, about 10 female, and we
BUSA
ROUND-UP
Results
Wednesday October 22
Men’s Badminton 1sts
6-2
Gloucester
Men’s Squash 2nds
5-0
Glamorgan
Men’s Football 1sts
1-4
Aberystwyth
Men’s Football 2nds
3-3
Aberystwyth
Men’s Football 3rds
3-0
UWIC
Men’s Rugby 1sts
66 - 0
Southampton Institute
Men’s Rugby 2nds
0 - 10
Swansea
Men’s Rugby 3rds
17 - 6
Swansea
Men’s Hockey 1sts
0-1
Gloucester
Men’s Hockey 2nds
1-2
Exeter
Men’s Hockey 3rds
3-5
Aberystwyth
Men’s Tennis
5-0
Swansea
Men’s Basketball
32 - 83
Oxford
Golf
6-0
Southampton
Women’s Football
3-0
Gloucester
Women’s Hockey 1sts
1-4
Bristol
Women’s Hockey 2nds
1-4
Gloucester
Women’s Hockey 3rds
1-1
Swansea
Netball 1sts
28 - 53
Brunel
Netball 2nds
25 - 31
Exeter
Netball 3rds
33 - 40
Bath
Women’s Basketball
37 - 63
Southampton
Women’s Tennis
5-1
Exeter
Women’s Badminton
2-7
Bath
Women’s Volleyball
3-0
Bath
have a good blend of experienced shooters with new freshers. We can cater for all abilities from complete beginner to international superstar. We hold bi-weekly socials, mainly revolving around the George. We then go on for pub golf, Roy World or similar drunkenness. At the moment we have two mem-
bers who are members of the Welsh National Squad, Robert Riddet and Dave Phelps; both currently coach beginners at the club. Overall rifle shooting is a great sport that not many people get a chance to take part in and it is definately a sport with more bang for your buck.
“
I would like to play at the World Cup
”
Georgie Reames November 2003 IMG: Fights, controversy and goals.
Team focus this week, Surf Club
page 35
Issue 748. 1 November 2003 Sport Editors: Riath AlSamarrai, David Williams Email: grsport@cardiff.ac.uk Website: www.gairrhydd.net
page 34
BUSA REVIEW: page 34
COMMENT. Below Page 33
DRUGS BEN JOHNSON, Maradona, Dwain Chambers. Sportsmen who should be chastised for corrupting sport or trailblazers who should be regarded as role models for future generations? I can almost hear the tirade of abuse at such a suggestion as the wrath of all fair minded sportspeople bears down upon me. Picture the reaction at International Olympic Committee Headquarters, where equality seeking supremo Juan Antonio Samaranche had the gall to threaten London’s 2012 Olympic bid if the Football Association did not take vigorous action against Rio Ferdinand. There is one simple way to eliminate the ever-present threat of drugs cheats in sport. Throw away the rule book, cast moral judgements aside and allow sportspeople to behave as adults. Grant them the freedom and autonomy to ply themselves full of whichever cocktail of drugs happens to be in vogue at any given time and observe the results. Armchair sports fans the world over have come to possess a certain scepticism – almost an expectancy – that some of their heroes achieve success through more than natural talent and physical training. Would it not be refreshing to watch an Olympic final in the k n ow l e d g e that everyone is starting on an even
Are they really that bad? John Stanton investigates the darker side of the argument
footing? Is there really such a difference between performanc-enhancing drugs and the multitude of supplements the modern sportsperson consumes on a daily basis? The most successful sportspeople would still almost exclusively be those with the most natural talent. In response to the predictable accusations that this might cause elitism, this simply would not be the case. Granted, drugs cost money but the naturally talented international stars of today already have highly rewarding sponsorship contracts, which would nullify such a problem. The recent spate of positive tests for the banned anabolic steroid Nandrolone demonstrates why such a course of action should be considered. Positive tests for Nandrolone are most commonly found within athletics. British sprinter Linford Christie is perhaps the most high profile sporting personality to have tested positive, yet he is far from alone. Jamaican sprinter Merlene Ottey and British 400m runner Doug Walker have also suf-
fered the same fate, along with Czech tennis star Petr Korda. Whilst our initial collective reaction may be that they should be hung, drawn and quartered for such a heinous violation of sporting morals, let us take a moment to consider the scientific facts. It is believed that Nandrolone is a substance produced naturally by the human body. There is also evidence to show that anyone who has eaten a large quantity of meat contaminated with the substance is particularly susceptible to having high Nandrolone levels. Is it fair that someone is given a life ban from a sport when their only sin may have been to have a few too many portions of Sunday Roast? Whilst there is such a doubt, it cannot be considered acceptable to destroy a person’s livelihood. Sport has long been undermined by the presence of drugs cheats who show cowardice by believing they are above the laws of their sport’s governing body. The Rio Ferdinand saga has proved that drugs testing cannot be entirely effective. Is it not time that we removed the conjecture and made sport an environment in which all have a fair chance of success?
Wales get a pizza the action By James Cooke WALES 27 ITALY 15 WALES ENSURED qualification for the quarter-finals of the Rugby World Cup and can expect the tantalising prospect of England after beating Italy 27-15. A markedly improved performance
saw Wales run in three converted tries, whilst the Italians could only muster five penalties. Restored to full strength, the Welsh defence survived a tentative opening 10 minutes before Mark Jones dived over to complete a move which also involved namesakes Dafydd, Adam and Duncan Jones. A tenacious Italian side had the lion’s share of first half possession, but despite consistent ball retention, they were lack-
ing in penetration. Wales took advantage through some opportunism from Ceri Sweeney, whose 38th minute breach of the Italian defence allowed Sonny Parker to score and Wales to lead 20-9 at half time. The second half brought some of the most intense rugby of the tournament, with Italian pressure refusing to relent, despite this being their second game in
Ospreys snared
ON THE CHARGE: Lee Abdul runs away for another try The Ospreys’ only response to the home side’s onslaught were two penalties from Henson, although a further two were missed. CARDIFF BLUES 43 After the interval the Blues NEATH-SWANSEA OSPREYS 6 found themselves in a tighter match and were pegged back by the visiCARDIFF BLUES destroyed the tors. Although the match was effectable topping Ospreys with a sixtry victory to move into the top tively over, as time drew on Blues fans would have been anxious for half of the Celtic League. The victory was orchestrated by their team to claim the bonus fly-half Nicky Robinson whose run- point. This concern was evident on the ning and kicking were faultless all pitch too as the Blues refused a afternoon. kick at goal in search of a furOlder brother Jamie weighed ther score. in with two tries, but was The chance was missed outdone by winger Lee to a knock-on before Abdul’s four touchNicky Robinson kicked downs. the next penalty to The Blues’ determistretch the lead. nation to play open Any anxieties over the rugby was made apparent Nick Robinson bonus point were allayed in right from the start. Fullstyle as the Blues held onto posback Craig Morgan’s inside run allowed Abdul to cross for his first session brilliantly to dominate the score with just over a minute on the final quarter and run in three further tries. clock. First, Abdul doubled his hall with Robinson made the first of his five conversions in the match, and two more touchdowns, his fourth he was to be involved in creating being set-up by Jamie Robinson both of the Blues’ two subsequent who completed the rout with the sixth score at the death. tries in the first half. The victory has boosted the The second was f inished by brother Jamie before Abdul added a Blues’ prospects as they adjust to third, despite the Ospreys’ man the new regional league, especially advantage after flanker Rob with playmakers Iestyn Harris and Appleyard’s sin-binning for a late Tom Shanklin away on World Cup duty. tackle.
By Owen Griffiths Blues Correspondent
four days. Wales always looked the more likely scorers, but having conceded a couple of Rima Wakarua penalties, Welsh hearts were pounding nervously. Dafydd Jones provided the cutting edge though to crush Azzurri aspirations on the hour mark. His try, converted by Iestyn Harris, completed a powerful forward drive and proved to be the last score of the match, sealing a deserved victory. “Defence won the game tonight,” concluded Italian coach John Kirwan, whose words were justified by the fact that one
particular Italian attack lasted 17 phases without success. Colin Charvis epitomised Wales’ determination to defy the critics and avenge the six nations defeat, leaving Steve Hansen as relieved as he was elated: “This was really good for the boys’ self-respect, confidence and their growth as players.” Wales now face the All Blacks having dropped only two bonus points so far. As clear underdogs, Wales are in a no-lose situation and, if defeated, look set to meet the arch-enemy in the quarter finals.
Television
November 1 2003
Page 27
where’smyfeckingpizza@cf.ac.uk
Thursday 6 November BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Garden Invaders 10.30 House Invaders 11.00 Trading Up 11.30 To Buy or Not to Buy 12.00 Trading Treasures 12.30 Bargain Hunt 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15.25 CBeebies: Fimbles 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 New Scooby and Scrappy Show 16.20 The Story of Tracy Beaker 16.35 Fairly Odd Parents Aren’t they all? 17.00 Byker Grove 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Lyn is caught shoplifting. Edwina tells Taj the truth about Jack. Karl and Susan are at odds over Darcy's trial. 18.00 BBC News 18.30 Wales Today 19.00 Bargain Hunt 19.30 EastEnders The day of reckoning arrives for Martin as Sonia attacks him for his behaviour. Garry talks about the future with Lynne. Kat gets into hot water with Andy. I’d never share a bath with that slapper - I bet she’s got flange like a clown’s pocket. 20.00 Superstars 21.00 Hunting Chris Ryan 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Question Time 23.35 Dragon's Eye 00.05 This Week 00.55 FILM: My Very Best Friend * 02.35 Sign Zone: Design Rules 03.05 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 04.00 Sign Zone: Watchdog 04.30 Joins BBC News 24 News Desk joins me in appreciating Smog’s Cold Blooded Old Times. Great song, but he’s not actually Scottish Pete...
06.00 CBeebies: Angelmouse 06.10 Fireman Sam 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 Fix and Foxi 07.30 Super Rupert 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Blue Peter 08.30 CBeebies: The Story Makers 08.50 Dr Otter 09.00 Tweenies 09.20 Sergeant Stripes 09.30 Fimbles 09.50 Teletubbies 10.20 Aiming for Excellence 10.50 Pod's Mission 11.05 Bobinogs 11.20 Focus Citizenship 11.30 The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 13.00 Golf: Seve Trophy 15.30 Escape to the Country 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air 18.45 Buffy the Vampire Slayer When Dawn, Buffy, Anya and even Willow find themselves head-over-heels in love with a quarterback, Xander and Spike must find out if magic is involved. Lucky bastard.. awesome group sex scenes. 19.30 Counties of Wales: Cardiganshire 20.00 Escape to the Country 21.00 Does Healing Work? Three people suffering from chronic illnesses test the powers of healer Maureen Ramm, while their GP visits a man who claims to be able to cure cancer. 22.00 QI With guests Alan Davies, Jo Brand, Jeremy Hardy and Dave Gorman, who I’m going to see tomorrow. He’s a bit of a legend really. 22.30 Newsnight 23.20 BBC Four on BBC Two: Holidays in the Danger Zone 00.00 BBC Four on BBC Two: Quentin Tarantino talks to Kirsty Wark 00.30 BBC Learning Zone
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 This Morning: Soaps Special 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Engie Benjy 15.30 SpongeBob SquarePants 16.00 Beat the CyBorgs 16.30 That's So Raven 17.00 Boot Sale Treasure Hunt 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News 19.00 Emmerdale 19.30 Fishlock's Wild Tracks 20.00 The Bill Racial tension in Sun Hill reaches boiling point as the force show off their new white hood helmets. 21.00 Holiday Showdown 22.00 ITV News at Ten 22.30 Follow the Fans 23.00 Wales This Week 23.30 The Joy of Decks Series following four unknown DJs as they are guided by Roni Size, Sister Bliss, Tom Middleton and Mr C into life as a working DJ, with a place on a global tour as the prize. Pathetic attempt to bring Pop Idol to the dance scene. And what the flying monkey jizsm is former Jedi Knight and Warp Records legend Tom Middleton doing getting involved? Has he no shame anymore? What next, Aphex Twin presents his own cookery show? Grrr. 00.05 Love Match 00.30 Turn On Terry More porn. 00.55 Dare to Believe 01.20 CD:UK 02.25 The Machine 02.50 Cybernet 03.15 Motorsport UK 03.40 Ghost Stories 04.05 ITV Nightscreen 05.30 ITV Early Morning News
BBC3
ITV2
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Kurt Cobain's Rock Shrine BBC Choice joins America's disillusioned youth outside the Seattle house where Nirvana rock star Kurt Cobain once lived. Been there, seen that, bought the shotgun... 19.30 FightBox 20.00 Liquid News 20.30 What Not to Wear 21.00 India's Ladyboys Documentary following four eunuchs as they attend the annual Koovagam Festival, the biggest eunuch gathering in India. We’ll be sending Sports Desk off to have the chop to cover it. Fetch me the hacksaw. Mwahahahahaha! 22.00 EastEnders 22.30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 23.00 Liquid Assets: Robbie's Millions 00.00 Liquid News
09.25 Coronation Street 09.55 Emmerdale 10.30 Trisha Extra 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.45 Dancing in the Street 18.00 Coronation Street 18.30 Emmerdale Steph decides it is time to kiss and tell by working at A Touch Of Class. 19.00 Jerry Springer 19.50 Chart Choice 20.00 Cruises from Hell 21.00 FILM: Fear ** 22.55 The Frank Skinner Show. 23.45 Jerry Springer 00.35 Late Show with David Letterman 01.25 Felicity 02.15 Teleshopping 03.15 Trisha 04.15 Trisha Extra 04.40 Judge Judy 05.00 Movies Now 05.10 Late Show with David Letterman
India’s Ladyboys BBC3 9.00 pm
The Bill ITV1 8.00 pm
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Ysgolion 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Binca 12.40 Planed Plant Bach: Rhacsyn a'r Goeden Hud 12.50 Planed Plant Bach: Lisabeth 12.55 Planed Plant Bach: Joshua Jones 13.15 Fifteen to One 13.45 Fifteen to One 14.15 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Byd Bach Bedwyr 16.15 Planed Plant: Hotel Eddie 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Wawffactor! 19.00 Wedi 7 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Pobol y Cwm 20.25 Hwyl y Noson Lawen 21.00 Pawb a'i Farn 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Y Sesiwn Hwyr Music from the Pop Factory in Porth, Rhondda. 23.40 Daisy Daisy Daisy Donovan presents a series in which she infiltrates a number of different worlds. In this edition, she investigates the world of the spelling bee. Am I the only person that thinks that Miss Donovan is a dirty little minx that likes nothing better than being tied to the bedposts and rodgered senseless? Ah well, on my own again. 00.10 Scrubs 00.35 Monkey 01.25 Headliners: Travis 01.50 British Rally Championship 2003 02.45 Brazilian Football Championship “SHIT - That was a goal!”, “The goalkeeper has football pie all over his face.”, etc. etc.
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.30 Capital Floyd 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 Charlie's Angels 15.35 FILM: The Games ** 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away 18.30 Family Affairs Eileen is devastated when Mike tells Doug a nasty secret. There’s no shame in being a hermaphrodite Eileen, just look a Riath and Gloria Hunniford. 19.00 five news 19.30 Great Artists 2 with Tim Marlow 20.00 Young Elizabeth 21.00 FILM: Escape to Victory With Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone, Pele, Bobby Moore and Ossie Ardiles. “F*cking Amazing” screams Riath whilst enacting Robbie Keane’s victory celebration. “Stallone’s a twat who should never have scored” proffers TV Steve returning from the dole queue. ** 23.15 Real Sex 00.15 Jonathan Pearce's Football Night 00.55 UEFA Cup Football 02.25 Dutch Football: Ajax v Az Alkmaar 03.55 Argentinian Football: River Plate v Rosario Central 05.15 Argentinian Football Highlights
E4
SKY 1
C4
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating June Sarpong presents an all-new series of the celebrity dating show, as five boys and five girls move into two loft apartments and then through the week date each other. Dave proves unpopular when he gives all the other contestants leprosy. Serves them all right the diseased whores. 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 Joe Millionaire 22.00 Six Feet Under David arrives at a crossroads in his relationship with Keith. Rico finds it hard to find refuge from his domestic demons. 23.05 Queer as Folk 23.45 V Graham Norton 00.25 Hollyoaks 00.55 The Salon 01.25 The Michael Essany Show 01.50 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 02.35 Joe Millionaire
06.00 Dr Phil 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Yu-Gi-Oh! 08.00 Gamezville 09.00 Stargate SG-1 10.00 The X-Files 11.00 Angel 12.00 Dharma and Greg 12.25 Jenny Jones 13.20 Dr Phil 14.15 FILM: Deep Family Secrets ** 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate 19.00 The Simpsons Homer fakes his own death in order to avoid doing a tedious job for Mr Burns. 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 Little Monsters 21.00 Fear Factor 22.00 Football Years The 1989/90 season. 23.00 Naked Angels in Beach Paradise 00.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 01.00 The X-Files 01.50 Angel 02.40 Philly 03.30 Shipmates 03.55 Better Mind Your Bollocks The mind boggles at what this shite might be. I’d avoid if I were you. 04.45 Dirty Money 05.10 Guilty!
As S4C except: 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 4Learning 9.30 Life and Living Processes 3. 9.50 Maths Mansion 3. 10.10 Self Portrait . 10.35 Extra 3: Auf Deutsch. 11.00 The Hoobs. 11.25 The Virtual Body. 11.45 Living and Growing 2. 12.30 Water Stories 12.35 Home Sweet Home 12.50 FILM: Hungry Hill ** 14.45 Fifteen to One 16.00 A Place in the Sun 18.30 Hollyoaks Tony gives Bombhead a chance to prove himself but it blows up in his face... 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.55 Mesh A series of animated films made on Channel 4's digital and interactive animation scheme MESH. 20.00 Tales from River Cottage 20.30 French Leave 21.00 The Queen's Lost Uncle 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Daisy Daisy 23.15 Wife Swap 00.20 Namibia Challenge 01.20 Freesports on 4 01.50 KOTV 02.20 Honda Formula 4Stroke Powerboat Championship
Thursday 6 November
Free Stuff
Page 28
October 25 2003
grcompetitions@cardiff.ac.uk
grab!
“Everyone’s a winner baby, that’s the truth.” Errol Brown
WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN Another week, another load of damn good prizes to get your freezing, flu-ridden mits on. This week we’ve got something to excite all you ladies, with our Miss Selfridge competition, a load more free cinema tickets and if you’re into your dance music, then you’ll get a hard-on about our Tribal Gatherings competition. Plus, there’s still the weekly chance for those of you a bit strapped for cash to live free for a week. To enter any of the competitions on this page, write your answers and details on a postcard, a slip of paper or a fifty pound note, and drop them into the Competitions pigeon-hole in the gair rhydd office, or email them to grcompetitions@cf.ac.uk.
Go Tribal for a weekend If you love dance music you’ll have heard of the Tribal Gathering Weekenders. At a time when the “death of dance music” is the new catchphrase, Tribal continues to prove the doubters wrong time and time again. Over 10,000 people turned up for the Tribal Gathering Warehouse Party on August Bank Holiday weekend, making it without a doubt one of the legendary parties of all time.
The combination of immense talent behind the decks from around the world, superb production rigs of lighting and sound and the truly fantastic Tribalist crowd make the weekends so unique. If you missed the Warehouse Party, fear not, as Tribal Gathering returns for another magical event with their hugely successful Weekender party on November 7-9 2003. Tribal has secured your favourite DJs, including Sasha, Morillo, Sneak, Eron Alkan, Jon Carter, Stanton Warriors, Layo and Bushwacka and many, many more. They’ll be playing extended sets in four arenas: Are You Tribal?, Tribal
Sessions, The Soap Box and Feathers & Facepaint. Tickets for the event are available at www.tribalgathering.co.uk,
or by calling 0161 661 9688 and are priced at £99 each (places can be reserved with a £30 deposit). However, gair rhydd are offering you the chance to win two weekend passes for yourself and a guest. The package includes accommodation for two nights and three days in a fully-equipped self-catering apartment and 48 hours of non-stop Tribalistic mayhem. On-site facilities include shops, restaurants, amusement arcades, an indoor pool and a 24 hour Tribal TV. There’s also a 24 hour alcohol license. Whether you take your partner, mate or grandparent, it’ll be a weekend to remember. A prize this good deserves a lit-
Something for the ladies
Meg gets serious FREE PREVIEW TICKETS!
This week we’re spoiling you with a double whammy of topnotch entertainment courtesy of UGC. Tuesday’s preview screening gives you the chance to see the eagerly awaited new Jane Campion (The Piano) film, In The Cut, starring Meg Ryan in (hold your breath) a serious, edgy role. Like Nicole Kidman did in The Blue Room, Ryan realised that in order to get herself taken seriously as an actress she had to get her kit off. And I don’t hear any complaints. She plays a literature professor who is peripherally involved in a murder investigation, which leads to an
intensely erotic relationship with the investigating detective. But fans of Meg’s usual light family romps, be warned: In The Cut is cold, dark and graphic (I think that’s more of a recommendation than a warning!). The screening is on Tuesday at 6.15 (film starts at 6.30).
Before that though, we’re giving you lot the chance to be critics yourselves, with UGC’s ‘Recommended’ scheme. We invite you and a guest to come along to a screening of a film that won’t be released for a few
Livefree4aweek.net
This week’s winner is Katie Johns, who studies Accounting and Finance at Glamorgan.
tle more effort from your part. We want our gair rhydd representatives to have what it takes to live it up tribal style in the dance party of the year. Basically, we don’t want to risk sending Charles and Mildred in their brown cardigans, taking notes on the ambience on their clipboards, whilst tapping their feet out of beat, then turning in early to proof-read each other’s coursework. No! To win the tickets, we want you to send us photos of your own Dancefloor Mayhem. At the end of the week we’ll judge the best photo. The winner will grab themselves the pair of weekend passes. You can either drop the photos into the Competitions pigeonhole or email them to the usual address (but please compress them, otherwise my inbox will explode).
weeks. The title of the film will remain a total surprise until seconds before the opening credits role. At the end of the film you get the chance to express your opinion freely by filling out a brief questionnaire. If the attendants give the film the thumbs up, the film is awarded the ‘Recommended’ seal of approval, which you will see on the film poster and in the adverts when it is released. The ‘Recommended’ screening is on Monday night at 8.15. We have 20 pairs to give away for each screening and we won’t even make you climb the treacherous stairs of the union to collect your tickets. All you have to do is take a copy of this issue of gair rhydd to the cinema any time before the screenings and they’ll exchange for a pair of tickets. Just remember to say thank-you.
WINNER OF THE WEEK URI GELLAR This week we salute Sir Uri of Geller for being the bestest friend of David Blaine in his time of great need, visiting Blaine’s hunger box 30 times. The fact that Blaine has banned him from hospital visits and dubbed him a desperate publicity seeker is neither here nor there. We still love you Uri.
This week we’ve teamed up with Miss Selfridge to give you a taste of what you can expct to find in the Autumn/Winter range. Here’s a rundown of what’s in store: Sports Hype Sexy quilted silks, voluminous soft outlines and plunging necklines give this luxury sport style a feminine quality. The 80s Clan A return to all things British but with a sexy rocker edge and posh punk feel. Casual streetwear meets 80s glam in an unusual clash of colours, fabrics and styles. Sexy Punk An edgy underground look of urban punk, mixed with night-time glam. Black denim makes a comeback with frayed edges, cut outs and zip detailing, worn with deconstructed tees, biker jackets and pointy boots. Boyfriend A sharp tailored look with an 80s twist of mods and rockers. Styles borrowed from your boyfriend and given a girly edge. Sleek Sixties Clean modern silhouettes return this season with a swinging 60s theme. Sharp and ultra hip with a futuristic edge. High Octane High glamour fused with edgy 80s styling creates this sexy look. Shiny lycra mixed with lace and patent leather gives form to a trashy, slightly dishevelled feel.
You’ve read the press release, now all that stands between you and the chance to win £25 to spend in the store is the following simple question: Which decade has inspired three of this year’s Autumn/Winter collections? Enter in the usual way.
WIN!
Last week’s answers and winners
RESPECT
By folding this page into a hat when you’ve finished reading it, and wearing it around university. As well as looking like a top bomb you’ll also be protected from this damn miserable cold rain (until it gets soggy, when your head will look like a papier mâché balloon).
(Don’t lose faith guys, pick up next week’s gair rhydd for a Topman comp)
POST-MATCH ANALYSIS
Walkers grub - Answer: c. footballer. Winner: Karen Bradley. Have I Got News For You DVD - Answer: nothing to do with prostitutes or drugs like most of you went for. It was simply that all are get their names from meat (Richard Bacon, Angus Deayton, Meatloaf) except Jamie Theakston, who’s named after ale. Winner: Adam Brooks. Stereophonics tickets - Stuart Cable was lurking with the Grumpy Old Men on page 24 of the TV section. Apologies it was so difficult - he was originally in the Welsh football team on the back page, but was mysteriously dropped from the squad at the last minute (by our sports editor). Seeing as no one spotted him, there’ll be another chance to grab the tickets in a future issue. All winners, collect your loot from the gair rhydd office (fourth floor of the Students’ Union)
IMG Sport
October 25 2003
Page 31
grsport@cf.ac.uk
Marines march as Xpresston North End get taken off the air By Beca Murphy IMG Chair Whoopee, it rained! Everyone got soaked and the scorecards were ruined – all in all, it was a good, wet, Wednesday afternoon of sport. Yet again, the elements caused no problems as far as the scores were concerned. Carbs A, Law A and COMSOC all managed to hit the 20s mark, while English Soc, Optometry B and Pharmacy B didn’t make it further than one goal. The Marines stormed their way to
FOOTBALL RESULTS Group A Momed 8 – 2 Optometry Accountancy 0 – 6 Earth Soc. Cathays FC 1 – 4 Law ‘B’ Myg Myg 2 – 1 Economics
Group B AFC History 12 – 0 English Soc. Carbs ‘A’ 4 – 0 Christian Union FC Real 3 – 1 Uni Hallstars Irish FC 5 – 1 Xpresston Northend
Group C Jomec 5 – 1 Accountington Stanley Carbs ‘B’ 2 – 4 Afro-Caribbean Soc. Mathletico Madrid 2 – 0 Planderlecht John Jenkins FC 3 – 2 Bute Park Utd
Group D Chemsoc 5 – 2 Pharm AC Law ‘A’ 7 – 1 Athletico Roy Lokomotiv Engin 6 – 3 Japsoc Gym Gym 3 – 2 The George FC
NETBALL RESULTS Group A C.U. ‘B’ 14 – 5 Optometry Law ‘B’ 14 – 1 English Soc. C.U. ‘C’ 5 – 8 Medics
Group B The Marines 12 – 4 SOCSI C.U. ‘A’ 14 – 1 Optometry ‘B’ Pharmacy – Chemsoc - CANCELLED
Group C Economics 8 – 5 Gym Gym Law ‘A’ 27 – 2 SAWSA Carbs ‘B’ 10 – 1 Pharmacy ‘B’
Group D Xpress Radio 5 – 22 COMSOC Carbs ‘A’ 23 – 7 Christian Union Psychology 16 – 5 Cplan
their first victory of the season. An impressive 12-4 against SOCSI made the girls beam with delight as they handed over their scorecard. A close match was played between Economics and Gym Gym. Each goal Economics won would be matched by the Gym Gym girls, and at half time the score was even at 5-5. The second half of the match was mostly spent in the Economics half circle, with the Gym Gym defence doing most of the work. In the end Economics managed to fight their way ahead with three more goals to claim an 8-5 victory. Over in Pontcanna, Lokomotiv
Engin steamed ahead of JAPSOC with a score of 6-3. In group B Xpresston Northend failed yet again to impress and lost 5-1 against the Irish. Group A never ceases to surprise me. Momed won 8-2 against Optometry, while last year’s Premiership leaders Accountancy lost 6-0 against last year’s third division Earth Soc – what’s going on, boys? And finally, John Jenkins FC managed a win against Bute Park UTD, -2, and I’ll leave you with a dedication from their managers Chris Adams and Jonny Cockerton: “John Jenkins, FC manager, would like to dedicate the
FEATURED MATCH: Earth Soc v Accountancy By John Stanton
Momed v Accountancy Law B v Earth Soc Cathays FC v Economics Myg Myg v Optometry
Entertainment value 8/10
Group B
Earth Soc John Jackson 7, Dan Forder 7, Lee Morgan 7, Tim Sanders 6, Stephen Maricc 8,Richard Pugh 8, Ben Wade 6, Gethyn Gibbons 7, Steve Fincher 9, Chris George 6, Addy Adeleye (capt) 7, Subs: Gareth Barnes 6, Dave White 5, Andy Borrowdough 5,
Carbs A v FC Real English Soc v Uni Hallstars AFC History v Xpresston North End Irish FC v Christian Union
Group C Jomec v Carbs B Bute Park Utd v Afro Caribbean Society John Jenkins v Mathletico Madrid Planderlecht v Accountington Stanley
Group D
Accountancy Matt Brown 6, Lawrence Beach 6, John Stanton 6, Mark Bate (capt) 6, Andy Whitworth 6, Chris Holland 6, Damir Volanovic 6, Rhys Beak 6, Phil Bate 6, Steve Williams 6, Gavin King 6 Subs: Chris Padden 6, Ben Davies 6, John Sudders 6, Tony Carey 6
Reigning IMG champions Accountancy, fielding just one player from their title-winning campaign, were comfor tably beaten 6-0 by an Earth Soc side recording their second consecutive win of the season. Earth Soc followed their 4-1 demolition of Cathays FC with a display of clinical finishing which ensured an unblemished start to the season. Accountancy fell behind early
FOOTBALL WEEK 3 Group A
Pic: Fabio Santos
Earth Soc 6-0 Accountancy
Star Man: Steve Fincher Four good goals helped destroy the champions.
first victory in JJFC’s history to team mate Ross Lovell, who broke his leg in a 50/50 challenge during the game. His presence in midfield will be missed this season.” Very touching and moving, boys. One last thing: thank-you to all who donated towards the Red Cross Disaster fund and made it to lectures in your sports kit for the ‘Get Your Kit On’ campaign. I froze my ass off all day wearing my basketball shorts and looked like a right pleb sat in my recital seminar! Next week’s fixtures are up on the website, so click on to www.cardiffstudents.com to see what’s going on.
Law A v Lokomotiv Engin The George FC v Japsoc Gym Gym v Chemsoc Pharm AC v Athletico Roy
NETBALL WEEK 3 Group A Head to head: but the game wasn’t so close on when a drop kick from goalkeeper John Jackson was allowed to bounce before being headed into an unguarded net by four-goal hero Steve Fincher. Earth Soc added another five minutes before the break when sloppy defending once again proved Accountancy’s undoing, leaving last year’s winners trailing 2-0 at the interval. The game was effectively over within five minutes of the restart
as Earth Soc grabbed two quick goals which put paid to any lingering hopes the Accountants had of mounting a revival. Earth Soc, inspired by a fine performance from captain Addy Adeleye, added two more before the final whistle – including a fine strike from Gareth Barnes – to record a comfortable, although perhaps slightly flattering, 6-0 victory.
Cardiff Uni B v English Soc Law B v Medics Cardiff Uni C v Optometry
Group B The Marines v Chemsoc Cardiff Uni A v Socsi Pharmacy A v Optometry B
Group C Economics v Sawsa Law A v Pharmacy B Carbs B v Gym Gym
Group D Psychology v Xpress Radio Comsoc v Christian Union Carbs A v CPlan
GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS - GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS - GR SP
GR SPORT FOLIO
Moira Howie University Badminton Team By David Williams
CARDIFF’S TRADITION of producing top badminton players appears to be continuing this year. As well as last year’s players of the year, Kate Ridler and Vicky Luke, the badminton side has a captain who is leading a promising women’s team. Originally from near Glasgow,
Moira Howie, 24, is settling into the role of skipper nicely and is quick to give appreciation to those around her: “We’ve got some really good, strong players on the team. Kate and Vicky, who are our top pair, are very good. “We got to the semi-finals of BUSA last year and I think Cardiff
got there the year before.” As a PhD student, Moira, who now resides in Cardiff Bay, originally joined the club as a bit of fun, after graduating from Glasgow University. “I started when I was 10. I played tennis when I was younger. I played badminton when I was about 12. I’d entered a tournament through school and I just took it up. “I only took it up when I moved here to meet people. As I’m doing a PhD, I don’t meet people on my course.” One of the attributes of being a captain, as many football supporters have seen over the years, is to play down the role and focus on the players around them. Moira Howie is no different. “I’m not good enough to take badminton up full-time and I don’t train enough. Kate and Vicky are outstanding players. They both won players of the year at the AU awards
last year. They haven’t lost a game in their group stage before. We can rely on them and we’ve got a very strong team this year.” Despite not being one of the more mainstream sports, badminton has attracted a vast amount of new people this year and, after the Commonwealth Games last year in Manchester, it is enjoying a renaissance. “We’re one of the biggest clubs in the University. We’ve got 200 plus members. You get people that have played a bit at school but you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it. We have a very broad spectrum of standards. We’ve got an awful lot of strong first years coming in.” With major events being held annually in Cardiff, places such as the University and the National Institute of Sport in Sophia Gardens are able to attract a large number of keen badminton players. However, as Moira says, the sport
is one which is best watched live. “They have it on Sky but it’s not something I like watching on television. I prefer to watch it live. You don’t really appreciate it on television.” As well as playing for the University club, Howie also finds time to play for a local side. “I play for Heath Hospital. We play in the Cardiff district league and we get quite a few matches out of that as well.” After recent success for Cardiff ’s badminton teams, this year could see that pattern continue as the BUSA season gets into full swing. Upcoming gair rhydd interviews will include footie ace Gaz Nettleton. Make sure you pick up the next issue to learn more about the legion of sporting superstars scattered around Cardiff University.
Television
November 1 2003
Page 25
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Tuesday 4 November BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Garden Invaders 10.30 House Invaders 11.00 Trading Up 11.30 To Buy or Not to Buy 12.00 Trading Treasures 12.30 Bargain Hunt 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 15.25 CBeebies: Tikkabilla 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Metalheads 16.25 Watch My Chops 16.35 The Queen's Nose 17.00 Byker Grove 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Nina gets offered a tour with Robbie D. Not to be confused with Robbie G, the bassist in arguably the worst band of all time, the child abuse merchants, King Adora. 18.00 BBC News News 18.30 Wales Today 19.00 Watchdog 19.30 EastEnders 20.00 Holby City 21.00 A Life of Grime 21.30 They Think It's All Over 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Week In, Week Out 23.05 Separated at Birth 23.45 Film 2003 with Jonathan Ross Featuring the blockbuster The Matrix Revolutions and the results of a poll to find the worst film of all time. Possible inclusions: Barb Wire, Father Of The Bride Part Two, Batman Forever, The Avengers, Starship Troopers, Pearl Harbour, Waterworld, and the completely awful Space Jam. 00.15 FILM: Citizen X **** 02.00 Sign Zone: SAS Survival Secrets 03.00 Sign Zone: See Hear.
06.00 06.10 Fireman Sam 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 Snailsbury Tales 07.30 Chuck Finn 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Blue Peter 08.30 CBeebies: The Story Makers 08.50 Dr Otter 09.00 Tweenies 09.20 Bob the Builder 09.30 Fimbles 09.50 Teletubbies 10.20 Andy Pandy 10.25 Stingray 10.50 Look and Read 11.10 BBC Primary History: Snapshots 11.30 The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 13.00 Numbertime 13.15 Words and Pictures Plus 13.30 Homeground 14.00 am.pm 15.00 Delia's How to Cook 15.30 Escape to the Country 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 TOTP 2 REM special. I personally rate these MOR drivellers as one of the five worst groups of all time, so I can’t in any way condone the watching of this. Go away. 18.45 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 19.30 Gardeners' World 20.00 What the Industrial Revolution Did For Us 20.30 Days That Shook the World: Romanovs 21.00 The Victoria Cross: For Valour With Jeremy Clarkson for some reason. 22.00 Can't Take It with You 22.30 Newsnight 23.20 Holidays in the Danger Zone Sand a Russian one. 00.00 Profile 00.30 BBC Learning Zone: Open University: Ever Wondered about Food? 01.00 At Home 01.30 My Favourite Things 02.00 Secondary Schools: AZ of Politics D is for Duncan Smith. See also: Dunce, Dull, Dire, Drip, Dickhead and, of course, Deposed.
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 This Morning: Soaps Special 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Engie Benjy 15.30 What about Mimi? 16.00 Jungle Run 16.30 Pirate Islands 17.00 Boot Sale Treasure Hunt 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale Siobhan braces herself as Paul lets Frances and Ronnie in on their heartache. As you would, entering into a rural foursome with people with “heartache”. Elsewhere, Ashley struggles to deal with reaction to his relationship with Louise. “Aaaaargh! It’s gone hard, what do I do with it?!” 19.30 Champions League Live: Manchester United v Rangers The Battle of Britain, so they say, although a lot less interesting. And since United are going to pot, expect the ‘Gers to triumph, even though they both suck. 21.50 Beckham's Body Parts This week; his overactive loins, his defective mind, and his ludicrous metamorphosising haircut. 22.50 ITV News at Ten... fucking fifty. 23.20 Champions League 00.20 FILM: Divided by Hate Drama not starring our Jude and Sadie, but might as well do. *** 01.55 Champions League 03.30 World Football 04.00 ITV Nightscreen 05.30 ITV Early Morning News
Snailsbury Tales BBC2 7.20am
S4C
five
12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Wil Cwac Cwac 12.40 Planed Plant Bach: Pei Pwmpen 13.00 Planed Plant Bach: Dic a Dei a Delyth 13.15 Fifteen to One 13.45 Tales from River Cottage 14.15 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Cawl Potsh 16.25 Planed Plant: Mas Draw 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy With Christopher Lee and Kelly Osbourne. “Hahaha you must burn in eternal damnation inside a big wicker man for landing on our island, intruder!” And also Christopher Lee. 18.00 The Salon 18.30 Friends 19.00 Wedi 7 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Pobol y Cwm 20.25 Wawffactor! Humourously titled Welsh Pop Idol shenanigans with judges including Aled Jones and Owen from Catatonia. Big names a-plenty then. 21.00 Welsh in a Week 21.30 Wife Swap Only for this week, Husband Swap. Will it be any different? Probably not. 22.30 Lifer: Living with Murder 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Cutting Edge 01.15 FILM: Carrington **** 04.00 Ysgolion For want of anything better to say, TV Andy has just put on the phenomenal Losing My Edge by the LCD Soundsystem on in the office. If you can think of anything more glorious, you’re wrong. I was there.
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.30 Capital Floyd 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 Charlie's Angels 15.40 FILM: Range of Motion *** 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.30 Lights, Camera, Accident Pun of the week, with what’s essentially International You’ve Been Framed. With Tony “No, not the skateboard prick” Hawks. 20.00 Dumber and Dumber 2 20.30 Britain's Worst Celebrity Driver With four profession celebrities: Sarah Cawood, Nicholas Parsons, Jeremy Spake and Paul Ross. Answers to TV Desk if you know what any of these people do APART from appear in celebrity ‘specials’. 21.00 CSI: Miami 21.55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22.50 Family Killers: Black Widow - Ohio v Sutorius 23.30 Murder Detectives: Death Behind Bars This week, an insight into RSVP and O’Neill’s, and what happens if you consider asking about the price of orange squash.
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
C4
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Notorious BIG's Rock Shrine That would be a sixty-megaton rock, then. 19.30 FightBox 20.00 Liquid News 20.30 What Not to Wear 21.00 Little Britain 21.30 Monkey Dust 22.00 EastEnders 22.30 Burn It 23.00 Anna in Wonderland: Black Shirts Documentary series in which Anna Nolan, travels the world visiting weird and wonderful people. This edition features the Black Shirts, a men's rights vigilante group based in Melbourne who believe that leaving one's husband should be punishable by death. Their uniform is paramilitary and they use extreme methods to intimidate women, all in the name of the sanctity of marriage. Pricks! Although that goes without saying. 23.30 Vinnie: Surfing USA As bad as it sounds. Vinnie Jones going to the US to learn how to surf for his new movie. Yuck.
09.25 Coronation Street 09.55 Emmerdale 10.30 Trisha Extra 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.50 Ask a Silly Question This week: “Why do I bother doing TV listings when everyone whose house I visit including my own have copies of TV Quick or The Radio Times anyway?” 18.00 Coronation Street 18.30 Champions League Live: Lazio v Chelsea. I hate Chelsea because they are not a football team. 22.00 FILM: Crimson Tide At risk of repeating the oh-so-comical tampon visual joke of a fortnight ago, I won’t talk about this anymore. 00.10 Jerry Springer 00.55 Late Show with David Letterman 01.45 Felicity 02.35 Teleshopping 03.35 Trisha 04.35 Trisha Extra 05.00 Movies Now 05.10 Late Show with David Letterman
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 The West Wing 22.00 Sex and the City 22.35 Daisy Daisy Daisy Donovan presents a series in which she infiltrates a number of different worlds. Although sadly this insipid bint never leaves the real world and fails to return, hence every time you touch solid ground, you’re sharing it with Ms Donovan. Urgh. 23.10 Bo Selecta! Shite. Apparently Avid “Ho ho ho they’re all talking in the same voice!” Merrion is releasing a Christmas single, thus confirming him as 2003’s Ali G flavour of the month. Twat. 23.40 V Graham Norton 00.15 Kingpin 01.10 Hollyoaks 01.40 The Salon 02.10 Smallville: Superman the Early Years Aaa I don’t want to be doing TV tonight, I can’t be bothered. Why’s there so much space to fill up on E4 anyway? It’s just Friends all goddamn day. I recommend you do, however, buy Helman’s Buger Sauce. Yum yum. No seriously...
06.00 Dr Phil 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Yu-Gi-Oh! 08.00 Gamezville 09.00 Stargate SG-1 10.00 The X Files 11.00 Angel 12.00 Dharma and Greg 12.25 Jenny Jones 13.20 Dr Phil 14.15 FILM: Angel Flight Down ** 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation The Enterprise clashes with a Romulan warship while trying to rescue Geordi from a desolate and deadly planet. Way-aye man. 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons 20.00 The Simpsons 20.30 Magic Unmasked 21.30 The Simpsons 22.00 FILM: The Thing I haven’t seen this (obviously, I’m TV John) but having seen a thirty second clip on that Top 100 Scary Moments jive last week, this looks like one of the most sinister, sickening and downright terrifying films ever made. Man in hospital is cut open, his head stretches off and grows legs like a grotesque spider. A future plot for Doctors, you may think. Only much more terrifying. ***** 00.05 Star Trek: The Next Generation 01.00 The X Files 01.50 Angel 02.40 Philly 03.30 Shipmates 03.55 Surviving the Moment of Impact 3
06.00 Ivor the Engine 06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 4Learning 9.30 Jamaica. 9.45 Tales from Wales. 10.00 Drugs. 10.25 Growing Up Gay. Age thirteen; acquire voice. 10.50 Number Crew 2. 11.00 Hoobs. 11.25 Citizen Power. 11.50 National Gallery. 11.55 Tate Modern. 12.30 Cheers 13.00 FILM: Brothers in Law With Richard Attenborough and Ian Carmichael. *** 14.45 Fifteen to One 16.00 A Place in the Sun 19.00 Channel 4 News 19.55 Mesh 21.00 Wife Swap 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Brookside See Pick of the Week. The last episode! I might just watch this, purely because I might as well make the last ever episode, the first I ever bother to watch. 00.20 The Secret Life of Us 01.15 The Secret Life of Us 02.10 Enterprise 02.55 Stargate SG1 03.40 The Invasion Possibly involving the makers of Looko-Look confectionary, currently invading every cafe on the entire university campus. 04.00 4Learning 4.00 The Business. 5.15 Science Bank 2. 05.50 Animated Tales of the World If anyone’s wondering, I’m not actually a vampire, because I bite people during the daytime as well. Just to clarify.
The Thing Sky One 10pm
Tuesday 4 November
Television
November 1 2003
Page 23
tighttrousers@cf.ac.uk
Sunday 2 November BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Breakfast with Frost 10.00 The Heaven and Earth Show 11.00 Countryfile 12.00 The Politics Show 13.00 'Allo 'Allo! 13.25 EastEnders 15.15 Abyss: Live 16.05 Points of View 16.20 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 16.45 Songs of Praise 17.20 Abyss: Live 18.00 BBC News 18.05 Antiques Roadshow A visit to Kendal in the Lake District provides finds including a fossilized piece of Mint Cake... 19.00 Abyss: Live 20.00 Monarch of the Glen 21.00 Silent Witness 22.00 BBC News 22.15 Panorama: Fair Cops? An investigation into police misconduct, including the alleged fabrication of evidence. Bent coppers? Now there’s a concept that’s as fresh as the Moroccan hashish all those Chef Constables are smoking on the sly. Shocking misuse of trust scenes. 22.55 On Show 23.25 Abyss Kate Humble with highlights of the earlier live deep-sea dives. She really is a poor man’s Phillipa Forrester. No Fnarrs here... 00.25 The Sky at Night 00.50 Sign Zone: This Land 01.20 Sign Zone: Panorama 02.00 Joins BBC News 24 Evening kiddiewinkles,TV Andy here still reeling with a hangover from last nights debauchery at Popscene. I vaguely remember dancing like David Brent to Suede with both Music and Film desk and attacking people with a pair of balloons... Could any eye witnesses please try and erase what they saw with mind rubbers...
06.00 CBeebies: Fimbles 06.20 Bill and Ben 06.30 CBBC: Arthur 06.55 TazMania 07.15 Looney Tunes 07.30 Smile 10.30 To the Manor Born 11.00 Sunday Home and Garden 12.30 Sunday Grandstand 12.40 Triathlon: Athens World Cup report 12.50 Moto GP 14.00 Beach Volleyball 14.20 Darts: The World Masters 17.25 Scrum V 18.15 Lesley Garrett: Music in the Park 19.15 What the Romans Did for Us 19.25 Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em 20.00 Top Gear 21.00 Sex Empires: Queens of Porn How the internet has allowed women to become the producers of porn. Yet more filth posing as “proper TV”. The office’s favourite female porn stars tonight are; Sylvia Saint, Nikki Tyler, Shannon Tweed (“I learnt a lot from that woman” says Riath) and Tera Patrick (“a complete natural” says Letters Desk with a sick smile on his face.) 22.00 Coupling 22.30 Gimme Gimme Gimme 23.00 When Killing Is Easy Reporter John Sweeney looks at the death of James Miller, a cameraman and friend of Sweeney's, who was shot dead by an Israeli bullet in Palestine while shining a torch onto a white flag. Easily done if you’ve been programmed to shoot first and ask questions later... 23.50 Red Dwarf Rimmer proposes a novel way for Lister to lose weight - putting him in a plastic box by the Thames...Maybe it’s not so novel after all. 00.20 FILM: The Trench *** 02.00 BBC Learning Zone
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Rugby World Cup 2003: New Zealand v Wales 11.45 My Favourite Hymns 12.45 HTV News and Weather 12.50 Coast to Coast 13.20 Jonathan Dimbleby14.15 Soccer Sunday 14.45 Rugby World Cup 2003 15.45 HTV News and Weather 15.55 All Grown Up! 16.25 FILM: Inspector Gadget ** 17.55 Creature Comforts 18.00 Costa Living A foursome from Wakefield hope to find a derelict villa in an orange grove. Foursome eh... a veritable banquet of cocks I’m sure. 18.30 ITV News; Weather 18.50 New You've Been Framed! They’ve axed Lisa Riley! Perhaps she ate the producer then tried to climb Canary Wharf before being shot down by planes, the big hairy ape. 19.20 Creature Comforts What do starfish think of noise pollution? Can an octopus eat ice creams in strong wind? Do sea anemones enjoy sharing their pool with strangers? 19.30 Coronation Street Fiz drops a bombshell in the middle of Les and Cilla's love nest as she decides to bring a bit of the West Bank to Wheatherfield. 20.00 Heartbeat 21.00 Midsomer Murders 23.00 ITV Weekend News 23.15 Sweet Medicine Andrew announces that he is returning to the US. No I’m not. Lies, damn lies! 00.20 Gay Bishops Political or pornographic? I can’t wait to find out. 01.05 Trisha 02.00 FILM: The Gentle Sex ** 03.30 World Sport 04.00 ITV Nightscreen 05.30 ITV Early Morning News
Abyss:Live BBC1 7.00pm
S4C
five
06.55 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 07.45 Hollyoaks Omnibus 09.15 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd: New Zealand v Wales 11.35 Hollyoaks 12.00 Welsh in a Week 12.30 Yr Wythnos 13.00 G Girls 13.30 Fashion House 14.35 Stargate SG-1 15.30 Enterprise 16.25 Xtra Omnibws 17.25 Newyddion 17.35 Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 19.30 Cwpan Rygbi'r Byd Highlights from Wales's match against New Zealand and England's game with Uruguay. 20.30 Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 21.00 Gwyl Gerdd Dant Aberystwyth a'r Clych 2003 21.30 Syr Goronwy Documentary about S4C's first Chairman, the late Sir Goronwy Daniel, who died this year. Before his return to Wales in 1964 as head of the Welsh Office, Sir Goronwy was an influential civil servant in Whitehall, was appointed Principal of Aberystwyth University in 1969 and was a prominent campaigner for a Welsh-language TV channel in the 1970s. This is the cockmuncher to blame for S4C then... 22.00 Newyddion 22.15 FILM: Dogma *** 00.35 FILM: American History X **** 02.45 FILM: Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown **** Three great films in a row, S4C you are spoiling us... Watch or video ‘em all. 04.20 Thug Life: The Crisis Facing Young Black Men
06.00 Russell Grant's Postcards 06.10 WideWorld 06.35 Dappledown Farm 06.55 Tickle, Patch and Friends 07.25 Milkshake! 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 09.00 Babar 09.25 George Shrinks 09.55 Snobs 10.30 Michaela's Wild Challenge 11.00 Morris 2274 11.30 Braceface 12.00 Stepping Up 12.35 Flaunt Chart Show 13.05 five news update 13.15 FILM: A Gathering of Eagles *** 15.25 At Home with the Eubanks 15.55 Dream Holiday Home 16.25 Britain's Worst Driver 17.00 five news and sport 17.20 FILM: Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach * Not worth the celluloid it was filmed on. 19.00 Robot Wars Another BBC2 defection. What next? Buzzocks on five? And will BBC2 show “Strippers with Huge Breasts and Baby Oil III” in return? 20.00 The Greatest Magic Tricks in the Universe... Ever 21.00 Diana: The Night She Died What do Diana and the Queen Mother have in common? They both died approaching 101.... 22.00 FILM: Consenting Adults After a sensistive biography, the return of the softcore oyster action. ** 00.00 World's Wildest Police Videos 00.55 NFL Live: Minnesota Vikings v Green Bay Packers 04.30 Major League Soccer: Chicago Fire v Columbus Crew
BBC3
ITV2
E4
SKY 1
C4
19.00 Pyramid 20.00 Liquid Assets: Jacko's Millions Contributors include Jackson's first business manager, Bubbles the chimp, record producers and childhood friends. 21.00 What Not to Wear Series in which fashion journalists Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine set out to prove that all women can look stylish, whatever their shape, height or age. Unless they’re Ann Widdecombe 21.30 Little Britain 22.00 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 22.30 Burn It Carl and Andy organise a lads' night out, with far-reaching consequences. Did they invite Mr Tickle then? 23.00 Absolutely Fabulous 23.30 Casino 00.30 Love for Sale 01.00 Celebdaq 01.30 Art and the City 02.00 Vinnie 02.30 Liquid Assets: Jacko's Millions Feltchspoon. 03.25 Love for Sale
07.10 Rugby World Cup 2003: England v Uruguay 09.25 The Premiership 10.30 Pop Idol 11.45 Pop Idol Results 12.15 Pop Idol Extra - The Results 12.45 Great Escapes 13.20 Emmerdale Omnibus 16.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 England v Uruguay and New Zealand v Wales. 20.00 Pop Idol 21.15 Pop Idol Extra 22.30 Pop Idol Results 23.00 Pop Idol Extra - The Results 23.30 Coronation Street 00.00 Cold Feet 01.00 The Frank Skinner Show 01.50 Beggars and Choosers 02.50Teleshopping 03.50 Ant and Dec's Banged Up with Beadle 04.15 Ant and Dec's Banged Up with Beadle 05.05 Trisha There’s nothing at all interesting I can say about this channel. No wonder it’s being sold off.
10.00 The Salon Live 19.00 The Salon: Reappointment 20.00 The West Wing Preparations for the Presidential inauguration continue as the White House moves closer to military action. 21.00 Dawson's Creek 22.00 Six Feet Under The funeral parlour is brimming over with activity and mourners following a trio of unrelated deaths. Nate anxiously awaits Lisa's return. 23.05 Joe Millionaire 00.05 Little Friends 00.35 The West Wing 01.25 Dawson's Creek 02.15 Six Feet Under 03.05 Little Friends Second Chance Sunday might be a good idea for viewers of TV but it’s f*cking purgatory to try and write about. Thank God Tristan and Riath have started fighting each other. Apparently Riath texted our editor’s Dad telling him to “wear tighter trousers”. Now Tristan is telling Riath’s mum how he went to a brothel and asked to be spanked like a baby. Happy days...
06.00 Hour of Power 07.00 Pokemon Master Quest 07.30 Pokemon Advanced 08.00 Pokemon Advanced 08.30 Pokemon Advanced 09.00 Pokemon Advanced 09.30 Pokemon Advanced Do you think they’ve run out of programming ideas? 10.00 WWE Afterburn 11.00 WWE Heat 12.00 King of the Hill 12.30 King of the Hill 13.00 Gamezville 14.00 Malcolm in the Middle 15.00 Jack and the Beanstalk 17.00 Little Monsters 18.00 The Simpsons 18.30 The Simpsons While a British filmmaker (Eric Idle) makes a documentary about Springfield Elementary, Lisa tries to save the night sky. 19.00 Malcolm in the Middle Lois imagines what life would be like if her boys were girls. 19.30 Malcolm in the Middle 20.00 Dream Team 21.00 Kirsty's Home Videos 22.00 Is Harry on the Boat? 23.00 The Villa 00.00 Uncut! Uncut! Kirsty's Home Videos 00.30 Z-List Behaving Badly 01.30 Naked in Blackpool 02.25 Is Harry on the Boat?
As S4C except: 06.05 The Clangers 06.15 The Hoobs 06.40 The Hoobs Tula's having a `ten' day - where everything has something to do with the number 10. Including vibrators and orgasms. 07.05 Insektors 07.20 Bug Alert! 07.45 The Kids from Room 402 08.30 Spider-Man 09.00 T4: Smash Hits Chart. 09.30 T4: Popworld 10.25 T4: Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.25 T4: G Girls 13.00 T4: Fashion House 14.05 T4: Friends 14.40 T4: Will and Grace 15.10 Scrubs 15.45 T4: Andromeda 16.40 T4: Stargate SG-1 17.35 Scrapheap Challenge 18.35 Enterprise 19.30 Channel 4 News 20.00 The Theory of Everything: Einstein's Dream 21.00 FILM: Final Destination *** 22.50 The Real Blair Witch 23.50 FILM: Audition Terrifying and disturbing essential viewing *** 01.55 V Graham Norton: Look Back 02.20 FILM:Night of The Hunter **** 04.30 Initiation of Sam 04.35 Jesus Comes to London 05.20 Countdown
Gay Bishops ITV1 0.20am
Sunday 2 November
Television
Page 22
October 25 2003
grtelevision@cf.ac.uk
Monday 27 October BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
06.00 Breakfast 09.00 Kilroy 10.00 Family Xchange 10.45 Bargain Hunt 11.00 Joins BBC News 24 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Trading Up 12.30 Trading Treasures 13.00 BBC News; Weather 13.30 Regional News and Weather 13.40 Neighbours 14.05 Doctors 14.35 Murder, She Wrote 15.20 BBC News; Weather; 15.25 CBeebies: Boo! 15.35 Bob the Builder 15.45 CBBC: Arthur 16.10 Metalheads 16.25 Eureka TV 16.40 Jackie Chan Adventures 17.00 Blue Peter Liz Barker and Matt Baker take a trip down the biggest river in the world, the Amazon. Evidently the Nile had dried up or something that weekend. 17.25 Newsround 17.35 Neighbours Lyn goes shoplifting. 18.00 BBC News 18.30 Wales Today 19.00 Holiday 2004 This week, the staff employed to remind BBC staff what year we’re in visit a country several thousand miles away. 19.30 X Ray 20.00 EastEnders PLEASE will they stop the Lisa/Phil/Den/Dennis story. For god’s sake. You wouldn’t regurgitate food like this. 20.30 Changing Rooms 21.00 Looking for Victoria 22.00 BBC News 22.30 Regional News and Weather 22.35 Hot Pursuit 23.35 Ramadan: Me and Uncle Sam 00.05 FILM: Carry On Girls *** “Great” British comedy. 01.35 Sign Zone: The Blue Planet 02.25 Sign Zone: A Life of Grime 02.55 Sign Zone: Auction Man 03.25 Sign Zone: Time Flyers 03.55 Joins BBC News 24
06.00 CBeebies: Spot's Musical Adventures 06.10 Brum 06.20 Fimbles 06.40 Tweenies 07.00 CBBC: ChuckleVision 07.20 Rotten Ralph 07.30 I Love Mummy 08.00 Newsround 08.05 Bring It On 08.30 So Little Time 08.55 Fairly Odd Parents 09.20 Really Wild Show 09.45 Arthur 10.00 CBeebies: The Story Makers 10.20 Tweenies 10.40 Wide Eye 10.50 William's Wish Wellingtons 11.00 FILM: Intrigue ** 12.30 Working Lunch 13.00 FILM: Contraband ** 14.30 War Walks 15.00 Country House 15.30 Flog It! 16.30 Ready Steady Cook 17.15 Weakest Link 18.00 The Simpsons 18.20 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air 18.45 Star Trek: The Next Generation 19.30 Landscape Mysteries: Secrets of the Flood 20.00 Mastermind Specialist subjects include 80s pop this week. So questions about the Thompson Twins and Genesis aren’t dumbing down Mastermind or anything. 20.30 University Challenge 21.00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 21.30 Dead Ringers 22.00 Early Doors 22.30 Newsnight With Kirsty Wark. 23.20 BBC Four on BBC Two: Kathleen Ferrier: An Ordinary Diva 00.30 BBC Learning Zone: Open University: The Trouble with Love 01.00 Ever Wondered? 01.30 Open Advice - Study to Succeed 02.00 Secondary Schools Religious Education: KS3 Curriculum Bites 04.00 Languages: Espana Viva 3-4 05.00 Switched on: Which Computer? Not this one.
06.00 GMTV 09.25 Pirate Islands 09.55 Seriously Weird 10.25 ITV News Headlines; Local News and Weather 10.30 Trisha 11.30 This Morning 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 13.00 Today with Des and Mel 14.00 Love 2 Shop 14.30 Moving Day 15.00 HTV News and Weather 15.15 Meg and Mog 15.20 Hilltop Hospital 15.30 The Flintstones 16.00 All Grown Up! 16.30 My Parents Are Aliens 17.00 I'm the Answer 17.30 I Want That House 18.00 HTV News and Weather 18.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 19.00 Emmerdale Robert is mortified when a tell-tale bruise exposes him as a scheming liar. “No no no she was naked and fell over ONTO my penis.” 19.30 Coronation Street 20.00 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 20.30 Coronation Street 21.00 Family “Crap Sopranos” more like. 22.00 ITV News at Ten 22.30 The Frank Skinner Show 23.20 Rugby World Cup 2003 00.20 The Premiership on Monday 01.15 Champions League Weekly 01.40 Football League Extra 02.20 Today with Des and Mel 03.10 Now and Again I’ve lost track of this now, but I used to watch it late last year when it was on after Night And Day. Strangely compelling, and completely ridiculous bionic-man style sci-fi drama with a seriously ugly child in it. 03.55 Entertainment Now! 04.20 Tonight with Trevor McDonald
BBC 3
ITV 2
19.00 The 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19.15 Elvis' Rock Shrine A documentary about the stinking festering rotting corpsecontainer in which the intensely decayed body of the most over-popular overexposed excuse for celebrity existence the 20th century produced, and is obviously a cynical tie-in with the new Best Of released this week. 19.30 Fightbox Trevor 20.00 Liquid News 20.30 What Not to Wear 21.00 Burn It 21.30 Terri McIntyre 22.00 EastEnders 22.30 Little Britain 23.00 Grass 23.30 They Think It's All Over 00.00 Liquid News 00.30 Fightbox 01.00 Little Britain 01.30 Get Staffed 02.00 CCTV 02.30 The Third Degree 03.00 Liquid News
08.15 Rugby World Cup 2003 10.40 Planet's Funniest Animals 11.00 Sally Jessy Raphael 11.50 Judge Judy 12.40 Coronation Street 13.10 Emmerdale 13.40 Trisha 14.45 Trisha Extra 15.15 The John Walsh Show 16.05 Sally Jessy Raphael 16.55 Judge Judy 17.45 Confessions 18.00 Coronation Street 18.30 Emmerdale 19.00 Rugby World Cup 2003 With Jim “The Nose” Rosenthal. 20.00 Planet's Funniest Animals 21.00 Men in Tights 22.00 Million Dollar Babes 22.30 Coronation Street 23.35 Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned 00.00 Jerry Springer 00.50 Late Show with David Letterman 01.40 Felicity 02.30 Teleshopping 03.30 Trisha 04.45 Judge Judy 05.05 Chart Choice 05.10 Late Show with David Letterman
The Wicker Man C4 1.05am
Shooting The Loaded Calendar five 10.50pm
S4C
five
06.05 The Hoobs 06.30 The Hoobs 06.55 RI:SE 09.00 Dennis a Dannedd 10.00 FILM: Jacqueline ** 11.40 Water Stories 11.50 Water Stories 12.00 News at Noon 12.30 Planed Plant Bach: Ribidires 12.45 Planed Plant Bach: Caleb 12.50 Planed Plant Bach: Mr Men and Little Miss 13.00 Planed Plant Bach: Bibi 13.15 Tony Robinson's Romans 14.15 Home from Home 14.45 A Place in the Sun 15.15 Countdown 16.00 Planed Plant: Troeon Tristan 16.25 Planed Plant: Uned 5 16.50 Planed Plant: Ffeil 17.00 Richard and Judy 18.00 The Salon Finish please! I’m sick of struggling for things to say about it. 18.30 Xtra Completely awful Welsh Hollyoaks-esque fodder only with less murders, less Tony, and less suicidal Travis fans, if any of them are still in Hollyoaks. 19.00 Wedi 7 News 19.30 Newyddion 20.00 Yr Ocsiwniar 20.30 Ffermio Or “that farming program nobody watches because of its very limited target audience”. 21.00 Pobol y Cwm 21.30 Sgorio 22.35 Teachers 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Solomon: The Escape Artist 01.15 Will and Grace 01.40 Speed Machines 02.40 FILM: Angel Heart Alan Parker film involving voodoo, southern state crooners, and mysterious hitmen. Sounds interesting. But almost certainly won’t be, despite the star rating. ****
06.00 Sunrise 06.30 A House That's Just like Yours 06.55 Hi-5 07.30 Make Way for Noddy 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 08.30 Rolie Polie Olie 08.55 MechaNick 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.20 Softies 09.25 Don't Blame the Koalas 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Terry and Gaby Show 12.00 five news at noon 12.30 Home and Away 13.00 Family Affairs 13.30 BrainTeaser 14.35 Charlie's Angels 15.35 FILM: Too Many Suspects *** 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away Leah puts the gym's future in jeopardy. And so forth. 18.30 Family Affairs Geri is shocked to discover the identity of Yasmin's husband. It’s the masked magician. 19.00 five news 19.30 World's Greatest Bridges Dull documentary about bridges. 20.00 Building the Ultimate Dull documentary about submarines. 20.30 Fifth Gear Literally, Top Gear with a different name. This week with a trip to the MoD motor show. 21.00 FILM: Storm * 22.50 Shooting the Loaded Calender See pick of the week. 23.55 Real Sex 00.40 NFL Update 01.20 US PGA Golf: Funai Classic 02.10 Seniors Golf: Estoril Seniors Tour Championship 03.00 NASCAR Busch Series Motor Racing
E4
SKY 1
C4
10.00 The Salon Live 17.00 Friends 17.30 Friends 18.00 Celebrity Five Go Dating 18.30 The Salon Live 19.00 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 20.00 Friends 20.30 Friends 21.00 Dawson's Creek 22.00 Sex and the City 22.30 Little Friends 23.00 Porn: A Family Business: Reunion A ten-part documentary chronicling the life of porn producer and director Adam Glasser. In this edition, Glasser attends a high school reunion and wonders whether his former classmates will find him desirable or repulsive. Hmmm... I f--king wonder. Apologies porn fans, but anyone c--t with a brain in his head wouldn’t “desire” the sort of slime who produce, direct, or indeed watch, such sexless drivel. 23.35 V Graham Norton 00.15 Hollyoaks 00.45 The Salon 01.15 Smallville: Superman the Early Years
06.00 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 07.00 Transformers: Armada 07.30 Pokemon Advanced 08.00 Pokemon Advanced 08.30 The Simpsons 09.00 Gamezville 10.00 World Wrestling Entertainment Smackdown 12.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 13.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 14.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 15.00 Beverly Hills, 90210 16.00 Gamezville 17.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 18.00 Stargate SG-1 19.00 The Simpsons 19.30 The Simpsons Halloween special. 20.00 Stargate SG-1 21.00 The Posh and Becks Years: 2002-2003 22.00 Frank Bruno: Laid Bare Not literally. 23.00 Uncut! Kirsty's Home Videos 23.30 South Park 00.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation 01.00 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 01.50 Buffy the Vampire Slayer 02.40 Philly 03.30 Shipmates 03.55 British Tribes
As S4C except: 09.00 Bewitched 09.30 Roseanne 10.00 Ed 10.55 Judging Amy 11.45 In Your Face 12.30 Cheers 13.00 Exposed: The Baby Photographer 13.10 FILM: Niagara **** 14.45 Fifteen to One 15.15 Countdown 16.00 A Place in the Sun 18.30 Hollyoaks 19.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 19.55 The Rory Peck Awards 2003 20.00 Speed Machines:. 21.00 Lifer: Living with Murder 22.00 V Graham Norton 22.40 Shriek Week FILM: Bram Stoker's Dracula *** 01.05 Shriek Week FILM: The Wicker Man **** YES. A good film, on television. Don’t do anything stupid like not watch it, or forget to ask your eternally unreliable flatmate to video it while you go for drinks and giggles in Creation because nobody will like you for it. And you won’t know anything about the salmon of knowledge. 03.00 Shriek Week Burnt Offering: The Cult of the Wicker Man
Monday 27 October
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0
STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFFICER The SWD Officer is here to represent students with disabilities and help with any problems they may encounter, as well as organising awareness campaigns about related issues. In the past, these have included Disability Awareness Weeks, talks on disability issues, and lobbying for improved services and access. CANDIDATES
PROPOSED
SECONDED
Sarah Rennie Rachel Hughes
Tanvi Vyas Stephanie Rhymes
Laura Skuse Anna Thomas
Or RON (Re - Open Nominations)
STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFFICER RACHEL HUGHES Why should you vote for me? • As a student with a disability I understand the problems faced by students with disabilities - I’ve been there myself. • I will do everything I possibly can to help solve problems that students with disabilities face. • I will work with the university to try to improve disability provision. • I’ll make the voice of students heard. • And the biggest reason of all…because I CARE!
COMMITTED - APPROACHABLE -THERE FOR YOU
Students with Disabilities Officer
VOTE SARAH
• A lifetime of experience - a permanent wheelchair user. • Volunteer for disability advice line. • Mentoring Adults/Children with learning difficulties. • Everybody deserves a voice • I am approachable, compassionate, understanding and experienced • I am determined to champion the rights of disabled students.
FIGHTING FOR FAIRNESS
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0
POSTGRADUATE OFFICER The Postgraduate Students Officer is a new role created to ensure that the thousand of Postgraduate students at Cardiff have full representation. They also Chair for the Postgraduate Students Representative Committee (PGSRC) and maintain close ties with the Graduate Centre. CANDIDATES
PROPOSED
SECONDED
Nitin Garg Ngwu Franklin
Tushar Choraria Ufuk Secgin
Gaurav Giupta Erika Sotoz
Or RON (Re - Open Nominations)
POSTGRADUATE OFFICER T
k n i h
Nitin Garg
Vo te
(Tintin)
! Lived for 3 years in Cardiff as an undergraduate and quite familiar with the problems faced by the students in University. ! Want to work for the benefit of the postgraduate students so as to entitle them for more facilities. ! Campaign for the reduction in the fees for postgraduate study for international students. ! Effectively communicate with the postgraduate students and voice their concerns before higher authorities. ! Organise socio-cultural events for postgraduate students to help them meet each other
!IF YOU THINK VOTING FOR ME IS WRONG, THEN YOU DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT! EMEKA FRANKLIN AS POSTGRADUATE OFFICER ! ENSURE THAT UNDERGRADUATES UNDERSTAND THE OPPORTUNITIES TO STUDY POSTGRADUATE COURSES ! MOST POSTGRADS ARE INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS SO A COMMITTEE SHOULD BE SET UP TO DISCUSS RELEVANT MATTERS ! ENSURE MORE COMMUNICATION BETWEEN UNDERGRADUATES AND POSTGRADUATES ! LIAISE WITH ALL RELEVANT PEOPLE TO IMPROVE THINGS – HOUSING, TRANSPORT, SOCIALISING etc. ! CREATE OPPORTUNITIES WITH WORK EXPERIENCE,. PLACEMENTS etc. ! REPRESENT POSTGRADUATES IN ALL ASPECTS OF UNION LIFE ! CREATE SOCIAL AND ACADEMIC LINKS WILL POSTGRADUATES FROM OTHER INSTITUTIONS
EMEKA FRANKLIN: CAMPAIGNING FOR POSITIVE CHANGE
Taf-Od
1 Tachwedd 2003
Tud 13
tafod@cf.ac.uk
Learn and Live Dysgu Byw Some vital phrases to get the Welsh language virgin started! Gair neu ddau i helpu’r rhai ansicr eu taf-od yn y Gymraeg! Sometimes, I think why bother, but then sometimes I don’t know why I bother to think. Weithiau, byddaf yn meddwl pam trafferthu, ond wedyn byddaf yn meddwl pam trafferthu meddwl o gwbl. Excuse me, young chap, I seem to have lost my ears, although they are unusally large... Esgusoda fi, gyfaill ifanc, mae’n ymddangos bod fy nhglustiau ar goll, er eu bod hwy’n rhai hynod o fawr...
Gwefan yn Galw! Angen Meistr y We newydd i wefan Gymraeg neu i fynd at Y Gym Gym eu hunain. Wrth reswm, dylai fod gan y person hwnnw rywfaint o grebwyll cyfrifiadurol, ond mi fyddai Aled yn barod i’w rhoi nhw ar ben ffordd. Gobeithio felly y daw rhywun i sefyll yn y bwlch, fel bod gwaith amhrisiadwy Aled yn sefyll yn brawf i’r oesoedd a ddêl, ac yn adloniant i bawb yng Nghaerdydd yn y fargen.
Aled ‘Jeek’ Jones - angen olynydd
thydi ymdrechion Aberystwyth a Bangor i’w hefelychu yn haeddu dim ond ffit o chwerthin. Eleni, fodd bynnag, mae’r wefan wedi bod yn segur ac mae angen diweddaru’r holl wybodaeth sydd arni. Y rheswm syml am y diffyg gweithgaredd yw’r ffaith fod Meistr y We wedi gadael – felly mae angen un newydd! Ffrwyth llafur Aled ‘Jeek’ Jones oedd www.ygymgym.com, a dros ei flynyddoedd yn y coleg fe ddatblygodd y wefan i fod yn un boblogaidd tu hwnt. Roedd hi’n ffynhonnell werthfawr a chynhwysfawr o wybodaeth, newyddion, lluniau a thynnu coes. Mae yna hyd yn oed ochr Saesneg ar gael. Mae’r tudalennau yn cynnwys tudalen newyddion a gwybodaeth, Gwobrau’r Wythnos, Dyfyniadau Clasurol, Clecs, Bwrdd Trafod a Chysylltiadau Defnyddiol. Mae hyn heb anghofio’r Oriel (sy’n llawn lluniau, yn amlwg), a’r Bwrdd Negeseuon sydd wedi gweld mwy na’i siâr o...‘negeseuon’. "Mae hi’n drist nad oes yna neb efo diddordeb yn swydd Meistr y We eleni" meddai Aled ‘Jeek’ Jones. "Ar brydiau byddaf yn mynd yn ddagreuol ynghylch y peth." Er bod y wefan yn dal i redeg, mae Taf-Od yn apelio ar unrhyw un sydd efo diddordeb i gysylltu â ni,
merch fach or-gynhyrfus. Gruff Rhys ydi un o’r ffigyrau mwyaf enigmataidd ar lwyfan i Gymru ei gynhyrchu ers tro byd. Heno, yn berchen ar wallt sy’n gorchymyn parch, mae ar ei orau. Mae pob nodyn yn berffaith, pob lyrig â’i le – mae hyd yn oed y siarad rhwng y caneuon yn ddoniol. Adlewyrcha natur y set hyder y band yn eu caneuon mwyaf diweddar. Ceir dim sôn am ganeuon Fuzzy Logic na Mwng; prin yw’r cyfraniadau o Radiator, Guerilla a Rings Around the World, a chwaraeir dim ond un b-side (yr hollol wych ‘Calimero’, a’r unig gân Gymraeg iddynt berfformio). Heno, tro caneuon Phantom Power ydi hi i serennu – a does dim byd yn bod ar hynny. Caiff y caneuon newydd eu cyfarch gyda’r un brwdfrydedd â’r hen glasuron. Saif ‘Golden Retriever’, ‘Hello Sunshine’ a’r ‘Piccalo Snare’ yn gydradd â ‘Demons’ neu ‘Do or Die’. Dangosir dawn ysgrifennu a chrefft gerddorol syfrdanol i fand sydd rwan dros eu deg oed. Mae’r ffaith eu bod yn gallu cynnal bron i gyngerdd gyfan ar ddeunydd ffres, newydd, yn arwyddocaol o fand mewn iechyd anghredadwy. Daw uchafbwyntiau o bob rhan o’r set. Cawn fersiwn byw prin o ‘Hermann Loves Pauline’, tra daw ‘Run! Christian! Run!’ i orffeniad hollol hyfryd. Gwelir Gruff Rhys yn brathu bwnsiad o seleri yn ystod ‘Receptable for the Respectable’ a lleisir teyrnged i Elliot Smith cyn chwarae ‘Liberty Belle’ – un o bwyntiau mwyaf teimladwy ac emosiynol y noson. Daw’r sioe i ben gyda dwy o’u caneuon trymaf. Saif ‘Out of Control’ ymysg rhai o’r caneuon blinaf i’r Furries erioed ysgrifennu, a heno mae’r gân yn fwy trwm, chwerw a
Y Super Furry Animals: ‘syfrdanol... gwyllt nag y bu erioed. Wrth i’r gân ddiflannu ymysg mur o swn a chlecian gitâr, clywir llais y digrifwr Bill Hicks yn ailadrodd drosodd a throsodd ‘All governments are liars and murderers!’ wrth i luniau George Bush Jr a Tony Blair fflachio ar y sgrîn. Welwch chi mo Maharishi yn gwneud hyn. Daw pinacl y sioe gyda’r perfformiad anochel o ‘The Man Don’t Give a Fuck’ – cân olaf pob set fyw y Super Furries ers oes pys. Wrth i’r gân suddo mewn i gymysgedd o sampliau a sgrechiadau electronaidd – sy’n parhau am oleia deg munud – nid yw’r dorf yma ym Manceinion yn symud modfedd. Cawn ein gwobrwyo wrth i’r band ail-gymryd y llwyfan (i gerddoriaeth y sioe Jesus Christ Superstar), y tro yma wedi’u gwisgo fel yetis, er mwyn rhoi un cytgan arall. Os oedd angen perswadio rhywun am wir dalent ac unigrwydd y Super
ymysg rhai o fandiau gore’r byd...’ Furry Animals, roedd heno yn dystiolaeth heb ei hail. Anodd yw meddwl am fand arall yn y byd heddiw sy’n parhau i fyrlymu â syniadau, hiwmor, dewrder a chaneuon o’r safon uchaf. Tra bo Bono a Chris Martin yn brysur yn achub y byd, a thra mae Thom Yorke yn parhau i wrthod ysgrifennu cân o gynnwys geiriol emosiynol glir, saif Gruff Rhys a’r Super Furries fel un o fandiau mwyaf creadigol, doniol a phwysig ein cenhedlaeth. Mewn byd lle mae’n bosib i wleidyddion fynd â ni i ryfel am resymau amcan, mewn byd lle y gall actor Awstraidd o Hollywood gymryd cyfrifoldeb dros y bumed economi fwyaf ar y blaned, ac mewn byd lle y mae’n bosib i Robbie Williams lwyfannu a gwerthu allan y gyngerdd fwyaf yn hanes cerddoriaeth gyfoes Prydain, diolch i Dduw, i Buddha, ac i Mohammed am y Super Furry Animals.
Gan Gwilym Clwyd Mae’r unig wefan Gymraeg i fyfyrwyr Caerdydd mewn peryg o ddiflannu i ebargofiant os na fydd rhywun yn gallu cymryd gofal ohoni cyn bo hir. Er nad cynrychioli llais Y Gym Gym yw pwrpas Taf-Od, mae www.ygymgym.com wedi cyfrannu’n sylweddol at fywyd Cymraeg yn y coleg dros y ddwy flynedd diwethaf. Does dim dwywaith ei bod hi ben ac ysgwydd uwchlaw pob gwefan debyg yng Nghymru, a
Your majesty, I have bad news. One of your corgies has contracted rabies. Eich mawrhydi, mae newyddion drwg gen i. Mae un o’ch corgis wedi datblygu rabis.
Y Ddawns Ryng-Gol Mae’r tymor wedi hedfan ac mae hi eisoes bron yn adeg y Ddawns RyngGol yn Aberystwyth. Mae hi’n cael ei chynnal eleni ar benwythnos Tachwedd 14 ac 15 (noson gêm Rwsia v Cymru, i roi mwy o gyffro!). Yn gorffen y gig ar y nos Sadwrn mi fydd Estella a Kentucky AFC. Am fanylion bysiau a thocynnau, ewch i weld y Gym Gym yn 14 Cogan Terrace neu cysylltwch efo Anna Gruffydd, y Swyddog Materion Cymreig yn yr Undeb.
Yn Eisiau (ii): Cyfranwyr!
Ydach chi’n gallu neu yn hoffi sgwennu? Mi hoffai Taf-Od apelio unwaith eto ar unrhyw un sy’n awyddus i gyfrannu i wneud hynny ar bob cyfri’. Mae’r sgwenwyr wedi bod yn brin hyd yma ac os bydd pethau’n parhau fel hyn mae’n beryg y bydd yn rhaid i ni gael Geraint Edwards yn ei ôl (Jôc, Ger!) Beth bynnag, anfonwch unrhyw gyfraniadau i’r cyfeiriad e-bost ar y top. Sgwennwch beth bynnag sy’n mynd â’ch ffansi. Does yna ddim terfynau na phendraw i’r hyn gaiff ei dderbyn - y gorau po fwyaf y cawn ni. Felly codwch oddi ar eich tinau a rhowch ddefnydd go iawn i’ch beiro. Mae Taf-Od yn disgwyl...
Y Furries yn Taro Tant
Super Furry Animals, Yr Academi, Manceinion, 22/10 Gan Owain Roberts
Ar ôl i lwch pydredig ‘Cool Cymru’ gael ei chwythu’n ddiymhongar i’r gwynt, ar ôl i Catatonia benderfynu mai digon oedd digon, ac wrth i Kelly Jones sgwennu cân am ddynes o’r enw Helga, mae dyn, erbyn hyn, yn gallu dweud gydag arddeliad mai y Super Furry Animals yw y band gore yng Nghymru. Beth sydd yn syfrdanol, ar ôl eu perfformiad heno, yw eu bod ymysg rhai o fandiau gore’r byd. Ar noson wlyb ym Manceinion, od ydi ymlwybro at gynhesrwydd yr Academi i weld perfformiad gan bump dewin Cymraeg yn chwarae caneuon seicadelig am gwn euraidd, ieir a gair rheg pedair llythyren. Pan ddechreua’r pylsiadau cywir a churiadau tecno’r gân agoriadol, ‘Slow Life’, anodd yw peidio teimlo fel
Gruff Rhys: ‘yn berchen ar wallt sy’n gorchymyn parch...’
COLOFN Y COFI ALLTUD (V)
Mi fyddwch chi’n gwybod erbyn hyn, mae’n siwr, ei bod hi’n arfer gan y Cofi Alltud i agor ei golofn drwy gyfeirio at y ffaith ei fod o yn ei ôl unwaith eto, a hynny am wythnos arall i fwydro a phaldaruo a thynnu blew o drwynau sy’n rhy fawr. Ond y tro yma, mae’r dychwelyd yn wir mewn mwy nag un ystyr a’r emosiwn sy’n dod yn ei sgîl yn haeddu colli deigryn neu ddau, digon siwr. Newydd ddod yn ôl i’r brifddinas ydw i a hynny ar ôl cyfnod byr adra yn hel atgofion yn yr hen dre. Mi oedd yr hiraeth wedi bod yn corddi ers tro byd a doedd yna ddim amdani yn y diwedd ond hel fy mhac a’i heglu hi i fyny’r A470 am Gaernarfon. Prin nad oes yna deimlad brafiach yn y byd na chroesi’r Cob yn Port cyn gweld copaon Eryri yn ymestyn yn y pellter a chithau’n gwybod fod adra rownd y tro. Ac yn gwybod hefyd cymaint gwell ydi’r peints yn nhre’r Cofis o’i gymharu â’r sothach hwnnw sy’n diferu yn llawn dwr o daps y Taf. Mi rydw i’n meddwl weithiau eu bod nhw’n mynd â’r enw ‘Taf ’ yn rhy bell o lawer – mi glywais i ambell un yn honni bod lefel yr afon yn codi os ydi’r Undeb ar gau. Ta waeth, mi oedd hi’n bleser bod adra a finna wedi anghofio cymaint o heddwch sydd i’w gael yn y dafarn pan nad oes yna bobol fel Rhys Teifi i darfu ar y tawelwch ac Owain Dobson i fynd o gwmpas tai yn malu gwlâu i gyfeiliant Bryn Fôn. Ond dyna fo, popeth da, fe ddaw i derfyn, meddai’r Sais, a dod yn ôl i Gaerdydd fu’n rhaid i minna a throi yn Gofi Alltud drachefn. A Chofi Alltud digon surbwch ar y naw, o ran hynny, oherwydd mi oedd yna newyddion drwg yn fy nisgwyl i mewn llythyr swyddogol wrth y drws. Mi gofiwch chi, mae’n debyg, am yr helynt yr wythnos diwetha pan gafodd y Cofi Alltud ei stopio gan heddlu am reidio’n anghyfreithlon ar ei feic. Mi gofiwch chi hefyd fod rhoi’r ddynol natur yn y fath berygl yn haeddu cosb gyda’r llymaf sy’n bod. Wel drwy gryn drugaredd, mi oedd yr awdurdodau wedi sbario i mi fynd i’r jêl, ond mewn ffit o wendid wedi penderfynu rhoi dirwy o £20 i mi am eu trafferth. Yng ngeiriau doeth yr heddwas ei hun: "I asked him his name... I smelt intoxicants on his breath... His speech was slurred... His eyes were glazed... He was unsteady on his feet............ In my opinion, he was drunk." Dwi’n siwr y cytunwch chi nad pawb fuasai’n gallu dod i’r fath gasgliad syfrdanol o graff. Efo plismyn mor llachar â hyn, mi fydd holl broblemau troseddu Caerdydd wedi’u datrys cyn diwedd yr wythnos. Er bod y Cofi Alltud rwan yn fwy sgint nag erioed. Ac yn fwy sychedig nag erioed hefyd, petai gofyn bod yn onest. Does arna i fawr o awydd yfed o’r Taf ond mi wnaeth yn y Taf y tro yn iawn. Mi smalia i mod i yn Gaernarfon, dyna i gyd!
Media
Page 14
November 1 2003
grmedia@cf.ac.uk
How to get ahead in Media
gair rhydd’s indispensible guide to making it in the industry
By Vicky Corbett Media Correspondent
A
sk any media professional what could make their job better and many would probably request more pay. Despite this complaint the media industry is still one of the most competitive
career areas. With thousands of media studies graduates being turned out every year into the cold and unpredictable wilderness that is the media job market, many of them will struggle to find their first job and one that can pay their rent at that. Newspapers, broadcasters and film makers are inundated with
hundreds of media graduates each year desperate to make it in the industry. Some may be lucky and be given a low paid, low maintenance job involving tea and coffee making with the promise that some day they will move up the career ladder. These days employers are looking for that little bit extra, they are looking for people who have
really thought about what they want to do and have gone for it 100%. To show your extraordinary commitment to the career of your choice there are various paths you can take. With this in mind, we at gair rhydd media proudly present the rough guide to getting a foot in the door into this competitive industry.
Radio is a tough industry to get into
Media Muddle
The best place to start is by applying fo work experience at your local paper, like the Western Mail and Echo
Newspapers Most journalists do not go straight into writing hard hitting political reports for The Guardian, in fact none of them do. The majority of young journalists start at ground level at a local newspaper writing reports on local crime and human interest tales. Even getting to this stage can be difficult, there are few steady reporter jobs and lots of budding reporters, the trick is getting yourself into that first regional press job. The best place to start is by applying for work experience at local papers while you are doing your degree. Its easy to fit in one week here or there during your holidays and it gives you valuable knowledge about how a newsroom works and provides you with contacts in the industry. There are many news organisations in Cardiff - you might try the South Wales Echo or The Wales News Agency. Contact them well in advance of when you want to go as they book up fast with work experience students. Another way of setting yourself well ahead of the game is by doing a Postgraduate Diploma course after you finish your undergraduate degree. There are several universities that provide these courses, one of the best is right here in Cardiff at the School of Journalism! Most of the courses will interview you and want to see evidence of work experience in a portfolio of published
work, however small it is. Be warned however, these courses are not cheap. For more information on these courses check out the National Council for Training Journalists at www.nctj.com Of course do not forget that you have a fantastic chance at making a great start in the press trade right here with the gair rhydd. The student paper is always looking for enthusiastic writers to contribute to the next edition, so why not head up to our offices on the 4th floor and have a chat, or send an e-mail to the section that interests you the most. There is something for everyone to do.
Radio For those of you who fancy themselves as the future Chris Moyles, but not the future Sara Cox lets hope, it is another case of getting out there and doing work experience in the industry. There are many different careers within the radio industry. The Radio 1 website does a pretty good job of outlining all the areas you could go into in the music and radio business, as well as providing information about how to apply for jobs and work experience. Take a look at www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/ There are regional radio stations all over the country, so try contacting your local station or one of the many South Wales stations to see what kind of work experience
placements they can offer. Get on the internet to find out what your local station is and what their contact details are, it should be easy to find. Budding news-readers should take a look at the broadcast journalism courses offered around the country, the NCTJ website can help you with these again. The Cardiff School of Journalism also offers a fantastic course in this, have a look at the course outline on the website http://www.cardiff.ac.uk/jomec/ Once again, you have fantastic opportunities right here in Cardiff with Xpress Radio. There are many different areas you can get into and training on all the equipment is provided. This is a great opportunity to get recognised as an up and coming talent; the stations own DJs have been frequently honoured with awards from the Radio1 Student Radio Awards and the Cardiff Student Media Awards. Many of the past presenters have gone on to jobs at stations such as Red Dragon.
Television This industry has so many different possibilities that it would be impossible to mention all of them. Television has actors, producers, directors, researchers, journalists, presenters, technicians, the list could go on for much longer.
Work experience may sound time consuming considering you will quite likely get no pay, but it will help you decide whether this is the area you want to specialise in. The BBC offers a fantastic range of work experience placements, all of which you apply for by filling in forms via the web. You could apply for placements in journalism, programme making, or even a placement at Top of the Pops! Find all this and more at www.bbc.co.uk/jobs/workexperience_hub.html The BBC also take on a few trainees every year in various areas of their production. These are all outlined on the website and could lead to a job once the traineeships are completed. Also try contacting the personnel departments of regional television centres, such as HTV or BBC Wales, to find out about placement opportunities. Most programme makers will have started out as runners (people who get the tea and do the photocopying) on productions. They may then move on to production assistants and continue to move up the career ladder through those means. Skillset (Sector Skills Council for the Audio Visual Industries) is an outstanding careers company devoted to providing eager people with training in the workings of the television industry. They also offer advice through their website (www.skillset.org/careers/home.as p).
Oxford’s student station, Altered Radio is clearly on a mission to become the Channel 5 of the audio world. The highlight of the forthcoming FM broadcast is a show where willing volunteers try out adventurous sexual positions and report back to listeners mid-experiment. But lets face it, however suggestive (or blatant) the show is, it can never compete with a good viewing of ‘Confessions of a randy student.’ I’m still waiting for the TV desk to return my copy. Back to Nottingham Trent’s ‘Platform’’ newspaper which provoked the comment of the week from our beloved sports editor, Riath. The offence: To put a large ad on the back page in the place of sport. The quote from Mr. Al-Samarrai: "By doing that they’ve effectively dug up Bobby Moore and raped him up the arse." Well quite. We looked. We scratched our heads. We turned the paper upside down. But even after all this we couldn’t quite work out what the headline "Theif’s (sic) in crimes against the law" in Newcastle’s ‘Courier’ was supposed to actually tell us. How many examples of stating the obvious can you actually have in one headline? But credit where credit’s due, Oxford Student’s list of interviewees so far is very impressive: Mathew Perry, Clint Eastwood and Tony Martin. Not that we’re jealous at all here in Cardiff. Bastards. Complete bastards the lot of them.
Sir Bobby: We at Cardiff still love you
Media
November 1 2003
Page 15
grmedia@cf.ac.uk
Should we cover the BNP?
Reporting on the controversial political party is a tricky issue for the student press writes Gary Andrews
A
fortnight ago gair rhydd ran two articles; The first was entitled ‘BNP in Wales’ and was a small story reporting the rise of the British National Party in this country. The second, in the politics section, went under the headline, ‘The best of the rest: What the smaller parties have to say’ carried a short section detailing the BNP’s policies along with a quote from a spokesperson. Together these articles provoked some of the most heated debate ever seen between section editors in the office. But if you put to one side the immediate reaction to the articles, an interesting question arises for all media, not just that run by students – when, if ever, should the activities of a far-right (racist) party be covered? There is no doubt that the BNP generates more column inches than any of the other minor political parties and that the vast majority of this press is extremely hostile. Despite the negativity of the coverage, it all adds up to exposure for the BNP – the type of exposure that other political parties are desperate for, says gair rhydd columnist Mark Cobley:
"It is unfortunate from the point of view of smaller parties, but for the media it’s a good story as it’s full-on conflict and you get plenty of that when the BNP are winning seats. "There’s no doubt that the smaller parties deserve coverage as more voices need to be heard, but the BNP should be given no more coverage than their size deserves, as they are not a particularly large party." While the rise of racism in politics is a worrying development, an overtly hysterical tone may in fact serve to arouse curiosity and attract people who enjoy antagonising society. While simultaneously causing panic among everyday people who are led to assume that the situation is worse than it perhaps is. However to discuss the policies of the BNP, has the danger of bestowing an air of legitimacy upon the far right and neatly plays into the BNP tactic of manipulating their underlying message to make the party sound like its members are normal decent people who simply want the best for Britain. The most obvious answer to this problem would be to simply ban any coverage of the far right, but this is not without its problems as Emma Bebington, Cardiff Students’ Union
Communication and Community Officer points out: "If they’re there, they need to be covered. “If, for example, the BNP, was putting up a candidate in Cardiff then it needs to be known. “On issues of racism students have a right to know what is going on. They need to be warned." There is also the question of freedom of speech. Part of the ideology of this country and its press is that everybody has the right to express
“On issues of racism students have a right to know what is going on" Emma Bebington
their opinion and viewpoint. It’s a problem that Emma Bebington is only too well aware of: "Although the NUS has a no platform policy against the BNP, the Students’ Union as a company isn’t allowed to be political. We don’t legislate against the BNP as such, but we do legislate against racism, which would include the BNP.
“The main priority is that students of all backgrounds feel safe at Cardiff." Mark also agrees with the no platform principle: "I can understand why Students’ Unions have the no platform policy, and that’s a good policy, as nobody should feel threatened in their own union. "However, student media are in a special position. As they operate under these policies, there’s a fine line between freedom of speech and controversial views, and Students’ Unions that allow the former and don’t dictate policy should be applauded." There is also the danger that if the decision is taken not to cover the BNP, the media has started to act as its own self-censor, setting a worrying precedent. If you’re going to boycott coverage of the BNP, then why not ban the Communist Party or the Socialist Alliance? If a paper starts censoring articles that are controversial or may offend somebody then many would argue that it is not doing its job properly. To shy away from certain topics leaves no room for debate in the
media. It is a brave editor that runs such articles about the BNP but, on the balance of it all, to cover them is the right decision. As long as areas like the BNP are approached in a rational manner, then, as Mark Cobley suggests, "by running articles on the BNP you can expose exactly how ridiculous and racist their claims are."
Nick Griffin, always seeks coverage
Listings
October 25 2003
Page 17
grlistings@cf.ac.uk
Cinema - Club - Pub - Art - Theatre - Sport - Quizzes - Music - Comedy gair rhydd’s day by day listings: if it’s on it’s in. With Hannah Muddiman
Wednesday29/10
Rubber Duck Club Night @ Solus, SU Prizes for the best dressed 9pm-2am, £3 (NUS) Student Session @ Liquid Cheesy chart, R&B, commercial dance Drinks 99p before midnight, £1.50 after £2 (NUS) Wednesday Social @ The Barfly Relax with a coffee and soak up the atmosphere, or even play an impromptu set Noon-2.30pm, free Express @ Barfly Party hip-hop featuring resident DJs, turntablists and breakdancers 10.30pm-2am, £2 (NUS) All Three Floors @ Clwb Ifor Bach Cheesey Club: motown, funk, disco Popscene: Indie Milky Bar: Electric chill out and Playstations 9:30pm, £2.50 (NUS) Tokyo-yo @ Moloko Resident DJs play a crazy mix of cool rare groove. Drinks promotions all night Relax @ Stylus 80s, 9pm-2am, £2 Simple @ The Philharmonic Free Wednesdays @ Club X Chart and mix, 7.30pm-2am, £1.50 (NUS) Duelling Pianos @ Jumpin Jaks 70s style Cheapskates @ Metros Alternative and cheese Double shot and mixer 80p, no dress code 9pm-2am Wednesdays @ Sam’s Bar Live bands, £2 Indie Box @ Journeys 4pm-midnight The Big Freeze @ Berlins R&B, garage Free before 11pm, £3 after Latin Night @ Life Latin music and salsa lessons £2 2 for 1 cocktails @ The Slug and Lettuce From 7pm
Where? Theatres, Concert Halls and Galleries Students’ Union Box office 02920 781458 Uni Music Dept Concert Hall Corbett Road The New Theatre Park Place 02920 878889. The Sherman Theatre Senghenydd Road 02920 646900 Butetown History & Arts Centre 5 Dock Chambers, Bute Street, Cardiff Bay 02920 256757 National Museum and Gallery Cathays Park 02920 397951 Chapter Arts Centre Canton 02920 304400 Cardiff Indoor Arena Mary Ann Street Enq: 02920 224488 St David’s Hall The Hayes Enq: 02920 878420 Box Office: 02920 878444 Live Music Barfly Kingsway Info: 02920 396589 Tickets: 08709 070999 Clwb Ifor Bach Womanby Street 02920 232199 The Coal Exchange Mount Stuart Street Cardiff Bay 02920 462311 Toucan Bar and Café 95 St Mary Street 02920 372212 Jazz Café St Mary Street 02920 387026 Blues Dragon Club Gwennyth Street (Cathays) Clubs Stylus Golate (off St Mary Street)
Thursday30/10
Climax @ Solus, SU 9pm-3am, £3 (NUS) Usual Suspects @ Creation Chart, dance, indie, old school Fresh City @ Liquid Cardiff’s premiere R&B session (apparently); dress code casual, no headgear With resident DJ Raheem (Vibe 101) and MC Echo. £2.50 Thursday Night Fever @ Barfly Put on your dancing shoes for extreme cheese 10.30pm-2am, £2 Uprising @ Clwb Ifor Bach Reggae, dub, ska Doors 10pm, £3 (NUS) Enthusiasm @ Moloko Hip-hop, d’n’b, breaks Drinks promotions all night 9pm-2am Free before 11pm, £1 after Twisted By Design @ City Arms Diverse alternative tunes Free Groove Check @ Stylus Classic soul, boogie, funk and R&B 9pm-2am, £2 (NUS) Shag-tag @ Bar X Free before midnight, £2 after Thursdays @ Exit Club Chart and mix 7.30pm-2am £1.50 (NUS) Red Dragon Radio @ Jumpin’ Jaks High school hits Spellbound @ Metros Metal, indie, fat guitars and evil beats 9pm-3am Livewire @ Bar Ice Dub, ska, reggae Northern Soul @ Journeys Ska, reggae, 60s, mod 4pm-midnight
02920 669901 Liquid St Mary Street 02920 645464 Metros (Club Metropolitan) Baker’s Row 02920 399939 Moloko 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Flares St Mary Street Reflex (80s music) St Mary Street Emporium 8-10 High Street 02920 664577 Berlins 5-9 Church Street Creation Park Place 02920 377014 Jumpin’ Jaks Millennium Plaza Wood Street Pubs and Bars Bar Cuba Unit 5, The Friary 02920 397967 Bar Risa Millennium Plaza Wood Street The George Mackintosh Place The Mackintosh Mundy Place The Woodville Woodville Road The End Wyverne Road Gassy Jacks Salisbury Road The Social Salisbury Road Inncognito Park Place Tut & Shive City Road Earnest Willows (Wetherspoon) City Road Ha! Ha! The Friary Bar Med The Friary Henry’s Park Place
Scrum Park Place BSB Windsor Place Central Bar (Wetherspoon) Windsor Place Dempseys Castle Street Rummer Tavern Duke Street RSVP St John Sreet Slug and Lettuce Working Street Gatekeeper (Wetherspoon) Womanby Street Old Orleans, Church Street O’Neill’s Trinity Street Toad Trinity Street Yates’s Westgate Street Queen’s Vaults Westgate Street Oz Bar St Mary Street Is It? Wharton Street O’Neils St Mary Street Prince of Wales (Wetherspoon) Wood Street The Square (Philharmonic) St Mary Street Kitty Flynn’s St Mary Street Kings Cross (gay pub) Mill Lane Walkabout St Mary Street Jongleurs Comedy Club St Mary Street Glee Comedy Club Bute Street, Cardiff Bay Blah Blahs St Mary Street Journeys 1 Upper Cliffton Street
Friday31/10
CinemaWeek
Friday Formula @ Creation Three floors of commercial and old school £4 (NUS) Drink Free @ Liquid Cheesy chart, R&B, commercial dance. Smart: no ripped jeans of trainers £3 entry (NUS) before 11pm, including three bottles Mad4it @ Barfly Indie classics, baggy beats, party tunes 10.30pm-2am, £3 The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach (downstairs) Guest DJs every week Psych, pop, freakbeat, garagerock, punk, R&B and beyond Doors 10pm, £3 Forward Motion @ Moloko Free before 11pm Fridays @ Exit Club Chart and mix 7.30pm-2am £1.50 (NUS) Duelling Pianos @ Jumpin Jaks Live for the weekend Chaos @ Metros The only alternative tunes to make you think/dance/drink from here, there and everywhere 9pm-3am Fridays @ Bar Ice Funky house and good grooves 8pm-2am, free Soul Dreams @ Journeys Old school R&B UpToNoGood @ The Lounge Chunky, funky vocal house Free
UCI Cardiff Finding Nemo (U) 10:30, 11:10 (not Fri), 11:45 (not Fri), 12:35 (not Fri), 13:00, 13:30, 14:30, 15:15, 15:45, 16:15, 17:15, 18:30, 18:55, 20:00 (Mon-Thurs), 20:45 (Fri-Sun), 21:10 Intolerable Cruelty (12a) 12:50 (not Fri), 15:50, 18:15, 21:00, 23:30 (Fri and Sat) Kill Bill (18) 13:10, 16:00, 17:45 (not Sun), 18:25 (Sun), 18:45, 20:25, 21:30, 23:15 (Fri and Sat) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (18) 21:00, 23:45 (Sat) Bad Boys 2 (15) 21:30 Cabin Fever (15) 20:45 (Mon-Thurs), 21:20 (Fri-Sun), 00:00 (Fri and Sat) Mystic River (15) 15:00, 18:00, 21:15 Calandar Girls (12a) 18:15 (not Tues or Thurs), 20:45 (not Tues or Thurs), 21:50 (Tues and Thurs) Down With Love (12a) 10:50 (not Fri or Sun) Secondhand Lions (PG) 13:45, 16:30, 19:10, 21:45 Dark Blue (15) (Director’s Chair) 16:00 (Sun), 19:00 (Tues) Holes (PG) 12:15 (not Fri), 15:00, 18:00 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (12a) 10:40 (not Fri or Sun), 13:20, 16:15, 18:55 Pirates Of The Caribbean (12a) 11:30 (not Fri), 21:00 (not Sat or Tue), 21:40 (Tue)
Ster Century Cinema UGC Cardiff The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (18) (Sat only) 11:40, 14:20, 16:40, 19:00, 21:30, 23:50 In America (15) (Wed only) 20:30 Intolerable Cruelty (12a) 11:00, 13:20, 15:40, 18:10, 20:30, 23:00 (Sat and Sun only) Party Monster (15) 11:20, 14:00, 16:30, 18:50, 21:20, 23:40 (Fri and Sat) 11:10, 13:30, 16:00, 18:20, 20:50 (Sun-Thurs) The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (12a) 11:55, 14:40, 17:25, 20:00, 22:50 (Fri and Sat) Mystic River (15) 20:30 (Sat) 11:30, 14:30, 17:25, 20:30 (Sun-Thurs) Finding Nemo (U) 11:30, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:00, 16:00, 17:00, 18:00, 20:30 (Sat) 11:30, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:00, 16:00, 17:00, 18:00, 18:30, 20:30 (Sun-Thurs) Down With Love (12a) 17:20 (Sat and Sun) Mon-Wed: 11:30, 14:30, 17:20 (Mon-Wed) 14:30, 17:20 (Thurs) Pirates Of The Caribbean (12a) 11:00, 14:00 (Sat and Sun) Life Is Beautiful (PG) 21:00 (Thurs) Secondhand Lions (PG) 11:40, 14:45, 17:30, 20:20 Holes (PG) 11:20, 14:15, 17:20, 20:00 Spellbound (U) 11:00, 13:20, 15:50, 18:20, 20:45, 23:10 (Sat-Thurs) Kill Bill (18) 11:00, 12:40, 13:30, 15:20, 16:10, 18:00, 18:50, 20:40, 21:30 (Sat) 11:55. 13:00, 14:30, 15:40, 17:30, 18:20, 20:30, 21:15 (Sun-Thurs) 23:20, 00:10 (Fri and Sat) Comandante (PG) 21:00 (Sun-Thurs) Cabin Fever (15) 11:55, 14:30, 17:00, 19:15, 21:00 (Sat-Mon) 11:55, 14:30, 21:30 (Tues) 11:55, 14:30, 17:00, 19:15, 21:30 (Wed and Thurs) 23:45 (Fri and Sat) Bad Boys 2 (15) 10:50, 14:30, 17:45, 21:00 (Sat and Sun) 10:50, 14:30 (Mon) 10:50, 14:30, 17:45, 21:00 (Tue-Thurs) Calendar Girls (12a) 20:00 (Sat and Sun) 20:00 (Tue-Thurs) Cardiff University Film Society Film Of The Week: No Mans Land (15) Monday 9pm, meet the society in the bar from 8pm
Holes (PG) 11:50, 14:30, 17:20, 20:10 Intolerable Cruelty (12) 12:50, 15:10, 17:30, 19:50, 22:10 Second Hand Lions (PG) 11:40, 14:10, 16:40, 19:05 Bad Boys 2 (15) 12:05, 15:10, 18:15, 21:20 Calendar Girls (12a) 14:10, 16:40 Down With Love (12a) 13:45, 16:10, 18:40, 21:25 Finding Nemo (U) 11:35, 12:00, 13:00, 14:00, 15:00, 16:00, 17:00, 18:00, 19:00, 20:00, 21:00, 22:00 Kill Bill (18) 11:45, 14:15, 16:45, 19:15, 21:45 Mystic River (15) 12:15, 15:05, 18:05, 21:05 Once Upon A Time In Mexico (15) 22:35 Piglets Big Movie (U) 11:30, 13:30 Pirates of The Caribbean (12a) 19:25 Rugrats go Wild (U) 12:10 The Italian Job (12a) 15:15, 17:40, 20:15 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (12a) 12:20, 14:40, 17:10, 19:35, 22:15 Underworld (15) 22:05 Halloween Fright Week Film Special The Eye (15) 21:30 (Mon only) The Blair Witch Project (15) 21:30 (Tues only) Ginger Snaps (18) 21:30 (Wed only) The Crow (18) 21:30 (Thurs only)
Free Stuff
November 1 2003
Page 19
grcompetitions@cf.ac.uk
grab!
“If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?” Vince Lombardi
WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN Another week, another load of damn good prizes to get your freezing, flu-ridden mitts on. This week guys have the chance to double their wardrobes in our Topman comp, we’ve got a great package courtesy of Air France, and some free alcohol for all you drunks out there who can’t afford your own. To enter any of the competitions on this page, write your answers and details on a postcard, a slip of paper or a fifty pound note, and drop them into the competitions pigeonhole in the gair rhydd office, or email them to grcompetitions@cf.ac.uk.
‘What’s the frequency gair rhydd?’
A
ir France are offering you lucky readers the chance to win some fabulous prizes, including return flights to Cairo, Paris and free entry passes to Disneyland Resort Paris.
If you’re after great airfares and more flexibility to 512 destinations worldwide look no further than Air France. You could have access to the best fares on their extensive network, including youth fares with added flexibility. You can also earn reward flights to France and beyond by accumulating miles on each flight and at any fare with Air France and the other Sky Team airlines. There are also hot deals from 15 fantastic brands so treat
yourself to loads of great offers and exclusive benefits on a number of products and services from Hostelling International, Disneyland Resort Paris, Lonely Planet, CD-WOW!, BOL.com, Ticketmaster UK, Sportsshoes.com, Claranet UK and many more. Plus there’s the opportunity to win free flights to many destinations around the world and other exciting prizes each month on the Frequency website. Go for it! You are just a few clicks from a world of exclusive benefits. Log on to Frequenc’y at
www.airfrance.com/uk and click on "Frequent flyer, Frequenc’y", and join Frequenc’y for free! What’s more, you’ll get a 3,000 miles welcome bonus!
To celebrate the launch of Frequenc’y, Air France and selected partners are offering one fantastic prize package which includes the following:
Complete the name of one of Alienation Nation New wave, slight- Topman’s new ranges, ‘Shine ly anarchic and pretty extreme. Ultra on you Crazy...’
Where’s that hand going?
Shine on you Crazy Diamond Legitimately cool reflective fabrics and yarns, high sheen suiting, and shiny coated cottons all feature in this multi-area trend. Reflective look parkas, duster coats and hi-shine polyurethane padded jackets give new life to a reflective genre previously dominated by lollipop ladies!
biker jackets, multistripe knits, drainpipe trousers and leather bombers give a multi youth-cultural mix of retro and modern. ‘New Yorkian’ new wave comes to the UK.
Tim Henman will do anything for money
Enter in the usual way.
Livefree4aweek.net
WINNER OF THE WEEK CHARLES INGRAM
Despite strong competitioin from IDS, this week we salute Charles Ingram, the nation’s favourite winner. He won a million on Who Wants to be a Millioinaire, then lost it all for being a big cheat. He won an insurance claim... and now he’s lost that, for (wait for it) being a big cheat. Charles, if you’re reading, enter one of these competitions. We promise we won’t take your prize away.
Q: How many airline and nonairline partners are involved in the Frequenc’y reward scheme? A: 15 B: 18 C: 21 Need help? You’ll find the answer on the Frequenc’y website. Oh, and good luck.
To be in with the chance to win this cracking prize
Less stress, less hassle, more fun... here’s Malibu® courtesy of the Seriously Easy staff, as well as chances to get two-forone vouchers through the Seriously Easy photographers. So don’t get stressed about things that don’t really matter – take life less seriously and rock up to the next Malibu Seriously Easy night on
Is it: a) Opal b) Diamond c) Ruby
As promised, this week we’re offering you the chance to win Empire State Human A stylish and £50 to spend in Topman on the stylish new Autumn/Winter relaxed style drawing influences from The Strokes and The Ramones. White collection. Just swot up on the new ranges below and answer the simple question that follows.
simply answer the following question:
Seriously easy comp
Get yerself somit’ nice smart or ultra relaxed – there’s something for all style gurus. Detailed trousers can be worn with zipped leather jackets, hoodies, formalwear and oversized boots or full tilt somber militaristic.
One copy of the Lonely Planet Gap Year Guide; One free entry pass to Disneyland Resort Paris; Two copies of the Hostelling International 2003 Guide; One CD, DVD or video game from CD Wow!; One ‘Western Dinner’ for two people from Planet Hollywood; One two-day complimentary London Pass giving you access to top London attractions.
Whether it’s for drinks at home before hitting the bar or for nights out clubbing with friends, Malibu & Cranberry is the key to seriously easy refreshment. To win this seriously easy going prize, simply log on to www.seriouslyeasygoing.com to find the answer following question:
Calling all partygoers! Christmas has definitely come early with the launch of the excluWhat is the name sive fun-filled Malibu of the chairman of Seriously Easy the Seriously Easy nights at Cardiff. Going Phone Malibu will bring the Company? ‘seriously easygoing’ spirit of the Know your limits. A stark warning of the Caribbean to all lucky students dur- dangers of alcoholism. For more Malibu ing the cold winter November 6 from 9pm in fun and a chance to win months. the Students’ Union bar. some other fantastic As the nights draw in, To celebrate the prizes, including an the Seriously Easy nights launch of the night three exclusive holiday for two will provide some lightlucky people will each to the beautifully sunhearted relief for pleaswin a bottle of Malibu, a drenched island of ure seeking partygoers. Malibu branded jug and Barbados, visit www.seriOn arrival there will be a some cranberry juice. ouslyeasygoing.com. free Malibu & Cranberry
WIN! FRIENDSHIP
POST-MATCH ANALYSIS
Last week’s answers and winners Tribal Gathering Photo Comp
Congratulations to Sam Millard who wins himself a pair of tickets to next month’s Tribal Gathering, the lucky sod. Great picture Sam - mayhem indeed! Your details will be forwarded to the promotional company.
By talking to a charity person in Cardiff centre. They just want to be loved and get very sad Miss Selfridge vouchers when people change their route Answer: 1980s. home just to avoid them. If you Winner: Anna Roberts befriend them they’ll even add Winners will be contacted when their you to their list of best friends prizes are ready for collection. on their clipboard.
Television
November 1 2003
Page 21
onlyonecuntinbetweensentences,nottwo.@cf.ac.uk
Your essential guide to this week’s TV 1 November to 9 November
Calm down, calm down
End of the line for iconic 80s scouser soap.
HOT Opium. Once the preserve of the sneaky smoking addict, opium has hit the headlines again as China have banned a song featuring the drug. Faye Wong’s In The Name Of Love. Could this condemnation see a comeback for the evil seed? Well it is National Poppy Day on the 11th...
SOAPS Eek. Martin ‘Jolly Green Giant’ Fowler is on the prowl again, and his target is the ever-regrettable Sonia. Although Son is getting incredibly slick and svelte, I am still not going to advocate this rather sexual episode as arousing viewing. In the event of you needing a blonde fix, the ‘Oaks is set to become quintruple and bombard us five times a week. And to commemorate this special occasion, we have been offered a rather flangey ‘late-night’ edition (Channel 4, 10.40pm, Wednesday). Usually, this is an excuse for the characters to gratuituously say ‘bollocks’, but then again there’s always a lot of rampant ravaging going on too, so if your copy of “Bigger Bazookas: A Need For Norks 2” is wearing thin you at least have another option.
Hooray! After months, nay YEARS of terminal decline, Brookside finally finishes this week. Dry your tears now, for god’s sake, you’re going to need them in abundance on Tuesday (CH4, 10.40pm) night, as it’s all over. In classic “last episode ever” fashion, there is the return of two key characters: the mentalist Barry Grant, and whatever boring character Claire Sweeney played. Expect high-jinks, and hopefully a highly dramatic conclusion, possibly including the atomic destruction of Liverpool. Although it’ll probably be something dull and sentimental, like Jimmy walking down the Close for the last time with a tear in his eye, and a suspicious looking kitchen knife in his back. The poor guy will never find another role in television. Ack, even my eyes are watering now. The Tuesday night almost-literal graveyard slot will never be the same again. Not. Sunday (2nd) sees the start of what looks to be quite an interesting new series looking at Einstien’s Super String theory of the Universe and how we might possibly be close to proving it. The C4 Theory Of Everything (C4 8pm) is probably the most highbrow thing we’ve ever recommended, but the inner geek in me will be loving every second of it (this is TV Andy btw just to clarify if the rest of TV Desk object)... Plus we all get to laugh at Stephen Hawking’s funny voice. There’s plenty to enjoy on Thur sday w i t h
DIGITAL WATCH Oh yes. Yes. Yes. If the need be apparently to once again reinforce the fact that Sky One has sunk five’s battleship in the great sea battle of soft porn, then I strongly advise going digital before Friday. Namely, the double-header of dubious sordid documentaries sliced and diced into the schedule like fine herbs in a juicy stuffed chicken. Crap extended metaphors aside, feast your eyes on this: Firstly there’s Unofficial World Records of Sex (11pm) and then Double Entry (11.30pm). The former is pretty much what it says it is; a plethora of morons masquerading as the general public doing extreme sex acts. Quite what is left to the imagination, but perhaps biggest orgy, DebbieDoes-Dallas-esque endurace records, most depraved grunting, most pathetic excuse for sexual attractiveness, and other such crap. Good good. The latter, if you can stomach this, is actually even more ridiculous. For Double Entry is a reality game show in which two teams compete to make a porno using new methods and drawing upon existing ideas from media moguls. A bit like Scrapheap Challenge then. Only with more waste products. Something else not entirely unrelated, there’s some guff about Prince on BBC3 the same night, about what he does with all his money (11.30) which would be worth checking out, did it not clash with Double Entry, which the midget probably funded anyway.
Escape To Victory (five 9pm), Pop Idol for DJs on ITV1 (The Joy of Decks 11.30pm) and most bizzarely a documentary on Indian eunuchs on BBC3 (India’s Ladyboys 9pm). In the immortal words of Alan Partridge “Ladyboys pint of lager, gin and tonic, shot of Baileys...”. Skip back joyfully with me to Monday now for yet more high-brow hi-jinks in the form of Looking for Victoria (BBC1, 9pm), in which the delightfully dotty Prunella Scales bumbles around pretending to be Queen Victoria and reading out excerpts from the monarch’s diary, the little snoop. Last week, we learned that instead of being the prude of popular myth, Vic was actually a bit of a dirty saucepot she liked her husband Albert to go commando “under his best cashmere breeches”. Sadly, there was no definitive word on whether the Prince Consort did in fact give his name to a
certain kind of intimate body piercing. Gutted. Anyway, back to the smut you so rightfully deserve. Sky One delivers the goodies again with When Sex Goes Wrong ( Saturday 8th, 11pm). A delightful way of realising that other people encounter knob cheese, fanny farts and anal erruptions when enjoying the exotic dance of love, and you don’t even have to ask your housemates embarrassing questions to know you’re not alone! Even better, there may be reenactments, which may wet your whistle - only until disaster occurs, though. In fact, you could turn this programme into a game... Stay sitting if this has happened to you, etc. ... Oh, the possibilities! Lastly, there’s The Making of Matrix Revolutions for all you depraved individuals who have already downloaded the trailer, preordered the crass merchandise and discussed the matter on internet forums, you putrid geeks. Rejoice though, because now you can see bits of it inbetween interviews with Keanu and the other ones acting mysterious and pretending they have deep booming voices. Any you’ll realise that it’s blatantly going to be more of the same stylised, substanceless suburban bullshit for imagination-free cretins. And my rage is not just because I saw Reloaded and felt sick after eating too many sour cream pringles. It’s on at 12.35 on Friday, If you MUST watch this. Enjoy xxxx
VIDEOS TO RENT:BUY So. It goes two ways. You can go down the Disney route, and celebrate revenge with The Lion King. Or you can immerse yourself in all-action rubbish and swoon over Harrison Ford, as the boxed set of Indiana Jones goes on sale. Now the Lion King is a mad one. Stolen from Shakespeare and made cuter, the revenge plot and happy-happy ending do make it vaguely irresistable. Bizarrely, the voices for Pumba and Timone were originally to be provided by Vic and Bob. Strange, eh? Anyway, my point is we’ve all seen it, we all secretly relished it, and if all the copies of ‘Lord of the G-Strings’ have been taken out of Blockbuster, then you may as well let its saccharine goodness rot your brain. As far as Indiana is concerned, you couldn’t get much better for absorbing nostalgia and the delighful Harrison. Hot on the heels of the Back to the Future trilogy, this release proves that we can’t run away from our retro roots. You’ll see I’m right by the queues spiralling out of HMV. Maybe. Oh, watch out for the duff one with Sean Connery though. He was never good for my retro ruminations.
NOT IDS. He came, he didn’t do very much and he then got booted out. Bye bye to the quiet man. You won’t be missed, or even remembered. Now watch while the Tories collapse inwardly as they fight for the right to lead the party. My money’s on Boris...
SPORT More rugby, more drug scandals and hopefully more incredible results from the mighty Wolves this week. Perhaps the most fantastic comeback and most amusing match I’ve ever seen, the 4-3 turnaround and United getting stuffed by Fulham meant that last weeks Premiership has gone down in the annals of TV Desk as the best thing ever.
FILMS
More scary delights from S4C and C4 as they bring us The Exorcist, Peeping Tom, Final Destination and the amazing Audition. Takahi Miike’s cult horror masterpiece slowly draws you in as a lonely film director holds a fake audition to find a new wife. When he starts to woo her a horrifying series of event unfold. Harrowing viewing its not for the queasy or easily disturbed. You have been warned...
RADIO It’s not often you’d catch us recommending Radio 3, however Mixing It has shown that even my grandad’s favourite station can cut it with the kids. Playing the best alternative, leftfield and experimental music around, Mixing It (10.15 Fridays) continually hits the mark with both its tunes and interviews. Amusingly it’s hosted by two blokes who make “Whispering” Bob Harris seem like Slipknot in the vocal delivery stakes and you wonder if they’d rather be building train sets at home rather than on the radio. Still in the 2 years it’s been broadcasting I’ve never heard a show that didn’t play at least 3 new or classic amazing tunes and the list of artists and acts that have performed exclusively makes Zane Lowe’s show look like a steaming pile of horse dung.
News
October 25 2003
Page 3
grnews@cardiff.ac.uk
STUDENT SAVIOURS By Molly Forbes & Will Talmage Reporters COURAGEOUS ROATH students came to the rescue after a woman was viciously attacked one night last week. The woman, in her mid-thirties, was walking along Moy Road on the evening of Thursday October 16 when the mugging occurred. Students heard a disturbance outside their house at around 10:30pm. On running outside, they found the woman being robbed and beaten. The assailant, a man in his early twenties fled the scene after being confronted. The victim was left with a b a d l y bruised temple, bleeding lip and a swollen eye but managed to hang on to all her belongings. The s eve n - ye a r
TO THE RESCUE: Ben Withey and Lloyd Davies at the scene in Moy Road
resident of Roath said she had never seen any violence like this before in the area. Ben Withey, 18 and Lloyd Davies, also 18, first year UWIC students, chased the attacker down Moy Road but lost him after he escaped in a car parked at the Tesco Metro loading bay. What seems to be a premeditated attack has left many residents feeling unsafe and vulnerable. Ben Hapgood, another of the students said, "I heard this was quite a safe area, but this has changed my mind." A female housemate said the attack has changed her perception of the area, "I wouldn’t even walk home alone from Tesco Metro now, let alone after clubbing." PC Richard Bristow of South Wales Police offered this advice, "It all comes down to personal safety. We advise students to vary their route on walking home and keep in areas lit by streetlights. “It’s very important to walk with other people and if you feel threatened then make your way to a public areas such as a bar or a shop." The attack comes as a stark reminder of the dangers present in Cardiff and the importance of not walking alone.
Students rescue local woman from violent mugger
Anti-war ‘weapons inspectors’ make a stand against Rolls Royce CAREERS FAIR PROTEST By John Collingridge News Editor
AISEC’S CAREERS fair was rudely interrupted on Wednesday afternoon when protesters heckled the Rolls Royce recruitment stand. Six students all wearing anti-biological suits, designed to look like weapons inspectors, targeted the stand of one of the biggest British suppliers of military equipment. One of the protesters Joao Martins explained the reason for their demonstration: “We want to give students the chance to make a
morally informed decision. A company that fuels armed conflict should not be at Cardiff’s careers fair.” A PR spokesperson for Rolls Royce said, "Rolls-Royce supplies and exports engines only to those countries deemed acceptable for defence products by the UK Government. Our engines are used in a wide variety of ways, ranging from helicopters to planes that carry relief to famine ridden areas. “We are proud of the fact that our work creates jobs for thousands of people both in the UK and abroad.”
Demonstrators film event
Nightrider New bus service to studentville By Alison White Reporter A NEW NIGHTBUS initiative now offers weekend revellers a regular, cheap and safe journey home to many student areas around the city. The service caters for clubbers travelling home after Friday and Saturday nights out, departing at twenty past twelve hourly until three. The service departs from outside Yates on Westgate Street and runs five daytime services to Llanishen, Ely, St. Mellons, Llanrumney and Pontprennau. Student areas such as Albany road, City road and Cathays library are covered by the bus service. Safety is a priority, with buses fitted with CCTV and every passenger is filmed getting on the bus. Security staff with communications with the police are present on each bus. The journey home is a pocket friendly £2, and a Night Rider ticket
is available allowing a return journey on inbound bus services after 7pm. Town centre manager Paul Williams reported the service’s success over the short time it has been in operation. "We have had an instant response and plan to extend the scheme very soon," he said. The scheme will provide a useful solution to those who have experienced problems getting taxis at the weekend. Student Nat Price reported problems getting home after weekend nights out. "It’s a nightmare because there are loads of taxis but when they find out you are only travelling locally they don’t want to know. It seems they are only interested in the larger fares gained by longer journeys". PC Bob Keohane spoke about the benefits of the night bus. "The more people use buses the more it will relieve the tension caused from taxi queues, which often lead to problems of pushing in and assaults".
News
November 1 2003
Page 3
grnews@cf.ac.uk
FEE SPIRITS
The message is clear, Mr Blair: students will not accept top-up fees and they are ready to fight
Pic: Ali Bulloch UNITED: Students from across the UK descend on Whitehall By Alison White Reporter AN ESTIMATED 31,000 students took to the streets of London at Sunday’s demonstration against top-up fees - three times the amount that London metropolitan police had expected. And Cardiff students provided their best turnout yet, almost quadrupling the attendance at last year’s
demo. NUS president Mandy Telford told gair rhydd of her excitement at the huge response in London. She said, "It’s going to be clear to the government how many people hate their plans. This is the biggest student demonstration we’ve ever had. "We’ve been on all the news channels, and coverage has continued throughout the day so nobody can ignore what we are about."
Ex-opposition leader Iain DuncanSmith also joined the march to let students know he would scrap tuition fees if elected, but only stayed talking to students in a pub for 20 minutes. In response to this, Mandy Telford slammed Conservative proposals on higher education. Addressing crowds in Trafalgar Square she deemed them politically opportunistic and criticised plans which would lead to thousands of university places being cut. Protestors brought central London to a standstill for several hours. Students expressed strong views on Blair’s plans for top-up fees, citing concern for future generations as the reason they marched in London. Marcher, and Cardiff biochemistry student, Alex said, "I came here because I believe education is a right, not a privilege." Liverpool student Michael Ward explained, "I’m in my final year now but my little brother and sister are going to university one day and I’d rather they didn’t have to pay these fees.” Strong visual messages conveyed the feelings of angry students. Cardiff students wore T-shirts branding Labour’s plans as ‘barefaced cheek’ while Bristol marchers wore black armbands marking the ‘death
of education’. Central School of Speech and Drama students made a poignant appeal to ‘bury the debt’ by four ‘pallbearers’ carrying a coffin on their shoulders throughout the march. The general public were invited to ‘honk for education’ as they drove past the scores of protesters. Of the increase in Cardiff students attending the march, Cardiff Union
President Finnbarr Graham said, "Things last year looked bleak and when you look at this year’s current situation we have quadrupled the amount of people we sent, with the prospect of increasing this next year. "Emma Bebington’s work was fantastic and thoroughly planned out. That prior preparation led to the success at the end of it.”
Pic: Ali Bulloch
31,000 march on central London against top-up fees Xmas Ball at Millennium Stadium FLY POSTER CULPRITS TOLD TO BUZZ OFF from front page The Union’s general manager, Jason Dunlop, said, "Cardiff University has the best students’ union in the UK. It’s only right that we should have the biggest student gig.” Organisers had hoped to secure the venue for next year’s summer ball, but its timing clashed badly with various sporting events being held in the city. Jason explained, "Setting up a ball is a five-day job. The pitch needs taking out and a stage, among other things, has to go in. "There was only a two-day window that the Stadium could accommodate us for this year, so it proved logistically impossible." President of Cardiff University Students’ Union, Finnbarr Graham, added, "The summer ball is a very difficult event to organise, with very little time between the end of exams
and people going home. "It emerged that Christmas was the best time for us and the Millennium Stadium to organise an event of this nature and scale." And it seems the ball is more than just a pipe dream. Jason confirmed that negotiations have already begun over bar prices. This will come as welcome news to disgruntled punters who attended the summer ball, with some paying up to £5 per drink. "We realise the bar prices in the CIA in June were not affordable," said Finnbar. "The sabbatical team are also aware of what makes a good ball and have lots of experience to put on a fantastic event." Another controversial issue is ticket prices. Jason reassured students, saying, "Research is already being done into ticket prices and we estimate they will be between the usual £25-£30. "But in this case, students will get a lot more for their money. We want
to deliver something different that everyone will enjoy. This will be a quality, polished ball." Provisional attractions are set to include fairground events, and different bands, but with the ball still a year off, the Union is hoping to negotiate national acts and promotion. But while plans are made for next Christmas, several current third years are worried about the summer ball’s future. Finnbarr admitted the venue is as yet undecided, but was confident the event would go ahead. "We hope to confirm plans for it this side of Christmas," he said.
A
poll will soon be appearing on the Students’ Union website, www.cardiffstudents.com, to assess whether students would attend the event. The union is urging students to log on and vote to ensure the event goes ahead.
By Jenny Taylor Reporter
SIGNS HAVE sprung up around the Students’ Union threatening a £250 fine for unauthorised posters at street level. This follows a series of complaints from members of the public. The fine was imposed by the union’s general manager, Jason Dunlop, in order to tidy up the student area of Cathays. Communications and Community officer Emma Bebington backed the move, saying, "There are a lot of other people who are not students living and working in Cathays who want a nice community. "And at the end of the day, flyer postering is illegal anyway." But there are fears that the measure may increase the number of leaflets being distributed in and around the Students’ Union. While many students gair rhydd asked seemed happy about the clear-
ing away of the poster clutter, several questioned whether the new scheme will transfer more mess on to the steps instead. Second year Lucy said, “It’s not the posters that make all the mess here, it’s the leaflets that no one wants.” Despite this, Emma is confident that there will be no rise in leaflet distribution. The Union is currently working in conjunction with the council’s ‘Keep Cardiff Tidy’ scheme to eliminate both flyer postering and illegal leaflet handling. Distributing leaflets by other bars, clubs, and restaurants at the front or back of the union is only legal if they have paid to do so, or if they are sponsoring a union event. Plans are also in the pipeline for ‘bottle drops’, similar to those found in the city centre. These will provide a separate place away from the union building for clubs and societies to promote their events.
Editorial & Opinion
October 25 2003
Page 5
gropinion@cf.ac.uk
gair
CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY
By Tristan Thomas gair rhydd Editor
H
ow boring is student debt? Every week countless stories are published in gair rhydd and the national press about our hardship, but what does it matter when we’re all going to be long gone by the time top-up fees are introduced? Unfortunately, this was the prevalent student attitude before the government implemented tuition fees in 1997. And look where we are now. Our front-page story is frightening – it shows that the majority of sixth-form students do not see a university education as a sensible way to further their careers. They are being priced out of higher
rhydd EST. 1972
Student Rant
GAIRRHYDD.CO.UK
education. Of course, there will always be those who can afford tuition/top-up/madeup fees, but in accepting students on the basis of wealth rather than ability, universities are saying goodbye to the principle of education for all. But forget ‘principles’ and the airy-fairy wisdom that often accompany these arguments. With less young people in higher education Britain will suffer - a skilled work-force is vital for the future of our economy. And let us not forget that many of us will have children who will want to attend university. Are we willing to shoulder debts of up to £50,000 for them? It seems a shame to have to appeal to student selfishness. But when Cardiff Students’ Union is taking so few people to the NUS march, you have to wonder where student collectivism has gone. greditor@cardiff.ac.uk
Megan Conner
Tired of all this celebrity standard bashing
I
The reality of television
Pop’s seedier side By Chloe Rollinson
T
HE JUDGEMENT by Kingston Crown Court on Monday that left Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy £3,500 worse off and owing 120 hours of community service goes beyond the individual case to challenge the sugarcoated image that pop likes to project and prompts the question: when did pop go rock? Twenty-year-old Tweedy, who appeared as part of the Girls Aloud line-up at the recent Freshers’ Ball at Cardiff, was this week convicted of assaulting toilet attendant Sophie Amogbokpa in Surrey nightclub Drink. This image of the Popstars: The Rivals winner is vastly different from the girly, pink clad pop princess that the band’s
“No, really Mum, I was staying at a
management likes to promote. Rather, this Cheryl is one to whom late night drinking sessions and pub brawls have become the norm since her move from a Newcastle estate to the luxury of a penthouse London apartment. Perhaps the lads’ magazine favourite really should take some of that “good advice” that the band sang of in their follow-up single to chart topper Sound Of The Underground. While we are used to hearing of the latest wild exploits of Oasis band members, the head-butting of a photographer by wayward Jamiroquai front man Jay Kay, or the hissy fits of musical diva J-Lo, the pop scene has generally been untouched by this bad behaviour. But are the days of squeaky-clean Steps and virtuous S Club over? In stark contrast to his “ g r a n d m a ’s favourite” image, another musical reality TV star, young Gareth Gates, this summer admitted to alliances with the voluptuous, and everexpanding, Jordan. Mr Gates, only 17 years old at friend’s”: aw, bless the time of the
By Sally Phillips
F Tweedy: bad coat, bad attitude affair, bless ‘im, desperately attempted to maintain his boy-nextdoor persona by repeatedly denying the accusations of the glamour model. But, faced with the release of the page three favourite’s autobiography and her so-called proof, Gates was forced to admit to sleeping with the then five months pregnant Jordan. Cleverly used as a steppingstone to appealing to an older market, Gareth has successfully overcome his wild and misguided affair. Whether Miss Tweedy can make as much out of her lapse of judgement still remains to be seen.
AME ACADEMY, Pop Idol, The Salon, Born To Win, Fashion House... the list goes on but the truth is plain and simple: we are a nation engrossed in the phenomenon that is reality television. So, I ask, why do we persistently try to deny our hidden love for such shows? With 11 million calls in her favour, quirky Alex sailed through the final of the second series of Fame Academy - evidence enough that we seem to have a thirst for seeing complete strangers go into battle to achieve their dreams. Or is it secretly the sadistic pleasure in seeing others in pain, being defeated, their hopes shattered? Emerging from every corner, it is hard to hide from the media frenzy that surrounds the reality shows of modern television today, and audience participation is vital in its success. But at what point will we start living our own lives instead of being drawn into a commercialised world that snatches our emotions with cheap entertainment and wasted thrills?
AM SO sick of poncey prudish people whinging about famous females flashing their flesh. Like, get over it. If Jordan wants to flash her boobs, then let her do so in peace. She may not be as dignified as Delta or Dido, but for one, she is not a singer but a former page three girl, and two, what kind of profile do they have anyway? Serious about singing, but far from interesting - and frankly not worth reading much about, mate. Success and fame is not just about the music anymore: a profession is column inches, six inch heels and a good bust. I am not necessarily saying that every girl should pose and expose as these stars do. Some of us just don't have the goods, and even if we did, “doing a Holly Valance” probably would not be deemed quite as acceptable by the bouncers at Come Play on any given Saturday. It is like that poor love from Somerset, arrested for stripping off in Faliraki earlier this year - it just does not quite work as well when we mere mortals do it. Give these showbiz girls a break. Fame is a whole different kettle of fish to our everyday lives - celebrities survive on being beautiful and sexy, so just let them do their thing. Just don't let your little sister/girlfriend/mum/gran copy them. Girls, you have to admit it is kind of empowering. And lads? I cannot remember ever hearing any of you complaining anyway!
Need to get something off your chest? Fancy a rant? Email 300 words to gropinion@cf.ac.uk
Opinion
Page 6
October 25 2003
grcobley@cf.ac.uk
MARK
A VOICE YOU CAN TRUST IN A WORLD OF SPIN
Moaners on the March
S
TOCK UP ON YOUR PETROL all you car-owners, because the Fuel Tax Moaners are about to ride again in Cardiff! Not content with dragging the country to a grinding halt for three days in 2000, the ragbag army of con-artists, farmers and truckers that brought you so much misery have been trying to organise more chaos ever since. The latest scheme is to try to clog the arteries of Cardiff on Saturday 25 - the busiest day for shopping and for sports. The masterminds of this little plot the Welsh Road Haulage Association hope their mayhem will spread to the rest of the country. Boss Alan Greene bragged: “Somebody needs to kick things off. We’re in close contact with hauliers across the UK. “We want to show them the way forward. We are sick of the government ripping us off.” I wouldn’t get too worried, though. This latest desperate ploy comes after the ignominious failure of planned countrywide road protests a couple of weeks ago. Gordon Brown - that friend of drivers - raised fuel duty by 6p, leading the Fuel Moaners to announce a UKwide “car stop” at 8.30am on the Wednesday. Road safety groups denounced the idea as potentially lethal - but they
needn’t have fretted, because no-one stopped, anywhere. Considering the hysterical screaming of the con-artists in the press every time the trade unions try to organise a strike or two, the Fuel Tax Moaners get away with murder. Especially when its public support is so non-existent. They haven’t got a leg to stand on in any case. Road freight is one of the
He y, it can talk! Collected thoughts from trained chimp and leader of the free world George W Bush Howdy, y’all! I bin doin’ some readin’ this week. Hey, don’ look so surprised! I’m not so dumb as I look, y’know! No, really! Anyways, I bin readin’“A World Transformed”, which was written in 1998 by my good ol’ daddy about the first war on Iraq in 1992. He was Pressydent too, y’know. Anyway, what he had ta say surprised me a little bit. See fer yerselfs: “Trying to eliminate Saddam, extending the ground war into an occupation of Iraq... would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. Apprehending him was probably impossible... The coalition would instantly have collapsed, the Arabs deserting it in anger. There was no viable ‘exit strategy’ we could see, violating another of our principles.
Furthermore, we had been selfconsciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-Cold War world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the UN mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression. Had we gone the invasion route, the US could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land. It would have been a dramatically different - and perhaps barren - outcome.” Gee, I sure wish I’d read my daddy’s article a year ago! I’m a bit confused why he’s been supporting my war, but I guess it don’t matter. Daddy sure lied enough while he was in power, so I guess why should he stop now? That’s why they say: ‘Like father...’ See you next week!
most heavily-subsidised industries in Britain today. A £60bn road-building and roadmaintenance programme over the next decade is just the start. The roads also cost us £3bn to cover the costs of accidents, £11bn for the impact on health and £20bn in congestion costs for business. Over the past 20 years the cost of motoring in the UK has remained unchanged in real terms (it’s only increased in line with inflation), while bus and train fares have soared. It’s a vicious cycle. The incompetents who’ve run our “public” transport since privatisation have forced millions onto the roads. Then the government hikes up petrol tax to try and encourage us off again or the carbon dioxide we belch out will choke the planet. We’re going round in circles, but one thing’s for certain.
With the amount of cash the government spunks away on this expensive environmental dead-end, the Fuel Tax Moaners would be wise to shut up before someone notices. The fact is, petrol pollutes. Cars pollute. And the less we use them, the better. So there’s nothing wrong with high fuel tax. But instead of frittering away all this taxpayer’s cash on the roads, why won’t this Labour government take back our railways and spend the money building a public transport system that people actually want to use? BRITNEY: Should
be shot?
Jarvissimo! THEY’VE DONE IT AGAIN, everybody! For those of you interested in the continuing merry antics of everyone’s favourite railwaymen and student halls cock-up artists, Jarvis PLC, this week has been a beaut. They’ve just put the finishing touches to the UK’s biggest student accommodation contract: building and running 3,405 halls places at Lancaster Uni. The deal is worth a cool £339m. Their ability to keep the student gravy train running is puzzling when you consider that most of the real trains they touch come instantly off the rails.
While Lancaster Uni was busy showering them with cash, Jarvis were also being quizzed by Network Rail over accusations that they faked their own records to cover up dodgy repairs. Network Rail - Labour’s not-forprofit replacement for the failed Railtrack - has now dumped Jarvis and the rest of the private sector charlatans for its repair work. It reckons it can do a better job itself. So while Network Rail is giving Jarvis the well-deserved boot, our universities are busy welcoming this bunch of cowboys with open wallets.
Elsewhere... HAPPILY, IT’S BEEN a bad week for fat, unfunny loser Jim Davidson. Easily snatching this column’s Worst Comment of the Week Award, Davidson pulled out of a Plymouth show because “there were too many disabled people in the audience.” After his attitude provoked a firestorm of outrage, Davidson claimed it was because part of his act involved taking the piss out of the disabled and he didn’t want to offend them. So it would have been fine to rip it out of them if they hadn’t been there, would it Jim? Wheelchairbound exserviceman Ken Hull, 83, who went to the Plymouth show, summed it up: “I would not go to see him again. His attitude is disgusting.” Good on you, Ken. THIS MONTH saw more bonkers Yank politicians getting themselves into hot water. Kendel Ehrlich, wife of Maryland Governor Robert Ehrlich, was forced to apologise for saying she wanted to “shoot” Britney Spears. Quite what the lovely pop princess did to offend Ehrlich isn’t entirely clear. But what I want to know is why can’t we have political embarrassments as good as this in Britain? Oh wait, we have - he’s called Iain Duncan Smith. YOU CAN USUALLY spot the real Nearo-Nazi headcases when they attack the BBC as a “corrupt left-wing clique”. It’s a fave tactic of the BNP, the UK Independence Party, the Spin and even the more flaky elements among the Con-artists. This group of nutjobs regularly denounced the Beeb’s Iraq war reports as fresh evidence of leftwing, anti-American bias. In which case, the latest ITC report into media coverage should make interesting reading for them. Apparently, large numbers of Brits agree that the Beeb’s war coverage was unfair. They thought the BBC (along with ITV and Sky) had a British/ American pro-war bias.
AGREE? DISAGREE? EMAIL ME AT GRCOBLEY@CF.AC.UK AND IF IT’S ANY GOOD, I MIGHT EVEN PRINT IT
Political Debate
October 25 2003
Page 7
ssugr1@cf.ac.uk
menace Corrupt, inept and underhand Globalisation Global trade in labour destroying British jobs An analysis of corruption at the heart of the EU government
By Andrew Caldicott Political Editor
E
I
n last week’s Letters page, Marco Cristofolini asked me if I have any proof of European corruption. Well, the simple answer to that is "yes". Unfortunately I don’t have enough space to write about all of it, but I refer the reader to inspect press releases at the European Anti-Fraud Office at http://europa.eu.int/olaf for further information. For now I will outline just three recent episodes of corruption at the top level of this unelected, undemocratic bureaucracy. The first case refers to an insiderdealing scam spanning no less that three European countries. Eight people including a European Commission official were arrested this month in connection with a scandal involving £30 billion-a-year subsidies from the ridiculous Common Agricultural Policy. The official, who is a Dutch citizen, stands accused of accepting bribes for passing confidential information to grain dealers in France and the Netherlands, and has been charged with corruption, violation of professional secrecy and criminal conspiracy. This case is particularly embarrassing for the EU Commission, coming only weeks after the Eurostat scandal in which it is alleged that officials siphoned off millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money into secret bank accounts. The present Commission came to power in 1999 following the mass resignation of the previous Commission on corruption charges. The second case refers to the exLabour leader Neil Kinnock, who is now the European Commission vicepresident and champion of EU reform.
By Polly March
He is to be questioned by a group of MEPs regarding an alleged cover-up of mismanagement and cronyism in the aforementioned Eurostat scam. It is alleged that Mr. Kinnock dismissed complaints about corruption within Eurostat from Dorte Schmidt-Brown who "blew the whistle" on malpractice within the organisation and who has been subjected to intimidation. This is all the more embarrassing for Mr. Kinnock, who was well known for his "zero tolerance" claims towards corruption in the EU. This is not an isolated case of the intimidation within the EU. Another whistle-blower who caused the resignation of the whole of the EU Commission in 1999 was pushed into resigning in August 2002 after admitting defeat in trying to uncover corruption at the heart of Europe. He exposed one of the worst scandals in the EU’s history when he disclosed that there was prolific abuse in the highest echelons of the Commission,
mostly by the use of fictitious contracts to outside “consultants”, including one to the live-in “dentist” of Edith Cresson, the then French commissioner. He was punished by suspension on half-pay. None of the officials were punished with a custodial sentence. Hardly a deterrent for future commissioners tempted by the generous EU gravy train. Paul van Buitenen also detailed the harsh treatment of the Commission’s chief accountant, Marta Andreasen, who was removed from her post and officially disciplined after she disclosed that the £62 billion EU budget was “out of control”. It is unbelievable that the ruling body of an allegedly democratic pseudo-superstate remains out of the reach of the body democratically elected by the people of Europe to represent them. It should be pointed out that the Commission is wholly unelected, but they make decisions that affect your lives.
ver earned valuable money as a temp at a call centre? Well with National Rail Enquiries’ recent announcement that it is relocating its call centres to India, those days are numbered. Union officials believe this transfer alone will threaten more than 1,000 jobs at call centres scattered across Cardiff, Derby, Newcastle and Plymouth and have labelled the move an act of ‘crass stupidity’. Each year increasingly more businesses are being ‘outsourced’ eastwards. Among them are companies such as Global Telecom, Deloitte and Touche, HSBC, British Airways and Prudential. Now workers in India conduct anything from the processing of student loans to queries about utility bills and flight bookings. On last week’s The Money Programme - The Great British Jobs Takeaway, the BBC investigated this new economic phenomenon and how it is changing the face of global business. An independent study has predicted that at present 80,000 people work in British-run call centres in India and this figure is rising at 50% per annum. Now a telephone call to a British bank or insurer is as likely to be answered in Bombay as Bristol by staff with impeccable British accents. Potential workers anglicise their accents by watching Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady so that they can appeal to our nostalgia for British cultural imperialism. Employees are also encouraged to ‘soapwatch’ and keep themselves abreast of the news and football scores so that they can find a
common ground when reminding customers to pay their phone bills. Eastern relocation creates a 30-40% cost saving for individual UK businesses and the starting salary for an Indian call centre worker is £130-200 per month (just one tenth of the pay in a similar job in the UK). As a result of this cost-saving, the future for UK call centres has never looked bleaker. At present it is a major industry which employs about 500,000 people across 6,000 sites. However, the specialist consultancy, Mitial Research, has predicted that one third of Britain's larger call centres will shut down by 2005 with the loss of 90,000 jobs. Is there anything we can do to combat the massive redundancies this will cause? Mike Harding, the managing director of Mercer Oliver Wyman, sees cost as just one issue: “Companies go for the costs and stay for the quality.” India may be a developing country but its workforce is viewed as more hard-working and well-educated than their British counterparts. The average UK call centre worker is paid £12,500, but companies can hire graduates in India for one sixth of that. While the potential cost savings remain so enticing, British workers haven’t got a chance.
Devolution of fees W By Naomi Blight
ith what is said to be the biggest student protest ever taking place this Sunday, the controversial issue of student funding is prevalent in everyone's mind. This national protest is of obvious importance to all students; however, it is also important that people are aware of what NUS Wales are doing on a regional scale. On July 17, Jane Davidson, the Welsh Minister for Education and Life Long Learning, announced an agreement between Parliament and
the Welsh Assembly Government to devolve responsibility for higher education student support and the tuition fee regime to the Welsh Assembly. The Assembly has already promised not to introduce top-up fees until at least 2007, as well as higher education initiatives such as AimHigher and the Widening Access Agenda. However it is still of vital importance that the Welsh Assembly use its powers to vote against the White Paper in Parliament as the introduction of top-up fees in England will drastically affect Wales and the student population as a whole.
Join the debate Want to get involved? Interested in politics? Email gairrhydd@cf.ac.uk or come to the gair rhydd office
Letters
Page 8
October 25 2003
grletters@cf.ac.uk Letter of the week receives two free cinema tickets courtesy etting of UGC cinemas, Cardiff. If your letter is here, come on up to the office to collect them. We can’t be assed to chase you.
Little Jon talks big Dear gair rhydd, I was delighted to see in last week’s edition (11/10/03, p2) our local MP Jon Owen Jones saying how concerned he was about top-up fees, and the possibility of students from poorer backgrounds being put off going to university. It is certainly good to see the MP from Cardiff Central trying to stand up for students in his area, but the question is can we believe him? After a little research, I’ve discovered that our MP voted FOR tuition fees three times! He clearly wasn’t concerned about student debt then! Joe Carter (politics and history) When you discover that politicians couldn’t care less about anyone but themselves, think of the Parable of the Old Woman and the Snake (see Hunter S Thompson, or Google): "Lady, you knew I was a snake when you picked me up…”
Entry level student Dear gair rhydd, As a paper that has, in the past, championed the ‘fresher hater’ school of thought, I'd like to mention the fact that you are not alone. Call me paranoid, but whoever conspired to run a fire drill at 6 am on a Monday morning, as occurred today at Aberconway, must belong to a secret sect of fresher haters. The people involved in this (ie, the staff) were obviously taking the term 'fresher' from you because no one else gives a shit. No more fire drills please. Yours, shock horror, a first year. Think of it as a kind of "hazing" ritual. And count yourself lucky. If this were America, you’d be bent over, trousers round your ankles, while some chunky fraternity star quarterback rogers you, and forced to yell "Thank-you Sir, may I have another!", with his every thrust.
Smokescreens Dear gair rhydd, The combined efforts of the union pushing up drinks prices (justified apparently though no doubt to pay for those new fancy screens in the foyer) and some twats buying about thirty tickets at a time to re-sell at extortionate prices, means that a Saturday night spent at Solus isn't a bargain after all! Every year gair rhydd reports on countless cases where Cardiff students have been ripped-off by tyrannical landlords or organisations. With regards to the escalating Come Play ticket scam, am I the only one who is shocked that some scabby students have taken to selling on handfuls of these tickets, often at double the box-office price or more, in order to make a quick buck? Shame on you.
We're all in the same boat... on a budget (well most of us) and looking for a good and reasonably priced night out with our mates. Some might say I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face, but I won't be going to Come Play this Saturday. Yours, annoyed fourth year There plenty of other nights in Cardiff. Clwb Ifor Bach, The Toucan…etc. etc. I have been informed that the screens in the union generate revenue from advertising and the union have a deal with a TV company, so they’re paying for themselves. Allegedly.
‘They’re after me lucky charms’ Dear gair rhydd, I am deeply concerned about the principles of our union. When I came to university, I was under the impression that student unions were there to benefit students and that we had an input in the way they were run. I have clearly been misled in this belief. Last year I was a supervisor in the Seren Las. At that time, all employees but the manager and the supervisor of the Taf food bar were students. We were all employed by the student union, which was aware of our needs as a student, such as flexibility around working hours (especially around exam periods) and we were paid weekly in cash. This has now been lost with the introduction of a new franchised company taking over. The percentage of staff that are students has decreased, and those that remain are mostly old members of the team who I believe O’Brien’s were unwilling to re-employ. The menu that we created was specifically aimed at a student market, with cheap hot food. We
intended to provide affordable filling meals. Now students are unable to get a hot meal in any part of our union. This is despite the fact that there are two large kitchens (which I believe have been fully financed by the union) standing barely used! Not only the newly equipped kitchen of Seren Las (fitted with new fryers and microwaves last year) but also the kitchen in Solus, which was not fully utilised last year either (only used for occasionally for performers in the union). As a student café last year we tried to keep to the general ethos of student life with a £1.99 cooked breakfasts, burgers and fair trade goods. All of which have been lost with a commercial brand name appearing in our union. I have not returned to last year’s position largely because of this take over and the fact that current staff have told me they are unhappy with the new environment. What does this new development mean for our union? Will we have a Starbucks next, or will our Taf become a Wetherspoon’s? I feel very strongly that this move has been a management error; the loss of a successful student run café could ultimately end up with our facilities being cut.
The gair rhydd letters page Please email rather than post your letters in, remember kids - this week, paper is mostly for: the ancient art of origami... Arigato gozimasu. This week nobody likes... O’Brien’s. Most disliked gair rhydd staff member is Mark Cobley. Everyone hates the union, and one of you seems strangely preoccupied with koala bears. Everybody likes swearing. Fine by me, but some folks are objecting to it in print... Think of Marlon Brando’s monologue near the end of Apocalypse Now: The army won’t let anyone write “fuck” on their napalm bombs because it’s “offensive”... James Anthony in six different toilets. Of course, I can see his argument against justifying abstinence with religion to the non-religious, but Mark Cobley seems to be anti-abstinence - which frankly is retarded. And besides, the Christian belief is certainly not that sex is in any way ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong’. There is a large section of the student population that isn’t sleeping with anything that moves and smells of vodka (out of choice I should point out to avoid the usually well thought out reply). I’d always considered myself quite left wing, but if this is the representational ‘voice you can trust’ I think I’ll stop listening. Voluntarily abstinent second year
Becki, second year psychology Wetherspoon’s?! Let’s just take a moment to envisage a Cardiff Students’ Union with the pub equivalent of McDonald’s bang in the centre of it... There goes the neighbourhood. The Taf is as close to being a Wetherspoon’s as you can get without actually being one anyway.
Sex is evil, evil is sin... sin is forgiven? Dear gair rhydd, I am writing in response to Mark Cobley’s comments on sex education and his apparent dislike of abstinence. Could I dare suggest that current sex education policies really don’t provide all the answers? Some proposals for future sex education in schools suggest teachers promote oral sex to keep teenage pregnancy rates and STDs down - try and imagine your 12-year-old daughter being taught that. Excuse me for pointing out the obvious, but the only 100% reliable way to avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancy is to not have sex. More importantly though, when I sat through two days of enforced playing with cucumbers and the like at high school, what was completely missed out was a discussion of the nonphysical effects of sleeping around. You might be able to keep pregnancy down (though in reality it doesn’t seem to) but in my opinion the only way forward is to promote sex within long term relationships where partners respect and trust each othercurrent sex education misses this out completely. There’s a lot to be said for knowing that your partner hasn’t had sex with seven different men/women
Re. 21:8 (NIV): "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars – their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulphur. This is the second death." Rom. 1:18-32 (NIV): "…[W]omen exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones… In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion… although they
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know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death…" Sex education not the answer? The Bible says you’ll burn if you give head, and if you’re gay, you get Hell’s equivalent of double detention. ‘Immoral’ = dirty, ‘punishable by death’ = wrong. Incidentally, free Bibles are available from "Words of Truth": 01656 659 372. No kidding. Mark answers: I’m anti”Abstinence Only” sex ed. I happen to think kids should have all the facts about sex before they make whatever decision is best for them. I am against religious nuts like Dubya imposing their views on everyone else, and probably encouraging STDs and pregnancy by spreading ignorance and fear. It’s one thing to say “abstinence is one choice” but quite another to say “abstinence is the only option”.
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07791 165 837
please, please, please bring back seren las, Friends and a decent meal. How long will it take for the union to realise they have replaced a business that was just reaching it’s peak, with a tired and overpriced mess. We want justice! X x Ur already overstuffed existence. Think before you act, that is the question. peace out friends. Where have all the salmon gone?! Freshers will you stop getting a hardon over ComePlay - get a life and go to fucking town (so we can go) All women press the fish on a regular basis, just be honest ladies!
I’d like to announce that i am a goat and i’ve been living in the depths of cathays for 50 years now. I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff! Warning all freshers... the milk in Talybont shop is from an illegal guinea pig milking ring. They use tweezers! I can hear their squeaks of pain. It makes me weep. OK, that’s it. Texts this week were of an overall poor quality. If you want to see your words here, don’t swear, don’t chat mindless pap (unless it’s funny), and make it either thought provoking or relevant. We get in trouble if we say “Shit”, “Fuck” and “Bollocks” all the time.And we especially can’t say “C***” - see? it goes all starry...
Email your letters to: grletters@cf.ac.uk - gair rhydd will attempt to print any letters that I think are good enough. Apologies for those that do not make it due to space restrictions, or are shit. The views expressed in these letters are not usually those of the newspaper or the letters desk.
Letters
November 1 2003
Page 9
grletters@cf.ac.uk
The gair rhydd letters page
Yours respectfully, Mark, 2nd year History.
Letters is supported by UGC Cinemas, Cardiff All apologies: Dear gair rhydd, Nearly 2 years ago, in a mischievous mood, I decided to wind someone up. Being of Welsh descent, and knowing sufficient Welsh people to be aware of how easily provoked they are on the issue of their nationality, I picked this soft target. Now, for my part, I admit that this was cowardice. However, as a stalwart anti-nationalist (for example, I condemn the UK failing to enter Europe for reasons of national pride), the whole England/Wales thing has always been foremost in my mind. Especially when I felt so rejected here in what I had thought of as my second nation. So, I suppose, I add ‘retaliatory’ and ‘patronising’ to my list of crimes. I was, however, as many of you may recall, slated for these crimes in this paper at the time. I issued an apology then, which, while not entirely humble, was freely given. I was therefore quite offended to find, in this week's issue that the letter editor had decided to dredge my letter up again. Despite it saying at the bottom that letters may be omitted for reasons of space! Clearly someone thought of a better reply, but you were 2 full years too late. So I hope we can now let this lie. PS. In another letter, I was asked what is wrong with Britain today. The answer is simple: we've become too informed to believe in the farce that we call the "mother of democracies". At least, however, most of us are above the meaningless nostalgia for unenlightened times. PPS. I’m not racist, although one leading member of Plaid Cymru seems to be: "the English are buying holiday homes in Wales to escape from the Black and Asian communities in their cities". Yours, James Landon (the "wish I was Welsh" Alien) Bugger. Well and truly busted. The original letter went into a letters page in the first week of the semester, when my letterssack was lying decidedly flaccid and impotent. Nobody was writing in, because the term had just started - so I recycled a controversial past letter in the hope that: a) it would stimulate debate (which it did) and b) the original perpertrator had finished their course. When I took over at the start of this year, I made sure
civilization not seen since we rebuilt Germany and Japan from the ashes of a far greater war.
There’s so much wrong with this, I don’t know where to start. So I won’t. Instead, I invite one of the basket-weaving hippies from people and planet or some other better informed soul to respond.
that all letters are now via email, and are deleted as soon as they go in. I give you my solemn oath that this will not happen again. Heh heh.
WMDs: Weapons of Mass Deceit Dear gair rhydd, Apologies in advance, but I'm in rant mode. After a glorious summer, and excellent TV seeing Saddam overthrown, uni seems somewhat different, and it suddenly hit me why. There's no idiot student socialists running around handing out leaflets and organising how they would firstly prevent us going to war, and then end the war. Well the war was over pretty damn quick but I doubt they were all that pleased with the outcome. But, alas, they have not given up hope, now there’s "end the occupation" flyers plastered all over the place. I still find it hard to comprehend why some people still resent the fact that we went to war (300,000 deaths the Red Cross estimated Saddam had caused, wasn't it?). So we haven't found any WMDs. Who the hell cares now? So what if Iraqi oil was a big part of this equation? We still managed to defeat a dictator. I've heard students saying the UN should be involved. I agree - so does George W. Bush; it was the UN that told him to take a run and jump and that we're on our own in Iraq. Will it turn out alright in the end? No one knows, it may yet go tits up, but would that justify not taking out Saddam in the first place and giving the Iraqis hope? I think not. Whatever system of governance Iraq ends up with, I don't think anyone can realistically say that it’s going to be any worse for the Iraqis than the Ba'athist regime it has replaced, and the chances are it’s going to be much, much better. I've given up on the socialists. They fail to accept that socialism has gone the way of Ba'athism, and neither are coming back. However there are an awful lot of people that obviously didn't want war, and that's fair enough, but the war is over now. We have a chance to build a new, democratic, capitalist Iraq, prosperous and free, and I for one hope we succeed. Let’s ignore the idiotic ramblings of the far left; instead let’s hope that Coalition forces in Iraq manage a victory for democratic
Students: best before end... Dear gair rhydd, You see, in America it makes sense because the first year is called your "freshman" year. They have silly names like that there, along with sophomore, junior and all that guff, so it doesn't seem that stupid. The point is, our first year here at Cardiff is not called our freshman year, so why do we call these nonfreshman folk "freshers"? Is it because they are a refreshing change to the last year's stale student population, or because they are somehow getting more showers than the rest of us and thus smelling fresher? Perhaps these people wake up earlier in the morning, or are scientifically proven to get tired a lot less than your leading brand student? Or is it just because, being new, they are deemed fresh by default? If so, then the question must be asked: fresher than what? I mean, a second or third year student could be, depending on the quality of their vacation, just as fresh if not more so than a first year. Imagine a first year student who spent all summer desperately studying and reading up on the subject they are about to take a degree in, surely they are a lot less fresh than a third year who spent the summer again like a tabula rasa. Obviously the conclusion here is that before enrolment there should be some sort of formal testing to determine who is freshest and who is not so fresh, the outcome of which will give the true legal right to be called "fresher" to those who are legitimately fresher than the others instead of just taking such things for granted. Or maybe a card game, with high monetary stakes. Come to think of it, wouldn't a casino session be much more fun than the whole tired enrolment process? Such things trouble me greatly. But I guess it is best to be troubled greatly then to be merely troubled poorly and slightly half-heartedly, as if that which troubles couldn't really give a motherfuck about the troubling it is doing and might as well have stayed at home in bed. Still, it would be nice to know what's going on. Just generally.
Sticky rubber (duck) Dear gair rhydd, I went to Rubber Duck this week, had a good time, shook my arse like the funky mofo that I am, and left at closing time. When leaving, I had the usual affliction of all who choose to dance in Solus - sticky & spiky feet. This is due to the number of bottles just thrown on the floor, which break; spreading sticky shite and, more alarmingly, glass all over the floor. When I lifted my foot to assess the situation, I cut my finger quite badly. Obviously not the best end to a midweek sesh! I do not blame the bottle droppers, because we have NOWHERE to dispose of bottles! There’s not even any flat surfaces to dump them on, cos you can’t get near tables, and you don’t wanna stop jiving that long! A system which I've seen work in other clubs is to install big 'bottle banks'. Then you can simply dump the offending items into the banks, and the floor remains clean! Cheers, 'Injured & Sticky' Technically, you’re not allowed glass on the dancefloor anyway (sounds like a Michael Jackson song). And, the very reason you’re
not supposed to is because, as you found out, people cut themselves. Don’t take bottles with you when you’re out throwing shapes.
Politicians are your friends Dear gair rhydd, I was not so delighted to read the 'letter of the week' in the last edition of gair rhydd (25/10/03) and I would like to point out that Jon Owen Jones works tirelessly in order to get the best solution for everyone. I do not believe that Jon Owen Jones denied that he voted for tuition fees, and those meetings he has had with students (at which I have been present at least), he has always made his case for tuition fees. Out of all the politicians I have been involved with, Jon Owen Jones is perhaps the most sincere, and it’s the unaffordable and erratic policies of the Liberal Democrats that need to be questioned! Tom Neilson (Astrophysics, Labour Student) HAAAAhahahahahaaahaaha! Politicians! Sincere! Ha! This guy’s hilarious. But seriously, go and talk to those girls about appearing at the comedy club in Seren Las. You’ll have them in stiches.
07791 165 837 Leave rolls royce alone, they pay my dad’s wages- a wedge of which i piss away at the taf
Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy, and good with ketchup
Thumbs up to the english soc. footie team for actually scoring 2 goals this wk! only a 46 goal deficit now guys.
Dep-Ed: if u havnt SEEN the matrix, how do you know wot ‘overrated pretentious manque shite’ it is?
Stealage of the year! we stole an old lady from ponty who claimed to have killed people! ladies cricket rock! good girls. x
Piss off you smug bastard! If you won’t leave our girls alone at least learn to lie in and not wake us up! you greasy git luv44+96
Can somebody sack Bobber Hoddlienchenkiev! He’s crap.
I took your shoes, but u stole my heart. Where are u shoe boy? X
Yours fruitfully, Ernie Fullstop, Third year. “Ain’t nobody dope as me/I’m just so fresh so clean” (Outkast). It’s a fascinating conundrum. I say ‘fascinating’; I mean ‘vacuous’.
Email your letters to: grletters@cf.ac.uk - Planet of the Apes the original was a quality film. The quote comes from the end where Heston finally realises that he’s on earth. Tim Burton’s version was a pile of old toss, which is a shame, cos he’s a good director. “Re-imagining” my ass.
!"!#!$%&'(")*+!,--./,--0 HEMA KANJI FOR INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS OFFICER I am FRIENDLY, OUTGOING, CONFIDENT and determined to ensure that international students are welcomed, supported and assisted with all sorts of problems. MY AIMS: ! To represent and fight for your rights as an international student ! Campaign against visa fees ! Campaign against the increase of tuition fees ! Provide for equal opportunity and access to all facilities ! Further develop the already established buddy scheme ! Improve cultural awareness by more effectively promoting events like Global Village
Being an international student myself, I understand and appreciate most of the difficulties faced by international students. It would be a great privilege to represent you all as an international affairs officer.
HEMA KANJI A VOICE FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS
International Affairs Officer
João Martins Experience: ! 3rd year international student, ! President of People and Planet, a student society actively campaigning on important international issues, ! Membership of the Students Council helped me understand the intricacies of Union politics Aims: ! Campaign strongly against the recent Visa Renewal Charges deeply affecting International students, ! Build on successful events such as Global Village and create regular multicultural celebrations over the year, ! Support campaigns of international significance, …and ensure that all international students are able to have the best possible time at Cardiff University and thereby enriching the lives of all students from every cultural background.
REPRESENTING YOU, INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS, IN YOUR UNIVERSITY
INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS OFFICER
VOTE FOR TC - Tushar Choraria My Aims: " Enable international students to mingle with local students more easily by organising socio-
cultural events with the help of the Students Union. " Improve Global Village and make it more student friendly. " Campaign to increase the maximum legal working hour limit of 20 hours a week for international students. " Campaign for the reduction in Course Fees. My Experience: " President, S.I.S. Society (Cardiff), (Elected) 2003-2004 " Student Representative, Accounting Staff-Student Panel, Cardiff (Elected) " Actively took part in Global Village 2002.
BRINGING THE WORLD TOGETHER
Listings
Page 10
November 1 2003
grlistings@cf.ac.uk
Cinema - Club - Pub - Art - Theatre - Sport - Quizzes - Music - Comedy
Saturday01/11
Come Play @ Solus, SU 9pm-2am £3 (NUS) Rephlex Night @ Clwb Ifor Bach Bogdan Raczynski / Astrobotnia (Live) / Cylob DJ. 9pm. £6 adv. Jesus Christ Superstar @ The New Theatre Lyrics: Tim Rice, Music: Andrew Lloyd Webber, Directed: John Walsh 7.30pm; Matinee 2.30pm Twisted by Design @ Dempseys (upstairs) Alternative music night 8pm-1am £2.50 (NUS) The Mothership Convention @ The Toucan The Intergalactic Funk Federation brings you the best bands and beats. This week the Toucan residents ‘Quattro’ return to take pride of place alongside DJ Lions in the main room with Krissy in the Café Bar. Wales Festival of Remembrance @ St David’s Hall 7pm £7.00 Dave Gorman @ The Sherman Theatre Googlewhack Adventure 7:30pm £14.50 Pinocchio @ The Sherman Theatre Sherman theatre company11am, 2pm from £4 Glamorous @ Creation £5 (NUS) All Inclusive @ Liquid Pay on the door and pay no more! Dress code: Smart (no ripped jeans or trainers) Cheesey chart, RnB, commercial Dance £10 (NUS) Superfly @ Barfly Classic soul, funk, disco 10:30pm-2am £3 (NUS) The Moxie Pleanty @ Clwb Ifor Bach (Top Floor) Alternative Hip-hop, electro, bastard pop, hooligan house, funk, punk. Doors:11pm £3 (NUS) Bleuprint @ MolokoRetro disco, future house, funk, soul, rhythm+blues. Bar till 2am, drinks promotions all night. Free entry before 10pm Duelling Pianos @ Jumpin Jaks Music, Comedy and meaningless banter Okii hyoshi @ Metros Chunky Indie and Baggy beats with DJs Kimono O’neil and Johnny Akiro 9pm-3am RnB @ Bar Ice Free entry Party Night @ Bar Med Resident DJs 9pm-2am Funk Dulux @ The Lounge Funky US house and garage Free entry Bullet Proof @ The Coal Exchange Saturday Night Comedy @ Jongleurs
Sunday02/11 The Acoustic Lounge @ The Toucan The best local singers, songwriters and musicians play in an informal setting with open mic sessions from 8pm till 12.30am Evanescence @ Cardiff International Arena £16.00 Sunday Lunch @ Café Jazz 1pm-3pm Who wants to be a Clever Dick @ The Taf Pub Quiz kicks off at 7:30pm £3 per team Hektic @ Elements Sunday sessions. Hard house with resident DJ Shane Morris £3 Acoustic @ Toucan Taxi @ Moloko World music till 12midnight Free entry Smooth Jazz Sunday @ The Philharmonic Free Entry Acoustic Night @ Sam’s Bar £2/3 Acoustic Bite @ Journeys Atmospheric acoustic 11am-midnight DJ Joe Gulis @ Walkabout
Monday03/11
The Factory @ Solus, SU 9pm-2am Free before 11 £2 after (NUS) Slow Graffiti @ Clwb Ifor Bach Manitoba / Her Space Holiday / J Xaverre / Culprit One / Dj Lorbear 8pm. £6 adv. Cubanite @ St David’s Hall (main auditorium) 8.30pm £10 The ultimate salsa experience! An exhilarating combination of salsa dance class, dance displays, live salsa and samba bands, club DJ and audience dance participation. Dance Lesson 7pm-8pm £6 ‘Southern Fried’ @ The Toucan A new night of DJs and funky antics brought to you by the psychology society- Cardiff’s latest student night. A View form the Bridge (Arthur Miller) @ The Sherman Theatre Passion betrayal and tragedy From £10 7:30pm Live @ The Barfly Waterdown, Linea 77, The Hurt Process, Dopamine Doors 8pm £7.50 Adv. Saucy Monkey @ Creation £3/2 Poohyerpants @Liquid Student session, Cheesey chart, RnB, commercial dance 50p per drink before 11, £1 after. Casual dress £2 (NUS) Student night @ Evolution £3 (NUS) Smell the Glove @ Barfly Good-time rock and roll 11pm-2am £2 (NUS) Something Anything @ Moloko DJs play whatever they want. Bar till 2am drinks promotions all night Free entry Jazz Attic @ Café Jazz Jam night. Sign in on the door to play from 8pm £1.50 Simple @ The Philharmonic Free Mondays @ Exit Club Cheap and Cheerful chart night 7:30pm-2am £1.50/3 DJ Mix selector @ Sam’s Bar Live turntable action £3 Salsa night @ Bar Med Free food platter with every cocktail jug @ The Slug and Lettuce From 7pm Film Society @ UGC Meet in the UGC Bar at 8pm for the film at 9pm. See Cinema listings for details.
Tuesday04/11
Comedy Network @ Seren Las. SU Doors: 8pm Show 9pm £2 (NUS) The Sorrel Quartel @ University Music Deprtment Concert Hall 7:30pm, £3 (NUS) Vodka Republic @ Creation £2 (NUS) Bounce @ Barfly Drum and Bass 11pm-2am £2 (NUS) Rock Inferno @ Clwb Ifor Bach (upstairs) Rock, goth, metal Doors: 9pm £2.50 (NUS) I Hear A New World @ Clwb Ifor Bach (Downstairs) Electronica, psychedlia, downtempo, krautrock Doors: 10pm £2 (NUS) Open Mic night @ The Toucan 8pm-midnight Superstition @ Moloko Motown, soul, nujazz, disco, funk Bar till 2am happy hour drinks all night Free entry Funky town @ Stylus Commercial disco, RnB flavas 9pm-2am £2 (NUS) Chill out @ The Philharmonic Free Quiz night @ Club X Face Dr Beverley Ballcrusher for cash prizes! Table service on drinks from 9 so you can keep your heads together! 6pm11pm. Free Cheese nation @ Jumpin Jaks Student night 8pm-2am offyaface @ Metros Metal, rap, punk, ska, DnB with DJs Rod and Mr P £1 bottles and shots. No dress code 9pm-3am. Free before 11, £1.50 after. International night @ Journeys 4pm-midnight Salsa night @ Bar Cuba £4 a lesson
rhydd
gair
FREE
free word - EST. 1972
CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY
INSIDE
ISSUE 747. OCTOBER 25 2003
Cobley Love him or hate him, our resident “Richard Littlejohn for the left” rants about road tax moaners p6
grab! Win two weekend passes plus your accommodation for the Tribal Gathering grab! p28 Weekender!
TOP-UP FLOP
SCRAPPED: Wendy Sadler
Cardiff on the scrap heap By Clare Hepple Reporter
A CARDIFF University physicist is part of the first all-female team to take part in Channel 4’s series Scrapheap Challenge. Wendy Sadler, of the School of Physics and Astronomy, teamed up with two other women to form the ‘Iron Maidens’. Scrapheap Challenge brings together two competing teams to construct a working machine using any scrap material available. In a race against the clock, both teams have 10 hours to complete their contraption before the final test. All three are members of NOISE (New Outlook In Science and Engineering) – a UK-wide campaign to promote science and engineering to teenagers and discourage the stereotype of middle-aged men in white coats. The show, broadcast last Sunday, saw the Iron Maidens lose out to the competition. Despite this, Wendy said, "I had a great time. It was physically exhausting, and I ached a lot the next day, but it was a good learning experience. I really enjoyed it."
Debt will deter 85% of young people from uni say NUS By Peter Bramwell, Susan Doragh and Rosey Leech THE NUS has revealed an alarming 85 per cent of young people would not go to university if they were to accumulate £20,000 of debt. The statistics come from survey which investigated the attitudes of year 10 pupils on higher education. These are the first cohort to be affected by government proposals on top-up fees. To sceptics of top-up fees, the results vindicate the position that debt and fear of debt is a critical barrier to those from lower income backgrounds when considering applying to university. NUS President Mandy Telford said, "Fees and debt will deter the very people the government wants to attract to university. "Although 90 per cent of respondents believed in the power of higher
education as the route to a better life, they also believed education is a public service and that they had the right to progress to higher education should they wish." Other key findings from the study show that a third of those who wanted to go to university said they would change their mind if fees were raised to just £2,000 per year £1,000 less than the government
not to introduce top-up fees until at least 2007. “However, we remain concerned that some Welsh MPs may use the devolution of HE funding to sidestep the student support issue.”
K N BA
T P RU
has proposed. Natasha Hirst, NUS Wales President said, “NUS Wales has an excellent working relationship with the Welsh Assembly government and with Jane Davidson AM, and we have enthusiastically welcomed the Assembly’s commitment
The NUS’ study comes after a recent survey by the Times Higher Education Supplement provided a shocking insight into the future cost of university study. Fifty-five universities and colleges responded to the questionnaire, with 20 giving detailed information regarding how much they intend to charge for each type of course if legislation is passed.
Each indicated that they would be charging the highest bracket of fees. Among them were the University of Nottingham, Exeter University and Surrey University as well as Leeds Metropolitan University. Furthermore, fees for certain subjects may be higher than for others. Mandy Telford added, "First, we were told that top-up fees were being introduced because cash-strapped universities needed the money – yet this week Tony Blair said they were needed to raise extra money for
“Fees and debt will deter the very people the government wants to attract to uni” MANDY TELFORD
Will numbers in higher ed go down?
“This was really good for the boys’ confidence.”
Steve Hansen p33
Drugs in sport
IMG
The other side to the story as the debate rumbles on p 33
Get up-to-date with the finest league in the world p 35
1 November 2003 - Issue 748
WAR ZONE COME AND ‘AV A GO: Menacing Martin Evans shows the IMG charm
By Riath Al-Samarrai Sports Editor
By James Cole CARDIFF UNIVERSITY 6 SWANSEA INSTITUTE 3 THE UNIVERSITY’S FIRST XV stuttered their way to victory over Swansea Institute last Wednesday. An injury-weakened Cardiff side were disappointing and, at times, woeful. Despite dominating both possession and territory, Cardiff took the match by the narrowest of margins, winning 6-3. It was a performance the team will want to forget fast. The first period saw Cardiff camped
CELEBRATING THEIR EMPHATIC three goal comeback to halt Carbs A’s charge through the division, FC Real’s Martin Evans sends this provocative gesture to the big-hitters from the Business School. In a match that bound together the awesome and unsavoury elements of the beautiful game in its rawest form, viewers at the modest, often viciously hostile home to IMG football will have been wildly entertained.
Contentious penalty decisions, royal rumble style brawls, flailing elbows and scrappy goals are what make the league unique, generously replenishing what the game lacks in finesse, nets and, arguably, skill. But the IMG is back. Accompanying the swirling winds and horizontal hail will be another exciting season, where the gentlemen masquerading as the future of this country can legally return to their primitive best, slaughtering the sporting ethics that stand in the way of a good game. Jumpers for goalposts.
in Swansea’s half but they were unable to convert the pressure into points. The away side committed far too many handling errors and lacked clinical finishing in their opponents twenty-two. That said, Swansea’s forwards dug in, disrupted the tackle area and prevented the quick ball. The longer the visitors failed to score, the more resilient the home side’s efforts became. Rather than dispelling Swansea’s confidence early on, Cardiff instilled it. The teams went into half-time with the score at 0-0. The resilience shown by Institute in the second half was commendable, and despite having a man sent off early on they remained defiant.
Again, a multitude of handling errors stalled Cardiff’s efforts as they struggled to make their man advantage count. They rarely looked like penetrating behind and even when they did they failed to finish. After a period of sustained pressure Cardiff won a penalty in front of the Swansea posts and with time running out scrum half Rob Lawson duly kicked the three points. Once again, however, the hosts fought back, winning a penalty and levelling the score at 3-3. Another Lawson kick was to give Cardiff the win, but not before hearts were in mouths as a last gasp Swansea drop-goal fell only inches short.
email grsport@cf.ac.uk
BURSARIES TO BE ANNOUNCEBy Riath Al-Samarrai Sports Editor CARDIFF UNIVERSITY’S sporting superstars are being recognised later this week with the awarding of this season’s Sports Bursaries. The scheme, now in its seventh year, was set up by the Sports Council to reward the university’s elite sport stars. A.U. President Tom Brown, a beneficiary of the project for the last two years and now on the selection panel said: "Year on year the scheme is a great success at recognising and supporting Cardiff University’s elite performers. "The applicants interviewed this year were of a higher quality than ever before and they are a credit to the A.U. and the university.” This year there are many sports represented on the bursary scheme, including athletics, rowing, triathlon, judo, and golf. Both Natalie Lewis and James Nasrat have represented the UK in their respective 1500m and 400m disciplines, whilst another recipient, Katherine Lenagan, has been capped 25 times by Wales and appeared in the last three Six Nations rugby championships. However, applications for the awards have been limited. “One thing that struck me about this bursary scheme was how little funding it has, considering the number of top level sports people that study here. Understandably the bursary scheme can only accept applicants from Sports recognised by the Sports Council so as to not dilute the limited finance that it has to offer.” Brown added. The recipients of this year’s awards will be decided next Thursday in the SDU office on the third floor of the Students’ Union.
Cardiff Uni drive their way to another victory against the Jacks
GAIR RHYDD IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN ■ TEL: (029) 2078 1400 EXT. 434 ■ REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE ■ PRINTED AT SHARMAN IN PETERBOROUGH■ THE GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS ■ THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS ■ THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF, UNIVERSITY OF WALES ■TV STEVE-”IF MY COCK WAS BIG ENOUGH I WOULDN’T SUCK IT BUT WOULD AT LEAST HAVE A LICK”■ DRY YOUR EYES PETE■ I LIKE TO BE DRESSED AS A BABY AND SPANKED BY WHORES■
IMG Sport
November 1 2003
Page 35
grsport@cf.ac.uk
Cheating, broken bones and punch-ups. A normal week in IMG By Beca Murphy IMG Chair
FOR THE second week in a row it rained and John Jenkins FC lost another of their players through lack of calcium in their diets.
FOOTBALL RESULTS Group A Momed 3 Accountancy FC 2 Law B 3 Earth Soc 2 Cathays FC 0 Economics 9 Myg Myg 2 Optometry 4
Group B Carbs A 3 FC Real 3 English Soc 2 Uni Hallstars 17 AFCHistory 2 Xpresston North End 1 Irish FC 2 Christian Union 2
Group C Jomec n/a Carbs B Bute Park Utd 2 Afro-Caribbean Soc 5 John Jenkins 1 Mathletico Madrid 5 Planderlecht 3 Accountington Stanley 3
Group D Law A 0 Lokomotiv Engin 3 The George FC 11 Japsoc 4 Gym Gym 4 Chemsoc 1 Pharm AC 0 Athletico Roy 2
NETBALL RESULTS Group A Cardiff Uni B 21 English Soc 0 Law B 17 Medics 0 Optometry A 6 Cardiff Uni C 23
Group B Chemsoc 10 The Marines 7 Cardiff Uni A 21 Socsi 2 Pharmacy A v Optometry B (postponed)
Group C Economics 12 Sawsa 3 Law A 28 Pharmacy B 6 Gym Gym 7 Carbs B 4
Group D Psychology 22 Xpress Radio 0 Christian Union 9 Comsoc 9 Carbs A 13 CPlan 7
The IMG football injury list has never been so colourful. Two broken legs and a dislocated shoulder, and there’s only been three matches. Guys, invest in some milk and calcium supplements. The toll of Rubber Duck is kicking in I think. Law A were gutted with their 3-0 defeat against Lokomotiv Engin. Heard it was a bit of a dirty match boys, and not in the muddy pitch
way. And if dirty is the word to use, then the Carbs A match against FC Real may not be matched this term as allegations of cheating, a punch-up and a 3-3 draw left a sour taste in the mouths of Carbs A, who had led 3-0. Economics and The George obviously have the taste for scoring goals. Economics beat Cathays FC 9-0, and The George FC karate kicking Japsoc’s ass 11-4 (bad pun I know). Yet again Pharmacy A netball didn’t get a match, but this time they at
least weren’t booted off court after Optometry forgot to clean their glasses and mixed up their match times. But never fear, the match has been re-scheduled for Sunday November 9 at 7pm at Talybont. Elsewhere, a close match was played between Comsoc and Christian Union, with the final score tied at 9-9. Cardiff Uni A, B and C just love notching up their goals, each team managed at least 20 scores, nice one girls.
FEATURED MATCH: Carbs A V. FC Real By Thom Airs
I’m looking forward to seeing which division the teams will be in at the end of term. Another win for Carbs A, beating Cplan by 13-7, was enough to keep them at the top of their group. The same goes for Economics, who are also at the top of their group after beating Sawsa 12 – 3. The league tables are starting to take shape and teams are staking claims for the top divisions next term, but anything could happen during the last two games. We’ll just have to wait and see.
FOOTBALL WEEK 4 Group A
Photo: Riath Al-Samarrai
Momed v Myg Myg Law B v Optometry Cathays FC v Accountancy Economics v Earth Soc
CARBS A 3 - 3 FC REAL Entertainment value 8/10 Carbs A
Group B
James Beattie 7, Paul Anscombe 8, Chris Jones 7, Pete Bramwell 7, Ryan Brignull 9, Anthony Stevens 7, Gareth Wood 9, Matthew Gorbo 7, Andrew Sergeant 7, Dan Norman 6, Mark Ely 7
Carbs A v Irish FC English Soc v Christian Union AFCHistory v FC Real
FC Real
Jomec v Planderlecht Bute Park Utd v Accountington Stanley John Jenkins v Carbs B Mathletico Madrid v Afro-Caribbean Soc
Xpresston North End v Uni Hallstars
Group C
Matthew Stone 8, Hywel Griffith 6, Gareth Evans 7, Adam Perry 7, Martin Evans 8, Johnny Marsh 8, Dave Murray-Jones 7, Mafiuz Miahe 7, Tom Workman 6, Steve Abrahms 9, Ric Thorneycroft 7 Star Man: Gareth Wood: Showed great vision and awareness in midfield. Brignull at right back ran him close for the award. THREE DRAMATIC second half goals from FC Real forced a draw in this fiery top-of-thetable IMG game. The pitch was classic IMG, with trough-like midf ield and greasy flanks, but this didn’t stop Carbs from attempting to play a swift passing game early on. After concerted pressure down the Carbs left it was perhaps surprising that the opening goal came from their right back. On the edge of the area, Ryan Brignull struck a sweet volley that ricocheted off a Real defender as it flew past the helpless Matthew Stone. Carbs soon doubled their lead with a scrappy goal that was even-
Group D Law A v Pharm AC The George FC v Athletico Roy Gym Gym v Lokomotiv Engin Chemsoc v Japsoc
CALM AFTER THE STORM: Match was marred by brawl tually poked over the line by captain Chris Jones. A third goal came on 20 minutes as a Real defender looped a header into his own net. At 3-0 the game lumbered through to half-time and continued at a pedestrian pace well into the second half. However, in the 71st minute, and in keeping with the game’s theme of unorthodox goals, a corner from Real’s Johnny Marsh eluded everyone on its way to goal. Carbs’ nerves were further tested minutes later as a great flowing move culminated in a calm volleyed finish by Gareth Evans. At 3-2 and with 20 seconds to play, James Beattie in the Carbs
goal brought down Marsh in the area and the game finally erupted. Players from both sides flew into a 20-man brawl with allegations of cheating and poor time-keeping accompanying the pushes and punches. The ball was eventually placed on the penalty spot and Steve Abrahms coolly slotted the ball home to level the scores. After the match the Carbs captain Chris Jones seemed upbeat despite bemoaning the "cheating" of the Real official. Real clapped themselves off the pitch but were unhappy with "a below par performance against a complacent Carbs team".
NETBALL WEEK 4 Group A Cardiff Uni B v Cardiff Uni C Law B v Optometry A English Soc v Medics
Group B Optometry B v Socsi Cardiff Uni A v Chemsoc Pharmacy A v The Marines
Group C Economics v Carbs B Law A v Gym Gym Sawsa v Pharmacy B
Group D Psychology v Christian Union CPlan v Xpress Radio Carbs A v Comsoc
GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS - GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS-GR SPORT FOCUS - GR SP
GR SPORT FOLIO
Georgie Reames University Lacrosse Team By David Williams
NOW IN HER second year, lacrosse player Georgie Reames is one of the most successful sportswomen at the University. The 19-year-old from Stratfordupon-Avon, who is one of Cardiff ’s
bursary award winners, has represented Wales at under-18, -19 and -21 levels. "At my secondary school you had to choose between hockey and lacrosse and I was pretty much at the
same standard at both. I thought I’d go for lacrosse which has proved to be pretty good." Georgie, who studies Spanish and Ancient History, is also one of the central figures of the University team and is confident of a good season. "We’ve got a team that I’m really hopeful for. This year we’ve got two England players and a couple of Welsh internationals and a lot of county players. It’s just a case of playing together and getting to know each other." As well as being at the heart of the Lacrosse Club’s notorious Wednesday night celebrations, Georgie is one of the few sportspeople at the University to have competed at a World Cup. "I played for Wales under-18’s a couple of years ago and then for the
under under-19’s in April in America. The 140 degree temperatures were just unbelievable. Every ten minutes we had to have a water break. "For me, to be up there with the Americans was quite cool. It was good fun." Despite playing at the top in her age group, she is still hopeful of going one better and playing at the highest level in her sport. "I wouldn’t mind playing in the under-21 World Cup in a couple of years, then a senior’s World Cup. I’d like to finish it all off and get to the highest point I possibly can but I’ll be 23 or 24 by then." Georgie’s progress in a sport which gets little coverage nationally is also owed partially to the bursary award
which she has been given for the last two years. "It’s really good. I can get free access to the gym and money that goes towards equipment. Every couple of Thursdays we have an evening where we all get together. I’m looking forward to it this year." It looks as if another of the University’s shining sporting lights could be on her way to the top. Upcoming gair rhydd interviews will include footie ace Gaz Nettleton. We will also be talking to more of the university’s bursary award winners like Georgie Reames. So make sure you pick up the next issue to learn more.