gair rhydd - Issue 801

Page 1

gair rhydd

FREE

GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

Media look at the rise and rise of the very 21st century phenomenon of podcasting Page 21

RECONSTRUCTION: James Perou

In the week that the NME publish their Cool List, TV Desk decide which telly luminaries make it into their own pantheon of Cool Page 23

ISSUE 801 November 28 2005

By Charissa Coulthard News Editor POTENTIAL IMPLICATIONS of the 24-hour licensing laws were highlighted last week after a rape case at a Welsh university campus was abandoned because the alleged victim was ‘too drunk’. The 21-year-old student from Aberystwyth University admitted on the second day of the trial that she was too drunk to remember whether or not she had consented to sex, resulting in the case collapsing. The verdict has since caused

national outrage, with legal experts branding it ‘utterly wrong’ and Welsh politicians calling for changes within rape laws. The court heard that the alleged victim was escorted home by student and part-time security guard Ryairi Dougal, 20, after getting drunk on vodka and wine at a party last summer. She later admitted she felt ‘more drunk than ever before’ in her life. After two days she confided in a university counsellor – who then alerted police – after experiencing flashbacks. She claimed that she passed out and when she briefly

came round, ‘something was happening but I didn’t know what’. Mr Dougal, of County Donegal, Ireland, denied allegations, insisting she had agreed to have sex with him in the corridor outside her flat in Aberystwyth halls of residence. This was the first time the student was aware they had had intercourse. He claimed she had been willing to partake in what his barrister Stephen Jones called ‘steamy, passionate, spontaneous sex’, and also claimed the drama student had flirted with him, saying: “I did not know you were so handsome.”

But the alleged victim continued to deny giving consent and said during the trial: “I’m clear in my mind I would not have consented. If I had wanted to sleep with him I would have taken him the few steps to my bedroom.” During cross-examination she admitted she could not remember anything about the events that took place and could not definitively say if she had agreed to sex or not. She told police: “I feel I am to blame because I got so drunk I could not remember the events.” Barrister Huw Rees claimed the prosecution would have to abandon

the case due to the circumstances. “She could not remember giving consent and that is crucial to our case,” he said. “The question of consent is essential … drunken consent is still consent. That was fatal to the prosecution case.” The judge, Mr Justice Roderick Evans, agreed with the prosecution to drop the case and directed the jury to bring in a not guilty verdict – ‘even if you don’t agree’ – at Swansea Crown Court last week. The judgement’s coincidence

Story continued on Page 4


Page 2

November 28 2005 news@gairrhydd.com

At

BABY a glance By Katie Kennedy Reporter

November 28 2005 News Editorial & Opinion Letters Geordie Politics Taf Od Health Science/Environment Interviews Grab! Media Dear Amber Television Five Min Fun Jobs & Money Listings

1 8 10 11 13 14 15 17 18 19 21 22 23 31 33 34 36

EDITOR Tom Wellingham DEPUTY EDITOR ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR CREATIVE EDITOR NEWS POLITICS EDITORIAL AND OPINION SPORT LISTINGS TELEVISION LETTERS GRAB TAF-OD SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT MEDIA HEALTH JOBS AND MONEY PROBLEM PAGE FIVE MIN FUN SCOPES HEADS OF PHOTOGRAPHY SUB-EDITORS PROOF READERS CONTRIBUTORS

A PREGNANT woman was forced to give birth on the side of a Cardiff road when her taxi was involved in a four car pileup. The 20-year-old woman

BUMP

had no other option than to give birth on the side of busy Eastern Avenue, Cardiff, last Thursday, as hundreds of cars and lorries drove by slowly. An ambulance crew arrived at the scene and helped her deliver the baby. The new mother was then taken to the University Hospital

of Wales in Heath. An ambulance spokesman said: “We were told there was a baby being delivered from one of the cars. The first ambulance arrived and the baby was born on the side of the road.” Both mother and baby, from Llanrumney, are said to be doing well.

CRASH DELIVERY: Baby born on busy road

Looking to expand By Claire Bonham Reporter CARDIFF UNIVERSITY is planning to take control of a city centre police station. The University is in talks to buy the station in King Edward VII Avenue, following South Wales Police’s plans to build a new occupancy in Butetown. The station, which is located close to Bute and Glamorgan Buildings, is the latest in the university’s expansion plans. Since it merged with the University of Wales College of Medicine, Cardiff, it now has 5,000 staff, 22,000 students and an annual turnover of £300m. Development plans have been discussed between First Minister Rhodri Morgan and Cardiff Council leader Rodney Berman. Confidential minutes of the meeting were released under the Freedom of Information Act. Rhodri Morgan announced that “Cardiff University

was looking at Cathays sidings site as a solution to virtually all of its land/accommodation needs for the next ten to 15 years.” He added: “This site would effectively link the current campus to the University of Wales, Heath.”

The development will have a positive effect on all students, as surely the expansion must cover union bars too. And if plans go ahead Cardiff could soon be on its way to rivalling Manchester as the UK’s largest university.

Fishy business By Joss Duggan Reporter A CARDIFF man being held in police custody was charged with armed robbery and illegal possession of a firearm last week. The 37-year-old stands accused of robbing the Victoria Fish Bar, Whitchurch, on Tuesday 15 November. The man’s 17-year-old son was also involved in the incidents but was released without charge after police questioning. Police have issued an appeal for information on the weapon used in the robbery: “Our prime concern now is the retrieval of the weapon,” said Detective Sergeant Stuart Adams. It is thought that the weapon used was a double-barrelled sawnoff shotgun with a wooden handle. The police are also investigating other alleged attacks on a house on Salmon Close, Penylan, and on Wellfeld Road in Roath, where a man was held and robbed at gunpoint. “They went to Salmon Close with a specific reason, which we are still trying to establish, but the attacks at Wellfield Road and Old Church Road are more random,” said Acting Detective Inspector Dorian Lloyd. “What the men were doing between each of the incidents is not clear. “They could have been driving around looking for their next target or keeping an eye on the next location. “Armed robberies are rare, but to have linked offences like this is unheard of in Cardiff.” ADI Lloyd continues to lead the investigation with a priority on finding the weapon involved in the incident. He said: 'It might be that it was stolen in a burglary but the owner hasn't reported it…we need to know where the gun came from”.

EXPANDING: Cardiff University is looking to enlarge its campus

ADDRESS

A soapbox for the views of Cardiff residents

ADVERTISING EMAIL WEB LOCATION

Name: Location: Title: PRINTED: SHARMANS OF PETERBOROUGH

How long have you owned Baguettes and Bagels Two? I have owned this shop for four years. I used to own one on Salisbury Road for about 12 years called ‘Baguettes and Bagels One’, but I’ve recently sold it. I don’t have any plans to buy another sandwich shop.

How many of your customers are students? I think about 80% of our customers are students we get quite a lot of them. What do you think of the students you serve? They are friendly and polite, and they can be quite funny. I like them

when they are sober, but not when they get drunk! Luckily I don’t live in the student area anymore so I don’t get woken up by them at 2am. What is your most popular choice of sandwich filling? The chicken and bacon baguettes are a definite

favourite. Although the dogs that we feed in the mornings seem to like the left-over sausages. What are your opening hours? We’re open 9.30 am until 4.00 pm weekdays and on Saturdays. Interview by Parrie Lewell


Page 3

November 28 2005 news@gairrhydd.com

Little Cardiff

MONSTER: Charlize Theron

By Claire Bonham Reporter A VILLAGE IN Pakistan devastated by the recent earthquake is to be renamed ‘Cardiff’.

NEW CARDIFF: Pakistan’s latest village

F ilm fest By Kerry-Lynne Doyle Reporter

Somewhere nice to sit and read the paper

THE ISSUE of violence against women is the focus of a film festival being held in Cardiff this week.

OLD ISSUES of gair rhydd have been recycled in a unique way by Cardiff architecture students.

Monster Hotel Rwanda

Nil by Mouth

How a modern lifestyle could give you cancer By Helen Thompsonn Reporter WALES COULD reduce its cancer incidence by a third if its population cut nine risk factors out of everyday life, US experts have discovered.


News

Page 4

November 28 2005

news@gairrhydd.com

Story continued from front page

SCANDAL Cover-up claims over student debt research

By Caroline Farwell News Editor UNIVERSITY VICE-CHANCELLORS have been accused of suppressing vital research on student finances during the general election. Universities UK, the organisation for university chiefs, were said to have cut ‘politically highly contentious’ parts of study it had commissioned on students’ attitudes to debt and the negative impact of term-time employment. The report, published in December 2003, confirmed that fear of debt was deterring potential students and was said to link students’ term-time employment with poorer performance. It was revealed in The Times Higher Education Supplement that Universities UK (UUK) wanted to

delay the publication of aspects of the report to ‘minimise negative publicity’ in the run-up to the May 2005 general election. UUK, a stronger supporter of the Government’s top-up fees policy, said it would be wrong to say the work was ‘suppressed’. A spokesman said: “The material regarded as ‘politically contentious’ referred to statements made by the researchers not based in research evidence but on speculative sections about the possible impact of the government’s reforms. “It is true that at that point, we looked for a date which avoided the party conferences - when things tend to get lost anyway.” Unions representing lecturers and students, which opposed the government’s plans for top-up fees, say the saga is extraordinary.

Kat Fletcher, National Union of Students’ President, responded to the reports by describing UUK’s behaviour as ‘outrageous’. She said: “Attempting to block this report shows that the top-up fees policy is not based on what’s best for students, but rather what fits their own ideologies and agenda.” Matt Waddup, assistant general secretary of the Association of University Teachers said it was ‘extraordinary’ that UUK had been trying to suppress the research when lecturers and students were uniting to fight the top-up fees bill. It’s unclear how much of the report survives, but the original version said that the future impact of the new fees and support package on students’ paid employment was ‘difficult to predict’, but that the issue would remain ‘part of the landscape’.

with the relaxation of drinking laws and subsequent concerns over binge drinking – has raised further worries that women who are raped when drunk will think twice before coming forward, believing that they will lose the battle to bring their attackers to justice. Leanne Wood, Plaid Cymru AM and former chairwoman of Welsh Women’s Aid said: “Only 5.6% of reported cases end in the rapist being convicted in court. [This] has fallen from 32% in 1977.” The shocking findings were explored further in a recent poll on attitudes to rape, in which 23% of people in Wales and the south-west of England believed that women were partly responsible for being raped if they behaved flirtatiously. A similar percentage thought they were also to blame if they were sexually promiscuous, wore provocative clothing or were drunk. Wood added: “In what is meant to be a civilised society, these statistics show we are becoming less civilised. “A woman should be able to get drunk if she wants to without fear of being raped. Men should not be given the impression that it is acceptable to have sex with a woman who is too

drunk to consent.” The issue of consent has sparked a national debate about the judge’s verdict. Labour MP Vera Baird stressed that, under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, the judge’s ruling could not stand because a person must have ‘freedom and capacity’ to give consent. She then emphasised that the alleged victim was drifting in and out of consciousness, and therefore was not physically capable of consenting. Yvonne Taylor, chief executive of The Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre added: “[The judge’s] words are not backed up by the law. “The knock-on effect is appalling – it gives the green light to rapists that it is okay to get women drunk and have sex with them because it is not rape.” Assembly members are now highlighting the need for rape laws to be changed so that accused men have to prove that consent for sex was given – a law that is already existent in America. The Lord Chancellor and the Director of Public Prosecutions are to be asked to look into the case. A spokesman for the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) said: “The judge said he would have stopped the trial if we hadn’t. We have called for a report from prosecuting counsel.”

Parliamentary praise CARDIFF CENTRAL MP Jenny Willot has publically congratulated gair rhydd in the Houses of Parliament. In an early day motion, the Liberal Democrat MP praised the paper for its success in the Guardian Student Media Awards held earlier this month. This is the second time gair rhydd standards have been praised in parliament, the first being over ten years ago.

The long armed law By Richard Clarke Reporter A NUMBER of senior Welsh police officers have predicted that it is ‘only a matter of time’ before all police are armed in Wales. The statements come after PC Sharon Beshenivsky was shot in Bradford last week. Her murder has caused many in the force to reconsider the current policy of response to firearms incidents. Wayne Baker, secretary of the South Wales Police Federation,

cited the ‘growing use of firearms and the terrorism threat’ as reasons for the move to routine armament, despite conceding that he must ‘step gently’, after a recent survey showed 80% of his officers in opposition to the move. The statements have also been met with some external criticism. South West Wales AM Peter Black said: “We already have armed response units to deal with firearms incidents. “But arming all police would lead to an escalation because more criminals would feel a need to arm themselves.”


News

November 28 2005

Page 5

news@gairrhydd.com

By Charlotte Stonebridge Reporter A CARDIFF youth needed 20 stitches after being viciously hit in the face with a bottle after a night out in Cardiff city centre. Richard Withey, 21, was enjoying a night out with friends on St Mary Street on September 12 until closing time when he was attacked. The incident happened at around 2am outside the K2 nightclub. The glass from the bottle cut his face from his eye to the top if his lip. Richard said: “Someone hit me with a bottle, I got him in a headlock and then three of this bloke’s mates beat me up.” His next memory of the attack was being rushed to the University Hospital of Wales in an ambulance. He added: “I had to stay in hospital for two nights because I had lost a lot of blood. “The worst pain was a couple of days later when my face was completely swollen. “I was drinking soup through a straw.” A full investigation into the assault is taking place and CCTV images are being looked at. Police are now appealing for witnesses with any information to come forward. Detective Constable Jo Harris said: “This is an isolated incident and not a true reflection of Cardiff city centre on a Friday night.” Chief Inspector Jay Dave added: “We have one of the safest cities in the UK and are disappointed whenever anybody is injured. “From January to October this year there were 10 serious woundings on average each month which is a 20 per cent drop over a threeyear period.”

Modern medics

NAFF TRAIL

By Lindle Markwell Reporter A CARDIFF student has been viciously attacked and robbed on the Taff Trail. The UWIC student was walking down the path around 5.20pm on Saturday 19 November when he was accosted by four young men on push bikes who demanded that he hand over his mobile phone. When the student refused to do so, the youths became violent, punching him in the head before stealing his phone. The violent attack left the student shaken, although he did not have to be hospitalised.

By Sarah Bellingham Reporter

Police have not arrested anyone in association with the attack, but enquiries are ongoing. PC Robert Keohane told gair rhydd that although 'street crime in Cardiff is fairly rare', places like the Taff Trail are notorious for attacks and should be avoided. He stressed: “Students living at Talybont do not need to use this path at all, as they can walk up North Road to get home from town and through Talybont grounds if they need to get to Tescos.” As the daylight hours continue to shorten the possibility of a rise in street crime increases and PC Keohane urges students to take measures to safeguard against an attack.

PC BOB’S GUIDE TO AVOIDING STREET CRIME ! Stay on main roads because they are better lit and there are other cars and pedestrians about. ! Walk in groups, even if this means waiting around for a bit. ! Don't have your iPod blasting or you won't hear robbers approaching you. ! Stop if you have to take or make a phone call. If you lean against a lamp-post or some railings you will be able to survey your surroundings and an attacker is less likely to be able to take you by surprise.

PHOTO: Luke Pavey

Glass attack

A CARDIFF University medical student took a step back in time this summer to experience medical training 1950s-style for a new reality TV show. Nerys Conway, 21, was chosen after a nation wide search to appear in the new BBC show Thoroughly Modern Medics. Nerys, along with five other students, was trained under the guidance of series registrar Dr Jonathan Belsey in a recreated 1950s-style ward in Belfast. The production team aimed to keep the show as true to life as possible, and Dr. Belsey has admitted that his methods were often brutal. He said: “In the 50s it was education by humiliation.” After dealing with common ailments of the time, such as TB and polio, and using old-fashioned methods including the use of leeches to drain blood, Nerys has admitted the experience was difficult. She said: “I definitely think it has toughened me up.” The students also had to adhere to the ethical practices and sensibilities of a typical 1950s hospital during their stay. The show is predicted to bring to light recent issues surrounding the NHS, including ward hygiene. Nerys told how the 1950s doctors were not required to use gloves, failed to wash their hands when moving from bed to bed and used mouth pipettes for urine samples. After the experience of 1950s medical training methods, Nerys described Cardiff University's medical training as ‘superb’. Thoroughly Modern Medics begins on Monday 21st November on BBC2 at 3:30pm.

By Jon Mackrell Reporter A MAN HAS BEEN injured in Cardiff city centre after being trapped under a bus, just days after another fatal bus crash took place in the same area. The incident occurred on Wood Street, close to where Daniel Thorne, 25, was killed only days ago. The man, whose identity has not been revealed, is now recovering in hospital. He suffered severe leg injuries when he was hit by a Cardiff Bus. The latest accident took place on the evening of the Wales vs South Africa match in the nearby Millennium Stadium. The death of Daniel Thorne also

occurred following the Wales v Fiji Rugby International. Cardiff Bus, which owned the buses involved in both accidents, has not claimed any responsibility. Graham McCarthy, a spokesman for Cardiff Bus, said: “We are fully co-operating with South Wales Police in their investigation into the incident and we will be carrying out our own review. “Initial investigations suggest that the driver was carrying out his duties in line with company policy.” Jenny Randerson, Liberal Democrat AM for Cardiff Central, said: “It is a highly dangerous part of the city because at that time of night, the place is swarming with pedestrians going from clubs or being dropped off by minibuses and there's a

heavy mixture of buses, cars and taxis. “It's a very tragic situation not only for the affected families, but also the impact on the drivers must be considerable as well. “I think that Cardiff Bus needs to have a discussion with police to find out if there is anything that can be done to provide a bit more order in the area.” Police have appealed for witnesses to contact the Roads Policing Unit at Cardiff Bay on (029) 2052 7226. DANGEROUS: The busy junction INSET: The fatal scene a few weeks ago

PHOTO: Luke Pavey

Bus tragedy strikes twice


World News

The British glam rock star was taken into custody by Vietnamese police as he attempted to board a plane at Ho Chi Minh City last Saturday. A manhunt for the singer was launched after officials spoke to a 15year-old girl they had found at Glitter’s home in Vung Tau. During questioning on Monday, Glitter, formally known as Paul Francis Gadd, denied accusations of having had sexual relations with two Vietnamese girls, one thought to be as young as 12-years-old.

He maintained that he had just been teaching the girls English, and according to the official Thanh Nien newspaper, Glitter claimed: “When they met me, they all told me that they were older than 20.” Glitter’s lawyer, Le Thanh Kinh, has insisted that the reports are unfounded, adding ‘hearsay is not considered to be proof in court’. However, as investigations continue, Glitter is expected to be detained for at least one week. Police statements made by the girls in question reportedly testify that they were involved in underage sex with the 61-year-old rocker at his coastal home. It is unknown whether or not the young girls were paid to engage in sexual acts.

Vietnamese law states that if Glitter is found to be guilty of these charges then he could face up to 12 years in prison, or worse, if he is convicted of rape he could be looking at the maximum death penalty before a firing squad. A police officer in Vung Tau said: “Having sex with a 12-year-old girl, regardless of whether he had her consent, is still considered child rape under Vietnamese law.” During 1999 Glitter served two months in a UK jail after being charged with possessing child pornography. Later, in 2002, Glitter’s residency in Cambodia was cut short after Cambodian officials decided to deport him, however the reasons for this expulsion are as yet unknown.

World News in Brief

The FAO annual report says that nearly six million children in third world countries die every year as a result of hunger or malnutrition. The report also suggests that international targets for reducing world hunger and disease may not be met.

At a food summit in 1996, world leaders announced a plan to halve the number of hungry people by 2015. But the Director General of the FAO, Jacques Diouf, says this promise is likely to be broken as the number of undernourished people is climbing by a huge five million a year. “Bluntly stated, the problem is not so much a lack of food as a lack of political will,” said the report. The problem is overwhelmingly located in the Middle East and North Africa which contributes to 94% of all

world hunger. This year’s report concentrates on the wider impacts of people going hungry, and the absolute necessity to provide more food for countries in need. Most deaths among children are caused by conditions like malaria and pneumonia, but victims would survive if only they were not already weakened by lack of food. If each of the countries continues at the current pace only South America and the Caribbean will reach the promised Millennium Development Goal.

This failure in hunger results will also infiltrate other millennium targets such as education and health. Malnourished children start school much later, and finding it difficult to learn, they rarely finish with an education They in turn cannot provide for their own families. This vicious cycle is the challenge that the FAO faces to break if they wish to hit their targets by 2015.

Pop Idol



Editorial & Opinion

Page 8

November 28 2005

opinion@gairrhydd.com

A WORD TO THE WISE THE DECISION by Justice Rodrick Evans to throw out the case of an alleged rape of an Aberystwyth student on the grounds that the victim was too drunk to remember what happened sets a worrying precedent for students and young women on drunken nights out. This creates a gaping judicial grey area: if a victim claims to remember, but pretends she doesn’t, are we to assume a case may proceed, with the chance of prosecution? What about those whose drinks have been spiked and don’t remember what happened when they went home with someone? The lesson for Cardiff students, both male and female, is clear: don’t get so bloody drunk. The implications don’t bear thinking about. If either of those involved in the Aber’ case had realised that a good night doesn’t neccesarily involve drinking one’s bodyweight in Scrumpy Jack, they would have both saved themselves an tremendous amount of bother. So, the lesson here is clear: be careful. If you do pull, make sure you can both see straight. If you do drink, remember - that 18th pint of Guinness might not be a brilliant idea. It could happen to you.

Cardiff-on-Karachi DESPITE REEKING of good oldfashioned imperialism, the decision to rename a beleaguered Pakistani village ‘Cardiff’ is one of the more more interesting name changes of recent times (P-Diddy aside). The decision to name roads and landmarks after Welsh icons like Gareth Edwards and Tom Jones is an interesting one, but we here at gair rhydd think a bit more imagination could have gone into these nominations. What about the less-salubrious parts of Caerdydd culture? We propose the organisers use some of our own suggestions. How about a Goldie Lookin’ Chain municipal swimming baths, a Charlotte Church, er, church? How about a Curry Alley and an Abygales Avenue? Stranger things have happened.

By Ed Pitchforth

I

f the England players are fortunate enough to lift the World Cup this summer, it will spark days of glorious celebrations. Imagine the scenes as a nation dizzy with patriotic fever toast the lads who have finally brought football home after an agonising 40 year wait. Yet the players, and also their bank managers, will have an additional reason to smile, as they look forward to a cheque for £300,000 arriving on the doormat of their country mansions or penthouse apartments. Last week a meeting took place between the players’ committee; containing the razor-sharp negotiating skills of David Beckham and Gary Neville, and the head of the FA, Brian Barwick. After a morning of discussions, the princely sum of £300,000 was agreed upon to suitably reward the players should their endeavours be successful.

Professional footballers are hardly impoverished Now, first let me clarify I am an avid football fan, and no one will be more ecstatic should England lift the trophy this summer. However, surely representing your country should be a matter of pride? If you were to ask primary school boys what their dreams for the future were, I'm certain that winning the World Cup would rank highly, if not top of their list. Let’s face it, professional football players are hardly impoverished individuals, and for some of the stars of the England squad the bonus must seem like a drop in the ocean. In which case, I would like to think that the bonus has been of little concern for the squad. But you have to wonder how the squad would have reacted had Sven been to the Sir Clive Woodward-school of negotiating. When the England rugby squad were on the verge of striking for increased payment, he simply slipped a note under their doors warning them they would be sent home unless they backed down. The squad quickly relented, however, football

players possess a much stronger bargaining position, due to their greater public profile. Ultimately the squad could probably name their price if they desired, as public outrage would be massive should England fail to send their strongest squad to Germany. Gauging the £300,000 bonus against those awarded to our other sporting heroes provides interesting results. The victorious England Rugby squad received £70,000 while the Ashes team were rewarded with £65,000. This should be no reflection on their respective abilities, as both achievements were remarkable.

Why shouldn’t players be rewarded you may well ask? There is far more money in football. The FA will reportedly net £50 million should England win, and inevitably shelling out just over £6 million to the players will be less of an inconvenience than it was for the cricket and rugby authorities to dust off their chequebooks. The England players are not the only players expecting a windfall. In fact ,there is no major nation in international sport who fails to offer their players bonuses. In which case why shouldn't the players be rewarded, you may well

T

GLITTER-BALLSED IN A NEWS WEEK when the main news story was George Best finding death’s door almost unlocked it came as no surprise to see that notorious paedophile/70s glamrocker (we’re not sure which is worse) Gary Glitter has been accused of having sex with a 12year-old in Vietnam. Although the Express’s front-page of ‘Glitter to face death by firing squad’ might have been a little premature, it’s disturbing to see the unheroic demise of a former icon. As the Stranglers once sang, whatever happened to all the heroes?

PATRIOTIC: Would Moore’s England heroes of 1966 accepted a £300,000 bonus?

W i t c o m b ’s

ina used to be so good to me. We spent all of our days and nights together and craved no other company. I never once felt I didn't exist with Tina, yet every time she crept inside me my existence ceased to be. I guess it was bound to end. She knew all about the colours, Tina. She knew how to merge them, flash by flash, in and out of each other like cheap technicolour sunsets. And every dance was a flight. Our limbs couldn't stop moving, but never began to ache. Every one of the souls on the dance floor envied my relationship with Tina. No-one else seemed to react to her like me. They didn't understand why she made them feel that certain way. How she could persuade them to such fresh points of view. That's why she only danced

ask? The FA is benefiting, the sponsors will see increased profits, and Sven will enjoy a healthy rise in his bank balance. Sir Trevor Booking would certainly subscribe to such a view. After the meeting he commented, “For those to look at it and say the players are going to play for nothing is nonsense.” But is this really so? Is it that ridiculous to expect stars already earning millions of pounds a year to play a sport you assume they enjoy for free? Unfortunately, it has to be recog-

Players playing for nothing is nonsense nised that football is now a business, and a remarkably successful one at that. But lads, if you do fulfil our dreams, how about a gesture you can easily afford? Donate those cheques to charity; I'm sure you can think of a worthy cause if you try.

by alex wallis

FREE WORD

A BLOATED BONUS?

Al’s World

gair rhydd

with me… only vaguely with the others. I stopped going out with her for a few weeks of September. I went out with others who used to make me feel the same way. I remembered soon why I tired of them. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. The same contrived feelings they stirred every time. And I went back to Tina. There was one end of an endless night that we sat deep in the sofa. I had Tina held tight in my hands and seeing her so small and frail I realised what it was in her: she had the most selfless of objectives. All she wanted was for you to be happy. Because, in turn, it made her happy. Not just happy…but strong. I can see that now. She takes a concrete hold and your mass, your mind, sink below hers. Tonight I have sunk further than

ever. All I know is I am on this pavement, outside this club and blue lights flash like 'I told you so's. ‘And all I can make out are the shadows of words… “What's he taken?” “I dunno, umm… about three grams of Tina I think.” “You're going to have to tell me what Tina is son.” Who Tina is. Who. But Jack doesn't seem to want to tell him… “It's crystal meths… Officer. He took it 'bout nine, before we came out.” “Right. So now we're taking that in this country are we? Wasn't ever going to be long before it caught on over here I suppose. You'll have to come with me young man. The paramedics will take care of him.” And so will Tina. Tina will take good care. As only Tina knows how.


November 28 2005

Page 9 opinion@gairrhydd.com

HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN RECENTLY? Break-ups, schmeak-ups! Jennifer Dunkerly and James Lewis prove break-ups can be better than make-ups

By James Lewis

T

he following writing is an insight into countering the pain of heartache and heartbreak with rational thinking. It also highlights two relating life philosophies. Don't look away, this article may open your eyes, surprise you and challenge and change the way you walk in this world.

Thinking they were truly one in a million are flawed and weak clichéd ramblings

The answer is f**k it ,as I shagged them and what a good looking notch that is

By Jennifer Dunkerly

I

ntroducing the tedious ramblings of a cynical old spinster with this week’s agenda: Got Dumped? Get Fabulous! Get Rockstardom in a handbag!

It’s a quick fix better than any rebound one-night fling although more on those later BAND BOYS: They’re hot (regardless of age and musical faux-pas)

If you’ve not yet snagged your leg warmers in Metros you are certainly missing out

Fashion is the way forward; don’t get angry, just look fabulous

ne

O Any

oP Any IN IO N me i t Any opinion@gairrhydd.com


Letters

Page 10

November 28 2005

letters@gairrhydd.com

gair rhydd letters page I hope you all enjoyed the bumper letters page of last week. Unfortunately there is only one page this week. Oh well. Moving on swiftly, have you noticed how cold it has been recently? First there was rain and now it’s cold. Snow will probably be next. I’d better get my sledge ready. Wait a minute, I don’t actually have one. Actually, I haven’t even got a scarf yet, I have been ‘borrowing’ my housemate’s scarf. I should give it back but I can’t be bothered. Enjoy. Menon.

IMG Mayhem

Jack-ass Reviewer

I WRITE to you regarding the state of affairs of IMG football which I have become involved in.

YOUR MUSIC reviewer NEEDS TO BE SHOT I was to be quite honest SHOCKED to see how much Quench had chosen to lay into Jack Johnson.

Charity Case DESPITE BEING incredibly busy fourth-year students we decided to devote a couple of precious hours each week to a needy cause.

MENON SAYS: I should make it clear that a double letters page was planned for the 800th edition. So there is no personal feud. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

Prince Charming Hello, my name is Natalie Harrison and I’m on second year Business Admin. I was wondering if you could help me find a student who i seem to... well... have lost. I’ve never seen anything like this in the paper but I’m desparate to find him.

SAM (MUSIC EDITOR) SAYS: Classing a band as shit because of your xenophobic views is probably more of a shootable offence than, say, calling a band shit for being, well, shit.

Please email letters to

letters@gairrhydd.com Fancy a moan about student life? Send your gripes to the above email address. If you want to see your letter printed in next week’s issue, try and email it by Thursday lunchtime.

MENON SAYS: I apologise for notprinting this letter sooner. I hope you will forgive me.

Personal Feud? I WAS INTERESTED to note that the gair rhydd letters page has now expanded to two pages.

text

07791165837

Stroke walls wherever possible

Wot do you call a joke in engineering? shit.

Tell Grove to stop makin the toilet smell like a poo

Bex likes her pasta

Cat is a sharting dogmuncher People keep saying ‘Fuck me its cold’ as if they r suprised its cold in november in wales.. I said boom boom boom let me hear you say wayoo wayooo

Sudoku was too easy last week. Make it harder. Davies is a sackface!! The only thing he’s ever cleaned is his mum!! Twice!! Slappy doesn’t shower after sex. That’s good tho as bozo loves fish. Fit nick says somethin

MENON SAYS: If you are the man that Nat is looking for, please email letters@gairrhydd.com. I will pass on your details to her.

MENON SAYS: You make a good point here, perhaps the Council should have acted more professionally. But the games have started again so there is nothing to worry about... for the time being.

We will endeavour to print anything that we think is worthwhile, but bear in mind we have space restrictions and some standards of decency. Please also note that the views expressed in these letters are not neccessarily the views of Letters Desk, Cardiff University Students’ Union or gair rhydd.

letter of the week Unbelievably Racist I WOULD LIKE to make a few points in response to the letter by Mark that appeared in the gair rhydd on November 14th. The comment that “we can afford to spill blood for oil” seems unbelievable to me.


Comment

November 28 2005

Page 11

geordie@gairrhydd.com

The chewing gum on the shoe of opinion

IT’S NOT GOOD TO TALK David Irving is a despicable racist, but his opinions shouldn’t have landed him in prison

T

he hills are alive with the sound of... freedoms being denied for questionable reasons. Right-wing extremist author and revisionist historian David Irving was arrested in Vienna last week on the charge of Holocaust denial.

Daily Mail

Religion

POSITIVE FOR WHOM?

T

echnically, I have a disability. It's not exactly debilitating, but under the Disability Discrimination Act it would guarantee that I got on the shortlist for any public (ie government-run) job, provided I meet all the minimum criteria. Which is precisely why I'll never declare it on an application form: I don't want special treatment. Positive discrimination is still discrimination.

Offensive

If being racist were illegal here we’d have to lock up around two million people

not

Sorry, Sir, you can’t use the gym, as you were born with testicles

Words

Unforgettable holokauston

Sho’ah

2 G !

NEVER FORGET: Israeli schoolchildren’s annual trip to Auschwitz

Protesters have gathered in the US to demonstrate against the forthcoming execution of former gang boss Stanley ‘Tookie’ Williams.

"

President Bush managed to find his way to China as part of a whinge about the Chinese people’s right to freedom of worship.

!

The Middle-East peace process will undoubtedly suffer after recent upheavals.



November 28 2005

Page 13 politics@gairrhydd.com

It’s a card knock life

Can ID cards do more than just keep your Nectar card company? Politics investigates

A DEFENCE OF LIFE

AN UNNECESSARY COST

I

T

By Andrew Bladon Political Correspondent

n light of the rise in world terrorism and heightened inland security many countries have given consideration to adopting national identity cards. As well as Britain, the United States, Philippines and the Netherlands have all been debating to join Spain and France in having recognised National Identity Cards. Although they carry a lot of bad press and public disapproval they could prove valuable to homeland security. The government argue that there will only be a need for one government issued card, as it would give access to all government databases coordinated by the civil services, cutting down on bureaucracy in certain public sectors, and 'form filling' for us citizens.

Data from the card can give doctors all the information they need in seconds The card will contain basic identity information including a photograph, name, address and date of birth. The chip would contain unique biometric details such as a fingerprint or iris scan, preventing fraud and inevitable identity theft, costing the UK economy £1.3 billion per year. It's also believed to cut terrorism or organised crime groups from using false and multiple identities. The cards will also be a valuable tool in the monitoring of immigration cutting down on illegal entry to the country as all citizens passing in must have an identity card. This will also combat people working illegally as it would be mandatory for employers to ask for an ID card before they give the job. This may not sound that important to us, but this costs the government millions of pounds every year. It is intended to contain vital medical information for the card holders that if necessary could prove vital in an emergency. Data can be instantly extracted from the card, giving doctors all the information they need in seconds. The card itself will also act as a pass to the NHS; without a valid ID card health treatment could be denied. Many people's arguments against the card relate to its price. Citizens with no real objections have been put off by the cost of producing them, and questioned whether the money can be spend elsewhere. However, overall the scheme will result in cost savings, reducing money spent on illegal immigration, benefit fraud and terrorism, as well as a more dynamic database, cutting down on the need to have data in several different places.

ID CARDS: Protecting life or an unnecessary cost? Based on a consultation process carried out in 2003 the government argued that 79% of the public were in favour and generally a number of independent polls across the UK have echoed the government's sign of public approval.

The majority of scepticism is based on ignorance to the benefits of ID cards

The government is making a valuable effort to gain popularity across the UK, but the majority of the sceptics' disapproval is based on ignorance to the benefits of the nation ID card scheme that has so far has worked well in France and Spain. The British public's fear of ID cards is down to a history of legitimate doubt about the intentions of the state, kindled by fascist regimes in the past century. It is, therefore, the government's intention to prove to the citizens that it is not just a Big Brotherstyle surveillance tool but a valid attempt at social cohesion. After all we'll quite happily sign our personal details and shopping habits to loyalty schemes, it’s not a huge leap to do the same with ID cards.

By Leanne Wood AM PC, South Wales Central ony Blair says they'll cost £5 billion; the London School of Economics says £40 billion. I know who I believe. Just think what £40 billion could buy. Wales' share amounts to £2 billion. There is a housing crisis: young people have not been able to get on the housing ladder, or rent at decent rates; homelessness has gone up; numbers in bed and breakfast accommodation have increased by 500%; and almost one tenth of the Welsh population live in homes that are unfit for habitation. This crisis has happened because we haven't been building enough houses for years. Two billion pounds would buy a lot of homes for people who need them. But ID cards are not only costly to the public purse, they'll be expensive to individuals as well. They cost £93 (for ID card and passport combined. ID card/no passport for really poor people is a bargain at £30!), but there are heavy fines and prison ahead for those who lose them. If you change your address and forget to tell the government, you will face a minimum fine of £1,000. If you lose your card you have to pay to replace it. You have to pay to change any details on it. If you fail to tell the authorities that you've lost your card, you could end up in prison. The cost to people like students who change address often, to

homeless people or those who are just a bit forgetful, could be huge. Any claim that ID cards can prevent terrorism was blown away when Home Secretary Charles Clarke admitted as such on July 8, the day after the London bombings. The fact that there are no plans to make them compulsory until 2013 would also suggest ID cards are not intended to deal with any such threat in the next eight years! Since July 7, the government have taken a different line. Now the stated aim is that ID cards will help to combat international crime and identity fraud. However, Microsoft's top technology officer has said that the proposal to put biometrics, or personal identifiers such as fingerprints, on a central database could “perpetuate the very problem that the system was intended to prevent.” He says “ministers should not be building systems that allow hackers to mine information so easily.” Plaid Cymru, the Party of Wales in the Assembly, has made sure that ID cards will not be necessary to access public services in Wales, but that will not stop the enormous waste of money elsewhere. The ID cards bill is on its way through Parliament and had a rough ride in the Lords. At the moment, the government believes it has the public on its side. Time will tell if it actually is. The author is Shadow Social Justice Minister in the Welsh Assembly


Taf-Od

Tud 14

Tachwedd 28 2005

tafod@gairrhydd.com

Codi Safonau Ysgolion Cynradd Gan Kathryn Harries Golygydd Taf-Od RHODDWYD SYLW i addysg Cymru dros yr wythnos diwethaf gyda chyhoeddi adroddiad gan Lywodraeth Cynulliad Cymru. Bwriad yr adroddiad, o’r enw Prosiect Cau’r Bwlch ym Mherfformiad Ysgolion: Cyfnod II Ysgolion Cynradd, yw codi safonau mewn ysgolion cynradd Cymru. Astudiwyd perfformiad ysgolion cynradd ledled Cymru sy’n llwyddiannus er gwaethaf amgylchiadau anodd. Mae’r prosiect, a gyhoeddwyd 17 Tachwedd, yn asesu’r ffactorau sydd wedi cyfrannu at lwyddiant yr ysgolion hyn. Sefydlwyd y prosiect gan Lywodraeth Cynulliad Cymru a’r WLGA, sy’n cynrychioli diddordebau awdurdodau lleol yng Nghymru, er mwyn tynnu sylw at berfformiad ysgolion Cymru. Cyfarwyddwr ac awdur ail gyfnod y prosiect oedd yr Athro Chris James o Brifysgol Morgannwg, sy’n ymchwilio i ysgolion cynradd yn ail gyfnod y prosiect. Dechreuodd y prosiect yn 2002, gan edrych ar ysgolion uwchradd.

Mae’r prosiect ar y cyfan yn darparu gwybodaeth ar gyfer ysgolion ac awdurdodau lleol ac yn helpu ysgolion i gydnabod eu gwendidau unigol. O ganlyniad, mae’n ceisio gwella safon addysgu yng Nghymru gcyfan. Mae Jane Davidson, y Gweinidog dros Addysg a Dysgu Gydol Oes, a’r Cynghorydd John Davies, llefarydd Addysg WLGA, yn cefnogi’r adroddiad. ‘Mae Llywodraeth Cynulliad Cymru ac awdurdodau lleol yng Nghymru yn rhannu’r dyhead i godi safonau ym mhob ysgol fel bod plant Cymru,’ meddant, ‘waeth lle maent yn byw, yn cael mynediad at addysg o ansawdd uchel ac yn gallu cyflawni eu llawn botensial.’ Defnyddiwyd dau brif ddull gan y prosiect yn ei ymchwil, sef rhoi holiaduron i 250 o ysgolion cynradd Cymru a gwneud astudiaeth achos mewn 18 yr ysgolion hyn. Yn ôl Jane Davidson a John Davies, mae gan bob un o ysgolion cynradd y prosiect ‘diwylliant cynhyrchiol, cryf a chynhwysol iawn a oedd yn canolbwyntio ar sicrhau dysgu ac addysgu effeithiol a chyfoethog ar gyfer pob disgybl.’

Y Cynulliad Cenedlaethol am godi safonau ysgolion cynradd Cymru Darganfu ail gyfnod y prosiect fod gan yr ysgolion cynradd llwyddiannus dîm addysgu effeithlon gyda ffordd o feddwl positif a threfn effeithiol. Cafodd pob ysgol lwyddiannus arweinyddiaeth gref a chefnogaeth gan y cymunedau ac awdurdodau lleol. Dengys fod gwaith tîm, sy’n cynnwys rhieni yn cymryd rhan mewn addysg eu plant, yn angenrheidiol mewn ysgol

Huw Stephens, Sarra Elgan a Huw Evans, cyflwynwyr ‘Bandit’

Gan Lois Dafydd Golygydd Taf-Od AR 1 TACHWEDD lansiodd y rhaglen deledu Bandit wefan ddwyieithog newydd o’r enw bandit247.com. Cynhyrchir Bandit gan y cwmni teledu Boomerang, sydd hefyd yn gyfrifol am gynhyrchu’r wefan, ac mae gwybodaeth wythnosol ynghylch cynnwys y rhaglen ar y safwe. Ond mae hi hefyd yn cynnig ffyrdd amrywiol a newydd i ddilynwyr roc a phop yng Nghymru gadw mewn cysylltiad gyda’r sin. Bydd dau o gyflwynwyr y rhaglen deledu, Huw Stephens a Huw Evans, yn darlledu sioe radio awr o hyd yn wythnosol gyda chyfle i’r rheini sy’n ymweld â’r wefan wrando arni arlein. Mae’r lansiad yn ddatblygiad newydd a chyffrous i S4C, gan fod modd chwarae’r sioe radio ar beirian-

nau ipod ar ffurf podcast. Mae’r wefan hefyd yn cynnwys archif o fideos artistiaid a ymddangosodd a y rhaglen yn y gorffennol, a gall dilynwyr y sic roc a phop yng Nghymru eu chwarae nhw a fideos newydd o’u hoff artistiaid ar eu ffonau symudol am y tro cyntaf hefyd, yn ogystal â fideos sy’n cynnwys rhagflas o’r rhaglen deledu nesaf. Gall yr ymwelwyr hefyd dderbyn lluniau neu hyd yn oed negeseuon gan y cyflwynwyr, Huw Stephens, Huw Evans a Sarra Elgan, a’r cyfan yn rhad ac am ddim. Bydd y tri hefyd yn cadw dyddiadur achlysurol ar ffurf blog ar y safwe. ‘Mae’r gwasanaeth aml-lwyfan newydd hwn yn adlewyrchu lefel uchelgais S4C ar gyfer ymestyn gwerth ac argaeledd rhaglenni Cymraeg a’n hymrwymiad i dwfn creadigol a masnachol y sector annibynnol,’ meddai Iona Jones, Prif

Weithredwr S4C. Mae bandit247.com hefyd yn hybu datblygiadau newydd a chyffrous o fewn y sin roc a phop yng Nghymru. Gall artistiaid newydd anfon traciau neu fideo ohonynt yn perfformio at Bandit, gyda’r wybodaeth briodol yn adran ‘Dy Stwff’ ar y wefan, ac efallai y bydd hyn yn arwain at ymddangosiad ar y rhaglen deledu. ‘Mae Boomerang, mewn partneriaeth gydag S4C, yn gallu manteisio ar y cyfleoedd sy’n dod yn sgil technolegau newydd i ymestyn brand Bandit a chynnig gwerth ychwanegol i ffans cerddoriaeth Bandit ar ffurf y gwasanaeth rhyngweithiol newydd hwn,’ ychwanegodd Iona Jones. ‘Rwyf hefyd yn falch iawn y bydd doniau cerddorol newydd yn cael cyfle i gyrraedd cynulleidfa ehangach drwy Banit247.com.’ Darlledir Bandit bob nos Iau am 10yh, gyda hanner awr ychwanegol ar S4C Digidol.

er mwyn gwella cyflawniad ei disgyblion. Pwysleisia canfyddiadau’r adroddiad bod canmol ac annog disgyblion, a staff yr ysgol hefyd, yn angenrheidiol er mwyn sicrhau bod gan blant Cymru addysg o safon uchel. Dywed Jane Davidson a John Davies yn yr adroddiad fod ‘yr her yn awr ar gyfer Llywodraeth y Cynulliad,

awdurdodau lleol ac ysgolion yw rhannu a lledaenu’r arferion da a nodwyd yn yr adroddiad. Bydd cyfres o ddigwyddiadau ledled Cymru tua diwedd 2005 ac ar ddechrau 2006 i helpu gyda’r gwaith hwn.’ Yn dilyn canfyddiadau’r adroddiad, gobeithir adeiladu ar safonau addysgu a dysgu, sydd eisoes yn uchel, trwy gydol Cymru gyfan.

Gan Lois Dafydd Gohebydd Taf-Od

Roedd Frizbee, The Poppies, Sibrydion a Huw Chiswell ymhlith yr artistiaid a berfformiodd ar y noson, gyda phob tocyn wedi’i werthu. Artist mwyaf llwyddiannus siart 2005 oedd Bryn Fôn, enillydd y lynedd. Yn ogystal â dwy gân Sobin a’r Smaeliaid, roedd naw o’i ganeuon fel artist unigol yn y siart, a’r uchaf ohonynt, ‘Ceidwad y Goleudy’, yn cyrraedd rhif 6. Dyma restr y 10 uchaf:

MAWREDD MAWR! AR 17 Tachwedd cyhoeddwyd pa gân a ddaeth i’r brig yn 10fed siart Mawredd Mawr Radio Cymru yng Nghlwb Amser, Bangor. Ers rhai misoedd bellach mai gwrandawyr rhaglen radio C2 wedi bod yn pleidleisio dros eu hoff gân Gymraeg ar gyfer 100 uchaf Cymru, a’r gân a ddaeth i’r brig eleni oedd ‘Da Ni Nôl’ gan Frizbee, oddi ar eu halbwm ‘Hirnos’. Roedd y band hefyd yn 3ydd yn y siart gyda’r gân ‘Ti’ ac ‘Yma o Hyd’, Dafydd Iwan yn eu canol yn yr ail safle. ‘Mae hyn yn wych!’ meddai Ywain Gwynedd, prif leisydd Frizbee. ‘Diolch yn fawr i bawb am bleidleisio. Diolch i’n teuluoedd, diolch i’r cefnogwyr, i’r rhai sydd wedi bod yn ein gwylio ni dros y ddwy flynedd a hanner emosiynol diwethaf – a diolch hefyd i Radio Cymru.’

1. Frizbee - Da ni nôl 2. Dafydd Iwan - Yma o Hyd 3. Frizbee - Ti 4. Bryn Fôn - Abacus 5. Poppies - Sex Sells 6. Bryn Fôn - Ceidwad y Goleudy 7. Huw Chiswell - Y Cwm 8. Anweledig - Cae yn Nefyn 9. Bryn Fôn - Bardd o Montreal 10. Vanta - Tri mis a diwrnod I ddarganfod pa ganeuon eraill gyrhaeddodd y 100 uchaf eleni, ewch i www.bbc.co.uk/c2.

Frizbee: ar y brig yn siart Mawredd Mawr gyda ‘Da Ni Nol’


Health

November 28 2005

Page 15

health@gairrhydd.com

WORLD AIDS DAY

This week, Health investigate the condition that has killed over 8,000 people in 2005 alone

By Adrian Raudaschl Health Correspondent

T

here are some pretty weird and wonderful ways I’ve heard about having safe sex everything from rubbing your genitals with honey, to double-bagging condoms during intercourse (not wise - the friction caused actually breaks the condoms and makes things even more unsafe). Of course, having no sex at all would be the best option but not a very likely one. On the other hand, femaleto-female sex is statistically the least likely form of sexual intercourse in which to acquire and/or transmit HIV. But I’m going off topic (a bloke thing; I think it’s genetic). While sexual intercourse always involves some risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease, there are definitely ways of making your sexual experiences safer. Let’s say you’ve met a special someone out on the town, and through a mixture of drink, possibly drugs (we are not advocating this) and sheer euphoria you’re taken to bed with them. Sex with anonymous partners carries the highest risk, as the HIV and STD (sexually transmitted disease) status of the partner is unknown. Touching provides a minimal amount of risk. HIV and most other STDs are not transmitted merely through touching, except for syphilis. If contact is made with an open sore or ulcer on a person's genitalia caused by syphilis, a risk of transmission does exist. Kissing also provides a minimal amount of risk as well. Always, always, always use a condom or dental dam when having any kind of intercourse. It’s so simple, yet forgotten so easily, especially if caught up in a sensual moment. Use a dental dam, or a condom cut lengthwise, when having anal-oral sex. If you plan to be especially sexually active, I would strongly recommend getting a vaccination for Hepatitis A. Oral, vaginal and anal sex all carry the same risk of carrying other diseases to both partners. These include gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, parasites, giardia and hepatitis. Use lubricant or lubricated condoms to prevent friction that can disturb the lining of the anal canal, throat or vaginal walls. Take into consideration that oil-based products can also compromise the effectiveness of the condom or dental dam and allow HIV to be transmitted - always use water-based lubricants instead. Practicing safer sex doesn't mean eliminating sex from your life. What safer sex does mean is being smart and staying healthy. Guys go and practice putting on those condoms. Girls I would recommend the same, even if you are on the pill – a combination of safe sex practices is the best policy. For more information try www.playingsafely.co.uk. Sex can be very enjoyable but we must practice it safely. Remember, no ‘body’ is worth dying for.

Monday 1st December is World Aids Day (WAD). WAD started in 1988 to raise the profile of HIV and Aids and to dispel common misconceptions and inform the public of the true facts about the condition. Approximately 8,000 people die of Aids-related conditions every day - that is five people every minute. This week, to celebrate World Aids Day, we are focusing on the facts about HIV and try to get to the bottom of some of the common myths about the virus. If you want more information about the condition in general or want to find out about HIV testing, go to www.worldaidsday.org or www.bbc.co.uk/health. By Lisa O’Brien Sexual Health Awareness Group (SHAG) HIV only affects gay “men, drug dealers and sub-Saharan Africans.

T

his is one of the many misconceptions that surround HIV and Aids. HIV is in fact the fastest-growing serious health condition in the UK and the growing complacency towards the risks of HIV infections is set to ensure that the number of cases will continue to increase. Presently over 54,000 people are living with HIV in the UK. HIV, or Human Immunodeficiency Virus, is the retrovirus that leads to

RIBBON: show your support

Aids. It attacks a person's immune system making them increasing vulnerable to opportunistic infections and to certain rare cancers, which the body is then unable to fight off. If someone contracts one of these illnesses the condition is called Aids, or Acquired Immune-Deficiency Syndrome. It is possible to be HIV-positive for a long time without getting Aids. HIV is transmitted through bloodto-blood or sexual contact. This means that it can be spread through unprotected vaginal and anal sex, sometimes oral sex, sharing used needles, and from mother to baby during pregnancy, vaginal delivery and breast feeding. Prior to 1985, HIV could also be transmitted through blood transfusions within the United Kingdom. This is still a risk in hospitals outside of the UK. Currently, there is no cure for HIV, making it the most dangerous sexually transmitted infection, although sophisticated drug cocktails are enabling sufferers to live with HIV for a lot longer. As yet there is no cure for Aids and no one has ever recovered from it, despite the recent claims of a man in the news. The Conservative government's highly successful media campaign in the mid-1980s, which featured TV commercials showing tombstones engraved with the words "Don't die of ignorance" disseminated the message of safer sex throughout society and brought to the public attention the very real danger of HIV and Aids. This resulted in a steady decline of the num-

LONDONER ‘CURED’ OF HIV By Laura Murphy Deputy Health Editor

H

IV is once again hitting the headlines, following claims that a London man has cured himself of the condition. Andrew Stimpson, 25, was originally diagnosed HIV-positive in 2002 but was found to be negative in October 2003 by Chelsea and Westminster Healthcare NHS Trust. Even more astonishingly, Andrew continued to have sex with his HIV positive partner, as they believed that they had nothing to lose. Sandwichmaker Andrew went for tests in 2002 after feeling tired, weak and feverish. Three initial tests failed to show the antibodies that mean HIV is present in the body, but a fourth test confirmed that he was in fact carrying the virus. Despite his low viral load (the amount of virus present in the blood), he considered the future to be bleak, even going so far as to plan his own suicide should he ever develop fullblown Aids. He eventually came to terms with his diagnosis and aimed to keep as healthy as possible to avoid

going on to medication, taking vitamin supplements every day. The amazing discovery that he was clear of the virus was made when doctors became confused over his continuing good health, which is unusual in those living with the virus. A further test, 14 months after his diagnosis, showed that his body was in fact clear of HIV. He was tested twice to make sure that he was indeed clear. Aids expert Dr Patrick Dixon, from Aids group ACET said the case was “very, very unusual”. “I've come across many anecdotal reports of this kind of thing happening in Africa, some quite recently, but it's difficult to verify them,” he told BBC News 24. “Inside his immune system is perhaps a key that could allow us to develop some kind of vaccine.” Andrew has tried to claim compensation for the emotional trauma caused by the diagnosis but this has been prevented due to the fact that each test was accurate. The medical community is now hoping that this case could lead to a cure for the virus that has wiped out 20 million people worldwide since 1981.

ber of cases diagnosed each year throughout the 1980s and 1990s. However, growing complacency over the risk of infection has reversed this trend, data from the Health Protection Agency show that new infection rates have more than doubled in recent years. Whilst homosexual men remain at the

This is not just a disease that affects other people

greatest risk of acquiring HIV within the UK, the majority of newly diagnosed cases have been transmitted through heterosexual sex: recent statistics show that 58% of infections are transmitted in this way. The vast majority of newly diagnosed cases have been infected abroad mostly from areas where there is a high prevalence of HIV, such as sub-Saharan Africa. One factor that is contributing to the rise in infection rates is the startling fact that a third of people infected with HIV within the UK are unaware that they have the condition. A person can be infected with HIV for ten years or more whilst appearing to be perfectly healthy and with no symptoms of the virus. Recent reports show that this could be as many as 14,300 people. The risk of infection increases further if the infected person or their partner has an STI. This is particularly con-

cerning considering the current state of sexual health in Britain and the dramatic increase of high-risk sexual activity, mainly engaging in unprotected sex with multiple or casual partners. The government has recently announced that they are to make a £300m investment to tackle the UK sexual health crisis. £50 million has been set aside for an advertising campaign for under-25s warning of the dangers of unsafe sex, the biggest of its kind since the 1980s. It is hoped that some of the money will be used to focus on HIV prevention, particularly among gay men, as well as the other sexually transmitted infections. Money is also being set aside to help cut the waiting lists in sexual health clinics (Genito-Urinary Medicine or GUM clinic) to provide greater access to health care, and work towards achieving the government goal of offering everyone who needs one an appointment within 48 hours. This is a positive move in the right direction but essentially what is needed is a change in public perception. This is not just a disease that affects other people, it is a very real problem affecting everyone, and we must all be aware of the risks and positively protect ourselves. This can be done simply by making sure you use a condom every time you have sex. Do not rely on your partner to disclose their sexual health status; everyone should take responsibility for their own sexual health.

HEALTH NEWS IN BRIEF Record number of HIV Studies show that the number of people with the HIV virus is at an all time high, with over 40 million people suffering from it. Over five million people were infected with the virus during 2005, and three million people died as a result of the virus. 500,000 of these were children. For more information, go to www.bbc.co.uk/health.

Sleep disorder 'danger' of HGVs About one in six British HGV drivers suffers from a form of a sleep disorder requiring medical help, a study says. If left untreated, obstructive sleep apnoea could lead to potentially fatal road accidents, according to experts. Sleep scientist Melanie Marshall said sufferers "are more lethal than drink drivers".

HIV resistance up in UK Researchers have found that resistance to HIV medicine is increasing in the UK, which could potentially cause

more premature deaths from the virus. A team of British researchers found that 14% of people studied had some form of resistance to at least one drug.

Rollercoaster risk for weak hearts German cardiologists have found that people with weak hearts are risking their lives by going on rollercoasters and other high-speed rides. The findings, presented to the American Heart Association, states that the thrill of rollercoasters can spark irregular heartbeats and increase risks of heart attacks for those with previous heart conditions.

New drinking laws ‘won’t change drinking habits’ A BBC survey has found that nearly 70% of young drinkers believe that the new drinking laws will not affect the amount of alcohol they consume. 24 hour drinking is set to come into effect for some pubs this week. The government hopes the law will cut down on binge drinking.



Science & Environment DNA confusion The final frontier November 28 2005

Page 17

science@gairrhydd.com

By Paul Hunt Science correspondent

A

n investigation into a serious sexual assault in Alaska was recently thrown into chaos when DNA from the scene was matched with someone who couldn’t have possibly committed the crime as they were already in prison at the time. Except in a case where there are identical twins (which was not so in this case) everyone’s DNA is unique, so how could this have happened? The DNA sample had also been matched to another man, who was the main suspect in the case, so forensic scientists were left with the puzzle of two men with the same genetic profile. It took some thorough detective work to find the truth: the man in prison had received a bone marrow transplant from his brother many years before, his brother being the prime suspect in the crime. The unique nature of bone marrow transplantation has caused this DNA duplicity. Bone marrow produces red blood cells and white blood cells, the latter of which contain DNA which can be tested by forensic scientists. Bone marrow transplants are used as treatments for many diseases including leukaemia, some lymphomas and immune disorders, in these cases the

DNA: Confusing

much of patient’s bone marrow is destroyed by chaemotherapy whilst trying to destroy the malfunctioning cells. A transplant will replace this lost bone marrow with that of another person, usually a sibling; of course if the bone marrow is donated then the blood cells would have the DNA of the donor and not the patient. Obviously in the case in Alaska the crime confusion was cleared up quickly, as the man in prison couldn’t have committed the crime, and should soon be joined inside by his brother, but there is a worrying potential problem as this kind of mix-up could happen again. The potential for confusion in a case of this kind is dependant on which sample you have to test, as only the blood of the recipient of the bone marrow will have the same DNA as that of the donor. So if you take cheek cell swabs the problem will not arise. However, if you have only a blood sample left at the scene of a crime it could be from either the donor or the recipient. It would be impossible, forensically at least, to tell who had committed the crime. Forensic science has clearly advanced the investigation of crime, but this unique situation could trip it up again in the future as this amazing case has proven.

By Chris Brett Science Correspondent

D

eep wihin the Southern Ocean, surrounded by storm waves and changing skies, lies the greatest continent on Earth. With an incredibly minimal snowfall, most of the continent is technically a desert. Despite this the ice-cap is home to 90% of the world's ice making up about 70% of the worlds freshwater. Huge icebergs break off each year from the floating ice shelves, constituting a worry for environmentalists. Also half of the Southern Ocean freezes over in winter, more than doubling the size of the continent. The continent is truly inhospitable, with katabatic winds flowing from its centre, low temperatures of minus 50 degrees celsius and a hole in the ozone layer allowing scorching ultra violet radiation to reach the Earth’s surface in unrivalled amounts (when the continent isn’t dark, which it is for three months of the year). Despite this, Antarctica offers a bounty of natural resources, ranging from metals to hydrocarbons. There are huge quantities of biomass in its surrounding seas, and an unparalleled record of Earth’s atmosphere for the last 500,000 years in incredibly accurate ice cores. This is what attracts the scientists from 27 countries to face a unique challenge. Britain has been involved in Antarctic research and exploration for more than 200 years, and for over 50 years the British Antarctic Survey has been undertaking the majority of the United Kingdom's research of the continent. One of the most prominemt research stations, Halley V, is built on

the Brunt Ice Shelf. Since 1956, ozone levels have been measured on the continent; a depletion in stratospheric ozone was first discovered 1985, and this led very quickly to the international response to curtail production of CFCs.

Britain has been involved in Antarctic research for over 200 years However, because the ice sheet is rapidly breaking away, Halley V is approaching the Ice cliffs above the sea and will soon be abandoned like its four predecessors. The next model, Halley VI is cur-

rently being designed as an ultra high tech mobile research station. Mounted on skis, it will be capable of motoring away from the ice sheets’ unrelenting progress into the sea. It is hoped that by 2009 Halley VI will be fully operational, capable of monitoring the ozone layer, providing data from ice cores, giving the MET office information contributing to world weather patterns. It will also be acting as a source of information on how the suns rays interact with the Earth’s atmosphere - known as Geospace research. Antarctica is not just a scientific curiosity, nor is it simply the world’s largest environmental reserve, it is a key part interwoven in the fabric of the Earth system. The processes taking place now in the Antarctic affect the world's climate and its oceans, linking the continent inextricably to what we experience thousands of kilometers away.

ANTARCTICA: 90% of the world’s ice

Armageddon averted By Victoria Sayce Science correspondent

W

hen it comes to Earthbound asteroids it's time to forget everything that Hollywood ever taught you. Bruce Willis and weapons-grade Uranium are not the path to salvation from these potential planet killers. In fact it'd be better to call out the AA. Well, NASA's version of it anyway. Rather than 'nuking' deadly asteroids, which would possibly result in several smaller yet equally devastating fragments, two NASA astronauts believe we should tow them. Previous solutions have all been dismissed as totally impractical, so the fact that this proposal is deemed so straightforward to implement means it's a huge step forward in planetary defense. The idea is simple. Edward Lu and Stanley Love have calculated that if you were to park a heavy spacecraft nearby you could effectively use the gravitational

attraction between the two objects as an invisible towline to tug the massive rock off course. Placing a 20-tonne craft at a distance of 50 metres above the asteroid's surface could change the speed by as much as two millimeters per second which would eventually alter the direction of travel. They've christened their brainchild the 'gravity tractor'. However, the amount of time needed for this course correction could create a stumbling block. The spacecraft would need to begin deflecting the asteroid up to 20 years before a predicted impact but this is feasible as collision paths can now be predicted by astronomers decades in advance. Launching such a massive spacecraft could also pose a few problems, though as Lu points out NASA's delayed Prometheus program, which was due to explore the outer solar system, included just such a heavy vehicle so the technology needed to save the World is, luckily, already in the pipeline.


Interviews Resident university lecturer and author Richard Gwyn is quizzed by Books editor James Skinner on religion, making mistakes, and being a support act for the Cure... again is of interest to me, but he's doing it in a completely different way to me. Tessa Hadley as well, who's based in Cardiff, a very good novelist, she's only written two novels, but they're both excellent. Q: Is there any one work of art, fiction or poetry that you would recommend, unequivocally, to everyone?

he Colour Of A Dog Running Away

Reef Ignorance

The Colour Of A Dog Running Away

I think you can teach writing, though I wouldn't necessarily say that many people are writers… you can learn various techniques which will help you to be a better writer; you can stimulate students’ interest - mainly by encouraging them to read more, but beyond that there are limits on what you can actually teach, but I think that goes for all the creative arts.

Well, at the moment I'd have to say fiction, because I came to fiction quite late. I think that sometimes it takes people an awfully long time to find what they want to do; for years I just didn't think I had the concentration span to write a novel - I thought I could probably begin one, but I wasn't quite sure if I could finish one. The Colour Of A Dog… took a long time to write: I began it in 1997 and worked on it intermittently until 2003. So it's been a long process, but I don't imagine that the next one will take so long. So I'd have to say fiction, yeah. It's a story about storytelling, and the loss, or blurring of identity. Dog Hmmm… did I base myself on him? Did I base him on myself? No.

Well… I spent a long time in similar people's company. People living on society's margins are much more interesting to me than people dwelling in the mainstream culture… because they reflect the kind of cracked mirror of society, that is to me more interesting; the damaged nature of society as well.

I was interested in reincarnation due to reading an account by a British psy-

chiatrist who started treating somebody who clearly gave manifestations of appearing to be a Cathar survivor, with the psychiatrist himself also implicated in her story. I don't quite know how proven it all is. But it was a good idea, you know, that's what struck my imagination - when somebody reincarnates as part of a group, somehow have their lives thwarted and have a second chance of sorts… it's fairly ridiculous, and not something I believe in, but interesting nonetheless.

Well, the thing about needing to rely on chemical assistance… I think it's a grotesque myth about the artist really; it's just one that lots of artists find convenient to live out. Obviously, a lot of people live it out quite successfully, and lots of people die from it; I think it's very tied-in with these notions of high romanticism. Dog

I set out to write a book that employed several different genres; it's certainly something I did intentionally, and Thomas Pynchon's V was certainly an influence in that respect. I don't think it's important that writers subvert existing genre types, but it does seem important to me.

Yeah, the post-punk era! Yeah, well, during '76, while a student in London, I used to go along and see acts like the Sex Pistols, The Clash… a lot of con-

certs. About a year or two later I started doing (first of all) spontaneous readings and then slightly more organised events. It was a fairly anarchic sort of period, and people were very prepared to listen, and heckle, and join in… it was quite lively. I enjoyed it at the time too, but I don't think it helped my evolution as a writer that much… I don't even think I've got anything left that I wrote then. I moved around a lot over the years following that. I did a number of jobs in London, and then I left London in 1981, and didn't come back to Britain until 1990.

Well, I'm biased towards some of the poets that Parthian have published, especially Lloyd Robson, Lorna Lloyd and someone who we will be publishing next year, Jasmine Donahaye. In terms of fiction, I like the work of Niall Griffiths, I think it's important work, as he's doing stuff that nobody else is doing in Wales - he's exploring the colonised experience of the underclasses, and marginal groups, which

I enjoy teaching writing more than I've enjoyed teaching anything else. Mainly because students of Creative Writing tend to invest more of themselves in their work - it means a lot more to them and therefore they're more prepared to be forthcoming about it, and the dynamic of classrooms is more interesting, because they're so personally involved with their work, and I like that, I like the electricity generated in Creative Writing classes. I'm working on two books - a novel, and a collection of very, very short stories - 'micro-fictions'. What first came to mind is to pay attention to what's going on around you - everyday things: here and now. Listen to the way people talk - but really listen; it's very easy to listen to people's sentences as lots of words without listening to the way they express them, and if you want to write dialogue then you've really got to listen. Never give up on the editing process; be in command of every line you write, and if that means going back again and again and again, then be a perfectionist, allow your self that luxury. And don't be afraid to make mistakes. I think that's very important. You should embrace your mistakes, because if you weren't aware of them then you wouldn't be learning anything. Richard Gwyn’s novel The Colour Of a Dog Running Away is available now on Parthian.


Free Stuff

November 28 2005

Page 19

competitions@gairrhydd.com

grab! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

. See it first.. On the big screen THIS WEEK, I have another little exclusive up my sleeve, and it comes in the shape of four pairs of tickets to see the most promising film of next year. Yes, next year! The darkly funny and ferociously intense Jarhead is set to take to our big screens in 2006, but I have four pairs of preview tickets to see the future blockbuster before the term is out.

Directed by Oscar-winner Sam Mendes (American Beauty) and starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Jamie Foxx, and Peter Sarsgaard, Jarhead (15) is based on the true story of Gulf War veteran, Anthony Swofford.

After being taken to the deserts of Saudi Arabia to fight in the summer of 1990, Swafford, then a third-generation enlistee, holds an astounding set of memories that poignantly evoke that time, in that place. The urgency, immediacy, honesty and humour that could only come from someone who has lived through the experience became the bestselling book, Jarhead, in 2003, and now, the next big movie to get under our skin. An unvarnished tale that comes straight from the mouth of a 20-year-old kid, Jarhead is not your average war movie. As critics have recently acclaimed, it holds its own place on the cinematic battlefield. Unlike other war films, Jarhead tells you not about what it’s like to fight, but what it’s like not to fight. It will entertain you, whatever side of the war debate you’re on, and is at times a humorous and uplifting insight into a devastating time. Out of the hellish situation depicted in Jarhead, there ultimately arises unlikely friendships, fierce loyalty and do-or-die camaraderie within a brotherhood of jarheads sworn to always be faithful. If you’d like to get your hands on free preview tickets for the film, the procedure is really easy. Simply exchange two mastheads from The Times newspaper at the Union shop for a pair of tickets and you could be at the Cardiff preview on 6 December. Visit www.timesonline.co.uk/moviemania for details. To win a pair of tickets courtesy of grab! just email yours truly at the above address.

WHAT WOULD a university newspaper be without compe titions? Not as good as this one, I say, since being a student is all about baggin g stuff for free. And that’s what I do here at grab! – if you haven’t noticed. It’s just a shame I have to give it all away. Last week’s amazing competitions are a hard act to plethora of cool prizes is still pretty good. If you’d like to follow, but this week’s win anything you see on my fair page, you know the drill by now. Send me an email at the above address and, with a wave of my magic wand, I could put an end to all your problems.

Supersized Sound

IF YOU missed Supersize Sumo, the awesome breakbeat event that came to the Union last month, don’t fret – I have another amazing opportunity for you to see it in action. Following the massive success of the former Cardiff gig at the Great Hall, Supersize Sumo are back on Friday 2 December with another explosive line-up of seriously funky acts. If you want to see a bit of dirty house or quality techno, all wrapped up in a tidy breakbeat package, these artists are definitely well worth seeing. In addition to Koma & Bones and Doyley & Huw, ClwbIforBach will also play host to Invisbl, Chris Nichols, Chico Fresco & West One. So, if you’re up for a jam-packed night of musical mayhem, Supersize

Sumo is the way to go. Advance tickets are available for £7 a pop and can be purchased from Catapult 100% Vinyl or Cardiff SU Box Office. For more information, call 029 2023 2199 or visit www.sumoHQ.com.

Be on the guest list Supersize your night at Sumo by winning a pair of guest-list tickets. Just answer this question and email me at the usual address: Where in Cardiff did Supersize Sumo play last month?

Bag the Beats... IT GOES without saying that students absolutely adore music and clubbing, so when I feasted my eyes on this little lot, I was sure they’d go down a treat. Just like my Nan’s fruitcake… First up is the chance to shrug off your winter blues with Ministry of Sound’s latest funk-soaked instalment of their legendary annual series. The Annual 2006 is just like the others but with its finger on the current club music pulse; these two CDs are crammed full of this year’s biggest chart-topping dance anthems and pop-tinged club hits. As if this isn’t enough, the good folk at Ministry have also selected twenty of the most sensational dance videos of the year, and brought them together on one DVD for your visual delectation.

The second CD I have up for grabs is Tokyo Project’s The Collection, the first in a new series of compilations showcasing the best in silksoaked funky house and bass-fuelled entertainments. Tokyo Project is the latest venture from Hed Kandi creator Mark Doyle, who decided it was time to strike out on his own and create a record label, live events business and wider lifestyle media brand all in one. The debut release The Collection exudes the same relentless energy and exhilaration of the city in its title. Over three CDs, it seamlessly blends together the biggest dance anthems of the year, teamed with some underground liquid

house gems and a few dance classics. Third up is Gatecrasher Classics 2, the follow-up album to the phenomenal success of the first Classics album, which has sold over 300,000 copies to date. Picking up where the last CD left off, volume two is a double CD’d euphoric romp through the laser-etched anthems that guided the Gatecrasher clubs across the country to worldwide dominance. If you’d like to win a copy of any of these CDs, email me at the at the usual address.

Wanted: mystery fridge raider

LIFE’S TOO short not to have fun, I reckon, and so much more enjoyable if you’re eating. Don’t worry, I haven’t reached 25 stone (yet) – I’ve just stumbled upon Fridge Raiders, the new chicken snacks from Mattesson’s that are only 110 calories per pack and just 7% fat. Someone who agrees with me is this mystery lady, the winner of the Fridge Raiders competition, as featured exclusively in the one and only grab! two weeks ago. Not only did she agree Fridge Raiders are pretty good for you, she reckoned they look so delish she just had to get to them first. And here she is – caught raiding the Fridge Raiders mini-fridge in the Students’ Union! Not content with taking away a mountainous supply of bite-sized chicken, this fridge raider also took the fridge home. If anyone recognises her, it’s okay - she won the competition. Congratulations also to ALICE WALKER and BEN HILL, who won tickets to see Bass Invaders and Grease: The Musical respectively. And, not to forget LAURA DAVIES, who’s taking her entire house to Fat Friday for free this week.

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!



Media

November 28 2005

Page 21

media@gairrhydd.com

Podcasting? Keep your ears peeled

C

hris Moyles is doing The best of Moyles for the BBC, Heineken has got popular DJs available on its website, and three men in America have been dubbed the 'Podfathers'. Although introduced in 2004, podcasting has remained relatively unknown, or most certainly not talked about. However, the last few months has seen podcasting take the internet and broadcasting world by storm.

But what is it? When presented with the term 'podcasting', it is easy to immediately think of it as being the latest 'innovation' to do with iPods from Apple. However, it does not mean that podcasting and downloading podcasts (being the audio or visual files published on the net) is restricted to iPods. Podcasting can be done on any digital audio or video player containing either an mp3 or any other similar formatted file, which enables the storage of audio or visual content and thus allows for the collecting, storing and downloading of podcasts. Simply put, podcasting is the broadcasting or publishing process of these audio files along new feeds from which listeners can select the podcast of their choice and download it onto either their computers or portable digital players. By podcasting, you are making your created audio file accessible online for other individuals to listen to. Proving to be increasingly beneficial, podcasting allows the distribution of selected radio shows, bands, sports coverage, religious sermons, political speeches or even foreign language instruction. However, understanding what the term podcast and podcasting means is one thing, but knowing how it works is a completely different, and as I have found out, more difficult matter.

A technical overview Podcasting collects and distributes audio files through Really Simple Syndication, more simply referred to as RSS. General RSS feed formats are used to summarize and organize web contents. With regards to podcasting, RSS is used as the news feed to deliver the podcasts. The RSS 2.0 arrangement was developed by David Winer, one of the main 'personalities' behind the creation and spread of podcasts. Adam

Curry was, in essence, the main promoter behind the podcast concept, and he joined forces with Winer, who acted as one of the leading figures behind the technological development of podcasting. Curry and Winer soon acquired the nickname of the “podfathers” of podcasting.

The Curry concept Curry is a former American video jockey and MTV host and he has, since his youth, carried a fascination and hobby for technology and radio. Curry had often imagined how useful it would be to have a 'standalone' system that would allow for mp3 files to automatically download themselves and store onto his iPod. However, Curry's initial attempt to find software developers that could create his program failed and even though he himself was not a computer programmer, he nonetheless worked on trying to create podcasting software. Eventually, Curry managed to construct a 'rough' podcasting software, known as iPodder. He released his program onto the internet with the hope that developers would contribute to the software and either develop or fix it. Then with the collaboration of Winer and Tristan Louis, a further entrepreneur involved in the development of podcasting and RSS feeds, Curry was able to develop podcasting even further making it into the success it is today.

Podcast Possibilities With podcasting, you now have the opportunity and freedom to listen to your favourite podcasts, whenever and wherever you want. Before you can listen to the podcasts of your choice, you will need to download a news aggregator, which gathers syndicated web content. RSS is an example of an aggregator and generally the one used for podcasting. The purpose for the aggregator is that it will enable you to subscribe to the feeds, not only allowing you to receive the material of your choice, but it will also regularly check and up-date the content of it, at time intervals of your choice, then automatically downloading the content onto your computer or audio player. Podcasting has become one of the fastest-growing crazes. In the space of less than a year, it has gone from being a virtually unknown tool used mostly by either technological buffs or broad-

iPOD: Any digital or audio player with MP3 can store podcasts

casting experts to currently becoming a large-scale phenomenon accessible to a mass public from across the world. The broadcasting of podcasts via the internet is primarily the reason why this phenomenon has gained international fame and popularity. However, similar to the launch of any new program provided by the internet, this has instigated a series of concerns and questions regarding the filtering and policing of podcast content. Podcasts are very easily accessible on the internet, and with good reason. You only need to type the word on Google to come across thousands of different possibilities with podcasts from across the world. They are also relatively cheap to produce, the main costs being for the provision of the basic technical equipment, if you don't already have it. The equipment needed is a computer with an internet connection, along with a microphone and finally a handful of creative and original ideas. Then, to actually publish a podcast is free.

So, this accessibility of podcasts combined with the fact that it is both relatively cheap and trouble-free to produce and publish them, has engineered concerns with regards that it is difficult

MARK CURRY: From MTV to Podfather via Pat Sharpe to control and detect possible offensive and controversial content. There is a fear that podcasts could become a new method of preaching and distributing controversial and offensive information across international borders, to thousands of listeners. But the positive arguments for podcasting remain, for the moment, the focus of media. Due to the novelty of the podcasting phenomenon, we are still at a learning and developing phase where there is a constant refining and developing of the product, being undertaken by experts. As podcasting establishes itself more and more in society and mass media, its understanding and application will become each time, simplified and more straightforward.

The birth of a phenomenon Curry's original intention for podcasting was that it would provide a forum for people and ‘real voices’ to

express themselves. Podcasting could be seen as a centre for personal expression, ranging from recording thoughts, poetry or music, to name just a few. Podcasting video, for example, is growing in both market and popularity, allowing you to view your favourite television soaps when and where you please. The process of creating a podcast stil remains somewhat technologically challenging for the mainstream public. If you are a podcasting fresher, the whole process of searching for a podcast that suits you may be a bit of a long and daunting process. Here are just a few addresses that may prove helpful and useful while on your quest to podcasting: iPodder.org and PodcastAlley.com will provide lists of podcasts of all sorts. If you fancy being a podcaster yourself, but want to get more detailed info, mypods.net and podcasting-tools.com are two out of thousands of helpful websites.


Problem Page

Page 22

November 28 2005

problempage@gairrhydd.com

Amber Duval DISPENSER OF FILTH AND / OR LIFE ADVICE

This week: gaming, g-strings, gorillas and grannies. Hello, girls, boys and in-betweeners! I seem to have attracted a lot of boys this week - in fact, all my problems are male this issue. But I know that you girls are having problems too - just the other night I went out and saw a girl giving what I must consider to have been a very bad blow-job from the amount of blood spattering the pavement and the look on fellatee’s face! So if you feel you need help, do get in touch! By the way, is it wrong to fancy Daniel Radcliffe? Is it true he’s still only twelve? Oh, mercy! x Email: problempage@gairrhydd.com.

Dear Amber, PLEASE HELP! I have a difficult and embarrassing problem that I just don't know what I should do about. I am a third-year medic and although I consider myself to be quite attractive, I have not had a girlfriend for a couple of years. I have concluded this is because of

Dear Amber, I’ve always thought I was a charming and witty guy. Yes, I’m not that good-looking, but I try my best to be a good conversationalist, and I’ve always got some hilarious anecdote at the ready to impress my mates or woo the ladies. I really like films and comedy, especially things like and . I really like madcap films like the movie. Because I like these things so much, I watch them , and consequently, I can quote most of them pat. When I invite my friends round for a beer or two, I’ll always stick a good DVD on, like some good homegrown comedy series as above. However, as I’ve seen them so much I always laugh before the funny bit, or quote the punch line as soon as the scene unfolds. You know how everyone does the catchphrases to each other all the time? I was doing that first! I never really saw it as a problem, but now my mates are saying they don’t want to come round any more as I ruin all the ‘funny’ bits, and worse, my girlfriend says that if I don’t stop saying ‘what a liberty’ to her in an old woman voice when she attempts to give me a blow-job then she’ll kill me with a spanner. I don’t think it’s a problem – so what’s wrong with everyone else?

my 'problem'. I am extremely hairy, even for a man. In fact, I am even quite hairy by most animal standards. I have to wear really big roll-neck jumpers because otherwise my chest hair sprouts over anything over such as a round neck t-shirt. I also have to wear a vest under my shirts otherwise my hair protrudes between the buttons as well. This means that I get very sweaty in the daytime and then the sweat mats the hair turning into something like dreadlocks. I have to shave at least twice a day and I

Waiting for your response, Andy, Fanny Street, Cathays.

always look like I have stubble. I trim my nose hair and yet it seems to grow back almost within hours. The hair is really thick and dark and very unsightly. Ideally, I would be clean skinned with nothing but a light downy covering of fair fine hair like my other very attractive male friends. And they really are very, very attractive. I want to ask someone for help about this but I am concerned about appearing to be vain or effeminate. Instead, I have taken to leaving my

Dear Amber, HELP! I have an unhealthy and costly addiction that I just don't know what to do about. I think I am obsessed with buying underwear. It began a year ago when Marks and Spencer’s had a sale and I bought a red frilly bra. This was the most risqué item I had ever bought. In the past my bras had always been white, un-padded and plain, and I only ever wore one when I thought I needed it. I got such a thrill out of wearing my red bra that I just had to buy some

Dear Amber, I KNOW I have a problem and in many ways I don’t want to do anything about it, but I am beginning to detect early signs of madness in myself (frothing at the mouth involuntarily, shaving my toes etc.). When I was small I had a Sega MegaDrive and a Gameboy for those wretched car journeys. However, most little boys had similar gaming apparatus so I was not far from the norm at all. As I got older however, my parents bought me a PC, and that’s when my life began to change. Now, I know what you’re thinking, Amber – that I

shaven hairs all over the bathroom every morning, in the hope that one of my female housemates will complain to me about this in order that I can open my heart to them, but as yet they have ignored my plight and have paid no attentioon to my cry for help.. Please, Amber, what should I do? I don't want to be a smelly sasquatch with chest-dreads for ever!

AMBER SAYS:

Love, Hairy from Roath.

Hope that this helps! Lots of love, Amber xxx

more. Within one month I have bought 80 bras and 60 pairs of pants, in various colours, shapes and styles. I would spend hours locked away in my room, trying them on and parading in front of my mirror, until eventually I plucked up the courage to put them on under my clothes and venture out of the house in them. It was an amazing feeling, I felt liberated and free in a whole new way. But suddenly, the underwear I had just was not enough. I started scouring every shop in town and numerous websites for new, different underwear: lacy, silky, cottony, PVC-y, padded, gel-filled, underwired, push-up, seethrough, peep hole - anything that was different. I am now several thousand pounds in debt and I can barely fit any more pants, bras or basques into any of the

cupboards in my house, all because of my underwear addiction. I am also slightly concerned that my rugby mates might find out, and chuck me off the team for behaviour inappropriate to your typical redblooded boozy rugby bloke. What should I do? Alistair, Cathays.

was on ExtremeAnal.com all the day long, but in fact in wasn’t like that at all. In fact, I spent all the time I wasn’t at school, asleep or wanking playing games on my PC. So things started to get a bit obsessive for me with the arrival of my PC. When I was 15, my friends started to go out and try and get served in the Hanging Dog, I preferred to stay at home playing Doom. And with the arrival of the internet, I learnt to play games online against real people. I felt like my life was complete. The gaming quickly absorbed my entire teenage years, and all of a sudden I realised that I was 18 and supposed to be going to Uni. When I learnt I could take my PC and plug in into an internet connection point in my university hall, I was thrilled. My mum and dad said things when I left like “we’re sure you’ll make some

lovely friends”, but to be honest I thought I had the best mates ever in Neo, Satchel, Driver and Skin, who are my online pals, and no-one could be better. However, as the term has progressed I’ve found that I am incredibly lonely as my online gang have started to not play the all night tournaments anymore, and they seem to be getting on with their own lives and because I haven’t bothered to make any Uni friends, I have no-one. What can I do? Yours, Gary, Talybont.

Dear Hairy, I, as a rather hirsuite woman, hear your call of anguish. But there’s something to be said for hairy women - I know loads of men who like a gawp at a good hairy vadge - but men? Well, hairy men are vile. Oh well.

AMBER SAYS: Dear Alistair, Oh dear. I can see why you feel so bad you need my help. But do rest assured that millions of women can’t be wrong, wearing bras and pants as they do on a daily basis. I hope this helps. Love from, Amber xxx

AMBER SAYS: Dear Gary, I can see why you have no friends. Poor you. Lots of love, Amber xxx

Need help? Email Amber: problempage@gairrhydd.com


Award-Winning Television

November 28 2005

Page 23

tv@gairrhydd.com

Sifting the Westwoods from the TV Westlifes: Nov 28 - Dec 4

Hearse it on the great rhyme

It’s Boom! Shake the vroom as Deputy Dawg Takes the front seat

HOT

TV Desk Cool List -

I’ve been holding back on this for a few weeks now, because it hasn’t been ridiculous enough for what the concept actually is but I can’t keep it in anymore. Pimp My Ride UK (Ch4 Friday 6.30pm) is here, Tim Westwood, the Big Dawg is ain’t the driving seat, and like an epileptic at an Iron Madien concert, it’s suddenly gone mental.

boring gobshites dribbling Ch4 Everybody Loves Raymond, (8pm)

NOT

NME Cool List -

Peep Show

1.10am)

King of The Hill (Ch4

Bing Crosby

Soaps

Film The River Wild

Corrie tongue chewing testicles

HEARSE

Ross. Priceless

James Blunt

Tonight With Jonathan (10.35pm) Ch4 Evening

turd-sniffers

Vegas

Fear and Loathing in Las

(11.40pm).

Wed, Ch4 12.10am Jools Holland - Cool Britannia 2 (BBC2 11.35pm)

Sport The Carling Cup

11.30pm.

Fudge Tunnel 69

Match of the Day.

DVDS TO RENT/BUY

Radio

special edition Wild At Heart.

Lamacq Live

5

It’s most definitely Chico ‘time’

ITV1, Wednesday, at

Season 6

Monday 28th November.

Season


Page 24

November 28 - December 4 2005 doyourbloodyemailaddresses@everybloodyweek.com

STUDENT SAVER ANY PIZZA ANY SIZE ONLY £9.89 DELIVERED! 029 20229977

19:00 7 O'Clock News on BBC Three 19:30 Honey We're Killing the Kids Revisited 20:00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 21:00 Trauma Uncut 21:30 Trauma Uncut 22:00 EastEnders 22:30 Little Britain 23:00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 23:30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 24:00 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 24:30 The Comic Side of 7 Days 01:00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 01:55 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 02:25 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 02:55 Who Rules the Roost? 03:55 Close I’m almost getting fed up of the sound of my own whingeing, here week in, week out. So here are some things to be thankful for: Deal or No Deal, Jetplane Landing, Cloudy Lemonade, Kiwis, Chilli Walkers Sensations, Mogwai, Green pens, Football Manager 2006, Lidl’s Tortellini...nope, can’t do it, here’s some things that are really shit: the draft from my bedroom window, that all Lidl’s pasta sauces are

19:00 Coast 20:00 The World 20:30 African School 21:00 Drama Documentary: Imagining the Truth 22:00 Shakespeare's Happy Endings 23:00 Midsummer Nights Dreaming 23:30 Storyville: Control Room 01:00 Drama Documentary: Imagining the Truth 02:00 Shakespeare's Happy Endings 03:00 African School 03:30 Midsummer Nights Dreaming 04:00 Close horrible, the NME cool list, impending political thought essays, the fact that every day is like any other day, badly written books, that I’m shit on the new Football Manager, sitting at the internet waiting for something to happen all day every day, having a rotation policy of only three different meals that I eat, the queues at Lidl’s, always being too hot whilst inside, not really being able to think about anything because my brain is just on a constant hummmmmmmmm, iPods because they break and that’s pretty much all they do, the prospect of not leaving the office until hour X tonight. Incidentally, the TV Desk

6:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 7:00 GMTV 2 8:35 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 10:25 Sally Jessy Raphael 11:10 Judge Judy 12:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1:30 Coronation Street 2:00 Emmerdale 2:30 Emmerdale 3:00 The Ricki Lake Show 3:50 Trisha 4:55 Sally Jessy Raphael 5:45 Movies Now 6:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Jungle Drums 7:00 3rd Rock from the Sun Two-faced Dick 7:30 Spin City Rain on My Charades 8:00 Airline 8:30 Airline 9:00 Real Crime: Cracking the Killer's Code 10:00 Orange Playlist 10:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! 11:35 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 0:25 Coronation Street 0:55 Coronation Street 1:20 3rd Rock from the Sun Twofaced Dick 1:40 Spin City 2:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live email account is now well and truly working so please feel free to drop us a line/idea/ complaint/compliment/spot of general banter on the email address displayed auf rechts:

five 8.00am

6:00 Morning Glory 7:00 Morning Glory 8:00 Wake Up With... Liberty X 9:00 Freshly Squeezed Tunes 10:00 Whatever... You Want 11:00 Whatever... You Want 12:00 On This Day 1:00 Hijacked By... 2:00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years: Recruit 2:55 Playing It Straight 3:55 Switched 4:25 Hollyoaks 4:55 Friends: The One Where The Stripper Cries 5:30 Friends: The One With Phoebe's Wedding 6:05 Smallville: Superman The Early Years: Recruit 7:00 Hollyoaks 7:30 Switched 7:55 Friends: The One Where The Stripper Cries 8:30 Friends: The One With Phoebe's Wedding 9:00 Hollyoaks Let Loose 10:00 Desperado 12:00 Peep Show 12:35 Porn: A Family Business: New Asspirations 1:10 Porn: A Family Business Yr 2 1:40 Hollyoaks Let Loose 2:40 Peep Show 3:05 Porn: A Family Business: New Aspirations 3:30 Porn: A Family Business: Topless In Tampa 4:00 Playing It Straight 5:00 Switched 5:20 Switched tv@gairrhydd.com

E

T

I

M

E

06:00 Titch 06:10 Old Bear Stories 06:20 Rolie Polie Olie 06:50 Hi-5 07:25 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his Best Friend Corky 07:45 Make Way for Noddy 08:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 08:20 Peppa Pig 08:30 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:40 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 09:00 Softies 09:05 Franny's Feet 09:15 MechaNick 09:25 The Wright Stuff 10:30 Trisha Goddard 11:30 five news 12:00 Home and Away 12:30 BrainTeaser 13:30 Film: "The Madness Within" 15:30 Film: "Columbo: Strange Bedfellows" 17:30 five news 18:00 Home and Away 18:30 Family Affairs 19:00 five news 19:15 The Gadget Show 20:00 Fifth Gear behind a post as any real man would. And then we went and did handbrake turns on the ice in Talybont car park. Well, I didn’t, I sat in the back, busy practising misanthropy. I was hoping that the car would flip and I would die, but it would seem for another week my prayers go unanswered. So here’s hoping this is the last time I bring a segment of TV Desk to you, it’d be convenient for me to die this week as there’s no point in handing my essays in/starting them, if I’m going to be dead. Also it’s my birthday soon and I’d probably get more sympathy as a dead teenager rather than a dead twenty year old. 21:00 Murder Prevention 23:00 Zero Hour: Massacre at Columbine High 24:00 Peter Benchley's Amazon 24:50 Boxing 01:40 NFL Live Monday Night American Football 05:35 Motorsport Mundial

M

6:05 Making It: Ben And S Paint A Mural 6:10 The Hoobs: Big Loaf 6:35 The Hoobs: It's A Mystery 7:00 B4 7:30 Friends: The One With The Cuffs 8:00 Just Shoot Me: The Odd Couple 8:25 Will & Grace: Love And Marriage 8:55 Frasier: Three Days Of The Condo 9:25 Pure Passion: I Love What I Do 9:30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 9:55 Re-Writing History: What If Footballers Never Became Millionaires? 10:00 Tate Modern: Different Dimensions 10:05 The Illustrated Mum 11:50 Tate Modern: Pharmacy 11:55 Re-Writing History: What If Windrush Had Never Docked? 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Ed: The Dre 1:20 The First Of The Few 3:30 Countdown 4:15 Deal Or No Deal 5:00 Richard & Judy 6:00 The Simpsons 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:55 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2005 8:00 Priest Idol 9:00 Time Time Special: Journey To Stonehenge 10:00 Without A Trace: Manhunt 11:00 Sleeping With Teacher 12:00 Beautiful People Premiere Wide 2:00 The Truth About Female Desire 3:00 Sexology: Armed Robbery Orgasm 4:00 When The Romans Came To Wales 4:15 When The Romans Came To Wales 4:30 King Jamie And The Angel 4:45 Handmade 2: Ad Madebe Creates An African Fly 4:50 Animated Tales Of The World: Bad Baby Amy 5:05 Off With Mcgough 5:15 Animated Tales Of The World 2: Persephone 5:30 Making It 2: Dylan And Friends Create Masks 5:35 Extra 3: Auf Deutsch - Hochzeitsplane 6:00 Close (quite convincingly considering my guffawing, i must say)

I

6:00 GMTV News Hour 7:00 GMTV Today 8:35 LK Today 9:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show Single Dad, But Are They Mine? 10:30 This Morning 12:00 This Morning - I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 1:30 Today with Des and Mel 2:30 Steal That Style 3:30 Pocoyo A Present for Elly 3:35 Mr Bean 3:50 Art Attack Mini Makes 4:00 Feel the Fear Holly v Rollercoasters 4:30 You Say We Play: My Parents Are Aliens 5:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 6:00 Wales Tonight 6:30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00 Emmerdale 7:30 Coronation Street 8:00 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 8:30 Coronation Street 9:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 10:30 ITV News 11:00 The Food Awards 0:00 Champions League Weekly 0:25 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 2:00 60 Minute Makeover 2:55 Love 2 Shop 3:20 Redcoats 3:45 Entertainment Now! 4:10 Tonight with Trevor McDonald 4:40 ITV Nightscreen 5:30 ITV Early Morning News and so i told him so. The checkout woman said that I probably wouldn’t tell him even if he was right. She was correct. Alex thought otherwise and said so. The reason he gave for thinking I would share this information with him came as follows: “Because I will give him sexual favours later”. Now, I don’t know if you have much experience of middle aged check out women, but apparently they dont find sexual humour, especially homoerotic sexual humour very amusing. So I went and hid

Fifi and the Flowertots

PRIMETIME

6:00am: Close7:00 CBBC: Looney Tunes 7:05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 7:30 The Stables 7:55 Newsround 8:00 Really Wild Show 8:30 CBeebies: Cbeebies Birthdays: Lazytown 9:00 Pingu 9:05 Clifford's Puppy Days 9:25 Barnaby Bear 9:40 Tweenies 10:00 The Future is Wild 10:30 Primary Geography: Using the Land 11:00 What? Where? When? Why? Talking Rubbish: What is Rubbish? 11:15 Words and Pictures 11:30 Words and Pictures 11:45 Watch Weather Wind. What is wind? What does it do? Where does it come from? 12:00pm: The Daily Politics 12:30 Working Lunch 1:00 The Maths Channel - Year 6 1:10 The Maths Channel - Year 6 1:20 The Maths Channel - Year 6 1:30 FILM: Day of the Evil Gun 3:00 Hands on Nature 3:30 Uncharted Territory 4:30 Ready Steady Cook 5:15 Weakest Link 6:00 Eggheads 6:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00 Dickens in America 8:00 Dubai Dreams 8:30 University Challenge 9:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 9:30 Broken News 10:00 Have I Got News for You 10:30 Newsnight 11:20 In Search of Shakespeare 12:20am: Joins BBC News 24 3:00 Make Spanish Your Business 5:00 Working with the Spanish 5:30 Eurografters: Spain have thought that was actually how I walked. I wish it was. And then, when we got to the checkout i was innocently purchasing my goods, and so I typed in my PIN number, and my compadre Alex said aloud what he thought was my PIN number. He was incorrect

ITV1 1.30pm

PRIMETIME

6:00am: Breakfast 9:15 Animal Park 10:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45 Bargain Hunt 12:15pm: Cash in the Attic 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News and Weather 1:40 Neighbours 2:05 Doctors 3:20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25 CBBC: Bodger and Badger 4:05 Pinky and the Brain 4:30 Patrick's Planet 5:00 Blue Peter 5:25 Newsround 5:35 Neighbours 6:00 BBC News and Weather 6:30 Regional News Programmes 7:00 Holiday 2006 7:30 Real Story with Fiona Bruce 8:00 EastEnders 8:30 A Midsummer Night's Dream 10:00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35 They Think It's All Over Anyone remember when this was good? 11:05 Film 2005 with Jonathan Ross 11:35 FILM: Love Story 1:20am: Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2:10 Sign Zone: The Queen's Cavalry 2:40 Sign Zone: Coast 3:40 Sign Zone: Mind Your Own Business 4:10 Joins BBC News 24 Yeah, so, i don’t like TV very much and don’t want to spoil it for you by telling what goes on in these programmes so instead i thought i would be far more self indulgent and tell you what happened on my weekend. Wicked Sticks. The most part of my weekend occured on Sunday with a trip with my good friends Neil and Alex to Tescos. I didn’t buy much, but that doesn’t matter because we did a really funny walk all around the shop and eventually I could do it without laughing, so any bystanders may

Des and Mel

R

BBC1 4.05pm

P

Pinky And The Brain

BBC1 3.25pm

P R I M E T I M E

029 20229977

Bodger and Badger

PRIMETIME

BUY ANY LARGE PIZZA AT REGULAR PRICE & GET A 2nd for SMALL £2 MEDIUM £3 LARGE £4 – DELIVERED!

6:10 The Hoobs 06:35 The Hoobs 07:00 B4 07:25 Friends 07:55 Just Shoot Me 08:25 Will And Grace: The Big Vent 08:50 Will And Grace: Will On Ice 09:15 Miss Match 10:10 Miss Match: Addicted To Love 11:05 Er: Carter Est Amoureux 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Planed Plant Bach 12:30 Ribidirês 12:45 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 13:00 Tecwyn Y Tractor 13:15 House Auction 13:45 Deal Or No Deal 14:30 Deal Or No Deal 15:15 Countdown 16:00 Planed Plant 16:00 Martin Mellten 16:23 Calendr Adfent 16:25 Hip Neu Sgip? 16:50 Ffeil 17:00 Richard & Judy 18:00 The Simpsons: Bart Vs. Australia 18:30 Rownd A Rownd 19:00 Wedi 7 19:30 Newyddion 20:00 Pobol Y Cwm 20:25 Cwpwrdd Dillad 21:00 04 Wal 21:30 Sioe Gelf 22:00 Space Cadets 23:00 Lost: Deus Ex Machina 00:00 Death By Sex 00:55 Hollyoaks: No Going Back 01:20 Is This The Real Life?: The Queen Story 02:15 Bollywood Sirens: Jism 04:40 Ed: New Car Smell 05:25 Diwedd/Close Probably.


Tuesday

November 28 - December 4 2005

Page 25

ohhaveyoudoneitonpurpose?@i’llleavetherestthen.com

11:50 African School 12:20 BBC News 24 2:25 Sign Zone: How to Rescue 2:00 BBC Learning Zone: a House Schools: AS Guru: English 1 2:55 Sign Zone: Natural World 4:00 AS Guru: English 2 3:45 Joins BBC News 24

19:00 7 o'Clock News on BBC Three 19:30 Trauma 20:00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 21:00 Little Britain 21:30 Man Stroke Woman

22:00 EastEnders 22:30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 23:00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 23:30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 24:00 Swiss Toni 24:30 The Mighty Boosh 01:00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 01:55 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 02:25 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 02:55 Swiss Toni 03:25 The Mighty Boosh 03:55 Close

19:00 Coast 20:00 The World 20:30 Dinner with Portillo 21:00 British Documentary Awards 2005 22:20 Little Dieter Needs to Fly: Storyville 23:35 Drama Documentary: Imagining the Truth 24:35 British Documentary Awards 2005 01:55 Dinner with Portillo 02:25 The Lost Road: Overland to Singapore 03:05 Drama Documentary: Imagining the Truth 04:05 Close

6:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 7:00 GMTV2 8:35 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 10:25 Sally Jessy Raphael 11:10 Judge Judy 12:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 1:30 Airline 2:00 Coronation Street 2:30 Emmerdale 3:00 The Ricki Lake Show 3:50 Trisha 4:55 Sally Jessy Raphael 5:45 Movies Now 6:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Jungle Drums 7:00 3rd Rock from the Sun 7:30 Spin City You've Got Male 8:00 Jobs from Hell 9:00 Who Killed the Pageant Queen? The Prime Suspect 10:00 Planet's Funniest Animals 10:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now!11:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 0:00 The Frank Skinner Show 1:00 3rd Rock from the Sun 1:25 Spin City You've Got Male 1:50 Movies Now 2:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live

E

T

I

M

E

Titch 06:10 Old Bear Stories 06:20 Rolie Polie Olie 06:50 Hi5 07:25 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his Best Friend Corky 07:45 Make Way For Noddy 08:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 08:20 Peppa Pig 08:30 Roobarb and Custard Too 08:40 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 08:50 Bird Bath 09:00 Softies 09:05 Franny's Feet 09:15 MechaNick 09:25 The Wright Stuff 10:30 Trisha Goddard 11:30 five news 12:00 Home and Away 12:30 BrainTeaser 13:30 Film: "Two Mothers for Zachary" 15:30 Film: "Flight of Fancy" 17:30 five news 18:00 Home and Away 18:30 Family Affairs 19:00 five news

19:15 Brian Sewell's Grand Tour 20:00 The Da Vinci Code Myth: Revealed 21:00 CSI: Miami 22:00 CSI: NY

M

PRIMETIME

6:00 Cubeez: Happy Birthday Dink 6:10 The Hoobs: Lucky 6:35 The Hoobs: Hats 7:00 B4 7:30 Friends: The One With The Ballroom Dancing 8:00 Just Shoot Me: The Odd Couple 8:25 Will & Grace: A New Lease Of Life 8:55 Frasier: Death And The Dog 9:25 Pure Passion: I Love What I Do 9:30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 9:55 Sticks And Stones 10:45 How Sport Shook Up The World: ...And Changed A Nation 11:10 School Of Hard Knocks: Andrew Angus 11:35 Live Now, Pay Later: Dirty Dancing 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Ed: History Lessons 1:10 House Auction 1:40 David Copperfield 3:30 Countdown 4:15 Deal Or No Deal 5:00 Richard & Judy 6:00 The Simpsons: Homer Vs. Patty And Selma 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:55 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2005 8:00 Property Ladder 9:00 Wife Swap 10:00 The Ghost Squad: Heroes 11:00 Richard Ashcroft: Video Exclusive 11:05 Fatal Attraction 12:05 The Pillow Book Wide 2:25 Dubplate Drama 2:40 Coming Up: Viva Liberty 3:05 Dispatches: Erica's Secret She 4:00 Health & Social Care: Dealing With Life 4:25 Real Science: Wannabe Biker 4:50 In Search Of The Tartan Turban 5:15 Science In Focus Special: Steve Sparks The Man In The Silver Suit 5:35 Extra 3: En Espanol - Boda En Elaire 6:00 Close

I

R P

9:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 10:30 ITV News 11:00 Born in the USSR: 21 Up 0:05 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 2:00 FILM: The Real Howard Spitz 3:35 Mixmasters 4:00 ITV Nightscreen 5:30 ITV Early Morning News

E4 12.35pm

P

M

E

T

I

M

E

6:00 GMTV News Hour with John Stapleton and Penny Smith 9:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show Sister, Your Daughter Needs You 10:30 This Morning 12:00 This Morning I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 1:30 Today with Des and Mel 2:30 Steal That Style 3:30 Pocoyo The Big Sneeze 3:35 Mr Bean 3:50 MOM's Name That Tone 4:00 Jungle Run 4:30 My Parents are Aliens. A Choco-lips Now! 5:00 The Paul O'Grady Show 6:00 Wales Tonight 6:30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00 Emmerdale 7:30 Land of My Father 8:00 The Bill

I

PRIMETIME

6:00 BBC News and Weather 6:30 Regional News Programmes 7:00 Watchdog 7:30 EastEnders 8:00 Holby City 9:00 Shipmates 10:00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35 ONE Life 11:25 Medium 1:40 Sign Zone: See Hear

6:00am: Close 7:00 CBBC: Looney Tunes 7:05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 7:30 The Stables 7:55 Newsround 8:00 Really Wild Show 8:30 CBeebies: Cbeebies Birthdays: Lazytown 9:00 Pingu 9:05 Clifford's Puppy Days 9:25 Barnaby Bear 9:40 Tweenies 10:00 The Future Is Wild 10:30 See You, See Me Are You EcoFriendly? 10:50 Primary Geography India: Desert India Rajasthan 11:10 Timewatch 12:00pm: The Daily Politics 12:30 Working Lunch 1:00 Pod's Mission 1:15 Pod's Mission 1:30 FILM: Tension at Table Rock 3:00 Hands on Nature 3:30 Uncharted Territory 4:30 Ready Steady Cook 5:15 Weakest Link 6:00 Eggheads 6:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00 Top Gear 8:00 Dragon's Den 9:00 Making Slough Happy 10:00 Grumpy Old Women at Christmas 10:30 Newsnight 11:20 African School

PRIMETIME

6:00am: Breakfast 9:15 Animal Park 10:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45 Bargain Hunt 12:15pm: Cash in the Attic 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News and Weather 1:40 Neighbours 2:05 Doctors 2:35 Murder, She Wrote 3:20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25 CBBC: Bodger and Badger 3:40 Mona the Vampire 4:05 Jackie Chan Adventures 4:30 SMart 5:00 Dance Factory 5:25 Newsround 5:35 Neighbours

ITV2 8pm

R

BBC2 1.00pm

BBC1 9.00pm

23:00 Law and Order 23:55 Fifth Gear 24:55 The Dead Zone 01:40 NBA Basketball 04:35 Argentinian Football

6:00 Morning Glory 7:00 Morning Glory 8:00 Wake Up With... 9:00 Freshly Squeezed Tunes 10:00 Whatever... You Want 11:00 Whatever... You Want 12:00 On This Day 1:00 Hijacked By... Girls Aloud 2:00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years: Krypto 2:55 Playing It Straight 4:00 Switched 4:30 Hollyoaks 5:00 Friends: The One Where Joey Speaks French 5:30 Friends: The One With Princess Consuela 6:00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years: Krypto 7:00 Hollyoaks 7:30 Switched 8:00 Friends: The One Where Joey Speaks French 8:30 Friends: The One With Princess Consuela 9:00 Without A Trace: Transitions 10:00 Rajan And His Evil Hypnotists 10:30 Rock School 11:00 The Ghost Squad: The Greater Good 12:05 Dubplate Dr a 12:35 8 Out Of 10 Cats 1:05 Without A Trace: Transitions 2:00 Rock School 2:30 Rajan And His Evil Hypnotists 2:55 No Angels 3:55 Playing It Straight 4:55 Switched 5:15 Switched 5:35 Switched

6:10 The Hoobs 06:35 The Hoobs 07:00 B4 07:25 Friends 07:55 Just Shoot Me 08:25 Will And Grace: The Big Vent 08:50 Will And Grace: Will On Ice 09:15 Miss Match 10:10 Miss Match: Addicted To Love 11:05 Er: Carter Est Amoureux 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Planed Plant Bach 12:30 Ribidirês 12:45 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 13:00 Tecwyn Y Tractor 13:15 House Auction 13:45 Deal Or No Deal 14:30 Deal Or No Deal 15:15 Countdown 16:00 Planed Plant 16:00 Martin Mellten 16:23 Calendr Adfent 16:25 Hip Neu Sgip? 16:50 Ffeil 17:00 Richard & Judy 18:00 The Simpsons: Bart Vs. Australia 18:30 Rownd A Rownd 19:00 Wedi 7 19:30 Newyddion 20:00 Pobol Y Cwm 20:25 Cwpwrdd Dillad 21:00 04 Wal 21:30 Sioe Gelf 22:00 Space Cadets 23:00 Lost: Deus Ex Machina 00:00 Death By Sex 00:55 Hollyoaks: No Going Back 01:20 Is This The Real Life?: The Queen Story 02:15 Bollywood Sirens: Jism 04:40 Ed: New Car Smell 05:25 Diwedd/Close


Page 26

November 28 - December 4 2005 brainrot@TV Desk.com

STUDENT SAVER ANY PIZZA ANY SIZE ONLY £9.89 DELIVERED! 029 20229977

19.00 7 o'Clock News on BBC Three 19.30 Trauma 20.00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 21.00 Film: "LA Confidential" 23.10 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 23.40 Desperate Midwives 24.10 Desperate Midwives 24.40 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 01.40 Honey We're Killing the Kids Revisited This time the kids are being massacred with a spoon and a loaf of bread. 02.10 Would You Buy a House with a Stranger? 03.05 Desperate Midwives Ok, I can hear TV John yelling from the corner of the office, I think he’s having a paddy about the new film The Libertine, I don’t think he like it. 03.35 Desperate Midwives 04.05 Close I’ve been invited to a party next week for which I have to dress up as something beginning with ‘p’. My ideas include; Popeye, Pingu, policewoman, pokemon, a pringle, a pansy, pancake, poodle, ‘Pink lady’, porky pig, puff the magic dragon, Priscilla Presley….but I’ll probably just end up going as a punk.

19.00 Battle for the Holy City: Days That Shook the World 20.00 The World is blue and green, floaty and spinny. 20.30 Yes, Prime Minister 21.00 French Exchange Bonjour! Je m’appelle Jane. Je suis assez petite et mince. Je suis dix-neuf ans et mon anniversaire et le premiere Novembre. J’aime la musique, le theatre, le cinema et le manger. Je deteste le netball et le coleur violet. J’habite dans Cardiff, c’est tres bon. Did that make any sense? I think that’s about everything I learnt at GCSE. 22.00 House of Cards 23.00 A Very British Olympics would include cream teas, strawberries and cream, roast dinners, bangers and mash, apple crumble, bread and butter pudding and absolutely no sport what so ever because we suck and sport is for losers anyway (to quote TV Grace) we may have an air guitar competition though, that’d be fun.24.00 Homes For Heroes 01.00 Battle for the Holy City: Days That Shook the World 02.00 French Exchange 03.00 A Very British Olympics 04.00 Close

I

M

E

T

I

M

E

6.00 GMTV. 6.00 GMTV News Hour 8.35 LK Today 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. I Didn't Sleep with Two Other Men - DNA Results 10.30 This Morning. 12.00 This Morning - I'm a Celebrity Special. 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather. 1.30 Today with Des and Mel. 2.30 Steal That Style. 3.30 Pocoyo. Double Bubble 3.35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series. Inventor 3.55 Potatoes and Dragons. Endangered Dragon 4.05 Art Attack. 4.30 My Parents are Aliens. The Tail of the Knitted Map 5.00 The Paul O'Grady Show. 6.00 Wales Tonight. 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale. 7.30 Coronation Street. 8.00 The Bill. 9.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! OK I am, admittedly, not a celebrity, but will someone please get me out of here??? I’m currently trying to write the TV listings from my room this week as we all thought it might be a good idea to do a bit of homework as then we may leave the office before 2am, which would be nice. Anyway, my ‘work’ is being hindered by my neighbour who is currently playing the same shitty song over and over and over again. I have no idea what it is but it’s slowly killing me........ 10.30 ITV News. 11.00 It's My Shout. 11.30 Carling Cup Highlights. 0.30 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live. 2.00 cd:uk Hotshots. 2.25 ITV MOVIE CLASSIC SEASON:FILM: The Man Who Knew Too Much. (1956, Thriller) 4.25 ITV Nightscreen.

R

6:00am: Close7:00 CBBC: Looney Tunes7:05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 7:30 The Stables 7:55 8:00 Really Wild Show 8:30 CBeebies: Cbeebies Birthdays: Lazytown 9:00 Pingu 9:05 Clifford's Puppy Days were intensely boring as he never really enjoyed his youth because he stayed in all the time playing on his lap top and writing TV listings. 9:25 Barnaby Bear 9:40 Tweenies 10:00 The Flying Gardener 10:10 The Flying Gardener 10:20 Bob Hope: The Road to the Top 11:15 Archbishop for York 1:30pm: Working Lunch 2:00 The Perfect Holiday 2:30 Garden Invaders 3:00 Hands on Nature 3:30 Uncharted Territory 4:30 Ready Steady Cook 5:15 Weakest Link 6:00 Eggheads 6:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two to make babies. 7:00 Mechannibals 7:30 Rough Science 8:00 Natural World 8:50 Squirrel Island 9:00 Rome 9:50 Scandal 10:20 What the Romans Did for Us Ate loads of food until they were sick so then they could eat some more, very helpful. 10:30 Newsnight 11:20 Art Safari 11:50 Art Safari Rolf Harris and David Attenborough go on safari to decorate some lions and tigers, leopard print is soooo last season darling. 12:20am: Joins BBC News 242:00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Blast Takes Over 4:00 Science Zone Photosynthesis, chloroplasts, chlorophyll, cytoplasm, cell wall, organisms, arteries, veins, brain rot, dead dogs, wonky leg, overgrown foot, gooey eye, fat face, big head, blah blah, blah, blah..................................

BBC 1 11.40pm

P

6:00am: Breakfast This morning I had a ‘Cuppa Soup’ and 2 pieces of toast, nice. 9:15 Animal Park 10:00 Homes under the Hammer 11:00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45 Bargain Hunt 12:15pm: Cash in the Attic 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News and Weather 1:40 Neighbours 2:05 Doctors always make me feel bad for going to see them, I think I could have my leg hanging off and my brain slowly rotting and I’d still feel like I was wasting their precious time. 2:35 Murder, She Wrote 3:20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25 CBBC: Bodger and Badger 3:40 Mona the Vampire 4:05 Jackie Chan Adventures 4:30 SMart That’s TV Desk for you! 5:00 Blue Peter 5:25 Newsround 5:35 Neighbours 6:00 BBC News and Weather 6:30 Regional News Programmes 7:00 Honey We're Killing the Kids slowly and painfully, with a big block of cheese and a fat wet kipper. 8:00 What Not to Wear Have They Remembered ? 9:00 Life in the Undergrowth 10:00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35 The National Lottery: Midweek Draws Eamonn Holmes presents the midweek Lottery draws 10:40 Imagine Amos Oz 11:40 FILM: Alfie 1:35am: Sign Zone: ONE Life 2:15 Sign Zone: Garden School 2:45 Sign Zone: Coast 3:45 Sign Zone: Spending Other People's Money 4:15 Joins BBC News 24

FILM: Alfie

6.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live 7.00 GMTV2 8.35 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live10.25 Sally Jessy Raphael. 11.10 Judge Judy12.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show Did you see the show the other day where Jeremy just started screaming at this poor kid? I think he has some issues of his own.1.30 Airline 2.00 Coronation Street 2.30 Emmerdale3.00 The Ricki Lake Show3.50 Trisha 4.55 Sally Jessy Raphael5.45 Movies Now 6.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Jungle Drums7.00 3rd Rock from the Sun. Dick and Taxes7.30 Spin City. 8.00 The Xtra Factor: 24/7 9.00 My Teen's a Nightmare - I'm Moving Out 10.00 Coronation Street 10.30 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here Now! My ears are bleeding, my head is throbbing and my blood pressure is so high and I’m starting to feel psychotic.... 11.30 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live 0.30 3rd Rock from the Sun 1.00 Spin City 1.20 The Ricki Lake Show 2.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

Eggheads

BBC2 6pm

6:00 The Treacle People: Treacle Trouble 6:10 The Hoobs: C el 6:35 The Hoobs: Talking To Yourself 7:00 B4 7:30 Friends: The One With Joey's Girlfriend 8:00 Just Shoot Me: A Divorce To Remember 8:25 Will & Grace: Head Case 8:55 Frasier: Four For The See-Saw 9:25 3 Minute Wonder: Bully 4 U: Teacher 9:30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 9:55 Young Black Farmers 10:45 How Sport Shook Up The World: Battle Of The Sexes 11:10 School Of Hard Knocks: Tom Baker 11:35 Live Now, Pay Later: 21 And Broke that would be most students then. 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Ed: Death, Debt & Dating 1:20 Grudge Match 1:30 My Eden 1:35 David Copperfield 3:30 Countdown 4:15 Deal Or No Deal 5:00 Richard & Judy 6:00 The Simpsons: A Star Is Burns 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:55 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2005 8:00 River Cottage Road Trip 9:00 Grand Designs 10:00 Lost: Numbers 11:05 Sex Addict 12:10 Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas .....No offence to my neighbour, who is indeed lovely and very sweet, but darling, please try to refrain from playing the same song ten times in a row, ok? Please?....2:20 World Cup Skiing 4:10 Transworld Sport 5:05 Countdown 5:50 Close ....Oh my life! Please change the track! Take it off repeat please! I feel like banging my head against the wall until all remaining specks of sense are knocked out of it. But I shall refrain myself and just turn up Bowie another notch…

6:00 Morning Glory 7:00 Morning Glory 8:00 Wake Up With... 50 Cent 9:00 Freshly Squeezed Tunes 10:00 Whatever... You Want 11:00 Whatever... You Want 12:00 On This Day 1:00 Hijacked By My Chemical Romance 2:00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years: Sacred 3:00 Playing It Straight 4:00 Switched 4:30 Hollyoaks 5:00 Friends 5:30 Friends: The One With Rachel's Going Away Party 6:00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 7:00 Hollyoaks 7:30 Switched 8:00 Friends: The One Where Estelle Dies 8:30 Friends: The One With Rachel's Going Away Party 9:00 Desperate Housewives: Sunday In The Park With George 10:00 Wife Swap 11:00 Lost: Deus Ex Machina 12:00 Point Pleasant: Waking The Dead 12:55 Desperate Housewives: Sunday In The Park With George 1:45 Wife Swap 2:45 Point Pleasant: Waking The Dead 3:25 Playing It Straight 4:25 Switched 4:45 Switched 5:10 Switched 5:30 Switched

06.00 Titch 06.10 Old Bear Stories 06.20 Rolie Polie Olie 06.50 Hi-5 07.25 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his Best Friend Corky 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Fifi and the Flowertots 08.20 Peppa Pig 08.30 Roobarb and Custard Too 08.40 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 09.00 Softies 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.15 MechaNick 09.25 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 five news 12.00 Home and Away 12.30 BrainTeaser 13.30 Film: "Mary Higgins Clark: While My Pretty One Sleeps" 15.25 five news update 15.30 Film: "Perry Mason: The Case of the Killer Kiss" 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.15 Deep Blue: Dolphin Acrobats 20.00 The Hurricane That Drowned New Orleans Because of course no one has heard this story before. 21.00 Murder Prevention 23.00 Zero Hour: Terror at Tokyo 24.00 The Gadget Show 24.45 Ultimate Strong Man Dedicated to my chum Snowy who was not a happy bunny because he wasn’t featured in the paper for his snowboarding attempts 01.35 ITU Triathlon World Cup 02.25 Golf 03.15 Boxing: Fight of the Week Classic 04.05 Motor Racing: The Grand American Series 04.55 Race and Rally UK 05.20 Argentinian Football Highlights And a few weeks after the ‘p’ party (see BBC 3) I’m going to a party for which we have to dress up as a member of the army with t-shirts that have our special army names on. Guess what mine is? Yup, GI Jane.

PRIMETIME

Channel 4 11.05pm

PRIMETIME

Sex Addict

E4 2pm

P R I M E T I M E

029 20229977

Superman: The Early Years

PRIMETIME

BUY ANY LARGE PIZZA AT REGULAR PRICE & GET A 2nd for SMALL £2 MEDIUM £3 LARGE £4 – DELIVERED!

06:10 The Hoobs: Hoobyclues 06:35 The Hoobs: Ouch 07:00 B4:25 Friends: The One With Chandler In A Box 07:55 Just Shoot Me 08:25 Will And Grace 08:50 Will And Grace 09:15 Miss Match: Pilot 10:10 Miss Match: Who's Your Daddy? 11:05 Er: Call Me Ruby 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Planed Plant Bach 12:30 Ribidirês 12:45 Sam Tân 13:00 Bws Parti 13:15 3 Minute Wonder: Geordie (actually you’ll be lucky to get three minutes) 13:20 Preachers To Be 14:25 Deal Or No Deal 15:15 Countdown 16:00 Planed Plant 16:00 Campyfan 16:23 Calendr Adfent 16:25 Ofn! 16:50 Ffeil 17:00 Richard & Judy 18:00 The Simpsons 18:30 Rownd A Rownd 19:00 Wedi 719:30 Newyddion 20:00 Pobol Y Cwm 20:25 Ffermio 21:00 Cefn Gwlad 21:30 Sgorio 22:35 Married To The Prime Minister.23:35 Not Forgotten: Women 00:35 Hollyoaks: No Going Back 01:00 The Turner Prize 2005 01:55 Film: Bats (1999)03:25 Ed: The Movie 04:10 Ed: The Decision 04:55 Diwedd/Close


November 28 - December 4 2005

Thursday

Page 27

bestpicturesever@tvdesk.com

ITV2 9pm

ITV1 2.30pm

C4 11.20pm

C4 9pm

6:00am: Breakfast 9:15 Animal Park 10:00 Homes under the Hammer 11:00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45 Bargain Hunt 12:15pm: Cash in the Attic 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News and Weather 1:40 Neighbours 2:05 Doctors 2:35 Murder, She Wrote 3:20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25 CBBC: Bodger and Badger 3:40 Mona the Vampire 4:05 Jackie Chan Adventures 4:30 SMart 5:00 Dance Factory 5:25 Newsround 5:35 Neighbours OMG!! (If you didn’t already know, this is how really hip people say OH MY GOD!) Trouble is brewing in Ramsay Street. The wonder of msn allows me to converse with all sorts of riffraff, including, from time to time, my good friend Big Gay Joe, who is big and gay and lives in Australia. Even though we’re all “overtly heterosexual” (yes, even TV Gareth) we love gays at TV Desk. So much so that our next planned outing (excuse the pun) will be to one of Cardiff’s gay establishments. I can hardly wait… Anyway, I digress... 6:00 BBC News and Weather 6:30 Regional News Programmes 7:00 Big Red Bus 7:30 EastEnders 8:00 Bleak House 8:30 The Queen's Cavalry 9:00 Little Britain 9:30 The Worst Week of My Life 10:00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35 Question Time 11:35 This Week 12:25am: Sign Zone: Panorama 1:05 Sign Zone: Strutting Our Stuff 1:35 Sign Zone: Hotel on Sea 2:05 Sign Zone: Road Rage School 2:35 Sign Zone: Mind Your Own Business 3:05 Joins BBC News

6:00am: Breakfast 9:15 Animal Park 10:00 Homes under the Hammer 11:00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45 Bargain Hunt 12:15pm: Cash in the Attic 1:00 BBC News; Weather 1:30 Regional News and Weather 1:40 Neighbours 2:05 Doctors 2:35 Murder, She Wrote 3:20 BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25 CBBC: Bodger and Badger 3:40 Mona the Vampire 4:05 Jackie Chan Adventures 4:30 SMart 5:00 Dance Factory 5:25 Newsround 5:35 Neighbours 6:00 BBC News and Weather 6:30 Regional News Programmes 7:00 Big Red Bus 7:30 EastEnders 8:00 Bleak House 8:30 The Queen's Cavalry 9:00 Little Britain 9:30 The Worst Week of My Life 10:00 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35 Question Time 11:35 This Week 12:25am: Sign Zone: Panorama 1:05 Sign Zone: Strutting Our Stuff 1:35 Sign Zone: Hotel on Sea 2:05 Sign Zone: Road Rage School 2:35 Sign Zone: Mind Your Own Business 3:05 Joins BBC News 24 I couldn’t possibly tell you that they all get stranded somewhere, but eventually get saved, apart from two young male characters who go on the run from the police in Tasmania because one of them stole a load of money and one of them robbed a petrol station. Phew! I’m so good at keeping a secret! It is twenty-past the hour of two (lies, it’s 12pm - Geordie) in the morning and I’m so excited that I may just burst. If I did, there would be raisins everywhere as I’ve consumed a lot of them tonight.

6.00 GMTV 6.00 GMTV News Hour 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning. 12.00 This Morning - I'm a Celebrity Special. 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather. 1.30 Today with Des and Mel. 2.30 Steal That Style. 3.30 Pocoyo. Sleepy Bird's Surprise 3.35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series. Car Trouble 3.50 The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers. 4.00 All Grown Up! Rachel, Rachel 4.30 The Giblet Boys. Diamonds Are For Never 5.00 The Paul O'Grady Show. 6.00 Wales Tonight. 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale. 8.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! 9.00 Doc Martin. 10.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! 10.30 ITV News. 11.00 The Welsh Weekend. Open All Hours 11.30 Soccer Night. 0.00 Welsh Political Awards. 0.30 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live. 2.00 Shoot the Writers! 2.25 Motorsport UK. 3.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show. My Partner's Not the Dad! Is My Ex? DNA Results 4.00 ITV at the Movies. 4.25 Cybernet. 4.50 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Early Morning News. However, this will be an entirely Neighboursthemed page, because you just don’t get soaps like that over here. No tropical plane crashes or bikini shops in Eastenders, just some poodle-faced matriarch who runs a pub which probably smells like wet dog...

5:50 Grabbit The Rabbit 6:00 Inuk: Meteor Lake 6:10 The Hoobs: Surprises 6:35 The Hoobs: Ba Boom 7:00 B4 7:30 Friends: The One With The Dirty Girl 8:00 Just Shoot Me: When Nina Met Elliott 8:25 Will & Grace: Between A Rock And A Harlin's Place 8:55 Frasier: To Kill A Talking Bird 9:25 3 Minute Wonder: Bully 4 U: Bullied 9:30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 9:55 Young Black Farmers 10:45 How Sport Shook Up The World: Identity Crisis 11:10 School Of Hard Knocks: K al Abdul 11:35 Live Now, Pay Later: Teen High Flyer 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Ed: The Offer 1:20 House Auction 1:50 Titanic 3:30 Countdown 4:15 Deal Or No Deal 5:00 Richard & Judy 6:00 The Simpsons 6:30 Hollyoaks 7:00 Channel 4 News 7:55 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2005 8:00 Gordon Ramsay's F Word 9:00 I'm Going To Tell You A Secret 11:20 Death By Sex 12:25 The War Zone 2:15 Preachers To Be 3:15 3 Minute Wonder: Shopping For Religion 3:20 Priest Idol 4:20 3 Minute Wonder: Shopping For Religion 4:25 3 Minute Wonder: Shopping For Religion 4:30 Second Time Around: A Kiss Is Still A Kiss 4:50 Second Time Around: Sins Of Paula's Father 5:15 Countdown 6:00 Close ...a load of wide boys, a launderette, a mangey old dog and an uncle who rapes his niece, who gets pregnant and pretends that she is the sister, not the mother of the child who eventually finds out, gets severely fucked-up and spends some time ‘on the game’. What a barrel of mirth...

06.00 Titch 06.10 Old Bear Stories 06.20 Rolie Polie Olie 06.50 Hi-5 07.25 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his Best Friend Corky 07.45 Make Way for Noddy 08.00 Fifi and the Flowertots 08.20 Peppa Pig 08.30 Roobarb and Custard Too 08.40 Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 09.00 Softies 09.05 Franny's Feet 09.15 MechaNick 09.25 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 five news 12.00 Home and Away 12.30 BrainTeaser 13.30 Film: "Jubilee Trail" 15.35 five news update 15.40 Film: "Running Against Time" 17.30 five news 18.00 Home and Away 18.30 Family Affairs 19.00 five news 19.15 The Real Jaws: Great Ocean Adventure 20.00 How Not to Decorate 21.00 Aircrash Investigations 22.00 House 23.00 Naked Celebrity 24.00 John Barnes' Football Night 24.45 Golazo Football Show 01.35 Dutch Football 03.05 Portuguese Football 04.35 Argentinian Football Highlights ...I’d rather be in Lassiter’s glugging some fine Aussie wine than sucking on a jellied eel in Ian Beale’s chip shop waiting for the rain to stop. On second thoughts… I’d actually rather be in Summer Bay because it’s by the sea (sexy surfers!) and I’d get a nice tan which would make a pleasant change from looking like a bleached-out piece of corned beef (the winter plays havoc with the complexion!) But I haven’t watched Home and Away since Sally was in pigtails, and Neighbours is just so much better. More Neighbours fun overleaf. Happy Advent Day. X

So I was talking to Joe and he only goes and reveals that Neighbours is going to get all Lost on our asses. I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you. But I will anyway. Someone is going to die. She may or or may not have curly hair and annoyingly short arms. Her parents may die too. If they do croak it, it’ll be because naughty Darcy plants a bomb in a plane which is taking them all to Tasmania for Paul Robinson’s 1940s-themed casino party. 19.00 7 o'Clock News on BBC Three 19.30 Trauma 20.00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 21.00 Who Rules the Roost? 22.00 EastEnders 22.30 Desperate Midwives 23.00 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 23.30 Trauma Uncut 24.00 Trauma Uncut 24.30 Who Rules the Roost? 01.25 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 02.25 Desperate Midwives 02.55 Trauma Uncut 03.25 Trauma Uncut

I also ate one of those new Crunchies, which was a bit of a let down. Bring back Willy Wonka’s exploding chocolate I tell you! It was delish. Enough of this nonsence, I’ve had too many E-numbers for one evening which has resulted in a wanton display of non-essay writing and Neighbours-mongering. For that I do apologise. 19.00 Cousin The Derbyshire word for “Husband”. 19.05 The Avengers 19.55 Advent 2005 20.00 The World 20.30 Mind Games 21.00 Battle of Midway: Days That Shook the World 22.00 Nation on Film: VE Day Special 22.30 The Late Edition 23.00 Don't Watch That Watch This! 23.30 QI 24.00 Battle of Midway: Days That Shook the World 01.00 The Late Edition 01.30 Don't Watch That Watch This! 02.00 Mind Games 02.30 Battle of Midway: Days That Shook the World

6.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live. 7.00 GMTV2. 8.35 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live. 10.25 Sally Jessy Raphael. 11.10 Judge Judy. 12.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. 1.30 Airline. 2.00 Coronation Street. 2.30 Emmerdale. 3.00 The Ricki Lake Show. 3.50 Trisha 4.55 Sally Jessy Raphael. 5.45 Movies Now. 6.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Jungle Drums. 7.00 3rd Rock from the Sun. Sally Forth 7.30 Spin City. Science Friction 8.00 Tradesmen from Hell. 9.00 Britain's Youngest Boozers. 10.30 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here Now! 11.30 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live. 0.30 3rd Rock from the Sun. Sally Forth 1.00 Spin City. Science Friction 1.20 Sally Jessy Raphael.2.00 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Live. Harold or Lou? Which one would you do first?

6:00 Morning Glory 7:00 Morning Glory 8:00 Wake Up With...Simon Webbe 9:00 Freshly Squeezed Tunes 10:00 Whatever... You Want 11:00 Whatever... You Want 12:00 On This Day 1:00 Hijacked By... Jimmy Carr 2:00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years: Lucy 3:00 Young, Sexy And...Spoiled 4:00 Switched 4:30 Hollyoaks 5:00 Friends: The Last One 6:00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years: Lucy 7:00 Hollyoaks 7:30 Switched 8:00 Friends: The Last One 9:00 One Tree Hill: Lifetime Piling Up 10:00 The Simple Life: Interns 10:30 Tommy Lee Goes To College 11:00 Bamboozle: The Secret Tv Game Show 11:40 Criss Angel Mindfreak 12:10 One Tree Hill: Lifetime Piling Up 1:05 The Simple Life: Interns 1:35 Tommy Lee Goes To College 2:05 Bamboozle: The Secret Tv Game Show 2:40 Criss Angel Mindfreak 3:00 Young, Sexy And...Spoiled 3:45 Switched 4:05 Switched 4:30 Switched 4:50 Fool Around... With Nadia I’d go for Lou. No specific reason, I just would.

06:10 The Hoobs 06:35 The Hoobs 7.00 B4 07:25 Friends: The One Where They Are Going To Party! 07:55 Just Shoot Me: Jack Vents 08:20 Will And Grace 08:50 Will And Grace 09:15 Miss Match: Something Nervy 10:10 Miss Match: Kate In Ex-Tasy 11:05 Er: You Are Here 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Planed Plant Bach 12:30 Ribidirês 12:50 Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 13:00 Triongl 13:15 3 Minute Wonder: Self Portraits 13:20 River Cottage Road Trip 14:25 Deal Or No Deal 15:15 Countdown 16:00 Planed Plant 16:00 O Na! Y Morgans 16:23 Calendr Adfent 16:25 Top Yr Ysgol 16:50 Ffeil 17:00 Richard & Judy 18:00 The Simpsons: Homie The Clown 18:30 Darn O Dir 19:00 Wedi 7 19:30 Newyddion 20:00 Pobol Y Cwm 20:25 Y Byd Ar Bedwar Penawdau Newyddion I Ddilyn / News Headlines Follow. 21:00 Gwynfor: Yr Aelod Dros Gymru? 22:05 Talcen Caled 23:00 Grand Designs: Clapham 00:00 WifeSwap 01:00 Hollyoaks: No Going Back 01:25 Without A Trace: Lone


Friday BUY ANY LARGE PIZZA AT REGULAR PRICE & GET A 2nd for SMALL £2 MEDIUM £3 LARGE £4 – DELIVERED!

The Future Is Wild

Classic Blast

What do you mean chocolate isn’t a nutritious and delicious breakfast?

Adopt Me -I’m A Teenager

Improper Conduct

I Married My Daughter's Boyfriend

STUDENT SAVER ANY PIZZA ANY SIZE ONLY £9.89 DELIVERED! 029 20229977

Would you accept a lift from that dodgy guy in the Beemer? Would you take sweets from the man who lurks around the school gates dressed in a yellow raincoat? If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, then a career in television journalism could be just the thing for you. For your FREE, yes that’s right, FREE information pack without obligation, simply call 0800-T-V-D-E-SK. (Calls cost £8.50 per min p/r

£8.00 Per min o/p)

I told my housemate that Axl Rose was from Cardiff and that he wrote Paradise City about Bristol. She believed me, although this is the same girl who thought that Jesus was an ex-president of the United States. She’s brilliant.

PRIMETIME

PRIMETIME

P R I M E T I M E

For some reason, I haven’t quite been able to curb the klepto tendencies that I thought were long gone. All that electric shock therapy obviously didn’t work, because I’ve just looked in my handbag and spotted a stapler which says “property of Bute reception”.Ooops! I have the same problem with stealing the number tags that you get in changing rooms. To be fair, I’ve not set fire to any more puppies since the frontal lobotomy, so they got something right.

P

R

I

M

E

T

I

M

PRIMETIME

E

029 20229977

Oh please let me watch this, let me, let me!

Unless you have a doctor's note, its illegal to buy ice cream after 6 p.m. This is TV Jane’s self-styled alter-ego. Avoid dark alleys at the weekend.

Right, back to my Neighbours theme: I could devote an entire page to the acting talents of Harold Bishop’s chin (how it wobbles so delightfully when he gets angry) or the effortless bastion of ...

Manly poise that is Dr Karl Kennedy. When will someone tell him that Susan is actually a lesbian? I don’t blame him for copping off with that annoying bint who wore too much lip-liner and had a little white dog, if, as we have been led to believe, Susan hasn’t actually “put out” since ... ..1980’s. You can’t always avoid marital relations by “having a headache” if your husband happens to be a doctor, and (apart from the time when he was an alcoholic) a darn fine one at...

I like Massive Attack. So do the rest of my family actually. Here’s a little story for you. My brother once stopped talking to me for a week because I scratched his heat sensitive singles boxset. It was so much fun to play with though. Remember those global hypercolour T-shirts? Well it was like one of those, but full of good tunes. The end.

that. Don’t even get me started on Izzy. Karl and Suze would’ve still been together if she hadn’t have come along, even though Susan is a frigid lezzer. After all this marriage-wrecking and sleeping with the ememy (literally), Izzy...

Anyways, fear not boys. Izzy isn’t due to die any time soon, so you’ll still need those man-sized Kleenex close to hand on those lonely weekday teatimes. In a surprising career move for a soap star, she has joined a band called Rogue Traders, who I’m told are currently MASSIVE in Oz As I had predicted, they are nothing to do with the film...>

...is my second most-hated character (after Serena) and it’s a darn shame the bomb didn’t get her too like it was supposed to. Did I forget to mention that?

dramatisation of the life of Barings Bank fraudster Nick Leeson. Pity. They comprise of Izzy and three rather ugly men dressed in black who wouldn’t look out of place in The Queen Vic. One of them is fat and looks like a kebab seller. Izzy (Natalie Bassingthwaite) likes to wear those necklaces made out of big letters. In their latest video she sports the word “rogue” across her neck. She also wears a union jack dress. What a fashion no-no. Didn’t anyone learn from Geri Halliwell that you should never wear a flag or a tea-towel as clothing?


Saturday

November 28 - December 4 2005

Page 29

brother@incestcanbegood.usedandabused.org

P R I M E T I M E

6:00am: Breakfast 9:00 Weekend 24 10:00 Saturday Kitchen 11:30 Rachel's Favourite Food 12:00pm: See Hear 12:45 Film 2005 with Jonathan Ross 1:15 The Perfect Holiday 1:45 FILM: Sherlock Holmes and the Scarlet Claw 2:55 The Rockford Files The No-Cut Contract 3:45 Monk If I remember rightly, this is the program where the main character is this quiet freaky detective who has an obsession with cleanliness. All I can remember is the bit in the opening theme tune bit where he flosses his teeth meticulously. Good tune though, dum dum de dum....4:30 Seniors Tennis: The Masters 5:00 Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em 5:30 Flog It! 6:30 What the Papers Say 6:40 Backlash 7:20 How to be Tory Leader First of all, lose most of the hair on your head, wear glasses, have a really monotonous dull voice and talk a lot of poo and boring talk. 8:20 Auschwitz: The Nazis and The 'Final Solution' 9:10 Bodies 10:10 Family Guy 10:30 American Dad 10:55 Ideal 11:25 Ideal 11:55 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 12:25am: Amateur Boxing: ABA Finals 2:00 BBC Learning Zone: Schools: Blast Beyond 4:00 Stopping Distance I’m really feeling quite stressed right now as I wrote a whole page of TV listings then the pooter went crazy tits-up bonkers and the page disappeared and we couldn’t find it so I had to write it all out again. Woe is me, poor me, everybody pity me. It’s stopped snowing now I think, didn’t last long. Grrrrr...............

PRIMETIME

6:00am: CBeebies: Tikkabilla 6:35 Pingu 6:40 Pingu 6:45 Pingu 6:50 Brum. Brum and the Stopwatch Botch 7:00 CBBC: Tom and Jerry Kids 7:25 Arthur 7:50 Taz-Mania 8:10 Legend of the Dragon 8:35 The Scooby and Scrappy Show 9:00 Dick and Dom in da Bungalow 11:00 Top of the Pops Reloaded with added rubbish and added cheese and crap and shitty girlbands that sound like everything else.11:45 Sportsround 12:00pm: BBC News; Weather 12:10 Football Focus 1:00 Grandstand 1:05 Seniors Tennis: The Masters 2:20 Around the Grounds 2:25 Rugby Union: Anglo-Welsh Cup Leicester v Northampton 3:20 Football Latest 3:25 Rugby Union: Anglo-Welsh Cup Leicester v Northampton 4:30 Final Score being: BBC 1 shows sport all freaking day on a Saturday. Yuck. Boring. 5:15 BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5:35 Weakest Link 6:25 Strictly Come Dancing 7:40 The National Lottery: Millionaire Manor 8:20 Casualty 9:10 Strictly Come Dancing 9:40 Carrie and Barry 10:10 BBC News; Weather 10:30 Match of the Day 12:10am: FILM: Prime Cut Horror including violent scenes of massacres involving joints of good quality meat. 1:40 Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 2:40 Joins BBC News 24 Well, it’s just started snowing outside the window of the gair rhydd office and of course, just like at Primary School, everyone has to run out and make sure it’s real. And then there’s always the one who doesn’t realise until about 10 minutes after everyone else.......TV Grace....Bless.

19.00 Three's Outtakes 19.10 The Week the Women Went: the Children 20.10 The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 21.10 FILM: "Unfaithful" 23.10 Man Stroke Woman 23.40 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 24.10 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 24.40 The Comic Side of 7 Days 01.10 The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody 02.05 Would You Buy a House with a Stranger? 03.05 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 03.35 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 04.05 Close Here are some facts for you: Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots. Ralph Lauren’s real name is Ralph Liftschitz. Apparently there was no punctuation until the 15th century. TV John’s real name is Viscount the third, OysterLoster. It is against the law to swear in front of a cinema usher. 11.30 The Frank Skinner Show.

19.00 Advent 2005 19.05 Here's A Piano I Prepared Earlier: Experimental Music in the 1960s 19.55 French Exchange 20.55 Advent 2005 21.00 The Cinema Show Stuart Maconie presents the film magazine. 21.30 FILM: "The Crime of Father Amaro" 23.25 Don't Watch That Watch This! 23.55 Shakespeare's Happy Endings 24.55 Mario Lanza: Singing to the Gods 01.55 French Exchange 02.55 Shakespeare's Happy Endings 03.55 Close You’ll have to go for counselling if you dare to venture into the pikey quagmire on a Saturday, but you can’t beat a bit of Primark to temporarily banish those voices in your head which constantly scream “SPEND YOUR LOAN SPEND YOUR LOAN” Granted, it’ll probably be a gold satin skirt in a size 18 which you’ve bought “because it was cheap and you might make it into a bag/a cushion/a throw (or get fat)” but who cares?

Casualty

100 Greatest Sexy Moments

BBC1 8.20pm

6:00 GMTV 6:00 Wakey! Wakey! 7:25 Toonattik 9:25 MOM 11:30 cd:uk 12:30 ITV News; Weather 12:35 ITV Wales News and Weather What is it with all these guys I keep seeing wandering around the streets in t-shirts? It’s winter for fuck’s sake! Put some clothes on! What would your mothers be saying? You’ll catch your deaths! 12:40 ITV at the Movies 1:10 FILM: Holiday in the Sun 2:45 Inspector Morse The Secret of Bay 5b 4:45 ITV Wales News and Weather 5:00 ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:15 FILM: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 8:00 The X Factor 9:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! 10:30 The X Factor Results 11:00 ITV News Did you know that in Guantánamo if you run over an Iguana you can be fined up to $10,000, but if you hit one of the 500 prisoners of the bay it is classed as ‘mild noninjurious contact’ and there are no consequences. That’s not very nice is it? 11:15 It Shouldn't Happen to a TV Actor 0:20 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 3:00 cd:uk 3:50 Entertainment Now! 4:20 Cybernet 4:45 ITV Nightscreen 5:30 ITV Early Morning News I just elbowed TV Gareth in the balls. He said I didn’t hurt him though. He must be wearing his codpiece again. TV Desk effeciency has been at an all time high this week. It’s only bloody half 10 and we’re all but a few words away from a hot cup of cocoa and a pair of paisley pyjamas. TV John has drunk a bottle of red wine and suggested that IMG stands for “International Muttball Geeg”. I’m off to bed. Keep it real kids, TV Grace. xxx

6:00 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live 9:25 Emmerdale Omnibus 12:40 Coronation Street Omnibus 3:00 Date My Daughter 3:45 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 4:45 Planet's Funniest Animals 5:15 American Music Awards 2005 6:50 The Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 7:50 Neighbours from Hell 8:50 Neighbourhoods from Hell 9:55 Honeymoons from Hell 11:00 The Xtra Factor 11:30 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now! 0:20 The X Factor 1:25 The X Factor Results 1:55 Emmerdale Omnibus 4:35 I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Live Isn’t that what these kind of shops are all about? Since when did anyone go to Ikea and buy just one thing? I’m a Celebrity, eh? I wonder how hard it’d be to be the unloved daughter of one of the most famous female politicians of all time? It’s enough to make you piss all over the floor in front of millions of people. I saw some fucked woman at V festival wee standing up in front of a large (horrified) audi-

E4 9pm

6:05 Making It: Chorinho Lives To Play Cavaquinho 6:10 The Hoobs: Sheep 6:35 The Hoobs: Tula's Choice 7:00 French Football: Le Championnat 7:30 4endurance: Cisco Euro Challenge 8:00 The Morning Line 8:55 T4 T4: Futurama: Spanish Fry 9:25 T4: T4 Icon: Gwen Stefani 10:00 T4: Friends: The One With Ross's Teeth 10:30 T4: Popworld 11:25 T4: Friends: The One Where Ross Got High 11:55 T4: The Simple Life: Interns 12:25 T4: The Simpsons 12:55 T4: Totally Frank 1:30 T4: Friends 2:00 Channel 4 Racing From Sandown Park And Wetherby 4:15 Deal Or No Deal 5:00 Gordon Ramsay's F Word furry, fluffy, faffy, funky, frilly, floaty, flowery, flouncy, fruity, freshly, you know what I still don’t think I’ve guessed it yet. 6:00 Unreported World: Gaza: The Bullet And The Ballot Box 6:30 Channel 4 News 7:00 Preachers To Be Ozzy Osborne, Marilyn Manson, Macaullay Culkin, Keanu Reeves, Madonna, Robert Zimmerman. 8:00 Britain's Boy Soldiers 9:00 The Comedians' Comedian 12:05 4music: Dubplate 12:20 4music: Kaiser Chiefs Live At The Fillmore 1:20 4music: Arcade Fire: Live In Concert 2:00 4music: 4play: Ozzy Osbourne 2:10 4music: 4play: Lemar 2:20 4music: Hit40uk 2:50 Copa Sud ericana 3:40 Priest Idol 4:40 Second Time Around: You're Fired! 5:00 Second Time Around: The Dinner Party 5:25 Countdown 6:10 Close the car boot properly after you’ve just filled it with your shopping, otherwise it’ll fall out as you drive. And guaranteed it’ll be the booze that you loose. Gutted.

6:00 Morning Glory 7:00 Morning Glory 8:00 The All Star Wake Up Call 9:00 The All Star Wake Up Call 10:00 Whatever... You Want 11:00 Whatever... You Want 12:00 Roland And Zammo School Disco 1:00 Roland And Z mo School Disco 2:00 Hit40uk 2:35 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00 Friends: The One Without The Ski Trip 5:30 Friends: The One With The Hypnosis Tape 6:00 Brat Camp Usa 7:00 Wife Swap 8:00 Friends: The One Without The Ski Trip 8:30 Friends: The One With The Hypnosis Tape 9:00 100 Greatest Sexy Moments 1:10 Porn: A Family Business: Falling On Your Ass 1:45 Porn: A Family Business: Cocktoberfest 2:20 Wife Swap 3:25 Average Joe 4:15 Hit40uk 4:35 Brat Camp Usa 5:20 Switched Up! ence. Not a nice memory. And what about these “She-Pee” contraptions? Urinals for women? No! What happened to perpetuating the myth that women do NOT go to the toilet, burp or fart? Damn you Carol Thatcher, you big feminist. I’m a celebrity is a load of shit anyway.

06.00 Sunrise 06.55 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 07.25 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his Best Friend Corky 07.40 Make Way for Noddy otherwise he’ll hunt you down and come for you in the middle of the night when you’re tucked up in bed and draw a huge moustache on your face and put flour in your hair. 08.00 Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08.20 Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 08.35 Franklin 09.05 Gerald McBoing Boing 09.35 Don't Blame the Koalas Blame these new computers because thay are horrible and they hate me and they have been mean to me all night.10.00 Dragon Booster 10.30 Hercules: the Legendary Journeys 11.25 Home and Away Omnibus 13.30 F: "Chances Are" 15.35 Joey 16.05 Joey 16.35 FILM: "Vice Versa" 18.25 Charmed 19.10 Star Trek: Voyager 20.55 five news and sport 21.10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22.10 Law and Order: Criminal Intent 23.05 FILM: “Poodleface" 01.00 Law and Order: Criminal Intent 01.50 FILM: "Why Do Fools Fall in Love" because that’s what they are: fools! duh. 03.45 Russell Grant's Postcards 03.50 Sunset Beach 04.30 Sunset Beach 05.15 Trading Spouses It would seem that TV desk are having a conversation about birthdays and what is a good birth date to have. Apparently mine November 1) is good according to TV John, whereas TV Grace And TV John have bad birthdates and TV Gareth’s is OK. Isn’t that a useful bit of information for you?...TV Grace here-my birthday is just fine ta.

029 20229977

PRIMETIME

BBC1 12.10am

PRIMETIME

Prime Cut

BBC2 1.15pm

PRIME

The Perfect Holiday

BUY ANY LARGE PIZZA AT REGULAR PRICE & GET A 2nd for SMALL £2 MEDIUM £3 LARGE £4 – DELIVERED!

6:10 The Hoobs 06:35 The Hoobs 07:00 B4 07:25 Friends 07:55 Just Shoot Me 08:25 Will And Grace: The Big Vent 08:50 Will And Grace: Will On Ice 09:15 Miss Match 10:10 Miss Match: Addicted To Love 11:05 Er: Carter Est Amoureux 12:00 News At Noon 12:30 Planed Plant Bach 12:30 Ribidirês 12:45 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 13:00 Tecwyn Y Tractor 13:15 House Auction 13:45 Deal Or No Deal 14:30 Deal Or No Deal 15:15 Countdown 16:00 Planed Plant 16:00 Martin Mellten 16:23 Calendr Adfent 16:25 Hip Neu Sgip? 16:50 Ffeil 17:00 Richard & Judy 18:00 The Simpsons: Bart Vs. Australia 18:30 Rownd A Rownd 19:00 Wedi 7 19:30 Newyddion 20:00 Pobol Y Cwm 20:25 Cwpwrdd Dillad 21:00 04 Wal 21:30 Sioe Gelf 22:00 Space Cadets 23:00 Lost: Deus Ex Machina 00:00 Death By Sex 00:55 Hollyoaks: No Going Back 01:20 Is This The Real Life?: The Queen Story 02:15 Bollywood Sirens: Jism 04:40 Ed: New Car Smell 05:25 Diwedd/Close

STUDENT SAVER ANY PIZZA ANY SIZE ONLY £9.89 DELIVERED! 029 20229977


Sunday

R P

E M I T E M I

R P

P

P

Where earlier emo had featured lyrics of a more dark and painful direction, Carrabba's featured a greater focus on love won and lost and the inability to cope. While certainly emotional, the new ‘emo’ had a far greater appeal amongst teenagers experiencing love for the first time, who found insight and solace in Carrabba's words and music. With Dashboard and Jimmy Eat World's success, major labels began seeking out similar sounding bands. Whereas Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and the other Seattle scene bands of the early 1990s were unwillingly lumped into the genre ‘grunge’, the labels wanted to be able to market a new

R

E M I T E

I

I

band had almost completely removed its emo influences. As the public had become aware of the word ‘emo’ and knew that Jimmy Eat World was associated with it, the band continued to be referred to as an ‘emo’ band. Newer bands that sounded like Jimmy Eat World (and, in some cases, like the more melodic emo bands of the late 90s) were soon included in the genre. 2003 saw the success of Chris Carrabba and Dashboard Confessional. Carrabba's music featured lyrics founded in deep diarylike outpourings of emotion.

M

E M I T E M

E M I T E M I

many bands still subscribe to the Fugazi / Hüsker Dü model, including Thursday, The Juliana Theory, and Sparta. The Third Wave (2000-Present) At the end of the 1990s, the underground emo scene had almost entirely disappeared. However, the term ‘emo’ was still being bandied about in mainstream media, almost always attached to the few remaining 90s emo acts, including Jimmy Eat World. However, towards the end of the 1990s, Jimmy Eat World had begun to shift in a more mainstream direction. Where Jimmy Eat World had played emocore-style music early in their career, by the time of the release of their 2001 album Bleed American, the

R

By the end of the decade, the word ‘emo’ cropped up in mainstream circles. In the summer of 1998, Teen People magazine ran an article declaring ‘emo’ the newest ‘hip’ style of music, with The Promise Ring a band worth watching. The independent nature of the emo scene recoiled at mainstream attention, and many emo bands shifted their sound in an attempt to isolate themselves from the genre. In the years that followed, Sunny Day Real Estate opted to shift to a more prog-rock direction, Jejune aimed for happy poprock, and The Get Up Kids and The Promise Ring released lite-rock albums. While ‘indie emo’ almost completely ceased to exist by the end of the decade

P

R

I

M

E

T

I

M

E

Music and worship

The Used, A Static Lullaby, From First To Last, Finch, Silverstein, From Autumn To Ashes, Hawthorne Heights, and My Chemical Romance. In many cases, ‘new emo’ bands are simply trying to pursue their own version of the ‘emo’ that came before on their own terms. However, the backlash stemming from the success of a few seemingly ‘less emo’ (and more popular in the mainstream) bands, including Dashboard and The Used, has

brought an increasingly substantial pool of detractors. In a strange twist, screamo, a sub-genre of the new emo, has found greater popularity in recent years through bands such as Thrice and Glassjaw. The term ‘screamo’, however, was used to describe an entirely different genre in the early 1990s, and the bands themselves more resemble the emocore of the early 1990s. (As a reference, see Jim DeRogatis' November 2002 article about Screamo.) As a result of the continuing shift of ‘emo’ over the years, a serious schism has emerged between those who ascribe to particular eras of ‘emo’. Those who were closely attached to the

hardcore origins recoil when another type of music is called ‘emo’. Many involved in the independent nature of both 80s and 90s emo are upset at the perceived hijacking of the word ‘emo’ to sell a new generation of major label music. Regardless, popular culture has embraced the terms of ‘emo’ far beyond its original intentions, out of the control of the independent-minded....TBC...

sound under the word ‘emo’. Which sound that was didn't particularly matter. In turn, the term ‘emo’ shifted to describe a form of music significantly different from its forebearers. And, in an even more expanded way than in the 90s, the term came to encompass an extremely wide variety of bands, many of whom had very little in common. Today, ‘emo’ is often used to describe such wide-ranging bands as Funeral for a Friend, Taking Back Sunday, Coheed and Cambria, The Starting Line, Brand New, Something Corporate


November 28 2005

Page 31 ruiningyourlectures@gairrhydd.com

Balladeering in a silly voice SU DOKU:

The Big Quiz THIS WEEK: there’s a question about Ariel Sharon, get that.

1. Who topped the NME cool list? Apparently because he doesn’t care about being cool, which, I suppose, would explain why he showed up to the photo shoot. A: B: C: D:

Alex Turner - Artic Monkeys Pete Doherty - Babyshambles Kanye West - he’s not in a band Antony Hegarty - Antony and the Johnsons

2.

Who was the lead singer of Duran Duran before Simon Le Bon joined?

A: Elvis Costello B: Stephen Duffy C: Gary Glitter - you picked the wrong country

awful easy listening? Same old rubbish reasons - it’s background music, which can be basically ignored, calmly hummed along to while getting on with whatever it is people who don’t really listen to music get along with when they’ve got music on - long baths with candles? But, Antony fans, as opposed to Keane fans, cunningly, in line with said art media's conspiracy (I’d suggest perpetuated by audience demands and old-fart journalists), get to pretend they’re not doing that and it’s all very important and passionate and why life’s great, and, by implication, why they’re great - nothing like a self-reimagining to make someone feel good about themselves: “I like something you don’t even know about!” If you like Antony and the Johnsons and not Keane you’re kidding yourself and being inconsistent; same with Jeff Buckley and Starsailor, Nickelback and Nirvana (just kidding, almost) Colm Loughlin

there. Firing squad!? Oh well D: Van ‘the man’ Morrison 3. Ariel Sharon just quit Likud, the hardline party he helped found in an effort to capture the centre ground. When was Likud established? A: B: C: D:

1971 1972 1973 1974

4. What has research carried out by Young and Rubicam shown to be Labour supporters’ three favourite brands (excluding the party)? A: B: C: D:

Lloyds TSB, Gillette and Timberland Switch, Sainsbury’s and Visa Vauxhall, Enigizer and Ski Nurofen, Munch Bunch and Muller t Corner

HALL OF SHAME T

hanks for your pictures, they’re the bestest, as always people seem willing to do silly things to themselves for no good reason, maybe these are cries for help...

“Say hello to my leetle freend... no, no that”

Forget Action Man, in the 21st century we need Micheal [sic] - hedge sentinel

And who says maths sudents aren’t cool?

6

3 1

4

4

5

7

4

9 7

Mind your Manners

6 1 4

6 9

8

9

2 2

6

3 3

8

1 2

1

5

5

2

HOW TO PLAY SU DOKU:

Fill in the grid using only the numbers 1 through 9. All the vertical and horizontal rows should contain the numbers 1-9. All the smaller 3x3 squares should contain the numbers 1-9. No row or 3x3 square should have the same number twice.

CROSSWORD: 2

3

4

5

6

7

8 9

10 11 12

13

14

16 19

15

17 20

18

21

22

24

23

25

26

27

28

30

34

Dil-don’t

9

8

29 31

32

Text: 07791

165 837

7

1

answers:

?

can one man sound?” Actually, Antony and the Johnsons that’s his band, do you suppose Johnsons is a euphemism? And if so how dare he exclude himself with an ‘and’: the cock - sound like Keane if the singer was ridiculous. It’s all there, awful clunking piano, slow tempos, ‘tasteful’ arrangements and additional instruments, the feeling that life’s futile, the realisation that it’s possible for something to plod along so delicately, slowly and inoffensively that it’s actually really very offensive. But Keane are heavily derided (rightly), Antony and the Johnsons not so much, in fact they’re taken very seriously and earnestly frowned upon by ‘proper’ music fans and given the Mercury Music Prize etc. Why? It’s snobbish self-deception; where it’s okay to like awful easy listening so as no one calls it that and it’s not overly popular and it’s got an alt’ edge - in this instance a big fat transvestite on vocals. Why do these people want to like

1.A, 2.B, 3.C, 4.A

P

eople are always saying “needless to say” and then saying something. That’s stupid and deceitful and patronising and therefore annoying. Really annoying. But not as annoying as the worthy art media’s - you know, things with ‘review’ in their title obsession with Antony Hegarty: he’s everywhere. Most recently I saw him on the cover of the Guardian Guide - with the headline: “Vocal Supporter: Antony Hegarty on the singers who inspired him.” He is, you see, being much celebrated for his stupid voice, apparently one of the most “singular” around thank fuck for that. It’s a horrible gurgle, like a distressed animal, or like he’s got his jaw wired shut and is wailing on regardless, or he learned to talk later in life, or he just woke from a coma, or, and this’d be good, he’s doing it for a joke, his voice being the punchline to the set-up: “How stupid

33

35

Across

Down

1 Occupying less than a full working week (4-4) 5 Without delay 9 Largest species of penguin 10 Gather together 11 Male domestic cat 12 Beseech 15 Device for measuring out spirits from a bottle 17 Sets 19 Origin 22 Merited 24 Paradisal garden 26 First Greek letter 27 Flower’s pollen sac 30 Bread soaked in liquid 32 Merry jaunt 33 Accuse of a serious crime 34 Headland 35 In quarantine

1 Seaside jetty 2 Shred (3,2) 3 Crisp, brief 4 Evergreen shrub with dark purple berries 6 Rigorous 7 Last line of an address? 8 Indian pastry filled with vegetables or meat 13 Equal footing 14 Grew old 16 Hired killer 18 Gave temporarily 20 Aritrators 21 Stopped 23 Navy drink 25 Briefly sees 28 Horrify, dismay 29 Set on a pedestal 31 Clunk


‘Scopes & Jobs Helping the needy with Crystal Pants

This week you will find writing horoscopes very hard indeed. You will try to blind yourself to the irrelevance and pointlessness of them and of life; but force yourself to carry on both writing and living. The premise of snow drives you onwards. You realise this week that you were bullied at school because you a) ruin fun and b) really liked green waistcoats. On Weds. you will sit upon a stool and have a shock when you realise that the hole in your ‘special place’ has expanded dramatically over night and is now able to accommodate the whole stool. You will slide over it so rapidly that your buttocks will hit the floor. Bruised and ashamed you will sit certain that no positive consequences can arise from this genital expansion. Later that night you will find yourself at a dinner party with a shortage of chairs. You will be the guest of honour when you alleviate all their worries by producing the all important last chair from your lady-bits.

horrible foul-cocked old men; but fucking hell why are you Librans always such pessimists? You’d been looking for a job anyway, and this extra income will take you nicely under your overdraft, and meanwhile you can buy your mum an extra-special stocking filler, and have enough left over to buy your way out of eternal damnation and a life of shame. You really must learn to put things in perspective. On Tuesday the Chuckle brothers will accidentally scalp a championship poodle, whilst trying to get their dog washing business endeavour off the ground. They will race through your front door, carrying a stolen éclair, with the local baker hotly on their tales; followed by Lady Poodlington, and a boy whose braces got pinged in the commotion. You must sit and watch patiently, until Paul runs through your setting cement, at which point you take flight and chase them around Cardiff for three days.

Cast Member

Swydd/Job:

Teaching and coaching

Ardal/Area:

Cardiff Bay

Ardal/Area:

Australia, Thailand, N Zealand

Tal/Wage:

£5 per hour

Tal/Wage:

£5.50 - £15 per hour

Oriau/Hours:

Various shifts

Oriau/Hours:

Various

Parhad/Duration: Ongoing

Parhad/Duration: Ongoing

Manylion/Details: Large cinema chain needs staff

Manylion/Details: Recruitment company requires

for ushering, retail and box

students to work in Australia,

office work. Evenings and

New Zealand or Thailand.

weekends.

Various placements available, including teaching and sports coaching.

Rhif Cyf/Ref No:

032

Swydd/Job:

Data Entry Associate

Ardal/Area:

Cardiff

Tal/Wage:

£10 per hour

Oriau/Hours:

Full time

Rhif Cyf/Ref No:

057

Parhad/Duration: 20 days

Your twin will eat your ballet costume minutes before a crucial dance-off with a neighbouring village. Because of their insatiable appetite you miss your moment to shine, dance and conquer. You will vow to hate them forever. You will devour your twin’s ballet costume. Your death is imminent due to the indigestibility of tutus.

Everyone around you is jealous because you get so much extra reading done. Here is my advice: Rule 1: Do not ingest the ‘Cellular Telephone’ upon receiving an ‘incoming-call’ Rule 2 of mobile telecommuncational procedures: Do not drop the ‘Cellular Telephone’ into a bloody bugger of a sink, filled with ruddy water that prohibits ongoing use. I merely hope the advice hasn’t come too late.

You lie so often that you have managed to convince yourself that lying is the ‘new truth’. Until your mother (who believes you are a qualified heart surgeon) needs immediate open-heart surgery, during Sunday lunch. To save face you open her up with the electric carver, locate her heart and hold it for a while. You tell your family not to worry as you remove said heart and throw it against the wall, replacing it with parsnips.

On Weds. a Hyper-Value cracker will bestow a sticker and a joke upon you. The joke goes like this: ‘What falls, but never hurts itself?’... ‘SNOW’. What else? Well I would go as far as to say that pretty much anything else would surpass that. You will question who writes these things and make it your life’s work to find out and convince them to become a vegetarian, and then years later force them to eat a live rabbit until they’re sick in a bowl.

The man in the green coat is called Martin. He has a Mars bar wrapper in his pocket and refuses to throw it away. As we all know Mars wrappers are no waste paper. Martin will be shot on site for a distrust of bins… and wearing a small/pretty-big bomb. He had a passion for gnomes and destruction that he just wanted to share with you and the world. Your moons bind you together so this is the optimum time to put the planets wrapper to rest and finish what Martin started (recycling).

This freaky Friday you take a gentle stroll down to the lake, a storm brews. Lightning strikes at the exact moment you collide with a lady duck. Something freaky happens and your bodies exchange. In this momentary madness a group of frisky mallards waddle towards you with lasciviousness in their eyes. You are returned to your original form and make it your life’s work to campaign against the gang-rape of lady ducks, which are so quietly void of vanity. DOWN WITH MALE DUCKS.

This week you decide to hitch-hike your ravishingly good-looking self to stay with your miserable law-abiding, broken hearted brother. You will drop your towel all over the place, indiscriminately showing your bits to broom-bearing housewives, elderly Christians - everyone.

On Thursday, Daniel O’Donnell will force you to shit on the doorstep of the Bangladeshi government. They will be so offended by this disrespect that they wage war on our fair country. Daniel will assume the role of arms dealer, giving both sides the arms of old women from his fan club to battle with. Generally little harm will be done as they are all arthritic, and then…he sings.

This week sees you become a prostitute (or dream that you are). Sure you have to sell your young, agile body to

Swydd/Job:

Manylion/Details: Clinical research company requires someone to enter data into a database at Cardiff Hospital. Must have a keen attention to detail.

Rhif Cyf/Ref No:

056

Car Owner Drivers Required

!" !" !"


With the relatively easy availability of credit today, from increasing numbers of companies offering credit, and shops offering store-cards, to more people being approved for cards a greater number of us are getting in on the act, including students and those with shaky credit ratings. UK consumers are using credit

cards more than ever and now owe close to £180 billion as a result. The basic idea of a credit card is this: money spent on the card is repaid in full or part at the end of the month. If you don’t repay in full, you will incur an interest charge. The less you pay off, the more interest you are charged. As it’s levied at a much greater rate than bank loans it’s not advised to be used as a way of borrowing money on a long-term basis. There are mixed opinions about credit cards; this argument has been going on ever since Barclaycard launched the UK’s first credit card in 1967.

However, there could be hidden costs which will make the card less appealing than it seems. Also, this 0% deal won’t last forever, so make sure you choose a card that offers an interest rate that remains competitive after the ‘introductory’ 0% deal has ended. of charge and is a standard measurement for showing how competitive a loan is. Usually, the lower the APR, the better the deal (ie. the less interest you pay). They calculate the total amount of interest that will be paid over the whole term of the loan. If the charges included in the APR vary, your repayments can go up or down every month. Fixed-rate credit agreements have fixed-rate repayments (a set sum) and this might be better if you're on a tight budget. t you are allowed to spend on the card. The card issuer will decide on this limit based on the information you provide in your application form you have to pay for the use of credit or borrowed money, on top of the amount you spend initially. Banks vary these rates at their discretion, and rates can go up or down! which shows the interest rate as if it was paid and compounded on a yearly basis. which you may not be aware of as these are in the small print. For example, balance transfers using credit card cheques may be treated as cash advances and incur a handling fee. ‘Cash advances’ also include the purchase of travellers’ cheques and foreign currency.

“Yes I do have a credit card, but I’ve never used it. I just have it in case of emergencies as I’m worried about getting into debt”

“I use my card all the time for spreading the cost of more expensive purchases and online shopping. I also have a few store cards and I’ve had some great discounts and privileges from them. I think as long as you use them responsibly and keep an eye on what you are spending, you will be fine.”

Four of the most student ‘friendly’ credit cards available

However, they do offer up to six weeks’ interest-free credit. This is a great 'cash flow' card to use as it gives you a little more time to pay off your bill than many others. They also offer free purchase protection and 24 hour online banking. This is a great card to have, but you have to be 21 or over. The credit interest’s low for all, at as little as 10% if you go over your monthly budget!

Many other credit cards seem to offer six months interest free on balance transfers but this perfect student credit card also gives interest free purchases for five months. As long as you don't use your credit card to withdraw money then you should steer clear of any interest charges. After this point, if you still have some outstanding money on your account, transfer the balance to another zero percent account and you will not have to spend a penny of interest. This card offers three percent of the value of card purchases as rebate points and no annual fee.

! 0.5% cashback on everything you buy. (You can even choose the look of your student credit card) ! Unfortunately, over 21s only. ! The interest rate is relatively low, the cash back is good and they provide zero percent interest on balance transfers for six months. With a variety of other perks (including free travel insurance) and a low minimum limit (just £250), this is undoubtedly one of the best credit cards to have. ! Marbles credit cards is owned by a company called HFC, part of the HSBC group, so reputability is not something to worry about!

- most desirable in a student credit card - but they also have additional qualities. They offer an instant online decision on most applications, full online cardholder services and the ability to change your credit card features for free. Great credit card rates are obviously the most important thing here but they are the part of the Lloyds TSB group so they have a great customer services team to help you if you are having trouble as well as offline and online account management. Again, interest rates can be as high as a typical 13.9% so make sure you transfer the balance fully when the months are up.

Just keep your balance low, keep an eye on the expiry of the interest free purchase or balance transfer period and simply transfer out onto another student credit card before that date.. !"Using a credit card can spread the cost of an expensive purchase over several months. ! You can gain points towards a reward item/scheme ! It’s quick and convenient: you don’t have to carry a lot of cash around with you ! Store cards can offer discounts on your initial purchases or ‘favoured shopper’ discount days ! They are convenient for online purchases ! They offer you a certain amount of protection on purchases, and extra protection can be gained for around £15 a year.

If you can’t pay the outstanding balance each month, the interest on the unpaid debt can soon add up The promise of low - often ridiculously low - interest rates can be misleading.


Recommended The unintentionally offensive This Week: an Aussie band with a differ

@ SU Curitz

And yet one of the most exciting young singer-songwriters of 2005, Jem, became a sensation in America without being much more than a well-kept secret in the UK. Jem was born in Wales and grew up in Penarth. By the age of 13 she was singing and writing songs, recording them on basic equipment. Yet it remained a hobby for some time. While studying Law at Sussex University in Brighton, Jem first

@ Solus

@ Walkabout

Schmit

Schmit

Neighbours

As tempted as I may now be to rant about how sensational Neighbours is and how watching it (twice a day) is probably more important to most students than their degree, I’m not. Alan, as he will now be rightly referred to, is here on other business. His recent and current tour of

our nation comes with the purpose of promoting his band and debut album, ‘The Waiting Room’, and In the Waiting Room respectively. The band consists of Alan Fletcher, Tommy Rando and Chris Hawker. Waiting Room formed in mid-2004 and have been playing regular gigs around the city of Melbourne ever since. While Alan Fletcher needs no real introduction, the others may. Chris has been playing music most of his life. He has toured Australia extensively, playing guitar for some of the countries highest profile bands, from Tina Arena to Taxi Ride. One of his bands Bodymotors is currently mixing their sixth

album, due for release later this year. Tommy has been a singer/guitarist from a very young age, and was helped along by a scholarship grant to the National Guitar Summer Workshop held in Connecticut, New York. Copies of the new album should be available for you to buy on the night, although that’s if you get a ticket. They’re going to sell out very quickly, so I thoroughly advise getting yours now.

P ic k e of th k We e

This Thursday there are events going on all around the UK all aiming to tackle the stigma and ignorance that continues to surround HIV and Aids. If you want to get out and support the worthy cause, then you can get your lazy arse down to Solus for a top night out. The event is going to take the shape of a mini-festival, and it is being organised by the SHAG and People and Planet societies, it promises to be a fun-packed night out involving music of all genres. Traffic are taking over the end room and will be DJing all night, and Jazz are providing a variety of

became involved in the music industry, promoting club nights with Fatboy Slim and other Skint artists, and the Essential Festivals, working for Big Beat Boutique and becoming a DJ agent. During this time she co-created and ran the breaks label Marine Parade, but felt she was neglecting her own music. In 1999 Jem returned to Wales and set about recording her own songs on a portable studio. Together with producer Guy Sigsworth she wrote the song Nothing Fails, which was later picked up by Madonna for use on her American Life album. Within no time her demo tracks were being played on some of the most influential LA radio stations, and she quickly became a household name over there. This talented Welsh hotty is destined for bigger and better things, and this concert promises to be not only a decent live performance (which makes a change from the lip-syncing likes of Liberty X) but also a diverse mix of song styles and instrumental choices. A semi-chilled evening well worth braving the weather for. Get tickets before they all sell out as I’m sure with music that easily appeals to most, this concert will be a quick sell-out.

different jazz groups to play in the long side room. The bands in the main room are The Blims, We are Trees, and the Live Music Society, as well as dances by Funky Arse Disco Dancing and a People and Planet Fairtrade Café. Save the Children will be doing henna tattoos and several local businesses will also be present selling bits of jewellery and accessories. There will also be a Happy Hour, with prices cheaper before 10pm for all your drinking needs. All the proceeds are going to AIDS charities, and support can be shown for the campaign by wearing the red ribbon.

Aids: The Facts • 42 million people around the world are living with HIV or Aids • About14,000 new cases of HIV infections occur every single day • 95 per cent of all Aids cases occur in the world's poorest countries • 5 million people were infected with HIV in 2002 • More than 8,000 people in the world died each day in 2002 due to Aids • There are approximately 50,000 people in the UK living with HIV

- Mon 12 Dec @ Cardiff International Arena ... - Sat 31 Dec @ Barfly ... - Sun 22 Jan @ Students Union ... - Weds 1 Feb @ Students Union ... - Thurs 2 March @ Cardiff International Arena ... - Sat 6 May St. David’s Hall ... - Tues 30 May @ Cardiff International Arena ...


November 28 2005

Day By Day

Page 35

listings@gairrhydd.com

listings with Schmit and Curitz the Staines massive, a pop Jem and err....

Monday28/10

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU The usual alternative anthems. 10pm-2am. Free entry with NUS/£3 otherwise. X Factory @ The Taf Legendary X-press DJs. 9pm-1am FREE. On the Side @ Fun Factory Live Music Society cooks up something special in the Xpress Lounge. New Noise @ Metros Alternative therapy for the musically depressed. 9pm-2am. £3 before 11pm. And more afterwards, presumably. Milk @ Moloko DJ Phoenix and friends play nu-jazz, Latin, broken beats, deep house, etc. Occasional chocolate! Check it out. 8pm-2am. Free Stereogum @ The Union Rock, metal, punk and electro. The Union in town that is. 9pm. £2 with flyer. I-Candy @ Tiger Tiger There are five rooms, five bars, one dance arena, a VIP lounge a live funk band and drinks promotions. 9.30pm. £3/4 NUS. Uberalles @ Buffalo Bar The latest rock and indie tunes. 9pm - 2am. £2/3.

Tuesday29/11 Pick Of The Day Live @ SU Jem. This pop lass actually comes from Wales, and has enjoyed massive success over in the US. See facing page for details. 7pm. £14.

Live @ Barfly Johnny Truant / Beyond All Reason (formerly Osiris) / Blood Roses Their sound is as extreme as it is eclectic noisecore through to classic rock; an intense sound that is jam-packed with groove and melody. 7.30pm £6 Aftershow party @ The Point After Chimaira's massive gig at The Coal Exchange tonight, why not continue the night by coming over to The Point for some aftershow shenanigans. There'll be DJ-ing and drinking all for. 10.30pm. £2

Comedy Club @ CF10, SU It really is rather funny. 8-11pm. £4 NUS. Soul Motion @ Moloko Deep funk, rare soul, Tamla Motown, jazz dance and boogaloo. Boasts a decent dancefloor surface too, which is a must for all that shaking and baking you’ll be doing. 7pm-2am. Free. Rock Inferno @ Clwb Ifor Bach Rock. Metal. Goth. It’s sure to be a good alternative night out. 9pm. £2.50. Live @ Barfly Bleed The Dream + Covergirl + My Little Murder 7.30pm £5. Live @ Coal Exchange Juliette and the Licks It's not unusual for actresses to launch music careers, but Juliette Lewis (From Dusk Til Dawn, Natural Born Killers) has shunned the traditional pop route in favour of fronting her own indie/rock group, the Licks. Sassy, sexually charged, rock'n'roll is the order of the day from this film-star turned rock vixen. Worth checking out. 7.30pm. Live @ CIA UB40 Birmingham's favourite reggae band who have been together since 1978 and have had numerous hits including 1 In 10, Cherry Oh Baby, Homely Girl and Red Red Wine. 7.30pm £29.50. Aftershow party @ The Point After Juliette & The Licks massive gig at the Coal Exchange there's another aftershow for Juliette Lewis and the band to have a few beers and listen to some good music. 10.30pm. £2.

Friday02/12

Saturday03/12

Pick Of The Day Zane Lowe @ UWIC The Radio 1 / MTV 2 star spins the decks in UWIC tonight.

Pick Of The Day Live @ SU. Hard Fi. The band hailing from Staines visit Cardiff on their hugely successful UK tour. This gig has SOLD OUT. 7pm. £12.50. Fat Friday @ Solus, SU If you go you will drink, and drinking makes you fat. 10pm-2am. £3.50/£3 adv. Charity Night @ CF10 Xpress Radio presents a fun filled night in aid of Children in Need. Comedy, DJs, dancing and more. 7pm. The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Indie, Retro, Legendary Sounds (downstairs) 10.30pm – 2.30am. £3.50/ £4. Mad4It! @ Barfly Join Mike TV for the Greatest Indie & Alternative Hits Ever. 10.30pm-2am. £3. Chaos @ Metros Real rock. Begone cheesy Wednesday saps. £2.50 before 10pm. Full Fat @ Moloko Cheeky bootlegs to heavy funk, old skool classics, and jump up party breaks. Free entry before 11pm. Audio Velvet @ Buffalo Bar Weekly party action of new music mixed with beat driven mayhem from the past, present and future. 8pm. £2/3. Live @ Clwb Ifor Bach Beneath The Surface & Slow Graffiti Present Hot Chip / Shit Disco / Evils / Orcop. 8pm £6. Live @ Barfly The Young Gods / The Broken Arm Of Love. Swiss noise pioneers leaving a fascinating trail, always changing, without ever losing their identity. 7.30pm. £10. Live @ The Point La Vida Santana. Europe's leading Santana tribute band return for another lively rock workout. 7.30pm. £10. Comedy @ Jongleurs The usual drinks, food, and laughs. 7pm. £8.

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Hip hop and breaks in Junction Bar. Jazz, soul and fun. Blueprint @ Moloko Retro disco, future house, disco roots. Ends at 2am, drinks promo all night. Free before 10pm. Latin in the Xpress Lounge. 10pm-2am. £3.50. Fly Swatter @ Barfly All the best alternative music from yesteryear lined up with current dance floor fillers to make your weekend throb with brilliance.10.30pm. £3 NUS. Hellbent! @ The Model Inn, Quay Street The only city centre rock night on a Saturday. 9pm - 2am. Delinquent @ Metros Alternative and new music. 9pm-3am. Free with flyer before 10pm/£4. Clwb Cariad @ Clwb Ifor Bach Contemporary Welsh Sounds (downstairs) £4/3 10pm – 2.30am. Bar Lamerica @ Cantaloop Resident DJs. 9pm. £FREE for VIPs. Bogiez @ Point Student rock night. 9pm. £4. Pick Of The Day Live @ Barfly Kubb / This Et Al / Broken Sleep. Rescheduled gig - all original tickets are valid. A good chance to see some up and coming bands. 7.30pm. £8. Live @ Clwb Ifor Bach Tricky Nixon / The October Country / Red City. Ubercool Manchester based four piece Tricky Nixon have already toured with the likes of McLusky, Nine Black Alps, and the Kaiser Chiefs, and are causing quite a stir on the airwaves. 8pm £5. Live @ WMC Christmas Presence: Sir James Galway / Lady Jeanne Galway / Judith Howarth and more. 7.30pm. £15.

Wednesday30/11

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU There’s a duck. It’s rubber.10pm. £3. Indie Kids Die In Hot Bars @ Barfly Featuring the latest and greatest new music, live acts and guest DJs. The team behind Fly Swatter bring you Indie Kids Die in Hot Bars. 10.30pm. £4 . Material @ Moloko Weekly night of left field disco, new wave and punk funk fused with the best of the new 80's influenced tunes. 8pm/2am. £Free. Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach The Popscene mob run riot with a splattering of guile, style and the best new music: aucous 'indie' and the like, heavily laden with guitars throughout. 9.30pm. £3. Live @ St David’s Hall Roots Unearthed: World Rhythms:Show Of Hands. This is widely acknowledged as the finest acoustic roots duo in England and voted Best Live Act in the 2004 BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards, the jury is still out on just what kind of music they play. A genre defying mix of rock, roots, blues, country, trad, and often influenced by the music of other countries, it is played out on an array of instruments from slide guitar to fiddle, mandolin to South American cuatro. 8pm £8. Live @ Buffalo Bar Marissa Nadler A sultry chanteuse from New York, whose captivating voice will transport you to another place. 7.30pm £5. Pick Of The Day Live @ Barfly Kid Ego / Harken / Dead Against The Rest A proper dirty sleaze-hard rock gang whose talent has led them to play with Hurricane Party, The Damned, The Glitterati, The Datsuns e.t.c... big hair, tight leather trousers and even bigger guitars...one of the UK's fastest rising glam/hard rock bands. Should be interesting... 7.30pm £5.

Sunday04/12

Cleverdick Quiz @ The Taf, SU They provide the questions, you provide the answers. In my case, the wrong ones. MedClub Quiz @ MedBar, Heath Site The same. 8pm. Pub Quiz @ Woodville Yet another Sunday night quiz to ponder over. 7pm. Acoustic Night @ Moloko 7pm-2am. £1. The Hop @ Buffalo Bar Cult 50s film, drive-in themes, weekly buffet, extra large milkshake cocktails. 8pm. £2/3. Live @ Barfly Dignity Dies First / Malicious Intent / The Threat / 21 Meadow Street. Probably a gig for the younger persons among us. Lots of spotty faces will no doubt feature. 7pm. £4. Live @ Clwb Ifor Bach Adequate 7 / Dopamine / The 44's. A seven piece West Country band playing the dark side of punk, skacore & funkcore. 8pm £7/5. Live @ Clwb Ifor Bach Adem / Richard James.Once a member of the band Fridge with Kieren Hebden (aka Four Tet) Adem has developed quite a formidable reputation since moving on. 8pm £8. Live C.I.A Tony Christie. Crusty crooner relives his fame after Peter Kay’s ‘Amarillo’ success. 7.30pm. £21.50. Live @ St. David’s Hall Shakin’ Stevens. Oh dear. 7.30pm. £17.50. The Fourth Chair @ The Social Improvised comedy entertainment. 7.30pm. £FREE. Pick Of The Day Hip Hound Lounge @ CF10 Hot Damn, It’s a Jazz Jam! Calling all jazz musicians and singers. Come along and join in with our adept house band for an almighty jazz jam. 8pm. £2 (£1 Jazz Soc members).

Thursday01/12

Raid @ Solus A night of entertainment organised by SHAG and People and Planet societies in benefit of World Aids Day. See facing page. Devious @ Barfly Track requests + top tunes + cheap drinks = a rocking night out! 10.30pm-2am. £3. Cheapskates @ Metros Now on Thursday nights. Alternative & cheese. Does exactly what it say on the tin, with drinks being cheaper than a bag of McCains. Double and a mixer cost 99p. 9pm-2am. Enthusiasm @ Moloko Cardiff’s premier hip hop/drum ‘n’ bass night. And as of fairly recently open ‘til later than late. Tonight - High Contrast / Haze and Focus / Paul B / Parker. 8pm-3am. Free before 11pm. Clubnight @ La Tropicana Hip Hop and R &B student night. 10pm. Cookie Puss @ Buffalo Bar The real deal mix of non re-issue funk 45s, soul melodies, afro, freakbeat and a nice bit of jazz. 9pm. £2/3. Loco @ La Tantra Open until 4am. Pick Of The Day Live @ CIA Feeder / Goldie Lookin' Chain. With more razzle-dazzle jewellery than Mr T, this novelty rap act from South Wales manage to make The Streets' Mike Skinner appear positively middle-class. Armed with a few songs about smoking weed, shagging monkeys and, erm, 'cider enemas', and despite no obvious signs of talent, they are headlining gigs around the UK. Truly terrifying. 6.30pm £18.50. Live @ Barfly The Others / Inner City Pirates. The guerilla gig enthusiasts have booked this venue so this gig won’t be broken up. Good support comes from local band and Barfly favourites, Inner City Pirates (formerly My Red Cell). 7.30pm £8

VENUES Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com


IMG Sport

Page 36

November 28 2005

weloveimg@gairrhydd.com

THE FULL IMG BREAKFAST IMG NETBALL TABLES ROUND 6 IMG Netball

Group One P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Socsi A

6

5

0

1

76

15

2

Stringfellows A

6

5

0

1

24

12

3

Medics A =

5

4

0

1

43

12

4

English Soc

6

4

0

2

14

12

5

Christian Union

6

2

1

3

-14

7

6

Socsi B =

5

1

1

3

-31

4

7

Medics B

6

1

0

5

-39

3

8

Pharmacy B

6

1

0

5

-67

3

IMG Netball 1

Cardiff B

Group Two P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

5

5

0

0

77

15

2

SAWSA

5

3

0

2

1

9

3

Chem Soc

5

3

0

2

-1

9

4

Dynamo Tigers

5

2

0

3

-10

6

5

German Soc

5

2

0

3

-23

3

6

Law B *

5

2

0

3

12

3

7

Optometry **

5

2

0

3

7

0

8

Engin Girls

5

0

0

5

-63

0

IMG Netball W

D

L

Diff

NETBALL

Pts

1

Cardiff A

6

6

0

0

121

18

2

Carbs A

6

4

0

2

68

12

3

Carbs B =

5

3

0

2

-5

9

4

Economics

6

3

0

3

-14

9

5

Pharmacy A

6

3

0

3

-20

9

6

Law A

6

2

0

4

-25

6

7

Gym Gym *=

5

2

0

3

-67

3

8

Stringfellows B

6

0

0

6

-58

0

FOOTBALL

NUMBER OF GOALS: 233 Goals, 21.18 goals per game MOST GOALS SCORED: Socsi A and Cardiff A with 24 goals. SURPRISE PACKAGE: Law A upset the odds by beating a fairly consistent Carbs A side. EPIC GAME: Law A beating Carbs A 16-14. Plenty of goals and drama on show. CONSISTENT PERFORMER: Cardiff A, six wins out of six, enough said. TEAM OF THE WEEK: It has got to be Law A- what a result!

NUMBER OF GOALS: 98 Goals, 6.125 goals per game. WHIPPING BOYS: Dental Utd, losing 12-0 to Carbs. SURPRISE PACKAGE: English Society raised eyebrows by beating JOMEC 2-0. EPIC GAME: Inter Me-Nan v Myg Myg, a 10-goal thriller CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Newcomers Zoology and FC Arse’Alona TEAM OF THE WEEK: A tough one. 12 goals in any game is fantastic. Carbs get the nod.

IMG Netball Results

IMG Football Results

Socsi B N Socsi A 24 English Soc 6 Christ Union 19

-

N Medics A 10 Medics B 10 S’fellows A 11 Pharmacy B

Carbs A 14 Gym Gym 8 Economics 5 S’fellows B 4

-

16 Law A 18 Pharmacy A 24 Cardiff A 5 Carbs B

Socsi A 13 Socsi B 13 Christ Union 4 English Soc 11

-

5 4 6 3

Medics A Medics B S’fellows A Pharmacy B

IMG Netball Fixtures

Group Three P

Dave Menon delivers his verdict on another week of IMG madness

Sat 26 Nov German Soc Chem Soc Cardiff B SAWSA

v v v v

Law B Dynamo Tigers Engin Girls Optometry

Wed 30 Nov Socsi A Christ Union English Soc Socsi B

v v v v

S’fellows A Medics A Medics B Pharmacy B

German Soc Chem Soc Cardiff B SAWSA

v v v v

Dynamo Tigers Law B Optometry Engin Girls

IMG FOOTBALL ROUND 4 TABLES

Law A Zoology Cardiff Uni Real Madras

6 5 5 0

-

1 3 0 9

Japsoc AFC Euros Automotive Psycho Ath.

Gym Gym Chem Soc Inter Me-Nan Real Havanna

4 7 4 1

-

2 1 6 3

Dragons AFC Cathays Myg Myg Economics

Arse’Alona Hurricanes AFC Momed Ab. Fantastic

2 4 4 7

-

1 1 2 0

Dynamo Cen. Pharm AC Architecture Plan’kos

Dental Utd Euros Lang Locomotive English Soc

0 0 2 2

-

12 Carbs 1 Law B 3 AFC History 0 JOMEC

IMG Football Fixtures Law A Japsoc Zoology AFC Euros

v v v v

Psycho Ath. Automotive Cardiff Uni Real Madras

Chemsoc Economics AFC Cathays Real Havanna

v v v v

Myg Myg Gym Gym Dragons Inter Me-Nan

Plan’kos Arse’Alona Ab Fantastic Dynamo Cen

v v v v

Hurricanes Architecture AFC Momed Pharm AC

JOMEC Locomotive English Soc AFC History

v v v v

Carbs Euro Lang Law B Dental Utd

ASHER SHINES IN MOMED WIN

IMG Football

Group One P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Zoology

4

4

0

0

14

12

2

Law A

4

3

0

1

16

9

3

Cardiff Uni

4

3

0

1

6

9

4

Japsoc

4

2

0

2

5

6

5

Psycho Atletico

4

2

0

2

2

6

6

AFC Euros

4

1

0

3

-3

3

7

Automotive

4

1

0

3

-6

3

8

Real Madras *

4

0

0

4

-32

-3

IMG Football

Group Two P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

4

4

0

0

16

12

1

Economics

2

Chem Soc

4

3

0

1

10

9

3

Gym Gym

4

3

0

1

9

9

4

Myg Myg

4

2

0

2

-4

6

5

Real Havana

4

1

1

2

-2

4

6

Cardiff Dragons

4

1

1

2

-5

4

7

AFC Cathays

4

1

0

3

-10

3

8

Inter Me-Nan

4

0

0

4

-14

0

IMG Football

Group Three P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

FC Arse’Alona

4

4

0

0

7

12

2

Ab. Fan. *

4

3

1

0

9

7

3

Momed *

4

3

0

1

7

6

4

Dynamo Cen.

4

2

0

2

0

6

5

Hurricanes

4

1

1

2

-2

4

6

Architecture

4

1

0

3

-5

3

7

Pharm AC

4

1

0

3

-9

3

8

Plan’kos

4

0

0

4

-22

0

IMG Football

Group Four P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

4

3

0

1

13

9

By Chris Allen IMG Football Reporter

1

Carbs

2

AFC History

4

3

0

1

11

9

In the first round of IMG fixtures for about a month, Momed overcame a battling Architecture side thanks to four goals from Asher Pirri.

3

Locomotive

4

3

0

1

9

9

4

English Soc

4

2

0

2

3

6

5

Law B

4

2

0

2

0

6

6

Euros Lang *

4

2

0

2

-2

3

7

JOMEC

4

1

0

3

-7

3

8

Dental Utd

4

0

0

4

-27

0

PHOTO: Luke Pavey

* Deducted 3 points = No result because team sheet was not handed in after the game

IMG REPORTERS NEEDED KEEPER’S BALL: Momed and Architecture battle it out


Page 38

November 28 2005 sport@gairrhydd.com

WANTED: SOME POINTS By George Pawley Sport Reporter Cardiff Ladies’ 1st XV Bath Ladies’ 1st XV

0 19

with the half-time score 0-7 to Bath. Bath made Cardiff pay for their missed opportunities in the second half as they went on to cross the home side’s try line twice more as the

DEFEAT: But by no means outplayed

THE WEEKEND of November 19 and 20 will no doubt be remembered by the members of the Cardiff Uni Canoe Club who attended the BUSA White Water Race at the Washburne Valley. Not only did the temperature drop to well below freezing in the evenings

but the club won one of the disciplines despite this being the first year in which they have entered. The club was lucky to be able to take enough people to enter in as many of the team and individual events as possible, and everyone gave a good account of themselves. Rich Grounds and Barnaby Munn won the Topo Duo Open event by a margin of one second to take home the only silverware of the

weekend. Slightly hindered by the lack of specialist whitewater racing boats, Cardiff gave their utmost, with no-one being disqualified and everyone finishing the course in all the events they entered. For many members of the club this was their first challenging river trip and so everyone should be proud of their achievements. Cardiff finished a respectable tenth. PHOTO: Mark Byrne

RESPECTABLE: Club finished tenth out of eighteen

but from the resulting scrum, rapid wing Stacey crossed for her second try of the match. The score remained 0 – 12 as the conversion attempt was sliced wide.

Bath made Cardiff pay for missed opportunities in the second half Despite a succession of promising attacks from Cardiff, with Jessica Baine and Kerry Gold heavily involved, the game was put beyond the side’s grasp with seven minutes left. Bath’s pacey backs finished the contest as a series of quick passes allowed their exciting full-back Taylor to cross in the corner. The conversion was added, making the final score 0 – 19. The result left Cardiff still without a win in the BUSA Women’s South Premier, and badly in need of some points in order to kick-start this seasons campaign. Cardiff Women’s second XV were also in action on Wednesday. They beat Swansea 20 – 0. The result leaves the seconds behind a dominant Exeter in the BUSA Women’s 1A league at the halfway stage of the season.

Canoe duo gold

By David Hoare Canoeing Reporter

players grew tired in the difficult conditions. The away side stretched their lead on the hour mark. Bath’s lock broke from a maul and was held up through a defensive infringement, PHOTO: Adam Gasson

CARDIFF WOMEN’S rugby first team went down 19-0 to an organised Bath side at a chilly Llanrumney on Wednesday, but the home side were by no means outplayed. The team began the match missing team captain Rachel Merriman who was sidelined through injury, so Kat Gubb stepped in to skipper the side. The early exchanges were full of tenacious tackling as each team tried to find a real passing rhythm and the first points came in the fourth minute. Bath wing Tessa Stacey burst through the Cardiff line to score in the corner, and the subsequent conversion was slotted home making the score 0 – 7. Cardiff were contesting the scrums and rucks with vigour and fresher Simone Shepherd nearly squeezed through the strong Bath front row on a number of occasions. But a combination of good defensive work and not enough support when in possession meant the home side could not fashion an opening despite pressure from the forwards, and a well functioning lineout. Bath’s defence were holding strong even though most of the rugby was being played in their half as Cardiff maintained their attacking moves. Full-back Leay Sue was stopped five metres short after a blind-side break.

Once again, Cardiff were lacking a final pass on the 31st minute as a knock-on intervened just as the overlap opened up in the final third. The teams went back into their huddles

SNAKE THAT By David Pruett American Football Reporter Cardiff Cobras Royal Holloway Vikings

53 6

A THREE TOUCHDOWN, 150 all purpose yard first half performance from WR Andrew Hardy helped set up an impressive Cobras victory in their first match of the season. Having endured the horrors of a 7am start, the Cobras started the game eager to prove they were awake and ready to play, with Hardy returning a punt 65 yards for a touchdown after the defence forced Holloway to go three and out on their first possession. WR/K Tom Wilson’s extra point attempt was good. Hardy came close again on the next possession but was dragged down by the last defender on the 32yard line and it was from there that RB James Godfrey carried the ball to the end-zone on the Cobras first offensive play. The extra point attempt was this time unsuccessful. It was Godfrey again who went in on the next possession behind some great offensive line-blocking scampering through the right side of the line for a 23-yard score. Some good blocks enabled the

running back to show some great speed, get to the corner and run in a score from 34 yards out. The Cobras, however, came straight back with Hardy making a great play on a ball that was tipped in the end-zone, hauling it in for the touchdown. When Cardiff got the ball back after another three and out by the Vikings, it was RB Jake Heath’s turn to get in on the action as he, helped by WR Tom Wilson’s downfield block, took a sweep 61 yards for the teams fifth score. Another great TD grab by Hardy as time expired meant the score went to 40 – 6 in the Cobras favour at the half. The second half of the contest was a more scrappy affair as the threadbare Vikings squad began to tire and the Cobras took the opportunity to blood some of their rookies. However, it was old-timer Andrew Giblin who made the first big play of the half, with an interception setting up great field position for the Cobras. Rookie FB Liam Healy was able to break free down the left on fourth down and 13 streaking 17 yards all the way in for the score on the next play. Another rookie, RB Obinna Anyaegbu, also scored a touchdown in the second half as the Cobras ran out winners by 53 - 6.


Sport

November 28 2005

Page 39

sport@gairrhydd.com

SECOND IS BEST Cardiff 2nds 31 Cardiff 3rds 27

CARDIFF SECONDS netball team avoided an embarrassing defeat to the thirds on Wednesday to maintain their unbeaten record and first place position in their BUSA league. The thirds will feel disappointed with the result as they held the lead for the majority of the game. With a top-of-the-table position and unbeaten record going into the winner, the seconds were the clear favourites for this game. The thirds, though, were eager for an upset. Spurred on by the desire for revenge over the seconds who beat them by just six points last month, the thirds made a good start and quickly took a 5-0 lead. The hard-working thirds were clearly psyched-up and outplayed the seconds in the first quarter. The seconds did though manage to end the first quarter just three behind at 8-5. Substitutions at the first break saw Sophie Davies come on at goal attack. Sophie had previously declared herself unfit for play due to flu, but found she was unable to watch from the side as her team looked to be heading for defeat. Davies made an immediate impact, helping her team to level at 10-10. This equilibrium lasted less than a minute though as the thirds fought back to regain a two-point lead at the end of the second quarter. The seconds were starting to show

a bit more of their previous form, deciding to cut down the number of high balls that were being intercepted by the thirds’ tall defenders Ali QuasCohen and Sarah Fenwick. Despite the seconds’ new resolve, the thirds proved they were still not satisfied with their narrow lead, and by the end of the penultimate quarter had stretched it to 23-18. This left the thirds fifteen minutes away from a momentous victory over their training partners. Unfortunately for them the seconds now started to show why they were one place above them in the Cardiff netball hierarchy. In attack, Sophie Davies and Jen Green were combining well and scoring rapidly, while in defence they were now looking strong, with goaldefender Ros Parker playing particularly well. The seconds gained the lead for the first time in the 52nd minute at 24-25. From the sideline both benches could see the balance of power had shifted to the seconds. While the thirds tried their hardest to hold on to the seconds’ coat tails, they were unable to prevent the score eventually finishing 27-31. After the game, seconds’ Captain Jen Green put the difficulty of the victory down to the fact that “It’s always hard when playing against other members of the squad, and they really wanted to beat us”. For the vast majority for this match the result was unpredictable and, in the words of Andrea Parker, the difference in scores at the end of the match “didn’t reflect the play of the game”.

AU PRESIDENT’S

COLUMN By Lisa Gwinnett

Photo: Luke Pavey

By Steve Myerscough Netball Reporter

THIRDS: Very unlucky

Cardiff continue to impress

By Jon Beridge Chief Rugby Reporter Marjons Cardiff Rugby 1st XV

3 39

CARDIFF RAN in five tries as they tore apart Marjons. In recording their fourth win of the BUSA season Cardiff can realistically challenge current leaders Oxford for the league title. However, for the third successive week Cardiff gave away an early lead with the Marjons fly-half converting a penalty. From the restart Cardiff responded emphatically. A burst from blood replacement Tom Herbert (Daniel Hopkins had his nose broken) led to wing Dan Pollard crossing the try line. Tom Eastham converted to give the visitors a 7-3 lead in the tenth minute. The deficit was extended near half-time with Tom Eastham converting a simple penalty to give Cardiff a 10-3 lead. Marjons began the second half positively with a series of attacking lineouts inside the visitors’ twentytwo but the Cardiff defence held firm. Cardiff began to re-take control of the

game and were rewarded with a second try. Lock Adam Frampton scored his first BUSA try for Cardiff following a drive from the forwards. Eastham converted to give Cardiff a 17-3 lead. It was due reward for Adam Frampton who with fellow second-row Ben Sidgwick were again outstanding in the lineout. Cardiff lineout success rate was ninety percent compared to the Marjons, which was sixty percent. The match was won up front with the front row of Brad Raison, Aaron Fowler and Aled Richards dominant. Marjons lost four of their nine scrums such was the pressure exerted on their tight five. Cardiff’s powerful scrum ensured the half-backs Tom Eastham and Sam Burford received good ball. The last five minutes saw Cardiff score three tries of the highest calibre. This came after the Marjons outsidecentre was given a red card after he had thrown punches off the ball. Tom Eastham collected three points from the penalty. Matt Hopper rounded off a passing move started from the Cardiff twenty-two, to notch up his sixth BUSA try of the season in as many games. Tom Eastham easily convert-

ed the try to make the score 27-3. From the restart Cardiff scored again with Tom Herbert crossing over following great hands from centre Geoff Hobbs. Dan Pollard converted the try with Tom Eastham off the pitch. The final try of the match was arguably

the best with slick passing from Tom Hocking, Geoff Hobbs and Tom Herbert leading to Dan Pollard scoring in the corner. The backs coach Andy Price deserves much credit for the way the backs have found top form in recent weeks.

CRICKET STATISTICIAN, Dr Tony Lewis, of Duckworth-Lewis fame, visits Cardiff University next week to suggest fairer measures of player performance in cricket. In his talk, Dr Lewis, of Oxford Brookes University, will cover the development and application of measures of performance that are based on the Duckworth/Lewis methodology of one-day cricket. Traditional performance measures in the sport include batting and bowling averages, and strike and economy rates. These measures are known to be inadequate and rarely tell the full story of players' performances, as the context in which runs are scored or conceded and wickets lost or taken are not

considered. Dr Lewis will show how fairer comparisons can be made not only among batsmen and among bowlers but also between batsmen and bowlers. Although an understanding of the game of one-day cricket will be assumed, sufficient background of the Duckworth/Lewis methodology will be supplied for the understanding of the concepts and results of the analyses described. The talk takes place in the Cardiff University School of Mathematics, Senghenydd Road, Cardiff on November 29. Tea and coffee will be available from 5.30pm for a 6pm start. There is no need to book a place.

Doctor Statto

IT ONLY SEEMS like yesterday that the term began with the hype of the beginning of a new sporting year fuelled with hope, optimism and anticipation. What a hectic eight weeks it has been but we wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s great to see so many people out there getting involved with the Athletic Union. BUSA competitions are over half-way through and our teams have put in some incredible performances so far. Particularly impressive are the netball seconds who have a 100% track record. Acknowledgements also go out to Tennis Men’s firsts, Football Men’s firsts and Squash Men’s seconds, who are all doing extremely well in their leagues. This week sees a BUSA match not to be missed: Cardiff Rugby Men’s first will take on Swansea Rugby Men’s first in a pre-Varsity showdown at our home venue at Llanrumney at 2.30pm. Varsity, which will be held on the 22nd February 2006, is a day of competitions between us and Swansea University in over 20 sports. The pinnacle of the day is the Men’s rugby match which is held in the evening at The Brewery Field, Bridgend. The match is a spectacle from start to finish and is hard to describe in words. It is not so much a match but an experience. Turning to IMG, after the plague of cancelled games, IMG football and rugby restarted on Wednesday much to the delight of players and all of us in the AU. The cancelled IMG football games will now take place in the remaining weeks of term. IMG netball has gone smoothly since term began and anticipation is riding high to see who will make it into the Premiership. Turning to this week, the AU Annual Auction takes place on Wednesday at Rubber Duck with the Military Boot Camp theme. Doors open at 7pm and acts start at 8pm. The AU’s sports clubs will be taking to the stage to ‘strut their stuff’ in a bid to be bought by the higher bidder. Windsurfing, Men’s Rugby, Lacrosse and Squash are some of the clubs involved. So, if you fancy owning one of our sports clubs for the night make sure you get down to Rubber Duck early to avoid disappointment. Please come along and support the AU.


rhydd

CARDIFF LADIES’ SECOND PICK UP GOOD WIN OVER CITY RIVALS


Sport

The man is a legend, not a frail old man. I don’t want to remember Best looking like Grandpa Simpson with his little withered yellow face splashed across the front of all the tabloids. I can’t wait for the numerous programmes that will now be shown about the playboy lifestyle of Best. Now is a chance for those of us born too late to see the magic of Best to re-live some of his greatest moments on and off the pitch. No one can ever get tired of seeing him dance around three players, avoiding ‘chopper’ Harris’ horror tackle and sliding the ball into the back of the net against Chelsea. My father used to joke that Best would score two in the first half, score with the chairman’s wife at half time and complete his hat-trick in the second half. Oh yeah, then he would go home with a Miss World.

He was from the era when footballers were not ordered to be role models for youngsters. They would have a punch up on the pitch (not just roll around on the floor to get someone sent off) and then get out on the piss together on a Saturday night. What do we have these days? The worst footballers do now is get a speeding tickets for driving their super-cars too fast or appear in court for spitting at a fan. If they are really bad, they will have a rape allegation against them that never goes to court. George Best never got accused of rape because no woman ever turned him down. Fact. People say that if he had stayed away from the booze that he could have added another five years to his career and ten or more years to his life, but that just wasn’t George Best. “I blew hundreds of thousands of pounds on women, cars and alcohol – the rest I just squandered.”

The first half belonged to the visitors as their work rate and desire combined with a strong defence to stifle any Cardiff attacking play, and the home side struggled to build any momentum on the ball. However, despite lots of pressure, the defence stayed resiliant. Dave Hannah and makeshift right-back Henry Cole made some brave last-ditch tackles. Goalkeeper Ian Ferguson kept the scores level with two saves from Bath short-corners as Cardiff began to wake up and find their way into the match, the midfield starting to make better use of the ball. It took a smart stop from the Bath goalkeeper to deny Paul Hayes as he was put through by a clever flick by Kieran Rooney (making his debut for the first team). However, it wasn’t long before the rapid striker was given another chance, taken with his usual aplomb, after being played in by Martyn Freshman following great build-up and movement by another fresher, Tom Mulét. Going in at half time, Cardiff knew that they were going to have to work hard in the second half to keep the lead, and sure enough, Bath started sharply, scoring from a short-corner as Ferguson was unable to repeat his

After narrowly losing by four points at home to Bristol last week in what was a thrilling game right to the dying seconds, Cardiff were hoping to pick themselves up in order to battle local rivals UWIC at Talybont on Wednesday. However, Cardiff were faced with injuries to two key players, namely Laurence Roleston and Freddy Mahaat, which made things more difficult from the outset. The first quarter was evenly matched as Cardiff went into the break only five points down at 15-20 to the visitors. It was end to end action during the first few minutes, with UWIC shooting a few three-pointers to gain the edge over the CUBS. UWIC started to steam ahead in the

heroics of earlier as the drag-flick shot into the top corner. The home side didn’t lose heart though and they could see that there were going to be scoring opportunities as the game began to open up. Pressure on the left back by Chris Rhodes caused a turnover situation, allowing forward Nick Gough to waltz his way through a couple of tackles before coolly slotting home inside the near post to take the lead back for Cardiff. It was obvious that the next goal was going to be crucial to the final

second period, profiting from many of the free throws Cardiff conceded, and by the time the quarter was over, they had gained a 15-point advantage. Cardiff’s coach Frank Daw was clearly getting frustrated at UWIC’s attempts to pull away telling his players during a time-out in the second period that “our defence has become spectators.” Half-time served no helpful purpose for Cardiff as they conceded a 24-point lead at the end of the third quarter. Cardiff did, however, play noticeably better at the end of this period, even though UWIC had netted most of the points already. As in the previous period, Cardiff improved greatly towards the end of the fourth quarter and narrowed UWIC’s winning margin. Not for the first time this season, Captain Dafydd Bowen played outstandingly, being a primary contributor to the Cardiff tally. However, Andrew Hassan was Cardiff’s top scorer with eleven, closely followed by Adam Smallman and Nathan Ball both reaching ten points each.

result and it was Tony Gough sweeping home from a short corner that provided it, capping a strong overall performance at centre-back. Cardiff began to play with confidence and ease now as Bath’s resolve dropped. Their superior fitness was evident and they retained possession with ease, one counter attack allowing defender Gareth Owen to break the length of the pitch to finish a flowing team move started by both forwards, a diving reverse strike taking the Bath ‘keeper by surprise.

However Cardiff Uni began putting strong pressure on their defence and quickly gained a 1-0 lead. The Medics found it difficult to play the ball out of the impressive press imposed upon them. Fortunately for the Medics, Matt Tyson managed to equalise with a cheeky shot, keeping the Medics in the game. However, just before half time, Cardiff converted one of their numerous chances, placing them into the lead once more. The half-time break proved to be no advantage to the medics either, with a stunning reverse-stick undercut into the top corner from Uni seconds’ captain Jim Denning, making

With the result put beyond doubt, all that remained was for Hayes to score his second, playing a one-two with Gough before an easy finish on the post. Skipper Duncan Courtney was naturally ecstatic with his teams performance; “We knew they were going to come hard at us, but we absorbed the pressure and by the end we were dominating. Our fitness and clinical finishing are central to how we play, so it was nice to see both being effective today.”

the score 3-1. Cheered on from the side by the fabulous home crowd, including ex-captain Dave Hannah (now playing for the University first eleven), the Medics managed to play their way back into the game, with Tom Lovejoy and Lawrence Hayward scoring in quick succession. With the scores equal and the Medics revitalised, they began to turn the pressure back on the Uni players. The tempo of their play increased and some fluent attacking play resulted in a number of chances being created. Ben Hansel skilfully moved down the right, whilst Olly Side powered his way down the left. Urged on by the sounds of balls slapping on the backboard, John Anderson made up for his lack of action with a fantastic D to D run, scoring just minutes before the final whistle. The hugely disappointed Cardiff seconds were left with very little time for any retribution or retaliation.


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.