gair rhydd - Issue 821 by Cardiff Student Media

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FREE

GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR

QUENCH BRINGS YOU HOLLYWOOD

ISSUE 821 OCTOBER 2 2006

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

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GUAR DIAN STUDE NT MAGAZIN E OF THE YEAR

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INTERVIEW

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Student falls from Union balcony while queuing to register for IMG

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By Katie Kennedy News Editor

Photo: Sarah Day

FULL STORY: BACK PAGE

E BIG SCRE

A STUDENT who thought he was buying a brand new laptop for a bargain price of £200 walked away with a box of sand. The student was conned while walking down Woodville Road in Cathays on September 13, after being stopped by a passing

motorist. The two men inside the vehicle showed the student a laptop that looked brand new, and asked him if he wanted to buy it for £200. The student said he did want to but did not have the money on him. The conmen then offered to drive him to the cash point so he could withdraw the money. After the student had paid the men he was handed a box covered

in bubble wrap to suggest the laptop was brand new. He later discover that it did not contain a new computer, but contained a bag of sand. PC Bob Keohane, Cardiff University’s student liason officer, warned students to be wary of people offering this sort of deal. He said: “Use common sense if people approach you offering goods to buy for very cheap prices.

“It is likely to be a scam or you could be buying stolen property. “These things often happen around freshers’ week when people try to con new students. “If the same sort of thing does happen to other students, they should record any vehicle registration and get descriptions of the people who sold you the item. Let the police know straight away” The student declined to make an

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NEWS

OCTOBER.O2.2006 NEWS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

a glance October 2 2006

News Editorial & Opinion Letters Columnist Politics Letters Media Health Interviews Jobs & Money Science/Environment Television Problem Page Five Minute Fun Listings Sport

1 6 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 25 29 !" !#

EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vantage, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley, Jon Berridge LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV Grace, TV John, TV Neil LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD This position needs filling SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MIN FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITOR James Perou PROOF READERS Joanne Grew, Kieran Harwood, Andrew Rennison CONTRIBUTORS Eric Williams, Jimmy Ashcroft, Dan Ridler, Nicola Menage, ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

WE ARE CURRENTLY VERY, VERY SHORT STAFFED. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET INVOLVED IN ANY WAY, PLEASE CONTACT US OR SIGN UP AT THE FRESHERS’ FAYRE. NO LEVEL OF EXPERTISE IS NEEDED

Societies shocker By Katie Kennedy News Editor “THIS is a nightmare”, was the comment of one student wondering around the societies’ fayre on Thursday. L,%$' 0.0-./4' ,8' 4,6".%".4' 2&1 %$.' &.*' 4%(1.&%4' $,)"&#' %,' X,"& %$.0' .[)/.44.1' $,*' (&42%"48".1 %$.3'*./.'*"%$'$,*'%$.'823/.'*24 02&2#.1' 2%' 6./%2"&' %"0.4' ,8' %$. 123= 9 U(.(.'"&%,'%$.'823/.'4)2&&.1 8/,0' %$.' M.&#$.&311' e,21 .&%/2&6.'"&%,'%$.'S&",&'%,'C2%$234 /2"+*23' 4%2%",&5' *"%$' $(&1/.14' ,8 4%(1.&%4' 2&1' 4%2++' ,/#2&"4./4' +.8% ,(%4"1.'*$.&'%$./.'*./.'%,,'02&3 ).,)+.'"&'%$.'`/.2%'f2++= Z002' G2/15' )/.4"1.&%' ,8' %$. M)2&"4$' 2&1' @%2+"2&' 4,6".%3' 42"1E

F@%' 4..04' 0(6$' 0,/.' 02&"6' %$2& +24%'3.2/=''>$./._4'%,,'02&3').,)+.5 3,(' 62&_%' .J.&' *2+7' 1,*&' %$. 2"4+.4=H I,.' M.++02&5' )/.4"1.&%' ,8' %$. )$"+,4,)$3' 4,6".%3' 42"1E' F@%_4' 4, -21+3',/#2&"4.15'%$.3'1"1&_%'2&%"6"A )2%.' %$.' 20,(&%' ,8' 4%(1.&%4' 6,0A "&#'%,'%$.'.J.&%=H M,0.'4,6".%3'0.0-./4'*./. &,%'.J.&'2++,*.1'"&%,'%$.'$2++5'2&1 *$.&'%$.'.&%/2&6.'%,'%$.'`/.2% f2++',&'%$.'8"/4%'8+,,/'*24'6+,4.1 %$"4'+.1'%,'6,&8(4",&='' M%(1.&%4'/.)/.4.&%"&#'4,6".%".4 2+4,'$21'%/,(-+.'1.2+"&#'*"%$'%$. 46,/6$"&#'$.2%'"&'%$.'$2++= T.0-./',8'?"#$%+"&.5'903 f2//"4,&5'42"1E'FT3'6,A)/.4"1.&% *24'+,67.1',(%',8'%$.'$2++'8,/'2& $,(/'2&1'2'$2+8=''f.'*.&%',(%'8,/ 2'-,%%+.',8'*2%./'-.62(4.'"%_4'-27A

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Paper chase

Photo: James Perou

THOUSANDS of leaflets adorn the Union steps this week as many companies attempt to lure in the new influx of students. >$.'0.44'62&'-.'4..&'2++'2/,(&1'B2/7'B+26.'24'4%(1.&%4'2/. 8,/6.1'%,'1/,)'+"%%./'*$.&'-"&4',J./8+,*'*"%$'%$.'6,+,(/.1'62/14 ,8'4).6"2+',88./4'2&1'6+(-'&"#$%'21J./%4= d"6.' B/.4"1.&%' ,8' %$.' M%(1.&%4_ S&",&5' Z1' I,&.4' 42"1E' F' @%O4 "&6/.1"-+3'8/(4%/2%"&#'%,'4..'/(--"4$'8/,0',(%4"1.'6,0)2&".4'2++ ,J./'%$.'2/.2='>$.3O/.'&,%'2++,*.1'%,'1"4%/"-(%.',&',(/')/,)./%3 -(%' %$./.O4' +"%%+.' *.' 62&' 1,' 2-,(%' +.28+.%%"&#' ,&' %$.' )2J.0.&%5 2+%$,(#$'*.'(&1./4%2&1'%$2%'4,0.'&.*'+.#"4+2%",&'*"++'-.'6,0A "&#'"&%,'8,/6.'"&'G2+.4')/.J.&%"&#'%$"4'7"&1',8'1"4%/"-(%",&'2&1 +"%%./"&#=

Admission Impossible

By Adam Millward News Editor CARDIFF STUDENTS are among thousands preparing for a major demonstration against rising university fees. >$.' 02/6$' "4' %,' %27.' )+26.' "& !,&1,&',&'M(&123'P6%,-./':Q=' @%'*"++'4%2/%'2%'RR20'2%'%$.'S&"J./4"%3 ,8'!,&1,&'S&",&',&'T2+.%'M%/..%5'6,&A %"&("&#' )24%' L"#' L.&' 2&1' G$"%.$2++5 -.8,/.' .&1"&#' "&' 2' /2++3' 2%' >/282+#2/

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Put that light out! SMOKING will be banned in all enclosed public spaces in Wales from next year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

Victory for mature students OLDER students have won the right to receive a student loan, thanks to a vigorous campaign run by Age Concern. S&%"+' %$"4' 3.2/5' 4%(1.&%4' ,J./' ]] *./.' &,%' .&%"%+.1' %,' +,2&4' %,' )23' 8,/ %$."/'%("%",&'8..45'-(%'28%./'%$.'6$2/"%3_4 )/.44(/.' ,&' %$.' D.)2/%0.&%' 8,/ Z1(62%",&'2&1'M7"++4'%$.'2#.'+"0"%2%",& *24'46/2)).1= >$.' 2#.' +"0"%' 8,/' 4%(1.&%' +,2&4' 8,/ +"J"&#'6,4%4'$24'-..&'/2"4.1'8/,0']]'%, Y;5'$,*.J./'9#.'C,&6./&'"4'62++"&#'8,/ 2#.' +"0"%4' ,&' %$.4.' +,2&4' %,' -.' 2-2&A 1,&.1'2+%,#.%$./=

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NEWS

OCTOBER.02.2006 NEWS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Cave Robbers By Helen Thompson News Editor

Union heist By Katie Kennedy News Editor AN ARMED robbery outside the union caused panic after a masked gang wielding metal bars robbed a security van. ! 9 - $ S#, 3&’, - &$ , - 3&’#&1$ 9 #&# ) ; - 3*$*- $) **#/ 4$*- $) $, ) 1" $: ) , " ’/ #$’/ *" #$W/ ’- / <$9 " #/ $*" #$. ) / . $) 11) 3+*#4 *" #: $ ) / 4$ : ) 4#$ - 22$ 9 ’*" $ 3%$ *X>N<NNN$’/ $, ) 1" @ E &: #4$ %- +’, #$ *" #/ $ 13&&- 3/ 4#4 *" #$3/ ’- / $) 2*#&$9 ’*/ #11#1$&#%- &*#4 1##’/ . $ *" #$ . ) / . $ , ) &&A’/ . $ . 3/ 1< 9 " ’, " $+) *#&$*3&/ #4$- 3*$*- $; #$: #*) + ; ) &1@ ! " #$3/ ’- / $; 3’+4’/ . $9 ) 1$1#) +#4 - 22$) 1$%- +’, #$1#) &," #4$*" #$W/ ’- / 2+- - &$; A$2+- - &$’/ $- &4#&$*- $#1*) ; +’1" $’2

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Mouse Hunt: Now Showing No sex please, By Katie Kennedy News Editor

I’m 100.

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NEWS

OCTOBER.02.2006 NEWS@!"#$3-;55.COM

DIAGNOSIS: ‘APPALLING’ & ‘CONFUSING’ By Jo Dingle News Editor

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The ‘Assessment/Feedback’ result scored a dismal 2.4 average at the School of Medicine. Below are some results from other departments: .#*($3$%'-(<:#@()'3';<#5&9#f)3$;$'+%#N"+9$)%#.#g?F .#S+%$&)%%#.#g?Y .#h9+85"$'&#%"+9$)%#.#Y?F .#h&;3$%(.65%)9#%"+9$)%#.#g?^ .#B',,+&$85"$'&%#5&9#Q'+1&53$%,#.#g?g .#*%<8('3';<#.#g?Z .#H+%$8#.#g?a .#h8'&',$8%#.#g?g .#B$7$3:#B(),$853#5&9#'"()1#h&;$&))1$&;#.#g?^

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SCHOOL OF MEDICINE: Room for improvement

Union goes Wireless

Lethal Weapon By Adam Millward News Editor

A NATIONAL warning has been issued to parents concerning an inflatable yo-yo that experts fear could kill.

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By Katie Kennedy News Editor WIRELESS internet access in now available for free in the Students’ Union. @()# /&$'&# =5%# 8'&7)1")9# '7)1 "()# %+,,)1# 7585"$'&# %'# "(5"# %"+. 9)&"%#=('#(57)#5#=$1)3)%%#8519#85& &'=#3';#'&#"'#"()#+&$7)1%$"<#%)17)1 5&<=()1)#$&#"()#6+$39$&;? @()#/&$7)1%$"<#$%#&'=#-35&&$&; "'#$&%"533#"()#&)=#")8(&'3';<#$&#533 %"+9)&"# 588)%%# 51)5%:# $&83+9$&;# 533 3)8"+1)# (533%# 5&9# 3$6151$)%# 6<# &)C" <)51?

YOYO: Toy or killer? INSET: The Pump-It-Up Air Yo-Yo

N"+9)&"%I /&$'&# P)&)153 H5&5;)1#Q5%'&#R+&3'-#%5$9J#K@() 8'&7)1%$'&#'4#"()#N"+9)&"%I /&$'& S+$39$&;#$&#*51>#*358)#(5%#6))&#5 ,5L'1# -51"&)1%($-# %+88)%%# %"'1< 6)"=))&# "()# /&$7)1%$"<# 5&9# "() /&$'&?## K@()# =$1)3)%%# ")8(&'3';<# &'= -1'7$9)%#%"+9)&"%#=$"(#8'&7)&$)&": )5%<#588)%%#"'#$&4'1,5"$'&?M T&)# %"+9)&"# %5$9J# K!"I%# 1)533< +%)4+3# 5&9# $"I%# 61$33$5&"# "(5"# $"I% 41))? K!"I%# 9)4$&$")3<# ;'$&;# "'# ,5>) ,)#8',)#$&"'#"()#+&$'&#,'1)?M

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WORLD NEWS

0CTOBER.02.2006 NEWS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

No Match for Nomad? By Helen Thompson News Editor

What a Prick! A SERBIAN man took matters into his own hands in an attempt to cure his premature ejaculation. !"#$%& '()"*"+(,-& ./-& 0#"1 23*4#$53&6$5&738&9(:6&$&635436"4 "%&$&9(:,65",:"#;7&$5+(,3< =3& %33535& 313#43%,>& 7?#43#> $0:3#& :63& 635436"4;7& %335*37& *30: 6(7&@3%(7&73+3#3*>&*$,3#$:35< A 6"7@(:$*& 7@")371$%& 7$(5B CD63& $%(1$*& 9$7& $@@$#3%:*> ?%6?#:-& $%5& :63& @$:(3%:& ,$13& "00 1?,6& 9"#73& 0#"1& :63& 3%,"?%:3#< E3& 6$+3& 1$%$435& :"& #3@$(#& :63 5$1$43&:"&6(7&@3%(7<F&

Bald Lions are Sexier ZOOLOGISTS have discovered that big lion manes are not the hottest thing in the jungle. G("%37737&$#3&(%&0$,:&:?#%35&"00 H>&(1@#377(+3&H(4&1$%37&H3,$?73 (:&(%5(,$:37&:6$:&:63&*("%&(7&@$7:&(:7 @#(13< I%& 6?1$%& :3#17-& :63& *("%;7 1$%3&(7&:63&3J?(+$*3%:&"0&:63&9$> 13%;7& %"737& $%5& 3$#7& 43:& 6$(#(3# 9(:6&$43-&,$?7(%4&$&73+3#3&530(,(: (%&738?$*&1$4%3:(71<

Kazakhstan has waged a $40 million screen battle on the unlikely opponent of Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen's controversial fictional TV presenter. D63& ,"?%:#>;7& @#37(53%:-& O# '$N$#H$>3+-& 6$7& #37@"%535& :"& ,"%Q ,3#%7& $H"?:& :63& 53@(,:("%& "0 b$N$)67:$%& (%& :63& %39& 1"+(3& ()'*+, -./+.'*/$ 0"*'12134$ )5$ 67"'28*$ 9*:" ("1"52+$ ;/)'2).4$ <*+2)1$ )5 =*>*:?4+*1-& H>& ,"11(77("%(%4& :63 1"7:&38@3%7(+3&0(*1&3+3#&1$53&(%&:63 #3@?H*(,<& <)7*#-& :63& 7:"#>& "0& $& 6$%57"13 9$##("#&7:#(+(%4&:"&?%(:3&b$N$)6&:#(H37 (%& :63& 3(46:33%:6& ,3%:?#>& (%& "#53#& :" 5303$:&:63&(%+$5(%4&O"%4"*7-&(7&(%:3%5Q 35& :"& ,"?%:3#$,:& :63& (1$43& "0 b$N$)67:$%(& 13%& $7& #$,(7:-& 738(7:& $%5 $%:(Q731(:(,-& :6$:& (7& @#"1":35& H>& :63 ,6$#$,:3#&2"#$:&U$45(>3+< D63&63#"(,-&#"1$%:(,&63#"&(7&13$%: :"&H3&:63&$%:(:637(7&"0&:63&(%,"1@3:3%: $%5&0"?*Q1"?:635&2"#$:<& L"63%;7&1"+(3-&96(,6&9$7&#3*3$735 $:& :63& D"#"%:"& K(*1& K37:(+$*& :6(7 U3@:31H3#-&0"**"97&2"#$:&$7&63&:#$+3*7 A13#(,$&$::31@:(%4&:"&:#$,)&5"9%&$%5 1$##>&^$13*$&A%53#7"%<& 2"#$:& #3@#373%:7& 6(7& 6"13*$%5& $7& $ @*$,3& 963#3& :63& %$:("%$*& 5#(%)& (7& 03#Q

BORAT: Facing an on-screen challenge from Kazakhstan 13%:35&6"#73&?#(%3&$%5&9"13%&#(53&"% :63&"?:7(53&"0&H?737<& D63&A13#(,$%& "@3%(%4& "0& :63& 0(*196(,6& b$N$)67:$%& "00(,($*7& 03$#& 9(** 1$)3& :63(#& ,"?%:#>& (%:"& $& *$?46(%4 7:",)-& ?%0"#:?%$:3*>& ,"(%,(537& ,*"73*> 9(:6& :63& 5$:37& "0& ^#37(53%: '$N$#H$>3+;7&+(7(:&:"&:63&SUA<& D63& 0(*1& 9(**& $*7"& H3& 76"9%& $:& :63 0(0:(3:6&D(137&H0(&G"%5"%&K(*1&K37:(+$* %38:&1"%:6-&963%&:63&^#37(53%:&(7&5?3

Out-Rage

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By Helen Thompson News Editor THE NUS HAS shown its solidarity for the persecuted LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) community in Uganda by holding a demonstration outsid3& the Ugandan embassy in London. D63& @#":37:& 9$7& (%& #37@"%73& :" S4$%5$;7& !"#$ %"&&"' 1$4$N(%396(,6&6$7&#3,3%:*>&H33%&%$1(%4&7:?Q 53%:7&$%5&@#"1(%3%:&0(4?#37&:6$:&:63> H3*(3+3&:"&H3&4$>&"#&*37H($%<& T:63#&:6$%&(%+$5(%4&@#(+$,>-&:6373 ,*$(17&$#3&5$1$4(%4-&$7&(:&(7&,?##3%:Q *>& $& ,#(1(%$*& "003%,3& :"& H3& $& 6"1"Q 738?$*&?%53#&S4$%5$;7&*$9<& U"13& "0& :6"73& :$#43:35& 6$+3& 7?0Q 03#35& 6$#$7713%:& $%5& +("*3%,3& $7& $ #37?*:-& A1%37:>& I%:3#%$:("%$*& 6$7

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Uganda’s rejection of homosexuality

Mother Lisa? DA VINCI’S most famous subject was either pregnant or had recently given birth, laser scanning has revealed. K#3%,6& $%5& L$%$5($%& $#: 38@3#:7& ?735& .M& :3,6%"*"4>& :" 5(7,"+3#& :63& 0(%3& 4$?N3& +3(*& :6$: ,"+3#7&O"%$&G(7$;7&5#377<& O(,63*& O3%?-& "0& :63& K#3%,6 O?73?1;7& L3%:#3& 0"#& P373$#,6 $%5&#37:"#$:("%&7$(5&:6$:&:63&+3(* C9$7&7"13:6(%4&:>@(,$*&0"#&3(:63# 7""%Q:"QH3&"#&%39&1":63#7&$:&:63 :(13<R

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`aa&0"#&H#"$5,$7:(%4&$&:$*)&76"9 6(46*(46:(%4&:63&%335&0"#&=I[ 73#+(,37&0"#&4$>&@3"@*3-&$%5&C"003%5(%4&$ 9(53&73,:("%&"0&:63&@?H*(,<F

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EDITORIAL & OPINION %$&&%&!$' !"#$%&'(#$&)$!"#$!"#$$

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Oh, Mr Sandman IT IS EASY to laugh at the student who was conned into buying a bag of sand for £200, thinking it was a lap top: it’s even easier to say that something like that could never happen to you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

Societies’ Fayre Day IT’S A GREAT shame that last weeks’ Societies’ Fayre was marred by long queues and unbearable heat in the Great Hall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

Booster shots GAIR RHYDD HAS dedicated a huge number of column inches to the poor facilities up at the Heath campus since the merger of Cardiff University and the Royal medicine college that became effective as of August 1 2004. H#>%#$ !4'#3$ !&$ ;2!$ !"#$ ;&&4$ )9('<'F !'#+$ !"9!$ 8#3'(+$ 953$ "#9<!"(94#$ +!2F 3#5!+$"9%#$&5!&$!"#$D5'%#4+'!7>+$96#5F 39$ 953$ "9%#$ (98;9'65#3$ )&4$ 8&4# 8&5#7$!&$@#$'5B#(!#3$'5!&$!"#$(&24+#+ !"9!$94#$@9+#3$9!$!"#$O#9!", P8;4&%#8#5!+$"9%#$@##5$893#$953 Q#3A&($ R4#+'3#5!:$ S9+&5$ T>N#'<<: 4#(&65'+#+$ !"'+$ '5$ !"#$ (&88#5!+$ "# 893#$!&$69'4$4"733,$ O&?#%#4:$ !"#$ 4#+2<!+$ &)$ !"'+$ 7#94>+ N9!'&59<$ A!23#5!$ A24%#7$ ?#4#$ +!'<< 3985'56$953$!"#7$'53'(9!#$!"9!$!"#4#$'+ +!'<<$82(":$82("$8&4#$!"9!$5##3+$!&$@# 3&5#,$ U9('<'!'#+$ 5##3$ !&$ @#$ '8;4&%#3: 8&32<#+$ 5##3$ @#!!#4$ &4695'+9!'&5$ 953 )##3@9(=$ 82+!$ 6'%#5$ '5$ &43#4$ !&$ (&5F +&<'39!#$+!23#5!+> <#945'56$;4&64#++,

OCTOBER.02.2006 OPINION@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Rott a load of bull (dog) !"#$#"%$&'#()#*(+#$&&$,-"#$%%'$.#/0#&1'#2'*/$3#4./,#5/66/$2" 6$2'0&"#78"&#1(9#)$.#"(2'#7(8.0$6/"&"#9/66#+(#)(.#$#",$.'#"&(.:##

ou know there’s not a lot going on when news companies strain to create a scare. One minute it’s fat kids. The next minute it’s thin kids. Then for a few minutes after that it’s asylum seekers and around we go again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Reporters, sports writers, sub-editors, feature-writers, designers, proofreaders, website managers, website designers, interviewers, columnists, come to the Student Media Recruitment Party, October 2nd, 7pm in Solus.

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visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

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EDITORIAL & OPINION

OCTOBER.02.2006 OPINION@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Unnecessary Illusions !"#$%#$&''$()*+$*#++',-.$/0"$1),234/,5$6&77,-#**8$9,::;$!*62"0/+ &".)#*$+6&+ 0)"$<#2&<#-+$2)'+)"#$2&)*#*$)*$+0$'0*#$*,.6+$0/$%6&+$"#&'';$:&++#"*$,-$',/#

e are decadent. We can see this in the way our culture tells us to pursue ideals such as happiness. This is the view democracy lives by, trying to create the largest amount of happiness by promoting pleasure and absolving pain. A noble cause if ever there was one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Want to write for the UKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best student newspaper? Come up and see us on the 4th floor of the Union.

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COMMENT

OCTOBER.02.2006 COMMENT@!"#$!"#$$.COM

!"#$%&'(#) Footballersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; wallets

ts inescapable really. As much as I don't want to write a sports column, after another summer of failing to live up to the footballing hype there have been mumblings about footballers pay which really are worth further discussion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*"+$,"-.('$,-/# 0)&/12'-331$4&5" 1$61'$155&5.'#$(&7# %--3#+$8#5$01&' #3-.8"$5-$')-43 "&/,#(9$&3$ 5--5"(#,,$"--7#),$ J6&,"%&6(-3&8%3%',%8&,%(03&1"*&)(#8 )$(<%'3&*4%'&(&9%',(#-&(0*.-,&,"%-&,"%< 1*.$8-@,&)(<&,"%0&,"(,&0.9">&H"%&)%*5 )$%&,"(,&($$*1&,"%3%&)$(<%'3&,*&7%&'#9" 7%<*-8& ,"%#'& 1#$8%3,& 8'%(03& ('%& ,"% 6(-3:& 0*3,$<& +'*1-& '(,#*-($& ".0(7%#-+3& 9()(7$%& (-8& %-,#,$%8& ,*& 0(2% ,"%#'& *1-& 8%393#*-3& (7*.,& "*1& ,"%< 3)%-8&,"%#'&0*-%<>&

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10 !"#$!"#$$

POLITICS

OCTOBER.02.2006 POLITICS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Contenders to the throne

!"#$%&#'()'*#$+'*"#),#-(.+/0"#1/&2+&/"%+34#5%/+"#1&/*+,"#())*"#.$#6%)#)$%&/#$%.,#$%&#5%.,'&(()/#')7(8#"7''&&8#%+2 By Chris Perkins Political Correspondent

ost summers are completely devoid of anything noteworthy. However, this one has thrown up the unofficial start of the search for our next Prime Minister. !"##"$%&'()#*%+,-(."+/01(*&&"2&/03 40&5(56*5(60($%##(&"5(70(%&(&2470+(89 ."+( #"&'0+( 56*&( 5$0#:0( 4"&56-;( 560 <"#%5%/*#(60*:=$0%'65-(".(>*7"2+(6*:0 70'2&(*#%'&%&'(5604-0#:0-(."+(560(&"$ %&0:%5*7#0(#0*10+-6%<(7*55#0?( @60(1*50(6*-(&"5(700&("..%/%*##=(-05 ."+( )#*%+,-( 10<*+52+0;( =05( 60( 4*=( &"$ .*/0( 10*56( 7=( *( 56"2-*&1( /25-( *&1( 70 ."+/01( 5"( #0*:0( /0+5*%&#=( 70."+0( 560 A*=( 0#0/5%"&-( *&1( 4*=70( 0:0&( 7= B6+%-54*-?( C"40( -*%1( 60( 4%'65( 6*:0 *&&"2&/01(6%-(+0-%'&*5%"&(*5(560(<*+5= /"&.0+0&/0(#*-5($00D;(725(560(4*&($6" 6*-(/#2&'("&(5"(<"$0+(.*+(#"&'0+(56*& $*-( -0&-%7#0( $%##( 6*:0( 5"( -2..0+( 560 -*40(2&1%'&%.%01(0&1(405(7=(@6*5/60+ -%E500&(=0*+-(*'"? F60&(560(/"&50-5(1"0-(*++%:0(."+(560 G"7(".(#0*10+;(1"&,5(0E<0/5(%5(5"(70(560 0*-=( /"+"&*5%"&( ".( )+"$&H( 0:0&( 560 4*&( 6%4-0#.( $"2#1( &"5( $*&5( -2/6( *& *++*&'040&5?( @60( *&5%3)+"$&( 4":040&5( %*#+0*1=('*%&%&'(4"40&524($%56%&(560

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SWEATY: Blair feels the heat as friends and enemies line up for his job

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

The fight for the student vote

By Andy Rennison Political Editor

rom one perspective, the student vote is every politician's nightmare. Your average campus is rife with haughty political opinions that are often fiercely at odds with those at Westminster. And yet at the same time we are a species prone to cases of cynical apathy that keep us at home on polling day. What's an MP to do? R:0+( +0/0&5( 4"&56-( 560( %--20-( ". 6%'60+( 012/*5%"&( 6*:0( #*+'0#=( -#%1( ".. 560(5*7#0;($%56(560(62+#%&'(".(6*&17*'*5( 560( 5"<( ".( '":0+&40&5( '+*77%&'

0:0+=(*:*%#*7#0(60*1#%&0(%&-50*1? )25("2+(&001-(/*&(&0:0+(/"4<#050#= -%&D( %&5"( 560( 1*+D&0--;( 70/*2-0( 0:0+= <*+5=(2&10+-5*&1-(56*5($0(*+0(560("&0$6"( $%##( 70( /"4<#*%&%&'( *7"25( 5604 ."+(560(&0E5(V9(=0*+-? P#*%1(B=4+2(#%5(*(#"/*#%-01(.%+0(#*-5 $00D( 7=( *&&"2&/%&'( 56*5( %.( 560= *--2401(<"$0+(%&(A*=,-(0#0/5%"&-(560= $"2#1(<+"<"-0(<*=%&'("..(560(.%+-5(.%:0 =0*+-( ".( #"*&( +0<*=40&5-( ."+( -5210&5$6"('+*12*50(*&1(560&('"("&(5"($"+D %&(F*#0-?( F%56( 56%-( /"4%&'( *4%1( 560( 627727 ".(<*+5=(/"&.0+0&/0(-0*-"&;(%5(<+"4<5560( W20-5%"&( ".( $6%/6( :"50( /2++0&5#= +0<+0-0&5-( 560( 70-5( <"--%7#0( 10*#( ."+

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

PERPLEXED: Casting your student vote can be a tricky decision, even with Boris involved

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!"#$!"#$$

LETTERS

OCTOBER.02.2006 LETTERS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com It’s the second week and university life is starting to lose its appeal aready for some very agitated Cardiff students. But don’t worry, gr letters page is the perfect place to let off steam about the things that are bugging you.

Another trip to the union, another bag full of colourful cardboard. Obviously we, as students, are too stupid to simply look at the huge posters on the many notice boards in the union and halls of residence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

Noisy gits! I thought that seeing as most of the people living in Cathays are students, there would be a common decency regarding behaviour on your way home from a night out.

public law: i cant believe this guy’s wearin stripes and squares together! We are all university students, can people who write letters learn how to use apostrophes... A certain internet company (rhymes with empty hell) are large scale ass rapists! Die!

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

Favouritism for freshers First week back to university after a long summer and I don’t have a clue what’s going on. And this is my third time round! Was it just me or was enrolment really confusing this year for second and third years? B::#?#3&%#*"$)#)-#5"#+&*#)3"#)(6*)7 ;(""$#2-(5#&$%#&#.(,"2#:"))"(#)"::,$;#5" )-#:--4#-$#)3"#$")8#9&7."#?P5#-:%#2&*3= ,-$"%# .6)# ?P%# 3&'"# 0("2"(("%# &# 2"+ 0&;"*#0-*)"%#)-#5"#)"::,$;#5"#"@&1):7

What u call a fit girl in engineering?...Lost! name! Idiots We are all university students, can people who write texts learn how to use question marks? Would anyone pay 2500 quid to wee on amy’s head? crazy lke a monkey

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Leaflet overload

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."!!"/%01%!2"%3""4 Dodgy fig-picking landlords New year, same old story. In spite of our elected officials claiming that they would take measures to clean up the sordid state of Cardiff student housing market, still the crooks continue to prey on poor students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12 !"#$!"#$$

MEDIA

OCTOBER.02.2006 MEDIA@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Mobooed Beyonce

!""#$%&#"&#'()*#*""#+(),-#.(&#*&%/)%*0%/*12#/3145+"(&)#63&3#%+)3/*#$&"7#*51)#,3%&8)#9.:. %6%&;)<#)5"61/4#01**03#1/*3&3)*#%/;#2"771*73/*<#;3)=1*3#+31/4#/"71/33)#%/;#61//3&)> Nadia Bonjour Deputy Media Editor

fter the MTV awards and the Mercury awards, it is time for the ‘music of black origin’ awards, better know as the Mobos. However, the absence of five of the winners dampened moods. After all, if the artists and winners above all do not attend or show any interest, then why should we, the public, take any interest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`*29#2'*#*)*,0,1#7%%,#2%%/#(#2&3, "%3#2'*#-%372?# A*#7(-#%&3#23(,7(2.(,20:#,*01'+%&37 2(/*# '%8*# (# 7*30*7# %"# (-(357# -02'# 2'* .0/*7# %"# I.(:/# Z$*5# =*(79# >*(,# =(&.9 I*$%,:a# (,5# +%$"30*,5# b($Gc9# -'% 2%1*2'*3# 7:%%6*5# &6# 2'3**# D%+%7? <%-*)*39#2'*#(+7*,:*#%"#(..#2'*7*#-0,G ,*37#76%0.2#2'*#*)*,0,1#"%3#2'*#(&50*,:*9 -'%#(7#(#3*7&.2#+%%*5#I*$%,:a#"%3#,%2 2&3,0,1#&6? _*7602*#,%2#'()0,1#2'*#1.%+(.#7&::*77 %"# 2'*# .0/*7# %"# D@d9# %,*# -%&.5# '()*

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new media battle has broken out in London as two media moguls, Rupert Murdoch’s thelondonpaper and the Associated Newspaper’s London Lite, have simultaneously issued two free newspapers. These newspapers are supposed to save the slowly dying print media with a new generation of newspapers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

JAY Z & BEYONCE: Damn, they’re still hot 5(35#%"#"3**#,*-76(6*37?# @'*#3*(7%,#"%3#2'07#'*(2*5#:%86*20G 20%,# (,5# +%8+(358*,2# %"# 8(2*30(.# 07 2'*# 7.%-.$# 5*:.0,0,1# 630,2# 8*50(9 -'0:'#-%330*7#6&+.07'*37#-%3.5-05*?#!2 07# 03%,0:# 2'(2# 2'*# I30207'# ,*-76(6*37 -*(/*,#2'*03#%-,#+&70,*77#+$#.(&,:'G 0,1# "3**# -*+702*79# -'0:'# :%,2(0,# 2'* 7(8*# (8%&,2# %"# ,*-7# (7# 2'*03# 630,2*5 :%60*7?#I&2#2'*$#'()*#2%#"%..%-#2'07#)03G 2&(.#23*,5#0,#%35*3#2%#7&3)0)*#0,#2'*#"(72 5*)*.%60,1#8*50(#0,5&723$?#

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

!"#$!"#$$

HEALTH

OCTOBER.02.2006 HEALTH@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Know your breasts !"#$%&'"(#)'*+&%#!,'%&*&""#-.*(/#0&12*"3#4&'5(/ ('6&"#'#5..6#'(#(/& 7'+("#'*8#7219%&"#"9%%.9*82*1#(/&#"&+.*8#0211&"(#6255&%#.7#$%2(2"/#,.:&*

breast cancer cases occur in postmenopausal women.. * Around 8,200 pre-menopausal women are diagnosed with the disease each year.

By Liz Stauber Health Editor

he UK has one of the highest death rates from breast cancer in the world.

Gender: * Women are most likely to develop breast cancer; men can develop breast cancer but it is rare. * Roughly 300 men are diagnosed each year. * Approximately 90 men a year die from breast cancer.

What is breast cancer? The human body is made up of billions of building blocks called cells. There are natural systems within the body, which regulate the formation, growth and death of the cells in a controlled way, to produce and replace the body's tissue. If something disrupts this controlled process, the cells divide and develop without their normal control and grow into a lump called a tumour. Tumours are either benign or malignant; cancer is the name given to a malignant tumour. Breast cancer occurs when this control process fails in the cells that make up the breast tissue and they develop into a tumour. If the tumour is detected early on, then there is a good chance it can be treated successfully. The more the cancer has spread, the more difficult it is to treat. It is important to be aware and know what is normal for you.

Statistics and breast cancer facts In the UK: * Breast cancer is the most common cancer and accounts for nearly one in three of all cancers in women. * One woman in nine will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. * Breast cancer is the second biggest cause of death from cancer in women. Every year: * Over 41,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. * Around 13,000 women will die from breast cancer.

Family history: Around five to ten per cent of breast cancer cases are due to inheriting faulty genes. A significant family history generally means on one side of their family (Mother or Father):

Hormones: * The life time exposure to the female hormone oestrogen, which is found naturally in the body, plays an important role in the development of breast cancer.

MAMMOGRAM: one way of detectng breast cancer.

Every month: * Nearly 3,500 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. * Over 1000 women will die from breast cancer. Survival rates: The rates of survival are improving. Of women who were diagnosed with breast cancer in England and Wales between 1996 and 1999, 77 percent were alive five years later, compared with 68 percent of women diagnosed between 1986 and 1990. For women diagnosed in Scotland

Be breast aware

o be breast aware means becoming more familiar with how your breasts look and feel. Know what is normal for you. Woman of all ages should be aware of the normal appearance and texture of their breasts It is important to understand that your breasts may change at different times of the month, or as you get older. Once you're aware of what's normal for you, it's important to look out for changes in your breasts.

and Northern Ireland between 1996 and 1999, the five year survival rates are 80 and 82 percent respectively. Risks: Anything which influences a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s risk of developing breast cancer over their life time is called a risk factor. Breast cancer is a very complex disease caused by interactions between genes, environment and lifestyle and although there have been great advances in our knowledge of the risk factors involved in breast cancer, it is not yet fully understood what causes

the disease or how it could be prevented. Having one or more risk factors does not necessarily mean you will develop breast cancer. Additionally, some risk factors are out of an individualâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s control, which includes being a woman and growing older. Others are life style choices and an informed decision should be made by the individual by comparing the risks against the benefits to their lifestyle. Age: * Age is the biggest risk factor. * Approximately 80 percent of all

A simple guide as to how to check for irregularities LOOK: * Look for any unusual changes to your breasts or nipples. FEEL: * Feel your breasts and surrounding area for anything that is not normally there. * Report any changes that you find to your doctor as soon as possible.

Treatment: Once referred by your doctor to a hospital with symptoms, a series of tests will be carried out called a triple assessment. This process allows a more detailed diagnosis, which ensures that if cancer is detected the most suitable treatment is given. This includes: * Clinical (physical examination) * Breast imaging (mammography or ultra sound) * Fine needle aspiration or needle core biopsy. Each breast cancer diagnosis will be different and patients are individually assessed to receive the best treatment for them. This will normally include a combination of all, or some of the following: surgery, radiotherapy, or drug therapy in any order.

For more information Visit: www.breastcancercampaign.org www.breastcancercare.org.uk www.bbc.co.uk/health www.breastcancer.org www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk Contact: Breast Cancer Campaign, Clifton Centre, 110 Clifton Street, London EC2A4HT

14 !"#$!"#$$

INTERVIEWS

OCTOBER.02.2006

The Noble man

INTERVIEWS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

!"#$%&'#()*+$,*-#.$.&'#$,)'#$&/,$,&$,*0-$,& !"#$ %&'(&') 1)%&0*$2#+*3# Growing up

!"##$%&#$'(()$*(+,"+-.)/ #0&)123*$#.)4($&**(&+.)/$.)$%.# 5"4&5$4"-(16$453'$&0$0%($&/($", 789$:(#*.0($5.4()#.)/$5&;#$0%&0 *+"%.'.0(1$%.-$;"+<.)/$0%(+( &)1$,"+4(1$%.-$0"$5(&=( 0%+"3/%$0%($<.04%()9$>"-.)/ ,+"-$>+&-5.)/0")?$&$0";) 13''(1$@0%($350.-&0($.)$13552 )(##?@$;%.4%$%(5*(1$%.-$;.0% %.#$4&+((+9

Awards A($%&#$'(4"-($<)";)$&#$&) (B4.0.)/$&)1$"+./.)&5$*(+,"+-(+ &)1$%&#$+(4(.=(1$%3/($4+.0.4&5 &445&.-9$C%($&;&+1#$%($%&# +(4(.=(1$&+($&$D(++.(+$E;&+1 )"-.)&0.")$.)$7FFF$,"+$%.# G1.)'3+/%$H(#0.=&5$#%"; !"#$% &'() &)1$&$C.-($I30$&;&+1$.) JKKK$,"+$&)"0%(+$G1.)'3+/% #%";$*+,-.$/0"#1$%9$A($%&# &4%.(=(1$/+(&0$*"*35&+.06$.) '"0%$0%($LM$&)1$E3#0+&5.&? ;%(+($%($%&#$0"3+(1$(B0()#.=(2 56$(=(+6$6(&+$#.)4($JKK79

TV Talent

A($%&#$&**(&+(1$")$-&)6$CN #%";#$.)$E3#0+&5.O&$#34%$&# 2$13'%.45$/6#47'8$ PQ.=(R? 5+$ 9"/$:?$&)1$0%($ES>T#$5+$ ;:"##+'<#$ &)1$=>,-.#4"/? =>$-.#@ &)1$.)$0%($LM$") SS>T#$A'+//(4B"<C+"/45'/,C+1 &)1$D%,?"(42,C+143,1+ A'/"1+"/47'##9$U"'5($%&#$&5#" &**(&+(1$")$A&=($E4;'142$3# D'%4F'< &)1$%&#$%"#0(1$!&1." VT#$#0&)1$3*$#%";$G4H145+$ =1'%$I4C%($4"-(1.&)W#$;"+512 ;.1($0+&=(5#$&#$&$#0&)123*$;(+( 0%($#3'X(40$",$%.#$";)$SS> !&1."$V$#(+.(#$7'##42'J:$ ;'$#4;:'J":) *+"134(1$'6 :&))6$Y&55&4(9

“

I am on tour at the moment. C%( 0"3+$.#$4&55(1 D,LL(4!'C,-9$^0$.#$/".)/ +(&5556$;(559$_"$,&+$.0W#$'(()$'+.52 5.&)09$E'#"530(56$,.+#0$45&##9$^0$1(,.2 ).0(56$/(0#$'(00(+$(=(+6$0.-($6"3$/" ")$0"3+9$^0$4")#.#0#$",$&55$-6 ,&="3+.0($=()3(#$'&4<$0"$'&4<9 C%(+($.#$)"$#*(4.,.4$,&="3+.0($,"+ -(9$I'=."3#56$;%()$^$*5&6$&0 U(;4&#05($0%(+($.#$#"-(0%.)/$#*(2 4.&5$&'"30$0%&0$'(4&3#($.0W#$-6 %"-(0";)$'30$^$5"=($&55$0%($=()3(# ")$0%.#$0"3+9$$ I always improvise when doing stand up.C%&0W#$0%($;&6$^$;"+<9$^ 0%.)<$.0W#$.-*"+0&)0$)"0$0"$4()#"+ 6"3+#(5,`$1")W0$%&=($&)6$'"3)1&+.(#9 C%($.-*+"=.#&0.")&5$#065($-(&)# 0%&0$(&4%$#%";$=&+.(#$()"+-"3#569 S30$0%&0W#$;%&0W#$/""1$&'"30$.09 I0%(+;.#($^W1$45.-'$0%($;&55#9 If I had to give anyone advice about doing stand up ^$;"351$#&6 X3#0$&55";$6"3+#(5,$0"$a/"$;.0%$0%( ,5";b$1")W0$'&4<$6"3+#(5,$.)0"$&$4"+2 )(+9$ Loads of unusual stuff has happened on this tour9$^0$%&#$-&1( +(&556$/""1$4")0()0$,"+$-6$-&0(+.&59 C%(+($%&=($'(()$#"-($/+(&0$#0"+.(#` 0%(+(W=($'(()$#"-($-&1$")(#c$E ,./%0$'+"<($"30$.)$G1.)'3+/% '(0;(()$&$-&)$&)1$;"-&)9$C%&0

X3#0$'(4&-($0%($#%";c$G=(+6$)./%0 0%(+($&+($1.,,(+()0$0%.)/#$0%&0$%&*2 *()$#"$)"$#%";$.#$(=(+$0%($#&-(9 I never really worry about whether I will be able to improvise on the night. ^0$.#$)"0$;"+0% .09$d"3$-&6$&#$;(55$#0&)1$0%(+($&)1 ;"++6$0%&0$&$*.&)"W#$/"))&$,&55$,+"0%($#<6$"+$0%&0$6"3W55$/(0$#0+34<$'6 5./%0).)/c$C%(+(W#$)"$*".)0$0%.)<.)/ &'"30$.0$3)0.5$.0$%&**()#9$E)1$.,$.0 (=(+$1"(#$X3#0$1(&5$;.0%$.0$&0$0%( 0.-(9$$ I get inspiration for more prepared material from all sorts of things. _03,,$0%&0$%&#$%&**()(1$0" -(`$#03,,$0%&0$^W=($#(()$.)$0%($*&*(+` 0%.)/#$0%&0$*("*5($%&=($0"51$-(` "'#(+=&0.")#`$0%.)/#$.)$0%($&31.()4( 0%&0$0%()$5(&1$")$0"$#"-(0%.)/$(5#(9 ^0$+(&556$4&)$4"-($,+"-$&)6;%(+(9 C%&0W#$*&+0$",$0%($;%"5($0%.)/$",$)"0 '&4<.)/$6"3+#(5,$.)0"$0""$-34%$",$& 4"+)(+9$Q(&=.)/$6"3+#(5,$"*()$0"$&)6 .1(&#9 ^-&/.)&0.")$.#$0%($<(69$ The great thing about stand-up is that you don’t have to write it down or run it by anyone, it just comes out. U"0%.)/$.#$&#$.)#0&)0$&# #0&)1$3*9$^0$5.=(#$.)$0%&0$-"-()0$&)1 0%()$.0W#$/")(9$E)1$0%&0W#$;%&0$^ 5"=($&'"30$.09$

Standing up A.#$JKKZ$#%"; K/%$":1,0$ ;&# 0%($",,.4.&5$'(#02#(55.)/$#%";$&0 0%($G1.)'3+/%$H+.)/(?$'(,"+( 0+&)#,(++.)/$0"$Q")1")T#$Y(#0 G)1$,"+$&$-")0%25")/$#(&#")$&0 0%($[&++.4<$C%(&0+($;%(+($.0 *5&6(1$0"$*&4<(1$%"3#(#9$E +(4"+1.)/$",$0%.#$0"3+$;&# #%";)$")$SS>$C;"$.)$JKKV? &)1$&$1"3'5($:N:$#(0$;&# +(5(&#(1$5&0(+$0%&0$6(&+9

Settling down

U"'5($-&++.(1$&)$E3#0+&5.&) 4&55(1$H+&)$P#%"+0$,"+ H+&)4.)(R?$;%"-$%($")4( 45&.-(1$;&#$&$\&.5$I+1(+ S+.1($;%.5#0$0&5<.)/$")$SS>$] \3#.4$.)$JKK]9$Q.005($.#$<)";) &'"30$H+&)$U"'5($0%"3/%$U"'5( 4")#0&)056$+(,(+#$0"$@-6$;.,(@ 0%+"3/%"30$%.#$#%";#$&)1$&)(42 1"0(#9$ ^)$E*+.5$JKK]?$!"##$;&# .)="5=(1$.)$&$-"0"+'.<($&44.2 1()0?$,+&403+.)/$&)1$1.#5"4&0.)/ %.#$4"55&+'")(9$>")=().()056$%( 4+&#%(1$+./%0$"30#.1($&$%"#*.0&59 !"##$*(+,"+-(1$%.#$#%";#$"=(+ 0%($,"55";.)/$;((<#$;.0%$%.# &+-$.)$&$#5.)/9

I first got involved in the whole scene when myself and a friend started doing a street show. ^ &5#"$1.1$<.1#W *&+0.(#$&)1$#03,,9$^0 X3#0$(="5=(1$,+"-$0%(+(9$^$3#(1$0"$1" /./#$.)$*3'#$&)1$4"-(16$453'#9$^ (=()$1.1$/./#$.)$4.+43#$0()0#c$M.1#W *&+0.(#$;(+($0%($+(&5$)./%0-&+(9$E +""-$,355$",$1+3)<$*("*5($%(51$)" ,(&+$,"+$-(c$ I wouldn’t say my stage persona is that different from my real one. I)$#0&/($.0W#$*+(006$-34%$X3#0 -(9$C%"3/%$^$1")W0$+3)$&+"3)1$&# -34%$",,$#0&/(9$C%&0W#$0%($(B4.0(2 -()0$,"+$6"39$C%($#&-($;&6$&#$., 6"3$#&;$\.4<$e&//(+$")$0%($#0+((0? %($;"351)W0$'($0%(+($45&**.)/$%.# %&)1#$&0$(=(+6'"169$ I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t got into comedy. ^,$^$;&#)W0$1".)/$4"-(16$^ ;"351$*+"'&'56$X3#0$;"+<$.)$&$-3#.4 #%"*$"+$#"-(0%.)/9 If I consider where I see myself in ten years time it hopefully won’t be that different from where I am now. E 5"0$",$4"-(1.2

”

&)#$4&)W0$;&.0$0"$<)"4<$#0&)123*$") 0%($%(&1$'30$^$;&))&$#0.55$'($1".)/ #0&)123*$;%()$^W-$]K9$C%&0$;"351 '($0%($350.-&0($,"+$-(9$_0&)123*$.# ;%&0$^$5"=(9

Check out Fizzy Logic at St. David’s Hall on October 2. Details of all other live dates and tour DVDs can be found on Noble’s website: www.rossnoble.co m

!"#$!"#$$

JOBS & MONEY

OCTOBER.02.2006 JOBS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

What’s that coming over the hill? - student debt !"#$%&%'"()* +"",%-.%/-01(2%3)24))%"5%3)#.6%)78+"41(2%./) 3"$%-(3%3"(9.$%"5%#:32).1(2 By Gillian Roberts Jobs & Money Editor

ccording to the National Union of Students, (NUS), a three year course can lead graduates having a debt of more than £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`'(2-)(#/-("#(+"1'0#420,')$%,#1/( "%-8# )/='%# 23# 48# RYT# ";# )+'# ()20'%)( /(='05# ?$.-(# -'/0# )+'# ;$'-0# 1$)+# ^UT /,/$%()#RRT#";#4"8(#1+"#420,')5

Bite the budgeting bullet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DON’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

Useful Information: National Debt line: 08088 084 000 or www.nationaldebtline.co.uk Government information on student finance: http://www.direct.gov.uk/EducationAndLearning/ UniversityAndHigherEducation/StudentFinance/fs/en Student Finance Wales: 0845 602 8845 Budgeting Calculators: http://www.aimhigher.ac.uk/student_finance/ cost_of_living_calculator.cfm http://www.ucas.ac.uk/studentfinance/costs/cost.html http://img.thisismoney.co.uk/calculators/ calcStudentBudget.html

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury

Low confidence in future jobs By Gillian Roberts Jobs & Money Editor

recent survey has claimed that students today are less confident with obtaining a job post-graduation. 6 .'(2-)#3."&$%,#*27+#-"1'.#)+/%#$% )+'#3/()#0'7/0'5 A)20'%)(# (2.&'8'0# 7-/$*'0# )"# 4' /33-8$%,#;".#(/;'.#M"4#"3)$"%(#(27+#/( /77"2%)/%78:#;$%/%7'#/%0#'%,$%''.$%,5 C/.)$%# J$.7+/-:# )+'# A2.&'8( !$.'7)".#(/$0:#OA)20'%)(D 7"%;$0'%7'#$( -"1'.#%"1#)+/%#/)#/%8#)$*'#$%#)+'#3/()

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16 !"#$!"#$$

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

OCTOBER.02.2006 SCIENCE@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Branson goes green !"#$%&$%#$'()$#*+$,((-$('$#*+$./01+#$()$0$,)+0#$2"&%1+&&$(..()#"1%#34 By Ceri Morgan Science & Environment Editor

ir Richard Branson is to invest $3bn (ÂŁ1.6bn) in the fight against global warming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TELEVISION

OCTOBER.02.2006 TV@!"#$!"#$$.COM

This Weeks Birds amongst the Turds: October 2nd-8th 2006

Coles-law Violation For Knuckle-head Sand-Switch TV Desk Gets Sticky With Dickinson, Dicks and Prickly Sticks

HOT

Living like a student: You lousy scrubbers, you don’t know how good you’ve got it. So... stop pissing it away down the drains on Macintosh place, you bunch of fucks, and save your loan for your rent afer your parents kick you out, you finacé leaves you, you get fired etc.

Soaps The thing about the Radio Times is that it only gives you info about Coronation Street, Eastenders, Emmerdale and The Archers. Which means no Hollyoaks and no Neighbours, which means NO POINT!! So, no sneaky peaks into plot lines then, BUT apparently it is worthwhile wasting half a page on the cast lists, the only point of which must be to make your time spent on google image search a bit easier. Anyway, Coronation Street’s alright, and this week the manatee of love, Fred Elliott is put in an awkward position (involving handcuffs and baby oil I assume) when old flame Audrey tells him she regrets not romancing him. I’m still debating whether that’s a typo, and maybe ‘romancing’ is meant to read ‘lancing’.

ello. TV shows these days seem to be going out of their way to either be overly explicit with their titles or enigmatically vague. Take for instance, Monday night, we have a real clash-of-theTitans-esque dilemma. only not, because Titans are a fat-arsed Yankee-doodle football squad chuffing over Denzil Washington’s bunkum-flossed chin scrapings, and these are just goggle-wanked titually-gonzo actually-very-boring yawn-oramas. But with jaw-dropping titles like The World’s Biggest Penis (Monday Ch4 11pm) and Knifemares (Also Monday five, 11pm) who’s complaining? Well I am. For the enigma enthusiasts, that is, the sort of dunder-faced cuntstuffer who thinks Dan Brown is up there with the World War Two Homing Pigeon fiasco in the top quality code-gobbler stake, Knifemares poses many a question. Mainly, how has a Van Damme or Steven Seagal not been made with the same title yet? Secondly what possible blade-slash-blood high adrenaline thrills could possibly be lurking under the moniker Knifemares? I’m sure I’m not the only bloodthirsty rottweiler with a hankering for baby food upon first sighting the title. Sadly, like

Fudge Tunnel 76

an inverse Bible, the fruity frolics within don’t match the cover. This is about tedious filthy rich snobbish fack-maggots who have nothing better to do with their miserable lives except shoot slaves, have cosmetic surgery and dangle their wangs over their koi carp pond for jollys. Since two of those don’t involve knives, this is sixtyodd minutes of not-very-exciting people having their buttock-fat stapled to their tongues. Only not quite. So to the other side of the coin, the matter-o’-fact THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE WATCHING approach. The World’s Biggest Penis falls at the first hurdle sadly, because obviously the worlds biggest penis

belongs to Leeroy the Killer Whale the first time he saw Ariel the Little Mermaid changing her tail. But this is more concerned with the worlds biggest penis belonging to a bug-eyed Friday night wanker party spokesmodel, the sort of grease-dribbling fuckjaw who doesn’t deserve to even have a penis, let alone one that could hold up a bucket of warm milk. Still, you can think on the sly that maybe Channel 4 are in on the joke and this is just an hour long documentary about that bald cunt off Mock the Week (Thurs, BBC2 10pm) Who looks like a big great knob. Not just because he’s bald. Actually, yeah, because he has a big ugly shiny bell-end stuck on the top of his neck. Speaking of Mock the Week, this isn’t a shit version of Have I Got News For You with panels clogged up with dangerously unfunny stand-ups let loose from their toilet-circuit mug shot chambers on television once a week at all, is it? How hum, what else is there? David Dickenson finds out he’s related to bonkers sun-fried Turks and eccentric Civil War American buggers in Who Do You Think You Are? (Wednesday BBC1 9pm), another show which doesn’t use celebrities to prop up it’s dismal concept at all. Mmmm? xxx

DVDS TO RENT/BUY United 93 is out and not nice at all. You should buy it. I think I ended up half way between traumatised and feeling like I was going to be sick. I felt guilty eating sweets in the cinema when I watched this, which for anyone who has no discernable facial features, is a reconstruction of the events of September 11th 2001, in particulary the goings on on the actual flight, as well as the terminal air-jargon that went on in the control centres. I won't dwell, because it's hard to be critical of what's essentially the truth. But I will anyway i.e. the terrorists look like Eastenders’ shortlived Ferrera family. No, not just because they’re Asian you racist. It's worth pointing out that having watched a million Hollywood executives around a banquet table debating through a series of think-tanks, brainwaves, commit-

tee meetings, and a team of five kazillion writers, cinematographers and bumfisted actors and directors come up with The Omen, it's a reminder that no matter what the cost and efforts put into a big scary movie, nothing will ever be more terrifying that what people can do to each other in real life.

NOT

The Real World It’s like taking the ‘smaller’ pill in Alice in Wo n d e r l a n d . Instead of being the toast of student town, you now have to face a world of sneering dominant boot-licking toss-arsed managers and supervisors, who’ll kick your ass if you even look at them funny. It’s no joke.

Film The film of the book that ruined parties for me forever is shown on Channel Four this Wednesday at 11.05pm. Everything has been a let down since reading The Rules Of Attraction as I’ve never got to watch somebody hang themself using a neck tie and a light fitting. Oh how I wish I was at college in 1980s New England.

Sport Novelty sport ahoy, as five brings us Celtic v Liverpool: the Legends (Wednesday, 7.30). Utterly pointless ‘friendly match’ which will only be saved if John Barnes spends a third of the match playing for Celtic, a third for Liverpool and the last thirty minutes as the pitchside correspondant. Bit of exercise for ‘Choccy’ McClair though. Thup.

Radio Desert Island Discs returns to airwaves this week, newly presented by famed music buff Kirsty Young. I’m not going to write about the program, because it’s inevitably going to be dull with politicians and uninteresting TV celebrities informing us they like the same music as your dad. So instead, I’m going to plough the old TV Desk furrow of self indulgence and list some of my desert island discs. Like so... Dig Me Out - SleaterKinney, Slanted and Enchanted Pavement, The Power Out Electrelane, Any Other City - Life Without Buildings, The Italian Flag - Prolapse, Poor Aim: Love Songs The Blow, Fabulous Muscles - Xiu Xiu, Taking The Rough With The Smooch - Huggy Bear. Fin.

18 !"#$!"#$$

MONDAY

OCTOBER.02.2006 TV@!"#$!"#$$.COM

BBC1 1.50am

7*8*$'9/$39/4* :+$4*#,'BBC2 7pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm Lazytown 3:50pm Watch My Chops 4:05pm Crush 4:30pm Kerching! 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2006 7:30pm The Welsh Way of Life Get prepared for the Welsh National Dish: Cheese on Toast. 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Rogue Traders 9:00pm Spooks 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Graham Norton's Bigger Picture All down hill since Father Ted to be honest. 11:15pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 11:45pm Dog Day Afternoon Al Pacino takes a bank hostage to pay for his "wife's" operation. I say his wife. He needs the money to pay for his gay lover’s sex operation. 1:50am Sign Zone:Al Qaeda: Turning the Terrorists Just look at the picture, thaasali’msayin’. 2:50am Sign Zone:Home 3:50am Sign Zone:To Buy or Not to Buy BUY!! 4:35am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Time Warp Trio 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 9:00am Autumnwatch 9:30am Me Too! 9:50am Gordon the Garden Gnome 10:00am Big Cook Little Cook 10:20am Pingu 10:30am BBC Primary Arabic 10:50am Social Inclusion Dramas 11:10am The Maths Channel - Year 4 11:20am The Maths Channel - Year 5 11:30am The Conservative Party Conference 1:00pm What? Where? When? Why? TV Desk. gair rhydd towers. Thursday 28th - 7.57pm. Doing it for the money (/pizza).1:15pm Something Special 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm The Flying Gardener 2:15pm The Conservative Party Conference 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Extreme Dreams with Ben Fogle 7:00pm Seven Man-Made Wonders 7:30pm York Minster 8:00pm Autumnwatch 9:00pm Nuremberg - Nazis on Trial This week the Nazis are caught dogging ...again. 10:00pm Kath and Kim 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm The Worst Job in British Politics? The Leader of the Opposition - BBC4 on BBC2 12:20am Joins BBC News 24 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:Talk German 2:30am Germany Inside Out 5:00am Work Talk: Germany

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women filth 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Meg and Mog 3:05pm Pocoyo 3:15pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:30pm Jungle Run This is brilliant. It’s 4:00pm My Parents are Aliens 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Sharon Osbourne Show - X Factor Special Oh good, Mrs O (as in Mrs OhNo!) talks about her other program on her god awful chat show. Genius. Though nothing could compete with You Say We Pay. 6:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Life Begins 10:00pm The Complete Guide to Parenting Find out how to beat your kids without getting caught. 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm A Date with Destiny 11:30pm The Guest List 12:00am Tonight with Trevor McDonald: Bingedrinking Babies This is a documentary on The Complete Guide to Parenting and its inevitable resounding sucess. 12:25am ITV Play: The Mint 4:35am I Want That House 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond Except Gandhi. He only likes halloumi. And small children... 8:25am Will and Grace Find out whether TV Graces’ drunken dancing in Manchester has exed Dean in a flummox. 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:30am The Deadly Knowledge Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Third Watch 1:25pm Boy on a Dolphin 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: RIBA Stirling Prize 2006 8:00pm Dispatches: Burma's Secret War Way to ruin a secret. Unless everyone’s watching Fifth Gear. 9:00pm Celebrity Wife Swap 10:00pm Without a Trace 11:00pm The World's Biggest Penis A documentary about a film editor that looks like Russell Brand who embarks to the society fayre, joining both the Sci-Fi and role-playing clubs.12:00am Party Poker.com Late Night Poker Ace 1:05am The Dead Zone If you’re sad enough to miss the fun that is factory, then maybe dead people are for you. 1:50am Me, My Dad and Moorgate 2:50am Indian Finishing School 1 5:20am Maths Mansion

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Franny's Feet 8:45am Bird Bath 8:55am My First... 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Hart to Hart: Home Is Where the Hart Is 3:35pm Mary Higgins Clark's Lucky Day A TV film with some good twists. Check it out... (A brief interception from TV Gareth here. TV newby TV Ryan is a film fan. This means that often his observations on films will not be completely unfunny sarcasm like the rest of ours. Still hard to forgive him for using the expression “check it out”.5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm Fifth Gear 9:00pm Extraordinary People: The 4 Year Old Who Ran 40 Miles 10:00pm Banged Up Abroad 11:00pm Knifemares This week our inhouse serial killer murders ugly women. He could be decribed as an angry surgeon...on crack. 12:00am The Joan Rivers Position 12:30am NFL Live: The Monday Night Game 4:50am Copa Recopa Cup ReCup.

7:00pm Wedding Stories 8:00pm Say No to the Knife 9:00pm Trauma Uncut 9:30pm Trauma Uncut 10:00pm EastEnders 10:25pm Spooks 11:25pm Little Miss Jocelyn 11:55pm Trauma Uncut 12:25am Trauma Uncut 12:55am Wedding Stories 1:50am The Body of Marilyn Monroe 2:50am Say No to the Knife Assuming this means plastic surgery rather than scandinavian electro duo The Knife, as they’re pretty awesom-o. So yeh, hello one and all. First TV Desk back, what a depressing thought. There is months of this shite to come. If you’d like to be involved in this weekly bollocks then come to Solus on Monday at 7pm, where yours truly will be standig onstage with a microphone telling you to come write for us. Not really through want, but through duty. The bars will be open so hopefully that will be a small incentive/consolation. A moment of glory now however, as TV John has arrived in the office as a guest. He’s

7:00pm 10 Things You Didn't Know About Volcanoes I’m betting there are more than ten things I don’t know about Volcanoes. Good news for the BBC ‘cause that means they can string a whole series out of this. I also know very little about earthquakes and how to seduce women, so the possibilities are seemingly endless. 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Perfect Village Would be big enough to be a city. 9:00pm Reader, I Married Him 10:00pm Storyville: Prostitution behind the Veil 10:55pm Forty Minutes On 11:55pm The Perfect Village 12:25am Reader, I Married Him 1:25am Cast and Crew 2:05am Storyville: Prostitution behind the Veil 3:00am Forty Minutes On adamant that he won’t be persuaded to assist in writing this balls, but he will be persuaded. I will bribe him with Decemberists trivia or something. Over and out.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am Emmerdale 10:50am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:40am Judge Judy 12:00pm Coronation Street 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm The Montel Williams Show 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Coronation Street Secrets 8:30pm Click UK Premiere Special 9:00pm Hell's Kitchen USA 10:00pm Ladette to Lady 11:00pm Coronation Street

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Lily Allen 8:00am Wake Up with... Lily Allen 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 9:30am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but... Cheese 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 12:55pm Vodafone TBA 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Lost 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland Arf! 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Hollyoaks: In the City There’s a thousand things they want to say to you. 10:00pm Wife Swap: The Aftermath 10:30pm Dying Young 12:40am Star Stories 1:10am Invasion 2:00am Hollyoaks: In the City 3:00am Star Stories 3:25am Queer as Folk 4:20am The OC 5:00am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:30am The Deadly Knowledge Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm Demolition 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm Friends 6:30pm The Simpsons 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Ffermio 9:00pm Natur Anghyfreithlon 10:00pm Sgorio 11:05pm Celebrity Wife Swap 12:05am The War at Home 12:35am Dispatches 1:35am World Superbikes 2:30am The Dead Zone 3:15am 4Music: Diesel-U-Music Awards 2006 4:00am Star Maths 1 4:10am Star Maths 1 5:20am Maths Mansion

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OCTOBER.02.2006 TV@!"#$!"#$$.COM

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BBC3 9.30pm

five 3.40pm

S4C 1.15pm

channel 4 12.30pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm Lazytown 3:50pm Watch My Chops 4:05pm Crush 4:30pm Kerching! 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours I don’t watch Neighbours for just one week and all of a sudden Bree’s a freaking goth! I’m guessing all that black lipstick and the stupid wig are just attempts to cover her irritating acting style. And that other kid, her boyfriend is a goth too, oh my life, is this just a fancy dress episode or what? Confused is me. 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Watchdog 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Holby City 9:00pm The Amazing Mrs Pritchard 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Week In, Week Out 11:05pm Skint 11:35pm Eye of the Beholder 1:35am A Week of Dressing Dangerously includes the latest skirts made of out of knives, machete accessories, noose-style necklaces and boots with spikes sticking out the sides.2:05am Sign Zone:Animal Rescue 2:35am Sign Zone:To Buy or Not to Buy 3:20am Joins BBC News

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Time Warp Trio 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 9:00am Autumnwatch 9:30am Me Too! 9:50am Gordon the Garden Gnome 10:00am Big Cook Little Cook 10:20am Pingu 10:30am Schools:Primary History 10:50am Primary Geography 11:10am City Scapes 11:30am The Conservative Party Conference 1:00pm Bobinogs 1:10pm KS1 Science Clips 1:20pm Science Clips Investigates 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm The Flying Gardener 2:15pm The Conservative Party Conference 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Extreme Dreams with Ben Fogle extreme as in sports? Or rudeness? 7:00pm Who Do You Think You Are? I’d like to ask my new landlord this question as he let a girl stay in the house that my housemates and I were paying the rent for and when we expressed our annoyance at this..... 8:00pm Autumnwatch 9:00pm Under the Doctor: A Medical History of Wales 9:30pm Horizon 10:20pm Dear Television 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This World: The Tea Boy of Gaza 12:00am The Third Programme: High Culture for All 12:40am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:English 4:00am KS3 Curriculum Bites

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Meg and Mog 3:05pm Pocoyo 3:15pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:30pm Jungle Run 4:00pm My Parents are Aliens 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Sharon Osbourne Show what is with all these women bringing out half-hearted chat shows? Sharon should stick to the X-Factor, Davina should stick to Big Bro and Charlotte Church should just stick to....well, just stick to working on disappearing down the pan of shit pop ‘artists’. And no I don’t care if she’s Welsh, it can’t cover the fact that she’s a twat. 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 8:00pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 9:00pm The Outsiders 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Goodwood Festival of Speed 12:00am Motorsport UK 12:35am ITV Play: The Mint 3:45am Mum's On Strike 4:20am Date My Daughter 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News ....And got the housing agency to make him give us our rent back, he had a paddy and decided to withold a much needed fridge from us. All I can say to this is....DICKHEAD, oh and WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE MISTER?

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:30am The Deadly Knowledge Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm King of Queens 1:00pm In Your Dreams 1:15pm Moulin Rouge 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: RIBA Stirling Prize 2006 8:00pm It's Me or the Dog: The Event 9:00pm Supernanny 10:00pm Diary of a Mail Order Bride 11:05pm Diary of a Mistress 12:05am Moby Video Exclusive 12:10am Garth Marenghi's Darkplace 12:40am Garth Marenghi's Darkplace 1:10am The Comedy Lab 1:35am Whatever 2:20am The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 2:45am Indian Finishing School 3:45am One Minute Past Midnight 4:00am Star Maths 2 4:10am Star Maths 2 4:20am Star Maths 2 4:30am Star Maths 2 4:40am Star Maths 2 4:50am Star Maths 2 5:00am Star Maths 2 5:10am Star Maths 2 5:20am Maths Mansion 5:30am Maths Mansion 5:40am Maths Mansion 5:50am Maths Mansion

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:45am Make Way for Noddy or else he’ll use your skin to make a range of accessories, including shoes, belts and gloves and perhaps he’ll use your teeth to make a charming necklace and earring set. 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Franny's Feet 8:45am Bird Bath 8:55am My First... risotto was a bit of a disaster. How do you stop it from looking like rice pudding? 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm About Sarah 3:40pm The Baby Dance 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Pevsner's Cities: Oxford with Gavin Stamp 8:00pm The Diet Doctors - Inside & Out 9:00pm CSI: Miami 10:00pm CSI:NY 11:00pm The Conman With 14 Wives 12:05am The FBI Files 1:05am NASCAR Chase for the Nextel Cup 1:50am Golf 2:40am FIM World Motocross Championship 3:30am Football Argentina 5:00am Dutch Football football played with a bit of dutch courage, full of wasters rolling around on the floor. Amusing.

7:00pm Three's Outtakes 7:30pm The Real Hustle 8:00pm Grime Scene Investigation 8:30pm The Indestructibles 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm I'm With Stupid 10:00pm EastEnders 10:25pm That Mitchell and Webb Look 10:55pm Dogtown 11:25pm Ideal 11:55pm Family Guy 12:15am Nighty Night 12:45am Swiss Toni 1:15am I'm With Stupid 1:45am The Indestructibles 2:15am Live Girls Present Dogtown 2:45am Nighty Night 3:15am Swiss Toni Yay!!!!!!Wahoo!!!!! Hello everybody and welcome back to TV listings, the highlight of your week (well, mine anyway, it’s my only regular social activity). TV jane hopes you all had a lovely summer and that you’re all ready to get back to some good, hard, focused, committed....drinking, partying, sleeping, lounging and maybe a little bit of working too. I’m afraid I’ve had an uneventful summer with very little to write about, so that’s it from me. Yeah right.

7:00pm Journeys into the Ring of Fire 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Sky at Night 9:00pm Mark Lawson Talks to Jack Dee 10:00pm Jack Dee Live in London 11:00pm Have I Got Old News for You 11:30pm The Sky at Night is dark. 12:00am Mark Lawson Talks to Jack Dee 1:00am Journeys into the Ring of Fire 2:00am 10 Things You Didn't Know About Volcanoes 3:00am Mark Lawson Talks to Jack Dee TV Jane’s shitty tips for surviving your first year at uni, own at least one pair of comfortable, waterproof shoes (sounds obvious but I was stupid), you can never have enough pasta and tuna, get drunk at home before going out to save lots of money, don’t worry if you don’t like the people in your flat at halls just get out there and find some nice people and be prepared for inevitable colds and flu with lots of oranges and lemsip. Do this and you can’t go wrong.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice From Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm The Montel Williams Show 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm High School Reunion 9:00pm The Hand That Rocks the Cradle 11:10pm Entourage 11:40pm The Office: An American Workplace 12:10am American Pie II 2:10am ITV

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Dirty Pretty Things 8:00am Wake Up with... Dirty Pretty Things 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 9:30am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but... Fit Young Men 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 1:00pm Vodafone TBA 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Lost 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer 10:00pm Supernanny: Beyond the Naughty Step 10:30pm Russell Brand's Got Issues 11:00pm X-Rated: The TV They Tried to Ban 12:40am One Tree Hill 1:30am Ghost Whisperer 2:25am Supernanny: Beyond the Naughty Step 2:50am Russell Brand's Got Issues 3:15am The OC 4:00am

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:25am 3 Minute Wonder: Me and My Machine 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Muffin the Mule 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Ari Awyren 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Rhacsyn a'r Goeden Hud 1:15pm Proud Parents 1:25pm Wife Swap 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Hanesion Hyll 4:25pm Planed Plant:Mona y Fampir 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm Friends 6:30pm The Simpsons 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Taro 9 9:00pm Taith Yr Iaith 10:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 11:00pm

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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WEDNESDAY

OCTOBER.02.2006 TV@!"#$!"#$$.COM

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BBC1 3.50pm

BBC2 9.00am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty Ghetto hoes in lowriders. 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm Lazytown 3:50pm Watch My Chops Smell my growler. 4:05pm Crush 4:30pm Kerching! 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Child of Our Time: The Children's Stories 7:30pm Real Story with Fiona Bruce This really can’t be as interesting as the title suggests, can it? 8:00pm Sky Cops How many crims escape in planes? Not many. Stupid idea? Yep. 9:00pm Who Do You Think You Are? Hello. I’m TV Neil. 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery: Midweek Draws 10:40pm Hospital Check-Up It’s terminal. 11:10pm The Count of Monte Cristo 1:20am Sign Zone:Ancient Rome: The Rise and Fall of an Empire 2:20am Sign Zone:Fred Dibnah's World of Steam, Steel and Stone 2:50am Sign Zone:To Buy or Not to Buy 3:35am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Time Warp Trio 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 9:00am Autumnwatch Some advice about Autumn: Dog poo can look like fallen leaves or twigs. Don’t kick leaves. 9:30am Me Too! 9:50am Gordon the Garden Gnome 10:00am Big Cook Little Cook Sunday Roast vs. Rice Crispie cakes? Roast everytime.10:20am Pingu 10:30am What the Ancients Did for Us Ancient who? 11:30am The Conservative Party Conference 1:00pm Crawshaw's Watercolour Cruise 1:25pm Coast: Northern Ireland - Strangford Lough/Torr Head 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm The Conservative Party Conference 3:55pm Flog It! 4:25pm Ready Steady Cook 5:10pm Weakest Link 5:55pm Party Political Broadcast 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Extreme Dreams with Ben Fogle 7:00pm The Trees That Made Britain 7:30pm Mythbusters Santa’s not real. 8:00pm Autumnwatch Cos sometimes it’s not a leaf and then you get dog shit all over you and, if you kicked it hard enough, all over the person in front. 9:00pm Anatomy of a Crime 10:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm The Apprentice USA 12:00am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Mathsphere Edits 1 4:00am Mathsphere Edits 2

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders ITV should show real life crime in order to scare the general public into believing they’re probably going to get killed walking down to the shops. An hour of CCTV footage should do the trick. TV Gareth is from Midsomer Murders. FACT! 3:00pm Meg and Mog 3:05pm Pocoyo 3:15pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:30pm Jungle Run 4:00pm My Parents are Aliens 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Sharon Osbourne Show I’m not sure if this is better than the New Paul O’Grady Show. The other day Sharon had All American Rejects performing mimes. Boy that was shit. 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:55pm Party Conference Broadcast: Conservative Party 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm Wire in the Blood 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm The Contender II He failed the first time, now he’s back. I hope he fails again. Serves him right for being in a sequel with a boring title. 12:00am ITV Play: The Mint 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Teen Tycoons Freshers with student loans and overdrafts. 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack Gutted. MacDonalds are probably recruiting. 11:30am The Deadly Knowledge Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm King of Queens 1:00pm 3 Minute Wonder: Beside the Seaside 1:05pm The Barefoot Contessa 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: RIBA Stirling Prize 2006 8:00pm How Clean Is Your House? Currently quite clean. We had a minor drain blockage today, but our landlord came round and cleared the drain out with his BARE HANDS. 8:30pm You Are What You Eat 9:00pm Family Brat Camp 10:00pm Ballet Changed My Life: Ballet Hoo! 11:05pm The Rules of Attraction Always aim lower. This way you’ll never be disappointed. 1:10am FIVB Beach Volleyball 2006 2:10am Trans World Sport 3:05am Adrenalin Rush 3:30am Smoke Signals 5:05am Supporting Acts 5:20am Countdown

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Franny's Feet 8:45am Bird Bath 8:55am My First... 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Columbo: Candidate for Crime I’m pleased to see that five are still showing Columbo. It must be hard for the old codger to compete against Sloane on BBC1. 3:40pm Guilt by Association 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Celtic v Liverpool: the Legends Liverpool 3 Celtic 1 10:00pm Swinging 10:30pm Respectable A very general name for a programme. So general I can’t even think of anything funny to say. That doesn’t happen often. Trust me. Not just anyone can do TV Desk... 11:05pm Ant and Dec: A Showbiz Marriage Isn’t this a bit late for Ant and Dec? I don’t know anything about them but I always thought they were primetime whores. Channel five at 11pm is hopefully signalling their demise. 12:05am PartyPoker.com World Open II 1:35am Baseball Wednesday 4:35am NHRA Drag Racing: O'Reilly Fall Nationals

7:00pm Doctor Who 7:45pm Doctor Who 8:30pm The Real Hustle This programme is fucking well good. Seriously. They tell you how to con and rob unsuspecting members of the public. If you’re short on cash I would strongly recommend watching this. 9:00pm My Small Breasts and I 10:00pm Life or Something like It 11:40pm The Real Hustle 12:10am My Small Breasts and I I didn’t comment the first time, but I just can’t resist. I don’t even have anything to say. I’m just a chauvinist pig who is constantly drawn towards breasts. 1:05am Trauma Uncut 1:35am Trauma Uncut 2:05am Darts Tarts: Welcome To My World 3:00am Mischief For all of those who haven’t had the pleasure of reading the TV pages before, I’m TV Neil and I hope you enjoy our work. You may have noticed that we don’t write anything of relevance to the TV listings. If this bothers you, I suggest you go and spend money on a different publication.

7:00pm The African Rock 'n' Roll Years 8:00pm The World Is really big and is apparently falling apart. I’m too ignorant to even care. 8:30pm Nation on Film 9:00pm The League of Gentlemen 9:30pm Broken News 10:00pm More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy I saw this during summer. How many times can you repeat the same fucking programme? 10:30pm Lead Balloon 11:00pm Never Mind the Full Stops 11:30pm Mark Lawson Talks to Jack Dee 12:30am More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 1:00am Nation on Film 1:30am The African Rock 'n' Roll Years 2:30am Lead Balloon Like most of my so-called jokes. 3:00am More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy It’s repeated again. Aren’t we lucky? 3:30am Never Mind the Full Stops

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice From Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:55am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:40am Judge Judy 12:00pm Coronation Street 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm The Montel Williams Show 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Hell's Kitchen USA 9:00pm American Pie II 11:00pm Coronation Street 11:30pm Test Drive My Girlfriend 12:00am Test Drive My Girlfriend 12:35am ITV Play: The Mint

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with Leonardo and Ray 8:00am Wake Up with Leonardo and Ray 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 9:30am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but Dave 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 1:10pm Vodafone TBA: Pussycat Dolls 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Lost 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Desperate Housewives 10:00pm Family Brat Camp Unseen 10:30pm Princess Nikki 11:00pm Beauty and the Geek 12:05am The Charlotte Church Show 1:00am Sex and the City 1:30am No Angels 2:35am Desperate Housewives 3:15am No Angels 4:15am The OC 4:55am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am The Deadly Knowledge Show 9:25am 3 Minute Wonder: Time for School 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:30am Bitesize Gwyddoniaeth Ffiseg 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Muffin the Mule 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Binca 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Ding Dong 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Falmai y Fuwch 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: RIBA Stirling Prize 2006 1:20pm You Are What You Eat 1:55pm How Clean Is Your House? 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Clwb Winx 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Cer I Greu 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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6:00am Breakfast 9:15am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm Lazytown 3:50pm Watch My Chops 4:05pm Crush 4:35pm The Batman 5:00pm Young Dracula very cute. 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Super Vets 7:30pm EastEnders oh dear lord, Eastenders is on while I’m writing this and it’s completely unlikely, that crazy drunken bloke that’s been hitting that black lady has just drowned his daughter in a very small puddle. Could they not think of anything better? The writers should check out my ‘Deaths by Noddy’ on five, now that’s entertainment. 8:00pm What Not to Wear 9:00pm Ancient Rome: The Rise and Fall of an Empire 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm In Poor Health 11:05pm Question Time 12:05am This Week 1:05am Sign Zone:Equator 2:05am Sign Zone:Vet Safari 2:35am Sign Zone:To Buy or Not to Buy go on, buy it, you just got your loan. 3:20am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Time Warp Trio 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 9:00am Autumnwatch 9:30am Me Too! 9:50am Gordon the Garden Gnome loves to eat the herbs. 10:00am Big Cook Little Cook cardboard box. Yeah. 10:20am Pingu 10:30am Look and Read 10:50am Music Makers 11:10am The Maths Channel - Year 6 11:20am The Maths Channel - Year 6 11:30am B & B The Best 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Britain's Best Buildings well that must be our very own union building! It’s just so classy and sleek, no concrete, ugly bricks or bright yellow bannisters in sight. You gotta love it.1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Coast: Northern Ireland - Giants Causeway 2:05pm Green Fire 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads they have heads shaped like eggs. 6:30pm Extreme Dreams with Ben Fogle 7:00pm Seven Man-Made Wonders 7:30pm Mythbusters 8:00pm Autumnwatch 9:00pm Extras 9:30pm That Mitchell and Webb Look 10:00pm Mock the Week 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm The Apprentice USA 12:00am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:The Maths Channel 4:00am Maths File TV Grace where are you? xxx

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Meg and Mog 3:05pm Pocoyo 3:15pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:30pm Jungle Run 4:00pm My Parents are Aliens 4:30pm My Parents Are Aliens 5:00pm The Sharon Osbourne Show 6:00pm Wales Tonight oooh I have some news for you Topshop lovers. Apparently the Topshop in town is closing and re-opening on the Currys sight so it should be really huge. This could be good or bad news, depending on whether you plan on staying within your overdraft this year. 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Pier 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm Ladette To Lady 10:00pm Tarrant on TV 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Ghost Story 11:30pm Waterfront 12:00am Free Ride 12:25am ITV Play: The Mint 4:35am Driving Mum and Dad Mad 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News oh dear, I’m being distracted by the new ‘What Not to Wear’. It’s not Skinny and Susannah anymore and despite the fact that they are probably two of the scariest and evil women on TV, it’s not the same without them. Get a life Jane.

6:05am Making It 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:30am The Deadly Knowledge Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm King of Queens 1:00pm 3 Minute Wonder: Beside the Seaside 1:05pm The Devil at Four o'Clock 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: RIBA Stirling Prize 2006 8:00pm One Year to Pay off your Mortgage 9:00pm Dispatches 10:00pm Scream despite this film being completely predictable it still scares the crap out of me. I’m a wooss 12:00am The Charlotte Church Show is an absolute pile of shit. She has crappy guests and it’s meant to be in front of an audience but they don’t laugh, it’s just canned laughter. And that’s because it’s not fuckin funny. I could do a better show than that, actually, Bree from Neighbours could do a better show than that. And that’s saying something.12:50am Lamhe 4:20am Dispatches: Burma's Secret War 5:10am Countdown 5:55am The

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:45am Make Way for Noddy or else he’ll force feed you fizzy drinks and popping candy and bicarbonate soda until your stomach explodes and the hospital might manage to save you but you’ll never be able to enjoy food (especially sweets) again and that wouldn’t be nice (that idea came from some sick TV show where they were experimenting with a dead pig’s stomach. I was eating pizza at the time, not nice).8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Franny's Feet 8:45am Bird Bath 8:55am My First... 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Pillars of the Sky 3:35pm The Six Million Dollar Man - Sharks 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Britain's Worst Pet 8:00pm The Hotel Inspector 9:00pm Build a New Life in the Country 10:00pm Criminal Minds 11:00pm Extraordinary People: The 4 Year Old Who Ran 40 Miles 12:05am John Barnes' Football Night 12:50am French Football - Le Championnat 1:40am Dutch Football 3:10am Football Argentina 4:40am Celtic v

7:00pm Doctor Who 7:45pm Doctor Who Confidential 8:00pm New Anthea Turner: The Perfect Housewife 9:00pm Say No to the Knife 10:00pm EastEnders 10:25pm The Real Hustle 10:55pm Jonathan Ross's Japanorama 11:25pm Grime Scene Investigation 11:55pm The Indestructibles 12:25am Trauma Uncut 12:55am Trauma Uncut 1:20am Death Detective 1:50am Say No to the Knife 2:50am New Anthea Turner: The Perfect Housewife well actually I was approached by a person from the BBC whilst I was at work asking me if I knew a bunch of young people that were living together in a bit of shithole. Well at the time it was the summer. So no. Anyhoo, they were looking for people to go on Anthea’s show and learn the skills of a perfect housewife. No thank you Anthea! You did get to go check out her house though, that would have been exciting. Well I’m sure you really wanted to know that didn’t you.

7:00pm Sounds of the Sixties 7:10pm The Avengers 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Up Pompeii 9:00pm Forty Minutes On 10:00pm Family Ties 10:30pm The Late Edition Nude dining? Yes or no? Answers to tv@gairrhydd.com please. 11:00pm I, Claudius 11:55pm The Piano: A Love Affair 12:55am The Late Edition 1:25am The Perfect Village 1:55am Forty Minutes On 2:55am Reader, I Married Him we’ve got a brand new fridge, it’s big and fat and blue and stops you from getting in the kitchen. It’s probably the highlight of my week, other than seeing all the chums that have come back to uni, getting tickets to see kasabian, knowing that my loan is (hopefully) soon to come through, getting free pizza again now that we’re back on the newspaper and having more than one invite to a party at a time (that is rare). So yep, what a fridge.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm The Montel Williams Show 5:15pm Airline 5:40pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Gameshow Marathon USA 8:50pm Movies Now 9:00pm Best Man's Speech 10:00pm Entourage 10:30pm The Office: An American Workplace 11:00pm Coyote Ugly

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with Clive Owen 8:00am Wake Up with Clive Owen 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 9:30am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but Blondes 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 12:55pm Vodafone TBA: Razorlight 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Lost 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Scrubs 9:30pm The War at Home 10:00pm The Sopranos 11:10pm The Law of the Playground 11:40pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 12:10am Smack the Pony 12:45am Scrubs 1:15am The War at Home 1:40am The Sopranos 2:35am 8 Out of 10 Cats 3:00am Smack the Pony 3:25am The War at

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am The Deadly Knowledge Show 9:25am 3 Minute Wonder: Time for School 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Muffin the Mule 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Anturiaethau Smot y Ci 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Meees! 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: RIBA Stirling Prize 2006 1:20pm One Year to Pay off your Mortgage 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:20pm Planed Plant:Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:40pm Planed Plant:Crafwr 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm Friends

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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62 Crwys Road, Cardiff,CF24 4NN

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6:00am Breakfast 9:15am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm Lazytown The story of my life. This year I will do more work and actually read the set texts. 3:50pm Watch My Chops Slap my spam. 4:05pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:30pm The Basil Brush Show Basil Brush and Open All Hours and Outtake TV? Monsieur, with these programmes you are really spoling us. 4:55pm The Slammer 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm A Question of Sport 7:30pm Open All Hours 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm The Green Green Grass 9:00pm Outtake TV A worthy choice for a Friday night from the BBC. 9:30pm Not Going Out I don’t blame you. There’s not that much to do on a Friday, unless you want to be surrounded by a load of drunken wankers. I certainely don’t. 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 11:35pm Road Trip 1:10am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Time Warp Trio 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 9:00am Autumnwatch 9:30am Me Too! 9:50am Gordon the Garden Gnome 10:00am Big Cook Little Cook 10:20am Pingu 10:30am Razzledazzle 10:50am Schools:Henry's Wives with Terry Deary 11:00am Primary Geography 11:20am Focus 11:40am See You, See Me, See Castles 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:30pm Coast: Lindisfarne 1:35pm The Prisoner of Zenda 3:15pm Through the Keyhole 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Extreme Dreams with Ben Fogle Pervert 7:00pm Feeding Frenzy: Convenient Cuisine Chips and cheese 7:30pm Scrum V Live Yawn 9:30pm Galapagos Whatever 10:20pm The Rabbits of Skomer 10:30pm Newsnight 11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm Solomon Burke: Everybody Needs Somebody 12:35am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:The Challenge 2:30am An A to Z of English 3:00am An English Accent 3:30am English Only in America? 4:00am Animated English: The Creature Comforts Story 4:30am Open Advice: Exam Success 5:00am The Next Big Thing

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Meg and Mog 3:05pm Pocoyo 3:15pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:30pm Jungle Run 4:00pm My Parents Are Aliens Imagine if your parents were actually Aliens. That would be well shit. All the shenanigans from the popular TV series might actually happen. 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Sharon Osbourne Show X Factor Special 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Tonight with Trevor McDonald: The Green Factor Is there some Green competition? Over on 1 at 8.30 there’s a programme called The Green Green Grass. What’s the big deal with green? Its a shit colour anyway. 8:30pm Airline 9:00pm Taggart 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Robbie Williams: Video Exclusive 11:05pm Real Crime: The M25 Rapist - Married to a Monster This programme is definately NOT funny. Jokes on you. 12:05am Hell's Kitchen 12:55am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:25am Too Many Cooks 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:30am The Deadly Knowledge I think there could be a Steve Irwin joke here somewhere. Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm King of Queens 1:00pm Reach for the Sky 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm The War at Home 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm Star Stories 9:30pm Best of the Worst 10:00pm The Charlotte Church Show 10:55pm Da Ali G Show I’m quite upset that I’ve not seen any of this new series yet, as I am a big Borat fan. Fans of mine might remember I did a Borat special last year. If i was the kind of person to rehash the same jokes every week then you might see it again. 11:30pm My Name Is Earl 12:00am My Name Is Earl 12:30am The Album Chart Show 1:00am Vodafone TBA 2:00am Party Poker.com Late Night Poker Ace 3:00am First Person 3:25am Ballet Changed My Life: Ballet Hoo! 4:25am Dispatches: The Drug Trial that Went Wrong 5:15am Countdown

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Franny's Feet 8:45am Bird Bath 8:55am My First... Wank was well good. 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Storm Chasers: Revenge of the Twister Is this Twister 2? I remember wanting to be a storm chaser after I saw Twister. Now I can’t even be bothered to have a career of any form. 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm The Wrong Girl There is a very very very good book by Willy Russel called The Wrong Boy. Its probably my favourite book. I bet this programme is no way near as good as the book, and girls are generally better than boys. 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Flying with Falcons = cool 8:30pm The All Star Talent Show I am sure that there will be a vast array of talent on display. 10:00pm The Peacekeeper Is a wuss who is too scared to get involved. 12:00am Real Sex No comment. 12:50am Quiz Call 5:35am Wildlife SOS I’ve just realised I haven’t smoked all day and its now 8.30 pm.

7:00pm Doctor Who 7:50pm Doctor Who Confidential 8:00pm Say No to the Knife Please Mr. Mugger, don’t use that knife. But do make me have plastic surgery. God knows I need it. 9:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 9:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm I'm With Stupid This is actually quite funny. Well in parts. I like the guy who was in Craig Cash’s Early Doors. We have NTL on demand so I watched the last 2 episodes. Then I watched last weeks Extras. 11:00pm Live Girls Present Dogtown 11:35pm Jonathan Ross's Japanorama More Woss is always good. 12:05am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:35am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:00am The Real Hustle 1:30am The Indestructibles 2:00am I'm With Stupid 2:30am Jonathan Ross's Japanorama 3:00am New Anthea Turner: The Perfect Housewife

7:00pm TV 73 - the Defining Shows TV Neil’s defining shows of all time or something like that: Kenan and Kel, Men Behaving Badly, Soccer AM, Match of the Day, Peepshow, G String Divas, Pete and Pete, Eastenders, South Park, old 999, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Ali G and Borat and like loads of other stuff. 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Family Ties 9:00pm Jake Thackeray: On the Box 10:00pm Jake Thackeray: His Songs 10:30pm QI 11:00pm Lead Balloon 11:30pm The Avengers 12:20am Jake Thackeray: On the Box 1:20am Jake Thackeray: His Songs Who the frig is Jake Thackeray? Should I know? Well I don’t so I don’t give a toss anyway. Too cool, mate. 1:50am Time Shift:Alan Plater Hearing the Music 2:30am TV 73 - the Defining Shows 3:30am Lead Balloon

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm The Montel Williams Show 5:15pm ITV at the Movies 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Xtra Factor 9:00pm Coyote Ugly 11:00pm Coronation Street 11:30pm Robbie Williams: Video Exclusive 11:35pm Best Man's Speech 12:35am Hell's Kitchen Raw

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Outkast 8:00am Wake Up with... Outkast 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 9:30am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but Brunettes 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 12:55pm Vodafone TBA: Franz Ferdinand 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Lost 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Supernanny 10:00pm Dying Young 12:10am Funny Cuts: Mark's Home Videos 12:20am Ibiza Rocks with Sony Ericsson 1:25am Porn: A Family Business 2:05am Porn: A Family Business 2:40am Supernanny 3:40am Ibiza Rocks with Sony Ericsson 4:40am Switched Up! 5:05am Switched Up!

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am The Deadly Knowledge Show 9:25am 3 Minute Wonder 9:30am Teen Tycoons 10:00am Tricky Business Two 10:30am From the Top 11:00am Day I Got The Sack 11:30am The Deadly Knowledge Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Muffin the Mule 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Penblwydd Pwy 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Tecwyn y Tractor 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: RIBA Stirling Prize 2006 1:20pm It's Me or the Dog: The Event 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Beyblade 4:25pm Paparazzi 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm Friends 6:30pm Uned 5 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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I’m With Stupid

My Parents Are Aliens

Fun Song Factory

Bug Alert

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BBC3 2:35am

ITV 11.30 am

ITV 6 am

ITV2 8:30am

five 7.45am

TV Ellen is back to bore a new generation with her pointless ramblings, philosophical meanderings and general all round immatuirty. Hello! 6:00am Breakfast 10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am Ever Wondered about Food This week: How many calories are there in a spoonful of Semen? Valerie investigates (it’s two calories Rubber Duck girls, your gonna be ok) 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:10pm Football Focus 1:00pm Grandstand 1:05pm Racing from Ascot and Chepstow 2:15pm Rugby Union: Anglo-Welsh Cup 4:30pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 4:45pm Wales on Saturday 4:55pm Match of the Day Live 7:05pm To Be Announced You bloody Freshers, coming over to our uni with your young nubile bodie and your sprightly faces naively so full of hope, unmarked by two years of having your dreams regularly shattered and crushed to a metaphysical bloody pulp. And the girls all look like slags. I’m sure they’re lovely though. 8:05pm The National Lottery: 1 vs 100 8:20pm Casualty 9:10pm To Be Announced 9:35pm The Vicar of Dibley 10:05pm BBC News; Weather 10:35pm Match of the Day 11:15pm Film To Be Announced I watched Thelma and Louise the other day. I now hate all men. 1:05am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 2:10am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am Bobinogs 6:30am Charlie and Lola 6:40am The Story Makers 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Astro Boy 7:30am Dennis the Menace 7:55am BB3B 8:15am Legend of the Dragon Shouldnt that be “The Legend of Dragons,” i mean i was pretty busy this summer but im sure there still mythical creatures. 8:35am What's New Scooby-Doo? Well since me and scooby doo are one and the same I thought I would fill you in on whats new with me. Over the summer I discovered myself, and became a born again vegan christian buddist badger baiter. 9:00am TMi 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm See Hear 12:45pm The Sky at Night 1:05pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 1:35pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 2:25pm Film To Be Announced 4:25pm To Be Announced 5:35pm Flog It! 6:35pm Galapagos 7:25pm The Culture Show 8:15pm QI 8:45pm TOTP 2 9:10pm It's... the Monty Python Story 10:00pm Omnibus 10:50pm Mock the Week 11:20pm David Gilmour 12:20am The Culture Show 1:10am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:The Complete Guide 3:00am The Career Ladder 4:00am Communication and Customer Care Skills 5:00am Building your Business start with bricks. On rocks, not sand.

6:00am Fun Song Factory So what do we all think of the new look funfactory hmmm? Do we think ITS EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE LAST ONE?? Yes, yes we do. Still shit then.6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:20am Pocoyo 6:30am Little Einsteins 6:55am Dora the Explorer 7:25am House of Mouse 7:55am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:15am Biker Mice from Mars 8:50am Avatar 9:25am Chef v Britain 9:55am Saturday Cooks Live 11:30am CITV:My Parents are Aliens 12:00pm CITV:Drake & Josh 12:30pm CITV:The New Adventures of Superman 1:30pm ITV News; Weather 1:35pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:40pm The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 2:05pm The Cosby Mysteries 3:05pm F1: Japanese Grand Prix Qualifying 4:50pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:05pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:20pm All New You've Been Framed! 5:24pm ITV Weather 5:50pm The X Factor 6:55pm Ant And Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway 8:10pm The X Factor 9:15pm Afterlife 10:15pm Parkinson 11:15pm ITV News 11:30pm Rio Ferdinand's Windups 12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 3:35am Trading Treasures 4:00am ITV Nightscreen 4:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:00am F1: Japanese Grand Prix Live Snakes on a plane follow ups: Meerkats in a Minibus, Raccoon on a Rickshaw. Horse on a hovercraft.

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am FIA GT Championship 7:30am Lloyds TSB Insurance British F3 International Series 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:Futurama 9:20am T4:Friends 9:55am Princess Nikki Yer, no wonder Pete broke up with you, you whiney anorexic bint from hell. I dont like you because heat tells me to. 10:30am T4:Popworld 11:20am Friends 11:50am Totally Boyband 12:30pm Freaky 1:00pm T4 on the Beach:Charmed 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing 4:15pm Overboard 6:15pm Channel 4 News 6:45pm Ballet Changed My Life: Ballet Hoo! It made me feel very insecure about my penis so i stuffed socks down my front so the other male ballet dancers wouldnt laugh at me. It didnt change my life so much as to give me a complex. I’m so ashamed. 8:15pm Bremner, Bird and Fortune 9:15pm A Knight's Tale 11:45pm 4 Music:4Music: BT Digital Music Awards 2006 12:00am 4 Music:The Album Chart Show: Beck Special Beck is sadly a scientoligst. If any readers are Scientologists please get in touch so i can laugh at you, and possibly kill you. Hmmm if this did actually happen i havent really covered my tracks. 12:30am 4 Music:Vodafone TBA 1:30am 4 Music:Rockfeedback 2:00am 4 Play 2:20am Brown Sugar 4:20am To Be Announced 5:20am Countdown 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....

6:00am Sunrise 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:10am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:05am Jane and the Dragon 9:35am Blue Water High 10:05am Hercules: Legendary Journeys 11:05am RAD: The Groms Ride the Rockies 11:40am To Be Announced 12:30pm To Be Announced 1:00pm Columbo: Dead Weight 2:40pm Blindfold 4:35pm Two Came Back from Cardiff Freshers week without std’s. I apologise for these cheap shots, im just jealous coz im all old and wrinkly now, like a knome in a washing machine. But you are a bunch of flu infested bastards. 6:20pm House is not the same as a home. (thats right, now I’m a born again vegan Christian whatever i said I’m all philosophical and wise now. awwwwww) 7:05pm five news and sport 7:20pm NCIS 8:15pm NCIS 9:10pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:10pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:10pm Disclosure 1:30am Quiz Call 5:35am Wildlife SOS You know who is sexy? Mr Rochestor off the new BBC adaption of Jane Eyre. Oh my....TV Ellen didn’t write to the bottom of the page, so that leaves me, TV Gareth to fill in the gaps. Phew.

7:00pm Match of the Day Live Blah blah blah vs blah blah blah and then blah blah blah moves from conference blah to vauxhall blah and his girlfriend wears clothes by blah and I’m a girl and I dont like football, periods, make up, David Bowie’s penis in labirynth. 9:00pm Film To Be Announced 9:05pm Top Gear 10:05pm Virus 11:35pm Little Miss Jocelyn laughs at your pain 12:05am Little Miss Jocelyn turned the R round on the Toys R Us sign 12:35am Little Miss Jocelyn split up your parents 1:05am Little Miss Jocelyn raped your cat 1:35am Little Miss Jocelyn makes sure Lost makes no sense 2:05am Little Miss Jocelyn gets turned on by Child labour 2:35am I'm With Stupid 3:05am Little Miss Jocelyn Makes Charity workers with clipboards approach you five times in one hour when you’re late for your train 3:35am Little Miss Jocelyn started the Harry Potter society. Who are erm great stuff.

7:00pm Shostakovich Cello Concerto 7:40pm Jake Thackeray: On the Box 8:40pm Dive Galapagos 9:10pm Lonesome George My flatmate is called George. He is quite tall. Maybe this makes him feel alone. Then he sits down and he has friends, but then he stands up and we all go away again. 10:10pm Great Britons: Darwin 11:05pm Wings of Angels 12:10am Lonesome George 1:10am Jake Thackeray: On the Box 2:10am Jake Thackeray: His Songs 2:40am Shostakovich Cello Concerto 3:15am Lonesome George In an effort to calm my sister’s teenage ways my mum has got her a kitten. He is called Gandalf, because he is grey, and if he dies he will come back again as Gandulf the white. I am going home especially tonight to see him and have a little play... not like that. He’s a cat. I fancy rabbits. floppy ears and cotton ball tails. Erotic.

I dont actually fancy Rabbits. I’m not a pervert. Well, obviously I am, but just with boys. 6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald's Farm 8:25am Mags and Mo 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:50am The Wheels on the Bus 9:00am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:30pm Coronation Street Omnibus 2:55pm Holidays Undercover 3:55pm Make Me Rich 4:30pm Movies Now 4:40pm The Departed: DiCaprio Arrives - ITV Movie Special 5:10pm High School Reunion 6:10pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:10pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:10pm Xtra Factor 9:10pm To Be Announced 11:10pm The X Factor 12:10am Xtra Factor 1:10am ITV Play: Playdate 3:10am Emmerdale Omnibus Must resist pizza. Must resist pizza. Must resist pizza. Must resist pizza.

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Vodafone TBA: The Killers 2:00pm The Album Chart Show 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Lost Sawyer vs Jack? Mudwrestling fight. 7:00pm Invasion 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm To Be Announced 1:00am Porn: A Family Business I went to a burlesque night at Buffalo Bar recently. This girl stripped down to her underwear, proudly watched by her parents. “Oh her very first strip tease, i am SO proud.” 1:30am Lost 2:30am Invasion 3:30am Porn: A Family Business 4:00am Vodafone TBA: The Killers “He doesnt look a thing like Jesus.” No Brandon you don’t, you look like Santa: The Bacholer years. Fecking stupid moustache. 4:30am Switched Up! 5:00am Switched Up! 5:30am Switched Up! Must resist lovely pizza. Must resist lovely pizza. Must resist lovely pizza.

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am FIA GT Championship 7:30am Lloyds TSB Insurance British F3 International Series 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Futurama 9:20am Friends 9:45am Princess Nikki 10:15am Girls Aloud: Off the Record 10:45am Charmed 11:35am Emporio Armani Red: One Night Only 12:35pm Freaky 1:05pm Jamelia: T4 Special 1:30pm T4 Movie Special: The Devil Wears Prada 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing 4:00pm To Be Announced 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Newyddion 5:10pm Y Clwb Rygbi 7:20pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 9:25pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 9:40pm Taith Yr Iaith 10:40pm The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 12:30am Bremner, Bird and Fortune 1:30am Da Ali G Show 2:00am Vodafone TBA: The Killers 2:55am To Be Announced 3:55am KOTV Must ignore juicy gooey greasy yummy pizza. Must think thin. Must think thin. Must think thin.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff,CF24 4NN

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OCTOBER.02.2006 TV@!"#$!"#$$.COM

:65#;%4$<'%"#/ 4=6*>$/%E4 3pm

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)'%4533$(%67%869$%

BBC1 9pm

BBC2 10pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:00am Sunday AM 10:00am Heaven and Earth with Gloria Hunniford 11:00am Countryfile 12:00pm The Politics Show 1:00pm The Politics Show 1:30pm Keeping Up Appearances 2:00pm EastEnders 3:55pm Points of View 4:10pm To Be Announced 5:10pm Jane Eyre 6:10pm Songs of Praise 6:45pm Antiques Roadshow 7:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 8:00pm To Be Announced 9:00pm Jane Eyre This adaptation of the classic novel follows the fortunes of our original feminist heroine who begins her life as a girl orphaned without a penny to her name. Jane moves to a post teaching the illegitimate child of a Mr Rochester. Who is fit. This unconventional hero figure finds himself drawn to Jane not for her (plain) face but for her intellect and spark. Basically she is bit minging, and he is proper lush and they hook up, but he has got a mental wife locked up withe attic who sets fire to stuff. We all learn something about hooking up with fit older men with mad wives, its often an advisable path to take. You could be Like those other feminists Thelma and Lousie and just drive off a cliff. Er why? 10:00pm BBC News; Weather 10:15pm Panorama 10:55pm Sommersby 12:40am Sign Zone:Holby City 1:40am Sign Zone:Who Do You Think You Are? 2:40am Sign Zone:Antiques Roadshow 3:25am BBC News

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am Bobinogs 6:30am Charlie and Lola 6:40am The Story Makers 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Legend of the Dragon 7:30am Smile 10:00am Something for the Weekend 11:30am To Be Announced 11:55am The Hunchback of Notre Dame Ugly guy wit h lumpy back lives in a big church and falls for a girl out of this league, she thinks he is alright but fancies this fitty who is in the army or something, i forget, anyway Hunchie and her stay friends and she shags fitty. The love story TV Gareth aspires to but he doesn’t even own a church so has no hope. 1:00pm Sunday Grandstand 1:35pm Football: Euro 2008 Qualifiers Review 1:45pm Rugby League: Super League Play-offs 2:30pm Rugby Union: AngloWelsh Cup 3:15pm Rugby Union: Anglo-Welsh Cup 5:40pm Wild 6:10pm Natural World 7:00pm To Be Announced 8:00pm Dragon's Den 9:00pm Beyond Boundaries: The African Challenge 10:00pm My Summer of Love This Film is amazing, a plotline for the girls and for the boys a bit of lesbian action, you might also get drawn in by the coming of age whimsical plotline too. 11:30pm Extras 12:00am Golf 1:00am Arrested Development 1:25am Arrested Development 1:50am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am Italy Inside Out 1-5 5:00am Italian Journey 2 Italian Journey 2? Italian Journey to...? TO WHERE??

8:00am Power Rangers SPD How the hell is this still going, all the power rangers are surely now in jail, in rehab or had sex changes. 9:05am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am To Be Announced 11:55am The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12:15pm The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 12:55pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:00pm The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 1:15pm Local News and Weather 1:20pm The X Factor 2:25pm The X Factor 3:30pm F1: Japanese Grand Prix Live 5:30pm How the Other Half Live 6:00pm Soccer Sunday 6:30pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:45pm ITV News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale Family Album 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Royal 9:00pm What We Did on Our Holiday Discussed our Bowel movements regularly. 11:00pm ITV News 11:15pm F1: Japanese Grand Prix Highlights 12:15am Champions League Weekly 12:45am Faith and Music 1:45am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show “You’re hopeless, you’re ugly, you smell like spam, and you’re stupid, that’s why he left you THAT’S WHY. but its alright you can talk to our counsellor Graham after the show. “ I love Jeremy, i wish he was my dad 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:05am To Be Announced 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Trans World Sport 8:00am World Superbikes 8:30am Freesports on 4 9:00am T4:Popworld 9:50am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:20pm To Be Announced 1:20pm Girls Aloud: Off the Record 1:50pm T4:Beauty and the Geek 2:50pm T4:Smallville: Superman the Early Years 3:15pm T4:Charmed 4:50pm Men in White 5:55pm Deal or No Deal 6:40pm T4:Decoding Da Vinci 7:40pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm 100 Greatest Funny Moments “That time that b list celebrity walked into that door and he banged his head and he went into a coma and his leg fell off and his wife left him and his arm got infected and rabbits ate it and then a bird did a poo on him and james blunt came along to serenade him and then he made it worse and he went into a self induced coma and he wouldnt wake up till James left, but he wouldnt leave so we killed James and middle age women began a hunger fast and all died, and then here was no one left to reproduce the earth and then we made a film about it staring Clive Owen. yes.” 12:05am To Be Announced 12:35am Vodafone TBA: Pussycat Dolls 1:25am World Superbikes 2:20am The Album Chart Show 2:50am KOTV 3:15am FIA GT Racing Highlights 3:45am Lloyds TSB Insurance British F3 International Series 4:15am Thunder Races Lightning. Light faster than sound, always. 5:15am Countdown

This weeks ramblings are brough to you by Ellen, the Journalism student with no real ambition, and hairy toes. 6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:35am Sailor Sid 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:05am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:30am What Makes Me Happy 9:45am Demolition Dad 10:00am Round the Twist 10:30am Over the Sea to School 11:00am Snobs 11:35am Combat Club 12:05pm A Different Life 12:35pm Revelations 1:05pm five news update 1:15pm To Be Announced 2:00pm To Be Announced Tell me, I can’t take the suspense. 2:30pm Columbo: How to Dial a Murder 4:25pm MVP: Most Valuable Primate 6:10pm five news and sport 6:25pm Tarzan and the Lost City 8:00pm Embarrassing Parents 9:00pm Birth Night... Live! Oh dont let this be what i think it is. Channel Five may have stooped pretttty low. And the exclamation mark, as if it makes it all the more edge of the seat stuff. how about this CASTRATION NIGHT....LIVE! 11:00pm World's Wildest Police Videos 11:55pm The X Games XII 12:55am Major League Baseball 4:30am Dutch Football

7:00pm New Anthea Turner 8:00pm Say No to the Knife No, Bad Knife! You’re just part of this nu rave fad. (Errrr, The Knife are GOOD, and not new rave. I will desecrate anybody’s page if they get music wrong - TV Gareth) 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm The Catherine Tate Show 10:00pm I'm With Stupid 10:30pm The Real Hustle 11:00pm To Be Announced 12:00am Jonathan Ross's Japanorama 12:30am I'm With Stupid 1:00am The Real Hustle 1:30am Body of Adolf Hitler 2:30am Jonathan Ross's Japanorama I have a few gigs lined up i thought i would fill you in on, so you can admire and hate me in equal measure, in the next month i will be watching: The Bronx (punk yer!) , Paramore (pop yer!), Rancid (pop punk yer!), Tool (prog metal! huh?) Cooper Temple Clause (rock with synths! ERR... yeh!) and Heavens (new Matt Skiba side project from Alkaline Trio, its pop with synths.... Yer!)

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm Lonesome George 9:00pm Lead Balloon chocoloate tea pop, inflatable dart board 9:30pm More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 10:00pm Reader, I Married Him 11:00pm The Devil Is a Woman Yer, damm right. go girl go girl. And another thing, whats so great about willies anyway, they look funny and they smell funny and there stupid. Like men! YER Lets all burn are underwear. But only the stuff we bought from primark we never expect anyone to see. 12:20am The Late Edition 12:50am Reader, I Married Him No BBC Four, its “TV Viewer, i married him.” You bunch of knobs. 1:50am Lonesome George 2:50am More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 3:20am The Late Edition Things i currently am enjoying: Kinder Eggs. Thats about it. “A Sandwich came otta my head! lalalalalalalal

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:30am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:00am Power Rangers Space Delta Patrol 8:30am Power Rangers Space Delta Patrol 9:05am Spongebob Squarepants 9:25am Planet's Funniest Animals 9:50am Ant And Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway 11:00am The New Adventures of Superman 12:00pm Emmerdale Omnibus 2:45pm To Be Announced 4:25pm Coronation Street Omnibus 6:45pm Ant And Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway 8:00pm The X Factor 9:00pm Xtra Factor 10:00pm Entourage 10:30pm The Office: An Americna Workplace 11:00pm Best Man's Speech 11:30pm Coronation Street 12:00am Entourage 12:30am The Office: An Americna Workplace

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 2:10pm Popworld Alex Zane good. Pop world Bad. 3:00pm Young, Sexy and... Spoiled 4:00pm Reunion 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm The War at Home 7:00pm One Tree Hill 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer Jennifer Love Hewit, sees Ghosts, OH HOW ORIGINAL THERE ARE NO OTHER SHOWS/FILMS WHICH HAVE EVER DONE THIS. WAIT... what about medium? That is so much more superior and doesnt start Love “Ohhh breats” Hewitt twat face. Yes, thats right. i said Breats. 10:00pm The Sopranos 11:15pm Hollyoaks: In the City 12:15am Scrubs 12:45am The War at Home 1:15am Ghost Whisperer 2:15am The Sopranos 3:30am Hollyoaks: In the City like Hollyoaks but with more boobies. 4:30am Switched Up! 5:00am Switched Up! 5:30am Switched Up!

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Trans World Sport 8:00am World Superbikes 8:30am Freesports on 4 9:00am Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:30am Charmed 12:30pm Yr Wythnos 1:00pm Maniffesto 1:30pm The Simpsons 2:00pm Totally Boyband 2:30pm To Be Announced 3:00pm Men in White 4:00pm Y Clwb Rygbi 6:00pm Newyddion 6:05pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 8:00pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 8:30pm Mastermind Cymru 9:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:00pm Newyddion 10:15pm Elizabeth I 12:15am The Corruptor 2:15am Lamhe A poem about third year. “I am a third year student and i feel it is prudent to point out to freshers they must be prepared for the pressures of me taking the piss out of them for the next year”. thank you.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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The !"#$%&&"'( Advocate This week: Burning consumer issues. Well, sort of.

If I were ten years younger...

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If I were 30 years younger...

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Do write in to the address at the top of the page with all your problems. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d also appreciate it if someone explained to me the point of those trainers with a slit in the toe area. Are they designed to make your foot look like the cloven hoof of a prehistoric beast. Why?

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GRAB!

OCTOBER.2.2006 COMPETITIONS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

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Free ticket around the world anyone? JUST COME back from your holidays? Absolutely skint and all you have to show for it is a head full of wistful memories and some dodgy photos and vids? How about exchanging your videos for AUS$10,000 (£5,000 to those who would have to get out a calculator like me!) worth of travel money? Lonely Planet have launched an online film competition ‘<3 Less Than Three’ to celebrate the creativity you young folk have when we’re in the throws of humour, passion and foreign inspiration. The film, lasting no longer than three minutes, must follow the theme of ‘Great Moments in Travel’, or at least an interpretation of it. ‘Interpretation’ is the key here I feel! As they will accept recreations of classic moments, even if it is set in your dingy kitchen or the Woody. Whether it be a chance encounter with a Thai monk, a dodgy adventure that went terribly wrong in Amsterdam or a life changing event, send your film or recreation of the moment, perhaps in a Kate and Jack Titanic style moment to Lonely Planet and you could be doing it for real all over again, for free! Send your clips to www.lonelyplanet.com/lessthanthree, or just visit the site to laugh at other clips and get some inspiration. To celebrate the launch, Lonely Planet have given us at Grab some

copies of their highly sought after and recommended guides. It is at this point that I begin to feel like a travel journalist, so I shall sit back and relax on my hammock, pina colada firmly in hand and describe what you itchy-footed type people could be getting your tanned hands on. Initially of course, you have to decide where on Earth you want to go. Lonely Planet’s Gap Year Book is a one-stop guide of essential information on planning, how much to save, what to pack, how to keep in touch and who to go with. The book is split into continents and gives the best routes, information about the locals, and the must-see attractions. Activity chapters give details on volunteering and how to earn some cash while exploring. Top of most would-be-travellers’ lists is Australia, imagined as paradise by surfers and beach babes alike, The golden beaches, baked red deserts and glamorous cities create a young and vibrant culture. The Australia guide has everything you need to make the most of your stay down-under, with over 1000 pages to guide you through your trip, and nearly as many maps. Roaming authors have listed the best places to eat, drink and sleep, and a full-colour environment chapter which demystifies Australia’s fascinating wildlife from bouncing ’roos and half-stoned koalas to

!"#$%&"'#%()*+%"'$ THE START of a new term can bring so many meetings, new timetables and information that sometimes it’s easy to lose your head and forget something. With the Palgrave Student Planner you will never forget your best friend’s birthday, your deadline, or, most importantly, pay day again as the planner is a complete self-management tool that is an ideal way to help us organise our lives and designed especially for us students. The Student Planner is also the only planner to offer study skills advice alongside diary pages structured to help with time management - a core area of personal development planning. There are updated tips throughout, including guidance on annoying little habits such as apostrophes, spelling, referencing revision and exams, as well as the dos and don’ts for managing finances! The planner also has a section for understanding that over-complicated and unnecessary university lecturer speak and jargon. Not only that but you also

get a handy free ruler and bookmark. Fantastic. Useful tips such as laundry symbols, cooking temperatures and conversions have their own section, as do useful websites, contact numbers and maps. For your chance to win one of five copies, answer the below question and email us at competitions@gairrhydd.com. What is the standard washing temperature for popping clothes in the machine? A) 10 B) 40 C) 100

sleepy wombats. How about then taking a swift flight northbound and landing in a beautiful, vibrant and overpoweringly exotic kingdom which is undoubtedly the best loved jewel in the south-east Asian crown, blending stupendous coastlines with aweinspiring mountains, chilled out tranquility with hedonistic party scenes. It can only be Thailand - a must for culture vultures, nature lovers and fun loving folk of all ages. Lonely Planet’s Thailand guide offers up-to-the-minute advice on what to do, where to stop and how to make the most of being foot loose and fancy free. Features include a fully updated section on travel possibilities in tsunami affected regions, a Thai language guide as well as a region breakdown, bursting with quirky detail and insider information. There’s also brand spanking new chapters dedicated to the heart warming Thai culture, religion and history. If you can’t afford it, or just don’t fancy the dizzying heights of South East Asia, do not fear. We seem to always forget that small place called Europe that’s practically on our doorstep. With so much to choose from - the northern lights in Lapland, fairytale castles in Transylvania, picturesque Mediterranean coast or the bright lights of Paris. Written for backpackers by backpackers, Europe on a

Shoestring lets you go further, stay longer, and pay less for a trip of a lifetime. There are extended listings for cheap and chic sleeps, tasty grub, über-cool bars and worldfamous festivals and bars. There’s also detailed culture coverage which puts everything from ancient Greece to flamenco dancing in context. Europe on a shoestring covers 43 countries, more than any other guidebook to Europe. To win a copy of one of the four books mentioned, just email the answer to the following question to us on competitions@gairrhydd.com. $10,000 in Australian Dollars converts to approximately...???... spending money for you? A. £3,000 B. £5,000 C. £15,000 If your aren’t lucky enough to win one of my four books, Lonely Planet’s Europe on a Shoestring (£UK 15.99), Lonely Planet’s Thailand (£UK 15.99), Lonely Planet’s Australia (£UK 16.99) and Lonely Planet’s The Gap Year Book 2 (UK £12.99) are all available from www.lonelyplanet.com and all good book stores.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.... YOU CAN be the fairest of them all with our Saks hair and beauty giveaway! New town, new ‘do? Or just fancy a bit of relaxation and pampering? Saks salons offer award-winning hair services that you would expect from the biggest and best hair and beauty group in the UK. Cut, Colour, Hair-Up, Weddings… whatever your need, Saks can deliver. All Saks stylists are trained to the same standards of excellence in hairdressing and customer care. What’s different about Saks is the consultation process, which they use to give you the right cut and colour for every individual. You’ll leave Saks with a bespoke style, that takes into account your face-shape, skin tone, personality and lifestyle, achieving an instant, manageable

result for the season ahead. For decades, Saks signature haircuts and colours have graced the heads of beautiful women and been published in magazines around the world. Each year Saks launches pioneering signature collections to inspire clients and hairdressers alike, making Saks the UK’s leading hair and beauty group, as well as now introducing their own brand of styling tools, Saksessories, and these, plus gift vouchers, all of which are available in salons and from www.sakstogo.co.uk. For your chance to be one of the beautiful people, just get an email to me quick-sharp and you can win one of six £10 vouchers that I have to giveaway. ...Look out for future competitions with Saks this term.

Welcome back folks! Hope you’ve all settled back in well and are back into the swing of uni life, have re-found your second home of the Union and counting down the days til the end of lectures already. To celebrate the beginning of term again, we have some pretty handy prizes to give away this week, whether you’re planning you’re next trip away, creating a new look...or just trying to sort out your chaotic life. For those new to this game - all you have to do is contact us on competitions@gairrhydd.com and cross your fingers! Have a good week. X

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FIVE MINUTE FUN

OCTOBER.02.2006 FIVEMINUTEFUN@!"#$!"#$$.COM

SUDOKO 1

5 5

3 7

4 1

HOW TO PLAY SUDOKO: Fill in the grid using only the numbers 1 through to 9. All the vertical and horizontal rows should contain the numbers 1 to 9. All the smaller 3 by 3 squares should contain the numbers 1-9. No row or 3 by 3 square should have the same number twice.

CROSSWORD 2

4) 77 percent of Yahoo! Mail poll respondents said they are more aggravated by weeding through spam than they are by cleaning a dirty toilet.

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6) Buddy Holly, along with fellow musicians Richie Valens and the Big Bopper were all killed in the same plane crash in 1959. Apparently, they took the flight because Holly wanted to get a good night’s sleep before their next gig.

True or False?

7) Shortly after recording 'Three Steps to Heaven', Eddie Cochran was killed in a car crash in Wiltshire, England. The song became a posthumous number one single in the UK.

1) Mamas and Papas star, Cass Elliot met with an untimely end when she choked to death on a sandwich in 1974.

8) Yasser Arafat, who was head of the Palestinian movement, died when he was in the vicinity of a suicide bomber.

2) The frontman of the band, Chigago, met the same fate as Johnny Ace by shooting and killing himself in a game of Russian Roulette in 1978. His last words were, 'Don't worry, it's not loaded.'

9) Cline's plane crashed in 1963 on her way back to Nashville, after performing a benefit concert for the widow of disc jockey Jack Call who'd recently died in a car crash. To add to the tradegy, Country star Jack Anglin was killed in a car crash on the way to her funeral.

3) Cooke got the wrong room in his motel, after returning from a party in 1964. The manageress, who lived in the room, felt threatened and shot him dead. 4) Playwright, Arthur Miller, was murdered by his brief marriage to wife, Marilyn Monroe. Monroe killed herself soon after. 5) Countdown host, Richard Whiteley, died days

10) The INXS frontman was found hanging in a Sydney Hotel room in 1997. There was some speculation that it was an ill-conceived sex game that went wrong rather than suicide. Answers: 1) True, 2) True, 3) True, 4) False, 5) False, 6) True, 7) True, 8) False, 9) True, 10) True

9 10 11

15 16

17 18 20

ACROSS

DOWN

1 Silly conduct (8) 5 Biography (4) 8 Speed of movement (8) 9 Detest (4) 11 Unproved accusation(10) 14 Cooking formula (6) 15 Although (6) 17 Housebreaker (3, 7) 20 Burden (4) 21 Light-hearted (8) 22 Current (4) 23 Shipwrecked person (8)

1 Hub of a wheel (4) 2 Royal mistress, --- Gwyn (4) 3 Native Australian tree (10) 4 Long seat (6) 6 Pictured in the mind (8) 7 Infinite time (8) 10 Legislative body (10) 12 Item of jewellery (8) 13 Glasgow’s country (8) 16 Large lizard (6) 18 Make beer (4) 19 Extremely (4)

SATURDAY 14TH OCTOBER

GREAT HALL, CARDIFF STUDENTS UNION

PLUS SOUL OF MAN. A-SKILLZ. D RAMIREZ. DYLAN RHYMES. SUMO HEAVYWEIGHT ALLSTARS & ZEROZERO RESIDENTS FROM 10PM TIL 4AM / TICKETS £12.50 PLUS BOOKING FEE Tickets available from the following outlets: www.ticketline.co.uk www.cardiffstudents.com Students Union Box Office Cardiff: 029 2978 1458 / Catapult 100% Vinyl: 029 2022 8990 Diverse Newport: 01633 259661 / D Vinyl Records Cardiff: 029 2049 4998 Jenius Pontypridd: 01443 407261 / Derricks Records Swansea: 01792 654226

FOR MORE INFO. WWW.SUMOHQ.COM

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before he was due to undergo major heart surgery.

New housemate done something stupid? Send us a photo of it!

3) During Bill Clinton's entire eight year presidency, he only sent two e-mails. One was to John Glenn when he was aboard the space shuttle, and the other was a test of the e-mail system.

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1) The world's first e-mail message was sent in 1971 by Ray Tomlinson.

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2) Unsolicited e-mail earned the name "spam" because it resembled a Monty Python skit where a chorus of Vikings drowned out other sounds by singing "spam, spam, spam."

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30 !"#$!"#$$

LISTINGS

OCTOBER.02.2006 LISTINGS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

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This week: social drama with Yanagai! Yanagai! Italian rock with Lacuna Coil and an introduction to the Sherman Theatre. We don’t want envelope openings/society stuff happening, send us an email and we’ll put it in.

Lacuna Coil @ The Point Sat. Oct 25 7.30pm

Listings Editor Jenna Harris recommends

taly isn’t known for its modern music. If you discount the Three Tenors and any other classical performers, you’re left with less than the total of Paris Hilton’s IQ after being divided by the size of her family fortune. Luckily, then, there is an exception. Lacuna Coil are an ethereal rock band who sing in English and aren’t painfully weird in a naff ‘Euro rock’ style a

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Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil. Insert: posing with the band. Tellingly, there are no pictures this big of the rest of the band, and none whatsoever of the bloke with the dreadlocks.

Spotlight on.. .

Chapter Ar ts

@ Senghennydd Road, Cardiff

Yanagi! Yanagi! @ The Sherman Thurs. Oct 5 7.30pm/ £13.50 Listings editor Rosaria Sguegila recommends

production that demands praise for its design, visual, lighting and music…” In these terms, Helen Thompson of the Age expresses her opinions concerning “YANAGAI! YANAGAI!” (which means “war cry”) for an interesting production realised by the association of the

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Listings editor Rosaria Sguegila reccommends

hen you look at the Sherman prospectus and see the writing which says: “much more than just a theatre” you may not be able to quite believe it, and you could think that: “it’s only an advert, for a theatre, what’s so special about that- it must sponsor facilities,” but after a visit I have to say that it is true: the Sherman is far more than just a theatre. J .7;-.$& $"4+0& +0-5+#-%& 5*& 7*+-#> -2+7*B& +0-5+#-& 8")15*$%& 5& #-;7> +5.72-<&V#--*&R"")&P5?W%&5*&-98-.> .-*+& 35#X20"1& 60780& 72& 7<-5.& ?"# +0"2-& )7<)"#*7*B& )4*807-2%& & 7+ 0".<2&6"#:20"12&5*<&21-875.&-;-*+2 5*<& .52+.$%& 34+& *"& .-22& 7)1"#+5*+%& 7+ 052&5&2-.-8+7"*&"?&+0-&)"2+&"#7B7*5. 5*<&21-8+584.5#&&)52+-#17-8-2&"?&"4# +7)-Q&+0-&!0-#)5*&72&+072&5*<&)"#-=

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Seth Lakeman Trio -12 Oct @The Point ...Goo Goo Dolls -12 Oct @ Students’ Union... Fightstar-17 Oct @ Students’ Union... iLIKETRAiNS-18 Oct @ Barfly... Ray Davies-19 Oct@St.David’s Hall... Hundred Reasons19 Oct @ Students’ Union... Stiff Little Fingers-20 Oct @ Coal Exchange... We Are Scientists-21 Oct @ Students’ Union...The Automatic -23 Oct @ Students’ Union... Graham Coxon-23 Oct @ Coal Exchange... My Alamo- 24 Oct @ Barlfy... GuiLLeMoTs- 26 Oct @ SU...Razorlight -28 Oct @ CIA....

!"#$rhydd

LISTINGS

OCTOBER.02.2006 LISTINGS@!"#$rhydd.COM

!"#$%&'()#(*"%+,(-#.()/'(*'&)(#0(1/2)3&(/2!!'+%+,(2"#.+4(52"4%00 to have to pretend to like stuff to fill up our page, so if you have any events/gigs

Monday

02/10

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative sweat fest.10pm2am. Free entry with NUS. £3 otherwise. X Factory @ The Taf The University’s student radio station shows off its best DJs. 9pm-1am. Free with NUS. New Noise @ Metros Alternative therapy for the musically depressed. 9pm-2am. £3 before 11pm. I-Candy @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ latest superclub. £3/4 NUS. Movie Monday @ Molokos DJs, new music, live bands. 7pm. Free. Live Nation presents Matt Costa@The Point Matt Costa is a singer/s ongwriter from Huntington Beach, California . He has three releases under his belt inclu ding a self-titled five-song EP in 2003, a full-le ngth CD entitled ‘Songs We Sing’ and a six song EP called ‘The Elasmasaurus EP’ in 2005. 7.30pm.£11. Shot films presentation@Chapter Art Discussion and presentation of short films by and for independent film-makers. Cinema Two. 18.30pm.FREE Atomised@Chapter Art This elegantly dark adaptation of Michel Houllebecq’s cult novel stars Run Lola Run’s Moritz Bleibtreu and Franka Potente in a story of sex and love. The intellectual crisscrossing between lives and ideas is the driving force of the film, while superb performances add depth to Houllebecq’s characters.8.30pm.£5.10.

Tuesday

03/10

Soul Motion @ Moloko Dead Men in Reno +Architects @ Barfly No, strike that, they're stark, raving bonkers. But with insanity comes genius; one minute thrashing out riffs and snarling canine vocals; the next kissing you better with melodic refrain and soaring harmony.7.30pm. £8.50. Forecast @ Buffalo BarA weekly clubnight. Something of a night of hidden treasures: Prepresenting under-represented music. www.weareforecast.com 8pm-3am. £6. Planet Rock@Clwb Ifor Bac Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth”. Drinks promotions and you can email song requests. Alternatively, myspace at www.myspace.com/planet_rock_club9pm2pm. £3. Stray Dogs@Chapter Arts Centre . Filmed in a documentary, neo-realist style, the film gives an insight into post-Taliban Afghan life, focusing on the effects of poverty and oppression on women and children.18.30pm.£5. Laughing Matters - The Edinburgh & Beyond Comedy Tour 2006@S.t David’s Hall Fresh from the Edinburgh Festival, four of the finest stand-up comedians come to the hall for an evening of pure wit Featuring double Perrier Award nominee and star of the BAFTA award winning series ‘The Thick of It’, Chris Addison with Russell Howard as host (Awarded Best Compere at the 2006 Chortle Awards).8pm.£12.

Pick Of The Day The High Society (ex-KingAdora)@Barfly Featuring maxi & nelsta (ex-King Adora) and a sleazy new band of reprobates... Pouting, preening, posing - they're so unfashionably excitable and blatantly sexual that you'd have to be dead from the waist down AND the neck up not to love 'em.7.30pm. £5.

Pick Of The Day Annie @ Sherman Theatre This heart-warming rags-to-riches story of little Annie’s adventures begins in the New York orphanage, moves on to the luxurious home of Oliver Warbucks and even journeys to the White House - it’s a glorious, inspiring story like no other.7.30pm.£8

Friday 06/10

Saturday 07/10

.. Access all Areas @ Sulus SU New Look Friday. Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. It should be a good night. 10pm-2am. £3.50/£3 adv. The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Music for those who love music. An indie and retro night that takes in the heady landscape created by the likes of Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Dusty Springfield. 10.00pm – 2.30am. £3.50/ £4. Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV compares an indietastic night of alternative music, from the Strokes to the Smiths. 10.30pm-2am. £5. Chaos @ Metros The hard rock night. £2.50 before 10pm. Full Fat @ Moloko Cheeky bootlegs to heavy funk, old skool classics, and jump up party breaks. Free entry before 11pm. Beneath The Surface & Loose Club Present:Victorian English Gentlemen's Club + Thomas Truax + Los Campesinos + Threatmantics + Gindrinker @ Clwb Ifor Bach VEGC are Cardiff’s latest soon-to-be big thing: a noisy three-piece whose music is a mix of ‘schizophrenic textures’ with a cacophony of vocals. Thomas Truax produces music from ‘sound scuptures’ that he has built himself, and uses a few ‘normal’ instruments as well. Los Campesinos are also pretty hyped at the moment (and three of them are section editors here at gair rhydd). 8pm. £5.

The Spirit Of Pink Floyd:Off The Wall (1) @ Coal Exchange Off The Wall (1) are a blues band named after a Little Walter harmonica piece, they play 1950s/1960s Chicago style blues with a bit of contemporary thrown in to the mix. £16. 7.30pm.

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Traffic (DJ and clubbing society) playing house music in the other. 10pm. £3.50. Blueprint @ Moloko Retro disco, future house, disco roots, drinks promos. Latin in the Express lounge. Free before 10pm, £3.50 after. Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. Hellbent! @ The Model Inn, Quay Street Cardiff city’s only rock night on a Saturday. 9pm - 2am. Delinquent @ Metros Alternative and new music mixed with the best indie tunes. The dungeon-like surroundings makes it even better. 9pm-4am. Free with flyer before 10pm/£4. Clwb Cariad @ Clwb Ifor Bach Contemporary sounds (downstairs) with a little bit of other stuff thrown in 10pm – 2.30am. £3/4. Beyond The Border International Storytelling Festival: Chirine El Ansary@ Wales Millennium Centre Broaden your cultural horizons. 1pm. Free Gol Presents: Combat Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bach Clash tribute featuring their best songs, from London Calling to White Riot. 7:30pm. Contact venue direct for tickets.

Pick Of The Day The Answer + Roadstar (Formerly Hurricane Party) + Airbourne (1) @ SU The Answer are a Northern Irish rock band who present a contemporary blend of rifftastic hard rock and blues. The othe two bands are more mysterious: Roadstar are simply just decribed as ‘rock and roll,’ and Airbourne (1) as ‘hard edged indie.’7:30pm. £6.

Wednesday 04/10

Thursday 05/10

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Clubbing for jocks, pretend jocks and those who love to dress up in costume. Suprisingly, it is a huge sell out. 10pm. £3. Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. On one, classic funk and motown, another indie classics and brand new music, and on the final floor, cheese. 9.30pm. £3. Panic @ Barfly The very latest and great Indie hits. 10.30pm. Free. Thank You For Smoking@ ChapterArts Nick Naylor, chief spokesman for Big Tobacco, makes his living defending the rights of smokers and cigarette makers in todayneo-puritanical culture.2.30pm.£2.50. The Heights @ Barfly "Anthemic, riff-righteous rock songs with a snarling, shrugging indifference!" –TheFly. We agree.7.30pm.£5. Sandi Thom@ The Point Even before her debut album, ‘Smile... It Confuses People’ reached the number one slot, preceded by the chart topping single, ‘I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker’, Sandi Thom is a phenomenon.. 7.30pm. Ring of Fire - The Music of Johnny Cash@S.t David’s Hall PJ Proby pays tribute to the legacy of music ofJohnny Cash. 7.30pm.£12

Livewire @ Barfly Metal. So much of it that they could open a steel factory. Probably. A dash of punk and hardcore adds season. 10pm. Free entry. Cheapskates @ Metros Alternative and cheese. pm-2am. Aperture @ Moloko Resident DJs. 8pm. Free before 11pm. Clubnight @ La Tropicana Hip-hop and R&B student night. 10pm. DJ Residences @ Buffalo Bar A nice mix of non re-issue funk 45s, soul, hip hop, and Motown. 9pm. £2/3. Neon Plastix @ Barfly This is music for the geeks sick of air-fix ,but not afraid to sniff the fumes.7.30pm. £5.

Pick Of The Day Quai des Orfèvres@Chapter Arts Centrerance’s two biggest male stars are reunited for this gritty, hard-boiled tale of honour and betrayal involving two highranking detectives, both tipped to succeed their retiring superintendent. They were once close friends, but now Klein (Depardieu) has succumbed to drink and corruption, and Vrinks (Auteuil) is determined to bring him down.6.15 pm.£5.10.

Sunday 08/10 Pick of the Day The Hop @ Buffalo Bar Resident DJs present 50’s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. Cult 50s films, drive in themes and extra large milkshakes are said to be involved as Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere, along with your chance to experience live acoustic acts, songwriters, bands and performers, as well as participating yourself if you so desire. 8pm-3am. £1.00 No Wax @ Moloko Bring your MP3s and you can be a DJ. I reccommend hijacking the venue and subjecting people to obsure indie bands (Terris, anyone?), or Wagner’s Ring Cycle. 7pm-2am. Free. Experimentica 06: Two Routes in Penarth: @ Chapter Arts. From 2pm (performances at 2:30pm & 5:30pm) until 10pm A performance and interactive installation by a mother and her daughter, who play a duet togther on an adapted piano. 2pm (performances at 2:30pm & 5:30pm) until 10pm. Contact venue for ticket prices and more information.

Bitesize Cinema@ Chapter Arts Devoted to showing the best short films made in a variety of genres. Held in Cinema 1. 5pm. £4.10 Room 303 Presents:Alison's Op + Itanics + Leaving The Fold @ Clwb Ifor Bach 8pm. More indie shenanagans. Contact venue for prices. Walter Trout @ Coal Exchange New Jersey-born guitarist who has been described as one of the best in the world by Carlos Santana, no less. Plays and sings a mixture of traditional, full on electric blues. Fact: He was a sideman with John Mayall as well as the legendary John Lee Hooker. 7.30pm. £15.

A rehearsed reading of the play by Frank Vickery @Chapter Arts An emotional soap about a lonely woman called Ellen. 8pm. £3. Field Music/The Keys (1)/The Shy Magnolias @ Clwb Ifor Bach Field Music are from the same scene as The Futureheads and Maximo Park. In fact, one member was the original Futureheads drummer, and one of thier many guest members Tom English is on loan from Maximo Park. The Keys (1) are another Welsh band doing good- they’ve already released their first album. 8pm. £5. The People Under The Stairs / Giant Panda @ SU Hip hop with Giant Panda and The People Under The Stairs. Contact venue for information. Education: Thurdsays @ Henry Africa’s Hothouse Cardiff’s newest student night, held in a cocktail bar. £2.25 for selected cocktails, £1.50 for vodka redbull, for more information visit: www.educate-yourselves.com. £3 entry with NUS all night.

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

34 !"#$!"#$$

SPORT

OCTOBER.02.2006 SPORT@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Insomniacs Anonymous !"#$%&$'('%)$*+%,-%./0)1*%"'2%$"/34%*(%2$+5/0.$%*1$%6"2%/,+1%*1"*%0+%7&8%9$)0+*/"*0('

Despite the untimely incident that occurred, demand to play IMG sport this season was higher than ever - enthusiastic students began queuing as early as 2am. !""#$%&'(#)&*$+*,#$-#$&.%#/&0$#1&2 $-#0%,+($%0#$1%+0#3"45#&$#6&'#-*#70+2&8 '-0*+*,9#:4$#(%;%0&"#$%&'(#&00+;%2 (%;%*#1-40(#%&0"8#$-#5%&$#$1%#04(1#&*2 &;-+2#2+(&//-+*$'%*$9 <=>#0%,+($0&$+-*#-/%0&$%(#-*#&#?@+0($ 3-'%#@+0($#(%0;%2#5&(+(?#)1+31#'%&*$ $1&$#$%&'(#1&2#$-#(1-)#4/#%&0"8#+* -02%0#$-#/&0$+3+/&$%9#<*#0%3%*$#8%&0( ($42%*$(#1&;%#&00+;%2#&$#A&'B#54$#& *%)#0%3-02#)&(#(%$#"&($#)%%.9# C$42%*$(#)%0%#&+'+*,#$-#%*$%0#$1%+0 (+2%#+*$-#$1%#@--$5&""#&*2#*%$5&""#3-'D /%$+$+-*(B#)1+31#)+""#-*3%#&,&+*#5%#+* &#"%&,4%#@-0'&$9# !(#&$#"%&($#@+;%#@--$5&""#$%&'(#)%0% $40*%2#&)&8#"&($#(%&(-*#@-0#$40*+*,#4/ "&$%B#($42%*$(#$1+(#8%&0#$--.#20&($+3 '%&(40%(#$-#%*(40%#&#/"&3%#+*#$1+( 8%&0?(#1+,1"8#/-/4"&0#(/-0$+*,#3-'/%D $+$+-*9# =%2+3(#E%$5&""#3&/$&+*#F%"%* G-*%(#(4''%2#4/#$1%#'--2#)+$1+*#$1% H4%4%#58#(&8+*,I#J<$?(#0+2+34"-4("8 %&0"8#54$#+$?(#,-$#$-#5%#2-*%9K <*$%0%($+*,"8B#$1%#@+0($#$10%%#3"45(#+* $1%#H4%4%#1&2#*%;%0#(%$#4/#&*#<=> $%&'#5%@-0%9#7--$5&""#$%&'#L&02+@@ L04(&2%0(#)-*#$1%#5&$$"%#$-#0%&31#$1% @0-*$#&*2#$%&'#'%'5%0#!*20%)#L&;%

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Simbec is currently recruiting volunteers to take part in clinical studies

Call now

Trial durations vary; you could fit us in during your spare time! Free meals & accommodation are provided whilst you are on a study.

0800 691995

For your free information pack !!!" #$%&'())*+*),)-*./

".$0

Football

1. Cardiff Crusaders 2. Real Ale Madrid 3. TWNN 4. JOMEC 5. MOMED 6. Inter Me-Nan 7. Uni Hallstars 8. Butthead FC 9. Esplanyol 10. Park Rangers 11. J-Unit 12. Myg Myg 13. Gym Gym 14. Socsi 15. Euros 16. English Soc 17. AFC Cathays 18. Zoology 19. Carbs KPMG 20. Havana Dragons 21. Thunderkatz 22. Chem Soc 23. AFC History 24. Japsoc 25. Economics 26. Law A 27. Law B 28. Psycho 29. Pharm AC 30. Boca Seniors 31. Arse’Alona 32. Thomas Tank Engin (Teams in blue are new)

REFFING HELL

Netball

IMG NEEDS YOU

Rugby

Why not try something new today! 1'2*)(&*'23 $&2.$&% 42 *).)5 #)2-26)')* $&,2 7-3 0)'(2$829:;;2+29<;;;2 4)7)'45'62$'2(/)2 4&* -(5$'2$82(/)2,(&43 =

IMG TEAMS 2006-07

Don’t be a Poll, be an IMG ref instead. Attend a refereeing course and earn £10 a game every Wednesday afternoon. It’s easy beer money, what are you waiting for? Course runs on Friday October 6 (10am5pm) and Saturday October 7 (10am12pm) Places still left. To sign up now, email img@cardiff.ac.uk

1. Socsi A 2. Socsi B 3. Automotive Engin 4. Locomotive Engin 5. Dynamo Tigers 6. Economics A 7. Economics B 8. Cardiff A 9. Cardiff B 10. IWC A 11. IWC B 12. Medics 13. Optometry 14. Carbs A 15. Carbs B 16. Pharmacy A 17. Pharmacy B 18. Christian Union 19. Gym Gym 20. SAWSA 21. Law A 22. Law B 23. (Space to be filled) 24. (Space to be filled)

Unfortunately, IMG Rugby is currently being restructured. But don’t panic - IMG Rugby will be up and running soon, but just a bit later than normal. If things go well, the competition should begin in late October. As usual, there will be ten teams in the tournament which should be played in a league format. If you have any queries or enquiries to make, please contact Martyn Fowler on the following email address: fowlerm2@cardiff.ac.uk

!"#$!"#$$

OCTOBER.02.2006 SPORT@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Europe Ryding high

SPORT

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Photo by James Perou

THEY SAY that money can’t buy happiness. And in sporting terms, money can’t buy nerves of steel, good fortune and world-class ability under pressure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CHAMPIONS: Europe’s hero Darren Clarke celebrates victory

Grand Day for Rowers

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46/$&-,")16,)*..*-13"/18)1*).$%8)(.*-1; ?6,)03")16,8)4%")6%+,)16-*3#6).$%8/"# (.*-1)/()/"4,&/2$,;e B01,-) %) (344,((03$) 4%=.%/#") $%(1 8,%->)B$,R):-*<,)%"&)S%""%6)9,$$/"# <,-,)(,$,41,&)1*)-,.-,(,"1)9%$,()/")16, S*=,):*3"1-/,()A"1,-"%1/*"%$)@,#%11% /")E1-%164$8&,; ?6,)4$32)6%+,)%)",<)6,%&)4*%46)0*16,)0*-164*=/"#)(,%(*">)<6/46)/()0*-7 =,-)W-,%1)L-/1%/")-*<,-)F%+/&)L3-1*"; ?6,) 4$32) 6%+,) %$(*) (,43-,&) %) ",< (.*"(*-(6/.) &,%$) %"&) %-,) $**5/"#) 0*",<)4*=.,1/1*-(;)A0)8*3)<*3$&)$/5,)1* Q*/">) .$,%(,) ,=%/$) 16,) 0*$$*</"# %&&-,((7 =%/$f4%-&/003"/+,-/18-*</"#;4*=

SPORTS WRITERS WANTED Want to cover BUSA or IMG matches? Email: sport@gairrhydd.com

!""#$%& '"(#& Welcome to my inaugural column of the year. I would like to take this opportunity to welcome all our new sporting students and also our returning members to Cardiff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`G>JJJ)0*-)!"#$%&'($!)&*+^ B&=/11,&$8>)/1)6,$.,&)16%1)A)&*=/"%1,& a*,)%"&)!&>)231)16,)-,%$)</"",-)/( 46%-/18^)A)<*3$&)$*+,)=*-,)4$32()1* #,1)/"+*$+,&)</16)03"&-%/(/"#)%41/+/7 1/,(; B"8<%8>)#**&)$345)0*-)16,)0/-(1)0,< <,,5()*0)1,-=>)%"&)#,1)1-%/"/"#^

Spor t !"#$!"#$$

WAITING: The teams queue outside the Union where the incident happened

Dave Menon reports from the Ryder Cup 2006

IMG ALARM !"#$%&'()$*+$),-./$')$)%01&+%$2'33)$24-($5+*-+$ 6'3.-+78$60%$4&9*)%4'%*-+$)%*33$9-&)$',&'1 A STUDENT FELL from the first floor of the Students’ Union as he queued to register his team in the IMG league on Friday morning. !"#$%#&'($')'*#"+,"#"+'#%"-*'."/ 0+1#+,%#.1"#2'"#&''.#.,3'*/#+,* &''.#0,$"$.4#1-"%$*'#"+'#5.$1.#617 ,#.-3&'7#16#+1-7%#1.#"+' 8'.4+'..2**#91,*#%$*':#;"+'7#%"-< *'."%#=-'-$.4#"1#4'"#,#>(,?'#+,* ,77$)'*#,%#',7(2#,%#@,3#"1#%'?-7' "+'$7#"',3#,#>(,?'#$.#"+'#(',4-': A"#,71-.*#B:CD,3#+'#0,%#",E'. "1#+1%>$",(#$.#,.#,3&-(,.?'#,.* '2'0$".'%%'%#7'>17"#"+,"#+'#0,%

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6'((#&-"#$"#+,%#&''.#,(('4'*#"+,"#+' 0,%#%$""$.4#1.#"+'#7,$($.4:#H'J" 0''EK%#gair rhydd 0$((#?1.6$73 %-?+#*'",$(%: I+'#$.?$*'."#+,>>'.'*#*'%>$"' "+'#A"+('"$?#5.$1.#>71)$*$.4 $.?7',%'*#%'?-7$"2#3',%-7'%F#,6"'7 (,%"#2',7%K L,3#%",7"#"+'2#&'($')'* $"#0,%#.'?'%%,72#"1#+,)'#%'?-7$"2 %",66#3,..$.4#"+'#=-'-':# A"+('"$?#5.$1.#>7'%$*'."#M,3'% N11*7116#%,$*F#G;-7#"+1-4+"%#,7' 0$"+#"+'#%"-*'.":#!"#0,%#,#"7,4$? ,??$*'.":#!K3#*'),%","'*#617#"+' &12#,.*#+$%#6,3$(2/#&-"#0'#,7'#,(( +1>$.4#"+,"#+'#0$((#3,E'#,#6-((

7'?1)'72: G;6#?1-7%'#')'.#0$"+#1-7#'J"7, %'?-7$"2#3',%-7'%#,??$*'."%#0$(( ,(0,2%#+,>>'.#"+,"#0'#?,..1"#?1.< "71(:O H1#166$?$,(#*'",$(%#,&1-"#"+' $.?$*'."#+,)'#&''.#7'(',%'*#6713 "+'#8"-*'."%K 5.$1./#&-"#"+'2#+,)' >71)$*'*#"+'#61((10$.4#%","'3'."F GA.#$.?$*'."#$.)1()$.4#,#%"-*'." 1??-77'*#,"#P,7*$66#5.$)'7%$"2 8"-*'."%Q#5.$1.#,"#BFCD#"+$%#317.< $.4:#I+'#8"-*'."%Q#5.$1.#$%#017E< $.4#0$"+#"+'#7'('),."#,-"+17$"$'%#"1 '.%-7'#,#%0$6"#,.*#,>>71>7$,"' 7'%>1.%':#

GH1#6-7"+'7#*'",$(%#,7'#,),$(,&(' ,"#"+$%#%",4'/#&-"#"+'#8"-*'."%Q 5.$1.#0$((#'.*',)1-7#"1#E''> "+1%'#,66'?"'*#$.6173'*#16#,.2#1-"< ?13'%:O# I+'#!RS#7'4$%"7,"$1.#>71?'%% ?1."$.-'*#,%#.173,(: See page 34 for full details of the IMG teams who registered

GAIR RHYDD AND QUENCH MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN ! REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE ! GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS ! THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS ! THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF UNIVERSITY ! SOPH AND SOME MYSTERY MAN IN A TREE K.I.S.S.I.N.G FIRST COMES THE WELSH CLUB, THEN COMES..... ! AGAIN, NO BLUE BAR THIS WEEK - NO ONE FUNNY IS LEFT IN THE OFFICE ! ALTHOUGH TV JOHN IS BACK ! WHICH IS BLOODY LOVELY !