gair rhydd - Issue 848

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SEPTEMBER.19.2007

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ISSUE 848 OCTOBER 01 2007 CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

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QUENCH GETS A MAKEOVER digitalfilmfeaturestraveldebate musicfashionbooksblinddate artsgayinterviews&more

STUDENTS on the

BEAT ! Combined student

and police efforts create a safer Cardiff

! Police provide highly

visible presence on popular student nights

Abigail Whittaker News Editor Launched this year through the ambition of a Cardiff student, the South Wales Police Student Initiative aims to create stronger links between the Police and Cardiff students.

Co-ordinated by Student Liaison Officer PC Bob Keohane, and Special Police Constable Sam Tappenden, who

works part-time in the force whilst reading History at Cardiff University, the scheme aims to reduce student targeted crime and ensure student safety.

Increased recently and operating from early evening until the early hours of the morning, officer foot patrols are providing a highly visible presence on student nights out.

Initially, patrols focus on student housing to deter would-be burglars, and later in the evening, move towards the

busy student areas to ensure students are safe when returning home.

With the support of the Students’ Union, a website is also being developed with a wealth of information on crime prevention. In addition, the Union are expected to create an advertising campaign for the scheme and are looking to involve the Student Volunteering Group.

Jonny Cox, Student’s Union President, said: “We support the venture

whole heartedly. It is not only the students’ personal safety that will hopefully be improved, but also the behaviour of our students when leaving the Union. This will provide great benefits for our community relations.”

The Police also intend to set up a student ‘Community Watch’ with the involvement of a series of representatives living across Cathays. Their responsibility would be to monitor the safety in their area and relay this infor-

mation to an officer.

SPC Tappenden, currently in his final year, said: “To make this work, the Police will need help from students. They are currently looking for volunteers to become student-police representatives.”

Cardiff is currently one of the safest student cities, with only five percent of students becoming victims of crime, compared to the national average of one in three.

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The last week... es

19 ...in numbers

13% of students will break a bone whilst at uni

5

>>> News fast 5 forward

- Neil Kinnock opens Cardiff Students’ Union’s new IT shop

4,500

15lb

£450

raised by RAG at the societies fayre

Jobs & Money

19 - Jobs and Money look at how HSBC

Spor t

were planning to charge for graduate overdrafts, but were overhalled by a facebook petition

31 - A Cardiff student has started an anti-racism campagin and has enlisted the help of famous faces from the world of football to support

b e w e v i s exclu content

undergrads enrolled this week

the average weight a student gains in their first year

31

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Go to gairrhydd.com for more student news

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SUMMER REVIEWED / FESTIVALS ROUND-UP / ERASURE

Plus find out how you you can prove you are ‘Britian’s Craziest Student’ and more...

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Battle of the Welsh titans

Will it be murder on the dance floor in the new series of Strictly Come Dancing?

William Taylor News Editor

The dance floor at Television Centre is to be set alight as Welsh competitors Gabby Logan and Gethin Jones go head to head in the new series of Strictly Come Dancing.

Blue Peter presenter Gethin Jones is hoping to wow audiences with his cha-chas and promises to give it his ‘best shot’.

Logan has the added pressure of competing against her husband, former Scottish international rugby

Piling on the

player Kenny Logan.

The sports presenter has already banned talk of the competition in their house.

She said: “At the moment we’re trying not to talk about it at all because the first time we did there was a small heated debate. Kenny was trying to teach me a waltz after two lessons, which I thought was a bit premature of his part.”

Kenny will be dancing with Ola Jordan, whilst Gabby will be paired with James Jordan.

Both couples will face stiff competition from Jones who is partnered with popular dancer Camilla

Dallerup.

Hailing from Cardiff, Jones is well known for his go-get attitude to challenges and sporting activities on the long running children’s television programme.

Last year’s final, which raised money for Children In Need, was watched by more than 12 million people and this year looks set to be bigger and better.

Tess Daly, the programme’s presenter said: “There’s going to be more bling and fake tan than ever before. And that’s just Bruce”.

Hitch to success Following last year’s success, preparation for the annual Morocco Hitch is once again underway in Cardiff.

The hitch, which runs during the Easter vacation, is completed in groups of two or three with departure dates arranged to suit those partaking.

Last year 30 students took up the challenge, which sets off from Cardiff and takes approximately six days.

Running since 1992, the hitchhike is organised by Link Community Development and last year raised £340,000 funds for improving school education and AIDs awareness projects in African countries.

pounds Abigail Whittaker News Editor Fending for themselves in the kitchen for the first time leaves new students at risk of developing the ‘Freshers’ 15’, experts recently warned.

Tradition shows that students tend to eat beans on toast, pasta, instant meals and takeaways wanting cheap food that is quickly prepared.

As a result the term ‘Freshers’ 15’ refers to the existing trend of undergraduates gaining an average 15lb in weight during their first year at university.

Fiona Beckett, author and food writer, said: “We’re constantly hearing about the importance of healthy eating in schools but forget that it’s just as important to eat well when you leave home.

“A poor diet will take its toll in terms of a decreasing ability to concentrate, lack of resistance to bugs and even succumbing to homesickness and depression.”

The British Dietetic Association has released ideas to help students eat well without spending a fortune; these include planning meals in advance and basing them around starchy foods and vegetables.

GETHIN JONES: He’s Welsh and he can dance

HITCHING: Cheaper than the train

Stealing more than a kiss

Why drunken, frivolous onenight-stands may cost more than you bargained for

Samantha Shillabeer News Editor Students who engage in one-nightstands are leaving themselves at risk of theft, a study has revealed.

Online student insurance provider, cover4students.com, found that claims for theft following ‘brief romantic encounters’ rose by 12% last year.

Research also suggests that around 89% of thefts following a one-nightstand go unreported because the victim feels guilty or embarrassed.

The most popular items at risk of being stolen are pocket-sized objects such as MP3 players, cash and jewellery.

In order to keep themselves safe, students are being warned not to drink too much or leave their drinks unattended and not to leave valuables lying around in their bedrooms if they bring someone home.

Martin Nugent, managing director of cover4students.com, said: “Students must remember that now they are at university they are responsible of their own personal safety.”

Cardiff University student, Ian Ralph, said of his experiences hitching last year: “We were met with kind offers of food, drink and housing... it was an incredible trip for a very worthwile cause.”

Hitches to Prague are also on offer for students looking to travel a shorter distance.

Those interested in taking part in the hitch next year should email cardiffhitch@hotmail.co.uk or attend the intoductory meeting at 6.30pm on Thursday, 18 October in the Birt Acres Room, Bute Building.

Graduates’ advantage Abigail Whittaker News Editor Completing a university degree continues to leave young people in the UK with a strong advantage in their earning power, claims an international education survey.

A report compiled by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation (OECD) considered graduates who left UK universities a decade ago and concluded that their earnings are on average 77% higher than non-graduates.

Amongst the wider 25 to 64 years age group the graduate advantage is estimated at 55%, with a particular benefit to women’s earning power when in possession of a degree.

An objective of the survey was to consider whether the expansion

of graduate numbers had ‘crowded out’ non-graduates in the current labour market. But it discovered instead that the rising number of graduates stimulated a wider growth in employment, and that non-skilled workers had more job opportunities too.

And yet, according to statistics compiled by OECD, the UK has dropped from 3rd place to 10th in terms of the proportion of young people completing a university education.

It also warns that the UK is likely to fall further behind with several countries expected to overtake us in the coming years.

At present the UK has an approximate 51% level of entry into higher education, significantly lower than Australia and Sweden.

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NEWS PHOTO: Ed Salter

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Battling the blues

A new student survey exposes the true loneliness behind the Fresher experience Corinne Rhoades News Editor Freshers find making friends their biggest challenge as they start university, a recent poll has revealed.

The research, conducted by the UCAS media site yougofurther.co.uk, cited not getting to know anybody as the top concern for new students, while over 70% of current students admitted to feeling lonely in their first year.

But with the growth of social networking sites, such as Facebook, the news has come as a surprise to some.

Jeni Fisher, a third year English Literature student, knew what to expect

LONELY: Sad student

Under lock and key Samantha Shillabeer News Editor Students living in private housing are being urged to make their properties as safe and secure as possible.

The areas of Cathays and Roath are at particularly high risk of burglary due to their student populations and often inadequate theft protection.

In order to help to prevent break-ins, PC Robert Keohane has issued the following advice for all students: •When you go out for the night, lock all doors and windows and leave a light on. Make your house look as though it is occupied.

•Do not leave any valuable property visible through your window •Make sure the front door of your house is always locked, even if you are in. Burglaries often take place when residents are asleep or in the rear of the house.

•Register your property on www.immobilise.com so you can recover it if it is stolen and then found by the police.

An alarm designed to activate when your door is opened is also available free of charge from the Property Letting shop in the Union, or at the security office on Park Place.

before she started at Cardiff.

She said: “Meeting housemates on the internet before I got to university put my mind at ease that I would make friends when I got there.”

Even so, for many first-years the fear of rejection overtook other worries, such as balancing academic and social lives and student debt.

More than two thirds of those surveyed also claimed that they knew students who regularly travelled home at the weekend due to homesickness.

Cardiff University student Annie Briars has just started in her first year.

She said: “It can be hard to make friends, even though people are

friendly, especially if you’re not one for going out on your own and forming conversation with new people.

“But stick it out and look out for things you’d be interested in and you’ll meet people with similar personalities and interests”, she continued.

The findings have led leading psychologist Dr Aric Sigman to formulate tips on how to survive the nerves.

She said people tend to ‘assume that all Freshers are naturally party animals and very confident. However, yougo’s research paints a very different picture and reveals that students can actually be very lonely’.

Cancer student out of pocket “No one should be financially penalised as a result of cancer”

William Taylor News Editor A Welsh student will not get back his £1,800 university fees after he was forced to quit his law course due to being diagnosed with cancer.

Originally from Swansea, and attending Manchester Metropolitan University (MMU), Chris Hamilton, is very upset by the lack of pastoral care he received when he told the University authorities of his illness.

A spokesman for Higher Education Wales said that individual institutions were free to decide on their own responses to such incidents.

The incident has prompted the

National Union of Students and NUS Cymru to lobby universities into signing up to guidelines that will provide better care to students who fall seriously ill.

Ben Gray, NUS Cymru president said, “It is abhorrent to charge someone who through no fault of their own cannot continue the course.”

Hamilton, now 27-years-old, is studying a similar law course in Swansea, after deciding not to return to MMU because officials had been ‘so clinical’.

A spokeswoman for Macmillan Cancer Support said, “We believe no one should be financially penalised as a result of cancer diagnosis.”

Better degrees come from overseas Corinne Rhoades News Editor UK university students spend too little time studying for their degrees, a higher education thinktank has cautioned.

The quality of an undergraduate degree in the country has come under fire after it was revealed that students spend an average of just 26 hours working a week.

A typical student week involves an average of about 14 hours of tuition and 12 to 13 hours of private study, according to the figures.

As such, the average UK student’s

workload is far lower than that of their European counterparts, with hours of study almost doubled in Portugal, whose average is at 41 hours per week.

Although the findings, carried out by the Higher Education Policy Institute, have angered students who spend over 20 hours in lectures alone each week.

Third year Pharmacy undergraduate Claire Dustan said: “We do about the average a week as compulsory so automatically have to do over 26 hours and sometimes it is annoying when everyone else seems to be doing so much less.”

Now fears that fewer international

The top 5 Fresher fears:

69%

making friends and not knowing anybody

57%

work and exams

53%

balancing social and academic lives

40% missing mates

39% missing family

students will come to the country to study from outside the EU could leave universities with both financial and academic problems.

Graham Gibbs, former director of the Institute for the Advancement of University Learning at Oxford University, said the figures indicated ‘a significant minority of UK students are enrolled full-time but studying part-time, with their university receiving funding for full-time students’.

But Universities UK remain cautious, warning against ‘sweeping conclusions’ based on the report.

SLEEPING STUDENT: life is hard

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Dr. James Thomas (1971 – 2007) Dr James Thomas passed away suddenly on Friday 17 August 2007 after a cerebral haemorrhage; he was thirty-five.

James had been a valued member of the School of Journalism, Media and Cultural Studies since 2001. His background was in History, and he completed his Swansea PhD on the Labour Party’s relationship with the popular press in 1999. He taught in the History departments at Swansea and Bangor before arriving at Cardiff where his research on politics, the media and the culture of grief spawned a dazzling and controversial monograph on the aftermath of the Princess of Wales’s death, Diana’s Mourning: A People’s History (University of Wales Press, 2002).

Empirically thorough and methodologically astute, James’s iconoclastic anti-establishmentarianism was at full throttle as he exploded the myth of a nation united in grief over Diana’s death through the reflections of ordinary men and women collected at

the Mass-Observation Archive. James quickly produced another major research monograph, Popular Newspapers, the Labour Party and British Politics (Routledge, 2005), which argued that the media’s support of Labour after 1992 reflected a shift to the right

by Labour rather than any fundamental change in political attitudes on the part of the tabloids. He was also interested in the role of the media in Wales, and was one of the founders of Cyfrwng: Wales Media Journal. He published a major report for the National Union of Journalists in 2004 about the role of Trinity Mirror in the Welsh media, which formed the starting point for an investigation by the National Assembly’s Culture Committee into the Welsh newspaper industry.

In his work James married a concern for the perspectives of ordinary people with a deep suspicion of the corporatisation of the media and the enduring influence of hierarchy, class and deference within its channels. This

Expect dangerous times ahead Abigail Whittaker News Editor One in four students can expect to be mugged, attacked or end up being taken to hospital during their university life, shocking research has recently claimed.

Dramatically, over 477,000 of Britain’s undergraduates, which total 1.8 million, will become a victim of crime or injure themselves during their years at university.

More than one in ten undergraduates will be taken to hospital, five percent will be the victims of a mugging and, when under the influence of alcohol or drugs, 20% of students will injure themselves.

With 350,000 students enrolling recently at their chosen university for their first year away from home, warnings are being issued about the potential dangers surrounding them.

Karma Insurance commissioned the survey which produced such astonishing conclusions, and a spokesman for the company, Brian Wright, said: “University is an exciting time in a young person’s life.

But while it can run smoothly for many students, there are a number of hazards that they should be

aware of.”

Whilst familiarising themselves with their new surroundings 10% of students will incur a break-in to their place of residence or become a victim of theft.

Up to 30,000 undergraduates will be attacked and subsequently left with serious injuries. In addition, 13% of students can anticipate having some broken bones, with a large proportion of these the result of a sporting activity.

Universities are now urging insurance companies to offer cover for attacks and broken bones with the injury count as high as it stands currently.

According to the poll, which questioned over 1,000 past and present students, the first term at university is the most dangerous.

It went on to say that the majority of muggings, accidents and breakins occur in the first month of the academic year.

Other common problems which students may potentially be faced with include food poisoning, rodent infestations, broken heating and rising damp.

And come January more students will be taken ill than at any other time of year.

reflected his fierce pride in his roots as a boy from the Rhondda Valleys and a product of the comprehensive school system. James returned to the Rhondda to live near his parents and the people who meant so much to him. He was a unique and inspirational teacher of courses which (re)ignited students’ interest in History as presented in television and film. He helped them look afresh at familiar cultural reference points and inspired many through his innovative classes. Students spontaneously recorded their shock and dismay at his death and have universally remembered his generousness, compassion, empathy, approachability, enthusiasm and, above all, his humour. Some recall his stories of a bruising Rhondda nightlife as a way of interpreting the films of Ken Loach, others his ability to turn discussions of football round to Jurgen Habermas (and vice-versa).

James was one of the most irreverent, witty, funny and invigoratingly profane conversationalists one could

hope to meet. A prominent and highpowered media figure at a major conference enquired condescendingly when introduced to James, ‘Who the hell are you?’ to which James shot back without pause ‘Who the f*** are you?’. This exchange says much about his attitude towards authority and his unwillingness to be intimidated by anyone.

He loved Lisa, his family, his friends, his home, teaching enthusiastic students, Cardiff City Football Club (though a committed Hammam sceptic), walking inordinately long distances to get anywhere, tap water, massive lasagnes, Orangeboom, missing trains, Pepsi Max, ham sandwiches, making you laugh and living his life without compromise. His untimely death has robbed the academy of a brilliant and committed voice, his students of a unique and irrepressible teacher, and his friends and colleagues of a warm and exceptional human being.

This obituary was kindly written by Dr. Lloyd Bowen, School of History and Archaeology.

Get connected

Officially opened by Lord Kinnock, President of Cardiff University, a new IT shop has been launched on the first floor of the Students’ Union.

Making IT equipment readily available to staff and students, the shop has been developed to ensure that Cardiff students have the equipment to support their learning experience.

The shop provides laptops and desktop PCs for rental or purchase with all computers pre-equipped for use on the University network.

Jonny Cox, Students’ Union President, said: “The formal opening of this facility is testament to the shared vision between the University and the Union in offering our students a world-leading IT solution.”

Taking the law into their own hands

Corinne Rhoades News Editor

Cardiff University has confronted the law with the start of its first ever Student Law Journal.

A University-wide project, begun by the Law Society, has been set up for students to publish their views and research while they are studying.

It is hoped that the book will catch the attention of law firms across the country.

The £1000 project has been sponsored by many big names, and writers are still needed to get it off the ground.

Carys Mair Lodwick, the Law Society’s academic officer, said it was also a chance to pursue law outside lectures.

She said: “It can be on any legal topic, from a discussion of the law relating to dentistry to the influence of international law.

“We also take case comments with a discussion or analysis of a particular

influential case or critique of current legislation”, she added.

The journal, and soon to be annual publication, will eventually be accessible as an e-journal to the public.

Carys, who is in her second year, said: “This is a great opportunity within Cardiff University for students to be part of an actual Law Journal.”

To get involved with the Law Journal contact Carys Mair Lodwick on lodwickcm@cardiff.ac.uk

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WORLD NEWS World News in brief Abigail Whittaker News Editor

Dead Man Waking

After being declared dead a Venezuelan man woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain as medical examiners began their autopsy.

Following a highway accident, 33-year-old Carlos Cameio was pronounced dead and taken for an autopsy.

But doctors realised something was amiss when he began to bleed and hurried to stitch up the incision that had been made on his face.

His wife later arrived at the morgue to identify the body, but instead found him moved into the corridor and alive.

Sticky Solution

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All prostitutes welcome Samantha Shillabeer News Editor

Prostitution in Hungary is to become part of the legal economy under a new government scheme.

The initiative, launched last Monday, now allows sex workers to apply for an entrepreneur’s permit which will let them give receipts to customers and become part of the legal economy by paying taxes and making social security contributions.

It is hoped that the scheme will make prostitution more acceptable in the country, and give sex workers the same rights as everyone else.

Agnes Foldi, head of the Hungarian Prostitutes’ Interest Protection Association, said: “Our aim is to make sex work become as accepted as any other job. Prostitutes come from the poorest sectors of society and at the moment it’s very hard for them to, for example, get a loan to buy their own home.”

She added: “With this project, we are trying to help a group of professionals, in what is called the world’s oldest profession, who have never paid

taxes in their lives.”

There are approximately 7,0009,000 full-time prostitutes in Hungary, with this number rising to as many as 20,000 during the summer tourist season.

The industry is worth an estimated one billion pounds a year, and the new scheme is set to benefit the government by generating revenue.

But Human Rights groups have said that legalisation and decriminalisation of the sex industry does nothing to help prostitutes.

Janice Raymond, of the US-based Coalition Against Trafficking in Women, said: “Hungary is not issuing entrepreneurial permits to aid the women in prostitution but rather to increase the state coffers with the additional taxes to be gained.”

As of last Monday, over 500 Hungarian residents had applied for the permit and it is expected that hundreds of others will follow suit.

Prostitution is currently legal in most EU countries, but the Netherlands is the only other country in which it has similar status to other jobs.

RED LIGHT DISTRICT: Gets the green light

You can leave your hat on A US man is charged with with nude robbery

German scientists have solved the age-old problem of how to get the last globs of ketchup out of the bottle.

They have designed a special non-stick coating that when applied to the inside of the bottle allows the red sauce to slide out, rather than sticking, without leaving a drop behind.

It is anticipated that the first bottles could hit shop shelves within two to three years.

When thrown away up to 20% of foods like ketchup are left inside the bottle.

Corinne Rhoades News Editor A bout of boredom was what led to the hold up of a US convenience store by a man wearing nothing but a hat, local reports have said.

The 24-year old man was arrested

by Pennsylvania police over a separate incident, when it emerged that he

had committed a further act of indecent exposure.

Carl Wagner was recognised by the authorities after he had exposed himself to two women in the town where he lived.

But while being questioned about his behaviour police realised he had previously been caught on camera entering a convenience store without his clothes.

ing his manhood with his hand, ran from the store empty-handed.

Police said that Wagner had admitted to the robbery and also charged him with open lewdness and indecent exposure.

When speaking to the court fully clothed, Wagner said his reason for committing the naked hold-up was that he was ‘bored’.

Jet-setting monkey boards flight undetected Abigail Whittaker News Editor

Double Trouble

Following in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment a lesbian couple in Australia had twin girls but are suing their doctors because they only asked for one child.

The women, who used a Danish sperm donor, are seeking more than 400,000 Australian dollars in damages, equivalent to £171,941, to help pay for the cost of raising the second child.

The case is being heard in Canberra where locals are overwhelmingly criticising the legal action after the birth of two healthy children

Carbondale police sergeant Thomas Heller said: “We put two and two together, it was definitely him.”

In the video, the naked man then proceeded to attempt to rob the store.

He demanded cash from the clerk, who refused to hand over any money.

The police were alerted to the scene of the stick-up, before Wagner, who was shown in the video sporting heavy tan lines and apparently cover-

MARMOSET MONKEY: Believes it can fly

Passengers on a recent flight from Florida to New York were stunned as a monkey climbed out from under a man’s hat and perched on his ponytail mid-flight.

The fist-sized marmoset monkey was apparently smuggled aboard a Spirit Airlines flight in Lima, Peru, where the owner’s journey had begun.

The jet landed the following day in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where the pair had to wait several hours before catching a connecting flight to New York, during which time the monkey still managed to remain undetected.

According to airline personnel Alison Russell, during the connecting flight people sitting near the man noticed that the marmoset, which normally lives in forests, had emerged from underneath his hat.

She said: “Other passengers asked the man if he knew he had a monkey on him.”

Following the discovery the monkey spent the flight’s remain-

der in the man’s seat and was well behaved.

On landing at La Guardia airport, New York, airport police were waiting for the man who was immediately taken for questioning; meanwhile the animal was confiscated and taken into quarantine by the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention.

It is expected that the monkey, nicknamed ‘Spirit’ for his spirited character, will be quarantined for up to a month and tested for possible diseases that could have put passengers at risk.

If he is found to be disease-free he will be released to a zoo, animal control officials said.

It does not appear that the passenger who smuggled the creature, which only weighed about a pound and hence was easily concealed, will face any criminal charges.

Though the incident has raised security and health concerns at Fort Lauderdale Hollywood International Airport where the monkey passed through customs and security screening without detection.

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INVESTIGATIONS

INVESTIGATIONS@gairrhydd.COM

Part time help needed. £5.50 p/h, excellent ben Needs to be a good communicator. So why does

With the non-sabbatical by-elections round the corner, gair rhydd investigates wh Lee Macaulay Investigations Editor The chance to play a part in leading Cardiff University Students’ Union is up for grabs in October’s by-election.

Seven non-sabbatical positions will be contested in the elections and nominations open from Monday October 1 for five days.

However, the by-elections were never the original plan for last year’s executive, with all the offices up for the vote next month being the ones that went unfilled at last year’s full executive election.

In the last few years, student political engagement has been at an all time low, with turnout being less than a fifth of the student body at Cardiff.

However, the trend isn’t restricted to Cardiff, with similar trends all over the country. It’s made all the more obvious

by Cardiff’s turnout at the last election , which was the third highest in the UK. So gair rhydd will be taking a detailed look into the role that non-sabbs play in our students’ union and how officers from Park Place to the NUS’s headquarters in London are trying to get students interested in representation again.

A non-sabbatical officer is a part time official of a Students’ Union that’s elected somehow. Being part time though means that they work for the union while doing a degree at University still. Non-sabbs at Cardiff could be split into two broad categories: representational and defined.

Defined officers like Quench Editor, Xpress Radio Manager and Athletic Union Vice President have their duties set by the constitution of Cardiff Students’ Union. However, representational officers like the Heath Campus or LGBT officer are generally expected to represent their minority (the NUS uses ‘liberation group’) or satellite campus.

The distinction becomes important because most of the positions up for

students for sabbatical officers who by virtue of their jobs aren’t students at the time. Kate Monaghan, former nonsabbatical and last year’s Health and Welfare sabbatical, agreed.

“I think that the sabbatical officers need to use the non-sabbatical officers more, as they are a great support and can be really well tuned into what students want on a day to day basis, as it is easy for sabbatical officers to lose

time officer of the union?

This year’s AGM saw the introduction of an hourly wage for non-sabbs.

They can earn up to £80 a week for the work they do. But the ‘incentive’ wasn’t introduced to bribe students into running according to last year’s exec; instead it was to give potential candidates who needed to work a chance to run.

Rowena Vassallo, Vice-President of

Non-sabbatical positions represent different groups within the student community and it is important that ALL students have this representation. by-election are representational rather than defined.

So why are non-sabbs so important to Cardiff Students’ Union? Jo Roberts, Women’s Officer for NUS Wales, explains how valuable she thinks that non-sabbs are to a well run Students’ Union: “non-Sabbatical officers have significant value in each Students’ Union. Sabbatical officers can rely on non-sabbatical officers to arrange student forums and gather information from students at a grass roots level to feedback into the Union.”

“Non-sabbatical positions represent different groups within the student community and it is important that ALL students have this representation.

It would be difficult for sabbatical officers, who already have a large work portfolio, to take on additional work, when non-sabbs can do it for them.”

So non-sabbs can be a link back to

touch with the student way of life.”

But what do some of this year’s nonsabbs want to accomplish? Ted Shiress, Students with Disabilities (SwD) Officer said: ”My major goal this year is to ensure all parts of the university fully comply with the Disability Discrimination Act and the Disability Rights Act. Sometimes it is all very well having able-bodied people making a building seem ‘accessible’ in accordance to a guideline set out on a piece of paper, but the question remains is it actually accessible to everyone?”

People still seemingly don’t want to stand for non-sabbatical positions though. In an election that saw a record number of candidates, many of the nonsabb positions were uncontested or unfilled. Yet, as many as seven candidates competed to be Societies, Postgraduate and International officer. Perhaps there isn’t enough of an incentive to be a part

The exception to the rule... gair rhydd explains the non-sabb self-defining row Non-sabbaticals will be more varied than ever before because of changes to the Cardiff Students’ Union constitution.

Certain non-sabbs used to have to be ‘self-defining’ when representing their minority groups. It means that to be elected Women’s Officer, Cardiff students would have needed to be female.

However, changes from last year’s AGM mean that this year, for the first time, students that don’t self define are able to stand for certain non-sabbatical positions.

In a nutshell, it means that a man could stand for Women’s Officer or someone that’s straight could stand for Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual and Transgender (LGBT) Officer.

The issue provoked harsh debate between those for and against it at the AGM. Jo Roberts, Women’s Officer for NUS Wales, argued against the change to the constitution which passed by a slim margin: “Firstly

“How can someone who is not disabled understand the needs of someone who is?” and perhaps foundationally, only someone who self-defines into these groups can understand their needs.

For example, how can someone who is not disabled understand the needs of someone who is? In order to understand what should be dealt with you MUST experience it yourself, otherwise how can you make decisions about campaigns when you have not experienced what you are campaigning upon?”

However, some Cardiff students did argue for the change. They argued that self-definition was against the equal opportunities policy that the constitution is grounded in and that if no self defining students were willing to take the position then why couldn’t one that didn’t be elected instead.

Cardiff is one of the only Students’ Unions to introduce such a policy and the change is one that NUS UK and NUS Wales oppose very strongly.

NUS Wales has stated that nonself defining officers will not be allowed to attend their liberation conferences to discuss NUS policy and NUS UK has said the same about their national conferences.

It’s not a hurdle that CUSU has had to cross yet but the upcoming by-elections may throw a spanner in relations with the NUS.

Cardiff Students’ Union, said: “I certainly hope that students will no longer be discouraged from standing for election for fear of also having to balance this commitment with a part-time job.

We recognise the amount of personal time our non-sabbatical officers give up in order to help the Students’ Union, and introducing a payment system was our way of rewarding this.”

Some unions don’t think we need officers. Instead, they have committees to represent minorities. Aberystwyth Guild of Students is one of the students’ unions that’s using a committee system to go with their non-sabb officers.

Sam Lumb, President of Aberystwyth Guild of Students, said: “Some of our posts require us to have sub committees because there is such interest particularly in sports and environment issues.”

Constitutionally, such a system is

possible here at Cardiff and Cardiff Students’ Union says it’s open to the possibility of change.

“It is therefore essential that we do not rest on our laurels, but that we regularly review - and look for ways to improve - the effectiveness of our democratic and representative structures.”

However, it still remains the case that students don’t seem to want to get involved with the election process.

Ted, the current SWD officer said: ”I felt a bit put off by the distinct lack of competition I faced. It instantly showed me how low the profile disability has in Cardiff thus proving how much work I have to do.”

But NUS Wales don’t think that students are disengaged: “NUS Wales can say that this certainly isn’t the case in other students’ unions in Wales. We have found this year that the more students’ union officers engage with us, the better their democratic processes and engagement of students, not only in union processes but also with an increase in contested elections too.”

It remains to be seen whether the NUS are right and that this year’s byelections will encourage more students to be involved in their union.

Hopefully the turnout will be better than last year’s 1.6% of the student body who wanted to vote for their nonsabbatical officers.

Nominations open on Monday October 1 and close on Friday October 5. The elections will take place on October 22 and 23. For more information, go to the Student Services Lounge on the Third Floor.

Representin’

Commentary by Lee Macaulay Non-sabbs are a vital part of our Students’ Union, doing many jobs that keep the things you want going.

There’s a weekly magazine, online radio station or charity auction for some that lets people know they’re doing their jobs.

However, non-sabbs that represent are working just as hard too even if you don’t realise it. Just because there’s no Solus night, printed paper or piece of audio doesn’t mean that they aren’t doing enough.

Being a non-sabb could look great on your CV or pay you enough for an extra few drinks at Come Play but it’s not just about that.

Non-sabbs are doing it to serve you, the members of Cardiff Students’ Union.

But if there is no representative non-sabbs then the happy shiny feeling that comes from knowing you’ve got someone to fight your corner isn’t really there.

The most worrying thing about

these by-elections though is that it’s not a fluke or even a couple of coincedences.

If less than one in five of us can be bothered to vote here and we’re the third best in the country, I feel for the rest of our Students’ Unions.

It’s a wonder that they have any influence at all.

Excuse my holier than thou speak but it isn’t difficult to vote when there’s a ballot box in nearly every teaching building.

It’s encouraging that the officers I talked to really wanted to encourage us to be active in their unions and to use a cliched phrase, ‘get involved’.

At the end of the day though, it’s not up to them, it’s up to the rest of us, the 22,981 of us that aren’t in the pay of the Union.

The ones that give away our student loan to the Union and expect something in return.

Voting is one of the ways they give us that.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.01.2007

9

INVESTIGATIONS

INVESTIGATIONS@gairrhydd.COM

nefits, use of a company car and free tickets. sn’t anyone want to be a non-sabbatical?

hether power, influence and, now, money are enough to attract good candidates

Who wants to be a non-sabbatical?

Hannah Davies Co-captain, Economics Netball and Xpress DJ “The only position that would really interest me would probably be Xpress Station Manager. I wouldn’t do any of the other ones unless there is better publicity for them, better perks and more awareness of their roles.”

Positions vacant

Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Transgender Officer Women’s Officer

Welsh Affairs Officer

Huw Thomas CUTV Controller (proposed future nonsabb) “I’m not bothered about not being paid because I enjoy doing it. In fact, I think it’s a bit of a joke that non-sabbs get paid when there’s plenty of people out there who would probably do if for the experience rather than the cash. Saying that it’s not a big wage. The only thing I really feel aggrieved about is that I don’t get free tickets for Solus.”

IMG Chair Mature Students’ Officer

Rich Collins Xpress Radio Station Manager “I’ve really enjoyed being a part of Xpress and I wanted to take it further so I ran for Station Manager. I would never really have wanted to be any other non-sabb because I’ve only ever been involved in Xpress and I don’t think anything else would really persuade me otherwise.”

...in numbers

17.1%

19

paid officers of Cardiff Students’ Union

1.6%

turnout for 2006’s full but only executive turned out for elections the same year’s by-elections

This year’s by-election voting days are:

22nd/ 23rd Oct

Postgraduate Support Officer Health and Welfare Support Officer Want to write for Investigations?

Come to the Student Media Recruitment Party in Solus on October 1st at 7pm.

10 gairrhydd

OPINION freewords

Est. 1972

New and improved IMG Every Wednesday afternoon thousands of students take to the sports pitches to compete in IMG matches. The restructure of the tournament’s formula is clearly a positive step forward from the AU. With eight more football teams added to the league, more students will be able to participate, providing more opportunity for keen sports players.

The lighthearted (yet very serious) tone of IMG means the tournament lends itself to being an excellent social activity. For many love of fellow team members is equal to the love of the game.

But this new formula will not just continue to enhance students’ social lives, but their academic experience also. Alligning each school with a team and encouraging students to play for their own school, will allow students across the years to consult on course related matters. Granted, this may not be a priority for some players, but having an older and wiser peer to consult in difficult times can only be beneficial.

Full details of IMG changes and details about registration can be found on pages 31 and 32.

Elections are coming Second and third years will more than likely remember the chaos that took over campus last April.

Election fever gripped and irritated the student body as fancy dressclad, slogan-screaming wannabes tried to get you to vote.

Although all of the full time sabbatical officers were elected earlier in the year, at present there are still six positions on the executive still vacant.

Today sees the opening of nominations for the non-sabbatical by elections.

The non-sabbatical posts exist as a means to represent all members of Cardiff Students’ Union. It is crucial that people run for these positions. With these positions filled the Student’s Union can represent its students most effectively. Non-sabbatical officers do have the power to campaign and make changes, but whilst the roles are left vacant no changes can be made.

Nominations are open from 10am on October 1st and close at 5pm on October 5th.

Our condolences As gair rhydd went to print it was announced that Cardiff graduate Bethan Jones died as a result of severe burns sustained in a plane crash in Thailand earlier this month. gair rhydd would like to offer our deepest condolences to the family and friends of Bethan.

Editor Amy Harrison Deputy Editor Ben Bryant gair rhydd Co-ordinator Elaine Morgan News William Taylor Abigail Whittaker Samantha Shillabeer

OCTOBER.01.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Electioneering

If there was an election tomorrow, who would you vote for? If the BBC is to be trusted, it’s time to start thinking about it.

David Irving weighs up the chances of the main players

T

he dull wits of most of the news media have once again been confirmed this week as they follow like rats Gordon Brown’s election tune. By repeating what are effectively no more than rumours the media has become Labour’s most valuable election tool: a puzzlingly ironic feat post-Hutton.

Brown’s government has the clear home advantage in this political game as the Prime Minister may call an election at any time of his own choosing within the next two years or so, keeping the Tories permanently on the hop.

However, any prospect of Cameron being able to pull on a blue cardigan and get really settled into the task of losing the next election has been utterly abstracted by the BBC’s insistence that the election is going to be tomorrow.

But tomorrow will never come.

The BBC seems determined to cause a financial meltdown by constantly saying that there’s going to be one There’s a clear history of Tory leaders becoming less popular as their time at the helm drags on: Churchill, Heath, Thatcher, Hague, the quiet man whose name isn’t worth a mention and Count Howard. All of these people were wellliked at first, then declined in popularity. As such, it is reasonable for Brown, whose own popularity has proved stoic for some ten years, to wait for Cameron to suffer the inevitable sharp stabbing pains in his back and go for a ballot.

Indeed, the sure sign of desperation in a Tory leader is when they start attacking immigration: when Cameron goes for the Poles, Brown should go for the polls.

Already Cameron’s finish is beginning to scuff as be finds himself divided between the traditional Tory values of flogging the poor and his own rebirth as a green campaigner.

As he prays at the altar of the environment it seems inevitable that the next hymn on the order of service will be a requiem. Admittedly, environmental issues have proved a secure method of allowing the Tories to propose middleclass tax cuts in favour of vague ideas about ‘green taxes’. But with the coming credit crunch that seems inevitable

Corinner Roades Investigations Lee Macaulay Politics Tim Hewish Editorial and Opinion Huw Davies Chris Croissant Sport George Pawley Jack Zorab

VOTING: Yeah! now the BBC has made the self-fulfilling prophecy that we’re all doomed, it seems unlikely that Cameron’s scheme will continue to enjoy support among the mindless middling sorts who think flying to Malaga only once this year will save the polar icecaps.

Yet, that the BBC seems determined to cause a financial meltdown by constantly saying that there’s going to be one suggests that they may not be backing Brown as much as their Tory teasing would suggest. Indeed, Brown may be wise to call an election before his beautifully-crafted economy buckles under the strain of our buy-nowpay-later spending habits.

What Mr Brown may always rely on is the talent the other parties possess for screwing things up for themselves

Stephen Florey Pete Dean Scott D’Arcy Listings Josie Allchin Dan Jones Letters Emily Akers GRAB Tom Bentley Hannah

Jobs and Money Jess Best Features James Temperton Jenny WIlliams Emma Thomas Problem Page Ted Handsome Lonely Hearts Queenie Five Minute Fun

Though, on the other hand, he may find that when everyone starts selling their 3-series to pay off their credit cards he’ll be more popular than ever, as the Tories’ economic record is not exactly sterling. Still, some voters may plump for the small ‘c’ conservatism of Ming the Merciless (real name Menzies Campbell); after all, a man who can remember rationing is bound to be frugal with our money.

What Brown must try and achieve – and this is by no means an easy feat – is to find the optimum point, at which Cameron has alienated all Tory voters with his smoke and mirrors policies and at which Ming is no longer awake in the afternoon, to call an election. He may then find himself commanding the kind of majority enjoyed by Blair back in the sunshine of 1997.

However, if Brown chooses his moment wrongly he may find himself blamed for the worsening economic situation, his failure to offer a referendum on the new EU treaty and whatever lingering bitter taste of Iraq that remains. These issues are sure to sway a few voters who haven’t really been paying much attention.

Rhys Trigg Picture Editor Ed Salter Online Editor Paul Springett Proof Readers Andrew Rennison Aisling Tempany

But what Mr. Brown may always rely on is the talent the other parties possess for screwing things up for themselves. The Liberals, for example, have been offered power this year both

It seems inevitable that the next hymn will be a requiem in Scotland and here in Wales and have run screaming, forcing the minor parties to side with Labour to form any meaningful partnerships.

It’s true that there is a fair proportion of the electorate, most of whom keep their teeth in a glass, that will always vote Tory so long as they stay short of actually adopting a red rose as their logo. But with arthritis preventing many of this True-Blue blue-rinse brigade from putting down an ‘x’, the Tories may need to rely on Cameron’s appeal to the young people. Although, to be honest, if the Tories are relying on young votes they may as well rely on Boris Johnson to run for Mayor of London. Oh, hang on...

Address University Union, Park Place, Cardiff, CF10 3QN Web www. gairrhydd.com Email gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com Advertising 02920 781 474 Location 4th Floor Students’ Union

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.01.2007

11

OPINION

OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Rock the vote Cat Fight British politics is stagnating. Our parliament doesn’t represent us and no one wants to vote.

It’s time for action. It’s time for a new voting system. Wendy Woodhead explains why

What’s wrong with naming your cat ‘Cookie’? And what’s so good about ‘Socks’? Rose Beynon studies the latest Blue Peter row

“I

PR has been introduced in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland but England is still lagging behind The problem with FPTP elections is the disproportionate conversion of votes into seats. Seats are only dependent on which party managed to secure the majority vote in each constituency and are regardless of a number of key factors.

These can be the different sizes of constituencies, the numbers of those registered to vote in each constituency and the turnout compared to other constituencies. It only takes a constituency with a low turnout but a Labour majority to win a seat. At the last General Election in 2005 Labour won only a third of all votes cast (and remember a whopping 61.3% turned out to vote) but over half of the seats in the House of Commons. Despite only a third of all voters wishing to be represented by Labour, FPTP allowed them to remain in power.

To highlight this discrepancy some more, in 2005 Labour were only in the

S

ILLUSTRATION: ANDREW STYLES

f there is hope, it lies in the Proles” – at no point in recent history has Orwell’s statement seemed more redundant. The British have never been so inert, which begs the question: what has the last decade of nanny state politics done to us?

At the heart of our inertia lies the massively undemocratic electoral structure. Our current First Past The Post (FPTP) voting system is the biggest cause of voter apathy, allowing the party with the majority vote share into power, regardless of how the rest of the nation voted. How often do we hear, or even say ourselves, that we won’t be voting because it won’t make a difference?

When Tony Blair led New Labour to power in 1997 he promised a referendum on electoral reform. It took Labour four elections to get into Downing Street – so desperate were they that they decided proportional representation was the key. During his ten years in office no reform was ever introduced.

Gordon Brown has since trodden in Blair’s footsteps. A report into the prospect of voting reforms was commissioned last November and is not expected until this December. A leaked draft this summer makes reform look increasingly unlikely, fuelling more scepticism from supporters who suspect that the real reason for delay is to give ministers a chance to tailor it to their needs. With the enjoyment of power comes the reluctance to let go of it.

majority by 800,000 votes (Labour: 9.57 million, Conservatives: 8.77 million) and yet they secured 55.1% of seats while the Conservatives managed 30%. Moreover, the Lib Dems enjoyed 5.98 million votes but only 9.6% of the seats. In 2005, even if the top three parties had secured the exact same number of votes Labour would still outstrip the others with 317 seats, with the Conservatives owning 202 and the Lib Dems a mere 94.

So how can such unjust political practice go unnoticed? Since the introduction of parliamentary politics our more radical forefathers have been rallying against the Government not only for the right to vote but also over the injustices of the electoral system.

Unfortunately, the importance of democracy and civil liberties has been lost to us.

At the last General Election in 2005 Labour won only a third of the vote but over half of the seats in the House of Commons PR has been introduced in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland while England is still lagging behind. The Government might complain about

low turnout but what do they expect when we don’t have a voice? They trawl out adverts to encourage voting but in reality its effect is negligible while they ignore the need for electoral reform.

There are many forms of proportional representation and there are also many advantages, namely that each vote for each party or representative would count, creating a parliament composed equally of those that the country elected.

Admittedly, there are also some valid arguments against PR: particularly fears that the system would appear more complicated and that a coalition government would lose direction. However, in a state such as this these arguments no longer stand up. Yes, a coalition government can always create friction between extremist parties but only because it would force ministers into confrontation with one another: the job we look to them to do.

Once people stop feeling cornered into voting Labour or Conservative perhaps we will see a more level contest. Seventeen years ago saw the last of the motivated classes taking to the streets of London; today those people have been made comatose by the Government’s refusal to give them a voice.

The thought that we are meant to be preaching to other countries about the value of democracy is laughable; this country is not a democracy without proportional representation.

o once again, the BBC is in the headlines for all the wrong reasons. This time the scandal that threatens them involves the most hallowed of all children’s shows: Blue Peter.

The first mistake they made was having the insane idea of letting the children viewers vote for a name for the new Blue Peter kitten. As Supernanny teaches us, choice is all very well, but within boundaries. Given this huge responsibility, the children chose a name that the Blue Peter producers deemed too inappropriate to allow – so they overruled it. This has led to public apologies and the sacking of ex-Blue Peter editor Richard Marson, but what was so shocking about the name in question?

If you watch the show (I don’t judge), the cat in question is Socks.

You may have seen his fluffy self snuggled in Gethin’s caring yet manly arms. However, Socks is not the name the viewers voted for. The BBC says that the name the kids wanted was Cookie, but that begs the question: what’s so outrageous about Cookie?

Children’s TV has always been littered with a bit of filth The more convincing idea is that the name meant for Socks was what one broadsheet carefully described as “a variant of ‘Puss’”…you with me? It is this that has caused the media to rename the crisis ‘Pussygate’.

Whilst I struggle to see the episode as anything more than a bad idea poorly handled, perhaps the social and moral issue it provokes is something more challenging.

there was Rainbow, which in hindsight was both ridiculously racy and freaking hilarious.

The point is, however, that this can only be commented on in hindsight because at the time we didn’t have a clue. I know I wasn’t the only one talking about doing it long before I knew what it was. The children might have clicked that pussy was a silly word but I doubt it would lead to their corruption or even an understanding of the word’s meaning. Innuendo works on its sheer cluelessness; you laugh if you get it, you’re blissfully unaware if you don’t.

Sex is going to be something kids find out about and changing a cat’s name isn’t going to stop that In a society where sex is pretty much everywhere, what difference does one pussy make? If children are so desperate to be misled then all they have to do is wait twenty-five minutes to hear the bikini-clad inhabitants of Ramsey Street crack jokes about thin walls.

Sex is going to be something kids find out about and changing a cat’s name isn’t going to stop that. All ‘Pussygate’ has achieved is to dull that glint of the Blue Peter Badge – not save some lost, innocent childhood. If Blue Peter really wanted to be a lustfree zone, why did they hire the former Miss Ireland and the gorgeous Gethin Jones as their presenters?

Like it or not, naughtiness is a British institution. It wasn’t that long ago that Mrs Slocombe’s musings on her

SOCKS AND COOKIE: A bit of filth

The relation between children and sex is always going to be something difficult to understand or even talk about, but I don’t think that means there is no room for a little innuendo in children’s television. In fact, children’s TV has always been littered with a bit of filth. You only have to look as far as Captain Pugwash. Then

pussy in Are you Being Served? was considered good family entertainment. We are a nation that has Carry On films and dirty cartoon postcards as a tradition. Innuendo is one of our favourite types of humour. Its appeal is in its unintentional rudeness; its naughty giggles. You couldn’t get more harmless comedy if you tried.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.01.2007

OPINION

L r w Mi L o D

THEMILLWORD@gairrhydd.COM

the...

13

Setting an exam-ple I

n many ways, it has been a very atypical summer. Floods of almost biblical proportions, David Cameron finally revealing his true blue colours, a distinct lack of controversy in Big Brother. But one thing which has become a sadly predictable part of every summer break is the unseasonably frosty onslaught of negative media commentary sparked by the exam results.

You’ve all seen the sort of report I’m talking about. Headlines that scream something like ‘A-Levels ARE getting easier’ (Daily Mail’s creative use of capitals) followed by an incendiary comment by - for instance, Sir Peter Williams - an advisor to Gordon Brown on lesson reform - that goes along the lines of, ‘Over 20 or 30 years, I don’t think there is any doubt whatsoever that absolute A-Level standards have fallen.’

It’s another familiar case of what the media giveth, the media can take away.

While the news and the, statistics seem to indicate a thriving educational system, the columnists and editorials are at pains to prove otherwise. As if suffering from a multi-personality disorder, on one page a newspaper will tell the nation’s students, well done for getting the highest pass rate this country has ever seen, only on the next to declare that today’s grades are all a sham.

More often than not, they will hark back to the glorious ‘good old days’ of proper education when all students would receive the qualifications they had earned through hard graft and being clever, like. I mean, today, exams are a piece of cake, aren’t they? Most of us have had a senior relative inform us why we whipper-snappers don’t know we’re born when it comes to modern examinations. Only two hours long, you say - in my day, they went on for at least six. You’re allowed to take books in with you, oh no, we had to remember all we needed. Calculators?

Past papers? Surely they must count as cheating.

Everyone knows this is rubbish.

All the hours each student puts into preparing for GCSEs and A-Levels stand testament to the fact that they are NOT bloody easy. Maybe different from thirty years ago, but by no means

Daily Mail

N

DISASTER AHEAD: every year the media warns of education catastrophe, but its all talk and no action Now I’m as big a cynic as the next guy. I’m not going to accept all is

The trouble with the media... is that the disaster story will always sell a hell of a lot more papers than the success story fggfgdgfgffgfgfggfgfgfggf easier. Granny Mildred and Great Uncle Zak, I can forgive, but enough is enough when it comes to the media.

So listen up, The Media. Stop doommongering about the country’s IQ dropping quicker than Northern Rock’s customer satisfaction levels. Think for one second just how demoralising this constant rhetoric might be having on each and every school/college leaver and worker, year by year. Is it a downward spiral, after all. While the A-grade pupils are told their grades are more and more easily obtained - a trend which I’m sure will continue when the A* is introduced to A-Level assessment in 2010 - imagine how soul-destroying it could be to the student who has put everything into their studies to come out with Bs? Cs? Ds and below?

As Ed Balls, Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families pointed out, “It makes no sense to compare… today’s exams with those from decades ago. [Derogatory reports

can be] demoralising for teachers and insulting for pupils who have worked hard all year.” For once, this politician’s namesake besides, Balls is not talking bollocks.

What that 96.9% A-E A-Level pass rate which everyone was clamouring about this year overlooks is several factors. Only just over 50% of 17-yearolds enter A-Levels, with some of these dropping out, leaving, you’d expect, those who want to work toward getting their university entry grades. It mustn’t be forgotten that students have chosen their subjects, and have the opportunity to reconsider their courses either, which should ensure high satisfaction.

So is it that incredible students should be performing so well? Ed Balls claims that in 2006, just 4% (23,000 students) received the much publicised 3 or more As. When you consider Cardiff University alone takes on over 5,000 new students each year, it isn’t so great a number.

hunkydory because the politician says it is. No denying, this country’s education is riddled with problems; there needs to be stricter policing of coursework; continual re-evaluation of the grading system, considering universities and employers; more safeguards put in place to avoid assessment blunders (as previously reported in gair rhydd); and much more integration with vocational training. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

But after more than twenty years of parroting the same old debate about political targets, youngsters becoming thicker, and Britain losing its academic prestige, isn’t it time the media got a little more proactive, explored alternatives, and let new, constructive views be heard? Suggest ways that an underfunded and under-resourced educational system might be improved as opposed to sitting back and watching that iceberg get ever closer.

The trouble with the media, and perhaps more worryingly, us - the readers, is that the disaster story will always sell a hell of a lot more papers than the success story.

That’ll be the day...

September 28 was ‘Ask a stupid question?’ day (yes, it’s American), so after hammering my head against the bathtub for ten minutes - please don’t try this at home (housemates won’t be impressed by the mess in

...in the papers

the bath) - I asked myself, ‘Why it a give not try?’ and here’s a few stupid questions I came up with.

Is there a posh version of the Job Centre, like the Job Bistro, where people who have no financial need

to work go when they’ve ‘resigned’?

Cough Mourinho cough.

Does Keira Knightley’s Chanel perfume advert have a better plot than Atonement?

Is Madeleine McCann the first and only child that has gone missing in the world ever?

If the summer goes tits up in India, do they say they’re having a British summer?

ot another Facebook news story, I hear you cry, but I’m afraid it’s true.

A war has begun with the creation of the group ‘Get Huntley off Facebook’.

That’s right, the Soham murderer, Ian Huntley, has his very own Facebook profile - thought to have been created by a female admirer (admirer?) I dread to think which applications he’s got.

Still, while the virtual mob wave their virtual pitchforks, with the founder of the group, Andre Smith, claiming, ‘The likes of evil scum like this should not be allowed on this friendly safe site’, certain questions are raised. His crimes may be unforgivable but what exactly is this ban going to achieve?

Are we to start interrogating the criminal activities of every member of social networking groups? Surely, publicising this matter is causing more harm than avoiding it. What’s the betting Huntley gets more ‘friend requests’ now than he would have done if the ‘Get Huntley off Facebook’ group had never been created?

The Observer

A

fter a ‘spate’ of road accidents caused by youngsters, including one on the M4, just outside Newport, driving safety groups are calling for new teenage licence-holders to be banned from driving with young passengers after nightfall.

Statistics show again and again that the vast majority of accidents are caused by the under-25s, hence astronomical insurance rates. On the other hand, is this really the solution? Surely, there are more vulnerable groups such as OAPs and children about during the daylight hours? Aren’t restrictions likely to breed more frustration at the wheel; encourage a culture of gung-ho teen drivers, daring to drive in groups after ‘curfew’ and willing to act more recklessly on the roads to escape the law? Which raises another issue: how would such a ban be effectively policed? Wouldn’t there need to be much greater road surveillance?

Of course this doesn’t affect me as I’m yet to pass my test. I’ve only failed once (who said I’m bitter?) It’s not as if I came close to running anyone/thing over. Doesn’t that make me a pro?

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.01.2007

LETTERS

LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com Welcome and croeso to gair rhydd’s letters page, the place for students to have their say about the things they care about. So, if you have an opinion on any topic we would love to hear from you. Contact us at letters@gairrhydd. com or you can voice your opinions on specific articles at gairrhydd.com. We look forward to hearing from you.

A Fresh Lick of Life Ironic U.S.A Dear Gair rhydd,

Dear Gair rhydd,

First of all I just wanted to shout out a big welcome to all the freshers after reading the freshers edition of the paper a few weeks back; an awesome edition I must say!

I am so excited about a fresh bunch of students coming into Cardiff to liven the place up and get it buzzing after suffering a dreary summer stuck here working in the ghost-town!

All I want to say is lets rally everyone together and, get some mahem on the go! Freshers parties must be everywhere, drunken students lining the street, fancy dress in all corners of the city centre and hopefully some exciting new ideas to liven up the nights at the Union.

We all love Cardiff, and it’s a great place to be, don’t get me wrong all you new-lings, but we need to make some changes in the Union nights this year to get a bit more variety in! Slowly the same DJ sets, and saucy fancy-dress, week in, week out, was starting to drag a bit by the end of last semester so it’ll be great to get some new nights moving!

September the 11th is always going to be a difficult day. I understand the pain the families still must be going through, of victims lost, heroes who suffered, and all of those affected.

But this year, tainted by the blatent visions of the mess in Iraq, I felt almost too ironic to feel bad, if that makes sense.

More and more troops have entered Iraq, whilst every week the death toll rises, and more innocent lives are lost in retaliation-attacks.

Yet still officials back these decisions. If we really want to do good by those we have lost maybe politicians should start considering how to actually help Iraq, rather than using them as a scape-goat for anger, emotions and the need to be seen to be doing something.

Ben Walker

big up the talybont south house 18. the best house in the world. ever. fact.

Freshers are taking over the world.

Can u tb whn u gt ths msg Uh, there’s a halfdead-fat-man eating a dead-fat-man... am I the only one who realized? Oh, okay...

Anon

derstand just what the festival means, for anyone who is gay or lesbian and has suffered prejudice it’s such an amazing feeling to know that in our contemporary world people still care about sexuality and are open to new ideas.

Even in Cardiff University there is such a diversity of lesbian and gay life, we need to embrace this move away from judgement and celebrate mardigras-style our freedom to choose, and to choose anything!

No, the rainbow flag does not just mean someone is a fag, in fact, it represents six colours of meaning; red – life, orange – healing, yellow – sun, green – nature, blue – harmony and violet – spirit.

So next year get your beads on, don some sparkly head gear and some fantastic high heels and get partying down in Cooper’s Field for the campest day of your life!

Hetero-Has-Been Dear Gair rhydd,

Dear Gair rhydd,

I just wanted to write in about the Mardi Gras festival on the 1st of September.

Whilst many people don’t really un-

I am writing in response to the article; Stupid is as Student Does.

I have to admit, I am a big fan of Edmund’s Deal or No Deal, and I am not buying into the fact that us, the audience, are all stupid.

Mindless TV it may be but there is nothing wrong with that. Yes Endemol probably do hand-pick contestents by their lack of ability to equate probabilities and lack of understanding of how the game actually works, but I’d like to think I knew that already!

TV companies are just that, companies and all they care about is making money. Full stop, anyone who has any sort of media knowledge knows this, so who really cares whether their making £55 million a year off our stupidy or not.

As long as I enjoy watching it, and don’t buy into the magic-number malarky, I’m quite happy to let TV grow off dumb, or not dumb, entertainment.

I haven’t got any friends so i thought i’d text you instead. my estate agents are wankers!!! i’ve been given 204 flyers and its only bloody wednesday Hi, I’m Dave and I like cheese So basically if you watch it, you see it.

Nice juicy steak, as inspired by Ben G

Letter of the week Shrug-by?

Dear gair rhydd, The Rugby World Cup matches in Cardiff have been great for the city, especially the pubs and bars!

Or at least this amazing tournament should have been!

It almost seems as if the city shrugged at the prestigious offer of holding some of the matches in Wales as very little has been done to celebrate it!

I have been lucky enough to go as a student with a few friends and my old man to both the Wales - Australia and the Wales - Japan matches in the stadium and the atmosphere has been electric.

Of course us good old Welsh are getting behind our team and whilst the rugby hasn’t been quite as exciting as we had hoped, we’re setting ourselves up pretty nicely to get through the group stages.

A lot of my mates haven’t been as lucky as me however, and haven’t had tickets to see the games. The pubs and bars have embraced the tournament full-on and have, as usual, been packed out to the streets with men and women together swigging back a few pints and cheering on teams from all nations.

Clare Davies

Dumb or Not Dumb?

text: 07964308150

do you really print the text messages in the paper???

15

Michael Richards

Indo-Spiration Dear Gair rhydd, I am writing in to try and inspire people to go to Indonesia. But not just to travel to this amazing country but to get there as soon as possible... before it disapears!

I was lucky enough to travel out to Indonesia with my boyfriend last summer and we managed to hitch hike and

backpack around a few of its seventeen thousand odd islands and take in a lot of the country, its people and its varied culture.

It was a fantastic experience and one I will never forget! Not only is the country in complete economic despair, yet it manages to coexist peacefully between many different religions; Muslim, Buddhism, Christianty and many more. In fact it is the largest concentration of Muslim population within any country and yet religion-based trouble is not the biggest issue.

Instead this poor country is being knocked one side to the other with natural disasters. I was only out in the archipelago for two months and yet within my visit Indonesia was hit with a major earthquake, plane crashes, a tsunami, another earthquake and a volcanic eruption which I actually flew over on my way out!

Unfortunately for the beautiful and inspiring happy population of Indonesia, they do not have the resources or back-up plans to deal with such natural, and national, attrocities.

I have no idea what the answer is to this question as much corruption and deceit exists within a government which is half trying its best, half holding the people back.

All I do know is that the country is amazing, full of some of the world’s oldest and rarest natural attractions, wildlife and geological masterpieces.

And even if you just wanted perfect white sand beaches and amazing surf, it has all that to offer on top. But if you want a chance to see this amazing country at its best; go now!

As I fear that more and more is going to be destroyed, or warned off from visiting in the future.

Chloe Davies

Why didn’t Cardiff council have a big screen in the city though? Poor students have hardly enough spare cash on them to even buy enough beer for an event such as an international rugby match! Even towards the beginning of term not many can afford the steep prices that even the cheaper tickets to the stadium would cost, let alone a return trip to France!

Us poor students want to enjoy the action full on as well. It seems a shame that the city hasn’t made the most of a great opportunity to celebrate holding the biggest staged event in the rugby season.

Whose fault is this? The council?

Or are we under the ‘French Thumb’ not allowing us to make too much profit from hosting the matches we are? The definitiely not so subtle reminder that France are the hosts was splattered accross the skies as the Red Arrows spewed out the French colours in their display after our loss to Australia, and again after the game against Japan.

Either way, if we are ever lucky enough to hold a big event in Cardiff again, with the new opening of Wembley Stadium, let’s hope someone makes a bit more effort for our home-grown sport!

A Poor Rugby Fan

Do You See Snow?

Dear Gair rhydd, Its literally...just...September, and already there is, brace yourselves, Christmas cakes in the supermarkets! Now many of you reading this might think I am a petty student.

But let’s face it, surely there should be some sort of anti-Christmas law until the 1st of December?

I am a firm believer in traditions. I have my own; on the 1st of December every year I get out my copy of Home Alone, warm up a hot mug of cocoa and eat mince pies laughing until I pee myself. But never a day before December.

I feel almost sick seeing the Christmas cakes, crackers and biscuit boxes out in supermarkets in late August. I even managed to find a little old lady buying her Christmas cards from an Oxfam charity store two weeks ago.

Someone tell me this has to stop! Before we know it we’ll be buying flashing reindeers for our roofs alongside the latest trend in summer hotpants in early June, just to make sure we have it in time!

Tradition is tradition but Christmas isn’t just about food, presents and boring family get-togethers. Even if you’re not religious, and see it literally as a holiday to spend time with family and relax, you must see that an end needs to be put to over-zealous commercialism.

Money takes over everything and adds real stress to some families at the time of year when they need it least. So let’s give the money-making business a bit of a rest and keep our pockets full until at least December. One month of being skint is far better than six!

Daniel Parker

!"#$!"#$$%21

LISTINGS

October.1.2007 LISTINGS@!"#$!"#$$.COM

Monday

01/10

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative music night. Also features DJing by Oddsoc and bands put on

by LMS in the live music room. 10pm - 2am.

Free entry with NUS. £3 otherwise.

The Jazz Attic @ Cafe Jazz Jam in a jazzy manner with the house jazz trio. All instruments and singers are welcome. £2/£1 if you perform. Arrive early.

Vodka Island @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ superclub. 9.30pm - 2am. £4.

The Dykeenies + The Changes @ Barfly The Dykeenies - New wave electro indie pop from Glasgow influenced by The Cribs, Bloc Party. Formed in 2005, The Dykeenies' snappy pop songs brought them to the attention of the Glasgow indie scene and soon after in the UK .

The Changes - 4-piece Chicago based band The Changes play light guitar pop/rock music. With strong guitar riffs and impressive live performances, they also add some jazz to the mix of their indie rock sound. £6.00 advance Gindrinker + Origami + Cissy @Tommy's Bar at Cardiff Institute of Higher Education We’ve never heard of any of these bands, so go along and tell us all about it! £4.00 / £3.00 NUS

Pick Of The Day Roger Hodgson @ St David's Hall, Cardiff Former Supertramp frontman, now making waves as a solo performer and composer.

Universally acclaimed for his songwriting talents and role in international supergroup Supertramp, Hodgson has spent the years since his departure from the band creating and writing music, and as a result, has become a greatly admired solo artist.

7:30pm £35 in advance

Tuesday 02/10

Planet Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bach The one and only rock request night, originating from a Cardiff music society way back.

You ask, and they play the rock, metal and goth classics. You can also request via MySpace.com/planet_rock_club. 9pm - 2pm. £3.

Fuel Inferno: Resident DJs @ Clwb Tafod Cardiff’s newest music venue brings you the self proclaimed “hottest” (yum...) club night in the city. Drinks offers all night so go along early to avoid dissapointment. 9pm - 1am.

Contact venue for ticket information.

Kids In Glass Houses DJ set @ Barfly Cardiff's Kids In Glass Houses, whose poprock sound and catchier-than-catchy tunes has seen then nominated for Best British Newcomers at the 2007 Kerrang! Awards.

From 10:30pm. £3.00.

OXJAM: The Hot Puppies + Spencer McGarry Season + The Toy Band + Sweet Baboo @ The Point Not just a festival, but a festival with a point.

Instead of just getting merry, you can get merry and raise money for Oxfam. Lovely. The Hot Puppies and Spencer McGarry Season both boast catchy pop - rock sounds and won’t fail in giving you a good time.

7:30pm. £5.00.

Pick Of The Day Hobson's Choice @ New Theatre A good old 19th Century tale of ale swigging and boot making, this play details the story of Henry Hobson, who decrees a “no marriage” rule over his three daughters.

Unsurpisingly distressed by this, Hobson’s eldest daughter sets her sights on her father’s master boot maker, a Mr. Will Mossop. Together they set up a rival boot shop and enter into a “battle of the boot makers”! 7:30pm. £24.00 - £7.00 plus concessions

Wednesday 03/10

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Dressed up clubbing for jocks and pretend jocks. 10pm. £3.

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different club nights.

9.30pm. £3.

Eat The DJ @ Buffalo Bar Bar, nice surroundings and good music all makes for a great evening out. Plus its free entry. 9pm-3am.

Ardal O'Hanlon @ Sherman Theatre

From Craggy Island to the West End, Ardal O'Hanlon is fast-tracking his way to the top faster than Father Dougal on a milk float.

'Comedy Newcomer of the Year' (1994), Ardal established The Comedy Cellar in Dublin, Ireland's first alternative comedy club, and has remained a highly popular and very funny stand-up comedian. After shooting to fame in Father Ted, he has continued his sitcom acting as Thermoman in the BBC series My Hero. In 2003, Ardal made his debut in the West End; is there no end to this man's talents? 7:30pm. £17.50 / £15.50 concessions.

Speed Theory + Sanstone + Enochain Theory @ Barfly Lots of lovely music.

7:30pm. £5.00.

Pick Of The Day Zenyth + New Black Light Machine + El Condor Pasa + The New Tea Party + DJ Fur-Q @ Buffalo Bar Zenyth have been highly praised as a live band, while using classic rock influences.

They create an original, modern sound combined with excellent musicianship.

This fresh rock sound has gained Zenyth much acclaim, having won the Rock on the Beach battle of the bands competition in Mykonos. 8:00pm-3:00am. £3.00.

Friday 05/10

Saturday 06/10

Sunday 07/10

Access all Areas @ Solus SU New Look Friday...Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. Promises the best alternative music and beats for you to boogie to. 10pm - 2am. £3.50 / £3 adv.

Killing For Company + Skies @ Barfly Enigmatic rock from one of Wales' new rock bands. Their live debut may have involved opening for rock legends The Who, but they're also a firm favourite on the local scene. '...Wales' next major rock act. ' - Bill Leslie (If Bill says they’re good, they must be good then...) £5 Bei-Ling Burlesque: Theatr Bwcibo @ Chapter Arts Centre A bilingual burlesque cabaret performance directed by Diana Bianchi and produced by Heledd Bianchi. £10-£6. 8pm Phil Butler and Guest Comedians @ Jongleurs Comedy Club Comedy night with some top names from the comedy circuit £8 all tickets. 8pm (doors 7pm)

Come Play @ Solus, SU Union-run night of rock, pop, dance and general debauchery. Party tunes in the main room and Traffic DJing in the side room.

10pm. £3.50.

Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. Bring your funky selves along. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. This Is Seb Clarke + Jason Soudah @ Barfly Jason Soudah - A 24 year-old Irish/Cypriot singer-songwriter with a style comparable to artists such as Tori Amos and Counting Crows. Unforgettable songs, emotive stage presence and a powerful yet dynamic voice make for passionate and heartfelt performances. A versatile pianist and guitarist based in Cardiff. £5 in advance The Sacrifice: Welsh National Opera @ Wales Millennium Centre The Sacrifice is a compelling and timeless story of a ruler's ultimate sacrifice to safeguard the future of his wartorn, faction-ridden country. This is a story of love, revenge and reconcilliation, inspired by the heightened mythical world of The Mabinogion: a collection of ancient Welsh folktales. Composed and conducted by James MacMillan. £37.50 - £5

Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere where you can experience live acoustic acts, songwriters and performers, as well as participating yourself. 8pm - 3am. £1.

The Hop @ Buffalo Bar The resident DJs present 50’s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. 8pm 3am. Free.

Don McLean @ St David’s Hall Revered American singer/songwriter, most famous for his 1971 hit American Pie. After learning his craft from friend and mentor Pete Seeger during the sixties, McLean went on to international fame and notoriety. The likes of Madonna, George Michael and even Elvis Presley have covered his songs, and he is still performing four decades on. A true living legend.

Errors @ Clwb Ifor Bach 'Post rockers you can dance to' NME £6. 8pm Red Violin Festival: The Devil's Violin @ Chapter Arts Centre Storyteller Daniel Morden joins forces with Oliver Wilson-Dickson (violin), Edward Jay (accordion / guitar) and Sarah Moody (cello) in a dynamic combination of music & spoken word.

8pm. £8-6

Pick of the Day Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson @ St David’s Hall Australia's answer to Roy 'Chubby' Brown - so not for the easily offended! Consistent irreverent humour in a heavy Aussie accent with plenty of swearing and eclectic musical backing. A cleverer comic than the Chub, and his musical ditties bring a kind of Bill Bailey-esq feel to his rip-roaring act.

PC parade keep your distance.

Ticket price subject to change so contact venue for info.

Pick Of The Day Walter Trout and the Radicals + Ralston @ The Glee Club Walter Trout and his band play earth shattering blues rock music throughout Europe and the USA. Walter Trout was voted the 6th best guitarist ever in a BBC Radio listeners poll and gets rave reviews whenever playing live as well as on record, with quotes like 'When it comes to blazing guitar players, Walter Trout is the prophet' 7.30pm £15

Pick Of The Day Glenn Wool, John Richardson, Andy Askins, Paul Thorne @ The Glee Club, The Bay Comedy night followed by late bar & disco = par-tay.

Glenn Wool - Inventive Canadian stand-up Wool cetainly cuts a dash on stage with his heavy black eyeliner, long leather coat and distinctive cowboy hat. Already an established comic in the USA with his laid back, confident and edgy style and stunning improvisation. No subject too sensitive, no issue too extreme.

Paul Thorn - A headliner at London's Comedy Store and one of the UK's finest comics. £12.50 online/£6.50 NUS. 7.45pm

Thursday 04/10

DJ Derek @ Glo Bar Legendary Bristol DJ whose blend of reggae, dub and ska has made him an icon for many in the industry, including a host of Jamaican producers and Massive Attack. And apparently has a thing for cardigans. 9pm-3am £3.00.

Who's Eaten Gilbert's Grape? : Rhod Gilbert @ The Glee Club First-class comedian with a string of accolades. He was a finalist in the Channel 4 'So You Think You're Funny' Competition 2002. He then graduated to being the winner of the Gift Of The Gag 2003 and BBC Comedy Awards 2003 competitions. A surefire star of the future. £14.00 - £10.00.

Pick Of The Day NME Freshers Tour: The Go! Team + Operator Please + The Satin Peaches @ Cardiff Student Union The Satin Peaches - Detroit based altrockers making glamorous punked-up indie. Like My Bloody Valentine crossed with Rilo Kiley with a bit of Broken Social Scene thrown in for good measure.

'These youngsters are set to shake up the citys music scene. I wasn't sure if folks would get it together to mix garage song writing with the danceable back beat of the new post punk movement, but it seems to have happened here. Leave it to the kids... this sh*t is hot!' - The Lager House The GO! Team - A kaleidoscope of cut and paste sounds and old skool beats, combined with some chilled vocals. The fact that a fifteen minute power failure in the middle of their headlining set on Glastonbury's John Peel stage failed to deter any of the crowd from going literally insane from watching their live show.

Cash Back.

Price: £11.00 / £10.00 NUS

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.01.2007

PROBLEM PAGE

PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

From the Desk of

D E T

23

e m so

d n Ha

He’s a ruddy good lad.

Ted Handsome’s Plagues of Modern Day Britain An Occasional Series

Much as I love dear ol’ Blighty, I have noticed that several social trends have begun to creep in and spoil it for everyone. In this occasional series I hope to name and shame the supporters and purporters of these modern day scourges.

Number 1 - Middle Class Teenagers Wearing Desert Scarves Having Never Visited A Desert Now, if there’s one thing that I know about, it’s middle class guilt. Luckily for me, I can effortlessly suppress it and actually get on with my life. However, there are massive swathes of our be-teenaged population who have decided in a fit of liberal righteousness that they are going to side with their ‘brothers’ in Palestine. However, conveniently, this support is limited to sharing a mutual respect for fashion, rather than self-immolation and murder.

Number 2 - Crocs Seriously, just how hard is it to wear a proper pair of shoes? Quite frankly anybody who wears these shoes out of choice just looks like the kind of person who can’t be trusted wearing normal shoes. And If I hear another person replying to my vitriol with a whiny ‘But they are so comfortable’, I will take great pleasure in inserting said stupid shoes somewhere which will render them quite uncomfortable.

Number 3 - Braying, Jack WillsWearing, Going-To-SalcombeOn-Holiday Sloanes.

Words cannot express how much I absolutely loathe these people. I for one cannot wait for the revoultion, not so much for the redistribution of wealth, but instead for the complete and utter destruction of these awful, awful individuals. Please go off to Val d’Isere and stay there.

A letter about Cardiff’s many delights Dear Ted, I am but a lowly fresher, and having been figuratively torn from my weeping mother’s breast and thrust into this sprawling metropolis and am at somewhat of a loose end as to what to do with myself.

Any ideas oh wise and masterful sage?

Yours, Barry Schistosomiasis, Cathays Dearest Barry, There are few things on God’s green earth that turn your old pal’s stomach as much as the influx of new people that flood into my beloved Cardiff every September, with their unabridged enthusiasm and clean shining faces. However, seeing as you took the time out from your busy day of watching Doctors in your underpants, I’ll dole out some

of Handsome’s common sense advice. First and foremost, no matter what that oaf in your corridor insists, going to Liquid or Jumping Jaks will not be ‘great banter’, nor ‘well lairy’. It will be an unmitigated disaster. Honest to god, the first time I entered either one of these establishments, I thought a bomb had gone off in a twat factory. Not only did I get challenged to several fistfights whilst trying to use the toilet facilities, but I very nearly lost my eyesight when a woman, and I use this term in the loosest sense possible, of a particularly luminous hue tried to mount me.

Christ almighty, if I wanted to watch fat women with bingo wings gyrate in clothes completely unsuitable for their bulk, with little or no regard for their offspring, I’d watch video footage of that harlot Britney Spears. If

it is nourishment that you require, I’d suggest visiting Caroline Street, locally known as ‘Chippy Lane’. It is probably Cardiff’s only example of haute cuisine, if by haute cuisine, you mean chips that look like dead snails and gravy that has the consistency of a corpse that has been left in a lake for several months.

However, if like your loyal servant, all you require of an evening is an expensive brandy and a powerful shotgun, then Chez Handsome is clearly the only place worth frequenting in this grotesque urban jungle.

Toodle pip!

Ted Handsome

A letter about the art of romance Dear Ted, The other day, it may have been Tuesday or Thursday, actually I think it was probably Wednesday, I had a discussion with one of my lovely new neighbours in my Halls on the subject of the best way to attract a member of the opposite sex. I argued that the best way I had encountered was on my travels through Central Africa. I noticed that the men of a particular tribe would lick several toads and enter a catatonic trance before flogging themselves with a length of strong woven rope in order to prove their masculine credentials. However, my new friend drew his inspiration from the world of nature, with particular reference to a specific species of bird which displayed colourful plumage and emit a high pitched chirrup before performing

a vigorous dance to attract a mate.

Both of us put forward excellent points, but alas, we were unable to come to a satisfactory conclusion. Therefore, I was wondering whether you could enlighten us to the correct decorum for ensnaring a ladyfriend?

Yours, Nigel Leishmaniasis, Roath Cher Nigel, Clearly you and your new friend are very boring people, and so are socially retarded in that respect.

Therefore, you will both have to use the one thing that all women are attracted to: money. However, as not everyone can be the heir to the Picture loans fortune, ahem yours truly ahem, you will have to rely on the old classic: lying. Here are a few little tricks that I have discovered in

my many years as a notorious romancer of women. The first trick is known as ‘negging’. First, you must approach a group of girls and immediately try and join in the conversation. Quickly assess the lay of the land and figure out which is the most aesthetically pleasing of the the fillies and make a mental note.

Then, without warning deliberately insert a negative comment about them, but continue talking to them.

It will throw them long enough for you to work your magic. However. be warned. Ol’ Teddy boy once tried this technique against a woman who turned out to be the West Midlands U18 kickboxing champion, and my knee still aches on a cold day.

Cheerio!

Ted Handsome

Unfortunately, to paraphrase an American, it’s time for my final thought. As a busy man, I don’t often get a chance to think, I leave that to the man I pay to think for me. Yes, I am THAT rich. So why do I write for a newspaper then, if I am so rich? Well the short answer is because. The slightly longer answer is because I feel that I have a gift. A gift I wish to share with the great unwashed. You see, I am blessed with an inconcievable arrogance and indifference to the rest of the world, thus placing me in the perfectly objective viewpoint to solve your piffling, insignificant problems. How convenient!

Fancy writing for gair rhydd?

Recruitment Party -Monday October 1st - 7pm - Solus !"#$ !"#$$

FREE

GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR

BORAT! The

page 17 inter view

Politics joins Science and Environment for one week only to investigate the politics of climate change Page 11

A BIG LET DOWN? !"#$%&"'"(')(*$'+#,*-.' +/("%0"'121-&0"'*%""-&2'12%&.3'

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“

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Features on World Aids Day Page 16

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Health pay a visit to the University’s counselling service Page 23

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OCTOBER.01.2007

LONELY HEARTS

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lonely hearts with...

E

arlier today I bought some gift wrap at WHSmiths, and when handing out my receipt the slightly attractive cashier touched my hand for, like, two seconds. I felt I was so in there that I skipped home, hugging lampposts all the way. Then I realised I was being a twat.

This was about the fifth such incident this week.

Hi, I’m Queenie. I get called that because my genitals haven’t made a friend for decades.

Despite this, I quite like the monarchy.

Anyone see that Queen film with Helen Mirren the other day?

I did – watched it over a bottle of vodka and some Dairy Milk. I felt a little shameful with a litre to myself, so during the adverts I switched armchairs so that it was like there were two people in the room.

So, a little about me. I’m single, I’m alone, and I’ve been sexually inactive since I was 15.

My mum says I’m striking. Guess that covers everything. Oh, I have two special talents. One is I can recite the script of every Friends episode ever. The other is that I love myself up to eight times a

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day.

The doctor says if I keep going at this rate I’ll wear myself down to the pelvic bone in three separate places. The only side effect that really upsets me is my walk: the soreness makes me shuffle like some shagged-out John Wayne.

Wow, I’ve been talking about self-banging for four sentences.

Ouch.

I suppose there’s no excuse for this, given that Cardiff’s streets are heaving with Beautiful New People. Beautiful New People, some with no concept of true romance or real depravity.

I’m wasted on my own. I have so much pent-up fuckery I’d take a special someone to places they’d never been before. I would leave orbit propelled by my nether regions. I would land on a virgin moon and engrave it with sex craters.

Yet here I am, in the shadows, searching Facebook for someone I played kiss-and-chase with in year 3, while my hermaphroditic porn quietly downloads in the background. I hope you all enjoyed Freshers, whether it be your first or last. I hope you all contract gonorrhoea within a fortnight.

Let Quench introduce you to the love of your life

Queenie

the queen of your heart

Desperately seeking...

Male seeking female: Lonely 3rd year wants filthy fresher for making whoopie with to win bet with housemates. Twins preferred, triplets encouraged.

Female seeking male: Y(NF)SF 34DD 5’8 seeks GLMTWM must have M2BC&DR who LL BP RW with GSOH for a LTIDR Male seeking male: WN seeks FD for companionship and light marshmellow toasting.

Must have MWS and like WIBP. Female seeking female: Very hot lesbian seeks very hot lesbian for open-air production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream Female seeking corpse: Fun, outgoing 2nd year WLTM decomposing corpse 70-130 for friendship and maybe more. PSP and copy of death certificate.

Y(NF)SF - Young (not fussy) single female GLFMTWM - Fit, musically talented young male M2BC&DR - Must be able to afford champagne and diamond

Heat-seeking love missile: Decommissioned scud stud looking for Korean/Arab/ Chechen to terrorise all night.

Legend seeking muse DM desires fine lady upon which to pour divine wisdom.

Must be exceedingly quotable

Old Cardiff man seeking a peeking 43-year-old overweight Welsh wanker seeks young under-dressed undergraduate to perv at

Creative types seek new jobs Foursome seeking free food and early nights. Likes company of others, occasional ejaculation problems.

Male desperately seeking boink: Randy broad-minded bloke driven crazy by Fresher influx requires urgent attention P&O SeaKing Ferry Scurvy water-enthusiast seeks steaming porthole-filled vessel. Must like a good paddle

Graduate like moth to old flame Male hopes to reignite passion with 35 year old eternal student.

Not picky and very committed.

Three loners seek life Will do anything for company

The Godfather seeks Nurse to sooth mysterious rashes and nights out in dingy nightclubs.

Female desperately desperately desperately desperately desperately desperately seeking friends.

Requires human contact.

Convicts welcomed.

rings LL - Looks like BP - Brad Pitt GSOH - Good sense of humour PSP - Please send photo LTIDR - Long term in-depth

relationship WN - Welsh nationalist FD - Friendly dragon MWS - Massive wing span WIBP - Walks in Bute Park WLTM - would like to meet

WANT TO WRITE FOR CARDIFF'S AWARD-WINNING STUDENT MEDIA...?

AWARD

gairrhydd gair

MEDIA RECRUITMENT PARTY MONDAY OCTOBER 1ST SOLUS

7PM RECRUITING:

blinddate@gairrhydd.com

WRITERS / PHOTOGRAPHERS / ILLUSTRATORS / GRAPHIC DESIGNERS / ARTISTS

26 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.01.2007

GRAB!

COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

C

alling all you bookworms out there that are eager to start all your readings early, Blackwells bookshop is situated on the ground floor in the Students’ Union and is there for you!

Blackwells has an amazing selection of books covering a wide range of subjects and topics to appeal to everyone. It stores not only books but a great variety of stationery which will fit any students wants and needs! As well as all this they also have some fantastic gifts for all your friends and family.

So guys when work gets on top of you and you start forgetting birthdays, Blackwells is a great place to just pop into and pick up the perfect gift. A large selection of CDs and DVDs are also on offer to you in the shop, so you can check out the latest tunes and movies without the hassle of trekking into town!

Blackwells also buy second hand books to sell onto other students, this is a fantastic way of making back some of the money you spent on books in previous years. By giving in some of your old books you’re not only saving the trees by recycling them, but helping out lots of other students! The selection of second hand books is brilliant and they are at discount prices which makes it twice as worthwhile.

There is a loyalty scheme on offer to students who buy all their books in Blackwells, the more books you buy there, the more discounts and offers you will receive from them. This works out to be extremely beneficial to students and at the same time you are supporting your local bookshop. If you are looking for a particular book and can’t see it on the shelves, the staff are happy to look for the book on their database and order it in for you, saving you the stress of looking around other bookshops.

To start off the term, Blackwells is giving you the chance to win a ten pound voucher to spend on any of the great gifts available in the store. All you have to do to win is answer the question below and email your answer and address to the email at the top of this page.

Which floor of the Union is Blackwells situated on? a) 2nd b) Ground c) 8th

A Date at the Pictures

No time to shower?

O

k guys so you’ve been to the lock and key party, you’ve met your perfect match, now where do you take them? THE CINEMA! Vue cinemas is your local one-stop shop for seeing the next big movies coming to our shores over the next few months. Situated right by the Millenium Stadium, not only does it have the nicest seats in Cardiff, it has the greatest Ben and Jerry stall for all your ice cream fantasies.

Vue is truly the place to take your friends, dates and anyone else lucky enough to know you.

Vue has kindly given us a pair of tickets to give away this week to see a film of your choice. We recommend Ben Stiller’s return to the big screen in ‘The Heartbreak Kid’, bound to be another comic gem to add to his collection. To be in a chance of winning simply answer this question, emailing your answer and address to the email above: Which of these films has Ben Stiller not appeared in? a) Zoolander b) Meet the Parents c) The Notebook

B

odyflik is the new gadget which is sure to be a hit with the students.

For the cost of the visit to the launderette, this hand held squeegee with a soft gel blade sweeps water from your body before using a towel, without the need for washing as well as saving a few pennies from your pocket. Eco-friendly, it has been proven to dramatically reduce your carbon footprint by reducing water consumption, detergent, pollution, electricity and CO2 emissions. And as it’s so small you can take it anywhere, from the rugby field to the beach!

For anyone who loves their gadgets and inventions this is something not be missed. For more details check the website www.bodyflik.com, and check out the amazing accolades this has already received!

To be in with a chance of winning simply go to www.bodyflik.com and answer this question, emailing your answer and address to the email above: How many litres of water could you save a week using the Bodyflik? a) 5-10 litres b) 100-1000 litres c) 5000 litres

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

Sport ALL SHOOK UP gairrhydd

Inside: Jose, Sven, the Tuilagi brothers & IMG registration details

8 more football teams - Online registration - School affiliation - 1 new football league - New naming rules

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

IMG undergoes major revamp Pete Dean & Steven Florey IMG Editors IMG Football is set for its biggest season to date, after a number of changes to its structure that will allow more students than ever to play in the leagues.

AU President Ben Turner has announced that the maximum number of teams will rise by eight to 40, with an extra league created accordingly. The result of this means there will now be five leagues in total, each containing eight teams. The extra space has been created for new teams, while previous entrants are assured of their place if it is required.

Having proven to be incredibly popular in recent years, the growth of IMG football seems a necessary and exciting adjustment.

Turner is clearly excited by the increased competition in the leagues, saying: “As I promised when running for election, I have delivered in increasing participation by adding more IMG football teams, meaning at least 100 more people participating in sport on a weekly basis.”

Another key change to this year’s setup is the introduction of online registration for new teams, which will allow each captain apply for registration via e-mail, scrapping the earlier paper-based system.

Turner justified the switch on health and safety grounds, explaining: “Last year, the registration was on a firstcome-first-serve basis and teams were queuing all night in the Students’ Union building. This meant that there were people queuing after a night out and an accident occurred. This technique had

to be changed this year as the health and safety risk would be too great.”

Plans for IMG Netball are also firmly in place, with the registration process the same as for football, and the AU is currently considering the possibility of adding more teams to the netball leagues. If places are available for new squads, they will be allocated on a first come first serve basis. Any new teams should e-mail after 5am on Friday 5th October.

Further changes to the IMG registration process require that every IMG team should now include the name of a university school, or a subject in their name when they register. While teams like J-Unit and Uni Hallstars will be allowed to keep most of their name, they will still be asked to affiliate themselves with a faculty or a subject. Significantly, players will not

have to represent the school in which they study.

Turner is keen to stress the benefits of this new initiative, commenting: “I want to ensure the longevity of teams so that students can become familiar with established squads.”

He added: “Its difficult for freshers to get selected for a team that is a group of good friends. If teams are associated with departments it should make it a lot less intimidating for first years to get involved.

“By having an affiliation to school, players can take pride in their course, show loyalty and commitment to a university school, and ultimately take pride in their achievements.”

In a further attempt to promote solidarity between teams, captains are being encouraged to recruit players directly from their schools via posters

and other methods. Turner suggests: “If third years are actively looking to recruit first years then teams should contain students from a variety of years. This should help first years’ become acquainted with the university and particularly the school that they represent. They could even ask for advice about their course.”

The first football round kicks off on Wednesday 17th October, with more players than ever set to compete in IMG.

For full IMG registration and refereeing details

See Page 31

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