gair rhydd - Issue 824 by Cardiff Student Media

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ISSUE 824 October 23 2006

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY

ING W I T H TH E M I ND ME S S I N G W I T H T H E MI N D ME S S I N G WIT H T Hfree E word M IN- EST. D 1972 M ES S IN G WITH TH E M I ND M E S S I N G W I T H T H E MI N D ME S S I N G W IT H T H E M IN D M ES S IN G WIT H THE M I ND M E SSI NG W I T H T H E MI N D ME S S I N G W I T H T H E M IN D M ES S IN G WIT H T H E MIN D M E SSI NG W I TH T H E MI N D ME S S I N G W I T H T H E M IN D M ES S IN G WIT H T H E M IN D MESSING MES SI NG W I TH TH E MI N D ME S S I N G W I T H T H E MI N D M ES S IN G WIT H T H E M IN D M ES S ING W I T H TH E M I ND ME S S I N G W I T H T H E MI N D ME S S I N G WIT H T H E M IN D M ES S IN G WITH WITH TH E M I ND M E S S I N G W I T H T H E MI N D ME S S I N G W IT H T H E M IN D M ES S IN G WIT H THE M I ND M ETHE SSI NG W I T H T H E MI N D ME S S I N G W I T H T H E M IN D M ES S IN G WIT H T H E Pages MIN D M E SSI NG W I TH T H E MI N D ME S S I N G W I T H T H E M IN D M ES S IN G WIT H T H E M IN D MIND MES SI NG W I TH TH E MI N D ME S S I N G W I T H T H E MI N D M ES S IN G WIT T H E 15 M IN D M ES S 14H and ING W I T H TH E M I ND ME S S I N G W I T H T H E MI N D ME S S I N G WIT H T H E M IN D M ES S IN G WIT H T H E M I N D M E S S I N G W I T H T H E M I N D M E S S I N G W I T H T H E M I N D M E S S I N G W I T H

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Assault in taxi Peeping-tom in Cathays Taff trail mugging Indecent exposure in Cathays garden Burglary on Colum Road in early hours Students woken by burglar on Merthyr Street at 8am

Helen Thompson News Editor CARDIFF STUDENTS have been the victims of an epidemic of crime ranging from theft to indecent assault since the beginning of this term. The alarming number of recent incidents suggests that students are not taking enough care of themselves and their property. Police are urging students to stay safe by looking out for each other on nights out and using their common sense to make their homes secure. Burglaries aimed at student houses have been common, but could often be prevented with extra caution. Two robberies, reported on page four of this issue, were made easy for criminals when inhabitants left the windows or curtains of their bedrooms open. A mugging that took place on the Taff Trail at the beginning of October has reignited fears that the route is unsafe for pedestrians, especially at night. The trail is notorious for flashers and muggings.

DANGEROUS: Taff trail PC Bob Keohane, student liaison officer, has urged caution as the clocks are going back soon, and students should not walk along the path alone after dark. Sex crimes against students have also been reported. One student has alleged that she was indecently assaulted by a taxi driver when on the way home from a night out. This is not an isolated event, as there have been reports over past two years of unlicensed taxi drivers committing sex attacks on passengers. Female students have also become victims of voyeurism, with one man indecently exposing himself in a student’s back garden. Another peeping tom specifically targeted nursing students. His love of spying on naked women was described as an ‘addiction’. There is also concern that students are easy targets during a night out. Drunk students are more vulnerable to assault and theft, and so should stick together when out on the town. PC Keohane said: “There are 35,000 students in Cardiff, and of course we want them to enjoy them-

selves, but they need to be aware of the precautions they should take against crime. “These include keeping bags with them when in clubs, never leaving drinks unattended, walking on welllit routes and only travelling in licensed taxis.” Turn to page two for an extended report on the South Wales Police’s ‘Be Safe’ campaign. Turn to page four for reports on burglaries and voyeurism.

Photo: James Perou

CRIME WAVE

Photo: Ed Salter

Students fall victim to rising attacks and burglaries

Broken window at Merthyr Road burglary

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NEWS

OCTOBER.23.2006 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

a glance

4th Floor Students’ Union

Abigail Whittaker Reporter A FEMALE STUDENT was indecently assaulted in a taxi she hailed outside the Union earlier this term. She asked to be taken back to her house, but the driver allegedly climbed into the back seat with her. After the assault took place, he left the student on Woodville Road. Student Liaison Officer, PC Bob Keohane, said: “Thinking of the amount of taxis that operate in the city, we only have a small amount of reported incidents. “It’s worth mentioning that we get a lot of information from legitimate taxi-drivers themselves about unlicensed drivers; most drivers are completely legal

and hard-working.” It is safer to book a taxi, as this negates the risk of using an unlicensed vehicle. All licensed taxis should have a plate on the rear of their vehicle and the driver should have a badge showing his photograph. Sharing a taxi with a friend is cheaper and safer. If travelling alone you are advised to sit behind the driver, and not reveal any personal details. If you feel uneasy at any stage, ask to be dropped in a busy, familiar and well-lit area. If you suspect a taxi is unlicensed take down the relevant details and call Cardiff’s nonemergency number, 101. This is a new alternative number to 999 to be used when a situation does not warrant an emergency response.

UNLICENCED TAXI: Not the safe option

Welsh Bac not up to scratch?

TESTING TIMES: Are Bac students working in vain?

Fire in the disco? STUDENTS PARTYING at the Union were disturbed not once, but twice last week, when fire alarms sounded on Saturday and Monday night. The fire alarm on Saturday went off at around 2am, as Comeplay was coming to a close. Students attending Sumo in the Great Hall, which went on until 4am however, had to wait approximately 40 minutes before they could return. Many are reported to have gone home.

The alarm on Monday night sounded at around midnight and once again many students decided to head home rather than wait. At the time of going to press the Union had not confirmed why the alarms had been set off twice in two days. However, it is believed that on both occassions they were set off by students. It is not known whether or not they had been set off intentionally.

Adam Millward News Editor THE WELSH BACCALAUREATE, which was proving to be an effective alternative to A-Levels, may not be worth enough to enrol with the top universities, it has been revealed. The Baccalaureate consists of three main areas: key skills, work related education and personal and social education. It has been piloted at 31 schools and college across Wales, and was considered a general success; so much so that from next September, the qualification will be available throughout the country. The Universities admission service, UCAS, had suggested that the Baccalaureate was worth 120 points – the equivalent of an A-grade A-level. However, fear that high-quality universities may not accept the qualification has been raised, with admis-

PHOTO: Jo Dingle

EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley, Jon Berridge LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV Grace, TV John, TV Neil, TV Jane LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD Huw Pritchard SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MIN FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITOR James Perou PROOF READERS Kieran Harwood, Aisling Tempany, Andy Rennison, Alys Jones, Rich Ward, Eleanor Morrey, Laura Gibbons CONTRIBUTORS Sarah Day, Abigail Whittaker, William Taylor, Steve Myerscough, Caleb Woodbridge, Kate Garner, Adam Gasson, Lucy Higgins, Katie Treble, Matthew Horwood, Katy Gorman, James Stileman, Emma Duester, Victoria Lane, Lucinder Day, Lucie Apampa, Jun Kochi, Polly Lord, Dan Ridler, Pierre Masson, Goergina Wilmott, Karen Eeuwens, Chris White, Marianne Fisher, Brychan Govier, Natalie, Cemlyn Davies, Geraint Morris, Adam, Toulose, Chris Croissant, James Sexton, Lizzy Hawes, Scott D’Arcy, Charlene Hellstein, Paul Hayes, Jack Zorab, Daniel Ryan, Angharad, James Sexton, Ed Pitchforth, Rob Cook, Kames Woodroof, Luke Pavey ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION

Unlicensed driver assaults Cardiff student

PHOTO: Sarah Day

October 23 2006 News 1 Editorial & Opinion 7 Politics 11 Letters 12 Columnist 13 Features 14 Interviews 17 Media 19 Health 20 Jobs & Money 21 Science/Environment 22 Television 25 Problem Page 33 Grab 35 Five Minute Fun 37 Listings 38 Sport 40

Taxi terror

PARTY OUT: Alarm ends night

sion’s policies, such as that at Oxford University, stating: ‘The minimum entry requirement for students studying the Welsh Baccalaureate Advanced Diploma, will be two A grades at A-level alongside the core certificate at Level 3. ‘It may be the case that some colleges will require…three A-levels in addition to the core certificate.’ In contrast, Dafydd Frost, who handles Ucas applications at St David’s College, Cardiff, insisted the response of universities to the certificate had been positive. He said: “I have seen a range of reaction, but I feel most universities will now accept the Welsh Baccalaureate. “[Oxford and Cambridge] are the only two who are not making some kind of concession. The majority of good universities – a lot of the Russell Group universities [such as Cardiff University] – will now do it.”

W-all out for charity STUDENTS ARE now able to advertise their wares in the Union for just 50p. The advertising board is located in the on the third floor near the socieities’ area. It can hold any advertisement and they are not required to be bilingual. All the proceeds collected from this new venture will go to charity.

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NEWS

OCTOBER.23.2006

PHOTO: Matthew Horwood

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Welsh boys did good Steve Myerscough Reporter WHAT’S THAT COMING over the hill? It’s the XFM Live Breakthrough Act Award for local boys The Automatic. The four-piece group, whose biggest hit to date has been Monster, took the award at the Vodafone Live Music Awards, the UK’s first major awards ceremony for live music. They beat off competition from The Arctic Monkeys, Dirty Pretty Things and The Fratellis. The band, who formed in Cowbridge, near Cardiff, are no strangers to the Welsh capital. This year they played on the NME New Music tour at the Students’ Union, as well as headlining gigs at The Point, Clwb Ifor Bach and The Taff. The band will be playing on Sunday October 22 when the Cardiff leg of their tour stops off at the Great Hall in the Union.

Cardiff’s sneak preview William Taylor Reporter Cardiff will hold an exclusive preview of Sacha Boron Cohen’s new comedy, Borat in a bid to raise funds to tackle poverty in the UK and Africa. The charity screening is part of a new initiative between the film-makers and Comic Relief. The children’s charity is very excited and proud to announce that they will be working alongside 20th Century Fox on this massive fundraising opportunity. The exclusive preview of Borat will take place on Wednesday November 1 at the Odeon Cinema inside the Red Dragon complex in Cardiff Bay. Tickets are available at www.comicrelief.com for £8.

REAL-LIFE DRAMA: Under arrest

FILMING: Tenant and co. filimging outside City Hall

Who’s there Caleb Woodbridge Reporter DOCTOR WHO has materialised at Cardiff University to film scenes for the third series of the hit television show. Filming took place at the University Biosciences building last Wednesday, with Doctor Who actor David Tennant and newcomer Freema Agyeman present for the shoot. According to one university worker, plumbers were asked to disconnect the gas supply to the lab in the BIOSI building. The Doctor runs through the lab, turns on a Bunsen burner, and is chased by aliens before an explosion takes place. A number of fans gathered to watch the filming and were delighted to witness the arrival of David Tennant around 10:15pm. However, the shoot took place inside and there was little to see. One dedicated follower of the film-

ing of Doctor Who said: “It looks like a great episode. I can’t wait to see it, especially David Tennant in a tux!” Filming has also taken place at other prominent Cardiff locations. Recently, scenes were filmed at the Senedd building in Cardiff Bay with League of Gentlemen actor Mark Gatiss playing a scientist who discovers how to reverse the aging process. On Monday 16th October, night filming took place at the National Museum. Cardiff University previously appeared in the first series of Doctor Who when scenes from the episode Boom Town, which saw Cardiff almost sucked into a dimensional rift, were filmed in the Glamorgan building. Real-life drama on the night brought the fantasy drama to a temporary halt, when police intervened to arrest a man on the run. At this stage, details of the arrest have not been revealed.

Going down Champion boxer is for top-up Cathays peeping tom fees A ‘PEEPING TOM’ caught spying on naked students in Cathays has been banned from going near students or nurses for 10 years. Christopher Harman, a former Welsh amateur boxing champion and ex-soldier, was found guilty of voyeurism in court last week. He was caught looking at a naked student through the window of her Cathays house from his position in a garden last June. The 26-year-old was sent to the Crown Court for sentencing when it was discovered he had a previous conviction for exposure. His love of watching undressed young women was described in court as an ‘addiction’.

He left the court with a 12-month suspended sentence and a sexual offences protection order, banning him from “loitering near university or hospital halls of residence” and “loitering in the Cathays and Roath areas between 6pm and 8am”. Harman’s defence barrister Tim Evans denied that his client was a direct risk to students. Evans said that Harman “has never touched a female indecently”, but admitted that his client has “a problem which needs addressing”. The boxer will be placed on the sex offenders’ register for 10 years, with three years of supervision, and will apparently undergo a treatment programme for sex offenders.

PLANS ARE being finalised for a sponsored abseil down the Students’ Union building. The event will see 30 students make their way down between 11am and 3pm on Friday October 27. Money raised will be used to fund coaches, taking Cardiff students to the NUS’ national demonstration in London on Sunday October 29. Anyone who wants to take part in either of these events is asked to visit www.cardiffstudents.com to sign up. Union President, Joe Al-Khayat said: “This exciting activity will draw attention to an incredibly important cause, and also raise valuable funds for the campaign. I would urge as many students as possible to join in and show their suport for this event.”

4 gairrhydd

NEWS

OCTOBER.23.2006 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Rude awakening MERTHYR STREET: Crime wave goodbye to your laptop Katy Gorman Reporter A STUDENT had his bedroom window smashed as he slept, while an intruder climbed in and stole his laptop. Merthyr Street, where the incident took place, is located in the heart of Cathays, and is popular with students due to its proximity to the Students’ Union and the city centre. At approximately 8am on Monday October 16 a burglar climbed over the back wall of 61 Merthyr Street. Pete Wilson, a second year politics student, had left the curtains of his ground-floor bedroom open when he went to stay at his girlfriend’s house the previous evening, leaving his laptop on view. The burglar broke the window of the room and stole the computer. He then moved on to the other ground-floor bedroom, which he was able to enter as the key had been left in

the lock. When he entered the room to find its occupant, Hugh Jerome, in bed, he is reported to have ‘just stared at’ Jerome, before running out of the house. Jerome described the thief as an Asian male, about 20 years old and 5’10”, wearing a grey hooded jumper. The police stopped a person corresponding to this description shortly after leaving the scene but, despite the youth having £600 on him at 8am, were unable to detain him due to a lack of evidence. The housemates are understandably unnerved and the three girls living there are particularly worried. Hannah Lewis said: “I’m relieved that none of [the girls’] rooms are on the ground floor.” They are planning to construct a safety fence on the back wall to prevent similar intrusions happening in the future. PC Bob Keohane, the Student

Thieves framed

CCTV catches crooks

Liaison Officer recommended that students should always make their house appear occupied by leaving on a light, radio or the TV. Student houses are popular targets for theft, as they are likely to contain five or more computers, whereas a family home may only have one. He stated: “There are also problems in many Cathays’ houses concerning front doors which do not lock automatically when shut.” If your house does have such doors, PC Keohane suggests buying an alarm that rings when the door is opened. It is likely that this would scare off intruders. Although there have been no reports of violent student robberies, when confronted with a burglar the best method is to shout rather than attempt physical restraint, in case he or she is armed.

Voyeur caught committing indecent acts in student’s back garden. Helen Thompson News Editor

A FEMALE STUDENT was shocked to see a man in her garden indecently exposing himself as she looked out the window. The student was in her house at 2.30am when she happened to look outside into her back garden and caught a man staring in at her. The incident took place on Dogfield Street, in an area of Cardiff where other indecent acts have occurred over the last three to four years. It is not known whether the perpetrator of this incident is linked to the previous occurrences, and the man has not been caught. Student Liaison Officer, PC Bob Keohane, said: “A number of these type of incidents have been reported over the years, especially around Crwys Road. “People who indecently expose themselves rarely go on to assault people. “However, it is understandable that witnesses would feel upset about this and they should always contact the police.”

PHOTO: LUKE PAVEY

PHOTOS: SARAH DAY

Students targeted in crime wave Flash back Continued from page 1

The voice of gair rhydd, page 7

Helen Thompson News Editor CCTV CAMERAS owned by Cardiff University have been instrumental in the arrest of two burglars. Security guards watching the cameras could see feet disappearing into the open window of a student house on Colum Road in the early hours of the morning and alerted the police. The room that the burglars entered was unoccupied at the time, although there were people asleep in other parts of the house. The two left the house with several personal items they had found in the room. But the security guards had

COLUM ROAD: Smile - you’re on camera already called the police, who arrived and arrested the men as they walked along Colum Road away from the house. Student liaison officer PC Bob Keohane said: “There has been a spate of burglaries at the moment on Colum Road. There's been about three so far. “It's lucky that University security were keeping an eye on the cameras or

they might have got away. “They contacted us immediately and we arrived on the scene within minutes. The message we would send to students is to keep windows and doors locked and to leave a light on in the house when they go out.” The two men have since been charged with the burglary.

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NEWS

OCTOBER.23.2006 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Universties asked to spy on Muslim students PHOTOS: ADAM GASSON

Fun-runners break record Lucy Higgins Reporter NUNS, FAIRIES, rhinoceroses and Hulk Hogan were just some of the participants to turn up at this year’s Cardiff marathon. With nearly 10,000 people, many of them students, taking part in either the full course or the half marathon, it is thought to be the biggest event to date. One of the main focuses of the event was fundraising, and the fancy-dress clad runners have raised a record figure of almost £500,000 for various charities. Fourth-year medic Anna Nott and her boyfriend dressed as ‘fluff’, raising nearly £300 between them.

Lowri Bizby, a fourth-year Pharmacy student, raised £150 for Tenovus. She said: “This is the first time I’ve run the half marathon, but the atmosphere was so great, I’ll definitely be doing it again next year.”

Matthew Horwood Reporter A LEAKED DOCUMENT calling on universities to spy on Muslim and “Asian-looking” students has provoked widespread criticism from university unions and Muslim groups. The proposals are the latest in a series of developments to cause friction between the government and the Islamic community. The government document claims that university campuses are a “fertile breeding ground” for extremists and wants lecturers to report suspicious activity to a special branch. According to the 18-page document, universities are likely to be anx-

ious about what they call “collaborating with the secret police” and acknowledges “concerns about police targeting certain sectors of the student population (e.g. Muslims)”. The proposals from the Department of Education, due to be distributed to universities at the end of the year, have infuriated Islamic leaders already at the centre of a debate concerning the use of the veil in British society. Wakkas Khan, president of the Federation of Student Islamic Societies (FOSIS), said: “It sounds to me to be potentially the widest infringement of the rights of Muslim students that there ever has been in this country. “It is clearly targeting Muslim students and treating them to a higher

Should universities ‘spy’ on Muslim students? See page 9.

Sex, lies, a Cardiff nightclub and Calum Best Katie Treble Reporter

PHOTO: Mathew Horwood

level of suspicion and scrutiny. It sounds like you’re guilty until you’re proven innocent.” The document warns of “forceful, persuasive and eloquent” radical speakers at Islamic societies and calls for background checks on external speakers. It is feared that potential extremists could be singled out at university meetings and “groomed” for radicalization. Paul Mackney, University and College Union general secretary, said the proposals risked “demonizing” Muslims and warned of “serious consequences for civil liberties by blurring the boundaries of what is illegal and what is possibly undesirable”. Gemma Tumelty, president of the NUS, expressed concern at the proposals. “They are going to treat every Muslim with suspicion on the basis of their faith. It’s bearing on the side of McCarthyism.” The government has come under fire in recent weeks for its aggressive approach in combating extremism. Britian’s first Muslim peer, Lord Nazir Ahmed, warned that it had become fashionable to “have a go at the Muslims” and accused the government of a “constant theme of demonising” Britian’s 1.6 million Muslims. Ruth Kelly has denied ministers are “demonizing” Muslims, but warned that action to combat Islamic extremism had to be raised to a “new level”.

CELEBRITY PLAYBOY Calum Best (inset) was woken up by police in his hotel bedroom last week to be questioned over an alleged rape during a party at popular Cardiff club Aqua. The party took place after hours in the St Mary’s Street club, after which a woman claimed she was the victim of a sex attack by a group of men in a backroom office on the night of October 5th. Best, 25, was in the club at the time and was questioned the next morning by South Wales Police. The woman was forced to withdraw her rape claim after detectives were shown explicit mobile phone video footage of her snorting white powder from a desk, performing a sex act on one man and consenting to sex with two others. The accused men were released with-

out charge. The owner of the club, James Plummer, said he was “outraged”. He was not in the club that night since it was his birthday and the person left in charge was not aware of the happenings in the back office. When he found out, he told everybody to leave. Owner Plummer said: “We are an anti-drugs establishment and I’m shocked by any suggestion that drugs were being taken. Aqua has a good name. I will make sure this does not happen again.” Aqua ex-bouncer Andrew Miller of Cardiff defended Plummer and the club. “He’s a really nice guy and Aqua is a wicked place. I have never known there to be any drugs there. These reports do not represent what Aqua is like.” Best’s agent, David Read, said CCTV footage proves Best was not in the office at the time of the alleged attack, and was adamant that Best didn’t take any drugs.

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WORLD NEWS

OCTOBER.23.2006

No Iranianet for us thank you

Iran bans highspeed broadband

THE IRANIAN government has banned its Internet service providers from offering high-speed broadband. There are around five million Internet users in Iran who will find that their download speed has been cut to around a 15th of that which the average user in Britain enjoys. There has been no explanation from the Iranian telecom regulator, other than that the decision was taken by ‘a collection of policy-makers’. This step is the latest in a series of constraints on media freedom in the country. In recent months the foremost proreformist newspaper Shargh has been closed down, and the government has implemented a full prohibition on the ownership of satellite dishes. Police have confiscated thousands of the dishes already, and the purge still continues. It is believed that the general media repression in the country indicates that the motive behind the broadband ban is

to curb the incoming tide of western ideas. If Iranian Internet users are only able to use a slow internet connection then they will not be able to download the foreign music, films and television programmes that the authorities see as undermining Islamic culture. Likewise, the attempts made by political dissident groups to upload information onto the Internet will be severely hampered. Iran’s censorship of the Internet is aided by US companies who provide it with high-tech filtering programmes that allow the accessible content to be highly monitored and blocked. Iran filters a huge amount of websites; only China restricts access to more. The ban has come under a large amount of criticism. It is widely accepted that access to fast Internet connections is necessary to make scientific and technological progress. Ramazan-ali Sedeghzadeh, the chairman of the parliamentary telecommunications committee, said:

“Every country in the world is moving towards modernisation and a major element of this is highspeed Internet access. “The country needs it for development and access to contemporary science.” Even the traditionally-complicit

public are fighting the move; a petition labelling the move as “backward and unprincipled” is to be sent to President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Things get sticky in the heat of the Eurochocolate fayre

ITALY MAY BE known for pasta and medieval architecture, but four Italian builders have bucked the trend by constructing an igloo made entirely from chocolate. Made up of 330 dark-chocolate bricks and standing an impressive

Victoria Lane Reporter

Parenting for beginners

Parenting for beginners two

CHOCOLATE IGLOO: Gets warm reception at Euro-chocolate fair

1.65m high, it is claimed to be the world's first full-scale chocolate igloo. The igloo is one of the more ambitious entries of the annual Eurochocolate fair, which this year is being held in Perugia, Italy. At each fair, competitors from all over Europe use different types of chocolate to create the most wacky and artistic chocolate construction The igloo's life is expected to be

World News In Brief

ARMY BOMB disposal units were called to a house in Holland after a Dutchman was using old WW2 hand grenades as ornaments on his mantelpiece. Heimen van der Wal, from Makkum found the grenades in woods when he was a child and ever since has had them on display in his home. Van der Wal was totally unaware of how dangerous they were, even letting his children play with them. An army spokesman said: “The family were extremely lucky. One of the pins was so rusty, any sudden movement could have caused an explosion.”

Casa chocolate Emma Duester Reporter

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

short, as the builders did not take storage into consideration. Marco Fanti 45, from Perugia, said: “It is yet to be decided what to do with the igloo. It is being kept in doors at the moment but will start melting at 30C. With 3.6 tonnes of igloo, it is hard to know what to do with it.” Strangely, the organisers didn't seem to consider that holding the chocolate festival in Italy in October,

would mean that it is too hot for the chocolate to retain its solid form. The four Italians have previous experience building igloos, amassing an impressive record for making one within three to four hours. Mr Fanti said: “It was much more difficult than building a normal snow igloo, we did not anticipate that it would take over 23 hours to complete.”

A SPANISH woman and five other accomplices have been arrested in the Spanish city of Seville after allegedly faking kidnappings. The woman staged the fake kidnapping of her 15-year-old son four times, making his father pay more than £500,000 in ransom money. The son was in co-operation with his mother, calling his father on the telephone, begging him to pay up. The father paid the first three ransoms, unaware of his ex’s involvement; however, the fourth time he hired a private detective.

Grandparenting for beginners A JAPANESE woman, after using an egg from her daughter and sperm from her son-in-law has given birth to her own grandchild. The woman in her 50s gave birth last year, due to her daughter being unable to conceive due to cancer. Being the first surrogate mother in Japan has stirred debate, as Japanese government and key medical groups are opposed. Dr Netsu, the woman’s doctor has called on the government to review their stance.

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EDITORIAL & OPINION

OCTOBER.23.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

freewords the voice of gairrhydd

Est. 1972

Crime University’s all about learning. Not just about learning for the degree – the ostensible reason we’re all here – but also learning about ourselves and a degree of self-reliance. Unfortunately, that also includes learning about the harsh realities of life. For many, this, their first year away from home at university, will be the first time away from the protective parental clutches. They will learn that crime is not just something that happens on The Bill. Ensuring ground-floor windows are locked to prevent entry of burglars may seem like an over-cautious measure, particularly if you come from a relatively low-crime area, but it’s a simple one that ensures you won’t be a target for criminals for whom student areas are an all-tooeasy target. Walking down the unlit Taff Trail is an obvious danger; the route has been a favourite for both muggers and assorted perverts for as long as we can remember. Ultimately it takes no more time and is much safer to take the main road. There seems to be a major problem with sex attacks by cab drivers in Cardiff: gair rhydd has been reporting such incidents for at least three years. Students are advised to make sure that taxis they use are fully licensed. Even that may not be enough, and while this newspaper would not like to go down the path of advising readers to trust nobody, it may be wise to remember that there is always safety in numbers. Of course, there is still a widespread perception that crime – and Bad Things in general – is something that happens to other people. But the burglaries, muggings, indecent assaults and voyeurisms reported in this issue happened to ordinary students. Anyone of us could become a victim of crime, if we fail to take the necessary precautions. Or if we’re too inebriated to do so.

I spy It’s no surprise that a document leaked to the public urging universities to spy on Muslim and ‘Asian-looking’ students has been greeted with outrage from university unions and Muslim groups. This deliberate invasion of privacy merely perpetuates the already evident hostility between the government and the UK’s ever-growing Islamic population. Despite evidence pointing to ‘after school’ lectures fuelling some Muslim fundamentalists, they could just as easily exist in the privacy of their own homes. While this idea is voyeuristic and encourages Islamophobia, it could potentially help prevent young, influential Muslims from being brainwashed. But the government need to focus upon developing a much more respectful method of doing so before any real detrimental damage is caused.

Opus Dei: hard on the gay? Lucinda Day investigates why Ruth Kelly is delaying new lawsto give equal rights to homosexual men and women

his week the Gay Rights debate has, yet again, been at the centre of contemporary discussion with the delay of New Labour legislation. Communities Secretary Ruth Kelly is rumoured to be delaying the progression of gay rights due to her own strict Christian beliefs. The Liberal Democrats have asked her to give up responsibilities for equalities on these grounds. Kelly herself denies that this is the reason why the bill, which would prevent religious organisations refusing services to people on the grounds of their sexuality, has been pushed back from the current political agenda until April. I am sick of New Labour and Tony Blair's adoption of the George Bush style Christian Crusade on both Britain and the world. Yet, surely by delaying this bill New Labour may (just once) have a point?

I am sick of New Labour and Tony Blair’s adoption of the George Bush style Christian Crusade Now, do not get me wrong. I am all for Queer Theory (enlightening), gay clubs (always a good night out), gay marriage, gay love, bi-sexual love. spreading the love in general. But we all know Catholicism is not. So yet again we immediately see a typical display of the Lib Dem approach to anything and everything: making a desperate attempt to take the moral high ground on a populist and sensitive issue in order to secure more votes. The Gay vote, I am assuming. Why else should they expect Catholic Churches to open their doors after hours to Gay and Lesbian groups? Why else should they expect Catholic schools to teach homosexual sex education? And do they really think that Catholic-funded adoption agencies are really going to be celebrating that little baby Bobby has two Daddies? The answer is, and should be, no. Catholicism is an age-old institution. In my view, an outdated and authoritative one at that. It is, however, a religion that millions of people live their life by, respect, defend, and maintain. Yes, we live in a liberal democracy that should not discriminate against gay people or any other minority group. But we also live in a liberal democracy that should not discriminate against Catholics or any other group for having beliefs and choosing to live their life by them. The Catholic Church and society as a whole has, rightly, greatly progressed in its attitudes towards homosexuality in the past 50 years. If they are willing to ‘live and let live’ so to speak, then why should their own tradition and religion be infringed upon? The funda-

KELLY: Dithering mentals of Christian ideology and Queer Theory clash. And it is not the Liberal Democrats or New Labour’s place to attempt to reconcile clear-cut irreconcilable differences. With regards to other institutions, I would whole-heartedly support the Liberal Democrat claims that, “where organisations are working on behalf of the state, the only thing that should matter are the interests of the people involved.” Fertility clinics should not refuse to help lesbians. Hotels should not exclude same sex couples. The local football team should not favour heterosexual players. Yet where the Church is involved, an undeniable fundamental ideology is too. Why discriminate against the Catholic Church? Should the local Mosque also be prosecuted for refusing to let gay groups use their facilities? Should the Bible actually be re-written in order to teach children that there is nothing wrong with same sex love, or sex before marriage? Perhaps what perplexes me most is the stress that Liberal Democrats put on children. According to them it is the ‘children’ that would be protected under legislation. This could mean the church is prosecuted for preventative measures against homosexual groups

using their facilities. Are children actively part of homosexual groups these days? Not from where I’m standing. It is about time that society as a whole stops attempting to sexualise children and let them live a little. They can make their own decision about Catholicism and homosexuality as and when they are old enough to do so by themselves.

God may be all loving to all men of all sexualities. The Catholic Church is not As for adolescents, Catholic educated, who label themselves as homosexual? They can fully reject it, ignore it, or live alongside it, but should never assume it can be changed. The Catholic Church can never have its fundamental values ripped apart and discarded in the name of what we deem a postmodern, more tolerant democracy. Likewise, we should expect the same attitude from Catholicism towards homosexuality.

A mutual social contract can, and does, make the irreconcilable harmonious. Yet, what about the gay priest I hear you cry? I do not think for one moment the gay priest can whole-heartedly, fundamentally believe in a religion that rejects and condemns his natural desire as sinful. God may be all loving, of all men, no matter what sex, race, class, religion, or sexuality. But the established, traditional Catholic Church is not - and never will be. Furthermore, homosexuals should not be patronised in an establishment that makes them feel uncomfortable or wrong. They should branch out; find God in the heart or home if they want to, but not in the walls of the local Catholic hotspot. It quite simply does not make sense. So let us not be so quick - as I initially was when I first heard this news - to judge Ruth Kelly, the upper class Christian crusader who appears to be discriminating against homosexuals in favour of the Church. Instead, let us consider a new stance on the issue as a whole. That being, just perhaps, the gay community do not want to have their local meeting or disco in the walls of an institution that wrongly rejects them as human beings.

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

OCTOBER.23.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Pressure and Prejudice Lucie Apampa argues that asking universities to spy on Muslim students is idiotic, insulting and reinforces the ignorant Islamophobic stereotype

Since the war on terror began ‘human rights’ has become a dirty concept for many a politician By asking university authorities to spy on their students, the Department of Education is only exacerbating the already growing division between Muslims and non-Muslims in this country. The proposals by the Department of Education specify that ‘integrated Muslims’ (define that as you will) are less of a risk factor than more ‘segregated’ students. So why then does it draw up proposals that can only serve to make these targeted students feel anything but integrated? A recent study by the Federation of Student Islamic Societies (FOSIS), which gained feedback from 90,000 Muslim students, found that since the London July bombings the percentage of participants who felt ‘proud and comfortable’ to be Muslims in Britain, has fallen from 83% to 52%. Of course, people who disagree with my viewpoint might focus on the former adjective and argue that this finding is indicative of shame for

being a part of a religion that has, unfortunately and wrongly, become synonymous with terrorism. I, however, think that it is the second adjective that is most revealing about the way that the government has acted in the aftermath of the July 7 tragedy.

University campuses have been identified as fertile breeding grounds for mad clerics Only 52% of the students surveyed feel comfortable with their religion in this country; this is a major problem and we need to ask ourselves, or more specifically the government and the press, why this is and what does this imply? The same study also found that nearly half of Muslim students have experienced Islamaphobia, something that is rife in much of the press at the moment. It seems clear to me that those who do feel uncomfortable feel this way because it is how they have been made to feel. Since the ‘war on terror’ began, human rights has become a dirty concept for many a politician and Daily Mail reader; the emphasis now is on a means to an end, and what happens in between is just an inconvenience. The sentiment behind these latest proposals seems to be that the humiliation and discrimination that Muslim students may soon be made to face, is a fair price to pay for, possibly, anticipating and preventing terror attacks or ‘recruiting’ of young terrorist talent. I find it very sad that it is not difficult to draw parallels with the current situation in Britain concerning spying on young Muslims to the spying on of Jews in Nazi Germany. This is not to suggest that we should anticipate a mass genocide, but simply to acknowledge how much of the mainstream media and government policy has served to make Muslims scapegoats for the threats that this country receives. Why is it so hard for those in power to accept that they, too, are to blame for the hatred which some feel for Britain? If our government continues to deny any responsibility for the disengagement that many young British Muslims feel for this country, then they will never get to the root of the problem. To stigmatise and imprison those young men who become involved in or even just connected with - extremist groups, without ever questioning or listening to their motives, is to feed the symptoms. And breaching human rights by urging people to spy on their fellow citizens will never produce a cure.

What do you think? Email letters@gairrhydd.com

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n a continuation of what seems to be a constant attack on the human rights of British Muslims, it has been revealed that there are Government plans to ask university academics to ‘monitor’ Asian (or Asian-looking) and Muslim students. Of course, the word ‘spy’ has not been utilised by those ministers who have come up with this genius plan, but it doesn’t take a detailed analysis to see that this is exactly what lecturers are being asked to do. University campuses have been identified as ‘fertile recruiting grounds’ for mad clerics to come and brainwash potential terrorists (which all Asian men apparently are), who will of course go on with their evil plans to ruin ‘our country’ (this presumably does not include British Muslims) with a tirade of attacks on citizens and ‘British values’. In portraying Muslim clerics as possessing such hypnotic powers that they can change ‘normal’ young British Asian men into deluded terrorists, the Government fails - or refuses - to accept that a person doesn't just ‘switch’ from a happy British citizen to one who believes that it is his duty to attack the country in which he lives. Despite a wealth of research studies showing British Muslims to be unhappy with British foreign policy, Blair absolutely dismisses the quite obvious notion that the Government’s involvement in Iraq and Palestine over the past few years may be a significant factor in the rise of radicalism amongst Britain’s Muslim population.

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

OCTOBER.23.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Straw’s no Trinny Surely the government have more pressing issues than clothes? Katie Kennedy explores

ast time I looked, Jack Straw was no Trinny or Susannah, so why is he telling people what not to wear? No-one can say old grey men in suits and ties are the most approachable, fashionable and well-liked members of society. Seriously though, Jack Straw’s comments, if you haven’t switched on the TV or read a newspaper in the past three weeks, are his request/suggestion that Muslim women take off their veils in order to improve “community relations”. In one interview he said that a lot of people were scared of women who wear the veil. This translates as scared of people who are not like them. People with a lot of piercings scare the crap out of me. But I don’t think they’re evil. I wouldn’t ask them to take them out, just because I’m too frightened to get one done. We live in a democratic society that’s right, that catchphrase politicians haven’t been able to stop saying over the past few years, where people can say what they want, believe what they want and wear what they want.

Do they seriously think that if Muslim women take off their veils it will cure community problems? So why are politicians, the safeguards of this democratic society and the protectors of the right to freedom of expression for the public they represent, trying to force a change in the culture of a 1.2 million strong section of society? And now Phil Woolas, the communities and local government minister, whose job includes the issue of race relations, and who nobody had ever heard of before last week, has joined in too. I wonder why he would want to build this publicity around himself… I’m not saying that Jack Straw or Phil whatever-his-name-is do not have the right to freedom of expression, but do they seriously think that if Muslim women take off their veils it will cure a community’s problems? Won’t it then be the headscarves as well? Turbans? Habits? Where will it stop? If Christians traditionally wore bigger and more noticeable symbols than the cross, would this debate even be happening? Is it even other religions or cultures’ sole job to make more of an ‘effort’ to integrate? The Labour party think so, and this is effectively blaming Muslims and other communities for the racism they are victims of. Politicians have always blamed particular cultural groups for society's problems, such as blaming kids who wear hoodies for anti-social behaviour and crime, or rap music for ‘promoting’ gun culture.

NIQAB: A misread symbol?

Last time I checked these weren’t evil items or symbols, they represent faith So perhaps these comments are just following a trend, that if politicians blame Muslims for the racial tensions in society, instead of their own policies, then they’ll get off the hook with the electorate. Do religious symbols really cause offence? Why is the British Airways check-in worker being suspended from work until she agrees not to have her small crucifix on show around her neck? Why is the teaching assistant sacked for wearing her veil when she is perfectly adequate for her job? Last time I checked these weren’t evil items or symbols, but ones that represent the love for a God and a religion. And why oh why (a lot of questions, I know) does whether women wear a veil or not even matter? How come politicians are even talking about clothes for goodness sake? Surely

there are more pressing matters in the world in general. War, poverty, disease, starvation, the NHS, genocide, global warming… If they want to talk about clothes, maybe they should address their own dress code. Maybe we could have a debate. I might say that they don’t really need to wear expensive suits; and then they could get paid a bit less so they could wear clothes from Asda or the high street like everyone else. But I expect they wouldn't like that idea, probably because they think that they're entitled to freedom of choice, like everyone else is too. At the end of the day - and this was my original point - there are so many items of clothing and symbols and haircuts and general adornments that people wear that others do not like; so if Muslim women were to follow Jack Straw’s ‘advice’ then shouldn't everyone wear things not to offend other people? It is impossible to do so, so let’s not think about what not to wear (unless Trinny points out that it does make your boobs look saggy) and let’s be accepting of people who have different beliefs and cultural habits.

Andy Rennison muses over money issues in the financially tight world of students

ast week’s letters page got me thinking. In it were not one but two fiery complaints concerning the ungodly cost of something or other. Total lack of surprise was the obvious reaction. Moaning is an art at the height of its power while you’re at university. We have the petulant rage of adolescence making its last stand in the face of approaching adulthood, coupled with the dawn of overdraft-fuelled reality that breeds discontent and wrinkles. So we’re as arsey as when we used to be at home listening to Slipknot just to annoy people, but now nobody’s putting our jeans in the wash when we come home with Strongbow all over them. A lethal combination then; scientists have recently confirmed this stage of life to be responsible for the Korean War, rectal cancer, and Jack Johnson. And one thing that gets the student furnace smouldering like no other is money. Last week we had a rant regarding the cost of overdue library books, outshone perhaps by a neighbouring letter attacking the general practises of TV licensing. But should we really be moaning about our wallets? Certainly there are areas of campus life that deserve a critical mauling akin to the one dished out when Barbie tried to break the Arab market. Let’s take TV licences for example. I’m fine paying mine - anything to watch Neighbours uninterrupted. But licences for students, specifically freshers, are a farce. When I was in Talybont (old North, where England’s finest reside), I recall my gawp when I found out that we needed separate licences for each room, because the postman reckons there are six residences in each flat. That is frankly obscene. The entirety of House F with its 72 sardines occupies less land than an average semi-detached complete with drive and respectable garden. I understand the theory behind it, but that doesn't make it any less idiotic. So, OK, there's one sure-fire complaint. Of course, it doesn’t stop there. Libraries have a lot more to answer for than overdue fees. On paper I have no problem being responsible for acquiring my own textbooks. Thing is, it is regularly impossible to get them. The humanities library, as my own example, have repeatedly failed to provide enough copies of key texts for various English Literature modules, yet have no qualms with installing an expensive new automatic door that ranks alongside Chris Martin’s infant son as an unnecessary addition to the world. This would be fine if our resident bookshop was a vast resource covering every inch of degree reading. But it isn’t; it’s a Blackwells, infamous for its peak-time understaffing and key text understocking. Plenty of midprice CDs, though. Faced with this, can anyone be blamed if they call for essential reading to be provided? So we’re not short of things we shouldn’t be paying for; I haven’t even mentioned Rubber Duck. But what gets lost in the pungent fog of financial complainery are all the things that

we should be paying for. By far the biggest of these is council tax. Though I do perform a very personal jig when my student exemption form comes through the door, it is still laughable justice for undergraduates to be free of this fee. Students ride plenty of buses, piss down alleyways, produce lots of waste, lie in ambulances abnormally often, vomit on high streets, etc. All of these things are either supported or sorted out by council exertions. At the same time, students give relatively little back to their communities, as we’re not full-time employees or employers. Surely then each of us owes the council some form of compensation. Prescriptions are another exemption that we youths are undeservedly enjoying. The proportion of those visiting A&E for drunken student misdemeanours is on the rise, with more and more of us wasting doctors’ time and nurses’ patience.

One thing that gets the student furnace smouldering like no other is money Yet we’re kicking back with our free antibiotics the next day. We’re twisting the NHS’s arm with one hand and ripping its balls off with the other. Of course, to start charging young people would be punishing some for the conduct of others, but you can’t exercise national policy on a case-bycase basis. However, there’s one everyday part of student life above all else that we really should be laying out for: shopping trolleys. There’s nothing uglier than all the ditched ones dotted about our lands, with no end in sight. We all know we’re going to steal them, so why don't Tescos just sell them off for a few quid? I’d happily have my own, and lock it up out front next to the bikes - maybe give it some alloys. Having given it some thought then, I can only conclude that though our purse strings are yanked in several directions, we do plenty of yanking elsewhere to restore the monetary balance. Just count your blessings next time you rightly scowl at the £3 entry to Come Play.

anyone, any opinion. opinion@gairrhydd.com

gairrhydd

POLITICS

OCTOBER.23.2006 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

Time’s up for Kim’s Korea

Jun Kochi Political Correspondent

orth Korea has achieved what they wanted to: worldwide publicity. Condemnations from national leaders and headlines on major international newspapers must have all been calculated; they are all part of their game. Some newspapers suggested that we should lift economic sanctions so that they are willing to part with their nuclear capability. Unfortunately, such a strategy will not work. For parting with what the country has already obtained would be an embarrassment for Kim Jong-Il, and could potentially cause the communist regime to collapse. Thus the world must live with the fact that nuclear will stay as long as Mr Kim does. Despite impressions to the contrary, nuclear warheads are relatively cheap to build. In fact, it is a cost effective weapon in the sense that it can kill millions of people at one time. It is for this reason that the proliferation of nuclear to poor countries and even to terrorist groups such as Al-Qaeda is a clear and present danger. North Korea has achieved precisely what has been feared. It has been suggested that the purpose of the nuclear test is to maintain the regime in the face of an internal economic crisis. By condemning the US and showing off the country's military might to its own people, the North Korean government is telling people that the real cause of poverty is the US, not them.

READY : North Korea stands on a war-footing If this is the intended purpose, one possible solution might be to offer Kim Jong-Il and his inner circle a guaranteed defection to another state where he is likely to be allowed to live, such as Russia or Switzerland. History is abundant with such defections designed to achieve a peaceful handover of power. On the other hand, it is doubtful that such a defection is practically feasible.

The few states that still have friendly relations with North Korea in fact see the dictatorship as rather tricky to deal with. The leaders of those countries would risk their own political lives by allowing Mr Kim to enter their country. Given the fact that there are few communist or states left in the world, it is unlikely that any state will allow Mr Kim to stay in their country.

Perhaps the real condemnation has to be placed against the West, which had hitherto underestimated the threat of the totalitarian regime. The nuclear test by North Korea has changed all that; the West has at last realised the potential threat that this, or any totalitarian regime, can bring to the world. There are reasons to suggest that Korea will not be a second Iraq. Firstly, there is a moral reason why

North Korea must go. While Iraq’s alleged possession of biological and chemical weapons was founded upon dubious justifications, North Korea’s nuclear capability has already been proved. Secondly, it is unlikely that after a future war the Korean peninsula would be dominated by insurgents. Culturally, Koreans are loyal people deferring to the senior. This is demonstrated by the fact that post-war Korea managed, though it was politically unstable, to maintain a level of social order. It has been reported that North Korea’s nuclear program is still only elementary, and would be unlikely to pose a serious threat in the short term. By waging a short-term war targeted at removing the leadership and the central government, the world can prevent the dictatorship from developing a more sophisticated nuclear arsenal. It has to be recognised, however, that there are difficulties with discussing the possibility of war. One difficulty with having a war against North Korea is that the world lacks a strong leader. George Bush will have to go in 2008, and Tony Blair will go next year. Some may feel that their terms of office might not be long enough to wage an effective campaign. Whether it takes the form of war or self-destruction, it seems clear that it is time that North Korea must go. It was allowed to survive for too long, 17 years after the end of the Cold War. Indeed, it is one of the few countries where the very concept of human rights does not exist. Now is the time to act.

Wing and a Blair Polly Lord Political Correspondent

he world of politics is a fastpaced arena, like the music scene, and if you don’t develop, you die. Bands come and go, like politicians, and our prime minister has had the dilemma of ‘should I stay or should I wait until I‘m pushed?’ since before the last election. At the Labour Party conference he announced to his fans he would soon be stepping down. When Mr Blair was first elected, we were promised ‘things could only get better’; well, they haven’t. He will always be remembered as the man who pushed Britain into the war with Iraq, and as the puppet on a string to Bush. Just like Eurovision, he’s brought us fake smiles; the only difference is that Sandie Shaw won Europe over. His legacy is one that is particularly important to us students - he created the monster of tuition fees, which may not automatically send us into debt but do mean that after we’ve graduated we’re going to be running back to the Bank of Mum & Dad plc. Here in Cardiff, supported as we are by the Welsh Assembly, we have a smaller worry than our neighbours; however, to make up for that, house

prices have been pushed up 15% here, so we’ll still be in as much debt as those over the bridge. Money is certainly one worry that the government can afford us. Another is that cigarettes and alcohol will soon be a distant memory lost in the oasis of time due to the impending ban on smoking in public places. This may produce a cleaner atmosphere for us all; however, it may also lead to the closure of hundreds of smaller pubs and clubs around the UK as smokers choose to remain at home. This, coupled with the LateLicensing Act, suggests that our once bustling haunts will lose the atmos-

phere that first attracted us. So, we can surely be happy Mr Blair will be departing. His hope of “securing a brighter future” has created anarchy in the UK through, quite simply, not listening enough. Where the music scene has embraced change and developments, Blair and his government appear to have stagnated. Therefore, goodbye Mr. Blair, may you long be resigned to the record books along with other things from 1997 that shamed and embarrassed us while doing irreversible damage to our society, such as Teletubbies, Peter Andre, and the Spice Girls.

BLAIR: faced with his legacy

12 gairrhydd

LETTERS

OCTOBER.23.2006 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com

Dan M, second year, Cathays

Crime Central LAST WEEKEND I was at the Wales football game, depressing as the score line was, my real shock was waiting for me as I arrived home. On my return I found my car broken into, windows smashed and my sound system stolen (sub, amp etc.) The police were about as helpful as police usually are: in short totally incompetent and non-caring. I received more sympathy from the Autoglass man; he even told me how the welsh chavs (I’m

emma cries when she poos. she is the only one who doesn’t think it’s weird. abby’s got a cucumber but that’s about as far as she’ll stretch menon does a page. an iceage passes. then he does another page. wolfpig is a

Tim Hewish

Recycling Fiasco YOU WOULD THINK that Cardiff Council would WANT people to recycle, it makes them look good and cuts down on waste. In fact they seem to have spent substantial amounts of time advertising this on the TV. Shame they couldn't spend the money on making it easier to do! Because I no longer live in Cathays (but the Ghetto that is Adamsdown) I am told (after chasing around for the number) that I must PAY for my green recycle bags. But this is not enough of a hinderance, no, I must also pick up these bags from City Hall AND I will only be able to do this between 8am and 3pm Mon- Fri. Does the council not anticipate that people might work from 9-5? Anyway, after ringing up, checking what day the pick-up would

mutton chop do daa do daa you fools you don’t actually need to spend 30 pounds on a sype phone! please do not print the last msg sent from this number concerning a member from the blackweir pub. it was sent at 11pm on friday. thank you xx

be and where, paying for my bags and going all the way to City Hall at the relevant times to pick up my bags....after all that, yep! No one picked my bags up so now I have a small landfill in my kitchen. Not the best recycling policy now is it? Third year Law student

A Sensitive Subject I READ Amy Harrison’s (sic) article and though i did find it interesting, i also had problems with it. She failed to mention the main reason for suicide is not religious hysteria or following a 'hero' but because the person is deeply unhappy. From personal experience, I know that television programmes won’t make you suddenly go ‘oh yeah, that’s a good idea’. Also, stumbling upon a suicide website isn't half as easy as she made out. The people who go on those websites have mostly already decided to take their own lives. Her article seemed fairly subjective. Clearly she admired those who jumped on 9/11 and doesn’t like people who do it for religious reasons. However, just by putting facts and figures to your words doesn’t mean that you understand. If you are going to state an opinion, you should say that it is your opinion rather than subtly trying to add it to the article. But I find that when reading this paper, many of its writers feel that as

LAST NIGHT I had the pleasure of going to one of Cardiff's Student Nights, I shall not tell you where but let's just say that it's named after two big orange cats with stripes (*hint hint*). Now I realise that this club prides itself on being more "upmarket" than the "Big Brother" loving venue down the road, but why did a bouncer have to pick on me for having my feet out of my shoes and resting on the furniture? I had been dancing for a few hours in my flip-flops (it's not even like I had a lot of shoes on in the first place) trying to avoid the shards of broken glass, which, coincidentally, the bouncers appeared to do nothing about. they are at university, they have to try and sound like pompous academics rather than the people they are. Third year student gair rhydd says: The article in question was a feature. Features set out to combine fact and opinion together. This piece was never trying to be a news article. Regarding writers being pompous for the sake of it on this newspaper, we feel it necessary to say that those involved on this pape aim to be professional journalists rather than inarticulate, monosyllabic student stereotypes. While we appreciate your comments, we hope you appreciate that this was

So I thought I deserved a rest in their “lounge”. Forgive me for thinking that this “lounge” would be a place I could sit and rest my poor tired feet. It seems the name is purely to enhance the poncy ambiance on the place. It's not even that I minded being told to put my feet away but the fact that in a "classy" establishment, girls were staggering around with their boobs and bottoms on show, couples were groping all over the place, and yet it was my feet that were obviously bringing the club's "sophisticated" reputation down. What is happening to a society that allows girls' "assets" to roam freely but not my feet? Hacked-off-with-the-world year

always going to be a sensitive issue to write about and we endeavoured to do it with the respect it deserves. As always, we are grateful to hear comments about anything in gair rhydd.

We will endeavour to print anything that we think is worthwhile, but please remember that we do have space restrictions and some standards of decency. Please also note that the views expressed in these letters are not necessarily the views of Letters Desk, Cardiff University Students’ Union or gair rhydd.

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I WAS GENUINELY amused to hear that Boris Johnson has made up some utter bollocks involving paying students who get good degrees. (GR issue 823). Now we know that Boris and Dave are all for top up fees now, and therefore a market in higher education. But this really reminds me why students in general, and me in particular, hate the Tories. As well as claiming that there are “too many first class degrees,” (I thought it was just hard work,) Boris is suggesting that universities would need to raise the money themselves. Clearly under this stupid, stupid policy, the number of students receiving a first class degree would be wholly dependent upon how much cash the university in question had managed to raise. Uh? Sounds really fair! Hands off higher education Boris and Dave, you posh twats. The Tories haven’t changed a bit.

just guessing, but probably the culprits) broke in. Yet more is taken out of my student loan to pay for the broken windows, and I refuse to live in fear of the crime happening again, so I will be purchasing a new sub and amp in the near future. I could of wrote in f’ing and blinding about crime and how students are picked upon by the lowest people in society, however all I want is to make students like myself more aware of the dangers of crime and be on the look out. I just don’t want any one else’s car broken into! As a close Cameron’s hug a hoodie just isn’t going to cut it with me this time around.

text: 07791165837

Boris Bollocks

Foot Freedom

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The letters are pouring in now. Sorry we can’t print them all, but here are some of the good, the bad and the ugly letters that gair rhydd has received this week...

letter of the week

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COMMENT

OCTOBER.23.2006 COMMENT@gairrhydd.COM

? ??

The Ridler ??

Counselling students

here is a serious deficit at our union which affects the way each and every one of us conduct our everyday lives. “The Union,” claims cardiffstudents.com, “is run by its students.” Indeed. They're helped out by the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas. The sad truth behind the union spiel is that our union is not a truly democratic body. Student council, vaunted by the advertisers as the hub of student democracy, is not a truly democratic body. Student council had 140 people sign up for it this year. None of them were elected. Therefore, none of them can truly claim to have a mandate from the students which they are supposed to represent.

Student councillers should be elected to hold the sabb team to account 80 turned up to the first meeting. Over the course of the year that number is going to dwindle. Those left will be an unrepresentative group of undoubtedly well-intentioned and ethically minded communist nutjobs. They'll probably try to ban unethical food and, since they'll

them to turn it into a true parliament with some muscle. Student councillors should be elected, the number should be capped and the council should be given remit to look into more aspects of the charity side of the Union and to hold the sabbatical team to account on their policies and expenditure.

Those left in student council will be undoubtedly well intentioned and ethicallyminded communist nutjobs COUNCIL: democracy in action? invite all their friends along to the AGM, they'll probably be successful. So, long and short of it, student council is not all it's cracked up to be. Thing is, student council is still the legislature. It is the most democratic thing we have. The executive is democratically elected (based on who wears the

coolest outfit) but once an exec team are in position it is important to have a chamber of students for checks and balances, as well as to propose sensible new measures and keep the direction of the union in check. With a weak, unrepresentative council with no democratic mandate to fall back on it is all too easy for an

exec to lead the union off in the wrong direction. Student council matters, it is by far the best way for students to get involved and change the way their day to day lives are run. This is why students should call upon the sabbatical team which they have elected to do what is best for

Without these changes the student council will continue to be the radical and unrepresentative body that it already is, and the sabbatical team will probably still continue to treat it with the contempt that has characterised the last two terms. The catch 22 of the situation is that without drive from the sabbatical team, especially the President and VicePresident, nothing is going to change. I look forward to writing about this year’s loony policies and another year of a half-baked council.

Spot the difference?

visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

The Red Dragon Centre, Cardiff Bay, Hemingway Road CF10 4JY Tel: 02920 256261

hey do say that imitation is the highest form of flattery I suppose. Our colleagues at the Oxford University student rag seem to have taken this right to heart with their redesign, which, as you may be able to see, rips off the Guardian something horrid. Perhaps this attempt to copy the eminent national newspaper design tool for design tool is Oxford's way of trying to woo the judges for the Guardian Student Media awards, or maybe just a bit of infantile attention seeking. This unimaginative piece of redesign only succeeds in giving a handful of Oxford students a chance to boast to Mummy and Daddy about how good their copying skills are. It's a real shame to see what used to be such a creative and attractive newspaper stooping to what essentially passes for plagiarism in their recently unsuccessful quest for a Guardian Award. We at gair rhydd would like to extend our support to the Oxford Student at this difficult time, as we have always done when they've gotten

themselves into dire straights in the past. After all, we understand. Sometimes there are slow new idea weeks, sometimes no new idea weeks, and now, in special parts of England, 'lets rip off the Guardian to disguise our complete lack of new idea weeks'. Thanks guys, please don't stop. You keep us laughing.

Which page is the front/ back page of the Oxford Student?

14 gairrhydd

FEATURES

OCTOBER.23.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

Me your

The lobotomy is one of the most controversial procedures in medical history, Yet a modern form of it is still practised at Cardiff University Hospital. Ben Bryant Features Editor

ou could be forgiven for thinking that the lobotomy has been consigned to the history books by now. Probably the most notorious medical procedure of all time, the lobotomy involves the surgical detachment or destruction of the prefrontal cortex (frontal lobe) of the brain – a part that is understood to be associated with our emotional responses and personality. Widely adopted from the late 1930s to the early 1950s, the procedure was hailed as a panacea for mental illnesses. It quickly became apparent, however, that the clinical success of such ‘psychosurgery’ belied a disturbing, dehumanising effect on its victims. In the space of about 40 years, the lobotomy went from a Nobel-prize winning panacea to a completely defunct practice. Except that it didn’t – at least, not quite. While the crude procedures of early pioneers have long since been rejected, a modern form of psychosurgery is still practised at Cardiff University Hospital. These mind-altering procedures, known as anterior capsulotomies and anterior cingulotomies, involve making minute destructive lesions of about 20-25mm in diameter in parts of the frontal lobe or limbic system. Re-branded as ‘Neurosurgery for Mental Disorder’ (NMD), supporters argue that the techniques used are enormously advanced from the crude, invasive surgery of psychosurgery pioneers Egas Moniz and Walter Freeman (see box). Modern procedures are highly specified, using either an electrical current to generate heat (‘radio-frequency thermo-coagulation’) or employing gamma radiation to ablate target areas (the ‘gamma knife’). NMD is no longer used indiscriminately, believed to be appropriate only as a last resort in cases of severe depression, OCD and anxiety disorders. Yet opponents of NMD point out that it is still dogged by the major problems that faced the pioneers of psychosurgery. NMD is irreversible. It

University Hospital of Wales, Cardiff is a procedure that often has unpredictable outcomes. And more than 50 years on from its widespread application, NMD still lacks virtually any scientific support indicating the efficacy of its treatment. In its 2000 report on the status of NMD, the Neurosurgery Working Group of the Royal College of Psychiatrists stated that “Despite 50 years of NMD, the general quality of the outcome data is poor. There are no published randomised, prospective, controlled trials of modern operations”.

NMD is irreversible. It is a procedure that often has unpredictable outcomes. Perhaps this goes some way towards explaining why, in the 21st century, only two centres remain in the whole of Britain that still conduct NMD operations: University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff and Ninewells Hospital, Dundee. At the University Hospital, surgeons have conducted 56 NMD operations in the last decade. The most famous of these was performed on the actress Lena Zavaroni. The operation was announced a success, but Zavaroni died of pneumonia three weeks later. In an interview with The Sunday Times (19/02/06), consultant neurosurgeon for Cardiff hospital Brian

Simpson stated that there is a “marked improvement” in roughly half of those who undergo treatment for obsessivecompulsive disorder and severe depression. Studies in the 2000 NMD report, conducted from 1961-1980, show a similar success rate of about 50% for OCD, severe depression and anxiety disorders. NMD is not believed to be effective in the treatment of other mental disorders. Such a low efficacy rate is surely a glaring example of a fundamental problem with brain-altering procedures: a psychiatric problem may not have a physical solution. Since the 1960s, there has been a paradigm shift in ideas about mental disorder. It was theorised by early advocates of psychosurgery that mental disorders were due to malfunctions and faults within the brain. Lobotomy was seen as a solution to society’s worst delinquents – including nonconformists and homosexuals – as if one could actually ‘cut the filth out of the brain’. Nowadays, the nature/nurture debate rages fiercely, and the legitimacy of diagnosing a ‘mental disorder’ itself is questioned, as is whether it can ever be ‘cured’ by making adjustments to the brain. The charity Mind (www.mind.org.uk) believes that there should be “a rigorous review to determine whether any continued use is justified.” Of course, the application of NMD must not be exaggerated. It is only employed in cases where all other treatments have failed and, according to Brian Simpson, has the ability to ‘transform lives’.

Yet just as NMD raises questions about what constitutes a disorder, it also throws up questions about what constitutes a cure. Tellingly, in situations where NMD has been employed to treat intractable pain, it has lead not to a removal of the pain but rather to a lack of concern about the pain. Similarly, when Walter Freeman (see box) was engaged in lobotomising people, his yardstick for success was based upon how useful his patients became if they integrated themselves back into society. Personality cannot be quantified and does not enter into the decision that a patient has been clinically cured. As such, the alterations in character that some individuals experience as a result of NMD rarely make it onto the statistics table. What alternatives, then, are we left with? When faced with such miserable statistics, very little scientific understanding of exactly how NMD works, a lack of scientific support for the efficacy of procedures, and difficulty in deciding what constitutes a cure, it may seem remarkable that NMD is still practised. Perhaps the reason for its continued usage lies in the fact that NMD offers a physical, tangible solution to mental problems that cannot be seen or grasped. Vagus Nerve Stimulation and Deep Brain Stimulation are both examples of relatively new, theoretically reversible procedures that can be used in the treatment of severe depression and OCD respectively. In light of the recent decision to base the South Wales Neurosciences Centre in Cardiff, perhaps this will provide an opportunity to research into such

reversible, minimally invasive procedures. In any case, opposers of NMD are adamant that a review is required in order to determine whether any continued use is justified. This was exactly what the Draft Mental Health Bill of 2004 was meant to provide: an update and review of the Mental Health Act 1983. Astoundingly, the review attempted instead to turn back the clock on psychosurgery, including a clause that would have allowed doctors to perform NMD on patients without their consent, if it was considered that she/he was too mentally ill

The bizarre Psychosurgery was originally developed and promoted by Egas Moniz, a Portuguese neurologist. Although he was not the first to perform the lobotomy, Moniz’s promotion of the procedure earned him the Nobel Prize in 1949. An ambitious man, and one-time Portuguese ambassador to Spain, his career was almost put to an end when he was shot in the back by a dissatisfied patient. So began the controversial, colourful history of the lobotomy. It was an American neurologist named Walter Freeman, however, who truly popularised the procedure. Freeman’s ardent belief in lobotomy was a reaction to the disgust he experienced on seeing so many people confined to mental hospitals in the 1940s. He regarded it as “a terrible waste of manpower and womanpower”. A lobotomy patient might suffer a reduction in ‘personal dignity,’ he stated in his unpublished memoirs, but this was more than balanced by a gain of sufficient ‘social adaptability’ to re-enter the work force: “Even if a patient is no longer able to paint pictures, write poetry, or compose music, he is, on the other hand, no longer ashamed to fetch and carry, to wait on table or make beds or empty cans.” Freeman’s story is almost too bizarre to be believed. Buoyed by his belief in the ‘usefulness’ of the lobotomy procedure, Freeman

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FEATURES

OCTOBER.23.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

ssing with mind Below: former child star Lena Zavaroni underwent NMD aged 35 at Cardiff in 1999

to give it. Rejected by a scrutiny committee of MPs and lords, the Bill will no longer be revised. Instead, the 1983 act is to be amended. So it seems that a review is a long way off. Yet perhaps the future of NMD may be located by looking to the past; to the roots of medicine. In the Hippocratic oath are the words “I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone.” The lobotomy probably did more harm than good. In other words, it is not always better to do something than nothing.

RIGHT: Freeman performing to an enthralled crowd, 1940s

roots of Psychosurgery drove around America in his selfdubbed ‘lobotomobile’ from the early 40s to the late 60s, performing 3,439 lobotomies in that time. In the mid-40s, tired of Moniz’s lengthy procedure of drilling holes in the sides of a patient’s skull, Freeman adopted a procedure discovered by the Italian neurosurgeon Amarro Fiamberti. The ‘icepick’ lobotomy became Freeman’s trademark. Frequently performed under local anaesthetic, Freeman would first literally jab the ice pick through his patients’ upper eyelids, tapping the pick with a rubber mallet to penetrate the thin layer of bone behind. Once the ice pick had reached the brain, a simple swishing motion detached the frontal lobes. A master showman, Freeman would delight in the procedure, at times performing two handed lobotomies on both eye sockets at once to enthralled audiences, even causing a Colombia University professor to faint at one of his demonstrations. He performed it indiscriminately on adults, children and the elderly. Once, Freeman even inadvertently killed a patient he was lobotomising when he stepped back to take a picture of his handiwork, leaving his ice pick to slide into the patient’s brain. It is difficult to say how many people Freeman actually helped.

His personal judgement of success was based upon the ‘usefulness’ of his patients once they had been re-integrated back into society. In these terms, Freeman reckoned he succeeded in roughly 50% of his cases. Freeman’s casual, at times cavalier approach to neurosurgery is understandably difficult to comprehend today. In retrospect, it is easier to see why the lobotomy was initially so widely accepted. Post World War II, prior to the development of psychotherapy drugs, countless thousands of psychiatric patients fell into the category of ‘last resort’. Only shock therapy treatments were available to these patients, who often spent their lives in mental hospitals – places that could be humiliating and oppressive. Psychosurgery represented the first real treatment for chronic mental illness. If Freeman’s promotion of lobotomy did not, as some argue, provide a real ‘cure’ for the individual, he certainly believed that he was providing relief for the state. It was this dichotomy between clinical success and actual cure that eventually saw the end of lobotomy. The procedure became symbolic of many things: of a means of exercising state control on nonconformists (most notably in the film One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest); of the peak in the rise of

scientific narrative in the divide between reason and emotion; and of the ultimate support of nature in the nature/nurture argument. In short, it became, throughout the 40s and 50s, a way of ascribing a supreme sense of stability to the human condition. In the UK, some 10,000 lobotomies were performed throughout the 1940s and 50s. By the 60s, however, people were only too aware of the ability of the lobotomy to transform people into ‘vegetables’. Protests ensued, and the lobotomy eventually fell out of favour as drugs were widely adopted in the treatment of psychiatric illness. It is now banned in many countries including Germany, Japan and several US states. Nevertheless, psychosurgery has persisted under its re-branding as ‘Neurosurgery for Mental Disorder’ as a last resort measure in a small number of cases. Those forms of Neurosurgery for Mental Disorder still being conducted in this country today are targeted at the treatment of severe depression, severe anxiety and OCD. The treatment is much more specific, however, focusing on making minute destructive lesions in parts of the frontal lobe or limbic system. Surgeons at the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff have conducted 56 of these operations in the past decade.

Walter Freeman performing a transorbital (‘ice pick’) lobotomy on 12-year-old Howard Dully, 1961.

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INTERVIEWS

OCTOBER.23.2006 INTERVIEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Rich man Ben Richards is currently starring in Guys and Dolls in the Wales Millenium Centre. Amira Hashish caught up with the stage and star screen to give us the inside info. Ben Richards on... Touring

“Guys and Dolls is going fantastically. We have had a really great time so far. It kicked off in Glasgow. The houses were brilliant and we had two lovely reviews. It is a great company and I am really proud to be in it.”

Auditions

“I had seen Ewan Mcgregor in a version of the play and loved it. I was working with Stacey Haynes in Strictly Dance Fever. She is very high up in Live Nation who are one of the producers. She told me they were looking to kick the tour off and asked me if I would like to audition. I thought, why not? It’s a great role. The timing was good. I get on so well with the rest of the cast.”

Teamwork

“Clare Sweeney is lovely. She is very down to earth. A good Liverpudlian girl. She is great to work with”

Football fans

“The first TV serial I did was Footballer’s Wives and I was absolutely petrified. I had to start thinking about lots of things like focusing on the right part of someone’s face for the shot. You have to deal with a lot of truthful things and give the best performance. It took me a while to warm up. I remember seeing my first performance. I thought it was OK but then it got better and better. Then I moved on to Holby City where everything was a lot faster paced. The set-ups and pace were a lot quicker.”

The shock factor

“Footballer’s Wives is quite outrageous. I just wanted to get a really good TV role. When I looked at Bruno Milligan I thought he was a fantastic character that I could really do something with. Luckily they took a punt on a theatre actor and it worked. I think my character was very popular.”

Casting

“The whole cast was lovely. It was real teamwork. Gillian Taylforth is one of the nicest people in the business and I can say that without reserve. She is fantastic and down to earth. Everyone got on so well.”

America

“I am hoping to do some work in America soon. I have got myself a manager and an agent. I went out there for meetings and to sort out a manager and things are looking really positive. Footballer’s Wives is out there now anyway. It is doing well on BBC America.”

remember starting a lad up when he was 13/14. Now he has done numerous West End shows. He has just come back from Germany doing We Will Rock You. He started quite young but not as young as a lot of kids. I don’t think it matters when you start as long as you have the talent for it and the passion.”

Dance fever

The best bits

“My judging on Strictly Dance Fever really came about through Arlene Phillips. She had been my director and choreographer in the past.”

Judging

“Me and Arlene would have a disagreement and she would turn to me and say, ‘that was fun, wasn’t it?’ It is never personal. We were all opinionated and passionate about the show and the dancers. They really wanted it badly. That is very infectious. We knew that our opinions were about the show and not us personally. So despite what people might think all the judges got on really well with eachother. Of course, we had our disagreements. When they happened you saw them happen. When it was cut that was that.”

Reality TV

“I don’t really like reality TV. I don’t see the point in people doing reality TV just to raise their profile. Strictly Come Dancing is different from reality TV shows. We now have two dancers out there who are working professionally. A good percentage of the money was going to a charity but I don’t see the point in reality TV prizes if the money is not going anywhere decent. A lot of reality is pointless. The money used to make the shows would be better spent on making decent dramas, for which we are world-renouned. How much do certain shows based out in Caribbean Islands cost when we could do two dramas for that?”

Training

“I trained in Lane and my classical drama came later in the Acting Centre. I used to dance in a local stage school from a young age.”

Starting young

“I have had a very diverse career but I love all aspects of it. Each thing I do is very different but I love everything equally. It’s like saying do you prefer a fillet steak or a chocolate desert? You like them both for equal reasons. On camera, when it goes action and you are trying to create something magic that is very truthful, it is wonderful. You know that that is going to be broadcast to an awful lot of people and that is exciting. But then when you are in a live studio you have to think on your feet. That is another type of adrenaline. When you go out on stage you experience something else. I am very luckily to be involved with three different types of performance.”

Private

“It is hard to juggle my career with my private life but I have a very very understanding wife. I have little free

time. When I do have free time I spend it in the gym. But my wife is completely understanding and I really appreciate that.”

Around the house

“I am no good at cooking. I’m rubbish. I like going out for food and my wife is a great cook too. I give her a lot of requests. I have quite a strict regime on food. Well, I say that, chocolates and crisps are my weakness. I tend to eat a lot of salads, chicken and fish too. I eat an awful lot so I try and eat a lot of good stuff as opposed to a lot of rubbish.”

“When it comes to food shopping, Marks and Spencer is great when I can afford it. But on the whole I go to Tescos.”

The million pounds question

If I won a million pounds the first thing I’d do is pay off my mortgage. It’s very boring but I would love to be able to do that. I would probably look at upgrading. I would go on a nice holiday as well. Preferably to Turks and Caicos, to a place called Parrot Key. I can’t afford it yet but I would be straight there if I had the money.”

CALLING ALL

. . . S T N E D U T S UR CONSIDER UNITE FOR YO N IO STUDENT ACCOMMODAT

IT’S LIKE

A HOUSE YOU SHARE WITH YOUR MATES, BUT YOU ALSO GET YOUR OWN SPACE

FIND OUT

“I

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Acting in Ben with his Strictly Dance Fever judges

The weekly shop

Urban Lifestyle

In great locations

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OCTOBER.23.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Russian Roulette

MEDIA

Another journalist has become the victim of governmental-led contract killing. Anna Politkovskaya has fought with words against the cruelties in Chechnya, and now she had to pay the price for her honesty and and courage to make a change. Pierre Masson Media Correspondent

he murder of a Russian journalist raises once again concerns about reporters’ safety around the world. Last Saturday, Anna Politkovskaya, 48, was shot dead in her apartment building in the city centre of Moscow. The journalist was well known for her work as a war correspondent in Chechnya and her principled positions against Moscow’s brutality against civilians there. The mother of two was killed with four bullets. In her country, she was a fierce opponent to Putin’s regime and her death raises questions about the government implication in which the former president Gorbachev is described as being “a grave crime against the country, against all of us.” It is believed that her work as a journalist is the direct cause of her assassination. Many Russian extremist associations had listed her as being “a danger that needs to be taken care of.”

Russia is the third most dangerous country in the world for journalists According to the deputy editor of Novaya Gazeta (the New Newspaper in Russian) Andrei Lipsky, Politkovskaya was working on a story exposing tortures of opponents of the Chechen prime minister. He also declared to the

Guardian: “unfortunately she did not finish it.” The newspaper offered a 25m-rouble (£500,000) reward for information leading to the capture of her killer(s). Politkovskaya faced many death threats in the past. The police declared that it was probably the work of professionals and are now looking for contract killers. The Muscovite population, on the other hand, blames the Kremlin for killing the freedom of speech. Putin promised today an “objective investigation”. This murder raises issues about the safety of journalists around the world. According to the Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ) based in New York, Russia has been the third most dangerous country in the world for journalists since 1992, behind Iraq and Algeria. Forty-two journalists have died in Russia since then and most of the assassinations have not been resolved due to a lack of political involvement and pressure. According to Reporters Without Borders, an association working for the freedom of the press worldwide, 56 journalists have been killed last year along with 17 of their collaborators. 129 reporters have been arrested for no real reason. 107 journalists have been killed in Iraq alone since the beginning of the conflict in 2003. Last week, Karen Fisher and Christian Struwe, two German freelance reporters who were collaborating for the German public radio television Deutsche Welle were killed in Afghanistan. Even though the Afghan police have identified six possible suspects, nobody has been arrested. On August 2 2005, Steven Vincent, American freelancer who collaborated

Holding a picture of Politkovskaya, a nation mourns her death with the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, was kidnapped and shot dead in Basra in Southern Iraq. He had been living in the town for several months as he intended to write a book about the history of the region. On June 6 2004, Irish BBC cameraman Simon Cumbers, 36, was killed in a shooting by supposed Islamic radicals in the Al-Souwaïdi district in Riyadh and his colleague Frank Gardner, 42, was seriously wounded. Many other murders have come into the news in the past few years, raising

F ictional realism

mock-documentary fictionalising the death of American president George Bush has been called both ‘shocking’ and ‘thought-provoking’. Since its screening at the Toronto Film Festival, where it also won the International Critic’s Prize, Death of a President has received much criticism. Set in October 2007, the film simulates a documentary that would be broadcast in 2008. It recounts the assassination of President Bush in Chicago, during an anti-war rally. The story portrays the President delivering a speech to business leaders where he is then assassinated by a sniper. After the assassination, the film shifts very much to a documentary mode through a series of carefully constructed interviews with former ‘employees’ and ‘suspects’ inviting the viewer to follow the FBI’s search for the assassin. Death of a President is therefore constructed by merging fiction and reality, making use of actors, computer effects and archival footage. This combination of styles results in almost alarming realism. And it is this blurring of the boundary of the fictional

questions about how the visited countries ensure the security of journalists. Some of them were related to war coverage in Iraq and Afghanistan. Many consider that the risk comes with the territory but Reporters Without Borders does not accept the murders of journalists simply because they became an annoyance to the leading groups and parties in the countries they live in. The association is working hard to try and ensure the security of every reporter in the world but they face

great hostility in countries where the freedom of the press has not been recognised and reporters are seen as an enemy of the state and the acting governement, such as in Russia. At least the murder of Anna Politkovskaya managed to raise public awareness about the topic she was working on, and the world starts thinking again about the security of journalists who put their lives in danger in order to report news to us from every corner of the world.

and the reality that has caused such feelings of unsettlement and disturbance among many people. The notion of simulating an assassination of a standing president has created much controversy and debate, and nowhere more than the United States. The Republican Party in Texas stated the film to be “shocking” and “disturbing”, calling for it not to be screened. Two major American film chains have already announced they are refusing to show the controversial 90minute film.

concern that this drama could trigger a real attempt to kill the President. He told the Daily Mirror: “There’s a lot of feeling against President Bush and this may well put ideas into peoples’ heads”. However, British director Gabriel Range and the film’s distributors have defended the film as being merely a “thought-provoking” political thriller. Death of a President in no way encourages violence and is not a direct attack against President Bush. If anything, the President is depicted as remaining calm during moments of high-tension and as well-liked by those close to him. Aimed to grip the audience, the film is set out to be a powerful drama which seeks to examine the political effects of the ‘War on Terror’ within America. Currently booked to play mostly in smaller art/ indie cinemas, Death of a President is not the first controversial film to be released by production company Newmarket. In 2004 they released Passion of the Christ directed by Mel Gibson, which again stirred much controversy.

This drama could trigger a real attempt to kill the President Together, Regal Entertainment Group and Cinemark USA boast more than 8,800 screens in 40 states. They have blamed the film’s subject matter as being the cause of their decision. Further criticism came from the UK TV pressure group MediaWatch. Their spokesman John Beyer labelled the film as “irresponsible”. He displayed a

20 gairrhydd

HEALTH

OCTOBER.23.2006 HEALTH@gairrhydd.COM

Dieting Dos and Don’ts Do

Don't

Health editor Liz Stauber offers some top tips about how to stay healthy and in shape

offer, if kept dry it will keep for the whole term. * Oily fish, such as mackerel, sardines, pilchards and salmon may protect against heart disease, they are great brain food and can help to improve concentration and they are available in cans, making them cheap and convenient. * Even dried fruit counts and you can pop some in a bag to nibble between lectures. * Eggs are versatile and very simple to cook, scrambled or poached on wholemeal toast or even made into an omelette with vegetables added, they are a meal in themselves.

* Cut down alcohol consumption, all those cocktails are full of sugar. * Exercise more frequently. * Eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, aim for 5-a-day. * Sit at a table for meals. If you sit in front of the TV, you'll want to eat every time you watch it. * Drink plenty of water. This will help you lose weight naturally and improve your skin.

An apple a day Health look at skinny celebrities and how to eat a balanced diet on a budget

Georgina Wilmott Health Correspondent

et’s face it, the vast majority of us are never entirely happy with our appearance. In fact, it has been discovered that 98% of women in the UK are unhappy with their body shape. It might appear natural to want to lose a few pounds, but when does this desire become an obsessive reality? It has recently been reported that 80% of nine-year-old suburban girls are concerned about their weight. That's four out of five girls that have not even reached puberty yet, already worried about their figure and considering dieting. Why is this, when a third of the world live in abject poverty? When we look at the media, we are surrounded by images of supermodel skeletons that make us feel inadequate. Girls in particular are influenced by the lives of celebrities they are exposed to. At a young age, they learn to associate fame and success with looks; they want to be like their idol and feel the only way to be successful is to starve themselves into becoming anorexic stick insects. This sort of behaviour is not what you would expect of a role model. Icons like Victoria Beckham, Tara Palmer-Tompkinson and Nicole Richie have just taken this weight conscious-

ness too far. Being on diets consisting of celery sticks alone, so that they can have waist sizes of the average sevenyear-old, is neither healthy nor attractive. Celebrities may not realise, but they are in a position of responsibility as trends originate from copying. Coleen McLoughlin, Charlotte Church and Kelly Brook have beautiful womanly curves, admired by the public, but have been criticised by the press. They are the real superstars in showbiz to ignore rude remarks like ‘she's getting chunky’ or ‘could she be pregnant?’ by being proud of their figures, and rightly so. I had a friend who wanted to do a dance degree and one school even told her in an audition that they would take her on provided she lost a stone. This girl was petite as she was and luckily she had the sense to reject the offer, but if she hadn't she may have followed many others into developing eating disorders and disappearing out of existence. Being called fat isn't nice and regardless of your size, I bet you've all been called it at least once before. ‘Fat’ is frequently used as an insult, or sometimes even more cruelly as a joke, but often these comments are enough to push some people to the brink of obsessive insanity. The average dress size has just increased from UK size 14 to 16 but

retailers have still introduced the American equivalent of a size 0, UK size 4, encouraging us to become unhealthily thin. 30% of women are continuously worried about their weight, to the extent that they are in constant limbo in the decision over whether to eat something or not. I'm sure you guys out there will agree with me that calorie counting isn't exactly the biggest turn on.

30% of women are continuously worried about their weight So, at the end of the day, would losing a few pounds really make you any happier? Probably not. We should get out there and enjoy life. Enjoy the food you eat as part of culture and above all be healthy. In Britain we are lucky enough to have such a wide variety of foods to choose from, shipped in from all corners of the globe. It does seem so ironic when a third of the world are starving, as they are too poor to afford food to eat, the rest of us are starving ourselves through vanity.

* Avoid ready meals and takeaways, they are expensive and lack nutritional content. * Have a glass of fruit juice every morning, this counts as one portion of fruit. * A jacket potato with beans is simple and nutritious. * Make a sauce for pasta using canned tomatoes, onions, garlic and herbs. * Porridge provides an excellent start to the day, it is packed full of slow release carbohydrates that will maintain your energy levels throughout the morning. * Frozen vegetables are really convenient and cheap and they contain as much, or even more vitamins and minerals than fresh ones. * Smoothies are a great way to eat more fruit, you could club together and buy a house blender and then have a draw to decide who takes it home. * Canned fruit is delicious, remember to go for fruit in natural juice rather than syrup, berries are full of antioxidants that may help to protect against heart disease. * Buy pasta in bulk when it is on

* Compare yourself to a friend, everyone has a unique Body Mass Index (BMI). * Punish yourself; allow a day off to indulge. * Skip meals. Missing breakfast will only decrease metabolism. * Go shopping when you're hungry, you will buy junk food. * Overdo it. You are more likely to get best results if you lose weight gradually.

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JOBS & MONEY

OCTOBER.23.2006 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

Mind the gap Before students and graduates start to plan their gap year or summer jobs, Jobs & Money discover that forgetting to pack their toothbrush will be the least of their worries Gillian Roberts Jobs & Money Editor

ap years and summer jobs are expected to be taken up by around 200,000 students and graduates each year, yet many are ill-equipped for the journey they are about to take. The positives are endless: a life changing experience, a chance to see the world, an opportunity to try new things, meet new faces, learn new skills and not forgetting the fact that your CV will love you forever. But,

whether travellers are going to the other side of the world or somewhere nearer to home, there are high risks and the journey must be thought out with careful precautions. It doesn’t take a mastermind to work out that travel insurance is essential, yet worryingly, one in five gap year travellers have not thought about it, according to Direct Line Travel Insurance. When taking out a policy, students must check that it lasts long enough and covers them for whatever dangerous activities they wish to undertake. It

is also important to check if you are covered for all the countries you plan to visit as well as if it covers continually travelling. Some countries are excluded from policies if the Foreign Office has advised travellers not to go there, for example war zones. The website, www.fco.gov.uk/travel is the place to check before you plan to go anywhere that could be potentially dangerous. A policy for 12 months with Direct Line’s discover policy for a 21-yearold is around £204 whereas STA travel worldwide backpacker policy is £207.

Yet it is advisable to shop around for the best deal, as there are plenty of providers to choose from. But a once in a lifetime trip does not come free, and students who budget and carefully plan out their trip can enjoy their time far better. There are different ways in which students can travel, firstly through an organisation where you pay a fee and then in some cases they help you with flights, accommodation, living arrangements and costs. The youth development charity Raleigh International offers places for £3,000 while Changing Worlds offer placements from Chile to Tanzania from £1,775 with flights and full board. Secondly, a trip can be arranged personally, which adds the bonus of not being tied down to a particular place or organisation for an amount of time, but this can be costly.

Choosing a savings account which pays the most interest is advisable, but avoid choosing an account which has a good rate to begin with but then changes before you return, cutting down your savings. Be aware of hidden costs when using credit or debt cards and transaction fees. Checking balances online regularly is the best way to ensure your finances are in check. Marks and Spencer, Post Office and Travelex offer commission free currency and good rates. It is best to avoid travellers’ cheques or pre-paid cards as they tend to be expensive to buy and use abroad. But travellers shouldn’t be put off by the planning of the trip as the benefits outweigh the time put into organising everything. Just don’t forget your toothbrush.

Karen Eeuwens tells us about her last summer job

I UNISTAFF JOBSHOP is Cardiff University Students' Union's Student Employment Service. It is a free service for students looking for part-time, temporary or vacation work. A wide range of jobs are available within the University, the Students' Union and with local companies. We have lots of one-off assignments as well as ongoing part time jobs, so you can work as much or as little as you like. To register, please come in to see us between 10am-4pm Monday-Friday, bringing your student card and National Insurance card (UK students) or passport (non-UK students). Your details will then be added to our database and you will receive regular emails about new job opportunities.

We urgently require experienced bar and waiting staff over the forthcoming Rugby Internationals on November 4, 11, 17 and 25. Please contact us on 029 20781535 or pop in to the Jobshop (ground floor, Students’ Union). Opening hours 10am-4pm Monday-Friday

t’s a hard life being a student. After three gruelling terms of partying, boozing, and hanging out with your best mates 24/7, a long restful summer awaits. Most people would kill to be in your shoes but, as you and your flatmates bid each other farewell and head back to your parents at opposite ends of the country (or even the world), the four best months of the year can suddenly seem to stretch before you like an endless void. It’s all too tempting to put your feet up, find yourself an unchallenging part-time job and spend the rest of your time staying out until the early hours and rowing with your parents. Believe me, my first summer back from uni was not dissimilar to this. It was when I returned to university and found myself sitting in silence, while my friends recounted each other with tales and adventures of summers spent around the world, or in a fulfilling job, that I vowed to make the most of the next one. After much deliberation, I decided the best way to do this was to avoid going home altogether. Instead, I headed across the Atlantic and spent the summer working on a children’s camp in America, with the help of CCUSA. I first heard of this organisation through a friend at university. She had spent the previous summer on a camp in Maine and returned to university practically glowing from the experience. Although I had no experience with kids, no ‘specialist’ skills and no idea what to expect, I decided to throw myself in at the deep end. I contacted CCUSA, paid a small fee and attended a short informal interview (more like a chat over coffee, really!). A few months later I was en route to New York for a day of training, before heading to a summer camp in Maine where, it transpired, I would be teaching art. The camp was located in the country-

side and consisted of cabins, surrounded by hills and woodland. There was a beautiful lake, where I had the opportunity to try waterskiing and ‘tubing’, along with many other activities. My first art lesson was a bit nerve-wracking (I hadn’t picked up a paintbrush since my GCSE art exam and was not used to being faced with a row of little faces, looking up at me expectantly). However, the atmosphere was very laid-back and I soon got used to teaching and living with the children. I was working alongside counsellors from all over the world, including Poland, Israel and Australia. We soon became like family to each other and, before long, my camp felt like home – not like a job at all! We were all rewarded with one day and three evenings off per week, which we spent drinking in local bars and exploring the local area. We were also paid ‘pocket money’, depending on our age – being 21, I received a total of $935 (about £500). For a fee of only £199, CCUSA arranged my flights, working visa and travel insurance. Of course, food and accommodation is also included. All that they ask in return is that you can commit to nine weeks of work between the months of May and August. Apart from being an amazing experience in itself, and looking impressive on your CV, this programme provides you with an unrivalled opportunity to explore the US very cheaply. After finishing work on camp, the visa allows you a 30-day grace period, which you can use to travel around the US, perhaps visiting friends you have met at camp. I spent two weeks travelling and met some amazing people along the way. I returned home feeling much more confident and fulfilled than I would have otherwise, and with friends and contacts all over the world. For more information on CCUSA, or to get involved, visit www.ccusa.com.

Summer camp tips Apply early: The fee is only £199 if you apply before Christmas. After this it is slightly more expensive but still affordable. Take a credit card: Although it is not a good idea to spend money you don’t have, a credit card can be useful if you can’t get to a bank to change traveller’s cheques, or for use in an emergency. Just make sure you only spend what you can afford to pay back, or you will be charged interest. Only cash your paychecks when you need them: At my camp I received a paycheck every fortnight. As we had few opportunities to spend money, I found that each paycheck lasted me a lot longer than two weeks. I kept my paychecks safe and only cashed them when I needed the money. This helped me to budget more effectively. Travel cheaply: The best way to explore the US is to stay with friends you have met at camp. This saves on accommodation and transport costs and means that you will get an insight into the true American ‘way of life’, instead of just being a tourist. Useful Contacts www.gapyear.com www.findagap.com www.gapadvice.com www.fco.gov.uk/travel www.statravel.co.uk www.wwv.org.uk www.cheapflights.co.uk www.raleighinternational.org.uk www.changingworlds.co.uk

22 gairrhydd

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

OCTOBER.23.2006 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

Lil’ Kim in da club? Despite the uproar, doubt remains as to whether or not Kim Jong-il’s isolated regime has really joined the world’s club of nuclear powers Historic nuclear explosions:

Chris White Science Correspondent

hough tests on air samples prove the presence of radioactive material, there are still doubts that North Korea’s nuclear test was completely successful, with some suggesting that the explosion was too small for a first nuclear test. The test caused an earthquake measuring 4.2 on the Richter scale, indicating a blast equivalent to one kiloton of TNT. One North Korean official allegedly told the Chinese government that they planned a 4kT test, but even this would be unprecedentedly small – the current smallest first test is Pakistan’s 9kT detonation in 1998. Plutonium-based implosion-type weapons, such as that which North Korea is believed to have tested, become harder to build below around 10kT.

The test caused an earthquake measuring 4.2 on the Richter Scale The weapons work by using conventional explosives to compress a mass of plutonium and cause a chainreaction that releases a huge amount of energy. The compression must be perfectly symmetrical to achieve a complete detonation. The core of fissile material is sur-

Kim Jong-il instigated his nuclear program despite international condemnation rounded by interlocking high-yield and low-yield explosives with a “tamper”, or pusher, between them and the nuclear material in order to compress the core. The explosives cannot simply be detonated across the outside of the tamper simultaneously, as the plutonium will simply escape in the gaps. They are instead detonated at precise intervals to create a perfectly spherical shock front, requiring not only precise calculations but also accurate control of the timing of the explosions. With smaller bombs, the required precision is higher and the calculations

more difficult. Some experts believe that North Korea would have attempted testing a basic weapon before trying a more complicated design – walking before they can run. French proliferation expert Bruno Tertrais told CNN: “The devil is in the details. It's like cooking. The fact that you have the recipe does not make you a chef.” Sceptics believe that North Korea’s test “fizzled” rather than exploding completely, with the core only partly detonating due to poor timing causing a weaker chain reaction. Phillip Coyle, an adviser to a US think-tank, was also quoted by CNN,

and said: “I think they got a partial success. It’s enough for them to claim they’re a nuclear power.” North Korea does possess weaponsgrade nuclear material and is clearly attempting to build a working bomb. However, ruling out their acquisition of higher-level technology that could produce a miniature weapon (not possessed by the providers of their current expertise, Pakistan), they may have as yet failed to master technology dating from the second world war. Membership of the nuclear club remains out of their reach, at least for now.

“Trinity” test, the first ever nuclear test, USA, July 16 1945, 19kT “Little Boy” bomb dropped on Hiroshima, USA, August 6 1945, 15kT “Fat Man” bomb dropped on Nagasaki, USA, August 9 1945, 21kT “Joe 1”, first Russian test, Aug 29 1949, 22kT “Hurricane”, first UK test, October 3 1952, 25kT “Ivy Mike”, first thermonuclear test, USA, November 1 1952, 10,200kT “Gerboise Bleu”, first French test, November 13 1960, 60kT “Tsar Bomba”, largest ever nuclear bomb, USSR, October 31 1961, 50,000kT “596”, first Chinese test, October 16 1964, 22kT “Smiling Buddha”, first Indian test, May 18 1974, 12kT “Chagai-I”, first Pakistani test, May 28 1998, 9kT

Testing times

Science in brief Ceri Morgan Science & Environment Editor

Cloak of invisibility

Experts in North Carolina have created a cloak of invisibility under laboratory conditions. A team including US and British scientists at Duke University hid a small object from microwaves by deflecting them around the object and diverging them on the other side. The object used in the experiment is a copper based ‘metamaterial’ who’s structure can be manipulated to change the direction of the microwaves. The invisibility could not be detected by the naked eye, but instruments were used to create an image of the waves bending around the cloak.

Violence linked to food

The US Government are undertaking a study exploring the links between junk food and violent behaviour.

US and British prisoners are taking part in the trial, and so far the results suggest that offenders may not always be responsible for their aggression. A trial involving UK prisoners showed that violent offences committed in prison fell by 37% from inmates who were fed multivitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids. Now other countries including Holland are planning to carry out similar trials in an attempt to curb prison violence.

Vitamin D can help fight breast cancer Researchers from Imperial College London have released a paper concluding that Vitamin D may actively help to curb the onset of breast cancer. The vitamin stopped cancer cells dividing in laboratory experiments. These latest findings may help bring about more effective treatments for the disease.

gairrhydd

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

OCTOBER.23.2006 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

Fish-er price By royal approval

Marianne Fisher Environment Correspondent

e all know that the rainforests are under threat, but when it comes to our oceans things are a little different. We know they are there, that they have fish in them and that they cover 70% of the Earth's surface - and that’s about it. What people don't realise is just how diverse the oceans are, or how many of the fish we think of as common and boring are in danger of being wiped out completely. Our oceans contain about 178,000 species, from tiny anemones to the massive blue whale. That's just the ones we have discovered. There may well be many more as yet unknown to science. We know more about space than the bottom of the sea. We tend to take fish for granted. It forms part of our national dish - fish and chips, and, thanks to the evergrowing demand for low-fat, highnutrition food our annual fish consumption is going up and up.

We know more about space than the bottom of the sea The market is currently worth £1.8 billion a year. However, next time you eat your fish fingers, remember that three times that amount of sea creatures will have died in the process of getting your meal from sea to plate. Thanks to grossly wasteful fishing methods, 80% of what is caught at sea is known as 'bycatch'. This is the stuff that is commercially useless and includes other fish, coral, turtles, dolphins, porpoises and sea birds. Long-lining, a common way of catching that student staple, tuna, is thought to kill 300,000 sea birds a year. Beam-trawling, used for catching plaice and prawns, simply rips up the sea bed and catches it in a net. Bycatch is just thrown back overboard, dead or dying.

Unfortunately the story doesn't stop there. Due to chronic mismanagement and illegal fishing, many species are being so badly over-fished that they are nearing extinction. The list is endless - Cod, Plaice, Haddock, Hake, Prawns, Salmon, Soles, Skates, Rays, Sharks and Swordfish all feature, many of them classified as 'endangered' or 'vulnerable'. The worst case is Tuna. Bluefin Tuna is classed as 'critically endangered' while stocks of all other types are worryingly low. Recent restrictions on fishing in the Atlantic have led to new UN deals with Pacific governments, effectively shifting the problem elsewhere rather than tackling it. Experts have estimated the global fishing fleet to be 'two times greater than needed to catch what the ocean can sustainably produce'. Despite this bleak forecast, there may be some hope. After challenges from Greenpeace in 2005, many supermarkets (where 90% of fish is sold) have increased efforts to ensure their fish is sourced sustainably. In a report published last week, Marks and Spenser came top, followed by Waitrose. Co-op was classed as 'good', while Tesco passed the requirements set by Greenpeace. But with far from flying colours, Somerfield and Iceland failed. Considerable progress has been made, but there is still a long way to go. By now you are probably wondering what you can eat. Oily fish like Mackerel, Sardines and Herrings (all high in important Omega 3 oils) are all doing quite well. Hoki makes a good white fish alternative, Coley is also okay. Anything with the Organic or Freedom Foods logo will have been produced with minimal environmental impact. If you must eat tuna, choose Skipjack as this is the least threatened variety. Alternatively, you could go to Marks and Spencer in town to get your fish. Yes, it is more expensive, but nothing like the price we will pay if we don't change our habits, and the oceans are emptied completely.

80% of what is caught at sea is commercially useless

Brychan Govier Deputy Science Editor

elsh Liberal Democrat MPs and a look-a-like Queen met outside the Houses of Parliament as part of a growing campaign to bring about a reduction in CO2 emissions. Their aim is to highlight the need for changes in the law to be included in the Queen’s Speech at the opening of Parliament this November. They hope that the new legislation will aid businesses and the general public to cut their emissions by three percent each year, and they have a lot of support for the cause. 397 of the 646 MPs in the UK are already signed up to the ‘Big Ask.’ The Big Ask is a campaign being organised by Friends of the Earth, who believe that a law on climate change can ensure that the UK plays its role in ensuring global climate change is man-

ageable for both the environment and the economy. Using a range of measures - including the promotion of energy efficiency schemes and renewable energy supplies - the people involved in the Big Ask campaign believe it is achievable. The Queen’s speech that opens Parliament is traditionally the time of year that the government sets out its plans for that year, using the Queen as their spokeswoman. Should this bill pass though, what would it mean for us? Already, hardware stores like B&Q have begun to introduce a range of solar panel water heaters and wind turbines, brand new central heating systems, insulation and light bulbs. Fuel companies are introducing low CO2 emission ‘alternative’ fuels and car makers are beginning to design and build hybrid and alternative fuel systems. Public transport providers are start-

ing to utilise low emission vehicles in built-up and urban areas. The technology is being developed, and the equipment needed to implement is being made available; what is needed now is a reason for people to want to use them. Right now, it is convenient for people to use petrol and oil power, and until they have an incentive to switch, they won’t.

WWF claims rebuked Amy Bullen Environment Correspondent

his week leading toxicologists have denounced ‘Green’ groups such as WWF who have misled the public by using ‘scare’ tactics in chemical awareness campaigns. WWF's Chemicals and Health Campaign has been working since 2003 to raise awareness of man-made hazardous chemicals and to lobby for improved legislation. Recently however, the group claim that the levels of chemicals the public are exposed to daily are dangerously

high and may cause lasting damage. WWF estimated that at any one time we might have up to 300 foreign chemicals in our bodies due to ingestion, inhalation, or absorption through the skin. WWF go on to suggest that these chemicals may have either bioaccumulative or endocrine disrupting effects. Consequences of exposure include; increased allergies, asthma, behavioural problems, diabetes, obesity and increases in male reproductive problems, such as falling sperm count. The campaign also linked toxic levels of chemicals to harming babies in the womb, as ‘non-stick’ chemicals have been found in the blood of umbilical cords.

However toxicologists refute these claims, arguing that the circulating levels of these chemicals are by no means ‘toxic’. When located it is often in parts per billion or even per trillion. Toxicologists say the WWF studies are not large enough to substantiate their claims and the dose of the chemical is the essential factor, and there was no evidence that small doses of such substances posed any danger. It is essential that the public become aware of potential dangers, no matter how small, but a balance must be achieved between informative ‘facts’ and misleading information designed to scare and manipulate the public.

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gairrhydd

TELEVISION

OCT0BER.23.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

This Week’s TV Choice’s Amongst The Radio Times: October 23rd-29th

Amstell Standing A Fetal Attraction to Handsome Amstell is TV (Desk’s) Choice

HOT

C a m e r a Obscura - So, tonight me and some buddies are off to watch Camera Obscura on a boat. And Tracyanne Campbell is the most beautiful woman in the world, which is good enough reason for me to write about her here...that and I have to leave now.

Soaps Let’s celebrate getting TV Choice by disregarding the soaps that The Radio Times always talks about. So. Hollyoaks. This is pretty awesome at the moment. This week, Becca tries to get back with her little boy blue, Justin, in order to get him to drop the rape charges. Alas, he’s not as stupid as his grasp of social etiquette suggests, as he rebuffs her. How long until Becka gets with Foz? Neighbours. Confimration that Sky’s baby definitely belongs to a Timmins as this week it is announced to have birth defects. Sky’s also revealed to have more defects of her own as she goes to a psychic or something. Izzy pisses off out of Paul’s house this week, and Max and Katya start to confide in eachother. They’re gonna end up shagging I think. See, that’s so much better than Eastenders.

his week’s exciting news is that in an unprecedented move TV Desk has turned it’s back on The Radio Times. For as long as can be remembered, The Radio Times has been the resident fall guy for TV Desk’s incapability of writing and lack of imagination. The cry of “where’s the Radio Times?” can often be heard echoing through gr Towers as my comrades and I rifle through old copies of Hullfire and the NME so that we can lift stories from the publication’s pages and type them into here, with added delusions of self-importance and extra swear words. This week however, the TV mag was nowhere to be seen and so I ventured downstairs to the union shop to purchase a copy. On arriving I saw that the Radio Times is 98p, whereas TV Choice is a BARGAIN 33p. Not only that, but it is infi-

Fudge Tunnel 33.7

nitely better. It has four pages on soaps and doesn’t bother us with rubbish anecdotes from behind Robbie Coltrane’s fat arse at Cracker, but instead it informs us of Extraordinary People: The Twin Within The Twin (Monday, five, 9.00pm). Basically this proves my theory that the film Junior, with Arnold Schwarzeneger and Ronnie Corbett is based on fact. Basically Sanjay is 36 and has the remains of his half-formed twin in his stomach. We’re not talking some little froggy looking thing, but in fact this sack of flesh has toes, fingers, hair and nails. Brilliant. In even bet-

ter news maybe, this week sees Simon Amstell return to our TV screens with a new series of Never Mind The Buzzcocks on BBC2 at 10.00pm on Thursday. Amstell is officially the most attractive man on TV, and my declaration of this on these hallowed pages nigh on two years ago caused TV Grace to believe me to be homosexual for about 6 months. I was flattered. Amstell was awesome when he stood in for Mark Lamarr last year adopting a unique approach of being charming and hilarious, rather than using Lamarr’s usual “i'm going to insult my guests in a deadpan and usually very personal and cruel way, yet still manage to not be very funny”. Love x

NOT

Walking Slowly on Steps - I’m a man with a lot of important things to do, so nothing annoys me like an idiot, OR EVEN WORSE, a group of idiots, taking their time to walk up or down and blocking the whole width of the stairs, leaning on both hand rails at the same time. And KEEP TO THE LEFT!!

Film Film of the week, or rather the only film I can remember is Boiler Room. On at 12:00am on Sunday it offers a much shinier and succinct, or instead a dumbed-down version of other greats such as Wall Street and Glengarry Glen Ross. The idiot brother of Phoebe in Friends, Giovanni Riblisi stars here, making a name for himself.

Sport

DVDS TO RENT/BUY Derek Acorah’s Ghost Towns: Series 2 is out this week. Watch as camp Liverpudlian Derek along with spirit guide Sam have swapped the screeching Yvette Fielding (Most Haunted) for Daniella Westbrook, and have jumped aboard the ‘ghost truck’ and set out on an adventure, travelling from town to town searching for the paranormal. Ghost Towns is as realistic as Rent-a-ghost, and as scientific as Scooby-Doo, yet it is high in entertainment value, with Derek’s authentic possessions and the psychic energy that guides him to ‘random’ homes to solve any paranormal problems the inhabitant is having. Yeah, go Team Derek! What did we do without you? If that’s not your bag then the Director’s Cut of Blade Runner is finally out on Region 2. Until the

upcoming release of the special edition however, this release should be confined to the diehards or the uninitiated. The story of future-noir PI Deckard (Harrison Ford) and his hunt for the android ‘replicants’ is possibly the greatest sci-fi film of all time however. So yeah...

This week you can see Carling Cup action. Of course I use the word ‘action’ in its loosest sense. None of this is on terrestrial TV I’m afraid, so you’ve got another excuse to go to the pub. Chesterfield v West Ham United (Sky Sports 1, 7.30pm). I’d quite like to see West Ham get back to winning ways; but not as much as I’d like to fill this box. Done.

Radio Radio? pfffft. I’ll just talk some more about soaps instead. Coronation Street. Looks pretty good this week. Mostly because Rita and Norris are off on some filthy, dirty sex week to Hungary, and they have left KEN incharge of the The Kabin. What are they thinking? As far as I’m aware, Ken has zero retail experience, and all I can see happening as this sordid East-European affair goes on, is the former English teacher renaming the shop ‘The Cabin’. Let’s hope so hey? Other than that, TV Choice reckons Maria doesn’t realise that David has a crush on her. Of course he bloody does. And the next thing we know, he and Charlie Stubbs are LOVE RIVALS. Brilliant.

26 gairrhydd

MONDAY

Vincent

OCTOBER.23.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Blue Peter

The Gadget Show

The Dark Corner

The Perfect Village

C4 1:35pm

BBC4 8:30pm

ITV1 9:00pm

BBC1 5:00pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal Park 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Lazytown 3:50pm Maya and Miguel 4:15pm Crush 4:40pm The Batman 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2006 7:30pm X-Ray 8:00pm EastEnders That Aubrey guy makes a move on Yolande tonight and I think she gets drunk and wakes up next to him on the sofa with a hangover and she’s not sure what happened. Dirty mare. Although her husband did sleep with Pat Butcher, but then doesn’t everyone? 8:30pm Rogue Traders 9:00pm Spooks 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Through Children's Eyes 11:25pm Graham Norton's Bigger Picture 12:05am Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 12:35am The Sunshine Boys 2:30am Sign Zone:Home 3:30am Sign Zone:York Minster 4:00am Joins BBC News 24 Rubber Duck sucks ass. I was reminded of this last night when in the Taf before Duck. The chat up lines of the guys in there were foul.

7:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 7:10am Boogie Beebies 7:25am Tweenies 7:45am Something Special 8:00am CBBC:Roar 8:55am Arthur 9:20am Zombie Hotel 9:45am Only in America would someone attempt to jump about 20 cars on a Harley Davidson and fail. In England we just wouldn’t attempt it if we knew we’d fail. And only in America do they make TV shows out of these horrific incidents and then sell them to channels like Bravo so that we can watch them on British TV and laugh at them. Mwa ha ha ha. Good old Bravo, such a source of entertainment when you have nothing to do.10:20am The Fairly Odd Parents 10:30am Even Stevens 11:00am Thunderbirds 11:50am Coast: South Coast - Alderney 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Doctor Thompson's Casebook 7:30pm Snooker: Grand Prix 8:00pm Mastermind 8:30pm University Challenge 9:00pm Suez 10:00pm Have I Got News for You 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Snooker: Grand Prix 12:10am Snooker Extra: Grand Prix 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:Talk French 1-6 2:30am France Inside Out 5:00am Work Talk: France

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show Are you drinking yourself to death? After the way I felt today after a night out at the Welsh Club I think I probably am. I bet Jeremy Kyle is, I bet he loves a good stiff whisky after the show, I bet he’s a druggy too, that beats his wife and claims benefits illegally and disowned one of his children. Hypocrite.10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Curious George 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Vincent 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm The Guest List 11:30pm The Guest List 12:00am Tonight with Trevor McDonald: Midwife Crisis 12:30am ITV Play: The Mint 4:35am I Want That House I have a few houses that I want actually, I’m making a list. I’m unsure as to how I’m going to get them all though as it’s unlikely I will ever make any money. Perhaps I could just squat in them. 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV

6:05am Making It 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am King of the Hill 10:00am The Thief of Bagdad 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm Proud Parents 1:35pm The Dark Corner 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks Justin gets hit by a bus and dies. Not really, but wouldn’t it be great if he did? I would be a very happy bean. 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm The Political Slot 8:00pm Dispatches Debate 9:00pm Wife Swap 10:00pm Without a Trace 11:00pm The Real Amityville Horror 12:05am Party Poker.com Late Night Poker Ace 1:10am Trocabrahma 1:40am Trocabrahma 2:10am FIVB Beach Volleyball 3:05am Beyond the Valley of the Dolls 5:00am The Hole 5:05am Thunder Races there’s a big debate between the males in the office about football and shit teams. I think they’re all shit. I don’t get football unless England or other big country teams are playing and mainly I only get that because it means you can go to the pub and jump around and shout and get pissed. Although England are shit too, we’re absolute failures. It’s about time we all admitted it.

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas and Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am My First... 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm The Deliverance of Elaine 3:30pm five news update 3:35pm The Sign of Four 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm Fifth Gear 9:00pm Extraordinary People: The Twin Within the Twin this is one of those sordid series that we all love to watch. They call these weird stories extraordinary, but they’re just freaky. This one’s about a Bengali farmer who looked as though he was 9 months pregnant, but really he just had the remains of his twin inside him. I say ‘just’ but really that is fuckin scary. Apparently they find toes, fingers, hair and nails. That could make an amusing trashy horror, if they made out that the twin was still alive... 10:00pm Battered Men: Hidden Lives 11:05pm Trust Me I'm a Beauty Therapist 11:50pm The Joan Rivers Position 12:20am USPGA Golf 1:10am NFL Live 5:00am Race and Rally UK 5:25am French Football

7:00pm Robin Hood 7:45pm The Real Hustle 8:00pm What Not to Wear 9:00pm Dog Borstal 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Spooks 11:30pm The Real Hustle 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:00am Dog Borstal 1:55am The Ferocious Mr Fix It 2:55am Say No to the Knife Classic Ralph Wiggum quotes: ‘Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.’ ‘And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.’ ‘Lisa's dancing makes my feet sad.’ ‘Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky.’ ‘Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever.’ Ralph is the cutest Simpson’s character ever, I feel I understand him.

7:00pm The Way We Cooked 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Perfect Village 9:00pm Fear of Fanny could pose a lot of problems, probably most so for women, I guess we don’t really spend that much time looking at them, but still, it would always be there, and that could be quite troublesome if it scared you.10:20pm Storyville: Orthodykes 11:15pm Forty Minutes On 12:15am Fear of Fanny 1:35am George Michael Talks to Kirsty Wark how about we link the programmes here and have George Michael talking to Kirsty about his Fear of Fanny.2:05am The Perfect Village would have lots of free bistros, several pubs, a beach, a cinema that shows only good films, no souvenir shops or Tescos all at the same time as seeming very peaceful and countrysideish. 2:35am Forty Minutes On 3:35am George Michael Talks to Kirsty Wark

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Coronation Street 10:25am Emmerdale 10:55am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:45am Judge Judy 12:35pm Coronation Street 1:05pm Coronation Street 1:35pm Emmerdale 2:05pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:10pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:15pm The Ricki Lake Show 5:05pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:50pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Airline 8:30pm The Guardian Movie Special 9:00pm Hell's Kitchen USA 10:00pm Ladette to Lady 11:00pm Coronation Street 12:00am

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Badly Drawn Boy 8:00am Wake Up with... Badly Drawn Boy 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... McFly 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Hollyoaks: In the City 10:00pm Wife Swap: The Aftermath 10:30pm Ghostbusters II 12:35am Star Stories 1:10am Invasion 1:55am Hollyoaks: In the City 2:55am Star Stories 3:20am Queer as Folk 4:20am Switched 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched 5:25am Switched

7:00am Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 7:15am Planed Plant Bach:Ffi-Ffi A'i Ffrindiau 7:30am Planed Plant Bach:Bob the Builder 8:00am Planed Plant:Bywyd Cudd Sabrina 8:30am Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 8:50am Planed Plant:Bernard 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:25am Will and Grace 9:50am Frasier 10:25am Belle Starr 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Gel a Ffion 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Ffi-Ffi A'i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Bobinogi 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Raw Cuts Competition 1:20pm Wild Thing I Love You 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Medabots 4:25pm Stamina 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm The Simpsons 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Ffermio

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

five 7:15pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

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gairrhydd

TUESDAY

OCTOBER.23.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Dead Man’s Shoes

Only in America

Moonrise

Wife Swap

This Morning

Channel 4 11.05pm

BBC2 9.45am

Channel 4 1.50pm

S4C 1.25pm

ITV1 10.30am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal Park 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours Sky receives some shocking news from Karl apparently, according to tv Choice. Ooohh, that means there’s going to be a problem with the baby. Maybe it means there’s no baby at all. Nope, I’ve just read the soap section in TV Choice....I can’t believe........2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Lazytown 3:50pm Maya and Miguel 4:15pm Crush 4:40pm The Batman 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Watchdog 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Holby City 9:00pm The Amazing Mrs Pritchard 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Week In, Week Out 11:05pm Imagine... Velazquez, The Painter's Painter 11:55pm Ramadan: Boyz Allowed New Voices of Islam 12:25am Castaway 2:40am Sign Zone:Beyond Boundaries: The African Challenge 3:40am Sign Zone:A Week of Dressing Dangerously 4:10am Sign Zone:To Buy or Not to Buy 4:55am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 7:10am Boogie Beebies 7:25am Tweenies 7:45am Something Special 8:00am CBBC:Roar 8:55am Arthur 9:20am Zombie Hotel 9:45am Only in America 10:20am The Fairly Odd Parents 10:30am Even Stevens 11:00am Thunderbirds 11:50am Small Town Gardens 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 2:00pm am.pm 3:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 8:00pm Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife 8:30pm Digging Deep 9:00pm Under the Doctor: A Medical History of Wales 9:30pm Horizon 10:20pm The Flying Gardener 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This World: Iraq: A Doctor's Story 12:00am Snooker: Grand Prix 12:50am Joins BBC2 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Seven Journeys in the American West 4:00am Black Peoples of the Americas .....cont. from BBC1...Stingray is the father of Sky’s baby, the slut! He’s only 13 or something! Oohh, and it looks like the baby’s going to have some kind of defect or ‘abnormality’. Not a surprise really. Izzy moves out of Paul’s this week too. Oh the joy of Neighbours.

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women I noticed something today when I was subjected to this show, they’re all divorcees, except for Kaye Adams who is obviously a lesbian. So criteria for being a ‘loose’ woman: divorced, unfunny, have an irritating almost scary grin, hate and love men at the same time, own a dildo.1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Curious George 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Price Is Right generally only true if it’s free or less than a pound in my stingy case. 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 8:00pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 9:00pm Bon Voyage 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Glee Time my happy moment today has been reading the tv Choice articles about what happens in all the soaps this week, and now I don’t have to watch them. 11:30pm Michael Schumacher: Driven to Win 12:00am Motorsport UK 12:40am ITV Play: The Mint 3:45am Mum's On Strike 4:20am Date My Daughter 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:05am Making It 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am King of the Hill 9:55am Small Railway Journeys 10:15am Thunderbirds Are Go! 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm Seaside Secrets 1:50pm Moonrise 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks Becca’s getting done for kiddy-fiddling that stupid Justin gimp face but he gets bollocked by his headmistress and decides to leave school. Does that mean that he’s going to leave the programme? Please? I can’t stand the little shit. Has anyone else noticed how annoyingly feminine his lips are? They are so red they’re almost purple. Ugh he makes me shudder. Justin from Hollyoaks is my pet hate for the week. Does anyone actually fancy him? Apparently they do. If you do get in touch with us at tv at gair rhydd, you must be strange. 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm The Political Slot 8:00pm It's Me or the Dog 8:30pm Cooking It 9:00pm Supernanny 10:00pm Celebrity Sex Tapes Unwound Zeta-Jones and Douglas feature tonight. 11:05pm Dead Man's Shoes 12:45am The Eye 2:40am Breaking the Waves 5:20am Thunder Races

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy or else he’ll saw off your leg with a rusty garden saw and use it as his third leg. 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am My First... 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:30pm Eye on the Sparrow 3:35pm Lucy 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Tim Marlow On? Turbine Hall 8:00pm Make Me a Supermodel so that I can be super thin and always hungry and have to take drugs and smoke rather than eat. 9:00pm CSI: Miami 10:00pm CSI:NY 11:00pm Trust Me I'm a Beauty Therapist 11:50pm The FBI Files 12:50am Major League Baseball ? The World Series 4:30am Dutch Football in relation to ‘Dead Man’s Shoes’ on channel 4 tonight: Although I haven’t seen this film I think I would recommend this film as I have heard good things about it. It’s a revenge thriller and a British film directed by Shane Meadows and tv choice gives it four stars. I’m going to be watching it, if I remember.

7:00pm The Apprentice USA 8:00pm Grime Scene Investigation 8:30pm The Indestructibles 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm That Mitchell and Webb Look 10:00pm EastEnders Ooh it’s all going on this week in Eastenders! Could Ruby be any more unlucky? She is possibly one of the most stupid people in all of TV’s soaps, other than Justin from Hollyoaks. This week her dad dies and Sean plants a stolen engagement ring in a bag where she will find it and he states that he decided not to propose to her because he didn’t want to look like a ‘goldigga’. So blatantly she’s going to marry him but I think Johnny will have changed his will before he died and then it’ll all go tits-up and she’s going to be completely on her lonesome. Serves her right for being stupid. 10:30pm Torchwood 12:10am The Indestructibles 12:40am Grime Scene Investigation 1:10am Torchwood 2:55am The Ferocious Mr Fix It

7:00pm Journeys into the Ring of Fire 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Dinner with Portillo 9:00pm Hungary 1956: Our Revolution 10:00pm Mark Lawson Talks to Claudia Roden 11:00pm Adventurous Cooking: Fish Dishes I thought I was being mildly adventurous this week when I ordered a prawn curry from my favourite balti house (rather than the usual chicken) and whatever I received was not prawns. It looked like intestines but I ate some anyway and now I’m scared that the intestine might make friends with my own intestine and they might fuse together and make some weird freak intestine that doesn’t do its job properly. And that wouldn’t be nice. 11:30pm Journeys into the Ring of Fire 12:30am Hungary 1956: Our Revolution 1:30am Dinner with Portillo 2:00am Mark Lawson Talks to Claudia Roden 3:00am The Rebel Physician: Nicholas Culpeper's Fight

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Nanny 911 9:00pm Passenger 57 10:45pm Entourage 11:20pm The Office: An American Workplace 11:55pm Hulk 2:30am ITV Play: Playdate 4:00am ITV Play: Playalong

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Juliette Lewis 8:00am Wake Up with... Juliette Lewis 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but Girls Aloud 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer 10:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 11:00pm Bring Back... The One Hit Wonders 12:05am Shameless 1:05am One Tree Hill 2:00am Bring Back... The One Hit Wonders 3:00am The OC 3:40am Shameless 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched 5:20am Switched

7:00am Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 7:15am Planed Plant Bach:Ari Awyren 7:30am Planed Plant Bach:Rhacsyn a'r Goeden Hud 7:45am Planed Plant Bach:Bob the Builder 8:00am Planed Plant:Bywyd Cudd Sabrina 8:30am Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 8:50am Planed Plant:Bernard 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:25am Will and Grace 9:55am Frasier 10:25am Footsteps in the Fog 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Ari Awyren 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Rhacsyn a'r Goeden Hud 1:15pm Planed Plant Bach:3 Minute Wonder: Raw Cuts Competition 1:25pm Wife Swap 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Hanesion Hyll 4:25pm Planed Plant:Mona y Fampir 4:35pm Planed Plant:Nic a Peri 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

28 gairrhydd

WEDNESDAY

OCTOBER.23.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Me and My Health

Torchwood

BBC1 10.40pm

BBC2 9.00pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal Park 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Lazytown 3:50pm Maya and Miguel 4:15pm Crush 4:40pm The Batman 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Child of Our Time: the Children's Stories 7:30pm Real Story with Fiona Bruce 8:00pm ID Fraud: They Stole My Life Right, I got frauded in June. It wasn’t very funny. Somehow my card was scanned and I had £200 stolen from my account. The transactions were made in Bulgaria. Is it just me, or is this really annoying? It happened to quite a few people I know, but no one had as much stolen as I did. I win. 9:00pm Who Do You Think You Are? 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:40pm Me and My Health 11:30pm ONE Life 12:15am Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes 2:40am Sign Zone:Ancient Rome: The Rise and Fall of an Empire 3:40am Sign Zone:Fred Dibnah's World of Steam, Steel and

7:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 7:10am Boogie Beebies 7:25am Tweenies 7:45am Something Special 8:00am CBBC:Roar 8:55am Arthur 9:20am Zombie Hotel 9:45am Only in America 10:20am The Fairly Odd Parents 10:30am Even Stevens 11:00am The Munsters 11:25am North East Coast - Berwick 11:30am Am.Pm 1:00pm The Best 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two This is on every fecking day. Its shit. Sometimes I have to watch it, cos someone who I watch TV with likes it. Its a bit annoying. She made me watch Jane Eyre too. Every single episode. The funny thing is, she once made me watch a different version of it. It was a lower budget film, but I think it might have been better. I think Jane Eyre in the BBC version looked like a cross between Glyn (of BB fame, duh) and a duckbilled platypus. Yep, that’s exactly what I think too. 7:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 8:00pm Natural World 8:50pm Ravens Return 9:00pm Torchwood Yeah, burn the forests down. Who needs trees? Tree hugging hippies. 10:40pm Newsnight 11:25pm Snooker: Grand Prix 12:15am Snooker Extra: Grand Prix 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Britain 1906-1918 4:00am Britain 1750-1900

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Curious George 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm Jungle Run 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm Bon Voyage I’d like to go on a voyage of some sort. I’m not sure where though. 10:30pm ITV News Doing TV listings makes you realise how crap ITV actually is. There’s fuck all on. Carling Cup highlights is probably one of the only things worth watching. Apart from Coronation Street, but that’s just obvious. 11:00pm Carling Cup Highlights 12:00am ITV Play: The Mint 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News There’s more football on TV. This time it’s Tottenham vs. Besiktas. Tottenham are winning 2-0. Loads of my mates have gone to watch Camera Obscura in Brizzle tonight but I decided to stay here. I’m not sure why. This computer is really annoying. It keeps slowing down and doesn’t let me type.

6:20am Inuk 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am King of the Hill 9:55am King of the Hill 10:20am Thunderbird 6 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm Proud Parents 1:35pm The Return of the Native 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm The Political Slot 8:00pm How Clean Is Your House? 8:30pm Your Money or Your Wife If I was married I know which one I’d choose. My wife. It’s obvious. If I chose money I’d be rich, but I wouldn’t have anyone to cook or clean or anything. Although, if i chose money I could get a cleaner and a cook. It wouldn’t be as satisfying though. 9:00pm Family Brat Camp Yeah, middle aged parents can be such bastards. They always have to get their own way. 10:00pm Goldplated 11:05pm Faithless: Video Exclusive 11:10pm Misery This is actually a good film. The bit where she breaks his ankles with a sledgehammer is pretty nasty. That’s gotta hurt. Ouch!1:10am The Fog 2:50am Goalissimo! 3:50am Adrenalin Rush 4:20am Trans World Sport 5:10am Grudge Match 5:25am Countdown

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am My First... 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm My Son Is Innocent 3:35pm Columbo: A Friend in Deed 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Game Ranger Diaries Today I stopped some hunters shooting a deer. Later in the day, I found bambi stuck in a barbed wire fence. Luckily I found her before she died. This gives you a good idea of how shit this programme probably is. 8:00pm Paranormal Pigeons: Stranger than Fiction Paranormal pigeons? Fuck me. Be afraid, be very afraid. I’ve seen quite a few pigeons with one leg. I might have seen or two with no legs. Can they fly without legs? I once saw a seagull eating a shitty nappy. That was pretty funny. Shitehawks. 9:00pm Perfect Day? The Millennium 11:05pm Trust Me I'm a Beauty Therapist 11:50pm PartyPoker.com World Open II 1:00am Major League Baseball ? The World Series 4:30am NASCAR 5:20am Major League Soccer

7:00pm The African Rock 'n' Roll Years 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Nation on Film 9:00pm The League of Gentlemen 9:30pm Broken News 10:00pm More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 10:30pm Lead Balloon 11:00pm Never Mind the Full Stops Don’t say that round these parts or you’ll probably get castrated. Same goes for writing essays. Talking of essays, I have to do work for tomorrow. What’s all that about? I do English and only have 5 hours of lectures a week and now they expect me to do work during the week. I don’t have time to do work... 11:30pm Mark Lawson Talks to Claudia Roden 12:30am More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 1:00am Kelvin McKenzie Talks to Kirsty Wark 1:30am The African Rock 'n' Roll Years 2:30am Lead Balloon 3:00am More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 3:30am Nation on Film

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Hell's Kitchen USA 9:00pm Hulk 11:30pm Coronation Street 12:00am Test Drive My Girlfriend 12:30am ITV Play: Playdate 4:00am ITV Play: Playalong... I don’t even have time to go out drinking anymore. I actually sit at home and read.

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Razorlight 8:00am Wake Up with... Razorlight 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but Beyonce 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Desperate Housewives 10:00pm Family Brat Camp Unseen 10:30pm Star Stories 11:00pm Goldplated 12:05am Sex and the City 12:50am No Angels 1:50am Family Brat Camp Unseen 2:15am Star Stories 2:35am Goldplated 3:35am One Tree Hill 4:15am No Angels 5:15am Switched

7:00am Darllen 'Da Fi 7:10am Peppa Pinc 7:15am Binca 7:20am Ding Dong 7:30am Falmai y Fuwch 7:45am Bob the Builder 8:00am Bywyd Cudd Sabrina 8:30am Dennis a Dannedd 8:50am Bernard 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:25am Will and Grace 9:55am Frasier 10:25am The Enforcer 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Darllen 'Da Fi 12:40pm Peppa Pinc 12:45pm Binca 12:50pm Ding Dong 1:00pm Falmai y Fuwch 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Raw Cuts Competition 1:20pm You Are What You Eat 1:55pm How Clean Is Your House? 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Clwb Winx 4:25pm Cer I Greu 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm The Simpsons 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Ar Y Lein 9:00pm Y Ty Cymreig 9:30pm Sioe Gelf 10:00pm Goldplated

7:00pm The Apprentice USA 8:00pm Deep Impact When I was younger, I had a dream that was pretty much Deep Impact. It was really scary. I think I managed to run for my life cos I didn’t die. I wonder if it’s true that if you die in your dream you die in real life? If anyone has experienced this please let me know. I’m too scared to go to sleep. 9:50pm The Real Hustle 10:20pm Little Britain 10:50pm Live! Girls! Present Dogtown 11:20pm Family Guy 11:40pm Family Guy 12:05am Ideal 12:35am Nighty Night 1:05am The Indestructibles 1:35am The Real Hustle 2:05am Grime Scene Investigation 2:35am Live! Girls! Present Dogtown 3:00am Dog Borstal...continued from Thursday. Other bands confirmed to play so far include, Papa M, Low, The Drones and Magnolia Electric Co. This is pretty sweet. I think I’ll definately be going. There’s even more football on TV now. Newcastle vs. Fenerbahce. Still 0-0.

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Bon Voyage

The Political Slot

Game Ranger Diaries

ITV 9.00pm

Channel 4 7.55pm

five 7.15pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

THURSDAY

OCTOBER.23.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Car Booty

Coast

The Big Clean Up

Longford

New Life in the Country

BBC1 11.30am

BBC2 8.00pm

ITV 7.30pm

Channel 4 9.00pm

five 9.00pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal Park 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote Bah! Where has Diagnosis Murder gone? 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Lazytown 3:50pm Watch My Chops 4:05pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 4:40pm The Batman 5:00pm Young Dracula 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Super Vets 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm What Not to Wear 9:00pm Ancient Rome: The Rise and Fall of an Empire 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather News: We’ve got football on TV in the office and it’s distracting me. TV Ryan is, for some reason, a Blackburn fan so he’s probably not very happy that they’re drawing 1-1 with Wisla. Although, he’s probably just happy that they’re playing European football. There’s loads of football on tonight. I know this cos I had to write about it last week. 10:35pm Dragon's Eye 11:05pm Question Time 12:05am This Week 12:55am Sign Zone:To Buy or Not to Buy 1:40am Sign Zone:Simon Schama's Power of Art 2:40am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 7:10am Boogie Beebies 7:25am Tweenies 7:45am Something Special 8:00am CBBC:Roar 8:55am Arthur 9:20am Zombie Hotel 9:45am Only in America 10:20am The Fairly Odd Parents 10:30am Even Stevens 11:00am Thunderbirds I never liked Thunderbirds. I think it was because I could always see the strings. And they had stupid plastic faces and stupid arms. Rubbish. 11:50am Small Town Gardens 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 8:00pm Coast I’ve not been to a coast in ages. The last coast I went to was Barry Island in June with Peter and Gary. We went on the Dodgems, had an ice cream and some chips and then walked along the beach. It was a really hot Sunday and I had a good time. I’d like to go to a coast again soon. 9:00pm The Catherine Tate Show 9:30pm Lead Balloon 10:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Snooker: Grand Prix I’ve not watched, or played snooker for a few years. I don’t even feel like I’m missing anything. 12:10am Snooker Extra: Grand Prix 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Interpretations 4:00am The Fall of the USSR

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Curious George 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm Jungle Run 5:00pm The Price Is Right Again, just 3 hours later? We are a lucky audience. 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Big Clean Up Every few weeks we have a “big clean” in our house. Its not much fun and someone always gets away with an easy job like cleaning the living room. 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm Ladette To Lady 10:00pm Tarrant on TV 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm The Aberfan Disaster 11:30pm Waterfront 12:00am Free Ride 12:25am ITV Play: The Mint 3:45am Britain's Best Back Gardens Our garden could probably be a contender. We have some nice smooth concrete and a raised lawn. It’s not really a lawn, more a patch of straggly grass. The clincher could be our bike shed. 4:10am Driving Mum And Dad Mad 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News The Blackburn game finished 2-1 so Ryan’s pretty happy. He doesn’t even like football.

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond TV Gareth wakes up every morning to watch this. I can’t even wake up in time for my lectures, and most of them are in the afternoon. I have a 9 o’clock on Tuesday morning which means I can no longer go to Fun Factory. I am truly gutted by this. 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am King of the Hill 9:55am Small Railway Journeys 10:15am Anastasia 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm Supporting Acts 1:35pm The Love Letter 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm The Political Slot 8:00pm Best and Worst Places to Live in the UK: 2006 I can think of some pretty shit places to live. Actually I can’t. Some good places to live would be, London for a while, Manchester, Scotland in general, somewhere by the sea, somewhere pretty hot, somewhere not too hot, by a lake, on a mountain. Not Blackburn, underground, or in a desert. 9:00pm Longford Is Longford a place? I wonder if it’s a nice place to live. 10:50pm Vampires 12:50am Hum Tum 3:30am The Cicerones 3:45am Dispatches 4:40am Unreported World 5:10am Countdown

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am My First... 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm To Die in Paris Would suck, dude. Actually it might not. There’s much worse places to die, and if you were in Paris you might have been doing something cool before you died. Also I think it depends how you die. This programme seems very vague. 3:35pm Plague City: SARS in Toronto The question on everyone’s lips is whether SARS is worse that Bird-flu. I’m in no position to comment, but I’m going to hazard a guess and say yes. 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:15pm House Doctor: Inside and Out 8:00pm Make Me a Supermodel 9:00pm Build a New Life in the Country Don’t bother. Its boring. And you might get shot by a farmer. 10:00pm Criminal Minds 11:00pm Trust Me I'm a Beauty Therapist 11:50pm John Barnes' Football Night 12:40am Major League Baseball ? The World Series 4:30am Football Argentina 5:10am USPGA Golf

7:00pm The Indestructibles 7:30pm Runaways 8:00pm Dog Borstal 9:00pm Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 10:00pm EastEnders 10:25pm The Real Hustle 10:55pm The Indestructibles 11:25pm Grime Scene Investigation 11:55pm Dog Borstal 12:55am Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 1:50am The Real Hustle 2:20am The Indestructibles 2:50am Grime Scene Investigation 3:20am Runaways Well travelling to the point that I can't stop it, get so familiar never get enough. Talk about it all the time, just drop it. Damage on your pretty little eyes says it all. I can't stand to be under your wing, I can't fly or sink or swim. It's a lot like falling down standing up, and I'm falling down. Fill my cup tilI I understand. Wait a minute, see the pieces don't fit this time. Well, yesterday's news is what I have been reading, see you at the comet and I end up needing, know if you were thinking it could...

7:00pm Sounds of the Sixties 7:10pm The Avengers 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Up Pompeii 9:00pm Forty Minutes On 10:00pm Lead Balloon 10:30pm The Late Edition 11:00pm I, Claudius 11:55pm Hungary 1956: Our Revolution 12:55am The Late Edition 1:25am The Perfect Village 1:55am Forty Minutes On 2:55am Mark Lawson Talks to Claudia Roden ...have been, it was nothing. It's cause nothing's what you did. I can't stand to be under your wing, I can't fly or sink or swim. It's a lot like falling down standing up, and i'm falling down. Fill my cup til i understand. Wait a minute, see the pieces don't fit this time. These are the lyrics to ‘Yesterdays News’ by Whiskeytwon. TV John recommended an album and it’s fucking awesome. ATP 2007 line-up is slowly being announced. So far we know that The Dirty Three are headlining weekend one.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 9:00pm Best Man's Speech 10:00pm Entourage 10:35pm The Office: An American Workplace 11:05pm 48 HRS 1:00am ITV Play: Playdate 4:00am ITV Play: Playalong

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with Coolio 8:00am Wake Up with Coolio 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Scrubs 9:30pm The War at Home 10:00pm The Sopranos 11:10pm Bo in the USA 11:45pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 12:15am Smack the Pony 12:50am Scrubs 1:20am The War at Home 1:45am The Sopranos 2:40am Bo in the USA 3:05am 8 Out of 10 Cats 3:35am Smack the Pony 4:00am One Tree Hill 4:40am Switched

7:00am Darllen 'Da Fi 7:10am Pingu 7:15am Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 7:20am Anturiaethau Smot y Ci 7:30am Meees! 7:45am Bob the Builder 8:00am Bywyd Cudd Sabrina 8:30am Dennis a Dannedd 8:50am Bernard 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:25am Will and Grace 9:50am Frasier 10:20am Never Love a Stranger 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Darllen 'Da Fi 12:40pm Pingu 12:50pm Anturiaethau Smot y Ci 1:00pm Meees! 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Raw Cuts Competition 1:20pm No Going Back: More Chaos at the Castle 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:20pm Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:30pm Nic a Peri 4:40pm Crafwr 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:25pm Tipit 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Chez Dudley 9:30pm Bandit 10:00pm Longford

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

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30 gairrhydd

FRIDAY

OCTOBER.23.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Breakfast

Only in America

BBC1 6am

BBC2 9.45am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal Park 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours Here are some Neighbours predictions for you. Sky will tell Stingray and Dylan about the baby, Dylan will vow never to talk to her again, but she will loose the baby anyway and he will realise that he loves her, and Elle will explode. Due to the stupid grimacing faces she makes. 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Lazytown 3:50pm Watch My Chops 4:05pm Pinky and the Brain This Cartoon was good but repetitive, you know, they tried to take over the world, they failed. If you want cartoon genius then check out the wonderful clone high on YouTube. 4:30pm The Basil Brush Show 4:55pm The Slammer 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm A Question of Sport 7:30pm Open All Hours 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm The Green Green Grass 9:00pm Have I Got News for You 9:30pm Not Going Out But it’s not a Monday? Surely the day to stand on the steps and queue for an hour for fun factory get in then wonder what you are doing there. 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross

7:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 7:10am Boogie Beebies 7:25am Tweenies 7:45am Something Special Herpes 8:00am CBBC:Roar 8:55am Arthur 9:20am Zombie Hotel 9:45am Only in America a show exploring the amazing things you can get in America that us Brits miss out on. This week: Inbreds! 10:20am The Fairly Odd Parents 10:30am Even Stevens 11:00am The Munsters 11:25am The Munsters 11:50am Small Town Gardens 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:30pm Snooker: Grand Prix 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm The Real Cost of Divorce You have to make an effort again 7:30pm Snooker: Grand Prix 8:00pm Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 8:30pm Gardeners' World 9:00pm Simon Schama's Power of Art This Week: The power to maim! Simon throws canvas at children, and the sharp corners go in there eyes 10:00pm QI 10:30pm Newsnight 11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm Snooker: Grand Prix 12:25am Snooker Extra: Grand Prix 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest: Ever Wondered about Food? 2:30am The Train to Cluj-Napoca 3:00am Music and Place: Long Remembered Hills This week people look at hills they long to remember? Alright I’m not even trying but I ate my dinner really quickly and now I have indigestion 3:30am The Celebrated Cyfarthfa Band COCKS

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Curious George 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm The New Worst Witch 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Tonight with Trevor McDonald 8:30pm Airline 9:00pm Blue Murder 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Hell's Kitchen 12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:25am Too Many Cooks 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News Did everyone have a nice weekend? I assume most of you went to that party on Llandugh street on sat night. I think the world may have been there. I saw Peaches, The Cooper Temple Clause and The Bronx this weekend, and most of the people at The Bronx gig were wankers, specifically the glasses wearing checked shirt guy who thought it was cool to sit on the barrier so I couldn’t see the stage then lean back on it, onto my 15 year old sister. It’s fine though, the bouncer said he would chuck him out if he didn’t stop. In. Your. Face. Isn’t it annoying when you have to fill in blank bits on a page at 12.45 am? The answer is: very. I hate Kate Thornton. I love apple juice.

7:00pm Dog Borstal 8:00pm Robin Hood I really hope this improves as now Jane Eyre is finished I need to find me a new fictional figure of lust. Robin is hot but at the same time a pretty one dimensional character. Yer that’s right I’m a media student, I know what I’m talking about 8:45pm The Real Hustle 9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm Torchwood De-Classified I stole a banana off the Doctor Who set the other day, it was for the extras, and me and my friends signed it David Tennant and tried to flog it off to some silly girls outside of Fun Factory. Yep it worked. 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Torchwood 11:20pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:20am Live! Girls! 12:50am Torchwood 2:30am Torchwood De-classified 2:45am Two Pints of Lager 3:15am Honey We're Killing the Kids do you think we should have given them coke instead of rat poison? Or Coca Cola instead of coke?

7:00pm Time Just a clock ticking down for an hour. 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Family Ties this show documents the irony of Rob “the lion tamer” smiths tragic death by rabid chickens 9:00pm Originals: George Clinton - Tales of Dr Funkenstein apparently he was some kind of seminal funkster guy, and he made songs that went “du du u du du du du du du du du du du du du. Bam.”. 10:00pm Sight and Sound in Concert 10:30pm QI 11:00pm Lead Balloon This has Jack Dee in, and the cool one from teachers, so it should be good. I have not got around to seeing it due to the fact I keep getting distracted by shiny things 11:30pm The Avengers 12:20am Originals 1:20am Lead Balloon 1:50am Hungary 1956 2:50am Originals This is why another BBC channel is completely useless. Why have the same program repeated three times, which ten people will watch anyway.

6:00am Rubbish 7:25am Sabrina's 6:00am You’ll be in bed 9:00am Secret Life Spin off from Sabrina the Whatever... You Want at this moment I teenage witch, where Sabrina infiltrates want a milkshake from McDonalds the irish mafia, run by Jack Nicholson. made with pigs fat. So wrong but so 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am right. Or some bacon made with ice Transformers Cybertron 8:55am Sonic cream fat, even better 10:00am Underground 9:25am Coronation Street Whatever... You Want 11:00am 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Nothing but Ordinary Boys 12:00pm Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle OC 3:00pm One Tree Hill 4:00pm Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm ITV Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The at the Movies 5:45pm Celebrity OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Daredevils 6:00pm The New Adventures Headland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm of Superman 7:00pm Xtra Factor So the Friends 9:00pm Wife Swap 10:00pm unconventionals went last week due to the Unanimous: The Fallout 10:30pm fact that each of them in there own invid- Carrie 12:25am Porn: A Family ual way is hideously unattractive 9:00pm Business 1:00am Porn: A Family 48 HRS 11:00pm Coronation Street Business 1:40am One Tree Hill 11:30pm Best Man's Speech 2:25am The OC 3:05am Porn: A Family Business 3:30am Wife Swap 4:30am Switched 4:45am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:35am Switched

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Loose Women

Friends

Bird bath

itv1 3.50pm

C4 7.25am

five 8.40am

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed babies 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond and thinks you’re a cunt 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am King of the Hill 9:55am Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger tiger. 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm Proud Parents: Paul Rankin is that Ian “the worst writer in the world” Rankin’s dad? Because he has nothing to be proud of, he brought this abomination of nature into the world. His detective novels make Dan Brown look like some kind of genius. 1:40pm The Lady Vanishes 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:30pm Unreported World This week, Bognor Regis! 8:00pm Beyonce: T4 Special 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm Unanimous 10:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:35pm Bo in the USA 11:10pm Man to Man with Dean Learner This will of course be the most amazing tv show in the world, without a doubt 11:40pm My Name Is Earl and my name is Ellen, yer I’m not even trying. 12:10am The Album Chart Show 12:45am 4Play 1:00am Party Poker.com Late Night Poker Ace 2:00am Get Carter 3:45am Six Shooter 4:15am Dispatches Debate 5:05am 3 Minute Wonder 5:10am Countdown 5:55am Inuk Fuck dee doodle doo, another appearance from TV Grace, filling in GAPS left by others!

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am My First...experience with a peanut butter sandwich made me feel sick. I didn’t do anything dodgy with it, I ate it and immediately threw up therefore I now avoid anything nut related. Apart from willies. 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:30pm Uncle Tom's Cabin 3:40pm Mother Knows Best 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Two and a Half Men 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Pimp My Ride UK My ride definitely needs pimping out, it’s a little KA and it really needs some useless accessories. I saw it once were they put a cappuccino maker in the car. And a chandelier. So I would demand that the two back seats were converted into a cinema and that there was a muffin maker/ spiritualist church in the glove box. 8:00pm Pimp My Ride 8:30pm Make Me a Supermodel 10:00pm Footballers' Desperate WAGS 11:05pm Trust Me I'm a Beauty Therapist 11:50pm Cosmetic Surgery: Going to Extremes 12:45am Quiz Call 5:35am Wildlife SOS TV pages are better off without my inane drudgery but I have no choice but to spew out this claptrap... Sorry! G xx

7:00am You’ll be in bed 9:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:25am Will and Grace 9:50am Frasier 10:20am Blood on the Sun 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Penblwydd Pwy 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Tecwyn y Tractor 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm It's Me or the Dog 1:55pm Cooking It 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.005.00):Beyblade 4:25pm Paparazzi 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Uned 5 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Hwyl y Noson Lawen 9:00pm Tipit 9:35pm Naw tan Naw 10:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:30pm Unanimous 11:35pm Bo in the USA 12:10am Man to Man with Dean Learner 12:40am 100 Greatest Funny Moments

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

SATURDAY

OCTOBER.23.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Breakfast

Hitler’s Holocaust

BBC1 6am

C4 7.00pm

6:00am Breakfast 10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am To Be Announced 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:10pm Football Focus 1:00pm Grandstand 4:30pm Wales on Saturday 5:05pm Final Score 5:30pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5:45pm Strictly Come Dancing 7:00pm Robin Hood If you’re 11 you will like this. If you’re not, it is shite. 7:45pm The National Lottery 8:30pm Casualty 9:30pm Strictly Come Dancing 9:55pm BBC News; Weather 10:30pm Match of the Day Gary Lineker presents highlights of the match between Arsenal and Everton; Manchester United and Bolton; Chelsea and Sheffield United and Liverpool and Aston Villa. But where are my mighty Blackburn who are currently dominating this UEFA cup match. 11:35pm Film: Halloween Resurrection This is an absolute shite sequel from the Halloween series. The original was directed by John Carpenter and was a landmark slasher film along with the likes of Pyscho and Peeping Tom. The latter is in fact ripped off in this dire sequel. Seek out the original to see what the postmodern Scream was inspired by. 1:00am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2:20am Joins BBC News 24 Goal! Wisla Krakow 1 -1 Blackburn. Savage scores from inside the area with a header in the bottom right of the goal assisted by Bentley (56’). As Partridge would: Back of the net!

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am Bobinogs 6:30am Charlie and Lola 6:45am The Story Makers 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Astro Boy 7:30am Dennis the Menace 7:50am Watch My Chops 8:15am Legend of the Dragon 8:40am What's New Scooby-Doo? 9:00am TMi 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm See Hear 12:45pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross Watch JR interview Russell Crowe as he tries to persuade us A Good Year will be a good film. I think not. There will also be a review of Oscar-contender political drama All the King's Men, starring Sean Penn and Jude Law, and an interview with the Oscar-winning British director Andrea Arnold. She is promoting her debut film Red Road chaperoned if you will by Lars Von Trier. 1:15pm Star Trek 2:05pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 2:55pm Film To Be Announced 4:30pm Snooker 5:30pm To Be Announced 6:00pm What the Papers Say 6:10pm Snooker 7:10pm The Culture Show 8:00pm QI 8:30pm TOTP 2 9:00pm Snooker 10:30pm Film To Be Announced 12:30am To Be Announced 1:10am The Culture Show 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:The Challenge 2:30am The Art of Breathing 3:00am Hitting Targets 3:30am Rough Science 4:00am Rough Science 4:30am Bloodlines: A Family Legacy

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:20am Pocoyo 6:35am Little Einsteins 7:00am Dora the Explorer 7:25am House of Mouse 7:55am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:15am Biker Mice from Mars 8:50am Avatar 9:25am CITV:Spongebob Squarepants 9:55am CITV:The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 10:00am CITV:Shuriken School 10:30am CITV:Skyland 11:00am CITV:Drake and Josh 11:30am CITV:The New Adventures of Superman 12:30pm ITV News; Weather 12:35pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:40pm To Be Announced 2:10pm The Cosby Mysteries 3:10pm Agatha Christie's Dead Man's Folly 4:50pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:05pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:20pm TBA 6:05pm The X Factor 7:50pm Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 8:50pm The X Factor 9:25pm Afterlife 10:25pm Parkinson 11:25pm ITV News 11:40pm All New TV's Naughtiest Blunders 12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:35am Trading Treasures 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News Goal! Wisla Krakow 1 - 2 Blackburn. Bentley scores from close range, right footed in the bottom left of the goal (89’). Back of the net...again. Full Time. Blackburn Rovers top of UEFA Cup Group E. And they’re only a town.

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Honda Formula 4 Powerboating 7:30am Lloyds TSB Insurance British F3 International Series 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:Futurama 9:20am T4:Friends 9:50am Christina Aguilera: T4 Special 10:30am T4:Popworld 11:20am T4:Friends 11:55am T4:Totally Boyband 12:25pm T4:Freaky 1:00pm T4:Charmed 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing 4:00pm A Place in the Sun 4:30pm Baby Boom Diane Keaton stars here as a ruthless New York executive whose ambitions falter when she inherits a dead relative's baby girl. S’allright but it’s not particularly great either. 6:30pm Channel 4 News 7:00pm Hitler's Holocaust 8:00pm Bremner, Bird and Fortune 9:00pm 50 Greatest Comedy Films Stephen Fry presents the said which includes Blazing Saddles, Dr Strangelove, Shaun of the Dead, The Pink Panther, Clerks and Withnail and I. Among those contributing their comments and opinions are Gene Wilder, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam and all the members of Spinal Tap. 12:05am 4 Music:4Music Presents...My Chemical Romance. 12:35am 4 Music:BT Digital Music Awards 2006 1:25am Film: Unconditional Love Comedy drama with Rupert Everett and Kathy Bates. 3:40am The Private Life of Henry VIII

6:00am Sunrise 7:00am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:30am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:05am Jane and the Dragon 9:35am Blue Water High 10:05am Hercules: Legendary Journeys 11:55am Film: Dennis This adaptation of Hank Ketcham's comic strip is painfully poor, directed by Nick Castle - who played the murderous Shape in Halloween. 1:45pm Film: Walkabout Nic Roeg's second film is an atmospheric masterpiece of sexual tension that spans a chasm of misunderstandings caused by cultural differences and the innocence of childhood. 3:35pm Jack London’s Call Of The Wild 5:25pm Steel 7:00pm five news and sport 7:20pm NCIS 8:15pm NCIS 9:10pm CSI 10:10pm Law and Order 11:30pm Film: Death Warrant Even for a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, this is an excessively violent, if clinically efficient, exercise in body pulverising. Van Damme stars as a maverick Royal Canadian Mountie, sent to a prison where there's been a series of grisly unsolved murders. There he comes face to face with an old foe: the psychopathic "Sandman". Fans of the "Muscles from Brussels" won't be disappointed. 1:00am Major League Baseball 3:30am Ironman 4:20am Football Argentina

7:00pm Mind, Body and Kick Ass Moves 7:30pm The Real Hustle 8:00pm Walking with Dinosaurs 9:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 9:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:00pm Electric Proms 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:00am To Be Announced 2:00am Film To Be Announced TV Ryan’s Top Five Sergio Leone films, in no particular order: 1 The Good, The Bad & the Ugly 2 For A Few Dollars More 3 A Fistful Of Dollars 4 A Fistful Of Dynamite 5 Once Upon A Time In The West. TV Ryans’ Top Five Bob Dylan albums, in no particular order: 1 The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan 2 Highway 61 Revisited 3 Bringing It All Back Home 4 Another Side Of Bob Dylan 5 Blonde On Blonde

7:00pm Mozart 250: Rattle in Berlin 8:00pm To Be Announced 10:00pm The Miracle of Bern 11:50pm The Mark Steel Lecture 12:50am Pete Doherty Talks to Kirsty Wark 1:20am The Secret Life of Mrs Beeton 2:45am Forbidden Shostakovich: Symphonies 1 and 14 Five Moldy Peaches tracks TV Ryan is listening to, in no particular order: 1 Lucky Number Nine 2 Jorge Regula 3 Nothing Came Out 4 Downloading Porn With Dave 5 Who’s Got The Crack TV Ryans’ Top Five Blackburn things, in no particular order: 1 The racists (who apparently aren’t) 2 The hotpots 3 The potholes 4 The lack of social graces and frequency of tracksuits 5 The mighty BRFC

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald's Farm 8:25am Mags and Mo 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:50am The Wheels on the Bus 9:00am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 11:50am Coronation Street Omnibus 2:35pm Holiday Showdown 3:40pm Planet's Funniest Animals 4:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 5:00pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 6:00pm Nanny 911 6:50pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:50pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:50pm Entourage Uncovered 9:25pm Xtra Factor: Results 10:10pm To Be Announced 12:15am The X Factor 1:00am The X Factor - The Result 1:45am ITV Play: Playdate 3:30am Emmerdale Omnibus It’s nearly half time and it’s 1-0 to the Polish side against Blackburn Rovers.

6:00am E4 Music Zone 2:00pm The Album Chart Show 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Wife Swap 7:00pm Invasion 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm The 100 Greatest Scary Moments 1:00am Porn: A Family Business 1:30am Bo in the USA 2:00am Invasion 3:00am The Album Chart Show 4:00am Switched 4:30am Switched 5:00am Switched 5:30am Isle of Wight Festival 2006 Five British TV shows that TV Ryan obsesses over in no particular order: 1 Spaced 2 Black Books 3 Green Wing 4 Garth Marenghis’ Darkplace 5 Peep Show... There’s a hell of a lot of space to fill here. I’m mostly going to fill it up by talking about the horrible pictures on this page. I felt the need to put them up there because I wanted to share with everyone the dog/pig/person statue.

6:10am The Hoobs 7:00am Honda Formula 4 Powerboating 7:30am British F3 International Series 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Futurama 9:20am Friends 9:50am Freaky 10:20am Friends 10:45am Charmed 11:35am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 12:30pm Slave to Fashion 1:30pm Totally Boyband 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing 4:00pm To Be Announced 4:30pm The Guns of Navarone 7:55pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 8:00pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 8:10pm Noson Lawen 9:10pm Tipit 9:45pm Cwpan Heineken 10:45pm Heist 12:50am Bremner, Bird and Fortune 1:50am To Be Announced 3:15am KOTV Five American TV shows that TV Ryan obsesses over, in no particular order: 1 My Name Is Earl 2 Arrested Development 3 Seinfeld 4 Due South 5 Curb Your Enthusiasm

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5:00am Breakfast 6:55am Match of the Day 8:00am Sunday AM 9:00am Heaven and Earth with Gloria Hunniford 10:00am Countryfile 11:00am The Politics Show 12:00pm EastEnders Yolande finds herself in a difficult position after a drunken evening with Aubrey. Ruby makes some big decisions about her future after Johnny's funeral. Martin and Sonia grow closer. Billy and Honey try to cope with parenthood. Max tries to save Tanya's business. 1:55pm To Be Announced 3:00pm To Be Announced 3:45pm Points of View 4:00pm Songs of Praise 4:45pm To Be Announced 5:45pm Antiques Roadshow 6:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 7:00pm Incredible Animal Journeys: Osprey Odyssey 8:00pm To Be Announced 9:00pm BBC News; Weather 9:15pm Panorama 9:55pm Match of the Day 2 Watch West Ham get destroyed by the mighty Blackburn Rovers. 10:45pm Film To Be Announced 11:15pm Match Of The Day 2 12:00am Film: Boiler Room A young chancer (Giovanni Ribisi) joins an "offBroadway" brokerage firm that offers sky-high pay cheques to successful agents in this amorality tale of financial swizz-kids. A more shiny and mainstream Wall Street or Glengarry Glen Ross without the subtext; however, it is well worth seeing.

5:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 5:20am Bobinogs 5:30am Charlie and Lola 5:45am The Story Makers 6:00am CBBC:Batfink 6:10am Legend of the Dragon 6:30am Smile 9:00am Something for the Weekend 10:30am Planet Food 11:00am To Be Announced 11:30am Sunday Grandstand 12:35pm Valencia Moto Grand Prix World champion Valentino Rossi will be looking to round off yet another season in style by winning his sixth consecutive world title. He leads Nicky Hayden by just eight points, so the American has to win and hope that Rossi finishes third or worse. 4:30pm Wild 5:10pm Natural World 6:00pm Strictly Come Dancing 7:00pm Snooker 9:30pm To Be Announced 10:15pm Film To Be Announced 12:30am To Be Announced 1:10am The Culture Show 1:00am BBC Learning Zone 1:30am The Art of Breathing 2:00am Hitting Targets 2:30am Rough Science 3:00am Rough Science 3:30am Bloodlines 4:00am Snapshots 4:15am Snapshots 4:30am Ever Wondered? This office is depressing me no end. All people do is talk and ramble on about trivialities, and it makes me want to jump off the balcony. However convention states that I have to write a suicide note first, which I would inevitably write here, in the office. Knowing my luck I’d jump past the point of no return, and realise I’d written it in the wrong font.

5:00am The Sunday Programme 6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 6:25am Spider-Man 6:55am Totally Spies! 7:30am SpongeBob SquarePants 7:55am Robotboy 8:25am CITV 9:00am The Championship 10:00am The Sunday Edition 11:00am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:05am The Way We Worshipped 11:35am Wales Soccer Sunday 12:05pm The X Factor 1:45pm The X Factor - The Result 2:20pm To Be Announced 3:05pm World Rally Championship 4:05pm The Food Show 4:35pm To Be Announced 5:00pm To Be Announced 5:30pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:45pm ITV News; Weather 6:00pm Emmerdale 6:30pm Coronation Street 7:00pm Heartbeat 8:00pm To Be Announced 9:30pm ITV News 9:45pm The South Bank Show 10:45pm Champions League Weekly Watch Chelsea face Barcelona, Liverpool entertain Bordeaux, Manchester United face FC Copenhagen, and Arsenal host CSKA Moscow. 12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 3:35am Trading Treasures 4:00am ITV Nightscreen 4:30am ITV Early Morning News Since the BBC2 column my mood seems to have lightened. Maybe it’s the thought of Extras being on soon. “You look like David Bowie”, must listen to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. What a joyful idea. Maybe I could dance on all the stenching pizzas and hacks underneath the tables.

5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Trans World Sport 7:00am World Superbikes 7:30am Freesports on 4 8:00am T4:Popworld 8:50am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:20am T4:Slave to Fashion 12:20pm Girls Aloud: Off the Record 12:50pm T4:Beauty and the Geek 1:50pm T4:Smallville: Superman the Early Years 2:15pm T4:Charmed 3:50pm Men in White 4:55pm Deal or No Deal 5:40pm T4:Decoding Da Vinci 6:40pm Channel 4 News 9:00pm The Italian Job The original is awesome, however the remake is like a bag of dead cats. Horrible. 11:05am 4 Music:4Music Presents... 12:35am 4 Music:BT Digital Music Awards 2006 1:25am To Be Announced 1:35am 4 Music:4Play 1:55am 4 Music:Rockfeedback 1:35am Countdown 2:20am The Private Life of Henry VIII Some films: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Annie Hall, Shaun Of the Dead, Me and You and Everyone We Know, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Apocalypse Now, 8 1/2, Lost In Translation, About Schmidt, Dead Man, La Dolce Vita, On the Waterfront, Do the Right Thing, Donnie Darko, Salvatore Giuliano, The Graduate, Sin City, Almost Famous, Harvey, City of God, Memento, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Descent, Dr. Strangelove, 24 Hour Party People, Rebel Without a Cause, The Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness, The Hudsucker Proxy.

5:00am The Save-Ums! 5:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 5:35am Sailor Sid 5:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 5:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 6:25am The Little Princess 6:40am Make Way for Noddy 7:00am Franklin 7:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 8:00am Pumpkin Moon 8:30am The Secret of Eel Island 8:45am Demolition Dad 9:00am Round the Twist 9:35am Over the Sea to School 10:05am Snobs 10:35am Michaela's Wild Challenge 11:05am A Different Life 11:35am Revelations 12:05pm five news update 12:10pm To Be Announced 1:15pm Hanging Up 3:15pm The Hallelujah Trail Beleaguered cavalry officer Burt Lancaster is under attack from a bizarre collection of pressure groups in this entertaining comedy western. 6:00pm Make Me a Supermodel 8:00pm Greatest Ever Scary Movies brings you 40 of the most macabre tales ever to hit our cinema screens, with interviews of Kathy Bates, Robert Englund, and Linda Blair. 10:45pm World's Wildest Police Videos 10:10pm The Salton Sea 1:00am Major League Baseball - The World Series 2:30am Ironman 3:20am Football Argentina Just ordered the Infernal Affairs trilogy from Play. Being bored is turning out to be mighty expensive. Hmmm, must stay away from those shiny Hi-Def cameras.

6:00pm Robin Hood 6:45pm Castaway 9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm The Real Hustle 10:20pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:00am To Be Announced Some Music: The Velvet Underground, Bob Dylan, The Arcade Fire, The Loves, Los Campesinos!, Joy Division, David Bowie The Cure, The Super Furry Animals, Fonda 500, Gorkys, Neutral Milk Hotel, Beck, Pavement, My Bloody Valentine, Jesus and Mary Chain, The Shins, The Kinks, The Spinto Band, New Pornographers, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Wedding Present, Silver Jews, Adam Green, Blonde Redhead, Bjork, The Smiths, The Lemonheads, The Flaming Lips, The Shout Out Louds, The Dears, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Sky Larkin, Envelopes, Pavement, Sonic Youth...

6:00pm Planet Earth 7:00pm Reader, I Married Him 8:00pm Lead Balloon 8:30pm More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 9:00pm Mark Lawson Talks to Ridley Scott 10:00pm The Men from the Agency 10:50pm The Mark Steel Lecture 12:50am Pete Doherty Talks to Kirsty Wark 1:20am The Secret Life of Mrs Beeton 1:45am Forbidden Shostakovich: Symphonies 1 and 14 Some directors: Kubrick, Scorsese, Leone, Allen, Jarmusch, Lynch, Aronofsky, Burton, Raimi, De Palma, Moore, Almodovar, Lars von Trier, PTA, Fincher, Boyle, Polanski, Rodriguez, Smith, Godard, Malick, Hitchcock, Kurosawa, Fellini, Anthony Hurley, the Coen brothers, Romero, Cronenberg, Alexander Payne, Spike Lee... You will pay for your excessive charms... I need a change of scenery...

5:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 5:25am Mopatop's Shop 5:35am Engie Benjy 5:45am Fun Song Factory 6:00am Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 6:20am Power Rangers Space Delta Patrol 6:55am Totally Spies! 7:30am Emperor's New School 8:05am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:25am Movies Now 8:40am The New Adventures of Superman 9:40am The New Adventures of Superman 10:40am Emmerdale Omnibus 1:05pm To Be Announced 3:10pm Coronation Street Omnibus 5:55pm The X Factor 7:40pm The X Factor - The Result 8:15pm Xtra Factor: Results 9:00pm Entourage 9:30pm The Office: An American Workplace 10:00pm Best Man's Speech 9:10pm To Be Announced 12:15am The X Factor 1:00am The X Factor - The Result 1:45am ITV Play: Playdate

5:00am E4 Music Zone 1:10pm Popworld 2:00pm Justin Timberlake: T4 Special 2:30pm Beyonce: T4 Special 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm Scrubs 5:30pm The War at Home 6:00pm One Tree Hill 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm Ghost Whisperer 9:00pm The Sopranos 10:15pm Hollyoaks: In the City 1:00am Porn: A Family Business 1:30am Bo in the USA 1:00am Invasion 2:00am The Album Chart Show 3:00am Switched 3:30am Switched 4:00am Switched 4:30am Nokia Isle of Wight Festival 2006 What’s angry and round? A vicious circle... I like shallow depth of field, desaturated hues, and Hi-Def. I also like long walks in the park spotting doggers. Are you ready to be heartbroken... Oh Mandy...

7:00am World Superbikes 7:30am Freesports on 4 7:50am Hollyoaks Omnibus 10:30am Charmed 11:30am Yr Wythnos 12:00pm Maniffesto 12:30pm Men in White 1:30pm Overboard 3:30pm Decoding Da Vinci 4:30pm Newyddion 4:35pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 6:30pm Popeth yn Gymraeg 7:00pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 7:30pm Mastermind Cymru 8:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 9:10pm Newyddion 9:45pm Heist 12:50am Bremner, Bird and Fortune 1:50am TBA 2:15am KOTV Kevin McCallister: I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape.

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The de Ville’s Advocate This week: My head’s spinning, boy I’m in a daze...

It’s a bike. You hang it to a tree. Dur!

Tie your baby to a tree - that’ll teach it for moaning...

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I’m almost writing this column from a hospital bed or even the infernal depths of hell. Fortunately for you I’m as well as can be expected for an arthritic pensioner with knees that bend obtusely without warning. Earlier this evening I was walking with caution as the autumn leaves can be rather hazardous to a frail old mare such as myself. Imagine my surprise when I almost slipped over due to a carelessly strewn mango rather than the usual seasonal deluge of conkers and tree dandruff. I would just like to say to the person who dropped the offending fruit: You are a complete knobgobbler and I damn you for all of eternity. I’ve also become a bit too fond of WALNUT WHIPS. Hopefully if I mention them enough on this page, I’ll get some kind of conical confectionary-shaped reward from the lovely people who manufacture WALNUT WHIPS. I love the fact that the only nut in the whole sweet is a walnut stuck to the top of an otherwise delectable treat. I’m not a huge fan of walnuts. Anything resembling a wizened brain will not, as a rule, find its way into my mouth. There are exceptions but I won’t elaborate just now. Like the gherkins in a burger, the walnut in a whip is an unnecessary adornment designed purely to confuse and distress. Fortunately, the walnut does not taint the flavour in a WALNUT WHIP. The same cannot be said for gherkins, who contaminate everyone and everything in their wake without a second thought. Pickles make me angry. Anyway, the delicious mallow in the centre of a WALNUT WHIP is what I would imagine a cloud tastes like in Carealot. If you glance to your left you will notice that I’ve included a few of my favourite Christmas tree adornments. I’ve already erected my tree in eager anticipation of the impending holiday season. Here are the ones that have the pride of place in my collection. The wheelbarrow was designed by none other than Gay Search herself. I bought it on Ebay for seventy pounds after a fierce bidding war with a fellow horticultural enthusiast. I wanted Alan Titchmarsh’s ornamental sparkly trowel but my budget didn’t stretch that far. I’ve got my eye on Monty Don’s Poinsettia bauble but it doesn’t go on sale until next week. I would never put tinsel on my tree - it’s just so tacky. Christmas is all about dignity.

Why won’t he STOP? Dear Grace, My flatmate is really starting to get on my goat. What began as a harmless prank has now escalated into something much, much more sinister. One night around six months ago he crept into my room while I was asleep and began to tickle me until I woke up in a state of utter bewilderment. I managed to see the funny side but now things have taken a twisted turn. He has no control of his actions and often bursts into my room while he’s still asleep. Now he’s supplementing his hands with a variety of tickling aids such as a runcible spoon, a whisk, a lit cigarette, a dog’s lipstick, some carpet samples, a thirsty giraffe, a cannon, some barbed wire, Cluedo playing pieces, some yoghurt-coat-

ed raisins, foil pie cases, a knitting needle, a bunch of fake plastic grapes, and some frogspawn. He seems to take particular delight in sprinkling cat littler or lentils on me until I wake up sputtering on my own blood and breathless due to the grit scraping away the surface of my oesophagus. I’m all tickled out - what’s his problem? Patrick Bateman, 27, Canton

Either that or tie him to the bed. If anyone disturbs you they may mistake you for a rapist so I’d advise against this plan of action. Actually, you’d probably have some explaining to do if you were found to be covertly feeding your housemate date-rape drugs. In answer to your question, I don’t know what his problem is. I advise that you tickle him with a moving car and see how he likes THAT. Alternatively, try a tazer gun:

Bobby Brown reached the apex of modern thinking when he said: “two can play that game”. They certainly can. I’d suggest that you inflict the same kind of treatment on him, only temporarily immobilise him to ensure that he cannot wriggle free from your irritating torrent of abuse. I don’t normally condone the use of Rohypnol, but this little bastard deserves it.

Fresher in homesickness ‘shocker’ Dear Grace, I’ve recently started to really miss my mum and dad. When I moved out in September I couldn’t wait to see the back of them. In fact, I actually told them to “Fuck off and die” as I forcibly pushed them into the car. Of course, I waited for them to take me to Tesco and stock up my cupboards before I did this. I’m not stupid. I cried yesterday when I thought of the endless roast dinners, clean sheets and pocket money that I’ve missed out on since I started uni. Sometimes I actually miss my mother’s gnarly, downtrodden, weather-beaten old face and my father’s no-nonsense, firm-but-fair conservatism. They may worship Delia Smith and think Jim Davidson is the funniest person who ever lived, but who is going to pick the lumps out of my Branston pickle now that I’ve flown the

nest? My halls of residence smells like a cross between a festering armpit and a damp village hall and I have to walk to the laundry room to do my washing. I want to quit my degree and move back home where it’s warm and fluffy. What shall I do? Jan, 22, formerly of Devon. Dear Jan, I’m sure you’re a lovely boy/girl, but you’ve painted yourself as a bit of an obnoxious twat in this letter. I can’t really empathise with you as I lived with my mother until I was forty-eight. I’d still be living with her now if she hadn’t choked on a carrot stick; God rest her soul. It’s time to face up to the cold, harsh reality of life you spoilt fuckjaw. Your parents are probably delighted to see the back of you, and are tossing their car keys into a bowl with wild abandon and engaging in

indecent acts of wife-swapping RIGHT NOW. Does that make you feel sick? I hope so. The only solution to your “problem” (try working down the mines at the age of five, you moron) would be to provoke your parents into disowning you, therefore ensuring that you wouldn’t be able to go home even if you wanted to. It’s time you stood on your own two feet. It sounds like your parents are going to be tough nuts to crack, so you’re going to have to do something awful to incur their wrath. When they next vacate the house to go on an outdoor pursuits weekend in the north Yorkshire moors, why not invite all your friends around to smoke crack in the living room and then pimp out a few of the more attractive ones to the local gentry. Once your home has been suitably established as the local crack-denwhore-house, burn it to the ground and fill your Dad’s car with silage. This is also a good way of testing how much your parents love you.

Tell me your “issues”. I can’t help. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t disturb me during the winter months, so please get your problems in soon. Can the person who keeps asking me if I preferred Cleopatra or Thunderbugz please piss off? Cheers.

gairrhydd

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Grab some popcorn

The ride of your life T

his Halloween, the horror will continue long after the sun sets, as Alton Towers keep their gates open for an additional week, until November 5th, giving thrill seekers everywhere the chance to experience some of the most exhilarating thrill rides…in the dark! Just choose who you sit next to carefully, as anything can happen when the lights go out! Whether it’s the monster spins of Ripsaw, manic looping of Nemesis past pools of blood and rocky terrain or soaring and diving while weightlessly suspended on Air that gets your heart racing, only the most fool hardy will be brave enough to face them in the dark! As if the call of the thrill rides wasn’t enough for you adrenalin junkies, after the park closes the fear continues in the Alton Towers Hotel. Book a special rate room and you can turn your screams of pleasure to screams of terror, as you make your way through ‘Room 13’ - a scare maze themed around the chilling scenes of a haunted bedroom. Live actors lurk in darkened corners, under beds and in cupboards ready to scare anyone with the nerve to enter. Just try to stay up past bedtime as the later it gets, the more terrifying the maze becomes! Go and enjoy the thrill rides for an amazing £12, rides open include Air, Nemesis, Ripsaw, The Blade and Oblivion. To get the full spine tingling experience, and test your nerves in Room 13’ stay at the Alton Towers Hotel for only £20 per person! Call 0870 990 6665 to book. In celebration of the extra terror week we have teamed up with Alton Towers and have a pair of tickets to give away, to be in with a chance of winning simply answer the following simple question. Alton Towers close their gates a week later on November 5th this year. What else is this day famous for? Email us at the usual address.

WIN your Halloween Costume! Dunbar costumes have generously offered you guys the chance to win a free fancy dress costume worth up to £30 from their on-line store www.dunbarcostumes.co.uk. Perfect for this week’s Halloween celebrations! The selection of costumes available from Dunbar is vast, ranging from traditional witch and wizard costumes to comic heroes and horror movie characters. Dress up as characters such as Scooby Doo, Freddy Kreuger, Darth Vader, Fred Flinstone, the Addams Family or even one of the characters from Little Britain! The costumes are really detailed and reasonable priced with free delivery on orders over £30. Dunbar Costumes also offer a student discount of 10% on all on-line orders! So why not impress Halloween night with a brilliantly realistic costume from Dunbar. To win a free costume worth up to £30 just email us the answer to this simple question: What is the name of the daughter in the Addams family? a. Tuesday b. Wednesday c. Thursday

What a better way to spend your Halloween than a night at the flicks watching a scary movie. Vue cinema at the Millenium Plaza have some perfectly horrifying films on this Halloween and are offering you the chance to win one of two pairs of tickets. Why not catch the latest Texas Chainsaw film, The Beginning. Set in 1969, this horror prequel revolves around four youngsters travelling to Texas for a weekend of drunken debauchery before potentially joining the army and heading out to Vietnam. But their trip takes a turn for the worst when they are involved in a crash and a suspicious sheriff picks three of them up and takes them back to the Hewitt residence to meet Thomas – the man who will one day come to be known as ‘Leatherface’. It’s then left to Chrissie, the girl the sheriff left behind, to save her friends from a fate worse than death. Or... you can watch The Grudge 2. This sequel to the global horror hit of 2006 (which itself was a remake of a Japanese film) continues the story of ‘The Grudge’, a mysterious supernatural curse that kills those who come into contact with it. Kicking off in a burneddown house in Tokyo, the grudge is unleashed on a group of seemingly unrelated victims, who have no way of stopping it. As well as a very useful student discount, if you book your Vue tickets today online to see two horror films you can get a free horror DVD! Just log onto their website for more information www.myvue.com. For your chance to win one of two pairs of Vue cinema tickets just send us an e-mail.

Horror Stories Fancy a night in this Halloween, snuggled up with a scary book? Blackwell’s bookshop in the union are giving you the chance to win gift vouchers to spend on anything you like in the shop along with a handy wallplanner and some money saving vouchers. Blackwell's, your university bookshop, has some great offers on at the moment including the Buy Back scheme where you can sell back your old, unneeded text books and get up to 40% of the retail value in Blackwell's voucher or 33% in cash! They also have other great deals including the reward card, pick one up in store and everytime you spend £10 in the store on anything including books, CD's or stationary you'll get your card stamped. The more stamps the more you can save. And don't forget that Blackwell's can order those hard to find text books for you and usually deliver them within 48 hours. Just ask in store or visit the website. www.blackwell.co.uk. To be in with a chance of winning some Blackwell's gift vouchers just email us at the usual address.

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

gairrhydd

FIVEMINUTEFUN@gairrhydd.COM

SUDOKU 8

Cheese.....

Could you live without it? I think not.

6 5

7 2

5 4

HOW TO PLAY SUDOKO: Fill in the grid using only the numbers 1 through to 9. All the vertical and horizontal rows should contain the numbers 1 to 9. All the smaller 3 by 3 squares should contain the numbers 1-9. No row or 3 by 3 square should have the same number twice.

CROSSWORD 2

10 11

19 20

ACROSS

1 Run (tape) back (6) 4 Airgun shot (6) 7 Person to take the blame (9) 9 Biblical character (4) 10 Firm, steady (4) 11 Under (5) 13 Riddle (6) 14 Child (6) 15 Build up (6) 17 Free, release (6) 19 Shelf (5) 20 Dull, heavy sound (4) 22 Green citrus fruit (4) 23 Artificial sweetener (9) 24 Putrid (6) 25 Area of low pressure (6)

2. Left unattended stilton has been known to attack other, less potent cheeses.

4. French cheeses (scum) migrate south during spring frosts.

4 1

1.Chilled cheeses should be taken out of the refrigerator one and a half or two hours before serving.

3.Wrap soft cheeses loosely. Use waxed or greaseproof paper rather than cling film.

3 It’s better to have cheesed and lost than to have never have cheesed at all.....

FIVE MINUTE FUN

OCTOBER.23.2006

DOWN 1 Curdled milk (6) 2 Move very slowly (4) 3 Natty, spruce (6) 4 Trafalger Square bird (6) 5 Bakery product (4) 6 Hard deposit on teeth (6) 7 Wise (9) 8 Waterproof cloth (9) 11 Slope (5) 12 Flinch 15 Draw (material into small tucks (6) 16 Minister 17 Amazed (6) 18 Deep furrow (6) 21 Sudden quick movement (4) 22 Floor covering (4)

Stalkers Learn from the best...

Ever really wanted to take up stalking but you just don’t know the rules? Well look no further as we lovingly list the weirdest stalkers and give you useful tips on how to make the most of you’re stalker capabilities...You’re my wife now dave. 1. After the Scream horror films Neve Campbell was terrorized by a string of stalkers including one who thought he was William Shakespeare. Take note any budding poet’s...the ladies love it. 2. According to the legislation, a stalker is defined as "someone who willfully, maliciously and repeatedly follows or harasses another victim and who

makes a credible threat with the intent to place the victim or victim's immediate family in fear of their safety." Pah...what do they know? I know my victim loves me. Period. 3. Probably the most famous case of stalking, Dec. 9, 1980 Mark Chapman shot John Lennon while clutching the book ‘ Catcher in the Rye’. Asked why he did it he claimed that up until that moment he only saw Lennon as a cardboard cut out from an album cover and was too caught up in the music and media surrounding Lennon to realise that he was actually a person. Chapman later claimed in his statement to the police, “This has nothing to do with being a Beatle or a celebrity or famous. He was breathing, and I knocked him right off his feet”. Chapman is a massive gay. 4. Recently carted off to the loco bin, Lara Bell was convicted of stalking Jesse Scharf’s weener. In a high profile court case, Bell said her victim “wasn’t worth it anyway” adding, “next time I’ll do more research first, when I got to the goods there was a bit missing”

Ghost punching...Who you gonna call?

38 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

OCTOBER.23.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This week: Guys and Dolls, A Child’s Christmas in Wales, Razorlight and

Graham Coxon

@ Coal Exchange Mon. Oct 23 7.30pm/ £14 Listings Editor Jenna Harris recommends

raham Coxon has been a very busy boy since leaving Blur following their high profile, acrimonious split, but the Rineln (in Germany if you were wondering) born multi-instrumentalist has fallen uncannily on his feet. A former Goldsmiths College fine art student, Coxon has released three albums since then, and his latest, Love Travels at Illegal Speeds, is him at his most rounded, garage rock best.

Guys and Dolls @WMC Oct 23-28 7.30pm/ £10 Liz Stauber recommends

ike most normal girls with great taste for trashy television, I loved Footballers Wives. However, Bruno Milligan was never one of my favourite characters. He was always mad, angry and badly acted, so when I heard that the actor who played him, Ben Richards, was starring in Guys and Dolls, I did not hold out much hope.

Coming Up

Featuring songs themed about the many facets to love, breaking up and everything in between, it has been described by his website as “a love album that doesn’t very often sound like a love album; a riotous, rifftastic blast with a particularly soft centre.” Coxon himself has stated that: “Lyrically there’s nothing coy about it. It’s more of a carnivorous record, whereas my others have been vegetarian.” His three albums released while with Blur have featured styles that have varied wildly from one another. His first solo project, The Sky is Too High, veered from garage rock to English folk, while album number three Crow Sit on Blood Tree has garnered comparisons with Nick Drake. His first post-Blur release was The Kiss of Morning, but it was with 2004’s Happiness in Magazines, which spurned the single Freakin’ Out, three minutes of primal, punky rock brilliance, that saw him gain his greatest solo success to date, sell out Cardiff’s Barfly and reach number 19 in the

Especially as the West End got Patrick Swayze. But I was wrong. Which was weird, because usually, I'm always right. The show is set on New York City's Broadway and follows the story of two gamblers, Nathan Detroit and Sky Masterson, and their love interests Miss Adelaide and Sarah Brown. In a bid to raise $1000 for his crap game, Detroit bets masterson that he could not get Save our Souls sergeant Sarah Brown of the Salvation Army to come away with him to Havana. However, Masterson succeds, but while there, he realises that for the first time he is in love, and she is in fact, his type of girl. Back in NYC, Miss Adelaide desperately tries to convince Detroit to give up his gambling and marry her, fourteen years after he proposed. A multi talented cast act, sing and

album charts, despite releasing the album on his own label, Transcopic. As well as his day job, Coxon has not neglected mixing with the art world. In September, he created a soundtrack to an exhibition held at the Riflemaker Gallery in London for artist Julie Verhoeven, and his next project will involve writing a track inspired by abstract impressionalist painter Franz Kline to accompany an exhibition at the Tate Gallery. His next single release will be Bloody Annoying/What Ya Gonna Do Now, and there is no doubt whatsoever that he will repeat the success of his last album.

dance their way through the two and a half hour show which includes songs such as "Luck be a Lady" and was voted the winner of the "Outstanding M u s i c a l Production" Olivier A w a r d 2006. The endearing naievety of Sarah B r o w n wins over the audience as she learns of the bet which led her to fall in love with Masterson, and causes her heart to break. The show is definitely worth the ticket price (10% student discount, £10 cheaps seats), as the audience has its faith in old fashioned romance reignited through the efforts of Sky to win back his girl.,son relaises

that for the first time he is in love, and she is in fais

Razor light @ CIA Sat. Oct 28 6.30pm Natalie Parkinson recommends

he mighty Razorlight are set to rip it up at Cardiff Indoor Arena, on October 28 as part of their European tour, lasting from October 20 to December 7, travelling to Germany, Holland, Austria, Russia and France. This week they quite rightly stole David Hasselhoff’s number one chart spot spanning the slogan ‘Stop the Hoff’ with their first released song from their newly acclaimed album, ‘America’, selling over 10 million copies and knocking the scissor sisters from their four week top slot. If that isn’t a good enough reason to go and celebrate with them I don’t know what is. Get out the champers I say. The album was first graced at the V Festival this summer resulting in huge amounts of fans to scream along in joy, causing Morrissey, who was playing simultaneously on the main stage, to stumble and fall in Razorlight’s presence. Having won two awards at the Vodafone Live Music Awards last week and being nominated for Best

A Child’s Christmas In Wales @ New Theatre Oct 24-28 Listings editor Rosaria Sgueglia recommends

know it’s not Christmas yet, but when I read about this musical I couldn’t resist to the temptation to write about it. So please forgive my white weekly spirit (again!) and maybe you will be tempted too by this great masterpiece. A Child’s Christmas in Wales is a wonderful recollection of Dylan Thomas holiday in the seaside town of his youth, he recalls every sight, smell and sound of a long-ago Christmas. This emotional story represents one of the first example of audio-literature ,in fact it contributed to the launch of the company Caedmon. A Child’s Christmas in Wales celebrates a bygone era where even heading to the end of the road

Live Act at the Q awards they are certainly determined to prove themselves as one of the best live bands in the country. Michael Parkinson is among one of those to think so. Having been so amazed by their shining performance at Glastonbury in the summer of 2005 where they played in a low key Sunday morning slot just three months later he had them on his show, impressing guest star Tom Cruise in their wake. Razorlight are not strangers to playing to mass audiences, ranging from 40, 000 on their UK tour last year to 6 billion at the live 8 concert on July 2nd 2005, coming a long way from playing to a minority in Johnny’s back garden. With two record selling albums to get your teeth into you are not going to want to resist staying up all night with Razorlight.

was an adventure for a young boy. This story published for the first time in 1955 recreates the experience of Christmas as though it is a fairy tale. If Thomas subtitles that the Christmas experience is an universal thing shared by everybody, in the meantime he emphasizes that modern Christmases are not as good as the ones he remembers he writes “It was snowing. It was always snowing at Christmas (…) it was a dumb, numb thunderstorm of white, and far more exciting”. Thomas recreates the nostalgic magic of a childhood Christmas when everything was brighter and better. A Child’s Christmas in Wales has been adapted for the stage by Michael Bogdanov, a stalwart of Welsh theatre. His production of Thomas’ Under Milk Wood in 2003 was a hugely popular and critical hit. He is joined by Jack Herrick, member of the Red Clay Ramblers, who has composed more than a dozen new songs for the show. The Red Clay Ramblers received a Tony® Award for their part in Fool Moon on Broadway and their music has featured in the films Far North and Silent Tongue along with the TV series Northern Exposure. Don’t miss this romantic musical, if you aren’t Welsh this can be your chance to live even a little bit of the magic of the Welsh Christmas.

The Others -30 Oct @ Barfly...Mistys Big Adventure plus special guest Kate Goes -1 Nov @The Point... American Head Charge -2 Nov @Coal Exchange...Puressence/ Film / Selfish Kings -3 Nov @ Barfly...Vile Evils (Pop Will Eat Itself) -4 Nov @Barfly...An Inconvenient Truth 3-8 Nov @Chapter Arts Centre...Hayseed Dixie-7 Nov @ Coal Exchange...John Power -11 Nov @The Point...

gairrhydd

LISTINGS

OCTOBER.23.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

the wonderful, wonderful Graham Coxon

Monday

23/10

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative sweat fest. 10pm2am. £3. X Factory @ The Taf The University’s student radio station shows off its best DJs. 9pm-1am. Free with NUS. I-Candy @ Tiger Tiger Wales’s latest superclub. £3/4 NUS. Movie Monday @ Moloko DJs, new music, live bands. 7pm. Free. Yes Boss+ Marvin The Martianly @ Barfly “They Think It’s All Over” is a massive dig at football fans everywhere who are too obsessed with eleven men than they are their own girlfriends whilst “Indie Kids” is an hilarious dig at those of us who walk around in our Chuck Taylors staring at the ground. 7.30pm.£6 Pick Of The Day Contender @ Sherman Theatre 'Contender' is a musical about one man, a boxer, who against all the odds follows his dream to achieve sporting immortality. Featuring the Academy of Musical Theatre Wales and the Performing Arts students of Gorseinon College. A chance to see Mal Pope's new musical in development. 8pm. www.shermantheatre.co.uk. The Notorious Bettie @ Chapter Arts Centre The latest from the director of I Shot Andy Warhol and American Psycho is a provocative exploration of sexuality, religion and pop culture. Gretchen Mol stars as famous pin-up girl Bettie Page, who grew up in a conservative religious family in Tennessee and became a photo model sensation in 1950s New York. Bettie’s legendary fetish poses made her the target of a senate investigation into pornography, and transformed her into an erotic icon who continues to enthral fans today. 8.30pm.£5.10.

Friday 27/10

.. Access All Areas @ SU New Look Friday. Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. It should be a good night. 10pm-2am. £3.50/£3 adv. Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV compares an indietastic night of alternative music, from the Strokes to the Smiths. 10.30pm-2am. £5. Chaos @ Metros The hard rock night. £2.50 before 10pm. Full Fat @ Moloko Cheeky bootlegs to heavy funk, old skool classics, and jump up party breaks. Free entry before 11pm.

Dues Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach All the radest sound you can imagine, with a sprinkling of classic rock and soul. Expect the Smiths, Stones, Aretha and much more. 10.30pm. £3.50. Pick of the Day

Howling Bells @ Barfly Up and coming Australian band led by singer/guitarist Juanita Stein. Last seen playing Solus as part of the NME New Music Tour, the band have returned to Cardiff with their own brand of country rock mixed with how Twin Peaks would sound if it were a type of music. Stein’s voice is captiviatingly mysterious. 7.30pm. £7. Guys and Dolls @ Wales Millenium Centre. See the preview opposite for more information. Beneath The Surface Presents: The Loves / Little My @ Clwb Ifor Bach The Loves are one of those bands who make lo-fi summer pop mingled with a dash of Seventies attitude, and can count Belle and Sebastian as fans. Definitely worth a look. 8pm. £4.

Tuesday

24/10

Forecast @ Buffalo Bar A weekly clubnight. Something of a night of hidden treasures: Representing under-represented music. www.weareforecast.com 8pm-3am. £6. Planet Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bac Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth”. Drinks promotions and you can email song requests. Alternatively, myspace at www.myspace.com/planet_rock_club 9pm-2pm. £3. The Decade (Club Night) @ Barfly DECADE brings you the very best Pop, Cheese, and crossover tracks from the eighties and nineties. Remember the likes of Care-Bears, dancing flowers, Sonic the Hedgehog and Where’s Wally? Well they all hold a special place in our hearts and so do the tunes! Show your NUS at the door and not only will you get in for £2 you'll also get a free drink voucher! 10.30pm.£3/2. Kiss Me Deadly @ Chapter Arts Centre Kiss Me Deadly boasts nightmarish imagery, a careering, sinuous plot, and an unforgettable shock ending.6.30pm.£5.10. My Alamo+ The Tunguska Event + Frame 3-13 @ Barfly Fresh out of Sabbath City, the Brummie birthplace of all the best rock, and banging on about “politics, heroes and heroines, birth, rebirth and sexual practices”. 7.30pm. £5. Pick Of The Day Push 4 Presents Kathryn Williams plus special guest Tobias Froberg @ The Point Kathryn Williams is one of the UK’s most acclaimed singer-songwriters – having been nominated for the Mercury Music Prize a few years ago. Admired by such artists as Dido and Nora Jones, Kathryn continues to gather fans with each new release and concerts. 7.30pm. £15.

Saturday 28/10 Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Traffic (DJ and clubbing society) playing house music in the other. 10pm. £3.50. Blueprint @ Moloko Retro disco, future house, disco roots, drinks promos. Latin in the Express lounge. Free before 10pm, £3.50 after. Delinquent @ Metros Go and be delinquent whilst listening to the latest indie tunes and a mix of rock classics. Free toast as well. 10pm. £4. Clwb Cariad @ Clwb Ifor Bach Contemporary sounds (downstairs) with a little bit of other stuff thrown in 10pm – 2.30am. £3/4. Mumm-Ra @ Barfly Alternative rock from Bexhill-on-Sea. MummRa are a Sussex band who claim that “We began creating music that stretched our experience of every aspect of our lives into new and invigorating shapes.” 7.30pm. £6. Death Before Disco / Zenyth @ The Social Zenyth are fresh from partaking in a Cardiff Oxjam event, and the classic rock band will bring their winning concoction of musicality and rocking tunes to The Social. Contact venue for more information. Secret Garden @ The Point Secret Garden are a duo whose music is built on simple melodies, storytelling. 10pm. £12.50. Pick Of The Day

The Walk @ Dempsey's: Pete & The Pirates / Attack / Defend / Shake My Hand / Threatmantics Pete & The Pirates are signed to Stolen Records and make post punk pop. They also live in Reading. Attack + Defend are apparently an electro pop band that writes “Country toe-tappers.” (Ents24.com). Could be interesting, go and take a look. 7.30pm. £5.

Wednesday 25/10

Thursday 26/10

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. On one, classic funk and motown, another, indie classics and brand new music, and on the final floor, cheese. 9.30pm. £3. The Soho Dolls + Ridinghood + Triflesky @ Barfly Shouty, pouty strike-a-pose electro-strop with attitude; processed beats punctured by stabbing synths, angular guitar and chunky bass is what th Soho Dolls are all about. Glam rock aesthetic combined with spiky punk rhetoric with Debbie Harry and Florian Schneider battling it out with Tubeway Army to lead them into the hearts of listeners all over the world.7.30pm. £6. Unga Bunga @Sherman Theatre Action, adventure and mystery abound as the villagers of Unga Bunga find themselves at the mercy of a sabre-toothed tiger. Join the villagers and a cast of phantom Morris dancers, man-eating plants and cordon-bleu cannibals for a spectacular extravanganza for all the family, full of prehysterical mayhem and unforgettable songs!.7.30pm. £10. Think Floyd @ St. David’s Hall This extraordinary band, dubbed ‘The Definitive Pink Floyd Experience’ return with a special double-bill celebration of both Dark Side Of The Moon and Wish You Were Here, accompanied by a selection of other classic Floyd. 8.30pm. £12.50/14.50. Christopher Brooke's "& the concept of zero" @ The Top Floor Bar, Cineworld. Christopher Brooke will launch his debut poetry collection & the concept of zero (Cinnamon Press) at The Top Bar, Cineworld, Cardiff, 8pm on Tuesday 24th October. Critically acclaimed, and already requested for consideration by the Wales Book of The Year panel, and the concept of zero deals with, amongst other things, small town identity within the big city. 8 pm. FREE.

The Bait Shop (Club Night) @ Barfly For all those who want a student night with an alternative twist. At the Baitshop we're all about the upcoming trends whilst keeping a finger in the pie of those gone by. We've got everything from Deathcab and The Shins through to Basement Jaxx and The Chemical Brothers without forgetting to stop by Michael Jackson, Prince and Madonna. 10.30pm. £3/2 with NUS CARD. Clubnight @ La Tropicana Hip-hop and R&B student night. Go knock yourselves out. 10pm.

Sunday 29/10 Pick of the Day The Hop @ Buffalo Bar Resident DJs present 50’s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. Cult 50s films, drive in themes and extra large milkshakes are said to be involved as well. 8pm-3am. Free Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere, along with your chance to experience live acoustic acts, songwriters, bands and performers, as well as participating yourself if you so desire. 8pm-3am. £1.00 No Wax @ Moloko Bring your MP3s and you can be a DJ. I recommend hijacking the venue and subjecting people to obsure indie bands (Terris, anyone?), or Wagner’s Ring Cycle. 7pm-2am. Free. Mozart - 250 Years of Sheer Genius: Mozart Festival Orchestra, Steven Devine, Mark van de Wiel @ St. David’s Hall. Yes, that Mozart was a genius this performance features Overture: The Marriage of Figaro, Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, Piano Concerto No 21, Clarinet Concerto and Symphony No 40). Performed in a candle-lit setting, in full 18th century costume. 5pm. Dopamine / The Blackout @ Barfly Meltdown Presents: Omega 66 / The Foundlings / Broken Sleep / Dirty Revolution + Menna Hughes @ Clwb Ifor Bach, Broekn Sleep are apparently in the guise of Massive Attack or Portishead. 8pm. £5. Russell Brand and Trevor Lock @ Bristol Hippodrome, Bristol. Sorry. It’s not in Cardiff and it is also sold out, but the only other thing happening today is an emo band gig, and we all know that the tight trousered one is a far better option. Maybe you can pretend you’re going...maybe a ticket will materialise out of thin air.

Aperture present Noisia Vision / Knowledge / Kid Robot / T-Base @ Clwb Ifor Bach Aperture present Noisia Vision feat Knowledge / Kid Robot / T-Base. DRUMBASS-JUNGLE. 10pm. £5/6. Smokehand+ Fred Snow + Leanne Jay @ Barfly Smokehand are a 4-piece ‘Dark Loungecore’ combo from Cardiff who play well-crafted songs with style and the confidence that comes from experience. The band has been described in the UK press as ‘like Scott Walker singing Tom Waits and Nick Cave songs. Don’t miss them. 7.30pm. £5/4. Mash Cinema presents FutureShorts @ Chapter Arts Centre Future Shorts is back with the usual mixture of original and inventive short films – documentary, music, video, experimental and drama – something for everyone.8.30pm.£5.10. Level 42 @ St. David’s Hall One of the biggest and most popular bands of the eighties are back on the road, led by ever-present band leader and bass maestro Mark King. The group will feature Gary Husband, Lyndon Connah, Nathan King, Sean Freeman and original keyboardist Mike Lindup. 8pm. £22.50.

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Inncognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

40 gairrhydd

SPORT

OCTOBER.23.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

Zoology triumph against MOMED Geraint Morris IMG Reporter

Zoology 2 - 1 MOMED

THE ZOO ARMY kicked off this year’s campaign with a vital and hard-fought win over much fancied MOMED. For the opening half hour, Zoology dominated proceedings and took a deserved lead when striker Tom Crowther dropped deep before playing in Nathan Farmer who fired home from 12 yards. And Zoology soon doubled their lead moments later. The prolific Crowther subsuquently beat three MOMED defenders before drilling a shot into the bottom corner. Despite finding themselves 2-0 down, MOMED responded well and went close after a James Woodroof free-kick cleared the bar by inches.

And MOMED hit back on the stroke of half-time. After Zoology’s Mark Essex was penalised for hand-ball in the area, striker Asher Pirie stroked home the resulting spot-kick. After the break, MOMED came out strongly but it was Zoology who should have increased their advantage when the lively Crowther hit the inside of a post. But MOMED could have levelled the match shortly afterwards when the referee ignored a penalty shout after Tom Gooch was brought down. In the last 20 minutes MOMED pressed forward without creating many chances and in the end Zoology held on for an impressive opening day win. Next week MOMED entertain a Law B side who beat TWNN, while Zoology play against Pharm AC who reached the Premiership last season. On the opening day, Pharm AC beat Japsoc 5-2.

Crusaders cruise to victory Adam Toulose IMG Reporter

Crusaders 4 - 1 Inter MeNan

A lengthy pre-season preparation certainly paid off as newcomers Cardiff Crusaders breezed to a 4-1 victory over Inter-Me-Nan. The Crusaders wasted no time in obtaining a dominant victory. Within the first minute, Crusaders got off to a flying start when left-back Innes Ross scored with a wonderful strike from 25 yards. And the score was soon 2-0 ten minutes later when George Anderson outpaced an Inter-Me-Nan central defenders before slottting the ball home. With the majority of possession in midfield, Rich Martin played exceptionally well for the Crusaders when the ball came to the left flank. The foreign edge of the Crusaders team also played a part as a superb individual effort from Luis Aldao saw the Crusaders go 3-0 up just before half time. But Inter-Me-Nan wasted no time in attempting a possible fightback as some sloppy defending at the beginning of the second half reduced the arrears to 3-1. However, the Crusaders sealed victory when Andrew Cave headed in a

IMG Football Results Wed 18 Oct

Zoology 2 Japsoc 2 Socsi 16 Law B 7

1 5 1 1

fourth for the Crusaders. Inter-Me-Nan surged forward despite the three-goal deficit, but they failed to get beyond the powerful Crusaders defence. Clearly, Crusaders had the cutting edge to win the game. A delighted skipper Ben Shaw said afterwards: “The boys have played brilliantly today. I think our extensive pre-season training has been the deciding factor. Let’s hope we can keep up the performances for the long-term.” In adddition, full-back Ross was eager to talk about his goal. He commented: “I could see that I had a shot on and I wanted to test the goalkeeper out early. I hit it hard and luckily the ball slotted straight past the keeper’s left side.” In the registration queue several weeks ago, a Crusaders team member joked: “First in the queue, first in the league.” Although there is plenty of football still to be played, Crusaders are currently topping Group D on goal difference and have made an encouraging start to the season. On the other hand, Inter Me-Nan will have to beat fellow IMG debutants Park Rangers next week to add weight to their ambitions of reaching Division One in 2007. Meanwhile, Crusaders face a Thunderkatz side who narrrowly lost 2-1 to Chem Soc.

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 25 Oct

MOMED Pharm AC Real Ale TWNN

Japsoc Law B Pharm AC Socsi

v v v v

Real Ale MOMED Zoology TWNN

v v v v

Esplanyol Myg Myg JOMEC Tank Engin

5 3 4 2

3 3 1 2

Myg Myg JOMEC Esplanyol Gym Gym

Arse’Alona Boca Seniors Economics Gym Gym

English Soc 1 Law A 18 Butthead FC 1 CARBS 4

8 0 2 0

AFC History Uni Hallstars Psycho Ath. J- Unit

AFC History Butthead FC English Soc Law A

v v v v

CARBS J- Unit Uni Hallstars Psycho Ath.

1 1 1 2

Inter Me-Nan Thunderkatz AFC Cathays Euros

AFC Cathays Crusaders Euros Inter Me-Nan

v v v v

Chem Soc Thunderkatz Havana Drag. Park Rangers

Economics Arse’Alona Tank Engin Boca Seniors

Crusaders Chem Soc Havana Drag. Park Rangers

4 2 1 2

Football Tables IMG Football

Group A P

Diff

Socsi

Law B

Pharm AC

Zoology*

MOMED

-1

Japsoc

-3

TWNN

-5

Real Ale Madrid

-15

IMG Football

PARK LIFE: No chance of a Sunday stroll

CARBS B-egin with win Chris Croissant IMG Reporter

CARBS B 7 - 1 IWC A CARBS B made a promising start to the season with a comprehensive victory over IWC A in Group A. A pleasing first half from CARBS saw them take an early lead with Goal Shooter, Natalie Harrison, securing most of the first few points. CARBS certainly dominated, with most of the play in ICW 3rds’ half. The second half saw a more even match, with CARBS only managing to score twice. Dominating throughout, CARBS attacked consistently with the Goal Attack missing a few early opportunities. But IWC A displayed some vig-

orous defending and kept CARBS at bay. IWC A certainly had difficulty penetrating the CARBS defence, with a few high, searching passes not quite finding the right hands. Yet they were soon rewarded for their grit and determination late on when Goal Shooter Catherine Herst scored a consolation goal. Afterwards IWC captain Claire Moseley was surprisingly upbeat She commented afterwards: “I’m really pleased with the performance. There’s a lot of new players who have never played together before and they pulled together really well.” Meanwhile, CARBS joint-captain Katherine Reilly said: “We are really pleased with our performance. Hopefully a good seaon lies ahead for us.”

menon on the match

Pts

Group B D

Diff

Pts

Tank Engin

Economics

JOMEC

Boca Seniors

Gym Gym

Arse’Alona*

Myg Myg

-2

Esplanyol

-3

IMG Football

Group C D

Diff

Pts

Law A

AFC History

CARBS

Psycho Ath.

Butthead FC

-1

J- Unit

-4

English Soc

-7

Uni Hallstars

-18

IMG Football

Group D D

Diff

Pts

Crusaders

Chem Soc

Euros

Park Rangers

AFC Cathays

Havana Drag.

Thunderkatz

-1

Inter Me-Nan

-3

* Team has been deducted 1 point

Netball Tables IMG Netball

Group A P

Diff

Pts

Cardiff A

Socsi A

CARBS B

-6

FOOTBALL

NETBALL

IWC A

NUMBER OF GOALS: 106 goals, 6.625 goals per game WHIPPING BOYS: Uni Hallstars and Real Ale Madrid SURPRISE PACKAGE: JOMEC get the nod for a superb display against favourites Arse’Alona. EPIC GAME: Arse’Alona v JOMEC, a thrilling 3-3 draw which was full of drama. CONSISTENT PERFORMER: Difficult. I suppose Socsi made an unforgettable return. Welcome back. TEAM OF THE WEEK: Law A get the gong for scoring 18 goals. What were the Hallstars thinking or drinking? A great achievement.

NUMBER OF GOALS: 148 Goals, 18.5 goals per game GOLDEN GIRLS: Cardiff A scored 24 goals SURPRISE PACKAGE: CARBS B deserve credit for beating IWC A comfortably. Well done girls. EPIC GAME: There was no close encounters this week, the games were too one-sided. CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Cardiff A and Socsi A started the season where they left off with victories. TEAM OF THE WEEK: A tough one. I suppose champions Cardiff A win this week following another easy win. Can anyone beat them?

Dynamo Tigers

-12

IWC B

-21

IMG Netball

Group B D

Diff

Pts

Christ. Union

Cardiff B

Automotive

Optometry

Socsi B

-11

Economics B

-16

IMG Netball

IMG Netball Fixtures Sat 21 Oct Automotive v Optometry Law B v CARBS A Locomotive v Pharmacy A English B v Medics A Wed 25 Oct Socsi A v IWC A IWC B v D. Tigers CARBS B v Cardiff A English A v Law B CARBS A v Pharmacy B Law A v SAWSA Pharmacy A v Gym Gym Medics v Locomotive

IMG Netball Results Wed 18 Oct D. Tigers 4 - 16 Socsi A Cardiff A 24 - 3 IWC B IWC A1 - 7 CARBS B Christ U 18 - 2 Economics B Cardiff B 14 - 3 Socsi B SAWSA 11 - 3 English A Pharm B 2 - 19 Law A Gym Gym 1 - 20 Economic A

Group C D

Diff

Pts

Law A

SAWSA

CARBS A

Law B

English A

-8

Pharmacy B

-17

IMG Netball

Group D D

Diff

Pts

Economics B

English B

Locomotive

Medics

Pharmacy A

Gym Gym

-19

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.23.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

SPORT Soccer seconds start superbly Ed Pitchforth Football Reporter

CARDIFF Mens’ 2nds...............3

Woody’s

word

a note from the AU President THE BUSA season is finally upon us, and it’s fair to say that our guys and gals dominated! Team of the week must be awarded to Netball firsts who beat rivals UWIC 38-31. Golf started their Premier League campaign with an emphatic win over Reading and Ladies rugby recorded a mighty 32-7 win over Exeter. Let’s not forget Ladies basketball’s 105-9 demolition of Winchester too! Unfortunately our newly promoted men’s teams of football, rugby and hockey lost on the opening day, but all three sides will be able to learn from their mistakes. Particularly devastating was rugby’s last gasp defeat at the hands of UWIC. Nevertheless, the performance showed real potential for the season ahead. Wednesday also saw the new IMG season kick-off and it lived up to everyone’s lofty expectations. I’m delighted with our new independent referees, who did a great job under typically hostile circumstances. It is fairly evident that the standard of IMG football has improved dramatically over the last three years, I was genuinely gobsmacked by some of the talent on show. So congratulations to all our BUSA winners, but let’s not get complacent. It’s a long season, so let’s get our game heads back on for next Wednesday.

BUSA Results Wed October 18

Men’s Hockey 0 - 3 Brunel Men’s 2 Hockey 5 - 2 UWE 2 Women’s 1 Hockey 5 - 2 Bath 2 Women’s 2 Hockey 3 - 2 UWIC 3 1 Netball 38 - 31 UWIC 2 Netball 41 - 26 Swansea 1 Men’s 1 Rugby 22 - 29 UWIC Men’s 2 Rugby 29 - 15 Swansea 2 Golf 4 - 2 Reading Men’s 1 Football 0 - 12 Hartbury 1 Men’s 2 Football 3 - 2 UWE 1 Women’s 1 Football 1 - 1 Gloucester Women’s Rugby 32 - 7 Exeter Men’s 1 Badminton 8 - 0 Gloucester 1 Women’s Badminton 4 - 4 Cambridge Women’s Basketball 105 - 9 Winchester Men’s Tennis 5 - 5 UWIC 1 Medics Men’s 1 Football 1 - 5 Swansea 2 Medics Men’s Hockey 0 - 2 Swansea 2 Men’s 3 Football 1 - 2 Aberystwyth 1 Men’s 4 Football 5 - 0 Swansea Inst. 1 Men’s 3 Hockey 3 - 1 Aberystwyth 1 Men’s 4 Hockey 2 - 0 Bristol 4 Netball 3 32 - 35 UWIC 4 Netball 4 54 - 14 Glamorgan 3

UWE Mens’ 1sts......................2 CARDIFF’S SECOND team produced a solid second half display to defeat UWE, taking all three points after rectifying a two-goal deficit. The 2nd XI were hoping to impress following last season’s promotion, but got off to the worst possible start by conceding within five minutes. UWE’s right winger broke away and fired a low cross which was coolly converted in the area. Cardiff continued to struggle throughout the opening period, appearing unfamiliar with a new look 3-5-2 formation. They eventually settled down and enjoyed plenty of possession but still failed to create any meaningful chances. UWE always looked more likely to score and doubled their advantage just before half time. A good cross from the left wing caught Cardiff napping, allowing the UWE strikers to combine, making it 2-0. The second half saw a completely different Cardiff side as they dominated the game after reverting to their usual 4-4-2. The change paid instant

dividends as Ryan Hughes played a neat one-two with Jack Jarvis on the edge of the box before slotting home Cardiff’s opener. Ten minutes in and Cardiff were unlucky not to be level when Hughes drew a good save from the oppostion’s ‘keeper and Ashley Manning fired the rebound wide. Cardiff continued to press, with the busy Hughes guilty of a glaring miss after being played in by strike partner Asare. A swift counter attack saw winger Hogan strike the post with a placed effort; Cardiff deserved to be level. Fortunately, they were rewarded with 70 minutes on the clock when captain Jamie Gallagher stormed forward from right back, broke through a tackle and fired home the equaliser. The momentum was undoubtedly with Cardiff but they suffered a setback when Manning was harshly sent off for a second bookable offence. Undeterred, Cardiff set about scoring the winner and completed a dramatic comeback when the hardworking Asare netted from substitute D’Souza’s clever through ball. With five minutes left, the team concentrated on defending their lead but were given a late scare when a UWE substitute fired wide when clean through on goal. Eventually, the final whistle was blown giving Cardiff an opening day victory which their performance truly merited.

Cardiff Firsts lose 12-0

MEANWHILE, the Cardiff football firsts slumped to a demoralising 12-0 defeat against Hartbury Firsts last week. According to a squad member, Cardiff were completely outplayed by their opponents. The player added that Hartbury were fit and well drilled throughout proceedings. When Cardiff made a mistake, the hosts ruthlessly capitalised on errors and turned their supe-

riority into goals. Despite the excellent display by Hartbury, the unnamed player also admitted that Cardiff did not perform at the best of their ability. Following this unforgettable reverse on the road, the Cardiff players probably reflected on what might have been. Nevertheless, Hartbury were a very strong side and Cardiff might not have to play too many sides of their standard this season.

PURE PACE: Lightning speed is key

Thirteen miles of madness Rob Cook reflects on his long journey through Cardiff and what it takes to run a half-marathon AN ESTIMATED 9,200 people took part in the fifth annual Cardiff marathon and half-marathon on Sunday October 15. This staggering turnout broke all previous entrance records and raised around £450,000 for charity. I had never run in an organised event prior to the half marathon but with such an event practically on my doorstep I thought it would be a shame to miss it. So I got my act together back in September and registered on the marathon website. This turned out to be a major boon for my personal fitness as it spurred me into sticking to a strict fitness regimen- primarily consisting of many a lap around Roath Park Lake, but also mixed with other things like swimming. My preparation was hampered by a particularly nasty cold and a run threatening knee strain (I was still wearing a knee support on the day of thee race) but as I was going through my final preparations the night before (eating lots of pasta) I was feeling pretty optimistic about my fitness and hoped for a good run. A total of 7,200 half marathon runners, me included, as well as 2,000 marathon runners shuffled into a packed St Mary’s Street on a misty autumnal morning and limbered up in anticipation for a 9 o’clock start. This time quickly arrived, (the race was started by Lord Mayor Councillor Gareth Neale) sending us off towards Cardiff Bay and eventually across the

barrage which was quite a panorama: thousands of runners made their way across as the early morning mist mingled with ocean spray. Other memorable sights of the race included seeing thousands of bottles of water and Lucozade being handed out, tentatively sipped and discarded in a space of minutes. I will also never forget running through the grounds of Cardiff Castle during the final mile and the scene inside the Millennium Stadium while runners finished by completing a lap of the pitch. Everyone who reached the finish line were swiftly wrapped in a foil blanket and issued with a very lovely, dragon embossed medal. Commendations should go to the organisers: Barnado’s in conjunction with Cardiff council and the South Wales Echo for a thoroughly well organised event. Also I would encourage anyone interested in running next year to do so as I found it a very rewarding and enjoyable experience. I finished the race in 2 hours and 14 minutes. I’m not sure if this was any good but I’m keen to run again in the future and perhaps improve on my time or even go for the full marathon. In fact, the London Marathon is not too far away. Anybody interested in taking up this challenge can enter now. The event, which is sponsored by Flora, takes place on April 22. So with six months to go, now is the time to start training.

DELIGHT: Rob Cook celebrates

42 gairrhydd

SPORT

OCTOBER.23.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

PHOTO: James Perou

Win Lose Charlene Hellsten Basketball Reporter

CARDIFF Womens’ 1sts..........105

WINCHESTER Womens’ 1sts......9

CARDIFF WOMENS’ Basketball began the season with a comfortable win over newly promoted Winchester. Their disciplined approach to the game from the tip-off suggests potential for success for the rest of the season under a new coach, while new players have boosted the squad. With fast breaks and three point shooting from captain Emma Gough and Sakiko Katiai, Winchester’s defence was stretched to the three point line, leaving Cecilia Savio and Charlene Hellsten to dominate the rebounds in offence. Continuous rotation of players from the bench to the court was evidence of the fast pace played by both sides. Winchester kept their heads high and continued to battle until the end, yet they couldn’t stop the home side from racking up the points. Next week sees an away match to Bristol where the players will look to continue their win.

Down the drain Lizzy Hawes Hockey Reporter

Star ting Point

Bridging The Gap two successive short corners. But Cardiff were unable to capitalise on these opportunities. With the score line goalless at half CARDIFF Mens’ 1sts..................0 time, the Cardiff team were confident BRUNEL Mens’ 1sts...................3 that they could earn their first points of the BUSA season. It was not to be, AFTER PRE-SEASON victories over as Brunel raised their game and scored UWIC and UWE, the men’s first two goals in the space of five minutes, team travelled to Brunel, London both from short corners. Cardiff’s team spirit never faltered, for their first fixture in the top and the away team were desperate to flight of University Hockey. Traditionally, the promoted teams get back in the game. The best chance have struggled in the Premiership and of the match came from a penalty corhave only lasted a single year. ner, as Duncan Courtney threaded a However, the Cardiff team are confi- ball to the far post. Tom Nicholas was charging dent that they can lay the statistics to towards the back post and saw the ball rest. Cardiff started well, playing some speed past, just inches past his stick. exceptional hockey, surprising the As the visitors pressed forward, home side with their movement and Brunel scored a third with a fast slick passing patterns, though despite breakaway and a spectacular finish, this early possession, Cardiff failed to killing off the late comeback. Despite the defeat, Cardiff captain threaten the Brunel goalkeeper. With the lack of Cardiff penetra- Paul Hayes remained positive “We tion, Brunel grew stronger and began have learnt a lesson today. In this to dominate the game. They pressed league, we have to take our chances forward in numbers and forced sever- and be clinical when we win short coral saves from the travelling ‘keeper ners. But we can take a lot of positives Ian Ferguson. Man of the Match Dai McGahon and his central defensive from this match. We were stepping partner Antony Gough were superb into the unknown and played some throughout and Cardiff weathered the fantastic hockey. With a performance like that, I believe we will cause a few storm. Striker Nick Gough began to see upsets this year and stay clear of a relmore of the ball, thanks to substitute egation battle”. Cardiff host Bath next Wednesday John Philips who had an impressive BUSA debut. It was Gough who in a match that threatens to be an caused most of the problems and won explosive encounter at Talybont.e w

Paul Hayes Hockey Reporter

CARDIFF Womens’ 1sts.............3

BATH Womens’ 2nds..................2

CARDIFF WOMENS’ Hockey 1st XI travelled away to Bath for their first BUSA match of the season against Bath Ladies 2nd XI. Cardiff started strongly and within minutes had won themselves a shortcorner. A rebound from Sophie Blair’s strike saw Angharad Griffiths score on her debut for Cardiff. Great composure from Clare Davis with a superb run from 25 yards out saw Donna McCormick slot away Cardiff’s second goal shortly after. Cardiff dominated throughout the first half with the home team seeing very little of the Cardiff goal. Just before the half time whistle Sophie Blair gave Cardiff a three goal advantage with a reverse strike into the bottom right hand corner. Bath started strongly after the break and a complacent Cardiff saw their lead reduced to one goal; conceding two goals in as many minutes. Strong defending by Nat Blythe helped Cardiff regain their composure and secure control of the situation. Some good individual skills from man of the match Griffiths saw her beat the Bath ‘keeper to extend Cardiff’s lead once more. The win was completed as Tamara Fateh passed to Donna McCormick who deflected it in for her second. It was a convincing win from Cardiff and a promising start for a team searching for promotion after narrowly missing out on it last season.

WOMEN: Deadlock Scott D’Arcy Football Reporter CARDIFF Womens’ 1sts..............1 GLOUCESTER Womens’ 1sts.......1 IN PERFECT footballing weather, Cardiff started their BUSA campaign hoping to build on last season’s sucesses. They started the game slowly, as their opponents Gloucester imposed themselves with a few strong tackles and some good passing moves. Gloucester’s labour bore its fruit early as their tall striker scored with a fine lob from 20 yards after just five minutes, as the Cardiff back four struggled with the movement of Gloucester’s playmaker. The home side looked sharper up front however, as the tireless Alex Joannides chased every ball. Gloucester looked set to dominate the match with good work from both wingers and their sharp striker, who was served with several delicious through balls; a one on one with Cardiff ‘keeper, Ruth Smith, saw the ball being fired wide as the goal loomed. However, Cardiff rode the early storm and started to assert themselves

on the home turf, with their passing and movement improving. Emma Jones started pulling the strings in the centre of midfield and the oppostion struggled to contain her, while Cardiff’s wingers stretched Gloucester’s midfield, allowing Cardiff to create a series of chances late in the first half. Following the restart, the game evened out and the battle was concentrated in the midfield. Gloucester started to press, hardly giving Cardiff time on the ball, and it needed two excellent last ditch sliding challenges by Miki Burdus, to prevent Gloucester scoring again. This made Cardiff more determined and Jones again started to lead her team on, winning a free kick just outside the box with ten minutes to go. Her shot was powerfully driven towards goal, and took a slight deflection as it looped its way in to give Cardiff a deserved goal. Both sides had chances to steal the win towards the end; the home side managed to avoid conceding in a late goal mouth scramble. It was a hard fought point for Cardiff, but the performance deserved more, as their coach admitted afterwards, saying “It was a gritty display and a superb comeback, although we need to take our chances.”

ROWING: Just warming up

Moving On Up James Sexton Rowing Reporter CARDIFF UNIVERSITY Rowing Club has had a spectacular first month of achievement and progression giving its athletes great cause for optimism for the coming year. Last weekend, 4 CURC Athletes travelled to London to compete in the Pair’s Head of the river race on the Thames in a gruelling and challenging race with nearly 400 other crews. Andy Haines and Laurence Birdsey in the men’s double event raced hard and with determination, earning them a spectacular third place in their division.

Similarly, the women’s pair of Lucy Alanson-Baliey and Christine Binns, following their previous Gold at Monmouth Head, performed well by taking a solid 6th place. After a summer of hard work, tough training and good PR, the club has never looked so good. David Burton, Head Men’s Coach laid out is plans for the year. ‘It’s simple’, he said, ‘with determined athletes, good funding, a brand new men’s 8 and an ethos of wanting nothing less than the best, this year has the foundations to match the excellence achieved by the club in the late 90’s’. For more information on the club and all of its race information visit www.cardiffuniversityrowing.com.

gairrhydd

SPORT

OCTOBER.23.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

KICKS FLY BY

Ex-ecuted Angharad Jones Rugby Reporter CARDIFF Womens’ 1sts.......... 32 EXETER Womens’ 1sts...............7

PHOTO: James Perou Daniel Ryan Rugby Reporter CARDIFF Mens’ 1sts............... 22 UWIC Mens’ 1sts.....................29 CARDIFF FIRSTS were dealt an early blow to their Premiership campaign, suffering a bitter home defeat to fierce rivals UWIC. Poor goal kicking left the first XI on the wrong end of a 22-29 result in the local derby. A good crowd gathered to watch Cardiff kick off their 2006/07 season at Llanrumney Playing Fields, with the team looking to build on last season’s success. The match began evenly with good spells of open play, however Cardiff became consistently over-powered in the scrum. UWIC drew first blood with

RUGBY: Robbed a 15 meter drive across the line, which was successfully converted. Cardiff were quick to respond; a big tackle from center Jonathan Hill on the UWIC fullback allowed the Cardiff pack to go over, putting points on the board. A penalty kick from UWIC stretched the visitor’s lead while Cardiff’s kickers struggled to hit the target, missing numerous opportunities to decrease the deficit. Cardiff came out for the second half all guns blazing; winger John Walder showed impressive pace breaking the UWIC line to score emphatically beneath the posts. This time, Michael Shropfer’s kick was good, giving Cardiff the upper hand for the first time. Hill then ran in another five points, and saw his try converted again. Despite leading, Cardiff seemed to lose their momentum sustaining long

periods of pressure with the backs putting in tackle upon tackle to deny UWIC; Walder again showed his speed to bring down his UWIC counterpart meters from the line. The valiant Cardiff defence was finally broken with 17 minutes to play, as the UWIC forwards bundled the ball in for a converted try. With the score at 19 - 15 to the hosts, the UWIC players began to lose their discipline, causing a string of several off-the-ball incidents, resulting in a yellow card on 26 minutes for flanker Stefan Taricska. Cardiff failed to capitalize on the advantage with more missed kicks and were caught off guard allowing UWIC to take the lead with a converted try. The home side were overwhelmed once more by UWIC’s pack with a driven try on 75 minutes after trying to break away, sealing the result. A last ditch drop goal from Shropfer

softened the blow, however Cardiff will have been taught a tough lesson in Premier League rugby. Head of Rugby Martyn Fowler was proud of his team’s performance, but commented, “We just lost our composure and got carried away with about 20 minutes to go - we were by far the better team throughout. We can’t afford to miss 4 kicks in front of the posts; it makes a difference in close games. Cardiff face more strong opposition next week as they travel to Hartpury,, who will be confident after a 7-41 victory at Exeter, though Fowler said, “If we go into the game with the same passion and are a little more streetwise, we could get a good result.”

Cardiff Womens’ Rugby team successfully defeated Exeter 32-7 in their first BUSA match of the season. After Exeter’s success in the league last season, Cardiff were apprehensive before the game and were determined to start the year with a home win. A frustrating first half saw Cardiff play most of their rugby in the opponents half. However, handling errors meant they were unable to capitalise on their territory and the score at half time was 0-0. Cardiff came out strongly after the interval and their efforts were rewarded with a 55th minute try from Eleri Davies. However, this hard work was undone just minutes later when a speedy Exeter winger crossed the tryline to level the scores. The try was converted and Exeter took the lead 7-5. Cardiff remained optimistic and good communication between the players meant they didn’t remain behind for long. On 65, captain Simone Shephard powered through Exeter’s defence to put Cardiff back in the lead. Confidence was high and in the following 15 minutes tries were scored by Kat Lenan, Ceri Hill and Melanie Burge, the last of which was converted by Shephard. Shortly before the full time whistle, Hill registered her second try of the match, giving Cardiff an impressive 32-7 victory. Excellent BUSA debuts were made by five of Cardiff’s new players. Forward of the match went to fresher Becky Blakeway and Back of the match went to two-try Hill.

Jack Zorab Rugby Reporter CARDIFF Medics 2nds..............36 Trinity 1sts...............................14 Cardiff Medics second XV kicked off the season in fine form with a hard fought 36-14 defeat of Trinity College Carmathen. The conditions were perfect for running rugby and Cardiff’s endeavour with the ball in hand started to pay dividends as the match wore on with Mowbray and Volley finding holes with strong running and elusive footwork. From the start it was a different story though, as Carmathen’s big forwards bundled over in the right hand corner five minutes in, with good pres-

sure on Cardiff’s line forcing not only a 5 pointer but seeing the referee send Raider to the sin-bin for deliberately slowing the ball down. One man down sparked Cardiff into life as fly-half Wallis settled the side down and helped take control of the first half, with his kicking out of hand directing the bigger and less mobile Carmathen pack around the park. The forwards won good quick ball with some aggressive rucking and clean linouts resulting in the field position from which Volley and then Wallis ran in tries under the sticks. Carmathen went over for an unconverted try and Cardiff kicked penalty to make the score 17-10 at the break. The second half started physically, both sides trying gain the early advantage. Technically sound and strong tackling from Cardiff prevented a tiring Carmathen playing their ‘bash em’

up’ front game as their ace card backfired allowing Cardiff to push the corners and find the field postion from which to wield the decisive moment of the match from a set piece move. Mowbray again sliced though the midfield before managing to slip the ball to Wallis, who touched down to open up a 14 point gap. Cardiff continued to accelerate away, scoring two quick tries through the fresh legs and aggression of the substitutes. Two minutes later and Carmathen’s No.8 got sent off for stamping and it looked like Cardiff might rack up a half ton. However this wasn’t to be, as Carmathen were galvanized by the loss of their captain and played some tidy rugby to score two consolation tries in the last ten minutes. Lampeter are up next for the Medics, who will hope to continue their first game form.

HOTO: James Perou

Medics inject speed

WALDER: Tree trunks

gairrhydd

Sport

INSIDE: The Full IMG Breakfast after week one, plus reports right across the BUSA spectrum Lawesome Cemlyn Davies Football Reporter LAW A...................................18 Uni Hallstars..........................0

WELSH DOUBLE CARDIFF Womens’ 1sts...........38 UWIC Womens’ 1sts................31 Netball firsts and seconds are the star performers in a mixed week of BUSA sport Joanna Dingle Netball Reporter

CARDIFF NETBALL firsts made a dream start to the season, overcoming UWIC to win 38-31 in a hard fought, fast paced match at Talybont. The win capped off a successful day for the Netball club, with the second team completing a double over Welsh opposition, beating Swansea 26 - 41 away from home. UWIC had first centre pass, but Cardiff intercepted it almost straight away stealing back their opposition’s advantage, swiftly moving the ball down the court to score.

Although the match started confidently, the atmosphere was tense. With both teams striving for a good win against their closest rivals, the hype surrounding the match had been built up for days, and nerves were high. New additions to the team, goal attack Carly Allchurch and goal shooter Sophie Vaughn worked well together, shooting accurately and moving well, and when time was called after the first 15 minutes, the girls finished the quarter one goal ahead, at 8 - 7. The second quarter saw the Cardiff girls gaining on their opponents, and after half an hour, they had a four goal advantage. Although UWIC were strong in attack, Cardiff’s defence was stronger, with Sam Lyons, Becky

Oatley and Kirsty Smith working confidently and gelling as a unit. After half time, with the score 18-14 in Cardiff’s favour, changes had been made to the team, with Kylie Painter taking position as centre, and Jo Allchurch coming on as wing attack. Carys Jenkins moved back to wing defence, to replace Kirsty Smith, who had a strong first half. In the third quarter, Cardiff’s form dipped slightly, and UWIC started coming back, decreasing the goal difference. Uncannily similar to previous meetings, where UWIC had pulled away to win, this time it was Cardiff’s chance to prove themselves, and they stayed on top. In her first match for the team, Kylie

Painter was dynamic as wing attack, showing off her potential, and driving confidently towards the ball. The last quarter was very intense, with both sides wanting to get the upper hand. However Cardiff’s determination and teamwork shone through, and they emerged victorious, gaining a fantastic win for the team and the club at such an early stage in the season. Becky Oatley, Vice Captain said: “In our first match of the season, we really seem to have come out and proved our potential from the start. It felt really good to beat our local rivals. Hopefully our form will continue in our next match – we have a tough away fixture at Brunel.”

FORMER IMG Football Champions Law A scored an emphatic 18 goals against newcomers Uni Hallstars, on the opening day of this year’s competition. Law A, who last won the coveted title in 2005, sent out a clear and resounding message to all their fellow title contenders. The 18-0 score by no means flattered the Lawyers, but rather offered an accurate reflection of a match which they dominated from the kick-off to the final whistle. Chris Day, one of seven goalscorers for Law on the day, netted the first of his five goals within the first 15 minutes and by half-time further goals from Day, Mark Smith and winger Steffan Williams, had given Law a comfortable 9-0 lead. The Uni Hallstars rearguard failed to contain the attacking threat posed by Day, Williams, Smith and Mike Godwin throughout, while their forwards rarely troubled the wellorganised Law backline. Law’s new goalkeeper, Dafydd Edwards, had only the occasional misplaced backpass to deal with. In the second half Law picked up where they left off as both central midfielders Rhys Farrow and vicecaptain Adam McKenna grabbed three well-deserved goals between them; Farrow converted his second with a rocket from outside the box. Godwin finally beat the goalkeeper and went on to score a hat trick of spectacular goals that his industrious wing play had warranted. Rhys Davies, one of Law’s solid centre backs also got in on the act with a delicate header from a Steffan Williams flick-on. To their credit Uni Hallstars never gave up and kept battling away for the whole ninety minutes. If they continue to play in this way they will surely grab points against the league’s lesser sides. However, this game was all about Law A announcing their arrival on this season’s IMG stage and if they continue to play in this manner, they will doubtless be challenging for the title at the end of the season. Meanwhile, fellow lawyers Law B made an equally impressive start with a 7 - 1 victory over newcomers TWNN.

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