gair rhydd - Issue 825

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Student is “lucky to be alive” after being r un over by a train

Wrong side of the tracks Katie Kennedy News Editor A CARDIFF STUDENT has narrowly escaped death after being struck by a train while walking along the Cathays railway track.

The 18-year-old man who attends the university is still recovering after the accident in which he was lucky to escape with his life.

The incident happened late in the evening on Saturday October 14 when an Arriva train heading to Aberdare hit

the student.

The train driver immediately called the emergency services and reported striking a person from behind, who was walking next to the tracks just north of Cathays station.

The train driver sounded his horn and applied his brake to try to avoid the student.

Inspector James Hartson of the police transport division said: “British Transport Police were deployed immediately and arrived at the scene within a few minutes. All trains were ordered

to stop whilst emergency workers were on scene.

“The casualty was rendered unconscious after being struck and the train came to a stop over him. The passengers on the train were escorted off by police.”

The ambulance and fire services then arrived at the scene to safely remove the casualty from under the train and to provide first aid. He was then taken to hospital.

The student suffered multiple wounds including head, neck and chest

injuries and he lost three toes on his right foot. The Inspector however, thought these were minor injuries compared to what could have happened.

He said: “Despite these injuries, the casualty is very lucky not to have lost his life.

“The slow speed of the train and the fact that the casualty was struck a ‘glancing’ blow, as opposed to a full impact collision, are the reasons why he was not killed.”

Story Continues on Page 4

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October 30 2006 News Editorial & Opinion Letters Politics Taf-Od Features Media Jobs & Money Health Science/Environment Television Problem Page Five Minute Fun Grab Listings Sport

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EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley, Jon Berridge LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV Grace, TV John, TV Neil, TV Jane LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD Huw Pritchard SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MIN FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITOR James Perou PROOF READERS Kieran Harwood, Aisling Tempany, Andy Rennison, Alys Jones, Eleanor Morrey, Beth Herdman. Jenna Weeks, Sarah Murrey, Rachel Greenwood CONTRIBUTORS James Stileman, Samantha Shillabeer, Holly Bassett, Jessica Hart, Abigail Whittaker, Katy Gorman, Laura Biscoe, Emma Jones, Karen Eeuwens, Sabastian Cooke, Corinne Rhoades, Kate Garner, Victoria Lane, Steve Myerscough, Rachel Clare, James Templeton, Chris Croissant, Tim Hewish, Marianne Fisher, Sarah Vine, George Pawley, Angharad Jones, Ed Pitchforth, Andy Wylde, Jemima Bardnes, Scott D’Arcy, Iwan Jones ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

OPEN TO ALL Disadvantaged students to be offered Uni places despite having lower grades Samantha Shillabeer Reporter A GOVERNMENT commissioned study is urging universities to lower entry requirements for applicants from “disadvantaged” backgrounds.

Admissions tutors are being encouraged to drop entry requirements by up to two A Level grades following the release of UCAS figures showing that 5,400 fewer students from “lower-income backgrounds” had started university this year.

These findings follow from a government survey carried out in 2003, which highlighted that middle class pupils “were over five times more likely to enter higher education” than those from lower social

PHOTO: ALETTA ANDRE

a glance

Holly Bassett Reporter

Cleaner Cardiff

Jessica Hart Reporter A NEW ENVIRONMENTAL project is inviting students to get active in litter picking as part of the Keep Cardiff Tidy initiative.

Keep Cardiff Tidy is an initiative run in partnership between the Students’ Union and the City Council and campaigns on issues from recycling to rubbish. Since its launch in 2002 the campaign has succeeded in reducing litter by 20% and increasing city centre recycling by 60%.

Keep Cardiff Tidy aims to change people’s attitudes towards recycling and to encourage them to deal with their rubbish responsibly.

The event on Wednesday gave the Students’ Union a chance to highlight the contribution made by students to the community and also gave many of the volunteers a chance to do paid campaign work for the Union in the near future. With this attitude prevailing, hopefully we can all look forward to a “cleaner, greener Cardiff.”

classes.

The proposed scheme aims to help pupils in care, those attending poorly-performing schools, those who suffer from long-term disability or illness and those who look after sick relatives.

The publication said that universities should collaborate with each other to ensure that more “deprived children” enter the top universities.

They are also being asked to highlight on their websites the possibility of being lenient with entry requirements.

A conductor of the study praised universities that choose pupils on the basis of their potential, even if their grades are lower than the usual requirements.

“We know of heavily oversubscribed courses where admissions

tutors have made offers of an A and two Bs to applicants in disadvantaged circumstances, while rejecting other applicants with three predicted As.” “Admissions tutors preparing to do this have our strong support.

But many universities seem unwilling to put the scheme into practice.

Geoff Parks, director of admissions at Cambridge: “There needs to be a very large disadvantage to make it a B rather than an A. It would be very difficult to make those adjustments.”

There is also a fear that students being rejected with higher grades, while others are being given lower offers, could mount legal challenges against the university.

Vocation, vocation Abigail Whittaker Reporter A UCAS publication containing this year’s figures for degree scheme acceptances shows a 4.5% fall in the number of first-year undergraduates.

But since the introduction of tuition fees almost a decade ago, there have also been indications of a move towards more vocational subjects.

The current number one subject is Law, offering a sound financial return on your student fees. This is closely followed by Design Studies with its vocational opportunities and Psychology, helped along by its growing popularity at A-level.

Next are the solid, career-related options, including: Management Studies, Business Studies and Computer Science. English, the sole non-vocational, traditional academic subject in the top 10 takes seventh place. And the three remaining slots are filled by Medicine, Sports Science and social work, all with clear postgraduation career paths.

In 1996, two other traditional, academic subjects also featured; History in seventh place and Biology

in ninth. A decade on, Biology has now plummeted to 30th. In contrast, Media Studies recruits 3,000 more students today than 10 years ago.

But the biggest popularity surge is in complimentary medicine, so future graduates suffering from the stress of big debts will be able to turn for some relief to a plentiful supply of aromatherapists and reflexologists.

Students today are much more conscious of their future employment and salary options. Many more feel they should be getting a financial return on what is now an expens i v e investment in attaining a degree.

REFLEXOLOGY: Everyone wants to rub feet

INITIATED BY the Students’ Union, Cardiff University’s first year undergraduates are able to take part in an online survey to put across their views about their experience so far.

The survey is part of ‘Project Q’, a scheme run jointly by the University and the Union since December 2004.

It aims to assess the experiences and views of current and previous students as well as the expectations of the new, in the hope to improve various aspects of student life.

“The survey is an essential tool allowing students to give feedback about their student experience so far.

The University and the Union is constantly striving to enhance the student experience here at Cardiff,” said Student Union President Joe AlKhayat.

For those who complete the questionnaire, there is a chance to win up to £200 in vouchers for Blackwell’s Bookstore.

Nobel winner takes job in Cardiff Uni James Stileman Reporter PROFESSOR Dr Robert Huber, (above) joint-winner of the 1988 Nobel Prize in Chemistry, is to take on a part time position in Cardiff University’s Chemical Biology department.

The eminent German professor, who won his prize for the determination of the 3-dimensional structure of a photosynthetic reaction centre, will help spearhead the development of Structural Biology in a university-wide initiative.

A new Structural Biology Unit is being established as a joint initiative between the schools of Chemistry and Biosciences, with help from the Higher Education Funding Council Wales.

Cardiff University’s ViceChancellor Dr David Grant said: “We are delighted to make this appointment at Cardiff. Professor Huber will develop Cardiff’s capability as a leading centre of Chemical Biology research.”

Professor Huber will also contribute to teaching within undergraduate and postgraduate programmes at Cardiff University.

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University netball girls strip for charity

PHOTOS: ADAM GASSON

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Feed your pumpkin beer Katy Gorman Reporter BBC RADIO 2 gardener, Terry Walton, grew a pumpkin that was so large, it needed three policemen and three firemen to lift it from the ground.

Walton claims his secret was to feed it three pints of beer daily, adding up to more than two barrels of ale.

The pumpkin has been donated to Ysgol Hen Felin in Ystrad, a school for children with disabilities, in order to raise funds for th installation of a guided mobility system.

The school is running a ‘guess the weight’ competition and anyone who wants to enter can send a donation cheque to the school with their guess and contact details written on the back.

Phew, what a scorer!

CARDIFF UNIVERSITY netball team members have bared (nearly) all for a calendar in aid of Cancer Research UK. The calendar includes pictures of members from all of the netball teams and will be sold for four pounds around the university.

The team hope to raise over £2500 and all proceeds will go to charity.

Carys Jenkins, club captain, expressed the team’s support for charities helping to find a cure for breast

Katy Kennedy News Editor A STUDENT who reported his car stolen to the police found it around the corner from where it went “missing”.

Aled Williams, a fourth year Royal College of Music student, thought his car had been taken from Lisbane Street in Cathays, but he had, in fact, forgotton that he had parked it around the corner on Birthdir Street.

He found his car last week after he had filed his insurance claim and sent off his keys.

The police were said to have laughed and told him not to do it again.

PHOTO: ADAM GASSON

Dude, where’s my car?

cancer.

She said: “Breast cancer is a disease that will affect everyone’s lives at some point. Research into the diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer is ever improving; this is why financial support to charities such as Cancer Research UK is so important.

“The idea came from firstly the universal appeal of a calendar of this sort, secondly the enjoyment of creating such a calendar and thirdly raising funds for a good cause.”

Students go down

Lee Macaulay Reporter CARDIFF STUDENTS went over the top on Friday, raising almost £1500 with a sponsored abseil down the back of the 60ft Students' Union building.

The money raised will be used to transport 600+ students to the NUS Admission: Impossible demonstration in London on Sunday.

Thirty students conquered the abseil from the top of the fivestory building out onto Senghenydd Road as Cardiff University Big Band played their rendition of the Mission: Impossible theme tune.

The abseil is in aid of NUS Admission: Impossible when thousands of students will march on London to protest against the

introduction and plans for a removal of capped tuition fees.

President of the Students' Union, Joe Al-Khayat said, "Cardiff's students are calling on politicians here in Cardiff and in Westminster to stop their unfair and short-sighted policies.

“Some of our students will already be leaving with over £30,000 worth of debt. If Universities are allowed to charge thousands more, lots more intelligent, capable young people will be put off studying as they simply can't afford it."

Last year, the Students' Union ran the 'Duck Off Fees' campaign calling for the Welsh Assembly to prevent top up fees in Wales and gained a small victory last month when it was announced the Welsh Assembly plans to extend tuition fee grants to all English students for another year.

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Gassy-ed Out Student pub evacuated amidst fears that leaked petrol might ignite Adam Millward News Editor A CATHAYS ROAD and a popular student pub were evacuated last Wednesday due to fears that flammable liquid in the drains might cause an explosion.

Thesiger Street, home to many university students was evacuated at around 7pm. Mim McCulloch, a second-year studying English Literature was one student temporarily evicted.

She said: “The fire engines and

police cars all came, and when we asked what was going on, they told us that there was something like petrol in our drains and sewers.

“At about 7pm, they told us we were all going to have to be evacuated for two or three hours, and that we couldn’t turn on any of the lights.

“In theory, the whole street could have exploded.”

McCulloch and her housemates decided to make the most of their disturbed evening by going to the popular student bar, Gassy Jacks, on Salisbury Road.

On their way, they noticed “a smell of petrol”.

However, shortly after ordering food, the group was disturbed once again.

McCulloch said: “While we were there, [Gassy Jacks] was evacuated, because the toilets are underground and that was thought to be dangerous.

“The police were calm at first and said we could finish our dinner, but then things began to get more tense and we were evacuated quickly.”

Police-officers on the scene were

Laura Biscoe Reporter

CONCERN OVER STDS is the highest it has been in the last 10 years.

Anyone sexually active can be at risk from STDs. Some diseases have symptoms but others such as Chlamydia can frequently carry no symptoms.

Levels of genital Chlamydia have risen massively, by 508% in teenage boys and 238% in girls.

Chlamydia is the most common treatable STD and can cause serious problems, including infertility if not treated.

Possible symptoms in women are: vaginal discharge; a need to pass urine more often; pain passing urine; lower abdominal pain; pain during sex; and irregular menstrual bleeding.

Symptoms of infection in men, if any, may include pain and/or burning sensation when passing urine or a discharge from the penis which may be white/cloudy and watery.

A course of antibiotics is given once diagnosed and treatment is effective.

If you think you may be at risk, it is advisable to have a sexual health check up at your local GUM clinic situated in Cardiff Royal Infirmary.

TIME: Police evacuate pub

PHOTO: ALETTA ANDRE

STDs on the rise... by up to 508%

unsure of details, as firefighters were making ‘checks’, but one policewoman believed that someone had poured “a copious amount of diesel” into the drainage system.

This theory has not been confirmed.

South Wales Police said: “Following investigations… it would appear that flammable liquid may (have been) present in a drain in the street.

“Enquiries are ongoing as to the cause of the incident, but the public can be reassured that the area has been deemed safe.”

RECYCLE: Good for the environment, bad for the pocket?

Green man in the red Jessica Hart Reporter A YOUNG MAN from Swansea has been fined £200 due to a recycling mistake.

A single scrap of paper was found in the bag he was using to recycle glass and tins meaning he now has a criminal record.

After volunteering to take part in a

recycling scheme launched by Swansea Council, Mr Reeves thought he was doing his bit towards a better future for his hometown.

The case has provoked widespread anger and, due to the already complicated rules governing how you should dispose of your rubbish, environmentalists fear this will put people off recycling for good.

Wrong side of the tracks Continued from front “I have dealt with several fatalities on the railway, and almost each time a person is struck by a train, at whatever speed, the person is killed instantly.

“I therefore would describe this young man’s survival as nothing short of miraculous.

“I have been a police officer for 17 years, and without doubt, rail fatalities are among the most horrific and difficult situations to deal with, for all concerned, i.e. the train driver, any other witnesses, the casualty’s family, and the emergency services who attend.”

Why the student was on the tracks has yet to be established, and it is not yet known if he was under the influence of alcohol.

The Inspector continued: “The evidence in this particular case suggests that this was an accident due to trespass. Trespass on the railway is dangerous and obstructive, which is why

Taking home the bacon Emma Jones Reporter A FOREST CAFÉ in Wales has the best bacon sarnies in Britain, according to a recent survey.

The BMW 1 Series Good Food

Parliament has made it a criminal offence.

“Rail accidents due to trespass are entirely avoidable, which makes them all the more tragic. Trespass is a highly dangerous and irresponsible thing to do, no different really to playing on a motorway at night.”

In 2005, 71 people were killed on the railway due to trespassing and the majority were young people playing on the tracks, or using the railway as a shortcut.

The Inspector emphasised that a train travelling on a normal line takes between one and two miles to stop, and will cover 200 metres in seven seconds. A person of normal hearing does not hear a train until it is about five seconds away.

His final warning to students was simple: “The BTP message is clear – don’t become a statistic, keep off the tracks.”

The voice of gair rhydd - page 8 Ride lists 101 great eateries in the UK that may seem obscure to travellers.

One Planet Adventure in Llandegla, Denbighshire, which was one of nine Welsh entries, scored the mention for their outstanding breakfast butties, which are made from local produce. Ian Owen, who set up the centre last year said bacon sandwiches were the best-selling item.

One regular described eating the sandwich as “mystical”.

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PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

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SHOEBOX: Fill one up with nice things

Send a shoebox

Drug dangers Karen Eeuwens Reporter DOCTORS IN CARDIFF have issued warnings about the dangers of cocaine, as the number of people suffering side effects from the drug appears to be on the rise.

Rupert Evans, Accident and Emergency consultant at the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff, reported to BBC Wales that adverse reactions caused by cocaine were becoming increasingly common among patients.

Use of the drug has increased fourfold across England and Wales in the past decade. In addition, statistics indicate that 5% of adults in Wales have tried cocaine – more than the UK average.

One user claims this is due to the low cost and wide availability of the drug. They said: “It was always very expensive, that’s what put people off.

But nowadays you can get a gram of coke for about £35.”

But Dr Evans insists that everything comes at a price. He said: “The effects on the heart are very serious. You get pulse increases, your blood pressure goes up very high – to the extent that it can put you at risk of having a heart attack.”

The university’s local bank?

Katie Kennedy News Editor POPULAR student bank HSBC is to close down its branch on Park Place in two months.

The branch is a favourite student choice for banking due to its close proximity near to the Cardiff University buildings and the union.

One student, who specifically opened an account with HSBC due to its location, expressed her unhappiness with the bank’s decision. The first-year student, who asked not to be named, said:

“I chose HSBC as I thought it would be best to have a bank that was really close to Uni. Now it is closing, and I am not very happy.”

Another student, in their third year studying Philosophy, added: “I went in and remarked that the branch was closing. It was quite a surprise. And the staff member that was serving me didn't seem too happy about it either. It's a real inconvenience.”

A HSBC spokeswoman defended the closure. She said: “The branch closure on Park Place is a part of an investment plan for all of the branches in Cardiff.

“A new branch will be opening on Churchill Way, not too far from the university, due to open at the end of November.

“The branch will be much bigger and on the first floor there will be a dedicated student team with counsellors and advisors.”

All staff at the Park Place branch will be relocated.

There are also major developments happening in the Queen Street branch as there is to be a shift to more technological banking.

The voice of gair rhydd - page 8

HSBC: Closure at Christmas

Marching for equality Kate Garner Reporter

SOCIALISTS: Protesting for equal pay

STUDENTS CAMPAIGNING for a decent wage for all young people marched through Cardiff last Saturday.

Cardiff University Socialist Students held a Day of Action to highlight the age discrimination that leads young people to be paid as little as £3.00 per hour, much less than the minimum adult wage.

A group of 25 Socialist Students marched from the eastern end of Queen Street to outside Sainsbury’s, ending the march with the unfurling of a giant banner hung from the NCP car park opposite.

The banner “named and shamed” the employers along Queen Street that give their employees the worst treatment, rights, and, most importantly, pay. JJB Sports and Macdonalds were among the five companies displayed.

The students also visited over 20 shops on Queen Street to hand out “Know Your Rights” cards, informing shop workers of their legal entitlements at work and containing advice about how to join a trade union.

Alex Gounelas, one of the organisers of the Day of Action, said that it

was a great success.

She said: “We achieved what we aimed to do, which was to highlight the rights of young people at work.

Many workers were simply unaware of what they are entitled to by law, such as a 10-minute break every four hours.”

New age employment laws brought in recently seem to encourage age discrimination, entitling 21-year-old workers to much less pay than 22-yearolds.

This particularly affects students, who often hold down part-time jobs to fund their studies.

A Cardiff student who works parttime as a barmaid expressed her frustration at only earning £4.25 as she is 21, rather than the £5.05 paid to workers over 22 in her place of work.

She said: “I do exactly the same job as everyone else, but for less pay. It’s really unfair.”

She will have finished university before she is entitled to the higher pay rate.

With age determining a pay cut by nearly one pound per hour in some cases, the Socialist Students campaign for “Equal Pay, No Age Restriction!” is attempting to highlight the inequality many students are suffering.

Sebastian Cooke Reporter

THE SAMARITANS are appealing to students to send shoeboxes of gifts to needy children this Christmas.

Operation Christmas Child is an appeal run by the Samaritans where they collect gift-filled shoeboxes to send to needy children in Africa and Eastern Europe to give them a happy Christmas.

The Christian Union will have a stall in the Union reception on Monday November 6 and Friday November 10 from 12 to 2 pm for people to come and take information or ask questions.

Finished boxes can be taken to the third floor of the Students’ Union Monday to Friday between 10 am and 3 pm until November 17.

Each box needs to have a cheque of two pounds payable to Samaritans Purse. More information can be found at www.samaritanspurse.uk.com/occ/.

Terrorismbusters?

Corinne Rhoades Reporter

ISLAMIC TERRORISM is to be tackled in British universities with the launch of a ‘counter-terrorism’ group.

The move to monitor extremist activity on campus comes after recent government concerns about student fundamentalism.

Established by the Association of University Chief Security Officers, the group will work in close contact with special units of the Home Office and Scotland Yard to prevent potential security threats.

Such action is thought to be vital by the Government and security services who rallied universities to spy on Muslim and ‘Asian looking’ students in a document leaked last week.

Former London Metropolitan student, and one of the men linked with the transatlantic airliner bomb plot, Waheed Zaman transpired to be president of the University’s Islamic society. This finding propelled into action intense scrutiny of suspicious and “subversive” activity in University societies.

Chairman of the group Barry Jakeman, commented: “We can no longer afford to be complacent on this issue and must get prepared.”

The move has been approved by London Metropolitan University’s imam Sheikh Musa Admani as “a positive one”. Yet it is still feared by some that Islamic societies are being unfairly scrutinised.

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Katie Kennedy News Editor A HOMELESS man has smashed windows using his head on student roads Rhymney Street and Salisbury Road.

The incident last Tuesday night caused broken windows at three houses and one take-away, after the man who suffers from mental illness had argued with some teenagers.

Two student houses had windows smashed, one into a living room, and the other into a student’s

bedroom. Sian Rebecca Owen, a third year Journalism student said: “I heard the smash and went down to see that our living-room window was smashed in. We went outside and loads of people down our street were outside looking at this man.

“He just went crazy, he’s homeless and lives down Salisbury Road with his two dogs. Next door had their window smashed too and then he went down to Salisbury Road and put his head through the kebab shop window.

“We called the police and they

came after half an hour and they arrested him for criminal damage.

Apparently some kids had been winding him up for ages and he’s got brain damage and he just went crazy.

“The police came back about five in the morning to get a statement and told us the man had to go to hospital because he’d been banging his head in the police van. I really felt sorry for him, those kids must have really upset him.”

PC Bob Keohane confirmed that the man has been arrested for criminal damage.

PHOTO: ALETTA ANDRE

Homeless man vandalises student houses after argument with teens

RHYMNEY STREET: Where it all happened

Happy 21st Burgle-day Black attack Victoria Lane Reporter

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

SATURDAY October 21 saw a burglar sink to an even lower level – to steal from a student celebrating her 21st birthday.

The robbery took place on Rhymney Street in Cathays, after the partygoers left for a night out at Come Play.

18 students, mostly third years left the terrace all at the same time, at around 10:30pm only to return to find the host had been a victim of crime.

The birthday girl came back to find the front door glass panel smashed, blood on the sofa and a rock in the

hallway, later believed to be how the glass pane was broken.

A laptop, iPod and speakers were taken from the attic bedroom, which was the only room to be unlocked and another iPod taken from the lounge, which had been left behind by a guest.

The police were called by a male friend and arrived with a forensic team to test the blood left on the sofa; it is believed the robber cut himself on the shards of glass on entry.

“It was a Saturday night, they were so busy it took them two hours to arrive.

“They did their best there is only so much they can do,” said Amy Williams, the host.

Hype over

Welsh institution set to close nine stores

Over £1000 worth of items were taken from a house that was filled with birthday banners, balloons and many cards.

Nicole Paraskeva, a housemate said: “The thought of someone being in her bedroom really freaked her out. Amy could tell that they had moved her stuff around.”

Miss Williams added: “It had been a really good night up to that point, but it completely ruined my birthday.

“I’m just so glad none of us were at home when it happened.”

To date, it has not been confirmed whether the blood matches that of a previous criminal held on the police database.

Abigail Whittaker Reporter HYPER VALUE has announced that nine of its 15 stores, most of which are in South Wales, will be closed by Christmas.

Although it has not yet been confirmed which of the bargain chain stores will be closing, there are already ‘closing down’ signs in windows of several stores throughout Wales and South England.

According to chairman, Ian Rogers, the closures are a result of trade being “below expectations in the last few years”, and will result in the loss of hundreds of jobs.

The chain’s policy of ‘stack it high and sell it cheap’ makes it popular with students, and with stores in the city centre and Cathays, it is often the first port of call for fancy dress, homeware, and cheap food.

An employee of the Cathays store, on Woodville Road, declined to give comment, but the shop has displayed notices saying it is not closing.

Confirmation of which stores are to close is expected in early November.

SWANSEA UNI: Societies in fight with Lib Dem

Andy Rennison Politics Editor A LIBERAL democrat has caused controversy within Swansea University regarding his beliefs about the risk of political extremism on campuses.

Lib Dem Assembly Member, Peter Black, has stood by comments he made in August, and now Swansea University's Student Union have called for a public retraction and apology.

Mr Black, who is a South Wales West AM and also a city councillor for Swansea, issued a press release on August 22 following on from similar comments in the Times Higher Education Supplement.

In the statement, Mr Black delivered a warning to students and universities in light of the approaching Freshers' period.

He wrote: “Both students and college authorities need to be alert to the danger of extremist groups taking advantage of this atmosphere to find new recruits.”

He added: “We should be fostering awareness so that extremists do not get a foothold.”

Though deeply involved with Swansea politics, Mr Black made no reference in his original statement to Swansea University or the Swansea Islamic society.

Last week, they and several other Swansea societies wrote a joint letter to the Welsh AM expressing their concerns. In it, they issued a request to Mr Black. They said: “In light of our concerns, we would invite you both to retract/clarify your statement and apologize for any offence caused.”

Mr Black refused. He said: “I have no intention of apologising for reasonable and considered comments, and certainly not for the misinterpretation of those remarks you are currently peddling around the media.”

He went on to state that he would meet society representatives in private only. Both sides have refused to back down.

Ash Alam of the Islamic Society said: “Peter Black's comments are arrogant and fail to address the concerns of the Muslim community.”

In a recent letter to the Evening Post, the AM reaffirmed his position, and claimed foul play. He wrote: “Somebody has been playing politics with my original press statement.”

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WORLD NEWS

OCTOBER.30.2006 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Panama Canal set to increase in size, but Nicaragua not happy

World News in brief Victoria Lane Reporter

The battle for control of the Central American waterways Steve Myerscough

Reporter PANAMA AND NICARAGUA are facing a competition to provide the best shipping route between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.

As Nicaragua unveils plans to build its own shipping canal, a national referendum in Panama has approved a plan to expand the country’s famous waterway, with building due to start in 2008.

The Panama Canal is no longer big enough to cater for the increasing size of many modern container ships. It is also unable to cope with the shear quantity of ships wanting to use the route. Traffic jams can form as container ships wait to travel the 50 miles of canal that connect the Atlantic with the Pacific Oceans.

Panama’s president, Martin Torrijos, claims that in giving the expansion the go-ahead, Panamanians have ‘laid the foundation to build a better country’.

The expansion will generate thousands of jobs and, once completed, dramatically increase the country’s income.

Some, however, are concerned that corruption within Panama will mean that the increased revenue may not find its way to those that need the money most - the estimated 50% of the population that live in poverty.

The expansion is due to be completed in 2014 and cost around £2.8billion.

Meanwhile, Nicaragua has proposed a shipping canal that could cater for ‘post-panamax’ container ships- a term used to describe ships that are too big

to fit within the Panama Canal’s locks.

An inter-oceanic canal has long been considered in Nicaragua, one of Central America’s poorest countries. In the late 19th century Nicaragua’s natural geography made it the obvious place to have a shipping route built, but it was Panama that won this battle thanks to investment from the USA, who decided against the Nicaragua canal for largely political reasons.

The proposed Inter-Oceanic Nicaragua Canal would cost £9.5billion and be finished by 2015. It would create heavy competition for the Panama Canal and could, some say, lead to Nicaragua becoming the wealthiest nation in Central America.

When finished, it would be able to handle 250,000-ton ships, in comparison to the 65,000-ton ships that the Panama Canal can currently fit within its locks. The Nicaragua canal would also cut around 500 miles off the route between East Coast America and Asia.

Flaming bonkers

BRITAIN’S FIRST virtual bonfire will take place this Guy Fawkes’ night in Devon.

2,000 people are expected to attend the show put on by Ilfracombe Rugby Club. The club has been mired in health and safety rules and have been forced to “bring Bonfire Night smack into the 21st Century” says Player Joel Cooper.

A 22ft and 15ft screen will be hung from the goalposts, which will show a film of dancing flames, and heaters will be placed nearby to add realism.

Not even a kitchen sink

The world numero UNO Rachel Clare Reporter UNO FANS broke the Guinness World Record for the largest number of people ever to play in a card tournament this week.

The crazy card game happened in Charleston, West Virginia, where three hundred and 30 people gathered to celebrate the 35th anniversary of UNO, the top card game in the United States.

They then set a new Guinness World Record for the largest card game tournament ever played, beating the old record by 10 players.

Players were selected on a firstcome, first-serve basis through an email and mail-in pre-registration processes.

Each player was then dealt a hand of seven UNO cards which they played and tried to be the first to shout “UNO!” The winners then proceeded onto the final rounds.

An adjudicator from Guinness World Records, who travelled to the celebration from England, certified the new record as official when the final round of Uno was played.

“It is amazing to see the enthusiasm people have for UNO, said Laura Jane Nieberg, adjudicator, Guinness World Records.

“I witness a lot of successful world record attempts and this is the first where hundreds of people are jumping out of their seats, yelling to be the winner.”

During the tournament, fans enjoyed UNO competitions of their own in the Mattel Games play area.

Fans lined up to play the newest addition to the UNO family, UNO Spin, a new "twist" on the popular game.

Created to celebrate 35 years of the popular card game, UNO Spin introduces new elements to the family and student favourite, with an UNO Spin wheel that features novel command elements.

The previous record had been set in Portugal with 320 card players taking part in the game of Quadrille.

This time the winner of the big game was Lucinda Kowalewski who won 2007 season tickets to the West Virginia Power games and an X-Box 360 along with several other UNO related prizes.

A GANG of criminals broke into a bank’s headquarters on a night raid only to find the place was empty.

The three Romanians expected to hit the jackpot when they robbed the Nova Bank in Constanta City centre however were unaware that the bank had been relocated for renovation work.

The robbers were seen by neighbours, however they-have not been caught.

A police spokesman said: “They couldn’t find anything to steal, not even some heating pipes they tried to remove from the walls.”

An alcoholic education RUSSIA HAS opened a new vodka museum in Moscow.

Over 50,000 bottles of the national drink are on display, with some bottles being produced over two centuries ago.

The boss, Alexander Nikishin, offers visitors 10 different types of the drink to taste.

Due to illegally distilled vodka that is sold on the black market, hundreds of Russians die each year. Alexander assures the public that none of their vodka is from illegal stills.

8

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION freewords the voice of gairrhydd

Est. 1972

What bankers THE CLOSURE OF the Park Place branch of HSBC is hugely unfortunate for the hoards of freshers who signed up to bank with them in September. Too many of them may have chosen to open an account with the chain because of its close proximity to most University buildings, thinking that they could sort out their finances between lecturers.

For many students this announcement has come too late: they have already opened an account with the bank and may feel that changing is too much of a hassle.

We must question HSBC’s intentions about announcing the closure just weeks after droves of 18-yearolds had cashed their loan cheques into their accounts. Did they know before the start of the semester that the branch would be shutting down in a matter of weeks? If they did know, why did they not disclose such information to potential customers? Sadly, we will never know these details and so will never know whether the bank deliberately withheld information that would put students off signing-up to their accounts.

It is some consolation that HSBC are opening a new branch in town with an entire floor dedicated to student finance: hopefully this will improve the services that they offer.

However, for many of the students who chose their bank because it was easily accessible from university, this is not what they signed up for.

The pain of the train EVERYONE KNOWS that train tracks are not safe places to be.

As children we are brought up being told not to trespass on railways or take a short cut over the line: it’s just too much of a risk.

While the student we report on this week is lucky to be alive, he did sustain severe injuries. This should remind students of the warnings we are given in our youth: do not fool around, do not walk on or run over any train line – you will get hurt.

No more cheap thrills?

IT WAS A sad day in Wales when it emerged that nine Hyper Value stores were closing. The brand, which has come to be synonymous with cheap, crap goodies, has been part of the fabric of the country’s back streets for many years now.

However, not all is lost for the students of Cardiff. While the city centre store may be closing down, the Woodville Road branch is showing no signs of shutting its doors just yet.

Rest assured readers, you’ll still be able to invest in Barry Island cups for a while.

OCTOBER.30.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Causing a Commotion James Templeton examines the world of celebrity adoptions and finds it unethical and hugely concerning

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he world of celebrity is one that fascinates a whole hoard of eager followers, as they look to catch onto the latest trends, know all the latest gossip, and wear all the latest tat.

Even in this magical world of the celebrity there is room for further hero worship and battling, as littler celebrities look to copy bigger celebrities and everyone slags everyone else off.

Celebrity trends have led a lot of people to do a lot of very stupid things, from putting odd looking dogs in handbags to eating only raw food in an attempt to lose weight. While this might result in unfortunate deposits being left in purses and some odd looking exoskeletons appearing in weekly glossies, it isn’t anything too concerning. However, there is a new trend that is starting to get very worrying.

Celebrity adoptions are dangerous things, and they are becoming all the more prominent. Michelle Pfeiffer, Meg Ryan, Ewen McGregor, Rosie O'Donnell, and former couple Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman have all adopted children of different racial backgrounds to their own. Recently, Angelina Jolie has been globetrotting and picking up kids from Cambodia and Ethiopia, and is reportedly closing in on a third.

The adoption process is in place to ensure that the right people adopt the right children And so we come to dear old Madonna. The 48-year-old who refuses to act her age and stop bothering people has decided to fly into Malawi, snatch a child from a family that didn’t want him to go, before soaring him back to the UK on a private jet.

The poor thing is only 13-months-old and he has already endured the death of his mother, followed by the cruel and demonic removal from his homeland by some crazed pop-star who keeps on pretending to be British.

The adoption process is in place to ensure that the right people adopt the right children. It can sometimes take over five years to even get close to adopting a child, but for celebrities the process is taking months and - in cases like Madonna’s - seemingly days. How can proper analysis and procedure be followed? How can such a misguided and purely wrong act be allowed to pass just because some hideously rich celebrity decides to flash cash at a few lawyers, click her fingers, and pluck a child of barely one year from Africa after having

POVERTY IN MALAWI: One saved, thousands left spent just 10 days in Malawi.

Something here doesn’t quite add up.

In a statement released by the American pop star, she defends her move to adopt baby David Banda: “After learning that there were over one million orphans in Malawi, it was my wish to open up our home and help one child escape an extreme life of hardship, poverty and in many cases death, as well as expand our family.” I’m sorry, but what a load of rubbish. Madonna is ripping a child out of its own culture and heritage, placing it in a false environment and giving it a life that will never be normal. Why not open up a few more schools and orphanages rather than plunging thousands of dollars into a speedy and complex adoption process for just one child? Surely that money could have been spent to give the child (and many others) a healthier and happier life in Malawi.

What is even more shocking, is that the baby’s father Yohane Banda (who is illiterate) has recently said in an interview: “I was never told that adoption means that David will no longer be my son... If I was told this, I would not have allowed the adoption... I want more clarification on the adoption. I would prefer that David goes back to the orphanage where I can see him any time I want, rather than send him away for good.” Mr. Banda said he thought that Madonna would simply “educate and take care

of our son”. In a well processed, carefully organised and properly planned adoption these misunderstandings wouldn’t happen.

Not convinced that something sinister is going on yet? Well, let’s take a step back and look at a rather disturbing line from Angelina Jolie, or the Womb Raider, as she might better be titled. “We’re looking at different countries. It’s you know, another boy, another girl, which country, which race would fit best with the kids?”

If celebrities like Madonna were morally adjusted they would donate millions to help a whole community Surely the issue should be that you want the right child, not the right race or the right country. Adopting a child, amazingly enough, isn’t like picking out a new pair of shoes or that simply divine little black dress that you just couldn’t resist. People like this simply shouldn’t be allowed to adopt, not because they are famous or rich, but because they want to do it for all the wrong reasons and are making a mockery of the whole system. Surely some sort of law is being broken here.

But, as we all know, celebrities are

coming soon www.freewords.gairrhydd.com

above the law.

Jolie also described her wish for a ‘rainbow family’. Celebrities are displaying a demented need to have a child of every colour – the desire for a ‘perfect set’. You collect trading cards, not children. So what gives people like Madonna, Angelina Jolie and Meg Ryan the right to adopt impoverished children with little due diligence to the legal process involved? If they really wanted to do something with their ridiculous wealth, they could give millions to help poor communities in developing countries get the infrastructure they need to survive and thrive. But, no, they make the self-centred and ethically unsound decision to take one child and lavish it with all their worldly riches.

This is the real tragedy. The act of taking one child from a nation full of dying, starving, ill and hugely poor children is both selfish and illogical.

If celebrities like Madonna had sincerity and were morally adjusted like the rest of us - rather than being obsessed with their own perverse desire to make themselves seem exciting and in-vogue - they would donate millions to help a whole community, not give one child a very bizarre and unnatural life away from his or her culture and family. In a mad world, dear old Madonna has plucked one poor child from Africa, but left millions more to Die Another Day.

The editors’ blog: the place to have your say

gairrhydd

9

EDITORIAL & OPINION

OCTOBER.30.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Who Turned Out The Lights?

Chris Croissant discusses the increasingly predominant issue of energy wastage, the government’s addiction to oil and the potential of nuclear power

A

recent poll by the Energy Saving Trust, carried out on 5,000 Europeans in the five most populous nations, reveals Britain as the worst energy waster.

Perhaps it is simply that Britons are the most honest about their bad habits.

Yet this research has undoubtedly fuelled the raging fire of climate change and the actions that not just government, but individuals can take to save energy and use it efficiently.

Our most common failings appear to be leaving appliances on standby, leaving mobile phone chargers plugged in and 65% of UK consumers forgetting to turn lights off when leaving the room. The Energy Waster’s League shows the top five countries for wastage in Europe.

Energy Waster’s League 1. UK 2. Italy 3. France 4. Spain 5. Germany Source: Energy Saving Trust In an age when even the sky appears to be green, it seems as though Britons are failing to act conscientiously about rapidly reducing energy levels, even within their own homes.

I know I have to admit to leaving the odd light on and my music running on iTunes. It seems to give the room a more homely feel when you walk back in.

But it is wasteful, and not just something that will cost us in the future.

Householders could in fact save £11bn in fuel bills by 2010.

So there is certainly an incentive to

NUCLEAR POWER: Just another quick fix?

Human beings are cast as the wretches that inhabit Earth, destroying it without a care

take care of how we act, and now that I am a Year two student with my own house and bills to pay, attentiveness works to save my money, as well as saving the planet.

There are some people, however, that are simply sick to their teeth of hearing yet another sob story about our

Look at all those young faces... Rebecca Manley describes the pains of the final year

I

have a growing suspicion that my housemates and I may all be coming down with a strange new illness. We seem to have contracted what can only be described as 'third year syndrome'.

The first two years of university appear to have slipped by in less than a blink of an eye and all of a sudden we are faced with the prospect of the end of life as we know it.

No more outings for coffee and cake in the middle of the day, no longer able to lie in until 4pm. And no more Neighbours 'o clock.

Now we have to put ourselves back out in the real world of nine-tofive work. As if the pressure of having to study extra hard and join a society or two (to boost the C.V that we carefully avoided considering in our first two years) isn't bad enough, we are constantly hounded by dreaded questions like, 'What are we going to do when we finish university?' and 'What sort of career would

we like to get into?'

Gone are the carefree days of the safe interrogation of Freshers' Week: 'Name, halls and course?' Instead, the university bubble has been well and truly burst and we are forced to accept that a degree really does come to an end.

Perhaps this is what has sparked our new-found fascistic attitude towards Freshers, which formed speedily over the summer break.

While our university days are numbered, with the unwelcome end looming ever closer, they are still newly embarking on the thrills and excitement of university life.

They have the whole of their degree stretching out ahead of them, and at least two long years of carefree drunken frolic, with only a bit of panic-stricken studying thrown in every now and again.

So as my housemates and I sit, bitterly berating fresh faced first years as we lean back into our armchairs, we pull a blanket over our shoulders and settle down with a

mug of hot chocolate, ready for this Sunday's screening of BBC1's Jane Eyre. What on earth has happened to us?

In two years we have transformed from up-for-anything all-night party animals, never in bed before 4am (even on a night in), to premature OAP's traipsing up to bed by 11.30 at the latest.

Even when we do drag ourselves out for a night at our old favourite, Come Play, we find ourselves tutting and moaning, fed up with being buffeted about on the dance floor, harassed by sleazy guys, and getting most of the contents of the bar generously sloshed onto our feet. We finally admit defeat, all confess we're having a rubbish night and head home for tea and toast before the clock has struck 1am.

Has the glamour of university life finally worn off? Or is it that in our new-found state of sobriety, freed from the rose-tinted glow of intoxication, we can see student night life for what it really is?

poor planet.

Human beings are cast as the wretches that inhabit Earth and are destroying it without a care of the consequences it might have upon future generations. Sometimes warnings of climate change seem like just a load of hot air.

From all the scare stories that we are bombarded with, most people would think the planet has warmed up by a good few degrees, but, in fact, according to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), the rise in the last century is just 0.6C. This exaggeration of the facts lies very much with bad journalism, or good journalism depending upon your perspective.

The government has been accused of squandering income from oil and gas sources Sensationalist writing certainly sells, but it also leads to greatly misinformed public opinion.

The Green issue is certainly big right now, with political incentives encouraging media coverage. Despite this the world is changing and the human impact upon it increasing daily.

There is a big hole in the atmosphere, ice caps are melting and glaciers are shrinking.

The sustainability of our energy sources is undoubtedly limited.

Therefore, rather than just switching off lights, our consciousness must be turned towards alternate energy sources.

It has been suggested that renewable sources of energy such as wind cannot produce the efficiency to provide a whole nation with the power it requires. One option that could work is the highly contentious resource of nuclear power.

Nuclear power is appealing because it produces vastly greater amounts of energy than fossil fuels. To give an example of how much energy is produced, one nuclear fuel pellet about two centimeters long produces the same amount of electricity as one and a half tonnes of coal.

It is also worth considering that nuclear power stations produce fewer greenhouse gas emissions than fossilfuelled power stations.

However, there are great fears of the dangers of nuclear fallout. The most well known event happened in 1986 when a reactor exploded in Chernobyl, Ukraine. The effects of the fallout are still affecting 16 million people. On top of this, waste from the power plants is toxic for many centuries and there is no safe way to store it permanently or dispose of it.

There is concern that nuclear power is just another quick solution to a growing problem. The current power stations have outlived their life expectancy. Rather than create new ones, as some theorists have tried to encourage the government to do , surely it is now time to turn to our renewable resources; to act in a way that is more harmonious with the world around us.

Recently, in a report by the New Economics Foundation, the government has been accused of squandering income from oil and gas sources.

Money that perhaps would have been better invested in renewable energy. It claims that £1 in every £12 of government income comes from oil and gas, making it ‘hooked’ on fossil fuels.

WWF’s oil policy officer James Leaton urges that “the UK needs to admit its addiction to oil, and make a tough decision to get clean”.

If this is truly a democratic society, make use of your good fortune and exercise your right to free speech; argue and protest for the government to take responsible action. Vote for the party that offers the most progressive green policy.

For those of you that have lost faith in politics, wake up from your lethargy and take action in your own homes and your individual lives. As far as our student loans will allow, eat organically, buy free range eggs, and save energy in your own digs.

It is a simple matter of replacing an old light bulb with an energy efficient one, washing clothes at 30C as opposed to 40C, and reaching for a jumper instead of turning the heating up.

These may be small changes, but they are effective. We cannot change the world on our own, but collectively we can make a big difference.

10 gairrhydd

LETTERS

OCTOBER.30.2006 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com I WAS SLIGHTLY irritated by last week’s letter that criticised a new policy by the Conservatives.

The writer of the letter seemed to have it in for the Tories, simply because they're posh.

This kind of inverted snobbery is unfair. It's not right to sneer at someone because of class, whether they're working class or upper class.

Labour have equally made a mess of higher education, just as the Tories did.

(And they’re just as posh too) In fact, politicans like John Prescott and David Blunkett make me long for more posh people in politics. So my message to the posh is: don't be ashamed! Come out of your closets!

ilies are ultimately paying for all this, to get stuffed.

This is yet another example of the sheer expensively pointlessness of the Welsh Assembly. Not content with wasting the British taxpayers money by changing every conceivable sign into Welsh first and English second for the sole purpose of annoying and confusing non-Welsh speaking people they have now decided, in their ultimate wisdom, to waste British taxpayers money on funding EU citizens to study here but not other Brits. This insanity must be stopped. The Welsh Assembly simply needs to concede that top up fees are a necessary evil (and for current students a bloody good thing) and admit that it just doesn’t have the funds to hand over cash to any European who fancies studying in Wales.

Juliet Heath PhD Student

Keep walking

WELL IF I WAS an English A-level student right now I’d be mightily annoyed. I talk, of course, of the recent revelation that the waste of space that is the Welsh Assembly Government is going to fund Europeans to come to Welsh Universities but not English students despite the fact that the Welsh Assembly’s budget is considerably less than what the total population of Wales pay in tax.

The Welsh Assembly is, in effect, subsidised by the English taxpayer via the Treasury. So you’re an English family who are subsidising an ineffectively public body which in turns subsidises Welsh and EU students within the principality but then turns round and tells English students, whose fam-

WE ALL KNOW that as students we are prime targets for Big Issue people, girls who “only need 20p to get back to Aberystwyth” and pushy charity workers.

I know that it was my own fault and I should have just carried on walking However, on monday, a pleasant looking lady holding a cup of coffee and chewing a biscuit, jumped right into my path making it impossible for me to escape. Anyway, she looked like a simple member of the public, I thought she might merely want to know the time so I stopped. Big mistake. She asked whether I was a student at Cardiff, so I replied politely that I was. Then without so much as a flash of an I.D badge or clipboard she proceeded to interrogate me about my age, personal details

I think we need an advert on here, don’t you menon? why does gair rhydd never print my texts?

I bet this text won’t get printed C-Unit in ‘i’ve got a boyfriend’ scandel halloween nights out are for pussies

i like you letters page print this text or die trying where was the hall of shame last week? my housemate should have been in it after what he did on saturday doyle - RIP let us be, let us be, let us be, let us be

ext: 07791165837

English get angry

and the condition of my hair. Realising that I’d been duped I kindly told her I wasn’t interested and was going to meet a friend. She turned to look at me in disgust and then said “Well, thank you for being so rude, you asshole, f**ing asshole.” Shouting abuse at me as I walked away red faced down Queen Street.

If this is the reaction that rejection solicits from a polite, mild-mannered student like myself, I’d be interested to know what she’s going to call other members of the public.

Rachel Clare

Bring back Fat Fridays!

WE ARE WRITING to you to express our sheer disappointment in the new Friday night in Solus, Access All Areas. It is a blatant rip off of Monday’s Fun Factory but we have to pay £3.50 for the privilege.

Why do we need two nights exactly the same a week? Surely anyone can see that Monday night has a lot more appeal purely because it’s free.

I’d rather stay at home and watch knitting on the TV (no disrespect to any knitting enthusiasts) which I’m sure some people are doing because last night’s Access All Areas was the emptiest and worst night I’ve spent at the Union.

To say the very least it’s a bit of a let down to everyone who deserves to go out and get drunk on a Friday after a

LUCIE APAMPA’S ARTICLE on the recent revelation that the security services have considered using university lecturers as informers is, at best, incredibly naïve and grossly ignorant of the current threats that we as a nation face.

The security services have always had an interest in the goings on within universities, and with good cause. Students being students are always eager to jump on whatever bandwagon just happens to be passing by and demonstrate they support the ‘cause’. In the Cold War that cause was Marxism and other brands of left wing politics. Now it is, amongst others, a pro-Islam approach to world politics. Ms Apampa makes a valid point that many people disagree with British foreign policy and this inherently causes mistrust and hate. However this does not excuse people from attempting to justify or defend the actions of Muslim terrorists who kill civilians indiscriminately.

I’m not for a minute suggesting that all Muslims are terrorists or even support or sympathise with terrorists. Nonetheless it is inescapable that those terrorists are exclusively Muslim, therefore it is week of intense lectures and watching Neighbours. Fat Friday was wicked!

Drew Peacock

only prudent to scrutinise that section of the community over others.

That is not to say that every Muslim is guilty until proven innocent but, like it or not, as long as Muslims continue to blow up planes, trains and automobiles across the civilised western world then they, as a ethnic and religious group, will always be held in greater suspicion than others. Given the severe nature of the threat they pose it is accepted that our governments must take necessary action in an attempt to combat this threat.

The suggestion that university lecturers report any suspicious behaviour to the security services is a perfectly sensible and sound policy. It does not mean that lecturers will be meeting shady secret agents every few weeks with dossiers complied on every Muslim students. It does mean that if a lecturer feels a student is engaged in, or sympathetic towards, radical Islam, then the security services will gather the relevant information on said student and, if the initial suspicions turn out to be well-founded, then appropriate action will be taken as with any other crime.

Mark, PhD Modern British and International Politics and History

Correction: The article ‘No Iranianet for us thank you’ which featured in last week’s gair rhydd was written by James Stileman.

The online newspaper for Cardiff students.

The posh have feelings too

Suspicious spies

www.gairrhydd.com

The gair rhydd letters page is the place for students to have their say about the things that they care about. We welcome any opinion on any topic.

letter of the week

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11

POLITICS

OCTOBER.30.2006 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

Colour clash Take two on tax Tim Hewish Political Correspondent

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here has been much furore in the media and in politics about the dilemma concerning a multicultural Britain – from the Muslim veil to the segregation that is plunging Britain into a polarised society.

Now newly-released statistics show that out of the 58 raciallymotivated murders in the past decade, nearly half of the victims were white. These figures are causing a stir and adding their weight to the growing fissures in the policy of multiculturalism.

The question needs to be asked whether white killings are being brushed aside by both the police and the media due to political correctness?

It would be a knee-jerk response to assume that only the far right would jump on these figures and

so it would be legitimate to blame the media for its part in the significant under-representation of this story.

As for political correctness, there are undertones of a perception that ethnic minorities can do no wrong and are thus incapable of raciallymotivated murder. Moreover, the rhetoric of ‘victim culture’, i.e. that only minorities can be victims in a multicultural society, is slowly being shown up for the empty reality that it is.

It would be interesting to know whether the 7/7 bombings were under this umbrella of racist murders, because these are attacks on another way of life – on democracy, freedom and economic independence to name a few.

Despite the claims that extremism isn’t a clash of civilisations, it clearly is, because civilisation is the reason they do it. What terrorists commit is mass murder of Western peo-

Andy Rennison Political Editor

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egurgitation is unpleasant, whatever form it takes. From those affectionate mother birds on the Discovery channel to the latest Killers album, reusing old material is a universally worrying sign of decay.

Last week, the Conservatives finally revealed details of their tax policy – by accident. It seems a computer malfunction caused the early leak, presumably because the average Tory knows more about Brie than broadband.

Upon first impression, Cameron’s proposals add up to taking a mighty chunk out of taxes, reductions that will affect most sections of society. But delve deeper into the detail, and things become a little more sinister.

The highlights of the Tory package include 2p off the basic rate of income tax for all the middle-earners, as well as abolishing the lowest threshold of 10%. Cameron has pledged to fill the financial hole with plenty of ‘green’ taxation, as the overall cut in revenue will amount to £21 billion.

Compare this then to the all-new and improved Lib Dem tax policy, released not so long ago. That had some key points too.

regarding the whole spectrum of taxation, but those primary bullet points tell their own undeniable story.

There’s no doubt that with every failed leader the Tories have quietly inched their way to a more socialist agenda, at the same time that with every failed policy the government have skulked their way towards pure unadulterated Thatcherism.

But until now the Lib Dems had just about resisted the peer pressure demanding submission to the mainstream. No matter how many of their minor ideas the big two stole, Kennedy’s and now Ming’s army of hardened socialists refused to budge more than a couple of yards to the right.

This moment, however, may just sound the death-knell for three-party democracy, as never before have

Liberal and Tory policy converged so specifically on such a key point as tax.

Inevitable? Perhaps, given the standardisation of PR politics. Difference in all its forms is currently under attack, with no better examples than the furore over Muslim veils and the tension over immigrant quotas.

These prevailing attitudes are vented through such prominent cases, but are simultaneously permeating party politics to the point of self-destruction.

I may be over-reacting – after all, this is just one case involving one policy.

But right now discussion, debate and difference are what this country needs. Integration does not mean assimilation and, just like in the country as a whole, Westminster should start to listen and learn, rather than nervously push for everyone to be the same.

Right now discussion, debate and difference are what we need

GENERATION: the next may inherit a racially-divided Britain twist them in their favour to fuel further racial attacks.

Attacks on white people are an issue. The media has indeed played its part with extensive features on the murders of black teenagers Stephen Lawrence and Damilola Taylor, and more recently Anthony Walker who was murdered with an axe at a Liverpool bus stop by white youths.

An apartheid in Britain is on the horizon and becoming a reality These horrific acts need to be reported, as it is the media’s duty to the wider community to condemn such acts. But the little to no coverage of white murders, shocking in itself, is setting up a society which has an imbalance of what is right and wrong.

In March 2004 a white Scottish teenager, Kriss Donald, was beaten up, before being stabbed a total of 13 times, and finally set alight by British Pakistani Daanish Zahid.

Now has any one reading this article heard his name before?

I certainly hadn’t until this article,

ples, whether they are black, white or Asian.

Furthermore, as an Englishman residing in Wales the report that some white-on-white killings may be a result of attacks between Scots, English, Irish and Welsh people is something of a concern – so much for the Act of the Union.

Another point to note is that these stats show that a further 14 of the 58 race killings were minority on minority so that only leaves 18 murders by white people on other races.

This shows that the act of racial murder isn’t solely a burden white British people should carry, but one the whole demographic should eradicate.

Are we, as British people, ever going to get along? This is fast becoming a fading dream, as each group is pushing away, be it through school choices, housing, language, clothing or literature.

An apartheid in Britain is on the horizon and becoming a reality; this is something we should fight tooth and nail to overcome. However, is the solution assimilation, multiculturalism, or a re-visit to what it means to every citizen to be British and proud?

After all, we are called the United Kingdom.

Sir Ming declared there would be a 2p cut in basic income tax, abolition of the 10% rung, and greener taxes to make up for it.

Spokesmen can say all they like about variations in their fine print

EMPTY: The Tory conference promised the new, but they haven’t delivered

gairrhydd

TAF-OD

OCTOBER.30.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Marathon Caerdydd Iwan Jones

A

R Y 15fed o Hydref 2006 rhedais 13.1 milltir, rhywbeth na fuaswn byth wedi dychmygu cyflawni o’r blaen.

Roedd y syniad wedi dechrau o fis

13

Mai pan benderfynodd 11 ohonom ddechrau loncian ond 5 mis yn ddiweddarach dim ond 2 ohonom gyrhaeddodd y llinnell gychwyn heb son am y llinnell derfyn, sef Carwyn Dafydd a minnau. Un arall oedd yn rhedeg oedd Leah Roberts

a da iawn iddi hi am wneud y ras mewn 1 awr a 58 munud!

Wedi codi’n gynnar fe ddechreuodd y ras yn brydlon am 9y.b. ac a bod yn onest roeddwn yn nerfus gan nad oeddwn wedi ymarfer dim, dim ond mynd allan i yfed y nos Wener cyn y ras, a mae honno yn stori arall! Felly dyma gychwyn yn Heol y Santes Fair a cychwyn loncian am y Bae, roedd popeth yn mynd yn wych a dweud gwir, wel oni bai am redeg yn y dociau ble roedd hi’n teimlo yr adeg hynny fel ei bod byth yn mynd i orffen. Bu’n iawn am 8 milltir hyd cyrraedd parc Bute ble immi deimlo fy mod wedi hitio’r ‘wal’ (i ddefnyddio termau athletwyr!). Ond roeddwn yn benderfynol o beidio cerdded a felly y bu gan immi lwyddo i ddal i fynd heb stopio. Roedd yn deimlad braf gwybod mai dim ond ychydig oedd i fynd wrth fynd drwy’r Castell a braf oedd cael cefnogaeth gan griw o’r merched wrth fynd heibio, roedd pethau felly’n cadw rhywun fynd, diolch!

Roedd cyrraedd y Stadiwm yn wefr, cael rhedeg allan o dwnel y chwaraewyr a cael rhedeg o amgylch maes y Mileniwm ble roedd miloedd o bobl wedi tyrru i ddod yno i wylio. Fy amser oedd 2 awr a 2 funud, roeddwn yn hynnod bles a’r amser hyn a byddaf mi fyddaf yn cymryd rhan y flwyddyn nesaf a gobeithio y bydd mwy ohono chi hefyd!

Siarad Cymraeg?

Tyrd at Taf-od!

Galw’r Jonesiaid Huw Pritchard Swyddog Materion

M

eddyliwch am Jonesiaid.

Tom, Vinnie, Catherine Zeta a Dai, dim ond rhestr byr o’r bobl sy’n rhannu’r cyfenw cyffredin hwn. Cyn bo hir y gobaith yw y bydd y Jonesiaid yn dal record byd ei hunain ac ymuno â rhestr enwog llyfr Record y Byd Guinness.

Ar nos Wener Tachwedd 3ydd. bydd S4C yn cynnal cyngerdd unigryw i gasglu cannoedd o Jonesiaid at ei gilydd yng Nghanolfan y Mileniwm ym Mae Caerdydd. Y gobaith yw torri record byd arbennig drwy gael y nifer mwyaf o bobl â’r un cyfenw o dan yr un to. Ar hyn o bryd mae’r record yn cael ei ddal gan y Norbegiaid yn Sweden ble gasglodd 583 at ei gilydd.

Os yw’r cyngerdd ‘Jones, Jones, Jones’ yn llwyddiannus bydd disgwyl chwalu’r record hwn a gosod un newydd ble bydd tua 1,600 o Jonesiaid yn bresennol.

Dywedodd Gethin Jones, cyflwynydd ‘Blue Peter’ ac un o gyflwynwyr y noson, ar wefan yr ymgais: “Rwy’n caru’r cyfenw - mae yna kudos arbennig iddo ac rwy’n credu fod yr ymgais yma i dorri record y byd yn ffordd wych a denu sylw at Gymru.”

Yn ymuno ag ef ar y llwyfan fydd Jonesiaid enwog eraill megis seren y ‘West End’ John Owen Jones, y canwr Gwyn Hughes Jones ac Dai Jones. Un o brif enwau’r noson fydd Grace Jones o Jamaica, cantores, model a seren ffilm sydd fwyaf enwog am ei rhan yn un o ffilmiau James Bond.

Os bydd yr ymgais yn llwyddiannus bydd disgwyl i’r Jonesiaid ymuno â rhestr dethol ac anhrydeddus.

Ymysg rhain mae Lee Redmond o Salt Lake City gyda’i ewinedd bysedd sy’n mesur 7m 51.3cm a Radhakant Bajpai o India sydd efo gwallt clust sy’n mesur 13.2cm. Ni allwn anghofio wrth gwrs am Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndr obwyllllantysiliogogogoch, sef y pentref bach gyda’r enw mawr!

Mae rheolau tynn ar gyfer yr ymgais. Bydd swyddogion swyddogol Llyfr Record y Byd yno ar y noson i wneud yn siwr fod y record yn un dilys. Bydd angen i bawb ddangos dogfen adnybyddiaeth fel prawf ac dim ond pobl gyda Jones fel cyfenw llawn a dderbynir.

Y gobaith felly yw rhoi Cymru ar y map a dod a enw’r Jonesiaid hyd yn oed yn fwy amlwg. Os ydych chi’n Jones eich hunain cewch fwy o wybodaeth ar www.jones.tv

7*398 +742

5*7 <**0

7*398 +742

5*7 <**0 (&11

47 &551> &9 8*;*73 54.39

14 gairrhydd

FEATURES

OCTOBER.30.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

IS THE BL TIDE TU

The Iraq war has returned to the forefront of the public consciousness. But are we any closer to a resolution?

Ed Vanstone Editorial & Opinion Editor

W

were accurate, it would be over ten times higher than any official estimate of Iraqi casualties.

We will never know the precise number of those killed in the Iraq invasion, but the terrible truth is that 655,000 deaths, one in forty of the entire population, is probably very close to reality.

The invasion has more than doubled the death rate that occurred under Saddam Hussein Perhaps the most politically damaging statistic garnered by the survey was its finding that 13.3 people per thousand had died since the invasion, compared to 5.5 people per thousand before it. In its purported wish to liberate the Iraqi people, the invasion has more than doubled the death rate that occurred under Saddam Hussein.

Almost immediately after the Lancet report smeared its blood soaked figures across the newspapers of the world, came the next blow. In waded the head of the British Army, Sir

ILLUSTRATIONS: ANDREW STYLES

ars drift in and out of the public consciousness to a strange and unpredictable tide. One week it might be Darfur that swells forward to stake its claim on our conscience. Then, as suddenly as it came, the wave retreats, to be replaced by a kidnapping in London, or the scandals of a Liberal Democrat, or the drug problems of a waif celebrity. The people of Sudan go on starving and fleeing and dying, but our attention floats away to a new story, to return only when a particularly macabre atrocity occurs, or the estimated deaths figure slips past another hundred thousand.

Iraq, despite its special status as our very own war, is no different. After the initial cavalcade of media coverage accompanying the invasion over three years ago, the reportage has died down to a low murmur. The bloodshed has grown repetitive; the period in which our fury and disgust faded into numb familiarity has long since passed.

Recently, however, Iraq has been enjoying a resurgence of coverage in Western media, and has swept back to

the forefront of the political agenda.

Whether it will stay there for long is doubtful, but what is clear is that the war is facing its most scathing and irrefutable criticism so far.

First there was the Lancet Report, published to immediate uproar on October 11. The study, which estimated that 655,000 Iraqi citizens had been killed due to our invasion, had the backing of four independent experts.

And though the figures were predictably dismissed by both the US and UK administrations, the methodology of the research is hard to fault.

Survey teams randomly selected 47 clusters of around 40 homes in Iraq, and then knocked on each door to ask how many deaths had occurred in that household since the invasion. They then asked how many had occurred in the fifteen months prior to the invasion. In 92% of cases they obtained death certificates to ratify each reported fatality. The sample was then used to extrapolate a figure for the entire country.

Due to the relatively small size of the sample used to estimate the 655,000 figure, it has a wide range of uncertainty – the true figure may be as high as 943,000 or as low as 393,000.

But even if this lowest possible figure

Richard Dannat, and his interview with the Daily Mail. General Dannat’s comments – that we should withdraw sometime soon; that our presence in Iraq exacerbated tensions; and that our ambitions for the country must be scaled down – told us nothing that we didn’t already know. But because this time the speaker of these eminently sensible observations - which many a political commentator has been expounding for years - was in charge of the British troops fighting and dying in Baghdad, they forced Blair into a response.

Bizarrely, Blair, who has always denied despite overwhelming evidence the link between British foreign policy and the exponential rise of fundamentalism, said that he “agreed with every word”. There is little point in searching for logic or consistency in the Prime Minister’s words. There is none. There is only necessity. General Dannat is too popular with his troops to be fired, and if Blair disagreed with him he would be forced into this action. If I just quietly say I agree, Blair presumably figured, maybe we can sweep the whole Iraq thing back under the carpet f and get back to talking about the veil.

It didn’t work. Dannat’s comments opened up the floodgates for a torrent of criticism from both the media and the army. And although much time and ink was used to debate whether Dannat had broken constitutional law by speaking out with his concerns, just enough was spent corroborating their simple, stark truth.

Team America

D

The ‘liberation’ continues

espite the strength and frequency of criticism in the UK, we must, of course, look elsewhere for the first signs of policy change. Iraq is, after all, the Bush show, and Blair cannot embark upon a final-curtain dance of retreat and conciliation without first securing the approval of the puppet master.

Fortunately, it is not just in Britain that the bloodiest tide is starting to turn. Leaks from James Baker’s Iraq Study Group (ISG) have prompted frantic think-tank action on both sides of the Atlantic. Normally, any leaked information straying from the Bush

doctrine would be quickly and defiantly dismissed (ala that pesky Lancet Report). On this occasion, however, it is not so simple.

Baker is a former secretary of state, staunchly loyal to Bush, and had the President’s backing in chairing the ISG. By the time the full report is released (naturally sometime after the mid term elections on November 7th) Bush will want to show that he has at least deeply considered alternative options in line with its findings.

The ISG leaks echo the stance of General Dannat: staying the course is no longer an option and a major overhaul of coalition strategy is imperative.

Amongst the alternatives to current policy being discussed, the British Foreign Office’s favourite is bringing in Iran and Syria, two countries who the Bush administration has gone out of its way to alienate, to engage in controlling the increasing chaos in Iraq.

This is much like beating someone up, and then getting people you intensely dislike to take him to the hospital. But it may well prove to be the best option left.

Immediate withdrawal is not being considered. Macho sound bites such as Blair’s statement on September 27th, in which he proclaimed that any withdrawal would amount to “craven surrender”, make an instant removal of British forces politically impossible.

As Bush says, we will “not pull our troops off the battlefield before the mission is complete”.

Our ‘mission’, needless to say, is conveniently ambiguous, and you can expect to see its goals slowly downshift in aspiration as ambitions are lowered in the face of the Baker Report: imposition of democracy swapped for a government of any kind; a united country swapped for a partitioned mess; peace swapped for a war not so visible to Western eyes.

So can we expect to see any major changes happening in Iraq?

Don’t hold your breath. Despite the Lancet Report, despite General Dannat, despite James Baker and his ISG leaks, the continued presence of forces in Iraq and a phased handover to Iraqi security forces is still viewed by Bush and Blair as the best choice amongst a plethora of bad alternatives.

A good option simply does not exist. It is possible that the Bush administration

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.30.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

LOODIEST RNING? will quietly try to engage Syria and Iran’s influence in the region to quell the slaughter, but in doing so they would be going against their entrenched ostracism of those two nations. And it is not Bush’s style to swallow his pride. Being the President means never having to say you’ve failed.

The reaction of Dick Cheney to the tide of vitriol and criticism would be hilarious if it wasn’t so depressing.

Faced with quickly growing unease among even resolutely loyal Republicans, Cheney went on the offensive, saying in an interview with Rush Limbaugh that “if you look at the general overall situation” things in Iraq were going “remarkably well”.

Not content with solely offering this little nugget of wisdom, Cheney went on to damage any possibility of policy change further by telling Time magazine, “We’re not looking for an exit strategy. We’re looking for victory.”

With figures as powerful as the VicePresident still refusing to embrace reality and accept the glaring fact that Iraq has been an utter failure, and is now a humanitarian emergency, it is difficult to believe that coalition forces will be brought home any time soon.

In Britain, all that the swathes of vociferous criticism have achieved so far is a statement from Blair declaring that our government will be looking at all the options and will hand over to the Iraqi government “as quickly as possible”. That’s great, Tony, but wait a minute, wasn’t that what we were doing before?

In the US, the chief action has been to warn the Iraq Prime Minister, Nuri al-Maliki, that it will impose sanctions on his country if it does not achieve set goals in curbing sectarian violence.

America’s great epiphany gleaned from all this dreadfully unpatriotic noise would appear to be that deadlines must be set in order to get results. The elusive deadline for withdrawal remains quite another matter.

Statements suggesting that British forces will be out in 12 months have been wafted about by many a prominent member of the British government. It is left to the Defence Secretary, Des Browne, to express the unpopular but unequivocal bottom line: troops will only be removed “when the job is done”. Just like the boss says.

In short, neither Bush nor Blair has committed to anything but a continuation of current policy. More and more people join the dissent. But nothing has changed.

15

FEATURES

Disintegration

M

eanwhile - as Cheney propagandises and our leaders adopt their ‘concerned yet determined’ masks to spew empty rhetoric - the turmoil in Iraq deepens. Recently, the Shia parliamentary majority passed a law that allows the partition of Iraq into autonomous regions. The dissolution of a nation has begun.

It is widely accepted that to have any chance of avoiding a full blown civil war when coalition troops are eventually pulled out, any Iraqi government must bestow a great deal of autonomy to the country’s three major communities. To crudely simplify Iraqi geopolitics, the north of the country is principally Kurdish, the oil-rich southeast Shia, and the West Sunni.

The inevitable separation into federal provinces will worsen the intense segregation that has developed since the invasion. Baghdad, formerly an integrated community of Shias and Sunnis, is now a labyrinthine mosaic of tribal ghettos. Each group must keep to its own ordained areas or risk death.

It is possible that the Bush administration will try to engage Syria and Iran’s influence to quell the slaughter Additionally, each of the three main communities is subdivided into a cornucopia of warring factions. And the fact that many policemen are aligned with militia groups means that the only people you can trust are those who are just like you.

Whatever happens from here on in, it’s going to be very messy. Worse perhaps than anything we have seen so far. The Iraq that its people knew has gone forever. A state carved in three is unlikely to stay that way. Every group will want its independence. Each warlord his empire.

Like Chechnya, much of the country is now a no-go area for all but the most brave and exceptionally talented journalists. Most of the plucky hacks that make the trip to the Middle East will spend their time holed up in a hotel, deep in the ‘green-zone’, as impotent and frustrated as the Western troops patrolling the streets.

With the stories of ordinary Iraqis becoming harder and harder to reach,

all we have to go on are the facts and figures produced by reputable bodies.

2,000 Iraqis a day crossing the Syrian border; an estimated 360,000 internal refugees; 60% unemployment; electricity coverage that has fallen below pre-war levels; 1.6 million citizens that have fled the country. And one in every forty dead since the start of the invasion.

Iraq lies in ruins. The future is bleak. On March 20th, 2003, America and Britain embarked upon a futile war based on lies. We invaded a country that posed no threat to our own; Saddam Hussein did not have weapons of mass-destruction. The illegality of the invasion has been pointed out many times, but is worth repeating at least once more. A nation is permitted to attack another only in self-defence or with the backing of the UN Security Council. We did not act in selfdefence. We did not have the backing of the UN Security Council.

Millions predicted the carnage we see in Iraq now. All over the world, between six and thirty million marched against the invasion on February 15th 2003 – the largest peace demonstration in the history of mankind. Bush and Blair did not listen. The blood of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis is on their hands. And we will not be forgiven.

It is too late for Iraq. Even the most effective change in policy or tactical innovation at this stage will be accompanied by the bombs, torture, mutila-

tion and rape happening in towns and cities across the country every day. All that we can hope for is that we have learnt from this imperialistic inhumanity, and will spare other countries from a foreign policy so sickening in its vanity and sycophancy that it makes one ashamed to be British.

In a few decades time, the ravaged

home of 26 million people will look very different, and may have recovered. But, in the words of Sheikh Farisal Mohammed, a member of Iraqi parliament not bound from the truth by politics and pride, “For now, Baghdad and Iraq are finished. Heaven help us from the terrorists, the Americans and our own leaders”.

16 gairrhydd

MEDIA

OCTOBER.30.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

On-line love, off-line dating?

Karen Eeuwens Media Correspondent

I

nternet technology is advancing everyday, and in the past few years a trend of ‘cyberspace love’ has developed. Increasingly, modern singletons are turning to the Internet in the hope of finding love, but evidence shows that the online dating industry isn’t all hearts and happy endings.

The realm of online dating has shed its stigma of belonging to only the lonely and desperate. One in five British singles claim to be currently dating online and, with the single population likely to approach 16 million by 2010, this figure is set to soar.

Dr Petra Boynton, sex editor of Men’s Health, claims that online dating is liberating for both men and women as it reduces the fear of rejection and allows people to be more upfront about themselves.

Susie Glagow, who met her husband online, agrees. She made it clear in her online profile that she was looking for a partner who wanted children. Now happily married, she points out that, “if you were dating, you would need to let some time go by before you approached that kind of thing”.

Of course, this freedom of expression can sometimes backfire. Gordon Smith, an online dating expert, warns: “While you may find someone special, you’re also likely to be confronted with a fraudster or married man.”

The online dating industry is not legally regulated and vetting procedures remain virtually non-existent on most dating sites. As a result, there is nothing to stop people from setting up a fake profile and abusing the anonymity that online dating provides.

This phenomenon was brought to attention by a BBC Radio 5 Live investigation in August, which revealed that one man had simultaneously seduced six women online.

Smith suggests that this is not unusual:

“A man who has difficulty meeting girls could suddenly find himself getting 20 emails a day from women. It’s inevitable that some suffer from ‘kid in a sweet shop’ syndrome.”

Two-timers are not the only problem in the world of Internet chatrooms.

While some men (and women) are simply looking for a chance to avoid being caught out, others have more sinister intentions. One woman, who prefers to remain anonymous, claims to have had a terrifying experience when an online relationship turned sour.

One in five British singles claim to be currently dating online After breaking up with her online beau, he began a stalking campaign, which culminated in threatening emails and suicide threats. “The last straw was when he sent me a mail a few days before Mothers’ Day telling me he was coming to where I live, and would have no problems finding me”, she said. After being issued with a warning by the police, the harassment stopped, but his victim fears that he is still out there in cyberspace, perhaps targeting other unsuspecting women.

Criminals have also turned to the medium of online dating as a way of cashing in on innocent people’s hopes and desires. Perhaps the most renowned are the ‘Russian Bride scams’ that target Western men with the promise of an attractive Russian girlfriend. Many of these men fork out hundreds of pounds for visas and plane tickets, only to find that their ‘bride’ was in fact a conman, and the picture in her profile was simply posed by an attractive model.

In 2004, Robert McCoy, of Rancho Cucamonga, was found to have

And the second nomination goes to... gair rhydd and Quench have been shortlisted yet again in the second set of student media awards this year. gair rhydd secured a nomination in the Best Student Newspaper category, while Quench clinched a nomination in the Best Student Magazine category.

Both publications have also been credited for their design, receiving shortlist places in the Best Publication Design category.

For the first time ever, gair

rhydd’s website, www.gairrhydd.com, secured a place in the Best Website category.

Three Cardiff students also received credit for their efforts: former news editor Charissa Coulthard was shortlisted for Best Student Reporter, while former columnist Chris White was nominated in the Best Diversity Writer category.

Current editor Perri Lewis was also shortlisted, receiving a nomination for Best Feature Writer.

defrauded more than 250 men in this way, cheating his victims out of more than $1 million. While most of these scams are run by amateurs, Russian police have warned that it is only a matter of time before organised criminal gangs become involved.

So, will the future of online dating provide a greater level of security? It

seems that things are slowly improving. Some sites like match.com and true.com provide safety tips, and keep checks on criminal records and the marital status of all its subscribers.

However, many continue to argue that the Internet dating industry should be more regulated, with clear safety regulations and penalties for offending

users.

Of course, some people are always going to lie, whether it be online or in a face-to-face situation. It is up to the individual to decide what risks to take and how far to trust someone - this applies to any kind of relationship, online or otherwise.

gairrhydd

JOBS & MONEY

OCTOBER.30.2006 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

Beat the bills

Students should start saving money as some energy prices are set to rise this month, says Jobs & Money editor Gillian Roberts tion, especially for low-income households.”

This leading to many bill payers opting to changing their supplier, with many students among them. Customer satisfaction has been claimed to be low by a survey by Uswitch, as 44% of customers are apparently dissatisfied with their service, or rather with the bills.

The survey by Uswitch also discovered that one in five customers who have switched suppliers in the past 6 months have saved around £325.

A Uswitch spokesperson said that: “The key thing to remember is that it does not matter which company sends out the bills, it is the same gas and electricity that comes into our homes.

Contrary to what some people might believe there is no danger of loosing your gas or electricity supply when you switch.”

Students are advised to go to www.energywatch.org.uk or call 08459060708, which is the Energywatch help line for a list of comparison services and prices.

After all, what have students got to lose, switching is free and it could save a lot of money in the long run.

1. Keep curtains closed at dusk preventing heat escaping through the windows.

2. Switch off lights when not needed - but this is not an excuse to tell your lecturer the lack of lighting was the reason for not doing your work.

Why not try something new today!

Call now

Trial durations vary; you could fit us in during your spare time!

Free meals & accommodation are provided whilst you are on a study.

0800 691995

For your free information pack www. volunteer-research

.com

3. Standby buttons should be switched off to save those extra pennies. It’s hard to understand how glowing red buttons don’t annoy anyone… A recent estimate by British Gas claims that leaving your TV and computer on standby, costs an average of £133.51 every year.

GAS: Prices set to soar

Simbec is currently recruiting volunteers to take part in clinical studies

In return y ou coul d recei ve a gener ous pay ment of £300 - £2000 depending on the dur ation of the study !

Jobs & Money’s top tips for saving energy If switching suppliers is just too much hassle and you know that your landlord isn’t going to get you that new boiler (you never know about the hot tub request though) ‘switch on’ to these energy and money saving tips.

jobshop

P

ut on your winter woollies this winter as energy bills are rising with the main six energy suppliers increasing 13 different prices this year.

This month there will be a 17.2% increase on gas and a 9.9% pay increase on electricity from the energy giant nPower. Scottish and Southern Energy have also announced recently that their prices will increase from January 2007.

The result of the increase in gas is due to the cost of wholesale gas which has risen by nearly 90% this year.

Consumers having to pick up the tab, and students will struggle to keep up with bills.

Last summer as everyone was enjoying the sun, Powergen announced the second price increase of the year.

Yet, even though Powergen were the last of the Big Six main providers in the country to announce their rise, there will be more in the future said a spokesman from Energywatch.

“This is unlikely to be the last rise in 2006. Energy costs are now more of a burden on the household budget than at any time since the start of the competi-

17

We urgently require experienced bar and waiting staff over the forthcoming Rugby Internationals on November 4, 11, 17 and 25.

Please contact us on 029 20781535 or pop in to the Jobshop (ground floor, Students’ Union).

Opening hours 10am4pm Monday-Friday

4. If you often leave your parents in the dark with your bills why not add to that? Take/steal any energy saving light bulbs lying around at home and bring them to Uni. Try not to take ones which your parents might notice straight away. The bulbs last 12 times longer than the normal ones and can save around £9 on your bill annually.

5. Did you know that a dripping hot tap in a week wastes enough hot water to fill half a bath? A good excuse to throw in your smelly housemate…or to save money and get it sorted.

6. Pay the bills as soon as they land on that dusty doormat.

Some suppliers give a discount off your next bill with prompt payment.

7. Check your meter reading against your bill. Some suppliers use an estimate reading and can make you pay more than you’ve actually consumed. If it is remarkably different call the supplier and they will send you an amended bill.

8. If possible pay your bills for the term in one instalment, for example with internet or phone bills. It is easier to see how much money you have left instead of having a direct debit each month.

If you know the same amount of money will be taken out each month this is the best option.

18 gairrhydd

HEALTH

OCTOBER.30.2006 HEALTH@gairrhydd.COM

Why do people self-harm?

Now lectures have started and assignments are handed out, Health takes a look at a method some people use to de-stress

U

niversity can be a stressful time, and some people have a unique way to relieve the pressure.

Some people self-harm on a regular basis while others do it just once or a few times. For some people it is part of coping with a specific problem and they stop once the problem is resolved.

Other people self-harm for years whenever certain kinds of pressures or feelings arise.

People who self-harm have often had very difficult or painful experiences or relationships such as bullying or lack of love and affection Other people may start to self-harm as a way of dealing with the problems and pressures of everyday life. People can be made to feel angry, frustrated or bad about themselves if they cannot live up to other people's expectations.

People who self-harm may have low self-esteem. For some this is linked to poor body image, eating disorders, or drug misuse. Understanding why people self-harm involves knowing as much as possible about their lives and lifestyles.

Extreme feelings of fear, anger, guilt, shame, helplessness, self-hatred, unhappiness, depression or despair can build up over time. When these feelings become unbearable, self-harm can be a way of dealing with them. It gives them a sense of control when other parts of life may not.

Self-harm is more common than people realise. It's impossible to say exactly how many young people selfharm because: Many people hurt themselves secretly before finding the courage to tell someone and many of them never ask for counselling or medical help There is no standard definition of self-harm used in research. There are no national statistics on self-harm currently available. However, some evidence suggests self-harm is more common among women than men.

There are many reasons why young people may find it difficult to ask for help. They may not know where to find help; they may feel too ashamed to tell people what they do; they may think that people will judge them.

It may be difficult to understand

why someone would deliberately harm themselves but it is important to remember that many people do things that are harmful from time to time, such as smoke, drink too much, or over-eat.

While these things may be thought to be more socially acceptable than self-harm they can also be harmful ways of dealing with stress and the pressures of everyday life.

People who self-harm are experiencing extreme distress. They are not usually attention-seeking or mentally ill. They are in a situation where they have lost control over what is happening to them and have no other means of expressing their feelings or asking for help. They need compassion, support and understanding.

If you are a sufferer, when you decide to get help, remember you are

not alone. Lots of other young people who self-harm have made the same decision - and many have been helped to stop hurting themselves.

One of the best ways to get help is finding someone you can talk to and trust. This could be anyone from a parent to a friend.

If there is no-one you feel you can trust at the moment, there are lots of sources of confidential help and support available.

Stopping is easier if you can find other ways of expressing or coping with your feelings. To do this you need to try to understand what makes you do it. Lots of people don't know why they hurt themselves.

When you feel anxious or upset, doing something you enjoy or trying to think about other things can be a way to help you stop hurting yourself. You

could try phoning a friend, writing your feelings down in a diary, listening to music, drawing or reading.

Alternatively you could count to ten or breath slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth.

It may be the only way they have of communicating their feelings If you know someone who selfharms, remember that they are extremely distressed and that it may be the only way they have of communicating their feelings Allowing them to talk about how

they feel is probably the most important thing you can do for them. Just feeling that someone is listening and that they are finally being heard can really help.

Always let the person finish what they are saying and, while they are talking, try not to be thinking of the next thing you are going to say Take them seriously and respect their feelings.

Do not blame them for hurting themselves. Try to avoid being critical even if you feel shocked by what they are saying. This may make them feel even more alone and prevent them talking to anyone else Do not ask them to promise never to self-harm again. They may well do it again and then feel guilty about breaking their promises.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is when someone deliberately hurts or injures themselves, and can take a number of forms: *cutting *taking overdoses of tablets or medicines *punching oneself *throwing their bodies against something *pulling out hair or eyelashes *scratching, picking or tearing at one's skin causing sores and scarring *burning *inhaling or sniffing harmful substances

visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

www.selfharm.org.uk A key information resource for young people who self-harm, their friends and families, and professionals working with them.

The Red Dragon Centre, Cardiff Bay, Hemingway Road CF10 4JY Tel: 02920 256261

gairrhydd

19

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

OCTOBER.30.2006 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

Timber merchants

The Government authorising a re-fit of The Cabinet Office using unsustainably sourced timber? Surely not!

Marianne Fisher Environment Correspondent

L

ook at your watch for me, and click your fingers every two seconds.

Now imagine an area of rainforest the size of a football pitch being destroyed every click. That’s happening in the ancient forests around the globe right now. 80% of the original rainforests have already been destroyed. Unless something changes, the rest will disappear in our lifetime.

Most of this destruction is carried out illegally, often without the consent of the forest-dwellers who have owned the land for generations. You'd think something would be being done about it by now, wouldn't you?

Well, back in 2001 our own dear leader Tony Blair made a statement which promised that the government would only use 'legally and sustainably sourced timber'. Michael Meecher Environment Minister at the time added that this “'includes wood used during construction and wood fixed as part of the finished structure.” Since then, the government has been found breaking its promise no less than four times. That's four times in five years.

October 2002: The Cabinet Office is undergoing a £22.6 million re-fit. Jo Whalley MP contacts the government about the timber being used and is assured that it’s all sustainably sourced. Further investigation revealed the government planned to use 200 doors made from a tropical wood that is on the World Conservation Organisation's red list of endangered species. The tree grows exclusively in the Cameroon rainforest.

The Forest Stewardship Council (the only body that can guarantee timber is legally/sustainably sourced) does not recognise any wood from Cameroon. The timber supplier confirms that the doors are not certified by the FSC. Government blunder number one.

The following year, March 2003: Plywood hoardings used during construction of the new Home Office HQ are found to be from Indonesia. None of the forest is certified for logging purposes yet it is disappearing faster than any other forest on Earth. Why is it being used in UK government projects? Why indeed.

Blair promised to use sustainable and legally sourced timber Jump to last summer, July 2006: Admiralty Arch in Trafalgar Square, which houses the Cabinet Office and the ominously named, 'Prime Minister's Strategy Unit', is having a face-lift.

Again the government claims it has a guarantee from contractors that the wooden hoardings are legal and well sourced. After repeated demands from protestors and journalists to provide proof, the Cabinet Office says that its fax machine is broken and that the document cannot be emailed. The plot thickens...

Last month on BBC Newsnight, the government finally admitted that the hoardings were from threatened rain-

Recycling - know the facts Sarah Vine Environment Correspondent

I

t’s only when you stop and think about how much waste we really produce that it becomes clear how important it is to recycle.

On average each UK household produces approximately one tonne of waste each year, and 90% of this ends up in landfill sites and incinerators.

Although the percentage of recycled waste is rising, it is clear that much more needs to be done.

Many people feel that recycling isn't worth the hassle, and that a lot of effort is required for very little reward. That simply isn't true.

Every time you recycle you do three positive things for the environment you avoid putting rubbish into a landfill site or incinerator, which helps to conserve energy and avoids the overuse of raw materials. You also make a positive contribution to the ongoing battle against climate change.

Much of the domestic waste deposited in landfills each year is recyclable. Currently we can recycle paper,

glass, aluminium, tin cans, plastics, and cardboards.

However, if you want to do more than recycle domestic waste, here are a couple of tips that could really make a difference: Avoid over-packaging; Stay away from packaged food where ever possible and try to buy your fruit and veg loose.

Look out for recycled 'everyday' products as alternatives, such as recycled toilet roll, tissues, refuse sacks, writing paper, and envelopes.

Recycle your old mobile phones.

There are approximately 90 million unused mobiles sitting in drawers all around the UK. There are some pretty cool recycled products out there that would make great presents, such as handbags, purses, and pencil cases all made from recycled juice cartons.

Buy refillable printer cartridges for your printers and return used cartridges to the manufacture.

So anyway, get on it, stop making excuses; recycle. It’s our future, don't throw it away.

forests in Papua New Guinea. Just days afterwards, it was revealed that the same kind of hoardings were being used to protect the precious floors, walls and stairs of the Houses of Parliament. This time for a five million pound refurbishment of the press area.

When a national newspaper spoke to the supplier, L&G Timber, it was told that “if sustainable wood had been requested, we would have supplied it.”

All the government had to do was ask.

And yet again, they failed to do so.

That's four broken promises.

Ok, so the politicians lied again and they are using wood from the rainforest. You may wonder why this matters.

To put the issue into perspective: The UK is the biggest importer of illegal timber in Europe. This is then used for furniture, toilet roll, paper, construction and, especially, plywood. Just one trader, International Plywood, ships out 10,000 cubic metres of rainforest plywood every month.

These trees may have taken thousands of years to grow, yet the plywood will most likely be used once on a construction site. Then thrown away.

Using ancient trees as plywood and toilet roll is like smashing up the Colosseum and using it as the base for a road. Except smashing the Colosseum wouldn't leave millions of families without homes and two thirds of land-dwelling life extinct.

The government is responsible for 20% of the UK's timber industry. If you count the wider public sector, the figure rises to 40%.

With green being the new black, and politicians falling over backwards to seem environmentally on-the-ball, it beggars belief that the government

continues to show such negligence.

Not only that, but they have tried to cover it up time and again, only to appear red faced and apologetic afterwards. Maybe sorry isn’t good enough any more. If you agree that it's time the

lies stopped, take two minutes to log onto the Greenpeace website where there is a pre-written email you can sign and send to Tony Blair, reminding him of the promise he made in 2001.

Reminding him that we're watching.

gairrhydd

21

TELEVISION

OCTOBER.30.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

This Week’s Monkhouses Among The Bygraves: October 30-November 5

(Family) Fortunes Faded If He’s Up There With Les I’ll Give You The Money Meself

HOT

Owen Pallet If your girlfriend is worth going out with in the first place then every time she kisses you she wishes to herself that you were Owen Pallet.

The guy makes the most beautiful music and combines it with not being physically grotesque. Unlike you.

Soaps David’s still being a little shit in Coronation Street this week, which sucks for him ‘cause it leads Charlie Stubbs to nearly drown him for pissing about in his and Maria’s little affair thing. In Neighbours Lynne realises that Paul has set her up to get in big shizz with their baby belt business thing, but then when she confronts him they end up getting tasty together, which quite frankly brings a new level of “treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen”. In ‘ollyoaks, that one what’s pregnant gets involved in some joyriding and then they crash and then she probably loses the baby or something if she’s lucky. Nancy begins a campaign to prove Becca’s innocence, but I’m pretty certain that Justin and her did get it on so we’ll see how that one pans out. You’ll probably hear it here first.

I

magine how excited I was to hear that this week would see the return of Family Fortunes and Les Dennis. My mind got a racing. Where could this lead?

Bruce Forsyth and Play Your Cards Right? Michael Barrymore and Strike It Lucky? Frank Sidebottom and Remote Control? TV needs more of these great entertainers back regularly on our screens, and this could be the opening that they all need. “If Les is doing it, what about me?”, Barrymore would inevitably cry (and probably LITERALLY cry) But No. Because this week sees both a double shot in the arm and knee in the groin. Denno is back, but not presenting Family Fortunes.

His new show In The Grid (five, weekdays, 6.30pm) reaks of promise just from reading the words “from the makers of deal or no deal” but my words of “on channel five at the same time as Hollyoaks” brings things right back down again. It promises to revolutionise TV game shows though as I exclusively read TV Choice magazine, where they ensure me “it will be a psychological battle, with contestants relying on nerve, strategy and luck”. In case you needed confirmation of the strategy element, Lesley himself says “what makes it so good (NB. not just ‘good’ but ‘SO good’) is that there are elements of bluff and strategy and keeping

Fudge Tunnel 33.7

a poker face is important”. Damn, they really want to hammer home that strategy don’t they?

Meanwhile, a Les-less Family Fortunes has its reigns over enthusiastically seized by Vernon Kay’s comedy jazz hands. Now I understand that I am an irrational man and hatred resounds in my heart like the pained groan of Quasimodo in the bell tower everytime he clatches a glimpse of his reflection in the bell (incidentally, I do the same everytime I see my

face), but I cannot help thinking that if I was the most rational man on this planet, if I was...John Humphreys, I would still wish death upon Kay before falling to sleep each night. And then everytime I woke up to go to the toilet during the night. To make matters even worse, this is CELEBRITY family fortunes. Yuhu, All Star Family Fortunes (ITV1 Saturday, 4.55pm). Now...the whole attraction of family fortunes was that people would come on and make fools of themselves because of having to think on their feet.

However, if you put Chris Moyles infront of a camera and ask him to “name a British wildlife animal”, then OF COURSE he’s going to say “a lion”, because that’s the sort of comedy gold that ITV are looking for, and it’s exactly the sort of form that’s gonna guarantee one day Moyles gets invited onto Celebrity Fat Cunt. What’s more, Fearne Cotton was on the program last week, and I hate her even more than Kay. So yeah, that’s TV, and I’m quite upset about it. If one good thing has come of it though, it’s that I’ve been able to display to you just how good my design skills are with that picture over there. Brilliant, I’m sure you’ll agree. So, until next week, have a good one. I’ve not turned my TV on since Sunday.

Follow my lead, and maybe one day they’ll get rid of these listings. Thanks for your continued support. Lots of love, TV Gareth x

DVDS TO RENT/BUY The ultimate horror is out on DVD soon but it’s like the Pro Evo to Fifa of film, as it’s called Nosferatu: Phantom Der Nacht instead of the more culturally known Dracula. For the film afficionados, it is also directed by Herzog. Nice pretentious viewing.

Also relevant is the release of Carrie, arguably Brian De Palma’s best film. “I made my sister watch this and she was amazed that a girl could make pig’s blood appear in a shower”. Children are funny things. They’re like people but smaller.

For all the people with taste, Peep Show Seasons One To Three is released in a a nice shiny box. The extras are worth it alone, with an exclusive look at Jez’s Big Brother audition tape. Be the envy of idiots everywhere.

For geeks alike a Transformers: The Movie: 20th Anniversary Edition is out now. My mate Rhys Trigg can quote every line from this film. My mate Rhys Trigg is a legend. See this and remind yourself of how good it was before seeing Michael Bay’s impending cinematic abortion...

NOT

Rob Styles - In my current game of Football Manager, I, playing as Manchester City, finished 2 points away from securing Champions League football. This was stolen from me when Styles failed to rule out a goal for offside in the penultimate match of the season. NOT HOT!

Film As Halloween is upon us, how relevant that ultimate slasher Halloween is on TV, on Tuesday at 11.45pm BBC1. Alternatively, you could go old school and watch Dracula on C4 at the same time.

Horrifically bad films also fill the box on five with the dreadful Gothika on at 9pm Sunday and Showgirls, Saturday at 11.25pm.

Sport Big sports week, blah blah blah.

Barcelona v Chelsea (Tuesday, 7.30pm ITV1). Barca will be hell bent on getting a result blah blah blah 1-0 at Stamford Bridge blah blah blah Mourinho’s men blah blah blah. All you really need to know is what time it’s on, ‘cause I’m not going to be able to offer any great insight. If you want that, then Ceefax page 302.

Radio Is this column really still here? Oh for fuck’s sake. I don’t care about the radio. I barely abide TV, but radio is even worse as it’s more difficult to find the channels.

There was this one time last year, or maybe the year before, where we got asked to advertise Xpress radio’s sports coverage of when we fight Swansea or something, that was brilliant, because we didn’t have to think. I like being told what to do. Then there is no inner wrangling because whatever I am doing I am doing it because I HAVE to. Like following normal grammatical standards, and not killing the meat eaters for eating vegetarian pizza even though there is less of it and always loads of theirs left over. Ah, fin...

22 gairrhydd

MONDAY

OCTOBER.30.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

X-Ray

Castle in the Country

BBC1 6.30pm

BBC2 2.15pm

5:00am Breakfast 8:15am Animal 24:7 9:00am City Hospital 10:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:45am Hard Sell 11:15am Cash in the Attic 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:30pm Regional News and Weather 12:40pm Neighbours 1:05pm Doctors 1:35pm Murder, She Wrote 2:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 2:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 2:40pm Arthur 2:55pm Watch My Chops 3:10pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 3:40pm The Batman 4:00pm Blue Peter 4:25pm Newsround 4:35pm Neighbours 5:00pm BBC News and Weather 5:30pm Wales Today; Weather 6:00pm Holiday 2006 Bah I want to go on holiday. I don’t even care where. I’m 4 weeks into my 3rd year and I really can’t be arsed with the degree thing.

6:30pm X-Ray 7:00pm EastEnders I’ve got into Eastenders recently. I think I might have missed an episode because I don’t know what’s happening to Jake.

7:30pm Trauma 8:00pm Spooks 9:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 9:35pm Graham Norton's Bigger Picture 10:15pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 10:45pm Man Dancin' 12:40am Sign Zone:Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 1:10am Sign Zone:Home 2:10am Sign Zone:York Minster 2:40am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 6:10am Boogie Beebies 6:25am Tweenies 6:45am Lunar Jim 7:00am CBBC:Roar 7:55am Arthur 8:20am Zombie Hotel 8:45am Only in America 9:20am The Fairly Odd Parents 9:30am Even Stevens 10:00am Animal Park 10:30am The Munsters 11:00am The Daily Politics 11:30am Working Lunch 12:00pm The Witness 12:05pm Follow Me, Boys! This seems a bit strange. I know for sure I certainly wouldn’t follow the person.

Unless they offered me a big bag of sweets. 2:15pm Castle in the Country 2:45pm Flog It! 3:30pm Ready Steady Cook 4:15pm Weakest Link 5:00pm Sudo-Q 5:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 6:00pm Showtime Wales 6:30pm York Minster 7:00pm Mastermind 7:30pm University Challenge This programme makes me realise how little I have actually learnt at university.

Sometimes I can get one or two questions right. If I went on I’d just look like complete idiot. I even look like an idiot in my seminars and I’m meant to know what we’re talking about.

8:00pm Suez: A Very British Crisis 9:00pm Have I Got News for You 9:30pm Newsnight 10:20pm The Russian Newspaper Murders: Storyville 11:20pm Joins BBC News 24 12:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:Ma France 1-4 4:00am Le Francais au Pluriel

5:00am GMTV Newshour 5:58am GMTV Today 7:35am LK Today 8:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 9:30am This Morning 11:30am Loose Women 12:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1:00pm The Price Is Right 1:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 2:30pm Pocoyo 2:35pm Curious George 2:50pm Tricky Quickies 3:00pm Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 3:15pm Bel's Boys 3:30pm My Parents are Aliens 4:00pm The Price Is Right 5:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:00pm Emmerdale 6:30pm Coronation Street 7:00pm Wales This Week 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Vincent 9:30pm ITV News 10:00pm Karaoke Queen In first year we knew a boy called Charlie, aka Chaz the Spaz, who loved singing karaoke in the Talybont Social. He sang various hits, including songs by Elvis and The Beatles. The pinnacle of his singing career was his mental cover of Mr. Bombastic. What made it even more hilarious was the fact that he was being serious and wanted impress us.

Needless to say it failed and he left at the end of first year.

10:30pm The Guest List 11:00pm Drivers Uncovered: Tonight 11:25pm ITV Play: The Mint 3:35am I Want That House 4:00am ITV Nightscreen 4:30am ITV Early Morning News

5:00am The Cubeez 5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Freshly Squeezed 6:30am Friends 7:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:30am Will and Grace 8:00am Frasier 8:30am Wakey Wakey Campers 9:20am Designers Under Pressure 9:30am Make Me a Grown Up 10:00am The 100 Hottest Web Searches They probably shouldn’t show the hottest web searches this early.

Are you allowed to show DVDA before 9pm? 2005 10:30am The KNTV Show 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Headland 12:30pm Checking Into History 12:50pm McBride: Murder Past Midnight 2:30pm Countdown 3:15pm Deal or No Deal 4:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:00pm The Simpsons 5:30pm Hollyoaks 6:00pm Channel 4 News 6:55pm Rory Peck Awards 2006 7:00pm Dispatches: Women Only Jihad 8:00pm Wife Swap 9:00pm Without a Trace 10:00pm Jimmy Carr: Stand Up 11:05pm The Perfect Scary Movie 1:05am Mad Cows 2:40am Ozone 3:00am A Victorian Diary 3:15am A Victorian Diary 3:30am Lisa Looks Back 3:45am Lisa Looks Back 4:00am Lisa Looks Back 4:15am Lisa Looks Back 4:30am Lisa Looks Back 4:45am When the Romans Came to Wales Thanks to my Medieval Arthurian Literature module I have learnt a little bit about Wales’ celtic history. I have learnt something this year.

5:00am The Save-Ums! 5:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 5:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 5:50am Hi-5 6:25am The Little Princess 6:45am Make Way for Noddy 7:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 7:15am Peppa Pig 7:20am Thomas &#38; Friends 7:40am Bird Bath 7:50am My First...

8:00am The Wright Stuff 9:30am Trisha Goddard 10:30am five news 11:00am Home and Away 11:30am BrainTeaser 12:30pm The Return of Frank Cannon 2:35pm Mary Higgins Clark's We'll Meet Again 4:30pm five news 5:00pm Home and Away 5:30pm In the Grid 6:00pm five news 6:15pm The Gadget Show 7:00pm Fifth Gear 8:00pm Extraordinary People: The Girl Who Survived Rabies Is it just me that thinks she should probaby just have died? I remember an episode of Heartbeat years ago when some bloke died of babies.

9:00pm Tripping Over 10:05pm A Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex Just lie back and think of England. Or Wales. I guess it depends how good the sex is. If I was a girl I could probably offer some more insight.

I am, however, limited to the male ideas that I won’t go into.

10:50pm Swinging 11:20pm NBA Action 11:45pm Championship Boxing 12:25am NFL Live - Monday Night Game 4:00am French Football 4:25am Motorsport Mundial

6:00pm Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 7:00pm What Not to Wear 8:00pm Dog Borstal 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm Spooks 10:30pm The Real Hustle 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am The Electric Proms 1:00am The Indestructibles 1:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:30am The Real Hustle I’m quite enjoying talking about how much I don’t care about my degree today. I mentioned that I hardly speak in seminars. If asked why by my tutor my reply will be simple. I’ll just say that I’ve read the text and all the criticism so I don’t want to embarrass everyone else with my frankly superior knowledge of the subject. If I did offer my opinion the tutor would risk looking stupid and would probably resign from teaching.

Plus I hate people who never shut the fuck up. Who cares anyway, fuckface?

6:00pm The Way We Cooked 7:00pm The World 7:30pm The Perfect Village 8:00pm Elizabeth David: a Life in Recipes 9:30pm Storyville: Street Fight 10:50pm United Gates of America 11:50pm Forty Minutes On 12:50am The Cinema Show: Booze in the Movies 1:50am The Perfect Village 2:20am Forty Minutes On Seriously though, why do some people feel the need to talk so much in seminars? If we all just sat there in silence and let the tutor speak we’d probably learn more. The more you talk about 12th cenutry kings or whatever, the less everyone else is learning. I leave seminars knowing the name of King Rob’s sons and who they married and when they died and that really doesn’t help. Or does it? Am I just being really ignorant and stupid? If I need to know that when I write my essay I will take back everything I just said. Somehow I know I’m right.

5:00am Fun Song Factory 5:10am Engie Benjy 5:25am Mopatop's Shop 5:35am Pocoyo 5:50am Fun Song Factory 6:00am Winx Club 6:25am Transformers Cybertron 6:55am Biker Mice from Mars 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Sonic Underground 8:25am Coronation Street 8:50am Emmerdale 9:15am Emmerdale 9:45am The Oprah Winfrey Show 10:35am Judge Judy 11:00am Coronation Street 11:30am Emmerdale 12:00pm Emmerdale 12:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 1:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 4:15pm Airline 4:45pm Judge Judy 6:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:00pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 8:00pm Hell's Kitchen USA 9:00pm Ladette to Lady 10:00pm Coronation Street

5:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:30am Wake Up with... The Pussycat Dolls 7:00am Wake Up with... The Pussycat Dolls 7:30am Whatever...

You Want 8:00am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but... 1996 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 1:00pm The OC 1:55pm Beauty and the Geek 3:00pm Scrubs 3:30pm Hollyoaks 4:00pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm The OC 6:00pm Hollyoaks 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm Hollyoaks: In the City 9:00pm The Blair Witch Project 10:35pm Russell Brand's Got Issues 11:10pm Invasion 12:00am Hollyoaks: In the City 1:05am Russell Brand's Got Issues 1:30am The OC 2:10am Queer as Folk 3:00am Switched 3:25am Switched 3:45am Switched 4:05am Switched

6:00am Darllen 'Da Fi 6:15am Gel a FFion 6:20am Ffi-Ffi A'i Ffrindiau 6:30am Bobinogi 6:40am Clwb Cleber 6:45am Bob the Builder 7:00am Mona y Fampir 7:30am Dennis a Dannedd 7:50am :Waaa! 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 8:55am Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Darllen 'Da Fi 11:45am Gel a FFion 11:50am Ffi-Ffi A'i Ffrindiau 12:00pm Bobinogi 12:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Beside the Seaside 12:20pm Wild Thing I Love You 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:10pm Countdown 3:00pm Medabots 3:25pm Stamina 3:50pm Ffeil 4:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:00pm The Simpsons 5:30pm Rownd a Rownd 6:00pm Wedi 7 6:30pm Newyddion 7:00pm Pobol y Cwm 7:25pm Ffermio 8:00pm Natur Anghyfreithlon 8:45pm Cwpan Heineken 9:45pm Sgorio 10:50pm Wife Swap 11:50pm Dispatches: Women Only Jihad

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gairrhydd

23

TUESDAY

OCTOBER.30.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

BBC1 2.55pm

Secret Policeman’s Ball C4 9.00pm

5:00am Breakfast 8:15am Animal 24:7 9:00am City Hospital 10:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:45am Hard Sell 11:15am Cash in the Attic 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:30pm Regional News and Weather 12:40pm Neighbours 1:05pm Doctors 1:35pm Murder, She Wrote 2:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 2:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 2:40pm Arthur 2:55pm Watch My Chops 3:10pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 3:40pm The Batman 4:00pm Blue Peter 4:25pm Newsround 4:35pm Neighbours Izzy takes Karl home from the Scarlett Bar - and the pair end up spending the night together. SHOCK HORROR!! 5:00pm BBC News and Weather 5:30pm Wales Today; Weather 6:00pm Watchdog 6:30pm EastEnders 7:00pm Holby City 8:00pm The Amazing Mrs Pritchard My music teacher at senior school was called Miss Pritchard. She was rubbish.

She cried too easily and gave me my first ever ‘bad comment’.

9:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 9:35pm Week In, Week Out 10:05pm Imagine... A Play for Today 11:15pm Halloween 1:00am Sign Zone:Beyond Boundaries: The African Challenge 2:00am Sign Zone:A Week of Dressing Dangerously 2:30am Sign Zone:To Buy or Not to Buy 3:15am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 6:10am Boogie Beebies 6:25am Tweenies 6:45am Lunar Jim 7:00am CBBC:Roar 7:55am Arthur 8:20am Zombie Hotel 8:45am Only in America 9:20am Fairly Odd Parents 9:30am Even Stevens 10:00am Animal Park 10:30am The Munsters 11:00am The Daily Politics 11:30am Working Lunch 12:00pm The Witness 12:05pm The Hawaiians 2:15pm Castle in the Country 2:45pm Flog It! 3:30pm Ready Steady Cook 4:15pm Weakest Link 5:00pm Sudo-Q 5:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 6:00pm Dad's Army 6:30pm Jamie Owens Welsh Journeys 7:00pm Heston Blumenthal: in Search of Perfection If Heston is looking to turn himself into perfection, then I would suggest he started by changing his ludicrously posh name.

7:30pm Digging Deep 8:00pm Horizon 8:50pm This World: Iran Kidney Sale 9:30pm Newsnight 10:20pm BBC Four on BBC Two:Machine Men Things are put on BBC4 for a reason. So that the normal TV viewing public doesn’t get burdened with them. But, here, have a program about robots why don’tcha?

11:20pm Joins BBC News 24 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Keystage 3 Bitesize Revision English 1 3:00am Keystage 3 Bitesize Revision - English 2 I just want to go home and play Football Manager all night.

5:00am GMTV Newshour 5:58am GMTV Today 7:35am LK Today 8:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 9:30am This Morning 11:30am Loose Women 12:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1:00pm The Price Is Right 1:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 2:30pm Pocoyo 2:35pm Meg and Mog 2:45pm Horrid Henry 3:00pm Tricky TV 3:30pm My Parents are Aliens 4:00pm The Price Is Right 5:00pm Wales Tonight 5:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:00pm Emmerdale 6:30pm Champions League Live Football Barcelona v Chelsea. Praise be 9:00pm George Michael I'm Your Man - a South Bank Show Special 9:30pm ITV News 10:00pm George Michael I'm Your Man - A South Bank Show Special Time for the obligatory “This week I’ve been listening to...” list. This seems like a good place to put it aswell, seeing as I’ve mostly been listening to Wham. Lets see: The Long Blondes album is actually really good, however much I’d like to hate it; Hella, Arab Strap, ballboy, Final Fantasy, Francois And The Atlas Mountains...actually, writing this list is making me well up a little due to my iPod’s death. Sob. 10:40pm UEFA Champions League Highlights 11:35pm Motorsport UK 12:15am ITV Play: The Mint 2:45am Mum's On Strike 3:20am Date My Daughter 4:00am ITV Nightscreen 4:30am ITV Early Morning News

5:00am The Cubeez 5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Freshly Squeezed 6:30am Friends 7:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:25am Will and Grace 7:55am Frasier 8:30am Wakey Wakey Campers 9:20am Designers Under Pressure 9:30am Make Me a Grown Up 10:00am The 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 10:30am The KNTV Show 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Headland 12:25pm King of Queens 12:50pm McBride: The Chameleon Murder 2:30pm Countdown 3:15pm Deal or No Deal 4:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:00pm The Simpsons 5:30pm Hollyoaks 6:00pm Channel 4 News 6:55pm Rory Peck Awards 2006 7:00pm It's Me or the Dog 7:30pm Cooking It “Can glamour puss Claire learn to cut it in the kitchen”?

No, she’s a fucking cat!!

8:00pm Supernanny 9:00pm The Secret Policeman's Ball 10:40pm The Killers: Video Exclusive 10:45pm Dracula 12:50am Cutting Edge 1:50am Abductees 2:00am Little Dark Poet 2:05am South American Championship Football 3:00am When the Romans Came to Wales 3:15am When the Romans Came to Wales 3:30am When the Romans Came to Wales 3:45am Pressure Points 4:00am Pressure Points 4:15am Pressure Points 4:30am Pressure Points 4:45am Pressure Points

5:00am The Save-Ums! 5:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 5:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 5:50am Hi-5 6:25am The Little Princess 6:45am Make Way for Noddy 7:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 7:15am Peppa Pig 7:20am Thomas &#38; Friends 7:40am Bird Bath 7:50am My First...

8:00am The Wright Stuff 9:30am Trisha Goddard 10:30am five news 11:00am Home and Away 11:30am BrainTeaser 12:30pm Side by Side 2:35pm five news update 2:40pm Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman 4:30pm five news 5:00pm Home and Away 5:30pm In the Grid Les Dennis!!

6:00pm five news 6:15pm Tim Marlow On... Velazquez 7:00pm Make Me a Supermodel This morning on Channel 4 sees a program called “Make Me A Grown Up”, quite frankly, this is a far more challenging proposition. Once again, five are going for the out-there programming, breaking down boundaries. However, in reality, this is going to be nothing like Frankenstein, and it’s just gonna be another shite reality TV programme.

Awesome!!

8:00pm CSI: Miami 9:00pm CSI:NY 10:00pm Ghosts on the Underground 11:00pm The FBI Files 12:00am NASCAR - Chase for the Nextel Cup 12:50am NBA Basketball 3:20am NHRA Drag Racing I am in no mood for human interaction today. It’s times like this that make me feel like I should get a blog. This is a low.

6:00pm The Apprentice USA Right, so I’ll let you into a little hilarious secret.

Due to day light savings and stuff like that all of this week’s listings are out of sync by an hour. HILARIOUS!! Some people might think that in a publication as esteemed as ours, the workforce would spend time correcting these hours. To be honest any other section would. But i couldn’t care less. 6:45pm Torchwood De-Classified 7:00pm Grime Scene Investigation 7:30pm The Indestructibles 8:00pm Little Britain 8:30pm The Catherine Tate Show 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm Torchwood 10:20pm The Indestructibles 10:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:20pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:50pm Grime Scene Investigation 12:20am Torchwood 1:10am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:40am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:10am The Indestructibles

6:00pm Reputations However I wouldn’t want to cause you too much trouble, so here’s a simple equation you can use to work out the actual time of a program. DISPLAYED TIME + ONE HOUR = ACTUAL TIME. Simple. 7:00pm The World 7:30pm Dinner with Portillo 8:00pm The Other Side of Suez 9:00pm The Haunted Airman 10:10pm Dennis Wheatley: A Letter to Posterity 11:10pm The Other Side of Suez 12:10am The Haunted Airman 1:20am Dennis Wheatley: A Letter to Posterity 2:20am The Other Side of Suez I am miserable. Every piece of technology I own seems to be on its last legs. My laptop keeps going lame on me, and today my iPod wiped itself and won’t show up on my computer. Woe is me.

Worst part of this is that I’m now sat in the office with no real way of hiding from people, other than being genuinely rude. Which thankfully I have no problem with.

5:00am Fun Song Factory 5:10am Engie Benjy 5:25am Mopatop's Shop 5:35am Pocoyo 5:50am Fun Song Factory 6:00am Winx Club 6:25am Transformers Cybertron 6:55am Biker Mice from Mars 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Sonic Underground 8:25am Coronation Street 8:50am Emmerdale 9:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 10:10am Judge Judy 11:30am Coronation Street 12:00pm Emmerdale 12:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 1:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 4:15pm Airline 4:45pm Judge Judy 6:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:00pm Nanny 911 8:00pm 10 Things I Hate about You 9:55pm Entourage 10:25pm The Office: An American Workplace 10:55pm My Little Eye 12:50am ITV Play: Playdate

5:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:30am Wake Up with... Jamiroquai 7:00am Wake Up with... Jamiroquai 7:30am Whatever... You Want 8:00am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but... 1997 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 1:00pm The OC 1:55pm Beauty and the Geek 3:00pm Scrubs 3:30pm Hollyoaks 4:00pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm The OC 6:00pm Hollyoaks 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm Ghost Whisperer 9:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 10:00pm Unanimous 11:05pm Unanimous: The Fallout 11:40pm Shameless TV Ryan turning on the charm for anyone who’ll listen. 12:45am One Tree Hill 1:30am Beauty and the Geek 2:30am Shameless 3:30am Switched 3:50am Switched 4:10am Switched 4:35am Switched

6:00am Planed Plant Bach 6:15am Planed Plant Bach 6:30am Planed Plant Bach 6:45am Planed Plant Bach 7:00am Planed Plant 7:30am Planed Plant 7:50am Planed Plant 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:50am Frasier 9:15am Thunderbirds Are Go! 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Planed Plant Bach 11:45am Planed Plant Bach 12:00pm Planed Plant Bach 12:15pm Rory Peck Awards 2006 12:20pm Hitler's Holocaust 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:10pm Countdown 3:00pm Planed Plant:SuperTed 3:10pm Planed Plant:Mona y Fampir 3:25pm Planed Plant 3:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 4:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:00pm The Simpsons 5:25pm Tipit 6:00pm Wedi 7 6:30pm Newyddion 7:00pm Pobol y Cwm 7:25pm Taro 9 8:00pm America Gaeth A'r Cymry 9:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:05pm Family Brat Camp 11:05pm Supernanny

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Family Guy

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BBC3 10.35pm

BBC4 8.00pm

5:00am Breakfast 8:15am Animal 24:7 9:00am City Hospital 10:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:45am Hard Sell 11:15am Cash in the Attic 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:30pm Regional News and Weather 12:40pm Neighbours 1:05pm Doctors 1:35pm Murder, She Wrote 2:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 2:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 2:40pm Arthur 2:55pm Watch My Chops 3:10pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 3:40pm The Batman 4:00pm Blue Peter 4:25pm Newsround 4:35pm Neighbours 5:00pm BBC News and Weather 5:30pm Wales Today; Weather 6:00pm Child of Our Time: the Children's Stories 6:30pm Real Story with Fiona Bruce 7:00pm Car Wars 8:00pm Crimewatch 9:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 9:35pm The National Lottery Draws 9:40pm Crimewatch Update 9:50pm ONE life 10:35pm Arachnophobia This is the third best film about poisonous spiders attacking a small town with Jeff Bridges as the doctor in the world, and worth watching if you have a slight phobia of them as by the end of the film you will have a full blown neurotic disorder.

12:20am Sign Zone:Incredible Animal Journeys: Osprey Odyssey 1:20am Sign Zone:Ancient Rome: The Rise and Fall of an Empire 2:20am Sign Zone:Digging Deep

6:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 6:10am Boogie Beebies 6:25am Tweenies 6:45am Lunar Jim 7:00am CBBC:Roar 7:55am Arthur 8:20am Zombie Hotel 8:45am Only in America 9:20am The Fairly Odd Parents 9:30am Even Stevens 10:00am Animal Park 10:30am The Daily Politics 12:00pm B & B The Best 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Small Town Gardens 1:15pm Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting "Oh Mavis I'm so glad we came to this blistering hot country with its sparkling clear turquoise ocean, but wait Mavis, what is that over there? Buy one get one free on Asda crab sticks!" 2:15pm Castle in the Country 2:45pm Flog It! I might go on this, I have loads of rubbish I need to sell/off load onto unsuspecting victims e.g My ‘Story of the year’ cd I found the other day. I was young alright, and stupid, and kerrang gave them a really good review.

3:30pm Ready Steady Cook 4:15pm Weakest Link According to Darwin it’s the gingers 5:00pm Sudo-Q 5:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two to tango, but eight to line dance 6:00pm Scrum V Live 8:30pm Torchwood 9:20pm Look around You 9:30pm Newsnight 10:20pm About Adam I think this is the film with Ewan Mcgregor in when he gets his naughty bits out a lot in the middle of the highlands. 11:55pm Joins BBC News 24

5:00am GMTV Newshour 5:58am GMTV Today 7:35am LK Today 8:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 9:30am This Morning 11:30am Loose Women 12:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1:00pm The Price Is Right 1:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 2:30pm Pocoyo 2:35pm Curious George This week my flatmate George is mostly curious about how much it would cost to get a glory hole put through his door 2:50pm Tricky Quickies 3:00pm Grizzly Tales For Gruesome Kids 3:15pm Bel's Boys 3:30pm Jungle Run 4:00pm The Price Is Right 5:00pm Wales Tonight 5:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:00pm Emmerdale 6:30pm Coronation Street 7:00pm The National Television Awards 9:30pm ITV News 10:00pm Glee Time 10:35pm Entourage 11:00pm ITV Play: The Mint 3:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:00am ITV Nightscreen 4:30am ITV Early Morning News What not to wear is showing in the office, this week they are helping to dress people whose partners have died.

What? Like that will bring them back.

Also the tall blonde one cannot empathise with anyone, she is stunning and obviously had a pampered lifestyle so when she says "are you allergic to colour?" you want to say "are you allergic to machetes through your head?”

5:00am The Cubeez 5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Freshly Squeezed 6:30am Friends 7:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:30am Will and Grace 8:00am Frasier 8:30am Wakey Wakey Campers 9:20am Designers Under Pressure 9:30am Make Me a Grown Up 10:00am The 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 10:30am The KNTV Show 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Headland 12:25pm King of Queens 12:50pm McBride: It's Murder, Madam 2:30pm Countdown 3:15pm Deal or No Deal 4:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:00pm The Simpsons 5:30pm Hollyoaks 6:00pm Channel 4 News 6:55pm Rory Peck Awards 2006 7:00pm How Clean Is Your House?

7:30pm Your Money or Your Wife 8:00pm Brat Camp: What Happened Next?

9:00pm Goldplated parts of the anatomy are gold plated and diamond encrusted with hilarious results.

10:05pm Borat's Television Programme 10:50pm Borat's Television Programme 11:35pm Diesel U Music Awards 2006 12:40am Frailty 2:25am Goalissimo! 3:20am Trans World Sport 4:15am Countdown And now Ellen would like to take this moment to come up with a witty comeback through written form to someone who said something rude to me last night about trying not to let "my tits hang out too much in pictures." There’s a reason I ignore you dude.

5:00am The Save-Ums! I am fed up with Channel 5's ridiclous and ambigious kids program titles, I mean what exactly are ‘The Save-Ums’? Ok I went on The Save-Ums ‘game’. You touched them and they made squeeky noises.

Rubbish 5:10am Bear in the Big Blue House Lets see if Bear has any fun games . Well I played the ‘shadow says’ game, and people (I dont know who these people are for they are cowards and hide themselves) boo you when you get it wrong! That’s going to psychologically damage a childs ego.

5:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 5:50am Hi-5 6:25am The Little Princess 6:45am Make Way for Noddy 7:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 7:15am Peppa Pig 7:20am Thomas &#38; Friends 7:40am Bird Bath 7:50am Mio Mao 8:00am The Wright Stuff 9:30am Trisha Goddard 10:30am five news 11:00am Home and Away 11:30am BrainTeaser 12:35pm Thieves 2:30pm Columbo: An Exercise in Fatality 4:30pm five news 5:00pm Home and Away 5:30pm In the Grid 6:00pm five news 6:15pm Game Ranger Diaries 7:00pm The British UFO Mystery: Stranger than Fiction 8:00pm Perfect Day - The Wedding 10:05pm My Wedding Day Ruined My Life hahah brilliant, I hope the women in the 8pm program and the 10.05 one are the same person.

11:05pm PartyPoker.com World Open II 12:35am NHL Ice Hockey 3:30am Major League Soccer

6:00pm The Apprentice USA 6:45pm The Real Hustle 7:00pm Cast Away 9:15pm Little Britain 9:45pm Live!

Girls! Present Dogtown 10:15pm Family Guy Peter has a flashback and does something to annoy Louis, the baby tried to kill her, Chris discovers boobs, Meg still isn’t popular and the dog says something sarcastic.

10:35pm Family Guy Joe is in a wheelchair and a joke is made in reference to this, his wife is still pregnant, Quagmire says "gigity gigity" and tries to shag a thirteen year old. I like Family Guy I really do, this is just an episode guide, for every episode. 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:55pm Ideal 12:25am The Real Hustle 12:55am Grime Scene Investigation 1:25am Live! Girls! Present Dogtown 1:55am Dog Borstal I watched Marie Antoinette on Sunday. I have to say me and film Ryan have come to blows over this.

6:00pm The African Rock 'n' Roll Years 7:00pm The World 7:30pm Nation on Film: VE Day Special 8:00pm Lonesome Dove A lonely dove tries to meet other single doves and then his head explodes, his feet turn into apple puddings and his wings are the cream. 9:30pm Lead Balloon 10:00pm Never Mind the Full Stops 10:30pm Mark Lawson Talks to Ridley Scott Ridley Scott’s best five films in my opinion: Aliens, Legend, Gladiator, Blade Runner and Thelma and Lousie 11:30pm Nation on Film: VE Day Special 12:00am Kirsty Wark Talks to Alison Jackson 12:30am The African Rock 'n' Roll Years 1:30am Lead Balloon 2:00am Never Mind the Full Stops 2:30am Kirsty Wark Talks to Alison Jackson Alison Jackson is the lady who makes fake paparazzi photos of celebrities in compromising positions, like the queen putting her corgi in the microwave laugh.

5:00am Fun Song Factory 5:10am Engie Benjy 5:25am Mopatop's Shop 5:35am Pocoyo 5:50am Fun Song Factory 6:00am Winx Club 6:25am Transformers Cybertron 6:55am Biker Mice from Mars 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Sonic Underground 8:25am Coronation Street 8:50am Emmerdale 9:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 10:10am Judge Judy 11:30am Coronation Street 12:00pm Emmerdale 12:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 1:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 4:15pm Airline 4:45pm Judge Judy 5:30pm Jack and Kelly at the National Television Awards: On the Red Carpet 6:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:00pm Hell's Kitchen USA 8:00pm Me and My Breasts 9:00pm Test Drive My Girlfriend 9:30pm Jack and Kelly

5:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:30am Wake Up with... Nas 7:00am Wake Up with... Nas 7:30am Whatever... You Want I want a pile of sushi and naked men covered in oil 8:00am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but 1998 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 1:00pm The OC 1:55pm Beauty and the Geek 3:00pm Scrubs 3:30pm Hollyoaks 4:00pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm The OC 6:00pm Hollyoaks 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm Desperate Housewives 9:00pm Bo in the USA 9:30pm Star Stories 10:00pm Goldplated 11:05pm Sex and the City 11:45pm No Angels 12:45am Desperate Housewives 1:30am Star Stories 1:55am No Angels 2:55am Beauty and the Geek 3:55am Switched 4:15am Switched

6:00am Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 6:10am Planed Plant Bach:Peppa Pinc 6:15am Planed Plant Bach:Binca 6:20am Planed Plant Bach:Ding Dong 6:30am Planed Plant Bach:Falmai y Fuwch 6:45am Planed Plant Bach:Bob the Builder 7:00am Planed Plant:Mona y Fampir 7:30am Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 7:50am Planed Plant:Waaa! 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:20am Thunderbird 6 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 11:40am Planed Plant Bach:Peppa Pinc 11:45am Planed Plant Bach:Binca 11:50am Planed Plant Bach:Ding Dong 12:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Falmai y Fuwch 12:15pm Rory Peck Awards 2006 12:20pm You Are What You Eat 12:55pm How Clean Is Your House?

1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:10pm Countdown 3:00pm Planed Plant 3:50pm Planed Plant

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Curious George

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THURSDAY

OCTOBER.30.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

BBC1 8.15am

The 100 Hottest Web Searches C4 10am

5:00am Breakfast TV Ellen has now just realised that she has written her other TV page in italics for no reason whatsoever, and has to undo it and she has been here for four and a half hours. TV Ellen is going to kill you.

8:15am Animal 24:7 9:00am City Hospital 10:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:45am Hard Sell 11:15am Cash in the Attic 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:30pm Regional News and Weather 12:40pm Neighbours It’s all go in Neighbours this week as Lyn and Paul do the horizontal fandango, and Izzy drugs Karl so that he thinks he is sleeping with Susan instead of her.

1:05pm Doctors 1:35pm Murder, She Wrote 2:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 2:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 2:40pm Arthur 2:55pm Watch My Chops 3:10pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 3:40pm Batman 4:00pm Young Dracula 4:25pm Newsround 4:35pm Neighbours 5:00pm BBC News and Weather 5:30pm Wales Today; Weather 6:00pm Super Vets 6:30pm EastEnders 7:00pm Holby City 8:00pm The State Within 9:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 9:35pm Dragon's Eye 10:05pm Question Time 11:05pm This Week 11:55pm Sign Zone:To Buy or Not to Buy 12:40am Sign Zone:Simon Schama's Power of Art 1:40am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 6:10am Boogie Beebies Small dancing babies 6:25am Tweenies 6:45am Lunar Jim 7:00am CBBC:Roar 7:55am Arthur 8:20am Zombie Hotel 8:45am Only in America 9:20am The Fairly Odd Parents 9:30am Even Stevens 10:00am Animal Park 10:30am The Munsters 11:00am The Daily Politics 11:30am Working Lunch 12:00pm engage International Bowls Open 2:15pm Castle in the Country 2:45pm Flog It! 3:30pm Ready Steady Cook 4:15pm Weakest Link 5:00pm Sudo-Q 5:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 6:00pm The Trees That Made Britain 6:30pm A Pembrokeshire Farm 7:00pm Coast 8:00pm The Catherine Tate Show “What’s that lady saying, something about kilts?” “No Catherine, she is saying that lazy racist humour is not really in anymore. You’re as funny as herpes.”

8:30pm Lead Balloon 9:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 9:30pm Newsnight 10:20pm BBC Four on BBC Two:Storyville: Shakespeare Behind Bars Shakespeare gets arrested for blowing up his beard 11:40pm engage International Bowls Open 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Intermediate English: Poetry I might go mad and kill the Guillemots downstairs in the middle of their encore “You think you’re getting a train to Brazil eh? Well I will send you.

5:00am GMTV Newshour My current hate is being organiser of bands in the sideroom at Fun Factory. Not only do I not care anymore, but I also hate the fact that bands ring me up and text me asking if I can book them a slot despite having no music for me to hear. I know I volunteered to do it, but between that, this, dissertation, going back to Bristol once a week for the back doctor, I am going a little bit insane. I’m afraid I will start talking to my feet, like they are my friends.

5:58am GMTV Today 7:35am LK Today 8:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 9:30am This Morning 11:30am Loose Women 12:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1:00pm The Price Is Right 1:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 2:30pm Pocoyo 2:35pm Curious George 2:50pm Tricky Quickies 3:00pm Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids 3:15pm Bel's Boys 3:30pm Jungle Run 4:00pm The Price Is Right 5:00pm Wales Tonight 5:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:00pm Emmerdale 6:30pm The Ferret 7:00pm The Bill 8:00pm Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares 9:00pm Tarrant on TV 9:30pm ITV News 10:00pm Twinned With Chernobyl?

10:30pm Waterfront 11:00pm Free Ride 11:25pm ITV Play: The Mint 2:45am Britain's Best Back Gardens 3:10am Driving Mum And Dad Mad 4:00am ITV Nightscreen

5:00am Grabbit the Rabbit 5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Freshly Squeezed 6:30am Friends 6:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:25am Will and Grace 7:55am Frasier 8:30am Wakey Wakey Campers 9:20am Designers Under Pressure 9:30am Make Me a Grown Up I have not seen this, but I’m guessing two little chavvy brats who arent taken seriously by their parents decide to play grown up for the day by being home-makers or policemen, and at the end they realise it is harder than it looked and they all learn a valuable lesson. It is basically going to be along the same lines as an episode of “Saved by the Bell.” You can have Mr Belding ring you up on special occasions by paying him the reasonable rate of 13 dollars. How the mighty fall.

10:00am The 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 10:30am The KNTV Show 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Headland 12:30pm King of Queens 12:50pm McBride: The Doctor Is Out, Really Out 2:30pm Countdown 3:15pm Deal or No Deal 4:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:00pm The Simpsons 5:30pm Hollyoaks 6:00pm Channel 4 News 6:55pm Rory Peck Awards 2006 7:00pm The River Cottage Treatment 8:00pm A Harlot's Progress 10:05pm The Commitments 12:15am Jeff Tweedy: Live in Concert 12:50am Dil To Pagal Hai 4:10am Countdown 4:55am Inuk My feet are beginning to look very friendly and approachable.

5:00am The Save-Ums! 5:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 5:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 5:50am Hi-5 6:25am The Little Princess 6:45am Make Way for Noddy 7:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 7:15am Peppa Pig 7:20am Thomas and Friends 7:40am Bird Bath 7:50am Mio Mao 8:00am The Wright Stuff 9:30am Trisha Goddard 10:30am five news 11:00am Home and Away 11:30am BrainTeaser 12:40pm Streets of Laredo 2:35pm five news update 2:40pm Nowhere to Land 4:30pm five news 5:00pm Home and Away 5:30pm In the Grid 6:00pm five news 6:30pm UEFA Cup Football: Palermo v Newcastle 9:00pm Make Me a Supermodel They made them lie in fish last week, and one of the girls was a vegan and had to hold a fish over her head...and they say being a supermodel isn’t challenging. These are people who just narrowly missed out going on The Krypton Factor.

10:00pm Extraordinary People: The Girl Who Survived Rabies She remebered she had had a tetnus injection.

Not really surviving as having took proper precautions for when she bought that schizophrenic monkey.

11:00pm John Barnes' Football Night 11:55pm The Great Big British Quiz 3:00am Football Argentina 4:00am Dutch Football Now for some advertising: go and see the Act One panto, it is good and nice.

6:00pm The Real Hustle 6:30pm Runaways 7:00pm Dog Borstal 8:00pm Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm The Real Hustle 10:00pm The Indestructibles 10:30pm Grime Scene Investigation 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Dog Borstal 12:55am Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids The bed made of spikes was a bad idea yes? 1:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Other “celebrities” you can recieve phone calls from for reasonable prices on Hollywoodcalling.com are the guy who was one of the Lonesome Gunmen from The X Files, Dr Elmo the singer of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” and the girl who was the Terminator in the third film. I want Dr Elmo for my birthday so take note housemates.

6:00pm Sounds of the Sixties 6:10pm The Avengers 7:00pm The World 7:30pm Up Pompeii 8:00pm Forty Minutes On 9:00pm Lead Balloon 9:30pm The Late Edition 10:00pm I, Claudius 10:55pm The Haunted Airman 12:05am The Late Edition 12:35am The Perfect Village 1:05am Forty Minutes On 2:05am Mark Lawson Talks to Jack Dee I must share with you my flatmate Kathryn “foxiest girl in the club” Nixon’s recent Hollywood-like experience, to prove to all you cynics out there that life is like a movie starring Sandra Bullock. She was walking along St Mary’s Street recently when she spotted a hunky man’ He bought a flower off a tramp selling them on the side of the road gave it to her and said “I think you’re beautiful.” She gave him her number.

Could this be the story they tell the gran kids? Could it? Well no. Her phone stopped working.

5:00am Fun Song Factory 5:10am Engie Benjy 5:25am Mopatop's Shop 5:35am Pocoyo 5:50am Fun Song Factory 6:00am Winx Club 6:25am Transformers Cybertron 6:55am Biker Mice from Mars 7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am Sonic Underground 8:25am Coronation Street 8:50am Emmerdale 9:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 10:10am Judge Judy 11:30am Coronation Street 12:00pm Emmerdale 12:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 1:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 4:15pm Airline 4:45pm Judge Judy 6:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:00pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 8:00pm The Lookey Likey Show 8:30pm The Lookey Likey Show 9:00pm Comedy Cuts 9:30pm Runaway Bride 11:40pm Comedy Cuts 12:10am ITV Play: Playdate 3:00am

5:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:30am Wake Up with the Ordinary Boys 7:00am Wake Up with the Ordinary Boys 7:30am Whatever... You Want 8:00am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Nothing but 1999 11:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 1:00pm The OC 1:55pm Beauty and the Geek 3:00pm Scrubs 3:30pm Hollyoaks 4:00pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm The OC 6:00pm Hollyoaks 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm Scrubs 8:30pm The War at Home 9:00pm The Sopranos 10:10pm Bo in the USA 10:40pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 11:15pm Smack the Pony 11:45pm Scrubs 12:15am The War at Home 12:40am The Sopranos 1:35am Bo in the USA 2:00am 8 Out of 10 Cats 2:25am Smack the Pony 2:50am Beauty and the Geek

6:00am Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 6:10am Planed Plant Bach:Pingu 6:15am Planed Plant Bach:Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 6:20am Planed Plant Bach:Anturiaethau Smot y Ci 6:30am Planed Plant Bach:Meees! 6:45am Planed Plant Bach:Bob the Builder 7:00am Planed Plant:Mona y Fampir 7:30am Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 7:50am Planed Plant:Waaa!

8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:50am Frasier 9:15am Anastasia 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Planed Plant Bach:Darllen 'Da Fi 11:40am Pingu 11:45am Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 11:50am Planed Plant Bach:Anturiaethau Smot y Ci 12:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Meees! 12:15pm Rory Peck Awards 2006 12:20pm A Place in the Sun: 20 Best Places to Make Money 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:10pm Countdown 3:00pm Planed Plant:Tylwyth Od Timmy 3:20pm Planed Plant:Tylwyth Od Timmy

Animal 24:7

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Zombie Hotel

Make Me A Supermodel

Make Me A Grown Up

BBC2 8.20am

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26 gairrhydd

FRIDAY

OCTOBER.30.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Open All Hours

Civil War

BBC1 6.30pm

BBC2 4.30am

5:00am Breakfast 8:15am Animal 24:7 9:00am City Hospital 10:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 10:45am Hard Sell I used to sell double-glazing over the phone. We were told to bully people into booking an appointment. I didn’t like it. 1:15am Cash in the Attic 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:30pm Regional News and Weather 12:40pm Neighbours 1:05pm Doctors 1:35pm Murder, She Wrote 2:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 2:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 2:40pm Arthur 2:55pm Watch My Chops 3:10pm Pinky and the Brain 3:30pm The Basil Brush Show 3:55pm The Slammer 4:25pm Newsround 4:35pm Neighbours 5:00pm BBC News and Weather 5:30pm Wales Today; Weather 6:00pm A Question of Sport 6:30pm Open All Hours 7:00pm EastEnders 7:30pm Out-Take TV 8:00pm Have I Got News for You 8:30pm Not Going Out 9:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 9:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 10:35pm Roadkill I have never run over an animal. One time I thought I had run over a rabbit but I didn’t feel the bump so I don’t think I did. I always swerve and nearly cause a crash instead. Once I saw a man run over a cat on purpose. That was horrible.

12:10am The Lawnmower Man 1:55am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 6:10am Boogie Beebies 6:25am Tweenies 6:45am Lunar Jim 7:00am CBBC:Roar 7:55am Arthur 8:20am Zombie Hotel 8:45am Only in America 9:20am Fairly Odd Parents 9:30am Even Stevens 10:00am Animal Park 10:30am The Munsters 11:00am The Daily Politics 11:30am Working Lunch 12:30pm engage International Bowls Open 2:15pm Castle in the Country 2:45pm Flog It! 3:30pm Ready Steady Cook 4:15pm Weakest Link 5:00pm Sudo-Q 5:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 6:00pm Scrum V Live Why would anyone want to watch rugby on a Friday night? Or on any night for that matter.

8:00pm Gardeners' World 8:30pm Simon Schama's Power of Art 9:30pm Newsnight 10:00pm Newsnight Review 10:35pm Later...with Jools Holland 11:35pm engage International Bowls Open 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:Ever Wondered about Food?

Oh God yes! I’m wondering about food right now. I had a Mcdonalds last night for the first time in ages and it was fooking fabulous. I’ll have a BigMac meal with a coke thank you very much.

1:30am The Dangers of Powerful Neighbours 2:00am Music and Place: Sounds of Paradise 2:30am Wayang Golek - Puppeteers of West Java 3:00am Living with Risk 3:30am At the Local 4:00am Taking Note 4:30am Civil War Is the worst kind of war.

5:00am GMTV Newshour 5:58am GMTV Today 7:35am Entertainment Today 8:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 9:30am This Morning 11:30am Loose Women 12:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 1:00pm The Price Is Right 1:30pm Crime Hour: Midsomer Murders 2:30pm Pocoyo 2:35pm Curious George 2:50pm Tricky Quickies 3:00pm Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids 3:15pm Bel's Boys 3:30pm The New Worst Witch 4:00pm The Price Is Right 5:00pm Wales Tonight 5:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:00pm Emmerdale 6:30pm Coronation Street 7:00pm Rubbish Revolt: Tonight Bin night in our house always causes problems. I wouldn’t call it a revolt though.

7:30pm Airline I can’t believe this is still on TV. 8:00pm Blue Murder 9:30pm ITV News 10:00pm Hell's Kitchen I cleaned our kitchen yesterday. It was quite messy but I don’t think it resembled a hell’s kitchen. They probably have cow shit on the floor, cat shit in the sink and dog shit in the microwave. The oven doesn’t work properly and it burns your food on the outside but leaves it raw on the inside causing food poisoning for eternity. Oh and there’s raw chicken on the work surfaces.

11:00pm ITV Play: Make Your Play 3:25am Too Many Cooks 4:00am ITV Nightscreen 4:30am ITV Early Morning News

5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Freshly Squeezed 6:30am Friends 6:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:25am Will and Grace 7:55am Frasier 8:30am Bobby Friction: Generation 7/7 9:20am Designers Under Pressure 9:30am Make Me a Grown Up 10:00am The 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 10:30am The KNTV Show 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Headland 12:30pm King of Queens 1:00pm McBride: Tune in for Murder 2:30pm Countdown 3:15pm Deal or No Deal 4:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:00pm The Simpsons 5:30pm Hollyoaks 6:00pm Channel 4 News 6:35pm Unreported World 7:00pm The War at Home 7:30pm The Simpsons 8:00pm Unanimous 9:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats Will land on their feet when dropped out of a three storey window. Fact. Try it at home.

9:30pm Bo in the USA Bo Selecta?

Yawn.

10:05pm Man to Man with Dean Learner 10:35pm My Name Is Earl 11:05pm The Album Chart Show 11:40pm Gumball 3000 12:10am Gorillaz: Live in Manchester 1:15am Partypoker.com Late Night Poker Masters 2:15am The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 2:40am South American Championship Football 3:30am Dispatches: Women Only Jihad 4:25am Countdown

5:00am The Save-Ums! 5:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 5:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 5:50am Hi-5 6:25am The Little Princess 6:45am Make Way for Noddy 7:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 7:15am Peppa Pig 7:20am Thomas & Friends 7:40am Bird Bath 7:50am Mio Mao 8:00am The Wright Stuff 9:30am Trisha Goddard 10:30am five news 11:00am Home and Away 11:30am BrainTeaser 12:35pm The Big Game 2:40pm The Deadly Look of Love 4:30pm five news 5:00pm Home and Away 5:30pm In the Grid 6:00pm five news 6:30pm Pimp My Ride UK I have seen the American Pimp My Ride (which follows this) but I have never seen Pimp My Ride UK. I know that Tim Westwood affirms his status as a total prick though. I think I might watch this. I say this now but I know that I won’t. I don’t know why I torture myself like this.

7:00pm Pimp My Ride See above.

7:30pm Make Me a Supermodel 9:00pm Most Wanted Imagine being one of the most wanted people in the world. It’d make life really difficult. You couldn’t even go to the pub without being harassed. Going on holiday would be even harder. Customs would be a right bother. There’d be all these people staring at you and checking your passport and get in your way and you’d probably miss your flight.

11:00pm X-Rated: Inside Naked News 12:00am Quiz Call 4:35am Wildlife SOS

6:00pm The Apprentice USA 6:45pm The Apprentice USA 7:30pm Robin Hood 8:10pm Torchwood 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:30pm Live! Girls! Present Dogtown 11:00pm Torchwood 11:50pm Torchwood De-Classified 12:05am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:35am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:05am The Real Hustle 1:35am The Indestructibles 2:05am Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids Crown myself the prince of buzz, can't wait until you, can't wait 'til you unsubscribe. I'll be a lonely scribe. But what if they like it, and lock us in a cannery with your accordian, until we canned our love? We can get along. We can get along. Montreal might eat it's young, but Montreal won't break us down.

Now I got a VCR, if we put our hearts in twenty thousand tiny jars...

6:00pm Time 7:00pm The World 7:30pm Nation on Film: Kearton's Wildlife 8:00pm The Allen Toussaint Touch 9:00pm The Electric Proms: James Brown Live 9:30pm QI 10:00pm Lead Balloon 10:35pm The Avengers 11:25pm The Allen Toussaint Touch 12:25am Saving Jazz 1:25am Lead Balloon 1:55am Nation on Film: Kearton's Wildlife 2:25am The Allen Toussaint Touch... they'd never leave their homes. We can get along. We can get along. Montreal might eat it's young, but Montreal won't break us down. I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to keep the crowds away. I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to keep the crowds away. If you knew that these are the lyrics to ‘This is the Dream of Win and Regine’ you might like to know that Harriet, TV Gareth, Tom, Peter and I saw Owen in Bristol. Amazing.

5:00am Fun Song Factory 5:10am Engie 5:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted Benjy 5:25am Mopatop's Shop 5:35am 6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted Pocoyo 5:50am Fun Song Factory 6:30am Wake Up with... Ewan 6:00am Winx Club 6:25am Transformers McGregor 7:00am Wake Up with...

Cybertron 6:55am Biker Mice from Mars Ewan McGregor 7:30am Whatever...

7:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 7:55am You Want 8:00am Whatever... You Sonic Underground 8:25am Coronation Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want Street 8:50am Emmerdale 9:20am The 10:00am Nothing but... 11:00am E4 Oprah Winfrey Show 10:10am Judge Judy Music: Uninterrupted 12:00pm Freshly 11:30am Coronation Street 12:00pm Squeezed Extra 1:00pm The OC Emmerdale 12:30pm The Jeremy Kyle 1:55pm Beauty and the Geek 3:00pm Show 1:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show Scrubs 3:30pm Hollyoaks 4:00pm 2:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:30pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm The Sally Jessy Raphael 4:15pm Judge Judy OC 6:00pm Hollyoaks 6:30pm Scrubs 5:30pm The New Adventures of 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends Superman 6:30pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 8:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 7:30pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 9:00pm Unanimous: The Fallout 8:30pm Runaway Bride 10:40pm 9:30pm The Blair Witch Project Coronation Street 11:10pm Test Drive 11:05pm Porn: A Family Business My Girlfriend 11:40pm Hell's Kitchen 11:45pm Porn: A Family Business Raw 12:40am ITV Play: Playdate 3:00am 12:20am Stop Treating Me Like a Kid ITV Play: Playalong 1:20am Beauty and the Geek 2:20am Porn: A Family Business 2:50am Porn: A Family Business 3:20am Switched

6:00am Darllen 'Da Fi 6:10am Yoko!

Jakamoko! Toto! 6:20am Penblwydd Pwy 6:25am Tecwyn y Tractor 6:45am Bob the Builder 7:00am Mona y Fampir 7:30am Dennis a Dannedd 7:50am Waaa! 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am The Thief of Bagdad 11:00am News at Noon 11:30am Darllen 'Da Fi 11:45am Yoko!

Jakamoko! Toto! 11:50am Penblwydd Pwy 12:00pm Tecwyn y Tractor 12:15pm Rory Peck Awards 2006 12:20pm It's Me or the Dog 12:55pm Cooking It 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:10pm Countdown 3:00pm Beyblade 3:25pm Paparazzi 3:50pm Ffeil 4:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 5:00pm The Simpsons 5:30pm Uned 5 6:30pm Newyddion 7:00pm Pobol y Cwm 7:25pm Hwyl y Noson Lawen 8:00pm Jonathan 9:00pm CNEX 9:15pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 9:45pm Unanimous 10:45pm Bo in the USA 11:20pm Jimmy Carr: Stand Up

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Airline

Bo in the USA

Pimp My Ride UK

ITV1 7.30pm

C4 9.30pm

five 6.30pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

27

SATURDAY

OCTOBER.30.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Breakfast

Film 2006

CITV:Drake & Josh

Film 2006

Showgirls

BBC1 5am

BBC2 11.45am

itv1 10.00am

BBC2 11.45am

five 10:25pm

5:00am Breakfast 9:00am Saturday Kitchen 10:30am Rachel's Favourite Food at Home 11:00am BBC News; Weather 11:10am Football Focus 12:00pm Grandstand 12:05pm International Bowls 1:10pm International Rugby Union 3:30pm Wales on Saturday 4:20pm Final Score 4:25pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 4:45pm Strictly Come Dancing 6:05pm Robin Hood 6:50pm The National Lottery: 1 vs 100 7:35pm Casualty 8:25pm Strictly Come Dancing 8:55pm BBC News; Weather 9:15pm Match of the Day I predict: Liverpool 3 - 0 Reading; Manchester United 4 - 1 Portsmouth; Fulham 1 - 3 Everton; Bolton 4 - 3 Wigan.

10:35pm The McKenzie Break 12:20am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross This week Ben Affleck, Julio Iglesias and Tenacious D all dance.

1:25am Joins BBC News 24 My Cardiff Screen Festival Diary: Wed 8 Nov Art School Confidential Thu 9 Nov SSAW Screening Fri 10 Nov Shortbus Sat 11 Nov Screen Gems 6 Sat 11 Nov Welsh Shorts Sun 12 Nov Are You Ready For Love?

Sun 12 Nov Venus Mon 13 Nov Animated Shorts Mon 13 Nov Doctor Who TV Event Mon 13 Nov Stranger Than Fiction Tue 14 Nov Hollywoodland Wed 15 Nov Half Nelson

5:00am CBeebies:Me Too! 5:20am Bob the Builder 5:30am Big Cook Little Cook 5:50am Bob's Mini Projects 6:00am CBBC:Batfink 6:10am Astro Boy 6:30am Dennis the Menace 6:55am BB3B 7:15am Legend of the Dragon 7:35am What's New Scooby-Doo? 8:00am TMi 10:45am Sportsround 11:00am See Hear 11:45am Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross This week a review of controversial comedy Borat, a feature on director Christopher Nolan, and behind the scenes on Hot Fuzz, the upcoming comedy from Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright. 12:15pm Star Trek 1:05pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 1:50pm Monk 2:30pm engage International Bowls Open 4:00pm What the Papers Say 4:10pm Flog It! 4:40pm Coast 5:40pm TOTP 2 6:15pm The Culture Show 7:15pm Porridge 8:00pm Into the West 9:30pm QI This week: Alan Davies, John Sessions, Phill Jupitus and Jimmy Carr tackle the subject of Drinking.

10:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm TOTP 2 11:05pm Bowls Extra: International Open 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:Catching the Good-Health Train 1:30am Healing the Whole 2:00am Risk 2:30am Rough Science 3:00am Rough Science 3:30am Managing Biodiversity 4:00am Snapshots: Space Forrester 4:15am Snapshots: Molecular Gastronomer

5:00am Fun Song Factory 5:10am Mopatop's Shop 5:20am Pocoyo 5:30am Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 5:55am Dora the Explorer 6:25am Lilo and Stitch 6:55am SpongeBob SquarePants 7:15am Biker Mice from Mars 7:50am Avatar 8:25am CITV:Spongebob Squarepants 8:55am CITV:The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 9:00am CITV:Shuriken School 9:30am CITV:Skyland 10:00am CITV:Drake & Josh 10:30am CITV:The New Adventures of Superman 11:30am ITV News; Weather 11:35am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:40am Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 12:40pm The Cosby Mysteries 1:40pm Agatha Christie's Sparkling Cyanide 3:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 3:40pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 3:55pm All Star Family Fortunes 4:45pm The X Factor 6:15pm Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

7:15pm The X Factor - The Result 7:55pm Afterlife 8:55pm Parkinson 10:00pm ITV News 10:15pm The Big Fight Live Who do you reckon would win in a fight between De Niro and Pacino? What about Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris? What about a Saltwater Crocodile and an Alligator? How about an Eastend fight between Pat and Mo? 11:30pm ITV Play: Make Your Play 3:35am Trading Treasures 4:00am ITV Nightscreen 4:30am ITV Early Morning News

5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Honda Formula 4 Stroke Powerboat Series 6:30am Adrenalin Rush 7:00am The Morning Line 7:55am T4:Futurama 8:25am T4:Futurama 8:50am T4:Friends 9:25am T4:Popworld 10:25am T4:Friends 10:55am T4:Totally Boyband 11:30am T4:Friends 12:00pm T4:Charmed 1:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Windsor, Wincanton and Down Royal 3:15pm A Place in the Sun 3:50pm The Beverly Hillbillies Redneck family strikes it rich from oil, and they move to Beverly Hills.

Lost for ideas in the early 1990s, Hollywood began rehashing old TV shows into movies. This was one of them. Guest spots from Dolly Parton and Zsa Zsa Gabor don’t make this rubbish any better.

5:30pm Channel 4 News 6:00pm Hitler's Holocaust 7:00pm Bremner, Bird and Fortune 8:00pm Master and Commander: the Far Side of the World During the Napoleonic Wars, a brash British captain a.k.a. Russell Crowe, pushes his ship and crew to their limits in pursuit of a formidable French war vessel around South America. Slow and dull.

10:30pm Goldplated 11:30pm 4 Music:T-Mobile Presents Twisted Carnival 12:15am 4 Music:4 Play 12:35am 4 Music:4 Play 12:50am 4 Music :Rockfeedback 1:15am The Return 3:15am South American Championship Football 4:10am Countdown 4:55am Inuk

5:00am Sunrise 5:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 6:10am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 6:30am The Little Princess 6:45am Make Way for Noddy 7:00am Franklin 7:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 8:05am Jane and the Dragon 8:35am Blue Water High 9:05am Hercules: Legendary Journeys 10:05am Harry and Cosh 10:30am Drums across the River 11:45am Wyoming Renegades 1:10pm Columbo: Lady in Waiting 2:45pm Asterix & Obelix: Mission Cleopatra Funny just to watch Christian Clavier's exuberance and Gérard Depardieu's buffoonery.

4:20pm Gold 6:20pm NCIS 6:30pm five news and sport 6:40pm NCIS 7:30pm NCIS 8:25pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9:25pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 10:25pm Showgirls A young drifter named Nomi, arrives in Las Vegas to become a dancer and soon sets about clawing and pushing her way to become the top of the Vegas showgirls.

Directed by Paul “show me your beaver” Verhoeven, this is a masterpiece in ironic cheese featuring the best sex scene since Demon House, with Elizabeth Berkley (of Saved by the Bell fame) riding Kyle MacLachlan in a swimming pool in the fuck of his life.

12:45am The Great Big British Quiz 4:35am Wildlife SOS

6:00pm Top Gear 7:00pm Walking with Sea Monsters 8:25pm Torchwood 9:20pm Torchwood 10:10pm Torchwood 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Three's Outtakes 12:30am Torchwood 1:20am Torchwood 2:10am Torchwood Well Marie Antoinette was fantastic and it made my week. The ever sultry Kirsten Dunst had my heart fluttering at several intervals, in particular her exit from a bath, drenched drape clinging to her wet body. Quite possibly the equal if not better Darcy/Colin Firth bit in Pride & Prejudice but for men; straight men that is. I seem to be the only person that thinks Marie Antoinette is great. I can’t be wrong; can I? Or could I be biased because of the visuals that mostly contain the fantastically attractive Kirsten Dunst?

6:00pm Forbidden Shostakovich: Symphony No 5 7:30pm The House of Chanel 8:00pm Bad Education 9:35pm Chief Braveheart 10:40pm Montana Cowboys 11:40pm The Allen Toussaint Touch 12:40am Saving Jazz 1:40am Kirsty Wark Talks to Alison Jackson 2:10am Montana Cowboys My Cardiff Screen Festival cont: Thu 16 Nov Free Jimmy Thu 16 Nov Starfish Hotel Fri 17 Nov The Uncertain Guest Sat 18 Nov Merthyr Media Project Sat 18 Nov Big Nothing The Big Nothing screening is £12 a ticket, it states ‘Special Guests In Attendance’ and the film stars none other than Simon Pegg. Lets hope two plus two equals four in this case...

5:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 6:20am MacDonald's Farm 7:25am Mags and Mo 7:30am Bug Alert! 7:50am The Wheels on the Bus 8:00am Teleshopping 8:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 11:10am Coronation Street Omnibus 1:35pm Holiday Showdown 2:40pm Nanny 911 3:35pm Movies Now 3:45pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 4:45pm Planet's Funniest Animals 5:15pm Nanny 911 6:15pm Xtra Factor 7:15pm Planet's Funniest Animals 7:45pm Celebrity Daredevils 7:55pm Xtra Factor: Results 8:40pm The Flintstones 10:25pm The X Factor 11:25pm The X Factor - The Result 12:10am ITV Play: Playdate 2:30am Emmerdale Omnibus

5:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 9:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:00am Nothing but... Rod Stewart 11:00am Nothing but... Do You Think I'm Sexy? 12:00pm Nothing but... Do You Think I'm Sexy? 1:00pm The Album Chart Show 1:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 4:00pm Friends 4:35pm Friends 5:05pm Wife Swap 6:05pm Invasion 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm 100 Greatest Funny Moments 12:10am Porn: A Family Business 12:50am Bo in the USA 1:20am Wife Swap 2:20am The Album Chart Show 2:45am Switched 3:10am Switched 3:30am Nokia Isle of Wight Festival 2006

5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Honda Formula 4 Stroke Powerboat Series 6:30am Adrenalin Rush 7:00am The Morning Line 7:55am Futurama 8:20am Friends 8:50am Freaky 9:20am Friends 9:45am Charmed 10:40am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 11:30am Slave to Fashion 12:30pm Totally Boyband 1:00pm Y Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol 3:35pm Deal or No Deal 4:20pm The Love Letter 6:10pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 6:45pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 7:00pm Marathon Eryri 8:00pm Tipit 8:35pm CNEX 8:50pm Master and Commander: the Far Side of the World 11:15pm Bremner, Bird and Fortune 12:20am Antwone Fisher 2:20am Gumball 3000 2:45am South American Championship Football 3:35am KOTV

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

28 gairrhydd

SUNDAY

OCTOBER.30.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Holby City

Animal Park

BBC1 12.30am

BBC2 11.00am

5:00am Breakfast 6:35am Match of the Day 8:00am Sunday AM 9:00am Heaven and Earth with Gloria Hunniford 10:00am Countryfile 11:00am The Politics Show 12:00pm The Politics Show 12:05pm EastEnders The Truemans and the Foxes deal with some difficult revelations. Honey reaches breaking point and makes some huge decisions. Jane and Ian's relationship is on rocky ground. Sean thwarts Ruby's plans.

2:00pm Rugby Union 4:40pm As Time Goes By 5:10pm Songs of Praise 5:45pm Antiques Roadshow 6:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 7:00pm The Great British Summer Summer...Britain...don’t make me laugh 8:00pm Planet Earth 9:00pm BBC News; Weather 9:15pm Panorama 9:55pm Ordinary Decent Criminal This is a thinly veiled attempt to retell the story of real-life Irish criminal Martin Cahill. Here, Kevin Spacey plays Cahill, the cocky Dublin gangster who spends his days robbing the rich, annoying the police and falling foul of the IRA before going home to his wife and her sister.

11:30pm Sign Zone:Who Do You Think You Are? 12:30am Sign Zone:Holby City 1:30am Sign Zone:Antiques Roadshow 2:20am Joins BBC News 24 Film editor Ewen Hosie + Fancy waistcoat + 2 chavs = An angry Scotsman in a dumpster

5:00am CBeebies:Me Too! 5:20am Bob the Builder 5:30am Big Cook Little Cook 5:50am Bob's Mini Projects 6:00am CBBC:Batfink 6:10am Legend of the Dragon 6:30am Smile 9:00am Something for the Weekend 10:30am Planet Food 11:00am Animal Park 11:30am Sunday Grandstand 11:35am Rugby League Tri-Nations 12:15pm International Bowls 2:30pm Mackenna's Gold The concept: a western about hidden Apache gold with more stars in the cast than there are twists, swindles and red herrings in the plot. Yet it is predictable, but some may say that is its charm. 4:30pm Search for Mountain Lions 5:00pm Wild Dive: Channel Islands 5:10pm Natural World 6:00pm Strictly Come Dancing 7:00pm Scrum V 7:50pm To Be Announced 8:00pm Paul Weller: Into Tomorrow 9:00pm Match of the Day 2 My predictions: Tottenham 0 - 2 Chelsea; West Ham 0 3 Arsenal; Aston Villa 0 - 4 Blackburn.

Can you tell I’m a Blackburn fan?

10:10pm The Catherine Tate Show 10:40pm The Electric Proms: Paul Weller Live 11:25pm Arrested Development 11:50pm Arrested Development 12:10am Joins BBC News 24 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: WorkSkills for BusinessGetting Started 2:00am Dragon's Den 3:00am Welcome to the Cybermarket 4:00am Big Ambitions

5:00am The Sunday Programme 6:20am Power Rangers SPD 6:55am Totally Spies! 7:30am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:05am Emperor's New School 8:25am CITV:Art Attack 8:50am CITV:Planet Sketch 9:00am The Championship 10:00am The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 11:00am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:05am The Way We Worshipped 11:35am Wales Soccer Sunday 12:05pm The X Factor 1:35pm The X Factor - The Result 2:15pm Fletch Chevy Chase stars here as the investigative reporter with a sideline in disguises and witty repartee. Uprooted from Malibu beach by a millionaire who orders his own murder, Chase stumbles and bumbles through a corkscrew plot. Sleek, glossy and often very funny from the co-writer of Blazing Saddles.

4:10pm All Star Family Fortunes 5:00pm The Food Show 5:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:40pm ITV News; Weather 6:00pm Emmerdale 6:30pm Coronation Street 7:00pm Heartbeat 8:00pm A Touch of Frost 10:00pm ITV News 10:10pm The South Bank Show 11:10pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 11:30pm ITV Play: Make Your Play 11:40pm Faith and Music 3:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:00am ITV Nightscreen 4:30am ITV Early Morning News

5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Trans World Sport 6:55am Adrenalin Rush 7:25am Freesports on 4 7:55am T4:Popworld 8:40am T4:Friends 9:15am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:45am T4:Girls Aloud: Live and Lovely 12:45pm T4:Unanimous 1:55pm T4:Smallville: Superman the Early Years 2:55pm T4:Charmed 3:55pm Wild Thing I Love You 4:55pm Deal or No Deal 5:40pm Time Team Special 6:45pm Channel 4 News 7:00pm The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring In the first chapter of director Peter Jackson's $300-million adaptation of JRR Tolkien's classic trilogy, in which Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) is forced to turn hero when he inherits the ring of absolute power. Assisted by powerful wizard Gandalf and a ragtag group of warriors and friends, he must journey across mountain, forest and plain to return the talisman to its source.

Homo-erotic undertones. Like Voodoo Academy but with lots of walking.

10:15pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:50pm Partypoker.com Late Night Poker Masters 11:55pm 4Music Presents... Gnarls Barkley 12:30am The Album Chart Show 1:00am FIVB Beach Volleyball 2:00am South American Championship Football 2:55am KOTV 3:20am Honda Formula 4 Stroke Powerboat Series 3:45am Adrenalin Rush 4:10am Countdown 4:55am Inuk

5:00am The Save-Ums! 5:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 5:35am Sailor Sid 5:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 5:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 6:10am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 6:30am The Little Princess 6:45am Make Way for Noddy 6:55am Sandy and Mr Flapper 7:00am Franklin 7:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 8:00am Jane and the Dragon 8:30am The Secret of Eel Island 8:45am Demolition Dad 9:00am Round the Twist 9:35am Over the Sea to School 10:05am Snobs 10:35am Michaela's Wild Challenge 11:05am A Different Life 11:35am Revelations 12:05pm five news update 12:15pm Built for the Kill 12:50pm Finian's Rainbow 3:30pm James and the Giant Peach The director of The Nightmare Before Christmas Henry Selcik, executes yet another fine work.

4:50pm five news and sport 5:05pm Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Gene Wilder stars here as the wild-eyed candy-maker ruthlessly sorting out the honest from the two-faced among the child winners of a tour of his sweetmeat depot.

7:00pm Make Me a Supermodel 8:00pm Gothika It’s hard to fathom that La Haine director Mathieu Kassovitz, directed this shambolic mess. Halle Berry is consistly awful as ever. Only to be watched in irony.

10:00pm World's Wildest Police Videos 11:00pm The X Games XII

6:00pm Lara Croft: Tomb Raider 7:30pm Celebrity Scissorhands 8:30pm Little Britain 9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm Celebrity Scissorhands 10:50pm Celebrity Scissorhands Streaming 12:50am Torchwood 1:40am Torchwood De-Classified 1:55am Grime Scene Investigation 2:25am The Indestructibles Johnny's in the basement Mixing up the medicine I'm on the pavement Thinking about the government The man in the trench coat Badge out, laid off Says he's got a bad cough Wants to get it paid off Look out kid It's somethin' you did God knows when But you're doin' it again You better duck down the alley way Lookin' for a new friend

6:00pm Planet Earth 7:00pm The House of Chanel 7:30pm Joyce Grenfell: Comedy with Breeding 8:30pm Kirsty Wark Talks to Janine Di Giovanni 9:00pm The Haunted Airman 10:10pm The Late Edition 10:40pm Joyce Grenfell: Comedy with Breeding 12:40am The Haunted Airman 12:50am The Late Edition 1:20am Kirsty Wark Talks to Janine Di Giovanni 1:50am Joyce Grenfell: Comedy with Breeding The synopsis of Marie Antoinette if you’re interested: The retelling of iconic but ill-fated French queen Marie Antoinette. From her betrothal and marriage to Louis XVI at 15 to queen consort at 19 and to her beheading in 1793 at the age of 38.

5:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 5:25am Mopatop's Shop 5:35am Engie Benjy 5:45am Fun Song Factory 5:55am Pocoyo 6:10am Fun Song Factory 6:20am Power Rangers Space Patrol Delta 6:55am Totally Spies! 7:30am Emperor's New School 8:05am Spongebob Squarepants 8:25am The New Adventures of Superman 9:25am Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

10:25am All Star Family Fortunes 11:15am Emmerdale Omnibus 2:00pm The Flintstones 3:40pm Coronation Street Omnibus 6:05pm The X Factor 7:35pm The X Factor 8:15pm Xtra Factor 9:00pm Entourage 9:30pm The Office: An American Workplace 10:00pm Coronation Street 10:30pm Entourage 11:00pm The Office 11:30pm Supernatural 12:30am ITV Play: Playdate 3:00am ITV Play: Playalong

5:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 9:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:00am Nothing but... Bon Jovi 11:00am Nothing but... Hall of Fame 12:00pm Nothing but... Hall of Fame 1:10pm Popworld 2:00pm Young, Sexy and... Rockin' 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm Scrubs 5:30pm The War at Home 6:00pm One Tree Hill 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm Ghost Whisperer 9:00pm The Sopranos 10:10pm Hollyoaks: In the City 11:10pm Scrubs 11:40pm The War at Home 12:10am Ghost Whisperer 1:05am The Sopranos 1:55am Hollyoaks: In the City 2:55am Reunion 3:35am Switched 3:55am Switched 4:20am Switched

5:10am The Hoobs 5:35am The Hoobs 6:00am Trans World Sport 6:55am Adrenalin Rush 7:25am Freesports on 4 7:55am Hollyoaks Omnibus 10:30am Charmed 11:30am Yr Wythnos 12:00pm Rownd a Rownd 12:30pm Rownd a Rownd 12:55pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 2:50pm Cwpwrdd Dillad 3:20pm Chez Dudley 4:20pm Y Clwb Rygbi 6:25pm 04 Wal 6:55pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 7:25pm Mastermind Cymru 8:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 9:05pm Newyddion 9:20pm The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring As before. Lots of walking. The sequel is also full of ‘lots of walking’. The finale is also ‘lots of walking’. Then a midget boy puts a ring into a hot hole. Gee, this sounds homo-erotic.

12:35am Dil To Pagal Hai 3:50am Unreported World

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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gairrhydd

29

PROBLEM PAGE

OCTOBER.30.2006 PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

The de Ville’s Advocate This week: I take the shackles off my feet so I can dance...

Highlights for a sunkissed look

Vanity is a terrible sin.

So are quiffs

A fuller look for voluminous voraciousness

Subtle yet sexy backcombing

Jerry Hall once remarked that a woman should be a whore in the kitchen, a whore in the living room and a whore in the shed. I quite agree. I’ve still never understood why she left that dishy Brian Ferry. I bet she’s kicking herself now that those new Marks and Sparks ads have come out. He’s quite the crumpet isn’t he?

Since I’m old and find even the sound of my own wheezing hilarious, this joke is literally the most amusing thing I’ve heard since The Morcambe and Wise show ended: There was once a little boy who loved tractors so much that he was bordering on an obsessive compulsive disorder.

He had tractor wallpaper, tractor trading cards, tractor toys, tractor bedcovers, a tractor pencil case and so on.

I'm sure you get the picture by now. His mother was sure that his obsession would naturally run its course once he entered adolesence, but she was wrong. This boy was mad on tractors even at the age of 18.

He had no friends, not even the faintest hint of a girlfriend and no job.

One day she decided to confront him and suggest that he should perhaps seek some sort of professional help if he was unable to stop this unhealthy fixation. Sure enough, the boy redecorated his bedroom and chucked out all his tractor paraphenalia. A few months passed and he got a girlfriend and a job pulling pints in his local pub. His life had changed for the better and his boss was so impressed with his bartending skills that he awarded him a payrise.

The landlord asked the boy (who had now become his valued sage) if there was a way for him to keep all his regular customers but reduce the amount of smoke in the pub, without segregation.

"No problem" said the boy as he began to inhale deeply. The landlord watched in amazment as the boy proceeded to breathe in all the smoke in the pub. He then went outside and exhaled all the fumes into the open air.

"How the hell did you do that? " said the stunned landlord.

"I'm an ex-tractor fan" said the boy.

SIDESPLITTING. Peace out.

It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside Dear Grace, I have a terrible, dark secret.

It’s so disturbing that I often defecate my undergarments when I look in the mirror. Every time that I take a glimpse at my reflection I’m reminded of the monster that lurks beneath the rather attractive façade.

I’m hesitant to even disclose this information to someone as trusted as your good self for fear of my true identity being exposed and my life being more horrific than it already is. I’m expecting an angry mob wielding chair legs and the hands of executed prisoners to be banging on my door at any minute. I lie awake at night drowning in the sheer magnitude of my

depravity and cannot continue this pathetic excuse for an existence. Can you help me?

Anthony Hopkinson, Roath P.S. Are Haribo Tangfastic sweets vegetarian?

I’m often asked if I know the secret to maintaining both your mind and your bodily functions as you enter your twilight years. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over my epic and fantastical journey through the magical voyage of life, it’s that everything is a pissing LIE. Jane Fonda may look good for a sixty-year-old, but there’s bound to be some Tena lady lurking in her bathroom cabinet.

Lloyd Grossman never actually

tasted the food on Masterchef.

Following a supposed assassination attempt when a disgruntled runner-up tried to serve him a salad made from daffodil leaves, he cleverly constructed a mouthcondom so that he didn’t have to swallow the dishes. This caused him to talk with a strange accent and his entire family in his hometown of Blackburn disowned him.

He therefore judged the dishes purely on their consistency, which is probably why a lot of blancmanges and jellies made it to the finals.

Haribo is an anagram of “Hi, Boar”. I think that answers your question.

Love. xx

Why are my fingers pointed?

Dear Grace, The girls in my house often tease me about my pointy fingers and silly hair. I think they’re all slags with stupid rara skirts and orange legs but I’m mature enough to keep my opinions to myself. I’m baffled by the sheer evilness of the female race. What’s their problem?

For your information, I used to suffer from calluses on my hands when I was young. To help me overcome this problem, the doctor suggested it might be a good idea to sharpen the tips of my fingers with a pencil sharpener in order to ‘shave’ off the excess hard skin. Unfortunately I ended up with conical digits. My hair is also the brunt of their scorn. I have a weird-shaped ‘whorl’ and my fringe sticks up like the peak of a boy racer’s cap. I’m basically fucked off with living

in a house of ‘It’ girls. They call me horrible names like “Edward BiroHands” How can I get the dirty tramps back?

Jason Argo Naught 2nd year Biology Jason, Revenge is a dish best served to Lloyd Grossman. You shouldn’t waste your time on these clap-ridden harlots. While you’re clearly not better than them, you certainly aren’t much worse. I don’t really like the sound of any of you, but if you feel that you need to exact your retribution on these brazen hussies then I suggest you heed the advice of someone like me.

I’ve lived a long and bitter life.

In the (g)olden days you could get away with much more. A little bleach in the tea or a death treat here and there and the problem was usually resolved in a curt

manner. Nowadays you have to be so bloody careful. It’s political correctness gone mad. My father always used to say that you could talk about anything at the dinner table apart from sex, religion and politics. Why not offend your fellow hovel-dwellers with a spot of inappropriate banquet banter?

Cook them a roast and bring up the subject of genocide or Virginia Bottomley.

If you can’t bear their company enough to sit through a meal, you could always ring a set of parents and tell them that their daughter sells her body.

The menopause sorted out my anger considerably. There’s nothing like the shrivelling of one’s loins to calm and compose oneslf.

In a few year’s time you’ll be so angry about the queue for the bus that important issues will seem like a breeze.

Stay Calm. xx

I’ve been to hell and back this week to try and solve the sack-loads of conundrums that get sent my way. As usual, I’ve only managed two and the rest’ll have to wait. I’m a busy woman with better things to think about. Like Tom Selleck.

gairrhydd

33

GRAB!

OCTOBER.30.2006 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

Bollywood Delight I

F YOU’RE looking for something a little different this week, how does a bit of Bollywood action take your fancy?

The glitz, the glamour, the drama, the dance spectacular...this is the first musical from the home of the multi million dollar Bollywood film industry that is heading for Cardiff.

The Merchants of Bollywood is a live dance extravaganza like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Featuring a cast of 30 actors, singers and dancers, this show will fill Wales Millenium Centre stage with all the

glitter, glamour, romance and allure that is Bollywood. The first authentic musical to come direct from Bollywood city is a theatrical dance spectacular which charts the enchanting history of the world's largest and most prolific film industry, and a dynasty of stars that have lit its way over generations. The show transcends time - a touching tribute to the Bollywood greats of yesterday and the hits of today featuring a cast of 40 dancers, singers and actors direct from Film City Mumbai – the home of Bollywood Cinema.

Written and directed by Toby Gough, featuring music by Salim and Sulaiman Merchant and choreographed by leading film choreographer Vaibhavi Merchant, The Merchants of Bollywood follows the story of Ayesha Merchant, her grandfather Shantilal, and the inevitable clash of generations and ambition.

The Merchants of Bollywood, based on the real life story of the show’s choreographer Vaibhavi Merchant, is a mixture of dreams and sacrifices, family rebellion and romance. Merchant is an award-win-

impaired Blind Dates, the randy Passion Fruit and the shady Alley Carrots are amongst the side-dish proportioned characters to be found at www.violentveg.com.

Have a laugh with a whole crop of veggie jokes found in the gallery section or pick-your-own produce in the new online shop! You can design your own stuff, from underwear to t-shirts and mouse mats, choosing from a range of colours, styles and designs.

Likely to cause a real stir is the Violent Veg week-toview desk calendar, which lets you pick your own edgilyhumorous image for each month, week or day. It is complemented by a glossy desk diary, that’s crammed full of 365 juicy dates, and by a joke book that’s 100% pure Violent Veg images.

And for being oh-so-unique and individual they’re not that badly priced - so a Violent Veg prezzie really is as cool as a cucumber!

Us ladies at grab have teamed up with Violent Veg to offer you the chance to win the most hilarious tshirts around.

S

OME PEOPLE have far too much time on their hands. The crazy people from Violent Veg have use their creative juices to come up with a really unique way of playing with their leftovers.

Violent Veg are the most bizarre family of characters and you can wear them loud and proud on a range of Tshirts, posters and goodies all themed with a unique set of herbaceous horrors, described by their creators as ‘slightly inoffensive’.

The hard-core Corn Stars, the amorous yet sight-

We are giving away a Classic T t-shirt to five lucky winners – just email us with the answer to ‘How many portions of fruit and veg should you eat a day?’ and don’t forget to tell us what size t-shirt you want – S, M, L, XL or XXL.

ning choreographer within the film industry and is highly respected and admired by Bollywood’s A-list stars.

Having choreographed such huge box office smashes as Lagaan, Devdas, Rang de Basanti and Dhoom, she is currently working on the long awaited remake of the classic Umrao Jaan, starring Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwariya Rai. Vaibhavi Merchant said: “I wanted to create a new and truly authentic show that audiences across the world could relate to. Bollywood has become a huge industry, not just for Asians, but for everyone.

Anyone with even a remote interest in Asian culture will know about Bollywood, but may not have experienced it in all its glory. The Merchants of Bollywood is colourful, dynamic, vibrant and for me the most exciting project I have worked on. The UK has shown a growing fascination for Indian films and I wanted to bring some of the amazing talent that is a core part of Indian films to the UK for audiences to get a live Bollywood experience.”

Harvey Goldsmith said: “I was taken to see the show by a friend in Australia and fell in love with it on the spot. I was just enveloped by the fantastic atmosphere in the audience.

The team have created a truly amazing spectacle of colour and culture, for which I can take no credit at all.

I am just giving UK audiences the opportunity to be a part of an invigorating and extraordinary experience.”

Set to some of the most memorable songs and music from Bollywood films, The Merchants of Bollywood has already been hailed as a spectacular success by audiences and critics in Australia. It will be touring the UK this autumn, and opens at the Wales Millennium Centre on Tuesday 12 December, running until the 17th.

If you think that this is right up your street, or maybe you just fancy a taste of the orient for a change then just drop us an email at the usual address to win one of five pairs of tickets that we have to give away.

Access All Areas ...with grab

F

RIDAYS ARE all change in the union this year. No longer is it a sweaty pit cum cattle market that is rather resemblent of Come Play, instead you can expect a night of funky tunes, all out dancing and cheap drinks to embrace the weekend with!

Access All Areas is an alternative night where you’re more likely to hear the latest from cool peeps such as The Killers, Kasabian and classics from Ash, Muse and kick-ass DJs such as Fatboy Slim and Pendulem rather than Girls Aloud and Justin Timberlake...(although we do all love a bit of JT). So you can expect a mish-mash of alternative and stylish from the DJs. Those fancy folks who run your

union are also getting all technical, and soon for the first time ever, you'll be able to vote for your favourite playlist before the night even begins!

So there’s really no excuse for not going down for a boogie when it’s your tunes you’ll be shaking your stuff too.

If you fancy a bit of the action...or would just be rather doing anything than watching Eastenders, again, then Access All Areas is the place for you.

We’ve managed to grab enough guest list tickets for your whole house this Friday.

To enter, just get your emails to me asap as it will be first come, first served.

What a feast of prizes I bring to you this week! Everything from crazy vegetables to a taste of the orient, with a sprinkling of Union fun thrown in for good measure. Those of you that already know how this competitions game works have been winning some awesome prizes already (The rest of you don’t know what you’re missing out on!). DAN MCKEE will be cooking up a storm with his fancy new microwave, MENNA HAWKINS is off to rave the night away at Bass Invaders, STEPH LAMB sang along to all the hits at Guys and Dolls, SARAH HOMER swooned over American trio Orson, and EMMA RANDALL is having a night in with her new friend...Malibu. Well done guys and best of luck for this week. X.

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

34 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

OCTOBER.30.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This week: Listings, as always, gives you the best of what’s on in Cardiff, with

The Happy Prince @ Sherman Theatre Mon. Oct 30 11am/ £5

Listings Editor Rosaria Sgueglia recommends

H

ello, this week I have had a truly Wilde inspiration. Don’t jump to the wrong conclusions, even if you aren’t a Wilde addict, this can be a good opportunity to enjoy one of his best masterpieces.

Here are just three reasons to explain why: Firstly, I recommend this story because Oscar Wilde is Oscar

We Are Scientists @ SU Wed. Nov 01 7.30pm Listings editor Rosanne White recommends

W

e Are Scientists are set to charm with their enthusiastic brand of rock in the Great Hall on November 1. The gig is part of ‘The Biggest Tour in the History of Life Tour’, which began on October 20 and is set to end on

Coming Up

Wilde. Even if you have never read The Happy Prince, Oscar’s fame as a brilliant novelist suggests it should be good.

The author of The Portrait of Dorian Grey, The Importance of Being Earnest, Saome and many others wouldn’t be able to deceive your expectations. The Happy Prince in fact recalls all those particular characteristics which distinguish Oscar Wilde’s work from the others.

In other words, in this story we experience his romantic attitudes, his altruistic spirit, his esthetical ability and his class superiority, with The Happy Prince’s plot being a mix of all these aspects.

This is the story of a metal statue who becomes friends with a migratory bird, and they will help all the poor and sick of the city, undressing the Happy Prince’s statue from all its gold and the diamonds. Together

November 23.

Any self-respecting indie lover will be aware of WAS, recently described as the “Missing evolutionary stage between the good Killers and the less good Boy Kill Boy.” Their debut album With Love and Squalor features most notably the foot-stomping Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt which topped the NME chart in April, knocking off the seemingly invincible Arctic Monkeys.

The trio, from Claremont, California, are comprised of Keith Murray on guitar and lead vocals, Chris Cain on bass guitar and backing vocals and Michael Tapper on drums andbbacking vocals. They formed the band in 2000, moving to New York in 2001 and have since produced three self-released EPs as well as With Love And Squalor. New album Crap Attack is also set for release on November 6 and will hopefully enjoy the same success as the debut.

they aim to bring some happiness to others in life and in “death”.

The end of the story is not upbeat, as The Happy Prince comments and in the conclusion, clearly criticizes the society of the time..

This show by the Sherman theatre company promises to be an amazing event. This year, the company is planning to provide another show addressed to all the children’s literature lovers. The Happy Prince is only the first of a range of emotional masterpieces played by the Sherman theatre company: The second one will be in January with Andersen’s fairy tales.

Charmed by Oscar Wilde’s world? Don’t miss this impressive event, you know, if there are tales which can never be old fashioned, then surely The Happy Prince is one of them.

Circulus @ Clwb Ifor Bach Thurs. Nov 2 8pm/ £6 Listings Editor Jenna Harris recommends

W

ith flute solos, crumhorns and lyrics like “Her body is full of light,” Circulus are one of the most random yet strangely alluring bands around.

A medieval folk and rock group that oscillates between prog rockers doing medieval revival music and a more generic rock band, their appeal lies in their out-and-out weirdness. So un-cutting edge that they manage to become so by virtue of doing the opposite of every other band on earth, they wear all of the pointy hats, velvet cloaks and funny boots that you would expect of the medieval era, but alongside the shawms and citterns are bongos and electric guitars.

The music veers from the more ‘authentic’ early music à la My Body, a choral song filled with startling crescendos and random flute playing,

to a folk/rock hybrid, which is where it all really comes together. Swallow effectively blends a modern vocal performance, guitar and a solid melody to good effect, while Power to the Pixies is a psychedelic paean to the lost world of forest-dwelling mythical figures.

Début album The Lick on the Tip of a Letter Yet to Be Sent was received well and described by The Observer Music Monthly as “Mixing the best of 1970 with the best of 1270.”

New album Clocks are Like People is a musical progression for the band who say that their music is a “Gentle fist fight between a group of under nourished sixteenth century court musicians and an acid soaked bunch of hippie rockers from the early Seventies.” Signed to Rise Above Records, a label that specialises in ‘doom Metal’, Circulus remain staunchly eccentric, with singer/guitarist/saz/cittern player Michael Tyack citing his ultimate style icon as Philip the Good, the Duke of Burgundy from 1419 to 1467.

If you were looking for an escape from the bombardment of indie haircut bands and skinny-jeaned emo wailers, then Circulus are it. Proudly anti-fashion, anti-cool and anti-hype, they may dress oddly, but it’s a damn sight better than the lazy, semi-Chav-esque stylings (hello, tracksuit tops) of Artic Monkeys.

Circulus should be commended for reviving early British music and mingling it with modern songwriting techniques to create captivating music that is unique to their musical peers.

Describing their sound as “Generating rock music of the thoughtful, sometimes epic, often loud, vaguely danceable, implicitly humanist variety,” the group are known for their boundless energy and slightly worrying obsession with cats, which often feature on their artwork.

It’s been a busy year for the trio, who featured in the 2006 NME Shockwaves tour, alongside Arctic Monkeys, Mystery Jets and Maximo Park, while also playing at Manumission’s Bar M during Ibiza Rocks in July. They also performed a cover of Sigur Ros’ Hoppipolla in Jo Whiley’s Live Lounge and accepted the British Breakthrough Act at this year’s BRIT Awards on behalf of the Arctic Monkeys.

Whether you’re aware of them or not, WAS are set to rock. With a mix of high energy, banter and great music, they will get you dancing.

...An Inconvenient Truth -3-8 Nov @ Chapter Arts Centre...Hayseed Dixie -7 Nov @ Coal Exchange...Cosmic Rough Riders – 7 Nov @ Barfly… Yo La Tengo -7 Nov @ The Point… James Taylor Quartet -9 Nov @ The Point… John Power 11 Nov @The Point...Rumble Strips -11 Nov @ Barfly…

Mötorhead -11 Nov @ SU… Juliette Lewis and the Licks -14 Nov @ SU… Magic Numbers -16 Nov @ SU…The Charlatans -25 Nov @ SU... The Heights - 27 Nov @ Barfly... Brakes -28 Nov @ The Point... The Damned -12 Dec @ The Point...

gairrhydd

35

LISTINGS

OCTOBER.30.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

We Are Scientsts, The Happy Prince and Circulus.

Monday

30/10

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative sweat fest.10pm2am. £3.

X Factory @ The Taf The University’s student radio station shows off its best DJs. 9pm-1am. Free with NUS. I-Candy @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ latest superclub. £3/4 NUS. Movie Monday @ Molokos DJs, new music, live bands. 7pm. Free.

The Others+ The RaceWalke @ Barfly Already with a huge army of rabid fans following the band's non-stop work schedule, there's "something about the way they play, pogo-ing along as part of the crowd which transforms The Others from an awful band to an incredible prospect"Don’t miss them.7.30.£6.

Volver @ Chapter Arts Centre Almodóvar’s latest is a vibrant melodrama with a passion and palette that are distinctly Spanish. Penélope Cruz stars as working mother Raimunda, who returns to the village where she grew up, to visit her mother’s grave with her sister Sole and teenage daughter. Rumours abound that her mother’s ghost (Carmen Maura) has appeared and is caring for a frail old aunt.

Sure enough, she soon appears to Sole, hops in the boot of her car, and takes up residence in her Madrid flat, hiding under the bed whenever callers come round.

Meanwhile, Raimunda, too, has a secret…

Pick Of The Day Will Duke - Virtual Velocity @ Chapter Arts CentreWill Duke creates animations based on real-world environments which he photographs and re-creates ‘virtually’ within 3d design software. Once created, the environments are animated to varying degrees of complexity. 12/10pm.Looking for information? Contact http://www.willduke.net/.

Friday 03/11 Puressence / Film / Selfish Kings @ Barfly Don't be fooled by their nondescript appearance, this is atmosphere you can taste from the same school as Joy Division, Chameleons and, yes, U2.

Exquisitely simple love songs, Funkadelic jams and symphonic grooves – they’re all here and carried away on the singer’s gorgeous choral range. 7.30pm.£10.

An Inconvenient Truth @ Chapter Arts Centre This Sundance Film Festival hit offers a passionate look at one man’s crusade to halt the deadly progress of global warming by exposing the myths and misconceptions that surround it. In the wake of defeat in the 2000 American election, former Vice President Al Gore re-set the course of his life to focus on a last-ditch, all-out effort to save the planet from irrevocable change.6.15pm.£5.10.

The Global Search for New Musicals @ Chapter Arts CentreFollowing the great successes of the Global Search for New Musicals as part of the inaugural Festival in 2002 and 2005, we are delighted once again to present the best in new musical theatre writing from around the world.Join us for a three day programme, to discover the talents of composers, lyricists and librettists.7pm.£10.

Pick of the Day Peppermint Patti / Loose present Neko Case / Visqueen @ Clwb Ifor Bach Over the past five years, Neko Case has emerged as one of the finest female singers of her generation. The Canadian redhead's unique, instantly recognizable voice, evokes husky torch singers of another era.7.pm. £8.50.

Tuesday

31/10

Forecast @ Buffalo BarA weekly clubnight.

Something of a night of hidden treasures: Representing under-represented music. www.weareforecast.com 8pm-3am. £6.

Planet Rock@Clwb Ifor Bac Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth”. Drinks promotions and you can email song requests. Alternatively, myspace at www.myspace.com/planet_rock_club9pm2pm. £3.

Rooster+ Get Amped@Barfly Chart-flirtin’ London foursome who seemed to be TOTP; CD:UK; and Popworld residents all last year and now back with a great new album. Remember those big chorus pop rock epics 'Staring at the Sun' and the No 7 single 'Come Get Some' that you used to sing in the shower - yet totally denied? Well, the new album is full of that.730pm.£10.

Jazz On The Level @S.t David’s Hall Anarchic, subversive and deeply hilarious, Atzmon’s latest project sees him assuming the character of Jewish jazzman Artie Fishel; a brilliant but mad saxophonist who is convinced that jazz isn’t a black American art form but was born in the ghettos of Eastern Europe. Artie is determined to bring jazz back to where it belongs.8 pm.£10.

Pick Of The Day Orbit Theatre: Carousel@NewTheatre This wonderful production of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s award winning musical masterpiece sees the lovable rogue Billy Bigelow falling in love with the beautiful Julie Jordan at the carousel ride.

A dramatic and tender love story full of classic and much loved songs including If I Loved You, What’s the Use of Wondering, When I Marry Mr. Snow, and the unforgettable You’ll Never Walk Alone. Carousel guarantees you a ride you will not forget.www.newtheatrecf.co.uk

Wednesday 01/11

Thursday 02/11

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. On one, classic funk and motown, another indie classics and brand new music, and on the final floor, cheese. 9.30pm. £3.

Enter Shikari+ :( + Saidmike @ Barfly Sega Megadrive-influenced euphoric synths and a stage presence of Hiroshima proportions … please welcome four St Albans teenagers, mates since Junior School and now possibly the best unsigned brutally-hardcore band in Britain.7.30pm.£6.

Mistys Big Adventure plus special guest Kate Goes @ ThePoint Newly signed to the Sunday Best label, the band who made waves when they released 'The Black Hole' album last year will be touring in support of their new single 'Fashion Parade', out at the end of October. The band has been personally picked for tours with the likes of The Zutons, Magic Numbers & The Guillemots, it won’t be long until they'll be that big.7.30pm.£6.

Hammer Horror Double Bill: Twins of Evil + Countess Dracula @ Chapter Arts Centre The witching season is upon us once more, and we’re delighted to bring you sparkling new prints of two 1971 Hammer classics.

Don’t forget to bring a friend to grab hold of or hide behind!7.30pm.£5.10 Akeela and the Bee @ Chapter Arts Centre This inspirational drama tells the story of Akeelah Anderson, an eleven-year-old girl from south Los Angeles with a gift for words.

Despite the objections of her mother, Akeelah enters various spelling contests, for which she is tutored by the forthright Dr Larabee. Her aptitude earns her an opportunity to compete for a spot in a National Spelling Bee, and her courage and talent in turn unite the proud residents of her neighbourhood.7.30pm.£5.10.

The Bait Shop (Club Night) @ BarflyFor all those who want a student night with an alternative twist. At the Baitshop there are upcoming trends whilst keeping a finger in the pie of those gone by. They’ve got everything from Deathcab and The Shins through to Basement Jaxx and the Chemical Brothers without forgetting to stop by Michael Jackson, Prince and Madonna.

10.30pm. £3/2 with NUS CARD. Clubnight @ La Tropicana Hip-hop and R&B student night. 10pm.

Saturday 04/11

Sunday 05/10

Cadwch y Donfedd @ Clwb Ifor Bach Classic new and old Welsh language music disco! Ranges from The Poppies to Datblygu.

Ffantastig. 9pm.£3 A Film About The Pixie @ Chapter Arts Centre In the history of modern American music there were few bands like the Pixies. They influenced countless others despite modest financial success. Then in 1992, just as it seemed the band were poised for fame, their chief songwriter and vocalist Black Francis announced his intention to quit. That it seemed, was that – until, in 2004, the Pixies reunited for a series of shows that became some of the fastest selling in music history. loudQUIETloud is the story of this unforeseen plot twist – a compelling portrait of four band members and their tense but ultimately triumphant return.8.30pm.£5.10.

Performance Masterclass @ Chapter Arts CentreDonna Soto-Morettini will once again host a musical theatre Performing Masterclass exploring acting through song.

Donna will coach a group of young professional performers through a diverse range of material and vocal techniques to communicate story and character through the voice.11 am.£10.

Pick of the Day Simon Pope: Gallery Space Recall@ Chapter Arts Centre Simon Pope invites you to recall, from memory, a walk through a gallery space, and explore the spatial, social and professional relations contained within it.

You are asked to summon-up these remote spaces - through memory, body, speech and movement – so that they exist at two locations simultaneously, both here and there.Today is the last day,don’t miss it!

Pick Of The Day Vile Evils (Pop Will Eat Itself) @ Barfly Before the new-wave revival, before Britpop, before "Madchester", there was a gloriously uncool movement in '80s British music known as Grebo; and greasy-haired Midlanders championed high-energy hedonistic rock. Stourbridge residents "The Poppies" were one of the biggest UK live acts, evolving from lo-fi garage to incorporate hip-hop's rapping and sampling.7.30pm.£10.

Simple Kid / The Matchsticks / Jakokoyak @ Barfly After a great hibernation Simple Kid is back with a brand spanking new album!

Real name Ciaran McFeely, Cork's Simple Kid won hearts in 2003 with his single Truck On.With a lyrical witticism likened to Morrissey, the songwriter has myriad styles, ranging from the glam wacky opener of 'Hello' to the haunting melancholy of 'No News'.7.30pm.£5 .

Rusted Metal / Niktas Fury / Organised Choas @ Clwb Ifor Bach Contact venue for more information. 6pm.

Echo Park L.A. (Quinceañera) @ Chapter Arts Centre Magdalena is the daughter of a MexicanAmerican family who runs a storefront church in Echo Park, Los Angeles. Thrown out of her home after becoming pregnant on the eve of her fifteenth birthday celebrations, she moves in with her great-great-uncle, who is also housing her streetwise cousin Carlos.

The three of them pull together as a family of outsiders, but their world is soon to collide with that of their landlords, an affluent white gay couple. Told with great humour and warmth, this is a story fuelled by the racial, class, and sexual tensions of a Latino neighbourhood in transition.8.30pm. £5.

Aperture present Noisia Vision / Knowledge / Kid Robot / T-Base @ Clwb Ifor Bach Aperture present Noisia Vision feat Knowledge / Kid Robot / T-Base. DRUMBASS-JUNGLE.10pm.£5/6.

Betty Curse+ Venus Elixir + The October Country @ Barfly Have you seen the film 28 Days Later? Yes ... then you already know Betty Curse for her teenage lead role in it, you know, Hannah … the girl who's dad gets turned into a zombie!

Anyways, touted for success by ex-Little Hell singer Steve Ludwin and with a little help from Island Records and a bottle of Absinth, Miss Curse is now the queen of 'Death Pop'.

Excuse all the blood, she’s just having fun.

7.30pm.£5.

Highway 61 Revisited in association with JA Promotions @ The Point Highway 61 Revisited, the world’s only Bob Dylan Tribute Band, announces their Rolling Thunder Revisited Tour of England and Wales in late October and early November 2006. This look alike/sound alike Bob Dylan Tribute will feature an added touch of authenticity with former Dylan band members, violinist Scarlet Rivera and bassist Rob Stoner from Bob Dylan’s Desire album and Rolling Thunder Revue tour of 19751976.Don’t miss this fab band.7.30pm.£10.

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

36 gairrhydd

SPORT

OCTOBER.30.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

IMG Sport is absolute Tosh

New IMG Coordinator Alex McIntosh talks to Dave Menon about the introduction of neutral referees, playing rugby and funny comedy movies TAKING CHARGE of IMG sport is no easy task. The post requires passion, dedication, patience and good organisational skills. Yet new IMG Coordinator, Alex McIntosh, is looking forward to the challenge.

McIntosh is a third-year Business Admin student who is keen to make IMG football and netball even better than ever.

MENON: Why did you want to become IMG Coordinator?

McINTOSH: I’m really enthusiastic about sport and love being around it. I took on the job to improve IMG sport for everyone’s enjoyment.

A couple of weeks ago, paid referees were used in IMG football for the first time ever. How did you rate the overall performance of the new officials on day one?

I was happy with the way everything went on the first day. There was some negative feedback and it’s something we’re going to have to live with. There may be some teething problems, but there was some positive feedback as well. You can be as good as you like, but it’s how you cope under the spotlight that’s important. I was impressed with the referees, I thought they performed well.

How do you aim to improve the new refereeing system over the coming months?

Constant communication between captains, the referees and me is key. I’m here to listen to criticism and bring all parties concerned together. In order to achieve this, I am looking to give referees an appraisal of their display every so often. The situation is being reviewed; I hope to get this plan up and running in the near future. But I don’t intend to make any drastic changes. My hope is that the current refs will sustain and improve their performances.

Win, draw or lose, you’re on the booze Are you planning to make any significant changes to netball this year?

I have received several complaints about the quality of the pitch markings on the playing surface. The courts are only marked once a week and the rain often washes away the markings. The issue has been raised with Talybont Sports Centre and I am hoping the problem will be resolved soon. With regard to umpiring, the situation

CARBS carve out win Chris Croissant IMG Reporter

CARBS A 9 - 7 Pharm B

CARBS A kicked off their season with a hard-fought 9-7 win over Pharmacy B last Wednesday.

While IMG footballers got the chance to put their feet up, both sides were forced to battle against a slippery ball in the driving rain.

Afterwards, CARBS A captain Katherine Reilly commented: “At times the ball seemed like an angry fish.”

Despite the weather, Pharmacy B

SEND IN YOUR IMG REPORTS N

sport@gairrhydd.com Your report is more likely to be printed if your team has not featured in gair rhydd this year

scored early and took the lead.

CARBS A responded instantly and the first half was evenly matched with both teams responding well after conceding a goal.

Pharmacy B played well to earn a 4-2 lead, with Goal Shooter, Claire Guest, finding the net with a confident, one-handed strike. Yet the much fancied CARBS A showed great spirit to level the match before the interval, with captain Reilly and the Centre linking up well to provide Goal Shooter, Natalie Harrison, with ample opportunities.

However, CARBS A moved up a gear after the break and showed their superiority by grabbing five more

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 1 Nov Japsoc v TWNN Law B v Socsi MOMED v Pharm AC Real Ale v Zoology

Arse’Alona Boca Seniors Economics JOMEC

v v v v

Gym Gym Tank Engin Esplanyol Myg Myg

AFC History Butthead FC English Soc J-Unit

v v v v

Uni Hallstars CARBS Psycho Ath. Law A

AFC Cathays Chem Soc Havana Drag.

Inter Me-Nan

v v v v

Crusaders Euros Park Rangers Thunderkatz

remains the same. An umpiring course took place earlier on. I am also hoping to organise a netball cup competition.

matches on Sundays. But I urge all teams to stay off Pontcanna when games are cancelled. We must respect the decision of the council.

IMG results can now be found in Solus during Rubber Duck on Wednesdays. Do you intend to expand IMG coverage across the university in any other ways?

Do you have any other interests we should know about?

Results are in Solus now and you might see league tables later. This new scheme has been introduced to promote IMG and increase the banter – that’s what it’s all about. Win, draw or lose, you’re on the booze. I’m also hoping to get ‘Fixtures Live’ up and running. You can check your team’s fixtures, results and league tables on www.fixs.co.uk after following the links provided.

The football was called off due to rain again. What do you make of this ongoing problem after what happened last year?

There’s not too much I can do as the council oversee the pitches. There was a lot of rain at the weekend and I was gutted when the dreaded phone call came through at about 10.30am. It’s really frustrating. If there are not enough Wednesdays to finish Phase One, I might think about arranging

I play rugby for Bromsgrove Bores in the front row. I also play golf and football and I’m a beloved West Brom fan.

Hopefully they will get promoted this year. I have a wide interest in music and comedy slapstick films like Anchorman and The Wedding Crashers. Those films are hilarious.

What do you think about the standard of IMG sport so far?

The standard has been excellent from what I’ve seen. I saw fierce, fast-flowing football a couple of weeks ago.

Some strikers demonstrated excellent pieces of skill. The quality of netball has been pleasing too.

Finally, what could you imagine doing in ten years?

Hopefully I can get on a graduate scheme and then get a job as a management consultant, earning lots of money. I will then be in a position to charge big companies through the nose for my expertise.

PLEASE NOTE: IMG FOOTBALL WAS CALLED OFF LAST WEEK DUE TO WATERLOGGED PITCHES. FIXTURES WILL CONTINUE AS PLANNED NEXT WEEK AND LAST WEEK’S MATCHES WILL BE PLAYED AT A LATER STAGE. goals. Pharmacy B had a few chances to even up the score, but regrettably failed to hit the target. But things became tighter near the end as Guest, who represented the pride of her side, helped Pharmacy B reduce the deficit to 9-7.

Although Pharmacy B captain, Alison Levine, ended up on the losing side, she remained optimistic about her club’s season. She said: “CARBS A are a good, competitive team. Although we are hoping for a good season ahead, our main aim is to have fun.”

This week, Pharmacy B entertain Law B while CARBS A play against SAWSA in Group C.

IMG Netball Fixtures Sat 28 Oct Optometry v Cardiff B (10.40) Economics B v A’motive (11.20) Socsi B v C. Union (12.10) Economics A v English B Wed 1 Nov Cardiff A v IWC A Socsi A v IWC B

(10.00)

(1.30) (2.10)

Automotive v Socsi B (4.50) Christ. Union v Cardiff B (5.30) Optometry v Econ B (6.10) SAWSA v CARBS A (2.50) Pharmacy B v Law B (3.30) English A v Law A (4.10)

menon on the match NETBALL NUMBER OF GOALS: 190 Goals, 17.27 goals per game GOLDEN GIRLS: Socsi A and Law A, with 18 goals SURPRISE PACKAGE: CARBS B get the gong for a second time after beating the mighty Cardiff A. EPIC GAMES: CARBS A were involved in both following 9-7 wins over Law B and Pharm B. CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Socsi A and Law A have made a strong start following two clear victories.

TEAM OF THE WEEK: Last week I mused: Can anyone beat Cardiff A? Well, as CARBS B beat them 8-5, they deservedly win the award.

IMG Netball Results

Sat 21 Oct Automotive 4 - 13 Optometry Law B 7 - 9 CARBS A Locomotive 8 - 16 Pharmacy A English B 8 - 14 Medics A Wed 25 Oct Socsi A 18 - 2 IWC A IWC B 0 - 11 Tigers CARBS B 8 - 5 Cardiff A English A 2 - 8 Law B CARBS A 9 - 7 Pharmacy B Law A 18 - 2 SAWSA Pharmacy A W - L Gym Gym* Medics 5 - 16 Locomotive

* Pharmacy A win by default, Gym Gym didn’t show up

PLEASE: Please go in

Netball Tables IMG Netball

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Socsi A

2

2

0

0

28

6

2

CARBS B

2

2

0

0

9

6

3

Cardiff A

2

1

0

1

18

3

4

Dynamo Tigers

2

1

0

1

-1

3

5

IWC A

2

0

0

2

-22

0

6

IWC B

2

0

0

2

-32

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Christ. Union

1

1

0

0

16

3

2

Cardiff B

1

1

0

0

11

3

3

Optometry

1

1

0

0

9

3

4

Automotive

1

0

0

1

-9

0

5

Socsi B

1

0

0

1

-11

0

6

Economics B

1

0

0

1

-16

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Group C D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Law A

2

2

0

0

31

6

2

CARBS A

2

2

0

0

4

6

3

Law B

2

1

0

1

14

3

4

SAWSA

2

1

0

1

-8

3

5

Pharmacy B

2

0

0

2

-17

0

6

English A

2

0

0

2

-24

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Pharmacy A

2

2

0

0

8

6

2

Economics A

1

1

0

0

19

3

3

Locomotive

2

1

0

1

3

3

4

Medics

2

1

0

1

-5

3

5

English B

1

0

0

1

-6

0

6

Gym Gym

2

0

0

2

-19

0

gairrhydd

37

SPORT

OCTOBER.30.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

It started with a Kiss Watersports reporters Chris Crossiant and Vicky Warner enjoy a breezy weekend at Aussie Kiss 5

Last weekend, more than forty Cardiff Kitesurfers and Windsurfers headed for Bude, Cornwall, to join hundreds of students from over twenty universities for Aussie Kiss 5.

With strong winds and a lot of beginners, it was an opportunity for everyone to enjoy the social aspect of beach life.

Saturday saw the event unravel itself. Ex-President of the Kitesurfing society Ben Norman, had worked closely with SKA (Student Kiting Association) to make Aussie Kiss a recognised major event in South England. Amber James, the society's Social Secretary commented: “There were lots of pros helping teach”.

Despite this, the wind had other ideas. Blowing fiercely all day and

with strong gusts, teaching for beginners was near on impossible.

Cardiff kiters may have enjoyed the thrill of skidding along the sand, but some were not so lucky. Reg James, President of the society, recalled: “There was a girl from Bath who got picked up and broke her leg.”

For the more experienced it was a great time to go out and play, with some good riding and elegant tricks landed. Amber James noted: “There were lots of chicks riding which was encouraging for girls.”

However, the day was not without further incident. With kiting called off due to dangerous conditions, one experienced kiter from Air Jam, Cardiff Kitesurf's official sponsor, lost control of his kite and ended up on the rocks.

The kiter was pulled out of the

water and Ben Norman kept him warm, until the emergency services arrived. The incoming tide meant they could not get back to the beach and so had to wait to be airlifted by the coastguard helicopter.

Conditions on Sunday did not improve and Treasurer Tim Ellinger said: “We would have loved more kiting, but it was more about the social side this time.”

The windy weekend provided excellent tuition for the Windsurfers at Roadford Lake. Pro coach Jem Hall and GBR Race Coach Olly Woodcock inspired the advanced fleet with speed tips and freestyle ideas, while the intermediates were advised by racer Jim Collis. The windsurfing series continues with Cardiff Wave Event next week.

38 gairrhydd

SPORT

OCTOBER.30.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Rugby role reversal

Newly promoted men’s team suffer heavy defeat away to BUSA giants, while ladies continue to rise and surprise everyone

Men’s rugby George Pawley Sports Editor

HARTPURY 1sts.......................52

CARDIFF Mens’ 1sts................14

Ladies’ rugby Angharad Jones Rugby Reporter CARDIFF Ladies 1sts................19 Bristol Ladies 1sts.....................5 Cardiff Ladies Rugby team continued their winning ways with a victory over Bristol.

Following their excellent opening day victory over Exeter last week, Cardiff were confident and optimistic ahead of the game.

The match got off to a great start for Cardiff who found themselves dominating from the first whistle, and they swiftly opened the scoring through a 15th minute Simone Shephard try.

Centre Kat Lenan stole the ball from a Bristol player through some superb ground-work and released Shephard, who crossed for the score.

Bristol soon found some form and began to gain possession and momentum but Cardiff's defence held strong, highlighted by a try-saving tackle from Anna Soryal. The lock capitalised quickly turning defence into attack, and following some flowing inter-play along the back line, Lenan was freed

out-wide to dodge a number of Bristol players on her way to the line for the second Cardiff try of the game.

Shephard converted to make the halftime score 12-0 to the visitors.

Bristol came out strongly after the break and managed to break the Cardiff defensive line early to score their only points of the game. Cardiff responded well, and in the 55th minute, Lenan made an excellent break from inside her own half to score her second try, again converted by Shephard.

Cardiff continued to play well but heavy rain did little to aid the flow of the game and lead to a number of mistakes from both teams. The visitors continued to dominate in the scrum, and with the forwards also making excellent ground in attack surely a closer score-line was deserved.

However, Cardiff produced a very positive display, and remain unbeaten going into their third BUSA fixture of the year.

Cardiff’s Head of Rugby, Martyn Fowler believes that the Women’s team will continue to go from strength to strength: “Over 70 freshers went to the trials, and on current form, they are matching some of BUSA’s best womens’ outfits; they are really playing some outstanding rugby, even at this early stage of the season.”

PHOTO: SARAH DAY

FOLLOWING A crushing 52 - 14 defeat to Hartpury, Cardiff Men's Firsts showed they are still struggling to cope with life in the BUSA Premier League.

The defeat prompted Head of Rugby, Martyn Fowler, to insist that Hartpury should not be a BUSA side.

He said: “Against Hartpury, you aren't even playing against a University rugby team. Most of their players are on scholarships or academy contracts with Gloucester or Worcester and are more interested in pursuing a rugby career than an academic one. In my view they shouldn't be allowed in BUSA, they aren't a BUSA team.”

Unlike Cardiff, Hartpury operate at virtually a professional basis, with hydro-pool and ice bath treatments after the match, daily 7am sports massages and a full nutritional meal scheme.

Even before kick-off, Cardiff knew

they would find the game tough considering the depleted squad that made the journey. Tom Issacs, Arron Fowler and Tom Cooper had been called into the Cardiff Blues Under 20s squad, while props Aled Mason and Sean Price, second row Ed Steven and Dave Lewis had to withdraw from the travelling party due to injury and illness.

The opening half saw Cardiff battle competitively and play with plenty of passion against their hosts, who have established themselves as one of the strongest rugby sides in BUSA. A hard fought first period saw Cardiff go in 24 - 14 down.

The second half descended into relative chaos for Cardiff, who fell apart at the feet of their hefty opponents. The pack disintegrated, and technique levels dropped as fatigue kicked in.

Compared to the week before, the Cardiff lineout was completely unrecognisable - they were so dominant against UWIC but seemingly incapable versus Hartpury.

Commenting on the game, Fowler described the opposition as being “the most efficient and clinical side I've ever come across at this level. They have incredible strength in depth and our fitness simply didn't compare.

After two losses, our season needs to start now - we need to win six games to stay up.”

Badminton success AS THE BADMINTON Men's First team travelled down the M4 to a 7-1 defeat against Swansea, they were passed by a nervous Swansea third team who were comprehensively beaten at Talybont by a strong Cardiff second string.

With an influx of quality freshers filling in the gaps, the new strength in depth showed as Cardiff strolled to an 8-0 victory without drop-

ping a set.

Veteran Dom Caswell led the charge early on, taking both his singles matches comfortably and soon the score was 5-0 and beyond the travelling team.

Doubles player Matt Pearce said: “I think the score line shows we have a strong team this season. With the new players in, there are few weaknesses.”

BADMINTON: Up with the shuttlecocks

Golf VETERAN RYAN Greaney produced a scintillating performance for Cardiff Golf Firsts.

However, his efforts could not prevent Bournemouth triumphing 5 - 1 at Dudsbury Golf Club.

Welsh international Greaney has now gone ten matches undefeated, and in turn has become the highest points scorer in Cardiff University history.

The other five members of the team struggled to come to terms with the wet and blustery conditions as they succumbed to a quality Bournemouth team.

The 1sts next entertain Bath in the BUSA Premier, and will hope for better a brighter forecast ahead of the fixture.

Snooker THE SECOND Snooker Club tournament of the semester began the first of the eight ranking tournaments that will take place throughout the year.

The tournament was thrown wide open early on, as favourite Manos Paspatis fell at the first hurdle, losing to Dev Chadha.

The Freshers Tournament runner-up Huw Davies fought strongly to win after beating Chadha in the quarterfinal, but had to leave before the semis to watch a gig, giving the unseeded Sachin Murugesh a bye into the final, where he faced Rupert Taylor.

Taylor, the 7th seed, had beaten 2nd seed Ben Chung in the quarters, and 3rd seed Joe Merola in the semi-final to book his berth.

The final was a close fought affair, with Taylor winning the first frame 6125. However, Murugesh responded in frame two with a 60-35 win, setting up a decider.

Murugesh again played an excellent frame, after a nervy start by both players, winning the final frame 61-11 and the match 2-1. He takes the first ten points of the 06/07 season.

The next tournament will take place on Saturday November 4th, at 1pm in the Games Room.

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OCTOBER.30.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Squash shine in whitewash Ed Pitchforth Sports Reporter CARDIFF MEN'S Squash teams secured emphatic victories against Welsh opponents last week.

The firsts performed a demolition job on Glamorgan, failing to lose a game and only dropping a remarkable three points on their way to a 5-0 match win, while the seconds matched that score-line in a defeat of Swansea.

The one-sided nature of the rubbers was embarrassing as captain Rhys Owen, second seed Alex Hira, third seed Matt Carry, and fifth seed Owain Jones all won 9-0, 9-0, 9-0, without even breaking a sweat.

The two sides were ridiculously illmatched and the landslide result certainly did not flatter Cardiff, as they displayed an excellent array of shots and impressive court mobility as they worked their opponents around the court.

Taking up where the firsts left off, the seconds also failed to drop a single game on their way to another 5-0 victory against Swansea.

Captain Rich Thompson enjoyed another walkover as he comfortably dismissed his challenger without dropping a point. Both Ben Guilbert and David Chamberlain dropped just three points a piece as they notched easy wins, and top seed James Wurzer also

impressed with a 9-6, 9-0, 9-1 victory.

In the first vaguely competitive match of the afternoon, James Lees was made to work slightly harder against a competent Swansea fourth seed.

After some good rallies he eventually secured a solid 9-7, 9-3, 9-4 win, giving the seconds an impressive 5-0 score line.

While both captains were delighted by their team's performance, they will surely be hoping for more challenging opposition next week.

Ladies Squash lose 3 - 1 THE LADIES TEAM enjoyed contrasting fortune on the road as captain Erica Ballantyne led the first Cardiff Women's side to compete in BUSA Squash for several years.

The matches proved to be far more entertaining but sadly Cardiff could not begin on a winning note, as they slipped to a 3-1 defeat against a skilful Exeter team.

Fourth seed Andrea Philpot got off to a good start taking the first game 10-8, demonstrating a killer backhand winner on many occasions.

Unfortunately, her opponent raised her game and reeled off three games in a row to take the match.

Third seed Jo Watkins showed fantastic fighting spirit as he fought back from two games down to win her

PHOTO: ALETTA ANDRE

Both Men’s Squash teams defeat Glamorgan and Swansea 5-0 without dropping a single game match, levelling the tie in the process.

Regrettably, parity was short lived as skipper Ballantyne came up against a talented Exeter player and lost in straight sets.

All hopes turned to top seed, Gwenan Jones-Parry, to win her match and secure a draw for the Ladies.

In a high quality match, both players showed they deserved their top seed status, with some excellent rallies and clever drop shots.

Jones-Parry narrowly missed out on both the first and second games, and while she threatened a comeback by taking the third 9-7, she eventually succumbed to a 3-1 defeat.

While the match result was disappointing, the team showed plenty of promise and will be looking to secure their first victory next week.

SEND IN YOUR BUSA REPORTS sport@gairrhydd.com Your reports are more likely to be printed if a large picture is attached to the email.

ENDURANCE: They must be thirsty

Unlucky loss at Gloucester The men’s football firsts lose second consecutive game Andy Wylde Football Reporter GLOUCESTER Mens’ 1sts........1 CARDIFF Mens’ 1sts...............0

Storming ahead Jemima Barnes Snowsports Reporter CARDIFF SNOWSPORTS Race team started the season in style, after laying down some unbeatable tracks on Saturday night at Avon Ski Centre.

The team were competing in the first round of their league event which they finished second in last season.

The Firsts mixed team, consisting of Mike Hatcher, Sarah Jane Bowen, Becky Broughton, Ian Stirk, Megan Turnbull and Lisa Thomas were outstanding all night and won the event.

The Ladies team delivered as well, finishing second in their group.

Not wanting to be overshadowed, the thirds produced a storming per-

formance and snatched sixth place in a close race off. The 2nd team also competed well, but due to a couple of mishaps finished eighth.

Out of 17 teams, Cardiff had the three highest ranked teams at the end of the night. Captain and coach Jemima Barnes commented: “I was so proud of everyone who competed, and with the BUSA championships at Hillend, Edinburgh only 3 weeks away, I feel confident that our team has the potential to do awesomely well.”

The second of the BUSA snowsports events, the Alpine Championship, is being held next year in Risoul, France from March 19th 25th.

But the team must focus on their trip to Edinburgh beforehand.

IT WAS ANOTHER disappointing result for Cardiff 1st XI, but the scoreline flatters Gloucestershire, who were outplayed for a vast part of the game.

A new look Cardiff side travelled to Gloucester with the bitterness of last week's demoralising defeat fresh in their minds.

From the whistle however, Cardiff gave little respect to their opposition, playing with great confidence and dominating early possession.

The physical nature of Gloucestershire was countered by the speed and intensity at which Cardiff played. The new centre midfield partnership of Jack Jarvis and Matt Jones dominated the central areas, creating early chances for Roberts and Beckley, who forced great saves from the home side's keeper.

The score remained 0-0 at half time with Cardiff's huge amount of possession not being capitalised on.

The second half saw much of the

same, with Cardiff dictating play but not being imaginative enough in the final third.

Completely against the run of play, in the 74th minute, Gloucestershire countered and poor defensive positioning allowed their right winger to cross the ball for their striker who finished with aplomb.

Unshaken, Cardiff continued to dominate. Substitute Dan Jones came within inches of equalising with a clever through ball from James Cherry.

Ten minutes from time, forward Roberts was hard done by not to be given a penalty after being hacked down in the box. Shortly after, he saw another effort cleared off the line as the home side survived the barrage of attacks.

Gloucestershire's jubilant celebrations at the final whistle showed how lucky they were not to lose.

Coach Dean Wheeler reflected on the performance, saying: “The boys played at a high tempo and moved the ball very well.”

He added: “There are many positives to be taken from the game”.

Meanwhile, captain Andy Wylde commented: “We maintained great possession across the pitch but simply were not ruthless enough in the final third.

“Gloucestershire had one chance and took it. The team are learning very quickly that, when playing against quality opposition, teams will punish any mistakes.”

Hartpury and UWIC are top the table with six points. With Cardiff bottom along with Plymouth, it is vital they get a result in their first home match against Bath next week.

Seconds game called off THE MEN’S football seconds match against Bristol seconds at Llanrumney was postponed due to rain.

Although there was some hope of play, the game was eventaully called off hours before kick-off.

Following their 3-2 win over UWE last week, the players will be looking to continue where they left off at Llanrumney this week.

After days of substantial rainfall, this was not the only fixture to suffer as all 16 IMG football matches did not go ahead for the same reason.

CORRECTION: Cardiff Men’s football firsts lost to Hartpury almost a fortnight ago. In last week’s gair rhydd, we stated Cardiff lost to Hartbury. We apologise for the mistake.

g a i rr h y d d

Spor t INSIDE: Sport catch up with all the Aussie Kiss watersport action in Cornwall

Cardiff Ladies 1sts

7

Bath Ladies 3rds

0

WASHED AWAY Hockey survives the weather as BUSA and IMG are disrupted

Scott D’Arcy Sports Reporter GOALS FLOWED as the rain poured in Cardiff Ladies 1sts match with Bath's 3rd XI in BUSA 1A. The home team were without their first choice 'keeper Lizzy Hawes so had to put a debutant in her place; not that it mattered, as their opponents never got close to the Cardiff goal.

Good early pressure led to a score within the first five minutes; excellent interplay in the area between the Cardiff front pair Laura Ferguson

and Tamara Fateh, led to a powerful close-range shot into the bottom left corner.

Bath never really gained a foothold of the game and some panicked defending allowed Cardiff to keep attacking in waves.

Some strong work in the centre of midfield by Angharad Griffiths prevented Bath utilising their favoured route of attack.

They also found no luck on the wings as Cardiff used every bit of width available to them to really stretch their rivals.

The constant flood of attacking led to a second goal halfway through

the first half, as a penalty corner was fired in and found Sophie Blair on the rebound, who smashed it into the right corner.

A third Cardiff goal came just five minutes later as a great run down the right by Fateh was matched by an equally impressive cross to Ferguson who fired home from close range.

Bath had brief moments of possession with their front pairing looking sharp when on the ball, but Cardiff's defence were impenetrable and Bath's midfield could not match their opponents work rate.

Just before halftime, the defen-

sive gates opened again as Bethan Stephens stole in from midfield to loop the ball over the 'keeper's outstretched leg.

Bath would have been thankful for a rest having being run ragged, but after the restart they looked just as weary.

As the rain got heavier so did the score line for Bath, as a series of penalty corners had the players resembling a firing squad, lining up to take pot shots at the goal.

The Bath 'keeper got her money's worth from her leg pads until one got by after a brief goalmouth scramble, finally slotted away by

Blair.

The home side then eased off and were happy to play a passing game, but Bath's defence continued to leak opportunities and Cardiff scored twice more before the end.

Cardiff captain Fateh reflected on a job well done. She said: “It was another solid performance in our campaign for promotion.”

The 1sts trail UWE on goal difference after two games in BUSA 1A, and travel to east next.

They will play a Southampton side without a point following defeats at the hands of Gloucestershire and UWE.

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