Gair Rhydd - Issue 826

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ISSUE 826 NOVEMBER 06 2006 CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

Politics joins Science and Environment for one week only to investigate the politics of climate change

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T A BOR

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e 17 g a p w e i v The inter

A BIG LET DOWN? Student to hold public protest against letting agency Helen Thompson News Editor A CARDIFF student has gone to extreme measures to express his dissatisfaction with his letting agency.

Greg Clark, a 23-year-old UWIC student, is planning to stage a protest outside the Keylet offices on Wednesday, November 4 at 4pm.

The postgraduate has been rallying support from the student body by wearing an ‘I hate Keylet tshirt’ on nights out.

Clark claims that his bond was withheld for five months after he moved out of the flat he rented, which was situated directly above Keylet’s offices.

Although a percentage of his bond was returned to him on November 2 while gair rhydd was taking photographs of him in his

campaign gear, his intends to go ahead with the peaceful protest.

He expects to be joined by other students who feel discontented with the service provided to them by the letting agency.

Since deciding to take action he has been handing out leaflets to local residents and asking for accounts of their renting experiences.

He said: “I’m overwhelmed by the response. There’s a lot of interest in the protest, with people even leaving their details under the windscreen wipers of my car, and pulling me aside in pubs to tell me their stories.”

The UWIC student claims that him and his housemates’ bonds, which amounted to over £1,000, were not repaid promptly, as Clark had not provided proof that his council tax had been paid in full.

He claims that Keylet did not tell them about this until he sent

them a letter of action drafted by his lawyer.

He added: “They didn’t bother to get in touch with me to let me know why I hadn’t received my bond back. I had to chase them, and the people responsible never returned one of my calls in the entire five months, so as a last resort I sent a letter of action.”

“Even though I received some of my bond back this week I think I am still owed money. Keylet have charged me £100 for cleaning bills because our flat was left apparently messier than when we moved in.

This wasn’t the case so we should not have to foot the bill.”

Peter Vidler, Director of Keylet, said: “We returned Clark’s bond to him within the terms of his contract - once we had been provided with evidence that all bills had Story Continues on Page 5

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At

a glance

D- Evolution

Student cleared of rape

November 06 2006 News Editorial & Opinion Dan Science and Politics Features Letters Interview Health Media Jobs & Money Taf-Od Television Problem Page Five Minute Fun Grab Listings Sport

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EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley, LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV Grace, TV John, TV Neil, TV Jane LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD Huw Pritchard SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MIN FUN Lara Bell, Jesse Scharf PICTURE EDITOR James Perou PROOF READERS Kieran Harwood, Alys Jones, Eleanor Morrey CONTRIBUTORS Sarah Day, William Taylor, Angela Pook, Samantha Shillabeer, Laura Biscoe, Claran Rhys Jenkins, Richard Williams, Lee Macaulay, Corinne Rhoades, Karen Eeuwens, Rachel Clare, Steve Myerscough, Steffi Denton, katie Treble, Victoria Lane, Matt Horwood, Natalie Parkinson, Annika Henderson, Chris White, Si Truss, Anna Milewski, Pete Evans, Steve Evans, Karolyn Mandy, Paul Hayes, Ed Pitchforth, Angharad Jones, Jack Zorab, Scott D’arcy, Charles Austin ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

STUDENTS: Where will they go now?

Rachel Clare Reporter DOZENS of teens rampaged in the Red Dragon Car Park in Cardiff Bay last Sunday when they were locked out of the nightclub, Evolution.

Police were called to deal with the rowdy teenagers, most of whom were under 16. They had turned up for the weekly 6.30pm youth disco on Sundays for 13 to 17 year olds, run by promoters Wicked Clubbing.

When the young party goers got

there however, it was evident that Evolution, one of the biggest nightclubs in Cardiff had shut down without any notice.

A woman, who asked not to be named, said that the teenagers arrived at the club to find it shut and started causing trouble.

She said: “The kids turned up to find the doors padlocked and the people saying they weren’t opening.

“The teenagers were then running riot and the police had to be called.”

Wicked Clubbing claim that they had no knowledge of Evolution clos-

ing.

Damian Hegarty, general manager at Evolution, said: “The nightclub was closed Sunday night and is closed for the foreseeable future.”

He claims that there were signs all over the barriers and car park on Sunday evening and that it would have been obvious to the teens and their parents.

Evolution, which used to play hard dance and trance, and used to stage regular student and weekend nights, is now closed until the foreseeable future.

BBC to give S4C more funding William Taylor Reporter WELSH-LANGUAGE channel S4C is to receive more funding from the BBC. Under the new agreement, the BBC will increase annual spending on S4C and produce more of the Welsh channel’s programmes.

Currently, the BBC has to provide S4C with 10 hours of Welsh programming a week and until now S4C had little say over what the corporation provided.

Spending will rise by £3million to just over £25million, and the two broadcasters will work more closely as part of the new strategic partnership.

BBC chairman Michael Grade said: “We are delighted that this new partnership will strengthen and extend the BBC’s contribution. I’m certain Welsh-language audiences will reap the benefits.”

The agreement will also make BBC Wales programmes available on S4C’s broadband and on-demand services.

School agony

Cardiff Crown Court

Rachel Clare Reporter A STUDENT was yesterday cleared of raping a student nurse when the jury heard that she had already had sex with him.

Matthew Gallivan, 20, had consensual sex with the student nurse, whom he met in Cardiff nightclub Liquid, on St Mary’s Street.

The 21-year-old nurse said that she was willing to do this and had taken Gallivan back to a friend’s house.

In what was thought to be a onenight-stand gone wrong, the student nurse then claimed that Gallivan asked her to perform oral sex to which she refused.

She told the court that he then turned violent and held her down on the bed She said: “Then he forced me on to the bed and pinned my arms down just above my head.

“I shouted at him to stop and started crying, but he just disregarded me and carried on.”

Gallivan, who is from Cwmbran, denied the charges and was cleared unanimously after a week-long trial at Cardiff Crown Court.

Samantha Shillabeer Reporter WELSH STUDENTS buckling under the pressures of school life are to be provided with their very own ‘agony aunts’ under a new government scheme.

The Welsh Assembly are introducing these agony aunts, known as “learning coaches”, to give advice and support to youngsters in the run-up to leaving full-time education.

A pilot scheme has successfully been running in Gwynedd and in Anglesey, and it is hoped that it will be extended to at least 14 more Welsh schools in the near future.

The co-ordinator of the programme, Ellen Williams, explained: “These learning coaches take an agony aunt role in that they are there to listen to young people and help them.”

Some of their main duties include helping students with

Board anyone?

Angela Pook Reporter

AGONY AUNTS: Would you go to her? exam preparation, coursework problems, family issues, time-management, low self-esteem and lack of motivation.

It is thought that the scheme will help children all over the country to “become independent learners”, and equip them with skills that will bene-

fit them in later life.

The co-ordinators of the programme stress that it is designed to help students of all abilities.

They say that “learners of all ages have differing needs, abilities and aspirations and learning coaches are well placed to help them”.

THE SCIENCE Museum have announced that they have incorporated a board game into their own range of products.

EleMental combines the best elements of popular traditional board games such as chess and draughts and presents them in a contemporary new format designed to appeal to both children and adults.

Creator Chris McCann from South Wales believes that it could one day be a rival to long established games such as chess.

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Cameron says...

The Tory leader tells gair rhydd that top-up fees should stay

Have you met Miss Jones?

Ciarán Rhys Jenkins Reporter TOP-UP FEES are here and they “should stay”, David Cameron told gair rhydd exclusively on Thursday.

The Tory leader took timeout from his visit to a youth inclusion project in Cardiff to tell gair rhydd that “in terms of the Westminster parliament [topup fees] should stay, but we’ve got to look at the funding of universities in a more longterm way.”

Laura Biscoe Reporter A WORLD record breaking attempt is being held in the Millennium Stadium staging the biggest get together of Joneses in the world.

On November 3rd the Welsh TV channel S4C hope to fill the 1,600 seat stadium with an audience of Joneses at a variety show.

A host of famous Joneses will star in it such as former Bond girl, Grace Jones and opera singer Dame Gwyneth Jones, in order to break the Guinness World Record for the largest surname gathering.

The current world record is held by Sweden for a gathering of 583 ‘Norbergs’.

We are not amused...

Sebastian Cooke Reporter THE DUCHESS of Cornwall has attacked the work ethic of English undergraduates, implying that they are lazy and prefer to spend their time partying rather than studying.

She made the comments after visiting Fatima Jinnah Women University in Pakistan with Prince Charles, where she spent some time with the students.

Camilla, who did not attend University, but instead a finishing school in Switzerland, then attacked their English counterparts, comparing them with “hardworking” Pakistani students.

She said: “English students don’t spend as much time on their studies. They’re more interested in partying and having fun.”

The NUS quickly responded with a statement from Vice President (welfare) Veronica King. She said: “While we do not dispute that Pakistani students work incredibly hard, it is unhelpful to suggest that UK students spend all of their time drinking and partying.

“Such comments reinforce an outdated stereotype of students... today’s students are just as likely to be found working behind a bar as drinking at it”.

Mr Cameron’s position means that there is now a gulf between the Conservative party in England and Wales over university funding.

“Conservatives in Wales can decide their own policies and their own priorities,” he said. “That’s the way devolution works.”

In May 2005 the Welsh Assembly Government (WAG) reached an agreement which would prevent the introduction of top-up fees in Wales.

Universities receive the same annual sum of £3,000 per person as in England, but in Wales the WAG pays the difference after the base rate of £1,200.

The Conservative Party had fought the 2005 General election on a promise to scrap university fees, but Mr Cameron has since hinted that he would reverse that policy. “I think we have got to be realistic and say that people have to make a contribution,” he said.

By explicitly aligning himself with top-up fees Mr. Cameron is at odds with his Welsh counterparts over highereducation funding.

Nicholas Bourne, leader of the Welsh Conservatives, has always opposed top-up fees and expressed his delight that a Conservative motion led to the concession over fees in Wales last year.

The decision was, he said, a “victory for the will of the Assembly”.

Top-up fees will next be on the Westminster agenda in 2009 or 2010 when the £3,000 cap is up for review.

After an independent report into the effect of variable fees MPs may be given a vote to increase top-up fees further.

A rise in English university fees would put the WAG under pressure to review its own policy to prevent the funding gap between Welsh and English universities getting out of control.

Mr Cameron told gair rhydd that his desire was to see “well-funded, well paid-for universities” and promised to “look at the whole issue again.” But he would not rule out lifting the cap if the Conservatives were to win the next general election.

Thousands of students attended a protest in London last week to renew their fight against tuition fees.

Joe Ruskin from the National Union of Students said: “David Cameron’s refusal to discount lifting the cap on fees is an indication that politicians are secretly planning to increase them yet again.

“The government vote may not be for some time, but the fight to stop unlimited university fees begins now.”

Pillow fight night Joanna Dingle News Editor CARDIFF’S FLASH Mob crew were out in force for the first time last Thursday when they ‘flash mobbed’ the unsuspecting public.

At 5.30pm on the dot, over 50 people spontaneously burst into a mass pillow fight opposite the Hilton Hotel in the centre of Cardiff.

The scene was chaotic, but when it calmed to a lull the leader had them line up and wait until a horn was blown before the mayhem began again.

Passers-by stopped and stared.

A local high-school student, Tom Bennett, 15, said: “It’s pretty crazy and confusing, I think they’re just attention seeking.”

Pandemonium broke out for a total of 15 minutes, and after a couple of Flash Mob chants, the crowd dispersed and left the scene.

After the event, second year English student, Joe Tyler, said: “I feel great, wicked. There is quite the connection between pillow fighters”.

Holly Bassett, second year French and Spanish added: “It’s my first time doing anything like this, it’s been really random, spontaneous, a bit different and a lot of fun.”

Third year Geography and Planning student, Jesse Scharf, also added his thoughts. He said: “It was amazing – there were loads more people here than I expected.

“We arrived, and there were a few people over the road ready with their pillows.

“The time came, and about 50 more people ran up from under the subway. It was fantastic.”

Cardiff Union’s Flash Mob society have planned another event to happen in the next month. Details are to be confirmed later on this month.

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

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NUS london demo feature

Marching through the streets of London Holly Bassett Reporter in London

CARDIFF STUDENTS joined the NUS’ ‘Admission Impossible’ demonstration through central London on Sunday to protest against the soaring levels of student debt.

The coach load of 50 departed early on the morning, joining 3,500 students from across the UK. Armed with placards, banners and whistles, the demonstrators marched towards Embankment, past 10 Downing Street and Parliament to Trafalgar Square, where the march culminated in a rally.

Cardiff University provided the only live stage performance, with Union President Joe Al-Khayat, Vice President Ed Jones and AU President James Woodroof singing their campaign theme Freelove Feeway, a special version of Ricky Gervais’ cult hit.

Some students felt so passionately about the rise in tuition fees that they sat outside Parliament and refused to move.

Micha, a German ERASMUS student who is studying at Cardiff, said: “I think one march alone is not enough. You have to start a bigger

movement to really change something.”

Those entering higher education in September 2005, before top-up fees were introduced, faced the prospect of £20,000 debt at graduation.

There is a threat of a 250% rise in tuition fees next year resulting in £75,000+ worth of debt for this year’s intake.

If the government’s proposal of removing the current cap of £3,000 a year goes ahead the debt will continue to escalate.

The NUS are heavily opposing this policy and are calling for an end to increased fees, debt and marketisation of education.

NUS president Gemma Tumelty said: “We really believe that debt will be a huge deterrent to students entering education. This year there were 15,000 fewer students - that’s a huge concern to us, particularly when government is trying to widen participation.”

However, the Minister for Lifelong Learning, Further and Higher Education, Bill Rammell, said: “Given the sub-

The day in pictures

by James Perou, Matt Horwood and Adam Gasson

stantial extra income that graduates earn, I believe that it is fair to ask graduates who benefit most to contribute to the cost of their education as well as the tax payer.”

Cardiff stole the show at the NUS demo, says James Temperton Admission Impossible is probably quite an apt name for a campaign that never really stood a chance of making any sort of impact.

As I stumbled into Cathays on Sunday morning whilst even the sun was still sleeping I had a certain sense that I might just be wasting my time.

Don’t get me wrong, there are few more politically active and liberally minded than me and there is nothing I like better than a good protest, but to put it simply, this wasn’t a good protest.

And this isn’t the fault of the students who turned up and for the most part conducted a really positive march with a great spirit and atmosphere, it was the fault of the NUS and the various university unions up and down the country for failing to encourage more people to go.

I like nothing better than a good protest, but to put it simply, this wasn’t a good protest Perhaps even that isn’t levelling the blame enough, so let me paint a bit of a picture for you. The 3,500 (a pitiful number) that marched in London on Sunday were doing so to prevent future generations suffering from extortionate rises in tuition fees if, or perhaps more truthfully when, ‘the cap’ is lifted. This could mean graduate debt in a few years time of £70,000. If you’re planning on having kids or have younger brothers and sisters with aspirations to go to university, they are going to have to cope with that sort of debt to get tertiary education.

It was fantastic to see that team Cardiff made a concerted effort to do something a bit different. The ‘anthem’ for the march, a clever reworking of Freelove Freeway was performed live at Trafalgar Square. It was the sort of thing that showed the inventiveness and initiative that this sort of protest needed. After the show the ‘band’ even got an interview on Sky News, which is more than can be

said for the rest of the event. The lack of news coverage for the whole event is a testament to a campaign that failed to grab the attention of anyone else other than a very small proportion of the student populous.

So I ask myself: why didn’t more people march? Why did I hear that Durham University order 16 coaches for only 60 people to bother to turn up? Do we as a student body care so little about our rights and the rights of future students that we can’t be bothered to give one day of our lives to march through the streets of London and make those in power sit up and listen? This could again be a question of the campaign being poorly promoted; I know a lot of people who would have gone had they been properly informed.

The blame has to lie somewhere, that’s for sure. However, I’m not about to paint a negative picture on the day itself as it was all in all a great thing to do. Everyone who went was so passionate about the issue and really thought that they could make the difference by taking part in the march. This is exactly the sort of attitude that the NUS and the university unions up and down the country needed to be instilling in students.

To put it all into perspective: 3,500 students marched through London on Sunday. Manchester University has 25,683 undergraduate students, UCL has 19,000 students and Cardiff University has 24,812 students at post graduate and undergraduate level.

That’s just three British universities and the figure is already at nearly 70,000. Suddenly 3,500 people doesn’t seem like many at all.

This was a chance to make a difference and a combination of NUS incompetence and student disinterest has lead to it being a wasted opportunity that will more discredit the fight against top-up fees than benefit it. The lifting of the top-up fees cap would spell disaster for the university system in this country and those with aspirations to attend in the future. We are already paying over the odds for something that was once considered a right.

Graduating with debts of £20,000 is a horrible burden, but potential debts of £70,000 for future graduates is just plain wrong

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Crime concern

Thief catcher: “It could have turned out a lot worse...”

A STUDENT has become a hero among his friends after he tracked down a man that robbed their house and many others.

Scott Powell, an Accounting and Economics third year, alerted the police when he was walking down a Cathays street and encountered the intruder he had found in his house.

His phone call helped the police to arrest the illegal immigrant, who later admitted to robbing 20 houses in the six weeks he had lived in the UK. At 9.30pm on September 27, Powell and his housemates were in their living room in Llanbleddian Gardens when Jenny Claridge felt a draught coming under the door.

Claridge, a third year English Literature student, said: “I looked into the hall and saw that the front door was wide open.

“I shut it and locked it, and we all started being stupid, screaming and saying that we were probably being robbed. Then we heard footsteps and a man appeared on the stairs.”

Shocked and unsure how to react, the students asked what he was doing and told him to leave. The man, an 18year-old illegal Iraqi immigrant who was living rough on the streets, mumbled about looking for room six, and

A big let down Continued from front been settled, and the cost of cleaning was known and deducted from the sum of the bond.

“Tenants need to note down any problems with the cleanliness of the property in the inventory when they move in. If they do this, we will take it into account when they move out, and not ask that they pay for the property to be cleaned to a higher standard than they found it in.”

Clark has notified Keylet in writing that he will take legal action if he is not reimbursed for the cost of the cleaning bill.

fled the house.

The housemates immediately searched the residence and discovered that a wallet, phone, digital camera and MP3 player had disappeared.

Police were optimistic about the possibility of finding the man, as the housemates were able to give detailed descriptions of the man’s appearance.

The next morning, Powell was surprised to see the same man crossing his path on Salisbury Road.

Powell said: “When he saw me, he stopped dead in his tracks. He started squirming and asked if I knew where the nearest mosque was.

“I dialled 999 in my pocket, but directed him towards the end of Salisbury Road. I tried to follow him, but lost him before the police arrived five minutes later.

“When I approached him I wasn’t scared but looking back on it it could have turned out worse than it did. He’s only 18 but is built more like a 25year-old. ” Powell joined police in a squad car to search for the man, who was soon found on City Road.

He was carrying the MP3 player and phone, and admitted to hiding the wallet in a drainpipe, having spent the money it contained. He claimed to have sold the digital camera.

The man was charged with four burglaries, but subsequently admitted to a

Richard Williams Reporter A POLL has revealed that students are becoming increasingly concerned over the threat of crime whilst at university.

The poll, carried out by the website www.accomodationforstudents.com, shows that female students around the country believe there is a 70% chance of them being victims of drink spiking or sexual assault on a night out.

Male students replied much in the same manner, 62% said they thought they were at risk of being mugged and assaulted.

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

Helen Thompson News Editor

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POWELL: Thief catcher total of 20 robberies, and was sentenced to 18 months in jail. He will be deported on his release.

Powell said: “I think we were complacent about the security of our house.

We used to leave the door unlocked so friends could come in and out, but now we keep it locked.”

Domain demand Corinne Rhoades Reporter WELSH WEB campaigners are pressurising internet authorities for their own .cym web domain.

Over 1,800 people have backed the campaign by signing an online petition to give Wales its own .cym web address ending.

Wales is currently banned from having its own domain since it is not an independent country. However, a spokesman of the group, called dotCYM, stressed that “the Welsh language and culture is a community that should be identified”.

The petition can be signed online at www.dotcym.org.

Grad girls go down Lee Macaulay Reporter

UCAS have announced that the number of women applying for university places this year has decreased.

48,138 people from the UK applied for full time undergraduate university places by October 15, almost 300 fewer than last year. However, women still comprise 55% of British students.

Students applying to study medicine are also down by 2.9% from last year whereas dentistry applications are up by almost 7% across the UK. English Higher Education Minister, Bill Rammell, pointed out that English applications to English universities had increased slightly.

He said: “The critics of the new fees system, who claimed applications would plummet, are being proved wrong.”

However, UCAS admit that such a small number may be insignificant due to the statistical process involved.

In response, National Union of Students president Gemma Tumelty said: “They may be able to pass off this year’s drop in applications as a one off, but two years in a row would be a clear and undeniable reflection of the negative impact that top up fees are having on participation rates.”

PLANE STUPID BLOCKED: Runway protest PLANE: Beware of eco-warriors Karen Eeuwens Reporter POLICE HAVE issued a warning against an eco-warrior who has threatened to cause havoc in airports across Wales.

Environmentalist, Joss Garman, has planned protests in Cardiff and Swansea as part of a campaign against short-haul flights.

His anti-airline pressure group, Plane Stupid, has gone to extraordinary lengths to raise awareness about

climate change.

In April, Joss and others halted proceedings at the BAA headquarters for over two hours, by chaining themselves to office fixtures.

Then, last month, Nottingham East Midlands Airport was forced to shut down after the activist group arranged for a Baptist minister to carry out a service on the taxi-way.

Joss, 21, insisted that Wales will be badly hit by climate change if nothing is done.

He said: “We always think of cli-

mate change as something which affects somewhere else but it will affect here – birds are arriving later and certain plants are flowering later as a direct result of global warming.”

Graham Lloyd, from South Wales Police, said: “We respect the rights of anyone to peaceful protest.”

However, he added: “South Wales Police will not tolerate any criminality or action that risks public safety.

“As always, if people commit offences they can expect to be dealt with appropriately.”

STAND-OFF: Line holding

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Please sir, can I have some more?

Rachel Clare Reporter STUDENTS DOING the same subject at different universities are receiving wildly different teaching hours, a new report has shown.

Universities in different places are awarding degrees in the same subject to students, which are supposed to be of the same value, even thought the teaching for one may be over 40 hours and the other under 20 hours.

It’s quite obviously common knowledge that some subjects require a lot more teaching hours and time dedication, such as Medicine and

Engineering, than a humanities degree such as English or History.

However, The Higher Education Policy Institute (Hepi) has found that students’ hours on the same subject at different universities vary greatly which some students may find disturbing seeing as everyone pays the same tuition fees (which may change with rising top up fees etc).

Hepi found that students studying medicine or dentistry are spending anything from 29 to 45 hours in teaching and private study, and a history degree can mean anything from about 17.5 hours a week to just over 32.

Something that shocked the authors of the report was how much more

Return to gender Steffi Denton Reporter

STUDENTS: They’re in a classroom teaching the new universities provide than their competitors in the pre-1992 institutions. They find that instead of just offering big lectures, the newer institutions offer smaller seminars with more input from tutors.

Another shocking revelation the authors of the report found was the extent to which teaching has been passed on to Post Graduate Assistants at older, research-led universities.

They conclude that if students want more teaching from qualified academics then they’re better off going to a newer institution.

For example, a student studying biological sciences at new university Sheffield Hallam, can expect a total of

28.4 hours a week of teaching and study time, whereas a student doing the same subject at Sheffield (the neighbouring older university) can expect 23.6 hours.

On the other hand, at the University of Central Lancashire, the teaching hours are only 19.1 hours a week, compared with 43.7 at Cambridge and 35 at Oxford.

The Hepi report says: “The extent of the differences is remarkable, and raises important policy questions. In particular, they raise questions about what it means to have a degree from an English university, if a degree can apparently be obtained with such very different levels of commitment.”

It’s not bloody fair

STUDENTS ACROSS THE UK gathered at blood-donation centres last week, to protest against an “archaic” policy, which prevents gay and bisexual men from donating blood.

The day was organized as part of an ongoing campaign by the NUS’ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans section for the National Blood Service to review its policy.

Students attending the nationwide protest encouraged friends, fellow students and even passers-by to donate blood, on behalf of the many gay and bisexual men who cannot at this moment in time.

The National Blood Service requires 10,000 donations every day to keep up with demand. Only six per cent of the British population give blood and universities are a key recruiting ground for new donors, which makes the rejection of any blood all the more illogical.

The NUS considers the current situ-

Wood you believe it? ation, in which gay and bisexual men are asked if they have ever had unprotected sex, as homophobic. As a result, this effectively leads to a ‘lifetime ban’ on blood donation, with no individual circumstances taken into consideration.

Scott Cuthbertson, NUS LGBT officer who co-ordinated the event said: “Students across the UK are very angry about this discrimination.

“The questions asked at blood donation sessions mean that all gay and bisexual men are banned from giving blood for life, regardless of their behaviour, whilst high-risk heterosexual people slip through the net.”

Claire Anderson, NUS LGBT Officer, who led the London stand, commented: “It's not someone's sexual identity that makes them high risk, but their sexual practices.

“Heterosexual people who engage in high-risk behaviour are not banned, but deferred for a limited time; a blanket ban perpetuates the myth that HIV/AIDS is a gay disease, and does not treat donors equally and on the basis of actual risk.”

Steve Myerscough Reporter

HOTO: ED SALTER

Adam Millward News Editor

CARDIFF’S FEMALE students are urged to demand justice against gender violence by demonstrating at the London ‘Reclaim the Night’ March.

The demonstration, which assembles at 6pm on 25 November in Trafalgar Square, was called by the London Feminist Network and marches against the violent abuse and rape of women.

Emphatically supported by NUS Women’s Campaign, and corresponding with UN International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, students are encouraged to organise troops of women to stand-up and be counted.

The British Crime Survey indicates 47,000 rapes occur yearly, with a further 300,000 women left sexually abused.

Statistically, a quarter of women will be abused in the home, and half harassed at work. ‘More’ the magazine’s stated 50% of women were scared to leave their homes at night, and, thus, suffered a non-exciting social life.

The female-only demo, is an opportunity for all women to loudly reclaim the right to live life without the threat of violence.

Shout-out for an end to sexist abuse, and find out more at www.ldnfemnistnetwrk.lk.com.

A NUMBER of Cardiff locations are set to become tourist attractions after being featured in BBC Three’ss new show, Torchwood.

The new series, a spin off from Doctor Who, is based in Cardiff, with Torchwood’s secret headquarters based underneath Cardiff Bay. Fans are already reported to have made pilgrimages to the real life locations from the television show. One of the most popular attractions is likely to be The Oval Basin in the Bay where Torchwood HQ’s invisible lift, which transports the agents from the ‘Hub’ to the surface, is located.

The iconic Wales Millennium Centre has also featured heavily in the series, with one scene showing the two main characters standing on top of the building.

Nearly 2.5 million people tuned into the first two episodes of Torchwood, a record for BBC Three. With popularity like this, the number of fans taking photos of Cardiff locations is set to continue.

gairrhydd

7

WORLD NEWS

NOVEMBER.6.2006

PHOTO: KATIE TREBLE

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

World News in brief Victoria Lane Reporter

Holiday with a bang?

Sri Lanka at war Country breaks into violence as peace talks collapse Katie Treble Reporter PEACE TALKS in Geneva between the Sri Lankan rebel army, the Tamil and the Sri Lankan Government have collapsed.

This has sparked new fears that the violence that has all but shattered the country’s four-year ceasefire is spiraling out of control.

The Liberation Tigers of Tamil Ealam, better known as the Tamil Tigers, agreed to the truce in 2002 after a bloody 19-year civil war which left 65,000 dead.

However the last year has seen the violence resurrected, with bombings, assassinations, ‘disappear-

ances’, extra-judicial killing and fierce retaliation from the Sri Lankan army as the Tigers grapple with the Government for a separate, self-run Tamil homeland.

Following the collapse of the peace negotiations, this week saw the Sri Lankan air force bomb Tamil Tiger targets.

Military spokesman, Prasad Samarasinghe, said: “They are firing artillery and mortar fire at us, so we have retaliated by neutralising targets with an air raid.”

The Tamil Tigers accuse the military of firing first.

The failure of the talks was blamed on refusal by the Government to reopen a north-south highway due to ‘safety fears’. The

demanding ‘tax’.

Collapse of the talks was not unexpected by civilians. “Nothing positive has been achieved so far because both parties do not have clear, honest hearts to solve this eternal problem,” said Tamil, Selvaratnam Dharmarajah.

The Costa del crime

Positive step for rights in China Matt Horwood Reporter CHINA HAS passed legislation that requires all death penalties to be approved by the Supreme Court.

Human-rights groups have welcomed the news but added that further action is needed.

Nicholas Bequelin, a researcher for human rights watch in Hong Kong said: “This is a positive step, but it falls well short of what is needed.”

James Cohen, a U.S expert on the Chinese legal system has applauded the decision, calling the amendment “a step in the right direction.”

The Chinese government refuse to publish execution figures, but it is estimated that in 2005 1,770 people were sentenced to death and almost 4,000 were executed.

Political leaders in China strongly defend capital punishment, arguing that it is an essential tool to fight crime and preserve social order.

Under the new legislation, Chinese state media have estimated that the number of executions could fall by as much as 30%.

highway runs from the Governmentrun south to the rebel-run northern peninsula of Jaffna, where residents have reported that its closure is leading to shortages of food and fuel.

The Government has accused the Tamil Tigers of using it to transport munitions and to raise funds by

DIVIDED: Sri Lanka’s split

Natalie Parkinson Reporter

SPAIN: Crime wave hits

A NEW police campaign has been launched to capture criminals who have migrated to Spain from the UK. The most highlighted criminal activity has been international drug trafficking, with British criminals using Spain as their point of contact.

A ‘crimestoppers costas’ website has now been launched, through www.crimestoppers.org.uk, so that people can call a hotline number and leave anonymous messages if they have seen any of the featured faces.

This is especially aimed at British migrants who could unknowingly be living in the same street as a wanted murderer, prison escapee, drug trafficker or fraudster.

The 2004 European arrest warrant has made it much simpler for British Criminals to be extradited back to Britain. Marabella authorities arrested 41 people last year after a crackdown on fraudster gangs.

Criminals have been fleeing to the

holiday hotspot Costa del Sol nicknamed ‘costa del crime’ since the 1980s after a £6 million armed robbery took place and its assailants were found to be enjoying the spree on the coast of Spain.

Last year Interpol estimated that 18,000 foreign criminals were found to be living the high life in the sunny coastal towns of the Malaga province with the inclusion of over 70 different nationalities.

This campaign is thought to be essential as British criminals are no longer moving to Spain to retire peacefully, but instead are coming to use it as their base for criminal activity.

DRUGS: Trafficking crackdown

OSAMA BIN LADEN’S infamous Tora Bora caves are reportedly being turned into a new holiday destination for intrepid tourists.

The resort is to cost £5.3m and will be built on mountains overlooking bin Laden’s secret lair where he hid in 2001.

Despite news this month of two journalists being killed near to the area, hotels and restaurants are to be built in Afghanistan in an attempt to attract tourists.

Gul Agha Sherazi, a local governor insisted: “Tora Bora is 100% safe.”

Sex explosion SOUTH KOREANS are used to living in the shadow of war, however, despite the October 9 explosions, life has continued as normal.

Condom sales and bookings at pay-by-the-hour ‘love motels’ are booming since the nuclear tests. It is thought that people are seeking solace in sex, with convenience stores reporting condom sales being on average 1,930 per day.

Seong Gyeong-won, the head of the Korea Institute for Sex Education, said: “People tend to have urges to procreate in times of extreme situations.”

Will loses it!

PRINCE WILLIAM, while on firing practice at Sandhurst, lost his machine gun.

The prince was given a severe telling off by senior officers after misplacing the L86 rifle, which fortunately was not loaded at the time. Will was so concerned he borrowed a friend’s bike and spent two hours trying to track it down.

It later turned out that another cadet had picked up the gun and used it instead.

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gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION freewords the voice of gairrhydd

Est. 1972

The key to success?

GAIR RHYDD has run a fair few stories over the past few years about students who’ve had gripes with their letting agency or landlord.

But this week we don’t run with another ‘student in bad housing shocker’ piece, but with the story of a student who had a bad experience, who did something about it and who (almost) got what he wanted out of them.

Greg, the UWIC postgraduate, didn’t just try and fob the agency off with the threat of legal action, he took matters into his own hands and planned some good old fashion protesting.

We’ll never know why Keylet chose the day of our gair rhydd photo shoot to give the student back his bond: it may have been the ‘I hate Keylet tshirt’, it may have been our photographers, it may have been to prevent the public protest outside their offices, or it may just have been that they had sorted out all the paperwork and it was all a bit of a coincidence.

What’s good to know is that Greg isn’t giving up on the demo idea, even though he’s received a portion of his bond back: he’s staying with idea to help others protest about a service which they are not satisfied with. Him and his housemates are planning to publicise the event this week by going out to student bars and clubs and giving out leaflets.

Lazy students ACCORDING TO Camilla ParkerBowles we all far more concerned about boozing and socialising than our studies, while our counterparts in Pakistan have a much stricter, much better work ethic. Although this may be an accurate description of some students, it is a damning boost for the typical student stereotype.

It also shows considerable ignorance on the Duchess of Cornwall's behalf, who never even attended a British higher education institution herself. If she'd done her homework she would realise that, according to recent figures released by the NUS and TUC, one in five students in fact work more than 20 hours a week to fund their degree on top of up to 35 hours of lectures a week. That's hardly bone idol. It is fair enough for Camilla to praise the work ethic of Pakistani students but it should not be at the expense of undermining this country's student population.

Team Cardiff THE LACK of media coverage of the NUS demo last Sunday was very noticeable: the nationals didn’t take too much notice and nor did the main TV channels. If they didn’t, then it’s likely that MPs didn’t much care either.

Although the day may not have been a total success for the top-up fees campaign, it certainly was a success for Cardiff’s reputation. Our President, Vice-President and AU President performed their campaign song Freelove Feeway to the crowd in Trafalger Square. As the only Union on stage, they further established our Union as one of the best in the country.

NOVEMBER.06.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Fanning the flames Annika Henderson validates the reasons for banning flag burning in Britain and discusses the consequences

T

here's nothing quite like a good flag burning on a Sunday evening. With America’s unsuccessful attempt to ban flag burning earlier this year, it is not surprising that Britain itself is now attempting to get the law passed.

Many might argue that this is simply a further example of how Britain remains securely snuggled in the pocket of George Bush; a tool to be used and abused to express the views of America and the policies that favour them. But one cannot underestimate the power of independent thought in this country – both on the side of the protester and the side of the government.

Flag burning is an act normally associated with wild, crazed protests taking part outside of Britain, with unruly protesters in masks firing guns and waving burning flags.

It appears, however, that these preconceptions are rather off the mark and are, in fact, fabricated by ambitious cameramen trying to capture the ‘atmosphere’ of a protest. Flag burning is indeed a problem in this country, and seems to be a popular way for protesters to express their opinions about a certain country’s government and all that it stands for.

Nevertheless, such a display of opinion simply drums up hate and anger among the protesters and neglects the real point of a protest, which is to strive for change. Such negative emotions often lead to extremely violent protests and give protesters, as a whole, a bad name.

After the recent protests outside Westminster cathedral, at which the protest organiser called for the Pope to face capital punishment, it is clear that these unruly protesters are abusing the right to speak their minds. In response to claims that the police were not doing enough to control the protesters on this occasion, officers claimed that they simply did not have enough authority or laws over the protesters and hence were powerless to stop them.

Such a disregard for authority should not be tolerated. It demonstrates the urgent need for new laws to be introduced. When such a protest turns violent, it is the innocent members of the public who are victimised, not the corporations being criticised.

It is time something was done to separate the wheat from the chaff and the real protesters from the ones just looking to cause trouble, since it is the latter who are giving the protesters a bad name. Freedom of speech is a

right that should not be abused because, if done so, the privilege may be removed in an instant. Protests are a key way to get involved with an issue and gain support on a particular matter. Often, protests achieve great things and get the attention of those at whom they are aimed. An important thing to note is that the majority of the successful protests are peaceful protests. If someone were to shout abuse at you, would you listen? Most probably not, and the same goes for these hooligans who are posing as protesters.

It is the innocent members of the public who are victimised, not the corporations being scrutinised Through the banning of flag burning, the government would be sending a clear message to these unruly pro-

testers, and would also offer comfort to those peaceful protesters who are so often wrongly blamed.

Flag burning is an aggressive way to portray a point. How can one generalise in such a way and group a whole nation’s population, represented by the flag, as having the same views as the government? Just like the Westminster protester’s comment about the Pope, flag burning shows a fundamental lack of respect for other people and their beliefs. Respect is a constitutive part of any community, regardless of race, political stance, gender or age.

Furthermore, it is essential that people do not generalise and assume that this proposed policy will mirror exactly that of the USA’s. The aim and motives of Scotland Yard’s ban are quite different to that of America’s.

Where the USA government’s proposal was motivated by national pride and patriotism, Scotland Yard’s is aiming to control fractious protesters, whose purpose is not to protest but to cause carnage and separation among minorities and under-represented classes. The intention should not be to

divide a country, but to bring it closer together.

Through such a ban, Scotland Yard are not suggesting that people are no longer entitled to freedom of speech; such a suggestion would be unthinkable, not to mention unethical. They are simply looking for a solution to the escalating hostility in Britain between different cultural groups.

We live in a time in which communities are increasingly divided, and people are quick to judge and seek blame for world issues. It is no use accusing the innocent and fuelling the problem by showing hostility towards misrepresented groups. The only way to tackle the issue is to unite, not to divide further and further. By burning a national symbol, one is simply burning the ties between communities and, furthermore, the world.

The only task now is for the government to set straight the regulations of such a law, to prevent innocent people from once again falling victim to policies set out primarily to control the guilty. Would accidental ignition lead to a prison sentence? Or would the law serve its purpose and put an end to these hooligan antics?

CALLING ALL

STUDENTS...

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A HOUSE YOU SHARE WITH YOUR MATES, BUT YOU ALSO GET YOUR OWN SPACE

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Urban Lifestyle

In great locations

Friendly People On hand to help

Student Living

With your friends

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EDITORIAL & OPINION

NOVEMBER.06.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Planet of the thetans Natalie Parkinson explores the increasingly prominent religion of Scientology and questions the financial requirements associated with it

T

he London building of the Church of Scientology opened on October 22, costing £24 million pounds. No wonder it’s already enshrined in controversy.

With 124,000 British members and with adherents increasing by five percent in the past three years, it is difficult to see if this is yet another fazed cult like the Branch Davidians of Waco.

Scientology certainly has its famous role models, such as Tom Cruise and John Travolta, but as with Madonna and Kabbalah it seems like another whim of the rich and famous.

L. Ron Hubbard - a science fiction writer - established Scientology in 1954. It literally means ‘knowing how to know’. It is surprising to hear this over 50-year-old date of conception due to the sudden frenzy attached to Scientology, which is why its consistency is questionable.

Is there a high chance that Scientology will just fizzle out? Is it just another trend? Does this matter?

Some may take the liberal view and argue that it’s what people believe now, so they should be left to get on with it.

Christians believe in God, so why can’t people believe in Scientology?

Christians already have their places of worship, so why shouldn’t the late Hubbard’s minions spend 24 million on a building to represent their beliefs?

Others may see it as a waste of money, which could be spent on better things than a religion making a spectacle of itself. David Miscavige, Chairman of the Church of Scientology said, “We are about to drive home the message. This is Scientology like you have never seen.”

The ceremony involved balloons, red carpets, and speeches from the chair-

9

man of the Board of Religious Technology Centre.

Sceptics of the religion argue that it is just a means of making money from its members. Germany has gone even further, introducing a ban on it altogether, despite a visit from Tom Cruise in 2002.

L. Ron Hubbard’s most quoted words are: “Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion.” The religion has been known to ask for a minimum of £240

Sceptics argue that Scientology is just a means of making money from its members a year as a requisite of membership.

One of the protesters at the launch, among the ‘Stop Scientology Ruining Lives’ banners, claimed to have been a Scientology member until the constant requirement of payment lost him his home. This further highlights the trend of people who have time and money on their hands being occupied with cults. You don’t see people who are poor joining things such as this. It encourages the question: is it just something to fill up people’s time, a project that people can immerse themselves in, a bit like knitting or rock climbing?

The chairman of Scientology claims it can improve children’s education, reduce re-offending amongst criminals, and combat drug addiction. The hierarchical system within Scientology is emphasised by the distribution of

www.gairrhydd.com http://freewords.gairrhydd.com The online newspaper and blog for Cardiff students

so-called medals. The more the follower has donated, the more prestigious the medal, reinforcing the role that money plays in the Scientology system.

The beliefs of members stem from the idea that everyone originates from immortal aliens called ‘Thetans,’ which came to Earth 75 million years ago. To become an Operating Thetan one must rid oneself of agonising memories via counselling, involving the measurement of this pain by an electropsychometer. It all sounds a lot like something out of Planet of the Apes.

As well as promoting anti-drug and anti-psychiatry campaigns, Scientology advocates the process of a silent birth. This has been looked on with much criticism, especially since the birth of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s baby girl - both members of the movement. It is the promotion of a relaxing and peaceful environment for a birth and is basically labour without words. The mother is still allowed to express pain, just as little as possible, in harmony with key beliefs.

It is easy to assume that Scientology is just another trend for those with money, but there are some good elements of the religion, based around spiritual well-being. However, as detailed above, there are also many controversial beliefs.

The nature of religion means belief is a very personal thing and solely based on faith. If we are to critique the doctrines of Scientology, to be fair we must apply equal scrutiny to the quirks and irrationalities of the other, more popular, faiths.

CRUISE: Spreading the word

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gairrhydd

COMMENT

NOVEMBER.06.2006 COMMENT@gairrhydd.COM

? ? The Ridler ??

Global Admission of guilt? warning

?

?

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

A

politician strolling down past Trafalgar square last week might have seen the protest with, and these are official NUS figures (for which read: probably wrong) 15,000 students in attendance.

They may if they were lucky have been treated to a bit of crooning from our very own Union President, VP and AU president. Maybe a few of them had a jig.

I wonder if those in Whitehall knew what the protest was about?

You see that’s the problem with NUS protests. They don’t really know what they’re about themselves.

Yeah, it’s all about the top up fees, until Tony Benn or some equally powerful speaker comes on. Then it’s ‘no war for oil’.

Then it steadily progresses to pull our troops out of Iraq. Because students really can make a difference in 21st century British security policy making yeah man!

Of course, somewhere near the back there are at least ten students who just want Bush out of the Whitehouse, and those few who want to impose continuous revolution on the world to turn it into an egalitarian soviet.

Somewhere amongst them all, there are 60 students who managed to drag themselves out of bed on a Sunday morning in sunny Cardiff and make it all the way to London.

And who cares? Who notices? Brief news coverage and an appearance for our sabbatical team on Sky News is all good coverage for our Union, but ultimately the aim is not achieved.

Uncapped top-up fees are on their way.

The reason the aim is not achieved is simple, really really simple. It’s not the right way to go about it.

A groundswell of public opinion does not always mean that something

Given the fact that students are the ones affected by top-up fees there are very few actually willing to turn up is bad for the country, and given the fact that students are the ones affected by top up fees there are very few (out of all the national universities) who are actually willing to turn up to protest about it. 15,000? Across the whole

“A letting agent has no choice but to take a protester seriously”

I

t would be nice to say that it is no surprise to see students dealing with letting agencies in their own way, and not letting them take them for fools.

Unfortunately, of course, it would also be a complete lie.

It is in fact immensely suprising to see students approaching a problem with some of the world’s most litigious buggers, letting agents, with a typically student-esque approach that has

actually yielded results.

Rather than weild the useless tool of a solicitors letter or pointless threats of legal action, this student has sorted matters out for himself.

Wearing an ‘I Hate Keylet’ t-shirt and toting a similarly themed banner this student organised a mini protest over the way he felt he and others had been treated. Just minutes after he posed for photos with our very own photographer, he received a portion of

UK? That’s not even the size of one large university.

If the NUS wants to get its aims achieved then it needs to realise one or two things. One, the age of the student protest is long gone when it comes to top-up fees.

Secondly, there is nothing going to be achieved by shouting in Trafalgar square when the power lies in offices in Whitehall.

Thirdly, and finally, nobody actually cares about what the NUS has to say because it is rapidly drifting away from its members. Nobody hears about what the NUS is doing. Nobody sees our representation in action.

The NUS has the power, properly

run, to make a big difference in peoples everyday lives.

It’s time, if you’re reading this Gemma Tumulty (if you don’t know who she is then thank you for proving my point), right now, to concentrate on fights we can win and make political allies of rising stars without being taken for a ride every time.

Admission impossible? More of an admission of guilt. Guilty of failing to make a diffference, guilty of failing students.

Fight for the students, fight for better support, fight to keep the damned Union alive before it dies on its feet, but for the love of sanity, stop fighting against top-up fees.

his bond back.

A reponse like this is something that would most probably have taken absolutely ages via the normal legal routes.

There are several reasons for this, initially, the fact that legal letters from students really aren’t that intimidating.

As your average letting agency know, students have precious little money, aren’t on the whole all that organised and are prone to bursts of rage over their horrible rat-infested housing with a hole in the wall that their landlord promised to fix over summer. They can be calmed down with promises that the problems will be solved.

Therefore a letter with the threat of legal action is hardly going to bother them.

If they want to make the problem go away then they can just allow it to progress. I certainly wouldn’t wan t to foot a lawyer’s fee just to get my bond back.

Direct action then, is probably the best way.

A letting agency has no choice but to take a protester seriously or lose custom, and in a city like Cardiff when you’re never more than 50 yards away from a letting agent, it’s hardly going to be a problem for a potential customer to stroll down the road and let a house from somebody who doesn’t come with their own mini protest group attached.

So well done that man, for pressuring a decent sized company in a way that they just couldn’t resist.

Long live this little revolution!

A

nother year, another over-reactionary response to another over-reactionary report on global warming then. The Pope remains Catholic.

The Stern report has all of one difference to anything we’ve been told since before Al Gore had created the Internet: it was written by a leading economist.

This break with the tradition of environmental reports being written by members of Greenpeace and environmental terrorists (also known, to some, as the Independent’s news team) does in fact make it very interesting.

Still, calls for tighter enforcement and higher taxes are desperately missing the point.

It’s high time we realised, that when life is limited by the source of fuel that you are using, you need to find another source of fuel We cannot solve global warming by unilaterally deconstructing the countries economy with punitive taxes.

Taxes to bring the cost of pollution home to companies will certainly clean up our act; because industries that are affected by them will move to America, who still are refusing to enter into the Kyoto protocols.

Incidentally, I don’t think that will happen, because, and I thank my lucky stars every day for this, taxes are not under the control of People and Planet, or any other environmental group (like the Tory party [insert irony here]) What needs to happen from this report however, probably won’t happen either.

While everybody needs to turn off their lights and not overboil kettles and all that, it is high time that we realised that when life is limited by the source of fuel you are using, you need to find another source of fuel.

Research and development, therefore, is where it’s at. Perhaps if we spent billions on that instead of funding expensive alliances and military excursions, global warming could be a thing of the past.

gairrhydd

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POLITICS & ENVIRONMENT

NOVEMBER.06.2006 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

A politics and environment special

Global change and the political environment

Dissecting the Stern Report Chris White Environment Correspondent

T

hough the Stern Review contains little that is new, rather stringing together a lot of existing information, the extensive media coverage has confirmed its place as one of the most significant Governmentsponsored reports in decades.

The reason is simple: it’s the first document on Climate Change to be compiled by an economist. If you tell someone that we’re all going to die hideously on a boiling planet they’ll dismiss you as a crackpot.

If, on the other hand, you tell them they’ll be hit in the wallet, they’ll start listening to every word you say.

air.

But Ainsworth and Miliband don’t even recognise that we should walk before we try running.

much, but because of pollution.

But Environment Secretary David Miliband, the chap in the decisionmaking chair for the moment, is in on the act too. The Government plans to increase the Landfill Tax, paid for by those who bury rubbish, from £21 per ton to £75 by 2013, While nobody is denying that the questions of limited resources and buggering up places of natural beauty are problems, the pressing matter is that of climate change – and recycling doesn’t help.

Recycling plastics is tricky business as only polymers

No emissions please, we’re British The Conservatives aren’t leaving their misunderstandings there. The party that has traditionally pushed for minimal State involvement, preferring to leave markets to get on with it, are supporting the introduction of the Climate Change Bill.

To Peter Ainsworth’s credit, he gets it partly right when he says that “We must… move quickly to a global low carbon economy.”

Given that the usual bedfellow of Green politics is woolly, ‘fair-trade’ socialism, this pisses on

But what does it mean?

Bigger taxes, and more of them.

The biggest effect to the man on the street is the creation of new environmental taxes, or increases in the existing ones.

These ‘Pigovian’ taxes - after economist Arthur Pigou - are designed to account for the factors not already considered by the market - in the case of fuel tax, to bring in revenue to provide for the means to counteract the adverse effects of pollution (and to deter people from creating emissions and causing environmental damage unnecessarily).

The boffins that did the calculations came up with a figure of 10p per litre on petrol as the correct value.

We’re currently stung for 51p per litre in tax, so we’re already overpaying.

A more cynical writer might suggest that the money is instead being used to finance the overseas adventures that keep us in fuel.

There’s the Chancellor’s first challenge: persuading the public to pay more for something for which they already pay five times too much.

But do They understand it anyway?

Probably not.

In Parliament last week, Shadow Secretary of State for the Environment Peter Ainsworth said of the Stern Report: “I cannot pretend I have had the chance to read all 700 pages (I hope it was printed on recycled paper!)…”

Ainsworth has made the schoolboy error of conflating the problem of climate change with that of limited natural resources, and with other general - “roads are, like, really ugly, man” ‘green’ issues. This is perhaps unsurprising from the Conservative Party, whose environmental adviser, the Economist’s health editor Pat Thomas, has come up with the truly barking theory that people are fatter in cities not because they eat too

A cynical writer might suggest petrol tax funds our overseas adventures

which are exactly the same will mix together.

Recycling paper reduces the demand for virgin paper and is thought to result in fewer trees being planted, reducing the effectiveness of a natural way to suck up carbon emissions.

And when the green bags destined for various recycling facilities are collected separately, the tens of thousands of extra bin wagons mean even more pollutants are pumped into the

most environmentalists’ fire considerably.

The Climate Change Bill requires that the UK reduce carbon emissions by 60% by the year 2050. All well and good, but if the rest of the world does nothing then we’re still stuck up a creek whose water level is ever-rising. But the rest of the world will do something, and the Climate Change Bill is that classic New Labour construction that legislates for something that will more than likely happen on its own without their interference – in 10-20 years, the developed world will be emitting minimal greenhouse gases.

Hydrogen economy There are two simple reasons why worldwide emissions will be reduced by normal processes of innovation and market forces: (1) before too long there’ll be no fossil fuels to cause carbon emissions, (2) businesses can make money selling environmentally friendly alternatives – and one should never underestimate the ability of businesses to swell their bank accounts. These both involve hydrogen.

Hydrogen can be produced from water, or from the methane emitted by the decomposition of, for example, paper - another good reason to bung it in a landfill rather than recycle, for now. Any carbon-containing gases created as a by-product can be sequestered on-site and put to a useful purpose rather than released into the atmosphere.

Though Hydrogen can never be used as a fuel source - as it takes more energy to produce than can be usefully extracted - it can be used for energy storage and transfer, or as fuel for moving vehicles.

Renewable sources or nuclear power, for which there is enough fuel to last us at least the next 10,000 years with projected future energy use, can be used to extract Hydrogen, which can then be used either as a direct fuel in the case of aircraft - it can fuel the Space Shuttle - or in fuel cells for cars.

The major advantage: its only byproduct from combustion is water.

Vehicles powered by Hydrogen will initially be expensive, and affordable only by super-rich environmentalists. Like any other commodity, their price will drop and use become more commonplace as the drive to sell more and more units worldwide makes them cheaper to produce.

The only role for the Government is to make sure they end up cheaper than existing hydrocarbon-burning options, possibly by employing environmental subsidies. So little need for Bills and the long arm of the State.

Reviewing the Review What the review has usefully done is to help bring Climate Change to the top of the agenda of all three mainstream parties, for which we should be truly thankful.

Indeed, Liberal Democrat environment spokesman Chris Huhne pointed out that Labour has “borrowed” their environmental policy describing it as a ‘carbon’ copy. Ha ha ha.

What do we do in the meantime, before we have to buy the Hydrogen cars? Well, turning the lights off, and getting the bus can’t hurt. But don’t recycle.

12 gairrhydd

POLITICS & ENIRONMENT

NOVEMBER.06.2006 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

The Global Village nd politics a nt special e environm

T

he US is regularly criticised for its stance on the Kyoto Agreement. A US official has described Kyoto as “an unrealistic and ever-tightening regulatory straitjacket, curtailing energy consumption”.

Most Western countries signed the agreement and have taken the US's decision not to sign negatively. The US refuses to sign on the grounds that Kyoto does not safeguard developed nations against the increase of fossil fuel use by developing nations.

President Bush said: “the treaty requirements would harm the US economy, leading to economic losses of $400 billion and costing 4.9 million jobs.”

But due to its size and federal make up certain states do perform better than others, much like Europe.

California is a commonly used example of to show the US pledge to the environment, with numerous reductions on car emissions and higher taxes on non-renewable energy resources.

Former US vice-president, Al Gore has recently challenged US beliefs on climate change, thereby highlighting the issue to more Middle Americans. Moreover, America has some of its leading scientists working on reducing carbon emissions and finding renewable fuels. It is more the case of finding the right political climate, not environmental one, to enforce the change. TH

So what are our neighbours’ views on the effects of climate change? gair rhydd breaks it down for you.....

S

weden ranks well above the rest of the world when it comes to climate policy.

For the last ten years the Swedish Government has been working on a series of sweeping reforms, aimed at reducing the carbon footprint for each member of its population. There have been huge tax cuts for environmentally

friendly vehicles, as well as significant subsidies for renewable energy projects. Arguably the biggest success of the Swedish Govt. has been their continual efforts to keep climate change in the nation's media, and therefore in the minds of the population. CM

T B

razil is a major player in the ongoing climate change negotiations.

Studies have shown how dramatic environmental changes like the deforestation of the Amazon have affected global climate changes. Brazil's Amazon rainforest hosts 30% of the world's remaining tropical forests. It provides shelter to one tenth of the world's plant and animal species and it acts as a significant mechanism for removing excess carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.

According to the World Bank, an acre of Amazon rainforest sequesters about 1,000 pounds of carbon dioxide annually.

Deforestation is becoming a threat to the country’s biodiversity and delicate ecosystems. The Brazilian Ministry of Environment and Natural Resources, Ibama, has been taking an active role in

protecting the country's environment through regulation and enforcement.

Brazil is, however, a leader in Latin America in the use of renewable energy sources, namely hydroelectricity and ethanol. As a developing country, Brazil is not required to reduce its carbon emissions.

Although Brazil has its fair share of problems, it has done a great deal to improve environmen-

tal management over the past two decades and has been given a loan of US$505 million from the World Bank. Despite the importance of its natural resource base, Brazil faces major challenges to reverse a trend of unsustainable use of its natural resources. The loan recognises the country’s efforts and achievements to better integrate environmental objectives with social and economic ones.

LH

he wide spread coverage on the recent development of India highlights issues of deforestation, soil erosion and, more evidently, the rapid population explosion.

The growth rate hit 1.38% in 2006, causing a severe strain on natural resources.

With the increased vehicle population, air pollution is rising, as is the electricity demand due to the increase in population.

So what is the solution?

In 1992, India signed the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change as a non-Annex I country, meaning it is not obligated to reduce its emissions of carbon and greenhouse gases.

While India acknowledges it is vital to reduce harmful emissions and to promote environmental policies, the Indian government

O

ne of the significant consequences of China's rapid industrial development over the last 30 years has been the disastrous impact on its environment. In a 1998 report, seven of the 10 most polluted cities in the world were in China.

Its rates of air pollution are particularly high, largely due to the amount of coal used in energy production. Though China is a signatory of the Kyoto agreement, it is currently exempt from reducing its carbon emissions, as is India.

But China's exceptional rate of growth means that in decades to come it will become one of, if not the heaviest polluter on earth.

One cause for optimism is the approach of the Olympic games in 2008, which have prompted China to tackle its pollution to impress the millions of visitors it will soon be receiving.

AR

also places a high priority on economic development.

To date, India's energy consumption is still below that of Germany, Japan and China, which will remain the case if the government discorouges firms from generating electricity by using older, inefficient coal fired plants.

Nonetheless, in the absence of coordinated government efforts, including stricter enforcement, air pollution is likely to continue to worsen in the coming years as urbanisation and vehicle ownership increases.

The Indian government's ability to protect the country's environment will depend on its success in promoting policies that keep the economy growing, while simultaneously providing necessary energy needs to satisfy the population’s growing energy requirements. AB

Scene from the Ganges

gairrhydd

13

POLITICS & ENVIRONMENT

NOVEMBER.06.2006 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

Sleazy being green

p o litic s a e n v i r o n m en d n t s p e c ia l

As the battle for the eco-vote intensifies, Politics looks at the past records and future policies of all three main contenders Andy Rennison Political Editor

U

ntil now the arena of party politics has kept environmental issues purring in the wings. Though Mother Nature has grabbed brief political headlines in the past, it is only recently that the green issue has cemented itself at the forefront of parliamentary business.

At the last general election, eco politics were largely confined to a few voices among the Lib Dems, and of course the entire chorus of the Greens.

Now the environment has taken the limelight right across the political spectrum, thanks partly to the bornagain hippies that are Cameron’s Conservatives, worrying wake-up calls like the recent Stern report, and an unprecedented number of terrifying Independent front pages.

Yet at the moment, the hollow rhetoric regarding the environment has far outweighed solid, credible substance.

Action and policy are often taking the backseat to finger wagging and photos of glaciers crashing into the sea.

So out of the three big parties, who has the trousers to match the mouth?

Labour has what is certainly a mixed record when it comes to the environment. Having roared to power in 1997, Blair quickly made a variety of environmental pledges, such as emission reduction and a commitment to the ‘escalator’ of petrol tax hikes.

Britain under Labour was also instrumental in pushing the Kyoto protocol through kicking and screaming.

However, the government admitted earlier this year that targets for curbing emissions by 2010 would be missed.

Elsewhere, a number of prominent sticking points, such as the fuel escalator, have fallen through.

Now in the current climate, Labour have been fairly slow to fully react to the green U-turn of the Tories and the raised voices of the Lib Dems.

GROWING: green politics are surrounding Westminster pointing to the government’s patchy environmental record.

With his premiership drawing to an end, Blair is eager to achieve things in the areas with long-term repercussions.

The PM’s concern over his legacy may thus spur on government efforts to tackle the green issues.

David Cameron on the other hand has a potential legacy spanning out before him. Shallow PR it may have been, but the Tories’ recent focus on all things green has undoubtedly helped bring the issues to the fore.

The Conservative record is arguably the worst when it comes to the environment. Rather than vehement opposition, the Tories have traditionally just not bothered with green matters. Only a few years ago, the Climate Change levy introduced by Labour met with

The upcoming Climate Change bill to be included in the Queen’s speech is seen as key to indicating the government’s direction for its remaining term.

Environment Minister David Miliband has already committed to setting emission targets for 2030 and 2050, and to establishing a Carbon Committee to oversee the job in hand.

Commenting on the proposals, Mr Miliband told gair rhydd, “Taken together these represent an ambitious and coherent - package. We are determined to enhance Britain’s competitive position and believe that business in particular will benefit from the longterm framework that is so important for effective investment decisions.”

But opposition parties have criticised the lack of further legislation to cover such eco-issues as transport,

resistance from the opposing bench.

But times have changed.

Mr Cameron and his Environment spokesman Peter Ainsworth have called on the government to go further with their Climate Change Bill, demanding annual emission targets rather than ones every 20 years.

“We don’t want a watered down Climate Change Bill; we want a bill that will create a Green revolution throughout Government”, said Mr Ainsworth.

Labour have labelled this idea impractical, and it has been suggested that the Tories are asking for more simply to parade their green credentials.

These credentials, though prominent, are currently largely unsubstantiated, with Cameron’s green policy review not due in full until next year.

The Tories have instead cried foul play over Labour’s green tax proposals, Mr Ainsworth stating that “Here again, we got there before him. We have been calling for a re-balancing of taxation to reward activities which do not contribute to climate change and to bear down on those that do.”

That the government and the official opposition can bicker over who got green first seems faintly ridiculous, since the Lib Dems have been far and away the most mainstream advocates of the environment for years.

This was reflected at their recent conference when they unveiled a revised tax policy with the focus shifted even further onto eco-friendly taxation. Since then, Labour and the Conservatives have also, as mentioned, gone green on tax.

Yet even the Lib Dem’s environmental background is not spotless.

Their rhetoric has on occasion failed to materialize on the ground, one example being in Norwich, where Liberal councilors backed the proposed expansion of an airport.

Regardless, Cameron’s media onslaught is eroding the Lib Dem’s platform as the main green choice.

Their Environment spokesman Chris Huhne reflected with bitter amusement on the ground being lost, saying in Parliament that Labour’s new green taxes “bore more than a passing resemblance to a package the Liberal Democrats voted on at Brighton. One could almost say that it was a carbon copy of our policies.”

With the central Tories on one side and the vocal Green party on the other, Sir Ming’s party is in danger of being squeezed out of the eco-equation.

In the battle to win the green vote, many have pointed to the past to slander their opponents. But though no party bears an unblemished environmental record, the forward momentum and progressive attitude that has finally gripped Westminster is surely the part of this current climate to focus on.

What do you think? Cardiff students on climate change

Lee, 3rd year Dan, 1

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14 gairrhydd

FEATURES

NOVEMBER.06.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

Breast cancer: no

As breast cancer month comes to an end, awareness is at an all time who are diagnosed each year, but the fact still remains that breast cancer is not an exclusively female disease.

the youngest man to be diagnosed with breast cancer was aged just twentyfour.

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Can all men get it?

Male breast tissue

The risk of men contracting breast cancer is rare. But some men are at a higher risk than others. By studying past cases of breast cancer in men, trends have emerged revealing the men who are at a higher risk of developing breast cancer.

If a man has any family history of breast cancer, ovarian cancer or cancer of the colon he can be at a greater risk.

It does not matter if it is a male or female relation who suffered from any of these forms of cancer; the familial link is still present and can be passed on.

Men who have undergone radiation therapy in their youth are also at a higher risk of breast cancer, due to mutations that may have occurred during radiation treatment whilst their bodies were still developing. Sufferers of the genetic condition Klinefelter’s syndrome are also more prone, due to the extra female chromosome present in their genes.

High levels of oestrogen, a female hormone, can also make men more susceptible to the disease. Although high oestrogen levels can be an effect of a genetic condition, obesity is also a cause which raises the amount of the oestrogen hormone present.

A man who is overweight by the age of thirty has twice as much chance of developing breast cancer, as well as many other illnesses. If obesity rates continue to rise, the number of breast cancer cases in men may also continue to rise.

Although most cases of breast cancer among men occur in men over 60, it is becoming increasingly more common in men younger than this. To date,

Research from America shows that it takes an average of 19 months between the discovery of the first symptom and actual diagnosis in male sufferers. This is because men do not immediately associate lumps in their chest with breast cancer and so deliberate over seeking medical attention.

This is particularly worrying as the small amount of breast tissue in men means it can spread faster, and can become a particularly voracious form of cancer.

The most common symptom of breast cancer is a lump under the nipple or around the pectoral muscle. It is actually easier to feel the lumps in a man’s chest than in a woman’s.

Suspicious lumps can also be located under the arm and other symptoms include swelling of the breast or pec, sores in the chest area, and nipple retraction.

hroughout October, high street shops were selling Tshirts, pyjamas and underwear endorsed by supermodels and emblazoned with ‘Tickled Pink’ slogans and pink ribbons as part of Breast Cancer Awareness month.

These campaigns mean that awareness of breast cancer is at an all time high. Or is it?

Women have breasts and so can get breast cancer. False. Women have breast tissue and so can get breast cancer. True. Men have breast tissue and so can get breast cancer. True.

It’s one of the best-kept secrets of the moment: men suffer from breast cancer. It isn’t a male variation; it is the exact same cancer that affects thousands of women each year. The number of men who are suffering from breast cancer is on the rise, but still so few people know about it. Aware?

Maybe not.

Men don’t have breasts

While some men are dubbed as having ‘man boobs,’ these are not the men who are diagnosed with breast cancer.

A guy with man boobs can develop breast cancer, but so can a man with the most perfect pecs.

The tissue beneath the nipple is where the cancerous tumours grow and spread from. As all men have breast tissue underneath their skin it is completely irrelevant what the chest looks like on the outside.

Around 300 men are diagnosed with breast cancer annually in the UK. This accounts for less than one percent of all breast cancer sufferers. Three hundred may seem an insignificant figure in comparison to the 42,000 women

Is it the same for men and women?

When a man is suspected to have breast cancer he will undergo exactly the same procedures as a woman.

Firstly a mammogram will be performed to determine whether or not cancer is present.

Men with cancer in their breast then undergo a mastectomy. In a woman this involves the removal of the breast, and in a man this involves removal of most of the affected pec including the nipple, in order to remove the breast tissue.

The treatment after the mastectomy can include chemotherapy, radiation therapy or hormonal therapy. These

! 25 20 " 15 frequency ( % of patients)

Amy Harrison Features Editor

10 5

"

"<40

40-49 50-59 60-69 70-79 80-89 >89

Age (groups)

This illustrates the age distribution of male breast cancer patients in this study. This is expressed as a percentage of the total number of patients. Note the predilection for older men. types of treatment are offered to both men and women.

Generally the symptoms, diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer are the same irrespective of the sufferer’s sex.

The risks and causes of breast cancer are the only things that vary between men and women with the disease.

The only extra information women receive relates to the possibility of reconstructive surgery and prostheses.

As well as the medical similarities of breast cancer in men and women, the trauma is also no different.

Diagnosis of breast cancer is devestating irrespective of sex. The cancer can be just as malignant in men as in women and, if left unnoticed, can be worse.

Biased information Men who suffer from breast cancer get exactly the same medical treatment, although many still feel there is

a bias towards breast cancer as something which affects women only.

For a man suffering breast cancer little mention is made towards reconstruction of the breast. The physical loss from a mastectomy is a lot more noticable in a woman than in a man, and, during consultations with doctors, male sufferers say that the prospect of reconstructing a male’s breast is completely disregarded.

Many male sufferers regard reconstruction as something that is particularly aimed at women and is apparently deemed irrelevant for men. Some men comment that they feel lopsided after undergoing a mastectomy, just as many women do.

Just as women can similarly feel less of a woman post mastectomy, men can also feel less of a man after the removal of their nipple and pec. Some male sufferers have undergone reconstructive surgery, but generally the idea is not widespread amongst male suffer-

gairrhydd

15

FEATURES

NOVEMBER.06.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

ot just for girls

e high, yet few people realise the disease affects men not just women ers and not promoted by doctors.

For a man to visit a breast cancer clinic, the exprience is also very biased. Female patients dominate the waiting rooms and presume that any man present will be waiting for his wife. Even for women who are suffering breast cancer themselves, the concept of a man suffering from breast cancer is a huge shock.

How do men feel?

The response of most men when diagnosed with cancer is one of utter astonishment. Breast cancer is something that is only ever associated with women, so to be diagnosed with this disease is completely unexpected.

Both male and female sufferers experience the same disease and the same medical treatment. The conflicting emotions felt by men and women are also the same. Embarrassment is an overriding response as breast cancer is predominantly regarded as a woman’s illness.

While women have a large support network on offer to them with raised public awareness, men have very little by way of support. Doctors, nurses and family members do offer help, but for many men breast cancer is very isolating.

Every man that suffers from breast cancer has a different outlook. Some see losing a breast to be insignificant to them, as male breasts are not functional or definitive of their sex. Other men feel the need for reconstruction to restore their manliness. Some feel an overiding sense of guilt that they have passed on the potential of the disease to their children.

The media’s response Internet forums reveal a great deal about the feelings and emotions

endured by men suffering with breast cancer. There is a strong sense of dissatisfaction with the representations of breast cancer that are portrayed in the media.

One thread tells a story of a man who was invited to be a guest on Vanessa’s Real Lives. The man was more than happy to tell his story of breast cancer and to raise awareness of this type of cancer in men.

When he arrived he was rather bemused to discover other guests included a woman with no legs, a man who had liposuction and three men who had undergone sex changes, one of whom was only seventeen when he had the operation.

After speaking with the producer it was revealed that the show was about body change and not solely about breast cancer in men.

The show was filmed and the guests were introduced one by one. The man with breast cancer was scheduled to be the last guest to tell his story, but as time ran over, his story was completely cut from schedule.

In the message, he writes of his anger, how he felt his story was trivialised because it didn’t share the same shock factor as someone who underwent elective amputation.

Another thread tells of a man who was approached by Woman magazine to tell his story. The magazine went to print, and the man was shocked when he bought the magazine to read the word ‘pervert’ at the top of his story.

The article made the man out to be obsessed with breasts. After suffering a tremendous amount of pain, the man was devestated to have been presented in such an ignorant way.

Another repeated sentiment in the forums is the wording used by the media when referring to men with breast cancer. Using the term, ‘male breast cancer,’ is felt to be particularly

insensitve. Whether breast cancer is suffered by men or women it will always be just breast cancer. Many men on the forums feel agitated by the distinction that is made by the inconsiderate wording.

Tickled pink not blue For the last month it has been nearly impossible to escape the campaigns for breast cancer awareness. The pink campaigns do raise awareness, they do raise money for research, they do offer a support network for sufferers, but they don’t promote awareness of male suffering.

Some male sufferers have taken it upon themselves to have blue ribbons made and key rings to promote awareness. But this is all on a small scale and does not have the same affect as the pink campaign.

Perhaps it will take a male celebrity to be diagnosed with breast cancer before people actually start to take notice.

Word on the street While talking to male and female students, I received a variety of responses when I asked what they knew about breast cancer in men.

Two thirds of students I met were shocked to discover that breast cancer didn’t just affect women. One girl’s face fell in utter surprise and she replied “I know men get prostate cancer, but I never thought they could get breast cancer.” One male student who was actually wearing a pink ribbon for breast cancer said he had never heard of men suffering from breast cancer.

Those who were aware of breast cancer in men knew that it was only a small amount of men who suffered from this form of cancer. Knowledge of male breast cancer was predomi-

nantly informed by shock stories in newspapers.

When I asked whether they had heard about the male who had battled to get Herceptin, the general response was that they thought that was a woman.

Final thought Breast cancer in men is rare and doctors and scientists assure that there is no need for men to be checking for lumps.

Any form of cancer can make someone feel isolated, but for men suffering

from a form of cancer so commonly associated with women the isolation can be even greater.

The support between male sufferers of breast cancer in Internet forums is incredible. Yet, there is a clear feeling that the support does not stretch much further than those who have immediate contact with the disease.

When women with breast cancer are treated with so much consideration, ignorance towards male suffering is such an injustice. The pain and trauma endured by women and men are the same, so why should levels of awareness be so different?

Symptoms of male breast cancer

16 gairrhydd

LETTERS

NOVEMBER.06.2006 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com

Frankie

Pyromaniacs FIREWORK NIGHT, a night of oooohs and ahhhhs at pretty sparkles in the sky. Eating toffee apples and hotdogs in the freezing cold, wrapped up in your hat, scarf and gloves. It is a perfect autumnal evening spent with loved ones.

The novelty, however, begins to wear off when people insist on setting off fireworks for weeks either side of

Third year Cathays resident fed up of endless bangs.

Send them to Switzerland I WAS PLEASED to see a few weeks back your piece in Quench about the Student Gumball rally, which your coverage made seem like, frankly, a damn good time, and a desirable proposition for any student with some appropriate wheels.

Yet the wider media’s coverage in recent weeks (especially in the wake of Richard Hammond’s 300mph crash) has left me asking a question: “Why does the world hate cars so much?”

Of course, we all know that they are single-handedly destroying our ozone layer, killing millions of tiny babies on our roads every year and they’re even getting in the way of all those defenceless buses.

Thinking of it, could it be that the constant car vandalism in Cathays isn’t the work of wankers on the lash, but a co-ordinated protest against the evils of the internal combustion engine? Certainly this sort of guerrilla hippy-ism isn’t out of place in our fair

A little apology to anyone who has text in over this week.

Unfortunately the gair rhydd phone is broken and is about to be replaced.

Fear not, the sim card should be OK and we should have usual text services up and running for next issue

city. Cardiff was recently voted the most car unfriendly city in all of the UK; yes, even London with its congestion charges and Birmingham with its bitter ex Rover employees, are nicer to your car than Wales’ fair capital. And let’s not forget it’s not just the wrong side of the law making drivers lives a misery in Cardiff: speed cameras in pointless places, traffic lights every 100 yards, and obscenely wide pavements in traffic bottlenecks (Newport Road anyone?).

And let us not forget about Cardiff motoring’s most wonderful friend, the Parking Nazi. Instead of doing productive things with their day, these friendless, miserable cop-failures hide in the dark and secret places waiting, just waiting. My housemate got a ticket at the start of the year on the day he went over to the Bay to get his resident’s permit, in the time it took for him to go into the house to get a scissors to cut out the permit: some heartless bastard had slapped him with a £60 fine! However, it’s key to remember that under no circumstances will they ever book people who aren’t residents: they will always, and I mean always, happily let tight fisted yuppies in Audis park outside your house for months on end, just so you have to park a quarter of a mile down the road, they’re just that nice.

With talk of even more moves, including congestion charges, against drivers in the near future, I beseech you, liberal, unwashed hippy students of Cardiff, leave us drivers alone, and don’t support this victimisation. I’m

I SOMETIMES THINK students get short changed in the opinions of the local residents of Cathays.

Granted there’s usually plenty of drunken shouting, chucking of bin bags, and smashing bottles to entertain the casual listener at night. But come on, they’re living in a student area, these things shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise.

Although I will agree with them that some student antics are just too much to take. Trick or treaters were a complete pain in the arse last night. Earlier on in the evening it was almost sad when we had to explain to some small children that anything that actually constitutes a treat in our house had already been scoffed. Later on we just refused to answer the door, but as the evening progressed the callers got older and we got less and less polite.

Around midnight I was coming down the stairs and saw through the plate glass window a shadowy figure in our doorway, apparently not a boy racer; frankly, I couldn’t afford it even if I wanted to. I’m just someone who loves Top Gear,and who, like thousands of others in our fair city, loves the freedom and excitement driving offers. Don’t take that away from us because of a bunch of reactionary alarmist car haters. Send them to Switzerland instead....

A Jeremy Clarkson wannabe.

making some adjustments to his costume. I started to make my way downstairs to tell him where he could shove his broomstick, when I realised that this little berk was actually having a piss on my front door!

I took the only natural course of action, opened the door and said 'Yes mate, what can I do for you?'.

He took off like I'd shoved a scud up his arse, rocketing over the walls and rejoined the massive group he'd obviously been with. Manliness told me to chase after him, and ask him if he wouldn’t mind licking it all up again. Reason told me that was a bad idea, because he appeared to have some very big mates. I was about to go back inside when I heard a rustle, and poked my head round the alcove to the next door, only to find another one having a piss there. I said “hello” to him, and he buggered off at the speed of light as well.

What more can I say? I’m choking on my own rage...

A Pissed-off, pissed-on third year.

We will endeavour to print anything that we think is worthwhile, but please remember that we do have space restrictions and some standards of decency. Please also note that the views expressed in these letters are not necessarily the views of Letters Desk, Cardiff University Students’ Union or gair rhydd.

The online newspaper for Cardiff students

IN RESPONSE TO a letter printed on this page last week, I would like to disagree with their negative views on the new Friday night in Solus, Access all Areas.

With the (rightful) complaints at the end of last term at the way Fun Factory was headed with its random techno and jungle interludes in what was supposed to be a Rock night, it was brilliant to finally have a night that was as good as Fun Factory used to be, chilled out Punk-Pop and Rock.

I thoroughly enjoyed the new union night on Friday, and if all Drew Peacock ( who wrote last week’s letter) wants to do on Friday is to get drunk after a week of Neighbours and intense lectures, then it shouldn't matter what music they're playing - you won't notice it anyway.

For the rest of us who want a good night out at the end of the week it was perfect and everyone else there seemed to think so too. If you want a night of drunken partying go to town where I'm sure your tastes will be satisfied.

Thanks to the Union for finally providing a proper night out.

November 5. Fireworks for special occasions and religious festivals are great: they have a point and occur in a large number. Random setting-off of one firework in your back garden or in the street isn’t in the spirit of what fireworks are about.

One firework is, let’s face it, dull: they are appealing en masse with organisation and thought behind their synchronisation.

Please limit your pyromaniac tendencies and don’t set off random fireworks, because you’re spoiling the novelty for everyone.

text: 07791165837

Amazing Access

Dirty ghouls

www.gairrhydd.com

The gair rhydd letters page is about expressing your opinion and letting other students know what you think. So please write in, we need some more letters!

letter of the week

gairrhydd

17

INTERVIEWS

NOVEMBER.06.2006 INTERVIEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Interview, it is nice This week gair rhydd met Kazakhstan’s fourth most famous journalist, Mr Borat Sagdiyev.

Si Truss had the privilege of getting a little advice from a fellow hack and learnt a thing or two about Kazak foreign policy along the way.

BORAT: “I like very much a woman with teat that make danglings

“

I will not take questions from a woman.” A firm statement from the moustachioed Kazak sex symbol, it seems Borat is unlikely to be folding his controversial views to suit British etiquette. Meanwhile said woman, a perplexed-looking Scottish journalist, struggles to get her question acknowledged as Borat merely stares ahead ignoring every word.

It is quickly established that any present female wishing to address the man is going to have to do so through by having a male translator. Evidently this is not going to be an ordinary press conference.

In fact, when the Scottish gentleman in charge of proceedings attempts to keep Mr Sagdiyev in line he comes under the hammer of Borat’s unforgiving humour (“Ah Scottish! Like a drink, like a drink.

You remind me of Braveheart, played by anti-Jewish warrior Melvin Gibson.”)

Political incorrectness aside, there is a purpose to Borat talking to us today. Out this week is his debut movie, the elaborately titled Borat: Cultural learnings of America to make benefit the glorious nation of Kazakhstan. This afternoon, stood on a makeshift podium in front of a shoddily assembled Kazak banner, Borat is here to tell us about his travels in America.

So what did the great man learn in the US? “I was very surprised to learn something new, which is that you are no longer allowed to shoot at Red Indians,” he tells us; “and may I take this opportunity to apologise to all the staff at the Nebraska casino, how was I to know? There were no signs.”

“I am also big fan of American popular music,” Borat tells us of his views on US pop-culture. “I particularly like your singer Madonna. It is a credit that a transvestite can be so successful: in my country he would be in the circus.”

It seems, though, that there is a lot America has to learn from Kazakhstan, such as a little advice on foreign policy.

“We in Kazakhstan are very busy worrying about our own threat from neighbours Uzbekistan. We are concerned about their weapons of mass destruction and in fact we have reason to believe that within 10 years they will have the technology to develop their own catapults.”

Apparently the Kazak journalist thinks he could also teach the Americans a thing or two about what makes a good wife.

“A good wife must be strong enough to pull a plough and have a very erotic physique.” Borat informs us. “I like very much a woman with teat that make danglings. Current Miss Kazakhstan have a pair that hang one point three meters, one point four including milk valve. In Kazakhstan we like to attach rocks to them so that when you bend over it looks like you have four legs.”

“I would very much like to meet Welsh prostitute Charlotte Church” Of course, on a more serious note, Borat is, in reality, the invention of Ali G. creator Sacha Baron Cohen and, at present, quite a controversial figure on an international scale.

The character, which Baron Cohen has been developing in one form or another since 1995, originally caused controversy when his antics on Da Ali G show caused some critics to label him as anti-Semitic. However, Baron Cohen, who is himself a Jew of Persian decent, claims that the racist and anti-Semitic nature of the character’s beliefs is actually a way of exposing and ridiculing racism through comedy.

More recently the character of

Borat has come under fire from the Kazak government. After presenting the MTV European Music Awards in 2005 a spokesperson for Kazakhstan branded Mr Cohen’s behaviour as “utterly unacceptable” and threatened legal action.

So what’s the verdict on Borat? Is it really just comedy at the expense of racist laughs? Well, after seeing the film and meeting the man himself, we say the answer is probably ‘no’.

True there are a lot of anti-Semitic jokes and quips that, if delivered seriously, could be very offensive to women, gypsies, Kazaks and a whole host of other groups of society. The point though is that there is absolutely nothing serious about Borat.

While critics claim that it is hugely unfair to target Kazakhstan as the source of the joke rather than any other country, the truth is exactly the opposite of this. The comedy in Borat is at the expense of ignorance and the jokes about Kazakhstan are entirely at the expense of the West.

The reason the idea of a ridiculous Kazak journalist works is because there is a large section of society in Western Europe and America who are ignorant enough to believe that Kazakhstan really is a country of incest, racism and widespread prostitution.

To criticise Borat’s portrayal of the nation of Kazakhstan is essentially like criticising Airplane for the way it represents the aviation industry.

When, in scenes in the film, we see the unsuspecting American victims of Cohen’s creation acting so ridiculously, it’s hard to imagine that the joke is on anyone except the ignorance of some westerners. Take for example the US car salesman who answers with all sincerity the question “how fast will I need to drive this to kill a gypsy,” or the rodeo owner who believes all Muslims are terrorists. All in all it’s definitely Kazakhstan who has the last laugh.

It’s probably true to say that the reason Cohen is doing all the publici-

ty for the film in character is to avoid having to answer questions about the controversy head on, but do we mind?

Of course not. The film itself, which is directed by Seinfeld director Larry Charles, is, in all honesty, a hugely well made film and a genuinely funny piece of work; it would be a shame for questions of controversy to overshadow that. Plus, from our point of view, it would be hard to find a more enjoyable piece of journalism and a better means of film promotion than inviting us to meet Borat.

So what does Borat himself have to say about the controversy?

“Any reports that Kazakhstan unhappy with me is actually propaganda by evil nincompoops Uzbekistan, who as everyone knows are very nosey people as they have a bone in the middle of their head.”

And on the behaviour of Sacha Baron Cohen?

“I have no connection to this Mr Cohen and I fully support my country’s decision to sue this Jew.” So one final thing: does the fourth most famous reporter from Kazakhstan have any interest in the great nation of Wales?

“Yes, I would very much like to meet Welsh prostitute Charlotte Church. I hear she has voice of an angel… ..and a virgin like a horse.”

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gairrhydd

19

HEALTH

NOVEMBER.06.2006 HEALTH@gairrhydd.COM

Let’s talk sex-ually transmitted diseases gair rhydd gives you the lowdown on what to look for, what to do and where to go Liz Stauber Health Editor

Alex Beard introduces SHAG, the sexual health awareness group for Cardiff students

I

Female symptoms a change in vaginal discharge. This may increase, change to a yellow or greenish colour and develop a strong smell ■ a pain or burning sensation when passing urine ■ irritation and/or discharge from the anus.

Men may experience symptoms such as: ■ a yellow or white discharge from the penis ■ irritation and/or discharge from the anus ■ inflammation of the testicles and prostate gland.

Once gonorrhoea has been successfully treated, it will not come back unless you become reinfected.

Chlamydia is the most common treatable bacterial sexually transmitted infection. It can cause serious problems later in life if it is not treated.

Chlamydia infects the cervix in women. The urethra, rectum and eyes can be infected in both sexes.

Occasionally chlamydia lives in other parts of the body, including the throat, lungs and liver.

Symptoms of infection may show up at anytime. Often this is between 1 and 3 weeks after exposure. However, symptoms may not emerge until a long way down the line. The majority of women who are infected with chlamydia will have no symptoms at all.

■

Possible symptoms a slight increase in vaginal discharge caused by the cervix becoming inflamed ■ a need to pass urine more often/pain on passing urine ■ lower abdominal pain ■ pain during sex ■ irregular menstrual bleeding ■ a painful swelling and irritation in the eyes (if they are infected).

Men are more likely to notice symptoms than women. However, they too may have no symptoms. Likely symptoms are: ■ a discharge from the penis which may be white/cloudy and watery and stain underwear ■ pain and/or a burning sensation ■

Don’t play games with sex when passing urine a painful swelling and irritation in the eyes (if they are infected) Chlamydia in the rectum rarely causes symptoms.

Chlamydia shows up on the tests a few days after you have been in contact with it, often before symptoms.

When you are tested for an STD, you may experience some discomfort, but minimal pain.

An examination of your genital area is carried out by a doctor or a nurse.

Samples are then taken, using a cotton-wool or spongy swab, from any places which may be infected - the cervix, urethra, anus or throat.

Women are given an internal pelvic examination.

A sample of urine may be taken.

You can have a test as soon as you think you might have been in contact with an infection.

If you are told you have gonorrhoea, you may be asked to see a health adviser who will explain the infection to you and answer your questions. The health adviser will also ask you about your sexual partner(s), so that they can get a check-up and treatment if necessary.

The doctor or health adviser will tell you about which sexual activities are safe.

Once you have completed your course of treatment for medication, you should return to the clinic or GP for a check-up.

Some types of gonorrhoea are resistant to certain antibiotics, especially if you acquired the disease abroad.

Further tests will be done to make sure that the infection has cleared. If it has not, you will be prescribed a different antibiotic.

It is important to return for a checkup once you have completed the treat-

■

ment to make sure you are well and have no other infection. You should not have penetrative sex (when the penis enters the vagina, mouth or anus) until you have returned to the clinic and been given the all-clear by the doctor.

If left untreated, either disease can lead to unfortunate complications.

Gonorrhoea can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) in women. This is inflammation of the fallopian tubes which can cause fever, lower abdominal pain and backache.

Sex may be uncomfortable. PID can cause a woman to become infertile or have an eptopic pregnancy.

Men can experience problems such as an inflammation of the testicles and the prostate gland, which causes pain.

Without treatment a narrowing of the urethra or abscesses can develop.

Also with chlamydia, both women and men can contract Reiters syndrome which causes inflammation of the eyes and joints and sometimes a rash on the soles of the feet and genitals.

Appendicitis (inflammation of the appendix) can also be caused by chlamydia.

Where to go for help: ■ Your

local NHS sexual health (GUM) clinic. You can find details of your nearest NHS sexual health clinic in the phone book under genito-urinary medicine (GUM), sexually transmitted diseases (STD) or venereal diseases (VD). Or phone your local hospital and ask for the ‘special’ or GUM clinic.

■ Your own GP. To have the best chance of not contracting either of theses diseases, or any of the numerous others, always use a condom.

N CASE FOR whatever, inexcusable reason you haven’t heard of us, SHAG is a fantastic bunch of friendly people who are actively involved in promoting sexual health among all of you guys!

Hopefully you all attended our ‘Boobs & Balls’ charity event in the union on Friday night in aid of Tenovus, the local cancer charity.

However, if you missed it there are plenty of other fun events coming up – we’ll keep you posted!

Other than our charity events, where we’ll bombard you drunkards with free condoms, free contraception is provided all year round.

The SHAG office is just inside the SVC office, which is situated on the third floor of The Students Union.

Regular condoms are available just outside in the corridor, however other forms of contraception are distributed from within the SHAG office.

When the office is open there will always be someone inside ready to help you with any questions, or advice and support on problems and queries you may have.

We are stocked with leaflets on all kinds of STI’s and details of any GUM clinics in the area.

Otherwise you could call us on 02920781485.

Or email us at: ShaG@cardiff.ac.uk. However small your questions may seem we are here to help. Hope to see you all soon!

The SHAG drop in centre is open: Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

11:00 9:00 13:00 10:00 11:00

-

12:00 and 14:00 - 16:00 17:00 17:00 15:00 and 16:00 - 17:00 13:00

ww.gairrhydd.com

T

he two most common sexually transmitted diseases are gonorrhoea and chlamydia.

Gonorrhoea is a bacterial infection.

It is sexually transmitted and can infect the cervix, urethra, rectum, anus and throat.

Symptoms of an infection can appear anytime between 1 and 14 days after exposure. It is possible to be infected with gonorrhoea and have no symptoms. Men are far more likely to notice symptoms than women.

20 gairrhydd

MEDIA

NOVEMBER.06.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Painfree viewing?

Are producers running out of ideas? With the latest concept of showing ‘live births’ on Channel 5, we must ask what are we to expect next and is this really how we see ‘entertaiment’?

Anna Milewski Media Correspondent

C

hannel five’s decision to venture into previously unchartered territory by broadcasting a series of live births earlier this month raised serious questions about the current trends in British television.

The programme aired on the Sunday evening of October 8th was broadcasted entirely live from The Queen’s medical centre, Nottingham, and showed a number of expectant mothers awaiting the arrival of their respective babies.

The show also relayed rare stories, such as a baby being born with a hole in its diaphragm and four babies born sharing the same placenta. The two hour special also featured a guide to child birth and first hand testimonies from celebrities such as Meera Syall and Nancy Sorrell.

This TV show is not the first of its genre, others such as Cosmetic Surgery live and Supersize Surgery have been seen to test the squeamishness of the nation by showing graphic images of facial reconstructive surgery, bodily enhancements and the gory procedure of liposuction.

Never before, however, have such procedures been streamed entirely live.

Alex Sutherland, Five controller of history and head of live factual events,

who commisioned Birth Night Live promoted the show as a ‘celebration of everything to do with childbirth - the inevitable anxieties, the incredible dramas, the miracle of modern medical techniques, but above all the amazing joy a new birth brings’.

The show fulfilled parts of this criteria, but a spokesperson for The Royal College Of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists expressed concern stating that although the ‘educational purpose’ of the show was acknowledged, questions were raised over the ‘intrusive’ nature of it, as well as worries that it ‘may not be beneficial for the patients management’.

Is it poor entertainment or the celebration of “everthing to do with childbirth” The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) highlighted the immense risk undertaken by such a venture, stating ‘In any birth there is always a small risk of complications. In the unfortunate event of any problems occurring, the broadcast could prove to be a traumatic experience for both the parents and viewers.’ Fortunately, there were no complications in the births aired, and the safety and well-being of the

patients remained paramount.

It could, however, be argued that the show did not prevail entirely as planned. The possibility of the expectant mothers not performing on time appeared to be somewhat neglected.

The one natural birth occurred a matter of minutes before the show went on air, leaving the audience merely with footage of the new mother breast feeding. Additionally, the caesarean, albeit revolutionary, after a lengthy build up appeared to be over in a comparatively short space of time.

There is little doubt that the phenomenal stories regarding the plights of the babies born with complications proved fantastic viewing and indeed served an educational purpose. Yet, some might argue they provided unnecessary worry and did not provide accurate realism. The NCT expressed concerns about this, stating, ‘The last thing we want is a birth shot in such a way that it frightens women. We get so many women coming to our classes who have seen a video at 14 and it frightened them.’

Questions have also been raised about how accurately presented the midwifery service was, indeed we didn’t see evidence of the typicalities of a delivery suite. At a time when a number of mid-wife run birth-centres are on the edge of closure, it was interesting that there were no overworked midwives rushing from one suite to the next, caring for up to five expectant

mothers at one time.

The common reality of the women screaming for an epidural was also neglected and replaced with a utopian notion of the process of birth which, for the average mum is not realistic.

The arrival of this new ‘spectator sport’ genre of television prompts the surfacing of many questions. Should this sort of voyeuristic content be considered beneficial, educational and informative? Or could it be seen as the ultimate embodiment of the lengths travelled by programme makers, in this case Endemol, to secure high ratings?

The dramatic increase in programmes focusing on the human body undergoing medical procedures brings into question the nature of not only the production values, but also that of the audiences. The fact that it was broadcast at 8 o’clock on a Sunday evening also brings into question the quality of prime time TV. British television appears to be following in the footsteps of American television, which broadcast five births this year. The question has to be asked, where will this sensationalism stop?

Will we find ourselves flicking over from Eastenders to tune into channel fives ‘Live Death Show?’ How real do we want our reality TV to be?

Would you find such a programme entertaining? Send your views to the media editors at: media@gairrhydd.com.

Next week in Media: coverage of the Xpress radio FM launch, featuring reports and programme timetable.

Xpress launch party: Friday, November 10 in Solus, the Students’ Union.

The station goes live on air in Access All Areas at 1am.

gairrhydd

JOBS & MONEY

NOVEMBER.06.2006 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

T

21

Your job or your degree

Gillian Roberts look at how students can damage their degrees while keeping themselves financially afloat the amount they need to spend on rent and living costs,” stated Paul Jeffrey, the Head of Student Banking at The Royal Bank of Scotland.

Is time away earning money worth risking less time being spent on studies?

An underestimation will perhaps force students to raise cash to help with living costs during their studies.

The Association of Investment Trust Companies Annabel Brodie-Smith said: “It’s alarming that so few of tomorrow’s graduate or their families

jobshop

his year has shown an increase in students opting for part-time jobs during the academic year to make ends meet.

But is it at the cost of possibly getting lower marks in their degrees?

According to research undertaken

by The Royal Bank of Scotland Student Living Index, nearly half of Cardiff students work during term time to keep costs at bay.

The survey of 2,648 undergraduates across Britain reported that 45% asked said they would have to get a job during their studies, an increase of 40% on last year’s results.

Reports are that parents and future university students are underestimating the amount of debt they may acquire during university.

“According to our researcher over half, 52%, of students underestimate

We urgently require experienced bar and waiting staff over the forthcoming Rugby Internationals on November 11, 17 and 25.

Please contact us on 029 20781535 or pop in to the Jobshop (ground floor, Students’ Union).

Opening hours 10am4pm Monday-Friday

really comprehend the financial implications of going to university.”

This leads to more students becoming overshadowed by debt, thus taking up part-time jobs to stay afloat.

Research shows an average of 16 hours a week is usual for the working student, while 20% asked are doing more than 20 hours a week.

Part-time jobs can take away valuable study time and students are faced with the continual dilemma of whether the time away earning money is worth risking less time being spent on their studies. But with paying fees, rent and living costs many students would not be able to afford to live the student lifestyle without the regular income a part-time job provides.

Cardiff student, Ross Blumire, who had a part-time job last year said: “I worked for a couple of months and

found that after attending lectures, doing work and my job I had no time to see friends and socialise which is a big part of university, and even time for study was reduced during busy weeks at work.”

Yet Natalie Jones, second year Law student, said: “Having a job breaks up university work and you are able to socialise with a lot more people. It is so much easier having that extra bit of cash at the weekend and I don’t owe the bank as much.”

Also, students who undertake parttime jobs are not only fortunate enough to gain some much needed cash but also their employability is increased.

Future employers can be impressed by a student who has been able to hold down a job during their studies. Even if not career-related experience, it shows employers that students are able

The final countdown

Jobs & Money on the steps you should be taking at each stage of your university career to ensure a decent job at the end of it First year: You’ve been drunk for about a month now and you begin to face the overdraft of work and your freshness disappearing. Don’t let too much of your time pass you by and drop into the Careers Service, have a chat or pick up some information.

Log onto www.cardiff.ac.uk/carsv and take a break from Facebook and MySpace. It has all the information you will need to know from upcoming events to work experience. It is also the place where you can book an appointment for any career related problems.

Second year & penultimate year:

Graduates:

You’ve got the T-shirt, and you know where Chippy Alley is, but this is not the time to forget that your last year is approaching faster than you can say “the TARDIS is outside my house.”

You have your degree and it’s time to take that awkward step into the world of work.

Go and see a careers consultant on the careers website and register with the Go Wales Graduate Job Seeker’s Support Group, www.cardiff,ac.uk/2664.

If you haven’t done so already, book an appointment with a careers advisor and sort out what you need to do to obtain your dream job.

Be a career driven person and go to career talks, workshops, employer presentations and careers fayres. Check out http://www.cardiff.ac.uk/2111 for more information.

Find out about work experience and look at the tips on www.cardiff.ac.uk/2125.

Check out Go Wales Graduate Work Placements on theirwebsite: www.gowales.co.uk.

to cope with the stress a job can bring while completing their degree.

Part-time jobs can also improve skills which may benefit students in the future, such as, communication and teamwork skills. It is also advisable to keep contact with employers just in case, as a graduate, it is difficult to find a degree-related job.

Many graduates take jobs which may not be relevant to their degree but provide an income until another job opening.

As nearly half of the students in Cardiff are taking up part-time work they are expected to earn around £56 million between them.

Research has shown that nationally, students will spend approximately £3.7 billion on rent, £995 million on supermarket food shopping and £688 million on going out.

Final year: The end is nigh and the frightful thought of giving up your afternoon naps, Neighbours at lunchtime and dressing-up for any excuse is not going away.

The worst thought however, is of not having a clue of what the next step is going to be.

Go and see a careers advisor (again if necessary) and discuss your options. Attend recruitment fayres and workshops to get any ideas. Expand on your CV, get involved with societies and clubs. Investigate work experience for example with Go Wales at www.gowales.co.uk.

Don’t panic, there is still enough time to sort out everything before applying for jobs or pursuing that career you have always wanted.

Postgraduates: Follow the steps as a final year student if you have not done so already. Go to specialist workshops and drop-in sessions at the graduate centre. Log onto www.cardiff.ac.uk/2762.

For more information on anything regarding careers, visit the Careers Service at 5 Corbett Road Cardiff CF10 3EB, email careers@cardiff.ac.uk or phone 029 20874828

gairrhydd

TAF-OD

NOVEMBER.06.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Pwy sy'n Ddroog?

H

eb amheuaeth dim ond un ateb sydd i'r cwestiwn hwn, y "Genod, Genod Droog." Dros y flwyddyn diwethaf meant wedi bod yn diddanu cynulleidfaoedd ar hyd a lled y wlad gyda'i perfformiadau bywiog a chyffrous. Ar ddiwedd mis Hydref fe aethant gam ymhellach a chroesi clawdd offa i berfformio yng ngwyl y Proms Trydanol yn Llundain.

Mae eu cerddoriaeth unigryw, gyda arddull o roc, hip hop a pop electroneg wedi denu llawer o sylw yn ystod y flwyddyn diwethaf. Law yn llaw gyda'i perfformiadau nid oes syndod mai'r Genod Droog yw un o fandiau mwyaf unigryw Cymru ar hyn o bryd. Daw'r aelodau o fandiau profiadol eraill

23

megis Dyl Mei ac Ed Holden o Pep le Pew, Gethin Evans o Kentucky AFC ac Aneirin Karadog o'r Diwygiad. Yn aml cyfeirir atynt fel un o 'super groups' Cymru. Ar eu gwefan meant yn pwysleisio pwysigrwydd cerddoriaeth fyw: "Bwriad y Genod Droog ydy cael hwyl wrth greu cerddoriaeth byw, o safon uchel. Bydd pob sioe byw yn brofiad unigryw, gyda phwyslais ar gynnwys y gynulleidfa yn ei set."

Gwyl newydd yw'r Proms Trydanol sy'n dilyn llwyddiant y proms clasurol. Eu bwriad oedd creu rhyddid i fandiau hen a newydd greu perfformiadau unigryw. Gwyl arbrofol oedd hwn am fod felly a dyma yn

Y Dafarn Di-F*g

union oedd agwedd y Genod Droog. Ennillodd y grwp yr hawl i gymryd rhan yn y Proms ar ol ennill cystadleuaeth C2 o flaen bandiau megis Mattoidz a Frizbee. Cefnogwyd syniad y Genod Droog gan, yn ol gwefan y BBC, eu bod am "dorri bob ffin ac arbrofi gyda'r posibiliadau."

Cafwyd cyfle i weithio gyda'r trefnydd cerddorol Gill Edwards fel rhan o'r paratoadau ar gyfer yr *yl.

Llwyddwyd felly i ychwanegu pedwarawd llinynnol i ambell gân ac ehangu sain y grwp. Gobeithiai

visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

The Red Dragon Centre, Cardiff Bay, Hemingway Road CF10 4JY Tel: 02920 256261

Aneirin Karadog, a gafodd ei gyfweld gan y BBC ar gyfer rhaglen ddogfen arbennig y byddai'r gerddoriaeth "yn fwy ffresh, emosiynol ac organig."

Daeth yr uchafbwynt yng nghlwb y Barfly yn Camden. Perfformiodd y Genod Droog set hanner awr gan ddod y band cyntaf i berfformio yn y Gymraeg yn y Proms Trydanol. Dyma gam pwysig felly i hyrwyddo cerddoriaeth fyw y Sîn Roc Gymraeg ac yn arbennig i'r Genod Droog hyrwyddo eu hunain tu allan i Gymru. Dywedodd Aneirin Karadog ar wefan y BBC: "Mae o'n hollbwysig i ni fod y Gymraeg yn cael lle yn y Proms ac rydyn ni mor falch bod ni'n cael bod yna i gynrychioli Cymru."

Os fethoch chi berfformiad y Genod Droog yn Aberystwyth dros y penwythnos bydd cyfle arall i'w gweld yng Nghlwb Ifor Bach ar Rhagfyr 1af.

Felly, "Pwy sy'n Ddroog?"*"Y Genod, Genod Droog!"

Y

m mis Ebrill 2007 bydd gwaharddiad ysmygu mewn mannau cyhoeddus yn dechrau yng Nghymru. Er bod y cyhoeddiad hwn wedi'i ei wneud mae nifer o dafarndai a chlybiau'r wlad am weld y gwaharddiad yn cael ei ohirio am chwe mis.

Yn ôl gwefan Llywodraeth Cynulliad Cymru mae ysmygu yn achosi 6,000 o farwolaethau bob blwyddyn a 400 o farwolaethau ymysg pobl sydd ddim yn ysmygu. Gan fod y maes yma o iechyd yn agored i bwer y cynulliad penderfynwyd dilyn esiampl gwledydd megis Iwerddon a gwahardd ysmygu o fannau cyhoeddus caeëdig.

Cyflwynwyd hyn cyn gynted a phosib fel rhan o bolisi iechyd y Cynulliad dan arweiniad Dr Brian Gibbons.

Er bod buddiannau'r gwaharddiad yn amlwg ac yn sicr o wella iechyd a chyflwr gwaith nifer helaeth o bobl mae rhai pobl am ei weld yn cael ei ohirio am gyfnod eto. Yn ol gwefan y BBC mae'r gymdeithas sy'n cynrychioli tafarndai a chlybiau yn pryderu nad oes digon o amser o fusnesau sicrhau lle i'w gweithwyr a'u cwsmeiriaid ysmygu tu allan. Mae ychydig o gamddealltwriaeth hefyd yngl*n â sut fath o le sydd ei angen i beidio bod yn le caeëdig.

Mae disgwyl i fwy o wybodaeth gyrraedd cwmniau a busnesau erbyn diwedd mis Tachwedd. Mae gwefan y cynulliad hefyd yn cynnig cyngor i fusnesau ar sut i ddatblygu ar gyfer y rheolau newydd.

Rydym wedi gweld yng Nghaerdydd fod newid wedi dechrau yn barod. Mae amryw o dafarndai'r dref yn ddi-f*g yn barod ac mae'r nifer hyn yn sicr o godi wrth i'r ddeddf newydd ddod i bwer a cynnydd yn --y bobl sy'n cefnogi tafarndai di-f*g.

Mae amryw o bobl yn anhapus felly ynghlyn a'r ffordd mae'r cynulliad wedi delio â'r sefyllfa gan nad ydynt wedi cael digon o amser i wneud trefniadau. Er hyn mae gwahardd ysmygu i'w weld yn anorfod er ni allwn fod yn siwr pa mor boblogaidd a llwyddiannus y bydd ymysg tafarndai'r dref wrth iddynt geisio dod i drefn â'r rheolau newydd.

gairrhydd

25

TELEVISION

NOVEMBER.06.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

This Week’s TV Chosen Among the TV Choices: November 6th-12th

What’s On TV Desk The Radio Times, they are a Changing

HOT

Lucozade - I feel like I should be on commission at the SU shop after advertising their Sandwich offer, and now this. Two bottles of Lucozade for 99p.

That’s a saving of 61p.

Brilliant. Original, Orange and Lemon flavour, and you’re allowed to mix and match.

Soaps OMG!! Neighbours is getting all awesome on us again. Not only is there a blind girl in it now, and Karl and Susan are back together and stuff, and Paul is a born again Lothario, but the whole Dylan, Sky, Stingray, Elle thing is just marvellous isn’t it? This week it takes another magnificent turn, when in an attempt to keep Dylan from reuniting with Sky, Elle has no choice but to convince him and everyone else on The Street that she has some sort of life threatening disease. Even Karl falls for it.

But that’s really no surprise what with him being so muff-drunk and all. AND WHATSMORE, Katya has “fallen” for Max. And in my TV guide there is a picture of them NUZZLING!! So basically it’s all going to kick off. But Steph is awful, so there’s no need to worry about hurt feelings.

T

his is another milestone week in the history of TV Desk.

A Fortnight ago, the news that this staple(d) section of gair rhydd had turned its back on the bastion of high-brow entertainment reporting The Radio Times, in favour of what many see as an inferior ‘lowbrow’ TV guide TV Choice, sent shockwaves through student media. “OMGZZZZ!!” said The Oxford Student. “WTF?!? LOL!!” said Hullfire, and many wondered if this could see a change in the style of reporting that we bring you. I’m sure you’ll agree that it has not and that things are just as shit as ever. However, there are high hopes that things could be on the up, as this week, another historic change has been made.

Ladies and Gentlemen, What’s On TV. I’m sure that raises a lot of questions, so I want to set the record straight right here and now.

Firstly, I could hear a couple of dissenting voices murmuring “Why would you use a TV guide that is openly professing to not really know what’s on Telly by asking us, the reader, “What’s on TV?.” Well, I too initially shared that worry, but then I realised that the title of the magazine in question has no question mark in its title. So rather than asking us a question, it really is saying “[Listen up guys, ‘cause I’m gonna tell you] What’s On TV”. That’s the

Fudge Tunnel 76a

sort of authority that we look for in a TV guide. A mag which sets its stall out from the start and assures you who’s the boss. In comparison “TV Choice” is a pussy of a mag. It offers a ‘Choice’. Choice? When has that ever been a good thing? Exactly.

There’s a similar reasoning behind my rejection of The Radio Times. Not only is its price and my

objection to Robbie Coltrane a problem, but also the title. How backwards a title is ‘Radio Times’.

We want ‘TV Times’ (Incidentally, that’s another publication all together, but the SU shop doesn’t sell it). gair rhydd is a forward thinking publication, and nobody

here thinks more forward than us at TV Desk. Right now one of our staff is thinking about next Sunday’s TV listings. That’s about ten days away. Most sections are writing about things that happened last week. That’s not for us. We are looking into the future and trying to remain at the forefront of cutting edge journalism. You only need to look at our liberal use of swear words to see that.

However, I understand that my own personal opinions on the assertiveness of TV guide names isn’t reason enough to go against convention. This decision was also motivated by a sign from some God. On consulting my man-purse to see how much dosh I had in change, I was revealed to be in posession of 47p. How much is the magazine? Yeh, you guessed it, 42p. A sign if ever I saw one. and you can bet that if the Executive got a similar sign the House Of Lords would be gone in a split second. Convention Schmonschmention.

So, we’ll see how the relationship between TV Desk and What’s On TV continues from here. I already know for certain that I like this change, because thanks to it I have written this big, white box of bollocks without turning the front page of the mag in question.. I think this could be the start of something beautiful and I hope very much we go forth with your support. Yours in mind, body and (of course) soul, TV Gareth x

DVDS TO RENT/BUY Family Guy: Season 5 will be out now at all good retailers.

Consider yourself a Family Guy fan? Then get this spectacular set of episodes. Not just for the genius plotlines and those "well, they just p*ssed off yet another group of people" moments but for some of the most hilarious scenes in TV history such as Osoma "ramadan or radaman?"

Bin Laden fooling about in front of the camera before getting fishslapped by Stewie, a wheel-chair bound and paralysed couple going “at it”, Peter starting his own church to worship the holy Fonz and who can forget Stewie smashing a glass over Brian's head, half-drowning him, breaking his leg with a golf club, shooting him in both knees and lighting him on fire all over a $50 bet? Too good

to miss. If you haven’t seen Family Guy then obviously you should conform and stop trying to be indivdual. How can you continue to live your life ignoring diatribes as follows: Stewie Griffin: Damn you, vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb.

NOT

Alcohol - When I joined TV Desk I was teetotal. for 18 months, much to TV Grace’s constant anger, and now I haven’t drank alcohol in a week, and am considering getting back on the wagon. Sometimes when I’m drunk I stop being miserable, and after all I have a reputation to maintain.

Film Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tennenbaums is on Tuesday at 11.30pm on BBC1. Produced and directed by the hugely talented Wes Anderson and co-written with actor and regular collaborator Owen Wilson, this is the muchanticipated follow-up to Rushmore, one of the quirkier American films of the late 1990s. Yessssssssss.

Sport BIG match this week, as the Carling Cup continues to continue onwards valiantly, powered by a wave of apathy. Which naturally isn’t very fast or with much conviction. If it was surfing it it’d probably have wiped out by now or sumfink. Sky Sports 1 heads to Roots Hall for Southend United v The Manchester Reds (Tuesday, 7.30pm).

Radio I care even less than you, so here is some stuff about Radio 2 off of Wikipedia: “Radio Two is not as widely available across Canada as Radio One. While Radio One is available in most communities across Canada regardless of size, Radio Two for the most part is available only in larger cities.

Radio Two also has a more consistent national schedule than Radio One, with only one and a half hours each week devoted to distinct regional programming.

Regional programming primarily consists of a weekly arts magazine which airs on Sunday afternoons at noon, and a daily calendar of local arts and culture event listings.” I’ve not even read it.

Joke’s on me.

26 gairrhydd

MONDAY

NOVEMBER.06.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Lock Them Up

Wales This Week

BBC2 9pm

itv1 8pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Hard Sell 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours So Sky’s baby is a mutant due to his extra flappy neck. He will be a rubbish X-Man. 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote Murder Ellen Wrote: Ellen picked up a dead lemming and swung it about her head with such force that upon striking Rupert she immediately decapitated him. 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:15pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2006 7:30pm X-Ray 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Trauma 9:00pm Spooks 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Graham Norton's Bigger Picture 11:15pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 11:45pm Alfie 1:40am Sign Zone:Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 2:10am Sign Zone:The State Within 3:10am Sign Zone:Holby City 4:10am Sign Zone:York Minster Kinder Eggs are under rated.

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Trollz 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 8:55am Tweenies 9:15am Something Special 9:30am Big Cook Little Cook 9:50am Lunar Jim 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Numbertime 10:45am Let's Write a Story 11:00am Look and Read 11:20am Testament: The Bible in Animation next week: The cruxificition in 3D. 11:50am Focus 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Aiming for Excellence 1:30pm The Comancheros 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm Mastermind 8:30pm University Challenge 9:00pm Lock Them Up or Let Them Out This week: The Horrors, except the title of the program is now Lock Them Up and Set Them on Fire, and Mount Their Heads on Pikes. Band Bashing = Lazy writing = Me! (Imagine me now doing a fonzy style thumbs up) 10:00pm Have I Got News for You 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:00am This Life 12:50am The Witness 12:55am The Witness 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:The French Experience 2, 1-10 3:30am French Journey 5:30am Eurografters

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity! Jungle Fever 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Curious George 3:55pm Tricky Quickies For fuck’s sake ITV, bunch of smut peddlers. 4:00pm King Arthur's Disasters 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week it was a wee bit nippy.

8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Vincent 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Karaoke Queen I fecking hate karaoke, whenever the Santa season arrives my whole extended family get together and “really out of tune ear bleeding” festival 06 commences. Then someone puts on a silly wig, and it’s hilarious and I die a little inside.

11:30pm Wales World of Rugby 12:00am School of Hard Knocks: Tonight 12:25am ITV Play: The Mint 4:35am I Want That House 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News “Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.”

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am The Play's the Thing 10:30am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am Ballet Changed My Life: Ballet Hoo! 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm Seaside Secrets 1:40pm The Bravados 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Sons and Soldiers 8:00pm Dispatches 9:00pm Too Big To Walk 10:00pm Without a Trace 11:00pm Jihad TV 12:00am Infernal Affairs 2:00am The Real Sopranos 3:00am Jihad TV 4:00am All About Us: Living and Growing (Sex Ed 9-11) I love Sex Ed. When you’re 12 you are shown a family playing naked tennis as if it’s normal, making you question why your family insist you wear clothes and then when you’re 18 they show you how to put a condom on a banana, and you wonder if you are meant to be shagging fruit. But by that time anyway half your friends are pregnant, and you have gonorrhoea of the eye 4:15am All About Us: Living and Growing (Sex Ed 9-11) 4:30am All About Us: Living and Growing (Sex Ed 9-11) 4:45am All About Us: Living and Growing (Sex Ed 9-11)

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Bird Bath Time for an actual informative TV listing for those who want to watch this - apparently someone called Bob finds a conker and it’s actually a hedgehog. Right. 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm The High Price of Passion 3:45pm Mystery Woman: Redemption 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm Fifth Gear 9:00pm A Natural History of Murder 10:00pm Tripping Over 11:05pm A Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex 11:50pm Swinging 12:20am NBA Action 12:45am USPGA Golf 1:35am NFL Live 5:00am French Football Thank you Channel five for putting me off sex for life with your “educational” show 21st Century Sex. I witnessed a eye infected with gonnorea, obese sex (the wibbly - wobbly tummys) and sex from the perspective of a camera in a ladies blossom pocket/love box. I used to be scared of clowns, now I’m scared of willies.

7:00pm Torchwood: De-Classified 7:15pm Robin Hood 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm Dog Borstal 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Celebrity Scissorhands Who are the retards who actually volunteer to have their hair cut by “celebrities” such as Darren Day? There are easier ways to get on TV. Ellen’s top tips for getting on TV: 1. Eat your own head 2. Be on the Gair Rhydd team and get filmed by the BBC. Yes that’s right folks, there may possiby be a BBC documentory about the crazy antics of us.

They were here last when I wasn’t actually in so they haven’t been able to film my impersonation of an epileptic robot yet. But when they are here I am considering starting some kind of dramatic fight about... grammar. “I before e except after c bitch!” 1:25pm Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 1:25am Dog Borstal 2:25am Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 3:20am Three's Outtakes

7:00pm The Sky At Night 7:30pm The Works 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The House of Chanel 9:00pm The Secret World of Haute Couture 10:00pm Storyville: The American Ruling Class 11:00pm High School Prom 12:00am Forty Minutes On Ellen’s playlist aka my chance to show off about my appaling music taste yeh!

1.Knights of Cydonia - Muse 2.Hop Chip - Careful 3.Nine Inch Nail - The Perfect Drug 4.Beck - Cellphones Dead 5. Natalie Imbruglia - Shiver. (I can’t help it, it’s a medical problem.)

1:00am The Secret World of Haute Couture How to make your own Haute Couture items: Stap old pizza boxes to yourself when you have run out of clothes. Sexy and convinient. Or make a skirt out of cheese strings, and then you can eat them when your cheese cravings get too much. 2:00am High School Prom

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am Emmerdale 10:50am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:35am Judge Judy 12:00pm Coronation Street 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Planet's Funniest Animals 8:30pm Airline 9:00pm Hell's Kitchen USA 10:40pm Coronation Street 11:10pm

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with All Saints 8:00am Wake Up with All Saints 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 2:55pm Beauty and the Geek 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Hollyoaks: In the City 10:00pm Alien: Resurrection The moment the Alien brand was bum raped 12:05am Russell Brand's Got Issues 12:30am Invasion 1:25am Hollyoaks: In the City 2:25am Russell Brand's Got Issues 2:50am Queer as Folk 3:40am Beauty and the Geek 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Wakey Wakey Campers 10:20am Designers Under Pressure 10:30am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 11:30am The KNTV Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Triongl 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Gel a Ffion 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:FfiFfi A'i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Clwb Cleber 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm Wild Thing I Love You 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Uned 5 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Stamina 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

The Gadget Show

Ballet Changed My Life

Tripping Over

five 7.15pm

Channel 4 11am

five 10pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

27

TUESDAY

NOVEMBER.06.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Animal 24/7

A Year At Kew

BBC1 9.15am

BBC2 1.30pm

Ciarán Rhys Jenkins6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Hard Sell 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm What's New Scooby Doo? TV Ryan is always distraught at my ignorance when it comes to films, or ‘film’ as he says, so here is a definitve list of the films I have seen: Scooby Doo: One, The Truman Show, My Girl, Clerks, Kingpin, Hitch, Inspector Gadget, Kevin and Perry Go Large, Closer, Ali G In Da House, Catch Me If You Can, Boys In Da Hood.

4:15pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On: Celebrity Scissorhands 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Watchdog 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Holby City 9:00pm The Amazing Mrs Pritchard 10:00pm BBC News and Regional News 10:35pm Week In, Week Out 11:05pm Imagine... The Movie Brats...Take Two 12:00am The Royal Tenenbaums 2:00am Sign Zone:Coast 3:00am Sign Zone:Lost Cities of the Ancients 4:00am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Trollz 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 8:55am Tweenies 9:15am Something Special 9:30am Big Cook Little Cook 9:50am Lunar Jim 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Primary History 10:50am Primary Geography 11:10am Horizon 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Bobinogs 1:10pm Science Clips 1:20pm Science Clips Investigates 1:30pm A Year at Kew 2:00pm am.pm 3:05pm The Sheep Beside the Sea 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q This is possibly the most diabolical thing on television and I’m pretty certain that this was a large factor in inspiring Mitchell and Webb to write their Numberwang sketch. As if the whole concept wasn’t bad enough it comes with added Fatty Holmes.

6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Dad's Army 7:30pm Jamie Owens Welsh Journeys 8:00pm Heston Blumenthal: In Search of Perfection 8:30pm Digging Deep 9:00pm Horizon 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:05am This Life 12:45am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Keystage 3 Bitesize Revision - Maths 1 4:00am Keystage 3 Bitesize Revision

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity ? Jungle Fever 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Curious George 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm King Arthur's Disasters 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Prince in Wales 8:00pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 9:00pm Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards Featuring Girls Aloud, who are probably the best band in Britain at the moment, so it’s fitting that they are playing at these awards. Never mind some little spacker kid who gets to meet David Beckham, or some woman who gave up a career as a TV actor to look after her incontinent (now probably dead) mother. That’s nothing to be proud of, but Girls Aloud are. Hear, hear.

10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Glee Time 11:30pm Carling Cup Highlights 12:00am Carling Cup Highlights 12:30am Motorsport UK 1:00am ITV Play: The Mint 3:45am Mum's On Strike 4:20am Date My Daughter 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am The Play's the Thing 10:30am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am Ballet Changed My Life: Ballet Hoo! 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm King of Queens 1:55pm Last of the Badmen 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Sons and Soldiers 8:00pm It's Me or the Dog 8:30pm Cooking It Cookery show presented by former WWF wrestlers Tatanka and The Ultimate Warrior.

9:00pm Too Big To Walk Mr Staypuff talks about his wheelchair-bound life since his drug-addled Ghostbuster days.

10:00pm Bodyshock: Curse of the Mermaid Ariel talks about the difficulties she has had in finding employment since parting company with Disney.

11:05pm The Death Squads 12:05am Infernal Affairs 2 2:15am South American Championship Football 3:10am Dispatches 4:00am Say What You Think 4:15am Say What You Think 4:30am Say What You Think 4:45am The X File 5:00am The X File 5:15am The X File 5:30am The X File 5:45am The X File

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Memories Never Die Daytime Channel five film combining sickly sentimentality with a suitably ludicrous title, because, of course, memories DO frequently die. How am I supposed to be expected to spend over two hours on this shite when they’re messing me around from the start? Exactly. 3:40pm Scandalous Me: the Jacqueline Susann Story 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Tim Marlow on... Highlights of the New Tate Modern 8:00pm Make Me a Supermodel 9:00pm CSI: Miami 10:00pm CSI:NY 11:00pm Murder Trail Note to self: remember to reference this show when somebody inevitably gets murdered on the Taf Trail.

12:00am The FBI Files 1:00am NASCAR - Chase for the Nextel Cup 1:50am NBA Basketball 4:45am V8 Supercars 5:35am Motorsport Mundial

7:00pm Torchwood: Declassified So, the other day when walking home from town we bumped into the BBC filming Dr. Who, which is closely enough linked to Torchwood for me to use it to fill these inches. And we saw David Tenant and this caused some excitement amongst the girls (YEH I KNOW SOME GIRLS!!), but then he left, and so we had to make do with talking to ‘other cast members’ and they weren’t very interesting so we just accidently mistook their buffet for a soup kitchen and because most of us look like tramps and smell of cheap spirits we got away wih stealing some bananas from them.

And so then we realised 7:15pm Robin Hood 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm The Catherine Tate Show 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Torchwood 11:20pm Celebrity Scissorhands 12:20am Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 2:20am Torchwood 3:10am The Ferocious Mr Fix It

this could be a lucrative situation we found ourselves in, what with being in posession of David Tenant’s bananas and all. TV Ellen branded a banana with what we can only assume was an exact replica of Tenant’s signature. We assumed this would be tender of great value amongst Student Idiots so headed to the Taf to see what we could get in exchange for it...ultimately it transpired that we are the biggest Student Idiots of the lot (even worse than you wankers that dress up as golfers), and nobody else could care less about our drunken folly. 7:00pm Inside Out 7:05pm Reputations 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The House of Chanel 9:00pm Beau Brummell - this Charming Man 10:20pm Storyville: 11:35pm Bad Education 1:15am Beau Brummell - this Charming Man 2:35am Nation on Film: Kearton's Wildlife 3:05am Mark Lawson Talks to Ridley Scott

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Biker Mice From Mars 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Nanny 911 9:00pm GoldenEye 11:30pm Becoming Bond 12:00am Entourage 12:30am The Office: An American Workplace 1:00am Comedy Cuts 1:30am ITV Play: Playdate

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with the Ordinary Boys 8:00am Wake Up with the Ordinary Boys 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but 2002 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 2:55pm Beauty and the Geek 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer 10:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 11:00pm Unanimous 12:05am Unanimous: The Fallout 12:40am Shameless 1:40am One Tree Hill 2:25am Ghost Whisperer 3:10am Shameless 4:10am Beauty and the Geek 4:50am Switched 5:15am Switched 5:35am Switched Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Wakey Wakey Campers 10:20am Designers Under Pressure 10:30am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 1:15pm Hitler's Holocaust 2:15pm Deal or No Deal 3:15pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm Retro 6:25pm Tipit 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Taro 9 9:00pm America Gaeth A'r Cymry 10:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 11:05pm Too Big To Walk 12:05am Brat Camp 1:05am Without a Trace 2:05am Jihad TV 3:00am FIVB Beach Volleyball 4:00am Say What You Think 4:15am Say What You Think 4:45am The X File

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

King Arthur’s Disasters ITV1 4.00pm

The Death Squads

The Save-Ums!

C4 11.05pm

five 6.00am

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28 gairrhydd

WEDNESDAY

NOVEMBER.06.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

DIY SOS

Deer in the City

BBC1 8.30pm

BBC2 8.50pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Hard Sell 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:50pm Arthur 3:55pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:15pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Open All Hours 7:30pm Real Story with Fiona Bruce 8:00pm Traffic Cops This is often filmed in Cheshire and a lot of the stories about stolen cars are filmed in my hometown which is called Winsford. It’s quite funny to see some scallies with skinheads being caught and filmed on a road which I often drive along myself.

If I started robbing cars I might get on TV. 8:30pm DIY SOS 9:00pm Panorama 10:00pm BBC News and Regional News 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:40pm Frontline Iraq 11:10pm ONE life 11:50pm Made in America 1:40am Sign Zone:Child of Our Time: The Children's Stories 2:10am Sign Zone:Digging Deep

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Trollz 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 8:55am Tweenies 9:15am Something Special 9:30am Big Cook Little Cook 9:50am Lunar Jim 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am What the Ancients Did for Us 11:30am am.pm 1:00pm Downsize Me 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Small Town Gardens 2:15pm Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q I heard this coming from TV Gareth’s room the other day whilst I was playing Football Manager. It sounded like the shittest programme ever. It was just like Numberwang from That Mitchell and Webb Look.

6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm York Minster 7:30pm Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 8:00pm Natural World 8:50pm Deer in the City 9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:20pm Look around You 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:00am This Life 12:40am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Key Stage 3 Bitesize Revision Maths 3 4:00am Go for It!

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Jungle Fever 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm Jungle Run 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm X2 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm X2 12:05am Entourage 12:30am ITV Play: The Mint 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News I’ve started playing Football Manager 2007. I could go on about how this was a mistake as I’ve got an essay due in next week, but instead I’ll just say how good it is. I’m currently on my 2nd season with Spurs. After a poor first season, I am now flying high and am occupying 3rd place in the league. I’m above Chelsea and below Man United and Arsenal. Liverpool sold Gerrard and Reina and are dying a sad death in 18th. My best buy of the season is Darren Bent. He’s been lethal I’ve been knocked out of the FA and League Cup so I’m hoping for...

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am The Play's the Thing 10:30am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am Ballet Changed My Life: Ballet Hoo! 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm King of Queens 1:55pm Cattle Empire 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Sons and Soldiers This could probably be a title for a Decemberists’ song.

8:00pm How Clean Is Your House?

8:30pm Your Money or Your Wife 9:00pm Too Big To Walk 10:00pm Goldplated 11:05pm Hunting Emmanuelle 12:10am Infernal Affairs 3 2:20am South American Championship Football 3:15am Goalissimo!...

European qualification. I sold Steed Malbranque and now Ledley King is pissed off and wants to leave. I’m not letting him go although I got offered £10 million for him. Other good buys include, James Morrison, Jan Kristiansen (he was amazing on CM03/04), Mauro Esposito, Goran Pandev, Vanden Borre, Leighton Baines, Igor Tudor and Alan Smith. Smudger’s been a bit disappointing to be honest.

4:10am Trans World Sport 5:00am

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am Rupert Bear 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Sleeping with the Devil Would the devil have a red penis? We’re assuming he’s male by the way. Would his cock be hot? Would he squirt fire instead of cum? Would he have super powers like being able to go all night or can he give you mulitple orgasms?

What happens to you if you’re human and you shag him? If the devil was a woman would she be a butch lezzer?

Would that burning be an STD or just the vaginal flames? Would she be a dominatrix? None of these questions came from my innocent brain. TV Grace thought of them all.

3:35pm Columbo: Negative Reaction 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Game Ranger Diaries 8:00pm The Inside Story of Apollo 13: Stranger than Fiction 9:00pm Perfect Day - the Funeral 11:00pm Desperate Footballers' WAGs 12:05am PartyPoker.com World Series II 1:35am NHL Ice Hockey 4:30am Major League Soccer

7:00pm Torchwood: Declassified 7:15pm Robin Hood 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm Lara Croft: Tomb Raider 10:30pm Celebrity Scissorhands 11:30pm Live! Girls!

Present Dogtown 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:00am Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 3:00am Dog Borstal Well you're my friend, it's what you told me. And can you see what's inside of me. Many times we've been out drinking, and many times we've shared our thoughts. But did you ever, ever notice the kind of thoughts I got?

Well you know I have a love, a love for everyone I know. And you know I have a drive to live I won't let go. But can you see its opposition comes a-rising up sometimes, that it's dreadful and position comes blacking in my mind. And that I see a darkness, and that I see a darkness and that I see a darkness and that I see a darkness...

7:00pm The African Rock 'n' Roll Years 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The House of Chanel 9:00pm Lonesome Dove 10:30pm Lead Balloon 11:00pm Never Mind the Full Stops 11:30pm Hungary 1956: Our Revolution 12:30am Dinner with Portillo 1:00am Janine Di Giovanni Talks to Kirsty Wark 1:30am The African Rock 'n' Roll Years 2:30am Lead Balloon 3:00am Never Mind the Full Stops 3:30am Janine Di Giovanni Talks to Kirsty Wark...And did you know how much I love you, is a hope that somehow you can save me from this darkness. Well I hope that someday, buddy we have peace in our lives. Together or apart, alone or with our wives, that we can stop our whoring and pull the smiles inside, and light it up forever and never go to sleep. My best unbeaten brother this isn't all I see. Oh no I see a darkness. Oh no I see a darkness.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Hell's Kitchen USA 9:40pm Planet's Funniest Animals 10:00pm Tomorrow Never Dies 12:20am Coronation Street 12:50am ITV Play: Playdate 4:00am ITV Play: Playalong

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with McFly 8:00am Wake Up with McFly 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but 2003 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 2:55pm Beauty and the Geek 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Desperate Housewives 10:00pm Bo in the USA 10:30pm Star Stories 11:00pm Goldplated 12:05am Sex and the City 12:45am No Angels 1:45am Bo in the USA 2:10am Star Stories 2:35am Desperate Housewives 3:15am No Angels 4:15am Beauty and the Geek 4:55am Switched 5:20am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:00am The KNTV Show 9:30am Wakey Wakey Campers 10:20am Designers Under Pressure 10:30am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 11:30am Bitesize Bioleg 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Triongl 12:45pm Peppa Pinc 12:50pm Ding Dong 1:00pm Falmai y Fuwch 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Sons and Soldiers 1:20pm Your Money or Your Wife 1:55pm How Clean Is Your House? 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Clwb Winx 4:25pm Retro 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Cwpwrdd Dillad 9:00pm 04 Wal 9:30pm Sioe Gelf

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BBC1 9.15am

The 100 Hottest Web Searches C4 10pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Hard Sell 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:15pm The Story of Tracy Beaker 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 5:00pm Young Dracula 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Super Vets 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm The Innocence Project 9:00pm The State Within Here’s the lowdown on the state that I’m in. This page was complete but it didn’t save properly. It definitely wasn’t TV Ellen’s fault. So I’m just going to fill it the quickest way possible. That is by copying and pasting. Safe mate. I think I can probably fill this column by waffling on a little bit. Loads of people are going to the pub but I can’t be arsed. I went out last night and it killed me.

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Dragon's Eye 11:05pm Question Time 12:05am This Week 1:10am Sign Zone:Child of Our Time: the Children's Stories 1:40am Sign Zone:Simon Schama's Power of Art 2:40am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Trollz 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 8:55am Tweenies 9:15am Something Special 9:30am Big Cook Little Cook 9:50am Lunar Jim 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Let's Write NonFiction 11:50am Emotional Literacy 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Small Town Gardens 1:10pm Tycoon 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm The Trees That Made Britain 7:30pm A Pembrokeshire Farm 8:00pm Coast 9:00pm The Catherine Tate Show 9:30pm Lead Balloon 10:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:05am This Life 12:50am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:GCSE Bitesize Revision: English 1 4:00am GCSE Bitesize Revision: Maths 1 Blistering Pree, all smiling and swollen, makes babies to breathe with their hearts hanging open all over the sheets as soft as beets in some brown dresser drawer. And with bees in her breath and the rest of her ringing, they'll sting through her chest with a force hard and beating, till wonderfully wet she

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity ? Jungle Fever 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm Jungle Run 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Ferret 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm David Walliams: My Life with James Bond 10:00pm Tarrant on TV 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm A Date with Destiny 11:30pm Waterfront 12:00am Free Ride 12:25am ITV Play: The Mint 3:45am Britain's Best Back Gardens 4:10am Driving Mum And Dad Mad 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News... soaked inside her clothes. And there is no sorry to be sorry for. For a roll around the floor some afternoon so sound and soft. It made her swallow all her sweat with every bit of breath she coughs. And when the day it came to pour all her babies all across the bathroom floor, she will be swimming in them all forever more. So there’s the

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am The Play's the Thing 10:30am Ballet Changed My Life: Ballet Hoo! 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm King of Queens 1:55pm The Americano 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Sons and Soldiers 8:00pm The River Cottage Treatment 9:00pm The Last Aztec 11:10pm Risky Business 1:00am Mohabbatein 5:00am Unreported World 5:25am Countdown All I perceive is wasted and broken.

Silvery streams, sacred when spoken slam into me and into the ditch of debris. And you smoke in the park and sleep in the greenery. Everyone barks and they are all still believing. To tear out your heart would send all your secrets to me. But I let you down, and swollen and small is where you'll find me now. With that silver stripping off from my tongue you're tearing out, and you'll never hear me talk. Your teeth believe that teeth are for tearing tear into me and the scent of you sweating smells good to me. And out in the dark the world is still rolling, Kids in their cars, cigarette smoking...

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am Rupert Bear 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Stranger on My Land 3:40pm Once Before I Die 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm House Doctor: Inside and Out 8:00pm Make Me a Supermodel 9:00pm Build a New Life in the Country 10:00pm Criminal Minds 11:00pm A Natural History of Murder 12:05am John Barnes' Football Night 1:00am The Great Big British Quiz 4:00am Major League Soccer 5:00am Dutch Football And all that they are just reeks with the sweetest belief. But I let you down, and swollen and small is where you'll find me now. With that silver stripping off from my tongue you're tearing out, and you'll never hear me talk. All I could want is silver.

And spinning out from your arms and into the pretty pit of your heart. So simply and softly we'd flow. But I let you down, and swollen and small is where you'll find me now. With that silver stripping off from my tongue you're tearing out and you'll never hear...

7:00pm Torchwood: Declassified 7:15pm Robin Hood 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm The Real Hustle 11:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 12:00am Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 2:00am The Real Hustle 2:30am Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 3:25am The Indestructibles Yo, so here we go. TV Gareth back in the hizzouse. See, what happened is I went home about 2 and a half years ago ‘cause I’d finished innit. And then I spoke to my sister on the phone and listened to The Halo Benders and Go Team (No, not The Go! Team. Go Team are a super awesome band from the ‘90s which is made up of Calvin Johnson of Beat Happening and the guy from Built To Spill. Of course you know and like both of those bands because you aren’t a complete waste of space. Oh, really? So you ARE?). Then I watched Never Mind

7:00pm Sounds of the Sixties 7:10pm The Avengers 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Up Pompeii 9:00pm Forty Minutes On 10:00pm Lead Balloon 10:30pm The Late Edition 11:00pm I, Claudius 11:55pm Storyville: The American Ruling Class 12:55am The Late Edition 1:25am Lead Balloon 1:55am Forty Minutes On 2:55am Mark Lawson Talks to Jilly Cooper The Buzzcocks because Simon Amstell is awesome-o, and if I had to be a heat couple with someone, it’d probably be him. And then I came back to the office with my friend Aleks because we were collecting TV Neil on the way to the pub. BUT DISASTER!! One of TV Ellen’s pages hadn’t saved properly because Macs are a bit rubbish, so whilst Neil is getting his jacket on and rolling a fatty bine I’m typing. This has taken me about twenty seconds to type. Serious. Fucking Johnny Five mate.

G’night.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Biker Mice From Mars 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 9:00pm The Lookey Likey Show 9:30pm The Lookey Likey Show 10:00pm The World Is Not Enough 12:35am Test Drive My Girlfriend

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Ewan McGregor 8:00am Wake Up with...

Ewan McGregor 8:30am Whatever...

You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but 2004 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 2:55pm Beauty and the Geek 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Scrubs 9:30pm The War at Home 10:00pm The Sopranos 11:10pm Bo in the USA 11:40pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 12:15am Smack the Pony 12:45am Scrubs 1:15am The War at Home 1:40am The Sopranos 2:35am Bo in the USA 3:00am 8 Out of 10 Cats 3:30am Smack the Pony 3:55am The OC

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 9:00am The KNTV Show 9:30am Wakey Wakey Campers 10:20am Designers Under Pressure 10:30am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Triongl 12:40pm Pingu 12:45pm Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Meees! 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Sons and Soldiers 1:20pm Time Team Special 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:20pm Planed Plant:Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:40pm Planed Plant:Crafwr 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm OFN 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Chez Dudley

Animal 24:7

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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NOVEMBER.06.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Friday Night with...

BBC1 10.35pm

BBC1 10.35pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am City Hospital 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Hard Sell 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm Pinky and the Brain 4:15pm The Basil Brush Show 4:45pm Keep Your Hair On 4:55pm The Slammer 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm A Question of Sport 7:30pm My Family 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Outtake TV 9:00pm Have I Got News for You 9:30pm Not Going Out 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross Jonathan Ross interviews Emma Thompson about her new film Stranger than Fiction also starring Dustin Hoffman and Will Ferrell, soon to be reviewed by TV Ellen in Quench. Also featuring Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt who are The Mighty Boosh, promoting their new DVD, as well as Torchwood star John Barrowman, finished off with some textured squeals from Gwen Stefani.

11:35pm Beverly Hills Cop II 1:20am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:05am Trollz 7:30am Roar 8:30am CBeebies:Charlie and Lola 8:40am Boogie Beebies 8:55am Tweenies 9:15am Something Special 9:30am Big Cook Little Cook 9:50am Lunar Jim 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Razzledazzle 10:50am Making Sense of Health 11:00am Primary History 11:20am Primary Geography: Using the Land 11:40am See You, See Me, See Castles 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:30pm Coast 1:35pm The Day They Gave Babies Away 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Scrum V Live 9:00pm Gardeners' World 9:30pm Simon Schama's Power of Art 10:30pm Newsnight 11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm Later...with Jools Holland 12:40am Ivor Cutler: Looking for Truth with a Pin 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:Ever Wondered about Food? 2:30am Jump Over Your Shadow 3:00am Bringing Home the Bacon 3:30am In the Nick of Time 4:00am Global Fantasy 2: The Irresistible Rise of the Computer Game 4:30am Manchester Divided!

5:00am Following a Score

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity ? Jungle Fever 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Mr Bean: The Animated Series 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm The New Worst Witch 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Life of Ryan: Tonight 8:30pm Airline 9:00pm Blue Murder 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm It's My Shout Film&TV Ryan was involved in the making in four of these six short films (Gun, The Hunt For A New Bob Crutch, Pineapple Girl, The Trek). So watch for the name of Ryan Owen and scream in glee. If you forgot the name, I’ll repeat it until the space ceases to exist: Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen, Ryan Owen...

11:30pm Hell's Kitchen Final 1:10am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:25am Too Many Cooks 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am New Boy 10:30am A-Z of Your Head 11:30am Freshly Squeezed 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm King of Queens 1:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Cheltenham 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:35pm Unreported World 8:00pm The War at Home 8:30pm The Simpsons 9:00pm Unanimous 10:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:35pm Bo in the USA 11:10pm Man to Man with Dean Learner How and why is this so shit?

Who has the answer? I don’t.

11:40pm My Name Is Earl 12:10am The Album Chart Show 12:45am Gumball 3000 1:15am Partypoker.com 2:20am Kontroll 4:15am South American Championship Football Alas there is no space to write in the other column about the Life of Ryan so here goes.

It features Ryan at his most solemn moments. One standout is when Ryan, defying all expectations, is playing in a 5-a-side football match. Next goal wins is uttered and Ryan collects the ball with the deftest of touches and proceeds to venture up the pitch in a speedy fashion. CONTINUED ------------------>

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:50am Hi-5 7:25am Rupert Bear 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Rescuers: Stories of Courage - Two Women 3:50pm I Love You, I Love You Not 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Pimp My Ride UK 8:00pm Pimp My Ride 8:30pm Make Me a Supermodel 10:00pm Crying Freeman A lethal assassin for a secret Chinese organisation, who sheds tears of regret each time he kills, is seen swiftly and mercilessly executing three Yakuza gangsters by a beautiful artist.

12:00am Russ Meyer: King of Sexploitation - The Fellini of the sex-industry.

1:00am The Great Big British Quiz 5:35am Wildlife SOS --------------------------->With unsuitable applomb for a fat lad, he glides past two defenders before smashing the ball past a helpless looking keeper. He turns round to realise play has carried on.

Ryan was later compared to a fat Ryan Giggs and given a 9 out 10 rating.

7:00pm The Real Hustle 7:15pm Robin Hood 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm Torchwood 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11.00pm apparently so shit it’s good. A red head said that...

11:30pm Celebrity Scissorhands 12:25am The Electric Proms: Jamiroquai 1:25am Torchwood 2:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:45am Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids Le Tigre - I’m So Exited is currently Ryan’s choice of track for his new film.

The film itself can be described as 28 Days Later but with a subtle difference.

The uninfected humans will be replaced by small children, and the zombies by peadophiles. The finale will be set in Skegness at one of the many roundabouts, and the paedophiles will be foiled by the dizzying circular motion.

7:00pm The Secret World of Haute Couture 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Nation on Film: Women's Football 9:00pm Legends: Alma Cogan Fabulous 10:00pm In Concert: Supertramp 10:30pm QI 11:00pm Lead Balloon 11:30pm The Avengers 12:20am Legends: Alma Cogan - Fabulous 1:20am The Secret World of Haute Couture 2:20am Nation on Film: Women's Football 2:50am Lead Balloon 3:20am Legends: Alma Cogan - Fabulous One way to get your kicks: Target the blonde girl in the office and make her listen to Loveless by My Bloody Valentine. Wait for the “Is this on repeat?” and then smugly smile.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Biker Mice from Mars 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Judge Judy 5:45pm Celebrity Daredevils 6:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:00pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 8:00pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 9:00pm Die Another Day 11:35pm James Bond: For Real 12:05am Coronation Street

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with John Legend 8:00am Wake Up with John Legend 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but 2005 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 2:55pm Beauty and the Geek 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 10:00pm Unanimous: The Fallout 10:30pm Alien: Resurrection 12:35am Porn: A Family Business 1:15am Porn: A Family Business 1:50am Beauty and the Geek 2:35am Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 3:35am Porn: A Family Business 4:05am The OC 4:45am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:30am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Bobby Friction: Generation 7/7 10:20am Designers Under Pressure 10:30am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am 100 Hottest Web Searches 2005 11:30am The KNTV Show 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 1:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Cheltenham 3:30pm A Place in the Sun 4:00pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Uned 5 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Talwrn Y Beirdd 9:30pm Naw Tan Naw 10:00pm CNEX 10:15pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:50pm Unanimous 11:50pm Bo in the USA 12:20am Man to Man with Dean Learner Yes it is shit. Alas I will still watch. 12:50am Borat's Television Programme 1:30am 50 Greatest Comedy Films

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SATURDAY

NOVEMBER.06.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Casualty

International Rugby

The Cosby Mysteries

Totally Boyband

Franklin

BBC1 8.55pm

BBC2 4.45pm

itv1 1.10pm

C4 11.35am

five 8:00am

6:00am Breakfast 10:15am Rachel's Favourite Food at Home 10:45am The Lord Mayor's Show 12:30pm BBC News; Weather 12:40pm Football Focus 1:20pm Grandstand 1:35pm Rugby League Tri-Nations 2:10pm International Rugby Union 4:30pm Wales on Saturday 5:25pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5:45pm Strictly Come Dancing 7:00pm Robin Hood 7:45pm The National Lottery: 1 vs 100 8:30pm Strictly Come Dancing 8:55pm Casualty 9:45pm Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance 11:15pm BBC News; Weather 11:30pm Match of the Day Watch the mighty mighty Blackburn Rovers kick the living daylight out of Manchester United at Ewood Park. Neil, Gareth you can eat my words with a hot cup of northern racist charm. We are the best team in Lancashire, oh yeah. 1:10am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 2:15am Joins BBC News 24 My dream team of Blackburn players: Tim Flowers in goal.

Henning Berg at right back Colin Hendry at centre back.

Stephan Henchoz also at centre back.

Graeme Le Saux as left back.

Stuart Ripley as the right winger.

Tim Sherwood as centre mid Lars Bohinen as dynamo midfielder.

Damien Duff on the left wing.

Alan Shearer up front.

Chris Sutton as t’other striker.

6:00am CBeebies:Me Too! 6:20am Bob the Builder 6:30am Big Cook Little Cook 6:50am Bob's Mini Projects 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Astro Boy 7:30am Dennis the Menace 7:55am BB3B 8:15am Legend of the Dragon 8:35am What's New Scooby Doo? 9:00am TMi 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm See Hear 12:45pm The Sky At Night 1:05pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 1:35pm Star Trek 2:25pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 3:10pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 3:55pm Monk 4:35pm What the Papers Say 4:45pm International Rugby 7:10pm The Culture Show 8:00pm TOTP 2 8:30pm University Challenge: The Story So far 9:30pm Into the West 11:00pm QI 11:30pm The 40th Annual Country Music Association Awards 1:00am TOTP 2 1:30am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:Ever Wondered? 2:30am Healthy Living... Back to the Future 3:00am Something in the Air 3:30am In Search of Syphilis 4:00am Bloodlines: A Family Legacy 4:30am The Art of Breathing 5:00am Mother Knows Best 5:30am Playing Safe Filth!

TV Neil is typing hairy minge in Google.

The images are reminiscent of the ideads connoted in Dostoevsky’s earlier work, especially resonant in ‘The Idiot’, a work that Tolstoy was fond of.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:20am Pocoyo 6:30am Little Einsteins 6:55am Dora the Explorer 7:20am Lilo and Stitch 7:55am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:15am Biker Mice from Mars 8:50am Avatar 9:25am CITV:SpongeBob SquarePants 9:40am CITV:Horrid Henry 9:55am CITV:Shuriken School 10:25am CITV:Skyland 10:55am ITV News: Remembrance 11:00am CITV:Drake and Josh 11:30am CITV:The New Adventures of Superman 12:30pm The Prestige: Now That's Magic - ITV Movie Special 1:00pm ITV News; Weather 1:05pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:10pm The Cosby Mysteries 2:10pm Death on the Nile 4:35pm ITV Wales News and Weather 4:50pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:05pm All New You've Been Framed! 5:35pm Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

6:35pm The X Factor 8:05pm All Star Family Fortunes 8:55pm The X Factor - The Result 9:30pm Afterlife 10:30pm Parkinson 11:30pm ITV News 11:45pm All New TV's Naughtiest Blunders 12:15am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:35am Trading Treasures 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News You thought Snakes On A Plane was a good title for a film. Well you haven’t lived until your ears have received the dulset northern tones of this one: Bubba Nosferatu and the Curse of the She-Vampires

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Honda Formula 4 Powerboating 7:30am Adrenalin Rush 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:Futurama 9:25am T4:Popworld 10:20am T4:Friends 10:50am T4:T4 Special: Sugababes 11:20am T4:Chancers 11:35am T4:Totally Boyband 12:10pm T4:Sugababes: A Night at the Dominion 1:00pm T4:Charmed 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Cheltenham and Wetherby 4:00pm The Pink Panther 6:05pm Channel 4 News 6:30pm Hitler's Holocaust 7:30pm The Somme 9:35pm Volcano Tommy Lee Jones plays the emergency chief in this disaster (of a) movie.

11:25pm Sexology: Obscene Machines 12:30am 4 Music:4 Music Presents: Scissor Sisters 1:10am 4 Music:4 Play 1:25am 4 Music:Rockfeedback 1:55am 4 Music:4Play: Roridgo y Gabriela 2:10am 4 Music:4Play: Joan as Policewoman 2:25am Purely Belter 4:00am Wild Things 4:50am Unreported World 5:15am Countdown If you hadn’t guessed Bruce Campbell is in Bubba Nosferatu and the Curse of the She-Vampires. He also stars in the production My Name Is Bruce, where character ‘B Movie Legend Bruce Campbell’ is mistaken for his character Ash from the Evil Dead trilogy and forced to fight a real monster in a small town in Oregon. Confusing, perplexing, intruiging, logic defying. I know.

6:00am Sunrise 7:00am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:35am Blue Water High 10:05am Hercules 11:05am Harry and Cosh 11:30am Megastructures 12:30pm Hidden Treasure Houses 1:00pm Hangman's Knot 2:35pm Forbidden Planet What unknown terror roams the planet Altair-4, killing everyone apart from a tormented scientist and his daughter? That would be telling.

4:30pm MVP2: Most Vertical Primate 6:10pm Dracula: Dead and Loving It A spoof of the Dracula myth from the mind of Mel Brooks, and in this vein it’s horrific; horrifically bad. Seek out Young Frankenstein instead.

7:45pm five news and sport 7:55pm NCIS 9:45pm CSI: 10:45pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:45pm Nurse Betty A Kansas City waitress (Renee Zellweger) with dreams of becoming a nurse becomes delusional after seeing her no-good car salesman husband (Aaron Eckhart) murdered. Becoming delusional from shock, she becomes convinced that she is the former fiancee of her soap opera idol (Greg Kinnear) and goes to LA to find the hospital where he works as a cardiologist.

1:45am The Great Big British Quiz 5:35am Wildlife SOS

7:00pm International Rugby Union 8:00pm Top Gear 9:00pm The Real Hustle 9:30pm The Real Hustle 9:45pm Flashdance 11:15pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:45pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:15am Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 2:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:45am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:15am The Real Hustle 3:45am The Indestructibles David: You still haven't met his mum?

Shaun: Not yet!

Philip: Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun?

Shaun: It's not that I don't get on with her...

David: Are you ashamed of your mum, Shaun?

Shaun: No! I love my mum!

Ed: I love his mum too.

Shaun: Ed! Ed: [singing] She's like butter!

Shaun: Ed!

7:00pm Forbidden Shostakovich: Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk 10:00pm Saraband 11:50pm Behind Saraband 12:30am Beau Brummell - this Charming Man 1:50am The Secret World of Haute Couture 2:50am Storyville: The American Ruling Class When yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb, when you think you're too old, too young, too smart or too dumb, when yer laggin' behind an' losin' yer pace, in a slow-motion crawl of life's busy race, no matter what yer doing if you start givin' up, if the wine don't come to the top of yer cup, if the wind's got you sideways with with one hand holdin' on, and the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone, and yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it, and the wood's easy findin' but yer lazy to fetch it...

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald's Farm 8:25am Mags and Mo 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:50am The Wheels on the Bus 9:00am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:10pm Coronation Street Omnibus 2:35pm Holiday Showdown 3:35pm Movies Now 3:45pm Nanny 911 4:35pm The New Adventures of Superman 5:35pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 6:35pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:35pm Planet's Funniest Animals 8:05pm Xtra Factor 8:55pm The Prestige: Now That's Magic - ITV Movie Special 9:30pm Xtra Factor: Results 10:15pm Johnny English 11:55pm The X Factor 1:25am The X Factor - The Result 2:00am ITV Play: Playdate 3:40am Emmerdale Omnibus Lincolnshire sausages are fab!

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 9:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 11:00am E4 Music Gets Animated 12:00pm E4 Music Gets Animated 1:00pm E4 Music Gets Animated 2:00pm The Album Chart Show 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:35pm Friends 6:05pm Wife Swap 7:05pm Invasion 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm The 100 Greatest Cartoons 1:05am Porn: A Family Business 1:35am Bo in the USA 2:10am Wife Swap 3:10am Invasion 3:50am The Album Chart Show 4:20am Switched 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched 5:25am Switched Tesco Value sausages aren’t!

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Honda Formula Powerboating 7:30am Adrenalin Rush 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Futurama 9:20am Friends 9:45am Freaky 10:10am Charmed 11:00am Friends 11:30am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 12:20pm Slave to Fashion 1:25pm Totally Boyband 2:00pm Y Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol 4:30pm Gwyl Cerdd Dant Rhosllannerchrugog A'r Cylch 7:00pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 7:35pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 7:50pm Y Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol 10:00pm Gwyl Cerdd Dant Rhosllannerchrugog A'r Cylch 1:00am Misery 2:55am Gumball 3000 3:25am South American Championship Football 4:15am KOTV So I finish my page with a goodwill message to all who read.

I hope you are all well, and your studies are engaging and fruitful. If not, have a bath, and shave your balls...

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32 gairrhydd

SUNDAY

NOVEMBER.06.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Plant Earth

The Accidental Angler

BBC1 9.00pm

BBC2 8.00pm

6:00am Breakfast 8:05am Match of the Day 9:30am Sunday AM 10:30am Remembrance Sunday: the Cenotaph The only thing to remember about this Sunday is that it’s my 21st birthday.

Put it in your diaries. 12:10pm The Politics Show 1:10pm EastEnders 2:05pm Match of the Day Live 4:25pm Open All Hours 4:55pm Points of View 5:10pm Songs of Praise 5:45pm Antiques Roadshow 6:35pm Kipling: A Remembrance Tale 7:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 8:00pm The Great British Summer 9:00pm Planet Earth Last week we were treated to a Royle Family special which made everyone I know who watched it cry. It was a bit good.

Afterwards we went for a jar down the Feathers in memory of Nana. Sunday TV is pretty crap. It’s hard to write anything about the programmes that are on. If I had anything to moan about that would make it easier. Oh wait, I do have something to moan about. I have an essay due in the day after my birthday which sucks ass. I ideally want to finish it a few days before the Saturday so I can celebrate. I don’t want to get really drunk though. Cos it’s my 21st people are going to make me drink...

10:00pm BBC News; Weather 10:15pm Panorama 10:55pm Celebrity Scissorhands 11:25pm The Day of the Jackal 1:45am The Sky At Night 2:10am Sign Zone:Holby City 3:10am Sign Zone:Who Do You Think You Are?

6:00am CBeebies:Me Too! 6:20am Bob the Builder 6:30am Big Cook Little Cook 6:50am Bob's Mini Projects 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Legend of the Dragon 7:30am Smile 10:00am Something for the Weekend 11:30am Planet Food 12:00pm Countryfile 1:00pm Animal Park 1:30pm Wildlife on Two 2:05pm EastEnders Omnibus 3:05pm Gymnastics: Glasgow Grand Prix 3:10pm Sunday Grandstand 4:30pm Scrum V 5:30pm Remembrance Sunday: Cenotaph Highlights Highlights? Aren’t we lucky. We can watch people mourn more than once in one day.

6:30pm A Wild Cairngorms Winter 7:00pm Strictly Come Dancing 8:00pm The Accidental Angler I was just dangling this rod into the lake and I seem to have hooked a fish. How the fuck did that happen? Accidental my arse.

9:00pm The Catherine Tate Show 9:30pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:00pm Match of the Day 2 10:45pm Arena 11:55pm Arrested Development 12:15am Arrested Development 12:40am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: WorkSkills for BusinessGetting Started 3:00am Dragon's Den 4:00am Welcome to the Cybermarket 5:00am Big Ambitions...loads of horrible stuff. I don’t want to though because I most likely won’t have finished my essay.

Maybe I just won’t celebrate.

6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:25am Power Rangers SPD 7:55am Totally Spies! 8:30am Emperor's New School 9:05am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am CITV:Art Attack 9:50am CITV:Planet Sketch 10:00am The Championship 11:00am The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 12:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:05pm The Way We Worshipped 12:35pm Wales Soccer Sunday 1:05pm Planet's Funniest Animals LOOK! It’s a squirrel on waterskis. LOOK! It’s a cat thats jumping up and down. LOOK! It’s a dead badger. Same shit different day.

1:35pm James Bond: For Real 2:05pm The Cosby Mysteries 3:05pm The X Factor 4:35pm The X Factor - The Result 5:10pm All Star Family Fortunes 6:00pm The Food Show 6:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:40pm ITV News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Heartbeat 9:00pm Midsomer Murders You can watch this all week in the afternoon, but if you really want to, you can watch it again on a Sunday evening. No thanks. I’d rather sit on the toilet and stare at the door. I actually would.

11:00pm ITV News 11:15pm Faith and Music 12:10am UEFA Champions League Weekly 12:40am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Hoobs 6:25am The Hoobs 6:50am Trans World Sport 7:45am World Cup Skiing 8:40am T4:Popworld 9:25am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:55am T4:Chancers 1:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Cheltenham and Fontwell Park 2:55pm T4:Unanimous 3:55pm T4:Charmed 4:55pm Wild Thing I Love You 5:55pm Deal or No Deal 6:40pm Codex 7:45pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Hmm I quite like the Lord of the Rings films. I never finished the book because it was too long. The films are pretty long but watching TV is well easier than reading. That’s why I decided to study English Literature.

11:20pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 11:55pm 4 Music:4Music Presents... 12:30am Goldplated 1:35am 4 Music:Motley Crue: Live in Concert 3:10am The Album Chart Show I’m having trouble deciding what to listen to on the old MP3 player. I’ve already done Shellac and Deerhoof. Had a bit of Will Oldham on earlier too. I want something that’s going to make me type fast. I listened to Don Cabellero on the way to the train station and I got there...3:40am FIVB Beach Volleyball 2006 4:30am KOTV 5:00am Adrenalin Rush I just had a can of Red Bull. I quite like it but I don’t like drinking it because I smoke and drinking caffeine and smoking at the same time is bad for you. On their own they’re perfectly healthy. Obviously.

5:25am Countdown

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Bear in the Big Blue House 6:40am Sailor Sid 6:45am Roobarb and Custard Too 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:05am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:30am The Secret of Eel Island 9:45am Demolition Dad 10:00am Round the Twist 10:30am Over the Sea to School 11:00am Snobs 11:35am Michaela's Wild Challenge 12:05pm A Different Life 12:35pm Revelations 1:05pm five news and sport 1:15pm Killers of the Kalahari 2:00pm Captain Ron 3:55pm MTV Europe Music Awards 2006... in about 20 minutes which is impressive considering I live about 30 minutes walk away. I was hungover to hell but was literally marching through town.

I’ve settled for Neutral Milk Hotel. King of Carrot Flowers Pts. 2 and 3 is making me type pretty quickly. Bahhh I’m running out of things to say now. I have literally about 3 lines to fill. I’ll fill the rest of the space with lyrics as I normally do. Come on, only 1 more line to go. Yes! I win. Fuck you.

5:55pm five news and sport 6:05pm The Mighty Ducks 8:00pm Make Me a Supermodel 9:00pm Ghost 11:30pm World's Wildest Police Videos 12:30am Adventure Triathlon 12:55am NFL Live 4:40am Football Argentina

7:00pm The Real Hustle 7:15pm Robin Hood 8:00pm Celebrity Scissorhands 9:00pm My Small Breasts and I 10:00pm Torchwood 10:50pm The Real Hustle 11:25pm Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut 1:25am Torchwood 2:15am Torchwood: Declassified 2:30am The Real Hustle 3:00am Grime Scene Investigation 3:30am The Indestructibles There are beads that wrap around your knees that crackle into the dark. Like a walk in the park, like a hole in your head, like the feeling you get when you realize you're dead this time. We ride roller coasters into the ocean, we feel no emotion as we spiral down to the world. And I guess it's worth your time because there's some lives you live and some you leave behind. It gets hard to explain, the gardenhead knows my name. Leave me alone, for you know this isn't the first time, in fact this is twice in a row. That the angels have slipped through our landslide...

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm Legends: Alma Cogan - Fabulous 9:00pm Madonna Talks to Kirsty Wark 9:30pm Masters and Commanders: No 10 and the Generals 10:30pm BBC Four Sessions 11:30pm The Late Edition 12:00am Pete Doherty Talks to Kirsty Wark 12:30am Madonna Talks to Kirsty Wark 1:00am Masters and Commanders: No 10 and the Generals 2:00am BBC Four Sessions 3:00am Legends: Alma Cogan Fabulous and filled up our garden with snow. And I don't wish to taste of your insides or to call out your name through my phone. For the glory boys at your bedside will love you as long as you’re something to own. Follow me through a city of frost covered angels, I swear I have nothing to prove. I just want to dance in your tangles to give me some reason to move.

But to take on the world at all angles requires a strength I can’t use.

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Engie Benjy 6:45am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Bug Alert! 7:25am Power Rangers Space Patrol Delta 7:55am Totally Spies! 8:30am Emperor's New School 9:05am Spongebob Squarepants 9:25am Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? 10:30am All Star Family Fortunes 11:15am Emmerdale Omnibus 2:00pm Johnny English 3:45pm Coronation Street Omnibus 6:05pm Thatch Goes Back 7:05pm The X Factor 8:35pm The X Factor The Result 9:15pm Xtra Factor: Results 10:00pm Entourage 10:30pm The Office: An American Workplace 11:00pm Thatch Goes Back 12:00am Coronation Street 12:30am Entourage 1:00am The Office: An American Workplace 1:30am ITV Play: Playdate 4:00am ITV Play: Playalong

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:40am The All Star Wake Up Call 9:40am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:40am An Hour with Sugababes 11:40am An Hour with Sugababes 12:40pm Sugababes Mixtape 1:45pm Sugababes: A Night at the Dominion 2:40pm T4 Special: Sugababes 3:10pm Popworld 4:00pm Reunion 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm The War at Home 7:00pm One Tree Hill 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer 10:00pm The Sopranos 11:15pm Hollyoaks: In the City 12:15am Scrubs 12:45am The War at Home 1:15am Ghost Whisperer 2:05am The Sopranos 3:00am Hollyoaks: In the City 4:00am Reunion 4:40am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:25am Switched So I'll meet you up high in your anger of all that is hoping and waiting for

6:00am The Hoobs 6:25am The Hoobs 6:50am Trans World Sport 7:45am Charmed 8:35am Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:05am Yr Wythnos 11:35am Maniffesto 12:05pm Rownd a Rownd 12:30pm Rownd a Rownd 1:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Cheltenham and Fontwell Park 2:55pm Beyonce: T4 Special 3:30pm Cwpwrdd Dillad 4:00pm 04 Wal 4:30pm Chez Dudley 5:30pm Newyddion 5:35pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 7:30pm Cerdded y Llinell 8:00pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 9:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:05pm Newyddion 10:15pm The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 1:35am Dead Man's Shoes 3:05am World Cup Skiing 3:55am Unreported World you. Why is there space here?

There’s not normally space here. S4C are lazy on Sundays and they’re just trying to make my job harder. Bastards.

Anyway, I’m going to babble on about having 2 lines to fill until I’ve finished so that I finish quicker. Ha!

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Heartbeat

The Album Chart Show

Captain Ron

ITV1 8.00pm

C4 3.10am

five 2.00pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

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33

PROBLEM PAGE

NOVEMBER.06.2006 PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

The de Ville’s Advocate This week: I would do anything for love. But I won’t do THAT. Grace’s Guide to Badgers

WARNING...

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS...

...BEAST?

The Otter: The thinking man’s parrot.

You can force me to watch “The Animals of Farthing Wood” until the stoats come home but it won’t pull the wool over my eyes. Badgers aren’t very nice. In fact, they’re rather foul and boorish. The popular portrayal of the badger in literature, art and song has been that of a wise and kindly old soul (see also: “The Wind in The Willows”) but I have the evidence to prove that this is a misconception. Badger of “Bodger and Badger” fame is about as close to the mark as fiction is ever going to get.

His brand of cheeky and often malicious humour is akin to that of the many Badgers I’ve met in my line of work.

They‘re shrewd, rude, and lewd and will do anything for food. In reality, badgers will not eat mashed potato unless they’re really famished. The behaviour of the common badger is erratic to say the least. They are known to sporadically emit a blood-curling scream for no apparent reason. If you’ve ever heard a badger scream, then you’re likely to be suffering from nightmares and flashbacks. I feel your pain - when I was nine I had to endure the manic coughing of a cow with a nasty case of bronchitis.

I had been playing a game of hide and seek and had gotten stuck in a laundry basket in the utility room of my Aunt’s farmhouse in Kent. For some reason the basket was transported to the yard, presumably because someone wanted to hang some clothes. I became aware of a piercing scream that sounded like a thousand elderly banshees drowning in a sea of cold phlegm. It was terrifying. I was eventually released from my wicker prison and lived to see another day. I only discovered the origin of the strange noise a year later when another Friesian succumbed to a chest infection.

Heed my words: Badgers are BAD. They’ll stop at nothing to get what they want.

Horizontal jogging, anyone?

Dear Grace, I’ve been trying to get laid since I came to uni.

Unfortunately no one seems to want to “get it on” with me. I don’t know what the problem is – I’m smart, attractive, intelligent, witty and modest. I also have really good hair. Have you any tips on how the modern man might get his wicked way with a young belle?

Paul Orridge, Physics Dear Paul, It’s strange that you’ve written to me this week as I’ve just completed the first draft of my new guide for the Welsh Urban Single Student, entitled “The W.U.S.S’s Guide to Sex. It features all the tips you need to pick up even the most voracious of “hotties”. I’ve heard tales of women asking men out themselves, but these rumours are unfounded.

If this kind of brazen female truly exists, then you’d be wise to steer

clear of such harpies as they’re clearly feminists. It makes me shudder just to think of them.

Fancy a less opinionated and more demure kind of lady? Head on down (or up) to Rubber Duck on a Wednesday night and if you don’t find yourself a mate by the end of the night then you’re guaranteed your money back. For the nominal sum of three pounds sterling, you can get yourself a good woman and dance to student anthems ‘til your feet fall off. Upon entry, it’d be wise to survey both the prey AND your competition. If you espy an attractive potential bedfellow, why not buy the lucky lass a drink? Any modern single female worth her salt drinks alcopops. You can usually tell what the lady likes to drink by the staining around her mouth.

Synthetic colourants make the job of the would-be lothario SO easy.

Picture the scene: A pretty bit of stuff casually leans against the bar.

You saddle up next to her.

did you guess? You’re so perceptive. I feel like I’ve known you all my life.”

YOU: “I guess I’m just in tune with the fragile spirit of womankind. It’s a gift I inherited from my late mother.” (Mentioning your mother and/or a family death at this stage works a treat) HER: “Oh you poor thing!”

YOU: “It’s ok, it’s made me a stronger person. Do you want to see my cock? It’s like a third leg”

HER: (Weak at the knees and dribbling slightly) “Yeah, go on then.”

See. Putty in your hands. The woman is an easy species to configure. The good hair gives you an advantage. Use it wisely.

Look out for the finished volume in all good bookshops VERY SOON. Peace, love and pheromones,

YOU: “Blue VK, right?”

HER: (Gawps in amazment)“How

Grace xx (P.S. I bet your hair looks shit)

Itchy and Scratchy Dear Grace,

Dear Worried first year,

I have an unusual and quite silly problem. All my mates take the piss out of me for buying scratchcards but they don’t know that I CAN’T stop. I’ve spent four hundred and eighty pounds on scratchcards, yet I’ve only won a bloody fiver. Am I the unluckiest person on earth or just the most stupid?

If my boyfriend found out then he’d be so upset – his Grandad had a heart attack when he lost his house and caravan at the greyhound track and he’s never quite gotten over it. I want to stop. Help.

Do not worry and do not stress.

Pathological gambling is a common condition amongst the young and upwardly mobile.

There was once a time when people like yourself were locked away with other social misfits such as unmarried mothers, lepers and murderers, but unfortunately these days are long gone.

Instead, some “experts” claim that addiction to gambling is a REAL illness.

Suddenly it’s in vogue to have some kind of mental malady, like M.E. or Avian Flu. It’s just attention-seeking in its lowest form and I won’t stand for it.

A worried first year.

I don’t know whether you’re still smarting from the fact that you didn’t have the Sylvainian families’ barge or a pony, but some of us have REAL problems like gout or halitosis.

Get yourself down to a bingo hall once in a while and you’ll see what gambling REALLY does to someone.

Once you’ve seen the hardened faces of those bitter grannies as they dab away furiously at their numbers, you’ll realise that a few scratchcards here and there are nothing to worry about.

Love and snuggles, Grace xxx

Good evening. I’d like to say that I wasn’t listening to I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor, but that’d be a blatent lie. As usual, mail your problems to the address at the top of the page. I read them intently. Honest. See you next week.

gairrhydd

FIVEMINUTEFUN@gairrhydd.COM

SUDOKU 3

!

7 1

9

6 9 6

3

5

4

8

2

7

8

5

6

1

5 1

! Lonely hearts

4 7

2

HOW TO PLAY SUDOKU: Fill in the grid using only the numbers 1 through to 9. All the vertical and horizontal rows should contain the numbers 1 to 9. All the smaller 3 by 3 squares should contain the numbers 1-9. No row or 3 by 3 square should have the same number twice.

CROSSWORD 1

Yes, it’s that time again my pretties. Spend some quality time with your decrepid and boring nan and get down to see some of this year’s pants pantos.

Note: Real celebrity not included.

More desperate than a duck in a desert. Quack.

6

2

Top 5 celebrity pantos

4

2

7 4

2

3 5

8

Are you lonesome tonight? Has watching re-runs of X- factor finally crushed your soul until you’re convinced that you will die alone and unloved and possibly be eaten by next door’s dog? Then look no further fellow desperados...

7

9 11

2. Sven Goren Erikson hits the bright lights with style and charisma as he plays Little Red Riding Hood’s sex starved granny, Mathilda.

3. Madonna can be found wowing the masses in a remake of the classic Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Obviously, she plays the child snatcher.

4. Save it - anything you’ve got to say you can say to my lawyer. But if you’re not my ex-wife, why not write to Box No 5377. I enjoy vodka, canasta, evenings in and cold, cold revenge.

5.They call me Naughty Lola. Run-of-the-mill beardy physicist (M,46).

6.Weener eating Australian seeks cheese eating surrender monkey for discussion, history lessons and bondage.

7. Um bop, ageing Hanson fan seeks M 7 - 24.

Long hair, aryan race, must share obsession of sibling based pop/rock. Do be do bu do bop. Out.

1. Romance is dead. So is my mother. Man, 42, inherited wealth.

8. Roses are red, violets are blue. I’ve got a foaming gash that needs licking by you. (F, 46)

2.Today we are kittens, but tomorrow we are tigers.

Confused zoologist (F.34)

9. Small man wanted to join my Hobbit clan. Must enjoy re-enacting Lord of the Rings and have hairy feet.

3. Ladies: apply now for opportunity to make love with a Roman gladiator (bankrupt publisher, 5ft 2in, but every bit a man).

10. Enthusiastic man avec trout pout seeks twitchy F for awkward silences, crap sex and dull conversation.

House mate puked over themself again? Boyfriend caught his knob in the toaster? Take a picture and text it to:

07791165 837

12 13

1. Claire Sweeney, formerly known as a gun toting gangster/lesbian/garage attendent in Brookside.

Her newest venture involves playing Gash Maggee in Guys and Dolls.

4

6

10

14 15

16

17

18

19

20 21

22

23 24

25 26

ACROSS

1. Immature (5) 5. However (5,3) 8. Energy (5) 10. Point opposite West (4) 13. Marquess of Bath’s estate (8) 14. State of confusion (4) 16. A mixture of smoke and fog (4) 17. A crisp Indian bread (8) 21. Visitor (5) 22. Egyptian bird (4) 24. Slightly intoxicated (5) 25. Going backwards (8) 26. Seat for one person (5)

35

FIVE MINUTE FUN

NOVEMBER.06.2006

Access

s all area

cigaret alcoholtes and

l visit

parenta

DOWN

1. Somerset town (6) 2. Part of the neck (4) 3. Commerce (5) 4. Flat currant biscuit (9) 6. Islamic religious ruling (5) 7. Contract for letting (5) 9. Ethiopian Emperor,- - Selassie (5) 12. Cheek, backchat (9) 15. Break into parts (5) 16. Sweetener (5) 18. Pungent vegetable (5) 19. Hungarian language (6) 20. Home office (5) 23. Turban owner (4)

future

prospe

ct

at h for thndow c u m how in the wi doggy

happy h allowe

en

gairrhydd

37

GRAB!

NOVEMBER.06.2006 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

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Chick flick heaven!

R

OUGH GUIDES and UIP/Universal pictures have teamed up to offer you guys the ultimate chick flick prize! Don’t miss out on your chance to win one of two goodie bags which include: two cinema tickets to see the latest chick flick offering Step Up, along with Step Up merchandise and, of course a copy of the Rough Guide to Chick Flicks!

The Rough Guide to Chick Flicks is a lively guide to the movies women love, from melodramas to biopics, thrillers to rom-coms. Sassy, informed and occasionally unexpected, it celebrates women's films of every kind.

The history: Silent sirens, screwball dames, blonde bombshells, power dressers and indie chicks.

The must-sees: The lowdown on 50 essential women's movies, from Breakfast At Tiffany's and Bend It Like Beckham to Pretty Woman and The Piano – with a fair few surprises thrown in.

The faces: Heroines and heart-throbs

from Audrey Hepburn to Julia Roberts, Cary Grant to Hugh Grant, not forgetting key writers, directors and costume designers.

Chick lit and chick flicks: Tracing the relationship between the books and the movies, with juicy back stories about the best women writers from Louisa May Alcott to Virginia Woolf.

Women of the world: Historical classics and contemporary hits from countries as different as Australia and Iran.

The perfect guide for admirers of powerful women in film.

Step Up is the latest girly flick from Universal. Tyler Gage is a rebel from the wrong side of Baltimore's tracks-and the only thing that stands between him and an unfulfilled life are his dreams of one day making it out of there. Nora is a privileged ballet dancer attending Baltimore's ultra-elite Maryland School of the Arts, and the only thing standing in the way of her obviously brilliant future is finding a great dance partner for her senior showcase. When trouble with the law lands

Tyler with a community service gig at Maryland School of the Arts, he arrives as an angry outsider, until his skills as a gifted street dancer draw Nora's attention. Now, as sparks fly between them, both on and off stage, Tyler realizes he has just one performance to prove that he can step up to a life far larger than he ever imagined. Equals a formula for the perfect chick flick!

For your chance to win one of these fantabulous goodie bags we want your best ideas for a new Rough Guide. For example, The Rough Guide to being Single - how to avoid those drunken calls to your ex and cooking for one! E-mail us your idea and you could be a lucky winner!

Hello everyone! My oh my, we have some fabulous prizes for you to get your mitts on this week. Including two Rough Guide to Chick Flicks goodie bags, perfect for all you girly girls out there. We also have three awesome djtees.com t-shirts to give away to keep you looking cool on these frosty autumn days. And, for all you football fanatics out there, we have two signed copies of Footy Rocks by frank but funny football columnist John Nicholson. So go on, enter our competitions and we might just make your week! Oh, and not to forget our lucky winners from the Halloween issue. Katie Kennedy is the happy winner of a pirate Halloween costume from Dunbars! James Johnson and Georgina Coles won a pair of cinema tickets each to Vue, and Adeline Tan is the lucky winner of some Blackwell’s book vouchers.

Back of the net!

F

OOTY ROCKS! is the new book by acclaimed Football writer John Nicholson and we have two signed copies up for grabs courtesy of Northern Monkey publishing!

John Nicholson writes for football365.com.

If you’ve never read him, he’s not a typical football writer. He brings together his love for all things Rock n Roll with a real passion for the game. His new book, Footy Rocks! is 50 of his best, and most infamous columns from the last 5 years, and a cracking, funny and thought provoking read it is as well.

He’s often very provocative, but he says things which you just don’t read anyone else in the media saying. There are superb rants against the national anthem, stewards, having a minutes silence, the media and loads more. He tells it like it is, and he pulls no punches. It’s great to read someone who expresses genuine emotion about the

game.

But Nic also loves rock music with an obvious passion. Having played guitar in a band in the late 80s and early 90s, he tells stories about being in a touring rock band - they seem to have played everywhere from Tewkesbury to Los Angeles via Berwick and Santa Barbara and somehow uses, what are superb, sometimes filthy stories, to make valid points about football.

It’s a unique style of writing that is all his own, and you can’t help liking the bloke, even though at times he seems totally whacked out.

Anyone who takes LSD and goes to watch Barnsley play football deserves respect!

It’s not like anything you’ve ever read before. Sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll and football all in one book for just £7.99.

Brilliant. Buy it from www.northernmonkeypublishing.com or from Football365’s shop.

Or… enter our competitions and win one of two signed copies! What is the name of the famous footy website that John writes for? Send your answer to the usual e-mail address.

Rockin’ tees A

FTER a music tea with a difference? Then look no further than djtees.com. They have offered the chance for three of you lucky folks to win a cool T-shirt from their extensive collection. You will be looking too cool for school in next to no time!

DJTees is an amazing web site. If you want a T-shirt with almost any musician from the last 40 years on, these are the people to go to.

They have unique designs of everyone from Hendrix to Nick Drake, from Jack White to Bob Dylan.

Run by two talented designers for over four years now, DJTees was called “A cavalcade of Cultural Heroism” by the Guardian. Which is a posh way of saying it’s really, really good.

Every design is a DJTees original and there are nearly 1000 designs now. Amazingly, they come in up to eight colour combinations and all sizes up to 5xl. Why doesn’t everyone offer so much choice? But it doesn’t stop there, they’ve actually remembered women love Rock n Roll as well! So you can get every design on 3 sizes of women’s skinny fits in loads of different colours. How cool is that?

In ‘The Word’ Section, you’ll also find dozens of great slogan type shirts such as ‘I sold My Soul For Rock n Roll’ and ‘Little Miss Rock n Roll.’

DJTees are efficient, professional, friendly and somehow very hip without trying very hard. Go get yourself a great t-shirt and buy a couple of Xmas presents while you’re there from this top-notch t-shirt company. www.djtees.com - T-shirts That Rock!

What heavy metal band T-shirt does Butthead, from Beavis and Butt-head, famously wear? a. Iron Maiden b. AC/DC c. Black Sabbath

Want a fantastic T-shirt from Djtees?

Well there’s three up for grabs so just email us the answer to the following question:

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

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38 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

NOVEMBER.06.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This week: prog-rockers Muse, ‘the voice’ Beverly Knight and sleuthing with

Beverly Knight @ St. David s Hall Thu. Nov 9 7.30pm/ £22

Listings Editor Rosaria Sgueglia recommends

T

his is the week of Beverly Knight. Her amazing voice will be the focus of a great event in St. David’s Hall.

Why can’t you miss this concert?

Firstly, Beverly’s songs are located in many different genres: not only R&B, as many of her works suggest, but also blues and gospel. According to her

An Inspector Calls @ Sherman Wed. Nov 8 7.30pm/ £11 Listings Editor Jenna Harris recommends

A

n Inspector Calls is one of those British plays that deserve more status than it gets, instead of being lumped in as part of the GSCE syllabus. A darkly ironic tale of the fallacies of middle class constructs, capitalism and repression of the poor, the play is brought to life on the stage far better than any classroom can.

Investigating the connections of

Coming Up

official website, she doesn’t want to be identified in one music genre, “I’m not a soul purist” says Beverly, “just because I’m a black female singer don’t expect me to do just one thing.”

She continually reinvents her sound which is a reason to go and watch her performance, and Beverly’s career is also impressive. She has already won three Mobo awards and she can boast fans such as David Bowie, Mohammed Ali, Nelson Mandela and even the leaders of the G8. She has also sung with Musiq Soul Child, Jay Kay, Jools Holland and Courtney Pine. Not so bad.

Beverly’s first single released from her collection of hits from her first ten years in the business is an interpretation of Janis Joplin’s classic Piece of my heart.

She explains her choice: “On every tour I have done in the last few years I always like to do one interpretation of a song I love by another artist” and continues, “there’s been many, but my favourites are probably I feel for you,

the rich, Midlands-based Birling family of 1912 to the suicide of industrial worker Eva Smith, fired from her job at the factory owned by Arthur Birling, the play uncovers the façade the family put on as successful pillars of the community, instead suggesting that through their own selfish actions they have all led to Eva’s suicide.

Following her dismissal, caused by her attempts to campaign for higher wages for manufacturers, the ghostlike Inspector Goole turns up and reveals to the other family members as the play progresses how they too paid a part in her death.

The secrets revealed threaten to expose the artificiality of the Birlings' family unit and the disingenuous images that they project, even to each other.

It starts with a celebration for daughter Sheila’s engagement to the future Lord Croft, a man superior in class and wealth to the Brumleybased Birlings, but it is interrupted by Goole’s appearance, who immediately establishes that Arthur sees the prospective union as a way to

The Prince song that was a hit for one of my all time heroes, Chaka Kahn, The Gwen Guthrie ‘original soul girl power anthem’, Ain`t Nothing Going On But The Rent and latterly, Piece of My Heart.

Have you been charmed by her original sound, phenomenal career or great choice in heroes?

Don’t miss this exciting concert, it’s a good chance to experience an impressive artist like Beverly Knight.

Muse @ CIA Sun. Nov 12 7.30pm

Natalie Parkinson recommends

T

increase his business'’own standing.

A former Lord Mayor of Brumley, Arthur, unlike his wife Sybil, comes from a working class background but is driven by greed and a desire to climb social ladders, while Sybil works for a charity that helps the poor, yet holds prejudices against the working class.

An Inspector Calls highlights the dangers of capitalism on the world and the repression that it can cause the poor. Not shown on stage until 1946, Priestly’s play takes on a great sense of irony by making its most flawed character the only one to have come from a poor background, while the children, Eric and Sheila, are the only ones to exhibit real remorse for what they did. Priestley himself was known for his strong political views and it is widely believed that Inspector Goole was used as a foil to express his own beliefs.

An Inspector Calls is more than just a detective thriller. Beneath the layers of irony and social criticism you will find an engaging and humorous play.

his three-piece Devonshire band from quiet Teignmouth are set to be far from gentle when they light up the stage at the CIA, supported by rock/punk/jazz group the Noisettes.

First forming in 1996, they have come a long way: at the Q awards in October this year, they won ‘Best Live Act’, beating Oasis, Razorlight, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers and the Arctic Monkeys. They were previously known as Rocket Baby Dolls but after winning their first ever battle of the bands, they settled on Muse.

The front man, Matthew Bellamy has said, “For me, Muse is about getting the hopes, dreams, desires, frustrations out of your system that you wouldn’t normally be able to do. It’s about showing people that there are things inside buried that should be exposed, and having no shame about them. We can communicate no matter the environment.”

Their first album, Showbiz, was produced in October 1999, selling over 700,000 copies worldwide, so it was obvious even then that they were going to be a hit. After being nominated at the Brit Awards for ‘Best New Act’, they brought out their second album Origin of Symmetry with the ubiquitous Plug in Baby, the number 11 chart hit which was so memorably loved at their headlining gig at Reading and Leeds Festival this summer. They then went on to receive an award for ‘Best British Band’ at the Kerrang Awards, which was duly repeated the following year.

In promotion of Origin of

Symmetry, their world tour resulted in 1.3 million copies sold, and their latest album Black Holes and Revelations looks set to do just as well.

This unashamedly carefree band are meant to be taken light-heartedly, with a lot of their music revolving around the fantastical nature of science with the belief that we are cloned from aliens. Matthew Bellamy has said, “There's an element of not really giving a damn. There’s a lot of freedom in being able to laugh at yourself.”

You are most definitely not going to want to miss out on seeing this electic, ecletic, eccentric band.

Magic Numbers -16 Nov @ SU…The Charlatans -25 Nov @ SU... The Heights - 27 Nov @ Barfly... Brakes -28 Nov @ The Point... The Datsuns -3 Dec @ Barfly ... The Damned -12 Dec @ The Point...Ralfe Band (as seen on The Mighty Boosh)-13 Dec @Barfly...Men Women and Children / Kill The Arcade-14 Dec @Barfly... Ga Ga-15 Dec @The Point...Bogiez-16 Dec @The Point...Blackfly-18 Dec @Barfly...The Sex Pistols Experience -20 Dec @Barfly...Said Mike /Cornerstone / SKWAD-22 Dec @Barfly...

gairrhydd

39

LISTINGS

NOVEMBER.06.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

the GCSE favourite An Inspector Calls

Monday

06/11

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative sweat fest, with bands provided by LMS and DJ-ing by Oddsoc. 10pm-2am. £3.

X Factory @ The Taf The University’s student radio station shows off its best DJs. 9pm-1am. Free with NUS. I-Candy @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ latest superclub. £3/4 NUS. Movie Monday @ Molokos DJs, new music, live bands. 7pm. Free.

The Hedrons/ Miss Conduct / Ironfly @ Barfly If the music of The Hedrons were a place, it would be where you go to disrobe, have a moment of revelatory pause, and suddenly scream your guts out at the end of a long day. Don’t miss them. 7.30pm. £5.

The Aliens /Ian Anderson / Joanna Foster @ The Point The music is described as psychedelicallyinclined rock & acid-dipped electronics and is a lot more ‘fun’ than the Beta Band.

Check out singles ‘Robot Man’ & ‘The Happy Song’ to get you in the mood to buy some tickets. The band were on top form at The Green Man Festival, so expect a great set from these Scottish wonders. 7.30pm. £7.

Pick Of The Day The Wind That Shakes the Barley @ Chapter Arts In 1920s Ireland, workers unite to form volunteer guerrilla armies to face the ruthless ‘Black and Tan’ squads that are being shipped from Britain to block Ireland’s bid for independence. Driven by a deep sense of duty and love for his country, protagonist Damien abandons his promising career as a doctor and joins his brother in a dangerous and violent fight for freedom. 8.30pm. £5/10.

Friday 10/11

..

Access All Areas @ SU New Look Friday. Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. It should be a good night. 10pm-2am. £3.50/£3 adv.

The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Music for those who love music. An indie and retro night that takes in the heady landscape created by the likes of Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Dusty Springfield.

10pm – 2.30am. £3.50/£4.

Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV compares an indie-tastic night of alternative music, from the Strokes to the Smiths. 10.30pm-2am. £5.

Chaos @ Metros The hard rock night. £2.50 before 10pm.

Full Fat @ Moloko Cheeky bootlegs to heavy funk, old skool classics, and jump up party breaks. Free entry before 11pm.

Beneath The Surface/Lesson Number 1 Present: Coughs / The Physicists / The Spines @ Clwb Ifor Bach The Coughs feature two drum-kits, saxophone, oil drum percussion, and a lot of deranged punk energy. Cardiff’s The Physicists are ragged riot-girl revivalists who have been much praised by Radio Wales Adam Walton, and drone-tinged newcomers The Spines. 8pm. £3.50.

Amplifier @ Barfly A three-piece from Manchester who amalgamate the very best bits of Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath and My Bloody Valentine.

7.30pm. £5.

Pick of the Day John Power @ The Point The ex-bassist with The La's and former guitarist/singer with Brit-poppers Cast.

He released his first solo album, Happening For Love following Cast’s 2002 split. Last year he rejoined The La’s for their reformation tour, and took up his old job as bassist. 8pm. £10.

Tuesday

07/11

Forecast @ Buffalo BarA Weekly Clubnight.

Something of a night of hidden treasures: representing under-represented music. www.weareforecast.com 8pm-3am. £6.

Planet Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bac Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth.” Drinks promotions and you can email song requests. Alternatively, visit www.myspace.com/planet_rock_club9pm2pm. £3.

Decade (Club Night) @ Barfly Decade brings you the very best pop, cheese, and crossover tracks from the Eighties and Nineties. Remember the likes of Care-Bears, dancing flowers, Sonic the Hedgehog and Where’s Wally? Well they all hold a special place in our hearts and so do the tunes! Decade has raided every back issue of Smash Hits, and dug out all the old NOW compilations (you know you loved them too) so you can expect to hear classics from New Kids on The Block, Madonna, Take That, Britney, Human League, Hanson, Sonia, Blur, East 17, Nirvana, INXS, Deee-lite, Vanilla Ice, Spice Girls, MC Hammer, Oasis, Steps, Suede, 2Unlimited, Pulp, Europe and so on.

Don’t miss it. 10.30pm. £3/2.

Yo La Tengo @ The Point With the core comprised of singer/guitarist Ira Kaplan and his wife, drummer/vocalist Georgia Hubley, YLT are great. 7.30pm. £11.

Wednesday 08/11

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Clubbing for jocks, pretend jocks and those who love to dress up in costume. Suprisingly, it is a huge sell out. 10pm. £3.

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. On one, classic funk and Motown, another indie classics and brand new music, and on the final floor, cheese. 9.30pm. £3.

The Long Blondes album launch @ Clwb Ifor Bach Tonight is the launch of The Long Blondes debut album 'Someone to Drive you Home'. Giveaways include badges/Tshirts/album/stickers and airfresheners!

Pick Of The Day Cosmic Rough Riders/ Unkle Bob / The Donde Stars @ Barfly With all these New Wave bands knocking around, you may have glazed over your memory of Cosmic Rough Riders, but the veteran janglers are back with a vengeance and their first new material since 2003. Just make sure you catch them before they go supernova. 7.30pm.

Panic @ Barfly The very latest and great Indie hits.

10.30pm. Free.

Acid Mothers Temple /Voice Of The Seven Woods @ The Point After performing with such bands as Toho Sara, Ohkami No Jikan, Musica Transonic, and Mainliner, Japanese guitarist Makoto Kawabata decided to continue his musical explorations by bringing together like-minded individuals to create trippy psychedelic freakouts. Inspired by Karlheinz Stockhausen, Krautrock, and 70s progressive hard rock, Acid Mothers Temple & the Melting Paraiso U.F.O. (Underground Freak Out) was founded in 1996 as a “soul collective.” Enjoy.

7.30pm. £8.

A Christmas Carol @ New Theatre Charles Dickens’ best-loved tale is brought vividly to life in this brand new adaptation with music from the Wales Theatre Company.

Journey back to Victorian London where a miserly old man is about to meet a series of ghostly apparitions and in the course of just one night, learn the true meaning of Christmas. A Christmas Carol is an early festive present from the New Theatre that’s guaranteed to send you singing down the street.

Saturday 11/11

Sunday 12/11

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Traffic (DJ and clubbing society) playing house music in the other. 10pm. £3.50.

Blueprint @ Moloko Retro disco, future house, disco roots, drinks promos. Latin in the Express lounge. Free before 10pm, £3.50 after.

Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. Hellbent! @ The Model Inn, Quay Street Cardiff city’s only rock night on a Saturday.

9pm - 2am.

Delinquent @ Metros Alternative and new music mixed with the best indie tunes. The dungeon-like surroundings makes it even better. 9pm-4am. Free with flyer before 10pm/£4.

Clwb Cariad @ Clwb Ifor Bach Contemporary sounds (downstairs) with a little bit of other stuff thrown in 10pm – 2.30am. £3/4.

Rumble Strips @ Barfly Blending sax and trumpet with pounding piano and drums, the Rumble Strips’ sound has been compared to Dexy's Midnight Runners. After signing to Transgressive Records, they quickly began to establish themselves as quality indie rockers.

7.30pm. £6.

Pick Of The Day Motorhead @ SU One of Birmingham’s greatest imports play Cardiff once more. Don’t miss this chance to see one of the original Metal bands up close in such a small venue.

One half of Listings saw them last year and reported back that, “They were amazing!” Hard riffage, sweaty men with long hair, and the best bass-playing front man in the world. What’s not to like?

They even do Ace of Spades as well.

7pm. £22.

Pick of the Day The Feeling @ SU The five-piece write rousing indie anthems: Never Be Lonely and Fill My Little World are just two of them. Sold out, but I’m sure that you can find some random flogging tickets (proper, legal tickets- I’m not at all condoning supporting touts) and then go and have the time of your life. 7pm.

Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere, along with your chance to experience live acoustic acts, songwriters, bands and performers, as well as participating yourself if you so desire and sharing your musical talent with the rest of the world. (ok, a small part of Cardiff.)

8pm-3am. £1.00.

The Hop @ Buffalo Bar Resident DJs present 50s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. Cult 50s films, drive in themes and extra large milkshakes are said to be involved as well. 8pm3am. Free.

Save the Children Benefit Gig: The Afterlife / Twist The Knife @ Clwb Ifor Bach Gig for chazza that is supporting a good cause. For more information, contact venue.

7pm. £4.

House of the Gods @ New Theatre House of the Gods, is set in a back street pub during World War 1 and is a Gothic opera in which comedy and horror mix to the extent that they walk hand in hand. Echoes of music hall and cabaret mingle with the seductive sounds of patriotic propaganda as the protagonist Jack, home from fighting on the Front, finds himself living through what seems like a macabre and surreal opium dream. House of the Gods explores sacrifice, sex, innocence and empire as Jack tries to avoid being a hero. Challenging and intriguing, it’s an interesting, unique play that should be worth seeing. 7.30pm. £7.

Thursday 09/11 The Bait Shop @ Barfly For all those who want a student night with an alternative twist. They’ve got everything from Deathcab and The Shins through to Basement Jaxx and the Chemical Brothers without forgetting to stop by Michael Jackson, Prince and Madonna.

10.30pm. £3/2 with NUS. Clubnight @ La Tropicana Hip-hop and R&B student night. 10pm.

Livewire @ Barfly Metal. So much of it that they could open a steel factory. Probably. A dash of punk and hardcore adds season. 10pm. Free entry.

Boys Night Out / The Ghost of a Thousand / FO Machete / Kids In Glass Houses @ Barfly “I got punched in the nose for sticking my face in other people’s business” may sound like a Fallout Boy song but that’s where the similarity stops. ok… so what if these are punky / emo romps packed with handclaps and sing-along choruses, oh wait, and tales of drugs, sex, murder and mental anguish.

Have a nice night. 7.30pm. £6.

The James Taylor Quartet @ The Point James Taylor, Hammond guru, stands with one foot planted firmly in the new millennium and the other, just as firmly, somewhere south of 1970. James has consistently remained at the forefront of the jazz funk scene since his debut fifteen years ago.

JTQ’s first album in 1987, ‘Mission Impossible’, laid the foundation for what would become their signature sound: funked-up, sleazed-down, keyboard-driven jazz. For all the jazz lovers and not. 7.30pm. £13.

Aperture present/yn cyflwyno Patiffe

@ Clwb Ifor Bach Aperture present Patiffe (brazil) feat Rueben / Redeye Dan marshall Spectrum Prime. 9 pm. £5/6.

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

40 gairrhydd

SPORT

NOVEMBER.06.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

Solid Butthead leave CARBS shocked Butthead FC 4 - 2 CARBS A BRACE from each of the Butthead front two, coupled with a solid defensive effort, gave the newcomers a comfortable win over much-fancied CARBS. Butthead made the perfect start after taking an early lead within five minutes. Adam Woodward’s snapshot from eight yards found the bottom corner.

The next was the best goal of the day. Ben Keen thundered a thirty-yard half volley past the stationary goalkeeper.

Dominant Butthead heaped further misery on CARBS shortly afterwards.

On twenty minutes Woodward got his second in a farcical manner as the keeper air-kicked a back-pass, allowing the Butthead marksman to slot the ball home.

CARBS were stunned but they soon clawed their way back into the game.

Their excellent central midfield started to control possession and one of their

attacks down the left presented their centre forward with a good chance.

After the post was struck, Mark Babbage made the score 3-1.

The second half again saw CARBS controlling possession, but it was Butthead who scored first. The in-form Keen rose unmarked to power home a header from a corner. But CARBS hit back with a goal immediately. An exquisite through pass was tucked away by Mark Conlan who reduced the deficit to 4-2.

However, although the remaining 20 minutes were dominated by CARBS, they were kept at bay by the imperious Nick Harrison and the heroics of goalkeeper Jack Hall.

As a result, Butthead recorded their first ever IMG victory. Meanwhile, CARBS were left to reflect on what might have been.

Next week, Butthead entertain a high-flying AFC History side who have won both their matches so far.

Meanwhile, title-chasers CARBS will look to return to winning ways against a Law A side who have scored 20 times in their first two matches.

Law are currently second in Group C.

Dragons on fire in victory Steve Evans IMG Reporter

Dragons 3 - 0 P. Rangers

HAVANA DRAGONS secured their first win of the season and climbed to second spot in Group D, despite fielding a depleted squad.

The Dragons were without seven players in the build-up to the match against IMG newcomers Park Rangers.

But Rangers never recovered from an early setback and as a result, the Dragons cruised to a comfortable victory.

The Dragons started brightly and took the lead after just three minutes.

After a cross-field pass from Rich Leehane was flicked on by captain Amrit Labana, Baruah opened the scoring from close range.

Havana Dragons seemed to be controlling the game in the early parts of the first half and were constantly applying pressure on the Rangers defence.

And on the half hour, their dominance was rewarded. After good work down the right wing by Murtaza Zahoor, skipper Labana left the

IMG Football Results Wed 1 Nov

MOMED Zoology Japsoc Socsi

3 9 5 1

-

1 0 1 4

Pharm AC Real Ale TWNN Law B

Rangers goalkeeper rooted to the spot with a spectacular volley.

But Park Rangers responded well after falling 2-0 down. Moments before half-time, a galvanised Rangers were denied a certain goal following an excellent goal-line clearance from Paul Guttridge.

There were few chances in a scrappy second half , with Park Rangers battling hard to find an equaliser.

However, the Dragons put the result beyond doubt with 20 minutes left. When an abysmal Leehane shot was blocked, the lively Zahoor was perfectly placed to slot home a third.

Following this morale-boosting win, Havana Dragons find themselves in a Premiership position.

But with many games left, Dragons will have to extend their unbeaten start to the season when they take on struggling Inter Me-Nan next week.

Meanwhile, Park Rangers are still waiting to record their first ever IMG victory. After suffering their first defeat, Rangers lie in a dissappointing seventh place.

Yet the newcomers have the chance to rectify the situation with a win against unbeaten Chem Soc next week.

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 8 Nov

Japsoc MOMED Pharm AC TWNN

v v v v

Law B Socsi Real Ale Zoology

v v v v

Boca Seniors Gym Gym JOMEC Tank Engin

0 3 1 1

-

2 0 4 1

JOMEC Esplanyol Gym Gym Boca Seniors

Arse’Alona Economics Esplanyol Myg Myg

AFC History 12 English Soc 4 Law A 2 Butthead FC 4

-

0 3 2 2

Uni Hallstars Psycho Ath. J-Unit CARBS

AFC History CARBS English Soc Psycho Ath.

v v v v

Butthead FC Law A J-Unit Uni Hallstars

Inter Me-Nan Crusaders Chem Soc Havana Drag.

-

5 1 1 0

Thundrekatz AFC Cathays Euros Park Rangers

AFC Cathays Crusaders Chem Soc Havana Drag.

v v v v

Thunderkatz Euros Park Rangers Inter Me-Nan

Myg Myg Economics Arse’Alona Tank Engin

0 1 1 3

IMG Football

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

1

Law B

2

2

0

0

9

6

2

Zoology*

2

2

0

0

10

5

3

Socsi

2

1

0

1

12

3

4

Japsoc

2

1

0

1

1

3

5

Pharm AC

2

1

0

1

1

3

6

MOMED

2

1

0

1

1

3

7

TWNN

2

0

0

2

-10

0

8

Real Ale Madrid

2

0

0

2

-24

0

P

W

IMG Football

PHOTO: ED SALTER

Pete Evans IMG Reporter

Football Tables

BUTT: Head on it

English fail to break Law Karolyn Mandy IMG Reporter

English A 5 - 7 Law A LAW A were forced to battle hard for their third consecutive win against a determined English A side.

Following this latest win, Law A rose to the top of Group C, while English A found themselves at the foot of the pool.

But although Law grabbed the headlines and set up a crunch match against second placed CARBS B next week, English deserve credit for a spirited display.

With the score tied at 5-5 and time running out, Law A left it late to steal the points after scoring two late goals.

English started strongly and

deservedly opened the scoring in the early stages. But Law responded well and soon turned the tables to lead 3-2 at half-time.

In an evenly poised first half, the players on both sides used the space superbly and demonstrated excellent movement.

Law made a few substitutions after the break as both sides fought tirelessly for victory.

There were some great interceptions by English Wing-Defence Faye Mousley and both GoalKeepers worked hard to keep the ball out of their circle.

As goals went in at both ends, the scores were soon level as the tension began to rise. It was almost full-time when the Law shooters struck the fatal blows that condemned English A to a somewhat unlucky defeat.

menon on the match

Pts

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Economics

2

2

0

0

5

6

2

Gym Gym

2

1

1

0

3

4

3

Tank Engin

2

1

1

0

3

4

4

JOMEC*

2

1

1

0

2

3

5

Boca Seniors

2

0

2

0

0

2

6

Arse’Alona*

2

0

1

1

-3

0

7

Myg Myg

2

0

0

2

-4

0

8

Esplanyol

2

0

0

2

-6

0

P

W

IMG Football

Group C D

L

Diff

Pts

1

AFC History

2

2

0

0

19

6

2

Law A

2

1

1

0

18

4

3

CARBS

2

1

0

1

2

3

4

Butthead FC

2

1

0

1

1

3

5

Psycho Ath.

2

1

0

1

0

3

6

English Soc

2

1

0

1

-6

3

7

J-Unit

2

0

1

1

-4

1

8

Uni Hallstars

2

0

0

2

-30

0

P

W

IMG Football

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Crusaders

2

1

1

0

3

4

2

H. Dragons

2

1

1

0

3

4

3

Chem Soc

2

1

1

0

1

4

4

Thunderkatz*

2

1

0

1

4

2

5

Euros

2

0

2

0

0

2

6

AFC Cathays

2

0

2

0

0

2

7

Park Rangers

2

0

1

1

-3

1

8

Inter Me-Nan

2

0

0

2

-8

0

* Team has been deducted 1 point

Netball Tables IMG Netball

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Socsi A

3

3

0

0

39

9

2

CARBS B

3

3

0

0

12

9

3

Cardiff A

2

1

0

1

18

3

0

2

-4

3

FOOTBALL

NETBALL

4

Dynamo Tigers

3

1

NUMBER OF GOALS: 106 goals, 4.8125 goals per game WHIPPING BOYS: Uni Hallstars again, come on lads!

SURPRISE PACKAGE: Butthead FC for an impressive display against title-chasers CARBS. EPIC GAME: English Soc v Psycho livened up in the second half and the tension was high.

CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Law B, Zoology, Economics and AFC History have not dropped points yet.

TEAMS OF THE WEEK: Tough one. Butthead FC and Boca Seniors share the gong for good performances against strong opposition.

NUMBER OF GOALS: 247 goals, 19 goals per game GOLDEN GIRLS: Economics B with 28 goals in 2games SURPRISE PACKAGE: English A for putting up a fight against Law A against the odds. Well done.

EPIC GAME: English A v Law A, a close game which was decided in the closing stages.

CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Socsi A, CARBS B, Christian Union, Law A and Econ A all have 100% records.

TEAM OF THE WEEK: The award goes to Christian Union who have made a superb start following two victories this week. Heavenly stuff.

5

IWC A

2

0

0

2

-22

0

6

IWC B

3

0

0

3

-43

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Christ. Union

3

3

0

0

31

9

2

Cardiff B

3

2

0

1

9

6

3

Economics B

3

2

0

1

8

6

4

Socsi B

3

1

0

2

-8

3

5

Optometry

3

1

0

2

-12

3

6

Automotive

3

0

0

3

-28

0

P

W

IMG Netball

IMG Netball Fixtures Sat 4 Nov

Pharmacy A v Medics (11.20) Cardiff A v IWC A (12.10) English B v Gym Gym

(10.40)

Wed 8 Nov Cardiff A v Socsi A

(1.30)

Christ. Union v Optometry (3.30) Cardiff B v A’motive (4.10) Socsi B v Econ B (5.30) CARBS A v Law A (4.50) Law B v SAWSA (6.10) Economics A v Medics (2.10) English B v Pharm A (2.50)

IMG Netball Results Sat 28 Oct Optometry 5 - 11 Cardiff B Econ B 9 - 0 Automotive Socsi B 5 - 12 C. Union Economics A 17 - 6 English B Wed 1 Nov D. Tigers 8 - 11 CARBS B Socsi A 15 - 4 IWC B Automotive 6 - 16 Socsi B Christ. Union 14 - 6 Cardiff B Optometry 4 - 19 Pharm B SAWSA 5 - 11 CARBS A Pharmacy B 6 - 14 Law B English A 5 - 7 Law A Economics B 19 - 8 Locomotive

Group C D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Law A

3

3

0

0

33

9

2

CARBS A

3

3

0

1

10

9

3

Law B

3

2

0

1

22

6

4

SAWSA

3

1

0

2

-14

3

5

Pharmacy B

3

0

0

3

-25

0

6

English A

3

0

0

3

-26

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Economics A

2

2

0

0

30

6

2

Pharmacy A

2

0

0

0

28

6

3

Locomotive

2

1

0

1

3

3

4

Medics

2

1

0

1

-5

3

5

English B

2

0

0

2

-17

0

6

Gym Gym

2

0

0

2

-19

0

gairrhydd

41

SPORT

NOVEMBER.06.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

Netball upbeat after defeat Cardiff reflect on the positives following narrow loss to Bath Joanna Dingle Netball Reporter CARDIFF Ladies 1sts...............37 BATH Ladies 1sts....................55 CARDIFF FOUGHT hard against Premier Division top dogs Bath, missing out on a win by just 12 goals.

Before the match, Cardiff knew they would find the game tough: Bath are considered the strongest side in BUSA, and Cardiff were playing with a squad of eight players – with only one reserve.

However, despite being up against the BUSA champions, the Cardiff girls started the match confidently and were leading by the end of the first quarter with the score 16-12 in Cardiff’s favour.

The first half was close throughout, with only two or three goals separating the sides, but by half time, Bath had overcome Cardiff, and led by five goals.

Cardiff showed great promise with seemingly choreographed movement

STRETCH: Armstrong

of the ball in and out of the attacking circle, but Bath’s dynamicity, collective height and long, long arms were three obstacles to Cardiff lessening the goal difference between the teams.

The Bath side were powerful throughout, used the whole court space, and their shooters were very much on form.

In response, however, Cardiff’s defence were strong, and once again gelled together as a unit.

Goal Keeper, Becky Oatley, played strongly and consistently throughout, and notably in the third quarter Goal Defence, Jo Allchurch, energetically intercepted the ball and turned play around, ultimately resulting in a very much deserved Cardiff goal.

Cardiff lacked focus in the third quarter, resulting in the difference of 16 goals by the end of the 15 minutes.

But Carys Jenkins (as Centre) held the centre court together, working the ball up the court, performing some fantastic interceptions and helping to break down Bath’s formidable team play.

Meanwhile, effective teamwork in the attacking circle between Goal Shooter Sophie Vaughn and Goal

Attack Carly Allchurch converted the hard work of the centre court into a number of goals.

The final quarter saw Cardiff play up again, fighting hard. It seemed that the team had realised that a match is never over until it’s over, and they reduced the goal difference by four goals.

Although the girls did not end the game victorious, fitness coach, Gary Fish, said: “Many positives can be drawn from the game”.

Captain Carys Jenkins summed up their performance, saying: “I think we did well to only lose to the side considered favourites for the league by only a few goals.

“It was always going to be a highly competitive game, and we thoroughly enjoyed the match.”

She added: “It’s a shame we lost, but we’ll get them next time.”

This week, Cardiff Firsts will look to return to winning ways with a victory against Gloucestershire at Talybont.

Meanwhile, the Netball seconds enjoyed a more successful day after recording a 47 - 26 win at home to Glamorgan.

Paul Hayes Hockey Reporter

LONDON MET Mens 1sts...........8 CARDIFF Mens 1sts..................4 CARDIFF’S HOCKEY First XI experienced their third loss on the bounce at the hands of an impres-

sive London Metropolitan side.

The 2005 BUSA champions were stunned in the first ten minutes as Cardiff took the lead.

Tom Nicholas found himself in space on the right hand side, driving at the London left back, threading a neat pass through to Nick Gough who found a foot in the D winning the first short corner of the match.

Martyn White opened the scoring deflecting a Gough shot from the penalty corner.

But the London Met side soon began to dictate the game, winning free hits in the Cardiff half and pressuring Ian Ferguson’s goal. After a flurry of chances, the hosts finally leveled the match, scoring from a penalty corner.

Cardiff were struggling to contain their opponents, and despite some good possession found themselves 3 1 down at half time.

The second half saw some fantastic attacking hockey from both sides.

Cardiff drew first blood, as they tried to reduce the deficit.

Paul Hayes' shot was saved but Martyn White reacted first and remained composed inside the D, scoring his second of the game.

With the score at 3 - 2 Cardiff were back in the game.

However, London Met remained calm and came back at the travelling side, attacking with exceptional speed and flair - two quick goals gave the home side a 5 - 2 lead and the game looked all over.

But Cardiff showed real spirit as they battled back into the game scoring twice more, with both goals caming from the left hand side.

Nick Gough was again involved, setting up Henry Cole for his first BUSA goal of the season and then Paul Hayes scored a fourth, slotting the ball past the opposition ‘keeper after a fine individual run.

The game finished in disappointing fashion as London Met put the game past Cardiff'’s grasp, scoring three goals in the final 15 minutes, leaving the Cardiff players feeling frustrated with the result.

Vice Captain Ian Ferguson spoke to gair rhydd after the match, commenting: “We played a very good team today, played some excellent hockey but small errors cost us the match.

He added: “We are all unhappy with the result but must keep positive. We have Exeter next week at Talybont and are all confident that we can get three points.”

PHOTO: SARAH DAY

The hockey horror show On the offenc-ive CARDIFF’S FENCERS returned home triumphant from Plymouth where both the Mens Team and the Ladies Team were successful.

The men celebrated victory after Chris Markall, Pete Russell, Jon Harris and Andrew McLeod fenced an excellent first round, winning the foil 45 - 11.

After a narrow defeat of 45- 44 in sabre with a sensational final bout, the men fought back with a 45-28 victory in Epeé; making the final score an impressive 134 - 84 Cardiff win.

On the other hand, the Ladies were also victorious. Hayley Porter, Heather Fleming and Maria Ktori won 45 - 37 in Foil. After a slim 45 - 41 loss in the Epeé, the ladies won the Sabre 45 - 38; making the final score 131 - 120 to Cardiff.

After a very long day in Plymouth, the teams look forward to this week where the men will fence Newport, while the ladies will be up against Southampton at Talybont.

42 gairrhydd

SPORT

NOVEMBER.06.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Football fright Ed Pitchforth Sports Reporter

CARDIFF Mens 1sts..................0

BATH Mens 1sts.......................2

TWO LATE goals condemned the Mens’ Football First XI to their third successive defeat as their poor start to the season continued against Bath’s second side.

In a scrappy opening period, Cardiff looked like a side struggling for confidence I.t was no surprise that Bath created the first chance with a glancing header which flashed wide of the post.

Ten minutes in and Cardiff goalkeeper Cole Stacey was called into action for the first time, when he emerged rapidly from his goaline to save at the feet of a Bath forward.

Cardiff continued to labour and

looked particularly vulnerable from set pieces as Bath’s tall left back was twice allowed space at the near post, flicking on the first cross, and rattling the Cardiff woodwork with his second effort.

The pressure was mounting as Stacey was forced into another good save after a cross from the left found the same player at the far post.

Cardiff eventually settled, however they continued to look hurried in possession, and had to wait until 30 minutes were on the clock before creating their first meaningful chance.

A swift break down the right wing allowed Andre Stairmand time to pick out Eifion Roberts, whose well struck volley went narrowly over the bar.

Roberts then took advantage of confusion in the Bath defence to break through and round the keeper, but saw the opportunity slip away as a Bath defender swept in to clear.

The deadlock was almost broken in

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

the opening exchanges of the second half when Roberts converted Jarvis’s through ball, only to see the offside flag raised.

Both sides continued to work hard without creating anything of note until the 65th minute when Cardiff keeper Stacey pulled of a smart save to keep out a low shot.

Bath threatened regualrly, with their striker firing over when well placed, and then being denied a goal scoring chance by a superb sliding tackle from left-back James Clifford.

Eventually the pressure told when a Bath player bundled home the opener from a free kick; punishing Cardiff’s repeatedly poor defending from set pieces.

The home side pushed forward in search of an equaliser, but their inability to retain possession meant they never looked like getting back into the game.

The result was put beyond doubt in

FOOTBALL: Limted Options the last minute, as the impressive Bath 10 was given space to shoot and promptly found the bottom corner from 25 yards out.

Another defeat leaves Cardiff still searching for their first points in the BUSA 1A league, and hoping for an improved display next Wednesday.

Early Bath Cardiff never looked back, with three more tries before the interval.

Bath came back from the restart with a try, but any hopes of a secCARDIFF Medics Mens 2nds...64 ond half comeback were dashed as Wallis skipped over to convert one Bath Mens 4ths......................15 of his own. The forwards were really starting to dominate the game, CARDIFF MEDICS Seconds constricting Bath upfront. One to proved to be the early season eight were combining with verve pacesetters in BUSA 3B and aggression to give Bath’s backline a torrid afternoon, Sharvill and Western Conference.

Bath were the visitors to Jolley were particularly impressive.

Points continued to flow up to Llanrumney in the Medics latest fixture, and Cardiff came out at the final whistle as Cardiff rang the breakneck speed setting about their changes but kept their discipline task as if the bacon was burning. An and structure. Man of the Match open game from the start, both Gareth Jones claimed his deserved packs committed themselves in the hat-trick and Necro and Sullivan rounded things off. tight exchanges.

Only two players of the original Cardiff’s midfield were first to carve out an opening and Andrew starting 15 were on the pitch at the Volleyani duely converted the end, and after the game, captain James Shoe was preaching the chance, scoring under the posts.

In the first 20 minutes, Bath were importance of this strength in depth, living with Cardiff’s powerful which Cardiff will need if they are rugby and crossed for a try of their to win this league and gain promoown through their dynamic prop, tion.

The Medics have a perfect nine who scored all their points and probably should have been given points and sit with Glamorgan 2nds at the top of the table. However, the kicking duties as well.

Cardiff had to wait until the half with key players Volleyani (Ankle) hour mark for their next points; a and Paul Austin (shoulder) picking charge down by the scrum half up injuries, Shoe will hope they Hopkins enabled Tom Richards to recover quickly ahead of next flop over the line. From here week’s game.

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

Jack Zorab Rugby Reporter

RUGBY: Four On One

Aber-Ruined

Angharad Jones Rugby Reporter

CARDIFF Ladies 1sts...............89 ABERYSWYTH Ladies 1sts.........0

CARDIFF LADIES First team capitalised on perfect playing conditions to dominate Aberyswyth, scoring an amazing 15 tries and 89 points without reply on their way to victory.

Cardiff looked strong from the offset and took the lead after just three minutes, as winger Suzanne Coward crossed in her first appearance of the

season.

The visitor’s defensive line looked shaky throughout, repeatedly allowing Cardiff the time and space to create overlaps. This allowed first half tries from full-back Nicola Skehan, flanker Louise Steel, scrum-half Ceri Hill, centre Simone Shephard and a pair from winger Roz Lambe. Captain Shephard added four conversions to make the half-time score an impressive 48 - 0.

Following the interval, the home side seemed determined to work the score-board and ruthlessly asserted pressure on a disheartened Aberystwyth side.

A further two tries were added in

the opening ten minutes through centre Emily Shephard and a second of the match for Coward.

Despite their dominant position, Cardiff never let up and, in the 55th minute, second year lock Nikki Bamber got her first try for the team, powering through a beleaguered Aber defence following a superb off-load out of the tackle by Ceri Hill.

Coward soon completed her hattrick and fly-half Kat Lenan grabbed two herself within minutes of each other to put Cardiff over the 80-point mark.

The scoring was rounded off by Kerry Boxhall in the 73rd minute and it was a case of fourth time lucky for

the hooker, who bagged her first try of the season after already having three disallowed this year.

Centre Shephard converted three more times in the second half taking her personal tally to 19-points, making the full time score a comprehensive 89-0.

After the match, Aberyswyth captain Ruth Wilkinson heaped praise on the winners, commenting: “Cardiff are a very good team, the match was a fantastic learning curve for us all.”

However Cardiff captain Shephard

played down the emphatic winning margin, stating that: “We did enough to secure victory and played some good rugby,” adding that she believes the team has “plenty more to give.”

Cardiff have sent a clear message to the rest of their BUSA rivals that they have the ability and determination to win the league and gain promotion this season.

They remain undefeated in the run up to what will possibly be their hardest match of the year, away to Gloucestershire next week.

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NOVEMBER.06.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM PHOTO: SARAH DAY

Bath dunked down

Flying high Charles Austin Badminton Reporter SWANSEA Mens 2nds...............1 CARDIFF Mens 2nds.................7 CARDIFF BADMINTON Seconds sit at the top of BUSA 2B, following a crushing defeat of Swansea on their travels.

The match-up dawned with the team anxious to avenge the first team’s disappointing loss the previous week, at the hands of Swansea firsts.

Determined not to be overshadowed, the team was quietly optimistic; squad member Tom Houdmont remarked: “I was feeling apprehensive after the demoralizing blow last week.

But caution was thrown to the wind after an inspirational speech by Jessie Scharf.”

The side promptly corrected the scorecard with rivals Swansea, as the side powered to a 7-1 victory. First blood was drawn by Charlie Austin winning 21-8, 21-8 and after that the rest was purely academic. Man of the match was awarded to fresher Vinnie Sanderson, who on his debut worked his socks off and gained two valuable games with his partner.

BUSA Cardiff Ladies 1sts 82 Bath Ladies 1sts

19

WOMEN: Shooting some B-Ball outside of school Scott D’Arcy Sports Reporter CARDIFF WERE looking to bounce this week after losing to Bristol in their last game, and did so with a strong display, despite some rough tactics by Bath.

Cardiff won the jump and went on to score the first basket, asserting themselves immediately with a good run from Cardiff’s Morgan.

Bath struggled to get their shooting on target and their physical play was a by-product of their frustration.

Cardiff’s defence was also sturdy in gathering the rebounds and Bath sometimes let emotion get the better of them.

After some efficient scoring by Cardiff captain Gough, who Bath struggled to contain throughout, the score line looked ominous for Bath, who trailed 20 – 5 at the end of the first quarter.

There was no let up after the

43

brief break as Cardiff pressed Bath hard into their own half; both Mui and Csanjinshan did well in disrupting their opponent’s movement and passing.

The second period saw more missed opportunities for Bath as the hosts defended the key defiantly. Good vision and long range passing allowed Cardiff to steal in with some easy lay-ups, talking advantage of the space left on the court by their opponents.

The match was becoming increasingly ill tempered, as Bath captain Stacey Dyson started to lose her cool over some of the refereeing decisions that did not go her way.

Cardiff refused to be bullied and set about racking up a big score as baskets were slotted in from almost every player.

Gough was outstanding, scoring a huge 18 points to really lead her team on. Some good movement in the key midway through the third quarter set the tall power forward free just outside the area and she

netted the first three of the day.

This was the icing on the cake for Cardiff who had a very strong third quarter, outscoring their opponents to make the lead an unassailable 61 - 17 going into the final quarter.

While Cardiff kept the pressure on, Bath crumbled and were toothless up front only scoring two points and missing all their free throws.

In contrast, the home side scored 21 points, including possibly the best individual play of the game as Cardiff’s Savio made a skilful drive to the basket, dancing through Bath’s defence to score with a lay-up.

Cardiff coach Tony Hinchley was pleased with the performance stating “Our work in training showed through and we played some good basketball in response to their physical play.”

Cardiff will look to continue this form next week against Aberystwyth, who lie below Cardiff on points difference in BUSA 1A.

Results from Wed November 1 M Badminton 1 4 - 4 Bath 2 W Badminton 1 - 7 Bath Swansea 2 1 - 7 M Badminton 2 W Basketball 82 - 19 Bath Bournemouth 85 - 58 M Basketball Plymouth 85 - 135 M Fencing Plymouth 120 - 131 W Fencing M AFC 1 0 - 2 Bath 2 M AFC 2 2 - 0 Exeter 2 M AFC 3 1 - 3 Bath 3 M AFC 4 2 - 4 Swansea 3 M AFC 5 3 - 0 Glamorgan 5 Marjons L - L W AFC 1 Golf 1 1 - 5 Bath 1 Golf 2 2 - 4 Bath 2 M Hockey 2 1 - 1 Bath 4 M Hockey 3 2 - 2 M Hockey 4 London Met 8 - 4 M Hockey 1 W Hockey 2 1 - 4 UWIC 2 Southampton 1 0 - 4 W Hockey 1 Gloucester 3 0 - 6 W Hockey 3 Cambridge 20 - 3 Lacrosse Netball 1 37 - 55 Bath Netball 2 47 - 26 Glamorgan 1 Netball 3 33 - 44 UWIC 3 Solent 2 43 - 17 Netball 4 W Rugby 89 - 0 Aberyswyth Bath 1 34 - 24 M Rugby 1 UWIC 4 45 - 10 M Rugby 2 Swansea 3 L - L M Rugby 3 Swansea 2 0 - 5 M Squash 1 Aberyswyth 1 5 - 0 M Squash 2 Bath 2 4 - 0 W Squash M Tennis 2 - 8 Bath 2 Medics M AFC 2 3 - 7 Glamorgan 4 Glamorgan 2 2 - 5 Medics M AFC 1 Medics M Hockey 2 -- 0 Bristol 4 Medics W Hockey 2 L - L Trinity 1 Gloucester 2 4 - 1 Medics W Hockey Medics M Rugby 1 24 - 27 Imperial Medics M Rugby 2 64 - 15 Bath 4 Glamorgan 2 0 - 5 Medics Squash

Open Gôl GÔL, WALESS’ first purpose-built 5-a-side centre, is offering free pitch hire to students on Wednesday November 8 and Sunday November 11 between 1 and 4pm.

The offer is designed to encourage the setting up of student 5-aside leagues which are expected to begin in the next few weeks.

Teams that join the league will also be entitled to future off-peak hire at the greatly reduced rate of £10 per hour.

As the leagues grow, employment opportunities as referees, paying £7 an hour, will also be offered to students.

It is hoped that women’s leagues will also be developed.

Gôl Director Gwilym Boore said “We already have a large number of students enjoying our regular leagues.

“We hope that these student-dedicated leagues will encourage their further participation at the centre.”

Gôl is Wales’ premier football facility and employs a third-generation artificial surface as used by Real Madrid.

This means that the pitches are never waterlogged or frozen and the ball behaves as it does on natural turf.

The crumb infill offers protection against the friction burns normally associated with artificial surfaces.

To book your free court call 0870 168 8989. You can also visit www.golcentres.co.uk for more information about the facility.

SEND IN YOUR BUSA AND IMG REPORTS sport@gairrhydd.com Your reports are more likely to be printed if a large picture is attached to the email.

Match report style guides are also available from Sport editors Dave Menon and George Pawley to help you write the perfect article.

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INSIDE: Cardiff Ladies’ Rugby and Basketball clean up and the Full Deloitte IMG Breakfast

PHOTOS: MATT HORWOOD

PHOTOS: MATT HORWOOD

Big boys struggle in BUSA Newly promoted men continue to struggle as rugby, hockey and football all lose their third consecutive games George Pawley Sports Editor THREE OF Cardiff’s most prestigious BUSA clubs have yet to register a point, evidently struggling to settle into new leagues following promotion last season.

Men’s rugby, hockey and football firsts are continuing to falter, each losing three games in a row at the start of their campaigns, denting hopes of consolidation following last year’s successes.

In the most recent round of BUSA fixtures, the rugby XV fell in a narrow 34 – 24 loss on their travels against Bath, hockey suffered a 8 – 4 defeat at the hands of London Metropolian and football suffered a 2 – 0 home defeat versus Bath 2nds.

The results leave the sides in the mire at the bottom of their respective leagues at the halfway stage of the BUSA round one.

The rugby firsts, playing for the first time in the BUSA Premier, have perhaps had the most encouraging start of the three clubs.

Losing against UWIC due to poor kicking and a degree of complacency, then suffering a heavy reversal against a dominant Hartpury, does not reflect the type of rugby they have produced so far.

Despite their start, head of rugby Martyn

Fowler has maintained that once his side claim their first win, they will start to make progress in the division, saying: “Our phase play has been some of the best I’ve seen in my time at Cardiff, it’s all about getting a win which will allow us to relax into games.”

“We have tended to panic in the latter stages - the size and physicality of this league is what we have struggled to deal with.”

Meanwhile, the Hockey team went down against 2005 BUSA Champions London Met last week, but have played some hockey reminiscent of last year’s performances, which saw them take the Welsh Cup amongst their triumphs.

First team captain Paul Hayes believes that life in the BUSA Premier is all about experience.

He said: “This season we have encountered some really good sides, containing quality, international players – it is a big step up from last year.”

“However, we are improving game by game, it’s just little mistakes that are costing us. At this level, any errors are punished.

“We have had some tough fixtures, travelling to London twice and our next games are crucial.”

After suffering a 12 – 0 thrashing in their opening game against Hartpury, the men’s

CARDIFF 1sts BATH 2nds AFC have struggled with form and confidence in the face of some heady opposition.

It appears that luck has evaded them this season; slender defeats against Gloucestershire and last week’s opponents Bath could easily have seen the 1sts lying in a very different position in BUSA 1A. Team Captain Andy Wylde has admitted his side are low on self-belief: “We have a lot of players who thrive on confidence and we have been failing to captialise on our possession and simply haven’t been taking our chances to bury teams when presented with the opportunities.”

The standard of the league can also explain

0 0

the side’s poor start to the season according to Wylde: “Our play has been of a high tempo, but we have faced well drilled opponents.”

All three sides have clearly struggled to adapt into their new environments, perhaps mostly due to a lack of experience in closing games when ahead, or failing to contain the opposition in the latter exchanges.

It appears the elusive first win will be vital, and the point at which it is attained crucial, in order to recover from the nightmare starts the teams have suffered.

In the pick of next week’s games, football will hope to turn the table on local rivals UWIC.

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