Gair Rhydd - Issue 828

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ISSUE 828 NOVEMBER 20 2006

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

Page 16

Page 9

PHOTOS: JO DINGLE

Hollie Clemence asks, was Jon Snow right not to wear a poppy?

Features go marching about climate change

OUT WITH THE OLD? As plans for the new Union building go into the next stage, the executive ask, what do you want to see in it?

FAMILIAR SIGHTS: But will they soon be a thing of the past?

Adam Millward News Editor The Students’ Union could be a very different place in five years time if plans to build new premises go ahead.

The Union and University are in discussions about the future of the current building and, to ensure that any new building includes suitable facilities for students, the Union have launched a campaign to find out what they want in it.

Vice-President Ed Jones believes that now is the ideal time for Cardiff University students to ‘have their say’ on the future of the Students’ Union.

He said: “In the coming weeks and months, the Students’ Union will be making a new concerted effort to get as many of Cardiff University’s 25,000 students involved in the Union as possible.

“It would be easy to collect the opinions of the students currently using the Union on a regular basis, but we want to gain a broader perspective targeting all students, including part time, international and mature students.

“Our challenge is to find out what

students think is currently working and what they think could be improved. It is a question of what, ideally, they would like the central purpose of the Union building to be.

“Whether this purpose is predominantly social, focussed upon bars and clubs; an environment geared to learning and welfare, with an extensive library; or even retail, like a shopping mall with the Students’ Union Office on the top – we need to know!”

Despite last year’s Students’ Union President, Pete Goodman, claiming that: “the next 12 months will be extremely exciting”, very little action on the new building plans appears to have taken place to date, despite being announced last June.

The issue of what should go in the new building was discussed by students for the first time at Student Council last week.

This week, Ed Jones and other Union representative will be visiting lectures to find out what students want in their new union.

If you have a view about the future of the Students’ Union building, log on to www.cardiffstudents.com and have your say in the ‘new building forum’.

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Unanimously green

At

a glance

November 20 2006 News 1 Editorial & Opinion 9 Politics 12 Interviews 14 Letters 15 Features 16 Jobs & Money 16 Health 20 Science/Environment 21 Media 22 Taf-Od 23 Television 25 Problem Page 33 Five Minute Fun 35 Grab 37 Listings 38 Sport 40 EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV John, TV Neil, TV Jane, TV John LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD Huw Pritchard SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MINUTE FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITORS James Perou, Sarah Day SUB EDITOR Cathal McMahon ONLINE EDITOR Paul Springett PROOF READERS Kieran Harwood, Aisling Tempany, Alys Jones, Jenna Weeks, Sarah Murrey, Lorna Hull, Philip Jones, Bryony Tallack CONTRIBUTORS Joanne Dingle, Charlie Nicholls, Ruth Mansfield, Sebastian Cooke, James Stileman, Caleb Woodbridge, Adam Gasson, Anna Staples, Emma Jones, Lee Macaulay, Abigail Whittaker, Angela Pook, Huw Thomas, Jessica Hart, Aletta Andre, Corrine Rhaodes, Victoria Lane, Samantha Shillabeer, Hollie Clemence, Lorna Hull, Tim Hewish, Hector Roddan, Yousar Jafar, John Dunster, Tom Szczebiot, Nick Fitrzyk, Adam Gibson, Gareth Owen, Ed Salter, Matt Horwood, George Pawley, Oliver Bennett, Rebecca Isles, David Pruett, Tim Mohan, Ed Pitchforth, Julia Housden-Slann, Kelen Jones, Laura Hinson, Brychan Govier, Frank Nally, Angharad Jones ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

Fundamentalists infiltrate universities Charlie Nicholls Reporter AT LEAST four British universities have been infiltrated by Islamic extremists intent on radicalising Muslim students, it has been claimed.

Fundamentalists have been bypassing campus bans on groups with radical links by presenting themselves as ordinary Muslims or forming societies with different names.

These claims have been made by Sheikh Musa Admani who runs a charity which sends teams to campuses to tackle indoctrination and to rehabilitate young men.

“We are dealing with people filled with hatred,” said Admani.

“It’s hatred for the white man and the West in particular.”

It is said that some students have been so deeply indoctrinated that they are close to travelling to Afghanistan

and Iraq to engage in holy war.

Recent events at some universities seem to support Admani’s claims. Up to ten students at Brunel University are being “deradicalised” by a case worker from Admani’s charity, the Luqman Institute of education and development.

The case worker explained students “are watching Jihadi videos and might be listening to different sheiks encouraging Jihad”.

Earlier this year the Islamic society at Sheffield Hallam University hosted a lecture by Sheikh Khalid Yasin, an American preacher who favours the death penalty for homosexuals.

Most worryingly Shakeel Begg, another radical cleric, recently urged students at Kingston University to wage jihad in Palestine. In a taperecorded speech obtained by The Sunday Times, Begg, who is a Muslim chaplain at Goldsmiths College, part of London University, said: “You want to

make Jihad? Very good… take some money and go to Palestine and fight, fight the terrorists, fight the Zionist.”

When questioned on the matter, Sheffield Hallam University denied that extremists were operating on their campuses.

A Brunel University spokesperson said: “The safety of our students and staff is paramount, as is the security of our campus. We will look into the [Luqman] Institute’s claims and respond accordingly.”

Admani’s claims come amid warnings from Dame Eliza ManninghamBuller, the head of MI5, about the extent of the threat faced by home grown Islamic extremists. She said her security services had identified 200 terrorist networks involving at least 1,600 people here in the UK. She believes that it is young people who are being specifically targeted and that educational institutions have a responsibility to be vigilant.

STUDENT COUNCIL has passed a proposal promoting environmental awareness and green issues within the Union.

The Environmental Policy was unanimously passed at Students’ Council last week.

The policy aims to encourage closer relations between the Union and the University as a whole to promote environmentally friendly actions, such as energy saving and recycling, as well as supporting societies running environmental campaigns.

One of the key issues discussed was the issue of recycling within the Union. One of the councillors suggested that recycling bins be made available around the building, notably on the Union steps, where flyers are often discarded, wasting paper and creating a shameful amount of litter.

Make a fresh tie Ruth Mansfield Reporter CARDIFF STUDENTS are being urged to help other aspiring students in the community through their computer Aimhigher, Greater Merseyside, has linked up with the national community web service, ‘Fresh Ties’, to allow students to enter their information and experiences into a student profile or web page.

Now education initiatives are encouraging Cardiff students to join in by offering a limited number of free FreshTies memberships.

“The idea behind FreshTies is to make it easier to help the community,” said its founder Ashish Poddar.

Students can join FreshTies for free.

To get more information about the schemevisit www.freshties.com.

Hidden London treasures to go on display Sebastian Cooke Reporter A VAST COLLECTION of paintings, books and other artifacts, owned by the University College London is to go on display.

The works feature pieces by Rembrandt, Stanley Spencer and George Orwell, and attractions such as fragments of the world’s first calendar and the largest collection of Romanperiod mummy portraits.

They will be put on public display in a £27 million, eight-storey museum due to open in Bloomsbury, London in 2010.

Sally MacDonald, director of museums and collections at UCL said: “University collections are one of the nations best-kept secrets.”

She believed it was “a terrible shame” that they often couldn’t be shared with more people.

Binge drinking time bomb

Latest figures indicate that bingerelated deaths are on the rise James Stileman Reporter DISTURBING FIGURES indicate there is likely to be a significant rise in the number of deaths resulting from binge drinking.

The Office for National Statistics claims the number of people killed by alcohol-related diseases has doubled since the 1990s.

Similar Welsh figures show that alcohol-related deaths have more than doubled from 4,144 in 1991 to 8,386 in 2005, with men aged between 35 and

54 showing the biggest rise.

Helen Mary Jones, Assembly Minister for Plaid Cymru, believes that action needs to be taken immediately.

She said: “We’d want to look at the banning of advertising of alcohol, especially advertisements targeting young people.

“Although the figures show older groups are the most affected, these people will have begun their disease when they were in their teens and 20s.”

Cardiff University’s Professor John Shepherd added: “Today’s heavy binge drinker is going to be emerging in his late 30s and early 40s with serious alcohol-related problems.

“Young people in the UK are now drinking more often, and in greater quantities than previously.”

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PHOTO: ANNA STAPLES

The NUS calls for ‘lads’ mags’ to be pulled from Union shelves

THE NATIONAL Union of Students has called for ‘lads’ mags’ to be put behind the counter, calling them ‘demeaning to women’.

The NUS criticised the ‘overtly sexual’ front pages of the magazines, and has called on students’ unions to take titles such as Nuts and Zoo off their shelves.

But not all students support the move. Leicester’s The Ripple student newspaper is leading a campaign against the voluntary ban, and has gathered more than 200 signatures in

an online petition.

Tom Goodwyn, editor of the paper, said campus outlets should be able to stock the magazines where they want.

He said: “Having to buy them from behind the counter is a bit dirty old man-ish.”

Leicester Students’ Union defended their decision to move lad’s mags off the shelves.

Vice-President Aaron Porter said: “We appreciate it is exceptionally difficult to draw the line, but felt that we had struck a fair balance… our decision was overwhelmingly supported

by Union Council, the governing body of the Students’ Union.”

Earlier this year, new guidelines

were drawn up between the National Federation of Retail Newsagents and the Home Office.

They advise that magazines with sexual content should be displayed out of the sight of children, but are not legally binding.

Labour MP Claire Curtis-Thomas introduced a Bill calling for magazines such as Nuts, Zoo and FHM to be confined to the top shelf in the Commons in July.

Kat Stark, NUS national women’s officer, said: “Ultimately, unions adopting the policy is voluntary.

However, the NUS is pleased to report that a few unions have already made the move.”

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PHOTOS: ANNA STAPLES

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A Nuts crack down?

Caleb Woodbridge Reporter

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Helen Thompson News Editor

TWO BESOTTED students have married only 20 days after they met at the Union’s Societies Fayre.

PHD student Maryam Aszal had only seen her ‘dream guy’ three times before he proposed to her via email.

24-year-old Mahdi Danghani, who moved to Britain from Iran five months ago, was wandering around the societies fair when he came across the Iranian society.

Maryam, 23, the society’s treasurer, told him to ‘sign or go’ when he took his time deciding whether to join.

She said: “It was Ramadan, so I was fasting at the time, and I was in a really bad mood.”

Determined to meet Mahdi again, Maryam emailed him about society events to persuade him to attend.

She said: “After a lot of emailing, he wrote that he’d like to get to know me and my family better. I asked what he meant, and he said he’d like to propose marriage!”

Mahdi, a postgraduate engineering student, said: “As soon as she opened her mouth she settled in my heart. I’d never met anyone like her before.”

When Maryam’s parents told her brother of the engagement, he drove from London to Cardiff to try to change her mind. A few hours later, he was filming the wedding.

The couple went to pray at the Iranian centre in Cathays on the evening of October 15.

HAPPY COUPLE: Maryam and Mahdi They asked a clergyman to She make their engagement official, admitted but Maryam decided to go a step furthat her parents ther and marry Mahdi on the spot, at were shocked by the speed of the deci2.30am.

She said: “I thought: ‘If we’re going sion. “At first they were cautious about to get married in the end anyway, why it being so quick, but now they think he’s great.” not just do it now?’”

Maryam said it wasn’t love at first Maryam’s friends learned of the marriage through rumours, as she had sight: “We got off on the wrong foot to not had time to tell them she even had start with. But now I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of.” a boyfriend.

THE TAF’S BAR manager left his Aston Martin behind on Friday when he walked to work for Children in Need.

Keith Owen, the man who runs all the bars in the Union, did the 26 mile walk from Brigdgend to Park Place in a James Bond style tuxedo provided by Moss Bros, to coincide with the release of Casino Royale, the new Bond film.

The day before he set off he was asked whether or not he was prepared for the weather conditions. He said: “It’s probably going to rain tomorrow, but I’m not going to wear a raincoat because would Bond be caught dead in one?.”

Keith is hoping to raise around £300 for Children in Need, and also run a number of charity events in the Taf over the weekend.

If you wish to sponsor Keith, ask how to do so at one of the Union bars.

PHOTO: ADAM GASSON

Whirlwind romance at From Bridgend the societies fayre with love

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Kids in America AMERICAN UNIS: Educating the British

Emma Jones Reporter

A TOP AMRICAN university has reported a significant increase in the number of applications from UK students.

Princeton University, who came 10th in the latest Times Higher Education Supplement ranking of world universities, noticed a 64% rise in applications from UK students, stating that 100 Brits had applied this year, compared with 61 last year.

Janet Rapelye, admissions dean at Princeton, told a conference at the Wellington College in Berkshire that top US universities could fund generous student support packages.

She also said that the benefits of US universities were “overwhelming”, listing better teaching resources, better accommodation, better extra-curricular activities and the breadth and flexibility of study in the US as just some of the advantages.

Master of Wellington, Dr Anthony Seldon, said: “British schools are beginning to lose faith in UK universities.”

He added: “There are increasing reasons for our students to regard the US and UK universities as competing options.”

This is primarily because of the financial support US universities can offer, in contrast to the costly £3,000a-year tuition fees in the UK. Ivy League institutions, such as Harvard, stress that pupils from modest backgrounds may find US universities more affordable than the UK alternative.

They are keen to publicise their policy of waiving fees for parents with an income of less than £32,000-a-year.

Meanwhile, high-profile cases, such as those of Laura Spence and Euan Blair, who were both offered hefty scholarships to study in America, have shown British youngsters that they, too, could choose to study in the US.

James Stileman Reporter PEACE PROTESTERS barricaded themselves inside Cardiff Castle’s keep last Wednesday.

Dee Murphy, Bob Coterill and Keith Ross occupied the tourist attraction at 1.30pm on Wednesday October 15.

They were attempting to draw attention to the occupation of land in Palestine which they claim is being ignored by the public and the media.

The police were soon called,

and as a precautionary method the castle staff were told to exclude the public from the keep area.

Chief Supt. Bob Evans said the protest did appear to be entirely peaceful.

He said: “We acknowledge the right to peaceful protest, but it must be noted that this is a valuable ancient monument of considerable public interest.”

Peace activist Helen Williams handed out leaflets outside the castle indicating the purpose of the demonstration.

She said: “It’s a symbolic ges-

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

Kings of the castle

ture occupying the keep of Cardiff Castle. We want to bring the public’s attention to the plight of the Palestinians and what they are going through. It’s a perfectly peaceful protest. It’s all non-violent.”

The three protesters initially claimed that they would stay for several days, however their demonstration ended at around 5pm following negotiations with the police.

The protesters were arrested once they left the keep. No damage was caused to the castle.

Alien nation

Cardiff University Professor makes claim that life did not originate on earth James Stileman Reporter

NOT OF THIS EARTH: Prof Wickramasinghe

CARDIFF University Professor Chandra Wickramasinghe, Director of the Cardiff Centre for Astrobiology, was the focus of a BBC Horizon special called ‘We Are the Aliens’.

Professor Wickramasinghe said: “The Earth is but a minute speck of dust in the context of the truly vast,

nearly infinite universe.

“I think the first origin of life must have involved the combined resources of all the stars in a substantial part of the cosmos.”

The BBC programme follows Professor Wickramasinghe in Cardiff and India whilst exploring his theory that life was introduced to Earth by comets.

‘We Are the Aliens’ was broadcast on BBC2, Tuesday, November 14.

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Cathays burning PHOTO: HUW THOMAS

Man arrested following suspected arson attack on Mosque Lee Macaulay Reporter A MAN being questioned by police over a suspected arson attack on a Cathays mosque has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act. A South Wales Police spokes-

woman said: “A 36-year-old man arrested by police yesterday in relation to the fire at the Madina Mosque has been sectioned at the Royal Glamorgan Hospital under section 2 of the Mental Health Act.” A quarter of the building on Woodville Road was demolished by the fire and this means the building

is currently unusable.

This has left almost 500 worshippers desperately seeking somewhere for their Friday prayers.

Police are continuing their search for witnesses and anyone with information has been asked to call the Cardiff incident room on 02920 222111.

PHOTO: JO DINGLE

Staff racism in universities Angela Pook Reporter

Medical students face massive debts following expensive education in Britain

Short changed Abigail Whittaker Reporter AVERAGE DEBT for a final-year medical student is now in excess of £21,000, according to new figures.

This is £1,000 more than the basic annual salary of a junior doctor.

A survey of 2,000 medical students conducted by the British Medical

Association also concluded that debt levels had increased since last year, and are expected to rise significantly following the introduction of top-up fees.

Emily Rigby of the BMA’s medical students committee commented: “The government has said it wants to widen participation in medicine. It will fail in this aim unless it takes action to tackle the financial pressures facing medical

students.

“Becoming a doctor should be about your commitment to medicine, not the amount of money you are prepared to borrow.”

The BMA is calling for means-tested NHS bursaries and access to hardship funds to be made more widely available.

They claim that the rising debt levels have contributed to a social imbal-

ance among medical students, with those from poorer backgrounds discouraged from training for the profession.

However, Natalie Williams, a second-year medic remarked: “Medicine is a lifelong venture. Despite the large debt initially, it is important to bear in mind that in the long-term you will be rewarded not only financially, but also on a much more personal level.”

COLLEGES AND Universities are failing ethnic minority staff a lecturers’ union has warned.

According to the University and College Union, little has changed in higher education institutions since the Race Relations Amendment Act (RRAA) four years ago.

The act deemed racial discrimination to be unacceptable and outlawed it in public authorities. It also stated that public bodies would have a general duty to promote race equality and “good relations” between people of different racial groups.

In an attempt to rectify the situation the union are holding a conference in which they will debate ways to improve the performance of colleges and universities. They will also be launching a campaign to help employers in higher education speed up the implementation of the RRAA. The Union is currently working with the Commission for Racial Equality to promote good employment practice and a joint project will identify areas of non-compliance for a report at the beginning of next year.

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Any harm in arms?

A week after gair rhydd reveals that the University could be investing in arms manufacturers, we ask: are you bothered about it?

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n’t should rsities invest. But e iv n U o “ uld at have t really o so they sho ething a d m o y s e h t not as vest in least inre moral ands bit mo versial; arm bit of a contro acturers are manuf decision.” stupid

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Do foreign students mingle?

STUDENTS: Hanging out together

Jessica Hart Reporter

FOREIGN students at UK universities rate their courses highly but aren’t mixing with the locals, a new poll has found.

Out of 641 foreign students, just 27 per cent said that they mixed with British people socially.

In the poll, issued by the council for international education, the majority agreed that they found the British students friendly and welcoming but they were more likely to mix with people from their own countries or other overseas students.

An Italian student at Cardiff University said: “A big problem with socialising is language.

“My English isn’t very good and it makes it hard to talk to English students.”

Another problem cited by the poll was money troubles; more than half had sought part-time work and a third had found jobs but a third also had money troubles due to the living costs being higher than expected.

The report on the poll recommended universities arrange social activities such as sports or trips to break down the barriers between English students and foreign students.

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ld ersity shou “The univmaking their to in not look ts ethical, investmenbanking. It’s just their a bad thing. obviously ld hire new They shou t managers.” investmen

One company invested in is BAE systems, which is currently under investigation by the Serious Fraud Office allegedly for corruption and bribery in their dealings with many countries’ governments.

One of these countries is Saudi Arabia, a country with a record of atrocious human rights abuses.

They are also alleged to have paid General Pinochet, ex-dictator of Argentina a ‘special commission’ of £1 million to take their business.

There seems to be no change in the adoption of an ethical investment policy for the University, however.

This week a University spokesman said: “The University has a range of ethical practices including the decision to place its main bank accounts with the Cooperative Bank.

“As was correctly stated in response to the Freedom of Information request, the University does not have an overall ethical investment policy.”

LAST WEEK gair rhydd reported on the University’s investments in arms manufacturers, and this week we were out to see what students think.

Cardiff University hold indirect investments in arms company manufacturers, which means their investments are managed by an external manager. Because of this type of management, when gair rhydd initially asked the University if they had shares in arms industries, they denied that they owned any.

Under the Freedom of Information act, the Campaign Against the Arms Trade (CAAT) group requested details of any shares owned by the University out of the top ten arms manufacturers in the UK. As of August 10 the University owned almost £170,000 in two companies.

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PHOTO: ALETTA ANDRE

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James Stileman Reporter

INTERVIEWS: James Stileman PHOTOS: Aletta Andre

6

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Union gets green fingers Joanna Dingle News Editor THE SABBATICAL Officers of the Students’ Union have dug deep and got their hands dirty in support of a new campaign.

The team, in conjunction with Student Volunteering Cardiff, have adopted the Temple of Peace Memorial Gardens in Cathays Park as part of the “adopt-a-garden” scheme.

They spent an afternoon in the garden in the run-up to Remembrance Sunday, pruning and tidying.

The Keep Cardiff Tidy campaign, which is being run as the city competes for Britain’s cleanest award

TRIMMING HER BUSH: Kate Monagahan 2007, encourages local students, residents and businesses to get involved and help tidy up the city.

Union President, Joe Al-Khayat, said: “Not only is this a chance for us to highlight and add to the Students’ Union’s contribution to the communi-

ty, it was terrific fun being out in the fresh air and getting our hands dirty for a terrific cause.

“We’re extremely pleased to have been able to help” The Officers will revisit the Temple of Peace garden throughout the year.

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Is air guitar a thing of the past?

Corrine Rhoades Reporter A GROUP of Australian scientists have engineered a top which allows air-guitarists to rock in real life.

Would-be musicians will soon be able to take their skills to the next level with the invention of the air-guitar Tshirt.

The shirt, described as a “wearable instrument shirt”, has brought computer, music and textile industries together to make an air-guitarist’s musical dreams reality.

The t-shirt is the brainchild of Dr Richard Helmer and his team who placed sensors in the elbows to monitor arm movements when its wearer pretends to strum.

Wireless signals are then sent to a computer which produces a guitar riff without the strummer even having to play the right chord. The ‘instrument’ is also adaptable to left or right handed players to enhance the experience.

Dr. Helmer said the technology was so sophisticated that amateurs and professionals alike could wear the T-shirt which allows you to “jump around” and generate a sound that is “just like

an original mp3”.

He said: “It’s an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music-making – even by players without musical or computing skills.”

Although the current model is simply a black long-sleeved shirt, the technology is thought to be adaptable to any type of clothing since the sensors inside it are so well hidden.

The t-shirt was showcased to demonstrate how effortlessly people could control computers with such highly developed technology.

However, Helmer added on a serious note that it was to be taken into

other areas which have “more national benefit” such as physiotherapy and sports sciences.

If all goes to plan, the air guitar Tshirt could mean a huge breakthrough in helping monitor and develop people’s everyday health and fitness.

CSIRO hope to take their electronic textile technology to the fields of sport, rehabilitation and medicine within the next few years.

For now, however, the team is trialing their invention on the bass guitar, drums and have even created an air tambourine so music lovers will soon be able to form their own air band.

Fast food Pakistan’s strict fly-by rape and adultery Adam Millward News Editor KENTUCKY FRIED Chicken (KFC) has become the world’s first brand to be visible from outer space.

In a campaign to promote the fastfood chain, the company has created an 87, 500 ft image of a revamped Colonel Sanders located in the Nevada desert.

The construction took two months to complete, covers approximately two acres and is made up of 65,000 1x1 foot tiles.

The new Colonel is still wearing his signature string tie, but his classic white button-down suit has been replaced with a red apron.

The company claims that the restyled logo is a way of promoting the original ‘home style’ cooking of the brand.

Rachel, Nevada, is renowned around the world for its extraterrestrial encounters – in fact, the logo is thought to be in close proximity to the elusive government base known as Area 51.

Graham Allan, President of KFC International, stated: “The Colonel is truly a global icon and we want everyone in the universe to see KFC’s new look of the future.”

Allan added: “They know KFC food excites the senses and that life tastes better with KFC. “This is why KFC is boldy going here no brand has gone before!”

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World News in brief Victoria Lane Reporter

The love boat A MATCHMAKING cruise ship for millionaires is to set sail from China later this month.

Passengers on board the ship, that is to sail along Shanghai’s Huangpu River, must be good looking and have assets of more than at least £131,000.

However, according to reports, half the registered men have assets worth more than £13 million.

Xu Tianli, the event organiser, said: “Rich men are normally very busy and most of the women they meet are there for work or business and these men consider them unsuitable for relationships.”

Champy grampy THREE THUGS who set upon a pensioner got the shock of their lives when he turned out to be an ex-Army boxing champion.

67-year-old George Bayliss of Bury St Edmunds boxed for England in the 1960s and hit the ringleader with a left hook when the youths tried to steal his pension.

The retired builder said: “They picked on the wrong pensioner, the guy I hit got what he deserved…my only regret is that I didn’t hit him harder.”

laws softened Government helps to modernise laws, but reforms are opposed by religious groups Samantha Shillabeer Reporter

PAKISTAN’S national assembly has voted to modify the country’s strict laws on rape and adultery.

In the past, rape cases were dealt with in religious courts, with victims having to provide four male witnesses.

If these could not be given, the women faced prosecution for adultery.

Now, civil courts will be able to try rape cases, provided the upper house and the president sanction the changes.

The proposed reforms will be a test of President Musharraf’s stated dedication to a moderate form of Islam.

Religious groups boycotted the vote, saying that the bill encourages “free sex”.

Incidents of rape occur every two hours in Pakistan, with gang-rapes taking place every eight hours, according to the country’s independent Human Rights Commission.

It is thought that these figures are actually an under-estimation, as many

rapes go unreported.

Campaigners for the new reforms argued that Pakistan’s previous laws made it virtually impossible to prosecute rapists.

Efforts to pass the new reforms failed in September due to fierce opposition. The version of the Women’s Prosecution Bill put before legislators then caused such a chorus of disapproval that parliament was adjourned.

It would have allowed rape cases to be tried under civil as well as Islamic law. Human rights activists claimed this would have caused confusion, allowing influential religious parties to manipulate a weak judicial system.

Pakistan’s religious groups called the legislation “a harbinger of lewdness and indecency in the country”, and against the strictures of the Koran law.

They have threatened to carry out nationwide protests over the revised

bill.

Rape and adultery in Pakistan are dealt with under the Hudood Ordinance, a controversial set of Islamic laws introduced from 1979. The laws include sections prescribing lashing and stoning as punishments for women who commit adultery.

Addressing parliament on Wednesday, the leader of the six-party MMA Islamic alliance, Maulana Fazlur Rahman, said the bill would “turn Pakistan into a free-sex zone”.

The original bill proposed in September was withdrawn due to the scale of opposition. It was then reviewed by a panel of Islamic scholars, who provided amendments to it.

The reforms will not be put into place until Musharraf and the upper house approves them, but winning parliamentary consent is a major step.

Character building KIDS at a school in Romania are to be punished for missing classes by cleaning out pigsties.

The move was introduced as traditional punishments are no longer effective. Officials of the Ion Mincu High School in Vaslui believe this will discourage students from bunking off from school.

Dan Magureanu, the headmaster stated: “This way, we believe slackers have a chance to know how their futures will look like if they don’t come to school.”

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

NOVEMBER.20.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

freewords the voice of gairrhydd

Est. 1972

Students’ Union saga IT’S BEEN VOTED the city’s most ugly building, yet it has won awards for its design. It’s the least enticing building on campus, yet most students visit it at least once a week. You might be able to say that Cardiff University’s Students’ Union looks a little strange, but you can’t say that it’s not interesting.

But, in as little as five years, the building that people love and loath in almost equal proportions, might not be standing: it might have been replaced by a bigger, better and shiner model.

Whether the new building will stand over the railway on Park Place or in another location has not been decided. In fact, nothing about the project has been decided: will it be a social centre or a study centre? Will there be both? Will there be a swimming pool or an advice centre or a club or a library?

While the project is, in essence, very good for students, there are some hurdles which we will have to face. The most obvious one is the issue of the night club: will there be one and should there be one in the new union?

Although any of this year’s students couldn’t imagine life without Solus, will there be a need for one in 10 years time when universities could charge in excess of £10,000 for a place at university? Will students be able to afford to go out and will they want to jeopardise their studies with nights out at the Rubber Duck of the future?

Another key question we must ask is: will the university allow a night club, or any drinking establishments, to be located in a building which they are essentially going to fund?

This question highlights another important, more covert hurdle which has to be overcome: how does the Students’ Union retain the independence required to represent students if they go into joint partnership with the University on this project and the University provides the money?

Although the University currently owns the brown-brick monstrosity which we call the Students’ Union, will they use their financial position to try to include and exclude certain things from the new building? Would they ask for a smaller media centre to reduce the strength of gair rhydd?

Would their focus on their position in the academic league tables make them less inclined to back greater facilities for sports clubs and societies?

It may be a very cynical view, but this issue needs to be addressed. We must ensure that our independence is not compromised for one second by going into partnership over the new building.

We must ensure that the University knows exactly what we want in our new union or else we run the risk of letting them and their academic agendas take over. The only way we can ensure this doesn’t happen is to let this year’s executive know what we want.

9

Poppy fascism

Hollie Clemence encourages us to think about the meaning behind the poppy in light of the debate surrounding Jon Snow

J

on Snow has triggered an outburst of controversy for refusing to wear a Remembrance Day poppy while presenting the news this week. He spoke out against those pressuring him to wear one publicly, branding it as ‘poppy fascism’. And I, for one, agree.

I have no doubt that the money donated to The British Legion is indispensable to the veterans, young soldiers and families affected by the devastating nature of war. Of course it is imperative to remember and express how indebted we are to the soldiers who fought and fell for our country.

This, however, is not the matter at hand. Buying and wearing poppies should be an entirely voluntary act and by pressuring people to do so is to lose its significance altogether.

We claim to live in a democratic country where freedom of choice has been preserved by these very soldiers for whom we express gratitude each year in November.

In any event, it is not the case that Mr Snow doesn’t care about these soldiers. He has been photographed wearing a poppy in his private life and has affirmed his respect for the Armed Forces in the comments he made this week. He simply doesn’t wish to be demanded to publicly declare his beliefs and affiliations to his viewers.

For Mr Snow to display one symbolic emblem is to deny hundreds of others Mr Snow’s words were, “I do not believe in wearing anything that represents any kind of statement. I am begged to wear an aids ribbon, a breast cancer ribbon, a Marie Curie flower…

You name it. From the Red Cross to the RNIB they send me stuff to wear to raise awareness, and I don’t… there is a rather unpleasant breed of poppy fascism out there - 'he damned well must wear a poppy!' Well I do, in my private life, but I am not going to wear it or any other symbol on air.”

As the spectacle of television and celebrity steadily conquers the world, public figures are in constant demand to act as ambassadors for different causes. Should they wear every badge, flower and ribbon they are sent? Or are they to choose between the charities?

It is difficult enough for those of us out of the limelight to choose between donating to poverty-stricken children, breast-cancer sufferers, aids sufferers, the homeless, disaster victims, endangered animals or any others from a never-ending list of worthwhile causes. Tragedy on any scale is difficult to prioritise. For Mr Snow to display one symbolic emblem is to deny hundreds of others.

Some might argue that it is only one

SYMBOLS: The meaning behind the poppy time in the year that the poppy is worn, but, with the calendar being filled with more and more specialised charity days, we are on course to be wearing a different emblem every single day of the year.

I am reminded of the multi-coloured charity wristbands that swiftly turned into a fashion statement and ended up being sold on eBay, or replicated by high street peddlers, for a quick profit.

Teenagers up and down the country were settling for the charity boasting their favourite colour.

Like any external statement made on our bodies, the connotations of these emblems mean different things to different people; they can absorb and reflect political and social values that may unite but, more worryingly, divide society. You only have to look at current debates about the poppy to see the effect one flower can have on a country. The Christian think-tank Ekklesia caused a storm when they commented that people should wear white poppies instead of red if they so wished. The attention drawn to the white poppy, which traditionally represents pacifism, has led to debates about what the red poppy signifies with regards to the war in Iraq.

The head of Ekklesia, Jonathan Bartley, likened the poppy to ‘an article of faith’ that has become a symbol of political correctness. For even the absence of such a symbol to cause this uproar suggests that it has powerful political significance. Symbols cause controversy.

If Mr Snow were to brandish a prolife badge or a Salvation Army crest, for example, there would undoubtedly be complaints. I think it is reasonable, if not admirable, that a news reporter would wish to remain neutral on such issues.

A symbol can treacherously undermine its origins. The swastika, for instance, was an ancient symbol of long life, prosperity and good luck transformed into a symbol of hatred and oppression by its misappropriation by the Nazis. We should not lose sight of the cause obscured by the images it creates. Like with political correctness, people become so obsessed by words and labels that they forget to examine the intentions behind the language.

Nobody should be forced to express Remembrance Day externally, or else the true importance is defeated Depiction of faith is inextricably linked to the ongoing dispute over Muslim women wearing veils, such as in the Aishah Azmi case. It seems that as cultures merge, the body is the focal point of signification. While many argue that it is central to their faith to convey it visually, others claim that identification with one’s profession should come first. I respect that Mr Snow wants to be recognised as a newsreader before any other associative identity, at least while he is reading the news.

It would seem that people are so concerned about appearance and displaying symbols that they are forgetting the more important issues.

Remembrance Day should not revolve around the wearing of a red paper

flower on a stalk, but the actual remembrance of those who fought so bravely in the war. It is all too easy to donate a pound and wear a poppy without taking the time to think about its significance. True appreciation is a deeply internal and personal act.

Perhaps the people who are so quick to pass judgement on poppiless television personalities should look beyond the symbol, or lack of it.

Browsing through reader comments on various newspaper websites, I was taken aback at some people’s views on the subject. One man, from Fleet, Hampshire, suggests, “There should be a law introduced which makes it compulsory to wear one”. Poppy fascism indeed.

Where would this lead? Perhaps we should look to Anthony Burgess’s Clockwork Orange for assistance, and hold the non-compliant Mr Snow’s eyes open with cocktail sticks while he is forced to watch violent war-time scenes.

Yes, the war dead should be remembered, but not because we switch on the television and see a newsreader wearing a poppy. It should not be down to television personalities to market respect by brandishing badges and flowers. Mr Snow is not refusing to report about it, he just doesn’t wish to wear it on his lapel.

Remembrance Day should be a time for everyone to remember and be grateful in their own individual ways; nobody should be forced to express this externally, or else the true importance is defeated.

Jon Snow is defending his right to freedom of choice and his viewers’ rights to receive news from an objective journalist. From the Somme to Basra, these are the civil liberties for which our soldiers have fought.

10 gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

NOVEMBER.20.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Doing writing proper

In the age ov e-mail and txt mesgs, is the Englsh langwidge being nugleckted? Lorna Hull sez its time we all lurnd to spell good

L

anguage: the feature that makes us special, the posses sion that makes us a superior species, the privilege that we make use of every day through conversation, literature, song and the media. Life would not be as we know it without its presence.

The state of the English language is a topic in constant discussion and it appears to have split the nation. On one side people are furious about language being degraded, on another people are excited about the positive changes. Yet another group of people

WILL: Good speller

really don’t care all that much; who needs punctuation anyway?

The view of the first bunch is that the English language is spiralling into a state of disrepair. There has been outrage over the misuse of grammar and inability to spell. An outrage that I feel is justified. I began to panic during an A-level class when my teacher was willing to argue to the death that ‘grammar’ was spelt ‘grammer’. The fact is that nobody is being taught how to spell anymore. Funny that; I always held the belief that schools were supposed to handle those sorts of matters. Apparently not.

I truly believe that people should take care with their English no matter their age, status, or background; is it really acceptable that university students fail to recognise or even care about the need for an apostrophe in certain words?

However, even if our teaching standards were at a record high and we were all given daily grammar classes, nobody, with any amount of power, could prevent our language from changing to a certain extent. It is inevitable. That’s why I disagree with the constant groaning from some of our more mature members of society, concerning the arrival of new words

into our language. Some standards must be kept up in order to prevent English from becoming a heap of messy words without any rules, but we shouldn’t allow all creativity to be lost. As new products are invented, as new thoughts are created, and as society is changing continually, language needs to be altered in order to cater for it all. For example, the world of communication technology has bloomed and with it - a whole new, gleaming set of vocabulary. Although there are, of course, drawbacks. The text/email revolution has caused children to ignore the majority of grammar and spelling rules. Emails are now replacing traditional letters, but they have shed the formality which was once intrinsic to the written form.

Relaxed spelling is used just like in text messages; often an almost unrecognisable form of English. I don’t blame these kids: English words are ridiculously difficult to spell and they’re only trying to make things simple. But nothing in life is worth doing unless it’s a challenge, so I don’t think it would be correct to simply ignore the rules. They need to be learnt. Therefore, they need to be taught.

The key problem with our language

is that it fails to be orthographically transparent; the letters used to make up words don’t match the pronunciation. The letters ‘ough’ for example can be spoken in a variety of different ways: through, rough, though, bough, cough etc. When children learn, they attempt to follow rules, but as English contains so many exceptions, it makes life difficult.

Grammar, again, does not come with a neat little instruction booklet.

The ‘rules’ of our native language are used unconsciously and vary for a number of reasons. For one, dialects.

These give the English language a certain richness, creating individuality within an area. And, although stereotypes occur, I believe dialects simply add character. They’re teamed up with slang; something frowned upon by so many yet something so necessary and natural for our language. Life would be dull without it.

A major cause of all of this uproar is social status. There are those with their Received Pronunciation who frown upon the Newcastle dialect and Devonshire accent. Don’t you feel sad for people that attend classes to wipe out their accent, their character, their individuality? Do they not realise that they are in fact helping to degrade the

English language and that many find perfect pronunciation pretentious, not inspiring? We are all different and language is just one way of showing that.

I find it a shame when language, a beautiful gift, is beaten into stiffness and refused the chance to grow. I also find it a shame when people hold no respect for language, as if it means nothing to them.

We need to prevent English turning into an incomprehensible, meaningless slur, but not deny it its natural path of change.

GEORGE: Not so good?

gairrhydd

11

EDITORIAL & OPINION

NOVEMBER.20.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Should Saddam hang?

A

n eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Saddam Hussein's life for the 148 lives taken by him in the town of Dujail back in 1982. In the face of such evil, might we consider the death penalty justified, just this once?

Two thousand years ago, a radical and revolutionary teacher in the Middle East proclaimed a message that flew in the face of accepted human wisdom and culture.

He preached reconciliation rather than retribution, and a love not just for one's neighbours, but our enemies as well. Does such teaching have any relevance to the practical realities of the twenty-first century, supposedly a time of war between civilization and terror?

We should not use this man’s evil as a cloak for the wrongs of the West If we take such teaching to mean that we should just pat Saddam Hussein on the head and let him go out of some notion of forgiveness, then no. But Christ warned us to take the plank out of our own eye, in order to see clearly to remove the speck from the eye of our brother. The principle is to put our own house in order first, not abandon the pursuit of justice.

Saddam Hussein is clearly an unpleasant and evil man, but this tinpot dictator has somehow been transformed in the popular imagination by the Western media. He has become a bogeyman, an embodiment of evil

plotting world domination in a way that would put the most chilling Bond villain to shame. But we must not use this man's evil as a cloak for the wrongs of the West.

Back in the 1980s, America was busy selling weapons and aircrafts to Saddam Hussein. Responsible for reopening US relations with Iraq in the early eighties, after the 1967 ArabIsraeli war, was none other than Donald Rumsfeld. Just at the same time, Iraq was using chemical weapons against Iran. Saddam himself had close links with the CIA. America was perfectly happy for Saddam Hussein to do as he wished in Iraq as long as he did not threaten US interests. Once he did so, on August 2, 1990, by invading Kuwait, he suddenly became an evil tyrant and a threat in the eyes of the West, rather than a useful asset.

The Iraq War was not motivated by a desire to liberate the Iraqi people, or to spread democracy, or out of an abstract ambition for global security.

One only has to look to countries such as Zimbabwe, where there is tyranny but no threat to Western interests, to see the West's true motives. The Iraq War was motivated by American and British self-interest, which directly led to a conflict resulting in the deaths of tens of thousands of innocent civilians.

Our politicians justified this on the basis of the threat posed by Weapons of Mass Destruction, something that proved to be entirely false. Having made a misjudgement on such a massive scale, the least Bush and Blair could have done was to have the decency to resign.

This is not to justify or vindicate Saddam Hussein in any way; the

ILLUSTRATION: ANDREW STYLES

Caleb Woodbridge asks us to consider what is to be gained from Saddam’s death. Is state ordained murder ever justifiable?

SADDAM: Damned?

If they wanted to get rid of Saddam then our leaders should have had the guts to make an honest case wrongs of our politicians does not lessen Saddam's evil, any more than his wrongdoings lessen the hypocrisy of our leaders.

If they wanted to get rid of Saddam then our leaders should have had the

guts to make an honest case on their real reasons of national self-interest.

Better yet, they should have the integrity to admit to past wrongs in foreign policy. They should have sought to follow through a genuinely moral foreign policy consistently, and not just when it suits them as a PR stunt to justify the latest ploy in Western interests.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". This is not a command to abandon the pursuit of justice. Rather, it calls us to examine ourselves, our own actions and motivations, before rushing in to condemn others.

Considering our own track record, we would do well to pause and reflect before hurrying to crow in triumph over Saddam's sentence.

So what of the death sentence? If we really believe killing to be wrong, and wish Saddam Hussein to face justice for killing, then how can we consistently advocate state-sanctioned murder? What's more, there is a sense in which killing is too good for him; it would allow him to escape facing the consequences of his actions in the present life.

If we seriously believe in Western ideas like the fundamental value of

human life, then we should be seeking to promote this in Iraq as much as political systems such as democracy.

Of course, the whole massively misguided misadventure in Iraq should give us pause before hastily trying to change the culture and practices of a nation in our own image.

Our methods should be talking to people, engaging with other cultures, seeking to win people over through argument and example.

If we believe killing to be wrong, how can we advocate state-sanctioned murder?

The trial of Saddam Hussein should be a reminder to us of the capacity for evil that is present in every one of us and in every culture.

Let us seek to promote a higher standard of justice and compassion, starting with changing our own actions, rather than stooping to the same level.

w o n e n i l On ydd.com h r ir a .g s d r o w e http://fre

12 gairrhydd

POLITICS

NOVEMBER.20.2006 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

Spoiled vote In need of dehate Tim Hewish Political Correspondent Andy Rennison Political Editor

R

ight, how do you make voting sexy? Impossible you say, but worth a try. After all, humans have fought bloody wars all in the name of being able to vote, or as a consequence of election results.

In a not so bloody episode last week, Labour turned down the offer of a possible coalition with the Lib Dems following forthcoming council elections. This rejection came from their reluctance to meet the Lib Dem’s pre-requisite of changing the voting system from First Past The Post to proportional representation.

Some of you may know of these terms; some of you may prefer to eat your own feet. Simply put, our existing First Past the Post system distributes power by seats, and seats go to whoever gets the most votes in each individual constituency.

Lib Dems, however, would love to see it, as they would get a much larger chunk of parliamentary sats with proportional representation in place.

The obvious argument against this is that all the votes that the losing candidates receive are essentially binned – they don’t get used any further, something seriously annoying to the smaller parties.

Thing is, proportional rep has a habit of creating parliaments with too many parties, a situation which helped to lay the groundwork for World War Two. The ruling Weimar Republic collapsed and allowed Hitler’s Nazis to rise up the ranks, forge alliances and cripple others.

As a result, the world got Nazi Germany and a tyrannical despot who banned voting altogether.

The fundamental problem is that to rule a country you need a united agenda, and pro rep, rather than creating one strong party, often produces a weak and uneasy coalition of semi-like-minded parties, who don’t agree and get nothing done.

COUNTED: but not everybody’s vote counts One candidate might only get 40% of his constituency’s vote on election night, but if everyone else gets a mere 20% each then he wins that seat – winner takes all. So on paper it is possible for one party to only get something like 40% of all the votes yet attain every seat in Parliament.

But under proportional representation, power is divided up exactly as the popular vote is cast, which in the 2005 election would’ve left Labour – voted for by about 35% of the populus – with 35% control of Parliament, rather than the 55% they actually have.

The Lib Dems are not alone in their cries for introducing ‘one man, one vote.’ Plaid Cymru, the Greens and the SNP all support proportional rep, and while none of them lead into every election shouting about it, the issue simmers at the back of every small party’s mind.

So which system is best? A good question, as next year we will be voting (yippee) for ministers to sit in the Welsh Assembly.

The FPP system is basically what parties in power prefer, for the simple reason that it keeps them in power. Ironically, before 1997 Labour said they wanted to change it, but after they won it quickly went on the back burner. Parties like the

So how would we all get on with the pro rep system if we woke up tomorrow and it ruled Britannia?

Labour would almost certainly be in a coalition Commons with the Lib Dems, which would form a similar majority to the one Blair enjoys under FPP. The Tories would be holding a similar share of power – about a third – as they do now, and so would presumably be equally as useless.

Consider though how plagued by in fighting and division Labour are anyway, unable to achieve their lofty ambitions while they bicker away with each other about how to do so.

Imagine then the sheer hopelessness of a Blair-Ming partnership; a combo of two parties who, though similar in traditional values, disagree on the majority of key issues facing the UK today.

Some have labelled Labour’s rejection of a Lib Dem coalition as arrogance, but the hypothesis sounds far, far worse.

At the end of the day, no political system, democratic or not, is perfect – or sexy. We’re all too damn different to use pro rep, and we’re far too opinionated to accept First Past the Post. But the more time politicians dedicate to such philosophical whining, the less time they’re spending making a difference.

Hector Roddan Political Correspondent

O

K, let’s play one of those ‘what’s my name’ games.

What would you call an elected politician who, after a fringe political leader is acquitted of inciting racial/religious hatred, declares that laws need to be ‘tightened up’?

Is it a) a democratically elected senior member of a ‘centre-left’ government party? No! Surely not. Sounds more like b) a crackpot fascist from some extreme party or other that interprets the term ‘freedom of speech’ along the lines of ‘freedom to agree with me, end of story.’

Of course, I satirise and misrepresent a serious political issue, giving the all-important oxygen of publicity to the extremist British Nationalist Party and its ex-National Front leader, Nick Griffin.

However, being no fascist myself, I do find it somewhat odd that the claim of parties such as the BNP to be the true defenders of free speech is seemingly re-enforced by the actions of a senior member of the New Labour government.

Gordon Brown, among other senior government figures, appears to be deliberately giving the likes of Griffin the opportunity to justify their paltry claims to defending free speech. The multicultural establishment that Griffin attacks for censoring his own personal brand of ‘truth’ seems to show less consideration for the legal system of this country than the stereotypical bigots of the BNP. It is clear to the majority of people in this country that statements along the lines of “showing the ethnics the door in 2004”, from Griffin’s codefendant and senior BNP activist, Mr Collett, are not those of a person who

GAGGED: should the law silence extremists? views citizenship as most citizens do.

If, as suggested in other statements by party activists, ‘ethnic’ is a covert way of saying ‘anyone who isn’t white’, how come this defender of white Christian values presumes that white Christians have no ‘ethnic’ identity?

Maybe ‘ethnic’ is being used simply in place of ‘different’. But that would just be racist, and Griffin has spuriously claimed that the BNP isn’t a ‘racist’ party.

Equally, the view that the entire Islamic faith is ‘wicked’ and ‘vicious’ does not give much hope that any future BNP role in politics would stand up to the standards of fairness and nondiscrimination which are currently the norm in this country.

It should be clear from a brief interrogation of the views held by these self-styled ‘defenders’ of free speech that they simply represent the views of extremist minority racists. Such people cannot reconcile their out-dated conception of British nationhood with the modern multicultural society that the

political mainstream has been quite happily occupying for several decades.

Therefore, surely it is better to let the likes of the BNP have the oxygen of publicity in order to highlight the extremity of their opinions. After all, by censoring groups such as AlMuhajiroun and the BNP, is that not both somewhat fascist and a play into the hands of such groups?

It is ludicrous for them to claim to defend free speech, because free speech only means anything if it is available to everyone. It should be the job of the mainstream to attack extremists’ views, not stick their fingers in their ears and start shouting, “I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you.

Nobody listen to the extremist!”

Debate in politics is healthy.

Silencing your opponents, however extreme their views, is the absolute opposite of winning an argument.

Brown and his fellows should be ashamed for even thinking that preventing extremists from expressing their views would go any way to defeating their arguments.

gairrhydd

COMMENT

NOVEMBER.20.06 COMMENT@gairrhydd.COM

? ??

13

The Ridler ?? ?

?

Turn on the lights T

he perceptive amongst you might have noticed a small gang of students knocking around outside the Union looking as green as an envious Hulk after a dicey kebab.

Apparently, our fauna-shaded friends are promoting people and planet’s ‘Go Green’ campaign, encouraging us wasteful student types to be friendlier to the environment.

I say allegedly because I didn’t actually see them up close myself, so don’t know the in-depth details of the campaign, but as you can see I’m taking the message very seriously by ensuring that this page maintains its high standards of name-bar greenness.

In all seriousness though, it’s important to do what we can for the environment, recycling and all, so hats off to you guys in green, and also to new initiatives to make the Union bars more environmentally friendly.

I can’t help feeling a little bit as though we might have the wrong end of this old campaigning stick to a degree though.

I mean, its all well and good to encourage people to turn lights off, but surely that’s a personal preference anyway; turning off lights saves money.

The real questions that need to be faced up to over and above what you

Wind plants really destroy that beautiful view that so many people love to look at over the top of their Daily Mail

or I can do about it while watching Neighbors.

In a truly advanced country though should we need to be polluting every time we boil the kettle or flick on the tv?

Ultimately, we should be in a society where, assuming you can afford it, you can use as much damned energy as you want without feeling guilty or destroying the environment, and that

means one of two things: renewable energy sources or nuclear.

Dilemma eh? Worse still are the dilemmas within the sources. The recently proposed Severn barrier could potentially produce around five to six percent of Britains energy as I understand it, and all nice free ozone layer saving hydro-electric energy at that.Wind turbines have the potential in offshore batteries to provide a num-

ber of coastal towns with power whilst land based turbines can power a number of small villages, hugely cutting the amount of power we consume from our main plants, which, if nuclear, would produce an abundance of relatively clean energy for the big cities.

However, a barrier would also destroy Severn estuary habitats, and produce very expensive energy due to the immense cost to build.

Wind plants of course, really destroy that beautiful view that so many people love to look at over the top of their Daily Mail and naturally, no-one wants to live next to a nuclear power plant; it destroys your house value faster than living next door to a thousand strong camp of all-night raving new age travellers with a penchant for collecting ASBOs. I guess we’ll just have to make do, since they’re all such clearly valid reasons for remaining stuck in the 20th century on a power source that is destroying the planet.

Or we can just take the extreme measure, and never use electricity at all, or maybe, just maybe, we can realise the greater social good and move off polluting power sources.

Sorry I’d love to write further but I’ve got to go. Apparently my laptop is contributing to the hole in the Ozone layer.

A spot of bother

S

visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

The Red Dragon Centre, Cardiff Bay, Hemingway Road CF10 4JY Tel: 02920 256261

o they’ve finally finished attaching the most expensive kitchen tiles in South Wales to the ugliest building outside of the students union, and the collective result is breathtaking to behold.

It is truly breathtaking to consider that the university could waste so much money on such a superfluous piece or rubbish, sorry, art, and then have the lack of foresight to put it onto the psychology block.

Meanwhile, while the builders have been drilling the, ahem, ‘art’ onto the side of the block, they’ve been interrupting psychology students’ lectures, as well as pissing away university funds (yeah, yeah, most of it came from a grant of some sort, but there’s still £45,000 of Psychology money which went towards it).

Cardiff University is obviously free to waste money on whatever it wants, but given our poor league table performances and the lack of funding available to many students I’d think that there would be a few better things to sponsor.

All round, the whole project has

been a headache for students, and the end result? The building is still ugly, and while the piece itself is interesting, it seems difficult to elicit a reaction which would qualify higher than indifference from most.

Perhaps in the future, the University would think a little harder

PHOTO: ANNA STAPLES

14 gairrhydd

INTERVIEWS

NOVEMBER.20.2006 INTERVIEWS@gairrhydd.COM

White on cue

PHOTO: TIM MOHAN

Jimmy White talks to Dave Menon about World Championship heartache, his current form and winning at poker

“If I didn’t think I could win it, I wouldn’t play.”

I can’t play snooker to save my life. My best ever break is an appalling eight, my cue action is unorthodox and most people laugh out loud at my facial expression when I try to play a shot.

However, despite my lack of any quality on a snooker table, I really enjoy watching the sport.

Over the years, I have spent many an hour watching John Virgo attempt tough trick-shots on Big Break, while eagerly waiting for Noel’s House Party to begin. Remember those days.

But can you remember the day that Jimmy White became one of the most unlucky men in sport? 12 years ago (when I was only 10-years-old), White lost his sixth World Championship final against arch-nemesis Stephen Hendry in a deciding frame.

After getting this close to winning a world title for the first time ever, how did White approach that gut-wrenching, final frame?

“I just threw my cue at the black and twitched. I didn’t give it any thought, I didn’t gather any thoughts. At this stage, you’ve got to give every shot 100%. It was frustrating to lose but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

For some reason unknown to man, the Snooker World Championship has always eluded Jimmy White. On the flip side of the coin, Stephen Hendry has won the same tournament no fewer than seven times. It’s a tough world.

Nonetheless, White was refreshingly upbeat when I asked him to rate his chances of winning his first world title. He said: “If I didn’t think I could win it, I wouldn’t play.”

I’ve been working hard at my game and I’m pleased with my cue action, so it’s all looking good.”

And on his long-standing rivalry with Hendry, he added: “Well, I just ironed him out last week 5-1 to give me a chance of qualifying for the [Premier] league, so I’m not really concerned about him. I’m more concerned with concentrating on my game.”

Following this latest victory, White has consolidated his third-place position in the seven-man Betfred Premier League. He now must wait on other results to see if he reaches the semi-finals, by finishing in the top four.

Although White has never won a World Championship to date, he is commonly known as the “People’s Champion”. He may have had a shortage of

luck, but the 44-year old Englishman will never have a lack of support.

However, White admitted that support is only helpful when it is coupled with good form. He added: “It is hard when you’re not producing good form. But when you’re producing, there’s nothing like it [support]. It’s probably the greatest thing in the world. But if you’re not playing well, it’s difficult to cope with.”

Jimmy is arguably one of the most colourful and flamboyant characters that has ever graced snooker. When I asked him what his most embarrassing moment was, he joked: “How long have you got?”

Jimmy is arguably one of the most colourful and flamboyant characters that has ever graced snooker He added: “The most embarrassing one was when I went to a club after flying to Newcastle.

I walked into the club and there was 1000 people there, who I thought had come to see me.

“But I soon discovered that they had gone to see Rod Stewart in person, and I was due to be there the following week.”

I met Jimmy last week at Rileys – a pool and snooker club situated on City Road. As part of his work for the company, the snooker ace travels up and down the country to challenge members to a game of snooker or pool.

After completing successive victories over three talented snooker players, a large number of supporters flocked to get autographs and pictures signed by their snooker hero.

Although White was kept busy for most of the night, he never stopped smiling throughout. The “Whirlwind” appeared to be a man that was thoroughly enjoying himself. During one of his snooker matches, the Englishman cheekily remarked “not recently” after compiling a break that reached 69.

Shortly afterwards, I couldn’t resist the temptation to ask Jimmy when he had last made a 69. He laughed before responding: “It was a long eight hours ago.”

However, White is not just a world-class snooker player.

Apparently he is not that bad at poker. When I asked him whether he had won a tournament before, he replied: “Yeah, I won the Poker Million in London, my home city, in 2004.

I’ve always been quite good at the game since a young age”.

And Jimmy is not the only snooker player to take up poker at a competitive level, as Welsh stars Matthew Stevens and Mark Williams have also enjoyed a degree of success in lucrative tournaments.

So perhaps Jimmy is not that unlucky after all. After winning a poker tournament and fighting testicular cancer in 2001, there is evidence to suggest that a great deal (excuse the pun) of luck has helped him through life.

But on a less positive note, young snooker star Paul Hunter tragically lost his battle against cancer recently.

The “Whirlwind” subsequently revealed that he would never get over the loss of such a great player.

“Me and Kevin [White’s agent] were very close to Paul, we were probably as close to him as anybody in snooker. We are still gutted. I don’t think we will ever get over that one, he was our little mate.”

In fond memory of Hunter, members of Cardiff University Snooker Club were collecting money at the event in aid of

Cancer Research.

Finally, what was the best moment in White’s snooker career?

“I’ve been in six world finals, I’ve won 22 majors and 41 invitation tournaments, but winning the UK Championship in 1992 was the best moment.”

Of course, the answer to that question would change if the “Whirlwind” adds a World Championship to his trophy cabinet. Unfortunately, time is running out for the greatest player who has never been crowned as world champion.

Jimmy ‘the whirlwind’ White Factfile 2003 Jimmy releases a record titled ‘Jimmy’s Minted’ 2001 - Won a battle against testicular cancer 1992 - UK Championship - winner _ 1988 - Canadian Masters - winner _ 1986, 1992 - Grand Prix - winner _ 1987, 1992 - British Open - winner _ 1992 - European Open winner _ 1987, 1991 - Classic winner _ 1984 - B&H Masters winner _ 1985, 1986 - B&H Irish Masters - winner _ 1981 - Scottish Masters - winner _ 1984, 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993, 1994 Embassy World Championship - runner-up 1980 - World amateur championship winner 1979 - English amateur champion winner 1962 - May 2 Jimmy is born in London

gairrhydd

LETTERS

NOVEMBER.20.2006 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com Debates are raging, handbags are flying, there’s even info here on the latest thieves to grace Cathays! The letters page is thriving. Whether you want to talk to other students about an issue or get your point heard by the authorities, here’s a space to do it.

Well done girls I AM WRITING in response to last week’s letter entitled ‘Get Your Kit On’. I am appalled as to the attitude of the letter, with regards to the netball calendar out this week.

I believe a group of medics did a similar calendar last year, involving both men and women, and I don’t recall there being such controversy.

Instead of being scorned, it was purely appreciated for its charitable efforts, as should this one.

In my opinion, not only has the calendar itself been put together artistically and tastefully, in such a way that complements the girls exceptionally, but I think the foremost point that has to be considered is that the whole purpose of the calendar is to raise awareness and funds for a very important, relevant and credible charity.

I myself know a couple of the girls in the calendar and who genuinely participated in an attempt to do their part in helping breast cancer. If you had seen the nerves and apprehension that I saw the morning of the shoot, then you would know that these girls were in no way taking part to flaunt or ‘degrade’ themselves as you put it (and certainly have not done so), and in no way was it an attempt to ‘get noticed’.

Far from it.

A group of medics did a similar calendar last year, involving both men and women, and I don’t recall there being such controversy Both of these friends have been touched by the devastating affects of this disease, as have I, and I’m sure as have most of you (or, I'm sad to say, the chances are you will be at some point in your life), and I am disgusted that anyone should want to belittle the work done by these girls for a charity so close to so many of our hearts.

Maybe, Third Year you should reserve judgement for when you have seen the finished calendar…maybe then you’ll appreciate their efforts…And if you don't, then at least you've given £4 to a good cause.

Oh, and if you’re going to throw an insult at these girls, at least have the decency to put your name on the bottom. Well done girls, I applaud you.

Emma, Third Year Biologist

University residences are rubbish at recycling FURTHER TO THE ARTICLE highlighting the university's wasteful attitude to resources I'd like to highlight two prime examples at Aberdare Hall - sadly representative of the university as a whole.

15

Firstly, where a simple notice telling students that identity cards should be shown to collect mail could have been displayed, instead copies of the notice were left in a pile, saying exactly this tens of sheets of paper used where one would have easily sufficed.

Secondly, the only provision for hall-wide recycling is of paper: and the large bin already has normal waste emptied into it - no sign to say it's a paper-only bin, no checking that students use it as such.

I can guarantee that no kitchens recycle glass, metal or plastic, because, despite the hall having kitchens and a small wheelie-bin for glass, nothing is available for students.

Why not make it obligatory to recycle in halls since the habits we form now will stay with us for life?

A fourth year student

Watch out, saddle stealer about TODAY STARTED ON A HIGH, I got up late (but not so late that I felt guilty about lying in), had a lovely cup of coffee and was standing outside the finance office as it was opening, ready to collect my first pay packet. I then had another 90 minutes free in which to do some more work to boost the contents of my pay packet next week. All well and lovely. It went wrong from there.

I left the Students’ Union to go on to my noon lecture and as I returned to the lampost where I had safely chained my bike something seemed wrong.

There was less bike there than there was when I left it.

Some lowlife with not enough to do had pinched my saddle! Now, I'm not some twit who just leaves bits of their bike around waiting to be nicked with a sign on them reading 'please nick me' (unlike the recent spate of adverts on the radio would have us believe that all victims of theft are). My saddle isn't (or wasn't) a quick-release one. You need to spend quite some time with an allen key to get it off (I may not be an adept master-criminal, but it still took me somewhere in the region of five minutes when last I had to do it) so whoever helped themselves as the Senghenydd Road branch of Bike Spares 'R' Us must've been standing over my bike fiddling with the saddle for a plenty long-enough time that someone would have seen them.

However, there's little point trying to figure out how it happened. I've got a far more pressing question. Why? Why would you want a saddle? Who walks down the street and thinks "ooh, that's a nice saddle on that bike, I think I'll have that. It'll make a good replacement for a stool at my breakfast bar!"

Or was it just some act of spite against me for daring to chain the rest of my bike up solidly so they couldn't nick that? Or are they, perhaps, trying to build their own bike from parts stolen one-by-one from any bike where every part isn't welded on? Has

some poor chap (further along the road, perhaps) come back to his bike to find the front wheel missing and is someone else (maybe chained up outside The Woodville) down a set of pedals?

Now I get to push my bike back up Cathays Terrace to get home and spend most of my first pay packet on replacing my saddle and the mudguard that was attached to it.

Thomas Davey, An extremely irked third year student

Election debate continues I WANT TO TAKE the chance to reply to the comments Ed Jones made to my original letter about the farcical nature of the elections.

I stand by my hopes that serious candidates come forward who have integrity and drive. I long for people to get out there and relate to students, not try to entertain or arouse them with costumed gimmicks. Ed, this is my fourth year in Cardiff - please don't assume I have no idea what elected officers do, that is quite an assumption you make and you told me off about those last week. If I wasn't pursuing a full time degree and a part time job to pay for it I'd love to spend a day 'in your shoes' and see what goes on in the office.

May I ask, who pays for this DVD? Who decided to set that up and on what consultative basis? And as Cardiff is a fair trade city and our university seeks to run along such guidelines, what is the ecological cost of all those DVDs thrown away in our streets five minutes after we've been given them? Why not use the Uni webspace to stream a film and email the link for it to all students? It would give you a good count on how many people are bothered to watch it.

With regards to the issue of biased handouts from elected officers like the AU officer to their buddy buddy societies, I want to say two things Ed. First I never said 'undue', so are you saying that some societies are due more than others? Hmm, are the numerically little societies out there listening? Is Ed saying you are worth less than some other societies? Thin ice.

I long for people to get out there and relate to students, not try to entertain or arouse them with costumed gimmicks Second, I'm willing to retract the assertion that moneys are aimed in certain directions without parity if your office is willing to make a clear statement. Simply put I'd like it stated that at no time has any society ever

letter of the week University Arms Trade DO PEOPLE REALLY CARE about the arms trade? In my first week at Cardiff, a lecturer asked 150 of us if we'd work for an arms manufacturer after university. A vast majority raised their hands.

Guns in the wrong hands are a problem, but if you've ever watched the news you'll see that the ubiquitous rifle across the whole of Africa, South-East Asia, South America and anywhere else with dictators and/or Maoist uprisings is the AK47.

Max Factor make cam-paint for the Army. Are all female students expected to boycott them too?

Manufactured in several former Soviet Bloc states, but not in any factory owned by BAE or any other British stock exchange listed company, which is surely what the hedge fund managers (at best retained by the university) are investing in. Sure, they still make weapons, tanks, etc for the British Army and probably other European nations too, and if you're against the UK having troops in Iraq, surely not only the weapons manufacturers are at fault?

The Smiths group is mentioned as supplying engines and aircraft. received preferential treatment from elected officers to the detriment of other societies. I'm not interested in you saying 'it's never happened on my watch' or 'obviously we believe it's never happened', after all this isn't an American drama series.

Simply state it has never happened, because the onus is on your office to unequiocably prove that all dealings with societies have absolute parity.

Otherwise don't give me stick for saying some get preferential treatment, the whole point of this letter writing exercise is to bring the average student to the attention of those elected to represent them.

Ken Ed says: Dear Ken, I'll address each point in turn if I may: 1. Integrity and drive? I've invited you to come and witness the enthusiasm and committment show by elected officers and you have declined. You could, for example, have witnessed myself and the President locking horns with the University on wednesday, arguing against a substantial increase in the cost of residence fees. We have represented our students in the same way over tuition fees, teaching, sports fascilities etc 2. Entertainment and arousal? All those seeking to represent Cardiff students should show an ability to com-

What do the British Army drive?

Land Rovers. Should the University not invest in a car manufacturer?

Handily, the Army's chocolate is supplied by Nestle who are already boycotted by the Union, but surely the University cannot invest in Nestle either? Max Factor make cam-paint for the Army. Are all female students expected to boycott them too?

Someone makes the Army's clothes. Someone makes the Army's sleeping bags. Someone makes the boots, the cutlery, the "beverage whitener". Aren't all of these companies also "supporting the war"?

Shouldn't they be subject to the same boycotting?

A touch of realism please. The University gives its money to be invested. It's invested in those shares which are predicted to be most profitable, thus supplying the University with money to fund things like pay-rises for lecturers, installing WIFI networks, perhaps finally finishing the Optometry building.

Oh, and the mess on the side of the Psychology building that looks like someone sneezed. We couldn't do without that, could we?

A pragmatic first year Student Do you care? Should the University invest in any of these companies?

Let us know: email letters@gairrhydd.com, or visit http://freewords.gairrhydd.com and have your say. municate with those students. This is a crucial skill for an elected Officer as so much of what we do involves listening to students and getting them involved in campaigns and other projects. I believe that our voters still demand a good deal of credibility from their candidates and the poor results for certain candidates at the last elections is an illustration of that.

3. DVD? Measures to increase awareness amongst our members about how their organisation is run (such as the DVD) are crucial. It saddens me that you show such little enthusiasm for the project. I might add that we have been extremely active in reforming the environmental impact of the Union and would be happy to share our measures with you. I assume you object to the publication of the Gair Rhydd also, on the basis that it's made from trees and could end up as litter.

4. Buddy Buddy societies? Some sports clubs and societies get more funds than others. I should have thought that was obvious. Some have more members and are involved in more expensive activities.

If you have any more concerns, please feel free to come in and see me or the other Officers. It saddens me to read your uninformed and occassionally absurd objections, knowing how impressive our Students' Union is on a national scale, and how hard the Officers work to improve our students' time at Unviversity.

16 gairrhydd

FEATURES

NOVEMBER.20.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

‘I count’, you cou

Earlier this month 20,000 protesters took to the streets of London for the National Climat Ed Vanstone Editorial & Opinion Editor

B

eing an English Literature student, I haven’t had to face the pain of a nine o’clock lecture for many a month, and I’ve got used to the languorous life of late morning crumpets before brain building begins.

You’ll understand then, that when my alarm goes off at 7am on a Saturday and I immediately rush downstairs to the shower, there must be something pretty important happening.

The National Climate March, organised by the Campaign Against Climate Change, is something pretty important. And along with a coach load of forty or so others, I am braving the Cardiff morning cold to travel up to dirty old London and add another face to the protest.

The rally begins at Grosvenor Square, outside the US embassy.

Shuffling into the placard toting throng, the first thing I notice is the range of people packed around the stage. Climate change is an issue that unites those from all social and political backgrounds. Fear and necessity are the great galvanisers; if you see a ball of fire heading towards you, you don’t argue with your political nemesis about whether its existence is due to capitalism or socialism – you go and help him fetch a really big bucket of water.

The horrifying reality of the climate crisis, compared to which the prospect of the occasional fireball pales into insignificance, is increasingly undiluted by spin in the rhetoric of the incumbent government and increasingly prominent in the mediasavvy addresses of David Cameron.

Effective policy to match the tough talk, however, remains unforthcoming, and this is why we are all here – young and old, male and female, communist and conservative – to push for action and legislation to combat the most serious threat the world has ever faced.

Climate change... unites those from all social and political backgrounds Our coach arrives too late for the speeches of the first few MPs, but just in time for the Bishop of London, who bellows out some excellent points about how we cannot “mix the messages” and must all work together to cut carbon emissions. He also rightly emphasises that it will be the poorest and most vulnerable of the world who are hit first, and hit hardest by climate change.

Unfortunately, the bishop then goes on to negate his mixing messages dictum by attacking Richard

Dawkins’s bestselling polemic The God Delusion and suggesting that it is imperative to know your responsibility to a higher power, and your responsibility for keeping His creation alive.

He intimates that it is only through faith that one can garner the moral fortitude needed to face the climate challenge. God, the bishop tells us, is not just green, but is also brown. This, he says, means, “God is olive.”

This proposal of the colouration of the deity is greeted with bemused silence by the crowd. To those of us who always thought that God was an illusory supernatural entity, the purported existence of whom handily appeases the terrifying irrevocability of human mortality, it is all something of a shock.

On a more serious note, the presence or otherwise of a higher power seems irrelevant to the fact that the planet is in peril and action must be taken to save it. And the insinuation that the solution lies solely in the morality of the faithful seems deeply vain, not to mention insulting to the many godless peons such as myself who are present. The epigraph to Dawkins’s book is a quote from the late Douglas Adams: “Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it?”

Faithful or faithless, we all share the same moral compass. We all want to save the garden and we all know we have a responsibility to try.

After the Bishop comes George

Monbiot, campaigning journalist and honorary President of the Campaign Against Climate Change. Monbiot is typically impressive, systematically citing the facts that undermine the excuses for inaction. Of particular note is his assertion that in China the average carbon emissions per person per year is 2.7 tonnes; in the UK the figure is 9.5 tonnes. The recent pointing of angry green fingers at the fast developing nation has no basis in fact.

The biggest cheer comes when Monbiot says that the time for debate is over - the time has come for “action, action, action.” Just as he is finishing, as if on cue, an aeroplane glides over the square, scraping an opaque white contrail across the blue.

If politicians continue to use hollow words - spouted from the seat of their bicycles while their papers follow in the car - as a proxy for policy, I predict a steep rise in a different kind of political action: direct protest, from environmental campaign groups

We have a responsibility ... not just for our children, but to the future of humanity such as Joss Garman’s Plane Stupid.

We 20,000 or so have gathered in London because we need a 60%

reduction in global carbon emissions if we are to avoid a 2ºC rise in global temperature. In the richest countries, this means a 90% reduction. Beyond a 2ºC rise, our ability to stop the temperature accelerating disappears; global heat exponentially increases, the permafrost melts and the sea level rises, and nobody has any fun at all.

Tony Blair himself has said that we have only a decade to act. We may have a few measly years longer than that, but the fact remains that we are the last group of people who can make a difference. We have a responsibility - ill-fitting and unasked for though it may be - not just to our children, but to the future of humanity. To use a student-friendly analogy, it’s a real Jack Bauer situation. I’ve never so much as got an after-school detention, let alone a police caution, but, although in London my sole act of rebellion is to help a friend turn around all of Jeremy Clarkson’s books in Waterstones, I can see myself getting involved in direct action environmental groups if annual targets for cutting carbon emissions do not become a political reality.

Nothing less than a 3% reduction in carbon emissions each and every year will do. Setting lofty targets such as a 60% reduction by 2050 is useless; by 2020 it may already be too late. We need to cut carbon emissions immediately, and we need to keep cutting them every year until the 90% reduction is achieved. These requirements are not plucked out of the air,

gairrhydd

17

FEATURES

NOVEMBER.20.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

unt, we all count’

te March to combat ‘the most serious threat the world has ever faced.’ by experts from the painstakingly researched studies that appear in the most renowned scientific journals.

After Monbiot leaves the stage, there are a few words from the organiser of the rally before the crowd begins a slow trawl down towards Trafalgar square and the dubious delights of Razorlight and K T Tunstall.

On the issue of climate change political marches can make a difference A fortnight ago our resident columnist, The Ridler, wrote a very good piece on the ineffectuality of the NUS anti top-up fees march, and protest marches in general. I share his scepticism about the virtues of political marches. In 2003, millions marched against the invasion of Iraq. Blair promptly said that by doing so they had given confidence to Saddam Hussein, and then toddled off to massage George Bush and watch the fireworks over Baghdad.

But however impotent the National Climate March may prove politically, to be around 20,000 others who share your disgust and anger at the dithering inaction of politicians changes you, makes you more determined, and provides a glimmer of hope. And despite my scepticism about the effect of

political rallies, I really do believe that on the issue of climate change political marches can make a difference. I believe - I have to believe that people like David Miliband want to legislate to the degree needed, but they are frightened that to do so would ensure that the Labour party is kicked out of government by voters already half-swayed by the brand of Cameron’s trainers, who cannot accept that they must change their way of life.

It is up to every single one of us to prove that we are prepared to make sacrifices. Cheap flights, incandescent light bulbs, plasma televisions, SUVs - these are all luxuries that we can no longer afford. Cutting out all four of these indulgences as individuals is a good start, but the major changes must come from the government.

Some of the greatest thinkers in the country are currently coming up with imaginative carbon cutting schemes, the implementation of which really wouldn’t alter our lifestyles that much. Electric cars, mass production of offshore wind-farms, huge investment in energy-efficient housing – all of these things are possible and would allow us to significantly cut carbon if they are properly funded by the government.

Climate change deniers are an increasingly rare species. The few that are left are mostly to be found hissing and spitting in the offices of the Daily Mail, rallying around Melanie “Mentalist!” Phillips. However, if you

are among their number, I urge you to read any serious magazine, or a science journal, or at least the words of environmentalists on the BBC website.

By 2020 it might already be too late You can argue about the temperature value of the point of no return; you can argue about the policies that should be implemented; you can argue about whose fault it is that, over a hundred years after the discovery of the greenhouse effect, almost nothing has been done to halt our descent towards climatic mayhem. But, surely, you can no longer argue, with any real substantiation, about the huge damage mankind is causing to the planet. As KT Tunstall so rightly says, “We are screwing it up.”

Travelling back in the (carbon friendly) coach I know that, as an individual, I have had absolutely no effect. But as one more face, a tiny part of the ever-growing amorphous mass of those who won’t sit back and watch the planet burn, maybe, just maybe, as the slogan of the March says: I count.

I will go back again next year and I hope – and expect – that Trafalgar Square will be gorged with a far greater amount of people than 20,000, and I won’t be able to get anywhere near it.

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19

JOBS & MONEY

NOVEMBER.20.2006 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

Which degree?

Gillian Roberts Jobs & Money Editor

A

Jobs and Money look at whether students’ degree choices are linked to increasing their employability status

s students are more and more aware that a degree cannot guarantee a place in the world of work, the decision of degree choice is becoming more important as some can help gain graduates a job more easily.

New UCAS research has reported that students are choosing their degree subjects on the basis that it can be easier to obtain a job post-graduation.

The results claimed that the degree subjects that have increased with students are maths, which is up 2.7 per cent, chemistry, with a rise of 3.7 per cent, languages, up 2 per cent, and chemical engineering, which has the highest increase of 8.8 per cent.

The findings have been commented

by Libby Steele, of the Royal Society of Chemistry: “The message has reached students and parents that a

degree in chemistry is not only a route through to a rewarding career in chemical sciences, but also a gateway to a whole range of careers.�

In comparison, degree schemes which are usually the most popular, like media studies, history and sociology, have seen a drop in numbers.

Sociology has had the biggest drop of 12.6 per cent, while media studies numbers have decreased by 8.1 per cent, and history by six per cent.

This follows from the summer when universities claimed that some courses they offer can practically guarantee a career. A spokeswoman for the University of Wales Institute Cardiff said: “There is a huge shortage of graduates for the food industry and students usually obtain guaranteed employment as they complete their degrees.�

However, although students are choosing more degrees that may enhance their chance of getting a foot on the careers ladder, some students who choose more specific degrees are

still finding it hard to find jobs in their area.

It is known that the government would like to have more school leavers attend higher education: their aim is to have 50% of young people in by 2010.

However, increasing the intake may cause even more jobless graduates as the industry will be stretched to take more people with degrees. This also pushes up the employability, and the need for students to obtain a first class degree to ensure a moderate job.

This year the number of students decreased as provisional figures has from UCAS have shown that 389,505 applicants were accepted this year in the UK, in comparison to 404,668 in 2005, and 375,530 in 2004. This could well be due to the introduction of topup-fees, or the fact that students are aware that even with a degree it is a challenge to find that dream job or a decent graduate wage.

ATTENTION ALL BAR AND WAITING STAFF

Become wanted: Go with Wales

I

f you missed the Go Wales graduate careers fayre which spanned across two days in early November, you missed a good opportunity to take an active stepping stone in helping you start your career. But don’t worry as Go Wales are not ‘going’ away anytime soon.

Go Wales are an organisation which works with the career service at Cardiff University to help students and graduates take active steps in getting in touch with suitable future employers.

Go Wales specialise in helping undergraduates find and take part in work experience, and provide work tasters and careers guidance to help students get a job post graduation.

Students can log onto www.gowales.co.uk to register and fill in their details, so that Go Wales can find any suitable placements for you to try.

At the careers fayre, Go Wales also had clinics and seminars on hand to aid students with their queries, including CV building

skills and careers advice. Yet if students missed this it is not the end of the world. Pop along to the careers service office on Corbett Road and talk to a careers advisor, who will tell you more about Go Wales and provide some excellent advice on any problems.

The media often criticise students for not being work-ready or not having a good enough employability, but Go Wales can help students change that. They can help undergraduates become aware of things that employers will want, and give students the chance to have some experience in the field they wish to work in one day.

Go Wales - www.gowales.co.uk Careers Service address: 5 Corbett Road, Cardiff, CF10 3EB Telephone: 029 20874828 Fax: 029 20874229 Email: careers@cardiff.ac.uk Website: www.cardiff.ac.uk/carvs

jobshop

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20 gairrhydd

HEALTH

NOVEMBER.20.2006 HEALTH@gairrhydd.COM

Scared shitless

It sounds funny, but for some people, toilet phobia is no laughing matter

Yousar Jafar on paracetamol and why it’s so effective

F

lu is rife at the moment and paracetamol being the only remedy for the common cold (as well as jugs of orange juice) is being swallowed like sweets.

Paracetamol is the most widely accepted medicine in the UK for relieving pain and fever with over 100 million packets of paracetamol sold in the UK alone, but has anyone wondered how such a cheap, over-thecounter drug actually works and why it's so effective?

100 years after the discovery of paracetamol, scientists continue to learn what the mechanism of action is that makes this drug such an effective and useful medicine.

Paracetamol is thought to work by blocking the production of chemicals called prostaglandins which are involved in pain transmission. The production of prostaglandins is part of the body's inflammatory response to injury. Aspirin and ibuprofen inhibit the production of prostaglandins by blocking cyclooxygenase enzymes (COX-1 and COX-2), however the blockage of these enzymes are known to be responsible for causing unwanted gastrointestinal side effects, which fortunately paracetamol does not cause and this is all due to the fact that the action of paracetamol targets the activ-

ity of the brain.

The newly discovered enzyme COX-3 is a variant of cyclooxygenase enzyme which may help explain the paracetamol mechanism. COX-3 is involved in the synthesis of prostaglandins therefore plays a role in pain and fever. However, unlike COX1 and COX-2, it appears to have no role in inflammation. Paracetamol inhibits the activity of this newly discovered enzyme and this is the reason why paracetamol has no side effects and is one of the safest drugs.

Further research is being carried out to determine exactly how this is done.

The recommended dosage of paracetamol is two 500mg tablets, with four hours between doses, and no more than eight tablets in 24 hours.

An overdose could lead to liver damage due to toxic effects but approximately 30 million people use paracetamol safely each year in the UK. So for those of you who are trying to recover from the aftermarth of freshers’ flu, do not underestimate paracetamol. This seems to be the case among many people due to its wide spread availability but it is the simple answer to get rid of those everyday headaches and pains we all experience during our lives.

A

campaign is being launched to raise awareness of the crippling impact of toilet phobia.

The National Phobics Society estimates at least four million Britons are affected - but the true number could be many more.

In some cases people refuse to leave their homes, and risk their health.

The society has classified the disorder as an anxiety condition in its own right, and is launching a self-help book and DVD. Toilet phobia can simply be manifested as a mild distaste for public loos, but some people develop such an intense obsession that they are left housebound, and may refuse to undergo potentially life-saving medical examinations.

They may deny themselves fluids, which can harm the kidneys, or take drugs to avoid "accidents".

Many sufferers will not even take a job if a toilet is located off a communal area and they can be observed going in or out.

Routine situations requiring the provision of a urine sample fill some patients with terror.

Experts believe that the stigma surrounding the phobia means that many people refuse to admit they have a problem.

The National Phobics Society (NPS) hopes its new campaign will go some way to tackling this issue.

It also argues the medical profes-

sion needs educating about toilet phobia in order to encourage sufferers to come forward.

Nicky Lidbetter, NPS manager, said: "Few people will talk about having an anxiety disorder in the first place, but for them to admit that they have a toilet-related phobia is rare because of the obvious embarrassment and humiliation of being laughed at or not being taken seriously.

"But, no matter how funny we might find it, it's certainly no laughing matter. We have to tackle this condi-

tion head on."

Professor Paul Salkovskis, a leading clinical psychologist, said part of the problem was society's squeamishness about going to the toilet.

"Around the world we use a lot of humour and euphemism to describe what is a basic human function.

"We say 'I'm going to the bathroom' or 'I'm going to powder my nose' because there is a taboo surrounding using the toilet."

Several conditions are thought to be the cause of toilet phobia: ■ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) linked to a fear of contamination ■ Agoraphobia - an anxiety disorder commonly - and wrongly linked to fear of open spaces, but which the National *Phobics Society says is often manifested as a fear of feeling trapped, and a need to escape ■ Paruresis ('shy bladder' syndrome) - the fear of urinating in the company of others ■ Parcopresis ('bashful bowel' syndrome) - the inability to defecate in public toilets Treatments include cognitive behaviour therapy, which helps people to break the cycle of faulty thinking, and hypnosis.

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21

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

NOVEMBER.20.2006 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

Officially the worst places to live in the world

3

1 Chernobyl, Ukraine Since the devastating meltdown of a nuclear power plant in Chernobyl in 1986, over five million people have been living in contaminated areas surrounding the blast.

It is estimated that one hundred times more radiation than the atom bombs dropped over Japan during the latter stages of world war war two was released into the atmosphere.

There is a 19-mile exclusion zone around the plant that is totally uninhabitable, and in the areas around this zone, levels of thyroid cancer in children have risen by an astonishing 90%.

After the explosion the reactor core was buried in a concrete casing to trap any further radiation and combustible materials. This casing was only a temporary measure, meant to last 20-30 years. Efforts to build a more permanent casing are continuing to this day. CM

2

Dzerzhinsk, Russia

Dzerzhinsk was the site of major chemical weapon production during the Cold War. Approximately 300,000 tons of chemical waste were released during this time. The waste contains elements of Sarin, mustard gas, and arsenic, all of which are highly toxic.

These chemicals have turned the local groundwater into a thick white sludge, the same groundwater that the city draws all of it's drinking water from. The average life expectancy in Dzerzhinsk is 45, and the death rate exceeds the birth rate by 2.6 times.

Plans are being drawn up for bringing clean water to the region, but the cost of such a huge engineering project means years before clean water reaches the city.

CM

Haina,Dominican Republic

This highly populated area is severely contaminated with lead from a closed down automobile battery recycling smelter.

Studies have found alarming lead levels in the Haina community, with blood and soil levels several orders of magnitude over regular limits. The contamination is caused by the past industrial operations of the nearby Metaloxa battery plant.

The most common symptom of Haina's pollution is lead poisoning, which affects children's health and development.

When the plant closed in March 1997, 116 children were surveyed, and again in August 1997, 146 children were surveyed and incredibly high dosages of lead showed up. Birth deformities, eye damage, learning and personality disorders, and in some cases, death from lead poisoning have also been reported at a higher than normal rate. LH

Kabwe, Zambia

4

The Capital of the Zambian Central Province is the fourth most polluted place on the planet. The city lies on rich heavy metal deposits like lead and cadmium, which have been exploited for over a century now.

Over the decades heavy metal ore dust kicked up from the mining processes and residues from unregulated smelting process has left pollution around the city.

Soil contamination by heavy metals is at levels regarded as highly toxic and the lead, cadmium and other toxic pollutants have made it into water sources used at times by local people to bathe.

The cleanup is quite complex due to the different contaminants present, not only the heavy metals, but residues left by their ores. Many of these sulphides and oxides can be just as dangerous as the metals.

The World Bank has given Kabwe Environmental and Rehabilitation Foundation (KERF) funds to clear up, and their work should commence next year. BG

La Oroya, Peru

5

An American owned polymetallic smelter in the Andes exposed the local population to toxic emissions for 84 years. 99% of children in the nearby town have dangerously high levels of lead in their bloodstream.

Due to harmful gas emissions from the plant, all vegetation in the area has been destroyed by acid rain, and damage to the soil means the situation will remain the same for decades.

Government plans to force a clear up in the area under the Clean Air Act have been put on hold, as the plants' owners have asked for a four year delay to give them time to produce an environmental management program.CM

Norilsk, Russia

6

Norilsk is an industrial city in the frozen tundra of Siberia, and is the second largest city in the Arctic. It is also the site of the world's largest heavy metal smelting complex, and as a result all snowfall is black, not white.

Scientific assessments on the impact or indeed levels of the pollution are sparse because of the city's remote location. What is known are the mortality figures. The percentage of deaths from respiratory diseases is twice as high as the Russian average.

Norilsk has been closed to all foreigners since November 2001, so it is impossible for an international aid program to be set up. Some Russian environmental groups have tried to set up remediation schemes, and have campaigned for a management plan. None of these proposals have been adopted by the Government to date.CM

Linfen, Shanxi Province- China

7

Shanxi Province is at the heart of China's enormous coal industry, providing two thirds of the nation's energy, and Linfen has been identified as one of Shanxi's most polluted cities with residents claiming that they choke on coal dust.

China's need for coal has led to the development of illegal and unregulated coal mines, steel factories and tar refineries which have diverted water and parched the land. Water is so tightly rationed that the provincial capital receives water for only a few hours each day.

Reports have discovered Linfen is the city with the worst air quality in China. The high levels of pollution are taking a serious toll on the health of inhabitants. Local clinics are seeing more cases of bronchitis, pneumonia, and lung cancer.

As with many environmental problems in China, strong resistance from business interests and corrupt officials has made improvement difficult to imagine. LH

Ranipet, India

8

A huge tanning factory in Ranipet is responsible for contaminated ground water in one of the largest urban areas of India. Over 1 million tons of solid waste - containing chromium - has been leaking into the water supply.

All wells and hand pumps in the area have been abandoned. The damage to irrigation systems in the surrounding agricultural land has lead to an 80% reduction in crop yields.

Without efforts to combat the spread of the toxins, the water basin which provides the main source of drinking water for the fourth largest urban area in India will be contaminated. CM

Dalnegorsk, Russia

9

A remote town in East Russia, contaminated with lead from an old smelter and mining works.

A recent study found that crops, houses and the water supply contained dangerous levels of lead. Young children are also displaying signs of mental abnormalities.

The smelter was shut down voluntarily after the Blacksmith Institute in America presented their findings on children's' health to the owner of the plant.

The local population is being educated in the dangers of lead poisoning as well as being regularly tested for signs of illness. No plan to clean up the area has been made so contamination of the land still remains a problem.

Mailuu-suu, Kyrgyzstan

10

One of the most densely populated areas in Central Asia is threatened by radioactive mining waste. A former soviet plant processed Uranium Ore in the area until 1968 and Mailuu-suu is left with a legacy of over thirty dumps, which leak heavy metals and emit Gamma radiation.

The area is susceptible to huge seismic activity, which can disturb the dumps and bring dangerous material into the populated area. The whole Ferghana Valley, with its millions of inhabitants, could be affected.

A scientific study in 1999 showed that the number of cancer sufferers in the region was twice as high as the rest of the country with farmers being exposed to significant levels of Radon.

The World Bank is now undertaking an intensive operation in Kyrgyzstan, including isolating the dumps from the water supply and improving the countries disaster preparedness. At the moment it is accepted that a disaster is imminent. CM

The pollution top 1 0

22 gairrhydd

MEDIA

NOVEMBER.20.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Dumbing down the public?

Concentrating too much on human interest stories sees the meaning of ‘news’ changing

W

hy does the media choose to communicate more and more human interest stories rather than inform us about today’s news? Would it not be more worthwhile to reveal truths about the world and report actual news that affect and inform the public?

If you type in the word “news” in a Google search engine, the result coming up defines it as ‘the essence of a community’s concerns, fears and joys’.

This seemed like a reasonable description of news a few years ago, but now the papers are rammed with stories about famous peoples’ personal lives.

In the past weeks the papers were dominated with stories featuring the McCartney divorce case as well as Madonna’s adoption of a Malawian child – does that really interest us? Our society has developed a desire to interfere into famous peoples’ lives and to create an opinion about it although it is no business of ours.

The magazine shelves in WH Smith keep expanding to cope with the increase of celebrity magazines.

Closer, Reveal, Now, Heat, First are

all examples of exclusive material of the ‘hottest celebrity news’ and the list goes on. Every year at least one new glam magazine can be added. This, in a way, reveals how much the public is interested and hungry for gossip and news about private lives, we cannot actually be satisfied by the existing number of magazines.

Despite being a total invasion of celebrities’ lives, we are subjecting ourselves to a deprivation of facts.

However, we cannot entirely blame reporters if we have little or no interest in learning.

Pose yourself this question: If you were waiting for an appointment, at the dentist or hairdressers’ say and there were two magazines on the table, a copy of the latest ‘Heat’ and a general magazine on a specialised hobby, what would you choose? Most people would choose the celebrity gossip version for light entertainment in a compact version of glossy pictures.

The same principle goes with television. If you had half an hour to spare would you choose to watch a repeat of ‘Friends’ you’ve probably seen umpteen times or a documentary on

crime in your local area?

Would you tune in to Radio 1 and listen to the same top 20 songs all day long or deliberately turn on Radio 4 at a particular time to listen to a political debate? As recipients of media we would always choose the easy option rather than educating ourselves and furthering our knowledge of the world.

Climate change is currently the most threatening problem worldwide.

Scientists have predicted that by 2025, two billion more people will not have access to water. Without creating a public panic, but shouldn’t the public have the right to know if there is anything they can do to prevent it and what is actually happening to our planet? But instead of informing, the media is dumbing us down with ‘soft’ news about irrelevant peoples’ private lives As receivers of media we are partly to blame. We find it fascinating to impose on other peoples’ lives. The desire to bring what should be in the private domain public is in human nature. It’s intriguing.

This explains why we love watching chat shows like Jeremy Kyle and Trisha. These talk shows thrive on selfdisclosure. Not only does it fulfil our wish to be nosey, it gives us a sense of security, knowing that our lives are better than others.

The media loves this because it’s cheap programming. If followed by a short documentary, these shows could be highly successful in bringing awareness about social issues, such as alcoholism and domestic abuse. However, these shows don’t really help people; they just encourage them to tell their life story in order to gain a profit.

The media knows what sells and use

Tama’s W are back in town

Jenna Harris Media Correspondent

Tamagotchi’s make their return after an initial launch a decade ago

hat a difference a decade makes. In 1996, the world was ruled by the Spice Girls, Pokemon and Tamagotchi.

Ten years on, the Spice Girls are gone for good, but the Tamagotchi is back with a vengeance.

Launched in the UK earlier this year following a cult success abroad, Tamagotchi Connect comes with a range of multimedia tie-ins, from an interactive website offering extra items to owners, to Nintendo DS games, and so far, it is succeeding. Its website, TamaTown.com, has 50,000 visitors a day. Michael Riley, vice president of its maker Bandai America Inc. claims that it adds “an entirely new and dynamic dimension to the brand, and is contributing to the overwhelming sales success of Version 3 to date.”

The original Tamagotchi was a global phenomenon that sold 40 million units during its 1996-1998 heyday,

this knowledge to their advantage.

Producers know there is no need to change the system if it is successful.

Reality shows are also the kind of cheap television programming that programme makers like. Shows like I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here and Celebrity Love Island were good the first time round, but have we seen enough? Celebrity Love Island even had to drop the ‘Celebrity’ bit from its title this year because the audience hadn’t heard of half of the contestants.

It gives us a sense of security, knowing that our lives are better than other’s This time last year you would have never heard of Pete Bennett or Nikki Grahame, but after appearing on Big Brother we now include them under the categorisation celebrities. Are we really interested in their relationship or do we just read about it to pass the time?

We used to be able to distinguish between hard news; politics, war, economics and crime and soft news; arts, entertainment and lifestyles. Now this differentiation appears narrower than ever. Is John Prescott’s sex life “politics” or “entertainment”?

When it comes round to election time we are asked to consider what we feel the most important issues are in Britain, all we can think about is whether the politicians can keep their trousers on.

but its appeal waned when competitors arrived selling rival products at half the cost. The Tamagotchi was finally removed from shelves in 1999 when children had had enough of the limited functions that it offered.

Tamagotchi Connect is on course to become the biggest selling toy this year The new version now allows owners to ‘connect’ with up to 45 other Tamagotchis within a certain radius, with the possibility of friendship and virtual procreation. Big things are anticipated by retailers, but this isn’t the first renaissance.

In 2004, they were remarketed as Tamagotchi Plus with a more basic version of the connect feature, and were declared Britain’s top selling toy

I’m not saying get rid of celebrity news altogether. If we did that these people would no longer be famous and let’s be honest we all enjoy listening to a good piece of gossip we can discuss with our friends.

It is a difficult choice in deciding what should be considered as newsworthy. News often appears depressing and sometimes we do hear things about celebrities that brighten our day.

However, this constant broadcasting of human-interest stories doesn’t appeal to the whole population. Surely the older generation does not care who’s slept with who, for example.

The media has a significant influence on us; the way we talk, think and behave. For example the reporting of the Boxing Day Tsunami a few years ago persuaded people to donate money. In fact, the British public gave more in terms of aid than the Government.

If used in the right way the media could change the world. Think of how Children in Need makes millions of pounds in one night by pledging for viewers to send in their cash, after showing moving clips of how unfortunate some people are and how these small donations change the lives of others forever.

The news should serve the public interest, including every gender, age, class, ethnicity and every other social category. The purpose of having a broadcasting system is to educate us and to offer opportunity to enrich our life culturally, providing access to entertainment, like art, music and drama. Information and entertainment are social benefits, rather than undermining our intelligence.

in 2005 for the playground by the British Toy and Hobby Association.

For this year it is similar, with the Guardian recently reporting that Tamagotchi Connect is on course to become the biggest selling toy this year and the Toy Retailers Association listing it as one of its ‘Hot Dozen Toys’ for Christmas.

It may now have a lower media profile, but Bandai is expanding its product range, having looked to the huge success of Nintendogs and consequently released successful versions of Tamagotchi on DS in Japan and America.

Further innovations are planned for the future: DS games will be more sophisticated, a mobile phone version for the American market and a clothing range. The question is, will it all be enough to maintain interest in a world where a LCD screen is no longer seen as the height of technology, or will its diversifying see it outlive its craze status and become as long lasting as any other toy?

gairrhydd

23

TAF-OD

NOVEMBER.20.2006 TAFOD@gairrhydd.COM

Rhyng-gol rhagorol Huw Pritchard Swyddog Materion

U

nwaith eto eleni, aeth criw niferus o fyfyrwyr Cymraeg Caerdydd tuag Aberystwyth i’r ddawns ryng-golegol.

Cychwynodd dau lond bws o gefn yr Undeb nos Wener gan gyrraedd Aber heb unrhyw drafferth (wel‌ bron)!

Clwb Yoko’s yng nghanol y dref oedd man cyfarfod yr holl brifysgolion ar y noson gyntaf ac yno cynhaliwyd Eisteddfod Dafarn.

Eleni, diolch i ddoniau yfed hogia’r

ail flwyddyn, criw’r Gym Gym gipiodd y wobr gyntaf gydag Aber yn ail‌ agos!

Fore ddydd Sadwrn, cafwyd gĂŞm bĂŞl-droed ar gaeau Blaendolau rhwng Aber a Chaerdydd - trechodd hogia’r Gym Gym griw Aber o chwe gĂ´l i ddau gan atgyfnerthu’r limrig “mai’r Gym Gym yn sicr yw’r goraâ€?.

Gyda phawb mewn hwyliau da ac yn dilyn canlyniad arbennig tim rygbi Cymru yn erbyn Awstralia, aeth pawb tua’r Undeb yn barod am y gig.

Yno, cafwyd perfformiadau cofiadwy iawn gan Pala, Bob a Cowbois Rhos Botwnnog, bu’r dorf yn dawn-

sio’n wyllt i griw’r Genod Droog cyn i hogia’ Aber eu hunain, Radio Luxembourg ddod ar y llwyfan i ddiddanu’r myfyrwyr. Cafwyd set hynod ganddynt â’r hen ffefrynnau - Lisa, Magic a Porfa a Pwer y Fflwer wedi plesio’n arw. Clo teilwng iawn i benwythnos gwych!

Bydd crĂ´l yn cael ei drefnu’n fuan tua diwedd mis Tachwedd cyn y ‘ball’ Nadolig blynyddol sy’n cael ei chynnal eleni yng Ngwesty’r Marriott.

Bydd mwy o wybodaeth yn yr ebyst yn y dyfodol agos. Os oes gennych unrhyw ymholiad, e-bostiwch ygymgym@hotmail.com.

Siarad Cymraeg? Tyrd at Taf-od!

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gairrhydd

25

TELEVISION

NOVEMBER.20.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

This Week’s Jamies amongst the Dannys: November 20th-26th

Coronation Treat Drama-arama as Frankie Goes To Oh-my-Golly-Gosh

HOT

Puff Pastry Mince Pies I’m worried I may be going soft, as I don’t find myself overcome with anger at all the Christmas paraphenilia around the place. But it may just be the existence of these little beauties that have calmed me down. Buy one get one free at Tesco. Thup.

Soaps Other than Coronation Street, here’s the gist: Hollyoaks: Steph’s a media star, Tony ends it with Jacqui, Becca returns. Eastenders: will Pauline die? Ben tries to come between Stella and Phil, Ian tests Jane’s loyalty, Rob isn’t happy to hear his wife is going to be Walford’s permanent GP. Home And Away: ANOTHER mystery killer, Matilda is rushed to hospital, Rachel discovers Kim’s betrayal, Tasha and Jack have a heart to heart. Emmerdale: Kelly puts money before her family, Tom tries to buy his way out of trouble, Pearl moves back in with Len, Betty accompanies lonely Turner to Terence’s funeral, Neighbours: Max hits and runs, Izzy gets life changing news at the doctor’s, Elle tells Cameron her illness is fake, Paul tries to lure Lyn into crime.

T

hough usually afforded just a small box west-wards, Soaps are taking over the front page this week - because Coronation Street brings us what can only be described as a STONKING WEEK!!

Right, so...Frankie used to babysit Jamie when he was a little nipper. Naturally, as is tradition with babysitters in soap operas, this led to Jamie’s father (Danny) leaving his mother to get with Frankie. Now we don’t have to feel bad about this, b e c a u s e Jamie’s real

Fudge Tunnel 224

mother is some sort of mental alcoholic. Fast-forward twenty-odd years and ‘The Baldwin Family’ move to Coronation Street, because Danny’s uncle (Mike RIP) is some massive pant-related millionaire, so he goes to work for him. By this time, Frankie’s had a stint in Bad Girls and been Jamie’s step-mother for a couple of decades, and Frankie and Danny have had a child themselves (his name is Warren and he’s a wanker,

a professional footballer and unimportant because the writers realised he was a rubbish character and so packed him off to Spain). Now, this is where things get good. Because Jamie got together with this slapper called Leanne, and, would you believe it, she ran off with his dad, Danny.

Frankie and Jamie found out.

Frankie left Danny and Danny and Leanne got together as a proper copuple and lived in a grotty flat, with Danny divorcing Frankie. Now, that obviously didn’t last, and they broke up and Leanne’s gone somewhere. I don’t know where.

But this is because Danny wants Frankie back. So they get back together, but she doesn’t really want to. For various reasons I’m sure, but one of the biggest reasons being OMGZZZ she’s fallen in love with her step-son Jamie.

(Some of this went on in The Rovers Return, pictured above left) That’s quite something isn’t it?

Well, just this week gone, Frankie and Jamie got it on proper like, and this week things go overboard with Danny catching Frankie (his ex-wife and step-mother to his son, remember) and Jamie (his SON!!) at it. And when I say “it” I mean IT!! Can you imagine? Well you don’t have to because: iTV1.

Monday and Wednesday and Friday and Sunday at 7.30pm, and also Monday at 8.30pm. Water Fight. I mightn’t watch it, but I will read about the aftermath in next week’s TV guide. Live it. x

DVDS TO RENT/BUY Mission Impossible III, as with any big dumb action film currently showing at your local big dumb multiplex, is essentially a selection of high octane set pieces tacked together with the scriptwriting equivalent of Pritt Stick. Money well spent on JJ Abrahms - fanboy action sequences "We need them to blow up the car here.. no a bigger explosion" with semi-witty dialogue (the majority of which was given to Ving Rhames, mysteriously) and a plot like a lemon - the more you twist, the more holes appear and the less flavour you get. But still, avert your gaze from these blatant schoolboy errors, and focus your attention squarely on the money shots. An entire building being blown up by a remote control van! Tom Cruise swinging on a piece of implausibly

thin rope between two Chinese skyscrapers.. Jonothan RhysMeyers (who looks more like Will Young in every film he's in) flying a helicopter that's being shot at through the blades of a wind turbine! Philip Seymour Hoffman!

Completely stupendous, nonsensical, unadulterated, mind-warpingly stupid entertainment. Yes please.

You can shove your back-story...

NOT

Soul Mates Just because you happen to be living with someone who also likes urinating into a shoe and listening to Kassabian, it doesn’t mean you’re soulmates, it just means you’re unlucky enough to have met another fucker like you. So don’t put their picture in a frame, or anything. Ok?

Film Pleasantville, BBC1, 11.35pm 1.35am. Cynical siblings Tobey Maguire and Reese Witherspoon are sucked into the squeaky-clean, black-and-white Fifties TV sitcom, Pleasantville. Soon, they’re influencing things and colour starts to appear. This playful satire has a brilliant premise and superb visual effects.

Sport England v South Africa is on Saturday Grandstand, starting at 2.10pm.To be honest I couldn’t give a shit about either team because I’m amazing, and amazing people basically don’t have any time for things like interntaional rugby in their day-to-day life. But enjoy the game anyway, you good-for-nothing fuck-faced anus tasters.

Radio ...obsessed Bonds and Batmans.

Give me Philip Seymour Hoffman being possibly the least terrifying villian in history, but still being the best person in it. Give me an entire scene in which Ethan Hunt (Cruise) breaks into a skyscraper to steal a stupid canister called "the rabbit's foot" and not see ANY of it, as they cut to RhysMeyers and Suzie Q carping on about her cat, instead! It's almost a joy to see so much money plumbed into such a vacuous hole of nothingness, and therefore I defy anyone not to at least half-enjoy watching this thoroughly entertaining waste of time.

7/10 says TV John. This review lovingly plundered from his blog.

As always.

26 gairrhydd

MONDAY

NOVEMBER.20.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Its Not Easy Being Green BBC2 8pm

Neighbours

Our Planet

Saddams Road to Hell

BBC1 5:35pm

BBC2 10.15am

Channel 4 8pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Bargain Hunt 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Chucklevision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm Krypto the Superdog 4:05pm SMart 4:35pm The Crust 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours There was uproar in my residence yesterday, I returned home to find my flatmates had not been able to watch neighbours for 20 minutes due to my energy saving obsessed flatmate turning the TV off at the mains. Naughty.

6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2006 7:30pm X-Ray 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Trauma This sounds most exciting, a fly on the wall series about the trauma room! This week one of the doctors tries to help someone with a flesh eating bug. Yum. 9:00pm New Tricks 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Graham Norton's Bigger Picture 11:15pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 11:45pm Raising Arizona 1:20am Sign Zone:Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 1:50am Sign Zone:The State Within 2:50am Sign Zone:Natural World

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Trollz 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Jungle 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Numbertime 10:45am Let's Write a Story 11:00am Look and Read 11:20am Testament: the Bible in Animation 11:50am Focus 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Watch: Barnaby Bear 1:15pm Something Special my new sparkly chest infection 1:30pm Coast: North East - Bamburgh 1:35pm The French Line 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm This World: Religion and Fashion - A Tale of Two Turkeys 8:00pm It's Not Easy Being Green Elves willies, they must be green.

8:30pm University Challenge 9:00pm Lock Them Up or Let Them Out the girl walking directly behind me today, so close if she were a man we would have been having bum sex. Bint.

10:00pm Have I Got Old News for You 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:05am This Life 12:50am The Witness 12:55am The Witness 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm King Arthur's Disasters 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Price Is Right 5:30pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Exclusive 6:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

10:00pm Dating the Enemy Some kind of sophisticated architect dates a laddette. Architects are about as sophisticated as a sparkly polka dot bandana from Primark covered in vomit after a night out at creation. Fact. Don’t even get me started on medic’s superiority complexes. You may be saving lives but I write essays on Buffy! Ha. 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Karaoke Queen 11:30pm Wales World of Rugby 12:00am 24 Hour Drinking - One Year On: Tonight 12:25am ITV Play: The Mint 4:25am Dial a Mum I’m feeling poorly and so am in optimum need of my mum for soup making purposes 5:00am ITV Nightscreen

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Underdogs 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Race 11:30am School of Hard Knocks 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:20pm King of Queens 1:50pm Kidnapped: the Elizabeth Smart Story This is a really interesting story but I shall tell you what happens because it clashes with Neighbours. This girl gets kidnapped from the bedroom she shares with her sister, when a local man kills himself they assume he did it. However the sister insists it was the plumber, who turns out to have a shady past. Suddenly Elizabeth starts getting spotted everywhere with plumber and his weird girlfriend at these religious orgy things. A year later she is found by police having been brainwashed to think she is someone else. Reunited with parents, everyone cries, the end. 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Best of FourDocs 8:00pm Saddam's Road to Hell 9:00pm Monarchy by David Starkey 10:00pm Without a Trace 11:00pm Bad Girls 12:50am Hollyoaks: In the City 1:50am World Cup SkiingMWonder: Sons and Soldiers 4:00am Extra 3 4:25am Extra

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Family Sins Thou shalt not set fire to thy Nan. Thou shalt not eat the last digestive biscuit and leave the packet in the cupboard so thy sister gets excited about them and then realises there’s none left. 3:40pm five news update 3:45pm Mystery Woman: Snapshot 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm Fifth Gear 9:00pm Disappearing Britain 10:00pm Tripping Over 11:05pm A Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex If you ever want to have sex again don’t watch this, but if you think the chances of that are slim to nothing then sit back and enjoy female friendly sex positions being demonstrated to you. What aren’t female friendly sex positions? Ones, which involve necrophilia or offend feminists?

11:50pm Swinging 12:20am NBA Action 12:45am ITU Triathlon 1:20am NFL Live: The Monday Night Game

7:00pm What Not to Wear In this season: Carrots. Out this season: Murder 8:00pm Honey We're Killing the Kids Revisited 9:00pm Dog Borstal 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Tittybangbang2 I’m as pro-feminist as the next bra burning lesbian however I don’t thing this is very funny. Women can be hilarious, look at Carol Voderman. Unfortunately just not these women. 11:00pm Little Britain 11:30pm Family Guy Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts.

Who are they gonna call?

Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom. Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said. 11:50pm Family Guy 12:15am Dog Borstal 1:10am Tittybangbang2 1:40am Honey We're Killing the Kids Revisited 2:40am Funny Business: Welcome To My World where everyday is like a flan in a cupboard.

7:00pm Sounds of the Seventies Shorts 7:10pm Doctor Who Cardiff celebrities: According to the Jonathan Ross show the guy from Torchwood likes to take his dogs for walks in a stroller in Cardiff Bay. If you’re ever bored and in the area go and have a little look. 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Day of the Triffids The alien plants have made everyone blind so they can eat them, which is a little bit rude.

9:00pm The Martians and Us Now an important question I feel... are incredibly nasal voices sexy, erotic and alluring or kinda gross and a massive turn off? Im hoping for the first one.

10:00pm The Quatermass Experiment 11:35pm The Kneale Tapes TV Neils tapes of himself air guitaring to Blink 182’s greatest hits. 12:15am Forty Minutes On my craving for yogurt covered raisins will have increased 1:15am The Martians and Us Flumpy Face

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Coronation Street 10:25am Emmerdale 11:25am The Montel Williams Show 12:15pm Coronation Street 12:45pm Coronation Street 1:15pm Emmerdale 1:45pm Emmerdale 2:15pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:25pm The Ricki Lake Show 5:15pm Sally Jessy Raphael 6:05pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 9:00pm Britain's Youngest Mums and Dads 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity...

11:30pm Coronation Street 12:00am Coronation Street

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with Nelly Furtado 8:00am Wake Up with Nelly Furtado 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Londoners 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Hollyoaks: In the City 10:00pm The Hole 11:55pm Russell Brand's Got Issues Strangely attractive if not for his stupid hair/birds nest 12:30am Invasion 1:20am Hollyoaks: In the City 2:20am Russell Brand's Got Issues 2:45am Queer as Folk 3:40am Reunion 4:25am Switched 4:45am Switched 5:30am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Underdogs 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Race 11:30am School of Hard Knocks 12:00pm News 12:30pm Planed Plant 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Clwb Cleber 1:15pm Supporting Acts 1:20pm Wild Thing I Love You 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant 4:25pm Planed Plant 4:50pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Y Briodas Fawr 9:15pm Beryl 9:30pm Cefn Gwlad 10:00pm Sgorio 11:05pm Y Clwb Rygbi 11:35pm Monarchy by David Starkey 12:35am The War at Home 1:00am Saddam's Road to Hell

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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TUESDAY

NOVEMBER.20.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

BBC1 3.25pm

Fifi and the Flowertots five 8am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Bargain Hunt 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm Krypto the Superdog 4:05pm SMart 4:35pm The Crust 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Watchdog 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Holby City 9:00pm A Child Against All Odds 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The Welsh in London 11:15pm Imagine 12:05am The Mother 2:00am Sign Zone:Coast 3:00am Sign Zone:Lost Cities of the Ancients 4:00am Joins BBC News 24 Peter: Hey I’ve got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You’ve got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.

Cleveland: Oh I got one; I never slept with a women with the lights on. (They all drink.)

Joe: I'll go next; uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife. (Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)

Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.(Only Quagmire drinks.)

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Desert 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Primary History 10:50am Primary Geography 11:10am Horizon 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Bobinogs 1:10pm Science Clips 1:20pm Science Clips Investigates 1:30pm Return to Tuscany 2:00pm am.pm 3:00pm The Flying Gardener 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It ! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Digging Deep 7:30pm Jamie Owens Welsh Journeys 8:00pm Bill Oddie's How to Watch Wildlife 8:30pm Heston Blumenthal: In Search of Perfection 9:00pm Rain in My Heart 10:40pm Newsnight 11:30pm Match of the Day Wales 12:10am This Life 12:50am This Life 1:35am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:AS Guru: Study Skills 3:00am AS Guru: General Studies: Programme 1 4:00am AS Guru: General Studies: Programme 2 Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I.

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm King Arthur's Disasters 4:30pm My Parents are Aliens 5:00pm The Price Is Right 5:30pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Exclusive 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Champions League Live 9:45pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm UEFA Champions League Highlights 12:00am ITV Play: The Mint 3:55am Mum's On Strike 4:35am The Jules and Lulu Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome any obstacle.

Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!

Brian: What the hell are you talking about?

I’m really lazy I know.

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Underdogs 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Sex 11:30am School of Hard Knocks 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:20pm Burgh Island: Checking into History 1:35pm From Hell to Texas 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks Meg: Oh my God, we're gonna die! There's so much of life I haven't experienced. I never even got the chance to be some drunk college guy's last resort.

7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Best of FourDocs 8:00pm It's Me or the Fat Dog 9:00pm Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares 10:00pm Jerry Maguire 12:35am Hollyoaks: In the City 1:40am South American Championship Football 2:35am Saddam's Road to Hell 3:35am Unreported World 4:00am Extra 2 4:25am Extra 2 4:50am Extra 2 5:15am Extra 2 5:40am Making It 5:45am Making It 5:50am Making It 5:55am Making It Genie: I am here to grant you three wishes.

Lois: Peter, three wishes. Oh this is so exciting.

Meg: I want a new hat.

Chris: I want a new hat.

Stewie: I want them to have new hats!

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Bird Bath 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Sam's Son 3:40pm The Brooke Ellison Story 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away Brian: I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection.

6:30pm In the Grid for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Tim Marlow on... Modern Art Oxford Peter: When she worries she says things like 'I told you so,' and 'Stop doing that, I'm asleep.'

8:00pm Jack the Ripper - The First Serial Killer: Revealed 9:00pm CSI: Miami 10:00pm CSI:NY 11:00pm Soup with some cheese just melting into it.

MacIntyre's Underworld 12:00am The FBI Files 1:00am NASCAR - Chase for the Nextel Cup 1:50am NBA Basketball 4:20am V8 Supercars 5:10am Race and Rally UK 5:35am Motorsport Mundial Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?

Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son.

And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

7:00pm The Apprentice USA 7:45pm Torchwood: Declassified 8:00pm Grime Scene Investigation 8:30pm The Indestructibles 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm The Catherine Tate Show 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Torchwood 11:20pm Tittybangbang2 11:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:50am The Indestructibles 1:20am Grime Scene Investigation 1:50am Torchwood 2:40am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:10am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:40am The Indestructibles ****About 33 drinks later**** Peter: God let’s see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligiance Quagmire: Oh God (Quagmire takes a drink.)

Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot

7:00pm Sounds of the Seventies Shorts 7:10pm Doomwatch 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Cult of...Doomwatch 9:00pm Mark Lawson Talks to Terry Pratchett 10:00pm The Crow Road 11:00pm The Crow Road 12:05am The Real Casino Royale 1:05am Nation on Film: Selling Cars 1:35am The Cult of...Doomwatch 2:05am Alison Jackson Talks to Kirsty Wark 2:35am Mark Lawson Talks to Terry Pratchett 3:35am The Cult of...Doomwatch to take home to choke me while I touch myself.

Quagmire: Oh come on!

(Quagmire drinks again.)

Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics?

Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous.

You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out) Its the Family Guy quote filler page!

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm About a Boy 10:00pm Dating The Enemy 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:30pm Entourage 12:00am The Office: An American Workplace 1:30am ITV Play: Playdate

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Westlife 8:00am Wake Up with... Westlife 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Irish I’m so excited about my potato and leek soup 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer 10:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 11:00pm Unanimous 12:05am Unanimous: The Fallout 12:40am Shameless 1:40am Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 2:40am One Tree Hill 3:20am Shameless 4:20am Switched 4:40am Switched 5:05am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Underdogs 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Sex 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Triongl 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Sali Mali 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Bws Parti 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Best of FourDocs 1:20pm Hitler's Holocaust 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Brodyr Adrenalini 4:15pm Planed Plant:Wap! 4:25pm Planed Plant:OFN 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Retro 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Y Briodas Fawr 9:00pm Y Byd ar Bedwar 9:30pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:35pm Monster 12:35am Without a Trace 1:30am Hollyoaks: In the City

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6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Bargain Hunt 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm Krypto the Superdog 4:05pm SMart 4:35pm The Crust 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Open All Hours 7:30pm Real Story with Fiona Bruce 8:00pm Traffic Cops 8:30pm DIY SOS 9:00pm The Brain Hospital Fly on the wall series following the work of consultants at the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery in London.

Dr Stefan Brew treats a man who has had a brain haemorrhage.

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:40pm Frontline Iraq In this edition, the troops move onto Baghdad.

11:10pm ONE Life 12:05am Pleasantville 2:05am Sign Zone:A Week of Dressing Dangerously A woman’s rebellious streak comes to the fore. 2:35am Sign Zone:A Child Against All Odds 3:35am Sign Zone:Digging Deep 4:05am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Desert 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am What the Ancients Did for Us 11:30am am.pm 1:00pm Lifeline 1:10pm Small Town Gardens 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Coast: Wales - The Gower, Rockpools and Dylan Thomas 2:15pm Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Making it Big on eBay 7:30pm Johnny Kingdom: A Year on Exmoor 8:00pm Oz and James's Big Wine Adventure series in which Oz Clarke attempts to teach Top Gear presenter James May how to appreciate fine wines, beginning with an examination of the produce of Bordeaux.

9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:20pm Look Around You 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm This Life 12:05am This Life 12:45am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Curriculum Bites: Science 11-14 4:00am Curriculum Bites: Science 14-16

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm Jungle Run 5:00pm The Price Is Right 5:30pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Exclusive 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street When Frankie tells Jamie that their affair is over, he begs her to stay and the pair end up in bed together - only for Danny to return home early from the pub.

Michelle joins in the tense darts match in the Rovers as the Underworld staff compete against the factory bosses.

Les follows Cilla to find out what she’s up to, and Eileen struggles to find out what she’s up to, and Eileen struggles to decide whether or not she wants to be baptised.

8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Glee Time 11:35pm Entourage 12:05am ITV Play: The Mint 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Underdogs 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Religion 11:30am School of Hard Knocks 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm Great British Brands 1:40pm In Love and War 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: FourDocs 8:00pm How Clean Is Your House?

8:30pm Your Money or Your Wife Last in the advice series. Cesarina HolmKande helps a 26-year-old sandwich shop owner who has run up debts of £50,000.

9:00pm Young@Heart One-off documentary about a New England based chorus group comprised of pensioners with an average age of 80. The group has gained critical success for their renditions of songs by bands such as Outkast, the Clash and Radiohead.

11:15pm Goldplated 12:20am Hollyoaks: In the City Ben has a run-in with Robbie. 1:25am Goalissimo! 2:25am World Cup Skiing 4:10am Trans World Sport Repeat 5:05am 3 Minute Wonder: Sons and Soldiers Repeat 5:10am Countdown 5:55am Inuk

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Where the Truth Lies 3:30pm Columbo: Troubled Waters 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Game Ranger Diaries Wildlife documentary series. In this edition, the park hosts the annual Safaricom marathon, with the rangers working hard to ensure the safety of the 700 runners and the animals.

8:00pm ASBO Teen to Beauty Queen Reality series following a group of tearaway teens from Manchester as they try to transform themselves into glamorous beauty queens. Tonight, Michelle Fryatt is disappointed by the apathy of two of the girls when they are asked to pick a charity to support.

9:00pm Snake Eyes Thriller. A corrupt Atlantic City cop tries to unravel an intricate conspiracy.

11:00pm Shock Docs: Autopsy 11 12:00am PartyPoker.com Aussie Millions 12:55am NHL Ice Hockey 3:30am UEFA Cup Football: Palermo v Newcastle 5:00am Seniors Golf

7:00pm The Apprentice USA 7:45pm The Real Hustle 8:00pm AI: Artificial Intelligence 10:15pm Family Guy 10:35pm Family Guy 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Ideal 12:30am The Real Hustle 1:00am Grime Scene Investigation 1:30am The Indestructibles 2:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:00am Dog Borstal This week, Wednesday’s listings come to you devoid of personality. Partially due to the fact mine is a life with so many TV listings but so little time, and partly because it is so much easier to just copy things word for word out of the TV Guide. But in attempt to keep things on a friendly, off-kilter level, I have flipped the listings for S4C upside down and back to front. Admittedly this was an accident, and I just don’t know how to fix it, but y’know.

7:00pm The Martians and Us Exploring the roots of British science fiction, known for its dark and edgy style.

8:00pm The World 8:30pm Valley of Song The orchestra plans a performance of Carmina Burana at the Newton House. 9:00pm Lonesome Dove Gus is wounded by Indians - forcing Call to leave the safety of the Montana ranch and attempt a rescue. 10:30pm Don't Watch That Watch This! 11:00pm Tracey Emin Talks to Kirsty Wark Interview with the outspoken artist, who was shortlisted for the Turner Prize in 1999. 11:30pm The Martians and Us Exploring the roots of British science fiction, known for its dark and edgy style. 12:30am Mark Lawson Talks to Terry Pratchett 1:30am Janine Di Giovanni Talks to Kirsty Wark 2:00am Don't Watch That Watch This! 2:30am Valley of Song 3:00am The Martians and Us Exploring the roots...

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Nanny 911 9:00pm Driving Mum And Dad Mad 10:00pm Coronation Street 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:30pm I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Live

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with Faithless 8:00am Wake Up with Faithless 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Manchester 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs JD is thrown out of his flat. 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Desperate Housewives 10:00pm Bo in the USA 10:50pm Star Stories 11:20pm Scrubs 11:50pm Scrubs JD imagines his life as a sitcom. 12:15am Goldplated 1:20am Sex and the City 1:55am No Angels 2:55am Star Stories 3:20am No Angels 4:20am Reunion 5:00am Switched 5:25am Switched Up!

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am School of Hard Knocks 9:30am Underdogs 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Religion 11:30am Bitesize Cymraeg Ail-Iaith 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Triongl 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Peppa Pinc 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Ding Dong 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Falmai y Fuwch 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Best of FourDocs 1:20pm Your Money or Your Wife 1:55pm How Clean Is Your House?

2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Clwb Winx 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Retro 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Glee Time

Young@Heart

Where The Truth Lies

ITV 11pm

C4 9pm

five 1.35pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

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29

THURSDAY

NOVEMBER.20.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

The Crust

Folk Dance

This Morning

Trouble in Paradise

Criminal Minds

BBC1 4.35pm

BBC2 10.50am

ITV 10.30am

Channel 4 10.35pm

five 10pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Bargain Hunt 12:00pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision I was going to bring in the FHM joke book that lives in our bathroom. It would have made my life much easier.

There are some pretty funny jokes in it.

Like, what did the leper say to the prostitute? You can keep the tip. I can’t really remember anymore. Most of them are quite long, too long to type.

They really are quite funny, and I don’t even read FHM. Maybe next week if you’re lucky. 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm Krypto the Superdog 4:05pm SMart 4:35pm The Crust 5:00pm Young Dracula 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Super Vets 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm The Innocence Project 9:00pm The State Within 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Dragon's Eye 11:05pm Question Time 12:05am This Week 1:05am Sign Zone:Child of Our Time: the Children's Stories 1:35am Sign Zone:Simon Schama's Power of Art 2:35am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Desert Diaries 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Let's Write Non-Fiction 10:50am Folk Dance 11:10am Around Scotland 11:30am Focus 11:50am Emotional Literacy 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Coast: Northern Ireland - Strangford Lough 1:05pm South Pacific 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Hi-de-Hi! 7:30pm A Pembrokeshire Farm 8:00pm Coast 9:00pm The Catherine Tate Show 9:30pm Lead Balloon 10:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Cricket: The Ashes 12:00am This Life 12:40am This Life 1:25am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:GCSE Bitesize Revision: English 3 - Reading and Writing 4:00am GCSE Bitesize Revision: Maths 3 Work this out you little shits: 5349674389454511222 -3697546632156x654444444455663 4647975+4455264973797576999442764454

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning This morning I woke up at 9.30, ready for my busy day ahead. I was lying in bed thinking about getting up when someone knocked the door at about 10. I thought, ‘shit! This might be one of my new t shirts’, so I grabbed some trousers and a shirt and ran down to answer the door. Was it my t shirt?

WAS IT FUCK... 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm Jungle Run 5:00pm The Price Is Right 5:30pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Exclusive 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Ferret 8:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

9:00pm Strictly Confidential 10:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Video Diary 11:30pm Waterfront 12:00am Free Ride 12:25am ITV Play: The Mint 4:10am Britain's Best Back Gardens 4:35am Redcoats 5:00am ITV Nightscreen

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Judah and Mohammad ... There was a man and a woman who stood in the pissing rain, and the woman asked, ‘Did I just wake you up?’ ‘Yes’ I said, to which she replied, ‘Oh well, nevermind.’ They didn’t say exactly what they were, they just started talking about God and stuff. It must have been obvious that I didn’t care but she just kept talking and asking me what I thought of God and co. If I had been more awake I would have thought of much better things to say...

10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Family 11:30am From the Top 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm The Savoy: Checking into History 1:50pm Battle for the Planet of the Apes 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Best of FourDocs 8:00pm River Cottage Road Trip 9:00pm The Queen Mother in Love 10:35pm Trouble in Paradise: The Pitcairn Story 11:35pm World Music Awards 2006 1:40am Hollyoaks: In the City 2:45am Do Bigha Zameen 5:00am Home Road

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news and Ashes Special Report 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:45pm Foxfire 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Panic in the Skies! 5:30pm five news and Ashes Special Report 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid ...the only good thing I said was in response to her asking me my religious beliefs. I told her, well if I did have any firm beliefs I wouldn’t go around telling people about them. She didn’t take the hint.

She just kept on talking. She told me that we’re going to a better place soon.

I asked where and apparently we’re staying on Earth but it’s changing.

God’s kingdom is coming here. ‘You’ve said the Lord’s prayer before haven’t you? On earth as it is in Heaven?’

That’s cool as long as people don’t come knocking on my front door at 9.30 every morning.

7:00pm five news and Ashes Special Report 7:15pm UEFA Cup Football 10:00pm Criminal Minds 11:00pm UEFA Cup Football 12:00am Football Night 1:00am The Great Big British Quiz 4:00am Football

7:00pm The Real Hustle 7:30pm Runaways 8:00pm Dog Borstal 9:00pm Brand New Honey We're Killing the Kids 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Pulling 11:25pm Tittybangbang2 11:55pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:55am New Dog Borstal 1:55am Pulling 2:50am Runaways 3:20am Runaways Oh fucking great.

The website that has pretty much every lyric to every song ever is down. What am I supposed to do know? Think of something to write? I don’t fucking think so. I will not pick a fight with you.

I'd be scared I'd foul it up. What with one of your arms, I could get busted up. Don't come around here angry. This is a house of water. You'll be cold and soaking wet, 'ere you leave here. Make a noise, crack a glass. I'll hold his arms, you fuck him. Fuck him with something, the fuck - he deserves it.

Stay here while I get a curse...

7:00pm Sounds of the Seventies Shorts 7:10pm The Avengers 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Up Pompeii 9:00pm Voyages of Discovery 10:00pm The Cult of...Doomwatch 10:30pm The Late Edition 11:00pm I, Claudius 11:55pm Voyages of Discovery 12:55am The Late Edition 1:25am Madonna Talks to Kirsty Wark 1:55am The Martians and Us 2:55am Voyages of Discovery ...To give him a goat head. Make him watch me take his place, night has brought him something worse. Lady and I we like to have our times. Tonight we spent ourselves. We ran it dry like sand, we had all there was to spend. I know one good site that has all the lyrics and chords to every Will Oldham song ever. That came to the rescue. I don’t know what I’m going to use for the other pages that I have to do. I’ll end up spending hours on google only to find shit websites that don’t help.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Movies Now 6:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:00pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 8:00pm Staff from Hell 9:00pm American Music Awards 2006 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:30pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Live

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with Johnny Knoxville 8:00am Wake Up with Johnny Knoxville 8:30am Whatever...

You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Scotland 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Scrubs 9:30pm The War at Home 10:00pm Blunder 10:30pm Star Stories 11:05pm Bo in the USA 11:40pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 12:10am Smack the Pony 12:45am Scrubs 1:15am The War at Home 1:45am Blunder 2:15am Star Stories 2:40am Bo in the USA 3:10am 8 Out of 10 Cats

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 9:00am School of Hard Knocks 9:30am Going Cold Turkey 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Family 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Triongl 12:40pm Pingu 12:45pm Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Meees! 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: FourDocs 1:20pm How Music Works with Howard Goodall 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:20pm Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:45pm Mama Mia 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm OFN 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Y Briodas Fawr 9:00pm Chez Dudley 10:00pm Ralio 11:00pm The Queen Mother in Love 12:35am Trouble in Paradise: The Pitcairn Story

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

30 gairrhydd

FRIDAY

NOVEMBER.20.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

The Slammer

Working Lunch

BBC1 4.55pm

BBC2 12.30pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Animal 24/7 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Bargain Hunt 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Arthur 3:55pm Krypto the Superdog 4:05pm Pinky and the Brain 4:30pm The Basil Brush Show 4:55pm The Slammer 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm A Question of Sport Tonight’s guests are former footballer Gary McAllister, cricketer Michael Vaughaan, speedway star Jason Crump and Great Britain rugby league international Paul Sculthorpe.

7:30pm Real Story with Fiona Bruce 8:00pm EastEnders 9:00pm Have I Got News for You 9:30pm Jam and Jerusalem 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross Tonight, Jonathan talks to rock star and actress Courtney Love about her biography Dirty Blonde and Jeremy Clarkson discusses his latest DVD The Good, The Bad, The Ugly. Plus, music from Juliette and the Licks, who perform their new single Sticky Honey.

11:35pm Honeymoon in Vegas 1:10am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Desert 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Razzledazzle 10:50am Primary History 11:10am Primary History 11:30am Primary Geography: Using the Land 11:40am See You, See Me 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:30pm North East Coast Berwick 1:35pm Flying Leathernecks 3:15pm Castle in the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Sudo-Q 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Beat the Estate Agent 7:30pm Christine's Garden 8:00pm Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 8:30pm Gardeners' World Specials 9:00pm Simon Schama's Power of Art 10:00pm QI 10:30pm Newsnight 11:00pm Cricket: The Ashes 11:35pm Later with Jools Holland 12:45am Living Famously 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:Ever Wondered about Food?

2:30am Renaissance Secrets 3:00am Renaissance Secrets 3:30am Renaissance Secrets 4:00am Renaissance Secrets 4:30am Private Lives

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning In today’s edition, interior designer Kelly Hoppen throws open the doors of her stylish penthouse, while presenters Ruth Langsford and Phillip Schofield reveal how viewers can support their local hospices at Christmas. 12:00pm This Morning: I'm a Celebrity Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson's Real Deal 3:30pm Pocoyo 3:35pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:55pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel's Boys 4:30pm The New Worst Witch 5:00pm The Price Is Right 5:30pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Exclusive 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale Matthew warns Rosemary to stay away from the family business, while Chas queries her reasons for leaving Oakwell Hall.

7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Tonight with Trevor McDonald 8:30pm Airline 9:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!

10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm It's My Shout 11:30pm Casino Royale Premiere Special 12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:25am Too Many Cooks 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Bobby Friction: Generation 7/7 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Pets 11:30am From the Top 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm Checking Into History 1:45pm The Dish 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks Louise decides to expose Warren’s drug taking.

7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:35pm Unreported World 8:00pm Unanimous Game Show. The pressure is on for the remaining contestants as one of them is chosen to take a lie-detector test.

9:00pm The Simpsons 9:30pm The Simpsons 10:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:35pm Blunder Comedy sketches starring David Mitchell. Tonight, a 2,000-year-old returns to life.

11:05pm The Russell Brand Show The stand-up comedian presents sketches, celebrity interviews and topical chat.

11:55pm Man to Man with Dean Learner 12:30am The Album Chart Show 1:00am There We Were... Now Here We Are: The Making of Oasis 2:10am Gumball 3000 2:35am Partypoker.com Late Night Poker Masters 3:35am World Cup Snowboard 5:25am Countdown

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news and Ashes Special Report 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm For All Time 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Heart Full of Rain 5:30pm five news and Ashes Special Report 6:00pm Home and Away Rachel confronts Kit and Kim about their relationship, while Jack and Tasha discuss their feelings.

6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news and Ashes Special Report 7:30pm Pimp My Ride UK Motoring makeover series. Tonight, the team transforms a 1959 Ford Anglia for a rockabilly fan with the addition of a customised grille, neon lights, new denim seat and a Fifties-style jukebox.

8:00pm I Spy Espionage action comedy. A secret agent finds himself partnered with an arrogant middleweight boxing champion on his latest mission.

10:00pm From Hell 12:25am Private Parts - The Trouble With My Vagina Documentary in which women share stories of suffering genital injuries, including waxing accidents.1:25am The Great Big British Quiz 5:35am Wildlife SOS

7:00pm The Real Hustle Stealing valuables from jackets in busy bars.7:30pm Robin Hood Double-bill.

The peasants’ hero plans to give the villagers an unexpected windfall.

8:15pm Robin Hood The outlaws increase their number after allying with a rival band led by Allan-a-Dale’s brother. 9:00pm Torchwood The team investigates a spate of gruesome deaths.

9:50pm Torchwood: Declassified 10:00pm EastEnders 11:00pm Tittybangbang2 Double-bill. Jackie takes advantage of Nikki. 11:30pm Tittybangbang2 Paula the twitching darter gets a boyfriend. 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:00am Torchwood 1:50am Tittybangbang2 Double-bill.

Jackie takes advantage of Nikki.

2:20am Tittybangbang2 Paula the twitching darter gets a boyfriend.

2:50am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

7:00pm Voyages of Discovery The first ever circumnavigation of the world.

8:00pm The World 8:30pm Nation on Film: Package Holidays New Episode.

A look at the use of film to promote and record package holidays. 9:00pm Legends: Vera Lynn - Sincerely Yours The rise to stardom of the singer fondly remembered as the Forces’ Sweetheart for her World War Two radio broadcasts. 10:00pm Rock Goes to College: The Police A 1979 gig by the band at Hatfield Polytechnic. 10:30pm QI New episode of the quiz. Tonight’s guests are Graeme Garden, Johnny Vaughan and Phil Jupitus. 11:00pm Don't Watch That Watch This! 11:30pm The Avengers 12:20am Legends: Vera Lynn - Sincerely Yours 1:20am Nation on Film: Package Holidays 1:50am Don't Watch That Watch This! 2:20am Voyages of Discovery 3:20am Legends: Vera Lynn - Sincerely Yours Same as earlier.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am ATOM 8:25am Sabrina's Secret Life 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Judge Judy 5:45pm Movies Now 5:55pm The New Adventures of Superman 6:55pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 7:55pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 9:00pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 10:00pm Dating the Enemy 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now!

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... David Schwimmer and Simon Pegg 8:00am Wake Up with... David Schwimmer and Simon Pegg 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Liverpool 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm The OC 3:00pm Reunion 4:00pm Scrubs 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Scrubs 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 10:00pm Unanimous: The Fallout 10:30pm The Hole 12:25am Porn: A Family Business 1:00am Stop Treating Me Like a Kid 2:05am The OC 2:50am Porn: A Family Business 3:15am Reunion 4:00am Switched Up! 4:20am Switched Up!

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 9:00am Life Stuff: From the Top 9:30am Bobby Friction: Generation 7/7 10:30am Teen Tycoons 11:00am Hardeep Does Pets 11:30am Life Stuff: From the Top 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Triongl 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Penblwydd Pwy 1:00pm Tecwyn y Tractor 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Best of FourDocs 1:20pm It's Me or the Dog 1:55pm Cooking It 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.005.00):Beyblade 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):O Na! Y Morgans 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O'Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Uned 5 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Y Briodas Fawr 9:00pm Yr Anthem

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31

SATURDAY

NOVEMBER.20.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Casualty

Monk

Trading Treasures

Pink Panther

Columbo

BBC1 8.45pm

BBC2 3.55pm

iTV 4.35am

C4 4pm

five 11.30am

6:00am Breakfast 10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am Rachel's Favourite Food at Home 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:10pm Football Focus 1:00pm Grandstand 1:05pm Moto GP: Season Review 2:10pm International Rugby Union 4:30pm Wales on Saturday 5:15pm My Family 5:45pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 6:05pm Strictly Come Dancing 7:10pm Robin Hood 7:55pm The National Lottery: In It to Win It 8:45pm Casualty It always surpirses me how little there is on TV on a Saturday. I can’t remember the last time I watched TV on a Saturday night though. I’d rather stare at a computer screen for hours than watch the shite thats on. Actually, On Demand has been the best bit of my television experience so far this year. Take last night for example. There was nothing good on so I decided to watch Honey We’re Killing the Kids. That’s quality television. After 55 minutes of that I realised that On Demand could offer me the best bits of Channel 4 too. Young Black Farmers wasn’t as exciting so I went on the net. If I could afford it I’d probably get Sky plus. Actually I might just get Sky Sports. I’d never be bored if I had that.

9:35pm Strictly Come Dancing 10:00pm BBC News; Weather 10:20pm Match of the Day 11:30pm Shiner 1:05am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 2:05am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Me Too! 6:20am Bob the Builder 6:30am Big Cook Little Cook 6:50am Bob's Mini Projects 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Astro Boy 7:30am Dennis the Menace 7:55am BB3B 8:15am Legend of the Dragon 8:40am What's New Scooby-Doo? 9:00am TMi 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm See Hear 12:45pm The Flying Gardener 1:05pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 1:35pm Star Trek 2:25pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 3:10pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 3:55pm Monk 4:35pm What the Papers Say 4:45pm International Rugby Union 7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm On Show I’ve got to go to a Chaucer seminar in 40 minutes. I don’t think I’ll have this page finished by then. I just might not go. Missing lectures isn’t something i do often, although I overslept for my 9 o’clock ealrier this week. I hadn’t even been out the night before.

8:50pm The Culture Show 9:40pm Into the West 11:10pm Have I Got News for You 11:40pm Cricket: The Ashes 12:20am Carry On Behind 1:50am The Witness 1:55am The Witness 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:Hidden Visions 2:30am Lifelines 3:00am Sickle Cell a Lethal Advantage 3:30am Lost Worlds 4:00am Making Contact 4:30am Open Advice: A Meeting of Minds 5:00am After the Genome

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:20am Pocoyo 6:30am Little Einsteins 6:55am Dora the Explorer 7:20am Lilo and Stitch 7:55am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:15am Biker Mice from Mars 8:50am Avatar 9:25am CITV:Spongebob Squarepants 9:40am CITV:The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 9:50am CITV:Horrid Henry 10:00am CITV:Shuriken School 10:30am CITV:Drake and Josh 11:00am CITV:Skyland 11:30am CITV:The New Adventures of Superman 12:30pm ITV News; Weather 12:40pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:45pm The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie 2:50pm Agatha Christie's Murder in Three Acts 4:40pm ITV Wales News and Weather 4:55pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:10pm All New You've Been Framed! 5:40pm Who Wants to Be a Millionaire 6:25pm The X Factor 7:55pm All Star Family Fortunes 8:45pm The X Factor - The Result 9:20pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! I said it last week and I’ll say it again this week. I can’t stand this fucking show. I like Big Brother but I really hate celebrities who go on shit reality TV shows. At least this is better than Love Island. That was a proper bag of wank.

10:50pm Parkinson 11:50pm ITV News 12:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:35am Trading Treasures 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am FIA GT Championship 7:30am Freesports on 4: Surfing 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:Futurama 9:20am T4:Chancers 10:30am T4:Popworld 11:30am T4:Friends 12:00pm T4:Friends 12:30pm T4:Pink: T4 Icon 1:00pm T4:Charmed 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Newbury and Newcastle 4:00pm Revenge of the Pink Panther 5:55pm Channel 4 News 6:20pm How Music Works with Howard Goodall 7:20pm Touching the Void This is either: a. About the people who climbed Everest and nearly died because something went horribly wrong, or b. About having a turtle’s head. Touching the void is like touching cloth but maybe not as bad. It might be the early stages of nearly shitting your pants, before the nugget actually touches your pants. I don’t know which is worse, nearly dying on Everest or shitting your pants. If you did shit your pants you wouldn’t want a documentary about it. That would be very embarassing. Worse than death.

9:20pm Underworld 11:40pm 4 Music:Damien Rice: Video Exclusive 11:45pm 4 Music:U2 Vertigo Live 12:50am 4 Music:4Music Presents... 1:25am 4 Music:4 Play 1:40am South American Championship Football 2:35am How to Make a Monster 4:05am Reasons to be Cheerful 4:15am Tony Benn: Interviewing the Interviewers 5:15am Countdown

6:00am Sunrise 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:10am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Old Bear Stories 7:35am Rupert Bear 7:50am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:35am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:05am Jane and the Dragon 9:35am Blue Water High 10:05am Hercules: Legendary Journeys 11:05am Harry and Cosh 11:30am Columbo: A Matter of Honor 1:05pm Columbo: Murder by the Book 2:40pm Make Me a Supermodel: The Best Bits 3:45pm The Christmas Takeover 5:30pm The Spy Who Came in from the Cold 7:25pm five news and Ashes Special Report 7:45pm NCIS 8:40pm NCIS 9:35pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:35pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:35pm Conan the Destroyer 1:30am The Great Big British Quiz 5:35am Wildlife SOS TV Neil had to go to a lecture and so I was all like “nah TV Neil, don’t worry about coming back to finish off your page, I’ll do it”, thinking that I’d be able to just copy stuff out of the TV Guide. BUT THEN I realised that the TV Guide only runs up until Friday and this day is Saturday, which is after Friday most weeks, and, just my luck, that includes this one. Boo hoo. With nothing more than a bottle of water and a pack of Hob Nobs to see me through.

7:00pm International Rugby Union 8:00pm Walking with Beasts 9:00pm Top Gear 10:00pm Torchwood 10:55pm Torchwood 11:45pm Torchwood 12:35am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:05am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:30am Family Guy 1:50am Family Guy 2:15am Family Guy 2:35am Family Guy 3:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Incase you struggle with the bold, here’s those listings again in normal font: 7:00pm International Rugby Union 8:00pm Walking with Beasts 9:00pm Top Gear 10:00pm Torchwood 10:55pm Torchwood 11:45pm Torchwood 12:35am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:30am Family Guy 1:50am Family Guy 3:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

7:00pm Cosi fan tutti 10:10pm The Quatermass Experiment 11:45pm The Martians and Us 12:45am The Late Edition 1:15am British Documentary Awards 2006 2:20am The Quatermass Experiment And for BBC Four, a variety of different styles: 7:00pm Cosi fan tutti 10:10pm The Quatermass Experiment 11:45pm The Martians and Us 12:45am The Late Edition 1:15am British Documentary Awards 2006 2:20am The Quatermass Experiment, 7:00pm Cosi fan tutti 10:10pm The Quatermass Experiment 11:45pm The Martians and Us 12:45am The Late Edition 1:15am British Documentary Awards 2006 2:20am The Quatermass Experiment, 7:00pm Cosi fan tutti 10:10pm The Quatermass Experiment 11:45pm The Martians and Us 12:45am The Late Edition 1:15am British Documentary Awards 2006 2:20am The Quatermass Experiment

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald's Farm 8:25am Mags and Mo 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:50am The Wheels on the Bus 9:00am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:10pm Coronation Street Omnibus 2:35pm Holiday Showdown 3:35pm Nanny 911 4:25pm The New Adventures of Superman 5:25pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 6:25pm Nanny 911 7:25pm Planet's Funniest Animals 7:55pm Xtra Factor 8:45pm Planet's Funniest Animals 9:20pm Xtra Factor: Results 9:50pm Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares 10:50pm I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11:50pm Oasis: Lock the Box 12:50am The X Factor 2:20am The X Factor - The Result 2:55am ITV Play: Playdate 3:40am Emmerdale Omnibus 3:40am Emmerdale Omnibus

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 9:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 11:00am All Saints' Favourite Girl Bands 12:00pm Westlife's Favourite Love Songs 1:00pm Westlife's Favourite Love Songs 2:00pm The Album Chart Show 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:35pm Friends 6:05pm Wife Swap 7:05pm Invasion 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm 100 Greatest Movie Stars 12:40am Porn: A Family Business 1:20am Porn: A Family Business 1:55am Bo in the USA 2:30am Wife Swap 3:30am Invasion 4:10am The Album Chart Show 4:35am Switched Up! 4:55am Switched Up! 5:15am Switched Up! 4:10am The Album Chart Show 4:35am Switched Up! 4:55am Switched Up! 5:15am Switched Up!

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am FIA GT Championship 7:30am Freesports on 4: Surfing 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Futurama 9:20am Futurama 9:50am The Simpsons 10:15am All Saints: T4 Special 10:45am Charmed 11:35am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 12:25pm The Beverly Hillbillies 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Newbury and Newcastle 4:00pm The Simpsons 4:25pm Yr Anthem 4:30pm Y Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol 7:00pm Y Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol 7:30pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 8:05pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 8:20pm Y Briodas Fawr 9:55pm Beryl, Y Briodas a'r Fideo 10:05pm CNEX 10:20pm Underworld 12:40am Blunder 1:10am Infernal Affairs 3:00am Mad Cows 4:40am Gumball 3000 5:05am KOTV 10:20pm Underworld 12:40am Blunder 1:10am Infernal Affairs 3:00am Mad Cows 4:40am Gumball 3000 5:05am KOTV 4:40am Gumball 3000 5:05am KOTV

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SUNDAY

NOVEMBER.20.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

BBC1 11.45pm

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire ITV2 11am

6:00am Breakfast 7:45am Match of the Day 9:00am Sunday AM 10:00am Heaven and Earth with Gloria Hunniford 11:00am Countryfile 12:00pm The Politics Show 1:00pm 'Allo 'Allo! 1:25pm Keeping Up Appearances 1:55pm Murder, She Wrote 2:40pm EastEnders 5:05pm Points of View 5:20pm Robin Hood 6:05pm Songs of Praise 6:45pm Antiques Roadshow 7:35pm BBC News; Weather 8:00pm The Great British Summer 9:00pm Planet Earth 10:00pm BBC News; Weather 10:15pm Panorama 10:55pm The BBC One Sessions 11:45pm Tough Guys 1:30am Sign Zone:Holby City 2:30am Sign Zone:The Great British Summer 3:30am Sign Zone:Antiques Roadshow 4:20am BBC News 24 Ladles and Jellyspoons, I am going to be honest with you. It's taken me an hour and a half, two trips to the toilet and a cigarette on the balcony before I've been able to summon the testicular fortitude to actually get typing. You see, readers, this is my first time.

These words before you signify the popping of my gair rhydd cherry - the loss of my journalistic virginity. I consider myself lucky that the TV desk is sensitive lover, warm and accomodating, like your favourite stuffed toy from childhood, or a downy soft basket of ducklings. I was welcomed with a tenderness that I didn’t expect, with open arms and smiling faces....

6:00am CBeebies:Me Too! 6:20am Bob the Builder 6:30am Big Cook Little Cook 6:50am Bob's Mini Projects 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Legend of the Dragon 7:30am Smile 10:00am Something for the Weekend 11:30am Malcolm in the Middle 11:50am Malcolm in the Middle 12:15pm Animal Park 1:00pm Sunday Grandstand 1:05pm World Trampolining Championships 1:35pm International Rugby Union 2:30pm International Rugby Union 4:40pm Rugby League: Tri-Nations Final 5:30pm Scrum V 6:20pm Storm Geese 6:30pm Shark Therapy 2 7:00pm Strictly Come Dancing 8:00pm The Accidental Angler 9:00pm The Catherine Tate Show 9:30pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:00pm Match of the Day 2 11:10pm Cricket: The Ashes 11:50pm American Dad 12:35am Initiation 2:00am BBC Learning Zone 3:00am Building Bridges 4:00am Bionic Buildings 5:00am Design Matters I have learned a lot in my short time at the TV Desk. It was TV Gareth that bestowed upon me the mantra by which I have written this page, namely: ‘Just don’t think’. Wise words indeed. I have also learnt that if you are struggling to fill space, it’s as easy as repeating a word over and over to make a point. For example: I have also learned that macs are really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really pants. Beautiful.

6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:25am Power Rangers SPD 7:55am Totally Spies! 8:30am Emperor's New School 9:05am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am CITV:Art Attack 9:50am CITV:Planet Sketch 10:00am The Championship 11:00am The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 12:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:05pm The Way We Worshipped 12:35pm The Way We Worshipped This is a double bill not to be missed because, let’s face it, they don’t do religion like they used to. I’m thinking a bit of ritual sacrifice, maybe even footage of a witch burning. If not actual footage, a reconstruction will do me. 1:05pm Planet's Funniest Animals 1:35pm The X Factor 3:05pm The X Factor - The Result 3:40pm The South Bank Show 4:40pm Wales Soccer Sunday 5:10pm All Star Family Fortunes 6:00pm The Road That Changed Wales 6:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:40pm ITV News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Heartbeat 9:00pm I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! Is this back on on AGAIN? 10:30pm ITV News 10:45pm The South Bank Show 11:45pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 12:15am It's My Life Revisited 1:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am Trans World Sport 7:30am World Cup Skiing 8:25am Red Bull Air Race 2006 8:55am T4:Popworld 9:40am T4:Friends 10:15am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:45pm T4:Chancers 1:45pm T4:Friends 2:15pm T4:The Simpsons 2:50pm T4:Smallville: Superman the Early Years 3:50pm T4:Charmed 4:50pm Wild Thing I Love You 5:50pm Deal or No Deal My sister went to see this being filmed the other day. She sat in the audience and admired Mr Edmunds’ crinkly bottom.

Hah! I’m only joking, it wasn’t crinkly at all, she said it was firm, like mutton.

Quite how she knows this I am unsure but as I have resolved to not think for the duration of this page then I’ll leave it up to you to decide. 6:40pm Codex 7:40pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm Ghost Busters 10:00pm Madonna: Confessions Live From London I’m surprised that Channel 4 think they can fit all of Madonna’s confessions into a paltry hour and forty five minutes. I would have allotted at least three straight days. She’s been around, man...

11:45pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 12:20am Partypoker.com Late Night Poker Masters Stop thinking about Noel Edmunds and my sister. 1:50am Red Bull Air Race 2006 2:45am The Album Chart Show Stop it. 3:10am FIVB Beach Volleyball 2006 4:05am KOTV 4:35am South American Football No really, come on, enough is enough.

6:00am The Save-Ums! 6:10am Rolie Polie Olie 6:35am Sailor Sid 6:45am MechaNick 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:10am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Rupert Bear 7:40am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:30am The Secret of Eel Island 9:45am Demolition Dad 10:00am Round the Twist 10:30am Over the Sea to School 11:05am Snobs 11:35am Michaela's Wild Challenge Michaela Strachan is, quite simply, one hell of a woman. I had the biggest childhood crush on her after The Really Wild Show...Michaela, if by some chance you are reading this, I still definitley would... 12:05pm A Different Life 12:35pm Revelations 1:05pm five news update 1:15pm Built for the Kill 1:50pm Hawaii 5:10pm five news and Ashes Special Report 5:30pm Too Late the Hero 8:00pm Victoria Cross Heroes I9:00pm Ali 12:00am Muhammad Ali Special - The Rumble in the Jungle 12:35am Adventure Triathlon 1:00am NFL Live 4:40am Football Argentina If, for some reason, you’re still thinking about Big Noel and my little sister, then there’s something wrong with you. I’ll give you ten seconds to stop thinking about it and if you don’t then I’m going to come out there and find you. You’re a sick, sick individual and I’m not happy about this at all. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2....

7:00pm Robin Hood 7:45pm Catch Me If You Can 10:00pm Torchwood 10:50pm Pulling 11:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:50am Torchwood 1:40am Torchwood: Declassified 1:50am The Real Hustle 2:20am The Real Hustle 2:50am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps I can’t believe I have got this far without introducing myself!! How very, very rude of me, may I offer my sincerest and humblest apologies. Thing is, I’m having a bit of an identity crisis at the moment.

Ideally, I would have gone for the classic ’TV + insert name here’ which would leave me with ‘TV John’. But there’s already a TV John, see, and the only way of using my birth name would be to put a qualifier on it, so as not to confuse you all. And balls to having like New John or John Jr. Screw that. So..

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm Legends: Vera Lynn - Sincerely Yours 9:00pm Ray Gosling: OAP 10:00pm Planet Earth: The Future 11:00pm Cathy Come Home 12:20am Ray Gosling: Moving On 12:50am Ray Gosling: Bankrupt 1:50am Ray Gosling: Pensioned Off 2:50am Ray Gosling: OAP ...what I’m thinkin’ is that, because of my extraordinary laziness and the fact that this page has taken me far too long to write already, I can’t be arsed to think of a funny, witty, clever and original name. I can’t be arsed to even think of a name at all.

As such, I am throwing the gauntlet down to you. Send your suggestions to tv@gairrhydd.com and I will adopt the best one as my persona for any TV page I write. Promise. This is, of course, presuming that I’m allowed to write another TV page after that whole bit about Noel Edmunds shagging my sister. Take it easy!

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 6:25am Mopatop's Shop 6:35am Engie Benjy 6:45am Fun Song Factory 6:55am Pocoyo 7:00am Fun Song Factory 7:20am Power Rangers Space Patrol Delta 7:55am Totally Spies! 8:30am Emperor's New School 9:05am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am Movies Now 9:35am Planet's Funniest Animals 10:05am The New Adventures of Superman 11:00am Who Wants to Be a Millionaire 11:50am All Star Family Fortunes 12:40pm Emmerdale Omnibus 3:30pm Coronation Street Omnibus 5:50pm American Music Awards 2006 7:20pm The X Factor 10:00pm Entourage 10:30pm I'm A Celebrity... 11:30pm The Office: An American Workplace 12:00am Coronation Street 12:30am Entourage 1:00am The Office: An American Workplace 1:30am ITV Play

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 9:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 10:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 11:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 12:00pm Nothing but Oasis 1:00pm Nothing but... Mancs 2:05pm Popworld 2:55pm (Moto) Red Square Featuring Scissor Sisters 4:00pm Young, Sexy and... Soapy 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm The War at Home 7:00pm One Tree Hill 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ghost Whisperer 10:00pm Bring Back... The A Team 11:15pm Hollyoaks: In the City 12:20am Scrubs 12:50am The War at Home 1:20am Ghost Whisperer 2:15am Hollyoaks: In the City 3:15am One Tree Hill 3:55am Popworld 4:40am Switched Up! 5:00am Switched 5:20am Switched Film Ewen just touched my balls. Cold hands.

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am Trans World Sport 7:30am World Cup Skiing 8:25am Red Bull Air Race 2006 8:55am Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:30am Charmed 12:30pm Yr Wythnos 1:00pm Maniffesto 1:30pm Rownd a Rownd 2:00pm Rownd a Rownd 2:30pm Bandit 3:00pm Codex 4:00pm 04 Wal 4:30pm Chez Dudley I believe this to be a French restaurant in the West Midlands. Get it? Got it? Good.

This joke has no doubt been made before. Sorry. I5:30pm Newydion I’ll give you ten seconds to stop thinking about it and if you don’t then I’m going to come out there and find you. You’re a sick, sick individual and I’m not happy about this at all.

5:35pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 7:30pm Joni Jones See Jones Jones Jones 8:00pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 8:30pm Cefn Gwlad 9:00pm Jones Jones Jones Wow, Jones Jones Jones AND Joni Jones both on in one day! Fantastic. 9:30pm Newyddion

Tough Guys

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The Jeremy Kyle Show ITV1 4.05am

I’m a Celebrity...

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E4 5pm

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33

PROBLEM PAGE

NOVEMEBER.20.2006 PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

The de Ville’s Advocate This week: Don’t think twice Steamy Novels Special:

Jilly Cooper-Scooper-Starship Trooper-loop-de-looper. Super

Danielle Steele: Likes Irn Bru

Jackie Collins: Practices her Glare of Death

Alan Titchmarsh with sexy brunette man

I

f one could glimpse into the private lives of the dazzlingly famous literati, what would one find? Does Jilly Cooper really skin Afghan hounds ALIVE for her voluminous mane?

Could it be possible that Jackie Collins' passing resemblance to Joan Collins betrays a genetic connection? Is Jeffery Archer the missing link between man and toad? Could Alan Titchmarsh's steamy volumes be influenced by his own trysts? Did he show Charlie Dimmock his Man Force? These are questions I'm afraid cannot be answered. We can only speculate. I'd give anything to be a fly on Danielle Steele's wall, except she probably eats them.

In other news, the heavens have opened and I have been piss-ethed upon.

There was once a time, long, long ago when it was gloriously warm in the Summer and bitterly cold in the Winter. You could ice skate on the river Taf and snap icicles from low-reaching tree branches as you skipped merrily along the snow-filled lanes. My, how things have changed. The sky is now a permanently boring shade of drab and even the puddles seem melancholy. Winter is but a distant memory and has now been replaced with a four-month barrage of drizzle. Forgive me for being sombre, but a state pension doesn't keep a lady in furs. Tsk. If only everyone was this happy:/

King of the Mill?

Dear Grace, I feel threatened. Until recently, I was the queen of all things yeast-related (except Thrush).

My bread rolls were famous throughout the land and I revelled in the appreciative moans of all who quaffed my loaves of love. I wish that I hadn't started to gloat. Now my housemate (who fancies himself as a bit of a baker) has started kneading his dough twice during the rising process to make it all fluffy and light. I've tried to copy his technique but to no avail. No one gets excited when I bake bread anymore and my housemate has begun to mentally harass me with bread-themed abuse. Sometimes he posts slices of 'hate toast” under my door saying things like

“Baguette out of the kitchen, wench” or “Your bread is shit”.

He once threw a lump of dough at my head when no one else was looking. I'm being bullied AND I'm a miserable failure, unable to make even the simplest of culinary creations. Can you provide a recipe for success? Or shall I face up to the fact that I can't have my breadcake and eat it?

Kind regards, N. Student Cathays Dear Original Pseudonym,

and

Exciting

It appears that bread is (in this instance) a metaphor for the state

of your life. Think of the separate ingredients that go into making a quality loaf. Salt represents the bitter remorse that consumes your every thought. Could you be adding too much salt into the mix?

Yeast is the life and soul of the dough, perhaps there's not enough yeast in your life? Flour is an essential ingredient, representing the substance of life itself. If you haven't got flour then you can't even make a tortilla. It seems that you're missing a few grains of flour from your bag. I'm not one to judge as I'm quite clearly a few slices short of a loaf but you need to stop prancing about and get yourself a BREADMAKER. No human can shape their loaf as square as a machine, or knead their dough as vigorously. He will be left in the shade, trust me.

Starry Starry Night Dear Grace, An astrologer told me that I was going to die next week. I don't dare leave the house and I've come out in hives.

What am I going to do?

A very scared and confused second year Dear Very Scared and Confused Second Year, According to my calculations, the time that has passed from sending this letter and it being printed in this publication would mean that you'd be dead by now. If you are still alive then you don't really need my advice, do you? But it got me thinking about all things cosmic. I often wonder if there's any grain of truth in the infinite constellation of horoscopes out there. What makes one astrologer more valid than another? Come to think of it, where

on earth have you been getting your astrological advice? I can't remember the last time Justin Toper or Jonathan Cainer told me that I was going to meet an untimely demise. You're obviously a pessimistic Capricorn or a confused Gemini. Can you trust someone with the surname Cainer? I happen to have a close relative whose behaviour is directly influenced by the trajectory and phases of the moon. I shit you not. People crack up if they don't get enough sunlight, so why is it so absurd to suggest that the more distant stars have some bearing on our lives?

Can they predict the future, explain our traits and guide us on the right path? Astrologists claim that this is possible. I beg to differ, but I'm always game for an experiment.

Let's have a look at what the stars have in store for me today. I happen to be a Taurus. What does Cainer have to say? Well: “Consider yourself to be empow-

ered and entitled. You have a permit. You are fully licensed. There may be no written authorisation, but you act with the blessing of a high power. Really. You do.”

Thanks for that Jonathan. I can can sleep well tonight, really.

Mystic Meg begs to differ:

'The Saturn/moon connection helps you to be determined, but not stroppy, and this will get home plans moving. You could be the last one to realise that someone you often see is now attracted to you but a conversation today can be the start of good loving. Luck will visit door 64. '

Nobody has told me I’m going to die but you never know what the future has in store.

Grace xxx P.S All Scorpios are wankers.

Send in your problems to the address at the top of the page. Help can be found in the strangest of places, even coming out of my mouth. Feel free to drop me a line during office hours. For terms and conditions please call someone else. Grace xxx

gairrhydd 35

FIVE MINUTE FUN

NOVEMBER.20.2006 FIVEMINUTEFUN@gairrhydd.COM

SUDOKU 8

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HOW TO PLAY SUDOKU: Fill in the grid using only the numbers 1 through to 9. All the vertical and horizontal rows should contain the numbers 1 to 9. All the smaller 3 by 3 squares should contain the numbers 1-9. No row or 3 by 3 square should have the same number twice.

CROSSWORD 1

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Hansel and Gretel - weed - an old school Cheech & Chong, trails of crumbs = munchies, can’t remember things(like the way out) = shit memory from years of smoking the reefa.

The Beast - At first beauty loved him in spite of his

!

Sandwich Wars continued...

And we’re back in the Bagel ring (in asscociation with Warburtons) for the result of the Cheese and Pickle vs BLT. THE FINAL It’s a pickle affair as we enter the last of the twelve scheduled rounds. The referee looks worried about the tomato seeping out of BLT but there’s life in the old snack yet as he throws a bacon bitchslap. C+P doesn’t know whether to cry or salivate as he looks set to crumble. Cor blimey Miss Granary 2006 has jumped into the ring, her overly strict diet looks to have driven her to the edge as she fiendishly devours BLT in a shocking end to what will go down as one of the most brutal fights this bakery has ever witnessed.

Scrooge - heroin - The warm fuzzy feeling of shooting up saves him burning any of that hard earned coal. In a downward spiral, the pressure of funding his habit turns him into the mean old bean he is today.

The newly crowned Cheese + Pickle start a quest for world snack domination as he gets on his lyrical jet ski and challenges all and sundry to step up to the sandwich king.

Next Stop Tokyo C+P vs Chicken Noodles for GSA (global snack association) title fight.

The red carpet is awash with A list snack-a-lebrities. I think I’ve just spotted the hottest couple of the moment. ProFiterole is oozing chocolate charm with his beautiful bride to be Fondue.

The crowd go wild as they reach to dip into her pot of fruity indulgence. This lady is too hot to handle (forks required). Oh that was exciting I think I might of creamed myself.

Inside the arena you cut the cultural differences with a blunt bread knife. C+P is getting right in the Noodles grill and he looks to be riled as C+P kicks his packet of chicken flavouring to the floor. C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P! C+P!

Hart’s Art

Just cause ya’ mum said that doodle was a master piece doesn’t make you an artist. Let Uncle Tony guide you...

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Fariytale character’s with drug habits

What?, you didn’t think that your favourite bedtime story was all sweetness and light did you?

Yes children, drugs are bad...

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Top 68

looks, now shes just another Heat whore who’s nag nag nagging has forced Beast to cowtow to the lure of Botox.

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ACROSS 1. Irish County (4) 4. Painter (6) 8. Boaster (8) 9. Mediocre (4) 10. A pig (5) 11. Wrapped (7) 13. Zodiac sign (6) 15. Relax (6) 17. Of the Heart (7) 19. Dizzy (5) 22. Bee’s home (4) 23. Sports shoes (8) 24. Pluto, eg (6) 25. Besides (4)

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DOWN 2. Pointer (5) 3. Grown without chemicals (7) 4. Cry of sorrow (4) 5. Grey metallic element (8) 6. Colour of old photos (5) 7. In current fashion (6) 12. Hired killer (8) 14. Sloping (type) (6) 16. Skin Crease (7) 18. Live, reside (5) 20. Popular pub game (5) 21. Dissolve, thaw (4)

Exibit no. 239 - Freak Like Me

Access

s all area

gairrhydd

37

GRAB!

NOVEMBER.20.2006 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

Models Wanted. Please enquire within...

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LOTHES SHOW Live is hitting Birmingham’s NEC on December 1st - 6th, and those very kind peeps at Nokia have very kindly given us five tickets to give away! Every year, thousands of people flock to the world’s largest fashion and beauty event in Birmingham to discover the hottest trends on the catwalk, pick up the latest hair & beauty products and rub shoulders with a host of celebrities, models and style icons!

This year’s key event is The Nokia Fashion Theatre, where top fashion designers from around the world will be showcasing their latest collection of breathtaking designs in a series of spectacular catwalk shows. Making a debut appearance this year is highly acclaimed British fashion designer Tristan Webber, who will be bringing his sharp, decisive and modern styling to the main stage.

Winners will be spoilt for choice amongst this year’s huge range of must-have high street, boutique, designer and exquisite vintage fashion lines, with names like All Saints, Paul Frank, Hooch & Bench, Juicy Couture, Fiorelli and Caprice Lingerie displaying their most recent collections.

Clothes and accessories with an urban edge can be found in The Purple Zone, with the likes of Golddigga, Dunlop and David & Goliath. Browse through the latest collections, designers will be on hand

and can tell you what’s hot in the world of accessories before you move onto The Red Zone where you can pick up the perfect accessory to go with all your new clothes.

Top hair and beauty brands such as Rimmel London, Bourjois, Miners, TIGI and Remmington will be offering invaluable tips and advice throughout the day in The Pink Zone.

As well as displaying their hottest products, they will be dishing out invaluable hair care advice.

In the Designer Forum labels like Toby Pimlico and Betty Jackson will be displaying up-to-the-minute fashions. And following the success last year, and the increasing trend of finding that perfect vintage piece, Battersea Vintage Fashion Fair will return so the winners can scour for that perfect bespoke belt/scarf/dress.

Don’t miss the Blue Nun Bar where visitors can kick back and enjoy a glass or two of their delicious easy-drinking wines guaranteed to appeal to the most discerning fashionista! Plus visitors can enjoy a complimentary make-up makeover or gain invaluable fashion advice from a team of roaming consultants.

Brand new to 2006 is the WellBeing Zone, where the focus is to get fit and fabulous - just in time for the Christmas party season! Meet in some of the most renowned spas in the industry at the Spa Village in association with Spa Find, and experience true relaxation, indulgence or instant results through one of the many luxu-

rious treatments on offer. The internationally renowned Pineapple Dance Studios will be holding fun workshops, plus their very own dance troupe will be performing in the Demo area, along with many other fitness crazes! Experts will be on hand offering a wealth of advice and companies like Fresh Soap Deli and Pure & Simple will be displaying their range of irresistible hand-made natural products!

As ever, Select Model Management, Models 1 and Storm Models will be scouring the crowds on the lookout for the next Vernon Kay or Kate Moss to sign to their books.

Or you can start spotting for yourself as you look out for top celebrities, music acts and fashionistas who will be hosting and starring in the shows.

For your chance to win a ticket for yourself and five friends, simply email the answer to the following question, along with your full name and address: In which city will Clothes Show Live 2006 take place? a) London b) Manchester c) Birmingham Tickets are now on sale and can be ordered by phone on 0870 380 2288, or online at www.clothesshowlive.com

Access All Areas ...with grab

Sound as a pound t’s that time of year again when we’re becoming increasingly aware that the overdraft is edging towards the red day by day and those TV-types have decided to start playing the Christmas ads already to panic us even more. The Ministry of Sound PrePay Maestro Card may be the answer to all your ‘second bank account?/want more music/want to get outside the house’ prayers.

Available to anybody, the Ministry of Sound PrePay Card works in a similar way to a gift voucher. You pay just £9.99 in a one off fee online at www.ministryofsound.com/prepay and then you can load up the card

I

with money which can then be used anywhere that shows the Maestro logo, and the beauty of it is when you run out...that’s it, no charges, no bank fuss, just no money. You don’t even need a bank account! It’s probably the safest thing to carry also, especially on a night out as there’s no need to have any cash on you. What’s even better, anyone can top up your card anywhere, so you can even get your parents to top it up for you!

Because the card’s from Ministry of Sound, not only will you look extra swish due to the number of fabulous highly-blinged designs - completely outshining your regular bank cards, but will get extra benefits. All users will be given access to the hottest new music videos, and for every ten purchases on the card you’ll get a free download of your choice from Ministry of Sound’s online music store. With each purchase made you’ll also be entered into a quarterly ‘Super

Star’ draw with prizes including a spot in a Ministry of Sound music video or a trip abroad for you and your mates. Once a year every user, along with three of their nearest and dearest will also be able to get access to the hallowed Ministry of Sound VIP room, perfect for that special birthday.

F To celebrate the release of the card, Ministry of Sound are giving away a copy of the latest Ministry of Sound Annual, and a copy of the latest Housexy Playboy album to one lucky winner, which you can grab with a mere email to the usual address.

RIDAYS ARE all change in the Union this year. No longer is it a sweaty pit come cattle market that is rather resemblent of Come Play, instead you can expect a night of funky tunes, all out dancing and cheap drinks to embrace the weekend with!

Access All Areas is an alternative night where you’re more likely to hear the latest from cool peeps such as The Killers, Kasabian and classics from Ash, Muse and kick-ass DJs such as Fatboy Slim and Pendulum rather than Girls Aloud and Justin Timberlake...(although we do all love a bit of JT). So you can expect a mish-mash of alternative from the DJs.

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

Those fancy folks who run your union are also getting all technical, and soon for the first time ever, you'll be able to vote for your favourite playlist before the night even begins! So there’s really no excuse for not going down for a boogie when it’s your tunes you’ll be shaking your stuff to.

If you fancy a bit of the action or would just be rather doing anything than watching Eastenders, again, then Access All Areas is the place for you. We’ve managed to grab enough guest list tickets for your whole house this Friday.

To enter, just get your emails to me asap as will be first come, first served.

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

38 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

NOVEMBER.20.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This week: Get your red on for RAG week, The Scissor Sisters, Magenta’s Christma

Magenta’s Christmas Par ty @ The Point Fri, Nov 24 7.30pm/ £10 Listings Editor Rosaria Sguegilla recommends

H Scissor Sisters @ CIA Thurs, Nov 23 7.30pm

Listings Editor Jenna Harris recommends

W

ho hasn’t heard of the Scissor Sisters? New York’s finest disco divas have been working their own brand of anthemic, sparkly-shoes glampop for the last few years with great aplomb and, as of yet, they show no signs of abating.

Camper than the Village People on a

RAG Week @ Cardiff University Mon, Nov 10 Fri, Nov 24 Toby Willis recommends

I

t’s time to show some community spirit by taking part in the second part of RAG week. For those of you who don't know anything about it, RAG stands for Raising and Giving and is a socie-

Coming Up

night out at G.A.Y., their emergence brought silliness and very loud clothes to the 2004 British music scene of dullards such as Dido.

Their genius cover of Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb, a high-pitched, glittery update that works brilliantly despite its disparate elements, catapulted them into the British consciousness.

They followed it up with a flurry of catchy, kitsch, yet essential singles such as Mary and the witty Take Your Mama Out. With their gay club scene origins, they were never going to be your typical band, and their influences of performers such as Elton John, David Bowie and Queen echo their natural flamboyance.

The first album, Scissor Sisters ,reached number 1 on the album charts and was at one point the 51st biggest selling album of all time in the UK, having sold over two million copies.

The five-piece got their major label record deal when they released Electrobix on the independent A Touch

of Class Records. Featuring the Comfortably Numb recording as the Bside, it managed to get picked up by some underground British DJs, leading them to sign to Parlophone. They then put out a limited release of Laura, followed by what was their breakout hit, Comfortable Numb.

Two years later and they’re set for as much success again with the second album Ta-Dah, featuring the single I Don’t Feel Like Dancing. Written with, and featuring the piano skills of Elton John, it marks the maturing of their sound and their rise to a position of serious credibility within the music industry.

The Scissor Sisters are a refreshing break from crappy, personality-free pop acts like Rachel Stevens, or moreboring-than-the-weather-forecast bands like Keane.

They’ve already collaborated with pop/dance/disco icon Kylie Minogue and now look set to keep that mirror ball spinning for some time yet. Go see them!

ty dedicated solely to organising events and collecting money for charities.

RAG fundraises for some great causes and this week is a chance to get the whole university involved, so watch out for us all over the university!

It kicks off on Monday when we will collect money from all the staff in our lunchtime office raids, which like all funds raised this week will be split between this year's chosen charities, Children in Need, Tenovus, Help the Aged and the Local Marie Curie Hospice.

Then on Tuesday, we are linking up with the Live Music Society (LMS) to host a night of live music at The Social. For just £4, you can see performances by The Stanley Band, Walker, Dazed and Slant, with all money raised going to the designated

RAG week charities. It starts at 7.30pm and is set to be a great night.

For Wednesday, we'll be running a stall in the Students' Union during the day, with plenty of games, competitions, chocolates and alcohol to entertain people with, so come along!

Graduates are not left out either.

On Thursday we will be making ourselves known and collecting at a massive pub quiz, which will cost just £1 to enter.

The end of the week is Friday's 'Wear red for RAG!' event. All you have to do is wear red and donate 50p for doing so (collection tins will be located in every university coffee shop).

Those of you going to Access All Areas should also keep a lookout for us selling lollipops and running kids games, marking the end of five days of fundraising.

ello everybody, Christmas is just around the corner and The Point is going to celebrate it with Magenta’s Christmas party.

Originally, Rob Reed played most of the instruments himself and featured guest appearances from Andy Edwards, Martin Shellard and Chris Fry on lead guitar, but these people later became full-time members of the band.

Everything came together when singer Christina joined after previously playing with Rob in the band Trippa.

When Revolution was released, a CD which took its musical inspiration from Rob’s heroes such as Yes,

Comedy Club @ CF10 Tues, Nov 21 7.30pm/ £4.

Jon-Paul Phillips and Adam Tudor recommend

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f your idea of good stand-up comprises of some chap zipping about the stage (imagine Sir Ian McKellen after being informed of plans of a new series of Will and Grace), then Russell Kane with his frantic delivery and shrewd remarks might just be what you're looking for.

The 28-year-old Southender has filed away three years of comedic experience after a meteoric rise through the London and UK circuits.

Within three months of starting out in the autumn of 2003 he was perform-

Genesis and Marillion was released. It was simply amazing.

Rob, Christina and the others realised that with some deft arranging, they could perform their album live as it was produced on their album. The band followed this up by playing throughout the UK and Europe in 2003, including an appearance at the Progeny Festival at London’s Astonia later that year, alongside Pallas.

Their second album Seven was released in 2004 and became an instant success, winning accolades such as that of the “Best Album” award from Poland’s Metal Hammer magazine.

Following that success, 2005 was another great year for the band. The recording of their first live DVD quickly followed a headline appearance at the Rosfest festival in Philadelphia, USA. The band’s reputation as an entertaining, dynamic live act continued to increase, with fans travelling to British gigs from as far away as Italy, Russia, Hungary, Peru, USA, Canada and New Zealand.

That year finished with the triumphant release of the DVD and the prize for Best Band at the Classic Rock Society end of year awards ceremony.

So this week we have a great band who play fab music in an amazing venue, what more can you ask?

ing paid 20 minute sets, concurrently finding his way onto the preview pages of Time Out magazine.

Chortle.co.uk subsequently described him as "the most exciting comic discovery of the year."

His style is twitchy and dynamic, a bit like watching Lee Evans on heat.

It's high energy observational humour with sprigs of filth, often falling into discussion regarding the pretentiousness of the middle classes, and he is probably the funniest at doing so on the circuit.

The support act this week is Tom Bell, who writes for late night BBC comedy show The Milk Run, as well as presenting his own show on London-based radio station Resonance FM. Bell has also performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for the last four years, as well as accompanying Lee Mack and Chris Addison on their respective national tours.

Metro describes Tom as "marvellous as buffoon and psychopath," while Radio Newt reports that the past guest on the Channel 4 Show FAQ U is a “manic leapy man with wild eyes and mad hair.” Both acts will have you laughing from start to finish.

The Heights - 27 Nov @ Barfly... Brakes -28 Nov @ The Point... The Datsuns -3 Dec @ Barfly ... The Damned -12 Dec @ The Point... Ralfe Band (as seen on The Mighty Boosh) -13 Dec @ Barfly... Men Women and Children / Kill The Arcade -14 Dec @ Barfly... Ga Ga -15 Dec @The Point...

Bogiez -16 Dec @ The Point... Blackfly -18 Dec @ Barfly ...The Sex Pistols Experience -20 Dec @ Barfly... Said Mike /Cornerstone / SKWAD -22 Dec @ Barfly...

gairrhydd

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LISTINGS

NOVEMBER.20.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

s Party and the fabulous Tuesday night Comedy Club

Monday

20/11

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative sweat fest. 10pm2am. £3.

X Factory @ The Taf The University’s student radio station shows off its best DJs. 9pm-1am. Free with NUS. I-Candy @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ latest superclub. £3/4 NUS. Genghis Tron / andtheywillriot! / Dead Wolves @ Barfly Apparently, “a virulent pop mutation that seamlessly binds acrobatic shred and machine gun blastbeats to soaring synth pop and electronic melodies. With surreal lyrical visions that fall somewhere between abstraction of modern metalcore and the sugar anthems of electropop and a rediculous fusion of formerly disparate genre stylings.” (Ents24.com/web). 7.30pm.£6.

The Black Dahlia @ Chapter Arts Centre True crime meets urban legend in Brian De Palma’s moody adaptation of James Ellroy’s best-selling novel. The Black Dahlia weaves a fictionalised tale of obsession, love, corruption, greed and depravity around the brutal murder of a fledgling Hollywood starlet which shocked and fascinated America in 1947. 6.15pm. £5.10.

Go Tour UK: Al Start @ Toucan Club Al Start is an upbeat indie acoustic singer/songwriter. 8pm. £5/£4.

Pick Of The Day Paul Carrack @ St. David’s Hall Former frontman of legendary so-badthey’re-good cheesemeisters Mike and The Mechanics, the voice behind worldwide hits such as Ace's How Long, Squeeze's Tempted has a reputation as a stunning live performer. Playing both solo and with a band, expect to hear classics like Silent Running, Another Cup of Coffee, Over My Shoulder, and many more. 8pm.

Friday 24/11

Wear red for RAG @ Cardiff University Donate 50p to RAG, collection tins located in university coffee shops. ..

All day.

Access all Areas @ SU New Look Friday. Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. It should be a good night. 10pm - 2am. £3.50/£3 adv.

The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Music for those who love music. An indie and retro night that takes in the heady landscape created by the likes of Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Dusty Springfield.

10.00pm – 2.30am. £3.50/£4.

Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV compares an indietastic night of alternative music, from the Strokes to the Smiths. 10.30pm-2am. £5.

Chaos @ Metros The hard rock night. £2.50 before 10pm.

Pick of the Day Visible Noise Present November 06 Tour: Bullet For My Valentine / Bleeding Through / As I Lay Dying @ SU Orange County metallers Bleeding Through bring dark, heavy and yet melodic rock to these shores. As I Lay Dying are from San Diego and promise energetic, heavy rock accompanied by personal lyrics. Most people know about headliners Bullet For My Valentine, the Welsh rockers who admire Iron Maiden and Metallica, and know how to put on a good show.

7.30pm. £15.

The Poppies @ Barfly Welsh band. Support comes from The Blood Arm and The Francos. 8pm. £5.

Above The Surface Presents: Future Of The Left / Kong / Truckers Of Husk @ Clwb Ifor Bach Weekly live band night. Futures of the Left comprise of ex-Mclusky members Andy Falkous and Jack Egglestone, along with Kelson Matthias, formerly of Ammanford rockers Jarcrew. 7:30pm. £5.

Tuesday

21/11

RAG and LMS live music night @ The Social See preview opposite. 7.30pm. £4.

Street Doctor @ SU Got any maladies? The BBC’s new health programme Street Doctor can help. Simply turn up to the university’s very own Union today and get a free walk-in consultation, with no need to book an appointment. All day, for more information call 07802 773596.

Forecast@ Buffalo Bar Something of a night of hidden treasures: Representing under-represented music. www.weareforecast.com. 8pm-3am. £6.

Planet Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bach Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth.” Drinks promotions and you can email song requests. Alternatively, myspace at www.myspace.com/planet_rock_club9pm2pm. £3.

Decade @ Barfly Decade presents the very best pop, cheese, and crossover tracks from the eighties and nineties. Remember the likes of Care-Bears, dancing flowers, Sonic the Hedgehog and Where’s Wally? Well, so do they. New Kids on the Block, Madonna, Take That, Britney, Human League, Zig and Zag, Sonia, Blur, East 17, Nirvana, INXS, Deee-lite, Vanilla Ice, Spice Girls, MC Hammer, Oasis, Steps, Suede, 2Unlimited, Pulp, Europe and the mighty Hanson all feature. 10.30pm. £3/£2.

Jazz On The Level - The Jed Williams Memorial Concert @ St. David’s Hall Jazztastic fun. 8pm. £12.

Tiny Dancers / Slow Club / We Are Trees / Hello Geiger @ Barfly Having supported Babyshambles, Tiny Dancers add to the randomness by throwing balloons to the audience while doing their acoustic-led pop thang. 7.30pm. £5.

Saturday 25/11

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Traffic (DJ and clubbing society) playing house music in the other. 10pm. £3.50.

East African Society presents: Khanga / Toga party @ CF10 Come dressed in khangas, lesos, sarongs, saris and togas for an evening of African music, hip-hop, r ‘n’ b, bhangra, lingala, ragga and reggae. This event is held in aid of the Nyumbani Children's Home, an East African charity that takes in orphaned and abandoned children with HIV and there will be a raffle with different prizes available.

8pm-2am. £3 members/ £5 non-members.

Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. Actually nothing to do with fly swatters. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. Hellbent! @ The Model Inn, Quay Street Cardiff city’s only rock night on a Saturday for fans of true rock music, keeping it alternative. 9pm - 2am.

Delinquent @ Metros Alternative and new music mixed with the best indie tunes. The dungeon-like surroundings makes it even better. Go to get sweaty and have a good time. 9pm-4am. Free with flyer before 10pm/£4.

Salsa @ The Gate Get salsa fever. 7pm. £7.

Pick of the Day Meltdown & No Fit State Circus 20th birthday extravaganza @ The Point A six hour indoor festival featuring nonstop music and performance. Kosheen frontwoman Sian Evans, Victorian English Gentlemen’s Club, Briony Black, Fernhill feat Julie Murphy, Howling Sleepers, Cakehole Presley, Simon Deville (tightrope), Captain Paranoid and the Delusion, D’Angle (aerialists), SILD, Naughty, Lady Reality & CF11, Railroad Bill and River Ghosts all perform.

Magicians, acrobats and jugglers will also be present. 7.30pm-2am. £10.

Wednesday 22/11 RAG @ Students’ Union Games, competitions, raffles and more at a stall set up in the Union. 10am-4pm. Free.

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Clubbing for jocks, pretend jocks and those who love to dress up in costume. Suprisingly, it is a huge sell out. 10pm. £3.

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. On one, classic funk and motown, another indie classics and brand new music, and on the final floor, cheese. 10pm. £3.

Live Nation Presents Scritti Politti plus special guests @ The Point Scritti Politti are back with a new record and are playing gigs in promotion of it. Their latest album White Bread Black Beer is to be released on July 25. Green has been playing gigs under the name Double G and the Traitorous 3 in the UK since January. 7pm. £16.50.

AY CARMELA @ Sherman Theatre AY CARMELA! is a darkly funny yet heartbreaking portrayal of love and loss, a moving reminder of the failure of the living to learn from the dead. And in a world still ridled with conflict, this compelling new production is a poignant testimony to the inhumanity of war.

8pm. £10/8.

Goo Music @ Buffalo Bar Goo Gang DJs are a group of people spinning Shoegaze / Alternative / Rock’n’Roll / New Wave and anything else they can get their hands on. For information and prices visit: http://www.goomusic.net/.

Cardiff Gang Show 2006 @ New Theatre The Gang Show is a musical production that will take you on a journey to Broadway and back, featuring all the jazz hands, razzle-dazzle and excitement of New York’s celebrated Theatreland. With a local cast of 130 young people, it promises an energetic and highpaced show. For more information: www.newtheatre.cardiff.gov.uk.

Sunday 26/11 Twisted by Design Album Launch @ Cwlb Ifor Bach.

Twisted by Design is releasing a 22 track compilation of some of the best local artists called This Town Aint Big Enough for the 22 of Us. To launch the CD, Twisted is featuring ten of the artists at the launch party. Los Campesinos! headline, and also playing are Threatmantics, Little My, Silence at Sea, Hornby Pylons and Friends, The Wave Pictures, The Loves, Attack + Defend, Stray Borders and Gindrinker, with DJing between the bands. 5pm. £8.

Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere, along with your chance to experience live acoustic acts, songwriters, bands and performers, as well as participating yourself if you so desire and sharing your musical talent with the rest of the world. (OK, a small part of Cardiff.)

8pm - 3am. £1.

The Hop @ Buffalo Bar Resident DJs present 50’s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. Cult 50s films, drive in themes and extra large milkshakes are said to be involved as well. For all aspiring teddy boys or fans of the film Grease. You know that you want to go. 8pm 3am. Free.

Pick of the Day Akira the Don @ Barfly Akira the Don, aka Adam Narkiewicz, is a Welsh hip-hop rapper/poet and man of many things. Signed to Eminem’s record label, his interests lie in writing, acting, making musicals, founding a newspaper and politics. With the hair of Jesus and the beard of Salavdor Dali, he has quite an interesting look, but his music is said to be conceptual and inspired in the vein of The Streets and Gorillaz.

7.30pm. £6.

Thursday 23/11 RAG pub quiz @ Graduate Centre 7.30pm. £1.

Krishna Consciousness Society presents: Soul Jam @ SU Music night with relaxing mantra meditation to get your body, mind and soul chilled out, followed by a free Vegetarian feast and refreshments. Griffith’s Room, 4th Floor of Students’ Union. 6pm-8pm.

Free.

The Bait Shop @ Barfly For all those who want a student night with an alternative twist. At the Balt shop, there are upcoming trends whilst keeping a finger in the pie of those gone by. They’ve got everything from Deathcab and The Shins through to Basement Jaxx and the Chemical Brothers, without forgetting to stop by Michael Jackson, Prince and Madonna and all the other cool people.

10.30pm. £3/£2 with NUS. Clubnight @ La Tropicana Hip-hop and R&B student night. 10pm.

Livewire @ Barfly Metal. So much of it that they could open a steel factory. Probably. A dash of punk and hardcore adds season. 10pm. Free entry.

Cheapskates @ Metros Alternative and cheese. 9.30pm - 2am.

Pick Of The Day

The Blims / The Toy Band / Skelter @ O’Neill’s Live music night held in aid of charity.

Organisers Scott and Danielle are aiming to raise money for a trek on the Great Wall of China to raise money for Cancer Research UK. A worthy cause and a should be a good night out.

Tickets from SU box office, Spillers Records or by ringing 01495 200597.

7.30pm. £5.

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

40 gairrhydd

SPORT

NOVEMBER.20.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

Psycho defeat will go down in History AFC History 3 - 2 Psycho AFC HISTORY opened up a threepoint lead at the top of Group C in what proved to be a tight and tense affair.

Following this latest victory, History are on course to reach the Premiership next semester. However, they have yet to entertain secondplaced CARBS, who scored 11 against English last week.

Meanwhile, after last week’s defeat to Uni Hallstars, Psycho put in a performance that belied previous form.

Nonetheless, despite losing by one goal for the third successive game, Psycho must get a result against J-Unit to kickstart their season.

Things started well for Psycho who took an early lead. A penalty given for handball was converted by Adam Edwards within the opening two minutes as the league leaders looked rocked. But History hit back.

High-flying History drew level

instantly after Jez Barton tucked away a neat volley after a corner from the left side.

Despite restoring parity, History never seemed comfortable on the ball with Psycho effectively breaking up play in what was developing into a scrappy encounter.

Psycho were suddenly first to every ball and Edwards soon restored their lead midway through the first half with a clinical strike from inside the box.

Chances came and went at each end but as the first half drew to a close the belief gradually started to return as History exerted more pressure on Psycho.

Their reward came just before the break with Richard Morgan powering a header in at the far post from another floated Will Hodge corner kick.

History spent the second half camped out in Psycho’s half as the strugglers broke down wave after wave of attacking play.

Substitutes were sent on for tired legs as time started to become a factor.

But the Psycho defence finally cracked on 85 minutes when Adam Hutchings struck the winner for History.

Boca cause Economic slump Nick Fitrzyk IMG Reporter

Economics 0 - 6 Boca

BOCA SENIORS upset the odds with a comprehensive win over an Economics side who have now suffered two straight defeats.

After making a solid start to the season with two victories, Economics have surprisingly fallen away in the race for a Premiership place. They must get something out of the game against Engin this week to stand any chance of reaching the Premiership for a second successive season.

Meanwhile, newcomers Boca Seniors continued their steady start in Group B. Following draws with top sides Gym Gym and Tank Engin, and a disappointing loss to Arse’Alona, Boca bounced back to record a moraleboosting 6-0 victory.

The tone was set after just two minutes when Boca midfielder Nick Fitrzyk scored directly from a corner.

Economics rallied to battle back in a competitive first half, with their best chance coming from a free-kick which was well saved by the Boca substitute

IMG Football Results Wed 8 Nov

Pharm AC MOMED Japsoc Zoology

7 8 0 8

-

0 1 2 2

TWNN Real Ale Socsi Law B

goalkeeper, Tom Parry-Jones. Despite Economics’ fluent passing and inventive play down both wings, the resilient Boca defence stood firm, ensuring that the half time score remained 1-0 in their favour.

The second half started with Economics going close with an excellent volley that just crept wide of the Boca goal.

But Economics then conceded a penalty shortly afterwards, which captain and midfield lynchpin Tim Watson calmly converted.

As Economics pressed forward in search of goals, they left space at the back that was exploited by striker Tom Misselbrook, who went on to score a hat-trick of goals.

The pick of the bunch was a 20-yard drive that hit the inside of the post before going in.

Late in the game, with the result assured, Boca substitute Dave Hannah ran down the right wing before scoring from an acute angle to finish the game off in style.

In what appears to be a tight group, Boca must win against JOMEC to boost hopes of booking a place in Division One next semester.

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 15 Nov

Japsoc Socsi Law B TWNN

v v v v

MOMED Zoology Pharm AC Real Ale

v v v v

Myg Myg Economics JOMEC Esplanyol

Myg Myg JOMEC Economics Arse’Alona

4 1 0 1

-

3 4 6 5

Esplanyol Gym Gym Boca Seniors Tank Engin

Arse’Alona Tank Engin Boca Seniors Gym Gym

AFC History Uni Hallstars English Soc Law A

3 0 3 4

-

2 Psycho Ath. 8 J-Unit 11 CARBS 1 Butthead FC

Law A Butthead FC CARBS J-Unit

v v v v

AFC History English Uni Hallstars Psycho Ath.

Inter Me-Nan Thunderkatz Crusaders Chem Soc

2 4 5 2

-

2 1 0 1

Chemsoc Havana Drag.

Park Rangers Euros

v v v v

Inter Me-Nan Crusaders Thunderkatz AFC Cathays

AFC Cathays Euros Park Rangers Havana Drag

IMG Football

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Zoology*

4

4

0

0

24

11

2

Pharm AC

4

3

0

1

15

9

3

MOMED

4

3

0

1

12

9

4

Law B

4

3

0

1

4

9

5

Socsi

4

2

0

2

10

6

6

Japsoc

4

1

0

3

-2

3

7

TWNN

4

0

0

4

-25

0

8

Real Ale Madrid

4

0

0

4

-38

0

P

W

IMG Football

PUDDLY: The beautiful game

Zoology zoom to the top Adam Gibson IMG Reporter

Law B 2 - 8 Zoology DESPITE treacherous conditions and a slow start, Zoology maintained their 100% record with an 8-2 hammering of Premiership chasers Law B. As a result, high-flying Zoology climbed to the top of Group A, despite being docked a point earlier in the season.

After the young Lawyers had missed an early penalty and failed to capitalise on a number of halfchances, the Zoo army went ahead when striker Archie McQueen was hacked down in the box. Centrehalf Sean Hutchinson coolly dispatched the spot kick into the roof of the net.

PHOTO: TOM SZCZEBIOT

John Dunster IMG Reporter

Football Tables

Moments later, Tom Wilkinson finished superbly when through on goal before winger Ross scored the goal of the game after classy work from midfielders Jones and Cousens.

Despite a calamitous start to the second period which saw Hutchinson head the ball into his own net and Law B reduce the deficit to 3-1, Zoology soon took full control.

Terrible goalkeeping from the Law B stopper, combined with a hat-trick from striker Tom Crowther and magnificent strikes from Ben Jones and the lively Nathan Farmer ensured a more than comfortable win for Gwynant Watson’s men.

Meanwhile, Law B slipped to fourth after this defeat, with their Premiership hopes now hanging in the balance.

menon on the match

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Gym Gym

4

3

1

0

8

10

2

Engin

4

2

1

1

4

7

3

Arse’Alona*

4

2

1

1

6

6

4

JOMEC*

4

2

1

1

4

6

5

Economics

4

2

0

2

-3

6

6

Boca Seniors

4

1

2

1

1

5

7

Myg Myg

4

1

0

3

-9

3

8

Esplanyol

4

0

0

4

-11

0

P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

AFC History

4

4

0

0

22

12

2

CARBS

4

3

0

1

12

9

3

Law A

4

2

1

1

19

7

4

J-Unit

4

2

1

1

7

7

5

Psycho Ath.

4

1

0

3

-2

3

6

Butthead FC

4

1

0

3

-4

3

7

English

4

1

0

3

-17

3

8

Uni Hallstars

4

1

0

3

-39

3

P

W

IMG Football

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Chemsoc

4

3

1

0

7

10

2

C. Crusaders

4

2

1

0

6

7

3

H. Dragons

4

2

1

0

3

7

4

Thunderkatz*

4

2

1

1

7

6

5

EUROS

4

1

2

1

-1

5

6

AFC Cathays

4

0

4

0

0

4

7

Inter Me- Nan

4

0

1

2

-9

1

8

Park Rangers

4

0

1

3

-13

1

* Team has been deducted 1 point

Netball Tables IMG Netball

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Socsi A

5

4

0

1

50

12

2

Cardiff A

5

4

0

1

49

12

3

CARBS B

5

3

0

2

-18

9

0

3

-1

6

FOOTBALL

NETBALL

4

Dynamo Tigers

5

2

NUMBER OF GOALS: 101 goals, 6.3125 goals per game WHIPPING BOYS: English conceded 11 against CARBS SURPRISE PACKAGE: Boca Seniors for thrashing Economics against the odds. Great stufff lads!

EPIC GAMES: History v Psycho and Myg Myg v Esplanyol were tense thrillers.

CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: History and Zoology are currently the only two sides with maximum points.

TEAM OF THE WEEK: There’s only one winner this week.

Arse’Alona get the gong for getting revenge on Engin in true style.

NUMBER OF GOALS: 250 goals, 22.72 goals per game GOLDEN GIRLS: Christ. Union for scoring 31 goals!

SURPRISE PACKAGE: IWC B get the award for beating highflying CARBS B resoundingly.

EPIC GAME: Economics B v Cardiff B, a 19gao,thriller with only q goal in it.

CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Christian Union, CARBS A and Economics A haven’t dropped points.

TEAM OF THE WEEK: A tough one. IWC B take the credit this week for recording their first victory against an in-form CARBS B side.

5

IWC A

5

1

0

4

-34

3

6

IWC B

5

1

0

4

-46

3

P

W

IMG Netball

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Christ. Union

5

5

0

0

71

15

2

Cardiff B

5

4

0

1

26

12

3

Economics B

5

3

0

2

17

9

4

Socsi B

4

1

0

3

-18

3

5

Optometry

4

1

0

3

-21

3

6

Automotive

5

0

0

5

-75

0

P

W

IMG Netball

IMG Netball Fixtures Sat 18 Nov

Optometry v Socsi B (10.00) Sawsa v Pharm B (10.40) English A v Carbs A Law A v Law B

(11.20)

(12.10)

Wed 22 Nov This completes Phase 1. The leagues will be determined by each team’s final position in their group.

There will be a Captains meeting at 12pm on Monday 20th Nov. Meet at the AU Office.

Ple

IMG Netball Results Sat 11 Nov

Gym Gym

2 - 16 Medics

Pharm B 20 - F English A IWC A 4 - 19 D.Tiger CARBS B 6 - 24 IWC B Wed 15 Nov Dynamo Tiger 4 - 16 Cardiff A Socsi A 13 - 1 CARBS B IWC B 0 - 21 IWC A Econ B 9 - 10 Cardiff B Engin Auto 0 - 31 C. Union English B 1 - 21 Pharm A Gym Gym 8 - 14 Engin Loco Economics A 17 - 3 Medics

Group C D

L

Diff

Pts

1

CARBS A

4

4

0

0

13

12

2

Law A

4

3

0

1

30

9

3

Law B

4

2

0

2

13

6

4

SAWSA

4

2

0

2

-5

6

5

Pharmacy B

3

0

0

3

-25

3

6

English A

3

0

0

3

-26

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Economics A

5

5

0

0

63

15

2

Pharmacy A

4

3

0

1

37

12

3

Locomotive

5

3

0

2

11

9

4

Medics

5

2

0

3

-22

6

5

Gym Gym

4

1

0

3

-44

3

6

English B

5

0

0

5

-45

0

gairrhydd

SPORT

NOVEMBER.20.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

CARBS A begin season with a win Champions CARBS A make a winning start on the opening day of IMG Rugby, after narrowly beating club rivals CARBS B on Pontcanna

CARBS A 10 - 5 CARBS B

CARBS A 10 - 5 CARBS B SAWSA 0 - 21 Engin

IMG Rugby Fixtures Sun 19 Nov Stoma v MASTS Medics v Planning Wed 22 Nov Engin v CARBS B Law v Pharmacy

CHAMPIONS CARBS A began the season where they left off with a tight 10 - 5 win over CARBS B. In a tough encounter on a wet afternoon, a scrappy game saw a close match that ended with CARBS A on the winning side.

Both teams played the game with a great spirit throughout, as CARBS B fought the champions all the way to

IMG Netball

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Engin

1

1

0

0

21

3

2

CARBS A

1

1

0

0

5

3

3

Law

0

0

0

0

0

0

4

MASTS

0

0

0

0

0

0

5

Medics

0

0

0

0

0

0

6

Pharmacy

0

0

0

0

0

0

7

Planning

0

0

0

0

0

0

8

Stoma

0

0

0

0

0

0

9

CARBS B

1

1

0

1

-5

0

10

SAWSA

1

1

0

1

-21

0

the end.

Last season, CARBS A won all nine of their IMG matches after finishing with a remarkable goal difference of 251.

On the other hand, CARBS B finished in third last year after securing six wins from their nine matches.

Elsewhere, Engin have gone top of the league after beating SAWSA 21-0.

Engin will be looking to improve on last year, after finishing second.

Send in your IMG Rugby reports with a large picture attached to:

sport@gairrhydd.com Keep your report to about 300 words

PHOTO: ED SALTER

Gareth Owen IMG Reporter

IMG Rugby Results Wed 15 Nov

41

SCRUM: Both CARBS teams battle it out

Socsi secure second win Socsi 2 - 0 Japsoc SOCSI recorded their first win since the opening day with a spirited win against Japsoc.

The game started slowly with both teams looking to settle down, with much of the play remaining in midfield.

However, Socsi soon started to dominate. After 10 minutes of attacking, Socsi were rewarded with the first goal of the game when goalkeeper Dean Corbisiero hit a long goalkick, allowing striker Eliot Holt to run through and neatly slot the ball past the Japsoc goalkeeper.

Shortly afterwards, Socsi were awarded two free-kicks on the edge of the Japsoc area. Captain Joseph Bonney stepped up hit both shots narrowly wide.

Socsi went 2-0 up five minutes before half-time, when Bonney, Ben Cross and Geriant Probert linked up well to create a second goal for Holt.

Throughout the second half, the game was still being dominated by Socsi, and although Japsoc looked dangerous on the attack with some particularly good play from the two forwards, they never managed to trouble the Socsi keeper and defence.

Socsi entertain Pharm AC this week, while Japsoc will be looking to grab a win against in-form MOMED.

42 gairrhydd

SPORT

NOVEMBER.20.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Lined Out Medics can’t halt St. Mary’s march George Pawley Sports Editor

News In Brief Sailing away

OXFORD Greyhounds................16

CARDIFF MEN’S Rugby Firsts travelled to Iffley Road, Oxford, in the knowledge that they need to establish a winning pattern to ensure survival in the BUSA Premier League.

Given their undoubted rugby pedigree and history, Oxford presented a daunting prospect, and the XV feel just short of gaining another three points, losing a tight match 16 – 14.

Despite dominating the scrummage and breakdown, where the side were extremely aggressive and subsequently successful, it was the lineout that was the weak-link for Cardiff, who were without hooker Aaron Fowler, who was with the Cardiff Blues Under 20 regional team.

Fowler’s accuracy was severely missed as the pack won just two of 18 lineouts.

Head of Rugby Martyn Fowler remarked that despite the poor lineout performance: “All credit must go to our side – they competed against a bona fide Premiership team, away from home, and for large spells they were by far the dominant team.”

Commenting on Cardiff’s current league position, Fowler said: “If we can retain Premiership status, and with ongoing development in the rugby programme, the first team could become a genuine force in the Premier League.”

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

CARDIFF Men’s firsts...............14

Jack Zorab Rugby Reporter CARDIFF Medics firsts.............12 ST. MARY’S firsts....................36 CARDIFF MEDICS’ first steps in Premier South B have been with a stuttering gait, losing two games to very beatable opposition.

Therefore the visit of top of the table St. Mary’s was perhaps not the prescription the junior doctors would have ordered.

However, the match at Llanrumney proved to be a great case for unconventional medicine.

St. Mary’s swaggered into sight with a perfect record and on the back of a seventy point mauling of Imperial College.

While they were to leave with that

Oliver Bennett Sailing Reporter

MEDICS: Need killer instinct record improved, they also bore the marks of a ferociously contested and fast paced game.

The opening 20 minutes was blinkand–you’ve-missed-it stuff. St. Mary’s brought all the savvy and class to their game, but were matched by Cardiff’s pace out wide.

St. Mary’s converted their chances better though, scoring three unanswered tries before Cardiff got two of their own.

The first of these saw Nick Gill beat his opposite man to score in the corner after good hands from Gough and Kidd conjured up space for him.

Five minutes later it was his partner in the other corner crashing over to take the half time score to 17 - 12.

The second half was deadlocked in a battle of physicality up front as both sides knocked chunks out of each other with equal satisfaction.

The posts seemed to be non-existent

as both teams went solely for the opposition whitewash.

But as the skies darkened, the visitors really started to crank the tourniquet with a series of well constructed attacks eventually resulting in St. Mary’s’ fly half diving over from five yards, and another followed soon after.

Both tries were fashioned the hard way - St. Mary’s had to go through 20plus phases to carve out their scores; a testament to Cardiff’s defence all game.

Cardiff continued until the end, and were camped in the St.Mary’s 22 for the last ten minutes.

However, the lungs and legs of Cardiff’s players, willing as their owners were, couldn’t muster a final try and perhaps unfairly, St.Mary’s sneaked another just before the death.

Cardiff’s next four games are against mid-table teams, the Medics’ season may be about to hit it’s stride.

CARDIFF UNIVERSITY Sailing club left Wales with an inordinate amount of tool boxes, boats and their assembled paraphernalia, as they journeyed to Weymouth for the BUSA Fleet Racing Event.

The fleets stumbled round the course in the first race, but the day was cut short due to lack of consistent wind.

The next morning brought a more positive forecast as the winds rose throughout the day.

Three races brought notable highs from Nathan Harding and Lara White sailing a National 12. They came 7th in an individual race and 19th overall in the handicap fleet. In the firefly fleet, Maia Walsh and Katherine Trigg finished 14th in their grouping.

The most valiant effort came from Richard Phillips and Toby Bedford coming mid-fleet in the competitive Laser II fleet despite captaining a sinking boat.

Splash back

Trophy time for cobras David Pruett American Football Reporter ABERYSTWYTH Tarannau...........0 CARDIFF Cobras.......................20 DESPITE FIELDING a side depleted by injury and absence, the Cardiff Cobras returned from the wilderness of Aberystwyth having retained the Welsh Bowl for an unprecedented ninth consecutive time.

After a showcase of sheer Welsh passion from both sides, Cardiff proved better suited to last the course, running out 20 – 0 winners with all scores coming in the second half.

Indeed as the score-line shows, it was once again the hard hitting Cobra defence that was the star of the show; two games played and still no points conceded.

This was despite playing with an offence that at times seemed to take pleasure in making their own lives difficult, losing turning over ball on no less than five occasions.

Early on in particular this seemed to be the case, as after a first drive on Aber, which Cardiff came within yards of scoring from, the offence found it difficult to keep hold of the ball.

Two fumbles in two consecutive plays were recovered by the Tarannau and put opponents on the verge of a score.

It took a special play from first time defensive player Warren Coombes to halt their advance as he made a great interception near his own goal-line to repel the threat.

The defence, atoning for the wasteful offence, proved to be the prevailing force in the first half, as despite moving the ball with apparent ease, turnovers against the offence meant

AMERICAN FOOTBALL: Soccer they were unable to transfer their on field dominance to the scoreboard.

It took until the midpoint of the third quarter for Cardiff to open the scoring when quarter-back David Pruett found his way to the endzone from 15 yards out.

The score was the result of some incredible adjustments by the offensive line, who managed to create a seam up the right side, allowing Pruett to score. Cardiff decided to try and add two points on the conversion but were ultimately unsuccessful when

Pruett was sacked.

With the wind behind them again at the start of the fourth quarter, the Cobras wasted no time in adding to their lead when rookie lineman Gavin Sellers made a great block which created a hole on the left side.

Slot receiver Andrew Hardy then did the rest breaking tackles and outrunning defenders on his way to an impressive 58 yard score. This time, Cardiff went for the single point conversion and veteran Tom Wilson’s kick was good making the score 13 – 0.

With the Tarannau now down two scores they tried to move the ball quickly through the air, but to no avail, as the speedy Cardiff secondary would not allow any receivers to get open, leaving their QB a sitting duck for the Cobra pass rush.

This was the case all game as the defensive line, led by another first time defensive starter James CoxSchembri, hurried and harassed the athletic Aberystwyth quarter-back.

Cardiff finally put the game to rest late on when running-back Jake Heath followed the block of rookie Kamanzi Kaijuka to reach the endzone for a six yard score.

Wilson’s extra point attempt was again good and left the Cobras celebrating their first silverware of the season, in a 20 – 0 victory.

Rebecca Isles Canoeing Reporter 19 MEMBERS of the Cardiff University Canoe Club competed in the most recent BUSA White Water race in North Yorkshire.

As the event had doubled in size from previous year’s, the competition was all the more difficult, not discounting the tough conditions of the river Washburn near Harrogate.

Individual racing was the first discipline, with all the Cardiff canoers racing the course and each gaining at least one BUSA point for the team; balanced with both experienced boaters and newcomers alike.

Cardiff entered three teams into each category of the K1 events, fielding a total of nine teams as the team section of the competition got underway.

Cardiff achieved a very healthy total of 53 BUSA points over the weekend.

Overall, Cardiff finished 7th out of 27 universities competing, with the Ladies’ team events bringing in the most BUSA points with 6th and 7th place finishes.

Loughborough retained their position as BUSA’s best kayakers, scoring a massive 267 points.

gairrhydd

SPORT

NOVEMBER.20.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

BUSA Results Wed November 15

PHOTO: TIM MOHAN

Derby day triumph for seconds

Kelen Jones Netball Reporter CARDIFF thirds......................24 CARDIFF seconds..................46 IT WAS an internal battle at Talybont this week, as Cardiff’s Netballers squared up in BUSA Western Conference 2B. With the seconds hot on the heels of UWIC 3rds, and the thirds eager to extend away from Glamorgan at the foot of the table, the match was not just all about beating club mates.

The thirds came out fighting, with the seconds immediately put on the back foot due to their slow start.

The game was neck and neck for the first quarter, which ended 6 - 6. It was a closely contested quarter, with the second team defence, comprising of Lucy Monk and Clare Gilliland, making the thirds work hard to get the ball into the circle.

However, due to many unforced errors, the seconds were unable to capitalise on the great work done by the backline.

In the second quarter, these mistakes continued, and although it was a frantic quarter for both sides, the half finished with the thirds just

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W Badminton 6 - 2 Exeter Bournemouth 5 - 3 M Badminton 1 Aberystwyth 1 6 - 2 M Badminton 2 Aberystwyth 1 L - L M Basketball Southampton 67 - 62 W Basketball Swansea 112 - 134 M Fencing Exeter 133 - 68 W Fencing M AFC 5 5 - 0 Trinity 2 Plymouth 1 3 - 1 M AFC 1 UWIC 2 1 - 1 M AFC 2 Medics 1 0 - 0 M AFC 3 UWIC 3 0 - 0 M AFC 4 UWE 1 1 - 3 W AFC 1 Swansea Institute 3 - 0 W AFC 2 Golf 2 3.5 - 2.5 Southampton 1 Exeter 6 - 0 Golf 1 M Hockey 2 2 - 3 Glamorgan 1 Bristol 3 - 0 M Hockey 1 Medics 2 - 0 M Hockey 3 Aberystwyth 1 1 - 1 M Hockey 4 Gloucester 1 1 - 4 W Hockey 1 Medics 1 0 - 10 W Hockey 2 Glamorgan 1 3 - 0 W Hockey 3 Oxford 16 - 3 Lacrosse Netball 2 46 - 25 Netball 3 Exeter 18 - 53 Netball 1 UWE 3 43 - 29 Netball 4 M Rugby 3 14 - 16 Aberystwth 1 Oxford 16 - 14 M Rugby 1 Swansea Institute P - P M Rugby 2 Plymouth 5 - 10 W Rugby M Squash 2 1 - 4 Glamorgan 1 Swansea 1 2 - 3 M Squash 1 Southmapton 1 4 - 0 W Squash W Tennis 9 - 1 UWE Southampton 1 8 - 2 M Tennis Medics AFC 2 L - L Aberystywth 2 Medics W Hockey 2 L - L Glamorgan 2 Medics Netball 1 66 - 19 Glamorgan 2 Medics Netball 2 20 - 25 Solent Medics M Rugby 1 12 - 36 St Mary’s 1 Aberystwyth 1 5 - 0 Medics Squash

Flatlining football University clash produces dull draw Ed Pitchforth Footballl Reporter CARDIFF Medics firsts..............0 CARDIFF Mens thirds................0 CARDIFF MEDICS Firsts and Cardiff’s Men’s Thirds produced a disappointing stalemate in their all Cardiff University clash in BUSA 3B. In a scrappy first half where passing football was at a premium, the thirds had goalkeeper Matt Eagles to thank for keeping them level, as the Medics created the best chances.

The best came with ten minutes on the clock, as Eagles produced a superb reflex save from a close range strike, after the thirds had failed to clear a free kick.

A Medics counter then allowed striker Nick Marsden to fire a dipping shot at goal, but Eagles again saved well. He was eventually beaten by a low strike but fortunately for Cardiff, defender Will Butterworth was well placed to clear off the line.

The thirds meanwhile, were really struggling and were virtually non existent as an attacking force, with lone striker Caine left isolated all too often.

The second half appeared to promise more of the same when the hardworking Marsden picked out left winger Price at the far post, only for

Eagles to deny the Medics yet again.

The thirds responded well and managed an improved second half display to turn the game into a contest.

Having gained a foothold in the match, they were still forced to wait until 65 minutes gone to threaten the Medic goal for the first time. Striker Caine worked himself a good opportunity after a mazy run, but could only manage a weak shot.

The match began to open up as both sides poured forward in search of a goal that would surely clinch the game.

The Medics twice came close as striker Marsden fizzed a powerful volley narrowly over, and then a central midfielder fired wide when well placed.

Not to be denied, the rejuvenated Cardiff side created chances of their own as they finished strongest.

Striker Boyd Hoyland’s late run was well picked out during an incisive counter, but he sidefooted wide; the finish not justifying the pass. The Medic keeper was then on hand to save winger Harris’s effort to save a point for his side.

The dour draw did neither team any favours as both remain close to the foot of the table.

A third team substitute was unimpressed with the performance, commenting that it was: “pretty poor all round really, but we’ll take a 0 - 0 and look forward to taking them on again in the reverse fixture”.

NETBALL: Natural Order ahead 16-13 in a keenly contested period.

The thirds were outplaying the seconds, making better use of the space, keeping their errors to a minimum, and utilising their turnovers through the excellent shooting of Cat Wood.

The seconds regrouped at halftime; team changes saw Kelen Jones and Jess Zalac come back on to great effect and with Jo Clarke moving to centre, the seconds quickly stormed ahead, helped by the accurate shooting of GS Sophie Davis.

There was some sharp moving and hard battling from the seconds, who outshone their opposition in the third quarter, opening up a 31-20 lead.

The fourth quarter continued in the same tenacious fashion, as the seconds extended their lead further, finishing the game with a 46-24 advantage.

Second team Captain Sophie Davis was happy with the way her side responded against the pressure exerted by the thirds: “The inter-uni matches are always tough fixtures as we all socialize together, and the games are usually close.”

“The thirds played very well and asked a lot of questions of our first half performance; but we're really pleased with how we stepped up our game in the second half."

On the rebound Julia Housden-Slann Tennis Reporter CARDIFF Ladies’ firsts................9 UWE Ladies’ firsts......................1 AFTER A demoralising defeat against Bournemouth, current league leaders, Cardiff Ladies’ First team scored a blinding 9 - 1 victory against UWE. The fixture started with two doubles matches - Erica Maughan and Lizzie Ormerod played first pair, with Claudia Zemke and Julia HousdenSlann partnered in the second rubber.

Maughan and Ormerod played some

stunning tennis in a closely contested game, but suffered an 8 - 3 defeat - a score that really did not reflect the quality of the game and the range of beautiful shots played.

Zemke and Housden-Slann produced a terrific result, both contributing a wide range of shots, resulting in an 8 - 1 victory.

Following the eye-catching doubles play were four spectacular singles matches to decide the tie. The first singles pairing pitted Maughan for Cardiff against the number one seed from UWE. The match was an intense two-setter, including some powerful service games in a deserved 6 - 1, 6 – 4 win for the Cardiff player.

The second seed for Cardiff was

TENNIS: Smashing it up

Ormerod, who played an unquestionably exceptional game, firing winners from every available angle, and blasting her opponent off the court in a 6 3, 6 – 1 result.

The third singles competitor was Zemke, who blitzed her opponent, displaying exceptional dexterity and a marvelous forehand in destroying the UWE seed 6 - 0, 6 – 0.

The fourth and final singles match saw Ladies’ captain Alex Dziuba construct a professional and slick game, highlighting her smooth style of play, as she manufactured a 6 - 1, 6 – 3 success.

The team lie third in BUSA 2A after their 9 – 1 truimph over UWE, but have a game in hand on Bristol seconds.

On the strength of this performance, they could well overtake the Bristol side with a win on their travels at Southampton Solent next week.

g a i rr h y d d

Sport

Dave Menon chats to snooker legend Jimmy White Page 14

5/5 Stars Angharad Jones Rugby Reporter PLYMOUTH Ladies’ firsts..........5 CARDIFF Ladies’ firsts...........10

BACK ON TRACK Arse’Alona derail champions Engin and open up the race for the two coveted Group B Premiership places Frank Nally IMG Reporter A RESURGENT Arse’Alona kept their Premiership hopes alive after recording an emphatic victory over champions Engin.

After making a surprisingly sluggish start to the season, Arse’Alona have hit form at the best possible time. They have subsequently increased the pressure on Engin and leaders Gym Gym after rising to third in Group B. Furthermore, last year’s runners-up took revenge over Engin, who claimed the title six months ago on virtue of goal difference.

And the intensity of this grudge match lived up to all expectations. However, the high standard of football didn’t wane, as both sides were determined to set the pace in the early exchanges.

Engin created the first chance of the game and almost took the lead when Greg Swanson brilliantly saved a shot from Richard Veale.

Play then switched into Engin’s half, as Arse’Alona worked hard to win a corner.

From the resulting set-piece, skipper Mo Fawzi opened the scoring with a header.

This left the Engin players furious, as they

didn’t believe the ball had crossed the line.

True to their valour, Engin fought back and the lively Veale continued to cause problems for the Arse’Alona defence. But exceptional play from Matt Tinsley made it difficult for Engin to find an equlaiser.

The Arse’Alona lead was short-lived.

Despite some excellent work from winger Frank Nally at the other end, Engin soon drew level when defender Joe Tanton applied the final touch following a corner.

Although Engin’s spirits were lifted, Arse’Alona responded purposefully.

Thanks to some encouraging words from the injured Alex Hudson, their play became significantly more composed.

When Olly Tolcher played an exquisite through pass moments before half-time, striker James Meredith slotted the ball home to give Arse’Alona a 2 - 1 lead at the break.

Both teams knew they had everything to play for, but it was Arse’Alona who put Engin under immediate pressure after the interval. The score was soon 3 - 1 when Jake Dolphin headed home a Frank Nally cross.

As the weather deteriorated, the play followed suit, as hefty challenges began to fly in. Engin’s frustration was beginning to

show and after three consecutive rash challenges, tempers flared as the referee stopped play.

When play resumed, the talented Tolcher sealed the points for Arse’Alona with a fantastic solo goal.

After receiving the ball from Matthew Hutcheon, Tolcher dribbled past a couple of defenders, before beating the goalkeeper with a stylish lob.

Engin certainly seemed to run out of steam as Arse’Alona began to open them up on regular occasions. And when they did get forward, their misery continued when goalkeeper Swatkins made an array of superb saves.

Not satisfied with a 4-1 victory, Arse’Alona continued to push with the tenacious Tinsley acting as the driving force of the team. The victory was capped when substitute Hudson was brought down in the area, allowing Ben Williams scored his first goal for Arse’Alona from the spot.

Derailed and dejected, Engin captain Steve Davies said afterwards: “We’re obviously disappointed with the result, but to be fair, Arse’Alona were better on the day”.

Despite their loss, Davies added: “We’re still confident about getting a Premiership place.”

CARDIFF LADIES Rugby remain unbeaten at the top of BUSA 1A, after a closely fought battle away at Plymouth.

The result leaves the Ladies flying high with 15 points, holding a three point margin over nearest rivals Gloucestershire.

The early start and long journey south seemed to affect Cardiff who were slow of the mark, giving away a number of penalties early on.

The home team capitalised on this shaky start in the sixth minute as they took the lead with their hooker crossing, leaving Cardiff trailing for the first time all season.

Cardiff soon sprung to life and some good ground-work by the forwards resulted in hooker Kerry Boxall powering over the line. However, the visitors were left frustrated as the try was called back for a knock-on.

Cardiff kept up the momentum and soon they did register their first points of the day through a 25th minute try from captain Simone Shephard. The centre picked up from the back of a ruck, spotted a gap out wide, and swiftly crossed untouched to even the score.

Continual Cardiff pressure was rewarded when they took the lead with a try from centre Emily Shephard early in the second half.

The forwards stole a Plymouth lineout and quickly moved the ball along the back line, releasing Shephard to score the match-winner in the corner.

Cardiff’s win was even more impressive considering several members of the pack were unavailable, and therefore a number of inexperienced players were thrown in at the deep end.

However, the new intake came through the match un-scathed and maintained the high-quality of rugby displayed by the team so far this season.

Arse’Alona

5

Engin

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