Gair Rhydd - Issue 831

gair rhydd

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ISSUE 831 DECEMBER 11 2006

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

sity Hall

In 1996 two Cardiff students died of meningitis in Univer

This tree is a memorial to the horrific events of that year 10 years on gair rhydd looks at what happened... ... and whether it could have been avoided Five page meningitis special Page 13

Q U E N C H

QUE NCH .GA IRR HYD D.C OM > VOL 4.4 7 >DE C 11 200 6

“I was told that there is so much car crime in Cardiff they can’t, or won’t, do anything about a specific case”

NO ACTION Disabled student claims that police have not done enough to recover his stolen car

Joanna Dingle News Editor A DISABLED STUDENT is angry with the way he has been treated by police following the theft of his car while he was in hospital.

Robert Walters, a second year Computer Science student who suffers from Crohn’s disease, visited the Heath Hospital on Wednesday evening for a routine check-up, but was told he was to stay in overnight for more tests. He was not discharged until

Tuesday.

Mr Walters was not aware that his car had been taken from close to his home on Arabella Street, Roath, until his aunt visited the house on Saturday morning to collect his post.

He called the police on Saturday and informed them that he was in hospital and of the ward in which he was staying.

He said: “I was told that someone would sort it out, that someone would come and get a statement from me. But soon afterwards they called back saying that they didn’t

GUARD IAN STUD ENT E MAGA ZIN OF THE YEA R

LOS S CAMPESINOS! be “If we dropped out of uni now we’d complete idiots... Cardiff is brilliant”

Meett everyone’ss new favourite e band

“I tell you what, when you go on stage and you’ve got fresh socks on, you’re on fire”

THE MAGIC NUMBERS TALK TO QUENCH

QUENCH meets the Cardiff band ever yone in music is raving about

know where I was – when I had clearly told them the details in our first conversation.

“I missed a call from the police and when I tried to call them back, the phone just rang for 20 minutes.

“When I hung up and called again, I was put through to someone in the control centre who told me that it was ‘just a stolen car’, that they were ‘not going to look for it’ and repeatedly asked me:

INSIDE

Continued on Page Four

Page 20

DUSTIN HOFFMAN talks to gair rhydd

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NEWS

DECEMBER.11.2006 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

University online?

At

a glance

EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley FEATURES Amy Harrison, Ben Bryant LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV John, TV Neil, TV Jane, TV Ellen LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MINUTE FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITORS James Perou, Sarah Day SUB EDITOR Cathal McMahon ONLINE EDITOR Paul Springett PROOF READERS Kieran Harwood, Aisling Tempany, Andy Rennison, Indraj, Rachel Greenwood, Sarah Murray, Ed Vanstone CONTRIBUTORS Victoria Lane, Samantha Shillabeer, Corinne Rhoades, Ed Pitchforth, Tash Prest-Smith, Jeni Fisher, Emma Jones, Matt Horwood, Holly Bassett, Lee Macaulay, Lucy higgins, Adam Gasson, James Stileman, Edwinna Ronners, Huw Davies, Andrew Styles, Tim Hewish, James McLaren, Laura Foster, Becky Johnson, Elizabeth Winder, Karen Euwens, Yousar Jafar, Rachel McWhinney, Gordon Lawrence, Gwilym Conran, Scott D’Arcy, Ben Jones, Ed Slater, George Foot, Becky Oatley, James Clifford, Erica Bone, Shaun Hill, Natalie Parkinson ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

Samantha Shillabeer Reporter CARDIFF UNIVERSITY is embarking on a programme to allow students to manage their academic and social lives online.

The Modern IT Working Environment scheme will mean both staff and students can access information on many aspects of university life.

Reading lists, timetables, social events and discussion groups will be available, and staff will be able to share information using collaborative

workspaces.

The University has chosen the major global IT company IBM as its partner for the programme which will be managed by the University’s Information Services Directorate.

Vice-Chancellor Dr David Grant said: “The Modern Working Environment will underpin a transition in the way we work at Cardiff and has an important role to play in delivering our vision for the university.

“It marks a major contribution to the University’s world-class research, learning and teaching, and will further enhance the student experience.”

Martyn Harrow, Director of Information Services, said: “This is the most ambitious IT-enabled change programme undertaken so far by the University. We look forward to working with IBM and the wider University community to deliver this key programme.”

The programme will be available any time of the day, from anywhere in the world. A pilot scheme will begin in 2007.

University staff and students can access further information regarding the MWE at https://mwenews. cardiff.ac.uk/.

Scotland: highest drop-out rate

PHOTO: ADAM GASSON

December 11 2006 News 1 Editorial & Opinion 7 Letters 10 Column 11 Politics 12 Features 13 Science/Environment 18 Interviews 20 Jobs & Money 23 Media 25 Health 27 Television 29 Problem Page 37 Five Minute Fun 39 Grab 40 Listings 42 Sport 44

Students may soon be able to manage their academic and social lives online

Tasha Prest-Smith Reporter SCOTTISH universities and colleges are under pressure to act, after it has been revealed that Scotland has the highest drop-out rate in the UK. The Scottish Funding Council, which allocates government funding for colleges and universities, has now set out plans to improve the situation.

Institutions with high drop-out rates will be expected to provide annual updates on the action they are taking.

Universities Scotland, which represents university principals, stated: “Scotland’s higher drop-out rate is partially due to the success of attracting students from poorer backgrounds.

“Students who are the first in their family to attend college or university are more likely to drift away from their studies, because there’s no tradition of committing to further and higher education.”

THE NUMBER of tourists who visit Cardiff has dropped sharply in the past year, despite a general UK trend of rising tourism figures.

Cardiff has experienced a nine per cent decline in visitors compared to last year.

The figures from the VisitBritain organisation revealed Cardiff’s poor

THATCHER: Or is it the Queen?

RAMSAY: He wouldn’t cook toast

A toast to Xmas Portraits of famous figures made from Marmite on toast make for a love/ hate Christmas gift Emma Jones Reporter

Questionnaires mean prizes THREE CARDIFF University students collected their prize laptops in the Main Building last week, after participating in the online survey ‘Project Q’.

The questionnaire was designed

to see what new students thought about life at the University.

Both University representatives and Students’ Union president Joe Al-Khayat (above) attended the prize ceremony.

Cardiff tourism in crisis Jeni Fisher Reporter

BEAUTIFUL: James Blunt

performance, entering the list of top 20 UK destinations for visits in 2005 at number 15.

These figures were released during the annual convention of the Association of British Travel Agents, showing 726,000 people visited Cardiff from other locations in the UK. Cardiff was not the only city to see a drop in tourists with York experiencing a 15 per cent plummet.

Although it is Europe’s youngest

capital, Cardiff has struggled to compete with other destinations such as London and Edinburgh.

Chief executive Tom Wright said: “For Britons, while city destinations are increasingly popular, it’s obvious that we still have an abiding affection for the traditional seaside holiday.”

It is hoped that with projects such as the filming of Torchwood in Cardiff, there will be an improvement in next year’s figures.

A MAN has spent £920 on an unusual Christmas present for his wife this year, which she will either really love or really hate.

Caterer and father-of-four Wayne Withers, 38, who runs a sandwich and rolls business in New Tredegar, bought pictures of 10 well-known celebrities, drawn in Marmite on toast, on eBay. The “Marmarts”, by artist Dermot Flynn, feature celebrities such as Charlotte Church, and David Cameron and are based on a “love or hate” theme, much like the famous yeast spread itself.

Mr Withers said he wanted to give his wife Lisa “something for Christmas that nobody has got”, but the festive surprise was ruined after news of the unusual purchase hit the headlines.

The money raised from their sale will go to children’s art organization, Room 13.

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Santas race for charity SANTAS: Working off the mince pies

Holly Bassett Reporter HUNDREDS of bearded and redrobed runners descended upon the market town of Newtown in mid Wales last week to take part in the annual Santa Run.

The event on Sunday December 3 saw between 700 and 800 participants running the 4.5 miles in a sea of red and white, and £10,000 was raised for the local community transport charity Newtown and District Dial A Ride.

This year was the sixth year a

Santa Run has been organised in Newtown. The 2004 race achieving a Guinness World Record for the largest Santa gathering, with 3,445 participants.

The event this year was temporarily cancelled due to another charity run being held 35 miles away in

Owestry, Shropshire on the same day in aid of a hospice. However, organisers of the Newtown event said they did not blame the rival event for numbers being down this year.

Tammy Sinden, one of the organisers, said: “We are thrilled we

decided to go ahead.

“Even though the event was on a much smaller scale it was still successful.

“I hear the others had a successful event as well and we’re pleased we both managed to have great days within such a close space.”

Matt Horwood Reporter LITTLE BRITAIN fans are in for a treat as plans for a game based on the award-winning show are announced.

The game, which includes recordings of actors’ voices, will see players working through eight levels as characters from the popular BBC1 comedy series.

Challenges range from getting wheelchair-bound Andy into a swimming pool without carer Lou noticing to ensuring Daffydd Thomas really is the ‘only gay in the village’ by mowing over other ‘gays’ on a push-bike.

The game is due for release in January 2007 and will be available for the Playstation 2 and PC. A version for the PSP will be released shortly after.

Since its 2003 debut, Little Britain has scooped three Bafta awards and has become the highest selling DVD TV series this year.

Sean Brennan, head of game makers Blast Entertainment is “extremely happy” to be turning a “British Gem” into a videogame.

He commented: “This is such a well written and popular series and is enjoyed by people of all ages.

“Let’s hope the people of Britain get behind it and shout ‘I want one!’”

Joanna Dingle News Editor A GROUP of 15 students sang Christmas carols in the centre of Cardiff last week in aid of Belarussian orphans with special needs.

The Belarussian Aid For Children, Cardiff Undergraduate Programme (BACCUP) sends groups of students from healthcare-related courses every year to Belarus where they play with the children and perform basic physiotherapy exercises with them.

The carol singing on Queen Street, which was followed up by a fundraising pub-crawl dressed as animals the night afterwards, is just one of the events that BACCUP are using to hopefully raise a total of £15,000 this year.

This sum will help pay for the students’ visit next summer as well as supplies, nappies and a mobile unit to help stimulate handicapped children.

BACCUP member Louise Evans described the day as “festive fun for a very worthy cause.

“Being involved in BACCUP is so rewarding and a whole lot of fun.”

White Christmas

Man caught masturbating near University train station

CATHAYS STATION: A place of pleasure

Katie Kennedy News Editor

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

Computer says yes

PHOTO: ADAM GASSON

Baccup vocals

A MAN HAS been arrested for indecent exposure after two incidents that took place in Cathays railway station car park were reported to the police.

A member of the public called the police after allegedly seeing the man masturbating in his car early in the morning on two occasions.

The man appeared at Cardiff Crown Court a month ago charged with a series of other offences relating to indecent exposure.

A source said: “Apparently he got to the station early and didn’t know what to do so just thought that he would entertain himself.”

Since then, members of the public including students - have reported a number of similar incidents taking place in the Cathays area. It is not thought that these are connected to the arrested man.

A police spokesman said: “There is nothing to suggest that this man will pose a danger to anyone. We’ve had reports in the last few weeks of a similar nature and description but these may not be connected to the man in question.

“There have also been problems of this nature reported on the Talybont cycle path.

“Some victims may be able to ignore it, but for others it can be very upsetting. We urge people to report it if they have been victim of it.”

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DECEMBER.11.2006 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

CARDIFF: Pretty, but is it pricey?

Cardiff only second cheapest night out in Britain according to new research

Lucy Higgins Reporter CARDIFF IS NOT free from the threat of terrorism, police have warned, with the Millennium Stadium being a potential target for terrorists.

Barbara Wilding, South Wales’ Chief Constable has revealed that citizens should not consider Wales to be a place that is exempt from terrorist attacks, as “there are no terrorist-free zones now”.

Although it is impossible to predict if and when future terrorist attacks will happen, Wilding said: “With terrorism now, it is people who are targeted.”

She has identified the Millennium Stadium as a potential target, mainly due to its size and capacity for 74,500 people.

However, the Chief Constable has vowed to advance the safety of South Wales by making organised crime as unwelcome as possible.

Cardiff’s intolerance of organised crime is thought to encourage the safety of the city, and with only a handful of firearms incidents in the city, security through law enforcement seems to be increasing.

Wilding proposes that the key to protecting ourselves and fellow citizens lies in community action.

To summarise, she said: “Communities solve terrorism.”

PHOTO: MATT HORWOD

New Mama’s owner has high standards

FAST-FOOD fans should not be put off by the food safety court case currently surrounding Mama's Kebab House, the takeaway's new proprietor has said.

Rebwar Khalid, of Pentwyn, Cardiff, took over the shop, which is located on Salisbury Road in Cathays, in July 2006, and insists that he has maintained high standards ever since.

The establishment's previous owner, Jalal Shiwani, 43, has been charged with seven food safety offences, including failing to provide the facilities for staff to maintain a decent level of personal hygiene.

Mr Khalid, 32, said: "I pride myself on high standards of cleanliness and health and safety. We have never had any complaints from customers."

Come pay?

CARDIFF

Lee Macaulay Reporter

NIGHT OUT: Ramshackle in Bristol

CARDIFF is not the cheapest place in the UK to go out on a Saturday night anymore, research has found.

The annual Saturday Night Index produced by Young Persons Railcard has revealed that Bristol is the cheapest place in the UK to go out on a Saturday night at only £12.16.

The study, that takes into account all of the UK’s major cities, put Cardiff second behind Bristol, which means the two have swapped positions from last year.

The index comprises of the average costs of a bus ticket, a pint of beer, getting into a club, a taxi back home and a compulsory end-ofthe-night kebab.

Andrew Robertson, a spokesperson for Young Persons Railcard, said: “Each year the Saturday Night Index reveals some really interesting insights.

“Most notably this year, Cardiff and Bristol have swapped places in the chart and, surprisingly, Newcastle’s ranking has dropped quite considerably.”

The research also found that the average cost of a night out has dropped by almost a quarter since last year.

Car theft in Roath Continued from page one

‘What do you want us to do?’”

When Mr Walters asked what the police would be doing to help he was told they did not have the resources to appeal door to door for witnesses.

The black Mini, with chrome finish and unusual Union Jack interior, is especially valuable to Mr Walters due to his disability, which makes it harder

for him to get around.

Last Tuesday, he called the local police station on Crwys Road, Cathays who are dealing with the incident, and once again came away with a response he found unsatisfactory.

He said: “The person I spoke to looked on the computer and told me the case had been unassigned. This either means that something had been

done but it’s not on the computer, or nothing had been done– I suspected it was the latter.”

Mr Walters called the station again on Thursday December 7, and spoke to a civilian who told him it would not be ethical to comment on the progress of the case.

Mr Walters continued: “I was told that there is so much car crime in

Calls to stop cheats answered Emma Jones Reporter DISHONEST STUDENTS will soon find it harder to cheat using their mobiles, a report has revealed.

It has been suggested that pupils should sit exams in rooms with no mobile phone reception to combat technology-aided cheating and that airport-style security scanners should be installed to ensure candidates cannot take their phones into the examination room.

The report is a result of increased fears that thousands of pupils may be getting answers by texting friends or accessing the internet during tests.

Professor Jean Underwood, of Nottingham Trent University, was commissioned by The Qualifications and Curriculum Authority (QCA) to undertake a report on ‘digital technologies and dishonesty in examinations and tests’.

She said: “Mobile technologies make plagiarism and associated activities possible in the examination hall. In

small examination sites monitored by vigilant staff, students have limited opportunities to use mobile devices for cheating.

“However, in larger test centres with many students, mobile phones and PDAs facilitate student exchange of notes with other exam takers, the receipt of text messages from classmates outside the lecture hall, and searching the web.”

Boris Johnson, Conservative higher education minister, has given backing to a recently published guide entitled ‘Avoid Plagiarism like the Plague’, which teaches students how to use internet essays to help them pass exams without cheating.

Mr Johnson wrote in the foreword of the guide: “We are eroding the distinction in a child's mind between what is their own intellectual achievement and what is a rip-off. I am fairly sure that this is one of the reasons why there has been such an increase in plagiarism at all levels of education. Pupils are used to seeing stuff come off the web, and thinking of it as 'theirs’.”

Cardiff they can’t, or won’t, do anything about a specific case.

“When I asked if they couldn’t cope with the car crime in the city, they simply said it was a ‘problem nationally’.”

With regards to the incident, a police spokesperson said: “The case has been given a crime number and the car’s registration is being circulated on the police computer.”

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

Cardiff stadium may be a target

STUDENTS: Have resorted to new methods of cheating

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NEWS

DECEMBER.11.2006

PHOTOS: JAMES PEROU

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

PC BOB: Breaks in

Cops and robbers Natalie Parkinson Reporter

OPEN WINDOW: Where’s my ladder?

BURGLARS AND policemen worked together last Tuesday to increase vigilance about housing security.

Students dressed as robbers accompanied student liaison officer PC Bob Keohane during the Union’s weeklong safety campaign, as he demonstrated how easy it is to break into houses in Cathays.

Out of five front doors tested, only two had been locked. Flyers about stu-

Brand new Heath forum

dent safety awareness were left at houses that were found with unlocked doors or open windows.

PC Keohane emphasized that student areas are burglars’ favourite targets, saying: “The difference between my house and a student house is that I have one of something, whilst you have five of everything.”

He added that the appearance of the house is important, with letting signs, piles of bin bags and notices on doors all signifying that the house is empty, and therefore an easy target.

PC Keohane advised students to register their belongings free of

Rent up

Students pay more and live in luxury as accommodation costs increase by a quarter Corinne Rhoades Reporter

HEATH: Students consider future of the MedClub A NEW FORUM is to be held to consider the requirements of students on health-related courses.

Student representatives will gather in MedClub on Thursday December 14, to discuss strategies to activate, incorporate and represent the wants and needs of students based at the Heath Park campus.

Each school is required to send a student representative to consider issues such as health month and the future of MedClub.

charge at www.immobilise.com, to allow police to identify stolen property more easily.

He said: “Take all your gear with you at Christmas, as thieves will know that half the population of Cathays will be away.

“It’s a good idea to ask your neighbours to keep an eye on the house while you’re away.”

It is hoped that soon Cardiff will be the safest student city, with an average of one in 12 students becoming victims of crime, compared with the national average of one in three.

A housing fair will be held in the

STUDENT RENTS have increased by almost a quarter in two years, a recent NUS survey has shown.

The rise is thought to be due to an increase in luxurious private accommodation for students being offered by universities.

Over 50% of next year’s student accommodation is expected to be provided by private companies, pushing average rent payments up to £82 per week.

The survey, carried out by NUS and Unipol this summer, showed Wales was the cheapest place for students to live, with an average weekly rent of £67.

London-based students, on the other hand, pay an average of £100 rent per week and, when combined with living costs and course fees from an estimated income of £4,627 per year, could end up £6,326 in debt.

NUS vice-president for welfare,

Veronica King commented: “For the students for whom luxury is not affordable, there is a significant risk that accommodation costs, coupled with the burden of top-up fees, may reduce the effect of choice of where to go to university.”

Thirty-nine percent of student accommodation now includes ensuite bathrooms, with luxurious halls of residence providing tenants with broadband Internet and gym memberships.

Private accommodation, such as Cardiff’s Severn Point and Victoria Hall residences, feature satellite TV as well as telephone and Internet connections.

Top-range student rooms even include a double bed at a yearly cost of up to £3,345, compared to the cheapest of Cardiff’s student halls which start from £1,890 per year.

The increase in the cost of private halls is thought to have left students living in accommodation they cannot afford.

A third of working class students

POUNDS: More disappearing for your landlord

Union in February. First-year students are advised to look for a house that is not at the end of a terrace or next to a lane, but that does have a five lever or Yale lock.

Safety tips can be found in the housing guide that will be available in Cardiff Student Letting in the Union after Christmas.

Punters at Rubber Duck and Come Play last week were handed free attack alarms and free drinks with flyers to create awareness of drink spiking.

The alarms can be bought at the union shop for £1.50.

Welsh are Internet porn kings

WELSH PEOPLE buy more Internet porn than anyone else in the UK, new research has revealed.

40.5% of Cardiff and Swansea residents admitted to buying online erotica in a survey by web expert Conchango.

The Glaswegians were not far behind, with 37.5% of inhabitants using the ‘net to buy porn anonymously, marginally more than the Geordies and Brummies, both at 36.4%.

The survey, which questioned 1,000 people, found that one in three people across the UK buy Internet pornography.

Mike Altendorf, of Conchango, said: “The figures show that the Internet is not only a more convenient way to shop but it also affords us the privacy to fulfil our sexual fantasies.

“With only one in ten people willing to shop for porn on the high street it goes to show we can use the Internet to make the purchases we’re too embarrassed to make in person.”

Fewer people trust the Internet with real relationships, but a quarter of people have now tried online dating agencies when looking for love.

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WORLD NEWS

DECEMBER.11.2006 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Gateway to peace in Iraq?

World News In Brief Victoria Lane Reporter

GENDER: No longer a legal issue in South Africa?

You may now kiss the brides Same-sex marriages to become legal in South Africa, outlawing discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation Samantha Shillabeer Reporter

NEW: Is this the US Defence Secretary emerging?

ROBERT GATES, confirmed to be the new US Defence Secretary has stated: “What we are doing now [in Iraq] is not satisfactory.”

The former CIA director, 63, has been picked by George Bush to fill the role that Donald Rumsfeld resigned from after the U.S. midterm elections.

Notably, Rumsfeld wrote a memo only days before also saying the present tactics in Iraq are not working.

Gates spoke to a Senate confirmation hearing last Tuesday about the current military situation in the turbulent country.

He said: “I suspect in hindsight some of the folks in the administration would not make the same decisions they made.

“Our course over the next year or two will determine whether the American and Iraqi people and the next president of the United States will face a slowly-but-steadily improving situation in Iraq and in the region or will face the very real risk, and possible reality, of a regional conflagration.”

He went on to say that “long term stability in Iraq will be influenced by Syria and Iran”.

Gates also announced that the White House administration should “look at ways to bring them to be constructive.

How we do that, I don't have any specific ideas at this point.”

When asked if giving a set timetable for the withdrawal of troops would be detrimental to the US position in Iraq he replied that it “would essentially tell [the insurgents] how long they have to wait until we’re gone.”

In terms of the future of the US-led occupation, he said it would remain for “a long time ... but it could be with a dramatically smaller number of U.S. forces than are there today.”

While the Bush administration will undoubtedly refuse to endorse Gates’ assertions publicly, it seems fair that they probably share his views with regards to the worrying situation in the Middle East.

Almost 3,000 U.S. soldiers have been killed in Iraq since the beginning of the war, and many critics have claimed that the incessant sectarian violence has essentially become a civil war.

SAME-SEX marriages are to become legal in South Africa – the first country in Africa to do so – when a new law is introduced this week.

The National Assembly passed the bill 230-41 with three abstentions.

It will now go to the National Council of Provinces, which is expected to be a formality, before being legalised by President Thabo Mbeki.

The bill provides for the “voluntary union of any two persons, which is solemnized and registered by either a marriage or civil union”.

It was approved by MPs two weeks ago despite opposition from religious groups and traditional leaders.

This law will make South Africa the first African country to allow gay people to wed.

The Constitutional Court ruled last year that the existing marriage

Working Group, Fikile Vilakazi said: “We are very happy.

“We welcome the political commitment shown by the country’s leaders.

“It is an historic decision in terms of the African continent.”

During the parliamentary debate earlier this month, Home Affairs Minister, Nosiviwe MapisaNqakula told MPs: “In breaking with our past, we need to fight and resist all forms of discrimination and prejudice, including homophobia.”

Defense Minister, Mosuia Lekota added: “This country cannot afford to be a prison of timeworn prejudices which have no basis in modern society.

“Let us bequeath to future generations a society which is more democratic and tolerant than the one that was handed down to us.”

Activists in Europe, where several countries have same-sex union provisions, hailed South Africa as a shining example and gay couples in the country have already started making wedding plans.

Cookie power Adverts in San Francisco smell like cookies in a bid to raise sales of milk Corinne Rhoades Reporter

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

James Stileman Reporter

laws discriminated against homosexuals, but the new Civil Union Act gives gay couples the same rights as heterosexual couples.

The ruling is the first in the world specifically to outlaw discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation.

Homosexuality is illegal in Zimbabwe, Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, Ghana and most other sub-Saharan countries. Even in South Africa, gays and lesbians are often attacked because of their sexual orientation.

Reuters news agency reports that religious groups had mounted a last-ditch effort to block the new marriage law, demanding a referendum on the issue.

“To force the morality of the radical homosexual minority on the people of South Africa through law is, in effect, to lead the masses astray.” stated the Christian Action Network.

Gay activist groups however have greatly welcomed the new law.

Spokeswoman for the Joint

MILK MONEY: That’s the way the cookie crumbles

BUS SHELTERS in San Francisco now smell like freshly-baked cookies.

In a bid by a campaign to bring about travellers’ thirst for milk in California, sweet-smelling adverts have been installed in several bus shelters throughout the US city.

Similar to technology used in scented magazine ads, adhesives give off the smell of cookies once placed inside bus shelters and underneath the waiting benches.

The Milk Processor Board, innovators of the “Got Milk?” campaign, is

famous for using celebrities in their ads and giving them all milk moustaches.

However, the cookie-scented ads are thought to be the first entirely outdoor campaign of this kind by marketing officials Goodby, Silverston & Partners.

The ad firm, who has long been involved with scented advertisments, came up with the idea for the cookie campaign.

When asked to comment on the cookie-scented shelters, one elderly woman said: “As long as they are not harmful chemicals, it’s OK… “They are trying to sell milk? Is that it?”

Phoneback mountain A SUSSEX MAN had to be rescued by helicopter after getting stuck on Table Mountain in Cape Town.

Leigh Lander , was stranded on a 100ft ledge after trying to walk down an abseil route. He made a call to his granddad back in the UK who then sent him the telephone number of the local mountain rescue team.

Lander took a wrong turn on the way down. He later said: “I was thinking it was extremely challenging, then just lost my footing. I feel silly, but I'm glad to be alive. The ledge saved me.”

A real pikey A WOMAN was stopped trying to board a flight with a 3ft pike in her bag.

The 51-year-old was flying to Moscow from Polyarny airport in Russia after she was stopped because she smelt funny.

Custom officers lifted out the fish and 25 large, uncut diamonds fell out. The diamonds are presumed to be stolen, and an investigation has been started.

The women thought that the smell of the fish would be enough to put guards off.

Really big square eyes THE WORLD’S biggest plasma TV screen has gone on sale in John Lewis on Oxford Street.

The TV costs £50,000 and a further £5000 to be delivered and installed. The 220kg/8ft7in TV has been dubbed the “armchair sportsman’s dream” and there is a 3 month waiting list at the Panasonic factory in Japan.

More than 480,000 were sold in October and it is already too late to get one for Christmas Day.

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EDITORIAL & OPINION

DECEMBER.11.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

freewords the voice of gairrhydd

Est. 1972

Ten years on

I

t’s hard to imagine what life was like for freshers in Cardiff in late 1996. Just a few after leaving home for the first time in their lives, they were faced with what could have been one of the biggest challenges of their lives: two of their fellow first years died of meningitis and over 30 others contracted the disease.

The meningitis outbreak in University Hall in December 1996 was one of the largest of its kind and it was the first time a higher education institution had had to deal with disease on this kind of scale. There may have been loose plans in place about what do in this kind of emergency, but reports suggest that no one really knew how much needed to be done.

Questions were raised about how well the authorities dealt with the outbreak and criticisms were hurdled at everyone, from the GPs that failed to immediately diagnose the girls, to the University for not making students completely aware of the situation.

10 years later and all parties claim to have learnt from the devastating incident.

However, this week gair rhydd has found disturbing evidence that, despite efforts to get the message across to students, there are still a worrying amount of people that don’t know anything about the disease.

It would be easy to blame this on the University for failing to make students aware: it would be equally easy to blame students for not looking out for themselves. But the truth is that all parties are to blame. Students should educate themselves about meningitis and the University should do more than just put up a load of posters and expect people to read them.

And all parties should do this quickly, because, although there are now much more stringent procedures in place to deal with meningitis outbreaks, what happened in 1996 should never, ever be allowed to happen again.

Grand Theft Auto

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nyone who brings their car to university with them runs the risk of it being damaged, broken into or stolen: we all know that Cathays and Roath aren’t exactly the ideal areas to leave a vehicle lying around for a couple of days.

But for some people, a car is essential and no amount of warnings from the University and the police will deter them from bringing it to Cardiff.

This was the case for the student featured on this week’s front page: because of his illness he needs a car to get around in. Leaving it at home is not an option for him.

It is tragic that his car was stolen while he was in hospital. It is even more regrettable that the police have no time to try to recover the Mini.

Being under staffed and under funded is the norm for most police forces around the country and, however awful it is that they cannot help someone with such extreme circumstances more, it is understandable.

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A degree of snobbery My course is better than your course... Adam Millward laments the rise and rise of the term ‘Mickey Mouse’ degree

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ike many such catchphrases, I’m not at all sure why ‘Mickey Mouse’ degree leapt into popularity, but I, for one, would sure as hell like to kick it back out.

I doubt that in 2003, the former higher education minister, Margaret Hodge, ever expected her throwaway soundbite to have such an enduring legacy – though on second-thoughts, maybe she did. What I do know is these three little words are some of the very few uttered by a politician that have actually come to affect my life.

Even before I’d left home to start my Journalism, Film and Media degree (cue scoff), I was being informed by friends and strangers alike that my course was supposedly associated with the big-eared, squeaky-voiced Disney legend.

Perhaps I’d missed some small print in the prospectus? Perhaps the presence of a well-known cartoon character was intended to allay any nerves about leaving home? Either way, at the time, I’d let the comments go.

Only when I reached Cardiff, I found that the Mickey Mouse spectre had followed me.

During my first year, it got to the stage that when I was rambling through the obligatory name/where you from/which halls you at/what course do you do dialogue, I began to pre-empt the sniggers and the disappointed ‘oh’s by attacking myself with the MM jibe – for the simple reason that it stopped anyone else from using it.

It was at the start of the second year, with no signs of the criticism abating, that a voice inside of me said “enough is enough”. I realised that the people who used the Disney-dig were ‘degree-snobs’.

Degree-snobs, I’ve decided, are those within and outside the field of education who take it upon themselves to put subjects into a hierarchy – coincidently, often with their own courses positioned at the top.

As well as the obvious issue of an individual mandating which degrees constitute ‘real’ degrees and ordering their worth on an utterly personal basis, I propose that subjects cannot be graded into Mickey Mouse / serious or any other such categories.

So what actually is the definition of a Mickey Mouse degree?

According to a housemate (who’s a geneticist, which, of course, we’re all aware is most-definitely not a Mickey Mouse degree) an MM degree is one that’s lightweight, easy, with limited hours and which undermines the worth of degrees in general.

As Guardian education correspondent James Meikle puts it, they are degrees considered to possess “little academic merit”.

From these descriptions, one would assume that the opposite – an unMickey Mouse degree – would be academically esteemed, difficult, and have many hours of lectures.

I don’t know where to start on the shortcomings of this argument.

Let’s say that academically esteemed degrees are the sort run by Oxford and Cambridge, and are commonly regarded as classical subjects (which I realise is flawed by subjectivity in itself). These might include the natural sciences, Law, History, and Mathematics to name a few.

Subjects cannot be graded into Mickey Mouse, serious, or any other such categories Firstly, a subject’s difficulty cannot be measured scientifically. For example, a person who could discuss the minutiae of astrophysics may not have a clue when it comes to art and design and vice versa. Subjects are not interchangeable in an equation of complexity – they are simply too different to compare.

As for judging a degree on the fullness / emptiness of its timetable, I hope I don’t even have to explain the absurdity of this. How can time have any relevance on what makes a genuine degree?

If that was the case, ‘heavyweight’ degrees such as Law and History would be pretty low on the subject hierarchy, as students I know on these courses have an 11-hour week and a 4-hour week respectively. As we all know, there are many hours of reading, research and thinking which do not feature on a timetable, and so this measure of a degree’s quality becomes defunct.

Thirdly, it cannot be forgotten that a degree is infinitely more than a qualification.

A degree, for the majority, involves attending a higher education institution (okay, so you hardly need to be Einstein to figure that one out).

What’s significant is that, for many, this means major upheaval. Whether this is moving out of home, making new friends, learning a language and other skills, or trying to juggle work and education, degrees often lead to first-time experiences in spheres completely unrelated to academia.

If Mickey Mouse degrees were to be abolished, as some would have it, you would be depriving thousands not just of the degree of their choice, but of such invaluable life experiences.

Before degree-snobs rebuke that you could encounter these experiences if you went straight into the workplace, I’ll ask: why shouldn’t each and every one of us have the opportunity to experience the transitional period between school/college and full-time employment which a degree provides?

Another of my housemates, who happens to take Maths (and I can categorically state I did not slip a fiver), was on my side in this controversial debate. He quoted the age-old adage “ each to his own”, which I thought was rather fitting.

We mustn’t be afraid to let education evolve As far as I can see, every student is paying the same amount of money into the system as the next – surely the degree they are taking is a matter of personal choice and not anybody else’s concern. Okay, so a course may sound lightweight or vague to you, that’s your opinion, which you’re entitled to, but don’t judge or criticise others.

An article published in the Guardian last week suggests that Mickey Mouse degrees have come of age.

In fact, president of Universities UK, Drummond Bone believes that courses once described as Mickey Mouse are now the “mouse that roared”.

As Bone wisely points out: “it is right that there should be a range of courses on offer to ensure a workforce with diverse, and in some cases very specific, skills.”

If degree-snobs had their way, we’d all be doing the same limited group of courses, which in the long run would lead to some professions being swamped and others empty of any qualified employees. Wouldn’t that be great for the British economy?

Higher education shouldn’t be a small selection of static degrees. It should be education that serves the diverse, learning public - not the other way around.

We mustn’t be afraid to let education evolve. If we didn’t allow room for growth and change, we might still all be learning Latin, be prohibited from certain subjects because of our sex, or, God forbid, not have been introduced to mind-blowingly brilliant courses such as ‘Surf Science’ (at Plymouth University, for those interested).

All this beside – and, of course, the only real reason I’m pissed off – it’s a travesty that Mickey Mouse has come to be used as a derogatory term.

Disney, for all Walt’s crazy, sexually-frustrated, Nazi-sympathising tendencies, should be used only to describe the good things in life; like fruit pies on windowsills, talking animals and random outbursts of song in the sea/jungle/desert.

So, you know what, the next time someone calls your degree Mickey Mouse, do what I now do. Take it as a compliment.

8

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

Equilibrium

Humans have dominated the planet for millions of years. Edwinna Ronners suggests that nature will find its way to restore balance in our currently unbalanced world

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ntil this century, man had one all-consuming ambition as a species: to defy nature.

The obvious obstacle to humanity has always been our surroundings, ever since the first caveman got flash-flooded.

We have striven to dam rivers, predict storms, take flight in this atmosphere and then beyond. Centuries of epic struggle, all in the name of communal back-slapping and all-round high fives.

Now, all of a sudden, societies in the leafy suburb section of the planet have overturned aeons of human philosophy and started being friendly to the earth.

Headline after headline, report after report and panic after panic have been hitting us every day. Summits on climate change, ‘Save Your 20%’, the Stern Report. These examples sell us the illusion of interrogating the unsustainability of roads, factories, airplanes, etc. Underneath their terrified pretence, they are in fact interrogating the unsustainability of man.

There are too many human beings.

This queasy notion forms the quiet core of a concept nobody can stomach.

Nature is defined by balance; when some bigshot species tries to get an unfair slice of life’s resources, the planet gives them a swift kick into touch. In forests, poisonous flowers emerge to keep the number of ants in check; in oceans, a coral-based virus will control the populations of smaller fish. This is how nature works.

Sadly, thanks to our use of fire, clubs and relatively super brains, humans tipped those scales. Our hordes have thus taken not only an unfair slice, but near enough the entire pie.

For a politician, scientist, leader or ecologist, over-population is a prickly problem. To propose spending on wind farms or replanting of forests is fairly easy. But to discuss tackling the fundamental problem of our excess numbers is practically suicidal, due to the immediate accusations of being a genocidal fascist.

Ironically, Hitler’s idea of population policy involved encouraging Aryan mothers to breed, with medals for the most prolific soldier-bearers.

History is littered with cases of practical population purges, with varying results. The good ol’fashioned Roman approach of wiping out entire tribes is obviously no longer viable.

A more recent example would be China, who adopted a policy of one family, one child. Commendable perhaps, considering the threat of overpopulation.

But with a current tally of 1.3 billion citizens, Beijing’s efforts can at best be viewed as nobly too little, too late; at worst, as a general failure.

The problem of addressing this

HUMANS: Spoiling the natural balance issue lies not simply in the potential for Hitler jibes. Presenting as much of a challenge is the fragmentation of our masses. How do you manage the population of a species with no common government, culture, language, consensus, nor any natural predators?

There are too many human beings; this is a notion that nobody can stomach Without single leadership, such an absolute problem cannot be effectively solved. On a planet of 192 countries, hundreds of religions, 6800 languages and around 21 fully ongoing wars, monolithic rule is impossible.

So how are we to sustain our unsustainable existence? Tragically, nature is doing it for us.

As already mentioned, in every ‘natural’ environment nature’s balance produces ways to sustain its perfect equilibrium. In many cases, nature deals with surplus numbers by targeting the obvious: procreation. A recent study found over 200 verified sexually-transmitted infections in animals – animals that had the largest populations.

Last week, we reflected on the appalling devastation of a rampant epidemic: it was World Aids Day. The HIV virus, a sexually-transmitted infection, appeared barely half a century ago. It is thought to have been passed to humans from the primates of Africa’s forests, just as the world’s population began going up by over a billion every 20 years.

An unrelenting infection, HIV’s default victims are those peoples with the highest rates of unprotected procreation coupled with the fewest

means of defending themselves.

Millenniums of evidence show that nature is a sophisticated system. It responds to any overgrown species in the same way, even one that has won so many battles against it.

Considering HIV’s history, its methods, its targets and its timing, is it so unfathomable – however stomach-churning – to consider the Aids pandemic as nature’s population control?

I am not attempting to simplify the complicated issue of a disease that is destroying an undeserving, innocent continent. Nor am I suggesting that just because it can be viewed as ‘natural’ that we should shrug our shoulders and do nothing to help those afflicted while defending those in the firing line.

What needs to happen is a complete shift in world mentality. Cheap flights, fossil fuels and fridge mountains are simply symptoms; we are the disease. Taboo must be overcome and acknowledgement made that 6.5 billion is just too many.

Cheap flights, fossil fuels and fridge mountains are symptoms; we are the disease With recognition, solutions can come next. Not through forced sterilisation or gas chambers or some other nightmare, but through discussion, agreement, policy, and the willingness to plan beyond this decade, even beyond this century.

I’ve just finished watching a repeat of Planet Earth. Attenborough signed off by saying, “Somehow, nature will find a way.” Nature has; now we must find ours.

DECEMBER.11.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Merry bloody Christmas.

Huw Davies gives us an A-Z guide on how to be a grouch

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o here it is, merry Christmas, everybody’s having fun… except us. We hate Christmas. We refuse to open crackers, and we laugh when people electrocute themselves on fairy lights. We’d rather the whole bloody thing was over.

We are the Scrooges.

And for all you wannabe Scrooges out there, here’s a handy A-Z guide to being a miserable sod over Christmas!

Think of it as my present to you.

(Warning: may contain Santa-related spoilers) Alcohol. Always a good place to start, and Christmas is no exception.

Beer, rum, mulled wine, sherry and homemade brandy butter strangely lacking any butter…

Bloody, Buggering, Bollocking Bastards. “Hanging’s too bloody good for the bastards! Bloody bollocking foreigners buggering up our country, the buggering bastards, bloody, bugger, bollocks…” *sigh* Uncle Frank’s round again. The Season of Goodwill is never quite the same without the righteous anger and casual racism of an elderly relative.

Just duck the mouth-to-air carrot missiles when someone mentions the gay couple next door.

Commercialism. At the end of the day, this is what Christmas is all about. The fact that Father Christmas officially belongs to Coca-Cola says it all.

Decorations. Be they cheap `n` tacky or just plain attention-seeking in size, nothing gets a Scrooge moaning more than Christmas decorations.

Trees, too, for shedding needles everywhere.

Eggnog. Will someone please tell me what this is?

Fairytale Of New York. The only good thing to come out of Christmas.

Beautiful song.

Greatest Hits CDs. Time was when a band would wait until retirement, or at least a good 10 years, before releasing a Greatest Hits collection. Now it’s not so much a Best Of as an All Of, and Christmas is the season when that becomes oh-so-very apparent.

Suddenly there’s a green light for a Singles Collection from any pop idols who made it beyond two albums (and The Verve, who really took the piss).

Hangover. Usually from the turkey, but if you’ve escaped your family for long enough to go out on the lash then Boxing Day is probably a write-off.

There’s a reason the suicide rate rockets over Christmas.

Iiiiiiiiiit’s Chriiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaas!

Just in case we didn’t know already. If you’ve not heard this yet, you either don’t own a TV or are in prison for not paying its licence (tut tut). Every bloody advert has some bloody children’s bloody choir singing bloody Slade, and now everyone’s bloody singing it…

Jesus, Birth Of. Relevant, apparently.

Kissing, under mistletoe. Smug couples. Even more smug at Christmas.

Leftovers. Enough to feed Africa.

Someone should alert Bono.

Movies, Christmas. Santa Clause, A Christmas Carol, Jingle All The Way, Miracle On 34th Street, Nightmare On Elm Street…occasionally fun when you’re drunk, but usually rubbish (Tim Burton excepted) and always disgustingly sentimental.

No1, Christmas. See also: X-Factor.

Office Christmas Party. Infamous.

Be careful, be very careful…

Pudding, Christmas.

Does anyone even like it? (For Presents, see U.) Queen’s Speech, The. Better than Channel 4’s Alternative Christmas Message, but still boring: it’s basically a party political broadcast without any real point behind it. Yet inexplicably popular. I blame the elderly.

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.

The heartwarming tale of alienation, bullying and, according to Family Guy, inoperable cancer.

Santa Claus. More people believe in Santa than in Michael Jackson. Fact.

Television. Either ‘special’ editions of game shows and the likes of Little Britain (if it’s Catherine Tate again this year, I might just kill someone) or endless repeats. Does it say something about our society that at this special time of year, generations come together to sit around a TV? Ugly Knitted Jumpers From Gran.

Bit of a stereotype, admittedly.

Vegetables. And, more specifically, sprouts. “Oh, have a few, it’s Christmas” – so? Eating them one day a year doesn’t stop the foul taste hanging around for another 364.

White Christmas. Destined to be no more than a song.

Xmas. The most stupid abbreviation since ‘www’. Does it have fewer syllables? No. Does it even sound like Christmas? No. Is it very, very annoying? Yes. Young Children. As if they need an excuse to get excited. I suppose we can at least begrudge them enjoyment, while the rest of us…

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (the only way to get through it).

gairrhydd

9

EDITORIAL & OPINION

DECEMBER.11.2006 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Time up for Trident?

Ed Pitchforth puts forward the case for a less aggressive British foreign policy and an accordingly reduced armoury of nuclear weapons

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ritain, Britain, Britain: a global superpower and major force in international peacekeeping arrangements. A country that means business and won’t hesitate to get stuck in when the situation requires immediate action. What’s that you say George W, some little upstart’s causing trouble? Start the air strikes immediately old boy, our troops are on their way.

Now the die-hard militarists among the population probably still subscribe to such a view, and fully support our involvement in calamitous danger zones such as Iraq and Afghanistan.

But let’s face it, Britain is no longer the power it used to be, and a series of rash judgements have left our armed forces spread wafer-thin across the globe. Reports have suggested that some of our soldiers in Iraq are hopelessly ill equipped, and that units in Afghanistan are in desperate need of armoured vehicles to protect themselves.

ing terrorists are far more inclined to co-operate knowing the threat we carry. Both North Korea and Iran are rapidly developing nuclear capabilities, and represent a worrying future threat. Our nuclear arsenal can give us reassurance that a strike is relatively unlikely.

At some stage the question has to be asked whether we can sustain armed forces at previous levels

The defence budget currently takes up a massive proportion of the government’s revenue The question of Britain’s future as an international peace-keeping nation is brought into sharp focus by the issue of nuclear rearmament, which Labour are determined to resolve imminently. Britain’s current Trident defence system consists of four Vanguard nuclear submarines carrying 64 missiles between them. The Trident system is reported to be viable until 2024; however any replacement may take up to 10 years to produce.

By my reckoning, this gives us a further eight years to give detailed consideration to an issue of massive significance. However, Tony Blair thinks otherwise, and is insistent that the issue should be resolved before his departure. On Tuesday he announced the Government’s intention to purchase an updated version of the Trident system, at an estimated cost of £20 billion.

The issue will be put to a Commons vote in March; with Blair facing a backlash from backbench MPs, who are enraged at the lack of debate on the issue. I believe they have every right to be angry. This is an issue which requires full scale Parliamentary debate and not the

NUCLEAR WEAPONS: Blimey covert Cabinet discussions which have taken place so far.

Unfortunately, by the time of the vote the issue may only be of academic importance, with the Conservatives expected to back the plans; undermining the chance of a backbench rebellion.

Using the threat of terrorism as a justification for our nuclear weapons is flawed Against this background I believe a re-evaluation of Britain’s role in world politics is appropriate. Britain has always enjoyed a proud military history, but when our empire encompassed a third of the globe, our economy was also the strongest in the world. While it is still the fourth largest, it is no longer the dominant

force it used to be. At some stage the question has to be asked whether we can realistically sustain armed forces at previous levels.

Perhaps the more pertinent question is, do we want to continue to take such an active role in global conflicts?

Let’s face it, we have landed ourselves in some tricky situations, and a back seat role has many advantages.

We would automatically become a less immediate target for a nuclear attack, meaning the need for a new defence package would be diminished.

Instead, our political alignment with the universally detested US has put us directly in the firing line. As a result, Blair suggests that it would be “unwise and dangerous” for the UK to consider nuclear disarmament, identifying rogue nations such as North Korea. A nuclear arsenal is also considered an insurance policy against terrorists developing nuclear capabilities.

For me, using the threat of terror-

ism as a justification for our nuclear weapons is flawed. One of the major lessons from our escapades in Iraq and Afghanistan has been that terrorists can be incredibly difficult to find.

Osama is still loose despite a monumental man-hunt which has stretched on for years. So, if Al-Qaeda or any other terrorist organisations manage to develop the technology to launch a nuclear strike, what will be our response? Rose an entire country to the ground?

Arguably, the vast quantities of money spent on a new Trident system could be put to better use in ‘the war against terrorism.’ A significant injection into the intelligence services budget would enable them to identify terrorist cells operating within in the UK. Potentially devastating plots could be prevented, saving thousands of lives in the process.

Clearly the argument is not that straightforward and the value of nuclear weapons as a deterrent cannot be underestimated. Nations harbour-

In my view, the Roman Catholic bishops were right when they issued a statement asserting that the country is at a “moral and strategic crossroads.”

If Britain is to continue to be an active member of America’s ‘world police’, then commissioning a new package was the correct decision.

Nuclear weapons are a pre-requisite for any nation hoping to have any clout in international conflicts. When was the last time Switzerland where mentioned in the same breath as the UK and US during United Nations negotiations?

But if Britain was to take a more reserved attitude to conflict situations, akin to that of France or Germany, the need for nuclear weapons is less clear.

Ultimately, it seems that Tony Blair simply cannot entertain a future in which Britain does not possess the second most powerful armed forces in the world. The majority of politicians and the public appear to support this notion, but I am not convinced.

Throughout the twentieth century Britain has been at the forefront of world politics, now could be the chance to allow another European nation to take a lead role. This would give us a chance to concentrate on our own affairs. The defence budget currently takes up a massive proportion of the Government’s revenue; cutting it would allow us to invest in our own infrastructure.

So if we are at a strategic crossroads, I am disappointed that Blair has taken a sharp turn without taking time to consult a map. The nuclear debate is a thorny issue with no definitive answer - all the more reason to take time over it, allowing all the options to be assessed. Our foreign policy of recent years should really have taught as to be cautious when making decisions that will shape Britain’s future.

I fear Blair may be heading down another cul-de-sac.

The online blog for Cardiff students

http://freewords.gairrhydd.com

10 gairrhydd

LETTERS

DECEMBER.11.2006 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com It’s nearly Christmas... Are the joys of the holiday season upon us yet, or is the pressure of hitting those annoying last week deadlines making us all more irritable and cranky? If so, don’t just moan, write it down!

@ letter of the week Living with Dementia Dear gair rhydd,

Too many chips!

Dear gair rhydd, MY COOKING LEAVES a lot to be desired, as my flatmates will tell you, so naturally when choosing Halls of Residence I picked one that was part catered (yet still managed to blow up the microwave in my first week).

We're paying almost £1000 a term for the priviledge of a cooked meal every evening Every weekday without fail my flatmates and I walk down to the Trevithick Building canteen for a nutritious meal. All well and good, except the meals are not in any way nutritious. Since September I can count the days when chips or some other form of fried potato havn’t been served on one hand. Very often there isn’t a less fatty substitute, or the staff assume you want chips and pile them onto your plate regardless.

Now I’m not one of those types who survives on lettuce and a weekly treat of a cereal bar, I’m very partial to the odd chip now and again but surely since we're paying almost £1000 a term for the priviledge of a cooked meal every evening, there should be more healthy options.

It’s been proven that a little campaigning for better school meals has a massive impact on a primary and secondary education level, so why not tertiary?

Sarah, unhappy first year Sengennydd Hall resident

Umpires needed!

Dear gair rhydd, I WISH TO HIGHLIGHT the dire need for an umpiring course for the IMG netball league. I have repeatedly asked Alex Mcintosh to supply one but he feels that it is out of his hands.

Last week the league matches started and the games became more serious. I have my top players threatening not to play if the disgraceful levels of umpiring continue. Cardiff A played Economics A in a very closely

THANK YOU for publisihing the article 'Living With Dementia' in this week's gair rhydd.

matched game and the umpires were unable to control the players. My Goal Defence was punched (accidently) in the jaw, the Centre was repeatedly jabbed in the ribs and both teams blatantly flouted all of the contact rules because we were allowed to get away with it. This resulted in a very dangerous game and I am suprised that nobody was seriously injured.

Another member of my team played in a different match and received such a strong shove in the back that she urinated blood for a week! May I point out that netball is supposed to be a non-contact sport and all contact is supposed to be penalised during the game by the umpires.

We need an umpiring course. The course provided earlier in the year was aimed at BUSA level umpires so the majority of IMG captains did not send their team members on it. I am currently umpiring for 4 teams (Cardiff A, Cardiff B, IWC A and IWC B) because I do not feel any of the other girls are qualified to help me out, I am the only one that has taken a course out of 60+ people on my teams. Other smaller teams are having to supply sub-standard umpires which is not good enough.

Please take this matter seriously, I feel as though IMG netball is taking a complete back seat this year and my concerns are shared by other IMG captains. I have 6 girls who wish to attend an umpiring course and there are more than enough from other teams to fill numerous spaces. As this is the second time I have sent this email a reply would be nice to indicate that somebody has actually read it.

ting pissed and how they were generally too thick to be able to do some work they had been set. This wouldn’t bother me too much if it were a rare occurrence in the library.

Now it is possible that I just imagined this, but aren’t libraries supposed to be places where people are quiet?

There are many common rooms and university cafes that moronic groups of students can sit in and engage in their inane conversations about how many shots of vodka they did last night and boast about how they got so drunk they passed out.

Is it too much to ask that there be one place in every department where someone can sit in silence and concentrate on doing some work? It seems the problem isn’t confined to Trevithick either; my flatmates often come home complaining about other people in the Arts and Social studies library.

So, what to do? You could ask them to be quiet. You could tell them to shut the fuck up. I prefer a new ‘zero-tolerance’ approach however. So the next time anyone sits near me in the library and starts chatting away, I will wait until they are not looking and then throw a brick at their head.

Ordinary, average sized house brick.

Then, when they are unconscious, I might defecate upon them too… I haven’t decided yet.

not entitled to bring his own personal view on matters to a newspaper that is about representing the views of students from all walks of life at the University, when it seems clear that Mr. Biochemist is quite happy to ram his view down the throat of everyone else reading the letters section? I'm not quite sure how ‘raving Godsquadder’ and ‘the son of a fictional character’ quite promotes the tolerance and equality that Mr. Biochemist seems so keen to endorse.

A borderline-homicidal fourth year

James Burgess

Claire Moseley, Captain of Cardiff

I AM WRITING in reply to the letter written by the Anonymous third year Biochemist (27/10/06). I'm quite surprised that someone who obviously has such a great "conviction" fails to even identify himself.

IMG Netball.

Shhhhhh Dear gair rhydd, TODAY I HAD A gap of three hours in between lectures, so, what with living a long way away from my department, I decided to go and do some work in the library.

After bagging myself a table in the far corner, I settled down to a productive couple of hours of attempting to rescue my degree. Things then took a turn for the worse. A large group of 1st years sat themselves down on the table next to mine and proceeded to have a loud conversation about get-

Y A S R U O Y E V A H

Infuriated by any of these letters?

Do you want your opinion heard?

www.gairrhydd.com

Perhaps some readers will now know more about this horrible condition My Gran has suffered from dementia after a series of minor strokes which began when I was just starting my AS levels a few years ago. It's a disease that you don't tend to know much about until you're affected personally, which seems to spring from nowhere.

Over the course of a week, Gran went from being the lively, chatty person I'd grown up loving to spend time with, to a confused and scared lady who seemed hardly recognisable to us. We managed to care for her at home until it became too much to cope with, and for the last year she's been in a home for confused, elderly people, and hardly recognises us when we visit.

Since coming to uni, I often wonder whether she'll remember me at all when I go back at Christmas, and have tried not to think about it.

Reading the article has forced me to face the possibility that after three months away, its very likely that she won't, but perhaps some readers will now know more about this horrible condition. I think it's important just to be there for people who suffer from dementia - you can only do your best for them.

A sad first year student.

more “logical” just because one has different goalposts in life is illogical in itself.

In summary, why don't people just write interesting, thought-provoking articles in this wonderful free press?

Right, that’s what we were doing already...

Beth Ranjit

And on and on...

Dear gair rhydd,

The God debate rages on Dear gair rhydd,

I'm quite surprised that someone who obviously has such a great "conviction" fails to even identify himself To me, that just shows a complete lack of guts - at least Mr. Woodbridge isn't afraid to attach his name to articles/columns containing his personal opinions and beliefs. I thought everyone was allowed to voice their opinion but, alas, maybe I missed the ‘excludes those who believe a transcendental power’ clause.

I’m also quite disappointed at the statement ‘God doesn't actually exist.’

Last time I checked, Biochemsitry hadn't proven the existence (or, in this case, the lack of existence) of God but maybe I’m just unaware of such developments.

Equally, why is Mr. Woodbridge

And on...

Dear gair rhydd, I AM WRITING in response to a Letter written by 'Anonymous third year Biochemist' regarding Caleb Woodbridge's articles.

It always puzzles me why atheists care so much what’s written about a god they don’t believe in, but that is neither here nor there.

I would argue that a writer always brings their personal experiences and beliefs to any piece of work and when religion is a focal point of your existence, you are bound to write about it.

That’s what Caleb was doing. In the article referenced “Should Saddam Hang?”, Caleb does not refer to Jesus of Nazareth as the son of God, but as a “radical and revolutionary teacher”, which is how he is characterised by atheists, agnostics and people of other faiths aside from Christianity. Islam considers him a great prophet.

Making reference to a historical figure does not constitute :”ravings”.

Contrary to popular belief, Christianity is not a series of ‘thou shalt nots’ and many Christians would consider they have a personal moral code that may differ from other Christians. For them, accepting guidance from a “higher power” is like taking advice from an old and trusted friend, and of course, our legal system is in fact derived from the Ten Commandments amongst other things. All ethical considerations are beliefs, whether they are based on religion or not; describing a belief as

I would like to refer to “The God Delusion” article published in last weeks’ Quench. And Lucy Higgins argument “For God”.

I found it a bit patronising to say that one cannot appreciate life in all its colours without the image of God, as well as I think it is unfair to assume that atheists and agnostics such as I are nothing but bitter individuals, who have had enough bad experiences to back up the idea that there is no merciful father figure out there.

From our perspective it seems that believers are needlessly scared of confronting the true life, and we attribute it to fear of death or solitude.

Atheists and agnostics can be more satisfied with their lives than believers because they see the world beautiful in its randomness and they accept it for what it is.

In places where the divide between the poor and the rich is very wide, religion helps to keep the poor hopeful and therefore at ease.

It is no wonder then that religious institutions tend to have the most political power in the poorest countries. However, in a first world country such as this, where the divide is relatively small, religion does not really have a purpose in society.

Bad things or good things will happen whether god exists or not, and as God’s existence cannot be proven, the debate is not really: Is he there? But, do we really need him?

Patricia Pino, third year, Mechanical Engineering

gairrhydd 11

COMMENT

DECEMBER.11.2006 EDIFICATION@gairrhydd.COM

Edification Housemate Hustling

ILLUSTRATION: ANDREW STYLES

As Christmas approaches, the house and housemate seeking season begins.

Whose heart are you going to break?

Overcoming the Monster

I

am in the public house that is named The End and am playing Deal or No Deal on the It-box with some chums. All of a sudden, we are through the questions round, and onto the prizes – hitherto uncharted territory for me.

This is, quite possibly, the most exciting experience of my life so far.

The prize round on the It-box is just like Deal or No Deal on the telly, except that it’s in 2D, and the cash in the boxes is reduced by a factor of, like, a million, or something. In the first round I pick five boxes – mostly blues (which hold small prizes) – and the banker offers me £4.50.

“Gosh!” I think. “I only put in £1.

That’s” – I do a quick calculation using my amazing brain – “that’s a 350% profit.”

I am in the process of smugly pressing the ‘Deal’ button, when Chum Tom yelps at me. “Don’t deal that! You’ve still got the top five prizes. You can get more than that.”

“Goodness gracious,” I think, “Chum Tom speaks much verity. I was nearly fobbed off with a paltry £4.50 by the shrewd banker – what a fool I almost was!”

I press ‘No Deal’ and pick the next three boxes: the £25 and £10 prizes disappear, and the banker offers me £2.

“Damn you Chum Tom,” I think.

“You made me dream again.”

I stab at the ‘No Deal’ button. “This is why you should never, ever listen to anyone,” I think. “Talking to people is hard enough. Why pollute your incredible intellect by listening to what anyone else thinks?”

The game goes on, and every decent prize quickly disappears.

Except one. The £6 box remains, surrounded by blues. I reject the banker’s offer of £1.50 and pick three boxes three blues.

The 10p and £6 boxes remain; the banker offers me £2. Without even listening to the devil-may-care exhortations of Chum Tom and his ilk, I push the ‘No Deal’ button. The banker says I can switch boxes. I refuse, and press my own box with a trembling digit.

“If this is 10p,” I think, “I will never

D

o you know who you’re going to be living with in the next academic year? If not, I suggest you stop worrying about trivial things like exams and coursework, and start thinking about something that really matters: who is going to be sharing your sofa.

It might seem very early, especially if you’re a first year, to be considering where and with whom you’re going to be slinging down your traffic cone and guitar come next September, but the reality is that a large proportion of Cardiff’s student population sort out their accommodation in early January.

This means that, unless you are going to have some kind of internet-based housemate discussion group with all your university friends over the Christmas holidays, you have just a week or so to discuss housing plans, before everyone disappears to nuzzle in the festive comfort of family feuding.

It is not, of course, absolutely necessary to have a house all paid up and sitting pretty by the time that February swings around. Many of the best houses are not shown by letting agencies until summer, because they know they can get tenants for them easily due to their quality. Some friends of mine, for instance, live in a beautiful, if slightly expensive, gothic-style house right in the hub of Studentville. They didn’t start looking until late June.

The argument for waiting until the summer, and then decisively sweeping upon a really good property that has been tucked away from students’ eyes, is a strong one. If you do choose this course, however, there is always the risk that no property that matches the number of your group will be

KEV listen to anyone ever again”.

It is £6.

I let out a most unbecoming yell of pleasure and high five with my chums. “I love you Chum Tom,” I

Locating the pyjamas of truism in the filthy double bed of falsehood...

Ultimately, however, you have to think of yourself. If you can’t bear to live with a certain person for another year, or cannot stand that guy who all your other good friends seem really keen on, it is imperative that you grit your teeth and say something. There is nothing worse than being stuck in a house with people you dislike. Hell is not being trapped in a room with your friends, as Sartre claimed. Nor is it spending lots of time with people you secretly want to sleep with, as our own Barry Cadshaw recently postulated. Hell, I can assure you, is being stuck in a house for a year with a Jack Johnson fan who won’t wash up.

The hardest part of choosing housemates is that, for perhaps the first time in your life, you have to tell people to their face that, well, you

just don’t like them that much. For months you may have been attempting to impart this message through less brutal means – evasion, avoiding eye contact, mumbling during conversations – but, unsurprisingly, many people just aren’t receptive to signs that they are disliked. No matter how unequivocal you might be, they refuse to face the truth. I once coldly told a guy that I found him annoying and stupid. The next day he asked if I wanted to be his best friend. True, we were eight, but things haven’t changed so much since the halcyon days of primary school; every single one of my friends is still blind to the fact that I despise them.

So don’t feel too bad about being ruthlessly truthful. The reciever of your voiced disdain will probably filter it out in a day or two. However, if you do have a sensitive streak, like me, a good trick is to mask the cold facts with placatory lines such as “We just don’t seem to hang around that often”, or “I think it might damage our friendship if we live together”. Of course, you can’t use these now, because the person you wish to softly spurn might have read them here, and they will take them the wrong way even if you’re not using them as a substitute for “I cannot stand you”.

Sorry about that.

If all else fails, “I just think it’s better if you live with [insert name here], because he really likes you”, is always a good strategy (even better if you send the rejected person stumbling towards another member of your blacklist).

Apologies. I’ll stop before I leave you no options. Happy house and housemate hunting; remember, honesty is the best policy, even if it’s very, very cruel.

think. “I love you and your lovely, lovely face.” I try to give him a cuddle, but am rejected.

In a fit of excitement, I give £1 to each of my four chums, leaving me with £1 profit. As I sit down at our table this fact grates at me. For all my daring, all my god-like temerity, I have only £1 to show for it. “This wasn’t about the money,” I decide. I gaze smilingly around at my chums. “I am a winner,” I think.

Later, in Barfly, a fight breaks out near me. Still pumped, as I am, from my colossal victory, I wade in and try to break it up.

It is just as I impose myself between the two groups of fist-swinging man-people that I remember I am very small and have little tiny arms, like a lady. “Gosh darn it!” I think.

“My serendipitous fiscal accumulation has deluded me into believing I possess auspicious physical presence, when this is, in fact, not at all manifest.”

“Calm down,” I whimper to the two heavy-set fellers who I am attempting to prevent attacking a bleeding-nosed chap.

“Calm down?” one of them shrieks.

“He spat in my face!”

I try to come up with something conciliatory, but all I can think about is my £6 victory on Deal or No Deal.

The two man-people try to push past me. Seemingly independent of my exceptional mind, my ladylike arms poke out and stop them. They leer at me threateningly. “Blimey,” I think. “These two guys are so angry they might just hit me so they can get to bleedy-nose guy and hit him.”

I try to look imposing.

“The worst part is I can’t back out now, or I will look like a girlie-man,” I forlornly ponder.

Then, at my moment of greatest need, just as I am about to be literally killed and then probably eaten, I feel a hand on my shoulder, steering me away.

It is Chum Tom. “Bless you Chum Tom!” I think.

“You have saved my beautiful face from damage.”

“Easy there dude,” says Chum Tom. “It’s alright mate,” I say. “I was sorting it out. No worries.”

People who win £6 on Deal or No Deal do not show weakness.

available, and thus four of you will be forced to live in a glorified shed with a bronchial orang-utan as a landlord.

The crucial thing is that you get talking early, and you make every effort to ensure that everyone you care about is relatively happy with the arrangements. This really is a situation in which people can get badly hurt if real care and consideration is not paid. It might well be that you have to make sacrifices in order to avoid upsetting a good friend – it is very rare that any student gets the exact set of housemates they want.

Every single one of my friends is still blind to the fact that I despise them

12 gairrhydd

POLITICS

DECEMBER.11.2006 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

For the Glory of Rome As US figures openly dismiss Anglo-Yankee relations, Politics editor Andy Rennison looks at a crumbling ‘special relationship’

I

t wasn’t long ago that the British government flirted with the notion of being an Ancient Greece to Bush’s Rome. This classical reference summed up Tony Blair’s desire to be the worldly, respectable voice quietly guiding the ear of the mighty US. Such clawing at power led Britain into Iraq clinging onto the tail of America, desperate to remain the leash around Bush’s collar.

Traditionally, the UK has on occasion been able to tame her Yankee cousins. The Cold War put Britain in the middle of the scales; whilst not as trigger-happy as the cowboys across the Atlantic, Britain was equally resolved to keep Communism on the right side of Berlin. But the Cold War is over. Modern day threats are scattered, from Afghanistan to Indonesia, Darfur to Jerusalem. We as a country are no longer obvious mediators.

This is the problem Blair tried to overturn and mould into his own legacy, and failed. Britain’s failure to become the senior world partner with America following Iraq was underlined last week by Mr Kendall Myers of the US State Department.

In an academic speech in Washington, Mr Myers dismissed the

‘special relationship’ between Britain and the US as “a myth.”

He pointed out that UK “poodling” to America started with Churchill, not Blair. It was Winston that first uttered the phrase ‘special relationship’ in reference to Anglo-American ties, in the same 1946 speech that introduced the ‘iron curtain’ of Communism in Eastern Europe.

There is no doubt that since Churchill’s failure to exert the same World War influence as President Roosevelt or Comrade Stalin, Britain’s power in the world has suffered.

Background factors still bind us to the Yanks, such as our reliance on their nuclear technology, Britain’s access to top-end US intelligence, and our unique privilege to hide behind the American ambassador at the UN in times of need.

Blair took it one step further however, when, in 2003, he addressed Congress and effectively dedicated himself to transatlantic slavery. He told Washington: “You are not going to be alone. We will be with you in this fight for liberty.”

In the same speech, he said: “Thank you, Mr. President, for your leadership.” In one script, Blair managed to align himself tightly to America while

PLEASE: Blair asks Sir for more

Blair, Brown, Reid and for that matter maybe the whole Labour Party are at least partly Scottish. Should this be a problem for the United Kingdom, or is that title a name only?

Conservatives have usually been staunch Unionists; they stood by Northern Ireland in times of crisis and condemned the present Republic of Ireland for her push for independence.

It is Labour who is often the one trying to break up nations.

Now it seems that England takes orders from other states PARLIAMENT: should only England be governed from these buildings?

An uncivil Union Tim Hewish Political Correspondent

W

hat does it mean to be British in today’s world?

Last week this was the question that Scotland asked itself yet again and it has vast ramifications.

A recent poll showed that 52% of

Scots desire independence while 59% of Englanders want the northern clan to go it alone.

Does this have any significance?

We live in a Britain that is being carved up; Wales is home to examples of political differences such as free prescriptions and a breather in the topup fees scandal, while Scotland gets its own health care and educational pow-

ers through its parliament.

What then of England? They have no assembly or parliament of their own and for their troubles they get Scotland voting on all decisions affecting England. In imperial times England used her neighbours as test dummies for political policies; now it seems England takes orders from other states.

Cameron has just come out with his stance on Unionism – his only Tory bone in his body has told him it is a good idea, yet others in his party have distanced themselves from it.

Ironically, Labour is ditching viewpoints of old and wishes to see the Union presevered. The answers come from the fact that in the past two elections Labour would have lost if England had its own parliament.

Labour has continuously relied on Scotland and Wales to keep it in power, and this is reflected in the famed education bill that was passed in parliament last year by just five Scottish votes.

In the liberal age of multiculturalism surely Britons could all get along?

It is hard enough with immigration and people’s fears about Britain not being

also conceding leadership of this ‘coalition’ to Bush.

Mr Myers also admitted his personal regret that after Blair strove so hard to win his party’s support for the war, he received nothing in return.

“I feel a little ashamed...that we treated him [Blair] like that,” said Myers. “And yet there it was - there was no payback, no sense of reciprocity in the relationship.”

It certainly is hard to find net gains from British involvement in Iraq. The war has cost us billions of taxpayers’ pounds, and any respect we had around the world has been overshadowed by the image of obedient White House lapdog.

Mr Myers has since been reprimanded by his superiors for his loose tongue. Indeed, a State Department spokesman said: “We repudiate and disassociate ourselves from these comments.” These words sound fearful.

Any suggestion of a spanner in the special relationship is greeted with sharp refutals and angry faces in the US, where Britain is looked to like a vaguely senile grandparent: necessary to be talked but not listened to.

The alliance to the UK is Washington’s last grip on a moral vindication for its world agenda. Without its closest ally, however irrelevant that ally may be, America would appear entirely alone in its actions, and risk dangerous international isolation.

There is a glimmer of light as to whether Britain can rebuild her position of equality she once held with the Americans. It needs a firm stand from our leaders, through a reminder to our Yankee counterparts that though we may be held up on America’s lofty shoulders, the loss of British friendship would be simply too big a PR disaster for Bush to afford.

British, but when Britain itself doesn’t want to be British anymore it puts the whole issue in a quandary.

Where does this leave the glorious nation of Wales that has become my second home?

I have noticed various flyers calling for an independent Wales, as well as a cultural distance from England. It’s a shame that the Anglo world dislikes one another.

What happens to the fate of the Union Jack, the centrepiece for a nation that forged much of the modern world? Do we just give up and adopt the Euro Flag?

It is ironic to see countries clamour for independence while the European Union seeks to tighten control over Continental affairs. If the British can’t agree then how is the rest of Europe going to decide how to run itself?

I was brought up to view Britain as a whole and that being Scottish, Welsh, English and Irish was not that different, the friendly banter over sport was the only antagonism.

Sadly, this rose-tinted view is not the reality for some people.

Nationalism can be a force for good but when it is at the detriment of a United Kingdom only political turmoil will ensue.

Maybe a Federalism of sorts could be devised for the sake of Union. In the US, different states have different laws and policies but are all united under national issues such as defence and economics. This system may belong to the most powerful nation on Earth, but a United Federal Kingdom is unlikely to catch on.

gairrhydd 13

FEATURES

DECEMBER.11.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

1996 - 2006

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

December 1996 - Two girls die in University Hall from meningitis. gair rhydd publishes news stories that criticise the way in which the outbreak was handled December 2006 - Features looks at what has changed in ten years and what is being done by Cardiff University to increase awareness about meningitis

Former gair rhydd journalist James McLaren gives a first-hand account of the events that took place during the meningitis outbreak of 1996

I

n autumn 1996, I was 18, enjoying my first term at university, making new friends and living a hitherto unknown life of freedom.

But in late November my friends and I at University Hall began to hear of cases of meningitis occurring in some of the blocks scattered around the halls.

Quite what this illness was, I wasn’t too sure; I was vaguely aware that there were different forms and my half-remembered and ill-revised Biology A-level from earlier that year reminded me that it affected the meninges in the brain.

Looking back to 10 years ago, it’s difficult to remember the actual passage of events, but a meeting at University Hall about the illness cases came and went; the vast majority of students either didn’t find out about it or simply wrote it off as an irrelevance.

Suddenly Ann-Marie O’Connor died, quickly followed by Samantha Milroy.

Suddenly this was something horribly real. These were two girls who lived about 50 metres away from me, had mutual friends and who I’d talked to. Another meeting was called, and this time the hall was full.

Local GPs had dismissed at least one case of meningitis as flu, and no chances could now be taken Dot Hodge, President of the Students’ Union, was joined by representatives from the hall, Residences and Catering, the University and the medical establishment.

Accusations, criticisms and recriminations flew. Tears flowed, sometimes of sorrow, some of pure, impotent, frightened rage. It became clear that in

the block in which both girls lived, a catalogue of events had occurred which were confused and deeply frustrating.

There was the realisation that the university could – and possibly should – have done more to inform students at University Hall of the outbreak that had been building for a few weeks.

Perhaps, we thought, if the University had made more of an effort to make sure people went to the initial meeting, these girls would still be here.

By this time, the meningitis outbreak was a media event. Outside the main entrance of University Hall, television station satellite trucks sat.

Newspaper reporters walked around the site; I heard of one girl who’d been offered £20 to be photographed crying.

Meanwhile, any flu-like symptoms were being treated very seriously. Two of my friends and I watched out of a bedroom window as someone from the floor below was brought out on a stretcher.

At the height of the outbreak, there were 30 or so cases or possible cases of meningitis in hospital. Thankfully, many of these were not actually instances of the illness, but they are indicative of the heightened awareness the authorities and students now had for symptoms.

It had become clear that local GPs had dismissed at least one case of meningitis as flu, and no chances could now be taken.

The vast majority of students either didn’t find out about it or simply wrote it off as an irrelevance Everyone at University Hall was inoculated and gradually – very gradually – the outbreak and the media frenzy calmed down. Ann-Marie and Samantha were buried and a very moving memorial was held for them.

A tree commemorating them was planted in the gardens at University Hall. Their families were left with a

loss no parent sending their child to university ever expects to experience.

Meanwhile, agencies and organisations pieced together what happened, ensuring lessons were learned. Over the course of several months, investigations were undertaken to determine what happened from a medical point of view.

The most visible effect was that the amount of information available to students dramatically increased. By the intake of 1997, students arriving at Cardiff University could not fail to be aware of the symptoms of meningitis.

Now, a decade later, it’s no longer fresh in the memory of students or the University. The literature is still produced in significant volume, but how many people read it? And how many students could reel off the symptoms?

It’s time to take another look at those leaflets, look out for yourself and look out for your friends.

If there’s anything to be gained from the outbreak of 1996, it’s that Cardiff University will always have a reminder of when information was a lot less readily available. Take advantage of it.

Meningitis feature continues

>>>

14 gairrhydd

FEATURES

DECEMBER.11.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

A shambles of ‘serious inadequacies in University management’ and ‘shortcomings in communication to students’

Ten years ago, Cardiff University was lambasted for its flippant treatment of a meningitis outbreak that led to the deaths of two girls. Helen Thompson provides a step-by-step account...

T

he tragic deaths of two firstyear Cardiff students from meningococcal meningitis sparked a media debate over the authorities’ handling of the crisis.

For months, articles examined whether the deaths could have been prevented had the University communicated information more effectively to its students.

Friday November 29 1996 Students using teletext might have noticed a small item reporting a Cardiff student’s death from meningitis. Ann-Marie O’Connor, a law student, had noticed unexplained bruises on her legs on Monday. The next day she developed flu-like symptoms, but was not admitted to hospital until Thursday - the day she died.

Monday December 2 - Major newspapers lead with the story of a double tragedy at Cardiff University, following the death on Sunday of Samantha Milroy, a pharmacy student who lived in University Hall with Ann-Marie.

This confirms that there is an outbreak of the disease at the University.

The Daily Mail is first to ask: ‘Why Weren’t We Warned?’ It commented that there had been other recent incidents of meningitis within the student population, including one in midOctober when a 20-year-old man caught the disease.

Further cases occurred on November 16, 26, 27 and 28, but many students only heard of the outbreak from the media, not through the University, and only after someone had died.

remain under observation in the University Hospital, while The South Wales Echo claims that the ‘deaths were preventable’. The Western Mail asks whether the University was negligent by failing to inform students of the first case in October.

Monday December 9 - A petition slip appears on the front page of gair rhydd, encouraging students to ask for an independent inquiry into the failure in communication between University and students. Residents of Univeristy Hall are reported to be angry, feeling that Ann-Marie may still be alive had she been given more information on the symptoms of the disease, and made aware that she could be at risk.

The situation in Cardiff is contrasted to that at Sheffield University a month before. When a student was confirmed to have meningitis, Sheffield immediately informed all students sharing his halls of residence, whereas Cardiff waited to announce the risk of meningitis until there were ‘a number of related cases in the same household’.

Vice-Chancellor Professor Brian Smith says that the situation ‘could not have been handled better’, but Cardiff MP John Owen Jones requests a full inquiry into the October case, and a revision of the guidelines for dealing with an outbreak in halls of residence.

Monday January 13 - gair rhydd announces a new meningitis awareness campaign to be run from Cardiff Students’ Union, and the launch of an independent inquiry to ask why University Hall residents were not

Tuesday December 3 - 24 students

Lee Macaulay asks first year students in halls what they know about meningitis

Camilla Politic Talybo s & Economic nt Nor s th

aware of any risk from meningitis until after the death of Ann-Marie.

Monday January 27 - The University is forced to abandon its official line that there was no link between the October and November cases. gair rhydd reports that evidence cited by the Welsh Health Minister suggests the cases were ‘not unrelated’. This is said to have ‘angered many students, as they believe the authorities should have made information available on the occasion of the first case’.

Monday February 10 - In a retrospective, gair rhydd says that students are angry that the first case was treated as an isolated incident by the University, because it occurred four weeks and one day before the others. It therefore fell outside the four-week time-frame that health authorities say related cases will occur within.

Students’ Union President Dot Hodge says it is necessary to “create procedures which are peer-led and targeted to students as a group”. A report by the Health Authority is said to reveal “serious inadequacies in University management”, identifying “shortcomings in communication to students”. Cardiff University admits problems in supplying information, but does not accept responsibility.

The media played a key role in criticising the poor communication between the University and students, and in calling for changes in the way outbreaks are handled.

This brought the University to account for the inadequacy of its actions.

“I don't know anything really, I know you can get spots on your arm and you test for it by putting a glass tumbler on them. I know the University try to tell us about it but there's too much information about other things in the first few weeks that blocks it out.”

The Meningitis Trust is dedicated to fighting meningitis through the provision of support, education and awareness and research. Laura Foster spoke to them to find out more

M

eningitis still costs many lives every year and students are the second greatest group at risk. There is an increased risk of developing the disease in new students as the carriage of the disease increases 25% due to increased social interaction.

Charlotte Smitherman, Communications Manger of The Meningitis Trust, urges the importance of being aware of signs and symptoms and getting vaccination: “The Meningitis Trust uses the media to raise awareness of the signs and symptoms of the disease, which specifically advises students to ensure that they’ve had all the relevant vaccines before they start university.”

The introduction of a vaccine in 1999 which protects against Group C meningitis has reduced cases of Group C disease by over 90%. This vaccine is recommended in the UK for all under 25s and first year university students irrespective of age.

stems Adammation Sy Infor ont South Talyb

Guidelines drawn up following outbreaks in 1996 and 1997 in universities around the UK advocate that, following an outbreak, antibiotics via injection are an essential and effective part of treatment. In 1996 antibiotics in tablet form were given to students.

These guidelines also advocate the urgency of informing students in the same hall of residence and students on the same course as confirmed cases.

Informing students of the symptoms of the disease is also a high priority for authorities. The communication between the University and students ten years ago did not reassure or inform. This would certainly be an area which is of the uppermost importance if an outbreak or similar situation occurred again.

Informing students remains a high priority for The Meningitis Trust, which is the authoritative voice on all aspects of the disease, and provides information to over 22,000 people across the world. The Trust runs a campaign targeting students every year which coincides with Freshers’ Week.

Communications Manager Charlotte Smitherman said that this year the campaign had been stepped up: “In September 2006 The Meningitis Trust embarked on a student awareness campaign that was coordinated by the Department of Health. The campaign involved awareness materials being sent to every University and higher education college.”

It is recommended that all students get vaccinated and are aware of signs and symptoms.

“I know it can be potentially very dangerous and that you can get a rash that doesn’t disappear under the pressure of a glass. I found out about it from the posters around my halls of residence.”

Imogen Histor Senghey n

WORD ON THE STREET - WORD ON THE STREET - WORD ON THE STREE ydd Co

urt

gairrhydd

FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

After the deaths of Samantha Milroy and Ann-Marie O’Connor, the University has overhauled its policy regarding outbreaks of contagious diseases. Kate Monaghan explains to Ben Bryant how the Union and the University work together to contain an outbreak What is being done by the Students’ Union to help promote awareness of meningitis?

Throughout the year, the Union encourages and promotes the awareness of vaccination against meningitis with a large amount of publicity displayed all over the Union building.

This encourages students to ensure that they are vaccinated. We also ensure that our website links directly with the University Health Centre, which has a large amount of content and information on meningitis and vaccination.

We also contribute to the freshers’ edition of gair rhydd, this year featuring a ‘Top Ten Tips’, written by myself, to ask that students look out for their friends, with particular reference to meningitis awareness.

In the event of a meningitis out-

break, what is the University’s standard procedure?

The University has a well-developed contingency plan should an outbreak of meningitis occur – although, of course, their aim is to prevent any outbreak from occurring in the first place.

Prevention involves sending a letter to every student asking them to ensure that they have been vaccinated, posters and information in all halls of residence, and the information provided in the Student Handbook, which was inserted as a result of an incident involving meningitis ten years ago.

What part, if any, does the Union play? And what would be your particular responsibilities as Welfare officer?

If an incident involving meningitis

did occur, as happened a few years ago, the Students’ Union is informed immediately and measures are taken to increase the amount of information we provide. This is done in two main ways: firstly, posters and leaflets are distributed. Secondly, professional advisers are made available in case any student has questions or concerns over the issue of meningitis.

As Welfare Officer, it would be my responsibility to ensure that the Union and the University liaise with each other, and share any relevant information, as well as ensuring that students are informed about how they can access advice if they are concerned.

have a link with the local surgeries and health authorities that informs them of any diagnoses of students with highly contagious diseases like meningitis, or is it down to the student to inform the University?

The University has a direct link with all local GPs and Health authorities, so that if any incident did occur, the University could take a lead role in distributing the necessary information.

Of course, confidentiality would remain a high priority.

Have relations between the Students’ Union and the University improved since the meningitis outbreak ten years ago? For example, as Welfare Officer are y o u informed immediate-

Kate Monaghan

Does the University

Cardiff University faced a lot of criticism in1996. In an interview with Amy Harrison, a spokesperson from the University clarifies the events from the University’s perspective, and explains what has changed in ten years Ten years ago Awareness At the time of the outbreak the University claims to have already had a large awareness campaign for students.

Around the campus there were “prominent displays of information, leaflets and posters as well as a Meningitis Awareness Week at the start of the academic year. This included a visit from the National Meningitis Trust’s mobile awareness vehicle and a separate meningitis lecture in the Students’ Union.”

The outbreak When the outbreak occurred the University followed the protocol set out by the Public Health Authority.

Despite following the action plan advised by the Public Health Authority the University faced numerous criticisms. These accusations came from both the student and national press.

They claimed that the University failed to inform students effectively. These claims are still rejected by the University: “The University’s response to the outbreak was supported, not criticised, by those with knowledge and expertise in this area.”

The Chief Executive of the National Meningitis Trust at the time commended Cardiff University’s response: “I would like to register the Trust’s praise

15

FEATURES

DECEMBER.11.2006

for the prompt and appropriate action taken at every single stage of the outbreak.”

Further praise was received from the Director of the Public Health Authority: “The speed and efficiency with which the University, the Health Authority, the Students’ Union and Primary Care reacted to the rapidly evolving circumstances indicates that the broad policies which each has to deal with such events is right.”

Perhaps most significant is the statement from the mother of one of the students who died: “From day one the students were kept very well informed with meetings and talks. They were given total support both day and night by both University and medical factions.”

Awareness and information was spread extensively among students by way of meetings, briefings, help lines, leaflets, posters and media liaison.

Information withheld?

Further accusations came from the press stating that information was withheld from public knowledge.

These accusations are denied by the University who claim: “no information was withheld by the University. The University operated within the constraints of information available to it and the patient confidentiality and other medical and public health protocols which prevailed at that time.”

“You start off with flu like symptoms, get a stiff neck and you don’t like bright lights.

I know about it because my sister is a doctor.”

Today Awareness To ensure that first year students arriving at Cardiff are alerted to the signs and symptoms of meningitis, the University promotes awareness of the disease in full force during Freshers’ Week. “The Health Centre is represented at the undergraduate, postgraduate and international Freshers’ fayres, where representatives put across the message about meningitis.”

After Freshers’ Week information continues to be spread among students.

The Health Centre is a crucial source from which health information is distributed throughout the year.

“There is information about the disease and its warning signs on the Health Centre website. It also provides advice on immunisation and looking out for friends. The Health Centre itself can provide advice and information from two meningitis charities and the NHS about the disease. A multimedia disk plays at the Health Centre reception which includes information about the disease.”

Residences and Catering also place posters in every kitchen in university halls of residences. These posters contain information and reinforce the ‘look out for a friend message’.

Individual instance of meningitis Because meningitis is a “notifiable

disease” in the event of an outbreak the National Public Health Service alerts the University.

The University is clear to state that students are informed about all diagnoses of meningitis. This information is distributed by way of electronic media and with details put on notice boards around campus, the Students’ Union are also crucial to providing information to the student body.

As a precautionary measure, flatmates and other close contacts are given antibiotics and provided with advice.

Local GPs are also alerted, as are people in the same hall and departments. In certain cases a meeting will be held to students living in the same hall or teaching group.

Outbreak If there was an outbreak of meningitis, the University claims to have sufficient provision.

“The Joint Outbreak Control Plan would be activated and the Outbreak Control Team convened. Its duties include identifying the groups at risk, checking for potential cases, issuing antibiotics, provided vaccine to students who have not been immunised, alerting local hospitals to establish emergency ward arrangements, setting up a helpline and alerting GPs serving students by phone.”

The University and its partners developed the Meningitis Protocol

“It kills people and my friend had it briefly. I found out about it when I got immunised against it.” m and Simon alism, Fil Journont South Talyb

Media

Peter Englis Commuh Language & Talybo nications nt Nor th

ly of any incidences of contagious diseases?

Relations between the University and the Union in the event of such an incident are very close. If there is any suggestion of the presence of a contagious disease, the Union - and especially the advice centre - is informed immediately. Information is provided to all staff concerned. As mentioned previously, the Student Handbook (and, previously, the student diary) was written jointly by the University and the Union as a result of the outbreak ten years ago.

If you were informed of an outbreak of a contagious disease, at what point would students be informed?

Students would be informed of an outbreak as soon as necessary. Clearly there would not be a wish to alarm students, but they would be informed that if they had any questions or concerns, there were places available to them should they need support – such as the advice centre and the health centre.

Actions employed by the University in the event of an outbreak: trol Outbreak Conne Team conve Identify stude nts at high risk tential Check for po cases Issue antibio tics e to Provide vaccinot students n immunised Alert hospita establish em ls and ergency wards ne Set up help li Inform local G Ps referred to above, which encapsulates improvements based on the experience of the outbreak ten years ago.

“Not a lot really! If you get purple spots on you, you can press a glass on you and if it disappears you haven’t got meningitis.”

ET - WORD ON THE STREET - WORD ON THE STREET - WORD ON THE ST

16 gairrhydd

FEATURES

DECEMBER.11.2006 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

“You could actually see the veins in my head pulsating”

Becky Johnson asks second year Business Management and Marketing students “Did you know that someone on your course was diagnosed In April this year a Cardiff University student was with meningitis earlier this year?”

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about “I heardne in first someo rough year th s, but the rumour ity never Univers y said anyofficiall bout it.” thing a

Chris

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“No I d at all.” idn’t know “There posters were Talybon around people t advising out for to watch in case their friends see or they didn’t them fohear from of days r a couple .”

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“We re in gair ad about it think thrhydd... I might h e University out an ave sent it, but email about rememI don’t really ber.”

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any’t hear “I didn bout it at all” thing a Mike Y eoman

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tis Viral Meningi The least serious form of meningitis, but also the most common. Most people make a full recovery within one or two weeks.

It has been known on rare occasions to result in fevers and comas, but normally it only causes the sufferer muscle weakness, paralysis, speech disturbances, double vision and epileptic fits.

Although most patients make a full recovery headaches, tiredness or depression can persist. Treatment for this form consists of bed rest and fluid and pain killers can be taken for the pain. Viral meningitis is most common among young people and is known to appear in small outbreaks such as in colleges or universities.

diagnosed with Meningoccoal Septicaemia. In an interview with Amy Harrison he revealed all about the pain of the disease and how the University responded to his diagnosis...

T

he Business Management and Marketing student arrives at the interview apologising for being late: “Sorry I’m late, I’m supposed to be on Xpress Radio now, but my producer is covering for me.”

He then explains how straight after this interview he is DJing at a bar in town, “I had an essay due in today, so I’ve not slept, and I’ve got a manic weekend ahead of me.”

It’s hard to believe that nine months ago he was completely drained by Meningococcal Septicaemia.

He explains that he has only been back on his feet for the last three months: “I only had meningitis for a week, but the after effects went on for about six months. I was lucky; some people have it for a month, and consequently the after-effects last much longer.”

He is clearly making up for the months he lost to meningitis.

As he gives a step-by-step account of what happened to him in April, the sheer speed with which he deteriorated was shocking.

“I woke up on a Monday morning with a headache, so decided to skip that morning’s lectures and sleep it off.

When I woke up at 4 o’ clock, my head was still pounding.

“Throughout that day I got worse; I couldn’t speak coherently and my temperature was 38 degrees.

“It was quite lucky because I live at home and commute to uni. My mum insisted on taking me to a 24-hour surgery. The Doctor told me: “Go home and feel sorry for yourself.” I spent that night vomiting repeatedly.

“The next morning, I couldn’t physically get out of my bed. I was taken to my GPs surgery and my mother insisted I see a doctor.

“By now a rash had started to appear on my body. Two doctors then saw me and I was told to go straight to

ingitis Bacterial Men Less common than the viral form, but is more serious; it can be fatal. In less severe cases it can lead to hearing or memory loss.

Bacterial meningitis needs to be treated immediately with antibiotics. The sooner the diagnosis is made the better chance the patient has of recovery.

Anyone who has been in close contact with the patient may also need to be treated with antibiotics as a protective measure.

hospital.

“At the hospital tests were taken immediately and I was hooked up to machines and monitored.

“A CAT scan was performed and it showed that my brain was inflamed.

Throughout all of this I was vomiting and was completely out of it.

In less than 48 hours a headache had snowballed into a near fatal disease “The doctors then performed a lumber puncture - a needle was inserted in my spine to remove the fluid to test for meningitis.

“By this time I was in isolation in Intensive Care. Everyone who visited had to wear protective masks and goggles. My temperature had risen to 39.9 degrees .

“The lights in the room had to be switched off. I was in total agony and was falling in and out of consciousness.

“Two hours after the lumber puncture, the results confirmed I had meningitis.

“By this point, I was in a critical condition. The doctors told my family that the chances of me pulling through were slim. My parents arranged for someone from church to come and perform a blessing.

“An hour after the blessing I regained consciousness and almost a week later to the very hour of the blessing I was released from hospital.

“I realise now that that could have been it. I believe it was a miracle that I pulled through. It was an awful thing to go through but it certainly reinforced my faith in God.” In less than 48 hours a headache had snowballed into a near fatal disease.

The recovery was, painful and stressful: “I’ve heard it’s worse than child-birth. At one point you could actually see the veins in my head pul-

Septicaemia Septicaemia appears in much literature about meningitis. It can exist as an individual disease, but often occurs at the same time as meningitis. Septicaemia occurs when bacteria enter the blood stream and multiply.

sating. I would sleep solidly for 15 hours, then wake up and feel like I’d not slept for a week.”

When I ask about the response of the University to his diagnosis he was full of praise for the way they reacted: “After my mum informed the University with my diagnosis the message was quickly spread among the people in my lectures.

“Posters were put up around the Business School, and announcements were made in lectures, to ensure that everyone who may have come into contact with me knew about it.

“The Union spread the message to all students on cardiffstudents.com, in gair rhydd and on Xpress Radio.

“The Business School was incredibly supportive. I had to take two months off from university to recover.

I was offered the chance to sit my exams in August but managed to sit them in June, and I passed them all.”

“My parents arranged for someone from church to perform a blessing” Before being diagnosed with meningitis he says he didn’t actually know much about the disease. “I read a bit in the Student Diary I was given at enrolment, which listed the symptoms. It’s a shame the University doesn’t give those diaries out anymore, because everyone carries them and they contain a lot of important information.”

After everything he has gone through in the last nine months he is now keen to ensure that people are aware about the disease. He appreciates that had he deliberated over going to the doctors by just an hour or two, the story could have been very different.

n

Contaminatio

One in ten of us are carrying the mening tis bacteria at any time. It only leads to a fu form of the disease if the bacteria gets into the blood stream. The disease is not highly contagious becasue the bacteria cannot su vive for very long in the air.

The disease does spread through the air by coughing and sneezing, or can spread vi direct contact such as kissing. Outbreaks a most likely to occur in places where people are in close contact such as in halls, lectur and other work places.

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS - SIGNS & SYMPTOMS - SIGNS & SYMPTOMS - SI

iull o y r-

r a are e res

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“The consequences could well have been a lot more serious” Just seven months ago, a Cardiff student was alone in her room, criticaly ill with meningitis. She almost died. Ben Bryant reports on the importance of looking out for your friends...

I

t’s the kind of advice that the University seems to regurgitate without impact year upon year.

In this case, however, the ‘look out for your friend’ initiative almost certainly saved a student’s life.

In May of this year, two students had arranged to meet their friend, a first year Dentistry student. She was late, and there was no reply from her phone. Getting no response from her flat in Talybont North, the students became increasingly concerned.

Finally, not knowing where she was, they called the University’s Security team.

This might sound like a dramatic step to take – after all, couldn’t it have been plausible that the student had simply forgotten, and gone somewhere else? Perhaps she had lost her phone, or was taking a shower.

Nonetheless, this was exactly the kind of response that was required.

When security officers Alan Jenkins and Ian Powell opened the student’s room, they found her critically ill. She was immediately rushed to hospital, where she was diagnosed with meningococcal septicemia.

Without such a rapid response, the student’s condition might have quickly deteriorated. The National Public Health Service gave antibiotics to the student’s flat mates and other contacts, and the entire student body was put on alert. Ten days later, a first year Ancient History student living in Talybont South was taken to hospital in Birmingham with the same condition, having returned home after falling ill.

Both students, who were linked through their network of friends, were

eventually discharged from hospital and made a full recovery.

Cardiff University head of security Tony Lewis said it was pleasing to see the University’s notifiable disease procedures working so well, and praised the first year student’s two friends.

“Had it not been for the actions of her friends in alerting us, the consequences could well have been a lot more serious,” he said.

Dr Sara Hayes, consultant in communicable disease health control for the National Public Health Service in Wales, who provided antibiotics and advice for students in the wake of the incident, said: “We do prepare plans for managing the disease and hope every student gets the message at the start of the year. Students can be very isolated so they need to keep an eye out for each other – and it certainly worked in this case.”

“There can be little doubt that these two students saved the life of their friend”

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comment 1996: Did the University act to the best of their ability?

T

he outbreak of meningitis ten years ago was devastating for the student community. Although we have reported what happened, words can not convey the utter confusion and fear that the students in University Hall must have endured in those weeks surrounding the deaths of Ann-Marie O’ Connor and Samantha Milroy.

Although the media reported that students knew nothing about the diagnoses of meningitis prior to the two deaths, it has become clear from James McLaren’s retrospective that a talk was held in University Hall to increase the awareness of students.

However, the posters on notice boards were an ineffective way of advertising the talk to students.

Perhaps asserting the old addage, the best way to keep a secret is to put it on a notice board.

The best way to keep a secret is to put it on a notice board The University can play the line that students were informed about the earlier diagnoses, but if the students don’t actually turn out to such talks because they are not publicised in a way that is appealing to students, then the University is clearly not succeding in its attempts to spread the message.

But still the University is keen to drive home the message that they acted the best that they could. It is all very well to quote the praise of “those with knowledge and expertise in the area”, but the Chief Executive of the National Meningitis Trust and the Director of the Public Health authority were not at any risk from meningitis.

The reality is that if the people who are at risk, the students, felt let

down by the University’s response, then this is surely the ultimate indicator of how effective the University was in ensuring the right information reached those concerned.

Amy Harrison - Features Editor

2006: Getting the message across to students

T

he knowledge of the students that we interviewed leaves much to be desired.

Most of them seem to know about ‘the glass test’ and immunisation, but this knowledge is, at best, limited. At worst, it could actually be a liability.

Immunisation does not protect against all variants of meningitis, and not all meningitis sufferers get a rash as one of their symptoms. The danger is that students may be lulled into a false sense of security, believing themselves to be safe in the knowledge that they have been immunised.

Similarly, not all of the students studying Business Management and Marketing who were interviewed seemed to know about the individual on their course who had contracted meningitis earlier in the year. These were students operating in an environment with a higher than usual risk of contracting meningitis. Clearly, either the University failed to notify them, or the students were simply not paying enough attention.

It’s possible that actually both of these factors apply. The University does embark on a big campaign to raise meningitis awareness at the start of every academic year. They distribute flyers and posters around halls of residences. They run a stall at the Freshers’ Fayre. And they send out letters asking students to ensure that they have been vaccinated.

Yet the problems with these methods are clear: meningitis awareness campaigns are competing with flyers, posters and stalls that are much more interesting and attractive to stu-

Jim Cole, head of Cardiff University’s Health Centre said: “This is exactly what we prepare for in the advice we give to undergraduates and shows the value of the ‘look out for your friend’ message. There can be little doubt that these two students saved the life of their Symptoms friend.”

The early symptoms to look out for: -Headache and confusion -Fever but with cold hands and feet Vaccine -Vomiting -Nausea There is no way to prevent the viral form of -Tiredness meningitis, but you can be immunised against -Stiff neck the bacterial form with the Meningitis C vac-Pain in the back or joints cine. This vaccine only immunises against the C strain. There is still no strain to prevent the If the following symptoms then arise it is important to most dangerous B strain, as it can be trigseek immediate medical attention: gered by so many different bacteria.

-Sensitivity to bright lights, daylight or even the television A lot of the symptoms for meningitis are -Disorientation similar to those of the flu (or a hangover).

-Bruise like rash that doesn’t fade under pressure Therefore it is necessary to consult a doctor -Coma as soon as they start to appear. It is particu-Fitting larly worth noting that symptoms can also be like the effects of a hangover or comedown Remember, these symptoms can develop in a matter of from drugs. hours. Every case is different and not all of the symptoms will occur at once.

dents.

Very few students are likely to pay a visit to the Health stall at the Freshers’ Fayre to do much more than pick up a handful of free condoms, especially when faced with the exciting prospect of free bread a few stalls down.

Likewise, the NHS leaflets discussing the symptoms of variant forms of meningitis seem strangely at odds with Jumpin’ Jaks flyers. And not nearly as intriguing.

It is perhaps fairly easy to scrutinise the University’s methods, but it is more difficult to provide solutions.

Their attempts at raising awareness are admirable, but it seems that the message simply isn’t getting through.

Nonetheless, the case of the Dentistry student who almost died has been regarded by a University spokesperson as a model of the effectiveness of the ‘look out for your friend’ campaign. Given the circumstances, we might assume that looking out for your friend is just common sense, but they may have a point.

So what can be done to improve the paltry meningitis knowledge exhibited by the average Cardiff student? Well, acquainting yourself with the symptoms, variants and contamination causes of meningitis is a good start. Ultimately, with a range of means provided by the University, responsibility must fall on the individual to be able to spot the signs.

As for the University, it is also their responsibility to ensure that all students - especially those at higher risk - are notified promptly in the event of an outbreak. In light of the recent case of the Business Management and Marketing student, it appears that more needs to be done in this area.

Nevertheless, the response of the University to outbreaks of meningitis has come a long way in the last ten years. By working together, hopefully the University, the Union and the students can maintain a prompt response to meningitis outbreaks, and prevent any further tragedies.

Ben Bryant - Features Editor

st The Glass Te This simple test can be used to identify a normal rash from a septicaemia rash. The septicaemia rash can start out as tiny red or purple pin pricks. These pinpricks can quickly develop into bruise-like marks or blood blisters, which do not fade.

To identify a septicaemia rash, press the side of a clear glass onto the rash. If the rash does not fade under the pressure, it could be a symptom of septicaemia. If this is the case medical attention should be sought immediately. Not all sufferers of meningitis will get a rash.

Liz Stauber - Health Editor

IGNS & SYMPTOMS - SIGNS & SYMPTOMS - SIGNS & SYMPTOMS - SIG

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SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

DECEMBER.11.2006 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

Who deserves your money in 2007? Science and Environment guid

The rise and ver ska o

Founded: Origins in the Observer newspaper during 1961 in a campaign by lawyer Peter Benenson called ‘Appeal for Amnesty.’

Supporters: 1.8 million Location: Headquarters in London, with offices worldwide Mission Statement: “to undertake research and action focused on preventing and ending grave abuses of the rights to physical and mental integrity, freedom of conscience and expression, and freedom from discriminaton, within the context of its work to promote all human rights.”

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a in Al paign m a c and und ga dam, durin undergro r , e t 1 s 7 s d 19 Am eapon ls, an ded: rs in imina to live Foun nuclear w million eadquarte r c l a t 8 f l ing o or ters: 2. ational H ldwide nmen n they fai r n r nviro Supp ion: Inter ntries wo expose e tions whe nt and ou e t u a Loca s in 40 co ent: “To nd corpor environm ut m a r e ide, b e c u t t i w o n d e l d off on Sta r n r m o a o sw i egu vern act Miss llenge go ate to saf paign man imp m a c u d a t . the h to ch their man fferen arrior ny di f tackling a M ow W up to .” b o : n i e n a g m i e lR futur t Campa mmon the essel igina s he or ace v . t e f p o n Late have a co e nch ents Gre many te change : 1978 lau g trawler. ng of the secret ag clima Moment mer fishin 85 bombi by French Best metre for t: The 19 Zealand A 40 t Momen or in New illed. £3 r o W s ow Warri ber was k onation: b m D n i e ly m Ra onth crew One ested M g Sug

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Founded: 1961, Switzerland Supporters: almost five million Location: Offices worldwide, headquarters in Gland, Switzerland Mission Statement: “to stop the degradation of the planet’s natural environment and to build a future in which humans live in harmony with nature.”

Latest Campaign: Worldwide, many issues. In UK much effort is concentrated on the campaign to save for sustainable housing Best Moment: The “Save the Rhino” campaign in the seventies, which instantly raised over US$1 million in the fight to end Rhino poaching Worst Moment: Legal dispute over the acronym ‘WWF’ with the World Wrestling Federation (now known as World Wrestling Entertainment).

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des you through the minefield* of Non-governmental Organisations

rise of NgOs

Latest Campaign: calling on political leaders to make sure political violence in Lebanon does not laed to human rights abuses Worst Moment: After the 9/11 attacks on the US it is reported that a senior US government official told Amnesty International: “Your role collapsed with the collapse of the Twin towers in New York.”

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Hundreds of thousands of children have been reached by War Child

Founded: 1993, Set up in response to the conflict raging in the former Yugoslavia. Initially raising money through entertainment events and public appeals, War Child set out to bring immediate material aid to children of all ages and ethnic backgrounds.

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Latest Campaign: In 2005, to mark the 10th anniversary of The Help Album, War Child UK launched Help: a Day in the Life. In addition to Radiohead and Manic Street Preachers, the new album features artists such as Coldplay, Bloc Party, Elbow, Feeder and Kaiser Chiefs, along with Keane who are current patrons of War Child UK. Best Moment: In the last ten years, War Child has achieved a lot.

Hundreds of thousands of children have been reached with War Child programs in more than twenty different warzones around the world.

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INTERVIEWS

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Meet The Hof Amira Hashish and Dustin Hoffman talk films, family

I

ngredients for a film premier: red carpet (a must-have), hoards of paparazzi, a selection of TV crews and an abundance of overexcited fans. A high-profile location is of utmost importance (The Odeon in London’s Leicester Square is always a satisfactory starting point). Add a sprinkling of star-dust and a token Hollywood Legend and there you have it; a glamorous evening ready to be dished out and fed to the public eye.

Now let’s rewind and look a little more closely at the ‘token Hollywood legend’ factor. This is the make or break feature of the event; the equivalent to the season’s key item of clothing on the catwalk. Without it, heads do not turn and the occasion is deemed average (and it is better to be labelled ridiculous than merely average.)

The legend has a natural stage presence. So does this mean that his/her charisma will override the need for a grand entrance? No. Most certainly not. The arrival is designed to add to the magnetism of the scenario and the fascination of onlookers. First impressions do count. It is time to pull the black limo out of the bag. Not one of those tacky ones that has the number of the rental company plastered on its side either. This is a genuine article reserved for the finer occasions (as opposed to Chantelle’s 23rd.)

Of course, every event has slight variations. With a title like, Stranger Than Fiction, the UK premier was never going to be run of the mill. In this instance, Dustin Hoffman has the role of ‘Hollywod legend’ but plays it in an unusually grounded fashion. He is accessible rather than untouchable and more endearing than stereotypically iconic. He must adhere to certain rules and regulations. Cue the limo, red carpet walk etc. But the difference between this actor and so many of his peers is that he sincerely appreciates

his position and displays his gratitude with a warm openness and willingness to make time for people. This is probably what makes him such an alluring character.

The film’s screening is already running behind schedule and it cannot start until its biggest star is comforta b l y

for house hunting on this particular visit. Stranger Than Fiction is the reason for his business trip. He is keen to encourage people to see the film and is proud of his work. “I really do love the movie. It turned out to be one of the best scripts I have read in a long time because it has real ‘weight’ to it,” he explains. But Hoffman took a risk when it came to accepting the role of Dr. Jules Hilbert. “The truth is, it wasn’t the script that attracted me,” he confesses. “I worked with the director, Mark Foster, on Finding Neverland and we struck up a friendship. I said, ‘the next time you do something please call me

I never intended to become famous. It was a freak accident seated. Rather than use this as an excuse to rush any other duties, Mr Hoffman makes sure that his fans are enjoying their evening and happily banters with paparazzi and press. Is there anyone this gentleman could not charm?

We begin to talk and his agent attempts to hurry him but the Academy Award winner is having none of it.

Instead, he continues to enthuse about his time in Britain. ‘I love London,’ he says. “I would prefer to live here.

Unfortunately, I raised all these children. The last one has just left the house though. So that means I can now live here if I feel like it. I don’t know where my wife is.” He attempts to pinpoint Mrs Hoffman amongst the hectic crowd still on the red carpet outside.

“Maybe, I can talk her into it.”

However much he may want to, the actor is not likely to have much time

and I’ll do it.’ So he called me up. He said, ‘I am directing a film, do you want to be in it?’ I asked him if I could see the script but he said I wasn’t allowed. The deal was I said yes or no.

I said yes. I was lucky that it was such a good script.”

Dr. Hilbert is quite different from the characters that Hoffman has previously played and the actor is aware of this. He analyses the role. “He is an interesting character. I would say he was cerebral. He cuts himself off emotionally until the end.” The seventy year old is very proud of this part of the film, but not for its dramatic element. “At the very end of the film Hilbert has his bathing trunks on and he jumps in the pool,” he explains. “In that one scene you see the magnificence of my physique like you have never seen in any other film. You see how well built I am. I put this man to shame in the last scene,” he says pointing to his coach who is standing next to

him. “My trainer will be the first to tell you how much I can bench press. Feel my biceps,” he suggests flexing his muscles. The verdict? Impressive.

After a typically humorous interlude, the star resumes the more serious side of the conversation and reveals that the character of Hilbert was not entirely fictional to its performer.

“Let’s just say I have known people that are like this guy and I hung around them for a little while,” admits Hoffman. “But I don’t want to name them because I am not sure if my character is that much of an attractive one.”

The Hook star is no stranger to mingling and working with other Hollywood A-listers. He has been cast alongside a range of actors including Robert De Niro and Johnny Depp (or maybe it should be said that they have been cast alongside him.) He is Gene Hackman’s former flatmate and has struck up friendships with the likes of De Niro. “Robert is a great guy. He is also a superb actor. One of his acting tricks is to never look you directly in the eye. He pointed out a very accurate human characteristic to me. When we talk to each other we often let our eyes wonder. Too many actors are too focused on making eye contact instead of being natural about the whole thing.”

He has nothing but praise for his Stranger Than Fiction co-workers. “I didn’t work with anyone except Will Ferrell or Emma Thompson. But you are bound to enjoy working with those two. They are first rate actors and so the film has a first rate cast. It’s one of the best casts I have ever been privileged enough to work with. Maggie Gyllenhaal is in the movie as well. She is really happy because she has just had a baby,” explains the leading gentleman.

There is a myth you should never meet, let alone work with, your idols.

But Hoffman would be the first to dispel it. He is almost brought to tears

when reminiscing of his time spent with Arthur Miller. “Working with Arthur for a production of Death of A Salesman was just terrific. We used to talk a lot and he promised me he would help me every step of the way if I was to be in the production. He kept his promise.” You know your career has been on the right track when you can list Arthur Miller as a one-time coach Hoffman’s career is nothing short of impressive. He first came to our attention for his role as Benjamin Braddock in Mike Nichol’s Academy Awardnominated film, The Graduate. He looks back on this time in his life with fond memories. “It was terrific. I was just a young boy working with beautiful actresses and such a talented group of people. When you’re a struggling actor and a role like Benjamin Braddock comes along you cannot believe your luck. I was waiting tables for a living and suddenly I was plucked from obscurity and was becoming a star,” he remembers.

However, his intention was never to be a ‘star’ and he struggled with the idea for a while. “It was a freak accident. I never intended to become famous. I said, “I’m going back to theatre.” I could afford to have that conceit because I had work. But then Midnight Cowboy came along and I just knew I could not turn it down.”

The movie earned him his second out of seven Oscar nominations. He continued to make movies including, Arthur Penn’s Little Big Man, delivering a superb portrayal of an Indian fighter, a role which required him to age 100 years.

He next starred in Sam Peckinpah’s harrowing Straw Dogs, a film which earned harsh criticism during its original release but which, like much of Peckinpah’s work, was later the subject of much favourable reassessment.

In 1973 Hoffman co-starred with Steve McQueen in the prison drama Papillon, which returned him to the

gairrhydd 21

DECEMBER.11.2006 INTERVIEWS@gairrhydd.COM

INTERVIEWS

ffman and good fortune... ranks of box-office success before he starred as the legendary stand-up comedian Lenny Bruce in Bob Fosse”s 1974 biography Lenny; a stunning portrayal which earned him a third Academy Award nomination. “Making movies like Lenny was a real honour for me,” he says. “The 60s and 70s was a Golden Age for Hollywood and I feel so privileged to have been part of it.”

1979’s domestic drama Kramer vs.

Kramer, was a major success for both camps, and Hoffman’s portrayal of a divorced father finally earned him an Academy Award on his fourth attempt at the prize. He also won a Golden Globe, as well as honours from the New York and Los Angeles critics. “To this day, Kramer Vs. Kramer is so special to me. When I watch it, it really defines a moment in my life and my career that I am very proud of,” he comments.

Working with Arthur Miller was just terrific Hoffman’s next film, the Sydney Pollack-helmed 1982 comedy Tootsie, was even more successful at the box office; starring as an out-of-work actor who dresses in drag to win a role on a soap opera, he earned yet another Oscar nomination as the film grossed nearly $100 million during its theatrical release. “I decided it was time to take a break after Tootsie. “I had gone through a divorce and a re-marriage in 1980. I had children and I felt that it was time to put things in perspective and even go back to my theatre roots for some time.”

One of Hoffman’s more memorable theatrical roles was as Shylock in a Broadway production of Shakespeare’s, The Merchant of

Venice. “Playing Shakespeare’s Shylock on stage was the most terrifying thing I have ever done,” claims the actor. “You cannot improvise Shakespeare. I had a Shakespeare Made Easy book to help me learn the lines.”

Hoffman has since starred in roles ranging from Finding Neverland, Runaway Jury with John Cusack and long-time friend Gene Hackman and David O. Russell’s, I Heart Huckabees. His role in Meet The Fockers was a huge success, really demonstrating his effortless comedic streak.

With such vast acting experience one could ponder as to whether he still manages to become emotionally involved with the characters he plays.

“You don’t become the other character.

You are not someone else. But you merge,” he explains. “As an actor you do your best to work on a conscious level. I think athletes would use the term, ‘in the zone.’ If you get out of ‘the zone’ and try to get back into it you can’t.”

The A-lister has an overwhelming sense of passion for his job and this fuels his energy for it. “I have been scared, frightened and even depressed but never bored. I cannot see that happening. I really appreciate being in such a lucky position and having my career,” he says. It is this attitude that makes Hoffman so charming.

As his agent persuades him it really is time for him to attend the screening, he demonstrates his generous streak once again. “I refuse to watch the movie unless everyone here can come and see it with me,” he demands. What a character.

Dustin Hoffman’s latest film, Stranger Than Fiction, is out now.

Dustin in Meet The Parents

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23

JOBS & MONEY

DDECEMBER.11.2006 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

Elizabeth Winder on how to dress for an interview Clothing

Some evidence shows that interviewers are more favourable to people like them. The best attire would therefore depend on the preferred clothing of your interviewer.

It is unlikely you will know this before attending, so plain colours in simple styles are best. Suits particularly make a good impression for managerial roles.

Perfume

Cheap Christmas cheer

1

Make use of Christmas offers.

Most shops have two for one offers or discount days to get you to part with your much needed cash.

Share an offer with a friend if you don’t need both items.

2

Get out the glitter pens and glue.

Make your own wrapping paper, cards and even presents if you have time. Homemade fudge, cakes or biscuits always go down a treat.

3

Email. Send Ecards rather than buying a spending a fortune on stamps. It is also better for the environment. Or send cards as a household.

4

Cheating Presents. Buy a present for the whole family like a board game. Do a secret Santa if you have a big group of friends to buy for.

It can be fun if you manage to keep it a secret from one another, although very hard.

5

Set a budget. Decide amongst your friends and family on a spending amount limit so that your budget does not get chucked out of the window.

6

Christmas promise. If you are really stuck for cash give your friend or family a Christmas promise. Be nice to them for a day, wash their car, or promise not throw up on their carpet.

7

Pre-book a train ticket home as early as you can to save some extra pennies.

It is not just girls that wear artificial scent. Male interviewers dislike strong scents, but females favour it. Maybe you could keep a mini-spray in your pocket.

Make-up

Name. Age. Specialist subject.

Students must know themselves inside out for interviews. Gillian Roberts looks at how to act and prepare for one.

Y

ou’ve bought the matching suit and have fantasised about your new name badge and wage packet but getting through the interview process can be more difficult than most students think.

Graduates continuously face a tough time proving their employability skills and showing that they are ready for work. Interviewing being the time to prove that you have what it takes to enter into graduate employment.

Yet, the proposition of an interview can seem a bit scary, but it is not just for the employer but for you. It can provide an insight into the job on offer and into the career area you may wish to work in.

The purpose of an interview is also to meet you face-to-face, look at your skills and strengths, access your potential and see how you interact with others. Candidates may look good on paper but without selling yourself on the day, you are unlikely to get the job.

The National Union of Students

(NUS) have said that it can be difficult for students to know what the employer is after, with only a fifty word job advert to go on. But interviewees should not fret as help is on hand from a survey by the AGR (The Association of Graduate Recruiters). Together with the NUS they have come up with the skills and attributes employers are on the look out for.

Confidence

It’s not unknown that confident job candidates have the most successful interviews. Projecting a good focused image of yourself is the key so that the employer can feel that you could take on any challenge. To improve your confidence, make yourself familiar with the interview format and learn from your mistakes. Record or tape yourself, play it back and see if you are selling yourself in a correct manner.

Team-working

The importance of team working has been stressed by Carl Gilleard,

AGR chief executive who has said: “More and more you are expected to work in teams; it may be multi-disciplinary with people drawn from a range of different skills bases and parts of the organisation or it may be a very specific team. And the ability to be able to mould yourself to be a part of the team when you join an organisation is considered to be a very important requirement.”

Questions and answers

You will be expected to ask some questions, but don’t think this is the time to be funny, clever or over the top.

Ask questions (previously thought out) which would benefit you if you obtained the job, think about job security, training and promotion opportunities. The interviewer will ask you a mixture of open and closed questions.

Open questions are impossible to give a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to, for example, ‘How did you get around that?’ these are used to explore certain topics and to form a picture of you. Closed ques-

Heavy makeup is not seen favourably, but wearing some does increase interviewer ratings. The research hasn't looked at the effects of men in makeup.

tions usually produce a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer which is fine, but try to add in as many positive points about yourself yet don’t over do it.

Flexibility and adaptability

According to Carl Gilleard “The reason this is regarded so highly is due to the pace of change in organisations and not everybody finds it easy to cope with this. Also we are in the era of the multi-skilled worker and employers want workers who are happy and comfortable doing different things when required. Organisations need to be able to change directions very quickly and employers want graduates to be up to that challenge.”

Motivation, commitment and enthusiasm

An employer who is interviewing a graduate will be aware that this probably is not the only interview the graduate has. Show that you are committed and have chosen them. Have an understanding of the job and be enthusiastic, but try not to be overly enthusiastic

Body Language

As soon as you walk into the building the interview has begun. Behave yourself, you don’t know whose watching. Be comfortable, it is not appropriate to be seen spinning around on the chair. Firm hand shakes only, and sit down when you are asked, not before. Be at ease, have open arms and not crossed, which is more defensive.

Remember to smile and make eye contact.

BAR AND WAITING STAFF REQUIRED We urgently require experienced bar and waiting staff to work at various Christmas functions on Friday 15 and Saturday 16th December.

jobshop

Please contact us on 029 20781535 or pop in to the Jobshop on the ground floor of the Students’ Union. Opening hours 10am-4pm Monday-Friday.

gairrhydd

25

MEDIA

DECEMBER.11.2006 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Didn’t Coca Cola forget something?

W

Christmas is just a mouse click away Karen Euwens Media Correspondent

T

he Internet is becoming increasingly popular with shoppers and, with Christmas Day fast approaching, online spending looks set to soar. But if you’re planning to gift-hunt on eBay this year instead of hitting the high street, you may want to think about the pros and cons, to ensure that your holiday remains stress-free.

A decade ago, we had no choice but to brave the festive crowds and fight our way through jostling department stores in search of the perfect gift.

Now it seems that British shoppers are relishing the opportunity to take up their mouse and keyboard and shop in the comfort of their own homes.

Web monitoring company, Hitwise, revealed that UK visits to online stores this season have already overtaken last year’s record, accounting for 13 percent of all Internet hits. According to the Interactive Media and Retail Group (IMRG), online spending on Christmas presents is expected to hit an unprecedented £7 billion.

James Roper, chief executive of IMRG, explains that: “the internet has become the most reliable way to shop.

With real-time product availability becoming the norm at the leading eretailers, consumers can tick off their shopping lists with certainty, rather than pinning their hopes on pounding the pavements”. A recent Which? report confirmed the Internet’s benefits, revealing impressive savings on electrical goods. One example was the Archos MP3 player, which could be purchased for just £281 at pixmania.co.uk, saving the discerning Internet shopper more than 30 per-cent off the high street price.

Of course, the Internet is not always a cheaper alternative. Some websites charge substantial shipping fees and, as with any type of purchase, it pays to shop around. According to Malcolm Coles, editor of which.co.uk, “real bargain hunters use comparison sites to find the best prices online but also

check whether they could get it cheaper in a high street shop”. Online ‘shopbots’, such as Kelkoo, can be used to search thousands of online retailers to find the best prices for your chosen product. This can be time-consuming, but for many it is a favourable alternative to traipsing around a crowded shopping centre.

Another of the Internet’s main advantages is flexibility. Online specialists from Opportunity Wales stated that: “consumers can literally shop in their underwear at three am, from any location, using an Internet connection”. High street store, Comet, confirmed that shoppers are taking full advantage of the Internet’s 24/7 opening hours, after figures revealed that a

Perhaps the biggest worry, though, is the security of Internet shopping.

Most websites require consumers to enter their credit card details in order to purchase goods, which may send some of the more cautious shoppers running for the Debenhams checkouts.

Security experts have warned that fraudsters are planning large-scale attacks on online Christmas shoppers this year, predicting that as many as one in ten shoppers could be affected.

“The safety of shopping online continues to be a major concern to many consumers, especially the millions of novice Internet shoppers”, confirms Roper, adding that “some online shopping services are much better than others”

Shoppers are taking full advantage of the Internet’s 24/7 opening hours, after figures revealed that a quarter of its online sales are made at night-time quarter of its online sales are made at night-time. Of course, the Internet also gives shoppers the long-awaited chance to avoid long queues, pushy salespeople, and bad-tempered shop assistants – all common ingredients of the traditional Christmas shopping experience.

Unfortunately, this lack of human contact comes with its pitfalls. Deloitte partner, Richard Lloyd-Owen says: “When you buy online it’s not clear who you can speak to when something goes wrong and consumers like to complain face-to-face”. Similarly, while you might come across the perfect gift, you are just as likely to find yourself up to your eyeballs in cyberspace with no-one to go to for advice.

Lloyd-Owen also warns that consumers may fall victim to companies either losing or failing to deliver the correct items. This could quite possibly cause more stress than a trip down to Marks and Spencer on Christmas Eve.

Some experts encourage online shoppers to stick to High Street store websites, to ensure safe and reliable service. The website besafeonline.com acknowledges that there are many good online retailers with no high street stores, but urges shoppers to make sure they are on a ‘secure’ site before entering any credit card details, as well as noting the contact details of the company. Despite security concerns, Internet sales have increased by 50% since last year, suggesting that shoppers are prepared to take the risk in return for a hassle-free Christmas.

Surprisingly, Deloitte claims that almost one in five traders say they “do not believe the Internet is an important channel to market”. But with Britain’s estimated 25 million online shoppers set to spend an average of £4 million an hour during the Christmas countdown, it seems that they are missing out. After all, you know what they say – the proof is in the Christmas pudding.

hat’s happened to the Christmas Coca-Cola truck embellished with bright and colourful lights, accompanied by festive songs, and leaving you wide-eyed and filled with an anticipation for Christmas?

This year’s Christmas advert from one of the world’s biggest companies is disappointing. A cheesy, although convincing, Santa distributing Coca-Cola is seen to replace the old traditional Coca Cola truck.

For most of us, the Christmas buzz really starts with the Coca Cola advert with its famous truck, lightening up the snowy cities around the world as it passes. Children and adults are seen stopping and starring wide-eyed and amazed as the truck carries on its journey and a virtual Santa on the back of the truck winks farewell to his admirers, while sipping a Coca Cola.

You know it’s Christmas when you hear the advert’s uplifting and merry theme tune “holidays are coming”.

But what is happening this year?!

The truck barely appears on the screen, making merely

brief appearances in the background.

We’re mostly faced with a plump, white bushy-bearded Santa handing out vintage Coca Cola bottles to loved-up couples and families under the Christmas tree. The jovial and sing-along song has now been replaced with a more mellow, nostalgic tune.

Can this really be the new Coca Cola Christmas advert? What happened to Coca Cola’s creativity and individuality from all the other major companies?

The advert can be seen as a nice little story, yet one that very few people will be able to relate to, not only because of the characters but because of the settings and timeframes.

People have become so frustrated by this joke of an advertisement that already a petition has been set up online, “bring back the ‘holidays are coming’ Coca Cola advert. It’s a crime against Christmas!” So, if you are as frustrated as we are, sign this petition to bring back the good old Coca Cola truck at: http://www.petitiononline.com/xmascola/petition.html With no catchy tune or illuminated truck this year, Coca Cola has definitely got it wrong this Christmas!

Christmas Coca Cola truck: an increasingly rare sighting

gairrhydd

HEALTH

DECEMBER.11.2006 HEALTH@gairrhydd.COM

‘Tis the season to be stressed

Omega-3 Yousar Jafar Health Correspondent

As the festive season will soon be upon us, Liz Stauber takes a look at ways you can stay stress-free over the exam period

C

hristmas is just around the corner, and most people love the festive season. However, once the turkey is eaten and Auld Lang Syne is sung, for a lot of students it is time to come back to reality with a bump. An exam bump to be exact.

For most people, the Christmas recess brings with it a lot of revision, and for people in their last years their final exams are just around the corner.

And with these thoughts comes a lot of stress. Everybody wants to do as well as they can, but for some it’s harder to relax than for others.

However, there are a number of steps students can take in order to relieve some of the anxiety that starts to build up around the exam period.

Organisation

Make a list of all the things that need to be done. Sort out the notes so they are in sections and can be broken down into smaller revision projects.

Do not neglect the subject that you think you already know, it does not hurt just to make sure you know what they are about.

Create a timetable so you know how much time you can devote to different areas. Make sure to allocate time especially to take a break every now and then as everybody needs time out to recuperate.

Do not panic

It’s easier said than done, but try to keep calm. Try and find old papers to practice on to try and get a feel of the

type of things that may crop up this year. If it all seems to be getting too much take some deep breaths, whether this is days before the exam, when waiting outside or half way through, take two minutes just to regulate your breathing before you carry on.

Eat properly

Try not to "binge" on fast food just beacuse it is quick and easy. It also essential not to skip meals as they take time out from your revision. It is important to eat healthy food at regular intervals to keep your energy levels up and your mind thinking straight.

Sleep

As well as regular meals, it also important to make sure you get enough

Winter blues Liz Stauber Health Editor

S

easonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can affect two per cent of people in Northern

27

Europe, but many people have either never heard of the condition or chose not to recognise it as a genuine affliction.

Most of us do not like the cold winter months, but for others its more than

that. They become depressed and withdrawn and unable to feel like themselves. This is part of SAD. Sufferers tend to have trouble sleeping, needing naps throughout the day.

They also feel the need to over eat,

sleep. Experts recommend that we need eight hours a night in order to be refreshed the next day. You should stop working at least a half an hour before you go to bed to give your mind a chance to unwind to ensure a peaceful nights sleep. It is advisable not to pull an "all-nighter" as a good nights sleep can leave you refreshed and ready to take the exam.

Finally, remember that failure does not mean the end. Part of the stress is made worse by waiting for the results, and for the majority it turns out their fears were for nothing. But for an unfortunate few, the results are not what they hoped for. However, it is not the end. Most schools have a resit option and can offer advice on how to improve your grade.

especially carbohydrates.

They often are said to suffer from depression and have trouble finding the energy to do every day tasks such as socialising with family and friends.

There can also be physical symptoms such as stomach or muscle pains and young sufferers can also have behavioural problems.

The condition generally affects more women than men, with ten per cent of the population suffering from a milder form. It is thought that the further away from the equator a person lives, the more at risk they are.

However, countries that have frequent snowfall tend not to be affected.

The cause of SAD is simple, the lack of bright light.

Researchers have discovered that a bright light can make a difference to the brain’s chemistry, although the exact way in which it affects a person is not yet known. It is not an imaginary illness.

Medical advisers say that a brighter, warmer climate can help alleviate the suffering, but not everybody can afford to jet off to sunnier countries. Light therapy is another form of treatment, allowing sufferers to use a light box for 15 to 20 minutes a day to help control the feelings of depression.

If you feel like that you are experiencing SAD symptoms, it is important to consult a doctor.

E

xams are lurking as we draw closer to Christmas and everyone wants to pass. Whether you have to learn hard facts or write a 1000 word essay, omega-3 can give your brain that much needed boost – or so scientific research suggests.

There has been a hype in the food industry about omega-3’s for a while but exactly what is omega3 and more importantly how can it improve your performance in an exam?

Omega-3 fats are a type of polyunsaturated fat which is an essential fatty acid. The body cannot manufacture it so it must be taken in through the diet or in supplement form.

It has long been thought that omega-3 fats are beneficial for health as they play an important role in brain development and function among other things.

The brain is approximately 60% fat by weight and a lot of the fat is found in the cell membranes of the neurons and in protective myelin sheaths that cover them.

The types and proportions of fats in the cell membranes determine how effectively brain cells communicate. Thus, the intake of fatty acids in our diet is essential for brain development.

A deficiency means that the brain does not function optimally.

The role of omega-3 is to make the electrical signals travelling between the neurons of brain cells easier.

The best source of omega-3’s are found in fish such as mackerel, salmon, sardines and herring. Fish oils contain the long chain omega3 which help the development of brain tissue.

Omega-3 can also be taken in the form of fish oil capsules if you don’t fancy eating oily fish.

One capsule a week isn’t going to have a miraculous effect on your concentration but making sure you get enough omega-3 and 6 (another essential fatty acid) in your diet will undoubtedly be beneficial for your general health as well as give you the extra boost if taken regularly. It is recommended that we eat 2 portions of fish each week to provide us with sufficient omega-3

gairrhydd

29

TELEVISION

DECEMBER.11.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

This Week Malboros amongst the Menthols : December 11-December 17

Reindeer Droppings TV Desk tries to influence your vote on The X Factor

HOT

Smoking: While the fag ban is not in, it’s best to try and get those last few puffs of nicoteen into your aching lungs before it is too late. Yes its bad for you, it makes you smelly and cigarettes murder blind orphans but darn it, to err is to be human. Thats my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Soaps

By Friday this is what will happen in Eastenders. Phil asks Peggy if Stella can move in temporarily until the New Year, but she says he should speak to Ben first. However, a furious Ben is listening outside the door. Jim, meanwhile, tells Dot she should stop worrying about Pauline. Peggy asks a disgruntled Jim to put some money into the collection she's started. And Dot is shocked to hear that Peggy's asked the Reverend to contribute some money from the church carol concert. But more importantly in Hollyoaks A twist in his current storylines Justin ends up with the badboy being kidnapped by an unknown assailant and being given a taste of his own medicine...And when revealed who has kidnapped him viewers will be shocked.

It’s Scruffy the janitor, who I just made up.

The X Factor semi final is soon upon us, (Saturday itv1) so I thought i would take this oppotunity to write a short bit of sarcastic yet witty cynicsm on each finalist.

First lets look at Simon Cowell’s hip young things catergory.

Nikita was the first to go, due to the fact she was incredibly bland and cried every five minutes about making her family proud. Well she didnt. They hate her now.

Ashley was brilliant. He was the only one who acted like a teenager i.e incredibly lazy. So lazy in fact that he didnt bother to learn the words to his own songs Ray looks like Oliver Twist, has the nose of a squashed piglet and can’t actually sing. But he used to be in Brookside so mild respect is due.

Leona is going to win, let’s face it readers. She has a fantastic voice, lickable face and legs of a good length. However every time I watch her on screen I can imagine her shoving the head of some poor unfortunate down a toilet. She reeks of childhood bully. Therefore she is. Robert is someone I can’t remember, like wise with Dionne and Keri. Apart from one was in a wheelchair and the other had teeth you could park a car between. So that leaves Ben from the other over 25’s. Where do I start with the wonder of Ben? Firstly he is pleasing to the eye, and his whisky guzzling voice is arousing. Oh, and

Fudge Tunnel 79

NOT

Smoking - It’s smelly, it’s disgusting and cigarettes murder blind orphans.

But seriously my aim is to have stopped by the time the fag ban comes in.

I will replace fags with chupa chups and get bad teeth and a sugar addiction, or maybe I could take up knitting? Any advice is welcome.

Film

he seems to be the only one who can actually play an instrument.

That, of course, won’t be relevant in his manufactured career but it gives him a little bit of cred. Then there are the groups, who have all been chucked out. There was the brilliant Eton Road, incredibly bland except for the odd looking man/woman thing who had an

interesting face, which he use to hypnotise people into voting. Then there were the Macdonald Brothers, the younger camper version of the proclaimers, whose tactical plan was to be Scottish. It worked, they voted in the millions with their TV’s on mute. The other bands don’t matter as I have forgotten them, but readers I urge you dont let that stuck up bint face Leona win. Vote for Ben. Oh and plan some way to assasinate Ray before he performs.

DVDS TO RENT/BUY If you’re unsure what to put in your Christmas list this year, let me recommend some newly released comedy DVDs to brighten up your collection. It is the season of the Christmas cash in, and one of the best of the bunch is The Mighty Boosh Live DVD featuring the hot camp one, the weathered looking bearded one and the lisping midget. Recorded live from their UK tour this year, it features The Moon, Old Gred and The Hitcher, and I caught it at St David’s hall. It was superb apart from the drunk knobheads behind me who kept shouting out characters names at them. Just in case they forgot. To continue this comedy trend, why not get some Ross Noble Randomist under your belt?

The DVD features eight hours of the mainly improvised comedian,

so watch it in gaps as a little of him goes a long way. If you prefer your comedy Irish and drunken why not have a little look at Dylan Morans Like Totally stand up DVD. According to one shopper at amazon, “if you like laughing then this this is for you.” Who doesnt like laughing eh? Apart from bullying victims, clowns, and mute nuns!

Channel 4 brings us Secretary (Thursday 10pm) a rather fine film that not only introduced the world to Maggie Gyllenhal but showed us how bottom spanking can speak louder then words. It’s a twisted love story about two loners who discover a shared passion for S&M on their lunch breaks. Cue beatings with rulers.

Sport I have never done this page before and due to the fact that there is only two of us doing it I have to fill this bit in, but I know nothing about sport, although I know some Champion Leagues thing is going on. English teams are playing foreign teams whose names I can’t pronounce and if they win then people smile and if they lose people cry.

Radio If I know anything in this crazy mixed up world I know that Cliff Richard is some kind of God amongst men, so the highlight of this week must be his interview with Cilla Black on BBC Radio 2, (Tuesday 8:30pm.) She will find out all the information we have longed to know but never been given the chance to ask. She is going to focus on whether he has been unfairly derided in the press and by music critics. Maybe she will even ask him whether he likes his toast buttered on the upside, if you know what I mean eh eh eh? But I think we should stop the Cliff bashing, for it is due to him that we have enough clean water, food on our plates and sheets on our beds.

30 gairrhydd

MONDAY

DECEMBER.11.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

New Tricks

Underground Ernie

BBC1 9.00pm

BBC2 8.40am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Nobody’s Normal 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am My Life for Sale 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3:50pm Pinky and the Brain 4:10pm SMart 4:35pm The Crust 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2006 7:30pm Open All Hours 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Trauma 9:00pm New Tricks 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Men Behaving Badly They don’t make sitcoms like they used to.

Actually they do but this is still classic.

I think we act like this in our house.

We’re probably worse: we epitomise the male student stereotype. We’re not proud of this and if you are proud pf acting like this, then you’re a wanker.

11:05pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 11:35pm Face 1:20am Sign Zone:Panorama 2:20am Sign Zone:Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 2:50am Sign Zone:The State Within 3:50am Sign Zone:Natural World 4:40am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Arctic Diary 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am English Express 10:45am Look and Read 11:00am Look and Read 11:20am Testament: the Bible in Animation 11:50am Focus 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm English Express 1:15pm Something Special 1:30pm Snooker: UK Championship 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Great British Christmas Menu 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Coast 8:00pm It’s Not Easy Being Green 8:30pm University Challenge I’ve got my own university challenge at the moment thankyouverymuch. For January 17th I have to write 4 essays.

‘So what?’ I hear you cry. So thats 8900 words on various bits of English Lit. That doesn’t sound that much does it? Well it is.

9:00pm The Choir 10:00pm Have I Got News for You 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Snooker: UK Championship 12:10am Snooker Extra: UK Championship 1:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:Talk Greek 1-6 3:00am Mediterranean Cookery

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Vanessa’s Real Lives 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:30pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:40pm The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm King Arthur’s Disasters 4:30pm Uncle Dad 5:00pm The Price Is Right 6:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Analyze That If we analyze what I have to do you’ll see it’s no easy task. I have two 1600 essays. Piece of piss. Yeah. I have a 2500 word research essay. That should be quite easy too. The motherfucker of these essays is the 3200 word essay on Medieval Arthurian Literature. Inspiring module title isn’t it. This wouldn’t be so hard if: a. I’d read the texts. b.

Listened in class. c. I gave a whet whank about Prince Arthur and His Nine Muskateers.

10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm Analyze That 11:30pm Pop Factory Awards 12:30am Stretching the Thin Blue Line: Tonight 12:55am ITV Play: The Mint 4:25am Dial a Mum 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:05am Making It 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Frasier 9:50am ER 10:45am ER 11:30am King of the Hill 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:20pm Grudge Match 1:30pm Arabesque 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder 8:00pm Help Me Help My Child Those of you reading this (people do read this, I think) who do proper degrees will think I’m moaning about nothing. I only have 6 hours of lectures a week and only one 9 o’clocker. Maybe I am moaning about nothing but it’s not my fault.

I’m not used to doing work. If I did a proper degree I’d get on with my work without complaint. Because I do a subject which allows me to do absolutely fuck all and still get a 2.1 I like to complain about the small amount of work I get once a term. Also, why do they have to set it over...

9:00pm Monarchy by David Starkey 10:00pm Without a Trace 11:00pm The True Voice of Prostitution 12:00am Hollyoaks: In the City 1:00am The Closer 1:55am Shyamol Chhaya 4:00am Supporting Acts 4:05am World Cup Skiing 5:55am Inuk

6:00am Elmo’s World 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Franny’s Feet 7:35am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Thomas & Friends 8:45am Old Bear Stories 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Deadline 3:40pm Jane Doe: Now You See it, Now You Don’t 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm Fifth Gear 9:00pm Blown Away over Christmas.

That just makes life more difficult. I don’t want to sit in my room at home over Christmas and write essays. I want to sit in my room at home and play Football Manager and eat bacon and sausage everyday. Last Christmas I did that everyday. Me and Pete would talk on MSN for most of the day discussing what we had for breakfast, lunch and and what we were having for dinner. Toad in the hole with mash and gravy was a firm favourite. The fact that I remember this so vividly shows that I was having the time of my life. I came back to uni and did 4 essays in a week. 11:25pm A Girl’s Guide to 21st Century Sex 12:10am World’s Worst Driver 1:10am NFL Live 5:00am French Football - Le Championnat

7:00pm The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 8:00pm Honey We’re Killing the Kids 9:00pm The Great British Booze Awards 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Tittybangbang2 11:00pm Little Britain 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am The Great British Booze Awards 1:25am The Indestructibles 1:55am Grime Scene Investigation 2:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:25am The Indestructibles Cheer up, honey I hope you can. There is something wrong with me. My mind is filled with silvery stars. Honey kisses about to fly, shoulders shrugging off.

Cheer up, honey I hope you can. There is something wrong with me. My mind is filled with radio cures. Electronic surgical words. Picking apples for the kings and queens of things I’ve never seen.

7:00pm Planet Earth: The Future 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Day of the Triffids 9:00pm Mark Lawson Talks to Stephen King 10:00pm Storyville: 37 Uses for a Dead Sheep 11:25pm Nation on Film 11:55pm Planet Earth: The Future 12:55am Mark Lawson Talks to Stephen King 1:55am The People’s Chorus 2:55am Planet Earth: The Future All distance has no way of making love understandable. Cheer up, honey I hope you can.

There is something wrong with me. My mind is filled with silvery stars. Honey kisses clouds of love. Picking apples for the kings and queens of things I’ve never seen. All distance has no way of making love understandable. All distance has no way of making love understandable. All distance has no way of making love understandable. All distance has no way of making love understandable.

Cheer up, honey I hope you can.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop’s Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am ATOM 7:55am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am Emmerdale 10:55am The Montel Williams Show 11:35am Judge Judy 12:00pm Coronation Street 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:10pm Airline 5:40pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Happy Feet: European Premiere Special 8:30pm The Holiday UK Premiere Special 9:00pm Michelle and Andy’s Big Day 10:00pm Take That

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... P Diddy 8:00am Wake Up with... P Diddy 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Irish 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm Scrubs 2:30pm Scrubs 3:00pm Young, Sexy and... Soapy 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Switched 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Hollyoaks: In the City 10:00pm A Knight’s Tale 12:30am Invasion 1:20am Hollyoaks: In the City 2:25am The Chris Isaak Show 3:10am Invasion 3:50am Young, Sexy and... Soapy 4:35am Switched 4:55am Switched 5:20am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Above Us the Waves 11:15am Deal or No Deal 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Dwdlam 12:45pm Gel a FFion 12:50pm Ffi-Ffi A’i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Clwb Cleber 1:15pm Richard & Judy’s Christmas Book Special 2:30pm Deal or No Deal 3:15pm Countdown 4:00pm Popty Bob Man 4:25pm Stamina 4:45pm Calendr Adfent 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Ffermio 9:00pm Cefn Gwlad 9:30pm Cwpan Heineken 10:30pm Sgorio 11:35pm Monarchy

by David Starkey 12:40am Help Me Help My Child 1:35am Young at Heart 3:30am South American Championship Football

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Analyze That

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Blown Away

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gairrhydd

31

TUESDAY

DECEMBER.11.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

The Cult Of Blake’s Seven BBC4 8.00pm

Everybody Loves Raymond C4 8.00am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Nobody’s Normal 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am My Life for Sale 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Wink 3:50pm Pinky and the Brain 4:10pm SMart 4:35pm The Crust 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Watchdog 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm The Royal Variety Performance 2006 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather Normally I find it annoying when a programme is interrupted for the news, but in this case, I think it’ll provide well needed respite from whatever dross Prince Phillip is pretending to be entertained by. If there’s no Pasquale, I’m not playing.

10:35pm The Royal Variety Performance 2006 11:20pm Tony Bennett: An American Classic 12:05am Duets 1:55am Sign Zone:See Hear 2:40am Sign Zone:Coast 3:40am Sign Zone:Jam and Jerusalem 4:10am Sign Zone:Heston Blumenthal: In Search of Perfection 4:40am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Arctic 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Primary History 10:50am Primary Geography 11:10am Horizon 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Science Clips 1:10pm Science Clips 1:20pm Science Clips Investigates 1:30pm Return to Tuscany 2:00pm am.pm 3:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Great British Christmas Menu 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 8:00pm Rick Stein’s Food Heroes Christmas Special 8:30pm Heston Blumenthal: In Search of Perfection 9:00pm Monty Don: Growing Out of Trouble Monty Don was really little, and kept falling down holes and stuff. So then he grew up, got too big and stopped getting stuck in things. He GREW OUT OF TROUBLE, y’see?

Brilliant.

10:00pm On Show 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Snooker: UK Championship 12:10am Snooker Extra: UK Championship 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Razzledazzle 4:00am Razzledazzle

7:00pm The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 8:00pm Honey We’re Killing the Kids 9:00pm Pissed and Pregnant 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Torchwood 11:20pm Tittybangbang2 11:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:50am Pissed and Pregnant 1:45am Tittybangbang2 2:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:45am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:15am Honey We’re Killing the Kids This week sees me in the midst of ESSAY HELL! And so I’m very happy to be doing some TV related stuff as it’s a better excuse for not working than “oh, I wonder if that website has updated...” or “maybe I need MORE vimto...”. Of course all the work will get done, but I may involve disconnecting the Internet...a fate worse than death surely. I’d like to take this opportunity to talk about some stuff I’ve been recently enjoying. Well, I finally...

7:00pm Reputations 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Cult of Blake’s Seven 9:00pm Abdication: A Very British Coup 10:00pm An Ideal Husband 11:30pm The Cult of Blake’s Seven 12:00am Abdication: A Very British Coup 1:00am 10 Best Choral Masterpieces 2:00am The Cult of Blake’s Seven 2:30am Nation on Film 3:00am Abdication: A Very British Coup ... managed to get a hold of the Beat Happening seven CD retrospective box set. Can you imagine my excitement? I’ve also been listening to lots more of The Blow and Tender Forever.

I’m gay for K Records once again. Also, I have eaten the same meal every day for the past week. It’s a nice meal though and it’s easy. Can you guess what it is? Clue: I don’t like baked beans. Send your answers to TV Gareth c/o gair rhydd. I can’t wait for Christmas. I hope you have a good one and we never come back.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Young, Sexy & ...Sporty E4 4.10am

The Wright Stuff

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Vanessa’s Real Lives 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:30pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:40pm The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm King Arthur’s Disasters 4:30pm Uncle Dad 5:00pm EXTINCT: The Quiz 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Snowdon Mountain Race Before I decide if I want to watch this, I want to know if they’re racing up Snowdon or down Snowdon. If it’s up it will mean everyone will be moaning and have blisters, but if it’s down it’ll probably be more like It’s A Knock Out. And that’s the sort of shit I’m into.

8:00pm EXTINCT These capitals are not mine, but in fact chosen by ITV. I suggest that means this programme will be hard hitting stuff.

9:00pm Taggart 10:30pm ITV News 11:00pm The British Comedy Awards 16 Dangerous Years 12:00am ITV Play: The Mint 3:55am Solution Street 4:35am The Jules and Lulu Show Behind the scenes of Scotch pop midget Lulu and DJ Judge Jules’ co-headline tour across America.

This week, tempers flare. 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Frasier 9:55am ER 10:45am ER 11:35am King of the Hill 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm The King of Queens 1:55pm 3 Minute Wonder 2:00pm 3 Minute Wonder: Raw Cuts Competition 2:05pm Fort Massacre 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder 8:00pm Selling Houses Special 9:00pm Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10:00pm Unknown White Male Ummm, Christian Bale? Andy Farrell?

Steve MacLaren? Noel Edmonds? Jim Carrey? The Bassist From The View?

Eminem? Will Hitchens? Gary Connery?

Rod Stewart? Mark Draper? Lil’ Chris?

Brian Reade? Jonathan Ross? Toby Anstis? Alexander Litvinenko? Alan Spedding? Craig Bellamy? Derren Brown? Martin Clunes? Matthew Wright? Bruce Forsyth? Lee off of Hollyoaks? Liam Miller? Stephen Fry? Snoop Dog? Actually...probably not Snoop Dog. 11:45pm The True Voice of Rape 12:50am Hollyoaks: In the City 1:50am The Closer 2:45am The Luzhin Defence 4:35am FIA GT Championship 5:00am Thunder Races

6:00am Elmo’s World 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Franny’s Feet 7:35am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Thomas & Friends 8:45am Old Bear Stories 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Help Wanted: Male 3:40pm The Color of Love: Jacey’s Story 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Glories of Islamic Art 8:00pm JFK’s Women - The Scandals: Revealed 9:00pm CSI: Miami 10:00pm CSI:NY 11:00pm MacIntyre’s Underworld Following all the hoo-ha in Coronation Street, channel five presents this new spin-off soap focusing on life in Wetherfield’s knicker factory.

12:05am The FBI Files 1:05am NBA Action 1:25am NBA Basketball 3:45am Race and Rally UK 4:10am Motorsport Mundial Motorsport MUNDANE more like. HA! Take that you fools. No, I’m sorry...I don’t really like cars what with the whole not being able to drive thing. This programme involves driving fast I’m sure, and that must be the best kind of driving? Is it? Let me know please. 4:35am Boxing Classic 5:10am ITU Triathlon

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop’s Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am ATOM 7:55am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:40pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Madonna: Million Dollar Babies 9:00pm Ghosthunting With Girls Aloud 11:00pm Michelle and Andy’s Big Day 12:00am Entourage 12:30am The Office: An American Workplace

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Jude Law and Cameron Diaz 8:00am Wake Up with...

Jude Law and Cameron Diaz 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Mancs 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm Scrubs 2:30pm Scrubs 3:00pm Young, Sexy and... Sporty 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Switched 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Wife Swap 10:00pm Star Stories 10:35pm Star Stories 11:00pm Unanimous 12:05am Unanimous: The Fallout 12:35am One Tree Hill 1:30am One Tree Hill 2:20am Wife Swap 3:20am The Chris Isaak Show 4:10am Young, Sexy and... Sporty

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am The Wackiest Ship in the Army 11:15am Deal or No Deal 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Dwdlam 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Penblwyddi!

12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Sali Mali 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Bws Parti 1:15pm Wild Thing I Love You 2:20pm 3 Minute Wonder 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Y Brodyr Adrenalini 4:15pm Planed Plant:Wap! 4:25pm Planed Plant:OFN 4:45pm Calendr Adfent 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Retro 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Y Byd ar Bedwar 9:00pm Mandela 10:00pm Selling Houses 11:00pm 10 Years Younger: Christmas Special

Vanessa’s Real Lives ITV1 12.30pm

five 9.00am

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

32 gairrhydd

WEDNESDAY

BBC News

BBC News 24

BBC1 6.00pm

BBC2 12.10am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Nobody’s Normal 10:00am Homes Under The Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am My Life for Sale 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Wink 3:50pm Pinky and the Brain 4:10pm SMart 4:35pm The Crust 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Open All Hours 7:30pm Coming Home It’s nearly Christmas. I’m quite excited. I’m going home on Friday 15th. On Sunday 17th I’ve been invited to a 21st birthday party. The only downside is that it’s a ‘black-tie’ party at a golf club. I want to go and catch up with people but I don’t want to have to wear a ‘black-tie’. I’ve avoided every University event that 8:00pm Traffic Cops 8:30pm DIY SOS 9:00pm A Child Against All Odds 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:40pm The Thomas Crown Affair 12:35am Sign Zone:Planet Earth 1:35am Sign Zone:A Child Against All Odds 2:35am Sign Zone:Digging Deep 3:05am Sign Zone:Super Vets 3:35am Joins BBC News 24

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Arctic Diary 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Around the World in 80 Treasures 11:30am am.pm 1:00pm Uncharted Territory 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Great British Christmas Menu 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 8:00pm Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen 8:30pm Oz and James’s Big Wine Adventures 9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm The Catherine Tate Christmas Show 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Snooker: UK Championship 12:10am Joins BBC News 24 1:30am From Page to Stage 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Razzledazzle 4:00am Magic Key requires formal dress. There are several reasons for this. I don’t want to have to pay to hire a suit. I don’t have any black shoes that fit me. I have stupid hair which would make me look like an anal prolapse in a tuxedo and, well, most people at the Summer Ball are wankers anyway. I haven’t RSVPd for the party yet. If table plans have already been drawn up and I reply late I’ll get stuck

7:00pm The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 8:00pm Honey We’re Killing the Kids 9:00pm Drunk and Disorderlies 10:00pm Bodies 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am The Real Hustle 1:00am Drunk and Disorderlies 1:55am Bodies 3:25am Grime Scene Investigation Ought to know what a liar I am, ought to know me by now. Don’t curse me for my nature, don’t bless me for my wrongs.

Just a bad penny, I always come back to you. Just a bad penny. Just a bad penny, I always come back to you.

Should have known you couldn’t trust me as far as you can throw me, Couldn’t throw me too far. Just a bad penny, couldn’t throw me too far. I think I fucked your girlfriend once. Maybe twice, I don’t remember. Then I fucked all your friends’ girlfriends. Now they hate you. Just a bad penny, just a bad penny. Just a bad penny,

7:00pm Abdication: A Very British Coup 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Valley of Song 9:00pm Return to Lonesome Dove 10:30pm Don’t Watch That Watch This! 11:00pm Abdication: A Very British Coup 12:00am The Cinema Show 1:00am Don’t Watch That Watch This! 1:30am Valley of Song 2:00am Abdication: A Very British Coup 3:00am Don’t Watch That Watch This! 3:30am Valley of Song just a bad penny. Just a bad penny, just a bad penny. Such a bad penny, such a bad penny. Bad, bad penny, bad, bad penny. Ought to know what a liar I am, ought to know me by now. Such a bad penny. Ooh bad, bad penny, bad, bad penny. Ought to know what a liar I am, ought to know me by now. Ought’ve known you couldn’t trust me as far as you can throw me, throw me. Such a bad penny, such a bad penny. Such a bad penny, such a bad penny. Slap my hand.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

DECEMBER.11.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

ITV News

Channel 4 News

five news

ITV 10.30pm

C4 7.00pm

five 7.00pm

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Vanessa’s Real Lives 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:30pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:40pm The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel’s Boys 4:30pm Uncle Dad 5:00pm EXTINCT: The Quiz 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm EXTINCT ricker lickers who sat on their own in the corner of the common room. If I go I won’t be expected to socialise with people later on in the holidays. Not that I’d be invited anyway.

I don’t understand how so many people from school still care about each other.

They still uphold all the traditions from Sixth Form, like going to the Coachman pub. Why? It takes 20 minutes to drive to. What’s wrong with walking to Spoons anyway? I like seeing people from home but I have absolutely nothing in common with the majority of them. The only thing they still have in 9:00pm The British Comedy Awards 2006 Live 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Madonna: Million Dollar Babies 11:30pm Entourage 12:00am ITV Play: The Mint 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:20am Will and Grace 8:50am Frasier 9:15am Frasier 9:45am ER 10:40am ER 11:30am King of the Hill 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:25pm Grudge Match 1:40pm The Last Wagon 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder 8:00pm 10 Years Younger: Christmas Special common is that they still want to feel popular. In order to achieve this they have to continue to pretend to care about each other. Probably. I don’t know this. I’m being a miserable, cynical bastard who resents not being asked to drive to a shitty country pub to drink traditional beers. Sounds shit doesn’t it? I don’t even like traditional beers. I know that as soon as I get home I’ll want to feel popular and be the centre of social activity. Being the centre of social activity means that I’ll be texting people trying to find out what’s going on because 9:00pm Secret Millionaire 10:00pm The Family Who Vanished 11:05pm The True Voice of Murder 12:10am Hollyoaks: In the City 1:10am Freesports on 4 1:35am World Cup Skiing 3:30am Goalissimo!

4:25am Trans World Sport 5:20am Countdown

6:00am Elmo’s World 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Franny’s Feet 7:35am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Thomas & Friends 8:45am Old Bear Stories 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:30pm Happy 3:40pm Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid no one wants to tell me. Gutted, Neil. I can’t wait for Christmas. Ha. I sound like Scrooge or something. This is not an actual reflection of me. I’m just typing cack as quickly as possible so that I can go home quicker. Writing TV is so self indulgent. It’s brilliant. I think I have to do 4 pages this week cos I was at home last week. TV Gareth’s not here.

He’s got essays due in next week so he’s decided he should start with less than a week to go. Living with me means that he’s easily distracted.

7:00pm five news 7:15pm Game Ranger Diaries 8:00pm ASBO Teen to Beauty Queen 9:00pm Enemy of the State 11:35pm Shock Docs: My 100,000 Lovers 12:35am PartyPoker.com Aussie Millions 1:25am NHL Ice Hockey 4:00am Boxing Classic 4:30am Boxing Classics 5:10am A1 Grand Prix

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop’s Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am ATOM 7:55am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:25pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:35pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:25pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Nanny 911 9:00pm Driving Mum And Dad Mad 10:00pm Coronation Street 10:30pm British Comedy Awards - The Awards Go On 11:30pm My Stepmother Is an Alien 1:30am ITV Play: Playdate

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with Amy Winehouse 8:00am Wake Up with Amy Winehouse 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Londoners 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm Scrubs 2:30pm Scrubs 3:00pm Young, Sexy and... Hollywood 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Switched 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Desperate Housewives 10:00pm Desperate Housewives 11:00pm The Russell Brand Show 11:50pm Funny Cuts: Devvo 12:00am Sex and the City 12:40am No Angels 1:45am Desperate Housewives 2:30am Desperate Housewives 3:10am No Angels

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:20am Will and Grace 8:50am Frasier 9:20am The Man in the Iron Mask 11:15am Deal or No Deal 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Dwdlam 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Peppa Pinc 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Ding Dong 1:00pm Falmai y Fuwch 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm Wild Thing I Love You 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Clwb Winx 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Retro 4:45pm Planed Plant (4.005.00):Calendr Adfent 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Cwpwrdd Dillad 9:00pm 04 Wal 9:30pm Sioe Gelf 10:00pm Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

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Extinct

Pulling

In Your Dreams

Making it

Wales Tonight

itv1 8pm

BBC3 10.30pm

Channel 4 4.45am

Channel 4 6.05am

itv1 6pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Nobody’s Normal 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am My Life for Sale Lets work out how much my life is worth, say if someone hired a hitman to take me out. I do have all my own teeth so that’s £100, but my eyesight’s bad so minus £50 (if you wanted to sell them on the black market). I dont have any stocks or shares, and have a fiver in the bank but I do own Hunter from the Gladiators autograph. So if we add that all up and multiply it by 4.6 % my life is worth well over four trillion pounds!

12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3:50pm Pinky and the Brain 4:10pm SMart 4:35pm The Crust 5:00pm Young Dracula 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Super Vets 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Holby City 9:00pm Potters Bar: The Truth 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Dragon’s Eye 11:05pm Drama Connections 11:35pm This Week 12:20am A Way of Life 2:00am Oz and James’s Big Wine Adventures 2:30am Simon Schama’s Power of Art

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Arctic 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Let’s Write Non-Fiction 10:50am Testament: the Bible in Animation 11:20am English Express 11:50am Emotional Literacy What the fuck is that? “I didn’t just read Pingu’s Great Adventure in Snowland, it made me cry?” “I didn’t just think The Da Vinci Code was rubbish I used it to blugeon some pigeons to death?” 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Great British Christmas Menu 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 8:00pm Coast My flatmate was watching this last night, it was about the buoyancy of ships. True fact. Rubbish show.

9:00pm Monty Don: Growing Out of Trouble 10:00pm Bank Robbery!

10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Cricket: The Ashes 12:00am Snooker: UK Championship 12:50am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Magic Key 4:00am Magic Key A song about a magic key “ Oh magic key, come play with me, sugar with tea?” The end. Ivor Novello to me.

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Vanessa’s Real Lives 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:30pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:40pm The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel’s Boys 4:30pm Drake and Josh 5:00pm EXTINCT: The Quiz 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The First Fifteen 8:00pm EXTINCT Big train sketch with Simon Pegg anyone? The one where he is campaigning about tigers, and a women says: “What are they?”

Simon: “It’s the bengal tiger, there’s only eighty left in the world.”

Woman: “They look dangerous..”

Simon: “Yer I know, thats why we’re campaigning to kill them, put them in a massive bath and fill it with tar. Made the panda extinct last week, it was great.”

No? Just me?

9:00pm Strictly Confidential 10:00pm Ladette to Lady: End of Term Report A girl I knew from school was on this, Elizabeth Weir. People called her Elizabeth Weird. Clever that.

10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Cool Cymru 11:30pm Free Ride 12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am Britain’s Best Back Gardens

6:05am Making It Oh my god I have been doing this for nearly a year now.

Not this page, that would be stupid, TV pages in general. Has one of you brought me flowers? No. We have been through the up’s and down’s together and none of you have so much as annonymously sent me a Kinder egg.

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:20am Will and Grace 8:50am Frasier 9:20am Frasier 9:45am ER 10:35am ER 11:30am King of the Hill 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:30pm Grudge Match 1:40pm Prince Valiant 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder 8:00pm Prince Eddy: The King We Never Had I have always suspected that he was a little bit fruity.

9:00pm Three Kings At War 10:00pm Secretary 12:05am Hollyoaks: In the City 1:05am Duratta 2:50am ER 3:40am From Nose to Mouth 3:55am Admission Impossible 4:55am In Your Dreams 5:10am Countdown 5:55am Inuk I went to the clothes show at the weekend and brought myself some nice things, and laughed at the hundreds of girls wearing little shorts in the middle of winter in the vain hope of getting

6:00am Elmo’s World 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Franny’s Feet 7:35am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Thomas & Friends 8:45am Old Bear Stories 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news and Ashes Special Report 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Baker’s Hawk 3:40pm Running against Time 5:30pm five news and Ashes Special Report 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news and Ashes Special Report 7:15pm Durga: The Goddess Comes to London 8:00pm At War with Next Door 9:00pm Build a New Life in the Country 10:00pm Criminal Minds 11:00pm Killer Instinct 12:00am John Barnes’ Football Night 1:00am The Great Big Quiz 4:00am Football Argentina Highlights 5:00am Dutch Football Model spotted. I think the highlight was when I was looking at a very cool stall and one of the tarted up clones looked at the clothes, then me and said: “Look at all these greebo clothes.” Who says greebo anymore?

For those who don’t know greebo can loosely be translated to goth/grunger/mosher, and was very popular in 2000.

7:00pm The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 7:30pm Runaways 8:00pm Dog Borstal 9:00pm Anthea Turner: Perfect Christmas 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Pulling Here’s some of my sure fire tips for pulling over the festive season ladies.

Tip One: Rohypnol Tip Two: Tell said boy you have some sweets/a puppy back at your house Tip Three: Do an Elle Robinson and pretend your dying of a terminal disease, everyone loves a bit of pity sex.

Tip Four: Go out and have a conversation with someone nice, discover they are made of cookie dough and cry.

11:00pm Tittybangbang2 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Anthea Turner: Perfect Christmas 1:25am Dog Borstal 2:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:25am Runaways

7:00pm Sounds of the Sixties 7:10pm The Avengers I can safely say in photos I look like a retarded criminal. I’m sure you will agree. 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Up Pompeii 9:00pm Voyages of Discovery 10:00pm The Cult of Blake’s Seven 10:30pm The Late Edition 11:00pm Mark Lawson Talks to Stephen King 12:00am Voyages of Discovery 1:00am The Late Edition 1:30am The Cult of Blake’s Seven It’s hailing. I’m scared. Hold me. 2:00am Mark Lawson Talks to Stephen King 3:00am Voyages of Discovery My love life has gone a bit Jeremy Kyle of late, which has meant my music has mostly been contemplative melancholy...rubbish. Mostly Jason Mraz on repeat, with a little bit of Amy Millan mixed in with some Damien Rice. Last week I was all “Blood Brothers yeh! Rock” etc... But in my old age my taste this week has been for the simpler things in life, like cups of Bovril.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop’s Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am ATOM 7:55am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Xtra Factor 9:00pm Get Me Out Of Here Changed My Life 10:00pm The British Comedy Awards 2006 11:30pm Intolerable Cruelty 1:25am ITV Play: Playdate 4:00am ITV Play: Playalong

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with James Morrison 8:00am Wake Up with James Morrison 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Scousers 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm Scrubs 2:30pm Scrubs 3:00pm Young, Sexy and... Cookin’ 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Switched 8:00pm Friends 9:00pm Scrubs 10:00pm Blunder 10:30pm Star Stories 11:05pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 11:35pm Smack the Pony 12:05am Derren Brown: The Heist 1:10am Star Stories 1:35am 8 Out of 10 Cats 2:05am Smack the Pony 2:30am The Chris Isaak Show 3:15am Blunder 3:40am Young, Sexy and...

Cookin’ me some dinner.

4:20am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:25am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:20am Will and Grace 8:50am Frasier 9:15am Frasier 9:40am Bless This House 11:15am Deal or No Deal 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 12:40pm Pingu 12:45pm Tomos A’i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm How Music Works with Howard Goodall 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Tylwyth Od Timmy 4:35pm Planed Plant 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm OFN 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Carolau O Langollen: Miloedd O Leisiau’r Nadolig 9:30pm Bandit 10:00pm The Family Who Vanished 11:00pm Wife Swap 12:00am Secret Millionaire 1:00am The True Voice of Murder

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

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DECEMBER.11.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Big Cat Week

Big Cat Week

BBC1 7.30pm

BBC1 7.30pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Nobody’s Normal 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am My Life for Sale 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Murder, She Wrote 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3:50pm Dennis the Menace 4:10pm Pinky and the Brain 4:30pm The Basil Brush Show 4:55pm The Slammer 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm A Question of Sport 7:30pm Big Cat Week 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm My Family 9:00pm Have I Got News for You 9:30pm Jam and Jerusalem 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 11:35pm Pink Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon Live 12:25am The Defender 2:00am Joins BBC News 24 This is a sad fuckin’ song, we’ll be lucky if I don’t bust out crying. How does it feel?

Your night light, your curling iron lit up by the sweat of others. For many’s the day but not from November to May. The floor is littered with woodchips and apple cores and hulls of acorns. There is a chattering sound.

7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Batfink 7:15am Witch 7:40am Fergus McPhail 8:05am Serious Arctic Diary 8:30am CBeebies:The Koala Brothers 8:40am Underground Ernie 8:55am Brum 9:05am Balamory 9:30am Doodle Do 9:50am Step Inside 10:00am Barnaby Bear 10:15am Our Planet 10:30am Razzledazzle 10:50am Words and Pictures 11:00am Words and Pictures 11:10am English Express 11:40am See You, See Me 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:30pm Snooker: UK Championship 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Great British Christmas Menu 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 8:00pm Johnny Kingdom: A Year On Exmoor 8:30pm Gardeners’ World Specials: Best of 2006 9:00pm Show Jumping: The Olympia Puissance 10:00pm QI 10:30pm Newsnight 11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:30pm Cricket: The Ashes 12:00am Snooker: UK Championship 12:50am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Open University and General Interest:Ever Wondered about Food? 2:30am The Romans in Britain 3:00am The Romans in Britain 3:30am The Romans in Britain 4:00am Siena Cathedral 4:50am Ever Wondered? 5:00am In the Shadow of Vesuvius

7:00pm The House of Tiny Tearaways with Tanya Byron 8:00pm Honey We’re Killing the Kids 9:00pm Torchwood 9:50pm Torchwood: Declassified 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Tittybangbang2 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Bashing Booze Birds 12:55am Torchwood 1:45am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:45am Anthea Turner: Perfect Christmas ...The constellations and Comiskey’s lights. Two old friends in the night who always knew they would if they could meet one last time in the old neighborhood. Hey wait a minute things ain’t looking that good. Its getting quiet and the light’s getting dim. This ain’t like no place I’ve ever been. What kind of trouble am I in? Oh Gwen, here they come again, It’s nobody’s Blues. Here they come again.

7:00pm Voyages of Discovery 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Ray Gosling: Moving On 9:00pm Legends: Julie London - The Lady’s Not a Vamp 10:00pm Rock Goes to College: Siouxsie and the Banshees 10:30pm QI 11:00pm Don’t Watch That Watch This! 11:30pm The Avengers 12:20am Legends: Julie London - The Lady’s Not a Vamp 1:20am Anne Robinson Talks to Kirsty Wark 1:50am Don’t Watch That Watch This! 2:20am Voyages of Discovery 3:20am Legends: Julie London The Lady’s Not a Vamp I stood on the 66 Highway. Wysteria, Magnolia beside the green line track said “Don’t Come Back”. I found myself standing on the mountain beneath my full moon heart. John Henry split this heart, split this full moon heart. Swing the heaviest hammer you got, hit this one out of the park. He says boy what you going to do with your heart in two

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Big Cat Week

Big Cat Week

Big Cat Week

BBC1 7.30pm

BBC1 7.30pm

BBC1 7.30pm

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Vanessa’s Real Lives 1:25pm Regional News & Weather 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm The Price Is Right 2:30pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:30pm Jim Jam and Sunny 3:40pm The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 3:50pm Tricky Quickies 4:00pm Horrid Henry 4:15pm Bel’s Boys 4:30pm The New Worst Witch 5:00pm EXTINCT: The Quiz Because they were squirrels; real squirrels. And there were thousands. This isn’t some kind of metaphor, Goddamn, this is real.

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Last Christmas on the High Street: Tonight 8:30pm Agatha Christie’s Marple 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Dead Long Enough 12:40am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am 60 Minute Makeover 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News We speak in the store, I’m a sensitive bore, you seem markedly more and I’m oozing surprise. But it’s late in the day and you’re well on your way, what was golden went gray and I’m suddenly shy. And the gatherin’ floozies afford to be choosy and all sneezing darkly in the dimming divide. I have read the right books to interpret your

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Frasier 9:50am ER 10:40am Without a Trace 11:30am King of the Hill 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Headland 1:20pm King of Queens 1:50pm Yangtse Incident 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:35pm Unreported World 8:00pm Unanimous 9:00pm The Simpsons 9:30pm The Simpsons 10:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:30pm Blunder 11:05pm The Russell Brand Show 11:50pm My Name Is Earl 12:20am The Album Chart Show 12:50am The Green Room 1:20am World Cup Snowboard 3:15am The Family Who Vanished 4:15am Admission Impossible 5:15am Countdown looks, you were knocking me down with the palm of your eye. This was unlike the story it was written to be, I was riding its back when it used to ride me. And we were galloping manic to the mouth of the source, we were swallowing panic in the face of its force. And I am blue, I am blue and unwell, made me bolt like a horse. Now it’s done watch it go. you’ve changed some water ruin from the snow, am I so dear?

6:00am Elmo’s World 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am MechaNick 6:50am Hi-5 7:20am Franny’s Feet 7:35am The Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Funky Valley 8:30am Thomas & Friends 8:45am Old Bear Stories 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news and Ashes Special Report 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Mrs ‘arris Goes to Paris 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm No Higher Love 5:30pm five news and Ashes Special Report 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm In the Grid 7:00pm five news and Ashes Special Report Do I run rare? You’ve changed some. Peach, plum, pear.

7:30pm Pimp My Ride UK 8:00pm World’s Strongest Man Super Series 9:00pm Blue Streak 10:55pm The Terminator 12:55am The Great Big Quiz 5:35am Wildlife SOS Gwendolyn I wonder what you’d’ve called them. I think a name you might choose is Nobody’s Blues.

You see when you are just a kid, they think you won’t remember what they did. They think you won’t remember, but you did. Then you learned how to say “Everything you love tries to get away, everything you love finally does.”

Its finally looking good up there our skyline. See how if fits right in there with heaven.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:25am Mopatop’s Shop 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am ATOM 7:55am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Montel Williams Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:25pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Judge Judy 6:30pm The New Adventures of Superman 7:30pm Xtra Factor: Aftermath 8:30pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 9:30pm Intolerable Cruelty 11:25pm Coronation Street 11:55pm Trinny and Susannah Undress 12:55am ITV Play: Playdate

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:30am Wake Up with... Nas 8:00am Wake Up with... Nas 8:30am Whatever... You Want 9:00am Whatever... You Want 10:00am Whatever... You Want 11:00am Nothing but... Scots 12:00pm E4 Music: Uninterrupted 1:00pm Freshly Squeezed Extra 2:00pm Scrubs 2:30pm Scrubs 3:00pm Young, Sexy and... Spoiled 4:00pm Switched 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm Switched 8:00pm Friends 8:25pm Friends 9:00pm Supernanny 10:00pm A Knight’s Tale 12:30am Unanimous: The Fallout 1:00am Porn: A Family Business 1:35am Supernanny 2:35am The Chris Isaak Show 3:20am Porn: A Family Business 3:50am Young, Sexy and... Spoiled 4:30am Switched 4:55am Switched 5:15am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 7:55am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Will and Grace 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Grudge Match 9:35am George and Mildred 11:15am Deal or No Deal 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Dwdlam 12:45pm Penblwyddi! 12:50pm Penblwydd Pwy 1:00pm Tecwyn y Tractor 1:15pm A Place in the Sun 1:45pm Deal or No Deal 2:30pm Countdown 3:15pm Countdown 4:00pm Beyblade 4:25pm O Na! Y Morgans 4:45pm Calendr Adfent 4:50pm Ffeil 5:00pm The New Paul O’Grady Show 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Uned 5 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Galeri Gwerin 9:30pm Naw Tan Naw 10:00pm Cwpan Heineken 11:05pm The Simpsons 11:35pm Out of Time 1:30am Unanimous 2:25am Hollyoaks: In the City 3:15am Russell Brand’s Got Issues 3:55am Late Night Shopping

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35

SATURDAY

DECEMBER.11.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Best Ever Worst Auditions 2 6.00pm

Cricket: The Ashes

Match of the Day

Noel Gallagher

Knight Rider 2010

BBC2 11.00pm

BBC1 10.10pm

Channel 4 11.45pm

five 5.45pm

6:00am Breakfast 10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am Great British Christmas Menu 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:10pm Football Focus 1:00pm Grandstand 1:05pm Racing from Ascot 2:20pm Snooker: UK Championship 4:30pm Wales on Saturday 5:40pm BBC News; Weather 6:00pm Strictly Come Dancing 7:00pm Robin Hood 7:45pm The National Lottery: In It to Win It 8:35pm Casualty 9:25pm Strictly Come Dancing 9:50pm BBC News; Weather 10:10pm Match of the Day 11:30pm Mimic 1:10am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 2:15am Joins BBC News 24 There really should be more on TV at the weekend. I say this everytime I have to write the listings for Saturday and Sunday. But look how much I have to write. Its a fooking joke.

I don’t even care that I say this every week, because moaning about this means that I can write inane bollocks that fills up the page really quickly. The copying and pasting lyrics method probably takes longer than just rambling about cock n balls. Hmm... Yeah so tonight I’m going to see Jack and His Giant Beanstalk. My housemate wrote and directed it and it’s really funny.

Ollie plays Noel Edmonds and has to wear purple tights and put socks in his pants to make his penis look big. He actually looks like Noel Edmonds. Lots of people have said this to him and it unsurprisingly upsets him.

6:00am CBeebies:Tikkabilla 6:30am Teletubbies 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am Astro Boy 7:30am Dennis the Menace 7:55am BB3B 8:15am Zombie Hotel 8:40am What’s New Scooby Doo? 9:00am TMi 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm Switch 12:45pm Small Town Gardens 1:00pm Film 2006 with Jonathan Ross 1:30pm Star Trek 2:20pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 3:05pm Star Trek: The Next Generation 3:45pm Monk 4:30pm Snooker: UK Championship 5:30pm What the Papers Say Review 2006 6:10pm One Man and His Dog: The Heats 6:50pm Planet Earth 7:50pm The Culture Show 8:35pm TOTP 2 9:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 10:30pm QI 11:00pm Cricket: The Ashes 11:40pm The Electric Proms Local legend Spenser McGarry is taking part in the electric proms. By the time you read this the gig will have happened and you won’t even care anyway.

1:10am The Culture Show 1:55am Joins BBC News 24 Right so let’s think. What else can I ramble on about? Erm, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see, let me see. Erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm ermerm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm erm. I don’t know.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:20am Pocoyo 6:30am Little Einsteins 6:55am Dora the Explorer 7:20am Lilo and Stitch 7:50am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:20am Biker Mice from Mars 8:50am Avatar 9:25am CITV:Shuriken School 9:55am CITV:The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 10:05am CITV:Skyland 10:35am Drake and Josh 11:05am Snow Day 12:40pm ITV News; Weather 12:45pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:50pm Agatha Christie’s Garden: Murder and Mystery in Devon 1:50pm Evil under the Sun 4:00pm EXTINCT: The Quiz 5:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:15pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:30pm All New You’ve Been Framed!

6:00pm Best Ever Worst Auditions 2 7:00pm The X Factor: The Final 8:30pm EXTINCT: The Final 9:30pm The X Factor - The Final Result 10:30pm Parkinson 11:35pm ITV News 11:55pm ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:35am Trading Treasures 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News Despite ITV having the shittest programmes on TV, I never have to write much which is nice. I like. Its depressing to think that I still have about 10 columns to write in. I have to do Sunday as well. You may notice that I’ve done most of this weeks TV. This is because I had a night at home last Wednesday with Harriet. Which was nice. I like.

‘6:00am The Hoobs 6:25am The Hoobs 6:50am The Treacle People 7:00am Red Bull Air Race 2006 7:30am Freesports on 4 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:T4 Movie Special 9:20am T4:Chancers 10:25am T4:Popworld 11:20am T4:Friends 11:50am T4:Friends 12:25pm T4:T4 Movie Special 1:00pm T4:Charmed 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Haydock Park, Newcastle and Lingfield Park 4:00pm Selling Houses Special 5:00pm Star Trek III: the Search for Spock 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:30pm Toulouse Lautrec: The Full Story 9:30pm Absolute Power 11:45pm 4 Music:Noel Gallagher: Sitting Here in Silence 12:50am 4 Music:4Music in Session: Damien Rice 1:20am 4 Music:The Album Chart Show - The Charlatans Special 1:50am 4 Music:KT Tunstall: Five Go To Skye Shit, there’s loads of awful music programmes on tonight.

Makes me want to stick sharp objects up my arse. Well it doesn’t but it’s pretty fucking rubbish. Who gives a fuck about The Charlatans, KT Tunstall and Noel Gallagher? I don’t, and if you do then you should probably reconsider your life and everything about yourself.

One of The Charlatans is from Northwich. Where? Exactly. Who gives a shit? Didn’t care 10 years ago, don’t care now. 2:05am The Sin Eater 3:50am The Boys 5:15am Countdown

6:00am Sunrise 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:10am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:25am Franny’s Feet 7:35am Old Bear Stories 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:05am Jane and the Dragon 9:35am Blue Water High 10:05am Hercules: Legendary Journeys 11:05am Harry and Cosh 11:30am What Makes Me Happy 11:40am Built for the Kill: Predators of the Deep 12:10pm Columbo: Suitable for Framing 1:50pm Columbo: Playback 3:25pm A Night At the Museum with McFly 3:55pm Snowball Express 5:45pm Knight Rider 2010 7:20pm five news and sport 7:35pm NCIS 8:30pm NCIS 9:25pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:25pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:25pm Bram Stoker’s Dracula 1:45am The Great Big Quiz 5:35am Wildlife SOS Sometimes in my life I take all my hopes and dreams, all my ambitions and all my aspirations, and I give them all up, trade them all in, put them all to one side, for a springboard, and a pair of shorts, and a plain white t-shirt, and the ability to do a perfect backflip. I think if I could do it the seconds would feel like hours to me. It would be like medicine, staying with me during the days and during the weeks when I’m just pushing on

7:00pm World Cup Outtakes 7:30pm World Cup Outtakes 8:00pm The Real Hustle 8:30pm The Real Hustle 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm Little Britain 10:00pm Torchwood 10:50pm Torchwood: Declassified 11:40pm Torchwood 12:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:30am Drunk and Disorderlies 2:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:30am The Real Hustle Just getting by. And it’s funny how your life is. It’s funny how you can spend years and years building up layer by layer, and then throw it all away in a second. And I’m not all what I used to be. And although I’ve more or less accepted it, although I’m no longer trying to change it, I still regret it. I regret it every day. I’m not all what I used to be. Maybe it’s Scotland I hate. I know I hate so many things about it.

7:00pm Choir of the Year 8:30pm Abdication: A Very British Coup 9:30pm The Cinema Show 10:30pm Carandiru 12:50am Carandiru.doc 1:45am Abdication: A Very British Coup 2:45am Choir of the Year I hate the way punishments are the heart of everything. I hate the way parents beat their children. I hate the way everything always has to be someone’s fault, even though some things just happen. Some things just happen. I hate the way people bring up their children to be exactly the same as they are, just so they can justify the way they’ve lived their lives.

I hate the way we expect to fail, and then we fail, and then we get bitter because we failed. Maybe it’s Scotland I hate. Maybe Scotland’s got nothing to do with it. Maybe all this has got nothing to do with anything. But I know that I would give it all up, trade it all in for a springboard and a pair of shorts and a plain white t-shirt

6:00am Ni Ni’s Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald’s Farm 8:25am Mags and Mo 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:50am The Wheels on the Bus 9:00am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:10pm Coronation Street Omnibus 2:35pm Movies Now 2:50pm The Xtra Factor: The Winner’s Story 2005 3:50pm Xtra Factor: After the X 5:00pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 6:00pm Nanny 911 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm Planet’s Funniest Animals 8:30pm Xtra Factor:Live 9:30pm Pete Burns’ Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares 10:30pm Xtra Factor Finale 11:30pm Ghosthunting With Girls Aloud 1:30am The X Factor - The Final Result 2:30am ITV Play: Playdate 3:40am Emmerdale Omnibus and a perfect backflip. For a springboard, a pair of shorts, a plain white t-shirt and

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 9:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 11:00am Nothing but... Beyonce 12:00pm Nothing but... Justin Timberlake 1:00pm Nothing but...

Robbie Williams 2:00pm The Album Chart Show 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:35pm Friends 6:05pm Wife Swap 7:05pm Invasion 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm 50 Greatest Comedy Films 12:05am Ricky Gervais: Politics 1:40am Wife Swap 2:45am The Chris Isaak Show 3:30am Invasion 4:10am The Album Chart Show 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched 5:20am Switched a perfect backflip. A springboard, and a pair of shorts, and a plain white-tshirt and a perfect backflip. I’d give it all up for that. I’d give it all up for that. I’d give it all up for that.

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Red Bull Air Race 2006 7:30am Freesports on 4 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Futurama 9:20am U2 Live in Milan 10:20am Charmed 11:10am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 12:00pm Revenge of the Pink Panther 1:50pm Grudge Match 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Haydock Park, Newcastle and Lingfield Park 4:00pm T4 Movie Special 4:30pm Deal or No Deal 5:20pm Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan 7:20pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 7:55pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 8:10pm Noson Lawen 9:10pm Cwpan Heineken 10:10pm Forrest Gump 12:45am Blunder 1:15am Ghostbusters 3:10am Stand by Me 4:40am KOTV A springboard, and a pair of shorts, and a plain white t-shirt, and a perfect backflip. I’d give it all up for that. I’d give it all up for that. I’d give it all up for that. I’d give it all up for that.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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36 gairrhydd

SUNDAY

DECEMBER.11.2006 TV@gairrhydd.COM

The Death Squads Channel 4 12.25am

Jackanory

Sunday Grandstand

Power Rangers SPD

BBC1 3.40pm

BBC2 12.15pm

ITV1 7.25am

6:00am Breakfast 7:35am Match of the Day 9:00am Sunday AM 10:00am What the World Needs Now 11:00am Countryfile 12:00pm ‘Allo ‘Allo!

12:30pm Last of the Summer Wine Christmas Special 1:00pm Keeping Up Appearances 1:35pm EastEnders 3:30pm Lifeline 3:40pm Jackanory: Muddle Earth 4:25pm Doctor Who 5:25pm Robin Hood 6:10pm Songs of Praise 6:45pm Antiques Roadshow 7:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 8:00pm Incredible Animal Journeys: Wild Goose Chase 9:00pm Born Equal 10:25pm BBC News; Weather 10:40pm Match of the Day 2 11:40pm The French Connection II 1:45am Sign Zone:Holby City 2:45am Sign Zone:What Not to Wear 3:45am Sign Zone:Antiques Roadshow 4:35am Joins BBC News 24 Right, just because it’s Sunday it doesn’t mean you can put less programmes on. See I moaned about this on Saturday but I’m writing this. If you’re bored of reading it, don’t bother reading. I’m listening to ballboy. I already used ballboy lyrics on Saturday but I’m going to use them again here. Capiche? God this computer is so fucking slow, its doing my fucking head in. It can’t keep up with my typing. So I type ahead and then I have to wait for it to catch up. When it’s catching up it looks like magic cos its writing but I’m not typing. Cool huh?

No, it’s fucking stupid.

6:00am CBeebies:Tikkabilla 6:30am Teletubbies 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am BB3B 7:30am Smile 10:00am Animal Park 10:30am Waterloo Bridge 12:15pm Sunday Grandstand 12:20pm Ski Sunday 1:00pm Show Jumping: Olympia World Cup 2:30pm Snooker: UK Championship 5:40pm Robins of Eden 5:50pm Wild Wensleydale 6:20pm One Man and His Dog: The Finals 7:00pm Strictly Come Dancing 8:00pm Snooker: UK Championship 11:00pm Cricket: The Ashes 11:40pm Shadow of the Vampire 1:05am Curdled 2:30am Joins BBC News 24 And the world turns, and the world turns, and the world turns, and the world turns. Elvis sang that and ever since I’ve been young I’ve had a dream about going into space. Lying there in the darkness and staring down watching continents drift by and come round again. Drift by and come round again. I always want to launch myself from space and dive down through the atmosphere through the clouds and the air and swoop over the heads of people walking and shopping and talking in Moscow or Paris or Rome or wherever.

I’d be moving so fast I’d just have time to see their astonished faces before I was off again, back off to my space base, which could be anything really; an asteroid, a moon or a spaceship.

It’s never been that clearly defined in my dreams. But its not important. Just to be in space would be the important

6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:25am Power Rangers SPD 7:55am Totally Spies! 8:30am Emperor’s New School 9:05am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am Art Attack 9:50am Planet Sketch 10:00am The Championship 11:00am The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 12:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:05pm Cathedral 1:05pm The X Factor: The Final 2:35pm The X Factor - The Final Result 3:35pm Twister 5:25pm Soccer Sunday 5:55pm The Road that Changed Wales 6:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:40pm ITV News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Heartbeat 9:00pm Driving Lessons 11:00pm ITV News 11:10pm The South Bank Show 12:10am Cathedral 1:05am Faith and Music 1:55am ITV Play: The Mint 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News thing. Just to be in space would be the important thing.

And I’ve spoken to lots of people about my desire to go to space and they think it’s stupid. They say things like, what about the training? I hear its very hard.

I say hard? Hard my arse. A couple of assault courses and a maths test. A piece of piss. I’ve suffered worse than that. I’ve suffered much worse than that. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with people. I think they’ve gone

6:00am The Hoobs 6:25am The Hoobs 6:50am The Treacle People 7:00am Trans World Sport 7:55am World Cup Skiing 8:55am T4:Popworld 9:45am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:25pm T4:Chancers 2:15pm T4:Friends 2:45pm T4:Smallville: Superman the Early Years 3:45pm T4:Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:45pm Wild Thing I Love You 5:50pm Deal or No Deal 6:40pm Codex 7:40pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm The Core 10:30pm Buffalo Soldiers 12:25am The Death Squads 1:25am 4 Music:The Album Chart Show 1:50am Freesports on 4 2:45am Freesports 3:40am KOTV 4:05am World Cup Skiing 5:00am Grudge Match 5:15am Countdown simultaneously soft or stupid. Or they’re living in fear, but I dunno why. There’s nothing to fear about space. Space is brilliant. Space is brilliant. And I’ve told people I’d pay a million pounds to go to space, which is true. I’d pay a million pounds or more to go for an hour or even half an hour, although a day would be better. A day in space. That would be something. A day in space. That would be something. And I speak to people sometimes and I ask them, well what would you do if you had a million pounds? If you wouldn’t take it to space what would you do with it? They say I dunno buy a house or a car, maybe take a holiday somewhere. A holiday where? I ask them. Oh Spain, Egypt, see the

6:00am Elmo’s World 6:15am Rolie Polie Olie 6:40am Sailor Sid 6:45am MechaNick 6:55am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:05am Harry and his Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7:20am Old Bear Stories 7:30am Franny’s Feet 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Franklin 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:30am The Secret of Eel Island 9:45am Demolition Dad 10:00am Round the Twist 10:30am Hospital 11:00am Snobs 11:35am Michaela’s Wild Challenge 12:05pm A Different Life 12:35pm Revelations 1:10pm five news update 1:20pm Monster Moves 2:25pm Moby Dick 4:55pm five news and sport 5:15pm Home Alone 2: Lost in New York 7:25pm McFly Video Exclusive 7:30pm Jackie Chan’s First Strike 9:00pm In the Line of Fire 11:30pm World’s Wildest Police Videos 12:30am Adventure Triathlon 12:50am Race and Rally UK 1:10am NFL Live 4:45am Football Argentina 5:30am Motorsport Mundial pyramids maybe. See the pyramids maybe. When they say this to me I look at them. I look them straight in the eye and I wait for just a few seconds. Just so they know what I’m going to say is going to be important. What I’m going to say is going to be important. And then I say, what better place could you go to than space? What’s a better holiday than that? Think about lying there when you’re a hundred

7:00pm Robin Hood 7:45pm Torchwood: Declassified 8:00pm Honey We’re Killing the Kids 9:00pm The Real Hustle: The Twelve Scams of Christmas 10:00pm Torchwood 10:50pm Pulling 11:20pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:20am The Real Hustle: The Twelve Scams of Christmas 1:15am Torchwood 2:05am Torchwood: Declassified 2:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:50am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:20am Pulling a hundred and ten or whatever, looking back on your life and thinking, well what did I actually do? What did I actually achieve? Oh I saw the pyramids.

Big deal. You can apparently see those from space anyway. You can see all the rest of the blue and green globe twisting and turning below you. You can see the sun lighting up the moon. You can feel the stars shining down

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm Legends: Julie London - The Lady’s Not a Vamp 9:00pm Arena: Saints 10:10pm Saint Joan 11:55pm The Late Edition 12:25am Legends: Julie London - The Lady’s Not a Vamp 1:25am Arena: Saints 2:35am The Late Edition 3:05am Legends: Julie London - The Lady’s Not a Vamp upon your back. You dont get that in Egypt.

And you don’t get that at the pyramids.

And you don’t get that by pissing away your million pounds on something that everyone else can do if they save up long enough. And the world turns. And the world turns. And the world turns.

And the world turns. Elvis sang that.

I’m glad that song is so long. Means I have to write less which is good. The pizza is going to arrive soon. After I’ve had that I’m gonna head off and watch the panto. I’m having my 2nd can of Red Bull of the day.

I think it’ll probably make me have a

6:00am Ni Ni’s Treehouse 6:25am Mopatop’s Shop 6:35am Engie Benjy 6:45am Fun Song Factory 6:55am Pocoyo 7:10am Fun Song Factory 7:25am Power Rangers Space Patrol Delta 7:50am Totally Spies! 8:20am Emperor’s New School 9:00am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am Planet’s Funniest Animals 9:55am The Xtra Factor: The Winner’s Story 2005 11:05am The X Factor: One Year On 12:05pm Xtra Factor: Xcess All Areas 1:05pm Happy Feet: European Premiere Special 1:35pm Movies Now 1:50pm Emmerdale Omnibus 4:35pm Coronation Street Omnibus 7:00pm The X Factor: The Final 8:30pm The X Factor - The Final Result 9:30pm Xtra Factor Finale 10:30pm Entourage 11:00pm The Office: An American Workplace 11:30pm Coronation Street 12:00am Entourage

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 9:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 10:00am The All Star Wake Up Call 11:00am Nothing but... Britney 12:00pm Nothing but... Scissor Sisters 1:00pm Nothing but... Girls Aloud 2:10pm Popworld 3:00pm Young, Sexy and... Cookin’ 4:00pm Girls Aloud: Off the Record 4:30pm Girls Aloud: Off the Record 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 5:55pm Alice in Wonderland 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Scrubs 9:30pm Scrubs 10:00pm Blunder 10:35pm Blunder 11:05pm Hollyoaks: In the City 12:05am Girls Aloud: Off the Record 12:40am Girls Aloud: Off the Record 1:10am Young, Sexy and...

Cookin’ 2:05am The Chris Isaak Show 3:00am Blunder 3:25am Blunder 3:50am Scrubs 4:15am Popworld 4:55am Switched 5:15am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Trans World Sport 7:55am World Cup Skiing 8:55am Grudge Match 9:00am Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:30am Charmed 12:30pm Yr Wythnos 1:00pm Maniffesto 1:30pm Rownd a Rownd 2:00pm Rownd a Rownd 2:30pm Codex 3:30pm Codex 4:30pm Cwpwrdd Dillad 5:00pm 04 Wal 5:30pm Newyddion 5:35pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 7:30pm Cefn Gwlad 8:00pm Carolau o Llangollen 9:00pm Angylion 10:00pm Newyddion 10:15pm The Core 12:40am Touching the Void 2:30am Do Bigha Zameen 4:45am Unreported World heart attack. It feels wrong drinking it. I don’t have any problems smoking 10-20 cigarettes a day though. Saying that, I’ve not had a ciggy yet today. That will probably all change later if I go to the pub. I hope other people want to go to the City Arms. It feels like I’ve not been out for ages although I went out on Saturday and had 2 pints last night.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Demolition Dad five 9.45am

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02920 229977

gairrhydd

37

PROBLEM PAGE

DECEMBER.11.2006 PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

The de Ville’s Advocate This Week: I’ve got pros in different area codes

Bullied by minors - how do I get my own back?

Dear Grace,

Grace’s

Christmas Speech I might as well indulge the more sentimentally retarded of you by making this page a Christmassy cornucopia of seasonal cheer. I’m no fool. I may be getting on a bit but my finger is permanently on the buzzard and a little bird tells me that this time of year reminds us of what is missing in our lives. Some of us fill shoeboxes with tinned peaches and cheap plastic toys from Woolworths and send them to the needy in an attempt to satiate the gaping void in their souls. Others may seek solace in religion or base pleasures such as cricket or prostitution. Those who combine all of the above are clearly beyond my help but for the rest of the mildly flawed among you there’s light at the end of the tunnel. 2006 may not have been the most joyous of years but there are lessons to be learned. There’s only one original Sugababe left, the sun is going to KILL US ALL and the cold war is once again erm, rather chilly. Birds are going to KILL US ALL, planes are evil and even Superman has returned.

I predict that 2007 will be the Year of the Russian. This is very exciting, as I’m rather fond of vodka and Roman Abramovich (together, of course). The next Sugababe will be Russian, pursuits such as Roulette will be adopted with zeal and Orthodox beards will be BIG in spring/summer 2007, trust me. You heard it here first - buy a Cossack hat and dance like a spastic.

Anus Horribillus: Lionel Richie always occupied a special place in my heart after his painful experiences with a blind sculptor and a daughter who looked like Skeletor. Imagine my dismay when I read that he cannot abide cats! ( Shocking - I KNOW!) Here’s a handy cut-out-and-keep protest badge. Stick it on your fridge; put it on your car; pin it to your jumper or sew it to your cat.

We must make a stand against this blatant attempt to incite feline hatred. Join me in my protest against the giant-mouthed R & B beast. And there’s no use pretending that you’re not Craig David’s dad, Li. How a man with a pet living on his own face can snub such a lovely animal is anyone’s guess.

BOYCOTT LIONEL RICHIE! I ......................................................................... declare that I will abstain from purchasing any Lionel Richie or the Commodores records or memorabilia until the aforementioned retracts his catphobic and defamatory statements.

Each boxing day we have to go round to my parent’s friend’s house for mince pies and mulled wine. I’m a huge fan of pies and wine, but after about five hours and quite a lot of alcohol, the party games are just too much to bear. I just want to let my hair down and enjoy the free refreshments, but I’m always expected to entertain the host’s children. Last year was really bad. I was feeling a little bit peaky after too much cold turkey, jelly and advocaat and wanted to have a little sleep to avoid any ill-effects.

Have you ever had to play the game that involves being wrapped in loo roll in a race against the clock? Well I was chosen as the “mummy” and ended up being sick while imprisoned in a toilet-tissue tomb. I

couldn’t see or move and yet I was still vomiting. There was nowhere for it to go and yet the little shits were still spinning me round until I lay on the floor like a leper in the advanced stages of disease. These children are out to get me. They install trip wires, chuck rotten fruit at me and call me names like “Fartface”. I know that sounds quite funny but after a while it gets quite upsetting. They’ve seriously been sent by the devil to ruin my festive mood. There’s no way I can get out of attending this gathering, yet I can’t face another year of being bullied by a gaggle of pre-pubescants.

Please help, it’s making me miserable.

A Downtrodden Humbug

Dear Downtrodden humbug, Believe me, I know how you feel. Christmas with my nephews and nieces will be about as much fun as AIDS, AND they’ve got scouse accents. Although I find some of my smaller relatives troublesome at times, deep down I’m rather found of them. It sounds to me like the children you speak of are hiding a distinct birthmark of three sixes somewhere on their body. Why would they victimise a helpless student? I think they’ve been exposed to an unnecessary level of Home Alone movies.

The damage has already been done. Sedatives are your friend, however these children are clearly not. Why not introduce the two and go about stuffing your fizzog in peace?

Grace xx

Present tense Dear Grace,

Dear Zelda,

What is the correct etiquette regarding bestowing Christmas gifts on a new partner? I’ve only just started going out with a new fella and don’t want to look like a keeno. But then again, I don’t want him to think that I’m a cold-hearted bitch. It’s really bugging me. What’s an acceptable amount to spend?

And what on earth should I get? I DON’T want to get him a Lynx gift set. I just know you’ll be able to offer a few pearls of wisdom.

It’s always a good idea to butter me up before asking me to dispense advice. If this is indeed your real name then I both envy and admire you.

However, I don’t respect your pathetic p r a t tling. It

Zelda

is quite apparent that this chap has not done anything to merit a large gaudy gift, although back in my day we used to add a fiver onto the value of the gift for each ‘base’ that was conquered, if you get my (snow)drift. By your choice of pen (scented felt tip) and the way you circle the dots on your ‘I’s and add a curly hook to the top of your ‘A’s, I deduce that you should be spending a total of around £60.

I hope this helps, Grace xxx

If you require any advice during the Christmas break, help is only a phonecall away. If the idea of calling The Samaritans feels a bit too dramatic and Denise Robertson is just a bit too erm, rubbish, then why not call the freephone carelines on the back of most packaging? I recommend the Timotei advice line for sympathetic impartial guidance. See you in the ‘Seven! Toodlepip!

gairrhydd

FIVEMINUTEFUN@gairrhydd.COM

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P.S. If you want to lose that christmas weight we recommended Carol Vorderman’s two week cabbage feast.

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Are you one of those people who looks longingly into other peoples front windows around Christmas time? Well look no further as Five Minute Fun have done all the necessary perving and innappropriate staring for you and we’re here to tell you how the ‘other half’ spend Christmas day. Shockingly, these days of politcal correctness gone mad, some people have the cheek to follow different religions and don’t give two titties about Jesus’ birthday. We have studied these people and here’s what we found out.

In - edible underwear, willy warmers, twice as nice vouchers, a year’s supply of edam, beer hats, teenage mutant hero turtles lunchbox, nipple tassels, a Mr T face transplant, ant farms, worm farms, bum worms, flea circuses, monkey butlers, chin bags, backscratcher, an all singing and dancing gerbil, a pig named Faustus, a bulldog called Pedro, a spongeman called Fernado, hand puppets, ear paint, George Clooney’s bellybutton fluff.

Happy Holidays!

Instead stay in to make a giant bagel and smear cream cheese on each other.

Contratulate your self on being a chosen one then invite over your Jewish chums to sing along to your new CD, Hebrew Hits volume 5.

Call the Mother (nosey old bint). Check the piggy bank to see if the relatives have given you enough for that nose job. Later, after another bagel, dance with the devil by breaking into the secret bacon stash.

Jedis Spend the morning talking to your Jedi friends through the meduim of the George Foreman.

In the aftenoon wallk out the motorway to play the blind car dodging game but theres no traffic, as everyone else is eating turkey.

Depressed, you head back to the house and eat a your way through Jabba the Hut.

Just cause ya’ mum said that doodle was a master piece doesn’t make you an artist. Let uncle Tony guide you...

I use (and d to be a black pirate )

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The alternitive Crimbo Guide

Jews Attempt to buy one of those hats that are clearly too small, but all the shops are shut.

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Due to Lapland’s massive student overdraft Santa has been sold off to Jimmy’s Midgets PLC who will be using midgets instead. Their PR person Mr Burble said “The smaller size of our work force will greatly increase chimney entry efficiency,”

Out - novelty socks, knitwear, WHSmith vouchers

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Under the Tree

Hart’s Art

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Don’t expect the usual tat this year...

Follow these guides for a alternative xmas.

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ACROSS 1 Mind your manners (6) 4 Connect (6) 7 Sketched (4) 8 Grotesque imitiation (8) 9 Embarrassed (7) 12 Severe discomfort (3) 14 Recess in wall (6) 15 Reward (6) 16 Free of moisture (3) 18 Give up (7) 22 Legitimate target (4,4) 23 Sea- rescue group (inits) (4) 25 Jam ingredient (6)

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DECEMBER.11.2006

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DOWN 1 Minder (9) 2 Social ranking (9) 3 Crowd actor (5) 4 Die down (5) 5 Rain heavily (4) 6 Ship,--- Sark (5) 10 Destruction, damage (5) 11 Low dull sound (5) 12 Crisp biscuit (6,3) 13 Medical practitioner(9) 17 Respond (5) 19 Speak at length (5) 20 Crawl, tread (5) 21 Melodic song (4)

Exhibit no. 5.35 - Geek by day

40 gairrhydd

GRAB

DECEMBER.11.2006 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

WIN! WIN WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

grab Christmas special

HE SEASON OF goodwill is already underway for music lovers thanks to Nokia, who have some great offers available in O2 stores and on O2.co.uk. And what better a present than the latest Nokia Xpress music phone to brighten up someone’s Christmas this year!

When you buy a selected Nokia phone you’ll get a free dual disc from a range of great artists, featuring a full album plus DVD footage. What’s more, you could also win a golden ticket giving you and a mate access to 20 of the best gigs and festivals for a whole year!

The latest Nokia 5300 Xpress music phone, as seen on the XFactor, is packed full of features.

Enjoy the fresh, compact design that feels good in your hand and the one-handed open slider with spring mechanism. Store up to 1,500 songs with 2GB memory card (sold separately). Access your music quickly and easily with the dedicated music keys. Take great photos and video with the 1.3megapixel camera with landscape mode and use it with your own headphones with the new 2.5mm Nokia AV connector This week, to celebrate these offers in conjunction with Nokia and O2, Grab is giving you the chance to win a fantastic music prize right now! We

have a brand new, top of the range Nokia 5300 music phone for one lucky reader, plus one runner up can also win a set of 10 dual discs from a wide range of artists.

To enter, all you have to do is answer the following question, and send it to the address at the top of the page: According to Nokia, what gets you talking? a. Dance b. Music c. Politics

Sexy santas

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S THE DRESSING up season is upon us once again, Dunbar costumes have generously offered you guys the chance to win a free fancy dress costume worth up to £30 from their online store www.dunbarcostumes.co.uk. Perfect for the seasonal celebrations!

The selection of costumes available from Dunbars is vast, ranging from traditional sexy santa costumes to comic book heroes. You can dress up as characters such as Scooby Doo, Kill Bill, Darth Varder, Fred Flinstone, a character from Little Britain, or one of Santa’s little helpers; the choice is yours!

All of the costumes at Dunbars are very detailed and reasonably priced, with free delivery on orders over £30. Dunbar Costumes also offer a fabulous student discount of 10% on all online orders! So if you are after a fancy dress costume to dazzle this Christmas and New Year then bag yourself a brilliant costume from Dunbars.

To win a free costume worth up to £30 all you have to do is email us with the answer to this ridiculously simple question: What is the name of Santa’s favourite reindeer? a. Richard b. Rudolph c. Randy

Happy New Year!

Music gets you talking T

H

AVE YOU GOT any plans for New Year’s Eve yet? If not then do not fear as we have the tickets to give away for the best New Year’s night in town. If you like your house heavy and breaks chunky then this is the New Years Eve Party for you.

Two of Cardiff's best loved club nights have teamed up to take over the Social on Sailsbury Road for one night only. With sets from Cool House and Sumo's very capable residents and a special guest appearance from Jean Jacques Smoothie, 2007 should go off with a bang.

If you fancy winning yourself two places on the guest list for this fantastic night out then just email us at the usual address with your details and you could have the best New Year’s Eve ever!

Butlers in the buff, on your wall

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UTLERS IN THE Buff have recently graced the gair rhydd news pages due to their X Factor-style auditions that were held in Cardiff, in a search to find new talent. And now grab are giving you the chance to win the Butlers in the Buff 2007 calender. A perfect saucy Christmas present!

The 2007 Calendar is on sale now and is available in all good retailers including Clinton Cards and Borders Bookshop. Or for £7.99 or you can order your copy on the website, www.butlersinthebuff.co.uk. It’s only £5 plus postage and packaging of £1.99. To order the calender you can email: Naomi@butlersinthebuff.co.uk or call 0117 377 5693 If you know someone who would love this saucy calender for Christmas then just email us at the usual address and you could be a winner!

gairrhydd

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GRAB

DECEMBER.11.2006 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WINN! WIN! N! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

Free film premiere BABEL FOLLOWS the story of Richard (Brad Pitt) and Sarah (Cate Blanchett) as tragedy strikes the married couple while on holiday in Morrocco. The story then unlocks six involving stories of different families, creating a mesmerising and emotional film that is set to wow the critics, and maybe even claim an Oscar.

Babel was shot in three continents and four languages, by acclaimed director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (21 Grams, Amores Perres).

Inarritu explores with shattering realism the nature of the barriers that seem to separate humankind. In doing so, he evokes the ancient concept of Babel and questions its modern day implications: the mistaken identities, misunderstandings and missed chances for communication that though often unseen, drive our contemporary lives.

Accommodation For Students and Paramount Vantage are giving five lucky winners the opportunity to win a pair of tickets to see an advance preview of Babel (cert 15), starring Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett and Gael Garcia Bernal on Monday January 15 2007 at the Cineworld, Mary

Ann Street, before the release date on the Friday January 19.

Just email us at the usual address.

For more information and, should you not be a winner, your chance to claim a pair of tickets, log on to www.accommodationforstudents.com and visit the Cardiff page.

Merry medieval mayhem

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...a note from grab Merry Christmas one and all. What a full festive stocking of goodies we have for you all this week. There’ll be no need to battle your way through the Cardiff shoppers after winning these wonderful prizes!

November winners included: JINGA PATEL who is set to dance along to Merchants of Bollywood, KATIE KENNEDY, INES SOLE and JAMES JOHNSON who are waiting for some rather fetching Violent Veg TShirts, VICTORIA LANE’s friends had a lovely time at the Clotheshow Live last weekend, and ED GLEAVE will be getting ready for festive nights out with his Ministry of Sound albums.

We look forward to bringing you more and more prizes in the the new year. Look out for a DVD player giveaway and something special from both Will Ferrell and Napoleon Dynamite.

Have a great Christmas, from Santa’s little helpers X.

UST IN time for Christmas, Sega has launched the greatest strategy game of all time, which would make the greatest present of all time for a brother, or even for yourself to get into - to avoid all work over the Christmas holidays.

The fourth instalment of the multi-million selling PC strategy franchise, Total War evolves the genre to a whole new level with the most epic and cinematic 3D battles ever seen on PC. The eagerly anticipated Medieval II: Total War, is the follow up to one of the most critically acclaimed PC games of all time, Rome: Total War. Developed by The Creative Assembly, Medieval II: Total War, the fourth instalment of the multi-million selling Total War strategy franchise, evolves the genre to a whole new level, with the most epic and cinematic 3D battles ever seen on PC. Set in the darkest and most chaotic era in European history,

Medieval II: Total War’s campaign spans over 500 years. Grand battle campaigns spanning the years 1080 -1530, will take the player beyond the first Crusade up until the dawn of the Renaissance.

Gamers must use all their strategic cunning as they lead their armies across the bloody battlefields of Europe and the Holy Land, before venturing to the Americas and doing battle with the fearsome Aztecs.

Medieval II: Total War boasts a remarkable array of enhancements to the series. Firstly, the graphical improvements are simply stunning, allowing for breathtakingly detailed clashes of up to 10,000 dynamic characters on screen at once.

Players can now zoom in on the frontline action and witness fast and visceral combat, enhanced by new spectacular in-game animations. The result is highly entertaining and immersive battles that look like scenes from a Hollywood movie.

Are you dreaming of an all-white Christmas?

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F YOU’RE planning on hitting the slopes this Christmas, looking your best has never been more important.

Whether it’s a case of beginners syndrome when all you can manage is to slide down the slopes while clinging on for dear life, or you want to look good for the apres-ski frolics, looking good this winter has never been easier.

Columbia Sportswear has been making ski and board clothing since 1938 and has everything you need from style to performance to ensure you’re looking your best on the piste.

Columbia’s newest collection combines the latest cuts, colours and fabrics with the highest level of performance and technical features. Focusing on looking good, this seasons gear fea-

tures the largest choice of vibrant colours, cool cuts and intricate detailing making sure you look slick on those slopes this season.

But don’t worry, Columbia hasn’t compromised on technology or performance! Columbia works best at fusing fashion with functionality to bring to you a product that is not only trendy but geared to achieve ultimate performance. The Titanium range provides maximum breathability and waterproof protection through combining hi-tech fabrics such as chin guards, waterproof zippers, storm hoods, taped seams and high frequency welding to lock every drop of water and ounce of cold out.

So whether you’re on a black or blue run, leave the style and protection in

Columbia’s hands while you battle the mountain.

We’ve teamed up with Columbia to give you a chance to win a goody bag worth £50 with all your ski essentials including titanium vented trans alp gloves, a Riging Ridge beanie and a Bugascarf.

For your chance to win simply e-mail us the answer the following question: Which Columbia Jacket in the Titanium range is made up of 3 pieces (vest, sweater, and liner)?

Take control of a kingdom and cultivate it into a continent-spanning empire using whatever it takes - including diplomacy, trade, religion, espionage and of course war.

As players progress, they will shape their empires by strategically determining whether to build castles for military power or cities for technology and trade, giving Medieval II: Total War a more emergent depth of gameplay.

These novel and unique gaming aspects all help make Medieval II: Total War the greatest incarnation of the PC’s finest strategy series.

The game is available now. For more information check out www.sega-press.com and www.totalwar.com.

To celebrate the release, we have five PC DVD ROMs to give away.

Just get your e-mails in to us at competitions@gairrhydd.com for your chance to win.

42 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

DECEMBER.11.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This week: The Damned, University Symphony Orchestra and Choir Concert, the Xpress

Charley, Herbie, Joe and John

@ Chapter Arts Thurs, Dec 14 7.30pm/ £6-£8

Listings Editor Rosaria Sgueglia recommends

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o you fancy a bit of alternative theatre this week?

Well, have a look at what The Chapter Arts Centre is showing today.

Charley, Herbie, Joe and John is a story about five men who love their walking trip because it provides the only escape from their daily routine. When news from one of them stops him in his tracks, their trips

F ionn Regan/Kid H a rpoon/Cat e le Bon @ Clwb Ifor Bach Fri, Dec 15 7.30pm/ 8

The Damned @ The Point Tues, Dec 12 7.30pm/ £15

Listings Editor Jenna Harris recommends

T

he Damned are one of those bands that started their career around a series of landmark firsts.

The first British punk group to ever release a single, New Rose, featuring a vastly sped up version of The Beatles’ Help as the B-side, pipped the release of the Sex Pistols’ Anarchy in the UK by a matter of weeks. They also became the first punk group to tour America when they supported The Dead Boys at venues including New York’s CBGB’s. Finally, they were the first punk group to split (and

Coming Up

suddenly cease.

In the conflict that follows, they find things out about themselves and each other that they never knew. An ordinary trip therefore becomes a journey of pathos, tough truths and comedy.

Derek Routkedge, author of the production, has won many acolades for his past work, including the 2006 Drama Association of Wales Award for Best Play for Youth Cast aged 16 to 25 with The War on Television.

This also won the runners up prize in the Sheffield Theatre’s Cued Up Playwriting Competition.

Charley, Herbie, Joe and John is put on by the Everyman Company, and they have several productions coming up next spring that may well sell out, so I advise you to get tickets now.

These 2007 events include Popcorn by Ben Elton. It is a funny exploration into the power of the media and society’s refusal to take responsibility for its actions and will be directed by Jackie Hurley. On stage in March 2007.

Another big event coming up is Closer, recently made into a successful film with an all-star cast including Julia Roberts, Jude Law and Natalie Portman. A comic and honest look at modern relationships, it is the story of four strangers, their chance meetings, instant attractions, and casual betrayals. On stage at Y Stwdio in April 2007.

Uncle Vanya, Anton Checkhov’s classic of the meaning and the waste of life, is another classy appearance coming up at the New Theatre, directed by Barry Slack. On stage in May 2007.

I hope that you’ve found some theatrical inspiration for next year, and don’t forget to have a great Christmas!

Xpress Radio s gig of the week ... by Rachel McWhinney

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ionn Regan is a young singer/songwriter who hails from the coastal outskirts of Dublin.

With the successful release of his debut album The End of History, Regan hits Clwb Ifor Bach in the middle of his UK and Ireland tour.

Compared to early Dylan, Nick Drake and Paul Simon, Regan is certain to provide an evening of indie-folk bliss.

Support is amply provided by Cardiff’s Cate le Bon, recently chosen

by Radio One’s Huw Thomas as his unsigned artist of the week.

The night is rounded off with Kid Harpoon, a singer/songwriter from London whose stage presence has been described as ‘completely enveloping’ and shows a great deal of promise. This gig is not one to be missed.

consequently reform).

The Damned were named from the feelings of the founding members, singer Dave Vanian, guitarist Brian James, bassist Captain Sensible and drummer Rat Scabies, that they were damned by society following a series of dead-end jobs and experiences. As a band, they played their first gig in July 1976, just six weeks after forming, when they supported the Sex Pistols at the 100 Club.

Like any true punk band, the musical credentials of singer Dave Vanian, a former grave digger, were initially dubious to say the least, with him never having actually sung before joining.

Symbolising the fast-working nature of punk music, all the songs for first album Damned, Damned, Damned, were produced in one day.

The band, who came together on the London music scene, had members who were in a band with the Pretenders’ Chrissie Hynde, and others who were originally in punk group London SS with The Clash’s Paul Simonon and Mick Jones.

Over the years, the band lineup has altered many times, with members like Captain Sensible, who left as bassist and returned as guitarist, departing and returning haphazardly

notable replacement following their brief 1978 was Sisters split. One of Mercy’s bassist Patricia Morrison, who went on to marry Vanian.

Never a band with huge commercial success, The Damned’s biggest hit Love Song only reached No. 20 in the charts and their second album Music for Pleasure flopped. During their career, The Damned did have some luck, as they were lucky enough to be championed by John Peel, and were also asked to support Marc Bolan on his last tour.

University Symphony Orchestra and Choir

@ City Hall Wed, Dec 13 7.30pm/ £5

Gordon Lawrence recommends

T

his year marks the centenary of the birth of one of Wales’ most famous modern composers and one of Cardiff Music School’s most famous alumni, Grace Williams, who Cardiff University Orchestra will be celebrating at a concert this Wednesday.

It will include a performance of

Penillion for orchestra, originally commissioned in 1955 by the National Youth Orchestra of Wales. In Welsh traditional music, a Penillion is an improvised vocal counter melody, sung over a harp base melody. Grace Williams developed this concept by building up layers of orchestral counter melody over a basic accompaniment, producing a very moving and evocative piece.

Craig Keates, a final year Cardiff student, will be joining the orchestra to perform Philip Wilby’s lively Euphonium Concerto. The highlight of this is the noisy Greek Dance, full of vitality and concluding with the smashing of crockery by percussionists armed with safety goggles!

The much acclaimed university choir will join the orchestra to perform Schubert’s beautiful Mass in Eb. Full, music full of luscious orchestration and beautiful choral writing that is guaranteed to take your breath away.

If all this doesn’t excite you, and if Winter Wonderland outside the concert venue hasn’t got you into the Christmas mood already, then a selection of favourite choruses from Handel’s Messiah (including the famous Hallelujah chorus) most certainly will.

So, for a celebration of all that is good about music in the Cardiff School of Music and in Wales in general, look no further than City Hall on Wednesday. The concert will be conducted by the Music School’s own Dr Timothy Taylor and tickets will sell out fast, so to be sure of your seat for what will be an unforgettable evening of music. For more information call 0870 013 1812 or visit www.ticketsource.co.uk/cardiffmusic.

They may have started out as punk, with early single Neat, Neat, Neat inspired by The New York Dolls, but later work, occurring during the Eighties, saw them drift away from punk and towards darker, more gothic rock, as marked by the release of The Black Album.

After many years as a band, the influence of The Damned still resonates today. Only recently, a BBC Radio 2 documentary was broadcast about them and featured contributions from Chrissie Hynde and Glen Matlock. Now they are working on a new album and the gig is the perfect opportunity to see a band with such historical importance to British music. Miss at your peril.

Said Mike /Cornerstone / SKWAD -22 Dec @ Barfly...Kerrang! Tour 2007: Biffy Clyro / The Bronx / the Audition / I am ghost - 14 Jan @ SU…Hundred Reasons - 22 Jan @ The Point … Willie Nelson - 25 Jan @ CIA … The Bluetones -8 Feb @ Barfly … NME Indie Rock Tour: The Automatic / The View / The Horrors / Mumm-Ra -10 Feb @ SU …NME Indie Rave Tour: Klaxons / CSS / The Sunshine Underground / New Young Pony Club -11 Feb @ SU … Amy Winehouse -19 Feb @ SU …Incubus -2 April @ CIA … Deep Purple / Styx / Thin Lizzy -25 April @ CIA …

gairrhydd

43

LISTINGS

DECEMBER.11.2006 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

Radio’s gig of the week, and Charley, Herbie, Joe and John

Monday

11/12

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative sweat fest, with live bands put on by LMS and DJing by Oddsoc in between bands in the side room. 10pm 2am. £3.

X Factory @ The Taf The University’s student radio station shows off its best DJs. 9pm - 1am. Free with NUS. £3/£4 NUS. Pick Of The Day Ralfe Band (as seen on The Mighty Boosh) / Paul The Girl / Lone Pine / Kevin Barnes @ Barfly Ralphe Band are special guests for The Mighty Boosh at all five of their live London dates in March and April.

Devotees of the comedy TV show may have spotted Ralfe Band members as fishermen musicians in Series 2 of The Mighty Boosh (Old Gregg). 7.30pm. £6.

I-Candy @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ superclub. £3/4 NUS. HISAR Christmas Party @ Owain Glwndwr A night of festive frolics with the History, Ancient History, Archaeology, and Welsh History societies, with free mince pies.

7.30pm.

Special @ Chapter Arts Centre In Special, Michael Rapaport stars as Les Franken, a lonely parking officer who agrees to take part in clinical trials for a new antidepressant called Special. An unexpected side effect of the drug is that it gives him superpowers (all very true to life then). Devoted to comic books - yes, you’ve guessed it - Les is inspired enough to quit his job to devote his life to fighting evil. 6.15pm. £5.10.

An Invitation to the Musicals @ St. David’s Hall A musical tribute to the stars of musical theatre and Hollywood. 7.30pm. £8.

Friday 15/12

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Access all Areas @ SU New Look Friday. Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. 10pm 2am. £3.50/£3 adv.

The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Indie and retro night. 10pm – 2.30am. £3.50/£4.

Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV presents a night of alternative music. 10.30pm - 2am. £5.

Chaos @ Metros The hard rock night. £2.50 before 10pm.

Miaw! Miaw! Miaw! Presents: They Came From The Stars (I Saw Them) + The Is @ Clwb Ifor Bach They Came From The Stars (I Saw Them) are another one of those experimental pop bands with a zillion different members. 8pm. £4.

Ga Ga (The Ultimate Tribute to Queen) @ The Point Ga Ga (The Ultimate Tribute to Queen) are a Queen tribute band that doesn’t rely on wigs, make-up or false moustaches. Brian May himself has called them ‘stunning’. 7.30pm. £12.

Moneen @ Barfly Club Canadian emo rockers who are part of the current trend for using really long song titleseven their debut album was called the not exactly succinct Are We Really Happy Who We Are Right Now. 7.30pm. £6.

Pick of the Day Bennett Arron / Sinck / Trevor Crook / Craig Campbell @ Jongleurs Comedy Club Jewish Welsh comedian Bennett Arron is said to be a mix of Max Boyce and Woody Allen. Canadian Craig Campbell intertwines sex, drugs and randomn anecdotes with his stage humour. Sinc has a slow burning comic style, while Trevor Crook is as deadplan as they get.

7.15pm. Contact venue for more information on 0870 787 0707

Tuesday

12/12

Forecast @ Buffalo Bar Something of a night of hidden treasures, Representing under-represented music. www.weareforecast.com. 8pm - 3am. £6.

Planet Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bach Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth.” Drinks promotions and you can email song requests. Alternatively, myspace at www.myspace.com/planet_rock_club9pm2pm. £3.

Flood of Red / March on Electric Children / The Alternative Ending / Horns in the Hood of the Saint (Four Ways To Fall) @ Barfly Four bands, four times the excitement.

Glaswegian six-piece Flood of Red are emo/ screamo/post-hardcore rockers who experiment with synthesizers and electronic effects. 7.30 pm. £5.

The Damned @ The Point Original punk band. 7.30pm. £15.

Kasabian @ CIA Synth-tinged indie rock group from Leicester.

Named after Linda Kasabian, one of the members of the Charles Manson cult, they look like becoming a mainstay of the British music scene. 7.30pm. £21.

Pick of the Day Roots Unearthed: World Rhythms @ The Hall: Martin Simpson @ St. David’s Hall Martin Simpson is one of Britain’s best acoustic finger-style and slide guitarists.

He has performed with The Albion Band and Richard Thompson, musically bridging the gap between Mississippi style slide guitar and English folk ballads. He takes influences from the likes of Martin Carthy, Davey Graham and Richard Thompson. He has won many awards for his music, including ‘Best Album’ and ‘Best Instrumentalist’ at the 2002 BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards. 8pm. £12.

Wednesday 13/12

Thursday 14/12

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. 10pm. £3.

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Clubbing for jocks and pretend jocks, with a different theme most weeks. Suprisingly, it is a huge sell out. 10pm. £3.

The Departed @ Chapter Arts Centre The Departed is crime drama full of brutal violence, yet done with style. Two cops get involved in the pursuit of mob boss Frank Costello, but both men are hiding secrets.

6.15pm. £5.10.

A Christmas Concert of Seasonal Music & Carols @ St David’s Hall In aid of Clic Sargent Caring for Children with Cancer. 7.30pm. £7 - £12.

Men Women and Children / Kill The Arcade / Miss Conduct @ Barfly Men, Women and Children (formerly known as Torpedo) were formed in 2004 by exGlassjaw guitarist Todd Weinstock. Signed to Warner Bros, they are currently recording their first album, due in March 2006. They are also set to release their first single, Dance In My Blood. 7.30pm. £7.

The Host @ Chapter Arts Centre A big hit at Cannes this year, The Host is a classic ‘monster movie’ that blends genres and tones. The story follows a mutant creature that’s emerged from Seoul’s Han River and is devouring people, much to the worry of the police and city government. The Host mixes moments of drama, comedy and impressive CGI effects to produce a great film 8.30pm. £5.10.

Aperture yn cyflwyno High Contrast/ Makoto/Deeizm @ Clwb Ifor Bach Drum ‘n’ bass and jungle fun. 10pm. £5/£7.

Professor John Henry @ School of Medicine, Heath Park Campus.

The illegal drugs expert will give a lecture on drugs and their side effects, with a policeman discussing the Cardiff drug scene. Lecture Theatre 1. 7.30pm. Free.

Pick of the Day: Ghosts / Red Riot / Frame 3-13 / Spider Simpson @ Barfly Spider Simpson are a rock group; British but with a high energy American rock sound. They impressed Dave Grohl so much that he insisted they record their debut album at his personal recording studio. Over this side of the pond, Stereophonics’ frontman Kelly Jones has been singing their praises. Formed in early 2003 by founding members Adam Zindani and Sam Yapp, they could go far. 7pm. £5. £4 with flyer.

On the Edge: The Keep by Gwyn Thomas @ Chapter Arts Centre Thomas was renowned for his idiosyncratic style and wit, and The Keep has been hailed as a masterpiece and translated into several languages. 8pm. £3.

Attack + Defend / The Poppies / The Strand/Julia Harris @ TJ’s, Newport Charity gig in aid of Friends of the Earth. www.myspace.com/newportbigasklive 7pm. £5. £4 NUS.

Saturday 16/12

Sunday 17/11

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Traffic (DJ and clubbing society) playing house music in the other. 10pm. £3.50.

Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. Actually nothing to do with fly swatters. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. Hellbent! @ The Model Inn, Quay Street Cardiff city’s only rock night on a Saturday for fans of true rock music, keeping it alternative. 9pm - 2am.

Delinquent @ Metros Alternative and new music. 9pm - 4am. Free with flyer before 10pm/£4.

Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere, along with your chance to experience live acoustic acts, songwriters, bands and performers, as well as participating yourself if you so desire and sharing your musical talent with the rest of the world (OK, a small part of Cardiff).

8pm - 3am. £1.

The Hop @ Buffalo Bar Resident DJs present 50s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. Cult 50s films, drive in themes and extra large milkshakes are said to be involved as well. You know that you want to go. 8pm - 3am. Free.

Meltdown & Wildlife Christmas Party: Wonder Brass / Threatmantics / Hundreds More Acts @ Clwb Ifor Bach This is a special Christmas gig featuring rap, reggae, indie, jazz, ska, riot grrl, Indian ‘"konnakol" vocal percussion and Peruvian folkrock. Films, magicians, and seasonal surprises also feature. 20 piece jazz band Wonderbrass perform, while acts such as indie-band-with-a-viola Threatmantics, and riot grrls Physicists, perform. 7.30pm. £4.

The Glory Of Christmas: Welsh Concert Orchestra / Cardiff Ardwyn Singers / Howell’s School Choir / Crispian SteelePerkins / Iain Paton @ St. David’s Hall Seasonal music to help get people into the spirit of Christmas. Includes Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus, Pearsall’s In Dulci Jubilo and Adam’s The Holy City, as well as the requiste carols. 7.30pm. £25.50 - £12.50.

Pick of the Day This Is Seb Clarke @ Barfly This Is Seb Clarke is a 5-piece incorporating a brass section, piano, hammond organ, bass, drums, lead guitar and rhythm guitar (played by Seb Clarke himself), into the band. They present energetic rhythmns, Ike and Tina-era soul/rock. 7.30pm. £5.

Carols By Candlelight: Mozart Festival Orchestra / Mozart Festival Chorus @ St David’s Hall A programme of works by Bach Mozart (Laudate Dominum and Musical Sleighride), Handel, Corelli, Gruber, plus a selection of carols including Hark The Herald Angels Sing, While Shepherds Watched and O Come All Ye Faithful. 7.30pm. £12.50 £25.50.

Meltdown - A Dai Cove Benefit Gig: Railroad Bill / Paul Rosser / Sunhouse / River Ghosts / Sodamen / Cakehole Presley / Alison Clash / DJ Dave Grooveslave @ Clwb Ifor Bach Cardiff skiffle group Railroad Bill have the manic energy and songcraft of Madness mingled with a bit of powerpop. 8pm.

Contact venue for more information.

Pick of the Day Shaped By Fate / Raging Speedhorn @ Barfly Raging Speedhorn are a metal band who assult both the senses and the eardrums.

They are joined by Cardiff band Shaped By Fate, who have been slowly building up a presence on the metal scene since 2001.

They specialise in hardcore and classic metal. 9pm. £6.

Pick Of The Day Christmas at the Musicals/ The Best of the West End @ St David’s Hall Starring Beverley Worboys, Jacqui Scott, David Shannon and Scott Davies, accompanied by Stephen Hill and the West End Theatre Orchestra. The programme will include many hit songs from musicals past and present, as well as popular Christmas classics like Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, Winter Wonderland, Baby It’s Cold Outside and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

7.30pm. £15.50 - £20.

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Bar Cuba, The Friary 029 2039 7967 Inncognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

44 gairrhydd

SPORT

DECEMBER.11.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

Economics on course for the title?

Dave Menon Sports Editor

Socsi A 5 - 9 Econ A

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

A SUPERB first-half display enabled developing title-challengers Economics A to secure a third consecutive Premiership win and extend their astonishing unbeaten record.

Economics A, who have won all of their matches this season, continued their impressive run with a comfortable victory in wet conditions last Wednesday. Moreover, the high-flyers have now moved up to the top of the Premiership.

Although only four goals separated the sides at the end, it was certainly not an even match as Economics dominated for long periods of the game.

However, a resilient Socsi deserve credit for a solid second-half performance, as they reduced the deficit to four goals after trailing 9-2 at halftime.

High-flying Economics started brightly and soon took the lead following an opener from Goal-Attack, Kate Sharland. But Socsi hit back immediately thanks to a goal from their GoalShooter.

Nonetheless, Economics pushed bodies forward and effectively won the contest in the subsequent spell of play.

Socsi were left stunned as Economics raised their standard and scored a further eight times without reply.

Shortly afterwards, Economics restored their lead following a strike from Goal-Shooter, Annie Lloyd. And when the hardworking Sharland

grabbed a quick brace to make the score 4-1, Economics were in the ascendancy.

Crucially, Economics were superior because of their slick passing and excellent movement in all areas of the pitch. Economics Centre, Hannah Davies, was the main architect of this success as the accuracy of her passing gave Economics a cutting edge in attack.

Following two more goals from the lively Sharland, and a quick treble from strike partner Lloyd, Economics stretched their lead to 9-1 with the result firmly beyond doubt.

However, a spirited Socsi refused to give up. After bagging a goal on the stroke of half-time, they certainly improved after the break.

Although Economics continued to create a string of chances in the second half, they soon became frustrated by their poor finishing. This gave Socsi more confidence in the latter stages as they sought to level the match.

But after important interceptions from Goal-Keeper, Becky Dallimore, and Wing-Defence, Becky Witt, the Economics defence limited Socsi to just three goals before the end.

Following this latest victory, Economics should be well prepared for their forthcoming showdown clash with Law A. However, Law A are also in good form. Likwise, they have also won all of their Premiership matches so far.

Therefore, the result of this mouthwatering fixture could prove to have a significant impact on the title race.

But Law have only played two games, because their encounter against Socsi has been rearranged.

IMG FOOTBALL MATCHES WERE POSTPONED LAST WEEK DUE TO WATERLOGGED PITCHES. DUE TO SEVERE WEATHER CONDITIONS, ROUND 2 IMG FOOTBALL MATCHES WILL NOW BE PLAYED IN THE NEXT SEMESTER. TAKE NOTE OF THE FIXTURES PRINTED BELOW. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUERIES, PLEASE SEE IMG COORDINATOR, ALEX McINTOSH.

IMG Rugby Results Sun 3 Dec Pharmacy 14 - 12 Medics CARBS B N - N SAWSA

MASTS defeat the Medics MASTS 12 - 7 Medics MASTS RECORDED their first win of the season with a hardfought win over Medics on Sunday November 26.

As only five points separated the teams at the end, the match was certainly a close affair. But MASTS took the points after narrrowly outplaying their opponents.

MASTS began the game strongly and they should have scored three or four tries within the first 20 minutes. Crucially, however, handling errors prevented them from opening the scoring.

In addition to this, an early penalty was missed by MASTS. And shortly afterwards, MASTS missed a fantastic chance to break the deadlock.

Following a frenetic breakaway,

MASTS failed to score when the ball was agonisingly dropped over the try line.

But shortly afterwards, MASTS finally took the lead. After a wellexecuted line-out, MASTS managed to take the lead without making any handling errors. However, the resulting conversion was missed. leaving the score at 5-0.

And they could have paid the ultimate price. In the second half, Medics vastly improved and began to dominate proceedings.

As the tables turned, MASTS found themselves camped in their own twenty-two, with Medics showing admirable determination to level the match.

Eventually, Medics changed the compexion of the game with a try, which was followed by a successful conversion.

Yet MASTS hit back in the best possible way when full back Thurston scored a try and conversion to seal victory.

IMG Rugby

IT’S REIGNING WOMEN: Economics celebrate

menon on the match NETBALL

NUMBER OF GOALS: 194 goals, 19.4 goals per game.

GOLDEN GIRLS: CARBS A scored 21 in one match!

SURPRISE PACKAGE: Optometry grabbed their first Division Two win against the odds. Well done.

EPIC GAME: Optometry v Automotive, a pulsating 27-goal thriller. That’s entertainment.

CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Econ A, Law A, Econ B, D. Tigers and English A are unbeaten in Phase 2.

TEAM OF THE WEEK: After two more wins, Econ A get the gong for maintaining their amazing 100% record this season. Fantastic.

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 31 Jan

MOMED TWNN Real Ale Pharm AC

v v v v

Law B Socsi Japsoc Zoology

Myg Myg Gym Gym Esplanyol JOMEC

v v v v

Boca Seniors Tank Engin Arse’Alona Economics

AFC History J-Unit Psycho Ath. Uni Hallstars

v v v v

CARBS Butthead FC Law A English Soc

Inter Me-Nan Euros AFC Cathays Thunderkatz

v v v v

Park Rangers H. Dragons Chem Soc Crusaders

7/12/06 P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Engin

2

2

0

0

40

6

2

MASTS

1

1

0

0

5

3

3

CARBS A

1

1

0

0

5

3

4

Pharmacy

1

1

0

0

2

3

5

SAWSA

2

1

0

1

-2

3

6

Law

0

0

0

0

0

0

7

Planning

0

0

0

0

0

IMG Football

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Zoology*

5

5

0

0

25

14

2

MOMED

5

4

0

1

14

12

3

Law B

5

4

0

1

5

12

4

Pharm AC

5

3

0

2

14

9

5

Socsi

5

2

0

3

9

6

6

Japsoc

5

1

0

4

-4

3

7

Real Ale Madrid

5

1

0

4

-37

3

8

TWNN

5

0

0

5

-26

0

P

W

IMG Football

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Gym Gym

5

4

1

0

14

13

2

Tank Engin

5

3

1

1

7

10

3

Arse’Alona*

5

3

1

1

12

9

4

Boca Seniors

5

2

2

1

2

8

5

JOMEC*

5

2

1

2

3

6

6

Economics

5

2

0

3

-6

6

7

Myg Myg

5

1

0

4

-15

3

8

Esplanyol

5

0

0

5

-17

0

P

W

IMG Football

N- result not in.

English A 16 - 5 IWC A

Gwilym Conran IMG Reporter

Football Tables

Group C D

L

Diff

Pts

1

AFC History

5

5

0

0

25

15

2

CARBS

5

4

0

1

21

12

3

Law A

5

2

1

2

16

7

4

J-Unit

5

2

1

2

5

7

5

Psycho Ath.

5

2

0

3

0

6

6

Butthead FC

5

2

0

3

-1

6

7

English Soc

5

1

0

4

-20

3

8

Uni Hallstars

5

1

0

4

-46

3

P

W

IMG Football

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Chem Soc

5

3

2

0

7

11

2

H. Dragons

5

3

1

1

5

10

3

Thunderkatz*

5

3

1

1

3

9

4

C. Crusaders

5

2

1

2

4

7

5

AFC Cathays

5

1

4

0

1

7

6

Euros

5

1

2

2

-2

5

7

Inter Me-Nan

5

0

2

3

-9

2

8

Park Rangers

5

0

1

4

-16

1

* Team has been deducted 1 point

Netball Tables IMG Netball

Premiership P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Economics A

3

3

0

0

8

9

2

Law A

2

2

0

0

13

6

3

Cardiff A

3

2

0

1

9

6

4

CARBS A

3

2

0

1

6

6

5

Pharmacy A

3

1

0

2

8

3

6

Chirst. Union

3

1

0

2

-6

3

7

Socsi A

2

0

0

2

-6

0

8

Cardiff B

3

0

0

3

-32

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Division One D

L

Diff

Pts

0

1

Economics B

2

2

0

0

12

6

Dynamo Tigers

2

2

0

0

11

6

8

Medics

2

0

0

2

-7

0

2

9

STOMA

1

0

0

1

-19

0

3

SAWSA

2

1

0

1

10

3

10

CARBS B

2

0

0

2

-24

0

4

Medics

2

1

0

1

6

3

5

Locomotive

2

1

0

1

3

3

6

CARBS B

2

1

0

1

-3

3

7

Law B

2

0

0

2

-12

0

8

Socsi B

2

0

0

2

-27

0

P

W

IMG Netball Fixtures

IMG Netball Results

Sat 2 Dec

Sat 25 Nov

SAWSA D. Tigers CARBS B Econ B

v v v v

Law B (10.0) L’motive (10.40) Medics (11.20) Socsi B (12.10)

THERE ARE NO IMG NETBALL MATCHES ON WEDNESDAY BECAUSE THE PITCH AT TALYBONT HAS NOT BEEN BOOKED. MATCHES WILL CONTINUE IN THE NEW YEAR. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUERIES, PLEASE SEE IMG COORDINATOR, ALEX McINTOSH.

CARBS A 21 Econ A 11 Pharm A 7 Law A P

-

11 Cardiff B 9 C. Union 8 Cardiff A P Socsi A

CARBS A 10 Cardiff A 13 Socsi A 5 C. Union 11

-

Division Two D

L

Diff

Pts

1

English A

3

3

0

0

31

9

13 A’motive 9 IWC A N IWC B 0 English B

2

Pharmacy B

3

2

0

1

34

6

3

IWC A

3

2

0

1

-2

6

4

IWC B

2

1

0

1

-6

3

16 Law A 3 Cardiff B 9 Econ A 8 Pharm A

5

Automotive

3

1

0

2

-1

3

6

English B

3

1

0

2

-10

3

7

Optometry

3

1

0

2

-21

3

8

Gym Gym

2

0

0

2

-25

0

Wed 29 Nov Optometry 14 Pharm B 5 Gym Gym N English A 12

IMG Netball

P- Match postponed, N- Result not in.

gairrhydd

45

SPORT

DECEMBER.11.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

POOL: Not Just For Pubs

Pool means prizes PHOTO: ED SALTER

Continued from Back Page

HOCKEY: Strolling On

Saints sent marching home Scott D’Arcy Sports Reporter CARDIFF Ladies’ 1sts.................8 SOUTHAMPTON Ladies’ 1sts......1 ON WHAT was a bitterly cold day, both teams hardly warmed the spirit as Cardiff brushed aside visitors Southampton, maintaining their 100 percent record this season.

Their opponents, perhaps tired from travelling, really struggled to assert themselves on the game and although Cardiff had a slow start, it seemed only a matter of time before they scored against a Southampton side who sit bottom of BUSA 1A. Cardiff had all the early pressure, with both wingers working well to stretch the play with their front pair looking threatening. However, the pace of the game was incredibly slow to begin with; Southampton were lacking energy in their play, missing all desire and adventure.

The chances were there for Cardiff,

including a shot from Claire Davis which trickled under the keeper and was cleared desperately off the line.

When Southampton made it out of their half it was to no great effect, although they did hit the post with a deflected shot which looped over everyone and clipped the upright.

All in all it was a solid performance by the Cardiff defence, who cleared up any loose balls and made interceptions when needed. Cardiff also hit the woodwork midway through the first half after some good stick work by Laura Ferguson, who spun and fired all in the same motion. The pressure never let up for Southampton, and a beautiful one-two between Angharad Griffiths and Davis, deserved a goal, but Griffiths' shot was cracked wide.

Eventually the Southampton defence leaked after conceding a corner, which was then rifled in to the area and poorly defended, only for Donna McCormick to smash it home from close range. It seemed that the goal was all Cardiff were waiting for as they came to life and started to dominate.

The second came soon after with an

Struggling to hole out Ben Jones rounds-up the Golf Club’s progress as they prepare for the Back 9 AFTER A successful 05/06 season for the Cardiff Golf First team, this year's side were facing a tough year in BUSA Premier South, while the second team continue to tackle stiff opposition in BUSA Western 2A. Many of the successful players from last year have graduated, and also several of the University's players were fortunate enough to be

picked to represent the Welsh Universities in the Home Internationals, namely Billy Hemstock, Elliot Shaw, Ryan Greaney, David Thomas and Chris Orr. However, successful trials in October saw good squads recruited for both teams.

The Firsts got off to a winning start in the Premiership with a 4 - 2 victory over Reading at home course

accurate cross from the right onto Bethan Stephens stick, who coolly slotted home. Cardiff continued to pile on the pressure, stealing every loose pass and forcing yet more mistakes from their opponents.

Just before half time, Cardiff put the game seemingly out of reach as Davis broke free in the area and flicked the ball in from a tight angle. After the restart, the roles were slightly reversed as Southampton, though not with any renewed vigour, started to pressure Cardiff. This did not last long however, and the floodgates soon opened once again as Davis burst down the right, creating four-on-three, and found Ferguson in the area, who promptly tucked the ball into the bottom corner.

Southampton started to look uninterested, or just helpless, and their defence on Cardiff's fifth goal was disastrous, allowing Ferguson to get her well deserved hat-trick. The next three goals were relatively easy as Southampton's resistance crumbled; the pick of them began with a long pass into the area that McCormick gathered and smashed in. At 8 - 0 Cardiff eased off and their opponents scored from their only penalty corner of the game.

After an easy win for Cardiff, Captain Tamara Fateh said: “We were not on top form today, but we got the job done and continued our winning streak”.

Radyr.

Life in the Premiership was going to be hard, as the firsts found in their next two matches against Bournemouth and Bath. Despite fielding a strong team in both instances, the quality of the opposition was overpowering.

They got back on track with a battling half against a strong Buckinghamshire Chilterns side.

However, away at Exeter proved a hard game, against another team whose players study golf management, and the side suffered a second consecutive loss.

The team managed a good draw away at Reading, despite fielding a weakened side, but an exceedingly

Lloyd and Paspatis continued from this stage, but were then drawn against each other for a place in the quarter-finals.

The match saw Lloyd endure a 5 - 0 defeat at the hands of his team-mate, who progressed on in the tournament.

Paspatis, more commonly referred to as ‘Machinos’ by his fellow club members, had been in fantastic form on the opening day, losing only three racks whilst winning 25 to power his way through to the semi finals.

The following day his incredible run of results continued as he brushed aside BUSA Snooker champion James Hill of Warwick University 5 - 1.

The final began with more of the same from Paspatis as he quickly took a 3 - 0 lead over Donovan, only to leave his Cardiff team-mates holding their breath as his opponent managed to pull back to three all.

The tension was eased as again Paspatis took the next rack to leave himself one away from victory, before Donovan came back again to level at 4 - 4 leaving just one rack to decide who would become the UPC British 9 Ball Champion and take home the cheque for £200.

Donovan missed a crucial early ball, leaving Paspatis the chance he needed to take the title as he completed an extremely composed clearance, before being swarmed by the Cardiff fans in the euphoric celebrations which followed.

In the team event, expectations were high as the first team comprised of Dev Chadha, Shaun Hill and Paspatis, looked to improve

tough home match versus Bournemouth saw a further loss for the team.

It has been a tough year in the Premiership as was expected, however, the results have not fairly represented the strength of the team.

Unfortunately, various university and work commitments have meant the strongest team has not always been available for selection.

Players drawn from the second team have given their best, though the gulf in quality between the second division and Premiership has proved too vast.

However, first team players Greaney and Richard Union have impressed this season, and fresher

on Cardiff's semi-final place from the previous year, particularly with the luxury of a seeded draw this time around.

The common consensus that all three teams entered this year had been strengthened from previous years seemed to be justified, as at the end of the first day of the team event, each side had made it through to the last 16 of the competition.

The final day began with an allCardiff fixture as the firsts taking on the second team with the result going in the expected direction as the firsts progressed to the quarter finals. The seconds were still in with a chance to reach the quarters, due to the double elimination format which operates before the quarter finals, and the third team would have to settle for a similar second chance as they fell 2 - 0 to Bristol firsts in the same round.

The tournament then came to an abrupt and unexpected end for the Cardiff teams as they were all knocked out in consecutive matches. The thirds went down 2 - 0 to Edge Hill 1’s, then the second team to Bristol’s seconds. Lastly and most disastrously, the firsts went out 2 - 1 to Gloucestershire University in a match where even the seemingly invincible Paspatis could not save his team from exit.

It was disappointing end for Cardiff after their incredible start to the weekend, and the high expectations surrounding all of the teams.

Attention now turns to the BUSA 8 Ball in February where Cardiff 1sts will be looking to build on their runner-up place from last year, having kept virtually their entire team intact from their last visit to the Derby venue.

Alex Howe has also played well.

The second team have had a mixed season. They got off to a great start with a solid win at Plymouth. A loss to Bath at home was a little unlucky, but this was corrected through a draw away at Southampton Solent. The season has slipped into disappointment as results continued go the wrong way, with losses against Southampton, Gloucestershire and Bournemouth.

The results have been slighty unrepresentative, with individual matches going very close. Huw Jones has been outstanding for the seconds this season, and the performances of fresher Lewis Conde have been encouraging.

46 gairrhydd

SPORT

DECEMBER.11.2006 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Last gasp James Clifford Football Reporter BATH Men’s 1sts.................1

PHOTO: GEORGE FOOT

CARDIFF Men’s 1sts............1

NETBALL: Tough Tactics

Bath pull plug on Cardiff attacks

Becky Oatley Netball Reporter BATH 1sts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .48 CARDIFF 1sts . . . . . . . . . . . .43 CARDIFF NETBALL Firsts suffered an unlucky 48 - 43 defeat to Bath, the undefeated leaders in the Premiership race.

It was a strong and positive performance from Cardiff, which ensures they remain upbeat heading into the new year.

Bath shot out of the blocks, leaving Cardiff dumbstruck and trailing in their wake. Despite some superb tips in defence, Cardiff simply had no answer to the ruthless demonstration of converting possession into points and the first quarter ended 13 - 4.

Quarter time provided a chance to regroup, and WA Kylie Painter was introduced in an effort to spur on the static centre court. The improvements were immeasurable and Cardiff traded goal for goal up to half time.

A hallmark of the Cardiff team this year has been their fighting spirit when behind. Slick and dynamic work in the centre from Carys Jenkins and Kirsty

Smith opened up the court, while the tireless work ethic and faultless shooting from GA Carly Allchurch allowed Cardiff to creep back into the game.

Bath have blown away all opponents this year, both home and away, but simply did not know how to counteract the potent Cardiff fight back.

Their frustrations were evident, with the Bath GD twice boiling over, tempestuously stamping her feet as she was, once again, outfoxed by the Welsh attack.

In the final quarter, Cardiff made one last big push and embarked on a free scoring run to close the gap to five. A controversial injury timeout

was called by the Bath GA to stop this devastating comeback. Cardiff GS Sophie Vaughan commented: “It was frankly embarrassing for her and the team to resort to these methods, but a great complement to us that they resorted to these desperate measures in order to break us down.”

With barely five minutes remaining on the clock, the visitors could pullback no more and the game ended in a 48 - 43 loss.

Cardiff's performance drew complements from the home crowd and, having proven Bath are not unbeatable, the Cardiff team have underlined their potential to become BUSA champions.

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

LACROSSE: Too little, too late

Lacrosse lack Cambs’ power Erica Bone Lacrosse Reporter CARDIFF Lacrosse.................4 CAMBRIDGE Lacrosse..........10 CARDIFF TOOK ON Cambridge in an extremely competitive and spirited game, despite missing

captain Kate Davey who was unable to play due to illness.

It was a tough first hal,f with Cambridge doubling up their defence when facing Cardiff’s attacks. In resistance, Cardiff used short, quick passes enabling them to keep possession of the ball.

With Cambridge proving to be difficult competition, the visitors pulled ahead, maintaining possession of the ball scoring five quick

goals. It could have been more but for Cardiff goalie Tiree Atkinson, along with a strong defence upheld

by Ellie Drury, who proved that Cardiff were not willing to give in without a fight.

The second half saw an emergence of skill from the Cardiff team, who produced a whole-hearted attack despite Cambridge’s quality.

Their strong midfield play was countered with aggression and pres-

sure from the visitors.

Despite this, Cardiff were able to gain a stronger grip on the game in attempt to overturn the deficit, with goals scored by Lizzie Vernon, Sue Chandler and two from Sarah Crowley.

With the score lying at 6 - 3, a mini-comeback from Cardiff meant both teams were in with a chance of victory, Cambridge pulled away to a 10 – 4 triumph.

CARDIFF MEN’S Football Firsts conceded a late goal to draw 1 1 away to Team Bath, in a game which had to be won to keep any chance of survival in BUSA 1A. Earlier results didn't bode well for the visitors; however, Cardiff started brightly, adapting best to the wet conditions as midfield duo Matt Jones and David James controlled the tempo and switched the play frequently.

It was Jones who created the first attack of any real purpose. He latched onto a through ball from Cherry Cinicola before rounding the on rushing keeper and being cynically tripped. From the resulting free kick, Andre Stairmand beat the 'keeper with a 20 yard shot dipping into the top right corner.

Irritated, the goal seemed to spur on Bath who began to increase the pressure on the Cardiff back four. A cross from the right was narrowly headed over and their impressive striker missed a great chance after breaking the Cardiff offside trap.

The lead up to half time was constantly threatened by Bath corners; however, Cole Stacey marshalled his area superbly to keep the scoreline at 1 - 0.

Following the interval, Cardiff again came out of the blocks quickly with Jones and Stairmand both going close in the first 15 minutes.

As the half wore on, the Cardiff back line was put under increasing pressure. Nick Bowker was a mountain at the back, snuffing out many opportunities.

Finally Cardiff's resistance was broken in the dying seconds, with Bath scoring a headed goal after a cross from the right wing to leave Cardiff's players inconsolable at the final whistle.

Skipper Andy Wylde commentated after the match: “The result sums up our season and whilst luck shouldn't be a factor you always need an element of it.”

BUSA AND IMG REPORTS Please email them to: sport@gairrhydd.com

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League leaders pegged back Ed Pitchforth Sports Reporter CARDIFF Ladies’ 1sts. . . . . . . . 4

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

MARJONS Ladies’ 1sts . . . . . . . 0

MARJONS: In the firing line

CARDIFF LADIES’ Firsts secured their second victory in a row with a 4 - 0 thrashing of league leaders Marjons at Llanrumney.

Having suffered a comprehensive 8 - 0 defeat at the hands of their opponents earlier in the season, the team were hoping for an improved display. They certainly provided one as they dominated the first half, scoring four goals in the process Starting strongly, Cardiff tested the Marjons’ keeper twice within the opening five minutes with a deflected strike and a dipping effort from distance.

They continued to control proceedings with the midfield pairing of Zahra Chatar and Emma Jones looking assured on the ball, producing a series of intelligent passes.

Cardiff then came close to taking

the lead when Gemma Godber's cutback found strike partner Alex Joannides, but her snapshot was well saved. Marjons were certainly not playing like league leaders as Cardiff's constant pressure meant the ball rarely left their half.

After a series of chances went begging, it looked as if Cardiff would not get the goal their performance deserved, but with 30 minutes gone, midfielder Chatar produced a moment of brilliance to break the deadlock.

Receiving the ball in the middle of the pitch twenty-five yards out, she fired a thumping shot into the top right hand corner.

Just one minute later the lead was doubled when Sharp's excellent crossfield ball reached Jen Fields who found the net with a deflected strike.

Cardiff were really the only team to threaten, as Marjons repeatedly failed to keep possession. Chatar could have added to her tally, but could only direct her shot straight at the visiting keeper.

With five minutes to the interval, Cardiff made it 3 - 0 as the ball broke loose on the edge of the box, allowing the impressive Jones to dispatch a low strike into the corner of the net.

The pressure was maintained and Cardiff were rewarded when Sally Burdus headed home from a corner to make it a resounding and unlikely 4 - 0 at half time.

The second half was far more competitive as a determined Marjon side worked hard to avoid conceding any further goals in the face of some clever attacking moves from the Welsh side.

There was plenty of industrious play from both teams, but the action lacked a cutting edge as no significant chances were created. Cardiff goalkeeper Ruth Smith did not have to make a single save, with her only action being to rush off her line to collect a series of over hit Marjon through balls.

Cardiff meanwhile, looked confident going forward as they kept possession for prolonged periods.

However, they were limited to efforts from distance as their passing lacked the penetration of the first half.

Captain Joannides was rightly pleased with the performance commenting: “Compared to last time we did very well. Our passing was excellent and we could easily have scored more.�

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Men’s Football Firsts face relegation from BUSA 1A Page 46

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

League leaders pegged back

POOL MEANS PRIZES

Cardiff Ladies’ Football Firsts claim shock win over top-of-the-table Marjons Page 47 GREEK EMMANOUIL Paspatis took the BUSA Individual 9-Ball Championship for Cardiff, as the University’s Pool Club enjoyed success in the latest BUSA event, says Shaun Hill.

Paspatis won the Individual Championship, held in Solihull, beating ex-snooker professional Damian Donovan of Gloucestershire University 5 - 4 in a tense final, as he held his nerve to clear the table in the last rack of the competition.

The omens were good from the start as 11 of the Cardiff players made it through to the last 64 of the singles event.

The numbers then inevitably started to drop for Cardiff as Ben Dabson, Matthew Evans, Mike Lloyd and Paspatis were the only four to fight their way through to the last 32.

Continued on Page 45

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