Gair Rhydd - Issue 833

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ISSUE 833 FEBRUARY 12 2007

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

g Selling water, strippin ... and talking about sex

e m a n e h t All in of charity Features: page 21

PARLIAMENT IN MOTION !"Students’ Union democracy faces massive overhaul !"Representatives from all AU clubs and societies obliged to attend !"Current student councillors express concern at proposed new system

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

Katie Kennedy News Editor THE WAY the Students’ Union is run may soon be revolutionised through the formation of a new Student Parliament.

The plan comes after concerns that under the Union’s current system, Student Council, only a small number of students attend and so

as a result is not an accurate representation of the student populace.

Under plans proposed by the Students’ Union president, Joe AlKhayat, electives from societies, AU clubs, University schools, and the current student council, will be required to attend Student Parliament every month to vote on Union issues.

The constitution that has governed the Union for years will have to be scrapped and rewritten if the new system is

DEMOCRACY IN ACTION: The masses voting at last year’s AGM

voted in.

If it goes ahead, student parliament members may be voting in a new hi-tech setting: it is believed the Union are in talks with the University to construct a semi-permanent lecture theatre in the Great Hall with a retractable-tiered seating, electronic voting keypads, and a large screen to watch presentations.

It is expected that President Joe Al-Khayat will present the plan for Student Parliament at the Annual General Meeting on February 21. When talking to gair rhydd about his ideas, Al-Khayat said: “For me the AGM is the student body that the student parliament will aim to reflect.

“I’ve spoken to a number of sports clubs and a few

societies who think it’s a good idea; it’s an ambitious concept, but one that through a lot of consultation we can achieve.

Continued on page four

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NEWS

FEBRUARY.12.2007

PHOTO: ED SALTER

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

At

a glance

FEBRUARY 12 2007 News 1 Editorial & Opinion 7 Column 10 Letters 11 Politics 13 Science/Environment 14 Jobs & Money 15 Media 16 Health 18 Features 21 Television 27 Problem Page 35 Five Minute Fun 37 Grab 39 Listings 40 Sport 43 EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV John, TV Neil, TV Jane, TV Ellen LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD Huw Pritchard SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MINUTE FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITORS James Perou, Sarah Day SUB EDITOR Cathal McMahon ONLINE EDITOR Paul Springett PROOFREADERS Aisling Tempany, Andy Rennison, Katie Stuart, Katie Dobbs CONTRIBUTORS James Temperton, Lucy Higgins, Jessica Hart, Tasha Prest-Smith, Abigail Whittiker, Sam Shillabeer, Emily Foley, Holly Bassett, Joss Duggan, James Stileman, Luke Pavey, Eleanor Morrey, Victoria Lane, Matthew Horwood, Lee Macaulay, Corinne Rhoades, Jason Jones, Chris Croissant, Andrerw Styles, Lorna Hull, Dan Ridler, Polly Lord, Bryan Hatton, Tim Hewish, Kate Monaghan, Rachel Clare, Joanna Dingle, Roz Grave, Jessica Alge, Martin Cole, Su-Ann Lim, Ed Salter, Adam Gasson, Matt Peacock, Sam Malone, Ben Walker, Andy Dickens, Scott D’Arcy, Angharad Jones, Becky Oatley, Alex Joannides, Lizzie Hawes, Tom Szczebott, Danny Holland, Jameson Kergozou, Anna Staples ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

A step in the light direction Will the Taff Trail soon be safe for students at night?

James Temperton Reporter AFTER YEARS of complaints about the danger of crime on the Taff Trail at night, a fight to get improved lighting on the path has gone to the Welsh Assembly.

The issue was raised at a full Assembly meeting by Cardiff AM Owen John Thomas who is putting pressure on Cardiff council to also install CCTV on the path.

His calls come after 22-year-old Hannah Pole was allegedly punched, kicked and robbed by a gang of youths near Blackweir Bridge, as she cycled home from work last month.

Edwina Hart, the Minister for Social Justice and Regeneration, said it was important that adequate lighting was in place if people were being encouraged to cycle on trails.

She said: “It is important that local

Twenty questions Tasha Prest-Smith Reporter FINAL YEAR undergraduates are being asked to give feedback on their University experience to help the students of the future.

The 2007 National Student Survey is asking all final year students to complete an online questionnaire.

Students are asked about the quality of teaching, organisation and management, assessment and feedback, academic support, learning resources and personal development.

Results will be published nationally in summer 2007 on a public website which is available to prospective students.

All final year students will be contacted by email over the coming weeks and asked to complete the short survey.

It is hoped that the survey will help improve both the University and the academic experience for future students.

authorities look at their role and responsibilities in this regard.

“It is important that such areas are not out of bounds, because they are for recreation purposes.

“This may also be a matter for the community safety partnership and I will certainly take up the matter, via my officials.”

She was responding to a question at Thursday's initial meeting by Mr Thomas who wants Cardiff Council to use its crime fund to install CCTV and lighting along the isolated parts of the Taff Trail.

He said: “Unfortunately, robberies and muggings in the area between Blackweir and Grangetown are increasing and are turning one of the finest attractions in the capital city into a no-go area after dark.

“I understand that money is available to help deal with these matters.”

For the financial year 2006/07, the

Government allocated £5 million to the Safer Communities Fund which can be used to provide CCTV cameras.

If such a move does go through it will come as a major relief to many students in Talybont who use the trail on a regular basis despite the dangers it currently poses.

One Cardiff student was unsure if anything could be done to make the route safer for students as it is so isolated. Holly Bassett, a second year student who spent last year living in Talybont South, said: “I don’t really think it would make that much difference to the safety aspect, the path is completely cut off from Talybont for long distances at a time and could still be dangerous even if very well lit. I don’t think girls should walk along there after dark alone at all.”

Media accused of Islamophobia

Is your house over-rated?

Lucy Higgins Reporter THE NOTORIOUS problems that students have with letting agents, has led to the creation of a nationwide website.

Final year student Mike Payne has set up www.ratemyagent.net to help students to ‘make informed decisions about property rental’, and it is already being used by many house-hunters.

Payne is keen to point out that the website is not a slander or hate site, but simply a forum for stories to be swapped, and agents to be rated.

If you’re considering renting a house through an agent, log on to the site to see what others have to say first.

Cardiff Professor gets OBE

Muslims condemn media for contributing to atmosphere of terror Emily Foley Reporter THE MEDIA has been accused of fuelling Islamophobia and spreading negative images of Muslims, a survey has found.

A report by the Islamic Human Rights Commission examines how Muslims are discussed in negative terms in the news, film and literature.

The report found that 62% of British Muslims feel the British media is Islamophobic and 16% think it is racist.

The report’s co-author Arzu Merali said: “The British media is generally quite liberal.”

But she also feels that it “is contributing to an increasingly hostile environment for Muslims.”

Cardiff Islamic society members Shahin and Farah disagree with the claims that the British media is racist, but feel that it can be Islamophobic.

Farah, a second year medical student, said: “People often instantly relate Islam with terrorism as this is mainly when it is referred to in the media.”

Shahin added: “Only the extremes of the religion are shown on the news and this provokes fear because if people don’t have any contact with Muslims in day-to-day life then the media is their only way of finding out about the religion.”

Both also believe media stories about child brides and honour killings unfairly represent Muslims.

But they agree that the media is trying to improve how it portrays Islam, in particular by putting more Muslim presenters on television.

Although the report’s main concern is how the media’s portrayal of Islam can affect how Muslims are treated in society, Shahin commented: “As a Cardiff University student I have never felt discriminated against.”

Jessica Hart Reporter THE QUEEN has awarded an OBE to Cardiff University Professor Michael Rowe.

Gwent-born Rowe was given the award for services to Technology. This has come after many achievements for the Professor, including being awarded a Doctorate of Science and co-founding the European Thermoelectric Society.

Rowe, who has a degree in Pure Mathematics and Physics, specialises in thermoelectric generation. His research at Cardiff was developed further in America, producing on-board power for NASA’s Galileo Mission.

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NEWS

FEBRUARY.12.2007 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

A good degree cheaper or all of a course, in a continued attempt to attract everyone to further education.

The Open University hopes that the initiative will encourage those who want to do an undergraduate degree but are put off by the high costs of traditional residential universities.

PHOTO: ANNA STAPLES

THE MANY HOURS that students spend shopping in Tesco Extra could now have an educational benefit, as Open University launches a deal to trade Clubcard points for degree schemes.

Vouchers accumulated at the store can now be used to fund part

Union gets fr uity for health month TESCO: Educating the masses

William cheers Abigail Whittaker Reporter PRINCE WILLIAM cheered on the Welsh Rugby Team as they took on Ireland at the Millennium Stadium on February 4.

The game coincided with his inauguration as Vice Royal Patron of the Welsh Rugby Union.

Greeted by dignitaries prior to the game, William said that he believed the current Welsh team ‘have got potential’.

He took a walk onto the pitch with players Tom Shanklin and Gareth Thomas, who later sat with him at the pre-match lunch.

The Prince signed the visitors’

book in the stadium, which happens to be positioned directly below a photograph of himself as a child on a previous visit to Cardiff. Laughing, he said of the photograph: “Can you tell the difference? I was far better looking then.”

Following Wales’ defeat to Ireland, William met representatives of the game and took the opportunity to speak of his passion for sport.

The Prince told others that he had enjoyed the game despite the Welsh team being unlucky.

WILLIAM: Gets enthusiastic about Wales

SABBATICAL OFFICERS dressed as enormous pieces of fruit celebrated the start of Health Month last week.

They handed out bananas and mineral water to promote the first week’s message of healthy eating and physical fitness.

The next three weeks will focus on sexual health, mental health and cutting down on smoking and alcohol.

Invest in Sport update THE INVEST IN SPORT campaign continues to gain momentum, with over 1,300 people signing the Facebook petition.

AU Teams donned the campaign stickers for their final BUSA league matches, mounting pressure on the

University to make some positive decisions at the Stategy and Resources meeting on February 13.

Hundreds have also signed up for the Fun Run on Saturday February 17 to show their support for Health Month and Invest in Sport campaign.

It’s reigning girls Fears emerge that men will be phased out of top jobs as undergraduate girls outnumber boys by thousands Sam Shillabeer Reporter MEN ARE AT risk of losing the opportunity for decent jobs as more and more males decide against studying for a degree.

The Government is worried about a growing gender divide after 22,500 more women than men went on to higher education.

University, once dominated by young men, is increasingly becoming the preserve of women, the Higher Education Funding Council for England (Hefce) observed.

Figures last year showed 47% of 1730 year-old women had gone into higher education in 2004, compared to 37% of young men.

Hefce chief executive Professor David Eastwood said: “It matters in the sense that it mattered when it was the other way around.

“The wider worry is that if we are not careful we are going to arrive at a position where young lads are alienated, under-skilled and will find themselves disadvantaged in the labour market.”

But he dismissed the proposal of gender quotas for university places.

“We need to understand better why

BOYS: Less educated than girls this is happening and start taking some action sooner rather than later.”

Research has shown that boys who perform well at school were just as likely to go to university as girls.

Higher Education Minister Bill Rammell said the government was working to widen participation,

emphasizing that it is important to improve boys’ attainment at school level.

“The government has introduced a number of strategies to address the gap in gender achievement and to raise the performance of all pupils,” Mr Rammell said.

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NEWS

FEBRUARY.12.2007 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Cardiff students to lobby MPs

TWO HUNDRED students will travel to London to show Parliament that they are not ‘loving up top-up fees’ on February 21.

Each Russell Group University, including Cardiff, will send 10 students to the assembly to meet with Bill Rammell, Alan Johnson and each of their MPs, AMs and SMPs. The lobby is organized by The Aldwych Group, which represents the students’ unions of Russell Group universities.

Cardiff’s Health and Welfare Officer Kate Monaghan said: “We are lobbying on behalf of the half a million students at our universities and for the countless others who have the ability to study, but not the means.

“This government needs to be providing that means and must recognise that, in the review of fees, access is the first criteria and never something that can be fobbed off or taken lightly. We want you to come with us and make a stand.”

If you are interested please contact Kate Monaghan, on monaghank1@cf.ac.uk for a place. All of your transport costs will be covered and you will be briefed on the issues once you have signed up.

Let it snow SEVERE SNOW hit Wales last Thursday causing transport chaos and school closures across the country.

Cardiff students were affected with some university staff unable to make it into work which led to cancelled lectures, seminars and department receptions being closed.

The chaos brought on by the snow in Wales follows severe weather warnings from the Met Office saying that some areas could have up to six inches (15 cm) of snow.

A part-time education Education Minister Bill Rammell calls for universities to raise profile of part-time courses

James Stileman Reporter COURSES with fewer study hours a week should become the driving force behind universities, Education Minister Bill Rammell has announced.

At a Guardian conference of higher education leaders in London on February 1, Mr Rammell called for universities to aim to attract more part-

time students.

He asserted that universities should make part-time courses ‘a major part’ of their future plans, to the extent that they would rival traditional undergraduate placements in terms of their popularity.

Mr Rammell added that people who study ‘from the factory floor, openplan offices and the front seat of white vans’ should be the focus of universities’ expansion, instead of attracting

Slimming down Wales Student parliament Joss Duggan Reporter WALES’ WEIGHT problem has led to the creation of a new website offering a personalized and anonymous advice.

Although SlimmingDoctor.co.uk is based in Wales, where fifty percent of the population is clinically overweight or obese, people from across the UK will be able to benefit from the site’s guidance.

One-to-one consultations will be available through the site for as little as nine pounds per month.

The concept is based on a successful Danish service that has managed to help over 45,000 Danes lose weight by tailoring diet and exercise programmes for the individual.

The service has been founded in response to fears for the health of the Welsh population.

“The idea is to get people involved in the cutting-edge running of the Union, and instead of many meetings devoted to AU, or societies, it should all merge together in one meeting.”

Although AU council and Societies’ council would not remain in their present forms, there would be ‘working groups’ that could discuss matters too complicated, or lengthy, for the Student Parliament and then report back.

The Student Parliament would meet monthly, instead of the current fortnightly meetings at Student council.

The new system would closely resemble those in student unions across the country, including Queen Margaret’s University in Edinburgh and Peterborough University.

The plans have won support already, current chair of the Student Council, Rob Sharples, said: “I think it’s a fantastic idea. We need more people and a wider range of

increasing numbers of 18-21-year-old undergraduates on full-time courses.

The assertion seems to verify claims that ministers feel employers should aid in contributing towards the everincreasing costs of expanding Britain’s higher education system.

The argument follows the commonly held view that the government and students themselves already invest substantial enough sums into this educational domain.

Continued from front page

types of people to get involved in our Union.”

Some current student councillors though have expressed concern.

Gemma Long, who was the College President of Humanities last year, said: “I’ve read the proposal and I do like it, especially involving student course reps in Union affairs.

“The more people that get involved, the more representative the decision, but the voting structure must be right.

“So if there’s a majority of AU club members, does that mean that potentially the AU could run the Student Parliament?”

Another student councillor, Ben Hill, agrees, “The current system does have to change. For a university of 26,000 students, to have 40 in a room every fortnight, with 95% from just the Cathays campus, not the Heath, having a system where everyone can have their say is the nirvana of the Student Council.

“Whether this has been thought out well enough though is another matter.

Sports clubs for example, could come together, creating a political party.

This would mean less representation and rifts in the parliament.”

Last year’s Students’ Union President, Pete Goodman, said: “I think it’s a superb idea. The one thing the Students’ Union needs to be is all things to all people. The system at the moment, where maybe 60 people make decisions for over 20,000 is not representative.

“But with the parliament, it’s important the proportions are right.”

Al-Khayat admits that the plan for the Student Parliament is an ongoing process, with details which still need to be ironed out through consultation.

Al-Khayat hopes that Student Parliament will become a reality. He said: “I don’t know how more representation can be a bad thing.”

PHOTO: Sarah Day

Holly Bassett Reporter

PHOTOS: Adam Gasson and Luke Pavey

LOBBY: Time for change

Marshals have landed Holly Bassett Reporter WEEKEND party-goers will have a safer night out, it is hoped, after taxi marshals are installed on a permanent basis.

Due to the success of a trial run in December, two marshals will be placed at the junction of High Street and St. Mary’s Street between the hours of 8pm and 4am on Friday and Saturday nights.

The initiative aims to assist with the safe and secure co-ordination of taxis and to eliminate drivers who operate in an illegal or irresponsible way.

Co-ordinated by the Cardiff Community Safety Partnership, the project is one of a series recently undertaken in the city centre to help improve night-time safety and public reassurance.

Councillor Judith Woodman, CoChair of the Cardiff Community Safety Partnership said: “It is of vital importance that Cardiff continues to have a safe and efficient night-time economy. I’m delighted that this scheme has proved successful so far, and will be continued for at least the next couple of months.”

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NEWS

FEBRUARY.12.2007 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Grant NO Fees Students rally their peers to challenge the Vice-Chancellor about tuition fees

Lee Macaulay Reporter CARDIFF STUDENTS took a stand against tuition fees this week by protesting against the University’s Vice Chancellor, Dr David Grant.

As reported in last week’s gair rhydd, the protest took place outside the Vice Chancellor’s office in the Main Building last Wednesday.

The protest was organised by the society Socialist Students as part of their national campaign against top-up fees which comes to a head on February 22, in a nationwide rally.

The event was also being supported

by Cardiff Students’ Union with nearly all the Union’s Sabbatical Officers attending.

President Joe Al-Khayat proclaimed at the event that ‘fees are rubbish’ to passing students through a megaphone.

Socialist Students’ National Coordinator, Matt Dobson said: “Although there’s only small protests around the country, we want to try and kick something off and be a catalyst.

“What the Campaign to Defeat Fees aims to do is to stop fees coming into Scotland and Wales, stop the cap being raised but also end all tuition fees and to fight for living grants for students.”

However, the Vice Chancellor was not present at the Main Building for the protest but his office accepted a petition of hundreds of signatures on his behalf from the protesters.

Vice President Ed Jones said: “We don’t do enough of this kind of activism. If there’s anything more that you would like to commit the Students’ Union to, then come along to Student Council or get something through the AGM (Annual General Meeting) which is coming up on

February 21.

“If we do that then we commit the resources of the whole Students’ Union and we can mandate the organisation to do whatever we want and run any kind of demo, protest or campaign.”

HANDBAGS: Keep a firm grip

INSET: Students present petition

CARDIFF STUDENTS have been warned that pickpockets are targeting people in Cardiff City Centre by South Wales police.

Eleven robberies were reported to police in one shopping Saturday in January.

They’ve also warned that the pickpockets seem to be targeting women with handbags inside shops and for people to be cautious when using changing rooms and waiting at tills to pay.

FEES RALLY: Just say no

Locals fear student takeover Corinne Rhoades Reporter STUDENTS ARE staging a takeover of residential areas, citizens in university towns and cities have complained.

Representatives from all over the country are campaigning to stop their towns being ‘overrun’ by students.

Councillors met in Nottingham last week to discuss the growing problem of students in residential areas.

Nottingham’s most student-populated region, Lenton, used to be a well-to-do family area but has now been nicknamed after an Ibiza nightspot, ‘The Strip’.

Lenton locals blame students for the decline of their area, where they have observed an increase in littering and noise, as well as seeing local shops replaced by takeaways.

Landlords are said to have taken

Police warn of shoplifting rife in Cardiff...

advantage of Lenton’s large Victorian houses and crammed students into the neighbourhood.

“You can have some areas where whole streets are taken over by students,” Nottingham city council’s student strategy manager said.

Robert Howard, a retired housing association manager, claimed: “The area is full of cowboys who squeeze five students into a semi and charge £55 each week without spending a penny on the property.”

Universities have been blamed as a cause for the problem by not providing enough student accommodation.

However, in recent years students have also begun to live in their own communities instead of amongst local families, causing segregation in the community.

Rachel Codd, a third year at Nottingham University says that she enjoys living away from the locals.

She said: “It’s great to be on a street that’s full of students.

“There are lots of locals around but I don’t really speak to them.”

Simon Wakefield, Cardiff’s local Councilor for the Cathays area said: “There is very little the council can do about the issue.

He added that in Cardiff new blocks of halls such as Cambrian Point and Victoria Hall are helping to combat the problem.

South Wales universities have agreed a Student Community Action Plan that will highlight any problems and employ a liaison officer to improve relations.

Although Mr Wakefield admitted that the problem was ‘complicated’, he was enthusiastic about the ‘youthful vibrance’ that students brought to Cardiff.

He said: “With one son at Warwick and another hoping to go to uni in October, I can hardly be anti-students as a species can I?” NOTTINGHAM: Littered and noisy

... And giveaway house alarms SOUTH WALES Police are giving away one thousand home alarms to students for free in an effort to reduce crime in Cardiff.

The alarms come in two parts. One attaches to a doorframe and the other to the door itself.

When the door is opened, the alarm sounds a chime to alert the occupants of the house.

The alarms will be given out for free from Cardiff Student Letting, in the Students’ Union, and Security Services on Park Place.

Police are also going to patrol Cathays in an attempt to find houses at risk to these kind of burglaries and offer residents the alarms for free as well.

PC Bob Keohane, student liasion officer for Cardiff University, said: “The alarms will help students that have doors that don’t lock automatically as burglars have been targeting houses with unlocked doors while people are inside the house.

“We hope that these alarms will help to bring crime down in the area.”

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WORLD NEWS

FEBRUARY.12.2007 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

CHINA: Drought

China hots up China experiences extreme water shortage due to climate change Eleanor Morrey Reporter AT LEAST 300,000 people in northwest China are short of drinking water because of unseasonably

warm weather, which officials are linking to climate change.

Parts of Shaanxi, which is in the north-central province of the People’s Republic of China, face drought as January saw the shortest rainfall with as little as 10% of the usual downpour.

The newspaper China Daily has reported that Beijing is experiencing its warmest winter for 30 years. The city is dispelling typical winter scenes as the frozen lakes are melting and trees are blossoming.

The country’s top meteorologist,

Qin Dahe, said the recent dry and warm weather in northern China was related to global warming.

He said: “China is committed to improving energy efficiency, and plans to reduce carbon dioxide and other emissions by 20% in the next five years.”

Mr Qin was China’s representative on an inter-governmental panel on climate change, which last week released a report saying mankind was very likely [approximately 90%] the cause of global climate change.

His comments, at a press conference in Beijing, mark the Chinese government’s first official response to the report’s findings.

President Hu Jintao has also got involved in the debate stating that “climate change is not just an environmental issue but also a development issue”.

But he warned that for China, a rapidly developing nation, to completely transform its energy structure and use clean energy “would need a lot of money”.

Although China is trying to develop alternative energy sources, it is still the world’s biggest consumer and producer of coal.

It is expected to surpass America as the world’s largest emitter of greenhouse gases within the next decade.

Has football violence gone too far?

CITALY: Football team COMPUTER: Not well

Online attack Matthew Horwood Reporter AN ESSENTIAL part of the Internet’s backbone has been targeted by online attackers.

Thirteen core servers that control the way information moves around the Internet have experienced a hi-tech Distributed Denial of Service (DDOS) attack.

A DOS attack occurs when a computer floods another with a barrage of useless information, but a DDOS attack, which often involves thousand of computers, has the capability to bring the internet to its knees.

While most attacks are simply to cause mischief, often attackers will blackmail a company with the threat of crashing a public facingwebsite if they refuse to

pay up.

John Crain, Chief Technical officer with the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN), warned that while the attack was serious the average Internet user wouldn’t have been affected.

He said: “Two of the root servers suffered badly, although they did not completely crash; some of the others also saw heavy traffic.”

“A denial-of-service attack is a bit like fourteen fat men trying to get into an elevator - nothing can move,” explained Graham Cluley, senior consultant at security firm Sophos.

Research last year revealed that holes in the internet’s addressing system could leave 85% of the internet vulnerable to attacks if online attackers combined their efforts.

James Temperton Reporter ITALIAN FOOTBALL is fast descending into total crisis this week due to the death of a policeman during massive riots.

All matches nationwide have been suspended indefinitely after Filippo Raciti was killed at a match between Catania and Palermo on February 2.

Thousands of people turned out to mourn the officer at his burial in Sicily.

Crisis talks on how to combat violence in Italian football are under way already, with the Italian government warning that if the fighting does not stop, the football will.

This comes just a few months after Italy won the 2006 World Cup on the back of a massive match-fixing scandal that saw Juventus relegated and a number of other clubs docked points.

38-year-old Raciti was struck in the face by a small explosive while attempting to deal with fighting outside the stadium. He was quickly taken to hospital but died from his injuries. A postmortem later revealed that the cause of death was a heavy blow to the liver.

There had been major concerns over safety at the match, leading to an increase in security outside and inside the stadium. However, the match was

suspended after an hour when tear gas used by the police to disperse rioters outside the stadium drifted onto the pitch.

The fighting broke out because Palermo fans could not get into Catania’s Stadio Massimino until the second half, reported ANSA news agency.

After the match, fans continued to fight running battles with police on the streets outside the stadium and around a hundred people were treated for injuries, while dozens with lesser injuries were taken to local hospitals.

“Deaths unfortunately form part of this huge movement which is football and which the forces of order are not always able to control,” Antonio Matarrese, president of Italy’s Professional Football League Clubs Association, was quoted as saying. He was simultaneously calling for the suspension to be lifted and for matches to be allowed to continue.

Prime Minister Romano Prodi condemned Matarresse’s comments as ‘madness’.

For once, British football security is being held up as an example, as some people in Italy call for authorities to adopt a more British approach, with all-seater stadiums, better CCTV coverage and more cooperation between law-enforcement and league clubs.

World News in brief Victoria Lane Reporter

River rescue A CANADIAN has been rescued from the Niagara River after crossing it to avoid bank charges.

Wayne Kingwell spent five hours in a rubber raft in an attempt to avoid the $85 charge if he was to mail the payments.

Kingwell makes the river crossing each month, as he is not allowed to use the bridge due to legal disputes with the Canadian government.

When he was rescued, Kingwell was carrying more than $3000 cash.

Rocky erected A SERBIAN village, that is only ever in the news due to regular landslides and flooding, is set to erect a huge statue of Rocky Balboa.

The statue shall symbolise the ability for Zitiste to bounce back every time they are knocked down after a natural disaster.

A spokesman stated the village had thought long and hard about who would best represent the village and Rocky was chosen as “he is a character that never gives up…always winning through”.

Bite of Barrymore A PUB has been criticised for selling a dish called ‘Barrymore Pie - Faggots swimming in gravy’.

The name refers to the death of Stuart Lubbock who was found drowned in Michel Barrymore’s home in 2001.

Peter Towler, the pub landlord sells about 100 ‘Barrymore Pies’ a week and explained to the Mirror that he was not going to be bullied by the complaints.

Towler stated: “I suppose I could change its name to ‘Politically Correct Pie’.”

Campaigners are outraged.

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

FEBRUARY.12.2007

freewords the voice of gairrhydd

Est. 1972

Parliament: we must make it work

I

n theory Student Parliament is a great idea. Having representatives from all walks of student life sounds like democratic perfection: issues could be debated with input from all sides and we’d have no more gaps in the policy book because everyone would get to say what was important to them.

Unfortunately this idea is not going to be easy to put into practice.

It’s going to take a lot of hard, meticulous work amending the constitution and getting the finer details of the idea exactly right. Failure to do this could be devastating for the democratic structures of the Union: it’d be open to loopholes and could easily be manipulated by those groups of students with certain agendas.

It’s also clearly going to be difficult to get AU clubs and societies on board. Yes, there is the argument that they already attend monthly meetings with their respective sabbatical officers, but can a two hour, highly politicised, AGM-style parliament really compare to ten minutes of talk about upcoming events and announcements?

The only way to get them there is by punishing those who don’t participate and the most likely way this will be done is to freeze the budgets of those clubs who don’t turn up regularly. Some may say this is a little harsh; consider if we had a No To Politics society, a group of students who enjoyed being depoliticised – would it be right to punish them for not attending a parliament?

The answer, dare we say it, is yes, because there is no other way to make this student parliament idea work. And the Union needs to make this idea work. We need a better, more representative system of democracy in the Union because the one we’ve got at the moment is simply not good enough. It may appear to run well – the Tuesday night meetings of student council are often a delight to attend – but the discussions that are had in the small group of people are in no way an echo of the wider student voice. This must be changed.

It will take a lot of work to do what needs to be done and it will rile a whole lot of people who don’t think they care about Union politics, but the system we have got has to evolve into something that works better for the masses. And hopefully, in time, members of Cardiff Students’ Union, the entire student population of Cardiff University, will be thankful that someone had the unenviable task of building what may come to be known as Student Parliament.

All the rage

With global warming, bird flu and terrorism threatening our way of life, Jason Jones suggests we should look at the little things in life... and remember why we hate them

I

’m a firm advocate of gun control. Not because I believe guns to be inherently evil things that should be melted down and turned into designer candle-holders for the underprivileged children of Third World lesbian separatists.

No, it’s simply that without Britain’s restrictive policies on lethal weapon ownership, I’d be writing this from a prison cell, serving multiple life sentences for the slaughter of several bank managers, numerous receptionists, dozens of traffic wardens, hundreds of charity canvassers, a wide array of shop ‘assistants’, assorted bar staff, a fair few bin men, all babies, a sprinkling of old age pensioners, most teenagers and the man in the flat upstairs who thinks it’s perfectly reasonable to start Hoovering at 2am while singing along to show tunes.

Without Britain’s restrictive policies on lethal weapon owenership, I’d be writing this from a prison cell My political views are liberal enough to get me past the ‘-ism’ checklist for any middle-class dinner party. I don’t favour corporal punishment – my policy is never to hit a small child unless it hits me first – and I’m against capital punishment. But while I’d vigorously argue the moral case against hanging a sociopathic serial killer, when I’m standing in the ‘Express Cash-Only Five Items Or Less’ aisle behind an old lady who quite blatantly flaunts seven items in her basket, can’t decide which two to give up, and wants to pay with the contents of her small-change jar, I’m overwhelmed by the desire to pull out a rapid-fire rifle and blow a hole through her blue rinse. Oh, and I’d take out the skinhead by the entrance flogging The Big Issue at the same time.

We’ve heard a lot about Road Rage, when a minor incident creates a disproportionate reaction, like ramming the offending motorist’s car, strangling them with the seat belt, shoving a burning rag in the petrol tank and then spending the following decade stalking their family down one by one until there’s no trace of the inconsiderate sod left. Well, I suffer from Pavement

ILLUSTRATION: ANDREW STYLES

OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

7

Rage (when people in a crowded street space stop in their tracks without warning and then glare at whichever poor fool collides with them); Escalator Rage (everyone knows you should STAND ON THE RIGHT! How hard can that be?); Trolley Rage (put an otherwise responsible adult in charge of a supermarket trolley and they immediately abandon all notions of careful and considerate driving, double-parking by cold meats, pulling U-turns in front of dairy products and allowing their toddlers to steer at high speed past fruit and veg); Mobile Rage (once, only homeless schizophrenics walked around the streets talking to themselves. Now everyone’s at it. It’s a mania – a pathological fear of being momentarily uncontactable); TouchTone Phone Rage (“To hear irritating muzak, press one. To get the wrong extension, press two. To be bounced around a labyrinthine phone exchange, press three. To speak to a courteous operator who will put you through to the right person, forget it. This call has cost you 88p per nanosecond. Thank you”); Party Rage (when everyone you like at a party is at the other end of the room and you’re trapped between two of the most tedious individuals on the

planet heatedly debating something with that brand of pompous expertise peculiar to people who know nothing about the topic); and several other rages nobody has even thought of yet.

I don’t favour corporal punishment - my policy is never to hit a small child unless it hits me first The truth is I’m prone to bouts of Life Rage, the governing law of which is that every selfish or inconsiderate action causes an unequal and irrational overreaction. Life Rage can strike at any time. You’re strolling through the park on a beautiful sunny day when a herd of middle-aged, overweight rollerbladers hurtle past, forcing you to dive for cover. Don’t you consider, just for a moment, racing after, wrestling their leader to the ground and shoving a rollerblade where the sun don’t shine?

Perhaps you think I’m blowing

these things out of all proportion.

That’s the whole point. It’s the small stuff that makes life so miserable, isn’t it? And while things like carelessness, stupidity and lack of consideration for others may not generally be debated by the UN as problems of international significance, there’s not much I can personally do about world peace, starvation or the state of the environment.

I was violently opposed to apartheid in South Africa, yet somehow I doubt my refusal to buy their oranges contributed to the toppling of an oppressive regime. But when some thoughtless prat pushes past me in the queue for the cashpoint, then spends the next five minutes searching for the card and trying to remember the PIN, I could very easily whip out an AK47 and blow what passes for brains all over Barclays.

That’s the problem with this country – you can never find a lethal weapon when you need one. At such times I try to remain calm by dreaming up advertising slogans for the gun lobby. “The right to bear arms means never having to say sorry.” “There’s no gun control like no gun control.” Or how about simply: “Eat lead, sucker!”? Works for me.

8 gairrhydd

OPINION

FEBRUARY.12.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

No smoking, lots of fire

Chris Croissant

O

n April 2, a smoking ban will be introduced throughout Wales, to be followed eventually by a ban on smoking in all enclosed public places, before similar laws in England.

Health Minister Brian Gibbons said the assembly government was introducing the ban as soon as possible to improve the quality of health of people in Wales. Yet there is anger among landlords that the final details announced only last week - suggest the preparations have been rushed.

The fixed penalties that can be imposed include a £200 fine for premises that do not put up no smoking signs. Not only this, but landlords have not had enough time to make preparations to provide an outside smoking area for their smoking customers. Philip Lay, retail director for Welsh-based brewers SA Brains and Company, said: "There are a lot of people, particularly the small independent traders, where this is going to put a really serious economic pressure on them and they're very worried because there are going to be pub closures as a result of this." It seems like just another ploy for the council to make money out of its taxpayers.

The risks of second-hand smoke have been known for some time. First Minister Rhodri Morgan announced: "This is why the National Assembly voted in 2003 to seek powers to ban smoking in enclosed public places.”

Chief medical officer for Wales Tony Jewell stated that the ban would avert more than 400 deaths a year in Wales from lung cancer, chronic heart disease, strokes and respiratory disease.

Certainly, things will never be the same again. As much as I agree that the unpleasant smell of your clothes that greets you in the morning is not a welcomed one, there is much more to consider. What I have always failed to see is how non-smokers only seem to consider themselves in this argument and don’t really think outside the box.

I can understand how they don’t want to be exposed to second hand smoke.

But at what cost? When we are no longer free to choose our lifestyles and have to follow a law that squeezes us all into the same mould, then surely we should take heed of the power that we are handing to politicians.

There are already many restrictions on places where you can smoke, so why deny people the right to smoke in those establishments in which they still can. I agree that restaurants and workplaces are inappropriate places to smoke, but everywhere?

Indeed, it would be far more appropriate to have public places that are only for smokers and those that are only for non-smokers. What would make me laugh would be to see a smoking-only pub where the nonsmokers have to drink outside. But what this system does allow is for people to then have the right to choose if they want to be there. To make a law dictating this is absolute nonsense.

Landlords have not had enough time to make preparations for their smoking customers If this is a pattern that is encouraged by citizens then soon we will all be one universal being - exactly the same and glad of it. Everyone will work nine to five, eat GM food because it’s cheap, select the eye colour they want their children to have and then drown because the polar caps have melted and they do not know how to swim. They were too busy breathing in the clean air.

How long do you think this clean air will last? In Ireland, where a ban is already enforced, there has been a huge rise in the use of patio heaters to cater for extradited smokers.

Personally, I think if you want to smoke then you simply have to brace yourself against the cold, but of course there are some who do not.

Yet there is a serious environmental concern here. It is claimed that Britain's greenhouse gas emissions are already up by 380,000 tonnes a year due to such devices. A total ban is sure to see a huge increase in the greenhouse emissions that these heaters are pumping out, thus contributing to an already irreversible change that we have made to the environment. Labour's Desmond Turner, MP for Brighton Kemptown, wants to ban them completely, calling them a "waste of energy". He told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: "The use of patio heaters accounts for about one million tonnes of CO2 emissions a year, which immediately cancels out, for instance, the savings made by government changes to vehicle taxations."

It is all cause and effect. There may also be an increase in drinking on the streets, as well as date rape as smokers leave their drinks to light up.

Of course, there is obviously a strong argument for the health risk for

both smokers and non-smokers alike.

I am constantly reminded every time I buy tobacco that ‘Smoking Kills’, as if I hadn’t realised already. The government, it would seem, is genuinely concerned about our health, rather than simply trying to turn us all into clones. Ian Scale, a public health officer in Wales specialising in tobacco control, said, "It would protect everybody from the effects of other people's smoke and has a knock-on effect”. He added: "We protect you from asbestos, make you wear seatbelts - this is a safety measure in the same way."

There are similar feelings felt by pub owners in Cardiff’s high street.

One of the oldest city centre pubs in Cardiff became a smoke-free zone when it reopened for the first Six Nations rugby match after a make over. The Cottage in St Mary Street is more than 100 years old, making it one of the oldest drinking establishments in the city centre. Kirkland Davies, retail operations manager for Brains (which The Cottage is licensed to), said: “Whenever the smoking issue arises, it is guaranteed to cause debate, but we have a clear policy of offering our customers a choice."

As much good as there is in the smoking ban, there are clearly many

ILLUSTRATION: ANDREW STYLKES

It is the end of an era. The ever-growing watchful eye of the law has cast its beacon of light over smokers and cut them down. Some may cheer, but others weep… Or, rather, splutter through fits of coughing

inadequacies that have been overlooked. Where I stand on the matter is uncertain. I will certainly miss walking into a pub and breathing in that smoky-beer atmosphere. I will also miss the dodgy old locals crouched in the corner who have clearly gone past the point of caring. A smokeless pub with its sterile aroma reminds me of

laboratories. Yet I also realize the benefits it offers for my health and the health of others. I will certainly smoke less and my clothes will no longer stink of smoke. If it makes the non-smokers happy, at the cost of our personal liberty and damaging the environment further, then so be it. But I may resent you for it.

gairrhydd 9

OPINION

FEBRUARY.12.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Parlez-vouz anglais?

The fact that fewer people are studying foreign languages could lead to an ignorant nation. Lorna Hull argues that learning a second tongue is vital

I

n 2004 the government announced their decision to make the learning of a foreign language at GCSE level nonmandatory. Originally, as part of one’s make up of GCSE qualifications, it was obligatory to study at least one modern foreign language.

This was a logical rule; maths, english and science were must-haves and so was an understanding of basic french/spanish/german. In this day and age, it seems nothing short of ridiculous to remove a language from the list. Indeed, I find my knowledge of the Spanish language and basic ability in French considerably more useful in everyday life than Pythagoras’ theorem. After all, we are living in an evershrinking world where different cultures and different languages are all mixed up together.

It has always appeared to be one of those very British traits - “Two languages? In one head? Preposterous!” even years ago when grammar schools insisted on shoving Latin down your throat repeatedly each day. But maybe all the shoving of an outdated, almost unused language was enough to convince people to stay away from all languages forever more. It is doubtful, however, that in today’s language classes the learning of useful phrases and basic, slow-paced grammar could create so much pain.

But a foreign language is a challenge to grasp, and with the availability of such subjects as media studies, why bother with the extra work when

you can get a GCSE stress-free? I have no intention of belittling media studies in any way, each subject is as worthy as any other, but what on Earth is Britain going to do with several thousand media graduates but no language qualifications to be seen?

We will become a country of limited knowledge unless people stop taking the easy way out Lord Dearing, who has carried out several major studies on education for successive governments, agrees that the decision to make languages optional at GCSE was not a good one, and has created a theory to explain why students are choosing not to take language subjects: they are perceived to be difficult and teachers in fear of low grades and a lower place in the school league tables discourage pupils from taking them. Once again, school officials believe the status of the school to be of greater importance than the education of the students. The government feel that the decrease is due to the syllabuses being irrelevant and uninteresting to teenagers and feel that a restructure is necessary. Personally, I do not agree with this, but find the first theory a lot more convincing. Either way, it is time things changed.

The majority of European countries teach English as standard, and their

citizens speak it as a second language.

This has given us the impression that we don’t need to learn their language.

Laziness such as this will eventually lead to Britons being viewed as ignorant (even more so than they are now).

It’s not only languages which are slowly fading into a distant memory.

The University of Exeter was forced to close its Chemistry and Music departments in 2005, alongside the closure of its Italian department. This was due to the fact that they couldn’t receive funding; places were no longer being filled. If this continues to happen all over Britain, it seems that its people will be left behind. We will become a country of limited knowledge and limited achievements unless people stop taking the easy way out.

If I’d begun the learning process years before, I could be practically fluent by now

I resent the fact that if I’d begun the learning process years before, I could be practically fluent by now. In reality, I found it too great a challenge to take a language at degree level. Instead, I hope my A-level will allow me to take a holiday in Spain without feeling

le gçsé?

I strongly believe (and I don’t think I’m alone here) that children need to begin to be taught foreign languages at a young age. It is at primary school where they will find it most interesting and easy to grasp. I was taught absolutely nothing until year seven, by which time my prime age for picking up a language was long gone. Spanish didn’t begin until year nine. generation will become increasingly ignorant of society in general.

I can’t understand why some teachers are trying to look after children by wrapping them up in cotton wool and protecting them from the complexities of the real world. I think children should be given the opportunity and freedom to expand their minds and look beyond the surface of human existence.

Othello could be removed from the Key Stage Three Syllabus. Dave Menon objects

T

o my disgust, teachers across the UK are campaigning to remove Shakespeare play Othello from the key stage three curriculum. Is this to be or not to be; that is the question. I sincerely hope not, because Othello is a fantastic play, which tackles serious issues in our current social climate.

Despite this, however, teachers have claimed the play is not suitable for 1314 year-olds because themes such as

sexual jealousy and racism are too sensitive for children in this age group.

A report, conducted by England’s curriculum and exams body, the QCA, read: “Many stated that the topic of racism was not appropriate for key stage three study and the theme of sexual jealousy was widely felt to be beyond the experience of year nine children.”

Moreover, in a poll conducted by the QCA, a staggering 55% of teachers and local authority advisers objected to

utterly embarrassed about my ignorance. I hope that in the future children will receive a more urgent education, as well as have a greater determination than the people of my generation, in order to bring our country back up to an acceptable level.

the inclusion of Othello in the key stage three curriculum.

In my view, this is complete nonsense. I encountered Othello for the first time in Year nine and perfectly understood the themes of sexual jealousy, racism, cultural stereotyping, the treatment of minorities, love and betrayal. In fact, I couldn’t get enough of the play.

It would be a tragedy in itself to remove Othello from the curriculum.

If this action is taken, I fear our new

The race issue has reached the forefront of the media Furthermore, I strongly feel the recent Celebrity Big Brother scandal shouldn’t be used as an excuse to withdraw Othello from the curriculum. If anything, I think this controversial issue has actually made many of us realise that racism still exists.

Since tempers flared in the Big Brother house, the race issue has reached the forefront of the media, politics and public interest in the UK. And 14 year-olds nationwide have probably watched the news and realised that racism, even in milder forms, is part and parcel of humanity. So why remove a play which confronts and exposes the truth about society?

I would also like to pose another question. What 14 year-old doesn’t know anything about sex? At primary school, before I reached the age of 11, my class-mates looked up sexual expletives in the dictionary and teased others who didn’t know what the naughty words meant.

And more to the point, I bet many 14 year-olds watch daytime soaps like Hollyoaks and EastEnders which contain many direct references to sexual jealousy. In fact, just a few days ago, two lads who both had girlfriends snogged one another in Hollyoaks. If that’s not related to sexual jealousy, I’d like to know what is.

More importantly, with reference to rising divorce rates and teenage pregnancies, it is unlikely that sexual jealousy is beyond the experience of most 14-year-olds.

With the latest advances in technology, it is not always possible to protect teenagers from issues such as racism and sex. So removing Othello from the curriculum would probably not make a difference.

So there you have it. But what’s so good about Othello, you might ask?

It’s an action-packed play with plenty of fascinating characters in a plot which should keep you guessing from start to finish. With twists and turns at every corner, it’s certainly worth watching or reading.

10 gairrhydd

OPINION

?

FEBRUARY.12.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

? ? The Ridler ??

Love thy Neighbour

?

AL-KHAYAT’S VISION: How the parliament could look, says Joe, if we had the resources of Sweden

I

t’s great to be around at this time of year. The antiEnglish sentiment, the base passions and nervous rivalry that one puts along with any sporting event where the two old rivals play each other is a joyous thing to behold. There’s nothing like being in a country where you are made acutely aware of how much the locals hate your birth nation.

Welcome to Wales and the Six Nations.

I’ve got nothing against it, don’t get me wrong. A bit of passionate support is a good thing and I don’t mind getting a bit of a friendly ribbing for being English, essentially because it feels that much better when we beat the boys in red. And I’d rather see a good game more than anything else.

It’s just hard to understand just how people can get so utterly onesided about it. I live in Cardiff, this is my third year now, I love the city and find the locals to be a pretty sound bunch of people.

If I didn’t like it, or couldn’t accept the fact that there are going to be swathes of Welsh fans around, I’d be a bit thick in still living here. I don’t mind the banter, its good fun. If only Welsh fans could take the same spirit.

I’ve had many great conversations about rugby with Wales fans, but I’ve never once flipped or shouted or got stressed because of something somebody has said about my team. What’s the point?

Let them do the talking on the pitch.

I have, however, met with some much more aggressive responses from Welsh fans if you so much as dare to suggest that their team might be a little bit rubbish; only in jest of course.

There are stories in Wales and Scotland of England fans getting beaten up, and the general response just seems to be one of quiet acceptance. Granted it happens the other way around in England, but it’s the accepting attitude that seems to be much more prevelant here. ‘Well, if you’re going to support your own team that’s what you should expect.’ Get lost. It’s not acceptable anywhere and it never should be.

We all love a good game; it matters, and so it should. I wish Wales all the luck they can get, and hope that they need it against England, because I hope we win.

Proud nations are no bad thing.

But learn how to laugh at your own team.

It’s one of the essential skills to be an England fan, especially if you follow cricket.

Yey or ney? Yey The Ridler didn’t like student council.

He likes this parliament idea though.

A

new movement is passing through the union. Reform has finally begun to come to the body with arguably the most latent potential in the entire building. I’ll break the suspense now, its not the still somewhat rubbish burger bar in Solus, although that should be next on the agenda. It’s

student council, soon to be student parliament, a an idea this column covered in an early edition last semester For once, this isn’t just a half baked re-branding exercise by the union either. This is a serious overhaul involving an extensive bit of strenuous constitutional re-writing. My advice

would be to drop a few jokes in there, but I doubt that’ll be well received.

The new parliament will consist of a group of students taken largely from the council, and a representative from every AU club and society at the university along with academic representatives from every course. This would lead to a parliament of over 200 stu-

The way the Ministry of Defence has handled the issue is a disgrace, no matter how you see the individual facts

I

f there is one message that has come out of the last week of news it’s that accidents happen in war. News services have recanted that mantra ad nauseam. Every known manner of specialist, expert, serving officer or rent-aquote former general has been wheeled out to add weight to the argument, all in an attempt to quell the backlash and anger at the death and subsequent cover up (which the MOD denies) of Lance Corporal Matty Hull near Basra in March 2003.

Of course, these people are right.

Accidents happen in all walks of life.

The difference is when I delete the finished column a minute before deadline nobody gets killed. In fact, nobody aside from my editor and me even get particularly flustered. If you mess up a piece of coursework, if your lecturers forget their notes, you carry on. Only in a few professions, heart surgery for example, are lives put at risk by human error.

The military, by its very nature, is another one. It is understandable that errors are going to be made, and when

you’re making misjudgements at 400 knots, 5,000 feet up in the air and with laser guided rockets strapped under you there are going to be fatalities.

So, when oxymoronic friendly-fire incidents occur, people can, to an extent, understand. People understand human error, people understand panic, they understand fear. When the situation is happening right there in front of you, with shells flying around, fuel running down and the potential to have your gentle shuffle from the mortal coil turned into a firey and sudden departure; then people can understand mistakes.

Things that people can’t understand are cover-ups, lying to dead servicemen’s families and why mistakes can be made in the twenty-first century and treated as if there is just nothing to be learned from the sacrifice of a British serviceman.

Accidents happen and every time they happen it is essential that there is a full and open inquiry, that the family is fully co-operated with and that politics and practicalities so that 4 years later the newly-released video and transcripts are not released via a daily

dents meeting once a month 8 months of the year.

Obviously there have been worries expressed at this plan. People worried that there will not be as much or as easy a chance to speak, worries that there will be block voting, worries about plenty of legitimate concerns.

A lot of these concerns will, I think, prove to be unfounded. Lets be honest, the idea of the societies bloc voting is pretty unlikely; if we manage to get the Israeli and Palestinian societies working together I think we will have achieved something that transcends the lowly world of student politics.

Anyway, there should be numbers so that no one of the four principle groups in parliament can pass any legislation without at least some support from another group. It’s not foolproof, but it is pretty damned solid.

Moreover, the benefits it will bring to the student population will be great in terms of representation, and equally positive in terms of the legitimacy and therefore power to act in helping the student body for the executive.

Representatives in parliament would cover every form of student life, and for those worried about talking in front of greater numbers of people there would be working groups and committees in place as well, including the current standing councils, although they would only be called when they were required.

Having examined the student parliament proposals it seems like potentially the biggest step in representation the union has taken for years. Its time now for the rest of the student body to decide the future at the Annual General Meeting on 1 March. It will be interesting to see how the results go. red top whilst the families have been told that a tape doesn’t even exist.

The way that the Ministry of Defence has handled the issue is shameful, and there is no question of that no matter how you see the individual facts. Acquiescence to the USA completely in the face of the interests of the inquiry and the families wishes is a disgrace.

Moreover, the government needs to look long and hard at spending on technology that could have saved L/Cpl Hull’s life, especially interoperability and communication between the British and American forces. If we want to travel the world from the turret of a challenger and with the USA our constant companion then some political and financial issues should be put to one side to think about being able to work with them.

That day in 2003 the controller on the ground thought that there were no friendlies in the area, or so he informed the pilots. If there is another friendly fire incident, and there will be, it‘d be nice to think that it would not be for this reason again, and that the government would co-operate fully with the inquiry and fight for the family.

If you ask your soldiers to fight your wars and lay down their lives at the hand of your chosen allies, it’s the least you owe them.

gairrhydd 11

LETTERS

FEBRUARY.12.2007 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com The letters page is for anyone who wants to have an opinion on anything...

I KNOW EVERYONE else knows this but I just have to say it: Student Letting Agencies are appalling!! The agency we are with are completely unbelievable!

When I moved into my room I began to realise was that my room was not only freezing cold, it was damp! I knew this from the obvious damp patches in the three outer walls, paint flaking off and worst of all, the black mould that someone had attempted to conceal with my chest of drawers. The first call I made was at the beginning of October where I complained of the damp but mainly the mould. The next day, a man came and cleaned off the mould and re-painted over it in a most careless way. Although satisfied that the black cancer on my wall had been removed, I knew it would be back because bleach and a tin of paint do not stop damp. Mould thrives and grows in damp conditions.

The cold and damp got worse as late October brought in more rain. I would climb into a damp bed, wear damp and smelly clothes and worst of all, breathe in the damp air - this was particularly horrendous on rainy days. At the same time as this, the three bedrooms at the front of our house were overwhelmed by the howl of the wind. The sound could be heard through the whole house. We would call every day to ask the agency to send someone to have a look at it. “We’ll call you back”, “Can I take a message, we’ll call you back” were all we ever got.

In the beginning of November, my family passed through and we went for a meal. My Dad, who is a surveyor, had a look at my room and told me that all three walls were damp due to a rotten pipe that runs all around the extension. This explained the damp on rainy

Emma Keeble

Socialist workers can kiss my face

I snowballed the VC in the mouth

Ridler needs to hit the spelling bee circuit

There’s a hairy Greek monster in my bathroom

PEACE! PANOU, PEACE!

Our vibrations were getting nasty, but why?

I would like Dave M’s children. All of them.

February kicks ass Vegetarians hate snow

Dont fish wiv a fork Polar bears are not fuckin cute. They will rip your face off. And they should

Please note: new number

Dear gair rhydd,

days; the rain would collect in the pipe and splash onto the sides of my walls.

My Dad immediately rang the next morning and four days later, a man came to unblock the pipe. This did absolutely no good at all.

By the 21st November, and several phone calls complaining of my damp, I emailed the agency with a detailed account of my problem along with photographs. I went in in person to the management office and the manager said that they had already called a surveyor to check the damp and to see what needs doing. After six days, no surveyor came; so I rang the agency and they insisted that a surveyor had come and they were awaiting the report. This was a complete lie as the surveyor actually came eight days later. We then had to wait for the “report to come through.”

This palaver took hours off my university work - an utterly ghastly and unnecessary series of events. On the very last day of term, exactly one hour before I was due to leave to go home; I received a call. It was the agency saying that they had organised plans to start work the following Monday. I was so happy, slightly suspicious but contented that something was going to be done.

I often rang up during the holidays to monitor their progress. When I returned in January - only half of the three walls had been done. And although the room felt less damp, on particularly cold and wet days, I still have to put on very cold and damp clothes.

Letting agencies for students are abysmal and more support is needed from the university in ensuring that we can live in habitable rooms. I even suggest only using the university letting agency.

text: 07813753762

Damp disaster

@

letter of the week

Shoddy Solus bouncers Part II

Fourth year blues

Dear gair rhydd,

Dear gair rhydd,

AFTER SEEING THE letter about the union bouncers in this weeks gair rhydd I thought I should voice my own problems that I have had recently with them. I've already emailed the Access All Areas team about it but no reply as of yet.

On Friday I was thrown/dragged out for breaking up a fight. Obviously any attempts to explain this were not listened too. The bouncers just replied with ‘shut the fuck up’ and showed an uninterest in the truth. I was then given a two week ban from the union and the Taf and had my NUS scanned in.

Obviously I want this over-turned ready for Fun Factory and even if it isn't I will try to get in anyway. This bouncer isn't going to ruin my night out and he shouldn't be allowed to ruin anyone elses with his roughness, disregard and ridiculous bans. I will be going in to the Union tomorrow to complain also.

Perhaps these situations should be looked into? I must also add that it is not all of the bouncers. The chaps on the door and the lady inside are always polite and don't look down on students.

I HAVE FOURTH YEAR blues. No, I am not repeating a year, thanks very much, my degree is actually four years long and, shock horror, there are some that actually last five or even seven years. Am I the only the student over 20 these days?

As you can tell, I am mildly grumpy about suddenly feeling very old. I have recently returned from a year abroad, my third year equivalent, where my group of friends was multinational and multi-aged, myself in fact being the youngest.

(Whoop!)

However, back in the “’Diff” (since when has it been called that?)

I confess that I am feeling my age. I now live with my boyfriend, who has what we term a “grown-up job”, i.e. he is no longer a waiter, I do laundry most days and quite enjoy cleaning our little flat. Instead of mad drunken nights out with trolley incidents, pulling randoms and the odd bucket of sick, I now prefer a quiet night in with a glass of wine.

What is happening to me? The comforting thing is that I know that I am not alone. Most of my friends are now in serious relationships and some are also living with their respective partners (we do dinner parties now, help!) But when out and

Robert Evans

More of the same...

Dear gair rhydd, IN RESPONSE TO the letter last week regarding the bouncers attitude in Solus, I feel I have to throw in my opinion. As both a student and a bouncer, I get to see both sides of what is often a very misunderstood job. A bouncer's first concern is always the safety of his team followed by the safety of innocent punters.

As both a student and a bouncer, I get to see both sides of what is often a very misunderstood job When a fight develops, especially in nightclub atmosphere, often the only effective course of action is to eject everyone even remotely connected to the incident before it can (and will) spread. People wrongly ejected will not have a good night, but at least noone is heading home in an ambulance.

Bouncers shouldn't take it personally, they have to do it all the time and wouldn't have too many friends if they did.

However, I have to agree that the team in Solus have some serious issues with their working practices. In short, they just don't seem to care. This apathy I think stems from a general enmity towards the student lifestyle (believe me, I love the job but I don't intend to still be doing it when I'm 40) as well as the fact that we can be a handful when drunk. Still, I do think that the response of the team in Solus

can be disproportionate and unprofessional, especially with the language that staff use.

By far the most shocking incident I have been involved in concerned not violence but health and safety. At 9pm at Come Play, I reported to the staff that some genius had blocked half the cubicles in the bloke's loo's with toilet roll, and these units were in danger of overflowing. Two hours later, nothing had been done, the toilets looked like a third world country and the smell was repulsive. Again approaching the team, I got the reply 'What do you want me to do about it?'

Honestly, if I had been in charge of security that night, I would've fired him on the spot. If I'd been a police officer, I've have shut the place down.

Final year student, 22.

Sexual sheep Dear gair rhydd, HOLLIE CLEMENCE’S ARTICLE on p22 of last week's gairr rhydd about the implications of genetic engineering the sexuality of sheep was based on a completely false premise.

It was never the intention of the researchers to try and 'cure' homosexuality. In fact the aim of the experiment was to investigate the role of the brain in sheep's sexual partner selection.

There was never any attempt, let alone success, in changing the sexuality of an animal. This is a fact. Indeed the Sunday Times ran a similarly inaccurate story and was forced to publish

about in uni on my own I cannot help but feel a fuddy-duddy: I wear sensible and practical clothes now and find myself disapproving of girls in non-existent skirts. Nevertheless, determined to remain young carefree rebels, the girls and I embarked on a “huge” night out last week. Queuing up for what would have been my first night out in the students union since coming back from my year abroad, I was flattered to be chatted up by a young fresher, who had, he drunkenly muffled, just turned 18years old. I felt a little dazed but it may have been the drink. I was a whopping five years older than him.

Somewhat disconcerted that the entire union would be full of people like him rather than people like us, we headed off into town. We ended up at Flares, which is not something I’m proud of but at least an establishment where we all felt remarkably young compared to our forty year old rivals shaking their wobbly booty on the dance floor (shudder).

So you see my dilemma. What is to be done?

Do I become one of those cringing people trying to be young and “hip” or do I accept my fate, and tell myself that all people in their final year feel old? I think I’ll opt for the latter, and look forward to being the young, sprightly tot in the very looming, daunting world of work.

Grumpy Fourth year student

this correction on 28/1/07.

The research is aimed at understanding the role of the brain in sexual attraction. The researchers deny that they were trying to “cure” homosexuality in sheep, a statement that is backed up by their published studies.

The research included a study that limited androgen in sheep to determine if this resulted in same partner preference.

The researchers also stressed that contrary to our report they have had no success in altering the sexual preference of the animals. The research is funded by the National Institutes of Health and is not being conducted to improve farm productivity.

The authors of The Times report were not science specialists and admitted that in the contraction and said, “we should have ensured that the story was checked by the science editor before publication. We apologise for the errors and any subsequent confusion."

So, just to 'ram' home a point, the tests do not "echo those undertaken in the early 1990s by neuroscientist Simon LeVay", nor do these experiments "appear to confirm that sexuality is, in fact, biologically determined."

Nowhere in the Oregonian researchers' work is there any mention the potential that "the procedure could be transferred to humans."

But after these false assertions, it's just two sexually ambiguous shakes of a lamb's tail and Hollie can start talking about such student favourites as Nazi eugenics, the Evil American Military and Section 28.

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gairrhydd

POLITICS

FEBRUARY.12.2007 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

Still only human Andy Rennison Political Editor

P

oliticians rarely seem human.

What we see of them when we flick on our TVs or open our newspapers, we have seen a hundred times. The mechanical sound bite, clad in the inoffensive suit, rounded off by the obligatory nod.

When attempts are made to break out of the shell, they are met with only semi-deserved cynicism – Blair’s birthday photos of him casually strumming a guitar shine in example.

It is hard to separate the person from the post. Whereas many with high public profiles – actors, musicians – have the spotlight focused on their personal lives, politicians rarely make the headlines for anything but their professional mistakes. But this is an unhealthy situation.

Last week, former Labour MP Fiona Jones died of alcoholism, just shy of her 50th birthday.

A decade ago, she stood on the shoulder of the new Prime Minister, one of New Labour’s heroines, posing with her fellow female revolutionaries as they prepared to enter their Parliament.

But her career quickly began plummeting down from the dizzy highs of landslide success. Allegations of fraud stripped Jones of her seat two years later, and although she regained it through appeal the process took its toll.

The result was her drinking, which intensified following her defeat in the 2001 general election, a loss made inevitable by divided Labour supporters in her constituency.

From that point her failure drove Jones deeper into alcoholism until her liver gave up the fight last week, the media having until now left her to

13

With the Home Office in disarray and the Home Secretary under constant pressure, Polly Lord looks at the current issue of Britain’s overcrowded prison service

A

DESK: the pressure of politics leads some to the bottle wither in their wake.

Jones’s friends, family and colleagues have pointed to the intense local and often national media pressure around the time of her legal battles.

Her private battle with the bottle was not helped by the established drinking culture in Westminster, where whisky on the breath was met with customary indifference.

But is it of any great surprise that Parliament is peppered with wellstocked bars considering the daily intensity of their positions?

Not only are ministers in some way responsible for the state of 60 million people, they are under constant scrutiny from an army of journalists desperate to put a politician through the min-

cer.

Criticism is, of course, an inevitable and important part of any political post; those at the highest rung of authority should always be held to account.

But we must remember that they can still fall off the ladder. The government and its failings are increasingly viewed as one single bumbling ogre, rather than a number of individuals.

Consequently, modern critics attack individuals with the ferocity of attacking the whole.

Despite their lofty positions, politicians are, beneath the hackneyed exterior, mere people, and as soon as we forget that we leave them open to a degree of assault that some individuals simply cannot survive.

nother week passes, and so another revelation from the Home Office is announced. The department’s head, John Reid, calmly took it in his stride and simply warned, like your typical landlord in Cathays, to expect more problems.

This rather unsatisfactory response came after a difficult week for Mr Reid and his merry men down at the Home Office.

Following the controversy over his letters to judges asking them to consider more lenient sentences to tackle spiralling inmate numbers, a report out last week claimed that violence in our institutions is up 600% from last year, fuelling the fire over prison overcrowding.

In Mr Reid’s defence, he has had a hectic fortnight. Whereas I have been out pounding around Roath in the pouring rain desperately searching for a house with four bedrooms and a downstairs that doesn’t continually flood, the Home Secretary has been attempting to find homes for hundreds of surplus prisoners.

The prison service has always been a problematic area for New Labour and its Home Office, and now it appears to be cracking under the pressure of weak foundations.

The current issue of overcrowding has been looming on the horizon since before Labour came to power.

But while many proposals have been tabled, from opening old wings to hiring prison ships, little has been

done up until now to abate the approaching storm.

Overcrowding has been often overshadowed by other problems.

The previous Home Secretary Charles Clarke left the system floundering amid a torrent of criticism over the increase in standards and facilities provided to prisoners.

Ironically, the furore a year on is no longer over the availability of cable TVs and expensive gymnasiums but the availability of beds and walls.

The sheer disorganisation within Reid’s department is disconcerting, considering that it is meant to protect our society. His solution, as announced during the summer, is to split his department into one part that deals with security, and another that deals with justice.

REID: putting house in order This proposal is one that many students will identify with as the supreme form of procrastination.

We’ve all been there: books out, breakfast eaten, coffee made, and you sit down to start revision, but decide you can’t possibly begin until the room’s been totally rearranged.

Mr Reid, obviously a student himself at heart, has embraced this philosophy. Rearranging the Home Office’s house will not actually help the present problems facing it.

The lack of stability and organisation within the department is the root of the problem, and unless the overcrowding issue is solved quickly, the two key social principles of security and justice will be severely undermined.

visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

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14 gairrhydd

SCIENCE AND ENVIRONMENT

FEBRUARY.12.2007 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

‘Intelligent’ design

Did Adam and Eve live with the dinosaurs? Is it a worthy enough subject to teach over evolution in the science classroom?

W

e in the UK occasionally laugh at the expense of Americans when we read stories about some backwater school board attempting to insert Biblical creationism into biology classrooms over the scientifically validated theory of Darwinian Evolution.

However, it’s actually difficult for them to do so due to the United States' constitutional separation of church and state. Such a separation does not exist in Britain. Lucky it is then that we do not have the same sort of politically active fundamentalists trying to replace science with ancient H e b r e w myths. Or do we?

Tony “education, education, education” Blair's most visible contribution to education has been the creation of Academies. For a fraction of the cost of setting up a school, an individual can acquire control over it, with the taxpayer paying the rest of the set-up costs and all of the running costs.

Despite being almost entirely funded by the state these schools are not bound by the national curriculum to the extent that other schools are.

Peter Vardy, one such individual setting up Academies, has been called a ‘Christian fundamentalist car dealer’, and has been allowed to determine the ethos and pick governors of several schools that he’s provided less than 10% of the costs for.

The Vardy Academies have been set up to teach Christian beliefs and have been criticised for extreme discipline, a high expulsion rate and teaching creationist theories. The level of creationist involvement is controversial as Vardy has both confirmed and denied that it is taught.

The Times recently published a student's claim that his science teacher whilst reading about evolution stopped and said “Well, believe that if you like, but this is what I think . . .” and proceeded to read from the Bible.

It has been made quite clear by the government that creationism and ‘intelligent design’ are not to be taught as scientifically viable theories.

However, that doesn’t stop everyone.

Truth in Science is a recently created private organisation campaigning for ‘Intelligent Design’ to be taught in UK comprehensive schools. They claim to be interested in ensuring that children receive a well-balanced science education, and state that: “We are not interested in imposing our ideas on anyone, but feel that in an

evolution-dominated society young people should have the chance of hearing another point of view. Free information and discussion are surely healthy. It led to the downfall of Communism in Eastern Europe.”

Having a look at the ‘about us’ section of the site we see that the people behind this organisation have more ecclesiastical qualifications between them than they do in the life sciences.

Their members include those with a history of publishing evangelical literature, the director of the Daylight Christian Prison Trust and several pastors and

McIntosh of Leeds University, whose biology department recently felt the need to create a course for biology students, debunking the claims that McIntosh et al have made.

Truth in Science have been sending creationist teaching materials to many schools in Britain, including DVDs, at an estimated cost of over £100,000, which feature members of the American creationist lobby. This is not only indicative of the amount of money available to evangelical lobby groups, but the material intentionally misrepre-

Truth in Science is campaigning for Intelligent design to be taught in schools ministers. Yet they deny that ID is inspired by the Bible or that they are trying to push Christian theology into science classrooms.

Some of their members are involved with other evangelical groups with more extremist positions than the seemingly moderate and well-balanced Truth in Science website. However, the extremism of Truth in Science becomes apparent with further enquiry.

A digest they sent to several individuals who had made enquiries to the site stated: “In an evolutionary universe, which is meaningless, does it matter what children are told? But what is the value of truth in an ultimately value-less universe?

An answer which renders human beings meaningless specks of dust is not an answer worth hearing in our opinion - even if true.”

This makes it abundantly clear that they reject Darwinian Evolution due to inferred social and ethical implications, and that they believe the “Truth in Science” is irrelevant. The implications of Darwinism are a worthy topic for discussion in sociology, philosophy or theology, but science concerns itself only with truth.

TiS has a “scientific panel” including a Cardiff lecturer - Timothy Wells of Biosciences - and lecturers from Oxford and Birmingham. Although what these people do other than sully the name of their institution - and presumably receive cheques - is unclear, as the ‘science’ on this site would be recognised as bunkum by anyone who was lucky enough to get a good science education.

On the board of directors is Andy

sents the science curriculum. The TiS materials reprinted on their website says that the national curriculum states: “Pupils should be taught....how scientific controversies can arise from different ways of interpreting empirical evidence (for example, Darwin's theory of evolution) The National Curriculum for Key Stage 4 Science (Sc1: Scientific enquiry)” This is despite the fact the government has repeatedly made it clear that creationism should not be taught as an example in this case.

The scientific controversy referred to in the programme of study is that arising from Darwin's

example of a scientific controversy, as it has no empirical evidence to support it and no underpinning scientific principles or explanations.

Intelligent design has been condemned by the Royal Society on scientific grounds, by the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams and other senior Bishops on theological grounds, and by a Christian think tank called Ekklesia.

Williams said: “I think creationism is, in a sense, a kind of category mistake… Darwinism is the only thing that ought to be taught. My worry is creationism can end up reducing the doctrine of creation rather than enhancing it.

“When the Royal Society is condemning your science and

Archbishops are condemning your theology it is time to rethink.”

It should go without saying that there aren't two sides to this story. There are no alternative theories on the origins of species, Darwinian evolution is all there is, it does the job well and is widely accepted amongst life scientists due to the overwhelming evidence. Intelligent design tells no story, makes no predictions or models and explains nothing.

“Truth in Science” is right to say ID is not a scientific theory and makes no claim to be.

It is merely a string of poorly thought out criticisms of evolution fuelled by the hope that if Darwinism is not well supported by the evidence then we must recourse to a super-natural explanation of origins.

Darwin said that his theory would be falsified if someone c o u l d

Darwin's day and although the evolution of eyes has been very well explained, it is still an example cited by creationists today.

Michael Behe is a biochemist and ID's current senior prophet. He has written books, but not a single peerreviewed research paper, on ID in which he describes certain sub-cellular structures.

He cannot imagine a way in which they could have evolved, so concludes that their existence must be due to an intelligent designer. Better scientists than Behe have proposed evolutionary explanations for his examples.

The ID/creationist movement is a complete failure scientifically but this is not likely to deter its success on the political and social fronts. Britain has the most religious Prime Minister in decades, who not only made repeated comments implying sympathy for the creationist cause but also stated that God helped him decide to invade Iraq.

He is a strong proponent of faith schools - which unlike their US counterparts receive state funding - and has made a determined effort to open more. When questioned about creationist teaching in one of the Peter Vardy academies he said: “I've visited one of the schools in question and as far as I'm aware they are teaching the curriculum in a normal way.”

How extensive his investigation was is not known, or whether or not “Blair's coming! Quickly hide the model of Moses riding the T. rex” was shouted down the corridor that day.

Although creationist scientists and theologians are in a tiny minority in their fields, the movement's impact on the public conscious has been much more successful, even amongst the educated.

Independent pollster Opinon Research reported that in a survey of more than 1000 university students, only 56% believed that evolution is a better explanation for human origins with the

The Archbishop of Canterbury supports Darwinian theory in the classroom rejection of existing scientific theories based on the evidence he had collected.

An example of such a theory is inheritance of acquired characteristics, supported by the French scientist Lamarck and based on the available scientific evidence at the time.

Creationism cannot be used as an

show that a complex organ existed which could not possibly have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications.

ID is an attempt to find such an organ, one which has so far failed, although there have been many contenders.

The eye was one, way back in

other 44% preferring either creationism or ID. The pollsters, the 19% who stated they preferred intelligent design and the Guardian journalist who reported the results were all of the mistaken opinion that intelligent design is a theory; something, which even its proponents are aware, is false.

gairrhydd

JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

T

he time of year has arrived when post-graduate forms are being filled out, job applications are being considered and summer plans are beginning to occupy our minds.

Yet, whether students are applying for summer jobs, further study, graduate employment or gap year vacations a well-written and presented application form is essential.

Firstly, students are advised to carry out research on what exactly they are applying for. The more information the applicant has, the more successful they will be in proving that they are perfect for the role. Look at the company, course or organisation websites and available literature with care, and find out as much as you can.

application

Graduate employers look for the best: Jobs & Money Editor Gillian Roberts looks at how to make an excellent impression with your application form

Skills and attributes Before putting pen to paper, think about your skills and attributes.

According to the Association of Graduate Recruiters, employers, universities and organisations are looking for decision making and analytical skills, imagination and creativity, numeracy and IT, flexibility, adaptability and strong communication and team working skills.

Yet it is not enough to list these attributes, but you must give clear evidence and examples which will benefit and be specific to your application.

Language Students should not be afraid to blow their own trumpet, as it is advisable to show off your positive attributes. Use action words such as conducted, managed, achieved, developed, organised and analysed. Making sure words like limited, only, just and some are avoided.

Barperson

Cardiff BAY £5.35 per hour Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday 12-3pm Pub in Cardiff Bay requires bar staff for immediate start.

Must be well presented, a good communicator and have excellent English language skills.

Telephone Interviewers

jobshop Not yet registered with Jobshop?

■ Come and register with our great free service.

We have lots of jobs available both around the campus and outside.

■

15

JOBS AND MONEY

FEBRUARY.12.2007

Cardiff £5.39 weekdays, £6.12 Saturdays Ongoing A market research company requires people to conduct interviews over the telephone and then enter data onto the computer. You must have clear speech, a confident attitude on the telephone.

Lettings Negotiator

Cardiff £5.50 per hour Ongoing Property management and letting agency require someone to conduct viewings, answer the telephone, liase with clients and administration. You must have a clean UK driving licence.

Customer Advisors & Shelf Fillers

Cardiff £5.69 per hour Ongoing DIY retail outlet require part time customer advisors and shelf fillers, they offer flexible working hours and the opportunity to work weekends and evenings.

Please contact us on 029 2078 1535 or pop in to the Jobshop on the ground floor of the Students’ Union. Opening hours 10am-4pm Monday-Friday.

Personal statement Pay careful attention to the structure of your personal statement. It is useful to begin explaining your motivation and reasons for applying, and what has made you apply. Secondly, consider what you can bring to the role, reinforcing your suggestions with academic achievements, work experience and

It is not enough to list your attributes, but you must give clear evidence and examples. voluntary work.

Finally, state your skills and personal qualities which can benefit the post you are applying for. Avoid waffling and make it short and concise. Each sentence should be aiding your application. The fact that you are able to reproduce a brief, relevant personal statement will impress the employer or recruiter.

Completing the application One mistake could potentially cost an applicant a call-back, interview or place if the competition is particularly fierce. Spelling mistakes can give an excuse for rejection as can poor presentation. Usually black ink in capitals is required, make letters clear and tidy.

Take time drafting your application, making sure your answers are concise

and can be presented neatly. If the space is too small for your answer, a short answer is probably expected.

What will be, will be

If your first application is not successful, it is not the end of the world.

Be positive and don’t get discouraged, apply for as many things as you can.

Don’t loose your confidence, if you have done the research and taken advantage of the help available you have a good chance of success eventually.

Career Consultant Carol Nicholas who is based at the Careers Centre on Corbett Road, advises that students are welcome to visit the Careers Centre for a one to one discussion to receive help with their application forms, CVs and personal statements.

Various techniques and formats can be used to make a CV much more powerful as Carol Nicholas has advised: “We have a number of booklets and information on offer in the Careers Library, one specifically on application forms and a range of others including help with CVs , interview skills and Assessment Centres and there are also regular workshops on offer to help with these topics.”

For details for all the free career services, call into the centre on 5 Corbett Road, Cardiff (opposite the Redwood building and next door to Aberdare Hall) or log onto www.cardiff.ac.uk/car sv.

Question time

A

pplications are intended to help the employers or recruiters find the best person they need. Yet, there are always a few tricky questions that can be less straightforward.

The following examples are of what you can sometimes expect, which may need a thorough examination.

■ Describe what attributes you can bring to this role.

■ What is your motivation for this role/post?

■ Describe a time where you are demonstrated strong leadership skills?

■ What is your main weakness?

■ In what ways have your experiences have equipped you for this role/post?

■ Describe a situation when you achieved something through sheer persistence?

Think about the context, your involvement and the outcome of the situation you are describing. When considering why you are applying, outline when you first became interested in the post or role and how you have been preparing for it since, describing experiences and skills that can aid your application.

If you are asked for a specific time or experience, describe briefly the situation but highlight the fact that you dealt with the experience positively. Think about what the employer is looking for and try to link your experiences and skills to that. Choose your experiences carefully, not just the first one you think of. Link everything to explaining why you should be picked over someone else. If you are asked about your weaknesses, be careful with which ones you choose. You could say that you were over-committed or you had an attention to detail. End the answer with how it can be turned into a positive.

16 gairrhydd

MEDIA

FEBRUARY.12.2007 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Playing the game The struggle for top place among games consoles is ever more present. The question remains, who to pick?

The PS3 James Temperton Media Reporter

T

he PS3 will launch across Europe on 23rd March 2007 at a price of 599 euros (or £425). The only version available at launch will be the hugely expensive 60GB version. If you’re a poor little student with next to no money (like me) spending that much money on one thing is close to financial suicide.

But, if you do happen to have the coppers lying around to buy one, is it worth the cash, and just what do you get for your money? Well, read on…

Whilst the PS3 has been out in the USA and Japan since November, European gamers will have to wait a little while yet to pick up the system.

Sony did originally want to do a simultaneous worldwide launch, but the complexity of the PS3 hardware prevented them from being able to do it in the timeframe. The PS3 is a very complex bit of kit; to illustrate just how complicated, look at all these numbers.

The PS3 (60GB HDD edition) has a Cell Broadband Engine (CPU), a main memory of 256MB XDR Main RAM 256MB GDDR3 VRAM of Embedded VRAM, Bluetooth, Ethernet 10BASE-

T, 100BASE-TX, 1000BASE-T, 480i, 480p, 720p, 1080i, 1080p screen display and a whole lot more stuff that makes even less sense. What it all means is simple: the PS3 is one seriously powerful piece of kit. For your money you are getting (based on numbers alone) the most graphically powerful console ever made and also a Blu-ray Disk player (for high quality video playback). Sadly, the Blu-ray format is a bit of a non-starter at the moment with the format (which Sony are touting as the successor to DVDs) not really selling all that well.

Sony’s big boast with the PS3 is that it provides HD gaming. This basically means that you are getting stunning graphics beyond anything you have ever seen before. Unless you own an XBOX 360. While the Wii is the innovative and exciting option in terms of new ideas, the PS3 is an all singing, all dancing behemoth of a modern media centre.

Regardless of all this multimedia tom-foolery, what really matters about the PS3 is what it offers in terms of games. Thanks to the substantial and somewhat tedious delay here in Europe, the console will boast thirtyodd titles when it unleashes itself upon the continent. The highlights? Very few. Resistance: Fall of Man,

Motorstorm and Ridge Racer 7 are the standout titles, but none have managed anything much above average reviews in the USA so far. Third party offerings include Tony Hawk’s Project 8, Virtua Tennis and Virtua Fighter, Splinter Cell: Double Agent, Need for Speed Carbon, Tiger Woods. I could go on, but I won’t. A whole lot of games, but nothing that really jumps out at you.

Sure, they all look pretty, but the PS3 is in danger of being style over substance and for significantly more than the XBOX 360.

When Nintendo announced that the Wii would feature a hugely innovative controller, Sony clearly panicked and unveiled a bit of a half-cooked repost

While the Wii is the innovative and exciting option in terms of new ideas, the PS3 is an all singing, all dancing behemoth of a modern media centre in the form of...an updated DualShock controller. Dubbed the Sixaxis, it features motion detection in a full sixdegree range. So basically, it does what the Wii does but nowhere near as well.

So you can steer a car and fly a plane,

but probably nothing more exciting.

So, is the PS3 worth your cash?

Well, it is supremely powerful and will have awesome graphics, but perhaps nothing more exciting than the XBOX 360. The control system isn’t as inno-

vative as that on the Wii and the launch games leave a little bit to be desired. But don’t let that put you off.

This is a great piece of technology and there are some mightly impressive games in the pipeline. So if you’re after hugely powerful HD gaming with loads of added extras (and have the cash for it), then you might, just maybe, want to give the PS3 a look.

The XBox 360

T

he XBOX 360 has been available for well over a year now and it has some cracking games on offer. The console retails at around £200 for the basic core system and £280 for the premium package.

In all honesty, the premium package is the only one worth considering, as it gives you a wireless controller (as opposed to a wired one), a 20GB hard drive and a headset that you can use to chat to your mates online and during games. It works out as much better value and is well

worth parting with the extra cash for.

Much like the PS3, the XBOX 360 offers full HD (high-definition) graphics and has some really stunning-looking titles (Gears of War for example) that really take visuals to a whole new level. In a lot of ways the PS3 and the XBOX 360 are very similar; they both offer a similar sort of package but they differ in a few key ways. Perhaps the most important one is XBOX Live. Microsoft have developed a world class online system for the console which enables users to go online against gamers all over the world and battle it out, be it at football, in the sublime Halo series or in a variety of huge adventure and action games that ‘bless’ the system. The XBOX isn’t about bright colours and platform games, a lot of the titles are very... ‘gun based’. XBOX Live also allows you to download a selection of lovely little games from the Arcade area, which includes a whole load of strange and highly addictive

offerings. There is also the Marketplace where you can download demos and bonus content for your games. along with a whole lot of other fun extras. Compared to the online systems on the Wii (basic) and the PS3 (still untried and limited) the XBOX 360 is streets ahead.

The XBOX isn’t about bright colours and platform games For many, buying a console at present is a choice between the XBOX 360 and the PS3, with the Wii being the obvious choice as a second console. So how do the two HD boxes compare? Well, the Microsoft offering is cheaper, has much better games and has a whole lot of great titles coming soon. The PS3 isn’t even out yet and there are very few must-have titles in compar-

ison to the XBOX 360. Still, the PS3 can push some more polygons and it does have the power of Sony behind it. It all comes down to personal preference really.

Being out for so long already means there are loads of games available on the XBOX 360. Just pop down to GAME or GameStation or pop online to check out a huge selection of titles from an equally large range of genres. The hardware is a bit unreliable. Microsoft have been getting complaints of a lot of systems crashing, and whilst this isn’t a major concern in the grand scheme of things it is a little worrying. Still, if you’re after a rather large (and to that extent fairly ugly) system that has a whole load of great games, a brilliant online system and loads of even better games lined up for the future (including Halo 3, need I say more?) then the XBOX 360 is a fine purchase and will keep you happy for many years to come.

gairrhydd 17

MEDIA

FEBRUARY.12.2007 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

The Nintendo Wiii Tim Hewish Media Reporter

T

o Wii or not to Wii, that is the question. Choosing what platform to support is a very tricky affair. In the past years, gaming has changed to a great extent. It used to be a sub-culture for geeky, spotty and greasy haired teenagers, but now it has flourished into a billion dollar industry from films to online communities.

This article is aimed to convince you to show loyalty to Nintendo, by representing a detailed profile of it with the main useful details and information.

In the beginning, there were Sega and Nintendo, two Japanese gaming giants, who made many of their own games, and through the joys of the NES, SNES, Mega Drive and the Saturn left many 80s children educated by video games. Now we have incantations from Sony and Microsoft, after the death of Sega only the Big N still stands.

In theory, video games were designed to be an escape from reality into a virtual world; after all we have Sony’s phrase Live in your world play in ours. So with all this hype of photo realistic graphics, it appears silly to real gamers to buy a game based merely on how it looks in a FMV, not how it plays. A game can be perfect without

it looking realistic, take Mario 64 or Ocarina of Time, or even 2D Super Mario World on the SNES. People label Ninty as a kiddies format; only big boys play with PS3 or Xbox 360s. This is the usual tactic selected by mass cultural followers.

Nintendo was making games before the likes of Sony and Microsoft. Yes, Sony has Square Soft and Konami, while Xbox 360 has RareWare, all fantastic makers of such games as Final Fantasy, Metal Gear Solid and Banjo Kazooie respectively.

However Nintendo had all the first generations of each game. Bill Gates bought RareWare, as if he was buying his son baseball cards, and for that Rare gave the video game world the biggest betrayal defecting to Xbox 360.

Nintendo make a lot of their own games, while Sony and Microsoft are only prepared to purchase companies to do their work for them. Xbox 360 is in it only for the profit motive, not the pleasure of bringing a quality game from its infancy to its fully fledge form like Nintendo does so well.

All the Xbox 360 has going for it is FPS’s and Sports sims, which to be frank only meat-heads play to keep them amused. True gamers prefer action adventures, platformers and puzzle games, such as Zelda, Mario and Donkey Kong.

The Wii is meant to stand for everyone, and so far I think this is true. I

have seen girls and parents play the Wii more times than they have ever played any console in their whole life and the average player has morphed from hormonal teenager playing Pokemon to Businessman on the tube with Brain Training, to a housewife playing Nintendogs, or your little sister

The Wii is meant to stand for everyone, and so far I think this is true, I have seen girls and parents play playing Wario.

The French Government have recently included Video Gaming as a culture alongside films, art, and literature. This signals the shift it is having on the world and Nintendo helped forge that from the beginning. Yes, Nintendo bombed with the GameCube, just like Sega with the DreamCast, but it is still fighting, and the Wii with its motion sensing Wiimote, it’s reclaiming its rightful spot at the top. It has WIIIIIIIIII!: Gaming fun

brought with it a new dynamic that others can only dream about.

Sony and Microsoft are only preoccupied with the aesthetics of the eye, Ninty designed the Wii to entertain not just the eye, but also the body and mind. Sony’s PS3 went to battle with its’ Blueray and will probably come out of it losing the war, Microsoft likewise. Sony’s £425 price tag will not shift many consoles and the Xbox 360 can’t shift many out of the US boarders. So it’s a good day to buy the £180 Wii and the £99 DS.

What Nintendo need to do is emulate and better the Xbox Live, so the whole world can play Mario Kart or Smash Bros. online, and then reclaim past companies who worked under them, which is starting to happen with games like Resi Evil, Final Fantasy and Metal Gear. I shall finish on the only Wii joke I feel hasn’t been uttered: If you must spend a penny, buy a Wii, not blow a load on the PS3ii and theXbox 36ii.

gairrhydd

19

HEALTH

FEBRUARY.12.2007 HEALTH@gairrhydd.COM

gairrhydd health month/ Valentine’s special

Playing it safe Education and Welfare Officer Kate Monaghan on why you should rubber up after Rubber Duck this Valentine’s Day

Y

ou're in the mood. The lighting is low. You are both in the buff, but there's one more step before you can get down to some horizontal jogging. That's right, you need protection.

We all know that condoms are a necessity. But however crucial they may be, they're not the most fashionable items, are they? Condoms can be a pain in the arse quite frankly. They can spoil the mood, take away sensations, and generally piss us off. And therein lies the condom conundrum: There aren’t many who can’t get enough of that rubbery stuff, but for most of us, they are essential.

So, what can we do? Not all ‘love socks’ are the same. Microsheer condoms, which are thinner and stronger than latex, transmit body heat, are non-

allergenic and have no taste or smell.

Handy in case you like a bit of variation. Tactylon is another welcome development for those of you who ‘get it on’ regularly. Tactylon doesn't cause allergic reactions and stretches more comfortably than latex. A little pricier, but worth it every time. If you aren't ready to push the (love) boat out, there are plenty of cheaper options. You can always pick up the "ribbed for his and her pleasure" or one of a seemingly unending line of shaped, coloured and flavoured condoms. If nothing else, they are fun to blow up at parties.

Right, you have chosen the weapon protection of your choice. It’s a good idea to keep your rubbers somewhere easily accessible, but not overly visible. Note: Ideally, you should keep no more than a couple to hand. Seeing

Health catch up with some of the students trying to get fit and be more healthy during the Union’s health month Name: Kate Dobbs Title: Societies and International Officer Progress after a week: I've been coping pretty well this first week without cigarettes, even managing a few hours of rubber duck without reaching for the ciggies in sheer desperation...

I'm feeling positive that I can give up for good this time! I've also give up sweets, because since starting work in the union and being in close proximity to the pick n mix section of the shop I've developed a bit of a sugar addiction. I had a mini packet of Haribo yesterday, but they were a gift, so do they count?

Name: Amy Harrison/ Course: English Literature Progress after a week: Eliminating the temptation of evil kebabs and pints by becoming a recluse would have made health month painless. But I want to be healthy and still enjoy my student lifestyle.

Eating well has been the easiest part for me, and surprisingly getting up for the gym hasn’t been too much of a chore either (you just can’t beat those endorphins).

Last weekend was a real test of my self-restraint.

But I successfully traded my pints for shorts, and my dirty kebab for dried apricots!

After just one week I am eating healthier, drinking less and exercising more without sacrificing my regular lifestyle… let’s hope I can keep it up for the rest of the month.

dozens of condoms hanging out of a bedside drawer can lead to questions about promiscuity. Of course, opportunities to get lucky won't only come in the comfort of your own home. Always carry a condom or two if you think there's even the slightest chance of getting some action.

Before cracking a fresh rubber, make sure you've located the last one You've got your ‘gent’s tent’ handy, so it’s time to put it on. Now, this is the time you do want to be quick: you don't want to lose the moment. The

S Ag h

first s t e p , opening the packet, can be a tricky task. Tear it from the centre and not the corner; it's easier. Or, for the lucky buggers, you may have the option of having her put it on. Delegating may take longer, but it will be worth it. Try kneeling on both knees on the bed, leaning slightly forward, so the blood will rush to your manhood and offset any shrinking due to nerves or too much booze. Lying down in such situations is not ideal.

Of course, we all need a back up plan in case the unthinkable happens.

There's only about a one in 50 chance a condom will break ‘in action’, but

heightened sensitivity is a pretty good indication that the condom has failed, so don’t be a fool, recover your tool. Don’t expose yourself to diseases or parenthood. Before cracking a fresh rubber, make sure you've located the last one. If it's nowhere to be found, it's likely still inside her, and she'll have to retire to the loo and fish it out. And nothing kills the moment like a trip to the can for deep-sea fishing. Chances are that will ruin it and that the sex will be over for the time being. So, when the moment arises, consider the options. Get a bloomin’ condom on, or be prepared for a trip to the doctor, and potentially, a visit to the maternity ward.

Run by student volunteers, SHAG is the sexual health awareness group for Cardiff University. They provide free contraception and information about STIs, local GUM clinics and young person’s clinics to both heterosexual and homosexual students.

They run a drop-in service in the SVC lounge on the third floor of the Students’ Union and welcome any student who has any concerns about their sexual health.

gairrhydd 21

FEATURES

FEBRUARY.12.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature -

So you think student life is all about the late nights, cheap pints and skippping lectures in favour of long lie-ins?

Across the university there are thousands of students getting involved in worthwhile projects that benefit the local, national and even international community.

Fighting for innocence

7 6 5

Many people assume that when the police investigate a crime, the truth will come out and the guilty will be convicted, but this isn’t always the case...

Guilty until proven innocent: Muchael O’ Brien

Case study: Michael O’Brien

I

f you were to ask Michael O’ Brien, one third of the so-called ‘Cardiff Newsagent three’, whether the truth always prevails, his reply would be a definite no.

Michael O’ Brien was released from prison in December 1999 after serving the longest miscarriage of justice in Welsh legal history. After eleven years in some of the highest security prisons up and down the country, O’Brien’s case was finally quashed by the Court of Appeal.

Those who defend their innocence end up facing longer prison terms The tale of O’Brien is one of a young, uneducated small time criminal trying to achieve justice for a brutal murder that he did not commit (even forensic evidence could not confirm his involvement in the attack). O’Brien recalls the British justice system as one that is based on the notion of guilty until proven innocent, as opposed to the other way round.

In British prisons, once a person is convicted then they should serve their time and get on with it, whether they are guilty or innocent. Prisoners are encouraged to admit their own guilt; those who admit to being guilty can go through a rehabilitation programme and potentially get out early.

Those who defend their innocence by contesting their conviction and refusing rehabilitation, end up facing longer prison terms because of their refusal to comply.

O’Brien was only nineteen when

he was arrested for a murder he did not commit. He had little education and no qualifications. His son was just three, his young wife was pregnant, and he had just forged a relationship with his alcoholic father after a lifetime of acrimony. In 1999, when O’Brien finally won his freedom, he was thirty-three and had only ashes to show for his life; his second child, a daughter, died in her cot when she was two months old; his wife left him a couple of months later for a string of other men; his father, broken by his son's imprisonment, drank himself into the grave.

O’Brien says that when he was fighting for his freedom he thought that after he got out of prison he could get his life back, but his troubles were only just beginning. He believes that the years he spent in jail smashed his life to pieces.

O’Brien has received £300,000 compensation from South Wales Police and £480,000 from the home office in lost earnings. In spite of this pay out, the police officers that wrongly charged him and performed inadequate investigations, will never face disciplinary action. South Wales police are denying their liability for everything they put O’Brien through.

O’Brien still seeks an apology from the officers involved in his case and would like to see them locked up.

The fight to get out of prison was a long and hard struggle for O’ Brien. But even when he was released there was no support to help him fit back into society. For people held hostage there is a rehabilitation system in place to help them reintegrate themselves into society. But innocent prisoners are just expected to fit back into everyday life as if nothing had happened.

Rachel Clare Innocence Project Volunteer Innocence Network UK Innocence Network UK (INUK) brings together academics, victim support groups and campaigning organisations, criminal appeal lawyers, forensic scientists and investigative journalists.

They work together to raise awareness about the plight of innocent prisoners and the issue of wrongful convictions as a cause for concern, to research why these wrongful convictions have occurred, and to encourage legal reform that will stop this happening.

Innocence Project in Cardiff The Innocence Project at Cardiff brings together Law and Journalism students with a real practical aim. We take on an investigative role and with the supervision of academics and practicing solicitors we look into real criminal cases of alleged innocent victims of wrongful conviction.

Priority is given to prisoners who both maintain their innocence and have exhausted their legal appeals, although Cardiff Innocence Project

does also consider clearing the names of those already freed from jail.

Our practical objective is to attempt to find legal grounds in the hope that alleged innocent victims will get referrals back to the Court of Appeal or CCRC. We also aim to get the Innocence Project publicised so that prisoners, as well as the general public, know that it exists.

Innocent prisoners need to know that there is an organisation out there that will help them when they have no other choice.

“I never realised how many people are failed by the British Criminal Justice system” Lawyers are expensive and usually not an option for prisoners.

However organisations like the Innocence Network offers free investigation and lawyers working pro bono to try and help prisoners that are truly innocent.

The only definitive criteria for Innocence Projects are that they are concerned with allegations of factual innocence as opposed to allegations of technical miscarriages of justice. Innocence projects exist because innocent people are wrongfully convicted.

People reading this article may sceptically ask, ‘How do you know a prisoner is really innocent?’ The answer is, we don’t. We look at all the evidence with the help of practising lawyers and if there is any doubt at all that the prisoner is really innocent then the case will not be investigated

any further.

When a prisoner has been protesting their conviction since the day they arrived in jail, and has stayed in prison for a number of years longer than they would have if they had just said they were guilty, while carrying out a number of appeals and protests then it just adds to a belief that they are innocent.

O’ Brien talks to Cardiff Volunteers O’Brien recently spoke to students at Cardiff University. Third year journalism student, Andrea Bishop, commented after the talk: “Until I heard Michael O’Brien speak, I never realised how many people are failed by the British Criminal Justice system. It is clear that this needs investigating further.”

If you believe the BBC series The Innocence Project, students are able to look into miscarriages of justice every week in a spacious well-equipped office and get a different prisoner out of jail every week. In reality, it is a task of trawling through boxes and boxes of case files containing mixed up statements, witness comments and police reports, and even then it may take up to five years for a case to get looked at by the Criminal Case Review Commission (CCRC) and for the prisoner to be released.

It is a long and arduous process, but clearing the name of those who are wrongly convicted is a matter of great import. O’Brien’s life was shattered after his eleven-year stint in prison, it is imperative that other innocent people do not face such injustice.

It is a task of trawling through boxes and boxes of case files

22 gairrhydd

FEATURES

FEBRUARY.12.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature -Special

Netball raise £ for C Researc

£2000

£0. 10

Last October the n their kit off a rather risqué cale good caus

Netball girls turn up the heat...

Joanna Dingle Media and Communications Officer for Cardiff University Netball Club

A

s a sports club it is all too easy to fall in the weekly routine of training-matchesRubber Duck. This year the netball girls decided to do something a little bit different.

Quite a few of the girls have family who have been affected by breast cancer, and as Club Captain, Carys Jenkins puts itr: "Diseases such as breast and testicular cancer are often diagnosed late due to the taboo, embarrassment and self-consciousness that surround these subjects".

We decided that all funds raised would go towards Cancer Research UK. By putting the issue out there, and not being afraid to be photographed in lingerie to raise funds for such a good cause, the netball girls have really made something they can be proud of.

In the summer term of 2006 we started planning for the calendar,

imagining what it might be like, and raised interest in the club to find out who was up for getting involved. The response was good, and the newly elected netball committee and others set out to organise and make a 'naked' calendar.

We decided that 100% of proceeds raised would go to Cancer Research UK and, unlike many fundraising events, not to keep any of the profit for the club.

In order to raise as much money as possible for the charity, we needed to find sponsors to reduce the costs of printing, shooting, distribution and the like. We were very for-

tunate to find a very supportive printing company, Press to Print on City Road, who gave us a very generous discount on printing costs, and were very helpful to Carys and I, giving us advice on the best and most costeffective methods to go about it. In the end we decided upon black and white photos – endlessly more flattering! – which worked out more cost effective, with a full colour front cover.

We approached Adam Gasson (awesome photographer and ex-picture editor of the gair rhydd) and asked if he would take the photographs for us. Legend that he is, he agreed, and we booked the day

of the shoot as sometime in October.

Each of the months was allocated themes – for example, April showers in April, and Halloween in October – then the girls were divided into groups for each month and sent on missions to find props for each shot.

I was involved in organising August, which was 'sport month', and Park Place gym were hugely supportive

Apparently there’s even one hanging behind a bar somewhere in Thailand! and gave us water bottles and gym towels for the photo!

The day of the shoot was fantastic fun and conducted really professionally. It started off with everyone running late, some of the girls had their hair done in local salons who had offered their services for free, but we all arrived and trotted into the studio on City Road. Although we began the day feeling nervous, standing around in our underwear soon felt like the norm! It

felt great to be doing something different, and the atmosphere that day was lovely – all the girls really looked stunning, and it was a real change from training, or three too many drinking games at Rubadubadub.

We had 1000 copies printed, with each copy being sold at £4. We hoped to raise around £3,000, and have so far raised over £2,000, with about 200 calendars remaining. Following our story's inclusion in the South Wales Echo, we received requests from people around Cardiff from all walks of life asking for copies. We even had a request from Cardiff Library archives.

Apparently there's even one hanging behind a bar somewhere in Thailand!

In November a nameless 'third year' wrote a letter to the gair rhydd condemning our behaviour as 'degrading', and striking out sarcastically for some of the girls not having the decency to wear matching underwear! We responded to their comments, and I remain immensely proud of the girls that took

Still haven’t bo

PHOTOS: ADAM GASSON

We have now sold the vast majority, but ed in buying a copy, at a now reduced c spare!) please do email us: Cardiff.uni.n to send a copy to you.

gairrhydd 23

FEATURES

FEBRUARY.12.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Featu

l Girls £2000 Cancer ch UK

etball team got and posed for a endar - all for a se, naturally... part in the calendar, as well as the rest of the club for being so supportive. It took all the girls a lot of courage to take part, and they should be respected for having the confidence to get involved, and yes, strip off for such a good cause.

The calendar, as we hoped, was not at all seedy or distasteful, and rightly so – I wanted to be able to show my parents (!), and even sent my 98-yearold great-grandmother a copy!

The project really brought out the team nature of our sport, on and off the court, and is an achievement of which I feel we can be hugely proud.

Cancer Research UK backed the whole project, and they have even expressed interest in involving our story in the Race for Life events that will happen around the country in the summer.

Congratulations to all the girls and everyone who donated their talents and services – £2,000 is a fantastic sum for such a good cause!

ought your copy?

t with some still to sell, if you are interestost of £3 (or however much you have to etball@googlemail.com. It'll be no trouble

Kenyan Orphan Project saves lives

KOP Cardiff has not even been running for two months, but since its first event this January it has already raised £850 Roz Grave KOP Co-ordinator

K

OP was launched by a chance meeting at the back of a lecture theatre in Nottingham, and has since blossomed into a fully-fledged national organisation. It is led by a group of medical students dedicated to helping orphans of the Nyanza Province in Kenya.

Largely underestimated figures show that 1 in 3 people in Nyanza are HIV positive – the highest rate in Kenya. Plus there is the inevitable knock on effect, resulting in 1 in 2 children becoming orphans.

The aim of the Kenyan Orphan Project is to help the impoverished children of Kisumu, whose lives are plagued by problems due to poverty, disease and HIV - the biggest health issues facing the world today.

KOP Achievements Over the past few years previous KOP student groups transformed a derelict hotel into a hospital, which now provides partially subsidized health care. They also built both a primary and secondary school from scratch. Within the schools, KOP continues to fund feeding programmes to the students, who would otherwise go hungry. After all, it’s pretty difficult to learn on an empty stomach. Alongside this, the street children programme provides meals every Sunday for 120

children, with the eventual aim of building a centre where the street kids can have continual access to food, healthcare and a general haven from the incredibly rough life of living on the streets. All these accomplishments within four short years!

KOP comes to Cardiff Uni So as 2007 dawns, KOP makes its debut into its sixth university in the UK. It was introduced to Cardiff through a fifth year medic, who had the privilege of doing his elective in Kisumu. Our aim is to raise awareness and provide fundraising, supporting the current KOP projects. In future years we will provide continued funding and ideas helping to extend KOP’s role in Kenya.

The street children progamme provides meals every Sunday for 120 children In addition to the fundraising, a group of students will get the opportunity to go out to Kenya over a few weeks in the summer holidays. This African experience will let the students see first hand the immense difference all the money raised is making, as well as allowing the opportunity for some hands on practical help.

For any healthcare-allied professions

there is also the opportunity to do medical electives through KOP. The newly established Cardiff KOP branch recently held its first ever social. Promoted as the first night out in 2007 with the simple yet effective aim of having a great night out in the name of a good cause, the event (held at La Tropicana) raised nearly £850!- a great first step in KOP Cardiff’s history.

What are KOP doing now?

A cake sale was held on the 31st January at the Heath Park campus and Biosciences building.

The “We’re sick of Valentine’s Day” drive provides the opportunity to anonymously “tag” your Valentine with a message on a red hospital bracelet for £1.

“KOP it all, We’re off to the Pub” starts on the 23rd February, where willing teams will go head to head in a competition to raise the most money in bizarre antics on a pub crawl in Cardiff.

Later in the summer months we hope to hold a KOP Carnival with a general fairground theme, and with some subtle persuasion we hope to involve the lecturers in the carnival too...

It is fair to say that KOP work is varied, challenging but always exciting. This fledging charity is continually expanding and is always looking for new members with unusual ideas for events. Fundraising is good, but fundraising while having a fantastic

time for all participants is great. This idea is the central philosophy of all KOP work. Moreover, everybody involved, from the directors to the students, gives their time voluntarily, so the charity has no overheads. All the money goes directly to Kenya and makes a massive difference to people’s lives, no matter how small the donation.

So don’t kop out, KOP in! Get in contact and get involved. Even if you do nothing but spare us a thought and a quid the next time your holding cheese and chips on Chippy Lane.

If you are interested in getting involved with the organizing and the setting up of events, brainstorming for good fundraising ideas or generally just finding out more about our projects, then get in touch. It truly is the more the merrier!!

How do I get involved?

Join our Facebook group: “KOP Cardiff” – where you can keep up to date with any events as well as news from Africa, or email us Tony - goughat@cardiff.ac.uk Roz - graver@cardiff.ac.uk Come meet us in person, at any of our upcoming socials in February.

24 gairrhydd

FEATURES

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Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Specia

Water water everywh

When several Cardiff AIESEC members first heard about ONE Water they were e involved. Now, with their own distribution company they are supplying it across Jessica Alge Marketting Director for Two Distribute

D

id you know that 1 billion people in the world don’t have access to clean water?

Or that 2 million people die each year as a result of water related diseases? Perhaps the more relevant question to ask is, now that you know, do you care?

Six months ago I was pretty blasé about the worldwide water situation.

Sure it was terrible that all these people were dying, but what the hell was I meant to do about it?

I was at a conference in Norfolk with AIESEC (a society present in many universities all over the world

that you really should investigate) when one man changed my mind.

This man stood and gave a talk about a company he had set up three years earlier after hearing the exact figures mentioned above. Three years later ONE Water was a reality.

At first it might seem as if their product isn’t that special, sitting there on the shelf next to all the other brands of bottled water.

The profits don’t go to making some gigantic company richer

A chance to play, a chance for clean water, a chance in life

Although the water is from as good a spring as any of the others, there’s nothing particularly amazing about the water itself. Yet the concept behind it is world-changing.

Every time someone purchases a bottle of this water the profits don’t go to making some gigantic company richer. Instead all the profits are put towards saving the lives of thousands of the worlds’ poorest people.

All profits made from selling the water go to a South African charity called Playpumps International. The charity specialises in producing special roundabouts which pump clean water from deep in the earth into a storage tank, and then down into a tap. The villages get clean and safe water on tap for whenever they need it, and when you buy ONE you get an affordable bottle of water to drink. Everybody wins and the world becomes a little bit better, day by day. Simple, right?

Unfortunately, not quite. The bottled water industry may be currently estimated to be worth £1.5 billion but with over 200 brands of water in existence it’s proving somewhat difficult to

persuade shops to stock yet another brand, let alone getting consumers to buy it.

Months ago the original plan after first hearing about ONE Water was simply to get Cardiff University shops to start selling ONE, like students at Manchester University had done previously.

Sadly, the people in charge decided they had no interest in stocking yet another brand of bottled water. Many of the shops we contacted also reacted in a similar fashion. Hardly surprising really when you consider the vast amounts of money that many commercial brands are willing to pay in order to insure that their brand is the only

We may be a group of students but we’re deeply committed to the company we created

one stocked.

Still, it seemed too early to give up.

It was then that myself and a handful of AIESEC members, decided to form our own distribution company.

We called ourselves Two Distribute and decided to dedicate ourselves to looking for businesses who would agree to sell ONE Water.

The biggest and most obvious problem that we keep meeting is quite simple. People just don’t know that ONE Water exists. It may have been the official water of Live8 but few people seem to know what ONE is or what it stands for.

Our number one priority is sending as much money as possible to Africa, where it is needed most.

Unfortunately this does leave us with a slight problem on the advertising front. From TV advert breaks to billboards at bus stops, the commercial brands are very thorough in their quest to ensure their brand is a constant feature in your subconscious.

We cannot afford this luxury and must instead rely upon the good will of people who care about our cause and are willing to spread the word.

Still, considering the fact that we only recently began forming our company, we have had some successes.

Student business tycoons: Two Distribute

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al Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature - Special Feature -Special Featu

here

eager to get s South Wales.

Some of you who went for a night out at the union last term may have received a free bottle of ONE as part of S.O.U.L. (Save Our Union License) to drink on your way home. We supplied that water and are hoping to do so again in the future.

Several opportunities in the coming year are looking very promising and we’re more than ready for the challenge. Be sure to watch out for World Water Day events on March 22 in particular.

We may be just a group of (mostly) business students but we’re deeply committed to the company we’ve created. All of us are volunteers who firmly believe that all the profit we make should go to improving things in Africa and never to our own pocket.

We believe in the mass power of everyone working together and that everyone making small gestures can lead to real change.

It’s not even like you have to drastically alter your everyday life style.

Next time you stop off somewhere for a bottle of water, why not buy ONE? You get a tasty and affordable drink and somewhere in Africa someone else does too. Why not join our cause and help to make the world a little bit better? After all, if you don’t, who will?

Want to know more about ONE Water or Two Distribute?

Check out: www.we-are-one.org.uk. www.twodistribute.co.uk or email info@twodistribute.co.uk.

Sexpress yourself

If you thought that medics spent all their time in lectures and The Philharmonic, think again...

Martin Cole Sexpression Volunteer

S

expression is the student led sexual health and relationship education programme active in Medical Schools throughout the UK. The programme started in Edinburgh in 1997, supported by sex education experts at the National Children’s Bureau. It has developed into a network of programmes throughout the UK with the common goal of training medical and healthcare students to educate teenagers in schools about sexual health issues.

A dedicated student committee has developed and sustained the programme in Cardiff for the past seven years.

The Obstetrics and Gynaecology Department at the Wales College of Medicine, Cardiff University, have been invaluable in supporting the programme. Sexpression Wales is now active in ten secondary schools around South Wales educating thousands of secondary school pupils.

The Cardiff programme is evidence based, supported by seven years of research. The research underpins the delivery of the programme, allowing regular evaluation and auditing, sustainability and development.

Student research projects are used to cover all logistical and theoretical aspects of sexual health and relationship education and this supports the committee’s work in delivering a high quality service. The programme has

been developed from theories of interactive teaching methods and we work closely with teenagers to continually assess needs of sexual health and relationship education of the target population.

We work closely with secondary schools to ensure that we deliver material that fits in with the pupils’ previous sex education, national curriculum guidelines and the school policy. The programme is structured to compliment school-based education, not to replace it.

Sexpression has the unique advantage of combining peer education and healthcare practitioners as educators.

Through using healthcare professional students, Sexpression bridges the gap between teenagers and the health services.

Sexpression sessions are ... invaluable in improving sexual health in South Wales Our research has shown that there is apprehension about the perceived lack of confidentiality of services which builds a barrier to service utilisation.

Teenagers are inexperienced in

using health services without parental support and presence.

The Sexpression programme portrays an approachable side of the health service to teenagers, both from an age point of view and as trustworthy health professionals.

We play a key role in addressing these issues by discussing attitudes towards services, the confidentiality available and how services are run in detail. This approach has reduced anxiety towards sexual health service use and improved teenagers’ confidence in obtaining healthcare.

Pilot research was carried out this year comparing knowledge of teenagers who have undergone sessions in schools and those not involved in the Sexpression programme. This has shown that teenagers involved in the scheme are more confident in making sexual decisions, using healthcare services and contraception. They have better knowledge of the services available to them and are more likely to utilise those healthcare resources.

In conjunction with the clinical aspect (contraception, STIs etc), an essential topic that Sexpression addresses in schools is discussion of relationships issues and negotiation skills.

The research undertaken highlighted that these topics were not discussed effectively in schools by traditional education as they are often seen as difficult to cover, and can be perceived as too personal. Sexpression deals with this by using small group discussions using abstract scenarios, avoiding discussion of personal experiences. This gives the pupils the opportunity to explore these issues and worries in a supportive and controlled environment.

South Wales has one of the highest STI rates in the whole of Western Europe Over two hundred healthcare students have been trained over the past four years to deliver sessions in

schools.

Our training fully prepares students to lead sessions for any secondary school age covering contraception, Sexually Transmitted Infections, health service provision (NHS services), how to access services and relationship negotiation skills.

The Sexpression sessions are not only invaluable in improving sexual health in the South Wales region but also in providing university students with new skills that will prepare them for future challenges.

The sessions allow the pupils to talk openly about all areas of sexual health and relationships, in a safe environment without having to worry that they are talking to a teacher ‘per se’ and this allows for a fun and interactive lesson.

In many cases members would say that they find the sessions as rewarding (if not sometimes more so) than the students they are teaching.

We run sessions as regularly as the schools require us and the subject content is rather varied, including contraception, STIs, sexual health services and relationship issues, depending upon the age group.

This year we have even introduced two new lesson plans that cover puberty and relathionships in year 7 pupils and the problem of HIV with sixth form classes. We also hope that this year’s student projects will provide us with a new website that will allow pupils, teachers and the Sexpression members to access up-to-date information regarding sexual health in a format that is accessible to them.

With South Wales having one of the highest STI rates in the whole of Western Europe, the work we do is really important, as effective education is probably one of the keys to helping reduce this.

However, in order to provide this continuing programme, we continually need new volunteers to take part, and we are planning a new training session (and social!) in the coming months, aimed primarily at the first and second year medical students so please keep your eyes peeled and come along.

gairrhydd 27

TELEVISION

FEBRUARY.12.2007 TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

This Week’s Johns Amongst The Chans: February 12th-18th

I’ve Got The Power

Russell Brand’s on Telly Again. You Like Him Right?

HOT

Ethan Hawke: Y’know, I don’t even like films, but I quite like Ethan Hawke.

I must say I don’t know an awful lot about him, but I liked it when he had floppy hair and he preserved his beard in its same state for a pretty long time. Which shows conviction, and I like that.

Soaps Page three of TV Choice has stills from the four leading soaps (I don’t like Eastenders) this week. I will try to tell you what goes on by looking at these pictures alone. I won’t cheat. Coronation Street: Jason is on the phone, it is the same phone that used to be used in Batman.

He looks upset and has to lean against the banister. Roy looks upset and leans on Hayley’s shoulder. Maybe he has found out she was a man(?). Hollyoaks: Becca apears to be involved in some game of indoor prison rugby. She doesn’t like it. Her oppenent is making a spazzy face at her.

Neighbours: Katya is holding a gun and look menacing. It is very reminiscent of Danger Mouse.

Emmerdale: The King family stand around looking bored and miserable. This must be their stock photograph.

O

f course, the thing that everyone’s going to be talking about this week, from Heat, to the NME, to the tabloid entertainment pages and to (conveniently) What’s On TV and TV Choice, is...Freaky Eaters.

New to BBC 3 (Wednesday, 9.00pm) comes this remarkable insight into the eating habits of a bunch of mentals. “We all enjoy a packet of crisps now and again” professes Donna Findlay on What’s On TV, as though the Atkins Diet had never existed “but 36year-old Kevin Johnson eats them and nothing else for nearly every single meal!”. Well the use of the word “nearly” kind of ruins things, and I reckon that the sheer volume and frequency in which i eat Coconut Macaroons could allow a similar statement to be made about me, but obviously I wouldn’t stoop so low as to appear on BBC 3. Other oddballs include somebody who only eats soap and a middle aged woman who has spent the past decade eating only off the scraps of other peoples’ shattered hopes and dreams. She sounds like my kind of lady.

Oh yeh, and there’s the Brit Awards (Wednesday, ITV1, 8pm) on at the same time It’s a shame that such unfortunate scheduling will mean nobody gets to watch this. But y’know, that man just eats salt and vinegar crisps, so no doubt that’s too exciting to miss.

Though TV

Fudge Tunnel 96

NOT

Russel Brand: Now, I know he’s an easy target and all, but when I browse TV Choice and he is all I can see, he’s deserving. I hope his ridiculous over exposure will mean we soon get sick of him, like with Vernon Kay. Or do we still like him? I despair at you people. And he used to look like Ian Brown.

Film Choice seem to disagree, declaring that “the cream of British music and the best international acts go head-to-head for a gong” (NO, I don’t think so Elaine Penn, I don’t see The Blow up for any awards, do you?) and then rather naiively says that “all eyes will be on host Russel Brand (well that’s true enough, you gawping fools) to see if he can stop this year’s BRIT Awards descending into chaos”.

Well no, that’s not the case is it, because the horrid man has been employed to make jokes about penises and...well I think that’s pretty much it.

One ray of metaphorical light is in that Cat Power is nominated for Best International Female. And I think she might be at the awards, which means we can look forward to a wide shot of her table as the idiot camera men try to work out which one is her. I roll my eyes.

Which on msn looks like this: 8-) . Fun times, Cheerio x

N.T.O. That’s right, there is a new television order, as this week sees the unveiling of five new TV Editors.

You vted in your thousands over the past month on BBC4’s Make Me A TV Ed, and at the end of the series only these five remained. So we present to you, TV Jazz, TV Francesca, TV Ben, TV Karl and TV Guy. Which ones do you think have the best names? I’d say TV Jazz and TV Guy myself. They are edgy.

These people are of good stock in my opinion, their email addresses range from the boring to the ridiculous but we cannot hold that against them. From Monday to Friday in these listings, please frolic in their hilarity and prepare yourself for the come down of TV Neil and TV Ellen taking over the reins with their usual brand of filth

Land Before Time Vii: The Stone Of Cold Fire (Friday, BBC2, 11.00am) sounds good ‘cause it has cartoon dinosaurs in it and no humans, which means it’s not gonna be some sick love story that makes me lose even more hope in humanity, but rather in Dinosaurs (prehistoricity?), whom I hold out little hope for anyway.

Sport For those of you who can’t bear to have your opinion of the current Britsh mainstream music scene stomped any further into the ground then enjoy the FA Cup fourth-round replay that pits Bolton Wanderers v Arsenal (Wednesday, BBC1, 8.00pm). I predict a victory for Bolton, because Arsenal just don’t seem to know how to play against them.

More TV Stuff

and copied and pasted song lyrics.

Soon enough a whole TV Desk ransition will have occured, and we three will be no more. Who knows...it might get good again?

REJOICE!

It looks like every program worth writing about this week has been crammed into Wednesday. Which also happens to be Valentines Day doesn’t it? Perhaps this is because TV schedulers know that everyone will be at home moping and wanting to watch twats on the telly to make themselves feel better. Eitherway, this week’s Never Mind The Buzzcocks (BBC2, 10.00PM) features Greatest Man On Telly, Simon Amstell and Greatest Twat Full Stop, Sam Preston, as the realisation that his wife’s a complete twat comes a little too close to home and sees him storming off the set. Brilliant.

And there’s a new Russell Brand sitcom. He ‘s taking over EVERYTHING.

28 gairrhydd

MONDAY

FEBRUARY.12.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

The Long Riders

Hands On Nature

Wales Tonight

God Is Green

Out Of Practice

BBC1 11.35pm

BBC2 1.45pm

ITV1 6.00pm

C4 8.00pm

five 6.30pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Shopping the Supermarkets 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am Living in the Sun 11:45am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm Best of Friends 5:00pm MI High 5:30pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Junior Mastermind I’ve been called a ‘special child’ in my time, I’ll have you know 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Panorama 9:00pm New Tricks 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The Royle Family Never was a fan of this programme 11:05pm Film 2007 with Jonathan Ross Nor this one for that matter 11:35pm The Long Riders Sounds like it could be a porno. It’s not. And shame on you for thinking it too. It’s BBC 1 for goodness sake, have some bloody decency.

1:15am Sign Zone:The Armstrongs: The Movie 2:45am Sign Zone:The Truth About Food 3:45am Sign Zone:Planet Food 4:10am Sign Zone:Wanted Down Under 4:55am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:40am Balamory 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Come Outside 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Toddworld 8:00am CBBC:Arthur 8:25am Mona the Vampire 8:50am Newsround 8:55am Suspect 9:20am Lizzie McGuire 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am A Gift for Heidi 12:10pm Dangermouse 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Animal Park 1:45pm Hands on Nature 2:15pm Perfect Strangers 2:45pm Escape to the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Safari School 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm Nature's Calendar 7:30pm Grow Your Own Veg! 8:00pm University Challenge. Paxman asks two poncey Oxbridge Colleges how Melchior d’Hondecoeter’s The Floating Feather gained its name and then berates them no end for getting it wrong. Excellent stuff. For the record I don’t know, I just like the Wikipedia main page. A lot.

8:30pm An Island Parish 9:00pm The Verdict 10:30pm Newsnight Hopefully more Paxman. A girl can dream right?

11:20pm 21st Century Bach 11:35pm The Big Kahuna 1:00am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:Suenos - World Spanish 17-19 3:00am Eurografters

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: Dancing on Ice Special 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Coronation Street Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's All Star Supermarket Sweep Shows how little TV I watch to not know this was back on. Enjoy.

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street OMG! HOT GOSS ALERT! Apparently Tracy snogs David later this month! Yes! You read it here (via Closer’s TV listings section) first.

8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Trial and Retribution 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Karaoke Queen 11:30pm Killer on the Wards: Tonight 12:00am WAGs Boutique They’re all twats. And dress like twats. And only twats would watch this. Fact.

1:00am ITV Play: The Mint 3:50am Dial A Mum 4:25am Dial A Mum 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Preachers to Be 10:30am Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:00am Young Black Farmers 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Ed 1:20pm Supporting Acts 1:30pm Show Boat 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy Richard likes to say stuff like ‘at this time of day we can show both buttock cheeks, but not a pair of titties’ Mega.

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Losing Myself Insert some crude and inappropriate joke here. Actually i’ve just realised it’s about dementia. Whatevs.

8:00pm God is Green 9:00pm Why Did Dad Choose to Die? 10:00pm ER 11:05pm The Sex Inspectors 11:55pm 4 Music:Live from Abbey Road 1:00am 4 Music:Download Festival 2006 2:00am 4 Music:Truck Festival 2:25am The Insider: Size Zero - Who is to Blame? Let’s face it love, you’re probably up watching this to get tips, never mind wanting to place blame. Go on, eat that pie. 2:55am The Channel 4 Political Awards 2007 3:45am Drifting 4:00am All About Us: Living and Growing (Sex Ed 9-11) 4:15am All About Us: Living and Growing (Sex Ed 9-11)

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends Spiders have 48 ‘knees’ (8 legs with 6 joints each innit) I’d be one of Miss Spiders Sunny Patch mates just for that alone.

7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky On the other hand, what’s Bottle Top Bill got to offer me? 7:45am Make Way for Noddy No. 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:35am Sailor Sid 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Treacherous Beauties 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Mary Higgins Clark's Let Me Call You Sweetheart 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm Monster Moves 9:00pm Extraordinary People: The Boy with a New Head 10:00pm Prison Break 11:00pm The Sexiest Ads in the World 12:05am Arrest and Trial 12:35am Arrest and Trial 1:00am USPGA Golf 1:50am NASCAR Nextel Cup 2:40am Le Championnat - French Football the Time: Night of Combat - Kick Boxing 4:20am Boxing: Fight of the Week

7:00pm Dog Borstal 8:00pm The Baby Borrowers: Friends and Family 8:30pm Thieves Like Us 7:00pm Dog Borstal 8:00pm The Baby Borrowers: Friends and Family 8:30pm Thieves Like Us 7:00pm Dog Borstal 8:00pm The Baby Borrowers: Friends and Family 8:30pm Thieves Like Us 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm Comedy Special: Living with Two People You Like Individually But Not as a Couple 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Fat Men Can't Hunt Really? I heard Henry VIII loved a good hunt. 11:25pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps He probably also enjoyed this. Sort of.

11:55pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:25am Comedy Special: Living with Two People You Like Individually But Not as a Couple 12:55am Thieves Like Us 1:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:25am The Baby Borrowers

7:00pm First Contact 8:00pm The World 7:00pm First Contact 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Living with the Future 7:00pm First Contact 8:00pm The World 9:00pm The Great British Holiday 10:00pm Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 10:30pm Milosevic on Trial: Storyville 11:30pm The Great British Holiday Some songs in my music library with holiday in the title: Holiday Girl, Bank Holiday, Holiday Song, Handjobs for the Holidays, actually bugger it, it’s so much more fun to type in random words and marvel at your pretentious and fey collection with a level of joy akin to discovering something great and worth discovering. I could be here for hours. 12:30am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 1:00am Living with the Future 1:30am Milosovic on Trial: Storyville 2:30am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 3:00am The Great British Holiday Swindle

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am Emmerdale 10:50am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:35am Judge Judy 12:00pm Coronation Street 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Movies Now7:10pm Dancing on Ice 8:30pm Dancing on Ice - the Skate Off 9:00pm Haunted Homes 10:00pm The Fugitive 12:35am Coronation Street 1:05am Coronation Street

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Will Smith: Still Jiggy with It 8:00am Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Westlife's Hotties Chart 11:00am Fresh Tracks 12:00pm Nothing but... Tearjerkers 1:00pm Will Smith: Still Jiggy with It 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Heartbreakers 11:20pm The Simple Life 11:50pm The Simple Life 12:20am Scrubs 12:50am Scrubs 1:15am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 2:10am The War at Home 2:30am Desperate Housewives3:15am The Simple Life 3:35am The Simple Life 4:00am One Tree Hill 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched 5:25am Switched

7:00am Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 7:15am Planed Plant Bach:Mr Men 7:20am Planed Plant Bach:Ribidires 7:35am Planed Plant Bach:Gel a FFion 7:45am Planed Plant Bach:Hwre!

Dyma Nodi 8:00am Planed Plant Bach:Cer I Greu 8:25am Planed Plant Bach:Y Brodyr Adrenalini 8:35am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Preachers to Be 10:30am Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:00am Young Black Farmers 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Mr Men 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Ribidires 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Mouthing Off - Farewell Packets of Ten 1:20pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 4:25pm Planed Plant:Rygbi 100 Per Cent 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

29

TUESDAY

FEBRUARY.12.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Never Did Me Any Harm C4 9.00pm

Life on Mars

Masterchef Goes Large

The Ferret

BBC1 9.00pm

BBC2 6.30pm

ITV1 7.30pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Shopping the Supermarkets 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am Living in the Sun 11:45am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm SMart 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Watchdog 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Holby City 9:00pm Life on Mars 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Week In, Week Out 11:05pm ONE Life 11:45pm The Heart of Me 1:40am Sign Zone:Seaside Rescue 2:10am Sign Zone:Ray Mears' Wild Food 3:10am Sign Zone:Wanted Down Under 3:55am Joins BBC News 24 I am finding it increasingly difficult to think of witticisms to fill in these gaps. Let me instead proclaim my love for BBC, and preach that you should all watch religiously. Especially when Huw Edwards is on. That man is fucking God. 3:55am Joins BBC News 24 3:55am Joins BBC News 24 3:55am Joins BBC News 24 3:55am Joins BBC News 24 3:55am Joins BBC News 24 3:55am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:40am Balamory 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Come Outside 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Toddworld 8:00am CBBC:Arthur 8:25am Mona the Vampire 8:50am Newsround 8:55am Suspect 9:20am Lizzie McGuire is Hilary Duff when she wasn't fit. Not really worth getting up at 20 past 9 on a Tuesday for. Although it is better than 10am lectures on the victorian novel while still nursing a hangover from fun factory that is by no means bloody fun.

9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am The Adventures of Tom Thumb and Thumbelina 12:10pm Dangermouse is brilliant. End. 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 2:00pm am.pm 3:00pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Safari School 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm The Madness of Modern Families 7:30pm Wild Florida 8:00pm Dr Alice Roberts: Don't Die Young 8:30pm Bill Oddie Back in the USA 9:00pm The Verdict 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 12:20am International One-Day Cricket 1:00am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am Revisewise Science 1 4:00am Revisewise Science 2

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Coronation Street Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's All Star Supermarket Sweep I can't at this precise moment think of anything worse than this show.

I thought ordinary supermarket sweep was bad enough. I'm surprised Ofcom haven't received 40,000 complaints about radiation from his perma-tan.

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Ferret 8:00pm Fortune: Million Pound Giveaway Finale 9:00pm Trial and Retribution 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm The BRITs Are Coming and wow, I'm fucking excited. There's nothing I enjoy more than watching mostly shit bands getting recognition for mostly shit songs. A must-see.

11:35pm ITV at the Movies 12:00am ITV Play: The Mint 4:10am Redcoats Extra 4:35am The Jules and Lulu Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early

6:00am Grabbit the Rabbit 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Preachers to Be 10:30am Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:00am Young Black Farmers i wanted to find something funny to say about this. I decided against it.

12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Ed 1:20pm King of the Hill 1:50pm In Your Dreams 2:00pm Sea Wife 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Losing Myself 8:00pm You Are What You Eat: Gillian Moves In 9:00pm Never Did Me Any Harm 10:00pm Shameless 11:05pm The Sex Inspectors I love channel four. I love channel four. I love channel four. I love channel four. And so should everybody else for programmes like these.

11:55pm Friday Night Project 12:55am My Name Is Earl 1:25am Distraction 1:55am 3 Minute Wonder: Too Much 2:00am The War at Home 2:25am The War at Home 2:50am 3 Minute Wonder: Too Much 2:55am Reasons to be Cheerful 3:05am Bob and Margaret 3:30am 3 Minute Wonder 3:35am The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 4:00am All About Us

7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:35am Sailor Sid 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Hidden in America 3:35pm A Piano for Mrs Cimino 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Canaletto in England 8:00pm Black Hawk Down: The True Story I got excited when I saw this, because I thought channel 5 were showing something actually good that they hadn't poached off ITV when the ratings got shit. But it's not the Ridley Scott film at all. Channel 5 are still wank.

9:00pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm CSI: Miami 11:00pm True CSI I heard a woman on a bus in Hackney last week waxing lyrical about CSI, in between telling the woman next to her who she had never met before her life story, including misunderstood abusive husband who used to push her down the stairs, and children who she can't see for legal reasons. Much better than CSI if you ask.

12:05am The FBI Files 1:05am NBA Action 1:30am NBA Basketball 4:10am Race and Rally UK 4:35am Motorsport Mundial

7:00pm Dog Borstal 8:00pm The Baby Borrowers 9:00pm New Wedding Stories 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Thieves Like Us 11:00pm Family Guy 11:20pm Family Guy 11:45pm Man Stroke Woman I am somewhat intrigued by the premise of this show, so I went on the BBC website and it's got Nick Frost in it (that fat bloke from Shaun of the Dead and Spaced) so it could be pretty funny.

Speaking of, Hot Fuzz is out next week and I can't bloody wait. I wish I was best mates with Simon Pegg. Bonus points for this show's producer working on The Office. You may recognise him as the homosexual Egyptian in the wheelchair in Gervais' Politics.

12:15am Fat Men Can't Hunt 1:10am New Wedding Stories 2:10am Dog Borstal Definition of borstal: (in England) a school for delinquent boys that provides therapy and vocational training. Fascinating. 3:05am I'm a Child Anorexic

12:00am Switch Off Something 12:40am Never Mind the Full Stops 1:10am Time Shift: Planet Ping Pong I don't have a problem with ping pong.

But I just can't understand why BBC4 would want to play this programme twice in one day. This to me suggests there really is no need for these gazillion and one channels you get on Sky. Fuck multi-channel. Go terrestrial.

2:10am The Great British Holiday 3:10am Switch Off Something 3:50am Never Mind the Full Stops Today it is snowing and so I don't want to venture outside. So instead I went on youtube and wasted my time by looking at videos of members of The Horrors dancing to R&B music. I recommend the same to anybody who wants to avoid the jocks pummelling each other in violent snowball fights.

Although I do want to wear my snow hat in the appropriate weather for once.

Please.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm American Idol 8:00pm American Idol 9:00pm WAGs Boutique 10:00pm The Grammy Awards 2007 12:00am Test Drive My Girlfriend 12:30am Test Drive My Girlfriend 1:00am ITV Play: The Mint 4:00am Teleshopping

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Stallone Alone 8:00am Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Westlife's Hotties Chart 11:00am Fresh Albums 12:00pm Nothing but...

Heartbreakers 1:00pm Stallone Alone 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm The OC 10:00pm Skins 11:05pm Shameless 12:05am Scrubs 12:35am Scrubs 1:00am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 1:50am Skins 2:50am No Angels 3:50am The War at Home 4:20am One Tree Hill 4:50am Switched 5:10am Switched 5:35am Switched 4:50am Switched 5:10am Switched 5:35am Switched 4:50am Switched 5:10am Switched

8:35am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Preachers to Be 10:30am Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:00am My Crazy Life 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Peppa Pinc 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Sam Tan 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Mouthing Off - Contagious 1:20pm The Search 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Joni Trons 4:30pm Planed Plant:Helynt Hurt Tywysogion Cymru 4:40pm Planed Plant:Mona y Fampir 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:25pm Tipit 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Y Byd ar Bedwar 9:00pm Tywysogion 10:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 11:00pm Child Genius 12:30am ER 1:30am Do You Want to Live Forever? 2:55am Help Me Help My Child

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WEDNESDAY

Veronica Guerin

Masterchef Goes Large

BBC1 11.15pm

BBC2 6.30pm

9:15am Shopping the Supermarkets Given that in my fridge I currently have half a carton of Orange Juice and a few expired grapes, I should probably do some shopping of my own instead of watching sub-par morning programming. However, given that it’s not yet 10 o’ clock I shall probably be sleeping through my lectures at this point.

10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am Living in the Sun 11:45am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm What's New Scooby-Doo? 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm Best of Friends 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround I find it’s much less depressing to use this as my one and only source for news. I like the colours better. 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2007 7:30pm X-Ray 8:00pm Match of the Day Live 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:45pm Wales: Power and the People 11:15pm Veronica Guerin 12:50am Sign Zone:The Madness of Modern Families 1:20am Sign Zone:Wild Caribbean 2:10am Sign Zone:Wanted Down Under 2:55am Joins BBC News

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:40am Balamory 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Come Outside 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Toddworld 8:00am CBBC:Arthur 8:25am Mona the Vampire 8:50am Newsround 8:55am Suspect 9:20am Lizzie McGuire 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am Iolo's Special Reserves 11:30am am.pm 12:10pm Natural World 1:00pm Return to Tuscany 1:30pm As BBC2 2:00pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Safari School 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm Top Gear This week Clarkson and co. test run overpriced super cars that you will never be able to afford, at speeds which you will never be able to realistically reach. Yes, this program is indeed completely useless. Unless, of course, you’re a 40 year old man wearing a denim jacket at the very peak of your mid-life crisis.

8:00pm Dragons' Den 9:00pm Party Animals 9:50pm The Verdict 10:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 12:20am The Verdict 12:50am The Harlot's Handbook 1:20am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Revisewise Challenge: Science

9:00pm Freaky Eaters 10:00pm Beverly Hills Cop II 11:35pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:05am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:35am New Wedding Stories 1:30am Freaky Eaters 3:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:30am Comedy Special: Living with Two People you Like Individually... But Not as a Couple To review tonight’s television; I make that four episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps in the space of just one evening. Oh boy, the BBC have really gone that extra mile to bring us quality, original entertainment programming. If you needed any evidence to prove that this channel is a complete waste of time, then this folks is it. Well at least during the rest of BBC3’s allocated programming they have lined us up with not one, but two hours of New Weddings Stories! That’s if the second hour isn’t a repeat from the same evening.

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Cooking in the Danger Zone 9:00pm Medical Mavericks 10:00pm More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy Yes, because Dawn French is in the situation to judge anybody else’s sense of humour. You’d think it would be impossible for this woman to be any more irritating, but no, she’s married to Lenny Henry as well. I can imagine the dinner-time conversation at this household to be almost as dull as the combined output of their own careers. Actually I’m being harsh, that’s an impossible standard for any level of dull dinner table conversation. 10:30pm Milosevic on Trial: Storyville 11:30pm An Islamic History of Europe 1:00am Medical Mavericks 2:00am Milosovic on Trial: Storyville 3:00am Cooking in the Danger Zone 3:30am Medical Mavericks 3:30am Medical Mavericks

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FEBRUARY.12.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

This Morning

Crip On A Trip

BBC2 2.00pm

C4 9.30am

So You Think You Can Nurse? five 8.00pm

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Coronation Street Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's All Star Supermarket Sweep 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The BRIT Awards 2007: Live To give a quick preview of your guaranteed disappointment should you decide to watch this farce; Thom Yorke, Jarvis Cocker, The Flaming Lips, Gnarls Barkley and Cat Power all go home empty handed, whilst Snow Patrol pick up best album and Robbie Williams picks up best single for ‘Rudebox’.

10:00pm The Abbey 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Harry Hill's TV Burp 11:35pm Music and Lyrics: ITV Premiere Special 12:00am ITV Play: The Mint 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show If you feel like staying up until 4 in the morning to watch over-the-top chav half-wits argue over their latest absurd domestic problem, then today is your lucky day.

5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am Grabbit the Rabbit 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Crip on a Trip 10:30am Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:00am Young Black Farmers 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Brief Encounter 2:00pm Room for Improvement 2:30pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal Noel Edmonds shirt; the only reason to wake up before dinner time. 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Losing Myself 8:00pm Relocation, Relocation I don’t live with my mum anymore, but if I did then I’d probably be watching this. No my house didn’t have other rooms, and yes there was no other alternative.

Honest.

9:00pm Jamie's Chef 10:00pm Desperate Housewives Oh Desperate Housewives; the only reason for the same person not to go back to sleep again after dinner has been consumed. The perfect evening fix for trash television at its absolute finest.

11:05pm The Sex Inspectors 11:55pm Gumball 3000 12:25am Gumball 3000 12:55am Goalissimo! 2:00am Freesports on 4 2:25am KOTV 2:55am Bauhaus World Bobsleigh Championships 2007

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:35am Sailor Sid 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:30pm Surviving Love 3:20pm five news update 3:25pm Smoke Signal 5:00pm UEFA Cup Football 7:30pm Home and Away 8:00pm So You Think You Can Nurse?

9:00pm Greenfingers 10:50pm Celebrities Uncensored Sounds exciting doesn’t it? No, what this actually means is a whole hours worth of shamed reality-TV contestants stumbling out of tacky nightclubs, after resorting to drinking away their failed existence.

11:50pm PartyPoker.com European Open III 1:25am NHL Ice Hockey 4:00am Race and Rally UK 4:25am NHRA Drag Racing I once came back drunk and thought this programme would be comic gold. It was rubbish though, you can barely make out the cross dressers behind their ridiculous vehicles. You would have thought an egg and spoon race would promise more hilarity.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The BRITs 2007: Red Carpet 8:00pm Neighbours from Hell 9:00pm Al Murray's Happy Hour 10:00pm Coronation Street 10:30pm The BRITs 2007 Encore 11:30pm Oasis: Lock the Box 12:30am Comedy Cuts 12:55am ITV Play: The Mint

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Nick Lachey Brightens Your Day 8:00am Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Westlife's Hotties Chart 11:00am Fresh Stuff 12:00pm Nothing but... Smug Couples 1:00pm Nick Lachey Brightens Your Day 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ugly Betty 10:00pm High School Dance 11:00pm Desperate Housewives 12:00am Scrubs 12:30am Scrubs 1:00am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 1:50am One Tree Hill 2:30am High School Dance 3:30am Desperate Housewives 4:10am Switched 4:30am Switched 4:55am Switched 5:15am Switched

7:00am Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 7:15am Planed Plant Bach:Caio 7:20am Planed Plant Bach:Bobinogi 7:35am Planed Plant Bach:Gel a FFion 7:45am Planed Plant Bach:Hwre!

Dyma Nodi 8:00am Planed Plant:Cer I Greu 8:25am Planed Plant:Y Brodyr Adrenalini 8:35am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Ysgolion (Schools) (9.30-12.00):Young Black Farmers 10:00am Ysgolion (Schools) (9.30-12.00):Crip on a Trip 11:00am Ysgolion (Schools) (.30-12.00):Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:30am Bobinogi 11:45am Bobinogi 1200pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 12:45p Planed Plant Bach:Caio 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Bobinogi 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm You Are What You Eat: Gillian Moves In 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Tair Slic 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Stwffio 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00)

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THURSDAY

FEBRUARY.12.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Street Doctor

Dr Alice

Call Up

Miracles in the Womb

Criminal Minds

BBC1 7.00pm

BBC2 7.30pm

ITV1 11.00pm

Channel 4 9.00pm

five 10.00pm

9:15am Shopping the Supermarkets 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am Living in the Sun 11:45am Car Booty Gangsta rappers admire the rear ends of each others pimped up rides, probably. 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision The Chuckle Brothers are 62 and 59 respectively; personally I had no idea they were so old. 3:40pm What's New Scooby-Doo? 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm SMart 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Street Doctor 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Waterloo Road 9:00pm Hotel Babylon 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Dragon's Eye 11:05pm Question Time 12:05am Black Sunday 2:30am Sign Zone:When Love Comes to Town 3:00am Sign Zone:The Children of Helen House 3:30am Sign Zone:Wanted Down Under 4:15am Joins BBC News 24 4:15am Joins BBC News 24 4:15am Joins BBC News 24 4:15am Joins BBC News 24 4:15am Joins BBC News 24 4:15am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:40am Balamory 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Come Outside 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Toddworld 8:00am CBBC:Arthur 8:25am Mona the Vampire Gothic 70’s porn to enjoy while breakfasting 8:50am Newsround 8:55am Suspect 9:20am Lizzie McGuire 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am Duck Tales - the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp Scrooge McDuck takes his nephews to Egypt to find a pyramid that contains a magic lamp. This movie has faced allegations of racism in relation to negative representations of the middle eastern talking animals. IMDB is well useful. 12:10pm Dangermouse 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Safari School 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm Bill Oddie Back in the USA 7:30pm Dr Alice 8:00pm The Truth About Food 9:00pm The Verdict 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 12:20am Diameter of the Bomb: Storyville 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 1:40am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Coronation Street Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive I don't wanna spoil this for you, but I'm guessing someone falls on their arse.

3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's All Star Supermarket Sweep In today's episode Dale Winton goes to visit former Big Brother contestant Bubble in his new job sweeping the floors of the Croyden Iceland.

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Fishlock's Wild Tracks 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm Bonkers 10:00pm Benidorm 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Call Up 11:30pm Waterfront 12:00am Unsigned 12:30am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am Make Me Perfect 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen5:00am ITV Nightscreen5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:00am ITV Nightscreen5:30am ITV

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond I don't 8:30am Everybody Loves Raymond Really I don't, Raymond's a twat. 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Booze: A Young Person's Guide 10:30am Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:00am Search for Cool 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Magnificent Obsession 2:30pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Losing Myself 8:00pm 10 Years Younger 9:00pm Miracles in the Womb David Blane spends 40 days inside a woman's uterus dazzling us with miraculous card tricks; the pictures are brought to us by the magic of ultrasound.

10:35pm The Sex Inspectors 11:25pm Let the Music Play: The Barry White Story 12:30am Bright Young Things 2:20am Final Communique 2:25am Fear of Flying 3:25am Why Did Dad Choose to Die? Because of you. 4:25am House of Agoraphobics 5:25am Countdown 50, 49, 48, 47, 46, 45, 44, 43, 42, 41, 40, 39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...BOOM!

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:35am Sailor Sid 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard Expoiting the great unwashed to make us all feel that little bit better about ourselves. Nobody does it like you Trisha. 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:45pm Escape from Zahrain 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Miracle on the Mountain 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:15pm UEFA Cup Football: Zulte Waregem v Newcastle United Watch Newcastle lose to these plucky Flemish minnows 10:00pm Criminal Minds 11:00pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12:00am John Barnes' Football Night 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 1:00am Quiz Call 4:00am Dutch Football5:00am Football Argentina Highlights

7:00pm Dog Borstal 8:00pm The Baby Borrowers 9:00pm Sex, Lice and Videotape 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Man Stroke Woman 11:00pm Comedy Shuffle 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Sex, Lice and Videotape 1:25am Man Stroke Woman 1:55am Comedy Shuffle 2:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:20am Dog Borstal It shouldn't be called BBC3, instead it should becalled the BBC Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps channel, four episodes in one night? E4 may do it with Friends but that programme is in the canon of sitcoms. Plus Friends ran for 236 episodes and there's only like 55 episodes of 2PoLaaPoC for them to choose from digital TV is stupid.

7:00pm Sounds of the Sixties 7:10pm The Avengers 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Marcus Brigstocke's Trophy People 9:00pm Rageh Inside Iran 10:30pm Kenneth Williams Fantabulosa! 11:50pm Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 12:20am Soul Britannia 1:20am Marcus Brigstocke's Trophy People 1:50am Rageh Inside Iran 3:20am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 3:50am Marcus Brigstocke's Trophy People Marcus Brigstocke used to be in children’s television; he starred in a show called Stupid! The show centres around the mythical King Stupid formerly played by Brigstocke, an immortal who is the instigator of all stupidity on earth. King Stupid has files on every human and can make them behave as stupidly as his whim desires. He resides in his castle in the Ether World, a pan-dimensional realm home to many.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm The New Adventures of Superman 8:00pm WAGs Boutique 9:00pm Kelly Osbourne: Turning Japanese 10:00pm Supernatural 11:00pm Comedy Cuts 11:30pm Entourage 12:05am The Office: An American Workplace

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Drew Barrymore and More 8:00am Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Westlife's Hotties Chart 11:00am Fresh Gigs 12:00pm Nothing but... Face Eating 1:00pm Drew Barrymore and More 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm ER 10:00pm Skins 11:00pm Heartbreakers 1:20am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 2:10am Skins 3:10am No Angels 4:10am The War at Home 4:30am Switched 4:50am Switched 5:15am Switched 5:35am Switched 4:50am Switched 5:15am Switched 5:35am Switched 4:50am Switched 5:15am Switched

7:00am Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 7:15am Planed Plant Bach:Pingu 7:20am Planed Plant Bach:Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 7:25am Planed Plant Bach:Meees! 7:40am Planed Plant Bach:Gel a FFion 7:45am Planed Plant Bach:Hwre! Dyma Nodi 8:00am Planed Plant:Cer I Greu 8:25am Planed Plant:Y Brodyr Adrenalini 8:35am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Ysgolion (Schools) (9.30-12.00):Young Black Farmers 10:00am Ysgolion (Schools) (9.30-12.00):Booze: A Young Person's Guide 11:00am Ysgolion (Schools) (9.30-12.00):Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Pingu 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Meees! 1:15pm Science Scams

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff,CF24 4NN

02920 229977

32 gairrhydd

FRIDAY

FEBRUARY.12.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Breakfast

Breakfast

BBC1 6.00am

BBC1 6.00am

9:15am Shopping the Supermarkets 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am Living in the Sun 11:45am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News 1:30pm Regional News 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC: ChuckleVision 3:40pm What's New Scooby Doo? 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm Best of Friends 5:00pm Gina's Laughing Gear My er, mate once invested in some Laughing Gear off’ve a bloke down the pub. I doubt however, that it is the same stuff Gina has or else the only thing she’d be capable of doing at 5pm would be giggling at how heavy her fingers were.

5:30pm Newsround One of my old school friends actually managed to force Lizo (of Newsround fame) to tell him to ‘Fuck Off’ because he insisted on dry humping his leg in the fashion of a dog on heat. I’ve seen him use this fact as a chat-up line once.

5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm A Question of Sport 7:30pm Real Story with Fiona Bruce 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm After You've Gone 9:00pm Lilies 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Comedy Connections This week: the subtle link between Catherine Tate and all the misery in the world.

11:15pm Platoon

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:40am Balamory 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Come Outside 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Jackanory Junior 8:00am CBBC:Arthur 8:25am Mona the Vampire 8:50am Newsround 8:55am Suspect 9:20am Lizzie McGuire 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am The Land before Time VII: Stone of Cold Fire What always puzzled me about these films was the fact despite the American accent only being a relatively recent development in the entire history of being, it still, according to this film, apparently predates mankind. 12:10pm Dangermouse 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:30pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Safari School 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm Scrum V Live 9:00pm Gardeners' World 9:30pm Nuclear Secrets Hey it’s all well and good getting pissy about North Korea getting the Atomic Bomb, but if you have a TV show basically telling you how to make one, don’t come crying to me when your teeth shatter and your skin melts.

10:30pm Newsnight 11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 12:35am Ski Sunday Special 1:20am Star Trek 1:20am Star Trek 1:20am Star Trek 1:20am Star Trek

7:00pm Doctor Who Confidential 7:30pm Doctor Who 8:15pm Doctor Who 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm Man Stroke Woman 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:00pm Three's Outtakes 11:30pm Pulling 12:00am Family Guy 12:20am Family Guy 12:45am Man Stroke Woman 1:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:45am Three's Outtakes 2:15am Comedy Special: Living with Two People you Like Individually... But Not as a Couple This sounds riveting.I’m almost considering buying a freeview box just for this. In fact, I’m probably going to go and get one right now so I know for sure that I won’t miss out.

2:45am Fat Men Can't Hunt First this then Big Boys Don’t Cry, well what can I do then? 3:15am Comedy Special: Living with Two People you Like Individually... But Not as a Couple Meh.

8:00pm The World 8:30pm Rock Goes to College 9:00pm Soul Britannia 10:00pm Soul Britannia at the Barbican 11:00pm Marcus Brigstocke's Trophy People 11:30pm The Avengers 1:20am Soul Britannia at the Barbican 2:20am Medical Mavericks 3:20am Soul Britannia Nobody watches BBC Four unless you are terminally smug or a Jazz fan. The two are usually linked, to be fair. Therefore, I shall offer you some helpful advice instead.

If you knock a hole in your wall, but cannot afford to get somebody in to fix it, try using toothpaste or a mixture of flour and water to fill a small hole, and for bigger holes, first pack the hole with crumpled newspaper. Use small grain sandpaper to get a smooth finish,and paint to completion. Voila!

One fooled landlord later, and you are laughing.

Ha Ha.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Breakfast

Breakfast

Breakfast

BBC1 6.00am

BBC1 6.00am

BBC1 6.00am

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:00pm This Morning: Dancing on Ice Special 12:30pm Loose Women This programme always promises so much with the title, but I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been off school and tuned in under the pretence that it was something else entirely. 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Coronation Street Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive Here’s my very own exclusive about Dancing on Ice; it’s shit. 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's All Star Supermarket Sweep 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Road Price Protest: Tonight 8:30pm A Touch of Frost 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm The BRITs Backstage This will almost certainly have either Lauren Laverne or Fearne Cotton wishing to interview Oasis, but will inevitably have to settle for The Feeling. 12:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am 60 Minute Makeover 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:55am Frasier 9:30am Giving Up the Weed 10:30am Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:00am Fame Asylum 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm The Raid 2:00pm Room for Improvement 2:30pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:30pm The Insider: Kidneys For Sale 8:00pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 9:00pm Ugly Betty 10:00pm Friday Night Project 11:05pm Balls of Steel 11:50pm 4 Music:The Album Chart Show 12:25am 4 Music:4Music in Session: Damien Rice 12:55am 4 Music:JD Set 1:10am 4 Music:4Play: Jeremy Warmsley 1:25am 50 Pounds Says You'll Watch This £50 says I’d rather eat my own teeth. 2:25am Guilty by Suspicion aka Trial by The Sun. 4:15am House of Agoraphobics Well, it’s hardly going to be ‘Giant, Open Field of Agoraphobics’, is it? 5:15am Countdown I’m rambling because I’m home alone and most of my friends have gone to see Patrick Wolf.BUT! Clwb later so a light at the end of the metaphorical tunnel.

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends This was actually the working title for The Horrors’ upcoming album. 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky Is this some kind of pro-drinking propaganda?

Either way I don’t care. 7:45am Make Way for Noddy Or else he’ll mow you down in a shower of AK bullets.

8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:35am Sailor Sid 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Dalva 3:40pm Our House I actually don’t care what any of you say, but Madness are one of Britain’s most underrated bands of all time. I thoroughly recommend that everyone owns at least one album off the legendary 2-Tone record label.

5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Wild Events 8:00pm Nick Baker's Weird Creatures This week: A Kasabian fan with an IQ higher than the amount of knuckles he owns.

9:00pm NCIS 10:00pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:00pm Guys and Dolls

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory I actually got a bit excited when I thought that this was actually footage of Cardiff’s own Fun Factory, but then again, it just wouldn’t be the same without the omnipresent stench of sick and underlying threat of violence from Rubber Duck yobs. 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Simon Pegg and Nick Frost Feel the Fuzz 8:00am Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Westlife's Hotties Chart 11:00am Fresh Films 12:00pm Nothing but... Bitter Break Ups 1:00pm Simon Pegg and Nick Frost Feel the Fuzz 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm My Name Is Earl 9:30pm Peep Show 10:00pm Scream 12:05am Scrubs 12:35am Scrubs 1:00am The War at Home 1:30am Scream 3:30am Desperate Housewives 4:15am One Tree Hill 4:55am Switched 5:20am Switched 4:55am Switched 5:20am Switched 4:55am Switched

7:00am Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 7:15am Planed Plant Bach:Binca 7:20am Planed Plant Bach:Penblwydd Pwy 7:25am Planed Plant Bach:Rala Rwdins 7:40am Planed Plant Bach:Gel a FFion 7:45am Planed Plant Bach:Hwre! Dyma Nodi 8:00am Planed Plant:Cer I Greu 8:25am Planed Plant:Y Brodyr Adrenalini 8:35am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Giving Up the Weed 10:30am Sex, Lies and Soaps 11:00am Search for Cool 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Cegin Twts 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Binca 12:55pm Planed Plant Bach:Penblwydd Pwy 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Rala Rwdins 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder 1:20pm Britain's Worst Weather 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.005.00):Bywyd Cudd Sabrina 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Teledu Eddie 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

33

SATURDAY

FEBRUARY.12.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Kaiser Chiefs Live

The BRIT show

Pokerface

The Simple Life

The Killers

BBC3 12.55am

itv2 3.20pm

ITV1 8.45pm

E4 4.05am

s4c 10.15am

6:00am Breakfast I couldnt eat breakfast this morning due to the “mixing cocktails and wine” adventure I went on last night. This also lead to a “falling down stairs and bruising bottom” escapade. Now I feel like my head is filled with lukewarm tea. The newbies pages will be more exciting than mine this week, they’re all young and moist.

10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am Bill's Food 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:10pm Match of the Day Live 2:30pm Athletics: Indoor Grand Prix 4:30pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 4:45pm Final Score 5:05pm Match of the Day Live 7:20pm When Will I Be Famous? I saw an advert for this the other day, and the woman who won it was dancing with her dog. Thats meant to be a talent? I fling my cats around the room all the time and no one has given me a brand new washing machine/fitted kitchen/cash prize.

8:20pm The National Lottery: 1 vs 100 9:05pm Casualty 9:55pm When Will I Be Famous?

10:25pm BBC News; Weather 10:45pm Match of the Day 11:55pm Highlander: Endgame 1:35am Joins BBC News 24 Due to the snow today I couldnt make it to a seminar or a lecture. I was officially snowed in. My flatmate got very excited about the snow today, and went outside our front door in just a towel. In her giddiness she lost her balance and fell over.

6:00am CBeebies:Balamory 6:20am Tweenies 6:40am Big Cook Little Cook 7:00am CBBC:Roar 7:55am Arthur 8:10am Lizzie McGuire 8:30am The Story of Tracy Beaker 9:00am Our House 10:00am The Story of Tracy Beaker 10:30am Time Warp Trio 10:50am Secret Show Definetely porn.

11:10am Krypto the Superdog 11:30am The Fairly Odd Parents 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm See Hear 12:45pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 4:30pm Athletics: Indoor Grand Prix 5:45pm What the Papers Say “Global warming will kill us all, and it’s all the illegal immigrants fault. They have been turning on lights whilst we sleep and driving our cars when we are watching Eastenders.” Thats what The Daily Mail have been saying 5:55pm TOTP 2 6:25pm Meerkat Manor This actually sounds rather good, I might have to watch it.

6:50pm Meerkat Manor Dear god not another one? Fifty minutes of pure Meerkat joy. I think I may orgasm.

7:15pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 10:00pm Dragon's Den 11:00pm Comedy Map of Britain Look at the Isle of Wight isnt it FUNNY!12:00am Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 1:00am The Culture Show 1:50am The Culture Show 2:05am Red Ball Express Is it wrong that although I am very excited about seeing The Decemberists tonight in London I am somewhat more excited about the Marks and Spencers food of joy I can get at the train station.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:20am Pocoyo 6:35am Dora the Explorer 6:55am Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 7:25am Lilo and Stitch 7:50am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:10am Emperor's New School 8:35am Kim Possible 9:10am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am CITV:Horrid Henry 9:35am CITV:Bel's Boys 9:50am CITV:Tricky Quickies 9:55am CITV:Art Attack 10:20am CITV:The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 10:30am Dickinson's Real Deal 11:30am Saturday Cooks Live 1:00pm ITV News; Weather 1:05pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:10pm Planet's Funniest Animals 1:25pm American Idol 2:25pm Hello, Dolly! 5:05pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:20pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:35pm Harry Hill's TV Burp 6:05pm Dancing on Ice 7:20pm Primeval 8:20pm Dancing on Ice - The Skate Off Personally I wouldn’t bother learning the routine, I would just throw my skates at my competitors bottom side up and hope for the best.

8:50pm PokerFace Speaking of faces, Carmella in Neighbours has the most pathetic scar on her face. I was hoping for Phantom of The Opera style disfigurement.

9:50pm Al Murray's Happy Hour 10:50pm ITV News; Weather 11:05pm Big Fight Live 12:35am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:25am Don't Move, Improve 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Goalissimo! 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:Homemade 9:25am T4:Friends 9:55am T4:4Music Presents... the Killers 10:30am T4:Popworld 11:20am T4:Friends 11:50am T4:Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12:25pm T4:Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 1:30pm T4:Homemade 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Wincanton and Uttoxeter 4:20pm Location, Location, Location 4:50pm Deal or No Deal 5:35pm The Search 6:35pm Channel 4 News 7:05pm Mary Seacole: The Real Angel of the Crimea 8:05pm Britain's Worst Weather 9:05pm Vera Drake I have heard this is very good, it’s about a woman who helps enduce miscarriages in other women in the 1950’s when abortions were illegal, but she gets caught and her world explodes etc etc 11:25pm Rita, Sue and Bob Too I’m sure thats about threesomes 1:05am Sex Lives of the Potato Men Mackenzie Crook and Johnny Vegas star as the bird-chasing, self-proclaimed "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" of Birmingham in this £3 million brit-com about two lowlifes with active fantasy sex lives who deliver potatoes to various restaurants and grocer 2:30am The Jamie Kennedy Experiment 3:00am Wild Things 3:45am London Orbital 5:15am Countdown

6:00am Sunrise 6:55am Franklin 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:35am Peppa Pig 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:15am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:30am Don't Blame the Koalas 10:05am Hercules: Legendary Journeys 11:00am Xcalibur 11:35am The Gadget Show 12:25pm Built for the Kill: Predators of the Plains 12:55pm Columbo: Now You See Him 2:40pm Ladies Room 4:20pm Hanging Up Meg Ryan is in this, so avoid like a plague ridden horny leper. a.k.a blokes at fun factory on a monday. Actually any day of the week at the union or Taf. If I had said that out loud there would a crowd of women around me all high fiving me and saying things like “you go girlfriend.” But there isnt. Might make a snow man then high five him. Maybe make a Russell Brand snow man.

Would that be so wrong? Why can’t you understand our love.

6:10pm The Magnificent Seven Ride!

8:00pm five news and sport 8:10pm NCIS 9:05pm CSI:NY Have got myself some Bright Eyes tickets of joy. As part of my birthday weekend I shall be seeing Conor finally in the flesh, going to the London Aquarium and then a Comic book Convention. Perfect weekend.

10:05pm Law and Order 11:05pm Frantic 1:15am Quiz Call 5:35am Wildlife SOS

7:00pm BBC3 Outtakes 2006 7:05pm Top Gear 8:05pm The Real Hustle Special 9:05pm Crimson Tide 10:55pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:25pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:55pm Thieves Like Us 12:25am Comedy Shuffle 12:55am Kaiser Chiefs Live at Doncaster 1:40am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:10am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:40am The Real Hustle Special 3:35am Comedy Special: Living with Two People you Like Individually... But Not as a Couple I hate Valentines day. If I cared about facebook my relationship status would have just gone from “its complicated” to “single.” I think also they should broaden the amount of selections you can make, what about “too busy and self sufficient to actually need a smelly man in my life anyway.” Or “my male friends have put me off men for life with their constant farting.”

7:00pm Wagner's Ring: The Rhinegold 9:40pm Nobody Knows 12:00am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 12:30am Marcus Brigstocke's Trophy People 1:00am Marcus Brigstocke's Trophy People 1:30am Marcus Brigstocke's Trophy People I like this man, he is rather funny, good with the old gentle satire and has a odd shaped head. Like a potato. What more could you want from life? In the show Mr Marcus interviews people about the first trophies they ever won as children and how their life has been nothing but a downhill slide into depression, despair and debt ever since! Then he brings in a clown to do a funny dance!

2:00am Marcus Brigstocke's Trophy People That was all a massive lie. I cant find the TV mag so I actually can’t tell you what it is about. 2:30am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 3:00am Soul Britannia at the Barbican

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald's Farm 8:25am Mags and Mo 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:50am The Wheels on the Bus 9:00am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:10pm Coronation Street Omnibus 2:35pm Nanny 911 3:20pm The BRIT Awards 2007 I do love Russell Brand in many ways and would like to do very naughty things to him involving nakedness. Possibly some sex as well. 5:20pm The Grammy Awards 2007 Who cares it’s not The BRITs 7:20pm Dancing on Ice: Defrosted 8:20pm Harry Hill's TV Burp 8:50pm Dancing on Ice: Defrosted Results 9:20pm The Mummy Returns 11:50pm Dancing on Ice 1:05am Dancing on Ice - The Skate Off 1:35am Dancing on Ice: Defrosted Results 2:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 3:40am Emmerdale

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music's A List 9:00am Our Showbiz Mates 10:00am Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 11:00am Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 12:00pm Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 1:00pm Westlife's Ultimate Love Songs 2:00pm The Album Chart Show: The Brits Special 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The Simple Life: Interns 6:25pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 6:55pm Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm The 100 Greatest Tearjerkers 1:10am X-Rated: The Sex Films They Tried to Ban 2:40am Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 3:05am Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 4:05am The Simple Life: Interns 4:25am Switched 4:45am Switched 5:10am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Goalissimo! God I’m hungover, I might fall asleep on the computer.

Everyone around me is doing proper Journalism, and i’m sitting here slowly melting. I think only sushi can save me now. Who watches S4C anyway? Once you move out of halls of scum you get to buy a digital box and get normal television back. 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Homemade 9:20am Friends 9:50am Friends 10:15am 4Music Presents... the Killers 10:45am Friends 11:10am Friends 11:40am Shipwrecked 2007 12:10pm The OC 1:05pm Beauty and the Geek 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Wincanton and Uttoxeter 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Newyddion 5:10pm Y Clwb Rygbi 7:25pm Y Clwb PelDroed 8:00pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 8:15pm Codi Canu 9:00pm Tywysogion 10:00pm CNEX 12:35am 8mm 2:50am Download Festival 2006 3:45am KOTV

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

34 gairrhydd

SUNDAY

FEBRUARY.12.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Gladiator Channel 4 9.00pm

BBC Weather

Ideal

American Idol

BBC1 10.00pm

BBC2 11.45pm

ITV1 1.40pm

6:00am Breakfast 7:50am Match of the Day 9:00am Sunday AM 10:00am Heaven and Earth with Gloria Hunniford 11:00am Countryfile 12:00pm The Politics Show 1:00pm Match of the Day Live 3:15pm EastEnders 5:15pm Lifeline 5:25pm Wildlife on One 5:40pm Songs of Praise 6:15pm When Love Comes to Town 6:45pm Antiques Roadshow 7:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 8:00pm Rough Diamond 9:00pm Waking the Dead 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather Weather? SNOW! I heard a rumour the other day about some snow. Yesterday I heard that it might snow so I checked the BBC site and it was negative. Fuck that. I woke up this morning at approximately 9.45 to see the world covered in a white sheet of pure goodness. After some tea and toast me and Alex got in his car and drove to Merthyr in order to fully appreciate the snowy fun. The snow there was well better than the snow in Cardiff. It was about a foot deep in most places. We made sledges out of bin bags and door mats and they worked a treat. Success.

10:20pm Jack Dee Live in London 11:20pm The River Wild 1:10am Sign Zone:Holby City 2:10am Sign Zone:Can Gerry Robinson Fix the NHS? 3:10am Sign Zone:Wanted Down Under 3:55am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Balamory 6:20am Tweenies 6:40am Big Cook Little Cook 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am The Batman 7:30am Smile 10:00am Something for the Weekend 11:30am Planet Food 12:00pm Tuesdays with Morrie 1:20pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 5:20pm Scrum V 6:00pm The Search for Ireland's Giant Turtles 6:30pm Meerkat Manor 6:55pm Meerkat Manor 7:20pm Snooker: Welsh Open 2007 10:45pm Top Gear Alex has been downloading a lot of Top Gear recently and I’ve been watching some of it with him. There are some good moments. I like the bit where they race a plane in a Bugatti. That’s cool. And when celebrities drive around the test track. I like watching that. Jimmy Carr got a fast time cos he’s a nob. When we were driving in the snow today, Alex pretended to be Clarkson and took the corners faster than normal. He also tried to drive up some snowy slopes and he just made a lot of noise and smoke.

We got a bit stuck so I had to push but I was too weak to make a real effort.

Basically, Top Gear has taken up a few hours of my life this week. I’ve probably spent more time watching Top Gear than I have doing any work. TV > Work.

Fact Like you didn’t know that already.

Incidentally, I’m not a TV Ed. because I know anything about TV. 11:45pm Ideal 12:15am Block Party 1:55am Family Guy 2:20am Family Guy 2:45am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:25am House of Mouse 7:50am Totally Spies! 8:15am Yin Yang Yo! 8:30am Oban Star Racers 9:10am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am CITV:Horrid Henry 9:35am CITV:Feodor 9:45am CITV:Curious George 9:55am CITV:Pocoyo 10:05am CITV:Jim Jam and Sunny 10:20am CITV:Jim Jam and Sunny 10:30am Soccer Sunday 11:30am The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 12:30pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:35pm The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 1:40pm American Idol 2:40pm Dancing on Ice 3:55pm Dancing on Ice - The Skate Off 4:25pm Primeval 5:25pm 12 Books That Changed the World Even thought I’m meant to be studying English Lit, I could not suggest 12 books which have had an impact on the world. Even if I could I wouldn’t bother talking about them. I’ve had enough of reading. There’s a few novels I need to read this term. Ah well.

6:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:40pm ITV News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wild at Heart 9:00pm Lewis 11:00pm ITV News; Weather 11:10pm The South Bank Show 12:10am The Moral of the Story 12:35am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am Grabbit the Rabbit 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Trans World Sport 7:55am Bauhaus World Bobsleigh Championships 2007 8:55am T4:Popworld 9:40am T4:Goal 2: T4 Movie Special 10:15am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:45pm T4:Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 1:20pm T4:Friends 1:55pm T4:Beauty and the Geek 2:55pm T4:The OC 3:55pm T4:Ugly Betty 4:55pm Deal or No Deal 5:45pm Time Team 6:40pm Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 7:45pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm Feral Children I watched this in summer and it was pretty sad. Very interesting. Yeah. I watched ‘Aged 12 and looking after tha family’ or whatever it was called, and it was probably one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen on TV. 9:00pm Gladiator This is so not as good as the tv show with Wolf and co.

That was coooool. They should probably bring that back for old times sake.

Quirky student alert.

11:45pm Live from Abbey Road 12:55am 4Music Presents... Magic Numbers 1:20am 4 Music:The Album Chart Show 1:50am Our Survey Said: The Ultimate Game Show Moments 3:20am Monsters 3:30am Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 5:25am Countdown 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12 ,11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Sailor Sid 6:40am Bird Bath 6:50am Franklin 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:15am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:30am What Makes Me Happy 9:45am Demolition Dad 10:00am Round the Twist 10:30am Hospital 11:00am Snobs 11:35am RAD: The Groms Tour the Baltics 12:05pm Rooted 12:35pm Revelations 1:10pm five news update 1:15pm Divine Designs 1:45pm Chief Crazy Horse 3:25pm All the Young Men 5:00pm five news and sport 5:05pm Batman of the Future: Return of the Joker 6:35pm Batman Returns 9:00pm Miss Congeniality 11:10pm Disorderly Conduct 12:10am Making of The World's Strongest Man 1:00am World's Strongest Man - The Final 1:50am Adventure Triathlon 2:15am UEFA Cup Football: Bayer Leverkusen v Blackburn Rovers 3:40am UEFA Cup Football: Besiktas v Tottenham Hotspur 5:10am Ironman South Korea I passed out on the fourteenth floor, the CPR was so erotic. A blizzard blew in through the door and little glowing cum buckets in her ankles...

7:00pm Freaky Eaters 8:00pm New Wedding Stories 9:00pm Fat Men Can't Hunt 10:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:00pm New Wedding Stories 12:00am Fat Men Can't Hunt 12:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:55am Torchwood 2:45am New Wedding Stories ... O Dallas you shine with an evil light, and why am I drawn to you tonight? Once you taste the geometry of a church in a cul-de-sac, you're gonna want to sit with the bad kids in the back. Cruising down Commerce, killing time in the blazing sun. Is it true your analyst was a placekicker for the Falcons? We saw B.B.King on General Hospital in the Oak Cliff dramhouse where we stayed, and when Clancy whipped her with his belt buckle he cleaned her cuts and then we prayed...

7:00pm The Way We Went Wild 8:00pm Peter Scott: A Passion for Nature 9:00pm Travels with a Tangerine 10:00pm The Great British Holiday 11:00pm Peter Scott: A Passion for Nature 12:00am Travels with a Tangerine 1:00am Cooking in the Danger Zone 1:30am Cooking in the Danger Zone 2:00am Peter Scott: A Passion for Nature 3:00am Travels with a Tangerine ... Don't you know that God stays up all night? And how did you turn a billion steers into buildings made of mirrors, and why am I drawn to you tonight? Watching the makeup girls make out with the mannequins. "Hey boys, supper's on me, our record just went aluminum". Poor as a mouse every morning, rich as a cat every night. Some kind of strange magic happens when the city turns on her lights. O Dallas you shine with an evil light. O Dallas you shine with an evil light...

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 6:25am Fun Song Factory 6:35am Mopatop's Shop 6:45am Engie Benjy 6:55am Pocoyo 7:15am Fun Song Factory 7:25am House of Mouse 7:50am Totally Spies!

8:15am Yin Yang Yo 8:30am Oban Star Racers 9:10am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am Planet's Funniest Animals 9:50am The New Adventures of Superman 10:50am Harry Hill's TV Burp 11:20am Emmerdale Omnibus 2:05pm The Mummy Returns 4:35pm Coronation Street Omnibus 7:00pm American Idol 8:00pm American Idol 9:00pm Supernatural 10:00pm Kelly Osbourne: Turning Japanese 11:00pm Entourage 11:35pm The Office: An American Workplace 12:05am Coronation Street 12:35am Kelly Osbourne: Turning Japanese 1:35am ITV Play: The Mint 4:00am Teleshopping

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music's A List 9:00am Our Showbiz Mates 10:00am Deserted Island Discs 11:00am Deserted Island Discs 12:00pm Deserted Island Discs 1:00pm Deserted Island Discs 2:05pm Popworld 2:55pm Playing it Straight 4:00pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm Homemade 5:30pm Homemade 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm Ugly Betty 9:00pm ER 10:00pm Desperate Housewives 11:00pm Skins 12:00am My Name Is Earl 12:30am Homemade 1:05am Homemade 1:35am Skins 2:35am Playing it Straight 3:35am Popworld 4:20am My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss 5:00am Switched 5:25am Switched ... Don't you know that God stays up all night? And how did you turn a billion steers into buildings made of mirrors,and why am I drawn to you tonight? O Dallas you shine with an evil...

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Trans World Sport 7:55am Bauhaus World Bobsleigh Championships 2007 8:55am Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:30am Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 12:30pm Yr Wythnos 1:00pm Maniffesto 1:30pm Rownd a Rownd 2:00pm Rownd a Rownd 2:30pm Supporting Acts 2:45pm A Place in the Sun 3:45pm A Place in the Sun 4:45pm Y Ty Cymreig 5:15pm Newyddion 5:20pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 7:15pm Codi Canu 8:00pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 8:30pm Twrio 9:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:00pm Newyddion 10:15pm The Gift 12:20am The Long Kiss Goodnight 2:25am It's All about Love 4:10am The Insider: Kidneys For Sale ... light. Don't you know that God stays up all night? And how did you turn a billion steers into buildings made of mirrors,and why am I drawn to you tonight?

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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gairrhydd

35

PROBLEM PAGE

FEBRUARY.12.2006 PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

The de Ville’s Advocate This Week: You’ve got to search for the hero inside yourself

Social Networking for the Socially Inept...

Single? Pathetic? Alone? Without a mate?

Friendless? Sociopathic? Souless? With the kind help of my good friends Tom and Rupert from MySpace, I’ve surfed the net to present the crème de la crème of internet hotties. This week: it’s time to find yourself a Valentine. Look no further...

Screename: Marvin Age: 19 Location: Liverpool Headline: "The UNION JACK IS BLACK” Likes: UK underground scene, smoking weed, being a playa.

Pros: Youthful.

Probably knows all the cool lingo.

Cons: Homophobic and generally retarded. Describes books as “shit”.

Help! I need somebody Dear Grace,

Hello Lonesome,

The lads in my halls call me all sorts of names, most hurtfully “Eunuch”. I’m an attractive nineteen-year old male with a high intellect and piercing blue eyes but I’ve been “on the shelf” for a long time. All the boys in my flat have a tally chart where they rate the attractiveness of each bird they pull and which bases they conquered. My column is conspicuously empty. I’ve not even had as much as a wink from a lady since I was a fresher in September. No one will touch me- not even with a bargepole.

Actually, I’d quite like to be touched by a bargepole. Can you arrange it?

Firstly I must commend you for your balls. Take no notice of your frat-boy friends and their childish insults. They’re probably riddled with crabs, and Tertiary Syphilis has addled their (already inferior) brains. These boys are full of shit. I mean, LITERALLY so full of shit that if you strung them to the ceiling and bashed them with sticks then there’s no doubt that effluent would spurt out like some kind of perverse poo piñata. A (small-scale) survey of my fellow female journalists would suggest that womankind generally favours the underdog, despite what you may have witnessed outside the union on a Wednesday night.

I’ve been informed under good authority that women are most attracted by (in no particular

A lonesome man.

order): cock, large thighs, good shoes, humour, backs (I’m quite sure you can manage this), beards, money, a well-shaped nose and the ability to engage in a half-decent conversation. If you possess any of the above qualities then you’re well on your way to getting some action. I personally think that all men should be able to talk to animals, make a (good) cup of tea, knit jumpers and recite all the lyrics to the seminal Lemonheads’ album It’s a Shame About Ray. Perhaps this is why I shall be spending Valentine’s day adding to the already impressive cat montage in my kitchen.

In response to your enquiry, I know quite a few bargepoles.

Unfortunately they’re all married or devoting their lives to God.

Grace xxxxxxxxxxx

Dumped and dangerous

Screename: Colin Age: 21 Location: Bury Headline: "The city noise made us strange” Likes: Biting sex, scratching sex, blood sex, dominating sex, bondage sex. Sex. Pros: His “swinging man boobs” and “dangly cock” Cons: None

Dear Grace,

Screename: John Age: 20 Location: Kidderminster Headline: “Well hi people” Likes: “Building my body, Thatʼ’s so Raven” Pros: Toned Cons: Has a child’s head on Van Damme’s body.

Steroid abuse may render him violent and impotent.

This year I went all out for Valentine’s Day as my boyfriend and I have been together for exactly 14 months. I spent loads of money and time on booking us a weekend away and planning us a magical weekend in the Cotswolds.

Earlier this week I spent £60 on a new hairstyle and highlights. I threw out all my Primark underwear and bought myself some sexy matching sets from La Senza. I even got a “Hollywood” wax.

Well. One week before our special holiday he’s finished with me. What a wanker. He say’s it’s because he wants to explore new horizons and “find his true self”. To be honest I’m over him already, but I’m just

angry that he’s chosen to end it after I’ve just shelled out the remainder of my loan on a dirty weekend. I’ve never been dumped before and I’m not familiar with the etiquette. Is it fair to demand to be reimbursed with half of the money spent? I’ve already called English Country Cottages and was told that they don’t do refunds. Are there grounds for legal action if he refuses to comply with my demands?

Anne, Street

Miskin

Dear Anne, I think the important thing to remember is that although a bikini wax isn’t for life, it does

last four to six weeks depending on how much you exfoliate.

I doubt you’ll get any of your money back, but you could recoup your losses by soliciting yourself or participating in an adult movie. A lot can happen in a month. Your de-feathered nether regions and swanky underwear should be put to good use, preferably on his dad. I’m quite sure that his desire to “explore new horizons” doesn’t include finding out that his dad is better at cunnilingus.

Grace xxx. xxx. x

I thought I’d answer a few love-related problems this week as I’m going to be far too busy recycling my cards to respond to your cries for help. In the event of a romantic emergency: visit www.catsinsinks.com. Lots of love from Grace. Peace.

gairrhydd

FIVEMINUTEFUNS@gairrhydd.COM

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ACROSS 1 Part of the leg (5) 3 Bill Clinton’s wife (7) 6 Acrobat (7) 8 Ordered pile (5) 10 Money (slang) (5) 11 Detrimental (7) 14 Help out of trouble (6) 15 Expenditure (6) 17 Members of the Unification Church (7) 20 Capital of Bangladesh (5) 21 Female relation (5) 22 Reading desk (7) 23 Small cube of toasted bread (7) 24 Author, - - - Dahl (5)

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Ashamed of your rusting coin collection ? In need of a shiner to pay for your burgeoning crack habit?

If you boil a condom then it becomes so stretchy that you can fit it over a phone box, or even a really fat person.

When penguins are menstruating they have been known to start whistling the Match of the Day theme tune while pooing themselves.

Sloths move so slowly that a layer of green algae grows on their fur (If you think your date is into sloths then you can brush up your knowledge at www.slothsonline.co.uk)

Simply place the rusting rascals in a bowl of vinegar over -night and hold your head up high when you hand over that shiny cash for those porn mags.

Cling film everything in the house so that when you spill ketchup/bodily fluids/vole faeces ( and yes, we do have an unhealthy love of voles ,it will wipe clean. Alternatively, just leave it to crust over and remove at end of the year to reveal a spotless house. Tip: It is all about shimmying with your shovel. Word of the day: Shimmy. Shimmey.

Shimmy.

Thinking of sprucing up that patch of concrete out back? Joan Bagwell, 68, from Yorkshire (you may know her as the Slimfast Slimmer of the year 1967) says “why don’t you place hard boiled eggs around the border of your flower bed. Not only does it look good, but it attracts the rare green tailed badger in spring”.

If you have problems with your bladder control after a night in le Factoire de Fenou then purchase a bag of cat litter from Pets’ r ’Us and sprinkle a generous layer between your sheets. P.S. Make sure your lover is a cat person.

the hall of shame 6 6 6 7 6 7 6 7 8 7 0 R E B M NEW TEXT NU

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Around the House

If you break a stem in your carefully arranged dead dandelion bouquet then DON’T PANIC! Take a green straw, trim to size and insert the offending article into each end, taking care not to cause further breakage. Voila!

CROSSWORD 2

Stuck for conversation with your valentine? Slip these lil gems into the conversation over the Pinot grigio and cheese sticks…

We all know that student houses are about as clean as a big pile of tortoise excrement. Most of you probably use a shovel to clean your floor rather than the more traditional hoover and no, the vole farm in your kitchen is not going to be an acceptable pastime to Gringott, your Cambodian Landlord.

Here are a few tips on how to keep things in order around the place …

HOW TO PLAY SUDOKU: Close your eyes. Count to ten. Now open them and hope the magic rats have done it for you because you’ll never succeed. HA HA HA!

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Verbal Rohypnol

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include: snozzcumbers and artichokes).

Tea-bags make excellent compost, although it should only be used with plants that like acidic soil. (These

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FIVE MINUTE FUN

FEBRUARY.12.2007

Do stuff, store it, text us a photo

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DOWN 1 Scandalmonger (7) 2 Evergreen shrub (5) 3 Severe (5) 4 Narrow intense light beam (5) 5 Country bumpkin (5) 7 Burden, drawback (9) 9 Connect, attach (9) 12 Admit openly (4) 13 In this Place (4) 16 Longed for (7) 17 Frenzied (5) 18 Inactive (5) 19 Beauty parlour (5) 20 Style of furnishings (5)

moobies tash

New year, new talents? My arse. You still draw like a 3 week old vole. Art Attack’s legendary swordsman shows us his versions of some wellknown classics.

Exhibit no. 67 - Van Gogh Sunflowers

gairrhydd 39

GRAB

FEBRUARY.12.2007 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

Valentine’s special

Ask Doctor P.

Dear Dr P. I just can’t Dear Dr P. I’ve been find the courage to as Dear Dr P. My boyfrien seeing my girlfriend d for a date – so I’ll be k for an d I have had so many six months now and I lonely again this wo nd erf ul yea love her a lot. Things rs but Valentine’s Day. I’m recently things are in are going great but sh my final year, have lot e be co ming stale. He’s says she isn’t ready of friends and make s always ignoring me an us to become more for d good grades. I can ha going ‘out with the physical. I respect he dle the big presenta nr lad s’, an d I know him boundaries but I’m tions but I can’t deal and his friends spend starting to get a litt with the pressure of le all their time ch impatient, especially asking out the girl I as up sleazy wome atting I know she’s had physi n. I rea fancy. How can I overly love him and want lor a bit of an alternative love story this cal relationships in theus come my fear of hearto ge t back to the way Valentines, check out the latest helping from past. I want to make ing the word “No”? we were, what should the guys behind legendary culture film Old Valentine’s Day spec I do?

School, School for Scoundrels, released 23rd so she feels comfort ial Steve, 21 February. able and we can tak -Kimberly, 20 School for Scoundrels sees the return of Napoleon our relationship ontoe Hell son you shouldn’t be Dynamite star Jon Heder, who slips his geek-shoes on the ne xt level, what do afraid of the word “No”, It makes me sick when once more and becomes Roger - a socially awkward you suggest? you must have said it guys don’t realise when young guy plagued by low self-esteem. Roger who enough times! “Hey they have it good. I see enrols in a confidence building class to enable him to -Jeff, 19 Steve, you got a date thi neglect like this a lot at s ask out the girl of his dreams. The class guarantees weekend?” “Steve, you my hospital and it always results, no matter how dangerous and unorthodox the Are you kidding me? get laid last night?” – NO breaks my heart a little. methods are! His teacher, Dr. P. has a worryingly simiYou know I can’t even ! What relationship? You You deserve better, a car lar agenda and a battle between the geek and the teacher haven’t managed to get call you a loser, becaus ing, sensitive guy who e a ensues, as Dr. P. threatens to make Roger’s life hell. any off this chick in six loser is someone who trie understands you. We To celebrate the release of the movie, we have a and fails, you’re less tha s months and you think should discuss this pro n DVD gift set to give away – including Old School, Valentine’s is going to that; you don’t even try lem further Kimberly. bAnchorman and Napoleon Dynamite. We also have two any different? It’s a spebe Get yourself into my !

You could come seem massive quad posters for runners up. cial day son, not a mirac school now before you during my office hoursme day! Did you ever wondele end up Steve, 40, collec I’m afraid I’m volunteerbut To be in with a chance of winning a School for why she’s got frisky in r ing comic book charac tthe ing at an orphanage this Scoundrels DVD box set just send us an e-mail to past and not with you? and listening to Lionel ters week. Perhaps we could the address at the top of the page.

It’s ‘cause her last Richie on your own for meet up for dinner instea boyfriends were lions, the 900th time. If you and spend some time rea d rather than whiney little lspare five minutes fromcan ly focusing on you. pussies. A lion doesn’t downloading porn on you ask computer go take a loo r for what he wants, he k at takes it! My adv my prospectus – ice is either start learning how www.schoolto run sh*t or spend the forscoundrels.movie.co.u k rest of your life eating it! bestselling book, which has helped lished in 45 languages and selling over 6 million people worldwide over seven million copies. stop smoking) will be available to The programme is so successful buy in UK shops from 18 th as it tackles the mental barriers and December. fears that make it difficult for peoAllen Carr’s 60-minute guide ple to stop. The process is complete night out to the cinema is when the young and beautiful Sheba will help you to quit without the and effective, enabling any smoker always the perfect date, parHart comes to work at her school. But use of patches, drugs to quit immediately, ticularly on Valentines Day friendship soon turns into unhealthy or hypnotherapy. permanently,Page 3 and many even when all the restaurants in town obsession, and when Barbara discovInstead Carr enjoy the process. are booked up! So the guys at ers that Sheba is having an affair with employs unique For more information contact Vue cinema Cardiff are giving you one of her young pupils, their relaways of utilis- Revolver Entertainment on 0207 the chance to win a pair of ticktionship takes a dark turn and Sheba ing individ243 4300 or email press@revolverets to see any film of your choice. faces the prospect of not only losing ual free will, group.com Here are just some of the films her job, but also her family. rationalising Website: www.allencarrdvd.com that are on at Vue at the your desire RRP: 15.99 If you fancy winning a pair of Vue moment... to smoke cinema tickets for the perfect Music and Lyrics - Alex Fletcher is We have three DVDs to give and stripping Valentines date just e-mail us at a washed-up ‘80s pop star who makes away (RRP: £15.99) all you away the reathe usual address with the answer a living from the none-too-dignified have to do is answer sons you smoke. to this stupidly easy question... nostalgia circuit, playing to audiences the following question: Carr’s book, of baying middle-aged women at Allen Carr’s Easy Which bootyliscious popster is county fairs and amusement parks.

Way to Stop Smoking How much money do students the star of Dreamgirls?

When young singing star Cora spend on cigarettes per term? is an international bestseller, pubCorman invites him to write and a. Beyonce record a duet with her, Fletcher jumps b. Christina Aguilera at the chance, before realising that having never written a lyric in his life, c. Nelly Furtado things might not go according to plan.

Dreamgirls - Set during the late 1960s and early 1970s, ‘Dreamgirls’ charts the rise of girl group The The beautiful people are a mix of To be in with a chance of winDreamettes. Discovered by ambitious ning this great prize, tune in on twenty and thirtysomthing entrepremanager Curtis Taylor Jr, they start Wednesday or Friday evening neurs, journalists and property out as backing singers to the hugely and answer this simple quesdevelopers. Keen to establish their popular James ‘Thunder’ Early but are tion: credentials as the city’s in-crowd soon outshining Thunder and finding they work together, live together success in their own right. As they hit Which North Walian actress and of course, love together. the big time, Curtis starts to take conplays unlucky in love, Lea? With Wales’ capital providing a trol of the girls’ lives, and soon the stunning backdrop, and an eclectic beautiful Deena is getting more attenSend your answer to the usual soundtrack courtesy of music guru tion than her fellow bandmates and e-mail address.

Gareth Potter, Caerdydd opens the the cracks start to show. lid on the lives, loves and Notes on a Scandal The pressures of high-powered city heartaches of a new breed of bilinBarbara Covett is a living can catch up with everyone – gual Cardiffians. lonely spinster whose even if you’re young, beautiful and life briefly brightens rich.

Love school F

Nobody wants to kiss an ashtray

T

he average student smoker spends a staggering £600 a term on cigarettes. Look after your health and your wallet with this 90% success rate programme.

Next year the government will impose a total ban on smoking in indoor public spaces across the UK, including student bars and unions. Let Allen Carr’s revolutionary DVD help you stub out your addiction now!

Everyone knows smoking is an expensive, dangerous and increasingly antisocial habit. As well as risking cancer it causes wrinkles, stained fingers, bad breath and even impotence.

Not everyone knows how easy it is to give up! Allen Carr’s DVD (based on his

A night at the movies A

Romance in Caerdydd G air Rhydd has teamed up with S4/C to offer one lucky reader a chance to win an MP3 player courtesy of Caerdydd, the channel’s pacy drama series, which can be seen every Wednesday at 9.00pm and repeated each Friday evening with on-screen English subtitles.

Set in the Welsh capital, Caerdydd’s glamorous inhabitants struggle to make their mark and maintain their equilibrium in a competitive, ambitious world.

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40 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

FEBRUARY.12.2007 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This Week: The Modtastic Quadrophenia, swing king Sinatra in The Rat Pack Live From Rat Pack: Live From Las Vegas @ New Theatre Mon - Sat 12 - 17 Feb

7.30pm / £7-29.50 Listings Editor Rosaria Sgueglia recommends

H

ave you got any plans for Valentine’s day? If not, then why don’t you spend it with Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis and Dean Martin?

The New Theatre is offering you a chance to do this with a return of last year’s sell out show Rat Pack: Live From Las Vegas.

The singers were part of the Rat Pack, a group of popular performers who appeared together in films and on stage in the early 1960s. The orig-

Festival of Diversity

@ National Museum Cardiff Sat 17 Feb

6pm / £11/ £13 Su-Ann Lim recommends

J Quadrophenia @ Sherman Theatre Mon - Sat Feb 12 - 17

7.30pm / £10 Listings Editor Jenna Harris recommends

B

righton. Land of seaside rock, teenagers drunk on the beach at 9pm, new age hippy types and, perhaps most importantly, the site of infamous clashes between rival gangs of ‘mods’ and ‘rockers’ way back in the Sixties.

The weekend mods, who would

drive down to Brighton on the weekend on their Lambrettas, were the inspiration for both The Who’s 1973 album Quadrophenia and the acclaimed 1979 film of the same name. This production featured a gaggle of well known actors and actresses, including Sexy Beast Ray Winstone, Lesley Ash, acting colossus Sting, and finally, Jimmy Nail as the protagonist Jimmy.

Directly inspiring the film was the rock opera Quadrophenia composed

by Pete Townsend, who also helped in the writing the film and, along with his band mates, served as an executive producer.

This theatre production, performed by thesps in training at the RWCMD, is the first independent production to be approved by Townsend. The story focuses on the tale of Jimmy, a young man in a dead-end job in 1964 London, who directs all his energy into his life of teenage hedonism. This inevitably involves teenage cliches

Coming Up Preachers Manic Street

like drugs, parties and going down to Brighton with his friends Spider, Dave and Chalky.

Jimmy, firmly ensconced in mod gang culture, sports the requisite parka, drainpipe jeans and sharp haircut, but the lifestyle is his only escape from the real world.

Quadrophenia shows him coming of age in the most dramatic manner, as the conflict of idealism and reality threatens the safety of his teenage outlook on life.

The coming of age drama interweaves themes of youth and establishing an identity, while forcing its lead character to finally confront the world, for better or worse.

Quadrophenia was a landmark film that was responsible for the mod revival of the late Seventies and early Eighties. Its use of classic music, comedy and drama has made it a must see, both on film and on stage, so go and get tickets while it’s on in Cardiff.

immy Choo, orang utans, and the world’s tallest twin towers: what do they have in common? The answer is in their origins. All are from Malaysia, situated in the Southeast Asia region by its more widely known neighbours Thailand and Singapore. Small as it might be, Malaysia redefines and challenges the term ‘melting pot’. Its assimilation of cultures and traditions among people of myriad religions and ethnicities stands unrivalled, and we are holding an event to celebrate it.

It is a country epitomising multiculturalism, and we want you to experience Malaysia through a one night celebration of vibrant art and exquisite food. This grand, tasteful sampling of our country is brought to

inal members were Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop. Female actresses such as Shirley McLaine, Lauren Bacall and Judy Garland were also inolved.

The nickname ‘rat pack’ originates from a group of friends in Hollywood connected through Humphrey Bogart, and is said to have been coined by Dean Martin’s mother.

Worried about the tiredness of members of the group (who seemed exhausted following a night in Las Vegas), she told them, "You look like a goddamn rat pack."

The show promises to bring you an amazing spectacle of the glamour of an amazing era, incorprating the music and dancing of the time while recalling the glittery past.

The production will feature a talented cast and a 15 piece orchestra, which will bring the magical songs of Farnak Sinatra et all back to life with a bang.

So, what exactly are you waiting for? Change any plans that you may have and ensure that you go to the New Theatre this week too. I hope to see you there. you by the Malaysian Students’ Society of Cardiff University as part of our annual Festival of Diversity.

We hold our word that we will deliver an eye-opening event that will leave you enriched and hungry with wanderlust for the summer, pun intended. Come for the food or come for the performances, just don’t miss out. Lined up for the evening is a play entitled Sawah, set across the current social backdrop which highlights the intricacies and complexities faced by Malaysian youths in their lives. It is guaranteed to relate to anyone, regardless of nationality or ethnicity. If that doesn’t float your boat then the vibrant dance performances will.

The Festival of Diversity has won the Cardiff University Students’ Union Best Society’s Event of the Year for the last two years, so rest assured that it will be a great event.

To start the night will be a Malaysian cuisine buffet hi-tea at the Temple of Peace from 6pm - 7.30 pm before the show starts, so make sure you come for the fantastic food that will be on offer!

The main event starts at 8pm in the Reardon Smith Theatre at the National Museum of Wales. Tickets cost a bargain £11 for members or £13 for non-society members, which include all food and entertainment, so get hold of them fast before they sell out.

Email fod4tickets@yahoo.co.uk or visit www.msscf.org/fod for more information.

So, what are you waiting for?

Spice up your Welsh winter and encounter something different without having to travel halfway around the world. We dare you to open your minds.

Letz Zep - 23 Feb @ The Point... The Last Pirate - 28 Feb @ Sherman Theatre... Enter Shikari - 1 March @ SU... Towers of London - 2 March @ Barfly... Limehouse Lizzy - 2 March @ The Point...Journey -9 March @ CIA...Thea Gilmore - 15 March @ The Point... Faultline & Exit No Exit - 20 March @ Sherman Theatre... Moll Flanders - 22 March @ The Sherman Theatre... My Chemical Romance - 25 March @ CIA...Kelly Jones -25 March @ Coal Exchange...The Horrors -30 March @ Barfly...Dopamine -12April @ Barfly...Manic Street Preachers -11/12 May @ SU...

gairrhydd 41

LISTINGS

FEBRUARY.12.2007 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

Las Vegas, and the Festival of Diversity.

Monday

12/02

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative night, featuring bands, a heavy rock room and a generally sweaty, rocked-out atmosphere. Also features DJing by Oddsoc and bands put on by LMS in the live music room. 10pm-2am. Free entry with NUS. £3 otherwise.

Vodka Island @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ superclub, complete with booths, and a trendy interior, hosts a night of drinks promotions (drinks start from £1.95) and the tunes you want to hear. 9.30pm - 2am. £4.

Gabrielle @ Chapter Arts Centre This showing of the French film Gabrielle explores the disintegration of a seemingly happy middle class marriage. The counple in question, Gabrielle and Jean, are a wealthy duo who have been married for ten years, but Jean finds out the truth about his wife, learning of an affair, and the marriage then starts to dissolve. 8.30pm. £5.10.

Pick Of The Day Os Sambistas: The Samba Story Tour 2007 @ Chapter Arts Centre An evening of Brazilian music that explores the history of Samba from the oldest indigenous music to modern samba, with the group Os Sambistas. 8pm. £10/£8/£6.

Tuesday 13/02

Wednesday 14/02

Thursday 15/02

DARTZ! / The New 1920 @ Barfly Dartz! are a trio from Teeside who mix Franz Ferdinand-esque beats with a cool retro facade. They've been steadily gaining a reputation as a good live band so must be worth a look. Also playing are This Is Seb Clarke, a five-piece band that manages to incorporate a brass section, piano and hammond organ into the ‘regular’ band lineup of guitars, drums and bass. They use it to good effect, producing energetic rhymn and soul music.

7.30pm. £5.

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Clubbing for jocks and pretend jocks, with a different fancy dress theme most weeks.

Surprisingly, it is a huge sell out, mostly from those of a sporting persuasion. 10pm. £3.

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. On one, classic funk and motown, on another indie classics and brand new music, and on the final floor, cheese. 9.30pm. £3.

The Hussys @ Barfly The Hussys are Glasgow-based musicians who make melodic and sugary indie-pop.

They came about after ex-Supernaturals frontman James McColl searched out indie venues and open mic nights in order to find people to form a band with. He soon ended up with the present lineup of Fili on vocals, James on guitar, Steph on bass, Gordy on drums, Ronnie on guitar and Greg on keyboards.7.30pm. £5.

Now You're Talking: Michael Kelligan @ Chapter Arts Centre Michael Kelligan is holding a season of rehearsed readings of plays written by celebrated contemporary Welsh authors, and all of which are featured in Hazel Walford Davies' book Now You're Talking - Drama in Conversation. If you want to experience a bit of Welsh literature then this sounds like a good point to start from. Today features the second play in Osborne’s Merthyr Trilogy.

8pm. £3.

The Bait Shop @ Barfly For fans of alternative music, the Barfly has handily provided this club night, named after the same establishment frequented on The O.C. It will minister to all your musical needs, from The Shins to Basment Jaxx.

10.30pm. £3/2 NUS. Lo-Fi-Fnk @ Barfly Sweden’s musical contributions to the world have consisted of more than Abba and one half of Razorlight, and Lo-Fi-Fnk are proof of this. The indie-poppers, who share a label with Bloc Party, have been compared favourably to Daft Punk. 7.30pm. £6.

The Sodamen - Album Launch / John Lewis Rock ‘n’ Roll Trio / Cedwyn Aled @ Clwb Ifor Bach Cardiff’s The Sodamen are here to launch their second album Musicassette. Following the success of their 2004 debut Moon, they have continued with their trademark mixing of musical styles. Support comes from the Johnny Lewis Rock ‘n’ Roll Trio, a contemporary rock ‘n’ roll act who do just what they say on the tin. 8pm. £4.

Ghosts @ Chapter Arts Centre Three years ago, 21 Chinese workers died while cockle-picking in Morecambe Bay. Now, celebrated documentary maker Nick Broomfield has fictionalised the circumstances leading to the tragic deaths, in a production that took him to China to cast nonactors, who could easily have been there themselves, in the film. 6.30pm. £5.10.

Pick Of The Day Laughing Matters - We Are Klang @ St David’s Hall We Are Klang are a comedy trio consisting of Greg Davies, Marek Larwood and Steve Hall. They were a big hit at last year’s Edinburgh Festival, winning the 'Spirit of the Fringe' Award. We Are Klang make silly comic fun that has also been rated by The Independent, who wrote that their work contained moments of “delicious touches all through the show... rude, anarchic and hilarious.” 8pm. £9.

The Rat Pack Live From Las Vegas @ New Theatre Swing night previewed opposite. 7.30pm. £29.50 - £7.

The Jazz Attic @ Cafe Jazz For fans of jazz, Cafe Jazz has long been a place where you can go and, in great surroundings, check out the best jazz performances that Cardiff has to offer. This weekly evening session has been home to both jazz musicians and jazz fans alike for the last ten years. The Jazz Attic is a an opportunity for amateur musicians to perform with the house trio. All instruments and singers are welcome. £2/£1 if you perform. Arrive early.

Acoustic Valentine Bands @ Clwb Ifor Bach Acousitic Valentine’s day fun for those that want it, happening a day early. 7.30pm. £5.

Music With Taste- Lunchtime Concert: Daniel De Borah @ St David's Hall Lunchtime music. 1pm. £5.50 (concessions available).

Tobias Froberg / Gethin Pearson / Tanya Walker @ Toucan Club Tanya Walker is a soul singer whose work features arrangements involving the cello, keyboards and guitar. If you want a chilled out night then this could be a good bet.

8pm. £6.

The U.S. vs John Lennon @ Chapter Arts Centre Lennon film love-in that tells the story of the former Beatle and his protests in America for peace. 8.30pm. £5.10.

Friday 16/02

Saturday 17/02

Sunday 18/02

Access all Areas @ Solus SU New Look Friday...Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. Promises the best alternative music and beats for you to boogie to. 10pm - 2am. £3.50 / £3 adv.

The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Music for those who love music. An indie and retro night that takes in the heady landscape created by the likes of Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Dusty Springfield.

10.pm – 2.30am. £3.50 / £4.

Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV comperes an indietastic night of your favourite alternative music, ranging from the Strokes to the Smiths to absolutely everything in between. 10.30pm - 2am. £5.

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Traffic (DJ and clubbing society) playing house music in the other. 10pm. £3.50.

Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. Surprisingly, it’s nothing to do with fly swatters. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. Piney Gir's Country Roadshow / Sweet Baboo @ Clwb Ifor Bach Lo-fi country fun from Kansas City’s Piney Gir, who performs with a full band. 8pm. £5.

Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere where you can experience live acoustic acts, songwriters and performers, as well as participating yourself if you so desire, and share your musical talent with the rest of the world (OK, a small part of Cardiff). 8pm - 3am. £1.

The Hop @ Buffalo Bar The resident DJs present 50’s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. Cult 50s films and the extra large milkshakes are another rather fine attraction. 8pm - 3am.

Free.

Pick Of The Day The Noisettes / The Foals / Mayor MCCA @ Clwb Ifor Bach A night of jazz-rock and electro indie-pop.

First up are London’s The Noisettes, who mix punk, rock ‘n’ roll and jazz to a rather thrilling effect. The trio’s singer Shingai has been described as a cross between Martina Topley-Bird, the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Karen O and Bilie Holiday, so it should be quite a night. Also playing are The Foals, a five-piece who make indie-disco-electro pop and have been rated by the NME. 8pm. £7.

Muttywango Party: DJ Food / Bass Pilots / Money Shot / DJ Killer Tomato @ The Point DJing fun at the Point. For more information, visit: www.plugtwo.com. 10pm. £10.

Union Of Knives @ Barfly Scottish trio who produce, according to ents24.com, “Dirty electro-indie ... and multilayered riffs, contrasting them with haunting and delicate vocals to create an original and lingering sound.” Could be worth a look, so go and check them out and see what they are like for yourselves. 7.30pm. £5.

Pick Of The Day Air Traffic / Snowfight In The City Centre / Ghosts @ Barfly More indie rock as recommended by Listings, this time coming, of all places, from Bournemouth. The titular group, Air Traffic, signed to EMI only last year, and big things are expected of them. Next up to the stage are Manchester’s Snowfight In The City Centre, who have already earned support slots touring with Paolo Nutini and The Feeling. The Independent has said of them that, “…SITCC are purveyors of delicate and hooky guitar pop…beautiful.” Concluding the night are London’s Ghosts, who produce melodic rock interweaved with skillfully-executed harmonies. 8.30pm. £7.

Julia Harris @ Chapter Arts Centre Urban folk/acoustic shenanagans from the dreadlocked-singer. Cardiff-born and bred, her music has echoes of female performers like Erykah Badu. She released an LP, These Days, in May last year. 8pm. £7/ £5.

Holiday On Ice @ CIA Lots of skating fun on ice. 1pm / 4:15pm/ 7:30pm. £11.

Tony Law / Geoff Boyz / Ian Moore / Bennett Arron @ Glee Club Quadruple comedy fun. Arron is apparently the only comedian on the circuit who is both Jewish and Welsh. 7.45pm. £7.50.

Pick Of The Day Joe Lally (of Fugazi) / Zu @ The Point Joe Lally, bass player from the post-hardcore group Fugazi. After 20 years together, the man who has developed his own style of bass playing is striking out on his own. Support comes from Zu, an Italian soul group who veer towards jazz improvisation using sax, drums and bass.

7.30pm. £8.

Pick Of The Day The Misfits @ Chapter Arts Centre It’s Sunday, it’s February and there isn’t exactly a whole lot going on this time of year, so now may be the time to skip on down to Canton’s Chapter Arts Centre and check out this screening of the classic early Sixties film. The Misfits, written by playwright Arthur Miller, stars his one-time wife, Marilyn Monroe, alongside the one and only Clark Gable. Our heroes feature in a tale, directed by John Huston, that is based on the cowboys of Reno, mixing pathos, despair and, with Monroe on board, a whole lot of sex appeal. 5pm. £5.10.

Last Gang @ Barfly Your new favourite (probably, anyway) indie rock from Last Gang, with ample support from Mr Maggs. 8pm.

Steven Seagal & Thunderbox @ Coal Exchange The actor and musician Seagal has toured the US with his band Thunderbox. Unlike other rockstar-wannabe Hollywood actors, world and blues music are his key infuences, and he even got to duet with Stevie Wonder on his first album. 8pm. £26.

Quietly Collapsed: Rosie Dennis @ Chapter Arts Centre Idiosyncratic Australian writer and performer. tour. 8pm. £6.

Pick Of The Day Joan Armatrading @ St David’s Hall Joan Armatrading is a singer who has a long list of fabulous releases dating back to her hit releases in the late 70s and early 80s. She has recorded with Prince and performed for Nelson Mandela. Wow. Don’t miss this rare chance to see Joan, a British folk icon, on her UK tour. 8pm. £24.50.

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Moloko, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

42 gairrhydd

SPORT

FEBRUARY.12.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

Jack Parsons IMG Reporter

Economics 1 - 2 Arse’Alona IN A DRAMATIC match, Arse’Alona snatched an injury-time winner to finally break the resistance of a stubborn Economics side.

Unfortunately for last year’s runners-up, the three points were not enough to ensure Arse’Alona Premiership status yet again as a onepoint deduction came back to haunt them.

The first half of the match was characterised by Arse’Alona consistently creating scoring opportunities but being unable to find the cutting edge they desired. The bulk of these chances came as they looked to utilise pace and space in the wide positions and stretch an organised Economics defence.

However, Economics posed a threat on the counter-attack as they attempted to soak up pressure and retaliate with speed.

The beginning of the second half followed this pattern until Economics grabbed the opener to punish Arse’Alona’s wastefulness in front of goal.

Jon Scheznefor, who had been the

driving force for Economics from the centre of midfield, broke into the box and pulled a great ball to the back post where striker David Weston was able to pounce from close range.

The goal shocked Arse’Alona into action and after a long period of pressure marred by time-wasting attempts from Economics they had their equaliser.

A long throw caused confusion and as the ball was nodded down by captain Mo Fawzi it fell perfectly for Frank Nally to hit a first-time volley from the edge of the box into the far corner of the net.

But the drama was not finished there. In a frantic finale, Arse’Alona goalkeeper Greg Swatkins rose in the opposition box from a long throw to nod to the far post where striker James Meredith gained the final touch to give Arse’Alona the points.

The win would have sent them top but the point deduction means they will have to settle for Division One football this year.

Afterwards Arse’Alona captain, Mo Fawzi, remarked: “I’m proud of the way we fought back and we deserved our win.

Meanwhile, after suffering a fifth consecutive defeat, Economics will have to adjust to life in Division Two.

Crusaders shock Chem Soc James Hayward IMG Reporter

Crusaders 0 - 0 Chem Soc

CRUSADERS defied Chem Soc’s best efforts to secure a Premiership spot by holding them to a goalless draw.

While AFC Cathays won and Havana Dragoms lost elsewhere, Chem Soc slipped out of the top two places in Group D when it mattered the most.

Following this latest result, Chem Soc will now have to adjust to life in Division One and compete for the title against strong opposition including Arse’Alona, Law A and rivals Havana Dragons.

And things certainly didn’t start well for Chemistry last Wednesday.

The absence of almost half their starting lineup led them to opt for an experimental 3-5-2 tactic. Despite this, however, ChemSoc looked the stronger side to begin with, quickly pressuring

IMG Football Results Wed 7 Feb

MOMED Real Ale Pharm AC Zoology

4 3 1 7

-

1 TWNN 13 Law B 1 Socsi 1 JapSoc

Myg Myg Esplanyol JOMEC Economics

1 2 0 1

-

6 0 3 2

Gym Gym Boca Seniors Engin Arse’alona

AFC History Psycho Ath. Uni Hallstars English

5 0 0 0

-

3 1 4 3

J-Unit CARBS Butthead Law A

Inter-Me Nan AFC Cathays Thunderkatz Crusaders

6 4 2 0

-

1 2 0 0

Euros Park Rangers H.Dragons Chemsoc

the Crusaders back four.

The Crusaders defence was equal to the task, and Crusaders soon began to launch attacks of their own, with their best chance of the match coming in the 34th minute when Innes Ross hit the post with an excellent shot.

The second half proceeded at a faster pace, with chances from both sides appearing regularly. Both defences stood firm, with ChemSoc’s undermanned defence being helped by both their wing-backs.

Noteworthy performances came from Crusaders’ Andy Ballard and Chem Soc’s James Rogers. Although both sides created an even number of chances, Chem Soc seemed to make more of them.

Adam Thompson’s header struck the post in the 65th minute while a blistering volley from captain Alex Criddle called the Cruasders goalkeeper into action.

Yet even with the large amount of opportunities, neither side was able to break the deadlock in the end.

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 14 Feb

Zoology Momed AFC History Carbs

v v v v

Thunderkatz AFC Cathays Engin Gym Gym

Law A Law B Arse’Alona Boca Seniors

v v v v

Butthead Pharm AC Chemsoc H.Dragons

Socsi Real Ale Jomec Economics

v v v v

J-Unit Psycho Ath. Crusaders Inter-Me Nan

Japsoc TWNN Esplanyol Myg Myg

v v v v

Uni Hallstars English Soc Euros Park Rangers

PHOTO: TOM SCEZIBIOT

Arse’Alona left gutted despite victory

Football tables IMG Football

Group A P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Zoology*

7

6

0

1

29

17

2

MOMED

7

5

1

1

17

16

3

Law B

7

5

1

1

15

16

4

Pharm AC

7

4

1

2

16

13

5

Socsi

7

3

1

3

12

10

6

Real Ale Madrid

7

2

0

5

-45

6

7

Japsoc

7

1

0

6

-12

3

8

TWNN

7

0

0

7

-32

0

P

W

IMG Football

Group B D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Gym Gym

7

5

1

1

18

16

2

Engin

7

5

1

1

11

16

3

Arse’Alona*

7

5

1

1

19

15

4

Boca Seniors

7

3

2

2

1

11

5

JOMEC*

7

3

1

3

1

9

6

Economics

7

2

0

5

-8

6

7

Myg Myg

7

1

0

6

-21

3

8

Esplanyol

7

1

0

6

-21

3

P

W

IMG Football GYM GYM: Now a Premier team

Gym Gym clinch top spot

Eilian Hughes IMG Reporter

Myg Myg 1 - 6 Gym Gym LAST YEAR’S Division One champions, Gym Gym, secured a place in the Premiership this time around after recording a crucial win over Myg Myg. Moreover, this comfortable victory enabled Gym Gym to complete Phase 1 as Group B leaders.

With only two points separating the top four teams in the group, Gym Gym needed all three points to be entirely sure of clinching a Premiership spot.

However, Myg Myg started brightly and took a surprise lead within the first five minutes.

Myg Myg’s Aled Williams expertly curled an unstoppable shot from 20 yards into the top right

hand corner of the goal, after Osian Lloyd had struck the woodwork.

But despite this early setback, Gym Gym showed plenty of character by slowly clawing themselves back into the game, and they eventually equalised.

It was Mathew Phillips who scored, cutting in from the left wing before rifling a shot across the goal into the far corner.

And shortly afterwards, Gym Gym went ahead through the prolific Alun Williams, who converted a cross from the ever-busy Phillips.

Their relief was evident at half time, and a goal glut soon followed after the break. Gym Gym centreback Daffyd Healy added a third, while Williams struck a thunderous fourth goal.

Finally, Iwan Price completed the scoring with a late brace to seal an impressive Gym Gym victory.

menon on the match FOOTBALL NUMBER OF GOALS: 77 goals, 4.8125 goals per game WHIPPING BOYS: Real Ale Madrid lost 13-3 to Law B SURPRISE PACKAGE: AFC Cathays surprised everyone by reaching the Premiership this week EPIC GAMES: AFC History v J-Unit was an 8-goal thriller with plenty of action CONSISTENT PERFORMER: AFC History just can’t stop winning, they have been magnificent so far TEAM OF THE WEEK: I think History deserve this award for their consistency. Winning 7 straight games is a remarkable achievement.

IMG Netball Fixtures Sat 10 Feb

Christ. Union Cardiff Uni A Pharmacy A Cardiff Uni B

v v v v

CARBS A Socsi A Economics B Law A

Wed 14 Feb CARBS Economics Law Socsi

A A A A

v v v v

Pharmacy A Cardiff B Cardiff A Christ. Union

Optometry IWC A A’motive Pharmacy B

v v v v

IWC B English B English A Gym Gym

NETBALL NUMBER OF GOALS: 236 goals, 19.6 goals per game GOLDEN GIRLS: English B scored 28 in two games SURPRISE PACKAGE: Gym Gym upset the odds with a resounding 11-3 win over Optometry EPIC GAMES: Both matches involving English A were both very tight affairs CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Dynamo Tigers won their fifth consecutive game in Division One. Great stuff.

TEAMS OF THE WEEK: Gym Gym and IWC A get the nod for showing signs of improvement this week. Well done girls.

IMG Netball Results Sat 3 Feb Optometry 18 Gym Gym 11 Pharm B 12 Automotive 1

-

8 IWC A 11 English A 6 English B 16 IWC B

Wed 7 Feb CARBS B 12 Econ B 10 Medics 12 Socsi B 9

-

5 SAWSA 15 D. Tigers 10 Locomotive 14 Law B

Gym Gym 11 English A 10 IWC A 4 English B 18

-

3 Optometry 10 Pharm B 15 IWC B 3 Automotive

Group C D

L

Diff

Pts

1

AFC History

7

7

0

0

29

21

2

CARBS

7

5

0

2

20

15

3

Law A

7

4

1

2

21

13

4

Butthead FC

7

4

0

3

5

12

5

J-Unit

7

2

1

4

1

7

6

Psycho Ath.

7

2

0

5

-3

6

7

Uni Hallstars

7

2

0

5

-48

6

8

English Soc

7

1

0

6

-25

3

P

W

IMG Football

Group D D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Thunderkatz*

7

5

1

1

13

15

2

AFC Cathays

7

3

4

0

4

13

3

Chemsoc

7

3

3

1

6

12

4

H.Dragons

7

3

2

2

3

11

5

Crusaders

7

2

2

3

3

8

6

Inter-Me Nan

7

2

2

3

-3

8

7

Euros

7

1

3

3

-7

6

8

Park Rangers

7

0

1

6

-19

1

* Team has been deducted 1 point

Netball tables IMG Netball

Premiership P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Economics A

4

4

0

0

9

12

2

Law A

3

3

0

0

16

9

3

Cardiff A

4

3

0

1

11

9

4

CARBS A

4

2

0

2

5

6

5

Pharmacy A

4

1

0

3

5

3

6

Christ. Union

4

1

0

3

-8

3

7

Cardiff B

4

1

0

3

-27

3

8

Socsi A

3

0

0

3

-11

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Division One D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Dynamo Tigers

5

5

0

0

24

15

2

Economics B

5

4

0

1

26

12

3

Medics

4

3

0

1

13

9

4

SAWSA

5

2

1

2

12

7

5

CARBS B

4

2

0

2

-5

6

6

Locomotive

5

1

1

3

-3

4

7

Law B

5

1

0

4

-21

3

8

Socsi B

5

0

0

5

-46

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Division Two D

L

Diff

Pts

1

English A

5

3

2

0

31

11

2

Pharmacy B

5

3

1

1

40

10

3

IWC A

5

3

0

2

-1

9

4

English B

5

2

0

3

-1

6

5

IWC B

4

2

0

2

-2

6

6

Optometry

5

2

0

3

-19

6

7

Gym Gym

3

1

1

1

3

4

8

Automotive

4

0

0

4

-51

3

gairrhydd

SPORT

FEBRUARY.12.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Esplanyol sink Boca

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast CARBS A brush SAWSA aside

Esplanyol 2 - 0 Boca

CARBS A maintain their 100% record with a comprehensive victory over struggling SAWSA IMG Rugby Results Wed 7 Feb CARBS A 32 - 3 SAWSA Stoma N - N Medics

Matt Peacock IMG Reporter

CARBS A 32 - 3 SAWSA

N= result not in yet

IMG Rugby Fixtures Sun 11 Feb Engin v Stoma Planning v MASTS Wed 14 Feb Engin v Pharmacy

IMG Rugby

CHAMPIONS CARBS A began 2007 with a brilliant victory over SAWSA last Wednesday.

This latest win leaves CARBS in second place behind leaders Engin, who currently top the table on virtue of goal difference An impressive CARBS A stamped

their mark on the game from the start.

From a quick line-out, Daniel Sendell went over to score the first try of the match.

CARBS kept up the pressure and soon increased their lead when they were awarded a penalty try.

Things soon turned from bad to worse for SAWSA in the second half

as Gareth Duncan converted two penalties, following a sustained period of possession.

And CARBS continued to dominate as Dominic Smith and Sendell scored both scored a try.

The day saw a great game of rugby, and a solid team performance enabled CARBS to seal a deserved victory.

8/2/07 (Please note: some results are missing) W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Engin

2

2

0

0

40

6

2

CARBS A

2

2

0

0

34

6

3

Pharmacy

1

1

0

0

2

3

4

MASTS

1

1

0

0

5

3

5

SAWSA

3

1

0

2

-31

3

6

Law

0

0

0

0

0

0

7

Planning

0

0

0

0

0

0

8

Medics

2

0

0

2

-7

0

9

Stoma

1

0

0

1

-19

0

10

CARBS B

2

0

0

2

-24

0

P

43

AFFECTION: CARBS A and SAWSA lock horns

STRUGGLERS Esplanyol recorded their first win of the season following an excellent team performance against Boca Seniors.

From the start it was evident that Esplanyol were a far greater side than results have shown. In particular, Esplanyol’s Harry Sedman tormented the Boca full-back early on, twisting and turning to create a number of chances in the opening half hour.

A goal was imminent and when Sedman ran into the box one more time, the ball fell kindly for Tom Jones who drove the ball home.

Boca responded well by applying pressure on Esplanyol but the defence held firm until the break.

The start of the second half saw both sides attacking but Boca seemed to be running out of ideas.

Despite having a Nathan Chrimes strike ruled out for offside, Esplanyol were determined to seal all three points.

After Boca missed a great chance to level the match, the hardworking Chrimes got what he deserved when he found the net and secured victory.

Although Esplanyol have ended Phase 1 on a high, they now must concentrate on winning the Division Three title. Meanwhile, Boca still qualified for Division One.

Were Menon’s football predictions right?

IMG FOOTBALL GROUPS Premiership Zoology Momed Gym Gym Engin AFC History CARBS Thunderkatz AFC Cathays Division One Law B Pharm AC Arse’Alona Boca Seniors Law A Butthead FC Havna Dragons Chem Soc Division Two Socsi Real Ale Madrid JOMEC Economics J-Unit Psycho Athletico Cardiff Crusaders Inter Me-Nan Division Three Japsoc TWNN Myg Myg Esplanyol Uni Hallstars English Soc Euros Park Rangers

As Phase 1 of IMG Football is now complete, Dave Menon finds out whether he got his pre-season predictions correct TEAM Zoology Engin AFC History Gym Gym CARBS Momed Thunderkatz AFC Cathays Arse’Alona Law A Chem Soc Law B Butthead FC Havana Dragons Pharm AC Boca Seniors JOMEC Economics Socsi Psycho Athletico Cardiff Crusaders J-Unit Inter Me-Nan Real Ale Madrid Japsoc Euros Esplanyol English Soc Myg Myg Uni Hallstars Park Rangers TWNN

GROUP PREDICTION PRE-SEASON ODDS A B C B C A D D B C D A C D A B B B A C D C D A A D B C B C D A

Premiership Premiership Division One Division One Premiership Premiership Division One Division Two Premiership Premiership Premiership Division One Division Three Premiership Division One Division Two Division Two Division One Division Two Division One Division Three Division Two Division Three Division Three Division Two Division One Division Three Division Two Division Three Division Three Division Two Division Three

12-1 7-1 25-1 20-1 7-1 7-1 40-1 66-1 6-1 10-1 16-1 33-1 75-1 20-1 33-1 50-1 50-1 20-1 66-1 40-1 70-1 66-1 70-1 80-1 45-1 40-1 70-1 50-1 75-1 80-1 66-1 80-1

OUTCOME Premiership Premiership Premiership Premiership Premiership Premiership Premiership Premiership Division One Division One Division One Division One Division One Division One Division One Division One Division Two Division Two Division Two Division Two Division Two Division Two Division Two Division Two Division Three Division Three Division Three Division Three Division Three Division Three Division Three Division Three

WAS MENON RIGHT?

REVISED PREDICTION

Yes Yes No No Yes Yes No No No No No Yes No No Yes No Yes No Yes No No Yes No No No No Yes No Yes Yes No Yes

1st or 2nd in Premiership 1st or 2nd in Premiership 3rd or 4th in Premiership 3rd or 4th in Premiership 5th or 6th in Premiership 5th or 6th in Premiership 7th or 8th in Premiership 7th or 8th in Premiership 1st or 2nd in Division One 1st or 2nd in Division One 3rd or 4th in Division One 3rd or 4th in Division One 5th or 6th in Division One 5th or 6th in Division One 7th or 8th in Division One 7th or 8th in Division One 1st or 2nd in Division Two 1st or 2nd in Division Two 3rd or 4th in Division Two 3rd or 4th in Division Two 5th or 6th in Division Two 5th or 6th in Division Two 7th or 8th in Division Two 7th or 8th in Division Two 1st or 2nd in Division Three 1st or 2nd in Division Three 3rd or 4th in Division Three 3rd or 4th in Division Three 5th or 6th in Division Three 5th or 6th in Division Three 7th or 8th in Division Three 7th or 8th in Division Three

Menon got 13 out of 32 predictions right, giving him a percentage score of 40.6%

gairrhydd

FEBRUARY.12.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Changing Faces Sam Malone assesses the new look Welsh international rugby set-up WELSH DREAMS of repeating the extraordinary Grand Slam success of 2005 may well have been shattered in the opening game of this year’s Six Nations tournament, but all is not doom and gloom for the international side.

The results so far may well be far from perfect from a Welsh perspective considering the disappointing opening

loss to Ireland, yet the performances have been something to be proud of.

Wales had a nightmare start when Captain Stephen Jones’ kick was blocked and Ireland’s Rory Best scored after 46 seconds. Yet with the noticeable absences of Shane Williams, Mark Jones and Tom Shanklin through injury, and Gareth Thomas through a ban for professional

misconduct, the Welsh were inevitably set to struggle through the openers.

Given the catalogue of injuries, the emergence of players such as Chris Czekaj and the ever improving James Hook can only be seen as positives.

Coach Gareth Jenkins’ team selections initially suggested a move away from the expansive style that saw Wales to glory two years ago.

A heavy-weight pack and a back line that seriously lacked flair and adventure seemed to indicate a team intent with grinding out results rather than winning prettily.

The Welsh were inevitably set to struggle through the openers

WALES: Couldn’t contain O’Driscoll’s Army

Indoor Inexperience Ben Walker reports on CUCC’s first tournament of the year, which highlighted flaws in the side’s technical game

However, the inspiring form of scrum-half Dwayne Peel and Alix Popham, preferred ahead of British Lions captain Michael Owen at No. 8, has dismissed any suggestion of a hangover from Wales’ disappointing Autumn Series. The two have injected new life into Welsh rugby with some sparkling skill and intelligent play.

England took the risk of recalling pin-up favourite Johnny Wilkinson to the frame and the gamble has seemingly paid off.

Inevitably there have been calls for Wales’ own greasy pin-up Gavin Henson to be included in their set up to add some extra ‘style’ to the midfield.

Yet with Hook playing well and

CARDIFF FAILED to get their season off to the best possible start as they went out of the national indoor tournament at the first hurdle, losing both games in their group.

The day began well for Cardiff after they avoided pre-tournament favourites Exeter in the draw.

Instead they were put into an allWelsh group with Aberystwyth and Glamorgan.

Spirits were high with the prospect of a national final at Lords if they could progress through their regional rounds.

In the first game of the day, Cardiff struggled to adapt to the indoor game after winning the toss and choosing to bowl.

The ball swung considerably early on and Cardiff were guilty of giving away too many extras.

Glamorgan got off to a flyer, despite struggling to get anything on the ball when the Cardiff bowlers did manage to put the ball in good areas.

They went on to post an impressive total of 124 and crucially used up all their allocated overs.

Out of the Cardiff bowlers, Alex Trevarthen looked impressive in patches, showing some genuine pace off a small run up, while William Butterworth demonstrated how to

Czekaj and Robinson merely warming the seats for the return of Shanklin and Thomas, it would seem the only other viable option to include Henson would be to drop the skipper.

Quality options available in most positions and adequate cover across the park Granted, Jones’ performance against Ireland left a lot to desire, however he surely can’t be replaced by a man who, for more than a year, has not played much competitive rugby, certainly not to an international standard anyway.

After the rise and fall of the Ruddock era, under the helm of Gareth Jenkins, Welsh rugby it seems is slowly but assuredly being steadied beyond the turbulent past of last year’s Six Nations.

With quality options available in most positions and adequate cover across the park, the whole of Wales awaits with baited breath to see whether the potential in this Welsh team can be realised.

For the mean time however, this particular Englishman revels in the refound form of his nation and the return of their prodigal son. It would seem that once again the prospect of England versus Wales is an appetising one.

bowl in these conditions. In picking up 3 - 16, he showed the disciplines of line and length that the others struggled to achieve.

Cardiff were guilty of giving away too many extras In reply, Cardiff struggled to get used to the indoor hall used for the tournament. This showed itself with problems running between the wickets leading to some avoidable run outs.

Butterworth stood out, making 33* whilst Captain Chris Allen made a stylish 16, though Cardiff could only muster 93 from their innings.

Following this, Cardiff had to endure a long and nervy wait to see whether they had any chance of qualifying.

Aberystwyth’s defeat of Glamorgan left it all to play for in the last game with the prospect of a bowl off if Cardiff won.

This time round Cardiff were put into bat. Unfortunately the batting problems from the previous game reoccurred.

Butterworth again was the shining light in the batting line up making 31

45

SPORT news in brief

Trampolining CARDIFF’S TRAMPOLINISTS enjoyed success in Loughbourgh, as five squad members qualified from the southern region’s trampolining BUSA competition.

Of 130 entries in the Novice category, a staggering 5 out of 6 trampolinists from Cardiff managed to secure themselves a place in the finals – they were: Sian Souter, Cat Gapper, Kathryn Williams, Sarah Wattie and Naomi Phillips.

In the intermediate category, Beth Kimber, Naomi Ellis (who came first in the field out of 90 competitors) and Kim Atkins.

After narrowly missing disqualification due to an error on the part of the BUSA officials, Liz Hills also qualified for the finals in the advanced category.

Snooker

NEIL FAIRBROTHER took the first snooker club tournament of 2007, the ‘New Year Classic’, beating C team colleague Andy Kusiak 2 – 1 in the final.

It was a highly competitive tournament, with shocks in the first round such as the exit of second seed Joe Merola, the most consistent player of the year so far.

In the semi-finals, Fairbrother surprised first seed Ben Chung in beating him by over 40 points, while in the other semi, Kusiak beat winner of the ‘Christmas Classic’ Stephen Hughes to set up an all C team final.

The final was a close fought affair with the scores level after two frames, but Fairbrother managed to scrape over the line to take the tournament in the final frame, after Kusiak fell victim to some bad luck.

as poor running between the wickets and some loose shots lead to Cardiff only managing 88.

Aberystwyth in comparison showed Cardiff how to bat in this form of the game.

Their shot selection and running was much sharper, as they utilised their crucial experience to get the better of Cardiff.

Despite an overall improved bowling performance, Aber chased down the total with over 2 overs to spare, knocking Cardiff out.

This lack off experience in the indoor game really showed itself throughout the day, as Cardiff faced up against teams that have been playing in indoor leagues all winter.

Lack of experience in the indoor game really showed itself throughout the day Despite Glamorgan and Aberystwyth being sides Cardiff haved beaten comfortably outside in the past, they were simply outplayed at the indoor format.

46 gairrhydd

SPORT

Angharad Jones Rugby Reporter

SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Cardiff Edged Out Cardiff Firsts beaten by just a point but put in a great performance on pitch Scott D’Arcy Sports Reporter

CARDIFF Ladies’ 1sts . . . . . . .17 PLYMOUTH Ladies’ 1sts . . . . .17

CARDIFF LADIES’ RUGBY team rounded off their BUSA campaign with a draw at home against Plymouth.

The visitors proved tough competition for the undefeated Cardiff side, who managed to recover from a two try deficit to grab a point.

Plymouth took the lead early on after quick hands allowed them to pass through the home side’s defensive line for the first score of the day.

Cardiff quickly raised their game and this was rewarded with a try when winger Melanie Burge crossed in the corner to even the score line.

Despite going down to 14 players for a time, Cardiff remained strong defensively and managed to hold off the powerful Plymouth forwards, keeping the score at 5 - 5 going into the interval.

The visitors came out robustly after half time and after just a few minutes, the Plymouth replacement winger made a speedy run to score, regaining the lead for the away side.

The visitors kept up their momentum and in the 62nd minute crossed the line again, and despite suspect grounding, were awarded the try. Plymouth converted to take the lead 17 - 5.

Cardiff fought back and managed to close the gap when Burge crossed for her second try of the day after effective play from a stolen Plymouth scrum.

With just five minutes remaining, Cardiff went down to 13 players, but continued to assert pressure on a complacent Plymouth side.

In the 77th minute, captain Simone Shepherd broke the Plymouth defensive line after a kick and chase, crossing under the post to make the score 17 - 15. This ensured a nerve-racking finish for Cardiff but thankfully for the home team, Shepherd safely converted to even the score line.

Despite strict refereeing leading to two red cards and one sin bin, Cardiff never lost faith and remained strong.

The draw today means they have ended this BUSA stage unbeaten and at the top of League 1A.

CARDIFF’S DISMAL season came to an end with a valiant performance against a Bristol team sat just above them in the table.

The home side came out of the blocks with an admirable determination to record a win, which would have been more than deserved for the effort that was put in. It made for a thrilling match up, as Bristol were just as motivated.

Cardiff’s first chance came quickly, and it fell to Henry Cole, who posed a constant threat to the Bristol defence.

He missed the initial chance but the resulting penalty corner was smashed in to the delight of the small crowd in the Cardiff dugout.

This was followed by a prolonged period of pressure by their opponents, who looked to retaliate immediately.

However, it was Cardiff that should have scored when, after the breakdown of a counter attack, Tom Nicholas stole the ball from a Bristol defender and crossed only for it to be cleared by the ‘keeper.

This forward pressing by Cardiff was effective as it gave Bristol little time on the ball and forced them into some mistakes.

It took a while for Bristol to equalize, but eventually they made a breakthrough with a well worked penalty corner.

Instead of easing off, Cardiff stepped up the pace and a few more chances presented themselves.

The best of these was a strong

shot by Nicholas, fired high into the ‘keeper’s chest after a deflected cross found its way through.

Bristol that struck next with a long pass forward which was gathered in by their striker, who turned on a sixpence and rounded the goalie to slot the ball in casually.

Cardiff looked tired toward the end of the half and this let Bristol in with a glorious chance that came off the cross bar and was desperately cleared.

The hosts came out after the break rejuvenated and their passing was swift and direct and they looked dangerous early on.

CARDIFF 1sts BRISTOL 1sts

4 5

The game became an end-to-end, blow-for-blow contest They equalized soon after half time; good skill by Martin Freshman took him round the ‘keeper and he finished to rapturous applause.

The game became an end-to-end, blow-for-blow contest; finally Bristol managed to score again, but Cardiff hit straight back with another well taken goal by Freshman, who slotted in from a narrow angle.

Some brave defending by Nicholas saw him collide with the post in an effort to keep the ball from going in. Carelessly, Cardiff allowed Bristol to strike with just five minutes remaining due to a slip in concentration and, as Cardiff committed men forward to search for an equalizer, they finished again to seemingly put the game out of Cardiff’s reach.

The Welsh side fought to the death

PHOTO: SARAH DAY

Table toppers remain undefeated

FEBRUARY.12.2007

COLD: Luck Has Evaded Them

though, and managed to land one more punch before the final whistle.

The performance deserved more but,

Cardiff can take solace from their teamwork and work rate.

Fine run of form Andy Dickens Athletics Reporter

BUSA reports Send them to sport@gairrhydd.com

RUNNING: 132, 132...

FOUR CARDIFF RUNNERS put in fine individual performances in the latest BUSA Cross Country Championships.

The Cardiff team were depleted through national call-ups and unfortunate injuries, however personal pride shone through, ensuring that the team was still competing at a high level.

In the Men’s 12km race, it was left to Dan Stevens and Andy Dickens to lead the Cardiff rush. Without the likes of Mike Johnson and Alexander Fritsch, a successful team performance was out of the question, but the Cardiff duo by no means disappointed.

Stevens, who is currently training for the World Triathlon Trials later this

May finished in an admirable 71st, in a time of 38:15.

Running a consistent race, he took the hills with relative ease, demonstrating that he is well on course to gain a Great Britain triathlon place later this year. Close behind Stevens was training partner Dickens, who bounced back from a winter illness to secure a pleasing 137th place.

From a good start, the lack of hill training took its toll on the 800-metre runner, who slipped from the top 50 of the pack in the second half of the race.

Cardiff’s most outstanding performance of the day came in the Women’s 7km race.

Elanor Sherrard-Smith, last year’s BUSA Short Course winner, flew over the challenging hills to cross the line in 21st position. In a time of 23:25, Sherrard-Smith battled with Britain’s

finest to ensure a top class finish.

Teammate and Cardiff debutante Laura Backhouse showed her strength over 7km to support Sherrard-Smith’s run in a promising 178th. In a field of 300 runners, she displayed courage to work her way through to the line in a gallant time of 29:04.

Cardiff certainly did not let themselves down in races of an extremely high standard that were dominated by Birmingham and Loughborough.

However, from Club Captain Peter Frain’s perspective, it was disappointing for both teams to lose such important runners before the race even began.

Nevertheless, Cardiff aim to extend their good form in Sheffield in March and finish off a successful season in the remaining Gwent Cross Country League fixtures.

gairrhydd

SPORT

FEBRUARY.12.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Sloppy Netballers advance to BUSA Championships Becky Oatley Netball Reporter CARDIFF 1sts . . . . . . . . . . . .59 EXETER 1sts . . . . . . . . . . . . .34

us drop to the scrappy level of the opposition today”, Jenkins later commented.

Heeding this, the second half was dominated by Cardiff. Several sweeping moves down the court left Exeter chasing shadows as Cardiff tried to put on a show for the open day visitors.

GK Sam Lyons came flying out from defence several times, reading the play brilliantly, and the extra pressure on the Exeter WA from Smith nullified her attacking presence.

However, despite strong plays throughout the team, the air of a training match was inescapable.

Exeter continued to fight, but one felt the result was never in doubt, Cardiff the eventual winners 59-34.

Cardiff will now hope that this game has got a scrappy performance out of their system and force them to reach for the highs of earlier performances this season as they go into the BUSA Championship next week.

They have been the only team to get close to the favourites Bath this season, and will no doubt push them hard in the race for the title.

NETBALL: Through, Though Not In Style

CARDIFF Ladies’ 1sts . . . . . . .11 UWE Ladies’ 1sts . . . . . . . . . .2

two from Jones and in the last ten minutes of the game, striker Alex Joannides snatched a brace of her own. She was however, denied a hattrick by the UWE stopper in the last five minutes.

The side are sitting second in BUSA 1A behind Marjons, and will aim to continue their winning streak in the next stage.

Winning for fun WOMEN: Next Please Lizzie Hawes Hockey Reporter CARDIFF Ladies’ 1sts . . . . . . . .6 GLOUCESTER Ladies’ 1sts . . . .1

FOOTBALL: Sweet Strike

PHOTO: MATT HORWOOD

CARDIFF WERE CAUGHT offguard by an early goal from UWE, but fought back to claim an impressive win.

UWE’s early lead did not last long when Emma Jones put Cardiff back on level terms with an excellent effort.

Another three goals followed, scored by the tireless Sakura Fachiri, while at the other end goalkeeper Ruth Smith was rarely troubled.

The home side’s defence looked in good shape; Harriett Sharp was a holding force in the middle and Ceri Morgan created frequent chances down the left wing.

For a period, play was fairly even with opportunities at either end, but midfielder Jen Fildes got a glimpse of goal through the UWE defence and struck from 20 yards out.

Cardiff were relentless in attack as they took hold of the game, putting UWE on the back foot.

There was no lack of quality in the sixth goal when Zahra Chatur broke through the UWE defence once more and placed the ball in the top left corner, leaving the ‘keeper stranded.

Cardiff played some good football, passing the ball around nicely, especially along the left flank as Aileen Griffin continually outfoxed her marker.

In the second half, UWE desperately tried to claw there way back and managed to get a goal.

With Cardiff unshaken by this, the goals kept on coming with another

PHOTO: SARAH DAY

UWE Hit For Eleven Alex Joannides Football Reporter

Extra pressure on the Exeter WA from Smith nullified her attacking presence

PHOTO: SARAH DAY

CARDIFF WRAPPED up a successful Premier League season with a comprehensive 59 - 34 victory over bottom-of-the-league Exeter.

The result leaves them third in the table and rueing dropped points against Brunel early on in the season, without which Cardiff would have finished above local rivals UWIC for the first time in five seasons.

Cardiff took the opportunity of playing against a weak Exeter side to start a new centre court combination, with Jo Allchurch adding a fresh dynamic to the attack, linking well with sister Carly in evading the visitors’ defence.

Several turnovers in defence were quickly converted as Cardiff soon opened up a comfortable lead. While Exeter managed to set up opportunities of their own, any hopes of staying with

Cardiff were dashed by the home side’s superior height in the shooting circle, enabling them to quickly snaffle any rebounds and set up another Welsh attack.

The first quarter ended with Cardiff in possession of a commanding ten goal lead. Complacency set in during the second quarter and for the first time this season, Cardiff took their foot off the gas.

Desperate to save their place in the elite tier of BUSA Netball, Exeter were not going to give up without a fight.

They managed to put several slick passing moves together through their dominant centre and picked up their shooting stats as Cardiff’s threatened to wane.

Imprecise passing and lazy movement contributed to the breakdown of Cardiff’s play, and Exeter managed to draw the quarter, so Cardiff remained ten ahead at the interval.

Stern words from captain Carys Jenkins and the introduction of Kirsty Smith at WD were intended to inspire Cardiff on after the break. “Having seen the team play at such high levels this season, it was disappointing to see

47

GOING INTO the last match of their BUSA league this season, Cardiff held an unbeaten record and were confident in the knowledge that no matter what the result they had already won the league.

The match-up against Gloucester University, who are placed second in the league behind Cardiff, did nothing to tarnish that record as the Welsh side eased to a 6 – 1 victory.

Cardiff started the match slowly and the opposition soon took advantage of this early caution; within the

first few minutes they had won a short corner and slotted the ball past a sleeping defence to leave the home team trailing.

Cardiff replied immediately as Amy McGowan finished a well executed short corner routine.

Before the half-time whistle, Claire Davies and Laura Ferguson had added their names to the score sheet and Cardiff led 3 - 1.

The second half was all Cardiff; Donna McCormick found the back of the net just minutes in to the second half, while, Sophie Blair successfully took on the Gloucester ‘keeper in a one-on-one maintaining her record of scoring in every match this season.

The final goal was scored by captain Tamara Fateh, who has led the team by example throughout the season, and possibly to promotion in the BUSA play-off later this month.

Sport gairrhydd

Sucess for BUSA Netballers against Exeter Page 47

Arse’Alona miss out on Premiership spot due to point deduction, while champions Engin keep hopes of retaining their title alive

ARSE LEFT SORE Dave Menon Sports Editor

PHOTO: TOM SZCZEBOIT

IN A PULSATING week of IMG Football where emotions were running high throughout, champions Engin booked their place in the Premiership at the expense of rivals Arse'Alona.

Engin secured their passage to the Premiership with a comfortable 3 - 0 win over JOMEC, while last year's runners-up Arse'Alona were left disappointed despite beating Economics 2 - 1.

Arse'Alona missed out on a Premiership spot because Gym Gym defeated Myg Myg 6 - 1 to emerge as leaders of Group B. In order to stand any chance of winning the title this

year, Arse'Alona required either Engin or Gym Gym to drop points.

But although results have gone against Arse'Alona this week, the damage was arguably inflicted before a ball was even kicked this season.

Arse'Alona were initially deducted one point because a team member failed to show up at a compulsory first-aid course.

Crucially, if Arse'Alona were not docked this point, they would have qualified for the Premiership as Group B winners.

In response, a frustrated Arse'Alona captain, Mo Fawzi, admitted: “Obviously if the point hadn't been deducted for not turning up to a meeting, we would have won the group.

“This is ridiculous as we have shown

through results that we are a Premiership side, a side we beat 5 - 1 is going through ahead of us.”

Elsewhere, in Group A Momed reached the Premiership ahead of Law B on virtue of goal difference after beating TWNN 4 - 1.

Although Law B thrashed Real Ale Madrid 13 - 3, they were still two goals adrift of Momed's superior tally of +17. Nonetheless, a rampant Zoology clinched top spot with a 7 - 1 win over Japsoc.

Meanwhile, Group D provided a couple of shocks as unbeaten AFC Cathays rose from fourth to second following a 4 - 2 victory against Park Rangers.

As Chem Soc drew and Havana Dragons lost 2 - 0 to eventual group winners

Thunderkatz, AFC Cathays remarkably sealed a Premiership spot.

Finally, CARBS kept their title hopes alive with a tight 1 - 0 win over Psycho Athletico in Group C. Although Law A beat English Society 3 - 0, they required a favour from Psycho to stand any chance of competing at the highest level in Phase 2.

Also in Group C, high-flying AFC History completed seven straight victories against newcomers J-Unit, in a game that finished 5 3. History have now scored an impressive 39 goals in seven games and they are rapidly developing into genuine title-challengers.

For full details of Phase two, visit www.fixs.co.uk

Full steam ahead to the Premiership for Engin Danny Holland IMG Reporter

JOMEC 0 - 3 Engin

CHAMPIONS ENGIN grabbed a Premiership spot after gaining all three points against a plucky JOMEC side.

The opening minutes were even as

JOMEC tried to adjust to their new 44-2 formation. The JOMEC front two, James Bisgrove and Stuart Swan, showed early promise as they linked well in the final third of the pitch.

However, Engin took the lead midway through the first half with a superb goal from outside the box. And this was quickly followed by an Engin free-kick which was stroked into the

top corner, leaving the JOMEC goalkeeper helpless. These setbacks seemed only to inspire JOMEC to redouble their efforts and they were nearly rewarded just before half time.

After a confident penalty appeal, involving Swan, was turned down by the referee, JOMEC midfielder Karl Holland saw a free-kick well saved by the Engin goalkeeper.

The second half started with JOMEC dictating the match with good combination play by Chris Williams and Dave Kershaw down the left-hand side. Hard-hitting tackles from powerful midfielder and captain Danny Holland and Daniel Fowler seemed to shake the Engin team.

However,as JOMEC pushed up the pitch looking for a way back into the

game, Engin caught them on the counter attack with a goal 10 minutes into the second half.

Although JOMEC worked hard to find a foothold in the game, they simply could not break down a resilient Engin defence. And as a result, they were forced to settle with a Division Two place in the next phase of the competition.

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