Gair Rhydd - Issue 834

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ISSUE 834 FEBRUARY 19 2007

CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

Hot Fuzz stars

“The geeks shall inherit the earth” it!” ... it’s good isn’t

on Pegg comic gods Sim ost Quench chat to d an Nick Fr

BRING ON THE FUZZ Mob them!

Features on the rise and rise of flash-mobbing

SIMON D N A G G E P T S O R F K C NI

AGM preview

ut the new o b a h c n e u Q o t talk s and k e e g e t ri u o v fa film, their a fancy o t r a e w ’d y e h t t wha dress par ty , zero debate ze si e th y, rt a P c PLUS: Blo h disabled and travelling wit friends

News look ahead to the big decisions to be made at this year’s annual general meeting Pages 4 and 5

Hockey and rugby: just two of the clubs who will benefit from the Rubber Crumb pitch

CRUMBS

University pledge £175,000 to fund a new Rubber Crumb pitch at Talybont, putting Sport firmly back on their agenda Joanna Dingle News Editor THE UNIVERSITY has pledged at least £175,000 to the Invest in Sport campaign towards a new all-weather training pitch at Talybont.

At a meeting last Tuesday attended by Students’ Union President, Joe Al-Khayat, the University Strategy and Resources Committee unanimously agreed that in principle funding for the development would be in place, subject to match funding.

Match funding might include money from external sources,sponsorship, or fundraising.

The cost of the much-talkedabout rubber crumb pitch is around £350,000, so the University’s contribution would go a long way towards funding it.

The document detailing the rubber crumb proposal was presented to the University at the beginning of February along with letters addressed to the Vice Chancellor from a number of sports clubs.

The main principle behind Invest in Sport is campaigning to

get sport back on the University’s agenda. Since the last investment in facilities in 1991, the student population of Cardiff University has quadrupled, leaving students competing not just on the sports field, but also for use of training facilities. Continued on Page two

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As safe as houses

At

a glance

FEBRUARY 19 2007 News 1 Editorial & Opinion 11 Column 14 Letters 15 Science/Environment 17 Politics 19 Media 20 Jobs & Money 21 Television 22 Problem Page 31 Five Minute Fun 33 Grab 35 Listings 36 Sport 38 EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV John, TV Neil, TV Jane, TV Ellen LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD Huw Pritchard SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MINUTE FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITORS James Perou, Sarah Day SUB EDITOR Cathal McMahon ONLINE EDITOR Paul Springett PROOF READERS Aisling Tempany, Andy Rennison, Kieran Harwood, Jenna Weeks, Bryony Tallack CONTRIBUTORS Tasha Prest-Smith, Eleanor Morrey, Angela Pook, Natalie Parkinson, Vicky Beddow, Sam Shillabeer, James Temperton, Lee Macaulay, William Taylor, Stacey Hughes, Emma Jones Victoria Lane, Corinne Rhoades, Katy Gorman, Wendy Woodhead, Matthew Morgan, Anneka Buckle, Brychan Govier, Jenny Edwards, Kochi Jun, Jeni Fisher, Lucy Higgins, Gordon Lawrence, Charlotte Hill, Rachel Moore, Rach Payne, Cemlyn Davies, Matt Horwood, Adam Gasson ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

One big step for Welsh research

Cardiff University researchers set to investigate the conditions in space after the Big Bang SPACE: Much bigger than you can think

Tasha Prest-Smith Reporter WELSH RESEARCHERS are set to study conditions shortly after the Big Bang using the 'coolest' spacecraft in the universe.

University academics are involved in the European Space Agency’s (ESA) Planck mission, which is reaching an important milestone with the integration of instruments into a satellite at Cannes, France.

The instruments, which are cooled to levels close to absolute zero, are set to investigate the cosmic microwave background (CMB) - the remnants of the radiation that filled the universe immediately after the Big Bang about 14 billion years ago.

The tiny differences in the CMB are like the marks in a fossil, revealing details about the physical processes at the beginning of the universe.

The mission aims to answer questions including what conditions were

University to sponsor rubber crumb pitch wanted by 1000s Continued from page 1 The campaign is a long-term initiative and hopes of new tennis courts, a boathouse and swimming pool have all been raised by students who believe the current facilities to be substandard.

The campaign petition located on the social networking site Facebook reached over 1,000 members in the first week it was live, demonstrating the overwhelming demand. Similar proposals from the University Sport and Exercise department have been presented to the University in recent years, however they were all deferred, and this is the first student-led campaign.

The all-weather training pitch is considered the first stage of the campaign and could have the potential to benefit men and ladies football and rugby, lacrosse and American football.

In addition, the nine hockey teams will benefit from more time on the current astroturf facility. A number of these clubs currently struggle with restricted training times as a result of inadequate facilities. It is hoped that the creation of a rubber crumb pitch would enable the clubs, some of whom are currently facing relegation attributed to lack of quality practice time, to train in all weather condi-

tions, all year round.

In addition to BUSA clubs, IMG football teams could also make use of the pitch.

Understandably ecstatic, Athletic Union President, James Woodroof said: “The Invest in Sport campaign is proving to be a massive success, and sport is finally on the University’s agenda.

“This commitment is a small but significant step in the right direction for sport at Cardiff.

“Events such as the Fun Run and Health Month have raised awareness of the need for investment in sport, and the student voice has been heard.”

A University spokesperson said: “The University’s Strategy and Resources Committee was supportive of the proposal for a new rubber crumb pitch training facility at Talybont.

“The Committee agreed to match all funding won from external bodies towards the cost of such a facility.

“The University looks forward to the Students’ Union’s support in undertaking the next stage of the project and in working with us to ensure that such external funding is won.”

Woodroof expressed his hope that – if the University is successful in their sports match funding bid – the rubber crumb pitch would be ready by the start of the new BUSA season.

necessary for the universe to begin, and what caused it to expand at the rate it did.

Planck involves an international collaboration of scientists and industrialists, including the University of Cambridge, Cardiff University, Jodrell Bank and Rutherford Appleton Laboratory.

The scheduled launch of Planck is on July 31 2008 from Kourou in French Guiana.

Angela Pook Reporter LANDLORDS WILL soon be obliged to join government schemes ensuring the protection of tenants’ deposits.

From April 6, tenants will be protected by new government legislation that means the estimated 1.25 million university students that pay deposits with letting agencies each year, should have fewer problems getting their money back.

It is recommended that students paying deposits before April 6 should ensure that they do so with a regulated agent who is already a member of the existing tenancy deposit protection scheme.

Degree of criticism

University professors slate the NHS for hiring nurses without degrees Eleanor Morrey Reporter THE STANDARD of nursing in the National Health Service may be putting patients’ lives at risk, two professors have warned.

Professor Linda Shields, from the University of Hull and Professor Roger Watson, from the University of Sheffield, have said that American research has revealed that death rates were lower in hospitals where nurses have degrees.

The Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine says: “The consequences of poor education and mistakes are

NURSING: Are lower standards putting patients’ lives at risk?

deaths, so the imperative to educate nurses to the highest standard is mandatory.”

While nurses in many other countries need a degree, only four percent of British nurses are graduates, they say.

Sara Lucas, a third year Cardiff nursing student, said: “I have always found there to be a high standard of nursing regardless of whether nurses have been educated to diploma or degree standard.

“I have always been really impressed with my mentor’s and other nursing staff’s standard of knowledge and expertise.”

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Love is in the airwaves

Rugby star Gavin causes a stir on a visit to our Union bar

Vicky Beddow Reporter

In need of a hug?

Katie Kennedy News Editor

Henson tackles The Taf GAVIN: Not a massive fan of having his photo taken

Welsh chippie succeeds in its Guinness World Record bid

Corinne Rhoades Reporter FREE HUGS ARE on offer to Cardiff shoppers from a mystery Welsh campaigner.

The hugger, who goes by the name of Provoke UK, came to Cardiff’s Queen Street last week with a homemade sign advertising free hugs.

After asking a girl to film his activities, Provoke UK hugged four passers-by before being chased by other eager shoppers.

The mystery hugger’s antics are posted on You Tube, and women off-screen can be heard calling: “Me too, I want one!”

Provoke UK’s crusade was encouraged by an internet campaign started by Jason Hunter in 2001.

After losing his mother, Hunter began to offer free hugs in his hometown of Miami in her honour.

Strangers are said to have been happy to embrace him and since then the Free Hugs campaign has traveled all over the world promoting ‘social value’.

A Free Hugs spokesman said: “We need at least 3 hugs a day to grow and become better people.”

GAVIN HENSON made a surprise visit to the Students’ Union last week, only to spark controversy when he reportedly demanded that a student delete the photographs he had taken of him.

Gavin and some friends were drinking in the Taf, when allegedly a student started taking photos of him on his mobile phone, which led to Gavin approaching the student and asking him to stop.

It is believed that a man, who was sitting with Gavin, then went with the student into the male toilets and took the student’s phone to delete the photographs.

But that was not the only Gavin-related incident of the night. President of the Students’ Union, Joe Al-Khayat, asked Gavin to pose for a photograph with a Health Month sticker.

Vice-president, Ed Jones, said: “Joe approached Gavin and politely asked him if he would mind posing for a photo with the health month badge.

But Gavin refused.

“My understanding is that Gavin will not be welcome to come into the Students’ Union again.”

A student who was at the bar and did not want to be named, said: “I get why Gavin wouldn’t have wanted to be photographed, but I was surprised that he wouldn’t have a photo for the Union’s Health Month.

Doesn’t he promote other healthy-living things?.”

It is rumoured that Gavin and his friends gained entry into the Students’ Union by asking students who they did not know to sign them in.

All members of Gavin’s group would have had to stump up the two pounds entry fee to the Union which is charged to non-students using the facilities.

It’s in the bag

Mystery man offers free hugs to Cardiff shoppers

Natalie Parkinson Reporter

BIG BAG: The biggest in the world

PHOTO: Matt Horwood

THREE COUPLES spent last week under the magnifying glass of the public eye as Red Dragon Radio launched its first reality Love Room programme.

The couples’ private lives were on show 24 hours a day at the Red Dragon Centre in Cardiff Bay. With six men and women fighting over one bed each night, the Love Room looked set to bring with it the standard melodrama and mayhem associated with reality TV shows.

The Big Brother-style competition included celebrity guest appearances from the stars of Dirty Sanchez and Goldy Lookin Chain, who set the contestants daily tasks.

Listeners were voting contestants out each day, with the final remaining person winning a cash prize of £5,000.

Despite revealing the intimacies of ‘real’ relationship life, nudity amongst contestants will not be permitted. The station has provided the couples with their own portable toilet in which to change their clothes.

A CARDIFF CHIP shop, Dorothy’s, has successfully broken the World record attempt for making the largest bag of chips, as part of National Chip Week.

The shop in Caroline Street, better known as ‘chippy lane’, stole the title last Thursday from England’s Alan Williams of Mr Chips in Hereford, with his 400 kg bag of chips.

Owner of Dorothy’s, Tony Barcoe, was approached by the British Potato Council and the Guinness Book of Records to participate in the chip challenge. Barcoe said: “We didn’t hesitate to do it, we have a good team behind us and are confident that we have the best chips in Cardiff.”

An important part of the challenge was to make sure the chips were edible in order for it

to make the Guinness book of records.

To ensure this, the chips were contained in an insulated box and were checked at the end to make sure they complied with health standards.

The equivalent of 2,500 chip shop portions took nearly 5 hours to cook.

Catherine Lange from the British Potato Council said: “National chip week is a celebration of chips in order to remember that they are one of our national treasures.

“There have been some misconceptions about them producing an unhealthy diet when in fact a portion of chips contain half the fat of a cheese and pickle sandwich.”

This challenge has been one of the five world records attempted this week; others have taken place in London, Edinburgh, Wivenhoe and Blackpool.

The wastage will be going to a Monmouthshire farm subject to council approval that the chips do not contain animal fat.

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AGM PREVIEW: gair rhydd looks at the crucial issues on the

ACT OF THE UNION Students voting at last year’s AGM

Student parliament

If it goes through:

The Student Parliament proposal would entail a total restructuring of the way the democracy of the Students’ Union is handled and run. It would mean that representatives from AU clubs and societies would be represented in the parliament. The Student Council would therefore be abolished.

If it doesn’t go through:

Serious questions would be raised as to the effectiveness of the Student Council. There is a feeling

Non-sabbatical allowances The proposal to give non-sabbatical officers an allowance next year comes after 8 non-sabbatical positions were left unfilled in March 2006. The current situation with little incentive to take on the roles has left students with a lack of representation, and increased pressure on our sabbatical officers.

The motion intends to offer non-sabbaticals a part-time allowance to heighten competition for the roles and aid the search for a highly committed candidate.

This increased expenditure would cost the union in the region of £25,000 a year.

Union President, Joe Al-Khayat commented: “If a student is interested in getting paid to facilitate student welfare we should give them a platform to address this by paying them to work here.”

The Union Executive envisage a team of non-sabbatical officers that are not only a support to the sabbaticals but who are committed to running their own events and campaigns to improve the experiences of Cardiff students.

If it goes through:

CONSTITUTIONAL CHANGE

Currently decisions relating to the Students’ Union in Cardiff are made through the Student Council, a small group of around fifty people who meet once a fortnight. Under this new proposal from SU President Jo Al-Khayat, the Student Council system would be abolished and replaced by a more representative body of students that would sit as a Student Parliament and would meet once a month.

The proposal could prove quite costly as it would require a proper voting system and a room big enough for presentations that can hold representatives from all AU clubs and societies. Union President, Joe Al-Khayat states that: “The idea is to get people involved in the cutting-edge running of the Union, and instead of many meetings devoted to AU, or societies, it should all merge together into one meeting...I don’t know how more representation can be a bad thing.”

CONSTITUTIONAL CHANGE

that not a large enough representation of the student population is getting involved in the democracy of the Union. The Student Parliament comes with the promise of correcting this problem. If the motion is not passed, an alternative might need to be looked into. James Temperton

Katy Dobbs, non-sabbatical mentor, hopes the proposal will “spark a revival of interest in the positions”. Increased competition for the roles is anticipated, leading to better student representation especially for minority groups.

However, by law, officers could only work in the union for two years (you can only do two years as a paid sabbatical officer), preventing someone performing a sabbatical role if they’ve completed two non-sabbatical jobs.

If it doesn’t go through: The £25,000 expenditure can be used to fund other ventures. The right to criticise the work or conduct of the non-sabbatical officers remains as they are not covered under the Union’s staff anti-bullying policy. There may be unfilled nonsabbatical positions next year leaving their jobs to be completed by the sabbatical team or not at all. Abigail Whittaker

What do you think?

What do you think?

Gwyndaf Ap Steffan, first year Genetics "I think it's a good idea to give more representation to students, but I'd be worried about the costs."

Charlie Parsons, second year Accountancy student: “I would be in support of the proposal if it was made clear where the money to pay the officers was going to come from.”

Laurel Newnham, first year English Literature “I think that it is a good idea to get more people involved in decision making, it seems like it might use a lot of money that could be used in other, more worthwhile, areas.”

Tom Bradley, first year Law and French “Of course it would have to be trialled at first but it sounds like a good idea to me; a development of the current system to a more allinclusive one. But if meetings aren't devoted to certain subjects and societies, would all of the points be heard?”

Economics student, Lucie Crew: “I think non-sabbaticals should be paid to ensure people feel their work is appreciated and worthwhile. I would certainly want to be paid if I did it.”

Kieran O’Rourke, second year Mechanical Engineer: “I think that paying non-sabbatical officers may just bring the wrong people to the job; those who are doing it for financial gain as opposed to helping people for personal satisfaction and to gain experience.”

Medic, Matthew Collins: “If paying non-sabbaticals means we get a bigger choice of candidates to choose between, rather than voting for someone just because they’re the only candidate, I would definitely vote in favour of the proposal.”

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e table for our Union’s most important meeting of the year CONSTITUTIONAL CHANGE

TABLED MOTION

Change of executive roles

Provision for smokers

This motion sees two name changes for positions on the Executive - the people that run Cardiff Students Union on a day-to-day basis. The Societies and International officer would become The Societies, Postgraduate and International Officer, taking responsibility from the Vice President for the representation of Postgraduate students on the Executive committee. Ed Jones, Vice President, says: "Last year the Vice President was asked to take on the role of representing the postgrads. My role is very big and I've really struggled to get to grips with it. The Societies and International officer used to do this and they deal with the postgraduate society and a lot of International students are postgrads as well."

The motion also includes the creation of the position of Heath Park Campus officer. The officer will be a non-sabbatical and take the position whilst studying. The Heath Park officer would be the point of representation for students studying at Heath Park to the Executive at Park Place and work with the Education and Welfare sabbatical officer. They would also be the chair of the Heath Forum. Ed Jones, Vice President said: "Since merger, the University and Students' Union have struggled to communicate with people based up at the Heath. We feel putting this person in this position would really solve that."

If it goes through: Candidates standing for Societies and International officer would also have responsibility for Postgraduate representation next academic year. Also, the position of Heath Park Campus officer would be created and candidates could stand for the position in this year's Executive elections.

If it doesn’t go through: The Vice President of the Students' Union will continue to represent Postgraduate students in the Executive and the Societies and International officer will remain the same. The position of Heath Park Campus officer would not be created and the Education and Welfare officer would continue to be the point of representation for Heath Park students on the executive. Lee Macaulay

What do you think?

Hannah, second year Journalism "I'm going to vote for the motion because the Vice President has too much to do. Postgraduates are just as important as undergraduates. The Vice President deals with the whole university; surely he can't be expected to deal with Postgraduates too. I'm sure either of them would do a great job though.

Jackie, first year Medicine "I'd vote for the motion because it would lead to greater representation of medics at the Heath who are isolated from the Students' Union in Park Place because they don't have an Executive Officer."

Charlotte, first year Medicine "I'd vote for because Heath Park deserves to be represented fairly and covered equally regardless of the distance between campuses.

Heath tends to be forgotten about.

A ban on smoking in public places in Wales comes into force on April 2 2007, leaving the Students’ Union with a decision to make regarding smoking on university premises.

The law comes after the National Assembly for Wales voted in favour of the ban on January 30 2007.

This means that from April 2, smoking will not be permitted anywhere inside the Students’ Union building.

Two alternatives have been proposed for when the ban comes into play.

The first suggestion is to provide designated outside smoking areas attached to the main licensed areas of the Union building.

This would involve the construction of specific, sheltered outdoor areas where smoking would be allowed.

The cost of building these areas could be up to £50,000.

The second option would be to prohibit smoking anywhere on the Union premises, meaning smokers would have to go elsewhere for a cigarette.

If it goes through: If the Union decide in favour of building smoking shelters, they would need to gain planning permission.

If this is granted, there is a possibility that a commercial advantage would be gained over city centre venues, where no such shelters would be found.

This could generate more revenue for the Union, providing money that would go back into funding student services.

If it does not goes through:

OTHER TABLED MOTIONS Due to printing deadlines gair rhydd has not been able to cover some of the other tabled motions. As we went to print we learnt that the following had been propoed: -

The quality of our student experience End the Occupation of Palestine The War In Iraq – “Stop the War”

We also learned that the following topics may be discussed: - CUTV: a prototype of Cardiff Union Television may be launched - www.cardiffstudents.com - The achievments of the 2006/2007 sabbatical team

If the Union were to ban smoking from all areas of

the union including the exterior, they would save thousands of pounds that could be spent elsewhere.

However, there is a fear that there would be a negative commercial impact.

When the University of Leeds banned smoking for a trial period of four weeks they reported the Union had lost a third of its bar trade. Sam Shillabeers

What do you think?

Jeni Fisher “I think the money for the shelters would be better spent on other facilities for students, such as improving the gym so that more people would be able to improve their health and fitness.”

Aline Ungewiss “It seems a lot of money to spend when smokers could smoke elsewhere.”

Lindsay Hayman “It’s such a waste of money which could be much better spent providing students with the help and support they need to stop smoking altogether.”

Steph Hawker “Although it is a lot of money to spend and personally I don’t think the shelters should be built, I can see the other point of view in that it would enable smokers to enjoy a night out at the union with their friends.”

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Unions’ staying independent

NUS concerns over possible merger of students’ unions and universities Sam Shillabeer Reporter STUDENTS’ UNIONS are separate from their universities and should not join together with them, lawyers have told the National Union of Students (NUS).

The NUS have been worried that some universities are planning to use new charity laws to integrate their students’ unions into their structures.

Under the 1993 Charities Act, students’ unions were regarded as exempt from charities law, but the 2006 Act removes this exemption.

The NUS claim that some universities may try to use the new legislation to argue that students’ unions are “departmental divisions”.

NUS president, Gemma Tumelty,

said: “We are aware that certain institutions have attempted to use the Charities Act 2006 as an opportunity to attempt to integrate the students’ union into their organisations.

“NUS has been keen to work with the Department for Education and Skills and Universities to explore ways in which we can improve working relationships between students’ unions and universities and ask them to play a full and active role in that discussion.

“At a time when students, as fee payers, have increasing expectations of universities, responsible university managers should be working in partnership with students’ unions to meet these expectations rather than threatening them by questioning their legal status.”

Blair flashes his cash

Prime Minister to donate money to universities which generate funds from Alumni James Temperton Reporter

versities.

It is expected that institutions with more affluent alumni such as UNIVERSITIES WILL be encour- Oxford and Cambridge would get aged to build up funds of billions the most from the scheme, but the of pounds by targeting the pock- government has stated that all universities would benefit in some way. ets of alumni and philanDiana Warwick, chief executive thropists, Tony Blair of Universities UK, the vicerevealed last chancellors’ umbrella group, week. welcomed the scheme.

To encourage She said: “This is a new what is being and creative initiative which labeled a “culwill provide a terrific boost ture of charity”, to university finances. The Mr. Blair has endowment scheme will be a promised that he very welcome addition to the will give £1 for public funding universities every £2 rely on.” donated to In the USA institutions use English endowment funding worth billions uniof pounds to help students from disadvantaged backgrounds pay fees and get through university.

The government hopes that such a system in England can help students being hit hardest by increasing top-up fees.

This presents a problem, however, because many students might not have the cash to spare to donate to universities in years to come as student debt looks set to TONY BLAIR: How generous he is to spiral dramatically.

ENGLISH universities

Elections go online

FACEBOOK: Just one website to help your campaign

Corinne Rhoades Reporter FACEBOOK WILL be used to win votes in this year's Students’ Union elections.

Sabbatical and Non-Sabbatical candidates will be allowed to campaign using electronic media for the first time.

Last year saw nearly 4,000 students

vote in the Union elections, but this year the use of media such as Facebook and text messaging is expected to make the campaigns even more popular.

Candidates, who will be nominated from this Thursday, will also be able to use websites and email for their campaigns.

Vice President Ed Jones is co-ordinating this year’s elections, which will

take place over February and March.

He said: “These media can only help in communicating the message that these elections do matter.

“Important issues that affect students, such as housing and their course, are at stake.”

This year’s elections may see another first with the possible creation of a new position - a non-sabbatical Heath Park Campus Officer.

Drinking games

BANNED

Exeter University bans binge drinking games and ‘initiations’ following tragic death of student

William Taylor Reporter EXETER UNIVERSITY has banned binge drinking games and alcohol-fuelled ‘initiation’ ceremonies.

The move by the University comes after a first-year student died last year.

Gavin Britton, 18, had been out partying with the Golf Society when he was found dead in fancy dress in

the centre of Exeter. It is believed Britton died from alcohol poisoning as a result of binge drinking with the University golf society.

Jemma Percy, the Students’ Union president of Exeter University said; “I think students realise we are not trying to stop their fun.”

Following Exeter’s ban it is up for debate as to whether or not Cardiff University should follow suit.

James Woodroof, Cardiff’s Athletic Union President, said: “Any

ban or rules would have to include AU clubs and other societies, but students would be consulted.

“Such a ban would not be in place to ruin clubs’ fun, but, as Gareth’s death has shown us, there are serious issues that need to be considered.”

He added: “It is fairly evident that some parameters need to be put in place to legally cover the backs of club committees and, furthermore, the Students’ Union.”

DRINKING GAMES: Can cause serious harm

University applications soar Lee Macaulay Reporter UNIVERSITY APPLICATIONS in the UK have experienced record rises in spite of the introduction of topup fees last year.

Overall, applications rose by 6.7%, but Wales had less luck showing a 0.1% decrease in applications.

This is despite the Welsh Assembly’s pledge not to charge topup fees to students who stay in Wales to study.

The Chief Executive of UCAS, Anthony McClaran said: “Not only has last year’s dip in applications been

reversed, but application levels are now higher than in 2005, which had previously broken all records.”

Cardiff University saw a slight increase of 0.4%, with 127 more applications than last year.

Universities and Colleges Applications Service (UCAS) have announced the rise after releasing figures for all applications received before January 15, the deadline date for applications to be considered by universities.

Bill Rammell, Higher Education Minister said: “These highest ever figures show that tuition fees are not putting students off applying to universi-

ty, as many predicted. The critics of the new system are being proved emphatically wrong.”

In response, Gemma Tumulty, President of the National Union of Students, said: “If vice chancellors believe that today’s statistics give them a green light to lift the cap on fees they should think again.

“Insufficient progress has been made on widening participation, and it would be irresponsible to even consider lifting the cap before the full impact of the system on the sector and on students is known.”

What do politics think about this?

Take a look at page 19

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Mindless? ! £150,000 spent on decorating the Psychology Building

! Psychology Department claims that artwork advances students’ understanding of the mind ! Students maintain that money could be better spent

Stacey Hughes Reporter THE SCULPTURE outside the school of psychology has been officially unveiled and named the ‘Mind’s Eye’.

The artwork consists of 1,000 individually made terracotta tiles, which are arranged to create a number of different visual illusions to highlight the way the mind recognises patterns.

The sculpture was originally planned as part of Cardiff’s centenary celebrations, marking 100 years as a city and 50 as a capital.

Part of the funding was sourced

from the Arts Council of Wales and the Gibbs Charitable Trust, but this left thousands of pounds to be paid by the University and School of Psychology.

The sculpture has not escaped controversy, as last year gair rhydd asked whether the £150,000 spent on constructing the artwork could have been better used.

One student, John Snow, said: “Sure it’s a nice piece of art but at what expense?

“It seems a lot of money to be spent on artwork when I’m spending so much on tuition fees, not to mention top-up fees next year.”

CONTROVERSIAL: The Psychology building artwork

building Do you think the Psychology artwork is worth the cash?

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Olly Cowan, Criminology PHD

“On the face because that of it, it’s good drab. It’s th area is quite can spend it eir money they they want.” on whatever

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oney se the m “I suppo used on better e e b ving th could ke impro things li ut it means Union. Bto me.” nothing

Chloe L Psycholoafon, 2nd year gy and C riminolo gy

“No, it help mereally doesn’t studies at all in my of a was. I think it’s a b fair, esp te of money to it researc ecially when thbe could h h department e much mave invested it ore ben eficially .”

Cambridge car toon controversy Cambridge scholar faces disciplinary action after reprinting infamous Danish cartoons in college magazine Lee Macaulay Reporter A STUDENT editor has gone into hiding after his publication became the second in the UK to publish controversial Islamic cartoons.

CLAREification, the student magazine of Clare College, Cambridge, printed the cartoons nearly a year after an issue of gair rhydd was pulped and four of the editorial team suspended due to the publication of a similar cartoon.

The story hit the headlines in national papers and broadcast stations.

The guest editor of the magazine has gone into hiding over the comments made in the magazine which was renamed ‘Crucification’ as a special edition on religious satire.

The cartoon was printed next to a picture of the Clare College Students’ Union President in a satirical lookalike column. The magazine is well known at Cambridge University for being satirical and informal.

Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten sparked the scandal when it asked cartoonists to depict the prophet Mohammad for a feature concerning freedom of speech.

Islamic law prohibits the visual rep-

resentation of the prophet Mohammad and many Muslims took offence at the cartoons, some of which associated Mohammed with swords and suicide bombers.

CLAREification’s website was taken down on Thursday evening after the discovery of the cartoons.

The President of Clare College Students’ Union, Calum Davey, said: “This material does not reflect the views of Clare students.”

Clare College has also called a Court of Discipline to pass judgement on the undergraduate guest editor for the first time in living memory, and the paper’s funding has also been cut.

Jennifer Ja Maths

.I ’s rubbish “I think it ve they would ie can’t bel 50, 000 on spend £1 g like that. somethin ey need to spend Surely th on equipment. the money sn’t make me An eye doed psychology understanthan I do. It is anymore onal institution an educati’t help us to and doesnny way.” learn in a

Ed Jo dent nes, Union V ic

e presi-

“It ma a lot le kes the buil best w ss depressinding look 000 to ay to spend g but the to get enlighten s £150, properdepartment tudents is teachinly with out s running this is g because standing w not ha ppenine know g.”

A degree of dishonesty Adam Millward News Editor UNDERGRADUATES have been accused of ‘cheating’ by the Higher Education ombudsman.

The significant growth of higher education has resulted in a surplus of degrees that merely involve ticking boxes and memorising handouts, Baroness Ruth Deech has claimed.

It is this formulaic teaching structure that, according to Deech, has dramatically oversimplified degrees to the point that assessment is nothing more than a sham.

She said: “Students think they have to copy down accurately something that is already on screen at the expense of independent

thought.”

An estimate put forward by the BBC’s education correspondent, Sue Littlemore, implies that 10% of university work in the UK is plagiarised.

The research also discovered that the majority of cheating is overlooked, accidentally and intentionally.

Bill Rammell, the Higher Education Minister supported further education institutions, stating: “I do think we have very robust quality assurance mechanisms in place.

“Britain would not be the second highest destination for overseas students in the world, if we had a poor quality system of higher education.”

gairrhydd 9

WORLD NEWS

FEBRUARY.19.2007 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Fatal blizzards slam North America Emma Jones Reporter

North America suffers the consequences of extreme winter storms

NORTH AMERICA has been left in a state of disarray after being hit by horrendous storms this winter.

The massive storms brought snow, sleet and rain to Canada and the north-eastern United States causing chaos on congested icy roads and killing at least 12 people.

Schools have been forced to close and hundreds of flights have been cancelled in New York, Washington, Toronto and Ottawa.

But North America is not safe yet. Experts say the mammoth blizzards, which started in the Midwest on Tuesday, are set to continue.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, the Gulf Coast was again battered by severe storms, with a tornado killing one person in Louisiana.

Meanwhile, Quebec and Vermont were expecting up to 65cm of snow, while upstate New York was covered in 3m.

The big chill managed to spoil the romantic air of Valentine’s Day by delaying flower and gift deliveries.

Florist Karen Pell told Reuters news agency: “I’m afraid I’ll go out of business. I have $38,000 worth of flowers, but I’ve only sold $7,000 worth.”

The icy weather has killed more than 50 people since it hit the US in January.

Cows cause Flight of fancy deadly conflict US Air Force sergeant forced to resign as a result of posing in Playboy

Emma Jones Reporter CLASHES BETWEEN the army and Karamojong warriors in north-eastern Uganda have resulted in more than 50 deaths.

An attack on February 12, in which four soldiers were killed, sparked heavy fighting between the military and the herdsmen, or “warriors”.

According to army spokesman Henry Obbo, the conflict began when the Karamojong warriors, armed with machine guns, tried to retrieve stolen cattle recovered by the army.

The heavily-armed herdsmen are frequently in conflict with other cattle rustlers, the Pokot and Turkana warriors in neighbouring Kenya, often raiding villages for their livestock and usually killing inhabitants.

S i x t e e n Ugandans

COW: Herdsmen take on army

were killed in a cross-border raid by the Pokot warriors last year.

The Ugandan government’s most recent disarmament programme, set up in May 2006, targeted the extensive weaponry held by the herdsmen, which is estimated to be more than 30,000.

Despite this, helicopter gunships have been redistributed among the Karamojong warriors.

The region of Karamoja, which suffers from drought, is Uganda’s poorest region and is known as Uganda’s forgotten conflict zone because of the enduring tradition of inter-clan warfare.

Unfortunately, it is unlikely that the conflict will be resolved in the near future as cattle-rustling is a way of life in Karamoja and young men have few alternative ways of making money.

The cattle raiding has led to a serious shortage of food in the area.

As James Feeney, head of the United Nations’ World Food Programme (WFP) said: “It makes it difficult to bring food in and out of the region.

Even access to local markets is difficult.

“Many of the areas which are best for agriculture and for grazing animals are just inaccessible.”

PLAYGIRL: Demoted for pics

Corinne Rhoades Reporter PLAYBOY PICTURES of a US Air Force sergeant have caused controversy after they prompted her resignation.

Michelle Manhart’s decision to pose for the magazine led to her demotion, and she was removed from active duty.

Playboy magazine published the pictures of Michelle Manhart in its February issue under the headline ‘Tough Love’.

Ms Manhart decided to resign after she was demoted from drill sergeant to senior airman, saying she had served her country since 1994.

But the air force issued a statement saying her decision to be pictured did not ‘meet the high standards’ expected of their airmen.

Playboy published the pictures in a six-page spread showing the former sergeant in various poses both in uniform and in the nude.

Photographs of her in uniform showed her yelling and posing with weapons.

Ms Manhart believes the action taken against her to be because she was pictured in uniform, taking a military stance.

But she also allowed the magazine to picture her wearing dog tags and fully nude.

An investigation into the events took place in January after the pictures went public.

The 30-year-old was suspended from duties pending the investigation.

But following the decision to relieve her of her duties, Ms Manhart claimed the air force had gone ‘too far with it’.

She is reported to have defended her actions and said: “I’m disappointed in our system.”

Ms Manhart, who is also a mother of two, became a member of the US Air Force after she served as a member of the Iowa Air National Guard.

After she was reverted back to National Guard Status, Ms Manhart handed in her resignation, which is said to be ‘pending’.

World News in brief Victoria Lane Reporter

Strip search A GERMAN man has been arrested after he removed his trousers in Manila Airport in the Philippines.

66-year-old ‘Hans’ protested and stripped after being asked to go through the x-ray machine.

Hans could face a sentence of between six months and six years in jail.

A Police Superintendent said: “He was clearly irked.”

Kazakh fight back KAZAKHSTAN has set up the Kazakhstan Information Service in an attempt to repair the country’s image, which some believe was ruined by Sacha Baron Cohen’s movie Borat.

Leaders are furious at the portrayal of the country as full of antiSemitic drunks and in-breds.

Ministry spokesman Ilyas Omarov said: “The committee has been formed to try and take care of our international image.”

A new Wii? A CHINESE WOMAN has claimed that her dog has found a different way to spend a penny - upside down.

Mrs Chen of Changchun City claims her pet, Baby, began peeing in the new way three months ago.

“He used to pee as other dogs do, but one day I found him putting both hind legs up onto the tree to pee.

“I thought maybe that was only for the one day, but from then on, unexpectedly, he would pee in that acrobatic position.”

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12 gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

FEBRUARY.19.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

State of confusion

E

very day the media urges us to believe one thing and then another. The outrage at Jade Goody’s supposed racism has been the most obvious example of late.

How dare some fool call an Indian woman Shilpa Poppadom? And yet, it’s okay for companies and the government to stop people wearing religious symbols.

If you ask me, Britain is in a state of confusion about religion and, moreover, multiculturalism. There has been a tension in the last few years between public fear levels rising - as we are told a terrorist threat is imminent - and our pluralism which dictates that we should embrace other cultures.

This unease is exemplified by the ignorant public. We don’t think for ourselves because we can be told what to think. We are swayed by bigoted and hypocritical powers (The Sun followed

by The Daily Mail are the UK’s biggest selling national newspapers), which lead us one way and then back the other. And then there’s the government. Well, for a start we have no idea where they stand on the issue, and why should we?

It’s almost as if they delight in rushing through bills and trying to flummox us. Or maybe they are more confused than the public. Maybe they’ve lost themselves along the way. It’s distressingly ironic that although a gov-

ernment’s policies ought to reflect the state of the nation, the nation actually appears to be in flux over the state of the government.

The rules of the game seem so arbitrary that who knows when we are being antisocial or which act we are contravening before it’s too late. What is the right answer in this new world of complex racial and religious relations?

Are we comfortable with religion? The majority of us would like to believe that we are liberally irreligious, while tolerant. We don’t like being told what to believe in, but then how do we explain the hold the media, in particular, has on us. Like a cult?

The UK is an example of political correctness collapsing in on itself. The amount of ground we yield to multiculturalism is changing all the time because we don’t know what it is or how to address its problems. Last week David Cameron compared Muslim extremists to the BNP. The signals being given out to ethnic minorities are so convoluted that I for one am very confused; even writing this article I don’t know which side I’m supposed to be on.

The political correctness, which is a by-product of multiculturalism, has become a false ideology that cancels itself out; for every action there is an equal and opposing reaction. There are many who will have voted for Shilpa

to win Big Brother because if they didn’t they would have felt they might somehow embody The Sun’s distorted views of a racist.

Jade is not a one-off; there are a million Jades living in Britain, and the British public are deluding themselves or, more specifically, are deluded by the media. Tabloids prey on criminalising who or what they feel creates disharmony, so we go along with it regardless. By causing the outrage that they did, the public secured the media in the knowledge that they can go on manipulating our ignorance and our dependency on them, constantly creating oppositions. But who is going to question the bully tactics the tabloids themselves adopt?

ILLUSTRATION: ANDREW STYLES

The government shifts its stance daily, while the media shrieks and twists the facts. Does anyone know what they really think anymore? Wendy Woodhead examines multiculturalism in the UK

We don’t think for ourselves because we can be told what to think New Labour has introduced and reworked so many Acts (a quick look at the Office of Public Sector Information shows you as much) since coming to power - the majority of which we know nothing about - no wonder it’s so hard to tell where they stand. The contention over the Muslim veil last year is just one example of

their ambivalence: one minute the government are encouraging us to embrace other cultures, the next Jack Straw doesn’t want his Muslim constituents wearing veils in his clinic.

All of a sudden, the government had changed their stance - enough was enough. Before we knew it you couldn’t wear a cross if you worked for British Airways. I always thought the point of multiculturalism was to appreciate the fundamental principles of all cultures for a harmonious coexistence, not for us to dictate what people can and cannot wear.

It might sound odd not being able to wear a cross in a Christian state, but we aren’t a Christian state anymore. And if we aren’t successfully multicultural then what are we? Is the constant selfconscious way we treat religious tensions due in part to how we think we need to act when in fact the only custom we are fully willing to accept is our own self-idolatry?

That is why Shilpa Shetty was voted to win amid all this controversy, because it was an easy way for the British public to convince themselves they are doing something effectual, while in actual fact they are reacting in the most lethargic way possible: by sitting on their arses sending text messages into a sensationalist television show.

Oh yes, and grooming their vanity.

Lucie Apampa looks at the sorry state of British public transport, and suggests what can be done

P

eople say that the British like to complain. Well, that may be true, but have these accusers ever considered that aside from being a rich and privileged nation (which actually makes these complaints more annoying), we have a lot to complain about?

Top of the list is obviously the weather, but let’s not forget English people in American TV shows (take note Desperate Housewives), Michael Winner, the NHS, Richard Madeley, and – to come to the crux of the matter - the state of British transport. Yes, I am talking about Network Rail, all the bus companies, the motorways - can you honestly think of one exception which is actually quite good (and that’s not even asking for efficient)?

The whole issue of rubbish British transport was highlighted by the recent upheaval that a few inches of snow across the country caused recently.

People left stranded in airports, tube stations and bus stops nationwide found themselves in a familiar situation, made worse by the freezing temperatures, but better by the kind of explanation that is normally denied the average passenger who finds himself at the mercy of indecipherable overhead

train speakers. However, it was – at least in the case of Network Rail – company inadequacies, not just poor weather conditions, that caused much of the disruption. Network Rail have admitted that disruption on their lines was due mainly to failing heating systems that should have worked to counteract the damaging effects of the snow, and this – as any train-user will know – was no exception to the general competence (or otherwise) of said company.

So it comes as no surprise that recent promises from Alaistair Darling, the former transport secretary, to improve railway lines and trains were welcomed, if taken with a rather large pinch of salt. What was not so welcome, however was the recent disclosure that – surprise surprise – it would be we, the passengers who would be paying for these alleged improvements.

Significant fare increases have not yet come to the South West, but are expected to follow in the footsteps of London shortly. Passengers travelling from London can now expect to be tricked into false advertising as cheap ‘day’ returns are no longer valid from 4.30pm-7pm, thus encouraging many a commuter to enjoy illicit affairs with

secretaries and bosses simply to fill the time. Many fares have risen by as much as 11%, and even the terror-targeted tube stations have had the cheek to raise their prices.

In the face of all this inefficiency can the government really be surprised at the level of opposition that has been shown against the latest ‘environmentally friendly’ scheme that will have drivers spending £200 on an in-car taxation device that will record his/her road use? This latest surveillance tactic, road pricing, has been designed, in part, to encourage drivers to get out of their cars and use other transport methods. Now, I’m all up for walking a half an hour journey, but how can ministers

realistically expect thousands of drivers to give up vehicles of which they have at least some control, to happily adapt into the joke that is public transport?

The Government is always imploring the public to save energy, whether it be turning off unnecessary lights, rejecting cheap air travel or driving less, and this is undoubtedly a good thing. What would be a far better idea, though, would be for the Government to actually present us with some decent alternatives – to offer the public something other than fear of environmental changes that may well occur after most of them are six feet under, in order to persuade us to make the fundamental

changes that need to be made. Show us a public transport system where you don’t need to add on an extra hour of journey time to account for probable delays and I am sure that many more people would take advantage of it.

To continue with the kind of policies that anger people, rather than inspire them while hypocritically refusing to place real pressure on other far more wasteful nations (ahem…America!) the British Government can expect little co-operation from its people. However, grow some balls and put really effective policy changes into play and perhaps we will see a more respondent public travelling on more reliable services.

gairrhydd

13

EDITORIAL & OPINION

FEBRUARY.19.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Top-up apathy

On February 7, a protest took place against a rise in university top-up fees. Matthew Morgan asks: why weren’t you there?

C

ardiff students have vowed to send a message to University Vice Chancellor, Dr David Grant, by staging a protest against increased top-up fees outside his office.” Thus opened an article in the last edition of gairrhydd explaining the reasons for, history of and movement behind the protest against the potential removal of the £3000 cap on top-up fees taking place at noon on Wednesday, February 7th, and an excellent article it was, in my view.

The protest took place, and was a commendable action by those who participated, but more than a public shaming of and message to the administrative powers that be of this university; it was an indictment of us as students.

The £3000 cap on top-up fees is only promised until 2009 The £3000 cap on top-up fees is only promised until the university financing review in 2009. The Russel Group (of which Cardiff University is a member) is pushing for the removal of this cap, opening up dangerous possibilities and pushing students further into debt if they are successful. In an already debt-riddled country a push is being made for us to pay yet more.

Paul Mackney of the University & College Union put it well (speaking at the 2006 London rally), saying, “What is always overlooked is that education is a benefit to society as well as the individual. [Universities are the] institutions producing doctors, nurses, engineers, and that is a huge benefit to society and therefore society should pay.” It is true that by the time these caps may be lifted we will most likely have graduated, so this may not directly affect us, but this is no kind of excuse for the apathy and disinterest of Cardiff students.

Being at this rally was a sobering experience. It was a good initiative – a matter of crucial importance – yet standing at the gates of the university last Wednesday at noon was a troop of

little more than ten people. It strikes me as odd that with over twenty thousand undergraduates at this university, an issue of such significance attracts so little attention. After waiting a quarter of an hour in the bright chill we trudged off into the main building and headed for the office of the grand V-C, who was away that day (innocently and with good reason, I’m sure).

Handing over the petition to the female delegate, a few good socialist words were said and the little crowd dispersed, leaving only an air of anticlimax in its wake. This was meant to be a sit-in; I’m pretty sure anything would speak with a louder voice than our petition.

I severely doubt this is an issue of politics, such as people not wanting to back the student socialists. These are not fire and brimstone, blind-but-tobourgeois Leninists – they were there supporting a single and important struggle shared by the non-ideologically bound Student Union (and it was good to see the Union President there, who was the most articulate among us). I also think it was hardly at an unreasonable time. Perhaps it would have required skipping a lecture, but lectures lose out to much lesser causes, such as an hour of sleep or just one more drink, every day. It wasn’t underpublicised: you couldn’t walk three paces without seeing a flyer and on the day the megaphone was booming. No, the problem does not lie with the agents of or reasons for the protest, but the painful lack of student activism endemic in Cardiff (and on a much wider scale) at present.

We, as first years, will be the first to feel the full sting of top-up fees, yet the sense of injustice felt by so many students has translated into precious little active opposition. Now, faced with the possibility of the next generation of those in higher education paying extortionate and prohibitive amounts for their tuition, and this while our government constructs plans of mashing £65bn over the next thirty years into a ridiculous and hypocritical nuclear programme, should be the time that student activism is vital and very much alive. It is not dead yet: this can be seen in the London marches of 2003

and 2006 on the tuition fees issue (in which Cardiff played an important role). It still exists, but it has been shamefully diminished.

The little crowd dispersed, leaving only an air of anticlimax in its wake Let’s say each student sacrificed the time and energy put into one night out a month into some just cause, such as the fees campaign. Imagine the potential impact of that. Standing above the Automatic gig in the Great Hall last night I heard the hysteric commotion come up through the floor like a vocal earthquake. If that type of energy and concern were put into more worthwhile causes than a fairly unremarkable indie band once in a while we could open up whole new possibilities for our influence as a student body.

To be politically active does not necessitate a specific party allegiance or ideological dogma, but to fulfil our social obligation is an important element of it. The student class is perhaps the ideal group for enacting social and political change and vocalising moral and intellectual concerns. While students here in Cardiff, we have shared life experience, the corporate energy and freedom of youth, shared geographical proximity and even our own media, union and buildings. Why, then, are we largely passing up our opportunities and duties for being a positive socio-political force? Politics is not the starched traditions and esoteric legalities of parliament and election statistics, but the operation and just running of society, of which we are a part and in which we should play a part. If we remain ignorant of and apathetic to our potentialities and social responsibilities then politics will simply be the domain of some distant, suited elite and our fates as students, as well as those students yet to come, will remain in their hands.

What does Politics think about all this? See p19

Starting from Valentine’s Day, Viagra will be available in three Boots’ chemist stores in Manchester. Anneka Buckle on the implications of this change

F

inding help for problems with sexual arousal could soon be as easy as buying cough sweets or any other everyday essential that we purchase from the chemist. Starting from Valentine’s Day, men will be able to buy the impotence treatment Viagra over the counter in Britain for the first time, similar to that offered for weight loss, contraception and chlamydia treatments.

The pilot scheme in Manchester may be seen as guiding the way to removing Viagra from prescription altogether and making it a true ‘overthe-counter’ drug. And with 7% of 18- to 29-year-olds suffering from erectile dysfunction, if the pilot scheme is a success it can begin to target these younger groups of men and improve figures of treatment.

Within two weeks of it going on sale in the US in 1998, doctors were writing 40,000 prescriptions a day.

But will this be the case for the men of England? Certainly, Pfizer, its manufacturer, would gain hugely if the drug could be marketed without prescription, but to get hold of the medicine takes a lot more than just a bashful nod at the lady behind the counter and a quick escape with the goods.

Boots believes that the plan will attract men too embarrassed to visit their GP Customers will have to give a medical history and have their blood pressure, cholesterol and glucose levels tested. If customers want a repeat supply they will be sent to a private doctor for a further consultation costing £37.50. Subsequent packs then cost £21.25. Alex Gourlay, the

Healthcare Director at Boots, said only “10 per cent of the three million men who suffered erectile dysfunction were currently being treated. By creating a service that is easily accessible we hope we can enable many more men to seek help for a very common condition." Boots believes that the plan will attract men too embarrassed to visit their GP for a prescription and encourage them to face facts. And with the support of the Government’s aim to widen the availability of medicines where it is safe to do so, it enables people to make informed choices about their own treatment.

It is important to remember that erectile dysfunction is a disease Ultimately, there are concerns that come with the new over-the-counter method. For one, there is clearly little mention anywhere about the longterm side-effects of Viagra, and for how long people should take the Viagra pills. It is important to remember that erectile dysfunction is a disease, and whether the medicine works after the use of two or three years in a row. Not only this, but Viagra has also been condemned for its relation to rape cases. It has often been known for some men, after taking Viagra, to go to brothel houses to satisfy their sexual desire. Clearly, there are serious precautions that come with the medicine, and not only that: boys must remember that if anything goes wrong, they should not expect to be treated by National Health. For just like obesity and smoking, any damage to your dangly bits as a result of getting carried away with the non-prescriptive medicine is seen as self-inflicted.

14 gairrhydd

OPINION

FEBRUARY.19.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Edification

Screaming the final specks of sanity into a chrysalis of dried tears

The Climate Continuum

I

said to myself I wouldn’t write any more columns on the subject of climate change. I’m a humanities student, not a scientist, and am well aware that my views on the matter, like everyone else – apart from Mad Mel Phillips at the Daily Mail, who seems to be getting her information from Tom Cruise - are entirely dependent upon the studies of eminent scientists. I have very little to contribute in the way of incisive comment or empirical evidence, so I stay quiet. I hold my breath as the politicians talk us all the way to a sweltering doom.

But, at the very least, I want our friends in government to make a bit of an effort to at least pretend they are going to take action. Unlike Rhodri Morgan, Wales’s First Minister, who last week provided us all with his charmingly quixotic take on the problem of climate change. Reacting to reports that by 2050 Wales could have a similar climate to Spain, the First Minster said, “If that is the kind of climate shift we cannot avoid having by 2050, it is hardly going to be unhelpful to Wales’s competitive position.”

Methinks old Rhodri may be missing the point just a tad.

It’s incredible the amount of times the world has supposedly ‘woken up’ to climate change over the past year.

First, there was Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, which was a rallying cry to the world, apparently, explaining with sexy but scary diagrams our impending doom. Nothing

happened.

Then we had the Stern Report, which was, we were told, the moment when man-made climate change became incontrovertible fact, and the economic benefits of tackling it were proved, so nothing could prevent us from saving ourselves. Nothing continued to happen.

Finally, earlier this month came the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate

Rhodri needs at least one more definitive study before he understands it’s not all going to be booming business and beach trips

CLIMATE CHANGE: Blimey

The truth about... balloons

I

notice out of the corner of my caustically squinted eye that Valentine’s Day has swung past again, distributing a sickly saccharine dose to the veins and with invisible pink hands coercing all those with lover-friends to buy cards and eat meals and smile and have a face.

Valentine’s Day is a hideous occasion for many reasons, but, mostly, it is a hideous occasion because it is a prime contributor to the problem that is The Balloon. It isn’t pointed out enough – at all, in fact - just how rubbish balloons are. So I’m going to say it again, because repetition works.

Balloons are rubbish. They are utterly, utterly rubbish. As I’m sitting here, typing this, I can feel myself getting angry about just how rubbish balloons are; and even more angry about the fact that nobody realises it.

Perhaps it is the quaint image of

chums romp into Number 10 at the next election. It’s easy to churn out eco-friendly spools of rhetoric when you’re riding a bike through the trendy streets of Notting Hill, but when you’re in government and you’re actually expected to act on at least a few of your policies, it becomes quite a different matter.

Just as Auden wrote about suffering taking place “while someone else

BALLOONS: Killing the kids the happy child, ice cream in one hand, balloon in the other - etched so deep in the consciousness of the human race - that has prevented us from seeing balloons for the awful, pointless things they are. What you don’t think about when that idyllic picture springs to mind is what happens when the child accidentally lets go of the balloon and it bumbles off into the sky in a kind of annoying, sporadic, almost-coming-down-soyou-can-reach-it-again-but-neverquite-gettting-there way, and as you lunge for it you spill your ice cream

all over your favourite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle T-shirt, and the pain of the loss of cold, glutinous scoops of vanilla, compounded by the fashion calamity that is the creamspeckled faces of Donatello and Michelangelo is so great that it makes you want to scream until blood comes out and you can roll about in it in the grass kicking your feet and screaming an impromptu song with lyrics about how terrible balloons are.

But, my (actually quite pleasant) childhood aside, the point has to be further stated. At parties, where bal-

Change’s latest report, in which “the world’s scientists gave their starkest warning yet that a failure to cut greenhouse gas emissions will bring devastating climate change in just a few decades”. But it would seem Rhodri needs at least one more definitive study before he understands it’s not all going to be booming business and beach trips.

And so I find myself in the uncomfortable position of hitching a ride with the Tories on their (doubtlessly skunk-suffused) bandwagon and slating Labour’s environmental inaction.

I haven’t felt this dirty since I caught myself nodding vigorously along with Robert Kilroy-Silk on Question Time as he defended his right to call all religions stupid.

But it’s not as if we can expect the Conservatives to do anything different should Dave and his ‘compassionate’

is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along”, so climate change takes place while we students sort out our post-graduation plans, or fret about our lack thereof, or drink the bar, as they say, dry.

Individual selfish concerns conquer the omnipresent threat that we in the wealthy West cannot see, but only experience filtered through our televisions or scrunched within the text of a whinging columnist. We read the paper or watch the news, tisk-tisk about how something has to be done, and then we go flying off to Prague on the cheap, easily dismissing that pesky hypocrisy.

And I’ll bet my next loan cheque that even after the next ‘definitive’ study howling about raised sea levels and the exponential increase of the starving poor, nothing but the climate will change at all.

loons make their most common appearances, festooning the doorways, nooks and, of course, crannies of our living-holes, they are inevitably wrenched from the wall by drunken fingers during the dirty hours and batted about a few times.

were drunk it would probably seem quite fun.

But give a drunken person a balloon to bat around and I guarantee they will find it fun for a sum total of three seconds. Throwing and catching is a much neglected and noble hobby and does not deserve to be diluted into a farce through adoption of the balloon as a viable game-object.

Balloons are never fun, yet, like Tony Blair, they are able to trick us repeatedly that they are able to provide an adequate service. It is imperative that just as we say, “No, Tony, you are an infelicitous facilitator of my needs as an ethical human,” we also say, “No, Balloon, I will not be tricked again by your beguiling tumescent shape and gloss finish. I see no joy in your bulbous curves and dismiss you thus”.

So next time you have a party, lose the balloons and bring in the bubbles.

They provide a vastly superior service to the balloon, including an emotionally resonant transience and glimmering rainbow visuals.

I urge you to spurn balloons - buy bubbles.

As I’m sitting here, typing this, I can feel myself getting angry about just how rubbish balloons are A drunken person possesses the ability to make even the most horrible pursuit fun. Talking when drunk? Fun. Dancing when drunk? Fun. Cleaning up a slick of your best friend’s vomit while an aesthetically-challenged affiliate of the opposite sex attempts to help you while surreptitiously manufacturing the physical contiguity of your faces? Fun, fun, fun. Even if you watched Moulin Rouge when you

gairrhydd

LETTERS

FEBRUARY.19.2007 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com The letter’s page is for anyone who wants to have an opinion on anything...

Dear gair rhydd, I AM WRITING in response to the letter printed in last week’s edition concerning the Union security staff and a reported incident in SOLUS. I have spoken with the Duty Manager and Bars Manager about the evening in question and hope to shed some light on the event and the broader standard of security in the Students’ Union.

It must be stressed that the Students’ Union prides itself on providing an exceptionally safe social environment for its members. All of our door staff are SIA (Security Industry Authority) qualified and registered while the premises is covered by fully digital CCTV. The Best Bar None regional title that was awarded to us for our attention to safety and social responsibility is a testament to this.

Since starting my Sabbatical role, I have been genuinely impressed on occasions when staff have had to deal with the minority of customers who are violent or abusive, or have simply lost property or are in need of care or medical attention.

As people who continue to visit the bars and nightclub they have enjoyed over the years, the Sabbatical Officers take the issue extremely seriously and I can tell you that the senior staff members here do so too. I have spoken to the Duty Manager from the night in question about the events. The venue sadly had to be closed ten minutes early to ensure the safety of everybody inside. It was clear that there were people inside who were dangers to those around them and people were removed. I sympathise with anybody who feels that they have been mistreated on a night out and must stress that

February is full of birthdays has everybody noticed?

any complaints or appeals can be brought to the attention of myself or the other Union Officers. These incidents are then investigated by an independent licensee before the appropri-

The security arrangements are currently under review and a wide range of options are open to us ate action is taken.

We always strive to ensure that the students for who the Union exists are given the safe and secure environment that they deserve. For this reason the security arrangements are currently under review and a wide range of options are open to us for the coming year. Any decision will be based on what’s best for our students and their venue. If anybody wishes to discuss this or any other matters further, I am more than happy to do so.

Ed Jones Vice President Cardiff University Students’ Union

Valentines Day can be fun Dear gair rhydd, VALENTINE’S DAY... a day when I reckon my chances of getting laid are increased tenfold; as broken hearted girls get trashed and pull the nearest thing to their ex boyfriend!

I’ll get greased up, strap on my lucky belt, lucky boxers and lucky shoes, and buy 3 bottles of Frosty

Feel my pugilistic rage upon your face

I’ve got a brand new combine harvester

Laura and Mark have a fantabulous 21st, xx.

Losers.

What’s that coming over the hill, is it a Panou?

120 pints of Somerset cider vs Andy Cross

Hello, there’s not enough nude stuff in this newspaper

Who shat on my floor last night?

Steggles, was it you? Totally lame : (

text: 07813753762 Please note: new number

Sticking up for Solus

15

Jacks for Ring of Fire.

I have but one philosophical jolt.

Why is it girls appear to feel violated or are judged as being slutty if they have a one night stand? When blokes are liberated, feel good about themselves again, and save up in a conversation to tell all their friends the gory details? For me, there’s nothing more attractive than a girl who ‘moves in her own way’, does what she wants, and ignores all the moral superiority, based on an illusion of correctness, and social constraints. Sex is pleasurable, else why would we be so obsessed with it? So ask yourself girls, why not have it?

And there’s how it effects me. I’m single and loving the varied and exciting relations I have with women in general. But why should it take girls a bottle of vodka to loosen up. I was sitting in the library thinking... this would be an awesome place to fuck... but it closes at 11pm doesn’t it? So basically what I’m saying is, library! Stay open later!

A confused but liberal and strangely elated second year

Eat fruit and veg Dear gair rhydd, FIRST I WANT to congratulate you for your awesome newspaper! I hate nearly all newspapers; yours is the only one I really feel has a lot of informational content and not just dumb propaganda articles to fill empty space.

I just wanted to tell people that if they want to keep fit it is really simple!

I always have been the type of person who could eat loads and not gain weight. But since I became vegetarian one and half years ago, I have trouble gaining weight!

This is simply explained by the fact that eating only vegetables/fruits makes you have a much better digestion and make you go to the toilet more often! If you want to stay thin, just get rid of anything artificial and go back to basic food. If you want a small snack eat fruits, no artificial sh*t.

Cook meals with more vegetables.

Carrots, brocolli, onions, garlic, mushrooms, parsnips, corn, peas, etc. have no fat at all. The only vegetable that has fat is a potato, so don’t eat it everyday.

I guarantee you’ll be more healthy that way, than by eating already prepared meals and using vitamin supplements.

By the way, food in the UK is often given ‘flavouring’. That means they’re just using Aspartame and MSG to make it addictive and make you feel more hungry but such foods have absolutely no nutritional content; just fat and flavourings!

Fabien Broquard, Engineering Student

fourth

year

Internet services are crap Dear gair rhydd, I AM WRITING to you with regards

@

letter of the week

English ignorance Dear gair rhydd, YOUR EDITION of GR (12.2.07) raised two important issues to Welsh Republicans.

I refer to the Ridler's rant against Welsh rugby supporters and Lorna Hull’s article "Parlez vouz anglais?"

Both writers have missed out on the powerful fact that they are living in a foreign nation- Cymru.

In the 1800s most of the people of Cymru spoke Welsh, their native language, until the 1850s when the English parliament effectively criminalised the use of Cymraeg in schools and used punishments that virtually amounted to torture - the infamous Welsh Knot.

Hull must realise that many people that she calls British actually do speak two languages- their own Cymraeg (and Gaelic), as well as Saesneg (English).

This oversight can only be put down to a lack of awareness that Hull has of her host nation of Cymru. Indeed, in a perfect Wales, ethnic Saxons who colonise the Welsh Heartlands would be encourgaged by the use of punitive taxes to learn Cymraeg. It is only due to the generousity of the Welsh that to the standard of our internet service. We moved into a shared house in the Cathays area of Cardiff in September, and as the internet connection would be shared between six of us, we felt that choosing NTL’s 10Mb unlimited broadband package would allow us all to get a decent connection speed even at times of heavy traffic and as such we were prepared to pay the rather large sum of £35 a month for the privilege.

What we have experienced since however, has not even come close to justifying the expenditure, nor lived up to even the most basic quality of service. For the first few months we tolerated the painfully slow speeds, at which downloading a simple 2 or 3Mb file could take up to an hour, and browsing websites was a painfully protracted affair. NTL blamed it on volume of traffic, or problems with our router.

However, by the end of October we began to despair, and we decided to make NTL’s customer service department aware of the problems we were facing in the hope that they could resolve this issue and we could start receiving something near to the service that we were paying so much for.

What actually materialised was a long, protracted and highly expensive telephone call, during which we were bounced from representative to engineer and back again, repeating the same useless tests over and over, ultimately only discovering two things.

Firstly, that even with one computer plugged straight into the modem, our maximum bit rate was only about 150kbps, and on average it was nearer to 100kbps; as the connection we pay for is supposed to be several thousand times quicker than this you will under-

English, the language of the imperialist conquerors and colonisers, is tolerated in our country.

The Ridler suffers from the same lack of understanding. Were he French or Spanish, his rants would not be accepatable in the Basque country or Catalunya. In Wales, against the natives, English imperilaist attitudes are still paramount.

Ridler must realise that his attitude represents the country that has conquered Cymru- the country that tortured and hung our native leaders, that kept their families in dungeons, that insulted and persecuted those who speak their own beloved Welsh, that hides our true history, that destroys our communities through colonisation and the building of dams for exporting water to English cities, that fosters upon us a false English prince.

Welsh Republicans, in solidarity with our Irish cousins, are committed to internationalism and peace.

This can only be achieved when Anglo-centric imperialism is challenged. What better place to start than at the academic heart of the nation's capital?

Christopher Trefor Davies (Former undergrad and now first year Masters student) Chair, Cymru Rydd

stand why we feel aggrieved at the situation.

The second thing we learnt is that this fault was apparently localised, and that their engineering department had been aware of the problem in our area for five or six weeks. They claimed that they were “looking to repair the problem” but that in the meantime we could expect an “intermittent service”.

Astounded by both the uselessness of the customer service, and by the astronomical cost of the hour and a half on the telephone it had required for us to learn these two facts, we gave up trying and, like many other customers we imagine, decided to try and tolerate the stone age internet service in the expectation that the problem would be quickly remedied.

We were wrong. It is now midFebruary, nearly four months since we first raised the issue with NTL And yet, as I sit writing this letter, the connection speeds are no better, if anything they are worse. It often takes three or four attempts to load a webpage; when it does load it often takes several minutes to bring up the most basic site, and downloads creep along at perhaps 1 or 2kbps.

We feel that this service is completely unacceptable. We are paying for the fastest connection speeds available in the UK, and yet we receive one that would have been considered slow even in the age of dial-up. NTL have just rebranded themselves as “Virgin Media” with the promise of improved service all round, focusing on better customer service in particular, so I wanted to warn other students about the sham that is Virgin media and not to get taken in by their new rebranding.

They’re still as crap as NTL so don’t go there.

gairrhydd 17

FEBRUARY.19.2007 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

SCIENCE AND ENVIRONMENT

Cars must go green Europe tells car manufacturers to wake up to global warming Brychan Govier Environment Correspondent

A

s the world’s number one manufacturer of automobiles, the EU is stepping up to the mark to try and bring CO2 emissions down.

A European commission - CARS 21 - recently revealed measures to be taken in the face of global warming, to try and reduce our impact on the planet.

But the European car industry has hit back, regarding the findings and targets set out as arbitrary and too severe.

CARS 21 have recommended that the EU target for CO2 emissions be set at 120 grams of CO2 per kilometre by 2012. This will apply to all cars, whether new on the road or already in usage.

In their findings, they cite possible improvements in engine efficiency, overall car design and usage of newer bio fuels as ways to reduce emissions to these levels.

The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA) says that these steps would be debili-

CARS: Manufacturers must find a way to make vehicles more efficient tating to the European economy, risking 12 million jobs either in or related to the manufacture of automobiles in Europe.

The association - which represents car manufacturers Volvo, Porsche, Volkswagen and FIAT among many others - believe that the commission is focusing too much on improved vehi-

cle technology and designs to cut CO2 emissions.

Instead they believe that there are a wider variety of means by which a more cost-effective plan can be set out to benefit both the economy and the environment.

So far several vehicles have been introduced to the European markets,

and have met with a less than rapturous welcome from the buying public due to over-pricing and difficulties in getting access to any alternative fuel sources they may run on.

A study by the ACEA itself shows that consumers are still looking for larger and safer vehicles to drive, and are less interested in their fuel effi-

ciency as a result.

As with many things in the fight to slow global warming, nothing can really be done until these companies are forced to develop solutions, and then take advantage of these solutions once they are developed. Until then, corporations will keep doing things as they see fit.

South Wales Port takes on WEEE Jenny Edwards Environment Correspondent

T

he Port of Newport is set to install a new recycling facility, following an agreement with its customers Sims Recycling Solutions.

The Port is the latest in a long line of businesses waking up to their corporate responsibility for the environment.

The plant will deal with waste electrical and electronic equipment WEEE - which includes large and small household appliances, from fridges to pots and pans, computers and toys.

This waste makes a huge contribution to pollution, with the UK producing about 330 millions tonnes a year, and households and businesses creating a quarter of this.

The lack of motivation and opportunity for individuals to dispose of this waste means the majority of it ends up in landfill sites. The UK has one of the worst records in Europe for recycling household appliances.

The plant comes after the European Union’s WEEE Directive of January 2007, which deals with this problem, stating that manufacturers must take responsibility for the recycling of

their goods sold to customers.

The Directive means manufacturers must have a crossed out wheelie bin symbol on all appliances and requires all household WEEE to be taken away in a free and convenient manner for the customers.

The Directive also gives targets for the amounts of WEEE taken away every year. With the new plant capable of processing 100,000 tonnes of waste annually, Sims will provide manufacturers with the facilities to do so.

It will make Associated British Ports’s (ABP) Newport centre one of the world’s leading recycling hubs, increasing its recycling facilities to over 36 acres. ABP will invest £2.2 million into the project.

Their Newport Director John Fitzgerald says he is very happy with the plans: “which will contribute to the recycling of some two million tonnes of electrical goods discarded in the UK every year.”

Sims is one of the world’s leading recyclers, offering companies recycling facilities for metal and electronic equipment and its new plant will be operational at the end of the year.

It is a positive sign that industrial companies largely responsible for the waste problem can use their advantageous position to reduce it.

gairrhydd

POLITICS

FEBRUARY.19.2007 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

Focus off fees

E

xactly a year ago this week, the end of university as we know it was announced to the country. Headlines blared with the three percent fall in UCAS applications, as institutions prepared to introduce higher tuition fees of up to £3,000.

Every top-up objector, from the Socialist Students army to our own NUS president, pitched in a sound bite roughly along the lines of “I told you so.”

Indeed, on the face of it they seemed right to do so, as one main line of their argument against the increase in fees had been that it would deter people from going.

And there we had it: the new system had hardly found its feet and was already showing signs that such fears were being realised.

But now, one year on, the page leaders are showing all those fears to be fabrications.

This time around, the number applying to university has risen by 6.4%, as the figures recover from the dip of the previous round.

But this, as with much of the socialist campus agenda, is significantly misguided What the alarmists failed to understand last year was that UCAS was simply experiencing a natural bit of market fluctuation.

A whole two years ago, applications leapt an unprecedented eight percent due to upcoming undergraduates racing to get a place before the higher fees were introduced.

Naturally, this meant that applications one year ago fell as many people who would have applied then in fact

applied the previous year to avoid the oncoming top-ups.

Problem was, this logic had no place in your average tabloid splash or NUS newsletter last February, and seems equally absent today as it was then.

I see over in Opinion that my honourable friend is urging the student masses to get involved in crucial issues such as the fight against further rises in the cost of university.

But this, as with much of the socialist campus agenda, is significantly misguided.

It is a simple economic fact that the revised fee system is, overall, no harder on student wallets than the previous one.

The grants and bursaries on offer have broadened, while nobody has to pay fees up front and repayment only commences once we are earning enough to afford it.

The proposed lifting of the cap from £3,000 upwards is certainly worrying.

But as long as the safety net of financial aid to poorer students remains in tact, then any rise in funding for universities should be welcomed.

The worst case of misinformation from the anti-top-up crusaders has been their argument that students should not have to pay for university education – that this should be the role of the government.

What this suggestion tries to veil is that currently the government still pays for over £17,000 of the average degree.

It would certainly be easy to fall into the trap of retelling every argument for and against top-up tuition.

But, keeping the subject in the now, it is clear that the campaign against a revised fee system is floundering, bearing in mind the failure to stop the original rise and the paltry turnout at more recent student rallies.

Attention should perhaps now be

19

Following last week’s campaign against further top-up increases, Political Editor Andy Rennison suggests that our student focus on fees is in fact misplaced

WRONG: access has not turned out to be denied by fees

turned to interrogating how these extra funds are being used. As with the NHS, the key to a boost in funding for any state-run institution is good management.

Like Higher Education, hospitals have come into extra income in recent years, but due to inherently flawed organisation the money has failed to translate to substantial improvements.

Let’s campaign to ensure our university is spending its finances as efficiently as possible – not on superfluous library doors or pretty patterns for Psychology buildings.

And certainly not on any support for futile societies campaigning against issues long since resolved.

What does Opinion have to say? Turn to page 13

Tory toker

Kochi Jun Political Correspondent

O

ne should always be sceptical about politicians. That is the lesson that we repeatedly learn; who knows if an eminent politician has a skeleton in the cupboard?

The latest revelation that David Cameron had taken drugs as a school boy surprised few. While drug-taking is a grave offence and Cameron has now lost the moral high ground to speak on the subject, no one really cares about the rule-breaking of a curious teenager.

Most of the electorate would have taken the matter merely as routine politicking and backstabbing.

Tebbit's part.

In the 2001 leadership election he implicitly disapproved of Michael Portillo's homosexual past, describing Iain Duncan-Smith as a properly married man (despite the fact that Portillo was also a properly married man).

The events that followed testify that the choice of IDS – backed by eurosceptics – had a damaging effect on the party's ability to win.

Tebbit's comment indicates that the right wing of the party does not make a fuss about personal moral issues; the Thatcherite wing of the party is united behind Cameron's leadership.

This would be an important restraint on the extreme of the Tory right wing, who have been suggesting the possibility of defection to UKIP.

JOINT: are our leaders’ past transgressions really so significant?

visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

The Red Dragon Centre, Cardiff Bay, Hemingway Road CF10 4JY Tel: 02920 256261

Everyone has a personal secret that they wouldn't want to be revealed unless pressed, whether illegal (e.g. drugs) or immoral (e.g. affair). Even John Major had a fling with a down-toearth, unexciting female MP. While some of the personal past should be condemned strongly (exAustrian president being an ex-Nazi SS, for instance), it is too much to expect politicians to be totally scandalfree.

What I found significant at this time is not the revelation itself but the fact that Norman Tebbit announced that he is standing by the Tory leader. This may appear to be a shift in thinking on

Cameron is a politician like any other. He is a party political figure.

Sometimes some of his policies may appear to have come from a party political motive of garnering a maximum number of votes rather than out of a burning conviction.

After all, he is not a saint, but only a member of the British middle-class.

It is a curious fact that the revelation came at a time when the police are out questioning none other than the prime minister, as the cash-for-honours scandal makes its significance clear.

It goes without saying that improprietary while in office is far more serious than the mischief of a schoolboy.

20 gairrhydd

MEDIA

FEBRUARY.19.2007

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Stalking made easy

ever before; banner adverts are easy to ignore by users. However, their inclusion to a user’s news feed might lead many people to unknowingly click on these adverts just as they would a friend’s profile.

Other negative features of social network websites is the diminishing sense of privacy. Unless you change your privacy features anyone can effectively view your photos or comments to other friends. There have been instances in the United States where a profile has been used as evidence for police investigations. Four students at Northern Kentucky University were fined for violating their university’s no alcohol policy; photos posted of a party were used as evidence.

For those who regularly forget friends’ birthdays Facebook allows you to double-check just by viewing their profile. Also, if you lose your phone and consequently your whole phonebook, Facebook makes it simple for you to create a group asking people to post their phone numbers to it.

A great bonus of using a social net-

working website is that they can save you a fortune in phone credit. Most students now own their own laptop and are invariably connected to a broadband connection; however, it can be quite anti-social in that it is easier to leave a friend a Facebook message than walk around the corner to see them in person. On the whole, Facebook acts as a complementary platform to emails and text messages, allowing for it to be increasingly simple to contact course mates, for example.

For the future, Facebook is the younger generation’s Friends Reunited. Without having to pay a hefty fee to find old classmates, you can simply perform an advanced search to find them for free. Other examples of networking websites include Flickr.com (sharing photos) or Last.fm (a social music platform).

These sites offer more specialist features than social networking websites like Facebook; for example, the news feed on Last.fm details recent tracks listened to or a list of your favourite artists.

However, there is potential for an increasing convergence of such websites with the previously mentioned ‘Shares’ feature on Facebook. A person displaying their photos on Flickr.com could effectively post the link to their photo album on a social networking site for friends to view.

Instead of mass media being driven by those in power, the internet has allowed for a growth in websites dedicated to community-driven content.

suggesting that it is in no way a true perspective of teenage life and is simply exaggerated.

Compared to Shameless, which is created by the same producers, the show is said to just pick and choose the parts of reality that serve to be the most entertaining and attractive to the audiences. It is now the case more than ever that if something doesn’t immediately stimulate us, we simply change the channel. Therefore, some argue, why can’t the truth be the over-riding premise of television?

This seems to be the purpose of Skins: if you want truth and realism, the show certainly highlights the extreme pinnacle moments of teenage life but you do need to be prepared, for the moment the show starts, you are rushed into situations that are simply beyond that of any normal A- Level student you have ever met.

Where getting ‘catastrophically spliffed up’ is the norm, and meeting

embarrassing familiar characters such as ‘Mc Hugo’ is about as ‘safe’ as getting touched up by the ‘Mad Twatter’, Bristol’s number one drug dealer in a brothel when you’re all of seventeen years of age. All sounds completely far fetched? Well, it does have its moments but overall Skins really is fun and enjoyable entertainment to watch on a late Thursday evening.

Catch Skins 10pm Thursday on E4 and repeated again on Tuesday at 10pm.

Facebook: the new way to communicate, or the way to stalk your friends?

Jeni Fisher Media Reporter

S

ince the arrival of the internet into people’s homes, the concept of social media has emerged. Essentially it describes the online platforms users use to share experiences and opinions online with other users. One example is a social networking website.

Within the last few years social networking sites are being used by more and more people. Facebook, Bebo and MySpace are just a few of these sites which help users share information, view friends’ activities and reunite friends. A recent survey conducted by Pet Internet & American Life Project estimated that 55% of all online American teenagers use online social networking sites.

Increasing numbers of homes are connected to broadband internet and as such can be linked up to an online environment for most of the day.

Cardiff University has its very own network on Facebook, with thousands

of students regularly keeping their friends up to date on their goings on.

Recently Facebook also opened up their networks to regional users who do not go to university. While increasing your ability to find people you know, it also increases your chances of people that you don’t socialise with being able to view your activities.

With more people than ever going to university, it’s likely that you have old schoolmates or childhood friends dotted all over the country. By simply typing in their name or searching under your home town you’re more likely to come across a friend you lost contact with ages ago. Unlike MSN messenger for example, it is much easier to post a message on a friend’s wall rather than wait for them to come online to have a quick catch up conversation.

What makes Facebook such a potential for shared experience is the new ‘Shares’ feature. This can allow you to post a video from sites such as YouTube or even an interesting article from your favourite blog. With features such as the ‘Share on Facebook’ toolbar you can easily share any web

Entertainment that gets under your skin

Anneka Buckle on E4’s new TV show, Skins

T

en pm Thursday evening: E4 has a released a new show, Skins, which has all the promising qualities that make successful TV. Undoubtedly, this show has had more hype than any other recent TV show in the media.

The adverts alone got audiences hooked with their very cool and edgy take on what appears to be the best house party a student can experience.

Teemed with a theme tune that has already been Radio 1’s song of the week by ‘The Gossip’, it has all the great qualities a show needs to be a complete success. And with 1.4 million tuning in to catch some of the action, Skins really has hit big, making

it the most watched show on E4 ever.

Skins follows the lives and loves of a group of raucous friends, all of them sunny, positive teenagers who love ‘spliff’, pass exams, have sex, undermine their parents and push boundaries like all teenagers can. With such an eclectic cast, its mission is to be as unsqueamish as possible and to give teenagers a realistic view of life, complete with hip slang and exhaustinglooking parties. Overall, what you get with Skins is some serious laugh-outloud moments combined with a very moral and comic celebration of teenage life, with its ups and downs.

The actor Nicholas Hault, a huge selling point for the show, has taken on

page you view by the click of a button.

The global aspect of Facebook is particularly useful if you have friends from abroad – phoning and sending text messages to friends abroad can be costly, whereas leaving a message on Facebook is free. Second year English Literature student Samantha Shillabeer agrees: “since I joined Facebook it’s so much simpler to keep in touch with people, especially those from home who are at different universities. They keep up to date with my goings on, and in turn I keep up to date with theirs”.

Instances in the US where a profile has been used as evidence for police investigations Although membership is free, Facebook has begun to include adverts in the news feed feature. The question is whether Facebook will be used to target consumers more effectively than a nice role transition from the geek we all knew and loved in the Hollywood movie ‘About A Boy’ to Tony, the most ‘good looking’ and popular city kid on Skins. Along with the other melody of personalities the show creates, it really is refreshing to see a bunch of middleclassish, intelligent teens portrayed on television in such a lively and realistic way which is not very far off from real teenage life. For many audiences, the characters are attractive through their humour and interests, not because they all have blonde hair, blue eyes and

You are rushed into situations that are simply beyond that of any normal A-Level student you have ever met low-cut tops like in Hollyoaks and other cheesy daily soaps. It seems rather unusual of British TV to take this angle of honest TV, but by doing so it manages to represent the full spectrum of normal teenage life and through this it can connect to as many people as possible.

Although the eclectic mix of characters is what makes the show so genius, it has already faced criticism

gairrhydd

21

JOBS & MONEY

FEBRUARY.19.2007 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

W

Money, money, money

Lucy Higgins looks at student entrepreneurs and how you can become one

hen was the last time you complained about how much your textbooks cost, or had to stay in because you couldn’t afford another night in the pub? Well, instead of getting a job in a pub earning five pounds an hour, why not embrace the entrepreneur in you, and find a more

graduated in 2005 with not only a BA in Business Studies with Finance, but also a successful business. Finding it hard to survive on a student loan, his money-making ideas began at the end of his second year, and by his graduation, Thomas had set up a business importing and selling children’s quad bikes from China.

original way of making big money?

More and more students are choosing innovative ways of tackling their money issues. Last year, 21-year-old student, Alex Tew from Wiltshire, decided to confront his money worries by making $1 million dollars before he began his business management degree at Nottingham University. He created a website, www.milliondollarhomepage.com selling a million pixels of advertising space at $1 each and, after four months, has almost reached his target figure, becoming a millionaire in the process. So, how did he come up with the idea?

“Although I've done many different jobs in the past, it's not really how my brain likes to work. My natural disposition is to think of ideas, and I like to create interesting things and ways of doing things. Plus this is much more fun to do, with a potential higher reward” says Tew, on his website.

In fact, the venture was so successful, that he now plans to not only launch a second website, but also “Something that could be really big.

Much bigger than the Million Dollar Homepage”. He is keeping the details on this new project frustratingly secret, but with his entrepreneurial mind, you can be assured that it’ll earn him more than your average wage slip.

UWIC student, Rhydian Thomas

The wonders of the internet make it easier to start up a buisness, especially for students However, you don’t necessarily have to be a business-savvy entrepreneur to make a few extra quid. There are easier ways to make money, which don’t involve getting a job or having a vast amount of business knowledge.

The wonders of the internet make it easier to start up a business, especially for students. It can allow students the freedom and independence to set up a shop, company, or advertising, without any of the overheads. Tew, for example, bought his web domain for £50 as soon as he thought of the idea, and incurred no other costs.

Ebay and other internet auction sites are also becoming a more popular way to make money without leaving the house. James Doyle, a photography student at Swansea Institute, began

buying vintage designer watches on Ebay, and selling them to make a sizeable profit.

“It’s an easy way for me to get a bit of extra income. My course doesn’t leave me with much spare time, so I needed something that I didn’t have to be too committed to. This way, if I’m too busy I can forget about it until I have the time to do some more buying and selling.”

If you are considering starting up your own business, make sure you seek advice first, especially if you have to invest a large amount of money to begin with. “You'll need passion, determination and independence to succeed in going it alone” says Lorna Collins, director of the National Council for Graduate Entrepreneurship's (NCGE) Flying Start Campaign. The Campaign has been established to try and encourage and assist more students and graduates, after it was revealed that 35% of USA graduates start a business straight from university, with only nine per cent doing the same over here.

If you do want to start your own business, or already have an innovative money-making proposal, make sure you spend enough time researching. www.businesslink.gov.uk is a helpful website for small businesses, and www.startups.co.uk will, as the name suggests, guide you though everything you need to know about starting up, including the relevant insurance, tax, and finance details. NCGE’s website, www.flyingstart-ncge.com provides resources for those with an idea for setting up their own business, giving not only expert advice, but also information regarding mentors, other entrepreneurs, and funding.

Hard work pays off

jobshop

Jobs & Money Editor, Gillian Roberts discusses the worth of having a degree

Please contact us on 029 2078 1535 or pop in to the Jobshop on the ground floor of the Students’ Union. Opening hours 10am-4pm Monday-Friday.

S

tudents this week may feel a littler happier after forking out thousands of pounds for tuition fees and managing a mountain of debt. It has been reported that over a working lifetime graduates can expect to earn £160,000 more than their A-Level school leaver counterpart.

According to a report by Universities UK, the vice-chancellors’ umbrella body, benefits are reaching graduates as they get older as well as a degree helping students to raise their incomes considerably.

It was reported that, depending on the subject, the lifetime average graduate premium can rise to £340,315 for medicine, £243,730 in engineering, yet fall to £51,549 for humanities and £34,494 for arts. The graduate premium being the financial benefit of a degree.

The organisers president, Professor Drummond Bone said: “This report also highlights the economic benefits of higher education of our wider society.”

It is not unknown for students to assume that by obtaining a degree, a well-paid job is more accessible. Bill

Rammell, the Higher Education Minister, said: “It confirms what we have been saying for some time now - that graduates, on average, earn more and are more likely to be in a job than those without degrees, and that higher education is likely to be the best investment a student will ever make.”

He continues to add, “After tax, and compared to those with the equivalent of two A-levels, graduates earn, on average over their lifetime, comfortably over £100,000 more when put in today’s valuation.”

“And when you add in the tax benefits, this increases to around £160,000.”

The chief executive of Universities UK, Diana Warwick, said: “This report provides evidence that despite the expansion of higher education, the graduate premium has been maintained. Higher education is still clearly a worthwhile investment for the individual.”

This report provides students some relief after Jobs & Money reported last year that it had been said that students leaving school with just A-Levels were possibly obtaining a starting salary of around

Higher education is still clearly a worthwhile investment £12,500. Research from 2003 by the Association of Graduate Recruiters (AGR) also indicated that there were 3.4 percent fewer graduate vacancies than the year before. A figure that worries students who, in the summer, are going to enter into employment.

Yet, the recent report lets students feel that their tuition fees are more of an investment for the future as graduates could possibly be £160,000 richer than their school leaver peers.

WANT TO EARN SOME EXTRA CASH? Are you free from 9am-5pm on at least 2/3 days next week (26/02-02/03) to deliver leaflets to local schools?

Contact the Jobshop on 02920 781535 or come and see us (Mon-Fri 9am5pm, ground floor, SU building). £5.35 per hour, plus mileage allowance.

gairrhydd 23

TELEVISION

FEBRUARY.19.2007 TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

This Week’s Davids Amongst The Charlies: February 19-25

Pervy Platt’s Coronation Treat David says he’ll get Tracy out of the Dock, if she gets out his Co...

HOT

Emoticons: Spending an unhealthy amount of time slumped in a lazy boy chair and surfing the internet (I say ‘surfing’, I mean ‘clicking refresh on the same three pages), MSN is a happy place.

And being able to express my feelings in morphing punctuation is most welcome.

Soaps Well, doesn’t everything just pale in comparison to Corrie? Yes, completely, but I’ll try my worst...So, Hollyoaks this week sees Becka still dead and they’re giving her the whole cliched treatment of a ‘funeral’. Mandy turns up again.

Seemingly a little less mental and has a shocking piece of news for Tony, apparently. It probably isn’t that she’s joined Doctors.

Elsewhere, Eastenders has Stacey declaring her love for ginger baldy Max, except he’s having none of it.

Well, not more than he’s been having of it (her) for the past month or so. Denise announces she wants to leave Walford, which is fine by me ‘cause I’m bored of her character anyway, but I did quite like the fact that her daughter really cannot speak very well. I really need to get out of this place.

C

oronation Street continues to be far and away the best British soap this week and this is still pretty much singlehandedly down to Tracy Barlow.

In her time she’s had some pretty low moments. I mean, killing her boyfriend through the medium of the shittest ever lap dance, an Oasis album and a conveniently located statuette was probably nearly enough to make her forget that once upon a time she pretty much raped Roy Cropper. But alas, she now needs something to make her forget about the fact she is a murderer and, natch, the only option seems to be...to have sex with a GCSE student. It’s what I would have suggested myself to be honest.

So, this week I guess her supply of loose change and dead man’s car accessories must be running low as chief alibi David’s story is becoming a little messy. Just like his freshly laundered underwear.

The little fiend. Tracy realises that David’s gonna want a little more ‘frendliness’ if he’s to get her off the hook. And basically she’s gonna have to put out to get out (of trouble).

And to think I was longing for second base when I was his age.

Kids these days eh? In fact, it’s quite difficult to tell whether he’s more excited in the top right picture up there as he celebrates scoring with Barlow, or in that one just

Fudge Tunnel 96

NOT

Fearne Cotton: I’m sorry, but if she’s not the most hateful person on TV, then you surely must subscribe to the “Even More Hateful Than Fearne Cotton” channel. Her arse licking of awful bands at the Brits really was the pits. Even lower than when she wore a BRMC tee while intervewing Busted.

here as he celebrates scoring his extraordinary swivelled volley against Belgium in the last minute of the first knockout round of Italia 90.

Speaking exclusively to TV Desk, the kid that plays David, Jack P Shepherd (ponce), had this to say: “No matter what he does, there always seems to be a step further that he can go...You could say it’s because he’s had a troubled life. Or he might just be extremely twisted.” Now I dunno about you, but for me this can be hinting at just one thing...threesome with Blanche. You read it here first remember.

I mean, look at her, she’s filthy.

Clearly.

Film The English Patient (Tuesday, Film4, 9.15pm - 12.45am) Oscar winning...Anthony Minghella...glorious images...acute sense of world in crisis...intimacy of great romance...Ralph Fiennes...badly burned...World War Two...affair ...Kristin Scott Thomas. There may be some gaps in there, but that’s the gist.

Sport This week is brilliant for football, and basically that’s all the sport you need isn’t it? Yes it is, you brute. The big three (circa 1997) Manchester United, Liverpool and Newcastle United are all in action across the channels this week as the first knockout rounds of both the UEFA Cup and UEFA Champions League get well and truly under way.

Crisps God, you know I’m not interested in this. So I present to you, courtesy of TV John (RIP), some musings on crisps: McCoys are such a man’s crisp. They're so drenched in testosterone they're presumably only three flavours away from gigantic ejaculating lumberjacks’s penis flavour, which is what the world needs in a crisp. Walkers are like the Davina McCall, they started off on a very plain Jane standard flavour affair, but have since monopolised their way right across the crisp channels and unveiled takeover after takeover until their desecration of the majority of Smiths stock was a let-down on the level of Davina’s self-congratulatry and honking great failure of a personalised chat show. They're nice and safe and

More Crisps

reliable, but nobody ever stops to think about why they want them in their face. McCoys are a beautiful experience akin to when Meat Loaf appears as a pundit or interviewee on Parkinson and spews a deluge

of transamerican nonsense.

They're the sort of crisp Bruce Springsteen would write a song about if they were on the breadline in a south Michigan factory.

They're so boisterous, allAmerican and downright "hurrrrgh!" You not only feel an enormous amount of wrongness for every shard of crinkle you shovel down your throat, but they're so irritatingly tasty that you cram them into your gullet so fast you could easily accidentally swallow your membership to the liposuction club of South Wales if someone had carefully placed it treacherously on the pub table.

I’m sorry for doing this to you, but really, I’m past caring. Thanks for your support.

24 gairrhydd

MONDAY

FEBRUARY.19.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

A New Year at Kew

Prison Break

C4 9.00pm

Bad Mother’s Handbook ITV1 9.00pm

BBC2 7.00pm

five 10.00pm

Bill and his best friend Corky five 7.30am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Gene Detectives Barbara (she's not racist but..) has a test done on her genetics and finds she has black relatives, she then sees the error in her ways and stops buying the Express..Hoorah!

11:00am Living in the Sun 11:45am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Time Warp Trio 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm Best of Friends 5:00pm MI High 5:30pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today 7:00pm Mission Africa 7:30pm My Family 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Panorama 9:00pm Waking the Dead 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Sleep Clinic TV Karl told me that if you are finding it hard to sleep do not stay in bed lying awake for more than 20 minutes, get up and do some recommended reading, that'll send you right off. True story 11:05pm Film 2007 with Jonathan Ross Wossie reads an autocue, this proves how deserving he is of £18m of our money 11:35pm The Royle Family 12:05am Something Wild 2:00am Sign Zone:Louis Theroux: Gambling in Las Vegas 3:00am Sign Zone:The Truth About Food 4:00am Sign Zone:Wanted

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Numberjacks 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Underground Ernie 8:00am CBBC:Wonderful World of Weird 8:50am Newsround 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am Top Cat 11:25am The Munsters 11:50am Dangermouse 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Animal Park 1:30pm Live FA Cup Sixth Round Draw 1:45pm Hands on Nature 2:15pm Perfect Strangers 2:45pm Escape to the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Nature's Calendar 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm A New Year at Kew 7:30pm Nation on Film: Package Holidays 8:00pm University Challenge 8:30pm An Island Parish 9:00pm Five Ways to Save the World 1. Walk/Cycle/Take a train, if you do have to buy petrol go to BP since they're well green 2. Vote Green or for David Cameron, it's the same thing these days 3. Recycle 4. Buy a U2 record, or Klaxons..better yet join Global Cool 5. Buy Innocent Smoothies 10:00pm Mock the Week 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Coming To Your Screen: DIY TV 11:50pm 21st Century Bach 12:10am Cosi 1:45am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:Real

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women After watching this I always feel so shit about myself, me and all men are shits 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Emmerdale Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's Supermarket Sweep 6:00pm Wales Tonight Drizzle, Sheep, Drizzle, Sheep, The Stereophonics, Drizzle, Tidy, Sheep, Tom Jones, Sheep etc 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm The Bad Mother's Handbook 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Karaoke Queen 12:00am Tonight 12:30am WAGs Boutique ITV might have done it, they might have found the formula for the ultimate Trash TV. They take this accolade on the assumption that there is racism, lots and lots of fake boobs, an exploitation of someone with a disability, and a nude Keith Chegwin as the presenter.

Come on ITV don't fail me now!

1:30am Champions League Weekly 2:00am ITV Play: Glitterball 3:50am Dial A Mum I wonder if this is dirty?

4:25am Dial A Mum It's probably dirty 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Will and Grace 9:55am Kiki's Delivery Service Watch this! It's Studio Ghibli who in case you didn't know were behind the modern classics Howl's Moving Castle and Spirited Away. Anime is cool (to pretend) to like, honest. 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Whirlpool 2:15pm British Made 2:25pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Deutche Borse Photography Prize 2007 8:00pm Dispatches: The Supermarket That's Eating Britain 9:00pm Hypochondriacs: I Told You I Was Ill 10:00pm ER 11:05pm The Sex Inspectors 11:55pm 4 Music:Live from Abbey Road 12:55am When Kim and Aggie Went to Hospital 1:55am The Insider: Kidneys For Sale Attention all you guys about to finish your overdraft..this is must-watch TV 2:20am Dispatches: The Supermarket That's Eating Britain 3:10am Cutting Edge: Gridlock 4:10am Toulouse Lautrec: The Full Story I'll save you some precious time, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (November 24, 1864 â?? September 9, 1901) was a French painter, printmaker, draftsman, and illustrator, whose immersion in the decadent(cont........

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots The latest government output on the dangers of experimenting with pills. This public information broadcast is aimed at the under 6 demographic, any of you who have been to a primary school or read The Daily Mail recently will know just why 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas 8:35am Sailor Sid 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:30pm Columbo: Identity Crisis 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Mary Higgins Clark's Pretend You Don't See Her 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm Monster Moves 9:00pm Extraordinary People: The Twins who Share a Body Why not just call them siamese twins? The mind boggles. 10:00pm Prison Break 11:00pm The World's Most Shocking Ads 12:05am Arrest and Trial 12:35am Arrest and Trial 1:00am USPGA Golf 1:50am NASCAR Nextel Cup 2:40am Le Championnat - French Football 3:30am Now Is the Time: Night of Combat - Kick Boxing 4:20am

7:00pm Dog Borstal Jade returns to our screens? No, that's harsh, perhaps true, but harsh none the less 8:00pm The Baby Borrowers: Friends and Family 8:30pm Thieves Like Us 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm Comedy Specials: Green 10:00pm EastEnders Because East London is a vampire, it sucks the joy right out of me!!

10:30pm SuperSlim Me: A Mischief Special 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Comedy Specials: Green Only like the funniest colour 1:00am Thieves Like Us 1:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:30am SuperSlim Me: A Mischief Special 3:30am The Baby Borrowers: Friends and Family and theatrical life of fin de siecle Paris yielded an oeuvre of provocative images of modern life.

7:00pm Tom Harrisson: The Barefoot Anthropologist Bet you he gets a splinter! 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Living with the Future Wife Swap meets 2001: A Space Odyssey 9:00pm The Great British Holiday 10:00pm Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 10:30pm Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy 11:20pm Peter Scott: A Passion for Nature 12:20am The Great British Holiday 1:20am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 1:50am Living with the Future 2:20am Peter Scott: A Passion for Nature 3:20am The Great British Holiday I can't really tell you much about BBC4, it's way too highbrow for me. I can only imagine that 'The Great British Holiday' is some post-structuralist neo-trotskyist self-referential analysis of some arsey bloke from Islington's ingrowing toe nail. It's not my place, I know my place, T4 is my place. June Sarpong makes me feel good about myself.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am Emmerdale 10:50am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:35am Judge Judy 12:00pm Coronation Street 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Movies Now 7:15pm Dancing on Ice 8:30pm Dancing on Ice - the Skate Off 9:00pm Haunted Homes 10:00pm The Last Boy Scout 12:00am Coronation Street 12:30am Coronation Street

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Beyonce's Beef 8:00am Shipwrecked Sounds: Girls v Boys 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Deserted Island Discs 11:00am Fresh Tracks 12:00pm Nothing but... Pecs on the Beach 1:00pm Beyonce's Beef 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Trading Places 11:10pm The Simple Life 11:40pm The Simple Life 12:05am Scrubs 12:35am Scrubs 1:05am The War at Home 1:35am Trading Places 3:35am Desperate Housewives 4:20am Switched 4:40am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:25am Switched

8:00am Planed Plant Bach:Dennis a Dannedd 8:40am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00am Kind Hearts and Coronets 11:55am 3 Minute Wonder 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Dwdlam 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Mr Men 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Ribidires 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Losing Myself 1:20pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 4:25pm Planed Plant:Rygbi 100 Per Cent 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Ffermio 9:00pm Helpu'r Achos 10:00pm Sgorio 11:05pm Y Clwb Rygbi 11:35pm Hypochondriacs: I Told You I Was Ill 12:35am Dispatches: The

Hypochondriacs

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gairrhydd

25

TUESDAY

FEBRUARY.19.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Life on Mars

Masterchef Goes Large

BBC1 9.00pm

BBC2 6.30pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Gene Detectives 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am Living in the Sun 11:45am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Time Warp Trio 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm Best of Friends 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2007 7:30pm X-Ray 8:00pm Seaside Rescue 9:00pm New Street Law Anybody caught littering Cardiff’s streets with a lovely fresh copy of this week’s gair rhydd will be prosecuted. A little bit of me dies inside every time I see a discarded copy of the Guardian’s favourite student publication.

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:40pm Wales: Power and the People 11:10pm The 34 Stone Teenager What I’d like to know is when these people get to say, 25 stone, do they not start to think that maybe they’re eating too much?

12:10am The One and Only 1:40am Sign Zone:Wild Caribbean 2:30am Sign Zone:The Madness of Modern Families 3:00am Sign Zone:Wanted Down Under 3:45am Joins BBC News

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:40am Balamory 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Numberjacks 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Underground Ernie 8:00am CBBC:Wonderful World of Weird 8:50am Newsround 8:55am Beat the Boss 9:20am Lizzie McGuire 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am Iolo's Special Reserves 11:30am The Daily Politics 1:00pm Lifeline 1:10pm The Flying Gardener 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Small Town Gardens 2:15pm Perfect Strangers 2:45pm Escape to the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Nature's Calendar 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm Top Gear 8:00pm Dragons' Den 9:00pm Party Animals 9:50pm Don't Watch That Watch This!

10:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm My Family and Autism 12:20am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Key Stage 3 Bitesize Revision English 1 4:00am Key Stage 3 Bitesize Revision Maths I’m really ill today so the task of providing you with any useful information seems rather daunting, Instead, I’ll just complain for a little bit. So, not only am I writing this with a splitting headache but my throat feels like it’s on fire, all my friends are at Clwb Ifor Bach having a fun time, and it’s Valentine’s day and I’m sitting here alone writing this bollocks...

... Oh well, at least I’m not feeling sorry for myself. 6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women Obviously ITV are trying to cram in as many annoying presenters as possible into one morning’s television. Kicking off with Lorraine Kelly who’s voice alone could be used as an effective torture device, we are then bombarded with Jeremy ‘up his own arse’ Kyle and Phillip ‘will send you to sleep’ Schofield, before being well and truly finished off by a whole panel of menopause stricken excelebrities complaining about how they’re no longer famous and it’s the fault of some bloke or other. There can honestly be no worse way to start off your day than this. 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Emmerdale Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's Supermarket Sweep 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm Troy 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Troy 12:30am Benidorm 12:55am ITV Play: Glitterball 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:05am Making It 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Will and Grace 9:55am Will and Grace 10:20am The Brave Little Toaster Children’s television has never been so strong. With programmes like these I’m not surprised kids turn to wrestling. 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Fanny by Gaslight No, I’m actually not going to go there.

This is a classy section. 2:30pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Deutche Borse Photography Prize 2007 8:00pm Relocation, Relocation 9:00pm Jamie's Chef 10:00pm Desperate Housewives 11:05pm The Sex Inspectors 11:55pm Goalissimo! 12:55am Bauhaus World Bobsleigh Championships 2007 Save yourself the disappointment and watch Cool Runnings instead. What a film. (Hell yes, feel da rhydmm, feel da rhyme, get ready cuz it’s bobsleigh time’ Beautiful film, makes me cry every time - TV Jane x)1:55am KOTV 2:25am Trans World Sport 3:20am Red Bull Air Race 2006 4:10am Scrapheap Challenge USA 5:10am Supporting Acts. 5:25am Countdown

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:35am Sailor Sid 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao A touching documentary featuring a group of dyslexic kittens snubbed by their parents. 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Race against Time 3:40pm Columbo: Sex and the Married Detective 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Great Ocean Adventures: The White Whale The White Whale is fascinating and all, but if you want a truly great ocean adventure then Baywatch is surely your only option. Some say the whale is the most beautiful and interesting creature on the planet, but like most things next to Hasselhoff it only seems puny and insignificant.

8:00pm Child in a Million 9:00pm Message in a Bottle 11:30pm Arrest and Trial 12:00am PartyPoker.com European Open III 1:30am NHL Ice Hockey 4:00am Football Argentina 5:30am Motorsport Mundial

7:00pm New Dog Borstal 8:00pm New Wedding Stories 9:00pm Freaky Eaters 10:00pm Crimson Tide This brings some horrible images to mind...i bet it didn’t for you...until now hehe.

11:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:50am Freaky Eaters Eaters who eat freaks. Tasty freaks with different marinades and dressings.

Frrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaakkkkkkky yyyyyyyyyyyyy. That took up space.1:45am New Dog Borstal 2:45am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Eight pints of lager and this program is still shit. Seriously, the BBC has run some good comedies over the years, do we really need an entire channel dedicated to highlighting its failures. It’s a bit like if ITV created a new channel featuring only clips of Kilroy and Ron Atkinson, just to show how racist they are.

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Cooking in the Danger Zone If there’s going to be any kind of real danger involved can I suggest Ainsley Harriet takes part? 9:00pm Medical Mavericks 10:00pm More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 10:30pm So Much So Fast: Storyville 12:00am Medical Mavericks 1:00am Cooking in the Danger Zone 1:30am Mortgaged to the Yanks 2:30am More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 3:00am Medical Mavericks It seems the only thing that writing these listings has proved is that a) I don’t like much TV and b) I hate quite a lot of people.

So, to be more optimistic here is a short list of people on TV who I do like: 1) Noel Edmonds 2) Simon Amstell 3) Dylan Moran 4) Stephen Fry 5) Steve Coogan 6) Zane Lowe 7) Mark Lamar (It is indeed quite a shock fellow TV desk person, I know TV janexx)

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Smallville 8:00pm Australian Princess 9:00pm Al Murray's Happy Hour 10:00pm Coronation Street 10:30pm Unbreakable 12:35am Comedy Cuts 1:05am ITV Play: The Mint 4:00am Teleshopping

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am The Feeling Get Touchy 8:00am Shipwrecked Sounds: Girls v Boys 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Deserted Island Discs 11:00am Fresh Stuff 12:00pm Nothing but... Sunny Jims 1:00pm The Feeling Get Touchy 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ugly Betty 10:00pm High School Dance 11:00pm Desperate Housewives 12:00am Scrubs 12:30am Scrubs 12:55am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 1:50am One Tree Hill 2:35am High School Dance 3:35am Desperate Housewives 4:15am Switched 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched 5:20am Switched

8:00am Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 8:40am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Frasier 9:55am King of the Hill 10:25am Brief Encounter 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Dwdlam 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Caio 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Bobinogi 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Losing Myself 1:20pm You Are What You Eat: Gillian Moves In 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Tair Slic 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.005.00):Stwffio 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Byd o Liw 9:00pm Caerdydd 10:00pm Relocation, Relocation 11:00pm Desperate Housewives 11:55pm 10 Years Younger 12:50am Let the Music Play: The Barry White Story 1:45am 4Music

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The Ferret ITV1 7.30pm

Never Did Me Any Harm C4 9.00pm

Out of Practice five 7.15pm

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WEDNESDAY

Seaside Rescue

Something Special

BBC1 8.00pm

BBC2 7.00am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Gene Detectives 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am Living in the Sun 11:45am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Time Warp Trio 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm Best of Friends 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Holiday 2007 7:30pm X-Ray 8:00pm Seaside Rescue 9:00pm New Street Law Anybody caught littering Cardiff streets with a lovely fresh copy of this week’s gair rhydd will be prosecuted. A little bit of me dies inside every time I see a discarded copy of the Guardian’s favourite student publication.

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:40pm Wales: Power and the People 11:10pm The 34 Stone Teenager What I’d like to know is when these people get to say, 25 stone, do they not start to think that maybe they’re eating too much?

12:10am The One and Only 1:40am Sign Zone:Wild Caribbean 2:30am Sign Zone:The Madness of Modern Families 3:00am Sign Zone:Wanted Down Under 3:45am Joins BBC News

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:40am Balamory 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Numberjacks 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Underground Ernie 8:00am CBBC:Wonderful World of Weird 8:50am Newsround 8:55am Beat the Boss 9:20am Lizzie McGuire 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am Iolo's Special Reserves 11:30am The Daily Politics 1:00pm Lifeline 1:10pm The Flying Gardener 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Small Town Gardens 2:15pm Perfect Strangers 2:45pm Escape to the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link 6:00pm Nature's Calendar 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm Top Gear 8:00pm Dragons' Den 9:00pm Party Animals 9:50pm Don't Watch That Watch This!

10:00pm Never Mind the Buzzcocks 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm My Family and Autism 12:20am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Key Stage 3 Bitesize Revision English 1 4:00am Key Stage 3 Bitesize Revision Maths I’m really ill today so the task of providing you with any useful information seems rather daunting, Instead, I’ll just complain for a little bit. So, not only am I writing this with a splitting headache but my throat feels like it’s on fire, all my friends are at Clwb Ifor Bach having a fun time, and it’s valentines day and I’m sitting here alone writing this bollocks...

7:00pm New Dog Borstal 8:00pm New Wedding Stories 9:00pm Freaky Eaters 10:00pm Crimson Tide this brings some horrible images to mind...I bet it didn’t for you...until now hehe.

11:50pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:50am Freaky Eaters Eaters who eat freaks. Tasty freaks with different marinades and dressings.

Frrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaakkkkkkky yyyyyyyyyyyyy. That took up space.1:45am New Dog Borstal 2:45am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Eight pints of lager and this program is still shit. Seriously, the BBC has run some good comedies over the years, do we really need an entire channel dedicated to highlighting its failures. It’s a bit like if ITV created a new channel featuring only clips of Kilroy and Ron Atkinson, just to show how racist they are.

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Cooking in the Danger Zone If there’s going to be any kind of real danger involved can I suggest Ainsley Harriet takes part? 9:00pm Medical Mavericks 10:00pm More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 10:30pm So Much So Fast: Storyville 12:00am Medical Mavericks 1:00am Cooking in the Danger Zone 1:30am Mortgaged to the Yanks 2:30am More Dawn French's Girls Who Do: Comedy 3:00am Medical Mavericks It seems the only thing that writing these listings has proved is that a) I don’t like much TV and b) I hate quite a lot of people.

So, to be more optimistic here is a short list of people on TV who I do like; 1) Noel Edmonds 2) Simon Amstell 3) Dylan Moran 4) Stephen Fry 5) Steve Coogan 6) Zane Lowe 7) Mark Lamar (It is indeed quite a shock fellow TV desk person, I know TV janexx)

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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Making It

A Place In The Sun

The White Whale

C4 6.05am

C4 2.30pm

five 7.15pm

.....Oh well, at least I’m not feeling sorry for myself.

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women Obviously ITV are trying to cram in as many annoying presenters as possible into one morning’s television. Kicking off with Lorraine Kelly who’s voice alone could be used as an effective torture device, we are then bombarded with Jeremy â??up his own arse’ Kyle and Phillip â??will send you to sleep’ Schofield, before being well and truly finished off by a whole panel of menopausal ex-celebrities complaining about how they’re no longer famous and it’s the fault of some bloke or other. There can honestly be no worse way to start off your day than this.

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Emmerdale Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's Supermarket Sweep 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm Troy 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Troy 12:30am Benidorm 12:55am ITV Play: Glitterball 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:05am Making It 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:25am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Will and Grace 9:55am Will and Grace 10:20am The Brave Little Toaster Children’s television has never been so strong. With programmes like these I’m not surprised kids turn to wrestling. 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Fanny by Gaslight No, I’m actually not going to go there.

This is a classy section. 2:30pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Deutche Borse Photography Prize 2007 8:00pm Relocation, Relocation 9:00pm Jamie's Chef 10:00pm Desperate Housewives 11:05pm The Sex Inspectors 11:55pm Goalissimo! 12:55am Bauhaus World Bobsleigh Championships 2007 Save yourself the disappointment and watch Cool Runnings instead. What a film. (Hell yes, feel da rhydmm, feel da rhyme, get ready cuz it’s bobsleigh time’ Beautiful film, makes me cry every time - TV Jane x) 1:55am KOTV 2:25am Trans World Sport 3:20am Red Bull Air Race 2006 4:10am Scrapheap Challenge USA 5:10am Supporting Acts. 5:25am Countdown

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:35am Sailor Sid 8:40am Roobarb and Custard Too 8:50am Mio Mao A touching documentary featuring a group of dyslexic kittens snubbed by their parents. 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm Race against Time 3:40pm Columbo: Sex and the Married Detective 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Great Ocean Adventures: The White Whale The White Whale is fascinating and all, but if you want a truly great ocean adventure then Baywatch is surely your only option. Some say the whale is the most beautiful and interesting creature on the planet, but like most things next to Hasselhoff it only seems puny and insignificant.

8:00pm Child in a Million 9:00pm Message in a Bottle 11:30pm Arrest and Trial 12:00am PartyPoker.com European Open III 1:30am NHL Ice Hockey 4:00am Football Argentina 5:30am Motorsport Mundial

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Smallville 8:00pm Australian Princess 9:00pm Al Murray's Happy Hour 10:00pm Coronation Street 10:30pm Unbreakable 12:35am Comedy Cuts 1:05am ITV Play: The Mint 4:00am Teleshopping

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am The Feeling Get Touchy 8:00am Shipwrecked Sounds: Girls v Boys 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Deserted Island Discs 11:00am Fresh Stuff 12:00pm Nothing but... Sunny Jims 1:00pm The Feeling Get Touchy 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ugly Betty 10:00pm High School Dance 11:00pm Desperate Housewives 12:00am Scrubs 12:30am Scrubs 12:55am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 1:50am One Tree Hill 2:35am High School Dance 3:35am Desperate Housewives 4:15am Switched 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched 5:20am Switched

8:00am Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 8:40am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Frasier 9:55am King of the Hill 10:25am Brief Encounter 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Dwdlam 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Caio 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Bobinogi 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Losing Myself 1:20pm You Are What You Eat: Gillian Moves In 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Tair Slic 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.005.00):Stwffio 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Byd o Liw 9:00pm Caerdydd 10:00pm Relocation, Relocation 11:00pm Desperate Housewives 11:55pm 10 Years Younger 12:50am Let the Music Play: The Barry White Story 1:45am 4Music

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THURSDAY

FEBRUARY.19.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Masterchef Goes Large BBC2 6.30pm

Dead ringers

Something Special

Wales Tonight

BBC2 9.30pm

BBC2 7.00am

ITV1 6.00pm

6:00am Breakfast In bed please with eggs sunny side up. Why do Americans say that? Obviously, I know why they say it but it's just so cringy.. 9:15am Gene Detectives 10:00am Homes under the Hammer It's metaphorical, not literal. 11:00am Living in the Sun I11:45am Car Booty Big Momma waits for you inside. 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather>1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors I love this show. Ronnie and Georgie's marriage on the rocks it seems. Oh, the tame and unrealistic storylines and the unbelievably generous time given to patients makes it so worthwhile. 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision To me, to you, to me...to you. 3:40pm Time Warp 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm SMart 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm >Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Street Doctor 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Waterloo Road Many parents love this show for some reason. A rather boring but factual statement nevertheless.

9:00pm Hotel Babylon Does David Gray stay there? That's what I want to know 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; >Weather 10:35pm Dragon's Eye 11:05pm Question Time 12:05am This Week 12:55am Sign Zone

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:40am Balamory 7:00am Something Special 7:15am Numberjacks 7:30am Boogie Beebies 7:45am Underground Ernie 8:00am CBBC:Wonderful World of Weird 8:50am Newsround 8:55am Beat the Boss 9:20am Lizzie McGuire 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am Top Cat 11:25am The Munsters 11:50am Dangermouse 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Animal Park 1:45pm Hands on Nature 2:15pm Perfect Strangers 2:45pm Escape to the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm Weakest Link I can't believe this is still on and she is still winking and being a pantovillain.

6:00pm Nature's Calendar 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm Dr Alice Roberts: Don't Die Young 7:30pm Border Country with Iolo Williams 8:00pm Did They Pay Off Their Mortgage in Two Years?

9:00pm Fear, Stress and Anger 9:30pm Dead Ringers 10:00pm The Graham Norton Show 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm BBC Four on BBC Two:Time Shift: Planet Ping Pong 12:20am Journeys to the Bottom of the Sea 1:20am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Schools:Key Stage 3 Bitesize Revision: Science 1 4:00am Class

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today It's known as the 'snakepit' among insiders of the industry. You have been warned. 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show Can this man shout anymore than he does? He should be on that advert for Cillit Bang. Apparently they want to give that man a chat show too. So Mama told me.10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Emmerdale Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's Supermarket Sweep 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Great Welsh Roads 8:00pm The Bill 9:00pm Bonkers 1 0:00pm Benidorm This is on at the moment as I type and without sounding too snobby, it does turn my stomach so. God, 10 minutes of dialogue was spent discussing bacon fat stuck in this woman's teeth. Not at all bon gout at the french would say. No, that doesn't make me posh because I know a bit of french. It makes me desperate.10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Call Up 11:30pm Waterfront 12:00am Unsigned 12:30am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am Make Me Perfect 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Will and Grace 9:55am Will and Grace 10:20am My Neighbour Totoro 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm The Left Hand of God 2:05pm Proud Parents 2:15pm Proud Parents: Paul Rankin 2:30pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown I still can't believe Richard Whitely passed away. It was such a shock. Since then, the callibre of presenters has gone right down the drain. And that Susie in the dictionary corner is still as smug as ever. She wouldn't be if her dictionary was taken away or fell right on her head, squashing all knowledge out of her head. I'm more of a lexophile than she is. Bet she didn't get the countdown dvd game for christmas comme moi. No, I didn't think so.4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Deutche Borse Photography Prize 2007 8:00pm 10 Years Younger Oh, my Mum and I find that South African woman horrendous on this programme.

9:00pm Once Upon a Time in Iran 10:30pm Wild Things 12:30am Safe 2:45am Cutting Edge: Cult Killer 3:45am First Person 4:10am Mississippi Burning: The End Game 5:10am Countdown 5:55am Inuk

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky Once upon a time, Bottle Top Bill became a lid for a well-known coke company and his best friend, Corky became the top of a wine bottle. But he became corked and died. The end. 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots Oh, I thought it said Flowerpots and was all excited. Like the flowerpot men. I know they were before our time but still very exciting if they were still on now even though they didn't speak much coherent lingo. 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Titch 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away I watched this the other day for the first time. It was great. I like it more now there’s all the death and stuff 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:35pm Petticoat Affair 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm First Target 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:15pm UEFA Cup Football: Newcastle United v Zulte Waregem 10:00pm Sniper 12:00am Football Night 1:00am Quiz Call 4:00am Dutch Football 5:10am Football Argentina Highlights ooh American football! Wow, like, I’m so happy this is on

7:00pm New Dog Borstal 8:00pm The Baby Borrowers 9:00pm I'm a Child Anorexic 10:00pm EastEnders It's not the same anymore and god, it's still so depressing. Suppose that hasn't changed 10:25pm Man Stroke Woman 10:55pm Comedy Shuffle 11:25pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps I've never been a fan but many are so who am I to argue 11:55pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:25am I'm a Child Anorexic 1:20am New Dog Borstal 2:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:50am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:20am Man Stroke Woman This is on again? As I said before, Woman stroke man back and repeat again. Woman stroke man back and repeat again.Woman stroke man back and repeat again. Woman stroke man back and repeat again. Woman stroke man back and repeat again.

Woman stroke man back and repeat again. Woman stroke man back.

7:00pm Sounds of the Sixties 7:10pm The Avengers 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Waiting Room 9:00pm The Addictions of Sin - WH Auden in His Own Words Oh, this would be good as we are studying him at the moment but I haven't got BBC 4. God, S4C though so the world is happy again.

10:00pm WH Auden: Tell Me the Truth about Love 11:00pm No 13 11:40pm Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 12:10am Soul Britannia 1:10am The Waiting Room What are they waiting for? If they are waiting for a train to come, then don't do it. Free yourselves from doom. If however, you're waiting to see a Dr, then pick up a pamphlet on genital warts. Educate yourselves and make sure you don't become another number in the STD explosion as it were over the UK. Yes, that's right. Indeed. 1:40am The Addictions of Sin: WH Auden in his Own Words 2:40am

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Smallville 8:00pm WAGs Boutique 9:00pm Supernatural 10:00pm Haunted Homes 11:00pm Comedy Cuts 11:30pm Entourage 12:05am The Office: An American Workplace 12:30am Test Drive My Girlfriend 1:00am ITV Play

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Sophie Ellis Bextor Gives You Extra 8:00am Shipwrecked Sounds: Girls v Boys 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Deserted Island Discs 11:00am Fresh Gigs 12:00pm Nothing but... Bikini Babes 1:00pm Sophie Ellis Bextor Gives You Extra 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm ER 10:00pm Skins 11:00pm Bring Back... Grange Hill 12:05am Scrubs 12:30am Scrubs 1:00am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 1:50am Skins 2:50am The War at Home 3:10am No Angels 4:10am One Tree Hill 4:45am Switched 5:10am Switched 5:30am Switched

8:00am Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 8:40am Planed Plant:Y Rhaglen Wirion 'Na 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Room for Improvement 10:00am Show Boat 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Dwdlam 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Pingu 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Tomos A'i Ffrindiau 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Meees! 1:15pm Science Scams 1:25pm Time Team 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant:Martin Mellten 4:30pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Y Fet a Fi 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Stwffio 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Pawb a'i Farn 9:30pm Ralio 10:30pm Jamie's Chef 11:30pm Shameless 12:35am Sexy Beast 2:00am 4Music Presents... Red Hot Chili Peppers 2:25am Fear of Flying 3:15am Goalissimo!

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Titch five 8.40am

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FRIDAY

FEBRUARY.19.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Breakfast

Breakfast

BBC1 6.00am

BBC1 6.00am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Gene Detectives 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am Living in the Sun Out of a quick survey of my housemates all of them would rather be too hot than too cold. Personally I’d rather be too cold. KER-AZ-Y. 11:45am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours Steph tells Toadie how she thinks he’s a buff thing and wants to do rudies with him. Or something similar to that. Actually, just imagine the possibilities of a Neighbours late night version… 2:05pm Doctors You’d think the amount of time they seems to spend actually out of the surgery someone would be fatally injured. Well, tough shit, you’re wrong. 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:ChuckleVision 3:40pm Time Warp Trio 4:00pm Raven 4:30pm 50/50 5:00pm Gina's Laughing Gear 5:30pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm A Question of Sport 7:30pm Real Story with Fiona Bruce 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm After You've Gone 9:00pm Lilies 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Comedy Connections 11:15pm The BBC One Sessions: Bryan Ferry

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 8:55am Beat the Boss 9:20am Lizzie McGuire 9:45am Legend of the Dragon 10:10am Zombie Hotel 10:35am Even Stevens 11:00am Top Cat 11:25am The Munsters 11:50am Dangermouse 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch For lunch today I ate a Rolo cookie and a satsuma. Tough times. 1:30pm Animal Park 2:15pm Perfect Strangers 2:45pm Escape to the Country 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm The Weakest Link 5:55pm Party Conference Broadcast: The Welsh Labour Party Does anyone else see the funny side putting Anne ‘I asked ‘what are they for?’ about the Welsh’ Robinson before this? No. Just me then yep.

6:00pm Nature's Calendar 6:30pm Masterchef Goes Large 7:00pm Dream Commuters 7:30pm Jimmy's Diaries 8:00pm A New Year at Kew 8:30pm Gardeners' World 9:00pm Custer's Last Stand 10:00pm The Grumpy Guide to Fashion 10:30pm Newsnight 11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm Shadow of the Vampire 1:00am Star Trek 1:50am Star Trek 2:40am Malcolm in the Middle I’m still thinking of the late night Neighbours, but thought about Harold. Now I can’t shut my eyes for fear of the wobbly chin and the… And I’m glad I’m inflicting this upon you too.

7:00pm Doctor Who Confidential 7:30pm Doctor Who 7:00pm Doctor Who Confidential 8:15pm Doctor Who 3 times in a fucking row. We’ve really lucked out here. 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm Man Stroke Woman 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Wow! 2 in a row. Stop it! Now you’re just spoiling us! 11:30pm Pulling 12:00am Family Guy 12:20am Family Guy Ok, being a knob aside, Family Guy is actually great. 12:45am Man Stroke Woman 1:15am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:45am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps But back to being a knob, who is going to watch 5 episodes of this bag of wank in one day?

2:15am Pulling 2:45am Fat Men Can't Hunt If they could we’d by buggered they’d track down and kill all the buffallo in South Wales, and then where will our buffallo burgers comes from? Tit!

7:00pm Medical Mavericks 8:00pm The World 8:00pm The World 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Soul Britannia at the Barbican: Queens of Lover's Rock 9:00pm The Cinema Show: Rock n Roll Camera: The Great British Pop Movie 10:00pm Soul Britannia All Stars at the Barbican 11:00pm Never Mind the Full Stops No, DO mind the freaking full stops. Neverminding them angers the proofreaders. 11:30pm The Avengers 12:20am The Cinema Show: Rock n Roll Camera: The Great British Pop Movie 1:20am Soul Britannia All Stars at the Barbican 2:20am Medical Mavericks 3:20am The Cinema Show: Rock n Roll Camera: The Great British Pop Movie I’m in a bit of a pickle, I need (slash want to in order to distract myself from reading Shakespeare) to rearrange my CD’s. Do I do so alphabetically, according to genre, favouritism? It’s all so confusing. Answers on a postcard please.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Breakfast

Breakfast

Breakfast

BBC1 6.00am

BBC1 6.00am

BBC1 6.00am

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women No doubt still debating about Jade Goody. Could I give a shit?

Let’s face it, do you? In fact, let’s end this here: she’s a thick tosspot. Simple innit? 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Emmerdale Confidential 3:30pm Dancing on Ice Exclusive Worth watching just to bear witness to the past it ‘celebrities’ falling flat on their arses and making twats out of themselves…and breaking bones, bleeding a lot, disappearing off the face of the earth… Wishful thinking all the way. 3:55pm Kavanagh QC 5:30pm Dale's Supermarket Sweep 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Tonight 8:30pm A Touch of Frost 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Al Murray's Happy Hour Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off.

12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am 60 Minute Makeover Well let’s face it, if you’re up watching this, it isn’t doing you the world of good is it love? 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:55am Frasier 9:25am Supporting Acts 9:35am Laputa: Castle in the Sky 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm The Law and Jake Wade 2:05pm Designers Under Pressure 2:15pm Designers Under Pressure 2:30pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:30pm The Insider: Get Tough with the Homeless An exploration of the ins and outs of the Big Issue Magazine. In a nutshell: get approached by a homeless looking person, become racked by guilt as you’ve just spent £30 on shit you don’t want, nor need. Hand over £1.50, take magazine home, flick through, stick it in the recycling and repeat the process every week.

8:00pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 9:00pm Ugly Betty 10:00pm The Charlotte Church Show Oh dear. That will be all.

10:45pm Balls of Steel 11:35pm The Services 12:10am 4Music Presents...Kaiser Chiefs 12:40am 4 Music:The Album Chart Show 1:15am 4 Music:JD Set: The View 1:30am 50 Pounds Says You'll Watch This 50 pounds says i’d much prefer to urinate on myself. 2:30am Super Troopers 4:10am Riot in Cell

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath Did you know there’s such a thing as a ‘fisting pigeon?’ I’ll allow you a moment.............................................. .....................OK. 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots Sounds magical, just like rainbows and unicorns. Ahhh. 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:25am Thomas & Friends 8:40am Titch 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm BrainTeaser 1:40pm At the End of the Day: the Sue Rodriguez Story 3:40pm While I Was Gone You drank the last of the milk, now replace it you lazy fuck.

5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Out of Practice 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Mean Machines 8:00pm Nick Baker's Weird Creatures 9:00pm NCIS 10:00pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:00pm David Icke: Was He Right?

12:00am Prison Break 1:00am Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call Quiz Call 5:35am Wildlife SOS

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Sonic Underground 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Winx Club 8:25am Yu-Gi-Oh! GX 8:55am Tootuff 9:25am Coronation Street 9:50am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40pm The Ricki Lake Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Smallville 8:00pm ITV at the Movies 8:30pm American Idol 10:30pm American Idol 12:30am American Idol 1:30am Haunted Homes 2:25am Coronation Street 2:50am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:00am Teleshopping

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Lil Chris Does Small Talk 8:00am Shipwrecked Sounds: Girls v Boys 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Deserted Island Discs 11:00am Fresh Films 12:00pm Nothing but... Heated Hunks 1:00pm Lil Chris Does Small Talk 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm My Name Is Earl 9:30pm Peep Show 10:00pm Pitch Black 12:00am Scrubs 12:30am Scrubs 12:55am The War at Home 1:25am Pitch Black 3:15am Desperate Housewives 3:55am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:40am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:25am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:25am Switched

7:00am Planed Plant Bach 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Room for Improvement 10:00am Magnificent Obsession 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach: 1:15pm 3 Minute Wonder: Losing Myself 1:20pm Britain's Worst Weather 2:25pm Deal or No Deal 3:10pm Countdown 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.005.00):Bywyd Cudd Sabrina 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Teledu Eddie 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 5:55pm Party Conference Broadcast 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Uned 5 7:25pm Darllediad Cynadleddol y Blaid Lafur Gymreig 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Tipit 9:00pm Jonathan 10:00pm CNEX 10:15pm Caerdydd 11:15pm The Charlotte Church Show 12:05am Ugly Betty 12:55am Balls of Steel 1:35am Live from Abbey Road 2:30am Our Survey Said: The Ultimate Game Show Moments 3:55am Truck Festival

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29

SATURDAY

FEBRUARY.19.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

BBC2 4pm

Travels with a Tangerine BBC4 1.20am

6:00am Breakfast I am too hungover and tired to actually do this. Again.

Every bloody wednesday. I see a pattern here. TV Neil and former TV Grace are looking at images of women pumping breast milk. They are both touching each other and I am very scared.

10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am Bill's Food 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:10pm Football Focus 1:00pm World Cup Cycling 2:00pm Rugby League 2:30pm Six Nations Rugby 4:50pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5:05pm Six Nations Rugby 7:35pm When Will I Be Famous?

8:35pm Casualty 9:25pm The National Lottery: Saturday Draws I have my eye on a giant Kinder egg for Easter and I have to start saving now. It does have a giant toy inside yes.

9:35pm When Will I Be Famous? This week there is a pie juggling dwarf and a nyphomaniac allergic to sex.

10:05pm BBC News; Weather 10:25pm Match of the Day 11:45pm Halloween H20: 20 Years Later 1:05am Trapped in Space 2:35am Joins BBC News 24 because it has been Valentines day I thought I would try my hand at writing some emo stylee lyrics about love.

I love you, your face is fluffy I like you hair and your muffy But some times I have wind and do a guffy and our love has to end. Thats copyright TV Ellen so dont you go stealing it.

6:00am CBeebies:Balamory 6:20am Tweenies 6:40am Big Cook Little Cook 7:00am CBBC:Roar 7:55am Arthur 8:10am Lizzie McGuire 8:30am The Story of Tracy Beaker 9:00am Our House 10:00am The Story of Tracy Beaker 10:30am Time Warp Trio 10:50am Secret Show 11:00am Krypto the Superdog 11:30am The Fairly Odd Parents 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm See Hear 12:45pm Film 2007 with Jonathan Ross 1:15pm Churchill's Bodyguard 2:00pm Party Conference Broadcast: The Welsh Labour Party 4:00pm Inherit the Wind 4:10pm TOTP 2 4:40pm What the Papers Say 4:50pm Final Score 5:05pm Meerkat Manor 5:30pm Meerkat Manor 5:55pm Dragons' Den I went to four gigs in the last week and shall now describe them in three words.

Bloc Party - They were good The Decemberists - They were better The Klaxons/CSS - This will require more then three words, it was very enjoyable however there was several girls their dressed to the nines like twats. One girl wearing neon pink tights and hotpants. You are at a gig not a fashion show you stupid bint. Also lets bin the glowsticks now.

Brand New- They were on for an hour and a half 6:55pm The Culture Show 7:45pm Six Nations Rugby 10:05pm Comedy Map of Britain 11:05pm Boxing 12:05am The Culture Show 12:55am My Name Is Modesty

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:20am Pocoyo 6:35am Dora the Explorer 6:55am Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 7:25am Lilo and Stitch 7:50am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:10am Emperor's New School 8:35am Kim Possible 9:10am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am CITV:Horrid Henry 9:35am CITV:Bel's Boys 9:50am CITV:Tricky Quickies 10:00am CITV:Art Attack 10:20am CITV:The Amazing Adrenalini Brothers 10:30am CITV:Drake and Josh 11:00am Coastal Kitchen 11:30am Saturday Cooks Live 12:50pm ITV News; Weather 12:55pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:00pm American Idol 3:00pm Planet's Funniest Animals 3:15pm Dragnet 5:10pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:25pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:40pm All New You've Been Framed!

6:10pm Harry Hill's TV Burp 6:40pm Dancing on Ice 7:45pm Primeval 8:45pm PokerFace 9:45pm Dancing on Ice - The Skate Off 10:15pm Al Murray's Happy Hour 11:15pm ITV News; Weather 11:30pm Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo 1:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:25am Don't Move, Improve 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News and played the songs in order of albums. They played every song from the second album apart from one.

Their encore was their new album. Dear god why?

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Goalissimo! 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:Homemade 9:25am T4:Friends 9:55am T4:Friends 10:30am T4:Popworld 11:15am T4:High School Dance 12:20pm T4:Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12:50pm T4:Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Kempton Park and Newcastle 4:00pm Location, Location, Location 4:30pm Deal or No Deal Classic 5:20pm The Search 6:20pm Channel 4 News 6:45pm Britain's Worst Weather 7:45pm 100 Greatest Sex Symbols You know where this is heading. Self indulgence time. Here are mine; Noel Fielding and Russel Brand (the goth detectives) The bouncer with the fake tan and plucked eyebrows at The Welsh Club The bald aggressive bouncer at the Taf Richard Madely Elijah Wood BUT only as a hobbit Dumbo’s mother before she dies (I’m not that sick) The Domino’s pizza man The DJ at fun factory “Hello cardiff!”

Yes we know where we are thank you very much you beardy fool.

Paul O Grady 11:50pm Girl, Interrupted Stupid film, read the book.

2:10am Lost Highway 4:25am Lucky Day 4:40am The Insider: Get Tough with the Homeless 5:10am 3 Minute Wonder: Deutche Borse Photography Prize 2007 5:15am Countdown

6:00am Sunrise 6:55am Franklin 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:35am Peppa Pig 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:15am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:35am Don't Blame the Koalas 10:05am Hercules: Legendary Journeys 11:05am Xcalibur 11:35am Madeline: Lost in Paris That stupid French gimpie girl gets lost in Paris and gets picked up by a paedophile with hilarious consequences.

1:10pm The Gadget Show 2:05pm Three Days of the Condor 4:15pm The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm 6:40pm Beetle Juice This film scared me so much when I was knee high to a grasshopper. I remember that Michael Keaton looks like a zombie clown and takes ghosts to hell or something.

8:20pm five news and sport 8:35pm NCIS 9:25pm CSI:NY 10:25pm Law and Order 11:25pm Deceived 1:20am Quiz Call 5:35am Wildlife SOS Another poem about love Love is stupid Boys are stupid You are stupid Coke Zero is especially stupid but not as pointless as love.

How poignant, I might go to a poetry reading night and wear a beret.

Oh dear god my mum has turned up early and is waiting in my room, I am racking my brain for embarassing things in it. Naked people.

7:00pm BBC3 Outtakes 2006 7:35pm Top Gear 8:35pm Fat Boy to Slim 9:35pm Family Business 11:25pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:55pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:25am Thieves Like Us 12:55am Comedy Shuffle 1:25am Comedy Specials: Green 1:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:55am Thieves Like Us 3:25am BBC3 OuttakesJust a note to the men who live at a certain student resident in Senghennydd rd, yes you, can you please (whoever it is) stop coughing up phlegm for ten minutes twice a day.

Not only is it disturbing for the individual who has to hear it through the wall it is so loud but it is also rather scary.

Stop smoking for the love of god.

7:00pm Wagner's Ring: The Valkyrie 11:10pm Since Otar Left 12:50am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 1:20am Travels with a Tangerine I would much prefer to go travelling with a banana for obvious sexual reasons. I jest. A banana is too small. I JEST AGAIN. Lack of sleep has made me go all funny. I am very very hungry and want to finish this as quickly as possible so that my I can meet my mummy for dinner. Valentines day made me a bit of a sad panda, and she knows free food always tends to cheer me up no end.

Might go to Pica Pica, tapas restaurant of dreams. If your dreams happen to be about olives and cheese.2:20am Medical Mavericks 3:20am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe And I am a writer, writer of fictions I am the heart that you call home And I've written pages upon pages Trying to rid you from my bones.

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald's Farm 8:25am Mags and Mo 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:50am The Wheels on the Bus 9:00am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:10pm Coronation Street Omnibus 2:35pm Holiday Showdown 3:35pm Planet's Funniest Animals 4:05pm Movies Now 4:15pm ITV at the Movies 4:45pm Smallville 5:45pm Smallville 6:45pm Smallville 7:45pm Australian Princess 8:45pm Dancing on Ice: Defrosted 9:45pm Harry Hill's TV Burp 10:15pm Dancing on Ice: Defrosted Results 10:45pm Liar Liar If were keeping score, were all quiet boys, at best interesting and arrogant.

12:25am Dancing on Ice 1:30am Dancing on Ice - The Skate Off 2:00am Dancing on Ice: Defrosted Results 2:30am ITV Play: Make Your Play 3:40am Emmerdale Omnibus

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music's A List 9:00am Our Showbiz Mates 10:00am Peaches Picks 2:00pm The Album Chart Show 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:25pm Friends 5:55pm The Simple Life: Interns 6:25pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries Lilly Allen is in my head singing 6:55pm Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Desperate Housewives 10:00pm Desperate Housewives 11:00pm Desperate Housewives 12:00am The Simple Life: Interns 12:25am Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12:55am Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 2:05am Desperate Housewives 2:50am Desperate Housewives 3:30am Desperate Housewives 4:15am The Album Chart Show 4:40am Switched 5:00am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Goalissimo! 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Grudge Match 9:10am Homemade 9:40am Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 10:10am Cynhadledd y Blaid Lafur 12:10pm The OC I think this may have sunk to even greater lows, this is a dream sequence episode when Ryan knocks himself out with a ladder. It’s all gone a bit ‘Saved By The Bell’ hasnt it.

Without sexy Mr Belding. I would.

1:05pm Beauty and the Geek 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Kempton Park and Newcastle 4:00pm Supporting Acts 4:20pm Deal or No Deal 5:10pm Location, Location, Location 5:40pm Tywysogion 6:40pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 7:15pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 7:30pm Y Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol 10:00pm Codi Canu 10:45pm CNEX 11:00pm Wild Things 12:55am Sex Lives of the Potato Men 2:25am 4Music Presents...Kaiser Chiefs 2:55am Download

Inherit the wind

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Pokerface

Lost in Paris

Peaches Picks

ITV1 8.45pm

five 11.35am

e4 10am

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

30 gairrhydd

SUNDAY

FEBRUARY.19.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Half Ton Man Channel 4 8.00pm

Recovery

Meerkat Manor

Wild at Heart

BBC1 9.00pm

BBC2 7.10pm

ITV1 8.00pm

6:00am Breakfast 7:35am Match of the Day 9:00am Sunday AM 10:00am Heaven and Earth with Gloria Hunniford 11:00am Countryfile 12:00pm The Politics Show 1:05pm 'Allo 'Allo! 1:35pm Keeping Up Appearances 2:05pm Cash in the Attic 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm EastEnders 5:10pm After You've Gone 5:40pm Songs of Praise 6:15pm When Love Comes to Town 6:45pm Antiques Roadshow 7:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 8:00pm Rough Diamond 9:00pm Recovery 10:30pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather So, here I am writing the listings for Sunday again. Not a lot has happened since last week. There hasn’t been anymore snow and I attended my lectures and not much else. I’m quite looking forward to going out tonight, and tomorrow night too. Should be an exciting weekend then. Woo. I haven’t really got anything to write about. I’m lacking any inspiration this week as I’m not really pissed off about anything in particular. Oh, haha, there were a few idiots in a lecture on Monday who made fools of themselves.

The lecturer asked us what happened on September 1st 1939. I assumed no one answered because everyone just knows.

10:50pm Enemy at the Gates 12:55am Sign Zone:Wanted Down Under 1:40am Sign Zone:Holby City 2:40am Joins BBC News 24

6:00am CBeebies:Balamory 6:20am Tweenies 6:40am Big Cook Little Cook 7:00am CBBC:Batfink 7:10am The Batman 7:30am Smile 10:00am Something for the Weekend 11:30am Planet Food 12:00pm Terry 1:30pm Premiership Rugby Union 1:50pm International Badminton 3:30pm World Cup Cycling 5:15pm Scrum V 6:05pm Wild 6:45pm Natural World 7:10pm Meerkat Manor 7:35pm Meerkat Manor 8:00pm Top Gear Ohh God this was a good episode. How much fun would it be to drive across America? The boys looked like they were having a whale of a time. I actually wonder if they did eat the cow and squirrel. I hope not cos that’d be pretty gross. I’d go hungry instead.

9:00pm Oklahoma Bomb: The Conspiracy Files Well I was wrong.

After a few minutes one genius asked if it was the Great Depression. And our survey says, ugh ugh. The second person, asked if it was the bombing of Guernica. Think again wise guy. How the heck do you not know? The lecturer looked both bemused and disappointed at the same time. That’s what happens if you talk in lectures. You look like a retard.

10:00pm Kombat Opera Presents 10:30pm Match of the Day 11:25pm Ideal 11:55pm Graham Norton Uncut 12:40am Family Guy 1:05am Family Guy 1:25am Family Guy 1:45am Circus of Horrors

6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:25am House of Mouse 7:50am Totally Spies! 8:15am Yin Yang Yo! 8:30am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:50am Oban Star Racers 9:25am CITV:Horrid Henry 9:35am CITV:Feodor 9:45am CITV:Curious George 9:55am CITV:Pocoyo 10:05am CITV:Jim Jam and Sunny 10:20am CITV:Jim Jam and Sunny 10:30am Soccer Sunday 11:30am The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 12:30pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:35pm American Idol 3:35pm Planet's Funniest Animals 3:55pm Primeval 4:55pm Dancing on Ice 6:00pm Dancing on Ice - The Skate Off 6:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:35pm Party Conference Broadcast: The Welsh Labour Party 6:40pm ITV News; Weathhher 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wild At Heart This looks like the biggest pile of turd. Why, for the last ten years or something, have ITV put really shit programmes on at 8pm on a Sunday. Surely there are better things for family viewing. I’d rather watch Carry On films.

9:00pm Lewis 11:00pm ITV News; Weather 11:15pm Carling Cup Final Highlights 12:15am The Moral of the Story 12:40am ITV Play: Glitterball 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am Trans World Sport 7:30am Velux 5 Oceans 8:00am World Cup Skiing 8:55am T4:Popworld 9:45am T4:Hollyoaks 12:15pm T4:Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12:50pm T4:4Music Presents...Kaiser Chiefs 1:25pm T4:Friends 1:55pm T4:Beauty and the Geek 2:55pm T4:The OC 3:55pm T4:Ugly Betty 4:55pm Deal or No Deal 5:40pm Time Team 6:40pm Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 7:40pm Channel 4 News 8:00pm Half Ton Man We can only hope that this is actually about a man who weighs half a ton, and not something else, like erm, a man who can lift half a ton. Is half a ton a lot? What’s the difference between a ton and a tonne?

9:00pm Bridget Jones's Diary 10:50pm Private Benjamin I have a memory of this film. When I was a kid my parents went out and my grandad came over to look after me for the evening. I remember watching this. I can’t remember if it was any good. I won’t watch it again because it’ll marr the memory.

12:55am 4 Music:The Album Chart Show 1:20am 4 Music:4 Play 1:35am 3 Minute Wonder: Deutche Borse Photography Prize 2007 1:40am Murder in Paradise 2:40am Red Bull Air Race 3:30am World Cup Skiing 4:25am Scrapheap Challenge USA 5:25am Countdown

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Sailor Sid 6:40am Bird Bath 6:50am Franklin 7:20am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:30am The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:15am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:30am Gerald McBoing Boing 9:00am Jane and the Dragon 9:30am What Makes Me Happy 9:45am Demolition Dad 10:00am Round the Twist 10:30am A Different Life 11:00am Snobs 11:35am RAD: The Groms Tour the Baltics 12:05pm Rooted 12:40pm Revelations 1:10pm Divine Designs 1:15pm five news update 1:20pm Divine Designs 1:50pm Ultimate Speed Machines 2:55pm Knights of the Round Table 5:05pm Dungeons & Dragons 7:00pm five news and sport 7:15pm Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey 9:00pm Point Break 11:15pm Disorderly Conduct 12:15am Ironman Triathlon 1:05am Boxing Classic 1:55am UEFA Cup Football: Newcastle United v Zulte Waregem 3:25am Adventure Triathlon 3:45am Football Argentina 5:10am Football Argentina Highlights Call me from Albermarle Station if you can. I hope you find your concentration beneath those ceiling fans. We used to dance in this split-level ranch when moonlight flooded the room. Now you're gone and the shades...

7:00pm Freaky Eaters 8:00pm New Wedding Stories 9:00pm SuperSlim Me: A Mischief Special 10:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 10:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:00pm New Wedding Stories 12:00am SuperSlim Me: A Mischief Special 12:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 1:55am Torchwood 2:50am New Wedding Stories ...are all drawn in my air conditioned tomb. Bad roads, bad snow, bad bridges could turn a once bad man religious, if your kingdom ever comes you better run.

There must be a spanish word for this feeling, the rush I get when I am stealing from the Dust Congress whose dollars and dimes say "in dust we trust", the world is not ready for you. I passed an abandoned drive-in with ivy growing over the screen. It was like I caught Hollywood sleeping- sleep without dreams. A magic shop in...

7:00pm The Way We Went Wild 8:00pm Wainwright: The Man Who Loved the Lakes 9:00pm Travels with a Tangerine 10:00pm The Great British Holiday 11:00pm Wainwright: The Man Who Loved the Lakes 12:00am Travels with a Tangerine 1:00am Cooking in the Danger Zone 1:30am The Waiting Room 2:00am Wainwright: The Man Who Loved the Lakes 3:00am Travels with a Tangerine... Colonial Watts, something gets pushed by the wind. The worlds not ready, the worlds not ready, the chimes of rabies are ringing again.Bad roads, bad snow, bad bridges could turn a once bad man religious, if your kingdom ever comes you better run.

There must be a pool out behind the church ‘cause he looked so cool in the back of a hearse. After a fortnight of his trial all the citizens began to dress in his style. It's a beautiful world. It’s a beautiful world.

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 6:25am Fun Song Factory 6:35am Mopatop's Shop 6:45am Engie Benjy 6:55am Pocoyo 7:15am Fun Song Factory 7:25am House of Mouse 7:50am Totally Spies!

8:15am Yin Yang Yo! 8:30am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:50am Oban Star Racers 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:10pm Liar Liar 1:45pm Coronation Street Omnibus 4:00pm American Idol 6:00pm American Idol 8:00pm American Idol 9:00pm Supernatural 10:00pm The Office: An American Workplace 10:30pm Coronation Street 11:00pm The Devil's Own 1:10am ITV Play: The Mint 4:00am Teleshopping Everybody wants perspective from a hill but everybody's wants can't make it past the window sill. I can see you in your room at night, the pictures on your walls, little forest scenes and high school

6:00am Uninterrupted Indie 2:05pm Popworld 2:55pm Playing it Straight 4:00pm Friends 4:30pm Friends 5:00pm Switched Up! 6:00pm The OC 7:00pm Friends 7:30pm Friends 8:00pm Ugly Betty 9:00pm ER 10:00pm Desperate Housewives 11:00pm Skins 12:00am The Charlotte Church Show 12:50am On Tour with the Shockwaves NME Awards 1:40am Skins 2:40am Playing it Straight 3:40am My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss 4:25am Switched 4:45am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:30am Switched halloweens, but they don't come to you, they don't come to you at all. All houses dream in blueprints. Our house dreams so hard.

Outside you can see my shoeprints, I've been dreaming in your yard. One of these days these days will end.

Through the kitchen window the light will bend. You'll be carving a pumpkin with a knife when someone at the table says

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am Trans World Sport 7:30am Velux 5 Oceans 8:00am World Cup Skiing 8:55am Hollyoaks 11:25am Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 12:30pm Yr Wythnos 1:00pm Maniffesto 1:30pm Rownd a Rownd 2:00pm Rownd a Rownd 2:30pm British Made 2:45pm A Place in the Sun 3:45pm A Place in the Sun 4:45pm Byd o Liw 5:15pm Newyddion 5:20pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 7:15pm Codi Canu 8:00pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 8:30pm Twrio 9:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:00pm Newyddion 10:15pm Gladiator 12:55am Rita, Sue and Bob Too 2:30am Safe 4:30am The Insider: Get Tough with the Homeless "that's not what I call a life!" The elephants are so ashamed of their size, hosing down I tell them "you got pretty eyes". Out in the backyard I used to make like I was a cowboy, I'd set my dog before a hoop and say "now boy, now boy!"

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Old Bear Stories five 6.25am

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

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PROBLEM PAGE

FEBRUARY.19.2007 PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

The de Ville’s Advocate This Week: I’ve got a brand new combine harvester

Social Networking for the Socially Inept...

Single? Pathetic? Alone? Without a mate? Friendless?

Sociopathic? Soulless? There are one trillion, eight billion and forty two women out there just awaiting your call. I took to the streets to find some of the most eligible bachelorettes ever to grace a pavement. The competition was fierce but I’ve managed to narrow it down to a select few...

Name: Joan and Yvonne Ages: 47 & 43 Location: Cumbria Like: Dressing up, wine and socialising.

Pro’s: Would suit two single friends who enjoy double dates. Wig suggests playful side.

Cons: There’s nothing wrong with being mature, but these look like they’ve got baseball bat-wielding husbands at home.

Standing in the way of parental control Dear Grace,

Dearest Richard,

I really don't get on with my parents. I thought that this was simply a teenage phase that would pass as soon as I moved out and got myself a life. Alas, this is not the case. They still annoy the hell out of me. Every trip home is a battle of wills and we fight over every minute detail of life.

My mother still enforces an 11pm curfew, despite the fact that I'm twenty-four. I'm still so angered by their presence, even when they don't do or say anything. I can't ever imagine us resolving these issues. I heard that Corey Feldman divorced his parents – how do I go about doing the same?

Eleven o' clock curfew eh? At least you were allowed to leave the house. Seven months of my childhood were spent locked in the boiler room with only a Rubik's cube and one of those cheapo mini torches for company.

I was told that I would be released as soon as I completed the puzzle. Unfortunately for poor me, the torch lasted about three minutes before it conked out. Thus I was left in the pitch black, frantically scrambling at the cube in the pathetically improbable hope that it would configure itself into the right formation. I never managed to finish the popular yuppie toy.

Instead I developed superior night vision, mild rickets and the ability to truly appreciate my own company. I suppose I

Richard. P. 4th Yr Medicine

should thank Mummy and Daddy for disciplining me in such a novel way. I’ll never drink juice straight from the carton again, that’s for sure.

Anyway, where was I? Divorcing your parents would be an arduous and expensive mission.

Have you tried talking to them? I tried talking to my parents but they simply taped up the door to muffle my screams. Sorry, I digress. Perhaps your mother is experiencing a common problem known as “Empty Nest Syndrome”.

Her pathetic attempts to preserve your teenage disciplinary measures are simply her way of keeping you young for as long as possible. She’d take you much more seriously if you grew a beard.

I hope this is of use, Grace xxx

Forever young

Name: Jocelyn Age: 59 Location: New York Likes: Plastic surgery.

Pros: Shiny, with curves in all the right (and wrong) places.

Cons: Can’t stand too close to candles for any period of time.

Excessive surgery makes expression difficult, therefore it would be impossible to gauge her mood.

Dear Grace, What is the secret of eternal youth? Your charming picture seems to suggest that you are the best person to ask.

I eagerly await your reply, Beth, Cathays Dear Beth,

Name: Dawn Age: 26 Location: US of A Likes: Pumping breast milk for erotic pleasure.

Pros: Would provide sustenance in the event of nuclear war.

Cons: Only suitable for the niche breast milk fetish market. Others, especially parents, might find it a little odd.

I enjoy flattery as much as the next lentil-brained dispenser of advice, however I’m not entirely sure of your sincerity. The years may not have been kind to my visage but I’m still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I credit my youthful outlook to a daily spoonful of mackerel guts and an avoidance of reality in all its evil guises.

I am assuming, perhaps wrongly, that you are referring to the physical appearance of ageing as opposed to the mental effects such as dementia or

simple cantankerousness. We all worry about the effects that the ravages of time can have on one’s outward appearance, but we deal with it in different ways.

Take Cheryl Baker for example.

She wasn’t going to take hair loss lying down, no! She fought back with the help of Nourkrin.

For the bargain price of just £149.95, you too can ease the pain of thinning hair with a treatment good enough even for a former member of Buck’s Fizz.

In a cruel twist of fate that may upset Cheryl, some of us experience problems with excess hair.

I possess such a wild mane that I often fear for the future. What if scissors become extinct? Will my hair take over my head like an unclipped leylandii in a suburban garden? Will the lifeblood be squeezed out of me? These are frightening times. Before you know it you’ll be seventy and wishing you’d paid more attention to the advice you read when

you were an ignorant, apathetic twenty-something. I was always encouraged to moisturise my face as much as possible, but ignored the wisdom of others and used baby wipes instead.

Now my skin has the patina of a beef jerky and is the texture of death. Injecting the botulism toxin into my forehead with the aid of a frighteningly long needle doesn’t really appeal. I don’t fancy re-surfacing the skin with the use of lasers and chemical peels either.

These methods are all good and well if you’re a) moneyed and b) brave, but what about us destitute wimps? I don’t want to sink into the midst of the crew cut sporting, snaggle-toothed, ashtray-faced proles. Once the skin sinks southwards I’m going to get crafty with a stapler.

Innovation, my friend, is the secret to eternal youth.

Love from Grace xxx

It’s hard to choose a beverage appropriate to the situation in hand. I try to avoid ingesting an excessive amount of caffeine (and besides, coffee gives you teacher breath). I though I’d made a healthy choice when I picked up some tropical juice. Oh, how wrong was I? Now I’m buzzing like an epileptic smackhead on a methadone withdrawal program and seeing weird shapes. In future I’ll stick to fennel tea. G xxx

gairrhydd FEBRUARY.19.2007

FIVE MINUTE FUN

FLANGEFORPRESIDENT@gairrhydd.COM

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Leo - July 24 - Aug 23 Do not talk to the Growlers Bad.

Taurus - Apr 21 - May 21 Luck sees you meeting your biological father at the Dolly Parton UK tour starting in March. Although he is now a camp, pink finger-nailed disco diva you will find mutual love and respect blossom over scones.

(Note: Mutual love only occurs if the scones are accompanied with Robertson’s luxury preserve strawberry jam. Fact).

Capricorn - Dec 22 - Jan.20 “Do you like the moon, Mr Mcai?” inquired the the petit poi. “Ney” said the black and white speckled hen, “but I very much admire the sun”. This week, it is all about beating those blues by catching some rays. I suggest a trip to the Consul Sun Centre as their newly supplied bulbs and competitive rates make it a cheap, if not safe option to guarantee happiness.

Virgo - Aug 24 - Sept 23 You feel as if you’re on cloud nine at the moment.

Everything is fan -dabby dowsy. However, happiness will end within five minutes of reading this so prepare yourself for the worst. Pea. Leg. Grol. Freedom for the masses.

Libra - Sept. 24 - Oct. 23 Gringott shrimp. Your landlord will declare himself bankrupt and you will become homeless.

Scorpio - Oct. 24 - Nov. 22 To ensure maximum grazing put yourself in a stables.

Sagittarius - Nov 23 -Dec 21 You are going to morph into a human doormat this week. This will incur three stages: firstly, you will find yourself forgiving the last woman/man that tried to stab your mum; secondly, you will relish being slapped around the face by frozen fish products, and thirdly, you will die due to donating all your vital organs to an orphan child named Priscilla.

Aquarius - Jan. 21 - Feb. Like the fish, you smell of smeg cheese this month. In spite of this you are both a gentlemen and a scholar who yearns to suckle on a warm cow teat just one more time.

Luck sees you eating a meaty blini this month.

Cancer - June 23 - July 23 Due to technical difficulties involving Timmy’s mallet

Pisces - Feb 20 - Mar 20 Life isn’t easy for the pin cushion queen when she sits on her throne, pins push through her spleen.

the hall of shame 6 6 6 7 6 7 6 7 8 7 0 R E B M NEW TEXT NU

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Aries - Mar 21 - Apr 20 Enlightenment and everlasting serenity will be found in a Kinderegg.

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Gemini - May 22 - June 22 You want your whopper konged so badly that you can hardly keep yourself from picking up grannies and mutes from down the day centre. However, fortune favours the blind.

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we are unable to read the stars for Cancer this week. Try reading some pet horoscopes instead. Ya get me?

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1 Differ (8) 5 Mesh (4) 8 Troubles (8) 9 Extra (4) 11 Botanical centre (3,7) 14 Open area in town centre (6) 15 Thin rope (6) 17 Sure to happen (10) 20 Nautical cry! (4) 21 Rule, control (8) 22 Comfort (4) 23 Marine creature (8)

1 Cart used for carrying loads (4) 2 Dirt (4) 3 Source of vitamin C (10) 4 Come into view (6) 6 Former name for Zimbabwe (8) 7 Equestrian sport (8) 10 Lord of the rings author (1,1,1,7) 12 Approximate calculation (8) 13 Many (8) 16 Frolic (6) 18 Scalp covering (4) 19 Elude (4)

tash(

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New year, new talents? My arse. You still draw like a 3 week old weasel. Art Attack’s legendary swordsman shows us his versions of some well known classics.

Exhibit no. 67 - Da Vinci - Mona ‘mash up’ Lisa

gairrhydd

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GRAB!

FEBRUARY.19.2007 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

Spend an evening with Jack O

VER THE past term Jack Daniels have held a sponsored battle of the bands. 150 bands from universities across the country have taken part and it's been whittled down through various rounds. A Cardiff University band, Cloud Atlas, are in the final which is being held in London on February 22.

The Quench music team will be at the event so look out for an article in Quench soon to see how the Cardiff guys in Cloud Atlas get on.

To celebrate Cardiff’s success so far in the battle of the bands, two lucky readers have the chance to win a pair of tickets to a whiskey tasting evening

F

RIDAYS ARE all change in the union this year. No longer is it a sweaty pit cum cattle market that is rather resemblent of Come Play. Instead, you can expect a night of funky tunes, all out dancing and cheap drinks to embrace the weekend with!

Access All Areas is an alternative night where you’re more likely to hear the latest from cool peeps such as The Killers, Kasabian and classics from Ash, Muse and kick-ass DJs such as Fatboy Slim and Pendulum rather than Girls Aloud and Justin Timberlake...(although we do all love a bit of JT). So you can expect a mish-mash of alternative and stylish from the DJs. If you fancy a bit of the action...or would just be rather doing anything than watching Eastenders, then Access All Areas is the place for you. We’ve managed to grab enough guest list tickets for your whole house this Friday.

is entitled an "Evening with Jack" which takes place on February 25 at 7pm.

The winner will be able to find out more about Jack and how JD is made, with cocktail taste testing at the end, and a goody bag with t-shirt/JD card tin!

To win this awesome prize all you have to do is e-mail us here at competitions with your pictures of a night with Jack. The best two pictures will both win a pair of tickets to spend an “Evening with Jack”.

Jack urges you to drink responsibly.

To enter, just get your emails to me asap as it will be first come, first served.

Hi everyone! We have gathered together some great competitions for you this week with two alcohol fuelled activities up for grabs. If you appreciate your whiskey and would like to win tickets to a Jack Daniels whiskey tasting event where you will find out all about the history of Jack Daniels and how it’s made then enter our competition -We have two pairs of tickets to giveaway! Or if you prefer your ale and cider then don’t miss the chance to get free entry to the Real Ale and Cider festival along with free beer tokens and souvenirs. However, not all our competitions involve booze! For all of you with a sweet tooth you can win loads of Jelly beans or a cool student beans hoodie with our studentbeans.com give-away! Good luck x

Be a student bean S

TUDENTS AND beans are synonymous with one another. Served with a long hangover fry-up in CF10 or rushed on a piece of toast at home, the possibilities of what the budget-conscious student can do with a cheap can of beans is endless. So it was only a matter of time before someone came up with a company monopolising on the idea, in conjunction with a student money-saving venture.

Www.studentbeans.com is a fresh and funky enterprise designed to alleviate the student body from their constant economic struggle. Set up by two recent graduates from Birmingham University, the aim was to create a brand that was fun, fresh and quirky. The studentbeans.com mascot is a giant, furry, blue bean. If you’re lucky enough to encounter him, the bean and his friends have been known to distribute packs of Jelly Belly beans!

Launched in Cardiff in September 2006, there are loads of great offers available for students both here and all around the UK, so not only can you use the offers at Uni, but also when home in the holidays.

Studentbeans.com really is alarmingly easy to use and it won’t cost you a penny. It is as simple as click, print and save – regis-

ter for FREE, print out the discount vouchers and use them in the relevant venues.

One of studentbeans.com’s main aims is to enrich your university experience and stretch that student loan. Make your money go further with hundreds of shops and services across the UK now providing exclusive student offers on studentbeans.com.

Some of the fantastic offers available for students here in Cardiff include: - £1 off student priced cinema tickets at Cineworld - 15% off in Oasis - 20% at La Tasca - 15% off at iCandy – Britain’s first specialist iPod shop in Castle Arcade.

- 20% off at Las Iguanas - Rent one DVD, get a second free and Choices UK stores - Paintball for only £6!

Then there’s travel offers, beauty offers, takeaway offers, gym offers, even tattoo offers (!) as well as loads of other local, national and online offers!

The lovely people at studnet beans are giving away an awesome, bright blue Studentbeans.com hoody, two Studentbeans.com tshirts and lots of lovely Jelly Belly jelly beans! For your chance to win some of these goodies just send us a quick e-mail to the address at the top of the page.

28th February - 1st March 2007 1PM – 11PM The Great Hall, Cardiff University Students' Union

Beer heaven!

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HE REAL Ale and Cider Society is delighted to invite you to celebrate its birthday at its tenth anniversary beer festival!

Last year’s record-breaking festival raised £3,000 for local charities and was our most successful ever. You drank us dry, but this year we're back with over eighty real ales and forty traditional ciders and perries, so there'll be enough for everybody!

This year’s list is as varied as ever, with award winning beers coming from England, Scotland and most importantly, Wales. As well as the reigning Champion Beers of Britain and Wales, we will have organic beer, fruit, coffee and ginger beers, real lager and the exclusive launch of a new Welsh ale.

Entry costs £2.50, which includes an exclusive souvenir glass and programme; doors open at 1PM on Wednesday 28th

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

February. A selection of local live music will be performed both nights, as well as the quiz and lucky dip. Food and traditional soft drinks will also be available.

Join us this St David's Day and help us celebrate in style!

For more details, please contact Ian Hill at the Real Ale Society: festival@realales.org.uk The Real Ale and Cider society is offering you the chance to win all of these fantastic prizes! * Entry to either day of the festival (28th Feb, 1st March) * A souvenir glass * 5 pints worth of beer tokens * A festival t-Shirt * One year's CAMRA membership Fancy free beer at the festival and all these other prizes? Then just e-mail us at competitions and you could be the lucky winner!

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

36 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

FEBRUARY.19.2007 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This Week: the dramatic Blood Relations; Mendelssohn, Mozart and Beethoven; the 3 Fi Blood Relations @Crwys Theatre, Richmond Rd Tues - Sat Feb 20 - 24

7.30pm / £5 NUS Charlotte Hill recommends

“L

izzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother forty whacks. When the

job was nicely done, she gave her father forty one!” With Blood Relations, Act One are back with yet another compelling and gripping drama that promises to have you on the edge of your seat.

Let us set the scene of this (true) story. The time is 1892, and a brutal and horrific murder has taken place in which Andrew and Abigail Borden have been hacked to death with a household hatchet. Their youngest daughter, Lizzie, is accused of this heinous crime but later acquitted.

The play fastforwards ten years, and Lizzie is living as a spinster in her hometown, slowly becoming a recluse in a world still full of accusations.

Her closest companion, an actress

‘friend’, is her only link to the outside world, yet even she can’t help but question Lizzie’s innocence.

Lizzie suggests they play a game in which the actress can pretend to be Lizzie and re-enact the days leading up to the death of the Bordens. The actress inputs her own interpretations of events into the roleplay and the truth soon becomes harder to decipher. Accusations begin to fly, causing people to question whether the truth will ever be known for certain.

Blood Relations is a production that focuses on family relations and the effect that they have on relationships outside of the family. This is one of Act One’s darker dramas, full of intrigue, that leaves you questioning just who you can really trust.

3 F i rst Cut Awards Heat @ CF10

Sat, Feb 24

8pm / Free

Rachel Moore recommends

T

he 3 First Cut Awards are about to hit Cardiff University! The 3 First Cut Awards were launched to huge success with a rocking acoustic set by the Fratellis at The Fly Bar late last year. Now, for your personal delectation, the final heat of the competition that spawned 1,900 entries is coming to Cardiff.

The 3 First Cut Awards committee have been very busy bees sorting through those 1,900 entries to the competition, and it has made the task of shortlisting the final 21 acts an unenviable one.

The panel of judges, which includes Xfm’s Marsha and head of Fallout Recordings, Nick McEwen, have all agonised for some time over the final decision, but it’s been done.

Oddsoc Presents: Killthearcade/ The Idiot Rate/ A Thousand Suns/ The Cut-Ups @ Barfly

Mendelssohn, Mozar t and Beethoven

@ Cardiff Uni Concert Hall Wed, Feb 21

7.30pm/£4/£3 Gordon Lawrence recommends

T

his Wednesday, a select chamber orchestra of some of the best musicians in Cardiff will perform a programme of Mendelssohn, Mozart and Beethoven in aid of charity. The selected organisations, "Eyecare for Romania" and "Sight 2020",

help to provide eye care in parts of the world where people cannot afford it.

So, not only will you get an evening of great music but also the knowledge that you are doing something for charity.

The chamber orchestra will be under the well-trusted baton of Andrew Bulleyment, a university tutor and optician.

The concert’s highlight will no doubt be the solo debut of the talented Charlotte Yuen, a final-year English Literature and Music student, who will perform the solo part of Mozart's wonderfully lyrical 23rd Piano Concerto in A with the orchestra accompanying.

Then, there will be a performance of Mendelssohn's atmospheric Hebrides Overture, otherwise known as Fingal's Cave. This was inspired by his visit to the Island of Staffa in

Coming Up Preachers Manic Street

Scotland, where he was so struck by its beauty, especially of Fingal's Cave, that he wrote the opening of the overture on the spot. The music captures the essence of the drama of the waves pounding against the rocks beautifully, and is guaranteed to take you on an incredible musical journey.

The programme will be rounded off with Beethoven's Viennese style First Symphony. The symphony is almost a piece of musical comedy, with lots of contrast, energy, and an outrageously fast minuet third movement.

For a wonderful evening of relaxing music, which is guaranteed to take your mind off work and all those other mid-term stresses, then look no further than the University Concert Hall in the Music School. Tickets are £4 (£3 for concessions), and will be on sale on the door, so ensure you go and get hold of one.

Thurs, Feb 22

7.30pm/£4/£5 Rach Payne recommends

O

ddsoc is proudly inviting everyone to our night of performances by four bands who we have specially selected. It’s going to be a great night, so make sure you come, and if for some reason you are feeling a bit indecisive, then here are some reasons why you absolutely should attend this rocking night out.

The evening kicks off in style with The Cut-Ups, an Exeter-based melodic punk-rock group who contain elements of Hot Water Music.

They reached the 2006 Rock Sound Top 100 and have recently shared a stage with the much missed Adequate

You can view the shortlisted acts and the tracks that won them their place in the final 21 on the website www.3firstcutawards.co.uk Back to Cardiff. The finalist heat is happening this Saturday at CF10 in the Students’ Union, and will run from 8pm until late.

The show is headlined by singer/songwriter Adam Masterson, and support comes from competition finalists Lucy Layton, Gro Apple Tree, Satellite State and The Capital.

If you are wanting to go then good news, tickets to the show are free and available from 3 Mobile stockists, Superdrug on Queen’s Street in Cardiff, as well as on the University campus on the day and evening of the event. Woo! Here’s a little extra information: some lucky thing, if they entered an instore competition, could win a great all-expenses paid trip for two to London for the 3 First Cut Awards final, which will feature a performance by The Fratellis.

If you don’t like the sound of that then there are a few other nifty prizes up for grabs.

So, don’t miss your chance to win some cool stuff as well as hearing some great music for free.

If you need any more information on the competition or the show then visit www.3firstcutawards.co.uk.

Seven (R.I.P), so if you like up and coming bands with heaps of promise then they are a rather splendid example. Get a pint in and have a dance!

The next band are a step away from Billy Bragg-inspired punk: we would like you to meet local boys A Thousand Suns.

Laden with driven riffs and hooks, they are quite possibly the progeny of early Lost Prophets, Incubus and Hundred Reasons sharing a bed together. Their parents must be so proud. If they can’t get you singing along then you need a slap.

Following that spectacle are Liverpudlians The Idiot Rate, with their own brand of rock, big melodies, Waxwing-esque vocals, throaty screams and enough energy to get the dead up and dancing.

Having supported Enter Shikari and Still Remains, their future is looking good, so you don’t want to miss these guys.

Finally, the night explodes with Killthearcade. These guys blew the pants off the crowd when they recently toured with the New Yorkers Men, Women and Children, so imagine how good they will be in Cardiff.

Killthearcade’s brand of post-hardcore (with a touch of emo to make it tastily accessible) will take these guys far, so go and see them so you can tell your grandkids that you saw them, and the other bands on the bill, before they got huge.

The Last Pirate - 28 Feb @ Sherman Theatre... Enter Shikari - 1 March @ SU... Towers of London - 2 March @ Barfly...

Limehouse Lizzy - 2 March @ The Point...Journey -9 March @ CIA...Thea Gilmore - 15 March @ The Point... Faultline & Exit No Exit - 20 March @ Sherman Theatre... Moll Flanders - 22 March @ The Sherman Theatre... My Chemical Romance - 25 March @ CIA...Kelly Jones - 25 March @ Coal Exchange...The Horrors - 30 March @ Barfly...Dopamine 12 April @ Barfly...Manic Street Preachers - 11/12 May @ SU...

gairrhydd 37

LISTINGS

FEBRUARY.19.2007 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

rst Cut Awards final heat; Oddosc Presents.

Monday

19/02

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative night, featuring bands, a heavy rock room and a generally sweaty, rocked-out atmosphere. Also features DJing by Oddsoc and bands put on by LMS in the live music room. 10pm - 2am. Free entry with NUS. £3 otherwise.

Vodka Island @ Tiger Tiger Wales’s superclub. 9.30pm - 2am. £4.

Chamber Music Recital: BBC National Orchestra Of Wales @ St David's Hall Featuring the Quintillion Ensemble and Waka Hasegawa on piano. 1pm. £5.50.

Eric Faulkner @ St David’s Hall Acoustic performance from the former Bay City Roller, who will also perform songs by artists ranging from Pink Floyd to Tom Petty.

Supprted by finalist for ‘Welsh Woman of the Year’, urban folk performer Cheryl Beer.

The Jazz Attic @ Cafe Jazz Jam with the house jazz trio. All instruments and singers are welcome. £2/£1 if you perform. Arrive early.

Tuesday 20/02

Wednesday 21/02

Thursday 22/02

Planet Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bach Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth.” 9pm - 2pm. £3.

Kickback @ Buffalo Bar Open mic night by LMS. 7.30pm. Free.

Daytime Concert: Discovering Music: BBC National Orchestra Of Wales @ St David's Hall Flos Campi by Vaughan Williams is today’s piece, and the concert also features a presentation about the piece and the opportunity to ask questions. 2pm. £7.50.

Little Man Tate @ The Point Little Man Tate are the latest Sheffield-based band, who, yes, have been compared to those other stewards of Northern indie pop, the Kaiser Chiefs. However, there are far, far worse bands to be compared to, and LMT’s mix of humourous lyrics and catchy melodies should float your boat. 7.30pm. £8.

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Clubbing for jocks and pretend jocks, with a different fancy dress theme most weeks.

Surprisingly, it is a huge sell out, mostly due to those of a sporting persuasion. 10pm. £3.

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs. On one, classic funk and motown; on another, indie classics and brand new music, and on the final floor, cheese. 9.30pm. £3.

Eat The DJ @ Buffalo Bar Laidback club night. 9pm - 3am. Free.

Cheapskates @ Metros.

Indie, alternative and a dash of cheese mixed together to create a good blend of atmosphere, great music and, being Metros, extreme heat. £6 entry, but for your money you get house doubles for the slightly odd price of £1.09. 8pm-3pm.

Mainly Mozart: Denise Leigh @ St David's Hall Denise Leigh was the co-winner of Channel 4's ‘opera idol’ show Operatunity, so is hopefully a decent singer. For more information, contact venue directly.

El Tanbura @ The Point El Tanbura is an Eastern show that incorporates song, dance, humour and the audience itself into the performance. 7.30pm. £9.50.

Rattlesnake Remedy @ Barfly Club Rattlesnake Remedy are a hard rock band who play decadent, energetic music, and are said to be particularily good live. Touring their debut album Magic Man. 8pm. £5.

Just Kidding: Spooky Goings On!: The Chuckle Brothers @ St David's Hall Chuckle chuckle vision, chuckle chuckle vision, chuckle chuckle vision. Sorry. Maybe this is the ultimate level of student irony, or maybe this is just crap. You decide. 1.30pm. £12.

Flags of Our Fathers @ Chapter Arts Centre Clint Eastwood-directed film set in 1945 during World War II. Stars Ryan Phillippe. 6pm / 8.30pm. £5.10.

The Bait Shop @ Barfly For fans of alternative music, the Barfly has handily provided this club night, named after the same establishment frequented on The O.C. It will minister to all your musical needs, from The Shins to Basement Jaxx.

10.30pm. £3/2 NUS. Battle of the Bands @ Talybont Social Heat 4. 7.30pm. Free.

John Hilling @ Cardiff Castle (Coopers Field) The Welsh author gives a lecture at Cardiff's Civic Centre. 6pm. £6.

Innocence & Exuberance: Josie Long @ The Glee Club Josie Long is a comedienne who won the Best Newcomer award at the 2005 Chortle Awards. Comedy lovers should check her out.

For more information visit www.glee.co.uk.

7.30pm. £5 NUS. Dave Arcari @ Blues Dragon Club, Gower Hotel Dave Arcari is the Radiotones frontman who has ‘gone blues’. Switching from electric guitar to a steel-bodied blues guitar model, you can expect slide guitar, a bit o’ country and the requisite Delta blues. 8pm. £3.50 / £3.

Kill The Arcade / The Idiot Rate / A Thousand Suns / The Cut Ups @ Barfly Oddsoc-curated indie and rock night. For in depth information on the bands see the preview opposite. 7.30pm. £5.

Pick Of The Day The Grates / The Blood Arm @ Barfly The Grates are musically situated in the Sixties, with their particular flavour of rockpop described by ents24.com as, “Instantly memorable as 60s girl group classics or even early Blondie.” High praise indeed. Also playing, The Blood Arm bring another element to plundering the musical past, this time harking back to the likes of The Doors with a sprinkling of The Strokes to add a modern edge to their retro rock. 7.30pm. £8.

Pick Of The Day The Secret Show @ Clwb Ifor Bach Alt country lead by Matt Davies, frontman of hardcore rockers Funeral For A Friend.

The Secret Show, a Ryan Adams/Wilcoinspired alt. country group, are the exact opposite of Funeral For A Friend, yet Davies claims that the dichotomy is not as extreme as it sounds. He says: “ I grew up on country music. My dad would always play Gram Parsons and The Eagles around the house. I remember hearing Déjà Vu by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young and being totally floored by the harmonies, the way the lyrics told a story. It was a big part of my youth.” Their debut album Impressionist Road Map Of The West was recorded around Funeral For A Friend commitments and will be released later this year on Atlantic Records. For fans of the aforementioned Adams, this could be worth a look.

8pm. £10.

Hollywoodland @ Chapter Arts Centre Film starring Adrien Brody, Diane Lane and Ben Affleck. The story, directed by Allen Coulter, is based on the true story of former Superman tv actor George Reeves, played by Affleck, who died in mysterious circumstances in his apartment in 1959. Brody plays the detective who investigates Reeves’ death, exposing the corruption inherent in old Hollywood. 6.15pm. £5.10.

Friday 23/02

Saturday 24/02

Sunday 25/02

Access all Areas @ Solus SU New Look Friday...Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. Promises the best alternative music and beats for you to boogie to. 10pm - 2am. £3.50 / £3 adv.

The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Music for those who love music. An indie and retro night that takes in the heady landscape created by the likes of Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Dusty Springfield.

10pm – 2.30am. £3.50 / £4.

Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV comperes an indietastic night of your favourite alternative music, ranging from the Strokes to the Smiths to absolutely everything in between. 10.30pm - 2am. £5.

Beneath the Surface: Leave the Capital / Truckers of Husk / These Things Take Time Friday @ Clwb Ifor Bach Live music from the latest local and upcoming bands. 8pm. £4 / £5.

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room. Traffic (DJ and clubbing society) playing house music in the other. 10pm. £3.50.

Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. Surprisingly, it’s nothing to do with fly swatters. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. The Reasoning / Touchstone @ The Point Album launch night. The Reasoning features Rachel Jones, formerly of Karnataka, and Matthew Cohen, formerly of Magenta. Dylan Thomson and Gareth Jones harmonise, which sounds very nice. Also playing are Touchstone, who will perform an array of cover versions by artists ranging from Coldplay to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

Don’t miss it. 7.30pm. £8.

The Draytones / We Are Trees / The Strand @ Barfly The Strand are a four-piece band from Hartlepool. They consist of Sci (lead guitar/vocals), Ryan (rhythm guitar/vocals), Wayne (bass) and Gat (drums) and play indie/rock inspired by The Libertines. We Are Trees are garage rock influnced and you can get more information by visiting www.wearetrees.co.uk. Lastly, The Draytones play indie pop for your pleasure. 7.30pm. £5 Orchestral Concert Series: London Philharmonic Orchestra @ St David’s Hall A performance of two heroic works: Brahms’ Second Piano Concerto, and another work by Sibelius. 7.30pm. £10.

Babel @ Chapter Arts Centre Multi-Oscar-nominated film from the director of 21 Grams, Alejandro González Iñárritu.

Stars Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett and Mohamed Akhzam. Like his previous work, the film is concerned with fate and seemingly random acts. The lives of four separate groups are spread over three continents.

Recommended: Empire has said that it contains, “great performances, searing imagery, heart-stopping moments and surprising flashes of humour.” Go and see it. 8pm. £5.10.

Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere where you can experience live acoustic acts, songwriters and performers, as well as participating yourself if you so desire, and share your musical talent with the rest of the world (OK, a small part of Cardiff). 8pm - 3am. £1.

The Hop @ Buffalo Bar The resident DJs present 50s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. 8pm 3am. Free.

Young Sinfonia @ The Gate Arts Centre A programme of music which includes Mozart’s Symphony No 35 (Haffner). 8pm. £6 / £8.

James Hollingsworth @ The Beverley Hotel, Pontcanna A British singer / songwriter / guitarist who has perfomed both solo and with the band Jebo. His guitar technique is rated, reminiscent of Spanish guitar playing. He has spent the last 10 years playing in various groups so this could be a promising performance. 9pm.

Contact venue for price.

Meltdown & Radio Wales’s Jazz Connections DJ Andy Roberts Presents: Freak Unique / Ruby Samba / Adrian Hughes / Turkish Dancing / Siluria / Kitty Bevan Quintet / Blues Guys @ Clwb Ifor Bach Freak Unique are a trio who play an energetic mix of jazz/rock/hip hop/funk. They started out as an improvisional group so you can expect good musicianship. 8pm. £4 /£3 concessions.

Pick Of The Day Steve Williams / Richard Morton / Mickey D / Greg Davies @ The Glee Club Comedy night followed by late bar & disco.

A night of multiple comic fun with performers from different walks of life. Mickey D is a young comic hailing from Australia, while Davies is ITV’s ‘Take the Mic’ 2003 runnerup. Richard Morton is a Geordie who delivers observations on life in a self-deprecating manner in comic songs, and a former winner of Time Out’s ‘Comedian of the Year’. Lastly, the very tall Welsh comedian Steve Williams, who has kept in touch with traditional values, including the reputed love of sheep. Visit www.glee.co.uk for further information. 7.45pm. £6.50.

Stephen Brodsky's Octave Museum / Clouds / Jacobs Stories @ Barfly Indie band fun. 7.30pm. £6.50.

Letz Zep @ The Point Classic Zeppelin tribute band. Go and see them. 7.30pm. £10.

Pick Of The Day Odin Dragonfly / Brooke / Wolves Of St August @ Barfly Odin Dragonfly are a female, multi-instrumental duo who make music featuring flute, piano, guitar, and of course their vocal harmonies. Influenced by artists like Kate Bush, Tori Amos and Joni Mitchell. If slightly floaty, confessional, female rock music is your thing then you will like this. 7.30pm. £7.

Pick Of The Day Miaw Miaw Miaw Present: Flowers From Hell / Black Hand Laser Band / White Noise Sound @ Clwb Ifor Bach Psychadelic shoe-gazing heaven, according to Clwb Ifor Bach. Flowers Of Hell consist of members from British Sea Power, The Tindersticks and The Early Years. They make music reminiscent of The Velvet Underground and Nico. Their eponymous debut album was produced by Tim Holmes from Death In Vegas and released by Earworm Records. 8pm. £4.

VENUES Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

38 gairrhydd

SPORT

FEBRUARY.19.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

Law A leave it late to salvage draw TITLE CHALLENGERS Law A scored a last-minute goal to secure a point and go top of the Premiership in a thriller against champions Cardiff A. After falling 9-7 down with two minutes left, Law Goal-Shooter, Liz Oyange, held her nerve to score two late goals which could prove to have a significant impact on the title race.

But although Law have opened up a crucial one-point lead over Economics A, the two high-flying sides still have to play each other this Wednesday in what has been billed as the titledecider.

Afterwards, the Law A captain, Hannah Jennings, praised her team's spirit and said: “I was very impressed with our performance. Everyone tried hard, kept focused and never stopped fighting throughout.

“There was a lot of positives to take from the game and we believe we have a good chance of winning [the Premiership]”.

Nonetheless, champions Cardiff A still have a realistic chance of retaining their title as this latest victory has left them only three points adrift of the new league leaders.

In response, Cardiff A captain, Claire Moseley, admitted: “We’re desperate to win the title.”

She added: “The second half seemed so much longer than the first and this was frustrating. But we’re happy with a draw in the end.”

Both sides battled ferociously in the opening exchanges and defences initially came out on top. Cardiff were perhaps guilty of attempting too many long-range passes in a bid to dispatch the ball to their attackers more speedily. In response, the Law defence frequently held firm when this tactic was used.

However, the Cardiff back line was also tested early on as their GoalKeeper, Moseley, made a crucial inter-

IMG FOOTBALL MATCHES WERE POSTPONED LAST WEEK DUE TO WATERLOGGED PITCHES. TAKE NOTE OF THE FIXTURES PRINTED BELOW. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUERIES, PLEASE SEE IMG COORDINATOR, ALEX McINTOSH.

menon on the match NETBALL

NUMBER OF GOALS: 130 goals, 18.57 goals per game.

GOLDEN GIRLS: CARBS A scored a total of 15 goals SURPRISE PACKAGE: Cardiff B pulled off a surprise 14-11 victory over high-flying Economics A EPIC GAME: Law A v Cardiff A was a hard-fought game which lived up to expectations CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Law A just don’t know how to lose at the moment. A great fightback.

TEAM OF THE WEEK: Cardiff B upset the odds and pulled off a marvellous win against prreviously unbeaten Economics A. Brilliant

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 21 Feb

Thunderkatz Gym Gym Engin AFC Cathays

v v v v

CARBS AFC History MOMED Zoology

Butthead FC H. Dragons Chem Soc Pharm AC

v v v v

Boca Seniors Arse’Alona Law B Law A

J-Unit Inter Me-Nan Crusaders Psycho Ath.

v v v v

Economics JOMEC Real Ale Socsi

Uni Hallstars Park Rangers Euros English Soc

v v v v

Myg Myg Esplanyol TWNN Japsoc

TENSION: Unbearable

IMG Football

Premiership P

W

D

L

Diff

1

Zoology

0

0

0

0

0

0

2

MOMED

0

0

0

0

0

0

3

Gym Gym

0

0

0

0

0

0

4

Engin

0

0

0

0

0

0

5

AFC History

0

0

0

0

0

0

6

CARBS

0

0

0

0

0

0

7

Thunderkatz

0

0

0

0

0

0

8

AFC Cathays

0

0

0

0

0

0

P

W

IMG Football PHOTO: James Perou

Law A 9 - 9 Cardiff A

ception to prevent Law from scoring.

But Law eventually broke the deadlock moments later thanks to a strike from Oyange. However, Cardiff soon bounced back as goals from their Goal-Shooter, Lucy Banks, and GoalAttack, Lowri Harry, gave last year's champions a 2-1 lead.

Although Law grabbed a quick-fire equaliser following another Oyange strike, Cardiff soon restored their advantage as Banks grabbed her second goal of the game.

As the half-time whistle approached, Law squandered four excellent goal-scoring opportunities before Harry made the score 4-2 after receiving a fantastic long pass from Centre, Lara van Eijkern.

In a gripping second period, Banks increased Cardiff's lead to 5-2 before Law Goal-Attack, Jennings, reduced the deficit with her first goal of the match.

As emotions began to reach boiling point in freezing conditions, both sides cancelled each other out by scoring four goals each in a fascinating passage of play.

Whenever Law pulled a goal back and piled on the pressure, Cardiff always managed to respond in the best possible way - by storming up the pitch and finding the target themselves.

But although Cardiff's work rate and potency in front of goal was admirable throughout, Law only had themselves to blame for missing an array of chances throughout proceedings.

When Cardiff led 9-7 in the closing stages, it appeared the three points were heading their way. However, Law simply refused to give up and their unflinching determination saved them from suffering their first Premiership defeat.

For the first time in the match, Law managed to maintain possession for a sustained period and pushed the Cardiff players deeper into their own half.

And eventually their pressure paid off as Law converted two priceless goals from close range to level the PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

Dave Menon Sports Editor

Football Tables

Division One D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Law B

0

0

0

0

0

0

2

Pharm AC

0

0

0

0

0

0

3

Arse’Alona

0

0

0

0

0

0

4

Boca Seniors

0

0

0

0

0

0

5

Law A

0

0

0

0

0

0

6

Butthead FC

0

0

0

0

0

0

7

H. Dragons

0

0

0

0

0

0

8

Chem Soc

0

0

0

0

0

0

P

W

IMG Football

Economics suffer defeat Dave Menon Sports Editor

Econ A 11 - 14 Cardiff B ECONOMICS A suffered a major setback as they lost their first game of the season to an outstanding Cardiff B side.

With only two games remaining, Economics A have slipped from top to second in the Premiership table after rivals Law A salvaged a priceless point against Cardiff A. But despite falling victim to this untimely defeat, Economics captain, Katie Darlow, was optimistic about her side's chances of securing the title.

She said: “A big goal difference against Pharmacy [A] and Law [A] can still enable us to win [the Premiership]. After losing this game, we are even more determined.”

As the match began at a frantic pace, an array of goals flew in at both ends as Cardiff B accelerated into a surprise 5-3 lead.

But shortly before the interval, Economics fought back and levelled the match following a quick brace from their hardworking GoalAttack, Kate Sharland.

Yet on the stroke of half-time, there was still enough time for Cardiff B to restore their advantage, as Goal-Shooter, Kirsty Yeoman, made the score 6-5.

And things didn't immediately improve for Economics after the

IMG Netball Fixtures

break as Cardiff B Goal-Attack, Ameneh Sholeh, added a seventh goal.

However, a resurgent Economics responded well as Sharland found the target again. Their joy was short-lived though, as Cardiff advanced up the pitch and netted again to lead 8-6.

Although Economics showed plenty of effort and enthusiasm throughout, Cardiff B used their physical presence to outmuscle their opponents. Moreover, Cardiff always appeared to have a cutting edge when going forward and they regularly turned attacks into goals through clinical finishing.

While Sharland struck twice to level the tie at 8-8, Cardiff swiftly piled on the pressure and stretched their lead once again to 12-8, following further strikes from Sholeh and Yeoman.

With the result almost beyond doubt, a spirited Economics hit back as Goal-Shooter, Jo Masterson, reduced the deficit to three goals. But their misery was compounded when Cardiff converted a thirteenth goal to effectively seal the points.

As both teams cancelled each other out near the end by scoring additional goals, time eventually ran out for Economics who eventually lost 14-11.

And critically, their title hopes are now hanging in the balance.

For full details of IMG Netball fixtures, log on to www.fixs.co.uk and follow the links.

IMG Netball Results

Sat 17 Feb SAWSA Locomotive Law B D. Tigers

v v v v

Medics Socsi B Economics B CARBS B

Wed 21 Feb Cardiff Economics Pharmacy Cardiff

A A A B

v v v v

CARBS A Law A Socsi A Christ. Union

Economics B Socsi B Medics Locomotive

v v v v

SAWSA CARBS B Dynamo Tigers Law B

Wed 14 Feb CARBS A 15 Econ A 11 Law A 9 Socsi A 9

-

5 Pharmacy A 14 Cardiff B 9 Cardiff A 8 Christ. Union

Optometry 1 IWC A 14 Automotive N Pharmacy B 9

-

14 IWC B 8 English B N English A 4 Gym Gym

N- Result not in.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUERIES, PLEASE SEE IMG COORDINATOR, ALEX McINTOSH.

Pts

Division Two D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Socsi

0

0

0

0

0

0

2

Real Ale Madrid

0

0

0

0

0

0

3

JOMEC

0

0

0

0

0

0

4

Economics

0

0

0

0

0

0

5

J-Unit

0

0

0

0

0

0

6

Psycho Ath.

0

0

0

0

0

0

7

C. Crusaders

0

0

0

0

0

0

8

Inter Me-Nan

0

0

0

0

0

0

P

W

IMG Football

Division Three D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Japsoc

0

0

0

0

0

0

2

TWNN

0

0

0

0

0

0

3

Myg Myg

0

0

0

0

0

0

4

Esplanyol

0

0

0

0

0

0

5

Uni Hallstars

0

0

0

0

0

0

6

English Soc

0

0

0

0

0

0

7

Euros

0

0

0

0

0

0

8

Park Rangers

0

0

0

0

0

0

* Team has been deducted 1 point

Netball Tables IMG Netball

Premiership P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Law A

5

4

1

0

33

13

2

Economics A

5

4

0

1

6

12

3

Cardiff A

5

3

1

1

11

10

4

CARBS A

5

3

0

2

15

9

5

Cardiff B

5

2

0

3

-24

6

6

Pharmacy A

5

1

0

4

-5

3

7

Christian Union

5

1

0

4

-9

3

8

Socsi A

5

1

0

4

-27

3

P

W

IMG Netball

Division One D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Dynamo Tigers

5

5

0

0

24

15

2

Economics B

5

4

0

0

26

12

3

Medics

4

3

0

1

13

9

4

SAWSA

5

2

1

2

12

7

5

CARBS B

4

2

0

2

-5

6

6

Locomotive

5

1

1

3

-3

4

7

Law B

5

1

0

4

-21

3

8

Socsi B

5

0

0

5

-46

0

P

W

IMG Netball

Division Two D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Pharmacy B

6

4

1

1

45

13

2

IWC A

6

4

0

2

5

12

3

English A

5

3

2

0

31

11

4

IWC B

5

3

0

2

11

9

5

English B

6

2

0

4

-7

6

6

Optometry

6

2

0

4

-32

6

7

Gym Gym

4

1

1

2

-2

4

8

Automotive

4

0

0

4

-51

0

gairrhydd

39

SPORT

FEBRUARY.19.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

comment

Rafalution

Cemlyn Davies assesses the implications of the Gillett/Holt takeover for Liverpool FC, and for the British game THE WAVE OF foreign investment from the United States into the Barclays Premiership has reached Merseyside, as the takeover of Liverpool Football Club by the American tycoons George Gillett and Tom Hicks was completed at the start of the month.

The takeover of Britain’s most successful club follows the recent takeovers of both Manchester United and Aston Villa by American investors.

The move, which marks “the beginning of a new era for the club” according to Chief Executive Rick Parry, brings a three-year search for investment to an end, and came only days after the Dubai International Capital bid collapsed in the wake of fresh proposals from the Americans.

During these three years, intense negotiations have taken place between David Moores – the chairman replaced

by Gillett and Hicks – and the Thai Prime Minister, whilst discussions were also held with the building magnate Steve Morgan over the possibility of a takeover.

It is however, the joint bid of Gillett and Hicks – two businessmen who have made a name for themselves in American and Canadian sport – that has ended the Moores family’s fiftyyear ownership of the club.

But what does this latest takeover of a Premiership club mean for Liverpool and for the Premier league?

Over the last few years it became apparent that Liverpool were in desperate need of financial investment if they were to be in a position to compete with Manchester United and Chelsea, both on and off the field, and ultimately

realise their dream of winning the elusive 19th league title their fans crave so much.

In recent years the club’s inability to compete in the transfer market has seen them lose out on signing players such as Theo Walcott, Daniel Alves and the Portuguese forward Simao, while the club’s gate receipts remain miniscule compared to those of the Old Trafford club.

The idea of losing Anfield and the world-famous Kop does not appeal to most Kopites Gillett and Hicks’ takeover addresses these issues. The new owners have set money aside for the building of a new 60,000-seater stadium in nearby Stanley Park, and have also promised manager Rafa Benitez the money he needs to sign the players necessary to take Liverpool to the next level.

“We've not got a budget for what we're going to do. Rafa [Benitez] and Rick [Parry] will bring their plans to us and we'll support these” said Hicks, before adding; “We are going to build the finest team for the finest stadium in the Premier League and that is Liverpool.”

A point that is sure to split Liverpool fans however was Gillett’s comment that the pair would consider selling the naming rights for the new stadium. “If the naming rights are worth one great player a year in transfer spending.”

This could of course be viewed as a practical approach, but perhaps one that will cause concern for the die-hard Liverpool fans, who value the traditions and history of their football club above all else.

The idea of losing

Liverpool fans will certainly be expecting to be part of that title-race

Anfield and the world-famous Kop does not appeal to most Kopites.

However, according to Gillett, the fans would be wrong in assuming that this takeover is all about money and that these tycoons have no regard for the club’s history.

Gillett maintained; “Money is not our number one objective. Near the top of that list would be winning, passion, legacy and respect for history and tradition.”

Liverpool therefore, are about to enter football’s new world; a world characterised by billionaires, dollars and roubles, and will soon be preparing to play in a brand new ground (the Adidas Arena perhaps?).

Scouse fans are beginning to dream the American dream and are frantically scribbling their wish lists of summer signings across the Internet’s football fora.

For the Premier league as a whole the implications of this takeover are more mixed. Chelsea have shown with the signings of players such as Michael Ballack and Andrei Schevchenko that investment can lead to the arrival of several world-class players to the Premier league, and in so-doing, can improve the stan dard of the football within the divi-

sion, increasing the entertainment offered to fans across the country and further afield.

The recently negotiated £625 mil-

Liverpool are about to enter football’s new world; a world characterised by billionaires, dollars and roubles lion global TV deal starting next season provides evidence of this.

Will this be to the detriment of young British players however? Some are already seeing their chances of making the grade wiped out by the stamping of another world-class player’s passport.

Such a reality could only threaten the future success of the UK’s national sides, for if the players aren’t playing for their clubs at a high level week-inweek-out, they cannot be expected to perform against the top players from the top footballing countries in World

Cups and European Championships.

Another threat posed by takeovers of this nature is the widening of the gulf between the so-called ‘Big 4’ (Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester United and Chelsea) and the rest of the division.

This could transform the most exciting league in the world into a much more dull and predictable affair, hardly what the 208 countries that have agreed TV deals will be wanting.

From next season onwards, following the arrival of the first ‘Gillett-andHicks’ signing, Liverpool will be working towards closing the gap on Manchester United and Chelsea in the hope of turning the current two-horse race into a more exciting championship tussle.

What neutral football fans must hope for is that a more exciting title race will make up for a duller league season in general.

Liverpool fans will certainly be expecting to be part of that title-race, and while they remain insulated in a bubble of euphoria following the American takeover, they will care little for the league’s smaller teams.

Rather, they will be dreaming of number 19.

Sport gairrhydd

Page 38

IMG Netball title race blown wide open

INSET PHOTOS: ADAM GASSON

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

The legendary Arms Park to play host to the 12th Annual Varsity Rugby match between Cardiff and Swansea

ARMS PARK: the new home for the showpiece event of the Cardiff/ Swansea Varsity. INSETS: Playing and celebrating last year’s victory

ARMS OPEN FOR VARSITY

George Pawley Sports Editor

THE SHOWPIECE of the 12th Accenture Welsh Varsity Challenge, the Cardiff versus Swansea Men’s Rugby match, will be played at the historic Cardiff Arms Park on April 25th, the AU has announced.

The contest is returning to the home of the Cardiff Blues after a six year absence, and it is hoped the stadium will be filled by 10,000 spectators for the game.

The stadium hosted the Welsh national side’s matches for over 100 years until it was replaced by it’s new younger brother, the Millennium Stadium, in 1999.

Possibly the most memorable

moment witnessed by the ground was the try scored by Ieuan Evans against Scotland in 1988, described by acclaimed rugby commentator Bill McLaren as: “Magic, magic all the way, not even Merlin the Magician could have done any better.” The try was voted as the Greatest Welsh Try Of All Time in 2002.

Over £7000 was raised for the Welsh Charitable Trust last year, a figure which may well be improved upon in this year’s Varsity Challenge, as Cardiff look to retain the trophy again after overwhelming success last year.

The 2006 Challenge was dominated

by Cardiff, as the University swept to victory, winning 13 of the contests against their west Wales counterparts.

In the feature match, Cardiff’s Rugby Men’s 1st XV took the game 15

– 5 in a tightly-fought and typically fiery contest at Bridgend’s Brewery Field.

Furthermore, a cricket fixture will return to the Varsity card, meaning there will be a total of 24 match-ups.

However, there is price to be paid for playing the Rugby fixture at the illustrious stadium; heavy stewarding will prevent any streakers from gracing the hallowed turf, and anyone caught could face arrest and a night sobering up in prison, due to the WRU’s strict ground provisions.

AU President James Woodroof, who orchestrated the move to the Arms Park, commented on the benefits of playing at the arena, saying: ”It’s a tremendous privilege to be playing at Cardiff Arms Park as it truly is the home of Welsh Rugby.

It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for some of the squad members which I’m sure they’ll grab with both of their egg-catching hands; I’m confident that we can regain the Varsity trophy.”

Tickets will be on sale from March 12 and prices will range from £6 for the first 1000 tickets sold, £8 in advance after that, to £10 on the door, while as always, foam fingers and t-shirts will be available to purchase. gair rhydd

Heavy stewarding will stop any streakers from gracing the hallowed turf SUCCESS SWINGING win Cardiff golf team Division One Page 33

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WHAT A LO AD OF VARSE

again cheak: Once Bare faced ned the Varsity uphold streakers entertai Cardiff couldn’t 25-11 crowd, but going down the good mood, to Swansea

For more information about the day’s events and how to buy tickets, visit www.cardiffstudents.com/varsity

perhaps rforming, while Such under-penot be repeated if Cardiff must aim of promoexcusable, their ultimate

By John StantonEditor are to achieve g season Deputy Sports tion. ly promisin failure 1st XV were Cardiff’s previous brink of abject on UNIVERSITY’Syear’s glorious teeters on the vital promoti CARDIFF relive last succumbed 25- now if they squander their be raised surely unable to and, they will s as ity. ity, question the universi Varsity triumph of rugby at nting opportun Swansea Univers 11 to rivals was particularly disappoi con- about the structure annual a second The defeat ty. in the sport’s as to were high of doubts as expectations victory.

Failure to perform must raise in could not secutive Varsity showcase event progress is being made the performance A spirited Cardiff between the two dom- whether enough bid to become in class ty’s stated academic instituhide the gulf Welsh university rugby. the universi playing in Co-ordirugby forces t inant Development with strongesthe UK. determi ne Full-time Rugby the man charged tion in weeks may Evans, able finannext few fortunes, was nator Adrian The ty’s consider ty’s ‘I the universi the universi performance, be justified. improving his team’s we whether in rugby can frustrated with because I didn’t think our cial investment nted and s disappoi ourselve was account of gave a proper

gair rhydd on Varsity 2005: Arms Park rules will prevent the common sight of a streaker on pitch

GAIR RHYDD AND QUENCH MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF UNIVERSITY AMIRA WANTS ED SO DAMN Uni MUCH HER HUGE BREASTS ACHE RENNISON SAYS: “ED’S THE WINER AND DINER OF THE MALES” MUSIC WILL THINKS JUDITH KEPPELL IS IN DR. WHO TIT RENNISON THINKS ISrdAiffGENIUS TIT ARE YOU FREE, RIDLER 25 - 11 Ca aMENON se an Sw UW THE FIDDLER? MENONPAUSE ADAM AND PERRI DO BENADRYL TOGETHER HARRISON SLAMMED THROUGH TABLE BY MYSTERY WRESTLER MENON’S STDS LISTED AS PART OF HEALTH MONTH RENNISON AND HELEN IN A TREE ability.’

: PAGE VARSITY SHIELD

35

REPORT AND FULL MATCHPAGE 34 AND 35 REACTION:

AT ! PRINTED , POST OFFICE ER AT THE WRITTEN, DESIGNED ED AS A NEWSPAP GAIR RHYDD IS 434 ! REGISTERPUBLISHERS ! THE THE 1400 EXT. THOSE OF (029) 2078 3QN ! TEL: ARE NOT NECESSARILY D CARDIFF CF10 PARK PLACE, ! THE VIEWS EXPRESSE TIONS TY UNION CARDIFF, CONTRIBU D BY UNIVERSI TO EDIT ALL IS PUBLISHE THE RIGHT MAGAZINE RESERVES AND QUENCH GAIR RHYDD GAIR RHYDD IN PETERBOROUGH !

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gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

FEBRUARY.19.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM the voice of gairrhydd

freewords Est. 1972

Ay Crumb-a THE STUDENTS spoke and the University listened. We asked for better sporting facilities and now, just a few weeks after the Invest in Sport campaign began, we’ve been promised £175,000 to be put towards a much-needed Rubber Crumb pitch.

Cardiff students haven’t campaigned on a home-grown issue for such a long time that we forgot the rewards it reaped. Yes, having the Union President lobby in the ViceChancellor’s office can bring with it success, but there’s nothing like the united voice of the student body to really get it what it wants.

There’s a real chance that this could be the start of something; student activism followed by the University showing that they care about what their students wants by putting their hand in their pocket and forking out the cash.

We now know that together we can get things done around this place: even if it’s just joining a Facebook group or wearing a sticker to lectures, we’ve seen through the Invest in Sport campaign that it can work.

Let’s hope that this is a new age for students in Cardiff – a return to a politically charged, passionate student body who fight for what they want and don’t shut up until they get it.

Follow their lead?

IT WAS A controversial and no doubt difficult decision to make, but banning drinking games from Exeter Union premises was the only thing that their AU President could do. Although such a strict ruling may not have been entirely necessary, he had to be seen to act after the awful death of one of their students after a night of binging with his team mates.

But just because Exeter have done it, this doesn’t mean that Cardiff should automatically follow suit. We already have rules and procedures that inhibit dangerous drinking behaviour: our anti-bullying policy means we can throw out sports teams who pressure members to drink and our fully-trained bar staff can refuse to serve drinks to those who have already had too much.

To rule against our students playing drinking games would be hard to police and quite unnecessary. It may also have the adverse effect; driving our students out of the Union where the staff have a duty to protect them, into town bars where their safety is not the prime concern, may endanger them more.

Read the editors’ blog online htttp://freeword.gairrhydd.com

11

Genetic selection Katy Gorman discusses the ethical implications of the new, non-invasive genetic scan on pregnant women

A

baby has been legally aborted in the UK at seven months because tests showed it had a cleft palate.

Abortion has been an ongoing source of debate for decades now. The woman’s right to choose versus the pro-life campaign has the potential for great dispute and both sides have been stated many times. Up until recently, the argument for abortion has assumed that the mother does not want a child because of her particular circumstances. Now there is an extra complication as, rather than not wanting a child, it seems the mother may not want the particular child that she is carrying.

In 2003, the NHS launched a screening process designed to test foetuses for genetic conditions. The process is able to detect whether the baby will be born with genetic defects such as Down’s syndrome, a disorder associated with learning difficulty, heart problems and a susceptibility to leukaemia. The screening service is offered to all 760,000 women who fall pregnant in the UK every year, at an estimated cost of £15,300 to the NHS per Down’s syndrome pregnancy detected. 62% of all Down’s syndrome cases are now diagnosed while still in the womb and 92% of those affected choose to abort.

Under the law, abortions after 24 weeks are meant to be carried out only in cases of serious handicap. The 1967 Abortion Act states that such action can take place after 24 weeks only if “there is a substantial risk that if the child were born it would suffer from physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped”. Crucially, there is no further definition of “seriously handicapped”. Instead, the legislation depends on the discretion of parents and doctors.

Although children with Down’s syndrome who also have an untreated heart condition are unlikely to survive into their teens, a child with no other health problems can expect to live up to the age of 60. Many children with the condition can lead happy and fulfilled lives. Abortions for the condition have reached record levels, with terminated pregnancies outstripping the number of infants born with the chromosomal abnormality. In 2004, the most recent year for which records are available, the NHS National Down Syndrome Cytogenetic Register shows that there were 657 live births and an estimated 937 abortions, a three-fold increase over the past 15 years.

Separate figures from the Department of Health reveal that these included 11 late abortions for Down’s syndrome, which took place after the usual 24week limit.

BABIES: The next designer item?

The termination of a foetus in the first weeks of pregnancy is not the same, biologically or morally, as killing a child. The acceptability of abortion depends on that distinction, but disturbingly this crucial distinction is being blurred. Professor Charles Rodeck, of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, has stated, “Whether you regard Down’s as a severe handi cap is a matter of opinion”. An opinion is a very thin basis on which to justify the taking of life.

In any terms it is hard to see how a cleft palate can be considered a severe handicap. One in 700 children are born with a cleft lip and/or palate and the condition can be rectified through a series of corrective surgery. Abortion in this case is based solely on physical reasons and raises the issue of designer babies. If parents are able to be selective of their children so as to eliminate all possible defects, how long will it be before they can choose specific characteristics?

An opinion is a very thin basis on which to justify the taking of life Children are already being genetically selected in order to provide donor matches for siblings suffering from terminal illnesses. Desperate parents are said to be having unborn babies tested and aborted if they do not

match. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority has ruled that embryos cannot be selected for social, physical or psychological characteristics, but cases such as these can be interpreted as selection on physical grounds. Dr Paul Veys, consultant in stem cell transplants at London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital, has said that such cases are worrying as they highlight the “grey area” of genetic screening and could lead to parents eventually being able to choose the eye colour or IQ of their babies.

How long will it be before parents can choose specific characteristics?

As a society we are constantly bombarded with advertisements of products of the highest quality. As the emphasis on consumerism increases it is perhaps not surprising that people have come to expect the same standard from all areas of life, including their offspring. But rather than being swept along with the momentum and propaganda, people should take a step back and realise that children are not a product.

First it begins with babies being aborted because of disabilities, then because they are inappropriate donor matches, then why not because of gender? In 2005 the Baby Gender Mentor was put on the market. For £158 parents are able to identify the sex of their

baby just five weeks after conception.

Sex selection is a growing problem in parts of Asia where a preference for sons is skewing population ratios and leading to Chinese parents killing baby daughters. Ultrasound checks are not carried out until 16 weeks into the pregnancy. Organisations such as Americans United for Life, fear that some women disappointed by the result would find it easier to have an abortion so early in the pregnancy.

Statistics from an affluent area of New Delhi shows that in 2004, for every 1,000 boys, only 762 girls were born.

In India, a number of women are suspected of having abortions until they have at least one male child.

Abortion is a necessity in our society today and the benefits that it has for many people is a positive that should not be withdrawn. The 24-week limit, however, is vital. Despite being an uncomfortable subject, people must take responsibility and ask themselves: what is the difference between an abortion that takes place in the last weeks of pregnancy and infanticide?

How is the abortion of a baby because of a cleft palate different to other physical attributes such as eye colour? The law urgently needs to be altered so that there are rigid guidelines regarding terminations; what exactly constitutes a severe disability and when is a late abortion justified? We, as the general public, must also take responsibility.

The emphasis on perfection has become ridiculous. Not everyone is the same and that is important.

Individuality is something that should never be scientifically selected.

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