Gair Rhydd - Issue 838

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ISSUE 838 MARCH 19 2007

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Jobs&Money on what a sandwich year can do for your career

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Page 25

" More sports facilities !" " Fewer flyers !" " Better relations with !" the Heath campus Samantha Shillabeer Reporter FOR THE FIRST time ever students have spoken out in their thousands about their non-academic experiences at Cardiff University.

Although the university-wide study is still being conducted, early results indicate that there are many

areas that the University and the Union could improve.

Sports facilities, the use of flyers as a method of communication and relations with the Heath were among the main subjects for complaint in the Union-commissioned survey.

The quality of the Union-run support services like the Advice and Representative Centre was highly praised by a huge number of stu-

BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT: Students want to limit the use of promotional flyers

dents, as was the entertainment provisions in Solus and the Taf. The ‘Student Satisfaction’ survey, which is the first of its kind to focus on purely non-academic experiences, has generated nearly 3,000 responses so far.

Questions were asked on all areas of student life, such as accommodation, social life and the quality of services the Union has to offer.

The results of the research will be of particular interest to the newly elected sabbatical team, who will be in place by the end of the week.

Top of the list of complaints was the quality of the transport and sports facilities offered by the Athletic Union and the University.

Around half the students who completed the study at the time of gair rhydd going to print claimed

that the facilities on offer are average or below average.

Many students said that the Union needs to spend more money improving the quality and range of sports equipment. They also made it clear that they want the University to take sport more seriously.

Continued on page six

PHOTO: James Perou

Students speak out about non-academic University life

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MARCH 19 2007 News Editorial & Opinion Column Letters Features Taf-od Science/Environment Health Politics Media Jobs & Money Television Problem Page Five Minute Fun Grab Listings Sport

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! Heath MedClub subject to massive changes

! University proposes a re-development of the site and the creation of many modern facilities

1 9 13 15 16 19 20 22 23 24 25 27 35 36 37 38 40

EDITOR Perri Lewis DEPUTY EDITOR Sophie Robehmed ASSISTANT TO THE EDITOR Elaine Morgan CREATIVE EDITOR Graeme Porteous NEWS Adam Millward, Helen Thompson, Jo Dingle, Katie Kennedy POLITICS Andy Rennison EDITORIAL AND OPINION Ed Vanstone, Georgie SPORT Dave Menon, George Pawley LISTINGS Jenna Harris, Rosaria Sgueglia TELEVISION TV Gareth, TV John, TV Neil, TV Jane, TV Ellen LETTERS Rachel Clare GRAB Kayleigh Excell, Lisa Hocken TAF-OD Huw Pritchard SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Ceri Morgan MEDIA Aline Ungewiss, Nadia Bonjour HEALTH Liz Stauber JOBS AND MONEY Gill Roberts PROBLEM PAGE Grace De Ville FIVE MINUTE FUN Lara Bell PICTURE EDITORS James Perou, Sarah Day SUB EDITOR Cathal McMahon ONLINE EDITOR Paul Springett CONTRIBUTORS Alicia Whitthread, Samantha Shillabeer, James Stileman, Rob Taylor, Abigail Whittaker, Natalie Parkinson, William Taylor, Corinne Rhoades, Tasha PrestSmith, Victoria lane, Matt Cutler, Philippa Jacob, Jo Price, James Temperton, Laura Hinson, Ed Vanstone, Dafydd Sion, Chris White, Tim Hewish, John Triddon, Emily Woodrow, Charlotte Hill Rachel McWhinney, Gordon Lawrence, Claire Moseley, Pete Dean, Rob Taylor, James Kergozou, Jon Berridge, Peter Evans, Paul Hayes, Angharad Jones, Jack Zorab, Alex Joannides PROOF READERS Andy Rennison, Aisling Tempany, Bryony Tallack, Beth Samuel ADDRESS University Union, Park Place Cardiff, CF10 3QN ADVERTISING 02920 781 474 EMAIL gairrhydd@gairrhydd.com WEB www.gairrhydd.com LOCATION 4th Floor Students’ Union

ISSUE 832 FEBRUARY 05 2006

H Q U E N C

Adam Millward News Editor

THE MEDCLUB at Heath Park Campus has been steadily losing thousands in income and now faces a comprehensive overhaul.

Once the heart of the medic student’s social calendar, the MedClub, particularly the bar, has become increasingly over-

looked by the student populace and is now being considered by the University for re-development.

However, there is much concern that the removal of the once-popular bar will result in some students losing an important part of their social life.

Proposals have been put forward to convert the site into a new social space for students and staff working at Heath Park, with a selection of new facilities, open five days a week.

These will include a cyber cafĂŠ and coffee shop, which will serve hot food and beverages; online access to the Cardiff Academic Network and possibly the provision of lockers.

A discussion held at the Heath Forum on December 16, highlighted that students were very keen for the installation of locker facilities as it is not safe to leave property on the Continued on Page Eight

FRONT PAGE: How gair rhydd reported the impending changes

Students speak out about MedClub changes

After initial plans for the changes to the Heath MedClub were released, a poll is set up to see what students think about it Corinne Rhoades Reporter MEDIC STUDENTS are being asked for their feedback on changes to the Heath park campus MedClub.

In February gair rhydd revealed that the club could be under threat of closure unless massive redevelop-

ments were made.

Now an electronic consultation system has been set up on the University’s noticeboard facility to gather students’ ideas and opinions on what changes should take place.

Kate Monaghan, Education and Welfare officer, said there has already been a large and varied response.

While fourth and fifth year medics have expressed a preference to keep the MedClub as a bar, second and third years have complained about the lack of facilities allocated to staff and students only.

Once the feedback has been gathered, a meeting will be arranged to discuss students’ ideas for change.

Modern International postgrads language: to take ‘terrorist test’ a thing of the past?

As fewer universities offer language courses, fears grow over linguistics becoming too middle-class Samantha Shillabeer Reporter FEARS THAT modern languages will become dominated by an elite are growing following the recent closure of language departments at newer universities.

The number of institutions offering single-honours degrees in French, German and Italian has dramatically decreased in the last ten years, especially among former polytechnics.

German has suffered the most, with 25% fewer universities offering the subject than 10 years ago.

But universities in the Russell Group, such as Cardiff University, have not been affected, with some even increasing their range of language degrees on offer.

The divide is thought to stem from the fact that studying a language at GCSE is now optional, with the majority of entrants being from private schools.

This is leading to only more affluent students taking languages at A-level, subsequently causing university language courses to be dominated by the middle-classes.

Martin Durrell, head of German at Manchester University, backed these claims. He said: “Languages have a most unsatisfactory rate of diversity.�

FOREIGN OFFICE: All applications may have to pass through here

Alicia Whitthread Reporter SUSPICIONS THAT international students will take scientific knowledge back to their home countries and contribute to the spread of weapons of mass destruction may lead to a new screening process for science degrees.

At present, universities are able to voluntarily contact the Foreign Office about students from ‘countries of concern’ who wish to study in the UK. However, it has been suggested that the Academic Technology Approval Scheme will soon require non-EU postgraduates who want to study ‘proliferation-risk’ science subjects to apply for approval before they are allowed to study in the UK. Subjects which could be affected include some fields of biological and physical science, engineering, maths and computer science.

The scheme is said to require all foreign postgraduates who need a visa and want to study ‘proliferation-sensitive’ subjects to apply in advance for a ‘clearance certificate’ online.

The system will look at where the students come from, as well as what they want to study and what they intend to do with the knowledge.

Despite good intentions to protect the world against weapons of mass destruction, the student vetting system has come under some scrutiny from the Commons foreign affairs select committee, who have questioned how effective it would be.

Dr Ian Gibson, a former academic and chairman of science and technology select committee, described the move as a “silly over-reaction�, and stated that if someone was a potential terrorist it is unlikely that an online approval scheme would stop them.

The approval scheme website is currently being tested but could be up and running by the summer.

Cardiff Uni breaks new ground Abigail Whittaker Reporter NEW ARCHAEOLOGICAL finds can now be dated more precisely thanks to improved dating techniques developed at Cardiff University.

In the past radiocarbon dating alone has only been able to provide a large range of dates usually spanning 250 years.

The new techniques mean that scientists can now date their discoveries with increased accuracy and look in more detail at individuals’ lives as opposed to just a historic time span.

These procedures have been used to date human bones found at a prehistoric burial site; findings indicate they belong to people who may have died in a massacre in the Neolithic Age. The new evidence suggests that there may have been increased social tension and upheaval during the period between 3625 BC and 3590 BC. The research was undertaken

by English Heritage with the help of Cardiff University and the University of Central Lancashire.

Professor Alasdair Whittle of the Cardiff School of History and Archaeology said: “Up to now, pre-historians have tended to emphasise long-term change, in search of long-running or underlying processes at the expense of short-term events and succession. “This dating programme will help direct the study of prehistory to get much closer to people.�

A DIG: Bringing history to life

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RAGs to riches

PHOTOS: Rob Taylor

RED NOSES, glow sticks and lollipops were donned by Cardiff students last week for the charity event Red Nose Day. Cardiff society Raise and Give (RAG) held fundraising events at Bounce in Walkabout and the Students’ Union last week on Thursday and Friday.

Students who went to Bounce and wore their red noses got to queue jump, and red products were available to buy inside.

A bake sale in the Union with fundraising on the Friday evening at Access All Areas, meant that the society made the event an even bigger success, with the Bounce night alone raising over £500 for the charity.

One of the many organisers, Will Taylor ,said: “Not only was the night great fun, but also a great success. As a society, we are real-

ly pleased with the total.

“We’d all like to say a big thank you to the generosity of the Cardiff students. We hope to continue with students’ help to raise even more money for good causes.”

The next fundraising event organised by RAG, is their second speed-dating event at ‘Fat Cats’ on Greyfriars Road, Sunday March 25.

RAG STUDENTS: Having fun while making money for charity

Back for good?

Alien-orientated television dramas draw throngs of tourists to Cardiff

TAKE THAT: Making sure you’ll never forget them

Samantha Shillabeer Reporter THOUSANDS OF tickets have already been sold for the world premiere of the Take That stage musical which is coming to Cardiff this summer.

Never Forget, which will be staged from July 20 to August 4, is a comedy about the journey of a Take That Tribute band.

Written by Danny Brocklehurst, the musical will feature some of the band’s greatest hits, including ‘Relight My Fire’ and ‘Back For Good’.

It has been compared to the hit musical Mamma Mia, which features the music of Abba.

Producer Tristan Baker said: “We are the biggest fans of Take That’s music and we are so excited about the wonderful opportunity to create a new musical based on the fantastic cata-

A rmchair tourism

logue of their work.”

“We’re delighted that Never Forget will be starting its UK tour at the Wales Millennium Centre in July,” said Judith Isherwood, chief executive of the Wales Millennium Centre. She added: “It is without doubt one of the highlights of our year.”

However, the band has distanced itself from the show, saying that it has ‘absolutely nothing’ to do with them.

James Stileman Reporter TELEVISION shows have propelled Cardiff into the top 10 British short break tourist destinations, according to the travel website TravelSupermarket.com.

In part of a growing trend where popular TV shows boost the tourist trade of the cities in which they are set. Torchwood and Doctor Who have

contributed to Cardiff’s popularity.

Cardiff Bay’s centerpiece fountain acts as the ‘Torchwood hub’ in the recent serial.

A spokesman for Cardiff city council agreed that Torchwood was indeed responsible for raising the profile of Cardiff as a travel destination.

He also said that visitors attracted by the TV series would find that Cardiff has a lot more to offer than just the Doctor Who trail.

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Special Report: News continues its election coverage and questions how

Abigail Whittaker asks students what they think the sabbatical officers do to earn their keep and about their views of the elections thus far, unveiling a wide variety of opinions...

President

Vice-President

gair rhydd Editor

Alex Morgan, first year Maths

Chris Markall, third year Physics

Societies, Postgraduate and International Officer

Brigette Brown, first year Religious Studies (right)

“I think their job would be to make international students feel comfortable in this environment with British culture, and to make the transition easier.

They’d be in charge of running societies and organising events for society members, as well as international and postgraduate students.”

(Chris, third year Physics) Education and Welfare Officer

Stephen Fanner, first year Maths

“The Vice-President would be there to support the President as someone that they could delegate to.

I think they would take responsibility for the welfare of the students to ensure that students benefit as much as possible from their time in Cardiff.”

“I assume the President would oversee and have the final decision for where Union money is spent.

Also, they’d investigate new projects to benefit the students that the Union might decide to invest in and promote these.”

“If you don’t vote, you really can’t have an opinion.”

AU President

Caitlin Foley, second year Spanish and English Lit

Ceri Bayliss, third year Philosophy

“I suppose they’d have to organise the use of pitches for football, rugby, etc and arrange transport where necessary.

I think they’d also be trying to get more money from the University to improve sporting facilities with the ‘Invest in Sport’ campaign.”

“I suppose they’d be the person you’d go to if you felt that you weren’t getting the education that you deserved.

Perhaps on the welfare side you’d go to them if you were having financial difficulties to get some advice and help with some possible solutions.”

“They’d be in control of the stories that the gair rhydd publishes and, in some instances, the direction that the paper takes.

I assume too that they would work in conjunction with the Quench editor on weeks when both are published.”

“I doubt I will vote this year.

I’ve seen a bunch of people using the same marketing methods to further their campaigns so that they’ve got something to put on their CV”.

(Catherinel, first year Philosophy)

“If I do vote, it’ll come down to picking the person with the nicest name.”

(Rachel, first year Mathematics)

So what exactly do the Sabbs do? gair rhydd examines the Sabb Officers’ job descriptions according to the Union constitution !"

Co-ordinate all Union campaigns.

Education and Welfare Officer:

CURRENT SABBS: (left-right) Kate Dobbs, Ed Jones, Perri Lewis, Joe AlKhayat, Kate Monaghan and James Woodroof

President:

Vice-President:

!" Act as the Chief Executive of Cardiff Union Services Limited. !" Act as the public face of the Union and maintain and develop its public relations, representing the views and interests of the students.

!" Act as the Company Secretary of Cardiff Union Services Ltd. !" Be Treasurer of the Union. !" Take responsibility for Company and Union finances and commercial activity, working on the running of all commercial areas.

!" Provide representation, and with staff, an advice service providing students with relevant guidance regarding welfare issues and academic affairs. !" Campaign to ensure that student development remains a priority of Cardiff University Students’ Union and raise awareness of issues affecting education and welfare.

AU President: Oversee the running of the Cardiff University Athletic Union and liaise

!"

with the University on all matters pertaining to sports and sports facilities. !" Co-ordinate the activities of all Athletic Union Clubs, and set and oversee the allocation of its budget to individual clubs. !" Organise the Sports Fair during Freshers’ fortnight, the AU Ball and Varsity. !" Promote health and fitness and encourage students to get involved with sport.

gair rhydd Editor: Oversee the running of gair rhydd and be responsible for the executive editing of Quench magazine, and act as the publisher of both. !" Oversee the operation of Xpress !"

Radio. !" Oversee the running of the Union’s official website.

Societies, Postgraduate and International Officer: Take responsibility for societies and act as their main point of contact, including budget allocation to individual societies. !" Represent international and postgraduate students within the University, liaising with relevant organisations and professional bodies, and to aid and assist these students as appropriate. !"

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PHOTOS: Sarah Day

much Cardiff students know or care about candidates and their roles

PINS IN TREES: Signs of broken poster rules

UNION: They’ve got it covered

Campaigning: Turbulent times

William Taylor goes behind the scenes on the campaign trail

BANNERS: Blowing in the wind

FOLLOWING A SERIES of interviews with this years’ candidates, the gair rhydd can reveal shocking allegations surrounding the campaigning so far.

Although no official complaints have been made as yet, some serious accusations from candidates have been revealed.

One candidate described how a student spit them on when they were campaigning at the Barclay’s Bank crossroads.

Becky Shillabeer, a third year English Lit student and a friend of one of the campaigners, told us that she thinks her friend’s campaign banner might have been stolen from the

Union steps late on Wednesday afternoon.

Another student said they keep seeing posters illegally pinned on trees and lampposts.

They also said that rules are clearly being broken at the Talybont student residences site, where posters are being displayed publically in kitchen windows, something against university rules.

One onlooker said: “I heard one campaigner shouting ‘Don’t vote for the girl with the tits, vote for the guy’, meanwhile the badge I was wearing was ripped off and replaced with another campaigner’s badge. This has really

put me off voting this year.”

This is in line with last year’s election week when Perri Lewis, who was running for gair rhydd editor, had her campaign outfit that was made out of newspaper set on fire whilst campaigning in Solus nightclub.

PERRI LEWIS: Hot stuff

Satisfied voters?

A day in the life of... a candidate 7am

My alarm is ringing, it’s still dark and I only went to bed three hours ago. I smell of vodka, cigarette smoke and BO and I can barely open my eyes.

Set the alarm to go off in 15 minutes.

8am Dreaming of elections and wake up. Crap its late, shower, put on stupid costume, grab banner, eat mini-muffin for breakfast, run to uni.

9 am Stand at crossroads by

Park Place and meet weary campaign team. Find the energy to shout out slogan and try to chat to people, but they look very scared and tired. Many stare at the floor and try and avoid eye contact. I try to stare at the floor too, but my campaign team manager makes me talk to people and take my coat off so people can see my costume. It’s really very cold and I try to remember why I liked my friend in the first place.

10am

Do some lecture shout-outs, some clap and look enthusiastic, others look a bit confused while they try and work out what I’m meant to be dressed-up as and why.

1pm Loads of campaigners

at the crossroads, utter mayhem. The voters move together

in packs to stay away from all of us. The ones who get left behind or dare to tread on the pavement are singled out and forced to take a leaflet or get spoken too. You know they’re trying to invent plans to get away, but you hope they’ll vote for you anyway.

Biggest ever Union survey discovers voter dissatisfaction at the current campaigning tactics

3pm Boredom and tiredness kicks in. Campaigning can get dull when students are in lectures. Try to mix it up, so I go to the Union steps and talk to students there. Update my facebook profile. Have a little nap in Glamorgan café. Mistake tramp for student, waste ten minutes telling them about my policies.

7pm Go home and sleep.

Then head out to bars and clubs after resenting my housemates for cooking dinner and not giving me any. Have a few drinks for courage and get chatting.

Some people are lovely, but others can be really horrible!

One guy shouts at me, others just don’t respond which is almost worse. I try to remember why I want to do this, but I know if I win it’ll be worth it all. I look at my campaign team; I’m grateful that I’ve got such good friends.

Next week: The day in the life of...a voter RAILINGS: Plastered

EARLY INDICATION FROM the Students’ Union satisfaction survey has revealed controversial reasons behind low voting turn out.

The survey, designed to get the wider views of the student body on non-academic issues, has had a huge response, and, although it only closed on Monday, March 19, has already highlighted strong opinions on the current election campaigning.

Ed Jones, the SU Vice President said: “Some people don’t like the style of campaigning that is taking place this year.

“Many people responded saying that they felt intimidated by the campaigners and so it put them off voting all together.”

One student said in the survey that they felt there should not be any physical campaigning and would rather people just read the candidate’s manifestos to make their decision.

Another student said they would rather just be able to interview the candidates rather than be shoted at on the crossroads by the law building.

gair rhydd spoke to Jones to ask what he thought of these preliminary views. He said: “If you want to get students interested in you and your ideas then you need to be creative and bold in your approach to students.

“If one is innovative and fun then that candidate will sell themselves well to other students, as long as they campaign with tact.

“Campaigning in and around campus is essential for the student body to see and hear so they can see for themselves if the person they could potentially vote in to run their Union has good communication and leadership qualities and doesn’t just write a good manifesto.”

What do you think of student campaigns and Union elections?

Leave your comments at www.gairrhydd.com

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NEWS

MARCH.19.2007

Coke crushed

Students say no to Coca-Cola at Manchester University Students’ Union

PHOTO: Matt Horwood

Natalie Parkinson Reporter

COKE: In a bit of a crush

Loughborough student in close call shooting One shot and six injured at gig in Loughborough Students’ Union Tasha Prest-Smith Reporter A STUDENT was shot and six others injured in violence that erupted during the closing stages of a hip-hop concert at Loughborough Students’ Union.

A gas canister was discharged into the crowd attending the concert featuring the Miami-based hip-hop group Pretty Ricky at about 2:45am, leading to a series of fights that culminated in a gunman opening fire.

“What I don’t understand is how they managed to get a gas canister and a gun into the building.”

The Loughborough University student who was shot, a 21-yearold who was working as a security steward at the venue, Room One,

was taken to hospital later with stomach wounds. His injuries are not believed to be life-threatening.

Six other people, including a 26-year-old woman who was punched in the face, were taken to hospital suffering minor injuries or the effects of the gas.

A 22-year-old Nottinghamshire man, who is not a student, was arrested by officers.

Concert-goers said that the fighting started between a group of students and members of the public who had been allowed into the student venue.

A student, who did not want to be named, said: “Pretty Ricky aren’t really a ‘guns and violence’ sort of group, but that kind of crowd still turned up and in the end they just kicked off. What I don’t understand is how they managed to get a gas canister and a gun into the building.

“There are meant to be security checks.”

The University refused to comment on its security precautions.

Detectives said they wanted to speak to potential witnesses who left Room One before emergency services arrived.

COKE WILL be in very short supply at University of Manchester Students’ Union (UMSU) after their AGM passed a motion banning it in their shops and bars.

Four hundred votes for the motion to twenty against means students will now be forced to drink another cola at nights out in their students’ union.

Cardiff University students attempted to pass a similar boycott of CocaCola last year and attempted to mandate the NUS’S bulk buying arm, to end contracts with Coca Cola. But the motion fell at the annual conference.

However, Manchester’s ban goes much further by resolving “to replace Coke products on sale in all students’

union outlets with Virgin Cola or a suitable alternative”.

The motion at Manchester was proposed as a result of accusations towards the multinational company of violating workers’ human rights and environmental welfare in Columbia, India and Turkey.

The company has also been accused of siphoning water from rivers in India for its factories, causing farmers to struggle without irrigation resources.

The ban comes as campaigners in the UK are trying to remove Coke products from university campuses using the internet to gain support; universities like Oxford, Edinburgh, Bristol, Bradford, Middlesex and the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS) have already passed motions boycotting or banning the drink.

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Burning Fflam William Taylor Reporter WALES’ FIRST major music festival has announced its headline acts.

Manic Street Preachers, Keane and Feeder are the rock bands set to headline the Fflam festival in Swansea this summer.

Organisers hope the Fflam Festival could be as popular as Scotland’s annual event, T in the Park.

The Swansea festival will see over 50 bands performing to a 30,000 strong crowd each day between July 13-15.

Other confirmed acts to play at Fflam, the Welsh word for flame, include Placebo, The Levellers and Enter Shikari.

We have learned that another major artist, who is likely to headline the final night of the festival, is expected to be announced in the coming weeks.

Straight Music, the festival’s promoter, is giving three unsigned Welsh bands the chance to perform at the event.

John Curd a spokesman of Straight Music said: “We see this as a longterm investment in Wales, driven by our passion for quality music and giving great value for money.

“As well as giving locals the chance to see some of the best live bands around, we are also dedicated to nurturing new talent and the full line-up will reflect that.”

Cardiff student survey reveals dissatisfaction Cardiff Marathon called off Continued from front page

Joe Al-Khayat, Students’ Union President, agreed. He said: “The fact many respondents felt our sport facilities were below-par obviously confirms why the Invest in Sport campaign is so important and why this crucial campaign must continue.”

The quality of the AU transport facilities on offer was also attacked and a number of students claimed that many of their activities had to be cancelled because they could not hire a minibus.

Another common complaint focused on the distributing of flyers outside the Union. Students argued that advertising for Union events should not be done like this as it was environmentally unfriendly and made the area around the Union look untidy.

Many also believed that it did not align with the pro-recycling policy that the Union have.

Al-Khayat also agreed with these comments too: “The issue of leaflets and flyers is an obvious concern and although recycling provisions have been improved around the Union this year, it’s important that we continue to make progress in this area for the presentation of the building and indeed the environment.”

The survey also produced shocking results about the satisfaction of students situated on the Heath Park campus.

Complaints were mainly focused on the lack of integration of the Heath with the main campus.

It is hoped that the creation of the non-sabbatical role of Heath Park Campus Officer will address these problems.

Al-Khayat said: “The feedback from students based at the Heath site clearly illustrates that we must work harder to communicate more effectively some of the key activities and services offered by the Students' Union and. in addition, work harder to represent these students and their concerns.

We are pleased with the introduction of the Heath Park Campus Officer at this year’s AGM, and hope this can serve to address some of the challenges in this area.

What is pleasing to see is that many of the candidates this year are discussing communication with the Heath Campus at great length in their manifestos, so I hope that we as a Union can now begin to progress in this area and reach out to our Heath students more effectively.”

However, although many areas were criticised, Union-run facilities such as the Advice and Representation Centre received especially high praise, with nearly every student saying that they were provided with a good service.

The choice of entertainment offered by the Union also scored very highly.

The full results of the ‘Student Satisfaction’ survey will be released by gair rhydd when they study is complete.

Any student who wants to have their say on these issues after the survey closes can visit the Union’s website, cardiffstudents.com.

What do you think of your non-academic experience at Cardiff University? Let us know at www.gairrhydd.com

Corinne Rhoades Reporter CARDIFF’S 26-mile charity marathon has been called off for the first time in five years.

The more popular half distance marathon will still go ahead this October in the hope that more competitors will be encouraged to enter.

It is thought the run’s lack of appeal stems from its distance, which is believed to have lowered race numbers in recent years.

Cardiff student Simon Hills, who is preparing to run the London marathon this year, was disappointed that Wales’ capital would not hold the full marathon.

He said: “It’s a long way to be running which requires a lot of dedication and effort.

“By the time of the London marathon, I’ll have been training two or three times a week for five months.

To find the race had been cancelled would be so gutting.”

But Jean Summerhayes, event organiser, claimed that “the decision wasn’t taken lightly.”

She said: “Just holding the half marathon will now allow us to concentrate on the event to make it the biggest and best the city has seen.”

Runners of all ages will now participate in the half-marathon, organised in conjunction with children’s charity Barnado’s Cymru, to raise money for a range of Welsh charities.

gairrhydd 7 MARCH.19.2007

NEWS

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

The week in pictures

James Perou at Cardiff Hockey team’s mission to Malta Corinne Rhoades Reporter CARDIFF’S HOCKEY Firsts have begun a sponsored cycle to Malta without leaving the Students’ Union steps.

The squad started the ‘Mission to Malta’ campaign on exercise bikes on Friday February 9.

Cardiff Hockey First XI is the current

owner of the Welsh Cup title.

By cycling the 1,152 kilometres it would take to get halfway to Malta, the team hope to raise enough money to play as Wales’ representatives in the European Cup Winner’s Cup. Altogether their twelve hours of cycling, which the squad of eighteen completed in three-hour stints, has raised in the region of one thousand pounds.

Paul Hayes, a journalism postgraduate and team member was surprised at the figure.

He said: “I’m chuffed people actually bothered to help us out - I just expected it to be a bonus on what we’d already raised.”

With the tournament taking place between April 4-8, another fundraiser is hoped to cover the final 800-kilometre leg of the journey within the next few weeks.

Humane nature Ghost planes over Cardiff Samantha Shillabeer Reporter A CARDIFF University researcher has joined forces with the UK’s leading non-animal medical research charity to find humane replacements for animal testing.

Dr Phil Stephens and the Dr Hadwen Trust have teamed up to replace wound experiments in animals in order to prevent pain and suffering.

Wounds are particularly common among the elderly, affecting 30% of over 60-year-olds and costing the NHS over £1 billion a year.

Effective treatments are desperately needed, but current animal ‘models’ used in research not only cause suffering but are unreliable because they cannot accurately reproduce the characteristics found

in human wounds.

In testing, wounds are inflicted by crushing, burning or applying chemicals to the backs of animals and are deliberately infected with bacteria to stop them healing.

Dr Phil Stephens is determined to find more advanced ways of making medical progress that stops the animal suffering.

His research at the Cardiff Institute of Tissue Engineering & Repair aims to develop a cell-based model of wound healing using tissues donated by human patients.

This research is using new genetic techniques to investigate key differences between human cells taken from healthy tissues and leg ulcers.

Dr Stephens commented: “We hope that the development of this laboratory model will be an important and unique resource for wound healing researchers worldwide.”

Empty planes make 140-mile trip to London and back six times a week James Stileman Reporter EMPTY PASSENGER jets have been flying from Cardiff to Heathrow six times every week, enraging green activists by polluting the environment unnecessarily.

Each 140-mile journey made by the British Mediterranean Airways (BMed) planes releases more than five tonnes of carbon dioxide emissions into the atmosphere.

Since October 2006, the airline has maintained these ‘ghost flights’ in an

effort to hold onto its valuable landing slots at Heathrow Airport.

BMed has undertaken this unusual loss-making exercise due to Heathrow’s implementation of the internationally recognised ‘Use it or Lose it’ rule when allocating its landing slots.

An airline must use at least 80% of its allocation over a six-month period, or risk seeing competitors take over its under-used slots.

BMed started the empty flights after it had to terminate its service to Tashkent in Uzbekistan following potentially dangerous civil unrest.

IMAGE: James Perou

Cardiff lecturer to help find an alternative to animal testing

BMed admitted that the situation was ‘not ideal’, and claimed that it would not be financially viable to run a passenger service for only a few months.

David Richardson, BMed chief executive, said: “Since BMed intends to operate the slot on revenue services during the 2007 summer and winter seasons, it was necessary to preserve the slot. Flights to Cardiff represented the most cost-effective way to do this.”

Environmental campaigners claim that the air tax system needs to be changed in order to stop these types of flights from continuing.

8 gairrhydd

WORLD NEWS World News in brief Victoria Lane Reporter

MARCH.19.2007 NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

War on the Web

Google may be sued by entertainment corporation Viacom over the showing of its programmes on online video site YouTube

Boys’ Toys MORE MEN take teddy bears to bed when sleeping alone than women, a study by Sky News has found.

Out of the 2000 people surveyed, 20% of men admitted to cuddling bears compared to 15% of women, and overall 63% said they needed a bedtime cuddle in order to sleep.

The study was commissioned

by Travelodge, which is launching a ‘Cuddillow’, a 2ft 6in long pillow with two arms, in order to help their guests sleep.

Online Confessions A POLISH man faces jail after setting up a website offering online confessionals for Catholics who can’t be bothered to go to church.

Borys Cezar’s website asked people to write down their sins, asking: “Do you regret your sins?” (yes/no) “Do you intend to correct them?” (yes/no).

After clicking ‘next’ people were connected to the Lord God and asked to wait while their sins were being transferred.

The end result read: “Congratulations, your sins have been forgiven”.

Not a Nailbiter LI JIANPING, a 43-year-old Chinese man, has let his fingernails grow for 15-years, resulting in a left hand that has nails of 1m long.

Jianping started growing these nails in 1992 after two previous attempts failed due to minor accidents in which the nails were broken.

Li admits they are an inconvenience as he is unable to go to crowded places and has to sleep in awkward positions.

YOUTUBE: Legal or not?

James Stileman Reporter THE AMERICAN entertainment giant Viacom has announced that it intends to sue Google, the owners of YouTube, for $1bn.

Viacom, owner of MTV and Nickelodeon, claims the video-sharing website shows its programmes illegally. The company alleges that somewhere in the region of 160,000 video clips showing its material are available on YouTube, and that they have been watched over 1.5 billion times.

Google stated it was “confident” that it had not flouted any copyright

laws. However, the stock market did not share the internet-search company’s confidence though, and its shares fell by 2.6%, or $11.72.

Viacom claims that Google has failed to take any decisive steps to filter out copyright-protected media from its site, and so is also appealing for a legal injunction against Google to prevent ‘massive intentional copyright infringement’.

A Viacom statement said: “[Google’s] business model, which is based on building traffic and selling advertising off of unlicensed content, is clearly illegal and is in obvious con-

Mexico City set to pass new abortion laws

flict with copyright laws.”

Viacom asked Google to remove more than 100,000 unauthorised videos from its site last month.

Google’s failure to take any action on this request is the motive behind the lawsuit. Viacom stated: “There is no question that YouTube and Google are continuing to take the fruit of our efforts without permission and destroying enormous value in the process.

“This is value that rightfully belongs to the writers, directors and talent who create it and companies like Viacom that have invested to make

possible this innovation and creativity.”

YouTube’s ever-increasing popularity has led some media companies to become concerned that they will lose out on advertising revenue, as more and more people elect to watch videos online at their convenience rather than on television.

A Google spokesman disagreed. He said: “YouTube is great for users and offers real opportunities to rights holders: the opportunity to interact with users; to promote their content to a young and growing audience; and to tap into the online advertising market.”

Zimbabwean opposition leader hospitalised

Mexican capital makes controversial move to legalise terminations, meeting violent condemnation from the Catholic Church Samantha Shillabeer Reporter MEXICO CITY has called to legalise abortion in a controversial move that the Roman Catholic Church has vowed to challenge.

A bill that would allow abortion to take place in the first three months of pregnancy is progressing through the capital city’s assembly and supporters say they have well over the majority of votes needed to pass it, despite pressure from the Catholic Church.

“No church, no religion can impose its vision of the world in this city,” said assembly leader Victor Hugo Cirigo, whose leftist Party of the Democratic Revolution runs City Hall and holds 34 of 66 city legislative seats.

The law is expected to be passed within a matter of months and the first legal abortions could take place later this year.

“Currently, abortions in Mexico City are permitted when a mother’s life is in danger, but the rest of the country allows them only in case of rape,” said Maria Luisa Sanchez, president of the leading Mexican abortion rights group GIRE. Mexico City is the first region in the country to propose this bill, which has caused outrage amongst the strict

Catholic Church.

Religious leaders say they will try to block the proposed law and have threatened a constitutional challenge and a mass street protest that could become a political movement.

“If the assembly can’t be the city’s conscience, we will have to form our own party to represent us,” said Armando Martinez, speaking for the country’s Catholic Archdiocese.

Conservative leader Felipe Calderon is a strict Catholic and his ruling National Action Party has traditionally Catholic roots, but Mexico City’s local government has been run by leftists since 1997 and City Hall and the local assembly have often taken a more liberal stance towards religion.

Currently, women seeking abortions have to use clandestine clinics, with the poorest having to resort to back-street practitioners working in unhygienic premises, often leading to deadly consequences.

The National Assembly and the Catholic Church have clashed on other occasions, such as when a bill allowing gay civil unions began in Mexico City on Friday.

Cirigo’s party also expects another fight when it pushes for the legalisation of euthanasia.

ZIMBABWE: Flag INSET: Morgan Tsvangirai giving speech

Lee Macaulay Reporter CRITICALLY ILL Zimbabwean opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai is being treated in hospital after sustaining major injuries in police custody.

Reports suggest that Mr Tsvangirai has been diagnosed with a fractured skull and received medical attention after being too ill to attend a court hearing last Wednesday.

He was due to appear in court after a demonstration organised by opponents of President Robert Mugabe’s regime in Zimbabwe.

Traditionally, Mr Tsvangirai has been seen as the figurehead for the opposition faction in Zimbabwe.

In recent years, the movement has gained more influence as a result of a failing economy and rising civil discontent.

A minister for the Zimbabwean government said that the injuries to Mr Tsvangirai and fellow supporters were due to protesters attacking police.

Some activists attending the hearing were arrested but were later released by police without charge when prosecution lawyers failed to appear.

gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

MARCH.19.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

freewords the voice of gairrhydd

Est. 1972

It is the view of gair rhydd that some of the candidates running do not have the experience, ideas, intelligence or know-how to run your Union. If these people are elected this week then there could be disastrous consequences for the students at Cardiff University.

Too many people under-

Many of the candidates going for the top roles in this week’s elections are not up to the job estimate the impact bad sabbatical officers can have on the Union and the lives and experiences of our students. These elected representatives have a huge amount of control over the way the Union and its services are run. They are the top dogs; the directors of the trading company we use to buy our beer and

equipment and the trustees of the charity we use to fund our AU clubs, societies and advice services.

If they make bad decisions, we all pay. If they make good decisions, we all benefit.

Election rules prevent us from naming those candidates we believe are not up to the job, but we

urge every student at Cardiff University to think long and hard before they vote. It is essential that you look past the costumes, the gimmicks, the songs and the fancy banners to who the candidates are and what they stand for. It might take half an hour out of your day to flick through the manifestos, or actually

chat to some of the candidates about their ideas, but come July when the new team are making decisions that directly affect you it will be worth it. gair rhydd reminds every student that it is their duty to elect the best person for the job, not the person with the best outfit or slogan.

Battle of the barons

Wondering where your favourite programmes have gone? Matt Cutler looks at the very public spat between two heavyweights of the media world: Sky and Virgin

E

very girlfriend’s nightmare: a TV channel showing non-stop sport, 24 hours a day. Well ladies, Richard Branson is your knight in shining armour … sort of.

Anyone with NTL digital will know that over the past few weeks some of Sky’s most popular channels have been taken off. Branson, extending his corporate Empire into the television business after the merging of Virgin Mobile and NTL, has refused to stump up the cash that Sky have demanded for Sky One, Sky Travel, Sky News and Sky Sports News. Both sides have been accused of "behaving like children", but it is alleged that Sky is demanding "more than double" the amount currently paid. So any other half of the millions of men who subscribe to Virgin Media can write Sir Richard a nice little thank you card.

But before you purchase your stamps and send your letter of gratitude, there is a lot more to this loss of channels than may appear on the surface. The dispute is not merely Virgin trying to prohibit men up and down the country from knowing what is going on in the football world every minute.

This disgreement shows the monoplies that exist in the corporate world we live in these days All jokes and stereotypes aside, the dispute over the four channels in question has created a serious issue. There have been threats of legal action; media regulator Ofcom is investigating the matter, and the National Consumer Council is looking for a review of the digital television market in general.

Onlookers may question what the fuss is all about. Even if the price being demanded by Sky for its channels is a reasonable one, why should Virgin not be able to withdraw the Sky service from their package? Sky loses its advertising revenue.

If Virgin customers want to watch

9

the channels they have the option to switch their package. Simple as that: no one dies and every gets to watch what they want. After all, isn’t the dispute merely indicative of the wider issue: a clash of the media titans?

Healthy competition is good for the economy and we should get the benefits from them. Think how expensive petrol would be were it not for the numerous competing service stations.

Of course, competition in this case has caused millions of paying customers to be denied some of the television they pay a subscription fee to specifically experience. But the disagreement is not black and white. This disagreement shows the monopolies that exist in the corporate world we live in these days, and how difficult they are to break.

Sky says the dispute has come about purely because Virgin refuses to pay its asking price to continue carrying the channels. I’m not convinced. Sky realise that by Virgin not broadcasting the channels in question, they will lose at least £20m, maybe up to £45m in lost advertising revenue. If it is not getting many of its key channels to Virgin Media's subscribers then its potential audience is much smaller, making the channels less appealing to advertisers.

The way I see it, Sky has got too big for its boots, and with around eight million subscribers - two and a half times that of Virgin - the price issue is a ploy to coerce Virgin customers into switching providers by denying access to basic channels. As such, the real issue at heart is not money: it is Sky’s dominance of the market. 24 and Lost, for example, are high-demand television shows that Sky One has a deal on so that they can be shown not long after their first airing in America.

Virgin customers who are fans of such US TV will thus lose out because of

the argument. And I’m sure Sky could not care in the slightest. Virgin Media chief executive Steve Burch said: "We will not allow Virgin Media or our customers to be the victim of Sky's market power. In the interest of the consumer, we want these issues resolved quickly."

Branson’s investment is an entrepreneurial challenge to Sky’s dominance; now someone has the money and know-how to take them on For the first time, the Murdoch family has been challenged in a domain where they want to (and almost do) experience a monopoly. Branson’s investment is an entrepreneurial challenge to Sky’s dominance; now someone has the money and know-how to take them on at their own game.

Switching from Virgin to Sky would merely play into the hands of such a Murdochian ploy. Freeview, available from around a £20 one-off fee, allows access to the aforementioned channels.

At least that way the powers that be at the head of Sky don’t get the satisfaction of at least a £20 a month subscription fee, and don’t come out of the disagreement smelling of roses. It is a shame that Virgin will probably come out of the heavyweight dispute a loser, with a dazed Branson staggering back to his corner in the fourth round.

Unfortunately, this is the nature of the 21st century world we live in. We’ve

all sold our souls to big businesses who shape what we watch, what we buy and where we buy it. But hopefully standing up to big corporations will lead to longer-term success. Who knows how a review of the market will change how we watch television?

What do you think?

Let us know by leaving your comment at www.gairrhydd.com

www.gairrhydd.com Your student newspaper, online

10 gairrhydd

EDITORIAL & OPINION

MARCH.19.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Rehabilitation nation

Philippa Jacob discusses the growing number of celebrities checking into rehab and asks if it has become a trend rather than a necessity

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he cult of celebrity has become a distinguishable element of modern society.

However, with the upside of fame and fortune can come the downside of drug dependency and depression as these celebrities struggle to find a balance between fame and normality.

The London rehab clinic The Priory has become a regular haunt of the rich and famous unable to cope with the extensive wealth and media attention that they accumulate in such a short time. In Pete Doherty’s brief period in the media spotlight they have charted his rise to fame as lead singer of the Libertines to his descent into the shady world of drug addiction and eventually rehab. Just as he has made skinny jeans fashionable for men it seems that Pete has also managed to make rehab ‘cool’ in the celebrity world.

Within the last month alone celebrities ranging from Jade Goody to Britney Spears, and Robbie Williams to Amy Winehouse have admitted themselves to rehab. However, I question whether these celebrities are seeking condolence in rehab due to genuine problems, or whether they see it as simply the best form of publicity for whatever they wish to endorse.

Pop star Robbie Williams admitted himself into rehab on his 33rd birthday, seeking help for his addiction to prescription drugs. Robbie had previously been treated for addiction to drink and drugs in 1995 when he left the successful boy band Take That. It is rumoured that on this occasion Robbie was actually kidnapped by Elton John in a drastic attempt to get help.

To me it seems strange that Robbie would openly seek help on his birthday rather than waiting until the next day.

Therefore, the media attention it attracted has led many people to condemn it as nothing more than a publicity stunt. However, I believe it is plausible that Robbie was secretly hoping to be bundled away by Elton John again to an unknown location. After all, those rumours of his sexuality were never fully cleared up.

The stress of Celebrity Big Brother certainly took its toll on piggy-faced Jade Goody, who seemed to think that returning to the programme which mistakenly made her a celebrity would treat her as an old friend, with warmth and familiarity. How wrong she was.

After leaving the house amid the race row and her emergent school bully behaviour, she immediately checked herself into The Priory for depression.

Now if I was to leave the house and realise that my secret liposuction operation, which had made my New Year’s fitness DVD a false success, had been revealed, I too would be a little depressed. Although I’m not sure it’d be enough to check into rehab. From

Jade’s point-of-view, I can see that checking yourself into the expensive rehab clinic popular with the stars might make one feel that one still held the same status as before the Big Brother experience, but really, Jade, your time is up.

Former child star Britney Spears has gone off the rails in a big way as of late. Since splitting from Kevin Federline, husband and father to her two children, Britney has gone on a rampant spree of partying. The latest news is that she has entered rehab for the third time in a week for reasons unknown. With reports suggesting that she is on the verge of a breakdown, with possibly two suicide attempts in the last week, we are left to wonder whether rehab is the ideal place for Britney.

With her recent bizarre behaviour, including shaving her own head, and her disregard for the welfare of her two young children, it seems that the unstable child star needs the support of her family and friends, and even that of her fans to get her through this tough time rather than simply secluding herself in rehab. Also, as a mother, how can she possibly think that spending time away from her children in rehab will help?

Although not a mother myself I can imagine that to be apart from your children for an indefinite amount of time would be more destructive to a person than any help.

A refreshing czange to the dozens of celebrities seeking help is Pop/ Blues/Funk sensation Amy Winehouse, who despite frequent alcoholic behaviour, such as chasing random people down the street hurling abuse at them, claims she doesn’t have a prob-

ROBBIE: Back for good?

lem. Having spent a grand total of ten minutes in rehab Amy decided that she was wasting her own and the clinic’s time and walked out before completing the registration forms. I tip my hat to the girl. She refuses to conform time and time again. I believe that Amy realises that she can drink excessively at times and get out of control but she also has a large support network of family and friends around her who are able to stop her if and when needs be.

I also think that this is what some celebrities lack, as when they do find fame they can often lose touch with those who supported them on their way there, instead relying on the fickle friends of the showbiz industry.

From increasing media coverage of celebrities we can see that rehab is becoming a trend. Gone are the holidays to St Tropez, where celebrities would sun themselves on million pound yachts. It’s all about the rehab these days. Think of it as an all-inclusive package; you get your daily meals added in with the price. What more could a celebrity ask for? What’s more is the maid gets a two-week holiday.

Everyone’s a winner!

However, we must consider the possibility that celebrities are actually human beings, with feelings like normal people. Maybe they too need a little alone time every now and again, and the only way they know to ensure absolute privacy is to cocoon themselves away in a place where they know they are safe, away from the media glare.

Health investigate who’s checking into rehab for what Page 26

It has been a controversial few months for Top Gear.

Amid the recent speculation as to whether the programme will return to our screens, Jo Price asks: do we care?

D

espite claims by presenter Jeremy Clarkson, the BBC insists Top Gear will return to our screens in the summer. At the end of the last series the presenter announced the show would be back soon. However, his comment was later contradicted by a statement he made in The Sun: “Can I just say, here and now, it won’t be.”

In response the BBC stated “Top Gear will be back”. A new series is planned to grace our Sunday evenings in the autumn. A summer special is also on the cards. All three presenters are expected to remain.

The question does arise over this latest controversy as to whether Clarkson’s hazardous attitude to Top Gear has gone too far, yet again. Since the Hammond crash the programme seems to have suffered criticism from many angles. Has Top Gear really reached a level of unacceptable extremity or are we all being oversensitive?

Richard Hammond crashed at 300mph in a jet-powered dragster last September and miraculously lived to tell the tale. Complaints were made concerning the showing of the crash at the beginning of the latest series.

There were concerns that it was promoting fast driving; Clarkson’s sarcastic comment of “speed kills” at the end of that episode seemed to ignite anger from some authorities. Yet the very essence of Top Gear is a masculinefuelled competitive spirit that strives to push the boundaries of speed and test a vehicle to its limits.

The show has dealt with a string of complaints stemming from the latest episodes. The lighthearted banter between the presenters over Hammond’s head injury offended the brain injury charity Headway, who claimed the programmes comments were “insulting” and “insensitive”.

The BBC also condemned comments made by Clarkson in connection with homosexuality.

The journalist described a car as “very ginger beer”, in cockney rhyming slang meaning queer. The remarks, described as “derogatory”, were apologised for.

Top Gear is a show that delivers on its audience’s expectations of an irreverent tone. The presenters - especially Clarkson - are renowned for their

quick wit, sarcasm and straight talking. The comments passed during the airing of Top Gear are to be taken with a pinch of salt. Although understandable offence can stem from remarks made, they are not to be taken so seriously.

Perhaps there is the thought that the programme is moving further away from its original sole purpose of reviewing cars. Yet within the latest series it has captured sky-high ratings and intrigued an even wider audience.

The show is still renowned for its ability to make or break a vehicle. It maintains a progressive pressure on the car industry to remain innovative and strive for improvement.

Top Gear campaigns for the right of the vehicle owner. It ensures when we invest in an automobile, we are getting our money’s worth. The nature of the programme has encompassed a winning formula that has evidently increased its popularity.

The presenters are renowned for their quick wit, sarcasm and straight talking Some may insist the programme is drifting off course with its extreme stunts, whether it be launching a Robin Reliant into the air, or showing a train hit a people carrier on a level crossing at 60mph. However, each is relevant whether it be to the safety messages of the Don’t Run the Risk Rail campaign or the entertainment value of three boys and their toys.

The attraction of the programme is the comedic efforts of the troublesome trio. On a Sunday evening audiences watch enviously, wishing they could be behind the wheel of the crap old Camaro cruising across America, as in one particular episode.

So, despite the complaints and the controversy, let’s hope Top Gear graces our screens full throttle next season with more of its adrenaline fuelled motoring and amusing antics from Clarkson, Hammond and May. I, for one, can’t wait to see what they come up with next.

gairrhydd

11

EDITORIAL & OPINION

MARCH.19.2007 OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Home alone

With Sony soon to launch a rival to the social life-sapping Second Life, James Temperton questions the entertainment value of doing all the mundane things one has to do in real life ... only in a virtual world

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he gaming industry is now one of the most lucrative in the entertainment world and the prize to be the top dog is greater than ever. The PS3, the XBOX 360 and the Nintendo Wii are all trying to manoeuvre for space in a very competitive market.

The internet has shown the world over the last couple of years that the rise of user-generated and user-centric content is key. Take the blog phenomenon, social networking sites like MySpace and the dreaded Facebook, YouTube and Wikipedia. All these sites have one thing in common: you. They are all based around individuals creating a greater community in whatever way it may be, through knowledge, networking, videos, or thoughts and feelings. The once faceless corporate nature of the internet has suddenly become a whole lot more personal and individualistic. As we now enter another ‘generation’ of gaming, another industry is looking to follow suit. The XBOX Live online service is bigger and better than ever, the Wii features a cartoon-style avatar system called Mii and now the PlayStation brand is addressing the ever-growing need to put us first.

At the recent Game Developers Conference in San Francisco, Sony announced a new feature for the PS3 console (which launches in Europe later this month) called Home. The basic premise of Home is very similar to internet-based virtual world Second Life; Sony are creating an online world where you can chat to friends, meet new people, hang out, mess about and, well, live, basically. So why do Sony think Home will work? Well, by basing it heavily on the Second Life model they already have a working formula to build their idea upon. Some might call it stealing...

In February, Second Life had four million users living in the virtual world. Go back a month to January 2007 and they had three million. One million people in just thirty days is a huge leap and proves that the program is getting more and more popular by the day. So, what does the increased popularity of Second Life mean for PlayStation Home and, more importantly, for those who are going to use it?

Sony have always been very good at latching on to trends in their technologies. The PlayStation brand has been very well managed in advertising and in how it targets its desired audience, and the introduction of Home to the PS3 hardware later this year will only see this ‘targeting’ taken to a new level.

What Sony have recognised (and it probably didn’t take much looking) is a growing trend on the internet and in entertainment in general. People are spending more and more time vegetating in front of something on some form of glowing box, and a great hobby while doing this is to create a new identity for yourself and to live in another world. The Sims is a good example of this that has been around for a while.

While you don’t create a virtual version of yourself, you do get to live in a very ‘real’ virtual world.

The once faceless corporate nature of the internet has suddenly become a lot more personal People who use social networking sites often present images of themselves that are not wholly accurate. The truth is you don’t have to be honest.

One of the joys of the internet is your total anonymity, but this joy has a bit of a sting in the tail. If you’re not that enaumored with the joys of life then what better way to escape than by running off into your own little virtual world where you can be whoever you want, have loads of friends, a really cool home and finally look good in a hat. Joy. The appeal of the virtual is clear, but is it healthy?

One of the joys of the internet is your total anonymity, but this joy has a bit of a sting in the tail We’re being told more and more to get up, get out and get active, but with things like Second Life getting more and more popular it is more a case of our virtual lives getting a kick-start than our lives in the real world. Sony are already selling Home as a place to “meet up, hang out and explore a connected world”. What is more, you can share music on virtual music players, share video on virtual TV screens and even shop in a virtual shop. What is odd is that Home pretends to be real.

Much like Second Life, Sony is trying to draw people in with the ability to personalise and create your own world.

However, while Second Life is very much about doing things that are different and unreal (you can fly, for example), Home is more about simply doing what you do in real life ... but on a computer. Why would you want to? It does seem like a rather strange way to occupy your time.

But then you’re not occupying your time. You are creating an alternate

Are our soaps providing an irresponsible portrayal of teenagers’ alcohol consumption?

A survey by The Food Magazine suggests so.

But Laura Hinson is not convinced

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he Food Magazine has published a survey this week, suggesting that television soap operas are encouraging teenagers to drink. Worryingly, alcohol is now a common theme and occurrence in storylines.

Characters are frequently seen necking drinks in background shots. In fact, watching people drink now accounts for a considerable amount of screen time.

When comparing the main soaps, alcohol featured in 18% of scenes in Hollyoaks, 17% in Coronation Street and 16% in Emmerdale. Hollyoaks is the soap which features and is aimed at a target audience of teenagers and young people. Could this constant coverage of booze desensitise young people to the dangers of alcohol abuse? Cally Matthews, the author of

the study, is concerned that alcohol is being shown as part of a seemingly healthy lifestyle and a normal part of everyday life.

The danger here is that alcohol is naturalised and there is no coverage of the dangers of excessive alcohol consumption.

The Food Magazine survey took place over two weeks. In this period, alcohol appeared as the most dominant food group, appearing in almost 40% of all background scenes in Hollyoaks. Channel 4 claims that Hollyoaks is

the UK’s most watched teenage drama serial; it has a prime time viewing slot at 6.30pm after The Simpsons, and is hugely popular with both school children and students.

When the makers of Hollyoaks were questioned about the representation of alcohol on the programme, they claimed that it was up to the editorial team to act responsibly and to make sure that the negative consequences of drinking alcohol are always shown. A Channel 4 spokeswoman provided the example that if an underage character is seen to be drinking then this incident will always be fol-

time, you are creating an alternate self and even if you are shy, introverted and socially awkward in real life, you can be the life of the party in this strange, alternate virtual universe. I’m far from being a technophobe, but there is something much too sinister and wrong about an idea like Home. You’re not going to enrich your life experience and get anything worthwhile out of a creation like this, it doesn’t give you any great fantasy and ultimately it will be a hugely underwhelming experience. While Second Life is an admirable social experiment, there is

something that is distinctly worrying about Home.

While new technology seeks more and more to take us away from reality, I will run quickly into the first person to make a call for order. Send the odd email, talk to people online and use the internet and technology in all the ways it can be used to enrich your real life, but never look at it as a way to create some sort of new life. It isn’t healthy, it isn’t right and ultimately someone, somewhere, will be making a lot of money out of your bizarre secondary existence.

SECOND LIFE: If you can’t get a real girlfriend... lowed up with something negative such as the “character being sick or being severely reprimanded by a parental figure.”

The charity, Alcohol Concern, believes that TV soaps are highly irresponsible as they present a onedimensional view of drinking; they don’t cover the risks of getting drunk, and the portrayals we see in soaps are often pleasurable and glamorous. The Food Magazine is not the only survey to uncover such data. Alcohol Concern surveyed soap content over several weeks and found that there were seven drinking scenes every hour and that alcohol is mainly used in celebrations and as an aid to romance.

The charity, Alcohol Concern, believes that TV soaps are highly irresponsible When asked about the use of alcohol in soaps and whether it is a bad example for teenagers, Annie Buckle,

a second year journalism student, claimed that “realistically all teenagers drink, wouldn’t it be weird if they didn’t show it?” Alcohol is a huge part of our contemporary youth culture and it would be moronic if it was not featured in soaps aimed at young people. Emily Woodrow, another student, claimed, “I think kids would do it anyway regardless of if it’s on TV or not. Perhaps TV could show more negative effects of booze, for example, underage drinkers dying - this may dissuade kids a little bit.”

Another point worth considering is that most of the prime time soaps are actually set in pubs. Eastenders is set in the Queen Vic and Coronation Street is set in the Rovers Return.

Hollyoaks features a pub called the Dog in the Pond and a nightclub, the Loft. These locations are generally seen as the social centre of the soap where all the characters meet and interact. It is therefore proportionate that alcohol would feature heavily in the background scenes at these locations. Being an avid Hollyoaks fan myself, I believe that the coverage of drinking within the soap is a true reflection of student life; the storylines do explore the side

gairrhydd 13

COMMENT

MARCH.19.2007 EDIFICATION@gairrhydd.COM

Edification

Sneaking you a spicy and sumptious slice of the opinion pie

Absent arguments

W

e’re all prone to the use of sweeping generalisations. They come in very handy when cutting down an essay after the word limit has loomed up and then flashed by.

But it’s during debate that the sweeping generalisation really gets to stretch its legs. And, in particular, in internet debates.

Since the gair rhydd allowed comments to be made on all of its articles a few weeks ago, the debate online has been varied, vociferous and – if nothing else – entertaining. The anonymity of the internet frees people up to say what they really think – something that all too rarely happens nowadays – and, as such, the comments on our website run the gamut from the sublime to the ridiculous – sometimes encompassing both.

that any rhetoric came to criticism was the mild suggestion that the fact that Islamic women wear loose fitting clothing was down to societal flaws.

The reason for the lack of ire on display can, perhaps, be garnered from the reaction of a friend of mine when I mentioned that I was going to the event. “Don’t say anything,” she said, knowing of my antitheistic ways. “You’ll make some comment and get into loads of trouble.”

There is a real climate of fear regarding speaking out against religion There is a real climate of fear regarding speaking out against religion and, particularly, Islam. The cartoons debacle of last year – particularly up here in gair rhydd towers – has coerced critics of religion into a sulky silence. But it is imperative that we do not allow fear – and an unreasonable fear at that – to smother our right to free speech.

I am an atheist. I find the belief in a deity of any kind – be it God, Allah, Yahweh or Zeus – utterly irrational and groundless. I do not believe that Muslims or religious people of any faith would wish to do me harm if I voiced all of the (many) disagreements I might have with their beliefs.

But a tiny, tiny minority of Muslims might – just might – and it is this extreme minority that many people are ignorantly using to extrapolate their perception of the Muslim community as a whole. It’s not Islamophobia; it’s just stupidity, and it needs to be stopped. It should go without saying that the vast majority

The anonymity of the internet frees people up to say what they really think Unsurprisingly, it has been the stories on the subject of Islam – the desire for a prayer room and the promotion of Islamic Awareness Week – that have spawned the most comments. There’s a lot of rage in cyberspace.

However, it was all very different at the Q & A session, Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Islam But Were Afraid To Ask, at the Wallace Lecture Theatre last Wednesday. After a brief presentation on the basics of Islam, emphasising its peaceful attributes, questions were taken from the floor. The silence from dissenters was deafening - the closest

The truth about... house parties

W

ith the planet stumbling ever more feebly onwards toward a sweaty, messy denouement, it has never been so essential that people huddle together in groups to talk and laugh and drink and smile and do all the things that normal people do in order to distract themselves from the vast, cataclysmic indifference of the crumbling world in which they subsist.

The house party is the humble attempt by students to fill the void of fear and loneliness that festers away inside their hearts. It involves inviting many, many people who they barely

know, round to their domicile and then drinking until they fall over. It is a fairly efficacious system.

The amount of house parties a student attends is directly proportional to the amount of time they have spent at their university. By the third year, even if you are a lazy, caustic, bitter, sociopathic misanthrope, who would rather shut himself up in a room all day eating Jaffa Cakes and binge-playing Final Fantasy XII while crying than talk to ‘real people’, you will still find you are required to grace at least one house party a fortnight with your pale snarling presence.

House parties are supposed to be fun, and thus, like most things that are supposed to be fun, are a harrowing trial that can usually only be survived by achieving inebriation through utilisation of the last legal drug.

Just as orgies, as Mark points out in Peep Show, basically just increase the

number of people you can no longer look in the eye, attending a house party basically just increases (exponentially) the amount of people who you have to pretend to be interested in and lie to when asked how you are.

Attending a house party basically just increases the amount of people you have to pretend to be interested in Readers take note: the answers “I’m fine” or “I’m good, thanks” are the only viable ones when your well-being is queried. You cannot, apparently, say, “Well, today I woke up at half past ten and felt so numb and dead inside that I

forced myself to drift back into the inky nothingness of sleep until the morning had died. But that didn’t help because I dreamt of little purple demons that wanted to tear me to shreds and take all of my CDs away, apart from David Gray (who I don’t even like, because when he sings he sounds like a sheep). Then I got up and became incredibly angry because there were no Jaffa Cakes left and I couldn’t be bothered to go and buy any more.

But then I felt good for about half an hour because I looked at a pretty woman on the television and concocted a fantasy in my head where I owned a stately home and she baked cookies, and I tried one of the cookies and said: ‘This cookie is terrible’. And then she went and baked some more cookies and they were much better.”

If you say that, if you tell the truth, if you open up your heart and let a separate entity have a glimpse inside, you

of Muslims, like the vast majority of the global population, are peaceful, friendly people who find violence repellent.

However, multiculturalism is never going to work if those of every religious and political belief do not feel able to engage in an open, honest and frank discussion. There are issues that desperately need addressing.

Personally, I’d like to discuss such topics as the dangerous subjectivity of the concept of Jihad and what can be done to ensure extremist readings of it are not allowed to flourish; the media’s propagation of only the negative aspects of Islam; and the best ways to reconcile our different beliefs in order to promote a tolerant and integrated society. Other individuals will have different, perhaps more invidious concerns; all should be viable for debate.

It might not be pretty, and it will be difficult. But a real debate is greatly preferable to segregated communities mumbling away their indignation and allowing prejudices and ignorance to fester. Nobody should be too frightened to voice their concerns. Free speech is freedom to offend, and everyone must be prepared to be offended if we are ever to make any progress in ending the divisions between our different communities.

Effort and concessions are required from all.

Until this happens, you could do a lot worse than logging on to www.gairrhydd.com and joining the fray. It’s badly punctuated, badly spelt, and often badly argued, but amid the WHOLLY UNNECESSARY capital letters and bizarre tangential rants there are some excellent points, and at the moment it’s the closest we’ve got to a proper debate.

get a reputation for being “weird and scary”. This is because people are afraid off the truth. They shy away from it like Hollyoaks fans from rationality.

Occasionally, when just the right level of drunkenness is achieved and a sprinkle of luck imbues the atmosphere, a house party occurs that is so mind-blowing in its joyous decadence that you forget that you hate everybody in the world and lose yourself in mirthful abandon. And this is why you keep going to house parties and hiding your corroded soul; because one can never tell when the night you will reminisce about in years to come will occur.

So far, others have informed me, these nights have mostly happened when I am not present. But sooner or later I’m bound to witness a fabled Great Night. Look out for me next time - I’ll be in the corner sneering. Do not ask me how I am.

gairrhydd 15

LETTERS

MARCH.19.2007 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com The gair rhydd website is a great place to discuss your opinions about articles featured in the paper. However, don't forget that you can e-mail any of your opinions on other matters to the letters page. We are always eager to hear what you have to say.

Comments from the disscussion on ‘Raising awarness’ “It is greatly unfortunate that so many people have consumed such a deeply spurious conception of Islam and not the true essence. The very meaning of Islam is peace and submission...Why do we so readily choose to accept a negative view generated by the misguided and choose to ignore the, by far, greatly positive aspects; the true beauty that exists within Islam.”

“You keep on saying that Islam is a sexist religion but I am a Muslim woman and I love my religion. Now you may think that I am a suppressed and brainwashed poor Muslim girl but I am also a feminist and I had no trouble reconciling my feminist sensibilities with my religion. Islam is a woman that gives women many rights; it was one of the first societies

Richard Wilson: what the fudge are you on about?

Steggley: 4-0 up at half time I want Ray Stubbs for my wedding How r u, Pugh?

Monster: midfield sub extraordinnaire Joel Hurd?

More like: Joel Turd - STFU

should learn more about Islam before judging the religion.

It is clear to see that the website is being used as a forum for political debate among students who are discussing their political and religious beliefs.

A wide range of issues were raised in the posts from Muslim women, to the IRA, and Welsh and English divides. All of which were clearly emotive issues that provoked left and right wing responses.

Many of the posters posted several times, responding to each others attacks, making it clear that the site is not being used by enough students to be representative of a student voice.

‘Raising awareness’ was not the only article under discussion on the gair rhydd web pages. Last week’s in the world to give women inheritance laws and for women to be able to divorce their husbands.” “...you seem to keep talking about Muslims as a whole that jointly believe it’s their mission in life to destory anyone dissimilar to them.

Maths shows us that it’s the minority that are harbouring such beliefs. Out of all the millions of Muslims around the world there is a proportionately small number who are attmepting to attack non-Muslims. Don’t you think it irrational to attack such a huge group of people for a small fractions actions?”

“As a non-Muslim of Cardiff University I believe we should all have the right to express ourselves (including through prayer) in comfortable and free surroundings.”

“Muslims aren’t perfect because they are just like us, human beings. That

My pooo is green today 5-2 up with 8 mins to go Why do socialists look like that?

President-erect I found another ‘Brodie’. Turns out, not that rare. Loser But Essex still loses 6-5 after extra time. Go Hampshire!

text: 07791165837

T

here has yet again been much heated debate on the gair rhydd website. Last week’s gair rhydd articles sparked as much discussion as the Muslim prayer room article had done previously.

The ‘Raising Awareness’ article reported that students are being encouraged to learn the truth about Islam through the annual Islamic Awareness Week (IAW).

At the time of writing there have been 59 posts discussing the article, with a wide variety of political views among them.

Some of the perspectives were, again, quite controversial with strong feelings on Islam being voiced.

There were also some posts that defended the Islamic faith and embraced the notion that people

article ‘Devil Dragon Damned’, which reported that a Christian group has labelled the Welsh flag the ‘sign of Satan’, also had some heated responses.

As you can imagine there were posters who strongly disagreed with the Christian group’s opinion of the dragon.

However, most of the posts were debating the idea of nationality and Welsh and English identity.

Again there were some controversial voices that are hopefully not representative of students here at Cardiff University.

The website discussions are providing some interesting and surprising responses and it would be great to see more students using the web site to gage a wider range of thoughts. doen’t mean you are at liberty to make sweeping, denegrating, statements about the religion of Islam based on a few well publicised actions of a few misguided souls.”

Comments from the disscussion on ‘Devil dragon damned’ “The Welsh Dragon represnts the proud history of the Welsh nation. It is also important in these cosmopolitan times not to isolate sections of society. If the Dragon was replaced by the cross of St David that would only serve to isolate the nonChristian sections of the Welsh society.”

“The only flag that represents Satan is the Union Jack. There’s no black in the Union Jack but there’s plenty of red (for blood) on the “Butcher’s Apron”. To the Christian group who

@

letter of the week

Muslims not ‘the others’ Dear gair rhydd, I FELT it appropriate to write a letter regarding the front page article of last week’s gair rhydd.

As anyone who visited the newspapers website would have seen there was a heated discussion about the need for such a prayer room, something I was quite greatly disappointed at.

Throughout the discussion a single and repeated theme could be seen, Muslims are seen as the ‘other’. They were talked about not as native British students who deserved to be represented and treated like all other segments of the university community, but rather they were an outside and foreign entity.

It’s not surprising that such a concept is so entrenched in the mind of many, from media to politics, Muslims are always ‘the other’.

So perhaps it was a nice change of tone to see gair ryhdd supporting and spout this dargon/devil nonesencewake up, when was the last time you saw the Cymru ripping through the lands of innocent nations?”

“I’ve come across this silliness once before, but just about all the Christians I know have the sense to know that likening Satan to a dragon is just an image. The Bible also compares the devil to a roaring lion, so are they also going to campaign for the lions to be removed from the royal flag? But wait a moment, the lion is also used as a symbol for Jesus! Most Christians don’t get tied up in knots about these things, it’s just that only the wacky ones make the news.”

“What’s that? Some delusional religious types making a fuss over nothing again? I say just to annoy them we put a pentagram on the flag as well and have the Dragon sacrificing

representing Muslim students as a part of the university. Unlike many other news outlets, it has kept by its integrity and dignity by avoiding yellow journalism.

One of the main arguments made against a prayer room is (as some put it) that it is a waste of university funds.

Last time I checked, Muslim students paid university fees and so are entitled to some university funding. Additional to this, it was mentioned in the article that external funding will also be sought.

We’re not asking for a multi-thousand pound sports facility, or a renovated students’ union? We’re asking for a modest and readily available room to simply pray in.

The sooner it is realised that Muslim students are not ‘the other’, but rather a part of the community, the sooner we can move towards a more mature and integrated university.

A disappointed Muslim student a virgin to the dark Lord! What a load of horses**t! The dragon is something that makes Wales distinctive, plus if we had the cross of St David it would be as boring as every other flag! Long live the Dragon! It’s been around longer than Christianity in Wales and it’ll be here long after it’s gone!”

“The article is a load of crap. Not once have I thought that the Welsh dragon referred to anything Satanic.

Religion can be so petty and annoying sometimes. And apart from anything else, I think the Welsh flag is the coolest looking flag in the world.”

“I don’t support the methods of terrorist organisations, that’s why I do not support the terrorist activities of the English Crown’s armies of occupation.”

visit www.thereddragoncentre.co.uk

The Red Dragon Centre, Cardiff Bay, Hemingway Road CF10 4JY Tel: 02920 256261

16 gairrhydd

FEATURES

MARCH.19.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

March 25 Abolition of UK Slavery day - March 25 Abolition of UK Slavery day - Marc

A brief history of slavery With the Abolition of UK Slavery being celebrated on March 25, Tasha Prest-Smith reflects on the facts and figures about slavery The Facts about Slavery

I

t is easy to think primarily of the transatlantic Slave Trade when considering the issue of slavery.

However, slavery predates writing and evidence for it can be found in almost all cultures and continents.

Its many origins remain unknown.

By 950 AD, for example, people were captured in southern Africa, taken to Ghana on the west coast of Africa, and sold as slaves. Arab traders bought them, transported them across the Sahara and sold them on to the wealthy in the Mediterranean and the Middle East.

In short, the slave trade was already a part of African culture, and people were already both subordinated and treated as commodities.

The Transatlantic Slave Trade began in 1502 when growing sugar cane (and a few other crops) was found to be a lucrative enterprise. It is believed that about 11-12 million men, women and children were transported in ships across the Atlantic to various ports in the New World - mostly to South America and the islands in the Caribbean.

This transportation continued until 1807, although slavery was not abolished as a whole throughout the British Empire until 1834. 173 years – an uncomfortably short while ago, particularly when it is considered that slavery was not abolished in the USA until 1863.

How The European Slave Trade Developed Although Portugal was the first nation to set up colonies on the Atlantic coast of Africa and set up sugar plantations for slaves in Brazil, unfortunately it wasn't long until England got involved in the European (transatlantic) Slave Trade, under the reign of Elizabeth I. In 1562, John Hawkins bought slaves in Sierra Leone, took them to Hispaniola, one of the Antilles, where he traded them for sugar and hides.

This was the beginning of the Slave Triangle. Typically, a voyage might set out from Bristol, taking cloth and manufactured goods to West Africa, bought slaves to Jamaica or Florida, and brought back, in return, sugar, tobacco and later cotton to England.

Slaves were usually captured by

African tribes in raids or open warfare, or purchased from other African tribes.

Many West African chiefs were happy to get rid of their enemies by capturing and selling them for trade goods such as whisky, swords, guns and gold.

Whole tribes were often captured and sold, not just the warriors.

Far from passively accepting their imprisonment, some transported Africans actively resisted the brutality of their captors. African slaves are known to have engaged in at least 250 shipboard rebellions during the period of the transatlantic crossings.

Predictably, the living conditions for the slaves were terrible. A third of them died on their voyage across the Atlantic. Another third died within three years of landing because of disease, the brutality of their owners or general neglect.

A third of slaves died on the Atlantic voyage.

Another third died within three years of landing from disease As a measures against rebellions, slaves were often fitted with spiked iron collars to stop them escaping.

Similarly, the children of slaves usually became the property of the slave master.

Having originated from tropical West Africa, it was widely believed that slaves would be effective workers, being accustomed to hot climates and to the infectious diseases prevalent in the tropics. But while Africans may have carried some resistance to tropical diseases, they had no such immunity to the numerous European diseases that spread through the New World.

As a result, smallpox, chicken pox, cholera, whooping cough and other diseases continually ravaged slave populations.

While the treatment of slaves varied according to time and location, it is

usually apparent that in those cases where slaves were treated better, they were more likely to be productive, trained and efficacious, perhaps even taking pride in their work.

Harsh treatment had the opposite reaction. It reduced morale, lowered productivity, required higher levels of supervision, and also removed all incentive for slave workers to work harder than necessary to get by.

Revolts by slaves were always savagely repressed. Absentee ownership, particularly in Brazil and the Caribbean islands, often caused the overseers to literally work the slaves to death.

They had little or no incentive to take care of another person’s human property, particularly as most of them regarded the Africans as sub-human.

The peak of he European Slave Trade was in 1786. Over the last hundred years, 2,130,000 slaves had been transported to British colonies in America.

Famous Slaves There are several famous African slaves who helped fight against the injustice of their situation.

Nat Turner was born into slavery in Virginia in 1800. He was one of the few slaves who had the chance to learn to read and write. He also got along well with his second (and last) master, Joseph Travis.

Turner had always lived a religious life since childhood and felt that he was appointed by God to liberate slaves. He and some friends killed numerous whites in two days in 1831, in an act of rebellion. He was hung and skinned on November 11 of that year.

Araminta Ross was luckier. She was born into slavery in Maryland, and later changed her name to Harriet Tubman. She was one of the few women slaves to escape and was taken in by whites. She was a large part of the development of the Underground Railroad (a freedom train for runaway slaves to North America).

She was a vital guide and helper during the fight to free blacks and the American Civil War in the 1860s.

Tubman was never caught in her acts and she used the rest of her life in dedication to black and women’s

rights. She endured inhumane treatment from some masters, bearing the scars of beatings until she died, age 91.

Margaret Garner was a 'mulatto' (half-black, half-white) slave, notorious - or celebrated - for killing her own daughter rather than see the child returned to slavery.

Garner was born on a farm in Kentucky. In 1856, she and her husband, Robert, along with their four children, escaped slavery and fled to Ohio, along with several other slave families.

Slave catchers and police found the Garners barricaded inside a former slave’s house in which the family were taking refuge. They stormed the house and pursued the fugitive slaves from room to room.

Margaret killed her two-year-old daughter with a butcher knife rather than see the child returned to slavery.

She was preparing to kill her other children and herself when she was subdued by the posse.

The entire group was taken to jail and a subsequent trial lasted for two weeks; Margaret was forced to return to a slave state along with Robert, her two sons and her baby daughter. The steamboat on which the Garners were travelling began to sink, and Margaret and her baby daughter were thrown overboard. Sadly, the baby was drowned.

Robert and Margaret were eventually sold to Judge Bonham for plantation labour at Tennessee Landing.

Margaret died in 1858 of typhoid

fever; her life story is the foundation of Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved.

The Aftermath of Slavery The 200th year of the abolition of slavery is clearly a time for reflection.

Slavery is, without dispute, one of the single most shameful and inhumane activities with which humans have been involved.

In September 2006 it was reported that the UK Government may issue a ‘statement of regret’ over slavery, an act that was followed through by a ‘public statement of sorrow’ from Tony Blair in November 2006.

The damage, of course, can never be undone. In amid the horrors, injustice and sadism of slavery, however, the spirit of the captives must not be forgotten.

Blues music evolved in the USA in the communities of former African slaves, from spirituals, praise songs, field hollers and chants. It heavily influenced later Western popular music, becoming part of the genres of ragtime, jazz, bluegrass, rhythm and blues, rock and roll, hip-hop, and even country music.

Most of all, the resilience and courage of all slaves on a daily basis is testimony enough to the inner grace with which they were endowed; grace which, ironically, white slave masters, who passed themselves off as superior beings, were utterly devoid of.

gairrhydd 17

FEATURES

MARCH.19.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

ch 25 Abolition of UK Slavery day - March 25 Abolition of UK Slavery day

Slavery in our modern world

200 years after the abolition of slavery Samantha Shillabeer looks at the issues of slavery that still prevail in the 21st century

W

hen the words ‘Slave Trade’ are mentioned you may think of the American Civil War or of the shipment of slaves from Africa to other parts of the British Empire.

Whatever your associations, it is seen very much as part of our history and, as the abolition of the Slave Trade celebrates its 200th anniversary this year, you would be forgiven for thinking that the problem has been left in the past. But the reality is that slavery is still very much alive today and for millions of people around the world it is a harsh fact of life.

According to the Anti-Slavery Society, “Although there is no longer any state which legally recognizes, or which will enforce, a claim by a person to a right of property over another, the abolition of slavery does not mean that it ceased to exist.

There are millions of people throughout the world - mainly children - in conditions of slavery, as well as in various forms of servitude which are in many respects similar to slavery.”

In fact, the slave trade is not just still in existence, but there are reports that

it is actually on the rise. It is estimated that there are currently over 27 million people held as slaves today – a higher number than at the moment the abolition bill was passed.

The resurgence of the modern-day slave trade can be explained by rapid population growth and changes in the world’s economy over the past 50 years.

In the 18th Century, slaves were notoriously expensive to purchase, with the average slave in America costing $40,000. Today that figure is just $90.

This, along with the ease of transporting slaves, has left millions of economically and socially vulnerable people in danger of becoming part of this trade.

But what exactly is slavery? There is often confusion between low-wage workers in inhumane conditions and actual slavery. However, what distinguishes slaves from other poorly treated workers is their complete inability to escape; they are brought and sold as a commodity and held in actual physical bondage.

Slavery can affect people irrespec-

tive of age, sex or nationality, and at this very moment it is in existence in almost every country in the world.

The African Slave Trade was legally abolished in the early 1880s, but forced labour continues to be practised in West and Central Africa today.

UNICEF estimates that 200,000 children from this region are sold into slavery each year.

Many of these are from the continent’s poorest countries like Benin and Togo, and are sold into the domestic, agricultural, and sex industries of wealthier neighbouring countries such as Nigeria and Gabon.

Reports from India have also found that between 200,000 and 300,000 children as young as five years old are kidnapped from their villages and held captive in locked rooms, forced to weave on looms for food.

Despite the illegality of the slave trade, the ‘business’ is often coordinated by national governments in order to meet the economic needs of the country.

In the Dominican Republic, the government collects cane-cutters for the busy harvest season. When the

number of workers does not meet the harvest’s demand, the Dominican army is set into action. The army’s captives are forced to work at gunpoint and beaten if they try to escape.

These examples illustrate the horrors that slaves today have to endure.

But perhaps the most astonishing fact is that slavery is not just happening in third world countries; it is widely practised in nations of world dominance too.

Human trafficking, the act of smuggling a person across a national border in order to force him or her into slavery is on the rise in countries such as the USA. The U.S. Central Intelligence Agency estimates that 50,000 people a year are trafficked into or transited through America to be sold as sex, domestic, garment, and agricultural slaves.

These people are subject to the same horrific conditions and lack of freedom as slaves in the third world. The examples only illustrate a fraction of the problem.

Slavery is happening all over the world, despite that fact that it is not

legal anywhere. So what action, if any, is being taken? And is it enough?

A quick search of Google provides hundreds of websites for organizations designed to promote awareness of the current slave trade.

Free the Slaves, an American nonprofit organisation, states that: “We believe that ending slavery worldwide is an ambitious – and realizable – goal that requires a solid commitment.”

But in order to achieve commitment, people need to actually be aware of what is happening.

Why is the modern-day slave trade given such little publicity considering its extent? Non-profit organizations are doing their bit, but until the government and the public take a stand, like they did 200 years ago, the problem will just spiral further and further out of control.

This weekend celebrates the anniversary of the abolition of slavery, but for millions of people around the world being held against their will, so much more action still needs to be taken.

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gairrhydd 19

TAF-OD

MARCH.19.2007 TAFOD@gairrhydd.COM

Coleg Cymraeg Dafydd Sion

M

ewn cyfarfod ym Mangor nôl yn 1998 penderfynwyd fod angen coleg Ffederal – neu goleg aml-safle – os am weld gwella yn y ddarpariaeth mewn addysg uwch Gymraeg. Ond dros wyth mlynedd yn ddiweddarach nid oes coleg o’r fath wedi ei sefydlu, ar gychwyn cael ei sefydlu, nac ar fin cael ei sefydlu.

Dim ond 1.5% o’r myfyrwyr sydd yn astudio yng ngholegau Prifysgol Cymru sydd yn dilyn eu pwnc drwy gyfrwng y Gymraeg a dim ond 0.5% o gyllideb addysg uwch Cymru sydd yn cael ei wario ar addysg yn Gymraeg.

Ac felly yn dilyn protestiadau cyson yn Aberystwyth, ac un yma yng Nghaerdydd yn cysgu dros nôs o flaen adeilad y Cynulliad Cenedlaethol, cynhaliwyd rali yng Nghanolfan y Morfa, Aberystwyth ar Chwefror 17 gyda Dilwyn Roberts-Young, Mererid Hopwood, Elin Jones a Meredydd Evans yn siaradwyr.

Cyflwynwyd sawl dadl yn y ddwyawr ac felly rhaid i mi gwmpasu’r hyn a drafodwyd ryw ychydig.

Gofyn am yr hawl i bob siaradwr Cymraeg dderbyn ei addysg uwch drwy gyfrwng ei famiaith oedd neges y diwrnod. Gofyn hefyd am gychwyn strwythur fydd ymhen blynyddoedd, pump i ddeng mlynedd a mwy yn achos rhai pynciau, yn galluogi ei bod hi’n bosib, rywle yng Nghymru, dysgu unrhyw bwnc yn Gymraeg.

Nid gofyn am un campws ar un safle (er enghraifft un prifysgol mawr yng Nghaerdydd neu yn Aberystwyth) yw’r alwad ond yn hytrach, y ddarpariaeth am gyllid parhaol i hyfforddi darlithwyr Cymraeg cymwys, fel fod modd ddysgu pob un pwnc, rywle yng Nghymru, yn Gymraeg. Pe tai person yn dewis dilyn Meddygaeth yn Gymraeg, Caerdydd fyddai’r brifysgol fyddai’n gallu cynnig cwrs trwy’r Gymrarg. A phe tai person eisiau dilyn gradd mewn Bywydeg y Môr, wel Bangor fyddai’r adran i fynd.

Cwestiwn mawr arall a ystyriwyd oedd pam y dylai’r Gymraeg fod yn iaith israddol i’r Saesneg? Nid yn unig yn iaith israddol yng ngolwg y diGymraeg ond yn israddol yn fy ngolwg i, a chi a phob un o siaradwyr Cymraeg prifysgolion Cymru. Pam fo rhai pyn-

ciau, er enghraifft Cymraeg (yn naturiol) neu Hanes, neu Addysg yn addas i’w dysgu drwy’r Gymraeg ond fod eraill, y pynciau go-iawn, mwy academaidd yn ôl rhai, yn rhy anodd a rhy dechnegol o bosib, i gael eu trin yn Gymraeg?

Rhaid i ni Gymry Cymraeg, felly, ystyried ein hagwedd ni ein hunain. Ydym yn barod i barhau i gydfynd â’r cysyniad hurt mai iaith yr aelwyd yn unig yw ein mamiaith neu ydym ni’n barod i fynnu lle cydradd i’r Gymraeg gyda’r Saesneg a’i gwthio i fod yn iaith diwydiant ac yn iaith dysg?

Yr hyn a’m trawodd i fwyaf yn y rali yn Aberystwyth oedd nad brwydyr am le i’r Gymraeg yn y byd addysg uwch yn unig oedd yr alwad am Goleg Ffederal ond brwydr am le cyfartal i’r Gymraeg, ochr yn ochr â’r Saesneg, yn y Gymru fodern. Hawl oedd gair y diwrnod. Yr Hawl sylfaenol i dderbyn addysg drwy ein iaith ni, yr iaith sydd yn dod fwyaf naturiol i ni. Dim ond gobeithio allwn yn awr fod y gwleidyddion yn gwrando ac na fydd rhaid i ni gael wyth mlynedd arall o ddifaterwch.

Pawb a’i Farn Huw Pritchard

Y

r wythnos yma, am y tro cyntaf, bydd Diwrnod Cenedlaethol Addysg Gymraeg yn cael ei gynnal. Ar Fawrth 20 bydd cyfle i chi gael dweud eich dweud a lleisio eich barn am y ddarpariaeth Gymraeg yng Nghaerdydd ac yng Nghymru.

Y gobaith yw y bydd y diwrnod yma yn rhoi cyfle i fyfyrwyr ddatgan eu cwynion a’u profiadau am y ffordd y mae addysg a darpariaeth Gymraeg yn cael ei drin o fewn y brifysgol.

Bydd pob prifysgol yn cyflwyno rhestr o gwynion gan fyfyrwyr a fydd yn dangos y problemau y maent wedi eu cael wrth geisio astudio drwy’r Gymraeg. Efallai eich bod chi’n un o’r myfyrwyr hyn. Efallai eich bod chi wedi cael trafferth wrth geisio cael llety Cymraeg neu fod dim darpariaeth Cymraeg yn eich adran?

Dyma’r cyfle perffaith i ddangos nad ydych yn barod i’w dderbyn. Bydd hyn yn tynnu sylw’r prifysgolion a dangos bod myfyrwyr yn poeni am ddyfodol eu haddysg nhw a dyfodol addysg Gymraeg.

Gall cymhwyster ychwanegol,

megis rhan o’ch addysg drwy’r Gymraeg, fod yn fantais fawr i raddedigion mewn byd cystadleuol.

Dylai prifysgolion Cymru fod yn cynnig hyn; ac yn bwysicach fyth dylent fod yn falch o’i gynnig fel rhan bwysig o fywyd prifysgol.

Dros y diwrnod bydd colegau addysg uwch ar draws Cymru yn cynnal gweithgareddau i godi sylw at yr achos. Mae UMCA, UMCB ac UMCC ynghyd â Gym Gym UWIC yn gwneud trefniadau i roi llais i fyfyrwyr Cymraeg y prifysgolion.

Bydd rhai myfyrwyr yn gwrthod mynychu darlithoedd a seminarau Saesneg, yn enwedig ble mae modd iddynt gael eu dysgu drwy’r Gymraeg.

Dyma gyfle gwych i godi llais a dangos bod addysg Gymraeg yn bwysig i fyfyrwyr y brifddinas. Os oes gennych chi unrhyw gwynion neu eisiau rhannu eich profiadau gwnewch yn si?r eich bod chi’n cysylltu â UMCC ar umcc@hotmail.co.uk neu'r undeb ar h.t.p@hotmail.co.uk. Mae eich barn chi’n cyfri hefyd.

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SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

MARCH.19.2007 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

Say goodbye to your gas guzzler, Science & Environment shows yo

Driving down th Chris White Science Correspondent

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he automotive industry seems an unlikely candidate to save the planet. On British roads alone, over 30 million cars belch around 85 million tonnes of carbon into the atmosphere every year.

Yet the Geneva Motor Show a fortnight ago featured row upon row of “Green Machines”, with different alternative fuels each vying to become the power source of choice for cleaner cars.

Hydrogen fuel cells are a particularly impressive candidate for “greening” the motor trade. By reacting hydrogen and oxygen in the presence of an electrolyte – a non-metallic conductor in which electrical flow is carried by the movement of ions – fuel cells can generate electricity without combustion, pumping out only water and making them exceptionally environmentally friendly as a source of energy for transportation.

Though they have been used by NASA for the space programme, the cost of materials has ruled out widespread commercial use – until now.

For the cells to run at a low temperature and be useable for transportation, they need to use a catalyst to get the reaction started. The Polymer Electrolyte Membrane (PEM) cells in development for use in vehicles employ platinum as a catalyst, but platinum tends to degrade with use – and it’s expensive. Energy produced by fuel cells using platinum as a catalyst costs around $1000 per kilowatt – around $100,000 per car.

Earlier this year, however, research at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in the US, sponsored jointly by the Department of Energy and General Motors, uncovered a platinum-nickel alloy 90 times more efficient than the carbon ones currently used. “It’s far and away the most active oxygen-reducing catalyst ever reported,” says Lawrence Berkeley spokesperson Lynn Yarris.

Though using this new alloy could

reduce the amount of platinum required by a factor of 20, it’s still too expensive for the production-lines, but has paved the way for the next stage of development.

Project scientist Vojislav Stamenkovic says that the target energy cost of around $30 per kilowatt ($3000 per car) can be achieved by engineering nanoparticle catalysts with the same properties as the larger platinum-nickel crystals.

“This will have an impact on the total amount of platinum in the fuel cell, making the system less expensive and more efficient,” he says.

Fuel cells’ potential is exciting industry and government alike, with £50 million from the UK’s public purse being invested in a hydrogen ‘demonstration scheme’ as part of a wider commitment to the research, development and promotion of green alternatives. “Our ability to bring new clean energy technologies to market is fundamental if we’re going to radically reduce emissions,” says Climate Change and Environment Minister Ian Pearson.

Yet not everyone is convinced.

Former US Assistant Secretary of Energy Dr Joseph Romm outlined the difficulty of using fuel cells for transportation in his book, The Hype About Hydrogen. He remains sceptical despite Lawrence Berkeley Lab’s breakthrough.

“So many things have to go right,” he says. “And someone’s still going to have to build the hydrogen fuel stations. I don’t see that happening.”

The production and distribution of the hydrogen remains the biggest hurdle. Not only is it difficult to transport and store, as it’s so light, but it also doesn’t occur naturally and has to be produced from water – and uses more energy making it than can be extracted in fuel cells.

As the initial energy input often comes from coal-fired power stations, its green credentials are questionable – it would need to be manufactured using clean energy sources for there to be any environmental benefit.

That hasn’t stopped oil companies getting on board to maintain their fuel

A solar powered supercar, perhaps not that useful in Wigan

supply business when fuel cell technology comes into widespread use.

The first forecourt to supply liquid hydrogen for fuel opened in Reykjavik in 2003, powering the city’s bus fleet.

Its owners, Royal Dutch Shell, have a division devoted to the development of fuel cell technology, and expect a market by 2015.

But economics writer and preciousmetal dealer Tim Worstall – who subsidised initial research into a different kind of fuel cell and is currently supplying materials for them (see “Are the best kind of fuel cell”, below) – has another idea. “As far as I can see it’s going to have to be distributed generation: home fuelling packs,” he says.

Worstall claims that the best way to produce the required fuel at home is to use titanium dioxide, in the presence of sunlight, to split water into hydrogen and oxygen. “Make roof tiles out of titanium dioxide slag, which is pretty cheap stuff – it’s the white in white paint – and generate the hydrogen from the rooftop of your house,” he suggests. “All this is at least another decade away, though.”

Even if full development of the technology is ten years away, there’s cause for enthusiasm already. The most advanced hydrogen-powered car to date is General Motors’ HydroGen3 prototyp, approved for use on public roads in Japan. It has a range of 250 miles and a top speed of 100mph – and its fuel cells are small enough that they could potentially be manufactured

in an existing plant. After another decade of development, hydrogen fuel cells might just achieve what was pre-

viously thought impossible: pleasing both petrolheads and environmentalists.

Are they the best kind of fuel cell?

While most current fuel cell research and development concentrates on PEM cells, the Solid-state Energy Conversion Alliance - part of the US Department of Energy - is funding research into solid oxide fuel cells (SOFCs), with a parallel programme in the EU. Rather than taking in air, SOFCs use an oxide electrolyte to provide the system with oxygen. Although they use less expensive materials than PEM cells, they need to run at a high temperature (around 900ºC) and are, at present, better suited to use in combined heat and power plants for the home or businesses.

Though the technology is five to ten years behind PEM cells, they could be used at a lower temperature – and for vehicles – in the future, with the addition of the rare earth metal scandium.

Tests on an electrolyte made of scandium, yttrium and zirconium oxides as part of the EU’s SOFC programme have shown that the required temperature comes down. They are currently experimenting with the proportions of each element to get the lowest possible starting temperature.

gairrhydd

MARCH.19.2007 SCIENCE@gairrhydd.COM

21

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

ou the environmentally friendly future of the automotive industry

he greener road The Other Alternatives

Battery powered cars have suffered from a lack of cool factor, but that may be about to change

Biofuels

Electric

Fuel made from living organisms or their byproducts, usually refers to biologically produced diesel and ethanol (“biodiesel” and “bioethanol”). Biofuels are carbon neutral - since the carbon released has been recently captured by plants, they don’t affect the net amount of carbon in the atmosphere. The energy released per amount of carbon emitted is lower than for fossil fuels, however.

While biologically derived fuels have EU support under their Biofuels Directive, with a target of 5.75% of energy generation to come from biofuels by the end of 2010, they’re plagued by politics in the US, where the government is subsidising production of biofuels from corn rather than using more efficient imported sugarcane - the amount of corn required to produce enough fuel to fill an SUV could feed an average person for a year. Increased demand has also raised the price of food, with the cost of British wheat increasing by over 50% in the last year.

An advantage of biofuels is that they can be some can be used in existing engines - many diesel engines will run on biodiesel, and fuel composed of 100% biodiesel is available across Europe, though it is more common to use a blend of up to 20% bi-diesel and 80% hydrocarbons.

Although the Sinclair C4 may have ruined their image forever in the UK, battery-powered vehicles have much more support than hydrogen-based technologies in the US, where they’re under production by almost every major car company. They share many issues with hydrogen: their lack of emissions is only truly green if the electricity used to charge the batteries comes from a clean source, but at the same time a devoted home solution – solar panels or a miniature wind turbine – could be employed.

While lengthy recharge times have previously been a problem, Phoenix Motor Cars recently launched a 250 mile range battery pack rechargeable in just ten minutes.

Later this year, Tesla Motors are due to release a roadster developed in partnership with Lotus, with a sale price of around $100,000 (£50,000). Their prototypes were capable of travelling 250 miles before needing to recharge, ran at an energy cost equivalent to 135 miles per gallon of petrol and achieved a top speed of 130 miles per hour – only 20mph slower than Lotus’s Elise.

The current, slower models of electric car are useful for stop-start city driving where speed isn’t too important.

However, the wear caused by frequent short trips can damage the battery – and they can cost up to $20,000 to replace.

Solar Powered by an array of solar panels attached to the car’s body.

Although they’re about as environmentally friendly as it gets, solarpowered vehicles are inefficient except in the case of golf buggies, which spend most of their lives parked and recharging. While they are useable in sunny climes such as Australia, where the Wold Solar Challenge sees sun-powered vehicles racing over 3000km every two years, for much of the UK (and elsewhere) it would be more useful to employ rain-power than solar. They aren’t great performers either – even specially built racing cars which minimise friction and drag, such as the Dutch-built Nuna 3 (pictured), are currently limited to under 90mph, and unlikely to get any quicker.

Although their poor performance and adverse climate all but rules out their use in much of the developed world, they may be a useful technology in warmer developing countries where the other green alternatives may find it hard to penetrate.

Hydrogen combustion BMW are currently pioneering hydrogen internal combustion rather than fuel cells – essentially the same as a normal internal combustion engine but burning liquid hydrogen rather than petrol.

Yet while this avoids the need for an expensive catalyst as with PEM cells or high temperatures as with SOFCs, the inherent inefficiency of combustion combined with the cost of producing hydrogen in the first place means it’s unlikely that this would be any cheaper than using fuel cells. Joseph Romm, sceptical as ever, described it as a “particularly pointless thing to do”.

Like biofuels, however, they do have the advantage of being able to provide transportation with zero carbon emissions at the point of use without the need for significant technological development – existing engines can be converted to run on hydrogen.

As is the case with many of the other alternatives mentioned, while this hydrogen would, in the short term, be produced in coal-fired power stations, it would be beneficial to produce emissions only in a limited number of locations, where they can be easily managed.

22 gairrhydd MARCH.19.2007

HEALTH

HEALTH@gairrhydd.COM

They tried to make me go to rehab Lately, you can not open a magazine without finding a story on the latest celeb to check into rehab, so this week Health Editor Liz Stauber takes a look at some of the afflictions the rich and famous seem to be suffering from.

Anger Management obody can forget the incidents that took place during this year’s Celebrity Big Brother.

Jade Goody’s reasoning behind her aggression was that she did not know how to show her anger in the right way. She soon checked into The Priory to seek help in managing her anger.

Everyone feels angry sometimes, it is a normal response to some situations.

However, if it is not well managed, it can damage every aspect of everyday life. It is important for people to

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learn how to express their feelings in healthy way.

Anger is an emotion which can vary intensely; from slight irritation to blind rage. It causes physical changes in the body such as an increase in adrenaline levels and a faster heart rate. Some people can show anger in a constructive way, but others - like Jade Goody - become aggressive.

There are a number of ways to relieve the pent up feelings inside.

The first would be to try and calm down. Taking deep breaths is one method, as is counting to ten or repeating a word, such as “relax”, to yourself until the feelings subside. If

it is necessary, a person should leave the situation as soon as they can.

It is also important to learn how to express yourself calmly. Think about what it is that is making you angry and what you want to say. Be patient and work out the best way to handle the situation without becoming violent.

Finally, a change in lifestyle could also help. Regular exercise or relaxation methods are a good technique, as is cutting down on the amount of alcohol that is consumed.

Not everybody can control their anger by themselves; in some extreme cases it is necessary to seek outside help such as counselling.

Alcohol Addiction here are four main symptoms for alcohol dependency. Sufferers have constant cravings for a drink; they find it difficult to stop once they have started a drinking session; they have a physical dependence leading to withdrawal symptoms such as nausea and sweating once they have stopped drinking; and their tolerance is increased, so it becomes harder for them to get drunk, leading to more alcohol being consumed.

It is a chronic disease which means that it will last a lifetime. There is no known cure, and even though an addict has been dry for a considerable amount of time, they will always be an alcoholic, so it is recommended that they stay away from drink completely.

It is possible that alcoholism does run in families, although there is no reason to think that because a parent has had a problem, their child will automatically be dependent as well.

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Depression Prescription Drugs n his 33rd birthday, Robbie Williams checked himself into an American rehab clinic. He had decided it was time to tackle his dependency on prescription drugs.

This addiction is not so widely recognised as a problem. As the medications are available over the counter people do not believe that they are harmful. They are considered to be legal drugs. Problems occur when peo-

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Drug Dependency ete Doherty is not only known for being Mr Kate Moss. The Babyshambles star is also known for his many brushes with the law over his love of illegal drugs.

Drug addiction is seen by many

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ple continue to take the medication when it is no longer necessary for them to do so. In some cases, they believe that they can still feel the pain which causes them to be prescribed the medication in the first place.

There is no one particular group which is most at risk. Any person at any time, no matter what their circumstances, can become reliant on prescription drugs. It can be hard to stop, especially if the doctor is willing to keep providing the prescriptions as they are unaware of the dependency as a strictly social problem. To them, an addict is morally weak and, if not one already, a criminal in the making.

They believe that they should be able to kick the habit whenever they want to.

However, the condition actually represents a major public health

which has built up.

It can become more serious when addicts have their supply cut off, as they go to great lengths to get the drugs - some even resort to taking other peoples medication.

Most people do not realise they are doing anything wrong, as they were prescribed the medication to begin with, and so it can be hard to stop without outside help. Sometimes an intervention is necessary.

problem, and, like prescription drug abuse, it can affect anybody, no matter what their age, class or gender.

At some point during drug use changes occur in the brain that can turn drug abuse into drug addiction.

The disease is treatable, but how depends on the person. It is vital that they have a support network.

If you have suffered, or think you might suffer from any of these problems, the Union’s Advice centre on the third floor can help you find the help you need

he main symptom of depression is the general feeling of misery. However, it is not the sole symptom.

Patients can suffer mood swings, disturbed sleep, anxiety attacks, tearfulness for no reason and may have a very short temper. They may also feel lethargic and suffer a loss of appetite.

Statistics show that up to 12% of men are known to suffer from the affliction, and between 20% and 25% of women may be diagnosed with depression.

The higher statistic for females is accounted for with post-natal depression, which can affect women in the first six months after the birth, but can last for a considerable amount of time.

Depression has to be treated by a professional. Both a mental and physical examination is necessary, and the history of any mental health issue in the family may also be studied.

The remedy is tailored to meet the individual’s needs, with the possibility of both medication and therapy being prescribed.

It may take up to twelve weeks for the correct pill

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combination to be discovered and take effect.

There is no known cause for the condition, but it can be a combination of mental and physical factors. It can also occur and reoccur for no apparent reason.

Family history, stress, trauma, and physical illness can all be reasons for why a person becomes depressed.

gairrhydd 23

MARCH.19.2007 POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

A wig and a prayer

POLITICS

Though this will severely bog down efforts towards reform, it should not stop the pros and cons of these fundamental proposals from being weighed up; expanding democracy is no small issue. This nation is already uber-apathetic, and yet another group of people to choose from may turn the electorate right off.

Furthermore, the proposed five-year

term seems too short, and the fact that anyone could stand is a worry, as a peerage wields immense power and prestige. Take the Civil Service: it functions long after governments come and go, lending a sense of stable continuity during the times of political changeover, and so should the Lords.

Thus, perhaps a 15-20 year term would be more appropriate.

But it is the phasing out of hereditary peers that is at the heart of this reform. The title of Lord being passed down from father to son is certainly undemocratic, as it is foolish to assume a son would be as competent as his father. However, via elections the world got Bush Snr and Jnr – the same could soon be said for the Clintons. Enough said.

As regards the possible structure of peer election, it has been suggested that numerous sections of society should stand and internally appoint their own candidates. For example, professional institutions such as the senior medical profession would choose whom to represent them in the highest lawmaking body in the land.

This would give the appointment process internal rigour and stops the decisions falling into the hands of the politicians. Other experts and professionals might include legal, religious, educational, environmental and social scientists, therefore allowing a more legitimate and more scrupulous upper house of wise men and women.

For now, these visions lie in the wings, with peers and MPs at loggerheads for the forseeable future. So, the battle lines are drawn; the Lords can only reject a Commons bill once, so they both need to get their political Houses in order or face them falling down and making a mockery of our political system.

this story in any balanced depth they would have to reverse a time-honoured tradition of demonising the republicans, particularly Sinn Fein.

Sinn Fein have proven their credentials and willingness to co-operate in government by recognising the police of Northern Ireland to be neutral and capable of doing their job.

The media have for a long time now stealthily backed the Unionists as an extended arm of the British government, and to now say it is they who are the troublemakers would be tantamount to stabbing them in the back.

Republicans have largely been portrayed as the instigators and executioners of past violence – as outsiders who are trying to tear the fabric of society apart; therefore the British public have been left generally unsympathetic towards them.

Should the elections of the previous week be accurately relayed to British readers, we would see that in fact republicans have been more accommodating and conciliatory. But this would run contrary to the thrust of previous coverage, so the easy option is to overlook and underreport the issue.

I am not one for conspiracy theories so I point you in the direction of Roy Greenslade, former editor of the Mirror, whose research has shown British media coverage on murders in Northern Ireland to be remarkably skewed, ranking five types of story by coverage.

He found that the killing of British citizens on British soil, most notably from IRA bombings, took up more press pages than any other such incident. Second to this were murders of the armed forces, followed by republi-

cans killing civilians, murders of the IRA or Sinn Fein by security forces, and finally republicans who fell foul to the loyalist paramilitary.

The common thread is that in each of the first three categories republicans are those with blood on their hands, while the fourth shows the death of a republican as a victory and the last, with barely a mention in British tabloids, is the cold-blooded killing of innocent republicans.

A tragic example of this situation was the story of 18-year-old Catholic, Bernadette Martin, who was shot dead in 1998 for her relationship with a Protestant boy next door. This story received no mention in four of our national papers, compared with the IRA killing of two Royal Ulster Constabulary men twelve months before, which after attracting much attention prompted the British government to cut links with Sinn Fein.

A norm has built up on Fleet Street that the death of a republican is not as newsworthy as the death of a unionist.

With peace now around the corner, newspapers and broadcasters are not looking to upset this journalistic status quo and admit that Sinn Fein and their fellow republicans have any positive attributes.

These aren’t foreign dissidents hellbent on wreaking havoc; they are British citizens with a point to make about the running of their country, and the coming days and months could see a positive conclusion to a tumultuous half-century. If a workable deal is indeed reached, it will be a celebration of what mutual compromise can achieve, and a reminder of what violence can hamper.

With Parliament contemplating a Lords’ revolution, Tim Hewish assesses the future of UK democracy

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eform: perhaps the second most important word Blair has wanted to get across to us, falling just behind his infamous “education, education, education”. In his 10 years at Number 10, he has tried to reform numerous things; some were duly needed while others reeked of meddlesome left-wing social engineering.

The topical reform now is the House of Lords. Why should we take note of such a matter? Well, because what is often overlooked is that the Lords is the highest political entity British politics has. It is the scrutinising body that keeps its counterpart, the House of Commons, from turning into a tyrannical lawmaker.

Why does it need reforming though? It has served us well for 400 years and continues to function somewhat effectively. Historically, the Lords comes with all the pomp and circumstance of a Great British institution – the red leather seats, the extremely old men with beards and the ego-inflating titles.

Its critics say that the Lords is undemocratic because it is not elected, and thus is open to democratic abuses, highlighted recently by Labour’s cash-

for-honours scandal. However, it should be noted that the Lords is never meant to be democratic in its purest form; it isn’t meant to reflect the majority outcome of elections; what’s the point of having two chambers if their political make-up is the same?

The Lords is meant to be a chamber that acts as a safety valve, which actually protects democracy. One example of this was Blunkett trying to get bills through the Commons quickly to suit Labour’s fancy.

Such bills might not be in the best interests of the public, despite the fact that we elect the people that table them. Furthermore, such a speeded-up process may lack the normal rigour the Commons uses when formulating laws. In short, the Lords protects us from an authoritarian Commons coming into existence.

The Lords are also freer to act on their conscience, as peers are uninfluenced by the party whips that keep MPs in line. It is appointment to the Lords which is the bigger problem, as who should do the appointing?

Blair doesn’t have the moral integrity to place anyone in power, and most of his appointments have been declarations of ‘cronyism’, whereby they are

EMPTY: the Lords may one day be bare of unelected peers all Blairites in thinking, i.e. ‘yes’ men.

Last week the Commons voted on a new system, and narrowed the options down to either having the Lords be 80% elected and 20% appointed, or 100% elected. But upon referral to the Lords itself, the proposals were emphatically rejected, just as one would expect turkeys to reject Christmas.

SMILES: but has the UK media twisted the face of Ulster republicanism?

Sinn Defamed John Triddon Political Correspondent

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ast week Northern Ireland took a step forward with elections for its Assembly. The results, which saw the Democratic Unionists and Sinn Fein placed first and a close second respectively, are the biggest public showing of support for peace in the region since ‘troubles’ escalated in the 1960s.

So why, after decades of these troubles being at the top of the news agenda, has the restoration of democracy dropped off the British media’s radar?

One answer perhaps is that we on the mainland have become apathetic to the problems of our fellow countrymen across the water, and subsequently their plight is reported less – our media being driven by rarity, surprise, and significance.

The next stage in this episode of Ulster history is the negotiations over

who goes where in the new government, which must be agreed upon by March 26. But this process is being held up by the likes of Peter Robinson, a DUP member who is dragging his feet, calling for Sinn Fein to prove their credentials for government.

And here we have the crunch point.

The real answer is that those who edit and dictate headlines in London are innately biased in their standpoint on Northern Ireland. They are pro-unionist; if the British media were to cover

24 gairrhydd

MEDIA

MACRH.19.2007 MEDIA@gairrhydd.COM

Are you hooked yet?

The rapid rise of new technology leads to the growing concern of addiction to online gadgets Emily Woodrow Media Reporter

E

ver felt naked without your phone? Ever dreaded the thought of walking somewhere without the comfort of your MP3 player? There are growing concerns that people are becoming increasingly addicted to portable technology with one of the main concerns being the blurring of the line between work and private life.

After all, who wants a text from their boss at 2am asking them to come into work early the next day, or an email over dinner attached with their ‘to do’ list for the following work day?

This ‘technology overload’ is due to the proliferation of portable technology products available on today’s market, with new mobile phone styles being released everyday and new internet ‘must have’ websites such as Facebook encouraging people to buy laptops in order to check their ‘wall messages’ whenever they please. As Nada Kakabadse, a Professor at the Northampton Business School says; “It’s addiction to portable technology which you take with you practically to bed, the cinema, to the theatre, to a

dinner party.’’

This obsession is not only causing the blurring of the line between the work and private life, but is also causing people to be less sociable, spending minimal time with their family and friends and more time with their thumbs on a mobile phone or their ears plugged with an ipod.

There are split opinions about this issue. Many people admit, especially the younger generations, that they do struggle to last an hour or so without making contact with their mobile and that they spend a fair few hours a day glued to their laptop.

It is hard to watch television without being encouraged to use your mobile phone After all, there are plenty of times when we rely solely on the company of our portable technology. For example, delayed train journeys when we can’t be bothered to make conversation, especially as the person you are sat next to is normally some weird, prison escapee lookalike.

Although some may argue, as Professor Fred Mast of the University of Lausanne does, that “perhaps we are underestimating the brain’s capacity to adapt to new challenges and that ‘technology overdose’ can actually enhance people’s cognitive abilities, helping them to process more information at the same time.”

Others however believe that this new addiction to technology is actually impairing our judgement and decision-making processes.

But surely it comes down to our own power in decision-making?

Surely we choose whether we want to spend our time surfing the internet when we should be working, or isolating ourselves with music when we could be communicating with others.

The main issue here is prioritising.

As Anneka Buckle, a second year Journalism student says, “I love walking to lectures having a catch-up with my friends, but I couldn’t live without my ipod at the gym.’’

Some would argue that although they feel they are able to prioritise their use of technology to a certain extent, sometimes it is not that straightforward. As Anna Milewski states, “I have three mobile phones.

One for general everyday use, one for

Rooted to the internetRoote work and one solely to call my boyfriend on. Although I try to escape them, I struggle to find a time when at least one of them isn’t glued to my ear.’’

It is believed one of the main reasons for this technology addiction is the media. With so many different media forms now becoming linked, it is hard to watch television without being encouraged to use your mobile phone. The second you connect your laptop to the internet, you are bombarded with free phone ring tones and free music downloads.

no guarantee of breaking even if their film is a flop.

Duncan Reid, head of investment at Ingenious Media – one of the largest financiers in the British film industry – has said that numerous influential investors would “definitely pull out” of the film industry. In the past, his company has raised money for films such as X-Men: The Last Stand and Garfield 2, but he says the new rules

will mean a “large shrinkage” in available funds, claiming that “the advantages of being able to write off losses against tax were really important for attracting investors. Film production activity in the UK will fall dramatically.”

Despite the dangers these new rules pose to British cinema, the UK Film Council has argued that the new rules are not aimed at the film industry but at cutting down on tax bill reductions.

A spokeswoman said: “This is not about film, it’s about tax avoidance.

It’s part of an ongoing crackdown by the government.” However, the effects of this new rule are beginning to show already.

The planned remake of the St Trinian’s film could even be scrapped because of the change, according to its financiers. The rule is thought to have the biggest effect on films whose backers have dropped out since it was introduced. Talking to the newspaper

Reel Britannia Samantha Shillabeer Media Reporter

S

ince its birth in the early 19th century, the British film industry has provided us with some of the world’s most acclaimed motion pictures.

Blockbusters such as Trainspotting and The Italian Job have won awards in abundance and regularly feature in top ten lists; they are a showcase for the success of the British film industry over the years. However, the recent introduction of new tax rules is going to have a huge and damaging effect on the British film industry.

Despite having gone through numerous booms and slumps, the current state of the industry seems to be going from strength to strength. In January, British films, including The Queen and The Last King of Scotland, racked up 16 Oscar nominations between them, contributing to one of the best ever years for the British film industry.

However, the incoming change to industry taxes could mark the end of this success and see the decline of British film. The government has effectively closed a loophole that allowed the rich to fund high-risk ventures and use any losses to reduce their tax bills. It is thought that this will scare off investors who will have

Slimming online Julie Curran Media Reporter

L

iving in a contemporary society where we are obsessed with self-image and weight means people may be reduced to desperate measures. With the increase in sales of dieting pills and the availability of them online, experts have warned the increased consumption of slimming pills could put lives at risk.

The United Nations drug control board says a growing number of women desperate to lose weight are

buying these drugs on the internet. The warnings come after the death of 21year-old anorexic Brazilian model Ana Carolina Reston. She is believed to have been taking slimming pills and painkillers.

Obesity is a huge issue in our society, as we have recently seen in the dramatic increase in media coverage of obese children and adults. Society puts a massive amount of pressure on celebrities and models to be thin, thus influencing adults and teenagers to be slim.

The important question is: do these pills even work and why are people

willing to put their lives at risk? In reality, most dieticians agree that any weight loss achieved is usually due to a change in lifestyle rather than the pills themselves.

Many diet pills provide very little information about their ingredients, how they supposedly work, for whom they are suitable or any other potential side effects. This lack of information poses a real health hazard, as certain ingredients in slimming pills may be unsuitable for people with medical conditions such as diabetes or high blood pressure – both of which are more common in people who are overweight or obese.

Many websites simply provide an online pharmacy, enabling customers to buy a range of diet pills, often at dis-

counted prices.

The main function of these sites, like any shop, is to make money. In contrast though, some websites are more subtle and are designed to look as though they could be part of a medical establishment.

The UN’s International Narcotics Control Board (INCB) calls for stricter enforcement of control measures and public education campaigns about the risks from the misuse of prescription drugs.

President of the INCB, Dr Philip Emafo, explained that appetite suppressant drugs, also known as anorectics, have a use in the treatment of lifethreatening obesity when prescribed.

“However, they are instead being used indiscriminately to feed the slimming

If we are unable to escape the myriad of portable technology reminders coming at us from all angles, is it at all surprising that obsessions are developing?

If you notice you are isolating yourself by choosing your MP3 player over your friends, or you fail to hand in a piece of coursework because you were up the night before researching on Facebook rather than in the library, you may well have developed an addiction and I think changes need to be made to your lifestyle. After all, technology obsession is not cool.

Screen Daily, Paul Brett of Prescience Film Finance revealed the extent of damage: “We’ve got funding that we won’t be able to use. A lot of UK films that were going to shoot over the next few weeks are going to fall apart.”

Unless something else is done to attract investors, the future looks bleak for the British film industry.

However, it has overcome similar financial problems in the past, suggesting that all is not lost.

In 2004 the government closed a related tax loophole, and it is thought that around 40 films were affected, including The Libertine - with Johnny Depp - which hurriedly found new cash to take its film shoot to the Isle of Man. Another film threatened by the changes, The Constant Gardener, went on to win an Oscar for actress Rachel Weisz.

So perhaps the future could hold some promise after all. And for the sake of British film, let’s hope so. obsession that affects some societies.”

The scale of the problem in the UK is unknown. Last year, a study found more than half of 1,230 UK women surveyed by Closerdiets.com admitted using slimming pills.

Professor Hamad Ghodse, former president of the INCB, said: “We need to know the size of the problem in the UK. We think probably there are adequate regulations in place, but there needs to be the implementation of these regulations.”

The question is: how desperate are people to lose weight? Are they willing to put their own lives at risk at the thought of being a few stone lighter? If so, it is a serious problem which needs to be dealt with.

gairrhydd 25

JOBS & MONEY

MARCH.19.2007 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

Take a bite out of university with a sandwich year

Gillian Roberts looks at how work placements can get students firmly on that ladder to employment

T

ake a break from lectures, coursework and exams for the year and follow the crowd in taking a sandwich year.

More and more students are opting for a year out in industry during their university courses to help them stand out from the crowd. Degree courses such as maths and psychology encourage and offer ways in which students can get onto work placements. The course of ‘City and Regional Planning’ requires students to take a year out in practice.

A work placement over the duration of a year provides an excellent opportunity to expand their skills and gives students a chance to find out what a real working environment is like. You may miss afternoon Neighbours, but contacts can be created for when you have graduated. You will then have contact details of an employer who knows you, giving you the chance to pester them for a permanent job.

The Career Service’s booklet which is available to download on the website

www.cardiff.ac.uk/carsv says that it is the best way to ‘test the water’, to assess career suitability and to possible gain sponsorship for the remainder of your course.

You may miss Neighbours but essential contacts may be created Some work placements also offer an income which is a nice change for students who often live dangerously off their student loans.

Employers can also benefit from taking on students for a sandwich year, as students bring the latest knowledge and technical expertise to the project on which they work. Students who are also interested in taking placements are generally motivated and enthusiastic

jobshop Please contact us on 029 2078 1535 or pop in to the Jobshop on the ground floor of the Students’ Union. Opening hours 10am-4pm Monday-Friday.

Care Support Worker

Cardiff £6.25 basic, £7.81 eves and w/ends Various hours Ongoing Carer respite service requires people community supervision of adults and children, personal care tasks, meal preparation. Must have your own car.

Food & Beverage Operatives

Cardiff Bay £5.50 Various casual hours 5* hotel is looking for motivated staff with some hospitality experience to assist with functions, serve in restaurants and provide a helpful service upon arrival.

Nursery Assistant

Cardiff £5.40 per hour Various part time hours available Private nursery for children aged 6 weeks - 5 years requires friendly staff with a natural love of working with children to assist in the nursery.

about entering that particular field and expanding their skills within the work placement. Employers are also on the lookout for students who are eager to impress and work hard for future job opportunities. They would much rather employ a graduate who they already knew was a good worker, and can fit back into the team or organisation quite easily.

Yet, not every student is able to undertake a work placement, as some positions are very competitive. It is advisable to undertake research on work placements in plenty of time and to consider it seriously. Preparation is the key, as if you are given an interview after applying it is the only chance you have to shine and get the valuable work placement.

Some students alternatively move abroad to partake in their work placement. This may be when students wish to expand their language skills or if it is required by their course, in particular if you are studying a joint degree with a language.

Aimhigher, which is a national programme by the Higher Education Funding Council for England (HEFCE), has said that it does not matter which route you take, but making the most of opportunities such as work placements demonstrates that you are highly motivated and shows commitment to employers.

Alternatively, if you don’t wish to take a whole year out of university, GoWales provide work tasters where you can experience a short work experience placement. It is advisable to go to the Careers Service to collect some information about work placements or to visit a careers advisor. You can book online at www.cardiff.ac.uk/carsv.

Useful Contacts Graduate Prospects www.prospects.ac.uk/ Work-experience.org www.work-experience.org Shell Technology and Enterprise Programme (STEP) www.step.org.uk Jobs.ac.uk www.jobs.ac.uk Year In Industry (YINI) www.yini.org.uk Graduate Opportunities Wales (Go Wales) www.gowales.co.uk

A degree of work Jobs & Money chats to Jennifer Green on her work placement experiences so far Degree Course: Mathematics Operational Research & Statistics Title of work placement: Statistician & Programmers in Hertfordshire.

How did you obtain your placement? The university provided me with a list of companies looking for students, I then applied, had an interview and managed to get the job.

Why did you decide to go on a work placement? It is mainly to gain experience in industry and make my degree more unique than others.

How did you prepare? The Careers Service provided literature of typical interview questions. I had to learn my subject area for a technical interview. I then researched into the company as to what they do, and thought of reasons why I would want to work there.

What do you feel are the benefits of having a year out at work? You gain experience of working within a team, and working with a wide range of people. It is also a good way to meet new people of all

different ages. Also, for learning what sort of jobs are out in the big wide world for someone with your degree.

Are there any negatives? It is a big step from university especially having to leave Cardiff and your friends, but it’s an opportunity to earn money, gain experience and meet new people.

Would you recommend completing a year work placement to others? Yes, most definitely as it is a fantastic way to gain on the job experience and to get a taste for what you might like to do after your degree. It has also allowed me to pick people’s brains about what masters course to do and where to do it Do you feel your experiences have equipped you for the world of work? Do you have any advice for students applying this year?

Yes, it has improved my social interactions with a range of people from diverse backgrounds. I would recommend it to students as it is a great year to earn money and have a break from studies. It buys you some time to make decisions on your future.

gairrhydd 27

TELEVISION

MARCH.19.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

This Week’s Kenans Among The Kels: March 19th-26th

Go Home TV Desk!

We put the screw in the tuna.

HOT

M a t e y Bubblebath: What’s not to like? It’s bubblebath, but in the shape of a sailor! It’s amazing, and according to an independent review we found on the internet, it only costs £1.99 from Superdrug and you can get upwards of 30 baths from it. Bargain!

Soaps Hiyarr! This week in Soaps ain’t as great as last week but hey, shit happens right? That’s why you’ve got Alan Sugar flexing dem rapid vibezzz on Celebrity Apprentice.

Woah Alan! Back to the topic in hand... In Eastenders, Honey is up the duff again, much to Billy’s deep brow furrowing, Stacey decides it would be well clever to start a fight with Tanya ‘cos she still wants Max in the Queen Vic toilets - classy laydee. In Corrie, Deirdre and her scary turkey neck deal with some sort of coronary failure as she realises her daughter maybe a murderer. Meh. Rosie in Neighbours turns from uber prude, to well, an uber schlaaag (by Ramsey Street terms anyway) when she decides for the sake of her fanny she’d like to date both Fraiser and Paul.

Carmella ditches fit Will, don’t ask me why, I’m still mourning. x

NOT

W

ho Loves orange soda?

Not I, that’s for sure. It makes your teeth sticky and tastes absolutely rank.

There is, however, one legendary protagonist whose love affair with the sugary bevearge is legendary. As I’m sure you’re aware by now, this towering colossus of humankind is the one, the only, Kel Einstein Hypothalmus Kimble. Paired with the hapless Kenan Rockmore, this modern day Laurel and Hardy lit up the screens of early evening Nickelodeon.

Yes dear readers, this week I have been consumed by that awful need to share my nostalgic musings with anybody who will listen, and this week I shall mainly be rambling about Nickelodeon. Kenan and Kel used to be a p e r s o n a l favourite, and ‘I put the screw

Fudge Tunnel Twelvety

in the tuna’, was a catchphrase among my circle of friends up until the ages of about 15/16. In fact, I’m going to bring it back. Another reason for loving Kenan and Kel, was the fact that it was ever so slightly ‘edgy’ and ‘urban’. Coolio was in the title sequence for God’s sake!

Kenan and Kel was all well and good for a time, but it has certainly been a point of contention, at least in my house, whether the show ‘jumped the shark’ when for no reason whatsoever, Kyra Rockmore just disappeared.

Ludicrous. What a completely unbelievable plotline.

If it is gritty realism that you’re after, then there is really only one choice, isn’t there? The story of two biological twins, WHO DID NOT KNOW THAT THEY WERE RELATED AND DIDN’T MEET UNTIL THEIR MID-TEENS. This is a thoroughly brilliant concept, and also

launched the careers of many a superstar. The lovely but somewhat challenged by the simple things in life (i.e food) Olsen Twins guest in an episode among other such luminaries as Christina Millian, Kenan & Kel and Flex Alexander. However, the single greatest thing to emerge from Sister Sister is Marques Houston.

Cast as the geeky neighbour Roger, Marques Houston grew out of this role and forged his own R’n’B career. THIS IS STILL NOT THE BEST BIT. Apparently, one night in a London hotel, following some minor success in having the dubious honour of having one of his songs on a McDonald’s ad, he went mental on PCP and gouged his own eye out. HE GOUGED HIS OWN EYE OUT. Roger! Off’ve Sister Sister! Going mental on industrial strength drugs and gouging his own eye out, claiming that it brought him ‘closer to God’. What happened to childhood innocence then, eh? I blame the government. This desk for one refuse to let it die. Laterz aligatorz. x

Bring Back...

Brookside!

It was gritty, full of scousers an purveyed the institution that is the ‘late night, X-rated, sexed up’ edition of popular soaps! My gosh, it really was so ahead of it’s time and genre. Phil Redmond deffo had some angst issues and I for one am culturally richer for it. I mean killing yer’ husband by pilling up his milk, wacking him over the head, to fatal consequences, and then burying him under the patio, whilst using your schoolgirl daughter as an accomplice! And if I remember correctly it was all executed on like 2 episodes: in Gayenders it takes someone 4 episodes to open a tin of beans for fucks sake! It also featured the first lesbian kiss on TV and many a school boy’s wet dream sealed, fanx Anna Friel!

Add to this that it was 1994, and the whole ‘screw the watershed’ ethic has to be admired (even if

Missing the Uni Hall Bus: It’s bad enough that we basically live outisde of Cardiff, but to rub metaphorical salt into the wound, the bus driver seems to wait just until I can see the bus to drive off down the road chuckling to himself. it’s neither big nor clever, Mr. Driverman. Not cool.

Film I'm estimating every time I see the word “film” for roughly the next week, I will want to swear profusely at somebody, thanks to the most tedious essay I have ever written on one of my now, exfavourite films. However, you guys should still watch Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels on FilmFour this week. Lots of violence, guns, drugs and Vinnie Jones. There's a reason why this bad boy makes it onto countless 'favourite film' lists. Not mine though.

Sport Cricket World Cup time! An excuse to endlessly play ‘Soul Limbo’ by Booker T & The MGs without people getting annoyed at me. It’s also wonderful to have Bumble back with his wonderfully confused tone, and references to the laydeez. In fact, it’s quite sunny today, I may go outside, listen to my radio, crack open a few tinnies of Red Stripe and hope that these pages write themselves.

TV Grapevine just by me). Speaking of downright controversy, can you say INCEST! Sharon and Dennis: simply a poor man’s (and Southerners) Nat and Georgia. Then you had the Corkhills. Quite possibly the most fucked up family EVER. A skag addict for a dad who then went on to get a teaching qualification from the Internet?! And Barry Grant, super villain extraordinaire!

Paul Robinson, the Mitchell Bruvvas, and Charlie from Coronation Street have nothing on our Bazza. So yes. I <3 Brookie and so did you until November 4, 2003. Whatever went wrong ey?

My sources have informed me that otherwise crap character Ben of worse-than-theMansons Mitchells is going to do away with Stella. When I say ‘sources’ I really mean my hours spent monging on popbitch. However, I trust it as I would trust a faithful steed, as it was popbitch who told me that Kate was a secret policewoman and that Derek Beckham was pissing of to the United States of Gay. However, they also tried to tell me that half the Irish backline are gay, so swings and roundabouts.

gairrhydd

29

TUESDAY

MARCH.20.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Car Booty

A Wild Irish Summer

Cops With Cameras

Celebrity Sex Tapes

Little Princess

BBC1 11:30am

BBC2 9:50am

ITV1 8:00am

E4 11.00pm

five 7:30am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Maya and Miguel 3:45pm The Likeaballs How fucking wank is it when you’re left with ‘Topics’ at the end of a box of Minature Heroes? TV Ben: ‘It’s just like someone has shat on your hand really?’

Personally I think the most like-able (haha, see what we did there?) chocolate in Minature Heroes are those mini Crunchie things. Wow. 4:00pm Whizz Whizz Bang Bang 4:30pm The Slammer 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Coming Home 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Holby City 9:00pm Life on Mars 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Week In, Week Out 11:05pm ONE Life 11:45pm Cricket World Cup Highlights 12:45am Cat People 2:45am Sign Zone:Seaside Rescue 3:45am Sign Zone:An Island Parish 4:15am Sign Zone:Dr Alice Roberts: Don't Die Young 4:45am Joins BBC News 24 5:00am Cricket World Cup Highlights

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:25am The Story Makers 6:35am Balamory 7:00am CBBC:Astro Boy 7:25am Newsround 7:30am Even Stevens 7:50am Batfink 8:00am The Cramp Twins 8:15am ChuckleVision 8:30am CBeebies:Tommy Zoom 8:40am Numberjacks 9:00am Nina and the Neurons 9:15am Lunar Jim 9:25am Me Too! 9:45am Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 10:00am In the Night Garden The magical goblins run wild, play with unicorns and jump over the stars...ahhh. 10:30am Wild about Nature 10:50am Primary Geography: Portrait of Europe 11:10am Star Trek: The Next Generation 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Coming to England 1:20pm Bobinogs 1:30pm Iolo's Special Reserves 2:00pm am.pm 3:00pm Lifeline 3:10pm Coast 3:15pm Sudo-Q 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm A Taste of My Life 7:00pm Are We There Yet? 7:30pm The Dragon's Tail 8:00pm The Underdog Show 9:00pm Horizon 9:50pm A Wild Irish Summer 10:00pm The Underdog Show Results 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Iraq Week: This World: Iraq: A Doctor's Story 12:00am Storyville: The Team 1:25am Malcolm in the Middle 2:00am Vocational Bitesize 4:00am Vocational Bitesize

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Daily Cooks 4:00pm Poirot 5:00pm Soapstar Superchef 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Some Like It Hot 8:00pm Cops with Cameras 9:00pm Half Ton Hospital: Tonight Special 10:00pm Marbella Belles 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Real Crime: The Almost Perfect Murder 12:00am ITV Play: Glitterball 3:40am Guitar Heroes Forever 4:35am The Jules and Lulu Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News Right, it’s nearly 9pmn and it’s just TV Marshall and TV Jazz in the office, so I’m blates just going to type lyrics. Let’s start with some Wolf Parade. I keep my head up tight/ I know my plans at night/ And I don't sleep I don't sleep I don't sleep 'til it's light/ Some folks float some are buried alive/ There is an awful sound/ This haunted town/ It will not it will not it will not just be quiet/ Some ghosts sink some will get called to the light/ I spend boring hours in the office tower/ In a bus on a bus back home to you and/ That's fine I'm barely alive/ It's just a matter of time/ No one gets out alive And i’m content, I'm content

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Freshly Squeezed 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Don't Make Me Angry 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Avalanche Express 2:00pm Room for Improvement 2:30pm My Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: City of Cranes - Solitary 8:00pm Selling Houses Abroad 9:00pm Ulrika...Am I A Sex Addict?

10:00pm Kidnapped 11:40pm I Speak Animal 12:10am PartyPoker.com Poker Nations Cup 1:10am World Cup Skiing 3:00am KOTV 3:25am Velux 5 Oceans 3:55am 3 Minute Wonder: Preparing for the Worst 4:00am Chez Mimi 4:15am When the Romans Came to Wales 4:30am All Change 4:50am The Number Crew 5:00am Animated World Faiths 5:15am Just Write 5:30am Puzzle Maths 5:45am More Adventures from the Writing House I’m content to be quiet/ Some will sink some will get called to the light/ You know our hearts beat time out very slowly/ You know our hearts beat time they're waiting for something that’ll

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am The Beeps 7:30am Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:35am Funky Valley 8:40am Titch 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm The Diet Doctors: Inside and Out 1:30pm Russell Grant's Postcards 1:40pm Moms on Strike 3:40pm Taming Andrew 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Everybody Hates Chris 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Singing Estate 8:00pm Pirate of the Caribbean: The True Story 9:00pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm CSI: Miami 11:00pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 12:00am The FBI Files 1:00am NBA Action 4:05am Motorsport Mundial 4:30am Race and Rally UK 4:55am V8 Supercars never arrive/ You know our hearts beat time out very slowly/ You know our hearts beat time they're waiting for something that'll never arrive/ I keep my head up tight/ I make my plans at night/ And I don't sleep I don't sleep I don't sleep 'til it's light/ Some folks float and some are buried alive/ With our little boots, we built another world/ Gonna chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain

7:00pm Honey We're Killing the Kids Revisited 7:30pm Help! My Dog's as Fat as Me 8:00pm Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 8:30pm The Real Hustle 9:00pm The Real Dirty Dancing 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Ideal 11:00pm Family Guy 11:25pm Family Guy 11:45pm Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 12:15am The Real Dirty Dancing 1:10am Ideal 1:40am The Real Hustle 2:10am Help! My Dog's as Fat as Me 2:40am Spendaholics Saved My Life ‘It’s like a party in my mouth and everyone’s getting cancer’ TV Ben re: Menthol fags. Considering TV Jazz hadn’t smoked since before Christmas and then did LAST FUCKING NIGHT I’m beginning to feel like a slight failure and the way I see it now, I’ve started again, so why on earth stop once more just to feel the heavy bosom of non-success weighing down on my form. Mine’s a pack of Drum tobacco and the Independent please.

Those were the days and looks like...

7:00pm The Car's the Star 7:20pm Rover: The Long Goodbye 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Never Mind the Full Stops 9:00pm The Day Today 9:30pm The League of Gentlemen 10:00pm Life on Mars 11:00pm The Lost World of Red Robbo 11:30pm Rover: The Long Goodbye 12:10am Never Mind the Full Stops 12:40am Are We Having Fun Yet? 1:40am Proms on Four 2006 3:35am The Lost World of Red Robbo they’re back. But of course we condem smoking. Also, an anonymous member bystander (not a TV editor) queries why there is a National Non-Smoking Day and not a National Smoking Day? Also, aforementioned member rejoiced when on his pack of Marlboro Menthols had the warning ‘Smoking when preganant harms your baby,’ exclaiming, “Ha! Joke’s on you, I have a willy:” So yeah, when we’ve finished this, we’re gonna smoke lots and lots and then...

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Yu-GiOh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:25pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:25pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Judge Judy 6:30pm American Idol 8:30pm American Idol 9:00pm WAGs Boutique 10:00pm Election 12:00am Daylight 2:10am ITV Play: Glitterball 4:00am Teleshopping maybe some more. Then talk to strangers, cross a road without looking, swallow our chewing gum...

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Lemar - Hurrah! 8:00am Monsters of New Music 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Who Is the New? 11:00am Fresh Albums 12:00pm Nothing but... Brand New Boys 1:00pm Lemar - Hurrah! 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm The OC 10:00pm Skins 11:00pm Celebrity Sex Tapes Unwound 12:05am Scrubs 12:35am Scrubs 1:00am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 1:50am Skins 2:50am Celebrity Sex Tapes Unwound 3:50am The War at Home 4:10am One Tree Hill 4:50am Switched and run with scissors. So who’s with us? Much love.

TV Desk. x

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Freshly Squeezed 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Muffin the Mule 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Peppa Pinc 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Sam Tan 1:15pm Supporting Acts 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:15pm Countdown 3:00pm Wedi 3 4:00pm Planed Plant:Joni Trons 4:25pm Planed Plant:Popty Bob Man 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:25pm Tipit 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Taro 9 9:00pm O'r Galon 9:40pm Cowbois ac Injans 10:40pm Selling Houses Abroad 11:40pm ER 12:40am Bodyshock 1:40am Boyz to Men 2:35am Mississippi Burning: The End Game

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

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MARCH.21.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Doctors

Party Animals

Along Came Polly

BBC1 2.05pm

BBC2 11.25pm

ITV1 9.00pm

6:00am Breakfast I like to put a bit of jam in my early morning porridge. Honey is good too. How great are these listings going to be? 9:15am Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder I diagnose that you were murdered. 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm Maya and Miguel 3:45pm The Likeaballs 4:00pm Whizz Whizz Bang Bang 4:30pm The Slammer 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Women on Fire 7:30pm My Family 8:00pm Watchdog 8:30pm Seaside Rescue 9:00pm Whistleblower 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Budget Statement by the Chancellor 10:40pm The National Lottery Draws 10:45pm High Hopes These listings?

11:15pm Scary Movie 3 12:30am Cricket World Cup Highlights 1:35am Sign Zone:The Madness of Modern Families 2:05am Sign Zone:A Very English Village 2:55am Sign Zone:Gene Detectives 3:40am Sign Zone:Gene Detectives 4:25am Joins BBC News 24 5:00am Cricket World Cup Highlights

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:25am The Story Makers 6:35am Balamory 7:00am CBBC:Astro Boy 7:25am Newsround 7:30am Even Stevens 7:50am Batfink 8:00am The Cramp Twins 8:15am ChuckleVision 8:30am CBeebies:Tommy Zoom 8:40am Numberjacks 9:00am Nina and the Neurons 9:15am Lunar Jim 9:25am Me Too! 9:45am Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 10:00am In the Night Garden 10:30am Star Trek: The Next Generation 11:15am The Flying Gardener 11:30am Budget Special 2:30pm World Skating Highlights 3:15pm Sudo-Q 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm A Taste of My Life Wake up.

Coffee. Shower. Porridge. MySpace.

Facebook. Lectures. Think about MySpace and Facebook (and maybe buttons and/ or Seth Cohen) Consider going to the library. Home. MySpace.

Facebook. Coffee. Neighbours.

MySpace. Facebook. Dinner. MySpace.

Facebook. MySpace. Facebook.

MySpace. Facebook. Sleep. Dream about MySpace. Facebook. 7:00pm Match of the Day Wales 9:20pm Dragons' Den 10:20pm Don't Watch That Watch This! Shipwrecked, Neighbours and Newsnight. Fact.

10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Budget Statement by the Chancellor 11:25pm Party Animals 12:15am Taken 1:40am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC

7:00pm Anthea Turner: The Perfect Housewife Fuck off Turner. Bovvard. Go eat a flake and sell your wedding pictures. 8:00pm Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 8:30pm Conning the Conmen 9:00pm Freaky Eaters: Addicted to Chicken Erm, aren’t there worse things to be addicted to? Such as Skag, Fiddy Cent records and prostitues? 10:00pm Ideal 10:30pm Spacehopper 11:00pm Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Freaky Eaters: Addicted to Chicken1:25am American Dad 1:45am American Dad 2:10am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:40am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Why does this programme exist?

Answer: so BBC3 can fill its schedule.

To corroborate this, it’s repeated several times in one day. Boo-yeah. Jazz 1 0 BBC3. 3:10am Ideal 3:40am Spacehopper

7:00pm Planet Earth 8:00pm The World 8:30pm All Mod Cons 9:00pm Racism: A History 10:00pm Hotel 10:30pm Tight Spot: Stuck 11:00pm Hotel 11:30pm Underground: Arena 12:30am Racism: A History 1:30am Proms on Four 2006 3:20am Racism: A History There is so much fricking space to fill. Hmmm. I’m going to tell you about the new TV Massive: we don’t watch TV. Instead; I think we’re making a mockery of these pages. It’s just in-joke after insults after expletives after crude and inappropriate comments, after waiting for pizza. Yeah!

And there is still a fair amount of space. On my walk over to t’office I decided to listen to some bangin’ choons. I listened to Wolf Parade. And I think you should too. Also I went to Clwb last night and it was fricking ACES. Yeah lots of fun. It was my friend Annie’s Burrfday.

Not the cash points though. Wank.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Don’t Make Me Angry C4 11.30am

A Nightmare Come True five 1.30pm

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Daily Cooks 4:00pm Poirot 5:00pm Soapstar Superchef What?! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, another sad, desperate, Soapstar Twatstar spin-off.

Why can’t twats like Mandy from Hollyoaks/Doctors, the posh one from Brookside and the guy that played Dylan in Home and Away give it a rest and just revel in their giro?

6:00pm Wales Tonight Sheep, Drizzle, the Sterephonics, Family Fish Bar, Drizzle, Tom Jones, Drizzle, Sheep, Drizzle, Clwb, Drizzle, Drizzle.

6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Bill: Sweet Revenge 9:00pm Along Came Polly Enjoy the picture boys (or girls, if that’s your persuasion, actaully, scrap that: i’m a hetrosexual female and i’d for one like to exclaim: witness the fitness!)

10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Along Came Polly 11:20pm Harry Hill's TV Burp Along with Al Murray I’d like these to be spiked in the eyeball several times everytime they even attempt to make a ‘joke.’ Pretty please? 11:50pm Steven Seagal's Orange Playlist 12:15am ITV Play: Glitterball 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me Said Jade Goody. I wish.

8:55am Frasier 9:30am My Crazy Life 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates Get them all together and let them know how you’re better than them and how you’d wish they’d stop playing Kooks records.

Failing that, bring in a ‘yo mum’ insult or 7 and you’ll never see them again.

11:30am Don't Make Me Angry 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Seaside Secrets 12:45pm The Undefeated 2:55pm Room for Improvement 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: City of Cranes 8:00pm Relocation, Relocation 9:00pm Grand Designs 10:00pm Desperate Housewives My housemate Lynso loves this programme. Really she does. Earlier, I asked her to fill me in (r.i.p the musical career of C. David) and she did! Yeah!

And then we went on to discuss who is more attractive: Tom or Mike?

Thoughts? 11:05pm Gordon Ramsay's F Word 12:05am My Name Is Earl 12:35am The War at Home 1:00am The War at Home 1:30am The Osbournes 2:00am The Osbournes

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am The Beeps 7:30am Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy No, bugger off. 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Thomas; Friends 8:35am Funky Valley On our ‘Bring back section’ we’ll soon talk about Sweet Valley High, which could be referred to a ‘Funky Valley’ if you will, 8:40am Titch 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm The Diet Doctors Inside and Out 1:30pm A Nightmare Come True 3:30pm Columbo: Columbo Cries Wolf 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Everybody Hates Chris 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Lemur Island 8:00pm Child in a Million I know it’s not right to speak about these things in a disrespectful manner but who watches programmes about a small Serbian blind boy undergoing a cornea transplant? (shout out Optom readerzz!) Not me that’s fo’sho. In the grand scale of ‘harrowing documentaries’ I’d rather watch one about how fat people get so fat (excessive and incessant eating?)

That or be on Facebook or MySpace.

9:00pm Solo 10:55pm Disorderly Conduct 11:55pm PartyPoker.com European Open III 1:25am NHL Ice Hockey 3:50am Boxing Classic 4:30am NHRA Drag Racing Sometimes, I think

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Yu-GiOh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:25pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Smallville 8:00pm New Homes from Hell 9:00pm Daylight 11:10pm Coronation Street 11:40pm Species 3 1:50am Comedy Cuts 2:15am ITV Play: Glitterball 4:00am Teleshopping

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Hilary Swank Talkin' Frank 8:00am Monsters of New Music 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Who Is the New? 11:00am Fresh Stuff 12:00pm Nothing but... New Kids in Pop 1:00pm Hilary Swank Talkin' Frank 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Ugly Betty 10:00pm Miss Match 11:00pm Desperate Housewives 12:00am Scrubs 12:30am Scrubs 12:55am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 1:50am One Tree Hill 2:35am Miss Match 3:15am The War at Home 3:35am Desperate Housewives 4:20am Switched 4:40am Switched 5:05am Switched 5:25am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me 8:55am 3 Minute Wonder: Heavy Petting 9:00am Don't Make Me Angry 9:30am My Crazy Life 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Bobinogi 11:45am Bobinogi 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Muffin the Mule 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Bobinogi 12:55pm Planed Plant Bach:Gel a FFion 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Falmai y Fuwch 1:15pm Designers Under Pressure 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:15pm Countdown 3:00pm Wedi 3 4:00pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Tair Slic 4:25pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Stwffio 4:50pm Planed Plant (4.00-5.00):Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Byd o

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

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THURSDAY

MARCH.22.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Don’t Make Me Angry CS4C 9.00am

Boys on the Side

Freaky Eaters

Smallville

E4 11.00pm

BBC3 12.00am

E4 3.30pm

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Maya and Miguel 3:45pm The Likeaballs 4:00pm Whizz Whizz Bang Bang 4:30pm The Slammer 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Women on Fire 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm EastEnders 9:00pm Hotel Babylon 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Budget Response by the Conservative Party 10:40pm Dragon's Eye 11:10pm Question Time 12:10am This Week 12:55am Cricket World Cup Highlights 2:00am Sign Zone:Blair: The Inside Story 3:00am Sign Zone:When Love Comes to Town 3:30am Sign Zone:Sleep Clinic 4:00am Sign Zone:Gene Detectives Why are deaf people subjected to such shit television? I mean, if I had to wait up until 3am to watch something with sign language, I’d want something decent, like The A-Team or Spaced, not bleeding Sleep Clinic... 4:45am News 24 5:00am Cricket World Cup 2007

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:25am The Story Makers 6:35am Balamory 7:00am CBBC:Astro Boy 7:25am Newsround 7:30am Even Stevens 7:50am Batfink 8:00am The Cramp Twins 8:15am ChuckleVision 8:30am CBeebies:Tommy Zoom 8:40am Numberjacks 9:00am Nina and the Neurons 9:15am Lunar Jim 9:25am Me Too! 9:45am Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 10:00am In the Night Garden 10:30am Schools:Look and Read 10:50am Primary Geography: Using the Land 11:10am English Express 11:40am Seasonal Snapshots 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Family Xchange 1:45pm Animal Park 2:15pm World Skating Highlights 3:15pm Sudo-Q 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm A Taste of My Life 7:00pm Wales and Slavery - The Untold Story 7:30pm Border Country with Iolo Williams 8:00pm Hairy Bikers Ride Again 8:30pm It's Not Easy Being Green 9:00pm Fear, Stress and Anger 9:30pm Dead Ringers 10:00pm The Graham Norton Show 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Budget Response by the Conservative Party 11:25pm The Trial of Saddam Hussein 12:15am Taken 1:40am Monkey Business 1:50am The Witness 2:00am Vocational Bitesize

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Daily Cooks 4:00pm Poirot 5:00pm Soapstar Superchef Who’d win in a fight, right, between Tomato Ketchup, Brown Sauce, Mustard and Mayonnaise? I know, its a toughie, and there are a lot of factors to consider.

First of all, let’s establish some ground rules: this is an all out brawl, ladies and gentleman - no one-on-one action, just winner takes all. And brand-name condiments only - we’re dealing with the big leagues here - that is, Heinz Ketchup, HP Sauce, Coleman’s mustard and Hellmann’s mayo. In my book, neither the ketchup or the mayonnaise stands a chance. Too bland, too predictable, not enough balls, you know?

For me, it’s mustard every time.

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:55pm Budget Response by the Shadow Chancellor 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Great Welsh Roads 8:00pm The Bill: Killer on the Run 9:00pm Taggart 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Hidden Loves 11:30pm Waterfront 12:00am Unsigned 12:30am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am Make Me Perfect 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

6:00am Grabbit the Rabbit 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me 8:55am Frasier 9:30am My Crazy Life 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Don't Make Me Angry 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Captain Scarlett 1:55pm Room for Improvement 2:25pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: City of Cranes 8:00pm Chaos at the Chateau 9:00pm The Yellow House 10:30pm The Business 12:15am 4Music Presents: Good Charlotte 12:50amO2 Wireless Festival 1:50am Checking Out 3:25am Animal Farm My housemate offered me some helpful advice as I left the house this evening. He said: ‘if you see the animals,make sure you don’t just run away, right - you have to distract them first. They’re too powerful, man. Throw something at them, like your shoe.

That might slow you down, so throw both - so you can run evenly. Or a brick.

Get them on the nose. Yeah. That’d be sweet, fucking golden mate. If you hit them on the nose, you might as well have a go.Thanks, Jim. 4:25am Dispatches 5:20am 3 Minute Wonder: War Torn 5:25am Countdown

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am The Beeps 7:30am Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Thomas &#38; Friends 8:40am Titch 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard I don’t think I got enough time to really flesh out all the angles of the condiment Battle Royale from before. I mean, what would happen if Ketchup and Mayo, aware of their weaker abilities, teamed up? HP and Coleman’s would be going at it, bashing each other about, bits of brown and yellow flying everywhere, getting in people’s eyes and then, from nowhere, here comes this new super sauce. What then?! HP11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm The Diet Doctors Inside and Out 1:30pm Russell Grant's Postcards 1:40pm The Jayhawkers! 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Target Unknown 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Everybody Hates Chris 7:00pm five news 7:15pm How Not to Decorate 8:00pm Ann Maurice:Interior Rivalry 2 9:00pm House 10:00pm Shark 11:00pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12:00am Football Night 1:00am French Football - Le Championnat 1:50am Dutch Football 3:25am Football Argentina 5:10am Football

7:00pm Anthea Turner: The Perfect Housewife 8:00pm Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 8:30pm Rush Hour 9:00pm Freaky Eaters: Addicted to Junk Food 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm The Real Hustle 11:00pm Conning the Conmen 11:30pm Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 12:00am Freaky Eaters: Addicted to Junk Food I know a man with very strange eating habits indeed. For example, he will only eat fruit and vegetables that are raw and at room temperature: he won’t touch anything that has been cooked or frozen. He loves sushi.

12:55am Emergency Measures 1:25am The Real Hustle 1:55am Spendaholics Saved My Life 2:50am The Real Dirty Dancing ATTENTION RAVERS! RE-USE YOUR GLOW STICKS!!

SAVE £££! Put your old and lightless glow sticks in the freezer after you’ve finished with them. Once frozen, resnap them and Robert’s-your-cousin’sdad: fresh flourescent goodness.

7:00pm Sounds of the Sixties 7:10pm The Avengers 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Waiting Room 9:00pm Crossing the Line 10:30pm Abduction: Storyville 11:50pm Tight Spot: Stuck Back by popular demand: Things That You Really Shouldn’t Put Forward As Interesting Pub Conversation! (Or something like that, I can’t exactly remember what I called it last time). When I say ‘popular demand’, that’s not strictly true, it’s more like I forgot to put this one thing in the last time and I’m harking back to an old joke because its late and I want to fill space. Anyway, one thing that You Really Shouldn’t Put Forward As Interesting Pub Conversation: What exactly it is that the ‘Power Ball’ does in dishwasher tables. Fascinating. i think i built it up too much. Maybe. Possibly. Yes. 12:20am The Waiting Room 12:50am Crossing the Line 2:20am Proms on Four 2006

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Yu-GiOh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:20am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show ‘BUT DEY TUK URR JERRRBS!!’ 2:35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:20pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:25pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Smallville 8:00pm WAGs Boutique 9:00pm Passenger 57 10:40pm Supernatural 11:40pm Comedy Cuts 12:10am Out of Sight 2:20am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:00am Teleshopping

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Julian McMahon and On and On 8:00am Monsters of New Music 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Who Is the New? 11:00am Fresh Gigs 12:00pm Nothing but... Return of the Mac (Daddies) 1:00pm Julian McMahon and On and On 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends Hey, does anyone know anything about Jack Kerouac? I have to do a presentation on him in a couple of weeks. Send anything juicy to tv@gairrhydd.com. Cheers. 6:00pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 9:00pm ER 10:00pm Skins 11:00pm Boys on the Side 1:10am Scrubs 2:05am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 2:45am Skins 3:45am The War at Home 4:05am One Tree Hill 4:45am Switched 5:10am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:55am 3 Minute Wonder: Heavy Petting 9:00am Don't Make Me Angry 9:30am My Crazy Life 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Campyfan 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach 1:15pm Supporting Acts 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:15pm Countdown 3:00pm Wedi 3 4:00pm Planed Plant 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Stwffio 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:25pm Ymateb i'r Gyllideb: y Ceidwadwyr 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Pawb a'i Farn 9:30pm Gwragedd Rygbi 10:30pm Bandit 11:00pm Budget Response 11:05pm Grand Designs 12:10am The Sopranos 1:15am Ulrika...Am I A Sex Addict? 2:15am PartyPoker.com Poker Nations Cup 3:10am Jakob the Liar

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Room For Improvement C4 1.55pm

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff,CF24 4NN

02920 229977

32 gairrhydd

FRIDAY

MARCH.23.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

The Diet Doctors Inside and Out five 12.30pm

Whizz Whizz Bang Bang BBC1 4.00pm

The Story of Tracy Beaker BC2 7.30am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am My Life for Sale 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Maya and Miguel 3:45pm Bernard 4:00pm Whizz Whizz Bang Bang 4:30pm Underdogs 5:00pm Gina's Laughing Gear 5:30pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 6:55pm Budget Response by Plaid Cymru 7:00pm A Question of Sport 7:30pm Nurses on the Run: The Real Story 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm A Class Apart 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Budget Response by the Liberal Democrats 10:40pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 11:40pm Cricket World Cup Highlights 12:40am In Dreams 2:20am Joins BBC News 24 5:00am Cricket World Cup Highlights Lots of TV on BBC 1 today, which is a pleasant suprise for me, as I’m on my own, because of bastard JOMEC giving 3/5 of our team an urgent essay, thus lumping me with a shitload of TV Deskery. Ergh.

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:25am The Story Makers 6:35am Balamory 7:00am CBBC:Astro Boy 7:25am Newsround 7:30am The Story of Tracy Beaker 7:45am Underdogs 8:15am ChuckleVision 8:30am CBeebies:Tommy Zoom 8:40am Numberjacks 9:00am Nina and the Neurons 9:15am Lunar Jim 9:25am Me Too! 9:45am Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies 10:00am In the Night Garden 10:30am Schools:Nile Shorts: The Gift of the Nile 10:45am Nile Shorts: Journey down the Nile 11:00am Starship 11:20am The Chat Room 11:40am See You, See Me 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:30pm Animal Park 2:15pm World Skating Highlights 3:15pm Sudo-Q A TV show about Sudokus? Yes! Finally my Delorean time machine works. It’s 2005 all over again! 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm A Taste of My Life 7:00pm Scrum V Live 9:00pm Simon Schama: Rough Crossings 10:30pm Newsnight 11:05pm Newsnight Review Not as good as the first album, and seems a little self-indulgent. 3/10 11:35pm Budget Response by the Liberal Democrats 11:40pm Confessions of a Dangerous Mind 1:25am Taken 2:50am Star Trek 3:40am Star Trek Angelina Jolie’s new son is called Pax.

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Daily Cooks 4:00pm Poirot 5:00pm Soapstar Superchef Soap and food does not mix.

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 6:55pm Budget Response by the Liberal Democrats 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Tonight with Trevor McDonald 8:30pm A Touch of Frost 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm WAGs Boutique 12:00am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am 60 Minute Makeover 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News This week has been plagued by a series of heated, yet fundamentally ludicrous arguments bewtixt our usually watertight TV Desk. On a recent jaunt to Bristol accompanied by TV Fran, a furious debate raged about whether you go over or under the water to get from Cardiff to Bristol and vice versa. I insisted that it would make more sense to go over the body of water whereas Fran believed that under was the more reasonable suggestion.

The debate became so fierce that we had to enlist the help of the friendly ticket attendant who revealed that it was in fact Fran who was correct...

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me 8:55am Frasier 9:30am My Crazy Life 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Don't Make Me Angry 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm The Hunters 2:25pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:30pm The Insider 8:00pm Let's Talk Sex 9:00pm Ugly Betty 10:00pm The Charlotte Church Show 10:50pm Balls of Steel 11:40pm 4 Music:Transmission With T-Mobile 12:45am 4 Music:JD Set Presents: The Good Shoes 1:05am Goalissimo! 2:05am World Cup Snowboard 4:00am Freesports on 4 4:25am Trans World Sport 5:20am Supporting Acts 5:25am Countdown ...however, it was somewhat of a Pyrrhic victory, as all it showed was that Fran is a big fat trainspotter who wears M&S cagoules and is the girlfriend of the ticket attendant. Ha! Plus I won on the most important debate of the evening, what was the name of the genius behind LCD Soundsystem. Fran insisted that he was called Paul Murphy, which is categorically wrong, whereas I knew that it was clearly James Murphy. Score! I AM ACE! xxx

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 6:25am Old Bear Stories 6:35am Bird Bath 6:45am Hi-5 7:20am The Beeps 7:30am Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots 8:15am Peppa Pig 8:20am Thomas &; Friends 8:35am Funky Valley 8:40am Titch 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm The Diet Doctors Inside and Out 1:30pm Harvey 3:30pm The Last Casino 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Everybody Hates Chris 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Mean Machines The meanest machine of all, is clearly those horrific vending machines which allow your packet of Monster Munch to get stuck on the spirally bits of metal. This leaves you in somewhat of a quandary.

Do you insert another 50p and end up with two packets and look like a greedy pig? Do you leave it and go away, 50p lighter and still hungry? Or do you go bare raggo at the stupid thing, and shake, kick and abuse it until your snack flutters gently into the recepticle at the bottom of the machine? You Decide!

8:00pm Killer Bee Attack 9:00pm NCIS 10:00pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:00pm Act Your Age: Celebrities Going to Seed 12:00am Prison Break

7:00pm Doctor Who Confidential 7:30pm Doctor Who 8:15pm Doctor Who 9:00pm TV Gaffes Galore 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:00pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 11:30pm Two Pints of Lager Outtakes 11:40pm Jonathan Ross's Japanorama 12:10am Ideal Ideally, there would be more than one person manning the TV Desk this week. The good ship TV Desk is a tightly run organisation and needs the full cooperation of all the crew. So damn you, JOMEC, DAMN YOU! 12:40am Family Guy 1:00am Family Guy 1:25am TV Gaffes Galore 2:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2:50am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:20am Freaky Eaters: Addicted to Chicken JOMEC is evil and is stealing all of the TV Desk’s spare time with their confusing talk of essays and semiotics. This hurts my brain as I do English and I like reading.

7:00pm 4 Better 4 Worse: The Anatomy of a String Quartet 8:00pm The World 8:30pm The Beat Room 9:00pm Originals: Long John Baldry 9:50pm Rock Family Trees 10:40pm John Mayall: 40 Years of the Blues 11:40pm The Avengers 12:30am Never Mind the Full Stops 1:00am Originals: Long John Baldry 1:50am John Mayall: 40 Years of the Blues 2:50am 4 Better 4 Worse: The Anatomy of a String Quartet 3:50am Never Mind the Full Stops I study English Literature, but I must say I absolutely loathe these smug individuals who feel the need to verbally masturbate themselves by chuckling to themselves every time they see a misplaced apostrophe. ‘Oh, har har, does that 12p belong to the tangerine then?

No, then why is that apostrophe there then? Har Har!’ I hate you.

You wouldn’t criticise Picasso because his pictures don’t look...

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Yu-GiOh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:10am Judge Judy 12:30pm Coronation Street 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:20pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:25pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 7:00pm Smallville 8:00pm ITV at the Movies 8:30pm American Idol 10:30pm American Idol 11:00pm Coronation Street 11:30pm Test Drive My Girlfriend 12:00am Out of Sight 2:15am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:00am Teleshopping

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Danny Dyer and Sean Bean 8:00am Monsters of New Music 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Who Is the New? 11:00am Fresh Films 12:00pm Nothing but ... Virgin Videos 1:00pm Danny Dyer and Sean Bean 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm My Name Is Earl 9:30pm Peep Show 10:00pm Kidnapped 11:45pm Scrubs 12:15am Scrubs 12:40am The War at Home 1:10am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 2:00am Kidnapped 3:30am Desperate Housewives 4:15am One Tree Hill 4:55am Switched 5:20am Switched ...so why do you feel the need to pick me up on the slightest thing?

Just fuck off. xxx

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me 8:55am 3 Minute Wonder: Heavy Petting 9:00am Ysgolion (Schools) (9.3012.00):Don't Make Me Angry 9:30am My Crazy Life 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Don't Make Me Angry 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Muffin the Mule 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Penblwydd Pwy 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Pentre Bach 1:15pm Supporting Acts 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:15pm Countdown 3:00pm Wedi 3 4:00pm Planed Plant:Bywyd Cudd Sabrina 4:25pm Planed Plant:Teledu Eddie 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 5:55pm Budget Response by Plaid Cymru 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Uned 5 7:25pm Ymateb i'r Gyllideb: Plaid Cymru - The Party of Wales 7:30pm

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

Loose Women

Just Shoot Me

ITV1 12.30pm

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SATURDAY

MARCH.24.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Casualty

33

Hider In the House

Sister Act

A Place In The Sun

ITV1 3.00pm

Channel 4 4.05pm

BBC1 8.35pm

BBC2 9.30am

6:00am Breakfast 10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am A Taste of My Life 12:00pm BBC News; Weather 12:10pm Football Focus 1:00pm International Boxing 2:15pm Rugby 4:40pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 5:00pm All New Just for Laughs 5:30pm Weakest Link: Goodies and Baddies Clutching at straws now are we? Well why don’t you just disappear up your own plasticsurgeryed arse you hateful ginger witch?

6:20pm Toy Story Toy Story is one of my all time favourite films ever in the world ever. Although I do hate Randy Newman with a zeal which even I’m suprised by.

7:35pm The National Lottery People's Quiz 8:35pm Casualty 9:25pm A Question of Sport: Uncensored 10:00pm BBC News; Weather 10:20pm Match of the Day 11:30pm Cricket World Cup Highlights 12:30am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 2:30am A Game for Vultures I would love to watch Vulture Golf. I don’t know why it would be good, but I’ve got a good feeling about it. OH NO WAIT! Vulture Darts would be amazing. Fat men with mullets throwing Vultures at a dartboard would be fantastic. Actually instead of a dartboard, there should be a big old pile of carrion so that there would be some incentive. I haven’t quite figured out all the kinks yet.

4:20am Joins BBC News 24 5:00am

6:00am CBeebies:Balamory 6:20am Tweenies 6:40am Big Cook Little Cook 7:00am CBBC:Roar 7:55am Arthur 8:10am Lizzie McGuire 8:30am The Story of Tracy Beaker 9:00am Hider In The House 10:00am The Story of Tracy Beaker 10:30am Time Warp Trio 10:50am Secret Show 11:00am Krypto the Superdog 11:30am Fairly Odd Parents 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm See Hear See Hear What? 12:45pm Coast 12:55pm Animal Park 1:55pm Conference Live 3:55pm The Flying Gardener 4:10pm Meerkat Manor 4:35pm Wales on Saturday 5:00pm Anglo Welsh Rugby Union 7:10pm The Culture Show 8:00pm Gardeners' World 8:30pm Jeremy Clarkson: Greatest Raid of All Time 9:30pm Chocolat 11:20pm Heaven 12:50am Never Mind the Buzzcocks 2:20am Grumpy Old Men Aren’t young people rubbish. New stuff isn’t as good as old stuff. I wish it was the Olden Days all over again.

Repeat ad tedium et ad nauseam et ad infinitum 2:50am The Culture Show This week, TV Marshall says vote in the student elections and go see Quench’s Local Mixtape. Who knows you may even bump into me there and wouldn’t that be exciting? You can tell me all about yourself and I will listen and brush your hair possibly. Also, I will write about the first person to buy me a cider & black at the gig on Sunday.

The race is on people, Who will win?

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Engie Benjy 6:20am Pocoyo 6:35am Dora the Explorer 6:55am Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 7:25am Lilo and Stitch 7:50am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:10am Avatar 8:35am Kim Possible 9:10am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:25am CITV:Horrid Henry 9:35am CITV:Bel's Boys 9:50am CITV:Tricky Quickies 9:55am CITV:Art Attack 10:20am CITV:Drake and Josh 10:50am Coastal Kitchen 11:20am Saturday Cooks 12:50pm ITV News; Weather 12:55pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:00pm American Idol 3:00pm Sister Act 4:40pm ITV Wales News and Weather 4:55pm ITV News; Sports Results; Weather 5:10pm The Best of You've Been Framed! A baby looks suprised, a grandma falls over and a drunk man at a wedding falls through a table. So no need to watch this now.

6:10pm Harry Hill's TV Burp 6:40pm Dancing on Ice - Champion of Champions 7:55pm Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

8:55pm Dancing on Ice - The Champions Skate Off 9:25pm The Dame Edna Treatment 10:25pm ITV News; Weather 10:40pm The Witches of Eastwick 12:50am ITV Play: Make your play in a world where even Blue Peter will rip you off, ITV is not a safe bet. 2:50am Don't Move, Improve 3:20am Don't Move, Improve 4:00am ITV Nightscreen

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Goalissimo! 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am T4:Friends 9:25am T4:Musicool 10:25am T4:Popworld 11:15am T4:Amy Winehouse: Video Exclusive 11:20am T4:High School Dance 12:25pm T4:Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 12:55pm T4:Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Lingfield Park and Newbury 4:05pm A Place in the Sun would be hot 5:10pm Deal or No Deal Classic 5:55pm Monarchy with David Starkey 6:55pm Channel 4 News 7:25pm Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 8:25pm Bremner, Bird and Fortune 9:25pm The Shawshank Redemption 12:05am 15 Minutes Whoa wait a minute, this makes no sense whatsoever. A program titled 15 minutes seemingly lasts 3 hours 10 minutes. Maybe this TV show is under the same timewarping influence that affects me every time the bloody Tennis is on. At least you can get lashed at the Cricket, all you can do at Tennis is look bored and try not to look a complete perv when you watch3:15am Amy Winehouse: Video Exclusive 3:20am The True Voice of Murder 4:20am Monsters are scary 4:35am The House of Memory 4:40am Out of the Clouds comes rain.

I learnt this when I did some science once. Apparently rain is angel’s tears or something. So everytime you complain about the rain, remember an angel had to think of something really sad...

...like a kitten with 3 legs or a puppy in a sling. Any you have the fucking audacity to complain because your ugly topshop faux-weathered leather jacket has got wet? Well fuck you then, you fucking angel hater. You people make me sick. SICK I tell you.

6:00am Sunrise 6:55am Franklin 7:25am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 7:35am Little Princess 7:45am Make Way for Noddy 8:00am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:15am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8:30am Rupert Bear 8:40am Rupert Bear 8:55am Jane and the Dragon 9:25am Don't Blame the Koalas 9:55am No Girls Allowed 11:00am Xcalibur 11:35am The Gadget Show 12:30pm Built for the Kill 1:00pm The Grass Harp 2:55pm Something to Talk About 4:50pm The Train Robbers Is this about robbing an actual train, or the stuff on it? Either way, I’d stick to post offices, which are easier, anyway. TV Jazz just raised an interesting point.

Where exactly would you go to sell on your train? Good luck carting a whole chuffing train to Cash Converters, pillock!

6:30pm Biloxi Blues 8:15pm five news and sport 8:30pm NCIS 9:25pm CSI:NY 10:25pm Law and Order 11:25pm Grey's Anatomy 12:25am Grey's Anatomy 2:20am The Dead Zone 3:00am The Dead Zone 3:45am Alias 4:25am Alias

7:00pm Emergency Measures 7:30pm Top Gear 8:25pm TV Gaffes Galore 9:25pm The Most Annoying Pop Songs...We Hate to Love 11:55pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:55am Ideal 2:25am The Real Hustle 2:55am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 3:25am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps When I'm lying in my bed at nite/I don't wanna grow up Nothing ever seems to turn out right/I don't wanna grow up/How do you move in a world of fog that's/Always changing things/Makes me wish that I could be a dog/When I see the price that you pay /I don't wanna grow up/I don't ever want to be that way/I don't wanna grow up/Seems that folks turn into things/That they never want /The only thing to live for is today.../I'm gonna put a hole in my T.V. set/I don't wanna grow up/Open up the medicine chest/ I don't wanna grow up

7:00pm Wainwright's Walks 7:30pm All Mod Cons 8:00pm Underground: Arena 8:55pm Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 9:25pm First Rites - From the Cradle to the Prom: Timeshift 10:25pm The Inheritance 12:15am Wainwright's Walks 12:45am First Rites - From the Cradle to the Prom: Timeshift 2:45am Underground: Arena 3:45am First Rites - From the Cradle to the Prom: Timeshift I don't wanna have to shout it out/I don't want my hair to fall out/I don't wanna be filled with doubt/I don't wanna be a good boy scout/I don't wanna have to learn to count/I don't wanna have the biggest amount/I don't wanna grow up/Well when I see my parents fight/I don't wanna grow up/They all go out and drinkin' all night/I don't wanna grow up/I'd rather stay here in my room/Nothin' out there but sad and gloom/I don't wanna live in a big old tomb on grand...

6:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:20am MacDonald's Farm 8:25am Bag People 8:30am Bug Alert! 8:45am The Wheels on the Bus 8:50am Teleshopping 9:25am Emmerdale Omnibus 12:10pm Coronation Street Omnibus 2:30pm Holiday Showdown 3:30pm Australian Princess 4:30pm ITV at the Movies 4:55pm Smallville 5:55pm Smallville 6:55pm Australian Princess 7:55pm Dancing On Ice: Defrosted 8:55pm Harry Hill's TV Burp 9:25pm Dancing On Ice: Defrosted 9:55pm Apollo 13 12:35am Dancing on Ice - Champion of Champions 2:50am Dancing on Ice - The Champions Skate Off 3:20am Movies Now 3:35am Emmerdale Omnibus ...street/When I see the 5 o'clock news/I don't wanna grow up/Comb their hair and shine their shoes/I don't wanna grow up

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 8:00am E4 Music's A List 9:00am Our Showbiz Mates 10:00am McFly's Boys With Guitars 2:00pm 4Music Presents... 2:30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm The Simple Life: Interns 6:30pm Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 7:00pm Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches 12:00am Transmission With T-Mobile 2:05am The Simple Life: Interns 2:30am Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 3:00am Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 4:00am My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss We're a happy family/We're a happy family We're a happy family/Me mom and daddy/Sitting here in queens Eating refried beans/We're in all magazines/Gulpin' down thorazines/

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Goalissimo! 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am Postmodern Pastimes 9:10am Friends 9:40am Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 10:10am Cynhadledd Plaid The Party of Wales 12:10pm The OC 1:05pm Beauty and the Geek 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing from Lingfield Park and Newbury 4:05pm Deal or No Deal 4:50pm Newyddion 5:00pm Y Clwb Rygbi 7:10pm Y Clwb Pel-Droed 7:45pm Newyddion a Chwaraeon 8:00pm Noson Lawen 9:00pm O'r Galon 9:35pm Codi Canu 10:05pm CNEX 10:20pm The Shawshank Redemption 12:55am Bremner, Bird and Fortune 2:55am Transmission With T-Mobile 3:55am Let the Music Play: The Barry White Story 4:50am KOTV We ain't got no friends/Our troubles never end/No christmas cards to send/Daddy likes men/Daddy's telling lies/Baby's eating flies/Mommy's on pills

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

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SUNDAY

MARCH.25.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

My Girl 2

Sherlock Holmes

Meerkat Manor

BBC1 6.45pm

BBC2 7.20pm

Spongebob Squarepamts Beauty and the Geek Channel 4 2.55pm ITV1 9.30pm

7:00am Breakfast 8:35am Match of the Day 10:00am Sunday AM 11:00am Heaven and Earth with Gloria Hunniford 12:00pm Countryfile Sunday morning TV on BBC1 is apparently shit unless you’re religious or like early morning repeated football highlights and the countryside. Or Gloria Hunniford. And in all honesty, I bet your nan doesn’t even like that bitch.

1:00pm The Politics Show 2:00pm To Be Announced 2:30pm EastEnders 4:45pm To Be Announced 5:35pm Star Portraits 6:05pm Songs of Praise 6:45pm Sherlock Holmes and the Baker Street Irregulars Originally titled Sherlock Holmes and the Baker Street Spastics.

7:45pm Antiques Roadshow 8:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 9:00pm To Be Announced 10:00pm Castaway 11:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 11:15pm Extras 11:45pm 3lbs; the combined weight of Nicole Richie and Victoria Beckham. 12:30am Cricket World Cup Highlights 12:30am Film To Be Announced 3:05am Joins BBC News 24 4:00am To Be Announced 4:25am To Be Announced 6:00am Cricket World Cup Highlights I don’t want to betray TV, but look! Look outside! It’s sunny! Quick! Grab your sunglasses/bikinis/union jack shorts/sun tan lotion/arm bands/etc and get the fucking fuck outside you lazy wankers!

7:00am CBeebies:Balamory 7:20am Tweenies 7:40am Big Cook Little Cook 8:00am CBBC:Batfink 8:10am The Batman 8:30am Smile 11:00am Something for the Weekend 12:30pm To Be Announced 1:30pm Moto GP 3:00pm World Cross Country 4:00pm Skating 5:30pm Swimming 6:15pm As BBC2 6:40pm Scrum V 6:45pm Wild 7:20pm Natural World 8:10pm Meerkat Manor 8:35pm Meerkat Manor 9:00pm To Be Announced 10:00pm The Trap - What Happened to Our Dreams of Freedom 11:00pm As BBC2 3:35am To Be Announced On an evening stroll this week, myself and TV Lyle and TV Marshall walked past a funeral parlour.

This prompted a fascinating discussion in which Ben revealed a secret side of himself, that quite frankly, is fucking hilarious. Idea No.1: Cremation, but lining the coffin with fireworks. Way to go out with a bang. Hahahahaha. When it was pointed out no retarded fucker would do it, Idea No.2 came about: Tattoo a secret message across his chest asking to be cremated with fireworks, but “not to tell anyone”. A dying wish, if you will. When it was then pointed out that he couldn’t afford to risk getting the tattoo at 60, or even 40, when Final Destination has taught us all that death is just around the corner, this idea fell flat on his face.

Instead, the new plan is a Viking Funeral. Wikipedia it. It’s fun.

7:00am The Sunday Programme 8:25am House of Mouse 8:50am Totally Spies! 9:15am Yin Yang Yo! 9:30am SpongeBob SquarePants 9:50am Oban Star Racers 10:25am CITV:Mr Bean: The Animated Series 10:35am CITV:Feodor 10:45am CITV:Curious George 10:55am CITV:Pocoyo 11:05am CITV:Jim Jam; Sunny 11:15am CITV:Jim Jam; Sunny 11:30am Soccer Sunday 12:30pm The Sunday Edition with Andrew Rawnsley and Andrea Catherwood 1:30pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:35pm American Idol 2:05pm Film To Be Announced 4:40pm Film To Be Announced 7:25pm ITV Wales News and Weather 7:40pm ITV News; Weather 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Film To Be Announced 12:00am ITV News; Weather 12:10am The South Bank Show 12:10am The Moral of the Story 12:40am ITV Play: Glitterball 5:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 6:00am ITV Nightscreen 6:30am ITV Early Morning News This has proved too much fun to not include each week: Who would win in a fight? A badger with an axe or a dog with a gun? Six priests or an eagle with AIDS? Or Beth Ditto against Dawn French?

Ben’s intelligent reponse was “society”.

A snake that smells like a hot dog versus a really hungry, blind, fat man?

Kyle’s reponse: “Oooohh that is interesting!” Jesus vs Father Christmas?

Father versus Son. Controversial.

7:05am The Hoobs 7:30am Trans World Sport 8:30am Velux 5 Oceans 9:00am World Cup Skiing 10:00am T4:Popworld 10:45am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 1:15pm T4:Shipwrecked 2007: The Hut Cam Diaries 1:50pm T4:Musicool 2:55pm T4:Beauty and the Geek 3:55pm T4:The OC 4:55pm T4:Ugly Betty 5:55pm Deal or No Deal 6:40pm Time Team 7:40pm Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 8:40pm Channel 4 News 9:00pm Film To Be Announced 12:00am Billy Madison 2:10am Untamed Heart 4:05am Holy Matrimony 5:50am To Be Announced 6:25am Countdown Interesting facts of the week: Santa is an anagram of Satan, cats’ piss glows under a black light; the ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side; heroin used to be a cough medicine for children; the hairs on a polar bear are not white - they are clear; Ben Marshall likes to wear women’s make-up; Kyle Ellison looks like TJ Detweiler out of Recess; 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents each day; the youngest Pope was 11 years old; dolphins sleep with one eye open, 1 in every 200 people is a psychopath, and they look just like everyone else, the penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. List of top 8 superheroes: 1. Wonder Woman 2.

Spiderman 3. Wolverine 4. Batman 5.

Popeye 6. Silver Surfer 7. The Incredible Hulk 8. TV Ben’s Mum.

7:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends 7:25am Franny's Feet 7:35am Sailor Sid 7:40am The Clangers 7:50am Franklin 8:15am Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends 8:25am Little Princess 8:45am Make Way for Noddy 9:00am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 9:15am Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 9:30am Rupert Bear 9:45am Rupert Bear 10:00am Jane and the Dragon 10:30am Michaela's Wild Challenge 11:00am Arthur's Trip 11:30am A Different Life 12:00pm Billie, Girl of the Future 12:35pm RAD: The Groms Tour the Baltics 1:05pm Rooted 1:35pm Divine Designs 2:05pm five news update 2:10pm To Be Announced 3:15pm Secret of the Incas 5:10pm The Train Robbers 6:55pm five news and sport 7:10pm My Girl 2 9:00pm Grey's Anatomy 10:00pm Grey's Anatomy 11:00pm Film To Be Announced 12:45am NCAA College Basketball 2:15am 101 Greatest Knockouts 2:45am Football Argentina 4:20am Boxing Classic 5:10am Motorsport Mundial 5:45am Race and Rally UK 6:10am Ironman Triathlon Top 10 Best Villains: 1. The Joker 2. Venom. 3.

Green Goblin 4. Magneto 5. Sandman 6. Kingpin 7. Lex Luthor 8. Bluto 9.

The Penguin 10. The Scarecrow. I personally think the worst superhero is Superman. He wears spanky pants.

Everyone else shits all over him.

Especially Wolverine.

8:00pm The Real Hustle 8:30pm Men in Black the best thing about this movie is Will Smith’s theme song.

Catchy lyrics about defending the galaxy and Tommy Lee Jones. He may be a shit singer, but boy can he dance.

“I make this look good” became the pre-teen catchphrase everytime they donned their sunglasses. Which, like I said above, you should be doing now. I fucking love sunshine. 10:00pm Lucy: The Teenage Transsexual It worries me that I have nothing to say about this.

Apparently I’m a serious knob this week. 11:00pm Castaway Exposed 12:00am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:30am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:00am Ideal 12:30am To Be Announced 2:00am Torchwood 2:50am Castaway Exposed 3:50am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 4:20am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps TV Lyle and Marshall both like crisps.

8:00pm Wainwright's Walks 8:30pm All Mod Cons 9:05pm Arena: Little Platform, Big Stage 10:00pm Wedding Rites - In Sickness and in Health: Timeshift 11:00pm TVs Black Pioneers 12:00am Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe 12:30am Wainwright's Walks 12:00am Wedding Rites - In Sickness and in Health: Timeshift 2:00am TVs Black Pioneers 3:00am Arena: Little Platform, Big Stage 3:55am Wedding Rites - In Sickness and in Health: Timeshift This week’s craze is lists. Lots of lists. Best celebrity weddings: 1. Jordan and Peter Andre 2. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline 3. Anthea Turner and the Snowflake 4.

Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt. In all seriousness, I miss this couple to death and sometimes wish Angelina Jolie would catch some sort of terminal illness from one of her gazillion adopted children so Pitt can realise the error of his ways.

7:00am Ni Ni's Treehouse 7:25am Fun Song Factory 7:35am Mopatop's Shop 7:45am Engie Benjy 7:55am Pocoyo 8:15am Fun Song Factory 8:25am The Sunday Programme 9:55am Teleshopping 10:25am Smallville 11:20am Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Me, Kyle, Ben, Jazz, my Mum, Ben’s Mum, Kyle’s Mum, a tramp, 3 dogs, Keith Chegwin, Les Dennis, Chris Tarrant after his divorce.

12:20pm Emmerdale Omnibus 3:05pm To Be Announced 5:05pm Coronation Street Omnibus 7:30pm American Idol 9:30pm American Idol 10:00pm Supernatural 11:00pm Coronation Street 11:30pm To Be Announced 2:00am ITV Play: Glitterball 5:00am Teleshopping Top 5 timewasters: 1.

Make lists. 2. Make up hypothetical fights. 3. Project insults. 4. Be a TV editor. 5. Eat.

7:00am E4 Music Zone 3:00pm Popworld 4:00pm To Be Announced 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Switched Up! 7:00pm The OC The time is getting near, and I am devastated. Seth Cohen is an out and out hero, and my days will now be empty at the lack of new Cohen material. I shall miss you dearly Newport County. R.I.P. 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends Some of the funniest Friends moments I can remember: Ross’ teeth-whitening, Ross’ spray-on tan, Chandler in general and Courtney Cox being the first woman to talk about periods on telly.

9:00pm Ugly Betty 10:00pm ER 11:00pm Desperate Housewives Reasons to watch this: Mike Delfino.

Mike Delfino. Mike Delfino. Mike Delfino. Mike Delfino. 12:00am Skins 12:00am Transmission With T-Mobile 12:55am Popworld 2:45am Skins 3:45am To Be Announced 4:30am My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss 5:30am Switched

7:10am The Hoobs 7:30am Trans World Sport 8:30am Velux 5 Oceans 9:00am World Cup Skiing 9:55am Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:25pm Shipwrecked 2007: Battle of the Islands 1:30pm Yr Wythnos 2:00pm Maniffesto 2:30pm Rownd a Rownd 3:00pm Rownd a Rownd 3:30pm Room for Improvement 4:00pm It's Me or the Dog: Crufts 2007 5:00pm Time Team Special: Pugin - The God of Gothic 6:00pm Byd o Liw 6:30pm Newyddion 6:35pm Pobol y Cwm Omnibws 8:30pm Codi Canu 9:00pm Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol 9:30pm Cefn Gwlad 10:00pm Cowbois ac Injans 11:00pm Newyddion 11:15pm Kidnapped 12:50am Deception 2:35am The Services 3:00am To Kill a King 4:40am The Insider: Unmarried Parents Scandal MOST of this is about as understandable as Ben’s so-called humour. And his fashion sense. And his taste in men.

20% student discount on all pizzas and starters Every second pizza half price Call in store for our take away deals

five 7.10am

62 Crwys Road, Cardiff, CF24 4NN

02920 229977

gairrhydd

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PROBLEM PAGE

MARCH.19.2007 PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

The de Ville’s Advocate This Week: I can’t believe you kiss your car goodnight...

Overrated/ Underrated Here I cleverly justapose good things with bad things. I’m finding exceptionally difficult to like anything at the moment apart from the sound of my own raspy breathing...

Overrated:

Tonsils I’m currently suffering from gigantism of the left tonsil, and am making sure that EVERYONE feels my pain. It’s presently the size of a golf ball, and if it gets any bigger it’s going to explode and my face is going to fall off, leaving only a hollow neck. The more I think about it, the more scared I become. And the more scared I become, the bigger it gets. It’s a vicious circle.

Bread Wheat and gluten allergies are mega trendy, so thought I’d jump on the bandwagon and eschew bread in favour of rice cakes and old man porn. But my housemate bought a job lot of quick-sell bread from Morrisons and now I can’t eat anything else due to lack of time/money to shop. My tea consisted of a BREAD roll followed by BREAD and butter pudding.

Bread is massively overrated. I miss proper meals.

Underrated: Daphne Fowler Keppel is too posh for my liking, C.J. is a twat, the fat one is clearly the current holder of ‘Most Arrogant Man’ award and the quiet one has nowt to say. Daphne is the tour de force of Eggheads. No single human being looks more like a poodle - a little brainy poodle. She’s captured Dermot’s heart… now let her capture yours.

Personal Stereos Walkmans, iPods, whatever. NOTHING beats the joy of walking at a brisk pace while listening to a groovy hip-hop and happening tune on your personal music box. Just try not to walk into walls. Or fall into people’s laps on buses.

Homeward bound Dear Grace, I really hate Easter. I don’t want to go home and spend the holidays with my dysfunctional family, but don’t want to stay in Cardiff all on my tod. My mum always makes a huge fuss of my return and forces me to eat ridiculous amounts of food because she thinks I’m malnourished. When I told her that I was on a macrobiotic diet, she made me eat an ENTIRE Easter cake. The woman is EVIL. Where shall I go? What shall I do?

A frightened boy.

Dear frightened boy, Visiting the family during the holiday period is like a doubleedged sword. Not only is one gladdened to the CORE by joyous memories of childhood frolics; it also feels like revisiting

the scene of a crime. I've never committed any (serious) felonies, but have behaved like a bit of a tool from time-to-time.

The lethal combination of the strong moral message* prevalent in Gremlins and recently returning to my place of birth have spurned me to confess my past sins. I’m a HORRIBLE individual. Being nice doesn’t come naturally. Ok, so I threw a basketball at Frances Hulley's head and made my French teacher cry by telling her she had handwriting like a "spastic child". I also gave my best friend some vile chunky earrings that were an unwanted gift and told her I'd spent loads on them. AND (on Millennium Eve) I fell into some old person's door and knocked the whole thing down.

I’d like to publicly apologise to the victim of my door misdemeanor because I didn’t mean it and I was sozzled at the time.

Sorry, old person. I’m sorry that

I ran away while you were shaking your fist in the air and cursing the heavens for inflicting yobbish youths on you. Sorry.

I’m completely missing the point. I too find that visiting the family is about as much fun as getting raped by a large swordfish. I always considered my father the sanest member of the family, but changed my mind somewhat when I found out that he’d been stealing large chunks of historical monuments to add to the crazy paving in the garden. His most recent addition was a lump from the temple of Zeus - one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

Go to Center Parcs. I’ll meet you there.

Grace E. de Ville xxxx *a)Don't give water to anything that sings and has more than 70% of their body covered in fur. b) Don't eat after midnight.

Existentially frustrated Dear Grace, What are your views on religion? I feel that I’m under pressure to be confirmed as a member of the Christian church but would rather not bother. I’m confused. I’m not sure if I believe in all that God stuff.

Does this make me a rubbish Christian?

ing under a large musty sheet. I think you should either become a Scientologist OR collect beetles and keep them in matchboxes.

In other news: I had my portrait painted this evening. By ‘painted’ I mean ‘scribbled in highlighter’. I think the resemblance

is uncanny. The artiste has really captured the essence of moi.

N.B. I’m not that yellow or busty in real life.

Peace, love and understanding, Grace xxx

Alan Dear Alan, I used to be rather spiritual. But then I went to a scary church where they called me to the front and put a big white sheet on my head and asked me to feel the power of the Lord. I couldn’t feel anything and frankly looked like a bit of a twat. Other people were lying on the floor and ‘feeling’ the power, but I just felt a bit sweaty stand-

I’m in the worst mood ever recorded since the measurement of bad tempers began, back in 1844. Words cannot express just how stressed I am, so I shall attempt to sum it up in numerical form: 3755487578fuckinghelli’mgoingtofailmydegree73587 22fuck1000887fuckityfuck577563765844fuck444654shit12425i’mdoomed41shit46 2146woeisme251646.4562906745632417ohdear9036746823844837452705924

36 gairrhydd MARCH.19.2007

FIVE MINUTE FUN SUDOKU 5 9

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FIVEMINUTEFUN@gairrhydd.COM

!

The white part of your fingernail is called the lunula.

The black part is called grime.

Fairly fun

Scientist Isaac Newton invented the cat flap.

facts...

You’re more likely to divorce or move house than change your bank.

Tony Blair is a distant cousin of the Queen.

Carol Vorderman of Countdown fame has an IQ of 154.

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Penelope Cruz is a collector of coat hangers.

Johnny Depp is scared of clowns.

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2 5 6 4

5 5

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HOW TO PLAY SUDOKU: Put your left leg in. Pull your left leg out. In Out. In Out. Shake it all about. Do the hokey kokey and turn around bright eyes. Every now and then I fall apart. And I need you more than ever, and we only be making it right, peanuts.

CROSSWORD 1

2

3

4

5

6

!

7

A quiz to exercise your brain

6) In which British town did Michael Ryan run riot killing 14 people?

7) Which is the first animal listed in the Oxford English Dictionary?

8) What nationality is Jean Marc Bosman, famous for his ‘Bosman Ruling’ affecting football throughout Europe?

1) What in the medical world was first classified into the A.O.B. system in 1902?

9) Which actor, who played Dr Who, collapsed and died at a Dr Who convention?

2) Which peak overlooks the city of Cape Town?

10) In which country was England cricket captain Nasser Hussain born?

3) Who was first to be voted out of the original British Big Brother house?

4) Which TV secret agent’s real name was Paul Metcalfe?

ANSWERS: 1) Blood, 2) Table Mountain, 3) Sada , 4) Captain Scarlett, 5) Black Monday, 6) Hungerford, 7) Aardvark, 8) Belgian, 9) Patrick Troughton (Pronounced Trout-On), 10) India.

3

5) What nickname was given to the day when over £100 billion was wiped off the value of shares in the city of London?

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the hall of shame 6 6 6 7 6 7 6 7 8 7 0 R E B M U NEW TEXT N

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Do stuff, store it, text us a photo

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ACROSS 1 Clown (4) 3 Elegant, stylish (8) 9 Black tea (5) 11 Squeaky bark (3) 13 Labour leader (4, 5) 14 Putty-like substance (3) 16 Antenna (6) 18 Vital (9) 20 Point (3) 22 Show of boldness (7) 23 Nearby pub (5) 25 Searching look (8) 26 Water-surrounded land (4)

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’s simply Bashir: he innit phenomenal, Oh, I

DOWN 1 Brightly-coloured aquarium fish (5) 2 Tree (3) 4 Modern (6) 5 Diameter of a tube (7) 6 Order (9) 7 From the sides (7) 8 Tidy (4) 12 Baby carriage (9) 14 Type of van (7) 15 Fleeting moment (7) 17 Signalling firework (6) 19 American university (4) 21 Swelling (3) 24 Variety of lettuce (3)

’m ve ry

arous

ed

Feeling a bit down? Stressed out by lectures?

Disillusioned by humans and the state of society?

Last week we had Bob ‘Boomtown Rats’ Geldof.

This week, we give you Stephen Fry, charming and so intelligent. I just want to stroke his face.

Exhibit no. 212 Q.I King for you and me and bababa

gairrhydd

37

GRAB!

MARCH.19.2007 COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

Through the looking-glass Independent has Access All T he Magical Alice in Wonderland by English National Ballet is showing this April at the Wales Millennium Centre, and we have a pair of tickets to give away.

The magic of Lewis Carroll’s engaging story is sensationally brought to life in this acclaimed production. With the imaginative choreography, fabulous designs, breathtaking illusions and a superb Tchaikovsky score, the magic and mystery of this classic children’s book are superbly translated from the page to the stage.

Join Alice on her adventures as she follows the White Rabbit into a world of enchantment that includes a crazy tea-party with the Mad Hatter and his friends: a sinister Corridor of Doors and an enchanting Pool of Tears: a magical Garden of Living

Flowers: a bizarre game of croquet with the King and Queen of Hearts and a curious Caucus-race with the most extraordinary cast of animals ever to grace the stage.

“This ballet is immensely enjoyable, gorgeous music, splendid dancers and dance that is fun all the way” - The Sunday Telegraph “Sue Blane’s gorgeous designs are brilliant re-creations or adaptations of Tenniel’s images. As an animated picture-book, Deane and Blane’s staging scores highly” - The Sunday Times With a company of 64 dancers, full orchestra and live, staged magic all part of the show, English National Ballet’s Alice In Wonderland promises to be one of this season’s most magical experiences!

For your chance to win a pair of

tickets to Alice and Wonderland just send an e-mail to the usual address with your postal address and you answer to the following question: Who wrote Alice and Wonderland? a. Lewis Carroll b. Charles Dickens c. Jane Austen If you are not lucky enough to win the tickets we have up for grabs then call the WMC ticket line on 08700 40 2000. The show times are: Tuesday 17 April at 7.30pm Wednesday 18 April at 7.30pm Thursday 19 April at 2pm and 7.30pm Friday 20 April at 7.30pm Saturday 21 April at 2pm and 7.30pm

Areas

B

ecause the Independent knows just how much students love a good night out and free stuff, it has combined the two and is giving away 5 free Access All Areas tickets for Friday 30th March!

The Independent is available Monday to Friday around campus at coffee and union shops at the special reduced student price of 25p. Despite the discount, there are still all the benefits of the edginess and boundary pushing journalism that can be found in the regular priced edition.

Not forgetting the excellent Media section on Monday and the especially useful Education and Careers section on Thursday.

To win the tickets simply email competitions@gairrhydd.com with the answer to this simple question: How much is The Independent in special student stores? a. 25p b. £2.50 c. £25

Hi everyone! We have more great prizes to give away this week including: a pair of tickets to see Alice in Wonderland the ballet at the Wales Millennium centre, a pair of tickets to see Moll Flanders at the Sherman theatre, and 5 tickets to Access All Areas courtesy of The Independent. Also don't miss the fantastic discount offer on Powerisers through City Surf in Castle Arcade. Here are just some of the winners from our previous competitions: Cheryl Chen was the winner of a £50 Zushi voucher; Katherine Harmer won a student beans hoodie; Emer Hession and Georgie Coles won themselves student beans t-shirts and jelly beans; Gillian Bell was the winner of 2 tickets to see the Vagina Monologues; Lara B-Taylor won a poledancing lesson for her and a friend; Steven Preece won beer festival entry with lots of free beer; J.E. Mullineux and Sarah Sellers won Access All Area tickets; and Jerome Palmade, Ruth Thomas and Ian Stone won themselves each a copy of Special on DVD.

You have the power

F

lipping crazy - Get your pants over your trousers these pogo shoes give you superhero powers. Leap buildings in a single bound! Run faster than a speeding bullet!

Bruise your face and ego as your backflip backfires!

Guaranteed to put a spring in your step.” T3 The Poweriser can propel the user to spring over 6 feet high and make strides over 9 feet wide. The specially configured springs of the Adult Poweriser have been designed for 6 different weights.

Powerisers have curved springs attached to the base, so when you press your feet downwards, the pressure of your weight creates gravitational energy. The integral super-charged springs push back to harness this energy, giving you the ability to jump to incredible heights and run with huge strides at amazing speeds.

With a pair of Powerisers on your feet you'll be able to move like a superhero. The soar in adrenaline you feel when a small jump takes you high in the air above the tress

The Life of Moll Flanders

F is impossible to describe - it has to be felt to be believed. Running at greatly increased speeds will prove quite an experience too.

The recommended retail price of Powerisers is £225, but at City Surf in the Castle Arcade Powersisers are available for the fantastic student price of £180 (with NUS). Also the first 10 orders that City Surf receive mentioning gair rhydd can have an extra £10 off Powerisers!

There is no postage and packaging cost for Cardiff delivery. If you wish to view or purchase a pair you can visit City Surf or contact cardiffpowerisers@yahoo.co.uk

ollowing their acclaimed production of Canterbury Tales in 2006, Mappa Mundi Theatre Company return with a rollicking new adaptation of Daniel Defoe’s classic groundbreaking novel, Moll Flanders, and we have a pair of tickets to give away to see the show at the Sherman Theatre.

After a scandalous life of adventure, bigamy, incest and fraud, the notorious Moll Flanders finds herself in the shadow of the gallows. Her rags-toriches tale reveals the cunning of a woman determined to crack the glass ceiling of Eighteenth Century society… by any means necessary! But as she confesses to her life of shame, will this moral outlaw be able to stay the hand of the executioner?

This fabulous new production has more than a hint of spice - it’s bawdy, irreverent and peppered with dark comedy. Atmospherically staged with an original score, Moll Flanders bears all the Mappa Mundi trademarks that keep audiences coming back for more.

An action-packed, riotous, downright entertaining show that’s as irresistible as Moll herself!

Moll Flanders is a classic piece of

social commentary on the place of women in society. It can be seen as the tale of an ingenious, self-reliant woman and her struggle for independence. Mappa Mundi’s tale of Moll’s extraordinary life is made relevant and accessible to modern audiences and balances the darker moments of the story with ludicrous comedy: a fast paced script and hilarious character acting.

The challenge of playing Moll is taken on by one of Wales’ most striking and versatile young actresses, Mali Tudno Jones. A new face to Mappa Mundi, Mali’s feisty, fiery and gutsy Moll will certainly have an interesting tale to tell.

Richard Nichols (Scrum 4) and Lee Mengo (Canterbury Tales) are two familiar faces in the cast whose deadpan comedy should raise plenty of laughs.

Moll Flanders will be Mappa Mundi’s most lavish production to date. The full period costumes are by Lloyd Llewellyn-Jones, a costume designer and historical expert who has worked as costume and set consultant on Oliver Stone’s Alexander.

Atmospherically and inventively

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN

staged, with an original score by Peter Knight, Moll Flanders bears all the Mappa Mundi trademarks that keep audiences coming back for more.

We have a pair of tickets for one lucky reader to see Moll Flanders when it comes to the Sherman Theatre, so be quick and e-mail us your contact details as soon as possible for your chance to win the tickets.

Moll Flanders is showing at the Sherman from 22 March 07 - 23 March 07. Shows start at 19:30 and tickets are only £11 for studnets, available to purchase from the box office or by calling 029 2064 6900.

! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

38 gairrhydd

LISTINGS

MARCH.19.2007 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This Week; farce with Hotbed Hotel; weirdness with Howling Bells; Dance Bytes; Hotbed Hotel

@ YMCA

Theatre

March 20 - 24

7pm / £5

Charlotte Hill recommends

A

ct One’s latest season is to be rounded off with Hotbed Hotel, a “raunchy, riotous romp” that promises to tickle everyone’s fancy.

Let’s set the scene. Terry and Brian Cody are hoping to sell their one star hotel to Mr. Lewis, the only man who has expressed any interest in buying it. Unfortunately, they have so few guests that they’re afraid that Mr. Lewis will deduce that the hotel is a bad investment.

Diversions @ New Theatre Wed - Sat March 21 - 24

7.30pm / £5 - £7

Dance Bytes @ Chapter Arts Fri - Sat March 23 - 24

8pm / £6 - £15

To bolster interest, they devise a ploy to make the hotel appear busier and more prosperous than it actually is. This sees the staff masquerade as paying guests, giving Mr. Lewis the impression that the hotel is overflowing with loyal customers and vacationers.

However, their plan has one hitch: the entire staff consists of an alcoholic maintenance man and a sexy, scatterbrained housemaid who just can’t seem to keep her clothes on!

Further havoc breaks loose following the arrival of the predatory nymphomaniac Hayley Harrington, affectionately known as “The Barracuda”.

She is joined by a wealthy Arabian Sheik named Abdul and a humourless old battleaxe. This farcical meeting of outlandish characters creates a hotbed of intrigue and innuendo that culminates in a show-stopping finale.

If you like farce, comedy or the theatre then you are in luck, because Hotbed Hotel contains all of these elements and much more. Don’t miss.

Listings Editor Rosaria Sgueglia recommends

H

ello folks, what do you think of dance? I would love to tell you about two events this week which will explore the form of dance and the powerful and unique interpretations it can present to its audience.

The first event, Diversions, will take place at the New Theatre and will feature the talented dancers from Wales’ National Dance Company. The show has been developed by choreographers from around the world and promises to bring you the best dance ever performed.

The originality of the concept is absolutely stunning – it will feature a range of different music styles ranging from Mozart to modern percussion. What more can you ask for? Trust the professionalism of the Wales National Dance Company and enjoy the beauty of

Coming Up Kings of Leon

Gig of the week...

Howling Bells @ The Point

vocals from signer Juanita Stein evoke spine-tingling images of a dark sensuality.

The band played last year as first support on the Cardiff leg of the NME New Music Tour. This performance at The Point marks their progression

into a headlining act. It’s only £8.50, so catch them at a smaller venue while you can.

Listen on 87.7FM or online at www.xpressradio.co.uk.

March 22

7.30pm / £8.50 Rachel McWhinney recommends

T

his week, Howling Bells, the musical embodiment of the uncanny and strange, return sto Cardiff and perform the final date of their UK tour.

The Australian quartet, who carry on the experiments in weirdness pioneered by cult show Twin Peaks, have enjoyed positive critical and commercial success following the release of their self-titled debut album last year.

Sexy, dark and brooding, the infectiously creeping guitars and soaring

Diversions.

The second dance show, WID: Dance Bytes, will be held at the Chapter Arts Centre and is a platform for Welsh Independent Dance to perform their amazing show, prepared by two emerging choreographers in Wales. Stories are told through the fluid movements of the dancers. The show is constructed on the basis of body language and highly physical contact work.

One piece is about the world of Angelica, an emotional place full of fears and desires. It is a dark world where even beauty comes face to face with danger.

If you are interested in dance and the idea of communication without words then either of these shows, or even both, could be for you, and there’s a 1pm matinee on Wednesday as well.

For information please contact www.welshindance.co.uk, and have fun.

Cardiff Univers i t y Orchestra and Choir

@ St. David s

Hall

March 23

7.30pm / £6 £16 Gordon Lawrence recommends

T

he term is quickly reaching its conclusion and promises to end with a flourish with an adept performance by the Cardiff University Orchestra and Choir in St David’s Hall.

Conducted by Dr Timothy Taylor from the School of Music, this event, often regarded as one of the highlights of the University’s musical year, wil bring you an evening of music such as you have never heard before.

The concert will open with Brahms’ brilliant and exciting Academic Overture. This scintillating and lively music, with themes based on melodies written by Brahms’ students, is guaranteed to have your feet tapping and make you forget all about any end-of-term assessments.

The orchestra will then be joined

by Cardiff University alumnus and visiting piano tutor Christopher Williams, for a rare performance of Rubenstein’s beautiful Piano Concerto. From the luscious harmonies of the First and Second Movements to the excitement of the opening of the Third, this music will unquestionably captivate and enthral.

The choir will then join forces with the orchestra for a rendition of Beethoven’s sublime Missa Solemnis. This music is one of the landmarks of the choral and orchestral repertoire, described by Prince Nicolas Galitzin as “a treasure of beauties”.

The orchestra and choir have been rehearsing all weekend in order to put the finishing touches to this magical programme of music. Come along and hear the results on Friday evening. It’s going to be stunning!

The Fall - 26 March @ The Point...Snoop Dogg / P Diddy - 28 March @ CIA...The Horrors - 30 March @ Barfly...Lemar - 30 March @ CIA...Incubus - 2 April @ CIA...Sugababes - 6 April @ CIA...Dopamine - 12 April @ Barfly...Deep Purple / Styx / Thin Lizzy @ CIA...Manic Street Preachers - 11/12 May @ SU...Girls Aloud - 23 May @ CIA...The Who - 1 June @ Swansea...Paul Weller - 20 June @ Newport Centre...Kings of Leon - 5 July @ CIA...Damien Rice - 12 Oct @ CIA...

Fflam Festival: Manic Street Preachers / Placebo / Feeder (plus others) - 12-15 July @ Singleton Park, Swansea...

gairrhydd 39

LISTINGS

MARCH.19.2007 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

classical with the Cardiff University Orchestra and Choir.

Monday 19/03

Tuesday 20/03

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative music night. Also features DJing by Oddsoc and bands put on

by LMS in the live music room. 10pm - 2am.

Free entry with NUS. £3 otherwise.

The Jazz Attic @ Cafe Jaz An opportunity to jam in a somewhat jazzy manner with the house jazz trio. All instruments and singers are welcome. £2/£1 if you perform. Arrive early.

Vodka Island @ Tiger Tiger Wales’ superclub offering their usual stuff of fairly cheap drinks, party tunes and booths.

9.30pm - 2am. £4.

America @ St David’s Hall Classic rock from 70s group America, composed of British-born sons of American military workers and British wives. Their song A Horse With No Name kickstarted their successful career of folk rock. Some dad rock for the week. This is the first British date for a decade. 8pm. £27.50.

Mae Gynno Ni Hawl Ar Y Ser: Llwyflan Gogledd Cymru @ Chapter Arts Centre Finally, Listings suggests something actually Welsh going on in Cardiff. This is a Welsh-language play written by Iwan Llwyd, based on the last days of Hedd Wyn. Also showing on Tuesday. 8pm. £6 - £10.

LMS Open Mic Night @ Buffalo Bar Open mic fun. 8pm. Free.

Price: Free Planet Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bach Revamped rock night that promises “familiar classics from the fields of metal, hard rock and goth.” 9pm - 2pm. £3.

The Tunguska Event / Derail / A470 @ Barfly Quartet The Tunguska Event write songs, to quote www.barflyclub.com, about “things that matter, like drinking tea on a Sunday afternoon. Once in a while they play their songs to music loving folk, culminating in much fun and frolicking”. Songs about drinking tea?

Super Furry Animals once wrote a song about chewing gum, so all may not be lost. 7.30pm. £5/£4 with flyer.

Laughing Matters @ St David’s Hall Stand up comedy from Russell Howard. 8pm. £9.

Pick Of The Day The Vagina Monologues @ WMC Jerry Hall, Nikki Sanderson and Wales’ own Ruth Madoc star in this production of the international monologue hit based around female, er parts. The show was created by Eve Ensler, who asked 200 women of all ages and backgrounds about sex, childbirth and relationships.

The cast present the findings. Runs from today until Saturday. See www.vaginamonologues.co.uk for further information. 7.30pm. £5 - £32.

Pick Of The Day Faultline & Exit No Exit @ Sherman Theatre British Asian dance produced by awardwinning choreographer Shobana Jeyasingh, accompanied by film and sounds. Faultline’s musical score features classical soprano Patricia Rozario and sonic artist Scanner. The film part of the performance is provided by conceptual film artist Pete Gomes. The other piece, Exit No Exit, is a metaphorical work on the impossiblity of easy exits.

Its soundtrack is provided by composer Michael Nyman. 7.30pm. £8.

Music With Taste - Lunchtime Concert: Sarah Jane Davies / James Longford @ St David’s Hall Soprano Davies is representing Wales in the 2007 BBC Cardiff Singer of the World in June. She will perform songs and arias by Strauss, Mozart and Handel. Pianist James Longford accompanies. 1pm. £5.50/concs.

Wednesday 21/03

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Clubbing for jocks and pretend jocks, with a different fancy dress theme most weeks.

10pm. £3.

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors, three different clubs; classic funk and motown; indie classics and brand new music; cheese. 9.30pm. £3.

Cheapskates @ Metros.

Indie, alternative and a dash of cheese mixed together to create a good blend of atmosphere, great music and, being Metros, extreme heat. £6 entry, but for your money you get house doubles for the slightly odd price of £1.09. 8pm-3am.

Unseen India @ Chapter Arts Centre Film reflections on modern Indian identity.

6.30pm. £5.10.

Pick Of The Day The Refugee All Stars @ Chapter Arts Centre Powerful documentary that tells the story of six refugees, all survivors of the unbelievably brutal war in Sierra Leone, who meet in a camp in neighbouring Guinea and form a band that performs a mix of reggae, R&B and traditional music. The screening is followed by a panel-led discussion, with experts on key themes and the social setting of the documentary.

8.15pm. £5.10.

The Lowlights / Figment / The Cartelles @ Barfly The Lowlights are a Cardiff-based indie foursome inspired by many of the great bands of today like Franz Ferdinand and Bloc Party, as well as classic rock bands like Led Zeppelin.

Check out their website thelowlights.co.uk.

Also playing are Figment and The Cartelles.

7.30pm. £5/£4.

Celebrating Women @ Gate Arts Centre Ongoing art exhibition for International Women’s Day 2007 featuring the work of forty artists. For more information visit www.thegate.org.uk or call 029 2048 3344.

Friday 23/03

Saturday 24/03

Sunday 25/03

Access all Areas @ Solus SU New Look Friday...Another Union event, another way to make people drunk. Promises the best alternative music and beats for you to boogie to. 10pm - 2am. £3.50 / £3 adv.

Cardiff University Choir and Orchestra @ St David’s Hall See preview opposite on one of the big events of the musical year at Cardiff.

7.30pm. £6-£16.

The Dudes Abide @ Clwb Ifor Bach Music for those who love music. An indie and retro night that takes in the heady landscape created by the likes of Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Dusty Springfield.

10.pm – 2.30am. £3.50 / £4.

Come Play @ Solus, SU Party tunes in the main room and Traffic DJing in the side room. 10pm. £3.50.

Fly Swatter @ Barfly Indie party fest that mixes up the best music with the even better. Surprisingly, it’s nothing to do with fly swatters. 10.30pm. £5 NUS. Brendan Riley / Jefferson & Whitfield / Rhod Gilbert / Curtis Walker @ Jongleurs Comedy Club Comedy fun with a Quality Street box full of comedians performing for your delectation.

Even better, it’s chewy toffee free. 8pm. £10, includes free entry to Risa.

Glamour For Better @ Barfly New wave, or, given that it’s the Noughties, new, new wave. Flavoured with a dash of punk and sprinkling of disco. 8pm. £5.

Stonc! : Mattoidz / Ashokan / Ian Cottrell @ Clwb Ifor Bach Welsh group Ashokan perform material from their debut album Diolch am ddal y gannwyll (Thanks for holding the candle), released to critical acclaim. 9pm. £5.

Open Mic (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar An intimate and relaxed atmosphere where you can experience live acoustic acts, songwriters and performers, as well as participating yourself. 8pm - 3am. £1.

The Hop @ Buffalo Bar The resident DJs present 50’s night: rock ‘n’ roll, jive, rockabilly and psychobilly. 8pm 3am. Free.

Bolt Action Five @ Barfly Londoners Bolt Action Five (ironically only four members) have been described by DirtySouth as “… the ultimate portable party: drum machine thumps, funky-as-sh*t bass lines, and metal-punk-fuzz guitar riffs”. 8pm. £5.

Art For Charity: The Strand / The Shake / Comb @ Clwb Ifor Bach Charity night featuring a performance by Cardiff rock group The Strand. The threepiece band say that they are inspired by everyone from Shane MacGowan to Supergrass. Take a look at their website www.thestrandmusic.com. 8pm. £4/£3.

Meltdown Present: David Mysterious / Tinmen / Desensitized / Drunk Granny @ Clwb Ifor Bach Punk from Cardiff’s Desensitized, riot grrrlesque stuff (remember that?!) from the amusingly named Drunk Granny, and yet more glorious entertainments for your pleasure.

9pm. £4/£3.

Kelly Jones @ Coal Exchange Gruff-voiced Stereophonics singer performing in an intimate venue. 7pm. £17.50.

Pick Of The Day Kruger Presents: Son Of Dave / The Mules / Tom Mansi And The Icebreakers / Carl Forecast @ Clwb Ifor Bach Indie night presented by Cardiff’s alternative music stalward Kruger magazine. Son Of Dave are close in name to being postBusted tweenyboppers Son of Dork, but their music couldn’t be any more different.

Blues of the wailing harmonica kind is what drives the group, which features the ex-drummer of Crash Test Dummies. Also up, The Mules, who are a little bit country, a little bit rock n’ roll and a little bit of everything else, from Prince-esque synths to a free use of the fiddle. 7.30pm 11pm. £5.

Mad4It! @ Barfly DJ Mike TV comperes an indietastic night of your favourite alternative music, ranging from the Strokes to the Smiths to absolutely everything in between. 10.30pm - 2am. £5.

Moll Flanders @ Sherman Theatre The Mappa Mundi Theatre Company present a new adaptation of Daniel Defoe’s classic novel. Features an original score.

Recommended for fans of literature. 7.30pm. £11-£13.50.

Pick Of The Day - GLC join Burberry Workers Concert @ Ystrad Leisure Centre, Rhondda Cynon Taff Concert held in protest of the planned closure of the Burberry factory in Treorchy. Performers include Goldie Lookin’ Chain, The Automatic, Gruff Rhys from Super Furry Animals and The Alarm.

Tickets available from www.ticketmaster.co.uk or ticketline UK: 02920 230130. £12.50.

A Night Of Soul: MADASSA @ Newbridge Memo, Caerphilly A night of soul music with MADASSA and other bands. For information ring 01495 243252. 7.30pm. £7(adv) / £9(door).

Acoustic Tull: Jethro Tull @ St David’s Hall Prog rock fest from folk rock titans Jethro Tull. Bring your dad along. 7.30pm. £28.50/ £25.50 advance.

Pick Of The Day Bayou Seco @ Millennium Centre Bayou Seco hail from New Mexico and their music accordingly reflects their southern heritage, exploring musical traditions from the South including Cajun, Norteno and New Mexican Spanish Colonial dance tunes on fiddles. Diverse and a good listen. 1pm foyer concert.

Contact venue for price.

Thursday 22/03

LMS Battle of The Bands Final @ Clwb Ifor Bach Final of the LMS-curated event. Expected to sell out, so get your tickets quickly.

8pm start. £5 live music society members / £6 non-members.

The Bait Shop @ Barfly For fans of alternative music, the Barfly has handily provided this club night, named after the same establishment frequented on The O.C. It will minister to all your musical needs, from The Shins to Basment Jaxx. 10.30pm. £3/2 NUS. Coal for Cardiff @ Cardiff Castle, Coopers Field A chance to get historical with a lecture by Brian Davies, local historian and Pontypridd Museum curator. 6pm. £6.

Howling Bells / The Alones & Spencer McGarry Season @ The Point See Xpress Radio’s recommendation of the week. 7.30pm. £8.50.

Kubichek! / Sonic Hearts @ Barfly Indie and rock anthems from Geordie quartet Kubichek! tonight. They are getting some degree of recognition in the media and the Barfly reckons that they occasionally sound like “Mogwai post-rock” as well. Bonza.

Support comes from Sonic Hearts.

7.30pm. £6.50.

Pick Of The Day The Keys / Black Hellcock / New Black Light Machine @ Clwb Ifor Bach Cardiff’s own Brian Wilson-inspired (well, a bit) The Keys released their eponymous debut in March 2004. They feature members from independent bands Murry The Hump, The Loves and El Goodo, and are bringing melodic-country-psychedelia-beat music to the foreground of the Cardiff scene. Supported by the garage-y Black Hellcock and New Black Light machine.

8pm. £4.

VENUES

Students’ Union, Park Place 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 iota, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

40 gairrhydd

SPORT

MARCH.19.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

The Deloitte IMG Breakfast

Mile Bennett Dyson IMG Reporter

IMG Football: Premiership Zoology 3 - 4 CARBS A DRAMATIC LATE winner gave CARBS a much-needed victory in what proved to be a thrilling Premiership encounter.

This latest win has sent CARBS to third in the Premiership table and they are now level on points with fellow title-challengers History.

Both CARBS and History are only three points behind leaders Gym Gym, who secured their fourth consecutive Premiership win against AFC Cathays last Wednesday.

History and CARBS play against one another on Sunday in what should be a nail-biting affair.

Meanwhile, Zoology have slipped to fifth in the table after suffering this defeat. They are now eight points behind the leaders and their title challenge is effectively over.

After an even opening, CARBS gradually began to assert themselves on the game and they soon took the lead. A Zoology defensive error left a CARBS striker with a simple opportunity to score.

However, Zoology responded well and after Tom Wilkinson had a goal disallowed for offside, the striker finally equalised with a deft header.

As Zoology pushed forward in search of another goal, they were caught out by a swift CARBS counter-attack.

A slick through-ball pierced the Zoo defence and while the initial shot was saved, the rebound was squeezed home. Despite the best efforts of sev-

menon on the match FOOTBALL NUMBER OF GOALS: 143 goals, 4.469 goals per game WHIPPING BOYS: Euros conceded 13 goals in 2 games SURPRISE PACKAGE: Thunderkatz for securing draws against the strong Zoology and Engin EPIC GAME: Dragons v Boca on Sunday was a classic, end-to-end, 8-goal thriller CONSISTENT PERFORMERS: Gym Gym, Law A, Law B, Crusaders, Economics and Japsoc are unbeaten TEAM OF THE WEEK: No shortage of candidates. This week Law B get the gong for two outstanding displays. One of these was an impressive win over Arse’Alona.

IMG Football Results Wed 14 Mar

eral Zoo defenders on the line, the ball still crept into the net.

This goal seemed to spur CARBS on and they hit the bar twice before the break. One of these attempts included an effort from 35 yards out.

The second half started in the same manner and CARBS went 3-1 up when the Zoo defence hesitated yet again on the edge of the box. Zoology were punished as the ball was fired into the net at the near post.

However, a spirited Zoology refused to give up. Out of nothing, Ben Jones reduced the deficit to 3-2 with the combination of a strong run and excellent finish.

With only one goal between the teams, Zoology pushed forward and thought they had equalised when Jones swept the ball home following a goalmouth scramble.

However, they were frustrated by the linesman’s decision to disallow the goal.

But although Zoology were aggrieved, they completed a fine fightback moments later. When Jones was brought down in the box, Sean Hutchinson dispatched the resulting penalty into the corner of the net.

The last ten minutes were full of end-to-end action as both teams searched for a winner.

And it was CARBS who grabbed the decisive goal. A low cross from the left was bundled home at the back post in the closing stages.

Despite dominating for large periods, CARBS were slightly fortunate to win a game they should have sewn up much earlier.

But this crucial victory has kept their title hopes alive. They will be looking to increase the pressure on Gym Gym with wins against History and AFC Cathays.

IMG Football Results Sun 11 Mar

Zoology MOMED AFC History CARBS

3 3 4 0

-

3 0 1 1

Thunderkatz AFC Cathays Engin Gym Gym

Law A Law B Arse’Alona B. Seniors

7 3 2 4

-

0 0 0 4

Butthead FC Pharm AC Chem Soc H. Dragons

Socsi Real Ale JOMEC Economics

2 1 0 0

-

3 2 3 0

J-Unit Psycho Ath. C. Crusaders Inter Me-Nan

Japsoc TWNN Esplanyol Myg Myg

2 1 5 3

-

1 6 2 2

Uni Hallstars English Soc Euros Park Rangers

IMG Football Fixtures Sun 18 Mar

PHOTO: Rob Taylor

CARBS shock Zoology with late winner

STRIDE: For the ball

Crusaders clinch top spot Ben Shaw IMG Reporter

IMG Football: Division 2 J-Unit 2 - 3 Crusaders CARDIFF CRUSADERS are now top of Division Two after securing a narrow win over J-Unit which contained four penalties.

League leaders Crusaders have secured ten points so far this season from four matches.

However, the Crusaders are only ahead of rivals Economics on virtue of goal difference. As Economics beat Socsi 2-0 elsewhere, the Division Two title race is still wide open.

The first meeting between J-Unit and Crusaders got off to a fast and tempestuous start. J-Unit dominated much of the first half, and they were awarded with two penalties.

The first was somewhat contentious, but the spot-kick was converted with relative ease to give JUnit a 1-0 lead.

Ten minutes later, a blatant trip

by Andrew Cave led to the second J-Unit penalty. But J-Unit missed on this occasion and the score remained 1-0.

Meanwhile, Crusaders improved after the interval and pegged J-Unit into their own box.

This pressure resulted in the third penalty of the afternoon as Crusaders’, George Anderson was brought down in the area.

Anderson shortly got back to his feet and converted the spot-kick to level the match.

IMG Football Fixtures Wed 21 Mar

Thunderkatz AFC Cathays Zoology MOMED

1 1 3 1

-

1 6 4 4

Engin Gym Gym CARBS AFC History

Thunderkatz Zoology MOMED AFC History

v v v v

AFC Cathays Engin Gym Gym CARBS

MOMED AFC History CARBS Gym Gym

v v v v

Thunderkatz Zoology AFC Cathays Engin

Butthead FC Pharm AC Law A Law B

1 2 7 3

-

2 1 2 2

Chem Soc H. Dragons B. Seniors Arse’Alona

Law A Law B Arse’Alona Butthead FC

v v v v

Chem Soc H. Dragons Boca Seniors Pharm AC

Law B Arse’Alona Boca Seniors H. Dragons

v v v v

Butthead FC Law A Pharm AC Chem Soc

J-Unit Psycho Ath. Socsi Real Ale

2 0 0 0

-

3 2 2 2

C. Crusaders Inter Me-Nan Economics JOMEC

Socsi Real Ale JOMEC J-Unit

v v v v

C. Crusaders Inter Me-Nan Economics Psycho Ath.

Real Ale JOMEC Economics Inter Me-Nan

v v v v

J-Unit Socsi Psycho Ath. C. Crusaders

Uni Hallstars English Soc Japsoc TWNN

8 1 2 5

-

2 3 0 2

Euros Park Rangers Myg Myg Esplanyol

Uni Hallstars Japsoc TWNN Esplanyol

v v v v

English Soc Euros Park Rangers Myg Myg

TWNN Esplanyol Myg Myg Park Rangers

v v v v

Uni Hallstars Japsoc English Soc Euros

The goal appeared to motivate Crusaders who continued to pile on the pressure. When a free-kick was beautifully whipped in by captain Ben Shaw, the ball fell kindly to Andrew Cave who found the top corner with a spectacular, left-footed shin volley.

But J-Unit responded well and soon grabbed a deserved equaliser.

Poor Crusaders defending gave a JUnit striker enough time and space to smash the ball home from point blank range.

As the pendulum swung yet again, Crusaders pushed bodies forward and won yet another penalty kick. The referee was forced to award a fourth spot-kick when a JUnit defender handled the ball in the box.

Anderson scored the penalty and gave Crusaders a 3-2 lead.

Shortly afterwards, a defensive reformation took place as Crusaders attempted to soak up the attacking J-Unit onslaught which followed.

But notable defensive displays

by Andy Ballard and Asher Ben Selman managed to keep the J-Unit attacks at bay, as Crusaders held onto victory.

After suffering this latest defeat, J-Unit have slipped to fifth in Division Two. But they have the opportunity to bounce back with victories against Psycho on Sunday and Real Ale Madrid this Wednesday.

On the other hand, Crusaders must continue their good run of form to stand any chance of claiming the title. Their next fixtures are against Socsi on Sunday and Iner Me-Nan this Wednesday.

IMG Netball Results: Wed 14 Mar Socsi B 8 Law B 8 Medics 10 D. Tigers 6 Cardiff B 21 Pharmacy A 4 Christ. Union 9 SAWSA 18

-

20 Loco 11 CARBS A 18 IWC A 17 Law A 5 Pharm B 23 Cardiff A 21 Econ A 10 Socsi A

Quarter-final draw: Wed 21 Mar CARBS Law Cardifff Economics

A A A A

v v v v

IWC A Cardiff B Locomotive SAWSA

Football Tables IMG Football

Premiership P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Gym Gym

4

4

0

0

11

12

2

AFC History

4

3

0

1

8

9

3

CARBS

4

3

0

1

7

9

4

Engin

4

2

1

1

2

7

5

Zoology

4

1

1

2

0

4

6

MOMED

4

1

0

3

-5

3

7

Thunderkatz

4

0

2

2

-8

2

8

AFC Cathays

4

0

0

4

-15

0

P

W

IMG Football

Division One D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Law A

4

4

0

0

17

12

2

Law B

4

4

0

0

8

12

3

Arse’Alona

4

3

0

1

4

9

4

Pharm AC

4

2

0

2

-3

6

5

Boca Seniors

4

1

1

2

-6

4

6

Chem Soc

4

1

0

3

-3

3

7

H. Dragons

4

0

1

3

-6

1

8

Butthead FC

4

0

0

4

-11

0

P

W

IMG Football

Division Two D

L

Diff

Pts

1

C. Crusaders

4

3

1

0

6

10

2

Economics

4

3

1

0

5

10

3

Psycho Ath.

4

2

1

1

2

7

4

JOMEC

4

2

1

1

0

7

5

Inter Me-Nan

4

1

1

2

0

4

6

J-Unit

4

1

1

1

-2

4

7

Socsi

4

1

0

3

-5

3

8

Real Ale Madrid

4

0

0

4

-6

0

P

W

IMG Football

Division Three D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Japsoc

4

3

1

0

7

10

2

TWNN

4

3

0

1

5

9

3

English Soc

4

2

0

2

1

6

4

Uni Hallstars

4

1

2

1

5

5

5

Park Rangers

4

1

2

1

1

5

6

Esplanyol

4

1

2

1

0

5

7

Myg Myg

4

1

1

2

-2

4

8

Euros

4

0

0

4

-17

0

Psycho stunned IMG Football: Division 2 Psycho 0- 2 Inter Me-Nan PSYCHO ATHLETICO suffered their first Division Two defeat against Inter MeNan last Wednesday.

Inter got off to a perfect start when they opened the scoring after just three minutes.

Captain Jack Chauveau scored an audacious lob to give his side a 1-0 lead.

The early goal settled Inter and they began to pass the ball with confidence. Wingers Spoelstra and McKerrell looked dangerous but Inter failed to create any clear-cut chances.

The Psycho team looked out-of-sorts and were not allowed any time on the ball from the battling Inter midfield.

Shots on goal were few and far between but Inter continued to look dangerous from set pieces and Parkinson’s free kick went just over the Psycho bar.

Both sides changed personnel for the second half, and it was Psycho who started the brighter of the two teams.

However the Inter back line looked comfortable with the competent Grove and Edwards tidying up Psycho through-balls.

Inter Me-Nan continued to look dangerous on the break, with Chauveau and Osbourne winning the aerial battle over Clapworthy and Lyons.

And with 20 minutes left, substitute Nick Davies sealed the points for Inter when he found the net with a deflected shot from outside the penalty area.

Psycho have now slipped to third while Inter have moved up to fifth in the table.

gairrhydd

SPORT

MARCH.19.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Cardiff Deloitte IMG Breakfast score History continue winning streak hat-trick IMG Football: Premiership MOMED 1 - 4 AFC History

IIMG Rugby

AFC HISTORY climbed to second in the Premiership table with a comfortable win over MOMED. After recording their third consecutive victory, title-chasing History are now three points behind league leaders Gym Gym. MOMED started the match strongly and soon took control of proceedings. But they failed to create any clear-cut chances despite applying more pressure.

And MOMED paid the ultimate price. History soon took the lead

Results 24 57 12 32

-

14 MASTS 7 Planning 0 Planning 26 CARBS B

For any information about IMG Rugby, please see Martyn Fowler.

Please note: The league table below might be inaccurate.

Please email us any results which you think are missing. Thank you.

IMG Rugby

fired home the rebound.

But History emerged as the better side in the seond half and some great attacking play led to their third goal.

Adam Hutchings made the score 3-1 when he drove the ball home from close range.

Although both teams fought bravely and created chances in the following passage of play, it was History who scored the next crucial goal.

Hutchings slotted the ball into an empty net to seal the points for a History side who have only lost one game this season. But they need leaders Gym Gym to drop points to stand any chance of claiming the title.

16/3/07 P

W

D

L

Diff

Pts

1

Engin

4

4

0

0

114

12

2

Stoma

5

3

1

1

45

10

3

SAWSA

5

3

0

2

-36

9

4

CARBS A

3

2

0

1

32

6

5

Pharmacy

2

2

0

2

19

6

6

Medics

5

2

0

3

14

6

7

Law

1

1

0

0

7

3

8

MASTS

4

1

0

3

-29

3

9

CARBS B

5

1

0

4

-40

1

10

Planning

3

0

0

3

-126

0

PHOTO: Rob Taylor

Engin Stoma SAWSA Medics

when Richard Morgan slotted the ball home from a set-piece.

The game restarted with more MOMED pressure. As MOMED continued to press forward, winger James Bannister looked threatening on the right-hand side. However, they could not turn their possession into an equaliser.

History soon went 2-0 up after a poor cross-field pass was intercepted

by Adam Weatherley, who found the net with aplomb.

But MOMED finally pulled a goal back just before half-time. When Jon Doveys’ fantastic shot was parried by the History goalkeeper, Nick Bryant

DANGER: Is a goal coming?

English thwarted by resilient Rangers

DEFIANCE: Rangers clear the ball

PHOTO: Jameson Kergozou

Pete Dean IMG Reporter

Dragons and Boca draw IMG Football: Division 1 Boca 4 - 4 H. Dragons HAVANA DRAGONS scored in the closing stages to snatch a point after blowing a 3-1 lead against Boca last Sunday.

An action-packed first half started with a goal from Dragons’ James Oakley when a blistering 30-yard strike took a fortunate deflection to beat the keeper.

However Boca fought back immediately and equalised when a corner was headed into his own net by Mike Pomfrett.

The game continued at a searing pace with Cowan and Weinel giving the Dragons a 3-1 advantage at the break. Unfortunate injuries to Dragons captain Labana and influen-

tial playmaker Hall at the start of the second half sprung Boca into life and they hit the Dragons hard with two quick goals.

The second goal was slightly controversial with the referee choosing to play an advantage when Havana striker Weinel was mauled to the ground in what looked to be a clear foul.

But Boca dominated and took the lead spectacularly to complete a magnificent comeback and establish a 4-3 lead.

However the Dragons grabbed a lst-gasp equaliser. A delightful cross from Dave Hall was met by Chris Bargery, who levelled the match.

The goal seemed to spur on the Dragons and they looked the most likely to snatch a goal at the death, particularly through the striking instincts of Steve Evans.

IMG Football: Division 3 English 1 - 3 P. Rangers PARK RANGERS recorded their first win of the season and all but ended the Division Three title hopes of English Society.

After suffering this defeat, English are now four points behind leaders Japsoc with three games left.

To stand any chance of winning the league, English must win all of their remaining matches and hope Japsoc slip up.

Meanwhile, Park Rangers moved up to fifth in the table following this victory. In a game which typified the excitement and commitment of IMG football, Rangers were more clinical in front of goal.

The first half was dominated by English Society who, with the confidence of successive victories behind them, played attractive passing football.

A penalty calmly converted by Adam Chapman midway through the half gave English a well deserved 1-0 lead.

As English continued to press forward, striker Sam Ingham repeatedly found space down the wings and created numerous chances which were squandered by the English attack.

While obtaining seven corners in the first half, English failed to convert any of them into goals. David Walters came closest with a header which

cleared the bar by a matter of inches.

Park Rangers came out with renewed vigour in the second half.

They reduced the space given to the English midfield and started to mount attacks of their own.

A counter-attack down the left wing gave them a corner from which they equalised. An unmarked Alex Brooks headed home with aplomb, catching the English defence off guard. This breakthrough ensured a tense final half hour.

In response, English attacked with a sense of urgency in a bid to restore their lead. Both David Noblett and Pete Dean had efforts cleared off the line by the stoic Rangers’ defence.

When a dubiously awarded penalty was well saved by Rangers goalkeeper, Ashley Dyer, English and their supporters were left deflated.

As both sides searched for a winner, the match became increasingly stretched.

But it was Rangers who broke the deadlock. A lofted free-kick found its way through to Brooks, who struck a powerful volley which evaded the despairing dive of English goalkeeper, Dave Menon.

And seconds later, Brooks sealed the points for Rangers. The striker completed a hat-trick from the spot with ten minutes left.

But despite being two goals down, English continued to pile on the pressure. Yet the Rangers defence, led by Luke Elstone, stood firm and parked the proverbial bus in front of their goal.

On Sunday, Rangers play TWNN while English meet Uni Hallstars.

Claire Moseley IMG Reporter

IMG Netball Cup: Round 2 THREE Cardiff sides reached the last eight of the Netball Cup this week after they all recorded victories.

Cardiff A beat Pharmacy A 24-3, while Cardiff B secured their passage to the quarter-finals with a comfortable 21-5 win over Pharmacy B. In addition, IWC A defeated Medics 18-10.

Surprisingly, all the Cardiff teams avoided one another in the quarter-final draw, with matches taking place this week. Cardiff B meet Premiership champions Law A, while IWC A play against CARBS A. The most comprehensive win of the three was achieved by Cardiff A, who face Locomotive Engin in the next round. Cardiff fell behind early on when Alison Levine gave Pharmacy A the lead. However, Cardiff responded well to this setback and raised their level of performance.

As a crowd gathered to watch, the Cardiff passing became increasingly fluent. Cardiff A shooters, Lowri Harry and Lucy Banks, began to cause problems for the Pharmacy defence and score an abundance of goals.

While Pharmacy managed to squeeze in one further goal before half-time, the score stood at 12-2 to Cardiff A. In the second half, Pharmacy noticeably picked up their game, especially in defence. A taller goalkeeper was brought in to stifle the Cardiff onslaught, while the Pharmacy wing-defence doubled her impressive efforts.

The Cardiff defence also had to work harder to combat a more determined and energetic Pharmacy strike force. But an alert Weeks and the powerful presence of Moseley prevented Pharmacy from clawing their way back into proceedings.

And with numerous interceptions from Cardiff centre, Lara Van Eijkern, and accurate shooting, Cardiff A finally broke Pharmacy’s spirit with a 24-3 win.

PHOTO: Rob Taylor

The

41

BATTLE: For the ball

42 gairrhydd

SPORT

MARCH.19.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Dave Menon speaks to Cardiff student and military skiing champion Alex Hodge about her tough route to glory, and finds out how she unwinds at Uni

Snow Queen

SKIING IS certainly not a sport for the faint-hearted. Although it's an enthralling adventure sport, it takes years of practice to master.

Picture the scene. Take a deep breath and imagine skiing gracefully down a bendy slope in freezing conditions.

Now take another breath. On this occasion, imagine yourself skiing uphill for 25km.

While attempting this gruelling task, you're also expected to carry weapons and weights.

And if that isn't enough, you've got to shoot at targets on the move with a rifle.

Hard work? For most of us, the answer is almost certainly yes. But Alex Lodge, a second-year Cardiff student and Territorial Army soldier, is an exception to the rule.

Remarkably, Alex has recently won five gold medals after taking part in one of the world's toughest military ski competitions.

The History and Politics student competed in Exercise Spartan Hike, the Land Command military ski championships at French resort, Serre Chevalier. And she took some time out of her busy schedule to speak to gair rhydd.

MENON: How did you become interested in uphill skiing?

LODGE: On my gap year the army offered me the opportunity to travel, meet new people and enjoy new experiences.

I took the plunge at Sandhurst for five weeks and not having done anything army before, got sent to an engineering troop in Germany. They basically forced me to go uphill skiing, this was about two years ago now. I was desperate to go downhilling because it's a more enjoyable sport.

I loved downhill skiing since the age of seven but I'd never done uphill skiing before joining the army.

It must have taken an awful lot of training to do something like that.

I soon got sent to a camp in Sweden for a month. We did hard-core training every day from 9 - 4 with only one day off a week - it was mad.

We had two massive training sessions covering 30km a day - it was hard work but a really good challenge.

We competed for the army during a third of my first year and in my gap year, and did really well for a novice team.

And then after my gap year I joined the OTC [Officers Training Corps] at Uni and joined the TA [Territorial Army]. I was lucky in my first year to do the month's camp.

In the last few years, our team has literally gone out and trained for a couple of weeks before a competition.

How is uphill skiing a much more difficult and demanding discipline?

Uphill skiing is much more enduring; you wear lycra which proves how much you're working because you're

Uphill Skiing: Leisure sweating so much.

In that colder climate you should be wrapped up really warm but you're just wearing one thin layer to race in.

Races range from 5km and the longest race is a patrol race.

In this event you wear white lycra and have to carry weapons and weights - it's about 25km in total. It takes a lot longer going up a hill.

It's a bit mad, but once you're there you get into it.

your degree with competing in these competitions?

Do you play any other sports and how is uphill skiing entirely different?

The patrol race gold medal meant the most to me because it was the longest and hardest.

I was really nervous and it was a relay so I didn't want to let anybody down. I worked really hard for it during the race and I absolutely slogged my guts out.

We won and also beat our boys' team which was a really good achievement. We also beat loads of regular teams. We're a TA Unit and we only get to train for two weeks whereas most regular teams train for a month prior to coming.

It was a massive achievement to win. It's a very prestigious race and everybody wants to win it.

I play lacrosse for Cardiff Ladies and a bit of IMG Netball but it doesn't prepare you for the altitude and endurance of it all so you have to build it up over time.

When you get there, you are getting up and going for a run, having a big porridge breakfast, ski in the morning for a few hours, covering about 10km, a big lunch, sleep for two hours, get up and go training again. It's very intense.

What is your favourite resort to go uphill skiing?

Serre Chevalier is my favourite resort for Nordic [uphill] skiing. It's really picturesque, the hills are very demanding but it's the sunniest valley in whole of France with 359 days of sun per year.

How do you manage to balance

This year I've had to take a lot of books out there with me and write essays. I was trying to do a bit of work while I was out there, but it's not easy.

I really enjoy my degree though.

Although you won five gold medals, which one meant the most to you?

Did you expect to win many gold medals in this year's competition?

The pressure was off us this year to win medals because we didn't have as much training and won everything the year before.

We just wanted to enjoy it and work

as hard as we could. It came as a nice surprise to win those medals; I think we're all quite competitive.

Did you suffer any major setbacks in the build-up to the competition?

There was a pretty massive setback with the lack of snow at one stage. We need to train on snow to be able to race on snow so initially we didn't train hard.

But when the competition started we felt pretty confident after the first race.

Where do you often go for a good night out in Cardiff?

I'm a union girl actually. I'm at Rubber Duck and Come Play quite frequently.

I was at the Beer Festival recently and didn’t make it into the Duck unfortunately. I like Pimms and cocktails, things like that.

What's next on the agenda for you after graduation?

I don't actually want to go into the army, I’d quite like to go into the Foreign Office and keep travelling. I'd quite like to go to India, I lived there for a year or so when I was younger and have forgotten it.

I'd love to see the Taj Mahal and spend at least a couple of months there.

comment Jon Berridge heaps praise on the Azzuri’s rugby stars as they breakthrough in the Six Nations

Italy: Only Use A Wooden Spoon For Cooking Now

WALES WERE unfortunate to be at the receiving end of a miscommunication between the officials in the recent Italian match, but the Italians were worthy winners at Stadio di Flaminio, and their rise in the Six Nations is certainly not fortuitous or a freak occurrence.

For most of the match, the Italians dominated both possession and territory and also had an early try disallowed, albeit correctly.

Their second consecutive win represents not necessarily the coming of Italian rugby, but it should be the start of an era where they can look to push up the Six Nations table each year.

In recent times, whenever one of the so-called lesser nations starts to win matches - for example the Welsh

Grand Slam of 2005 and Scotland in 2006 - their successes have been in some quarters attributed to the tournament being weak in that particular year.

It's almost as if England and France believe they have a divine right to win every match.

The spine of the Italian team play rugby for some of the best teams in Europe: Sergio Parisse, Mauro and Mirco Bergamasco play for Stade Francais, Carlos Nieto and Marco Bortolami ply their trade at Gloucester and Martin Castrogiovanni is a Leicester Tigers player.

These players would be pushing for places in all of the other Northern Hemisphere nations, and given the level most of the Italian players have

been reaching under coach Pierre Berbizier, that is not much of a surprise.

The way Italian rugby can progress further is to increase the pool of homebased players; the leading teams such as Trevisio and Calvisano struggle in the Heineken Cup with most of the top Italian players playing in France and England.

Berbizier cannot afford any of his top players succumbing to injury; a bigger pool of quality players is required.

Given the success of Italian rugby this year, and the scandals of Italian football, hopefully more youngsters will be picking up the oval ball and pretend to be a Bergamasco or an Alessandro Troncon.

gairrhydd

SPORT

MARCH.19.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

No Consolation MEDICS: Lost At Death Peter Evans Sports Reporter

CARDIFF MEDICS Men's First XI's BUSA Cup run came to an abrupt CARDIFF Medics 1sts . . . . . . .1 end after a late flurry from tenman Southampton Solent.

With the game delicately poised at SOUTHAMPTION SOLENT 1sts .2

Different Leagues Paul Hayes Hockey Reporter CARDIFF Men’s 1sts . . . . . . . .5 CITY OF BATH Men’s 1sts . . . .1 AFTER A difficult season in the BUSA Premier, the Men's Hockey 1st XI are back on the road to success.

Firstly, a seven game unbeaten streak saw Cardiff beat City of Bath 1st team 5 - 1 to seal promotion into the South Premier League One. This is their third promotion in as many years and puts them just one league off the National League.

Former 1st XI captain Duncan Courtney explained Cardiff's standing the structure of British hockey; “The National League consists of four divisions. Below that is the localised Premier One division which we will be competing in next season. It is the 'Conference' of hockey so a pretty good standard for a university team.”

Cardiff cruised past City of Bath, whose own promotion hopes were dashed by Cardiff's impressive postChristmas form.

Goals from Anthony Gough, Martyn White and Tom Nicholas all but sealed the game before the break.

The second half saw constant rotation within the Cardiff team utilising their 15-man squad. Despite these positional changes Cardiff never looked in doubt of winning the points.

Paul Hayes grabbed the fourth before White scored an individual fifth in the final few minutes.

The recent form comes just three weeks before Cardiff compete in the European Cup Winners Cup in Malta.

Vice-Captain Ian Ferguson is excited about the chance of playing in European competition and is confident of their chances.

He said; “We are really pleased with the recent form. It was fantastic to win promotion on Saturday. The boys have worked hard and deserve it. Now we have to start again; and focus on Europe. Confidence is high and everyone is raring to go”.

However, before travelling to Malta, Cardiff have a tricky tie with Glamorgan in the Welsh Universities ‘Cup semi-final next week in their quest to retain their crown.

Ladies fall at first hurdle Angharad Jones Rugby Reporter MARJONS Ladies’ 1sts . . . . . .36 CARDIFF Ladies’ 1sts . . . . . . . .0

43

CARDIFF LADIES' Rugby team suffered their first defeat of the year in the opening round of the BUSA Cup knockouts.

The Marjons side, who came second in the BUSA Southern Premiership, proved too strong for the travelling Cardiff team who were hop-

0 - 0 and extra time on the cards, Solent hit two quick fire goals in a frantic final five minutes to stun the Medics.

Cardiff's last minute reply was not enough as the visitors squeezed through to the semi-finals.

The tie was played at a fast tempo and it didn't take long for the impressive Medics 'keeper Dave Harvey to be called into action. He made two good saves before having Crawford Deane to thank for keeping the opposition at bay with a smart tackle.

Both sides had extended spells of possession and the Cardiff captain Ben Mansall came close when his flick just cleared the crossbar after a fantastic through ball by his on-form midfield partner Rich Hesketh.

The Medics were constantly pressuring the opposition and gave them very little space with Tom Sedden and Rob Grounds in particular performing admirably.

The pair put in hardworking and quality performances, with Sedden persistently breaking up attacks and Grounds winning countless short corners for his side.

The Solent attack found Harvey in their way, once again matching whatever they could throw at him The whole team played some brilliant hockey and the slick passing continued into the second half with patches of exciting hockey, which just couldn't be rewarded with a goal.

Tom Cromarty was very unlucky not to score as the second half wore on; his shot hit the side netting after a well-worked short corner routine.

It then looked as if the Medics had a perfect chance to push on for the win as Southampton were reduced to ten men after a yellow card for dissent to the officials. But instead it was the visiting team who drove forward looking for the killer goal.

The Solent attack found Harvey in their way, once again matching whatever they could throw at him including a fine one-on-one save as the striker looked to round him.

Then, with a few minutes to go, the south coast outfit delivered a sucker punch; a smart turn and finish inside the box leaving Harvey motionless to put the Medics a goal down.

Things got worse with five minutes to go, when a short corner routine led to an easy tap-in for the Solent striker, much to the delight of his teammates.

Cardiff threw everyone forward and it paid off when they grabbed a late consolation goal, with skipper Mansall finishing off a simple short corner routine to make it 2 - 1, but it was too late for the fairytale comeback.

The Medics can count themselves unlucky, with some of the squad putting in fantastic displays, and they’ll be looking to bounce back in their crucial title run-in in the coming weeks.

Left behind by Lough Men’s Rugby 1sts get off to a poor start in the BUSA Cup, as Loughborough put on a late surge to win Loughborough made some changes at the break and started the CARDIFF Men’s 1sts . . . . . . .23 second half well scoring two tries without reply to stretch out a lead.

With the loss of their first choice CARDIFF’S RUGBY Men's firsts battled well and kept pace with hooker, the Cardiff line-out strugan excellent Loughborough side gled and for large periods of time in the BUSA Cup, but conceded the visitors backline was starved of tries late on in a 42 - 23 defeat. possession.

When it looked like It was great start to the game for the visitors as captain and hooker Loughborough were going to pull Aaron Fowler finished off a power- away, Cardiff hit back with two ful move by the Cardiff team, tries of their own - the first from the allowing Fowler to score in the cor- very busy scrum-half Tom Powell ,and the second from stand in skipner.

The try came at a heavy price per Geoff Hobbs.

At this stage, the Welsh outfit though, as Fowler had to be replaced due to an ankle injury he where within one score from Loughborough and looked capable sustained while scoring the try.

Cardiff were rewarded for their of pulling off a surprise victory as possession 10 minutes later, when they enjoyed some great spells of sustained pressure on the running rugby.

However, in front of a huge parLoughborough try-line resulted in a penalty which Jack Beaman suc- tisan crowd, the Loughborough cessfully kicked, bringing the score team pulled away scoring another to 10 - 3 in favour of the Welsh two tries to take the game beyond team with 40 minutes on the clock. Cardiff's grasp.

Naturally disappointed with the However, in the last play of the half, Cardiff lost concentration and result, the Cardiff team can take let in a soft try to take the half time solace from the fact that for 70 percent of the game they were by a score to 10 - 10.

LOUGHBOROUGH Men’s 1sts .42

ing to uphold their undefeated status.

The game started well for Cardiff, who enjoyed the majority of possession and territory.

Winger Roz Lambe made a number of breaks but the Marjons defence was solid and Cardiff failed to capitalise on their early domination.

The home team found their form with their fullback soon crossing for the first try of the day.

Strong defensive work and excel-

lent kicking by Captain Simone Shepherd kept Cardiff in the game and the score going into half time was 12 0.

After the interval, Cardiff remained optimistic but their lack of recent match practice soon showed as the superior fitness of Marjons allowed them to continue working the scoreboard.

Despite the heavy score line, Cardiff showed a positive display of

large margin the better team, while absent first team players Matt Hopper, Jon Hill, Jon Walder and Sean Price could have proved the difference between winning and losing this game.

The Loughborough squad contained no less than 16 students who have played at national representative level this season.

In light of the fact that all of the Premiership A teams enjoy comparable facilities and coaching teams great credit must be given to the first team for maintaining their Premiership status and in many cases outplaying far superior University rugby squads.

The playing strength of the teams in BUSA Premier are not to be underestimated by anyone, many if not all contain numerous international, professional and semi professional rugby players.

Therefore the first team can be extremely proud that they have managed to perform so well in the company of some of the best sporting and red brick universities in the country this season.

rugby and were unlucky not to get onto the score sheet.

The game has given Cardiff a taste of the tough competition they will hopefully face next season if they gain promotion into the Premiership, and has proved a valuable learning experience.

They now look forward to taking on Bath next week in their quest for promotion.

Sport gairrhydd

page 46

Sport chat to University uphill skiing champ Sickening Drop KOs Medics

EXETER Ladies’ 1sts 2 CARDIFF Ladies’ 1sts 2 *Cardiff win 3 - 2 AET

Jack Zorab Sports Reporter WORCESTER Men’s 1sts . . . .23 CARDIFF Medics’ 1sts . . . . . .20

PHOTO: JAMES PEROU

FINAL FLOURISH Ladies through to BUSA Cup Final after extra time winner

Alex Joannides Football Reporter

HOLDERS CARDIFF took their place in the BUSA Cup final after a dramatic late extra time winner from Alex Joannides, as the first XI defeated Exeter 3 - 2.

Cardiff knew it would be a tough semi-final draw against Exeter, but they had gained favourable results over them in previous encounters which they drew upon in the build-up.

However, a lack of concentration in the Cardiff defence gave Exeter their first goal just five minutes into the game, immediately putting last year's Cup winners under pressure.

Cardiff formed some great passing movements through midfield and 20

minutes later were back on level terms as midfielder Zahra Chatur latched onto a cross and headed into the back of the net.

This gave Cardiff confidence to keep fighting, but in a flowing move upfield which baffled the visitors, Exeter regained their lead and went in at half-time 2 - 1 in front.

Cardiff went out in the second half intending to create more chances and fight back into the tie. This new surge swiftly paid off as Aileen Griffin beat her defender and slotted home after Jen Fildes put a great ball into the box.

Midfielders Emma Jones and Chatur worked tirelessly in the middle of the park in creating many chances, but each time the magnificent Exeter 'keeper was in the way.

Cardiff goalie Ruth Smith kept the

game even, making some great saves of her own, despite having a stomach muscle injury.

Indeed, the Cardiff defensive line were strong as always and prevented Exeter from breaking through on several occasions.

As the match drifted into extra time, Cardiff had to step up their game and maintain their fitness levels to stand a chance of progressing to the final.

Five minutes into the added period, Exeter had an effort that just went over the top of the goal, which served as a wake-up call for Cardiff, who quickly reasserted themselves after a slack period of play.

The Welsh side, and Chatur in particular, fashioned many chances; she made some excellent runs through the Exeter defence, but no finishing touch

was applied.

The second half came and Cardiff pressed forward urgently, desperately trying to create something special in order to avoid penalties.

The moment of magic came just three minutes from the end, as Jones crossed the ball perfectly over the Exeter defence to find striker Alex Joannides, who controlled the ball well and beat the 'keeper to snatch a winner at the death.

It was a deserved victory for the Cardiff side, who hung in well to claim the extra time win.

Having won the BUSA Cup last year, the possibility of defending their title can only be foiled by the University of Manchester, who will provide a tough challenge in the final at the end of March.

FOUR DAYS after reaching the final of the NAMS cup, the Medics were on the road and the cup trail again.

Standing in their way was Worcester, a side who has chalked up wins against Loughborough and Cardiff University this season, and had earnt a reputation as being among the finest scrummagers in University rugby. The Medics, however, rose to the task manfully.

A bone-shaking tackle on Cardiff's fullback Dafydd Evans early on showed Worcester's intentions of physically dominating Cardiff.

Sion Crabtree, however, had other ideas and picked his way though Worcester's defence with a triple sidestep. After that, Cardiff looked threatening every time their backs got the ball, thanks to scrum half Richard Knight being given an armchair ride by his pack. A penalty, kicked by Crabtree, was the Medics’ reward for a lively opening.

An injury to Emil Hodzovic soon after allowed Worcester to gain the upper hand in the set pieces, and the Medics had to live off scrum scraps for the remainder of the half.

Openside Endaf Morgan and Lewis Meecham more than made up for it with a series of turnovers in the opposition half, two of which resulted in classic tries for Evans and Crabtree. Just before half time, Worcester fashioned a try of their own through their Number 8 diving over from one yard.

Worcester continued to edge back into the game in the second half, despite Cardiff lacerating their defence on almost every attack.

They gained a penalty and a try to put them two points behind.

Cardiff sprang back into action and started to achieve parity in the scrums and good ball from Cleand at the lineout. Hard running from Carter and Rhys Phillips sucked in Worcester's defence, allowing Gough to make a harrowing run and feed Harris and then Price-Smith for the try of the match.

Worcester hit back immediately and levelled the score with a touchline conversion. 20 - 20 and anyone's game, it was stalemate for the last five minutes until Worcester's scrum-half landed a long range drop-goal to send the Medics crashing out of the Cup in gut-wrenching style.

GAIR RHYDD AND QUENCH MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF UNIVERSITY RENNISON: “WHAT ARE FISHY EXTREMITIES?” NO JAFFA CAKES: DISASTER FOR PROOFREADERS SOPH GIVES ED’S NIPS A RUB PEROU: JUST A PRETTY FACE? KATIE: “ME AND MENON JUST HAD A SESH” PERRI TRIES TO ‘OUTSEX’ GIRLS AT DUCK MENON GETS EXCITED OVER MONKEYS GP TRIPS OVER EMPTY PIZZA BOXES IN THE OFFICE - INJURYLAWYERS.CO.UK GRACE POSES FOR ANDY IN TITANIC MOCK-UP ED & ANDY = DICK & DOM YOUR AD HERE - CONTACT GEORGIE P

28 gairrhydd

MONDAY

MARCH.19.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

Mission Africa

Ideal

Never To Be Forgotten

My Crazy Life

Peppa Pig

BBC1 7.00pm

BBC2 10.00pm

ITV 11.00am

Channel 4 9.30am

Channel 5 8.15am

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don't Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Escape to the Country 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Cash in the Attic 1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Diagnosis Murder 3:20pm BBC News; Weather; Regional News 3:25pm CBBC:Maya and Miguel 3:45pm The Likeaballs 4:00pm Whizz Whizz Bang Bang 4:30pm The Slammer 5:00pm Best of Friends: Sports Relief Special 5:30pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours 6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm Mission Africa 7:30pm Holiday 2007 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Panorama 9:00pm Whistleblower 10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:35pm Sleep Clinic 11:05pm Cricket World Cup Highlights 12:05am Mr Majestyk 1:50am Sign Zone:Does Africa Need Ade...

Edmondson? 2:30am Sign Zone:Top Gear 3:30am Sign Zone:Gene Detectives 4:15am Joins BBC News 24 5:00am Cricket World Cup Highlights Man on team 1 hits ball with stick, ball goes a long way but is caught by another man on team 2. This causes mild excitement amongst the audience and the stick is passed on to the next man from team 1. Gosh cricket is so exciting.

6:00am CBeebies:Fimbles 6:20am The Story Makers 6:35am Balamory 7:00am CBBC:Astro Boy 7:25am Newsround 7:30am Even Stevens 7:50am Batfink 8:00am The Cramp Twins 8:15am ChuckleVision 8:30am CBeebies:Come Outside 8:45am Underground Ernie 9:00am Boogie Beebies 9:15am Higgledy House 9:30am Big Cook Little Cook 9:50am Doodle Do 10:10am Bill and Ben 10:20am Charlie and Lola 10:30am Schools:Watch 10:45am Words and Pictures 11:00am Maths Challenge 11:15am Maths Challenge 11:30am Shakespeare: The Animated Tales 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch 1:00pm Schools:What?

Where? When? Why? 1:15pm Something Special 1:30pm Animal Park 2:15pm Escape to the Country 3:15pm Sudo-Q 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook 5:15pm The Weakest Link 6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm A Taste of My Life 7:00pm You Tube It! Actually do, Youtube kills television everytime.

7:30pm Nation on Film: Selling Cars 8:00pm University Challenge 8:30pm Return to Lullingstone Castle 9:00pm Anatomy of a Crime 10:00pm Ideal 10:30pm Newsnight 11:20pm Iraq Week: Last Flight to Kuwait 12:50am Tribes of the Amazon 1:20am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am BBC Learning Zone: Languages and Travel:Deutsch Plus 17-20

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women 1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News; Weather 2:00pm Midsomer Murders 3:00pm Daily Cooks 4:00pm Poirot 5:00pm Soapstar Superchef 6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News; Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Mobile 10:30pm ITV News; Weather 11:00pm Never to be Forgotten 11:30pm Border Wars: Tonight 12:00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 12:30am ITV Play: Glitterball 4:05am ITV at Reading 2005 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News It seems lists are going to be popular with TV Desk this week, so let’s run through some of the worst crisps of all time. 1) Space Raiders 2) Roysters 3) Salt and Shake (seriously where is the fun?) 4) Squares 5) Wheat Crunchies. Apparantly I love crisps so much that I can only name 5 bad types, so let’s celebrate some of the best. 1) Pom Bears 2) McCoys 3) Kettle Chips 4) Monster Munch 5) Wotsits (so worth the cheesy fingers) 6) Pringles 7) Chipsticks 8) Doritos 9) Hula Hoops 10) Onion Rings. This might seem like a trivial debate, but you have no idea about the time spent arguing over order.

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me 9:00am Frasier 9:30am My Crazy Life 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Don't Make Me Angry 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Saboteur 2:25pm A Place in the Sun 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: City of Cranes 8:00pm Dispatches: When Did You Last Beat Your Wife?

9:00pm Animal Farm 10:00pm ER 11:05pm The Sopranos 12:15am 4 Music:Live from Abbey Road 1:20am World Cup Skiing 3:10am Postmodern Pastimes 3:25am The Insider: Unmarried Parents Scandal 3:50am 3 Minute Wonder: War Torn 4:00am Lisa Looks Back 4:15am When the Romans Came to Wales Does anybody remember Mateys bubble bath? I’ve done some research on the internet and here’s what I found out about it. 1) Dermatologically tested 2) Kind to sensitive skin. 3) Added moisturisers from sea weed extracts.

4) PH balanced. 5) Mild and Gentle. To be honest I’m not sure the last one is actually a fact, but let’s be honest the internet doesn’t lie.

6:00am Tickle, Patch and Friends This programme should be Popeye. 6:25am Old Bear Stories This programme should be Popeye. 6:35am Bird Bath This programme should be Popeye.

6:45am Hi-5 This programme should be Popeye. 7:20am The Beeps This programme should be Popeye. 7:30am Little Princess This programme should be Popeye. 7:45am Make Way for Noddy This programme should be Popeye. 8:00am Fifi and the Flowertots This programme should be Popeye.

8:15am Peppa Pig This programme should be Popeye. 8:20am Thomas; Friends This Programme should be Popeye. 8:35am Funky Valley 8:40am Titch 8:50am Mio Mao 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm The Diet Doctors: Inside and Out 1:30pm Russell Grant's Postcards 1:40pm Perry Mason: The Case of the Sinister Spirit 3:40pm five news update 3:45pm Jane Doe: Till Death Do Us Part 5:30pm five news 6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Everybody Hates Chris 7:00pm five news 7:15pm The Gadget Show 8:00pm The Perfect Disaster: Super Tornado 9:00pm Ten Kids and Counting 10:00pm Prison Break 11:00pm Species II 12:40am USPGA Golf 1:30am NASCAR Nextel Cup 2:20am French Football 3:10am Now Is the Time: Night of Combat - Kick Boxing

7:00pm Castaway 8:00pm Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 8:30pm Help! My Dog's as Fat as Me 9:00pm Little Britain 9:30pm Tittybangbang2 10:00pm EastEnders 10:30pm Rush Hour 11:00pm Jonathan Ross's Japanorama 11:30pm American Dad 11:55pm American Dad 12:15am Castaway: The Last 24 Hours 12:45am Help! My Dog's as Fat as Me 1:15am Rush Hour 1:45am Jonathan Ross's Japanorama 2:15am Tittybangbang2 2:40am Sex, Lice and Videotape Top 5 supporting Disney characters are 1) Rafiki 2) The Genie 3) Sebastien the crab 4) Meeko 5) Lumiere the candlestick. Number 5 is a complete and utter farce, but TV Fran is determined to see it included. Yes, Abu from Aladdin missed out because of a fucking candlestick. I cannot put into words how angry this makes me, but if I didn’t do it she said that she’d keep referring to me as TV Lyle in the listings and none of us want that.

7:00pm The Extraordinary Equiano 8:00pm The World 8:30pm Wainwright's Walks 9:00pm Tales from the Front Room 10:00pm Tight Spot: The Lift 10:30pm Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy 11:15pm Wainwright's Walks 11:45pm Tales from the Front Room 12:45am Are We Having Fun Yet? 1:45am Wainwright's Walks 2:15am The Extraordinary Equiano 3:15am Tales from the Front Room Need to get the bus in 15 minutes, time for a quick whine? TV Marshall and TV Fran have left me in the office to go see LCD Soundsystem and this makes me very sad. Instead I’m going to be going home alone tonight, eating an awful ready meal followed by trying (and failing) to write my Textual Analysis essay before Friday’s deadline.

Oh look at me I’m so emo, my life sucks and everything is really really bad. Boo hoo. P.S This programme should be Popeye.

6:00am Fun Song Factory 6:10am Mopatop's Shop 6:25am Engie Benjy 6:35am Pocoyo 6:50am Fun Song Factory 7:00am Winx Club 7:25am Transformers Cybertron 7:55am Yu-GiOh! GX 8:25am Biker Mice from Mars 8:55am Sonic Underground 9:25am Coronation Street 9:55am Emmerdale 10:25am Emmerdale 10:55am The Oprah Winfrey Show 11:35am Judge Judy 12:00pm Coronation Street 12:30pm Emmerdale 1:00pm Emmerdale 1:30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 2:35pm The Ricki Lake Show 3:25pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5:15pm Airline USA 5:45pm Judge Judy 6:40pm Movies Now 6:50pm Dancing on Ice: The Final 8:10pm Dancing on Ice: The Final Skate Off 9:00pm Gone in Sixty Seconds 11:15pm Haunted Homes 12:15am Coronation Street

6:00am E4 Music: Uninterrupted 7:00am Daniel Craig's Anything but Vague 8:00am Monsters of New Music 9:00am Tunes You Love 10:00am Who Is the New? 11:00am Fresh Tracks 12:00pm Nothing but...

Future Females 1:00pm Daniel Craig's Anything but Vague 2:00pm Switched 2:30pm One Tree Hill 3:30pm Smallville: Superman the Early Years 4:30pm Hollyoaks 5:00pm Friends 5:30pm Friends 6:00pm Scrubs 6:30pm Scrubs 7:00pm Hollyoaks 7:30pm The War at Home 8:00pm Friends 8:30pm Friends 9:00pm Boys on the Side 11:10pm Abi Titmuss: A Modern Day Morality Tale 12:15am Scrubs 12:50am Scrubs 1:15am Smallville: Superman the Early Years 2:10am Abi Titmuss: A Modern Day Morality Tale 3:10am The War at Home 3:30am Desperate Housewives 4:10am One Tree Hill 4:55am Switched 5:15am Switched 5:35am Switched

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Friends 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Just Shoot Me 9:00am Frasier 9:30am My Crazy Life 10:00am That'll Teach 'Em 11:00am How To Dump Your Mates 11:30am Don't Make Me Angry 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Planed Plant Bach:Muffin the Mule 12:45pm Planed Plant Bach:Sali Mali 12:50pm Planed Plant Bach:Mr Men 1:00pm Planed Plant Bach:Ribidires 1:15pm Supporting Acts 1:25pm Deal or No Deal 2:15pm Countdown 3:00pm Wedi 3 4:00pm Planed Plant:Dennis a Dannedd 4:25pm Planed Plant:Campyfan 4:50pm Planed Plant:Ffeil 5:00pm Richard and Judy 6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Rownd a Rownd 7:00pm Wedi 7 7:30pm Newyddion 8:00pm Pobol y Cwm 8:25pm Ffermio 9:00pm Cefn Gwlad 9:30pm Crwydro 10:00pm Sgorio 11:05pm Y Clwb Rygbi 11:35pm Animal Farm

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