Gair Rhydd - Issue 850

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ISSUE 850 OCTOBER 15 2007 CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

NEWS/FEATURES/JOBS&MONEY/OPINION

INSIDE:

BLOOD, SICK AND TEARS

Your student lifestyle magazine

Disorder on the streets of Cathays after mass pub-crawl Samantha Shillabeer News Editor Cardiff University’s night of ‘Carnage’ lived up to its name last week as drunken students took to the streets after an evening of binge-drinking.

The organised pub-crawl, which took place last Tuesday, saw participants visit nine local bars before ending up in Solus.

But what was supposed to be a bit of fun was tarnished by students drinking on the streets, throwing up and being boisterous long into the night, disturbing residents of Cathays.

Incidents of fighting, shouting and girls crying on street corners were also

reported.

However, the chaos was kept under control at the Union thanks to the presence of extra staff and strict security.

Workers were briefed before the night began and doormen were instructed to refuse entry to anyone thought to have drunk too much. The closing of doors into Solus was also brought forward an hour, with no one being allowed in after 1am.

Keith Owen, Cardiff Students’ Union Bar Manager, said: “From our perspective, the night went without any problems. The fact that we had prepared for the event meant that we were able to control and limit the potential disorder.

“However, other businesses in the area were unaware of the enormity

of it and could not cope as well with such a high number of students. This is where the problems occurred; no one was watching how much people were drinking and students were not stopped from taking drinks with them when they left.

“This obviously paints the University and its students in a very negative light and throws the possibility of a repeat of the event into jeopardy. It has done nothing to help our reputation and also put students in danger due to excessive binge-drinking.”

Steve Marsh, joint organiser of ‘Carnage’ said: “We brought the event to Cardiff with the aim of bringing people together and giving the freshers a chance to get to know the area they will be living in for the next three years. In

PHOTO: Ed Salter

THIS ISSUE:

our opinion the event was a great success; everybody had fun and it brought so much business to local companies.”

But he added: “We understand that the night wasn’t without its problems and we are looking to address these for next time. We will ensure that we have greater correspondence with the pubs on the route so that we know they are fully prepared for the event and do our best to encourage students to drink sensibly. This is still a work in progress for us but we aim to ensure that students enjoy the night without disrupting any local residents or posing a threat to themselves.”

The event, organised by an external company, donated a percentage of its profits to Cardiff’s Raising and Giving Society (RAG). They were given ap-

stereophonics kate walsh the go! team dev hynes movie icons pandabird binge drinking breakfasting filthy amber celeb fashion film music books proximately £350 from their share of ticket sales and also managed to raise another £114 on the night through donations from students. The money is all being given to the Marie Curie charity in Penarth.

Toby Willis, RAG President, said: “For us, the event was a great success.

Everyone who took part seemed to be having fun and generally enjoying the night.”

These thoughts were echoed by Marian Hourican, a second-year Informations Systems student. She said: “It makes us all feel better that our drinking is raising money for charity too.”

To read more about the dangers of binge drinking see page 14 of Quench for a special feature.

SPORT/POLITICS/LONELY HEARTS/LISTINGS/GRAB/TELLY

02 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

NEWS

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

At a glance...

13

5 nominations

>>>

5 - Record turn-

Sport

The Millword

out at the Student Volunteering Fayre kicks off what hopes to be a great year for SVC

39

- Cardiff Rugby First lose their first game of the season by 63-3

13 - Are some

students turning to the sex industry to pay their way through university?

INSIDE QUENCH...

1,000

The Choice is yours

visitors to the SVC Fayre in the first hour

Hobson’s Cho ice The New The atre 2-6 October

F

irst performed in 1916, Hobson’s Choice is a sic of a deman time old classtruggles to deal ding father who demanding daugh with his even more ters.

The comedic elements of the are just so becau play ing in the post-V se of their groundictorian literary and cultural reality anyone who has ; after all, The Taming of ever seen the (Ten Things I Hate Shrew You) or King Lear About be familiar with will story of a tyrannthe but well meani ous ng father who prohib its the marriage of daughters, only his to be gazumped by them and made eat his words to .

In this incantation, Hobson (John Savident – or Fred Elliott in Corrie to you and me), a successful boot maker Manchester, makes in the fatal mistake of underestimating his eldest daugh-

20% decrease in student baked bean consumption

“

The third act reminded me of warnings you those get on the front of ciga packets: necessarette but largely inef ry fectual

ter Maggie (Caroly n Backhouse).

Undetermined, underappreciated unpaid for her and work, her way into marria Maggie coerces ge with the ed but worker William Mosso talentp Charles), with whom she sets (Dylan rival business up a to her father’s.

This

0

Number of Olympic medals Marion Jones now owns

News

48 / arts@gairr

BE R D ISPE AM N

STE SES FILTH /

REOPHONICS

INTE TEAM GET F REAK- AY RVIE WED / GO!

hydd.com

This week has art and even been a great week for Arts, a into the mix. banjo-playing gypsy quar with theatre, We also have tet thrown new feature, the first appe ‘I virgins... don’ have never...’ especially arance of our for all you Arts t worr y, we’ll be gentle. union crosses

the boundary of class and propriety and causes a rift in the Hobson family.

As third acts unfurl, the second and Maggie manag to teach her es father a lesson ar, range

the marriage and her two sisters settlement of and turn William from workman to businessman the process. in Behind this rather slapstick and banal plot sequence is, however, a more message about resonant gender, and the class and judgem ents and assumptions make based on people those two things.

This message is just as releva nt as it was when today Hobson’s Choice was performed nearly first years ago, and 100 a combi-

nation of good acting and atmos ic set design phermake bringing this play a good breast at to life. The chemistry between Maggie and William (Backhouse and Charles) was but even with the magnanimougreat, comic presen s ce production was of John Savident, the slow at times and felt a bit lengthy.

The third act, where Hobson is finally made to admit his wrong and accept Maggi e and William’s union, me of those warnin reminded get on the front gs you of cigarette packets: neces sary but largely ineffec tual.

Despite this fact, the performance as a was consistently whole taining and the enterscore in particular, compr some emotive ised of big-ba pieces, was fantas nd tic.

It may just be that the subtleties of this aged family comed y do not translate well onto the modern stage; whatever the case this slow-burning performance did still manage to make me smile – ‘Ahh say it made me smile’.

Amy Grier

Styles

3 student media

FAST FORWARD

ILLUSTRATION: Andrew

This week...

In numbers

44

12/ interviews@gairrhydd.com

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

NEWS

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Cardiff professor wins Nobel Prize Priya Rajyaguru Reporter Professor of mammalian genetics, Sir Martin Evans, has been awarded the prestigious 2007 Nobel Prize for Medicine recognising his work on stem cells.

Sir Martin has been named ‘the father of stem cell research’, after making his initial stem cell discovery some 20 years ago.

He has since identified and studied the embryonic stem cell and has now been honoured, together with two US researchers, ‘for discoveries of principles introducing specific gene modifications by use of embryonic stem cells’.

The prize, awarded by the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, is worth £755,000.

The professor, who graduated from Cambridge University in 1963, is renowned for accepting prizes from the world of academia.

In 2001 he was awarded the Lasker Award, considered by many as the

‘American Nobel’. Then in 2002 he received an honorary doctorate from the Mount Sinai school of medicine in New York before being knighted in 2003.

In a recent interview, Sir Martin described winning the Nobel as a “boyhood dream…like scoring a goal in the World Cup’.

He added: “You can’t imagine that these things are going to happen to you and you can’t really honestly even hope for it.

“I’m so pleased, not only for myself, for all my colleagues who’ve been involved in this and for the UK too.”

Leading the tributes, the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, said: “I want to congratulate Professor Sir Martin Evans on this marvellous achievement.

This is a proud day for Sir Martin, for Cardiff University and for the country.”

Professor Evans joins Dr Robert Huber, chemistry laureate of 1988, as Nobel winners currently at Cardiff University.

03

How to save a life Abigail Whittaker News Editor Students are being asked to become potential life savers by registering as bone marrow donors, with a clinic for Cardiff students coming up this Wednesday.

Cardiff Marrow is a charity which aims to recruit potential bone marrow donors specifically from the student population and they are holding their first clinic of the academic year on Wednesday October 17 at the Talybont Social from 2 till 6pm.

Named World Medical School Charity of the Year in 2006, Cardiff Marrow has signed up approximately 500 students to the register in the last five years and hopes to increase on this figure this year.

The process of registering takes under 15 minutes and requires only a small sample of blood; in any 10 year period on the register only one percent of people will actually be asked to donate because finding

SIR MARTIN: Science genius

a match is so difficult.

Cardiff Marrow Co-ordinator, Kathryn Sandford said: “There is a huge untapped resource of Cardiff students that have great misconceptions about bone marrow donation. Our aim is to raise awareness of the benefits of the life-saving changes of transplantation and to dismiss the myths of donation.”

Students can attend the marrow clinic to get any queries answered or obtain more information without being obliged to register. For further information you can also contact cardiffmarrow@hotmail. com.

Tiffany Dow Reporter

PHOTO: Rowena Vassallo

Students in Talybont South have complained about hundreds of Pharaoh ants infesting their flats.

Several students have now moved out of the ant-ridden House 21 while the insects, which are not native to Wales, continue to live among those who stayed put.

Within days of her arrival, Shelley Thompson, 29, noticed ants in her bed, kitchen and bathroom.

She soon learned the ants had spread throughout the building.

Thompson, a graduate student, complained and pest control immediately came with insecticide.

WAITING: For the bomb squad

She said nothing changed.

Through tears, Thompson explained the situation to Lee O’Brien, Assistant Residences Manager at Talybont Court.

In the meeting, O’Brien shared Thompson’s concern that the building was being used to house postgraduate students in the first place.

When questioned afterwards, O’Brien declined to comment.

Everyone in Thompson’s flat has received letters offering temporary housing while the ants are eradicated, but this offer has not been extended to all students in the building. Thompson has now made a permanent move to Column Road.

But Chen Chen, 23, is staying because he does not want the hassle of moving while trying to study.

He said pest control has sprayed twice in his flat, but he still finds ants in his bed and food.

Hong Ying, 30, said: “I would move if offered. I’d consider leaving campus.”

Karen Ringuette, 43, wrote a complaint to the house manager on September 29 and has not received a response.

According to Ringuette and Ying, what makes matters worse are sticky and smelly carpets and broken bathroom fans.

There are also stains and holes in bedroom post boards and scalding hot tap water.

Ringuette said: “Some of the Chinese here have spent two years salary to live here, I feel bad for them.”

Priya Rajyaguru Reporter

PHOTO: Ed Salter

Talybont residents plagued by unwanted houseguests

Union bomb scare evacuation Abigail Whittaker News Editor The Students’ Union was evacuated for approximately 45 minutes last Wednesday following a suspicious discovery on the third floor.

On finding what appeared to be a ‘granny trolley’ outside the Graduate Centre, which was regarded as seemingly out of place, the building was immediately evacuated as the police were contacted on Wednesday morning.

The suspect package was later found to be a trolley of books that had been left there by an international student.

After reviewing CCTV footage the Union discovered that an international

student had initially taken the books to Blackwells in order to sell them second-hand, but then left the remaining books outside the Graduate Centre.

Prior to the event the Union had been warned that with the current political climate extra vigilance was necessary, especially in a building frequented by a large amount of people in a major city.

Jonny Cox, Students’ Union President, said: “I think that the events of Wednesday show that we have a structure in place to deal with this kind of situation should anything happen again.

“Looking back it was dealt with smoothly and we think it was better to over-react than to under-react.”

04 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

NEWS

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Service without a smile

Gemma Batstone Reporter Cardiff’s shopping centre has plummeted in its standards of customer care, a recent poll has revealed.

A customer service research firm ranked staff according to friendliness, knowledge, and understanding

of customer needs but found that the general opinion tended to be that ‘a lot of assistants just stand around nattering’.

Although Cardiff was rated the best place in Wales to shop, it only came 54th overall in the British rankings.

According to a poll taken by shoppers nationwide, Welsh shop assistants have also been rated among the

least helpful.

Samantha Huntley, a third year Cardiff student, agreed with the findings.

She said: “In general, Cardiff’s shop assistants aren’t that helpful and seem really unhappy in their work. A lot of them can’t even be bothered to help when you ask them.”

But Jeni Fisher, an English Literature undergraduate, used to work as a

customer assistant in the city centre.

She said: “I wouldn’t blame shop assistants for a bad shopping experience. Instead, I think factors such as whether it’s a match day or not can affect it.

“Overall, I’m happy with shopping in Cardiff and I’m looking forward to the new shopping development,” she added.

And the nominees are...

Cardiff’s student media has made the shortlist at this year’s Student Radio Awards (SRA) and Guardian Media Awards.

The nominations, announced last week, saw student journalists tipped for the top from gair rhydd, Quench and Xpress Radio.

Quench grabbed a nomination for Student Magazine of the Year, while gair rhydd’s Helen Thompson is up for Student Diversity Writer of the Year.

Both categories will have their winners announced at London’s Guardian Media Awards ceremony this November.

Meanwhile Xpress Radio News has been shortlisted for the Best Journalistic Programming award at this year’s SRAs. Huw Thomas, Xpress News Editor for 2006/2007, said: “It’s a real honour to be in the final six.

It certainly proves what a talented team we had at Xpress last year, and how the whole station worked together to make sure Xpress News sounded great on air.

“We could never have achieved this without a massive effort from everyone involved,” he added.

What do you think of Cardiff’s shop assistants?

Anya Rakoczi asks Cardiff University students for their opinions...

“I find smaller, more local shops to be much more friendly, perhaps it makes a difference if the people who work there are full time or it is just a weekend job.

“But in general, people are never rude.”

“Compared to Swansea where I live, and Australia where I have just been travelling, they are not as friendly but people here are still happy to help.

“I think Cardiff shopkeepers are good considering we are in a busy capital city, but there is still room for improvement.”

“There is nothing exceptional about the shopkeepers here, they are neither particularly rude nor polite.

“You do have to ask if you want something done, but when you do they are generally nice.”

Rhian James, History Postgraduate

Abbie Evans, First year Law and Criminology

Gareth Thomas, Legal Practice Postgaduate

“I find people to be really very friendly, especially compared to other cities such as London.

“Everyone I’ve encountered is polite and friendly, I’ve had no bad experiences to tell of.”

Natalie Harris, First Year Chemistry

“Personally I find shopkeepers in Cardiff very friendly.

“In fact, it is in Cardiff that I have found my friendliest shopkeeper yet. He is always happy and has even sung to me on occasions!”

Dan Baskerville, 21, Third Year, Ancient History

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

05

NEWS

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Overwhelming popularity of SVC fayre Abigail Whittaker News Editor Following a record turnout at the student volunteering fayre, Student Volunteering Cardiff (SVC) is set for its most successful year to date with several projects in high demand.

In excess of 1,500 students attended the fayre, which was held in the Students’ Union Great Hall, and 1,000 of these potential volunteers passed through the doors within the first hour.

SVC said that the popularity of the event was a credit to the efforts of the staff, the Executive Committee and project co-ordinators involved.

Sam Smith, Chair of the SVC Executive Committee, said: “The fayre was one of the best turnouts we’ve ever had, everyone was really enthusiastic

and the hall was buzzing.”

With the aim of enhancing the lives of disadvantaged and vulnerable members of the community in Cardiff, SVC runs 36 different projects which range from education to homelessness and mental health.

Some of the projects have already proved so popular that the co-ordinators have recently had to stop accepting new applications; these include Weekenders, Discovery and Marie Curie Hospice Buddy Scheme.

However, there are still numerous projects with availability and anyone interested should visit the SVC Office on the third floor of the Union for more information.

Last Thursday SVC also organised a launch party at Incognito’s for all budding volunteers to get to know one another. This again was well received, setting the tone for the year to come.

Religious beliefs interfere with medical studies Sian Owens Reporter Many Muslim medical students are refusing to attend certain lectures that discuss issues deemed offensive to their religious beliefs, the British Medical Association has claimed.

They have confirmed that some students will not take part in certain aspects of the course including topics regarding treatment of sexually transmitted diseases and alcohol -related illnesses.

Reports also allege that some students are choosing to fail their degree rather than carry out a simple examination of a patient of the opposite sex or answer particular exam questions.

The next step is for the General Medical Council to decide whether students will be allowed to graduate even if they have not completed certain aspects of the curriculum.

However, this outcome is thought to be unlikely as both the Muslim Council of Britain and Muslim Dentist and Doctors Association do not support the behaviour of these students.

Dr Abdul Majid Katme, of the Islamic Medical Association, said: “To learn about alcohol, sexually transmitted disease and abortion gives us more evidence to campaign against it. There is a difference between learning and practising.

“It is obligatory for Muslim doctors and students to learn about everything.”

A first year Muslim medical student at Cardiff University said: “Everyone has their own right to their own beliefs by not treating someone with an alcohol or sex related illness.”

However, she added: “Islam teaches to help others, regardless of faith or belief and as a doctor, this is what I intend to do.”

VOLUNTEERS: Happy with turnout

UK universities waste international student talent Stacey Jeffreys Reporter Universities have recently come under scrutiny for ‘wasting’ the talents of international students.

According to reports from the Council for Industry and Higher Education (CIHE), Business Schools in particular are not making the most of the experiences and perspectives of Chinese students.

It was suggested that more group work should be incorporated into the curriculum and extra marks awarded to ‘multi-cultural’ teams.

Richard Brown, Chief Executive of the CIHE, believes that if overseas undergraduates participate in a more

internationally focused teaching programme it would create a ‘different type of student’ in comparison to those who work in an old-fashioned way.

Last week a CIHE conference held in London to discuss internationalising higher education called for universities to encourage all students to work together in the hope of developing more globally aware graduates.

In a bid to make graduates more attractive to prospective employers the CIHE wants to make UK students more in tune with various cultures and countries.

A survey, conducted by the International Graduate Insight Group, showed the main criticism of UK higher education from overseas students was the

lack of links with major international employers.

Mr Brown said: “International students don’t feel they have been given a sufficient leg up the ladder of employment, which suggests universities need to do more to link with international businesses.

“We need to get more employers working on campus and companies recruiting the brightest and best students that come to the UK.” He believes it would be a real opportunity for UK universities at undergraduate level to be the preferred worldwide location for all international students and postgraduates.

Eat now, pay later Emma Jones Reporter Baked beans were once a staple of the student diet, but figures show that the cheap and versatile snack is no longer as popular as it once was.

More advanced cooking skills and sophisticated food tastes have led to a 20% decrease in baked bean consumption amongst students over the past five years.

Now, in an attempt to get baked beans back on the menu, Branston has introduced a baked beans loan scheme.

Branston will deliver 24-tin cases to partaking students for every term of a three-year course.

Then, using a concept similar to the student loan, participants must pay back the £106 interest-free cost of the beans within their first year of paid employment.

Rob Stacey, Marketing Manager of Branston, said: “Baked beans are the perfect student food – nutritious, versatile and cheap. It would be a crying shame if beans were knocked off their perch as the student’s favourite grub.”

Students can apply by e-mailing branstonbeanloans@premierfoods. co.uk.

06 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

NEWS Indian student wins Cardiff Run by students scholarship on reality TV for students

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

Sian Owens Reporter

An Apprentice-style television show has awarded its winner with a Journalism, Film and Media scholarship at Cardiff University.

Ayushman Jamwal, an 18-year-old student from New Delhi, beat thousands of other applicants to win the reality programme Scholar Hunt: Destination UK by completing a series of tasks, having already met the requirements of the Cardiff degree scheme.

The tasks were co-devised by Dr John Jewell, Deputy Chair of the undergraduate board of studies at the

Biobank Cymru Rhodri Morgan, First Minister of the Welsh Assembly Government, has encouraged the Welsh people to sign up to a world-leading health project based at Cardiff University.

As a contribution to the UK Biobank project, Biobank Cymru is the Welsh clinic which aims to provide a long-term snapshot of the country’s health.

The assessment centre, where participation is voluntary and by invitation only, opened recently in Cardiff and is the first to do so in Wales.

Dr David Grant, Vice-Chancellor of Cardiff University, said: “As an international centre of medical research and education it is fitting that Cardiff University is participating in this multi-million pound visionary medical project to improve the health of future generations.”

In the pink

School of Journalism, Media and Cultural Studies, and included a question and answer session, a practical challenge and a televised interview.

The programme was broadcast on NDTV, which is the largest national English language channel in India.

Ayushman’s tuition fees and living expenses will be paid for by Cardiff University with the three-year scholarship.

He said: “It’s the chance of a lifetime and I’m really excited to be studying at Cardiff University.”

Dr John Jewell added: “Ayushman Jamwal is a very capable young man, a worthy winner of the competition and someone whom we are sure will be a

credit to the school of Journalism, Media and Cultural studies.”

Other universities involved in the competition were Sheffield, Leeds, Middlesex and Warwick who all offered scholarship places in different subjects.

Samantha Shillabeer News Editor Following the introductory meeting of Student Council last week, students are being urged to get involved with making the decisions that affect them.

Student Council debates and votes on issues which directly influence the running of the Union.

The first official meeting will

take place tomorrow (Tuesday 16 October) at 6.30pm in the Aneurin Bevan room on the 4th floor of the Students’ Union.

Johnny Cox, Students’ Union President, said: “This Union is run by students, for students; Student Council is the forum by which our student members can run and change their Union.”

He added: “It is important that our students understand they can really make a difference.”

Students warned of TV licensing fines Abigail Whittaker News Editor Failing to understand the rules of television licensing is leaving new students in Wales at risk of large fines, a survey compiled recently has claimed.

Conducted by TV Licensing Wales, the survey concluded that one in three students in Wales watch live television on their laptops, but 60% of these incorrectly believe that they do not need a licence to do so.

Many parents are also oblivious to the licensing rules, with a quarter of them unaware that students need their own licence to watch television in their own room in university halls of residence.

In addition, more than 10% of parents did not think that their children would get caught if they did not have

a licence.

Katrina Cinus, a spokeswoman for TV licensing, said: “This blasé attitude and lack of understanding could mean their children are not correctly licensed as they start the new term.

“They are running the risk of prosecution and a fine of up to £1,000.”

She added: “A hefty fine wouldn’t be the greatest start to university life, so we would like to remind parents and students of the legal obligations.”

A licence for colour television currently costs £135.50.

If you live in halls of residence and use a television in your own room, you need your own separate television licence.

Similarly, if you are sharing a student house but have separate tenancy agreements this usually indicates that you need to purchase a licence for separate bedrooms.

Corinne Rhoades News Editor Cardiff’s roads will be sporting pink taxi-cabs in support of Breast Cancer Awareness month.

Capital cabs’ black cars have gone pink for breast cancer, to raise awareness of the disease.

In alliance with Welsh cancer charity Tenovus, nine of the firm’s cars will stay pink for the whole of October.

Jo Gibbons, head of fundraising at Tenovus, said: “Across Wales we are asking people to ‘think pink’ this October – and Capital Cabs have certainly taken us at our word.”

The charity is also encouraging people to take part in activties which will help spread the message, from baking pink cakes to dressing down at work.

Sharyn Donnachie, from Capital Cabs, said: “We’re delighted to be helping raise awareness of such an important cause and hope the taxis will attract plenty of second glances on their way around the city.”

Education Denied Corinne Rhoades News Editor A Cardiff University religious society is campaigning for students’ rights after members of their faith have been denied education overseas.

Students of the Bahá’í society in Cardiff have launched a campaign to raise awareness of an Iranian ban on members of their faith attending university in the country.

Michelle Geiger, President of the society, claims there are no ‘clear or justifiable reasons’ why the students’ faiths have been targeted.

She said: “Bahá’ís believe that there is one God, that all humanity is one family, and that there is a fundamental unity underlying religion.”

But Iranian authorities will not admit students who refuse to deny their faith.

Now students in Cardiff have taken action to highlight this issue.

Michelle said: “Leaflets were distributed to interested students who visited the society stall at the Freshers’ Fayre.”

Students are also expected to be approaching academic staff with letters which voice their concerns.

Chris Evans (1950 - 2007) Christine Lorraine Evans, Cardiff University Students’ Union’s Student Democracy & Societies Coordinator.

Chris joined the Students’ Union in 1992 as part-time Secretary to the Administration Manager; in May 1993 she changed her duties to Personal Assistant to Heads of Section (Commercial Services). In June 1997, Chris became part-time PA to the General Secretary and in August 2000, her role expanded to PA to the General Secretary and Finance & Services Officer.

With the merger in September 2004, Chris’ job title changed to Sabbatical Administrator & Society Co-ordinator.

On August 1 2006; Chris was offered the position of Student Democracy & Societies Co-ordinator in the Students’ Union. Chris has guided the Students’ Union’s many officers and staff through elections processes for many years and supported our 130 societies consisting of over 7,000 members with dedication and conviction. Chris has also supported many officers through the life changing experience of becoming a sabbatical officer. Providing an ear, or a shoulder, when required and forging lifelong friendships.

Chris was a loving wife to Don and a devoted mother to Katie and Michael.

Outside work Chris enjoyed spending her weekends in West Wales with family and friends.

The Union wishes to pass our thoughts and condolences to Chris’s family and express our sadness for the loss of a valued and loved friend.

This obituary was kindly written by Jason Dunlop. General Manager of the Students’ Union.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

WORLD NEWS

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

World News in brief Siobhan O’Hanlon Reporter

Bottling it

Vodka cure Samantha Shillabeer News Editor

A Japanese sailor who fell overboard whilst relieving himself survived by gripping onto a three litre plastic bottle for ten hours.

Tsuyoshi Kurosawa, 28, sustained no injuries but was hospitalised for two days due to low body temperature.

A fisherman spotted him 12 miles from Kamaishi, in northern Japan.

A coastguard said: “He was very lucky that the plastic bottle happened to be there.”

Twister trials

450 high school students have attempted to set a world record for the largest Twister game ever.

The pupils from North Dakota played on 180 Twister mats measuring 4,699 square feet.

They will not know whether they have broken the record until it has been reviewed by Guinness World Records.

The current Twister board record was set in April 2005 in the Netherlands at 2,453 square feet.

Stealing a kiss

07

Australian doctors revealed this week how they fed a patient vodka to save his life.

The 24-year-old man, who w a s visiting the country from Italy, came to a Queensland hospital after swallowing a large amount of a potentially fatal substance found in anti-freeze in an apparent suicide attempt.

The substance, ethylene glycol, is a powerful toxin that can cause

renal failure and death if not treated immediately.

The best treatment is high-percentage alcohol, which inhibits the liver’s ability to break down the poison and create potentially deadly compounds.

So once the hospital’s alcohol supplies ran out, Dr Pascal Gelperowicz decided the next best thing to do was send for a case of vodka.

He said: “We quickly used all the available vials of 100 percent alcohol and decided the next best way to get alcohol into the man’s system was by

Killer cow faces murder charge Cambodian police arrest animal over traffic deaths Ceri Isfryn Reporter Cambodian police investigating a series of traffic-related deaths have arrested an unusual suspect.

A white, 1.5-metre-tall cow is being held on suspicion of killing at least six people in Cambodia’s capital, Phnom Penh.

The animal was caught after causing the death of a 66-year-old motorcyclist.

It was lingering in the middle of a road when the driver collided with it.

The same cow was responsible for another traffic accident earlier this year,

An art lover has stood trial in Avignon, France after kissing a painting worth £986,000 whilst wearing red lipstick.

The chief prosecutor demanded the court fine Sam Rindy €4,500 (£3117) for leaving a red smear on the work of American artist Cy Twombly.

Rindy’s lawyers claim that her behaviour was ‘an act of love’.

The court will deliver its verdict in November.

COW: If you can’t do the time...

which claimed the lives of five people and left several others injured when a truck veered off the road and crashed whilst trying to avoid the animal.

Local policeman, Pin Doman, has claimed that the cow’s owner could be facing a six-month prison term under a new traffic law that holds people responsible for accidents caused by animals in their care.

He said the cow’s owner has been warned four times in the past to keep his cattle leashed and could be punished if relatives of those who died initiate legal proceedings.

Mr Doman also confirmed that the cow is currently being held at Phnom Penh Police Station.

feeding him spirits through a nasalgastric tube.”

Gelperowicz’s colleague Dr Todd Fraser claimed that despite the patient being given three standard drinks an hour for three days, he showed no signs of a hangover when he woke up.

He said: “Fortunately for him he was in a medically-induced coma for a good portion of that time.

“By the time he woke up I think his hangover was well and truly gone.”

He added: “In reality the doses were not that high... we were keeping him

at a level between two and three times the legal limit to drive, so equivalent to someone who went out to a party on a Saturday night - except he kept on going for three days.”

Dr Fraser also commented: “The hospital’s administrators were also very understanding when we explained our reasons for buying such a large quantity of vodka.”

The patient is continuing to make a full recovery.

Scoring in the brothel

Football under fire as Italian team sponsors escort trade Anya Rakoczi Reporter An Italian football club has landed itself in hot water with local residents after signing a controversial sponsorship deal with an escort agency.

The northern Italian club, Trentino 1921, has struck the partnership with Casa Bianca, an agency based on the Austrian border.

It describes itself as ‘the home of pleasure’ and promises ‘a sensuous place to get everything you want’.

The escort agency paid 10,000 euros (about £7,000) to have their logo – a white rose – on Trentino’s official website.

After clicking on the logo fans are directed to the agency’s homepage where material of a sexual nature is presented and users are warned that they must be 18 years or over.

Pictures of the escorts, who cost 180 euros (£130) per hour, and descriptions of them can be easily accessed by simply clicking on each woman’s name.

The decision to employ such sponsors has reportedly angered local residents and councillors alike.

Councillor Iva Berasi said: “I find it absolutely amazing that a club should go into such a deal with an escort agency.

She added: “This business, if one can call it a business, is making money by exploiting women’s bodies and the club is receiving this money.

“If I am offended I can only imagine that the women of this town must feel as angry as I do.”

No one offered themselves for an official comment at Trentino, but a source close to the club is reported to have said: “No one can see what the problem is – it is not as if we are making use of the escorts ourselves.”

It has been reported that soon after Trentino placed the link on its site the webpage crashed due to over use.

08 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

OPINION

OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

You gotta have faith?

freewords Est. 1972

Drugs In Sport Once again, another Olympic ‘hero’ has disappointed the sporting public by admitting their use of illegal substances to boost performance.

Marion Jones, as most athletes who have ended up this way, was obviously extremely talented, but went too far in her pursuit of glory.

The really sad thing about drugs in sport is that it’s no longer a huge scandal when someone like Jones admits their guilt. Ben Johnson’s positive test in 1988 rocked the entire Olympic movement, but now our attitude to such a story is markedly different; it’s treated as more of a justification of how the athlete achieved such a feat.

The high profile doping cases at least demonstrate that the IOC and WADA systems are working, even though you feel more is going on than meets the eye.

The solution to eradicate sport of drugging to enhance performance seems to be some way off, but we cannot let complacency seep in; when scandals break, those involved must be severly punished.

If their cases are treated with anything less than outrage, more athletes will consider taking a chance in search of their sport’s pinnacle.

Student By-Elections You may have noticed that Quench is accompanied by a cheeky sibling for this issue of gair rhydd: the Candidates’ Manifestos. This can only mean one thing: elections are upon us again.

If you’re a weary third year, and you sense that they’ve come around much sooner than usual, you’re right: these are by-elections, emerging as a result of the need to fill up the spaces for Non-Sabbatical positions that were not taken at the close of elections last year.

This means another week of theatrics, carnivalesque manoeuvres and some very forced smiles from the bizarre and occasionally desperate group of exhibitionists that consider themselves budding student politicians.

It is of course very easy to become disillusioned by the noisy clutter of campaigners all vying for attention.

Unfortunately, the validity of student elections is sometimes lost in the blur.

Despite this, it goes without saying that it is extremely important that you not only take the time to vote, but also attempt to make a vote based on an informed decision, and not just upon whoever doled out the most Haribo.

Editor Amy Harrison Deputy Editor Ben Bryant gair rhydd Co-ordinator Elaine Morgan News William Taylor Abigail Whittaker Samantha Shillabeer Corinne Rhoades

Lucie Apampa asks why more schools are reverting to lessons on creationism and considers the extent to which religion interferes with education

S

o, we follow America into wars (sorry – ‘liberal interventions’), mimic a somewhat ‘laissez-faire’ approach to the deteriorating environment, and of course the annoying usage of surnames as first names. But who would have thought that we Brits – so smug in the quiet confidence of our superiority over our crossAtlantic neighbours - would follow America into the endorsement of unfounded religious beliefs in place of real science?

Creationism, or (to use its more ‘scientific’ sister theory) ‘intelligent design’, has been creeping up on us for some years now, proposing to provide a valid alternative to Darwin’s theory of evolution that is wholly based on the ‘good book’.

It would seem that despite their readiness to believe in a ‘creator’- an omnipotent and ever-present grand designer whom we should all fear yet only encounter in death - our more fundamentalist brothers and sisters (of both Christian and Muslim faiths) just cannot accept that we might have originated from something so ‘shameful’ as monkeys.

Christian creationists take the Book of Genesis literally – that is to say that they believe the world to have been created by God in six days and humankind to have originated from Adam and Eve, (who was of course created from Adam’s rib).

They reject evolution and natural selection and would prefer mainstream education to teach the theory of creationism in science lessons, with some

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organisations such as ‘Truth in Science’ going so far as to send DVDs to schools offering them advice on the teaching of ‘intelligent design’.

Somewhat worryingly, the advocates of creationism have caught onto the fact that to most rational people the basic assumptions of creationism do not register as sound theory on a par with the likes of Darwin, and as such have begun to place emphasis on the ‘scientific’ aspects of their preferred theory.

of creationism in science lessons if students ask about it.

Now it may be a good idea to allow for the discussion of creationism (I wouldn’t want to be accused of challenging freedom of speech), but the worry is where this will all end, and in the case of faith schools, the extent to which teachers may be encouraging creationist beliefs.

Already it is estimated that one in ten people in the UK believe in literal interpretations of the creation stories

An alarming 45% of Americans believe that “human beings did not evolve, but instead were created by God”. Is Britain going the same way?

It can be safely assumed that this is where the more credible - sounding term ‘intelligent design’ came from (although there appear to be no significant discrepancies between intelligent design and creationism). It is also notable that creationist organisations like ‘Truth in Science’ declare themselves to be “an organisation promoting good science education”, as opposed to God enthusiasts who place belief in the unknown over well-researched and tested scientific evidence.

There is no science in creationism, but sadly these strategic and (I suspect) deceptive ploys are working, and although the government still refuses to place creationism in the curriculum, it has conceded to allow the discussion Emma Thomas Problem Page Ted Handsome Television TV Guy TV Mariam Lonely Hearts Queenie Five Minute Fun Rhys Trigg Picture Editor Ed Salter Online Editor Paul Springett

from the Bible or the Qu’aran, and if more young and impressionable pupils are to be taught ‘intelligent design’ this number looks sure to rise. An alarming 45% of Americans were found in a recent Gallup poll, to believe that “human beings did not evolve, but instead were created by God”. We have to hope that Britain is not going the same way.

Some are blaming the increase in creationist beliefs upon the rise in faith schools, as it has been claimed that creationism is particularly prevalent in Islam; but what of the Christian schools? The academies of the Emmanuel Schools Foundation – founded

by Christian evangelist Peter Vardy and based on a strong Christian ethos - have been accused of teaching bibli-

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cal creationism on an equal par with Darwinian evolutionary theories, to the dismay of many parents. And these are not even faith schools. So where do you draw the line?

Perhaps the answer is to separate religious education from science, and furthermore to separate religion from education altogether. Why should any school have the right to select its students on a basis of their faith? In a multi-cultural country that is becoming increasingly fragmented, cordoning school children off according to their religion can only lead to greater susceptibility to pseudo-science based on religious belief and unfounded theory. Children should be taught the core foundations of education, not the entire content of holy books written thousands of years ago.

Some parents of children who attended the Emmanuel Schools Foundation Gateshead academy expressed concern that they believed teachers discouraged free-thinking and independence in pupils, making them more vulnerable to internalising the views of the foundation. Ken Ham, the president of creationist organisation ‘Answers in Genesis’, explains proudly on their website how in persuading students to share his views on creation he “had learned to teach the students how to think rather than just what to think”.

Let children think for themselves and let them decide whether or not they wish to pray to a higher being and perhaps they will use their logic as opposed to inherited beliefs to make up their own minds about what happened ‘in the beginning’.

Emma Jones Stacey Jeffreys Siobhan O’Hanlon Ceri Isfryn Anya Rakoczi Lucie Apampa Steven Kenwood Sarah Shearman Beth Ranjit Joy Harding Sarah Powell Ben White Osian Haines

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gairrhydd

SEPTEMBER.19.2007

09

OPINION

NEWS@gairrhydd.COM

The Day The Music Thrived File-sharing music is not just the future - it’s the present. And, says Steven Kenward, record companies need to drop the lawsuits and embrace it

A

woman in Minnesota has been fined $222,000 (£110,000) for illegally downloading and file-sharing music. She was ordered to pay this sum as compensation for making a mere 24 songs available for others to share online. This amounts to $9,250 (£4,625) in damages for each song, a grossly disproportionate figure considering that the average price for a single download currently stands at 85p.

It is undeniable that illegal downloading has eaten strongly away at record industry profits, but is crippling a single mother with a lifetime of debt going to help them regain customer loyalty?

These high-profile prosecutions are doing nothing to scare people away from file-sharing. Despite over 14,000 people to date being subjected to legal proceedings for ‘major uploading’, the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) states on its website that the number of people using p2p software has remained consistently high (7.4 million people) over the last four years. The average settlement of £2,000 is barely a dent on the estimated £325 million the BPI surmises the UK record industry loses annually as a result of filesharing; so why do record companies insist on pursuing these cases?

The token record company defence for hostility towards file-sharers is that

ILLUSTRATION: Osian Haines

The opportunities provided by record label funding are fading away

pedal MOR Woganite drivel (greetings Mr Blunt and Miss Melua) that will appeal to an audience less likely to obtain the album illegally.

Together with this ‘no surprises’ strategy, record labels have invented a stunning repacking of the CD single in the hopes of reigniting physical sales: The Ringle. Impressed, aren’t you?

The lack of imagination demonstrated by the Majors in creating this feeble format – a ringle is essentially a threetrack single with a ringtone thrown in – is in direct opposition to the excitement shown by artists about the possibilities of exploiting free downloads. And the strange thing is: one never hears the artists themselves complaining about low wages or dips in sales. In The Sun this week, Alex Turner said that giving away albums for free “is a really good idea.” Record labels should take heed from the confidence shown by the

illegal file-sharing results in less money to invest in new music. But it seems to me that now, more than ever, fans can be targeted in a more personal and persistent fashion than previously possible (and at a lower cost) via the internet, mobile phones and social networking sites such as Myspace. Massive investments are no longer required to obtain a large fan base: the golden opportunities provided by record label funding have either burnt out (RIP TOTP…) or are

Is there even a need for a record company at all? fading away (…the CD single will be joining you shortly).

The two most successful promotional outlets for new bands are the two most self-sufficient: live gigs and free access to their music. The Arctic Monkeys sold out London Astoria before even signing a deal: surely this level of pre-industry success can only serve to save record companies time and money when it comes to discovering and promoting new bands? Furthermore,

in the wake of Radiohead’s announcement that they will be allowing fans to decide how much to pay for their new, self-financed album, is there even a need for a record company at all?

Until recently, the main benefit of signing to a label was access to the recording studio. But the reverence for the recording has been demystified

Is crippling a single mother with a lifetime of debt going to help them regain customer loyalty? courtesy of the ascension of affordable digital recording equipment. Bands can not only arrive at the record label’s feet with a fully established fan base, but also with a high-quality recording that is fit for public consumption. Hard-Fi famously recorded their debut #1 album for less than £500. Does this sound like an impoverishing financial investment or a few fewer bottles of champagne at the Brit Awards?

Whether it is because of financial pressure or not, it is true that the major labels are taking fewer chances of late. Instead of accepting lower album sales as inevitable and trying to breed a scene in which a high number of bands can compete healthily, with smaller individual gains but a larger profit as a whole, the labels seem more content to

“W

bands and trust that if the music is good enough then fans will cough up in one form or another – be it for merchandise, gigs or legal download sales.

Throughout the history of popular music, the most important and successful bands have always been about much more than the music. Being inspired by the ideology of an artist is just as important as buying every record. Hiphop and R’n’B appear to be the only genres exploiting this fact. Each act is presented as a brand, replete with clothing lines, acting roles and perfumes to peddle. Despite hip-hop album sales falling 50% in the last year, the most successful rappers are amongst the highest paid artists in the whole industry. Hip-hop sells a lifestyle, not a song carefully crafted to resonate with Radio 2 listeners, and record labels should embrace this concept if their true concern is profitability.

As it stands, I feel record companies are more concerned with limiting the new found freedom fans enjoy. Filesharing enables us to explore music more widely than ever before. We can, for the first time, access everything out there and embrace the music we truly love. Major labels used to control this choice but are instead struggling to keep up with the innumerable scenes establishing themselves in packed out clubs every night of the week. Hitting out at consumers like a bullied child is only going to distance them further from the pack. Music is in the hands of the fans now, and no amount of crying and stomping is going to make us give it back.

ill it happen to me?”, I hear you ask. Well, I contacted the BPI and they assured me that currently their prosecution team focus solely on ‘major uploaders’ (i.e. those who upload thousands of songs for others to access and share). The simple thing to do to escape their watchful eye is to move any copyrighted files you may have downloaded out of the p2p programme’s shared folder.

10 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

OPINION

OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

Cardiff, disability and me

Opinion presents gair rhydd’s new weekly columnist Ted Shiress

G

reetings. As the Students With Disabilities officer, I thought it would be useful to establish my own disabilitythemed column. In this, I can portray points and concerns involving disability throughout university life. I will also convey accounts of experiences and problems I and people who have written in have recently had at the university, and how I think they should be solved, or at least improved.

First off, I am trying to get action taken to improve the quality of the pavement around university buildings, because frankly, it is appalling. I am quite sure the number of cracked paving stones exceeds the number of even ones and the lack of dropped curbs is embarrassingly high. Not only is this inconvenient as I and other mobility users have to find longer and flatter routes, but it is incredibly hazardous for everyone.

The general use of these pavements is immense and the majority of these people are students, some of whom may be in a rush or feeling slightly more careless than normal. Anyone could easily trip in such an environment and the fate of such a trip could be potentially lethal.

I am trying to get action to improve the quality of the pavements around the university Also, has anyone noticed just how many times the pavement is dug (presumably by plumbers) on Colum Road? It seems as if at least once every fortnight there is a great blockade in the pavement and a group of men working down a hole.

I am sure that in a lot of instances what they are doing is necessary and unavoidable.

However, if one is using a type of wheeled mobility device, the al-

ternatives remain distinctly limited.

You can go all the way back up the road to cross and retake the journey towards the university from the right hand side of the road. Although this may seem a long but relatively hassle free alternative, it is not. As you start to approach the end of Colum Road there is a small alley/driveway with an alarming absence of a dropped curb at either side. Admittedly, I just plough over it in my scooter.

However, this is highly unsafe and I am surprised I have not caused any damage.

Please feel free to raise any issues concerning the university and disability Unfortunately, this is a problem that cannot be solved by the university, as this is not a matter concerning its property. Therefore, I am left to persuade the council to make the necessary changes.

However, returning to the matter of this column, what is most important are your own thoughts ,as readers, from students with or without disabilities. I would be most delighted for anyone to drop me an email at shiressea@cardiff.ac.uk.

Please feel free to raise any issues you may have concerning the university and disability, or simply just to seek informal advice from me or any other individual who might be reading. I am aware there is no real forum for students with disabilities to communicate with each other and exchange thoughts, or just get to know each other. I am planning to establish something more official, but in the meantime I would welcome you to join the Students With Disabilities Facebook group I created. This can be found at http:// cardiffuk.facebook.com/group. php?gid=2735976426. Please feel free to use it as much as possible.

Paradise lost

Can the ethical traveller venture into Burma? Sarah Shearman explores this issue and asks if we can legitimise our footsteps off the beaten track

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ith international political heavyweights in the USA and EU shaking their fists at the abominable SPDC, it seems that there might be democratic light at the end of the tunnel for the Burmese people. With this in mind, it is possible to review the contentious issue of travelling in this country: a debate that has been plaguing the ethical traveller for years.

Whilst a trip to Burma may be as simple as walking into a travel agency in Bangkok and booking an overnight sleeper train, it is morally weighed down by a question that human rights campaigners are still divided on: to boycott or not to boycott?

When it became apparent that there was civil unrest against the military junta in Burma, the government took measures to tighten its control of the nation by declaring 1996 ‘Visit Myanmar Year’.

This seems innocent enough, but what the average international tourist did not know was that by visiting the country they would be legitimising the oppressive militant regime and supplementing its income, allowing its destructive grip on the nation to intensify.

Also, in order to improve the infrastructure for tourists many hundreds of thousands of Burmese people were uprooted from their homes and forced into labour. A Burmese stamp on an international passport, therefore, symbolises the stamp of approval for human oppression.

Aung San Suu Kyi, from the National League for Democracy, famously pleaded with tourists to “visit us later,” as a visit to Burma was “tantamount to condoning the regime.”

Travel guides such as Lonely Planet have been continually criticised for even publishing a guide to the country.

Yet they maintain it is up to the individual whether or not they choose to visit the country, and they provide a hefty chapter on the pros and cons of travelling there.

Pro-travel campaigners have come up with a series of methods for avoiding lining the government’s pockets by labelling the government-run travel companies, such as Myanmar Travel and Tours and Myanmar Airways, as ones to avoid using. It also stresses the importance of staying in privately owned hotels and hostels and encourages travellers to write to the Burmese government about its wrongdoings.

However a $20 visa, $10 departure

It can be dangerous to isolate a nation from international witnesses as oppression is more easily suppressed tax and 10% tax on goods bought in the country means that just by being there a contribution to the regime is inevitable; it seems that all these measures are merely futile attempts at salving a guilty conscience.

This issue raises a multitude of questions about the ethics of travel in general and particularly about backpacking. Hit any hostel anywhere in the world and you will be sure to find a few seasoned backpackers playing out a game of one-up-manship with each other about who has been to the most ‘untouristy’ places. You will hear: “I was here years ago before everyone came here,” “Cambodia is the new Thailand”; “Laos is the new Cambodia,” “Eastern Europe is too commercial” and so on.

Anyone who has been to Thailand will have undoubtedly done a trek in the mountains, seen some hill tribe

A trip to Burma has left human rights campaingers divided: to boycott or not boycott?

And there are pros a-plenty. Tourism can be a way of effectively connecting ‘us and them’; where there is good communication and international sympathy, human rights abuses are less likely to take place. It can be very dangerous to isolate a nation from international witnesses as it means internal oppression is more easily suppressed.

Organisations such as Amnesty International and the BBC World Service Trust depend upon communication as the sole means of helping oppressed people all over the world.

TRAVEL: hazy lazy days

people and perhaps been unlucky enough to ride an elephant. Yet people are beginning to push the boundaries of their tramping grounds further afield, beating down the unbeaten track until there is nothing left to see. People opt for treks that promise that ‘you won’t see any other tour groups’.

So it seems that even trekking in northern Thailand can prove to be as problematic as the Burma question.

Whilst the hordes of trekkers bring money into the villages, allowing the inhabitants access to better education and healthcare, it equally brings with it cultural pollution and a tragic loss of tradition and identity.

Programmes like Bruce Parry’s Tribe show that as a nation we are fascinated by other culture, yet something tells me this is more to do with our insatiable desire for a good holiday location than anthropological interest.

Admittedly, on a recent trip to Prague I got up early to take photographs of the city without any tourists and continually and rather hypocritically complained about them walking around with their cameras taking pictures of everything, as I myself took pictures of everything.

Whilst trekking brings money into the villages, it equally brings with it cultural pollution Yet it is a shame that we are busy tramping all over the world in search of good photos, nice food and cheap wares without a whole lot of consideration as to the implications this has for the people living in these destinations.

Stick to the beaten track I say.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

11

OPINION

OPINION@gairrhydd.COM

What Not To Wear

Trying to find appropriate clothing to wear on a medical placement is trickier than brain surgery. Beth Ranjit asks why this should be the case

I

t’s that time of year again. That time when students are drifting back to Cardiff for the recommencement of lectures, with the hangover from Freshers’ Fortnight permeating their already summeraddled brains. It’s a time for making new friends and avoiding old enemies, of whining about new landlords and finding your old house redecorated and refurnished. It is at this time that third-year medical students have been on placement for a month and are looking forward to Christmas.

Unfortunately, on placement, the typical student attire of T-shirt and jeans isn’t going to cut it under the white coat. Patients, relatives and qualified doctors are expecting some kind of professionalism from us, when we’ve just about worked out where the heart is.

Everywhere I look, I see plunging necklines and short skirts Men on our course are constantly complaining that they must wear a shirt and tie whilst women can get away with anything they like. This is technically true, as we don’t have a strict dress requirement. However, leaning over to examine a patient with your breasts spilling out of your top could be a bit of a problem (and bring a whole new meaning to ‘white coat hypertension’).

So, as I currently own only a couple of blouses, I head out to the shops.

MEDICS: Looking at something

Everywhere I look, I see plunging necklines and short skirts, low-riding trousers and high-riding tops. The options that are vaguely blouse-shaped are missing sleeves, are disturbingly transparent or have ribbons and ties trailing from the waist. Acceptable offerings of skirts and trousers all appear to be made of linen, which creases as soon as you look at it. I’m beginning to wonder if the people who design these clothes have ever visited an office, a school or a hospital.

However, fashion is essentially a supply-and-demand business, so is there any indication that these are the preferred clothes of the working woman? A survey by New Woman recently found that 94% of women have flirted in the workplace and over half have ended up in bed with a colleague. If romance is your goal at work (or, for that matter, on placement), this season’s office clothes will set you up nicely.

The flip side of this is that one in two women experience sexual harassment in the workplace, as reported by the Equal Opportunities Commission in 2000. I’m not suggesting that what a woman chooses to wear to work invites her colleagues to abuse her, but that the promotion of an environment of easy flirtation and romantic interests encourages both wanted and unwanted attention, and makes it easier to cross the line into inappropriate and harmful behaviour.

Not even uniforms are safe. With the London College of Fashion designing the new police uniform, could we see the trend in the shops transferred to an official uniform? I sincerely hope not, because cleavage and thighs is no more

appropriate for a police officer than a medical student, and I at least have a choice in what I wear to work.

Perhaps the solution is to take women’s workwear out of the main fashion industry, encouraging female Ciro Citterios instead of a sloppy section at M&S. That said, Ciro Citterio collapsed in 2005, and if a suit-based company cannot survive in a suit-based workplace, how would its feminine counterpart have a hope of success?

Leaning over to examine a patient with your breasts spilling out could be a slight problem With the NHS implementing new protocols in January, even the traditional suit-and-tie outfit of male doctors will be relegated to the history books.

Infection control measures will ban ties, white coats and anything worn below the elbow (presumably with the exception of hijab requirements). Soon, even my male colleagues will struggle for appropriate dress, though I doubt anyone will try to sell them a transparent crop top. While I’m resigned to buying a utility belt simply to carry my books, pens and stethoscope, other businesses are encouraging ‘Dress Down’ days.

I guess I’ll just have to put up with standing in the ‘Classics’ section, surrounded by OAPs, clutching the lone top I could glean from the racks. At least my professionalism will remain intact.

Ban this sick filth

Is the current wave of documentaries about ‘freaks’ tasteless? Or informative?

Or just a ruddy good laugh? Something’s not quite right, says Andy Rennison

D

oes anyone ever wish they’d been to see the circus? Not so much because it would be fun, but because it’s such a dying medium. I mean, the last big-top I saw was at Glastonbury; there were plenty of clowns inside, but none of them were being paid.

The traditional circus seems to be dying out with its better elements ending up on TV in some twisted form.

Shame, really. I would be quite up for seeing human cannons, strangely attractive acrobats and a good freak show, as long as I didn’t have to leave my sofa.

Yet for one of those attractions, perhaps I don’t. Apparently all you need for a fine freak parade is Freeview.

I conservatively estimate that in the last month I have seen around a dozen documentaries that could be fascistically labelled ‘freak shows.’ Almost all of these have been consigned to either BBC3, Five or Channel 4 and its

affiliated outlets.

Highlights have included Brummie Kid With Enormous Tongue, Girl With In-growing Limbs, and all manner of startlingly diverse dwarves (apparently there are over 200 types).

Apparently all you need for a fine freak parade is Freeview Personally I find these programmes occasionally fascinating but often uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because of that word I learnt from The Simpsons.

What was it again? Schadenfreude, that’s the one – getting my kicks from wheelchairs and MRIs. I mean, these shows are built up as spectacles, being advertised with some melodramatic soundtrack, heavy

voiceover and uproarious title: ‘The Curse of the Mermaid’, anyone?

People must be lapping them up though, considering how many we’re now being pummelled with. And, I started to think, why not? The icky truth is that humans naturally feel a subconscious comfort at seeing a less fortunate person.

But this simple explanation for the rise of Disabled TV does not tell the whole story.

At the same time that such productions are booming, so are a number of other documentary genres – all with one common element: minorities.

From Muslims to paraplegics, and transsexuals to migrants, the media is striving to serve up as many side dishes of society as possible.

It’s the last decade or so that has caused this: rising immigration, 9/11, the BNP, the War on Terror, political correctness…the social perspective of 2007 has been moulded largely by fac-

tors like these.

There is a sense that we’re somehow drifting towards being a country of cynical, insulated bigots, who’ll put up a tall fence between ourselves and the neighbours but will still give £5 to Comic Relief – because it’s the right thing to do.

The icky truth is that humans naturally feel a subconscious comfort at seeing one less fortunate Whether that’s true or not, while the more conservative press lick their lips at all the fear and turmoil, more liberal corners of television have panicked and decided to dedicate their channels to broadening our horizons.

This recent TV season of conditions and disorders and syndromes is then, not just an effort to fuel our quiet appetite for misfortune; it is a media drive to open our eyes to all the borderline fractions of humanity – to quash our supposed terror of difference.

That programme on Channel 4 about primordial dwarves? That’s basically 4 saying: “Here’s something rare and unsettling. Look at it. This is what you must accept.” And that’s what’s truly terrible about all these shows.

Of course raising awareness of littleknown diseases or wars or movements is important to a degree. But ramming so much anti-ignorance down people’s throats slowly removes our drive to expand our own horizons. In time, no one will make an effort to be curious, to understand, to break down their own prejudices; the TV will decide and do all that for us. And that’s rubbish.

Babies are spoon-fed; the rest of us learn for ourselves.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

OPINION

L w r Mi L o D

THEMILLWORD@gairrhydd.COM

the...

13

The ultimate price?

C

ambridge University’s student newspaper Varsity has claimed that some of its students are selling themselves to the sex industry, including escorting, stripping and beyond, to make ends meet.

This might demand some witty interuniversity dig, if prostitution wasn’t such a serious subject. More worryingly, it goes without saying that if this is occurring in Cambridge it will not be isolated, but endemic throughout the UK, including here in Cardiff.

One Cambridge graduate, who admitted to working as a £50-an-hour call girl during her first year, and sleeping with approximately 40-50 men, said: “I did have a day job at the same time, but it just wasn’t paying enough. I met other students who did it too. Once you’ve done it, it is tempting. If you need quick, easy money, it’s there.”

Another student travelled north, away from family and friends, to strip for £100 a dance, explaining that although at times she found it “degrading”, it was also “character building” and that she would rather do that than stack shelves at a supermarket for £5.50 per hour.

An internet escort agency, Takemetodinner.com which charge up to £300 for a date, also claimed that there were over 400 Cambridge University students in their employment, although policy on their website insists that its members must not ‘behave in a manner which could be deemed as an attempt to solicit sex, including…behaviour whilst on a date’.

So what does this all mean? Is it a cause for moral outrage? A concerning new trend, or an undesirable, but nevertheless, straightforward way to make money? For many, it was distressing enough that according to the careers’ service Prospects, two out of five (or 39%) of students are working in parttime employment (and 3% in full-time employment!) during term-time. Research has shown that working alongside your degree is likely to have a negative influence upon your academic performance, no matter what the job.

It is difficult to imagine how the

Independent

S

BODY FOR SALE: Are some students relying on the sex industry to make it through university? utterly the demoralising act of selling your body must be affecting these students in their education and their day-to-day lives. This is not just in the short-term, coping with meeting coursework deadlines, examinations and maintaining the secrecy of their work to avoid the stigma on campus, but in the long-term, when the psychological and emotional scars have been left.

educated sex worker, played by Billie Piper.

While many have previously questioned the legitimacy of “Belle de Jour’s” existence, the new television drama has sparked outrage that ITV is broadcasting a misleading, ‘glamourised’ representation of the sex industry with the central character being a product of unrealistic circumstances, and acting on unlikely motivations.

It is difficult to imagine how the demoralising act of selling your body must be affecting their studies and their day-to-day livesfgffgfgfggfgfgfggf These revelations come at a time when there has been much controversy surrounding the glamorisation of prostitution in ITV’s The Secret Diary of a Call Girl. The series is based upon the online blogs (and subsequent books) written by “Belle de Jour” – the alleged pseudonym of a high class, university-

Cari Mitchell, a leading figure of the English Collective of Prostitutes, said: “The programme doesn’t touch on many of the daily realities women face; the horror of being separated from your children by imprisonment, being driven from premises (where it is ten times safer to work) by police and

That’ll be the day...

If you’re cold-blooded, a fan of scales or have a phobia of outer ears, then October 20 is a day for you, as it’s Reptile Awareness Day. I think Reptiles get a fairly harsh press in the great animal kingdom PR

...in the papers

machine. There’s the mammals, who dominate in popularity, simultaneously claiming victory in the ‘cute n’ cuddly’ and most intelligent (?) stakes.

The amphibians, which have mastered land and water, win in the

Thunderbirds’ category. Then there are the marsupials; well, with babies the size of baked beans clambering into pouches, they’re just the freaky clowns, right?

But what about the reptiles? Ugly?

immigration raids; unremitting rape and other violence.”

The major question that Varsity’s findings beg is whether students are being forced into this situation. The short answer is no. The more complex reality (and this must be true of all who turn to prostitution, excluding the extremely rare, perhaps non-existent, “Belle de Jour” types) is that they believe it is the only solution which allows access to, as the Cambridge student put it, “quick, easy money.” Whether or not this is the case, it’s the prevalence of this belief which matters, and why prostitution will continue, unless things change.

Personally, these revelations at Cambridge are a lot more of a concern to me than the potential (mis)perceptions of a television drama. It might be easy to dismiss them as a minority who opted for the wrong path but I think the fact that even one student felt compelled to take this route, warrants reinitiating the ‘paying for higher education’ debate and urgent action to dissuade any other student from this course.

Slimy? Scary? NO! Banish the myth.

Stop hugging hoodies for a day, and go and find a snake/lizard/crocodile to embrace instead.

[Insert disclaimer for bites/scratches/decapitations here].

ir Martin Evans, a professor of genetics at Cardiff University, received great praise last week, from academics to Gordon Brown, for his contribution into stem cell research, which has been awarded a Nobel Prize.

For me, it is a bittersweet accomplishment. While scientifically, there is no getting away from the extraordinary breakthroughs in genealogy that Evans and his colleagues have achieved, it is the fact that ‘their work is one of the reasons the number of medical experiments on animals has risen in recent decades’, which stirs ill-ease in my conscience.

While I am far from an advocate of extremist anti-vivisection movements, and I recognise the benefits reiterated by the medical community, I do not believe it’s acceptable that animals have to suffer, and die, so that we might ‘progress’ indefinitely. Bring on the professor who finds the effective alternative to animal testing, resolving the better-of-two-evils ‘baby or a bunny’ debate – now that really would deserve the Nobel Prize in my book.

The Guardian

N

early all children aged from 10-15 have been a victim of crime, according to a new survey. Unfortunately, it is a trend that continues at university.

I experienced déja vu when I picked up last week’s gair rhydd because the story of students increasingly becoming the victims of crime – the Home Office suggests one in three every year – also ran last October.

But no, it seems the time continuum is still intact. It’s law and order that’s in disarray, and, unlike 10-15 year-olds, I’m sorry to say, for the most part, we students only have ourselves to blame.

One night last week, a friend of mine came across a female student in Cathays, shoes in her hands, completely pissed. Her ‘mates’ apparently hadn’t wanted to leave a club to walk her home, but when my friend enquired where she lived, she couldn’t remember. They eventually figured it out and my friend helped her to her room. If someone with less worthy intentions had found this girl in this state, the possibilities don’t bear thinking about.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

LETTERS

LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com Welcome and croeso to gair rhydd’s letters page, the place for students to have their say about the things they care about. So, if you have an opinion on any topic we would love to hear from you..whether it be a student issue, in the news, or one of your own. Contact us at letters@gairrhydd.com or you can voice your opinions on specific articles at gairrhydd.com. We look forward to hearing from you.

The Rainbow World In fact, having played for manyyouth enthusiasm to raise awareness but acadeies myself in the way-back-when there really are some talented players past, many of my mates who have gone and great atmosphere, ready to rival a Cup In response to last week’s letter on the Mardi-Gras, I wanted to add my little bit for the homosexual community.

Not only are we as a nation getting more tolerant to people’s right to choose their sexuality, but England has hosted the IGLFA Gay Football World Cup! This is a big step for mankind and an even larger step for England where football is strongly coveted as a manly sport.

Any slight hint to a professional football player choosing to swing the other way within the English league is blasted all over the papers until even his wife is starting to question their relationship. Homosexuality just isn’t tolerated, unofficially at least, within the beautiful game.

But all this is beginning to change... thank you very much. And change it needed to do. Sport is not based upond sexuality, and unlike what the homophobics of the 1980’s used to believe, you don’t have to be the macho-straight type to be at a professional level in sport.

chim chiminee, chim chiminee, chim chim cheroo, this message is for youuuuu poppycock. pure poppy cock. panda bird, panda bird, does what ever a banda bird does? seriously is it real?

Andy is coming back to Cardiff woooooooo!!!! scotty doesn’t know Kelloggs frosties, they’re grrreat

on to play in the professional English leagues, some even in the Premiership, have more knowledge on stereotyped camp issues such as fashion, ladies an hair products than my gay friends!

The IGLFA (International gay and lesbian football association) is all about getting the respect o the rest of the world, especially the heterosexual half, through soccer.

Much like the anti-racism campaign, it is using a middle ground which the majority of British people love alike, to increase acceptance of sexual choice.

Every year they have the world championship and the ‘gay games’ which is held this year in Buenos Aires, Argentina (as if the football isn’t mad enough there already!?).

They even have the brilliantlynamed ‘Come Together’ Cup! Of course the media never takes things quite as fantastically as they should.

When England hosted the gay world cup last year the Sun managed the halfwitted headline; ‘Footballs coming Homo’! Well, at least that’s better than our 2012 Olympics logo!

All I can say and do, is to encourage you guys to check it out. People might laugh at my suggestion and

I confess it was me that set off the fire alarn last week at 4am. my bad to the fit girl reading gair rhydd in the library, you are fit x shit, it’s the mormons rest in peace ulyssess, we all love you darling it’s better down where it’s wetter take it from me molokos is not called molokos any more!!!!!!

text: 07964308150

Dear gair rhydd,

15

mardi gras any day.

And guess what else is fantastic news…membership is only $15 dollars a year…might get a team together myself!

Hannah Day

Thanks!

Dear gair rhydd readers, Welcome back to Cardiff, how I have missed you during the summer. Now you are back, my standard of living can greatly improve. I make my living by stealing your property.

This weekend I will be walking around the student village early evening. When you go out I try your door handles you would not believe how many doors are left unlocked. I just walk in and take care of your laptops, cameras etc, you will not realise I have paid you a visit until you need your gear.

While I am walking around I check all your cars. My CD collection is really coming along.

Letter of the week Cyber-Bully...

Dear gair rhydd, After all the controversy that surrounds the internet, and its uses for spying, its no doubt that the negativity continues about stories in the media surrounding cyber bullying.

I felt I needed to write it and share my opinion. For one thing, I think the media are quick to jump to the conclusion of bullying.

The word itself is a great sound bite and can make a headline on its own. But how soft are pupils getting and how many of the cases claimed to be bullying really are?

If people are claiming that the internet is being used to bully them it’s very simple, don’t go on! It’s a choice to log on line and which sites you go into, who you add etc etc.

If there was a police force really in control of monitoring cyberspace, they would have a lot more important things to deal with than small-time school bullies. But I reckon this in itself is what is causing the massive rise in spying of people close to you, lecturers, school teachers, parents and all that lot.

You can’t shut down the sites where ‘bullying’ takes place, as these Later on in the night you will see me in the same pubs and clubs that you go to. They’re great aren’t they. Don’t worry about leaving your bag or phone if you want to go the bar or toilet I will look after it for you. O.K. so I go straight to the toilet, empty it, keep the contents but you will get an empty bag back, I’m not heartless.

It’s funny so many people moan

are usually major services such as MSN messenger or U-Tube. I have a little sister who is still at school and lucky enough to not have to face up to bullying. But if a video of you makes it onto U–Tube there’s not much you can do but ignore it.

While millions of people hit on the site every day, its also pretty easily avoided and ignored and with the hundreds of thousands of stupid films on there, who’s really going to care about yours anyway.

With the freedom on the cyberspace comes the ability to abuse it. People see everything as bullying these days. The media claims programmes like the Weakest Link encourage bullying; but at the end of the day, kids will be kids.

Teasing occurs at schools but most of the time I reckon this is all it is. I was certainly teased at school sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was annoying, and very rarely it actually hurt.

I know some people are seriously bullied and that’s wrong and must be really difficult to cope with, but maybe we’re just getting too soft as a generation. Maybe we need to grow some symbolic balls and stop claiming the word bully every time someone makes the slightest slip.

Matthew Boyce about students but I love them.

A.Thief P.C. Bob Keohane says...

Look after your property if you don’t someone else will. For safety advice contact me on: 07976 831365/029 20 527432 or you can email: Robert. keohane@south-wales.pnn.police.uk.

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To apply now and find out more about how you can build a truly global career, please visit our website www.gsk.com/uk-students

GSK is proud to promote an open culture, encouraging people to be themselves and giving their ideas a chance to flourish. GSK is an equal opportunity employer.

gsk.com/uk-students

gairrhydd OCTOBER.15.2007

17

POLITICS

POLITICS@gairrhydd.COM

Flash Gordon’s 100 days John Treddon Political Correspondent n Wednesday 27 June, Tony Blair bade us farewell and Gordon Brown became the 4th Prime Minister we’ve seen in our lifetimes. It’s now been just over one hundred days since Brown stepped up, and he’s had to deal with a fair bit of serious stuff. But is he actually any good?

Gordon’s first public test was the London and Glasgow bombing attempts, which shook the country back to darker times of 7/7.

Soon after, following significant amounts of rain over central England in the middle of July, the floods struck Gloucestershire and Oxfordshire, leaving thousands without electricity or running water. Then, in early September, the news that Foot & Mouth was back to the UK. In the latest spate of dilemmas, Northern Rock became Brown’s first economic crisis.

Without the relatively recent law passed forcing the Bank of England to announce when it lends emergency funding to a bank, the impact on the bank would’ve been much less severe.

Nevertheless, the Government’s decision to guarantee 95% of savings up to a given threshold came perhaps a little too late.

However, most people seem to be

O

After much dithering, he ‘bottled’ from calling the election, instead playing safe

supportive of his handling of the recent crises. The Daily Mirror awarded him an “A+” in Crisis Management, in a recent school report style article they ran.

But some people argue that because all these crises had happened before, (terrorism, 05; floods, 02, Foot & Mouth, 01), there were already sufficient protocols in place for him to know how to deal with them.

Yet Brown has had to chair many more meetings of COBRA, the emergency response committee, in a short space of time, than Blair had to; testament to the frequency of crises since he became PM. In comparison, George Osborne, the shadow chancellor, announced the tax threshold for inheritance tax would rise to £1M, under a Tory government much to popular support.

The following week, Brown’s Government announced changes in the inheritance tax threshold. Indeed, Brown’s policy statements seem to smack Blair right in the face, showing that they weren’t really best buddies that agreed with everything. Moreover, they appear to be a watered-down version of Conservative ideas. Hmmm.

Further changes saw Brown planning to withdraw troops from Iraq post haste showing him in a different light to Blair; this announcement could well explain a large element in Labour’s high ratings two weeks ago.

Brown hinted that there could be a ‘snap election’ this autumn and Labour sources confirmed election consultants had been hired and campaigns were being formulated. At this time, polls showed Labour with a clear 8 percentage point lead over the Tories, and yet within a week they were neck and neck.

Thus, Brown had an interesting decision to make; call an election for this autumn, to give him a further 4-5 years

in office should Labour win, or sit tight and spend more time impressing the British public.

After much dithering, he ‘bottled’ from calling the election this year, instead playing safe.

Some people had pushed for an election, because they believed Brown morally needed a mandate from the country – as the electorate hadn’t voted him, himself in.

Finally, Gordon’s joke at the Labour Party Conference: “People ask me, ‘Would I recommend this job?’ and I say, ‘Not yet!’” is the only time some people have seen him smile, they say.

Labour had a clear 8 percentage point lead over the Tories, and within a week they were neck and neck.

Yes, he is very different to Blair, but who said different is worse? Despite him being described as ‘dour’ by some, he does seem to be wholesomely good.

No doubt, Gordon Brown still has many challenges to face over the coming years, up until 2009, when the next general election is likely to be held.

But, by and large, I think we’re in safe hands.

Cameron’s Churchillian effort Politics Editor Tim Hewish puts Cameron’s acclaimed speech through the blender of political analysis

C

hurchill had it, Disraeli had it, and hell if we have to give Hitler credit he had it. The ‘it’ in question is the skill of oration and like it or not Cameron does possess such a gift.

Often branded a man of style and not of substance, Dave’s decision to deliver his conference speech without notes or autocue may not have been the best move to allow a change of the public’s perception of him.

However, after many months falling into the trap of opposition, he began not just to merely oppose but propose and cite clearly what he was for, not just fully against.

This allows people to actually view him as a potential leader of Britain, not a man who sits on the soapbox of opposition. The clear indication of this was The Daily Mail and The Independent running with the same headline on Thursday’s front page.

The question commentators were asking was why was Cameron’s speech so successful? Perhaps the answer was multi-faceted.

Firstly, this wasn’t a speech aimed at his party. Dave wanted, for want of a better word, to sell himself to the people of Britain.

For instance, he turned a political

weakness into a strength, much like Brown did with his dour demeanour: “I can’t give you some hard luck story. I’m the son of a magistrate and a stockbroker, but the great privilege of my upbringing wasn’t the wealth, it was the warmth, it was the family.”

This was brand Cameron, but not in a sanitised package like previous incarnations. Gone were the nonsensical labels of Heir to Blair, but in came what Frank Luntz, the acclaimed American pollster, defined as, “Spectacular…this was one of those rare occasions when style and substance met perfection.”

Another aim was to buy time; the speech was designed to tinker with Brown’s normally punctual and controlling roster, placing the power firmly with Team Cameron by forcing Gordon to play the reactionary. It no doubt worked as the PM recently quashed all hype of a snap election.

“Let the people pass judgement on 10 years of broken promises…

Call that election Britain will win.”

The speech’s delivery is crucial as well; Brown’s was a solitary affair typifying his need to be the best and first in everything, whereas Cameron had his shadow cabinet accompanying him on the stage.

This was a key signal to show the electorate the depth and breadth of the party’s roots. In short, to emphasise the Tories are a team not a one-man band.

The major theme Cameron managed to achieve was to invoke rightwing philosophy, e.g. on crime, education, immigration, but convey it in a less condescending, more common sense manner and importantly in a very modern mode than (say) past Tory leaders.

Coupled with this were his expressions of his more liberal guise that he sometimes put on. For example, in what The Telegraph aptly defined as dark greenery, Dave replaced his absurd eco-Toryism.

Instead he gave a blend of natural conservatism chatter such as saying it was in Britain’s best interests, i.e. a foreign policy, not to be dependant on foreign energy resources, rather than the taxes on the supermarket sweepers of middle England Furthermore, his passion and fighting spirit were evident by his

final utterances, “Let the people pass judgement on 10 years of broken promises… Call that election. We will fight. Britain will win.”

This was brand Cameron, but not in a sanitised package like previous incarnations This allows British voters to ask: is New Labour really new after ten years and does Labour deserve a fourth term?

However, not all Tory ranks were impressed by Cameron’s approach;

Lord Bell, Lady Thatcher’s former PR guru said, “I’m not impressed by the fact that he didn’t have any notes… It’s perfectly possible to learn a speech in advance – everyone did it before the autocue.”

Nevertheless, the question few have asked is where Cameron earned his stripes in the art of oratory? Was it his Eton upbringing that he’s now not embarrassed about? Or is it something that is in the Cameron gene pool?

The answer should be up to the audience; as the faculty dubbed ‘charisma’ is often dished out by our maker in small quantities, but then again so are the elements of leadership.

Ultimately, does Dave have the right blend? Notably time will tell, but only because his speech has brought him such.

DAVE CAN TALK THE TALK, BUT WILL HE NOW WALK THE WALK?

18 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

FEATURES

FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

HAPPY BIRTHDA

Cutting edge drama hides fina As the student’s favourite channel celebrates 25 years, Emma Thomas discovers why the celebrations are contemporary but the future may be bleak GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I

mmigration, Islam, Illiteracy and Imprisonment. The ingredients of a blast of a new hard-hitting drama series which will be Channel 4’s birthday present to fans. But a closer inspection of the channel’s funding suggests we might need to make the most of it; this gift is not a sign of things to come.

Voted Channel of the Year in the 2006 Broadcast Awards, Channel 4 celebrates 25 years of programming in November. The home of many students’ favourite programme was established on the November 5 1982. The inspiration for its revolutionary purpose: the product of an act of parliament. It was intended to break the former duopoly between BBC and ITV, adding an extra channel to the previous three.

The immaculate conception Channel 4 began life as public property, being originally a subsidy of the Independent Broadcasting Authority.

The regulating body, through various image changes morphed into the Independent Television Commission and now exists as the Office of Communications. The Chief Executive of Channel 4 is effectively appointed by Ofcom, in agreement with the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport.

The Communications Act of 1993 dictates the role of Channel 4 as ‘ T h e provision of a broad range of high quality and di-

verse programming…innovative, experimental, creative, and educational’. Essentially the channel’s purpose was to provide programming for minority groups.

Channel 4 also aimed to silence the complaint that British media focused to narrowly upon London, aiming to move program production around the country. Their current remit for responsible programming requires that they broadcast regional content for a minimum of 30% of airtime whilst at least 30% of production expenditure must be spent outside of London.

Channel 4 was an intentional compromise, commercially self-efficient; it has never received government funding. Yet, the channel has a Public Service Broadcasting remit similar to the conduct of the BBC. The independent channel looked set for great things, ideologically armed with the combined potential of Bill Gates’ bank balance and Mother Theresa’s moral code.

Channel 4 has announced plans to introduce a music channel

The shrinking budget The alternative critical analogy is that Channel 4’s pockets have recently shrunk. Striving to meet its targets, it is the little brother channel trying so hard to impress, but apparently not getting quite as much praise from Daddy as his ever so perfectly behaved big sister, the BBC.

The government should intervene in order to secure the future of one of Britain’s greatest treasures Since 1993 the channel has been owned by Channel Four Television Corporation. It is from this point that the life of Channel 4 has appeared to act as a microcosm. In mirroring the wider trend in television production, increased digital media has meant that the compromise between optimum economical gain and quality programming has, metaphorically

speaking, been placed on a steep gradient.

The channel’s financial position has also been held responsibe for the perceived ‘depreciation’ of programme quality. Initially, Channel 4 received £30 million in cross-subsidy from Independent television companies who sold advertising airtime on Channel 4.

Since 1998 this practic e has ceased, drastically reducing the channel’s spending power.

But, let’s take a moment to respect Channel 4 for their services to all student-kind.

In 1993, when Channel 4 Company became the Channel 4 Corporation, the programming focus shifted to targeting the fringes of the mainstream, as opposed to the previous target groups at the extreme edge of society. Young people fell naturally into this new target demographic. As a consequence, a new era of programme aimed at young people flooded the Channel.

Channel 4 pioneered stranded programming, attracting a specific audience and maintaining audience figures for prolonged programme duration, keeping us glued to the television for even longer to avoid deadlines. From this point forward no weekend morning could be recognised as complete without an adequate prescription of T4.

All Channel 4 fans must be grateful for the introduction of Hollyoaks into their lives, and the comforting knowledge that there IS ALWAYS a repeat episode of Friends in one’s hour of need (usually back to back series the night before an exam!).

So next August, as you revise for your resits, you may wish to throw bricks at your television and curse that

A TV licence costs £135.50, Channel 4 wants £4.07 of this

An independent report by Price Waterhouse Coopers found Channel 4 to contribute 2 billion pounds to Britain’s cultural economy through off-screen activity, employing 22,000 people beautiful and unconditional bond you once shared. For those of you who feel this fate is destined to be yours, I shall remember not to remind you that Channel 4 has announced plans to introduce a music channel. Sssshhh!

Perhaps what some students love best about the 4 brand, the reliability of providing us with what we need, a dose of comedy or the omnibus of our best loved soap, is the element which critics view as Channel 4’s downfall.

The channel has been accused of relying too heavily on repeats, in an attempt to guarantee advertising sales and minimise costs of commissioning new programming.

This criticism is not specific to Channel 4’s situation but a generic criticism of the reaction of television companies to the commercialisation of the industry.

Nonetheless, Channel 4 is fighting back against claims that it has lost focus on core values, with a 25th birthday present to us all. An armour of hard hitting dramas, covering the kind of social issues upon which our

Channel 4 is a publisher broadcaster; in essence it commissions programme from other production companies, also known as dodging the hard work and taking the credit, but we love it no less.

THE TOWERS OF POWER: CHANNEL 4 HQ IN LONDON.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

19

FEATURES

FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

AY CHANNEL 4

ancial fears interactive television audience culture today thrive on. Immigration, illiteracy, Islam and life in prison are storylines the producers hope will have us all rushing to discussion forums.

The 4 brand In order to compete within the expanding cable and digital television market, Channel 4 proliferated the ‘4’ brand. After all, it’s not so cool now turning up in the big boy television playground if you’ve only got one channel. So along came Film 4, More4 E4, 4+1…

Film4, Channel Four’s film commissioning outlet, funds the production of films by independent companies. Not only is this specific channel a reliable solution to a socially void Friday night, it has also commissioned some classic dusty DVD collection classics, namely romantic comedy at its greatest, Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Licence fee to secure future

At least 30% of production costs must be spent outside of London.

broadcaster to maintain audience share.

This trend shows potential for survival within the competitive industry of digital media, especially when considering the context that in 2005 all terrestrial channels’ financial surplus fell.

Despite the common discourse that Channel 4 is a lesser institution when compared to the giants of the BBC and ITV. In 2005, it was the only terrestrial

The 2006 annual report from Chairman Luke Johnson predicted a bleak 2007. He predicts expected production costs to inflate beyond the means

A bleak future

Dispatches carries the beacon of hope for Channel 4’s core values of information and education.

The first words broadcast on Channel 4 were “Good Afternoon”.

The first programme was the gameshow Countdown, which is still running 25 years later. of programme budgets, leading to unavoidable creative cuts. As Ofcom admits such limitations which will ultimately push Channel 4 to reduce its public service broadcasting priorities, replacing them with a commercial focus.

Celebratory new dramas hide a sad birthday for the channel dedicated to informing, educating and entertaining the minority groups. Channel 4 faces a bleak future; in an increasingly commercialised television industry it is

Channel 4’s executive board are now faced with the challenge of securing funding to maintain the quality of programming in the post-digital age. In a speech made to parliament in June, the channel’s Chief Executive, Andy

The channel has been accused of relying too heavily on repeats Duncan asked for the government to intervene in order “to secure the future of one of Britain’s greatest treasures.”

The channel’s executive board has proposed that three% of the license fee, which is used solely to fund the BBC, should be allocated to Channel 4. A TV licence costs £135.50 per household, this would proportion only £4.07 to Channel 4. To shift the perspective from your Cardiff sofa to the pocket of Channel 4 this equates to £90 million a year, a modest share of the £3 billion revenue of the licence fee.

With our heads spinning with numbers, we still must question if this is sufficient pocket money to help Channel 4 remain the powerful force of enlightenment and civilisation which its proud Chairman, Luke Johnson, boasts.

In a localised sense £4.07 seems a relatively insignificant amount, given that popular student shows feature in Channel 4’s listings, the money we pay for public service television seems disproportionately spread.

STATE OF THE ART: THE HUB OF ACTIVITY, CHANNEL 4’S CONTROL ROOM.

expected to maintain high standards of programming despite unavoidable budget cuts.

The question which must be asked is when and how will the government react to these SOS signals? And if not, what will be the fate of Channel 4?

Discuss this article online at . www.gairrhydd.com

20 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

FEATURES

FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

Cardiff gets REFRESH First years’ Joy Harding and Sarah Powell take a look back at the messiest and most hectic time of the year, Freshers’ Fortnight

WORD: Solus is rocking, dude...

Everyone says that Freshers’ Week is an unforgettable part of university. Whoever you speak to about it, the vast majority will coin it an essential experience in which you can do just about anything, and with anyone.

So surely the fact that Cardiff offers double the fun in the way of Freshers’ Fortnight can only be a good thing?

With a lot to live up to, and over 5000 new students to impress, Joy Harding and Sarah Powell investigate whether it was as legendary an experience as expected by all.

From the moment acceptance letters arrived, prospective students were bombarded with information about the goings on for freshers in Cardiff. The website offered details of every event and tickets were snapped up. From welcome talks to Lock and Key Parties, meeting personal tutors to international discos, there was something for everyone. In no time at all the first official moving in date, September 19th, was upon us, and Cardiff was invaded

by eager, fresh faced students from all over the globe.

We all know that a tin of baked beans doesn’t come close to a Sunday roast!

While some people had already met through networking sites, and knew the names and faces of their new flatmates, others had no idea of what or who to expect. One thing everyone had in common was undoubtedly anticipation, as the thought of the weeks to come seemed both exciting and daunting.

The fact that everyone was in the same boat seemed to make the transaction from home to halls fairly smooth, and the friendly, welcoming atmosphere

First year impressions

that surrounded Cardiff was certainly reassuring. The effort being made by the University to make people feel at ease in their new home was obvious from the start, with student wardens constantly present, and even a bar of Toblerone in the way of a welcome mat.

Although the prospect of Freshers’ Fortnight was entirely new and exciting, there came a point when the nostalgia kicked in and everyone began to miss home cooking. We all know that a tin of baked beans doesn’t come close to a Sunday roast!

Being a ‘proper’ student was somewhat daunting now that we had to look after ourselves. Even performing what would seem like the simplest tasks was a complex operation; the number of people in the laundry ringing their parents to ask if they could wash their white delicate underwear with their pink stripy shirts was too many to count! Cooking for ourselves made us realise that a pot noodle and a tin of Tesco value soup is not a balanced

TROLLEYS: You know you did it meal.

Aside from learning to survive away from home, there was also the added pressure of making friends in an entirely new environment. Different people have different methods of breaking the ice; some like to get drunk with their new flatmates and head into town, whilst others like to share embarrassing stories with each other over a game of ‘I Never’. However, on the first few nights it was clear to see that most people had found groups of friends to dance with, which is testimony to Cardiff’s all inclusive nature, so the

homesickness and fears about being alone all seemed to melt away as we officially became freshers.

The evening of the September 23 marked the official start to Freshers’ Fortnight, but even before then there were plenty of events arranged at Solus for the early arrivals.

It would be wrong for us to give our opinions about every event because everyone’s experiences would have been different, so here’s a breakdown of a handful of the events at the Union in the evenings.

“Raging Semi Erection” “When I think of Freshers’ “A fast track to bankruptcy!” week it strikes me because I Nicole, first year Law Charlie, first year English can’t actually remember it.”

Tom, first year “A slut’s wet dream” “A huge Rollercoaster” English Language Martin, first year Geology Robin, first year Politics

gairrhydd OCTOBER.15.2007

FEATURES

FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

Flyer Frenzy

“

”

While a little confused about what the Rubber Duck experience actually involved, we all headed into our first university party not knowing what to expect. A wide range of chart music accompanied a frenzy of clothes swapping, dirty dancing and general euphoria at finally being “true students.”

Rubber Duck September 19

“

I Wasn’t a fan of the stripping girls on stage, where were all the men?!

Finally I get to dance to music I actually enjoy! Awesome atmosphere!

”

By Friday night, most people were settling in and feeling more acclimatised to life in Cardiff. Access All Areas, one of Cardiff’s regular club nights at Solus saw the start of our first weekend at University. A mix of Indie and NuRave music set the mood for more all night partying, pulling, and more often than not, puking.

“

Access all Areas September 21

It was a bit of a let down due to the similar playlists to the previous nights

”

A brilliant excuse to run around and drunkenly yell “Who the fuck are you then?” at people without offending them! Since this was the third club night in a row for many of us, it was a bit of a let down due to the similar playlists to the previous nights.

Who the F**k are you?

September 22

“

One lucky guy had already unlocked 4 girls by 10pm and was still going!

”

The women were given a lock which corresponded to keys that were dished out among the blokes. The point was that you had to try to find your ‘match’ as it were.

The party was enjoyable yet huge queues for drinks meant that people were generally too sober to make it a brilliant party.

“

Official Freshers’ Party September 23

PHOTO: James Perou

HED

21

Lock and Key Party September 22

Cardiff, Cardiff, Cardiff!

”

This was the official beginning of Freshers’ Fortnight, so naturally the atmosphere was buzzing with excitement and anticipation for the night’s events. There was nothing to set aside this night from the rest of the parties, apart from a drunken chant of “Cardiff, Cardiff, Cardiff” at the end, but nevertheless it still instilled a sense of unity and pride amongst us freshers.

It would be wrong to write a summary of the Freshers’ experience without mentioning a few of the drawbacks.

For starters, it seemed a little ironic that in an age of concern for the environment, a not-sosmall forest appeared to have been destroyed in order for masses of practically identical leaflets to be produced and distributed.

Whether they were crammed into our mailboxes, stuffed through our windows or forced into our hands as we walked through Park Place, surely nobody can argue in their favour. In a flat of seven, there were no less than 18 fliers for Tiger Tiger’s Vodka Island event, as well as

endless reams of Oceania and Walkabout promotions.

It’s all very well to try and draw in customers, but the sea of soggy waste that carpeted the streets for the remainder of the week was nothing short of an eyesore, and begged the question “what was the point?”

If one thing can be learnt from the 2007 Freshers process, it should surely be that there is no demand for a constant flow of redundant fliers. At the end of the day, even without advertising, people would still have visited these places, and the environment would have been a lot better off too.

Confessions of a second year I came back to Cardiff nice Lee Macaulay Investigations Editor and early this year to take advantage of the social aspects that I’d been missing while I was back home in the bustling metropolis of Kendal, Cumbria (we make mint cake don’t you know?).

By the second week of September, I was all but moved in, ready for a messy freshers’ week.

Which never really happened.

Maybe my 19 years on the planet have let me down or I seemingly realised how much more this year meant to my degree but I hardly went out in freshers’ week at all, once or twice, but nothing like the seven day free-for-all that the first week of living in Talybont South was.

It could be because I was seriously low on money because of last year’s overdraft or even the new-found responsibility from having to edit a section in gair rhydd every week.

Maybe it’s because I live with one of the most hard working

houses in Cathays included two medics, an engineering student and a computer science student who has recently given up drinking. I, on the other hand, have a massive 12 hours a week to worry about, so understandably they’re less inclined to dance the night away at Rubber Duck.

But the more I think about it, freshers’ week should be for the first years.

I’m set in my ways after all, my friendship groups, where I go out, the societies I’m in. Freshers’ Fortnight is all about new beginnings, new (maybe not long lasting) friends and a new lifestyle.

So you freshers need to take note, don’t throw away your first year because it’s the best time in the whole of your time in Cardiff to actually do anything whether it’s go out and get wasted every night or something a bit more worthwhile like volunteering or sport.

Hopefully next year, I’ll take some of my own advice and change things up in Freshers’ Fortnight.

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gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

23

JOBS & MONEY

JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

Are you being served?

Jess Best Jobs and Money Editor

F

or most of us, university symbolises those final three years of freedom before a lifetime of nine to fives. School and university careers services are intended to help us make the right choices but recent reports suggest they are failing in this role.

Cardiff University’s careers service have definitely got dedication. Once enrolled as a Cardiff student, you are

entitled not only to use their resources at any time during your studies, but also for the rest of your life.

So whether your CVs looking a bit bare, or you’re after a career change brought on by a mid-life crisis, they should be there to give you some advice.

However, a large population of students have never even set foot inside 5 Corbett Road (the careers office in case you‘re wondering). And just how satisfied are those that do?

A recent YouGov survey of 18 to 30 year olds revealed that careers advice

Have your say....

How useful did you find the “My Future” careers fair?

Danny Pugh, third year astrophysics student: “I was a bit dssappointed. It was smaller than I expected and too broad. I couldn’t get any information on my degree, and specific questions were answered with directions to Colum Road.”

Rachel Hugh, fourth year French and Welsh student: “Today didn’t give me specific answers, but I’ve picked up loads general information. I would definately go to more events like this.”

Anna Griffiths, fourth year French and Italian student: “I found it really helpful. I have no idea what I want to do and didn’t realise the number of events happening.”

Mark Crawford, third year psychology and criminology student: “The free employer directories alone made it worth my time. The advice seemed well informed and I got useful information on my post-grad options.”

What’s on...

Jobs and Money looks at Cardiff Careers Service programme for this semester Careers 4 Engineers

Tuesday 16th, Wednesday 17th amd Thursday 18th October 10am-5pm in the Trevithick Building

Careers 4 Scientists

Tuesday 23rd October, 11am-4pm in the Main Building

Finance 4 All and Accountancy 4 All

Tuesday 30th and Wednesday 31st October, 12 noon-5pm in the Julian Hodge Building

Skills 4 U

Tuesday 6th November, 9am-5.30pm in the Glamorgan Building.

Cardiff Law Fair

Tuesday 21st November, 12-3pm in City Hall

TDA Career in Teaching Event

Thursday 25th October, 5pm-8pm in the Glamorgan Building. Register for this event at www.teach.gov.uk/events.

Work Experience Roadshow

Monday 15th, Tuesday 16th, Wednesday 17th October. Various times and locations around the university. See www.cardiff.ac.uk/carsv for details of this and other events.

Next week: Jobs and Money reviews the Work Experience Roadshows

in schools has been found wanting.

One in ten people claimed that they had received no careers advice at all during their education, and only 35% felt that formal advice helped them to make decisions about their future careers.

First impressions count, and initially the event was underwhelming The report revealed an over-riding sense that careers advice confused rather than informed, leading people to turn to friends or the internet for support.

The situation is affecting industries as well, with many insiders claiming the confusion is seeing them lose out on potentially talented applicants.

So is this the case at university level in Cardiff? Last week’s “My Future” careers fair in the Great Hall was the first of this year’s events designed to help point students in the right direction, whether its post-graduate study, graduate training schemes or any of the other frighteningly large number of options available.

They say first impressions count, and initially the event was a little underwhelming.

The large amount of leaflets and literature handed to you as you walk through the door and the stacks of paper on each stand may not have been exactly what you had in mind when you thought “My Future,” but persevere.

There was information on postgraduate study, work experience, volunteering opportunities, and details of future events providing the chance to meet potential employers.

There were free copies of employer directories and information on student development programmes and qualifications.

Despite all this, the information was quite general, so it follows that perhaps the most useful stands were the “My Degree” tables.

School specific employment information was available, but more useful than that, the service has individual staff members specialising in your degree scheme.

The YouGov report concluded that careers services could be improved by being more personalised and engaging.Having members of staff whom you can approach and talk to helps to develop this much more than being swamped with literature. Such a deluge does little to lessen the confusion.

The careers service has an extensive library for your reference, but it is the career consultations which bring everything together.

When put in context and made relevant to you, it is worth getting through the reading. It won’t provide any answers just yet, but it’ll give you a good idea of your options.

Having members of staff you can approach helps much more than being swamped with literature The work experience stand was run

by GoWales, who work in conjunction with the careers service to provide paid work placements and help with job hunting after you’ve graduated.

If you want summer placements or

tasters in your chosen industry, they can sort it for you.

However, there is a catch. Because they’re funded by the Welsh assembly, they can only help with placements and information in Wales.

This is undoubtedly a great boost for Welsh industries, but for a university with a large proportion of students not only from England and the other home countries, but foreign students too, this can be a bit limiting.

If you are looking for placements outside of Wales, you will be directed to contact the university closest to your home.

Other universities may charge for their services, and it is somewhat surprising and frustrating that your university isn’t able to provide this for you. In addition, anyone looking for information about life after uni that doesn’t revolve around employment may find themselves drawing a blank.

Other aspects of the event demonstrated what’s on offer to all students, not just those in their final year. Workshops for CV writing and interview skills are available, as well as specialist careers presentations.

Practical information such as how to apply for jobs and how to develop contacts is much more likely to help you make decisions, but the fact that many people at the event were third or fourth years attending their first careers service event perhaps demonstrates an alienation from the process.

If you‘ve got the motivation, the careers service could do wonders for you. Combining standard information with experts in your area, it appears to be designed to reduce the confusion described in the YouGov report.

The mounds of general information can make it difficult to see where it applies to you, but make them work for you. It’s what they’re there for.

Graduate No idea what you want to do when you graduate?

Jobs and Money looks at what young graduates are up to now

H

annah

Pead, 23, graduated from Reading University with a BA War, Peace and International Relations. She now works as a Junior Assistant for the Bank of Montreal.

What is your full job title?

Junior Assistant for the Equity Products department.

Where are you based?

I work for the Bank of Montreal, a Canadian investment bank set up in the 1800s.

I work in their London offices in the city’s financial district. There’s a huge trading floor with equities desks, traders brokers etc.

Briefly describe what your job involves.

I’m an assistant to the team, I’m an all rounder really. My responsibilities involve sorting out presentations, collating research, diary management, organising travel itineraries, booking flights, arranging lunches and meetings, and lots of last-minute stuff.

I really have to think on my feet. I do some PA work to the Managing Director for UK Equity as well.

How did you go about applying for the job?

I was not entirely sure what area I wanted to go into after I grauduated, so I went to a recruitment agency called Joyce Guinness who were fantastic. They found me the interview in a day and I started less than a day later.

It’s never usually that fast, but it pays to make a good impression on the recruiters as they essentially open the gateway to decent interviews.

I was interviewed by about four different people, which lasted two hours.

What is the best/worst thing about your job?

I can’t complain really. A salary for a first timer in London is great, the benefits are superb, and I get to go to a few corporate dinners and drinks with the traders which can be fun!

Perhaps being under appreciated or occasionally getting the coffee is the worst, but that’s still not too bad.

What advice would you give to students thinking of entering a similar field?

If you have an economic or finance degree there are some really amazing graduate programmes out there.

Apart from that I would advise people to keep your options open; some jobs are never what they seem.

If it’s specifically stock markets or investment banking you wish to get into, a year’s placement is a good idea Some things you can’t learn about in a book; experience is vital too.

Do you know someone who has recently graduated? Get in touch with us at jobs@gairrhydd.com

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

TELEVISION

TV@gairrhydd.COM

HOT

25

!TELLY!

NOT

in Technicolour

Britney: It’s Britney Bitch! So yes, we rib her a bit, and yes, she may not be the most suited to motherhood, and yes, she may have stopped wearing underwear and started getting her tits out and drinking lots and smoking lots, and she hasn’t released an album for like, three or four years, and she may be a bad miming stripper, but she’s hot!.

Her new song, Gimme More, is surprisingly good, it’s not like she wrote it or anything, but still...

Britney: It’s Britney Bitch! So yes, we rib her a bit, and with good reason, she’s a terrible mother, and she’s stopped wearing underwear, no one wants to see that, and she’s getting sort of naked quite often, but it’s not hot, it’s just sad. She is downing drink and some sort of presciption drug, along with bodily fluids of random blokes, if the rumours are to be believed. Her new song is alright, but she didn’t write it, and her vocals have been really altered.

FILMS

SOAPS

Fist Of Fury, five, Monday Bruce Lee is super amazing in this legendary kung fu movie.

Bruce Lee’s character, Chen Jeh, is a student at a Chinese martial arts school, they fight a Japanese karate school, everybody is kung fu fighting etc.

Hey kiddies, this week in soap is so exciting we’ve made the box bigger. First off it’s still very much all about Eastenders. Jane’s been shot in the stomach by Steven (which is amazing cos if we are honest with ourselves we wanted Jane dead.) She was a bit weird and had silly hair. Plus she shagged Grant and that’s just not on.

Lucy obviously lies for Steven because she has mind aids.

Neighbours is pretty good as well, there is a car crash at the wedding and who knows someone might die. Hollyoaks, the sexy soap, gets a little less sexy and a lot more gritty cos Sean remember Sean, the one Justin and Warren bumped off.

Yeah him, his body has been found. Someone is going to jail.

Hopefully by some crazy sort of magic it will be Katy. I hate her, she has a face which is a cross between a mouse and a squirrel.

Lady Vengence, C4, Monday Did you like Oldboy? If so you might like this. This is another film in Park Chan-wook’s revenge trilogy, so that means it’s South Korean and very violent and bloody and junk. Having spent thirteen years in jail, our heroine Lee Young-ae is out for revenge.

The Departed, Sky Movies, All Week If you are lucky enough to have Sky then you can enjoy one of the best films of recent years.

Scorcese’s remake of Infernal Affairs stars Matt Damon, Leo Di Caprio and Jack Nicholson.

It’s a tale of police corruption in Boston, a must-see movie!

Timmy Mallett of Wide Awake Club and Wacaday fame made a recent appearance at the oh so amazing Liquid. No really, he was there yellow suit, mallet and all. Things don’t appear to have changed on the surface for the old Mallet, his face is as irritating as ever and he still dresses like a new rave version of MC Hammer aka a knobend. Yet things are not quite right. For one his catchphrase is no longer ‘utterly brilliant’ but more along the lines of ‘YOU’RE A TWAT YOU’RE A TWAT YOU’RE A TWAT YOU’RE A TWAAAAAAT’. He also requested all the young ladies (I use the term ladies loosely) to get their tits out. Now I’m not too sure if this etiquette would go down too well on CBBC but who knows times have changed. His presence irked me much as nothing is more terrifying than watching jaded television stars trying to gain some sense of self worth from a gaggle of drunken youths who are more interested in the girls popping their tits out. Is nothing sacred anymore? Why can’t the heroes of our childhood remain exactly that instead of fannying about trying to be down with the kids? Mallett dear sir, you have let down a generation. YOU’RE A TWAT.

ADVERTS

Serious Cat

Everyone knows a twat like Mickey. If you haven’t seen this advert then you obviously don’t watch TV. Maybe you’re one of those loathsome individuals who’s above’ TV. Anyway, although we’ve seen it a million times we had to do a google search to remember what it was for, can you remember?

Fudge Tunnel

Bulimia nervosa : Commonly known as bulimia, is an eating disorder and psychological condition in which the subject engages in recurrent binge eating followed by feelings of guilt, depression, and self-condemnation and intentional purging to compensate for the excessive eating, usually to prevent weight gain (see anorexia nervosa).

26 gairrhydd OCTOBER.15.2007

TELEVISION

TV@gairrhydd.COM

MONDAY Wales Today BBC1 1.30pm

History BBC2 4.00am

BBC 1

BBC 2

The Ferret ITV1 7.30pm

15th October White Cane Safety Day

How Toxic Are You? Payback C4 8.00pm five 10.00pm

ITV 1

Channel 4

Five

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am The Farm Revealed 10:00am Power to the People 10:30am KNTV 11:00am The Deadly Knowledge Show 11:30am KNTV - Philosophy Countdown 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Room for Improvement 1:00pm A Place in the Sun Revisited 1:30pm Crash Dive 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm Dawson’s Creek

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Real Rescues 10:00am Homes Live 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 10:30am The Flying Gardener 10:45am Family Xchange 11:30am am.pm 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News Headlines 11:15am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Wales Today; Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Dirty Rotten Cheater 3:20pm BBC News and Weather 3:25pm CBBC: Arthur 3:50pm The Cramp Twins 4:00pm The Cramp Twins 4:15pm Skunk Fu 4:30pm Best of Friends

1:00pm Golf: World Match Play

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

5:00pm Chute! 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours

5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:00pm Britain’s Best Dish

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:30pm five news

6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Waterloo Road

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm James May’s 20th Century 8:00pm The Restaurant

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Ferret 8:00pm The Bill

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: 4 New Sensations 8:00pm Beauty Addicts: How Toxic Are You?

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm five news 7:25pm Mad For Music 7:30pm Massive Machines 8:00pm How to Be a Property Developer

9:00pm Who Do You Think You Are?

9:00pm The Life and Times of Vivienne Vyle 9:30pm The Peter Serafinowicz Show 10:00pm The Graham Norton Show 10:30pm Newsnight

9:00pm The Whistleblowers

9:00pm Meet The Natives

9:00pm The Hotel Inspector

10:00pm Commando: On the Front Line 10:30pm ITV News and Weather

10:00pm Without a Trace

10:00pm Payback 10:45pm 30 Rock

11:20pm Why Democracy? Please Vote For Me 12:15am Joins BBC News 24 2:00am History: The Cold War 4:00am History

11:05pm Shoplifters - Caught on Camera 11:35pm Waterfront 12:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

11:00pm The Beginner’s Guide to...

Yoga 12:00am 4Music Presents...

Stereophonics: You Choose 12:05am Will and Grace 12:40am Will and Grace 1:35am The Osbournes

11:15pm A Girl’s Guide to 21st Century Sex 12:05am PartyPoker.net World Open III 1:35am Major League Baseball 5:10am Seniors Golf

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:35pm Dragon’s Eye

11:05pm Question Time of Friends 11:50pm The Ex 1:15am Weatherview 1:20am Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2:20am Sign Zone: Michael Palin’s New Europe 3:20am Sign Zone:Kitchen Criminals 3:50am Joins BBC News 24

PICK OF THE DAY Panorama - Is America Ready for a Black President? , BBC1, 8.30pm AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Of course bloody not, America isn’t even ready for black people! Barack could discover the cure for cancer, AIDS and find Emelia Earhart all at the same time and he still would have as much chance as Jack the Ripper of getting elected. Actually, Jack the Ripper would have more of a chance even if his main policy was ‘killing more people’. To even consider Barack as having the slightest chance says a lot about how misguided people are when it comes to how far race relations have come. I don’t like to leave things on a sour note, so I will say that it is pretty snazzy that he is giving it a go. Maybe one day, in decades to come, America will be ready - but I’m not overly optimistic.

1:20pm Russell Grant’s Postcards 1:35pm The Big Valley - The Road to Nowhere 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Robinson Crusoe

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

TELEVISION

TV@gairrhydd.COM

TUESDAY Bargain Hunt BBC1 12.15pm

In Search Of Perfection

BBC2 8.30pm

27

16th October World Food Day

Karaoke Queen ITV1 12.30am

Get Me the Producer

C4 9.30am

The Yorkshire Ripper five 8.00pm

BBC 1

BBC 2

ITV 1

Channel 4

Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Real Rescues 10:00am Homes Live 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 10:50am Primary History 11:10am Primary Geography 11:30am Famous People 11:45am Famous People 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:05am ITV News Headlines 11:10am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Get Me the Producer 10:30am Who Really Runs the World 11:30am TV Is Dead? 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Room for Improvement

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm Dawson’s Creek

1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Wales Today; Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Dirty Rotten Cheater 3:20pm BBC News and Weather 3:25pm CBBC: Arthur 3:50pm The Cramp Twins 4:00pm The Cramp Twins 4:15pm Skunk Fu 4:25pm Bernard 4:30pm Prank Patrol

1:00pm Friends and Heroes 1:30pm Open Gardens 2:00pm am.pm 3:00pm Snooker

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

1:30pm A Place in the Sun 2:00pm World for Ransom 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:20pm Russell Grant’s Postcards 1:30pm Seduced 3:30pm five news update 3:35pm Another Day

5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours

5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:00pm Britain’s Best Dish

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:30pm five news

6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm EastEnders

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Nigel Marven’s Shark Island

8:00pm Holby City

8:00pm Oz and James’s Big Wine Adventures 8:30pm Heston Blumenthal: In Search of Perfection

8:00pm Who Millionaire?

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Frieze! It’s Art, Don’t You Know 8:00pm Jamie at Home 8:30pm The Wild Gourmets

9:00pm Spooks

9:00pm Classical Star

9:00pm Britain’s Biggest Storm

9:00pm Bringing Up Baby

9:00pm CSI: Miami

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:35pm Week In, Week Out

10:00pm The Grumpy Guide to... Teenagers 10:30pm Newsnight

10:30pm ITV News and Weather

10:00pm Phil Spector’s Demons

10:00pm CSI: NY

11:05pm Film 2007 with Jonathan Ross 11:35pm White Sands 11:55pm Massacre in Rome 1:40am Weatherview 1:45am Sign Zone: Countryfile Summer Diaries 2:45am Sign Zone: China’s Terracotta Army 3:45am Sign Zone: James May’s 20th Century

11:20pm Snooker: Grand Prix Highlights 11:50pm Why Democracy? Danish Cartoons 12:45am Snooker: Grand Prix Highlights 1:35am Snooker: Grand Prix Extra 2:00am Italianissimo 12:00pm The Daily Politics

11:05pm Extreme Rescue 11:40pm The Guest List 12:05am I’ve Lost My Home: Tonight 12:30am Karaoke Queen 1:25am Champions League Weekly 1:50am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am Vanessa’s Real Lives 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

11:00pm Bodyshock: The Riddle of the Elephant Man 11:05pm Van Wilder 12:45am Sympathy for Lady Vengeance 3:00am 4 Music: Mobileact Unsigned 4:00am Citizen UK 4:25am Citizen UK 4:50am Shakespeare Schools Drama Festival 5:40am Maths Mansion 5:50am Maths Mansion

11:00pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent 11:05pm Fist of Fury 1:05am NFL Live 4:50am NASCAR Nextel Cup 5:40am European Drag Racing

Wants

To

Be

a

PICK OF THE DAY Spooks, BBC1, 9.00pm OMG!!! NEW SERIES!!! SPOOKS!!! I am giddy with joy at having more Rupert Penry-Jones on television. Yes, he is in that ridiculous Tesco advert with what’s her face off Eastenders, everyone makes mistakes. Not usually as big but I’m willing to let it go.

He does really come into his own when he is killing people and walking around London town looking perplexed. In the first episode of the new series, there is a lot of stuff about terrorism and some mention of Iran. This is all very dull and expected but there is bound to be lots of running and someone will die. And lets not forget Rupert Penry-Jones....yummmm!

8:00pm The Yorkshire Ripper - Mind of a Killer: Revealed

28 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

TELEVISION

TV@gairrhydd.COM

WEDNESDAY The Green Green Grass BBC1 7.30pm

History Detectives BBC2 6.30pm

BBC 1

BBC 2

Loose Women ITV1 12.30pm

17th October Black Poetry Day

Private Hell C4 2.00pm

Men of Honor five 10.00pm

ITV 1

Channel 4

Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Real Rescues 10:00am Homes Live 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 11:10am The Lost City of Roman Britain: A Meet the Ancestors Special

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:05am ITV News Headlines 11:10am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Get Me the Producer 10:30am Fame Asylum 11:30am TV Is Dead?

12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Room for Improvement

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm Dawson’s Creek

1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Wales Today; Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Dirty Rotten Cheater 3:20pm BBC News and Weather 3:25pm CBBC:Arthur 3:50pm The Cramp Twins 4:00pm The Cramp Twins 4:15pm Skunk Fu 4:25pm Bernard 4:30pm SMart 5:00pm Blue Peter 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours

1:00pm See Hear 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Snooker

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

1:30pm A Place in the Sun 2:00pm Private Hell 36 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:25pm Russell Grant’s Postcards 1:35pm Hart to Hart: Two Harts in 3/4 Time 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Murder at the Presidio

5:15pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 5:45pm Flog It!

5:00pm Britain’s Best Dish

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:30pm five news

6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm The Green Green Grass

6:30pm The History Detectives 7:00pm Match of the Day Wales

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: 4 New Sensations

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Nigel Marven’s Shark Island 8:00pm My Body Hell

8:00pm The Bill

8:00pm Supernanny

9:30pm The Restaurant

9:00pm Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous

9:00pm Location, Location, Location: Best and Worst Live!

9:00pm How Marriage

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:40pm Match of the Day

10:30pm Newsnight

10:30pm ITV News and Weather

10:40pm Dispatches: Abortion: What We Need to Know

10:00pm Men of Honor

11:35pm White Sands 11:50pm The Ex 1:10am Weatherview 1:15am Sign Zone:See Hear 1:45am Sign Zone:Mountain 2:45am Sign Zone:Grumpy Old Holidays 3:15am Sign Zone:Kitchen Criminals 3:45am Joins BBC News 24

11:20pm Snooker: Grand Prix Highlights 12:10am Snooker: Grand Prix Extra 2:00am Intermediate/Higher History 2:30am Intermediate/Higher History

11:05pm Extreme Rescue 11:50pm Shane Richie’s Orange Playlist 12:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am Quincy, ME 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

11:00pm Bodyshock: The Riddle of the Elephant Man 11:45pm Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip 12:05am The Fanbanta Football Show 12:40am Bluesqpoker. com Grosvenor UK Poker Tour 1:40am KOTV 2:05am Avon Tyres British GT Championship 2:35am Racing Rivals

12:00am Shock Docs: America’s Deadliest Gang 1:00am USPGA Golf 1:50am USPGA Golf 2:40am Seniors Golf 3:30am V8 Supercars 5:10am Race and Rally UK 5:35am Motorsport Mundial

8:00pm Watchdog 8:30pm Rogue Traders 9:00pm The Nature of Britain 9:50pm The Nature of Britain

PICK OF THE DAY Shane Richie’s Playlist, ITV1, 11.50pm One can only imagine the pure joy that would be the contents of happy-go-lucky Shane Richie’s ipod. It could be utterly predictable and full of life affirming anthems courtesy of M People with a couple of showtunes chucked in.

OR it could be the most amazing thing ever and Richie boy could unveil a passion for Slipknot, Trivium and other such loud shouty things. Maybe even some dismal Radiohead. This could then lead to him confessing a history of crippling depression to Jayne Middlemiss who in turn breaks down about her flagging career. This could happen!!!!! It could be the best thing to happen in TV ever.

I can’t wait!

to

Have

Sex

After

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007 TV@gairrhydd.COM

THURSDAY Doctors BBC1 2.05pm

Heroes BBC2 11.20pm

29

TELEVISION 18th October Alaska Day

The Ferret ITV1 7.30pm

Just Shoot Me C4 8.00am

The Big Game five 1.30pm

BBC 1

BBC 2

ITV 1

Channel 4

Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Real Rescues 10:00am Homes Live 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 10:30am The Flying Gardener 10:45am Family Xchange 11:30am am.pm 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:05am ITV News Headlines 11:10am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:00am The Cubeez 6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Get Me the Producer 10:30am My Crazy Life 11:00am My Crazy Life 11:30am TV Is Dead? 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Room for Improvement

6:00am Kids Tv 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm Dawson’s Creek

1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Wales Today; Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Dirty Rotten Cheater 3:20pm BBC News and Weather 3:25pm CBBC:Arthur 3:50pm The Cramp Twins 4:00pm The Cramp Twins 4:15pm Skunk Fu 4:30pm Best of Friends 5:00pm Chute! 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours

1:00pm Snooker

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

1:30pm The Savoy: Checking into History 1:50pm Boomerang! 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:20pm Russell Grant’s Postcards 1:30pm The Big Game 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534

5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:00pm Britain’s Best Dish

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:30pm five news

6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm EastEnders 8:00pm Waterloo Road

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 8:00pm The Truth about Property

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm The Ferret 8:00pm The Bill

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: 4 New Sensations 8:00pm Beauty Addicts: How Toxic Are Your Kids?

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm five news 7:15pm Nigel Marven’s Shark Island 8:00pm How to Be a Property Developer

9:00pm Who Do You Think You Are?

9:00pm The Life and Times of Vivienne Vyle 9:30pm The Peter Serafinowicz Show 10:00pm The Graham Norton Show 10:30pm Newsnight

9:00pm The Whistleblowers

9:00pm Searching for Madeleine: A Dispatches Special 10:00pm Without a Trace

9:00pm The Hotel Inspector

11:20pm Heroes 12:05am Kath And Kim 12:30am Snooker: Grand Prix Highlights 1:20am Snooker: Grand Prix Extra 2:00am Curriculum Bites: Future Landscapes 4:00am Class Clips

11:05pm Waterfront 11:35pm Fans TV 11:50pm Shane Richie’s Orange Playlist 12:15am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:35pm Dragon’s Eye

11:05pm Question Time 11:50pm The Ex 1:15am Weatherview 1:20am Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2:20am Sign Zone: Michael Palin’s New Europe 3:20am Sign Zone: Kitchen Criminals 3:50am Joins BBC News 24

10:00pm Police, Camera, Action!

10:30pm ITV News and Weather

PICK OF THE DAY Beginner’s Guide to Voodoo, C4, 11.00pm I am genuinely excited about this. Preston, of some crappy indie band fame, is going to Benin to hang out and be cool with some locals. Not only that but he is going to learn about Voodoo! Voodoo is the coolest of all the religions mainly because it involves dolls and everyone loves dolls. I had intense relationships with my Barbie and Captain Planet dolls which I’m really only allowed to discuss with my therapist, but yeah, wild times!

Anyway, it does sound amazing and apparently one of the voodoo priests tells Preston his marriage isn’t going to last. Now I could have told him that, this clearly means I am a voodoo priestess. I already have the dolls...

11:00pm The Beginner’s Guide to... Voodoo 11:45pm Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip 12:45am Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip 1:45am The Osbournes 2:10am The Osbournes 2:40am Your Face or Mine? 3:05am Greetings from Tucson 3:30am One-Eyed Jacques

10:00pm Men of Honor 10:40pm 30 Rock 11:10pm A Girl’s Guide to 21st Century Sex 12:30am PartyPoker.net World Open III 2:00am Major League Baseball 5:10am A1 Grand Prix

30 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

TELEVISION

TV@gairrhydd.COM

FRIDAY Nigella Express BBC1 1.55am

A Passion for Plants BBC2 8.00pm

BBC 1

19th October Mother Teresa Day (Albania)

Britain’s Best Dish ITV1 5.00pm

BBC 2

Stepmom C4 8.00pm

Columbo five 12.55pm

ITV 1

Channel 4

Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Real Rescues 10:00am Homes Live 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Car Booty 12:05pm Question Time 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 10:30am Seasonal Snapshots 10:50am Seasonal Snapshots 11:10am Look and Read 11:30am Watch 11:45am Pod’s Mission 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:05am ITV News Headlines 11:10am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Will and Grace 9:00am Frasier 9:30am Get Me the Producer 10:30am Get Me the Producer 11:30am TV Is Dead? 12:00pm T4: Transmission With T-Mobile 12:30pm T4: Friends

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am five news 11:35am Wildlife SOS 12:00pm To Be Announced 12:55pm Columbo: Old Fashioned Murder

1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Wales Today; Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Dirty Rotten Cheater 3:20pm BBC News and Weather 3:25pm CBBC:

1:30pm Snooker

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

1:00pm T4 on the Beach: Charmed 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing 4:05pm Red Bull Air Race

2:25pm Irreconcilable 4:20pm The News Boys

5:25pm Neighbours

5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:00pm Britain’s Best Dish

5:10pm The Golden Child

6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm My Family 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Coal House

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 8:00pm A Passion for Plants 8:30pm Gardeners’ World

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Outing the Touts: Tonight 8:30pm Airline

6:45pm Channel 4 News 7:15pm Deal or No Deal 8:00pm Stepmom

9:00pm After You’ve Gone 9:30pm Have I Got News for You

9:00pm The Tudors

9:00pm Rebus

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross

10:00pm QI 10:30pm Newsnight

10:30pm ITV News and Weather

10:20pm To Be Announced

10:10pm Law and Order: SVU

11:35pm Not Going Out 12:05am This Week 12:50am Weatherview 12:55am Sign Zone: Who Do You Think You Are? 1:55am Sign Zone: Nigella Express 2:25am Sign Zone: Kitchen Criminals 2:55am Joins BBC News 24

11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm A Tribute to Ned Sherrin: Comedy Connections: That Was the Week that Was 11:20pm Heroes 12:05am Snooker: Grand Prix Highlights 12:55am Snooker: Grand Prix Extra 2:00am GCSE Bitesize Revision 4:00am GCSE Bitesize Revision

11:05pm Rugby World Cup Highlights 11:35pm Fans TV 12:05am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:05am The Jeremy Kyle Show 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

11:35pm 4 Music: Transmission With T-Mobile 12:35am 4 Music:Beat Stevie 12:50am 4 Music: 4Play: Craig David 1:10am 4 Music: Trocabrahma 2007 1:55am 4 Music: Dubplate Drama 2:25am 3 Minute Wonder: Behind the Hoodie 2:30am Searching for Madeleine: A Dispatches Special 3:30am Goalissimo!

11:10pm Criminal Minds 12:00am Quiz Call

Newsround

5:35pm

PICK OF THE DAY Ugly Betty, C4, 9.00pm I’m well gutted about missing all the new episodes of the new series. I’ve been too busy doing cool things with really cool people...yeah I’m cool. This week Betty does more things in the fashion industry while looking like an absolute mess. A man also delivers some sandwiches. All very exciting stuff. I am a bit boggled as to why Betty needs to look as rough as she does, surely she has picked up some tips from all the beautiful people? Is it so hard to get some GHDs involved... and possibly even a hairclip? Ugliness for no reason makes me sadfaced and a little scared....

I’m going to have to leaf through a copy of Super Super just to feel good again.

Differences

6:30pm 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain 8:00pm five news and sport 8:15pm NCIS

9:10pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

32 gairrhydd OCTOBER.15.2007

TELEVISION

TV@gairrhydd.COM

SUNDAY Traffic Cops BBC1 9.00pm

University Challenge Loose Women BBC2 8.00pm ITV1 12.30pm

BBC 1

BBC 2

ITV 1

21th October World Standards Day

Trainspotting C4 11.40pm

Joey five 12.30pm

Channel 4

Five

6:00am Breakfast 7:40am Moto GP 2007 9:00am The Andrew Marr Show 10:00am The Big Questions 11:00am Countryfile 1 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am Teletubbies 6:30am Balamory 6:50am Step Inside 7:00am Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Wink 7:20am Pinky and the Brain 7:40am Even Stevens 8:05am The Basil Brush Show 8:30am SMart 9:35am Match of the Day 11:00am Something for the Weekend 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:20am Captain Flamingo 7:50am Ben 10 8:30am SpongeBob SquarePants 8:50am Bratz 9:25am Sunday Edition 10:25am The Championship 11:25am Soccer Sunday 12:30pm Loose Women

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am The Hoobs 7:05am Trans World Sport 7:55am Racing Rivals 8:25am Triathlon 8:55am T4:The OC 10:00am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Room for Improvement

6:00am Kids TV 11:30am Beyond the Break 12:00pm Home and Away 12:30pm Joey

1:00pm BBC News; Weather 1:30pm Regional News and Weather 1:40pm Neighbours 2:05pm Doctors 2:35pm Dirty Rotten Cheater 3:20pm BBC News and Weather 3:25pm CBBC: Arthur 4:00pm Raven 4:35pm Lizzie McGuire

1:00pm No Variations 1:10pm To Be Announced 1:30pm Wild in Africa 2:15pm Escape to the Country 3:15pm Open Gardens 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 1:54pm ITV Weather 1:55pm Regional News & Weather 2:00pm To Be Announced 3:00pm The Alan Titchmarsh Show 3:58pm Regional Weather 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

1:30pm A Place in the Sun 2:00pm The Black Swan 3:30pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:00pm Joey 1:20pm Russell Grant’s Postcards 1:35pm A Change of Place 3:35pm five news update 3:40pm Hostile Advances: the Kerry Ellison Story

5:00pm Sarah Jane Adventures 5:25pm Newsround 5:35pm Neighbours

5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:00pm Britain’s Best Dish

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:30pm five news

6:00pm BBC News and Weather 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm Street Doctor

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 6:58pm ITV Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Kids Conference at Tate 8:00pm Dispatches

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm five news 7:30pm Human Guinea Pigs 8:00pm Fifth Gear

8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Panorama

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 7:00pm No Variations 7:30pm Mastermind 8:00pm University Challenge 8:30pm Nigella Express

9:00pm Traffic Cops

9:00pm Dragons’ Den

9:00pm Doc Martin

9:00pm Beckoning Silence

9:00pm Street Crime Live

10:00pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 10:25pm Regional News and Weather 10:35pm Movie Connections

10:00pm Be 10:30pm Newsnight

10:00pm Commando: On the Front Line 10:30pm ITV News and Weather 10:54pm ITV Weather

10:35pm Russell Brand’s Ponderland

10:00pm Banged Up Abroad

11:15pm Inside Sport 11:55pm Film To Be Announced 2:00am Film To Be Announced 1:40am Weatherview 1:45am Sign Zone: Watchdog 2:15am Sign Zone: Holby City 3:15am Sign Zone: Michael Wood: The Story of India 4:15am Sign Zone: Kitchen Criminals 4:45am Joins BBC News 24

11:20pm To Be Announced 11:45pm Heroes 12:25am Film To Be Announced 2:25am Joins BBC News 24

11:00pm Regional News 11:03pm Regional Weather 11:05pm The Food Show 11:40pm The Guest List 11:45pm F1: Brazilian Grand Prix Highlights 12:45am Motorsport UK 1:15am When Time Ran Out 3:15am The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:10am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

11:05pm The Comedy Lab 11:40pm Trainspotting 1:30am Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar 3:35am To Be Announced 4:00am Unreported World 4:30am Headland 5:20am Countdown

11:05pm Billy Bathgate 11:50pm Disorderly Conduct 12:55am Major League Baseball 4:20am Now Is the Time: Night of Combat - Kick Boxing 5:10am Major League Soccer

PICK OF THE DAY The Sopranos, E4, 10.30pm IT’S THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE EVER!!! FOUR PEOPLE DIE!!! Right, deep breath... that’s better.

This episode is entitled ‘The Blue Comet’: that is a type of train, so read into that what you will.

Anyway, the main action focuses around Dr Melfi coming to terms with a new study concerning the effectiveness of therapy on sociopaths. She sort of loses it a bit which is nice to see, like seeing Kate Moss fall over on the catwalk or something, you know? Meanwhile Phil Leotardo makes his play, chaos ensues, blood is shed, who dies? Who survives? Tune in on Sunday to find out! I will tell you Tony survives, but falls asleep clutching an assult rifle, good times in North Jersey.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

33

FIVE MINUTE FUN

FMF@gairrhydd.COM

found on facebook

SUDOKU

Housemate done something stupid?

1. Log on to the book of face 2. Join the group ‘Found on Facebook’ 3. Upload embarrassing photos 4. Pick up gair rhydd on Monday and laugh

Post more filth now !

COMPETITION CROSSWORD Across 1 Propriety (7) 5 Ring (6) 9 Consume (3) 11 Connection (7) 12 Decide (7) 13 Ox (5) 14 Ford (8) 16 Profound (4) 18 Summary (5) 20 Automatic response (6) 21 Belly (7) 23 Speculative view (6) 25 Big cat (5) 27 Pace (4) 29 Proximity (8) 30 Occasions (5) 32 Surrendered (7) 33 Escapologist (7) 34 Observe (3) 35 Maker of headgear (6) 36 Captured again (7)

Down 1 Intentional (10) 2 Great work (7) 3 Ascended (5) 4 Threat (6) 6 Emphatic (9) 7 Officer (7) 8 Equal (4) 10 Company (5) 15 Accounts (7) 17 Phrase (10) 19 Game bird (9) 20 Concerning (2) 22 Beside (2) 24 Factor (7) 26 Device to attract publicity (7) 27 Transmits (5) 28 Old Testament book (6) 30 Confidence (5) 31 Fable (4)

Exercise your mind...

WINonal ers ng p A aini tr sion ses

Then exercise your body at

Put your entries in the competitio

n box outside gair rhydd

Every week gair rhydd will be giving away a gym package to one lucky entrant who correctly completes the competition crossword, courtesy of Dave’s Gym. Every winner will receive a free personal training session with one of our qualified instructors. This can be a gym workout, weight-training, boxing or Thai Boxing session. You will also receive a personalised gym programme and a free guest pass so you can come back for another workout or try one of our studio classes: choose from HipHop, Khai Bo, Bodypump and many more. This prize is worth approximately £35!

Conditions: Use of any of our facilities are subject to our terms and conditions and at the user’s own risk. An appointment must be made for the session. Prize must be claimed within 4 weeks of notification. It is not exchangeable for cash and is not transferable to any other party.

NAME....

EMAIL....

How to enter: Simply complete the crossword opposite and drop it into the crossword competition box outside the gair rhydd office on the 4th floor of the Students’ Union. The first correct entrant to be plucked from the box every week will win the Dave’s Gym package.

34 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

LISTINGS

LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This Week: Cardiff is blessed with musical talents of a little known 80’s band called...‘The Police’! Who are supported by t

Hells Bells 19th Oct @ The Point 7.30pm. £11.

Listings Editor Josie Allchin recommends

T

ribute bands – good thing or a bad thing? Opinion seems to be fairly evenly divided on this matter, and also I guess, it depends on the actual quality of the tribute band in question.

Last week there was a fantastic programme on TV documenting a venue in Crewe especially dedicated to hosting cover bands. Said bands included “Cobain” (Nirvana), “Limehouse Lizzy” (Thin Lizzy), and a Jimmy Hendrix tribute band called something like “Are You Experienced Yet?”. The latter being so dedicated to being exactly like the real thing, the faux Jimmy Hendrix even set his guitar on fire at the end of their performance. One punter was so impressed that he offered to buy the burnt out guitar for £75. But thankfully it seemed most of the cover bands featured were actually all pretty good. No room for dodgy Elvis impersonators here.

Hells Bells, then, an AC/DC cover band

The Police And Mr. Hudson & The Library Fri 19th Oct @ Millennium Stadium Tickets available, contact venue for details

Listings Editor Dan Jones recommends

‘T

he Police’, or as they are more often referred to nowadays, ‘Sting’ (to quote Alan Partridge) have officially reunited this year to embark on a ferociously large world tour. They are, without question, one of the most successful bands of the last 25 years combining a copasetic blend of reggae, rock, pop and soul.

Formed by Yank drummer Stewart Copeland way back in 1977, they enjoyed the bulk of their success in the early 80’s, with world wide classics such as “Roxanne”, “Can’t Stand Losing You”, “Every Breath You Take” and “Message In A Bottle”, not to mention many other great songs. Famed for their thick sound of layered saxophone and various vocal textures, The Police’s rise to fame was rapid and brutal.

As Sting’s popularity started to rise beyond the level of the rest of the band, his relationship with Copeland started to deteriorate which led to their eventual break-up in the mid-80’s. All three pursued solo careers but almost inevitably it was Sting who appeared to enjoy the

who will grace Cardiff Bay with their presence on Friday, can also be counted as one of these genuinely good cover bands. The original rock outfit, hailing from Sydney, were considered pioneers of early heavy metal, alongside acts like Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. They are well known for albums such as “Highway to Hell” and “Back in Black”, which has on it the same titled single that appears on every air-guitar album, and that every kid wants to learn how to play on the guitar.

Hells Bells certainly have quite a legacy to follow. But clearly they seem to do a good job. Hailed as “the greatest AC/DC tribute band in the world” (The Point), they’re bound to get even the biggest and toughest of fans to please up and ready to rock. Hells Bells have toured all around the UK and most of Europe, leaving fans speechless in their wake of over the top guitars and that trademark schoolboy outfit front-man Angus always used to sport.

So, expect all the favourites, including “It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock n’ Roll), “Dog Eat Dog” and “Highway To Hell”, with all the flair and bravado of the real thing that will make a truly unforgettable performance. Although if I’m honest, I can’t wait for “Hells Belles” (see what they did there?), an all female AC/DC cover band to play somewhere near soon...

most success not only as a singer but also an actor.

In March, 2003, the Police were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and performed “Roxanne,” “Message In a Bottle,” and “Every Breath You Take” live, as a group.

Towards the end of the set, Copeland, known for tightening his drum heads until his knuckles turn white, as well as striking the drums with excessive force, was playing the drums so hard that the head of his snare drum broke. Rock. And. Roll. In early 2007, reports surfaced that the trio would reunite for a tour to mark their 30th anniversary, over 20 years since their ‘final’ split in summer 1986. This promises to be an outstanding live performance by a great band, aggrandized by the fact that this is their first real concert together for more than two decades! One not to miss.

Mr. Hudson & The Library are a five piece outfit sporning from both London and Birmingham, and they have created quite a name for themselves on the UK circuit. The Library are no strangers to the Cardiff music scene having performed at Barfly and supported Amy Winehouse at our very own student union this year. Mr. Hudson is a self confessed middle class boy, who studied English at Oxford, and apparently has a fine line in hat wear. However, those of you not already fans be put off at your peril because with a fascinating cross-pollination of hip-hop and R&B beats with classic song writing, this band have hit upon a striking formula attracting plaudits from all corners of

Xpress Radio Gig Of The Week...

Ed Harcourt @ The Point, Thursday 18th October, £12.50 (7.30pm)

F

reshers’ week has been and gone, and you’re probably finding yourself in the throes of freshers’ flu, or avoiding all those dearly beloved who put their affliction down to a vegetablefree student diet.

Acoustic pampering away from the coughing crowds comes in the guise of 28-year old Ed Harcourt, who graces The Point this Thursday with an intimate gig following the release of ‘Until Tomorrow Then’ – a collection of the finest moments of his solo career including new single ‘You Put A Spell on Me’. Last year saw the release of Harcourt’s fifth solo album a mere six years after his debut with ‘Maplewood’ in 2000, and his new release stands as an astute reminder of the depth and quality of his talent.

His live performance promises to be wondrous and a welcome break from snot-filled tissues and hacking coughs.

Listen online at www.xpressradio. co.uk’

the music industry. A truly great new British band, whose success is clearly evident having been asked to support the likes of Amy Winehouse and now The Police. Who says libraries have to be boring.

COMING UP

...Rhianna @ CIA, 19th Dec...Kanye West @ CIA, 27th Nov... Marcus Brigstocke @ The Glee Club. 11th Nov...

Enrique Iglesias @ CIA 15th Nov... Stereophonics + The Enemy @ CIA 19th Nov... Amy Winehouse @ CIA 28th Nov...Fantasmagoria @ CIA 21st Nov...

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

35

LISTINGS

LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

fantastic Mr. Hudson & The Library...

Monday... 15/10

Tuesday... 16/10

Wednesday... 17/10 Thursday... 18/10

Fun Factory @ Solus, SU Cardiff’s own alternative music night. Also features DJing by Oddsoc and bands put on by LMS in the live music room. 10pm - 2am. Free entry with NUS. £3 otherwise.

Snug: Mr Thing + DJ Killer Tomato @ Glo Bar Mr. Thing was the winner of the DMC Scratch Championship 2000 and is current holder of the DMC World Team Scratch Championship with The Scratch Perverts. 9pm - 3am.

Free entry.

An Evening With Blowers: Henry Blofeld @ St. Davids One of Britain’s most celebrated cricket commentators and the doyen of TV’s Test Match Special talks about his life and career. A must for cricket fans. Contact venue for more details.

First Among Equals @ Dempseys Mixing rabid hard rock guitar solos with punk venom and a big fat slab of melody. 8pm. £3.

The Mooney Suzuki + Circuits @ Barfly The Mooney Suzki are New York garage rockers who count The Strokes amongst the rapidly swelling ranks of their fans. £8 advance.

Jeffrey Lewis + Filthy Pedro + Professor Louie @ Clwb Ifor Bach Jeffrey Lewis peddles a similar peddle of lo-fi anti-folk indie singing and songwriting, combining equal measures of humour, innocence, fragility and sadness. 8pm. £6 advance.

Planet Rock @ Clwb Ifor Bach The one and only rock request night, originating from a Cardiff music society way back. You ask, and they play the rock, metal and goth classics.

You can also request via MySpace.com/planet_ rock_club. 9pm - 2pm. £3.

Forecast: Forecast DJ’s @ Buffalo Bar Indie and rock musical sensibilities played in layed back surroundings.

The Blackout + Pierce The Veil + Flood Of Red @ Solus Welsh emo-rockers The Blackout, who in 2006 were nominated for the Kerrang! Best Newcomers Award and have recently been touring with rock-heroes The LostProphets. Known for their passionate and furious live shows, the youthful six-piece use double vocals and searing guitars to create a frenzied sound - which will appeal to both emo and hardcore fans alike.

7.30pm. £7.

The Servant of Two Masters: Wales Theatre Company @ New Theatre An 18th Century style drama documenting the comic confusions of several characters with rather wonderful names such as Truffaldino and Florindo. 7:30pm. Matinees 2:30pm. £23.00 - £7.00 plus concessions.

Planet Rock: Resident DJs @ Clwb Ifor Bach

Rubber Duck @ Solus, SU Dressed up clubbing for jocks and pretend jocks.

10pm. £3.

Popscene @ Clwb Ifor Bach Three floors of great music, including breaks, beats, blues, rock and indie. 10pm - 3am. £4.50/£3 before 11pm.

Real House Presents: DJ Clfford Williams and DJ Bern @ Aqua A new weekly night in conjunction with Real House Records. Expect dance and house music. Contact venue directly for further ticket information.

Experimentica 07’ - Cabba Hey: Mr. and Mrs. Clark @ Chapter Arts Centre Part of a six day programme that includes live art, installations and performances. Sounds all rather pretencious to me. Go to www.chapter.org for more information.

Shy Child + We Smoke Fags @ Barfly Shy Child are a bunch of New York Rockers who play “spangely” electro-disco-synth--could-weadd-many-more-genres-pop, and We Smoke Fags (great name...) are apparently an unusual and exciting blend of all things dark, twisted and fun.

Worth a look. 7.30pm. £7.50.

Pick Of The Day

Cardiff “Flashmob” society social @ Buffalo (upstairs) Cardiff Flashmobbers take over Buffalo with free boilor suits to give out and oompa loompa face painting. They’ll also provide some lovely music including the accoustic act Salvation, and will also be showcasing numurous DJs Dj Jamo, Codney Trout, Human Beatboxers and Astrosnooze. Members go for free.£3 otherwise

Friday... 19/10

Access all Areas @ Solus SU More unadulterated fun at the union, and another way to make people drunk. Promises the best alternative music and beats for you to boogie to.

10pm - 2am. £3.50 / £3 adv.

Intermission @ Koko Gorliaz feat. Captain Phoenix. The Last Republic & The forgotten Sleep Nick Hill, Luke Keyte, Ben Burrows & Ross Curnow are an exciting up and coming indie rock band striving to be the voice of a generation and they go some way in achieving this!

8pm. £4/£5 otd Junk @ Q Bar Stomping techno by Junk Party People including Rowland The Bastard + Rhythm Logistics (room 1); room 2 live bands including Staedler and Waldorf 10pm-6am. £6nus before 12.

A Shape Records Evening: attack+defend, Munch Munch, Frederick Stanely and Culture Vulture DJ’s @ Clwb Ifor Bach attack+defend have a very minimalistic approach when describing what they do, “Aim: Invent music and enjoy; Apparatus: Expensive/very cheap Keyboards, guitars, drums, pedal organs and 3 brothers; Method: +go into a room+ set up equipment + start making noise+ see what happens Contact venue for details.

Pick Of The Day

David Ward, Mary Bourke, Pierre Hollins, David Hadingham @ Jongleurs David Ward Hugely in demand, David Ward is an upbeat comedian with a cynicism that gives his humour a gentle bite. Quick-thinking and original, he is one of the busiest acts on the international circuit and a huge favourite the world over.

8pm (doors 7pm). £8 all tickets.

Cardiff’s hottest rock night downstairs at Ifor Bach. 9pm-2am. £3.

Pick Of The Day

Ray LaMontagne @ St David’s Hall With heartfelt songs and a highly distinctive voice, Ray’s debut album, ‘Trouble’, has led him to be described in terms of Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Otis Redding and Ray Charles, not bad for starters! Apparently, before hitting the big time, he used to live by himself in a log cabin in the mountains... Check venue for info.

Saturday...

20/10

Bass Invaders @ Great Hall, SU feat Beardyman, Andy C, DJ Hype & Sub Focus Legendary Union institution featuring some awesome DJs and a packed dancefloor of drum ‘n’ bass chaos. 9pm, first DJ on at 10pm. £15.

Crasher Presents: Armin Van Buuren + Rank 1 + Blake Jarrell + Alex Kidd + Dave Eaves @ Evolution Armin Van Buuren: Talented Dutch trance DJ who has a huge following both in the UK, Ibiza and the US. Growing up amidst the early 90s dance scene in Holland, his producing career started at an early age. Having snubbed a career in law for life on the decks, it seems he made the right decision!

10pm. £13.50

Ray Quinn @ CIA Absolutely mental. This annoying little scouse ‘crooner’ is closer to the rug-rats than the ratpack, yet he’s playing the CIA. He pissed you off in X-Factor, he’ll piss you off again live.

Unless you’re a woman between 40 and dead and all your children have grown up and left home.

7.30pm. £23 in advance. Unbelievable.

Pick Of The Day

The Proclaimers @ St. David’s Hall The Proclaimers Bespectacled Scottish close harmony folk duo whose chart success spanned the globe and who made Leith famous long before ‘Trainspotting’ was conceived. A good friend of mine once said that The Holloways were the next Proclaimers, but frankly that’s an insult to this harmless tartan double act.

Contact venue for details.

Pick Of The Day

Adele @ Buffalo No, this is not one of the girls from B*Witched trying to make a comeback, but a brand new singer/songwriter, who, at barely 19 has already managed to work with the likes of Jools Holland, Mark Ronson and Jim Abiss. Signed to the label XL, she is due to release her debut album early next year, however her first single “Chasing Pavements” has already recieved radio airplay. Check her out now before she hits the big time. 8pm. £5 adv.

Sunday...

21/10

Open Mike (Upstairs) @ Buffalo Bar Buffalo Sundaes Garden Party: Resident DJs And Guests @ Buffalo Bar A relaxing way to spend your Sunday afternoon/evening, a few drinks and some good tunes. 3pm-11pm. Free entry. Yay!

Swan Lake: St Petersburg Ballet Theatre @ Wales Millennium Centre Swan Lake is a story which mingles the world of magic and mystical creatures with that of the real world. It is a story where betrayal and power are in the end conquered by the virtues of love and forgiveness.

7.30pm. For ticket info please contact the venue directly Buffalo Sundaes Garden Party: Resident DJs And Guests 3pm - 11pm. Freeeeeeeeeeeee!

Pick Of The Day

Tonight Is Goodbye + Not Advised + I Am The Door + Skwad @ Barfly I Am The Door - Bristol-based band playing original and innovative music: a mixture of soft dynamics with powerful harmonies and an emotional background.

Not Advised - Southampton-based pop-punkers who have been ripping up the emo scene and impressing audiences up and down the country. ‘Great tunes, Great Band’ - Kerrang! Radio Tonight Is Goodbye - “Bittersweet melodies, bouncy energy and big choruses packed with poetry..their skill with a melodic hook and a punchy line is undeniable...and the youthful exuberance that drives the whole thing does a sterling job of saving them from being labelled ‘just’ another emo band.” KKK Kerrang. £5 in advance

Baitshop @ Barfly Student clubnight at Cardiff’s most renowned alternative music venue. Playing your usual mix of rock, indie and dance. 10.30pm. £3/£2 with nus.

Acrylic: Resident DJ’s @ Glo Bar Lots of new music at one of Cardfff’s up and coming club venues. £3. Contact venue for times.

Flight Path @ Sherman (showing untill 20th Oct) A story all about an unusual teenager with an unusual teenage rebellion. He’s 18, clever, and has great prospects - but due to an unconventional family life, something’s bound to go wrong along the way... A funny, touching and unflinching portrait of family life, apparently. 8pm. £22/£14.

FutureSounds Presents - Kid Carpet, Evils, Jakokoyak + Sweet Baboo @ Buffalo Kid Carpet is a one-man electronic band, playing broken-hearted modern music, with wit and style (and a few props). Jakokoyak (do you realise how hard that is to type several times?) aka Rhys Edwards, a music student from Bangor, has learnt his musical art - and it shows. Perfect lo-fi melodies with an experimental feel.8pm - 3am. £6.

McQueen + Fresh Fabrick @ Barfly.

Bands Bands and more Bands. £6.

Pick Of The Day

Invisible Bonfires @ Sherman (showing until 20th Oct) As part of their pan-global Tour of International Climate Change Conferences, the fabulous Brittonioni Brothers jet in to chew on the hot potato mishmash of Global Warming.

Run entirely by horse power and hot air, with special guests Mammon and Pan, and Live Music by The Lotus Pedals, this promises to be a comically informative evening. 7.30pm. £22/£24.

Venues...

Students’ Union, Park Place, 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net Barfly, Kingsway, Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff Metros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 Iotos, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com The Point, Cardiff Bay, 029 2046 0873. www.thepointcardiffbay.com

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

PROBLEM PAGE

PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

From the Desk of

D E T

37

e m so

d n Ha

He’s a ruddy good lad.

Ted Handsome’s Places In Cardiff That Should Be Razed to the Ground An Occasional Series

Welcome to Cardiff, Europe’s youngest capital and filled with some pretty ace places. However, it is also home to some of the worst ‘nitespots’ that you wouldn’t wish even on your worst enemy. Wll perhaps your worst enemy, you know somebody that may have ruined your business, or killed a close family member, but definitely not somebody who may have just cut you up on a T-junction or spilled your drink in a bar.

Number 1 - Metros I don’t know about you youngsters, but when I want to go out and pay £6 for a night out, I always think that it’s great when the whole ceiling oozes with the collective sweat of a group of people who haven’t washed since Metal music was cool, ie 1982. I also love it when I get sneered at by old men in faded black t-shirts for not dressing like I’m growing my body hair for charity. I can’t believe that the people that pride themselves on being ‘social outcasts’ are the worst kind of cliquey snobs in the world. Not only that, but the choice of music is utterly excreable. We get 2 straight hours pop punk ‘classix’ before suddenly the DJ gets possessed by the spirit of every single wedding reception DJ, and proceeds to play nothing but the contents of your Dad’s music collection.

It is at this point that every arsehole who has hair longer than his ears, now thinks that it is de rigeur to whip their horrible matted fur all over the shop until every poor sod has been drenched in their sweat and mucus. In addition to this, every bloody Halloween, the place is taken over by fat girls in corsets pretending that they are attractive if they smear their moon-shaped faces in poorly applied lipgloss. Unfortunately, these girls are not even the worst people there. For every fat girl pretending to be an undead princess, there are about a thousand idiots pretending to be either Neo from The Matrix, or The Crow. This is why Metros should be completely and utterly destroyed.

Addendum: It has been pointed out to me, that Metros is actually underground, so to destroy it, I suggest filling it with cement. Preferably at about 0130 on a Thursday morning.

A letter about filthy lucre Dear Ted, Money’s great isn’t it? I bloody love it, although as a poor student, I don’t often get a chance to see it, let alone use it. So, as a wise and great sensei, I was just wondering whether you could give me some tips on either how to get money, or instead how to get by without any?

Yours, Dora Mandible Dora Darling, I’m not going to lie to you, I probably know as much about getting a real job and earning a honest wage, as you do about about the correct way to wear a cravat, i.e. not much. However, I do know a

fair deal about how to squeeze every last penny to save money. You see that newspaper in my photo? I found that in the street.

The croissant I’m eating? Someone was just about to throw that perfect bit of pastry in the bin. The glass of wine? It’s actually dog’s piss. It’s all about the surface. No depth whatsoever for your old pal Theodore. Everybody knows that if you look good, then you are good.

If you want to look wicked cool and important, why not try using an old remote control as a pretend mobile phone? Instant street cred!

Need a trendy new look? Why not try wearing your Grandad’s clothes and sleep in them? Instant junkiechic; Pete Doherty good looks.

Models with loose morals and poor personal hygiene will not be able to keep themselves from rubbing themselves against your greasy frame to get their rocks (of crack) off. Hurrah for all concerned!

However, there are drawbacks to this wholly artificial lifestyle. While during the day you are living the perceived high life, laughing away with moderately attractive youngsters drinking half-price Chardonnay in a small park, at home you are sobbing to yourself, eating corned beef out of an old shoe, before absent-mindedly masturbating into a potato sack. Sill, chin up and all that!

Your old pal, Ted Handsome

A letter about student politics, yeah?

Dear Ted, I am really smug and self satisfied, and there really is nothing I enjoy more than forcing my beliefs onto passers by who merely want to get on with their lives. Therefore I was wondering whether there were any outlets for my needless self-promotion?

Yours, Ken Sooty-Mangabey Ken, My old Grandma used to say, ‘It takes many a mickle to make a muckle.’ However, she was a mad old bag and we had her put down shortly afterwards. Essentially, university is an excellent opportunity for self-involved pricks like yourself to bang on like a midget in

a dustbin about whatever political whim takes their fancy.

If you are of a Conservative nature, then get used to being roundly abused, and being forced to mix with other balding, tweed wearing, personality vacuums. You will spend most of your student life standing alone at the bar sweatily clutching a pint of Bishop’s Cock or whatever other ‘traditional British Ale’ is on tap this week. You will proceed to engage the rest of the people you are forced to hang around with to some bizarre drinking game which involves you drinking 2 pints of weak ale and then throwing up in an empty crisp packet. In short, people will think that you are an arsehole and they will hate you.

If you are of more of a lefty liberal nature, then prepare to get used to standing behind trestle tables with pile upon pile of unsold, badly photocopied pamphlets.

Make sure that you remember to call every other identikit left leaning group ‘Trotskyist revisionists’ and completely disregard their beliefs despite the fact that they are all PRETTY MUCH THE FUCKING SAME AS YOURS. Also, don’t forget to wear your hackneyed Che Guevara t-shirt, and your oh-so-ironic Palestinian desert scarf. In short people will think that you are an arsehole and they will hate you.

Ta-ra!

Ted Handsome

Today, a young gentlemen requested that I go and purchase some cigarellos for him.

When I pointed out the health risks involved, and questionned whether he was of a suitable age to be smoking, he told me that he was going to ‘get his brothers on me.’ This made me laugh heartily at the young rapscallion’s vim and vigour, until several gentlemen wearing hooded tops set upon me with sticks and what I believed to be the stick shift from a 1982 Vauxhall Corsa. Still, the joke was on them, because I never even went to buy the young man cigarettes anyway! TH

38 gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

LONELY HEARTS

QUEENIE@gairrhydd.COM

lonely hearts Queenie

Y

esterday, I began striking up conversations with my pot plants. Needless to say, they were less than riveting.

But no more of such souldestroying solitude; today Queenie would like to tackle head-on two issues so huge in importance as to be almost erotic.

The first, and indeed the penultimate hot potato is Princess Diana. Why the cock is her square face still all over the tabloids? It makes me extremely unset.

You’d think people would see having heads-of-state attend and billions watch her funeral as a decent way to rest her in peace. But no.

Society decides that being super-popular and dying in a shower of outpourous love isn’t enough to let the whole car crash thing go.

Besides, she was a mildly awful bitch. I mean, what kind of vengeful mentaloid goes on TV and tells half a trillion Panorama viewers that her husband is both an adulterer and a cuckold. Girls like that aren’t worth the front page - think of

with... the queen of your heart Desperately seeking...

all the octupus ink wasted.

So, basically, Di and her fanclub need to poo off, it’s getting mega-lame.

Crunchy point number two: my genitals. Some, namely two of you horny buck-funnies have been curious as to my official gender. Well, I must say, that’s exciting. You’re thinking about my dusty underspaces.

And that leads me nicely onto an answer: unfortunately, dust and rising damp have left my downstairs section utterly indistinguishable. It’s like looking at Pete Burns: “What the shit is that?”

The last thing I remember about that area is having the foetal goo wiped off it by the midwife. That was something of a turn-on.

I suppose you’d think my chest would tell the story, but I can’t tell if the protrusions from my ribs are super-hot man pecs or shite A-cup ladybags.

Other than that, I own both a Prada bag and an Armani suit, DVDs of both Ally McBeal and Die Hard, and subscriptions to both Elle and Mature Milfs Monthly.

Gender? What gender?

Let Quench introduce you to the love of your life

(Susan Miller, Baroness Miller of Chilthorne Domer)

Foolish fresher seeks public spanking: I’m bent over a car right now somewhere in Cathays.

First one to find me gets to take pictures too.

Amoeba seeks amoeba for - oh no wait, I’m fine Ulysses seeks epic adventure: WLTM a travelling partner for the journey into the great beyond. Have left behind dearly beloved Fluffy for the experience of a lifetime.

Alcoholic seeks fight club: Weedy second year student seeks fighters to release aggression with. Let’s get bevvy to rumble...

LM seeks someone, anyone: Second year student desperate to meet anyone. I’m not joking. Anyone. Anywhere on the scale from friendship to whatever I can get.

Honestly check my Facebook profile, I’m deadly serious.

Propaganda me hard and fast: TH seeks AH for chat and light bondage. Would love to

drinks in the pub. Musn’t be the jealous type. I will drop you for a better friend many times.

talk about your struggles.

Well-spoken student seeks tidily-handwritten reply: Must be an expert in the ways of the English language. Spot the deliberate mistake!!

Zippy seeks George and Bungle for child-friendly fun: Geoffrey’s away, and he’s left me his twanger. Go on, you know you want it. Watch you don’t get your one-skin, two-skin, threeskin, four caught on my zip Girl seeking understanding male to listen, give me space when I need it and not force me into any decisions.... actually, you know what? I’m better off with my teddy LM seeks someone (still).

I really wasn’t joking.

Fresher desperately seeking gutter to sleep in after night out: Blankey optional Female seeking nostrings friendship: WLTM man for no-strings periodic trips to the theatre or

LM still still still seeking something: I’m refreshing my e-mails like a loon and my mobile phone is mocking me like a watched kettle not boiling.

Men on new degree course seek flirty undergrad to wine and dine: Must appreciate the noble art of writing and be filthy in the bedroom. Must reside in Yorkshire/Lancashire.

LM seeks final attempt to woo his life’s love: I’m pleading with the student population of Cardiff now, please find me someone. I cry myself to sleep at night after I eat my microwave meal for one. Nights out end in depression and rejection. Each week gets harder to take as all my friends pair up with fit freshers they meet in Rubber Duck. I’m going to use my loan to pay for some hot rabid lusty sensual...

Cut out and keep chat up line: Number 93 It’s Rubber Duck and you’ve got your eye on a piece of totty in Solus but you don’t know what to say.

That’s where Queenie’s going to help you out with that important first impression. So get ready for my weekly dose of chat up lines that will not fail. Now go get that boy/girl or girl/boy.

Queenie says...

“

Have you got a plaster? Because you’re gonna bleed!

blinddate@gairrhydd.com

”

For that je ne sais quoi, remember to take a short pause after the word plaster and growl into the word bleed.

gairrhydd

OCTOBER.15.2007

39

GRAB!

COMPETITIONS@gairrhydd.COM

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

Got that Friday Feeling?

Best of Bass

F

or all you Drum and Bass fans, Beatbox Champion Beardyman has teamed up with DJ Andy C to take Cardiff Student Union by storm.

Beardyman is renowned for using humor on stage as well as beatboxing, for example dressing as a monkey. This adds to the fact it is a mustsee performance! Also Andy C, who is a pioneering Drum and Bass DJ, famous for his chart hit song ‘Body Rock’, will definitely be blasting out some awesome tunes.

F

riday nights couldn’t get any better; Access All Areas in Solus offers you amazing music, a lively student atmosphere and also a chance to throw some serious moves on the dance floor.

Kaiser Chiefs, Stereophonics and Franz Ferdinand are just a few of the bands you’ll hear in AAA, giving an indie edge to your student social life. There’s also some awesome dance music, such as Calvin Harris and The Gossip, which will get you spinning. AAA, in conjunction with Xpress Radio will certainly rock your Friday nights from now on.

We have a house worth of tickets to give away, so you and 11 of your friends could be in with the chance of having this brilliant night out for free!

All you have to do to win is answer this question and email your name and address to the email address above.

What is the name of Cardiff University’s Student Radio Station: a) Radio X b) Xstress c) Xpress

We have 2 tickets to give away for this event and all you have to do to win is email your name and address to the email address above; along with the answer to this question: What old school arcade game has Bass Invaders taken its name from? a) Space Invaders b) Lemmings c) Battleships

G

air Rhydd has teamed up exclusively with Greggs, the region’s leading sandwich, sweet and savoury specialists, to offer readers a one-time opportunity to, literally, ‘win one of everything’.

To mark this week’s opening of the new Greggs shop on Salisbury Road in the heart of Cathays, one lucky winner will be able to take advantage of their full range of tasty treats by walking away with one of everything that Greggs sells. They stock a large range of affordable hunger-fillers.

Choices range from student favourite the sausage and baked bean melt and the mouth-watering sausage roll, to sweet treats like chocolate chip cookies, muffins and doughnuts. There’s even a Healthier Options range at the shop too.

If you’re not the lucky winner then fear not, because Greggs has come up trumps again – they’re looking for part-time staff at its new shop on Salisbury Road, where the staff benefits are just as amazing as this prize. Members of staff are entitled to 50% discount on all products, a share of profits after just 6 months of joining and they even offer £5.57 an hour and weekend contracts, so you can fit your job around your studies.

If you fancy applying for a job then just head down to the shop to pick up an application form. The new Greggs shop is conveniently located on Salisbury Road, opposite the Tesco Metro.

For your chance to win, just answer the following question: Name the road where Greggs has opened its new shop.

Terms and Condition: The offer is for one person to win one of everything that Greggs sell at its Salisbury Road shop, Cathays, Cardiff. The full retail value of this prize is £150. Vouchers for every product will be provided to the winner to redeem at the Salisbury Road shop. Offer subject to availability. Photographs are for indicative purposes only, fillings may vary.

WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!

40 gairrhydd

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SPORT

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THE FULL IMG FANTASY FOOTBALL

Sport looks at some of the teams that will be kicking off their season next Wednesday CARBS Butthead FC Butthead FC are going into a second year After extensive scouting and recruitment, the Psycho Athletico AFC History of IMG football with confidence after some squad has undergone a complete revamp. Our excellent signings and relatively few players leaving. We have a squad full of speed, aggression, style and ginger, and keeping the core of the squad together should keep us in good stead for improving on last year’s Division One place. Last year we were underdogs, this year we are contenders, and we are confident of a premiership place.

The Engin Teams

The Engin squad is stronger than ever and there is a lot of competition for places. We’re hoping to build on last season, when we nearly had a brand new squad that still managed to perform well. This year, we’ll aim for the title and two teams in the Premiership. We’ve added a few decent new strikers as we struggled to score in the Premiership last year, and a few lads are back from gap years. We are looking forward to playing History this year!

Law A Law A are looking forward to a successful season in IMG after finishing a disappointing 2nd in Division 1 last year. We hope that a strengthened A team will compete in the premiership this year. We have recruited around 20 new players for the A and B teams, who have all shown great potential so far. We look forward to the games aganist Carbs and History in particular, after losing to them both last season.

Sawsa SAWSA Euros is a new team formed from the remnants of last years Euros (proud holders of the IMG wooden spoon...ahem) and the new up and coming architecture squad. The team is made up of a combination of IMG veterans and new blood. We acknowledge that we are as yet an unknown quantity, but with a large squad rich in potental we hope to make an impact in this year’s competition.

Psycho Athletico is predominantly a new squad this season after most of its players graduated and left last year. As in the past, the ethos of the team is to enjoy IMG football and continue the long tradition of combining a passion for competing and camaraderie amongst the squad. The team have never feared any opponents and so relish the challenge of playing both old rivals and new-comers. Still sporting the team colours of black and white, the Psychos will aim to surpass the achievements of last season.

This year we have built on the successful squad that finished second last season. The core of our team remains and, following a good turn out at our trials two weeks ago, we’ve added ten new players. These include a number of eager and talented freshers. With a much bigger squad to base our team around, we are very confident for the new season and look forward to playing any team, old or new.

Real Ale Madrid

Gym Gym

If pre-season is anything to go by, we are looking to improve on last season and are quietly confident of achieving a high league position.

Having only lost a few players from last season, we have recruited a few key players after successful trials. We are looking forward to playing some of the same teams from last season and renewing old rivalries.

Although our name suggests it, we are not a society that simply goes to the gym twice.

We are the Welsh Society and we train for our matches just once a week! Our squad of 20 gives both variation and stability. The oldies from last year have returned, with some freshers and new second year blood to add to the mix, so “gwyliwch allan am y Gym Gym!’ (Watch out for the Gym Gym!)

Cardiff Crusaders

Economics

Cardiff Crusaders have been busy recruiting new players to fill the gaps left by last year’s Crusader legends. With the majority of last year’s team being 3rd years, Freshers’ week saw a recruiting campaign Sven himself would have been proud of. The squad is looking good for the new IMG season, though the formation is still being tested for maximum attacking flair and self-proclaimed “sexy football”. With pre-season victories of 7-1, 2-0 and a narrow 3-2 defeat at the hands of MOMED, Division Two looks a serious and likely prospect for this years Cardiff Crusaders. “For the Grail!”

Economics had what can only be described as a blip season last year. After being a premiership side for the previous three years, unimaginably Economics could only add second division silverware to their collection of achievements. This year, however, with an influx of new talent, we certainly hope to improve on that. With a comforable victory over a competent Inter Menan side, the squad are confident ahead of the forthcoming season.

As always, the Engin boys will be our main rivals, although after last season’s unsporting antics we are relishing the potential prospect of games against Jomec. Big names beware...

Econ might just surprise you!

Inter Me-Nan

Chemsoc

Inter Me-Nan are going into their 4th IMG season this year. While we have lost a few of our big name players, the core of our team has remained. Trainings and friendlies have been encouraging, with a number of able new players, both freshers and 2nd years, looking as if they will fit well into the team. Recent friendlies have proven that the opposition will again be tough, but we are hoping to improve on last year’s finish and are looking forward to a successful season.

Having had a big squad turnover at the close of the season, we hope to build on last season’s mid-table position in Division 1. However, we have managed to hold on to the spine of the team, including the midfield terrier Joe Fromm (often likened to Robbie Savage in style of play and looks). We are especially fearful of Carbs in the forthcoming season due to the speed and wizardry of star full-back Matt Malsy.

aim is for the premiership and, if we stick to the previous team ethos, this is certainly a possibility. In terms of our opposition, collective fear stimulates herd instinct and tends to produce ferocity towards those not regarded as members of the herd. So, basically, we’re a herd out to win... I think.

AFC Cathays The current AFC Cathays squad has a good blend of youth and experience… in the words of Ron Burgundy: “We are kind of a big deal.”

The squad has undergone major changes during the summer months, having lost many of last season’s players through graduation. The gap has been filled mainly by young guns. Our hopes for the new season are to finish ahead of Spurs so that Martin Jol gets sacked (ironically using Jol’s own tactics, including the sweeping arm of Jol). We don’t really want to draw Pharm AC, because I have heard some disturbing stories about their captain.

Uni Hallstars The Uni Hallstars are hoping for a better start than last year! We have lost quite a few players but have recruited some good players so far this year. We hope to start as we finished last season and build from there. We have gelled as a squad and are looking forward to the start of the season.

Music Buteys We are aware that our squad is mediocre. We have recruited a player from Real Ale Madrid and we anticipate a grudge match with them!

Now that Euros have folded, we fear no one.

Japsoc We are Japsoc.

Ninjas with honour.

We fear no-one.

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OCTOBER.15.2007

41

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G BREAKFAST NETBALL NATTER

With IMG netball due to start next Wednesday, Sport review some of the contenders CARBS Law Law netball this year are hoping to be as sucWe have 10 new players but our squad is mainMedics Engin cessful as last season, when we won the prely constituted by older players. Because the miership. We lost a lot of players at the end of last year, so we’ve recruited heavily. There is a lot of promising talent from our freshers, so hopefully we can pull together and keep our title as winners of the premiership. We are looking forward to some challenging games, especially from Economics and Cardiff.

Cardiff Uni IMG I think I speak for all the older members of the squad when I say that we are pleasantly surprised at the number of freshers we have in the teams this year. With the changes to IMG there was worry over whether we would have any new members at all but we’ve got a great bunch of enthusiastic new recruits this season! Of course our hopes for this coming year are high (as always) but I think the most important thing for us is to promote enjoyment of the game. Since a number of our members are new to netball it would mean a lot if they all enjoyed the experience as much as we have over the years.

We have entered 2 teams for Medics IMG netball this year due to the increased number of players. Both teams are a mix of freshers and girls who played last year, all showing an eagerness to start playing the matches. Our current squads are very promising and with some more practices we are hoping to play better together. It would be great if both teams could win more points and end up near the top of our groups.

Engin welcomes the addition of a third team -The Numatics. With lots of training, sponsorship from CPS Homes and some key positions filled from last year’s teams, we are confident of improving on 2006/07’s performance. Following the unexpected success of the Locomotives in the cup last season, as well as a strong turnout at trials, we are looking forward to the upcoming season.

Pharmacy

J Unit Netball

We are confident that the current Pharmacy Netball squad is in good shape. So far, we have had plenty of interest from new players, both in and out of the School of Pharmacy.

We would like to see the A team qualify for the premiership and improve on last season’s performance. We would also like to see our Pharmacy B team win the second division or achieve a place in the first division. As always, there are several good teams within the IMG league and we look forward to the challenge!

J Unit netball is the sister team to J Unit football. It has been set up this year by a group of friends and we have recruited people interrested in playing a bit of netball and, most importantly, having fun! We have no aspirations for the title but would prefer to polish up on our netball skills, get a bit of excercise and enjoy ourselves. “Come on J Unit”.

English

Biology

We’ve only had one training session so far, but so far so good! The current squad looks promising: we’ve managed to keep the majority of our players from last year and have recruited over ten new members, with more expected. We hold high hopes for the coming season, and are looking to improve on the ‘A’ team’s position as last year’s Division Two champions.

We’ve just started this year and so are more interested in enjoying the game and having fun than we are in winning. To be honest we’d be thrilled not to end up at the bottom of the league! The teams are mainly third year biologists at the moment but we’re hoping to recruit some more people soon, especially second or third years.

Football Gym Gym ......1st Premier Division AFC History ........................... 2nd CARBS ................................... 3rd Engin ..................................... 5th MOMED ................................. 7th AFC Cathays .......................... 8th Law B .................1st Division One Law A.................................... 2nd Pharm AC ............................... 4th Chemsoc ................................ 5th Butthead FC ........................... 7th Sawsa Eyros Earth Soc Optometry Soccer

Havana Dragons ..................... 8th Economics ......... 1st Division Two Inter Me-Nan ......................... 2nd Cardiff Crusaders.................... 3rd J-Unit ..................................... 4th JOMEC ................................... 5th Psycho Athletico .................... 6th Sosci ..................................... 7th Real Ale Madrid ...................... 8th Japsoc ............ 2nd Division Three Uni Hallstars .......................... 5th

New Entrants

Music Buteys School The History Barbarians Blazin’ Business

So, how did this year’s teams do last season?

majority of the players have played together for over a year, we’re a very strong team. Next year’s goals are to win more competitions, as well as to have more CARBS fun. CARBS socials have always been successful, so if anyone is interested in joining just for the social side, they’re very much welcome. Finally, I’d just like to say good luck to the other teams.

Newspaper Journos We are a new team of postgraduate students studying Journalism. We have never played together before so are hoping the team will gel quickly.

Netball Law A.................. 1st Premiership Cardiff Uni A .......................... 2nd Economics A .......................... 3rd CARBS A ................................ 4th Cardiff Uni B ........................... 5th SOSCI A ................................. 6th Christian Union ....................... 7th Pharmacy A............................ 8th Economics B .......1st Division One CARBS B................................ 3rd SAWSA .................................. 4th MEDICS ................................. 5th Biology Psychology J-Unit

Locomotive ............................ 6th Law B .................................... 7th SOSCI B ................................. 8th English A............ 1st Division Two IWC A ................................... 2nd Pharmacy B............................ 3rd IWC B .................................... 4th Gym Gym ............................... 5th English B................................ 6th Optometry .............................. 7th Automative ............................ 8th

New Entrants

Newspaper Journos Engin Numatics Medics B

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THE WORD ON... ... THG, EPO, EKG and all things ‘performance enhancing’ George Pawley Sports Editor

A

trophy cabinet is a key feature in a sporting household. It exists to showcase a sportsman’s achievements, achievements they can be proud of, reminders of past glory that can be kept forever. If you are still competing, empty shelves provide inspiration to push harder for that holy grail, whatever it may be.

One household where the trophy cabinet will seem less grand from now on is that of Marion Jones. Once a heroine; a female athlete that genuinely looked capable of eclipsing male times or distances in track and field events, Jones’ cabinet will look rather different from now on.

For her use of the banned steroid THG that helped her win five Olympic medals at Sydney 2000, Jones will be stripped of her titles forever more.

The International Olympic Committee are yet to decide what to do with her medals – it has been suggested that she keep her medals as permanent symbols of her guilt If this happens, three Golds and two Bronzes will probably not be gleaming through polished glass. More likely, they will be stowed away into the darkness of

a chilly attic, while her cabinet gathers dust as it’s owner pays her debt to society in an unfriendly prison cell.

Jones will be virtually written out of history books but she is not the first, and sadly she will not be the last.

The only time you’ll hear the names of cheats such as Jones will be when the next high profile athlete is disgraced.

It’s not just athletics that is seeing it’s reputation being torn to shreds thanks to the plunges of needles or swallowing of pills. For the last few years, one of the world’s greatest and most challenging disciplines, the Tour de France, has been riddled with drugs cheats and suspicion.

Alexandre Vinokourov produced a superhuman effort to win a mountain stage in this year’s Tour.

Unsurprisingly, he tested positive for blood doping and was immediately kicked out.

The system can work, but how many feats have been achieved due to the influence of drugs or doping that remain undeteced? It’s impossible to tell, but you can confidently say that there are some, perhaps many, and that they are of a high profile nature.

Unfortunately, stifling this progress is progress itself

The principle of ‘innocent until proven guilty’ is a bedrock of our society, yet can this continue to apply in sport?

Twice in two years the iconic Malliot Jaune and race leader has either been stripped of the title, as happened with Floyd Landis after his Testosterone boosts, or thrown out of the Tour, as happened with Michael Rasmussen this year.

Cycling has been littered with this for decades. Le Tour is obviously too hard for cyclists who need that illegal lift to pull them up the mountain in order to maintain their tag of being a ‘contender’; the true sportsmen are struggling on the upslopes as they give everything to conquer nature.

Other sports have started to be mentioned too. one of the world’s greatest ever golfers Gary Player insists there is some form of performance enhancing system in his noble old game, while in the beautiful game high profile players such as Edgar Davids and Jaap Stam have tested positive for the banned substances.

EKG, EPO, THG, Testosterone, Nandrolone and anabolic steriods will continue to be part of sport’s vocabulary for years to come.

Detection Whatever they have been taking, when the crucial B sample confirms the presence of a banned substance, athletes are virtually compelled to admit their guilt and face up to the consequences that both themselves, and their sport have been engulfed in. The problem will always be detection.

Detection remains hugely controversial; a thorny issue that must be treated tactfully. The principle of ‘innocent until proven guilty’ is a bedrock of our society, yet can this continue to apply in sport? The constant abuses of trust now force even the most optimistic fans into a dark corner if the issue of doping is ever raised. Their idol could

Jones will be virtually written out of the history books fall at any time.

After falling and suffering major injuries, then cracking in the Pyrenees,

Barry Bonds recently broke the home runs record in Baseball, surpassing the marks set by Hank Aaron and the legendary Babe Ruth. However, where there should have been fanfare, there was indifference and scepticism.

Bonds has never tested positive for steroids, but increasingly we are being forced to look away from the record books. Should we disregard his questionable relationships with guilty coaches? After all, Marion Jones lied about her involvement in the Balco scandal, where a laboratory in San Francisco was found to be at the centre of a performance enhancing drugs operation, and Bonds’ fomer trainer was jailed after investigations into Balco.

The Balco pattern will doubtless continue – Justin Gatlin, Tim Montgomery and Jones’ former husband CJ Hunter were all banned from competition while under the coaching regimes of Trevor Graham, a man with clear links to the Californian laboratory.

Similarly, the man who orchestrated the Stanazol doping programme for disgraced Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson, Charlie Francis, coached Jones and Montgomery for a time, before Nike persuaded the pair to drop him as he was tarnishing their reputation.

The elaborate web of deception may never be fully uncovered.

Worrying trends will surely start to emerge in many sporting disciplines when records are broken; it’s worrying to think that an achievement will only be recognised when the particular athlete provides a negative

sample - though perhaps that is the way forward.

In this vein, Asafa Powell’s astonishing 9.74s world record in the 100m sprint discipline is being regarded by some as a ‘superhuman’ effort, rather than receiving praise from all corners.

This may be seen as cold-hearted scepticism, but is there even a fragment of doubt in your mind that this accomplishment may have been influenced by a single injection? In some cases it may be more than that - Ben Johnson was part of an extensive programme to win at the 1988 Seoul Olympics which bypassed Los Angeles in ‘84 to win just one gold medal.

Being surprised that feats like this were attained in underhand ways is a thing of the past, in many cases it is now something that is expected.

For example, amazement at Michelle Smith’s three Gold’s in Atlanta will now be something only the naive can marvel at; no longer can an average club swimmer turn to an Olympian overnight. Suspicion may well be something an athlete now will have to deal with, just like aching muscles or ice baths. Only testing will exonerate them from it.

The only way to clamp down on drugs in sport is surely to dramatically increase testing. This could be done weekly or after each performance; anything to up the pressure and try to weed out the cheats. Unfortunately, stifling this progress is progress itself.

Just as the World Anti-Doping Agency will develop their techniques on testing, so will the programmes to try and evade the tests; it’s simple evolution.

Where there was once blood doping there will be gene doping, and so it will continue.

gairrhydd

0CTOBER.15.2007 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Fris-glee

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SPORT

Steven Florey ventures into the mysterious world of alternative sports WHEN INFORMED that I was to take part in a session of Ultimate Frisbee, my reactions were mixed to say the least.

I had heard of such a sport since joining Cardiff University but was unsure at how ‘ultimate’ frisbee could really be.

Envisaging a multitude of longhaired hippy-types, I had always steered clear of these kinds of alternative sports. In addition to these presumptions, I was frightened because I knew just how bad I was with a frisbee.

After settling on what I thought to be adequate Frisbee attire, I was about as ready as I could be. I entered the Talybont Sports Hall anxiously but was soon put at ease by the large number of people playing for the first time.

My sole mission had been to evade the title of worst frisbee player ever.

However, it dawned on me that not only would this not happen, but that it simply didn’t matter. The existing players were highly accommodating

and had no qualms about helping anyone, whatever their ability.

We got taken through nearly everything, from how to throw the frisbee to the rules of the game itself.

Throwing the frisbee in such a manner that is uncustomary to most (though I went to one session, my frisbee jargon is still lacking) was challenging.

With my frisbee use generally restricted to picnics or beach outings, I had never really needed to throw it any other way; or rather, when I had attempted it, the experience was a sad one that promped me to suppress any desire to attempt it again. Yet, following some friendly advice from some of the players, I came the closest I had ever come to achieving this aim.

With every throw I felt like my mastery over the frisbee was strengthening, and that a bandana might not have been out of place.

After the basic throws and tactics had been covered, we were placed into teams. By this time, I was actually

quite looking forward to implementing my newfound talent.

The games were much faster-paced than I was expecting. With everyone scurrying around to find space for the thrower, Ultimate Frisbee is actually incredibly good for fitness.

One term that I do remember is the ‘end zone’. I also recall how satisfying it was to launch the frisbee into the said zone, scoring a point if caught by your teammate.

A definite advantage that Ultimate Frisbee has over others sports is its social element. While it is serious, the atmosphere of the games are highly enjoyable as well. With it also being a mixed sport, you are guaranteed to meet a more diverse number of people.

Although I am quite settled in mainstream sports, Ultimate Frisbee certainly offers an enjoyable and slightly zany alternative. My experience undoubtedly overturned my expectation and I would encourage anyone to have a try.

FRISBEE: The Yawn Ultimatum?

Medics discover old form PHOTO: BEN WHITE

MEDICS: Big fans of the ball Jack Zorab Sports Editor CARDIFF MEDICS 1sts ............ 41 READING 1sts ........................... 5 CARDIFF MEDICS got their first league win since February on Wednesday as they overcame their visitors to Llanrumney this week: Reading, a side full of speed and endeavour but short on nous, and in Cardiff’s twenty-two; very short.

The Medics themselves were pretenders in this league last year and the knowledge of what life is like at the bottom is clearly a strong enough tonic to desire a new order this term.

They set about their task with haste; a snap drop-goal from Crabtree settled the nerves before David Price-Smith decided he would steal the show, once

again, with the first of his four try haul A well-worked move ended with Aled Williams putting the winger into the corner.

Reading’s fly half, who must have had some Argentinian blood in him, then took to the skies to launch his side’s attacks. The aerial route may be in vogue at the minute but it did little for his side’s fortunes, as Cardiff’s back three scooped them up thankfully and counter-attacked well. The result was Price-Smith bagging his second before Steve Leonard crashed over before the half hour mark. Reading did construct some good moves though which took them deep into Cardiff territory but hard tackling and a series of turnovers against them proved their undoing as Thomas, Morgan and Jackson set the platform for Meecham to patrol the break-down.

After half-time though, Reading put more pressure on the back three

and crucially didn’t allow Dafydd Evans any real space to run. Cardiff, denied of their free running full back lost their way and errors started to creep into their game.

Reading pounced and scored a great breakaway try though their substitute winger. Cardiff rang the changes at this point, Price-Smith got hungry and the Medics ended the match with another two tries.

It was a stylish win for the Medics but in anticipation of the imminent journeys to Swansea and Oxford, an 80 minute performance is what they now must strive for.

Sport gairrhydd

Inside: The return of the IMG Breakfast

HART-ACHE FOR CARDIFF

Jack Zorab Sports Editor CARDIFF UNIVERSITY RFC lost away to an incredibly strong Hartpury team, as the BUSA Premier League got under way for the new season.

Hartpury, the BUSA champions, are even stronger this year than last and, with all their players playing professionally in the Guinness A-league as well, they appear to have usurped Loughbrough as the leading force in British Universities Rugby.

Cardiff, by all accounts, gave very much as good as they got. Martyn Fowler, the Head Coach of Cardiff

University Rugby, was impressed with the application of his charges: “After 30 minutes it was 6 - 3 as we spoiled their ball and harassed them to the point of distraction. You can do that for half an hour if you’re a capable side but after that their fitness and power were far superior.

“Normally players’ energy at this level will only start to drop in the last quarter of the game, but when Hartpury are the opposition it’s incredibly hard to match them.

“We were having to make so many tackles in the first half it took its toll, I think Olli Jenkins had to make about 16 or 17 tackles which for an outside half is a hell of a lot. There wasn’t a drop in their performance from the first

whistle to the last.”

This year’s first team captain Aled Mason was also pleased with his side’s performance considering the calibre of their opposition. He commented: “There wasn’t too much disappointment among the squad. The Hartpury team were a bunch of very, very good rugby players.”

The loss came on the back of a hugely successful weekend away at the army base in Crickhowell. Mason described some of the activities the squad undertook and noted how beneficial the weekend was. He said: “We were given dummy guns, grenades, rocket launchers; the works. We had to go on exercises in groups and perform tasks as a team. We also joined in with the

Army’s personal training before being left on top of a mountain for the night, It was fantastic for great team building.”

Mason also added: ‘All the freshers in the first team squad integrated well and now we’re much better off for it.”

This was all before the match between Cardiff RFC and the Army U23’s side at the culmination of the weekend, which Cardiff won 26 - 13.

The win saw the pre-season close on a positive note, and was an impressive feat considering Cardiff’s opposition were undefeated in ten years prior to the game. Referring to the game, Fowler was clearly delighted with the performance: “They were actually bigger than Hartpury, but they really didn’t

PHOTO: ED SALTER

Cardiff RFC 1sts end Army’s ten year winning streak, but succumb 63 - 3 to Hartpury in their first BUSA Premier game of the season

have the same skill levels. We played really well though and thoroughly deserved the win.”

So how will Cardiff fare during the rest of the BUSA season? The real acid test will come this Wednesday when the first XV tackle Bath at Llanrumney.

But to get an idea of how Martyn Fowler and his team view their upcoming fixture, the best bet may be to look at the coach’s own performance at Crickhowell in dealing with a kidnap situation.

“We had to go in to this room and shoot the bad guy dummy but not the civilian dummies”, said Fowler, continuing, “I think Matthew Strong and I got the worst results they ever recorded, we shot everyone.”

GAIR RHYDD AND QUENCH MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE, GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS. THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS. THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF UNIVERSITY n HUW HAS A 'LITTLE ACCIDENT' IN THE OFFICE n LET’S GET BEVVY TO RUMBLE n GEORGE LOVES POETRY n BUT PHOTOSHOP HATES GEORGE n DAVIES: THE NEW RIDLER n WILLIAM BLAKE: SEX PEST 2007 n AMY PAYS FOR ADAM’S NEW LADY n FRESH PRINCE MAKES MOVE ON DUCKLINGS n FRESH GASH n

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5:15pm Location, Location, Location: Best and Worst 2007

5:50pm five news and sport

6:30pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:45pm ITV News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Royal

6:45pm Channel 4 News 7:00pm Bremner, Bird and Fortune 8:00pm Wife Swap

6:05pm Strictly Dirty Dancing 7:05pm Dirty Dancing

9:00pm Michael Palin’s New Europe

9:00pm Catwalk Dogs

9:00pm Mickey Blue Eyes

9:00pm Greatest Ever 80s Movies

10:00pm BBC News; Weather 10:15pm Match of the Day 2

10:30pm ITV Weekend News 10:45pm Britain’s Love Story

10:20pm To Be Announced 10:55pm Film To Be Announced

11:45pm F1 Brazilian Grand Prix Qualifying 12:45am ITV Play: Make Your Play 4:10am Antiques Auction 4:30am Antiques Auction 5:00am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

12:50am 4 Music:4Play: The Hives 1:05am 4 Music:4Play: The Flies 1:20am 4 Music:Dubplate Drama 2:00am Beneath the Planet of the Apes 3:35am Wild Things 4:25am Full Metal Challenge 5:25am Countdown

1:00pm To Be Announced 1:50pm To Be Announced 2:50pm To Be Announced 3:25pm EastEnders

5:15pm Points of View 5:30pm Songs of Praise

5:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix 5:30pm Wild

6:00pm Robin Hood 6:50pm Strictly Come Dancing 7:35pm BBC News; Regional News; Weather 8:00pm Antiques Roadshow

6:00pm To Be Announced 7:00pm No Variations 8:00pm Snooker: Grand Prix

11:00pm Lewis Hamilton: Billion Dollar Man 11:40pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 12:40am Film To Be Announced 2:00am Weatherview 2:05am Joins BBC News 24

11:00pm Graham 11:45pm Heroes

Norton

Uncut

PICK OF THE DAY Antiques Roadshow, BBC1, 8.00pm I bet you are all thinking this is a show for old people about old things. WRONG!! Well halfwrong... It may be a show about old things but it is definitely not just for the golden oldies.

Us sexy young folk can get involved. Nothing is more delightful than watching eager beavers pawn off dear Nana’s treasures after she popped her clogs only an hour before. It’s even better when they are told that their treasured teacup, which they were assured was part of the Royal tea service, is a cheap knock off from Asda. Oh how their faces crumble. Little Johnny won’t be going to private school this year...

11:50pm Disorderly Conduct 11:10pm Criminal Minds 12:10am Quiz Call 5:35am Wildlife SOS