gair rhydd - Issue 873 pt2

creative words gair rhydd presents

An anthology of creative writing by Cardiff University students

Volume III Summer 2008

2

creative words

An Introduction.

Editor: Tom Williams Illustrations: Roseanna Eastoe Design: Ben Bryant

Plastic Liam Dando Charade Brigade I don’t need cables attached to my hands When I’ve got you the sea and the sand

We hide on a beach, away from the hype Secluded and happy enjoying our life

Outside of our shelter there’s beeps and clicks But here in those arms I’m calmed by your kiss They’re racing the rats, braving the gales Standing in line for the start of the sales

W

elcome to creative words Volume III: an anthology of creative writing written and compiled by Cardiff students.

The success of last term’s volume has assured the continued growth of creative words, and we are proud to present what we believe is our best collection of poetry and prose yet.

Almost as soon as Volume II hit the streets in December, a steady stream of submissions have been flowing into the gair rhydd office.

Eager writers have been scribbling away over the last six months in the hope of seeing their work published on the following pages.

As always, the contributions have been of a very high standard, which has made the selection process tough. While this volume’s entries have seen a greater focus on poetry rather than short stories, I believe that the submissions demonstrate the diversity of the creative talents of Cardiff students.

Special thanks must go to Rosie Eastoe for her beautiful illustrations which frame the work on display.

The popularity of creative words this year has seen it establish itself as a permanent fixture in the gair rhydd calendar, and its growth will hopefully continue to assist aspiring writers and showcase the creative talents of Cardiff students for many years to come.

Tom Williams

The t.v told me: “be unhappy and bleed” I paid no attention; you’re all that I need Here in this room we’ve become out of touch It’s safe to abstain, we’re not missing much We turn to each other cry and then sigh At the relief of not needing a networking site We are content by each other’s side We are content and have nothing to hide

Passport Anon

My stomach danced as I boarded the plane. Not with nerves but a fantastic excitement: I was alone, the addictive adventure of travel had just begun. My fingers found the smooth cover of my new passport, crisp and strong in my sweaty palm. My ticket to the world.

Literally, my passport to freedom. Its purpose is obvious: a practical tool, a human right. But the memories are endless, each stamp an achievement.

The rutted crown of royalty politely requests the freedom and protection of the bearer, but holds little sway under the glare of corruption. Soiled notes fold into its discreet pages, accompanied by a knowing smile. The authority of money over law. The berry-red cover is decorated with the mark of gold officialdom, its patriotic statement now rubbed and scratched to a fragile whisper. Thick pages flick past, each a candid glimpse into foreign lands.

Every stamp holds a story, some forgotten in a blur of road checks and borders, others embossed on the pages of my mind. Christmas Eve 2005, Zambia to Zim. Sweat dripped as bodies crushed, smothered by the nauseating sweet-

creative words words creative

33

Lady Liberty ness. In the Border Control Office blank walls framed blank faces, the air hanging heavy with unease. The ripped lino floor staged a bureaucratic red-tape pantomime. Five long hours turned into ten, until the insects hummed in the low boughs of Acacia trees. My favourite stamp? Page 20, of course, for its unashamed novelty value. The thud of the template and ink on the pinky-orange paper: 28 Aout 2007. The toothless Tuareg man looked up at me, ‘Bienvenue a Tombouctou’. Clutching my griping stomach I rose from the cool metal chair, my head dizzy with lack of sleep and no breakfast. I stumbled around the ancient town, Mali’s world famous tourist attraction, determined not to let my sickness ruin the day. One of the world’s most remote places and I manage to get ill? Typical. Can you see each page’s watermark? Feel the texture of each concealed thistle, leek, rose and clover? A rainbow of 65 official stamps decorates the robust paper, the pale inks weak against the dominant colours of richer countries. Its pages are my constant companions, but so narrow, so small. The border between

Tim Hewish

Burkina Faso and Mali. Burkina Fali they were calling it, convulsing with laughter while I ransacked my bag, cold sweat beading on my forehead.

There’s nothing quite like that sickness of panic, creeping through the stomach as hands scrabble and ears ring. I found it, of course. Jammed between the seats, its furled edge peeping out between faded blue cushions. The wrinkles of age and experience creep across the battered cover, the corners blunted by the relentless battering of travel. It’s tough though; resilient and staid in the true British manner, a silent statement of patriotism. A nine-digit number declares my identity, personalised only by my scanned photo on the back page.

Glittery with its hologram crown, my face stares from a laminated frame. It’s a snatched moment of an innocent time, untouchable now in the glow of experience. My juvenile signature sprawls across its designated space, tied for the next eight years to my picture, though they’re both already out of date.

MDCCLXXVI The Lady of Liberty a maiden so fair, Carries so many hopes but only one care, A signal of Freedom to whom will bare, The Sons of Liberty are the brothers of despair, Forging a nation of lies and deceit, Can be the cause of the silent defeat, Here rings the bell of an earthy sleep, The Knell of Death, lowly the people weep, The cries of a land which says I’ll come take you poor, Has barbed wire fences and boundaries galore, An escape into true Freedom the only cure.

IX XI Nine and Eleven the numbers of Scorn, Pours blood onto our sands to make hearts forlorn,

Excalibur

The two warring peoples splits a country to torn, Like the cloth in the Temple where our King was born,

Piers Horner It was on May 16th 1987 that Ben Kindle, aged 9 ¾, discovered the sword Excalibur. It had been a glorious day.

Ben had been exploring in the woods close to his parents’ home, and had come across a small sheltered cleft in the hill, with steep rocky sides and trees perched at odd angles from between boulders.

In the bottom of this cleft was a small grassy area that was open to the sky and in this grassy area stood a collection of grey-white boulders covered in green moss.

To begin with, Ben didn’t recognise Excalibur. It was jutting out of the tallest boulder, which was shaped rather like an extended egg, and partially covered in moss.

When Ben realised there was something unusual about the shape of this object, he began clambering onto

the boulders to get a closer look at it.

He pushed aside the moss and began uncovering the metal underneath. Suddenly he realised what he was looking at was the handle of a sword.

But the sword was no longer a thing of gleaming metal. Time had broken down the charms of fairytale and story-telling. The elements had worn away at the metal, and the sword was now rusted and orange. Its keen edge had been worn paper thin, and in places there were large oval holes in the blade. The ornate runes that had once covered it were now no more than indistinct lines on its surface.

Ben considered Excalibur for a while, then clambered onto the top of the boulder, scuffing his knees on its rough surface. He stood, catching his balance and grasped at the handle.

He tugged.

The terror of war may linger forever, Had he felt the blade move slightly?

He tugged again, harder. And again.

Suddenly the blade snapped, and he lost balance and tumbled off the boulder, landing on the grass. He had landed on his shoulder which was now aching.

He shed a quick tear then rubbed his shoulder hard until he couldn’t feel the pain anymore. He found his knee was bleeding slightly and wiped away some of the blood.

On the grass a little distance from him was the broken handle and shaft of the sword. Ben occupied himself for half an hour running about the grassy area, hacking and swiping at grass with the rusty metal, pretending he was fighting exotic foes in a battle between good and evil. Eventually, he tired of the game and threw the bit of metal away. Then he ran home to his Mum and a nice hot dinner.

But peace be with all and united together, Under the Stars and Stripes the curtain will fall, On this great theatre - the most bogus play of all, A Tale of Two Cities shall remember the call, A London and New York already befall, This looks like the end or the beginning again, The struggle for Freedom and the journey of Men, Into Hell’s fiery depths the authors will pen, So long farewell, what’s left is Amen.

MMVIII Liberty’s Statue has closed all her doors, A world built on beauty was one of her flaws, In which the tastes of Independence was corrupted by whores, Like a blood-stained emblem in one of her paws, Good night God bless was her one last address, The State of the Union all in a mess, Who calls for an encore will surely be bereft, As rubble and dust from the Statue is all that is left.

4

creative words

Café

Katie Jacobs

Today I decide to go to the café. It is a Sunday and it is crazy early. The air feels kind of strange; things smell different on Sundays. Wearing old surf shorts and a yellow t-shirt with a bikini underneath I run. I get there quickly and the building is cold and deserted.

I run around some more, maybe for a whole hour or two. When I come back it is getting hot, proper August weather. The door is still shut with the closed sign facing out, but there is a guy moving around inside wiping tables. The café is so cheerful looking that it seems fake. Lights shaped like the moon, but purple, hang from the ceiling. The floor is cheap and wipeclean, the tablecloths a tacky check pattern in red. The walls are decorated with pictures from a local school.

When I try the door it opens. He looks up to tell me ‘we’re not open yet’, but then stops.

‘Hey. You were friends with Grace right.’ He says it in that awkward slightly false way of asking a question that you already know the answer to, because you have to say something.

‘Yeah, I’m just here to get her stuff from her locker.’ I remember him. Not his name but his soft brown hair that curls on his collar and his big hands that look steady and safe. I used to meet her here when she got off work.

Grace would always say goodbye to him with a hug and over her shoulder I would see he looked too happy at something that meant nothing to her.

Most guys liked her a lot more than she gave in return.

She always wore a thin silver chain around one tanned ankle; I thought it was pretty. He would watch it flash as she turned away from him, grinning at me. ‘Hey loser, are you ready to have some fun now’ she would say and I would poke out my tongue or throw a screwed up napkin at her laughing face.

He brings me over to her locker, although I already know which one is hers.

‘Here’s the spare key.’ He holds it up like it is burning.

‘Oh’, I hold up my own copy, Grace’s key that I took from her desk at home. We laugh weirdly. When we stop abruptly he smiles so sadly and I feel my hand reaching up and landing on his shoulder. It doesn’t really know what to do there so I quickly pull it back.

‘I guess I’ll put this back then.’ He twirls the key a bit in his hand and lifts his eyebrows slightly. When he turns away I open the locker. Soon I feel something over my shoulder and he is behind me asking ‘can I help’. I let him and together we empty it until it is just a shell.

First there is her uniform, curled in a ball on top of everything else. Now beside me he laughs and tells me what I already know, ‘she always looked like she just rolled out of bed working here’. I answer him, ‘normally cos she just had’. He tilts his head across at me, ‘mostly her shifts started in the afternoon.’ I nod really slowly for too long.

He seems to want to break the silence that falls.

‘I guess you can keep it if you want.

Probably my boss won’t want it back, no one will want to wear’… ‘a dead girl’s uniform’ I finish

when he can’t. ‘But it’s ok, I don’t need it’ I carry on, ‘I have a lot of her stuff already.’

He nods like, I might take it but would that be too weird, and folds it behind him on the nearest table. In the locker I also find a massive pair of earrings in the shape of and scaly like fish (‘our boss made her take them off at work’ he tells me, ‘yeah no wonder’ I reply, ‘they are kind of hideous’), a half finished book turning yellow at the edges, empty crisp packets and water bottles and two photos taped to the inside of the door.

One is of me, her and our friend Jake on a beach somewhere, looking tanned with our arms round each other.

I keep this one. The second photo was obviously taken in this café; six of them are at a table surrounded by Christmas decorations. She is wearing a bright red Santa hat and the lights on it are flashing. ‘Our staff Christmas meal last year’ he tells me, although it is obvious. I hand it to him and he looks awkward, ‘I have my own copies’ he says slowly like he’s not sure.

‘It doesn’t matter, I think you should have this one’, the one that she hung in her locker, because it must have meant something. He finally takes the photo, folds it and puts it in his shirt pocket.

‘Thanks… My name is Dave by the way. You’re…Poppy.’ It is a slight question. ‘Yeah, that’s me.’ Then I leave, carrying with me an aging book, a photograph and a pair of earrings shaped like fish.

The Waiting Room Robert Clifford This is a heavy room.

For the window panes are

The radiators moan with the heat

Cataractous with mist.

Of the air, So I sit; and wait.

Rattling inside its iron

Watching the door slam on its creaking joints

Rib-cage like a feral As the people come in Scream.

Mouths shut like misplaced incisions.

The walls have been listening Fingers like stitches, To this hidden torture Sewn and unsewn.

For years; An ache somewhere aches.

They lean on each other, weak And pale with age and ailment

But we wait for news

And emptiness.

And news is bad news In the quiet of the waiting room.

I cannot see outside

creative words

5

Megatron is Coming Over for Tea Liam Dando The robot pulled your face off

The robot doesn’t play hombre

Then cooked it on a spit

He doesn’t enjoy games

And there was no suggestion

If trouble comes, you up and run

Of a farewell kiss

He turns into a plane

The robot doesn’t dance my friend

Say goodbye to the robot son

The robot doesn’t lie

The best friend you never had

So he doesn’t have a problem

He forms a different kind of ship

With looking in your eyes

And he won’t pretend to laugh.

Prose Dinner Party Luke Rees At the moment I’m trying to sit on a worktop at a dinner party, but it’s just too high to rest my arse on without lifting my feet from the ground. I’m debating whether to just go for it and bugger the consequences when I’m approached by Blanche Beckford-White, all eyes agleam and reeking of the shit perfume women of a certain age wear when fragrance becomes less about smelling desirable and more about covering up odours. I relish dinner party conversation, because as a teenagerpeople try and connect with me on my level. Usually I lapse into a character, or play games with myself to see which lies they’ll believe.

She’s going to be talking about university and my plans for the future, while in return I’ll be thinking of her name as the acronym BBW, which in porno denotes beautiful black women.

This usually generates a snigger at an inopportune time, as Blanche is neither black nor beautiful, and could only be classified as a woman with any certainty by a qualified medical professional.

“Hello, now tell me all about Oxford.”

Fucksake, really took the time to come up with an original question didn’t you? “Oh y’know, really good, lovely city, nice atmosphere” My contempt is now being expressed in clauses rather than fully formed sentences.

to my heart’ rather imply a fondness for the subject? It should be a subject close to your vagina if we’re picking any organ Blanche dear. Still, perhaps this is karma for lying about rape statistics at a party again...

“Well thats it isnt it?” ... stupid fucking remark... “The thing about Oxford’s atmosphere is that you avoid a lot of the...”

Fuck, she’s asked a question, her eyebrows are raised and she’s tilted her head expecting enlightenment, I imagine an animal about to be put down.

As she prattles I look powerlessly at the chicken drumsticks being snapped up at the other end of the room. Whoever said I liked dinner parties was a fraud. Maybe a good lie will shut her up...

“Well I’ve always found that...”

Showtime.

“Unfortunately it does have one of the highest sexual assault per person ratio in England, so swings and roundabouts really” Take that bitch, I’m going for the drumsticks.

“Now that is sad, because sexual assault is a subject dear to my heat actually..” For Christ’s sake, SHE would say that, and now the drumsticks are almost gone. I’m stuck watching the only non-pretentious food disappearing in front of my eyes... and doesn’t ‘dear

----------------------It’s later, people are saying the torturous goodbyes that span eons and make me sweat profusely, so I walk into a room I shouldn’t be in, the cool, quiet study where the inane buzzing of the invited guests fades to a bearable annoyance. Falling into the computer chair, I notice how alike it is to ours at home, and wonder whether it’s the next model up. Chrissake, I think, I’ve broken the hydraulic lever, so the chair is barely two feet from the ground as I absent-mindedly leaf through the papers on the varnished desk in front of me.

The Scooby-doo mouse mat inspires

me, and I slip into a train of thought about psychedelics and Huxley. To call it a train of thought implies some sort of destination though, and my mental journeys seem more akin to a hot-air balloon, perhaps slightly punctured.

I fail to reach any form of mouse mat enlightenment before my own perception is jolted by a silhouetted head in the doorframe…excuses take priority.

In shuffles my glistening uncle, who’s going to gently probe me on my career plans, probably at Dad’s request.

It’s a well worn routine that ends with no great satisfaction for either party, a bit like middle-aged sex.

“Not saying goodbye Luke?” He should be a bit more sociable by this age...

“Oh, that time already, I’ll come in now” You’ve caught me, lets make this quick...

“Well, I get a bit sick of it all too” I’m engaging with him, does this make me down with the kids?

“Yeah” Tosser.

“How’s Oxford? Still set on being a writer?” He needs to grow up; face the real world...

“Pretty much, beats some office job doesn’t it?” He needs to fuck off, must be jealous...

“Of course, its just getting into it that’s a problem, no steady income.”

Unlike my job…

“But freedom, and not working for anyone but myself” Unlike your job…

“Well there’s always a place for you at the firm if it goes pear shaped.”

Which it will

“Thanks, but I’ll do my best” You have a pear shaped wife and sweaty children...

“I’ll see you soon then” By which time I hope you’ve had a haircut. Waste of space.

“Take care Uncle T.” By which time I hope you’re in a coffin. Idiot.

6

creative words

No Poets (In dedication to Brion Gysin) Gareth J. S. Mogg

Sea Megan King I see, wet sea Wet sea, get me Get me, white waves White waves, take me Take me, wet sea Wet sea, end me.

Pool splash!

And then the world did wander, weaving words and spitting forks, tongued scars on the pallet –

“I’m inking the lifeblood! I am!” was uttered with a petrified roar, and slowly the canvas erupted;

flowers on tarmac.

(Stain brushed satin and waterfall drops

fall in petals) And in amongst the broken

I am Sorry Marc Thomas

beads of laced sweat,

you were right: poets don’t own words just the beauty of the landscape.

Ripples fade.

Jesus blessed my mother and father with good looks and money, I cannot help it – I am sorry, I cannot help you – I am sorry, I cannot help he/she – I am sorry, I cannot help we – I am sorry, I cannot help those who sit in the silent night city street, in a dark doorway, Drinking their moonshine and feeling worthlessly alone, Shining like explosions on the 5th of November, Burning up the perfect pleas of the politicians, Saying everything is rosy, everything is ok, Do not panic, do not worry, do not squeal, do not complain: Voice your opinion but please do so quietly, Do not hurt anyone by saying that his or her opinion is not as good as yours, Themselves voicing their own poems of postmodernism, In the rabid wildfire evening.

Sal Paradise could not have seen it coming, Dean Moriarty was too busy being ‘angelic’ to know what was going on, Down in the gutters, and behind the closed doors, and in the universities, And in the Houses of Parliament, and the schools, and the Churches and in the Mosques and everywhere all the time.

Carlo Marx was wasted. He did not notice that someone stole the freedoms; Live free of violence, live free of lust, live free of poverty, live free of money, Live free of fear, live free of slavery, live free of something somewhere somehow.

He did not notice these things.

I cannot help him – I am sorry.

creative words

Yet She Stays

7

New Friend

Luke Rees Andrew Tweddle

Her eyes glint and shine in the cloying black, two aching dancers in the spotlight Her lips drip with pretty lies. Rouged plastic shrouding

i met lucinda a week ago and now we lie on her bed close closer, drinking red wine that usually tastes like icicle vinegar but now is so warm. she’s new to me, i barely know her, but she makes me go bang. listening to radiohead and learning about who she is. and loving who she is. her eyelids flutter like the pages of ‘the god of small things’ as she reads me her favourite bit. what is this night? she tells me why i’m brilliant and why she’s tragic. no, i tell her, tragedy makes us closer. so my crooked heart with a per fect beat. speak, poem, let her know i love who i am when i’m with her

those danger-white teeth.

Her neck is honeyed. Cool on my hand, delicate bones web Under velveteen skin I trace the small of her back with guilty fingers. Lithe and lean and toned and tanned, she arches with regal grace, and porno promise.

Dark hair. Soft hair. Trickling, shimmering hair.

A crushed flower, someone damaged her. Pure turns insecure; Trust evaporates with lonely fanfare.

An explosion of beautiful contradictions, untamed and unobtainable She belongs to no-one. She belongs with me.

Yet she stays.

The Teabag Tango Anon

The waiting mug sits empty on the side;

And joins the bag in luscious harmony.

Anticipating meeting with the spoon,

The leaves: they dance, the spoon: it whirls

An unused teabag wants to meet his bride.

Like naughty, racy, dancing men and girls.

Some boiling water will be coming soon.

Dizzily they move as smooth as silk

Hiss hiss, clunk clunk: the kettle clicks to ‘off’ And in a burst of confidence breaks free:

Until their tango’s smothered by the milk.

The lovers cry as sugar quells their hips And silently the mug comes to my lips.

The water tumbles down into the trough

Thoughts on Death Henry Burton

What does it mean to die? Is death even possible to define? Admittedly, there’s a difference in the number of people who turn up for your birthday parties, especially if you do the invites yourself. But even so, most religions tell that death is not the end but merely a beginning, something which is definitely true as Terry Wogan died years ago but still manages to squeeze a decent gig out of the BBC. Is the soul un-ageing? Or does it merely moisturise well? Questions like this rage through my mind, but I do not have the answers, and I am left with an empty void of despair much like the feeling of having to spend a weekend in Peterborough. Indeed, is there any point to life? In the grand scheme of the world we are insignificant and doomed to nothingness, which is a depressing thought, and one that I’d hoped would have inspired a bit more panic amongst single women.

Personally, the bit I’m not looking forward to is judgment day, because it

sounds like a lot of queuing. Also the ‘eternal’ bit’s a tad worrying as it’s quite easy to misjudge people; I’m often accused of being harsh and uncaring, something which is clearly untrue as I’m a big supporter of the Paralympics - it’s the best comedy on TV. I’m afraid that God’ll go, “right, I’ve seen your impression of Stephen Hawking it’s hilarious but I’m having none of it”, and that’ll be the end, I won’t have a leg to stand on (which is ironic). And what will hell be like anyway? Maybe it’s like Room 101 and I’ll be forced to confront my biggest fears, such as spiders, or Ainsley Harriott’s face.

Or maybe the two will somehow be combined and I’ll find myself facing a tarantula with extremely large gums.

Of course, I’m probably thinking about it too much, but we should have realistic expectations about death.

When I was younger, I used to believe that dying was a punishment for all the suffering that we imposed on others,

but as I grew up, Jim Davidson remained alive. My viewpoints therefore changed and I began to understand that death is just a drawn-out and cheerless process that eventually affects everyone, much like cramp, or having to resolve anything with Phones 4 U. This is why I think it’s silly when people complain about death being unfair, because life’s unfair; racism still rages in this country and looks set to get worse - at least until KFC agrees to employ white people - and there exists a huge inequality in the sexes even today, seeing as women can get served at clubs by simply showing their cleavage, yet the last time I flopped one of my balls onto the bar I got thrown out.

All in all, I guess my point is this – treasure life while it lasts. That, and if a man in a trench coat gives you a Werther’s Original and offers you a lift, make sure his face isn’t in the paper. I haven’t mentioned this much but it is good advice.

8

creative words

The Dash of Red Sian Symons

A Work of Fiction Anon This is a story about a young boy who comes from an upper-class family in a conservative society. His family is considered quite large by normative means but isn’t very rare by conservative society standards. He has five siblings in total and he is bang on in the middle.

He is the youngest of four boys but also a middle child. He has two younger sisters; the youngest of whom is a ‘person with special needs’. Her eyes are Asian-like, her tongue is a little bigger than normal, she is the ray of light in a home that would otherwise be pitchblack; she breathes life into a home that would otherwise suffocate; she brings peace to a house over-ridden with war; she looks like every other person with this condition, she is a Down syndrome child...

The young boy had quite a normal childhood considering he was the youngest of four boys. He played, he Let the violent breeze pursue, got bullied, he laughed, he loved, he got hurt, but he always managed to project Dare not reach out, remain unseen, a sense of naive optimism... that is until he was abused. He didn’t know at the Endure the sleet, the rain, the dew. time... but his child inner siren went The brave are strewn, the dead lie weak, off and he made a stop to it - whatever it was. Little did he know that ‘whatever it was’ was in fact, a moment that Scattered there upon on the floor, would haunt him for the rest of his life; a moment that defines everything about Once they reached out to feel the rays, him- every action, every personality trait, every touch, and every emotion; a No sooner they were torn. moment which has caused him to withdraw from the world for several years; a Torn from their beds, a fit of rage, moment which has brought darkness in the eyes of the young boy; darkness to The earth would not allow her a home that seems like a workshop for crushing souls because it was there... it The dash of red, amongst the grey is still there.

Left murdered in her bower.

Then his baby sister was born.

“There were complications, she has A lesson taught and fear alight a small hole in her heart,” that’s what they told him when he inquired about The brave shall die attempting fight why it was taking so long for mommy Winter rules harsh, slays those who seek to get back from the hospital. He could recall it did not take that long for a baby to come out of mom’s tummy last time, To become single, to be unique. he was leaning with his elbow on the The massacre on broken ground remain evidence, he was leaning with his elbow on his other sister’s head.

The joy, the youth, the dye is slain A week later, his mom holding his new little sister appeared through the All must winter and expire as one front door. The little thing in his mom’s arms looked like the cutest little person The dash of red he had ever seen. She was fast asleep, Gone.

Hide deep beneath the brown and green

pale, and extremely kissable. He ran and hugged his mom first, but it felt strange... there was something wrong.

This was not the mom he knew before.

She looked like her, she sounded like her, but she seemed... different, almost ... broken. He brushed those thoughts away as a symptom of the “whatever it was” experience, and plus, he thought, his little sister did have a hole in her heart which from what he has seen in cartoons, is something easily fixable with a little band-aid and a hug, but deduced it can still cause a mom to be worrisome and distant for awhile.

A few months with the new baby made the young boy get accustomed to her. Her hair grew straight and she seemed very energetic, even when she couldn’t see anyone around. His mom, however, was still as distant as ever. He would notice her going to the bathroom quite a lot when he and his siblings were around their new little sister. But he didn’t think anything of it. He loved hanging out with his baby sister everyday and nothing seemed to convince him to leave her alone. However, he eventually forced himself to find the time away from his little sister to hang out with his cousin one day.

This cousin wasn’t the most pleasant kid in the world, his idea of having fun is bullying smaller sized kids (which pretty much included everyone in his school since he was huge) and eating toothpaste (he seemed particularly fond of ‘Signal 2’ brand of toothpaste). The young boy caught the cousin eating toothpaste once, he never told him he knew his secret.

But he was the young boy’s cousin so he had to entertain him since he was nevertheless a guest at his home. Everything was going as typical as a day with that cousin could go; it was boring, annoying, and occasionally funny. The young boy heard a lot of hurtful words from the cousin over the years but he always managed to brush them off as immature tooth-paste eating blabber. But this day there were words that simply stuck to this young boy’s head; “I heard your sis is a mongoloid”.

The young boy kept thinking about what that word meant and sought to find a definition in his ‘childrens dictionary’ but with no avail. So after exhausting all other feasible options he decided it was time to ask his mom about it. He went into her room and found his little sister lying on her baby mat sleeping, and his mom sitting on the couch reading a newspaper. After finding the right timing, which took him about 10 minutes after sitting down next to his mom pretending to read a magazine, the young boy asked: “Mom...” “yes?”

“What is a mongoloid?”

It was like the question was a flamed arrow that struck her heart.

“Where did you hear that word!?” his mom snapped back “My cousin told me, that she was a mongoloid…” The young boy said while pointing at his baby sister. “...”

Tears started rolling off of mommy’s eyes... she was crying and he didn’t know what he did wrong. He started crying as well and leaped off of the chair and hugged her real tight. The tears were rolling off her eyes and falling on the young boys shoulder.

He was never the same after that. It was only later that day that his oldest brother explained to him that that ‘Mongoloid’ term was used, in that instance, as a derogatory name for people with their sister’s condition; people with Down Syndrome.

36 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

NEWS REVIEW 2007/2008

GAIRRHYDD@gairrhydd.COM

The year that was...

Student Council

At the start of the year gair rhydd reported the implentation of the new Student Police Initiative. This scheme was launched by third year student and Special Police Officer Sam Tappenden as a pilot scheme in association with the local police force. The scheme involved Special Police Officers patrolling the streets of Cathays and has proven successful in raising awareness among students about crime prevention.

The evening patrols focus on student housing in the early evening to deter would-be burglars, and as the night wears on they concentrate their work on the Students’ Union and the local pubs to ensure that students are safe after nights out.

In February we recieved positive news from Student Liason Officer PC Bob Keohane that crime was

A wide range of significant motions have been passed at Student Council this year, and gair rhydd has sought to fully explain and analyse the new policies, while providing space for Cardiff students to voice their views on them.

In November 2007, gair rhydd clarified the somewhat confusing situation with regard to the implementation of smoking areas in the Union in the wake of the smoking ban. Since those reports, the trial smoking areas on the balconies have now been established on a permanent basis.

Another major issue which Student Council has tackled is the ‘greening up’ of the Union. In March, gair rhydd News led with the story that two motions had been passed; one implementing a Domestic Air Travel Policy which precluded flights for matters of Student Union business, and the second requesting the Union President to lobby the Vice Chancellor to appoint a fulltime environmental manager. This continues a trend in environmental improvements, where at this time last year gair rhydd reported on the University and the Union being granted Fairtrade status, and will hopefully be an ongoing campaign for years to come.

In more recent issues, gair rhydd

on the decrease in the Student areas of Cardiff. However, although crime was decreasing opportunistic burglaries were still occurring in Cathays. The key message the police have enforced throughout the year is that students need to be more vigilant and careful so as to remove the opportunity from the opportunistic thieves that prowl in the student areas.

Although Sam Tappenden graduates and leaves Cardiff this year, the Student Police Initiative will continue with the help and enthusiasm of volunteers who have engaged with the project this year.

As a final warning for students leaving things in houses over the summer, do ensure that you leave all doors and windows secured so that thieves cannot break in.

d d y h r r i ga

FREE

02 2008 ISSUE 872 JUNE WEEKLY CARDIFF’S STUDENT free word - EST. 1972

INION/TELLY

EY/FEATURES/OP

BS&MON NSIDE...NEWS/JO

S E U N I T N O C E CRIM gair rhyddgair rhydd

14 gairrhydd

FREE

FREE

FEATURES

rhydd

INSIDE:

QUENCH GETS A MAKEOV

ER

digitalfilmfeaturestraveldebat musicfashionbooksblinddate e artsgayinterviews&m ore

features on the issue of body image film meet jack black fashion present: lessons in lingerie travel head to india plus all the latest music, film, arts & book reviews

CANNA-BUST

on the

BEAT

FREE

THIS ISSUE:

STUDENTS

Police raid on Cathays house uncovers illegal cannabis factory

ISSUE 859 FEBRUARY 04 2008 CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

gair rhydd gair rhydd14FR EE FEATURES VARSITY

n Combined student and police FREE efforts

create a safer Cardiff

n Police provide highly

FREE

INSIDE... ...NEW NEW LOOK GR/FEATU RES/JOBS&MONEY/NEWS

Police presence in SPORT/POLITICS/SCIENCE& CathaysINSIDE increase ENVIRONMENT/LISTINGS/TV ...NEWS/JO s as BS&MONEY/FEATU RES/TAF-OD/OPINION concerns rise over student safety

CRACK DOWN ON CRIME SPORT/TELLY/POLITICS/LON

All the results from tournament p.40-48last week’s

5 VICTIMS 5 ATTACKS 1 DAY

THIS ISSUE: high contrast point

within 24 hours in the areas of Cathays and student Roath

Continued on page 4:

digitalfilmfeatures traveldebate musicfashionboo ksblinddate ar tsgayinter views &more

leads to spate of ty ri u c se t n e d u th Poor st athays and Roa C in s e ri e b b ro house SPORT/POLITICS/SCIENCE

gair rhydd investigates student safety and reviews Cardiff’s crime statistics

&ENVIRONMENT/LISTINGS/

Corinne Rhoades News Editor

ng freely into resiThieves are walki as students are dences in Cathays their houses continuing to leave unsecured. students to lock urging are Police doors after seven and ws windo their on streets includburglaries took place Ninian Road last ing Harriet Street and nd. bank holiday weeke a target for Roath has also been . crime in recent weeks

INSIDE: ...

ENVIRONMENT SPECIALion POLITICS and SCIENCE & biggest issue facing our generat

SEPTEMBER.19.

FEATURES@gair

INSIDE:

Investigat

ions continue into fi ve ELY HEARTS/LISTINGS street robberies /GRABwhich took place

gair rhydd gairrhydd

Popova PHOTO: Natalia

visible presence on popular student nights

highlighted the important role that Student Council plays at the Union in news and opinion pieces around the contentious renovation plans for the SU building. At the end of May, the newspaper reported on how a motion passed at the final Council of this academic year ensured that students would be given an opportunity to vote in a referendum before designs were finalised. This story received a substantial and intense reaction from students which featured in both the newspaper and on gair rhydd’s website. What this coverage most clearly demonstrated was the key role student media play in facilitating debate and acting as an intermediary between the Union Executive and the student populace.

Outside of Student Council several other forums for debate took place this year on issues concerning Faith and LGBT issues.

The Faith forum held in December saw students of faith and non-faith come together to call for a more definite statement in relation to religious belief from the University.

At the last Student Council of this session, Sally Airey (Societies, Postgraduate and International Officer)

gair rhydd

INSIDE...NEWS/JOBS&MON EY/FEATURES/TAF-OD/OPIN ION

TV

2007

rhydd.COM

...analysis and opinion on the

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

ISSUE 848 OCTOB TOBER ER 01 2007 CARDIFF’S STUDE DENT NT WEEK WEEKLY LY free word - EST EST.. 1972

STUDENTS

for heroine.

Cathays CID taken place, one Head of Roath and Joshua urged Two robberies have are appealing Keith police Detective Inspector at knifepoint, and t “optake measures agains for witnesses. string students to a in latest the The crimes are portunist thefts”. crime spate has taken place in the But this most recent reissue their of incidents to have areas over t to cers studen offi ated caused police heavily popul plea. the last year. nnell, from gair rhydd reSergeant James O’Dounity Safety, In October 2007, cers had found 13 Comm South Wales Police ported that police offi , walking the streets Cathays in just 30 in ked unloc s said: “Thieves are house and the handles of doors trying y simpl minutes. day if it is left g their valuaStudents were leavin s, who were windows. It is their lucky easy access to thieve and they can get re insecu bles in plain sight of s stolen laptop reportedly exchanging

the premises. s lock doors “Our advice is to alway during warmer and windows, even

weather.” advice from poDespite continued ence is an ongoing lice, however, neglig student areas. problem in Cardiff’s Police Student Wales The South soon to celebrate its Initiative, which is students patrolfirst anniversary, sees an effort to combat ling the streets in . student-targeted crime able Sam TapSpecial Police Const establish the to penden, who helped

on the

BEAT

ll crime against Initiative, said overa is down by 25%. students in the city nothing new to He said: “There’s Students need to say prevention-wise. sible and take be individually responleaving a light like simple measures they go out and not or a radio on when TVs or computleaving boxes for new ers out in the street.

Continued on page

3

/RASPUTIN

NMENT/LISTINGS

&ENVIRO POLITICS/SCIENCE

g’ began last week Cardiff University’s ‘Year of Givin Main Building to with a light display in front of the celebrate its 125th anniversary

n Combined stu den and police efforts t create a safer Car diff n Police provid e highly visible presence on popular studen t nights Abigail Whittaker News Editor

works part-time in the force whilst reading History at Cardiff University, Launched this the scheme aims to year reduce student tarambition of a Cardiff through the geted crime and ensure student safety.

South Wales Police student, the Increased recentl Studen y and operating t Initiative aims to create from early evening until the early hours between the Policestronger links of the morning, officer foot patrols and Cardiff providi are students. ng a highly visible presence on student nights out.

Co-ordinated by Studen t Liaison Officer PC Bob Keohan Initially, patrols focus on student Police Constable Sam e, and Special housing to deter would-be burglars, Tappenden, who and later in the evenin g, move towards the

William Taylor News Editor

busy student areas to are safe when returni ensure students ng home.

With the support of the Students’ Union, a website is also being developed with a wealth of information on crime prevention.

In addition, the Union are expected to create an advertising campaign for the scheme and are looking to involve the Student Volunteering Group.

Jonny Cox, Studen t’s Union President, said: “We support the venture

whole heartedly. It is dents’ personal safetynot only the stuthat will hopefully be improved, but also the behaviour of our student s when Union. This will provide leaving the great benefits for our community relation The Police also intend s.” to set up a student ‘Community Watch’ with the involvement of a series of representatives living across Cathays. Their responsibility would be to monitor the safety in their area and relay this infor-

mation to an officer.

SPC Tappenden, final year, said: “To currently in his the Police will need make this work, dents. They are currenthelp from stuvolunteers to becom ly looking for e student-police representatives.”

Cardiff is currently one of the safest student cities, with only five percent of students becoming victims of crime, compared to the national average of one in three.

a January marked the start of celebrator y year to mark Cardiff University’s 125th anniversar y.

The official date for the University’s 125th anniversary is not until October 24, but a whole year of celebrations are planned to mark the milestone event.

Celebrations began with a spectacular illumination of the University’s Main Building.

2008 is being called the ‘Year of Giving’ by the University and is the main focus for the year’s events.

The University has said the ‘Year of

of Giving’ would include celebrations ts past, present and future achievemen by all involved with the institution.

Dr David Grant, Cardiff University’s Vice Chancellor, said: “Our 125th anniversary is about celebrating all that our staff and students have achieved but also recognising the potential of all that can and will be achieved in the future.

“We will celebrate the foundations on which we have built our current successes, and we will recognise the distance we still have to travel.”

Further events include concerts, conferences, ceremonies, award lectures, sporting and other cultural and social events, which the University says are “all designed collectively to bring

to together the widest range of people mark this important year.”

Dr Grant said: “Further events and stage planning the in activities are still and your views on how we celebrate our past, our present and our future are welcome.”

The University is also calling for to today’s staff, students and alumni join in the ‘125 for 125’ appeal.

It is hoped the appeal to create 125 new scholarships will help the next generations of students meet their fee and living costs at Cardiff.

The first £100,000 of donations made a will be matched by the University as sign of their commitment to the ‘125 for 125’ appeal.

gair rh

FREE

CARDIFF University president Neil

Grant commented on the appeal, saying: “Cardiff University giving to its s, various communities and stakeholder and the stakeholders in their turn giving something back to the University.”

The appeal is one of many projects, planned to improve the future of the University.

Projects for the future have significant focus on bettering sports facilities for students studying at Cardiff University.

The planned improvements include the building of three floodlit all-weather tennis courts at the University Sports Complex, a total refurbishment of the old Field Hall sports centre, and new gyms inside both the Students’ Union and the University Sports Complex.

Kinnock

Non-sport related improvements at include a new Cancer Research Unit the Heath Park Campus and a new main s entrance to the School of Bioscience Campus.

Park on the Cathays Hannah Davies, captain of Economics “I nts: improveme the of said netball, have always been happy with the sports facilities at Talybont, but I can see how for some sports the facilities may need

to be improved.”

In addition to improvements on campus, the University is also running on-going competitions, including one focused upon photography.

Continued on page 5

/jobs&money/TAF-OD

INSIDE...SHAG WEEK/XPRESS LISTINGS/T

LIGHTING

Sam New

PHOTO: Ed Salter

Crime in Cathays

THIS ISSUE:

black rebel motorcycle club swn festival gender blender

Stud with outs a S wee T over mak Solu A the T V Unio forw trans smok cost It outsi tradi up legal smok a tria T vote T will week balco Solu It any Unio T on t and the n (AG Si was 2, th have T year again supp

someo told m mr scr you ar you ea

presented a draft policy on religion and belief from the University and opened up the policy for comment.

Universit Cardiff University has had an extremely successful year, and gair rhydd has been there to report it every step of the way, but ever ready for a ruthless investigation.

In November gair rhydd reported how Cardiff University joined the higher education elite, breaking into the top 100 universities in the world for the first time. A 42-place climb saw Cardiff take 99th place in the world rankings, and 19th in the UK. The news came after 37,000 applications for undergraduate courses made the university the eighth-most sought-after university in the UK. gair rhydd also revealed that the remarkable achievement followed a year that saw significant investment from the university, including a new £21 million School of Optometry and a record level of new research funding with awards totalling more than £110 million.

The good news, and good news coverage continued with widespread exposure of a string of awards for Sir Martin Evans, a

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

37

NEWS REVIEW 2007/2008

GAIRRHYDD@gairrhydd.COM

gair rhydd Changes in the SU

FREE

14

FEATURES gairrhydd presents

Volume II Winter 2007

INSIDE: th anthology oe second Cardiff stud f ents’ creative word s page 25

Structural and commercial changes to Cardiff University Students’ Union (CUSU) have been major stories in gair rhydd during 2008.

The decline in numbers attending Rubber Duck after Christmas resulted in the announcement that the once-popular night had to be cancelled in March.

CUSU Ents tried to entice students back with a string of offers but the final straw was when a Pub Golf themed night was forced to be cancelled at 9.30pm because “not enough tickets had been sold to give those who’d already bought their tickets a good night”.

Students who talked to gair rhydd put the low turnout down to the crowds being attracted to new clubs like Oceana and Revolution.

The night later relaunched as Spin in time for the end of term all dayer and also hosted the celebra-

ISSUE 858 DEC CARDIFF’S EMBER 10 2007 STUDEN free word - T WEEKLY EST. 1972

Volume II

FAITH TO F A

ITH

hydd Corinne Rho News Editor ades

Students of Cardiff Univ faith and non-faith at ersity have rallied thei beliefs in r the first ever faith. forum on Following a report by highlighting the inadequa gair rhydd cy prayer facil ities in the of Muslim students of University, all belie2007 fs were invit ISSUE 856 NOVEMBER discu ss the insti26 ed tutio n’s provision to CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY religious students. for free EST. 1972 The word My -Faith , My City marked a step forum (SU) towards by the Students’ Union pressuring the to develop a Univ ersit y spec Currently, the ific policy on faith.

Equal Opp and Diversity Policy Statementortunities the Universit outlines y’s Sex Discrimin policy in relation to the ation and Race Acts.

Relations Stating that applicant shall ‘no employee, student or than any othebe treated less favourably relevant to his r on any grounds not membership or her employment by or of University doesthe University’, Cardiff not bar anyo basis of faith ne on the .

But the forum , which took last Thursday place a more definite December 6, called for state ment in relat religious belie ion to f.

Sally It was at the time that Airethought mantha Shillabeer y, Societies , Postgrad and Inter uate providing outside smoking areas natio ws Editor nal Officer, thewould meeting arranged costasinaexcess of £50,000. platform peaceful However, the Union’sforbalconies dents will now be provided debate.

Open ing the being renovated to fit in currently h designated smoking areas are won’t all agre meeting, she said: “We e toda health and y,safety regulations, side the Union following with just like we now Student Council vote last meaning that these areas can be used to cater for smokers. ek.

Despite the Student Council The decision was made after an rwhelming majority voted to almost unanimously agreeing to ke the balconies surrounding pass the motion, concerns were raised regarding the decision to us available to smokers.

A further selected area next to allow people to light up outside the Taf. Taf has also been proposed.

It was suggested by one student Vice President of the Students’ on, Rowena Vassallo, put that there would be a possibility of ward the motion when it students passively inhaling smoke spired that creating designated when entering the bar and using the king areas would incur no extra cash points outside.

Vassallo acknowledged these to the Students’ Union. t stated that the balconies apprehensions, but said: “It is ide the Union’s main licensed important for students to know that ing areas should be opened these smoking areas will be open in accordance with relevant for a trial period only and the policy l requirements, and that these will be reviewed again by February king areas would be treated on after consultation with students.

“We have had a period of time al basis.

The motion was passed by 57 without smoking facilities and now we are going to be able to see the es to four, with one abstention.

The main smoking area, which positives and negatives of providing be opened in the next few them.”

She added: “Our main priority is ks, will be situated on the ony behind the Junction Bar in to ensure that all students are able to enjoy the Union and hopefully us. t will hold up to 150 people at the new policy will allow this to one time, and be supervised by happen. At the very least it will prevent people from having to on safety stewards.

The two chosen sections will be smoke on the Union steps.”

Oz Thakkar, a third-year trial for the next three months come under review again at Journalism, Film and Media next Annual General Meeting student, spoke of the benefits the smoking areas will offer to both the GM) in February. ince the national smoking ban Union and its students.

He said: “I’m sure it will introduced to Wales on April he Union and its licensed areas encourage more people to attend Union nights. Towards the end of e been a non-smoking zone.

This decision was made at last last year I stopped going as much r’s AGM, when students voted because of the smoking restrictions nst spending any money on but now I’m back again on a weekly basis.” plying facilities for smokers.

don’t always agre at least we can e in our studies, but understanding construct an element of .”

Despite this, students, rega the beliefs voiced by rding the way religion shou ld be cater in which university, caus ed for at ed tension points durin at various g the night.

One forum is a preferenc attendee claimed: “Faith e and not a perso sparking outc nal need,” ry that they “do from students who said valu their academic e other things besides experience”.

The minutes now be writt from the forum will en up into Airey, to be presented to a report by the Universit in early Janu y ary.

Considering the perspective SU on the issue of the s raised so as the stude nt debate facil far, as well forum, the repo itated by the points for both rt will produce action the Universit SU itself. y and the It will coincide with another put together report,

by Gareth Powell from the Cardiff University focusing on Card Chaplaincy, iff Univ ersity’s curre provision for nt faith 8 The upcoming .

MAY 26 200 weeks will also Univ ISSUE 871 KLY ersit see WEE y the STUDENT 1972 by mem put under further CARDIFF’S pressure bers of EST. free word to act on this the SU executive team issue.

Universities, Glasgow, Warw including Nottingham, have Quiet Roomick and LSE, already s on campus to provide for the religious or nearby needs of Continued on page four

THE POWER OF PHOTOS

G UP

d d y h r r gai

Salter

FREE

PHOTO: Ed

ION AF-OD/OPIN EATURES/T /F Y E N TH O M IS ISSUE: we are scie WS/JOBS& fashion shoo ntists mus INSIDE...NE t ic record interview

RACY C O M E D R TE FO

one once me ruff re what at

with santa claus food guide to a no turkey christmas

of the year film, ar ts, books, cult classics and more

g a ir rhydd d d y h r gair FREE

FREE

2008 ISSUE 870 MAY 19 NT WEEKLY CARDIFF’S STUDE free word - EST. 1972

AF-OD/OPINION NEY/FEATURES/T MO S& OB /J WS NE INSIDE...

plus all the latest music film arts book digital reviews

n of the en explanatio In the writt ction could al areas” stated: “Jun n “multi-function n and plans he The only reasois constructing a great bar. the Unio cil resolving in order to diversify of become not being labelled as a bar e Coun rang r ent wide more, with that it is passed at Stud h is accessible by all increase its appeal to a is not just a because it will be so much provision whic t students ring that “it before the good that “a vote e 870), upse students, decla sphere and a drinks.” rhydd (issu began voicing their students should take place atmo nice a alcoholic nation of bar”. d off”. immediately labeer food and non- ded the proposed written expla plans are signe which saw a significant Union of In a further Samantha Shil ‘Outrage concerns.

He also defen s, claiming: “The declared: “The student the focus The Council, group entitled dance due to News Editor the plans, he ging g of Solu A Facebook was set up still iff SU plans’ of gair increase in atten elopment, also gave needs to adapt to the chan For far too downsizin students do redev plans are, if nds. at the new Card week Jonny Cox on the Union and, at the time hic and dema emphasis on way the out every night of the students University last Saturday print, had in excess of Students’ Union Presidentlogic behind demograp total to go a iff want that. vote had Card to to have that All in the time provision for long we opportunity rhydd going chance to expla l services It’s ing and we will have be slightly less, the t ercia will have the ents’ Union (SU) 2,300 members. migh ved comm city our recei .

“The capa ties, volunteer began his there.” d website also . the proposals on the Stud plans before any Tuesday, he our clubs, socie rtunities were given but the provision is still The gair rhyd nt Speaking last commenting on the ents on the plans ent oppo Tuesday’s redevelopme common by over 160 comm rtaken, last SU, developm inence.” most presentation the 4 citly work is unde cil decided. state of the more prom Among osed removal and dreary y also expli n Continued on page are needed Student Coun the redevelopment was complaints were the prop Room, and outdated However, Jonn in the Unio major changes the Games claiming that will still be standing in stated that bar provision The issue of cil’s agenda at the last and .

Taf letely the it of Coun ved comp ensure that g of Solus. l rumours added to the that the to years time. will not be remo the downsizin attempt to dispe rtance of to guarantee minute in an tion surrounding the the ten sed the impo In an attempt will “benefit was He also stres and dissatisfac tual changes on of the even rity of students”, a moti plans. publication majo Following the in last week’s gair ges proposed chan

Stu

STINGS/TV

NMENT/LI CE&ENVIRO TICS/SCIEN

SPORT/POLI

ISSUE 850 OCTOBER 15 2007 CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

INSIDE...FEATURES/JOBS&MONEY/NEWS/TAF-OD/OPINION

GREEN TIMES AHEAD

+ MORE CF10 SPACE FOR - NO GAMES SOCIETIES, - NO ROOM AU, SVC & - SMALLER MEDIA SOLUS + NEW GYM

Sophie Cole Science & Environment Editor Cardiff University has vowed to reduce its carbon footprint with the launch of its first ever Energy, Water and Waste Management Policy.

The meeting, which took place within the Glamorgan building last Thursday, aimed to demonstrate Cardiff’s commitment to tackling its impact on the environment.

The policy was signed in front of Jane Davidson, Minister for Environment, Sustainability and Housing.

Davidson, who was also a guest speaker at the event, applauded Cardiff’s dedication to combating Climate change and ‘making Global Warming central to one’s portfolio’.

David Honeymen, from the Carbon Trust said: “Cardiff is the first university in Wales to enter into this official partnership with the Carbon Trust. This shows it is prepared to take the lead.”

But David Grant, Vice Chancellor of Cardiff University, expressed the ‘challenges’ that lay ahead in Cardiff’s ‘mission’ to cut its carbon footprint.

The launch also introduced the University’s newly established Energy Steering Group.

Made up of key figures from the

institution, including assistant director John Newton, Head of Engineering Professor Hywel Thomas and Students’ Union President Jonny Cox, the group will be responsible for the ‘policy, strategy and target for energy, water and waste management’.

David Grant, who will chair the ESG, also took the opportunity to emphasise the need for ‘personal responsibility’, as well as a ‘community commitment’ in order to make the change.

In June the Times Green League of British Universities was published, ranking the environmental performance of UK Higher Education Institutions against a variety of criteria.

Contrary to the launch’s notions of Cardiff ‘leading the way’, Cardiff was

SPORT/POLITICS/SCIENCE&ENVIRONMENT/LISTINGS/TV

gair rhydd

FREE

ISSUE 866 APRIL 21 2008 CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

INSIDE: NEWS/JOBS&MONEY/FEATURES/TAF-OD/OPINION

Death by Coke?

News page 4

INTERNATIONAL SUCCESS Cardiff scores top marks for international student satisfaction Samantha Shillabeer News Editor Cardiff University has been ranked among the best in the country for international student satisfaction.

This follows the release of figures from the International Student Baromter survey, which focused on pre-arrival experiences and those that took place within the first month at university.

The Students’ Union scored a quality rating of 93%, putting it in second place out of the Russell Group universities and fifth overall.

In total, 91 higher education institutes participated in the survey, including ten from Wales.

Overall learning satisfaction for Cardiff was scored at 84%, with particularly high marks being given to lecture effectiveness (97%), library facilities and course content (both

90%).

There was also a great deal of positive feedback for many aspects of the living experience in Cardiff.

The University was rated first in the Russell Group for cost of accommodation and second for cost of living.

1,295 of Cardiff’s international students replied to the questionnaire – a response rate of 36%.

A University spokesperson told that this turnout was “an average response rate and was seen as both representative and positive”.

But it was added that the University “will continue to encourage feedback for future surveys, while also exploring new ways to encourage feedback throughout the year”.

The wide range of services available to international students at Cardiff both before and after they arrive in the country were also highlighted.

These include a full orientation programme, access to English language classes and the provision of courses to help the development of study skills.

The Student Support Centre also has two International Student Advisors who provide help on personal, financial, academic and immigration issues.

A spokesperson commented on the University’s desire to expand on these successes.

A statement said: “The positive results are very encouraging, but this does not mean that the University will become complacent.

“We will continually strive to improve the services we offer to all our students.”

Societies, Postgraduate and International Officer Sally Airey commented on the projects undertaken by the Union Executive team to improve the experience of foreign students in Cardiff.

She said: “This year we have set up an International Student Committee to improve our communication with international students and to get their ideas and feedback on key academic, welfare and social issues.

“February’s ‘Go Global’ campaign also encouraged many international students to become more involved with the Union and integrate with home students while celebrating their cultures.”

But Airey also emphasised that there are still areas which need work.

Discussing ways in which facilities for international students could be improved, she said: “One area the University needs to resolve is the ongoing issue of faith.

“Many students come to Cardiff with the expectation that they will be able to practise faith within the University only to be disappointed with the lack of Quiet Room facilities.”

SPORT/POLITICS/SCIENCE&ENVIRONMENT/LISTINGS/TV

ISSUE 863 MARCH CARDIFF’S STUDE 03 2008 NT WEEKL free word - EST. 1972Y

welsh cult icons plus all the latest music, film, arts & book reviews

Rubber Duck loo ks last week’s even set to undergo a radical revamp t was abanoned due to poor ticke after sales Corinne Rhoades

traditionally popular News Editor with sports to the teams, has been ‘clubhouse’ in Solus. suffering from a decline in attende A spokesperson But the Studen es since midway Entertainments Departm ts’ Union recognise that the night said: “We many chose to continu through last semeste The doors to Solus r. e their night only works elsewh the event at 9.30pm ent cancelled if the club’s full, so last Wednesday were locked In a bid to boost sales, ere. rather because “not just night a string of enough after offers were Vicky Williams, Social poor ticket sales a few people in there than see tickets had been devised to try we decided of the Secretary cancellation of Rubbeforced the the night. Last Wednes and revamp those who’d already sold to give to cancel.”

Ladies’ Rowing team, bought their attended r Rubber Duck after Duck had a Pub Golf day’s Rubber tickets a good night”.

As a consequence, The club night, whichDuck. a social the week theme which is run by was had bought tickets were students who before its cancellation. the Students’ Union The refunded and (SU) and was at set to involve students drinking people previous week under a hundred given 9 different holes before drinks vouchers. were left in attenda nce by the returning end of Junctio the night. n, Solus’ bar, was also Continued kept open so student on page 4 s could stay but

MENT/LIS

SCIENCE&ENVIRON

achieved through a ‘ten point plan’ to be implemented through a ‘Strategic Management Action Plan’. gair rhydd spoke to John Cowie, Ethical and Environmental Officer for the Students’ Union, who calculated that the anticipated reduction of 26, 000 tons in five years would cut current emissions by 56%.

Cowie said: “With regards to the Green League, if this reduction happened today our carbon emissions per head would then be equivalent to that of Sheffield University, and our ranking would improve to 41.

“Whilst this is undoubtedly a positive step we need to question whether this is ambitious enough for a University of Cardiff’s stature.”

listed 82nd out of 102 Universities, with a score of 18 out of 50, leaving it lagging behind Glamorgan (4th) and Swansea Institute (27th).

Figures revealed within the launch also showed Cardiff University’s emissions to have been steadily rising by 10% per annum until last year, which saw a two percent reduction.

It was said that the policy will see a more ‘efficient management of resources’, to measure energy consumption more precisely and ensure improvements and targets can be acknowledged and analysed.

One such target aims to reduce carbon emissions by 26,000 tons in the next five years.

It was implied that this will be

features get nostalgic fashion shoot for spring

CANCELLED

TS’ UNION T OF THE STUDEN TS.COM REDEVELOPMEN STUDEN IFF RD CA PLANS FOR THE ON EK ILED THIS WE 3 HAVE BEEN UNVE FULL STORY PAGE ON PAGE 9 - 14 YSIS AND OPINI AL AN D’S YD RH GAIR INSIDE: SPORT/LIS TINGS TINGS/TV

SPORT/POLITICS/

PHOTO: Ed Salter

Professor of Mammalian Genetics at Cardiff University dubbed ‘the father of stem cell research’. Sir Martin was first awarded the prestigious Nobel Prize, then the Great Briton Award, and even appeared on Desert Island Discs. gair rhydd was unrelenting in its coverage of his successes.

January marked the start of Cardiff University’s celebration of its 125th year, revealed to an unknowing student audience by a front-page gair rhydd story detailing the year of dedicated celebrations planned.

And a superb year for the university and student reporting was capped by the news that Cardiff was ranked among the very best universities in the UK for international student satisfaction. An overall quality rating of 93% reflected extremely positive feedback from international students impressed with the Cardiff University experience.

14

FEATURES

PHOTO: Portia Nicholson

ty News

gair rhydd

gairrhydd

FREE

FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

the cribs interviewed & reviewed

ION? YOUR U- N NO TAF

t plans

developmen in Union re y sa al n fi e dents to hav

OCTOBER.22.2007

THIS ISSUE:

THE FUTURE OF

SALTER PHOTO: ED

VO

at winter wonderland backstage at the pop fact or y

about the Students’ Union this year was the proposed redevelopment plans for the whole Students’ Union building.

They saw the Taf, Games Room and CF10 going in a shake-up of the space used in the students’ union. The plans also added more space for societies, the Athletic Union and student media groups, a new gym on the fourth floor and, most controversially, new “social learning and network spaces”.

After being reported by gair rhydd and released on cardiffstudents. com the was a surge of comments on gairrhydd.com and a number of protest groups were set up on Facebook both for and against the plans including ‘Outrage at the new Cardiff SU plans’ which had more than 2,300 members a week after gair rhydd broke the story.

PHOTO: Ed Salter

An anthology of creative writing by Cardiff University students

tion party after Cardiff defeated Swansea in the annual Varsity tournament. gair rhydd also reported on plans to create a new cafe bar in Junction bar and the Xpress Radio Lounge, also known as Buffers, to be used in the day when the nightclub is not open.

Junction, the entry point into Solus’ main room, will become a cafe with “an open-plan learning environment” and a glass topped balcony with outside seating in the areas which were used for nighttime smoking outside Solus this year.

The plans were presented to student council for approval and the development will go ahead over the summer holidays to be ready for freshers’ fortnight in October 2008.

But the biggest story to break

/TELLY/INTERVIEW

S/FEATURES

Student Media Success Student Media has enjoyed many successes this year.

After much anticipation CUTV launched in November 2007. The quality of shows that have been produced this year has been fantastic.

CUTV Controller, Huw Thomas commented on the output: “We have seen a variety of different shows produced for CUTV this year. In our first year we have already established successful current affairs, sports and lifestyle programmes.”

In March, CUTV documented the events of the SU Elections. This coverage included two live broadcasts of the Hustings event and the election result.

Despite operating out of a tiny ‘broom cupboard’ this year, CUTV has set strong foundations for itself,

and the future is certainly prosperous for the newest addition to Cardiff’s student media.

The launch of XFM South Wales in October had serious repurcussions on Xpress Radio this year. Because of licensing restrictions Xpress Radio were denied an FM license in the Autumn semester. But March was a double-whammy for Xpress as they secured both an FM and DAB Digital license. Students broadcast for a three-week period that ran until the Easter break.

Although disheartened by the lack of broadcast in autumn, Xpress Radio volunteers recognised the advantages of the spring broadcast: “We’ve had a lot more time to practice and perfect our shows now. The fact that we didn’t get the license in

December just made everyone work really hard to produce the best output we could in March” commented one presenter.

During the broadcast, live shows were broadcast from some of the Go Global events that took place, including the International Music Festival.

Students from gair rhydd have also had their own individual successes this year. Ed Salter (Picture Editor) made his way into the final six in The Times Young Photographer of the Year Award. Columnist, Huw Davies, saw success at the MIND Awards last month, as he walked away with the title of MIND Student Journalist of the year for his feature on coping with OCD.

38 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTOS@gairrhydd.COM

the year in pictures

Natalia Popova

Ed Salter

Ed Salter

Left to right Pendulum, Fun Run 2008, Carnage, Break Dancing, Duffy, Freshers’ Crew 2007, Go Green Campaign, Gig Crowd, Go Team, Varsity

Ed Salter

Ed Salter

Ed Salter

Ed Salter

gairrhydd

PHOTOS@gairrhydd.COM

Ed Salter

Ed Salter

Ed Salter

JUNE.09.2008

PHOTOGRAPHY

39

40 gairrhydd

THANK YOU

JUNE.09.2008 GAIRRHYDD@gairrhydd.COM

The team that brought you all this and more...

Amy Harrison, editor

Ben Bryant, Quench editor

It has been absolutely fantastic to have such a supportive team this year. The year has had its ups and downs and I couldn’t have done it without you all.

News... You guys have been truly awesome this year. I still can’t believe just how lovely and sweet you all are. Sport... Best Section again, if only the judges knew the truth. You have all kept me entertained all year (except the weeks when you bailed). Huw and Chris, the leg-ends of Opinion. Everything you two do, you do brilliantly.

Huw you have shown tireless commitment to the paper this year, you really do have a beautiful mind. TV... You really have kept me on my toes this year but I still love you all. Listings... I’m looking forward to reading back through all the jokes in listings this year. Pure gold. Ted Handsome... You’ve caused me the most problems out of everyone this year. But it wouldn’t have been the same without you.

Features... Emma you kept it all going this year, thanks for keeping features strong! Science... Miss Glamour thank you fo all your hard work this year. Politics... Tim, you are the only true gentleman in the office. Grab... Hannah and Tom thanks for keeping the competitions going. Investigations... Lee, begrudgingly you have done a little bit of everything this year, even fetching me water and driving me home. Thanks!!! Adam Millword thank you for being there all the time, so glad you stayed on the team this year. Taf Od... Diolch yn fawr Gwilym and Ffion, I haven’t understood a word of what you have written all year, but I really appreciate your continued commitment. Jobs... Jess you’ve been a ledge all year! Photography...

Ed what can I say, you are an amazingly talented photographer and will certainly go far. Web... Paul, don’t leave Cardiff. Ever. Graeme... thanks for being there when I needed you. To all you Quenchies too I love you all and you have made Quench bloody awesome this year.

Special shout outs to Kath and Sim who have always been there for me. Proofreaders... Thank you! Elaine I really couldn’t have done it without you thank you so much for all of your support.

Hazel, good luck next year! I know you will keep Ben in control and make sure Quench stays top notch. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben I don’t know where to begin and am seriously running out of words. Ta babes!

Because of all of you this year has been the best year of my life.

Thank you and good luck with everything in the future!

For once, I can’t let my ego run riot on the page because I have too many people to thank. So here are the personals. Chris, Gilly and Jim – thankyou for nurturing the section closest to my heart and keeping it brilliant. Amy and Tash – without you, Quench would just be a smutty rag with none of the sophistication you bring to it. Tom – you’ve done a great job with creative words this year and we will miss you. Gareth – you are a GOD for being one of the few editors to keep to deadlines. And that goes for Lucy and Amelia too - thankyou! Dom – well, to be honest, you didn’t always stick to your deadlines, but when you did Digital was ace. Jo and Mary – fashion has been sexier than ever this year, and you have done an awesome job. Sorry to see you go. Matt - great job. Jim and Kirsty – you’re pretty cool, and so was travel. I like that. Andy – a well deserved best section win; next year will be all-time. Annika – stop fussing about your pages, they look fucking brilliant! Luce, Mike and Annika (again) – you have mingled with the slebs and scored us some top drawer material. That’s what I’m talking about! Fran, Kyle and Si – music has been the cat’s meow. I don’t have to touch it because you’re too damn good. Will – you are my friend and I love you much, even if I haven’t seen you in the office for the last three months...! Dan – you’ve had some great ideas this year and your food is super delicious! Sophie P - you have saved Quench on numerous occasions, you’re always reliable and your photos are superb. Thankyou. Rosie - I wish I could draw half as well as you. Without you Quench and creative words would be much uglier.

Kath - you kept me in high spirits all through my campaign and you have always been there to help. Be my pen pal. Ed - you are a legend, your photos are incredible and The Times should have snapped you up long ago. We will go surfing soon. Hazel – you know I think you will be bloody brilliant next year. Just to let you know, I’m renaming the mag Bench. K thnx Bai Sim - I love you, I hate you, Quench literally wouldn’t exist without you. Thankyou Elaine - thanks for being a witness so Amy couldn’t beat me. Your calming aura has been a godsend. Finally, a massive thankyou to all of my campaign team - Kath, Lucy, Tom, Adam, Sim, Will, Lee, Suze, brown Chris, Kate, Rich, Roggy, Sarah, Rich, and lots more! I wouldn’t have a job without you. And Amy - I don’t know what to say except DREAM TEAM. And that’s it! I am sorry - very, very SORRY - if I’ve missed you out! Come visit me next year in the office!

And the award goes to...

This year we’ve mostly been...

The Hubba Bubba Award for GUM Clinic dedication... Adam Millward The Ben Bryant Award for Commitment to Monobrows and Media Awards Drunkenness... Ben Bryant The Kerry Katona Mum of the Year Award... Abigail Whittaker The gair rhydd Blue Peter Badge... Will Taylor The Tickle-Me-Elmo Award for Giggling... Pete Dean The Kim Jong-Il Award for Censorship... Amy Harrison The Lily Allen Award for Ridiculous Hair Colouring... Huw ‘What time is it?’ Davies The George Best Award for Most Entertaining Liver Damage...

Scott ‘Fucked on 4’ ‘Wiggins’ D’Arcy Survivor... Emma ‘Last of the Features eds’ Thomas The Maddy McCann Missing in Action Award... Dan ‘Mr Cardiff University’ Jones The Jamie Dance Thunder Amusing Name of the Year Award... Chris Croissant The Adam Millward Stud of the Year Award... Andy Rennison The Dave Menon Slow Award... Lee Macaulay (investigation pending) Brangelina couple of the year award... Pete Dean and Steve Florey

Taste testing all the pizza establishments in Cardiff n Mixing our metaphors n Avoiding headlines that rhyme with ‘Varsity” n Fixing the printer n Apologising n Pondering the opportunities life must hold for Jamie Dance Thunder n Wondering what the ‘other’ publication is doing n Then outdoing it n Phoning Salter n Punning SOCSI n Giving journalism a damn good name n Forgetting to save Rennison pizza n Wrecking Winter Wonderland n Blaming Lee n Trusting Taf-Od editors n Not getting paid n Raiding YouTube n Resisting the spread of CUTV in the office n Changing to InDesign n Dancing n Celebrating Christmas in February n Abusing Zorab for shit blue bars n Avoiding petit filous from Hitchins n Getting drunk on a white wine spritzers n Saying goodbye to monochrome mastheads n Photoshopping ants n Googlefighting n Cocking off n Convincing the world that pandabirds are real n Getting sexier n Getting geeky over fonts n Spreading bohemian homosexuality subliminal messages n Face-raping everyone at every opportunity n Causing outrage with Amber Duval n Lambrini-working n Writing letters n Cursing jpegs n Changing templates every week n Making newspapers n Making magazines n Duh

OCTOBER.22.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

gairrhydd

14

FEATURES

14 gairrhydd

FEATURES

OCTOBER.22.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008 TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM .

HOT

!TELLY! The

As I write, I am awaiting, in a mildly eager fashion, the final episode of BBC1’s The Invisibles. An ideal article about this show would detail how I started to watch merely out of love for Anthony Head and was instantly hooked so tuned in week after week. Sadly this is far from the truth as Head quickly became the only reason I watched each week and my loyal to him was truly put to the test.

The Invisibles are a once feared criminal gang who have retired to live the quiet life in Devon. Unfortunately in every episode there is a dramatic device leading to them returning to do a bit of crime and coming up against modern security that they aren’t used to. Think of New Tricks with criminals swapped for police and you’ve pretty much got the concept.

Our daring decrepid duo consist of Maurice Riley and Syd Woolsey (great criminal names) played by Anthony Head and Warren Clarke. Head is untouchable as far as I’m concerned and after the first episode he thankfully stopped attempting a wide boy accent which proved distracting. I was

redit

never a huge fan of Dalziel and Pascoe but Clarke is entertaining enough as bumbling Syd whose main role seems to be forgetting to turn off the secondary alarm system which is always hilarious and never tires.

TELLY

NOT

runch

Hedley (Dean Lennox Kelly), whose father apparently used to be an Invisible, soon joins the pair as the pretty unconvincing and weedy muscle. The gang is complete and the “craziness” begins. Every week is a

different crime, each with it’s own bit of moral justification so it’s that bit easier to sympathise with the characters.

With everything set up, there is potential for an amusing and interesting series here that is never realised. The jokes are pretty bad, not quite invisible because you know when you’re supposed to laugh but simply don’t. It’s also hard to relate to weird problems such as Maurice’s daughter, played by Head’s real daughter Emily Head who wants to go to America to become an exotic dancer. I can’t even remember how it was all wrapped up; it was so uninteresting. Making criminals lovable isn’t enough to fill six hour-long episodes.

The Invisibles isn’t terrible though and is pretty standard as BBC1 drama comedies go. But sometimes you want something that is a little more than average. The sad thing is after this week there’s little left on telly to watch, making shows like The Invisibles a fond memory. At least it’s summertime now so we can escape to the outdoors either to bask in the sunshine or to watch this years summer blockbusters. Truly anything is better than giving in to Big Brother fever.

SOAPS

EXTRA TERRESTRIAL

This may possibly be the best thing to have ever been created since the advent of the moving picture. The Dogway Melody is a series of comedy short films from the 1930s.

This masterpiece features dogs dressed to the nines walking on their hind legs doing a bit of acting. This piece of art is now available for all to gawk at on the wonder that is Youtube and if you are an uber keen bean it has also been released on DVD. Have a scour on Amazon.

My favourite part of this fabulous series is Queenie In Trouble which sees Queenie the leading bitch (see what I did there, I am more humourous than life) being set upon my a big spending gangster who attempts to rape her in her boudoir. I will admit It is

43

a bit disturbing to watch but also strangely fascinating.

The script is a bit ropey and the voiceovers could have been dubbed better but it is dogs in funny outfits pretending to be human. We all love a bit of that, it’s like watching Gin the dancing dog except he/she can talk.

What more could you want?!

This week in Hollyoaks, Amy’s haircut is unveiled for the very first time when Michaela swipes the hat from her head and doesn’t react too kindly towards it. Well, c’mon Ames you couldn’t have hidden it for another 10 years untill your original hair length was replaced could you?! The disillusioned girl’s lies carry on as she continues to play the pregnancy card with Ste. And lo and behold, just like the fib about Leah’s illness, it spirals out of control when Sarah catches wind of it.

Elsewhere, Fletch ends up homeless and alone, when he refuses to turn to Nige for the kick that he oh-so-needs and Rhys continues to feel out in the cold as his situation with Beth keeps rearing it’s ugly (and incestuous) head!

Over on ITV, in Corrie, Michelle and Steve have a row about what he did to Dan (plenty of hair-flipping, ‘look at it, it’s so glossy’ opportunities for Kym Marsh).

However, all disputes end in bad news, especially in Weatherfield, and it looks as if Steve might be heading elsewhere to seek comfort.... Also, Becky finally decides to confront Jason about their relationship - a possible second stigma of bad news?

FILM THE RING, BBC1, FRIDAY ))) It’s a pretty universal opinion that Japan makes far superior horrors, and The Ring is great example of a US remake with all the actual horror taken out and a recognisable face shoved in. Naomi Watts is pretty boring to watch and the truly disturbing Ringu is removed of all it’s flavour.

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, FIVE, SATURDAY )))) Romantic comedies are in general pretty similar and predictable, but, for some reason, this particular example has always seemed just a little bit better than the rest. Billy Crystal is actually funny and Meg Ryan does a good job, if you can put any Parkinson induced hatred aside. Just right for a Saturday afternoon.

FUDGE TUNNEL

MAID IN MANHATTAN, FIVE, SUNDAY ) A perfect example of why romantic comedies have a bad name; the dreaded Jennifer Lopez.

Tired and predictable this is one film that makes exams look like they might be fun.

44 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

TELLY

TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

MONDAY Britain Under Water Wales’ Got Talent BBC1 9.00pm Too BBC2 7.00pm BBC 1

BBC 2

Ghost Story ITV1 12.05am ITV 1

9th June Johnny Depp’s Birthday

Titanic C4 12.45pm Channel 4

Gridlock five 3.10pm Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Trash to Cash 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBeebies 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:15am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Big Brother’s Little Brother 8:00am Big Brother 9:00am Frasier 9:30am War of the World 10:25am Make Me a Grown Up 11:00am Make Me a Grown Up 11:30am Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Supporting Acts

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am I Own Britain’s Best Home 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order

1:00pm BBC News 1:30pm BBC Wales Today 1:45pm Doctors 2:15pm Diagnosis Murder 3:00pm BBC News 3:05pm CBBC

1:00pm Out of the Blue 1:25pm Tennis: Artois Championships

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm House Guest 3:30pm Taggart

12:45pm Titanic 2:20pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Animal Rescue Squad 3:05pm Five News Update 3:10pm Gridlock

5:00pm Goldenballs

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5:30pm Neighbours

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Euro 2008: Holland v Italy

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Fourdocs 8:00pm Dispatches: Gordon Brown: Where Did It All Go Wrong?

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7:15pm Cricket on five 8:00pm The Gadget Show

9:00pm Victorian Sex Explorer

9:00pm Warship

4:45pm UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day Live

7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm BBC Wales Today 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Panorama

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm A Taste of My Life 7:00pm Wales’ Got Talent Too 7:30pm The Profits Of Gloom 8:00pm Springwatch with Bill Oddie

9:00pm Britain Under Water

9:00pm Mary Queen of Shops

10:00pm BBC News 10:25pm BBC Wales Today 10:33pm BBC Weather 10:35pm One Foot in the Grave

10:00pm Have I Got News for You 10:30pm Newsnight

10:00pm News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm Six Degrees 11:35pm Never to be Forgotten 12:05am Ghost Story

10:00pm Big Brother

10:00pm Kidnapped Abroad

11:05pm UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day 11:55pm Seconds to Spare 1:25am Weatherview 1:30am Sign Zone: What Not to Wear Revisited 2:30am Sign Zone: Women In Black

11:20pm The Jet Stream and Us 12:20am Joins BBC News 4:00am Short Circuit: Biology

12:35am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 1:30am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Emergency 2:20am Loose Women 3:10am Everything Must Go Special 4:00am ITV Nightscreen

11:05pm Derren Brown: The System 12:10am Little Fish 2:10am Big Brother Live 4:00am Forum: Once Upon a Planet 5:00am When the Romans Came to Wales

11:05pm Cop 1:10am NASCAR 2:00am USPGA Golf 2:40am Arenacross 3:25am Boxing: Fight of the Week 5:10am House Doctor 5:35am Neighbours

PICK OF THE DAY Big Brother, Ch4, 10.00pm Yay, it’s finally back...the show that brought us the likes of ‘I like blinking I do’ Helen Adams, the transexual sweetheart Nadia Almada and the only gay in the village Brian Dowling. OK, so the housemates have gone in and already we are beginning to see some of the characters who are going to leave an impression on our already warped and contaminated minds! The house has been transformed once again into a piece of fine artwork, containing a luxurious Grecian bathroom and dormitory-style bedroom.

The colours are bright and the furniture is angular - carefully worked elements by the producers to ensure the housemates feel less than at home. Davina will continue to present the Friday night eviction shows and any of those one-off shows where the twists and turns are brought to light. However, Dermot will not be returning to our screens as the much-loved BBLB presenter because instead it’s going to be hosted by two relatively unknown numpties - oh joy!

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

TELLY

TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

TUESDAY UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day BBC1 4.45pm

The Supersizers Go...Seventies BBC2 11.20pm

BBC 1

BBC 2

Bingo Night Live!

ITV1 12.05am ITV

45

10th June Portugal Day

Make Me a Grown-Up C4 10.25am Channel 4

No Ordinary Baby five 3.10pm Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Trash to Cash 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBeebies 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:15am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:30am Big Brother’s Little Brother 8:00am Big Brother 9:00am Frasier 9:30am War of the World 10:25am Make Me a Grown-Up 11:00am Make Me a Grown-Up 11:30am Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 12:00pm News at Noon

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am I Own Britain’s Best Home 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order

1:00pm BBC News 1:30pm BBC Wales Today 1:45pm Doctors 2:15pm Diagnosis Murder 3:00pm BBC News 3:05pm CBBC:Lazytown 3:30pm CBBC

1:00pm Out of the Blue 1:25pm This Land 1:55pm am.pm 2:55pm Tennis: Artois Championships

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm House Guest 3:30pm Taggart

12:30pm Eating for Britain 12:45pm Titanic 2:20pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Animal Rescue Squad 3:05pm Five News Update 3:10pm No Ordinary Baby

5:00pm Goldenballs

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5:30pm Neighbours

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Euro 2008: Greece v Sweden

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Fourdocs 8:00pm 10 Years Younger

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7:30pm Extraordinary Animals 8:00pm Mystery of the Mummies

9:00pm Gordon Ramsay’s F Word

9:00pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

4:45pm UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day Live

7:00pm BBC News 7:15pm BBC Wales Today 7:30pm EastEnders 7:57pm BBC News and Regional News 8:00pm Holby City

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm A Taste of My Life 7:00pm Rugby Union: Junior World Championship

9:00pm Panorama Special

9:00pm Springwatch

10:00pm BBC News 10:25pm BBC Wales Today 10:33pm BBC Weather 10:35pm Week In, Week Out

10:00pm The Culture Show 10:30pm Newsnight

10:00pm News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm Piers Morgan on: Sandbanks

10:00pm Big Brother

10:00pm CSI: Miami

11:05pm Imagine... Annie Leibovitz Life Through a Lens 12:05am UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day 12:55am The Blood Beast Terror 2:15am Weatherview 2:20am Sign Zone:Abortion: The Choice 3:20am Sign Zone:Russia: A Journey

11:20pm The Supersizers Go... Seventies 12:20am Joins BBC News 4:00am Short Circuit

11:05pm Real Crime: The M25 Rapist Married to a Monster 12:05am Bingo Night Live!

1:05am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Mystery 2:00am Loose Women 2:50am The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:05pm Reaper 12:05am PartyPoker.com Premier League Poker 1:05am Fina World Diving Series 2:00am KOTV 2:30am Big Brother Live 4:00am Eureka! Roman Britain

11:00pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 12:00am The FBI Files 1:05am Indycar Racing 1:55am NBA Basketball 4:30am Race and Rally UK 4:50am Motorsport Mundial

PICK OF THE DAY Trisha Goddard, five, 10.30am An old-time favourite of mine, long before Jezza Kyle, which marked the era of the British chat show!

Trisha is probably the reason Vanessa Feltz scuppered to lose a few pounds and Jerry Springer went off-air; she is a woman to behold. Her topics are fresh and thought-felt, whilst her wielding of the show is expert to say the least. Despite her current battle with breast cancer, Trisha continues to work her magic, comforting the weeping guests and giving the arrogant the kick up the backside they deserve!

Now what’s a good show like this doing hidden on Channel five I ask you? Well probably because it’s the only good show on there (with the exception of Neighbours of course)! But truthfully this lady should be on the Beeb, where her talents will encourage a whole other generation to up the ratings! She needs to be seen, heard and touched (to some extent) to be believed. They even set exams on the programme now don’t you know?! Yes indeedy, I completed a rigorous analysis of a transcript just the other day!

46 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

TELLY

WEDNESDAY Teen Mum High BBC1 1.20am

In the Night Garden Britain’s Biggest Babies BBC2 10.00pm ITV1 9.00pm

BBC 1

BBC 2

ITV 1

TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

The World’s Hairiest Person and Me C4 11.05pm Channel 4

11th June Shia LaBeouf’s Birthday

Megastructures five 8.00pm Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Trash to Cash 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 10:00am In the Night Garden 10:30am Earth: The Power of the Planet 11:30am am.pm

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:30am Big Brother 9:00am Frasier 9:30am War of the World 10:25am Make Me a Grown Up 11:30am Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm John and Karen 12:35pm Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am I Own Britain’s Best Home 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order

1:00pm BBC News 1:45pm Doctors 2:15pm Diagnosis Murder 3:00pm BBC News 3:05pm CBBC

1:00pm See Hear 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Tennis: Artois Championships

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm House Guest 3:30pm The Funny Side of the Street 4:00pm Wales Tonight 4:30pm Euro 2008: Czech Republic v Portugal

2:20pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Rough Guide to Beaches 3:05pm Five News Update 3:10pm Flowers for Algernon

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5:30pm Neighbours

7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The Bill: We Are Family (Part Two)

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Fourdocs

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7:30pm Massive Speed

9:00pm Britain’s Biggest Babies

8:00pm Location, Location, Location 9:00pm River Cottage Spring

8:00pm Megastructures 9:00pm The Hotel Inspector Revisits

5:00pm Newsround 5:15pm The Weakest Link

6:00pm BBC News 6:30pm BBC Wales Today 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm A Question of Sport 7:57pm BBC News and Regional News 8:00pm EastEnders

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Springwatch 7:30pm UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day Live

9:00pm The Apprentice

10:00pm BBC News 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws 10:40pm The Apprentice: You’re Hired

10:00pm The Apprentice: You’re Fired 10:40pm Newsnight

10:00pm News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm The Ferret

10:00pm Big Brother

10:00pm Naked Parents: Hidden Lives

11:15pm Enemy at the Gates 1:15am Weatherview 1:20am Sign Zone: Teen Mum High 2:20am Sign Zone: Seaside Rescue 2:50am Alternative Therapies 3:50am Sign Zone: Hard Sell 4:20am Joins BBC News

11:30pm Dangerous Knowledge 1:00am Joins BBC News 4:00am Short Circuit: Chemistry, Biology and Physics

11:05pm Never To Be Forgotten 11:35pm Secret Diary of a Call Girl 12:05am Bingo Night Live!

1:05am Quincy, ME 2:00am Loose Women 2:50am The Jeremy Kyle Show 3:40am ITV Nightscreen

11:05pm The World’s Hairiest Person and Me 12:10am Album Chart Show: Feeder 12:45am The Nokia Green Room 1:15am Coming Up: Imprints 1:40am Stargate SG-1 2:25am Big Brother Live

11:05pm Most Evil 12:05am PartyPoker.com European Open IV 1:35am Major League Baseball 4:45am Golf - The Challenge 5:10am House Doctor 5:35am Neighbours

PICK OF THE DAY The Apprentice, BBC1, 9.00pm It’s the finale on The Apprentice and so it’s time for a few generic comments methinks. Who will Sir Alan choose to be point the finger of fate at? How will our contestants fare in the final task as contestants past return for a final bit of pitch? It’s anyone’s game and all to play for so... yay? This series has paraded the most annoying and obnoxious individuals in front of us as the most bearable of the bunch are steadily asked to leave. The final four, an oddly large group for a finale, consist of two pathetic males and two “opinionated” women, none of whom I could bear to work with for an hour let alone the full year they’re being offered. Working with this crowd would be worse than the weekly bullying I suffer in the gairrhydd offices at the hands of Ted Handsome. Fire the lot of them Sir Alan and get Simon back!

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

TELLY

TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

THURSDAY Countryfile

Heroes

BBC1 1.55am

BBC2 9.00pm

BBC 1

BBC 2

Brothers and Sisters in Love ITV1 9.00pm ITV 1

12th June Trooping the Colour

Reach for the Sky

Pleasure for Sale

C4 12.30pm

five 11.00pm

Channel 4

Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Trash to Cash 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 10:00am In the Night Garden 10:30am Educational TV 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:30am Big Brother’s Little Brother 8:00am Big Brother 9:00am Frasier 9:30am War of the World 10:25am Make Me a Grown Up 11:30am Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Reach for the Sky

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am I Own Britain’s Best Home 2008: The Final 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order

1:00pm BBC News 1:45pm Doctors 2:15pm Diagnosis Murder 3:00pm BBC News 3:05pm CBBC

1:00pm Out of the Blue 1:25pm Tennis: Artois Championships

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm House Guest 3:30pm The Funny Side of the Street 4:00pm Wales Tonight 4:15pm ITV Evening News and Weather 4:30pm Euro 2008: Croatia v Germany

3:00pm Cook Yourself Thin 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Animal Rescue Squad 3:05pm The Family Recipe 3:15pm Mystery Woman: Oh Baby

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5:30pm Neighbours

5:00pm Newsround 5:15pm The Weakest Link

6:00pm BBC News 6:30pm BBC Wales Today 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day Live

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm A Taste of My Life 7:00pm The Summer Exhibition: A Culture Show Special 8:00pm Springwatch with Bill Oddie

7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Waterworld 8:00pm The Bill: New Blood

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Fourdocs 8:00pm Come Dine with Me

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News 7:30pm Rough Guide to Activity Holidays 8:00pm Property List

9:00pm Heroes 9:45pm The Graham Norton Show

9:00pm Brothers and Sisters in Love

9:00pm Big Brother

9:00pm House

10:00pm BBC News 10:35pm Dragon’s Eye

10:30pm Newsnight

10:00pm News at Ten and Weather 10:40pm Frontline Fire and Rescue

10:00pm My Name Is Earl 10:30pm Big Bang Theory

10:00pm Grey’s Anatomy

11:05pm Question Time 12:05am This Week 12:50am Holiday Weather 12:55am Sign Zone: Virgin Memories 1:55am Sign Zone: Countryfile 2:55am Sign Zone: Hard Sell 3:25am Joins BBC News

11:20pm Heroes Unmasked 11:40pm Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12:10am Malcolm in the Middle 12:50am Joins BBC News 3:10am Meerkat Manor 4:00am Class Clips

11:10pm Sharp End 11:40pm Police, Camera, Action!

12:05am Bingo Night Live!

1:10am Motorsport UK 1:35am Nightwatch with Steve Scott 2:30am Loose Women 3:20am The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:00pm Derren Brown: Trick or Treat 11:30pm Peep Show 12:05am 4 Music: Paul Weller12:40am 4 Music: 4Play: Alphabeat 12:55am 4 Music: 4Play: The Music 1:10am King of the Hill 2:05am Big Brother Live

11:00pm Pleasure for Sale 12:00am Quiz Call 1:00am ITU Triathlon 1:50am NBA Basketball 5:10am House Doctor 5:35am Neighbours

PICK OF THE DAY House, five, 9.00pm The absolute horror that is Big Brother is back so it’s a good time to go looking for alternatives for every night of the week. House is finishing soon but for at least this Thursday it provides good scripted telly devoid of drunk fame-hungry wannabees happy to do whatever it takes to get themselves a couple of topless shoots in Zoo. It helps that House is all kinds of awesome; it’s not hard when your lead is Hugh Laurie. This is one witty procedural with better rounded characters than Endemol can wrangle into the house to bitch and moan live for weeks and weeks relieving Channel 4 of the task of actually creating decent shows for us to watch. Time was five was a bit of a joke but it knows when to give in and buy from the US. There is no excuse for Big Brother’s continued existence beyond being fertile ground for controversy. Give me House any day.

47

48 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

TELLY

TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

FRIDAY

13th June The Olsens’ Birthday

Trash to Cash

Gold Fever!

Past Its Sell-By Date

Proud Parents

BBC1 11.30am

BBC2 7.00pm

ITV1 8.00pm

C4 12.30pm

BBC 1

BBC 2

ITV 1

Channel 4 6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Everybody Loves Raymond 7:30am Big Brother’s Little Brother 8:00am Big Brother 9:00am Frasier 9:30am War of the World 10:25am War of the World 11:30am Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm Proud Parents 12:45pm The Battle at Apache Pass 2:20pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am I Own Britain’s Best Home 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:00pm Five News 5:30pm Neighbours

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 10:00am Homes under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Trash to Cash 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 11:15am Tales from Europe 11:30am Watch 11:45am Something Special 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am The Richard Arnold Show 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:15am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

1:00pm BBC News 1:30pm BBC Wales Today 1:45pm Doctors 2:15pm Diagnosis Murder 3:00pm BBC News 3:05pm CBBC:

1:00pm Out of the Blue 1:25pm Tennis: Artois Championships

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 3:00pm House Guest 3:30pm The Funny Side of the Street 4:00pm Wales Tonight 4:15pm ITV Evening News and Weather 4:30pm Euro 2008: Italy v Romania

5:15pm The Weakest Link

6:00pm BBC News 6:30pm BBC Wales Today 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day Live

I Own Britain’s Best Home five 11.30am Five

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Rough Guide to Islands 3:05pm Five News Update 3:10pm Serving in Silence

6:00pm Great British Menu 7:00pm Gold Fever!

7:30pm The Trees That Made Britain 8:00pm Gardeners’ World Live 2008

7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Past Its Sell-By Date: Tonight 8:30pm Coronation Street

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: An Eye for an Eye 8:00pm Deadliest Catch

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News 7:30pm Animal Rescue Squad 8:00pm Police Interceptors

9:00pm Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool

9:00pm A Touch of Frost

9:00pm Big Brother

9:00pm NCIS

10:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:35pm Big Brother

10:00pm Shark

11:10pm Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 12:15am 4 Music: Jay-Z: Live in New York 1:15am 4 Music: JD Set Presents The Metros 1:30am 4 Music: 4Play: Julian Velard 1:45am Afterworld 2:10am Goalissimo!

11:00pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 12:00am Quiz Call 4:45am Out of Practice 5:10am House Doctor 5:35am Neighbours

10:00pm BBC News 10:25pm BBC Wales Today 10:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross

10:00pm QI 10:30pm Newsnight

11:35pm National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11:40pm The Ring 1:25am Weatherview 1:30am Sign Zone: Florence Nightingale 2:30am The Supersizers Go... Wartime 3:30am Joins BBC News

11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm The Culture Show Uncut 12:20am Star Trek: The Next Generation 1:05am Star Trek: The Next Generation 1:50am Kyle XY 2:35am Devils of Darkness 4:00am Malcolm in the Middle

11:00pm The Late News and Weather 11:45pm Raines 12:35am Bingo Night Live!

1:35am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 2:30am The Prophecy II 3:50am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

PICK OF THE DAY The Weakest Link, BBC1, 5.15pm Do you remember this quiz show dear readers? Back in the day The Weakest Link was remarkably popular. I would watch it with my nan and be outraged at the audacity of the ginger-haired demon that is Anne Robinson. It wasn’t just me and my nan who were glued to our screens, the whole nation was gripped. How dare she be so rude?! we all exclaimed, choking on our rich tea biscuits and spilling tea on mother’s newly cleaned sofas. This however has changed somewhat, interest in the show has waned. No one is outraged by Anne Robinson anymore. She is less ginger-haired demon more ginger cat. It seems we have moved on to bigger and better things in the form of Deal or No Deal and Golden Balls. Both amazing shows but maybe we should go back to The Weakest Link for old times sake, go back to our nan’s sofas and indulge in some nostalgia.

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

TELLY

TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

SATURDAY Trooping the Colour

Class of 2008

BBC1 10.20am

BBC2 12.45pm

BBC 1 6:00am Breakfast 9:00am Saturday Kitchen 10:20am Trooping the Colour 12:10pm BBC News 12:20pm Football Focus

BBC 2

Animals Do the Funniest Things ITV1 3.15pm ITV 1

6:00am CBeebies 12:00pm Kyle XY 12:45pm Class of 2008

6:00am CITV 10:20am To Be Announced 10.35am Coronation Street Omnibus

1:00pm Tennis: Artois Championships

1:10pm Class of 2008 1:40pm Sound 2:10pm Meta4orce 2:20pm Rugby Union: Junior World Championship 4:40pm Tennis: Queens - Semi Finals

1:05pm ITV News and Weather 1:08pm ITV Weather 1:10pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:15pm The Karate Kid III 3:15pm Animals Do the Funniest Things 4:15pm ITV Wales News and Weather 4:30pm Euro 2008: Sweden v Spain

5:00pm BBC News

5:30pm Trooping the Colour

6:00pm To Be Announced 7:00pm Doctor Who 7:45pm To Be Announced 8:15pm The National Lottery: 1 vs 100

7:00pm Wild China 8:00pm The Supersizers Go... Seventies

9:05pm Casualty 9:55pm To Be Announced 10:25pm BBC News 10:45pm UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day

9:00pm Andrew Marr’s History of Modern Britain 10:00pm The Apprentice

11:35pm Film To Be Announced 1:15am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 2:15am Weatherview 2:20am Joins BBC News

11:00pm The Apprentice: You’re Fired 11:40pm The Apprentice: You’re Fired 12:15am Film To Be Announced 1:50am City of Men 2:25am City of Men 2:55am Film To Be Announced

7:00pm ITV News and Weather 7:13pm ITV Weather 7:15pm Euro 2008: Greece v Russia

10:00pm ITV News and Weather 10:08pm ITV Weather 10:10pm Regional Weather 10:15pm Hannibal

12:45am Bingo Night Live!

1:45am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 2:45am Children of Heaven 2:47am ITV News Headlines 3:15am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

PICK OF THE DAY Class of 2008, BBC2, 1:10pm I am genuinely obsessed with this show because I am unashamedly addicted to all things ‘scene’. This show feeds my addiction much in the same way crack does, but that’s another story for another time.

This show follows the lives of six of London’s ‘bright young things’ who intend to achieve fame and glory by the end of this year. The ‘bright young things’ are models Daisy and Portia, frontman Will of The Blondelles, DJ Louis, actor Daryl and fashion designer Kesh. What makes this show amazing is the fact that it doesn’t perpetuate the stereotype that all young Londoners are lazy middleclass fuckwits who sit around doing shit all waiting for mummy to rescue them. These people work really hard and have real aims aside from Daryl who is a beautiful simpleton. Its all so amazing, I’m gushing!

49

14th June World Blood Donor Day

Mystic Pizza

Out of Practice

C4 12.10am

five 4.45am

Channel 4

Five

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Goalissimo!

8:00am The Morning Line 9:00am T4:Friends 9:55am T4:The Nokia Green Room 10:25am T4:Big Brother 11:30am T4:Big Brother 11:55am T4:Shipwrecked 2008: Battle of the Islands 12:55pm T4:Shipwrecked 2008: The Third Island 1:30pm T4:Shipwrecked 2008: The Hutcam Diaries 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

6:00am Sunrise 7:00am Kids TV 9:35am To Be Announced 9:45am Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10:00am Ice Road Truckers 12:10pm To Be Announced

5:00pm Jamie at Home 5:35pm Come Dine with Me 6:35pm Channel 4 News

5:35pm Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534

7:00pm River Cottage Spring 8:00pm Last Party at the Palace

7:10pm Police Interceptors 8:00pm Five News and Sport 8:15pm NCIS

9:00pm Big Brother

9:10pm CSI: NY

10:00pm Mr & Mrs Smith

10:10pm Law and Order

12:10am Mystic Pizza 2:05am Big Brother Live 4:25am St Elsewhere 5:15am Countdown

11:10pm True CSI 12:10am Quiz Call 4:45am Out of Practice 5:10am Wildlife SOS 5:35am Wildlife SOS

1:00pm Columbo 1:40pm On the Town 3:35pm The Adventures of Huck Finn

50 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

TELLY

TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM

SUNDAY Sunday Life BBC1 10:00am

Ray Mears Goes Walkabout BBC2 8.00pm

BBC 1

Headcases ITV1 10.00pm

15th June Danish Flag Day

The Shooting Party C4 8.20am

BBC 2

ITV 1

6:00am Breakfast 9:00am The Andrew Marr Show 10:00am Sunday Life 11:00am Countryfile 12:00pm The Politics Show

6:00am CBBC 10:00am Something for the Weekend 11:30am Great British Menu 12:30pm Triathlon

6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:25am CITV 10:35am Coronation Street Omnibus 12:50pm ITV News and Weather 12:53pm ITV Weather 12:55pm Regional News & Weather

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am Trans World Sport 7:25am Freesports on 4 8:20am The Shooting Party 8:45am Shipwrecked 2008 9:20am T4:Hollyoaks Omnibus 11:50am T4:Shipwrecked 2008

6:00am Kids TV 10:00am The Gadget Show 11:00am Megastructures 12:00pm Ice Road Truckers

1:00pm ‘Allo ‘Allo 1.20pm EastEnders 3.15pm Miss Caldicot’s Cabbage War 5.05pm Lifeline 4:45pm BBC News

1:50pm Tennis: Queens 4:40pm To Be Announced

1:00pm Jeremiah Johnson 1:05pm ITV Wales News and Weather 1:10pm Jeremiah Johnson 2:55pm Rio Bravo

1:00pm T4:Friends 1:30pm Shipwrecked 2008 2:05pm T4:The Nokia Green Room 2:40pm T4:Big Brother’s Little Brother 3:40pm T4:The Simpsons 4:15pm T4:The Simpsons 4:45pm Time Team

1:00pm Columbo 2.50pm Little Giants 4:45pm The Legend of Bagger Vance

5:00pm Regional News and Weather 5:40pm Points of View 5:55pm Songs of Praise 6:05pm Keeping Up Appearances 6.35pm My Family 7:05pm BBC News 7.30pm Seaside Rescue 8:00pm Eastenders 8.30pm The Inspector Lynlley Mysteries

5:10pm Rugby Union: Junior World Championship Highlights

5:30pm The Unforgettable ...

5:45pm Scrapheap Challenge

6:10pm The Natural World 7:10pm Meerkat Manor 7:35pm Meerkat Manor 8:00pm Ray Mears Goes Walkabout

6:00pm Down To Earth 6:30pm ITV Wales News and Weather 6:45pm ITV News and Weather 6:58pm ITV Weather 7:00pm Coronation Street 7:30pm Euro 2008: Switzerland v Portugal, or Turkey v Czech Republic

9:00pm Wild China

Channel 4

Megastructures five 11.00am

6:45pm Channel 4 News 7:00pm Tony Robinson’s Crime and Punishment 8:00pm How TV Changed Britain

Five

7:00pm Five News and Sport 7:15pm Cricket on five 8:00pm Maid in Manhattan

9:00pm Big Brother 10:00pm The Juror

10:00pm BBC News 10:20pm Commercial Breakdown 11.00pm UEFA Euro 2008 Match of the Day

10:00pm Louis Theroux: Behind Bars

10:00pm Headcases 10:30pm ITV News and Weather 10:45pm Tamsin Little: The South Bank Show

10:00pm Sunday Night Project

11:45pm Film To Be Announced 1:40am Weatherview 1:45am Sign Zone:Wild China 2:10am Springwatch Weatherview 2:45am Joins BBC News

11:00pm The Graham Norton Show 11:45pm Heroes

11:45pm Tarrant on TV 12:15am The Way We Worshipped 1:25am Dial A Mum 1:58am ITV News Headlines 2:00am Car Hunt 2:30am Fat Chance

11:10pm Frequency

PICK OF THE DAY Louis Theroux: Behind Bars, BBC2, 10.00pm Okay, this was originally shown six months ago, but I missed it as I was swamped with essays then, and therefore I assume everyone else missed it too. Louis Theroux, the bookish/foppish documentary presenter, goes into San Quentin prison to discover what life is like in America’s most notorious penitentiary. The programme examines the society inside the prison and the issues prisoners face.

We’re all aware of the concept of dropping the soap i’m sure, but Louis looks at the actual relationships ‘straight’ men form with one another. Another facet of the fascinating San Quentin is the gangs which form along racial lines, there’s something fairly primitive about this. It’s a violent place filled with violent people. I wouldn’t want to go to prison. I suppose we’ve all wondered this at some point: if you were inprisoned for life would you form a sexual relationship with someone of your own gender if you were straight? Food for thought I’m sure.

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008 FMF@gairrhydd.COM

THE BEST OF

51

FIVE MINUTE FUN

found on facebook 2007/08

Across

Down

6. People watching their calories (7) 7. Concepts (5) 9. Clown (4) 10. Vaporizes (10) 11. Space rock (8) 13. Pulled (6) 15. Skid (4) 17. A large and imposing house (5) 18. Pant (4) 19. Buxom (6) 20. Dubious (8) 23. Video captioning (10) 26. Assist (4) 27. A chip or fragment (5) 28. Five on each hand (7)

1. The outcome of a sequence of events (10) 2. Prefix indicating “Different” (6) 3. Occupational Safety and Health Administration (4) 4. A unit of computer memory (8) 5. Stiff hair or bristle (4) 6. Slag (5) 8. Long pins for holding meat (7) 12. Ate (5) 14. Bargains (10) 16. Sports associations (7) 17. Powerfully (8) 21. Requiring immediate attention (6) 22. Utilisers (5) 24. Nipple (4) 25. Chancy (4)

Down

competition crossword

Sudok leaves u fo page 2 r

Exercise your mind...

WINonal ers ng p A aini tr sion ses

Then exercise your body at

Put your entries in the competitio

n box outside gair rhydd

Every week gair rhydd will be giving away a gym package to one lucky entrant who correctly completes the competition crossword, courtesy of Dave’s Gym.

Every winner will receive a free personal training session with one of our qualified instructors. This can be a gym workout, weight-training, boxing or Thai Boxing session. You will also receive a personalised gym programme and a free guest pass so you can come back for another workout or try one of our studio classes: choose from HipHop, Khai Bo, Bodypump and many more. This prize is worth approximately £35!

Conditions: Use of any of our facilities is subject to our terms and conditions and at the user’s own risk. An appointment must be made for the session. Prize must be claimed within four weeks of notification. It is not exchangeable for cash and is not transferable to any other party. Dave’s Gym: Tel: 029 2046 0232 E.mail: enquiries@daves-gym. co.uk Web: www.daves-gym.co.uk

NAME....

EMAIL....

How to enter: Simply complete the crossword opposite and drop it into the crossword competition box outside the gair rhydd office on the 4th floor of the Students’ Union. The first correct entrant to be plucked from the box every week will win the Dave’s Gym package.

52 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

PROBLEM PAGE

From the Desk of

TEd

PROBLEMPAGE@gairrhydd.COM

e m so

d n Ha

He was a ruddy good lad.

Ted Handsome Reviews Women’s Magazines An Occasional Series

Having spent much of the last couple of weeks in vaious Dentist’s surgeries and local GP practices, I have become well-versed in women’s magazines. I have come to love these bastions of self-involvement, of man-hating and of pointless superficiality. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I’ve learnt more about the female psyche from these few literary dalliances than from a thousand dead Thai prostitutes.

No. 1 - Vogue

Supposedly the Fortnum & Mason’s of Women’s literature, although I am yet to read a magazine with quite as many adverts. I’m pretty sure that there were some features buried among all the black and white photographs of hideously attractive men kissing each other. There was even a music section as far as I am aware, although if anyone actually reads Vogue for their opinions on music, then I fear that their priorities are fairly out of wack. 8/10

No. 2 - Hello!

There is something vaguely patronising about this title, as if the reader is so dense that they need to be gently coaxed into reading, rather than out of their own free will. Also, seemingly the only publication that still gives a jazz fuck about the royalty.

I mean, who really gives an eff who is marrying whom from high society? It’s exactly this kind of forelock tugging and cap doffing attitude that still causes such strife among society.

Plus they papped me with those Eastern European whores, which cost me a pretty penny. 6/10

No. 3 - Take A Break

Finally, the big guns. Literally the single biggest shit I have ever taken on my rather excellent education as to date. Lacking any intellectual merit in anyway whatsoever, this utter bumwash offends me so deeply, that i think i atually love it a bit. To be this idiotic and still able to sell copies astounds me. I’m shocked that its audience are able to leave the house with a carer, going by the average edition’s topics. Usually built around ‘Real Life Stories,’ starring some criminally ugly individuals doing something so sordid that had it not been documented by Take A Break, it would be documented by a police record.

These gurning trogolodytes are usually paid a paltry lump sum in order to sell their dirty little secrets to the world at large, only for some thick-as-pigshit stay at home wife to frig herself silly over inbetween Jeremy Kyle and ITV Bingo. Utter Genius 9/10

A letter about builders Dear Ted, I bloody hate builders. We have a few of the arseholes farting and grunting their way around our abode. As far as I am concerned all these Neanderthals dragging their knuckles around our flat bellowing and wolf-whistling are doing is lowering the average IQ by at least 50 points. Not only this, but I’m pretty sure that our sugar intake has rapidly increased as well. There are only so many times that you can pour more than 4 tsps of sugar into a cup of tea, before seriously considering topping it off with Strychnine. I really wish they’d fuck off, yet I don’t know how to broach the subject with them. I realise that they are just

working for the council, but I really do not need two oafs messing up my room for no real need.

Yours Cordially, Jerry Buttock Jez, Builders are a necessary evil, like policemen and period pains. Although they will stink out your abode with their body odour and roll-up cigarette smoke, and will blare out talkSPORT and audibly agree with the morally dubious semi-racist comments read out on air, they will also accept a cheeky bundle of twenties in order to wall up some asian prostitutes that need to be ‘silenced’. My old man used to be a builder, often walking up to

twelve miles of a morning to carry hods up and down muddy mires in order to construct this wonderful nation that we call home. I, of course, have never worked a day of manual labour in my entire life, and so am probably not best placed to comment on the the psychology of construction workers.

Therefore, I would suggest that I am perhaps not the best person to ask this question. Why not try growing a pair and deal with life like a man?

Yours Ted Handsome

A letter about me?

Dear Ted, Actually, I don’t think that you’ve offered me anything of merit whatsoever. I sent you a genuine letter in which I asked for some actual tangible advice, and you use the letter as some kind of vehicle for amusing correspendence and/or an excuse for a rant on the subject of an unrelated topic. Now, don’t get me wrong, I find your various ruminations on the subject of your fancy mildly distracting for a couple of minutes or so, but is this really what you wanted your life to be like? Sniffily looking down your nose at people simply for the sake of making your presumably small group of friends snigger and

chuckle at? Well, I do hope that you are proud of yourself, because I am pretty sure that the remainder of gair rhydd’s readership believes you to be nothing more than a sad little man, concocting ridiculous scenarios to bring a semblance of meaning to your pathetic life. How about them onions then?

Yours Jerry Buttock

called worthless; by you, by Daddy, and by the local constabulary. Well no longer will I be the butt of cruel jokes and jibes. Goodbye cruel world and fuck you.

Yours, Ted Handsome

Jerry, Well isn’t that a big old kick in the gonads for my self-esteem? I try and help you worthless pieces of work, week in and week out, and for what? To be insulted? Well no more! I’m sick and tired of being

Ted Handsome was, let’s face it, a bit of a tit. A pompous, overblown nonce, with little or no understanding of the modern world. He was perhaps best known for his ‘often amusing’ problem page in Cardiff student rag gair rhydd. He was 36.

Born into considerable wealth, Handsome spent much of his youth being waited on by his faithful manservant Pedro, until a unfortunate threshing incident ended this blossoming friendship. This early tragedy affected the young Theodore Handsome deeply, driving him into the seedy underworld of drugs. Handsome lead somewhat of a double life; by day keeping up the appearance of a respectable young conservative, and by night shooting Columbians and beating Hispanic prostitutes. This high-flying lifestyle, while keeping him in the lifetsyle that he was accustomed to, inevitably lead to police involvement, and were it not for the intervention on the behalf of minor royalty, Handsome could have been staring at the wrong end of a 20 year stretch. Nevertheless, Handsome eventually got clean, and after several years spent hawking timeshares in Malaga, He finally found his true calling; insulting students via the medium of student newspapers.

Handsome is survived by two children, Tupac Cheetara Handsome, and Theodore Clarkson Handsome III. He will be begrudgingly missed.

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

53

LISTINGS

LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

This week: Josie & Dan abandon the last issue of their Listings careers

...

R E M M U S R E V O N O G IN TOP STUFF WHAT'S GO JAY-Z & MARK RONSON

THE SQUARE FESTIVAL SATURDAY 26 JULY/SUNDAY 27 JULY PENDULUM + MC VERSE + ALABAMA 3 + THE CRIMEA + THE HOT PUPPIES + RADIO LUXEMBOURG + MANY MANY MORE! @ THE SQUARE FESTIVAL, BORTH, SOUTH WALES Tickets £25 (bloody reasonable!)

Two days. Four stages. Sixty bands. Free camping. Free parking.

Alabama 3 - Legendary Brixton collective, best known for the theme tune to hit TV show The Sopranos. They combine techno beats with a country sound and are a group best sampled live.

Pendulum - Formed in 2002 by three people from Australia, Pendulum create intelligent drum & bass; a sound that has dancefloor impact but also a deeper resonance. Their seminal single ‘Vault’ won Knowledge Magazine’s ‘Best Single of 2003’ award, they now also work with Adam F and DJ Fresh under the umbrella Breakbeat Kaos. Their DJ sets consist of fresh tunes, big beats and twisting basslines.

The Hot Puppies - Quirky, synth-based pop-punk from this Cardiff-based five piece. Expect chopping guitars, swirling keyboards and inimitable vocals from charismatic frontwoman, Rebecca Newman. Romantic, dark and flamboyant pop.

Frankly (guest editor Rasputin’s note), this festival sounds bloody amazing. Alabama 3 are one of the best bands ever, there are tons of acts to see, camping’s free and all for £25. Hell, I’m going. See you there.

MUSIC MONDAY Muscle Club + Jamie & the Lionhearts @ 10 Feet Tall.

9pm til 3am. £4 The Road To Download Tour: A Day To Remember + Devil Wears Prada + Alesana @ Barfly. A Day To Remember - Punk/hardcore band from Florida.

7.30pn.£5 TUESDAY 10 Foot Cwtch: Draw Me Stories + Simon M Read + Thoby Davis @ 10 Feet Tall.

36 Crazyfists + Exit Ten @ Barfly - 36 Crazyfists - Equal parts emo and metal, Portland-based quartet 36 Crazyfists are Brock Lindow (vocals), Steve Holt (guitar/vocals), Mick Whitney (bass), and Thomas Noonan (drums). 8.30pm. £3.

Lostprophets @ Cardiff SU - Formed in 1997, these Cardiff-based numetallers have received rave reviews from the metal press. They have a sound that takes in everything from metal, post-hardcore, breakbeat and hip-hop. Winners of Best British Band at the 2006 Kerrang! awards.

8pm.

WEDNESDAY The Commitments @ St. David’s Hall - All the Heart! All the Soul! All the Music! Dick Massey (Billy ‘The Animal’ Mooney) on drums & percussion and Kenneth McCluskey (Derek ‘The Meatman’ Scully) on guitar, from the BAFTA Winner and Grammy and Oscar Nominated 1991 hit movie The Commitments. 7.30pm. £19/£17.

Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man @ Barfly - Fresh from the ashes of Les Incompetents comes the eight-legged multi-faceted phoenix of dance-crazed, ska-laden punk pop. 7.30pm.

THURSDAY Dave Pegg + PJ Wright @ Norwegian Church Arts Centre - PJ Wright - His musical roots are in R&B and American country-rock although his career has spanned everything from 1960s underground cult band Family to backing big-name acts such as Del Shannon and The Coasters. Also previously from the Steve Gibbons Band and Little Johnny England. 8pm. £12.

FRIDAY Cardiff University Summer Ball: Scouting For Girls + Pendulum (DJ Set) + Lostprophets (DJ set) + Zane Lowe + Zenyth. Zane Lowe - Before Zane began presenting his new music show at Radio 1, he presented the well-respected All City Show in its early days at XFM as well as winning numerous awards for his output on the station’s Music Response show. Now, with daily output on MTV and Radio 1, Zane, one of the key figureheads of UK radio, tours the country playing to packed venues on a regular basis. He brings an electrifying presence to any club.

MEDIEVAL JOUSTING FRIDAY 20 JUNE/SATURDAY 21 JUNE JOUSTING @ CARDIFF CASTLE Tickets: Adults £14, Children £10 (Early Bird discount: Adults £12.50, Kids £8.50. Tickets must be booked by Thursday 19 June) The Knights of Royal England thunder into the city to do battle against the local opposition in a medieval joust – a stunning display of horsemanship, skill and sheer nerve!

Witness a breath-taking show as the knights progress from lancing hoops, hitting the quintain and picking up objects at lightning speed to the main tournament and the final showdown. Be prepared to cheer for your favourite knight as the opponents berate, threaten and intimidate one another and be extra prepared for some bruising encounters as they crash to the ground in some spectacular falls and horseback stunts.

There will be only one winner; one knight triumphant in victory, in this authentic and thrilling medieval adventure.

Around the main arena, and in between the main jousts, will be a swordfighting school (limited places) and combat displays given by professional sword fighters. Also, opportunities for children to rehearse their jousting skills by collecting hoops on hobby horses and for budding jesters, a juggling workshop. The Cardiff Castle Garrison will set up their camp too. The 20th exclusive opportunity to be among a limited number of people to witness the first ever medieval Joust to be staged at Cardiff Castle.

COMEDY FRIDAY Comedy & Club Night @ JONGLEURS - Comedy night with top names from the national circuit: Sean Percival, Simon Bligh, Sandy Nelson and Andrew Murrell. Ticket includes free entry to Club Risa dancing till 2am. 8pm - 2am. £8.

SATURDAY Comedy & Club Night @ JONGLEURS - Comedy night with top names from the national circuit: Sean Percival, Simon Bligh, Sandy Nelson and Andrew Murrell.Ticket includes free entry to Club Risa - dancing till 2am. 8pm - 2am. £8 SUNDAY Soap Box Open Mic Comedy Night @ GLO BAR. 8pm.

ARTS TUESDAY 10th - SATURDAY 14th: Roots And Wings @ New Theatre - It hasn’t been Ruby’s day - she has much to deal with. Nigel, her beloved son, is in hospital having been hurt in a car crash in which his lover, Kevin, has incurred terrible injuries. Griff, Nigel’s father, has discovered his son is not only gay but also a drag queen! 7.30pm. Matinees 2.30pm Thu & Sat. £19/£7.

WEDNESDAY A Lifetime On Tiptoes @ Chapter Arts Centre - A staged reading and book launch of this powerful play. 7pm THURSDAY 12th - SATURDAY 14th: I Can Heal Your Life: Carri Munn @ Chapter Arts Centre. 8pm. £10/£6.

Yellow Moon - The Ballad Of Leila & Lee: TAG Theatre Company @ Sherman. One of Scotland’s leading theatre companies for young people.

8pm. £10/£8.

SATURDAY The Meat Loaf Rock Opera: The Dead Ringer From Hell @ St. David’s Hall. The Dead Ringer From Hell is the brand new and hellishly funny Meat Loaf-inspired Rock Opera presented by HTM Productions that is bringing audiences all across the country to their feet. It tells the story of a young man who sells his soul to the Devil to become the biggest rock star in the world. Contact venue for show details.

WEDNESDAY 16 JULY JAY-Z + MARK RONSON @ CIA Tickets £32.50 Jay-Z - Laid-back hip-hop grooves from the East Coast rapper, aka Shawn Corey Carter, who made the anthemic Hard Knock Life [and a few songs since then, Dan]. One of the most prolific and successful American rappers of the late 1990s and early 2000s, Jay-Z has managed to maintain both commercial appeal and street credibility.

Mark Ronson - The superstar DJ and producer that everyone wants a piece of! Ronson became a regular at downtown hip-hop spots and made his name as a DJ on the New York club scene in 1993. He was soon one of the most respected DJs and was being called on for celebrities’ private parties. Ronson is known for his diverse, genrespanning selection, influenced by both the hip-hop scene of New York and the more rock influence of the UK, amongst others.

c

Students’ Union, Park Place, 02920 387421 ◆ Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 ◆ Clwb Ifor Bach (The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 ◆ Barfly, Kingsway, Tickets: 08709070999 ◆ Metro’s, Bakers Row 02920 399939 ◆ Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 ◆ Incognito, Park Place 02920 412190 ◆ Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 ◆ The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 ◆ Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 ◆ St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 ◆ Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 ◆ Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 ◆ The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 ◆ The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 ◆ The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 ◆ Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 ◆ The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it ◆ The Point, Cardiff Bay, 029 2046 0873

54 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

LISTINGS

FESTIVAL LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

Josie Allchin reviews which British music festivals are not to be missed Top Ten UK Festivals Bestival @ Robin Hill Country Park, Isle of White September 5 - 7 2008 / www.bestival.net Truck @ Hill Farm, Steventon, Oxfordshire July 19 - 20 2008 / www.thisistruck.com Escape into The Park @ Singleton Park, Swansea June 14 2008 / www. escapefestival.com Glastonbury @ Worthy Farm, Pilton, Somerset June 27 - 29 2008 / www. glastonburyfestivals.co.uk The Green Man Festival @ Glanusk Park Nr. Brecon August 15 - 17 / www.thegreenmanfestival.co.uk Reading + Leeds @ Richfield Avenue, Reading and Bramham Park, Leeds August 22 - 24 / www.readingfestival.com / www.leedsfestival.com Creamfields @ Daresbury Estate, Halton, Cheshire August 23 - 24 / www. creamfields.com 2000trees Festival @ Upcote Farm, Cheltenham, Gloucester July 11 - 12 / www.twothousandtreesfestival.co.uk The Big Chill @ Eastnor Castle, Herefordshire August 1 - 3/ www. bigchill.net T in the Park @ Balado, Kinross-shire July 11 - 13 / www.tinthepark.com

2000 TREES July 11/12

TRUCK July 19/20 Now in its 11th year, Truck festival is truly coming into its own - small, quirky and intimate, you’ll be hard pushed to find another event like it.

Named after the fact that its main stage used to be the back of a truck, tell me where else you’ll be able to buy an ice cream from the local vicar, eat a greasy cooked breakfast made by the rotary club, and sink a pint pulled by the resident cross-dressing bar staff. Acts last year included Idlewild, Blood Red Shoes and Foals, with Lemonheads being announced as this year’s headliners.

The downside to this event is that tickets are somewhat of a rarity, with preference given to local residents near and around Oxfordshire - if you’re not near one of the local ticket vendors at the time they go on sale, then good luck finding one. The better news, though, is that according to its organisers, Truck won’t be getting any bigger – so this really will be the biggest 5000 person capacity festival you’ll get to go to. Tickets for the weekend are £60.

THE BIG CHILL August 1/2/3 So much more than just music, this festival boasts comedy, theatre, spoken work, art, film and more across the weekend.

It would be fair to say that The Big Chill doesn’t really define itself as being anything in particular, but instead lets the festival-goers do that for it – only recently locating to its current grounds (it’s had more locations than can be mentioned here), this event is all about substance rather than relying on a ready-made institution.

New to the 2008 line-up is the “The Big Warm” – which includes story telling and songs around campfires, the “Moonlit Picture House” which is a late night, outdoor showcase for cinema, including short and feature films, and the “Media Mix” tent – which brings an audio-visual, genre-defying film and music experience weird enough to freak out the highest of hippies. And if last year is anything to go by, then watch out for brightly spray-painted sheep and “glowing balls” on the lake… Tickets £110 - £129 for the weekend.

So, don’t be dwarfed by the faceless line-ups of all things big this year - small is where it’s at if you’re looking for something of an individual, interesting boutique festival experience.

Marketing itself as “The Green and Ethical Music Festival” of 2008, this is one of the summer festivals with a more interesting idea behind it.

The name “2000 Trees” reflects the organisers desire to promote the environmental and social issues that the more mainstream festivals plough straight over in their whirlwind of commercial and profit-making mind set.

Last year, recycling stations and compost waste facilities on site helped to recycle 66% of the waste accumulated the festival grounds, and where possible, only locally-sourced organic food and drink will be sold – except at their Fair Trade coffee stall. The food itself will, as far as possible, be fairly priced – and so will the festival, which is as cheap as chips (their chips, anyway) at just £39 for the weekend. But don’t forget the music – acts this year include Art Brut, The Duke Spirit and Frank Turner, and was short listed last year for the UK’s “Best New Festival”.

FIELD DAY August 9 In its second year now, Field Day has the potential to be something really great if it learns from the mistakes it made last year – 20 toilets and 10 urinals for 5000 people? Sounds like everyone’s worst festival nightmare, but its heart was in the right place.

Aiming to bring together many of London’s alternative concert and club promoters to produce a day of music, dancing and maximum hoopla, it tries to create the atmosphere of a village fete as well as being a ruddy big gig – so entertainment includes a coconut shy, tombola, welly throwing, barn dancing, tug of war, Morris dancing and a burlesque tent. Oh, what fun!

WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN GAIR RHYDD HAS 5 PAIRS OF TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY TO OGFEST 2008!

From 25 to 27 July ten acres of Ogmore-on-sea will be taken over by 30 local bands at Ogfest.

Headlining the event will be Stuart Cable’s new band Killing for Company along with highly acclaimed local bands such as The Last Republic and The Blims. Former Stereophonics drummer Cable said ‘This event will be a postive statement for the area and it will be great to see so much local talent coming together for such a good cause’. This is a charity event where all the proceeds from the event will be donated to the children’s hospice Ty Hafan.

To be in with a chance of winning email your answer to this question to competitions@gairrhydd.com. Which band did Stuart Cable used to play in? a) Feeder b) Stereophonics c) Fall Out Boy

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

55

LISTINGS

L FEVER LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

Ruth Smith investigates what sweet music Europe’s festivals have to offer ROSKILDE FESTIVAL July 3 - 6

FESTIVAL INTERNATIONAL DE BENICASSIM July 17 - 20

A colossal festival – last year around 110,000 people were involved – 80,000 guests, more than 21,000 volunteers, 5,000 media people and 3,000 artists.

Tickets are priced at 1,650 DDK (£176). The festival is, unfortunately, partly remembered for its tragedy in 2000 when nine people died, getting crushed at the 60,000 capacity Orange stage during Pearl Jam’s performance. If you’re looking for an intimate festival this is not the one – beware of getting caught up in the crowds (and druggies) and not seeing (or remembering) any music at all. The line-up includes Radiohead, The Chemical Brothers, Kings of Leon and Jay-Z.

The location, right on the beach makes this festival both a beach holiday and a session of music indulgence. The line up is hugely varied, with acts including Morrisey, Hot Chip, Death Cab for Cutie, The New Pornographers, Gnarls Barkley and My Bloody Valentine. The temperature is already around 30 degrees by 9am, so the music takes place at night, from 6pm-8am, so tents can get very hot for sleeping in during the day. 170 EURO (£135) for a four day ticket also provides nine days worth of camping.

EXIT July 10 - 13

OXYGEN July 11 - 13

SZIGET August 12 - 18

To some this is the Glasonbury equivalent of Ireland, with acts including Kaiser Chiefs, Kings of Leon, The Verve, Pendulum and the Enemy. Unfortunately though it has already sold out, in three days of its release.

If you still want to check out Ireland, then go for Electric Picnic in Stradbally south of Dublin. This year tune in for the Sex Pistols, Sinead O’Connor, Sigur Ros, My Bloody Valentine, Underworld, The Gossip and Franz Ferdinand.

An awesome festival for its length – although cut down from nine days to seven, it plays host to more than 1000 performances each year. It’s held on an island in the middle of the river Danube. A ticket is reasonably priced at 150 EURO (£120) and the line-up includes Iron Maiden, R.E.M, the Kaiser Chiefs and Jamiroquai.

The festival takes place in a fortress on a hill in the city and is renowned for featuring dance music legends. Some of the live bands playing this year include Manu Chao, the Sex Pistols, Deep Dish, Laurent Garnier and Gossip. Ticket prices are £72 plus optional camping fees.

This is perhaps one of the cheapest music festivals of the summer, with tickets priced at only 289 PLN (£68). The bands playing include The Raconteurs, Interpol, Goldfrapp, The Chemical Brothers, Jay-Z and Massive Attack.

One of the biggest (130,000 attended last year) and best Dutch rock and electronic festivals, with tickets at 195 EUR (£155). Acts this year include Metallica, Kaiser Chiefs, The Verve, Groove Armada, Alanis Morisette and Rage Against The Machine.

ROCH WERCHTER July 3 - 6 This festival began as a Blues event in 1975, but musically it has progressed to include the likes of R.E.M, Radiohead, The Chemical Brothers, Lenny Kravitz and Neil Young.

Tickets are 165 EUR (£131) for the duration, plus an extra cost for camping.

EUROCKEENNES July 4 - 6

Roskilde Festival, Denmark July 3 - 6 2008 www.roskilde-festival.dk Sziget Festival, Budapest August 12 - 18 2008 www.sziget.hu/ festival_english

Pukkelpop, Belgium July 14 - 16 2008 www.pukkelpop.be Roch Werchter, Belgium July 3 - 6 2008 www.rockwerchter.be Exit, Serbia July 10 - 13 2008 www.exitfest.org

HULTSFRED FESTIVAL June 12 - 14 Camping is available from the beginning of the week, the festival has a range of artists this year including Rufus Wainwright, Rage Against the Machine, Jimmy Eat World and Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. Tickets are priced at 1590 SEK (£136)

This is one of France’s largest rock festivals taking place on a peninsula in a nature reserve in Malsaucy near the Swiss border. Artists this year include Massive Attack, Moby and Babyshambles. Tickets are 95 EURO (£75).

Benicassim, Madrid, Spain July 17 - 20 2008 www.benicassimfestival. co.uk

Oxegen Festival, Ireland July 11 - 13 2008 www.oxegen.ie/2008

OPEN’ER July 4 - 6

PUKKELPOP August 14 - 16

Top Ten European Festivals

SACRED MUSIC FESTIVAL June 3 - 17

A slightly queer looking event…This festival runs alongside Fes’ own festival in the city, and is all about asserting individualism over beliefs and culture. One of its aims is said to be to relight the spiritual dimension. Music includes Gregorian chants and Arab-Andulas songs of the Maghreb.

Ritual music will be performed by various Sufi brotherhoods after 11pm.

Hultsfred, Sweden June 12 - 14 2008 www.rockparty.se Open’er, Gdynia, Poland July 4- 6 2008 www.opener.pl Eurockeenes, Belfort, France July 4 - 6 2008 www.eurockeennes.fr

56 gairrhydd JUNE.09.2008

SPORT

SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Sport at Cardiff University - A year in pictures PHOTOS: DAVE GREEN, NATALIA POPOVA, JAKE YORATH & ED SALTER

Sport at Cardiff University - A year in pictures

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

57

SPORT

SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

George Pawley looks back on another impressive year for AU Clubs

T

his time last year, gair rhydd Sport was celebrating a season of European and domestic successes.

The Men’s Hockey Club won the European Cup Winners Challenge Cup in Malta, while at home all three Men’s Cricket teams went undefeated throughout the entire season and the Women’s Hockey Firsts strode into the BUSA Premiership among many other notable achievements.

In another year of outstanding successes for the AU, the crushing Varsity Shield triumph is surely the jewel in the crown.

The 17 – 3 overall score-line highlighted the dominance and levels of performance that Cardiff’s sports teams have to offer, while the unlikely Men’s Rugby win demonstrated the determination and spirit brought to each encounter by all the teams that competed. The 19 - 9 defeat of Swansea at

SPORT AT CARDIFF: Time to celebrate

PHOTO: DAVE GREEN

the Arms Park was a display of passion and effort by the Cardiff squad, and this performance was mirrored across the board as, in particular, Women’s Rugby, Men’s Tennis and Men’s Basketball all fought to victory.

The Welsh Cup provided successes for Cardiff as usual, with Women’s Rugby toppling Glamorgan, as Women’s Football crushed Swansea 6 – 1 in a Varsity re-match and the Men’s Football side beat Aberystwyth 6 – 1 to cap an impressive BUSA season.

The UPC 9-Ball Championship was added to the universities trophy cabinet

by Cardiff’s Pool players, who swept aside Bristol as many of the Club’s talismanic figures signed off their university careers in style.

Captain Shaun Hill polished off the team victory with a fine individual performance in the Individual Championship, where he took the runners-up spot after defeat against Adam Shaw of Nottingham at the final hurdle. The Snooker Club enjoyed success in the BUSA Championships too, as a depleted squad claimed an unexpected Bronze.

Cardiff Medicals Rugby sealed the BUSA Premiership South B crown with a 22 – 0 win over bogey-team Oxford Brookes and will compete among the

very best that university rugby has to offer next year as they were promoted to Premiership South A. In addition, the Medics took their 10th NAMS Cup victory in a row to top off a glorious season.

Many clubs tasted BUSA Gold throughout the year; in Rowing, the Novice Women’s Eight took the top prize in a hard fought BUSA Head competition, while Silvers were clinched by the Women’s Senior Eight and Women’s Novice Coxless Fours at the same event.

In Gymnastics, Matt Maletriot struck Gold three times in the Three-Piece

Competition at the BUSA Championships in Newcastle, excelling in the rings and parallel bars as he continues to stride towards a possible Commonwealth Games appearance in 2010.

Meanwhile, in Trampolining, the title of BUSA Intermediate Male Champion went to Cardiff student Craiger Solomons.

One of the most notable victories of the 2007/2008 season was achieved by the Ultimate Frisbee team, ‘No Frills’, who defeated Cambridge in a nailbiting final as they were crowned University Outdoor National Champions.

Finally, and most importantly, the AU’s ‘Invest in Sport’ campaign was relaunched, as the movement continued to emphasise the importance of improving sporting facilities for students at Cardiff University. 250 Fun Runners turned out to complete a 5km course around Bute Park to raise money for Sport Relief and awareness regarding the inadequacy of the facilities available for use.

With the Rubber Crumb pitch due for completion within the next year, the clubs that will benefit from the new facility could improve further still, leaving successful sporting pursuits at Cardiff looking likely to be built upon in 2008/2009.

The IMG End of Season Review Pete Dean Sports Editor THE IMG competitions have encountered logistical problems this year but there has still been exciting football and netball leagues and eventually even some competitive IMG rugby matches.

IMG footballers returned to Cardiff with the news that the format was to be revitalized. The competition was to be extended to include 8 new teams and space was made for an extra division.

However, a combination of issues – including the increased cost to register a team and the absence of an IMG fair – caused the take-up to be reduced.

The election of Andy ButtonsStephens to the IMG chair has allowed

the competition to run much more smoothly. With the position as yet unfilled for the 2008-9 season, IMG footballers will be counting on good communication between the new AU chair and the captains when the competition restarts in September.

30 teams made up the IMG football roster for one of the most competitive seasons in recent memory. Established teams such as GymGym, AFC History and MOMED regained their Premiership status in the first phase of the campaign. The surprise packages were J-Unit, in their second season, and Mini St Elite, who confounded expectations to clinch a Premiership place from Division B. J-Unit continued their fine form into the Premiership, losing only one match

on the way to championship glory. Only Engin Locomotive could take points off the rapidly improving outfit, led by the striking prowess of James Pressley.

Noone can complain that J-Unit’s Premiership title was undeserved.

Both SOCSI and Butthead FC were unlucky to miss out on the Premiership, losing out on goal difference.

As expected, the two teams fought a close battle for the Division One title.

SOCSI were more consistent over the campaign, dropping only two points to gain Division One glory.

In Division Two, a new Earth Soc team led by the indomitable Sean Discombe gained the title. Havanna Dragons also finished the season well, gaining second place. Optometry Soccer are one of the most improved sides

of this season and will be the team to look out for next year.

The most impressive team of the 2007/8 campaign has been Economics A netball who have gone unbeaten for the entire season. They are a wellestablished IMG team and have used their experience in conjunction with a supreme team ethic. They have set the benchmark for future netball teams to aspire to.

Also impressive were Law A who beat Cardiff A narrowly into second place in the Premiership. Division One winners were Engin Locomotive who edged out English A on goal difference. English A will count themselves unlucky not to clinch the trophy as they beat Locomotive on the last game of the season. They will rue their defeat to

SOCSI B earlier in the campaign.

MEDICS B won Division Two in fine style, winning seven of their nine games. J-Unit emerged as one of the most impressive new teams, securing second position in a competitive league.

IMG Rugby was cancelled at the start of the year but the captains have worked tirelessly to ensure that some matches took place. In a fascinating end of season finale, Carbs and Engin battled their way to the final. The final was a highly competitive affair that was won by a well-organised Engin team.

IMG rugby players will hope for a more extensive competition next year.

This is reliant on the availability of qualified referees.

PHOTO: ED SALTER

PHOTO: ED SALTER

58 gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

SPORT

SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

THE WORD ON... ...FIFA President Sepp Blatter’s domestic player quota proposal The 6+5 rule defined:

-At the beginning of each match, each club must field at least 6 who are players eligible to play for the national team of the country of the club.

- However, there is: - no restriction on the number of non-eligible players under contract with the club - nor on substitutes to avoid non-sportive constraints on the coaches (potentially 3+8 at the end of a match).

6 + 5 Plan of action:

The objective is to have an incremental implementation starting at the beginning of the 2010-2011 season to give clubs time to adjust their teams over a period of several years: -4+7 for 2010-2011 -5+6 for 2011-2012 6+5 for 2012-2013

Scott D’Arcy takes a sceptical view

I

t is not often, being a fan of the “other” North London club, that I agree with what comes out of Arsene Wenger’s mouth. Yet, with reference to FIFA President Sepp Blatter’s proposal of a quota of six home-grown players to be fielded in each team in domestic leagues, the Frenchman has got it spot on.

“Elite sport is first about quality” he mused back in 2006 when the quota plan first reared its ugly head, “first football bodies have to care about protecting the level of the game – that does not mean protecting mediocrity”.

Is he perhaps suggesting that foreign players are the reason the Premier League has become, as the tabloids boast, the “best league in the world”? It is a big claim, especially form someone who fielded just one Englishman regularly this season, but nonetheless it is hard to deny his logic.

The failure of the England national

team has led to a mild xenophobia by fans and top football officials alike.

While drowning the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, Didier Drogba and Fernando Torres in praise and hoping that other foreign talents join them, it seems when England falter in qualifying campaigns, the knives are suddenly out for the foreigners that ply their trade in “our” domestic league. As if it is their fault England are a perennial disappointment.

“We must raise standards, not implement something that would create a broader pool of average players”

So far, the British media’s debate surrounding FIFA’s proposal has been Anglo-centric, focusing on the English national team and the Premiership, but it is difficult to envisage the benefits even for nations with weaker national leagues, who rely on exporting their talent to gain indispensable experience.

Teams like Greece and Croatia, would hardly be able to challenge football’s dominant elite had a large proportion of their players been forced to play in their relatively unknown national leagues.

Arguably, the key to international success lies in the ability to field players with a broad range of experience of other leagues. Top Euro 2008 contenders Germany, France, Spain and Portugal all have key players that play outside their national leagues and this can only beneift them.

In comparison, none of the current England squad, with the exception of one, play outside the Premiership, let

alone England. If English players do not play against players of other nationalities, styles and abilities how are they to be competitive in international competitions?

Wenger: “Elite sport is first about quality not protecting mediocrity” Further to this, as Wenger said, there should be no sacrifice of quality at the top level of sport. BBC research which shows that the Premiership has seen a decrease in the number of English players starting league games is perhaps more indicative of the lack of development at a grass roots level. This, though, is a responsibility of a national

governing body, not FIFA or UEFA. The 6+5 quota has a few obstacles to overcome before it can be realised.

The main problem is a legal one, as any quota would be in breach of EU legislation concerning the free movement of persons and labour. To deny a foreign player the chance of employment because of nationality is discrimination and should be treated as such whether or not it would benefit national teams.

Blatter has also faced high profile objections to his proposal from both UEFA president Michel Platini and the Premier League, who stated in a press release: “we must raise standards, not implement something that would create a broader pool of average players rather than a deeper one of the right level of talent”.

Hopefully FIFA will consider this before attempting to force through such an unnecessary and ill-conceived reform.

Jack Zorab defends FIFA’s new proposal

S

epp Blatter’s proposal to restrict the number of foreign players that can be part of a team’s starting XI within the sphere of World football to five is made with the hope of benefiting all club teams and their respective national sides. A positive idea in anyone’s books.

Essentially though what Sepp Blatter is trying to do is to level out the monstrously potholed playing field that has occurred in world, and particularly European, football between the different national leagues and within the respective individual leagues by limiting every club to the same maximum number of foreign players in their starting team.

Money has played its part in creating this uneven orbit for Planet football as the richer clubs have bred richer leagues that have in-turn been able to attract more foreign players. Blatter believes this to be the reason why Premier League sides have dominated the Champions League this season and he also believes that this shouldn’t be allowed to happen. But is this fair to

level out the sporting terrain in western leagues via such a socialist method of control? Well yes quite frankly.

Sport shouldn’t be subject to the same norms of society; the action Blatter is proposing will importantly spell massive change to the nationality make-up of top teams, increase the number of young players starting matches for their chosen clubs and get Arsenal’s chief executives sweating- none of which is a bad thing.

The change is necessary as large numbers of foreign players in a team can detract from a side’s identity. Everyone remembers when Arsenal didn’t field one English player against Real Madrid in 2006 and they repeated the trick this season too; they did this because they could, and Arsene Wenger’s job is to forge a quality football playing side, not to do his bit for English football. The regulations need to be in place above him not to allow a football team to be forged from foreign rock.

This is why FIFA are taking action. Almost as a side product of their Six+Five rule will be the breeding of stronger national sides, as more na-

tive footballers will be getting more of a chance to play football in their own country. This will possibly take ten years to really effect national teams but when it does England will be the greatest beneficiary as the situation of foreign players taking native players’ places is most notable there. Blatter and FIFA are not doing it to aid certain nations’ national team however; they are all about increasing the competitiveness of world football.

The regulations need to be in place not to allow a football team to be forged from foreign rock.

The argument that less foreign players will reduce the quality of football in a league is a matter for future sporting debate but it is probable that the top quality players like Cristiano Ronaldo

and Michael Essein will more often than not still venture further a-field if the club and the money is suitable for them it is just the more mediocre of journeymen’s that will remain at home: the Per Koldrups and Noe Pamarots if you will.

Young home-grown talent will thus have more chance to develop and football fans can watch their side safe in the knowledge that at least the majority on the pitch know how much it means to them to win and if they do not they can at least let them know in their own tongue.

FIFA’s six plus five rule is a better concept than UEFA’s homegrown policy too as there is less scope for sneaky lawyers to find loopholes in the rule. The rule would certainly be welcomed, if it is carried through to the full extent. Football throughout Europe and the world should be more competitive, and the move would re-kindle the passion for football among people that have fallen out of love with it and who knows, British football might finally win something.

6+5: Sepp knows the answer

gairrhydd

JUNE.09.2008

59

SPORT

SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Doubling Up Neil Fairbrother adds the Cuefactor title to his growing trophy cabinet Jon Hillard Snooker Reporter CLUB CHAMPION Neil Fairbrother added more silverware to his trophy cabinet by winning the Snooker Club’s inaugural Cuefactor League.

Fairbrother topped a very tight Premier Division by just a single point, beating talented fresher David Blake into second place.

The Cuefactor League was new for 2008 and started in February when the 24 entrants were drawn into four random groups of six for phase A. The players would then play everyone in their group over four-frame matches using the Cuefactor handicap system.

Points were awarded for each frame won, with a further bonus point for winning a match outright. After these group matches were finished, the players were split into three divisions for Phase B depending on where they fin-

ished in their respective groups.

Red Group winner Ben Chung set the early pace in the Premier Division, recording 3 - 1 wins over Blake and Ben Davies and 2 - 2 draws with Fairbrother, Rupert Taylor and Masters Champion Shaun Hill. These results, together with a 3 - 1 loss to Blue Group winner Dev Chadha, saw Chung finish with a decent total of 15 points. All those 2 - 2 draws would ultimately cost him in the end.

Chung scored breaks of 55 and 39 against Chadha and Davies respectively, while Chadha notched up breaks of 33 and 31, and Hill a break of 44 against Chung. Hill would add further breaks of 39 and 30 during a 3 - 1 victory over Chadha. Despite losing 3 - 1 to Fairbrother, Blake would move into the lead on 16 points after impressive 4 - 0 victories over Taylor and Chadha and 2 - 2 draws with Hill and Davies, with Blake recording breaks of 43 and 32 against Taylor and Hill respectively.

Lyons issues development roar William Butterworth Cricket Reporter

Hill would dent Fairbrother’s hopes, beating him 3 - 1 before adding a 2 2 draw with Taylor to move onto 14 points with just one game remaining.

Fairbrother moved on 15 points after 3 - 1 wins over Chadha and Taylor meaning it would all come down to their results against Davies.

Hill would lose his unbeaten record by falling to Davies 3 - 1, leaving Fairbrother needing just two frames to overtake Blake, and it would go right down to the wire as Davies took a 2 - 1 lead against Fairbrother. Then when Davies scored a break of 33 early in the final

frame it looked like Fairbrother’s hopes were fading fast but he used his trademark safety game, remarkably stopping Davies from scoring another point, to win the frame and the title. Blake still looks set to pick up the highest break prize for his 67 against Jason Baxter in the Green Group of Phase A. In the First Division, Dan Peacey and Huw Davies both finished on 20 points and will have to play a best-offive play-off for the title. Both matched the other’s results, both beating Bikram Banerjee and Richard Jones 4 - 0, Matt Cheng 3 - 1 and recording 2 - 2 draws

against Joe Merola and Andy Kusiak, and drawing 2 - 2 with each other.

Merola finished a narrow third on 18 points, again matching the results of Peacey and Davies except for a costly 2 - 2 draw with Cheng.

Dom Osborne was crowned Second Division champion as he swept aside his opponents, recording four 4 – 0 results before finally dropping two frames when drawing 2 - 2 from a 2 - 0 lead against title rival Jon Hillard. Hillard was also unbeaten but the odd dropped frame cost him in the end.

The Scorecard Cardiff won toss

LYONS: Focusing on development cricket then we will have to look at it,” commented Lyons, who senses that it would be a greater success not to win any trophies “but see more of the squad make the transition into first-class cricket”.

This developmental approach has already seen one of Lyons’ squad, Tom Allin from UWIC, secure a two-year summer contract at Warwickshire, where he will benefit from the stewardship of former England bowling coach Allan Donald. Lyons has identified Allin, a right-arm opening bowler whose father represented Glamorgan, as ‘the one to watch’ for this season. With over 40 years in the game at home and abroad Lyons’ inherent enthusiasm is clear, and despite wishing to remain focused on player development one can’t help but feel that if his enthusiasm rubs off on his players then Cardiff and Glamorgan UCCE may well enjoy another successful season.

CARDIFF Innings

BRISTOL Innings

Stevens b Sowerby ...........2

Hooey c Crump b Le Hegarat......8

Crooks b Maruza ............68

Spencer c Fury b Le Hegarat ...11

Fury c & b Brenan ..........68

Stovold b Trevarthen .......47

Tame lbw b Brenan ...........9

Maruza lbw b Raj Pal ......10

Crump run out................31

Finan lbw b Crump..........13

Trevarthen b Maruza ...........3

Johns c Crump b Raju .....40

Raj Pal not out ...............77

Sinclair c Tame b Crump .13

Deo b Huey ....................12

Brennan c Le Hergarat b Crump

Le Hegarat not out ...........0

Acheson not out .............53

Extras ...........................42

Higgins not out...............16

TOTAL (for 7, 50 Overs) .....316

Extras ...........................39

PHOTO: ED SALTER

AFTER FINISHING top in the MCC University Two-Day Championship as well as winning the MCC University Challenge at Lords last year, the future looks bright for both players and staff at Cardiff and Glamorgan University Centre for Cricketing Excellence. However, Director of Cricket Kevin Lyons is refusing to get carried away.

Funded by the MCC, the Cardiff and Glamorgan Academy, which has run for over ten years now, is one of six university-based centres of cricketing excellence in the UK. Split between Cardiff University, UWIC and Glamorgan University, the scheme allows students to undertake academic degrees whilst continuing their development as cricketers in the excellent facilities available at Glamorgan County Cricket Club, where they train every Wednesday afternoon. Further to this, the squad undertakes a rigorous fitness regime as well as one-to-one tuition throughout each week in preparation for a busy season. From April to June the squad will play no less than twenty-five matches, including games against professional opposition such as Middlesex and Northamptonshire County Cricket Clubs.

Captaining the side this year is the experienced Simon Butler, a Cardiff University student now in his fourth year of study. Butler capped a great season in 2007 by becoming the second winner of the Walter Lawrence Trophy, awarded to the batsman with the highest score against one of the other five University Centres. Making up the rest of the squad are four other Cardiff University students, one from the University of Glamorgan and sixteen students based at UWIC. Despite the loss of last year’s Championshipwinning captain Richard Kaufman, the squad still boasts five players contracted to professional counties, as well as a good number of last year’s MCC Championship-winning squad.

Despite this, when asked if last year’s successes can be mirrored in 2008, Director of Cricket Kevin Lyons is staying firmly grounded on this season’s prospects. He said: “Outside the professional game, it is the development of the boys as players and as people that remains paramount”.

While admitting that learning how to win cricket matches is a vital part of this development, he sees it as secondary to nurturing young talent who can perhaps one day compete in the first-class arena. “If we win the MCC Championship this year but none of the squad goes on to play first-class

CUEFACTOR: Finally, a decent sporting reality show

.......20

TOTAL (for 8, 50 Overs) ....270 Bowling: Walker 8-1-41-0, Le Hegarat 10-2-43-2, Trevarthen 7-0-40-1, Raj Pal 5-1-46-1, Crump 10-2-38-3, Raju 9-055-1, Stevens 1-0-3-0 CARDIFF win by 46 runs

Sport 14 gairrhydd

gairrhydd

INSIDE: Sport reviews the BUSA and IMG seasons in words FEATURES@gairrhydd .COM and pictures & evaluates FIFA’s 6 + 5 initiative

PHOTOS: ED SALTER

FEATURES

OCTOBER.22.2007

CARDIFF GET A SEMI Raj Pal sends Cardiff Seconds through to the BUSA Shield Semi-Finals with a glorious 77 not out from 30 balls Ben Walker Cricket Reporter

CARDIFF SECONDS produced a breathtaking batting display to beat Bristol Firsts by 46 runs in the BUSA shield Quarter Final. Cardiff had reached this stage after defeating Nottingham Trent in a bowl-off last week.

Cardiff won the toss and chose to bat in, thankfully, sunny conditions.

They started solidly and, despite losing stand-in captain John Stevens for two, reached 34 for 1 at the end of the first ten overs.

From there Greg Fury played positively while James Crooks played the anchor role at the other end. A particular highlight from Fury’s innings was sweeping the Bristol first change seamer for six.

This pair put on 92 in 16 overs and when Fury eventually fell for 68 off 54 balls Cardiff were in a strong position

at 116 - 2 off 24 overs. Oli Tame soon followed for nine to leave Cardiff on 140 for 3 with 18 overs left.

Cardiff needed someone to push the innings along and Matt Crump was able to do this alongside Crooks who moved up a gear. They forged a partnership of 62 to take Cardiff over the 200 mark.

After Crump was run out for 31, Al Trevarthen fell for three and Crooks’ marathon knock of 68 eventually ended which left Cardiff on 216 for 6 and it looked like they would not reach the potentially massive score that had earlier looked to be very much on the cards.

Pratheesh Raj Pal had other ideas though, and his destructive innings of 77 off only 30 balls took the game away from Bristol. Raj Pal hit seven sixes and four fours in an innings that would not have been out of place in the IPL. Cardiff scored an incredible 95 runs in the last six overs to post a colossal score 316 for 7 from their 50 overs.

Once the euphoria of Raj Pal’s knock

had subsided, Cardiff turned their focus to defending their total knowing that the match was still only half won. After

a loose first couple of overs the Cardiff opening bowlers knuckled down with Peter Le Hegarat (43 - 2) the pick of

the two. He hit a good length and line consistently and was rewarded with two wickets.

Trevarthen and Raj Pal came on to bowl and, despite the runs flowing a little too quickly for Cardiff’s liking, both managed to pick up a wicket each as Cardiff kept working their way through the Bristol batting line up. Despite this, Bristol still had a slim chance of making a decent challenge on the total and it took a great spell for Crump to effectively put the tie to bed. He bowled his ten overs straight through taking 3 - 38 to leave Bristol on 200 - 8 with ten overs to go and leave them with no chance to make the total.

Cardiff drifted through the last ten overs of the game and the bowling and fielding left something to be desired.

Bristol finished on 270 - 8 to give Cardiff a 46 run win.

Cardiff are through to the semi-finals and will now face either Lancaster or Loughborough 3s.

-GAIR RHYDD AND QUENCH MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS THE GAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF UNIVERSITY n “BEST OF” CENSORED BY AMY HARRIS n GR HUW: A REAL BASH STREET KID n EMOTION: WHO WILL BE THE FIRST GAIR RHYDD LEAVER-CRIER? n SPORT CELEBRATE END OF YEAR WITH A NEW CRICKET PHOTO n AND A PAGE TO PUT IT ON n ABBY GETS THE GIGGLES AS DEANO SUCCUMBS TO ZORAB’S CHEESE SWEATS n FLOREY AND DEAN’S ROMANTIC WALK INTERRUPTED n OPINION ‘BLUEBAR’ TIRADE: BAD LOSERS? n ZORAB WORK-OUT LEAVES DAVIES STIFF BUT WANTING MORE n AMY HARRISON IS LOVELY n THAT WAS FORCED n “HAHA, IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD” n