gair rhydd - Issue 894 pt2

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Vol V Spring 2009

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2.

creative words

Moving Day Editor: Aisling Tempany Illustrations: Roseanna Eastoe Design: Lowri Howell & Francesca Jarvis

Megan King

I left the last of us behind today.

I packed the sheets last.

Today I imagine them as they were that night When they cradled my tears; Still wrapped in the scent of you.

I sit on the bed again when it is stripped and Naked No longer mine, no longer ours.

Introduction Dante Rossetti famously buried the only manuscript of his writing with his dead wife Elizabeth Siddal, as he was distraught over her death at the time. Some time later, he exhumed the body to get the manuscript back. The moral of that story: you'll always feel differently about it later on, so never destroy your writing (and keep a copy!).

People will tell you that you should write for yourself first. That's true, but plenty of people want to be read by other people too. There's a special thrill about knowing that your writing is being seen by other people, that it exists beyond your control and not carefully hidden in a password protected file on your PC. Sending that letter in the post or clicking send on the email. Your writing may finally do something.

It's exciting.

Lots of people are very modest about their writing too. They think it's bad when it's good, and don't want to show it to anyone else.

Encouraging students to write for Creative Words is hard. They like their writing but aren't sure they want everyone else to see it.

Several people promised me pieces and I encoruaged them, only for them to say they 'didn't think it was good enough.' You never know till someone reads it. If you're one of those people who's too shy to put your writing out there just bear in mind one thought: university can be a cruel experience and it's better to be known as the person who wrote a poem in Creative Words than being known for getting wasted and wearing your knickers on your head.

Volume V presents a range of different writing...

Poetry, prose, microfiction and drama are presented.

Any kind of writing is accepted. In any form. On any theme. There are poems on spring, stories on support work, microfiction pieces about rivalry, and drama about the long waiting times for buses.

Thanks as always to Roseanna for the illustrations and Fran and Lowri for desgining the pages. And thanks to all the people in Cardiff University who like to write.

I sit and finger the lumps of the springs beneath me.

These springs that held me as You pressed me down upon them.

Do they hold the love that drained from me?

Could I tear this mattress apart and find us Curled and foetal and clinging As we were before I came here?

This bed saw the death of us So why am I so sad to leave it?

There are other places entombed with more joy.

The air of this room will forever be mingled with the Last breath of us; the vapours of your aftershave and Our intimate scents A sock you left behind Dragged from under the bed in the upheaval.

I pocket it as I close the door But do not lock it.

Everything of value leaves with me.

spring 09

No Hope for the Harvest

All Hail the Protected Badger

Eleanor Joslin

Eleanor Joslin

A mass of golden ears point up towards the slate sky with the spikelet hairs that cradle each ear husk meeting and reaching upwards as if in prayer.

Each gilded stem stands elegantly in a twenty acre sheaf balancing tall, like ballet dancers with easy grace, and swaying only slightly in the building breeze.

The spikelets listen for the whispered threat of rain fearing, like the farmer, that the attack will ruin them, beat them down to useless fodder and uneaten grain.

Then the malt underbellies of doe will sit and press down their battered stems, and they will dance no more.

And when the slate sky cracks again and the wet attack rains hard to beat the golden ears and ruin the wheat, these batterings will only increase the farmers’ fears.

The Midnight Sky

Aleksandra Dragojlov

The midnight sky is cracked in two as she sits on the hood of her broken down car true blue and falling apart weaving a blanket of silver stars and crescent moons with spidery fingertips, decorated smiles and a pincushion heart, punctured by all the world's dillemmas she scribbles away static lullabies on butterfly wings of rainbow-coloured brilliance that get washed away by summer rainstorms and effervescent tears.

He is made of daydreams laced with cyanide and shattered hope a beautiful apocalypse of skies bleeding stardust and ebony the sapphires in his eyes are fading melting in pools of anguish as his veins run dry he longs for someone to save him to keep him alive and all around him his world is crumbling and exploding and shattering because he never took a chance on second-rate romance.

Maybe one day love will sweep down from her high altar among the comets and neon planets and find her way to two broken teenagers sharing dead-end thoughts in vacant parking lots under a cracked midnight sky.

3.

From Winscott Barton healthy fields stretch on and on.

The colourful squares of blue flax and yellow rape disappear with the distant moors on the horizon.

In the nineties it was not usual for farmers to grow rapeseed for biodiesel and flax for fabric and dye, but these paid government schemes make up the view that used to be full with a flock of healthy Suffolks.

Eight years on and the scant compensation is spent, on burying and cleaning and disinfecting, the farm only just surviving, but with no money left for stock.

But what farm needs a flock with DEFRA’s help?

Inspections reveal a rare bird in a tuft of grass so they say we must, we really must have a plan a DEFRA protection plan for that tuft! We must!

What’s that? Lots of bats? Well, it is a farm barn – they can protect the bats? Why, we must do that!

And the badgers! Who cares about tuberculosis and how their warrens ruin fields? We can’t afford cattle anyway so let’s protect the damn badgers!

Eight years on the small farmer relies on paid acres of rape, swedes and wildlife protection schemes, but never a scheme to restore a farmer’s lost flock.

The millennium saw blistered mouths and jellied hearts starve our two thousand black-faced Suffolk Ewes, seven hundred lambs and a dozen rams. Then shot and rotting for a week before being piled on a pyre to burn and smoulder and stink by the kitchen window.

And eight years later we’ve spent the compensation, not on new stock but on rules and badger protection.

In Spring

Eleanor Joslin

My favourite time of the year is spring, when the verges are crowded with clusters of happy daffodils surrounded by thick emerald leaves.

Every year I have to hunt for hours to find a bucket with no cracks or chicken feed in, so I can fill it up full with the daffs from the verge.

Then I pull on my wellies and I swing the bucket in the spring drizzle, walking towards the yellow sepals fanned out to applaud their trumpets.

I wade through the crowd, dismissing the tarnished and the slug eaten, only picking the perfect daffodils that are tall, strong and young.

As the bucket fills some stems may snap and have to be thrown back into the mass of daffs to wilt prematurely in the damp grass.

My favourite daffodils have a delicate corsage of multiple sepals, a circle of cream coloured petals layered around a bright orange button.

I pick these for someone I have never met before but wish that I had done.

And as they receive them I read William Wordsworth to their headstone.

4.

creative words

The Man in the Middle John Davies

Staff asked Dylan if he minded taking Jack into the Shower; only if he minded. It had been a quiet Saturday morning so he told the nurse that it would be no problem. Dylan looked in the mirror, run his fingers over his bald head, tapped the sides and then shouted into the cubicle.

“Jack-Oh.” “Hell-Oh-ho.” The sound of Jacks voice bent around the half shut door.

“I’m gonna give uwe a shower, orie!”

“Okay-Hey.” Dylan turned away from his reflection, he was happy. As he moved around the nurses’ desk he pinched the staff’s ass and then headed for the sluice to get a plastic gown and latex gloves. He looked back.

She stared, a dead stare. He mouthed, I’ll fuck you later. The Staff ignored Dylan and lowered her head into a patient’s notes, but the pen slipped out of her hand, wet with sweat, and shaking with excitement and anticipation.

“Come on en cock chops, shower time.”

“Shower-Tie-Hi-Hime.” He sang back.

As Dylan loaded a wash bowl up with shower gel, shaving cream, razor, flannel, hair brush, shampoo and conditioner, he called each item out and Jack repeated each item back through his gumless mouth, tapping his feet in time and staring at the blank cream wall of his cubicle.

“Rie then, I’m gonna pull uwe to the shower room in this commode.”

“I’m not going in that. I don’t need the Toy-HoyLet.” Thick black stripes from the blinds shadow ran across Jacks face like a cartoon superhero.

“No, iss not for the toilet. I’m gonna wheel uwe into the shower room on the commode.”

“You are going to wheel me in on the commode.”

“Yeah I’m gonna wheel uwe in, uwve juss gorra sit on the commode, uwe don’t need to go to the toilet.”

Jack cleared up the situation, “I don’t need the toilet. I just have to sit on the commode. You are going to wheel me into the shower room.”

“Yeah sih on the commode.”

“Ho-kay-hey, sit on the com-oh-hoh-hode.”

Dylan hooked his muscles under Jacks armpit, counted to three and then pulled him up - Fuck manual handling he thought – swivelled him around and dropped him onto the commode seat, then placed the bowl on Jacks lap.

“Ere we goh then!”

“Ere we go, ere we go, ere we go. Ere we go, ere we go, ere we go-oh…” together all the way down the corridor to the shower room, passing the Staff who dropped a folded piece of paper into Dylan’s tunic pocket.

“Rie then cock-chops, less take off this stinking jumper of yours.”

Jack posed in the superman takeoff position. Dylan pulled the Navy Blue material over his head.

“Trousers.”

Then they came off, along with the incontinence pad. Immediately Jack started playing with his dick. “ooooooh, look at him, in he lovely, my little willie.”

Jack rubbed the foreskin over the helmet. Dylan turned on the shower, tested the water, it was a suitable temperature. He ignored Jack’s fiddling and asked him if the water was warm enough. “ooooh oooooooooh ooooooooooh you’re burning me. What you doing? You’re burning me. Oh God help me, help me God. Why, what have I done?”

So Dylan turned the temperature down. “ooooh oooooooooooh ooooooooooooh, what are you doing to me?

It’s cold. Get it off me, turn it up. Oh god!”

Dylan turned the tap back to its original temperature.

“There. There we are. That’s it. Perfect. Just right. Spot on. SPOHOHT-ON!.”

So Dylan held the water over his grey hair. Jack continued to rub his foreskin. His dick started to grow. Not totally hard, but some blood did get there.

“Oh – aint he lovely. Look at him. My little willie. In the middle.

There he is. In the middle. Up and down, up and down. There he is.

In the middle.”

Dylan washed Jack’s hair.

“Oh look at him. He’s lovely in he. He’s lovely. Oh that’s nice. You like my head don’t you. That’s it, rub it hard. That’s it boy. In the middle. Yes. Yes.” “Ere ewe are, wash you’re body and your bits.”

Dylan passed Jack a flannel, and he rubbed at his body. With Dylan’s free hand he removed the note from his pocket. It read DON’T MAKE IT TOO LATE FUCKING ME. He placed the note back in his pocket.

“Oh that’s nice. Yeas. Here you are boy. Wash me down. Wash me down boy.”

Dylan washed him down.

“Don’t forget him in the middle. Oh that’s it. That’s it. Do it good boy. Give him a good rub.”

spring 09

Dylan pulled the red attention chord. The buzzer went off.

“Oh look at him now. In the middle. Up and down, up and down.”

The shower room door opened, the Staff Nurse walked in and turned the buzzer off.

“Look at this dirty bastard.” Dylan nodded his head in Jacks direction. The Staff looked at him rubbing at his dick, then pulled Dylan towards her and poked her tongue in and out of his mouth. In and out. Then her hand slid down into his pants and grabbed his cock. He ripped open her dress and pulled out her breasts.

“Ooooh hooooooo. Look at him. You’ve got one too. In the middle.

Put it in her middle. Go on. In the middle…There, there, there it is.”

Spunk flew out of Jack’s dick. “Oh –ho. He’s spitted it out. All out.

All out.”

The staff and Dylan sat at the nurses’ station studying the off duty.

Both silent; both checking what shifts they were working together.

Dylan put his hand up the back of the Staff’s uniform and cupped her cunt. “There it is. In the middle.”

Dylan and the staff laughed together.

The wind blew hard down St Mary’s Street. Buses and Taxi’s bustled down the road. Pedestrians shopped, banked, ate and drank. The ever eternal cue outside Gregg’s the bakers was ever eternal. Dylan stood outside the window of Pizza Express. Cupped his hands up to his eyes and stared into the restaurant. He turned around; a couple of grannies slowly fell out of a bus in front of him, clucking and fussing. He looked up and down St Mary’s street. Then pushed up his sleeve and squinted at his watch. He walked a few yards towards the castle and arched his head around The Royal Bank of Scotland at the corner of St Mary’s and Duke Street, turned back, dug his hand into his pockets and checked his mobile phone. Nothing. He lit a fag, and walked back towards the pizza parlour. He stopped at the Games Centre, and peered in at the staff and customers. He threw his half smoked cigarette, it rolled off the pavement and into the gutter.

The Manager of the Games Centre greeted Dylan as he walked through the door.

“Hello Sir.” “Orie.” Dylan Responded. He looked around at the shop. The walls were covered in toy soldiers, goblins, dragons, princesses, knights, cavalries, dragons, paint pots, paint brushes, boxes and boxes of landscapes.

“Wot uwe sell ere then?”

“Well Sir, we are a gaming centre, people come here for their gaming needs. We supply everything that a gamer requires.”

“Hmmmm” Dylan Turned around and watched other members of staff float around the tables covered in model battle grounds. They rolled die and moved cavalries over mountains. Teenagers with long greasy hair, combat trousers and hoodies; screamed with excitement.

Dylan continued to question the manager of the store. He backed towards one of the battlegrounds and felt around the mountains. His fingers rubbed over the top of a soldier. Swiftly he flicked the tin soldier to the floor. It landed just behind his right boot.

“So as you can see, we also host game nights here. The staff interact with customers, well we call them customers, but they are friends really. That boy in the corner with the thick rimmed glasses is Marc, aka Slapshot, the tall lanky one with buck teeth next to him Andrew aka the Adonis, and the over weight 10 year old next to him is dean AKA Dorus Insepedituim Garius Hawk.”

Dylan crushed the foot soldier under his. By the end of the conversation he had destroyed half an army.

“Well thanks for that, uwe really broadened my mind, like. I berra go thou, gorra meet someone. Druggus copious amountus dealerous.”

When he walked out of the door he mumbled, “Fucking losers” to himself.

Dylan became very impatient waiting for his business associate. He became annoyed, he could do without this, he had to get back to his wife, and he had to visit his sister, who he was increasingly worried about. So he thought to himself that his business associate could go fuck himself. He got better goods from Birmingham anyway. So he headed back to the train station.

He looked up at the metallic pigeons underneath the art deco clock.

They flapped their wings and rose into the air, as the train ran underneath them. Dylan wondered why the pigeons were bigger than the train. The digital timetabled informed him that the next train to Newport was in 12 minutes. Just enough time to look at some porn in WH Smiths.

“Excuse me Sir. I’m not trying to sell you anything. I just want to know if you are aware of the poverty that exists in …”

“Newport. Yeah I am. And I’m trying my best to help solve this problem ortie. With my business. Charity starts ar ome, mate. Now fuck off out of my face, before I ruin uwe.”

The Charity worker folded his clip board under his arm, and straightened his Hi-Vi jacket. It would be half an hour before he would approach another person. His self-confidence was non-existent. He had only taken this job to pay the rent and over due council tax that he had to pay; or the bailiffs would return to collect his guitar and amplifier - his only possessions. The Charity worker really wanted to be a musician - a credible musician - he didn’t care for fame. He just wanted critical acclaim. He watched the top of the heads of the commuters, bobbing up and down, dreaming of waking at 9 in the morning to a coffee made by his wife before heading off to his studio overlooking the sea, maybe in Brighton. No-one noticed when he walked off platform 7 in front of the 16:57 Valley Service to Treherbert.

“Fuck” Dylan Shouted out loud. The customers turned their heads in his direction. “Why the Fuck do they Cover the Porn with cellophane.”

He turned to the customer service assistant. “I Cants gets it open. Miss fucking piggy over there, gets to read er Cosmo, why cants I read MILFS ON TOP? Uwe fucking tells me. Well fuck uwe anyway, I’m late for me train. Fucking ridiculous shop this. I’m gonna complain to the head office. I tells you that for nothing.”

Dylan stormed passed the dropjaws, out through the electric doors.

The staff were to stunned to notice the alarm sounding. “Works every time” he laughed to himself.

“Uwe ave to create a distraction” he said to a mother pulling her pram up the stairs to the platform, and took a picture of her with one of the disposable cameras he stole.

“Smile” it might never appen.”

“Prick.”

The mother Shouted up the stairs at him, when she lost her footing and shopping bags fell out of the undercarriage of the pram. Cucumbers, bread and Pringles bounced down the stairwell.

Dylan kissed his wife on her head. She was still asleep. Montel shouted at teenagers on the flat screen HD ready TV. Then he kissed her bump. “And how’s Zidane today?” His wife turned away, moaned, a leave me alone I ‘m sleeping moan.

5.

6.

creative words

The Jewel

Jessica George

Shooting ice is like swallowing stars. Not real stars, not burning suns, but the wintry diamond kind of stars you see in clear skies in January.

You freeze, but not like water freezes. You decelerate, solidify. You feel minutes, hours, days (could be years, decades, centuries) whiz by like so many insects, but you barely notice them. You are clear and impassive. You are an iceberg, drifting for cold eons on arctic seas; you are crystal, undisturbed in the earth. You are slow life.

After the first time it‘s harder to get frozen. (Of course.) You keep getting pulled back to the present, to the pathetically organic body you inhabit -- flabby and frail and mewling with perpetual infant need, threatening to decay at any moment into its various putrid messes, blood and pus and piss and spunk and slime. You start to wonder why we bothered with evolution at all. You begin to disgust yourself.

One day, you notice a patch of hardened skin, on the inside of your elbow, maybe, or the back of your leg. It is smooth and glassy, not rough like the bottoms of your feet.

It doesn't strike you as unpleasant. You get quite fond of it.

You would like to be preserved in amber. To opt out of life. You would like to be petrified, lifted for good out of the whole sorry cycle. Yes, you would like to be perfect.

She was the first one I saw, and I'm still a little bit in love with her.

We weren’t supposed to see her -- you can kind of understand why -- and that’s why they kept her in that roped-off side room with the bored attendant by the door.

But he had to go to the toilet sometime, and that was when we snuck in, a quick check that Ms. Hancock wasn't looking and round the corner.

She was like some old religious icon, mounted cruciform on the wall, eyes blank, face impassive, clear as glass. I could see the filigree of veins and the light that throbbed through her, regular and faintly blue, like an electric pulse. I'd never seen life before, and I was mesmerised.

I found out later. They sell for millions.

You set down the syringe and settle back, as best you can with these stiff limbs, on the sofa. Ten minutes, maybe, before you need to make the call.

This room's depressing. Mangy carpet, threadbare furniture, nothing personal on the walls, a blur of lights in the window and a clatter of noise outside. Not exactly where you expected to be at thirty. But it no longer bothers you. This, soon, will pass.

After a few moments or hours -- this being frozen time, you're not sure how many -- it occurs to you that you should dial. A little later, you decide you must have done so, because a filtered echo of speech is somewhere in the room with you.

"Which service do you require? Ambulance, police or fire?"

"Can you hear me?"

"Hello?"

You don't need to answer; they'll trace the call. They'll want to phone someone, probably, but you've sorted all that too. There's a single number programmed into your mobile, a creditor's, entered as 'Dad.' The operator's voice grows smaller and flatter, as though it is being pressed out of the world by a big fat silence. It does not seem to matter much.

You are almost perfect now. Clean slate; new transparency; all debts paid off.

Flight

Renyi Lim

I still ask myself if I could ever lose you. Then again, did I ever really try?

You made me sever myself from everything you touched. Shielded by mist that matched the white of a bridal veil, I fled to a pocket of the world tucked between looming mountains and glass-calm fjords. At night, stretched across a deckchair, I watched shadowed clouds encase the stars; in my mind, you faded to almost nothing.

One evening, my landlady came to the door. ‘There is a letter for you,’ she said. I knew the writing on the envelope. With pebbles for eyes, I paid her to burn it.

The train took me into the mountains through tunnels where the light flickered like an old movie reel, until the air was so cold that it hurt to breathe. I sought my reflection in sheets of ice, marvelled for hours at water so undisturbed that I became confused between object and image, and which side of the mirror I belonged to. If I lost myself, you would never find me.

Then, in that candlelit village with one telephone, the stationmaster called me over: ‘There is a letter for you,’ he said. Nine hundred metres above sea level, you could still touch me. And so down you dragged me, all the way back to square one.

spring 09

7.

Echo and Narcissus Renyi Lim

Echo loves Narcissus the first time she sees him. She trips, falls, sprawls into love. Her desire leaves her staring unabashedly, lips parted, breath gone.

Narcissus, for his part, likes her enough. Echo nods, repeats, nods, and smiles over bites of salt-baked sea bass at a quiet taverna overlooking the Corinthian Gulf. And then? she asks, wide eyed. That’s amazing, do tell me again. He likes that.

By way of reward, he takes her to his apartment. Echo stares in wonder: a thousand frames for Narcissus’ perfect face are scattered across the walls, flecked with gilt or etched with ivy. The turmeric-dyed cushions on the sofa have tiny mirrors sewn into the fabric.

His bathroom is a kaleidoscope of mirrored tiles. She blushes when she notices his bedroom ceiling.

They are still kissing each other in the elevator the next morning, but when she opens her eyes, she notices his gaze rests on their reflection in the mirrored walls.

It gets worse. Once Narcissus has told her everything he has to say about himself, he re-tells it. Echo begins to feel like a gramophone forced to play the same record again and again, but when he smiles at her, all she wants to do is please him, so – nod, repeat, nod.

One naiad advises her to take Narcissus hunting; revive their stale relationship with

Upgrading Renyi Lim

My key turned in the lock, but that was the only event that went according to plan. I hauled my shopping into the kitchen to find the roast had slid into the oven without me. Looking around for a knife, I realised the vegetables were lying on a chopping board, already cut, peeled and separated by colour. Meddling bitch.

She emerged from the master bedroom, buttoning up my favourite cashmere cardigan and smoothing her hair with a look of irrepressible smugness. Annoyed as I was, I had to concede that she looked very pretty against the backdrop of domestic harmony.

‘What the hell is this?’ I asked her as she came down the stairs. The man behind her glanced nervously at us before bolting for the door.

‘You took too long to come back,’ she answered. ’We didn’t think you’d ever reappear, so… I took over.’

‘Yes, but you’ve taken everything,’ I protested. ‘My house, my husband, my cooking – ’ She placed a comforting hand on the sleeve of my suit. ‘I’m the better version of you, and you know it,’ she said. ‘I can get the children into bed before ten, and your husband can’t keep his hands off me.’ We stared into each other’s dollar-green eyes; we both knew the knife would have to come into the picture again. ‘Time to leave, don’t you think?’

I sniffed the air. Her pot roast really did smell good – an improvement on mine, certainly. ‘Oh, all right,’ I sighed. ‘But for heaven’s sake, try not to get blood on the carpet.’

fresh air and get him away from those goddamned mirrors.

As she searches the forest for him, Echo wonders how she’s let his beauty use her like a fool. Why, when he gazes into her eyes, it seems as if he’s looking at the image of himself encapsulated in her irises. Why each seduction reeks of onanism instead.

She finds him belly-down, inches from the rippling surface of a lake. His expression in the trembling water is of utter hunger, and Echo knows he has never looked at her that way. Narcissus stretches forward for the kiss, and something breaks within her like an old seashell.

It is unclear what happens next. An inquest concludes it is an unfortunate case of drowning, or perhaps starvation. No one blames Echo; it is impossible to picture her delicate hands guiding him under the water, holding him there as he struggles in her arms like a frightened bird. The stillness of the trees and the silence afterwards.

She keeps what is left of him, white petals and pale ochre centre, in his – now her – apartment. Sometimes, she takes her clothes off in front of it, but it is only when she places it before a mirror that it blooms.

8.

creative words

Marie by the Sea Aisling Tempany

A bench. It is facing towards the sea, behind is a path along the Borth promenade.

Paul. Early 40s. He is thin and partly grey-haired. He wears the smartcasual clothes he works in. He smokes frequently.

Marie. 19 years old. Short, and stocky, seems younger than her age. Her clothes are typically student-like - secondhand, shabby but creative.

(Paul is sat on the bench, Marie is standing, looking out to the sea.)

Paul: Hello Marie: Hello.

Paul: It’s a bit cold today, I wouldn’t throw yourself in there.

Marie: I wasn’t thinking of it.

Paul: Good.

(There is silence. Marie walks on a bit. Paul looks after.)

Paul: Are you waiting for something?

Marie: I’m waiting for a bus.

Paul: When’s it due?

Marie: 8.45.

Paul: Bloody hell, it’s only quarter past seven.

Marie: I know. I was working up there in the caravan park.

I finished early, and walked down.

Paul: How far are you going.

Marie: Only back into town.

Paul: You could probably walk, it’s not that far.

Marie: I don’t know the way.

Paul: Well, it’s really only over the hill.

Marie: Looks like a hard walk though.

Paul: Aren’t you cold?

Marie: Not really.

Paul: You can sit down if you want.

(Marie sits down. He offers her a cigarette.)

Marie: I don’t smoke.

Paul: Always a time to start.

Marie: (she laughs slightly) No, I think I’ll pass.

Paul: What do you do at work.

Marie: I’m just in the shop.

Paul: Don’t you know anyone to give you a lift?

Marie: No. Paul: I sit out here all the time, I only live around there, by the station.

Marie: Ah, so that’s why you haven’t got a coat or anything.

Trains are rubbish, one doesn’t come till half nine.

Paul: As late as that?

Marie: Yep. It’s the last one as well.

Paul:

Trains are rough round here, I get one up to New town all the time. I work there.

Marie: What do you do?

Paul: Call centre.

Marie: Long way to go.

Paul: Nowhere around here though.

Marie: Are you from round here?

Paul: No, I’m from Nottingham. Came here a few months ago. Got divorced.

Marie: Ah. Paul: You don’t sound local either.

Marie: No. I’m from near Surrey.

Paul: Ah. Do you really have another two hours till your bus comes?

Marie: Yeah Paul: Do you wanna go inside? I only live over there.

Marie: No, I’m fine here.

Paul: You sure?

Marie: Er… yeah. I’m fine.

Paul: Ok. (he lights up another cigarette.)

(Marie fans the smoke away from her face.)

Paul: Sorry.

Marie: That’s ok.

Paul: Have you eaten?

Marie: Yeah, I went to the café over there before, had a scone and some tea.

Paul: Is that all?

Marie: I had a big lunch: Paul: Ok. Marie: How long have you been sat here, aren’t you cold?

Paul: No, I like it out here, watching the sun go down.

Marie: Must be nice.

Paul: Sometimes. I just come out here and think.

Marie: Am I bothering you?

Paul: No, I wasn’t thinking about anything.

Marie: I sometimes watch the sea. I don’t think about any thing. I’m just watching it.

Paul: I might go inside soon. Are you sure you don’t wanna come inside?

Marie: No. I’m fine.

Paul: Ok. I only live over there, the first house, flat 2. If you change your mind.

Marie: Ok. Paul: Ok. (Paul gets up to walk away.)

Marie: Hey! Paul: Yeah?

Marie: What’s your name?

Paul: Oh, I’m Paul.

Marie: I’m Marie.

Paul: See you again. Hope you get your bus.

(Marie sits there for another minute and then walks off.)

LETTERS 19

APRIL.27.2009 LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM

letters@gairrhydd.com Bulimia Tact Dear gair rhydd, I write in response to the article about Bulimia. It was a helpful article and it is important that sufferers and survivors of such illnesses (especially male!) should speak out about them in order to raise awareness.

However, one complaint about it was that the amount of weight he lost was written in bold. Anyone reading

the article who suffers from an eating disorder would have been triggered by reading the number of pounds he lost, possibly seeing this as a target.

Future articles on eating disorders should either omit numbers completely or not have them in bold print.

Anon

Protest The Point Dear gair rhydd,

I am writing after being encouraged to protest against the closure of the fantastic venue, The Point, in Cardiff Bay. With a bit of hope, if enough people realise how unfair the circumstances are surrounding its closure, the noise complaints from houses that were built long after the venue opened, we might still be able to save one of the nicest buildings and live music venues in Cardiff.

Kayleigh Davies

Money Matters Dear gair rhydd, It was good to see gair rhydd reporting on a story that the mainstream media don't seem to have cared about, or at least not as much. In an age of recession, with the cost of living rocketing, people care about bank manag-

the Comments from the week’s news, opinion, features and sport at www.gairrhydd.com The Feminism Debate Adam Troth ------This is certainly one of the better articles surrounding feminism that I have read in a long time. There are just two major points which I feel obliged to comment on (constructively).

Firstly, I find the idea of “body fascism” to be a little distorted. Last time I checked, the women’s magazines which featured unrealistic images of women’s bodies were made by women, for women. The suggestion that they are part of a patriarchal ploy to force all women to be a size zero is almost farcical. For a start, most men would rather have a curvy woman in their bed than a twiglet like Keira Knightley who you’d worry about snapping in half. Furthermore, if feminism is intended to be about liberating women on an individual basis, who are you to judge if a woman chooses to take her clothes off in a lad’s magazine? I resent the notion that men are forcing women to do so. The women you see in men’s magazines do so of their own free will, and are very well paid for doing so. This is part of the image problem feminism has that the author correctly recognises.

Linked to this is the idea that the feminist movement has been at best a double-edged sword and at worst a contributor to female oppression rather than a solution. I think that it is absolutely imperative in a free and fair society that women should be allowed to be career women, mothers, whatever they please. However, the freedom to “have whatever you want” seems to have become somewhat warped into a kind of peer pressure to “be everything.” The modern woman is supposed to be some kind of Wonderwoman, ambitious and with a highly successful career whilst also enjoying a highly satisfying family

life and having a large circle of friends with whom she shares a mad and active social life. Not only is this notion highly degrading to women who choose to pursue one path over the other, it is also ridiculously unrealistic.

If a woman (or man for that matter) wants to have a highly successful career, it is inevitable that she will have to make huge sacrifices in her family/social life. You simply cannot have it both ways. This is if anything a sad indictment on a modern society where many people seem to want the impossible without actually having the will to make the sacrifices required to get there.

The cynic in me wonders whether my expression of these views will be greeted with equal cynicism or disdain. I am after all a penis-wielding oppressor without whom the world would undoubtedly be a far better place. However, as the author has also rightly pointed out, to arbitrarily throw out the opinions of 50% of people simply because they possess the opposite set of genitalia will get us nowhere.

Faisal ------Feminism is a subject I’ve been quite disillusioned with. I used to consider myself a feminist in the sense that I believed that: 1.

Women should have the freedom to choose every aspect of their life. 2. Meritocracy applies to all and more should be done to enforce this. 3. Women are often socially-constrained into stereotypes and that there should be a sustained push break those cognitive-barriers.

The above may not sound much but raised a few eyebrows back home. But I saw how intelligent female colleagues were constrained into dropping hopes for college, how a particularly bright girl went into

a pointless marriage and how the main preoccupation of the rest were Hollywood actresses. So I stood my ground, believing I was right and that feminism had the solution.

Then, I came to college and had quite a shock when meeting Western feminists. There was no talk about encouraging women into science, no talk about meritocracy, no talk about breaking stereotypes. Instead, they rambled on about how “the patriarchy“ was to blame for everything from wars to climate change, what bastards men were and how women should empower themselves. What they meant by empowerment wasn’t clear at first but it involved using “feminine charm” and, in a nutshell, playing into stereotypes to get what they want.

They called it, quote, “being smart“.

So I started thinking about the actual achievements of feminism. By comparison at least, Western women are free choose their life, so what did women choose ? On average, they did well in school but chose a degree in English, Media or Psychology/ Sociology and, on graduation, they went into a job where people-skills are vastly more important that technical skills. They had a decent income and a decent career but nothing remarkable.

After countless dates they eventually found a Mr. Right at about 27.

By 30 they had a child, by 35 their career stalled completely and by 40 their main preoccupation was their husband cheating on them. At 45 they had a middle-age crisis realising that their careers lead to nothing and that their family life is a charade. All of this generously sprinkled with many gossip magazines, diets and powerdressing.

Is there any change on the horizon?

No. The feminist role models of today are the characters in Sex and the City (who are doing the exact thing described above) and, last time I checked, “being smart” is the new big

ers and business chief executives getting pay rises and pensions far beyond anything that normal people can dream of.

Apparently when it comes to uni, these high salaries don't matter.

Student money can go straight towards keeping our vice-chancellor in six-figures while we get by on our minimal loan.

Catherine Martyn First Year JOMEC Student

forum

thing in feminism.

So, now, why would I want feminism in my country? So that my sisters can decide that a medicine degree is not as “empowering” as a short dress?

So that billions of dollars can be spent on jewellery and fashion? So that tens of thousands of children can be born to single welfare-mothers and end-up in jail? So that a woman can legally kill her baby because it’s, quote, “her body, her right” and she didn’t care enough to take a pill even if the days are numbered on it ?

No thanks. Yes, I still believe that much more should be done to improve the situation of women but what you call feminism is not the solution, it’s part of the problem.

Oh, and I should add that there are many Saudis pushing for constitutional reform, that the honour killings

were in the tribal belt of Pakistan and are not representative of either the country or Islam and that, in Iran, the new dress “guidance” is actually recent and most women don’t actually follow the rule.

Your pointing of fingers and mentions of the likes of Betty Friedan or Gloria Steinem are not helping reformists in any way, it just strengthens the conservative’s argument that feminism is just a Jewish-American trojan horse. If you actually care about the situation of Arab women and want to help, find a spot in your thinking for the difference between modernisation and westernisation. As long as feminism equals westernisation in people’s minds, it’s a lost cause. Pointing fingers at the whole Arab world from your liberal ivory tower is doing more harm than good.

N-DUBZ

Sponsored by

FEATURES 21

APRIL.27.2009 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

The great depression

After National Depression Week last week, Jamie Thunder talks about his own experiences with depression and anxiety

I

’m Jamie. I’m 19. I have depression and anxiety. That last sentence is probably the hardest I have ever written, but it’s also one of the most important.

You’d never know this to talk to me. I don’t burst into tears in public for no apparent reason, I don’t make sure I wear long sleeves at all times, and I don’t carry a copy of The Bell Jar with me everywhere I go. I get on with my family, friends, and girlfriend, I do well in my course, and I’m extroverted to a fault. But in spite of all this, for the past couple of years I’ve been struggling, mostly on my own, with depression and its accomplice, anxiety.

A lot of people know the, well, depressing statistics that one in four people will have a mental illness at some point in their lives, and one in six will have depression. What fewer people know is that at any one time, between one and five in every hundred people will have anxiety, a condition that can occur either on its own or alongside other mental disorders.

When I have a bad day there's a part of me that wants to feel like that At first, anxiety sounds a bit pathetic. After all, everyone gets anxious, right? Pre-exam nerves, mid-exam nerves, post-exam nerves; it’s expected. But that isn’t anxiety. Anxiety is a complete inability to stop worrying even when there is nothing to worry about. It’s feeling overwhelmed by everything and like you can’t possibly cope. It affects your life and your relationships as you seek constant reassurance and turn the slightest setback, no matter how trivial, into a looming, impossible obstacle. It turns you into a perfectionist, desperate not to make mistakes because you know what you’ll do to yourself.

It’s all very easy, and maybe reassuring, to point to high-profile figures with anxiety or depression like celebrity pirate Johnny Depp, or professional lost ark raider Harrison Ford.

But their circumstances can often seem so far removed from our own to be irrelevant, so let me give an example that’s a bit closer to home.

A couple of months ago, I wrote a column for gair rhydd that I was tweaking and editing until the very last minute. It wasn’t a very good column, but that wasn’t the problem. In the course of changing the wording of various sentences, I managed to miss out a question mark and mis-spell a couple of things. This made it into the print edition, and when I noticed I fell

apart.

Never mind that the proof-readers should have picked up on it. Never mind that I had a (rare) text from someone saying the article had made them laugh. All I could think about was how I had fucked up, and what a ridiculous mistake it was, and how I was basically rubbish for letting it happen. But that’s what anxiety does – it makes you irrational and see everything in black and white. Usually black. It then starts to feed back on itself: it’s such a small mistake, so why am I so upset about it? Why can’t I just deal with it like everyone else?

When I’m like that, I’m impossible. I know that. Everything I do is analysed until I can find some angle to let me be angry at myself, from booking train tickets for the wrong day to arranging work experience and not checking dates with my girlfriend first.

It’s incredibly hard work for anyone who’s trying to help, because until it passes (usually a few hours, but it can be up to a couple of days) I’ll throw anything I can back at them, and be so resolute in my feelings towards myself that logic just gets twisted until it fits my agenda. It becomes a game to look for reasons to dislike myself, to the point where I will deliberately snap at people so I have some more

ammunition. After all, they’re trying to help, so clearly by being harsh on them I’m being the intolerant, nasty bastard I always knew I was.

At those times, there is a part of me that wants to feel that way. It’s easy.

It’s strangely comfortable. I don’t have to try. It’s like a blanket – comfortable but smothering. It hardly seems worth all that effort to try to make myself feel a little better and besides, doing things to help myself would be cheating and manipulating myself.

It becomes a game to look for reasons to dislike myself So far I’ve been talking mostly about anxiety, but for me it’s not really separable from depression. They lead into each other, so it’s hard to tell which is which – if the anxiety hits me it usually leads to me feeling depressed, and if I feel depressed then I look for any mistakes I make and feel the anxiety.

There is still a hell of a stigma around depression and anxiety. My first year of university was very difficult – I hurt myself, and drank on my own more often than I should have because it made me briefly feel better

ANXIETY: Affects up to 20% of people at any one time less frequent.

Some days are still hard – I still dread, for example, module results in case someone’s done better than me or I haven’t lived up to my standards.

But I’m now really trying to fight it, even if on some days I just can’t. After some cajoling from my girlfriend and a housemate, I’m having counselling at the Student Support Centre on Park Place and am taking anti-depressants.

It’s hard to accept that I can’t do it all by myself, but trying to fix the problem with the problem just didn’t work.

Depression and anxiety can happen to anyone and are different for everyone, which is why I’ve tried to give a personal account rather than just facts. I have mild depression, but when I have a bad day it feels unmanageable and as if it’ll never lift. But it does. And there is help available. It’s difficult and it might take longer than would be ideal, but it’s important to remember that these conditions can be beaten and that you don’t, whatever you think, ever have to suffer in silence.

and then let me feel worse without the shame. But I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t even admit it to myself; I just wasn’t the sort of person who had depression, and I’d never even heard of anxiety. Instead, it just became ‘how I felt’ and normal. I knew something wasn’t right, but I decided that it was due to some fault in my character meaning I found things harder than everyone else.

The idea of telling anyone how bad I felt was unbearable. They would worry, and they might not be able to talk to me about their problems. I’d become ‘that depressed guy’. I was terrified that they wouldn’t understand, or worse, wouldn’t believe me.

It was so important to me that no-one knew about my ‘weakness’, and I only told anyone this for the first time last summer when I broke down to my girlfriend at Alton Towers. It beats waiting in line for Oblivion, I suppose.

Since then, I’ve ‘come out’ to my housemates and parents, which was very scary. But everyone has been understanding about it, and even though I still hate people worrying and am not really able to tell anyone except my girlfriend and one housemate when I’m not doing well, knowing that it’s not a secret anymore really helps, and those bad times are becoming less and

For more information on depression and anxiety visit www.studentdepression.org or www.mind.co.uk, or visit Student Support at 50 Park Place

22 FEATURES

APRIL.27.2009 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

Banishing the booze

Some give up chocolate for Lent. Some give up meat. But Daniella Graham decided to try and give up the student favourite: alcohol Sobriety successes: The benefits of being boozefree

More spare cash If you buy four bottles of wine a week, you'll save a whopping £720 a year by giving.

= Weight loss - A glass of red wine is equivalent in calories to a slice of pizza

Healthier brain cells They're more important than ever in the run up to exams, and even moderate drinking can cause memory loss

Improved health and general appearance Speaks for itself: banning the booze means a healthier you

W

hen I decided to give up alcohol for Lent it was not for religious reasons, but simply to see if I could do it. The thought that giving up drinking for a while might be a good idea came to me when a friend commented that they had only ever seen me drunk or with a drink in my hand, and I became more determined once I realised that none of my friends believed I could still go out in Cardiff and not drink.

When one morning I could barely move after the previous night’s six hour drinking session, I fully resolved to give up alcohol for the 40 days of Lent. (Halfway through I realised that as I was also not drinking on Sundays it was actually 46 days, but at this point I was blissfully unaware of that particular detail.)

My weekly routine would not change - I would still go on nights out or meet friends at the pub - I just wouldn’t consume alcohol. So after my pancakes on Shrove Tuesday I enjoyed a final strawberry cider, knowing it would be a while before I would again feel the effects of intoxication.

My first alcohol-free day was not particularly remarkable. In the evening I did visit the Taf, and so under normal circumstances would probably just had a beer for the sake of it, but as beer was out of the question I went for a pineapple juice instead. I then discovered for the first time that pineapple juice at the Union is 80p, and was rather impressed by this bargain. Not only would Lent be easy, I thought to myself, but I would save so much money I would soon be rich!

Alcohol-free beer tastes like how I'd imagine urine to The rest of the first week was not as easy. The next day I found myself putting up posters in the Great Hall whilst the Real Ale and Cider Festival was being set up. Never before had alcohol smelt so good or been so tempting… The next day my beer cravings had not subsided, and I found myself forced to queue in the beer section of Sainsbury’s. The temptation was getting to me but I refused to be beaten in my first week, so bought some alcohol-free Becks in case of emergencies.

Greater challenges were ahead…

After surviving a week without alcohol, I still hadn’t ventured out properly on a night out. While I often go on nights out at home without drinking much or at all, in Cardiff the thought of being sober seemed strange. Sharing stories of what you drunkenly got

When I was persuaded to attempt Come Play again I was determined to be at least a bit hyperactive, and proceeded to consume 7 cans of Red Bull. By 1.30am I had merely succeeded in giving myself a headache and the shakes, so I resolved to lay off the caffeine drinks for a while. By the time elections were over I was halfway through my period of sobriety.

While I no longer missed being drunk, I missed the taste of beer and had taken to smelling my friends’ pints like a complete nutcase.

The craving for beer was getting to me, so I finally decided to crack open one of my bottles of alcohol-free beer.

What a genius invention, I thought to myself. I can drink to my heart’s content but never get drunk! I wondered why more people didn’t drink alcohol-free beer. After one sip I realised why - the taste of alcohol-free beer reminded me of what I would imagine urine tastes like.

Thursday night at Walkabout is the worst place in the world to be sober

ALCOHOL: The essence of student culture, or the death of it? up to the night before seems to be as much a part of university life as the nights out themselves. However, the only negative of my evening was discovering that Relentless is actually pretty disgusting. I had a great night out, and enjoyed waking up the next day feeling fresh and without the room spinning.

Feeling energised after this successful alcohol-free night at the Union, two days later I again ventured to the Union for Come Play. This proved to be a mistake, as I had never fully appreciated until then how smashed everybody actually is at the Union on a Saturday night. Being with drunk people when you are sober can be fun.

However, being with people that cannot actually stand and have absolutely no spatial awareness is less fun.

People managed to step on my toes when walking past despite the fact there was a 2m gap between myself and where they were trying to get through, and in the process seemed intent to dispose of their drinks on my clothing. Girls dancing were too

drunk to work out that whether the person they were grinding against was male or female.

I really missed the taste of a cold pint As one girl drunkenly tripped up her own foot and went flying I thought to myself-what a state. Then I thought back to all the times I have fell flat on my face on nights out and realised that a lot of the time, I am that girl tripping up on her own shoes. I didn’t like this thought.

The toughest period without drinking was by far during campaigning for the student elections. Campaigning for my friends was really good fun, but after a long day campaigning the evening was when everybody would let their hair down. Whilst I was able to have some really great nights out, I also discovered that Thursday night at Walkabout (otherwise known as Bounce) is pretty much the worst place in the world to be sober.

I had thought the main difficulty of my challenge would be the inability to get drunk on nights out, but actually my main struggle was being unable to enjoy the simple pleasure of a nice cold pint.

The rest of Lent was fairly uneventful after the end of term there were no major nights out, and whilst I sometimes wished I could have a pint when I went to the pub with friends, I had got used to just ordering a coke.

Despite this, the Corona I took out of the fridge after Lent finished was heavenly - going without beer for so long had made me appreciate the taste rather than just the alcohol content.

You can live the student life and not be constantly hammered Whilst I cannot pretend I will never get horrendously drunk ever again, giving up alcohol has made me realise you can live the student life without being constantly hammered. It makes a pleasant change to wake up after a night out without feeling like you have been smashed over the head with a heavy object, and it really is possible to have fun on a night out when sober.

Just not on a Saturday.

FEATURES 23

APRIL.27.2009 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM

'Letting mum die was the hardest thing ever'

As MS Awareness Week commences, Anna Davidsson recalls her experience of living with a parent with the crippling disease

S

ince before I was born my mother suffered from Multiple Sclerosis.

But I only became aware of the disease at the age of seven, when I arrived home from spending the summer abroad with relatives, only to find a strange woman stood by the kitchen sink.

My father quickly told me that the woman was in fact a home carer, and that mum wasn’t too well. She had MS. At such a young age I didn’t really understand what was going on - as far as I knew if people got sick, they got better. The concept of someone not recovering from an illness was alien to me.

I can remember there being numerous trips to the hospital, but mum didn’t seem to be getting any better. In fact, she seemed to be getting worse.

Whereas before she had been walking short distances, now she wasn’t walking at all and was permanently

confined to a wheelchair.

Sufferers of MS go through good and bad phases. My mother had a really good phase whilst pregnant with me, which was followed by a really bad phase once I was born. When my grandmother told me this, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was my fault that she was ill and naturally I felt terrible.

I immediately jumped to the conclusion that I'd made her ill For ages I thought that I was to blame. Even now that I know better, having learnt as a medical student how pregnancy works and having learnt that the disease was there long before I was even thought of, I think there is still a part of me that thinks its my

fault. Why, I don’t know, and I probably never will.

Growing up was difficult. I didn’t like to tell people about my mother’s illness because I worried what they’d think of me. Being older now, I realise this was stupid. But at the time it’s what I thought - that was a 12-yearold’s logic.

As the years went by the disease progressed. The older I got the more aware I was of the disease’s implications, and it all seemed to get a lot harder for me.

It was so difficult see someone deteriorate physically and depending on others in order to perform the simplest of tasks whilst they remained so mentally alert.

My mother’s health worsened until she died during the first term of my first year at university. In the weeks leading up to her death she had become unable to swallow, and the decision had been made by my family not to administer any fluids or food and to allow nature

to take its course.

At this point she was in hospital and I can remember discussing with my father what we should do . We decided it would only be delaying the inevitable, and if fluids etc. were administered, who was it going to help?

Because she was in hospital, the final decision to withhold treatment was made by the consultant in charge.

I remember dreading his answer: if he said treatment should continue then social workers would be dragged into the case, resulting in my mother being kept alive unnecessarily.

MS: The Facts

Would keeping her alive have helped in the long run?

Symptoms of the disease include:

It may seem like an awful decision to make - to withhold treatment and allow someone to die. But although it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I know it was for the best.

If treatment had continued and my mother had been kept alive would it really have helped anyone? She was not getting any better; she was lying in her hospital bed unable to do anything, so was this not a natural point at which to stop administering treatment and stopping things dragging on any

My mother died in my first week of university further?

I finally got the call on a Saturday morning about 9am. I felt so sad, but knew that any suffering she felt was finally over. This thought in a way, consoled me.

MS as a disease is one that is not given much media attention. People may have heard the name but most could probably not tell you anything about it.

The reality is that it is an extremely sad disease - my mother’s case is a testament to that.

For more information about MS, contact the Wales branch of the Multiple Sclerosis Society on 02920 786676, or visit the website at www.mssociety.org.uk RAISING AWARENESS: One of the many evocative images used by the Multiple Sclerosis Society

What is multiple sclerosis?

Multiple sclerosis is a chronic illness that attacks the central nervous system, which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and optic nerves. The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS are unpredictable and vary from one person to another.

What are the symptoms?

* fatigue *numbness *coordination problems *bladder and bowel dysfunction *vision problems *dizziness and vertigo *sexual dysfunction *depression *emotional changes

What treatment is there?

Although there is still no cure for MS, effective strategies are available to modify the disease course, treat exacerbations (also called attacks, relapses, or flareups), manage symptoms, improve function and safety, and provide emotional support. These treatments enhance the quality of life for people living with MS.

Who gets MS? Research shows that the disease is at least 2-3 times more common in women than in men.

Whereas the risk of developing MS in the general population is 1/750, the risk rises to 1/40 in anyone who has a close relative with the disease. Even though identical twins share the same genetic makeup, the risk for an identical twin is only 1/4, which indicates that factors other than genetics are involved.

How can I help raise awareness?

To donate, campaign, fundraise or volunteer, visit www.mssociety.org.uk/get_involved/index. html

JOBS & MONEY 25

APRIL.27.2009 JOBS@gairrhydd.COM

Careers: at your service

Struggling to find a job for after you graduate? Tom Victor spoke to Director of Careers and Employer Services Les Rees to find out how the Careers Service can help

F

inding a job after university is a difficult task at the best of times.

But with the recession causing companies to recruit fewer graduates and even withdraw job offers, 2009 looks to be a tough time for graduates searching for employment.

Fortunately the Cardiff Careers Service is here to help. Jobs and Money spoke recently with Les Rees, Director of Careers and Employer services, to find out what you can do to boost your chances of getting the job you want after graduation.

Mr Rees admits that there has been a lot of media hype recently about the recession and its impact, but - as is always the case - there are plenty of things that graduates can do to help themselves.

Help is available for current Cardiff students as well as recent graduates Above all else, it is imperative that graduates should go out and tell people what they can do: self-promotion is a valuable quality in the search for employment and its worth should not be

underestimated.

There also appears to be a widespread acceptance that job offers may be withdrawn, with the demise of highprofile companies, including Woolworths, further hindering the already difficult conditions.

While there is great competition for jobs among those in higher education, there are evidently not that many graduate jobs available. Fortunately, however, the Careers Service intends to remind you that it is willing to provide its support.

And this support is not just for current undergraduate and postgraduate students, but also for recent graduates of Cardiff University.

Mr Rees recognises that - in the current economic climate - many recent graduates may be under threat of redundancy and he hopes that the service can help out as much as possible.

First and foremost, Mr Rees was concerned that many students do not even know where the Careers Service is located, and haven’t been overly keen so far to seek out such information.

For those of you who are unaware of where to look for careers advice, the Careers Service building is on 5 Corbett Road (near Barclays), and you can find out more and get in touch with advisers via www.cardiff.ac.uk/carsv

NO DIRECTION?: New measures have been taken by the service this year, providing interactive workshops for those students concerned about how the current economic climate will affect their options. Mr Rees has expressed a desire to "distinguish between the facts and myths about the recession", as well as showing students how to obtain further help.

The first workshop took place at the end of March and went down well, the turnout for the event confirming the great demand for careers advice this

The Careers Service is here to help year more than any other. As a result, the Careers Service has announced that it intends to provide further workshops in the near future.

If you are unable to make it down to a workshop then all is not lost. The Careers Service will be sending out information about the recession to all final-year undergraduate and postgraduate students, pointing out the difficulties they will face but also highlighting those sectors which might be slightly less affected by the recession.

Attempts are also being made to

work with local businesses, encouraging them to accept graduates when previously they may not have been interested in doing so.

However all of the measures in place now, or those soon to be put in place, will in no way supersede the more traditional work done by careers officers to help graduates and current students in their search for employment.

Careers consultants will be on hand to help out all students who need their advice if they have been unable to find work or if they have had job offers withdrawn. Equally important are the aforementioned workshops, which may be able to provide students and graduates with more ideas for their future.

It should also not be forgotten that the Careers Service is continuing to work with local employers (using GO Wales) in order to seek out work experience opportunities for students, while reminding students of the virtues of voluntary work and the attainment of important work skills. Again, more information on this front can be found by heading down to Corbett Road and speaking to one of the careers consultants.

So, if you have been unable to sort out a job for after you graduate, and if you want some guidance on your options after uni, then get in touch with the Careers Service.

26 XPRESS

APRIL.27.2009 XPRESS@gairrhydd.COM

Listen LIVE Online Stark and Moo Show

Varsity

Flo Jam Sessions

Join these two lovely gentlemen every Monday for an afternoon of light-hearted, silly nonsense! The show features cuttingedge relationship advice with Stark’s highly interactive, 'LUV in da club', odd nonsense in 'Moo’s weird global news', the infamous daft on air game 'Phone Roulette', and the climax of each week where Stark & Moo play their song of the week (be warned, it is usually a track performed by the hosts themselves which they try and pull off as original, or a very bad remix). So tune in because Stark & Moo love nothing more than arousing all you lovely lot!

Tune in on Wednesday as Xpress brings you all the highs and lows from the most anticipated sporting event of the year, Varsity. This sees over 1,000 students from Cardiff and Swansea’s top sports teams compete in a day of sporting activity to decide the winner of the 2009 Varsity Shield, which for the past eight years Cardiff has been deservedly looking after! Throughout the day you can expect to hear regular score updates and details about all the matches taking place, culminating in an evening of live coverage from the highly-contested rugby match.

As Cardiff’s biggest hip hop and RnB show, Flo Jam Sessions brings you the best selection of urban music, along with the latest releases and leaks. The show includes the Mix Session, UK Grime, Bashment, Culture, Funky House & Neo-soul, plus guest DJs. All this is topped off with a UK glaze presented by DJ Flo every Friday night, so make sure you tune in online.

Monday: 2pm till 3:30pm

Wednesday: All Day

Friday: 10pm till 12pm

Mainstream

Monday 9am-11am Filling the Gap with Emma & Alexis 2pm-3:30pm Stark and Moo Show 3:30pm-6pm Teatime with Lee

Tuesday 9am-11am Three Girls & A Gay 12pm-1:30pm B.A.M with Rebekkah and Mikey 1:30pm-3pm Loud Noises 3:30pm-6pm Teatime with Luke and Ed

Friday 9am-11am Welcome In The Weekend 12pm-1:30pm Two Girls, One Mic 1:30pm-3.30pm Milo's Mashup 3.30pm-6pm Teatime with TNT

Saturday 10:30am-12pm Stay Asleep with Henry and Oscar 12pm-1:30pm Jack and Tom Delusion 1:30pm-3pm Three Man Bundle

Sunday 1pm-2:30pm Laura, Dora & Lucy Show 3pm-5pm The Student Radio Chart Show

Wednesday

Sports

9am-10am ABC 10am-11:30am Lily Star 11:30am-12:30pm Gossip Girls 12:30pm-2pm Lynn and Louisa 2pm-3:30pm Hilary and Heather Show 3:30pm-6pm Teatime with Rich and Britt

Mon 12pm-2pm Sports Show Wed 7pm-10pm Live Varsity Cup Coverage Thu 12pm-2pm Sporties Thu 6pm-7pm American Sports Show

Thursday 9am-11am Kat and Ash Show 2pm-3:30pm Madame Audrey's 3:30pm-6pm Teatime with Sam and Greg

Speech Mon 11am-11:30am The Trawlermen's Sweethearts Tue 11am-11:30am The Xpress Test Tue 11:30am-12pm Speech Round-up Thu 11am-12pm The Weekly Summit Fri 11:00am-11:30am A Beginner's Guide to...

Fri 11:30am-12pm Across The Corridor Sun 11am-12pm Hair of the Dog Sun 9pm-10pm Story Time with Daneka

Specialist

Indie Mon 6pm-7pm Xhibition Mon 8pm-9pm Gig 'n' Mix Mon 9pm-10pm Holly and Bo's Radio Show Mon 10pm-11pm Sam & Will Show Wed 10pm-11pm Hot Pap Sat 6pm-7pm Mrs Goggins' Backroom Sun 5pm-6:30pm The Toni and Zoe Show

Classical and Jazz Sun 6:30pm-7:45pm Sunday Classics Sun 7:45pm-9pm Jazz Society Show

Hip-Hop/RnB Fri 10pm-12am Flo Jam Sessions Fri 12am-1am $traight Ca$h with DTR

Rock/Metal/Punk Mon 12pm-1am Superstar DJs, Here We Go! Tue 8pm-9pm Rock! Paper Scissors Tue 10pm-11pm Hedonism Wed 11pm-12am Subversion Sat 7pm-8pm The Argument

House/Electro/ Dance Wed 9pm-10pm Housemasters Fri 8pm-9pm Hype Machine

Pop Sat 3pm-4pm Push Pop

Pick 'n' Mix Mon 7pm-8pm Live Transmission Mon 11pm-12am Anything Alternative Tue 7pm-8pm Bill & Tom's Most Excellent Adventure Tue 9pm-10pm CUTV On The Radio Tue 11pm-12am Escape From The Pigeon Hole Wed 6pm-7pm Xposed Wed 7pm-8pm YAPS Wed 8pm-9pm Bringing It All Back Thu 7pm-8pm Curly Joe and Ginger’s Countdown Conundrum Thu 11pm-12am Dan and Petch’s '80s Hour of Power Thu 12am-1am Pete and Coralie Fri 7pm-8pm Full Body Immobilisation Fri 9pm-10pm The Essential Gig Guide

World Music Tue 6pm-7pm Global Grooves Fri 6pm-7pm International Superhits

Contact The Studio E-mail: studio@xpressradio.co.uk Phone: 02920781530 Text: 07722263888

FIVE MINUTE FUN 27

APRIL.27.2009 FMF@gairrhydd.COM

found on facebook Housemate done something stupid?

1. Log on to the book of face 2. Join the group ‘Found on Facebook’ 3. Upload embarrassing photos 4. Pick up gair rhydd on Monday and laugh

sudoku.

EASY

Quick Crossword Across

Down

1. Make too low an estimate (9) 6. Fastens securely (5) 9. Vacation (7) 10. Penitence (7) 11. Abundant (7) 12. Porridge (7) 13. Unaggressive (9) 15. A peninsula in northeastern Egypt (5) 16. France's longest river (5) 19. Uncorrupted (9) 22. Sometimes, it's whipped cream (7) 23. Flight attendant (7) 25. Swagger (7) 26. An implement (7) 27. Hebrew unit of dry measure (5) 28. Matter (9)

1. Wedding helper (5) 2. Quandry (7) 3. Shine (7) 4. Heretofore (2 words) (5) 5. Workers (9) 6. Durations (7) 7. A flask for carrying water (7) 8. Fascinate (9) 13. Acceptable to the taste (9) 14. Belonging to the middle class (9) 17. Level a charge against (7) 18. An inscription on a tombstone (7) 20. Gorge (7) 21. Go-between (7) 23. Young pigeon (5) 24. Dig (5)

Send more oddities!

MEDIUM

HARD

28 LISTINGS The Listings Top Five... ...ways to avoid revision!

As exams loom the inevitable happens - everyone looks for every possible alternative to revision. Here are some of my personal favorites in procastinating ecstacy!

1. Plan A well known favorite. Plan in detail what you will do when you start. Draw up reams and reams of lists and timetables; the ideal way to delay actually sitting down to revise!

2. Look for Summer Jobs Job applications take ages so are a dangerous diversion. On the upside, it makes you feel like you are being constructive even though you're not revising.

3. Cook Amazing how dinnertime can be stretched to last several hours rather than half an hour. The usual can of baked beans gets substituted for a lovingly cooked and prepared gourmet meal.

4. Internet Games Dangerously accessible and worryingly addictive... the perfect way to while away a good few hours of your day! Best to be avoided by third years if you value your degree.

5. The Gym Showing that literally anything will divert you away from hitting the books, the gym becomes strangely appealing!

You'll have a honed and toned gym-goers body to show for your time-wasting!

Monday 27th April

DEBATING SOCIETY PRESENT "MULTICULTURALISM IN THE UK" @ GREAT HALL The debating society host a number of high profile speakers and politicians at this debate on multiculturalism.

Doors 7pm, start 7.30pm, £2 NUS / £3 other 10 FEET LIVE @ 10 FEET TALL A host of local live bands and acts take to the stage in the Rock Room tonight, to give us a taste of what the rest of Britain is missing out on.

8.30pm - late, contact venue for prices CABARET @ NEW THEATRE As Liza Minnelli put it oh so well in the seventies' film adaptation ‘life is a cabaret’, and you’ll most certainly be agreeing tonight if you drag your miserable backside down to the New Theatre. You’ll be singing, dancing, and proclaiming how great life is in no time! Starring Samantha Barks and Wayne Sleep.

7.30pm, £33 (runs until May 2nd) THE FAMILY’S FIDDLE IN THE DARK PRESENTS: EITHA TAL FFRANCO ALBUM LAUNCH @ TOMMY’S BAR New album launch is hosted by Tommy’s Bar tonight. Eitha Tal Ffranco are a Welsh folk band who embrace the Welsh language in the lyrics of their music. Supported by fellow Welsh act Cymbient.

8pm, £4 in advance online, £5 on door SONS OF NOEL AND ADRIAN + COLORAMA + Y MUR @ BUFFALO Acoustic folk act ‘Sons of Noel and Adrian’ prepare to blow you away with their dark sound.

8pm, £5 SKINNY MOLLY @ THE GLOBE Classic Southern comfort personally delivered by rock band Skinny Molly. Now fronted by former Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Mike Estes, a few of the '70s band’s anthems will be expected.

7.30pm, £8

APRIL.27.2009 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

Tuesday 28th April

JUST DANCE! @ CLWB IFOR BACH A salute to Lady Gaga’s number one hit!

Cardiff's hottest music venue just got a little hotter. JUST DANCE! Is Welsh club’s new Tuesday club night and has one simple mission: to get you dancing all night long. No gimmicks, no false promises, just cheap entry, bargain drink prices and some great tunes.

10.30pm, £3 10 FEET CELTIC ROOTS NIGHT @ 10 FEET TALL Hosts Derek and Jamie, from renowned Celtic band Mabon, bring you the finest Celtic musicians and performers every fortnight. Roots night is an opportunity for musicians and artists to take to the open mic and show you what they’ve got. Followed by weekly club night, Big Tuesday!

8-11pm, contact venue for prices BOB DYLAN @ CIA Boy are we in for a treat, for the ultimate legend that is Bob Dylan is paying the Welsh capital a visit, accompanied by his revolutionary folk rock and blues music style. Drag your parents along and let them buy your ticket.

7.30pm, £40/£42.50 CHIC BEAT @ REVOLUTION There’s a whole lot of sophisticated student-chic swanning about the gaffe! Where better to showcase it than at Revolution’s crazily good club night? Go on, you know you want to.

9.00pm - 3am, £3.50 ROOTS UNEARTHED: MARTIN HAYES & DENNIS CAHILL @ ST. DAVID’S HELL The bewitching sound of the American guitarist and the Irish fiddler will leave you captivated for years to come.

8pm, £12

Wednesday 29th April

NO WAVE WEDNESDAYS @ BUFFALO BAR Post punk, New Wave, Italo Disco and dancefloor fun played out by the likes of DJs Richard Jones, Quench's very own Phil Guy and Mark Shape. With drinks at £2 a pop, you can’t go much wrong!

8pm–3am, free LISTEN UP @ CLWB IFOR BACH Pick and choose the music you want to hear with Cardiff’s best DJs playing classic indie and new releases on the top floor, guest DJs occupying the middle each week, and motown and funk on the bottom. £1 tequila and sambuca shots will get you fuelled in no time!

10pm, £2/£3 JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON @ OCEANA Sample the rainbow of VK offerings at Oceana tonight as you groove to your favourite tunes in the genres of hip hop, RnB, bubblegum pop, and dance – a happy place is awaiting you on Greyfriar’s Road.

9pm, £4/£2 NUS PEATBOG FAERIES @ THE GLOBE Their talents are unstoppable, their sound is enthralling and their name is unusual – meet the Celtic fusion band, the Peatbog Faeries, at the Globe tonight!

7.30pm, £14 POLITICS IN THE PARK: ZENDEH @ CHAPTER ARTS CENTRE Not as grave as initially believed! Performers Rebecca Knowles and Nazli Tabatabai– Khatambakhsh introduce you to sisters Jinty and Effie, and take a peek into their world of love, sex and farting! A light-hearted comedy, centring on the questions that plague us in everyday society.

8pm, £6/£4

Students’ Union, Park Place, 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com ◆ Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 ◆ Clwb Ifor Bach ros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com ◆ Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 ◆ Move, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 ◆ Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com ◆ The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk ◆ St. David’s Hall, Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk ◆ The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk ◆ The Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 ◆ The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com ◆ Tommy’s Bar,

LISTINGS 29

APRIL.27.2009 LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

Thursday 30th April

CARDIFF UNIVERSITY BREAKDANCE SOCIETY PRESENT BATTLE ROYALE II @ CF10 The Other Varsity: Cardiff vs. Swansea breaking crews battle it out for the trophy. Last year was a draw. This year - who knows? Promises to be freaking awesome!

Soundtracked by Veto, Killer Tomato & Credit One. 8pm, £2 BANJO OR FREAKOUT + BALKY MULE + THINGS MAKE ELECTRIC @ CLWB IFOR BACH Sway to the blissed-out drones and afrobeats of Banjo or Freakout and lose yourself to the gently sung melodies of Sam Jones' songwriting in a night of chilled out relaxation.

7.30pm, £6 TASTEMAKER SOCIETY : DAN TIGHT + JEN LONG + SHAPE RECORDS DJS + CULTURE VULTURE DJS + SI (PICTURE BOOKS IN WINTER) @ BUFFALO BAR Bounce down to Buffalo for their night of 'No Rules' and 'New Music', where the human jukebox of DJs will wow you with beatdriven tunes from every genre.

8pm-3am, free C-Y-N-T: RESIDENT DJS AND GUESTS @ CLWB IFOR BACH The floor will be shaking tonight for the first post-Easter C-Y-N-T. Make the most of the guilt-free, non-stop electro 'til 4am before exam fever kicks in!

10.30pm - 4am, £3 BOUNCE @ WALKABOUT It's marketed as, 'the biggest and best student night in Cardiff'. Not sure many students would agree with this, but either way, lots of drinks at £1.50 - get involved!

9pm-3am, £3

Friday

1st May AMGEN: BROKEN @ THE SHERMAN THEATRE A preview of award-winning Gar Owen's latest drama. Not exactly light-hearted entertainment, but an absorbing story that will get you thinking.

8pm, £10-12 MADE IN BRITAIN: THE GREAT BRITISH ROCK 'N' ROLL SHOW @ ST. DAVID'S HALL 4 decades of total musical supremacy compressed into a jam-packed 2 hours of unforgettable, timeless classics, from the likes of John Lennon, Paul McCartney and The Crown Jewels.

8pm, £15-17 NOFX @ CARDIFF STUDENTS' UNION The epitome of New Wave American Punk, these cult punks from the early '80s mix their 'don't give a damn' attitude with some frantic, energetic songs to get you moving.

7pm, £18 THE BLOCKHEADS @ THE GLOBE Legendary funksters playing a mixture of old favorites and their new material.

7.30pm, £16 DRONES COMEDY CLUB: CLINT EDWARDS, DAN THOMAS AND GUEST COMEDIANS @ CHAPTER ARTS CENTRE Giggle your way through some of the very best in new, upcoming stand up comedy.

8.30pm, £3

Saturday 2nd May

SURFACE UNSIGNED FESTIVAL 2009 @ BARFLY A nationwide festival that actively brings unsigned bands and artists to the attention of the music industry. Some of the biggest names in the industry help upcoming bands to get recognised and build up their fan base. The ideal place to enjoy new music and spot the upcoming stars.

7.30pm, £6 JAMES TAYLOR QUARTET @ THE GLOBE Unwind from the week of revision and deadline stress to the rare groove, jazz funk and soul of this legendary, UK funkmeister.

8pm, contact venue for prices COME PLAY @ CARDIFF STUDENTS UNION As exams loom, make the most of the weekends. Plan a lazy Sunday and a hectic and heavy, dancing and drinking Saturday night at Come Play.

9pm-2am, £3.50 BOGIEZ: RESIDENT DJS @ THE VENUE Cardiff's ultimate rock, metal, and alternative club night, nestled in the centre of the city in Mary-Ann Street. A welcome alternative the cheese-fest of St. Mary's on a Saturday night.

9pm - 3am, £4 FLY SWATTER: RESIDENT DJS @ BARFLY Make your weekend throb with brilliance and your feet ache from dancing, as Barfly brings you dancefloor fillers from yesteryear.

10.30pm, £4-5

Sunday 3rd May

FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY @ ST. DAVID'S HALL Song and dance entertainment from Farenheit Dance Schools, gathered from across the country to showcase routines from Mamma Mia, Moulin Rouge, We Will Rock You, and many more!

5.30pm, £12 F_CK LONDON & CASETTE QUALITY @ BUFFALO BAR If your feeling stressed and worn out, take a leaf out of Buffalo's book - 'F_ck work, F_ck Monday', and make the most of the 2-4-1 cocktails and Party Disco Trash.

8pm-3am, free NME RADAR TOUR: LA ROUX + HEARTBREAK + MAGISTRATES + THE CHAPMAN FAMILY @ THE GLOBE The Globe tonight features everything disco, from the satin suits and brylcreamed hairlines of the Italo/Euro, 2-piece Heartbreak, to the crazy hair and fat synths of La Roux, who is widely understood to be the second coming of '80s pop.

7pm, contact venue for prices AZRIEL @ BARFLY An epic noise machine pumping some hard-core, metal music to mosh to.

7.30pm, contact venue for prices 10 FOOT CWTCH: ROWAN LIGGET @ TEN FEET TALL The ultimate open mic session where, in the process of embarrassing yourself, you can earn booze!

8.30pm-3am, £3

THE BEST LIVE STAND-UP COMEDY @ THE GLEE CLUB Unfortunately, the usual buffet is not running tonight, but that won't detract from a night of rip-roaring, riotous laughter, courtesy of Mick Ferry, Pierre Hollins, Owen McNeill and Paul Chowdry.

7.30pm, £6 - 8.50

(The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net ◆ Barfly, Kingsway, Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff ◆ MetIncognito, Park Place 02920 412190 ◆ Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 ◆ The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 ◆ Café The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk ◆ Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org ◆ Wales Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk ◆ The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk ◆ Howard Gardens (off Newport Road) 02920 416192 ◆ The Globe, 125 Albany Road, Roath, Cardiff 07885 742171 www.theglobecardiff.com

SPORT 31

APRIL.27.2009 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

THE WORD ON... ...the drama, excitement and surprises of Formula 1 2009 Richard Williams Sports Editor The Formula 1 season may only be in its infancy, but already a number of surprises and controversies have brought the campaign to life.

Jenson Button has risen to prominence due to the introduction of the Brawn GP team, led by former Ferrari and Honda expert Ross Brawn, who have adapted impressively despite the fact that just weeks before the Australian Grand Prix the team didn’t exist.

In a matter of weeks, Brawn GP have gone from relative newcomers to leading both the constructors and driver’s championships after three races, with Button and team mate Rubens Barrichello occupying the top two positions.

Brawn’s early dominance has surprised nobody, given their impressive form in pre-season practice, where Button and Barrichello displayed how much potential the team had.

Fast forward to the end of the Chinese GP and, despite Red Bull finishing first and second, Button leads his team mate by six points, with Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel 11 points off the lead in third place.

Brawn GP lead the constructors’ championship by 16.5 points. The future certainly looks bright for Brawn and, in particular, Button.

Meanwhile, last year's world champion Lewis Hamilton has struggled with a number of issues, foremost being the quality of his McLaren Mercedes car. His admission that he won’t be able to perform to the standards that saw him become world champion, because of the problems with his car, adds to a miserable start of his title defence, which has been coupled with off-track issues.

Hamilton has been embroiled in a scandal that, if the media speculation is to be believed, has led to the McLaren team turning against him.

Sporting director Dave Ryan was

BUTTON: Looking to a successful season with Brawn GP sacked after 35 years at the team following allegations that he told Hamilton to lie to stewards at the Australian GP in Melbourne. Hamilton lost the points from the race and has since struggled to clear his name in the face of the controversy.

The future certainly looks bright for Brawn and Button The scandal has hit McLaren hard, adding to the problems they currently face with their car, as well as lingering doubts amongst their rivals following the ‘spygate’ affair of 2007.

Whether their nightmare start continues through the season or they manage to put their troubles behind them remains to be seen, but with just eight points after the first three races,

McLaren are already lagging behind.

At least McLaren have some points on the board, which can’t be said about Ferrari, who have surprised everyone by failing to finish in the points in all of the three races so far.

Their drivers, Kimi Raikkonen and Felipe Massa, are undoubtedly two of the most talented in the championship, yet problems with the car and strategic errors have meant that Ferrari have under-performed.

Gone are the halcyon days of Ferrari being almost guaranteed to dominate the season with Michael Schumacher’s excellence. The team has faltered in 2009 with the car failing to live up to expectations and the team behind Raikkonen and Massa providing questionable strategic decisions that have cost them dear.

Raikkonen was put on wet tyres in Malaysia with the rain yet to fall, costing him priceless seconds per lap as he dropped down the grid. Massa also fell victim to his team’s errors in the same race, with a qualifying mistake forcing the Brazilian to start the race in sixteenth.

These errors and poor performances have opened up the F1 season, with Brawn and Red Bull capitalising on the poor start that McLaren and Ferrari have made. The performances of Brawn’s Button and Barrichello and Red Bull’s Vettel and Mark Webber have outshone the pre-season favourites of Ferrari and McLaren, with Toyota’s Timo Glock impressing in only his second season as well.

The BBC have brought life to Formula 1's coverage again Another aspect that has opened the season up is the advent of the new KERS system. Some teams have adopted the Kinetic Energy Recovery System, a system that offers an energy boost to teams of up to 60 kilowatts, providing those teams that have cho-

sen to use the KERS with the boost each lap. However, the system adds weight to the car, which has deterred some teams from using the system.

McLaren, Renault and BMW’s Nick Heidfeld use the system, which weighs 35 kilograms but can make up to 0.3 seconds difference a lap, primarily. Ferrari removed KERS from their cars following the Malaysian race, and both Brawn and Red Bull have chosen not to put the KERS technology into use in the car, possibly indicating that the benefits of the system are outweighed by the extra weight in the car.

One of the finest additions to the season has been off the track, with the coverage moving from ITV to BBC for the first time in 12 years. The lack of advertisements and the quality of the BBC’s sports programming shines through and creates a much better viewing experience than Formula 1 fans have been used to.

With Jake Humphrey presenting and the expert knowledge of pundit David Coulthard, who can gain access to practically anywhere at each circuit, allows for excellent broadcasting and an insight into the race experience.

The BBC have brought life to Formula 1’s coverage again, and viewers are enjoying both a better quality programme and a more exciting championship, something that is likely to continue with the race to claim the drivers’ title.

Jenson Button appears to be the forerunner, but Sebastian Vettel is driving well and if Lewis Hamilton can put the issues that have dogged his season behind him and find form in a car that also needs improving then he could stand a chance of retaining his title.

What is certain is that the sport is set to continue exciting audiences around the world with the same level of drama, strategic battles and impressive driving that has made the 2009 season one of the most intriguing in recent years.

32 SPORT

APRIL.27.2009 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

SPORT COMMENT

Newcastle out of Toon Chris Tarquini Sports Writer

THE FANS are still singing at Newcastle United FC, but recent results have been anything but music to their ears at St James’ Park.

Newcastle languish 19th in the table and are four points from safety with only one win since December.

With five managers in one season the Magpies have found relegation an increasingly distinct possibility - particularly disappointing for Geordie fans who five years ago were watching their side play Champions League Football.

To understand where it all went wrong one doesn’t need to look far.

Any club that wants to succeed needs a consistent long-term plan, an area in which Newcastle has undoubtedly failed.

Too often long-term success is ignored to achieve instant change. No manager has lasted more than two years at the club since Bobby Robson and it’s no coincidence that United’s demise began with the knee-jerk reaction that saw Robson sacked after a

slightly poor run of form in 2004.

In contrast the likes of Manchester United and Everton gave their full support to Alex Ferguson and David Moyes when they first began managing despite a hail of criticism. In building their squad on a soft foundation of ever changing, big-spending managers, Newcastle have laid the groundwork for the perfect storm of their current woes: injured players, consistently abused Goalkeepers and a seriously ill Joe Kinnear.

TOP FIVE...

Lions of '97

1.

Scott Gibbs was the “fastest prop” Guscott ever saw and the little fella packed a mighty punch too.

Too often longterm success is ignored to achieve instant change

TROUBLE IN THE RANKS: Fans call for change

Undoubtedly, Joey Barton’s conviction and the legendary Shay Given’s exit to cash-rich Manchester City has weakened a team fighting for their Premiership survival. New owner Mike Ashley’s ‘Cockney Mafia’ management team have charged through

managers Sam Allardyce, Kevin Keegan, Chris Hughton and Joe Kinnear in one season and the arrival of Alan ‘The Messiah’ Shearer has not been the immediate miracle that fans had hoped for.

The iconic Newcastle Number striker has himself admitted that his

2. side need three wins from their last five games and if they don’t they may lose their Premiership status.

The reality is that the mighty Magpies are looking at a year slumming it with Cardiff in the Championship.

For Newcastle fans in Cardiff - every cloud…

Keith Wood played like a man possessed. Tackling, running, kicking - the great man was never found wanting.

3.

Lions to out-fox the Boks Alasdair Robertson Sports Editor

LAST TUESDAY, Lions head coach Ian McGeechan announced his Lions squad ahead of this summer’s tour of South Africa.

With the Springboks being touted as the most physical side in world

rugby, it was perhaps a little surprising that the head coach opted for two Irish wild cards, the untested Keith Earls and the old war horse Alan Quinlan.

Although both are fierce competitors, they are of a noticeably small stature.

However, the decision could be another masterstroke by the wily Scotsman as both men have shown great form recently for Europe’s most

prominent club side, Munster. Both men will undoubtedly relish the opportunity to establish themselves at the summit of world rugby in perhaps the most inhospitable environment the game has to offer.

The inclusion of Quinlan proved to be the downfall of Welsh captain, Ryan Jones, the most high profile omission from the squad. Jones’s recent form has been indifferent at best.

His leadership skills have also come into question after the Ospreys' two heavy defeats to Gloucester and Munster as well as his below par performance in the Six Nations. Wales led against both France and Ireland yet failed to go on and consolidate their position, while the Ospreys have lacked direction and guidance in their matches. The Lions simply cannot afford such a man.

The Lions face a nation that will neither rate them nor respect them

LIONS: Pride of 2009 announced

One Welshman that has been included is Cardiff University’s very own Jamie Roberts. A string of good performances for Wales in this year’s Six Nations and some impressive per-

formances for the Cardiff Blues have seen the powerful 22-year old force his way into contention for the test side.

McGeechan has also resisted the temptation to pick players on reputation, a mistake made by Clive Woodward four years ago. A prime example of such thinking is the selection of Riki Flutey, a man that may well line up with Roberts in the centre at some point throughout the tour. Flutey has shown great form of late but a less adventurous coach may have picked Mike Tindall or opted for the injury prone Gavin Henson.

McGeechan has opted for the towering figure of Paul O’Connell as captain, a man of substance, pride and drive who will front up to the intimidating figures of Spies, Matfield, Botha and Burger. O’Connell will be chopping at the bit to compete against the two best locks in the world and will undoubtedly never take a back ward step in ensuring that the humiliation of four years ago is well and truly forgotten.

The Lions face a stiff challenge in a nation that will neither rate them nor respect them but they have picked a squad of substance over style and perhaps more importantly mind over matter.

In short, the pride of 2009 has the credentials to achieve the unthinkable, that is beating the World Champions in their own back yard.

Neil Jenkins lacked the pace (and the looks) of his fellow backs, but his metronomic kicking won the Lions the test series.

4.

Martin “Man Mountain” Johnson put his body on the line and led from the front. He never took a backward step - with that eyebrow he didn’t have to.

5.

John Bentley brought the players together and scored the best try of the tour to get the Lions back on track.

APRIL.27.2009 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

IMG ROUNDUP

SPORT 33

Josh Pettitt Sports Editor

Carbs 24-7 Sawsa CARBS CONTINUED their determined assault on the title with an assured win against Sawsa at Blackwier on Wednesday afternoon.

Carbs set the tone of the day with a massive hit from the kick off by Richard Clarke. Sawsa quickly rallied and secured some territory with a few raking kicks downfield while Carbs’s enthusiasm for the contact failed to impress the referee and, after some clumsy work at the breakdown by prop Charlie Smith, Sawsa were gifted with a few penalties deep inside Carbs’ half.

Sawsa sought to ride their momentum and confidently kicked for the corner but failed to secure their own lineout and Will Lemay put boot to ball and cleared his lines.

Once Carbs addressed their indisci-

pline they started to pose a real threat to Sawsa’s try line. The forwards took it up the centre and the backs fizzed into action. Dave Chapman looked set to go over out wide but spilled the ball in what looked to be a certain try.

Carbs quickly regrouped and Ben Spencer’s incisive pass put Daffyd Franklin into acres of space as he romped down the touch line. After evading what seemed to be half the Sawsa team Franklin was eventually dragged to the ground just short of Sawsa’s try line, but Sawsa’s scrambling defence couldn’t prevent him from offloading to Dave Spencer who crashed through two tacklers to score in the corner.

Sawsa couldn’t cope with Carbs’ pace and the flood-gates soon opened, with Franklin spearheading Carbs’ attack. Before the half time whistle Franklin sped past the hapless Sawsa defence to cross twice more.

Carbs sustained their assault on the Sawsa line in the second half and after the monstrous Carbs scrum, led by the indomitable Ross Phillips, turned Sawsa’s ball over, the ball sped

PHOTO: BEN WESLEY

CARBS get saucy Results Rugby 22.03.2009 Carbs..........P-P..........Stoma (Carbs awarded a walkover) Sawsa.......10-26........Engin Pharmacy....0-24...........Law IMG: Reaching for glory through the backline to winger Chapman who scythed through the Sawsa backline and looked sure to go in under the posts. But arrogance got the better of the ambitious Champan as he insisted on grounding the ball under the posts and was almost held up by a determined Sawsa defence, before frantically grounding the ball.

Carbs then rung the changes and the momentum of the game stuttered

somewhat with Sawsa regaining some parity in the contact area. Sawsa managed to salvage some pride when their very own man mountain barrelled his way over to end the game 24-7 to Carbs.

Carbs have one game left to secure top spot in the league, but with their next opponents Pharmacy also fairing well it looks to be an exciting fixture.

Team Talk: Liability FC What is your best achievement/ moment to date?

Dominating Economics on and off the pitch.

Who is your best player and

why?

Ollie Offredy – He has scored 11 more league goals than any other Liability player.

Is their any funny team banter?

Nearly getting arrested on our first social – Punch is our Kryptonite.

This year who are your biggest rivals?

What song best describes your team?

Opsoccer – because they know they will never be as good as us.

Gloria Gaynor. 'I Will Survive Remix' - “First we were afraid, we were petrified, kept thinking how we would lead without Grantley in our side, but then we spent so many games, just thinking how he did us wrong, we grew strong, and we learn how to turn Sauro on …”

Any teams you are looking forward to playing and why?

Any team Prima – donnas?

Which premiership team is your team most like and why?

Tosin O – he moans and cries over everything.

Who has the best nicknames?

Pampers – Hywel Lewis (he once pooed himself on his girlfriends bedroom floor.)

Captain STI – Keith Mowbray.

LIABILITY FC: Boys will be boys

Philosophy – we gate crashed two of their debating socials which resulted in them reporting us, and poached their key player, so it should make a good grudge match.

Bolton – Simple, long ball, and we will kick you.

If you would like to see your team in gair rhydd, please email us ay sport@gairrhydd.com

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Pharmacy....27-0.........Engin Bio Sci........8-8.........Stoma (Bio Sci win on conversions) Law............19-7.......Sawsa Pharmacy....22-7......Bio Sci Engin.........26-0........Stoma Carbs........33-12..........Law 22.04.2009 Carbs.........24-7.......Sawsa Stoma........7-10.......Stoma Engin..........3-0........Bio Sci

34 SPORT

APRIL.27.2009 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM

Bourne supremacy Oli Franklin Basketball Reporter

CARDIFF Men's 1sts...............93

PHOTO: OLI FRANKLIN

BOURNEMOUTH Men's 1sts....80

BASKETBALL: Reach for the stars

CARDIFF TIGERS ensured promotion to BUCS Western Conference 1A next year after winning a tough playoff battle away against Bournemouth.

It was the toughest but most important game of the season for Cardiff, whose undefeated season would have all been in vain with a loss, but after a tough and physical game Cardiff came out deservedly victorious to continue their undefeated season with only Varsity remaining.

Both teams came in to the game nervous but determined, their entire seasons building up to this crucial moment. Cardiff started strongly, with Ben Tumelty quickly converting a tough lay-up over his defender to take the lead. Cardiff were playing well in the 1st quarter, working the ball around and playing with their usual strong offensive style.

Bournemouth, who were visibly the bigger team, kept themselves in the game with some tough physical

play at both ends of the court. Cardiff looked to be slowly pulling away at the end of the 1st quarter though, as Rich Arnold grabbed one of his 10 assists with a cross court pass to Duncan Pitt, who sunk the shot and took a foul before converting the free throw to put Cardiff ahead by 6.

The 2nd quarter didn’t start well for Cardiff, as Bournemouth began to battle back into the game and take advantage of some lazy play by Cardiff at both ends of the court. Tempers started to fray and Cardiff soon appeared to be coming apart at the seams, with Bournemouth drawing level at the halfway point.

This continued early in the 3rd quarter as the determined Bournemouth took a 5-point lead, 52-47. A bewildered Cardiff were forced to call a timeout as changes needed to be made before their perfect season slipped away.

After a harsh team talk from playercoach Chris Thompson, Cardiff came out looking like their usual formidable selves. The home side powered forward with Ben Hughes and Thompson taking over in the paint to draw level with Bournemouth, who were rocked

by Cardiff’s superb resurgence.

Cardiff ended the 3rd quarter with a five-point lead. The highlight of the

quarter came as Rich Arnold fired a sweet alley-oop pass to Matt Garton, who caught the ball in the air and went under the basket for a tough reverse lay-up.

Tensions could not have been higher as the 4th quarter began, Cardiff thought they already had one hand on promotion. As they have done countless times this season, they somehow found another gear, putting on a performance in the last 10 minutes that was undoubtedly some of their best basket ball in an already stellar year.

Kritikos came roaring out, dropping three 3 pointers in quick succession.

Bournemouth seemed helpless, and could do little but foul as Cardiff made tough baskets again and again, then completely shut out Bournemouth on defence, collectively grabbing 8 of 10 steals in the 2nd half. As time winded down in the last minute, the Cardiff bench erupted as it became apparent their lead was insurmountable at 9380.

Matt Garton, playing through an injury to his shooting hand, led the scoring with 25 points and 10 rebounds. Ben Hughes added 16 and 15 rebounds.

With only Varsity left to play on the 29th, the 1sts will be hoping to maintain their unbeaten season.

Countdown to Varsity

As anticipation builds for the biggest event on the Cardiff sporting calendar, Sport looks back at last year's resounding victory and what can be expected from this year's showcase rugby match

Alasdair Robertson & Josh Petitt Sports Editors LAST YEAR'S Varsity proved to be one of the most successful in history. A capacity crowd at Cardiff

Arms Park witnessed an impressive Cardiff victory in the competition’s blue ribbon event, the rugby.

The electric atmosphere inside the ground rounded off what had been a fantastic day for athletes and support-

ers alike after Swansea brought a huge number of fans to rival the hosts’ supporters.

The ‘text-in banter’ added greatly to the event with such gems as “Give me an E, give me an E, give me a U, what do you get? Into Swansea Uni!” and “More STD’s than GCSE’s, that’s what Swansea’s got!”

Cardiff also retained their crown as Varsity Shield Champions with a resounding 18-3 victory in all fixtures.

Performances of note came in both the ladies’ and men’s hockey where both sides won by a staggering five goal margin.

The ladies’ rugby side also beat their green and white counterparts by a massive 76 point margin while the Cardiff netball side prevailed 69-21.

The ladies’ basketball team also won by a massive 72 points.

Swansea’s only three victories came in the freshers’ rugby, ladies squash and ladies fencing with the only draw coming in the golf tournament leaving Cardiff streets ahead on the final scoreboard.

Looking ahead to this year and expectations are already high for Cardiff to retain the Shield and maintain their dominance.

Cardiff Rugby team go into Varsity on the back of a poor run of form. After bolting out of the blocks early in the season and establishing themselves as promotion hopefuls, Cardiff have wheezed into mid-table finish after losing five of their last seven matches.

In contrast Swansea have played consistently well throughout and have built an impressive momentum to join the elite in the upper echelons of university rugby, winning six of their last

seven games.

Swansea will also fancy themselves to swipe the title after two consecutive close fought victories in the league, giving them a mental edge that might help them if the going gets tough.

Ultimately it comes down to one game on a patch of grass with two sets of fans baying for blood and demanding victory. Both teams are in with a chance of Varsity glory, but who will claim their place in Varsity history?

SPORT 35

APRIL.27.2009 SPORT@gairrhydd.COM James Lothian Shooting Reporter JAMES LOTHIAN, a second year student at Cardiff reading Biomedical Science with Anatomy, spent the Easter break in South Africa as a member of the senior England Full-Bore Rifle Team.

Full-bore rifle shooting, an outdoor sport, is a shooting discipline in which the shooter is firing at paper targets over distances between 300 and 1000 yards.

The team went out to South Africa to compete in their national championships, which this year celebrated the 80th Anniversary of the South Africa Bisley Union, the South African equivalent of the British National Rifle Association.

The event was also attended by teams present representing Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Channel Islands, USA, Namibia, Malaysia and of course South Africa.

The England team started their tour by travelling to a beautiful, picturesque range near Durban, in a town called Nottingham Road, where the team had a warm-up match against the Kwazulu-Natal provincial team.

The team then headed to Bloemfontein where the South African championships were shot.

England enjoyed several individual successes, and the team came 2nd and 3rd in the two main matches, placing behind very strong USA and South African teams.

This was Lothian’s first Senior tour, and he was one of only three Under 25’s on the 24-strong team. He is no stranger to overseas touring however, having previously shot in Canada in 2006 as a member of the British Cadet Rifle Team, and in South Africa in 2007 on the Great Britain Under 19 Rifle Team.

Lothian has also shot for the Great Britain Under 25 Team in home internationals for the past two years, and has recently been selected as Captain of the Great Britain Under 25 Rifle Team to compete in the World Championships in Brisbane in 2011.

Lothian is the current treasurer of the Cardiff University Rifle Club, who have enjoyed another successful small-bore season, with Captain Luke Stevens and Nadia Cracknell qualifying for the final of the BUCS individual competition up in Sheffield. Stevens placed 13th overall, and Cracknell came 14th, placing 2nd in the ladies competition.

If you would be interesting in joining the University Rifle Club or would like more information see the Cardiff University Rifle Club 2008 Facebook group.

Sharp shooter

SHOOTING: Tickets to the gun show?

Kings of the rink Flying high Thomas Martin Ice Hockey Reporter CARDIFF ENTERED this year’s Tier III national championships with high hopes of regaining the title they won two years ago, even though only two of those players still remain on the team.

They got off to a perfect start beating the Edinburgh Beagle’s 2-0. The Redhawks then beat Northumbria C, Manchester and Newcastle White to secure a semi-final spot before the final group game against reigning champions Nottingham C. Nonetheless, Cardiff had a point to prove against the only side that had beaten them so far this year.

They had an opportunity to take revenge as a win would see the defending champions out of the competition and allow the Edinburgh Beagle’s a spot in the semis.

The Cardiff squad battled through a tough game and shut out Nottingham

ICE HOCKEY: Sharp shooters

1-0, with the only goal coming from the stick of Jiri Podval after a pinpoint pass from Fraser Lewis ensuring they would have home ice advantage in the semis.

So Cardiff went into the semi-finals with a perfect record, where the prechampionship and home favourites, the Sheffield Bears, awaited them.

Cardiff took the lead through a goal from Jim Towers, but Sheffield equalised through a deflected shot, which found its way into the back of the net.

With the scores level at the final buzzer it was down to a sudden death penalty shootout.

Neither team scored with their first two shots, until Cardiff’s Chris Kirkham stepped up and scored top glove side, meaning that if Tom Martin stopped Sheffield’s attempt Cardiff would be through to the final.

Fortunately, the netminder stood tall and stopped the shot to send Cardiff through to the final.

The Warwick Panthers awaited the Redhawks in the final, a replay of the

third place play-off from the previous year. Cardiff were up against it, only having a brief interval to rest their bodies and nerves after their dramatic semi-final win.

The Welsh side took the lead after six minutes, after a brilliant effort from Jon Griffiths seeing him skate almost the whole length of the ice to score. Warwick recovered and replied with two quick goals to lead 2-1.

The Redhawks eventually managed to equalise through Jim Towers with about five minutes left only for Warwick to take the lead once more, as two of their players crashed into the back of the net along with the puck.

With time running out and Warwick with a 3-2 lead the Panthers continued to press the Cardiff goal, until Jim Towers broke out with the puck and found the stick of Matt Wood, who battled through two defenders and slotted the puck past the Warwick keeper with just five seconds left in the game to tie it 3-3.

Again the match was to be decided by penalty shots and much like the first shoot-out both teams missed their first two shots.

Cardiff’s Tom Martin continued his good form by stopping all three Warwick shots, leaving Griffiths with the chance to crown Cardiff champions.

Dramatically, he took the puck wide to the left then cut towards the goal, deeked around the netminder and calmly slotted the puck into the back of the net sparking off celebrations from the Redhawks bench as they won their second title of the year so far.

TRAMPOLINING: Raise the roof

Lizzie Mansell Trampolining Reporter CARDIFF UNIVERSITY Trampoline Squad became international champions when they competed for the first time overseas in the Irish Student Trampoline Open (ISTO).

Over 400 students from 37 universities across Great Britain and Ireland assembled in Dublin to compete for the shield. The day saw numerous successes for the Cardiff squad, with medals won across the team.

Medal winners for Cardiff included Laura Price and Jenny Novy who took an amazing joint second place at Intermediate Level. Craiger Solomons was awarded a gold medal in the Advanced Men’s category with Darryl Patterson achieving seventh place.

Jessica Phipps just missed out on a medal, landing fourth place in the Inter-advanced category while Maxine Harle and Beth Stevenson followed closely behind in ninth and eleventh

places out of a total of 60 competitors.

Despite the huge number of competitors and the high standard of performance, Cardiff University came out on top, winning the shield for best overall club performance, and piping Warwick and Southampton to the post.

Women’s captain Jess Phipps commented: “It’s been an amazing day, we’re so thrilled to have won. Congratulations to everyone who took part”.

Victory at ISTO demonstrates the extent of the team’s enthusiastic spirit as well as the team effort put in over the past few weeks from all involved.

Training and coaching as preparation as well as their concentration and determination shown on the day itself.

The Cardiff Trampoline squad are now hoping to build on their successes and have started training for their next competition, the Southampton Open, where they expect to face fierce competition on May 3rd.

Sport gairrhydd

INSIDE: BUCS Championship reports, the future of IMG & The Word On Formula 1

VARSITY Comprehensive reports and analysis in next week's gair rhydd

THE SPORTING EVENT OF THE YEAR HAS ARRIVED Preview page 34

BLADES OF FURY

Liz Wray Sports Editor CARDIFF...................................3 SWANSEA.................................1 LAST WEDNESDAY saw the fifth annual Welsh Boat Race that kicked off Varsity 2009. Cardiff went into the meet as favourites after a four-year winning streak over national rivals Swansea.

Cardiff were victorious in the first

PHOTO: CATRIN DAVIES

Cardiff win 3 out of 4 races to kick off Varsity 2009

three of the day’s races winning each one comfortably by more than a boat length, with the novice men performing particularly well after an impressive start.

The most anticipated race of the day was the senior men, with Swansea looking determined to avenge their previous four defeats. Cardiff also looked confident off the back of a strong head season, culminating in an excellent result at the Head of the River Race in London.

After completing three quarters of

the course the crews were neck-andneck but some aggressive coxing caused a blade clash and the marshals called for a re-start.

The re-row did nothing to deter either crew and both squads appeared more determined than ever to claim the opening Varsity points. The race took much the same course as the first with Cardiff taking the lead from the start and holding Swansea off for the majority of the race.

However, Swansea appeared relentless and continued to push the strong

Cardiff boat. Again the race became a battle of the coxes as the crews looked inseparable. Both coxes held their line firm as neither was prepared to give the other room.

Ultimately though the experience in the Swansea stern gave them the advantage as they pulled into Cardiff who were racing a contentious line. A vicious blade clash had more effect on Cardiff’s stride as Swansea edged ahead at the final hurdle, winning by less than a length to end their losing streak in the competition. Cardiff

Men's Captain, Gareth Crossley told gairrhydd he was "happy with Cardiff's performance and we were the quicker crew throughout.

Unfortunately the clash did not end in our favour. " After the first close finish ever the event will now become a more anticipated date in the rowing calendar as Swansea raised the bar and proved they can match the Cardiff crews. The 2010 race will undoubtedly be closely fought as both squads now feel they have something to prove.

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