Heteronormativity and Homophobia

This piece is written by two contributors who explore the subject of heteronormativity and homophobia, how ingrained the former is into our institutions, and how we can unlearn the two to foster a more loving and accepting society.

words by: Amy Leadbitter

Heteronormativity is the idea that heterosexuality is the only normal and natural form of sexual orientation. This idea is accompanied by concepts of gender binarism, gender essentialism, and cisnormativity. In simple words, it is based on the assumption that there are only two distinct genders, male and female, and all kinds of sexual and marital relations are most fittingto them. This follows the perpetuation of gender norms, sexual identities, and stereotypes. This standardisation of opposite sex relations as the only acceptable way of gender expression reinforces the idea that anyone who does not follow this line is going through a “phase” and needs correcting.

But does that mean heteronormativity is synonymous with homophobia? Homophobia is the fear, discomfort, mistrust and prejudice against people who are LGBTQ+. This might happen through something as subtle as considering someone’s gender expression “unnatural”, or through more aggressive acts such as calling people names or unleashing direct hatred and abuse. Dr Herek, professor of Psychology at the University of California, describes heterosexism as an ideological system that denies, denigrates and stigmatizes any non-heterosexual form of behaviour, identity, relationship, and community. This term could be seen as analogous to systemic sexism or systemic racism.

Just like racism and sexism, heteronormativity pervades societal customs and institutional ideologies. Heteronormative assumptions are ubiquitous in daily social interactions where people routinely face and habitually reinforce gender norms. To quote Dr Herek, “heteronormativity is the lens through which the world is viewed and, importantly, through which evaluated and judged”. It is not only prevalent in social communications but is also ingrained in educational, legal, political, economic and religious institutions, and socio-legal practices that promote gender binarism. Heteronormativity carries consequences for people belonging both outside of the sphere as well as for the ones inside. It creates a division between people who are straight and the ones who aren’t, meaning division between ‘normal’ heterosexual people and ‘abnormal’ LGBTQ+ individuals. These divisions not only lead to stigmatization, but they become a tool for mockery and discrimination. The alarming rate of homophobic hate crimes taking place is evidence of prevalent hatred in the wider society. People inside the heteronormative sphere remain under the constant pressure of remaining inside it, which prevents them from exploring their desires and following anything out of the norm.

However, it is important to separate heterosexuality from heteronormativity. Heteronormative assumptions enable homophobic behaviour rooted in stereotypes and gender norms. Challenging heteronormativity means challenging the idea that there are only two natural ways of being. The firststep that heterosexual people could take towards supporting the queer community would be to think beyond the gender binary and reject the idea of natural or normal gender. This would create a space for greater acceptability of different sexual orientations

It is also important to disown the preconceived gender norms and stereotypes. A good way to start this could be by practicing gender-inclusive language. For example, instead of asking people about a husband or wife, ask about their partner. Lend patience and a sympathetic ear when people talk about their sexual orientation, gender identity, and struggles with coming out. Reflectingand teaching oneself through the experiences of people who went through the identity struggle is a great way to learn. Most importantly, never indulge in any kind of homophobic behaviour or accept it around you. It is quite encouraging to see growing acceptability for different genders however, discrimination, prejudice and hate crimes still exist. It is, therefore, important to acknowledge and support the minorities around us and lead towards a diverse and inclusive society.

words by: Shivika Singh Heteronormativity is present in every aspect of our lives- from family, to gender roles, to sex, relationships, jobs, and laws. One of the biggest difficultie with heteronormative thinking is that heterosexuality is the only ‘normal’ sexuality and if other sexualities do exist, they are variations of the default. This type of thinking is everywhere. I remember seeing a wedding picture of two brides on a Facebook post and reading a comment underneath along the lines of, “oh, how cute! I want a double wedding with my best friend!” Even on their wedding day, these two women were presumed to be friends first

We see this a lot in the media where LGBTQ+ representation is scarce. Most male and female friendships have some kind of lingering romance behind it, but when LGBTQ+ fans point to potential romantic feelings between two same-sex friends they are labelled as mistaken or pushing an agenda. This accusation happens despite them often having more legitimacy in terms of chemistry, (I’m looking at you, BBC Sherlock.) This kind of representation impacts everyday life, where everyone is presumed to be straight until told otherwise. Men are asked about wives or girlfriends, women asked about boyfriends or husbands, and children are asked where their mummy and daddy are. Don’t get me started on asking children if their opposite-sex friend is their boyfriend/ girlfriend at 6 years old. This kind of socialisation creates feelings of discomfort or alienation for LGBTQ+ people who end up having to “come out” to explain that their sexual orientation isn’t heterosexual. It makes LGBTQ+ people feel excluded, invisible, and ostracised, as if their sexuality is somehow less than.

There are also the gender expectations rooted in sexism which expect us to fulfillmasculine and feminine roles in each relationship. Any gay couple can attest to this when they have been asked “who’s the man of the relationship?” Being LGBTQ+ upsets the gender roles that society has created, where a masculine man is the breadwinner, strong and strict with children, and a feminine woman who is the nurturing, emotional force of the relationship. It alludes to the heteronormative idea that there must always be these opposing forces of masculinity and femininity in order to impose gender roles of heterosexuality. How is this linked to homophobia and hate? It establishes a norm, and an “us vs them” mentality that excludes and punishes those who do not fulfillheteronormative expectations. This can lead to attacks, discrimination, erasure, and ignorance. Homophobia is merely the extreme end of heteronormative thoughts and behaviours, the real beast to tackle is the heteronormative belief systems we have all been socialised towards.

We must constantly catch our own attitudes and thoughts and call out those of others. When we see two samesex people at dinner, we must stop our brain telling us they are simply friends. When we see a wedding ring on a woman, we must stop ourselves from asking about a husband. When we talk to our teens about the future, we must stop specifying the gender of their potential future partner. We have to keep re-educating ourselves to make the world a more accepting place for all and eradicate not only homophobia, but also the heteronormative ideas that produce such hatred. Ultimately, with enough unpacking, education, and awareness, we can make our society a more judgement-free and accepting place for all.

design by: Ersila Bushi