Quench - Issue 41

Q U E N C H QUENCH.GAIRRHYDD.COM > VOL 4.41 > SEPT 18 2006

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D IA N G UA R N T E D U ST E A Z IN M AG E H T OF YEAR

WELCOME TO CARDIFF

WE MEET DOCTOR WHO DAVID TENNANT & CO. TALK TO US

Q&A WITH DANNY DYER FILM JOINS THE SEVERANCE CAST

THE DATING GAME BE ONE STEP AHEAD WITH BLIND DATE

EDITORIAL the gair rhydd magazine

04 07 08 10 12 14 15 16 19 24 31 33 34 37 38

Best Student Publication 2005

Best Student Magazine 2005

OTP: The DeVille you know Debate: Know yourself Interviews: Who are ya?

Features: The time of your life Fashion: A cut above the rest Food: Fill your little tum right up Gay: Revealing your CD collection Travel: Summer hols Music: Cardiff’s moosic scene Film: Snnnnnakes on your screens Books: Finding your cup of tea Arts: There’s art in your heart Going Out: Where to go out, like Blind date: Pull the other one Backchat: Satan for non-welshies

Q U E N C H Editor Sophie Robehmed Executive editor Perri Lewis Assistant to the Editors Elaine Morgan Arts Kim O’Connor, Rebecca Child Books Daisy Beare Columnists Gareth Paisey Cult Classics Tom Brooks Debate Caleb Woodbridge Fashion Liz and Matt Features Amy Harrison, Ben Bryant Film Ewen Hosie, Ryan Owen, Si Truss Food Joanne Grew Going Out Kayleigh Excell, Rachel Clare Interviews Amira Hashish, Nicola Menage Music Mike Richards, Sofie Jenkinson, Will Hitchins OTP Grace De Ville Photography Adam Gasson, James Perou, Will Dean Travel Chris Rogers, Jim Whiteley Proof Readers Kate Dobbs, Catherine Gee, Chris White Cover design Sophie Robehmed Thought of the week: Merde, this is actually happening...but wait, I have breasts.

QUENCH@GAIRRHYDD.COM

QED

A

ugust is a bad choice. Not only is it the month that tells us that summer is over and winter is so painfully nigh, but it’s also host to the most socially awkward event of the year, every year.

Results day.

This is the day where good ‘ol Susie Smug blinds you with her gummy smile upon her acceptance into Cambridge (six A-levels at grade ‘A’ is OK, she guffaws) and where Dwayne Dense is snotting everywhere from tears, tears of joy, as he is on his way to Real Life Institute having passed Tourism and Events at Grade E. He is yet to realise his campus is set inside a prison. It’s of course when most of us dread the ‘what did you get?’ question that is chucked around in sheer Cilla Black-style (except everyone already knows your name and where you come from).

And it’s when the rest of them cry uncontrollably so that their friend opens their results and they go to the pub where their peers claim to be the drunkest they’ve ever been, when you know this is false by your finger tips still honking of their tuna chunk vom that you pushed down the sink hole only the other day, which fills you with the most inopportune feeling of anticlimax. Or was that just me?

Whichever way you experienced your results, it is important for you to realise that you’ve overcome the hardest part. You have reached Cardiff and you must trust me when I tell you that you’re going to love it here.

Besides, freshers’ frivolities are capable of being the most carefree, fun-filled days of your university career and you are staring them in the face. Right now. It’s the only time that you will talk to countless people and about such taboo subjects as killing chavs and how opposing genders approach masturbation. Again, maybe that was just me.

But as Earth, Wind And Fire once sang: ‘Ba de ya, say do you remember / Ba de ya, dancing in September / Ba de ya, never was a cloudy day.’ I’m almost certain that you’ll concur with the seasonal soul sensations that September is a lot better than August.

THREE

ONE TRICK PONY

Flag-ging Grace de Ville, the new keeper of One Trick Pony, about why she’s tired of football-based patriotism

D

uring the world cup “fever” I was safely tucked away in Cardiff, oblivious (alright, ignorant) to the mass hysteria gripping nearby England. It was only when it dawned upon me that I had no money and nowhere to live did I admit defeat and call Father to come and rescue me.

I’d just like to mention at this point that it is possible to live on nothing but flour and water for a week. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it, unless you favour the physique of a bloated corpse and wish your entire epidermis to resemble Ricky Tomlinson’s nose.

Anyway, scurvy aside, I returned to England to be confronted by a fate worse than severe malnutrition and destitution: patriotism in its most concentrated form. There were flags everywhere. And I mean everywhere: sticking out of cars, bars and bras; painted on faces; emblazoned on shirts and draped across windows. My personal favourite displays include the two charming life-size Labrador sculp-

tures finished off quite wonderfully with St George’s Cross cloaks.

Pimp my Garden Statue was obviously in full swing.

And then when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I bumped into a teenage girl sporting full England regalia while she balanced her ashtray on her heavily pregnant belly.

The whole country was red and white and it made me feel sick.

“

Pimp my Garden Statue was obviously in full swing Why is it that after three years of living in what is probably the most proud country in the entire world (Wales, in case you were wondering) that such overt displays of patriotism in England disturbed me?

Whether you’re new to Cardiff or have lived here all your life; one thing you’ll have noticed is that the national flag doesn’t half get

Grace de Ville *Not actually her

around. It’s everywhere, all the time, and this doesn’t bother me a jot. In fact, I like seeing it. When Glyn from Big Brother exited the house swathed in a Welsh flag and Rhodri Morgan’s message of support was read out I even got a bit tearful. And I’m from Derby.

The only time that English people ever give a toss about their country is when a sporting event is taking place, most prolifically football. As a result of this the St George’s cross has become synonymous with the game and not representative of England as a whole. It has weaved itself into the fabric of football culture and all of its connotations and stereotypes, both negative and positive.

But now the mania has subsided and the flags are back in the attic, I feel rather sad. If you’ve ever left home for any significant length of time, you start to notice not only what has changed since you were last there but also the things which make a place what it is. By “home” I am of course referring to the place where you grew up; the place which you loathe for eighteen years yet feel strangely attached to every time you return. I’ve finally admitted to myself that I’m patriotic- but I’m not going to tell anyone about it.

DOG: Yet another fair-weather supporter

FOUR

ONETRICKPONY@GAIRRHYDD.COM

ONE TRICK PONY

Legend: Brian Blessed

F

or many years now, I’ve sung the praises of Brian Blessed with no one but my housemates, my cat and the odd tramp to hear my words of admiration. But now I that have the chance to spread the love, by jingo I’m going to spread it thickly.

Brian Blessed has been blessed with not only an incredible acting and mountaineering talent but also a voice like the bellow of a thousand aristocratic hack-lunged miners performing an opera. In a large cave.

While high on laughing gas. I just can’t begin to imagine what it’d be like to hear his dulcet tones every morning, asking you how you’d like your eggs or if you want the bits strained out of your orange juice.

Every question would be followed by a hearty “ho, ho ho”. Brilliant.

BRIAN: Good at beards, no good with guns Brian, if you’re reading this, please open a bed and breakfast.

Tosser: Fidel Castro

W

hile Brian Blessed is a champion for bearded folk the world over, Fidel Castro shames the lot of them.

There are many politicians old and new who bring disrepute to the facial hair-sporting community (see also: Gerry Adams) but I’ve chosen Fidel since he’s about to croak it (or could well have done by the time this goes to print) and therefore can’t come and get me if I say his beard is stupid. How can you take someone seriously if their face is covered in something in patchy black candyfloss?

Fiddy is the yang to Brian’s glossy face-mane. If you’re going to wear a beard, you may as well do it properly.

(OVERRATED) iNVISIBLE CRUST BREAD At home this weekend I was looking to make a sandwich. I went to the larder, pulled out the nearest loaf and took a couple of slices. There was something strange about this bread. It was albino bread. It had no crusts. It looked utterly bizarre. According to Mr Hovis, the Invisible Crust bread has all the nutritional value of their ‘normal’ white bread, and is a godsend to the 35% of parents who remove crusts from their children’s sandwiches. That’s super, but it just looked so weird. So keep the crusts, chop them off if needs be. But let’s not resort to funny-looking loaves.

EXTRA BIG PENCILS The people at NUS sent us a pencil in promotion of the new Extra cards. But this blue pencil is no ordinary free pencil. It is a GIANT blue pencil. Impractically oversized, but just too cool for school. It is utterly suited for making notetaking in lectures significantly more entertaining, or for poking/bashing/wholloping your neighbour when they steal your Smarties. Extra big pencils are multipurpose tools that deserve to be seen protruding from many more handbags.

And the more free ones the better. Experience a giant pencil and you will come to understand how size does matter.

(UNDERRATED)

FIDDY: Bad at beards, better with guns

ONETRICKPONY@GAIRRHYDD.COM

FIVE

ONE TRICK PONY

Amber Duval sex laws for the jilted generation

This week Amber reminisces over her disease-riddled Freshers’ week

H

orny first years get a lot out of Freshers’ week. There’s the chance to wank freely over downloaded porn (I hear all rooms in halls now have the interweb) without fear of your mum popping in and the chance to add another STI to the collection.

It’s all too easy to get the clap these days: every Tom, Dick and Harry’s got one and during Freshers’ week they’re flying around like nits in a school. If you want to get your rocks off without having anything valuable drop off in the process you’ve got to be pretty darn careful.

I don’t rely solely on condoms anymore after the incident with the acidic Indian lube and the Italian.

And anyway, if your on-top style is a

little too rough it’ll break: you’ll be walking to that GUM clinic like John Wayne. Femidoms aren’t that much better: they may be an alternative way of keeping your minge rot-free, but the fact you feel like a pikey using a Tesco bag as a johnny doesn’t do much to aid an orgasm.

There are so many warts etc. kicking around these days that not even a bit of finger-licking good pussy fun is safe anymore. I wouldn’t trust an unprotected gash as far as I could throw it: they collect germs fasters than a bucket full of cheese. You’ve got to invest in a dental dam (essentially clingfilm for the fanny) if you’re planning on flicking anyone’s bean this term.

I find that the best way to avoid

the clap is to do one of two things: either rely on Ann Summers (not the bi-curious Northerner from House Y) to help you out electronically, or head for the horny-looking geeks in Solus. You’ll spot them on the side of the dance floor, wishing they could grind to the latest R ‘n’ B tosh and picking their ears. Yes, they might have a face full of pus-filled buboes but the infection hasn’t reached down south yet. After a night of pillow fun with one of these ones you won’t be reaching for the vaginal itching spray later on in the term.

And anyway, you’ll be able to use a couple of condoms at a time because they’ll have so many left over from their year nine sex education.

DEBATE Does starting university mean that it’s time to grow up?

Yes

No

Amy Harrison

W

ake up… head hurts… alarm clock on floor…

10.30am…. alarm clock batteries also on floor... switch on TV... Neighbours... it’s either 1:45pm… Doctors next… or… it’s 5.35pm… nearly time to go out again. Your lecture has finished… shame… reach for the pint of water and paracetemol... lie back… get comfy… watch TV. For many of you, this year at university will be your first opportunity to do what you want, when you want. So: switch off your alarm and snuggle back down, because you can; splash out on doubles at last orders, courtesy of your student loan, because you can; buy a pint of milk in your dressing gown, because you can.

It is worth remembering that your first year of carefree living could also be your last. Once the first year is over, it all goes downhill. The second year demands minimal work, but brings with it bills and landlords, while the third year is spent doing 12 hour stints in the library in a vain attempt to bump up your average grade to a 2.1.

So: ride in shopping trolleys at 4am; steal as many traffic cones as you can; watch Neighbours twice a day, every day; count the salad in your greasy kebab as your recommended daily intake of fruit and veg; reward yourself with a pint for every lecture you attend; reward yourself with three pints for every lecture you miss; spend hours playing spider solitaire; eat your cereal out of a saucepan; drink tea from a gravy boat; make the most of every minute.

If all this is still not enough to sway you to a life of student slobbery, remember this: you only need 40% to pass your first year. So, bring on a year of spontaneity, frivolity and snakebite; it’s going to amuse the grandkids far more than recitals from The Canterbury Tales.

DEBATE@GAIRRHYDD.COM

I

Caleb Woodbridge

f you believe the hype, then student life is all about daytime television and pasta meals, getting lashed and getting laid. Even some lecturers seem to expect that this is how students will live. But how can we sell ourselves so short as to buy in to this myth and continue to peddle it?

It isn't just student life that is undersold, but adulthood.

Growing up is seen as growing dull. Responsibility is seen as a burden to be endured; working life is seen as a hardship rather than a source of satisfaction.

Many students seem to see university as the last great chance to embrace childishness; a time to enjoy adult privileges without responsibility. Take sex as an example. I remember once reading some advice to freshers: “Get as much sex as you can while you're young and fit and able to easily get laid.” Never mind about romance or building meaningful relationships that could last for years, even a lifetime then, just brief and meaningless pleasures.

Don’t settle for cheap thrills. Why not become a volunteer, write for this paper, join a political party, search for love, seek the truth about life, or something else that is a step into the exciting world of adulthood, rather than obsess over childhood cartoons, or have another piss up?

Most of us know there's more to student life than reality TV, but wouldn't it be great if the reputation of students, or better yet, the expectation of students wasn’t lazing around but changing the world? Not television, but revolution? Not childishness, but taking the adult world by storm?

Have fun as a student, yes, but don't let the small pleasures of irresponsibility distract you from the far greater joys of growing up. Don’t believe the hype - student life can be so much more.

SEVEN

INTERVIEWS

The Doctor will see you now Caleb Woodbridge meets Russell T Davies, David Tennant and the team behind Wales’s TV-superhit, Doctor Who

S

omething strange has been happening to Cardiff. In recent months we have seen the city transform from the Highlands of Scotland to a space station in the year five billion. The cause of this phenomenon is the return of Doctor Who to our television screens, filmed in and around the capital by BBC Wales.

Star of the show David Tennant has enjoyed filming in Cardiff. “It’s been great,” he said. “In London people are so hacked off with film crews, but everyone in Wales is so pleased to see us.”

Despite new found TV fame, David is not lured by Hollywood. “I’ve never had a Soviet five-year plan for my career! Television is taking over… people like Russell T Davies, Paul Abbott, Andrew Davies and Tony Marchant are writing some amazing stuff.”

The star of Doctor Who may love Cardiff, but why has the new series exchanged London for South Wales as the aliens’ landing ground of choice?

Show-runner, Russell T Davies, has the answer.

“Hooray for gair rhydd!” he booms when approached. He begins reminiscing about his days doing

EIGHT

postgraduate study in Cardiff and says: “You never know, you can study in Cardiff and end up writing Doctor Who!” The Swansea-born writer was the brains behind such critically acclaimed dramas as Queer as Folk, The Second Coming and Casanova, and was recently awarded the Dennis Potter Award for Outstanding Television Writing at the BAFTAs. So why was Doctor Who revived in Cardiff?

“That was me, partly. I knew Wales, and I knew Julie Gardner, and I wouldn’t have necessarily been happy making Doctor Who in London,” he reveals.

“The BBC has also been pushing production out of London generally.”

A new drama empire is emerging under Julie Garner, Head of Drama at BBC Wales, one of the fruits of the BBC’s efforts to move production and investment out of London and into the nations and regions. As well as producing Doctor Who, her network commissions for BBC Wales include high-profile dramas such as Life on Mars and Casanova.

More shows are on the way from BBC Wales, including Torchwood, a post-watershed science-fiction crime thriller spin-off (try saying that three times fast) from Doctor Who, featuring Captain Jack, played by John Barrowman. It’s also the reason the TARDIS will not land in Cardiff this series of Doctor Who. The Torchwood team will be based in Cardiff

Bay, “so we can show off the city with Torchwood!,” says Russell.

To house these new developments BBC Wales has just built Camelot, a new studio complex which will be home to Doctor Who and Torchwood, with plenty of room to spare. The studios have facilities for production, post-production and filming all on one site, and is a long-term investment in Welsh drama.

“

You can study in Cardiff and end up writing Doctor Who! The revival of Doctor Who has achieved many things. But Russell T Davies wants the show’s contribution to Wales to be celebrated. “I’m proud of it!” he said. “It’s a huge industry now.” BBC Wales are busy nurturing new talent, he said, “giving eight placements to do 12 months in the design department.” Of all Doctor Who’s achievements, it’s the show’s contribution to Wales that he feels is most undervalued. “It’s created work for hundred of people in South Wales.

Literally, hundreds. Seriously, I think that’s amazing and I don’t think it’s recognised enough.”

With Torchwood hitting our screens in October, series three of Doctor Who already commissioned and a commitment to developing new talent, you don’t need to travel by TARDIS to see a bright future for drama in Wales.

INTERVIEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM

INTERVIEWS

Look who’s talking

Actors, comedians and rockstars: Interviews look back on the highlights of last year. Here’s what a few of them had to say...

I can see why it’s appealing to live at home but it’s equally thrilling to stand on your own and grapple with lifes complex situations.

Sarah Jessica Parker will always be a city girl at heart.

Interview by Catherine Gee in Quench Vol 3. 17.

You need to be crazy to stand on stage and say “heres what I think’s funny.... what do you think?”

You said it, Patrick Kielty.

Interview by Amira Hashish in gair rhydd, issue 798.

The people I know who are the most rock ‘n’ roll are those city boys who work in the bank week in week out... what’s left for musicians? We’re just boring.

Will The Feeling’s Dan Gillsapiie-Sells be ditching the band for the bank?

Interview by Amira Hashish in Quench Vol 3.40.

I find acting quite ridiculous.

I get the giggles a lot.

Noel Fielding of The Mighty Boosh. Hmm, you would never have guessed.

Interview by Will Dean in Quench Vol 3.17.

Ive been DJing in Cardiff all my career in places like Liqiud, the Forum and Creation. I love the city.

Tim Westwood: The ‘diff’s number one fan. Interview by Dominic Woolf in Quench Vol 3.33.

It’s strange enough going to sleep and waking up in Sunderland, let alone another country.

Matt of Arctic Monkeys often gets confused.

Interview by Greg Cochrane in Quench Vol 3.31.

?

Like what you see? Check out the views of The Goo Goo Dolls, We are Scentists, The Peep Show guys, plus many others in the forthcoming interviews in gair rhydd and Quench

It’s not that hard to make a feature film.

Speak for yourself, Scott Ryan.

Interview by Ryan Owen in Quench Vol 3.40.

INTERVIEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM

NINE

FEATURES

Memoirs of a fresher Before arriving at Cardiff University as a fresher I had never cooked before, never used a washing machine, and had never actually visited the city. I was a little daunted by what to expect, but all my anxieties were far outweighed by my excitement, says Amy Harrison Moving Day

A

s I set off along the M4 with my bare essentials squeezed into my dad’s old banger, roof box and trailer, my biggest fear was for my bedroom. Everything I knew about my new home in Talybontwas informed by the residences brochure.

This showed the flats as having big desks, lots of shelves and blue kitchens.

Opening my bedroom door for the first time was a relief. Just like the photo, my new desk was big and there were lots of shelves. The rest of the room was practically perfect. I say ‘practically’ on account of the wardrobe. Indeed, the desk was a

“

Every night the place would resound with the same questions: “Name? Hometown?

Course?”

Fitting in all of Amy’s clothes was a bit of a hassle

TEN

lovely size, but it wouldn’t have hurt to have knocked a few inches off and extended the wardrobe.

Opening the door to my en-suite I understood why the brochure failed to add pictures of the bathroom; it was far too compact. It was possible to sit on the toilet, have a shower and brush your teeth all at the same time.

My room was quickly dwarfed as the contents of my car, trailer and roof box were unloaded. To escape the claustrophobia I headed to the blue kitchen to unpack my kitchenware.

As I unpacked my brand new set of saucepans I met my first flatmate.

After the initial inquiries: name, hometown, course, she mentioned she wasn’t staying, and that she wasn’t moving in properly until Saturday.

I had arrived on the Wednesday, the very first opportunity to move in: naivély I had assumed that everyone else would do the same. Immediately I was disappointed with my unenthusiastic flatmates, but I had no fear as I planned to go knocking on neighbouring flats in search of new friends.

The First Night

A

s it happened there were two of us in our flat that first night. As the official freshers’ events didn’t begin until the Saturday, we headed to the Social Centre in Talybont North where I met some of my flatmate’s school friends.

By the end of the night I thought I had made life-long friends (even though I have never seen/spoken to some of them since).

For those first few nights the Social was ‘the’ place to be. Every night the place would resound with the same questions: “Name? Hometown?

Course?” It would take about 15 minutes to get from the bar to our table, mainly because of the crowds, but also because you were guaranteed to make at least four new friends on the short journey. Sadly, the Social quickly lost its appeal on discovery of the Blackweir, the Woody and the Taf.

Full House

B

y Sunday all my flatmates had arrived. The flat was buzzing with life as we all sat around getting to know each other. The kitchen was hectic; no one dared to open the cupboards for fear of eight sets of saucepans falling onto them.

Although a few of my new flatmates confessed they were nervous about making friends, we were all quickly at ease with each other. It wasn’t long before we were going into each others rooms without knocking and saying: “It feels like we’ve known each other for years, not days.” Eight total strangers had been forced together, and amazingly we all got on really well (at least until the dirty plates started to mount up).

FEATURES@GAIRRHYDD.COM

FEATURES

Hands in the air while dancing: revolutionary

The not-so-Lazy Days thought Freshers’ week was all about partying, I never imagined it would entail 9am starts and queuing.

I seriously believe I spent just as much time queuing as I did drinking, and I definitely did my fair share of drinking.

First I had to queue for central enrolment, then school enrolment, then subsidiary module enrolment, and then there were the queues for NUS cards and loan cheques.

Although the queuing was tedious it was a great chance to meet more new people. In every queue the same three questions rolled out again, and I replied with the same three answers: “Amy; Hertfordshire; English Literature.”

The 9am starts were hell; after all I was never going to leave a party early just to ensure I had a clear head for a morning of queuing. If lecturers insisted you enrol at 9am during Freshers’ week, then they obviously don’t expect you to be compos mentis.

Once enrolment was over, me and my flatmates headed to the various Freshers’ fayres. The first of the week was the business fayre. I didn’t really understand what it was all about (and still don’t), but in return for my email address I was given a lot of free stuff: bread, notepads, shampoo, and the obligatory condoms.

I

FEATURES@GAIRRHYDD.COM

Over the next few days the Great Hall was manic with the societies and AU fayres. I was a little scared by the people running around as vikings and the ‘funky-arse disco dancers’ who were strutting their stuff for all to see.

There really was something for everyone, whether it was extreme sports, juggling or even just watching Neighbours.

“

By the end of the night I thought I had made life-long friends (even though I have never seen/spoken to some of them since) Hazy Nights

have to admit that the nights of Freshers’ week are a bit of a blur.

The official events began on the first Saturday with a night called Who the F*** are you?

Every track that was belted out was an absolute tune. As we danced the night away to the Foundations, Queen and Bon Jovi we were repeatedly singled out as first years. We were later informed that this was because we clung to the edge of the dance floor and were slightly restrained in our dancing.

I

When it came to the Traffic Light Party a few nights later, we were in the thick of it raving it up with glow sticks, all inhibitions lost. The glow stick idea was ingenious: green for go and red for no. A few of us blagged one of each, so we could be a little bit picky.

The week was rounded off with the Freshers’ Ball. This caused great concern about what to wear. There was a complete mix: ball gowns and denim skirts, tuxedos and jeans. The ball was graced with the presence of the legendary Pat Sharpe (who kissed me on the cheek), Lemar and some guy from The Office, apparently. I can’t quite remember the whole night, but that could only mean it was a good one.

Final Thoughts very night during the first few weeks of university, I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

Every day had brought something new: new friends, new places, and new experiences.

I quickly mastered the skill of microwave cuisine, and delayed using the washing machine with the help of Febreeze.

The excitement of the first week was electric, and that feeling didn’t fade for a very long time. The only advice I can offer to freshers is: enjoy every minute, it all goes too fast.

E

ELEVEN

FASHION

We know where it’s at Whether you’re a shopper on a budget or a big spender, Cardiff provides chic fashion outlets for any bank balance

Clothes Barker/Castle Arcade, St. Mary’s Street. Unique styles from popular urban ranges such as Superdry. Cool interior permits the relatively high price tag. $$$$ Chessman/Castle Arcade. Caters for male and female label lovers.

Stockists of Diesel, Firetrap, Miss Sixty etc. $$$$$ Drooghi/Castle Arcade. A well-known and loved men’s shop that boasts its own label, Rather Not Say. Once described as ‘one of the best shops on earth’. We say better get down there quick. $$$$$

Shoes Buzz and Co./High Street Arcade.

Bursting with cute and pretty little mitts for your feet. There are two branches in the arcade, one that caters for the trainer lovers among you and one that caters for those who prefer smarter footwear. $$$ Eccentrix/High Street Arcade.

Provides an eccletic mix of shoes that you may love or hate. As the

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Mary’s Street. Above Cardiff Antiques Centre you will find an eclectic mix of vintage and fancy dress. It also makes its own t-shirts and stocks Bowho, a very funky label. $$ Hobo’s/High Street Arcade, St. Mary’s Street. A funky little haunt full of vintage for funky people. $$ Pussy Galore/High Street Arcade. A haven for the sophisticated clothesloving goddess! The styles even make the hangers look classy. As Charlotte Church’s favourite, you can just imagine what the prices are like. $$$$$

Drop Dead Budgie/Royal Arcade, St.

Numerous charity shops down Albany Road, Whitchurch Road and in town will help you stick to a budget and you never know what treasure you may find. $

name suggests, expect anything; plastic platforms and PVC kneehighs. $$

selection, small price tags. $$

Schuh/Queen Street. A high street gold mine. Also offers a 10% student discount on its huge selection of trainers and shoes. $$$ Office/ Queen Street. Just the same as Schuh. You know the score. $$$ Qube/Queen Street. Big shop, big

FASHION@GAIRRHYDD.COM

FASHION

Hair There’s nothing worse than having a hair dilemma and having no idea where to get it fixed, so here’s our pick of Cardiff’s hair heaven.

expensive choice, if you’re really skint (and brave), you can have your hair cut by the trainees for a fiver.

Usually $$$$, with a trainee $

Aveda Bauhaus Deluxe hairdressers on St. Mary’s Street. Look out for the 30 quid walk-in hair cut and make sure you get the 10% student discount. $$$$

Essentials

Johnson’s This student staple does great haircuts at a price that won’t break your bank balance. It’s also smack bang in the middle of studentville. Find it at 64 Cathays Terrace.

D

$$ Toni and Guy Although a pretty

Beauty If you’re a cosmetics addict these shops should help you to get your beauty fix.

brand in the Capitol Centre or Debenhams. $$$$ Tesco If you’re living in Talybont, Tesco Extra is handy for good value beauty basics. $

Boots The Queen’s Street store is a great one-stop-shop for all your essentials. This store has everything under its massive roof. $$$

Trends

Howells Excellent for hard-to-find brands such as Bobbi Brown and Benefit. Plus, get a manicure at Nails inc for just a tenner. $$$$$

L

Lush and Neal’s Yard Visit Lush on Queen Street or Neal’s Yard in the Morgan Arcade for animal-friendly and chemical-free skin products.

$$$ Mac Find this fab

Key

$ Saving your pennies $$ Cash wise FASHION@GAIRRHYDD.COM

espite what you might have heard, it doesn’t rain all the time in Cardiff. But it does rain a lot, so our advice is to invest in the tiniest umbrella you can find and take it everywhere.

Soggy is really not a good look. The other problem with the weather here is that it’s just so unpredictable: rain one minute, baking hot sun the next. Well almost.

Here at Fashion Desk we think layering is the key to looking good, whatever the weather.

$$$ Smart spender $$$$ Splashing out $$$$$ Blowing the budget

ast season, black was back. But now it’s a paler shade of black.

Grey, in fact.

According to Vogue, it’s the designers’ shade of choice purely for its restrained, chic, edgy quality with subtleties that allow an eclectic interpretation whether it be sharp as steel in silk or soft in jersey knits.

So make sure you get down to the high street for this season’s essential chunky knits and soft eveningwear.

THIRTEEN

FOOD

Food for thought Food orders the healthy option with a garnish of tips on how to eat well when living away from home

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he food we eat is made up of five main components; carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins and minerals. A healthy balanced diet should contain all of these.

S Carbs

tick to complex carbohydrates and avoid sugar. Eat lots of whole grain which can be found in rice, wholemeal bread, potatoes, cereals, beans and pulses.

The body can’t digest whole grains as quickly as processed carbohydrates, such as white bread and pasta. This means you’ll have more energy for longer and won’t have to eat so often, which will save you money.

P Protein

roteins are made up of many small units called amino acids.

Some amino acids that we need can be made in the body, but those that the body cannot make must be provided in the diet.

Fish, poultry and eggs are all important sources of protein. For veggies, homous, beans and whole grains are also good sources. Protein is essential in maintaining a healthy body as it plays a huge part in repairing damaged tissue.

E Fa t s

ssential fatty acids include omega 3 and omega 6. These can improve cholesterol levels, protect the heart, and some studies suggest they are good for your concentration.

They can be found in plant oils such as sunflower oil and olive oil, avocadoes, nuts and green leafy vegetables such as spinach.

Another good source comes from fatty fish such as salmon.

Food containing saturated fats, such as cheese and biscuits, and foods containing lots of sugar, such as chocolate, should all be eaten in moderation.

FOURTEEN

V itamins and Minerals

T

his bit is simple and very effective. It’s actually really easy and tasty to maintain a good amount of vitamins and minerals in your diet.

To succeed just eat loads of fruit and vegetables. Eat at least two or three pieces of fruit a day and try to put a few veggies with every meal.

This can protect you from a whole range of illnesses such as heart disease and a variety of cancers.

In the short term it will improve the condition of your skin and hair so you’ll look a lot better and probably get laid more. eal.

S

o, it’s basically common sense: try to eat a variety of the food types mentioned.

You’ll be pleased to hear that alcohol in moderation (i.e. one drink a day) actually reduces the risk of heart disease. However, remember alcohol in excess does have its risks.

Considering, however, that this is the freshers’ edition I’ll give you all a few weeks to get into this habit rather than believing you will adopt it straight away.

FOOD@GAIRRHYDD.COM

GAY

Out and about Is university the time for you to leave the closet? Quench investigates

S

tarting university gives you the chance to make a fresh start.

For some this may involve changing their hair colour, wearing different clothes or taking up different activities. However, some first year students have to decide whether to use this opportunity to tell the world that they are gay.

Coming out is something that all gay men and women dread: they fear being abandoned by their parents and being ostracised by their friends. The decision whether to stay in or come out of the closet during your time at university is entirely yours, but rest assured, outing yourself may be a lot easier than you think.

“

Your true friends won’t care one little bit about whether you’re dating George or Georgina Unfortunately there is no one way to do this, so out yourself in the way that’s best for you. This may be telling a close group of friends in an in-depth conversation about life, love and relationships, or it may simply be dropping the news into an everyday chat.

Alternatively you could do it in one foul swoop by dancing around in Solus to It’s Raining Men. Whichever way you do come out, make sure that you feel comfortable in that situation. It’ll make it a hell of a lot easier.

Some people will be very, very supportive of you: your true friends won’t care one little bit about whether you’re dating George or Georgina and, even though they may be uncomfortable at first, your parents will eventually come around (they probably won’t even be surprised – you were always a little ‘different’).

There will, of course, be those who don’t accept you for who you really are, even after a period of time. Don’t put up with any crap from them and don’t bother talking to them again.

Hopefully they’ll live their narrow-minded lives as lonely, unhappy individuals.

Seek advice if you need it. Many young gay people develop depression and, in the saddest of cases, commit suicide. There are many organisations out there to help you: the Student Counselling Service at 47 Park Place may be your first port of call.

Whatever you decide to do, remember to stay safe and have fun along the way. And do the thing that will make you’re the happiest during your time here in Cardiff.

Second-year Cardiff student, female

“

When I came to Cardiff I had a girlfriend, but I didn’t know whether to tell my new flat mates that I was gay.

They saw the pictures I had of her on my walls the day I moved in, so I lied and told them she was my best friend.

GAY@GAIRRHYDD.COM

A day or so later I gave in, not wanting to lie to them. I dropped into conversation that she was actually my girlfriend and they were fine with it. Two years later they’re still my best friends and they still don’t care what sexuality I am.

”

Third-year Cardiff student, male

“

I spent my first year in Talybont acting like a jock. I went out with the lads all the time, watched football and tried to fit in with their macho way of life. But I knew I was gay, I just didn’t want to tell them. Although on the surface I looked happy, I was actually really depressed and hated lying to everyone, including myself. At the end of the year I decided to come out to them and my family. At first they were a little surprised and some of them didn’t know how to deal with it. But after a while they came around.

We still go out all the time, we still watch football together, but now my boyfriend comes with us.

”

FIFTEEN

TRAVEL

Fun in the British sun Jim Whiteley explains why the British seaside resort Croyde Bay isn’t only for Burberry-clad chavs

I

hold a special place in my heart for Croyde Bay. It is mid-July, and we are fast approaching the hottest July day on record. As I sit on the beach, with its beautiful golden sands, I look around at the dramatic landscape of rolling hills, sheer cliffs and stunning scenery.

You can almost smell the charm of North Devon in the air, bringing with it images of quaint little villages, harbouring cottages with thatched roofs, where all the locals drink real ale and make a living by their livestock. The beach is empty – just a few keen surfers and one or two people swimming in the not-so-tropical British sea.

The sun is hot, the sea cool: a seemingly perfect combination.

However, I am not the only one who realises this. Slowly, the masses arrive – a steady trickle of people, most carry-

ing an assortment of umbrellas, windbreaks, noisy kids, stereos, Frisbees, grandmas and everything in-between.

They scrabble for every inch of space on the beach. The water becomes full of people; the lifeguards are overworked trying to keep people between the flags. I take solace in the scenery around me; the magnificent Baggy Point reaching out into the blue green sea. Well, mostly blue green; the water doesn’t look so appetising around that sewer outlet.

Beginning to find the heat and lack of space unappealing, I make my way back towards the campsite, thinking that I might pick up a cold drink on the way back. There is a small shop located on the large holiday park site: I think to myself, a perfect place to buy a cooling beverage. I turn into the park, and … what’s this? A nightclub? A Costa coffee? Where has my North Devon charm gone? My bucolic fantasy is replaced by the sound of an oversized holiday camp, tacky caravans stuffed full

of people drinking Stella, donning Burberry and bling and heading to the arcades.

Am I selling it to you yet?

The truth is that, by day, Croyde isn’t exactly what most people would call relaxing. And yet, despite all these ‘faults’, I can’t help but go back there time after time. The first time I ever stayed at Croyde was the first time I ever got a sense of ‘travel’ – being away from home and authority for a whole week. What could be better when you are aged 16? This is where another side of Croyde was revealed.

A side where you sit in the dunes around a fire until the early morning and meet random strangers.

The word random is one I feel overused – but when put into the context of a drunk, lost, Mexican, who only speaks broken English by starting and ending his sentences with the exclamation ‘c**track!’ and who tries to hug you all the time and tell you he only swears at you because he loves you so very very much – that is random.

Despite all this, you can still find true North Devon charm in the nonholiday park hotspots of Croyde Bay. You can enjoy those precious moments as the sun comes up and goes down when the beaches are deserted. All these experiences encompass my favourite place to visit.

FAR LEFT: Jim and his Devonshire flock. LEFT: Jim tries out the Beckham look

SIXTEEN

TRAVEL@GAIRRHYDD.COM

Czech it out

TRAVEL

Chris Rogers on why the Czech Tek festival should stay illegal

I

soak up the culture and relax until have now visited the Czech Republic for the last three years in they catch wind of where Czech Tek will be held. Most consult the internet a row. I have an odd perception of the Czech culture, the reason for this or simply find out by word of mouth.

There is a real buzz in Prague leadis because I fly to the country to ing up to Czech Tek: you can always attend their annual techno festival tell who is planning on going. These known as Czech Tek. This is what ravers are usually dressed eccentrimy visits to the country revolve cally and can be spotted wandering around and this is why I see a differaround the streets of Prague shouting ent aspect of the Czech culture than ‘Czech Tek’ at the top of their voices. most do.

As a rule the festival is held someGo to any free party in England, or where near the capital. The beauty anywhere where drugs and alcohol behind the ambiguity of its location is are readily available, and you will be that you really do get to see places among herds of bumbling, balshy, you would never think of travelling to tranquilized tits who, if they are not normally. stood in the middle of the dance floor This year, however, the Czech govmaking outlandish facial expressions ernment decided to allow the festival at the sky, they will be behind the to take place on an area of land forspeakers spewing their insides out mally used for military training. This onto the floor. Not here: there seems made the event legal. Although this to be a lot more to Czech Tek than thousands of people congregating just appears to be a positive move, there are concerns that the event will to get wasted. From what I notice of become larger, more commercial and, the Czech partiers, and indeed other god forbid, no longer free. This of continental ravers, is that it seems to course would defy the whole point of be more of a lifestyle. People travel Czech Tek’s existence as an alternafrom far and wide in huge vans beartive and free festival. ing dreadlocks, multiple piercings, But why am I telling you all this? huge sound systems and dogs. It’s a huge cultural event and yes, drugs are It’s because I’ve just arrived home and the buzz of the whole experience taken and many beers are drunk, but is still lingering in my mind. It is an that is only one aspect of this experiextraordinary event and if you are ence. ever around Prague during the sumGetting to Czech Tek is always a mer months it’s a great festival to gruelling, hilarious and interesting attend, legal or not. experience. Until this year the festival has been illegal, so the police are hot on the ’t The U Princ Terrace in Don trail and eager to close it Prague down early. This means Miss For the best view of the city lit-up at night, that the location of the event visit this open-air cocktail is often not revealed until the bar on top of the U Princ last minute. Most people start by Hotel in the Old Town heading to the stunningly beautiful capital city of Prague where they can

TRAVEL@GAIRRHYDD.COM

SEVENTEEN

MUSIC

Quench’s Summer Stereo MR LIF Mo Mega

REGINA SPEKTOR Begin To hope

Def Jux

T

Mega Mr

here’s a lot of poor hip-hop about. Whether it's my mate Phil's cousin DJ Letz-get-Bizee from Aberystwyth, right up to GUnit's latest heartthrobs Mobb Deep.

Sometimes it feels like there's no let up. Then out of the gun smoke emerges Mr Lif with his second full length opus, Mo Mega, and, oh how it has lightened my summer. Released

by Def Jux, Mo Mega gets better with every listen, with the production unique and original yet bearing Lif's truly distinctive sound.

The lyrics are unashamedly political, but not in the balls out Zack De La Rocha ‘lets fuck up the government’ way but in the KRS 1 ‘let's spit about unemployment and condoms’ social consciousness way.

The tracks helmed by Lif himself are the highlights of the album, with the funked up Murs is my Manager being so catchy its been stuck in my head for about three weeks. There's even a reggae dance hall-style joint in Washitup, but with the usual Jamaican lyrical content being replaced with lines about genital hygiene. Lovely.

As one friend remarked to me while watching a particularly awful Chingy video: "It's a shame most people only hear this shit hip hop", and she was right. Hopefully with this album Lif and friends can change that. Unfortunately I doubt it.

8/10 William Hitchins

EIGHTEEN

STUART A. STAPLES Leaving Songs

Sire Records

H

Mangina

aving been a devout worshipper at the synagogue of Regina for a while I was worried about this one; word was that she'd moved away from her usual sermon of piano and vocals into darker territories full of crackling guitar and electronic bass lines.

Despite my usual attitude I was thinking ‘why change a good thing?’

And sad to say I was probably right.

It’s not that the addition of a full band on most tracks has ruined them, it's just that there seems to be no real need for them.

The ever-captivating Regina hasn't changed drastically enough in any direction to justify the minor additions to the already beautiful songs.

For example, Better is a charming song, full of bittersweet lyrics and a wonderful vocal melody, but its new makeover with unnecessary electric guitar and drums simply detracts from the original song.

However, on a track or two, particularly Edit, Ms Spektor preaches her twee lyrics with a totally new electronic sound and succeeds.

Despite these few tracks though, sadly this album is nothing awe inspiring.

Of course I still want to marry her though.

7/10 William Hitchins

Beggars Banquet

L

Staple Gun

eaving Songs is the second solo project released by Stuart Staples since his sombre but acclaimed entrance to the British music scene with his band Tindersticks in 1992.

Staples is famed for his quiet, melodic voice that bleeds anguish and sorrow. Two duets from angelvoiced collaberators Maria McKee and Lhasa De Sela compliment Staples’ mood to give the songs a deep whispering internal dialogue.

The album title doesn’t try and hide the fact that this is a sad, reminiscent venture. Each song weaves tales and memories through dark yet calming arrangements of strings, piano and guitars. Somehow it is both haunting and peaceful.

Every tune is laced with its own individual pains and pleasures, but the outstanding songs are That Leaving Feeling and the album’s opener, Goodbye to Old Friends.

When the days start getting darker and the nights start getting colder you’ll find this melancholic journey creeping into your CD player on its own.

Staples has once again placed himself among the greats of modern British songwriters and written a perfect aperitif for those lucky enough to have got a seat at this September’s Tidersticks’ shows.

9/10 Mike Richards

MUSIC@GAIRRHYDD.COM

MUSIC Mid-Summer Night’s Scream Cardiff’s students may have abandoned their fair city for the summer, but the rock never stops...

BRANT BJORK AND THE BROS The Point Tuesday July 18

J

ust when you thought that either a coma or death were your only escapes from terrorists and Pete Doherty’s influence on pop music, along came Brant and his Bros.

Hendrix may have died too early but Brant Bjork transports us back on a magical journey to the live psychedelic rock experience. There was San Miguel, grooves and a whole lotta desert jammin’; the only thing missing was the sand. But not even that could stop the crowd from being completely absorbed into the genius, funky and smooth sounds seeping melodiously through Brant’s big ‘Orange’ amp.

The support band was just as absorbing and are pure escapism from today’s pop graveyard. Recently found playing summer generator parties, this Welsh band are heavy, rocking, and uniquely refreshing with a name to suit: Suns of Thunder.

James McConnell

If you want to write for Quench music come along to meetings on Monday at 5.10pm. Pick up a free CD or a gig ticket in return for a slice of your opinion. You can check us out on www.myspace.com/gairrhyddmusic

MUSIC@GAIRRHYDD.COM

BEN HARP ER Plymouth P avilions Tuesday Ju ly 4

I

've always found Ben Harper a difficult act to describe: part gospel, part rock, part blues, herein of course lies his appeal.

Hollering with the passion of a baptist preacher, Revered Harper delivered funk rock tracks such as Black Rain from the new album with a genuine fury, but inevitably it was the old favourites that got the biggest cheer.

Middle-class yuppie marijuanasmoking anthem Burn One Down incited the tediously obligatory light-

BILLY TALENT Solus Saturday July 8

K

apow...bIff...thwack and Billy Talent throw a massive musical punch right in the face.

The guitar continues to throw jab after jab until the point of breakdown, where they grab to pull you back in. It’s the punk introduction of choice today and completely mesmerising to the point of Quench dropping a pen in a pint.

Fantastically catchy, chant-based choruses threaded between lighter, more emotionally tinged lyrics, all wrapped up in guitar riffs that threaten ear damage. A combina-

ing of joints and holding them in the air (some people have such a lack of care for fire safety).

After an hour or so, when Ben's long-standing band the Innocent Criminals had left the stage, the man himself walked out with acoustic guitar in hand set to break our hearts in his own unmistakable way with the ever-devastating Walk Away and Another Lonely Day. The show’s highlight came towards the end of the two and a half hour set, with Both Sides of the Gun delivering its inspirational, if slightly simplified lyrics, to send us home with fervour to change the world. A morning in front of Cash in the Attic it is then…

William Hitchins

tion that works incredibly well to draw you in and then make you feel like emotion is trying to escape from every part of your body.

A variety of bass thumping, floorvibrating anthems that send the kids absolutely wild to prettier vocally focused harmonies at a much slower tempo. This does not, however, ever stop the raw attitude of the Talent from being consistently obvious.

Not only a show of ear-grabbing proportions from start to finish but a damn good feast for the eyes as well: cracking use of light and venue from which it can be concluded that every band should use green lights at some point. Quite simply, an experience worth having.

Sofie Jenkinson

NINETEEN

MUSIC Bang, Crash, Wallop, What a Venue

Cardiff is not famous for its rock and roll scene, but the Barfly (above) poses as the main rock of alternative sounds amidst the sea of drum ‘n’ bass and cheesy club tunes. The Barfly hosts live music almost every day of the week as well as themed music evenings like Flyswatter, The Bait Shop and Mad4It! In typical rock-club fashion, it’s one of the smallest, darkest and dingiest clubs in town, but also the first venue on the list for the more underground acts.

The Barfly grew in reputation after MTV’s Zane Lowe added the venue to his Gonzo Tour in 2003 and since has had the most consistent flow of quality new rock and roll in Cardiff.

Sad for some, relieving for most, if you turn up at the Coal Exchange (above) on a Friday night you are unlikely to be greeted by a huge burley miner with a pick axe in hand wanting to sell you the spoils of a successful day down the pit. What you will see,

TWENTY

however, is some bloody ruddy good live music. Situated in Cardiff Bay and with a capacity off 1500, the Coal Exchange has hosted the great and the good, as well as the not-so-great and far-from good. In the last year alone we’ve seen young Northern upstarts the Arctic Monkeys (before they sold a zillion records), happy-go lucky popsters the Go team!, old bitter bastards the Fall, Mexican guitar maestros Rodriguez et Gabriella, and as they say, much, much more.

“

It feels like a best kept secret or underground club that you’ve accidentally infiltrated Take a brisk walk around the corner, appearing like a beacon of light in a grotty back street emerges The Point (top right), another of the city’s plethora of venues. Oh what a fabulous little venue this is. Encased in the shell of what once what a beautiful old church, it is a place that magic happens. Band after band look out from the stage onto their congregation of followers toing and fro-ing between the little bar tucked into the corner, the balcony and people scattered between the great columns.

This little slice of venue heaven makes every note feels like something incredibly special, even German psyche bands with no rhythm. It feels like a best kept secret or underground club that you’ve accidentally infiltrated.

There is always oodles of atmosphere knocking around between the great stained glass windows, a combination of the fabulous surroundings and the

people it tends to attract. It has a capacity of around 300 and previous acts include Broken Social Scene, Lightning Bolt and Super Furry Animals.

Great gigs will always be great no matter where they are, but they become phenomenal in the right place, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is that kind of place.

Cardiff’s International Arena (below) is Cardiff’s big daddy of venues. Its huge capacity makes it the first and only choice for the modern giants of the music scene. Like all arena venues the CIA distinctly lacks the character of some of the smaller venues, but what it does lack in character it makes up for in volume, celebrity and booze prices. Although a small mortgage is needed to buy a round of drinks, it is undoubtedly worth it to have access to likes of anyone from Kanye West to Tool.

MUSIC@GAIRRHYDD.COM

MUSIC

STUDENTS’ UNION: Made entirely of Lego

Let us not forget our very own

Students’ Union (above), undoubtedly the most wonderful union in all of this fair green land, even if we do say so ourselves. Within the 1980s red brick walls lie a veritable smorgasbord of live venues, ranging from the small and personal café/bar CF10, to the musical jewel of the Union, the Great Hall, with a standing capacity of 1500.

All manner of sharp ‘we’re so un cool we’re actually the epitome of fashionable’ bands have graced its

walls in recent years, as well as those who just play damn good stomping rock and roll music.

Everyone’s favourite Monday night hot spot Solus can also transform its Carling-stained floors into yet another Union-based venue. The Come Play girls and 80s TV anthems disappear to be replaced with acts ranging from the overly sexed Martha Wainwright to drum ‘n’ bass maestros Pendulum.

With more bands booked to play in our dear sweet union home than in any other year, there’s never been a

better time to head down to the box office, collect a golden ticket and dance away your hangover just in time for a 9am lecture.

Conclusion then; don’t be fooled by its harsh, dare I say ugly, exterior, for inside hides a gourmet platter of musical venues. Who cares if it looks like an all-red Rubik’s cube.

So you’re stumbling happily yet drunkenly home along Queen Street, and just as you thought the Cardiff music scene couldn’t get any better, out of the darkness emerges Buffalo Bar. During the day it is a mild mannered café bar, yet come the night it transforms into the type off venue you wish you’d seen all your heroes in before they took over the world.

Sitting cross-legged on the wooden floors, nattering away with one-night acquaintances, this bar makes you feel like you’re in your living room, in front of a roaring log fire, watching an aunt or uncle give their annual Christmas piano recital. That’s how personal it is.

...and now for somewhere to spend your loan In the great tradition of respecting elders it is absolutely imperative that you visit the Granddaddy of all record stores, Spillers (top right). It is the oldest record shop in the world (no really, it is.) So if you fancy a bit of genuinely old school music shopping then this is where you need to be. Extremely friendly and helpful and the greatest little gem of a place you will ever stumble across.

Fantastic for vinyl, fanzines, cheapish range cds, advice and finding out about gigs.

It is also the home of frequent instore signings and acoustic performances, which in the past has seen Arab Strap, Jim Noir and The Automatic all spend a cosy after-

MUSIC@GAIRRHYDD.COM

noon. Sometimes people even bring cakes. Brilliant.

Another fantastic little place that can be found in the central area is the independent dance specialist Catapult (bottom right) which is hiding away in High Street Arcade. It specialising in vinyl with a focus on; hard dance, techo, drum ‘n’ bass, urban, house, breaks, hardcore and a limited selection of other eclectic titles. A great place for professional DJs but also equally exciting for the average music enthusiast.

Wander a little further a field, along Mackintosh Place in Roath,

and you will stumble across D’Vinyl which is quite simply the Aladdin’s cave of second hand music gems.

Rammed full of old vinyl, CDs and even tapes, there are some cracking bits and bobs waiting to be discovered. Increasingly useful in the recent climate of ‘retro’ shenanigans it is great for those with a passion for music from yesteryear.

TWENTYONE

MUSIC

Dates for your diary Quench gives you something to do every day until next time you pick us up Wednesday

20

Live: Aiden at the Barfly (£12 adv.)

Night Out: Popscene at Clwb Ifor Bach (Larikin Love album playback) (left)

Saturday

Thursday

21

Night Out: Breakfast Club at Clwb Ifor Bach

23

Sunday

Friday

Live: Bluetones at The Barfly (£12 adv.)

Night Out: Mad 4 it at Barfly (£4 NUS)/ Access All Areas at Solus (£3)

24

Monday

Live: Ty Gwydr at Clwb Ifor Bach Night Out: Twisted By Design at Dempseys/ Come Play at Solus (£3.50)

Live: Embrace at the Students’ Union (below) Night Out: Secret Garden at Buffalo

Live: Hyena at Buffalo (below) Night Out: Access All Areas at Solus (£3)

Tuesday

26

Wednesday

Thursday

Live: Hidden Cameras at The Barfly (left) (£7 adv.)

Night Out: Robot Rock at Barfly (free)

Live: Freak Kitchen at The Point Night Out: Rubber Duck at Solus/ Panic at Barfly

Friday

29

Live: Stranglers at The Coal Exchange (right) Night Out: Dudes Abide at Clwb Ifor Bach

Monday Night Out: Fun Factory (below) at Solus (free)

TWENTYTWO

Saturday

27

Tuesday

25

28

Live: The Misfits at The Coal Exchange Night Out: Livewire at Barfly (free)/ Aperture at Moloko

30

Live: Cool House at the Students’ Union Night Out: Flyswatter at Barfly (£4 NUS)/ Come Play at Solus

02

22

Sunday

01

Today is a day of rest.

Enjoy a quiet evening of drinking tea and watching murder mysteries. Regroup and gather strength for the last days of Freshers’ week.

03

Live: Sikth at TJ’s, Newport Night Out: Soul Motion at Moloko

Wednesday

04

Live: Ring of Fire: Music of Johnney Cash at St. David’s Hall Night Out: Popscene at Clwb Ifor Bach

MUSIC@GAIRRHYDD.COM

BOOKS YOU REMIND ME OF ME Dan Chaon John Murray

It’s beautiful but you’ll be bawling

D Just my cup of coff e e This week Books tell you what to read and where to read it

I

f you haven't been to Cardiff before then I might as well warn you now. We probably have the longest winters and the worst weather in the whole of the UK. You might nervously move all your worldly belongings into one of the mouse boxes in Talybont and say goodbye to your parents in the wonderful sunshine, but as they drive off, behind Southgate House a dark cloud is a-brewing.

The next morning as you peek out of the window, it will be a different scene. The rain will be coming down in what can only be described as torrents. You’ll want to read your new book and stay in your little cell.

Hidden on Woodville Road, Hoffi Coffi is an escapist’s dream come true. Complete with deep leather sofas, this tiny hide-out offers a 10% student discount and a cappuccino for £1.80. There is a wide selection of cakes and sandwiches that will complete your day, I could hang out here for hours.

Right at the far end of City Road, the Cornerstone is a bar-cross-coffee house. Do not be alarmed if it feels as if you have stumbled in to

BOOKS@GAIRRHYDD.COM

a Lloyds parallel dimension: if you wade through the sports bar loons you reach a raised platform that could be confused with your parents comfy sitting room at home.

Sofas and spotlights are encouraging, and a coffee is only £1.40. But watch out, Quench was duped into paying £4.18 for a Guinness and a coke.

Bar En Route is a hidden jewel on Cathays Terrace. It may not be to everyone’s taste but the living room atmosphere and exotic selection of drinks are a welcome change from the norm. It’s not cheap, but at least this means that it’s a safe refuge from those rowdy student types.

Just opposite everybody’s favourite Monday night piss-up joint, The Woodville, Kappuccino’s is a cheap and cheerful spot to hunker down and soak up some words.

Reasonable priced snacks and drinks will keep the stomach-monster from growling and it’s the closest option for those of the Talybont.

A cappuccino will set you back £1.05.

Mike Richards and Avalyn Beare

an Chaon's first novel, You Remind Me of Me is another of those welcome reminders that certain authors are still capable of gliding between genres without disappointing. Although Chaon is better known for his collections of short stories, this lengthy novel is a beautiful expression of loss, regret and the search for redemption.

It would be easy to assume that these themes are unoriginal with so many modern novels focused on the underbelly of life, but through the jigsaw puzzle of memories presented here, the thought never crossed my mind. Spiralling from the heartwrenching opening tragedies; a young boy savaged by his beloved pet dog, and a lonely mother giving up her baby for adoption, we follow the paths of the many characters, all related through their circumstances but totally alone in their stories.

The descriptions of the American countryside left behind in the rush for economic power, the go between towns with an empty high street are incredibly nostalgic, leaving the reader dreaming of the lonely sunstreaked boards covering the windows of abandoned shops.

There are moments when after a long paragraph a singular emotion that there is a sense that Chaon is filling in pages, possibly along with the strange page breaks, an attempt to completely escape any of the conventions of the short story. However, this is a small price to pay for some of the incredibly observant descriptions of other events.

Avalyn Beare 8/10 If you liked this then try: Chaonʼ’s short stories Among the Missing, and Filing Ends and Other Stories.

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F I L M

N E W S

FILM film@gairrhydd

By Ewen Hosie Film Editor

T MICRO-SCIENCE FICTION

BLOMKAMP’S BREAK

Darren Aronofsky’s long-awaited The Fountain (above) is due to hit cinemas in March. Production suffered mishaps due to major cast and budget overhauls, but if the ambitious project (spanning from the year 1500 to 2500) fails conceptually, then it should at least provide unmatched visual splendour.

The effects team have experimented with processes using micro-photography of petri dishes to lend the picture a more timeless quality. This imaginative approach is also the result of the implications of the budget restraints that followed Brad Pitt’s departure from the project.

South African director Neill Blomkamp, renowned for his stunning shorts which meld photorealistic CGI with hand-held cinema verite leanings (see Yellow, Alive in Joburg or the Citroen Transformers ad for proof), has claimed the director’s chair for the adaptation of Halo, scripted by Alex Garland (author of The Beach), due for release sometime in 2008.

The young director could hopefully reverse the trend for poor game adaptations, although it is perhaps unfortunate that his theatrical debut was not a more unconventional choice.

M ORE

Little Miss Sunshine and The Science of Sleep both show that promo directors can burn marks on both Hollywood and our retinas.

Promo filmmakers

Some of these guys are beyond a joke. They may have contributed to the success of Snakes on a Plane, but they’re still annoying.

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Internet Geekery

On DVD: The Magician ■ The Devil and Daniel Johnston ■ Silent Hill ■ Angel Heart In cinemas: ■ Tideland ■ A Scanner Darkly ■ Lady in the Water ■ Severance ■ Snakes on a Plane

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o all the first years that have found themselves in the fair city of Cardiff for their eventual development into fully-fledged intellectuals (for I am sure that this will be the first thing on your mind during Freshers’ week) I welcome you to Quench Film.

I hope, while reading it, you are overcome with euphoric and tingly feelings, a physiological reaction to the beauty of the print, in essence thanking us for the slavish hours devoted to bringing you the best in film news and reviews (which we haven’t stolen from Sight and Sound…honest).

The Welsh capital has much to offer for budding cineastes and our Film in Cardiff page offers a rudimentary introduction to what’s on offer. Film News discusses projects in development at the moment, while the inimitable Patrick Bateman offers a round-up of the fortnight’s most interesting DVD releases.

If you want to get involved with Quench Film, there are details on page 31 about how to do so. Welcome to Cardiff!

Coming soon...

Designed to get you sweating at the mere thought of their arrival: Hot Fuzz (16/02/2007) The Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright/Nick Frost team-up is one that resulted in the immortal Shaun of the Dead. This followup swaps zombies for cops and is shaping up marvellously.

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FILM

Film in Cardiff

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ardiff offers considerable treasures for those interested in cinema.

Those craving blockbuster Hollywood entertainment can find their demands met ably by the larger chains such as Cineworld or Vue. Chapter Arts Centre is the main venue for arthouse and independent features. Or, if you prefer to sit at home, Blockbuster, Choices or MoviebanK should all satisfy. Here’s an overview.

Cinemas

Chapter Arts Market Road, Canton The Chapter Arts Centre is worth the trek to Canton for those serious about their cinema. Various arthouse, foreign and classic films are all on offer throughout the year and there is something for everyone. It also features a relatively pricey yet excellent bar where you can chin-wag with fellow 30-something aesCHAPTER ARTS: Truffautastic thetes and arty student types.

Cineworld Cinema Mary Ann Street You know the score. The former UGC caters for all the major releases and is the most central option of the major Cardiff cinemas. The Cardiff Film Society also holds their meetings here for regular classic screenings, offering a chance to meet felCINEWORLD: Latest hits low-minded cinema lovers.

Vue Cinema Millennium Plaza, Wood Street Offering the largest screens in Cardiff, Vue cnema is an option for those looking for maximum spectacle. Like Cineworld, Vue offers NUS discount and is located in a complex which also houses the likes of Jumpin’ Jaks. The showtimes do tend to be less flexible than its main VUE: One for the epics competitor however.

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DVD shops Blockbusters Just beyond Tesco on Albany Rd, Blockbuster offers two night rental on all new releases for £3.75 and through an online service, unlimited DVD rental for the rate of £9.99 a month (check website for further details). They also offer a sizeable ex-rental section if you’re looking to bump up the collection with a few cheap cuts.

Choices Not far from rivals Blockbuster just across the street is Choices. Similar to Blockbuster in certain respects, they are slightly smaller but offer a fairly expansive world cinema section to sate the arty needs of the cineaste in all of us.

Alternatively, there is also plenty of anime for the otaku massive to savour.

MoviebanK On City Road, lies MoviebanK, who operate a card 'top-up' system, offering DVD rentals 24 hours a day, seven days a week, through an ATM-like machine. Not a huge catalogue, but getting Weekend at Bernies 2 when you’re inebriated at four in the morning is what some might call a slice of fried gold.

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FILM

SNAKES ON A PLANE Dir: David R.Ellis Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Rachel Blanchard, Kenan from Kenan and Kel Out Now, 103 mins

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ince the inimitably titled Snakes on a Plane is a film that has relied so heavily upon pre-release internet speculation and fan boy musings, I decided to peruse internet message boards in an attempt to gleam some comprehensive idea of what the fuss is.

Among the most amusing entries was this doozy thread entitled 'Saving Private Ryan or Snakes on a Plane?' Needles17 says: “If Tom Hanks said ‘I'm sick of these motherfucking Germans in this motherfucking war’, [I'd choose] Saving Private Ryan [but] since he didn't, I

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choose Snakes on a Plane.”

The truth is that despite such sweaty, over enthusiastic ramblings, they're all right about Snakes on a Plane. It is tremendous trash cinema, casting aside all notions of verisimilitude for the sake of pure escapist entertainment.

For the most part the CG snakes look atrocious, but oh, don’t they know it; this is nudge and wink filmmaking of the highest concentration, never diluted by contrivances of plot or loopholes in logic. What adds to the beauty of this cinematic event is that the simple story of a Pacific Ocean flight being jeopardized by hundreds of snakes is, through its sheer self-awareness, critic-proof in any traditional sense.

Every character in the film is a tongue-in-cheek spin on disastermovie cliché. The panicked single mother (plus infant) is regularly employed to amp the tension.

There is also the employment of a

superfluous English toff bastard seemingly invented for a slack-jawed American audience to boo and hiss.

There is only one character that really matters however. Snakes on a Plane is Samuel L.’s calling in life.

No stranger to projects of immense stupidity in the past (The 51st State being the most obvious example off the top of my head), his character of Nelville Flynn is the role I would forever remember him for if he hadn’t signed on the dotted line for a certain Tarantino indie in 1994. Flynn is parody and homage both to the classic Jackson character archetype, a 'bad motherfucker' in the truest sense of the word. Snakes on a Plane is an anomaly, a film tailormade for the ultimate high-concept drive-in experience.

Note: That’s why I gave it six snakes out of five planes.

Ewen Hosie

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FILM

HAZARD PAY Is Severance the newest bastion of British horror-comedy? Ewen Hosie finds out...

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he hype machine grinds its gears at a dangerously voracious speed, smoking and spluttering black fumes from the strenuous exertion of keeping hope alive for Severance, the next great 'Shaun of the Dead on acid' or whatever other tired idiom reviewers across the land have found for it.

The truth is that Severance is undeserving of such praise, proving another entry in the ever-expanding gamut of horror-comedy that unnerves and amuses for all the wrong reasons. It is a brave but wince-inducing attempt at breathing fresh air into a genre that has festered for too long to inspire.

The plot is simple: a team-building weekend in the Eastern European woodlands for employees of a conglomerate arms manufacturer turns grisly, leaving the protaganists in a fight for survival against insidious guerrila forces. All classic character archetypes are present and correct; comic druggie hedonist Steve (Danny Dyer), annoyingly eager Gordon (Andy Nyman), shy Billy (Babou Cessay), token American Maggie (Laura Harris), bumbling team leader Richard (Tim McInnerny), gawky Jill (Claudie Blakley) and disaffected Harris (Toby

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Stephens).

Screenwriter James Mason understands the staples of a good horror film but Severance is so heavy-handed in its execution that it quickly becomes a chore. It is also a gruelling exercise at times, finding humour in grotesquery that raises only confusion as to exactly what tone the filmmakers were aiming for.

If irony is at the core of such filmmaking mediocrity, then it is unfortunately one that will be lost on the common garden Friday night audience soaking up cheap scare by the fistful.

What should be a simple concept is further convoluted through the injection of political rhetoric; the potentially odious use of Eastern European war crazies as the bogeymen taking revenge upon the uncaring corporate entity of Palisade that helped destroy their homes.

“I am so sorry to the people of Eastern Europe,” says writer James Mason, when asked about the apparent post-Hostel trend of the former Soviet republics as an increasingly prevalent horror staple. He goes on to claim that his vision for the film has remained intact from conception to execution, having avoided what he

calls 'Hollywood rape'.

Director Chris Smith also admits that some scenes, such as the macarbe demise of one particular character by flamethrower, played out funnier on set.

The employment of a visual gag in which the antagonist's matches fail to spark despite his access to said weapon is sullied by the look of abject terror on the petrol-doused victim's face, which tends to negate such feelings of mirth to all but the most starved of the black in their black comedy.

In fairness, Smith has the capacity of a skilful visual artist, employing bravado camerawork that holds the attention when the rest of the film falters. The opening sequence in particular, where a shot spins 180 degrees to show a recently pig-stuck man hanging from a tree the right way up while his blood pours against the flow of gravity is an interesting indicator of the topsyturvy chaos to follow.

“

“I am so sorry to the people of Eastern Europe” Screenwriter James Mason

He also claims he had to 'up the game' directorially from his debut Creep, as Severance involved horror set in daylight scenarios in woodland areas, an antithesis to the subway-set claustrophobia of his previous effort.

He was able to secure the exact cast he originally envisioned, with the first 40 minutes or so of the picture as an exercise in building atmosphere to make the audience care more for the characters. If any attempt was made to balance the humour with some semblance of pathos then it must be the one achievement the filmmakers' succeeded in subtlety, because such emotion is not visible here.

As a master class in horror comedy the filmmakers could have learnt a lot from John Landis’ pinnacle, An American Werewolf in London.

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FILM LADY IN THE WATER Dir: M. Night Shyamalan Starring: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard Out Now, 110 mins

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t seems that the puzzle pieces didn't fit and so were hammered in defiantly to create the meandering, disjointed mess that is Lady In The Water. Every element is painfully contrived in an attempt to hold together a frightfully flawed plot. Many characters in the film seem like afterthoughts - necessitated through desperation to force a bumbling storyline into coherency.

It sounds like a sweet idea to turn a bedtime story that writer/director M.Night Shyamalan tells to his children into a fantasy film for adults, but I have to wonder - do they even like it? This should have stayed a story for children - they’re less critical of substandard plots.

The best I can say about this selfindulgent and all-too-self-conscious film is that it has a great leading actor in Paul Giamatti, who will hopefully pull you through the wreckage with his humour and see you safe.

Disney executives must be feeling very proud for not jumping onboard of Shyamalan's newest ego trip. It's just a shame he didn't jump onboard with their misgivings. Maybe his sanity was impaired by the prospect of being a leading character in his own drivel, launching that acting career he’s always dreamed of. Maybe then he'll find something he's good at, because I don't think this writing and directing lark is working out for him.

I'm sad to say there's no twist to this film, it was exactly as I expected - just another disappointing tale from M. Night Shyamalan.

Sam Jones

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TIDELAND: Snakes...in a field!

TIDELAND

A SCANNER DARKLY

Dir: Terry Gilliam Starring: Jodelle Ferland, Jeff Bridges, Brendan Fletcher

Dir: Richard Linklater Starring: Keanu Reeves, Woody Harrelson, Robert Downey Jr. Out Now, 100 mins

Out Now, 120 mins

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ideland offers a refreshing return to form from Terry Gilliam following the garbled Brothers Grimm.

That film had been a battle for creative control with the notorious Weinsteins. Here, there is no signs of such conflict. Jeliza-Rose (the excellent Ferland) embarks upon imaginative flights of fancy when she moves to a prairie with her washedup wannabe rock star dad (Bridges) following the death of her junkie mother (Tilly). She makes friends with a mentally disabled man named Dickens (Fletcher) who shares her active imagination.

A beautifully composed curio, what it lacks in narrative drive it makes up for in energy and imagination (see the dream sequence where JelizaRose swims through her submerged prairie house). It also provides preparation for a similar dark fairy tale in Guillermo del Toro’s Spanish-language Pan’s Labyrinth and it will be interesting to compare the two. Until then though, enjoy a slice of cinema pie from the mind of one of America’s great underdog auteurs.

Ewen Hosie

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inklater’s A Scanner Darkly is one of the better attempts in recent times at a Philip K. Dick adaptation, (see Blade Runner or Total Recall).

Here Linklater uses an apt visual style to envisage P. K. Dick's personal drug experiences, revisiting the aesthetic employed in Waking Life.

By rotoscoping the live action with animation, and visualising the addicts’ experiences of paranoia and perceptual distortions, Linklater achieves the best drug fest displayed on the silver screen since Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream.

The casting works surprisingly well, with yet another comedic but insane turn by Robert Downey Jr, while Keanu Reeves is perfectly acceptable as Arctor, who is the victim of 'cross-cutting' as the hemispheres of his brain compete.

These Orwellian hints are only the start as A Scanner Darkly serves to not necessarily answer, but question control over thought and self-destruction. Perplexing stuff. Ryan Owen

TWENTYNINE

FILM

dvds

new releases

S re-releases

ANGEL HEART Out August 21st lan Parker's Angel Heart is an underappreciated classic, marking a time when Mickey Rourke was the new Brando and its director was riding the crest of a burgeoning wave of British directors who cracked Hollywood through their stints in advertising (see Ridley Scott et al).

Robert De Niro is unnerving in his performance as Devil incarnate Louis Cyphre, who hires PI Harry Angel (Rourke) to investigate a singer named Johnny Favourite in sticky Louisiana. When people start dying in mysterious ways however, he learns to question first his eyes and eventually his sanity. Angel Heart is a film which demands repeat viewing.

Ewen Hosie

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SILENT HILL Out September 4th ilent Hill is a success in replicating the aesthetic of the original game on which it is based, at times replicating shots from the game in their entirety, but its narrative often fails to inspire.

The cinematography is often painterly, in the manner of a Francis Bacon-esque nightmare: all grime, filth and squalor. It is too long however, with a confused climax and little for Sean Bean, in his role as Rose's husband to do other than drive the plot forward. Silent Hill represents a flawed but intriguing premise and is one of the better game-to-film adaptations. Ewen Hosie

Bateman’s best THE MAGICIAN Out August 21st mockumentary in the vein of Man Bites Dog and The Last Horror Movie with the cracking comedy of Chopper.

Scott Ryan gives an understated performance in this a highly character-driven piece as a hitman, combining improvised dialogue with very accomplished editing. Aesthetically reminiscent of Wolf Creek and the Dogme movement, The Magician is successful in its facades of verity.

Upon repeated viewings, The Magician is even better. This is the work of a gifted filmmaker.

Ryan Owen

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music doc THE DEVIL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON Out August 21st art musical freakshow and part study of a mental illness this film is gripping viewing.

Following Daniel from the highs (his MTV appearance and his early 90s "comeback" show at SXSW) to the lows (seeing Satan everywhere after taking LSD, being committed several times, the incident with his dad’s plane) using the Johnston family's extensive collection of photos and films and Daniel's own lettertapes that he sent to friends as narration.

You can ignore the sickingly brown nosed commentary by Jeff Feuerzeig though.

Simon Stone

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THIRTY

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QUENCH MAGAZINE > CARDIFF’S AWARD-WINNING STUDENT MAGAZINE

WANTED

Feature writers, fashion critics, website designers, music critics, proof-readers, book critics, designers, film critics, food critics, interviewers, arts critics, sub editors, website managers, and all manner of people to help us make the lovely publication that is Quench every fortnight

Sign-up at the Freshers’ fayres, or come up to the fourth floor of the Students’ Union and ask a friendly face how to get involved

ARTS

The art scene

There’s plenty of arty stuff to see and do in the fair city of Cardiff, so grab your Quench guide and get cultured WALES MILLENNIUM CENTRE (left) Cardiff Bay

The West End of Cardiff

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his impressive new theatre in the Bay is a great attraction to visit as a newcomer to Cardiff, whether you go to see a show or just to have a gawp.

The WMC is the place to see the big West End touring shows and get a taste of the world-renowned Welsh National Opera.

The studio venue shows smallerscale touring productions and ticket prices for these definitely fit into the student budget. It’s also possible to snap up tickets at bargain prices for the big shows. Welsh National Opera perform Tristan and Isolde on September 30 to October 7 and October 10-28 welcomes Guys and Dolls to the stage.

CHAPTER ARTS Canton

Cardiff’s hidden gem

NATIONAL MUSEUM AND GALLERY Park Place

Free fun

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he National Museum and Gallery is conveniently located in the civic centre, alongside university buildings and the City Hall.

The gallery hosts an impressive variety of exhibitions and the museum’s main collection is also worth a look. Half a Century of Innovation in Welsh Art runs until December 11.

Entrance is free.

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theatre, cinema, gallery, bar and café all in one is definitely worth the trek beyond Cathays. It specialises in showing foreign, arthouse and classic films and is also the place to watch fresh and contemporary theatre.

For those feeling adventurous, we recommend Thalidomide!! A Musical on October 20-21.

Aside from the arts, Chapter’s biggest selling point is its bar, which sells a wide variety of alcohol.

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CF10

Cardiff Students’ Union Breakfasts by day...

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F10 plays host to regular drum ‘n’ bass nights where you are given the opportunity

SHERMAN THEATRE Cathays

Theatre for all

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his cheap and cheerful venue is situated right next door to the Students’ Union, so you have no excuse not to visit.

The Sherman showcases the best of up-and-coming young talent, including regular performances by the students at the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama, as well hosting some great comedy and touring productions.

Coming up on October 3 is comedian Ed Byrne and his unique take on modern life. December 6-7 sees the return of the unmissable Mark Thomas. Students receive a discount on very reasonably priced tickets.

to display your own MC talents.

Every Tuesday during term time CF10 also plays host to the Comedy Club. The best of British humour comes to the Union weekly, so for an evening of hilarious stand-up with cheap Union drink prices check it out, especially as tickets are only £4.

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ARTS THE GATE Roath

Open to all

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NEW THEATRE Park Place

(above)

Old time favourite

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urrounded by beautiful civic centre buildings and situated directly across from the popular club Creation, the New Theatre provides an alternative beginning to the typical student night out.

With an ever-changing variety of shows, from West-End musicals to

THE GLEE CLUB Cardiff Bay

Visit with glee

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he Glee club is a great place to go for a fun night filled with laughter. Throughout the evening you will be entertained by three different comedy acts then treated afterwards to an old-school style disco.

Coming to the Glee on September 14 is The Stand Up Comedy Show with Alistair Barrie as compere and experienced comedians Gavin Webster and Steve Best. A mystery guest will also be performing.

Student tickets are only £5.50.

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Shakespearian classics, the theatre boasts something for everyone.

Coming to the theatre on September 12 is The Safari Party, a deliciously dark comedy with a soapfamous cast. A trio of county households are holding a dinner party and as the evening progresses shocking layers of truth and deception are revealed. Tickets are from £7 or you can take advantage of theatre’s offer: turn up on the night and get any unsold tickets for only a fiver.

ST. DAVID’S HALL

he Gate is a state-of-the art venue complete with a theatre, dance studio, art gallery and café bar. It is packed with entertainment, including dance classes, dramatic performances and exhibitions.

The cafe bar often plays host to open mic nights and with regular live music it is the ideal place to go for a relaxed night out. Jazz Tuesdays at the Gate’s café bar begin again on September 26. This is a jam night for musicians and jazz lovers alike and takes place on the last Tuesday of each month. Tickets are only £3.

GALLERIES

Around the city Have an art attack

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ardiff is home to many small galleries, including g39, the Martin Tinney gallery, Capsule and BayArt. Go for a wander around town and see what little gems you come across.

(left)

The Hayes, City Centre

Classical and contemporary

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his large hall provides an array of entertainment for all. It is renowned for its music, holding live performances from the likes of James Blunt to concerts by the Welsh National orchestra.

St. David’s also stages live comedy with the new Laughing Matters season showcasing some of Britain’s top comedians of the moment. Coming to the hall on September 12 is Andrew Maxwell, Channel Four’s ‘King of comedy’, and Simon Bodkin, one of Britain’s most exciting new comedians.

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GOING OUT

Been there, done that No idea where to go and what to do in your space time?

Two third years tell you about their favourite places

Ben Bryant recommends...

Eating

If you need a mid-term break from getting groped in the Philharmonic, try Buffalo Bar (above).

Relatively new and pretty classy, it has seen some excellent live music and local DJs. Atmosphere is chilled and it's pricey, but the cocktails ’t have to be tried Don once. iss

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THIRTYFOUR

In Cardiff there's as much good, cheap food as there is overpriced rubbish. Generally speaking, Cathays and Roath around the Union provide the best value for money, while city centre restaurants are reserved for those catering on daddy's salary. Embassy café in the community centre opposite Lidl is a popular place to hang out (although not as popular as the overrated Kappucino's across the road) and has some of the best value food in Cardiff. They also do evening meals on weekends. AJ's Coffee House makes me feel all warm inside and has good hangover food. I go in there when I'm missing my mummy. Cafe Calcio is a man-hole full of man posters that serves obscenely vast, cheap breakfasts.

If you want to impress a date, there are a lot of good places to go without draining your loan. The Armless Dragon in Cathays is excellent (if pricey), and vegetarians with time to kill could do a lot worse than check out Greenhouse on Woodville Road.

King takeaway is Vegetarian Food Studio. An acclaimed restaurant in its own right, they do a student deal of £3.50 for a set menu, delivered to your halls of residence/house. The downside is that you have to order before 4pm on 02920 238222 (delivery around 7-8pm). Chicago Bulls in Cathays is the stuff of legend, and serves any other takeaway food you can think of. I don't even have to mention the black hole that is Chippy Lane, that Charlotte Church once described as 'classy', and that everybody even-

tually gets sucked into for (quite nice) chips.

Going Out You will have already been bombarded with leaflets from Liquid offering cheap drinks, strippers, live sex shows, free money and other improbable things. It's a bit disappointing when you find out that it isn't a harem of concubines and rent boys.

Clwb Ifor Bach, colonially renamed 'The Welsh Club', has atmosphere and is extra popular upstairs on Wednesdays with indie kids; lite-funk downstairs. Metros is also a huge 'alternative' student hangout and plays ska, indie, metal and rock. Try it on Wednesdays or Fridays when it's very cheap and has that teen-y slushy carpet feel. Moloko on 7 Mill Lane (near chippy lane) is another good alternative club. Hip-hop, drum 'n' bass and live MCs, as well as 60+ different types of vodka; try it on Wednesdays and weekends.

Check out The Hawaiian at 19 City Road for a good acoustic night and free food; all for about £4! Batucada Basics is a must: Brazilian funk happening irregularly at The Model Inn on Quay street near the Millenium Stadium - check the flyers. A Shot In The Dark at 12 City Road bridges the gap between café and bar. It's a bit dark during the day, but it's open late and is still a popular place to hang out. They also run a good comedy night every Sunday. Finally, at least once you have to do the Risa / Jumping Jacks combo. It's rammed with students, I promise.

GOINGOUT@GAIRRHYDD.COM

GOING OUT Going Out Editor Rachel Clare recommends...

Blackweir Tavern: North Road Right on course into town for students at Talybont, this cosy pub is a must for the first drink of the night. It’s a focal point in the summer with a front grass beer garden. In the first few weeks of semester this pub gets packed with freshers.

The End: Coburn Street, Cathys This is a lovely big pub with comfy seats, bargain drinks and cheap food. All the food is under £3, so you don’t need to feel guilty about spending your student loan here. This is a popular starting point for pub crawls through Cathays.

Gassy Jacks: Salisbury Road, Cathays More like a bar than a pub, Gassy’s has a chic interior but prices that are still decidely student. The menu is great for students with big appetites as you get to choose either regular, large or kingsize portion sizes.

Bar Cuba: The Friary, City Centre If you have Latin spirit in you and fancy a cheap drink to start off your evening, Bar Cuba is for you. Their happy hour on friday night starts at 7pm. Different nights offer different music: check out the world music nights for all things Cuban.

Daiquiris: Salisbury Road, Cathays Daiquiris is hidden gem on Salisbury Road. The Mexican decor makes it very atmospheric in the evening, while the quick service makes it ideal to pop into for lunch as well. It has a great choice of Mexican food.

China China: St Mary’s Street This cheap and cheerful Chinese buffet restaurant offers as much food as you like for very cheap prices. The seating is a little canteen style but makes the atmosphere very relaxed.

The Brewery Quarter: St Mary’s Street Contains the restaurants you would usually find in cities, but in a beautriful setting. Here you will find Chiquitos, La Tasca, Mo Potters and Yard. The Brewery Quarter also has a great outdoor atmosphere.

Kayleigh Excell talks about her favourite places to relax in Cardiff Bute Park Bute Park is a great place to spend a sunny day.

Once the grounds of Cardiff Castle, the park is an excellent place to escape in the busy capital.

Play Frisbee with your flat mates or have a picnic with that special someone.

It’s close to most halls of residence and offers that much-needed tranquillity during Freshers’ week.

Cineworld Cineworld is the ultimate cinema in Cardiff. They do student deals and screen a refreshingly diverse range of films, from Hollywood blockbusters to independents and world cinema. It’s located in the centre of town, opposite the Cardiff International Arena. t

’ Don Miss

Cardiff Bay

Packed with trendy restaurants and bars, the Bay is always packed and buzzing with atmosphere.

The Asian Spice Box: Woodville Road, Cathays A great takeaway on Woodville Road where you can design your own curry. You choose from one or more ingredients (such as chicken, mince meat, prawns, egg, veg) and then choose the flavour. They also sell their own curry powder.

GOINGOUT@GAIRRHYDD.COM

THIRTYFIVE

Getting fresh Nine simple rules for dating during Freshers’ week

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Ronald McDonald is apparently the second most recognised face in the world because his ‘smile is known everywhere’. Follow this advice, because nobody wants to make friends with the grumpy person.

Even celebs like Sienna Miller/ Robbie Williams get messed around by guys/ girls. If you face rejection in the first few weeks of university, don’t let it get you down. Pull yourself together and get back out there.

During the first week or so of university you’ll spend most of your days queuing, so take this opportunity to chat to that hot guy/ girl in front of you. It’ll give you something to do and you might get a date out of it.

Join a society. They are a great way to meet lots of people who have similar interests to you. Don’t worry if everybody seems to know each other already, just join in. Everybody wants to make friends.

Have a look around the city during the first few days. It is so helpful to discover where places are early on. Plus, you won’t get lost meeting that hot guy/girl for a blind date.

Make the most of Freshers’ week and try out different clubs and bars. Get an idea of where the people you’d like to meet go.

You’re probably not going to find the love of your life at a Traffic Light party, or anytime during Freshers’ week, so enjoy the fun while it lasts.

Finally, if the thought of approaching someone of the opposite sex makes you too nervous, why not send us an email and get the chance to be set up on one of our blind dates. Just send us your name, course, age, a bit about yourself and the kind of person you’d like to meet. Any sex or sexuality welcome!

Girlfriend-shaped hole in your life? Got the boyfriend blues? Email blinddate@gairrhydd.com and Quench will help you search for your perfect partner

BLINDDATE@GAIRRHYDD.COM

STOP: Don’t ovedo it at the Traffic Light party

BLIND DATE Little Miss Blind Date

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here are many rules that you learn in life. ‘Thou shalt not work with children or animals’, for example. Along with these valuable lessons comes one of the most important: ‘Thou shalt not covet your new housemate.’

One that I chose to disregard.

Maybe it was the debauched lifestyle, but I decided that my new housemate was what I had always been looking for. As far as I was concerned, my days of languishing in the single kingdom were over.

I was rising earlier every morning, straightening every last wisp of hair and choosing my outfits with painstaking attention to detail. In the kitchen, I was determined to prove myself the definitive domestic goddess, envisaging Nigella Lawson rather than Delia Smith, I must to add.

Three burnt lasagnes and a singed fringe later, the truth was becoming increasingly clear: my fabulous Mr Fresher was, well, still fabulous, but completely uninteresting.

And that was the problem. He smiled vacantly when my housemates and I discussed anything other than how lairy we’d got the night before.

My freshers’ fantasy fizzled out at the end of the fortnight after another night at the Union. Stumbling up the stairs to our flat, my housemates and I were greeted with the sight of Mr Fresher passed out by the front door, vomit splattering his Che Guevara tshirt and Gavin Henson hair. In his hands were clasped a toilet brush and a signed photo of Karl Kennedy.

The next day saw me back in my jeans and in The Social in Talybont, all traces of the domestic goddess safely hidden under a pile of dirty washing.

THIRTYSEVEN

BACKCHAT

SPECIAL

T unnel Vi s i o n

subtitles might seem like a nice gesed by Fearne Cotton’, but the secture, but believe me, they’re just ond, and slightly more relevant taunting you. example being ‘regional variations’.

So, Channel 4 is now pretty much Being from Somerset, this inevitably dead to you. No more T4, no more means that some programme about Hollyoaks, no more The O.C., no cream teas or pub gardens or hill more hilarious piss-take documenwalking would be on. I’m sure the taries about fat people under the situation isn’t much better where guise of social commentary. Just you are from. I’d imagine that if stuff in Welsh and repeats of dayyou’re from, say Glasgow, you get

By TV Graeme time quiz shows. Brilliant. programmes about heroin and the Knows good TV (and bad Welsh TV) When I first encountered this homeless, or if you’re from London it’ll be about being an ignorant, cock- problem I rushed immediately out to o not fear, Hollyoaks hasn’t purchase a super strong television ney ponce (hey, back off, I’m only replaced its conveyor belt of aerial. This worked a little, but I’m preparing you for the barrage of generic lads mag totty with pretty certain Plaid Cymru (the politiregional sterotypes your awful flat ugly Welsh people, it’s just that the cal party of Wales) found out and mates are going to be throwing at university prospectus failed to menbegan to scramble the signal and you. It makes me a farmer anyway. tion one vitally important issue, for that any Welsh people in my halls of Obviously). fear that you might disregard comresidence were ensuring they were S4C is one giant, bastard regioning to study here. always on their mobile phones so al variation. The main issue of variNow, this is a Quench aimed at that the picture disappeared comance being making rubbish versions you freshers. Which I think means pletely. From ALL channels. No of Channel 4 programmes in Welsh, that the other sections will be trying English for me. Before I knew it I and sticking English subtitles at the to introduce you to Wales by informwas driven out of my bedroom and ing you of all the hot spots and gear- bottom. Case in point: Welsh forced to talk to my flatmates. And ing you up for student life. This intro- Language soap Pobol y Cwm. The look where that got me. Exactly. duction will be primarily based Of course, you could be the sort around the lie that, yeah, you may of person that didn’t feel the need have been repulsive to the opposite to bring a TV to university. In which sex your whole life, but now you are case your self-confidence and social at university the person of your skills sicken me and as soon as you dreams will be here, and you will join revert to the student stereotype that the same societies and then they we all become, you’ll be clamouring will get drunk and then they will kiss for the nearest telly so you can you ON THE MOUTH!! Probably not watch Neighbours. going to happen, but at least you’ll still have television.

I could have written a bit about cliched student viewing, but I couldn’t bare to have to make another Countdown/ Deal Or No Deal joke, so instead, I introduce to you foreigners to: S4C. When flicking through my TV guide, there is always one phrase which can strike fear and anguish deep into my soul. Well actually, POBOL Y CWM CAST: Where's Becka Dean? there’s two, the first being ‘present-

D

No more hilarious piss-take documentaries about fat people under the guise of social commentary

“

THIRTYEIGHT

TELEVISION@GAIRRHYDD.COM

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