Quench - Issue 66

IN

T H E CITY

B-BOYS & B-GIRLS HIGH CONTRAST ALFIE ALLEN PLUS: EUAN FERGUSON SAVE THE POINT!

contents : Issue 66 - 28th April 2008 FASHION

This issue the boys strike a pose and get suited and booted with a modern twist

p.09

“when I was told that the warm up consisted of

spinning on your

head, the nerves kicked in” VOYEUR - - - - - - - - - - - - p.04 DEBATE - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.06 SOFIE - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - p.07 FEATURES - - - - - - - - - - - p.14 INTERVIEWS - - - - - - - - - p.18 TRAVEL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.24 GOING OUT- - - - - - - - - p.27 FOOD - - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.28

FEATURES

p.14

After the clash of Cardiff and Swansea in last week’s breakdancing Battle Royale, Quench’s Chris Rogers gives break dancing a go

BLIND DATE - - - - - - - - - p.30 GAY - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.31 DIGITAL - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.33 ARTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.36 BOOKS - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.38 CULT CLASSICS - - - - - - p.40 MUSIC - - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.41 FILM - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - p.49

Front Cover image by Ed Salter Editor Ben Bryant Executive Editor Amy Harrison Deputy Editor Sim Eckstein Assistant to the Editors Elaine Morgan Arts Amy Grier, Tasha Prest-Smith Blind Date Hazel Plush Books Tom Williams Cult Classics Gareth Mogg Debate Aisling Tempany Digital Dom Mukwamba-Sendall Fashion Jo Butler, Mary Parkes Features Gillian Couch, Chris Rogers, Jim Whiteley Film Sim Eckstein, Will Hitchins Food Kath Petty, Daniel Smith Gay Andy Tweddle Going Out Lucy Rowe, Amelia Thomas Interviews Michael BatesonHill, Lucinda Day, Annika Henderson Music Kyle Ellison, Francesca Jarvis, Si Truss Travel Jim Finucane, Kirsty Page Photography Sophie Pycroft, Ed Salter Proof Readers Becky Ganz, Andy Swidenbank, Hazel Plush, Kath Petty, Laurel Burn, Aisling Tempany

voyeur

W

{Voyeur}

PHOTO: AMY HARRISON

hen people write ‘lol’, nobody actually believes that they’re laughing out loud. It’s just a token gesture; an expression that most of us stopped using when we realised that, actually, people who still hammer ‘lol’ into their keypad are either excitable pre-teens or spineless twats.

Let’s be clear about this: ‘lol’ has no place in textual communication, and therefore deserves no further comment. Kisses, little xxxxs, on the other hand, are different.

Kind of like the post-pubescent version of ‘lol’, the kiss is another abbreviation that doesn’t mean what it claims to mean and that people write at the end of every text. But this one has history. It’s been around for a while. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that, even though it’s virtually meaningless, it has a place in text speak.

But what is that place? Do you need to be reassuring the other person that you’re friends? Usually, when somebody you don’t know that well throws you a textual kiss or two, they’re either saying a) I like you or b) I’d like you to like me. Or both.

But either way, a kiss is emotional manipulation, a kind of symbolic way of making a rapport that doesn’t really exist with a person you don’t really know that well.

My friends often use them when they want things, which I cynically feel is a little tug on the heartstrings - a below-the-belt reminder of how we’re good friends. Still, despite my cynicism, I am a believer in spreading the love, even when it’s simulated, and therefore feel that the kiss has a place in a textual world.

Kisses can never be trusted, of course, because they are never deployed with sincerity and can prefigure long nights of ‘He only gave me one x; what does that mean?’ type questions. So just respect them for what they are: dirty fraudsters.

BB x

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..

E-SHOPPER

Sushi pillow.

“HAND-PAINTED ‘SHRIMP’ TOP AND A SOFT VELVET ‘RICE’ BOTTOM. THE PERFECT ITEM FOR ALL YOU SUSHI FANS” £27.72 www.spiralandcirclegift.com

SAVE THE POINT! One of Cardiff’s most stunning and individual live music venues, The Point, is under threat of closure from its neigbours.

Turn to page 43 to find out how to save it.

.

Amber Duval

voyeur

.....

THIS ISSUE: Amber takes a trip to the

10 FEET TALL

“

launch party

A

s regular readers of my column will be aware, my sheer celebrity status in and around Cardiff means that I’m forced to shirk public appearances at almost every opportunity, or risk hordes of limpety commoners gnawing at my ankles and drooling on my Jimmy Choos.

However, there are times when I venture beyond the limits of my dear departed Ernie’s mansion and its regular supply of wagyu, mojitos, freshers, etc. and manoeuvre myself in the general direction of the grotty little city centre and its woeful attempts at sophistication and style.

Imagine my surprise, therefore, when the launch party at Ten Feet Tall turned out to be an intelligent blend of vaudeville elegance and antiquarian bookseller chic.

Of course, there was the usual rabble of filthy hipsters with their stick-on ‘taches and trucker hats that one might predict this offshoot of Buffalo bar to spawn, but on the volume III whole I rather enjoyed the odd matching of musical acts (Kids in Glass Houses and The Jones O’Connor Group on the same bill? Heavens!) and got despicably drunk as a result, flashing my kebab to Now accepting submissions for Volume any passing burlesque twat III of Creative Words - the creative who was unfortunate enough writing supplement of gair rhydd. to glance in my direction.

Well, when in Rome...

gairrhydd

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FEATURES

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2.200 OCTOBER.2

gairrhydd.COM

FEATURES@

ts

sen gairrhydd pre

Volume II 7 Winter 200

SHOWCASE YOUR WRITING!

Please send all submissions (max 1500 words) to books@gairrhydd.com

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creative words

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Fall 2007 dents iversity stu Cardiff Un writing by y of creative log An antho

Volume II

voyeur@gairrhydd.com /

05

debate

Solus

VS

THE

CITY

Rubber Duck is no more. But should we even go to Solus, or is the plethora of clubs in the nearby city centre far more appealing?

R

ubber Duck may not have been up to much, but that doesn’t mean all the Union nights are rubbish. Fun Factory is free, and all the drinks are cheap.

All unions have their own club nights throughout the week, and yeah, some of those are going to be more successful than others. There is a diverse range of student nights, and they are all trying to appeal to a different student group.

If you want to meet up with people from your course, or people on other courses, most of the time you’ll really only find them in the university, in either the Taf or Solus. Go into the city centre, and you meet all sorts, and some weird old guy will try and feel up your skirt, in some dank dark hole you’ve probably paid nearly £6 to get into, and then nearly £10 just trying to get one drink. Sure the Union bars are always really crowded, but that’s probably because the prices are not extortionate. It’s the same alcohol everywhere.

It’s good to see the rest of the city, but its also good sometimes to stick with what, and where you know. Going to any club night in Solus does not suggest a lack of personality or adventure. Going to different places does not even say you have wider interests, not if they all play the same stuff every week.

The Union reflects a majority taste.

People with obscure interests in jazzfolk rock will find their tastes catered for somewhere else, but excuse some of us if we don’t want to listen to this obscure stuff as well. Some of us just want cheap drinks, cheap nights out, in a place that’s easy to find.

Vanessa Preston

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A

“

The very size of the Union means it struggles to recreate the cosiness of Clwb Ifor Bach or the grittiness of Metros

s part of one of the biggest (and let’s not forget best) cities and universities in the UK, the Students’ Union should be a vital and exciting part of the nightlife and the centrepoint of student nights out. The brilliance of not having to travel to Bristol or London to see half-decent bands was a big part of why I chose to come here, but the Prospectus’s claims that it is the ‘biggest and best Union’ are sadly as concrete as the foundations of Talybont Court.

The news that Rubber Duck closed down came as a surprise. Perhaps not though when you consider some of the comparable nights in town.

In place of Rubber Duck there is Revolution, Oceana, Clwb Ifor Bach (Welsh Club) and if you are on the cheap and dirty end, there is even Metros. Given the choice it’s a bit poor that the Union has done nothing to compete. The very size of the Union means it struggles to recreate the cosiness of Clwb Ifor Bach or the grittiness of Metros and the music is at best mundane, repetitive and at its best is ripped straight from the NME’s (s)crapbook of indie music. Clwb Ifor Bach, meanwhile, boasts three comfy floors, with three different vibes, and free vodka shots for the less refined among us.

Perhaps, though, I just feel treated a little nicer in town. The Union feels less student friendly as a night out than it should. Sometimes though, it’s also good to mix sometimes, and realise that there is more to life, and more to Cardiff than the road from Talybont to Park Place (Yes, such a place exists!)

Lloyd Griffiths

n o s n i k n e Sofie J

sofie

Ding dong the bells are gonna chime

I

f it hasn’t happened to you already my friends, it will start soon. I’m not talking end of term anxiety or beans on toast every night, I’m talking weddings.

Once you have ventured into the waters of your twenties the landslide of matrimonial angst begins to flow. If you’re lucky it starts with a few distant relatives tying the not, easing you in gradually and then maybe a family friend here or there. Then suddenly…BAM! and every blighter seems to be doing it. As the evenings get lighter and more airy and the wedding season really hits its stride sometimes you can’t help wondering who’s going to be next down the aisle.

Weddings are a minefield of social misdemeanour and fashion faux pa, mark my words. It all starts getting a bit serious when it’s your own friends that start contemplating the old ball and chain because unlike the odd wall post and poke on facebook this is where friendships can really make or break.

With friends it will, most likely, start with a trickle at first. A couple from school who have been going out since they were born or a slightly older work colleague.

But sure enough the flood gates will begin to open.

To illustrate the possible plight that you may face during the next 10 – 15 years of your life, in what I like to call the “Low Flying Bouquet Zone” I will now outline a key areas to watch out for.

INVITATIONS: Namely receiving them. This is an area that I find myself particularly at odds with, in that I very rarely receive any. I have, as it stands, only been invited to one of my own friend’s weddings, a marriage which has since, shall we say, passed on. This could have been the beginning to my ‘wedding curse’ which has resulted in me being missed off various guestlists over the recent years and one of my oldest friends handing out invitations to everybody else in front of me. You’ve heard of always the bridesmaid never the bride? Well I’m always the friend never the guest, please to meet you!

So yes, there are a lot of social politics involved with the invitation process which can be a little hard to take at times, but what it does mean is that the longer you wait to get married the easier the guestlist will be to write. There, of course, an outside chance that rumours

my party hard wedding style have spread, thus explaining my wedding curse.

MUMS: And I’m not just talking the Mother of the Bride here. This is an area to be particularly weary of if you are attending with your own Mother, keeping tabs on the volume of champagne being consumed during the speeches is key.

My Mum have already got outfits hung up on the door for the two weddings she has coming up in the summer, from hat to shoes. This is the kind of over zealous planning that will guarantee the other side of a few glasses to consist of the leopard print handbag being swung around her head as she gets into the second rendition of ‘Do You Think I’m Sexy’ my Rod Stewart. It is for these types of situations that the quite ridiculously long tablecloths at weddings come into their own, although there are others.

FOOD: Eating is cheating but sometimes necessary.

Although this isn’t mutually exclusive to weddings, peaking too early is not good wedding etiquette.

FREE ALCOHOL: Obviously go to town on this, although it is important to check whether there is any kind of system of monitoring. It has been known to lead to a punishment in the pub the morning after involving seeing off yet more beer – ouch.

DANCING: Stick to what you know: the YMCA and the Macarena. If at a caleigh then you should be fairly safe but watch out for older drunker relatives (of anyone) who may fling you more than your stomach would like to be flung.

PULLING: And here we come to the second use of the overly long tablecloths. Weddings, they say, are a very good place to meet people, whether it is a fancy piece or your future spouse. Just make sure you aren’t distant relatives first.

And there you have it. If you are lucky you will experience pure unadulterated wedding party joy, meet many new and interesting people and possibly have a new found respect for love. Weddings have many pitfalls but they are usually brilliant. Unfortunately the curse prevents my attendance at the majority. June 2008 is my next chance so it really is time to get the outfit sorted and the stand-by box of confetti at the ready.

Weddings are a minefield of social misdemeanour and fashion faux pas

sofie@gairrhydd.com /

07

fashion

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Photographer: Jake Yorath Models: Dan Smith, Andy Tweddle

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09

fashion

Let’s face it, David Beckham is gorgeous. He takes pride in his appearance, is fashion-forward (remember that sarong!) and has now become the new face of Armani. In a society that puts such emphasis on looking good, Becks epitomises the new breed of men that are not afraid to hold their groomed heads high: the metrosexual! Yes, it is true gals- we’ve got competition in the style stakes! Chic gentlemen now walk amongst the male population, viewing fashion as a hobby and not a necessity, and look all the better for it.

Unfortunately, this selection of kindred spirits is a small sample of the male population, who, in the majority, would still rather repeatedly wear the same pair of socks rather than make the trip into the busy shops to buy new ones.

Men who believe that fashion belongs to women! Don’t get me wrong, women love their shopping; we account for 85% of all consumer spending (oops!), but why not get in on the action boys?! We know it can be daunting- trawling around busy shops without a clue, but women don’t just love good clothes on themselves they appreciate it on you too! So grab a shopping wingman, or (if not) get onto the internet (no lines, no pressure and style tips!), and update with some basics! Or, if you want to go bit further, grab yourself the check shirts, nautical stripes or faded denims that are everywhere this season! Maybe you won’t end up looking like ‘Golden balls’, but making the smallest bit of effort can go a long way, and get you more attention than you expect!

Amy Harrison

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fashion Male fashion of recent years has been overtaken by a wave of androgyny that completely stomps all over traditional gender roles. Men no longer shy away from the colour pink and are just as big a victim to budgie syndrome as women are. The fashion conscious male’s wardrobe would be nothing without the staple pair of black skinny fit jeans and an assortment of cardigans all complimented by dirty white converses. Their hair is painstakingly arranged to look effortlessly messy and thick rimmed black glasses are de rigueur. Men are more than willing to browse the women’s section to find the perfect fit jeans or more daring accessories. The age of the whatever-fits male has long gone and has been replaced by men who have a distinct ‘look’. This ‘look’ is largely influenced by musical genres from the timid indie lads through to the hardcore ravers; all these looks have been crafted to perfection.

The fashion industry has been quick to catch on with a whole host of male bands fronting big brands such as Patrick Wolfe for Burberry and Frank Carter of the Gallows for Junya Watanabe.

Modern men are finally getting their head round the ‘oh so dazzling’ world of fashion and it’s about time too.

Mariam Bashorun

fashion@gairrhydd.com /

11

fashion

12 / fashion@gairrhydd.com

fashion Men in makeup are the greatest fashion phenomenon since women in trousers. Male grooming has become more socially acceptable with hordes of products that were once considered feminine, such as moisturisers and hairspray being geared towards men. It is no longer an uncommon sight to see a metrosexual male with neatly plucked eyebrows and glazed in fake tan.

Make up is now being produced with men in mind. Companies such as KenMen Inc offer products such as concealer, mascara and guy-liner for an exclusively male clientele. Men are no longer ashamed to have a little help to make themselves body beautiful. Mariam Bashorun

Leah Eynon interviews The Teenagers It might be freezing cold on the top deck of a boat but somehow The Teenagers still manage to look cool in old school ski wear knitted hats and a mix of bomber jackets and smart black coats. Just like their music their dress sense is a dollop of indie cindy with a twist of electro geek, swapping their converse for high tops but still keeping in check with some skinny jeans. Dorian and Michael champion black thick rimmed specs, that are apparently not worn purely in the name of fashion but for genuine seeing purposes too. Quentin’s personal fashion pin-ups as well as a favourite of the band as a collective includes The Strokes. Adding that he became a music and fashion fan of theirs, “back in 2001 when they released Is This It?, They had a cool look, kind of scruffy and laid back but we’re not as rock and roll as them.” The band agree that the easiest way to dress when on tour and in general as a guy, is to load your wardrobe with these staple and mandatory band tees and cardigans. Their favourite place to shop is in London, picking up second hand items from charity and vintage shops. What defiantly gets the thumbs down from The Teenagers are people who wear sunglasses in the night, “that look is totally the wrong side of 1992.”

fashion@gairrhydd.com /

13

header

BREAK TIME

}

LAST MONDAY CARDIFF UNI B-BOYS AND B-GIRLS CUBS TOOK ON SWANSEA’S CRYPTIC STYLEZ IN THE FIRST EVER ANNUAL BATTLE ROYALE. BEN BRYANT WAS THERE TO WITNESS ‘THE OTHER VARSITY’...

I

t’s as if an invisible wall has been constructed around the dancefloor in Solus. The crowd are bubbling excitedly, lapping the fringes of the dancefloor. The two crews, Cardiff’s Cubs and Swansea’s Cryptic Stylez face off, standing opposite each other, sizing up the competition, stretching, and waiting.

Killer Tomato, evidently still buzzing from a killer set alongside DJ Format last month, is cranking up the atmosphere with a set of classic

14 / features@gairrhydd.com

breaks that will see Eric B & Rakim, James Brown and The Treacherous Three provide the soundtrack. And, thank god, throughout the course of this evening there is not even an inkling of Bomfunk MC’s (‘Freestyler!’) or the robot dance.

This is the birth of breakdancing at Cardiff Uni: the first time Cubs has officially battled Cryptic Stylez on its home turf, in the first year of Cardiff Breakdancing Society’s life.

It’s a Varsity with Fun Factory as its

home ground, trading boots and a rugby shirt for a pair of Nike Dunks and a beanie.

Let’s face it, Cardiff University is hardly the ghetto. But breaking has moved on since the ‘80s, even if its soundtrack hasn’t. To say that the two crews are diverse is an understatement. It’s a strange mix of styles, with people breaking in everything from full length Adidas tracksuits to combats and vest to a hipster uprocking in skinny jeans,

features which freaked everybody out a bit but was still very impressive.

It was all over too quickly, but it was pretty clear that every single person watching would spill onto the dancefloor, still buzzing and ready to move all night.

And the winner? Neither side seemed to want to call it.

Chris AKA Don Vito, head of Cryptic Stylez, nimbly avoided the question: “In the battle, it’s so heated that your mind gets clouded. I couldn’t tell you what moves went down in that battle.

You shut off. I think it was very even. Both crews had strong points and both crews had weak points.”

Mel wouldnt claim the win either: “Both teams were really good. Swansea has a bit more experience in terms of taunts.

Probably, for us, we need to have more confidence battling together.”

In terms of style, Cryptic Stylez looked stronger, with some great footwork and harsh taunts. But in terms of power, Cubs had all the cards, laying down routine after rountine and some big moves. Looks like there’s only one thing for it, then... rematch next year!

PHOTOS: Ed Salter

trucker hat and ‘tache. Chris, head of Cryptic Stylez, is keen to emphasise this inclusiveness: “A lot of myths about breaking are that you need to be strong and flexible…but it’s not true. Seriously, anybody can come along, it’s great fitness, and everybody’s so supportive”.

Once the crews start breaking, the build up to the big, power moves is gradual. The basic premise of battling is simple: it’s a dance off.

Teams stand opposite each other and take it in turns to throw b-boys and b-girls into the middle. The person who lays down the best moves gets the biggest cheer from the crowd, and the standard builds and builds until one team manages to psyche the other one out and prove their superiority. Yes, it really is like that Run DMC video.

There’s no judge, so it’s up to the audience to decide the winner with their cheers. Mel AKA Shortbread, a member of Cubs, informed me before the event that they were feeling ‘quite nervous’ since they didn’t have a lot of experience at battling.

Cubs definitely seem to take a little while to warm up, moving awkwardly from their toprock to footwork (standing to floor based moves) and risk throwing down all their power moves way too soon. Cryptic Stylez, meanwhile, sit back and relax for the first 15 minutes, laying down some smooth toprock and hurling taunts in Cardiff’s direction when they fail to meet them on the floor.

Once the two teams have settled into the atmosphere, however, things begin to gel. Cubs unleash a series of devastating, wellrehearsed, synchronised routines, followed by some huge, unexpected power moves, nailing windmills, headspins, backflips and flares.

They begin to look more confident and their breaking is smoother, more powerful and more consistent.

Cryptic Stylez look a little fazed, but respond with some power moves of their own, laying down windmills and some stylish uprock.

By this point, both teams are taunting and the atmosphere is electric. The peak of the battle came when Cryptic Stylez unleashed the bendiest man I have ever seen, who stood on his head with his legs on the floor and ran around his own body. I have no idea what that’s called, but the club erupted and Swansea looked smug. Cubs President Peter immediately responded by putting his legs behind his ears,

features@gairrhydd.com /

15

features PHOTO: Ed Salter

LEARNING HOW TO

BATTLE

BREAKDANCING: JUST FOR BENDY HIPSTERS OR A HOBBY FOR EVERYONE? CHRIS ROGERS TAKES A CLASS TO FIND OUT...

“J

ust follow the arrows to the aerobics suite” said the man at reception, “up the stairs, and along the corridor” – a walk that seemed to last an eternity, and sound-tracked by a steady beat of hip hop, which grew louder and louder as I approached.

As I pushed open the door to the room, it seemed to push back at me as if it were saying “you can’t break dance, look at you. Just because you have kitted yourself out in adidas shoes and a vest-top in a vain attempt to look the part, doesn’t mean you are not going to make a mockery of yourself” When I did get past the door, however, I was greeted with a warm smile and handshake by instructor, Trystan Cook, who explained that they were going to start in about ten minutes and those who were already there were just having a quick warm up. The fact that their warm up consisting of spinning on their heads, restored some of the old nerves back into me, but after the whole

16 / features@gairrhydd.com

class had stretched out and warmed up, we were divided into two groups; beginners and more experienced.

The group I was in was taken by Tom Porridge, who began with a short history of the dance, explaining that they prefer to call it Breaking rather than Breakdance.

“Breakdance is really a word that was made up when Breaking first got really popular in the 80s. But, by then, Breaking had already been around, in one form or another, for about fifteen years, and it had always been called Breaking, or bboying, or b-girling. When we use the word Breaking we are respecting the history of this dance and those early pioneers who made it possible for us to do it today.”

Tom then went on to explain how the very early influences of Breaking are usually traced back to the midseventies. “Around that time, in the poorer areas of New York, like the South Bronx, people were congregating for home-made parties in community centres or out in the streets.

As the party scene got more popular, more people came expressly to dance to the breaks. They would battle - or dance-off - to prove that they were the freshest, that you had the most original moves and the coolest style.”

As Breaking is all about expression, and “showing what you’ve got”, one of our exercises involved dancing, whilst pretending that we had either a new pair of shoes, or a belt, and moving in a manner to show it off. We were then taken through a few simple moves, which we put together at the end of the session to create a dance sequence. It was extremely satisfying to combine the moves I had learnt, and soon I was envisaging myself moving about the floor of Tiger Tiger, with a crowd circling around me - ok, calm down – this is only my first lesson.

For more information email breakdancesociety@cardiff.ac.uk or add the group on Facebook.

features

Under the influence ...this one goes out to the one I love Tom Williams gives a shout out to one of the most inspirational frontmen of all time

I

t has been 28 years since Michael Stipe and his band REM announced their arrival in the college town of Athens, Georgia in 1980. 14 studio albums and millions of record sales later, the band have become household names and have secured musical world domination.

For Michael Stipe it has been a turbulent career, plagued by the departure of a founding member of the band, the death of close friends such as River Phoenix and Kurt Cobain and a long period of miscommunication within the band resulting in below average albums and which only seems to have been rectified recently with the release of their latest record Accelerate.

But Stipe’s character has always been one of passion and tenacity.

In the paranoid world of late 80s alternative rock, Stipe showed his contemporaries how one could deal with success and not sell out. Artists from Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain to Pavement’s Bob Nastanovich have held Stipe up as a shining example of how an underground act could hold on to artistic integrity whilst operating within the superficial music industry.

Indeed Stipe has often been displayed as a parallel to Cobain: Stipe had a hand in inventing the genre of ‘alternative rock’and dealt with its transition into the mainstream and subsequent ‘whoring-out’ by popular culture with ease, whereas when Cobain’s ‘grunge’ became a marketing tool it’s safe to say he didn’t take it too well.

Stipe has also consistently been an example of dissent within the mainstream. Supporting various liberal organisations and ideologies throughout his career such as campaigns for Burma, support of handgun control, campaigns for

racial equality as well as being on the forefront of the Vote for Change movement, Stipe has displayed an unfailing dedication to issues that have been important to him, and has used his celebrity status to highlight political and social problems and change minds on a grand scale.

For me, personally, Stipe is a model of authenticity and stability in the shaky world of rock stardom.

He conquered crippling shyness to become the face of one of the biggest bands in history and used this as a platform to preach a message of acceptance and equality. His enigmatic performances and often surreal lyrics still hold significance nearly 30 years on and show no signs of letting up any time soon.

Not only this, but he also penned the most beautiful song ever to have been committed to record; Nightswimming.

features@gairrhydd.com /

17

interviews

HIGH CONTRAST LINCOLN BARRETT, AKA DRUM ‘N’ BASS LEGEND

HIGH CONTRAST, TALKS MUSIC, REAGAN AND THE COSMIC UNIVERSE WITH RISHI SHONPAL

L

interviews

similar logic to explain his lifeHaving little idea about Ronald incoln Barrett, AKA High style choice: “eating meat is an Reagan or cosmic jokes I began Contrast, needs no alien concept. To kill something to discuss his future plans. “I’ve introduction. Born and and then eat it”. Being vegetardone three albums in six years. raised in Penarth, worked ian myself, I ask if he’s a ‘true That’s one every two years. I feel at Catapult Records, beveggie’ or a pescatarian: ‘“I don’t I wanna keep making music, but came resident DJ in Club have fish but I have eggs. There’s I’ve got it out of my system right Ifor Bach (Welsh Club) and is now one of the top always a flaw in the logic somenow”. When he was younger, he 5 drum and bass DJ’s in the world. where... have a foetus instead!” loved soundtracks, long before getIf you’re at Cardiff University then Lincoln’s reasoning soon led to ting into music, and cites Stanley you should definitely know about some ‘deeper’ questions, until Kubrick as one of his all-time this doubtless diamond geezer - it’s eventually we stumbled upon the favourite role models. He explains as essential as knowing where the topic of karma: “If there’s such a that he plans on getting into filmSU box office is. thing, why did Ronald Reagan die making.

Lincoln’s ability to seamlessly peacefully and a happy man? If What is it, then, that drives this blend drum and bass (DnB) into there is any cosmic karma, then man to constantly push boundany genre is something few can do. he should have been zapped!” It aries? “I dunno, it’s something “DnB is rather like a coat hanger, only seemed natural to progress inside that wants to come out...I you can hang whatever genres you on to the universal question of hear things and want to sample want on it. DnB is a way into other the meaning of life: “People find them. I listen to other genres of genres”. For example, on the track their own reason to exist. It’s all music which gives me ideas but ‘Chances’, found on his latest a cosmic joke it’s actually quite the track always ends up soundalbum Tough Guys Don’t Dance, he funny”. ing different to what I originally explains how he was able to get a thought. I feel I wanna keep makcountr y and western singer in the ing music so always try and push style of Philip Glass minimalism and myself.” “there ain’t many genres that can pull that stuff together”.

He has a home studio in Penarth, scattered with thousands of vinyl, and appears to be a musical genius constantly pushing the boundaries of what drum and bass can do. His favourite track ‘Metamorphise’ on his latest album is “the most futurist thing I’ve ever made that isn’t tied down to anything else in DnB”.

He explains how he uses a simple one-baseline note with samples coming in and disappearing and the track ‘doesn’t drop’ until the end and it still doesn’t drop so it can “fuck people out on the dance floor. I like it cos it’s out there and different”.

Lincoln’s uniqueness is what allows him to be the best in his field.

He is a free thinker who’s never given into peer pressure - and he town, Penarth never, ever, follows the crowd. DnB Favourite town? Home is notoriously known for its drug culture, yet he doesn’t smoke, drink Favourite city? Tokyo or take drugs. “It’s just logic, really - do I wanna smoke? Well, it smells, tastes horrible and it kills you. Do I wanna drink? If I drank and it turned Why? Japanese - you got to love ‘em me into Dean Martin then maybe I would but it actually has a downer effect”. He explains how he has “alFavourite restaurant? Dim Sum dow n the Bay ways been a free thinker” and these things “cloud your mind and stop you achieving your full potential, but other people swear by it.”

Favourite role model? Stanley Kubrick He is also a vegetarian, using a

“I’LL ONLY DO THE INTERVIEW IF YOU DO IT IN THE STYLE OF DENNIS HOPPER IN APOCALYPSE NOW...”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>‘Tough Guys Don’t Dance’ Out Now!”

interviews@gairrhydd.com /

19

interviews

Alfie Allen

With Keith and Lilly already stars, the Allen family are no strangers to the limelight. Alfie chats to Mike Bateson-Hill about his starring role in Equus, Daniel Radcliffe, and getting his kit off in the name of art...

T

here must be easier ways of making your first professional appearance on stage than by playing Alan Strang, the highly complex, deeply disturbed teenage boy at the centre of Peter Shaffer’s play Equus. However Daniel Radcliffe proved that it could be done in the 2007 West End revival and now it falls to Alfie Allen to approach the role with a similarly blank sheet of paper where his theatre credits are concerned.

“When I knew that I had got the part but was working on other things, I felt quite distant from Equus” reveals Alfie.

“Whenever I thought about it, there was a mixture of emotions.

I felt that cold fear but I also

couldn’t wait to get on with it.”

In some ways, the actor cast as Alan Strang needs to have a raw, unschooled, naive quality about him.

Too experienced a stage performer might be too self-conscious, too aware of theatrical technique to capture Strang’s innocence. Twenty-oneyear-old Alfie has already clocked up a number of film and television performances, notably in Atonement where his performance in a minor role was favourably noted by Peter Shaffer. Having auditioned for the part, Alfie was later summoned to London’s fashionable eaterie The Wolseley for an eight o’clock breakfast meeting with Shaffer and Equus producer David Pugh.

“I think that this was my punctu-

20 / interviews@gairrhydd.com

ality test” says Alfie with a smile.

“I was actually sitting at the table when they arrived and I’d already ordered. I did wonder if they planned to have breakfast with anybody else but once they started talking about my availability and asking if I had any problems with nudity, I felt more confident. Finally Peter had to leave and David followed him out of the restaurant and into Piccadilly. I watched them through the window talking in the street. Then David came back to the table and told me that they were offering me the part.”

At the moment, Alfie is probably best known for his talented family.

His father Keith has most recently been glorying in nastiness as the villainous Sheriff of Nottingham in

interviews the BBC’s Robin Hood while Alfie’s mother is the prominent film producer Alison Owen whose respected screen credits include Elizabeth and Shaun of the Dead. Big sister Lily, the singer-songwriter, is one of the hottest acts on the current music scene and has already ensured a place for Alfie in posterity by immortalising him in a far from flattering light on her best-selling album Alright, Still.

To complete the show business connections, Alfie shares his private life with Jaime Winstone, the eldest daughter of tough guy thesp Ray. It’s only the third day of rehears als when we meet and Alfie may be daunted but is not overwhelmed by the task ahead of him.

I am the youngest member of the cast and I know I have a lot to learn but I was really getting into it by yesterday afternoon. I like playing parts where you tiptoe around the line between what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. When I’m playing a character I like to put together a back story - what has happened to him before the play or the film begins. But Peter (Shaffer) gives you such a lot of information about Strang that you don’t need to invent a history. “ “When I’m playing a character I like to put together a back storywhat has happened to him before the play or the film begins. But Peter (Shaffer) gives you such a lot of information about Strang that you don’t need to invent a history. I am the youngest member of the cast and I know I have a lot to learn but I

“

THE NUDE SCENES ARE SIMPLY PART OF THE JOB, AS LONG I LOOK FIT was really getting into it by yesterday afternoon. I like playing parts where you tiptoe around the line between what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. When I’m playing a character I like to put together a back

story - what has happened to him before the play or the film begins.

But Peter (Shaffer) gives you such a lot of information about Strang that you don’t need to invent a history.”

Understandably Alfie gibes at some comments that have characterised him as ‘a bit of rough’ casting for Alan.

“I think that I’m slightly more modern than Daniel and quite a bit bigger. I haven’t got what you’d call an actor’s face so I’ll never do well in American films.”

“

I HAVEN’T GOT WHAT YOU’D CALL AN ACTOR’S FACE...

Alfie correctly points out that there is a great deal of difference, even if it’s only four years, between his age (21) and Strang’s (17).

“But I can identify with him in that he’s reached that point in everyone’s life when you realise that your parents are not quite the role models you thought they were. And Equus talks about those issues: the influence of television, mindless violence, that are more relevant today than ever.”

The prospect of taking off his clothes on stage in front of hundreds of people does not seem to faze Alfie. Yet he is strangely selfconscious about other aspects of the job.

“I’ve been to premieres of things I’ve done and I hate watching myself on screen. You’re going to fill yourself with doubt and I can’t see the point of sitting there, getting all pernickety about your own performance. And when I do the play, I intend to forget all about the presence of an audience and I don’t want to make eye contact with anybody. For me the nude scenes are simply part of the job, as long as I look reasonably fit while remaining in character. And Laura and I are very comfortable with each other. I did the photo-shoot with her down at the stables in Wimbledon and we felt very much at ease.”

Alfie is a very engaging character and it’s impossible not to be moved by his enthusiasm for acting and by his determination to learn both what stage acting entails and what Alan Strang demands.

“I’m asked a lot if I feel under any pressure.” he says. “The only pressure I’m experiencing at the moment is the pressure to please people. I just want to play interesting parts, large or small. If there was a tiny part going that had one funny speech, I’d take it. Since starting work on Equus, I’ve become very boring. When I could have gone out at night, I’ve stayed in and learnt my lines. My only worry about doing the tour is finding something to do during the day. What am I going to do with all that time?”With luck, Alfie’s tour dates might well coincide with a visit to the locale of his beloved Arsenal. He was a frequent visitor to the Gunners’ former ground at Highbury where he’d cheer on his heroes.“At one time I did have a season ticket but I had to give it up when I went to boarding school.

I much prefer to stand on the terraces and soak in that incredible atmosphere. It was amazing. I remember one afternoon when we were at home playing Aston Villa while Spurs were playing Manchester United at Old Trafford. If Spurs beat United, we’d win the League title. When we heard that Spurs, usually our deadly local rivals, had scored, the whole of Highbury erupted. The players on the pitch must have wondered what was going on; they must have thought that we were complete nutters.”

Alfie has met several of Arsenal’s past superstars and on one famous occasion he allowed his natural little boy cheek to overcome his awe in their presence.

“Ian Wright was doing a Q & A with us lads. I’d already asked him quite a boring question and then something else occurred to me. I wasn’t being cheeky - I was genuinely interested. My hand was up for ages before Ian pointed me out to the moderator. So I asked him what his wife had said when she found out he was having an affair with another woman. Everybody looked shocked and Ian managed to mutter that she wasn’t very happy.”

Perhaps acting’s gain is diplomacy’s loss. >>> Turn to p.36 to see how Alfie’s performance went down >>>>>>>>

interviews@gairrhydd.com /

21

“ g y

interviews

VOYEUR THE

Monday 28th April, 2008

INSIDE:

FREE

GIRLS AND CORPSES

your guide to glam-rot

EUAN FERGUSON REVEALS ALL IN FILTHY QUENCH MAG

SHAME!

Lucinda Day listens in as prestigious Observer columnist talks to smutty student rag...

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‘T

here was a lot of poverty, a lot of drugs, a lot of gang fights, and a lot of jobs breaking down’, in Britain when Euan Ferguson, The Observer’s finest resident writer, broke into journalism. And it was, so I am informed, his dabbling (in the journalistic sense of course) with this dark and dramatic post – industrial society that enabled him to succeed in the industry. He thus recalls, ‘you learnt as a young journalist, not how to talk your way into people’s houses as such, but how to recognise when people would talk to you, and when they wouldn’t. There was perhaps nothing formal to it but,’ he states defiantly, ‘you learnt on the job.’

It quickly becomes apparent that Euan very much subscribes to the ‘learn on the job’, school of thought, and what with his impressive CV, aspiring writers should perhaps take note. ‘There are more courses in journalism than ever before’, he outlines, ‘but there’s a staggeringly short percentage of people who could actually go into writing’. This is because, as Euan fittingly points out, ‘the most important thing in this industry is having the ability to write’.

And write Euan Ferguson can - although it’s secretly quite refreshing to hear, as a self confessed ‘fed-upof-working-boring-uninspiring-jobs’ type myself, that his career hasn’t always been as exciting as his portfolio might suggest. ‘I became a writer by default. I always wanted to go into journalism, but back then, well, my parents just encouraged me to get the best job I could with my Scottish Highers (the equivalent to A levels). They said “dabble in writing, maybe you’ll do it one day”. And I did go to University to study law, but I hated it and dropped out. So eventually I got a job for Dundee Courier sub-editing. And after seven years of that, I went into writing for the same paper’. It seems that the prospect of seven years sub-editing wouldn’t be so appealing to the young writers in our current cultural climate, in which everyone seems to want, and get, everything on demand. Yet, as Euan explains, while ‘some of the tasks (he) completed were so very, very boring’, he ‘learnt how to write as a result’.

It is increasingly more obvious, that in Euan’s opinion at least, a glittering grasp of the English

interviews language is by far the most important skill for any bright wannabe writer type; but how do you get a slice of his success, and get it now?

‘I’d suggest get a job’, states Euan, ‘no matter how lowly. And basically learn English on the job. That’s what I got from sub-editing. It is very important to understand when a sentence works, and when it doesn’t.

The skills I acquired translated into my own work when I began writing myself’.

Even if, of course, your written expression does become so magnificent that it reaches the dizzying heights of a national publication, journalism does not become any easier according to Euan. ‘Writing my column’ (The back page of The Observer Magazine) ‘is probably the hardest job I’ve ever done. If you’re writing a news story, say about a

“I FOUND MYSELF, RATHER EMBARRASSINGLY, TALKING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE ON THE BACK PAGE OF THE OBSERVER MAGAZINE...” helicopter crash, you go out, get your information and come back and write a story about a helicopter crash. Yet, with a column, you can basically pick anything that is going on and make a judgement on it, whether it’s about an absolutely devastating break up, or a thought instigated by a sign or a bus or whatever. It’s a question of judgement in terms of what wider point you intend to make. I do struggle to find a subject every single week’.

Writing a column, naturally, has its other difficulties, and Euan informs me that ‘a lot of people react strongly to, what I’ve written, yes! I get roughly sixty emails a week and generally eighty percent are supportive. Twenty percent, however, might say how on earth did you get a job in journalism? They say I’m a com-

plete and utter waste of time. But I suppose you kind of open your self up to that as a blogger of sorts. You must accept that you get comments from people, whether they know what they’re talking about, or not.’

It appears that this is not the only aspect to writing that Euan finds particularly frustrating. When asked about his wider ambitions in the field, he confesses that him and his ‘friends have all been trying to write novels for years. But many of them have significantly had much more success than me! Part of me is desperate to do it, and part of me is struggling to find out what to write about. I’ve been happy with my career as a whole, and I’ve had a lot of fun. But sometimes I feel that I’ve done too many things. I’ve sub edited, written for Scotland on Sunday, reported from Kosovo and Iraq, and edited comment pages for The Observer. Then, of course, I found myself, rather embarrassingly talking about my love life on the back page of a magazine. I mean sometimes I feel I’ve spread out too much. I envy my friends and colleagues who have stayed a little more focussed. Maybe if I had to, I’d be surer as to where to focus my creative energies. Sure, I’d like to write something good, but equally there are many badly written books out there, and I don’t feel I want to add to that pile.’

In the field of journalism at least, however, Euan Ferguson’s writing is not only technically outstanding, but refreshingly creative in its own right.

This is because, despite his status as journalist, rather than novelist, Euan believes in, ‘People who are unafraid to splash out with language a little bit, and are unafraid to play with words that might strike the readers a little bit’. His own inspirations are ‘Kingsley Amis and Douglas Adams’, because of ‘the glorious riffs on life and a sharp, smart use of language’, that these writers adopt.

As Euan gushes further about the significance of, and his passion for, language, it becomes glaringly obvious that it is his self–taught status as a true master of words that has got him to the very top of his game.

This is all very well and good, until, of course, he charmingly asks for ‘a copy of this interview please’ in its final, written form.

interviews@gairrhydd.com /

23

travel

It began in AFRICA Sammy Colebrooke chose to travel through the world’s poorest continent on her first gap-year adventure. She gives a country-by-country account of her trip through this oft-avoided but highly rewarding travel destination.

W

hen it came to scanning the globe and settling on my first country, or at least continent of choice, I contemplated the usual hot spots, Australia…New Zealand…Thailand, but soon found my finger hovering over Africa. Nobody I new had been there and the glossy brochures promoting it were relatively thin. It seemed to be a gap-year grey area, unexplored by bright eyed British girls and off the beading track.

Exactly my cup of rooibos!

Despite yours, my parents and many other’s potential preconceptions, I found Africa to be relatively safe, hugely geographically diverse and a beautiful place. The people, though poor, are happy and welcoming, their endless optimism and positive outlook on life infectious.

Although I was a virgin traveller, and

24 / travel@gairrhydd.com

I’m sure that everyone say’s this about their first time, I can’t imagine a better place on earth.

I over-landed from Cape Town to Nairobi, travelling across South Africa, Botswana, Zambia, Malawi, Tanzania, Zanzibar, and finally Kenya. Over-landing was a great way to travel Africa, for although I left partyof-one, I made great friends quickly getting back to basics with 21 other likeminded individuals. Driving from country to country meant not missing any opportunities for sight seeing and 6 hour drives were spent with my face squashed against glass, watching another world go by.

In my six weeks of travelling it felt like I did everything, and although I’d like to elaborate in detail about all my experience, I’ll settle for dabbling into highlights.

South Africa Cape Town. Every view is eclipsed by the marvellous table mountain which I was lucky enough to climb.

At the top I sipped a victory cider as clouds cascaded over us and toppled over the edge as we glanced down on the city below and what seemed to be the curvature of the Earth. My debut as an adrenaline junkie began with a shark dive an hour from Cape Town, where I treaded water in a mangled cage just below the surface of the ocean and watched these majestic creatures glide past. We ate in brightly painted restaurants on the infamous Long Street, dining on ostrich and kudu surrounded by African art and listening to live African reggae.

travel

Dry and dusty and my greatest experience of poverty, yet we still experienced one of Botswana’s gems. A sunset cruise on the Chobe river, where we watched Elephants bathe, crocodiles bask, and all stood in wonder to appreciate the most intensely firey sunset we had ever witnessed. After the sunset we returned to our campsite which we shared with boars and monkeys, to drink and be merry around a campfire, singing songs from our home countries under the watch of a thousand stars.

strange to fall over in waves and find your mouth full of fresh water.

Here we fished with locals and sat smoking Mary Jane with them in curio markets. On a village walk children would grab our hands and climb on our backs, bombarding us with questions about England and requests for basic school supplies.

I will admit it was difficult to walk through the clinics, where victims of malaria and other easily curable or controllable diseases in the western world, lay dead under clothes in corridors. That tour ended with a meal prepared by the local women of cassava and beans, and dancing put on by the children.

Zambia

Zanzibar

In Zambia we set up camp at The Waterfront. This part of our African adventure was an 18-30’s holiday in the making. Minutes after picking our plots we were boarding yet another boat on yet another river for yet another sunset, but this time… there was alcohol. An all you could drink cruise on the Zambezi, where we exchanged sight-seeing for double gins and juice and the glorious sunset became the background to our 30 minute rendition of ‘I am the music man’, which featured instruments from seven continents. The Waterfront is an extreme sports hot spot and after flipping through catalogues of oh-my-god-I’m-going-to-die activities, I settled on river boarding and gorge swinging.

I have to say, body boarding grade 4 rapids, being tossed around in rip curls and whirlpools like a twig in a wetsuit, was the single most terrifying experience of my life, but I’d spend another $150 and do it again tomorrow.

If you look up paradise in the dictionary, you’ll find a map of Zanzibar.

White sandy beaches, clear blue water, palm trees, hammocks, a real wish you were here moment.

Six of us travelled independently to a quiet part of the island where we sunbathed on desolate beaches and drank cocktails when the sun went down, drunkenly skinny dipping in the lukewarm sea, staring up at the stars. The sky seems so much bigger in Africa. We also went on a spice tour, where we sampled the flavours of the island including cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, etc….

Botswana

Tanzania Tanzania was the greenest country we travelled through, fields after fields of tea leaves. It was from here we set of on our three day game drive through the Serengeti to Ngorongoro Crater, where we travelled in jeeps across massive expanses of bush, our park ranger and tour guide teaching us about the Maasai people. Occassionally we would slow down to watch a lioness and her cubs stroll past, cameras thrust over the edge of the vehicle, or to watch giraffes eat and zebra plodding. We camped in the bush, where we fell asleep to hyenas mischievously sniffing our tents and woke to the growls of a pack of lions that had settled 15 metres from our tents.

I would highly recommend Africa to just about everyone, apart from those that can’t take the heat, and those who like their company strictly human. I will admit that mosquitos came to every party and creepy crawlies are bigger and uglier than anything I’ve seen in the UK. Other than that, get parting with your pennies and packing happy campers, you won’t regret it!

Malawi In Malawi we camped on a beach by a lake so vast it had a tide. It was

travel@gairrhydd.com /

25

going out

Cheap Eats Eating out on a shoestring doesn’t just have to mean sharing a kebab outside Chicago Bulls, you know...

Pica Pica Westgate Street It’s a tapas bar and restaurant and they do a lunch deal during the week of 6 tapas for 12 quid, it is also 2 for 1 on cocktails all day during the week until 8pm so it’s good for a nice lunch with nice drinks.

Sarah Shea

Mordaith Grey Friars Road I recently discovered Mordaith, the restaurant part of Oceana, which I’d never really noticed before. It was ideally located for a pre-theatre meal and the Light Bites menu offered two meals for £7, including wraps, baguettes, jacket potatoes and burgers. There is also a fuller dining menu.

Laura Amey

Wetherspoons Everywhere!

The Bay Restaurant Cardiff Bay

Daiquiris Salisbury Road One of my favourite places to go when I’m short of cash is Daiquiris on Salisbury Road. They do delicious Mexican food and cocktails in a cosy environment. The man who owns it is really friendly and will always accommodate our needs. It is great for vegetarians as they do lots of different vegetarian options, my favourite being the bean chilli.

The portions are huge and if you go there during the day they do meal deals for about £4 which includes a selection of hot and cold baguettes, chips, salad and a drink. Weekend evenings get busy though so I’d book ahead.

Jennifer Entecott

Delicious Thai and Cantonese food - we went here recently and really enjoyed the authentic atmosphere.

And, of course, the free prawn crackers! Service is quick and friendly, and for a very reasonable price we all had sizeable main courses and rice. The staff were even happy to dim the lights and totally embarrass our mate by bringing out her birthday cake for us, complete with a rather scary indoor sparkler!

Yeah, we know that you know it’s cheap here! But it’s worth noting that they also do a beer and burger deal, for £4.59. So it’s more expensive than the Scream pubs but our source reckons that you get more, better food for your money. And you can get the deal all day, every day. When it comes to choosing which ‘Spoons to grace with your presence, one slightly exam-crazed housemate swears to us that you haven’t lived ‘til you’ve gone to the Ernest Willows (City Road, near Engineering). Something about the posh toilets, apparently...

Woodville Woodville Road

The George Crwys Road £3.50 beer and a burger (chicken, beef or veggie) from 3pm. Your pint can be a soft drink or selected beers or cider. Not very original but great if you need meat and carbs quickly and cheaply, and without having to walk far!

goingout@gairrhydd.com /

27

food

Food

of the

In homage to fine foods and exquisite cuisine, Kath Petty and Dan Smith discuss a variety of delectable gastronomic delights.

F

eaturing prominently in the world of Veblen goods, fine foods and gourmet cuisine are almost certainly a necessary requirement of an opulent lifestyle.

Foods such as tender Wagyu beef, white truffles, Beluga caviar and fresh lobe foie gras are highly desirable, and make many a mouth water.

While these luxurious items are mostly off limits for our modest pockets, the temptation for foodies to splurge on items that wouldn’t usually be found in the average student’s cupboard is ever-present.

But as many of us welcome the arrival of much anticipated student loans, one might feel the need to give Lidl’s the week off and blow it all on a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine or the best quality Spanish ham.

Among other things, one of the most symbolic examples of an extravagant lifestyle is drinking bottles of extortionately priced wines. Of all the many wine-producing regions worldwide, it is France that produces the most wine and where you will find the rarest and most elusive vintages, and the wine-producing regions of Bordeaux and Burgundy in particular. A Bordeaux red from Château Petrus can set you back well over £1000, and the Château Margaux can fetch upto £750.

It is perhaps Champagne that everybody looks to for ultimate opulence and class. When pushing the boat out, try Louis Roederer’s Cristal for about £150 per bottle, Krug or Dom Perignom, for about £100 a bottle. The 1995 Krug Clos du Mesnil costs around £400.

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Nothing says wine without a fine piece of cheese, and these delectable dairy products certainly cannot be missed out of the exclusive array of fine foods. The undisputed gastronomic capital of the world comes up trumps again, France, and when it comes to their fine cheeses, remarkably, the smellier, the better.

The famous Epoisses de Bourgogne is a favourite among gourmets, and the famous French epicurean BrillatSavarin classed it as the ‘king of all cheeses’. It is reportedly so smelly that it isn’t allowed on public transport. Roquefort is another smelly cheese well regarded in France, and along with Stilton, from England and Gorgonzola, from Italy make up the world’s finest blue cheese.

Other cheeses that should not go amiss on a gourmet cheeseboard include the well-known ParmigianoReggiano from the Lombardy region of Italy, more commonly know as Parmesan and possible the finest of cheddars, Montgomery Cheddar.

Mozzarella Bufala di Campana from Southern Italy is worth the extra few pennies more than cow’s milk mozzarella, to make the ultimate gourmet pizza, or a tomato and basil salad.

The Gods must have been having a good day when they taught somebody to dry cure meat. Large pieces of meat preserved in salt may not seem like the most obvious thing to be on an epicurean’s list of most lusted after gastronomic delights, but the artisans that produce the very finest must have some sort of other-worldly wisdom, because the end result is to die for.

If you’re hopping around Europe

Go you could sample the finest Jamon Iberico de bellato, made strictly from pigs fed purely on acorns; Prosciutto di Parma or San Danielle, of the eponymous towns in Italy; Black Forest or Westphalian Forest smoked hams of Germany; an air-dried fillet of beef from the Italian Alps known as Bresaola or even Carmarthen Ham, which is very similar to that of Parma. All are based on the same basic method of covering meat in salt to draw out the moisture, rubbing with spices and then hanging them out to dry.

But the end results could not be more different or delicious, so the powers that be have defined how and where a certain produce can claim origin, thus increasing the price of the very best and most authentic examples.

Even more unappealing upon first glance is the truffle, the fungal kind that initially looks like a lump of mud and is sniffed up by pigs.

Whatever possessed anybody to eat it is a mystery to me, but eat it they did and it’s a good thing too.

The truffle is a type of fungal tuba that grows around the roots of trees (mainly oak) and comes in two main varieties, black and white. It is an aromatic ingredient that fills the head with a wonderful nutty aroma and is used sparingly, infused through other ingredients or shaved a la minute over risotto, gnocchi or pasta dishes.

The real big hitters are the white truffles from Alba in Northern Italy.

If you’re in the area and fancy buying a couple from the markets then expect to spend between £1,600 and £3,200 per kilogram. But that’s

ods

food

nothing; Macau casino owner Stanley Ho forked out the paltry sum of £165,000 for, officially, the the most expensive 1.5kg monster. I hope he had the nose for it, because 30% of men can’t smell the truffles aroma.

It always surprises me how any of these delicacies came about, take Kobe beef for instance. One day a farmer of the Hyogo Prefecture, Japan, must have looked at his Wagyu cattle, decided that he loved them so much he’d feed them beer and massage them everyday simply so their meat would yield the most beautifully marbled texture money can buy. Kobe beef is so marbled with pure, tasty, fat that it will melt in your hand, let alone your mouth.

As too is foie gras, but for a very different reason.

They say that the Gods can be cruel and it’s certainly true of foie gras, the enlarged liver of a force-fed goose or duck. A lobe of foie gras will set you back at least £20 (cost) and almost that much per portion in a restaurant. The ethic of eating something that has such a cruel means of production is questionable and has lost favour with many foodies and even some chefs. Although not the French, who still insist that the birds must be force-fed to claim the title of foie gras. But there is now some naturally fattened foie gras produced. Whatever your moral principles, it can not be argued that foie gras is not delicious.

Whatever it is that the Gods feast on; one thing is for certain. It wasn’t Opal Fruits that were made to make your mouth water.

food@gairrhydd.com /

29

Sex Kittens

blind date

The sex and dating industry is changing dramatically, women are taking the reins, infiltrating the scene with sassy business sense, innovation and glamour

Carrie Bradshaw Jacqueline Gold

Ms. Gold started work experience in her father’s sex shops in her teens, but soon realised the enormous potential of the family business. She began working up the ranks and developed numerous marketing strategies... and the Ann Summers we know and love was born. Jacqueline was made Chief Executive in 1987 and has since turned the business into her very own multi-million pound empire.

She’s brought sex toys and fabulous underwear to the high street, and has a fantastic head for business - a true sex kitten!

The original lady of dating, Carrie and friends have kept us entertained with her man antics since the ‘90s and are returning to their former glory in this year’s Sex and the City movie. Based on the jottings of real life journalist Candace Bushnell, Carrie’s countless encounters with Mr Big and the New York dating scene are deliciously explicit. Striking a chord with females the world over, this fabulous woman and her ridiculously glamorous friends have been constant sources of tears, laughter and gossip.

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Tracey Cox Tracey’s CV reads: ‘an international sex, body language and relationships expert’, but many choose to think of her as simply a lifestyle guru. Her 15 years of experience in the media industry have kept us entertained and informed, and her programmes and books continue to offer up a wealth of wisdom. The empire doesn’t end there, though, as a line of sex toys and merchandise shows this woman’s got business sense as well as a whole load of sass.

Sarah Beeny

Ms. Beeny made her mark with numerous property programmes, far from the foxy new dating site she’s just set up. Founder of mysinglefriend.com, the lovely 30-something is beginning her foray into the dating scene. Her website lets people nominate their friends for online dating, allowing lots of singletons take the first step towards finding love.

Another example of the innovative female business mind; Beeny’s come on leaps and bounds from boring property development.

gay

no, SEXY! no, no

Do people reckon you’re an ultrasexual Adonis just because you like boys who like boys? And, if so, is this such a bad thing anyway? Andy Tweddle weight up the pros and cons of homosexual typecasting...

R

olling around back at home for the Easter hiatus, it’s always lovely to bump into old family friends and such like. Down at the local Sainsos perusing the deli with my sister, we inevitably had a run in with one of my mum’s BFFs, Mary Bell. After the obligatory lyrical waxing over the term’s events etc, she offered to buy both my sister and I a coffee at the café, which we took her up on.

‘So, what are you up to this summer then Andy?’ she asked me, ‘Any interesting plans?’

‘Yeah actually,’ I replied, ‘I’m going travelling around Eastern Europe for about six weeks.’

‘Oh, right… are the boys sexy over there then?’ was her response.

A bit taken aback, I laughed the comment off and we moved on to another subject.

Afterwards, however, I wondered if she’d have asked me about potential Balearic hook-ups if I were straight? Maybe she would have, but it occurred to me that I’m often addressed as this massively sexual creature, simply because I’m gay.

That evening, undecided on whether I was perplexed or nonplussed by Mrs Bell’s assumptions, I headed to a local bar where I was working for the evening. A few of my colleagues had come dressed up in response to a ‘Heroes and Villains’ fancy dress shindig that was going

on. One of the fancy dressers, my boss Jim, had come as Indiana Jones and spent the entire night trying to spank me with his whip.

‘You love it, Andy!’ he’d shout at me at in between pulling pints.

I’ve never been one to take myself too seriously and I had a laugh with Jim as the night went on, but it does seem interesting that my status as a gay man might just have a little extra baggage. Do people reckon that, because I’m gay, I’m automatically into S&M related extra curriculars? Does making my sexual preferences known set people up to have a rather highly sexualised view of me?

And should I really care?

This highly sexualised image can have its advantages, after all. One of my coursemates told me – when drunk – that her and her friends constantly thought my late arrivals in one particular module were due to the fact that I’d been indulging myself in various (non Balearic) hook-ups from the nights before. In truth, the only action I’d been getting up to probably went no further than an episode of Smallville… but it felt pretty cool to be thought of as a stud.

I guess what it all comes down to is whether or not the conceptual line is being crossed. I’m more than happy to have a laugh with others about being gay and take the piss out of myself. But I’m not so hot about others thinking that’s what I’m like 100% of the time. I reckon sometimes I fall into a rut with certain people who see me as simply a gay man, and that’s all they really seem interested in talking to me about. It’s my own fault too, though, because sometimes I get nervous around people, think that’s all they want to hear about and camp it up.

The thing is, I have many passions. I love sex, and I love being gay, but I also love clubbing and travel and Superman and fantasy fiction and jogging and a million other shit non-events that might interest other people. There are countless dif- ferent elements that make up every individual, regardless of sexuality, and they can never all be observed until you truly get to know the one individual in question.

After much deliberation, I’ve realised that my situation is not subjective. Everyone has distorted perceptions of other people and, maybe, everyone wishes they were viewed a little differently than they were. Perhaps we should address each other peripherally, as simply humans, and see what comes next.

gay@gairrhydd.com /

31

DIGITAL \:101101010101000100010 digital

0110011010011101101100110100110 0010100100001000100110011010011 10110 01101 11001 10011 1010 0100 011000101001

WWW.TED.COM

T

ED is not, as you might initially think, the blog of an elderly Yorkshire gentleman being chided by his wife for being on t’internet too long. It stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, yet its scope is far broader than this.

It is a video repository for talks by many different speakers on many different subjects, but all of them could perhaps be described as, if not revolutionary, then inspired. Talks have been given at its conferences by a mixture of household names (Stephen Hawking, Al Gore, Bono), names that you should have heard of but perhaps haven’t (Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page, Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, deaf percussionist Evelyn Glennie, author Isabel Allende, architect Sir Norman Foster), and other activists from a huge variety of fields, from African politics to American economics, art to advertising, science to religion.

It is, essentially, a celebration of problem solving and innovation in every field. It looks both forward and backwards, to problems that have been solved and problems that have yet to be solved.

As a huge geek, one of my favourite talks on the website is by Johnny Lee, a research student at Carnegie Mellon University who became a

YouTube superstar after posting his hacks for the Wii remote on the website. He describes how it can be used for head position recognition for true 3D applications, and how to make a $45 interactive whiteboard for schools suffering from lack of funds. It’s one of the best demonstrations of pure innovation and imagination you will see all year.

Another inspiring talk is from Dr. Ernest Madu. He runs the Heart Institute Of The Caribbean in Jamaica, and spends his talk educating the audience on the demographics of heart disease, and how to deliver world-class healthcare in a developing nation through training, education and utilising technology.

Other talks deal with controlling the function of your own brain using real-time MRI scanning to see active parts; how thousands of ants interact to produce structures that benefit all of them; creating a fully sustainable city and much much more.

TED’s tagline is “Ideas Worth Spreading”. If you’re fascinated by the amazing world around us, watch the people who study it explain what they see. If you’ve ever thought about changing the world, you could do worse than to watch some of the people who have thought exactly the same, then done it. Go spread.

Richard Wood

PENDING.....

They: 360, PS3, PC (Metropolis) Four years in the future, just after those pesky terrorists have had their wicked way with London, but just before global warming puts in the boot, aliens arrive. Then you shoot them with guns. I doubt you’ll need an Oyster card.

The Incredible Hulk: Everything (Sega) Hulk Smash and so on and so forth! I hope this won’t be rubbish, I quite like the Incredible Hulk.

But it probably will be, won’t it?

digital@gairrhydd.com / 33

digital

Condemned Condemned 2 2 360, 360, PS3PS3

olice proceedings seemed to have changed in recent years. From what I know, police are supposed to gather intelligence, question witnesses and protect people. Condemned 2 skips the whole protect and serve idea in favor of the more wholesome bludgeoning suspects with a lead pipe policing methods.

You play as Ethan Thomas, a disgraced drunken ex cop who seems to have gone through the Frank Miller school of brooding protagonists and graduated with a P.H.D. As this might imply, Condemned 2 treads a very dark path of psychopathic homeless people, supernatural phenomena and government conspiracy. The game is made up of investigations and visceral combat scenes, which make fight club look like Vanity Fair. The combat is some of the most violent and believable I have seen in a game, you feel each punch, each body part is controlled by individual buttons making the

www.SKETCHSWAP.com

A

large white box with “Sketch Swap: Draw 1, Get 1” on the upper left greets you. Moving your mouse tentatively onto the white square, somehow the pointer transforms into a pencil! Now, limited only by black lines of a constant thickness, it is finally time to unleash the creativity you always believed a career in accountancy would never have you explore. However, you soon realise that with a mouse as your implement, you are in

34 / digital@gairrhydd.com

“

“P

I’m not sure how realistic a lead pipe breaking after a few hits is, unless it’s made out of marshmallows whole experience far more interactive than most standard FPS games.

The forensic investigations on the other hand are far more disturbing than the actual fighting, you will have to analyse blood splatter patterns to the point where the game may actually be assuming you have a degree in pathology.

Graphically, Condemned 2 is stunning, lighting is dynamic and the character models can be distinguished right down to the crazed glint in their eye. Damage to characters is also realistically rendered, and the movement of the camera in time with your attacks suggests SEGA have been really shooting for realism in this title.

This is why the game confuses me slightly with some incredibly unrealistic features. For one thing, stacked barrels, TV’s and other items are held to the ground with cement whereas pipes can be ripped from the walls to be used as weapons.

The element of the supernatural,

whilst a thrilling new direction from the last game, is not exactly in keeping with the attempt at portraying a gritty dystopia. The weapons, though numerous in quantity and variety, disintegrate after multiple uses. I’m not sure how realistic a lead pipe breaking after a few hits is, unless it’s made out of marshmallows. These gripes with the realism aren’t major enough to have stopped me from playing, but it did seem to highlight an odd sense of double standards in the developers.

There aren’t many games that look at titles like Manhunt and aspire to take the violence one step further, but SEGA’s contribution to the already bulging folder of Jack Thomson’s case against games seems to do just that. It’s a wonderfully done game with few major flaws and should be bought even if you aren’t into eviscerating the homeles. You know who you are.

Tom Barker

fact not that creative/talented/ godly at all. Once you’ve penned in your image –most likely a smiley resembling a plate of eggs and sausages- you’re rewarded with the drawing of someone equally bored and unskilled.

You may feel now is time to leave, but somewhere within your cranium, your curiosity is tickled, along with the drive to prove yourself wittier, funnier and more artistic than the rest of the internet community. You press the devilish ‘draw again’ button and begin to muse about your next eye-popping image.

Each time you draw you’ll find yourself attempting to push the creative boat out and enjoying watching the efforts of another

person. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes they’re even pretty good, but most of the time you’re disappointingly rewarded with ugly faces and ill-drawn genitalia (still entertaining though…right?). Only when you realise that you’ve spent the last 30 minutes drawing and watching sketches that would easily fill a number of therapy sessions, you finally peel yourself away.

Seeing someone draw a stickman with a penis is always fun.

And although this addictive little game takes up more time than you should be devoting to such frivolities as we march ever closer to exams, its certainly recommended for a good bout of grade harming distraction.

Craig McDowall

arts

EQUINE DREAMS Intrigued by rumours of ‘horse porn’ and Alfie Allen’s naked body, Amy Grier goes to see Equus and find out what all the fuss is about.

THEATRE REVIEW

EQUUS

ALFIE ALLEN, LINDA THORSON, LAURA O’TOOLE NEW THEATRE 7-12 APRIL

E

quus is perhaps the strangest and most compelling play I have ever seen.

Written by Peter Shaffer, Equus was first performed in 1973 to great acclaim, and this touring production comes after the success of its West End revival last year which starred Daniel Radcliffe.

The plot is this: Alan Strang (Alfie Allen – yes – Lily’s brother) is a confused 17 year old who believes horses to be of mythic and religious significance. His worship of Equus (Latin for horse), mixed with his post-pubescent sexual awakening is at first passionate, but later leads him to commit a violent and horrific act of mutilation on the horses in the stables in which he works. It is this act which conditions his treatment by child psychologist Dr Martin Dysart (Simon Callow), the central action arising out the conflicted relationship between patient and psychologist.

The staging and design of this

36 /arts@gairrhydd.com

production were excellent. With one unchanging set comprised of a few blocks of wood, the characters managed to create a psychologist’s office, a hospital room and a stables, all totally convincing because of the quality of the acting. The lighting design was spectacular, and the freeze-frames, which can sometimes look stunted and amateur, worked very well. Even the horses, played by men with metal-framed horseheads on, did not detract from the ‘realism’ of the play, but instead injected a strange surrealism which very much increased the element of suspense.

I was even pleasantly surprised

by Alfie Allen. Alan Strang is perhaps not an easy character to play. Aside from the nudity (there is a mildly uncomfortable sex scene in the second half), playing a boy who is ideologically and sexually worshipful of horses must be problematic. But Alfie Allen managed it well and his relationship with Callow on stage was truly gripping. Callow himself was fantastic, with every word and gesture conveying the pathos of Dysart’s frustrated intellectual life.

Renowned for his Shakespearean work, there was much of the characteristic voice (and spit) projection from Callow, combined with a lot of ‘shouty’ prose from Allen. But

although the psychological subject matter of the play may be uncomfortable for some, I remained grateful that I saw this production and not the one with Daniel Radcliffe.

Having seen and enjoyed Equus, I cannot think of anything worse than seeing Harry Potter’s pasty bits jangling around in front of me while he leaps apoplectically around a stage.

For all his theatrical inexperience, I would prefer Alfie Allen any day.

Ostensibly, Equus is a thriller, with the majority of the action focusing on Dysart’s attempts to expose the motivation behind Strang’s seemingly incomprehensible crime. But this play is about so much more than that. It is about parenting and religion, and about who or what makes us who we are. Although the title of the play would suggest that this is Allen Strang’s unique story, Equus is perhaps more aptly about Dysart’s sexual and professional frustration. Equus is perhaps most importantly concerned with the nature of passion itself, the action of the play constituting a debate about clinical psychology and the ethical pitfalls of attempting to erase or displace passion.

For me, Equus is theatre at its best: subversive, haunting and incessantly contemporary.

arts

Pointillist Precision

In times of impending stress, it’s nice to remind ourselves that it’s a stunning world out there. Tash Prest-Smith reviews nature lover William Wilkins’s dotted artwork.

W

illiam Wilkins was born in 1938 and brought up in Carmarthenshire and Pembrokeshire. As the great-grandson of the architect of London’s National Gallery, Wilkins had a lot to live up to, but he managed it, having become one of Wales’s most respected artists. Wilkins is a pointillist, building up an image from a series of small dots of paint, in the style of Seurat. This is a painstakingly slow process, but the end results make for beautiful paintings with an Impressionist flavour. From afar, the endless flecks and dots blend together so that the paintings seem photographic in their precision.

This exhibition featured a sumptuous collection of nature scenes throughout the seasons, and a preoccupation with the water landscape and classical architecture of Venice.

Wilkins’s aptitude for perspective was evident in Santi Giovanni E Paolo, which captured the light-filled interior of a church with arches and pillars, and shades of orange, yellow and salmon pink, and The Grand Canal, offering the viewer a picture-perfect vista of dotted green water flowing serenely past a row of peach and beige Italian buildings, all beneath a cloudless blue sky.

Wilkins’s joyful celebration of nature is perhaps the reason why the play of sunlight in gardens and woods plays such a key role within

his work, as in Winter Sunlight, where hundreds of tiny white dots dance over the lawn, hedges and trees. Another is Archway, which seemed obviously influenced by Hodgson Burnett’s The Secret Garden, featuring an entrance from a shaded to a sunlit garden, with a lush green lawn flecked with sweeps of pink.

The exhibition contained several winter landscapes, but these were not as eye-catching as the spring and summer scenes, lacking in vibrancy and colour. Night Landscape was more successful, using purple, white and brown paint to create a European-inspired impression of late evening. Autumn Landscape depicted a soaked setting very effectively, where the orange, brown and yellow trees were all slightly blurred by the rain, drawing the viewer in so that he or she could practically smell the wood smoke and the scent of rotting leaves.

The pencil drawings, many using the hatching technique, were not nearly so impressive, but still clearly the work of a skilled technician. The main criticism of this exhibition overall, aside from the absence of portraits, was the lack of self-expression and innovation; it was a set of elegantly composed paintings, but none of them were pushing any boundaries, artistic or otherwise.

arts@gairrhydd.com /

37

books

...news...news...news...news...news...

Lost Dumas Novel Coming Soon

A

n unfinished work by French author Alexandre Dumas has been discovered and subsequently turned into a French bestseller by academic Claude Schopp.

Dumas, most famous for The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo, was working on the 750page epic before he died of a stroke in 1870. Titled The Last Cavalier, the book is set in the Napoleonic period. Although the work was left unfinished by Dumas, Schopp has contributed a final chapter and also plans to write a sequel. The Last Cavalier will be published by Fourth Estate in the UK next month.

Random House goes Digital

P

ublishers Random House have set in motion an online application that will make hundreds of its titles, including works by Sebastian Faulks and Jacqueline Wilson, available to browse and search. The tool will feature on sites such as Play.com and Lovereading. co.uk and will direct readers to the Random House website to purchase the book if they like what they see.

The application has been hyped through mediums such as Myspace and Second Life, with plans by the publisher to eventually create a ‘digital warehouse’ containing its entire archived back catalogue.

The Bibliophile: Roald Dahl

N

More Praise for JK

J

K Rowling has scooped this year’s Galaxy British Book award for Outstanding Achievement for her work on the Harry Potter series.

The multi-million selling author was reportedly thrilled with the honour, her fourth award from the Galaxy British Book awards so far. Elsewhere at the ceremony, Ian McEwan won the Galaxy Book of the Year award and also the Reader’s Digest

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Author of the Year award for On Chesil Beach, a novel which failed to impress last year’s Booker judges.

Other winners included Russell Brand’s My Booky Wook, and Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman’s A Long Way Down. Meanwhile, Katie Price aka Jordan was left thoroughly disappointed as her masterpiece Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book lost out to the fantastic Horrid Henry and the Abominable Snowman by Francesca Simon in the WH Smith Children’s Book of the Year competition.

ot so very long ago, I heard something that made me a little jealous, but mostly nostalgic: a friend of mine told me that her boyfriend had been given a box set of Roald Dahl’s children’s books to read for the very first time.

Hailing from Llandaff, Dahl is one of Britain’s most adored authors.

Famed for books like Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The BFG and The Witches, which were good enough for Hollywood to kindly cash in on. His ability to create the most gruesome, eccentric, frightening and ridiculous of characters means that no matter when you read them, they’re unforgettable.

But with his fingers in all the right pies, Dahl has an extensive list of autobiographical and ‘adult’ books, like Kiss Kiss and Tales of the Unexpected. Dahl has the incredible power to engage with the reader, be it a five-year-old or a fiftyyear-old, and the best part is, they get even better the older you get.

Felicity Whitton

Frank Miller:

books

Saviour of the (comic) Universe

F

rank Miller is the Jesus of the comic world. Fact. Responsible for some of the most memorable storylines and characters of the late eighties through to the present day, Miller has been a relentless force in comics, credited with rescuing the medium from mediocrity and childishness.

Miller started out with the ambition of becoming a comicbook artist, pencilling for titles such as Spectacular Spiderman and The Twilight Zone. Miller’s style of mixing realism with a heavy sense of noir earned him significant attention from both DC and Marvel and led to him having greater storytelling control over the titles he was working on such as Daredevil and Wolverine.

Miller became known for introducing darker and more adult themes to his stories and used unconventional devices such as the killing off of main characters such as Elektra.

Miller also became known as an impressive all-rounder, displayed in the comic Ronin which was both written and pencilled by Miller and told the tale of a samurai reincarnated in a near-future New York City.

In the 1990s Miller tried his hand

at screenwriting with the poorly received Robocop 2 and 3. His experiences with studio interference and heavy editing of his work led him to became disenchanted with Hollywood and put him off the idea of working in the film industry again, something that would prove ironic given his renewed success recently.

Indeed, Miller’s efforts have now been concentrated on Hollywood, with only one graphic novel project on the cards this year titled Holy Terror, Batman!, which will reportedly see Batman take on Al-Qaeda in Gotham City. Whilst this sounds very un-Milleresque, the writer has never been afraid of pushing boundaries in the comic world, as demonstrated in some of his key works:

Sin City

Heavily influenced by noir, both in style and narrative, Miller’s Sin City was a commercial success both in print and in the film adaptation which saw Miller return to Hollywood in 2005. Miller created his own world and a myriad of characters with interconnecting stories. The film used Miller’s comics as story-

boards and most scenes are identical to the ones that Miller created.

The Dark Knight Returns

Released in 1986, DKR was a phenomenal success for Miller and DC, with the collected mini-series now marketed as a graphic novel and still selling well to this day. The story focused on a troubled and reluctant Bruce Wayne who had retired as Batman following the death of Robin. At age 55, Wayne is forced to once again don the Batsuit and save a Gotham that has become plagued with uncontrollable destruction and violence. For his work on DKR, Miller was seen as Batman’s saviour; rescuing the hero from the camp connotations still surrounding the character since the 60’s TV series. Miller was also credited with the transformation of the Joker from a mischievous clown to a mentally deranged and ruthless killer. This gritty, noir-ish take on Batman totally redefined the character and, indeed, the superhero genre. TW

books@gairrhydd.com /

39

cult classics

all that jazz...

For some, jazz is not just a genre of music...it’s a way of life. Gareth Mogg takes a look at some of its pioneers and how jazz has influenced some other cult artists Charlie Mingus

George Shearing

Jack Kerouac

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G

J

ure, relentless and completely insane. When I first heard a Charlie Mingus record, I didn’t hear structure and tempo, but instead, there was this adrenaline rush, some sort of explosion that made the music more alive than the world around me.

There’s something about bebop jazz though that just captures the true essence of what it all should be about: energy and expression. Bill Evans for example, is a great jazz musician, but it’s a different kind of jazz, the type you would have playing in a small dusty bar, smoke layering the ceiling, with a glass of mediocre whiskey, too watered down with ice to have any real kick.

Imagine the same setting, still in a small intimate environment, still smoky, but instead of the ageing feel of the place, you have blood red seats, a glass of your favourite scotch, already chilled, and a searing heat coming from the corner of the room, as each musician gets lost amidst a flurry of complete and pure expressive jazz. That is what Mingus gives you.

A pioneer of bebop jazz, Mingus is now one of the greats! Each note is a raging fire, each random shout or hand clap break gives a voice where lyrics simply aren’t needed, and transcends the listener into a different world, where you want to whoop and cheer yourself, where letting go is just a logical step.

It’s not moody jazz, it just simply is what it is.

eorge Shearing is another who manages to encapsulate what jazz was trying to achieve.

With his many solo records, it acts more as backing music in a bar or on a slow wind down in the evening, but this is where Shearing goes under appreciated.

What jazz should all be about is feeling the music; each pause isn’t to try and think what is coming next, it’s to act on instinct and let the music take you where it needs to go. And with just a piano, Shearing accomplishes this. Each rusty note is not carefully placed, but miraculously pulled out of the air, and fits in perfectly with this jigsaw.

Howard Moon

I

t’s all about the jazz! Regardless of whatever Vince Noir thought, jazz was the impenetrable vortex in which Howard Moon could hide away and grin.

The entire randomicity and humour of The Boosh is akin to the beat and unexpected turns that jazz music throws at you. Howard would be proud!

When trapped in monkey hell (happens more often than you think) even Vince cannot deny Howard his jazz, playing it to an empty coffin, full of his favourite records.

The Mighty Boosh is what jazz would look like on television, with Howard Moon as its director.

40 / cultclassics@gairrhydd.com

ack Kerouac wrote as a jazzman would play: the speed, the rush and the spontaneity, all the while maintaining that complete sense of being.

This can prominently be seen in On The Road, but its influence seeps into all areas of Jack’s work and life. The intense descriptions of watching the jazz musicians play down to the plain simple “Whaos” are everywhere.

Even the style of the writing reflects that of jazz; each pause or break is a tempo change, and each word and syllable pounds along to the next, riding the rhythm through the highs and the lows.

Jazz spoke for a generation, and it still does to this day. Kerouac’s influence is still as strong now as it was before, and even now, it still sends people wild, searching for the sound and vision Kerouac was living. To quote Jack: “You feel this.

You feel it in a beat, in jazz, real cool jazz.”

His writing and life not only inspired people, but it taught them lessons. People wanted to experience, and as Bob Dylan once said, he “changed my life.”

Kerouac translated jazz onto the page, and it can almost be said, that with a book like On The Road, that it comes equipped with its own sound track!

music

inmusicthisweek

albums:microphones

thepoint

live:lc!

musiceditorial musiceditorial

A

fter wasting many a hungover hour this Easter in front of Youtube sampling the delights of the MTV Video Music Awards, I realised just how spectacular live performance can really be.

And by that, I don’t mean the same sort of ‘live’ that alternative music thrives on. In fact, most of these artists were all lip synching, fully equipped with back-up dancers and flashy sets, and it was still fucking brilliant.

As by way of example, take Ms Spears’ rendition of I’m a Slave 4 U back in 2001, where she burst out of a giant cage and proceed-

ed to shimmy around the stage, snake in tow. Or 18-year-old Chris Brown who stole the show at last year’s VMA’s, accompanied briefly

by Ms Umbrella-ella herself. I won’t even try and suppress my swoons; the kid can fucking dance.

Aside from being uncompromisingly impressed when artists can bust a move (see also: Timberlake, J; Spears, B 19982004), it is perhaps only with live performances that can boast extra-special collaborations (a la Nsync and Michael Jackson), and a route Chris Brown went for; the medley. Only his medley was

way cooler than any 5ive or Spice Girls megamix I’ve heard.

So, in an unbelievably roundabout way and with a scattering of Justin and Britney-shaped examples as always, I’m trying to “patronise” and preach about the importance of a live show.

Not just for alternative music, where it sounds mega with fancy instruments and bundles of enthusiasm and atmospherics, but where it becomes a visual treat as well. And by treat, I mean with dancing and over-the-top outfits and stage sets and snakes.

‘Cos if you’re gonna do it, do it in style. FJ

loveletters Si Truss declares his undying love for The Skins Soundtrack

Y

es, I am talking about the recent program on E4 and no, before the defensive/ offensive backlash begins, I’m not about to pass judgement on the quality of the TV show itself.

My brief spell as a Quench TV writer is long behind me now (and to be honest I never made a particularly good TV critic anyway) so I’m not going to bother trying to pick apart what’s so good/ bad (delete as appropriate) about what is, at the end of the day, just a TV show.

Still I do feel compelled to give ‘mad-props’ (I believe that’s

how the kids are speaking these days) to whoever it is that’s in charge of sourcing the sound track music over at Team Skins.

Over the course of the show’s two seasons I’ve noted (yes I have been taking notes) songs popping up from the likes of (deep breath): The Decemberists, Neutral Milk Hotel, Battles, Sigur Ros, Grizzly Bear (at least twice), Yeasayer, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Los Campesinos! (on the advert not the actual show), Hot Chip, Matthew Dear, etc. etc.

(Although) I’ve just looked on Amazon and although you can

buy the sound track none of those bands are on it. Instead the ‘official’ sound track album appears to be made up of unexciting nu-rave wank.

Also did anyone else notice that after two series of sticking religiously to an obscure indie sound track both Girls Aloud and Britney Spears popped up in the final episode? It’s not a bad thing, Sound of the Underground is a rousing pop anthem. And then they ended it all with a bit of MGMT. I’m fairly sure they must have stolen my Ipod.

music@gairrhydd.com /

41

music

FROM THE SCREEN TO

YOUR Quench takes a look at some recent film soundtracks that S T E R E O should not be written off as mere ‘bargain bin’ fodder.

Around a third of the way through Paul Thomas Anderson’s recent critical hit There Will Be Blood you really begin to notice Jonny Greenwood’s impressive score.

In the particular scene in question there is a large oil well explosion (pictured below) followed by several minutes of increasing tension. Sonically there is little dialog and Greenwood’s composition is brought into the foreground.

collaborating with scottish postrock icons Mogwai. The resulting sound track not only provided an important part of the film’s aesthetic (the final 20 minutes is almost like one long music video) but stands alone as a rather interesting post-rock record in its own right.

The fact that Eddie Vedder

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It builds itself around an eerie, repetitive percussion sound introducing tense strings and odd rattle-like noises to increasing effect.

Oddly just as There Will Be Blood is noticable for its interesting use of an original score its Oscar rival, the Coen Brothers’ No Country For Old Men is striking for its near total absence of music.

Although those in the know tipped Greenwood (who is better

know to the general public as the guitarist in some band called Radiohead) to pick up the Oscar for best original score he eventually wasn’t eligable due to the fact that his score contained previously existing material. For one thing several parts of the score borrowed elements from Greenwood’s own Orchestral work Popcorn Superhet Reciever but additionally draws

on material from the classical composers Arvo Part and Johannes Brahms.

Another familiar name from the world of contemporary music Cave has also made quite a name for himself in Hollywood. Along with his long-time Bad Seed collaborator Warren Ellis, Cave provided the haunting sound-track to last year’s atmospheric masterpiece Assassination of Jesse James. As with their last sound track work for 2006’s Aussie-western The Proposition (for which Cave also

wrote the screenplay) Cave and Ellis’s ambient and often experimental music was responsible for a substantial part of the film’s dark and isolating feel.

Again reaching back into 2006, one of the most interesting original scores to come out of Hollywood in recent years (in my opinion at least) was that of Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain. Composed by former Pop Will Eat Itself vocalist Clint Mansell, who worked on Aronofsky’s previous films, the score sees Californian string quartet Kronos Quartet

provided much of the sound track to last summer’s Into the Wild seemed to be enough to get all the Pearl Jam fans I know somewhat excited. The reason being that the songs Vedder recorded for the film went on to become the band’s singer’s first solo record. Although not the first time Vedder has provided tracks to a film’s sound track it is

the first time that he’s developed his work into an actual album.

The idea of contemporary artist providing the backing for Hollywood picks may be nothing new, but this last year as much as ever is somewhat of a reminder that Official Sound-track album isn’t necessarily exclusively for the realms of HMV’s £2 bargain bin section. ST

music music

F

ollowing a complaint made by some of The Point’s new neighbours about noise emitting from the venue, The Point is now under the threat of closure due to impending court action. While The Point are doing everything they can to resolve the issue, they need as much support as possible to keep the venue going and to keep live music alive in Cardiff.

The Point is a gothic-style, stone-built church that was built in 1900. It has been active as a live music venue since 2003 and has hosted gigs from the likes of The Stereophonics, The Manic Street Preachers, Cerys Matthews, Super Furry Animals, Athlete, Deerhoof, Glen Tilbrook, Funeral For A Friend, Battles, Willy Mason, Candi Staton, The Twang, Joe Jackson and Iron And Wine among many others. The Point also helped to host Huw Stephen’s Swn Festival last November, which housed bands such as Beirut and Youthmovies.

The potential closure of The Point could have further implications on Cardiff’s live music circuit. Currently the venue is the only suitably sized host for capacity crowds in excess of 500. Beyond this, artists would be forced into spaces that lack the atmospheric significance of the converted church, such as our own Great Hall and the CIA. To show your support for The Point and help voice the importance of live music within Cardiff, please sign the online petition, which can be found at: www.keepthepointalive.com For more information on the closure, as well as more on The Point’s other ventures, such as stand-up comedy and club nights, you can visit their website (www.thepointcardiffbay.com), or check them out on Facebook. The website also offers full gig listings for the venue, which in the coming months include Black Lips, The Automatic, Lightspeed Champion, Hadouken! and Feeder.

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albums THE MICROPHONES The Glow Pt.2 (Reissue) K Records

not as good as singstar ones?

I

t would be wrong to call The Glow Pt.2 a concept album as the word concept suggests that there must is some kind of blueprint around which the album is based.

In fact Phil Elvrum wrote the majority of the album almost entirely upon impulse as he was recording it. The result was a delicate and isolating insight into Elvrum’s mind.

Lyrically and thematically the record hints that there’s some kind of story

spanning its duration yet its themes remain ever elusive.

However it’s Elvrum’s unique skill for imaginative and unique production and arrangements that shine through as the album’s strongest point. Opener I Want Wind To Blow bases itself around a simple, repetitive, percussive noise plucked out on an acoustic guitar while gently picked chords from two panned guitar parts skirt around each other beneath Elvrum’s gentle vocal melody. Songs change pace and feel unexpectedly; I Want To Be Cold opens with almost industrial guitars built over sloppy punk drumming and suddenly cuts out into the eerily gentle vocal refrain ‘I hope your flames don’t grow, I want to be buried in snow.’

It’s strange to think that it’s only been seven years since the record was first released; somehow the lo-fi aesthetic and rather timeless

production give the album the feel of classic early 90’s indie records.

Oddly, due to the off-the-cuff approach taken to its recording there were no out-takes or b-sides left over from the album’s original sessions and hence the bonus disc is mostly made up of new recordings made by Elvrum over the last year or so. The result is that many of the alternate versions are hugely interesting; seeing The Microphones return to re-work their own material seven years on is somewhat of a treat for longtime fans. Elsewhere there are hints of new material and the odd curiosity.

The extras are possibly only of interest to hard-core fans but at the very least this K Records reissue is a well timed reminder of why this is easily one of the best albums of this decade.

10/10 Si Truss

Pick The Of k Wee

JOY DIVISION Best Of Warner

S

GOLDFRAPP Seventh Tree EMI

P

...but who’s counting?

erhaps it was Alison Goldfrapp’s burlesque-like outfit, complete with whip, or maybe the sinister looking wolf sniffing at her crotch in the publicity shots for second album Black Cherry.

Whatever it was, I just didn’t go near that album. However, if Black Cherry and follow-up album Supernature was Alison Goldfrapp walking ruthlessly over our backs in highheeled stilettos, then Seventh Tree sees her cuddle up to us in the aftermath, whispering sweet-nothings in our ear.

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This newfound sensuality is not only due to Goldfrapp’s first-time use of the acoustic guitar, but more tellingly through the ethereal combination of sweeping strings and soft synthesiser. For fifteen minutes I don’t get past the tender, teasing opener Clowns with it’s gorgeous, enchanting vocals.

The wistful and tender tone of the album avoids becoming cloying as the latter half opens out to include the guitar-driven Caravan Girl, and Cologne Cerrone Houdini, with its Morcheeba-like funky bass-line and breathy vocals.

By the end you still find yourself in Alison Goldfrapp’s palm, though this time without a whip or pair of handcuffs in sight.

8/10 Jim Finucane

original

ince the late seventies, there has never been a better time to jump on the Joy Division bandwagon; this exciting album, compiled in the wake of the Ian Curtis biography film, Closer, is a great chance to learn a little more about the band for those who can only hum the chorus to Love Will Tear Us Apart.

Described by Bono as ‘as big a black cloud as you could find in the sky’, Joy Division are intense with brooding, claustrophobic lyrics and frequent, repeated references to being out of control; the latter a sinister reminder of Curtis’ experience of epilepsy. The John Peel sessions bonus CD included is a treat but the band bear the same raw, moody weight whether live or in studio.

However, apart from the short but sweet interview, there is little here that true fans wouldn’t already have.

This is definitely one for newcomers to the bandwagon and is certainly refreshing if you want a break from manufactured angst.

8/10 Amelia Forsbrook

YOUNG KNIVES Superabundance Warner

stab yo’ in the eye yo’

H

urrah! The Young Knives are back! Cheeky chappies specialising in a very specific line of quirky art-pop to cheer even the bleakest…What? What do you mean you’ve become all brooding and malevolent?

Perhaps the most obvious sign of this shift is their choice of clothing. Gone is the tweed and the dyed-in-the-wool eccentricities that it represents, replaced by sober

and sombre suits. This is not an optimistic record by any stretch of the imagination.

Dealing with topics as widespread as body dismorphia and suicide the album’s lyrical hopelessness is juxtaposed with the music. From the reverb heavy, almost dub-like paranoid guitar stabs of album-opener Fit 4 U to the choppy, up-tempo numbers like Dyed In The Wool which ludicrously evolves into a soaring meaty rock-out. So, although the ‘Ye Olde Englande’ parochialism of the first album has been almost entirely extinguished, what remains is a sophisticated and melancholic rumination on the state of the modern gentleman. Blimey.

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ATLAS SOUND

Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel Kranky Cranky

I

n Let The Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel, Bradford Cox, Deerhunter’s lead singer, lets his musical talents run away with him in a solo effort of psychedelic noise and haunted tones. The result, however, is an album that tends to promise much at times, but is bogged down by too many songs that plod along with little purpose or noticeable tune.

The album doesn’t start promisingly to my liking. Ghost Sounds does exactly what it says, a collection of rock instruments and haunting ghostly sounds in the background. Scary! The album does start (properly at least!) with the melodic and ambient Recent Bedroom.

Quarantined is one of the albums best songs and is really where Cox’s musical talents come to the fore, as is Ativan, the album’s standout track.

..a promising but flawed effort of haunting experimentalism

FOUR TET Ringer Domino

heffner’s fave pasttime

K

ieran Hebden has been so busy remixing, DJing and getting all techno-jazz-glitchtronica with Steve Reid, that it’s been two years since a Four Tet release proper.

Ringer is a four track EP that stretches over thirty minutes, and following on from 2006’s Everything Ecstatic, sees Hebden move further away from real instruments, into

more synthesized, clinical soundscapes.

The beats are simplistic (his closest to mainstream house and chillout), working mainly as backdrops to the ambient experimentation.

As a result these tracks are more accessible, but do require patience.

The brief payoff to title-track Ringer is eight minutes in the making, but when it arrives is more satisfying than any Cascada wail-drumroll-wail formula. Closer Wing Body Wing recalls Kraftwerk in their heyday, relishing new textures and sounds.

If you’re tired of hearing synths as a backdrop to bad bands, this is a great record. 8/10 Steven Kenward

The album is let down by too many weak tracks throughout, such as the pointless title song that finishes the album. The album lacks flow and momentum as great songs are followed by weak ones of little substance and feeling. It has to be listened to, as just passively listening to it doesn’t do the music justice.

It is in my experience one of the few albums that combines so many diverse influences including organ music and harps, reflecting Cox’s many influences. Overall you would be better off investing in Deerhunter’s Cryptograms to get a real taste of Cox’s self-styled ‘ambient punk’, than this promising but flawed effort of haunting experimentalism.

6/10 Jonathan Evans

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live live live live live live live live Los Campesinos!

10/04/08 Solus

T

onight’s homecoming gig for Los Campesinos! emphasises a conflict which they have tussled with from the beginning; trying to find the perfect mix between pretentious and pop, and in turn, satisfying the two polar extremes at opposite ends of their fanbase.

Playing through debut album Hold on Now, Youngster in its entirety as well as some earlier singles, LC! are as lively and energetic as ever, mak-

Dallas Green

Islington Chapel 09/03/08

Y

ou know tonight’s going to be special as soon as you step inside Islington’s Union Chapel. The two tiered interior is dark, with only the last few rays of sunlight from this crisp spring evening shining through the stained glass windows.

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ing full use of the large union stage and joking between songs about their own student experiences. Certainly the band seems more relaxed than the last time I had seen them, free from the shackles of NME sponsorship which seemed heavy on their mind at London’s Astoria.

Perhaps inevitably its You! Me! Dancing! that garners the biggest crowd response, but it’s a track which even today still fills me with excitement; from head down to my somewhat awkward shuffling feet. Unfortunately it’s no longer flailing limbs on the front line, but over-zealous lager louts bounding up, down and into each other, but nonetheless they seem to be enjoying themselves.

This seems to be the story of

Candles encompass the balcony, casting large choppy silhouettes across the walls as Dallas’s faithful eagerly fill up the wooden pews, actually not as uncomfortable as you might think.

Relatively unknown Attack in Black get the proceedings underway, the Canadians languid rocky musings doing little to win over the crowd, their hearts set on seeing one man only this evening. After a long wait the lone figure that has singlehandedly created such a dedicated following appears in front of the pulpit.

the night, and whilst the guy wearing the Does it Offend You, Yeah? T-shirt might think Gareth C! is being modest suggesting Pavement cover Frontwards was written by a band much greater then his, there might be no more sincerer a statement spoken all night.

Los Campesinos! famously played their very first gig in Solus’ side-room, and whilst their promotion to the main room might have opened them up to a demographic they never expected to encounter, tonight’s performance is solid as ever and shows that success hasn’t yet, and isn’t likely to affect their artistic credentials and vigorous DIY ethic.

Kyle Ellison

The band accompanies him as he plays a handful of songs of his new album, showing that the Alexisonfire guitarist has not only matured instrumentally, but has extended his already superb vocal capabilities.

Each song is delivered effortlessly in turn, the audience completely silent as they lap up every honey soaked melody and gorgeous guitar stroke. “What Makes a Man?” is the pinnacle of tonight’s set, the standing ovation paying testament to a mesmerizing show.

Pete Rollins

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live live live live live live live live out, but everyone who has made the effort is clearly enjoying themselves.

Looking at the crowd it’s almost impossible to believe you’re watching someone whose career started on

Annie Nightingale

Clwb Ifor Bach 13/03/08

“

t’s not often that Cardiff plays host to royalty, but tonight we get a rare appearance from the Queen of breakbeat herself: Miss Annie Nightingale MBE. Sumo residents Hightower and Westone do a suitable job of warming the crowd, but it’s not until the lady herself takes to the stage that the atmosphere really picks up.

The Easter holidays mean that there’s a relatively low student turn-

Efterklang Point

“

I

making you forget you’re dancing to someone older than your mum

radio back in 1970, but unlike other prehistoric DJs, Annie has managed that rarity in the fickle world of dance

music: keeping up with the kids while maintaining her own unique sound.

Future classics such as Slyde’s ‘Kiss Kiss Bang Bang’ and Dramatic Twins ‘Hyperspeed’ are dropped alongside some more underground material, while seamless mixing is eschewed in favour of energetic hand waving, making you forget you’re dancing to someone older than your mum.

As she switches the tempo for some drum’n’bass towards the end the crowd sound suitably surprised, and she finishes to enthusiastic applause. Let’s hope we don’t have to wait as long for another royal visit.

James Waldron

31/03/08

T

he best gigs at the Point are the ones where everyone sits on the floor as they do tonight; the atmosphere is relaxed, no one has to crane their necks around the person in front to see and band have the full attention of the crowd.

Tonight’s support act, drafted in at the last minute after the touring support was deported, is Cardiff’s Sweet Baboo; an artist who genuinely deserves any audience’s full attention. Using simply his beautiful voice and his distinctive guitar playing tonight, Sweet Baboo brief support set is enough to demonstrate why he’s one of the most exciting new things to be coming out of Wales right now.

Efterklang themselves, despite being minus their touring Violinist tonight, are utterly wonderful.

Wearing matching uniforms and looking like an overgrown troupe of boy scouts the Danish post-rockers swap positions across the stage utilising guitars, horns, keys and all kinds of drums and percussion to recreate the blissful melodic sounds of their brilliant second album Parades on the Point’s stage.

Si Truss

Johnny Foreigner

Radar Clubnight 04/04/08

I

t seems strange that this gig should even exist as the seemingly endless Jo Fo tour schedule stops at Cardiff’s ‘Club With No Name’.

Yeah, I’d never heard of the place either, and apparently I wasn’t alone as I wrestle my way past a 10--strong crowd made up entirely of people I know on a first-name basis.

Just under a month ago they had

played to a packed out crowd at Cardiff’s bustling new venue 10 Feet Tall, but tonight is a different kind of gig altogether. It’s impossible to question the band’s work ethic, although you have to wonder whether the strains of the road are beginning to take the strain.

Lead singer Alexei staggers around the ‘stage’ slurring his words and looking generally worn out, but his guitar playing is flawless and as awe-inspiring as ever. Tonight might be a bit of a non-gig, but for the few audience members present its a brilliant chance to see one of the UK’s most exciting new bands perform in strangely intimate surroundings. Kyle Ellison

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L I S T I N G S 28/04

- 12/05 S I N G L E S

MONDAY 28th APRIL

WEDNESDAY 7th MAY

Acid Mothers Temple + Ruins @ The Point

Light Speed Champion @ The Point Werewolves + Me and the major @ 10 Feet Tall Electric Cwtch: The Allback Experience + Adrian Hughes @ Glo Bar

TUESDAY 29th APRIL Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip @ Barfly The Automatic @ The Point Maccabees @ Thekla WEDNESDAY 30th APRIL Frightened Rabbit + Picture Books in Winter @ 10 Feet Tall THURSDAY 1st MAY Black Lips @ The Point Pendulum @ SU Vampire Weekend @ Anson Rooms

THURSDAY 8th MAY Robert Plant and Alison Krauss @ CIA FRIDAY 9th MAY The Steers @ Barfly DJ Yoda’s Magic Cinema Show @ Clwb Ifor Bach Glassjaw @ SU

GIG PICK WB MAGIK MARKERS @ CL ril Ap nd 22 Tuesday w Daydream w up in the 80s and sa gre u yo h wis er ev u yo Do too. Noise they still mattered? Me era Sonic Youth when extremely its t bu , be new anymore tly ac ex t no t gh mi k roc spect. Catch rkers are an exciting pro Ma gik Ma d an hy alt he duced BOSS. ough Lee Ranaldo pro thr g yin pla b Clw at m the HOT CHIP One Pure Thought DFA

SOULJA BOY Yahhh!

Interscope

With a chaos that works One Pure Thought leaves Hot Chip established champions of electro funk. Energetic beats combined with melodious vocals chill you out as they entice you to the dance floor.

The signature repetition is there but it is surprisingly hard to over play this song.

If all else fails try deciphering the lyrics, the Macarena features somewhere. 8/10 JE

Soulja-‘ever so slightly too young to be singing these inappropriate lyrics’-Boy, unfortunately failed to impress with his latest single.

Awaiting this single with slight anticipation after his previous catchy and hilarious tune Crank That, which had most jumping around like lunatics in ‘da club’, Yahhh won’t have as broad appeal and this one trick pony has already begun to sound repetitive. 4/10 KP

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THE ENEMY This Song is About You Warner Bros.

The fifth single from The Enemy’s We’ll Live And Die On This Album has all the ingredients for another anthem, but it falls a bit short.

Tom Clarke’s Warwickshire twang grates, and tired teenage-mumspushing-prams lyrics suggest they’re not quite the social commentators they wish they were.

Decent tune though. 6/10 HD

EFTERKLANG Caravan The Leaf Label

Taken from the Parades album of 2007, Caravan seems to be a world away from the muted soundscapes of Tripper. A raucous drama from start to finish, showing that they can indeed innovate. I’m off to buy the album... 8/10 MM

LIGHTSPEED CHAMPION Galaxy of the Lost Domino The new single from ex-Test Icicle Devonte Hynes’ band Lightspeed Champion is a fun-filled ballad.

Galaxy of the Lost features a variety of instruments such as drums, bass and a variety of string instruments giving the song a Spanish / Irish feel. The lyrics themselves are well crafted, and are well interspersed with the instrumentals. Overall Hynes provides a song that is enjoyable and accessible to all comers. 7/10 JE

m l i F

film

THE BUZZ...

The latest news, rumours and conjecture

THIS

WEEK

MOSTLY

1

WE

HAVE

BEEN

THINKING...

Why have Citroen decided to imply all Germans are Nazis?

I saw the new advert at the cinema the other night and literally could not contain my shock (a little bit of wee came out). Nazism should never be made synonymous with Germany. That is bad. Here are things Citroen think are ‘reassuringly German’; attacking people violently with swords; being Aryan; having a menacing looking scar on your face; looking like a Bond bad guy full stop; the Brandenburg gate; eagles. All of this set to the compelling, but notoriously anti-Semitic Wagner. You do the math.

2

Why are Petits Filous so small? If they make my bones so darn strong, give me more than a mouthful in each carton dammit!

3

Am I the only one who is becoming increasingly disillusioned about the noticeable reduction in the number of trailers before a film? Every time I go to the cinema it seems that the offensive adverts for cars and Radio 1 last longer, reducing the time for exciting trailers for Epic Movie 7 and the like.

For shame.

NATALIE PORTMAN: OUT ON THE WILEY, WINDY MOORS Perhaps the most physically perfect woman in the world, Natalie Portman, is to play Cathy in a new adaptation of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights. One can easily imagine Portman, who plays headstrong women so well, roaming the Yorkshire moors with the breeze in her hair, wailing uncontrollably. The film is to be directed by John Maybury (The Edge of Love).

AUSTIN POWERS 4?

After years of rumours and hear say it looks as though Mike Myers is finally ready to don the ruffled shirt of Austin Powers once more. Apparently the movie will be a prequel that focuses on Dr Evil and his henchman’s early lives of crime. Gisele Bundchen is supposed to be in the frame to fill the cat suit shaped hole left by Liz Hurley, Heather Graham and Beyonce. It remains to be seen whether Myers can rediscover the form he seems to have lost up Shrek’s arse. Lets face it though, it’s got to be an improvement on The Cat in the Hat.

FAN BOYS, PREPARE TO BE OUTRAGED! It looks as though Steven Spielberg’s DreamWorks have acquired the rights to make a live action version of everyone’s favourite mind bending anime film Ghost in the Shell. The talk on the town is that it will be filmed in 3D, and Street Kings writer James Moss has been attached to write the screenplay. We here at Quench have to admit we’re in two minds about this news. On the one hand, we’re pretty intrigued to see what they do with it – DreamWorks released the second film and will presumably treat the story with due reverence. On the other, one has to question why it’s necessary at all. Yes the original’s animated, but it’s as cinematic as anything photography can offer. Anime nerds around the country will no doubt be spluttering their chocolate milk out of their noses in outrage.

4

On that topic, a quick question. You’re on a date and you get to the cinema a bit late so you know you’ve missed the trailers, and possibly the first 5 mins of the movie. Do you still go in? We think no. Lots of people (mainly the ladies) think otherwise.

“

Cram it up your cramhole La Fleur!

(Ben Stiller) We take a look at the Top 5 movie jerks on p. 55.

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“

PERSEPOLIS Dir. Vincent Paronnaud, Marjane Strapani Cast: Chiara Mastroianni, Catherine Denevue Out now, 95 mins

Synopsis: Based on a graphic novel of the same name, Persepolis is the remembered account of a young girls early life in Iran and subsequent move to Austria to escape the war. After returning to Iran she struggles to reintergrate into the radical Islamic regime.

W

ith the surplus of aesthetically unimaginative CGI films that have been flooding our screens in recent years it is easy to forget what a visually arresting and pioneering genre animation has the capacity to be.

Persepolis is as pleasing to the

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eyes as it is to the soul and fully deserves the spate of awards that have been coming its way.

First and foremost it is a painfully personal movie about family and loss. Through Marjane’s account of being ripped out of her safe family bubble in Tehran to a lonely existence in Europe we are watching a girl being forced to grow up, becoming wise beyond her years.

In this sense Persepolis is also a coming-of-age tale with the best of them, not only is she faced with the day-to-day tragedies of war but also the more immediate struggles of a teenage girl. As we watch Marjane’s memories of her childhood in Iran, all in beautifully crafted black and white animation, layered and etched, with not a pixel to be seen, it feels as though we are peeking into someone’s memories.

The most touching and delicate moments in the movie are those with Marjane and her Grandmother, the bedrock of the family and strong female presence in her life. Watching the two fall asleep in bed together it becomes apparent just how personal a movie Persepolis is, and

what a privilege it is to sit there and watch the intimate and most private thoughts of two strangers.

It also seems to me that the movie is incredibly important at this juncture of time, and current political climate. Yes, a lot of the film is set in Iran where there are huge cultural differences with the West, however the overriding fact is that the characters are simply people, in no way significantly different from any English or American family. Never is this more prevalent than in the comedic moments of the film, of which there are many.

One such scene is where Marjane and her fellow University students dare one another to drive for a mile ‘without their hijabs on’ and scream in delight and excitement as they do it. It is such points of relief and emotional outpouring that make the story so real and affecting.

These moments of relief, however, leave as quickly as they came only to be replaced with the stark and harsh realities of revolutionary Iranian life, as the characters are faced with tragedy of the sort most of us will never face.

“

film IN BRUGES

It feels as though we are peeking into someone’s memories.

”

Dir. Martin McDonagh Cast: Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes Out now, 107 mins

Synopsis: Irish hitmen Ray (Farrell) and Ken (Gleeson) are sent to the fairytale city of Bruges by their foulmouthed boss Harry (Fiennes) after a particularly difficult job for first-timer Ray, and told to await instruction.

The two have contrasting opinions about the city’s Belgian surroundings, but their location soon leaves them contemplating guilt, redemption and judgement.

F Although its creator has denied that it is a political story, it is impossible to ignore the situation and setting of our heroine’s life. Any film which juxtaposes Western and Eastern cultures is necessarily going to be politicised. It is to the film’s credit, however, that it doesn’t crow bar any sort of quasi-social message down your throat.

It just tells its story with wit, charm and intelligence.

Persepolis is about memory, loss, family, love and growing up, it never seems contrived and seldom lets down.

Like all great movies it touches on themes and subjects that matter to all of us, timeless concerns that cross boundaries and borders. The characters, like its content, range from serious and profound to humorous and idiotic. A truly affecting piece of work.

Will Hitchins

our years after the Oscarwinning Six Shooter, director and writer Martin McDonagh

makes his first venture into feature film with an occasionally brutal, often hilarious and always gripping gangster comedy.

Two things will strike you about In Bruges. First and foremost is the shocking revelation that, by the end of the film, you will not hate Colin Farrell. In fact, you may check the listings on the way out to see if he is appearing in anything else in the near future. The pretension and faux-hard guy image is amazingly absent here, and instead Farrell comes across as anxious, charismatic and above all, very likeable.

Which brings me to the second surprise of this film; in spite of sickening violence and reams of offensive remarks there is no villain here who it is possible to hate.

Fiennes’ imposing boss is perhaps the closest you could get, but after a brilliantly autistic phone conversation about the dreamlike qualities of Bruges, you cannot help but agree with everything he says and does subsequently.

McDonagh, therefore, has ensured that this gangland adventure never removes its comedic sheen to focus on the extreme violence that is actually being committed. This allows for the director to pursue the central motive of the film, which is the exposure and criticism of stereotypes. The setting of a tourist city allows for Americans, prostitutes, Dutchmen and dwarves to be conveniently brought together and profoundly insulted one by one, but no sooner does this happen than the instigator, usually Ray, gets some form of comeuppance. The gangsters too avoid being pigeonholed by overtly condemning their own perceived roles, and perhaps most importantly, Bruges emerges not as the Belgian “shit hole” that Ray so persistently labels it, but as a haven of artistic prestige and spiritual fulfilment.

A simplistic summary would be Father Ted meets Lock Stock, but this does a disservice to what is a uniquely charming and enjoyable account of three friendly and engaging human beings who just happen to shoot people for money.

Tom Woods

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LARS AND THE REAL GIRL Dir: Craig Gillespie Cast: Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider Out Now, 106 mins

Synopsis: When pathologically shy Lars (Gosling) introduces his new girlfriend to brother Gus (Schneider) and sister-in-law Karin (Mortimer) they become concerned, for Bianca is a sex doll. Advised by a psychologist to play along with Lars’ delusion, the entire community embrace Bianca to aid Lars’ recovery and, in the process, are themselves changed by her presence.

I

t’s been a long time coming, but finally director Craig Gillespie has gone and done what we’ve all been waiting for…brought sex dolls into the mainstream.

One cannot but admire Gillespie’s chutzpah in choosing such uncon-

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ventional subject matter for his first movie Lars and the Real Girl. However, with the luxury of being able to rely on the burgeoning reputation of Ryan Gosling as one of the finest young actors around, and a deft and understated handling of mental illness from Six Feet Under writing supremo Nancy Oliver, Gillespie infuses a film that could have been so distasteful with an innocence that is nothing short of startling.

Gosling plays Lars, an unbearably shy loner who lives in the garage of his deceased father’s house.

Having been introduced to the world of ‘real dolls’ by a colleague at work, Lars orders a leggy brunette in fishnets and shiny knee high boots. Cue a total severance with reality as the doll is introduced to his brother and sister-in-law (sterling performances from Emily Mortimer and Paul Schneider) as the good natured, Christian paraplegic, Bianca.

As in 2007’s Oscar nominated Half Nelson, Gosling handles his role with aplomb. Lars, totally delusional as he is, never comes across as anything other than a desperately lonely man. Played with subtlety and utter commitment, one can’t

help but be drawn in by the sincerity of Gosling’s performance.

As the film progresses and the entire town becomes increasingly involved in Bianca’s life, it’s fair to say that those who privilege realism over everything else will begin to grumble. Not acknowledging the darker underbelly of Lars’ illness or the trade he has bought into could also be seen as something of a missed opportunity. However, Lars and the Real Girl’s strength is that despite this, its infectious warmth never strays in to the territory of saccharine sentimentality.

If you see one movie about a sex doll this year (and, to be honest, any more than that is probably one too many), you’ll want to make it the one that’s guaranteed to leave you with the warm, satisfied feeling that comes with knowing you’ve just seen something both special and unusual. There are probably several out there that’ll do exactly that, but I can safely say that Lars and the Real Girl is the only one that won’t leave you feeling like the dirt just won’t come off afterwards. For that Craig Gillespie, we salute you.

Sim Eckstein

film 21 Dir: Robert Luketic Cast: Jim Sturgess, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, Laurence Fishbourne, Out Now, 123 mins

Synopsis: Ben Campbell (Sturgess) is a shy yet brilliant college student, desperately in need of money to pay his school tuition fees. When college professor Micky (Spacey) notices Ben’s innate gift with numbers, he recruits him as part of a lucrative cardcounting group who head to Vegas each weekend, using their skills to beat the system. Soon, however, Ben realises that the stakes are higher than he ever imagined.

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onceptually 21 is based around ‘true events’, a promise which can so often add to a films intrigue. As the plot progresses, however, it becomes clear that this is a heavily fictionalised film, lacking in realism and suffering from an excessively careful

THREE AND OUT Dir: Jonathon Gershfield Cast: Mackenzie Crook, Imelda Staunton, Gemma Arterton Out Now, 106 mins

Synopsis: After tube driver Paul mistakenly runs over two people in a week, rumours reach his ears that a third would earn him an early retirement and a lot of cash. Thus begins a search to find that suicidal someone to make his dreams come true.

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hree and Out is the seemingly morbid story of Tube driver Paul Callow (Mackenzie Crook) who is unfortunate enough to accidentally run over two people with his train in space of a few days.

He hears rumours of a London Underground rule that no-one talks

plot, which is far too aware of itself as a mainstream feature. The story feels too familiar to be truly engaging and while there are a few good twists, it generally lacks ambition and substance, relying heavily on slick editing and the now all too recognisable glitzy backdrop of Las Vegas.

Spacey is expectedly solid but is let down by a set of weak supporting characters, who are underwritten and although not particularly poorly played, painfully dull and clichéd. This severe lack of personality quells any attempt to build the suspense needed to make playing cards an entertaining spectator sport.

The film’s greatest affliction, however, is that it substitutes entertainment for a disappointingly moral message. Gambling is bad. Cheating is worse. We get it, already. If you just can’t get enough of flash casino movies, then this one might still be for you. Otherwise you’d be better off watching a more imaginative feature, such as The Cooler.

Ultimately 21 is yet another example of a worn and fatigued format, which has yet to recover from a few too many Ocean’s.

Adam Woodward about: three ‘under’ in a month and the driver is released from service with ten year’s pay in a lump sum.

So, true to form, he goes in search of someone willing to be run over by his train in the next week.

His search leads him to Tommy Cassidy (Colm Meaney) who is intent on committing suicide and agrees to help Paul in return for a weekend spent trying to make amends with his estranged wife and daughter.

It all amounts to a very touching story of friendship, hope, love and ambition which is packed with hilarious moments, clever dialogues and a touch of nostalgia. Three and Out is in many ways a typically British comedy, it is unlikely, whimsical, funny and thought-provoking all at the same time. The characters are likeable and the performances given

by Mackenzie Crook and Imelda Staunton (as Tommy’s wife Rosemary) in particular are wonderful.

This film is probably best described as an imaginative cross between The Full Monty and Death At A Funeral. Make of that what you will.

Rebecca Ganz

[REC] Dir: Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza.

Cast: Manuela Velasco, Pablo Rosso, Ferran Terraza.

Out Now, 123 mins

Synopsis: While documenting the night shift of a local Spanish fire department, a young TV reporter (Velasco) and her cameraman tag along with the firemen as they are called to an apartment block to aid an elderly woman. Once they enter the building, they discover a strange infection that is turning the building’s inhabitants into feral zombies one by one...

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enuinely scary horror films are hard to come by these days. It seems that as long as a movie has a few jump-scares and a mountain of blood and guts, then it’s acceptable. Happily, [REC] bucks this trend admirably, and while the jumps and the splatter are still there, they take a back seat to allow the atmosphere to build and the tension to rise.

First person, hand-held camerashot films are clearly in fashion at the moment, with the recent Cloverfield leading the way. Whereas that film opted for big budget effects and set pieces, [REC] chooses the small, claustrophobic confines of a quarantined apartment building as its setting. Within is a small group of people, including the trusty TV team who helpfully film the whole thing for us. As the zombie threat grows on the inside, the locked-in group succumb to the usual problems – in-fighting, paranoia, death – and all the horror clichés are present too, though they are executed in superb fashion.

While the mid-section of the film might seem to slow, it soon becomes clear that it is simply build up to the final 25 minutes, which become an exercise in raw, relentless, heart-pounding terror.

This frantic camerawork is excellent, adding a kinetic quality to the horror. It’s a unique cinema experience that will stay with you for some time. I’m now afraid of the dark. And Spaniards.

Andy Swidenbank

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film

Director...

Guillermo Del Toro

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uillermo Del Toro has been steadily cementing his place as Hollywood’s new go to guy since the critical and commercial success of Pan’s Labyrinth. With Hellboy II: The Golden Army coming out this summer, and the news that he has been attached to direct the Peter Jackson produced Hobbit films, the Mexican master of monsters who once turned down the director’s chair for both Narnia and Harry Potter, is beginning to enjoy the artistic freedom that comes with the big budgets awarded for mainstream success.

However, Del Toro’s penchant for Gothic influenced horror and grotesque monsters, and his heavily stylised aesthetic thankfully shows no sign of abating, making him one of the most exciting mainstream directors working today.

KEY FILM: PAN’S LABYRINTH (2006) It was this, Del Toro’s sixth feature-length outing, that catapulted the larger than life Mexican into the public consciousness. Part gothic fairytale, part social realism and political allegory, Pan’s Labyrinth follows Ofelia, a young girl forced to live with her fascist stepfather in the woodlands of Franco’s Spain, as she sets about completing tasks to prove herself as the long lost princess of the an underground realm against the backdrop of her stepfather’s increasingly violent purge of local rebels.

Though the film is littered with the beautifully designed creatures synonymous with Del Toro’s work (the Faun in particular comes to mind), the most memorable is undoubtedly the child eating Pale Man. Boasting no face, eyes that are located in stigmata on his hands and a serious skin complaint, I’m not ashamed to admit that I soiled myself the first time I watched him chase Ofelia down the hallway of his well-furnished home

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(well, maybe I’m a bit ashamed).

Magical realism of the highest order punctuated with the utterly brutal reality of fascist Spain, Del Toro’s Spanish language horror fantasy is a classic of the 21st century.

MY FAVOURITE: HELLBOY (2004) Hellboy, based on the acclaimed Mike Mignola graphic novel, is for me, everything that a good superhero film should be. Del Toro’s highly stylised and unashamedly playful take on the well populated superhero genre is the perfect antidote to the serious and increasingly self riteous Spidermans of this world, too engrossed in setting the world to rights and convincing us it’s all real to give us what we really want from a superhero; action, one liners, awesome bad guys and Ron Perlman delivering dead-pan diologue like a

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regular Bill Murray. Hellboy has all of this in spades. It may not be clever, but by God, it’s brilliant.

ONE TO MISS: MIMIC (1997) Del Toro’s first foray into the Hollywood system was dogged by disaster from the very first moment of shooting. His father was kidnapped in the middle of production, an event that eventually provoked Del Toro into self-imposed exile from his native Mexico, and the film was, in his mind, severely compromised by studio interference. Del Toro is quoted as saying that making Mimic was the single worst experience of his life, and, whilst I wouldn’t say that watching it was quite that bad, it really isn’t the greatest cinematic experience I’ve ever sat through.

Sim Eckstein

I love monsters. I identify with monsters.

(Guillermo Del Toro)

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film

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very film has its villain. An evil genius hell bent on world domination. A global terrorist with a distinctly European accent. An axe wielding maniac wreaking havoc on some unsuspecting teenagers. There is one breed of villain however, who eclipses all of these. They are the bullies who pick on the weak and innocent. The snivelling snitches with an unbearable sense of superiority. The jobsworth’s who sit at their desks waiting for that single innocuous slip up. The power-starved, the petty, the jerks…

WHITE GOODMAN (BEN STILLER) IN DODGEBALL (2004) When you think of the self-made man the connotations are often rather positive. Not in the case however, of Globo Gym’s fitness-fanatic entrepreneur; White Goodman. Determined to financially cripple rival gym owner and everyone’s favourite Average Joe, Vince Vaughn, White doesn’t play nice, inflating his ego (among other things) by way of deceit and general foul play. Immoral, vain and heavily mustached, Goodman essentially epitomises everything wrong with today’s image-obsessed world.

ED ROONEY (JEFFREY JONES) IN FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF (1987) After a somewhat suspicious illness leaves Ferris home bound for the day, high school principle Ed Rooney is determined to track the truant teen and bring an end to his epic day off. Luck, however, is very much on the side of our hero and Rooney soon finds himself mud-soaked, dog-bitten and generally humiliated in front of the school. Let’s face it; teachers aren’t exactly portrayed as humanitarians, making it all the more satisfying when one falls foul of some good-old teenage hi-jinks.

WALTER PECK (WILLIAM ATHERTON) IN GHOSTBUSTERS (1984) There’s something strange in the neighborhood. You know who to call.

There’s just one problem. They’ve been locked up! Bureaucratic baddy Walter Peck’s uncompromising bythe-book ethos leads to the shutting down of The Ghostbusters and as a result New York City faces a torrent of ghouls, demons and marshmallow mayhem. Every second of screen time dedicated to Peck is so excruciatingly cringing that legend has it Atherton couldn’t enter a bar for years after the films release without someone looking to pick a fight.

PERCY WETMORE (DOUG HUTCHISON) IN THE GREEN MILE (1999) Percy Wetmore is a sadistic prison guard who likes nothing more than to taunt and harass the inhabitants of Louisiana’s Cold Mountain Penitentiary. Despised by inmates and guards alike, Doug Hutchinson’s unctuous performance is encapsulated in true jerk style when he sabotages the execution of inmate Eduard Delacroix in one of the most callous and malicious moments in movie history.

With a spot of shameless mouse stamping on the side, it seems no level of immorality is too low for this detestable coward.

SHOOTER MCGAVIN (CHRISTOPHER MCDONALD) IN HAPPY GILMORE (1996) Rude, conceited and egocentric, Shooter McGavin raises the bar on the jerk-o-meter with every stomach churning on-screen appearance and is perhaps the most unbearable character on this list. Smugness has and never will be a good quality to retain, but Shooter will flash a smug, sneering smirk with unashamed aplomb. Contrast this with Adam Sandlers’ mischievous, grandma lovin’ grin and Shooters’ fated fall from glory becomes just that little bit more enjoyable.

Words - Adam Woodward Images - Benjamin Phillips

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