Quench - Issue 15

I s s u e 1 5 - Oc t o b e r 4 2 0 0 4

Gr uff Rider s The Super Fur r y Animals Wales best band bar none

Interviews - Fashion - Gay - Travel - Music - Books - Digital - Film - Arts - Food - Going Out

F ilm: Mar lon Brandon RIP

Gay: Testing the nightlife

Inter vie ws: The lo vely Char lotte

Fashion: Maggie’s back

Contents

grmagazine@cf.ac.uk

Satisfy your thirst...

4 6 7 9 13 14 16 18 24 32 35 38 40 42 43 55

O ne Trick Pony salute Brian Clough Debate question the need for exercise Mr Chuffy has arrived -- fear his truth

Intervie ws get intimate with Ash’s Charlotte Features try to tickle our funny bone Travel get the monkeys in Borneo Fashion are on the lookout for models G ay guide us around Cardiff’s queer scene The Super Furry Animals dominate M usic

Digital have sore thumbs from the PS2 The DVD Don joins Film desk

Books give Stephen King a good seeing to

Arts are freshly oiled for your pleasure Going Out kick off their shoes to chill Cult Classics get excited over the Goblin King Food peruse the local markets

Executive editor Gary Andrews Quench editor James Anthony

Arts Debbie Green, Laura Quinn, Natalie Slater Blind Date Lisa O’Brien Books Kerry-Lynne Doyle Columnist DC Gates Cult Classics Catherine Gee Debate Jessica Webb Digital Simeon Rosser-Trokas Fashion Perri Lewis Features Emma Langley, Hannah Perry Film Craig Driver, Alan Woolley Food Mari Ropstad Gay Ian Loynd Going Out Dave Adams Interviews Will Dean Music Sam Coare, Jon Davies One Trick Pony Geordie Chris Photography Maria Cox, AJ Silvers Travel Sarah Cummins, Laura Tovey Contributors Dan Ashcroft, Joanne Coates, JD, David Ford, Greg Cochrane, Sarah Hedman, Elgan Iorwerth, Laura Murphy, Carly O’Donnell, Luke Pavey, Jim Sefton, Rob Telford, John Widdop, John Williams Photographers and illustrators Pav Proof readers Sarah Cummins,Hanah Perry, Alys Southwood Cover design Gary Andrews

Quench 04 10 04

3

Dr. Gonzo

A

nd then I wake up. From dreams of unmentionable things, to a reality that poses no better alternative to the horrific visions of dreamland. I attempt to recount the different types of chemicals I ingested last night, get up to five distinct compounds, and give up.

My head isn’t hurting, yet, but I know it’s coming. The stereo is playing Alabama 3’s Exile on Coldharbour Lane (an excellent hangover album), and when I close my eyes and squint, a thousand crosshatches pulse to the rhythm of the odd blend of techno and country & western. I’m still tripping, and as I roll over and look down at the patterned carpet of my bedroom, the design sways and breathes, turning into rivulets of wool running in opposite directions. The sensation makes my eyes roll. This is not aided by the smell of my fingers, the aroma of which suggests they have spent the night inserted into my ashtray.

The phone bleeps. The inbox contains various accusations, one from my girlfriend, which begins with an angry “What the fuck!” and another, presumably from the girl I brought home last night, lamenting, “Boys are only after one thing”. The number I don’t recognise, and the girl’s name I don’t recall.

This isn’t the lowest ebb, by any stretch (that award currently goes to the time I vomited into my then-girlfriend’s fish tank, and was informed of this heroic act by text message the morning after). Other texts follow, mainly from my mother, whom I was supposed to meet today, and whom I have let down once again. I ring round my fellow heathen reprobates; attempting to find out which establishment we will be drinking in today.

Then the cycle will begin again, things on the “to do” list will not get done, and I will be another shuffle closer to cirrhosis of the liver. There is a half a can of flat Grolsch next to my bed, which I drink, against my better judgement. My name is James Anthony; I have a magazine to run, and a grade average of 74 to maintain. The prognosis is not good.

4 One Trick Pony (Underrated) Nepotism You may think I have a Quench section due to my talent being recognised through contributions last year. You'd be wrong. I'm doing this because the editor of the magazine is a mate and reckons I can write a bit. This is also the best road into a cushy job after graduation. Eg a friend of mine walking into job paying ÂŁ20k p.a. organised by his father's girlfriend, while more intelligent graduate friends are in crap jobs that they hate, and a monkey could do, due to an absence of favours.

Internet Gambling All the benefits of a proper bookies but without Pat Butcher-a-likes behind the counter, the air of seediness that pervades the shop, etc.

There's the added bonus that you don't have to get off your arse.

William Hill and Ladbrokes have excellent websites and the latter has measures against spunking all your money away by setting limits on deposits. All of this means, however, that I'll be getting even more excitied than usual about football. I apologise in advance to the Union bar-staff for this.

BUTCHER: No

Quench 04 10 04

Random Thoughts...

The responses to last week's competition to win a piece of me was frankly underwhelming. Possibly something to do with not actually having set up the email address; possibly due to the fact that nobody reads the freshers' issue (more likely), except staff in my department that I've inadvertently offended. The piece of me on offer, incidentally, was the remaining dead flaky skin from a rather nasty sunburn incident, out of which I've fashioned a Geordie-skin handbag. I do like it but it's really not my colour. The competition question was: "Who would play you in a film of your life?" and I ought to tell my readers - both of them - that in the film of my life the title role would undoubtedly be played by Tim Healy.

I think I'm coming across as slightly cynical this fortnight. If that's the case it's because I'm writing this in the early hours of the morning and I'm still hungover from last night - you'll just have to live with it. On an entirely unrelated note, I've just discovered that Listerine in the eye is quite painful.

That's me done, I'm off to Spain to watch some bloodsports. I wish Eurosport showed bullfights.

Geordie Chris

(Overrated) Championship Manager Not so much overrated as overplayed, the world's number one football management simulation is massively addictive and is occupying far too many of my waking hours at present. This comes mostly from having nothing to do with my days until the start of term, other than writing these two pages and punishing my fingers through the medium of guitar.

I'm trying to cut back on the game so that I actually get some work done when I return to the joys of my degree next month. Blatantly not going to happen.

Foxes What are they for? The only use they seem to have is being hunted, bringing money into the countryside and giving the local gentry something to hang on the walls. Not anymore, with a hunting ban imminent. If the Lords were opposing the Hunting Bill, instead of hunting as many foxes as possible while they still can, the pro-hunt types might have a fighting chance. Fox hunting is deemed to be cruel, but getting bitten to shit by a bigger animal is a normal way to die in the wild. And aside from anything else, they're ginger.

FOX: Rubbish

( L e g e n d )

S

o passes the greatest manager England never had. Clough was a fantastic manager. Career acheivements included transforming Derby into a decent side and Nottingham Forest into the history books as one of England's mostsucessful-ever teams on the European stage - even playing some attractive football along the way.

Thankfully, though, monkey-hanging Hartlepool, where he began his managerial career, are still shit. I fucking hate Hartlepool.

Clough could also play a bit, before injury prematurely ended his career.

Only earning two caps for his country is remarkable for a man that scored 251 league goals in just 274 appear-

OTP

5

ances for Sunderland and Middlesborough - an unrivalled strike rate. Brian Clough was a man with a no-nonsense approach, a refusal to take any crap from his players and a self-belief bordering on arrogance.

As a manger he provided a welcome alternative to the stone-faced miserabilists so frequent in today’s game.

His best moment was, after a poor performance, labelling his entire team a bunch of poofs before proceeding to plant a big kiss on Garth Crooks’ lips.

Now he'll be arguing with the King of Kings; He's not going to be taking Real Paradise F.C.'s corner-kicks, since He's more useful inside the penalty area. Right, that's enough arse-licking for one issue.

Brian Clough

CLOUGH: Dead

( T o s s e r )

G

abriel García Márquez is a Columbian-born author and a winner of the Nobel prize for literature. His political affiliation is communist and he is a friend and confidante of Fidel Castro. Don't worry, I'm not commie-bashing - I'll leave that for later. When Márquez first learned that he would not legally be allowed to enter the United States later overturned by Clinton - he responded by holding a party in Argentina, fireworks and all, such was his joy.

Yet recently, Márquez has caved in to a big-money offer from Hollywood to produce a film based on his novel, Love in the Time of Cholera. His anti-

US sentiment aside, given the man's socialist principles, one would expect the money received to go to some 'good cause' or other, perhaps the Pies Descalzos foundation created by Shakira to help poor children in their home country. The money is, in fact, "to ensure a comfortable retirement," and it is this massive sellingout - almost akin to the idea of me ever getting a job - that has earned Márquez a place as ‘Tosser’.

His one saving grace is that he's insisting on Salma Hayek as the lead actress. I’ve put a picture of her here rather than him because he's an ugly fucker, and because I can't be arsed to piss about with the office scanner.

Gabriel García Márquez "I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show.

They were shrewd because that's exactly what I would have done" On not getting the England manager's job.

Brian’s thoughts (...)

HAYEK: Fit

"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players" On the appointment of Eriksson.

"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one" On his own success.

6 Debate

Exercise

It’s Freshers’ Week - excessive alcohol and partying. Do we really have the time or need for exercise? It’s up to you.

Laura Tumelty Sarah Herdman FOR

AGAINST

I

A

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to hypocritically sit here and pretend that I have never fallen victim to the salmonella van that illegally parks outside the Students’ Union.

(Warning: Freshers should steer clear unless you fancy pebble dashing the toilet and scaring potential friends with your lavatory habits). It’s just a question of moderation. Yes, have the odd indulgence, but make sure that you work it off. There really isn’t any excuse. The sports facilities in Park Place offer a variety of cheap activities with different classes for different fitness levels - you’re guaranteed to find someone else just as unfit as yourself.

The problem with exercise is it’s only even remotely enjoyable when you’re fit. The only people that look good when exercising are those who can do twenty minutes on the rowing machine without turning beetroot or sweating profusely.

Take the gym - been there, done that and left in embarassement after I needed to pat my face dry from the warm up session. The girl next to me was in skin-tight lycra, full make up and, even though she was going flat out, looked slightly bored. So, scared off by the gym-babes, who looked amused as soon as I walked through the door, I turned to exercise classes. These turned out to be the same torture, but worse; I now sweated profusely AND was able to stick out like a sore thumb, being the only one who couldn’t remember the moves.

t’s no wonder that youngsters today are unhealthy, obese and riddled with acne. Fast food companies ruthlessly trap their pre-pubescent clientele into substituting fruit and veg for a greasy Big Mac and fries. If you take a look around there seems to be an ongoing struggle for normality. Teenagers are either woobling around like Mitchelin Men or battling against anorexia in a quest to mimic Skeleton Spice. One simple solution can eradicate all these problems, Exercise!

Most people think of exercise as a chore. Burn off the calories and shed those excess pounds by doing something enjoyable - sex! Get your partner, or drunken random, to try something new, energetic and exciting. Break into a sweat this way to kills two birds with one stone.

You’re getting some action whilst still doing a bit of exercise - where’s the harm in it?

No matter how much you try and kid yourself, using the old jaw muscles to scoff a second helping of pizza is never going to get you a figure like Britney or a six-pack like Peter Andre (these people have personal trainers, plastic surgeons and bulimia). Don’t be too adventerous all at once. You’ll soon realise that this eagerness will cause some damage to your body and your ego when you collapse in a heap of sweat. Just chill out and take one step at a time. Walk to lectures, dance at Creation and don’t take it all to heart.

ll you need is exercise - I think not! I can’t remember the exact day that I gave up on exercise, but it was pretty much when games was no longer compulsory after GCSE. After several feeble attempts to get back some sort of fitness regime, the days when I wasn’t scared of physical exertion now seem like a distant memory.

After all that execise, you work up a massive appetite and end up needing to eat twice as many calories as you’ve just worked off. Plus, for the next two weeks, you’re hardly able to walk. As a result, the idea of exercise becomes so awful that you put it off for as long as you can. This means that the scales end up reading the same, regardless of your efforts, and you’re just as unfit as before. Pointless! Most girls would kill to have an arse s toned as Cameron Diaz, but exercise? I think I’ll just learn to live with my wobbly bits and getting breathless walking up the union steps.

Maybe just cut down on the rat-burgers. Pepole like to gorge themselves on alcohol, chocolate and ice-cream and then have the annoying habbit of moaning about their weight. Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet. Like I said, exercise - what’s the need?

Mr Chuffy

Quench 04 10 04

grmagazine@cf.ac.uk

7

Mr Chuffy Investigates

L

DEBATE RAPE

adies and gentlemen, boys and girls; in these tumultuous times we live with a very real danger in our midst. I talk not of Al Qaeda, George ‘Dubya’, or even John Leslie, but of a narcotic so alarming that mere knowledge of its existence warrants a camp exclamation of, "Ooh, I’m scared." Drinks being spiked? Heard it all before? Think again - there’s a new kid in town, his name’s Mr Rohipknob, and he’s hard as nails.

Our story begins in the popular seaside destination of Skegness, where a series of party-goers were found unconscious and smelling of laminate flooring. The individuals displayed no memory of the previous evening’s events, despite minimal alcohol intake. Preliminary police investigations failed to link any sexual motivation to the bizarre series of events. The impasse, rather like a pig in a box, was only broken through some amateur video footage shot in the premier Skegness nightspot of Gush. The footage depicts one of the victims being engaged in conversation by another gentleman. The victim appears disinterested in conversing and begins to move away. It is then that the victim is seen to become very animated and argues vehemently for a full 20 minutes before collapsing exhaustedly.

+

The debate rapists, often disgruntled, understimulated lecturers and almost always Star Trek enthusiasts, frequent local drinking holes seeking an intellectual verbal joust. When provocative opening gambits such as, "Harold Bishop: what a gaylord," or, "Chris Evans was quite a catch for Billie Piper," fail to evoke the desired argumentative response the assailant will often resort to Rohipknob. The drug derives from the scrotal sac of the New Zealand Weka bird and was traditionally utilised by Maori chiefs in order to aid inter-tribal debate.

Nowadays the bird extract has a more domestic purpose; used as an integral component in the production of kitchen/bathroom flooring. The 99.9% DNA match between hedgehogs and the Weka bird enables the hedgehog to hold the dubious honour of being the only animal in the world with a physiology capable of storing Rohipknob. This has led debate rapists to utilise the hedgehog as a distribution mule.

On consumption, the drug will stimulate an area of the frontal lobe known as ‘Broca’s Monkey’ leading the individual to argue uncontrollably for a period of 20 minutes before a pancreatic duct blockage leads to unconsciousness. The individual awakes with a sore head, no memory of the previous evening’s exchanges and a laminate floor scenting, while the attacker has

long since escaped, his lust for debate satiated.

However, as with all proverbial two-sided coins, there are invariably two sides. Reports suggest that Rohipknob has also been used on a recreational basis. In 1978 a group of students at Cambridge were found to have experimented with Rohipknob in an attempt to improve performance within the debating society. The image of a group of Cambridge students mass-debating is inexcusably disturbing. Luckily, events such as these are a rarity.

However this does not mean one should let our guard down.

In order to protect yourself and your friends from debate rape it is important to follow these simple instructions. If someone publicly attempts to engage you in debate, shout "PAEDO" as loud as possible.

If you witness someone acting suspiciously with a hedgehog: kick them in the face. And finally, if you notice a friend beginning to smell of laminate flooring, call an ambulance. It could just be wind but are you willing to chance it?

This week Amber Duval is in hospital after a rather nasty accident during an attempt at Michael-Hutchenceesque auto-erotic asphyxiation. I swear I wasn’t there...

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I n t e r v i e w s

grmagazine@cf.ac.uk

04 10 04

Are You Danny Wallace?

Britain’s friendliest cult leader talks to Will Dean about the collective joy that is ‘Join Me’

DA N N Y WA L L ACE: Join him!

D

anny Wallace was the co-author and producer of Dave Gorman’s enormously odd (and popular) ‘Are You Dave Gorman?’ project.

Danny and Dave’s mission to find a pack of cards (including jokers), was an inspiration to silly males all over the world.

After the best-selling ‘AYDG’, Danny and Dave went their separate ways.

Dave went Googlewhacking and Danny, well, Danny set up his own cult.

To read the full story it’s best to check out Danny’s book ‘Join Me’, but the collective started with him printing of an ambiguous advert in a newspaper and became a full-scale phenomenon (of 10,000 people anyway).

Danny explains, "Join Me is a cult I started. Yes, I am a cult leader. Which looks cracking on my CV. Basically anyone who joins my cult agrees to undertake one random act of kindness, each and every Friday. We call these Fridays ‘Good Fridays’ and now there are around 10,000 who fervently do their good deeds each week….and it makes me very happy."

After the runaway success of his first solo book, Danny and his joinees are soon to be releasing a book chronicling the deeds done on their own Good Fridays. As well as that Danny has written another book.

Another girlfriend-bothering misadventure or something more serious, like a critical analysis of contemporary economic theory perhaps? Well... no. "It’s something completely different, in fact when I started the adventure I didn’t have a girlfriend to bother, unfortunately,…which is kind of how it all started...but it did bother my ex-girlfriend Hanne (the victim of Dave and Danny’s work in both books), quite a bit, for a short while. But not as much as it would have bothered her if I’d become obsessed with analysing contemporary economic theory!" So that’s that then.

“I genuinely think Richard and Judy is a very good show!”

As well as a new BBC2 series, Danny has been popping up in odd places on the telly over the last year, even on Richard and Judy. On accusations from a friend of mine that he is “selling out”, The Leader is cagey, "Why? Because I’m working for "The Man" all of a sudden? I genuinely think Richard and Judy is a very good show and I’ve learnt a lot about how

to ‘do’ telly. Sure, they do fluffy stuff a lot, but at the same time, it’s one of the only live shows that will actually ditch the cosy running order and react to a piece of breaking news."

That’s her told then, but how to explain my sighting of Danny aboard a train destined for Redditch over the summer? A rogue branch of Joinees aboard Central Trains perhaps? Danny is as confused as I was. "Yeah, that’s weird – I’ve no idea what that’s all about, but people keep telling me they’ve seen me on a train. I imagine it’s because I wear glasses and am therefore pretty interchangeable with any of the nation’s bespectacled. It was probably Harry Potter you all saw, or one of the Proclaimers."

Best selling author, award winning journalist, cult leader. It is one heck of a (strange) CV and one that this writer is jealous of. Well, except for the cult leader bit. All hail The Leader.

Danny Wallace’s new book ‘365 Random Acts of Kindness’ is out on November 4th. To Join him log on to www.join-me.co.uk with a passport photo at the ready.

There’s A Star

Interview

9

Charlotte Hatherly; guitarist, soloartist and sex symbol. Jon Davies gets star-crossed

N

ot content with being in one of Britain's most successful bands and being the sexiest woman in rock (TM.). Charlotte Hatherley has decided to take a little time out from Ash in order to release her first solo album Grey Will Fade. Unlike many side projects, which can sometimes end up sounding like songs that just weren't good enough for the rest of the band, the album showcases Ms Hatherley's emerging song-writing skills.

Kim Wilde and Summer are infectious pop-punk gems that show that if Ash were to disband in the near future it’s likely it wouldn't be the last we'd hear from her. Anyway, let’s stop talking about something as horrible as Ash splitting up before everyone starts crying.

QUENCH: Hello Charlotte, how's it going?

CHARLOTTE: "A bit tired, we (Ash) just played Reading and Leeds on the weekend and had the Kerrang awards before that, so I'm a bit hungover."

Q: How did it go?

CH: "It was pretty fun, The Hives had the dressing room next to us so they kept on coming in and fighting with us and stuff, which was quite funny!"

Q: Oooh you rock stars. Ash have a bit of a reputation as being party animals, what would you say was the heaviest night you've had?

"Well there was one time we had to play CD:UK but the night before was my boyfriend’s (Shaun Of The Dead director, Edgar Wright) 30th birthday party so getting up at five in the morning to go to a TV studio was a bit of a pain in the fucking arse."

Q: Quite, so you just played the main stage at Reading and Leeds -- what's coming up in the world of Ash? CH: "Well I'm gonna do a few solo gigs to promote my album, which will be pretty strange coz I'll be playing smaller venues all by myself! And

C h a rlotte Hatherly: ‘the girl t a l ked at Jonny ’ then in autumn Ash are gonna be supporting The Darkness on their tour."

it comes out, cos its pretty funny and loads of people are in it."

It’s at this point we talk about Ash's blossoming friendship with the Darkness and how Tim maybe forming a side project with Justin Hawkins. It takes every ounce of strength in my body to refrain from revealing how absolutely shit I think The Darkness are. Anyway on with proceedings.

Q: Do you ever get annoyed by the groups of goggle eyed young men who seem to gather near you when you’re on stage?

The Hives kept coming in and fighting with us Q: Are we ever gonna see the much talked about Ash horror film Slashed?

CH: "Erm, to be honest I don't know!

It's all been filmed but its all on Mark's (Ash-bassist) laptop at the moment and no-one has really had time to edit it at the moment. I hope

CH: (Laughs) "Well not really, I suppose it’s flattering really isn't it? Its always nice to be liked so I couldn't complain about that really."

We chat for a bit longer and I learn some ‘interesting facts’ about Charlotte; her favourite colour is green, if she had a super power it would be to be able to fly and her favourite cheese is Boursin.

Charlotte Hatherly’s new album, ‘Grey Will Fade’ is out now through Double Dragon. Ash inexplicably support The Darkness on their winter arena tour.

10

Features

grfeatures@cf.ac.uk

Meditation: Medication for life’s pain?

Hannah Perry is trying to live through her heart chakra and exude peace and love

J

Quench 04 10 04

ust for a moment, try to think about something that makes you smile. Wherever you are, and whatever you are doing, it is a quick and easy way to make yourself feel good. What if life could be full of those simple things that make you smile. What if it was a sequence of moments of feeling good.

Spirituality is a way of searching for truth within your own soul, and consequently the universe, to try to turn that ‘what if’ into a way of life. After all, in some way we are all searching for the truth.

Brandon Bayes, the author and neuro-linguistic expert who developed the ground-breaking healing technique the Journey, claims that each person is born as a diamond, a perfect being. As such we have the capacity for success and abundance in each and every area of our lives.

This potential for success lies in our subconscious mind, but bad experiences throughout our lives build barriers in our conscious mind which can prevent it from being realised. When we work to remove these barriers we can see the truth in our own soul, and those around us.

This can be translated into everyday life as ‘everybody has the capacity for infinite goodness, try to see it and focus on it.’ When you think about it, there are worse ways of living.

Trying to think positively is a constructive choice, not a naïve one. Of course life presents us with difficulties and problems, on a personal and global scale; they make us stronger. It is not about ignoring them, or just simply looking on the bright side, but approaching them from a positive angle, with a focus on reaching a positive outcome.

A lot of people have a feeling that there is something bigger than us. That there is a greater force at work. There is also a growing number of people who are becoming disillusioned with the concept of organized religion. This is natural when many religions sometimes appear to be both outdated and at the root of some of the world’s major conflicts. Yet there is a lot about most religions that makes sense. Such as a moral code by which to live and a connection with some kind of higher being.

More and more people are turning to

to a form of spirituality because it combines the positive aspects of religion and science, but leaves out the parts that create an environment for conflict. It is about searching for the truth in order to create a more loving and peaceful environment. After all, in some way, aren’t we all searching for the truth?

All matter vibrates and is surrounded by an electromagnetic field. The higher the frequency of the vibration, the purer the substance, the larger the field. For example, diamonds have a very high frequency and a very large electromagnetic field. This can also be called an auric field, or aura. The principle can be applied to people as well as crystals.

While it may seem like New Agey mumbo jumbo, this way of thinking has a lot in common with other faiths.

In Buddhism there is an emphasis on

realizing the essence of who you are now and establishing a link between the self and a higher presence. Both

systems use meditation in order to be able to live in the presence of light, love and truth.

A

lthough spirituality, in its various forms, has existed for millennia, it is now embracing the future. Websites are springing up which are designed to help people to achieve a more open and peaceful mental state. Here is the Quench guide to some of the best.

A look at religioustolerance.org told me that New Age thinking is essentially a set of beliefs that can be incorporated into existing religious beliefs. It explains certain principles such as Karma, ecological responsibility and reincarnation.

The Barefoot Doctor (barefootdoctorglobal.com) gives tips on meditation.

He encourages you to bring ‘your awareness back into the centre of your brain’ in order to let your ‘natural human warmth … flow more freely’. Even if you don’t buy it, it is incredibly relaxing.

Carpediem.com describes a breathing technique which involves drawing energy into your Dan Tian (an energy centre three inches below your navel) as you exhale. This is supposed to open up your heart chakra and allow you to give off healing love energy, create a positive space around yourself and even help you solve problems (because you are tapping into a source of infinite wisdom). Well that can’t be bad.

Another useful site is sun-angel.com. You can click to get advice from the ‘angels’ or words of wisdom from ‘Abe’. He reliably informed me that, when I experience negative emotions, my plans are ‘not in harmony’ with my ‘greater interests’. You can ask questions of ‘The Alchemist’ who will give you a form of tarot reading. There is also ‘Fortuna’ who will answer your conundrums but I tried a lot of questions and didn’t get one relevant answer.

Apparently letters can be translated into numbers which have specific meanings. So while I was on the internet I took the opportunity to put the name ‘Quench’ into a numerology calculator. It came up with 5, 6 and 8.

Profound.

5 means that the magazine strives to grow and isn’t afraid to change in order to make progress.

6 means that it appears attractive and comfortable to both people and animals (so basically it’s ideal to shred and use as bedding for your hamster).

8 means that it strives for achievement and wants to be a leader not a follower. We at Quench Towers have a need to excel ladies and gentlemen.

Features 11

A key characteristic of the new group of people turning to a spiritual way of life is that they tend to avoid claiming to belong to any one religion or specified belief system. This may be in order to avoid a sense of separation between groups, or it could simply be the result of disillusionment with much of organized religion.

It may seem that self-improvement can only do so much. Doesn’t suggesting that one can make a difference to the wider world just by meditating or being more centred seems a bit simplistic. Well not necessarily.

No man is an island. Even Hugh Grant couldn’t manage to be ‘bloody Ibiza’. As Phillip Pullman, author of the trilogy His Dark Materials, says in an interview with Caduceus magazine, ‘where I end and where the world begins is not just at the end of my skin because there are all sorts of tendrils and filaments of memory and influence and knowledge that I am unaware of consciously but which do extend from me both in space and time.’

If one person can maintain a sense of truth and a connection with their own soul, then they enable others around them to do the same.

By putting positive, loving, compassionate energy out into the atmosphere we help to create an environment where other people can more easily do the same. Just as negativity breeds negativity, positivity inspires positivity.

It might not be the stuff of superheroes, but surely now, more than ever before, it is important to try to cultivate a more peaceful society.

12

Features

Deep Impressions “

Emma Langley delves deeper beneath the surface and enjoys the buried treasure the ocean has to offer

DOES EVERYONE know what a trigger fish looks like?” Blank faces. “You can easily recognise a trigger fish by the fact that its big, has red and white stripes and it’s the fish that won’t swim away when you approach it but it will attack you.”

Good, got that one sorted then. “Oh, and its name is Larry.” So if it attacks me I would at least know its name.

I liked swimming and loved the ocean, but diving for the first time was scary, and not because of Larry the trigger fish. I decided to do the PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructors) Open Water Certification because I liked snorkelling to see pretty fish and coral, and while I was in a great place like south Thailand it seemed silly not to take advantage of such a cheap opportunity. That said, breathing only through a regulator and not being able to breathe through your nose at all does not exactly feel natural. The first day was spent in the swimming pool getting used to the equipment and practising skills. I didn’t relish the thought of throwing away your regulator 18 metres under water and changing air supplies seemed more than a little daunting.

The Open Water qualifies you to dive in open water down to 30 meters (18 when first qualified) without and instructor. Like most courses around the world it takes four days of a mixture of theory and practical. Diving is generally in ‘buddies’, a pair who check each others kit before entering the water and stay together under water. After the Open Water, PADI offer other courses such as the Advanced Diver which includes

nigh time and wreck diving, Rescue Diver, and Dive Master before instructor level.

We had two instructors for the most part of the four days: Maati, a Thai who seemed to have been diving so long that he had become a fish in all but needing air underwater, and a Canadian called Adam who’s other pearls of wisdom included, “Bangkok Women Are Really Friendly”(the anachronism for the order of our kit check) and “diving is just like meditation”. The second wasbetter founded.

It was amazing: just being able to go up or down in the water by controlling your breathing. After my fourth and final qualifying dive I didn’t want it to end.

The theory part was less fun.

Homework? I didn’t come on holiday to do homework. There are five theory modules that cover everything from basic equipment to fist aid navigation and the calculating the depth limit of your dive based on time and previous repetitive dives. It all got scientific.

Admittedly I was in a hot climate with thirty degree water, but it was only when I investigated learning to dive that I realised how many countries offer diving, including this one.

Britain isn’t blessed with hot or amazingly clear waters but I take it on word that there is good marine life and the harder diving conditions make Britain an ‘if you

can dive here you can dive anywhere’ scenario. You can dive off the Pembrokeshire, Scottish and Yorkshire cost lines which are among the amongst the most popular for learners.

Diving was once an extremely specialised activity that was far out of most people’s access. Now diving is a relatively easy to do activity that has become heavily imbedded in the tourism industry. Diving is on offer nearer to home in European and Medittarean countries that today go hand in hand with cheap flights. And you are not restricted to the ocean; people dive in caves and mountain lakes and quarries.

Unfortunately more divers can inevitably mean more damage to marine life. It is the parable of Australia’s Great Barrier Reef; popularity can be the own worst enemy.

However I did finds dive guides which published names of supposedly more eco-friendly companies.

I would definitely recommend diving as a great activity to do if you find yourself in place where it is on offer at a good price with a good reputation. Some companies will do ‘taster’ dives where you pay for an introduction dive rather than having to do the Open Water course. Any fears I had subsided as soon as I saw what was under the water. Swimming with the fishes puts you in a different world and a different mood. And yes, we found Nemo.

Features

13

No Laughing Matter Quench gets serious with one of life’s most taken-for-granted mysteries

M

ost of us do it and don’t even think about it, but laughter is serious stuff. Numerous physiological e research has been carried out into laughter and it remains a physiological, psychological, scientific and bilogicalical minefield of questions. Theses are just some of the basics…

What is laughter?

Laughter is the physiological response to what we term humour or consider comedy. According to A.H.Spencer, author of the Physiology of Laughter, “the nervous system system in general discharges itself on the muscle system in gereneral”. In very basic terms, the emotional and hormonal changes trigger muscle changes, the respitory system is upset by the epiglottis (bit of cartilage over the larynx ) half closing the larynx so air intake is irregular. Make any sense?

What causes laughter?

Laughter is dependent on the humour that triggers it.

According to current research, each individual has different neurological pathways through which audio or visual perceptions send signals to our brain. What each individual finds funny or humorous in the first place completely varies; basically scientists can not explain what forms or changes one persons sense of humour. However the Institute of Neurology in London scanned the brains of people listening to jokes playing on the meaning of words activated a different part of the brain than jokes that rely on the sounds of words. Neurological make- up also dictates why some people are a lot more ticklish than others and in what regions of the body.

HIstory of laughter Scientists are still procrastinating over how similar chimpanzees laughs are to our own, and when early man started to laugh rather than just expressing the vocal sounds we would

call speech. Just as significantly, attitudes to laughter evolved just as much as our understanding.

Laughter had it’s own etiqette, especially if youwere a lady of socia standing in the 19th and early 20th centuries. How and when to laugh was part of the Finishing School curriculum. One alsohad a duty to cultivate ones tastes for comedy, itself a fine art.

In a not so politically correct era, the psychologist J.Scully published his ‘An Essay on Laughter in 1902 in which laughter was characterised into ‘Groups of laughable things” including “References to the indecent” which were more common “among the jocosities of savage tribes and the less refined among civilised societies”.

Laughter was a social tonic in Victorian music houses as a escape from the harsh working lives in the factories and mines. While the upper classes referred to themas crude and religious groups dubed them ‘immoral’, mother-in-law joke after mother in law joke was common place in popukar entertainment.

Now there is a price on laughter: Comedians earn big bucks based on their ability to make us laugh, whether its Jack Dee’s dry dry wit or The League of Gentlemen’s black humour.

Cultural attitudes to laughter J.Scully was right however when he said that Culture was a great restraining influence on laughter. . Laughter isn’t always about humour. In Thai and Indonesian cultures people may continue to laugh and smile whether they are giving good news or bad news. It is important to appear happy and calm even when stressed. In ancient African tribal cultures laughter was a way for the chief to impose emotional control over the tribe, if the chief laughed so did everyone else.

Then there is the whole gender debate. The so dubbed “laddette culture” verses the opinion that loud raucous belly laughte is unfeminine therefore wrong.

Humans versus animals This one we were lost on. It is said that animals lack the cognitive complexities that humans possess, sounds logically enough. Apparently laughter in rats is only induced by tickling, but “rats that chirped the most were also the most eager to be tickled”. Make of that what you will.

When do you cry when you laugh?

The reaction to something that’s funny can release the same muscle responses to something that’s sad, even though the neurological process will be different. Laughter shares the same functions as crying. Both are a natural physical response to relieve stress and the muscle tension caused by stress.

Laughter as therapy Laughter boasts endorphins, the same chemicals released by eating chocolate or having sex, and reduces other hormones that are triggered .by stress. So laughing really is heathy Each to their own Everyone has a distinctive laugh, but some more so than others. Father Christmas’s trade mark is that jolly “hohohooo, Merrrrry Christmas”, but for that all time most annoying laugh it has to be Janice from Friends’ “Chandler Bing!.....” But Friends is a comedy; who can honestly say that they don’t at least smile as they cringe when they hear the laugh that has itself become an icon? Bad laughs are funny in themselves.

14 T r a v e l

grravel@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

Home of the Headhunters Maria Cox travels to Borneo, only to encounter headhunting tribes, snakes and a few cheeky monkeys

B

orneo is the world’s third largest island, situated around 400 km off the east coast of Malaysia. It is the home of the legendary Iban tribe (the head-hunters), the rare proboscis monkey, and around 50 national parks.

Borneo is separated into different areas: Sarawak and Sabah, owned by Malaysia and found in the North;

Traditional tribal dancing

Brunei, has an independent government and the remaining two thirds, and area called Kalimantan, owned by Indonesia.

This summer I visited Kuching, the capital of Sarawak and the city came as quite a surprise. I was expecting a poor, run down town (fairly typical for South East Asia!), but I was surprised to find a Huge Hilton hotel, Holiday Inn and more Prada and Gucci shops than there are in Cardiff! But that’s not to say you won’t find poor areas where the which locals tend to hang, with dirty food stalls, rubbish in the streets and cockroach infested restaurants!

Kuching is a good central location from which to visit most of the national parks in North Borneo. Bato National Park is one of the biggest in Borneo with miles of forest treks, a huge variety of flora and fauna and

some amazing animal species. The rare proboscis monkey can be found here, and we were lucky enough to get a glimpse of this rather ugly and elusive monkey with its huge nose! Other species of monkey, such as the Borneo Gibbons (related to the ape family) and long tailed macaques can be found here. Borneo also holds over fifty--six species of snake, from the Borneo blood python to the small black and yellow mangrove snake, which we came across several times.

Another great park to visit is the Niah Caves National Park, home to the oldest human remains in South East Asia.

Borneo is most famous for its indigenous tribes. There are over fifteen tribes altogether including the Penangs, Melanaus, and the Suluks found in Sabah.

In Semenggoh Orang-utan park

Tr a v e l

15

Hear ye, hear ye!

Travel is seeking to consolidate its position as the fount of all knowledge with a new noticeboard section. So if you have any travel tips you’re dying to share, or a travel-related question that’s keeping you awake at night (and who hasn’t woken in a cold sweat wondering ‘What’s a good bar in Barcelona’ or ‘Do I need to be immunised to go to South Africa’?), email it to us at grtravel@cf.ac.uk and your troubles will be over. And if we don’t know, there’s probably some lovely reader who does.

The most well known is the Iban tribe of the North which makes up thirty per cent of the population.

Historically the Iban tribe fought great wars with the Indonesian tribes for many years.

Many tribes live in houses on wooden stilts built over the rivers known as longhouses. It is possible to visit a longhouse and Iban tribe for around 250 ringgit, roughly 35 pounds. However, we decided this was a bit pricey and opted for the Sarawak Cultural Village just west of Kuching for 40 ringgit. Here you can visit typical housing from all the tribes in Borneo. Although the houses are not original and the people working not necessarily from real tribes, it gives you an understanding of the great variety of different tribal activities and ways of life.

Unfortunately most of the tribes have now become very Westernised, preferring to wear Adidas and Nike rather than their traditional colourful attire of gold, red silk and ivory. But Borneo still holds some surviving tribes such as The Miri Miri tribe found just west of Sabah who survive completely from the Jungle and have never ventured into the Westernised regions. This tribe are completely unaware of modern technology, roads, cars and buildings. They are visited once a year by non-government agen-

cies who provide medicine and supplies to these amazing people.

Kuching is also not far from the famous Semenggoh rehabilitation centre for orang-utans. The centre covers an area of 653 hectares, providing a natural environment for the oranutans to roam free. The centre cares for animals that have been captured and used illegally in Asia’s animal market for shows or photographers’ pets. You can see these orang-utans in their wild habitat for the small price of 70p. The feeding times are at 9am and 3pm, where you will catch them swaying through the forest on huge tree vines.

However some have become so tame that they will quite happily sit amongst the tourists, providing great photo opportunities.

Sabah, to the North-west of Borneo, is home to Mount Kinabalu over 1,400M high. Many eager tourists climb the mountain on a wellorganised excursion that houses you over night on the side of the mountain. Although the morning starts are a bit early – around 2 a.m. on the second day!

Diving in Sabah is also a must for anyone interested in the greater depths. Turtle Island, situated 40km from the east coast holds some amazing sites where many species of turtles and fish can be found.

Borneo is a wonderful place with a real mysterious atmosphere and a truly amazing number of animals – listening to them moving through the dense forests is a real experience. It holds an interesting history of tribal wars and conflicting religions. If you are ever planning a trip to South East Asia, Borneo has to be a high priority place to visit.

16

F a s h i o n

grfashion@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

Turning rags into riches Charity and clothes. Two causes always worthy of throwing a bit of cash at.

Cancer Research Wales: The last few years we’ve done some great work for cancer sufferers in Wales. To make sure this carries on we need to do a bit of fundraising.

The Capitol Shopping Centre: We’re lovely people. We want to help.

CRW. Great. Thanks. How? The Capitol Shopping Centre: Well, we’ve got shops and clothes. What about a Charity Fashion Show?

CRW: What a good idea. But where will we hold it?

Cardiff Students’ Union: We’re lovely people too. And luckily enough we’ve got a great big hall. D’ya wana hold it there?

CRW: Why not!

Then students can come!

And there it was. The idea for the Capitol Centre Charity Fashion Show held in the Great Hall was born.

Featuring clothing from the stores situated in the shopping centre, the event will take place on October 17.

With tickets costing less than a night of drunken antics, Fashion Desk urge anyone interested in fashion, clothes and supporting a fantastic cause to support the event. For only a tenner you are welcomed with a drink on arrival, bidded farewell with a goody bag and entertained with fashion shows throughout the evening.

Tickets are avaliable from from the Cardiff University Box Office or by phoning 02920781458. All proceeds are to be donated to the Cancer Research Wales Charity.

Fancy a stroll down the catwalk yourself?

Cancer Research Wales Founded in 1966, Cancer Research Wales funds research into the developement of a cancer vaccine for specific types of cancer that do not always respond to radiotherapy or chemotherapy.

Based in the Velindre Cancer Centre, purpose-built laboratories in Cardiff, the studies conducted are pineering and some of them are the first of their kind anywhere in the world. In the last few years, the charity has been able to raise over £3 million to help maintain these centres, enabling them to play a part in the treatment and diagnosis of cancer sufferers in Wales. Without the support of events like the Capitol Centre Charity Fashion Show, the charity will no be able to continue the amazing work that it does.

If you want to help out and fancy your chances in the modelling world, the Capitol Shopping Centre are currently looking for two people to star in the show. Not only will you receive £250 pounds for your efforts, you will have the chance to apear in other advertising campaigns for the Capitol Shopping Centre. To enter send a full length and/ or passport photograph of yourself to: Laura Avery/ Vanessa Thomas, Events Department, Cardiff Students’ Union, Park Place, Cardiff, CF10 3QN. Please include your name, term-time address, telephone number, academic course and year.

Entries must be received by October 7th.

Vernon: if he’s got what it takes, surely you must have Kate: nipple caressing worked for her Naomi: best foot forward

Thatcherism is back But luckily, not as we know it.

By Perri Lewis, Fashion Ed.

A

nd it has nothing to do with imprisoned offspring, striking miners or ghastly shoulder pads. Yes, the lady of the eighties has returned to the forefront of the nation’s minds. As a fashion icon. Hmm... we weren’t convinced either.

When Thatcherism springs to mind, it is rarely followed by a whole load of neuronal activity connected to current clothing trends. Until now. According to the elite who Fashion Desk frequently fraternatise with, her look is hot property. Hmm... we’re still not convinced.

Is power dressing back we wonder? Are the indie kid blazers growing shoulder pads and evolving into the jackets of the eighties? It’s a justified assumption.

But unfortunately Fashion Desk are wrong. The fashion elite chastise us accordingly for such a faux par. Power dressing back? What a ridivulous thought they scoff.

No no no. The blazers of last year are taking a softer shape and transforming into belted jackets, cardigans and other lady-like garments. Power dressing is seasons away: Fashion Desk give themselves a firm slap on the wrist.

Where the former Prime Minister comes in is still questionable. Until you look in Vogue. October’s issue is filled with talk of ‘tweed’, ‘peacocks’, ‘equestrian’ and ‘librarian chic’. Apparently it is Mrs. Thatcher who who fits the bill.

Actually, when we looked a little closer, we could kind of see where the fashion elite were coming from. She can frequently be seen in the kind of knee-length skirts, muted colours and little brooches that can be found all over the highstreet this autumn. We faked an understanding nod at the fashion elite, but when they left we had to stiffle a scoff. I mean, ‘librarian chic’; seriously, what the fuck?

Fashion Desk want men To write. Not to play with (Booo... -Ed).

After reminiscing over old copies of Quench, we realised that we may have dedicated a little too much content to our female readers last year. For this we can do no more than apologise to Cardiff’s frustrated male fashionistas. To recify this we intend to welcome you into our pages with open arms this year. But we’re going to need your help because Fashion Desk is currently inhabited by a couple of girls. If you’ve got anything to say that is remotely connected to these pages, come and see us in the gair rhydd office or e-mail us at perri_grfashion@hotmail.com. Obviously we still welcome anyone of any sex who wants to write for us; a little lady action is always appreciated by Fashion Desk when the flow of men starts to dry up.

Fashion

17

The fashion misadventures of

lily griffiths Episode Two. Lily does it horsey style.

Vogue is my bible. You read a couple of pages, see who’s wearing what, and then blow a couple of hundred on the highstreet. It’s normally easier than my housemate after a couple of drinks at Creation. Imagination never really comes into keeping up with recent trends; copy the cheapskate version of Kate Moss’s latest ensemble and you’re automatically elevated in the minds of your fashion peers.

This month, however, I was rendered unless. To my horror, the pages discussing the latest trend of ‘equestrian’ went up in flames after my Vogue had a nasty incident with a cigarette.

Looking around the shops gave me little inspiration of what dressing ‘equestrian’ entailed, so I took matters matters into my own hands and did what any true follower of fashion would. I paid a visit to the source of the trend. According to the Collins Essential English Dictionary, this season is ‘relates to horses’. So naturally I went to a stable yard. At first I didn’t fancy the style too much. I know Schuh have been selling wellies, but are we really expected to look like someone who’s just mucked out a load of horse shit? But after a sneaky look around, I got a bit luckier. I found a jacket that would look great with jeans. I figured the sturdy red overcoat would be the garment of the season so I took it upon myself to nab one.

I wore it on a shopping excursion last week. At first it was great; I got loads of second glances from everyone I walked past. I held my head high and continued to strut down St Mary’s Street. Unfortunately I was unaware of the connotations of this jacket, until a young anti-hunting protestor smacked me in the face. Either Vogue is trying make a huge political statement this season by promoting these hunting jackets, or I made a huge mistake in my choice of ‘equestrian’ wear. I think it was the latter.

18

G a y

Quench 04 10 04

grgay@cf.ac.uk

CARDIFF SCENE

UNCOVERED Quench rates the clubs and pubs of the Cardiff gay scene...

A Club X

s a selfless act of benevolence, we spent a Saturday night drinking and dancing to bring you this guide to Cardiff’s gay scene.

We’ve marked each venue in ten catagories: 1 Entry fee. 2 Cost of a round - one pint of lager and a double vodka and coke. 3 Time to get served.

4 Friendliness of staff. 5 Décor. 6 Toilets. 7 Music. 8 Talent. 9 A positive. 10 A negative.

A. Club X B. kX (formerly Kings Cross) C. Exit D. DnA (Detox and Addiction) E. Golden Cross F. Lush

grgay@cf.ac.uk

By Ian Loynd Gay Editor

D

iscovering where and when to go out as a gay student isn’t necessarily as easy as you may think - especially if you are new to a city or have not come out.

The Cardiff scene is small but welcoming. It offers something for all tastes but choice is limited.

We have compiled this guide to give you a brief insight into what the capital has to offer. The rankings are - of course - a matter of opinion. So why not get out there and make your own minds up?

If you have any comments about Cardiff’s clubs and pubs, please let us know at the usual address.

Your contributions are, as always, welcome.

A C F B

E

D

CARDIFF SCENE

Gay

UNCOVERED

19

Golden Cross Traditional bar/Beer garden

1. Entry: £0 (10) 2. Cost of a round: £6.75 (3) 3. Time to get served: 10 sec (10) 4. Friendliness of staff (8) 5. Decor (3) 6. Toilets (5) 7. Music (5) 8. Talent (6) 9. A positive: Extensive daytime menu - well, it’s different! (6) 10. A negative: Tailored for more ‘mature’ clientelle (1) Total: 57/100

57%

T

he Golden is unique. A listed building with an undeniable faded beauty. Each wall is exquisitly tiled or dons an impressive mosaic of Cardiff Castle or alike.

Yet under this seemingly traditional and demure guise, a very different scene presents itself.

Mirror balls and Shirley Bassey are what The Golden is all about.

Rarely must a pub juxtapose the vibrancy of modern gay culture with a traditional pipe-smoking culture so effectively.

However, drinking here requires an open mind. If you’re a fan of cheesy hits and can brush aside the glances from single old men you’ll have a ball.

If you are on the pull or have tastes in music beyond ABBA, think again.

Apparently the Sunday roast is worth a try.

“like

getting indrunk your

granny’s

living room”

Lush Wine bar

1. Entry: £0 (10) 2. Cost of a round: £8.50 (1) 3. Time to get served: 0 min (10) 4. Friendliness of staff (7) 5. Decor (9) 6. Toilets (8) 7. Music (3) 8. Talent (5) 9. A positive: Great for a first date (7) 10. A negative: The ridiculously over-priced drinks (1) Total: 61/100

61%

L

uxury is the theme and Lush delivers it in abundance.

Sumptuous leather sofas invite you to relax and indulge in the pleasures of Cardiff’s finest wine bar.

Lush excels where the other pubs and clubs of the city’s gay scene fail so miserably. It is clean, chic and stunningly beautiful.

Yet it disappoints on price. Your student loan will not stretch far should you make Lush your regular drinking haunt.

Neither will you be satisfied if you like to dance. Space is one luxury even Lush cannot afford.

The moody incandescence of the hundreds of candles and the mellow tunes will make even the hardi-

Lush est of you a little romantic.

For the more opportunistic student, wealthy men are in good supply.

“great for

a date...

...or convenient for

a kebab”

CARDIFF SCENE

20 G a y

UNCOVERED

Club X

Cheese room/Dance room/Bar/Beer garden/Games room/Dark room

1. Entry: £6.00 (5) 2. Cost of a round: £6.10 (4) 3. Time to get served: 2 min (6) 4. Friendliness of staff (5) 5. Decor (3) 6. Toilets (1) 7. Music (10) 8. Talent (9) 9. A positive: A vibrancy comparable to no other (9) 10. A negative: Dirty, dirty, dirty (3) Total: 55/100

C

lub X is Cardiff’s best known and most established gay venue.

It is a proud club: Proud to be gay. Proud to be big. Proud to be the best.

Club X succeeds in catering for all tastes and does so with a unique humour. Dotted around are posters with quips such as “Smile you’re in a gay club”.

Its sense of community - grounded in its regular clientele - makes up for its shortcomings.

Club X is dirty. It possibly has the worst toilets in the city. Urinals with mirrors above and cubicles with no doors. Or lights. Or seats.

But beyond the peeling paint and tattered chairs lies a real cel-

ebration of homosexuality.

If a messy, drunken and care-free night is your thing, this is the place to be.

“dirty but

dynamic.

a

must see”

55% kX

Bar/Caberet/Outdoor seating

bX

Clu

1. Entry: £0 (10) 2. Cost of a round: £5.40 (5) 3. Time to get served: 30 sec (9) 4. Friendliness of staff (6) 5. Decor (4) 6. Toilets (4) 7. Music (4) 8. Talent (5) 9. A positive: Outside seating in Mill Lane - great in the summer (4) 10. A negative: Too much glitter.

Too much drag. (2) Total: 53/100

k

X is without doubt the runt of the Cardiff litter. A popular venue indeed, but not for students.

This bar gets it wrong in so many ways. kX is as confused about its identity as many of its customers.

Its misconceptions of modernity and taste are unparalleled.

It has a pseudo-disco theme which is uncomfortably partnered with a traditional pub feel. It just does not work.

The venue seems popular amongst the ladies though. The lesbian community is not as well catered for in Cardiff so kX is providing a much welcomed service.

Ladies, however, are equally the downfall of kX. Straight ladies, that

is. Hen parties engulf the premises and never seem to realise just how annoying they are.

“bad

bad

bad

bad

bad”

53%

CARDIFF SCENE

Gay

UNCOVERED

21

DnA

Cheese room/Dance room/Chill out room/Outdoor roofed terrace

1. Entry: £6 (5) 2. Cost of a round: £6.40 (3) 3. Time to get served: 30 sec (9) 4. Friendliness of staff (5) 5. Decor (8) 6. Toilets (7) 7. Music (8) 8. Talent (9) 9. A positive: Stylish - a refreshing change for the Cardiff scene (7) 10. A negative: Hot and smokey in the main room (4) Total: 65/100

65%

W

e applaud DnA. Cardiff is becoming one of Britain’s most vibrant and exciting cities and at last the gay community is keeping up.

Detox and Addiciton is a trendy, clean and well decorated venue. It offers a convincing alternative to Club X with a main room, a cheese room and an under cover beer terrace.

The clientele is young. The music is good. And there is a friendly face on the door.

DnA lacks the atmosphere of X but the club is in its infancy. It will have to work hard to establish itself as THE gay club of Wales.

The omission of air conditioning will be a costly mistake

as the main room is hot and smokey. And if you are counting the calories, you won’t find diet cola here.

DnA promises to be a real student favourite.

“a

decent club in the

nick of

time”

Exit

Cheese room/Dance room/Beer garden

1. Entry: £3 (5) 2. Cost of a round: £5.60 (5) 3. Time to get served: 1 min (7) 4. Friendliness of staff (5) 5. Decor (2) 6. Toilets (3) 7. Music (7) 8. Talent (6) 9. A positive: Great for the ladies (9) 10. A negative: Oppressive and sweaty (4) Total: 53/100

53%

E

DnA

xit appears to be a dark, dismal club with little to attract a student. In many ways this is true. But it does offer some advantages which are worth congratulating.

Exit is cheap and a great place to drink before going to your club of choice. It is situated directly opposite Club X and a short walk from Addiction.

It has an established ‘lesbian bar’ and between its two rooms the music can be excellent.

However, it is crowded and hot with no air conditioning. It too often has a strange smell which you can only imagine is not healthy.

The clientele is varied but primarily older than most students. This

can lead to an uncomfortable feel.

Exit is a ‘love it or hate it’ kind of club so you’ll have to make your own minds up.

“how can we

put it?

...um,

seedy”

23 R e v i e w s

Quench 04 10 04

grmagazine@cf.ac.uk

SUPER FURRY SONGBOOK

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS SONGBOOK: THE SINGLES -- VOLUME ONE Sony

I

t’s hard to believe that a bunch of stoners from the Valleys who started out singing songs about Howard Marks, pills, and pet hamsters would go on to release some of the finest pop songs of the last decade. This compilation comprises every single that the band has released from their six studio albums and also includes Ice Hockey Hair and the pre- Creation era tune Blerwytirhwng, both making their debut on a SFA album.

Whilst for some bands the release of a greatest hits collection means that they’re trying to remind us of former glories before they bore us with their "refreshingly different" new direction, Songbook is a collection of

singles from a band who have continued to produce high quality albums throughout their career.

Whereas many bands seem to reach a peak then frustratingly release below-par albums that make you forget why you actually like them in the first place (e.g. Oasis, Stereophonics, need I say more?) the Super Furries are one of the most consistently great bands around today. It’s impossible to state which of their albums is the best, as each one has some different quality that makes it stand out from the others, whether it’s the nearly, but not quite, brit-pop sound of Fuzzy Logic, demonstrated here in Something 4 The Weekend, or the electro-indie sound of Slow Life, from recent album Phantom Power, the Super Furry Animals have constantly pleased fans

10/10 and critics by keeping the standard of each album as high as the last.

Other than Radiohead, no other British band of recent times have managed to do this and liike Radiohead the Super Furry Animals have done this by constantly evolving and pushing them,selves as artisits, Whether its confusing most of their fans by releasing an album entirley in Welsh or by exploring the capabilities of DVD and surround sound and incorporating them into their music they’ve remained an exciting and relevant band.

Quite simply they are the greatest band that Wales has ever produced.

Jon Davies

24

M u s i c

Quench 04 10 04

grmagazine@cf.ac.uk

a step in the

Left B

y now, the furore of moving to a new town will be over, the novelty of creation will be fading, and the monotony of Solus will be dawning on all you lovely Freshers. "Surely there’s more?" you’ll be asking yourself as you knock back your tenth Carling of the day (N.B It’s at about the 10th pint that Carling will cease to taste of the Taf, trust me). While we may all be familiar with irregular jaunts to Wembley Arena, the NEC of the MEN, few of you will have ever experienced so much live potential on your doorstep.

So where to start? Before you find yourself accidentally, or deliberately, in a Tweenies show (yep, they’re playing in Cardiff soon), familiarise yourself with the fountain of knowledge that is Quench Music’s guide to the sights and sounds of the Welsh capitals music scene.

If blowing your loan at featured establishments isn’t your thing, but Music is, come and see us on the 4th floor of the Students’ Union.

We’re always after new contributors, and whilst we can’t guarantee you’ll take something home every week, we’ll share our pearls of wisdom with you. Instead of asking for your precious money, all we ask is for your thoughts on the newest releases (although donations are acceptable). So if you fancy the best albums before they are released in the shops, or desperately want tickets to that sold out show, come and have a chat with us on the 4th floor, or come to our weekly meetings, Monday at 5.15. And we promise not to bite. We’re nice guys after all.

Sam Coare and Jon Davies, Quench Music Eds.

CARDIFF INTERNATIONAL ARENA Mary Ann Street Tel: 02920 224488 Web: www.cclive.co.uk/cia With its 7,500 capacity, the CIA is easily the biggest indoor venue in town. Dodgy acoustics aside, it gives those of you prepared to spend £30 on a ticket the chance to see a variety of top acts. Last year alone saw Radiohead, Iron Maiden, the Strokes and Wales’ own Super Furry Animals headline, while Blue provided entertainment at the other end of the genre (and quality) spectrum.

Upcoming shows include The Darkness, Manic Street Preachers, Slayer and Slipknot, along with Ronan Keating and Will Young. Tickets sell out quick, so get yourself the listings and book early.

MILLENNIUM STADIUM

St Mary Street Tel: 08700138600 Web: www.milleniumstadium.co.uk Ok, so it’s not really a music venue, but it did put on two of the biggest shows this past year. Stereophonics Christmas bash brought the Welsh trio to 60,000 people, while the Red Hot Chili Peppers switched Hyde Park for Wales, again drawing crowds in the thousands. Nothing much planned this side of the New Year, so save your pennies for REM’s summer extravaganza, coming this way in July.

THE GREAT HALL

Students’ Union, Park Place Tel and Web: Stop being lazy, and have a look in on your way to the Taf The Union’s very own venue, drawing large crowds to whomever it may host. We students demand the best

direction and in the likes of The Darkness, Keane, Hundred Reasons and Funeral For A Friend, we certainly got the biggest. Razorlight, HIM and Fatboy Slim all have dates lined up, so get down to the Box Office for info.

BARFLY

Kingsway Tel: 02920 667668 Web: www.barflyclub.com Once you’ve established your student loan will just about pay for beans on toast every day, Barfly will become your spiritual home of live music.

Playing host to the soon-to-be-huge music population of the world, the fly is the perfect place to see the bands of tomorrow for the price of a couple of pints. The Darkness, The Datsuns and the Kings of Leon all played here before hitting the big time. Last year saw Razorlight, Amplifier and Young Heart Attack full its tiny stage, while the coming weeks hold Yourcodenameis:Milo, Seafood, thisGIRL and Oceansize.

CLWB IFOR BACH

Womanby Street Tel: 02920 232199 Web: www.clwb.net Possibly the strangest venue in the world, the Welsh Club’s third floor doubles up to offer loud, in-your-face yet pleasantly intimate experiences with the likes of the 22-20’s and 36 Crazyfists. Whilst Biffy Clyro, Four Tet and Kasabian filled its rafters last year, early listings remain few and far between, so keep an eye out for updated listings.

S p i l l e rs : E v e n o l d e r t h a n y o u r N a n

MUSIC SHOPPING Cardiff Stylee

I

f you’ve just arrived in Cardiff and you’re looking for places to buy music, you’ll probably be drawn to the usual high street chains. Virgin, HMV and MVC are all present and correct, you’ll find the first two on Queen Street (the massive street running through the centre of town).

Both will be you expect, but are not without their charms.

Virgin has a wider selection due to the size of the store, however it’s currently receiving a botox injection in order to compete with the new store HMV are about to unleash on us, so the usual range of CDs and vinyl has been reduced. As is the case with many chain stores, you may have a bit of trouble trying to track down obscure stuff. MVC over the other side of town (the Hayes) is definitely the weakest of the three -- its only advantage is that you may occasionally find a bargain in there.

If you’re over that side of town I recommend you check out a shop that’s completely unique to the ‘Diff.

Spillers is the oldest record shop in the world and, at a time when every high street in Britain looks exactly the same, a true diamond in the rough.

With a wide selection of music ranging from popular to the obscure it’s likely you’ll find what you’re after, and usually at a cheaper price than the high street chains. The store also stocks music from local unsigned, bands and if vinyl is your bag it’s the best place to find 7" indie/rock records in town.

For those of you who are more into the world of dance/drum and bass/hip hop and are looking for vinyl you should head to Catapult, situated in the trendy High Street arcade. Here you’ll find the best selection of underground dance/D+B vinyl in Cardiff, plus most of the guys who work there are DJs so they know what they’re talking about. If you’re after that latest Shapeshifters classic though best stick to HMV or Virgin.

Even seasoned veterans of Cardiff may have missed Kelly’s Records, tucked away in the indoor market next to Howell’s. Its easy to miss but next

Music

25

time you walk past brave the fishy smell of the entrance, go upstairs and have a look. With a wide selection of CD’s and vinyl it’s definitely an oftoverlooked shop.

You may think that the city center is the only place to find music but if you venture out into the mysterious world of Roath you can find a few hidden gems.

D’Vinyl in my opinion is the greatest shop in the world. You’ll find it next to the George at the bottom of Crwys Road but unless you’re a music geek like me you may not like it. If though you are a geek and are looking for that hard to find Smith’s 7" it’s likely you’ll find it here. Be prepared to have a dig for it they’ve got enough stock for a shop three times it’s size, but don’t be afraid to move stuff about the guy’s who work there are safe as fuck. Also if you’re in the area you should check out The Record Shop; it’s on Inverness Place and like D’Vinyl stocks a lot of second hand and hard to find records.

So there you have it -- the music lovers guide to Cardiff! Freshly armed with your loan check in your bank account, now’s the best time to start hunting!

26

Albums

Welcome to

Mediocrity THE MUSIC Welcome to the North Virgin

F

ive years since the conception of the band, and 2 years since their eponymous debut, The Music have fallen into the trap expertly laid by themselves. When, in September 2002, the debut album entered British charts, the band had laid down a blueprint, copyrighting the unique sound, they were hailed as the start of something big.

Indistinguishable and free of generic convention, a new monster was born.

So is the disappointment of follow up Welcome to the North strictly as a result of their own success?

Admittedly, this was never going to be as groundbreaking, but it’s a wasted chance to consolidate. Criticism of the debut came in the form of a lacking anthem, something immediately representative of the bands frantic noise. It did, however, deliver track after track of crisp, clean quality.

"This is progress" vocalist Rob Harvey has quoted. Progress it may be, but it hasn’t built on previous efforts.

The lacking hits are now here.

6/10 Newly released single Freedom Fighters seems unavoidable should you switch on MTV, and if opening lyrics haven’t wormed your way into your brain by now, you need to question its existence. Standout track Breakin, with its foot-tappingly-good drum beat and 5,6,7,8’s like ‘uh-oh, uh-oh’ threatens to carry The Music into the mainstream. Everything looks rosy. Cessation delivers the trademark blend of dance-rock, irresistibly upping the tempo to near breaking point.

Then the problems persist. The momentum of the previous tracks is lost in the four minute drone of Fight the Feeling, destroying the impact of Guide, which harks back to the glory days of Northern English Indie rock.

Lessons have been learnt, others wastefully forgotten. The second half of the album stops and starts more than your average Biffy Clyro song, stumbling from its opening sprint to it’s staggering and eventual crawling death. Into the night is a fantastic song, beautfifully written and heartfelt, but its simply not convincing, and whilst every artist develops a changing style, ignoring what you do best is

evidentaly costly.

Unfortunately, the album whimpers to a close. One way in, no way out meanders aimlessly, whilst Open your mind has no purpose or place on such an album.

So what now for the Leeds four piece? No doubt the album will be a success in the mainstream: it’s far more accesible than the previous effort, and no doubt will win them more fans. But current fans will be left with a disappointing taste in the mouth. Whilst no-one would have wanted a replica of their debut efforts, many would have wanted a more appreciative nod towards the style that brought them where they are.

The band that split the music loving population, this’ll only conspire to make the love/hate divide even wider.

Many may join the argument, but expect a few who loved them for previous efforts turning their backs.

Sam Coare

BIFFY CLYRO Infinity Land

Beggars Banquet

C'mon the Biff: step forward into the spotlight. Stop lurking in the shadows. It's okay to be ginger and beardy, especially when you're clutching one of the albums of the year. In typical Biffy-esque fashion Infinity Land sounds like it was recorded in a teapot on the band’s lunch break from McDonalds but choons like My Recovery Injection and Glitter and Trauma are just so damn good it doesn't matter and looks likely to streamline the masters of mosh-togroove transition right to the top.9/10 Greg Cochrane

THE FIERY FURNACES Blueberry Boat Rough Trade

The result is very pleasing and this promising debut from a fledgling band brandishes some rock and roll corkers. Album highlights include bluespunk thrills Devil in Me and 22 Days, garage rock masterpieces Such a Fool and Shoot Your Gun and semi-misogynistic-but-actually-really-good Why Don't You Do It For Me? Sure, there are some weak tracks, The Birthday Party-esque Friends goes nowhere, but overall, The 22-20's join The Secret Machines in the excellent post-garage rock wave we are currently being treated to. 8/10 Reshma Patel

SAVES THE DAY Ups and Downs; Early Recordings and B-sides.

Vagrant

It was bound to happen. The Friedberger siblings turn to bananas Beefheart-esque atonal baroque-indie eight-part concept songs for their sophomore album. The end result, an ADD-fuelled mash-up of folktronica and haphazard drumming must have sounded great on paper, and to be fair, every 23 minutes or so, you get half a good song. However, its incohesion renders it almost completely unlistenable and sounds like a soporific Funkmaster Flex trying to mix the first Beta Band album. Rubbish. 3/10

Hardly revolutionaries in this day or any other, New Jersey’s Saves the Day, despite all looking and sounding like they wouldn’t get served in Threshers, have been around for the best part of a decade now. What’s fascinating here is how they’ve switched styles exactly at the point of it becoming popular: pop punk quickly evolved into more hardcore emostylings before showing that the door, and although the sub-Ash indie drivel they peddle these days is more towards the "downs", you can do worse than this. 7/10

Jon Widdop

Jon Widdop

WINNEBAGO DEAL Dead Gone

GOLDIE LOOKIN CHAIN Greatest Hits

The debut from this British three-piece is sure to make it into the collection of any self-respecting metal fan.

Proving their worth against any American metal act, Winnebago Deal set the tone, in Breakdown, for a record that firmly establishes their distinctive razor-edge guitar sound.

Better tracks include the new single, Cobra and guaranteed crowd pleasers Shankfight and Did It Done It Doing It Again. Saving the best ‘til last, the title track gives the record its highlight with an impressive seven minute instrumental. With a business-like precision, Dead Gone leaves a lasting adrenaline fuelled impression. 7/10

Doubtless you’ve encountered the comedy stylings of the Newport spoof rappers the GLC by now, be it from their underground days, or more recently from their sure to be shortlived commercial career. So, now is the time to get their Greatest Hits while they’re still hot and tracks such as Half man half machine and You knows I love you firstly split your sides; before allowing you to appreciate their talent and immense gift for parodying all manner of rap and R&B. Quite simply "safe as fuck". 9/10

Double Dragon

Joanne Coates

THE 22-20’S Eponymous Heavenly

22-20's guitarist/songwriter Martin Trimble clearly spent his youth listening to The Stooges and The Modern Lovers, and thought; 'Hey! I'm gonna have a pop at this rock lark!'

EastWest

Albums

27

need another group of bed wetters singing about how pain-filled life is?

No doubt they’ll become huge and headline V festival next year, but who gives a shit? 4/10 Jon Davies

JOSS STONE Mind, Body and Soul Relentless

At just seventeen this is British teenager Joss Stone's second album and follows the successful debut The Soul Sessions. Fans of Stone won’t be disappointed with her latest offering. She has left the cover versions behind and begins to shine in her right as she delivers a cool blend of soul, pop and R’n’B climaxing with new single You had me. Although a little slow in places tracks such as Don’t cha wanna ride and Right to be wrong make this the perfect evening chill out album. 8/10 Carly O’Donnell

THE BEAUTY SHOP Crisis Helpline Shoeshine Records

This American trio are somewhat of a little treasure. Not big by any standards they are nonetheless attuned to the grace and heartbreak of the forgotten soul. A bit country and a bit indie they retain a splendour all of their own. Think Ryan Adams with golden nipples and ice heeled shoes. 8/10 The Blizzard Bandit

Simeon Rosser-Trokas

THIRTEEN SENSES The Invitation Vertigo

All hail the new Kings of MOR indie!

It’s all here: epic piano led ballads, acoustic guitars and falsetto vocals.

The early promise of crushing single Thru the glass gets pissed away in an album full of dreary Coldplay-esque ballads. In a world full of shitty indie bands such as Keane do we really

Joss Stone: good clean fun...

28

Albums

KAMA AINA Music Activist Geographic

Kama Aina, or Native Man to translate it from Hawaiian, is definitely the most original and different music I’ve heard so far in 2004. Japan’s Takuji Aoyagi project has created an album based on his travels around the world picking up traditional sounds and music and incorporating them into his tracks. Bali and Hawaii have had obvious influences but so have Italy and Spain in a more subtle matter.

Interesting, diverse, a definite treat for those who enjoy unique music.

5/10 Elgan Iorwerth

GISLI How About That?

EMI

Gisli is an Icelandic resident of Norway. Thus we may expect the 26year-old’s world-view to be a little Scandinavian. However, ‘How About That?’ contains songs about Gareth Gates outing himself, lilted in a Stars in Their Eyes tribute to Beck.

Despite the Americanisms, Gisli sounds like Simple Kid or a poppy Ben Kweller. Witty one-liners about drug use and the evilness of lawyers make this debut both listenable and fun, so how about that? 8/10 Will Dean

THE HIGH STRUNG There are Good Times Tee Pee

Instantly this album brings up images of 60s Mod-rock bands like The Who. The band from Detroit has teamed up with White Stripes producer Jim Diamond to create a memorable and

Ian Broudie: Ladies Man

enjoyable album. You half expect these songs to appear on Heartbeat.

The retro feeling album has a certain intangible quality which puts it above most other albums out now. It may not be original but it’s been a while since we’ve had anything like this. If you want great Mod-rock buy The Who’s greatest hits. If you want new, enjoyable Mod-rock, buy this! 8/10 Elgan Iorwerth

IAN BROUDIE Tales Told Deltasonic

Former Lightning Seed Broudie reinvented himself as star producer for both The Zutons and The Coral. The influence of Skelly and Co. is particularly clear here. The acoustic intro opening track Song for No One sounds almost identical to Magic and Medicine’s Leizah.

It’s a move away from the glossy pop of his old band and Dadrock fans may enjoy this wilted Scouse-country but at this rate it looks like Broudie’s main avenue of mainstream success will be with his Mercury nominated young bands. 3/10 Will Dean

GABRIELLE 25 Twenty More Fish In The Sea FF Vinyl

Gabrielle 25 hail from north Wales and gosh, don’t they sound like it.

Well, not really, no. Like The Thrills and Teenage Fanclub before them, Gabrielle 25 exude a sunny brand of no-frills pop that detracts from their rainy natural climates. However a mixture of Welsh and English lyrics does offer them a brand of SFA-like Welshenticity. The result of their textured plucky pop is nothing if not pleasant but there is plenty happy strummy guitar music going round at the moment, like those nice McFly boys for example. 5/10 Will Dean

THE WONDER STUFF Escape From Rubbish Island IRL

The band who gave us arguably one of the greatest singles of all time (The Size Of A Cow) return with the same handclaps, the same sound and the illuminating concept that Britain is a "rubbish island". There's no getting away from the fact that the Wonder Stuff are now an awful band and that they should have quit years ago while they were ahead. The moment of truth is when the phrase "text messaging" appears in the fourth song. It sounds

so out of place that you press stop and root out The Size Of A Cow from the attic. 3/10 Rob Telford

WRECKLESS ERIC Bungalow Hi Southern Domestic

The lowest of the lo-fi, Eric made his name by working with Ian Dury's Blockheads and by generally being a pub-rock legend. As the title might suggest, his umpteenth album is about the trials and tribulations of British domesticity. Bungalow Hi isn't the most sublime music you'll ever hear, but it's got a whole lot of heart, reality and truth to it. You don't often hear someone sing existentially for their 7-inches, or describe a parallel universe where the people wear 'the same shabby fleeces', or cogitate on 'all tomorrow's housewives'. All in all, it's superbly flawed and seriously humorous. 8/10 Rob Telford

BIRD The Insides

Ice Cream Records

This girl has influences and experience from every corner of the musical world. From an accomplished cellist at the age of six to drumming in a punk band and a violinist in the London jazz club scene (nice). This album could easily be compared to the ever-growing likes of Dido, not good I know, but at the same time there seems to be an original feel to it. Her talents as a singer/ song writer and her multiinstrumental skills are clearly present in her vocals and the music. Chilled out and mellow, good for falling asleep to. 7/10 Luke Pavey

MULA All Electric

Stompa Phunk

Mula received a warm response from the dance music press on release of two earlier singles. This is their debut album All Electric- 12 tracks of mediocre electronica - the clue is in the album title, hardly the most original. There’s an equal serving of funky electro-house and punky electro-rock, neither styles are undertaken with any real sparkle. The funky-house numbers are a bit soft and dull, and the more rocky tracks are a bit reminiscent of the Scissor Sisters, but with less lyrics, creativity or flair. 3/10 John Williams

DEVENDRA BANHART Little Yellow Spider XL

A great, spaced-out single, Banhart is a jewel in the postmodern fallout's crown. The starkness of his echoey acoustic guitar on the three additional tracks is set off exquisitely by a calm, vaguely Buckley-esque drawl, this is minimalism at its absolute and profound limit. He's obviously barking mad, too. 8/10 Rob Telford

MUSE Butterflies & Hurricanes

KEVIN MARK TRAIL Perspective

A track of almost symphonic qualities off their superb album Absolution. Muse continue where they left off with yet another perfectly crafted song of epic proportions.

The CD also includes a Radio 2 Session of Sing for Absolution as a B-Side along with the new u-mix enhancements. Worth any music lovers money! 9/10

Nice and enjoyable track. Reggaeesque with a nice blend of brass instruments with drum beats. Has shades of The Streets in parts due to the artist having provided vocals for some of their songs. Generally a good debut single. 7/10

Atlantic Records

Elgan Iorwerth

THE 80’S MATCHBOX BLINE DISASTER Rise of the Eagles Island

The Brighton boys with the glam and the guitar slam again release a record with more potential than promise. At least they're getting QOTSA producer Chris Goss in on the act this time. All in all more of a Joshua Homme pastiche than a true challenger. 5/10 The Blizzard Bandit

JENTINA French Kisses Virgin

Better than ‘baddass stripper’, and a revamped image, (no mean feat, it couldn’t really get much worse than the townie-bling). ‘French Kisses’, whilst fairly catchy is unmemorable Pop R’n’B, but it’s less irritating than those 411 girls. 4/10 John Williams

BRAKES Pick Up The Phone Tugboat

A four-piece super-group (comprising Electric Soft Parade, British Sea Power and Tenderfoot members). Brakes' debut single is three tracks, two of which are under 30 seconds and one of which only contains the words "Cheney, stop being such a dick".

Zero tolerance of complexity. 4-3-2-1Brilliant.. 10/10 Rob Telford

EMI

Elgan Iorwerth

THE CONCRETES Seems Fine EMI

The good Cardigans return with the second single from their superb eponymous album. Described, somewhat bizarrely, by the press release as an ‘upbeat summer anthem’, it’s not, ‘Seems Fine’ drifts along quietly yet preciously. Catch them now before they are vying with Dido for space on your mum’s coffee table. 8/10 Will Dean

GEEZERS OF NAZARETH Gold Rush

Bored?

Two blokes making predictable mainstream electronica? It's not the Pet Shop Boys, but it may as well be. The tune flows amiably with a sunny chorus, but it's nothing the Top 40 didn't get bored of years ago. A great band name wasted. 4/10 David Ford

THE BELLES Omenta Eat Sleep

This single opens sounding astonishingly like The Lighthouse Family, but after that initial huge faux pas, The Belles set to work regaining lost ground. This is no-frills twee indie music in the same vein as Elbow, and polished perfection loses any kind of edge it might have had. It gets a MOR score because that's what it is-totally middle of the road. 5/10 Reshma Patel

Singles 29 THE GOLDEN VIRGINS Renaissance Kid

XL Recordings Always on the verge of popular acclaim The Golden Virgins release this jaunty slice of indie emo pop.

Though not briliant it still beats listening to 80% of all other music. A small triumph they doth deserve. 6/10 The Blizzard Bandit

TV ON THE RADIO New Health Rock

4AD Basically what The Mars Volta should have sounded like, the first postDesperate Youths... single from NYs TV on the Radio, sees the quintet focussing their pop minded indie souls on the twin towers of groove and tune, and coming out with all guns blazing. Woah! 9/10 John Widdop

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS The Man Dont Give a Fuck

Sony/Epic Not just one for commodity-completists, this 22:27 minute live version meanders between poignant and pointless, from bouncy guitar riffs to chunky techno beats. Like all the best music, it defies generic definition, and is therefore utter genius. Not to everyone’s taste, but buy it just in case you’ve forgotten how good the Furries are. Which, if you have, shame on you. 10/10 Jimbo

SUM 41 We’re All To Blame Mercury

Utterly fantastic. Evidently the fruits of a session watching CNN on mute listening to Chop Suey!, hence the five thousand time signature changes, genuine metal moments, and hilariously lame political statements ("Supersize our tragedy", indeed).

We’re a long way from "In Too Deep", and it’s great to be here. 7/10 John Widdop

Twats

30

Live

It’s a Shambles Pete Doher ty brings his new band to Solus...

And it’s not pretty BABYSHAMBLES/THE PADDINGTONS/MARTINI HENRY RIFLES Solus -- Cardiff University 18 September 2004

I

f you went to the Babyshambles gig, I’m sure you would agree it was a bit of a strange one. Firstly, the Martini Henry Rifles delivered their set of fucked up electro-punk (think the musical love child of Aphex Twin and Siouxsie Sioux) to a crowd of confused looking Libertines fans, then pissed off to play their second gig of the night in Newport; who says rock stars are lazy?

Then on came a bunch of scabby urchins, called The Paddingtons. Led by their Oliver Twist look-a-like front man, they received as nice a welcome as Bernard Manning at the MillionMan March. Despite the initial boos and rain of lager they silenced the crowd the best way possible - by impressing them. Sounding like a sharper, more coherent Libertines, the doubters (including myself), were sufficiently silenced. Then a strange little man with a guitar came on and started playing. By this time it was already ten o’clock and I felt that our nation’s favorite crack-head had confirmed many people’s suspicions that he

wasn’t going to turn up.The fact that he failed to turn up to the bands’ sound check didn’t exactly fill me with a great sense of joy either. Again the crowd were fobbed off as Dot Alison came on and played an acoustic set.

Pete, I don’t care who you’re shagging mate, but we came here to see you play not your missus. Now I was starting to feel a bit disappointed.

After a few uncertain minutes, lo and behold he arrived! Looking sharp in his new suit and delighting fans who a second ago looked like they’d deserted him. Only a few people can mess their fans around and still get a hero’s welcome and Pete Doherty is definitely one of them.

The Babyshambles experience is a strange one to say the least.

Everyone is waiting for them to play Libertines songs, but they don’t. Well, only one, anyway. I know it’s meant to be a new band and everything, but come on: we all thought we were gonna get more Libs tunes. After playing for around half an hour, and teasing the crowd with Libertines references, Pete vanished just as soon as he came and left me feeling a little empty and a bit shafted. He looked like he didn’t want to be there, and twelve quid for an eight-song set is just shit. What a waster indeed.

Jon Davies

METAL HAMMER TOUR: THE HURT PROCESS Barfly Sunday 19th September

M

ore like the social club for despairing “I hate myself and I want to die” pre-pubescent teens than a show of any quality.

Dopamine and Beloved may be able to transfix 12 year olds by screaming inaudible expletives, but for the rest of us (by that I mean the five 18+ people), its simply shit.

Despite evidence suggesting some promise on debut Drive-by Monologue, The Hurt Process were sadly led astray, with even the raw passion of This Piece drowned out by appalling sound levels and, you guessed it, the high-low pitch screaming of a frontman struggling to win a audience.

Even for a Sunday, a waste of time.

Sam Coare

BRAKES/THE PIPETTES Saturday 25 September

Live

Barfly

The obvious aim of ten-piece (count ‘em!) the Pipettes is to bring a bit of glamour to indie-rock. Fusing fifties pop licks with minimalist synchronised hand and dance moves, they provide sharp, sweet reminders of why pop music rocks.

The very fact that the Pipettes are fronted by three girls in dolly-bird dresses and that they have such postfeminist song titles as Tie Me to the Kitchen Sink is only the beginning of their appeal. Even the boys on guitars at the back have initialled Happy Days cardigans. It’s like entering some beautiful time-warp.

The Pipettes girls join headliners Brakes on stage for a cover of the Jesus and Mary Chain’s Sometimes Always towards the end of the new four-piece super-group’s super-set.

Combining members of Electric Soft Parade, British Sea Power and The Tenderfoot might not always be advisable, but here it works brilliantly.

Staccato vocals from BSP’s Eamon are blisteringly disrupted by the guitar of Tom White. In their most ingenious and cultish move, Brakes play two songs in a row that are under 30 seconds long. Although all of the Brakes members’ respective oeuvres add up to a lot, Brakes definitely add up to more than the sum of their parts.

Rob Telford

31

The Pipettes: Three times the fun (Photo: Pav)

GISLI Monday 27 September Clwb Ifor Bach

If I were an Icelandic, Norwegian resident, rock star, then I’d be Gisli. The cherubic faced 26-year-old takes the stage to a half-full Clwb and proceeds to, as his T-shirts say, ‘chuck his pants’. Gisli takes us through a showcase of new album, TV=The Devil, Go Get ‘Em Tiger, the album’s title track, and splendid opener Worries highlight the singer’s superb capture of his unnative English tongue. The crowd warm up towards the end as technical problems are buttoned up and the odd novelty cover sneaks in, ranging from Beat It to I Wanna Dance with

T h e B r a ke s : C a n ’t last thir ty seconds, but can go twice in a row (ooh er).

Photo: Pav

Somebody, and from a snippet of Jolene, to a solo-bass Sigor Ros parody. It all amounts to a lot of fun, Gisli even dedicates his last song to a heckler at the front, the heckler loved him, I love him and you should too.

Will Dean

ATTACK AND DEFEND/THE RAKES/HOOKIEO 21 September 2004 Barfly

Charismatic schoolboy band Hookieo opened the evening with a set reminiscent of the Lostprophets. They had a good stage presence, the bassist oozed cool and they all projected a sense of enjoyment. Unfortunately, the bravado and ego on stage wasn’t backed up with quality songs. They showed great potential; given a bit of work on their song writing and on polishing the rough edges of their performance this band could go far.

Energetic and dynamic, The Rakes delivered an all round good performance. "Just got paid", their latest single, was the highlight of the set. The band lacked some originality; I had to look twice to check I wasn’t at a Joy Division gig. The band does however deserve its accolade of one of London’s up and coming bands.

Attack and Defend, for all the troubles they had on stage, equipment failure, delivered an enjoyable performance. Nothing exceptional but enjoyable nevertheless. Their electroindie style was possibly a bit too Britpoppy at times but worth the ticket price. The only disappointment in this gig was the lack of people who saw it.

The vast majority were friends of Hookieo who left after the band had finished their set.

Elgan Iorwerth

32

D i g i t a l

grdigital@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

Playstation? Oooh...

Simeon Rosser-Trokas discusses the rights and wrongs of the new PS2

W

hat is roughly the same size as a hardback book and weighs 900g? If you guessed "a hardback book" then you should be ashamed of yourself and cease and desist reading Digital immediately. The answer is of course the revised Playstation 2 that is due to hit British shores on November the 1st , at just a quarter of the volume and just half the weight of a regular PS2.

"What’s so special about that?" I hear you cry, and to an extent I can see your point - it is just a slimmed down PS2, a mere change to the aesthetic, not a brand new console to drool over. Yet, the change in size and styling is in fact just a very small part of the story. Sony’s new mini-marvel is a reflection of its almost total dominance of the games console market place. Playstation 2 doesn’t hold a monopoly, Xbox and Gamcube are just about hanging in there; but, their presence is almost insignificant; Xbox having roughly a fifth of the installed user base and Gamecube a mere tenth.

Playstation has done a lot for the industry, allowing gaming to free itself from being the pastime of kids, or the geeky and into the mainstream of entertainment culture, but at what cost?

The arrival of the revised Playstation 2 is further proof that when it comes to games, people buy Sony. Of course, there are the hardcore who shun its ubiquity, the fan-boys who’ll only play Nintendo, the PC gamer who laughs at the simplicity and lack of challenge of PS2 games, but are these people any better than the masses who swarm to buy Sony every time they release hardware? The answer in my opinion is no. By doggedly sticking to a format and their prejudices for the sake of it, they are part of the same problem in the equation. On the one side you have Sony and their Playstation 2 and on the other, fragmentation. Sony has earned its place at the top but, now they have become so entrenched that it is hard to see them ever being displaced or even being troubled by the competition.

This lofty position can only bring complacency. The dominance of one format has resulted in a market that prides quantity over quality, with truly innovative and entertaining games being sidelined by the tried & tested cash cows of the generic and the sequential.

You can’t blame Sony for this situation though; they are a business that follows the laws of supply and demand. So, who have we got to blame for the dumbing down of gaming entertainment? Microsoft and Nintendo for not bringing the fight?

Sure, they are partly to blame.

Microsoft wants to ape Sony’s success so; it uses its huge finances to largely copy Sony stylistically and tries to tempt away developers with even bigger budgets and promises of slightly faster hardware. Whilst Nintendo beaver away about 5 truly stunning games a year, but guard their assets so jealously that they produce

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Web Corner- for all your internet needs (well except the porn!) consoles of limited capabilities, preferring to inhabit a niche and reminisce about their glory days.

However, the real problem is us, the game-buying general public. We must stop taking the easy road, don’t buy a particular console because your mate has one; don’t buy a game because it’s incrementally better than its prequel. Choose something because it’s new, because you enjoy it, because a truly great game can be just as brilliant piece of escapism as a book or a film.We need to change what gamers demand, then they’ll change the games that are supplied. Only in this way can Playstation 2’s ubiquity be stopped…

But on the other hand: it’s small, it’s shiny, it will retail for £99.99 and probably come bundled with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

"oh sod it, I’m going to get one anyway!"

www.Tucows.com

F

ed up of all those annoying popups and spyware installing themselves on your PC? Looking for new software for your PDA? Wish you had a programs to do all those things Windows won’t? Tucows.com is the first and last place to look.

Providing commercial, freeware, shareware and demo versions of software to cater for all needs. From keeping your PC clock in time with the UK Atomic clock in Cambridge to new card games. Software for all formats (Windows, Mac, Linux, PalmOS, EPOC etc) and for any and every purpose.

The site has a great interface and search facility. Each program is rated and is easy to download. Google sponsored links are included.

Screenshots and links to the developers sites are provided. Perfect for those looking for a cheap and easy way to make their PC do anything and everything.

The site also has a great listing for other sites: I spent many hours playing free online games as listed on Tucows. Quite simply this site has everything for all those computer savvy people who want to optimise their PC. Free software, great applications, and fun games, Tucows the website with all you’ll ever need. Not just for Geeks!

Elgan Iorwerth

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F i l m

grfilms@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

With the recent passing of Marlon Brando, Craig Driver salutes the Godfather of film

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ack Nicholson, that ubiquitous Hollywood Hound-dog, once declared Marlon Brando to be "one of the great men of the 20th and 21st centuries, and we lesser mortals are obligated to cut through the shit and proclaim it." Never one to disagree with the Jack we here at Film deem it only just to give the late El Capitan of modern cinema the euphoric eulogy he so richly deserves.

In the current cinematic climate of pulp and trash, shining lights such as Brando are easily forgotten. With his recent death there disappeared the final trace of a golden age responsible for the beating heart of cinematic pathos, morality, and integrity. He died the death of a social recluse; bound to his fate by the whispers of a thousand expectations.

In 1951 Brando revolutionised the depleted post-war sexual dynamics of middle America. In Elia Kazan’s A Streetcar Named Desire there arrived a tempestuous, beautiful, and virile talent capable of menace and black comedy finely attuned with an almost parodistical masculinity. Brando’s Stanley Kowalski is the epicentre and emotional crux upon which the film’s morality twists and slowly turns.

Stanley is the definitive anti-hero: devilish and crude, witty and attractive, hero and villian. In an age of moral reservation and sexual temperance Brando split the wounded affinitive of suburban America and articulated the emergence of a new era of honesty and aggression.

Brando followed the film with his exceptional portrayal of the doomed but defiant Terry Malloy in On the Waterfront (1954) for which he won the first of two Best Actor Oscars.

Again directed by Kazan, Brando brought tragedy, humanity, and sensitivity to the role. Here stands a shattered every-man devoid of control; seemingly powerless in the world surrounding him. Beautiful, insolent, and seductive Brando infuses Terry with an intensity and nuanced reality too often sacrificed for a cheap quip or audience friendly cliché in modern cinema.

After 1954 Brando’s career path took a wayward path of inconsistency.

Plagued by personal troubles and misguided film choices admiration began to be displaced with concern. Brando’s triumphant return came in 1972 with Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather.

After a decade of dismal films Brando came to The Godfather a depleted relic. He left with a resurgence of credibility and a (famously declined) Best Actor Oscar. Full of verve and restraint, sensitivity and primal threat Brando as Corleone finally attuned his artistic sensibilities to a worthy commercial pursuit. The Godfather is America’s greatest tragedy and yet it’s most complete cinematic achievement: King Lear, Richard III, and Macbeth all fused together in one brave artistic statement.

Brando’s most harrowed moment of artistic exultation came in Coppola’s Vietnam masterpiece Apocalypse Now (1979). Brando plays Col. Kurtz, a war commander utterly consumed with the

insanity of war and its ultimate futility.

Brando’s improvised dialogue as Kurtz has been cited as no more than the pompous musing of an arrogant recluse. But the film is incomplete in its political dexterity without Brando heard on tape delivering the chilling line “I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor”. Empire’s Kim Newman put it best when he stated Brando had become "a sumo wrestler, a Cambodian idol, a bloated God on his deathbed." This was Brando’s last true and honest artistic portrayal. His definitive and final flourish of personal exuberance.

Brando throughout his life was a figurehead of artistic limit and cinematic ingenuity. He continuously questioned the ethics and responsibility of acting as a worthy profession.

Looking back at his life, one recognises the boundless promise of his youth and perhaps of our own, and the inevitable confusions and compromises life imposes upon us. Marlon Brando kept faith with incoherence and eccentricity. Whatever he did or did not do, no actor in his life and his work has kept us more consistently in touch with the erratic, unpredictable, and dangerous. In a lifetime of uncertain excellence Brando defined his era and his profession with a fervour and ability unsurpassed to this day.

Marlon Brando 1924 - 2004

Top 10 Film Poll

The Good

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ello to the masses. It is finally upon us. The landmark that is the 2004/2005 Top 10 Film Poll. “Oh no, not another purile student list!” You may squawk from your drunken stupour. This one is different so pay attention comrades.

Over the next 3 months we are asking you to vote for your top 3 films as well as your worst 3 films of all time.

We are going to scale the heights of cinematic splendour before delving

The Bad the depths of celluoid trash. You can mix your Godfather’s with your Father of the Bride’s; your Star Wars with your Space Jam’s. Whatever your visual tipple this poll can quench your cinematic lust.

All you need do is send us an email at Qtop10films@yahoo.co.uk and let us know your Top 3 films of all time and your Worst 3 films of all time. We will count all your votes and compile a truly stupendous poll for

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The Ugly the Christmas issue.

Did we mention that the final top 10 films will hopefully be shown at your local multiplex in the new year.

Get voting now as 5 lucky voters will receive a pair of free tickets to your local UGC cinema for a film of your choice. All votes will be entirely confidential so don’t be embarrased. Log on and grace us with your choice.

Vote now or die.

Qtop10films@yahoo.co.uk The DVDon

Reviews you can’t refuse STAR WARS TRILOGY rel. 20/09/04 At last, the three films that formed the soul and spirit of modern cinema are released on DVD. George Lucas’ cinematic standard comprises every fairytale and shakespeare tragedy all bundled together with a dash of sci-fi finesse. The world of Hans, Luke, and Leia has never been better.

The Don says: “Accept this justice as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day.”

SPACED: DEFINITIVE COLLECTORS’ EDITION rel. 27/09/04 Some comedy programmes are funny and some are absolutely joyous.

Spaced is the latter. As

a result, it is the greatest British comedic achievement of the last ten years. A mish-mash of all things culturally significant this two-series box set is above all the funniest thing ever to grace our existence. Buy now or become socially reduntant.

The Don says: “Tattaglia's a pimp.

He never could've out-fought Santino. But I didn't know until this day that it was Barzini all along.”

LA HAINE: 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION rel. 27/09/04 Directed by Mathieu Kassovitz, this french noir classic focuses on the fall-out of a Parisian riot as a group of friends are brutally abused in police custody. Like a brick to the brain this could effectively be the french prequel to City of God. Vincent Cassel burns testosterone by the skip-full as a young man on the edge of society fighting for his existence. Cool, classy, and sublimely gritty this film spits and curses with grace.

The Don says: “Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.”

DAWN OF THE DEAD rel. 27/09/04 This somewhat pithy homage to George Romero’s original zombie classic boasts some interesting additions. The only problem is that its more big and dumb than fun. Though who in the name of Nosferatu decided that it would be a good idea to make the zombies run?

The Don says: “Is this what you've become, some Hollywood finnochio that cries like a woman?”

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND rel. 04/10/04 The latest skewed narrative masterpeice from Charlie Kaufman provides Jim Carey (Joel) with his best performance since The Truman Show. Joel is stunned when he learns that his exgirlfriend Clementine (Kate Winslet) has had her memories of their failed relationship erased.

The Don says: “Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking.”

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F i l m

Mar tial Ar tistic HERO Dir: Zhang Yimou Cast: Jet Li, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, Zhang Ziyi

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hat cheerful little cherub Chairman Mao once declared that “political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.” Under such instruction China has often suffered from the power of the violent and the unjust. With the eventual release of Zhang Yimou’s masterful Washu epic Hero comes modern China’s resounding response to such historic tyranny.

At the turn of the first century China is split into seven warring states of which Qin is the most powerful. Focusing on Jet Li’s master swordsman Nameless the story unfolds piece by beautiful piece as Nameless regales the king of Qin with his claim to have slain the three deadly assassins Broken Sword, Flying Snow,and Sky, Hero could have lazily retraced the familiar steps of Ang Lee’s superb Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. While there are similar artistic flushes Yimou’s film encapsulates a more subtle and fragrant aesthetic. With each scene comes a rush of autumunal change as the colour palette

swiftly turns, reflecting and enhancing the tone of the narrative. Artistic sentiment and emotions swirl as characters twist and turn in combat. The visual backdrop of fading leaves and sweeping deserts soften and subvert the adrenaline charge of combat.

Action is infused with restraint; ferocity with beauty. Yimou infuses traditional martial arts violence with a thematic exploration of art, nature, and historical truth.

A whirlwind masterpiece of kinetic energy and balletic poise Li in the lead role is free to dispel the shackles of chop-suey hocuspocus and finally do justice to his skills after years of Hollywood indulgence. Maggie Cheung as Flying Snow is a sublime turn of the century Cruella De Ville flitting expertly between ice maiden and ferocious assassin. Tony Leung as Broken Sword is a masterclass in honour, while Zhang Ziyi as Moon continues to retain her crown as the stunning woman this side of reality.

Each audacious fight scene is expertly crafted around balletic dynamics that defy gravity as each singular movement reminds us of the importance of the second word in the phrase Martial Arts. No ounce of cinematic gluttony is allowed or tolerated.

All excess baggage and over-exposure is trimmed and discarded. While this may lead to an occasional lack of narrative structure Hero is nonetheless a whirlwind masterpiece of kinetic energy and balletic poise.

This is kaleidoscopic Kung Fu at its most extreme and purposeful. Yimou has crafted a film to challenge the harsh dictatorial perception of China throughout the West. A theme echoed in Yimou’s next project House of Flying Daggers out in December. The stifling hand of Mao’s communist China is ceded by the beauty and natural grace of the chinese landscape. Hero shows us that the one true aim of any warrior is to lay down his sword in the name of peace. In a current political climate devoid of restraint Yimou has forged a film that truly recognises contemplation as well as action.

Craig Driver

Smell my wealth, Bettany

WIMBLEDON Dir: Richard Loncraine Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Paul Bettany

I

am a tennis fan and, if truth be told, a bit of a Paul Bettany fan too.

After all, there’s nothing like a bit of naked Chaucer to get an English student going. Bettany, as Peter Colt, is the aging tennis pro in a Hugh Grant kind of way. In the final flourish of his career, Bettany is revitalized by an infusion of Kirsten Dunst’s female tennis star Lizzie Bradbury. Sparks fly as Bettany advances to the final whilst attempting to maintain his relationship with Dunst.

As for the tennis, aside from clever camera angles, the game is not given the starring role it deserves. Exciting points are played down, so that a fan feels cheated and a newbie wonders what all the fuss is about. We just have to take a scripted John McEnroe’s word for it.

Ultimately the film plays like a cotton-candy hybrid of all things foppish with a large helping of faux London chic. If you liked Four Weddings and Notting Hill then you will love this.

Hannah Perry

Thr ee Men and a little cakey

LAYER CAKE Dir: Matthew Vaughn Starring: Daniel Craig, Sienna Miller

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riginally this was going to be another Guy Richie cockney rambler until he decided he had better things to do and handed the project over to his right-hand man Matthew Vaughn. A wise choice as it turns out. This is much slicker than

Snatch and has the vibrant rush of a fast-paced thriller. Daniel Craig is superb as the cool, calm and collected gangster in the lead role and is backed up by a diverse and talented cast. The needless violence present in Lock, Stock is replaced by sharp necessary violence, required to move the story along. Based on the book by J.J Connolly, the plot progresses to a classic soundtrack with tunes by XTC, The Cult and Kylie. Overall it’s a smooth flowing look into the criminal underworld of london and the shadowy layered underbelly of gangster life.

Big Al

Sellars in insane smile mode

LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS Dir: Stephen Hopkins Starring: Geoffrey Rush, Charlize Theron

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eter Sellers finally gets a film worthy of his joyfully turbulent life. Spanning from his early years as a member of the goons right through to his Oscar nomination for the excellent Being There the film takes the guise of a vaudeville circus experience. Rush, in the lead role is exquisitely captivating capturing every physical nuance and childish tendency perfectly.

While the narrative at times does suffer, like the great man himself, from bouts of incoherence and sporadic jitters, it doesn’t stop the spirit and the genius of the man shining through. Charlize Theron as Britt Ekland and John Lithgow as Blake Edwards are especially brilliant supporting players to Rush’s tornado turn. Like all things Sellers the film revels in the limelight but crumbles at the edges when the pivotal moments arrive.

Ultimately, the film captures the terrible tragedy and hostile vulnerability of Sellers’ turbulent life. A film to be treasured for its purification of the beautiful monster that was, and will always be, Peter Sellers.

Cee Dee

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DEAD MAN’S SHOES Dir: Shane Meadows Starring: Paddy Considine, Tony Kebbel

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f you’re familiar with the previous work of Shane Meadows (24/7, A Room for Romeo Brass), you may be a little surprised by this. The story is about two brothers Richard and Anthony. Richard (played by Paddy Considine) is an ex soldier, who looks after Anthony (Tony Kebbel) as he has "learning difficulties".

The plot revolves around Richard’s mission to take revenge on a gang of drug dealers and general misfits, from their old town who, eight years ago, bullied and abused his brother.

And by God does he get his revenge.

Picking off the gang one by one, he does some crazy shit that would make Clint Eastwood squeamish.

As always Considine is fantastic in another performance that proves he's a national treasure.

An often shocking film that questions how far revenge can be taken before it becomes sadism the film shows a darker side to Meadows that, although touched upon in Romeo Brass, makes this film stand apart from his previous work.

Although this film will no doubt get cruelly ignored at the box office, do yourself a favour and watch it.

JD

ALSO OUT THIS WEEK...

SWITCHBLADE ROMANCE French pseudo-trash horror brimming with cliches and sexual disregard.

4/10 THE PUNISHER Marvel adaptation of classic revenge comic. Like all things toilet bound; crap.

4/10 AE FOND KISS Ken Loach’s inter-racial love story.

Sweet and soft and worth a watch.

7/10 INSIDE I’M DANCING Story of friendship in Irish care-home.

An honest and caring little treasure 7/10

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B o o k s

grbooks@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

This week Dan Ashcroft argues that Stephen King may not be as legendary as people assume

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certain sophistication with language; a wonderful approach to plot structure; and the ability to strike fear in the mind of the reader.

That’s what I thought at the age of thirteen.

Not many would question American multi-bestseller Stephen King but as time grows old so does the lack of innovation in King’s books, particularly apparent in a novel I recently embarked upon, The Talisman, in correspondence with its cinema release in 2005.

By the age of eighteen, King’s noticeable lack of sophisticated imagery and prose, coupled with his rigid sentence structure, make reading his works reminiscent to that of reading Great Expectations on a hot school summer afternoon.

It’s not that the themes and ideas that he portrays in his books aren’t original; it’s the way in which he expresses these ideas. A distinct lack of fluency and very basic vocabulary make for dull reading. Nobody would think as much if he were writing for a younger audience. However, with a predominantly adult fan base, the man who has received countless nominations for the infamous Bram Stoker Award, seems to dumb down what could potentially be scintillating literary brilliance.

THE GUARDIAN 2005 UNIVERSITY GUIDE

Edited by Jimmy Leach

Atlantic Books

When I opened this book I thought that I’d be bored to tears but I was wrong. This Guide has the perfect mixture of understandable facts and advice for prospective university students.Opening with the tale of how 60 Oxford students were killed in 1355 in riots over beer prices I was happy to know that priorities haven’t really changed in the last few centuries.

Along withthe league tables, the Guide is packed with fantastic advice.

This could be useful for Freshers who may want help on university’s social side. Not only is the advice accessible (no fuddy duddies here) but it also

Don’t get me wrong, King’s rise to brilliance is recognisable simply from the number of awards gained since 1980, particularly the National Book Foundation’s Medal for Distinguished Contribution to the literary world, however, the lack of raw edge in a world where innovation and originality is 90 percent of a bestseller, means that fresher authors, willing to adopt to different styles within thriller writing, are slowly surpassing him.

Not that I need to speak of King’s apparent scarcity in the literary world.

Since 2003 King’s attention has been turned to the screen where he has been assisting the release of a number of his novels; Bag of Bones and Riding the Bullet are just two of the titles in the pipeline. Some would say features articles from Guardian columnists on their university experiences.

The Guide tells it like it is but is not pessimistic. The fact that graduates earn on average £400,000 more than non-graduates in their lives is very reassuring in a time where the value of higher education is often questioned.

Perhaps the most valuable part of the Guide, however, is the facts. Every subject has a section which opens with an overview written by lecturers.

The league tables in the subject sections then rate each university’s performance so you may want to check out how well your subject is rated.

Best of all, there is then an entry on every university in Britain and Northen Ireland. Every entry includes vital facts such as graduate employment percentage, male to female ratio

reminiscent to a singer who resorts to acting as a fallback from a career downfall, King’s turn to the screen needs to be of substantial success if he is to once again turn headsin the tough shark pool of media frenzy.

King’s backtrack from writing critically acclaimed novels has coincided with fellow writer James Herbert’s sudden surge in popularity. In stark contrast to King, Herbert has grown in stature by each novel, becoming a titan among novelists, whereas many believe that King’s best works came as novelettes in the ‘70s.

With none of the rambling descriptive prose that King has almost trademarked, Herbert’s success comes fresh from riding the crest of a wave of literary brilliance, while King has been left trailing in a path of vicious white-water.

and, of course, the price of a pint. You will be pleased to know that Cardiff has an 84% graduate employment rate and a 47:53 male to female ratio. Even gair rhydd gets a mention!

Every university then has a report from one of its students who explains what life is like in the university. The Cardiff report describes it as the ‘total university experience’.

So whether you know someone who is applying to a university or want to see how Cardiff compares to other universities, this Guide is highly reccommended. It is particularly fantastic in that it tells you that a kebab in Cardiff costs 80p less than one in Newport. Now that has to be a good thing! Kerry-Lynne Doyle

Books interviews Cardiff University Professer David Boucher about two folk legends after the recent release of his compelling book Dylan and Cohen: Poets of Rock and Roll...

How important is the link between music and poetry?

I don’t necessarily think that there’s a distinct link. Popular music lyrics are often very banal when taken out of their context. I think what made Cohen and Dylan different us that their lyrics could stand as poetry alone. Their work stood out because it was articulate. They also made poetry popular. Poetry books were selling more successfully than ever when they were writing.

Did Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen popularise poetry?

Bob Dylan started off foremost as a singer but what distinguished him from other protest songwriters is that his work was poetic. He could articulate the unheard voices of his disenfranchised generation. Cohen was already a successful poet before he was a singer and a successful novelist so he came to singing with a poetic background.

His poetry books actually sold much better after he came to music.

Dylan has been nominated for the Nobel Prize for Literature. Why do you think classing his work as poetry has been controversial?

Dylan’s type of poetry tends to be a flow of consciousness. It is often uneven in contrast to the strong metaphorical images that it represents. However, lyric poetry is often sung. Certainly his later work has a less poetic output but Christopher Ricks analyses Dylan’s work all as poetic.

In the next issue...

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ext week Books will be launching the search for Cardiff University’s best loved and most hated books.

Each fortnight we want YOU to write in with 250-300 words on why you love or hate a book so much. We don’t care whether it’s a children’s book, the book you were forced to

Books

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How long do you think Dylan and Choen’s legends will last?

Well, it will significantly outlive them.

Dylan is in his 60s and Cohen will be 70 in September.

Can you recommend any good starting points for anyone new to Dylan and Cohen?

Dylan’s mid 1960s albums such as Highway 61 Revisited, Bringing it All Back Home and Blonde on Blonde.

Cohen’s music has often been called music to slash your wrists to but his later work has a more elevated feel to it such as I’m Your Man and The Future. Cohen also has a new album coming out in October to coincide with his 70th birthday.

Do you believe we have modern equivalents of Dylan and Cohen?

We have people who are compared to them but no one of their quality.

Nick Cave and Van Morrison have often been compared to them. Some of U2’s lyrics can also tend alone.

Connor Oberst’s solo work and his band The Bright Eyes also have similarities to them.

Researching the book took you to many places. What was that experience like?

In New York it was the first time I had been to Greenwich Village, one of Dylan and Cohen’s haunts. I also visited the Chelsea Hotel which was a Bohemian meeting place mentioned in the songs of both singers.

It is also famous because Dee Dee Ramone died there. It is where Sid

Vicious killed Nancy Spungen, where Arthur Miller wrote the Crucible and it is where Dylan Thomas fell ill and spent his last days. I also visited the Rock and Roll hall of fame in Chicago, the Experience Music Project in Seattle and LA to meet with Cohen’s manager. I also got to see some of Cohen’s papers in Toronto and Dylan’s in Liverpool.

Who are your literary influences?

My work is quite wide ranging but in terms of my actual writing style it would be R.G.Collingwood and Michael Oakeshott. My influences are more philosophical than literary.

What are your tips for budding authors?

I don’t really have any. My type of research is different to writing a poem and a work of literature; it is more analytical. I just want to take a more sophisticated view of how to compare the works of Dylan and Cohen.

Kerry-Lynne Doyle

study at school or whether it’s an epic novel. We just want your views.

If you’d prefer not to write an article then you can send us your nominations. You can email them to grbooks@cf.ac.uk or you can drop them up to the gair rhydd office on the fourth floor of the Union. In the last issue we will reveal the uni’s best loved and most hated books.So what are you waiting for?

Get your nomintions in and the search will begin!

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A r t s

grarts@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

The opening of The Gate...

Freshly oiled to wet your creative appetites, The Gate swings open for Cardiff’s community Classes at The Gate

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s from September 11, yet another gateway to the arty world has sprung from Cardiff’s cultural grounds. Situated in Plasnewydd Square just off of Roath’s City Road and in the centre of Student’s ville, I could not resist a visit.

Previously a Presbyterian church, this building is absolutely stunning and thanks to architect Rob Cruwys, the interior is no exception. Cruwys has retained the original church features and has blended them with the modern midas touch to upgrade this fantastic building. The Centre houses a Theatre, Dance Studio, Exhibition Galleries, Training Studios and a Café – bar – restaurant. The whole place is soaked in that new refreshing smell and looks absolutely plush and the café is no exception. Serving posh nosh at reasonable prices, one can attend the theatre/gallery and then do lunch darling. Just for the day one may forget that one is une scavvy student!

Funded by the Heritage Lottery Fund, the National Assembly of Wales, and its trustees, The Gate claims to be “a centre for expression and training in the arts.” The centre truly does seem to be dedicated to training people in the realm of the arts. The Gate offers a range of access level, ten week courses for reasonable prices, (which is always a good thing.)

Classes range from acting, drawing, singing, writing, pilates, music theory, orchestra, African drumming, Indian classical dance, flamenco dancing, jazz, salsa and breakdance. You name it, The Gate’s got it. The Gate term starts on October 4, so hurry up and get your skates on!

At present the gallery hosts an exhibition of nine very talented Welsh painters and is entitled Spirit of Wales. Each painter appears to have a very unique style and interesting ideas to stimulate their work. After November 13, the exhibition is set to

change, so it is definitely worth getting off your lazy student arse and making a visit before then!

When I looked around the centre, there was a theatre rehearsal going on (a hundred school kids practising for Raven King – a re-working of The Tempest.) However, being my nosy little self I could not resist having a peak at the theatre. As the door creaked open, everyone looked at me – doh! Anyway, the theatre was quite large and looks set to host some wicked performances. By the time this Quench has reached your hands, Raven King will be a thing of the distant past. However, don’t despair it probably would have been packed out with two hundred sickly smug, smiling proud parents. Also, Extravagance! is coming to The Gate on November 12.

Performed by semi – professionals and directed by the teacher of the acting workshop, this should be a complete success.

All in all, The Gate is a fantastic gem to add to Cardiff’s cultural trove.

Watch out for future exhibitions and performances at the centre, or miss out!

Debbie Green

The Gate is easy to find, situated just off City Road (Roath) in Plasnewydd Street.

Act for Fun - 7 - 8pm Wednesdays Indian Classical Dance - 7.30 - 9pm Mondays.

Flamenco Dancing - 12.30 - 1.30pm Tuesdays.

Streetdance / Breakdance - 5.45 6.45pm Wednesdays.

Salsa - 7.30 - 8.30pm Thursdays.

Pilates Based Body Conditioning 12.30 - 1.10pm Mondays.

Funky Jazz Dancing - 6 - 7pm Thursday.

African Drumming - 6 - 7.30pm Fridays.

Sing for Fun - 7 - 8pm Mondays.

Write for Fun - 7.30 - 8.30pm Tuesdays.

Art for Fun - 7 - 9pm Mondays.

The Gate Community Chorus 10.30am - 12pm Saturdays (Whilst this is open to all, it is recommended that absolute beginners attend Sing for Fun before joining).

A r t s

grarts@cf.ac.uk

This fortnight, Hannah Perry and Laura Quinn explore the cultural diversity in two of Cardiff’s oldest arty venues.....

PAUL ROBESON KNEW MY FATHER The Sherman Theatre

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his play is an imaginative look at Gethyn’s childhood. He tries to form a link with the father he never knew through the music of a man his dad sung with. The character of Gethyn is a particularly challenging one as it means being both a child and an adult. This, and indeed all of the characters, were very well acted and a pleasure to watch.

The company also made innovative use of the technical possibilities.

Parts of the Paul Robeson film Proud Valley were projected onto a screen to punctuate the action on stage. At one point they even used a recording of a phone call.

All four members of the cast have great singing voices which they used to full effect. In using vocal harmony they managed to create beautiful music without seeming like an imitation of a West End musical.

I should also mention the Sherman

PROSPECTS OF WALES, Clive Hicks Martin Tinney Gallery

M

ix a moody sky, a colourful building ,and hard working labourers with a surreal depiction of a demon, and you have just cooked yourself up an exhibiton of Clive Hicks.

Born in 1951 in Newport, this all round Welsh painter has been described as one of the most ‘inspiring and masterly’ painters in wales of this time.

The Prospects of Wales exhibition was a homage to Kenneth Rowntree’s book The Prospects of Wales based around the Welsh landscape at the end of World War Two. In Hicks’s own words, ‘these paintings are an expression of how I feel about the buildings and coutryside of

Theatre itself. If you haven’t been there before then do visit. It is a small intimate space and the venue is hosting some really great shows this season.

There is also a lovely restaurant which serves food and drink all day.

Hannah Perry

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41

WHAT’S ON THIS FORTNIGHT....

The Welsh Landscape at Martin Tinney Gallery.

Representing more than twenty Welsh artists with all paintings for sale until the 23rd October.

Kevin “Bloody” Wilson at St David’s Hall.

An Australian comedian with a wicked adult humour. Apparently laughing makes you burn calories so how about a trip to the thetare rather than a jog round Bute Park? I know which I’d choose!

Dancers @ffotogallery, Penarth.

Make sure you catch this collection of photographs depicting ballroom dancing before it ends on 10th October.

Jus’ Like That at the New Theatre.

Honouring the life of the Welsh comic Tommy Cooper. Running from 12th to the 16th October.

Backsatge with Paul Robeson in his hey day....

Circus of the Streets at Sophia Gardens.

Wales.’From walking around the exhibition the general feeling is of gloom.

However, the bold use of colour and extreme surreal depictions gives the impression of an un-realistic dreamlike world. This is perhaps the aim of Hicks, as he states his paintings are supposed to be ‘a sort of dreamscape’.

Laura Quinn

A contempory circus including breakdancers, BMX stunts and skaters.

Shooting Shakespeare at The Sherman Theatre.

Showing on the 13th and 14th October this comedy murder mystery may tickle your funny bone.

Jacuzzi Junta at Chapter. Arts Centre.

A multimedia art event on 15th October. Every contributor gets 15 minutes to sturt their arty stuff.

Evoking Rasa at Reardon Smith Theatre, National Museum of Wales, Cardiff.

An Indian dance group combine Indian Mythology, music and storytelling to bring to life Hindu god Shiva.

Going Out

grmagazine@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

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I

t might only be the beginning of term, but it’s never too early to show a bit of ambition and search out some of Cardiff’s bestkept secrets. Or are they? Have I been deluding myself? Does everyone already know? And there was me feeling like a pioneer ...

KISMET City Road If it’s possible to get genuinely emotional over an Indian restaurant then I may be guilty of the charge. If you love a decent curry and love a bargain even more, then you will be tempted to eat here far more than is healthy.

The bald facts are these – you can get any starter, main course, rice and naan for five pounds, every day, always. It seems barely plausible, doesn’t it? And it’s actually good stuff, especially the Kebab-e-Kismet, prawn puree and tandoori mixed grill.

The vibe here isn’t exactly a departure from the norm – naff paintings of tigers, bhangra music, glimpses of debatable culinary practices through the open kitchen door, and if slightly shabby, disorganised service cracks you up rather than annoys you, you’ll most likely have a few laughs here as well. If you’re lucky you can also enjoy an encounter with the hugely friendly senior waiter known to me and mine as Beardy Man (yes, you guessed it clever people, he does indeed have an amusing comedy beard).

A word of warning must be sounded, however, regarding the daytime buffet. I’ve never risked trying it myself but reports are that it makes up the bulk of what Saddam Hussein was hiding from the UN weapons inspectors. Deployable at 45 minutes notice, it appears to consist of leftovers, bones and grit in over-spiced lukewarm puddle water.

That aside, and the fact that it’s not exactly classy, the Kismet is truly legendary, if only for its sheer value for money. Go on, live the dream; just try not to get this teary-eyed about it.

Dave Adams

Photo: Maria Cox

A SHOT IN THE DARK

THE PEN & WIG

City Road

Park Grove

A Shot In The Dark is a plush, oversized easychair of a coffee house comfortable in its relaxed and refined environment. The staff and typical clientele are very much alike: young, friendly, and cosmopolitan. Original art and photography adorn the walls; tantalising desserts reside behind a glass-fronted counter; the aroma of fairtrade, organic coffee fills the air.

Having ordered a damn good regular coffee and, from the extensive tapas menu, some exquisite ‘ricotta and pinenut parcels’ and a generous portion of toasted bread (all of which totalled exactly £5), I sank into one of the deep and inviting leather sofas and set about putting my finger on exactly what makes the place so uncommonly agreeable.

Although not the only elegant, relaxed and intimate coffee house in the area, A Shot In The Dark has that something extra. The place appears to have not a hint of ambition; the kind of place unwilling to compromise on quality of service for the sake of quantity of custom. Being open until 11pm and licensed to serve alcohol (they stock a selection of wines and bottled beers) makes A Shot In The Dark a welcome alternative to a night at the pub.

Sadly, Britain is unlikely ever to acquire the vibrant café culture to be found throughout much of the rest of Europe but if by some golden happenstance it does, it will be because people have wised up to places like this.

Jim Sefton

Tucked away on a quiet street in the slim no-man’s land between Cathays and the city centre, this is a pub you’ll definitely be better off for knowing about. As its name suggests, there’s a pervasive bookish, legal feel, from the amount of solicitors and secretaries you find in here, to the Latin mottos that decorate the walls.

One advantage The Pen & Wig has over many other places around here is that it really is a pub for all seasons. A little late in the year for it now, but it has a quiet beer garden in which to chill in the sun; perfect for escaping revision stress Of an evening the place has a bustling, chatty atmosphere; a rather quaint touch are the board games you can borrow to play at your table. Nothing too loud or flash happens here, but it seems like no-one would want it to.

My favourite time to come here, however, is late on one of those cold winter afternoons: you’re on your way back from town, freezing, with aching feet – you want a haven. Sink into a sofa or hole up in a corner, get a drink and a newspaper, and give yourself some breathing space. This place allows you these sorts of simple pleasures – a more rustic, traditionally British alternative to A Shot in the Dark, if you like.

If your imagination extends no further than the chain bars of the city centre, maybe it’s about time you branched out a bit; and this is a good place to start.

Dave Adams

C u l t C l a s s i c s

grclassics@cf.ac.uk

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43

In the unlikely event that you run out of things to do in freshers’ week try a trip down memory lane with some of our Cult Classics.

THE PIXIES

Surfer Rosa 4AD (1988)

Although rooted in the 80s, The Pixies have reaped far more of their rewards and praise in recent years – most notably since the success of Nirvana – than at the time of their best albums. Their reform this year has further sparked delayed interest.

Their most influential album, Surfer Rosa, can best be described as raw and untampered. It uses stark, snarly guitars, often sounding like sheer improvisation, elsewhere being tightly played remaining dissonant yet tuneful. Their innovative guitar-style is then lauded by intelligent lyrics, sung by the sometimes twisted and distorted vocals of Black Francis and Kim Deal which create an urgent, creaky, frantic tone, often descending into basic primal scream.

The influences on The Pixies themselves seem to be drawn from the fragilities of the human body along with various Spanish insertions. The effect equals a solid mix of experimentation with genuinely good songwriting giving us a ride through their musical expression.

Produced by nihilistic rock godfather Steve Albini, who gave the album its sharp edge, it still sounds as fresh and creative. The Pixies, and this album in particular, are frequently named by huge bands as being a major influence.

Surfer Rosa managed to discreetly and, at first, unnoticed, change the face of rock music, by sending out ripples which created tidal waves.

LABYRINTH

BIRDSONG

Dir: Jim Henson (1986)

Sebastian Faulks (1993)

Starring: David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly

Labyrinth - one of those childhood films that always kind of scared you, yet you watched it anyway. To find it scary is, of course, understandable. It does have creepy red fieries wishing to decapitate the heroine and David Bowie, who has not only the most frightening hairdo ever committed to celluloid, but also the most stareinducing cod piece which becomes even more terrifying when he finds cause to jiggle it in the face of a midget.

But, with its flamboyant costumes, catchy songs and fantasy vision this film could not fail to become a cult classic. Admittedly the dialogue is a tad ropey at times and the special effects have dated somewhat; back in the 80s it seemed that in order to create a surreal-looking fantasy set you have to throw glitter on everything. But I like it anyway.

The film was directed by Jim ‘The Muppets’ Henson who was clearly embellishing his major love for puppets and excessive make-up, yet he managed to come up with some still pretty impressive stuff. The screen adaptation of MC Escher’s mind-bending artwork has never been bettered and the choice of a then unknown girl who later became an Oscar-winning actress can’t be criticised. The guy clearly had an imagination the rest of us could only wish for.

Labyrinth has a its place in movie history as an escapist fantasy and is always one to watch when the idea of real life is just far too unappealing.

Vintage

Birdsong is a novel that captures both the horrors of war and the nature of love. Although it is a novel about love and war it is by no means a cliché.

Set in three different time frames, the narrative concentrates on the affair between Stephen Wraysford and his married lover Isabelle Azaire. Their affair has explosive consequences that are mapped out across the novel.

Beginning in 1910, the narrative surrounds the blossoming relationship between Stephen and Isabelle. As their love grows, Isabelle’s decision on whether she will leave her husband for Stephen changes both their lives forever. The narrative then shifts to 1916 when Stephen finds himself in the trenches during World War One. The relationships that emerge in the trenches and the psychological effect of war are again astoundingly realistic, capturing the absurdity of the situation with poignancy. The changing relationships between the soldiers and their loved ones at home become a definite focus of the novel along with the damaging repercussions of shell shock.

Birdsong is a stunning novel that probes human nature through the narrative of love and war. It is wonderfully written, capturing the heartache of love and how war can ravage humanity. It is touching, realistic and simply a novel to be cherished and remembered.

Kerry-Lynne Doyle

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F o o d

grfood@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

Food shop till you drop Laura Murphy gives you the low-down on food shopping in Cardiff and Laura Tovey brings you the inside information on where to get authentic ingredients for that sake and biltong.

Photographs by Maria Cox

C

hances are that you have been existing on takeaways, Strongbow and the delights of chippy lane since arriving in our fair city. Carry on like this past Freshers’ week and you will find yourself short of cash and in generally rather sluggish and unhealthy.

At the risk of sounding like your mother, Quench guides you through what Cardiff has to offer in the way of food, from the mainstream to the exotic tastes of the far east.

Sainsburys, Queen Street Located at the end of Queen Street, Sainsburys doesn’t have a wide range of products and is mainly aimed at people picking up a few luxury items on their way home from work. However, like most supermarkets the secret to shopping here on the cheap is all about timing. You will be able to pick up daily products, especially fresh produce and baked goods, at a fraction of their usual price if you time your visit to about two hours before the store closes.

particularly nasty form of food poisoning.

Tesco Extra also stock some Kosher food with a kosher van delivering meat and produce once a week.

Contact the Jewish Society, J-Soc, for more information.

Lidl, Woodville Road Lidl’s latest Cardiff store has proved to be a favourite for those looking for a bargain. Although you are unlikely to find any branded goods that you recognise, Lidl is second to none for frozen goods, especially frozen meats. It’s also a great place to stock up on cheap beer. Look out for large signs outside telling you what the latest offers are.

Cardiff Central Market (fresh produce) In the town centre, this indoor market is open Monday to Saturday, as it has been since 1891. Amongst an eclectic mix of stalls, the market is an excellent place to go for fresh vegetables, meats and fish. One side of the bottom floor is completely taken up by butcher’s counters, so whatever cut of meat you are looking for you will find it at a fraction of the price that you would usually pay at a supermarket. Ashton’s Fishmongers is also a fabulous place to pick up fresh, top-quality seafood.

Tesco, Western Avenue and Albany Road (Kosher) A student mecca for food shopping slap bang next to Talybont, Tesco Extra is one of the largest supermarkets in Cardiff. Tesco value food is surprisingly good. No wonder it’s so popular at just 19p for a bag of pasta quills and 52p for a box of value eggs. Early evening is often the best time to catch reductions, but be cautious. Although that bashed tin of baked beans looks good value, any damage to the outer packaging can indicate botulism, a FRESH: A stall holder dishing up at the Riverside Real Fo o d M a rke t

Food

S I N C E 1 8 9 1 : C a r d i f f M a r ke t

O R G A N I C : R i v e r s i d e M a r ke t

NEW YORK DELI (American) Whether you are missing the good ol’ US of A or just like the food, this is the place you can come to get a taste of America. A cafe as well as a deli, it’s ideal to pop in for a hoagie when you’re out shopping in town.

For the truly hungry, the White House special comes particularly recommended. The Native American wisdom pinned up offers you a little food for thought while you get your mouth around the grub.

Address 20, High Street Arcade, Cardiff, CF10 1BE Tel 029 2038 8388 Fax 029 2038 8808 Opening Hours Mon- Sat, 9am-5pm

Address 123 Richard Street, Cardiff, CF24 4DD Tel 029 2037 3077 Opening hours Mon-Sat 9am5.30pm

CHINA SUPERMARKET (Chinese) Tesco has a pretty good range of Far Eastern foods but for the real thing you’ll have to make the journey to the mini China Town in Riverside.

China Supermarket is one of the largest of the oriental stores there, with a good range of food from noodles and spices to fresh produce, as well as the cooking utensils you’ll need to fry up a feast.

Address 32-34 Tudor Street, Riverside, Cardiff, CF11 6AH Tel 029 2037 7599 Opening Hours Mon-Sat, 9.30am5.30pm FORUM (Continental) It’s not cheap but it’s good. This is a place where they have a love of food that shows in the range of continental delicacies. Italian bread, Greek pastries – for those times when a loaf of sliced white just doesn’t cut it, you can take comfort here. Top off that sandwich with a little German salami or French cheese. Look closely and you’ll discover that the whole of Europe is stashed on the shelves, Scandinavia included.

ZEM ZEM CONTINENTAL MARKET (Halal and Middle Eastern) There are several Halal stores in Cathays and Roath, but as well as the convenient location, this one has a meat counter at the back for fresh Halal meat. There’s also a pretty big selection of Arabic, Asian, African and some Mediterranean foods. The big range of spices, snacks, fresh herbs and vegetables make this place worth checking out.

Address 12-14 Wyverne Road, Cathays, CF24 4BH Tel 029 2066 4594 Opening Hours Mon-Sat 10am-8pm, Sun 10.30am-8pm CARDIFF FOODS (Japanese and Korean) It sounds Welsh, but in fact this shop is packed full of Japanese and Korean specialties, including sauces, seasonings, frozen meat and a selection of seasonal fresh foods. They also offer Japanese style packed lunches if you just can’t face another cafeteria sandwich.

Conveniently located in studentville, this is the place to come for sushi and udon noodles alike.

Address 116 Woodville Road, Cathays, Cardiff CF24 4EE Tel 029 2022 3225 Fax 029 2023 6808 Opening Hours Tues-Sat, 9am-5pm WALLY’S DELICATESSEN (anything from anywhere) Tucked away in the maze of arcades that run across central Cardiff, Wally’s deli offers a taste of food from pretty much anywhere.

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ANYTHING: Wally’s Delicatessen Open for nearly fifty years, this place started out specializing in Polish and Hungarian charcuterie and European style-bread but has expanded it’s range include produce from Mediterranean countries as well as an ethnic range that encompasses Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Thai, Caribbean and South African produce. As well as selling many products that you can find in supermarkets in Britain at an extremely reasonable price, you will also find a huge range of herbs and spices, grazing nosh and snacks that won’t break the bank.

Address: 42-44 Royal Arcade, Cardiff, CF10 2AE Tel: 029 2022-9265 Online ordering: http://www.displaysites.com/wallysdeli/index.html Opening Hours: Mon- Sat, 9am5.30pm RIVERSIDE REAL FOOD MARKET (Welsh) When you have chosen to study in Wales, trying some of the local specialities is a must.

The Riverside Real Food Market is an initiative to help local producers sell fresh, quality Welsh and organic goods and has been running every Sunday for the last 6 years. there is also a range of Middle Eastern and Indian food on sale from local stallholders. As well as organic fruit, veg and meat, you can pick up handmade jams, chutneys, pickles and cheeses, fair trade products, all manner of vegetarian foods and even buffalo milk ice-cream.

There is also a wide range of Middle Eastern and Indian food available.

Address Fitzammon Embankment, Riverside, CF11 6AN Tel 029 2022 7982 Opening hours Sundays, 10am-2pm

46 B l i n d

D a t e

grblinddate@cf.ac.uk

Quench 04 10 04

We want you!

Desperatey seeking someone.

Lonesome blind date editor wishes to enrich the lives of others by offering free food, drink and the potential of meeting their soul mate. All she asks is for you to contact her with your name, age, and sexual preference - “coz she’s a bit of a nosy bitch!” - and help brighten up her dreary existence. Trust me, she needs it!

Don’t delay, phone today... phone or text on 07746503742 or GRBlinddate@cf.ac.uk “The last time I was in a woman I was visiting the Statue of Liberty”- Woody Allen

Warning: Excessive use of puns can seriously damage your health.

See...even the rich and famous have trouble between the sheets!

And finally, do remember, being bisexual doubles your chances. You greedy so-and-so.

gair CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY

gair rhydd and Quench magazine are always looking for writers, proofreaders, columnists, photographers, designers, sub-editors and news hounds. If you think you’ve got what it takes to get involved with one of Britain’s leading student publications, if you fancy having crack at something new, if you’re passionate about certain issues or you just simply want to get involved for the fun of it, we’d love to hear from you.

Either drop us a line at ssugr1@cf.ac.uk or come up a visit us on the fourth floor of the union.

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