Liberating questions Questions are often more helpful than answers. No matter whether you are coaching someone or taking stock of your own situation, questions can help. Truly liberating questions are neutral: the wording gives no hint of what you might like the answer to be, and contains no implied criticism. Here are some classic candidates for Deep Listening. If not me, then who? If not now, then when? What am I feeling, at this instant? What do I know, in my heart? Listening to myself Interestingly, all three of the classics are questions ‘to myself’. Generic examples usually need reformulating to meet your own situation: working on the question until it is truly neutral can in itself be an amazingly liberating experience, as you shed layers of values and beliefs about what ‘should be’. Regular silent reflection is as useful as regular exercise is for the body. It may not be an onerous undertaking: there is no need to become a hermit and sit all day in cross-legged meditation to make any progress. Often a few minutes is enough. But indeed, to experience the power of selfquestioning we need to make space. Some praxis questions that can be asked at any time – even by setting a clock: When I do this (what I am doing at this moment), what is it I am really doing? Why do I choose to do it? How do I feel about doing it?
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