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Coping with Grief Over the Holidays
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Christmas carols will soon be playing in the stores, holiday decorations will be out and ads touting the latest “must have gifts” will be everywhere. The annual commercial blitz is already starting and will soon be in full swing.
For many, material expressions of the upcoming holidays can act as a cue to get into the spirit. However, for those who are grieving the death of a loved one, the commercial frenzy, family traditions and overwhelming to do list often associated with the holidays can make the season an exceptionally difficult time.
Karen Hatfield, Director of Western Reserve Grief Services at Hospice of the Western Reserve, offers the following tips to help cope with grief over the holidays:
Shopping and baking. Allow someone else to do the shopping and baking this year or have a friend share in these activities with you. Give gift cards or shop online to eliminate the pressure of “finding the perfect gift.”
Find grounding and support in your faith-based
community. If you are a person of faith, turn to members of the clergy and the supportive community in your place of worship for resources and support on your grief journey. Surround yourself with those who are supportive and understanding of your grief.
Avoid people who will place expectations on your feelings and your grief.
Separate the wants from the shoulds. Be kind to yourself. Separate how you would like to observe the holiday season from how others feel it should be celebrated.
Plan ahead. Decide now how you would like to spend the holidays to reduce anxiety. Where would you like to spend the holidays? Who will host the holiday dinner? Are there any changes you need to make this year to
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enable you to better cope with the loss of your loved one?
Lower expectations. Lower your expectations about actively participating in the holiday season. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Give yourself permission to forgo some of the usual holiday activities, or to make changes to observe traditions in a more low-key way. It’s okay to leave social events early. Consider taking a brisk walk to refresh your body and spirit or spending quiet time at home with a good book and a cup of tea. Follow your heart when determining what feels right for you when you are grieving.
Start a new tradition to honor your loved one.
Volunteer, or donate to a cause your special person believed in. Create a holiday wreath, a scrapbook, a piece of art or a poem in their memory. Visit the cemetery, share stories about your loved one and reminisce about past holiday celebrations. Write to your loved one in a journal every day or begin planning a memory garden you can plant in the spring.
Consider grief support groups. Western Reserve Grief Services offers a variety of virtual grief support groups where you can connect on the web with others who have experienced a loss in a safe, supportive nonjudgmental setting. For many, participation provides hope and healing on their grief journey.
Western Reserve Grief Services, the bereavement center at Hospice of the Western Reserve, supports anyone in the community who has experienced a loss due to death. We’re here to help. For more information about resources, visit hospicewr. org/griefandloss, call 216.486.6838 or email thebereavementcenter@hospicewr.org.
