Discipleship Culture Guidebook – Full by Garden City Church

MISSION

Garden City Discipleship C u lt u r e

Depending on God to grow disciples deep & wide for God’s glory A guidebook for how we make, mature, and multiply disciples of Jesus

Garden City Discipleship C u lt u r e

Version 1.1 Copyright © 2020 Justin Buzzard Design by Jason Jones All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. www. gardencitysv.com All Scripture quotations come from English Standard Version (ESV).

A GUIDEBOOK FOR HOW WE MAKE, MATURE, AND MULTIPLY DISCIPLES OF JESUS Silicon Valley is both an amazing and exhausting place to live. Garden City exists to give Life—to be a counterculture to the pressure, loneliness, and consumerism of this place. Whatever your story or situation, we invite you to discover Life in our family. But be warned: participating in what God is doing here will change you. People don’t stay the same here. Sparks fly when the real you encounters the real God among real people. We’re flawed humans finding good news to believe, a band of brothers and sisters to belong to, and a mission to live. Whether you join the Garden City mission for 3 years or 30 years, we aim for the living God to plant three ways of life in your heart that mark healthy disciples of Jesus: Receive Life, Grow Life, Give Life. You have an important role to play in this church and city, and we’re excited to be on this journey with you.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10

“A person has to be thoroughly disgusted with the way things are to find the motivation to set out on the Christian way. As long as we think the next election might eliminate crime and establish justice or another scientific breakthrough might save the environment or another pay raise might push us over the edge of anxiety into a life of tranquility, we are not likely to risk the arduous uncertainties of the life of faith. A person has to get fed up with the ways of the world before he, before she, acquires an appetite for the world of grace.”

Eugene Peterson 1

TA B L E O F CONTENTS P R E FAC E

I N T R O D U C T I O N On Discipleship

PA R T 1

Receive Life

PA R T 2

Grow Life

PA R T 3

Give Life

HABIT 1

S E L E C T I O N . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 2

L I S T E N , P R AY, O B E Y . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 3

S TO RY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 4

E N J OY A G R AC E - B A S E D I D E N T I T Y . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 5

B E T H E C H U R C H — G AT H E R & S C AT T E R. . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 6

L O V E G O D W I T H A L L YO U R H E A R T. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 7

L O V E YO U R N E I G H B O R A S YO U R S E L F. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 8

D E S I R E & F I G H T . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 9

L E A D — W O R K & R E S T. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 10

G I V E T H A N K S , B E J OY F U L , G I V E G L O R Y . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 11

E N C O U R A G E . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

HABIT 12

M U LT I P LY — S E E K T H E W E L FA R E O F T H E C I T Y . . . . . . . .

APPENDIX 1

Tools and Suggestions

108

APPENDIX 2

A Mature vs. An Immature Person

110

APPENDIX 3

The Orphan vs. Child of God Checklist

112

APPENDIX 4

Storytelling—How to Retell Other People’s Stories with the Big Story

113

INTRODUCTION WHY DO WE CARE ABOUT MAKING DISCIPLES? Because life and death, heaven and hell, and the good of our city is at stake. Jesus gave the church one mission: to make disciples (Matt. 28:18-20). We exist to enjoy and spread the abundant Life of Jesus through making, maturing, and multiplying disciples. We’re on a dangerous mission to plunder hell and populate heaven and our city with Life-giving disciples. Discipleship begins when we respond to Jesus’ call, “Follow me,” and we believe this is the greatest purpose, mission, and adventure that

M E M O R I Z E (throughout this guidebook you’ll encounter Bible verses that are central to our Discipleship Culture that we encourage you to commit to memory)

humans can pursue.

Alan Hirsch 4

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”- Matthew 28:18-20

“The church should be one of the most adventurous places on earth.”

WHAT IS DISCIPLESHIP? Saint Paul defined discipleship as “sharing the gospel and our lives” with persons we feel affectionate desire for (1 Thess. 2:8). Discipleship is relational. Discipleship is transferring truth and love through relationship—forming intentional, adventurous friendships that make, mature, and multiply disciples of Jesus. Discipleship is an adventure that addresses both what people understand and how they live, content and conduct, one’s talk and one’s walk.

MEMORIZE

So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our lives, because you had become very dear to us. - 1 Thessalonians 2:8

WHAT IS A DISCIPLE? Disciple translates the Greek word “mathetes,” which means “follower, learner, apprentice.” Disciples are pilgrims who, like Abraham, spend their lives going someplace—traveling towards God and his call. A disciple is a follower growing in relationship with Jesus and helping others grow in relationship with Jesus. Disciples join together to follow Jesus and fish for Jesus (Matt. 4:19). Discipleship isn’t private, it is public—our relationship with Jesus influences the people and places around us.

“The discipling life is an others-oriented life.”

Mark Dever 5

W H AT D O E S G A R D E N C I T Y ’ S L O G O A N D NAME SYMBOLIZE ABOUT DISCIPLESHIP? Our logo communicates the type of disciples we make. We grow disciples deep & wide— deeply rooted in God and widely branched to bear fruit and give Life to our city. The human story started in a garden (Gen. 1) and ends in a garden city (Rev. 22). We live in the middle of this big story, in a strategic part of the world that the first settlers called “The Garden City” because everything they planted flourished in our valley’s

HOW DO WE DO THIS?

temperate climate and fertile soil. Our church ex-

ists to plant “trees” (Psalm 1; disciples, groups,

scribed in this guidebook as we gather and scat-

churches) who sink deep roots into and give Life

ter as a church, living intentionally and creatively

to our city, and who carry this DNA with them if

to expand our discipleship culture. The epicent-

God calls them to a new city.

er of our culture is a lifestyle of grace-powered

W H O C A N B E PA R T O F T H I S ? Everybody! We desire everyone in our church family, from the one-week-old Christian

We practice the Life-giving habits pre-

obedience, of acting on our 2 Discipleship Questions that help us listen to and take our next step with God:

to the well seasoned Christian, to play a role

What is God saying to you? What’s your next step?

in our discipleship culture. And this is for nonChristians too—we want non-Christians befriended and selected into discipleship relationships. 2)

We form groups of 3-5 people (same

gender, ideally from your Life Group or Serve Team; we don’t want to add something to your life, we want you to integrate this with your life) who practice these habits together for 6-12

“Many claim to have been born again, but the evidence for mature Christian discipleship is slim.”

EUGENE PETERSON 6

months, then send people out to multiply this process. Ideally at least 1 non-Christian should be originally selected or eventually drawn into the group. These groups can be hierarchical and led “top down” by a lead discipler who runs point on discipling the group, or can function “side to side” as peer discipleship with group members at similar maturity levels. Whichever route you chose, somebody needs to be the primary leader to blaze the trail for your group and every group member can learn from everyone in the group.

“Churches don’t need programs so much as they need cultures of discipling, cultures where each member prioritizes the spiritual health of others…Really, the ‘how’ of discipling is not that complicated. It’s about doing life together with other people as you all journey toward Christ. We make friends and then walk them in a Christward direction.”

Mark Dever

WHAT ARE THE 4 CORE INGREDIENTS THAT FLAVOR OUR DISCIPLESHIP CULTURE? 1)

Developmental Journey/Adventure (Sanctification). Discipleship is a devel-

opmental journey. Every human is living a unique story, and their transformation is a process that requires grace, time, and nuance. We don’t view people as tasks on a to-do list, but as dynamic characters in a developing and redemptive story. Jesus is a radical person, and following him is an adventure full of peaks and valleys, feasts and storms, wins and losses, and “all things working together for good.” The apostle Paul teaches us that disciples “are being transformed…from one degree of glory to another” (2 Corinthians 3:18). Sanctification is a process that most often moves at a developmental pace of one degree of glory to another (not 90 degrees), and has its share of difficulty. The process of growing up is rarely easy. 2)

Relationship (Love). A relational God created us to enjoy relationship with

him and one another. Relationships are the source of our greatest hurts and greatest joys. We mature, heal, and thrive only through relationships of love. The design and purpose of our church is not programs or accomplishments, but relationship, relationship, relationship. Garden City exists to draw you into a deeper love relationship with God, deeper love relationships in our church family, and deeper love relationships with unbelievers in our city. The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships. At the center of our faith is a relational God who sent us a Person, not a program or an idea.

4 CORE INGREDIENTS (CONTINUED) 3)

Desire, Choice, Habits (Obedience). As humans we do what we want, so dis-

cipleship must attend to our desires and our choices/actions/habits. Our culture is built on Life-giving habits that a Holy Spirit-empowered disciple must desire and choose for themselves, around self-directed obedience to the Word of God. The grace of God empowers us to obey God. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, “Grace and active obedience are complementary. There is no faith without good works, and no good works apart from faith.” We don’t treat people like kids who need babysitting. We expect adults to be adults—responsible for their desires and choices. Our 2 Discipleship Questions are daily opportunities to, hopefully from a place of grace and desire, choose to listen to and obey God: What is God saying to you? What’s your next step? Our brains are geared toward habituality, so intentional habit building is central to transforming discipleship. 4)

Trust and Risk (Faith). Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

The adventure of discipleship constantly presents us with big problems, where we have the opportunity to trust that our God is bigger and exercise the first three words of our mission statement: “Depending on God.” Humans risk, or we rust. We grow and the gospel advances only as we exercise fresh faith in God and take fresh risks to follow God into new territory. We don’t have a small God, we believe in a BIG God— therefore we trust big, pray big, and risk forward. Among the most important and repeated words of the Bible are: “Trust God.” We all hear “trust God” through our own experience of what it’s been like to trust people. Everybody comes to faith with some type of injury to their ability to trust. Our hope is for Jesus to use our community to bring healing here, and lead you into a life of deep dependence on God.

“God is a God of adventure, and a life well lived, a life of discipleship, must be one that can take risks as we courageously follow our Lord…Life, and particularly life in God, will always involve dynamic movement, growth, development, change, participation, adventure.”

Michael Frost & Alan Hirsch 8

WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT FROM JUMPING INTO OUR CHURCH’S ADVENTURE OF MAKING DISCIPLES? On the one hand: Danger. Opposition. Conflict. Spiritual warfare. Hurt. Pain. Loss. To be sinned against. Shock, sadness, betrayal, anger. Messiness. Discomfort, discouragement, chaos. Frustration. Suffering. Death. Lament. Failure stories.

On the other hand: Excitement. Joy. Laughter. Growth. Healing. Discovery. Breakthrough. Learning. Intimacy. Impact. Lifelong friendships. Wisdom. Comfort, encouragement, clarity. Peace. Gratitude. Receiving and giving forgiveness. Redemption. Resurrection power. God’s guidance and provision. Answered prayer. A real experience of Ephesians 3:20-21. Rest. Success stories. Celebration. Singing. Hope.

“Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God.”

William Carey

To sum it up: Have human-sized expectations of humans, and God-sized expectations of God. Have fallen-world expectations of a fallen-world (and an imperfect church), and new-creation-sized expectations of our God whose redemptive kingdom has broken into this world and is making all things new. As you pursue this discipleship journey, things won’t go exactly as you planned, but you can trust God’s bigger and better plan. What we are developing in people is a lifestyle for a lifetime, “a long obedience in the same direction.”

“By definition, an adventure is a journey with an uncertain outcome.”

MEMORIZE

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. - Ephesians 3:20-21

HOW DO WE MEASURE THE SUCCESS OF OUR MISSION? Through people taking next steps in making, maturing, and multiplying disciples of Jesus. A key observable metric for us is people engaged in this discipleship process and seeing people “graduate” from Discipleship Groups after 6-12 months of journeying through this guidebook in order to multiply new groups that will make, mature, and multiply disciples. We celebrate next steps that are easy for the whole church to see and measure: baptisms, inviting more people to gather with our church, growth in church membership, planting a new Life Group or Discipleship Group or church, etc. We also celebrate next steps that the whole church family might not see, but that a smaller group of the church will see: confessing sin, reconciling a broken relationship, sharing the gospel, taking a risk in the workplace, working through this guidebook, etc. Our motto here is “better, not perfect.” We’re not chasing perfection. With each new day of following Jesus we’re simply seeking better—to take a next step that leads us deeper into abundant Life. Things will not go exactly as planned and we will make mistakes as disciple makers. That’s okay and to be expected. Look at Jesus’ original disciples—they often said and did stupid things. But Jesus met them in moments of failure and turned them into discipleship moments that produced new insights and growth.

“Certainly we should be very active in seeking God, and Jesus himself called us to ‘ask, seek, knock’ in order to find him. Yet those who enter a relationship with God inevitably look back and recognize that God’s grace had sought them out, breaking them open to new realities.”

Tim Keller 10

HOW IS THIS GUIDEBOOK ORGANIZED? This guidebook has 3 parts, each organized around 4 habits, for a total of 12 habits. We chose 12 because this is a number of biblical significance (12 tribes of Israel, Jesus chose 12 disciples, etc.) and allows space to cover fairly comprehensive ground (Alcoholics Anonymous works through a whole recovery process in 12 steps, etc.). But, this guidebook is incomplete. It doesn’t guide us into everything there is to know about discipleship, instead it leads us into 12 habits—12 ways of living—that have the potential to produce a major difference in our world and give someone a core framework for a lifetime of discipleship.

Each habit/chapter contains: • An introductory paragraph about the habit • A biblical text to study, and related verses to memorize • Several suggested ways, methods, or tools for practicing the habit • Some key quotes, allowing you to hear from diverse voices • A one-sentence summary of the main takeaway • And recommended reading for those who want to dig deeper

Optionality and Freedom: This guidebook is built with options and freedom. We’re all different, and we want you and your Discipleship Group to pursue the most Life-giving way to practice the habits and works through the content of this book. Have fun blazing your own trail through this guidebook, and share with the whole church how God is meeting you here—you’ll likely have something to teach all of us that will inspire and equip us. Add your maturity, wisdom, leadership, and resources to this guidebook to increase the depth and width of our discipleship culture. This is the 1.0 version of our guidebook, and your input could help shape our future 2.0 version.

HOW DO I START, WHAT’S MY NEXT STEP? Turn the page and start with Part 1 and Habit 1: Selection.

“Jesus asks nothing of us without giving us the strength to perform it. His commandment never seeks to destroy life, but to foster, strengthen and heal it.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer 11

Part 1: RECEIVE LIFE

“We do not make friends with God; God makes friends with us, bringing us to know him by making his love known to us.”

J.I. Packer

PART 1 OF OUR DISCIPLESHIP CULTURE BEGINS WITH THE VERB “RECEIVE.” This may be the most foundational and important verb of the Christian life. New life in Christ begins (and matures) through receiving. Salvation, new life, a relationship with Jesus, the discipleship journey starts with God, not with us. God is the initiator in this relationship, we are the responders. God is the giver in this relationship, we are the receivers. In a culture obsessed with achieving, we are learning the countercultural path of receiving. Grace, abundant life, eternal life, acceptance, belonging, being loved by God, and being recognized as somebody of value is received, not achieved.

Habit 1: SELECTION SELECT YOUR PEOPLE, PATH, AND PLAN.

As individual disciples we want to intentionally and creatively practice the steps in this guidebook as we gather and scatter as a church. Your week is full of opportunity to use this guidebook and our 2 Discipleship Questions a launching pad for enhancing Garden City’s discipleship culture. Whether you’re gathered on Sunday at a worship service or buried in emails on Tuesday at the office, you can always act on the questions: What is God saying to you? What’s your next step? But, this guidebook will bear the most fruit in your life and our church as you work through it with a group of disciples/friends (a Discipleship Group). Forming this group starts with selection. Salvation starts with selection—God selects, elects, chooses us. And a discipleship journey starts with selection, as modeled by Jesus: he selected people to disciple. This pattern is then repeated throughout the New Testament by various leaders who select people (either in a hierarchal/top-down model, or a peer-based/side-to-side model) to make, mature, and multiply disciples together.

Note: The amount of time you want to spend with each Habit/chapter will vary by habit and by group dynamics. Some habits you may want to cover in just 1 or 2 meetings, while other habits you may want to devote several months of attention, time, and energy to. Let the Holy Spirit guide your pacing.

MEMORIZE

And he chose from them twelve. - Luke 6:13

SELECT YOUR PEOPLE Jesus started his discipleship movement through selection, prayerfully selecting a small group of teachable disciples to share the gospel and his life with. We do the same thing. Start talking to God and talking to people, then thoughtfully select 3-5 people who want to commit to a journey of making, maturing, and multiplying disciples together. Notice the word “want” in that last sentence. It’s important to form a group that desires to do this. We want desire-driven (not duty-driven) discipleship. Please also consider asking at least 1 non-Christian friend to join this journey. We’ve found the size of 3-5 to be ideal—it creates intimate, diverse, and flexible groups that can thrive and, after 6-12 months, send out 1-2 people to start a new group that makes more disciples.

Especially if you are choosing a hierarchical/top-down discipleship model (which is what Jesus did with his brief 3 year ministry on earth) your key word should be “potential.” Jesus chose disciples on the basis of potential—not on the basis of who they were, but on the basis of who they could become. Start with the end in mind. Select for potential. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you towards potential leaders, people who God can develop into multipliers and leaders of leaders. Once you’ve formed you group, reach agreement on who should be the primary leader of your group—the “quarterback” who keeps the team on mission and moving forward. Generally this will already be clear, it’s the person who took the most initiative to gather this group. If you’ve not been able to find a Discipleship Group for yourself, ask your Life Group leader, a staff member, or an elder for help.

“God wants us.”

- Elizabeth Elliot

“It all started by Jesus calling a few men to follow him. His concern was not with programs to reach the multitudes, but with men whom the multitudes would follow. Men were to be his method of winning the world to God.” - Robert Coleman

READ LUKE 5:1-11, 6:12-16 As a newly formed Discipleship Group, write out a list of everything you notice about Jesus’ selection of disciples. These texts reveal probably 5-10 key insights. Discuss and pray through together how you want these insights to influence what God does with your group.

“Jesus saw in these simple men the potential of leadership for the Kingdom. They were indeed ‘unlearned and ignorant,’ but they were teachable…their hearts were big…Jesus can use anyone who wants to be used.”

Robert Coleman

SHARE YOUR PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE WITH DISCIPLESHIP. Has anyone discipled you before? Have you discipled anyone else before? Have you ever been in a peer-to-peer discipleship relationship? Who are the people who have had the biggest influence on the person you are today, and how have they shaped you?

SELECT YOUR PATH This guidebook asks you to select “your path,” to select 1 of the core books that are central to Garden City’s DNA. Select together the core book that your group wants to study, and study this book together alongside the guidebook. In addition to these core books, each habit in this guidebook contains optional recommended books and resources to deepen your discipleship roots. If you’ve already worked through these core books or are more excited about one of the recommended resources that appear throughout this guidebook, select and study one of those books instead.

We recognize that not everyone loves to read (and some of us may not know how to read), but throughout church history the written word has played a dominant role in discipleship. If reading is difficult for members of your group, get creative: make use of audio books, read your core book out loud together when you’re gathered as a group, use your group to train someone in reading, etc.

The Bible — Pick a book like 1 Thessalonians, Mark, John, or the current sermon series to accompany your discipleship journey. We encourage everyone in our church to own and use the ESV Study Bible as a key resource for your discipleship. The Relational Soul, Rich Plass and Jim Cofield Select to study what it means that we are created in the image of a relational God. The Prodigal God, Tim Keller Select to study how the gospel is a 3rd way of life, distinct from both breaking the rules and keeping the rules. The Master Plan of Evangelism, by Robert Coleman Select to study Jesus’ method of disciple-making. One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp Select to study a call to live a life of radical gratitude, trust, and joy in the midst of a

CORE BOOKS

broken world. The Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Select to study a life-changing and challenging book about following Jesus together. The Walk, Stephen Smallman Select to study the core fundamentals of following Jesus and making disciples. The Gospel, Ray Ortlund. Select to study how gospel doctrine can shape a gospel culture. God’s Good Design, Claire Smith Select to study God’s design of equality and distinction in roles for men and women. Total Church, Tim Chester and Steve Timmis Select to study a biblical vision of church life. The Emotionally Healthy Leader or Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Pete Scazzero Select to study how to become more emotionally aware, healthy, and whole. Desiring God, John Piper or Knowing God, J.I. Packer Select to study deep and rich theological classics written at an accessible level. Every Good Endeavor, Tim Keller Select to study a robust biblical vision for work and life.

“We are cruel to ourselves if we try to live in this world without knowing about the God whose world it is and who runs it…What makes life worthwhile is having a big enough objective, something which catches our imagination and lays hold of our allegiance; and this the Christian has in a way that no other person has. For what higher, more exalted, and more compelling goal can there be than to know God?”

J.I. Packer

SELECT YOUR PLAN Select the practical when, where, how, and how long of your group. • When will you meet: 1x a week or 2x a month, in the evening or in the morning? • Where will you meet: In your apartment, at a coffeeshop, or as part of/an extension of your Life Group? • How will you meet: Will your time together and use of this guidebook to look like 75% discussion and 25% prayer, or do you want it the opposite; Will most of your time together take place huddled together in a home, out on the streets of our city serving some need, or in a public place like a coffee shop so that your group can be a visible witness? • How long do you plan to meet for? Set your groups sending/multiplication date based on how much time you think you will need to accomplish your mission. Go no shorter than 6 months (don’t rush this) and no longer than 12 months (don’t delay this, there are new groups to start and disciples to make). • Look at the tools and suggestions in Appendix 1, see if you desire to incorporate any of it into your plan.

“Building men and women is not that easy. It requires constant personal attention, much like a father gives to his children. This is something that no organization or class can ever do…There is simply no substitute for getting with people, and it is ridiculous to imagine that anything less, short of a miracle, can develop strong Christian leadership.”

Robert Coleman

CRAFT TOGETHER A 1 PARAGRAPH STATEMENT OF THE MISSION OF YOUR GROUP. Include in this paragraph your people (names of who is in the group), path (book choice), and plan (the when, where, how, and how long of your group). Once you’ve reached clarity on this, begin to live out your mission together. Below is a sample plan:

“We (Lisa, Cheryl, Ting, and Bethany) commit to gathering as a Discipleship Group for 12 months, from January 15 to December 15, to grow in our discipleship and to make more disciples. We know that people get closer to each other as they pursue a mission together, and our mission is to follow Jesus and make disciples together. We will meet at least 2x a month (during our normal Life Group meeting) for 2 hours to study this guidebook and Desiring God by John Piper. We will emphasize putting into action what we learn, and will end each of our gatherings with each person sharing their “next step” they are committing to taking as a disciple. We’re aiming to draw at least 1 non-Christian into our group in our first few months, and we plan to send 1-2 people out to start a new Discipleship Group at the end of our 12 months together. As we get deeper into this journey we’ll see who God is raising up for us to send out.”

“The world’s religions have certain traits in common, but until the gospel of Jesus Christ burst upon the Mediterranean world, no one in the history of human imagination had conceived of such a thing as the worship of a crucified man.” - Fleming Rutledge

PRAY TOGETHER. SUBMIT AND SURRENDER YOUR DISCIPLESHIP GROUP TO THE LORD. Use your first meeting to surrender your group’s journey together before the Lord. Pray specific and pray big, asking God’s will to be done with your group. If there’s anything God is convicting you to repent of, then repent right now for a fresh and honest start to your journey together. This journey and this guidebook will regularly call us to repentance.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. - Psalm 51:1-2, 7

MEMORIZE

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.

TAKE SOMEONE WITH YOU. Something we see Jesus, Paul, and other great disciple-makers doing is the simple act of taking someone with them wherever they were going as a way to share their life with them. Build a habit of taking someone with you as you go about ordinary life—running errands, a walk or a workout, eating a meal, taking a trip. Turn these ordinary moments into discipleship moments where you transfer truth and love through relationship. Much disciple making is caught, not taught, as a person begins to slowly absorb and imitate another’s example.

Never forget that the greatest impact you will have on people is usually through your presence, not your ideas. Presence matters most.

“Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.” - Philippians 3:17 “Our lives illustrate what God is like much more by what we are and do than by what we say.” - Elizabeth Elliot

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of selection—we live a rhythm of selecting a few, focused discipleship relationships to invest in.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 1: Made for Friendship, Drew Hunter A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, Eugene Peterson Mentor for Life, Natasha Sistrunk Robinson The Relationship Principles of Jesus, Tom Holladay The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni Sticky Teams, Larry Osborne

Habit 2: Listen, Pray, Obey RELATING TO GOD AND DEVELOPING WISDOM

God speaks. One of the first things the Bible reveals is that God is a speaking God—he speaks the universe into existence through the power of his words and then he speaks and enters into relationship with the first man and woman. He speaks words of life to humans, showing us how to live true to our design and flourish. God speaks, we receive and listen to his words. Foundational to a thriving relationship with God is learning to listen to God (namely through his Word, but also as he speaks to us through his Spirit and Christian community), learning to pray/commune with God, and learning to obey God. This is the process of deepening your relationship with God and developing wisdom. God is always present to us, our journey is about learning to be more present to our ever-present God.

MEMORIZE

Everyone who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. - Matthew 7:24

STUDY MATTHEW 7:24-27 AND ITS SURROUNDING CONTEXT. Discuss together what Jesus is teaching here. Why does Jesus call his disciples to both hear his words and do his words? What’s the difference between the wise man and the foolish man, and where do you see such examples in your life and in our culture? How does a person develop wisdom? What are you learning in your core book about this topic?

The first step toward God is a step away from the lies of the world. It is a renunciation of the lies we have been told about ourselves and our neighbors and our universe…The usual biblical word describing the no we say to the world’s lies and the yes we say to God’s truth is repentance. It is always and everywhere the first word in the Christian life…Repentance is not an emotion. It is a decision.

Eugene Peterson 23

DEVELOP A DAILY HABIT OF LISTENING TO, PRAYING TO, AND OBEYING GOD. God is always present to us and speaking to us, our opportunity is to become more present to God and better listen to him. God speaks to us authoritatively, clearly, infallibly through his “living and active” Word: the Bible. So it’s wise for disciples to develop a daily habit of listening to God by reading God’s Word, answering and relating to God through prayer, and obeying what God says to us. There is not one right way to do this, there are hundreds of different ways this daily habit could look. Discuss and develop as a group the daily habit that is most Life-giving for you, and begin forging these habits together and encouraging each other in them.

“Grace and active obedience are complementary. There is no faith without good works, and no good works apart from faith.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

RECOGNIZE THAT SIN (LACK OF OBEDIENCE) DOESN’T JUST HURT YOU, IT HURTS THE COMMUNITY. Sin is corporate. Sin has relational implications for all of us. Rich Plass writes, “Your individual behavior affects the community, not just what you can be but what we can be.” Sin is fundamentally selfish, it’s choosing a path that harms the people around you. Start creating a culture in your Discipleship Group of repenting of sin together. Is there something God is calling you to confess and repent of right now?

Elizabeth Elliot 24

“The question is simply, ‘Who is your master?’ Once that’s settled, you ask whether any word have been spoken. If it has, you have your orders.”

DEEPEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD THROUGH HABITS LIKE SCRIPTURE MEDITATION, SOLITUDE, SILENCE, AND STILLNESS. We’re all so busy and our busy minds are full of so much content. To better hear and commune with God in our noisy world it’s wise to develop some additional habits that allow for deep listening and transformation. Discuss these habits as a group, and maybe pick the one that is most difficult for you to practice and incorporate it into your life. If stillness is really difficult for you, that likely means there’s a big opportunity for growth and discovery. • Scripture meditation: Slow down your reading of the Bible, pick a verse or passage that you more deeply meditate on and soak in throughout the day or your week. • Solitude: Schedule some time daily or weekly to be alone, away from others, so that you can be more attentive to God. • Silence: Schedule some time daily or weekly to be in silence, away from noise, so that you can be more attentive to God. • Stillness: Schedule some time daily or weekly (try 15 minutes 2-3x a week) to be still, away from activity and accomplishing things, so that you can be more attentive to God and how he is at work.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10

READ CHRISTIAN BIOGRAPHY AND AUTOBIOGRAPHY. Reading biography is 1 Thessalonians 2:8 in action—the writer is “sharing the gospel and their life” with us. Most of the great biographies of the saints that have gone before us contain lengthy sections about how these disciples discovered and forged habits of listening to, delighting in, and following God at a deep, hearttransforming level. It could be fun and fruitful to pick 1 significant saint from church history to deeply study each year. After 10 years of doing this you’ll have acquired 10 diverse mentors who will have significantly shaped your walk with the Lord.

“Oh, that you and I might get into the very heart of the Word of God, and get that Word into ourselves! As I have seen the silkworm eat into the leaf, and consume it, so ought we to do with the Word of the Lord—not crawl over its surface, but eat right into it till we have taken it into our inmost parts. It is idle merely to let the eye glance over the words, or to recollect the poetical expressions, or the historic facts; but it is blessed to eat into the very soul of the Bible until, at last, you come to talk in Scriptural language, and your very style is fashioned upon Scripture models, and, what is better still, your spirit is flavored with the words of the Lord. …continually making us feel and say, ‘Why, this man is a living Bible!’ Prick him anywhere—his blood is Bibline, the very essence of the Bible flows from him.” Charles Spurgeon

DEVELOP A HABIT OF PURSUING WISDOM. The Bible and the discipleship journey is not driven by rules, but by revelation and relationship that leads to wisdom. God speaks to us and surrounds us with people who speak into our life so that we develop wisdom—the ability to navigate life well and make choices for God’s glory and the common good. Discuss as a group your current practices for pursuing wisdom and making decisions. How do you listen to God, and how do you seek and process counsel from a diversity of others who see things you can’t see? What’s 1 new step you can take this year to develop wisdom in

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yourself and/or others?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6

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Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed - Proverbs 15:22

It will always be true that the wisest course for the disciple is always to abide solely by the Word of God in all simplicity. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. - James 1:5

DEVELOP A HABIT OF COMMUNICATING TO OTHERS WHAT YOU ARE LEARNING FROM GOD’S WORD. Our learning of God’s Word sinks deeper in our hearts when we thoughtfully share, communicate, and teach it to others. One fun and simple way to practice this is to each day share with at least 1 person what you learned in God’s Word today. This could be a co-worker, a friend, a spouse, a young child, a stranger, etc. Don’t just quote what you read, consider the unique context of the person you’re speaking to and think about how to best and creatively communicate today’s biblical truth to them. As you do this overtime you’ll find yourself becoming a clearer and more effective communicator of God’s Word. We want everyone in our church to develop the ability to be both thoughtful readers and teachers of God’s Word.

“Our Bible teaching should always look to explore the missionary implications of a passage—to make the truth plain and to make it real. To that end we need to explore how the text speaks to contemporary culture. At its most basic level, an integral part of the preparation process is thinking through how to articulate the truths being considered to a non-Christian.”

Tim Chester

ENJOY PRAYER! VIEW PRAYER AS A RELATIONSHIP/DEPENDENCE. Don’t view prayer as an item on your to-do list. Prayer is being with God. Prayer is relationship. Prayer is the freedom of dependence, of casting all your cares upon God and relaxing in your Father’s arms. Take time as a Discipleship Group to enjoy praying together, to cast your cares upon God, and to ask him to form in you a stronger habit of listening, praying, and obeying that is driven by deep communion

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and intimacy with God.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:6-7

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of listening to God, talking to God, and choosing to obey God and walk in wisdom.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 2: Garden City’s Word & Prayer Plan Answering God, Eugene Peterson How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth, Gordon Fee and Douglas Stuart Women of the Word, Jen Wilkin A Praying Life, Paul Miller A Call to Spiritual Reformation, D.A. Carson God’s Wisdom for Navigating Life, Tim and Kathy Keller Prayer and the Knowledge of God, by Graeme Goldsworthy Union with Christ, by Rankin Wilbourne The Choice, Edith Eva Eger Just Do Something, Kevin DeYoung What You Do Is Who You Are, Ben Horowitz

Habit 3: STORY OWN, TELL, AND DEVELOP YOUR STORY

People are not problems to be solved or victims who are stuck, we are dynamic characters in a colorful story—an adventure—that’s still developing and full of redemptive potential. Maturity is about more deeply facing, knowing, and owning our story; telling our story to safe people; and taking next steps to follow Jesus into a bigger story. Stepping into this bigger story we increasingly recognize God as the hero and ourselves as the supporting characters who make choices to wisely steward the opportunities God gives us. As we listen to other’s stories, our goal is to help people feel known & loved by God and by us, and empowered by the Spirit to take the next step in their story. This is our key discipleship verse, 1 Thessalonians 2:8, in deep action: here we’re deeply sharing the gospel and our lives with one another.

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Where do you get that living water? Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty. - John 4

STUDY JOHN 4:1-42 TOGETHER. List everything you can detect in the text about the Samaritan woman’s story and how Jesus shows up in her life to interrupt, confront, and transform her story. Each time you go through this exercise with a new group of people you’ll likely spot new insights in the text. Expect to detect at least 5-10 key insights that help us better own, tell, and develop our stories. What connections can you make between John 4, the core book you are reading, and your own stories?

“You don’t mature by ignoring your life. You mature by taking hold of your life.” Rich Plass

OWN AND TELL YOUR STORY. We grow when we face our story, and when we tell our story to a safe group of people who want to know and love us. During the course of this discipleship journey devote a meeting to each person telling their story. We recommend the following method: Use 1 piece of paper to draw either a picture or a chart with 5-7 key life events to tell your story from. Alternatively you may find it helpful to use a large piece of paper to draw your story, or to include a drawing of your family tree. Then, use that drawing as a reference point and devote at least one hour to telling your story. See page 23 of The Big Story, Appendix 2 of The Relational Soul, or Appendix 3 of The Emotionally Healthy Leader for further guidance on how to draw your story. The group’s job is to listen to your story, and to lovingly ask further questions to draw out more parts of your story. Don’t tell the pretend or polished version of your story, tell the real story about the real you. You’re safe to do this because the real God loves the real you. Attending to your story leads to integration, the path of coming to fully own your life. All it takes is one person in your group to show up with vulnerability to create a community that can be vulnerable, honest, and quick to confess sin or ask for help with a need.

“All our human stories of heroes, monsters, journeys, and sacrifice give voice to our universal quest for identity, purpose, and deliverance. Instead of competing with God’s story, these stories gesture towards it.”

- Leslie Leyland Fields

“One’s own heart can be a foreign territory.” - James K.A. Smith

DISTINGUISH BETWEEN SIN, WOUNDS, WEAKNESSES. Include these three components in your storytelling: Sin, Wounds, Weaknesses. Sin is our fault, and requires repentance. Wounds are not our fault, and require healing. Weaknesses are realities that require grace and understanding. If we categorize everything as sin we will fall into the trap of legalism and fundamentalism. If we categorize everything as wounds we will fall into the trap of victimization and addiction. Healthy discipleship recognizes the big distinction between sin and wounds.

“We’re all mixed bags.”

- Gordon Gekko

“If feeling our own weakness makes us rely on God, and if the best ministry grows from reliance on him, then our weakness is a ministry resource. And we have an unlimited supply of this resource. With this approach, learning to embrace weakness has made me feel strangely invincible! The things that used to bring me shame and fear now force me to tell those I lead, ‘Well, we’re just going to have to trust God because I’m so inadequate it’s funny!’”

- Mandy Smith

HOW TO ENGAGE PEOPLE’S STORIES AND PROCESS WITH THEM OVER TIME (ADAPTED FROM RICH PLASS): • Listen to the story of others as sacred journeys. Create safety. • Ask good questions. Say things like: “Tell me more.” “Tell me more about that.” • Pay attention to their deep desires. • Encourage them to face their fears and feel their emotions (the core emotions: shame, guilt, fear/anxiety, grief, joy, sadness, anger, loneliness). • Recognize the difference between sin, wounds, and weaknesses; and how they impact each other. Often 90% of a person’s sins stem from their wounds. • Encourage! • Help people process their limits and losses. • Envision different scenarios/options, help them see what God might be inviting them into now. • Point towards helpful spiritual disciplines for continued growth, maturity, and healing. • Always communicate hope.

“Family of Origin carries the greatest external impact on the development of the soul. Because of it and in it we develop our learned level of intimacy and our basic way of relating to God, others, and ourselves.”

Rich Plass 31

BE BAPTIZED. If you’re a Christian and you’ve not yet been baptized, now would be a great time to “go public” with your faith by being baptized in the presence of your church family and sharing some of your story. Baptism doesn’t save you, but it’s one of just two sacraments Jesus gave his church. Baptism is the first and one-time sacrament we practice upon someone’s entrance into the family of God. Communion is the ongoing sacrament we practice once one has been born again and baptized into God’s family.

And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name. - Acts 22:16

Michael Horton

“The gospel is not just a series of facts to which we yield our assent, but a dramatic narrative that re-plots our identity.”

UNDERSTAND THE BIG STORYLINE OF THE BIBLE, A STORYLINE CENTERED ON GOD, NOT YOU: CREATION, FALL, REDEMPTION, CONSUMMATION. Creation: God created the universe for his glory, and declared his creation good. Fall: The first humans rejected God’s rule over them, sin and death enter the world. Redemption: Our loving Creator unfolds his master plan to redeem his world and rescue fallen sinners, climaxing in the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus. Consummation: Jesus will return to judge sin and evil once and for all, and form a new creation—the joining of heaven and earth—where God will dwell with his people forever and receive glory. Our individual stories fit under, and only make proper sense in, this big story. *See Appendix 4 for another way of understanding the Bible’s storyline, and for a method of using this storyline to listen to other people’s stories and thoughtfully sharing the gospel with them.

“The world does not revolve around you.”

Anonymous 32

“If we discern a plot to our lives, we are more likely to take ourselves and our lives seriously. If nothing is connected, then nothing matters. Stories are the single best way humans have for accounting for our experience. They help us see how choices and events are tied together, why things are and how things could be. Healthy stories challenge us to be active characters, not passive victims or observers. We cannot live our story alone because we are characters in each other’s stories. What you do is part of my story; what I do is part of yours. Few things are as encouraging as the realization that things can be different and that we have a role to play in making them so.”

Daniel Tay l o r

DEVELOP YOUR STORY. Practice (for the rest of your life) seeing yourself as a character in an unfolding story. You are not stuck and you are not alone. You are a character, a unique image-bearer of God, who can make choices today that take your story in a new direction. A good question to ask yourself to help you re-frame things: “How can I choose to enter a better story here?” In telling your story you’ve focused on where you’ve been, now you can shift your focus to where you want to go—the new territory God is calling you into. Share as a group 1 or 2 big goals (don’t set more than 2 goals, our souls need focus and time for deep change to occur) you each have for this year as you step further into the big story God is writing for his glory and your good. You might benefit from looking at the lists in Appendix 2 to hone in on the 1 or 2 ways God is inviting you into deeper maturity and development. Also: Consider if someone in your group has a story that ought to be told to our whole church family because of how it would build up and encourage the whole church body.

“The same impulse that makes us want our books to have a plot makes us want our lives to have a plot. We need to feel that we are getting somewhere, making progress. There is something in us that is not satisfied with a merely psychological explanation of our lives. It doesn’t do justice to our conviction that we are on some kind of journey or quest, that there must be some deeper meaning to our lives than whether we feel good about ourselves. Only people who have lost the sense of adventure, mystery, and romance worry about their self-esteem. And at that point what they need is not a good therapist, but a good story. Or more precisely, the central question for us should not be, ‘What personality dynamics explain my behavior?’ but rather, ‘What sort of story am I in?’”

William K i r k p at r i c k

ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER! Encouragement is powerful. Human history is full of stories of God using someone’s encouragement and words of life to deeply bless, heal, embolden, and transform the direction of a life. The entirety of Habit #11 will be devoted to encouragement later, but start encouraging now. Create a culture of encouragement in your Discipleship Group. Aim to become the biggest encourager in your group. Set the tone. Encouragement can play a big role in shaping our stories and our next steps of faith.

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

BELIEVE THAT GOD IS WITH YOU AND FOR YOU. We won’t progress much as a disciples until we come to believe that God is for us. Our sins are forgiven, we are loved, our story is deeply connected to God’s big story and glory, and we can find rest and strength in the reality that God is with and for his people. God is at work, and that work includes working all parts of our story together for his glory and our good. Take time as a group to praise God for who he is and for how he has cared for each of you and your stories.

“Coming to the end of myself is the realization that I’m dependent on someone other than myself if I’m going to be truly free.” James K.A. Smith

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? - Psalm 118:6

“You see no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children with a Never-Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love. And though they would forget him, and run from Him, deep in their hearts God’s children would miss Him always, and long for Him—lost children yearning for their home.”

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And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

S a l ly Lloyd Jones 35

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of owning, telling, and developing our stories.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 3: The Big Story, Justin Buzzard The Story of Christianity, Justo L. Gonzalez You Can Trust God to Write Your Story, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth The Pilgrim’s Progress, John Bunyan Tell Me A Story: The Life-Shaping Power of our Stories, Daniel Taylor On the Road with Saint Augustine: A Real-World Spirituality for Restless Hearts, James K.A. Smith Telling The Truth, Frederick Buechner

Habit 4: Enjoy a Grace-Based Identity SPREAD HUMILITY AND GRACE

The world teaches us to achieve our way to “salvation” and to build a name for ourselves. God teaches us that we are dead and guilty in our sinful rebellion against him, that “sinner” is the name we have built for ourselves. God reveals that we can only “receive” our way to salvation. Only God’s gift of grace (undeserved love) expressed supremely through the substitutionary life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus can give us the new life and secure identity we desire. The gospel melts pride and forms a happy humility that’s contagiously freeing to non-believers. The good news of the gospel is not just the ABCs of the Christian life, but the A-Z of the Christian life: We are saved, and we grow, by receiving and enjoying grace—we are new creations in Christ who are eternally secure by grace alone, have nothing to prove, and are no better than anyone else.

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For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. - Romans 3:23-25

“Were I asked to focus the New Testament message in three words, my proposal would be adoption through propitiation, and I do not expect to ever meet a richer or more pregnant summary of the gospel than that.” J.I. Packer

STUDY ROMANS 3:9-31 AND EPHESIANS 2:1-10 TOGETHER. What do these texts teach us about sin, judgment, pride, and our old identity? What do these texts teach us about grace, humility, and our new identity? What connections can you make between these texts, what our culture says (and doesn’t say) about sin and finding an identity, your own story, and the core book you are reading?

“The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”

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- Tim Keller

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. - 2 Corinthians 5:17

IDENTIFY WHERE YOU ARE MOST TEMPTED TO BUILD A PERFORMANCE-BASED IDENTITY INSTEAD OF ENJOYING A GRACE-BASED IDENTITY. Discuss these dynamics as a group, and trace connections to your stories (Habit 3). Why and where are you tempted to find your identity in your performance rather than in Jesus’ performance for you? How does this show up in your life and impact those around you? What makes you afraid of grace—of letting go and repenting of building your own identity, and just receiving the wild grace of God? Create a culture in your group of noticing these tendencies in one another, repenting together, and enjoying grace together. Let’s be a people who live from our identity (we are loved!) instead of for an identity.

“Most of us tend to base our personal relationship with God on our performance instead of on his grace.” Jerry Bridges

“What is grace? Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return. Grace is love coming at you that has nothing to do with you. Grace is being loved when you are unlovable. It is being loved when you are the opposite of lovable. The cliche definition of grace is ‘unconditional love.’ It is a true cliche, for it is a good description of the thing.”

Paul Zahl

DEVELOP A HABIT OF NEVER BASING YOUR JUSTIFICATION ON YOUR SANCTIFICATION. Justification is the one-time event that occurs when we are born again, where God forever clears us of our guilty verdict and, because of Jesus, views us “just-as-if-I-never-sinned” and “just-as-if-I-always-obeyed” (these two phrases summarize the heart of justification). Sanctification is different, sanctification is your lifetime process of growing as a disciple. One of the biggest errors Christians make is basing their justification (a gracebased identity) on their sanctification (how they are currently performing and progressing/not progressing). This gets the teaching of the New Testament backwards, creates an unstable identity, and misses the transforming power of grace. Discuss together how you could make a habit of avoiding this error. We need to be a people who preach the gospel to ourselves regularly. Perhaps we shouldn’t get out of bed in the morning until we’ve reminded ourselves that we are justified, beloved, new creations in Christ.

“Only a fraction of the present body of professing Christians are solidly appropriating the justifying work of Christ in their lives. Many have so light an apprehension of God’s holiness and of the extent and guilt of their sin that consciously they see little need for justification, although below the surface of their lives they are deeply guilt-ridden and insecure. Many others have a theological commitment to [the doctrine of justification], but in their day-to-day existence they rely on their sanctification for justification… drawing their assurance of acceptance with God from their sincerity, their past experience of conversion, their recent religious performance, or the relative infrequency of their conscious, willful disobedience. Few know how to start each day with a thoroughgoing stand upon Luther’s platform: you are accepted, looking outward in faith and claiming the wholly alien righteousness of Christ as the only ground for acceptance, relaxing in that quality of trust which will produce increasing sanctification as faith is active in love and gratitude. In order for a pure and lasting work of spiritual renewal to take place within the church, multitudes within it must be led to build their lives on this foundation. This means that they must be conducted into the light of a full conscious awareness of God’s holiness, the depth of their sin and the sufficiency of the atoning work of Christ for their acceptance with God, not just at the outset of their Christian lives but in every succeeding day.”

RICHARD LOVELACE 40

BE A SON, BE A DAUGHTER. The doctrine of justification is a legal metaphor—we’ve been made “right” with God. The doctrine of adoption/sonship is a relational metaphor—we’ve been adopted by our Heavenly Father, we are no longer orphans but are now his sons and daughters. Whether you grew up with a negative or positive father figure, your Heavenly Father is the best dad ever—and he’s your dad, and he loves you, and you get to live for eternity as his beloved son or daughter. Life tries to foist many identities upon us adults, but probably the most powerful and freeing identity to embrace and enjoy as a Christian is being a child of God. Live into this identity more and more. By all means be an adult, but first and foremost you are a son or daughter of your Heavenly Father who invites you to relate to him with childlike dependence, freedom, and joy. What would it look like for you to live from this identity this year? Use Appendix 3 (The Orphan vs. Child of God Checklist) to help you get specific handles on this, perhaps picking 1 or 2 areas of growth opportunity that God impresses upon you from the list. Focus on an area that overlaps with the 1 or 2 growth goals you picked from Habit #3: Story. Don’t try to deeply work on more than 1 or 2 areas of your heart at once, deep change requires focus and time.

“What is a Christian? The question can be answered in many ways, but the richest answer I know is that a Christian is one who has God as Father.” J.I. Packer

“Who am I? I am a child of God, the bride of his Son, and the dwelling place of his Spirit. And this identity is given to me by grace.”

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See what kind of love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! - 1 John 3:1

Tim Chester 41

PRACTICE SPREADING HUMILITY AND GRACE—MAKE THIS PART OF YOUR REPUTATION. Because our identity is securely based on grace, we get to enjoy the freedom of humility. We don’t have it all together, we sin, we need help. Therefore we can practice humility by confessing our sin to God and others, asking for forgiveness, and asking for help. We can be honest. As God sanctifies us we ought to increasingly become the most humble people in our neighborhoods and in our workplaces. This is a happy, freeing humility of a person who doesn’t think less of herself, but thinks of herself less because she knows she’s loved and is occupied with sharing God’s love with others. There’s 1 thing that the Bible says God exalts, and that’s humility. Discuss as a group what it looks like to be a people who practice spreading humility and grace in our church and in our city. What is your reputation right now, what do you sometimes spread instead of humility and grace? Imagine how God can use you as you begin to

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spread humility and grace.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. - Matthew 18:1-4

REPENT DAILY! “REPENT, BELIEVE THE GOSPEL, AND FOLLOW JESUS” (REPEAT THIS DAILY). Repent, believe the gospel, and follow Jesus is what starts the Christian life and what grows the Christian life. Start a habit of repenting daily. Each day there’s probably at least 1 way you could repent before God, and likely 1 way you can repent and ask forgiveness from someone in your life. A grace-based identity gives us the safety and freedom to practice daily repentance and enjoy the freedom and fruitfulness that comes with it. Discuss as a group what excites, scares, or confuses you about repenting daily. Discuss how cultivating this habit could be Life-giving for both you and people in your life.

“If you should ask me what are the ways of God, I would tell you that the first is humility, the second is humility, and the third is humility. Not that there are no other precepts to give, but if humility does not preceed all that we do, our efforts are fruitless.”

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Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted. - Luke 18:10-4

SAINT Augustine

“A person with a strong and true sense of identity will experience peace with self, others, and God. This person will have a certain self-forgetfulness, a lack of self absorption and self consciousness. By contrast, the person with a weak sense of identity is painfully concerned with him or herself.”

Dick Keyes

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of enjoying a grace-based identity, freeing us to be a humble people who give grace to others.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 4: Sonship Manual: 3rd edition, World Harvest Mission/Serge Transforming Grace, Jerry Bridges Because He Loves Me, Elyse Fitzpatrick The Crucifixion, Fleming Rutledge The Cross of Christ, John Stott Grace in Practice, Paul Zahl Repentance, Jack Miller Beyond Identity, Dick Keyes The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness, Tim Keller

Part 2: GROW LIFE

“Do you want to become Jesus’ disciple? Repent, believe the gospel, and follow Jesus. Do you want to grow stronger as a disciple of Jesus? Repent, believe the gospel, and follow Jesus.”

Stephen Smallman

PART 2 OF OUR DISCIPLESHIP CULTURE BEGINS WITH THE VERB “GROW.” First we receive, second we grow. Grace is received, then grace grows. God planted new life in our hearts so that it would grow into something more beautiful and big than we can imagine. As our new life in Christ deepens roots below the surface, a strong trunk begins to grow—symbolizing our pursuit of maturity for ourselves and one another. Making disciples is the lifelong journey of maturing disciples. Though you stopped growing physically in your early 20s, we can all continue to grow and help others grow in Christ long into our 100s or however long God gives us on this side of the grave. This is exciting. You don’t have to stay the way you are, you can grow. Your Christian and non-Christian friends don’t have to stay the way they are, God can grow them. The culture around you doesn’t have to stay the way it is, the culture can change—and God can use you to make this happen.

Habit 5: Be the Church GATHER & SCATTER

Western civilization, particularly American culture, is steeped in individualism. By default we approach God, life, and others with an individualistic lens. But following Jesus leads us away from a mere individualistic identity into a corporate identity. We belong. We belong to God and we belong to God’s church. Jesus died for the church, and the local church is his Plan A (there’s no Plan B) for gathering his people and making himself known. To use the metaphor of a wheel: The local church is not one spoke among many spokes in your busy life with you as an individual at the center of the hub. Instead, at the center of the hub is “us”—the local church community—which defines who you are and shapes how you approach the “spokes” of life. We don’t “go to church,” we are the church. Our privilege is to be the church all week long as we both gather and scatter, each of us playing a vital role in contributing to the life of the church.

MEMORIZE

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. - Acts 2:42-47

STUDY AND DISCUSS ACTS 2:1-47, THE BIRTH OF THE CHURCH/THE DAY OF PENTECOST. What role did the Holy Spirit play in establishing the first church, and what role does the Holy Spirit play in churches today? What excites you and challenges you from this chapter about the church? What do verses 42-47 describe about the identity and practice of the first church, and how should this guide the church today? How do verses 42-47 compare or contrast with what you’ve experienced in the church? Why is individualism a hindrance to the biblical vision of the church, and what can we do as a church to overcome this? What is God saying to your Discipleship Group or Life Group? What’s your next step? Also discuss connections between this text and the core book you’re reading.

GATHER. Build a lifetime habit of gathering with the church. Ekklesia, the Greek word we translate as “church,” means “gathered assembly.” The local church is a family God has chosen and gathered to worship him and be the light of the world. There is zero New Testament evidence for a long-ranger disciple. Instead, disciples gather with a local church that faithfully preaches the Scriptures, administers the sacraments of baptism and communion, loves God and one another, practices the priesthood and contribution of each member, is wisely governed by a qualified team of servant hearted male elders, and covenants to belong together. Garden City Church is built upon the rhythm of a weekly Sunday gathering of the whole church family, a regular (generally weekly) Life Group/Discipleship Group gathering of a smaller and more intimate slice of the church family, the self-directed get togethers and meetings that take place within the church, and periodic special events or trainings. Discuss as a group our culture’s trend away from gathering (church “attendance” is on decline in the Western world), how you prioritize gathering with your church family, and any next leadership steps God might be calling you to take to strengthen the gathering culture of our church. May we all become strong “gatherers” in our church and city, reflecting the image of our God who gathers his people together.

“The church lies at the very center of the eternal purpose of God. It is not a divine afterthought. It is not an accident of history. On the contrary, the church is God’s new community. For his purpose, conceived in a past eternity, being worked out in history, and to be perfected in a future eternity, is not just to save isolated individuals and so perpetuate our loneliness, but rather to build his church, that is, to call out of the world a people for his own glory.”

John Stott

CONTRIBUTE AND SERVE—PLAY YOUR ROLE IN OUR CHURCH FAMILY. We belong to each other. We need each other. One of the big recoveries of the Great Reformation was a recovery of “the priesthood of all believers,” the biblical call for every member of the church to contribute to the life and mission of the church. You have a unique role to play in our church body. What role are you playing? What needs are you meeting in our church? What larger role might God be calling you to play—what opportunities could you step into to serve and expand the life of our church? Discuss together, and encourage one another with how you see God at work in each other.

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ…For the body does not consist of one member but of many… God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose…As it is, there are many parts, yet one body…Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

- 1 Corinthians 12 “We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving Him or others. There is no higher calling than to be a servant.” - Nancy Leigh DeMoss

JOIN—BECOME AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF OUR CHURCH FAMILY. If you haven’t done so already, we encourage you to work through our Membership Handbook and consider making an official commitment to join our church family. In our individualistic and transient culture, making this covenant is one of the most countercultural and life-giving decisions you can make. Whether you see yourself here for 30 years or just 3 years, we encourage to make this commitment and be all in with our very special and very imperfect community.

“The community of the saints is not an ‘ideal community’ consisting of perfect and sinless men and women, where there is no need of further repentance. No, it is a community which proves that it is worthy of the gospel of forgiveness by constantly and sincerely proclaiming God’s forgiveness…It is a community of men and women who have genuinely encountered the precious grace of God, and who walk worthy of the gospel.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer 49

SCATTER. See that a main way God uses our church is when we are scattered throughout our city, representing the body of Christ, during the week. In Silicon Valley we spend more of our week scattered, rather than gathered, as a church. Most of our hours are spent in our homes, neighborhoods, workplaces, and schools. This is God’s brilliant design—he’s already put each of us in strategic places throughout our city to represent him as we live our ordinary lives with gospel intentionality, do our work, love people, and step into opportunities he creates for us. You don’t need to come up with a big missional strategy for your life, you already have one. Just steadily share the gospel and your life where God has already put you. Through your walk and your talk, your conduct and your content, God will use you as the scattered church. Church isn’t just about Sunday, it’s also about who we are and what we do on Monday. Discuss as a group how you see God at work through the scattering of our church.

“Most gospel ministry involves ordinary people doing ordinary things with gospel intentionality.” - Tim Chester

BE AN INVITER. CREATE A CULTURE OF INVITING PEOPLE INTO OUR CHURCH FAMILY. The percentage of people who become Christians because a friend, neighbor, or co-worker invited them to church is ridiculously high. God uses invitations. Who do you want to invite to our Sunday service, or into your Life Group or Discipleship Group? How do you want to do this? Discuss and pray through this together. Take action together.

“The church, then, is not something additional or optional. It is at the very heart of God’s purposes. Jesus came to create a people who would model what it means to live under his rule. It would be a glorious outpost of the kingdom of God, an embassy of heaven. This is where the world can see what it means to be truly human…If you warm to this vision of Christian community, then start where you are. Sell the vision by modeling the vision…make community infectious. Create something that other people want to be part of.”

Tim Chester

MEMORIZE

I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of being the church—gathering and scattering as God’s people.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 5: Garden City Church Membership Handbook Outgrowing the Ingrown Church, Jack Miller Simple Church, Thom S. Rainer and Eric Gieger The Church, Edmund P. Clowney Elders and Leaders, Gene Getz On Church Leadership, Mark Driscoll A Meal with Jesus, Tim Chester Seculosity, David Zahl

Habit 6: Love GOD with all your heart Since before the creation of the universe the Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—have delighted in and loved one another. Out of an overflow of this love our relational God created humans. We are created by relationship, for relationship. God created us to love. We are designed to give our first love, our worship, to the only one worthy of it: our Creator, our King, our Lord. But because of the great human problem of sin, we’ve instead chosen to give our first love and worship to false gods—to idols. An idol is anything (even a good thing) that’s more important to you than God (sin is parasitic—sin attaches to something good that God has created and distorts it). Our love of idols dishonors God, enslaves us, and hurts others. Jesus came to set us free from our misdirected loves and empower us to be a people who love God first—with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

MEMORIZE

And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ - Mark 12:28-30

STUDY AND DISCUSS DEUTERONOMY 6:4-9 (THE SHEMA) AND MARK 12:28-34. What are the two different contexts of these two passages? What difference do you notice in how Jesus quotes Deuteronomy 6, and what do you think this is about? Create a list of reasons why you think Jesus calls this the most important commandment of all. Then, create a list of why we often struggle to live our lives in accordance with what’s most important, why we put other loves first. What connections can you make among these passages, your stories that you shared (Habit 3), current events in our culture, and the core book you are reading? What do the last few verses of the Deuteronomy text, Deuteronomy 6:6-9 teach us about discipleship, and what connection do you see here between our main discipleship verse, 1 Thessalonians 2:8?

SEE HUMANS FUNDAMENTALLY AS “LOVERS,” NOT “THINKERS.” Thinking well is incredibly important, but the biblical worldview gives us a richer and deeper portrait of humanity—at our core we are lovers created in the image of a loving God, and what drives and shapes our lives is our loves. Since the European Enlightenment Period’s (17th-18th century) emphasis on reason, Western culture has tended to reduce people to brains only, missing the epicenter of the heart and of love. When you look at another person don’t primarily see a thinker, see a lover whose heart needs to be captured by the Great Lover.

James K.A. Smith

“Every approach to discipleship and Christian formation assumes an implicit model of what human beings are…we have been taught to assume that human beings are fundamentally thinking things… ‘You are what you think’ is a motto that reduces human beings to brains-on-a-stick…Do you ever experience a gap between what you know and what you do? Have you ever found that new knowledge and information don’t seem to translate into a new way of life? …Paul tells us that the place to start is by attending to our loves. There is a very different model of the human person at work here. Instead of the rationalist, intellectualist model that implies ‘You are what you think,’ Paul’s prayer hints at a very different conviction: ‘You are what you love.’ …Discipleship should set us on fire, should change the ‘weight’ of our love…discipleship is a rehabituation of your loves.”

IDENTIFY AND REPENT OF THE CORE IDOL YOU TEND TO LOVE INSTEAD OF GOD. Our biggest problem is not individual sins we commit and bad choices we make, but something deeper: idolatry, worship, misdirected love. It’s because we give our first love, awe, and allegiance to someone or something other than God that we stumble in sin. Everyone has to live for something and if that something isn’t the one true God, it will be a false God–an idol. An idol is anything more important to you than God. Therefore, you can turn even very good things into idols. You can turn a good thing like family, success, acceptance, money, your plans, etc. into a god thing–into something you worship and place at the center of your life. This is what sin is. Sin is building your life and meaning on anything (even a good thing) more than God.

In our church family we talk about 4 root idols that we tend to attach our lives to. As a group, identify which idol you are most prone to worship, share strategies for turning away from this idolatry, make connections to your story (Habit 3), and repent together. Make repenting of idolatry and sin an ongoing habit of your Discipleship Group. • CONTROL You know you have a control idol if your greatest nightmare is uncertainty. • APPROVAL You know you have an approval idol if your greatest nightmare is rejection. • COMFORT You know you have a comfort idol if your greatest nightmare is stress/demands. • POWER You know you have a power idol if your greatest nightmare is humiliation. Here’s what you need to know about your idol: That idol that you love, it doesn’t love you back. False gods don’t love you. Idols don’t keep their promises. Anything you worship and build your life on other than God will suck the life out of you and destroy you. A relationship with Jesus starts when you identify and turn from your idols. Notice what Jesus was always doing with people during his ministry–he was constantly identifying and challenging people’s idols, calling them to turn from their false objects of worship in order to follow and worship him. We’re convinced that the reason there is so much shallow Christianity in our culture is because many people never displace the idolatry in their lives with Jesus, but instead simply bring in Jesus as an “add on” to their life, keeping their idolatry firmly in the center. Americans think freedom is found in casting off all restraint and being masters of our own lives. What we are blind to is the reality that everybody has a master. We all worship something and whatever we worship is our master. Idols make bad masters. They enslave. Until you identify the idols in your life you will feel enslaved, tired, and unhappy and you won’t know why. You will feel this way until you discover the only master who can set you free: Jesus. Jesus is the one master who will love you even when you fail him. Your idols don’t do that. Jesus is the one master who loved you when you were at your worst and who reigns over your life with perfect wisdom, power, and goodness. He’s the one master you can trust. Only he can give you freedom.

Little children, keep yourselves from idols - 1 J o h n 5 : 2 1

“Our idolatries are less like conscious decisions to believe a falsehood and more like learned dispositions to hope in what will disappoint. Our idolatries are not intellectual; they are affective— instances of disordered love and devotion. Idolatry is caught more than taught. We practice our way into idolatries, absorb them from the water in which we swim.”

- James K.A. Smith 55

DISTURB PEOPLE’S IDOLS. Shallow discipleship is a result of people’s root idolatry not being exposed and disturbed. Much of Jesus’ ministry on earth involved radically disrupting what stood at the center of people’s lives, exposing that idols inability to save and satisfy, and showing that only God can fill the God-sized hole in the human heart. Create a culture of disturbing one another’s idols, poking at what has become too important in one’s life and pointing them back towards their proper first love. Jesus did this through conversation (disturbing the money idolatry of the rich young ruler), adventures (disturbing the comfort idolatry of his disciples by leading them into a storm at sea), feasts (disturbing the legalism idolatry of the Pharisees), teaching (telling parables that turned things upside down), etc. Discuss as a group how you can become better idol disturbers. The following questions are great idol disturbers (adapted from Darrin Patrick): • What do I worry about most? • What, if I failed or lost it, would cause me to feel like I didn’t even want to live? • What do I use to comfort myself when things go bad or get difficult? • What do I do to cope? What are my release valves? What do I do to feel better? • What preoccupies me? What do I daydream about? • What makes me feel the most self-worth? Of what am I the proudest? For what do I want to be known? • Early on what do I want to make sure people know about me? • What prayer, unanswered, would make me seriously think about turning away from God? • What do I really want and expect out of life? What would really make me happy?

“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in you.”

- Saint Augustine “…you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God.”

MEMORIZE

- 1 Thessalonians 5:9

We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:19

MEMORIZE

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. - Zepheniah 3:17

BECOME AN OVERFLOWER—ENJOY AND LOVE GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, FOR HE ENJOYS AND LOVES YOU WITH ALL OF HIS HEART. God loves you! He doesn’t love you because he “has to,” out of duty and obligation. God loves to love you, he delights in you, you’re his child and he enjoys you. The more awake we can be to how much God loves us (Habit 4, Enjoying our Grace-Based Identity) the more we find ourselves in awe of God and loving him with all our heart. We are like fountains. God pours his love into us, and it overflows out of us—becoming a love we give back to God and give to our neighbor. You can never go wrong with loving God 100%, because this is what you are created for and what you will spend eternity enjoying and doing. Discuss the verses below and share specific habits you’re trying out that help you live more awake to God’s love and more focused on seeking him first and loving him with all your heart.

“Faith means being pregnant with God’s life, which is divine overflowing life.”

- Peter Kreeft

MEMORIZE

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. - Matthew 6:33

“To encounter God is to change.”

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

REALIZE THAT LOVE IS A VERB, A VERB REQUIRING OUR HEAD, HEART, AND HANDS. Loving God certainly involves our feelings, but generally feelings follow our actions. We don’t feel our way to an action, instead we act (obey) our way to a feeling. As we take action to love God, feelings follow. Our wholistic love for God includes our: • Head: loving God with all our mind, developing a biblical theology and worldview by which to relate to God and engage the world. • Heart: loving God with all our heart and soul, connecting with and giving Jesus his rightful place as Master of our lives and emotions. • Hands: loving God with all our strength and skills, using our strength and abilities to serve God. Discuss as a group which of these (Head, Heart, or Hands) is most undeveloped in your relationship with God, and how you can help one another mature in these areas.

John 15:9-10

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love.”

SING LOUD! Whether gathered as the church in a worship service or scattered as the church and driving alone in your car, whether you have a good voice or a terrible voice, we want to be a church known for singing loud to our great God. Passionate singing is a repeated way the Scriptures call us to respond to the gospel and express our love for God. Lovers sing. God is worthy of our singing—he is glorious, he treats us better than we deserve, and our singing affirms what we believe is true about God. God created us to sing, and perhaps one of the greatest witnesses for God’s existence is a church that sings happy and loud. And, this is practice for heaven where we will spend eternity in ever-increasing, joyful awe and praise of God.

“Love God and do as you please.” Saint Augustine “A Christian should be an alleluia from head to foot.”

MEMORIZE

“Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!” - Psalm 47:1

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of loving God with all our heart, which includes a lifestyle of repenting of idolatry and awakening to how much God first loves and delights in us.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 6: Counterfeit Gods, Tim Keller You Are What You Love, James K.A. Smith Trusting God, Jerry Bridges Garden City Worship Albums Habits of the Mind, James W. Sire Enjoying God, Sam Storms Crazy Love, Francis Chan Delighting in the Trinity, Michael Reeves The Christian Mind, Harry Blamires The Knowledge of the Holy, A.W. Tozer Feelings and Faith, Brian Borgman The God Who Loves You, Peter Kreeft

H a b i t 7 : Love your neighbor as yourself Jesus closely connects our vertical love for God and our horizontal love for one another. Disciples are lovers of God and lovers of people. What made Jesus’ teaching radical in the 1st century and radical today is his call: 1) to love other people with the same level of care we would love ourselves 2) to expand our vision of who our neighbor is, to give costly love to people who inconvenience us and who are different from us. Love is the hallmark trait of disciples of Jesus. Growing here involves growing in self awareness, we must know ourselves better in order to know and love our neighbor better. Life is about loving God and others the best we can.

MEMORIZE

Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.” - Luke 10:36-37

STUDY AND DISCUSS LUKE 10:25-37 What similarities and differences do you see between this text and Mark 12:28-34 (the text for Habit 6)? Why does Jesus put these 2 commands together, how is vertical love for God related to horizontal love for our neighbor? What does it mean to love “your neighbor as yourself”? Describe a time in your life that, out of nowhere, someone showed love and mercy to you and how that impacted you. If Jesus showed up to your Discipleship Group today, how would he retell this parable in your context? Summarize in 1 sentence what this text of Scripture is teaching us. Share specifics as a group about the “neighbors” in your life and opportunities for showing mercy that God might be calling you to walk into.

“All the different obligations expected of a disciple can be summed up in a single word. It is love.”

Stephen Smallman 61

“If we are going to be faithful witnesses to the message and mission of Jesus in vulnerable neighborhoods, we must expand our current paradigm of gospel-centered ministry to make certain that it puts the millions of people surviving on the fringes of our world at the center of our concern, because the margins are at the center of God’s concern.”

- Noel Castellanos

SEEK SELF AWARENESS. To love others well we need to become more self aware. As we discover more about how we are similar to and different from one another, and more of how other people experience us, we’re equipped to love others more thoughtfully and effectively. The following are key categories for seeking self awareness. Secure in your GraceBased Identity (Habit 4), work through these categories as a Discipleship Group, share loving and truthful feedback with one another, and help each other become more self aware disciples of Jesus. • Race. Our race deeply shapes how we see and experience the world, sometimes in ways we’re not aware of. Discuss together your color and culture, and how this influences the way you see and treat others. • Place. Where we grew up and where we live now forms how we love. Explore this as a group. • Socio-Economic Status. Economics is connected to love. Of all the forms of diversity we seek to enjoy as a multi-ethnic church (race, age, etc.), socio-economic diversity is generally the most difficult diversity to form in a church because of how deeply socio-economic status shapes a culture. Discuss and help each other become more self aware here. • Age. God puts us in families and in his multi-generational church so that we can experience and give love in all its richness. How does your age and generation influence how you see the world, and how you give and receive love?

• Personality. God created us different. Each of us are each unique creations who uniquely image God. Becoming more self aware of our personality, how we’re wired and how other people experience us, is a huge component of growing our obedience to Jesus’ call to love. We’ve found the following tools helpful for this self awareness journey. Make use of 1, or all 3, of these tools as a group, and discuss your findings: • The Enneagram: If used rightly as one tool (rather than as a box to put someone in), gives insight into how people are uniquely motivated, one’s true self vs. false self, and how teams best function. We use the Wagner Enneagram Personality Style Scales test: https://www.wepss.com/buy.asp We encourage you to seek out one of the leaders in our church who has received training with the Enneagram to help you in using and interpreting this tool in a Lifegiving way. See also Appendix 3 of The Relational Soul for some introductory guidance, and Marilyn Vancil’s book, Self to Lose Self to Find, for a biblical approach to this tool. • Strengths Finder: Gives insight into what a person is most strong at and gifted to do. • Love Languages: Gives insight into a person’s preferred way of receiving and giving love. • Man or Woman. God created us in his image, male and female. Men and women are very similar and very different. Discuss as a group how you can steward your manhood or womanhood (particularly in our increasingly gender-neutral culture) to the glory of God. We encourage our men to wrestle through the vision of manhood presented in Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, and our women to wrestle through the vision of womanhood presented in Psalm 31 (we’re not yet aware of an excellent book-length treatment of flourishing biblical womanhood for both single and married women to recommend, though God’s Good Design is helpful; let us know of any suggestions you have). • Stage of Life: Single, Married, Widowed, Young Parents, Aging, Divorced, etc. Our different stages of life shape how we function in the body of Christ. Seek greater self awareness together in your stages of life.

MEMORIZE

O LORD, you have searched me and known me! For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! - Psalm 139

DEVELOP AN APPROACH TO OTHER PEOPLE, START BUILDING A HABIT FOR A LIFETIME, OF LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. This is not easy to do, we tend to be more interested in ourselves than in others. But Jesus gives us this command for our own flourishing and the flourishing of others. He wants us to enjoy the freedom of loving other people really well. What’s 1 small action you could begin to take that would help you walk in greater obedience to the second greatest commandment? Perhaps it’s something as simple as imaging yourself in your neighbor’s shoes and then treating that person as well as you’d treat yourself. Discuss ideas and action steps as a group.

“We have literally no time to sit down and ask ourselves whether so-and-so is our neighbor or not. We must get into action and obey—we must behave like a neighbor to him… You can only learn what obedience is by obeying.”

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

LOVE PEOPLE IN WORD AND DEED, IN TALK AND WALK. Some of us are more comfortable loving people with our words, others are more comfortable loving people through service and deed. Jesus models and summons us to a vision that includes both. Discuss as a group your preferred way of receiving and giving love, and where you think this comes from. Share and spur each other on in 1 way your love of neighbor can become more well rounded. Don’t be afraid of God stretching you or calling you to a new risk, this is part of the discipleship adventure and how we grow.

“In the first commandment he focuses the passion to be happy firmly on God and God alone. In the second commandment he opens a whole world of expanding joy in God and says: people, human beings, everywhere you find them, are designed to receive your joy in God. Love them the way you love yourself. Show them, give them—through every practical means available—what you have found for yourself in God.”

John Piper

“Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.” Martin Luther King Jr.

PICK JUST 1 WAY (OR SIMPLY LIVE ALERT TO OPPORTUNITIES GOD GIVES YOU) TO SHOW MERCY TO YOUR NEIGHBOR. Because of the volume of information we’re exposed to everyday most of us feel overwhelmed by the needs of our world and neighbors—poverty, orphans, widows, homelessness, abuse, injustice, racism, hunger, refugees, etc. God doesn’t want us constantly overwhelmed, and we are not expected to meet every need. A healthier approach would be to either: 1) Pick 1 way you are passionate about giving transforming love to your neighbor (serving at a local homeless shelter, caring for a single mom in your neighborhood, etc.) and pour focused, relational, thoughtful energy into that over a long period of time. 2) Or, simply live alert to opportunities God puts in your path, like the Good Samaritan did as he traveled the Jericho Road. Discuss your passions, approaches, and ideas as a Discipleship Group. Is there something God might be calling you to as a group?

MEMORIZE

For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe. He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. Love the sojourner, therefore, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. - Deuteronomy 10:17-19

RUN TO THE TENSION (KEEP SHORT ACCOUNTS). Conflict, miscommunication, sin, and hurt are a normal part of being human, following Jesus, and living in community. One of the best ways we can love each other and keep our church healthy is by “running to the tension.” When significant tension (some tension is wise to overlook, see Proverbs 19:11) arises in a relationship, Garden City’s culture is to run to it—to take timely initiative to move towards the person to address and work through the tension. Sometimes the tension is a big sin or hurt, sometimes we discover it was just a big misunderstanding.

RUN TO THE TENSION (CONTINUED) By running to the tension and keeping short accounts we love our neighbor as ourself, we model the way of Jesus who ran towards the tension of our sin and brokenness, and we keep our community healthy by talking directly to each other (instead of gossiping) and not allowing issues to boil beneath the surface. Conflict is inevitable in the church, and it’s also an opportunity to glorify God and grow. There’s no such thing as a deep, healthy, intimate relationship (or team) without conflict. On the other side of healthy conflict we discover our most intimate relationships. When running to the tension we recommend following “The Four Gs of Biblical Peacemaking.” These are listed briefly below, but we strongly urge you to study pages 24-28 of our Membership Handbook and the short book, Resolving Everyday Conflict, for more detail: • G1: Glorify God—Bringing God into your situation. • G2: Get the Log Out of Your Own Eye—Owning your part of a conflict. • G3: Gently Restore—Helping others own their part of a conflict. • G4: Go and Be Reconciled—Giving forgiveness and arriving at a reasonable solution.

“Conflict is a normal part of life…Peacemaking is applying the gospel and God’s principles for problem solving to everyday life. Peacemaking comes naturally to no one.”

- Ken Sande

WORK ON BEING RECEPTIVE, NOT REACTIVE. There are 2 types of people: Reactive, and Receptive. Reactive people immediately react to feedback, don’t listen, and don’t learn. Receptive people are willing to take things in, listen, consider, reflect, and grow. Because of our deep safety in God’s unconditional love for us, we can become more receptive and curious disciples, eager to learn and grow. Discuss as a group how you typically handle conflict, and how conflict was handled in your family growing up. Discuss what scares and what excites you about running to the tension and the four Gs of biblical peacemaking. Is there any unresolved conflict within your Discipleship Group that you need to run to the tension on? How does practicing this habit of keeping short accounts nurture the health of a church (or any organization)? What stories do you have about enjoying closer relationships, team, and unity on the other side of conflict? Take a moment to pray for this aspect of church life—pray that we’d be a people who handle conflict well and love well.

“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

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If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. - Matthew 18:15-16

C.S. Lewis

DON’T GOSSIP. There’s not much more to say here. Always follow this clear rule of the Scriptures. Gossip is one of the sharpest ways to violate Jesus’ call to love our neighbor as ourselves. We don’t talk behind people’s backs, we talk to each other face to face.

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By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. - John 13:35

DO YOUR BEST TO BE FULLY PRESENT WITH PEOPLE. Giving people our full presence and attention is in rapid decline in our distracted age. One of the most countercultural ways you can love someone today is by being fully present with them. Discuss and work on this as a Discipleship Group. And, remember that this way of relating to people springs from how we relate to God—as we grow more fully present to God we find it natural to be more fully present to other people.

“Wherever you are, be all there.” Jim Elliot

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of loving our neighbor as ourselves.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 7: The Economics of Neighborly Love, Tom Nelson Resolving Everyday Conflict, Ken Sande Ministries of Mercy, Tim Keller Where the Cross Meets the Street, Noel Castellanos A Loving Life, Paul Miller A Cross-Shaped Gospel, Bryan Loritts Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God, J.I. Packer Self to Lose Self to Find, Marilyn Vancil The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman Now, Discover Your Strengths, Marcus Buckingham The Road Back to You, Susan Stabile and Ian Morgan Cron

H a b i t 8 : Desire & Fight Jesus is a radical person. There’s nothing status quo or tame about following Jesus. His call to discipleship is daring, dangerous, dynamic. Jesus isn’t interested in the surface of our lives, he’s interested in the depths of our lives. He’s after our desires—the deep motivations and longings of our heart. If we’re not tapping into desire in our relationships, not awakening and transforming our deep wants, then our discipleship is superficial and will not bear long-term fruit. Our next step is to follow Jesus together in the arena of desire, discover what’s there, be prepared to fight sin and Satan, and take some risks.

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Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “ ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’ ” - Matthew 4:10

STUDY MATTHEW 4:1-11 AND GENESIS 3:1-7. What is Satan doing in these 2 texts? What are the different names used for our Enemy in these 2 texts? What similarities do you see between these narratives that sit at the beginning of the Old Testament and New Testament? What is Satan’s strategy for tempting Eve and Adam, tempting Jesus, and what connections can you make between how the Tempter tempts you? Where do you see an appeal to desire in these texts? How does Jesus fight temptation? What is the result of Jesus’ fight? What additional connections can you make between these chapters of the Bible, the core book you’re reading, and your stories?

“What do you want? -JESUS

“Christianity has nothing to say to the person who is completely happy with the way things are. Its message is for those who hunger and thirst—for those who desire life as it was meant to be.”

John Eldredge 69

AWAKEN DESIRE. To be human is to desire. When we fail to engage our heart’s desire we settle to pay attention to only the surface of our souls. Desire matters to God. The Bible reveals a God who wants to awaken our desire, forming disciples who worship him and enjoy abundant life from a place of desire and delight, instead of duty or drudgery. The problem is that because of desires gone sideways, most Christian community settles for the tame territory of behavior modification. We don’t let one another get away with that. Garden City’s culture is one of learning to awaken, surface, and pay attention to our deep desires so that Jesus can meet us in the deep drive of our heart and form our desires towards what is most Life-giving. To get started with awakening desire, use the question Jesus asks his first disciples in the Gospel of John: “What do you want?” This question is more powerful than it looks. Stay with this question as a Discipleship Group, ask it to one another and see where it takes you. The goal here is to, over time, get more in touch with your deepest desires (even if they are sinful, addictive, messy) so that Jesus is accessing and transforming us at the core of our being and so that we’re tapping the most powerful engine of disciple-making. For example: Say you’re attending to a problem area in someone’s life and they say all the right things about how they will use their willpower to overcome this issue, but they have no desire to change. You can be certain there will be no lasting change in this person’s life, your efforts are just reshuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic before it sinks. True transformation happens at the level of our wants. So, we awaken desire.

C.S Lewis

“The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire. If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord vends our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far to easily pleased”

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Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4

PROCESS YOUR LIMITS AND LOSSES. We are overbuilt for this world. Our God-sized desires will not be fully satisfied this side of the grave. In this fallen world, maturity looks like the ability to come to terms with our limits and losses. Though you may have explored some of this territory with Habit #3 (Story), go deeper now in processing your limits and losses. What desires do you have that are likely to remain unrealized because of your limits and losses? If you have little to share here, know that this is coming. Once someone reaches about age 40 they’ve begun to be slapped in the face with various limits and losses, and whole-hearted discipleship involves processing this.

“To be human is to be for something, directed toward something, oriented toward something. To be human is to be on the move, pursuing something, after something…To be human is to be on a quest…You can’t not bet your life on something.” James K.A. Smith

LIVE PSALMICALLY. The Psalms are one of God’s greatest gifts to his church. For thousands of years God’s people have soaked in and prayed the Psalms, letting the Psalter form their desires and give language to the diverse emotions and seasons of life. The Psalms teach us how to desire, rejoice, suffer, weep, celebrate, lament, trust, complain, process, repent, fight, wait, progress, ask, rest, worship, sing, and hope. Join in with a habit that’s existed among the saints since before the birth of Christ: Live Psalmically—develop a close relationship of listening and talking to God through the Psalms so that you can be a well rounded disciple able to enter into and process all the ups and downs of life. One great way to do this is to follow Garden City’s Word & Prayer Plan, which typically guides you through the entire book of Psalms 1-2x per year.

“The deepest spiritual lessons come through suffering. It takes the deep water and the hot fire and the dark valley to teach us the walk of faith.”

- Elizabeth Elliot

“If you don’t trust God in your suffering you’ll develop a neurosis that’s worse than the suffering. There will never be enough rational clarity to explain suffering.”

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- Rich Plass

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. - Psalm 42:1-2

FIGHT SIN. Though we are justified (Habit #4) and freed from the penalty of sin, and are set free by Jesus and the Holy Spirit to overcome the power of sin, we are not yet free from the presence of sin. Each of us have particular sins (usually stemming from our root idols, see Habit #6) that we struggle with and need to fight. Some of these are sins of commission (something we’re doing), some of these are sins of omission (something we’re not doing and ought to be doing). Discuss together 1 or 2 particular sins God is calling you to fight against, and discuss the strategies you and other Christians throughout history have found effective for fighting sin. How can you lovingly hold one another accountable in your fight against sin?

“Be killing sin or it will be killing you.”

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John Owen

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. - Romans 8:12-13

“Jack saw in his own life that growth in these basics happened only as he admitted every day that he was a desperate sinner in constant need of the grace of God. As he studied what the Bible taught about faith and humility, he understood that repentance is not a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but a whole way of life. It is this life of ongoing repentance that the Spirit will use to bring faith and humility to the heart of the leader…he modeled repentance to young leaders by acknowledging his sins and asking them to pray for him.”

Barbara Miller

FIGHT SATAN. Satan hates God, hates the gospel, hates the church, and hates you. Though God is sovereign and has the ultimate victory over Satan, Satan remains actively at work. In the words of Peter: “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” -1 Peter 5:8. Spiritual warfare is real. We are disciples at war not just with sin, but also with Satan and “the cosmic powers over this present darkness.” Satan is a liar, and he’s been lying to you your entire life. Discuss as a group the ways Satan typically lies, tempts, and attacks you, and discuss your battle plans for putting on the armor of the Lord and fighting Satan.

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. - James 4:7

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Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. - Ephesians 6:10-12

TRUST AND RISK. We see a pattern in Scripture and in our experience that a main way God grows people’s faith is through calling them to step out in faith. Trust in God grows as we choose to live by faith (not sight), to take the risk of stepping out into new territory where we are 100% dependent on God to come through. God calls us to these next steps of faith by appealing to a desire to trust him wholeheartedly and give ourselves to what most glorifies him. Discuss as a group where God is calling you towards deeper trust and fresh risk, and where you see God doing this with his people in Scripture. What’s 1 risk you could take this week to demonstrate your trust in God? A simple and stretching way to keep your adventure with God fresh is to take 1 risk each week or each day. Try it out. Make a habit of it. Imagine how God could use such a community of dependent risk-takers for his glory! 73

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Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. - Hebrews 11:1, 6, 8

“F.A.I.T.H. a Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him.” Corrie Ten Boom

BE FAMILY, HOSPITAL, AND ARMY AS THE CHURCH. Hold together 3 metaphors for the church. The church is Family: we are relational—we belong to one another and know & love each other as family. The church is also Hospital: we are redemptive—we provide a place for hurting people to heal. And the church is Army: we are missional—we are a band of brothers and sister on a mission, at war, fighting an enemy, advancing the Kingdom. Healthy disciples and churches hold these metaphors in balance. Discuss how this 8th Habit emphasizes “Army” yet still touches on all 3 of these dimensions of being the church, and take action as a Discipleship Group to be Family, Hospital, and Army together.

M a r t i n “Faith is taking the first step even you can’t see the whole L u t h e r when staircase.” King Jr. 74

“Go forward in every part of your ministry. Act like a courageous person even when you may not feel like one. In anyplace where you feel fear, plunge in.”

- Jack Miller

“The vast majority of the Bible was written by people facing significant danger and chaos.”

- Michael Frost & Alan Hirsch

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of desiring, fighting, and risking.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 8: The Journey of Desire, John Eldredge The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis You Are What You Love, James K.A. Smith Killing Us Softly, Efrem Smith Be Still My Soul, Elizabeth Elliot The Expulsive Power of a New Affection (sermon), Thomas Chalmers From Fear to Freedom, Rose Marie Miller

Part 3: GIVE LIFE

“You’ve got to use the life you’ve been given to give others life.”

- Ann Voskamp

“A barren Christian is a contradiction. A tree is known by its fruit.”

- Robert Coleman

PART 3 OF OUR DISCIPLESHIP CULTURE BEGINS WITH THE VERB “GIVE.” First we receive, second we grow, third we give. Grace is received, then grace grows, then grace gives. God planted new life in our hearts so that we would grow deep & wide—to mature us into disciples with branches that stretch wide, bear fruit, and give Life to others. As we receive Life from God, we overflow with Life to give away. Our diverse family of uniquely gifted image-bearers of God form the fruitful branches of Garden City. In a city of taking, we’re here to give. We’re leaders who initiate and innovate to give our talents, time, and treasure to make our church and city better. Jesus leads us on a countercultural path where giving away our lives is how we come to truly find and enjoy our lives.

H a b i t 9 : Lead WORK & REST

We define leadership as “taking initiative for the benefit of others.” God created us to lead. Central to our discipleship is getting clarity about the talents God’s entrusted to us, thinking through how to wisely steward and be fruitful with what God has given us. The primary way we express this is through our work and our rest. Jesus cares very much about the work we do, how we do it, and why we do it; and he wants us to also care very much about our work and our rest and how it influences the common good. One of the very first things we learn about God on the very first pages of the Bible is that he is a worker, he values rest, and he created us male and female in his image to work and rest.

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Calling ten of his servants, he gave them ten minas, and said to them, ‘Engage in business until I come.’ - Luke 19:13

STUDY LUKE 19:11-27 AND GENESIS 1:16-2:25. What is Jesus teaching in this parable? What is God teaching us in the creation narrative and what connections can you see with the parable of the ten minas? What do we learn from these texts about the purpose of our existence, stewardship, leadership, work, and rest? How would you articulate the difference between a biblical vision for work and rest, and the way popular culture talks about work and rest? Describe what was modeled and taught to you growing up about work and rest and how this does or doesn’t align with what you’re learning from Scripture, our church, and the core book you’re reading.

“The ten minas represented the measure of ‘capital’ that Christ invests in each believer’s life. In addition to one’s natural talents, abilities, interests, and temperament, Christ endows believers with his Spirit, spiritual gifts (1 Cor. 12), and ‘every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places’ (Eph 1:3). These are not gifts to be squandered, hoarded, or used to boost our own egos. They are given as resources to be invested and used in the expansion of his kingdom. After he gave the ‘capital,’ Christ issued a command: in Greek the command is pragmateuomai. It means “trade,” “do business,” or “occupy.” The word is used only here in the New Testament. The English word pragmatic is related to this Greek word…The task given by Christ to his disciples is very basic: it is to pragmatically use the natural and spiritual capital he has given us to engage our cultures and world for Christ and his kingdom. He has capitalized each of us to make a unique contribution to the present advancement of his kingdom. Our call is to be creative, practical, industrious, energetic, active, and diligent with the ‘captial’ he has given us.”

Darrow Miller

GET CLEAR ON THE “MINAS” (TALENTS, CAPITAL, GIFTS) GOD HAS ENTRUSTED TO YOU. Discuss as a group the core gifting and opportunity God has given to and what you think he’s uniquely put you on this earth to do. Draw from the discoveries you’ve made about one another throughout this guidebook. Encourage and affirm the gifting of God and the good stewardship of that gifting that you see in each other. Lovingly challenge one another if you see a squandering, burying, or abusing of the “capital” our King has given. See if you could summarize in a sentence or two the

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capital and the calling God has given you.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. - Ephesians 2:8-10

“You were made for God, not vice versa, and life is about letting God use you for his purpose, not your using him for your own purpose.”

- Rick Warren

“God does not need your good works, but your neighbor does.”

- Martin Luther

ENJOY THE MASTER/SERVANT RELATIONSHIP. Our texts above, Genesis 2 and Luke 19, articulate the Master/Servant Relationship, where God is the Master and we are the servant. God’s job is to be God, our job is to simply be human. Much of where we go wrong in our leadership and our work is through a confusion of this relationship. We are not expected to be God, to be king of things and responsible for everything. Our job is to simply be a faithful and obedient servant. Our King is in charge and gives us our resources and calling, our job is to simply be faithful and obedient—to steward well what’s been entrusted to us. Repent together of how we get this relationship sideways.

“I want to live in such a way that, if it is only twenty-nine more days or twenty-nine more weeks, or if it is twentynine more years or more, I want to faithful with each one of those—that I could go and meet the Lord without regrets, without unfinished business.” Nancy Leigh DeMoss

DISCERN THE 3 ASPECTS OF A CALLING. Getting greater clarity about calling typically involves 3 aspects: 1)

Affinity:

Do you desire to do this?

Ability:

Are you skilled to do this?

Opportunity:

Do you have an opportunity to do this?

All 3 of these aspects need to line up to solidify one’s calling. For example, if you’re feeling called to be a chef because you have the affinity for it (#1) and an opportunity to do it (#3), but all of your friends can’t stand your cooking (lack of Ability, #2), then working as a chef is probably not a great fit for you. Discuss as a group how these 3 aspects of calling do or don’t line up with your current work life, and next steps God might be calling you to take. Recall that being the church involves both gathering and scattering, and that we spend most of our week “being the church” on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Satruday in our workplaces and neighborhoods. Do you have a big-umbrella sense of calling that encapsulates what you do all week long in your workplace and in your neighborhood?

“Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself.”

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Charles Drew

“The question I must ask as I consider a career in banking is the same question I must ask as I consider a career as a missionary: Where, Lord, can I best discover you and serve people? And the question I must ask as I volunteer at church is the same one I must ask as I change a diaper or prepare a report at work: Is God my joy as I work?”

DISCERN YOUR TENDENCY TO UNDERWORK OR OVERWORK. People have a tendency either towards underwork (laziness, making an idol of comfort) or overwork (making an idol of work). Share your work tendencies as a group, repent of any sin, and share how you can spur each other on to greater maturity and fruitfulness in your work.

“The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Frederick Buechner

LEAD! We see “disciple” as nearly synonymous with “leader.” Our leader, Jesus, “takes initiative for the benefit of others” and we do the same. We don’t sit around as passive spectators of life, we’re leaders who can initiate and innovate to make things better. Where in your work life or civic life is God showing you a new opportunity to step forward and lead? Discuss as a group. And discuss your leadership styles, and what you’re learning from one another about how you want to grow as a leader.

“The world is desperately seeking someone to follow. That they follow someone is certain, but will that person be one who knows the way of Christ?”

- Robert Coleman

“There are many things in life you ‘can do’ for God. And the more success you have, the more opportunities will come. (You will know more people, you will have more resources, etc.) But most opportunities are distractions in disguise. Therefore, find the one thing you ‘must do’ for God.”

- HOWARD HENDRICKS

DO 4 THINGS WITH MONEY. One of the reasons we work is to earn money. There are 4 things we can do with money, all of which are important. Discuss as a group what your current habits are with money, which of these 4 habits you are determined to develop this year, and how these 4 habits are interconnected: 1)

Save money

Spend money

Give money

Invest money

“Jesus talked much about money. Sixteen of the thirty-eight parables were concerned with how to handle money and possessions. In the Gospels, an amazing one out of ten verses (288 in all) deal directly with the subject of money.”

REST (SABBATH) DAILY, WEEKLY, AND ANNUALLY. God commands us to rest. If we’re not resting well, we’re disobeying God and missing out on one of his greatest gifts to us. On the first pages of our Bible we encounter God himself living a rhythm of work and rest, and then soon calling us to live this same rhythm. One of the most compelling ways we can demonstrate the gospel to our overworked/work-worshipping city and one of the most tangible ways we can prove to ourselves that we actually believe the gospel is through rest. When we believe we are unconditionally loved and that God is sovereign and has things under control, we enter into rest. When we don’t believe this, we keep working…often as a way to justify ourselves, earn our identity, or try to be God of our lives. We must continually repent of this restlessness, and discipline ourselves to enjoy God’s call to rest. It takes a lot of faith to rest. Discuss as a group why you sometimes lack the faith to rest. • Rest daily. Set aside part of each day to rest, “turn off ”, be still and know that God is God. • Keep a weekly Sabbath. “Sabbath” means to “stop.” God gave us the life-giving rhythm of setting aside 1 day of the week to stop, not work, rest, play and pray, and get in deeper touch with God’s grace and providence. Keeping a weekly sabbath is an act of obedience, and it’s probably one of the most life-giving habits you can practice in our overworked world. Share your sabbath-keeping habits as a group and hold each other accountable to enjoying this rest. • Rest annually. Plan strategic time annually to rest, reset, and vacation. God called the nation of Israel to observe various annual feasts and times of rest, and Jesus himself often retreated for rest. If the Son of God needed rest, surely we do to. • Recognize seasons. Sometimes we enter into seasons of very demanding work, very high stress, and very long hours. That’s okay, that can be the nature of work for farmers, tech workers, and stay-at-home moms. The key is the word “season.” One can work an exceptionally demanding schedule for a season, but not forever. Recognize the season you’re

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in and what a healthy work & rest rhythm ought to look like for your particular season.

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. - Exodus 20:8-11

“To practice Sabbath is a disciplined and faithful way to remember that you are not the one who keeps the world running.” Tim Keller

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY—RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR BODY NEEDS SPACE AND PACE FOR TRANSFORMING LEADERSHIP. Everything’s connected—our mind, heart, and body. Your body is constantly talking to you—that tight jaw, knot in your stomach, or achy exhaustion is sending you a message that you need to learn to listen to. Christianity places incredible emphasis on the human body (at the center of our faith is the Incarnate Son of God, and the resurrection of the body). Develop a habit of listening to what your body is saying to you. Discuss as a group how you’re learning to do this. And, recognize that to truly process all we’re experiencing and learning in life, to have our hearts and minds and ways of leadership truly transformed, we need space and a slowed down pace. We must find ways to get space away from our normal stimuluses, slow things down, listen to our bodies, and deeply process all the Lord is forming in us. Talk about and practice these things as a Discipleship Group.

“We cannot separate what it means to be human from our bodies. If we separate Jesus from a human body our faith falls apart. If we separate ourselves from our body we fall apart. Our bodies are integral to who we are…When we are alienated from our bodies we are alienated from ourselves. Use your body in connecting with God. Your body lives in the present, where parts of your brain can live in the future.”

Rich Plass

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:28-30

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MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of leading well through our work and our rest.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 9: Life Work, Darrow Miller The Heart of a Servant Leader, Jack Miller and Barbara Miller Chapter 8 of The Big Story, Justin Buzzard God At Work, Gene Veith Strong and Weak, Andy Crouch The Life of Manny, Ray East A Journey Worth Taking, Charles Drew Finding a Job You Can Love, Mattson & Miller The Sabbath, Abraham Heschel The Rest of God, Mark Buchanan Deep Work, Cal Newport The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey Leading Change, John P. Kotter

H a b i t 1 0 : Give Thanks, Be Joyful, Give Glory Three Greek words that feature prominently in the New Testament are very closely related: “charis” (grace), “eucharisteo” (give thanks), “chara” (joy, happiness). Experiencing the grace of God gives us thousands of reasons to give thanks to God, which gives us joy and gives God glory. Written in 1647, the Westminster Shorter Catechism famously asks and answers: “What is the chief end of man? Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever.” We like to nuance this answer by saying: “Man and Woman’s chief end is to glorify God by enjoying him and his gifts forever.” In our entitled, unhappy, self-centered generation we have a huge opportunity to point people to God through our enjoyment of God and the abundant life he gives us, which gives him so much glory.

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Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

STUDY JOHN 15:1-17, 1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-19, AND PHILIPPIANS 4:4-7. What do these 3 texts teach us about grace, intimacy with God, gratitude, joy, prayer, and God’s will? What indicatives (The indicative mood is a verb form used to make factual statements) and what imperatives (The imperative mood is a verb form that makes a request or a command) stand out in the these passages? Discuss together where you’re at in your discipleship as it relates to these texts and this habit, and share any connections you can make with the core book you’re reading.

“What do you have that you did not receive?” 1 Corinthians 4:7

“It’s habits that can imprison you and it’s habits that can free you. But when thanks to God becomes a habit— so joy in God becomes your life.” Ann Voskamp

GIVE THANKS—CULTIVATE A HABIT OF GRATITUDE. Loving God, obeying God, loving your neighbor, giving thanks to God, and everything Jesus has been summoning us to through this guidebook is a call to new habits—to a new way of walking that is in line with our new identity as sons and daughters of the Father. One of the most important habits we can cultivate is giving thanks to God. Before talking about this habit, practice this habit together. Take the next 5, 10, or 15 minutes as a Discipleship Group to praise God, to give him thanks for everything you can think of. You can thank God for who he is. You can thank God for his grace. You can thank God for his providence, his promises, the many gifts and blessings he’s given you, the breakfast you ate this morning, the big prayer he just answered, etc… Once you’ve given thanks together, discuss what you’re finding helpful for building a lifetime habit of giving thanks. What would it look like for you to create a stronger culture of gratitude among your Discipleship Group, and to spread that culture in our church and city?

“I am filled with gratitude for my problems. As I study the Scriptures I realize that where there were problems, there were also God’s miracles.”

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- Joshua Choonmin Kang

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! - Psalm 118:1

“Gratitude is not only a response to God in good times—it’s ultimately the very will of God in hard times. Gratitude isn’t only a celebration when good things happen. It’s a declaration that God is good no matter what happens.”

Ann Voskamp

BE JOYFUL/BE HAPPY—MAKE CHOICES THAT CULTIVATE A HABIT OF HAPPINESS. Everybody on the planet is seeking happiness. This deep desire is a good thing, part of being created in the image of a happy God. But most people are seeking happiness from the wrong source, from idols and false gods. As disciples we know the life, love, goodness, care, and joy of the living God, we are invited (and commanded!) by God to be a joyful people whose thoughts, emotions, and faces speak to the abundant life we have in God. The Bible calls us deeper into this lifestyle of joy regardless of our personality, temperament, temptations, or past. Through our unique personalities and stories God can display different flavors of joy. Discuss as a group your journey with joy and what you’re finding helpful for building a habit of happiness. Interact with the suggestions and quotes below. • Don’t wait to be happy. God calls us to a joy that is bigger than our circumstances. As Randy Alcorn says (read his book recommended at the end of this chapter!), “Anyone who waits to be happy will never be happy.” Choose right now to be happy in God and in this day that he has made for you. • Make choices that cultivate joy. We can choose joy. “Rejoice” is a verb. Pay attention to the choice you make and how they help or hinder joy. Both joy and joylessness are states of mind that self-perpetuate. • Repent your way to happiness. Often the fastest way to happiness is through repentance—repenting of our self focus, or our ingratitude, or our forgetting of God, or whatever it might be. • Hang out with happy people. Joyful people will rub off on you, hang out with them. • Obey your way to happiness. God’s commands aren’t burdensome, they are the commands of a loving Father who wants to guide us into abundant life and joy. • Live with an eternal perspective. Your life on this earth is very short. That “thing” you’re letting get in the way of experiencing joy right now is a minuscule speck on the horizon of eternity. Put things in eternal perspective. • Take a year to study everything the Bible has to say about joy, happiness, laughter, gratitude, praise, delight, celebration, feasts, dancing, singing, gladness, and making merry.

Ann Voskamp

“Being joyful isn’t what makes you grateful. Being grateful is what makes you joyful.”

“Joy…is characterized by a quietude that is the opposite of anxiety—the exhale of someone who has been holding her breath out of fear or worry or insecurity. It is the blissful rest of someone who realizes she no longer has to perform; she is loved. We find joy in the grace of God precisely because he is the one we don’t have to prove anything to.”

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- James K.A. Smith

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.Psalm 16:11

“According to my judgement the most important point to be attended to is this: above all things see to it that your souls are happy in the Lord. Other things may press upon you, the Lord’s work may even have urgent claims upon your attention, but I deliberately repeat, it is of supreme and paramount importance that you should seek above all things to have your souls truly happy in God Himself! Day by day seek to make this the most important business of your life. This has been my firm and settled condition for the last five and thirty years. For the first four years after my conversion I knew not its vast importance, but now after much experience I specially commend this point to the notice of my younger brethren and sisters in Christ: the secret of all true effectual service is joy in God, having experimental acquaintance and fellowship with God Himself.”

George Muller

“A study indicates that children laugh an average of four hundred times daily, adults only fifteen. So what happens between childhood and maturity that damages our capacity for happiness?”

- Randy Alcorn

“The people of God ought to be the happiest people in all the wide world! People should be coming to us constantly and asking about the source of our joy and delight.”

- A .W. T o z e r

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This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. - Psalm 118:24

GIVE GLORY TO GOD—CULTIVATE A LIFESTYLE OF GLORIFYING GOD IN ALL THAT YOU DO BY ENJOYING GOD AND HIS GIFTS. The reason God created the universe and created you is for his glory. The purpose of the tallest mountain ranges, the purpose of your life, and the purpose of our church is to glorify God. To glorify God is to ascribe worth, weight, worship, honor, and awe to God. And Scripture teaches that the way we do that is not through sitting in an eternal church service, but through keeping God’s glory as our chief aim in all that we do—writing an email, washing the dishes, starting a company, having a difficult conversation, exercising, eating dinner, experiencing disappointment, filing taxes, making a purchase, listening to a sermon, making a big decision or a little decision, talking to a stranger, etc. We give God glory in whatever we do as we find our ultimate joy in him and the many undeserved gifts he’s given us. Our mission statement is “Depending on God to grow disciples deep & wide for God’s glory”—another way to word it would be “Delighting in God to grow disciples deep & wide for God’s glory.” Discuss as a Discipleship Group the various “glories” you can be tempted to live for, and the various glories popular culture is championing right now. How can we keep a vision for the glory of God uppermost in our lives, our relationships, and our church? What are some specific practices that you’re finding helpful for enjoying and glorifying God in all you do? The following 3 questions are a helpful framework for evaluating anything related to your life as a disciple/leader. Talk through these questions together as it related to living with God’s glory as the main motivation of your life: 1) What do you need to start doing? 2) What do you need to stop doing? 3) What do you need to keep doing?

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So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. - 1 Corinthians 10:31

“God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.”

- John Piper

HAVE FUN! It’s fun to be a Christian. Don’t forget that. Take God seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Having fun is a great way to glorify God, to enjoy the life God has given you, and to point people toward the creator of fun: God.

“It’s fun to be a Christian.” Jack Miller

“Our happiness makes the gospel contagiously appealing; our unhappiness makes it alarmingly unattractive.” Randy Alcorn

“The glory of God is a human being fully alive.” Saint Irenaeus

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Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory. - Psalm 118:24

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of giving thanks, being joyful, and glorifying God in all that we do.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 10: Happiness, Randy Alcorn One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp Spirituality of Gratitude, Joshua Choonmin Kang Desiring God and When I Don’t Desire God, John Piper The Pleasures of God, John Piper He Has Made Me Glad, Ben Patterson

“For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

AubreY Johnson 94

Romans 15:4-6

“Whenever two people come in contact with each other, they will never be the same. After any encounter, they leave either more encouraged or more discouraged. The good news is that you can consciously choose the impact you will have on those with whom you spend time…Nothing is more fun than encouraging others.”

H a b i t 1 1 : Encourage Have you ever had a day in your life where you felt too encouraged, where you received so much encouragement you had to tell people to stop encouraging you? Nope. Most people encounter a daily dose of bad news, difficulty, critique, negativity, and discouragement instead of encouragement. One of the most powerful and overlooked commands in Scripture is to “encourage one another.” When you encounter an encourager, or a group of people creating a culture of encouragement, great things can happen: wounds can be healed, courage can be stoked, identities can be strengthened, spiritual attack can lessen, new risks for the Kingdom can be taken, breakthroughs can occur, and God can be glorified. Though we must “run to the tension” with one another (see Habit #7) from time to time, the dominant and daily note of how we communicate is marked by encouragement and building one another up.

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Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. - 1 Thessalonians 5:11

STUDY AND DISCUSS 2 CHRONICLES 32:1-8, ROMANS 15:1-7, AND 1 THESSALONIANS From 2 Chronicles 32: What impact did Hezekiah’s encouraging words have on the people of Judah? How would you define encouragement from this text? From Romans 15: What conclusions can we draw from the fact that the Bible is referred to as “the encouragement of the Scriptures” and God is referred to as “the God of encouragement”? How does this text add to your definition of encouragement and how it functions for God’s people? From 1 Thessalonians 5: How does this text further sharpen what encouragement is and what encouragement does? Brainstorm as a group a 1-2 sentence definition of encouragement.

BECOME AN ENCOURAGER, DEVELOP A HABIT OF ENCOURAGING 3 PEOPLE EVERY DAY. Don’t wait around for other people to encourage you, instead create a culture of encouragement in your home, church, neighborhood, workplace, etc. by encouraging others. A simple, challenging, but doable goal could be to encourage 3 people each day. The more you do this the more you’ll enjoy this, the more you’ll see God do new things, and the more you’ll be living out Jesus’ commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. Encouragement is putting lighting in someone’s veins—it’s helping someone see more of how God is at work, more of who they are, and more of their God-given potential. According to Hebrews 3:13, daily encouragement helps us fight sin. Whether offering a small comment or big dose of encouragement, you never know how God might use your words to positively change the trajectory of someone’s

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day, year, or life.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. - Hebrews 3:13

“The average human tongue is only 10 centimeters long, yet what damage can be done with the tongue!…Our words have within them the power to bring absolute death and darkness to others. But our words also have the power to bring life and light. The tongue is powerful. How will we use it?”

- Mark Hallock

BUILD PEOPLE UP PRIVATELY AND PUBLICLY. BUILD PEOPLE UP THROUGH WORD AND DEED. Sometimes it’s most powerful to encourage privately, sometimes it’s best to encourage and honor publicly. Use both methods. Most encouragement comes through words (spoken or written), but sometimes the best way you can encourage someone is through deed: through an act of service, through simply showing up and being present, through listening. Use both methods, word and deed, to encourage.

“Speech that heals is like a life-giving tree, but a perverse tongue breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4

NAME ONE ANOTHER AS A WAY TO ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER. Naming is powerful. Throughout Scripture we see new names given to people as a significant marker in their journey. Names still function powerfully in our culture—we assign new names or nick-names to people as a way to more clearly capture who they are, what they do, and what they mean to us. As you’ve made it this far in your discipleship journey and are nearing “graduation,” you’ve come to more deeply know one another. God has put you in a position to prayerfully, thoughtfully speak a name over one another that can give great encouragement and clarity. Take time to pray and ponder over this: How do you see God uniquely at work in x’s life? What is really special about x? What name is God giving us to give to x that would be most Life-giving/encouraging/healing/transforming for them? Devote time in your Discipleship Group to speak these names over one another. You might want to save this for part of a graduation ceremony under Habit #12.

“What motivates people isn’t evaluation and critique, but affirmation and praise. The gospel gives us this. With your kids you’re better off going into the ditch of grace (let them know you crazy love them) then the ditch of anxiety and evaluation.”

Rich Plass

“And he said to him, ‘What is your name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ Then he said, ‘Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.’”

Genesis 32:27-28 “Human growth requires encouragement. Homes, businesses, schools, and churches cannot reach their full potential without it.” Aubrey Johnson 97

CREATE A RULE OF LIFE. Throughout church history many saints have benefitted from creating and following “A Rule of Life.” A Rule of Life is a simple, intentional guide for how you can best flourish as a disciple—guardrails to uniquely guide you in loving God and loving people. From this journey you’ve received greater God awareness, greater self awareness, and great encouragement. You know yourself better, you know the key truths to believe and habits to practice that keep you centered on God and fulfilling the purpose he has for your life. A Rule of Life can be a few sentences long, or can be a page or two long. Some personalities will thrive with a very detailed Rule, others will thrive with just a sentence of two that provides overarching structure for one’s day and life, and some will fall somewhere in-between. To get started, examine Rules of Life that other people have created. You can start with chapter 10 of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality to learn more, then you might want to google “Rule of Life”. Once you’ve done some research, create a Life-giving Rule of Life for yourself, and share these together as a Discipleship Group. That process will further sharpen your Rule. View this as a constantly changing document, something you tweak 1-2x a year, or in different seasons of life, as you move along in the adventure of discipleship.

Mark Hallock

“Encouragement is more caught than taught. When you’re around encouraging people and watch them loving others and building others up, you’re drawn to it, and you catch it.”

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of encouragement.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 11: The Barnabas Factor, Aubrey Johnson What Really Matters, Bill Wellons The Relentless Encourager, Mark Hallock & Scott Iken Practicing Affirmation, Sam Crabtree Seeing With New Eyes, David Powilson Chapter 10 of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero

H a b i t 1 2 : Multiply SEEK THE WELFARE OF THE CITY

Jesus saved us to send us. Right from the start Jesus’s call to follow him was for the purpose of fishing for him. We are disciples making disciples, we are followers and fishers. Discipleship was never exclusively about us, but about a much larger adventure and mission of making God’s glory known through the timeless method of making, maturing, and multiplying more disciples of Jesus. Thus, this discipleship journey comes to a graduation and transition point that is celebratory, difficult, and thrilling as you multiply Jesus’ movement. Some of you will continue together by pulling some new people into your group, others of you will continue together by being sent out (ideally as a group of 2, we see a biblical pattern of people being sent in groups of 2) to multiply this group—planting a new Discipleship Group that will give Life to others.

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As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. - John 17:18

STUDY JOHN 17 AND JEREMIAH 29:1-7. John 17 is a long, beautiful prayer by Jesus that gives us deep insight into the heart of God and his disciple-making mission. Take extended time to discuss and pray through this prayer together. What do you see and learn here about the heart of God, the Trinity, relationships, doctrine, disciple-making, sending and multiplication, danger to look out for, mission, etc.? What connections do you see between John 17 and God’s instructions to his exiled people in Jeremiah 29? What connections do you see among these texts, the core book you’ve read throughout this journey, and with what God has done with your Discipleship Group?

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Plant gardens…multiply there, and do not decrease. Seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you…and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare. - Jeremiah 29

Robert Coleman

“It all comes back to his disciples. They were the vanguard of his enveloping movement. ‘Through their word’ he expected others to believe in him (John 17:20), and these in turn to pass the word along to others, until in time the world might know who he was and what he came to do (John 17:21, 23). His whole evangelistic strategy—indeed the fulfillment of his very purpose in coming into the world, dying on the cross, and rising from the grace—depended on the faithfulness of his chosen disciples to this task. It did not matter how small the group was to start with so long as they reproduced and taught their disciples to reproduce. This was the way his church was to win—through the dedicated lives of those who knew the Savior so well that his Spirit and method constrained them to tell others. As simple as it may seem, this was the way the gospel would conquer. He had no other plan.”

GRADUATE. BRING THIS DISCIPLESHIP GROUP JOURNEY TO A CELEBRATORY ENDING & SENDING POINT. It’s important to mark important occasions. You’ve spent 6-12 months following Jesus and fishing for Jesus together, now it’s time to graduate so that you can multiply. Jesus’ “graduation ceremony” with his disciples was the Last Supper. Dream up a special graduation ceremony for your group. You may want to include the naming exercise from Habit #11 as part of this. Perhaps you want to hold a big feast. Perhaps you want to mark the moment by anointing one another’s heads with oil, washing feet, or going back to the place where this journey first began. Take extended time to thank and praise God for everything he’s done throughout this journey. Whatever you do, put intentionality and celebration into this moment. Consider taking pictures for memories sake, and perhaps to share with our entire church family to spur us all

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on in this disciple-making mission.

You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. - 2 Timothy 2:1-2

“In each stage of life and each stage of faith something will have to die before we can experience true growth. We must subject ourselves to both a natural and a supernatural pruning…The model for transition is found in Christ’s passion. Jesus was alive to life. Then he surrendered and died to that life. Then he was raised to a newness of life.”

Rich Plass 100

MULTIPLY! Now that you’ve practiced the habit of graduation, it’s time to practice the habit of multiplication. You’ve been praying about and planning for this since the beginning (ever since you wrote out your plan in Habit #1), now it’s time to get final clarity on your plan and to actually multiply. Send out (never say “split” or “separate,” we don’t accidentally split or separate, we intentionally “send”) the 1 or 2 (sending in 2s is ideal) people you and the Lord have selected to start a new Discipleship Group that will one day start another Discipleship Group. See the big difference between addition and multiplication. Addition is simply making 1 disciple or starting 1 Discipleship Group. Multiplication is making a disciple who will make a disciple (see 2 Timothy 2:1-2 on previous page), multiplying a group that will multiply another group, planting a church that plants a church that will plant another church, etc. Walter Henrichsen illustrates the process of multiplication: Suppose a father offers his two sons the choice of taking either 1 dollar a week for 52 weeks, or 1 cent the first week and an amount that multiplies (doubles) each week for the next 51 weeks. The 1st choice would just be adding 1 dollar each week – that’s linear growth. At the end of 52 weeks he’d have $52. The 2nd choice is multiplication—exponential growth. The son who chooses this will have an unbelievable amount of money at the end of the year. His allowance in the 52nd week (not the total amount accumulated over 52 weeks) would be $22,517,998,136,852.48. Initially the multiplication is slow, but don’t let that deceive you. In the long run, addition never keeps pace with multiplication. Multiplication is explosive! Another example: Suppose you start with a checkerboard of 64 squares. On the first square you place one grain of wheat. On the second square you place two grains, and on the third square you place four grains. How much wheat would you have to place on the last square if you continue doubling each succeeding square? It would take enough wheat to cover India to a depth of fifty feet. Jesus’ method of multiplication is powerful! GROWTH BY ADDITION

GROWTH BY MULTIPLICATION

128

256

512

1,024 2,048 4,096 8,192 16,384

32,76865,536131,072262,144524,288

1,048,5762,097,1524,194,3048,388,60816,777,216

33,554,43267,108,864134,217,728 268,435,456

536,870,912

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As you multiply, keep these best practices in mind: • Seek the welfare of the city. Be asking God where/with whom you can multiply and plant a new Discipleship Group that would best seek the welfare of the city. • When people move away from Silicon Valley/Garden City we deeply miss them, but also learn to see this as a win—it’s God furthering our mission to multiply disciples. Whether someone is part of our church and city for 30 or 3 years, we want God to grow these discipleship habits in them so that if God does move them to a new place we can see that they’ve left our church and city better than they found it and we can be confident that their new church and city will be richly blessed as they continue our disciple making movement there. God has put us in a strategic part of the world to send people out to places that were never on our radar for fulfilling the Great Commission. The Spirit calling people to stay here for 30 years, and the Spirit calling people to move away from here after 3 years can both be successful outcomes of our mission to grow disciples deep & wide. • Practice urgency. Martin Luther suggested the church should live as if Jesus died yesterday, rose from the dead today, and is coming back tomorrow. Let’s live like this! Jesus might come back tomorrow. Heaven and hell are at stake. Let’s multiply disciples and make an eternal dent in people’s lives. Making disciples is one of the very few things you get to do now, but that you don’t get to do in heaven! Let’s give our all to this exciting mission that Jesus has given to us right now. When you’re on your deathbed your best memories and stories will be about relationships, disciple-making, sharing the gospel and your life with people, and the big ways God showed up. • Plan for connection and reunion. As we send people out to multiply groups (or churches) we feel the loss of not seeing them as often as before. Hopefully we’re still seeing each other a lot on Sundays and spontaneous get togethers, but be intentional about scheduling times of reunion and connection. Consider 1x a quarter or 2x a year gathering all the people/Discipleship Groups you’ve sent out for an evening of food and fellowship and storytelling.

“The Christian faith was birthed by men and women with an appetite for risk, and a daring belief in the supreme adventure of Christian mission.” - Michael Frost & Alan Hirsch

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“We sometimes like to comfort ourselves by imagining that the ambitious are prideful and arrogant so that those of us who never risk, never aspire, never launch out into the deep get to wear the moralizing mantle of humility. But this imagining is often just thin cover for lack of courage, even laziness. Playing it safe isn’t humble.” James K.A. Smith

PRAY BIG! Take some extended time to pray big—to pray God-sized, Ephesians 3:20-21 sized prayers for Garden City’s disciple making, maturing, and multiplying movement.

“We are not living primarily for the present. Our satisfaction is in knowing that in generations to come our witness for Christ will still be bearing fruit through them in an everwidening cycle of reproduction to the ends of the earth and unto the end of time.”

ROBERT COLEMAN

“There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry, ‘Mine!’”

- Abraham Kuyper

“Some of the deepest and most lasting growth I’ve see in my own life and the life of others has come from one question: ‘If I really believed x, how would I live differently?’” Mandy Smith 103

SING BIG! Let’s never stop singing and believing our Garden City Worship song, “We Give You Glory.” This song, written by Ben Moore, is like our church’s anthem—our battle cry, our big belief, our big prayer, our big passion. Take a few minutes to play and sing this song together.

This is a fight and He’s in it The war rages though it is finished With scars to prove it The receipt for what was paid and what was won The power of God to raise a dead man Beats in our chest and works within us To future glory We’re on the road to who you’re making us to be It has begun: Creation’s healing When all that groans will be set right The One who saves Will bring His justice and His mercy down to reign All the angels watch in wonder They stand in awe of the work of God His saints revealing To the heavens that His glory never ends We give You glory We give You praise We are Your church, God We sing to Jesus who reigns Now and forever For all to see We give You glory To our great God and king You can do more! More More than we can ask for God do more! More More than we can dream

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“A great deal more failure is the result of an excess of caution than of bold experimentation with new ideas. The frontiers of the kingdom of God were never advanced by men and women of caution.” - Oswald Sanders

REPEAT THE PROCESS, AND MIX IT UP. Maybe get a little rest first, maybe let the fields lie fallow for 3 months, but then get right back into the thick of the adventure of discipleship. Ideally you still have 1 or 2 people from your original Discipleship Group who are hungry to continue on mission together, or perhaps the most Life-giving move is to start again from scratch. Where do you start? Start at the beginning. Go back to Habit #1: Selection, and prayerfully select your next phase of disciple-making—who you want to share the gospel and our life with, and how you want to do it. With each cycle through this Discipleship Culture Guidebook you can mix it up however you’d like: select different people, select a different model (top-down, or peerto-peer), select a different core book, select a different format or frequency to what your meetings look like. Listen to what God is saying to you, and to what you desire. Keep it fresh and fun.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Mark Twain 105

KEEP BELIEVING AND ENJOYING THE GOSPEL! JESUS LOVES YOU! We started this journey because of the gospel, and we travel onward in this adventure because of the gospel. Our key discipleship text has been 1 Thessalonians 2:8 “So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our lives, because you had become very dear to us.” This is also a key gospel text, a text that proclaims the good news of how Jesus treats you: • “Affectionate desire”: Jesus affectionately desires you! He started and continues a relationship with you not because you are a duty to him, but because he affectionately desires you. You are so valued and treasured by God. • “Ready to share”: Ready to share is better translated “happy to share.” It is out of an overflow of happiness that Jesus relates to you. If you could see the face of God looking at you, you’d see a smiling face. • “The gospel”: Jesus is the gospel, he’s the good news of God—he came and he comes to happily share with you the best news in the universe. • “Life”: Jesus happily gave you not just his good news teaching, but also his very life. The 2nd person of the Trinity added humanity to his divinity, became a tiny baby in Mary’s womb, experienced the difficulties of life in a fallen world, lived the perfect life we are unable to live, suffered and died in your place, was dead and buried for you, and rose from the grave to blaze a trail out of death for you. Jesus gave his life away for you! Jesus sacrificed his life in order to give you Life: abundant life, new life, eternal life. • “Because you had become very dear”: The finished, present, and future work of Jesus for you is motivated both for the glory of God and because you are very dear to God. You are dear to God. You are desired, delighted in, loved, and treasured. So, may our living out of the adventure of discipleship in 1 Thessalonians 2:8 be powered from an overflow, a contagious delight, in believing and feeling that Jesus first relates to us and loves us in this Life-changing, Life-giving way. You are so loved! God is so big and so good! And there’s so much to be thankful for and hopeful for.

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Onward!

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For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

“Anything He did anywhere else He will do here; anything He did any other time He is willing to do now; anything He ever did for other people He is willing to do for us!” A .W. T o z e r

MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of multiplication.

What is God saying to you?

What’s your next step?

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 10: Never stop singing We Give You Glory The Faith of Leap: Embracing a Theology of Risk, Adventure, and Courage, Michael Frost & Alan Hirsch A God-Sized Vision, Collin Hansen and John Woodbridge A Theology As Big As The City, Ray Bakke Church Planter, Darrin Patrick Pauline Theology & Mission Practice, Dean S. Gilliland Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, Jim Cymballa Big God, Britt Merrick Multiply, Francis Chan Culture Care, Makoto Fujimura Balanced Christianity, John Stott Seek the Welfare of the City, Bruce Winter Why Cities Matter, Stephen Um & Justin Buzzard

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Appendix 1: Tools and Suggestions KEY TOOLS • ESV Study Bible. We strongly recommend everyone in our church owns and makes frequent use of the ESV Study Bible for studying Scripture and digging deeper into curiosity and questions about biblical text and doctrines. • The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones. This children’s Bible is actually a great tool for adults for grasping the main message of the Bible: the gospel. This is an especially great book to give to non-believers/seekers, ask them to take a week to read this book and then meet with you to talk about it. • A Good Systematic Theology book. For deeper study of theological topics we especially recommend Wayne Grudem’s “Bible Doctrine,” or Grudem’s much larger book, “Systematic Theology.” • The Garden City Podcast and The Hub. Our weekly podcast now has many years worth of sermons that you can refer to for further exploration and study, and The Hub provides you with a diversity of articles and stories to help you in your discipleship journey. • The Garden City App and Word & Prayer Plan. We’re always adding more tools and content to the Garden City App to grow our discipleship, and as referenced in this Guidebook our annual Word & Prayer Plan is a great tool for Bible reading and prayer.

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KEY SUGGESTIONS • Study through our Statement of Faith. During one of your cycles through our Discipleship Culture Guidebook you might enjoy doing a deep dive study of our Statement of Faith and the biblical texts that support it. • Work through the ESV Study Bible Articles and Resources. At the back of this Bible is a treasure of theological articles and resources. During one of your Discipleship Group journeys you would find it fruitful to do a deep study of each of these articles and resources. • Study the historic creed, confessions, and catechisms of the Christian faith. Over the course of the next 10 or 30 years of your life perhaps you could set a goal of deeply studying each of the major creeds, confessions, and catechisms of Christian faith. Start with The Westminster Shorter Catechism, The Heidelberg Catechism, or the Apostle’s Creed. • Study and more closely follow the church calendar. The modern evangelical “calendar” is more sparse and cause driven, whereas the historic calendar enjoyed by the church through most of church history is more rich and Christ driven, emphasizing: the Annunciation, Advent, Christmas, Lent, Holy Week (Palm Sunday, Maunday Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday), Easter, Ascension Day, and the Day of Pentecost. • Write your story (or shoot a brief video) of your experience of growth through this discipleship journey and submit it to The Hub so the whole church can celebrate and benefit from your story.

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A p p e n d i x 2 : A M at u r e v s . A n I m m at u r e P e r s o n THIS IS ADAPTED FROM A COURSE TAUGHT BY RICH PLASS ON SOUL CARE.

I. MENTAL/EMOTIONAL HEALTH VS. UNHEALTHY 1. Receptive vs. Reactive. The receptive person is open, can listen, wants to learn and grow, and doesn’t have to have all the answers. 2. Resilient vs. Rigid. The resilient person can absorb hard times, relational blows, discouragement, and hurt. The rigid person will ignore, deny, not engage. 3. Aware (mindful) vs. Unaware (emotionally clueless). The aware person does deep self reflective work. The unaware person is chronically self sabotaging because they stick with what they are doing and don’t reflect/grow. Failure to do deep self reflection will sabotage your way forward. 4. Responsible (owns one’s life) vs. Blame. Mature people own, immature people blame. A victim role doesn’t move you forward relationally. 5. Differentiated vs. Enmeshed 6. Empathetic vs. Detached 7. Strong vs. Fragile. A person who is acknowledging their weaknesses is a person who is relatively strong. 8. Stable vs. Unstable. A stable person is reliable, dependable, trustworthy. 9. Realistic vs. Idealistic. A realistic person can modify and adjust because they’re trying to engage realistically with what’s in front of them. An idealistic person needs it to be a certain way. 10. Imagination vs. Close Minded

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II. SPIRITUALLY HEALTHY VS. UNHEALTHY 1. God is for me vs God is against me. You don’t end up in a good place if you aren’t starting from “God is for me.” 2. Gratitude vs. Complaining. Listen for how grateful someone is, it can be a diagnostic for discerning how healthy/mature someone is. Gratitude reveals one’s trust level. 3. Content vs. Discontent 4. Virtuous (Fruit of the Spirit) vs. Vice (Works of the flesh). The fruit of the Spirit is needed to appropriately connect with people and do relationships well. 5. Trust vs. Mistrust 6. Hope vs. Despair 7. Mind of Christ vs. Mind of the World 8. Humility vs. Pride. Humility: Acknowledging what God’s given you and giving it back to him. 9. Love vs. Self-Centeredness. To love well is to give, to be increasingly focused on others.

III. HEALTHY RELATIONAL MINDSET & PROCESS VS. UNHEALTHY 1. Prayer (dependence on the Spirit) vs Willful 2. Seeking wise counsel vs. Overly independent 3. Open vs. Closed 4. Informed by story (mine and theirs) vs. Ignorant of deep issues 5. What is relationally best (love) vs. Principle over people (law) 6. Grace & Truth vs. Truth only or Grace only 7. Calm vs. Hothead 8. Co-Creator vs. Pawn. A co-creator recognizes that God has invited us into involvement with what he is doing. 9. Informed by deepest Desires vs. Distracted by lesser desires. God wants to work through the deepest desires in our souls.

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Appendix 3: The Orphan vs. Child of God Checklist Many years ago Jack Miller wrote this checklist to help us evaluate if we’re living more deeply into our grace-based identity as sons and daughters of God, and to help us course correct if we’ve been drifting back into an orphan/performance based identity.

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Appendix 4: Storytelling HOW TO RETELL OTHER PEOPLE’S STORIES WITH THE BIG STORY This is the Appendix to one of our recommended books, The Big Story, which uses the storyline of the Bible as a tool for evangelism—for listening to people’s stories and thoughtfully sharing the gospel with them. This “5 Act” way of understanding the Bible’s storyline is an alternative to the 4 part scheme presented in Habit #3. Austrian philosopher Ivan Tillich was once asked about the most revolutionary way to change society. He answered the question this way:

Neither revolution nor reformation can ultimately change a society, rather you must tell a new powerful tale, one so persuasive that it sweeps away the old myths and becomes the preferred story, one so inclusive that it gathers all the bits of our past and our present into a coherent whole, one that even shines some light into our future so that we can take the next step…If you want to change a society, then you have to tell an alternative story. Most of you reading The Big Story care about seeing change happen in the people in your city. As I seek to love and impact people in my city I’ve realize I must focus my energy on two main things: 1) listening to their story 2) telling them an alternative (better) story—the Big Story. A very helpful way to do this is to use the five acts of the Big Story (God, Creation, Rebellion, Rescue, Home) as a template for understanding other people’s stories and then retelling their story with the Big Story, the one story that can make true sense out of their life. What follows is a simple method for doing this. Act 1: God Whether its conscious or not, everyone believes in an Act 1 part of their story. Act 1 asks the question, “Who is God?” Listen for the Act 1 of people’s stories—who is their god? What have they placed at the center of their life? Once you’ve discerned the functional god of someone’s life, you can retell their story—you can tell them how the God of the Bible is a better god than whatever or whomever they currently worship. The content of chapter 2 forms the core of this content—that there is one happy, Trinitarian God who is sovereign, wise, and good—who can be completely trusted and who is worthy of our worship. Act 2: Creation Act 2 asks the question, “Who am I or who should I be?” Everyone in your city is believing some sort of Act 2, some larger story is informing their sense of identity and purpose in life. Act 2 is a critical leverage point for reaching people with the Big Story. Most people’s stories ring the most hollow here—as life goes on and beats them up, they realize that they’ve built their life on an unstable

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identity (most often some sort of success or performance oriented identity) and they feel aimless about the purpose of their life. The content of chapter 3 gives you a beautiful, better story to tell people—that they are created in the image and likeness of God, that God’s words (“very good”) give a person the identity they’ve been searching for their whole life. Act 3: Rebellion Everyone has an Act 3 to their story, an answer to the question: “What’s wrong with me and the world?” Listen closely to how people make sense of the brokenness in them and around them. You want to press for honesty here, for realism—do people really believe that the pain in this world is merely a product of people making stupid choices once in a while? The Big Story gives a far more satisfactory answer that rings true to the human experience—there is something very wrong with this world and us—it’s a problem called sin and evil, a problem that we cannot fix by ourselves. The content of chapter 4 gives you many angles for telling people the story that can make sense of what is wrong with them and this world. Talking about sin will not be popular or easy to swallow for most people, but it will ring true. The longer someone seriously examines Act 3 of their story, they are likely to see that only Christianity adequately explains the pain around us. Act 3 is where people can be radically humbled. Most people believe in an Act 3 that makes them the hero, rather than the problem. Most people think they can fix themselves. Act 4: Rescue Act 4 answers the question, “What’s the solution?” Again, the Big Story requires humility, most every other story that people in your city believe underestimates the how bad things really are (Act 3) and therefore underestimates how significant of a solution is needed: we need grace, a Savior, rescue— not self-help. Your task here is to listen closely to how people think they or someone else can fix what’s broken. Gently point out the holes in their 4th Act, how their heroes fail them and how there is only one hero who can rescue younger son prodigals and elder brother prodigals from a life of selfishness and brokenness. Chapter 5 gives you plenty of handles for talking about these themes. Act 5: Home The final act goes after hope, it answers the question, “What do I hope for and where am I going?” Listen to what people long for, what is their Act 5 that they think will finally satisfy them and solve their greatest problems? The Big Story offers a vastly superior future and hope to every other story and worldview on offer. Only Christianity tells of eternal life on the other side of the grave in a world where there is no more pain or death, where everything sad comes untrue and even the worst things that happen to us in this life are redeemed and make for a greater future bliss. Chapter 6 gives you plenty of onramps for talking to people about a better Act 5. During the last two years God has been using me more than ever before to lead people to place their faith in Jesus and experience new life in him. It’s thrilling. I’m no more equipped than you to do this. I don’t have any secrets. My only “secret” is that I believe God can save anyone’s life and I work hard at listening to people’s stories and telling them a better story. If you want to change a society, then you have to tell an alternative story.

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