Bookworm Summer 2013

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Contents Summer reading

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Recommendations, reviews, news and the Carnegie shortlist.

Stuff Swanshurst—old school

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Photos of the staff when we were at school

School Days Cinema Club Bollywood Teenage Kicks The Movie Doctor Dark Corners

30 40 42 54 64 Were any other members of staff as cute as Ms Taylor—hardly! But 66 check out all the staff school

Stock, Hopkins, Beniston and Ness photos and see what you think.

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59 Editorial

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This issue we have fun with school, college and Bollywood. I know how busy everyone is during summer term so thanks to everyone for contributing. Khadija and Sarah get special mentions for doing so much and being so enthusiastic. Special thanks to Ellie for reading (and kind of enjoying) Titus Groan. Hoorah! That’s two people now and in neither case did I have to use bribery. Thanks to to the members of staff who provided photos of their younger selves. Remember, gingers are the best. Most of all I want to say a big goodbye and good luck to all the Year 11s and Year 13s. We’re not allowed to have favourites but I think you know who you are! And I’m not going to cry—much.


S


There are loads of new books out this summer by some of the biggest names in YA fiction: Neil Gaiman, Sophie McKenzie, Rachel Caine, Sarah Dessen, L J Smith and David Almond plus much anticipated sequels by Amanda Hocking, Meg Cabot, Aimee Carter, Lauren Destefano, Teri Terry & Amy Plum.

Summer Reading


Summer Reading There are loads of great books to check out this summer. First, every 10 years Granta publish a list of the 20 best young ‘literary’ novelists. The list is here. Good places to start? Kamila Shamsie’s Burnt Shadows, Jenni Fagan’s The Panoptican, anything by Sarah Hall, though I loved her collection of short stories The Beautiful Indifference. Mr Fox or anything by Helen Oyeyemi; Tahmima Anam’s The Good Muslim. These are all accessible and enjoyable books but like any list it’s there to be discovered and generate discussion. Have a go.

(from left) Tahmima Anam, Kamila Shamsie and Sarah Hall

In a similar vein, Guardian columnist Damien Walter suggested an alternative list of young authors for those of us who like sci-fi, fantasy and speculative fiction. This is another great list. He includes Frances Hardinge, the brilliant author of YA fantasy novels (who I championed in a previous Bookworm).


g For fantasy fans also included is Saladin Ahmed (The Throne of the Crescent Moon) and Joe Abercrombie (any, but not for those of you with a nervous disposition). Horror fans could try Joe Hill and Chuck Wendig. Whatever your taste in books try Lauren Beukes’ brilliant Zoo City. There’s more coverage here and here.

The Women’s Fiction Prize (formally the Orange Prize) offered up a shortlist feast this year. And the winner is . . . A M Holmes. Yeah!! I LOVED this book.


This year’s Carnegie shortlist is perhaps more suited to a younger audience this year, but 3 books stand out as excellent reads for Bookworm readers: Maggot Moon, In Darkness & Midwinterblood . You can get all the latest news on the Carnegie website and all the reviews from Swanshurst here. Congratulations to Ms Yates and all those of you who attended the Carnegie Book Group this year.


If you are planning on reading Midwinterblood, make sure a friend is reading it as well, as after this book, you will need someone to gush over it with and discuss. There are so many different themes in the book - life, death, reincarnation, love - that I can't help thinking that one day there will be some sort of exam about it! But don't let that put you off, because it is such an amazing read. It's one of those books where afterwards, you won't be able to stop thinking about it, what things represented what and what exactly the dragon flower plant's effect was on people. If I had to describe the book, I would say it was a love story, but not necessarily a romance. There are so many relationships explored: mother and son, twins, painter and child, and indeed, lovers. Each story is fantastic, my particular favourite being "the unquiet grave." Really recommend it. [Annabel Butcher] Patrick Ness reviews In Darkness for The Guardian here. Linda Buckley-Archer reviews Maggot Moon here. Hot Key Books have also produced a brilliant website for the book where you can get the dyslexiafriendly ibook. If you want to develop your reviewing style check out Goodreads. Whatever book you’ve read you can bet someone will have already posted a thoughtful review.

School photos - will you recognise all the members of staff? Mr Stock Ms Hardwick Ms Campbell Ms Bray Ms Else Ms Smith Ms Bridger Ms Hopkins Mr Embrey Mr Millard Ms Lea Ms Moody Ms Wright Mr Allberry Ms Bennett Mr Beniston Ms Wheeler Mr Nutter Ms Beckford Ms Watton Ms Dowsett Ms Bowler Ms Griffin Ms Place Ms Wild Mr Smith Ms Rigelsford Ms Tigue Ms Leadbeater Ms Braddock Mr Twist Ms Pollard Ms Butt Ms Osgood Mr Gupwell Ms Nolan


The Autumn Bookworm is going to focus on short stories. Most of you, either for school or for pleasure, will only have written short pieces of prose so you’ve probably already written a shot story! Whether it was any good is a different story ;-) Anyway if you want to get better at writing there’s always loads of good stuff and advice from writers online. I love Joe Abercrombie’s post here. There is, believe it or not, a National Short Story Week, every November. They have a website here. Here are plenty of suggestions for summer reading.


There are lots of great lists online it seems everyone has an opinion about the best short stories ever written. Look here, here, and here. Herman Melville’s Bartleby, the There’s an unusual one (with lots of Scrivener is one of my all time favourites. You can read it here. Or American writers) here. The try some of the greatest short story Guardian has lots of good stuff and you can read lots of classic short writers ever: Flannery O’Connor, stories for free - try here for Anton Chekhov, Katherine example. Mansfield and James Joyce.


We try and use The Bookworm for positive reviews and recommendations— but having a rant can be a VERY enjoyable thing. To be fair, this book is aimed at younger readers but Khadija’s righteous indignation should be available for everyone to enjoy . . . A bore and another bore in a book which happens to contain an obnoxious boy, an irritating bear and a boat. It's really difficult to work out who exactly this vapid mess of a 'book' has been written for. The book consists of around 304 pages - a proper short novel but we also receive illustrations (which I freely admit are quite charmingly drawn and probably the only thing that breathe some life into the dull narrative). This blurs the line between it being a picture book for younger audiences and being a novel for the older reader. Personally, I think this book would have fared better as a short story with colour illustrations, and possibly then it could have been nominated for the Greenway award rather than the Carnegie, where it seems to stick

out like a sore thumb. Let's have a look at the actual text. It takes 150 pages for ANYTHING to happen. Normally even the most difficult novel does not test your patience as this thing did. I practically needed to restrain myself from throwing this book against a wall when the bear gets his tea set out. If Dave Shelton (the writer) thought he was being witty or trying to show his 'clever' dry sense of humour by creating a bear that eats sandwiches with unusual fillings, keeps a tea set on his boat and has a map just showing the sea then perhaps he needs to go and watch some Wes Anderson and Tim Burton films. And how can I forget about the irritating brat that takes the shape of a boy in the book. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I read a book after which I only remembered the main character because I hated them so intensely. I'll even go as far as saying Jack Torrance from The Shining and the psychopath from No Country for Old Men are more likeable. At least instead of constantly arguing they just killed the person, which made matters much more entertaining. This book may have become interesting if the boy or the bear had ended up murdering each other. Well, after this endurance test of a book I will just say that maybe Dave Shelton should just stick to drawing and just stop writing and people, please stop buying this book because that will just encourage him to write another!


Book covers can turn us on or turn us right off. If I’d never read Philip Reeve’s Mortal Engines series, the present atrocious cover would probably put me off for ever. It seems designed to attract 7-yearold boys when it’s actually a true ‘crossover’ novel—full of better writing and better ideas than the average ’adult’ text. Then I discovered that whole websites are devoted to terrible, hilarious or inappropriate book covers. My favourites so far are from this Brazilian series—it seems a pretty woman can sell anything! The most bizarre? The Jayne Anne Phillips I think—so left-field I still can’t get my head around it. And the one at the bottom? Stephen King’s The Shining!!!

There’s a great article here by author Alison Croggan about some of the problems with YA book covers and gendered book marketing.


Summer Reading

The Drowning Girl is a book that encompasses many genres. [It is also a book for those who loved Jo Walton’s Among others - there are many similarities in style). It is a ghost story, a psychological thriller, a fantasy and it also has many gothic elements as well as being a beautifully constructed memoir. That is not to say that it is a hotchpotch of a book or confused. It is quite beautifully put together although if I am honest, it is sometimes difficult to read. It is worth your time though, it really is. Imp, Imogen Morgan Phelps, to use her full name, is schizophrenic. She tries to live life like everyone else but as you might expect, this is a challenge. Mental illness is ever present for her; it has been in her family for generations manifesting itself at regular intervals. She takes medication which keeps some of the symptoms at bay but it breaks through and is impossible for her to ignore. Her own realization that she is ill is what really gets to you. "It's a myth that crazy people don’t know they're crazy. Many of us are surely as capable of epiphany and introspection as anyone else, maybe more so. I suspect we spend far more time thinking about our thoughts than do sane people" She tries to make sense of what she experiences through writing a series of letters to herself and via art. The letters are what we are reading are apparently never intended to be read by others. The poignancy of them is painful although there is humour as well. Imp is haunted by a ghostly girl, Eva Canning. She appears before Imp in two borrowed glowing forms; a mermaid/siren and a wolf/wife from Little Red Riding Hood. These two hauntings are conflicting in nature and the cause of immense consternation for Imp. You need to be prepared to slip between many layers of fact and fiction and accept that Imp is the archetypal unreliable narrator. This is a book full of lies, except it also contains nothing but the truth. The reality of her life where she cannot trust her own everyday reality to be the truth is distressing; she cautions herself and us very early on in the tale:


"there's no point doing this thing if all I can manage is a lie . . . Which is not to say every word will be factual. Only that every word will be true. Or as true as I can manage" She clearly doesn’t trust herself to record the events with any accuracy. Imp writes down what she remembers in an effort to make sense of what she realises may be the false memories of a schizophrenic. This might be a haunting or it might not, but the tension is there never the less. You have been warned, this is a book of ‘might be’, and there are no absolutes. Writing a review for such a complicated book without producing a spoiler is difficult, I’d rather just tell you to read it, discover the intricacies and put together the experience of Imp’s haunting and life yourself. [Ms Lea] Caitlin R Kiernan is also writing for comics. Her latest mini series has been released as a beautiful graphic novel. The main character of Alabaster: Wolves is Dancy Flammarion and if you’ve ever seen Supernatural it’s easy to imagine her as a younger cousin of Sam and Dean Winchester. Except Dancy has an angel and her angel wants her to kill things. With a butcher’s knife. Throughout Alabaster: Wolves demons and werewolves are dispatched by this slim, albino teenager. The amazing artwork helps to create a wonderfully sombre atmosphere whilst the horror aspects are bloodily addictive. So enjoy the visual spectacle but whilst you do, wonder about the themes and the ideas. Is Dancy a modern day Joan of Arc? Is she delusional does the angel really exist? What is the cost of killing even if it is only a werewolf?


Summer Reading

I grew up in a small village in Leicester. My family weren't well off so we didn’t have holidays but there was a big park 2 minutes walk away, fields at the back of our house and plenty of woods to explore another 15 mins away. I suppose I was quite lucky. Yet, I didn’t meet anyone Asian until an Indian family took over the local corner shop. I think I was 10. I was 17 before I tasted my first curry (what a waste of 17 years!), 20 before I read my first novels with black and Asian protagonists and 22 before I tasted the first great paratha of my life (I can still remember it today). Not that my world was completely white. One of my best friends was Chinese. A Turkish family owned the best chip shop in town. [Anybody would think I was obsessed by food!]. And I loved Michael Jackson! But really my surroundings and my cultural horizons were pretty darned white. Perhaps that’s why I feel so lucky to live in Birmingham now and why I feel lucky to have been introduced to (and discovered) so many different things about world culture and politics. Why am I boring you with this? Because growing up as a white boy/ teenager/man in a European country was safe (relatively speaking of course - we all have our problems). I didn’t have to worry about racism, sexism, disease, war or many other issues that people around the world have to regularly confront or that immigrants in a foreign country must face. It seems to me that the world is a particularly crazy and threatening place at the minute, especially for immigrants and for those that find themselves at the mercy of powerful nation states. That’s partly why I’ve enjoyed and connected with these two tremendous novels so much and why you might want to give them a go over the summer. Elif Shafak’s Honour is the story of a Kurdish family, their life in Turkey, beginning in the 1950s and their life in England during the 1970s. 1945: Naze already has six daughters and desperately wants a son but gives birth to two more daughters, twins. She is distraught and names them Destiny and Enough. Their father intervenes and they become Pink Destiny and Enough Beauty - Pembe Kader and Jamila Yeter. When she is 17 Pembe gets married and has a son, Iskender and a daughter Esma. Later she leaves Turkey with her husband Adem for a new life in London. Jamila stays in Turkey and


becomes a midwife. With a title like Honour you suspect that it probably won’t be the happiest story in the world - and it isn’t. Within a couple of chapters we know Iskender is in jail for killing Pembe. We don’t know how it will happen or how all their lives will evolve, but we quickly learn that ideas about family, honour and shame will motivate characters and dramatically shape their lives. The narrative has a tight complex structure, jumping back and forth in time to skilfully juxtapose events, ideas and themes. It quickly becomes compulsive reading. We get the viewpoints of at least 10 characters, almost exclusively narrated in the 3rd person, told in short, controlled chapters. Shafak wants the reader to understand, imagine and empathise with other lives. I’ve already read some great novels in 2013 but this is the best - poetic and passionate yet restrained and unflinching too. See what you think. Mirza Waheed’s The Collaborator is about a Muslim teenager growing up in the Indian controlled part of Kashmir in the 1990s when the fighting around the ‘Line of Control’ was particularly brutal and fierce. If you don’t know much about the conflict over Kashmir it might be worth doing a bit of research before you start. The beginning is macabre - the unnamed narrator must walk into a valley with thousands of corpses, gunned down by the Indian army. He has been employed by the Indian officer to recover IDs, weapons and anything of value. He and the reader must face the terrible physical reality of war. That said, much of the novel is contemplative as the narrator looks back to a time before the village became deserted and all his friends left to join the opposition in Pakistan. It’s also mysterious - the early chapters raise many questions - why is he a collaborator, why is the village deserted and so on. I have to admit that it took me a good 70 pages to be convinced - the narrator is lost, emotionally and spiritually, and shellshocked - and that means he’s a little hard to connect with at the beginning. But, persevere, settle in to it, and it becomes increasingly compelling.


Summer Reading

This new collection of short, precise narratives by Yoko Ogawa is truly agitating. All the stories in this book are simply written. The tales explore plain, unremarkable happenings, perhaps somehow distantly connected. BUT, it is honestly surprising how these seemingly innocent stories shake you to the core. Take the underlining ideas and feelings found in the short story of a woman who enters a bakery, for example. All that happens is that the woman waits for someone to serve her, only to be joined by another woman in her waiting. And yet it is so disturbing in some incomprehensible way. There are other pieces that are a little more obviously mysterious, and they too build up atmosphere in a practically imperceptible way. Others are eerie and uncanny. One thing is obvious—every single one of these stories throws you completely off balance. Yoko Ogawa manages to pick and select tiny little details that weave together perfectly and have an almost ghost-like effect on you—in the sense that it is difficult to detect the exact reasons for the feeling that you have. Every detail serves a purpose though; nothing is useless, no word out of place. This is not horror in its popular form, but horrify it does and Ogawa proves herself to be a master of the genre. And for more deeply unsettling stories . . . try Koji Suzuki’s Dark Water. [Yusra Mian]


Lots more Bookworm goodness online. Just click on a cover.


. . . you won’t find in the Daily Mail

Some excellent Guardian Top 10s over the last few months: Saci Lloyd's top 10 political books Darren Shan's top 10 books about outsiders for teenagers Na'ima B Robert's top 10 Romeo and Juliet stories helped me discover Leila Aboulela’ s wonderful The Translator. And missed this last year–all things fairie by the brilliant Graham Joyce.

The Year 11s & the Year 13s will be missed. A LOT. I hope you all get to follow your dreams.

With the Pakistan elections in the news throughout the spring I thought I would recommend some good books. The political situations in India and Pakistan (and the tensions between the two nations) understandably arouse deep passions but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to analyse the situation for yourselves. The use of drones in Pakistan, by the USA, is highly contentious (to say the least). Medea Benjamin’s book is a brilliant introduction to the increasing use of drones throughout the world. Anatol Lieven’s Pakistan: A Hard Country is the best, most sympathetic and up to date book currently available on all the subtleties and intricacies of Pakistani politics and history. Arundhati Roy is a brilliant writer and activist—all her books are worth checking out. Finally if you want to learn about the partition of India in 1947, Yasmin Khan’s book is the best place to start.


This quote is attributed to the great boxer Muhammad Ali on a visit to Ground Zero in New York. In truth it’s difficult to verify and be 100% sure he said it. Nonetheless it’s a great line for any Muslim when asked about an act of terrorism. "How do you feel about the suspects sharing your Islamic faith." Response: "How do you feel about Hitler sharing yours?"

There’s a great new Guardian Top 10 just out: Kate Clanchy's top 10 comingof-age novels.

Huge congratulations to Malorie Blackman on becoming the new children’s laureate. Malorie’s novels have always been a huge hit at Swanshurst so I know you’ll be pleased. Great articles here and here.









All the names are on P9.


School life

Zillions of the books in Upper library have school as the background to their stories. It’s kind of obvious—teenage protagonists, teenagers go to school, Bob’s your Uncle. Think Twilight, Hush,Hush, Shiver, Fallen, Vampire Academy, Perfect Chemistry, Evermore, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You and many, many more. There’s also the novels of Meg Cabot, Sarah Dessen, Cathy Hopkins or even Jacqueline Wilson and Cathy Cassidy. Loads of you have now read or watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower. There are loads more great novels set in college. There’s a good list here.

Submarine is just one of the many novels we have in the 6th form library charting life in school and college and is perfect for any teenager. Oliver and Jordana (she’s brilliant!) are the main characters and its easy to empathise with them as they share so many of the problems we all do. Oliver’s problems with his parents, girls and sex make him realize he cannot fully control his life. Dunthorne gives Oliver strong emotions and a unique voice. He’s a little intense but the humour in the story outweighs the sadness and it’s very easy to read. Submarine shows how our parents’ problems impact on our lives as Oliver’s intense feelings towards his parents jeopardise his relationship with Jordana. It’s a lovely, enjoyable novel for all. [Sehrish Chaudhary]


Carrie is the story an outcast and loner at High school. She has a religious nut job of a mother and no one at school or the neighbourhood likes them. Carrie is also telekinetic. We start with a brutal scene in the showers at school where all the girls taunt Carrie when she has her first period - due to her mother she doesn’t know what is happening and thinks she is bleeding to death. The rest of the girls just throw tampons at her and insult her. We then find out the girls have been given a week’s detention and have been banned from attending the prom because of the incident. But one of the girls, Sue Snell feels sorry for Carrie and as she cannot go to the prom she sets her up with her boyfriend Tommy. Another one of the girls is Chris who hates Carrie with a passion and is angry at being punished and so wants revenge. Then some VERY nasty things follow and Carrie is right in the middle of all of it and wants revenge... The novel has some very creepy parts, especially involving Carrie’s mother, and the way some of the high school students act towards Carrie is quite cruel and sick as a whole. The way it is written is very bleak and raw which made the whole situation in the book seem even more disturbing. It’s not as scary as some of King’s other novels, like The Shining or Salem’s Lot, which really do scare you when you read them at 2 in the night. But to be fair it was his first published novel, so perhaps his writing style developed. In spite of this it is still a very enjoyable book and is still considered a classic today. Some of you may know about or may have watched the 70’s film adaption. I haven't watched it myself but a lot of the reviews I have read praise it and it is still considered, like the book, a classic. More of you may have heard of the new adaption coming out this year starring Chloe Moretz as Carrie and Julianne Moore as her psycho Mum. Personally I’m not sure if they should have cast Chloe Moretz, she just doesn’t really fit the description of Carrie, but lets wait and see... [Khadija Tahir]


School life

Nothing is a dark, sad and nihilistic tale about a group of children discovering whether they believe life has any meaning. Depressing huh? Bare with me. The novel is set in Denmark (I think the writer is also Danish as the book was translated into English) and begins when one of the students from the school, Pierre Anthon, realises that life has no meaning—so he climbs a tree and stays there! From there, whenever his class mates walk past he shouts about the meaninglessness of life and pelts then with plums. Instead of ignoring him they all get together and try to figure out what they need to do about him. Firstly they decide to pelt him with stones! When this doesn't work they decide that they must collect together things that mean the most to them and give them up—to reinforce the importance of life, it’s joys and meanings. At first it is just normal objects that mean a lot to 13-14 year olds: a new pair of shoes, a fishing rod, etc., but soon the sacrifices become much more grim and austere as the children desperately try to find meaning in life. I found the book very bleak and as it went on things just got out of hand and became quite disturbing. It starts out light and almost childlike, when someone is asked to give their new shoes or their instrument but then the children start treating each other very brutally , because they have to sacrifice things that mean so much to them. It becomes very weird. It was very different to anything I have read before and was very refreshing to read a book aimed at children that is as grim and chilling as this. The book is only about 200 pages long but manages to scare you more than any big horror novel can. If anyone has watched the TV show Black Mirror, this book is very similar to it. The book has also been compared to Lord of the Flies which has a similar premise of children taking charge of each other so if you like that, you may enjoy this too. [K T]



School life

In a world awash with ‘celebrity’ gossip, it seems virtually impossible for anyone considered a figure of public interest to maintain a veil of privacy. How do you avoid media intrusion if you wish your private life to remain just that? J.D. Salinger (1919 – 2010) was one of the most wellknown writers of 20th century American fiction. His best-known work, The Catcher In The Rye (1951), is one of the most controversial and best-selling books in modern fiction. Read at an impressionable age, Holden Caulfield’s battle against the ‘goddamn phonies’ of the world will make a permanent impression on any teenager. The other notable thing about this renowned writer is his reputation as one of the most reclusive figures of the century. This intrigues me almost as much as Salinger’s writing. How did he manage to achieve and maintain such legendary status throughout the century, while remaining so elusive? We know that following the publication of ‘Catcher’ in 1953, Salinger left New York and retreated to the countryside of New Hampshire. What no one knows is why the complete withdrawal? Why give ‘Catcher’ to the world and then retreat so far from it that all that remains is gossip and speculation? Salinger legendarily refused any attempts to engage with the media, save for one interview in 1980 which he appears to have been tricked into granting. In 2009, just one year before he died, Salinger was still aggressively protecting his own legacy. He took vigorous legal action to prevent the publication of 60 Years Later: Coming Through The Rye, a novel which purported to be a sequel to ‘Catcher’, using Salinger’s characters.


Now, less than three years after his death, a forthcoming indepth documentary will attempt to uncover the question, who really was J.D. Salinger? Titled Salinger, the film has been put together over nine years by Shane Salerno, better known as a writer of mainstream movies such as Alien vs Predator. Currently he is giving little away, save to say that having interviewed over two hundred people, he has so much material that there will now be an accompanying book, The Private War of JD Salinger. Once again there is feverish speculation about secret love affairs and unpublished works. Salinger’s own son has already pronounced himself to be firmly against the revelations. As a long-term admirer of Salinger’s work, I have found myself very uncertain of my own response to the whole project. What right have I, a mere reader, to know the small details of a life hidden so carefully from prying eyes? Should this movie and book ever see release, or should Salinger’s wish for privacy remain posthumously intact? What do you think? And if you haven’t read the book give it a go, you won’t regret it. [Ms Yates]

Salinger published other stories before he retreated completely. Nine Stories is a collection of his earlier short stories. Franny and Zooey and Raise High the Roof-Beam, Carpenters were published later and are well worth reading.


School life

Some people tend to believe in true love. I believe in my stomach… Le Grand Meaulnes is the unique novel of Alain Fournier. It is the story of Augustin Meaulnes or, Le Grand Meaulnes, as he is called by its narrator, Francois Seurel, 15 years old at the story's opening. The novel begins when 17 year old Augustin becomes a pupil in the school run by Francois' father. The older boy soon becomes the kind of hero-like figure to the younger boys. It is quite understandable as Augustin does not seem to be enchained by any responsibilities, he claims his life as being his own and lives it to the fullest. The mysterious character of Augustin, who the students soon call Le Grand Meaulnes will disturb the monotonous rhythm of the school and fascinate all students. Augustin has a charm and his frequent absence compared to the other pupils with whom Francois is familiar will soon lead to their immediate friendship as the young 15 year old boy senses that if he stays to Augustin’s side, the forthcoming events will be worth a lifetime. Augustin soon embarks on his own escapade; one that will determine the direction in which his life, and the lives of those close to him will change without fail. This is a wonderfully written, haunting, tale that will, in all likelihood, remain with the reader long after the last word is read, which I believe is the best way to judge a book’s value. The longer you remember the feelings you once felt, the easier it will be to fall back into the fictional world that you built in your youth. Cornelia Funke once said: “There are books that you can taste, other that one devours. And some, few, which are chewed and digested fully...” Alain Fournier, who died tragically at the beginning of World War 1 wrote one such novel. Read it, treasure it, be inspired by it. I expect to live with it for ever. [S D]


I believe there are two different categories of books: the first category would be those that make you dream and wonder. The second category includes the books that change you inevitably. Unusually The Book Thief fits in both those categories perfectly… Oscar Wilde once said: “To live, is the rarest thing in the world. People tend to exist; that is all”. This piece of work can be interpreted in a very simple way: In a world of chaos, seize the day… The Book Thief tells the tale of Liesel Meminger, 10, born book-thief, Max Vandenburg, 22, Jewish fistfighter and Hans Hubermann, who to most people is barely visible. An un-special person. The three of them all fight the same battle in the same ugly world. Liesel Meminger grows amongst chaos and manages to survive. Unfortunately, a few people would consider the destruction of books as chaos, but for the “fury”, this act is one of the many ways to keep Germany under an iron grip AND in total ignorance of its state. Death is our guide and narrator to The Book Thief. Surprisingly, she in some ways has human-like characteristics. For example, she has real feelings. We see her experience both sadness and joy in the novel. She even gets depressed. Interestingly to help distract her from her depressing and never-ending work, she often fixates on the colour of the sky at the time of each human death. God knows how much time she must have spent looking at the sky during this novel… Like many humans, Death tries to find ways to give meaning to her work. One of the main things she does is collect stories of courageous humans. Liesel is particularly interesting to her because of her courage and her personality. Stories like hers help keep her going. Death re-tells these stories, she says, "to prove to myself that you, and your human existence, are worth it”. I believe that you should always keep track of what kind of person that you were yesterday and who you are today, any changes? If no… then Death thinks there is a problem. [S D]


School life—6th form

There are plenty of excellent modern novels about school and college written for adults rather than children. Here are some of the best and most accessible - all in the 6th form library


Eleanor Catton’s The Rehearsal is a complex book which provides you with an insight into teenage sexuality and how real life is itself a rehearsal. It involves the way in which a teacher-student sex scandal affects a whole school and how inspiration can be found just round the corner. One part of the story takes place at The Drama Institute as the 1st year college students get to grips with the real world of acting when set with the challenge of putting on a live theatre performance at the end of the year. Watching these students carefully, the tutors, the Head of Movement, the Head of Acting and the Head of Improvisation, all seek out younger versions of themselves in the batches of students that arrive each year hoping to one day succeed. They decide to recreate a story that had circulated in the newspapers involving a local school. Their play charts a sex scandal that originally involved Mr Saladin (the teacher) and Victoria (the student). They describe it as an ‘adolescent relationship’ where ‘Mr Saladin played the child’ with ‘backseat whispers and doorway fumbles’. The other half of the narrative takes place at Abbey Grange High school as the students ‘recover’ from the affair through a series of counselling sessions. One of the students, Julia, rebels against these and is labelled the school lesbian when she forms a relationship with Victoria’s sister Isolde. The affair puts pressure on Julia and Isolde as they re-evaluate their sexuality, forcing them into unchartered territory. Looming over the action is the mysterious, manipulative saxophone teacher - spectator, match maker and fantasist, she draws the students out, finding out about their knowledge, desires and vulnerabilities. Although a difficult book to read, The Rehearsal is definitely one which deserves to be read as it takes you through the minds of various different characters, exposing their fantasies whilst having two stories working side by side until they are finally brought together as one. The reader needs to be attentive - the jumps back and forth in time and the changes in register can be disorientating, but this technique is also unique and thought provoking and makes for an intriguing, satisfying read. [Neelam Narshi]



The movie section is split into two for this issue. First, to coincide with events celebrating 100 years of Bollywood we give you a real treat - plenty of suggestions if you’re new to Bollywood or if you’ve been watching it all your life. Secondly we feature lots of classic films from the last 35 years set in schools and college.


That’s right film fans, I’ve tried Bollywood and I LIKE it! I started with perhaps the greatest ever made - the magnificent Sholay (1975) and followed it up with one of the biggest grossing Bollywood films of all time Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995). What can I say? I’m hooked. Action, romance, singing, dancing and more - what’s not to love?


Haleema Zahid recommends

Haleema has assured me Taare Zameen Par and Kal Ho Naa Ho will make me cry. I assured her, that isn’t hard!

Ikra & Rosena recommend


Neelam and Mina recommend



This is the year we celebrate 100 years of Indian cinema. The creators of ‘moving pictures’ were the French Lumiere brothers. They showed their first ever films in Paris in 1895. The next year they showed 7 short silent films in Bombay. The first Indian film, Raja Harishchandra was released two decades later, in May 1913. In trying to discover as much as possible I’ve found some great resources online. I’ve also discovered more about the lives of working class Asians living in Britain. My favourite blog is Bollywood in Britain by Irna Qureshi, ‘an anthropologist, writer and oral historian specialising in British Asian arts, culture and migration’. She is a fantastic writer; her posts are honest, moving and political - I can’t recommend it enough. The Guardian has a section devoted to Bollywood films. Bollywood.com has lots of up to date news and pics. The Times of India also has lots of news and reviews, as does Planet Bollywood. To learn more about the Pakistan film industry (Lollywood, if you wish) check out the Pakistan Film Magazine. This has some great stuff on the film industry in Lahore before Partition. You can also read about efforts to revive the Pakistani movie business here. If you want an insight into the more serious side of Indian filmmaking read this Sight and Sound article or have a look at the Satyajit Ray website.


Silsila was a 1981 Bollywood hit and starred the iconic recommends Amitabh Bachchan, his real-life wife Jaya Bahaduri- Bachchan and the beautiful Rekha. I have seen it numerous times and will continue to watch it again and again… It was the first time that a ‘love-triangle’ had been depicted so openly in a Bollywood film and caused quite a stir at the time! The rumour was rife that the film actually mirrored the real-life situation between the film’s three stars! I remember watching it as an innocent teenager and having a few of those awkward moments when you have to cover your eyes or suddenly burst into conversation because someone might be about to kiss. The film was filmed in beautiful settings including one memorable scene in the tulip fields of The Netherlands. The music from the film became an instant hit and to this day the songs are often played or sung with a dholki at Indian or Pakistani weddings. In fact, they featured as the background music on my very own wedding video! The song and dance routines between Rekha and Amitabh are amazing – especially in the opening Pehli Pehli Baar Dekha (The first time I saw) in which Rekha smoulders in a hot pink outfit and Amitabh dons an iconic white suit to rival John Travolta’s in Saturday Night Fever. I still wonder how many takes it must have taken for Rekha’s plait to wrap itself perfectly around Amitabh’s neck. Get a taster on Youtube.

* or Ms Butt, as she is known in everyday life!

Twinkle Sitar-Khan*

I’m keen to get more of your Bollywood recommendations so please tell me about your favourite films and songs.


Tasnim Noor recommends


Momina Khan recommends

Momina has provided me with an eclectic mixture and has more up her sleeve for the Autumn. Race 2 is Bollywood’s answer to the Fast and Furious series whilst the Raaz series are horror. Personally I’m looking forward to seeing the early (1978) version of Don.


CINEMA CLUB Superheroes It’s official, I’m bored with superheroes. Admittedly it’s been coming on for a while. Apparently the new Superman movie is pretty good but then Iron Man 3 got good reviews too and that was SO boring. I’m bored with the lack of interesting female characters; bored by spectacle that has no soul; bored with plots that don’t make any sense; bored with naff dialogue; bored with CGI. Comprende everybody? BORED! Silver Linings Playbook I’m not bored with Silver Linings Playbook. I’ve seen it three times now, introduced it to friends and could happily watch it again. It has everything. See it. Also, wasn’t it brilliant when Jennifer Lawrence showed up the premiere of Gatsby without wearing makeup? Mark Cousins I wrote in the last issue about Mark Cousins’ brilliant The Story of Film. I’ve now seen his 2009 film The First Movie. Cousins travelled to Goptapa in Iraq, a Kurdish village that was bombarded with chemical weapons by Saddam Hussein in 1988—the famous Anfal campaign. The film is poetic, unsentimental, idealistic, and


passionate about giving these people, especially the children, a voice. He captures the beautiful luminosity of Iraq, puts on movie nights for the village and gives some of the kids cameras to make their own films. As you can imagine they produce a mixture: some of it is banal—ordinary snippets of life—but they also convey their hopes and dreams, the vibrancy and honesty of youth and record village elders talking about the chemical attacks. It’s an astonishing piece of work and as with everything Cousins does, it’s also an implicit guide to making movies. You can’t help but notice how he uses the camera—careful framing, unusual angles and lots of shots where the camera stays still. It’s only 77 minutes long. Download it. Watch it. Think about it. Definitely not bored by Mark Cousins. Films of the year (so far) Mark Kermode usually produces a mid-year Top 10 at the end of June on his Uncut blog so if it’s good enough for him it’s good enough for me. Trouble is, 2013 has been a bit pants so far and 3 of my top 5 are foreign movies that I’m not sure you’ll appreciate— Beyond the Hills, Lore and I’m So Excited. In the end, with Ms Moody’s help, I’ve come up with 3 movies that Swanshurst movie buffs should check out. First, Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby— brilliant soundtrack, brilliant clothes (OMG) and a surprisingly good film. Forget the mediocre reviews—it’s just people who are too precious about the book. Next is the unfeasibly handsome Ryan Gosling in The Place Beyond the Pines. More art house than traditional Hollywood, this is a drama-come-thriller that expects the audience to think. Finally I present you with the sly, seductive Stoker. Enjoy the sexy southern gothic style, enjoy the bloodshed and the dry humour but most of all enjoy the fantastic Mia Wasikowska, as India Stoker, on her journey of self discovery.




Teenage Kicks I’m sure you’ve had conversations with your parents or your grandparents when they start to tell you about their youth, usually with the preface “It was different in our day”. I used to switch off at this stage, internally singing the latest Smiths tune*, whilst my face continued to smile and nod at whatever wisdom was being offered up. I admit it, I was a disrespectful youth and I haven’t improved much with age. Trouble is, it probably was different, especially for your grandparents or great grandparents. They didn’t have to put up with record levels of youth unemployment, a ‘flexible’ job market and student fees. But I digress. The idea of youth culture and of what it is to be a teenager really HAS changed dramatically over the last 50 years. It’s been an evolving process as teenagers claimed a greater voice in society and as corporations cottoned on to the huge profits to be made out of teenage desire. One of the best ways to map out this radical change is to look at culture, especially ‘popular culture’- music, TV, books and film. I’m generalising a bit but it’s fair to say that, up until the end of WW2, music and film had been aimed at adults. Music

began to change in response to the greater freedoms and material wealth that teenagers enjoyed. Just think of the energy and excitement of Rock and Roll. With a taste of what could be, teens If you want to learn about the changes in culture, social life and politics that led to the explosions in youth culture after WW2 try Jon Savage’s brilliant book Teenage: The Creation of Youth 1875-1945

wanted and demanded more. [Also note that Charts of record sales began in 1940 in the US & 1952 in the UK.] This trend only increased in intensity in 60s. Many of you will have seen pictures or videos of young girls going crazy over Elvis Presley or The Beatles. Music was increasingly becoming an important component of teenage identity. The music scene in the US also fed into and

*OK I admit it, I wasn’t that cool, I was probably singing the latest Heart song [Look them up!]


nourished the student protests over racism, women’s rights and the Vietnam war. As the decades have passed capitalism has learned ever better ways of incorporating the music of dissent and anger into ad campaigns and movie soundtracks but popular music can still sometimes retain its power to stir and inspire. Books and films are a little different. Quite obviously there is a serious history of children’s literature beginning in the nineteenth century, but even in the 1970s and 80s it would have been difficult to go to a school library and find anything like the range or depth of novels now produced for children and ‘young adults’. Teenagers in the 60s, 70s and 80s were much more likely to read adult fiction and genre fiction, especially crime, fantasy and sci-fi. In all of this they discovered real counter cultural currents. I’m fairly sure that the

lives—youth culture, relationships, sex, family break-ups, addiction and so on. Increasingly there is another aspect of the teen book market that instead, resembles trends at the cinema, as we get swathes of generic novels with fantasy and romance at their centre.

And so to cinema. Hollywood only cottoned on to the dramatic money making power of blockbusters in the late 1970s and this was the point when cinema began to be directed, more and more, at the youth market. Up until then films about school and college life were relatively rare but as the next few pages celebrate, films about teenagers would become a staple of cinema. At the same time TV began to change too, producing programmes for teens with more adult content— though something like Misfits would have been current generation of writers, so intent inconceivable even 20 years ago. on writing stories for teenagers, were It will be interesting to see if the children of the 60s and 70s, politicised recent student demonstrations around and determined to open up this the world will feed renewed energy into literature to the reality of teenage the cultural products of the 2010s.


A brief word on the 60s and 70s. There aren’t many people of any age, in the West at least, who haven’t seen Grease (1978). If you haven’t it’s still remarkably good fun. To Sir with Love (1967) starred the legendary Sidney Poitier as a black teacher in a 1960s inner city school. It’s still interesting though very sentimental. If (1968) and Kes (1969) are classics, and required viewing for any budding film buffs. The influence of John Hughes was massive during the 80s (and continues to be) so overleaf Khadija looks at his classic films in some depth. The three other major school films are arguably Dead Poets Society (see adjacent), Say Anything (the 23rd most romantic film of all time, according to the Guardian) and Gregory’s Girl. Having watched these two classic films again I can say that some of you may find them too old fashioned. What makes them relevant still, even if you guffaw at the weird clothes and ‘old fashioned’ attitudes, is that they both have charm and heart. Those two virtues, when so many teen films these days are crass and heartless, count for a lot. Both are tales of boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, but will girl fall for boy? John Cusak was at the start of his career when he made Say Anything (1989). He’s never been classically handsome but he makes up for that with charisma. In this he is a working class kick boxer falling for clever, slightly posh, Ione Skye. Gregory’s Girl (1981) is set in Scotland. John Gordon Sinclair is the awkward teenager beguiled by a girl, Dee Hepburn, a brilliant footballer keen to get on the school team . It’s funny, whimsical and left field and I hope you like it!


Dead Poet’s Society recently won Best Loved School Movie in a poll (of teachers) on Teacher’s TV. However, as Sarah Dimia insists it’s definitely a film you need to watch as a teenager. My reactions when seeing this film was: OMG Ethan Hawke and Robert Sean Leonard [look them up - Ed]. After that I started foaming at the mouth uncontrollably… “There is one thing that I fear more than death my friend, It is to die one day and realise that I did not live. And you? “. Dead Poet’s Society recounts the tale of young boys living in the prestigious boarding school Welton High, in America. The young boys studying there are destined to a promising future that has already been planned for them even before their birth. Many are from the richest families in the USA. For a few others sacrifices had to be made and hard decisions had to be taken; but in the end… men had to be made out of them. Teachers and parents expect conformity from all. This is one of those schools that produces America’s elite: doctors, lawyers, bankers, mathematicians, microbiologists, entrepreneurs and businessman. These prodigies’ education is based on 4 pillars known and engraved in every student’s heart as if set in stone: ‘Tradition, honour, discipline, excellence’ Their only set point: know this, understand this, and live like this. Everything is perfect, if somewhat miserable, until the arrival of the anti-conformist English teacher Mr Keating, which soon disrupts the fate of the academy forever. Charlie Dalton, Todd Anderson, Richard Cameron, Knox Overstreet and Neil Perry … none will escape the power of words and their significance. The Dead Poet’s Society has risen once more, for the best or the worst; it is for you to decide. But remember my friends, yes, please remember, and shout it out with a barbaric yawp - Carpe Diem! Seize the day. Seize YOUR moment. [S D]


‘’We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.’’ John Hughes—easily the best director of teen comedy there has ever been. You may not be familiar with his name so here’s a small introduction. He was a writer and director of numerous teen based comedy films in the 80’s such as The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off . However the most famous of all films would be Home Alone which most of you have probably seen and probably enjoyed because as it is still much funnier than most comedies today. Many of his films were released during the 80’s and most dealt with teen issues. His other films included Weird Science, Some Kind Of Wonderful and Pretty In Pink. Each film looked at the ups and downs of teenage life. Where Ferris Bueller‘s Day Off looked at the impulse in every teenager to have freedom and do what you want to do once in a while, The Breakfast Club looked at how teenagers are perceived as nothing but a stereotype by class mates and teachers. Pretty In Pink and Some Kind Of Wonderful looked at how relationships between rich and working class students might turn out and whether they could be successful. Comedy is sprinkled throughout every film but it’s the sense of realism in his films and how easy it is to relate to the characters that make them so watchable and still stand the test of time. I mean how can a film such as The Breakfast Club which largely consists of 5 people having varying conversations still be entertaining today? My favourites are the obvious ones; The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off but I also love Uncle Buck - just like Home Alone it is very, very funny. Sadly, John Hughes died in 2009 at the age of 59. However his legacy still lives on through his films, which still are referenced, quoted and even copied sometimes. If you don’t believe me check out last year’s Pitch Perfect which features The Breakfast Club. No doubt about it, John Hughes was the original pioneer of teen comedy.


The Breakfast Club is probably my favourite because its just so simple but so effective. The plot is that 5 stereotypically different high school students are put together in detention for 9 hours on a Saturday, the pretty girl, the outsider, the jock, the criminal and the geek. As the film progresses they all find out that they have very similar problems and despite their differences they manage to connect with each other about them on many different levels and we find out they are much more than their appearances let on. Besides the serious issues the film itself is very funny and entertaining and the whole cast give exceptional performances. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a lot more light hearted and funny but is still brilliant. The movie follows around a very popular high school student, Ferris, who decides to take a day off school and go into town with his best friend Cameron and girlfriend Sloane. Ferris is played by Matthew Broderick who manages to make a character who might have been irritating and annoying into someone actually very likeable and funny. Some Kind of Wonderful and Pretty in Pink are so similar in some aspects that it is actually a little frustrating. Both films deal with problems that occur between the rich kids and working class kids in high school. Pretty in Pink is the better film. It revolves around the character of Andie. She lives with her unemployed dad and right from the first scene you can tell that she is the adult of the house. At school there is a tension of social casts, here Andie is asked out by one of the richer boys named Blaine while at the same time her old friend Duckie is also in love with her but does not reveal it. Problems occur when Duckie finds out who she is about to date and warns her that she will get her heart broken. Some Kind of Wonderful had a similar plot but the ending was different (both films have slightly rushed endings I think). Here the story revolves around a working class teenager, Keith, who tries to get a date with popular girl Amanda. Keith like Andie also has a childhood friend and problems occur in both directions when he tries to get a date. All of these films are all well acted, scripted and directed to perfection. They are all entertaining and I have no doubt that even in today's day and age, teenagers will be able to relate with the characters and find these films entertaining.


I’ve already praised the wonderful Rushmore in a previous Bookworm—one of my favourite films ever. All you rebels should see Pump up the Volume. It’s hard to find on DVD these days but you can download it. My other favourite from the 90s is Election. Dry, sarcastic and ironic—it should suit you lot down to a T.


The 2000s gave us indie classics like Juno and Donnie Darko along side huge box office hits like School of Rock and High School Musical. These are films that are probably already familiar to you. ‘Mean girl’ Ms Hopkins writes about Mean Girls on the final page.


Brick (2005) is a ‘film noir’ set in a high school. It stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who you will probably recognise from Inception, (500) Days of Summer and The Dark Knight Rises. He plays Brendan a high school loner who receives a call of distress from his ex-girlfriend Emily (played by Emilie de Ravin) and two days later he finds her dead in a canal. So he decides to go on a hunt to find who exactly killed her and why. So, what do I mean by ’film noir’? Quoting Wikipedia: “stylish Hollywood crime dramas, particularly those that emphasize cynical attitudes and sexual motivations”. The film captures that mood really well and sets about reinventing and updating the genre with its high school setting. Plenty of phone boxes and late night phone calls feature and the soundtrack is brilliantly judged. The cast of stereotypical characters are all there - the hard-boiled detective, the bystander, the geek who helps him and the femme fatale are all perfect. Gordon-Levitt’s character starts by asking his friend ‘the Brain’ about Emily, he tells him she was trying to befriend the popular kids; he also asks him about some of the odd words Emily used during the phone conversation. His search leads him to very weird places and highly unlikable people: a dress up party where he meets the femme fatale (not to be trusted!), cue fights, mystery and intrigue. The acting is uniformly excellent and I think you’ll love this film. [K T]


I absolutely adored this film, and contrarily to what most people think I did not love it only because it stars two of my favourite actors (Denzel Washington and Ryan Gosling). This film is what I would call in French “un chefs-d’oeuvres”. Roughly translated as a masterpiece; in this film you are sure to find all the beauty and harmony of the human race. Because after all, aren’t we all one? Remember the Titans is based on a real life story, an American football team sees their white coach being replaced by a black coach (and no I am not showing any racial hatred, the sole and unique goal of the director was to show that we are all equal regardless of what we look like…). The footballers disapprove of the decision (to put it mildly). Even worst for the male teenagers, they also have to accept in to their team, black players! (My favourite scene would certainly be when Pete screams: “Black Power! Black Power! Black Power!” and then gets yelled at by Coach Boone…). The boys are then taken to a special training camp and will not be taken out of it, until they can all live together and abandon their prejudices. [S D]

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somewhat brittle, she joins an all-girl acapella group. I laughed all the way through, enjoyed the fabulous singing routines and was charmed by the romance/journey of self discovery plotline. Excellent entertainment. Right, make yourself some tea (as you sing to some of the songs you’ve just heard) and then back to the TV. There are few films that match the feel good factor of Back to the Future (1985). I’m sure many of you will have seen it on TV but if so watch it again. I defy you not to love it. It’s THE quintessential feel good school movie with time-travel, action, romance and rock n’ roll. Last up, as the sun sets - lets face it, I’m back. Three months has flown by you didn’t drag yourself out of bed till and if anything I’m even more amazing 2pm did you? - is Liberal Arts (2012) than I was in the Spring. starring two rising stars - Josh Radnor We’ll start with a triple bill. It’s the (How I Met Your Mother) and Elizabeth summer holiday’s - you can do what Olsen (Martha Marcy May Marlene) you want! First up is last year’s Pitch Radnor plays a 30-something college Perfect. Beca (Anna Kendrick) arrives at admissions officer, dissatisfied with his college, something of a loner and life who returns to his old university for the retirement of one of his professors. There he meets 19 year old Zibby (Olsen). They have an instant connection but will they become friends or something more? It’s about the lure of nostalgia, loving books and


growing up (even when you’re 35). director Louis Malle, this is the story of Now for some foreign filums! The first two boys, Julien and Jean, and their lives is just for the sixth formers as it has an at a boarding school during the winter of 1944 in occupied France. Malle evokes the pleasures and pains of growing up but looming over all their lives are the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps. If any of you fancy becoming a teacher take a look at these two films. The Class (2008) is set in an inner-city school in Paris. An affable male teacher tries to do 18 certificate, Battle Royale is the darker, bloodier cousin of The Hunger Games. Made in 2000 it investigates the unease in Japanese society about the deepening economic crisis and an emerging youth culture which railed against the conservatism and traditionalism of Japanese society. The film is set slightly in the future. Japan’s government has become increasingly his best for his class of working class fascistic and every year, one school class teenagers with origins from around the is sent to a remote island where they world. The kids are challenging but must fight to the death until only one rightly question his ideas and methods, student remains alive. This is an especially when he loses control . . . uncompromising film—as brutal and Etre et Avoir (2002) is very different:. shocking as it is literate and poetic; but It’s a documentary about a small it’s definitely something you should try primary school Puy-de-Dôme. This is to see as a teenager. Be warned though, what teaching could be like if you had to say the violence in this film is small mixed classes. The kids are aged 4 gratuitous would be a huge to 10 and there are only 15 of then in understatement! the class. It’s a simple, beautiful film Au Revoirs Les Enfants (1987) is a that also gives a great insight into rural modern classic. Directed by legendary France.


Mr Stock: Misanthrope Believe it or not, it wasn’t actually that long since I was a youth (of sorts). By that, I mean I was young. There was very little else about me that was actually very youthful at all. I wore slippers and tweed, carried a pipe, complained about the cultural and social state of our country. I was not a youth, I was an old man. You see, I never really understood the whole concept of being a kid. I couldn’t wait to be a grown up and become my own person. Homework? Mommy and Daddy’s rules? I was desperate to get that all out of the way. I wanted to drive, have my own house, moan about the ‘youth-of-today’ while not actually being one, and eventually it all happened for me. I don’t really wear tweed anymore. I lost my pipe too, and although I still own slippers, they’re not half as a good as my old pair. In fact I spend a lot of my time playing video games and listening to Hip-Hop. What the hell happened? I became an adult, and started acting like a kid. How curious getting old is.

Ms Hopkins: Evil genius Next time you’re about to say something cruel about one of your mates at school, think about the fate of Regina George, the meanest, most malicious ‘plastic’ in the film Mean Girls (if you’ve not seen it I won’t spoilt it, but I will tell you it ain’t pretty). Now, being an evil genius myself (but not a mean one; it’s an important distinction), I do have some admiration for Regina. Not the nasty catty stuff, but the masterstroke she pulls with the ‘Burn Book’ to get her revenge on Cady and the ‘Army of Skanks’ – it’s pretty clever and I didn’t see it coming (despite my capacity for supreme acts of cunning). In the end though she gets her comeuppance, but to be honest I don’t think ‘The Plastics’ were the only meanies in the story. Janis and Damien are pretty nasty about Regina and Co, and just because someone else starts it – doesn’t mean you should rise to it! So remember, next time that dig is about to trip of your tongue think about what you’re really doing. Are you just trying to make yourself feel big by making someone else feel small? In the words of Cady ‘Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier and calling somebody stupid doesn’t make you any smarter’.


Patrick Ness: Genius? Notice anything different Ness fans? It’s the question mark after ‘Genius’. Mr Ness has finally disappointed me. His new novel The Crane Wife is . . . underwhelming. Ursula Le Guin’s review sums it up well. Better news comes in the form of the new covers for the Chaos Walking Trilogy AND the fact that each novel now comes with a new short story so if you don’t own a copy, now is the time to treat yourself. His new YA novel is out in the autumn. It’s called More Than This . Fingers crossed. As always you can get regular updates on his website.

Mr Beniston: Angry The recent attack in Woolwich has horrified everyone but the political and media reaction has been scandalous. I’m not religious but I’m always very careful to separate the religion from the individual AND to try and understand why people do awful things. The Klu Klux Klan didn’t lynch black people because they were Christians but because they were (and are) scumbags with abominable racist ideas. Look around the world every day and you’ll see all manner of people committing terrible crimes. Most of those crimes are committed by regimes and nation states with incredible power. Most others are by individuals or groups who will have found justification for their actions, however misguided, in the horror, inequality and unfairness they witness in their immediate surroundings or the terrors committed elsewhere in the world. This has nothing to with their religion as almost all the people in the world - around 90% - hold religious ideas! People hold those religious ideas because they want a sense of community and want to make sense of the world. Next time the British or US government does something you disagree with, swap the word ‘British’ or ’US’ for ‘Christian’ or ‘terrorist’ and see how the sentence pans out if you want to see the discrimination and anti-Muslim bias at the heart of the media coverage.


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