What Happened to Art ? Letter from regular reader Leonardo Theodopolous
Summertime 9a - Jackson Pollock
In 2001 the £20,000 annual Turner Prize for art was awarded to Martin Creed who exhibited an empty room with lights that flicker on and off every five seconds. Enthusiasts had called it a statement against the clutter and consumerism in the world. Other short-listed artists were: Mike Nelson, who works with rubbish; Richard Billingham, who exhibited photos and videos of his family, notably his alcoholic father who lives in a Glasgow slum; and Isaac Julien, who exhibited short films featuring homosexual cowboys. (Yee-ha!). So, what has happened to art? The question is not new. Remember when art used to be something that the average person found very difficult to produce? - one needed to be “Artistic”. Not any more however. Now, it seems, the essential requirement is the ability to talk about what your art means. It’s like a huge game of poker and almost everyone is bluffing. Modern art thrives on the ambiguity of interpretation. As a modern artist, it will surely raise your profile if your Interpretation of your work takes longer to explain than your artwork took to complete. As for the tools of the trade: for god sake don’t use a paintbrush! Use some elaborate catapult system, or the leg of dog. Hell, you might not even choose to use paint. You could use compounds produced by the body( there’s surely a limited colour palette though, and of course it’s already been done). Ok, so when did all this self delusional, self absorbed nonsense begin? When did this monstrous game of Call My Bluff take hold? Well, for me, the 20th century has to be the springboard. We have to start somewhere, so I’ve chosen to begin with Matisse and Picasso at the start the century.
Henri Matisse - La Danse, Oil on Canvas, 1909
…you’d stick it on the fridge door so not to hurt his feelings. He’ll soon do another one! Pablo Picasso – Les Demoiselles d’Avignon, oil on canvas, 1907
…he really can’t paint women - and there’s a hand coming out of that woman’s head! At first glance, you may think that these two paintings were produced by a couple of plumbers on an Art Therapy course; but, unfortunately for us, they are actually a couple of leading lights within the art world - two of the greats in fact. From here, things get a lot worse (or for me, more hilarious) before they get any better: Now, you should really prepare yourself for this next one. Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain, Porcelean, 1917. “Duchamps's most famous works is widely seen as an icon of twentiethcentury art. The original, which is now lost, consisted of a standard urinal, laid flat on its back rather than upright in its usual position, and signed 'R. Mutt 1917'”.
He really is taking the ****. This must be a bluff!
Moving quickly on, Richard Hamilton was widely regarded as the founder of pop art.
This guy hasn’t even painted anything; he’s just stuck things down!! His highly acclaimed 1956 collage, Just What Is It That Makes Today’s Homes So Different, So Appealing? reflects the influence of popular american culture. For me, this kind of pop art is something that children produce at school when they are first old enough to work safely with scissors and glue.
David Hockney - A Bigger Splash 1967
This is another highly influencial work. Hockney’s inspiration for this piece was photographing naked young men in a swimming pool. He really is rubbish at painting water(and naked young men). Still, I bet he had fun. Now, I know what you’re thinking: Andy Warhol. When is he going to mention Warhol? You can’t mention Pop Art without saying something about Warhol – wasn’t he in The Doors movie? Didn’t he also manage The Velvet Underground? Andy Warhol – Eight Elvises, silkscreen, 1963
This one sold for $1,000,000 in 2009
I really don’t mind Andy Warhol that much. At least most of his work is quite colourful and you can usually tell what it is. The brilliant thing about Warhol was he knew he was bluffing and didn’t talk much about his work. Andy was so good at art that he could telephone the guys that did his prints and tell them to run some off in different colours. He didn’t even have to be there. Kerching! He did also coined the phrase “15 minutes of fame” Now, there is an absolute wealth of unbelievable garbage that has been produced in the name of art. I would quickly like to provide some examples of a few pieces that just make me laugh. The Return 1956-8 Philip Guston.
Yes, it actually took two years to paint this!
Willem de Kooning – Mariyn Munroe, oil on canvas, 1954
…an uncanny resemblance I’m sure you’ll agree. Robert Rauschenberg. Canyon. 1959
This is part sculpture/part painting. And yes! That’s it finished!
The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors, even. Sculpture, Duchamp,1915-23
Remember that eccentric inventor/artist guy from the TV show Vision On?? Popples. Sculpture, Jeff Koons, 1988
(Yeah!!!! It’s Popples!!!!) In case you are wondering, Jeff Koons isn’t a 10 year old girl.
Alas, it’s time to return to the Turner prize, where we began. The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living. Damien Hirst 1991
I have to confess that I actually like this piece. It’s cool. Probably because sharks are cool.
Hirst's now infamous Tiger shark encased in formaldehyde did not win the Turner prize, but remains that year's standout nominee. It has since become one of the 1990's most iconic, if controversial, artworks and was just the beginning of Hirst's work with the medium. A later piece, Two Fucking and Two Watching, featuring a rotting cow and bull, was banned by New York Health officials because of fears of "vomiting among the visitors”. Perhaps one of the most famous pieces in the history of the Turner Prize is My Bed by Tracey Emin, 1999. Emin's installation of her stained bed and detritus such as soiled underwear and condoms, was not actually the winner though it is commonly thought to be.
…she really is a filthy bitch!
“commonly thought to be the winner” That’s an interesting notion. If Emin’s bed was commonly thought to be the winner, what does that say about art? Would it suggest that her installation showed such unquestionable artistic prowess and charm that it surely must have won? Turner Prize 2013 The four artists shortlisted for the Turner Prize this year are Laure Prouvost, Tino Sehgal, David Shrigley and Lynette Yiadom-Boakye. Heard of any of them? - didn’t think so. This year will see the first ever nomination for a "live encounter", for Tino Sehgal's work involving conversations with visitors. This is how far we have come. This guy hasn’t produced anything at all! (or has he?). NO! HE HASN’T! His art is your “live encounter” with him. He stands in the Tate and the public just walk up and hopefully punch him in the face. My money is on David Shrigley.for catching a dog, killing it, stuffing it, and putting it in the Kelvingrove Museum with a thought provoking sign. I’m Dead – 2010. David Shrigley
As father Dougal Maguire would say: “It’s all just a bit of a laugh”