The Gauntlet -- December 2022

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NEWS: ARTS: LIFESTYLE: SU CAMPUS HOLIDAY HAMPERS STAFF ALBUM PICKS 2022 ANDREA’S BOOK NOOK p. 3 p. 9 p. 12 DECEMBER 12, 2022 The University of Calgary’s independent student newspaper Vol. 62, Issue No. 8 THE GAUNTLET

Twitter: @GauntletUofC Instagram: @gauntletuofc TikTok: @GauntletUofC Online: www.thegauntlet.ca

Almost at the finish line

Ah, the end of the year — no time is filled with more mixed feelings than this one. Holidays are coming up, but at the same time finals are on their way. However, a period of uncertainty doesn’t mean that it necessarily has to be bad. Sometimes the last stride feels more strenuous than the whole race. That is why it is more important to see how the starting line faded behind you than it is to focus on the finish line.

This edition aims to honour accomplishments that we are proud of as much as it is about acknowledging the chapters that came to a close. Like the last edition of Andrea’s Book Nook, one of our favourite columns we have had the pleasure of publishing. For so long it has been a relaxation corner for many of our readers to pause the year-round rush and catch up on some essential books. No

other time is as important to learn how and when to relax as this one. Every student wants to be finished with their very last assignments and finals but falls into the trap of not understanding how to balance mental health and studying.

It is also a time to laugh and discover yourself. There is no need to rely on next year’s resolutions to make the most out of the time that we have today. University is more than a learning opportunity — it is an experience. There are always opportunities to come across something that will remind you of the importance of cultivating the euphoric excitement of finding something new to engage in and learn about.

It is also a time to reflect on the good and the bad that happened this year. Oftentimes our brains will fixate on the harsh times that we went through and forget about the good things

that surround us. It takes energy to remember the good that we have done, but it is always worth it. Like the Adopta-Door campaign, which aims to raise money to build and maintain houses in the city. It is just as important to learn from the bad that happens as well.

Finally, it really is a time for celebration. Celebrate our wins and the wins of others. Celebrate the small accomplishments as much as the big ones. Sometimes they come fast and sometimes you have to fight for longer than you thought you would. Like the Dinos men swimming team winning their first Canada West title in almost nine years, ensuring their place in Dinos history while charting their way to even more victories to come.

University can sometimes be daunting. We’re in a period of our lives where changes surround us, and yet, it helps us to

understand who we represent. We have to stay true to who we are. So, celebrate it in a way that is meaningful to you. Surround yourself with the people who are important to you. Or take this time to reflect on the things that made you whole. There is no wrong way of doing it. This holiday season, gift yourself with the care, compassion, and praise that you deserve. From all of us at the Gauntlet, happy holidays.

MASTHEAD

Editor-in-Chief: Sophia Lopez eic@thegauntlet.ca

News Editors: Julieanne Acosta Eula Mengullo news@thegauntlet.ca

Opinions & Humour Editor: Ava Zardynezhad opinions@thegauntlet.ca

Arts & Science Editor: Sheroog Kubur arts@thegauntlet.ca

Sports & Lifestyle Editor: Rodrigo Verney sports@thegauntlet.ca

Voices Editor: Aymen Sherwani voices@thegauntlet.ca

Visuals Editors: Megan Koch Valery Perez visuals@thegauntlet.ca

Layout Editor: Ramiro Bustamante Torres layout@thegauntlet.ca

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Online Editor: Masoud Karimi Fatemi online@thegauntlet.ca

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Contributor: Mackenzie Ashcroft // Nazeefa Ahmed // Anjali Choudhary // Sylvia Lopez // Saeed Abdollahi // Eric Hilbrecht // Malea Nguyen // Nimra Amir // Jorja Strickland // Andrea Silva // Ayesha Shozib // Radhya Comar // Furor Arma Ministrat Room 319, MacEwan Students’ Centre 2500 University Drive NW Calgary, AB T2N 1N4 http://www.thegauntlet.ca

The Gauntlet is the official student newspaper of the University of Calgary, published bi-weekly throughout the year by the Gauntlet Publications Society an autonomous, incorporated body. Membership in the society is open to undergraduate students at the U of C, but all members of the university community are encouraged to contribute. Stories under the Opinions and Voices sections contained herein are those of the individual writers, and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire Gauntlet staff. Editorials are chosen by the majority of the editorial board. The Gauntlet is a forum open to all U of C students but may refuse any submission judged to be racist, sexist, homophobic, libelous, or containing attacks of a strictly personal nature. We reserve the right to edit for brevity. Grievances regarding the Gauntlet follow a three-step process which requires written decisions from the Editor, the GPS Board of Directors, and the Ombudsboard. The complete Grievance Policy is online at: thegauntlet.ca. The Gauntlet offices are located on Treaty 7 land.

The Gauntlet is printed on recycled paper and uses an ink made leftover icing from cookie decorating. We urge you to recycle the Gauntlet by using it to clean up the mess left behind in the office.

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Golden Spatula – Jorja Strickland Jorja has been contributing to many sections during her short time at the Gauntlet. We are always excited to see her next piece and are very grateful for the work she has done. We hope to see her grow as a writer.
The
Cover Photo by Mackenzie Ashcroft

SU Campus Food Bank offers students holiday food hampers

In the holiday spirit as well, we want to ensure that everyone can enjoy time with family and friends without financial stress.”

The holiday hampers include special holiday favourite foods and just last year, 38 students requested holiday hampers. Students can request the holiday hamper as an addon to a regular food hamper or as a stand-alone hamper. The SU Campus Food Bank packs its food hampers with nutritionally balanced foods, but the hampers are subject to availability and donations.

ly means. Food security can mean a variety of different things to people, but Tri notes the importance of being able to recognize it.

“More importantly, we encourage students to learn more about what food security means. Food security can look like struggling to concentrate in class because of skipping breakfast. It can also look like struggling to access the nearest grocery store because of commute barriers. The meaning of food security

is so broad and vast, and it is critical to recognize that food security can look different to different people,” wrote Tri.

To donate to the SU Campus Food Bank, drop off donations to the Information/Lost Centre in MacEwan Student Centre. For monetary donations, visit the SU Campus Food Bank 2022-2023 GoFundMe or mail cheques to the SU’s main address which can be found at www.su.ucalgary.ca/contact/.

The Students’ Union (SU) Campus Food Bank has announced the return of their holiday food hampers. The holiday hampers will be available upon request, with the last day to request on December 12.

In a statement to the Gauntlet, campus food bank coordinator Thomas Tri talked about the importance of the holiday hampers for students.

“We notice that during the holidays — approaching Christmas — there is an uptake on demand for food hampers. It makes sense, considering that people are coming together and celebrating the holidays,” wrote Tri. “Additionally, during this time, personal finances are tight because of budgeting for Christmas gifts. Because of these reasons, we wanted to provide a holiday hamper to ensure that our clients have adequate and ample food to sustain the holiday season.

“Students can play a large role by donating canned and dry goods to the campus food bank. There is a donation bin in front of the information/lost and found centre in Mac Hall. We also receive donations here at Volunteer Services, also in Mac Hall. Students can also give monetary donations through our GoFundMe,” wrote Tri.

With food insecurity at an alltime high for students, Tri encourages the campus community to educate themselves on what it real-

HomeSpace combats the affordable housing crisis through their Adopt-a-Door fundraiser

Local charity, HomeSpace, is launching its first annual Adopt-a-Door fundraising campaign to tackle the rising costs and affordable housing crisis Calgarians are currently facing.

HomeSpace’s mission is to help people in Calgary create more affordable housing as inflation continues to raise costs for common necessities — making it harder for the city’s vulnerable communities to avoid homelessness. The Adopta-Door fundraiser makes its debut this year, with the hopes of it being able to combat the affordable housing crisis during the holiday season.

The charity owns 847 units of housing in over 33 properties throughout Calgary, and serves more than 900 residents. In an interview with the Gauntlet, the communications advisor at HomeSpace, Emily Campbell, discussed the reason why HomeSpace thought it was necessary to start up this campaign.

“Inflation is increasing costs, so if we’re going to keep building, we’re going to have to do some fundraising so that we’re also able to upkeep the units that we have,” Campbell explained. “We have people living in poor conditions, so it’s important to us that the housing that we provide is good, safe, comfortable and appropriate for our residents.”

HomeSpace explains that supporters can donate based on the cost of service they want to provide for a low-income household. This means that donations collected can go to smaller fixes such as replacing a light fixture to completely renovating a unit. Campbell says that all donations no matter the size help.

“[For] people who are financially comfortable, I do encourage you to donate to the project,” she said. “But even more, we’re asking people to share with their communities, and explain why affordable housing is important for you and your community and how it impacts everyone.”

This year especially, it has been very difficult for many of the Uni-

versity of Calgary student community to find affordable housing for the academic year. Campbell believes that this fundraiser affects everyone equally, including students.

“We have a lot of partners from lots of different social serving agencies, from family shelters to youth shelters, and everyone is full, which is a really scary prospect,” she said. “So affordable housing is top of mind for a lot of Calgarians, I’m sure it is for students who do face financial precarity while they’re trying to get through school.

“If you can see that you’re regularly paying more than 30 per cent of your income for the housing that you’re in, you’re no longer in affordable housing,” Campbell continued. “Anything more than 30 per cent of your income is considered unaffordable.”

HomeSpace’s recent downtown conversion project, the Neoma building, is Calgary’s first office-to-affordable-housing which opened in late September. This project took over a vacant office

tower and now offers 82 units of affordable housing, along with an Inn from the Cold emergency shelter and transitional housing for families facing homelessness. With Adopt-a-Door, HomeSpace hopes to continue working on projects that help out Calgarians.

“If you want to support affordable housing and you want to support the mission of HomeSpace — which is that housing is a human

right and everyone in our community deserves a home — then you can either donate, speak to your elective representatives, or like and share our content on social media to really get the word out.

“Calgarians have never needed affordable housing more than right now,” concluded Campbell.

To learn more about Adopt-aDoor and how to donate, visit www. homespace.org/adopt-a-door.

news@thegauntlet.ca @GauntletUofC NEWS » DECEMBER 12, 2022 | 3
HOLIDAY HAMPERS »
Julieanne The
last day to request a holiday hamper is Dec. 12.
MACKENZIE ASHCROFT HomeSpace serves more than 900 calgarian residents. SOPHIA LOPEZ MACKENZIE ASHCROFT Students can help by donating canned and dry goods.

The Energy Transition Centre opens its doors for student involvement

On November 8, the University of Calgary, in partnership with Innovate Calgary, launched the Energy Transition Centre, inviting academics, students, and industry personnel to take part in researching and innovating clean transition technologies for business. The centre will also support start-ups to commercialize these technologies to compete in the private sector.

“Along with our partners, this one-of-a-kind initiative nurtures emerging startups and their founders by de-risking and highgrades energy transition technologies in collaboration with industry, academics, students, researchers, end users and the community,” reads a statement on their website.

In an interview with the Gauntlet the centre’s associate director, Puneet Mannan, spoke

about his role as an activating agent, stating the U of C’s role in being part of the energy transition sector.

“My role focused on technology commercialization,” said Mannan. “I will help monetize the intellectual property assets at the University of Calgary and I will bring value back to the university so the institution has a greater role in the ecosystem than just being a post secondary institution or an academic institution.”

Mannan hopes that the centre will harness clean energy methods to add to Alberta’s oil and gas industry, thus making clean transition a collaborative effort than an opposing one.

“Transition doesn’t mean that we are polarizing, and that we are going to be dismantling the oil and gas industry,” said Mannan. “You will be surprised that many of the key supporters that we have on the energy transition side are the big oil and gas players, such as Suncor and PC

Energy.

“Transition means that we are looking for a better way of doing what we already do well,” Mannan continued. “So, from the perspective of the oil and gas sector, it might mean that we come up with new or better ways of extracting resources from underground using, let’s say, a combination of renewable or geothermal energy.”

Mannan encourages students of all majors and education levels to get involved with the centre’s goals, from researching the social effects of energy transition to being involved in the startups that are creating the technologies.

“Undergrad students have capstone projects in their final years and I’m making an appeal for all of them to get involved as I have a partnership with the Financial Institution,” said Mannan. “They are looking for some notable projects, research ideas, papers related to energy transition and sustainability. So some of those

focus areas they would be interested in are the social impacts of energy transition, and indigenous ways of knowing. Hopefully, we will also be announcing some training and internship opportunities within the next year.”

Engineering students and other STEM majors are encouraged to attend events happening at the centre to find internship and work opportunities within their specialization.

“Students can come to events happening in our space related to young professionals,” said Mannan. “Come over, participate in those events, and be part of the ecosystem. Try to understand what the needs of the industry are, and try to position your careers according to those needs.”

Students with well-thoughtout ideas are encouraged to reach out to Mannan directly. Any other questions or queries about internships can be addressed to the general email listed on their website.

U of C introduces new online module to further campus reconciliation efforts

The University of Calgary has introduced a new online module on Indigenous history and culture called “Beginning the Journey Towards Reconciliation.” The course is offered by the Office of Human Resources in partnership with the Office of Indigenous Engagement.

In an interview with the Gauntlet, Lauren Remple, human resources representative on the development of the course, speaks about its significance to the campus community in forwarding reconciliation efforts.

“It’s a three hour and a half course and it’s open for all staff and students,” said Remple. “It’s very interactive, so there’s a number of opportunities for learners to participate in activities, as well as journal their thoughts on the course [with]

some prompting questions.”

The course begins with pedagogy behind land acknowledgements, the different terminologies of Indigenous peoples in Canada — the distinction between First Nations, Métis and Inuits — and addresses common misconceptions of Indigenous peoples by unpacking these myths. It also covers the history and legacy of residential schools while giving the opportunity to learn how to actively contribute to reconciliation.

“We wrap things up with an opportunity for learners to review a website called 150 Acts of Reconciliation,” said Remple. “This website provides folks with tangible or bite-sized pieces of ways that they can contribute to reconciliation.

“[Afterwards] the course also [offers] an invitation for learners to continue their learning journey. The course being called

Beginning the Journey [so] it’s really meant to be a foundation-

al course that’s an inch deep in a mile-wide of the Indigenous experience,” Remple continued.

Speaking about the inspiration behind the initiative, Remple discussed that this was both in accordance with the calls-to-action of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission as well as a response to the campus Indigenous strategy, ii’ taa’poh’to’p.

“This course answers predominantly in response to callto-action number 92 within the Truth and Reconciliation Commission which states that employers should be providing opportunities for the staff to learn more about the history and legacy of colonization in Canada,” said Remple.

“It’s also a more granular level response to several of the recommendations within our Indigenous strategy ii’ taa’poh’to’p, which are around building intercultural capacity from an Indigenous lens across

our campus,” she continued.

Prior to the course being converted into a self-paced module, the Office of Human Resources also led an in-person workshop called “Towards Reconciliation, the History and Legacy of Colonization of Indigenous Peoples in Canada.” Part of the reason the course was introduced virtually was so that it would be a flexible learning opportunity

that could encompass the wider campus community.

The three hour, non-credit module is open for both staff and students at the U of C. Students can access the course through Enterprise Learning by logging into their myUofC portal.

To learn more about the course and the Indigenous strategy, visit the U of C website.

4 | DECEMBER 12, 2022 news@thegauntlet.ca STUDENT INVOLVEMENT »
Pictured above is the Ampersand building. credit AVATAR INNOVATIONS The course is available to staff and students. VALERY PEREZ

VOICES »

don’t care, I’m still saying Merry Christmas”: Here are reasons why

Whyexactly does the “Happy Holidays” vs. “Merry Christmas” debate still exist? The common phrase “I don’t care, I’m still going to say Merry Christmas” is now more of a reflection of ignorance towards the existence of other concurrent celebrations. If it isn’t

ignorance, then it’s the outright admission that Christmas is just more important than everything else.

Like babies who struggle with issues of object permanence, people who refuse to say anything other than “Merry Christmas” struggle to acknowledge the existence of people who celebrate holidays other than Christmas because their circles are overtly homogeneous.

It’s a very obvious tell when such people get upset at young baristas or retail workers attempting to be inclusive by saying “Happy Holidays” — arguing that the phrase takes away the nostalgia from the season. Instead, it communicates that their anger is rooted in no longer being the centre of attention. They fail to understand how a more inclusive phrase makes everyone feel the festive cheer. To really cement the idea that Christmas should no longer be the centre of attention, here are several other holidays that people observe this season.

Diwali — November 12:

Around 1.2 million Canadians celebrate Diwali every year — the festival of lights that finds its origins in India and commemorates the victory of forces of light and good over evil and darkness. Diwali is observed by families through the lighting of diyas and, similar

to New Year’s Eve, it is observed by many through fireworks. However, unlike New Year’s Eve, Environment Canada issued an air quality statement this year, warning of high levels of air pollution as Diwali approached — something that has never been done in anticipation for when the ball drops.

Hanukkah — December 18 to 22:

In Canada, there are over 391,665 observants of Judaism who celebrate Hanukkah in remembrance of the Maccabean Revolt. The holiday being an important cornerstone of Jewish history and identity — as it tells the story of religious persecution and the struggle for freedom — is overshadowed by the glitz and glamour of mass consumerism that follows Christmas.

Shab-e-Yalda and the Winter Solstice at large — December 20-22: There are over 213,160 Can-

adians who mark Shab-e-Yalda, the Persian rendition of the winter solstice. This phenomenon is observed across a multitude of cultures, which includes families getting together to recite poems alongside eating nuts and pomegranates — which symbolizing life and sunrise coming after the longest night of the year. Indigenous peoples celebrate the Winter Solstice as well — as a conscious effort towards decolonization. European settlers brought Christmas to Canada, what Indigenous peoples know to be as “Turtle Island,” and enforced their own customs over traditional ones that have been observed for millennia.

To be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying “Merry Christmas” — what’s wrong is assuming that the greeting applies to everyone. It’s time to decolonize the festive season and make the holiday cheer something everyone can feel.

@GauntletUofC
6 | DECEMBER 12, 2022
Aymen
“I
you shouldn’t
Happy Holidays is a more inclusive saying to use. AYMEN SHERWANI

Urban sprawl, political will and money: The

climate progress

In November 2021, Calgary’s city council voted to declare a climate emergency and released numerous calls to action to reduce our climate impact. However, over one year later, climate experts and activists continue to criticize the city for their lack of funding and meaningful action toward sustainability. Living in Alberta, many face the internal battle between wanting a profitable future from our rich oil and gas sector and worrying that we may not have a real future if we continue on this path. However, Calgary — as a large area both in space and population — has its own concerns with sustainability.

In a webinar titled Child Health and Wellness Seminar: Sustainability Matters: Prospects for a Just Transition in Calgary in a Time of Crisis, an associate professor emeritus at the University of Calgary and senior researcher with the Sustainable Calgary Society outlined some of the key concerns related to Calgary’s sustainable development and broad plans to tackle them.

Dr. Noel Gerard Keough began by voicing serious concerns regarding the City of Calgary’s tendency to build residential and commercial properties in the vast area of land we have.

“We’re quite a spread-out city, and that has serious implications,” he said. Comparing it to New York City, he claims that “there’s a little over a million people in Calgary, and we occupy the same area of land as the 10 million plus people in New York City.”

Although New York City is often ridiculed for their absurdly small apartments and living spaces, its reputation as a walkable city is idealized and praised. Calgary, in comparison, often requires individuals to drive because of its spread-out nature. Some communities in Calgary do not even have access to a viable transit route and are bound to their cars. As a result, we emit large amounts of pollution. However, in a city that consistently hits below -30° Celsius in the winter, the foresight into global warming problems five years down the road is overshadowed by the impending cold you will feel in the next five minutes if choosing to

trifecta of evil in hindering Calgary’s

walk or wait for the LRT.

This is not new news, however. In 2016, former Mayor Naheed Nenshi introduced legislation to combat this urban sprawl. Nonetheless, according to Keough’s data, the growth has continued to persist and become more detrimental. Why do we fail to see change despite there being individuals in power that are passing environmental policies? Keough believes that our main issue is rooted in money and political will.

“The problem in our city, as we see it, is not that there’s not a lot of policy that’s trying to deal with these issues that I speak about, but the problem has been backing up policy intentions with budgets and work plans,” said Keough. “One of

the reasons we believe that we haven’t been able to turn policy into action is because of the influence of money in politics.”

He found that much of the funding in municipal politics is funnelled in from the development industry — the very people that continue to build houses, contribute to the urban sprawl and heavily profit from it.

Adding on to the notion of ineffective politics, Keough claimed that in federal politics, “because of the first-past-the-post system (FPTP) [...] the will of the people, or the perspective of the average Calgarian, the average Albertan, is not being represented in Ottawa because of this skewed system.”

The issue of the FPTP electoral

system and its lack of representation for the Canadian public has been a long-standing issue in this country. In fact, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau campaigned on reforming this system in his 2015 election platform, but why would he change a system that benefits him and allows him to get re-elected? Unfortunately, the issue of money and political will is limited neither to Calgary nor the issue of sustainability.

Keough underlines the importance of transforming our governance systems in order to be able to work towards sustainable development in our city and country. And, he says, this needs to be done immediately.

“We’re seeing that the window of opportunity for a gradual transition in our own city, to a sustainable future, has closed in our opinion based on our analysis. We must now embark on a rapid transition or face real prospects of significantly compromised quality of life and livelihoods, and a precarious future for our children and their city,” said Keough.

Only time will tell if Calgary is ready for such a transition.

Life. My Story.”: Multisensory Studio showcases the work of disabled storytellers

On November 28, the Multisensory Studio hosted “Youth Digital Storytelling Gala. My Life. My Story.” — a night aimed to celebrate disabled filmmakers, who used video as a medium to tell the stories integral to their lived experiences, with the help of researchers from the University of Calgary’s Faculty of Social Work as well as Calgary SCOPE

The gala featured and celebrated content made by neurodiverse creators of different abilities and recruited from all across Canada. Showcasing their experiences through self-directed videos, the gala aimed at delivering their first-person stories and realities about living with disabilities or being neurodiverse. One creator filmed the entirety of their story as a continuous shot of themselves narrating their

life in American Sign Language (ASL). Experiences across the creators involved also varied. For instance, an older creator made the focal point of his film about his upbringing in the Canadian Maritimes and how living with dyslexia impacted his life, whereas, another told their story about how they feel out of place in a

world that pushes neurodivergent and diversely-abled individuals to the margins of society.

“I was built for the world, but the world wasn’t built for me,” is the title of Kelsey Culbert’s film, which focuses on her advocacy work in educating others about disability inclusivity and how it can be fostered in schools and

in the arts. “Inclusion doesn’t just mean equipment — it simply means the attitude and the people that are involved in being able to demonstrate inclusion.”

Inclusion, thus, is more than just a statement on equity, diversity and all the other buzzwords. It is a mindset that must be actively embedded within policies and budgets — a recognition that diversely-abled individuals also occupy these spaces, and that their presence should be treated as something other than a novelty.

The organization itself, Multisensory Studio, is dedicated to providing a space to create and share stories with the senses. It showcases artistic work made through multi-sensory mediums to convey knowledge and research. To the studio, the importance of such an endeavour lies in being able to make the arts become more accessible for the disability community.

“Compared to non-disabled people, disabled people experience disproportionately higher rates of abuse, poverty, unemployment, and have lower access to education and housing,” says Dr. Kathleen Sitter, the organizer of this initiative. “The lives of individuals with disabilities are also massively shaped by institutions, attitudes, [as well as] social and historical understandings — perspectives of disabled people have been excluded from decision-making that impacts their lives.”

If there were any takeaways from the “My Life. My Story.” gala, it’s that everyone has the right to be a creator. Everyone has the right to have their voices heard — to create works of art and media that make their lived experiences more widely known. Only through exposure and accessibility can we then foster spaces that seek to accommodate the disabled community.

DECEMBER 12, 2022 | 7 thegauntlet.ca/category/voices STORYTELLING »
SUSTAINABILITY »
“My
The gala showcasing the storytellers was held Nov. 28. MEGAN KOCH Calgary has sustainability concerns. MEGAN KOCH
Editors: Megan Koch & Valery Perez visuals@thegauntlet.ca @GauntletUofC VISUALS » 8 | DECEMBER 12, 2022 Visuals WINTER Feature VALERY PEREZ — VISUALS EDITOR MEGAN KOCH — VISUALS EDITOR MALEA NGUYEN — SOCIAL MEDIA ASSISTANT MACKENZIE ASHCROFT — VISUALS ASSISTANT SYLVIA LOPEZ — VISUALS ASSISTANT SAEED ABDOLLAHI — VOLUNTEER ERIC HILBRECHT — VOLUNTEER CHILLING PICS »

ARTS & SCIENCE »

Gauntlet staff picks for best albums of 2022

With the end of another year comes yet another round-up. This was a big year for music, bringing something for everyone — from die-hard music fans to casual listeners. We got albums that elicited deep introspection and albums that had us breaking our souls at the discotheque. The Gauntlet staff took some time to reminisce about all the music that came out this year and pick our personal favourites.

MOTOMAMI + — Rosalía

The MOTOMAMI+ album came out a couple of months ago after MOTOMAMI came out in March — a day after my birthday. So it was basically, in my opinion, a personal gift. This album is so good and so unique, as she combines different genres of music like flamenco, bachata, and mambo. Rosalía always gives 100 per cent to her music along with her choreography. I’ve been a huge fan since she released her first album El Mal Querer in 2018, and this album really satisfied my new-music craving.

INFINITE DREAM — Bazzi

To be honest with you, I’ve been waiting for a new album from Bazzi since Cosmic in 2018. I could listen to the entire Cosmic tracklist without skipping any of them (“Beautiful” and “BRB” on repeat, if you know, you know). Needless to say, I highly anticipated Bazzi’s comeback after that four-year hiatus — it’s been way too long. He’s also one of the few people I’d actually pay to listen to live aside from Taylor Swift. I’m not a big concert girl but if he were to do a tour in the country, I’d definitely be down for it.

Harry’s House — Harry Styles

To be honest, I wasn’t a huge fan of Harry Styles’s 2019 album Fine Line — and maybe it’s because “Watermelon Sugar” wouldn’t stop getting stuck in my head and I got annoyed so take that with a grain of salt. There are not a lot of albums that I can play on repeat without losing my mind, but his new album has all-around good vibes and fun

beats with the type of songs that I wouldn’t mind having stuck in my head 24/7.

Supernova — Nova Twins

These two women understand what makes punk music punk. Black punk duo Nova Twins released their second album this year and it was everything I could have wanted and more. They’re boisterous with their music — bordering on a kind of arrogance that you can’t help but watch. Each song is an experiment within the world of Nova Twins, incorporating elements of punk, hip hop and grime to create an album that transcends any genre. They show that not all female punk rockers are riot grrrl.

Mr. Morales & The Big Stepper

— Kendrick Lamar

The world-renowned American rapper Kendrick Lamar returned this year after a five-year hiatus with the double album

Mr. Morales & The Big Stepper

An ambitious self-portrait of the rapper amidst a larger portrait of the society he lives in. It’s conveyed not only by introspective monologues with frantic midsong beat switches but also by a story or a performance duet.

By no surprise, however, the

self-portrait by the end of the album is left no more complete than the beginning as the parts of his personal life that the rapper shares like his trauma only leaves him more complex — more human.

Laurel Hell — Mitski

This album marked the reflective sad girl era of Mitski’s career. I was going through a pretty rough time early in 2022. When I first listened to the album, I was healing and reflecting on everything that had happened and all the feelings that I had, so this album was the perfect soundtrack to my 2022. Every song on Laurel Hell goes hard. Mitski’s lyrics are so raw and powerful and the instrumentation of the music just surrounds and immerses you into an experience that surpasses the song. This album was such a perfect comeback.

Ava Zardynezhad, Opinions & Humour Editor

Midnights — Taylor Swift

Midnights was life-changing — truly a visceral experience staying up and waiting for the album to drop and listening to all of the songs. Every single track was a different yet equally relatable experience and proof of Taylor Swift’s lyrical mastery. She’s on thin ice, however, be-

Dance Fever — Florence + the Machine

Well, it’s Florence Welch — you can’t really go wrong. This album in particular, though, reflects on the pandemic. Coming out on the other side of COVID-19, this album reminds us about the tough battle we’ve all been through over the past two years. Aside from the pandemic, Welch has some pretty moving lyrics, and the songs have a magical, Florence + the Machine-esque tone about them that I just love.

Megan Koch, Visuals Editor

Sidelines — Wild Rivers

This year has been one of solitude, anxiety, not knowing what I’m doing and working on me, myself and I. To help with all this soul searching I’ve been listening to calm acoustic folk music that embodies hygge — coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being. This album is my hygge.

Valery Perez, Visuals Editor

RENAISSANCE — Beyoncé

The disco vibes and the album’s storytelling captivated me with every song. I will admit there is a lull in the middle of the album after “BREAK MY SOUL” and it’s intentional but gets

picked up again with “VIRGO’S GROOVE” with six minutes of just vibes which I am all for. I chose SUMMER RENAISSANCE” because it’s Beyoncé’s own vibe mixed with a bit of the iconic “I Feel Love” by Donna Summer. I have other faves on this album, but the two songs I chose capture the vibe that overtook my most played this year.

Ramiro Bustamante Torres, Layout Editor

Chrome Bull — Duckwrth

As an avid fan of the post-apocalyptic and Blade Runner aesthetic, I cannot help but listen to this album obsessively. Now that Calgary has entered its ugly winter stage, escape is but a pair of headphones away.

Namratha Badwawadagi, Volunteer Coordinator

The Car — Arctic Monkeys

The most mainstream indie rock band of all time came back with another adventurous album about how, sometimes, it’s good to be a little lost. The Artic Monkeys have been transforming the new-millennium rock scenery for a while now. This album reflects that a lot, as it works in the new direction the band wants to take and creates this lost-in-nowhere-type album. A great listen for the homesick who just want to ease their minds for a second and enjoy an incredible musical experience.

Rodrigo Verney, Sports & Lifestyle Editor

arts@thegauntlet.ca @GauntletUofC
Editor: Sheroog Kubur
DECEMBER 12, 2022 | 9 CHECK OUT THE STAFF PICKS ALONG WITH TWO TOP SONGS PER PICK IN A SPOTIFY PLAYLIST BY SCANNING THE QR CODE BELOW OR LOOK FOR IT ON OUR WEBSITE! MIXTAPE
»
cause of the TicketMaster fiasco. Aymen Sherwani, Voices Editor What was your favourite album from 2022? VALERY PEREZ

Using technology of the future to uncover the past

Archaeology — a field of study whose research is often not recognized to be as interesting as it really is. As the development of research methods continues, archaeology quickly becomes illuminated with the use of lasers, 3D mapping and DNA technology.

A professor at the University of Calgary in the department of archeology and anthropology, Dr. Kathryn Reese-Taylor, has been conducting groundbreaking research using light detection and ranging technology, better known as LiDAR. A form of laser scanning, her project uses aerial LiDAR, meaning that pulses were sent down from a sensor on a plane and when hitting something, they would bounce back to the sensor. The data that is gained is based on the measurement time it takes for the lasers to hit the sensor after being reflected. Archaeologists use this data to get a 3D map of the ground surface, which could reveal temples, buildings and other such features that have previously been unknown. The benefits of this technology are numerous,

especially when considering the precision with which it reveals large expanses of area.

“It makes me feel excited all over again about the work that I get to do,” said Reece-Taylor about LiDAR, noting the value of this new technology. “I don’t feel like I’m just redoing something, I feel like I’ve got a fresh approach.”

Considering the use of LiDAR in archaeology, the best way to discuss such matters is by examining the project that Reese-Taylor herself is directing, one that goes back thousands of years, farther south, and into the civilization of the Maya, the city of Calakmul.

Having existed for 12 centuries, Calakmul is rich with structural ruins and incredible pieces of architecture from the Mexican past, such as temples and shrines.

Due to LiDAR, Reese-Taylor and her team were able to gain much greater detail about the layout of the city, using the 3D mapping images to explore past what was already discovered from this site. Quite literally, pushing the boundaries.

“We always knew that Calakmul was more than just this 25 square kilometers, but now

we know that it’s enormous,” said Reece-Taylor. “And probably for its time period, if not the, then one of the biggest cities in the Americas.”

Using the data gained from this technology, the team can investigate further into the urban planning of Calakmul, a specific area of interest being a household compound. Depending on excavation and further testing, this compound could potentially reveal a new form of social organization based on kinship, or even on an economic aspect like an occupation. As well, extensive land of this site was discovered, composed of roads, residences and much more that allow archaeologists to dig deeper into the history of this site, gaining depth in their comprehension of the Mayan society.

However, even with the large territory of the site that has been uncovered, they haven’t found its limits yet, so another step forward is to expand on the LiDAR survey, to get a better idea of the complete span of Calakmul. Further, the team is going to commence a regional testing program to establish the temporal data. LiDAR gives a great

geographical landscape, but it lacks the chronology needed to give cultural context, so this program will be able to fill in the holes of data, thus establishing a solid base for researchers to work off of. Considering excavations and research, the focus at the moment is possible marketplaces, water storage areas, and agricultural areas — all of which give more of an indication of the society of Calakmul.

“We’re going to be doing some terrestrial LiDAR of some structures and some of the sculpture in Calakmul, in order to develop a baseline for heritage monitoring in the region,” said Reese-Taylor, when asked about future plans for this archaeological site.

The exposure of aerial LiDAR is only the beginning for this site, with a lot more research and exploration to come.

The impact that LiDAR, and other technology such as remote sensing, now has on archaeology is exponential. In showing the extent of sites, and the detailed features that span across the area, work can be done to maintain these cherished areas and conserve the landscape.

Further, the development of

this research is “important to people living around this area,” said Reese-Taylor, taking on a significant perspective of her research. “These communities not only have an interest in preserving these remains of what their ancestors built, but also this is an important economic resource for them.”

Delving into the history of this incredible site, and expanding the knowledge that is already collected, helps local communities reconnect with their identity through their own heritage and personal ancestors.

“I think for all people in the Americas, it’s crucial to understand that history did not begin with settlers,” said Reece-Taylor, drawing forward an important concept of recognition. “There were vibrant cities and incredible innovations that were here prior to Europeans arriving.”

The revelations that LiDAR has brought forward in determining more about Calakmul is extremely valuable and relevant in today’s archaeology, yet Reece-Taylor and her team are only just starting in their research of this city and the knowledge and comprehension it has to offer.

10 | DECEMBER 12, 2022 arts@thegauntlet.ca ARCHAEOLOGY »
A map of Calakmul archaeological site in Mexico. VALERY PEREZ

SPORTS & LIFESTYLE »

Editor: Rodrigo Verney sports@thegauntlet.ca

Dinos men’s swimming team become Canada West Champions

The University of Calgary

Dinos men’s swimming team made history this week after bringing one more Canada West banner home. The broad squad, consisting of young prodigy swimmers and accomplished veterans, cleaned the podiums and beat the University of British Columbia (UBC) Thunderbirds, their long-term rivals, to give the Dinos their 21st Canada West Championship. The win was also marked by incredible record-setting performances from the women’s team despite them not winning the championship itself. This was, truly, a performance that will be hard to forget.

This win marks the Dinos’ incredible comeback after being denied their victory in 2019 when they lost to the Thunderbirds at the championship by only five points. A single-digit margin that lived in the heart of every competitor. Fast forward to two and a half years and the Dinos now find themselves victorious over the team who beat them and the turbulent years that the pandemic presented. All while enjoying a much larger margin, racking up 924.5 points, beating the Thunderbirds’ 860. This is their first championship victory since the 2012-13 season and it couldn’t have come in a more spectacular fashion.

“There were four of us left from the meet three years ago where we lost by only a few points, so redemption was definitely the message all weekend and everyone played their role to help us win,” said Dinos swimmer Paul McKenzie.

Such an incredible performance entails much more than a simple celebration of victory. This win ensures their place at the top of the West and sets their eyes for the College Cup and, possibly, even the USPORTS National Championships — giving them a chance to beat their 201213 season by climbing higher on the USPORTS podium this time around. The chances are def-

initely in their favour but they have to maintain this same level of focus and win the College Cup to keep on advancing at the same pace against the tough divisional competition.

The banner wasn’t the only Dinos accomplishment featured in the event, as they appeared on the podium a total of nine times out of 14 on the third day. The Dinos men’s team were able to leave their mark at the 200 meters Individual Medley as Nathan Versluys and Charlie Skalenda secured second and third place respectively. At the 400 meters freestyle, the story was much different. The Dinos duo, Versluys and Paul McKenzie, finished at the top of the podium with impressive times as both made it in less than four minutes.

That many podium appearances were reflected in the number of medals they brought home as well. Both the women’s and the men’s teams combined for an impressive 35 medals haul. Among the many winners, it is necessary

to point out Emily De Jager, the women’s rookie who got bronze at the 400 freestyle where she stopped a Thunderbirds podium sweep. Her performance overall was astonishing, placing fourth the day before.

It has been a big week for Skalenda as he was selected as Canada West Men’s Rookie of the Year on top of all of his podium appearances. The talented young swimmer also accumulated an impressive total of 1473 FINA points in his two best performances. This kind of praise is well deserved and it means a lot for any athlete, no matter the level of play. The crown of rookie of the year shows that you have more than just achieved what you were supposed to — you exceeded.

“To receive this award really means a lot since it is something I can only achieve once in my swimming career,” said Skalenda when asked about the weight of this achievement. “To do it during a competition where I can be proud of my efforts

and performances while being supported by everyone on the team to push me to do my best is a great feeling. I couldn’t have done it without them.”

The women’s team went above and beyond in typical Dinos fashion. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to beat the Thunderbirds for the title. However, that shouldn’t diminish all of their other achievements at the event. The team combined for a total of 810.5 points which gave them second place with a total of 263 points ahead of the University of Victoria Vikes in third place. The team also featured Olympian Rebecca Smith that won gold in all of her individual events. All while setting new championship records for individual and group events. Smith got the honour to be named back-to-back Canada West Women’s MVP and earned the reputation of having the most amount of championship records in CW swimming history.

The Dinos also understand how sports have a much broader

objective than just getting medals. It goes beyond the game. That is why the team makes an effort to exceed beyond the pool. Mark McKenzie got recognition for his work in the community. He was awarded this year’s Canada West Student-Athlete Community Service Award. One of the most important awards in the life of an athlete. Knowing that the community reciprocates your passion and care means more than any championship.

Overall, this event has been a great measure of the Dinos’ growth for the past two years. A team that was slowly rising reached its first major breaking point and came out on top. From now on they’ll be able to look back at their photos and rejoice in the excitement they felt at that moment. A true wonder that few get to experience. As of now, the future looks bright for the Dinos. They have to maintain the same level of commitment and hard work, but that will be easy for the best of the West.

@GauntletUofC
DECEMBER 12, 2022 | 11 BEST IN THE WEST »
The U of C Men’s Swimming team has claimed the CW Championship top spot. credit LAUREN TEGHTSOONIAN

Andrea’s Book Nook: All-time book recommendations from five different book genres

est times of humanity, people were willing to sacrifice their lives to fight for what was right. Overall, this book is a tribute to the experiences of all those children who were unjustly separated from their parents during the war, a novel about love and resilience.

Mystery: The Hunting Party by Lucy Foley

This is a captivating novel that will engage any reader.

Biography/Memoir: The Happiest ManonEarthby Eddie Jaku

With this piece, my intention is to share my favourite books from five different literary genres. From a love story that persists through decades, to a memoir about survival, I believe these novels are the perfect reads for the upcoming winter break. Happy reading!

Historical Fiction: Children of the Starsby Mario Escobar

This book tells the story of Jacob and Moses Stein, two Jewish brothers who live in Nazi-occupied France. The plot follows their journey across Europe and through an entire ocean to reach South America, where they intend to be reunited with their parents. As a reader, I enjoyed learning about Le Chambon-sur-Lignon, a small French village that served as a refuge for people who escaped the Nazi regime. Additionally, I think that this novel holds an important message: that even through the dark-

To continue a long-sustained tradition, a group of Oxford University friends travel to a remote lodge in the Scottish Highlands to celebrate the New Year together. Two days after their arrival, a dead body is found buried in the snow. Emma, Mark, Miranda, Julien, Nick, Bo, Samira, Giles, Katie, and the two lodge staff members, Heather and Doug, are trapped in a huge snowstorm that prevents them from leaving the property. Through alternating chapters, the readers get a close look at this friend group’s dynamic, as old conflicts remerge, and secrets are revealed, bringing out the worst of the characters. The story is told from five different points of view that uncover who the murderer and the victim are.

This book tells the inspiring story of Eddie Jaku, a survivor of the Holocaust. Eddie was born in 1920, in Leipzig, Germany. In 1938, he was arrested by the Nazis for being a Jew. Eddie faced the unimaginable, surviving the concentration camps of Buchenwald and Auschwitz. To honour those who did not survive, Eddie made a commitment to smile every day and be the happiest man on earth. Overall, this memoir tells the story of a man who decided to share his incredible outlook on life, spread positivity and make sure the horrors of the Holocaust are never forgotten.

Literary Fiction (Classics): Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez

This is a popular book that tells the love story of Fermina Daza and Florentino Ariza. This novel is a beautifully narrated tale, told over the course of more than 60 years, that revolves around the mad perse-

verance of frustrated love. It is set in a time when, according to the narrator, the signs of falling in love “could be mistakes for the symptoms of cholera.” In this novel, the Colombian author explores the significance of family, friendships, and of love that challenges the passing of time.

Ribeyro

This recommendation is a compilation of short stories written by Julio Ramón Ribeyro. My favourite short story of his is “Los gallinazos sin plumas” or “The Featherless Hens” in English. This brief tale is about the brothers Efraín and Enrique, two children exploited by their grandfather, Don Santos, an old man with a wooden leg, who forces them to rummage through Lima’s landfills to find food for his pig, Pascual. Most of Ribeyro’s short stories feature people forgotten by society, these characters are the dying, the frustrated, and those who suffer from deterioration and perishing. His work is a significant contribution to Latin American literature, which is why I recommend any of his short stories.

12 | DECEMBER 12, 2022 sports@thegauntlet.ca Thank you Andrea! — the Gauntlet Staff BOOK RECS »
Andrea Silva Volunteer Short Stories: Cuentos by Julio Ramon This will be the last Book Nook from Andrea as she graduates this year. MEGAN KOCH

Top five ways to relax during finals season

A s university students, finals season is the most stressful time of the semester and it can be easy to fall into a cycle of late-night studying, cramming, and lots of worrying over succeeding. However, despite the importance of our grades and exams, it is vital to balance out the week with activities and practices that are meant to keep us on the calmer side.

Food for thought

With all that revision, we become prone to headaches and migraines. One way to help is to take breaks to eat foods that are meant to strengthen our most important asset — the brain. Although coffee is a popular exam season go-to, it can make us extremely jittery and make us more prone to nerves. Great alternatives include blueberries, pumpkin seeds, and dark chocolate (for those of you with

an avid sweet tooth). These have additional nutrients that encourage blood circulation to the brain, dark chocolate even helps to elevate our happiness levels.

Getting enough sleep

This may seem impossible to do but having a regular sleep schedule is essential to keeping your mind fresh and ensuring you retain the information you study. It does not take much to actually put this step into practice. Try to wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day or, if that does not work, avoid using your phone for at least 30 minutes before going to bed. It has been proven that screen time before bed decreases your chances of having a good night’s rest.

Study spaces

Whether it is your room, the nearest library, or a certain spot on campus, where you study makes all the difference. I suggest you choose a space that is

calm, quiet, and not too stimulating. Go in with a plan, have a certain list of tasks you want to accomplish on a particular day, find the right space to complete them, get your favourite winter-time drink (even if it is coffee) and you will be able to see a difference in the way you work and retain your material. If you choose to stay in your room, try to make sure it is clean and organized before you begin. Besides, cleaning is

often seen as a therapeutic activity before getting started on work.

Morning meditations

Taking a few minutes in the morning to just breathe is often all you need to ensure a level head before you start studying or essay writing. The best part is that this can be done indoors which is especially important because of the winter weather we have been seeing lately.

Some students may prefer the gym, which is also a great way to relieve stress, but for those who may not have access to one, meditating is the perfect activity for you. It gets your blood pumping and breathing exercises are essential to reduce anxiety as well.

Plan, plan, plan

It is extremely easy for us to get mixed up with our submission deadlines and exam dates as the semester draws to a close. This causes more stress than we usually experience as it can get very overwhelming. A good way to reduce that stress is by organizing ourselves. This could look different for everyone; a physical planner, a whiteboard or even just the notes app on your phone. If it helps you keep track of what you need to do then that will do the trick. Look over all your course outlines and jot down the deadlines and how you think you would be able to tackle them best.

Good luck everyone!

DECEMBER 12, 2022 | 13 thegauntlet.ca/category/lifestyle DE-STRESS »
Find ways to de-stress during this exam season. MACKENZIE ASHCROFT

OPINIONS & HUMOUR »

Just Stop Oil activism: This too shall pass

On October 14, 2022, two young climate change activists threw a can of soup at Vincent Van Gogh’s “Sunflowers.” The two United Kingdom born activists, Phoebe Plummer and Anna Holland, are a part of the group Just Stop Oil which aims to end the UK government’s continual support to the development and production of fossil fuels. The two also posed the question, “what is worth more, art or life?”

While climate change activists, art aficionados and average citizens around the world have still not been able to answer this question, all shared a feeling of shock. There was outrage at the defacement of a work of art that reflected the beauty of nature and gratitude for it. Others applauded the bravery of the two young people for creating

an impactful metaphor — if we cannot accept the destruction of a beautiful painting, how can we accept the destruction of our natural world?

Yet, for those who have followed the activities of young climate change activists for years, the actions of Plummer and Holland can only be justified by the longstanding ignorance to their cause. They should not be perceived as right or wrong, but rather inevitable.

Arguably, the last time many experienced shock in response to the actions of a young person lobbying for change in the global response to the climate crisis was in 2019. At the United Nations Climate Summit in New York, a 16-year-old Swedish activist by the name of Greta Thunberg appalled the international community with her emotional speech calling out the empty promises of world leaders. Thunberg had only started protesting the

year prior. She started skipping school to protest alone outside of Swedish parliament after watching a documentary about the worldwide impacts of climate change. As her cause attracted media attention, Thunberg made these strikes a regular occurrence by kickstarting “Fridays for Future.” Slowly, students across the globe joined her cause. It was reported, in November 2018, that more than 17,000 students in two countries had staged walkouts from school. Thunberg was then invited to speak at several international conferences and events, one of which being the summit in New York.

The summit was meant to address global concerns and inject new momentum into actions taken by countries across the globe. Thunberg’s speech was to be pivotal in this as she attempted to represent younger generations who will be dealing with the direct con-

sequences of the climate crisis. “You have stolen my dream and my childhood with your empty words,” stated Thunberg. Many praised her for the profound emotion she displayed during her speech and the unreserved way in which she addressed world leaders. Others however, painted Thunberg’s passionate speech as hysterical and ridiculed her. One conservative commentator even went as far as to liken her methods of those with promoters of Nazi Propoganda. Her “disturbing” speech was also seen as counter-intuitive to the goals of climate change activists as it painted them as radical and overly emotional.

Despite the attention Thunberg’s speech attracted — both good and bad — her supporters were still disappointed with the policies that were initiated following the summit. India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi echoed her sentiments but

did not announce any plans to limit the use of non-renewable energy sources. Germany’s former chancellor Angela Merkel disclosed plans to end Germany’s coal-mining by 2038 — a timeframe many environmentalists believe does not reflect the urgency of action needed. Some nations, like China, did not announce any new initiatives to combat the climate crisis.

In the years since then, Thunberg has continued her activism but the inter-governmental responses to the climate crisis have remained fairly similar to 2019. Yet, the global warming crisis and climate change-related disasters continues to grow more dire.

As such, the actions of Just Stop Oil and their army of young activists cannot be completely condemned or praised. They only reflect the increasing desperation of young environmentalists as their complaints fall on deaf ears. Yes, it is fair to say that the actions they took on Oct. 14 raised much awareness for the cause. They shed light on the many new licenses the UK government had given out to drill near the North Sea. Yet, it is also justified to express anger over the near destruction of a piece by one of history’s most beloved artists. Many are right when they claim that art is a form of solace for common citizens and thus any attempt to destroy it is inherently wrong.

Nonetheless, as governments continue to fail to meet their goals of lowering emissions and putting forth policies that take immediate actions against climate change, such instances of activism shall continue to persist and increase in both regularity and extremity.

Editor:
opinions@thegauntlet.ca @GauntletUofC
Ava Zardynezhad
14 | DECEMBER 12, 2022
The Just Stop Oil had thrown soup on an artwork by Vincent Van Gogh. VALERY PEREZ
“... Thunberg appalled the international community with her emotional speech calling out the empty promises of world leaders.”

Activities to occupy your time with the week before your final

By much-unexpected misfortune, you find yourself with no more than a week left until an important final. Utterly unprepared to face the future, here are a few activities you can occupy your time with in the meantime.

Bake a cheesecake

For a student to achieve academic success, they must be well-nourished — it is known. So, you decide to learn how to bake a cheesecake for the first time. But, much like studying for an exam, you never study a recipe too closely until minutes before you start baking. You realize you’re missing half of the ingredients that you need, but you’re committed to this course of action now and there’s no way you can study on an empty stomach, so out to the store you go — for the third time today.

Harness-train your cat

They say taking a mental

CHILLING REALIZATIONS »

health walk goes a long way, even if you do it for just five minutes. Being the considerate human that you are, you can’t just leave your poor cat at home alone and unstimulated for that long. So, you decide to harness-train your cat and take her for her first walk outside, all in a day’s work. After a pack of treats, scratch marks that might need medical attention and a harness that’s seen so much evil, it no longer resembles its old self, you decide your cat is definitely more of an indoor cat.

Go to IKEA Ergonomics is everything when it comes to studying. You can’t be expected to study for over eight hours a day on an uncomfortable chair, can you? To remedy that, you head over to everyone’s favourite urban amusement park, IKEA. Obviously, you can’t pick a chair before trying every single one in the showroom. You also won’t have enough strength to assemble it without some of IKEA’s iconic Swedish meatballs. While walk-

ing through the market hall, you end up buying a bunch of stuff you convince yourself you’re going to need. Lugging your finds to your living quarters, however, you realize you forgot to pick up the chair. So you go back — and history repeats itself.

Rewatch The Goonies

After scrolling through a screen for hours, you realize you can’t stand to do that for another second and instead, decide to stare at it for an hour and a half, as you rewatch — possibly the greatest adventure film of all time — The Goonies. You swoon over how cute Sean Astin used to be as a kid and horrified, ponder how problematic this movie actually is. Maybe Mikey’s random, yet well-timed epiphanies will teach you how to achieve a few of your own during your final.

Try to study

Having wasted most of your time during the week leading up to your exam, you decide to actually sit down and study. You obviously can’t do that without

a movie while studying still counts.

having a meticulously outlined study plan. You decide to start a bullet journal just to keep track of all the work you need to do. This will take hours. But I guess you’ll eventually get started?

X marks the spot

In a haze and walking in the dark, you somehow reach an elevator. You enter the cab only to find one single button on the panel, marked with an X. You press the button, the doors close and you quickly descend. Once the doors open again, you’re

greeted with a great hall adorned with golden shelves packed with books. You explore the hall and find out it holds ancient wisdom that will help you pass your final. This is when you’re rudely awoken with a paw to the face. There is no great hall of wisdom. There’s only you, your bored cat, your dead laptop and the drool all over your notes.

May you have received some modicum of wisdom through the traditional mode of osmosis as you laid your head on top of your notes for a nap.

Horoscope: Winter break woes for the signs

Finals season has everyone so worried that they think they’re in the clear afterwards. What should you watch out for this winter break to end the year right?

Sagittarius (November 22– December 21)

Once you finish your finals you’ll get the sudden urge to decorate your home with no particular style in mind. Be careful not to blow your entire budget on that IKEA ottoman, especially if it’ll clash with the rest of the decor.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Feeling like you haven’t spent enough time with those close to you, you begin couch surfing during the break under the guise of “‘tis the season” to mask the fact

you’re bumming off everyone. At least help with cleaning up after yourself.

Aquarius (January 20– February 18)

You believe in the spirit of giving but only gifts made by hand because they should have meaning. The new semester will start before you finish any of these new projects as you keep finding new hobbies you’ll base your personality on.

Pisces (February 19 –March 20)

You want to bring people into your life more so you decide to be generous and invite people out and pay for a drink or a snack. However, you’ll soon realize this is exactly what old people do at the park with pigeons, and like pigeons, the people will leave once the bread is gone.

Aries (March 21 –April 19)

You plan a little get-together with a few of your friends to spend time together after a hard semester. Somehow more and more people have started showing up to your event as “plus ones” filling your party up to the point you end up outside since it’s too full inside.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Your first instinct this winter is to isolate and hibernate. However, no star is a constellation on its own, so go out and find comfort with others. If others start draining you, just stay out long enough to get your daily vitamin D.

Gemini (May 21 –June 20)

You’ve been put in charge of some form of gift exchange with either your friends or for work, all because you bragged about how you could easily wrangle everyone into doing one. Time to put your money where your mouth is and not go over the agreed budget.

Cancer (June 21 –July 22)

Every winter break you do the same things so you try to switch it up and make plans to do stuff you’ve never tried before. Somehow you’ve double-booked yourself almost every day which leads to running across the city wondering how you can bail half the stuff you planned.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’ve been talking big game as to how you will go all-out once the semester is over since you’ll have so much more free time. While you know everyone listens to you when you talk, you never thought they would hold it against you. Make sure you have a good excuse for all the promises you made before you have to pull a PR stunt on your social media.

Virgo (August 23–September 22)

You may have the answers to everything but do you know how to take a break that does not involve doing more work? Sometimes binge-watching that show you’ve put off and letting others pick up the slack can also count as being productive.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You try to find yourself under the mistletoe whenever possible in hopes of finding someone special, however not every frog can turn into royalty. Sometimes it’s good to try near the fruit punch or just go and talk to your crush to see if you really like them.

Scorpio (October 23–November 22)

You have spent all year telling others what they should and should not do, which you were absolutely correct about much to everyone’s ego, but now it’s your turn to follow that advice. It hurts being right when you have to listen to yourself as well.

DECEMBER 12, 2022 | 15 thegauntlet.ca/category/humour
FINALS SZN »
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