Letters
E Preference for the outer world and one's own action and effect on it
I Preference for inner self and ideas to understand and protect or nurture it
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Clues Might start talking right away when you meet them Could be uncomfortable with pauses in the conversation and will work to fill in any silence Might talk over you, interrupt you, and finish your sentences Sometimes are energised from rapid back and forth conversation Might lean forward, into the conversation Could talk with their hands, in addition to their voices Might ask “why are you so quiet” if you aren’t talking as much as them Often maintain eye contact Sometimes speak rapidly and louder than their opposite preference Often appear enthusiastic and animated when they speak Could describe themselves as a “people person
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Often are comfortable with extended pauses in conversation (it gives them time to think) Might lean back in their chair, away from the conversation Could ask is there something they could read to learn more about what you are discussing Might speak slower and with a quieter tone Could avoid eye contact Might not interrupt a conversation to make their point, even when appropriate to do so Sometimes prefer email communication over talking in person They look like they are internailsing Sometimes feels like you are getting blood from a stone
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S Gathers information by focusing on facts within information
N Gathers information by interpreting patterns, possibilities and meaning from information received
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Sometimes have a very specific speech pattern, using concrete descriptive words and examples Might ask data collection questions that begin with words such as “how” and “what” Could be cautious to go beyond what is actual, or what is the reality of the moment Sometimes remember the past accurately Could take notes when you are talking to remember all the details of what was discussed And my personal favorite – Often describe things in a linear way with lots of details (ask them for directions to someplace complicated for a good example…. Very linear and detailed! Can sound vague and high level when describing things Usually love to brainstorm about the possibilities of a subject Could ask long term kind of questions like what is the future of a certain career field Are more likely to ask questions that start with “what if”, “suppose” and “why” Often jump around in the conversation, following whatever tangent is most interesting in the moment Might enjoy telling stories with metaphors Often describe things in a vague / high level way - (A lot less information on directions than the above example)
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Best way to deal with Remember they need to articulate their thinking and often cut across what you are saying – they are not being rude. Allow them adequate time to discuss / ask questions Focus on the action they should take….
Present an agenda (preferably in advance, by letter). Make questions concise. Take care not to fill the silence after you have asked a question with another question or a possible answer! Wait and listen. Give colleagues adequate reflection time Focus on the things they should be thinking about… Remember they need to understand the order / sequence / detail / mechanics Offer specific, practical solutions Focus on the present (and how your solutions have worked in the past for others)
Remember they need the big picture first and then the detail (possibly!) Offer options at the first call rather than prescriptive answers Focus on the future (opportunities and dreams)
T Decides by using logic, consistency, objective analysis, process-driven conclusions
F Decides according to what matters to self and others, and personal values
J In dealing with the world organises, plans, controls, and decides clear firm actions and responses
P In dealing with the world responds and acts with flexibility, spontaneity, adaptability and understanding - relatively slow to decide
• Might look more serious, business-like, appearing a bit indifferent • Often will jump right into the purpose of the meeting without my prompting • If I compliment them, they sometimes respond with a quick thank you with little personal narrative about what I complimented them about • Could appear critical because of their focus on what is wrong and needs to be fixed • Sometimes will argue or debate a point just for fun • Might use dark humor, sharp wit or sarcasm • Could question my competence to see if they deem me competent • Often use the phrase “I think…” • Focus on the task • Might start the conversation by asking how you feel • Often respond to a compliment with a longer personal narrative about what was complimented about • Sometimes speak about what they feel, appreciate, and value • Might begin a sentence with the phrase “I feel…” • Could ask about how others have decided about something • Often begin emails with personal questions or commentary, maybe even add a :) • Usually smile at you, shake their head up and down, validating what you are saying • Could be very open and generous in their compliments and appreciation of you
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• Might show up 15 minutes prior to an appointment or engagement • Often will get assignments done days before the deadline • Could have a neat, crisp appearance with clothes pressed, hair well groomed, more conservative and angular in style .. work before they play • Often have a very organized • Might plan out their weekends and vacations with a schedule, and don’t want to move forward without a plan • Could appear closed to new information once a decision has been made • Might decide quickly to get a decision checked off their list • Relatively quick to decide • Ask them when they do their tax returns…some time before the 31ST Jan deadline!! • Sometimes late for meetings, or dash in last minute • Just about makes deadlines • Have a look of “laid backness” about them… play anytime • Often appear disorganised….their desk often looks like they have just been burgled • Usually open to new information and tend to change their plans • Relatively slow to make decisions • Ask then when they do their tax returns… somewhere near the 31st Jan… up to midnight!!
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Focus on outcomes, results, performance, monetary benefits Elicit thoughts Use cause and effect reasoning and logical arguments Recognise and compliment past decisions They are interested in the task
Focus on the people concerned, how life will be improved, secured. Elicit feelings Empathise, listen carefully, encourage and praise past decisions They are interested in the relationship
Focus on timescales, milestones within the plan Explain the next steps in an planned, organised manner, what you will do to pinpoint the correct solution Ensure you are there on time, fully prepared Keep to the structure of the meeting and avoid “left field” tangents! Focus on options and flexibility within the plan Explain possible next steps, what you will do re: researching the various options to determine the best solution. Ensure you build in time for colleagues to explore associated thoughts and feelings Have a fluid structure and allow colleagues to go off on tangents before gently bringing back to agenda.
Their probable type _______________ Middle two letters _____________ Where do we clash?
What do I need to do?
ST •Be brief, factual •Logical, sequential •Use data as proof •Need practical reasons •Test your awareness of facts, details •Need honesty, clarity NT •Give overall options •Respect intelligence •Give alternatives •Allow for input •Need goals •Need respect for competency •Note long term trends, factual
SF •Listen carefully •Use examples of other people •Provide facts, practical info •Need to see positive impact on self and others •Value finding similarities between you NF •Listen carefully •Relate info to possibilities •Suggest big picture solutions •Seek harmony •Want to meet needs of those involved •Need to feel heard