Letters
E Preference for the outer world and one's own action and effect on it
I Preference for inner self and ideas to understand and protect or nurture it
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Clues Might start talking right away when you meet them Could be uncomfortable with pauses in the conversation and will work to fill in any silence Might talk over you, interrupt you, and finish your sentences Sometimes are energised from rapid back and forth conversation Might lean forward, into the conversation Could talk with their hands, in addition to their voices Might ask “why are you so quiet” if you aren’t talking as much as them Often maintain eye contact Sometimes speak rapidly and louder than their opposite preference Often appear enthusiastic and animated when they speak Could describe themselves as a “people person
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Often are comfortable with extended pauses in conversation (it gives them time to think) Might lean back in their chair, away from the conversation Could ask is there something they could read to learn more about what you are discussing Might speak slower and with a quieter tone Could avoid eye contact Might not interrupt a conversation to make their point, even when appropriate to do so Sometimes prefer email communication over talking in person They look like they are internailsing Sometimes feels like you are getting blood from a stone
Clash? •
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S Gathers information by focusing on facts within information
N Gathers information by interpreting patterns, possibilities and meaning from information received
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Sometimes have a very specific speech pattern, using concrete descriptive words and examples Might ask data collection questions that begin with words such as “how” and “what” Could be cautious to go beyond what is actual, or what is the reality of the moment Sometimes remember the past accurately Could take notes when you are talking to remember all the details of what was discussed And my personal favorite – Often describe things in a linear way with lots of details (ask them for directions to someplace complicated for a good example…. Very linear and detailed! Can sound vague and high level when describing things Usually love to brainstorm about the possibilities of a subject Could ask long term kind of questions like what is the future of a certain career field Are more likely to ask questions that start with “what if”, “suppose” and “why” Often jump around in the conversation, following whatever tangent is most interesting in the moment Might enjoy telling stories with metaphors Often describe things in a vague / high level way - (A lot less information on directions than the above example)
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Best way to deal with Remember they need to articulate their thinking and often cut across what you are saying – they are not being rude. Allow them adequate time to discuss / ask questions Focus on the action they should take….
Present an agenda (preferably in advance, by letter). Make questions concise. Take care not to fill the silence after you have asked a question with another question or a possible answer! Wait and listen. Give colleagues adequate reflection time Focus on the things they should be thinking about… Remember they need to understand the order / sequence / detail / mechanics Offer specific, practical solutions Focus on the present (and how your solutions have worked in the past for others)
Remember they need the big picture first and then the detail (possibly!) Offer options at the first call rather than prescriptive answers Focus on the future (opportunities and dreams)